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Picture Perfect Image

Football Player!Lee Jeno x Photographer!Fem!Reader

Genre: bad first impressions, forced proximity, fluff, strangers/coworkers to lovers, light angst, football!au

Warning(s): language, typical football violence, there’s a break in

WC: 35K

Picture Perfect Image Playlist

Part of SportCT

Summary:

When star professional football player, Jeno Lee, “tackles” an unsuspecting photographer on the sideline of a nationally broadcast football game his reputation is put on the line. His publicist makes him cart a -mostly unwilling- photographer around to make sure he is now on a journey to win back his picture perfect image. The safety has to deal with the media and growing feeling for his grumpy social media manager as the team works towards winning their first Ace Bowl.

~~

You learn a lot about yourself when you get hit by 180 pounds of pure man. 

Usually, you wouldn’t have cared about the heavy weight of a man on top of you. It was preferred if you were being honest with yourself.

Of course, you weren’t usually carried off an IFL game’s sidelines after said weight gave you a concussion and broken arm.

(All of this you learned when you gained consciousness from behind the visiting team’s bench.)

Seguir leyendo

we can't be friends (CS x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

San is your first love. He broke your heart and played with your feelings without even kissing you back when you two were in highschool. Now, many years later, you do your best to avoid crossing paths with him because there's just no way you could ever hate him, but there's also no way you two can be friends again. But his best friend is also one of your best friends, so there's only so much you can do to avoid San when he arranges a dinner you're forced to go to.

PAIRING: first love!choi san x afab reader.

GENRE: one shot (fluff, angst, smut)

WORD COUNT: 20k (yikes).

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, unnecesary pinning, a looot of context, bad friends :(, some arguing, tension, drinking and drunk behavior, tears, making out, description of female anatomy, oral (f reciving), fingering, love making, pet names (babe, baby), flirty seonghwa, wooyoung being a little shit again but also a genius, gyuri almost commiting a crime.

NOTES: hi everyone! this is a lenghty one, i know, but trust me when I say the context is necessary to understand what reader goes through with san. also, some of this may or may not have happened to me (have fun figuring out which part) (it's quite obvious tbh). THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW AND TELL UNIVERSE BUT CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE, even though there's some references and characters that you can only know if you read s&t lol. this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: august 06 2024.

permanent taglist: @hotteokkay, @potatomountain, @fairylover68

masterlist.

You and Choi San go way back. 

Well, it's nine years way back? You were only fourteen when you first saw him. 

He moved back to your area of the city a year after you moved from an entirely different one. You thought you knew every school secret there ever was, provided by your new best friend, Gyuri, but she didn't tell you about him at all. 

She claimed that it was because he didn't cause any stir the years they studied together before and after spending a whole first period in your eighth grade classroom with him at the back of the class, silently taking notes, you couldn't phantom why.

He was great at every subject, seemed to have a lot of popular friends and was, overall, a pretty nice guy. He was also very cute, skinny but you could tell he was the kind of guy who played a sport outside of school hours and he had a cute pair of dimples that showed everytime you scanned the classroom just to lay eyes on him. 

Choi San was a perfect boy to crush on, even a perfect guy just to have as eye candy during recess. You felt really strongly about him, not really forming a full opinion although your gut told you right away you were right. There was something about him… but you only figured that something until later, next year, starting your ninth grade. 

Gyuri and you were avid readers. Precocious girls, with minds way above your age. All your teachers praised came laced with the same compliment so you both decided that was the truth. You rejoiced in it, thinking you shared things in common with the grown ups and decided that that was the key to feeling a little superior in comparison to the rest of your classmates, who neither of you liked very much. 

Until they all decided to start dating each other and you two realized you were nothing but two kids with great imaginations and a love for school, praise and fictional men that couldn't be translated to the real world without sounding delusional and weird. 

So you decided to do something about it. And so, on a random Tuesday recess, you two scanned the crowd trying to find two boys (or a boy and a girl, because you always knew you liked girls too) worthy of your affections. One for her, one for you. Bonus points if the two of them were also best friends, of course. 

Double dates were all the buzz at the time anyways. 

Besides, only then they could understand the bond you and Gyuri had. Sisterhood like no other, nevermind Gyuri actually had an older sister and a niece at the ripe age of fifteen. 

And so when your index finger scanned the crowd and eliminated at least three potential crushes before landing on Choi San, you felt like it was meant to be. 

You see, his best friend, Jung Wooyoung, was perfect for Gyuri to crush on. He was almost as tall as she was at the time and his easy, outgoing personality was compatible with her book crush at the time as well. 

He also flirted with her on several occasions before that. 

So it was meant to be. 

Choi San, on the other hand, had never even glanced in your direction before. 

Just like your book crush did before he fell in love with the main character. 

See? Meant. To. Be. 

It was decided then that, although Choi San was not going to be your first crush ever, he was going to be the guy that motivated you to be at school for the time being, because math gets really boring after trying and failing at least ten times. 

You thought nothing of it when it felt a little forced, when you couldn't blush at all at the sight of him and you gathered that it didn't need to happen like in the books you read. You simply needed to say his name when someone asked you if you had a crush on anyone and that was enough to be in symphony with the rest of your classmates. 

Your longing glances were caught once or twice by him and you brushed the weird flip your stomach did everytime he looked away, blushing a little. You never really cared when it happened, really, knowing his crowd and your crowd (Gyuri and you) would never even cross paths in the first place. 

You two kept to yourselves and your little book unofficial book club, sitting on the floor at lunch time and cursing everyone who dared to call you weird for it. San and Wooyoung had a crowd of people at the loudest table laughing with them over stupid teen jokes and, uh, sports? You didn't even know. 

And then the unimaginable happened. 

Jung Wooyoung sat down, criss cross applesauce and everything, in front of you on a random Monday afternoon while you and Gyuri discussed the english assignment due next period. 

Gyuri was not too excited about that. 

Turns out, the only one excited to have a crush at school was you. She was very much still in the Lonely Hearts Club phase while you skipped all the way to your The Notebook phase and she was, in her own words, too afraid to admit it when you came up with your crush plan. 

You forgave her, of course, and decided to wait for her as long as needed because you were certainly not about to be an individual and have a crush on your own. 

And by the time Wooyoung smiled at you both and introduced himself to you, like you weren't in the same class for a year already, you thought your pretend crush on his best friend evaporated and joined the void superficial and fleeting interests you had. 

But then Choi San sat beside him, his knee brushing against yours in the process, and you knew you would have to issue a formal apology to your best and only friend for leaving her behind on this little thing. 

Because, oh boy, were you crushing on Choi San. 

You felt the blush rush to your cheeks and then fell silent while your friend and his friend discussed Fifty Shades of Grey for some reason you never cared enough to discover and you knew you were done for.

It was the first time seeing his dimples in full action, so close to you, so you completely stopped functioning all together. Amazing. 

When you decided to have a crush, you never took into account that you were, actually, quite shy. And he really wasn't, but you noticed that he knew when to talk and what to say and with your friend being a lot more outgoing that you were it gave you the comfort that she would speak for the both of you while you admired from the sidelines as your little duo became a group of friends you still miss deeply to this day. 

He was funny and you laughed at your jokes even though you pretended to be tired and completely worn out by the school day, resting your head on Gyuri’s shoulder and stealing glances at the boy while she kept arguing with his best friend. 

Wooyoung was popular and liked enough to have a few people sit with you later that week, people who never even knew you existed before that. They were good friends with San as well, so you tried your best to keep up with everyone until she sat down next to you one day. 

Arin was not really a bad person. She just was a bit conceited, calling herself princess type of conceited and you never really related to her even if she was nice to you to your face. She was absolutely gorgeous and, you found out with Wooyoung’s arm around your shoulder and a whisper to your ear, she had been San’s crush since they were both in elementary school. 

That would explain the sudden tension at the table when she sat down next to you, said hello to everyone, offered you a sweet she just bought from the cafeteria, and stared at San for the remainder of lunch time. 

You also noticed Wooyoung glaring at her a little and he later explained to you that he didn't really like her all that much. She loved attention and San gave her attention, so she would intentionally flirt with him to get her ego stroked in return. 

It didn't really matter how he felt about the girl, though, he didn't have to like her just because his best friend did. And when you caught her batting her eyelashes at San, you knew you didn't even stand a chance.

You tried to hide the disappointed look on your face but both Gyuri and Wooyoung looked at you while the two of them flirted endlessly for the remainder of lunch time and you figured you were doing a pretty shitty job at it. He didn't glance at you once either way, so it didn't really matter. 

Arin did but she just complimented your eyes and then started a conversation with someone across the table, her annoying sweet and fake voice making your right ear ring in disapproval. 

Either way, you ended up becoming her friend. Gyuri was not very fond of her and neither were you, but you all went to the bathroom together, did your makeup together, did school projects together and then sat everyday at lunch together with the rest of the guys who were, in one way or another, trying to get her to like them. 

Because, once again, she was a sight for sore eyes. 

It wasn't until later, in the middle of the year, that one of them did. Not Choi San, but Choi Yeonjun. 

You remember the day you found out they were together and the gut wrenching concern you felt when you found out that San was not at school that day. 

It was after summer break, you remember Wooyoung telling you that San and his family took a few more days of vacation and if you couldn't believe your eyes when you saw the new couple sharing a sweet kiss at the designated lunch table, you could only imagine how San felt the next day when he saw the same image right in front of him. 

Yeonjun was his friend, right? He knew about his crush and decided to get together with her anyways. Surely, San was devastated. 

But he wasn't. He just cheered them on and then laughed along when Yeonjun shoved his arm playfully after the hollering. 

But you saw through it. 

Your crush on San made you observant. Made you believe you knew him better than everyone else and so, after lunch, you took out your phone and pulled up the notes app. Writing a simple “are you okay?” in it and passing it to him the next second, you were surprised with yourself before you saw him frown a bit. And then he understood what you meant. 

Nodding, he passed you the phone back, before giving you a reassuring smile that you treasured in your heart and saw in your dreams. 

You didn't believe him, though, but stayed close enough to everything related to the situation to hold Arin in your arms when Yeonjun inevitably broke her heart. 

Starting your tenth year, he moved back to his city and decided to play the I thought we weren't even that serious card on her. Which was nasty, considering love it's very, very serious for a sixteen year old girl. 

By this point, you were all a little family and hanging out after school and on the weekends was not unusual, so it didn't surprise you when Arin invited you, and only you, to her house after choir practice on a Thursday. 

She lent you her older sister’s clothes to wear (because her's would never fit you. Her words, not yours) and took you to a walk in the park just to break your heart for the first time ever. 

“You know… I thought love was something I couldn't find in highschool anymore. But San it's really making an effort, you know? He's been there for me ever since Yeonjun left and… Well, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend tomorrow.” 

Grasping the park bench she forced you to sit at, you only nodded and let out a shuddering breath that gave away what she was trying to figure out since earlier that day. 

“I'll say yes but only if you say it's okay to do so.” 

Arin was not really your friend, the same way Yeonjun was not really San’s friend. 

Because there's no way you would ever be okay with it. 

And yet, you tried your best to give her a smile and pretend the sound of your heart breaking didn't bring tears to your eyes “Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?” 

A week later, they were officially dating. The rumors spread around like a wildfire and it took out of you with everyone calling San a nasty rebound and you doing your best to prioritize the ghost of the friendship you had with him. That whole fiasco lasted a few months. 

Months in which your friendship with everyone just grew stronger. Gyuri was still your best friend, Wooyoung was crushing on her hard and everyone knew, Arin and San were a steady couple, a new girl joined your class that year, named Yeri, and the principal assigned her to you because she thought you two would get along really well. 

“I like girls,” was like, the third thing she ever told you while you were showing her the school “I'm just telling you now because I don't plan on hiding it and you are wearing a pride pin.” 

“Oh, that's cool. I like girls too,” you smiled, looking at your pride pin “I didn't hide it either and no one gave me shit about it, so, don't worry.” 

Yeri also liked the mainstream music that you liked and soon she became a new addition to your group. And with Arin spending all of her free time with San, you, Gyuri and Yeri only grew closer and closer. You didn't have Arin’s voice in your ear telling you the million reasons she found Yeri uncool, but you saw it in her face every time the table laughed at one of Yeri’s jokes. 

And so, it went on for a while: 

Your mom driving all of you around in her car to the beach, to dinner, to the movies and letting you have mixed sleepovers at your house (meaning you, Arin, Gyuri, Wooyoung, Yeri and San) was fun and all, but it was not enough to distract yourself entirely. Everytime you glanced at the couple, that sinking feeling in your chest would appear and sulk your whole mood for, at least, fifteen minutes.  

Fifteen minutes of pretending you were okay with them before forgetting completely for an hour or so and then the cycle would repeat until you were alone staring at the ceiling and doing your best to not cry about it.

All it took was your first kiss being Yeri of all people for you to decide that it was time to retire your crush for Choi San once and for all. 

And for a while, it all went according to plan. You decided to tell Gyuri that it was okay because he was your friend first and the guy that you liked second and that you were not fourteen and desperate for love anymore, that it was time to go on with your life as if nothing really happened in the first place. 

You were hooking up with Yeri anyways, so it seemed like you were doing just fine. 

You grew closer to San as well and even though he mostly talked to you about Arin and whatever tantrum she was throwing at the time, you really started to feel some sense of normalcy within you when it came to just speaking to him. 

You no longer blushed when he made you laugh, you no longer looked at him with the longing of a past life lover and you were really happy for him because, at the end of the day, he was really happy with his relationship. 

Until winter break came around and Arin decided to give San his first heartbreak ever. 

She decided to call for a break in their relationship because she was, in his words, too overwhelmed with the amount of love and attention she was getting from him. 

Which was completely fucking insane considering the fact she forced him to save her contact as Princess Arin and all. 

So naturally, you sided with him. And she didn't take it to heart because everyone knew you liked San anyways. 

She told you the news herself through Facebook after asking you to explain to her the English assignment due next day and then she decided to tell you something you'll never understand because you no longer are on speaking terms with her: 

Princess Arin: u know i broke up with him because of u right? :) 

Princess Arin: one day I'll tell u all abt it. 

She never told you anything about it. And by then, you were starting your last year and San was your best friend who hung out with you everyday after school, calling you late at night and helping you with assignments through Skype. So you didn't really care. 

And as the day passed, you started understanding the connection they talked about in books and movies. You thought you did before, Gyuri being your eternal person in this world, but it felt so different with San. 

Different and good. Different and achy enough for you to want to keep it in your life. 

Your dynamic was friendly, sure, but it was alright. It consisted of banter and daring stares as well as laughter and soft moments you treasured till this day. 

“It's way too early to be this annoying, Choi San.” 

“Oh, you think this is me being annoying?”

You both got an hour of detention for disturbing the class that day. 

You loved it. 

But then, after almost a month of picking up the broken pieces of his heart one by one, and your mother giving him a self-help book to make him regain the confidence he lost during the breakup process, you realized that you were in love with him and there was nothing you could do about that. 

You noticed one friday afternoon, when he offered to pay for your and your mom's ice cream at the drive through, when he scrambled to get all the change he had on him to leave a tip for the person who handed you guys the sweet treat, that there was no way you didn't love him. 

And it was confusing as fuck when everyone else started to tell you he had feelings for you as well. 

“Think about it. You text each other good morning everyday” Yeri listed with her finger and you nodded “Then, you go to school, sit together and spend the rest of the day together” another nod “Then after school you either go get ice cream together or hang out for a bit with your mom while she drives him home. And after that, you get on Skype for the reminder of the afternoon and then he calls you on your house phone and you two spend the rest of the night talking before falling asleep on the line together,” she looked at you like you were insane for even denying the accusations made against San, but she continued anyway “And then it's rinse and repeat and it has been that way since… What? Three months ago?” 

You nodded again, defeated. 

“Girl, he likes you.” she sighed, annoyed and a little tired, before sitting on your lap and kissing your lips affectionately “And you're here making out with me instead of him. You really are a lost cause.”

That didn't stop you from hooking up with her until she found a girl who's heart was not reserved for someone else, though. Said girl went to a different school and was a year younger than all of you, but she looked very happy and stopped secretly kissing you in the school bathroom like a week after they met. 

And when she finally told everyone, you were really happy for her, but San not so much. 

It was the night you thought everything was about to change. The night you thought he was about to kiss you or you were about to kiss him, whatever happened first. 

Laying in your bed, facing each other in the dim light, he thought it was the biggest form of betrayal and pouted the whole time he explained to you why. 

He thought you liked her and you realized he didn't really pay attention to you after all. Not the way you did with him. 

Bless his heart. 

You didn't kiss him that night because he wouldn't shut up about you and Yeri. 

“I mean, why couldn't it be you? She clearly liked you if you two were hooking up for over a year” and when his hand came to rest on your back, under your shirt, you breath hitched enough for him to notice it but not enough for him to just don't do anything about it except trace the curve of your silhouette with the pad of his thumb “I don't understand why anyone would pass the opportunity to be with you.” 

Huh. Maybe he did have feelings for you. 

No. He's just being a great best friend. Don't take that for granted. 

But it was impossible for you not to take Yeri’s words seriously as time went on. 

You didn't want to think he was giving you mixed signals, but yet again there was that one time when you reached behind your passenger seat in your mothers car to pinch his leg playfully after he pulled on your hair a little bit from behind, only to end up holding his hand the rest of the car trip to his house. 

His fingers slowly caressing the back of your hand were just too much for you not to get everything mixed up. 

Or that other time when your school held a Woman's Day event, and your class president decided that all the boys in the class were going to give roses to the girls.

When it was your turn to get a rose, you knew no one would give you one. But Yeri stood in line and collected a rose from the bin before the class president had the opportunity to say anything else. 

“I'll take that, thank you very much.” She turned to you, smiling. San blocked her way to you a second after. 

“And just what do you think you're doing?” 

“Giving my best girl a rose, of course.” She peeked around him, giving you a wink that you could only roll your eyes to. 

San turned to you, the fondness in his eyes making you question the decision of not pretending to be sick that day. It was too much for you to handle. 

“To the back of the line, then. I already called dibs on her,” he turned to your friend, snatching the rose from her hand in one swift move “I'll take that, thank you very much.” 

He had no idea what that meant to you back then. It was true that, at school, he behaved a little differently than when you two were alone. 

He was athletic, so he had some friends that you were sure used to ask him what the fuck was he doing wasting his time with a girl like you instead of getting a new girlfriend. 

He had a family that didn't approve of yours, too. You felt it the first time you met his mom and, even though she was nice to you and your mom, you could feel the judgemental stare she gave both of you when your mom told her she was a single parent. 

San told you that it didn't really matter, that his mom didn't have to like you because you weren't her friend, you were his. 

He played with your feelings a little too well. Wanting him, adoring him and letting yourself be consumed by the thought of him loving you back was enough to keep it going. To ignore the fluttering way your heart kept beating whenever he talked to you which was all the time. 

You assumed the way he behaved with you in private was the real him. The one who didn't care about appearances or his family approval. 

The one who cared about you. 

It was dizzying and fantastic and you thought he just might've been the love of your life. 

But then he would tell you how much it hurted when he saw Arin at school and how much he missed her, the intimacy they shared before, and reality would come crashing down and setting your delusions on fire again. 

He had sex with Arin. You would never stand a chance. 

Or so you thought he did. Except when you overheard Arin speaking to her friends and that was the first time you ever got mad at Choi San.

“And, you know, me and San were never intimate like that so I wouldn't know but I think boys have no idea how to please a woman if they tried to.” 

What? 

Oh. So he lied to you. 

And you were so upset by the thought of him making up stories of their intimate time together that it didn't even cross your mind that Arin might've been lying to save face. 

So when he came back from the bathroom and sat at his usual desk in front of you, you didn't even think about his feelings when you decided to treat him like shit for lying about something so important like sex to your face. 

“Leave me alone, San! I don't want to fucking talk to you right now!” 

The hurt expression he gave you after that is one you would never be able to forget. 

But you grew to be stubborn and a little overprotective of your own feelings, so you thought him playing the part of your best friend all these months and sweet talking to you was just another one of his lies. 

“You guys not being friends right now doesn't make any fucking sense, sweetheart.” Wooyoung's tone is careful and laced with affection, but you knew he was playing the devil's advocate on behalf of San. With his arm around Gyuri’s shoulder (by that point, they were a thing for over two months) you could swear you saw him smirk when the nickname brought a scowl to your face. 

He might've been worried, but he was also a little shit. 

“You really are going to let Arin ruin what you two have?” Your best friend was, of course, on your side. But she was your best friend for a reason and her love included pointing out when you were behaving like an infant at the age of seventeen and a half. 

“You two are practically dating and you're going to let the evil ex-girlfriend get in the way? Over something you weren't even supposed to hear in the first place? Come on.” 

Again, Wooyoung was a little shit. And you were so upset about everything that you shyness couldn't even help the fury behind your reply: 

“Stop saying that! We are not practically dating, he's in love with Arin and I'm not sure I even like him like that anymore!” Getting tired of everyone and their mother (your mother) feeding your delusions, you came to the conclusion that putting a stop to your friendship with Choi San was for the best. 

And, in doing so, you ended up breaking your own heart for the second time in your life. 

But he didn't put up an easy fight at all. You remember the feeling of pure joy when he grabbed your hand on the way to the cafeteria one day, pulling you so hard you almost ended up sitting in his lap, and the way his pleading eyes begged you to listen to him one last time. 

“Us not being friends doesn't feel right, Y/N…” he said and the word he used to categorize what both of you had hurted you, but you pushed the feeling away “Please, let's not fight anymore. I don't even know what happened, but I forgive you for yelling at me and I hope you forgive me for whatever it is you think I did.” 

Of course, you forgave him the next second without thinking too much about it. And for a while, everything went back to normal. You Skyped as usual and occasionally you let your other friends join the call even though it didn't really feel like it used to before. 

The next thing you knew, your feelings were in full bloom again and when you realized it, it was too late. 

Because by then, you had already let your childhood friend, Sunhee, join a few Skype calls and by the fourth one she invited her friend, Minseo, to them as well. 

Terrible, terrible mistake. Because even through the screen, you could see that Minseo looked a lot like Arin with the added bonus that she was down to earth and cool and liked the same things San liked.

You liked the same things San liked as well, but it never seemed to matter. 

Because not even two months after you decided to stop talking to San over a lie you weren't supposed to find out in the first place and then became friends one more time, he gets together with Minseo and you're sick to your stomach all over again. 

You hated her. Not because she was, suddenly, his girlfriend (not girlfriend girlfriend, but in a friends with benefits arrangement you never even knew why he agreed on in the first place) but because suddlenly she was so fucking obnoxious and didn't seem to like you either. 

Was it not painfully obvious San didn't have feelings for you? Why was she mad at you then? You literally brought them together! 

And all you got in return was her telling him she didn't feel comfortable with him having a girl best friend. That ungrateful bitch. 

He stopped calling. He stopped texting, he stopped carpooling with you and your mom after school and he stopped caring whether your math assignment was done or not. 

He stared pulling away more and more and it didn't matter how hard you tried to get him to talk to you, it seemed like he never really fucking cared about you in the first place. 

And by may that year, you didn't speak to San anymore. Granted, the only person he did speak to was Wooyoung, but even their friendship was falling apart. 

For the first time ever, San broke your heart firsthand. And it felt really, really fucking bad. 

You cried to your mom about it, she reminded you that you were nothing but a great friend to him and that, if he didn't take the time to appreciate that, that was his loss not yours. 

And she started hating him from that moment on. But you couldn't hate San, not even a little bit. 

Why would you hate him for not liking you back? For not loving you the way you loved hi— 

Your laptop closes down right in front of you and when you try to look up to find out who's responsible for interrupting your writing time, you get interrupted again. 

“Ouch! What the fuck, Gyuri?” the slap to the back of your head is quick and fill with rage. 

“What the fuck are you even writing. I can read from here, you know?” 

“I'm just laying my feelings down and— Ouch! Stop that!” You try to hit her back but she turns away quickly when your hands almost knock her coffee mug out of hers. 

“You can't possibly still have love for San, Y/N. It's been years.”

It's been four and a half, to be precise. But who's counting, right? 

“And why are you writing it in third person? You don't usually do that.” 

“I don't really know, Gyuri!” 

“I’m telling you, this celebratory dinner bullshit it's affecting you way more than it should,” she sighs, plopping down on the couch of your shared living room, and you leave your seat at the table to join her “He might not even show up. He has that thing with Kyungmi.” 

Kyungmi. 

You couldn't get to that part on your open document, but San left Minseo when he met Kyungmi at one of the frat parties they love to attend. Wooyoung told you that he said that it was love at first sight and you even met her briefly when you picked Gyuri up from the apartment he and San got when they started college together. 

She’s gorgeous and doesn't look like Arin or Minseo at all. It’s a different type of gorgeous. She's a year older than San and went to the same school as them and Gyuri. 

You think you might even like her better than him. 

You tried to be happy for San when you found out, but you two barely even speak a word to each other and you convinced yourself a while ago that you couldn't care less if he sees right through you and your fake smiles. 

You gathered, after everything happened, that San knew you liked him and took advantage of that. Unintentionally, but he did anyway. 

You sigh, resting your head on your best friend's shoulder. “It’s his best friend's celebratory dinner, though, he needs to be there.” 

Two seconds pass and then you both say it at the same time: “He’s in love.” 

And when San is in love, he has a one track mind with the name of his lover as the goal. 

You nod, but you can't help but to be insistent “It's Wooyoung's celebratory dinner, he needs to show up, right?” 

“I might not even show up, he's a pain in the ass.” She replies but you can tell her annoyance is not genuine and it makes you smile. 

Gyuri and Wooyoung broke up towards the end of your first year of college but you all stayed close friends. A one year relationship was not enough to fuck up the friendship they had and they decided to stay civil until, eventually, they became close friends again. 

To this day, you wonder why you and San couldn't rekindle your friendship when it became clear to you that you missed your friend and not the guy that you liked. 

Because San was always your friend first and your first love second. 

But it doesn't really matter anymore, because Gyuri is forcing you to shower and reminding you that you two need to keep Wooyoung on his best behavior tonight. 

“That girl he used to like before me is going, he said. I looked her up, she's single and he needs to get together with her because I can't take him whining about it anymore.” 

They keep things with each other way too civil, you think. 

“I'm telling you, if we don't show up he's going to do that thing where he gets drunk and makes a fool of himself. I can't have that, I'm on a mission.” 

“A mission to get your ex laid?” You ask, shampooing your hair. 

“A mission to get him a girlfriend so he can stop crying to me about feeling lonely.” 

“Maybe he wants you guys to—” The shower curtain opens and you see your best friend’s scowl before covering yourself up with your hands. 

“Gyuri!”

“Don't you dare say what you were about to say or I'm divorcing you.” 

You chuckle “Sure you are.”

You're left alone again with the water stream and she goes back to do her makeup “I told you back in ninth grade that we weren't a great fit and I was right. We can't get back together,” she sighs “It'll ruin everything.” 

“I doubt it will but you guys have been friends longer than you were boyfriend and girlfriend, so I'll just have to deal with my parents being divorced and civil.” 

“God, don't ever refer to us like that again— Oh! Speaking of parents,” you see her beam at her phone when you move the shower curtain to search for your towel and then she shows it to you “Mingi and Love just celebrated their one year anniversary!” 

Love being Mingi’s best friend. Gyuri talks to you about her college friend group all the time. The drama fuels your dinner conversations, you even follow a few of them on social media. 

“What does that have to do with parents?”

“They're the mom and dad of the group.” 

San is in that friend group, you can see him in the back of the picture and you recognize his apartment layout too. He's not the main focus of it but he's all you can see until you notice the couple sitting near him on the couch. 

The picture shows both of them, her in his lap and Mingi looking at her with stars in his eyes. 

Good for them. 

“Is that the girl he was friends with forever before they finally realized that they were in love?” 

“Yeah,” she sighs in contempt, looking down at the picture again “I was there the day it happened. I mean, not physically with them, but they left Yunho's party together and I told Wooyoung that it was finally about to happen!”

Gyuri is not a romantic person at all. Her excitement shows you that she really loves them and so you soften at the news that would usually give you and your dry love life a headache “It was the day before you called me to get you out of that awful date.” 

Ah, that also happened back then. You shudder at the memory.

“Tell them I say congrats, babe.” 

“I'm bringing you as my plus one.” 

You laugh, confused “To where?” 

“Their wedding, duh.” 

“They practically just got together,” you remind her, a year is not enough time to propose “And I don't really know them, Gyuri!” 

“They love you,” she assures you as you step out of the shower “I have been speaking about your antisocial ass for years. They can't wait to meet you.” 

“So you've been shit talking behind my back for years? Is that what I'm hearing?” 

She laughs “No, babe, that's Wooyoung's job.” 

Clearing your throat and looking at your friend through the mirror, you try to be as nonchalant as you can when you ask: “Has he… Did he tell you if…” 

“No, Y/N, I have no clue if San is going or not and Wooyoung is actually mad at him at the moment.” 

“Why?” 

She looks at you, sighing “He's been lacking as a friend lately.” 

“Hm.” 

“I hope you're not planning on swooning if you see him. Fuck him, Y/N.” 

“I know…” 

“And by fuck him I mean he doesn't deserve you or your forgiveness.” 

“He didn't do anything to me, Gyuri,” you remind her, shrugging “Not reciprocating my feelings is not a crime so I don't have to forgive him for anything.” 

You can practically feel her starting the San hate train engine, so you step out of the bathroom but her voice follows you. 

“And what about that time he ditched you for Minseo when you asked him to go with you to that medical appointment, huh?” 

“Cut it out, Gyuri…” 

But her head peaks around the corner, into the hall where you're rushing towards your room “Or that time when—” 

“Can't hear you!” Turning to look at her, she gives you an affectionate middle finger and heads back to the bathroom.

Closing the door, you lean into the thin wood and sigh, getting San’s face out of your mind so you can focus on getting ready and actually show up for Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. 

He just got a permanent position after completing his internship at a company that's your company's rival. He's going to crush you and steal clients from you but you are genuinely so happy for him. 

You should've guessed he enjoyed books as much as you did back in highschool. The debates he used to have with Gyuri were not all about flirting with her but also because he has a passion for books. 

And now he's going to work in the same field as you.

You're so proud of your friend. 

As you get ready, you remember the excitement cruising through your body when your boss trusted you enough to give you the first manuscript of a new client so you could edit it. You're sure Wooyoung is going to do better than you, taking into account that he actually went to college for this. 

You didn't. 

You met your boss at the part-time job you got in senior year, when you were trying to distract yourself from all the pain and the horrors of becoming a grown up. She was chatty, got a little too drunk on soju and told you she was starting her own book publishing company. 

When she returned months later after remembering that you told her you loved books and would love to work for as a publisher one day, she offered you a job in her company right after graduating highschool. 

You took it because you didn't think an opportunity like this would show up ever again. 

She was truly a blessing, the kind of person you never really believed in until she taught you all you needed to know about publishing and editing and encouraged you to take online classes during the nights so you could get, at least, a certification on what you do. 

You're proud of yourself too. The opportunity found you in a specific moment of your life where both your heart and your self esteem were destroyed and now you're not the person you used to be. 

Maybe that's why the possibility of facing San makes you so nervous. Collective memories are dangerous because the details never match the ones on the other person's head. 

You know who you were back then but… Are you the same person in San’s head? 

You don't even want to find out. 

Scanning your outfit in the mirror for the last time, you take the shoes you're wearing tonight out of your closet and walk over to the living room. 

Only to find Gyuri laying on the carpet under the coffee table, half dressed and on her phone. 

“You're going to mess up your hair.” 

“I don't care, I'm not going.” 

Sighing, you seat down on the couch and staring at the wood of the table covering her face. 

“What happened now?” 

“The bitch canceled!” 

“Wooyoung?” 

Poking her head out, she frowns at you “No, his first love.” 

“You were his first love.” 

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/N!” 

Laughing at her, you offer her your hand “Get dressed. Who cares if she's not going? He's not going to sulk because he's going to have you and his best friends there.” 

She whines like a child when you pull her up from the floor “I had a plan!” 

“Then make a new one, babe. We're going to be late.” 

She starts to whine again but then stops mid-groan to give you a once over. You shift uncomfortably on your feet, suddenly self-conscious about your appearance for the first time in years. 

“You look really hot…” she tells you and you fake gag at her words “Really pretty. Like a fairy and a smoke show at the same time.” 

You can't possibly look like that when you have such a simple outfit on, floor length high waist black pants and a flowy sleeve top that ties in the middle. It's barely formal but now you're thinking too hard about it. 

Blushing, you wave your hand to dismiss her compliment “Oh, my god. Go and change!” 

She rushes to her room on the opposite end of the hall and you finally breathe, looking down at your choice of fit and wondering if it's too much. 

Gyuri would've told you if that's the case, but either way it haunts your mind in the car on the way there, leg bouncing up and down under your best friend's judging gaze that only softens when you pout at her. 

“They are going to love you, babe. I'm so serious, they've been waiting years to meet you.” 

You nod because, yes, you're concerned that her friend group is not all as welcoming as she paints them to be. 

And you wish your doubts would go away but you're really, really not good at making friends. You're cautious, extremely closed off to new people and not as good with conversation no matter how much confidence you gained over the past years. 

When you walk to the loudest table at the laid back restaurant their friend Seonghwa made the reservation at, you think you won't be able to fit in with everyone else. You feel like an intruder, like Gyuri is supposed to enjoy this part of her life without you here. 

That's why you rejected every invitation they ever made. 

You celebrate birthdays with her, with Woo as well, but it's all very intimate and separate from their social circle, the one that includes the man you haven't fully faced in years. 

But you can't exactly back out now, not when one of them turns to you and seems to light up when they see you. 

“Oh? Is this her?” you recognize Hongjoong from pictures, he's the only one facing you when you approach the table, lowkey hiding behind Gyuri like a child. 

“Who?” 

“Huh?”

San is nowhere to be seen. Thank god. 

Slowly, everyone turns around and you see their faces light up with both delight and surprise. Your heart is pounding, you feel it in your throat, in your eyes, in the heat that colors your cheeks. 

But Gyuri just steps aside and presents you with a smile “This is her!” 

“Oh, Y/N!” Wooyoung gets up, rushing towards you and crashing into your frame with a crushing hug “I'm so glad you're here,” he murmurs into your hair and then turns to his friends, quiet them down “Everyone, this is Y/N, one of my best friends in the entire world.” 

He's such a dramatic human being.

You love him so much. 

Raising your hand, you shyly wave at them “Hi.” 

The entire table erupts with joy. Some of them greet you, some of them are saying that they are happy to be finally meeting you and Wooyoung grabs your arm and plops you down into the seat next to Gyuri, at the edge of the table. 

Laughing, you apologize for not meeting them sooner and then you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. 

Panic raising, you quickly turn around to see who it is before releasing a shuddering, but calmer, breath. 

“She's a very busy woman, guys. She works for the competition, my competition,” everyone gasps at that but Wooyoung is smiling at you “and she's very good at what she does. Which means she's busy, get off her case,” he puts a glass and a can of beer in front of you “Drink, babe.” 

“Thanks, babe.” You whisper back and he leans in to peck your head before going away. 

Gyuri groans “Stop stealing that from us! It's our thing, Y/N, don't indulge him.” 

“It's his celebratory dinner…” you argue with a laugh that Hongjoong and Mingi follow. 

“Yeah! Can you get off my case tonight, Gyuri?” 

She huffs, wrapping her arms around you “I hate you all.” 

“No you don't!” 

The table laughs and everyone returns to their individual conversations when Woo sits down on his spot. 

There's a few seats left, one besides Mingi and one right in front of you but you don't think too much about it because soon Gyuri gets up to ask Yeosang something and Seonghwa occupies her seat right beside you. 

You think he can sense that you're more shy than you let on, because he doesn't include you in whatever he and Yunho were talking about and waits until he stops talking to him to turn to you. 

“So, you work for a publishing company?” 

The question caughts you off guard and you swallow the beer quickly before nodding “Y-yeah, I… Yeah.” 

He chuckles “You're nervous.” 

“I'm just not as good at meeting people as Gyuri is. She usually does the job and I tag along.” 

“I feel like I know you already, though.” He says, leaning back on his chair. 

“Because she talks a lot about me?” he nods “Yeah, she tends to do that.” 

“Wooyoung also talks a lot about you, San too… Sometimes,” your cheeks heat up and he misinterprets what it means “All good things, I promise.” 

You doubt that. 

Your brain gives you a hundred and one possible things San could've said about you. 

For some reason, none of them are good. But you choose to believe the gorgeous, long haired guy in front of you. 

“Well that's good to hear,” you take another sip of your drink before smiling at him “I was sure Woo was trash talking about me.” 

He shakes his head with a smile “He wouldn't dare, he has Gyuri on his ass all the time and I'm sure she would kill him.” 

“I'm sure she would kill him even if he didn't do it.” 

His smile grows wider “That's true,” he says, looking over at them who are, very coincidentally, fighting about something. You let out a sigh and he laughs again before clearing his throat “So, the publishing company. What kind of books do you like to edit the most?” 

Your smile grows wider too. 

For the next hour, you talk to Seonghwa about your job and how you started in it. He asks you about your classes and the challenges that you face on a daily basis and Wooyoung overhears and ends up joining the conversation as well.

You don't even hear footsteps nearing until a voice cuts everyone off. 

“I'm sorry I'm late!” 

“Baby!” Mingi gets up from his seat, but no one else does so he's stuck between the table and his girlfriend. 

“Oh, that's Love, huh?” you ask Seonghwa, Wooyoung too entertained messing with the couple to hear you anyways. 

“Yeah… Is that how Gyuri refers to her?” He frowns.

“Mhm,” you answer, leaning into him like you're about to tell him an important secret “I'm not supposed to call her that, don't tell her.” 

Seonghwa leans in too, pretending to zip his mouth shut and you laugh. 

The girl wiggles her way into the seat reserved for her and everyone lets out a groan when they smooch each other. You can only giggle and the sound draws her attention to you “Y/N?” 

You quickly nod “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you! Finally, I thought Wooyoung and Gyuri had an imaginary friend,” you laugh, shrugging at the joke “Love your outfit, by the way, are those— Oh, San, hi— Are those jellyfish?” 

You want to answer. You truly do, the yes right at the tip of your tongue, but words leave you when you turn your head around and find San already looking at you with wide eyes.

He looks great, he's a bit more muscular than what the pictures show and than the last time that you saw him, his arms hugging the fabric of the dress shirt he's wearing like it was tailored for him and everything. 

How dare he. 

You wonder if his heart is beating as loud as yours is right now. If he's surprised, disappointed or happy to see you at all. 

“Her favorite animal.” He answers for you “Hi, Y/N.” 

“Hi…” you whisper back and it feels like you're in a trance. He doesn't look away but the table quieting down once again snaps you out of it and you turn to the girl with a wide smile that you hope conceals whatever the fuck you're feeling at the moment “I love jellyfishes. Had a phase as a child when I would exclusively talk about them, too,” you chuckle, nervously, reaching for your earrings instinctively “Gyuri gave them to me as a present last Christmas.” 

You definitely overshared just now. From the corner of your eye you catch your best friend getting ready to step in if needed. 

Love looks at you, then at San (who's just standing next to you without uttering a word) and then back at you again, smiling like she just figured something out “Well, I love them.” 

“Thanks…” 

Coughing unnecessarily loud, Wooyoung gets up from his seat “You're late.” 

It takes a second but San tears his gaze away from you to look at his best friend and you take the opportunity to chug down the rest of your beer “Sorry, something came up.” 

Seonghwa turns at that and looks at him as well “You good?” 

“I am. Did you guys already eat? I'm starving.” 

“Nope. We're about to order. Let me get you a drink, come here.” And just like that, he disappears from your view and you almost sigh in relief. 

“Are you good?” Seonghwa asks you next and you reckon he's very observant. But then again, you're not the most gracious human being when you're in San’s presence, so, you figure everyone else noticed your change of mood as well. 

“Yeah, I just… I haven't seen him in a while and I didn't think he was coming. I was surprised, that's all.” 

“I can see that,” his eyes move around your face for some reason, frowning a little bit but then he seems to let it go, getting the menu closer to you “Okay, good, um… I actually made the reservation here because they have the best samgyeopsal in town.”  

“Do they?” 

“Mhm, so…” 

He helps you pick your food and when it's time to order, he moves back to his seat. Gyuri asks you with her eyes if you're okay, you nod and grab her hand under the table with a tiny smile and then everyone is moving around to make space for San and Woo once they return. 

He doesn't sit in front of you. 

Relief floods you and you can finally feel your muscles relax as he is so far away, at the other end of the table and in the same row of seats, so you don't really see him unless you really try. 

Which you don't, so your food goes down easy and the rest of the night as well.

Until everyone but you and Seonghwa move around their seats and he ends up right in your point of view as you do your best to ignore him and focus on his friend. 

Seonghwa asks you about your hobbies, you tell him that you love to write movie essays on websites no one even cares to read and he asks you to show it to him so he can look it up when he gets home.

“And you've always done this? Since highschool?” 

You nod and he beams “I read like the first three lines and it looks really good, Y/N. Is that why you love books so much? Because you're a writer?” 

“I wouldn't consider myself a writer but… Sure, I love to write.” 

“Did you know this?” he turns to San and your smile drops a little. 

“Know what?” 

“Your friend is an excellent writer.” 

“Oh, I know. She, uh… Used to write stories on her notebook instead of paying attention in math class,” he sips on his drink and at the detail you didn't know he knew, you turn to him fully “I used to read over her shoulder sometimes.” 

“She's really good.” Seonghwa is looking at your phone, still reading “Really smart, too.” 

San’s jaw tenses a little and you can't understand why “I know.” He says again. 

His friend is none the wiser, blocking your phone and returning it to you “I like it,” he says, smiling and you blush “The essay.” He clarifies after a second, prompting a laugh out of you that he joins. 

San doesn't laugh, but you don't pay attention to him because Seonghwa is asking you something else. 

When it's time to leave the restaurant, Wooyoung suggests going back to his apartment to milk the get-together as much as you all can.

You all throw your napkins at him in feign disgust at the choice of words but you all accept his proposal either way. 

So now you're sitting on the couch, legs crossed and head on Gyuri’s shoulder while you listen to all of them talk (more like argue) about something that happened at their university last week, their voices drowning the soft music playing out of the tiny speaker resting on the counter. 

San is on the floor, to your right. It's hard to keep your eyes off him when you feel him looking at you when you close your eyes and let the noise fade into the background. It's not like you're able to add something to the conversation anyway and Gyuri seems to be drinking her sorrows (not being able to hook Woo up with the girl she told you about) away. 

Your best friend is slurring her words already, drink in hand and index finger pointing at Jongho accusatively because, apparently, the fight they're talking about was his fault. 

“You don't—” she hiccups “You don't even know why it was your fault and it pisses me off even more, you know?” 

“Okay, let me take that.” Taking the drink from her hand and before she starts complaining you stand up to make your way into the kitchen. 

The sink is full and a mess, so you pour the liquid into it and leave the glass sitting right beside it. Distracted by the dilemma of helping Woo out with the dishes or not, you don't notice someone else also entering the space.

That's why you jump a little when you turn and catch Seonghwa leaning on the wall by the entrance. It startles you enough to laugh the nerves out afterwards and he shakes his head, smiling. 

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. They're boring me to death with the fight story.” 

You nod, realizing that maybe that's because he doesn't attend the university anymore. He told you he graduated last year “They're too drunk to let it go.” 

“Too drunk to dance to this amazing song, too. Who's playlist is that?” he frowns and you rest your back into the sink, rolling your eyes because he's pretending he doesn't know “Oh! Right, it's mine.” 

“And they just don't know how to appreciate it, huh?” he shrugs and you click your tongue “They're such bad friends, Seonghwa, I truly don't know why you keep them around.” 

“You appreciate it,” it's your turn to frown and he leaves his spot at the wall to walk towards you “You were singing along to it,” he explains and you let out an ah, nodding as he extends his palm to you, clearly inviting you to dance. 

“Oh, I don't… I don't really know how to—” 

“I'll show you.” 

His kind eyes are asking you to trust him. You really, really shouldn't. 

No matter how hard you try to bury the hopeless romantic little girl who decided to have a crush on a guy back in ninth grade, she's still there, begging you to let loose and live a little. 

When you grab Seonghwa’s hand, you think the smile he gives you was worth listening to her. 

You can't even tell the song that's softly playing anymore, a mellow r&b melody reaches your ear but you are not listening. You're focused on him, on the way he spins you around even if it doesn't fit the bit, on the way he laughs softly against your ear when he pulls you close by your hand and then pulls away just as quickly. 

Laughing as well, the spell of this beautiful stranger (because you remind yourself you don't really know him that well) is hard to break. 

Until it does. 

Someone clearing their throat behind you stops you and Seonghwa's feet from moving any further. When the tall, older guy turns you around, you're face to face with San and his scowl. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to get started on the dishes. Everyone else is heading out too,” he looks behind you, at the man who's still standing close to you and grabbing your hand “In case you want to ask Mingi for a ride.” 

“They finally stopped fighting!” he fakes excitement, finally letting go of your hand and walking in front of you, blocking San with his body. You chuckle, barely clapping your hands to join the pretense as he's pulling up his phone “Can I ask for your number, Y/N?” 

Blinking a few times, you're not sure if your heart speeds up because he's asking or because you hear San sigh exasperated behind him “S-sure.” 

When you put your information on his phone, he bids you goodbye with a pat on your head and hugs San on his way out the kitchen. 

Now that you two are alone, you suddenly want to run and join Seonghwa. You were doing so, so well. 

Avoiding San like the plague it's much easier when you're safe hiding behind your two best friends. 

Ignoring his stare would be much easier if you weren't stuck into place. 

“I—” 

“You—” 

You both speak over each other and you force out an uncomfortable laugh that he doesn't return. Instead, he motions you to go first while he occupies the space in front of the sink, turning the faucet on. In doing so, he has to grab your waist and move you out of the way which makes you short circuit for a second “I was going to help you with that.” You finally stammer out. 

He lets out what you take as an annoyed chuckle. 

“You seemed busy, I don't know how you would've done it.” 

Ouch. 

Why do you allow his words to cut so deep when you stopped caring about what he does a long time ago? 

The band aid rips, the stitches come undone and all it took him were five seconds to melt your resolve away like it was never there in the first place. 

“I'll… I go get Gyuri so we can leave Woo and you to get to it, then.” 

“Bathroom.” You hear him mutter under his breath as you are taking the final step to leave. 

“Huh?” 

“She's in the bathroom, probably puking her breakfast out,” he looks up at you to give you a tiny smile “You left her alone with Jongho and Woo for five minutes so she got ahold of another drink.” 

“God damnit.” 

Rushing out, you run into everyone else at the door and Mingi has to let go of his very intoxicated girlfriend when she reaches you to give you a hug “Don't be a stranger, Y/N! It was lovely to be around you, hm?” 

The sudden physical contact almost makes you gasp but you cover it up with a shy giggle “O-oh. Yeah, um, lovely to meet you too. All of you.” 

“Sorry about that,” her boyfriend grabs her arms and breaks the hug “She's right, though. Don't be a stranger.” 

You nod once, smiling a little more sincerely now and everyone says bye to you, including Seonghwa, who grabs your hand one last time and gives it a squeeze before closing the front door of the apartment. 

You think you feel your heart skip a tiny bit under all the shit San’s words pulled up to the surface a minute ago. But there's no time to dwell in that: you hear Gyuri opening up the bathroom door before gagging and closing it again with a slam. 

Jesus Christ. 

You two are really getting old. You stopped drinking like an hour ago, when you were starting to feel tipsy after your second beer, and you know she didn't drink as much as she used to maybe four years ago, but the visage that welcomes you when you open the door and find her crouched down in front of the toilet certainly brings back memories of those times. 

“I left you alone for like… five minutes.” Sighing, you lean in to hold her flimsy ponytail and pat her back. 

“I'm good,” she gags again and then holds up her hand to stop you from saying anything else “I'm fine.” 

Smiling, you help her up and she grabs the counter as she's washing away the taste of whatever she ate earlier today and alcohol “Me when I lie…”

“Y/N!” she hits your arm but the movement somehow almost makes her trip. 

“You want to lay down?” 

“Is she okay?” Woo’s head peaks into the bathroom and when he sees his ex, he makes a face. 

“Does she look like she's okay?” you help her out of the bathroom and start heading for Wooyoung's room. 

“Wow, wow— Where do you think you're taking her?” 

“To your room, dumbass!”

“Why mine? San's is literally right there.” He whines, pointing at the door you pass by without a second thought. You don't want to know where his room is or what it looks like at all. 

“Yeah, well, did San get her this drunk?” 

“How was I supposed to know that she was at her almost black-out phase? She never drinks that much in front of me!” he complains again but you're already tugging Gyuri in, who mumbles something incoherent and then flips Wooyoung off “Na Gyuri if you puke on my bed I swear to God!” 

If you didn't know Wooyoung so much, the whining and the attitude would probably make you think he didn't care for her at all. But he's brushing her hair out of her forehead, securing the blanket around her and moving to take her socks off when you reach the door. 

“I'm guessing you're okay with her staying the night?” 

“Of course you guys can stay the night, Y/N.” He says and he stumbles a little to get to you, so you smile and shake your head, about to let him know that you're not staying anywhere near his roommate when he continues “You can come over whenever you like. You know that, right?” 

“I know, Woo.” 

“I barely even see you these days, I… Oh! I forgot!” he points to the end of the hall, towards the kitchen “You guys don't really like each other so maybe don't come over when he's here because I don't want to see you sad!” 

“Lower your voice,” you whisper to him, bringing a hand to his face and patting his cheek a few times to wake him up “Did the alcohol suddenly hit you or something?” you sigh for the umpteenth time “Anyways, you should lay down and I'll get going. I'll come pick her up tomorrow and—” 

“That's such a great idea! Oh, I'm a genius.” 

“You didn't come up with it, Wooyoung.”

“San!” he calls all of the sudden and you wish he was sober enough to read the panic on your features. He seems much, much sober when his best friend starts walking down the hall and stops right beside you “Take Y/N home, please, she's going to give you a bag that you must protect with your life.” 

Said best friend looks at you, his eyebrow arched in a silent question “Gyuri’s stuff.” 

“Ah.”

“Go, go. It's getting late, I'll just… I'll cuddle with my ex until you get home.” 

And she has the nerve to say he doesn't want her back. 

When the door to Wooyoung's room closes and you're left with San on the poorly lit hallway, you make a mental note to never step foot on this place or allow your friends to drink ever again. 

You don't even look at the guy before practically running down the hallway and reaching for your bag. You make sure your phone is secured in your pocket as you slip your shoes on and soon you're grabbing the front door knob and twisting it. 

Keys jingle next to you but, again, you don't spare San a glance. 

“So—” 

“I'll get out of your hair, you don't have to… walk me home or whatever he said.” 

“Y/N, it's late.” 

Turning to him, your smile is as fake as the ones you've been giving him the past couple of years “And I'm a grown up, San, I can walk myself home.” 

“What about Gyuri’s stuff?” 

“She can wear Wooyoung's clothes, it's not like they never shared before. Anyway… Thank you for having me, it was nice to see you. Goodnight.” Your response comes out fast and it sounds as planned out as it actually is, kinda robotic and devoid of actual emotion. 

San can't see through you the way you see through him. It's okay, he won't mind it. 

He probably won't mind that you close his own door on his face either. 

If that door is what you hear when you're making your way down the stairs in order to make a fast escape, you choose to ignore it. 

You have to stop mid-way to compose yourself. You don't know why you feel like crying or why your heart is beating so fast. 

You knew going in that there was a possibility of seeing him tonight. You know how San affects you, so effortless and seemingly like no time has passed at all in between senior year and present day. 

You know all of this already, it's an endless loop that will keep repeating until you either move away or decide to stop agreeing to Wooyoung's plans all together. 

So why is your chest heaving with emotion? Why is nostalgia playing mind tricks with you? Why do you want to turn back and hug him and beg him to turn back time so you can do it all differently now that you know how to look like and what to say to make him love you back? 

Ah, you're definitely not sleeping tonight. So you start distracting yourself while walking down the stairs again. You remind yourself to tell a much sober Wooyoung how proud you are of him. You think about Seonghwa, about his kind eyes and the way he grabbed your hand to dance with him just half an hour ago. You wonder how long it will take you to get home if you jog all the way there. You—

Why the fuck is San outside when you get there? 

In a comedic way, you can see your attempt to distract your mind off of him slipping through your fingers and evaporating in the warm summer night breeze. 

In a realistic way, you're fucking pissed at him for taking the opportunity of a good night sleep away from you. 

You pass him and start jogging like you planned a minute ago. Footsteps follow you until his arm brushes yours and you take a step to the side to stop it from happening again. 

“Go home, Choi San.” 

“Stop fighting it, Y/N. I'm walking you home.” 

“It's a twenty minute walk—” 

“Drop it.” 

You do. And for the first ten minutes, no one utters a word even if the tension feels electric and the street is so quiet so you can hear when his breath accelerates when he jogs to catch up to you whenever you try to leave him behind. 

Isn't that ironic. He was the one who left you behind all those years ago. 

“I didn't know that you danced.” 

He breaks the uncomfortable but safe silence to say that? 

“Well, you saw me dance so I clearly dance when I want to.” 

“You never danced with me.” 

“You never asked me to.” 

He laughs “I'm pretty sure I did on several occasions, Y/N.” 

“Well, you're wrong,” you're getting annoyed. How dare he think he remembers better than you? “It doesn't matter anyway, what's past is past and—” 

“You also gave Hwa your number,” he interrupts, his long legs taking two strides to get in front of you, still walking, facing your direction with his hands on his pockets. 

It's dangerous and stupid, even if the streets are practically empty and the sidewalk barely has any bumps. 

You hope he falls on his pretty face.

“I did.* 

“I don't have your number.” 

“Well, I changed it and you never asked for it, so…” 

“You could've called me or texted me to let me know you did it.” 

He's getting on your nerves.

“San,” you start, taking in a deep breath you hope calms you down “We don't even text anymore, why would you want my number?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“Seonghwa?” you ask, frowning and he nods “Like… As a person?” 

“As a potential love interest.” He clarifies matter-of-factly and you roll your eyes. 

“I met him today, San. Why do you want my number?” 

“Because we're friends?” he offers after a second, shifting so he's walking by your side again. 

“Are we?” you ask, laughing bitterly at that “Because we haven't spoken a word to each other in years.” 

“That's not true.” 

“It is, San.” 

“You… You don't speak to me anymore, so…” 

“Well your girlfriend at the time told me she didn't feel comfortable with me speaking to you anymore,” you sigh “so I didn't and you didn't try to talk to me either.” 

“Well, I want to talk to you now.” 

“And is your new girlfriend aware of that? Is she comfortable with that? Because I don't want anyone telling me what to do anymore and—” 

“Why wouldn't she be comfortable? We're friends, Y/N.” 

“Are we?” you insist, petty, bitter and overall very, very hurt. 

He looks offended at that “I assumed we were?” 

He's getting on your fucking nerves. 

“We stopped being friends the second Minseo asked me to stay away from you because she didn't like me, San.” 

“She’s not in my life anymore—” 

The words are coming out of your mouth without even thinking it through. His demeanor, the way he's somehow reproaching you for whatever he saw between you and his friend, the way he pretends nothing happened between you and him, thinking that you two are still friends. 

“We stopped being friends when you pulled away from me, saw me do the same and did nothing to stop it from happening, San.” 

He stops in his tracks at that. You don't, pushing forward and quickening your step even if your calves burn. 

“Either way,” you speak up “Make sure you tell your girlfriend about wanting my number and then you can ask Seonghwa for it if you want—” 

“She's not my girlfriend anymore!” 

Now that stops you, just a few buildings down from yours, you turn around just to find San closer that you thought he'll be.

“O-oh. I… I didn't know that. I'm sorry.” 

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” 

“Still, it must suck so I'm sorry you're going through that.” 

“We didn't want the same things and so we ended it. It is what it is.” 

You nod. 

He walks the few steps separating you and you have to raise your chin a little to look him in the eye for the first time since you left his apartment “I wanted to tell you.” 

“That you broke up with your girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, I don't know why. It happened when I broke up with Minseo too, I just… You're the first person that I thought of calling when it happened. I texted you, too, but the messages didn't go through.” 

You hum at that. 

Why would he even say that? 

You resume your step, not really knowing what to say until you reach the stairs that lead to your building’s entrance. 

“And you didn't ask Woo for my number?” 

He follows you up. 

“I don't think he would've given it to me if I asked.” 

That sounds like an excuse, so you don't let it slide as you enter the code to your building and let yourself inside, San holding the door so he can get in as well “Why would he do that?” 

“Because he…” San sighs, pressing the elevator button “Nevermind. He just wouldn't.”

Frowning, you turn to him “No, now you have to tell me.” 

“It doesn't matter, really—” 

“Tell me, San.” 

He stares for a second and then looks away, like a child, vulnerable and you can't help but soften at that “He didn't like the way I treated you.” 

Eating your words from before, you shake your head “You didn't treat me like anything.” 

The elevator dings and you get inside. 

San follows you. 

“Exactly,” he says, resting his shoulder on the metal “Like you said I just did nothing and—” 

“Well, sometimes that's just what happens,” you want to end this. You want to pack Gyuri’s bag, give it to him and never see him again. 

This conversation hurts, it reopens barely closed wounds and it creates new ones you don't really need when it comes to whatever happened between you two. 

There's only so much a person can handle and it really doesn't help that you're a fool for San. He takes advantage of it, of the fact you can't really push him away at this point and the fact that he wants to have this conversation now instead of four and half years ago? 

Mean. 

He's mean. He's evil. He's… He's staring at you with a spark in his eyes that you recognize too well. 

Hope. 

When you get to your floor, you try to wipe the image away while busying yourself with your keys. Your hands tremble a little but you're able to open the door of your apartment and get in without inviting him. 

He gets in anyway. You take off your shoes as he closes the front door. 

He stays silent as he follows you around the apartment and you don't worry about turning the lights on. You get into Gyuri’s room and start picking out a comfy hangover outfit for your friend. Some clean underwear, sweatpants, two shirts and socks. 

When you drop to the floor, in front of the closet, to look for a bag to stash all of it in, San silently clutches beside you. 

“It shouldn't have happened to us. Never us.” 

You can't take it anymore. 

“San, what is this? What are you doing? I mean, why are we—” 

“I know.” 

“It's been years…”  

“I miss you.” 

He's so mean. But the softness in his tone resembles the one he used all the way back in highschool, when he told you that not being friends with you didn't feel right and you want to cave in right there and then. 

Your heart screams at you to do it, your reason warns you that you both have been through this before and it never ends right. 

You simply can't stay friends with Choi San. 

Your love for him must run too deep, your resentment claws at it and tries to hurt it but it's an immovable force that won't budge even if you try to bury it under the years that have passed, the things he has done. 

Tears gather in your eyes and you try to blink them away as you stare at your best friend's clothes on your lap and try to come up with something to close this path up again, reconstruct the picket fence you built around it the second he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Yeah,” you whisper back, letting the walls fall a little “I miss you too but I don't think I miss whatever version of you you are right now, San.” 

“W-what?”

His shaky voice makes the walls crumble and crash. 

Turning to him, your hand shakes as you place it on top of his “And you don't miss the version of me I am right now. You miss what I was back then, the comfort and the shoulder to cry on I offered you when Arin and you broke up. You miss my availability and the way I didn't press my feelings on you because it didn't matter if I liked you or not, you were my friend first and the guy that I had a crush second but—” you choke up, tears falling down your cheeks even if you don't want them to “I can't do it anymore. I'm not that girl anymore and I won't be there for you now that you and Kyungmi broke up because I can't handle it. I can't, I'm sorry.” 

He doesn't deny any of it.

He stares at you, tears wetting his cheeks as well and it hurts even more this way. You wish you had the strength to hold it together, to treat him like you did on the street a few minutes ago, but you can't. 

There's no way you could ever hate him like you want to. 

“You know…” he starts in a whisper, letting out a humorless chuckle “That's what I used to tell myself too.” 

“Hm?” 

“That you were my friend first and the girl that I had a crush on second.” 

How dare he mutter the words you always wanted to hear, the ones you picture being said in a different setting, the ones that haunted your every waking thought that period of time you doubted your friends, your mom, yourself for even believing Choi San could ever have a crush on you. 

He doesn't get to say them. You want to tell him but the words die on your throat and form a lump that you can't swallow down. 

You don't get to say that. You don't get to say that. 

Your hand drops from his and you look away again only to grab the first bag you find on the closet floor and shove Gyuri’s stuff in it. 

If the lack of response it's what prompts the hurt in his voice the next time he speaks, you don't want to think about it. 

“I wish I didn't. Now it's too late to do something about it, huh?” 

This time the rage comes back with a mask on. Feing settlement for all the what if’s covers you like a blanket on a really hot summer night: unwanted, unnecessary. 

But you can't sleep without it, so you do nothing to push it away. 

“I guess it is.” 

You get up from the floor, leaving the room and wiping your face with bitterness coating your movements as you wait by the door for him to get out. 

When he does and he steps in front of you, you extend the bag and he takes it without missing a beat. 

Voice robotic and words premeditated, you open the front door for him “Thanks for walking me home and taking this back.” 

He leans a little into your space and you don't move away. But just as he did in highschool, he takes in your hitched breath and does nothing more.

“Thanks for letting me talk to you.” 

He didn't give you much of a choice there but it's okay. This is closure, this is the end of your story with Choi San and you convince yourself you're glad that it is. 

“Sure,” you whisper back and he steps outside, turning around to watch you slowly close the door “goodnight, San.” 

He doesn't say it back. 

When the darkness of your apartment engulfs you, that's when you let yourself breakdown. Covering your mouth with your palm, you descend until your knees are against the wood on the floor and closing your eyes you make it a point to let it all out. 

You'll let it all out, drink some water, text Wooyoung and Gyuri to let them know you're safe and go to bed. 

And tomorrow you'll begin your day with the freedom of finally knowing what would've happened if you or San ever took the next step. 

This is fine. This is moving on. This is— 

The doorbell rings. 

Opening the door again, you crease your eyebrows in a silent question that San doesn't care to answer, so you look around the floor in case he forgot something you're missing. You wipe your cheeks and under your eyes as you turn to him again “Did you—” 

Time slows down when he makes it past the threshold and you can't move an inch, gaping at who you once thought was the love of your life “What are you doing, San?” 

“Something about it.” 

“What?” 

“Forgive me,” he asks, breathless and in a murmur, fueling your confusion. And then he's closing the distance, dropping Gyuri’s bag and cupping your face so gently that it hurts “but I'm doing something about it.” 

You stopped dreaming about the possibility of San kissing you that one time you two were on your bed and, another time, you told yourself that, if it ever happened, you wouldn't kiss him back. 

It's too late to kiss him back. 

But sparks fly when he crushes you against the wall and takes in a breath before slothing his mouth against yours like he's been waiting to do this every single day for the past nine years you've known each other. 

There's nothing you can do to conceal the way yearning takes over you, pours out of you, making you breathe into his open mouth and kiss him back like you always wanted to. 

You already know it is a mistake by the time you grab his shirt to keep him in place but does it really matter when this is all you ever wanted? 

Feeling warmth leave your face, you notice the way he desperately crowds your space as his chest bumps into yours, leg claiming its place in between yours, the palm that leaves you pressing against the wall, next to your head. 

The kiss is filled with emotion, with longing and desire and it steals the air out of your lungs tragically and beautifully at the same time. Before, you used to dream about his lips making everything feel right, making you fit in in a world you didn't feel like you belonged to. 

But this kiss drops you into uncharted territory, drags you into the depths of something that should be buried by now, after all this time. It brings the flame back to life and it's dangerous. 

The fact that it feels this way, both marvelous and catastrophic at the same time, makes you so sad. 

Sorrow descends down your face until your mouth is picking it up and your tongue is mixing it with whatever emotion is cruising through San right now. 

You have to know. 

He spent your entire youth and early adulthood keeping it to himself, knowing when to show his true colors and when to hide them, choosing who to do it with and you realize the San that lives in your head is nothing but a figment of what you wanted him to be. 

Because him holding to your waist like it's his only lifeline doesn't fit the San you remember, him telling you he liked you back then doesn't fit the guy who was just your best friend. 

You need to know. 

“San,” brokenly, you speak into his mouth and he pulls away just enough to see your face. Your eyes remain closed, your chest heaving and your lips trembling “Why are you doing this?” 

“Because I want you, Y/N.” 

You push him away, weakly, almost like you don't really mean it because deep down you don't but he steps away like you're asking to. 

Because, of course, your mind scraps the bottom of your resentment to give his words a completely new meaning. 

“You can find another girl to fuck and be your rebound, San,” more tears spill down and you wipe them away in anger but more threat to fall down so you cover your face with your hands and groan, desperate “I can't do this, especially not when I know that you know how bad I wanted you. Y-you know what you do to me San so stop—”

“I want you in my life. I don't— What? I don't want you like a rebound, I… Can we sit down and turn on a light so I can look at you when I say this?” 

His words should be reassuring but they're not, the way you tend to feel unlovable around him coming up to the surface, preventing you from thinking clearly. 

You can also feel his lips on yours still. It's dizzying but you manage to push yourself off the wall and pad around until you hit the switch of the warm light lamp near the couch and the apartment comes to life just like that. 

He takes in the space he's never seen before, walking slowly towards the living room and looking over the bookshelf that screams your name all over it. He smiles a bit as he looks over the book titles and you look away before your heart starts acting up again. 

You can't stay mad at him for long if he's looking through something so personal to you and smiling that fondly at it. It feels even more intimate than the kiss you two just shared. 

Wiping your cheeks once more, you are sure you look a mess but he doesn't seem to mind it once he comes into your point of view, sitting down on the couch, in front of your standing form. He grabs you by your hands until you're sitting next to him, close to him, cologne intoxicating your senses. 

“I told you I liked you when we were in highschool, right?” 

You nod. 

“You seemed surprised but it was dark so I'm not really sure. I thought you knew, everyone knew.” 

Oh, he's a comedian. 

“How would I have known, San? I… Yeri told me you liked me one time, in senior year, but I denied it. Then, my mom told me you seemed to want me in a non-platonic way and I dismissed her as well,” you take in a deep, shaky breath “For me, the thought of you liking me just didn't make sense. You loved Arin and she's… She doesn't look or act like I did back then at all, so how would I have known?” 

You didn't need clues and puzzles and what if’s, you needed words and actions that weren't confusing. You needed him to tell you back then, because telling you right now and kissing you senseless after he broke up with a girl he supposedly was very in love with means nothing but pain. 

“I didn't realize you liked me too,” you make a face, about to tell him off, but he interrupts “I didn't! I thought you liked Yeri and I thought you saw me as the annoying guy who wouldn't leave you alone. I only just realized it a couple years ago, because Woo told me.” 

You raise your eyebrows and mutter under your breath “I'm murdering him tomorrow.” 

The corner of his lips twitch before he shakes his head in dismissal of what you said “I liked you. I really, really liked you and never told a soul because… Well, it's scary when you fall in love, right?” 

“San, you had no problem telling Arin, Minseo or Kyungmi that you liked them.” 

He looks down to the floor, lost in thought and you want to open your mouth to take what you just said into a new direction, but you don't “Maybe that's because I didn't love them the way I love you.” 

Oh. 

Love you? As in… He loves you right now too? 

No way. 

“You didn't love me, San. You don't love me right now either, you… Maybe we both were in love with the idea of love? Maybe that's what happened and—” 

“Quit telling me what I'm feeling, Y/N. You always do that, you always assume you know what I'm feeling but you don't!” 

Raising your voice a little more, you try to get your point across in the worst way possible: by being stubborn “You don't know me! How can you possibly—” 

“I knew you back then, Y/N! And I loved you back then, too!” He looks like wants to say something more but he doesn't, instead, he takes a calming breath and then leans into your space for the third time tonight “And I might not know you now but I want to. That's what I meant when I said that I want you. I want you in my life, I want to know the person you became when we stopped talking, I want to talk to you every single day and I want to hold you and kiss you and be by your side however you want me to, I just… I can't lose you again.” 

His confession renders you speechless and you notice his chest is heaving, going up and down in sync with yours. 

But the way he pulled away from you senior year still hurts, it paints a picture of what's going to happen if you accept this. 

You can't believe his words. 

He must feel lonely and confused, like he did when Arin broke up with him. He must be looking for a shelter you can't provide. 

“And when you find another girl that's more to your liking? What then, San?” 

“There's no one that I love more than you, Y/N and I'm sorry I was shit at proving it back then and I'm sorry that it took so many years for me to come to my senses.” 

He's tearing up and your heart pangs absurdly loud at that. 

“I saw you with Seonghwa earlier today, laughing and dancing and flirting and I thought: Oh, maybe if I didn't waste that much time pretending I'm someone I'm not, that would be me.” 

You stare for a second, you watch a single tear drop down his cheek and then look away. 

“Is that what you were doing? Is that why you pulled away?” 

“Maybe?” he offers and you turn to him again. Is not enough and maybe he can see it in your expression, because he goes on “I mean, I… I thought I wanted Arin. I thought I wanted Minseo. I had people in my life who were really happy to see me with them and I just…” 

“Wanted to keep them happy,” you nod, understanding. He doesn't have to say his mothers name for you to know he's referring to her and maybe his other highschool friends outside of Wooyoung “Were you pretending with me as well?” 

“No,” he answers right away “You and Woo were the only ones who saw me for who I really was back then.” 

“And why do you think you love me now, San?” you ask, deflating against the couch and ignoring the way your heart soars at his quick response.

“Because I never stopped,” he stammers out and then clears his throat “Because I looked for you in Minseo and Kyungmi and I wondered for years why they couldn't make me feel the same way. And I told myself I didn't need to feel the same way and that I deserved to wonder for the rest of my days but seeing you tonight? I can't.” 

Straightening your spine, the pained look you sent in his direction is not intentional but it prompts him to lean closer and closer until he's cupping your cheek again. 

“I can't keep wondering.” His voice is a sweet whisper, a siren song that draws you in until your forehead is resting against his. 

All these years, you were so self-focused on changing to a better version of who he used to know, learning from your mistakes and closing off to the opportunity of letting him prove himself a better man, you forgot that time passed for him too. He’s telling you he changed, too. 

Imagination is a safe space. Is where you hide, where desire can take its wings and fly high without hurting you too much. Make belief has rescued you before but this? The way his nose nuzzles softly into yours and your breaths tangle? This is very real. And reality is prone to hurt you. 

But the want you feel is undeniable. The way your entire being wants to cave in and give him an opportunity is suffocating, it makes you choke out a sob that he follows with one of his own. 

You kiss him, softly at the beginning, but his hands on you tighten and you let yourself get lost in the way they go down your neck and your arms, caressing you softly until they reach your waist and pull you into his lap. 

Pulling away, you grab his chin with two fingers and force his teary eyes to snap open, searching for an answer on yours.

“If you hurt me,” you start, breathless “If you're mocking me, if you're using me to get over Kyungmi, if you are pulling me back in to break my heart again, Choi San, I swear to God I will kill you.” 

“I won't do that to you ever again, Y/N,” he returns softly “I love you, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you but I love you.” 

Others would argue that it is pathetic how quickly you forgive him. But then again, you could never be mad at San. 

You were only mad at yourself for how everything turned out. 

“I love you too, Sannie.” 

Saying something never felt so freeing before. 

“Oh, Y/N…” you can see the way relief washes his worries away “Y/N…” he starts to say but then leans in to kiss you again and never finishes his words. 

You don't mind it. 

Pouring out all the pent up affection you pretended to bury for years, you explore his mouth and carve into your memory the way he feels. The way he sighs into it when your tongue brushes his, the way he pulls you in closer when your fingers reach the nape of his neck and pull on his hair there, hands splayed on your back so he can keep you in place as he leans down and places you against the worn out couch. 

He maps you out, hands going down your waist in a familiar feeling that brings back that memory of you two laying down on your bed. Only this time, he's actually touching you with a purpose. This time, you two have made up your minds and your limbs are tangled in a way you can feel all of him pressing up against you. 

It starts to get stuffy, the space on the couch not nearly enough to have him the way you want to. Soon, you're both standing up, mouths still moving against each other and hands roaming everywhere until you're undoing the buttons on his shirt. 

He pulls away to fully take it off, eyes never leaving yours, dropping the shirt to the ground, next to the couch and then he's on you again, making your back crash into the wall as he works the knots keeping your blouse together. 

He walks you through the hall, stopping only to take your top off and then he's walking you to a room that has a familiar scent that doesn't belong to you.

“Wrong room, wrong room,” you say into his lips and he laughs, looking to your surroundings “Mine’s over there.” you point to the other end of the hall, taking his hand and pulling him towards it. 

You don't make it far before he's yanking you towards him again. He looks down, taking your body in and you do the same, his firm and defined stomach a sight you never thought you would be able to see. 

“You're so beautiful,” he whispers, backing you against the wall again and kissing your cheek “So, so beautiful.” 

Turning your head to chase his mouth, he lets out a heavy sigh when his lips trail a path to your neck and murmurs against the skin there “I never told you how beautiful I found you before but you're so perfect, baby.” 

“I always thought I wasn't your type, San,” you let out a noise when he grabs your hips and pulls you forward, crashing his into yours “Fuck.” 

“And I always thought you were too much for me, too smart,” he kisses his way back up, focusing on your jaw and chin until he's kissing your cheek again “too pretty,” he moves to your ear, pecking right under it and you hold him closer “too good for me.” 

It doesn't really matter that this is all new to you, the way he's speaking, the tenor of his voice, the things he's saying… It sparks something familiar in you. You're pulling his hair back to make him look at you, a moan slipping out of his lips at that. 

You want to hear it again. 

He's smiling at your reaction, hand tightening on his locks.

However, that smile drops when he seems to recognize the gleam in your eyes. 

You gather up courage, feeling empowered by the way his hooded eyes darken but wait patiently for you to speak your mind. 

“Maybe I'm too good for you now, too,” you lean in, your lips softly tracing his “Maybe you should prove to me that you deserve me, San.” 

It's a dare. One that he seems to like a lot because his eyes sparkle with the same fire they used to back in the day. 

“Oh, I'll prove it to you, alright.” He whispers, panting when you let go of his hair and he leans into you to kiss your lips briefly before pulling away again.

His hand tilts your head back and you rest it against the cold wall, his fingers touch your bottom lip before going down and down and down until they rest against the seam of your pants, unbuttoning them in one swift movement. 

Going back up, his nails softly dig into your skin and you preen, taking the soft sting of his ministrations like you two have done this a million times before.  

His mouth is on yours again, his hands are pulling you off the wall and into your room until you two land on your mattress with a soft tud, a moan spilling out of your lips when he sloths his knee in between your legs and pulls them apart with expertise. 

You don't have the mind to break down what that means. 

Opening your eyes when he kisses down your neck again, you notice your room is barely lit by the street lights outside, curtains pulled open and windows closed but, this way, you can see the way San kisses between your breasts and your belly, catching his eyes when he looks up to measure your reaction. 

You sigh, already feeling some sort of build up going on down there and he hasn't even touched you properly yet. 

You don't even want to think about how wet you actually are. 

He leans back, open palms going down your legs slowly until they reach your feet. It tickles and you can't help but let out a giggle that he joins short after, his gaze never losing the edge because of it, though. 

“San…” 

He guides your hips up so he can take off your pants and you sigh when his hands return, raising your leg up “I missed your laugh,” he says low, attaching his lips to your calf “I miss being the one making you laugh too.” 

You feel like crying again but then he's letting your leg down and grabbing the other one to give it the same treatment, so your tears can wait. 

This time, he moves upwards till his mouth nears your clothed center and your breath hitches. 

Yeah, you can definitely cry later.

“You want me to prove to you how much I want you, Y/N?” he murmurs, his lips ghosting your mound now “How much I love you?” 

“San, p-please…” 

“Fuck, look at you.” He sounds like he's too lost in the heat of the moment and you're kind of grateful, because the moan you let out when his fingers hook on your underwear and pull them to the side to expose your pussy to his hungry eyes is loud. 

When he kisses you right where you need him, you let out another moan. And when he parts your folds to lick a stripe up to your clit, you curse him under you breath until he's laughing against you softly, the vibrations accumulating heat on your belly. 

He doesn't tease you much longer and you look down at him just to catch the moment his self control slips, eating you out like a man starved while his hand stays on your hip to hold you down and keep you underwear from interrupting his feast. 

“This is like,” he dives in again for a few seconds and you grab the sheets beneath you “All my fantasies coming to life but better.” 

He's so chatty during this and the only thing you can do is stammer a yeah? and pray for it to reach his ears.

“Mhm,” the circles your clit with the tip of his tongue and your legs shake “Taste even better than what I dreamed, too.” 

The heat of his mouth leaves you, lips spreading your wetness through your stomach until he fully reaches your face, your eyes closed and lips already waiting for him. 

Tongue caressing yours, your hands trail down his torso and focus on getting his pants off. You're shaking with excitement so it proves to be more difficult than you imagined at first but he helps you in unbuckling his belt. 

Once the piece of clothing is one the floor (or the bed, you're not really paying attention on where it lands), you don't waste time in feeling him up through his boxers. 

The hiss you get in return makes you smile. 

Bringing your lips to his neck, you suckle on this pulse point and gain another pleased noise before grazing your teeth against skin and moving to his collarbone next.

In a way, you get what he means. If he truly was pining over you the way you were pining over him, the thought of exploring his tan skin and making him moan feels like a dream. 

So you kiss him again in order to make it all last longer. 

The minutes pass between the both of you, softly making out and figuring out what gets both of you going, discarding your underwear in the process. 

You realize your moans make San’s cock twitch against your leg and he seems to notice the way your hips buck up everytime his hands handle you more roughly. 

After a few minutes of just this, you feel his hand making its way down again and the pads of his fingers circle your clit until you're grasping the sheets again. He gathers your arousal and then enters one finger slowly and when it slides in and out with ease, he enters the next one. 

There's really not much prepping he needs to do, already soft and compliant under him, you relax into his comfortable touch before you're aching for something else. And your mouth is preoccupied with his, so you do something else to catch his attention. 

Hands caressing his back, you let them drop to his ass with a soft smack that wins you a soft huff on amusement and then a whine when you move his hips towards yours. 

“Condom?” 

You shake your head “I'm clean and I have an implant.” 

“Oh?” he smirks, about to tease you but you squeeze his butt again and he moans “Fuck. I'm clean too.” 

“Good,” you whisper against his cheek, laughing as he arranges his position. 

And he might've been touching you all this time, kissing you until your mind emptied and your lips are all swollen up, but the look on his eyes when he slowly enters you is what might drive you over the edge. 

Grabbing your hands, he pins them on the side of your head as he moves, dropping his head down with a groan as you take him in, nose touching yours and moth whispering sweet things you can't quite pick up. 

He feels so good. 

This all feels way too good to be real. 

In the cloud you're at, you allow yourself to dream a little more before the reality of what your confessions mean dawns on you. 

For now, you allow San to make love to you. Sweetly, slowly and with a passion you never were lucky enough to encounter before. 

Maybe it's because your previous lovers didn't have your heart the way San does. 

He rams his hips into yours hard, closing his eyes and resting his warm cheek against yours, kissing your face inch by inch when you accompany his movements with your own. 

When his pace picks up, you hug him close and secure your legs around his hips as you moan. 

“Y-yes, fuck.” 

“Like that?” he repeats the movement from before, pulling out and then in with such force it rocks the entire bed. 

“Just like that, baby, fuck.” 

“God, you sound so good,” you smile a little, forehead resting on his shoulder before your head falls down against your pillow again “I love you,” he repeats against your lips, letting your hands go to cup your face with both of his again “I love you so much.” 

Teetering over the edge, you feel happy tears stinging in your eyes. Though closed, you can feel San’s stare on you, on your face, on the way you react to his sweet words and relentless pace. 

You say it back in a whisper and he repeats it again and again and again until you're both coming and tears are spilling down your cheeks. 

He kisses them away. 

You wipe his with trembling fingers as you come down, having trouble breathing from everything that just happened. 

You don't feel suffocated anymore, you feel like you've been freed. Like this was supposed to happen at some point and you two finally got around to it. 

“I love you,” he says once more before slipping out of you with a parting kiss. 

Holy shit. 

When San gets up from the bed and you point him to the bathroom, down the hallway, you're left with a sticky mess in between your legs and a lot to think about but you settle on four things. 

San just made love to you. There's no way that was just sex. 

There's also no way you're coming back from this. 

Gyuri is probably going to kill you. 

And that, obviously, your feelings for San never left. You feel the familiar warmth of them spreading through your post-orgasmic state. They're there, mocking you, asking you who the fuck you thought you were for pushing them away. 

He returns, toilet paper in his hands before leaning in and cleaning you up, lips immediately finding home on your skin as he does. 

You both giggle at that.

You probably need to shower but you've been crying and there's no way you're leaving this bed tonight. He throws the paper away on your bedroom’s trashcan and then crashes into the bed next to you, still naked, still looking at you with so much love you're wondering what stopped you from seeing it was there before. 

Taking his hand, you bring it to his lip and give his knuckles a peck “That was really good.” 

“It was.” 

“I can't believe we actually just did that…” 

He smiles and what he says next shocks you even more than his confession “I want to take you out.” 

“San… You just came inside me not even ten minutes ago.” 

“And?” you laugh and he shakes his head, leaning into your space again “I spent many years doing everything wrong, let me do it the right way.” 

“Making love to me one time and then taking me out on a date is not the right way, sir.” 

He nuzzles your cheek with his nose and you let out a pleased sigh “Who said it was just one time, huh?” Attacking your neck with his lips again, you push him away with a laugh. 

“Oh, come on!” 

He laughs as well “Give me ten minutes and I'll make it two!” 

San makes love to you two more times. And by four in the morning, you're snuggled into his arms and sleeping soundly. 

When you wake up and find the space next to you empty, you think it was all a dream. Your naked form begs to differ and you quickly put the t-shirt you usually wear to bed on and your panties underneath it to go out and face the feelings of your actions fighting with the blender in the kitchen. 

“How do you two live with this stupid thing?” 

“We don't,” you answer, startling him “We don't use it. What are you trying to make?” 

San’s shirtless, wearing his pants and his hair messy. Looking back at the living room clock, you see it's just five past ten. 

Smiling as he approaches you, you forget you must look a mess too when he pecks your lips and barely pulls away “Good morning, beautiful.” 

You pretend to cringe at that, pulling away “Oh, God. Morning, dumbass.” 

“You like it, you're blushing,” he points out and the pink on your cheek deepens as he's going back to the blender “Does anything work here?” 

“The microwave,” you shrug “And the stove. Were you trying to make yourself a…” you look over the ingredients he has pulled out of your fridge “Green juice?” 

“I was trying to make both of us a green juice,” he corrects and your heart skips at the immediate domestic attitude he has with you “But now I can tell neither of you drink anything like it, hm? I'm buying you a blender.” 

“Please don't.” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think that one is broken?” 

He hums, huffing out a laugh seconds later and you walk over to him, unsure on how to approach him even though what you did yesterday night and earlier this morning didn't allow your shyness to step in. 

Now you're feeling it. 

He can tell, because he stops fighting with the steel appliances to grab your waist and pull you close “I wanted to make you breakfast.” 

“We can make breakfast together and I can order your green juice,” you compromise and he nods, but he doesn't let you go “And later we can go out on that date you promised me yesterday and we can go over what we're going to tell the two idiots.” 

His smile drops. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

Grimacing, you nod “It was the second thing I thought about after waking up.” 

“What was the first?” 

“Oh, I was trying to remember if you ever asked me to dance before,” he nods with a smile “Guess what? You didn't.” 

He fake gasps at that “I did!” 

“No, you didn't!” 

“Babe, yes I did,” he insists and you laugh, which prompts him to wrap his hands around you tighter when you try to get away from him “It was when—” 

“Oh. My. God. I'm going to be sick again.” 

Now when the fuck did Gyuri come back. 

And why is Wooyoung with her too, jaw slack as he watches both of you pull away from each other and create a safe distance that doesn't help whatever your best friends just saw. 

“It worked?” he asks and you can barely hear him until he hollers like a crazy person “Oh, it worked! I am a genius!” 

“Wooyoung, hold me! I'm going to kill them!” Gyuri looks like she's about to launch towards you at any second now, so you close your eyes and accept your fate. But nothing happens “Wait— What worked?” 

When you open them again, San is hiding behind you and Gyuri’s back is to both of you as she looks at Wooyoung with, what you assume, murderous intentions. 

“Gyuri, let's talk about this,” the black haired guy puts his hands up “You were too drunk to discuss it so I made the choice of— Gyuri, no!” 

You burst into laughter when she starts chasing him around the apartment and San giggles as well, only more nervous than delighted by their little cat and mouse game. 

He's probably sensing he's next on her hit list. 

As if you would let anything happen to him in the first place. 

“Stop, stop! I'm sorry, please leave me alone!” you hear Wooyoung’s voice echoing through your hall and in a second he's entering the kitchen, rounding you and San “I'm so happy for you guys, really, this was meant to happ— Stop!” He cries when Gyur catches onto him and yanks his hair to stop him from running.  

“Y/N,” she starts, chest heaving and you take a step back, crashing into San’s chest. He holds onto you only to push you a little and protect himself from the fury of your best friend “When I told you fuck him I didn't meant this!” 

“I know.” 

Wooyoung whines but he can't get away from her grasp so he just accepts it and pouts like a child. 

“A-and you!” She points towards the guy resting his chin on your shoulder “How dare you! If this is something casual for you then—” 

“I love her.” He defends himself quickly and your heart all but stops at that. 

“You do?” Wooyoung coos, amazed at his best friend’s confession. 

Gyuri's anger falters at that. 

“You… You do?” 

“And I love him,” you let out in a shy whisper, smiling a bit “But you already knew that.” 

“Of course I already knew that, bitch, I am your other half,” she makes a point to stare at San as she says it, letting Wooyoung go and he massages the part of his scalp that was targeted by his ex “Don't forget that.” 

“Y-yes ma'am.” 

You laugh again and Woo joins the embrace, eyeing you both expectantly and rolling his eyes when neither of you say anything to him “Well, you are so welcome guys. What are we having for breakfast?” 

You and San don't get to go out on that date. 

But when you do, he asks you to be his girlfriend the next day. 

And when you say yes he almost breaks down in excited tears.

Eventually, even Gyuri comes around and threatens him into treating you right, which means he earned her seal of approval. 

You delete the document on your laptop when you find it a month into being his girlfriend and, instead, start drafting your new beginning on it, in first person this time because the story doesn't feel like it belongs to someone else now.

The first line read as it follows: 

How did I ever think San and I could be just friends? 

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

Theorem of Attraction (Seonghwa x Reader)

Summary: Being nearly 30 and still being at math is embarrassing, especially when a promotion you've been looking forward to at work demands it. So when you hire the shy Park Seonghwa, a university professor, as your personal tutor, you're expecting it to help you succeed in the corporate world and nothing else. The only issue is how irresistibly attractive he is and ridiculously horny you are.

Word Count: 13.1k lol

Genre/Warning: one-shot, shy!seonghwa x forward!reader, slightlyagedup!seonghwa, professor!hwa, smut (MDNI!), stripping, striptease(?), oral (f&m receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms, a little dacryphilia, fluff, alcohol, drunk behavior, cursing, adult language, academic insecurity, status insecurity, p0rn WITH plot (maybe too much plot for its own good), possibly incorrect information about math theorems, mentions of murder (crime docu), and last but not least: horribly inconsistent verb tenses

Author's Note: She's here!!! I've had this idea brewing in my brain for SO long and felt oddly inspired to write this fic in the span of <7 days. I'm really proud of it, and I would absolutely LOVE to know what you guys think of it! Please remember to reblog and leave your feedback (literally any kind of feedback pls I will eat it UP). Hope you guys enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, much love <3

🎧 playlist 🎧: ariana grande: the boy is mine ♾️ enhypen: fever ♾️ woodz: feel like ♾️ kai: mmmh ♾️ pristin v: get it ♾️ exo: playboy ♾️ seulgi: uncover ♾️ taemin: thirsty ♾️ red velvet: will I ever see you again?

This is a work of fiction, and it is not meant to be a realistic representation of any real person mentioned in any way, shape, or form.

This was a weird arrangement. You could admit that much, because it wasn’t normal for someone that was well out of the academic scene, with a brilliantly paying job and a well-established social scene, to want to jump back into schooling of all things—especially when it was math that you were trying to re-learn.

You flatten your hands across the linen of your pants. At second-glance, they looked far too similar to pajamas, but as the clock ticks closer to 7, you decide it’s too late to change out of them for something more appropriate. It should be fine. After all, you were in your home. You can dress however you wanted to.

You huff out a frustrated sigh and stand from your dining table chair. You were overthinking this. You were turning 30 soon, and you were bad at math. Those were two facts. You have an established career that comes with good money, and with said established career, you’ve earned the luxury of a slightly shorter workweek. Those were also two facts. The promotion you’re surely about to receive will definitely require some math in the near future. 

And that, unfortunately for you, was also a fact.

Sometimes it surprised you that you had even managed to make it this far. You had gotten through high school just fine, but in college, you had your fair share of a struggle. In the middle of the night several weeks into your first semester, with your hair clutched tightly between your whitening knuckles, you were bent over your tear-stained precalculus textbook and decided the bare-minimum would just have to be good enough. 

So with that philosophy, you drudged forward, using a combination of flirting with the unfortunate boy that next to you and restricted calculators, you managed to score a measly C-average in your math classes throughout your college career. 

You knew a managerial promotion was on the cards for you; you were even looking forward to it. In an attempt to build niceties, you had taken the acting manager of your team to lunch last Friday, but what you didn’t expect was learning how much math she does on a daily basis. As she made her way through her salad, your smile faltered into bewilderment. 

There was no way you would be able to do this yourself or put it on someone else. 

Later that night in the quiet of your apartment, you’d downed three cans of beers in a worry. You could decline the promotion? But you’ve been wanting it for so long. You could load the work onto someone else? No, that’d be a real shitty move, especially as a newly promoted manager. You could just fake it till you make it? No, that now has the potential to very badly go south. 

It was a little comical; there you were in your pajamas, swirling your wine in a coffee mug, as you said to yourself, more serious than you’d ever been before, “No. I need to learn math.”

Closing in on a decade of being a professional adult, you figure no time is better than now. So, slightly less tipsy now, you decided to look up math tutors in your area, but your discouragement was quick to grow with what seemed like an unending amount of options for children, the need to down another beer strong but that’s when you came across him. 

As you clicked on the fourth link of the seventh page of your Google results, you landed on Park Seonghwa’s university contact page. 

Next to his email, phone number and office hours was a professional headshot. At first glance, he looked, for a lack of a better word, derpy. The frame of his black glasses looked too thick for his slender face, and there was a politely childish smile on his face. His raven black hair beautifully fell around his face, and his lips were plush and moisturized. Somehow, at second glance, he looked kind of adorable.

Cute, nerdy boys had never been your type, but you think, maybe for Seonghwa, you could change that. Besides you were getting older, and your list of married friends had grown longer than your list of single friends. Maybe I should sign up for a dating app?

No! Shaking the inebriated thoughts away, you pull yourself together, deciding to unpack that baggage for another time. 

You bring your attention back to Seonghwa’s picture, thinking as critically as you could. Although he was extremely cute, he frankly didn’t look old enough to be a teacher. Ever the skeptic, you copied his name to quickly run it through RateMyProfessor, only to pleasantly be proven wrong. 

With a sturdy 4.3, most of his students only had nice things to say. Kind, good teacher, and not too hard on the eyes. Don’t buy the textbook. Beware of his paper exams. Gives out lots of extra credit. Super accessible office hours. And that was all you needed. 

You suppose you should’ve waited to sober up before you sent him the god-awful rant of an email you’d written, but what was done couldn’t be undone. The wait was tortuous, and you anxiously paced your apartment, trying to convince yourself that surely no professor checks their email over the weekend, as you checked your email every ten minutes. That was until you’d seen his response agreeing to help come in close to midnight on that Sunday night.

You breathe out heavily and look back at your clock. 6:58 p.m. This definitely wasn’t normal, and while you were sure he was nice, there was no doubt in your mind that he was filled with sorry judgment towards you. What kind of corporate professional needs a math tutor? You scoff ridiculously before thinking, Me, I do. 

With a frustrated sigh, you fluffed the pillows on your couch and looked around to see if anything else required tending to as you waited for Park Seonghwa to ring your doorbell.

*****

Seonghwa thought this was a weird arrangement. He felt comfortable admitting that because you had thankfully admitted it first.

When he had spotted your email in his inbox last week, he was sure you were looking for someone to teach your kid. But as he kept reading, your long message becoming ever so desperate, it became very clear that you were the one requesting his help. 

And sure he offers help, but that’s typically limited to his students which is usually during office hours. Never once, throughout the entirety of his career, has he been asked to tutor someone who was not a student in any capacity. So he lets your email sit in his inbox for the weekend, your offer to pay him handsomely for his services constantly bouncing around in his head. 

Finally, when he’d had enough of it, he’d sat down at his computer far too late into the Sunday evening and scrolled through your LinkedIn profile. He was thoroughly pleased to find out you were in fact a real human and not a scamming chatbot.

You were stunning, and you looked assured standing next to what Seonghwa assumed were your co-workers in a picture you had posted last week. He kept scrolling to find more and more pictures of you shaking hands with partners when you’ve signed a deal or clinking your champagne flute with your team after closing out a successful quarter. Your life was fast-paced, and you seemed to like it that way.

Seonghwa was able to gather your intelligence and resiliency as he looked at your active feed and impressive work experiences. But what he wasn’t able to understand was why, when heading into your 30s, you were suddenly interested in obtaining math as a skill. It was absolutely an important skill to have, that there was no doubt about that in Seonghwa’s mind, but you had been plenty successful without it so far. 

So with more questions than answers, he writes you an email back, happy to be of help. 

But now, when he’s standing in the lobby of your apartment building in the city, he’s not too fond of his decision to get to know you better. 

Your apartment, located in the northern side of the city, had stopped Seonghwa in his tracks. The building rose high amongst its neighbors, and the exterior was elegant, stone carvings hugging the arching entrance, where Seonghwa was greeted by a courteous doorman. 

With slow steps, Seonghwa walked into the cool air of the building’s lobby. It looked almost like a hotel to him. There was a massive electrical fireplace, and while it was off for the summer, its presence set the tone for the rest of the collectively expansive lobby.

Cool marble lined the entirety of the floors and reflected the light of a golden chandelier that hung glamorously from the ceiling. Along the high ceilings were delicate oil paintings portraying blurred visions of the city’s renowned skyline. To his left, mail was being dropped into their corresponding sleek black boxes, and to his right, sweaty residents were exiting the modernly equipped gym. Several dark velvet chairs and couches sitting on plush rugs invited him further into the center of the lobby, and behind them, he saw a reception area bustling with busy employees. Past that was a luxurious elevator. 

Clearing his throat and readjusting his worn leather messenger bag over his shoulder, he walked towards it, begging his racing heart to calm. He presses the up button, and the whirr of the awakening elevator quiets the sound coming from the bustling lobby, enough for Seonghwa to take his first full breath after entering the overwhelmingly grand building.

Seonghwa didn’t ask for much. He didn’t ask for respect from his students or his co-workers, and to be completely honest, he didn’t want it. He was more than satisfied with his life. He had a job that he enjoyed and research that kept him curious. He even had a fantastic office, even if it was originally meant to be a closet. Seonghwa had cleared out the seemingly unending amount of stuff to reveal a beautiful window with a view of the campus square. 

He had a small house in the outskirts of the city that he kept well-maintained. He had a cute cat that waited for him to come home, and the show he really liked had a new season coming out soon. He enjoyed taking the train to and from the university campus. He liked that there was ample amount of things to do in the city when he wasn’t working on his research. 

So when he finds himself repeatedly looking through your LinkedIn profile leading to today, he isn’t sure why he felt inadequate.

He supposes his good enough, his normal, probably doesn’t seem like much in comparison to your accomplishments, your accolades, your success. Seonghwa was just really good at math. That was the end of it.  

After his final lecture yesterday, Seonghwa found himself scrolling through your LinkedIn page for the umpteenth time that week. You had posted a picture earlier celebrating the students that had landed an internship at your company for the summer, wishing them the best for their time there. 

You looked so lovely standing between the bright-eyed students. You’d worn a baby blue blouse that was neatly tucked into a pair of cream dress pants that brought out your own eyes. Your smile was big and genuine, just as it was in every single one of your other pictures. You were really pretty. Seonghwa stared at that picture for much longer than he would like to admit.  

The elevator dings open, and Seonghwa steps in, pressing the button for the 8th floor.

He wasn’t sure why he took on this gig. Perhaps your pictures had done him in, but even then, his curiosity should’ve stopped there. It’s not as if he doesn’t have other things to focus on. He had to teach two summer sessions these next couple of months. His research was still ongoing and his incomplete publication for the mathematics journal had been edited more times than he’d care to acknowledge. He was supposed to renovate his outdated bathroom and buy his cat a new scratch post. He was also working on secretly pulling out the god-awful carpet in his office square foot by square foot. 

Besides, he’s never really been a people person, preferring emails anyways. He can’t even look most of his students in the eyes, choosing to look at the back of the classroom or his projectors instead. He doesn’t like socializing much either, and he only stays a generous 30 minutes to the university events or fellow professors’ birthdays he’s invited to. 

But here he is, standing in an elevator too majestic to simply be just an elevator heading up to a gorgeous woman’s expensive apartment to teach her math. It sounded too ridiculous to even think about. As the elevator slowly climbs upwards, he thinks God, why am I even here?

Before he’s able to spiral deeper into the thought, the elevator arrives and opens to the 8th floor. Taking a look at the address you’d emailed him, he steps out in search of your apartment. When he arrives at your door, he nervously chews at his lip. 

He’d taken the bus here straight from campus and hadn’t had a chance to even look at himself in the mirror. Quickly sliding the camera on his phone open, he begins to adjust the strands of hair the summer wind had managed to blow out of place as best he can. He pats down his outfit, puts lip balm over his bitten lips, and pushes his thick glasses up his nose. 

Then, after what seems like the longest time, Seonghwa clears his throat and rings your doorbell.

When you finally hear the long-awaited ding dong!, your rushed pacing comes to a halt. You’ve fluffed every pillow, straightened every cloth, and spritzed your apartment with a soft lavender scent multiple times over, all in an attempt to make a good first impression, hoping to maybe compensate for your stupidity with good taste. 

But you look around the living room once more, just in case. The nauseating overhead lights have been turned off and you’ve lit your collected array of oddly shaped and sized lamps, and usually you’d be proud of the arrangement, but right now, it looks almost romantic. 

You’ve got no time to change it when the doorbell rings again, and you call out, “Just a moment!” You straighten the wrinkles in your linen pants again and take a deep breath before opening the front door. 

Behind the door, the sight of Seonghwa beyond his university profile picture makes you inwardly melt. His glasses rest crookedly on his face, and there’s a blush decorating his cheekbones. His soft yellow cardigan is bent as if it had crumpled underneath him when he sat, and his hair looks as if it had gotten tousled in the wind. 

He looks lovingly adorable, yet when he readjusts his dark leather bag hanging from his shoulder, you’re able to spot his broad chest under it. Inside his yellow cardigan, he had worn a cream shirt that had been tucked into his dark brown pants, secured with a clunky belt looped around his beautifully thin waist. Beyond the blush, his cheekbones were pronounced, making his face look angled and sharp. Park Seonghwa was unexpectedly handsome, but you push the thought aside as you greet him with a simple “Hi.”

“Hello, it’s really nice to meet you. I’m Seonghwa,” he adjusts his bag once more and holds out his hand for you to shake. Taking his slender hands into your own, you’re unable to stop thinking about how his fingers would feel around your waist, and maybe around your throat, and maybe curled just right inside of you.  

What are you doing? Stop it! Introducing yourself, you add, “Thank you, you too. Please, come in,” and step aside, letting him enter your apartment. 

As he starts to remove his shoes, he curiously eyes your space, taking in the interior. There must have been a dozen or so lamps illuminating your very well-lit living room, leaving no corner dark, the crown molding only amplifying their effect. Your apartment was designed similarly to the lobby, exuding sheer confidence and class. Your dark brown couch was draped with dark green cushions and a silky wine red shawl. Above it, there was a massive oil painting of a naked couple participating in an explicit scene that had Seonghwa blushing. 

Your appliances were dark brown, or black, Seonghwa couldn’t tell in the golden light. There was a neatly arranged bookshelf filled with hundreds of books lining one wall while the other was decorated with several picture frames. Variously colored vases held an array of colorful flowers, and in front of them was a collection of small Lego structures. Soenghwa liked you, but what he says instead is, “You’ve got a lovely home.”

“Oh, thanks, I’ve just recently had it renovated.” Leading him to the dining table, you gesture at the chair, “Please, sit.” And as he does, you add, “Can I get you anything, some water or something to eat?”

“I’m alright, thank you for offering,” Seonghwa responds, but as he does, he feels his throat drying. “Actually, I’m sorry, some water would be nice.” 

When you were at university, you learned about something called sympathetic resonance. It happened when a passive string responded to an external vibration, matching its harmonic likeness. When you began interning and eventually working, you found out you were really good at sympathetic resonance. Matching others’ vibrations to your own felt easy, and once you mastered it, it felt like you could move nowhere but up. But for your sympathetic resonance to work effectively, you had to be in the presence of someone extraverted, someone loud, of which there was no lack of in the corporate world. 

But with Seonghwa? You couldn’t help but feel as reserved as him. It almost felt like a first date. 

But nonetheless, you persist, placing a glass of cold water on a coaster and sliding it over to him, asking, “I hope my place wasn’t too hard to find?”

“No, not at all,” Seonghwa answers, taking a sip of the water. In the time it takes him to respond, condensation has built up around the cup, and you feel the time moving in slow-motion. Seonghwa wasn’t meeting your eyes, instead choosing to look at the city from behind your sheer curtains. 

“Because I don’t mind meeting somewhere else if the time or place doesn’t work out for you,” you continue.

“This works well for me,” Seonghwa says, taking another sip. As he does, he tips his head back, exposing his throat. Even his throat is handsome… God, I need to download those dating apps. “There’s a bus that runs directly from the campus to this side of the city, so really, it’s no problem.”

“Okay, perfect.” You feel like you’re droning, so to fill the silence, you ask, “So what do you prefer?”

Seonghwa looks into your face for the first time, tilting his head. “Sorry?”

“Professor Park? Dr. Park? Sir?” Oddly enough, your face warms at your own words. Sir had never been a sexual innuendo for you. In fact, you’d used it so often in your line of work that all you associated with the word now was elderly men that were much too old to be running an office. Yet the unintended implication makes you look down to your feet, giving you a chance to recollect yourself.

“Oh!” Seonghwa shakes his hands, eyes widening. “Just Seonghwa is fine!” he insists, adding, “We’re very close in age.” 

Somehow, now that he’s finally able to look at you, the heavy tension has broken. “Okay, Seonghwa,” you say, finally sitting down across from him. “I really appreciate you doing this.” You rest your vulnerability softly on the table between you. 

“Of course,” Seonghwa’s lips curl into a half-smile. Now past the niceties, you can feel his stiff form loosening. From his bag, he starts to pull out thick books. “So I bought a couple of textbooks that cover the basics of algebra and others that dip into trigonometry, but we can start with some algebra review before we move into those things,” he says, stacking the textbooks one on top of the other. “Whatever you’re comfortable with,” he adds, leaning back into your wooden chair, much more relaxed. 

But your silence makes him nervous again. There’s a gentle ticking coming from a large clock just past your head, and Seonghwa watches several seconds pass by before you nervously say, “I was hoping that maybe we can start at the beginning? Like all the way at the beginning?” you tell him, looking down at your fiddling fingertips.

It wasn’t easy to tell another adult you were shit at simple arithmetics. A child? Sure, you could let them know, no worries, no damage to your reputation. But another adult? That teaches math for a living? You felt like crawling under your dinner table and staying there until Seonghwa decided to leave on his own, his head shaking with disappointment. 

But to your surprise, he simply nods and pushes the intimidating pile of algebra and trigonometry to the side. Reaching into his worn leather bag once again, he pulls out several sheets of paper. At the smaller numbers and lack of letters, you calm.

“How about some basic math?” he offers, pushing the frame of his thick glasses up his slender nose. The material of his yellow cardigan glimmers in the soft light of your apartment, giving him a halo effect. 

With a relieved smile, you exhale, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

*****

You had an affinity for paper. It was surely an odd thing to have an affinity for, but writing on paper felt fulfilling. It felt like being alive to you. You’d write your tasks down on paper, crossing each differently shaped square box with an X. You’d draft your emails in your journal, using different pens to mark it for when the time came to type it. 

You kept every hand-written letter you’ve received, each memo from work, each signed receipt, and each graded paper safely in a collection of boxes in your closet. 

It felt like you were leaving your mark on the world. So when Seonghwa grades the printed worksheets you do throughout the week with a glittery blue smiley face that strangely resembles his own face, you can’t help but add it to your collection. 

Though other times, he picks up the red pen. You’re filled with dread during the time Seonghwa spends between grading your work in front of you, fingers hovering over the glittery blue and distressing red pens.

As your lessons continue, it becomes increasingly difficult to pay attention to him. Sometimes, you find eyes flickering down to his lips when he’s explaining things to you, wondering how they’d feel pressed up against yours. They were always moisturized, and when he passed you on his way out, you could faintly smell the cinnamon of his gum. Other times, you watch his fingers correct your work, wondering how good the long digits would feel inside you. 

It doesn’t take long for Seonghwa’s face to pop up in your brain when you’re masturbating at night. You’d decided he’d look the cutest between your thighs, round eyes looking up at you. Other nights, you’d be under his broad chest as he roughly rut into you. You rotated endlessly between the two, yet either managed to get you off every single time. 

That was until the guilt settled in later. Seonghwa was sweet. He always sounded intelligent and sophisticated, but he never made you feel like you were stupid. He went over concepts until they would stick, and when that didn’t work, he didn’t get annoyed, instead opting to look for another method. His blue and red pen were encouraging, and he spent a great deal of time reassuring you as you worked through each problem. He never overwhelmed you with information and kept his lessons digestible. 

All he wanted to do was help you, and there you were, getting off to him like some pervert. You’d shame yourself for it, only to fall back into the vicious cycle week after week.

Still, in seven weeks time, you had built up a decent collection of Seonghwa’s good job! paper notes, ripping them off the corner of your worksheets. You liked to feel the paper where his skin had been, and in time, some of them even made it to your work desk, encouraging your endeavors outside of math. 

And in that way, you were much like Seonghwa, because like you, Seonghwa liked giving out his exams on paper. Sure, it would be much simpler to administer exams online, letting students take them from the comfort of their own home and letting the computer do the grading. It definitely earned him some nasty glares when he mentioned this fact on the first day of class, but he thinks his students come around when they discover his ample leniency when they get their first exams back.

The handwritten answers and work help him see. He can see the uncertainty or lack thereof in his students’ answers. He can feel the roughened paper that had been erased over one too many times under his fingertips. And occasionally, a paper littered in dried tears from his differential equations class. Either way, while his grading process took a much longer time, he enjoyed getting to know his students this way. 

So when you email him to let him know you’re running late, he’s grateful the doorman lets him in to wait in the cooled lobby instead of melting into the summer night outside. Seonghwa takes a seat in the corner of the lobby on one of the dark velvet couches, reaches into his bag, and begins to grade the summer class’ midterm exams by hand. 

He’d liked tutoring you. Or maybe he just liked you. Seonghwa wasn’t sure, but he didn’t mind the uncertainty.

You had a really beautiful smile, and Seonghwa had grown a little too fond of it. It was bold, happy, and genuine. He supposed it was a skill you had to learn to succeed in the corporate world. On the other hand, Seonghwa had mastered his nod, which wasn’t too formal, yet still carried respect, which his older tenured associates seemed to prefer anyways. 

But your eyes attracted Seonghwa like no other. They had a way of pulling him in, and when he sat adjacent to you, he’d observed them into remembrance. He loved everything about them. The way a fire burned behind them when you were frustratingly learning about proofs, or the way they crinkled shut in happiness at his gentle praises of doing a good job. 

In the silence of his office before his office hours, Seonghwa would lose himself in his thoughts of you. What you sounded like when he complimented your progress. What you’d sound like greeting him. What you’d sound like under him. What you’d look like in a pretty sundress. What you’d look like in his clothes. What you’d look like naked.

Okay, maybe more often than not, his thoughts were perverted. But in all honesty, Seonghwa just couldn’t help it. He’d think of you when no one came to his office hours, he’d think of you when he was lecturing, and he’d think of you when he was in bed, all much too often for his own good.

Seonghwa’s fantasies were vivid, his imagination running amok when he’d think of the things he’d want to do to you and what you might do to him. How he’d eat you out, how he’d deep he’d fuck into you, how he’d bruise your skin with his hold. How you’d suck him off, how you’d ride him, how you’d tug at his hair. It was all too much and all too vivid in his head. 

He’d have his way with you in your home, fucking you at your dining table. Other times, it would be in his office, with you splayed out against the window that looked out onto the campus square. You’d whimper out his name as he gave you orgasm after orgasm. So while Seonghwa wasn’t a people person, he was starting to become a you person.

But when you’d welcome him into your hold the following Friday with your pretty smile and sweet eyes, Seonghwa would feel intense and  apologetic regret. God, you were just so kind, and he was such a terrible person. 

“You’re a lifesaver” you had told him after a particularly difficult lesson. 

Never in his life had Seonghwa been someone’s lifesaver. But to be yours? He would live a thousand lifetimes and never feel as accomplished as he did then. So while Seonghwa wasn’t a people person, he was starting to become a you person. He wanted to admit that to you, but all he could say in the moment was that it was his job and he was more than happy to help. 

He notices that you enjoyed his little comments he left on your graded worksheets, and so, riddled with guilt, he continues to leave smiley faces and iterations of good job! and well done! on your worksheets with his glittery blue pen, hoping it would ease his mind when he eventually jerked off to you later that night. 

Seonghwa grades several more midterms before you finally walk through the entrance of your apartment lobby. Seonghwa had begun to smile more often. He stretched his lips into a wide smile like yours, but when he looked in the mirror, all he could see was a pained expression. Nonetheless, he persisted, smiling more at his students, the tenured professors, and even the bus driver that took him to your apartment. 

Now, as conceited as it sounded, the big, wide smile seemed natural to him, so that’s how he smiles when your eyes catch his. But this time, unlike other occasions, you greet him not with your usual happy smile, but with a tight-lipped one instead.

Seonghwa’s out-of-place bright smile falters a little, and instead, he chooses to mirror yours. Hurriedly, he shoves his students’ partially graded midterms into his bag and follows you as you politely greet the employees at the reception desk. 

When the two of you step into the majestic elevator that Seonghwa has yet to get used to, he finally observes your still form standing besides his. Your usually tall shoulders are rounded in fatigue, and your eyes are sunken with exhaustion. You’re uncharacteristically quiet too, not even a How were your lectures this week? falling from your lips. 

So Seonghwa stays quiet as well, unsure how to approach you. 

It’s when you’ve both set your bags down inside your dark apartment that Seonghwa finally asks, “Is everything okay?”

Apologetically, you look at him. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” you say, sighing deeply. “I just had a really shitty day at work,” and with that, you begin to light your multitude of lamps.

“Oh, we can reschedule for another time if you’re tired today,” he says, watching you flicking the switch for some lamps while twisting the knobs for others, illuminating the dim space. 

“No, that’s alright. I just wish I could’ve let you know earlier, I probably would’ve saved you the trip up here.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. He wanted to say he didn’t mind it in the slightest, he would’ve dropped everything if you’d tell him so. But Seonghwa doesn’t say that and you’re still distracted, far away, stalling by straightening the shawl draped over the couch. 

So he does as you’ve paid him to do, teach. Flipping the cover of his bag over, he grasps the textbook you’ve been making your way through tightly and a folder filled with worksheets he’s printed just for you between his fingers. As he begins to lay out the printed practice sheets on your dining table, you sigh. “Would it be alright with you if I had a beer?”

Seonghwa stops organizing the worksheets and holds them awkwardly in his hands, answering, “Of course.”

With slightly more elated steps, you rush to grab three cans from your fridge and walk past the dining table, deciding to plop down on your couch. With a swift crack of the can, you hungrily swallow down the beer. You turn, finding Seonghwa standing unmoving behind you. Picking up one of the extra cans from your coffee table, you reach behind the couch and hold the can for him to take. 

For the past several weeks, Seonghwa had followed a direct line from the front door to his designated chair at the dining table. He never even so much as used your restroom. It felt impolite, like he would be overstepping. So, when Seonghwa pushes the chair back into the dining table and rounds the couch past the familiar threshold, it's as though he's crossing into uncharted territory. The air seems to shift, carrying with it the scent of lavender and old books. 

This was different from the sturdy wooden chairs of your dining table. The colors in the room appear more vivid, the textures more pronounced. The soft hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen mingles with the ticking of your clock. Seonghwa could read the titles of your books without squinting, and he could make out the details of your lamps. At the realization of the intimacy, Seonghwa stiffened. 

But you’ve relaxed a little, so Seonghwa tries to do the same, asking, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You take a couple of small sips, an annoyed expression coloring your face. “It’s just this stupid guy at work.”

Seonghwa waits on you to elaborate, opening his own can and taking the smallest possible sip. 

“He came in this morning asking for the quarter’s report before the quarter’s even finished, so obviously we started panicking and began working on it. When it doesn’t get done by lunch, which it was never going to, he starts messing with the interns! Like hassling the poor kids is going to get the report done. Worst of all? The asshole left early.” You shake your head bitterly. “Anyways, I just…” you finish off the beer with a sigh and place the empty can back on the wooden coaster on your coffee table. “I really don’t want to talk or even think about him anymore. Will you distract me?”

Seonghwa's breath hitches and his heart beats irregularly fast. He’s grateful that in that moment your air conditioner kicks in as loudly as it does, hiding the thump thump thump of his anxious heart. Clearing his throat, he asks, “How?”

“Hmm,” you think for a moment. You’re beginning to feel the alcohol's warm haze, and with it, you abandon your usual caution, craving comfort over contemplation, and bravely decide to readjust your legs over the arms of the couch and lay your head on his lap. It definitely catches Seonghwa off guard, the fragrance of your perfume fills his senses and he swallows, momentarily closing his eyes. “Tell me something, anything,” you say, looking up at him. 

One of Seonghwa’s hands is nervously curled into a fist, glued to his side, while the other is tightly clutching his can of beer, and you’re desperately eager to take them into your own, placing one on your stomach and the other in your hair. But as the blush on his cheeks only darkens, you suppose this is better than nothing.

“Oh, okay…” he clears his throat again, gulping down a couple of large swigs of his untouched beer. “Well, there’s a tenured professor in my department that’s exactly like this guy at your office.”

“Oh, yeah? 

“He loses track of reports and dates all the time, but we can’t complain about it. And he treats the department’s teaching assistants like crap. And he manages to turn every conversation into an ode to Euler’s theorem.”

“At least he’s passionate?” you offer, but this is the first time Seonghwa’s complained about this guy out loud; he wants to set the record straight, even if you’re probably never going to meet the old man. 

He shakes his head, “More like obsessed. He’s spent multiple lunch breaks raving on and on about its beauty and elegance like it’s the only theorem in the world, like Gödel and Fermat don’t exist. I mean, sure, I like Euler’s theorem as much as the next mathematician, but he should at least admit you have a favorite and move on.” Wow, it felt good to get that off his chest. Seonghwa didn’t even know he’d been this irritated at the man, but accepting the fact rather quickly, he takes a generous sip of beer.

“Do you have one? A favorite theorem?”

He laughs, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, answering “Of course, I do.” He takes a large gulp, and you watch his adam's apple bob as he swallows, pressing your thighs closer together. “That’s like asking a writer if they’ve got a favorite book.”

You roll your eyes and playfully scoff, “Okay Professor Park, what’s your favorite theorem then?” You fold your arms over your chest and look up to his face. The action pushes your breasts closer together and upwards, and Seonghwa has to look away. 

Seonghwa was not a drinker, but having you rest in his lap, looking as good as you did, calling him Professor, was making him ridiculously horny, enough to need another beer. He was praying he wouldn’t pop a boner, and to quell the need, he sits up, takes another big sip, and runs his hair through his hair, focusing on answering your question. “I have three. Do you know who Kurt Gödel is?” From his lap, you watch his hair land floppily over his forehead and shake your head. 

“Well, back in the 1930s, he published this set of theorems that talks about how it’s impossible to find a complete and consistent set of axioms for the entirety of mathematics.” Seonghwa catches the confusion that speeds across your face and stutters, “Oh…” as he searches for an analogy. His eyes light up when he spots the Lego structures on your television stand. “Imagine we're building a giant Lego city, with lots of rules about how to connect the pieces.” 

“Oh, okay.” You close your eyes, trying to imagine. Now that your eyes are no longer on him, Seonghwa relaxes slightly into the cushions of your couch.

He takes another sip from his can before continuing, “Gödel's first theorem says that no matter how complete you think your rulebook is, there will always be some questions about your city that the rulebook can't answer. There will be statements about numbers and math that are true, but you can’t prove them using just the rules in your book. It’s like having a beautiful, detailed map that still leaves out some important paths.”

Seonghwa takes yet another sip. He knows he should probably stop, but he likes the buzz that’s running through his body. The buzz that helps him calm even with the weight of your head in his lap and the smell of you filling him up. The buzz that encourages him to shut his own eyes, lean his head against the back of the couch, and softly run his unoccupied hand through your scalp. 

The buzz that helps him continue, “The second theorem says that your rulebook can’t prove its own reliability. Pretend you wrote down all the rules and wanted to be absolutely sure that there are no mistakes in your rules. Gödel said that you can't use the rules themselves to prove they are always correct. It’s like… having a detailed instruction manual for building a Lego structure that can’t guarantee it’s free of errors using its own instructions.”

You hear him sip from his can again and open your eyes. Seonghwa’s face was flushed, the tips of nose and ears tinted pink. His throat bobbed as he swallowed down the alcohol. With his eyes still shut, he breathes out deeply. 

“Even with a perfectly designed set of rules, there will always be questions we can't answer and a level of certainty we can't achieve. Almost like nothing has any meaning at all. Call it nihilistic, but I think it’s so comforting that nothing has an answer. We’re just here and nothing really makes sense, but we try so hard to make it make sense… Am I making sense?”

With a reassured nod, you answer “Yeah.”

At the movement, Seonghwa opens his heavy lids, briefly looking at you before turning to the view of the bright, blinking city outside your window. “Some of us work to make it make sense, and we go crazy trying to make it make sense. But others… don’t. And they’re okay with the fact that it doesn’t make sense. They keep going, never wanting it to make sense. And they die, knowing that even if it made any sense, it wouldn’t matter anyways.” Seonghwa empties his can of beer and removes his hand from your hair.

His words have grown slurred, yet you knew they were genuine. It did make sense, even if it really didn’t. Okay, now I’m not making any sense. But Seonghwa’s grown sentimental, and you feel a veil of sadness wash over him.

You sit up and scoot closer to him, watching his calm stature. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this relaxed, or maybe it was dejection, you didn’t know. But let yourself stare at him, taking in the smudged glasses that sat atop his nose bridge. You look at his glossy lips and even glossier eyes that look like they’re filling with tears. 

In an attempt to distract him, you tap his shoulder and ask, “What’s the other one?”

Seonghwa blinks the unfallen tears away and turns to look at you. “Hmm?” His round eyes take in your own and at your question, his pouted lips twitch. 

“The other theorem?”

“Oh, it’s the, uh… it’s the ham sandwich theorem. That theorem guarantees that no matter how components are arranged, there’s always a perfect way to make this equal division with a single cut, but… Can I be honest?” You nod. “I only like that theorem because it’s got a silly name.” 

Temporary shock flashes across your features before you finally laugh, gently shoving his shoulder. Seonghwa laughs, too, and in his tipsy stupor, has left the existentialism he was experiencing moments ago behind. He grabs the last unopened can of beer from your coffee table, snapping it open, before continuing.

“Did you know its Wikipedia page has an image of an actual ham sandwich? Speaking of Wikipedia, it’s not that bad of a resource to use considering they provide links to the actual resources they use—”

He talks and you listen as best as you can. He talks about axioms and Wikipedia and bad students and terrible thesis topics and other theorems, and you just listen. You watch him explain and complain and talk for what seems like hours, and you didn’t mind it least. And that’s when you realize, you weren’t just sexually attracted to Seonghwa, you had a crush on him. 

At the ripe age of 29, you had a crush on your math tutor. You felt like a silly teenager, wondering if you’d be compatible. Maybe I should ask him his birthday? But would you even be compatible outside of unreliable zodiac readings? He probably wanted someone that knew how to solve basic polynomials. He probably wanted someone that was able to do arithmetics without the itching need of a calculator. He doesn’t want somebody stupid like me. No, stop it, you’re better at math now. You’re better because of Seonghwa. Don’t sell him short.

The muddled thoughts are a bit overwhelming to process coherently, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “Do you have a girlfriend?” As soon as the collection of words leave your mouth, you suddenly sober, laser-focused on the words that were to come from Seonghwa.

Seonghwa’s eyes widen at your question, and his cheeks only blush more. “Wha— No!” he vehemently denies, before looking away, embarrassed. He looks at the pile of textbooks that were sitting ignored on your dinner table and plays with the frayed end of his dress shirt, asking, “Do you? Have a boyfriend, I mean?” The question is brave, and you know he wouldn’t have asked it had it not been for the alcohol in his system.

“I don’t have time for a relationship,” you sigh. “Too many work duties.” Seonghwa doesn’t answer, instead hiccuping. 

“Ha, duties.” He can’t believe he’d said that, covering his mouth in embarrassment, looking away from you, before he hiccups again and giggles sheepishly. 

Your insecurity temporarily vanishes at his laughter. Still slightly worried, but thoroughly amused, you ask “Seonghwa, are you drunk?”

He uncovers his mouth. “No, I’m not drunk, you’re drunk.” Still clutching the can of beer in one hand, he folds his hand into a finger gun and shoots it at your concerned face. “Pew, pew,” he says with a giggle, taking another sip. 

You stand from your spot on the couch and reach to grab the can from his hand, “Okay, maybe you’ve had enough—”

In a swift motion, Seonghwa reaches for your forearm and pulls you firmly back into his lap. Although this time, you’re sitting squarely on his semi-hard dick. He buries his head in the crook of your neck and softly inhales. “You always smell so fucking nice,” he says, his eyes shutting at your proximity, taking in your scent. 

His display of strength was new. You’d assumed him to be frail, fluttering in the wind if there were a strong breeze despite his broad chest, but this was a good surprise. It was a great surprise. The hand he’s got wrapped around your forearm is warm and secure. The other hand, that was still unfortunately hanging on to his can of beer, was heavily slung over your thighs. The cursing was also new, but you welcomed it, even rash words sounding sophisticated falling from his intoxicated lips.

Seonghwa mumbles something incomprehensible into your neck, sending tingling vibrations to the tip of your lips. “What?”

Turning his head, with his cheek now resting against your collarbones, he repeats, “I asked if I could kiss you?” Oh. 

Letting yourself indulge in the moment temporarily, you bring your hand up to card your fingers through his soft hair. The action has him relaxing into you even more, and you can feel your resolve crumbling away with every passing second. But still, you answer, “No, you’re drunk.”

“So are you,” he says, nose nuzzling into you. He lowly exhales, his warm breath on your chest sending shivers down your spine.

“Exactly,” you desperately push the desire away. Emboldened, you add, “Besides, I’d rather kiss you when we’re both sober.” At this, Seonghwa backs away slightly, large eyes boring into yours, as if to ask Really? Your eyes subconsciously flicker down to his lips, and you just know exactly what he’d taste like. 

You know you’d taste the gentle vanilla he always smells like. You know you’d taste the coffee from the ancient coffee machine he’s told you about in the teacher’s lounge. And you were certain you’d taste like the one-and-a-half can of beer he’d downed too fast for his own good. 

And you’re so desperate to taste it all, anything, everything, from him. But when you look back up into his drooping eyes, you know, and he knows, that this isn’t the time or place for any of it. 

So with the utmost willpower and determination, you slip out of his grasp, forcing yourself away from his warm body and his strong arms to stand. “Let me drive you home.”

*****

The next week is agonizing. When you drove Seonghwa home that night, he’d been oddly quiet sitting in the passenger seat of your car as you silently followed the navigation to his home. As you were stopped at the occasional red light, your eyes would quickly dart to his figure. His posture was calm, but his mind seemed to be racing with unlimited thoughts. You would look over to find the city lights reflecting off his raven hair, his eyes focused on their gleam. 

And when the light turned green, you would look away, focusing on the road to his house. 

Then, he’d wobbled to his door, thanked you politely, albeit slurred, and bid you a soft goodnight. 

It was well-mannered. It was respectful. And it was most definitely Seonghwa. 

Yet you had a terrible feeling that he wouldn’t be coming back. 

Maybe your recollection was hazy, but thinking back on it, maybe the color had drained from his face when you admitted you wanted to kiss him back. Maybe his eyes had frowned in disgust. Now sober, you couldn’t seem to remember. 

He would have certainly been embarrassed. It wasn’t right. You were, after all, paying him to teach you math. You weren’t even looking for a relationship, your downloaded dating apps sitting abandoned in a folder on your phone.

But maybe this is just who Seonghwa was. Over the past weeks you’ve spent with him at your dining table, you’d come to understand he was reserved. Maybe he doesn’t like jokes like this. Because that was what it was right? It was just a joke. 

No, it wasn’t. You really did want to kiss him. And he wanted to kiss you. But you rejected him. Maybe he was upset about the rejection?

The useless thoughts swirled recklessly in your head, and in the span of the week, you’d convinced yourself that Seonghwa was never coming back.

Friday brings a certain dread. You had met with Seonghwa consistently for the past 8 weeks. What were you going to do today in your empty apartment? God, you should’ve never admitted that you wanted to kiss him. You were still in the middle of understanding synthetic division. You hadn't even gotten to logarithmic functions yet. You were utterly fucked. 

So, as a pick-me-up, you’d left a little earlier from work, citing a terrible excuse, gotten a large tub of ice cream from the grocery store, changed into a silky, not-so-modest night set, and turned on a crime documentary for the remainder of the night. 

And still, not even the harrowing murder being described in gory detail on the scene was enough to distract you.

You look over to your empty dining table and the chair where Seonghwa liked to sit. The area looked sad without him. You’d even only turned on one of your lamps tonight, deciding to sit in the dim loneliness of your apartment. 

With a sigh, you dig your mistakenly grabbed soup spoon into the tub of butterscotch ice cream, looking back at the television to watch the detective’s perspective play out on the screen. 

Several more spoonfuls and narrative testimonies later, your doorbell rings.

You should’ve checked who it was and you definitely should’ve covered up, but with leaping steps, ridiculously large spoon still in hand, you rush to open the door in the hopes that it was who you thought it was. 

Behind your door was Seonghwa, dressed oh-so-lovingly in blue, his messenger bag resting familiarly over his shoulder. He looked surprised when you opened the door, almost as if he hadn’t meant to knock or expected you to answer. 

But you did and he was beyond elated, until his eyes trailed down your body. 

In no mood to cover up, you ignore his bashful gaze and breathlessly say, “Hi.”

His eyes quickly dart up to yours. “Hello.” And then it’s silent. He fiddles with a white and blue bandana that’s tied around his neck and pushes his glasses up his nose. You only stare, unable to come up with any words. What would you say? Should you apologize? Should you tell him you want to kiss him too? You debate the statements when Seonghwa adds, “I’m not drunk.”

What? “Oh, okay,” you respond, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Are you?”

“No,” you shake your head. 

Seonghwa looks down at his neatly tied shoes, and the beret on his head tips forward a little. He looks, for lack of a better word, adorable. The white button down he’s worn inside his jean jacket has clearly been ironed to perfection, and the denim of his jeans fit nicely around his waist. Seonghwa looks back up, tipping his beret back with him and says, “Then, if you still want to, can you kiss me now?”

Oh. 

After the split-second it takes you to process his words, your lips are on his. It’s like the floodgates had burst open. After weeks and weeks and weeks of pent up frustration, the unsatisfying orgasms, and the stupid crush, you were finally kissing Seonghwa. And you were beyond happy to know his lips tasted exactly as you’d imagined. 

Grabbing his neat collar, you pull him inside your apartment, kissing him hungrily, wanting to make up for the week of despair. Once you’ve rid him of his messenger bag, your hands cup his jaw, coaxing his mouth open for your tongue. He gasps in surprise and finds his hands grabbing at your waist. 

When the back of your knees touch your couch, you’re quick to turn around and push Seonghwa onto the cushions. He’s utterly mesmerized, looking up at you in your sheer clothes, craving you. 

With your knees on either side of his lap, you sit against him and search ravenously for his lips. They taste so sweet and so familiar that you take and take, wanting to memorize his taste. They were soft, yearning for more, yet he still hesitates. Seonghwa’s barely able to keep up, kissing you back as best as he could, but he’s quickly running out of breath. Luckily for him, your lips kiss the side of his mouth and begin to move down his jaw. 

Seonghwa’s eyes close at the feeling, and when you experimentally nip into his neck, he opens his eyes with a gasp. His hands come to rest on your thighs, gently squeezing the flesh, which has you humming into his neck. Then, he suddenly spots his bag sitting precariously on the edge of your couch. 

Seonghwa really thought you’d never want to see him again. He was extremely unprofessional. What was he thinking getting drunk like that when he knew he was a lightweight? After sobering up, he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t ever think of you inappropriately again. He had come here in the hopes of either getting on his knees and apologizing or acting like nothing happened. It was dependent on your reaction.

But when you open the door in hardly any clothes, all he wanted to do again was kiss you. 

And he’s glad you did too, but he had an unyielding need to complete his duty as your tutor to help you get through today’s lesson. You were doing so well, and he’d hand-written the worksheet for you to complete today. So, as much as it pains him, he tries to get you to stop. 

“We should—” You grind against him, teasingly, trying to test the waters. You feel greedy, deprived even, cutting off his words to taste him better, but he just feels so good, you can’t help it. He gasps, and you take your chance to slip your tongue back into his mouth. Still, in between kisses, he tries to continue, “We should still try to get some work done.” 

His grip on your thighs felt good, tightening a little at your persistence, and in response, you grind down on his lap harder. Backing away, you pant, “We will, just five more minutes,” before you’re kissing him yet again. 

When five minutes come and go, Seonghwa’s face is red, he can’t seem to catch his breath, and his dick has grown painfully hard. But the cover of his leather bag has come undone, and he can see parts of the worksheets he’s printed off for you. He attempts to pull away, “We really should be practicing your synthetic divi—” but you drag him back in by his collar. When you roll your hips against him, he stutters out the first thing he can think of. “We can play strip poker!”

The idea has you stopping.

“For every question you get right, I’ll take a piece of clothing off,” Seonghwa says.

You smirk and back away from him. “Okay,” is all you say, before you get off him and turn around to walk to the table. Seonghwa straightens his glasses and gets up from your couch. Using his bag as a shield, he covers his embarrassingly hard boner and follows you to the dining table. 

Once you’ve both sat, he takes the worksheet he’d so diligently prepared and his pens, sliding the worksheet towards you. You scan the ten questions on the paper and then look back at Seonghwa to eye him up and down. Grabbing a pencil from your cup, you begin to solve the first problem. 

Seonghwa takes a deep breath, air filling his lungs to capacity, before silently releasing. The strap of your top was slowly sliding down your shoulder, exposing the top of your chest. Get it together, he thinks, looking away. He focuses on the tick-tock of your clock, until you finish and pass the worksheet back to him. 

Clearing his throat, Seonghwa looks over your scribbled work, picking up his blue pen to draw a smiley face as he says, “Good job.” He lifts his denim beret off his heat and places it gently on your kitchen table. 

“No fair,” you pout, eyeing the many layers he’s worn in the middle of summer. “Aren’t you hot?”

“Not at all, next question,” he nods at the sheet. That was a lie, and Seonghwa dearly hoped you couldn’t tell. The warmth in his cheeks wouldn’t leave, and as you turn your attention back to the paper, he swallows heavily. His cock was straining in his boxers, and he was regretting his intricately layered outfit as he discretely squirmed in his chair. 

Some seconds later, you slide the paper back to him. He blinks through your answer, and to your surprise, picks up his red pen to circle your mistake. “You miscalculated when distributing the negative exponents.”

“What?” you snatch the paper back, running through the problem again. He was right. You look up at Seonghwa, and with a shrug, you slip your shirt over your head. 

“What are you doing?” Seonghwa asks, bewildered. 

Faking innocence,  you respond, “If I get one right, you take something off, but if I get one wrong, I take something off. It only seems fair.” 

You’d come to adore Seonghwa’s fashion in these past weeks. It exuded comfort and belonging, and his color combinations were never not admirable. It also helped that looked beautiful no matter what he wore. But today, despite the complementing oceanic and deep blues, you were frustrated at the amount of things he had on. You were simply speeding up the process and hoping that maybe having him equally or more horny than you would do the trick.

Seonghwa was struggling, and it was obvious. Your tits were right there, and god were they something. Seonghwa’s nails dig into his palms, wanting to touch you, squeeze you, something, anything. 

Alcohol bravened him, that much was a fact, but sitting here underneath your piercing gaze and barely covered body, Seonghwa felt like his own body was blazing. He couldn’t get rid of these clothes fast enough. So when you get the next question right, Seonghwa shrugs off his jean jacket and, to your pleasant surprise, unbuttons his dress shirt, letting it rest around his shoulders. 

You move on to the next problem, and Seonghwa’s knees begin to bounce in anticipation. His breathing was deeper, and now he was shamelessly staring. You couldn’t be more turned on even if you tried, yet you continue to solve the fourth problem. 

You’v nearly completed the problem, when Seonghwa watches you hesitate. You twirl the pencil between your fingers and with intention, turn your answer of 31x-4 into a 31x+4. Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You had the correct answer?”

“Oh! Oops,” is all you say before you get up to kick off your sleep shorts. Now in only your sheer underwear, you sit back down and pick the pencil up once again. “Next question?” 

Seonghwa’s eyes trail down to your bare legs and back up your body. He only breathes out deeply, nodding. You decided you liked the game better like this. There was a searing heat radiating off Seonghwa, and you felt a rumbling warmth pooling in your stomach, aching for relief, but you only continued to solve the next problem. 

And get it wrong, of course. 

“You aren’t distributing properly,” Seonghwa says, his eyes glued to your nearly correct answer. He’s unable to look anywhere else, his pants are starting to feel extremely uncomfortable, and he knows you’re doing this on purpose. 

“Oh!” you exclaim again, faking your surprise and standing from your spot, and Seonghwa thinks you’re getting ready to peel off your sorry excuse for underwear, fists tightening at his side. If you were going to be sitting completely naked in front of him, he wouldn’t care if the worksheets got crumpled or if his textbooks were covered in cum, Seonghwa would take you right here, right now on your dining table. His patience was running dangerously thin, and he was, after all, just a man.

But what you did was much, MUCH worse. 

You pad over him, footsteps light, standing beside him. Bending down to look at the worksheet, you squint, moving closer into Seonghwa’s space, your knees bumping his own, until you’ve finally made enough space for yourself to sit snugly on his thighs. Oh, and his hard dick. “Show me where?”

“What?” His voice was strained, and you felt yourself pulsing, your desperation laughably evident. 

“Show me where I messed up,” you say, trying your best not to waver. 

For a moment, Seonghwa doesn’t move, and you’re afraid you’ve pushed too far again. Until his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you flush against his back. 

His jaw is clenched, voice strained, when he repeats, “You aren’t distributing properly,” breath fanning against your neck. Your eyes flutter shut at the warm sensation, thighs squeezing together in search for some form of pleasure. Seonghwa’s low, “Watch me,” has you opening them again, forcing attention to the red pen between his fingers that’s marking over your work. 

He circles the distribution mistakes, voicing his disapproval. “You did so well the week before last, what’s going on?”

“Maybe I just need to take a break. I’ve had a really long day, I think I deserve a break,” you ramble, pushing the worksheet away.

“We’ll keep going until you get one more right,” he pulls the sheet back in front of you. You groan in frustration, unintentionally grinding against Seonghwa. His hold on you tightens, his hips stuttering upwards. 

The friction his jeans creates against your thin panties feels too good to sit through god knows how many more problems, and you let him know, pushing your hips down harder and faster, rutting against the rough denim. You know you’ve wet the material, but embarrassment is the last thing on your mind when you can taste the end of your release.

Only to be stopped by Seonghwa. 

With gentle nips at your neck, he slows your pace, guiding your hips in a steady motion against his, your orgasm fading away. “Not until you get one right.” He’s just as desperate as you, and you revel in the fact, letting the insipid insecurities from the week melt away, before you turn back to the worksheet and start the next problem.

You hunker down as best as you can, the slowness of the pace Seonghwa’s set still distracting you. The stupidly large exponents mock your lack of focus while Seonghwa’s hands at your hips beg for your attention, but you persist, working through the problem. When you finish, you hand him the sheet, finally closing your eyes, relishing in the pleasure, pushing just a tiny bit harder and faster against Seonghwa’s hold.

And you’re so glad he lets you as he reads through your work, taking a longer time than he should be.  

The moment the words good job leave his lips, you’re turning around in his lap, raking your fingernails over his abdomen. His lips quickly find yours and if he weren’t keeping them occupied, you would sigh a big sigh of relief, finally able to have him as you please. 

You know you’re creating smudges on his glasses when your forehead bumps with his as you try to stand, but you can’t find it in yourself to care, dragging him to your couch as fast as you can. In the short distance, Seonghwa shoves his dirtied denim pants off and tosses them over the dining table chair. 

You both land heavily on the couch, lips still intertwined, hands reaching for anything to grab. Seonghwa pulls you onto his lap and keeps your hips attached to his own, but when you feel his cock twitch, you moan, backing away. “Please let me suck you off.”

Heart beating out of his chest, Seonghwa only nods, and you hurriedly get off his lap and onto your knees between his legs. Sliding his boxers down, his dick finally springs free. 

Seonghwa was pretty, and you’d become familiar with the fact. What you weren’t expecting was how pretty his dick would be. He looked heavy, curving inwards towards his stomach, and the tip was a deep shade of pink, begging for attention. Seonghwa shakily breathes out above you, and just for the hell of it, you maintain eye contact as you move in closer to lick the underside of his cock, swirling your tongue when you reach the tip. 

Seonghwa’s only able to look at you for a few seconds before his head tilts back on the couch, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. A soft moan leaves his lips, the sound different from anything you’ve ever heard from him before. He sounds better than he did in your deepest fantasies, and all you want is to hear more. 

So you get to work, adding your hands to the mix. Your swirl and suck, hollowing your mouth, taking as much of him down your throat as you could. 

“Fuck, oh my god, please,” his eyes open to look at you. He couldn’t believe he was here, in the dimmed lights of your living room so warm and cozy, the aroma of your home so comforting, and you, sitting so prettily between his legs, so eager to make him cum. 

Suddenly, as he’s deep in your throat, you reach for the balled fists at his sides. He uncurls them at your silent request, and his eyes widen as you drag them over to your head. He almost cums, but lets his fingers weave between your hair, simply resting there, letting you go at your own pace. 

But you’re unsatisfied with this, and as a result, suck a little bit harder and take him a little bit deeper. When he twitches again, you know you’ve got him. A long, drawn-out “Fuck,” leaves Seonghwa’s lips, his hands grip your hair tightens, holding you down on his cock as he cums. The sound resonates within you, the deepness of his voice making you drip on the floor. The taste of his cum collects in your mouth, and you swallow it all.

When he comes down from his high, his hands are quick to cup your face as you’re moving to sit beside him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked if I could—”

“Don’t worry, I wanted you to,” you tell him, catching your breath. 

At your response, he shyly looks away. The sight of Seonghwa makes you want to jump his bones. His pupils are blown out, and the fucked out expression on his face is beyond sexy. His usually neat hair is tousled into a poofy mess, and his lips are plump from your assault. But you wait for him to collect his thoughts before you make another move, his overwhelmed body inhaling and exhaling deeply. 

“Can I return the favor?” The confidence in his words was out of place, but you welcomed it with an eager smile. And with that, his lips find yours again. 

Your underwear is discarded quickly as Seonghwa makes his way down your neck and the valley of your breasts. He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and places the other over the backrest of your couch.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” he says, reaching the skin of your thighs. “I’ve thought about you a lot more than I should have these past few weeks.” That was an understatement; he’d felt starved of you, only having his recollections and your LinkedIn to keep him satisfied. You’d been the only thing on his mind. 

“God, that’s so good to know,” you respond, rolling your hips against his face. 

This time, Seonghwa’s eyes widened, not in shock, but in realization. You’d thought about him as much as he did about you. In the pause, he looks at the messied sight of your drooling pussy and realizes that that was his doing. Overcome with vigor, he starts strong, licking deep into you, nose nudging your clit in the best way. 

The pleasure feels immediately overwhelming, and you tangle your hands through his already messy hair and tug at his scalp. “Fuck, Hwa,” you cry out, fingernails lightly scratching at his scalp.

The nickname has him wrapping his arms around your thighs and licking past your folds to suck on your clit, teeth gently grazing it. You sharply inhale at the euphoric feeling, crying out his name again and again and again. 

Your hips are stuttering, thighs shaking, trying to buck into Seonghwa’s face. The movement slightly irritates him, and he just wants you to stop moving, but he’s unable to back away from your addicting flavor. So in one selfish move, with his arms still tightly wrapped around your thighs, he lifts your hips upwards off the couch, coming to sit on his knees. 

You think you could have cum from the display of strength alone, but when Seonghwa starts repeatedly lapping away at your pussy, all you can do is whine, “Oh my god, yes, yes, yes!” Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, and the unbearable string in your stomach is about to snap at the burning pleasure. 

Your moans are helpless and loudly unforgiving, and Seonghwa loves every minute of it. His prodding tongue explores inside of you and at your pulsing, Seonghwa sets you down gently on the cushions. He wraps his mouth around two of his own fingers and runs them along your pussy. You’re whining again, hips bucking upwards now that there’s nothing there to stop them. When his long fingers are nicely curled inside of you, you clamp down on them instantly with a cry. 

“More. Give me more please, Hwa.” And Seonghwa does. He repeatedly curls his fingers inside of you, applying pressure to your weeping gummy spot, and keeps his tongue busy at your throbbing clit. With his other hand, he alternately squeezes your tits. You feel like you’re on fire, every fiber of your being drowning in ecstasy. Your building orgasm is at its tipping point when Seonghwa once again grazes your clit with his teeth, and soon after, it spills over.

Your release has you seeing stars, and for a moment, your ears begin to ring. And throughout it all, Seonghwa doesn’t stop. While his fingers have left, his tongue keeps circling your folds, mumbling words you aren’t able to hear just yet against you. Your limbs feel limp, but your thighs begin to shake again at the overstimulation. When the ringing subsides, you hear, “You taste so fucking good, please.” His ardent need had you shaking, the same repetition of words falling from his lips, the vibration building your second orgasm already. 

You jolt at the stimulation, and Seonghwa eats you up, lapping, licking, and sucking until your thighs close around his head and you cum again.

This time, Seonghwa retreats from your pussy, letting you ride out your back-to-back orgasms, and places his small kisses up your thighs and around your stomach. You’re panting, trying to calm your beating heart. When you’ve come to, Seonghwa is sucking a hickey at your collarbones. 

You card your fingers through his hair and pull him towards your lips. He gladly kisses you back, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. 

He backs away, giving you a chaste peck before asking, “Was… that okay?” You don’t know where the man from a few moments ago has gone. Right now, Seonghwa’s blushing again, as if he hadn’t just given you the best orgasms of your life. 

“Yes, Professor,” you tease him. He nervously chuckles, and in genuine awe of him, you add “That was more than okay.” The red of his face deepens, and he looks to the marks he’s left on your body. When he looks down, you stop him. “Oh, your glasses,” you look at the smeared mess of fingerprints, sweat, and your cum on the frame and glass. You extend your hands to take them off, but Seonghwa stops you. 

“No, wait. I… I wanna be able to see you,” he says quietly. You pause to look at him, the adoration present in his eyes too endearing to take. This time, while you don’t have any words, he softly kisses you. The kiss turns desperate in no time, and the softness is short-lived when he backs away to spot the sight of your wet pussy again. 

Quick to grab a condom, he rolls it down his length, while lips darken the marks on your neck. He pulls back to look down at you. You were so much more beautiful than the confines of his imagination. You were just as, if not more, thoroughly fucked out. Bruises were sure to form on your thighs where Seonghwa’s strong grip had been, and the both of you were littered with love bites. 

With a deep breath, he runs his pretty cock along the length of your soaking folds, relishing your sharp gasp when he slows at your clit. 

“Please Hwa. Please, please, please” you whine, rolling your hips into him. And Seonghwa gives you what you want, slowing his thick cock into you. The stretch feels heavenly, and the two of you sigh once he’s fully situated inside. Seonghwa feels drunk with your hot velvet walls pulsing around him, and he so badly wants to fuck into you thoughtlessly, getting lost in your walls. 

But he waits, controlling his breathing and keeping his lips occupied at the base of your neck and his hands at your hips. 

It doesn't take you too long to give him the go-ahead, and with that, Seonghwa starts moving. You rest wrap your hands around his pumped forearms and let your eyes shut. His thrusts are languid at first, letting you get used to him and him to you, but they speed up in no time, your orgasms building with ease. 

Soenghwa grinds into you, and beyond his glasses, you catch his perverse eyes. He wanted to live out every fantasy he had of you, and you of his, letting you do whatever you want to him and vice versa. He feels as if there isn’t enough time in the world each time he sinks into you, and with that, Seonghwa’s thrusts quicken. 

The curve of his cock reaches so deliciously deep inside you, you feel tears welling in your eyes. His grip on your hips is so tight, and the slap of your skin against his has you repeating Seonghwa’s name like a mantra.  

Sliding your hands down from his arms, you bring them to your stomach, and whimper exasperatedly at what you find. You take one of the hands he’s got gripping your hips and drag it up to your stomach, letting him feel what you felt. He gasps at the feeling, slowing his thrusts down, feeling his cock under your skin. When the realization simmers away, carnal hunger takes its place, and Seonghwa pumps into you harder, this time pressing down on where his cock bulges from your skin. 

You gasp at the feeling, eyes widening at the rough feeling. Seonghwa eyes your expression, and when finds nothing but desire, he hikes your legs up his shoulders and continues to bully his way into your pussy, wanting to mold you to the shape of every ridge of his cock, making you his. 

You whimper pathetically, completely at his mercy, letting your tears finally fall as you take everything he’s giving you diligently. 

After that, it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum. 

Sweat drips from the sloping tip of Seonghwa’s nose onto your chest, making you come to. Seonghwa’s awkwardly balanced on his elbows, trying to not put his body weight on you or fall off the couch. You scoff at the ridiculous position, and pull Seonghwa into your chest, eyes lulling with sleep. 

He can hear your heartbeat slow, and when it seems you’ve fully come down, Seonghwa says, “We should get cleaned up.”

“We will, just five more minutes,” you repeat. 

Seonghwa quietly laughs, relaxing against you. In the meantime, his hands find yours, fingertips ghosting your knuckles, sending a spark up your spine. “Can I do all the things I’ve been thinking about?” he asks, still shrouded by a thin veil of insecurity. 

Your arms tighten around, and you smile. “We’ve got the entire weekend, unless you’ve got somewhere else to be?” you tease, intertwining your hands in his. 

Seonghwa squeezes your hand, thumb brushing your wrists. “I don’t.”

“Then, yes,” you smile, placing a kiss on his forehead. 

His lips turn upwards, and he smiles. Kissing your neck, he rests his cheek against your chest. There’s a pregnant pause, before he says, “What if a couple of those things have to happen in my office?”

Author's Note II: Yay to those who made it all the way through! There will NOT be a second part or bonus parts for ToA, which technically makes this my first one-shot! I'm really proud of this fic would LOVE some feedback! Much love <3

taglist: @teez-the-time , @vcutparis , @oddracha , @chngbnwf , @syubseokie , @jycas , @pieckes , @hwa-stars , @dawn-iscozy , @kirbrary , @starboyyoongi

A NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD ☆ | ATEEZ SERIES

— featuring ot8!ateez in iconic HOLLYWOOD romance and rom-com movies

— TICKET BOOTH IS CLOSED! 🎟️ : the movies are about to start! all fics will have MATURE CONTENT! MDNI!

sit back, relax, grab your popcorn and tissues, and enjoy the silver screen . . .

THE PARENT TRAP ☆ | KHJ

TROPE: exes to lovers! divorced!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .

— IN THEATRES

DIRTY DANCING ☆ | PSH

TROPE: bad boy!seonghwa, enemies to lovers!au , 60s!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, angst, crack

THAT WAS THE SUMMER before JFK got shot, before the beatles came, and when you were working part time at your aunts summer resort. That was also the summer you met resident heart breaker and cocky entertainment crew member, Park Seonghwa. Remind yourself why you’re suddenly dance partners with him again? . . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

PRETTY WOMAN ☆ | JYH

TROPE: dilf!yunho x formerstripper!reader, strangers to lovers!au, contract lovers!au,

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst

LIVING IN BEVERLY HILLS comes with its perks. But for two different people such as yourself and multimillionaire business tycoon, Jeong Yunho, both of you can’t seem to find what you’re looking for in the so called ‘Land of Dreams’. So the proposal is simple really… let him spoil you with money, jewelry and clothes while in return, you stay by his side. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

MR AND MRS KANG ☆ | KYS

TROPE: marriage!au, established relationship, spy!au, assasin!au

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, ANGST, crack

WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT picture perfect suburban neighbourhood couple, Mr. and Mrs. Kang would be at each others necks trying to kill each other first. You’ve both come this far in your marriage while hiding your secret identities, but it looks like only one person can remain standing. I guess you both did promise “in sickness and in health”. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

ROMAN HOLIDAY ☆ | CS

TROPE: royalty!au, princess!reader x reporter!san, strangers to lovers!

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst

AS CROWN PRINCESS, you’re on a tightly scheduled tour of European capital cities. But after an especially rough day in Rome, you sneak out of the embassy to explore the so called Eternal City, running into no other than celebrity news reporter, Choi San, looking out for his next big royal scandal. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU ☆ | SMG

TROPE: college!au, stoner!mingi, enemies to lovers!au, fakedating(?)au, y2k aesthetic

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER Wooyoung is desperate in getting you, his older sister in college, to date so that he can finally date in highschool. The options for potential candidates are scarce, considering men flock away like birds the second you’re near. Good thing campus stoner and weirdo, Song Mingi is the same as well. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS ☆ | JWY

TROPE: fashioncolumnist!reader x advertiser!wooyoung, y2k aesthetic, fake dating(?)au, enemies to lovers!au, mutual pining

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, crack, slice of life

LISTEN, IF IT MEANS getting a promotion at your editorial company as a news journalist instead of pop culture and lifestyle columnist, you’d do anything. And that includes pretending to be the most annoying and clingiest girlfriend to some guy for 10 whole days. But just so you know, Wooyoung likes clingy. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

ROMEO & JULIET ☆ | CJH

TROPE: unrequited love, star crossed lovers!au, mutual pining, secret romance (shakespeare be rolling in his grave rn)

TAGS: nsfw, smut, fluff, ANGST

FOR CENTURIES, a plague of hatred and hostility has been present in the relations between the House of Choi and your own. You know you can’t be together, but yet why do you keep catching that dark haired boy staring at you so longingly? And why do you want him just as bad?. . .

— not yet in theatres . . .

a/n: for updates, follow my blog! this will be a work-in-progress so I ask for your support:(🙏

taglist: @vent-stink @dazzlingstarrs @vcutparis @xpixie @potatos-on-clouds @showingmafandomlove @bibbleypoof @kpop-will-kill-me @avantalem @beabatiny @gabrielle-brugger @nsixns @amaranth1ne @stayminho @myblovedjyh @kkeshia @rebekah-reads @yoonbroom @4kwp @butterflydemons @iwaizumiismybae @soobinsputnik @stayatinykatsy @atitties @justconniez @kitten4sannie @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @cheolsthicthighs @morethingsfandom @geminiml95 @byuntrash101 @quailbagutte @syubseokie @newworldwritings @urmom26john @sleepy-kat-here @pearltinyy @hjshyhyssnmgwyjh @cursedeastern @starryunho @piratekingateez2001 @jiminbility @paumll @drinkingrumandcocacola @roomsofangel @channies-bbg-room @meanaonthemoon @teeztopia @pommelex @kiln9z @sanhwalvr @youresolivlie @edawg77 @a-0206 @summer-gyu @bvidzsoo @yoongzsmile28 @tournesol155

taglist became too long so find the second taglist here💀 no longer taking requests

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive

demon!mingi x human!reader

fantasy au (inspired by howl's moving castle)

word count: ~26k

genres: fluff, really angsty, suggestive, mention of hostage situation, violence warnings, whiplash warning lol

synopsis: you finally run away from the clutches of your stepmother and encounter mingi, infamously known as 'the child of shadows'. you join his gang of three- the high healer wooyoung and the white flame seonghwa and start living with them. you find out mingi is cursed to share a body with the shadow demon that goes by the name erebos and start falling for it and mingi eventually, though tragic consequences await you as you find out more about the demon's curse.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we were writing diff fics side by side on docs and messed up the tenses so bad)

The last thing you remembered as you woke up after what had to be another fainting spell was that your wrists had been tied together and you were locked in the tower of your house– but as you looked around and found nothing but the woods and greens of the forests, you started to feel dread creep up your chest and bubble out in the form of a short sob.

You spent only a few seconds trying to recall how you got here- you had run away from home and this time, you had succeeded, but now you needed to get as far away from the town as possible. You got up, not bothering to brush the leaves and dirt off your cloak and instead tried to figure out what direction you had been aiming for- the setting sun. Thankfully, it wasn’t dark just yet so you followed the rays of the sun and started running a little more carefully this time, head still dizzy from the overwhelmingness of the situation.

Sieun’s plan was perfect. She was one of the servants back at the castle house, a place that had once been your home when your father was still alive- under the reign of your stepmother, though, everything had gone to hell. She was the only one who had dared to help you escape and succeeded. You did not want to think about what had happened to those who failed.

You licked your dry lips and wondered if the sound of water you could hear was actually a stream or just a bait- afterall, this was a town of mages. It might be a trick to lure people- but…

There was someone else in your town now, someone feared by mages and humans alike. ‘The Child of Shadows’, they called him among his many other names. You had only heard rumours about him and you weren’t sure if they were true. What you did know was that as a mere human, you had to avoid him at absolutely all costs. You’d had enough of living in the shadows already.

The sun was starting to set so you decided to find shelter and followed the sound of the stream. The running water was cool to touch and you washed your face and hands before drinking it. You searched in the pockets of your cloak, finding a piece of bread and devouring it in a few bites, almost choking on it- you felt a sudden sense of dread when you realised that something about this whole situation was off-

Silence. It was awfully silent- you didn’t realise when the birds stopped chirping and the bugs stopped buzzing- not even the sound of a leaf in the air. The water and the unsteady beats of your heart were the only thing you could hear. You gulped, trying to recall when exactly the forest fell silent when you heard the sounds of leaves rustling behind you. You whipped your head around and pulled the knife out of your sleeve, pointing it at-

Not one, but a bunch of soldiers. You immediately put your knife back.

“Are you lost, miss?” One of them asked, a middle aged man with a unique moustache. “You look pale.”

“No, I… I’m travelling so I just stopped to eat-”

“Travelling? Alone?” Another soldier said, not buying your story. “Miss, you know the protocols, right? We would need to see your identification.”

This was it. 

Without any identification, travelling alone? They were going to put you behind bars. That would be better than going back to the dungeons of your house, you thought, as the little spark of hope you had been harbouring ever since you escaped started to dim-

“She’s not alone,” a deep, raspy voice boomed and for a moment you froze, wondering if it had reverberated inside you. You found yourself unable to turn, instead letting the source of the voice come in your vision.

Nothing about him screamed normal, from his ragged appearance to his unmistakable dark aura, and even the soldiers took a step back. You remained frozen as he passed you a glance- such sharp eyes- and dug something from his bag, showing it to the soldiers. They looked from the card to you and back, straightening, and as if a spell had been casted over them, they bowed and turned back to join their squad.

The man who had just saved you turned and you scanned him again- hair swept back in black and blue spikes adding more sharpness to his pointy features, the dark cloak on his broad body not helping with the air he exuded-

“Who are you?” You managed to ask, taking a step back and finally understanding why the soldiers had too.

He passed an awkward smile and held his bag close. “Just a passerby.”

“What did you show to the soldiers? And where did you come from?”

“So many questions for someone who’s travelling alone, in this state,” he glanced at your rags hidden under your cloak before stepping towards you and you reflexively pointed your knife at him, making him scoff in amusement. “I’m sorry but this knife won’t do much to me,” he waved a hand and the knife turned to ashes and you gaped at it.

“You’re a mage…” your heart sank to your feet- you really were done for this time. He shrugged and started down on the path, turning to you after a few steps.

“Aren’t you gonna follow me?”

You hated how his voice made you obey instantly- more out of curiosity than fear, which was new considering the stories you’d heard about mages. Your own experience with mages was not the best either. You cleared your throat, falling just a step behind him and matching his pace from there. “Where are we going?”

“Where are you going? You seemed to have run away,” he said casually. You wondered if he often encountered runaways on the road.

“I just need to get as far away from this town as possible,” you almost shivered and he nodded.

“I’m travelling anyway. I don’t mind if you join- as long as you don’t make too much noise.”

“I can be as silent as a pin,” you told him and he glanced at you in amusement. 

“Aren’t you scared of travelling with a stranger?” You ignored that, wondering what you would do if he tried something with you. However, his shoulders shook from laughter and he said, “Relax. I’m not alone either- I have company.”

You should have known that by company he meant more mages, and you were cursing internally at the thought of being surrounded by mages, because what if someone decided to take advantage of the fact that you were a mere human? Your stepmother had, even when she was human herself- and all she wanted was for you to hand over your assets to her. You wouldn’t put it past this bunch to not do the same.

What you didn’t expect was how incredibly normal they seemed. Their appearance? Not so much, but the way they approached the mage who accompanied you? You frowned as you watched their comfortable interaction- you couldn’t sense anything from them that would give you a hint of who they were, but you wondered if you were the only one who felt that dark, crushing aura of your companion. 

“And who’s our new guest?” The man with white hair approached with a gentle smile though he passed a sceptical glance at your companion. “Another one, Mingi? Already?” 

“What do you mean, already, it’s been a few decades. Don’t scare her off,” the shorter one tsk-ed at him and approached you with the warmest smile. “I’m Jung Wooyoung- you can call me Wooyoung. You might know me as the High Healer-”

“Wooyoung-”

“The High Healer?” You gasped.

Wooyoung folded his arms. “Yes?”

You looked at the other two in disbelief but when they didn’t react, you shook your head, trying to make sense of it. “You’re the High Healer.”

“I am,” Wooyoung’s voice was low and contained a hint of worry. “What’s the matter?”

You had been out to find him.

“Nothing, just-” you looked at the man who had accompanied you. “Who are you then?”

“Song Mingi,” he told you and you raised a brow, expecting more but he didn’t give in. You looked at the white-haired man.

“Park Seonghwa. The White Flame,” he muttered and you nodded- you had heard of him, alright. The Fallen Angel. You were wondering if that really was the case or if it was just a title he earned because he looked like one. “Did you lose your way while travelling?”

“I ran away,” you straightened- might as well pretend not to be a coward than quivering in their company. The healer hooted at that and you were once again surprised by the man’s behaviour- nothing like your father had told you. “You’re not how I imagined you to be.”

“Ah, I get that a lot,” he winked, “Everyone imagines a boring old balding man with a long beard, don’t they?”

“I mean,” you shrugged. “You are supposed to be old, aren’t you?”

“I’m not even that old,” he waved his hand dismissively. “They’ve got multiple centuries over me- they’re older.”

“Centuries?” You gaped at Mingi- you weren’t surprised about the White Flame- he was as old as time itself, and you wondered if part of his magic was exuding a calm air so you wouldn’t panic in his presence. Because nothing about the White Flame shook you to the core like Mingi’s presence did. 

“That’s enough,” Mingi exhaled. “Let’s go home.”

You followed the three, wondering what was up with this odd bunch- the White Flame and the High Healer living in the same place didn’t make sense at all. So who was this Song Mingi? You tried recalling anything that rung a bell, but-

You paused when the three abruptly stopped and watched Mingi wave a hand in the air, and what you saw next took your breath away- it was as if a layer of fog had been lifted and you could suddenly see-

“That’s your home?”

Ruins was what it was. A house falling apart on itself. It was as if someone had gathered planks of wood and nailed them wherever they could- there were windows, yes, but everything was absolutely crooked.

Mingi turned slowly to glare at you, once again making you gulp. Wooyoung butted in between the two of you. “The inside is not that bad, I promise.”

Mingi and Seonghwa ignored the two of you, talking in hushed voices as they started to go inside. You stood frozen in place, feeling an odd sense of danger and calm battling for dominance within you. Wooyoung nudged you along but when you stopped again, he asked, “Do you not want to come inside?”

“Should I?” You locked eyes with him. “I’ve heard you’re a good person, High Healer.”

“I’ve heard that too,” he said with a smug smile.

“People- humans trust you. You help them, right?” When he nodded, you continued. “Tell me then, would I regret joining the three of you? Even if it’s for just one night?”

“If it’s for one night? Not really. You could be on your way tomorrow. But if you choose to stay,” Wooyoung pursed his lips. “I can’t guarantee you won’t regret it.”

“Well, at least you’re candid about it,” you started walking and Wooyoung grinned. “Just know I wouldn’t be walking towards that ‘house’ right now if it weren’t for you.”

“You seem to know me,” Wooyoung’s eyes twinkled. “Have we met?”

You simply smiled- he wouldn’t know you. This was your first time meeting him as well, however, your father was acquainted with him. You decided not to mention it to him right now.

The house did look better inside, you had to agree- it was a mess, still, but it did look like people were actually living in it. Seonghwa was in the kitchen and you tried to let the image of the White Flame doing dishes sink in. Wooyoung was laughing loudly at your expressions and you awkwardly glanced around, taking off your cloak and sitting by the fireplace. 

“I always get such a kick out of whenever someone sees Seonghwa in the kitchen,” Wooyoung wiped his eyes, handing you a glass of what looked like orange juice which you gladly accepted. “Who would have thought the White Flame was obsessed with keeping his kitchen clean, right?”

“I don’t know where all of you got the impression that I would be doing something else,” Seonghwa muttered. “I have a house to manage and two kids to take care of.”

“Two children?” You frowned and Wooyoung guiltily raised his hand, you realised he was referring to Wooyoung and Mingi as the two kids. You looked at Wooyoung, “Well, where are the others?”

“What others?”

“You said you get a kick out of people watching Seonghwa in the kitchen. Do you often have visitors or are there others here?”

When Seonghwa and Wooyoung met eyes and shared a look, you knew whatever he’d tell you would be a lie so you decided to ask something else. “What happens to those who decide to stay with you for longer than a day?”

“You’re very sceptical of us,” Seonghwa tossed the washcloth in the sink and folded his arms as he leaned against the counter to almost glare at you. “If you’re going to keep asking questions when we’ve given you shelter, you might as well leave at the crack of dawn.”

And, there it was. Your suspicions that Seonghwa was making a conscious effort to emanate a calm air were confirmed when you felt a shift in the air and something heavy started settling in your heart, making your throat feel tight. Wooyoung called Seonghwa’s name in warning.

“Let’s be patient with a curious guest, we don’t often get that,” he waved dismissively and Seonghwa went back to fiddling with the utensils. You didn’t realise how hard you were clutching the glass until Wooyoung patted your back. “Don’t mind him. He’s so old he gets cranky sometimes. Would you like to take a tour of the mansion?”

“Mansion?” You almost laughed and he grinned.

“What better name to call this beauty?” He looked around and as if on cue, a pipe at the far end of the room burst, spraying water and startling all of you. Seonghwa muttered a curse under his breath before he went to examine it and you turned to the healer in amusement.

“Sure,” you smiled. “I would like a tour.”

—--------------------

The thing about mages was that they did not care for humans. They really, really didn’t- they were not humans. They would not understand the simple human struggles, such as why they always think selfishly- humans had a shorter lifespan after all, unlike most mages. Mages also didn’t quite understand that some humans had more things to worry about than death- there were more important things.

Such as finally being able to live.

You were sitting in front of the fireplace in the middle of the night, not quite sleepy. You reckoned it was because you still hadn’t made a decision- did you want to leave? What would you do if you left? How far could you make it travelling on your own, really? Sooner or later, someone was going to take advantage of you and you would meet a fate worse than death- something similar to what your life had been before you finally ran away from home.

And if you decided to stick with these mages… 

“What are you doing here?” 

You turned to the source of voice, identifying his presence first. Mingi. Why did his voice feel different this time? You straightened your dress and posture, not feeling a need to answer, wondering if it was the lack of sleep that was making you hear things-

“I asked you something.”

You frowned as you looked at him again- yes, he was Mingi, but why did he sound… different? 

“Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“I thought you’d know that- it is you all who gave me the ultimatum,” you narrowed your eyes as you scanned him- he was wearing a cloak. Was he going out at this hour of the night? 

“Ah, did we?” He suddenly sounded… cockier. You watched him step closer and pick something from the mantel and bury it in his pockets before you could see it. When he turned, you noticed the colour of his eyes now that the fire illuminated half of his face-

His eyes were almost glowing.

“Say, would you like some fresh air?” He suggested and you all but gaped at his sudden change of demeanour. 

“Why would I go out to get some fresh air with someone I don’t even know at this hour of the night?”

“Well, you are staying in a house with three strangers who just happen to be mages, aren’t you?” He shifted his weight to one leg. “I told them not to let more of you humans in, but they always insist it’s for ‘the better’.”

“Why?” You dared to ask.

“Why would mages welcome human company, right?” Mingi scoffed. “Think about that before you go to sleep tonight, little bird.”

Even though your heart sank, you dared to ask, “Would you mind if I stayed?”

His almost devilish smirk made you wish you had never asked that. He stepped closer, slowly, until he was right in front of you and you had to crane your neck to meet his eyes. You let him trace the side of your face, feeling in your bones first that this wasn’t the person you had met in the woods, not the one with the warm smile who had saved you, not the one who had been so hesitant to meet your eyes.

This wasn’t Song Mingi.

“Who are you?” You almost whispered and his eyes twinkled.

“I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird,” his voice sounded ancient, spreading like the very shadows he mentioned around you. He patted your cheek once, almost condescendingly, before disappearing and you wondered just what you were getting into. “And you should fly away when you still have the chance.”

You, of course, decided to stay. Simply out of spite.

You have always been like this. When your father died, you were far too young to exercise your authority and influence as the inheritor of the noble title and all of his assets, and you let your stepmother take advantage of you as you succumbed to grief. But as the grief started becoming something like background and you finally realised how you were trapped, you decided you would never let anyone get the better of you again.

Your stepmother had treated you like an inconvenience, and as you started rebelling, it took the shape of an ugly war. You, however, did not have anyone who had your back. Your stepmother had influence around town and she used that, hired mages to put wards around her house to keep you from leaving. You always asked her why she wouldn’t simply let you go. Perhaps, she was afraid she would lose. But it got to the point that you wondered if she was paranoid- especially when she started using numbing potions on you, locking you in a room in the tower. 

Now that you hadn’t had that potion in two days, it was as if you were finally regaining your senses. The world was clearer and you felt awake for once. You owed it all to Sieun who had gained your stepmother’s trust, only to pretend to give you those numbing potions and a chance to run away. You could do nothing but pray she wasn’t locked in that tower like you, that she didn’t meet a fate worse than you did.

So maybe, it was spite. Maybe you simply didn’t want to be told what to do anymore that you decided to stick with this odd group of mages and see where it took you- after all, you had nowhere to go.

But it was also slightly because you knew you could trust the healer because your father had told you so, and because you were so intrigued about who this Song Mingi was. He had to be someone you had heard about- he felt too powerful to be a simple mage. He was too old to be a simple mage. The White Flame you had heard enough tales about. But…

A knock sounded on your door and you, who had been in the middle of making the bed, cleared your throat. The door opened and a mess of white hair greeted you, eyes curious. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t run away in the night,” Seonghwa commented and you shrugged. “Slept well?”

“Not really, but that’s the nerves,” you finished straightening the duvet, glancing around. “And might also be the abundance of spiders in your ‘beautiful mansion’.”

“Ah, I swear I cleaned this room two days ago but the spiders keep coming,” he stood awkwardly in the doorway and you had to stop and stare at him- was he actually taking you seriously? “So you decided to stay?”

“For now,” you nodded slowly. “If you’re fine with it?”

“Oh, I don’t care,” Seonghwa admitted. “Wooyoung would love to talk to someone else other than the two of us too.”

“And… Mingi?”

Seonghwa raised a brow and you felt a shift in the air that almost made you bend. You frowned in confusion but Seonghwa was eyeing you knowingly. “Did you talk to him in private or something?”

“In the middle of the night…” you told him. “He basically told me to go away.”

“Ah. But you’re staying?”

“Yes,” you folded your arms. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “But a word of advice for you- stay in your own room during the night. You don’t want to see things that you won’t like.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “That’s for me to decide, but thank you.”

Seonghwa shook his head in mild amusement. “I guess the potion is wearing off.”

“You can tell?” You wowed. Of course he could. He was a mage. 

“You’re not the same person who almost cowered at our feet,” he tilted his head up a fraction, making you wonder if he was looking down at you- in every sense possible. “I like you better this way, but now I know what to do if you become too much-”

“You would not-”

Seonghwa paused- you sounded like a wounded animal but there was a hint of threat in there which made him intrigued despite himself. Somehow, he could relate to you in that moment, share the sense of once being trapped by your own people even though a lifetime had passed for him. 

“I would not,” he assured you, this time without a smile. “Join us for breakfast?”

You exhaled somewhat in relief and followed him downstairs, surprised to see everyone on the table. You wondered if ‘breakfast’ was a regular thing here. You could not remember the last time you sat at a table to eat- you were too used to seating yourself in corners. 

And you could not move when Seonghwa pushed out a chair for you. When he cleared his throat, you finally came back to your senses and sat, studying the others. Wooyoung waved at you and Mingi seemed to be too interested in his almost finished plate.

“Help yourself,” Wooyoung pushed a plate of eggs towards you. “I’m a good cook.”

“I’m sure you are…” you felt the need to take a nibble first, see if you could detect the faint scent of lavender in it which was a key ingredient for any numbing potion- however, you knew that the White Flame could probably read your thoughts from your body language alone. He was called the ‘Seer of the Hearts’ for a reason. So you stomped on your hesitation and took a bite-

Of the most heavenly eggs you could have ever tasted.

“There’s no way you did not mix magic in that,” you muttered to yourself, mostly, but Wooyoung caught that.

“I do not mix magic with my daily routine, I’m a healer,” Wooyoung laughed. “I’m glad you think it’s good. People here don’t really appreciate good food and the effort behind it, you know?”

You glanced at Mingi who sported a faint smile. “Tastes normal enough to me.”

You knew they were teasing each other- bickering back and forth so naturally in an argument about who was the best cook in the house. You couldn’t help but wonder if that is how they usually were, and Mingi-

He sounded like the same person you had met in the woods. Not the one who talked to you last night. No hint of that cockiness nor a sharp glint in the eyes. He sounded warm.

“Well,” Mingi, who had just finished eating, spoke out loud, seemingly addressing you and you straightened, breaking out of your trance. “Have you decided if you want to stay?”

“So the decision is in my hands?” You asked with a raise of brow, not able to hold yourself back. Seonghwa looked at you in warning but you ignored that. “I thought you decided for me last night.”

And then something flashed in his eyes making you wonder if you were imagining it. “Sorry if it seemed that way.”

Again, you were confused. “I think I’ll stay after all, and see what exactly are those shadows that I should fear.”

That made Mingi drop his fists on the table as he almost glared at you.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mingi-”

“No,” Mingi interrupted Wooyoung. “If she’s staying, she should know who I am. She should know to stay away from me- and she shouldn’t be here for much longer. There’s only so much I can do about this.”

You wiped your hands as you processed what he said- you had asked him who he was last night.

“Take it slow,” Seonghwa reminded him softly. “We do not make our guests feel unwelcome, Mingi, you know that.” 

Mingi slumped back in his seat then, muttering an apology and you did the same, making the High Healer stifle his smile. “Kids, both of you. You should know that Mingi is publicly called ‘The Child of Shadows’ though, before you decide to stay. We don’t want you to think that we tricked you into staying or something.”

Seonghwa groaned loudly but you couldn’t hear that, because-

The Child of Shadows. 

You had heard enough tales about him. The mage who could make you think you were blind in broad daylight. The mage who drove the best insane, the one who made you face years worth of nightmares in a second. The Cursed, the Prophesied, they also called him, though you had heard quite a bit of variations of that one. Cursed why? Prophesied to do what? The question remained even after centuries-

Centuries over you, these three mages had. You had never felt smaller in your life before, so insignificant, so-

When Seonghwa called your name, that’s when you broke out of your trance. You found yourself out of breath and locked eyes with Mingi again. 

I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird. And you should fly away when you still have the chance.

His words from last night rang in your head and you sighed internally. It was a miracle you were alive right now, but then you supposed if you didn’t encounter them, you would have been dead anyway. So you cleared your throat, reeling yourself back in. “I’m here.”

“I understand that you are scared,” Seonghwa smiled. “He doesn’t have the best reputation, does he?”

“None of you have, except The High Healer,” you looked at Wooyoung who smiled proudly. “I just don’t know what to believe. I know your magic is keeping me calm- part of it anyway,” you admitted to Seonghwa who seemed genuinely surprised that you knew. “But I don’t know what to expect.”

Seonghwa looked at Mingi who kept his face void of any emotions. “The Child of Shadows… There's a very simple reason he is called that. And he’s not as bad as they made him to be- I can vouch for that.”

“I’d like to believe that,” you almost whispered and Mingi met your eyes, something like understanding passing between you two- you had no idea what exactly you understood of Mingi now, but somehow, you weren’t sour about the events of last night anymore. “Mages must struggle with their own magic too, as humans struggle with… being human.”

Seonghwa smiled knowingly at Mingi who awkwardly stood up, glancing at the three of you. “I have some business in town so if you need something, let me know now. I’ll be back in the evening and then we will move.”

“Move where?” You asked.

“We’re travellers,” Wooyoung sighed dramatically. “We don’t have a place we can call home.”

“But what about this… mansion?” You asked, making the three chuckle. 

You were in for a surprise. In the evening, after you spent the rest of the day lurking around and watching Seonghwa prepare food and Wooyoung experiment with his potions, Mingi arrived, seeming out of breath, hair all messy as if he had been on the run. Your suspicions were confirmed when he talked with Seonghwa in hushed voices and the two went outside. You glanced at Wooyoung who was observing you already.

“It’s normal. No one really likes them. Me, though? I’m the only reason we get to stay in one place for a while.”

You reckoned it was true- the High Healer was a mage that every human wanted to meet at least once in their lifetime- and not because he was a ‘healer’. His wisdom was for the books, though you had to say you never imagined the High Healer was this cheeky personally. You wondered if he was like this with everyone.

“You still haven’t told me how we’re gonna travel. Don’t you need to pack or something?”

Wooyoung smirked yet again, like he had been doing ever since the morning whenever you inquired about their means or mode of travel. You passed him an annoyed look and the doors burst open, the two looking as calm as they could.

“Fuel the engines, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa ordered. “I’m going to the roof- Mingi will wait until it’s time.”

“Fuel what engines?” Your voice shook and you went for the window to get a look outside, not finding any sort of a transport, much less one with an engine. You turned to see Wooyoung at the fireplace with one hand in the fire and you had to swallow an instinctive scream. Seonghwa had disappeared and you felt a tap on your arm.

“You might want to take a seat,” Mingi motioned to the table. “First time can be scary.”

“I don’t understand,” you confessed. 

“You’ll see,” he placed a hand on your back, urging you to do as he said. Unconvinced, you sat down and braced yourself for the biggest surprise of your life- 

It started with Wooyoung shouting okay and Seonghwa responding. When the utensils on the table started shaking a bit, you wondered if there was an earthquake and almost screamed when you felt the floor rock. You could practically feel the foundations of the house shaking as it rose, finally earning a scream from you which went unnoticed. You spotted Wooyoung who looked amused and you finally got it then.

This house moves.

You had never heard of such a thing in your life. Not even in the stories. Your horror turned into something like surprise and perhaps a little bit of glee as you walked cautiously towards Wooyoung, holding on to whatever was near for support and when he extended his hand, you took it.

“I could have had a heart attack, Wooyoung,” you finally laughed, more in disbelief.

“And that’s why they have a healer here,” his eyes twinkled with amusement and you found him scanning your face. You realised it was your first time laughing in years and your smile fell but you let a hint of it remain. 

“How do you do it?”

Wooyoung explained the mechanics- it was basically running due to Seonghwa. They had figured this mechanism out a few decades ago- Wooyoung, who had a fire affinity, would fuel the house through the fireplace. The house had a soul at this point which was thanks to Seonghwa, and he admitted even he did not know how Seonghwa did it. You realised why he adored this house then, despite its tattered form- and perhaps, it was tattered due to all the travelling they did.

You also learned that without Mingi’s magic the house could not move. The shadows materialised and binded the house in places you could not see and they also worked as tyres. Wooyoung showed you how it looked through the window and you were amazed. You spotted Seonghwa dangling from the edge of the roof, moving his limbs as if he himself was driving the house but when he looked down and waved, you figured it must be for the initial kick. 

“So where’s Mingi?” You finally asked, unable to hold back your curiosity.

“Outside the space in his room, maybe,” Wooyoung considered for a second. “You can go and see him if you like. You don’t have to be scared of him.”

You pursed your lips and when you started to inch away, Wooyoung smiled, motioning at you to go ahead. You started climbing the stairs, heart filled with profound feelings of appreciation for the structure that was doing its best to simply remain and not fall apart. A house built on magic and friendship- on love. You could appreciate that, because you knew that no matter how pretty or magnificent a house could look, it could still be the ugliest place to live in and feel like a prison.

You didn’t knock on his door since it was wide open and you could spot him standing outside with his hands extended towards the front, shadows surrounding him- black, inky fog. You figured he would detect your presence anyway so you just watched, not once feeling fear- strange since the townspeople cried when they heard his name-

Why? What had he done to earn that reputation? You did not understand how the Child of Shadows you knew from the rumours and stories from people around you was the same person who had the warmest gaze at times, who looked almost scared at times- especially when he had come back today.

However, it was not the warm gaze that greeted you when he turned his neck back to look at you. It was the same glowing eyes from last night- the ones that looked like silver stars dipped in shadows. And when his lips curved not in a smile but a smirk, you knew that he was not the same person you had breakfast with today.

Swallowing, you stepped forward as if possessed by those very shadows, as if they were moving your feet in the first place. You stopped by the window- the entrance to the little space outside, when he finally spoke.

“You stayed, little bird.”

You didn’t answer but stood beside him and watched how the magic worked. When you finally spoke, it was to say, “You’re not Mingi.”

“That’s the quickest a stranger has guessed, and the calmest they have been,” it smiled- this time, it was void of taunt. “What made you stay when I warned you of the consequences?”

“Exactly that,” you admitted, peeking up at it, liking how focused it looked. “I’ll die anyway.” 

Mingi- or whoever was in that body, shrugged, so you asked it. “What are you?”

“Humans called me a demon before I possessed this body, so maybe I am a demon.”

You considered that- was that why Mingi was called the Child of Shadows? A shadow demon of sorts? 

“Well, what’s your name then?”

It paused, the outstretched arms falling back as it turned to look at you and consider your question- in all of its time as a demon in a human vessel, no one had ever bothered to ask its name. Such a simple, human question yet it felt something bubbling in its throat- perhaps those human emotions it despised. Perhaps it was Mingi fighting back for conscious control. Whatever it was… the demon found it so strange that someone was not immediately quivering and kneeling despite the visible shadows around it, despite the knowledge that it was a demon as old as time, perhaps. 

As if someone was looking at the demon itself for the first time- not Mingi’s eyes, but its own eyes.

“I might have forgotten my name,” it admitted. “I haven’t been called by my name in aeons.”

Aeons. Your heart sank and the demon felt that, but did not comment. 

“What do they call you then? They must refer to you by some name, right?”

“They just call me Erebos.”

“So you won’t tell me what your name is?”

Again. The demon found itself looking at you and for the first time in a while, a genuine chuckle escaped it. You, amused, turned to look at the stretch of the night sky, not wanting it to feel satisfaction- if it could feel anything in the first place.

“You’re funny, little bird. I quite like you already.”

You shrugged. “I bet you say that to every human who talks to you. A demon starved of company.”

This time, it roared in laughter and you couldn’t help but compare it to the sound of Mingi’s own laughter you had heard in the morning. Somehow, this one sounded more human than Mingi’s own laugh. “Feisty. You’re not like this when you’re talking to Mingi. You sounded like you hated him.”

“It’s not him I hate, he saved me. He was the one who saved me, right?” You asked and it nodded. “It’s you who confused me. I didn’t know you were… two separate people. How does that even work? Where is Mingi now?”

“So many questions,” it tsk-ed. “Mingi saved you. It was me last night. Mingi during the day, and me right now. Since we have to live in one body, we might as well get along and divide our hours, was the White Flame’s genius plan.”

“And is… is Mingi here right now?” You looked at him.

“Over the years, we’ve started sharing our consciousness. We might not always be able to control it, but we can see, hear and feel what the other does.”

Oh. So Mingi was there last night too. And he was probably here, watching you interact with the demon who had possessed his body. 

“Why did you possess him?”

The demon’s smile fell right as it heard the question and it almost glared at you. You understood why but you refused to cower under its scrutinising gaze. “That is not something you ask a demon, little bird.”

If you had any more questions, they were lost with the shadows now. Its gaze was hard and unwelcoming and you thought you might have made a mistake. You didn’t leave, though. Somehow, these shadows were still comforting enough.

—-----------------------

You may have given Erebos some company last night, but Mingi was hell-bent on pretending you did not exist. You supposed it was awkward for him too- to watch from afar, someone inside him taking control of his thoughts and actions. You were not sure what to make of it- did he not want you talking to Erebos at all? Even Seonghwa, who had warned you to stay in your room at nights, didn’t say much when he spotted you and the demon sharing silence.

Somehow, that seemed to weigh on your mind more than the fact that you were not in your town anymore. You had travelled all through the night and stopped at the vast expanse of field that bordered the river in the neighbouring town. Most of the day was spent sleeping and you finally woke up around sunset when you heard the faint tinkling of utensils in the kitchen. After washing up, you peeked through your door and spotted Seonghwa who seemed to sense you, turning around with a smile.

“Breakfast- or I suppose, dinner is ready,” he tasted one of the dishes and nodded to himself in satisfaction. You joined him near the counter and fiddled with the ends of your plain emerald dress that had ‘magically’ appeared in your wardrobe after Mingi went to town yesterday. 

“The others?” You asked.

“Wooyoung’s out cold, Mingi is outside inspecting our new location,” he told you. “I hope we get to stay here longer this time. It’s beautiful here.”

“Really?” The sound of creaks filled the room as you walked towards the window and you audibly gasped as you took in the pink and golden hues reflecting on the crystal clear river with hills across it, the fluffiest clouds in the sky and the grass a beautiful, darker shade of green than you had seen in the forest. 

You also spotted Mingi, standing at the back of the river and staring into the distance. With a nod from Seonghwa who muttered something about him waking Wooyoung up, you stepped outside and inhaled the scent of wet mud which calmed your otherwise raging nerves. You cautiously walked towards the looming figure and cleared your throat, making him glance back at you.

“Uh, dinner is ready,” you said, hating the way you sounded. You scanned his eyes and confirmed it was Mingi. 

Even though he didn’t answer, you remained standing a few feet behind him, drowning in questions that you wished to ask but didn’t have the guts to- why was talking to the demon somehow easier than talking to the human? Before you could open your mouth to ask something that was already at the tip of your tongue, Seonghwa shouted for you two to get inside and you clicked your tongue in annoyance, not waiting for him this time as you returned to the house. 

The silence that hung uncomfortably during dinner almost made you choke. You saw Seonghwa cautiously glance between you and Mingi multiple times, and if Wooyoung had not been so sleepy, he might have dared to comment on it. As soon as Mingi finished eating, he dropped his plates in the sink and said something about going into his room. When he disappeared, it felt like you could finally breathe.

“Is Mingi avoiding me?” You asked, worried you were disturbing the peace in this house- you had heard him laugh with the other two when you were not present and it hurt you that he was shutting you out more as time passed. “Is it because of something I did?”

“It’s just because he doesn’t like anyone interacting with Erebos,” Wooyoung answered. “It took us a lot of time to find the balance between our interactions with Erebos and Mingi too.”

“Well,” you pouted. “He should have warned me himself then, shouldn’t he?”

The two shrugged, perhaps used to these mood swings. You pouted further. “He shouldn’t have saved me in the forest and asked me to accompany him then.”

“You should say that to Mingi,” Wooyoung was stifling a smirk. “See how he answers that.”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa warned, turning to you. “Mingi helps anyone who needs it. We help anyone who needs it, because we all know what it is like to feel trapped and helpless. Mingi knows that better than any of us, so do not question him on that. Just… give him some time. He’ll warm up to you.”

You sighed deeply, understanding. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa smiled. “You’ll be fine.”

You did not go to find Erebos that night, waiting instead for Mingi the next morning at the same spot he had been in yesterday, at the bank of the river. And surprisingly, it was him who joined you with a book this time.

“Are you feeling well?” He inquired and you tried not to let the surprise show on your face. 

“I am, thank you for asking,” you tucked the hair that blew with the breeze back in the clip. “Are you okay?”

“Why would I not be okay?” He glanced at you.

“Are we okay?” You rephrased it and he sighed.

“I’m sorry if I was being an ass. You’ve… met Erebos, right?” You nodded and he continued. “Over time, I’ve learned to cohabitate with the demon in my body. It wasn’t always so manageable but it’s unusual for a human body to contain a demon within it for such a long period of time.”

Human body. Mingi was once human.

“Do you wish to be free?”

Mingi smiled at that. “I was anything but free when I was human. Ironically, the demon possessing me gave me more freedom than I ever had. I guess that is why we can tolerate each other now.”

“Why did you say you want me to stay away from you then?” You asked, curiosity taking the better of you.

Mingi’s smile seemed to be painful. “Why would you not stay away from a demon, y/n?”

“But you’re human… aren’t you? Or a mage now,” you wondered out loud. “Should I stay away from you too?”

Mingi didn’t answer that. He opened his book and scrolled through a few pages, buying time to think. You kept watching him- it felt like he was finally opening up to you, still so cautious and hesitant. “I don’t know.”

Despite the impending sense of danger, you found your frown relaxing and lips curving into a smile and when Mingi saw you, he smiled back.

Perhaps, this was the first step the two of you took together. 

“I’d say we should stay away from you,” Mingi found himself saying with a teasing tone. “You humans are always so reckless. And that smile is unnerving.”

Your smile widened. “You don’t get human company often, do you?”

Mingi’s smile fell again and you decided it wasn’t a topic they wanted to talk about- neither of them. You cleared your throat. “Thank you for saving me that day. I don’t think I got the chance to thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, looking back at his book. “I felt your senses numbed because of the potions. I couldn’t simply leave you be.”

“Thank you for today too,” you almost whispered.

“Today?”

“For finally talking to me- I thought you were cross with me,” you explained. 

“I still am, a little, just not with you,” he admitted, sighing deeply. “I don’t like the way Erebos talks to you, if I’m honest. It’s new.”

You pursed your lips- that explained his behaviour and the way he avoided you. He continued, “I won’t stop you from interacting with Erebos. Just be careful, okay?”

You nodded and sank your feet in the bare grass as Mingi went back to reading his book, the silence between you two comfortable for the first time.

—--------------------

You were settling into a routine in the house and it seemed like they had accepted you as a housemate.

It would have been much more difficult if it weren’t for the White Flame’s warm nature. You wondered how time hadn’t hardened him- he was more considerate than any human or mage you had ever met. You found his nature almost doting as he instructed you on the tasks you had to practically beg to share. As he taught you how to fix broken pipes or dangling planks, you shared stories of your life. He learned that you had been a servant in your own house before your stepmother resorted to imprisoning you in the tower because you tried to run away a few too many times. 

You learned that he wasn’t an angel at all- he was also a demon, though a different kind than Erebos. He resembled angels too much- both in his appearance and mannerisms and was outcasted by the demons. The angels didn’t accept him either. That’s how he earned one of his names ‘The Fallen Angel’, though he complained about the inaccuracy. You asked him if he was still calming you with his magic when you were around him, and he revealed that he had stopped doing that when you decided to stay. 

When Seonghwa was busy, you were with Wooyoung who didn’t have a fixed room for his experiments- he would drag his bag of potions anywhere he pleased and make home there, much to Seonghwa’s annoyance, though his smile would betray him. He filled any room with his presence, with his annoying but lovable loud laughter, with his stories and jokes. You finally told him that he had once come to your home and treated your father when he was suffering from the plague a few years ago, the one that took his life. He remembered that and was very surprised to learn that you were that man’s daughter.

“He told me I could trust you if the time ever came,” you had explained. “He told me to find you if things ever went south. I think he knew what was coming but couldn’t do anything about it.”

“He was a wise man,” Wooyoung had admitted. “And he couldn’t stop talking about you while I tried to heal him. You were so young, y/n. What did they do to you? You used to live like a princess.”

And that was the first time in years you shed tears for the life that was taken from you. When you cried, Seonghwa passed you a cup of tea and Wooyoung continued burning incense, muttering something about how some humans were worse than monsters. They let you cry in silence for as long as you wanted.

That night, it was Erebos who found you sitting on the roof, legs dangling. It tsk-ed as it nudged your thigh with its bare foot.

“I’m trying to attempt shadow-travel but I can’t focus because I can practically smell your tears and grief.”

“Shadow-travel?” You asked, and he scoffed at the curiosity behind your glazed eyes.

“I have some business to take care of in town, and it’s quicker to travel that way.”

“What business would you have?”

“I, too, have a life,” it slumped down next to you. “Would you like to join, little bird?”

“Can I?” You asked, wondering if Mingi would be okay with it in the morning.

“Yes, Mingi would be okay with it,” it rolled its eyes. “Can practically hear your thoughts.”

You stifled a grin, wiping your eyes. “Shall I get my cloak then?”

Erebos showed you around town- you decided to walk instead of shadow-travel- travelling that way with a human was risky business, it explained. You felt nostalgic as you walked in the lantern-lit streets, the smell of food and smoke filling you with an unexplainable glee in your heart. Erebos made you sit on one of the benches with a sandwich to keep you busy while it disappeared in the shadows. You didn’t complain- you were more than pleased to simply sit and observe the bustle. You hadn’t had such luxury in a while.

You almost didn’t notice the commotion behind you until you heard the faint sound of screams and you whipped your head towards the source, wondering where Erebos had disappeared. You decided to stick to its strict order not to move from this bench until it found you. Moments later, the demon was back, the people making way for it and you gaped at it.

“At least wipe the smug look off your face,” you muttered, making it grin. “What were you doing?”

“I don’t like unfinished business- especially when it’s people trying to start things that shouldn’t be messed with in the first place.”

You gulped at the threatening tone and it shook its head. “I can taste your fear, little bird.”

“I’m human, demon,” you taunted, making it laugh. “And I do not want to know what happened there. Just tell me if you hurt innocent people.”

“I may be a demon but I have morals too,” it tsk-ed in disappointment and you shrugged, falling in step with it as you went further away from town. “I never attack a human first.”

You asked why it needed morals when it was a demon and could do as it pleased. It told you that demons weren’t like how humans sketched them out to be in their poems and tales- they were much more than that. Despite being dark in nature, they weren’t consumed by evil just like humans weren’t all good, and angels not all that pure. Even as you reached the house, you spent the night learning about how demons were creatures with strict principles that they followed. You learnt that demons could feel emotions too, though time hardened them and morphed them, often into something unrecognisable. Erebos appreciated Seonghwa and told you how it was saved by him when it found itself in Mingi’s body, and how ever since they met Wooyoung, he was trying his best to make it easier for the two to cohabitate in one body.

And every time you interacted with the demon, just before you parted ways for the night, you would ask its name and it would look at you with unreadable eyes. You never got an answer.

Though your appreciation for Seonghwa and Wooyoung grew, you couldn’t help but appreciate Erebos too, you told it, for simply cooperating when it could have given up and taken control of Mingi long ago. It smiled and told you it wasn’t always so compliant and only settled down when it learned that it needed to find a way to leave this vessel without dying.

Mingi, you felt, was making a conscious effort to check up on you everyday- especially if you interacted with Erebos the night before. He never asked why or what you talked about, and you thought it was for the better. Since everyone else treated them as separate persons, you might as well too. 

But it was so hard to look at Mingi and not see his lips curled in a smirk- something that you had started to look forward to, an expression that once put distaste in your mouth but now made your heart skip a beat. It was hard to see his eyes and not find the twinkle of stars in his dark irises. It was hard to hear his voice and not find it almost echoing within your skull.

And tonight, as your feet padded down the stairs, wanting to get fresh air having just woken up from a nightmare that you were back in the tower, you found Mingi relaxing in the sofa seat next to the fireplace-

Not Mingi. Erebos.

“Way past your bedtime, little bird,” it said without looking at you.

“Very unlike you to just sit and stare at the fire… demon,” you countered, watching its body shake with laughter as you went to the kitchen to drink water. You joined it, sitting on the other seat with the glass half full. “No hunting humans tonight?”

“There’s you,” it commented. “I don’t even need to go to town.”

This time, your heart didn’t sink to your feet in fear but skipped a beat, drawing a frown on its face. You sipped the water, suddenly very interested in the burning fire as you recovered. 

“Someone couldn’t sleep well.”

“Right,” you sighed. “Do you need sleep?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re abusing Mingi’s body with lack of sleep.”

“He can sleep as long as he pleases when it’s his shift,” Erebos waved a hand in dismissal. “I have better things to do.”

“Definitely,” you muttered and Erebos raised a brow before leaning forward so it could meet your eyes.

“I don’t like that mocking tone, little bird.”

Though it was meant to threaten you, you rolled your eyes simply because Erebos was looking like it was enjoying this way too much. “Mean it when you say it then.”

Erebos clenched its jaws before relaxing back. “You’re not like this when you talk to Mingi or the others.”

You mirrored its posture. “You’re different.”

Perhaps, that’s not how you should have worded it. You saw Erebos’s eyes flash before you could correct yourself, its fists clenching and unclenching as if it was trying to control a response. You cleared your throat. “I mean… they don’t go around calling me ‘little bird’ and try to scare me or something. Wooyoung said it might be because you feed on fear.”

“Wooyoung was right, and I’ve been starving recently,” it licked its lips. “You’ve stopped fearing me, little bird. Not like you used to. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“That’s such a shallow way of thinking!” You couldn’t help the outburst. “When’s the last time you had a friend other than Seonghwa and Wooyoung?”

“They’re not my friends.” This time, Erebos’s voice did shake you. “They’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since they met me.”

“They’re trying to help you both,” you corrected and Erebos scoffed. “Do you like pushing people away? Do you like being alone, Erebos?”

“I’m not human enough to crave company or ‘like’ anything,” Erebos replied. “But I suppose I prefer when a certain human is not eating my ears off.”

You deadpan stared at the demon and it laughed in response. You shook your head, getting up. “Well, you can have the rest of the night with the one you love the most- your own self.”

Before you could take your third step, your wrist was grabbed and you were pulled towards a body- Mingi’s body, towards Erebos. It intertwined its hand with yours, noticing the glass still in the other hand. With a smirk, it twirled you around, earning a surprised yelp from you, leading you to the mantle of the fireplace. You placed the glass there just in time before you were pulled back.

“What are you doing?” You asked between laughs as you tried regaining your balance, your free hand instinctively going to hold Erebos’s. It scoffed in amusement, towering over you as it looked down at you. 

Erebos didn’t bother responding, simply shifting its hands in yours, watching your small hands intertwine in its large ones and you felt butterflies as you detected wonder in its eyes. The demon was then swaying you in small motions as it scanned every inch of you, practically drinking in the sight and you felt so exposed that you wished you could go back to the darkness you were so used to in the tower back home. 

“What are you doing?” You repeated, this time a whisper. Erebos met your eyes and you thought you saw its defences fall for a fraction of a second before it passed. The demon pulled you closer, just a step but enough that your bodies almost brushed.

“Why are you doing this to me, little bird?” It tilted its head.

“What did I do?” You dared to ask, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness of your bodies, by the fact that this was a demon in front of you, by the shadows that had now started to seep out of it. 

Erebos scanned you one last time. “You should go back to sleep.”

None of you made a move to let go of the other’s hands, none of you looked away from the other. Not until you saw Erebos clench its eyes shut in pain. You squeezed its hands once, softly, before drawing back. The demon opened its eyes, almost out of breath. You stepped away, turning to go but stopping midway.

You turned to look at it one last time. “What is your name… demon?”

For the first time since you were here, Erebos passed an actual smile, waving its hand in dismissal. You smiled back before going back to your room-

Unable to sleep for the remainder of the night. 

—--------------------

This time, Mingi was avoiding you on purpose. It was unsettling- you tried to strike up a conversation with him but his answers were dry and his smile didn’t meet his eyes. You ignored it until a few days passed, neither Mingi nor Erebos in your sight and when you were making your way to Mingi’s room to confront him, you noticed him in the hallway instead, bending down in the left corner and placing what looked like a scroll under the gap, sealing the plank back. You reckoned it must be something important he had to hide so you waited a few minutes until he got up.

You came into his sight and said, “You’ve been busy these days.”

“I have been,” he confirmed. For a second, you wondered if it really was just him being busy, having some ‘business’ to deal with in town, which he had explained a few days ago was attending the Conference of Mages which dealt with peace and accountability of rogue mages. But when his eyes didn’t meet yours, your suspicions were confirmed. He tried passing you but you spread your arms.

“I’m not letting you pass until you tell me why you are avoiding me- and don’t give me the same excuse.”

Mingi sighed in defeat- one thing he had learned about you was that you could be very, very stubborn. “I just needed to clear my head. We both did.”

We both.

You finally dropped your arms and followed him to the kitchen- he told you he just came home and wanted to grab something to eat. You stood awkwardly by the dainty glass decorations that Wooyoung had glued to the surface of one of the shelves so they wouldn’t fall when the house moved. You cleared your throat. “Did I do something wrong?”

Mingi didn’t like the way your voice shook when you asked that. He passed you a tight smile as he came to stand near the bookshelf, watching you. “You didn’t. It’s me this time.”

You stopped wiping, locking eyes with him. “What did you do?”

“I broke a rule- when Erebos and you were having… a moment… a few nights ago, I tried to take over. Erebos didn’t like it.”

You instantly knew what Mingi was talking about- when Erebos had clenched its eyes shut in pain. Your mouth parted and shut multiple times, trying to think of how to word your next question-

“I know,” Mingi answered anyway. “I shouldn’t have done it, but… I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the way Erebos was looking at you.”

What way was Erebos looking at you, and why did Mingi not like it? 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” you almost whispered, drawing a step away, feeling overwhelmed by the proximity and his curious eyes on you. “I… I don’t like when you avoid me, Mingi. If my presence here is making it hard for you, I can leave-”

“Not at all,” he stepped forward as if to reach for you but stopped himself. “That’s not it.”

“I just miss you,” you exhaled in relief. “I wish you could tell me these things. I wish you would let me in, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was in pain and for a moment, you wondered if you had said something wrong. He finally smiled, taking another step forward and this time, you let him. You let him put his hands hesitantly on your shoulders. 

“You’re right- I should have just talked to you. Avoiding you won’t make anything right. I’m sorry.”

“I wish you would stop saying sorry too,” you smiled and he finally laughed. 

“I just am. I’ll try not to do that again, but I can’t promise. It’s hard when you’re not in control of your own actions, and if Erebos tries something with you, I don’t want you to look at me differently.”

So that’s what it was. You put your hands over his. “You’re not Erebos. Erebos is not you. I know that very well. Even though you share a body, you don’t look the same, don’t feel the same,” you said and Mingi gave your shoulders a squeeze. “We’re just y/n and Mingi right now, so talk to me, okay?”

Mingi nodded and asked if you wanted to join him for dinner- he didn’t have much time until Erebos would take over. You nodded and started setting the table, Mingi helping and he told you about the conference that took place today and how Erebos was also a part of it, helping eliminate threats to both humans and mages. You told him you learned to make bread pudding with Seonghwa and waited for him to try it, grinning when he told you it was better than Seonghwa’s. 

It was so easy to talk to Mingi like this- an exchange of how your day went, sharing bits and pieces of your past sometimes, joking with each other- Mingi wasn’t very shy when talking which helped a lot. He enjoyed chatting with everyone but sometimes, you wondered if he was reminded of something from his past when he would zone out or his smile would fade. Just like now.

“Are you with me?” You asked cautiously, wondering if you were going to see the shift. 

“I’m here,” Mingi blinked, shaking his head. “Just got lost for a second.”

“Is my company that boring to you?” You pouted.

“It’s not that,” he shook his head. “It’s just been a while since I’ve had such mundane interactions.”

“Does it remind you of the time when you were human?” You dared to ask. He didn’t mind, thankfully.

“Not really, but… we’ve had a few human guests over the time. Some stayed until their end. Some left because they saw what living here would mean for them. Now that we have you in our house, we enjoy the company. We’re a bit bored of each other, the rest of us, so we really don’t mind you. It’s just sad to think how it will come to an end one day.”

“You’re worrying about the future when you haven’t even tried living in the present… aren’t you?”

“It’s you humans who think living in the present is the right way. You understand later that every decision you make in the present influences the future. And when something bad happens, you start tracing it back to the moment it started going wrong. It’s too late then.”

“Then there’s no way of knowing if the decisions I make will be good for me. Does it really matter if they are good for me?” You paused, thinking about Erebos all of a sudden. Thinking about the way your skin ignited with pleasure for the first time and how you longed to feel that way again. “Sometimes you just can’t help yourself, can you?”

“You don’t mean that,” Mingi almost whispered, his raspy voice making you shiver involuntarily. You wondered if he had read your mind.

“Do you feel what Erebos does too?” You asked, leaning forward as well. “Where do your feelings differentiate?”

“Erebos is a demon, it doesn’t feel-”

“You’re wrong,” you shook your head. “You can’t tell me that when you haven’t seen the way its eyes changed that night.”

“Y/n-” Mingi warned, the left side of his face twitching. “I know I said I don’t mind you talking to Erebos, but it is a demon. It will take advantage of you at some point- that is its nature.”

“I can take care of myself,” you drew back and watched Mingi sigh in frustration. “You should understand that Erebos hasn’t done anything that I didn’t like.”

You let that confession hang in the air and Mingi tried processing it but he was so confused. Just why were you so fearless, so stubborn, especially about this? It’s almost like-

Like you had no reason to be afraid of.

Mingi got up abruptly, almost giving you a jumpscare. He looked at you, feeling out of breath. “You’re on your own then. But please be careful.”

You made a mental note to ask Erebos just what he had done to their human guests in the past as you watched Mingi disappear into his room. You didn’t want to see Erebos tonight, though. If the demon could give you this cold treatment, you could return that too. Even if for one night.

—------------------

“There’s something wrong with her.”

“Are you sure she’s not simply sulking?” Wooyoung glanced at Seonghwa who shook his head in denial. 

“She’s never been this quiet since she came. She’s like you- always babbling-”

“I can hear you,” you called out, not bothering to look at the duo, instead continuing to stare into the fire with an unfinished black crochet scarf in your hands. 

“Why are you so quiet today? Is it because I scolded you when you forgot to turn the oven off?” Seonghwa asked.

You finally looked at the Fallen Angel who thought you were worried because you left the burner on. He scoffed at your amused expressions. “That’s not it.”

“Let her be, everyone needs some peace and quiet sometimes,” Wooyoung waved a hand in dismissal, going back to messing with his potions. “I need some peace and quiet today too.”

“Right,” Seonghwa muttered. “If you make it past half an hour without speaking a word, I’ll let you use me as your lab rat for your next experiment.”

You gasped at his offer because you had seen Wooyoung dissect dead animals and it was not a pretty sight. Wooyoung’s eyes, however, glinted as he accepted the challenge. You sighed, going back to staring at the fire.

You kept thinking about every interaction you had had with Mingi and Erebos so far. Even though you knew they were two separate entities, you were worried you weren’t making the distinction clear- when you were angry with Erebos, Mingi got to deal with the aftermath and vice versa. 

Mingi was still the same old person he was from the first day he met you. You would join him with a book by the river when he wasn’t out or you would exchange stories at the table. He stopped asking you about Erebos- you figured you had struck the right chord that day. Instead, he now answered your silly but curious questions about magic, about their travels and adventures. He would ask if you had a good sleep or if you learned anything new from the boys who were teaching you anything you were willing to learn. It was comfortable to talk to Mingi now and you had started looking forward to your interactions with him.

Erebos, however, was not the same person you had encountered on your first night here, the one who was so unwilling to look at you and wanted you to run away. If you could look at it from an objective lens, you were pretty sure Erebos was warming up to you. You had a habit of sleeping very late at night so you spent most nights hanging out with the demon- sometimes inside as you both fought your own battles in silence, occasionally exchanging words. Or sometimes, you would lie down with him on the grass and stare at the sky until you fell asleep and later wake up in your bed.

And when you had a moment with one of them, one that made you feel unexplainable things, one that made you shiver or made your heart flutter, you found yourself expecting it to be the same with the other. It wasn’t fair, but you couldn’t help it. 

You kept mindlessly crocheting or resorting to staring into the fire even when Wooyoung finally gave up staying silent and Seonghwa and him started to argue like children. Mingi came and joined the ruckus and you only passed a small smile, busying yourself. The day passed just like that and at some point, you must have fallen asleep on the sofa because when you woke up, Erebos was seated right in front of you, watching you with curious eyes.

You blinked away the sleep, suddenly feeling conscious of the way the neckline of your dress exposed your left shoulder more than intended. You straightened your dress and watched Erebos relax back.

“How long have you been sitting and staring?”

“Not long,” it replied. You were pretty sure that was a lie. 

“Not going to the conference tonight?” You inquired.

“I got a message- it has been delayed,” Erebos licked its lips slowly. “Why were you sleeping here?”

“I was…” waiting to see you- “crocheting…”

“I don’t see any evidence of that.”

You looked down in your lap and laughed a little- it must have been Wooyoung or Seonghwa who placed the material away and put a blanket on you. You pursed your lips. “You’re talkative tonight.”

“I bet you like that,” Erebos cocked its head.

“See?” You managed to say despite the fluttering of your stomach. “Very talkative. Go scare a human in town or something…”

Erebos let out a deep laugh and you joined, shaking your head. You stretched, spotting the new moon outside. “The sky is lovely tonight.”

“Do you want to climb the hill you’ve been watching every day since you came here? Might give you a better view.”

An offer. You smiled and nodded, getting up and drinking a glass of water before joining the demon outside. The hill was across the river and you wondered if you were going to make a round trip, but-

“We’re going through the river. I’ll make a boat for you.”

“There’s no way I’m going through the river,” you halted, Erebos laughing yet again. “I’ll drown!”

“Just like this house moves on tyres made of shadow, I can materialise a boat for us to travel in. It will be safe-”

“No-”

“And I will be right next to you,” the demon completed and you pressed your lips in a tight line. “You won’t drown.”

You didn’t answer, looking at the awfully still surface of the river. Erebos stood next to you and you felt your fingers brush its own.

“I won’t let you drown. Do you trust me, little bird?”

Did you trust the demon with your life? You could practically hear the sound of your own heart as you nudged its fingers with yours. A leap of faith. You watched Erebos’s lips curl into a smile and it spread his hands forward, shadow seeping out of the body until a black boat stood in the river. Erebos stepped inside first and even though you had seen the shadow tyres support the weight of this house, you still gasped in surprise. 

The demon extended its hand for you. You didn’t hesitate to take it this time and it helped you settle in the boat but you refused to let its hand go and it made it chuckle. With its other hand, it steered the boat swiftly towards the other end and you laughed in both surprise and fear, water droplets spraying your face when you peeked out of the boat though you didn’t mind one bit- it was so thrilling. More thrilling than anything you had ever experienced in your lifetime.

And when you looked at Erebos with the biggest smile on your face, the demon felt its heart ache and it wondered if it was because of Mingi even though it had pushed Mingi far, far away into its subconscious. You felt its hands grip yours tighter as if squeezing it and you didn’t look away from its face until you reached.

The climb up the hill was just as silent, none of you letting go of the other’s hand. You let it be- it certainly helped you move faster as Erebos instructed you where to step and where not to. When you reached the peak and you were out of breath, Erebos helped you settle on a rock, finally leaving your hand only to shake its head and dig out a handkerchief from its pocket.

“Look at you, all spent just because you climbed a few rocks,” it tsk-ed and you pouted. Shaking its head again, it started wiping the sweat off your forehead, grinning to itself at the state of your hair blown back. Putting its handkerchief away, the demon pushed your hair away from your face, caressing your head with a faint smile-

And finally noticing the look on your face. The wide, curious eyes, the hesitant look in them, the parted lips. The uneven breaths. 

You watched its eyes flash with something indecipherable yet again as it scanned your face, noticing its thumb almost at the corner of your lips. You watched its brows furrow as a flurry of emotions crossed its face- emotions you had never seen on anyone’s face before. You couldn’t hear the sound of cicadas or the wind anymore, only the rustling of your hair as its hand moved away from your face only to slide its thumb across your lower lip.

Even if Erebos didn’t watch your eyes to confirm, it could feel your heart beating as if it was an extension of its own pulse, taste the excitement mixed with a little bit of fear in the air. And locking eyes with you only made the demon more confused- you looked so vulnerable in that moment that its primal instincts shouted at it to shatter you, but it pushed them away. It pushed everything away and drew its hand back, about to move away but-

But you grabbed its hand in yours. You did not know what took over you in that moment, but you placed its thumb back where it was- between your parted lips. 

And then you kissed it softly.

You heard the demon stifle a cry- of pain? Of surprise? You did not care. You locked eyes with the figure towering over you, ready to meet your fate.

And when the demon cupped your face with a hesitancy that almost broke you, you licked your lips, so eager to meet its own. When it inched closer, you let your hands grip its wrists, and when your nose brushed with its own sharp nose, you let out a small exhale. You were both at a loss of words at that moment, so you only arched your neck up to let it know you needed this, perhaps as much as the demon itself.

A demon starved of love, starved of affection. That’s what Erebos was. And when it pushed every thought away and brushed its lips across yours, it finally understood that it never craved fear-

It craved this. 

Parting its own lips, it kissed you, for the first time in its life- it did not count the times Mingi had kissed his past lovers because Erebos thought it was disgusting and hid itself so far away in Mingi’s subconscious that it didn’t even remember what happened later. This was the first time the demon itself was in charge, and it had no idea what to do but found itself locking and unlocking its lips with yours, its hand automatically going to grip your neck. It swallowed your moan of pleasure, kissing you deeper and deeper until you almost slipped from the rock and your hands went around its neck for support, breaking apart from the kiss-

And looking at the demon, its eyes wide and perhaps as vulnerable as yours.

Erebos picked you up effortlessly, making you yelp in surprise and wrap your legs around its waist- perhaps, a wrong move because there was an unquestionable fire in its eyes. It led you to another rock and placed you on it so that your heights matched, out of breath- you wondered how a demon was out of breath now. You didn’t unwrap your legs, not quite, and you didn’t need to because it gripped your hip with one hand and brought you closer, craning your neck with the other and going back to kissing you, deeper and more desperate this time. You kissed back with equal urgency, welcoming its tongue in yours, feeling its hand creep up inside your dress and you finally drew back-

“Erebos-”

It swallowed your name back in another kiss and for a moment, you saw stars. This couldn’t be how it felt kissing a human, you wondered. Was it because Erebos was a demon? It couldn’t be like this, setting you on fire wherever its hands traced your skin and nails dug in, making you buzz with excitement and want-

“Erebos, please,” you broke away, pushing the blue and black strand of its hair back. “Look at me.”

Erebos locked its eyes with you and you felt your heart sink when you saw nothing but darkness in its eyes. It inched closer, kissing your jaw and sucking and nibbling on your neck almost harshly, and you stifled your moans-

“Not like this, Erebos,” you pleaded, cupping its face again and making it lock eyes with you. “Where are the stars in your eyes, demon?”

That seemed to click something in its minds as the pupils lightened and the twinkle of its eyes returned. It took deep, uneven breaths, caressing your face with both hands. 

“I- I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” you assured the demon, though you had no idea either. “It’s okay-”

“Did I hurt you?” Erebos voice sounded so fragile that you felt the sting of tears in your eyes- this was the demon they warned you to stay away from? You watched its eyes darken when it inspected a bruise forming on your neck. “...I hurt you.”

“No, no you didn’t, look at me,” you scolded, pecking its lips again. “You didn’t hurt me. You just… I don’t know. Where did you go?”

Erebos looked so confused. You buried your face in its neck as you brought its body closer to you. “Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”

The demon caressed your head as it clenched its eyes shut again, in pain- Mingi was doing it again, trying to take over. Erebos supposed he had every right to now. However, it would not let Mingi take this moment from it, not again. So with all its willpower, Erebos pushed Mingi away and kissed the top of your head.

“Little bird,” it whispered. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

—---------------------

What had you gotten yourself into? 

It was your turn to avoid Mingi this time, simply because you couldn’t face him. Not when you did what you did last night and Mingi shared the same body as Erebos. 

What were you thinking?

You were mortified, yes, but you also did not regret one bit of it, if you were honest with yourself. Mingi could be angry with you all he wanted.

You might have regretted it- Erebos was a demon. You still didn’t understand why its eyes went so dark as if the demon lost itself for a moment, but when you called its name and it came back, when it asked if you were hurt as if it pained the demon itself… 

You simply couldn’t imagine why Erebos looked at you with such worried eyes. Why would a demon care if it hurt you or not, unless it actually cared?

And if it actually cared… What did it mean for you?

“Little bird, what have you gotten yourself into?”

You refused to leave your room even after you woke up, even when your stomach grumbled with hunger. Even Seonghwa got worried and checked in on you with a tray of food, understanding something must have happened between you and Mingi- or Erebos. Thankfully, he didn’t insist you join them. He let you have your space and you were grateful for that. 

That night, Erebos didn’t come to look for you either. You remained cooped up in your room, obsessively cleaning it to make up for the guilt of slacking on your other duties and sometimes peeking out of the window- neither Mingi nor Erebos seemed to have gone out today. 

The next day, Seonghwa had had enough of your moping and came into your room, clicking a wooden spoon on a metal dish as morning bells to wake you up. You groaned and hid your face in the pillow but Seonghwa made the pillow burst into feathers with his magic, making you almost cry.

“I only tolerate moping for one day, y/n,” he told you as if it was a rule you had to abide by to live in this house. “Get up. Fix any broken planks- the wind last night was strong- and then join me on the roof for cleaning.”

“Why won’t you use your magic to clean?” You sighed and he ignored that, going in the next room to wake Wooyoung up- you could hear him yelling in response. Smiling at that, you finally got up and stumbled towards the bathroom, nearly forgetting Mingi lived in this very house until you bumped into a body in the hallway and muttered apologies-

Only to look up and see Mingi.

“Uh, I was just,” you pointed to the bathroom and he scanned your face, making you gulp. He muttered a sorry before letting you walk past him and when you entered the bathroom, you shut the door and nearly sank down the door.

How were you going to face him?

You were very distracted as you fixed the planks dangling by the window in the hallway, almost nailing your finger a couple of times. When you were done, you were about to head to the roof when you almost tripped on your feet-

You looked down and spotted a plank a little lifted in the air that had caused you to almost fall face-first. You were about to nail it when you recalled that this was the spot Mingi had hid something that day- you should probably not nail it.

Curiosity took the better of you and you moved the plank- there was indeed a scroll inside. Looking around, you hesitated a bit before you took out the scroll and unrolled it, a few verses of what looked like a poem on it-

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

You figured it might be Mingi’s sad attempt at poetry and put the scroll back where it was, fixing the plank better- if he had to hide it, he could at least hide it properly. 

Thankfully, he was not on roof cleaning duty with you and when you went to join Seonghwa there after a light breakfast, he passed you a sceptical look before handing you the mop.

“What’s up with you these days?” 

You wondered how to answer that. Seonghwa tsk-ed at you. “Why are you avoiding Mingi?”

“Erebos,” you gave in and Seonghwa raised a brow. “Because of Erebos. Because…” you groaned in frustration. “I don’t know. I might have done something stupid. I don’t know how to face Mingi.”

“Just talk to him,” he told you, attacking a corner on the floor with a mop and you suppressed a giggle at his dedication. “Avoiding each other won’t do either of you any good. It might calm Erebos down too.”

“Why? What happened to Erebos?”

“I think it’s angry with Mingi for trying to take control of him again,” Seonghwa revealed and you wondered if that happened while you were on the hill two nights ago. “The last time this happened, the conflict grew until Erebos took full control of Mingi and didn’t let him back in for a while. So my advice is, just talk and smother their conflict if you’re involved.”

You bit your lips- you were messing things up. You didn’t mean for it to happen this way, and you needed to confront Mingi now. 

So after you were done for the day, when there were a few hours left until sunset, you knocked on Mingi’s door. When he opened the door and looked surprised, you half expected him to slam the door in your face but he simply passed a smile.

“What brings you here?”

He noticed the flush on your cheeks. He didn’t need your answer, he knew why you were here. So before you could say something, he opened the door wider and let you in. 

You had been in his room maybe twice before, but you still enjoyed looking around at the desk next to the window with a lamp and notes sprawled across its surface, the blue and grey curtains and pillows- had he matched on purpose? The paintings of shadows on his wall that must have been Erebos’s doing. You sat at the edge of the bed and he took the seat near you.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“I am,” his voice was low. “Are you?”

“I think, yes,” you wanted to meet his eyes but couldn’t look at him. “I wanted to talk to you about… two nights ago.” Mingi shifted uncomfortably at the mention and you licked your suddenly dry lips as you finally locked eyes with him. “Are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be angry with you?” Mingi’s voice was almost a whisper and it only confused you further.

“I… I don’t know what you’re thinking, Mingi,” you sighed. “I expected you to come bursting through my room and yell at me, warn me to be careful or something, but you… both of you- why are you giving me space now?”

Mingi took a deep breath. “I do want to ask you why you kissed Erebos. But… it’s not my place to ask, is it?”

“I mean…” your cheeks were flushing. “You do share a body, unfortunately. Maybe you do have a right to ask.”

Mingi took another deep breath. “I’ve lived a long life, y/n. I’ve had lovers in the past too. At first, navigating my relationships was awkward- especially when Erebos and I didn’t have better control of ourselves. And Erebos drove away anyone I got close to- more often unintentionally. No one likes demons- but you,” he cocked his head. “You’re different when you’re with Erebos. You’re not like that with me.”

“Do you wish I was?”

“And you ask the most unexpected questions,” he smiled in defeat. “So tell me, why did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, finally feeling a bit relaxed now that he had broken the ice. A part of you wished you and Mingi could talk about it as if Erebos was a separate, independent entity. “I like Erebos. The demon… is not all that bad. And I might have regretted it but… sometimes I feel like it has a heart too, you know? The way it talks or looks at certain things…”

“Erebos does not have a heart,” Mingi reminded you softly, leaning forward. “And I’m scared the demon might take advantage of you.”

“I understand your worries, Mingi,” you nodded. “But really, I think I know what I’m doing. I just want to know if you’re okay with that. I will take a step back but I won’t stop spending time with Erebos.”

“I’m not okay with that,” Mingi said after a moment and you frowned in confusion. “I… I don’t want you to get hurt. If Erebos does something… I fear you’ll look at me with hatred and disgust in your eyes.”

“Oh, Mingi,” you got up- he was genuinely worried about you. How stupid had you been to dismiss that? “I would never…”

“That’s the thing, y/n,” he shook his head with a sad smile. “I’ve always had to deal with the aftermath of things I didn’t do. I’m afraid it will happen again.”

“What did Erebos do?” You asked, walking cautiously towards him and he looked up at you with guarded eyes. “I’m sorry for your pain.”

“It’s okay,” he looked down. “I haven’t been all that good either. I’m no better than a demon myself-”

“You’re wrong,” you brought shaking hands to hold his face and make him look at you. “You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve met, Mingi. You saved me and I am forever in your debt-”

“There’s no debt-”

“No, listen,” your brows furrowed in focus as you locked eyes with his dark pupils, trying not to imagine the stars in his eyes you had started to love. “I like where we are, Mingi. I wish you would open up to me more and stop being cautious. I wish you would tell me exactly what bothers you so I can at least do something about it instead of treading carefully around you. I wish you would… look at me, Mingi.”

You didn’t know where the words came from, but one thing you were sure about was that you were addressing Mingi, not Erebos. 

“How can I look at you when every time you look at me, you think of the demon inside me?”

You smiled at that. “These brown eyes of yours don’t belong to the demon. Nor does the kindness in them. Neither are they so guarded-” you traced his brows and Mingi inhaled sharply. “And your smile- it isn’t taunting. It isn’t demanding. It is the loveliest smile I’ve seen and produces the loveliest sounds I’ve heard- they’re yours.”

This time, you couldn’t help but trace his lips. The same lips that had kissed you, the same softness of them- your heart fluttered at the proximity and switch of positions now. Mingi, however, was in a trance and didn’t move at all, only watching you staring at his lips for the longest time until you blinked, finally coming back to reality. You smiled again, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. 

“When I see you, I only see you,” you said- it wasn’t a lie. “And when I see Erebos… I only see the demon. I’m trying my best not to mix the two. You don’t have to be worried about what Erebos does to me, just as Erebos is not worried about what you do with me.”

“And what makes you think Erebos is not worried?” Mingi said and you raised a brow, drawing your hands away from his face. “Do you know why I didn’t come yelling at you yesterday? Because Erebos took over me every time I thought of that.”

Despite the graveness of the topic, you couldn’t help but laugh at that and soon Mingi joined, both of you shaking your heads in amusement. “So I was right about you. I do know you.”

“No you don’t,” Mingi scoffed and for a moment, you saw Erebos behind those eyes. “Anyways, it’s really not a good idea, whatever you think you’re doing. Ask Erebos tonight what he wants with you, will you?”

So you waited for Erebos by the fireplace like you usually did. And this time, Erebos joined, hesitancy in its steps so unlike its usual behaviour. The demon slumped down on the sofa across you and stared daggers into the fireplace.

“Someone’s sulking,” you commented.

“Not in the mood tonight, little bird.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

“You know why.”

“I don’t,” you straightened, not liking its tone. “So tell me why.”

“Why did you talk to Mingi about us?”

The demon finally met eyes with you and you wiped any expressions off your face before you replied, “I didn’t realise I was not allowed to talk with Mingi about the very demon who lives inside him.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” it clenched its jaw and you realised you did. But you weren’t going to admit it.

“Why don’t you tell me what exactly you didn’t like?”

“Look at you,” it scoffed. “What answers are you trying to get out of me?”

You slumped back in defeat. “First of all, I can talk to Mingi about whatever I want. You don’t get to have a say in it. And secondly… I haven’t even asked you anything yet.”

Erebos mirrored your position. “Then why does Mingi get to have a say in what we do?”

“He doesn’t-”

“But you told him you will take a step back because he’s interfering-”

“That’s not why-” you paused as realisation dawned on you. “Are you pissed because I said I’d take a step back from what we did?”

When Erebos didn’t answer, you leaned forward. “I am taking a step back from you because when you kissed me that night, it wasn’t you. What happened to you that night, Erebos? You scared me for a moment and then you looked hurt. What am I supposed to make of it?”

Erebos didn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the ends of its shirt. 

“What do you want with me, Erebos?” You finally asked the question that had been gnawing on your mind before Mingi ever instructed you. However, Erebos remained quiet. You let the demon have a few moments until you couldn’t take it anymore and then you got up.

“Don’t come to me until your head is clear.”

“Wait-” 

You stopped walking away when you heard the urgency in the demon’s voice. You turned to find Erebos standing as if it was about to come after you if you didn’t stop. The demon came near you, running a hand through its messy hair and you turned to hear it. 

“I don’t know what happened to me,” Erebos finally admitted, its voice low and your heart tugged. “All I know is that I’ve never wanted anything more in that moment and I was consumed by something foreign even for me. If you hadn’t stopped me, you would have regretted it. I thought I hurt you, and I didn’t like it, even when I usually enjoy hurting humans. What do I make of it, little bird? Why don’t you tell me?”

You knew you were treading on such dangerous territories but the fact that Erebos was making all these confessions, you simply couldn’t find it in your heart to leave it be. You bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to work out a response but you found yourself speechless instead.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me, little bird,” the demon whispered and you shook your head. 

“What will we do, Erebos?”

“Do we have to worry?” Erebos stepped towards you, making you take a step back out of habit. It smirked and you rolled your eyes, knowing it was in teasing mode now. It stepped towards you, making you step back until your back hit the wall and you were trapped. You glared at the demon.

“Now this is what I like to see,” Erebos grinned. You pushed its chest but it grabbed your wrists, making you gape at it but when it caressed them softly, your eyes changed-

“This look in your eyes,” the demon’s raspy voice practically sounded inside you. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else with that look in your eyes.”

“I didn’t-”

“Not even Mingi,” it almost snarled and instead of fear, warmth coursed through your body. “No one else, you understand?”

“I don’t look at Mingi that way-”

“Don’t make me shut you up,” it cocked its head dangerously. “Now… what were you saying about taking a step back from us? When I can practically taste your needs?”

“Erebos,” you sighed in defeat, resting your head on its chest. “Please. Let me think this through.”

“Why do you need to think this through?” Erebos practically whined. “Look at me, little bird.”

With immense effort, you raised your head. If you expected to see the same darkness that took over the demon that night, it wasn’t there. It was just… Erebos being itself. However, you were a bit startled by the sudden proximity as if it finally sank in that you were in its arms yet again. Erebos’s eyes were glazed and it pressed its lips to your temple, lingering before drawing back.

“You can think all you want,” the demon whispered in your ear, tugging at your earlobe with its teeth, making a whimper leave your mouth. “But I know you’ll come back to me, little bird.”

You instinctively craned your neck and you could feel Erebos smirk as it trailed its lips along your neck, resting at your collarbone, its warm breath caressing your skin. You longed to touch the demon but its grip on your wrists was strong. When its full lips pressed on the edge of your collarbone, your knees nearly gave in and you struggled to stand.

As if having proved a point, Erebos stepped back. “I’m not human so I can wait for you as long as you want,” it said, gaze travelling everywhere on your face. “So you can take your time.”

You narrowed your eyes, snatching your wrists away and rubbing them. “You could have simply said that.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Erebos smirked and you tried to calm your thumping heart. “Talking about fun… want to go mage-hunting with me? I have some rogue mages I plan to catch tonight.”

“I’m sure I’ll only slow you down,” you retorted but the demon shook its head, saying you wouldn’t.

It couldn’t have been more wrong.

“You may have the ability to see in the dark but in case you forgot, I’m a mere human,” you spat, scoffing when Erebos stifled its laugh, tripping yet again on another object in the narrow alley you were navigating through. 

“Hold my hand then,” Erebos sounded so smug that you refused to comply. You knew the demon was trying to initiate physical contact through any means possible- all night, it had been a battle of finger brushes, stolen pecks to the cheek or forehead which may have made your heart skip a beat at first but was now annoying you to death-

Another kiss on your temple and a deep laughter boomed and you nearly screamed in frustration. “Erebos, I swear to the heavens above I will obliterate you-”

“Shh,” you felt a finger on your lips in the utter darkness. “Someone’s here- don’t move.”

You obeyed, eyes wide as you glanced around, barely seeing anything in the cloudy night. What were you thinking when you decided this was a good idea?

“I sense one of them,” the demon whispered in your ear, guiding you to stand next to the wall and stay there. “I’ll be back. You have your knife, yes?”

“Oh, I do, completely forgot,” you muttered, checking in your cloak. “Should have stabbed you when I had the chance.”

“I’m going to remove the shadows from around you,” Erebos said and slowly, your vision became better. With a gentle pat to your cheek, the demon went after the mage, leaving you smiling to yourself.

The smile fell when you heard a scream that did not belong to Erebos. You waited for the sounds to die, almost moving from your spot but you knew better than to disobey the demon. After a few minutes, it was back looking proud of itself and you shook your head.

“Are we done?” You asked and Erebos nodded. “Did you… kill the mage?”

“Only put shadow cuffs on him,” Erebos answered. “They nullify magic.”

Your mouth shaped into an O and you asked if you were going home now. Erebos told you it had one last spot to visit and you followed, this time hand intertwined with its own.

You never expected the spot to be a graveyard. You squeezed the demon’s hand but it didn’t respond, simply navigating through the graves until it stopped in front of an unnamed one with a cherry blossom tree sprouting from it.

You watched Erebos look up as if it was praying- who did demons pray to? Did they share the same gods as humans? It didn’t leave your hand once, though, and you felt as if you were invading a private moment. 

When Erebos was done, it passed you a smile and led you further to a bench where you sat. “You must have questions.”

“I do, but you don’t have to answer them,” you told the demon who looked at you gratefully, though it decided to tell you.

“The first time Mingi fell in love after we started sharing a body, I was disgusted by those foreign emotions. It was like the human lost all control of who he was, of his heart and mind. And at that time, we did not know how to live with each other and often slipped into each other’s consciousness unknowingly. And with that… my magic was unstable as well. One wrong move on my part and I took away something from Mingi that I’m still sorry for.”

Your heart sank as you glanced towards the grave and then back at Erebos. “You blame yourself.”

Erebos nodded at your statement. “It’s the only thing I have felt sorry for in my life, because I, too, experienced the love when it was not meant for me. When I didn’t welcome it.”

It explained so much of Mingi’s hesitant and cautious behaviour, of his worries and fears. It also explained some of Erebos’s behaviour. You put a hand on top of the demon’s hand, caressing it. 

“Actions like these wouldn’t have meant anything for me, but after centuries, my heart feels warm again- I don’t know if it’s Mingi’s heart or mine, and it’s making me confused. That night… I almost made the same mistake again and I was so scared. I’m not scared to face the consequences, I’m scared to live with them.”

“But you didn’t,” you whispered. “You didn’t lose control.”

“And what if I do?” Erebos looked at you, eyes dark. “Perhaps, living inside a human has changed me. All I wanted was to destroy yet here I am. I want you all to myself, so selfishly. I want to feel these funny and strange feelings more. I want you, but what if I make the same mistake, this time with someone I-”

With someone I love- the statement hung in the air- perhaps because the demon was not sure if it was love though it had never desired for anything more, perhaps because it was afraid to say it in case things went south, perhaps because it couldn’t bear to see the disgust in your eyes at its confession-

But then you rested your head on Erebos’s shoulder and all its worries dissipated. “I don’t know what it’s like to love,” you said. “I don’t know what this is either, but… I like it. And I’m not afraid of you, Erebos. I feel safe with you- I don’t know why. I never once felt unsafe with you, even when you nearly lost control.”

You felt Erebos relax considerably at your confession. You continued. “I’m sorry for what happened. It must have been hard for you too.”

There it was- your consideration. The one thing that drew Erebos to you from the first moment you met. No one had ever talked to the demon like that in its entire life- how could it not love it?

So the demon rested its face against your head, an impending feeling of doom swirling in its gut, because there was one thing both Mingi and Erebos hid from you-

That you could not love the both of them at the same time. Even if you were halfway there already and neither of them was able to stop you, you could not. It would be the end of one or the other, but…

Did it matter if they got a taste of your love?

—-----------------------

“Wait- don’t light the fire just yet- Wooyoung!”

You shut your eyes more in defeat than to brace yourself from the loud blast that sounded because Wooyoung lit the match at the wrong time during the middle of creating a potion. You could smell smoke and hear Wooyoung’s low giggles and you wondered why you ever agreed to experiment with the healer.

Your father had worked with mages for a long time, and when he was sick and had contacted Wooyoung, they had come up with recipes for new potions while Wooyoung healed him. Your father gave you his notes before his death and you still remembered the recipes, deciding to work with Wooyoung, trying the one for- 

“Agility, you said?” Wooyoung asked, coughing a bit and you finally opened your eyes to see him draw a cross on his notes. 

“Yes, and if you hadn’t been hell-bent on tweaking it, we wouldn’t be covered in soot,” you groaned. “I said light the fire after the lavender is soaked in the liquid, not when it’s still floating.”

“Are you sure it works?” Wooyoung passed you a cryptic look. “Maybe I do need to tweak it…”

“It’s worked,” you folded your arms defensively. “I’ve used them,” you said, recalling when you once saw your father and Wooyoung working in his lab. “You must remember from his notes, right?”

“Always sneaking around, were you?” Wooyoung cooed. “I distinctly remember your father telling you to go play in your room or something- you were always hiding in the corners.”

“I don’t sneak around now-”

“I saw you shadowing Mingi earlier,” he winked at you and you pouted. “Why do you keep following him around?”

You looked away from Wooyoung’s searching gaze but found yourself caged when he continued to stare at you, waiting for an answer. You sighed deeply.

“Because he’s either hiding something from me or he hates me and I need to know what it is.”

You did not miss Wooyoung’s subtle eye roll but only you were aware of how Mingi was trying to avoid your eyes, would look at you when you thought you didn’t know he was, and appeared to be about to say something but would then stop. It was a game of push and pull now, and you were losing.

“That’s not it,” Wooyoung shook his head. “It’s probably something else.”

“I’m just confused, Wooyoung. Is it because Erebos told me about Mingi’s first love? Is that a topic the demon should have avoided? Or is it because…”

Because you continued to tread on dangerous lines with Erebos. And because Mingi could probably see some of it himself- after all, how much could Erebos push him back into their subconscious? Was it making Mingi confused because it always used to be the other way round?

“Erebos, huh?” Wooyoung tsk-ed. “If your father saw you today…”

You glared at him. “He’d be proud of me for running away and making it alive. And proud that I’m tolerating you lot.”

“Isn’t it us tolerating the human?” Wooyoung wondered out loud and you threw the nearest object- a flask- at him, which he caught, grinning. “I can tell you he’s not avoiding you on purpose. Something must be bothering him. He couldn’t hate you even if he tried.”

You looked at the healer. “Why?”

“Why don’t you ask him that?” Wooyoung got up and began to clean the mess, tossing you a washcloth so you could help. “He’s not always like this. He looks like something is eating him up.”

Wooyoung wasn’t wrong. Over the course of the past few days, while you and Erebos only grew friendlier- the demon even more teasing and reckless than ever, you and Mingi had also settled into something calm and… cosy. Where Erebos was a literal manifestation of shadows and being with him felt dark and thrilling, Mingi radiated warmth like none other- his voice grounded you and being with him washed a sense of tranquillity over you. You did not know what you craved more, especially because Erebos had been busier recently and you spent more time with Mingi.

Mingi didn’t talk about whatever you and Erebos discussed that night in the graveyard, but his smile had become kinder as if he himself was grateful that you didn’t run away from him. You wondered how many people ran away from him simply because of the demon inside him- he, too, must have been hurt because of the looks of fear or disgust he received. You recalled a couple of days ago when you were watching him trim the plants surrounding the house and he had looked so shy that it made your heart ache unexpectedly-

“Don’t look at me like that, y/n.” 

“Like what?”

“Like how you look at Erebos. As if he’s everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“But-”

“I just can’t take it”, he smiled helplessly. “It makes me want something that isn’t mine.”

Despite this, Mingi didn’t push you away. He continued to find you during the day and engage you in some activity, and even if you two didn’t talk you’d find solace being in each other’s company. However, his casual finger brushes and pats hadn’t escaped your notice. You knew he was very physically affectionate even with Seonghwa and Wooyoung and perhaps this was the same, but he didn’t look at you the way he looked at the others. You knew that well and good.

After cleaning the soot, you went outside for a breather, spotting Mingi at the bank of the river, this time with his feet dipped in the water. He seemed to be enjoying the warm rays of sun, head tipped backwards. Despite your quiet steps, he seemed to have heard the ruffle of grass and motioned for you to join him. You rolled your trousers up a little before sinking your feet into the cool water, grinning to yourself as you settled down.

“Such a nice day today, isn’t it?” You looked up at the fluffy clouds spreading across the sky. “The sun is about to set. I should have joined you earlier.”

“We still have some time,” he smiled. “I heard a little blast inside. Wooyoung again?”

“Me, but it was Wooyoung who messed us up,” you laughed. “Did you manage to find the missing mage?”

“Not yet. I’ve been searching since sunrise but there’s no sign. Erebos might be able to sense the mage better so I’ll leave it to the demon. I’m done for the day.”

“Well, at least the demon is useful for one thing,” you joked and he laughed- he quite enjoyed when you made fun of Erebos and you were glad talking about the demon wasn’t something that made you two awkward anymore. 

“But you should know,” Mingi started, “We don’t work for the Mage Society willingly. It’s something we have to do so they will allow us to live.”

You frowned- that was news to you. “Why?”

“They just don’t like the idea that a human is a mage now,” he looked at you. “You know they’ve always discriminated between pure mages and mages who were once human.”

You were aware that Mingi was once human, however, you were not aware of the circumstances that brought Erebos to possess Mingi. “Can I ask how…”

Mingi seemed to understand and he nodded. “I was simply at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Erebos needed a human vessel who it could coexist with. Not all humans can live with a demon inside them, you know.”

You made an impressed face. “So there was something special about you?”

“You could say. Perhaps I was stronger- maybe physically, maybe mentally. We did have a rough time coexisting in the beginning but we’re used to each other now.”

“And why did Erebos need a human vessel? Because it was cursed?”

Mingi paused and you realised he was wondering if you should have asked that from him. He took a deep breath before he said, “Cursed and exiled from the demon realm, like Seonghwa.”

You were satisfied with his answer. “Do you ever wonder if there was a reason why you had to be the human that Erebos possessed?”

“I do,” he admitted. “Even though we haven’t found any answer yet. I guess it was fate, then. So I could meet the people and be here at this moment?” He looked at you and smiled. “Something like that?”

Before you could respond, his brows furrowed and he brought his hand to the side of your face, his fingers gripping the crevice between your ear and neck as he ran his thumb across your cheekbone. “Were you playing with fire? You’re smudged with soot-”

Perhaps, he noticed the way your eyes opened a fraction wider or your lips parted as if it was suddenly hard to breathe. Perhaps, he could hear the loud thumping of your heart. Or maybe he noticed the way your eyes scanned his face- you could see the browns in his eyes, the shadow his lashes casted over them, the mole under his eye. Maybe he could tell you loved the way his hair fell over his forehead, the dark and blue strands resembling the night sky.

You blinked and waited for him to draw away but he didn’t and it only made you more anxious for what was next. Swallowing once, you barely managed to whisper his name. He only caressed your cheekbone in answer, still seeming to be in a trance as he locked eyes with you. When he started leaning forward, you wondered if your eyes betrayed you in that moment- that he saw that you wanted this. Wanted him-

He paused when your noses almost brushed. “I-I shouldn’t-”

“It’s okay,” you breathed, locking eyes. “It’s… okay.”

What was okay, he wondered? The fact that he had come back to his senses before he did anything? Or was it an approval to go ahead and do whatever he wanted to do at that moment? 

Mingi looked down and smiled a bit- whatever this was… it had been such a long time since he felt like this- like his nerves were on fire. When he found you smiling shyly as well, he couldn’t take it- he planted a kiss on your cheek, patting it once before saying he was heading inside, leaving you wondering how during that moment, not once did you think about the demon inside him.

Not once.

—----------------------

Later that night, when you were fixing up a loose thread on your dress in your room, you heard two sharp knocks- a sound you were very familiar with now. Somehow, Erebos and you had come up with this- if your door was slightly open, he could knock and come in, otherwise he would take it as a sign to bug off. It also applied to you and being on the end of a shut door was not a pleasant feeling, but you two were also crossing these boundaries now- opening a shut door just a fraction to check if the other was okay.

“What you doing?” Erebos sang as it entered, making itself home on your bed. You hummed in response- the demon could clearly see what you were doing. Breaking the thread with your teeth, you secured the stitch and put it aside, folding your arms as you shook your head at how comfortable the demon looked.

“I thought I made it clear that I don’t want you in my bed.”

Erebos scoffed. “The seat is not empty.”

You glanced towards the seat- you did not remember putting a bunch of clothes on it. You narrowed your eyes at the demon but decided to let it go. “Did you find the mage?”

“Just returned,” the demon answered, “Was my little bird waiting for me?”

“As if,” you tsk-ed, looking away- of course you were. You just wouldn’t ever admit it. After all, you waited all day for this part of the night.

And all night to see Mingi-

“I can taste the lies in the air, human,” the demon licked its lips. “Tell me… why did you ask Mingi about why I possessed him today?”

So it had been listening. You gulped, wondering if the demon had also witnessed the look in your eyes when Mingi was so close-

“I didn’t mean to ask,” you glared at it- Erebos knew you never probed. You never even asked it, save for that one time you did and got the silent treatment. 

“I know,” the demon’s gaze softened for a mere second before it darkened. “And why did you look at Mingi like that? I thought I made it clear that you cannot look at anyone else that way?”

You rolled your eyes even though your heart sank. You did feel guilty, but somehow… it felt alright. “I can look at whoever I want whatever way I want.”

“Oh? Can you now?” Erebos chuckled deeply and you passed it an annoyed look, getting up to put your clothes back in the cupboard. 

However, you did not expect to find it standing- no, towering over you when you turned around- you hadn’t even heard the demon move. You shut your eyes as you tried to calm your heart, but-

But the demon’s hands cupped your face so softly that for a second, you wondered if it was Mingi instead. Only upon opening your eyes and spotting the stars in its irises confirmed that it was indeed the demon.

Erebos looked conflicted as it scanned your eyes. Your gaze softened too- it had been a while since the demon looked at you like you were not a meal- an inside joke now. It reminded you of your first and only kiss, in the hills when the demon had nearly lost control. You leaned into the demon’s touch when it caressed your face and saw the telltale signs of a smile on its lips.

“Can you not look at Mingi with these eyes, little bird?” Erebos almost sounded hurt. “I don’t like it.”

“Erebos, I-”

“No,” the demon shook its head. “I don’t want to know- just let me…”

If the demon was going to ask for permission, it must have decided against it because it crashed its lips on yours, earning a surprised groan from you but you immediately melted into the kiss, clutching at the demon’s shirt. Erebos leaned down to kiss you better and it was just like the first time again, making you breathless and your heart ached as it yearned to be closer to the demon in every way possible. 

You broke apart, already out of breath but Erebos’s lips were back on your skin, peppering kisses all the way down your jaw to your neck and then back up, looking at you once- perhaps to make sure if you were okay- before diving back in to kiss your lips. You responded more eagerly this time, your arms wrapping around its neck and the demon took that sign to pick you up, earning a giggle from you and you absolutely loved the way the demon smiled at you- it was pure. You didn’t doubt the demon’s intentions once and this just strengthened your beliefs. 

Erebos placed you on the bed- not so gently this time- and you both laughed a bit, taking a moment to simply look at the other. You crawled on the demon’s lap, its arms going to hold your waist, and ran a hand through the soft strands of its hair- Mingi’s hair- that you so loved. You traced the edges of its face- Mingi’s face- and kissed the mole under its eye-

How could you kiss him and not see Mingi?

Erebos seemed to notice the hesitation in your eyes and you thought the demon looked sad for a moment before it craned its neck to kiss you again, slower this time, deeper, as if it wanted to say a lot but didn’t have the words for it. You kissed the demon back just like that, making out endlessly with its hands everywhere on your body until you heard it suppress a little groan. You drew back for a second but then it pushed you back on the bed, getting on top of you and-

Pressing its thigh between your legs as it kissed you almost hungrily- the sudden shift almost made you a little dizzy and you cupped its face, breaking apart-

“Erebos- tell me your name, please-”

The demon kissed you again, slowing down just a notch and you moaned into the kiss, loving as its hands found your bare skin, loving the way it rocked its body against yours, loving the way its plump lips tasted on yours, loving the gasp that left its mouth-

Not Erebos, your mind screamed and you broke apart for breath, noticing even in the faint light of the lamp that the eyes no longer had stars in it. 

Mingi had taken over.

Mingi seemed to understand that you knew, yet, when he drew in and brushed his nose against you, you almost moaned. You became hyper aware of his hand on your bare waist where your shirt had lifted, of his other hand squeezing your neck gently as if all his self-control lay there, of his chest rocking against yours as he took deep breaths. This time, you were the one who pulled him in and swallowed all his hesitation as you kissed him, with a dreadful realisation that perhaps, you had failed to keep the boundaries, the distinctions clear. Mingi didn’t seem to mind though- he kissed you back just as enthusiastically, welcoming your tongue in his mouth.

Just as Mingi groaned in pleasure into the kiss, it changed into one of pain and he drew back abruptly. You noticed how his eyes blackened altogether as he clutched his head. You got up into a sitting position and leaned towards him to help but he pushed you away-

“Y/n, run.”

“No, Mingi- please-”

“No,” Mingi clenched his jaw and buried his head in the bed. You realised it was Erebos and the demon must be so, so angry- not only with Mingi, but you. You caressed his head despite his constant warnings and held him.

“Erebos,” you almost cried. “Please. Not like this.”

Mingi calmed down almost completely and you wondered if he had lost consciousness before he raised his head and you saw the stars in his angry eyes as it looked at you questioningly.

“I’m sorry,” you cried, wiping your eyes. “I don’t have anything else to say.”

Erebos was silent and you wondered if the demon hadn’t heard you until you noticed the shadows seeping out of it and spreading in the room. You squeezed the demon’s hand, locking eyes with it. “Look at me, Erebos.”

“Why?”

A strangled cry left you when you heard how broken, how devastated the demon sounded. Erebos buried its head in your lap and shadows continued to seep out of its body and you dared to touch the edge of one, drawing away with a cry- it seemed to burn. 

“Erebos?” You caressed its head. “Erebos, please-”

“Go away,” the demon simply said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You pursed your lips, looking towards the door when you heard the sound of footsteps- it was Seonghwa and he looked utterly surprised. He rushed towards you and said, “You need to get away from Erebos- the shadows are not safe right now.”

“I can’t leave Erebos like this,” you cried. 

“Take her before I hurt her,” Erebos said, almost falling limp and you snatched your arm away when Seonghwa tried to grab it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t leave them like this- both Mingi and Erebos,” you told him and he looked conflicted. You shut your eyes and hugged their body, not minding the way your skin burned wherever it came in contact with the shadows. You hummed a melody that your father used to sing at your bed and Seonghwa gasped, drawing away from you-

The shadows were not hurting you- not anymore.

He watched both your and Mingi’s body melt into each other as you lost consciousness, the shadows no longer in the air. He made sure the two of you were breathing and were alright before he left the room and found his way to the kitchen, slumping on a chair-

Maybe it was time- never had Erebos been able to control its magic from hurting someone until this moment. It was as if even though the demon had lost consciousness, it still knew to protect you.

Seonghwa smiled at the two bodies that clung to each other, as if providing comfort. His smile was sad though- it looked like the curse would soon break. 

It was going to be a mess.

—---------------------

You woke up with every muscle in your body aching as if you had overused it. Groaning, you turned in the bed, biting your lips to swallow the cry of pain that would have left you. You blinked a few times, trying to recall just what you had done last night to be this tired-

Mingi.

You got up with immense effort- he was not here anymore and it was dark outside- just how long had you been sleeping? You noticed the glass of water and a potion next to you, a note attached in Wooyoung’s handwriting that said ‘you better drink this before you move’. Knowing Wooyoung’s potion would probably do you some good, you drank the bitter pink liquid before exiting the room-

It was so, so dark outside. Unnaturally dark and you could barely see anything. With a dreadful realisation, you started towards Mingi’s room, letting your hand against the wall guide you towards the end of the hall. You found a faint light from the room and when you entered, you first saw Seonghwa leaning towards something, a white flame lighting the lone candle in the corner-

Seonghwa was caressing something- someone. Mingi. 

Seonghwa’s head turned when a strangled cry left your mouth and he urged you to wait outside. You stood like a little kid behind the door until he urged you to follow him to Wooyoung’s room, who was going through some notes.

“I can’t find anything,” Wooyoung sighed in defeat, slumping on the couch. “Don’t you remember if something like this has happened in the past?”

“Each curse is unique,” Seonghwa simply said as if that explained everything.

“What’s happening?” You tried not to sound frantic but failed. “Why are they like this?”

“Do you remember what happened before you passed out?” Seonghwa asked.

“I… I was trying to calm them down- Mingi and Erebos.” you recalled. “I was humming a song my father taught me and then… why did I pass out? Was it because of their magic?”

“You could have died, y/n,” Seonghwa shook his head. “Somehow, they protected you with their magic, even when they lost control. Do you know that’s the first time they’ve ever been able to do that?”

Your heart sank- you recalled all the stories Mingi and Erebos had told you about not being able to protect the people they loved when they lost control and the shadows burned them- they burned you a bit too but when you hummed…

“They must have felt you even when they were far gone,” Wooyoung smiled sadly. “I don’t know if I should be pleased about it though…”

“Well, we have got to do something about Mingi and Erebos,” Seonghwa said. “I wouldn’t suggest you going to them right now- it might not work in your favour.”

You didn’t quite understand what they were getting at. “But it happened because of me. I… I knew Erebos wouldn’t like it if I became closer to Mingi, but…”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Wooyoung muttered and Seonghwa looked at him in warning but he shook his head. “She should know.”

“What now?” Your voice quivered.

“You should know that it’s not your fault,” Wooyoung said gently. “The demon was cursed. Did they ever tell you why?”

You shook your head in denial and Wooyoung motioned at Seonghwa to continue. “Ages ago, Erebos was a high status demon in their realm. The Lord of Shadows. Erebos was powerful enough to control other demons, and though it had better things to do than involve itself in petty mischief, it was also powerful enough to undo their damage- mainly human possession which was very rampant at that time. One day… Erebos came across some demon who was violating the demon code- we are not allowed to leave evidence of demon possession, but that demon wanted to show the world that it could do whatever it pleased.

“Erebos wasn’t going to involve itself but one thing led to another and since Erebos held the authority, it killed that demon. Turns out the demon was some other high lord’s underling who got pissed and reported it to the court where Erebos was going to receive its judgement.”

“But… it wasn’t Erebos’s fault,” you said and Seonghwa nodded.

“The demons aren’t forgiving. If they forgive, wouldn’t that make them human?” He smiled. “Erebos could have been ‘grounded’, in layman terms, or stripped of his title but demons are a sadistic bunch. They twisted his intentions thinking that the demon ‘pitied’ the human. They cursed him to live inside a human, to feel like a human does, until-”

“Until?” You waited but Seonghwa glanced at Wooyoung now. Your heart sank as you recalled something familiar-

The scroll Mingi had hid under the plank in the hallway.

You got up and went outside, walking almost mechanically towards the end of the hallway and took out the scroll and watched Wooyoung shake his head, confirming your suspicions. You opened it and read it again:

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

“What does it mean?” You went back inside the room and spread the scroll on the table. “They’re clearly talking about Erebos, but…”

“‘A curse both must fight, to one’s end they dive, for love’,” Seonghwa quoted. “They will continue to fight the curse to one’s end because ultimately, only one of them can live inside that body. No matter how much they try to coexist, it’s not possible- this episode they’re having is not their first one but it might be their final one, because…”

“‘For love’,” Wooyoung’s smile was sad. “Once the two fall in love with the same person… the curse will break. It’s twisted because a demon is not supposed to feel those emotions but Erebos can feel them now, because of Mingi. Mingi has fallen in love a few times in the past centuries but Erebos never gave in, until…”

It couldn’t be.

“This does not make any sense, it’s stupid,” you almost spat. “Is the curse even real or was it just to mock Erebos? And Erebos is a demon, it cannot love-”

You recalled that night in the graveyard well and good. You recalled what Erebos said about wanting you, wanting to be with you. Could you not call it love when it did so much for you, waited to be with you, touched you like you could break, kissed you like time was running short?

And Mingi… He told you not to look at him the way you looked at Erebos, like the demon was everything you ever wanted. 

“It… cannot be,” you said, not realising your face was wet and your vision was blurry. “What will happen?”

“We do not know,” Wooyoung patted your back. “Maybe try talking to them. Seonghwa, let’s allow her to. We need to know if this is just another episode or if the curse is breaking- if this might be the end.”

“Why did no one tell me about the curse?” You looked at the two.

“Not our place to tell you, and they have forbidden us to,” Seonghwa shook his head. “We only let you know now because the situation called for it.”

“If I had known-”

“If you had known, it would have still happened anyway,” Wooyoung squeezed your shoulder. “Love is not a feeling you can control.”

You stared into the fire for the longest moment, wishing you could undo everything from the moment you met Mingi and Erebos. You wished you had not decided to stay, nor found a family in this odd group. You wished you hadn’t fallen for a demon and then the human who coexisted in one body. But no matter how much you cursed yourself over it, it was no use. 

Love was not a feeling you could control.

You had long since stopped crying, now in a state of numbness. Seonghwa and Wooyoung were patiently waiting for you to make a decision.

“I’m going to try talking to them,” you swallowed the choking feeling in your throat. “I can’t give up- not like this.”

“You’re strong,” Wooyoung smiled proudly. “And I think only you could have done this- make a demon fall for you. How crazy is that?”

You laughed at that, hiding your face as it settled in and a sob left your body. Wooyoung was quick to get up and rub your back.

“It’s tragic, I know, but it has been very painful for them to coexist in one body,” he told you. “We helped in any way we could but it was never enough. I think they found comfort in you- both Mingi and Erebos. It’s going to be okay, don’t lose faith.”

“I don’t want to lose them,” you cried. “I don’t want to lose either of them. It’s very selfish of me, but-”

“We’ve grown quite attached to them too,” Seonghwa admitted. “But we can’t avoid it. It’s cruel, but it is the way it is.”

You nodded, preparing yourself for what was next, hoping for a miracle that you knew might not come.

—------------------------

It was dark and it was cold. There was no way out. The darkness hugged Mingi and the cold settled in his bones. There was not a sound- not even of his own breath. The shadows were endless.

Mingi wondered how he had gotten here but there was no answer. It was just the way it was, how it happened. There was no one to blame, no one to point fingers at. He had learned not to question how cruel the hands of fate could be. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if it really had to be this way.

Mingi called Erebos’s name, hoping to find solace in the darkness of their subconsciousness but Erebos seemed to have given in to the void as well. So Mingi waited, not alone but so lonely. He waited for Erebos to wake up, for a miracle to happen-

“Mingi? Can you hear me?”

It was your voice, so distant that he wondered if he was imagining it. 

“Erebos? Mingi? Please, talk to me.”

No- it was real. Their names were being called. Mingi looked around, blindly thrashing around in hopes of finding Erebos, wondering if the demon could hear it too. 

As Mingi started gaining a bit of consciousness, he could make out another figure in the void- Erebos’s figure- he did not know if the demon had a body of its own but whenever the two interacted in their subconscious, it was like they were looking in a mirror. The only difference had always been in their eyes. 

“Erebos,” Mingi nudged the demon’s body, sitting with its head buried between its knees, arms wrapped around itself as if that could protect the demon from what was ahead. “Wake up.”

The demon didn’t budge and Mingi heard your voice call for them again. He was pretty sure Erebos was ignoring it on purpose now. “Hey, I know you can hear me and her. Look at me.”

The demon finally gave an indication of not having lost it completely by tapping its fingers- a sign Mingi would have missed had he not been paying attention. Mingi sighed deeply. “How long are you going to be like this?”

“I’m just wondering…” Erebos finally said, not looking up. “If this is the end.”

Mingi was wondering too- it had never been so dark here. He could feel their magic getting out of control, nothing like they had ever experienced before. No matter how much he tried to get back into his consciousness, it wasn’t working. 

“The curse, huh?” Mingi shook his head. “So you’re in love with y/n? I thought you were incapable of love.”

“I thought I was too,” Erebos finally looked up. “Until I found myself protecting her with all my might when you kissed her and we lost control.”

Mingi looked away- it was his fault too. The first time the demon fell in love and he had to be there and mess things up-

“I know what you’re thinking,” Erebos smiled. “I’m not sure I could have fallen in love if it weren’t for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am a demon, Mingi,” Erebos scoffed. “I may only be feeling these human emotions because I live within a human body now.”

“That is not how this works, and you know it,” Mingi tsk-ed. 

“You’re the one who insisted that demons do not have a heart,” Erebos tsk-ed back. 

“I was wrong. Seonghwa is also a demon- he would not have been helping us for centuries if he did not have a heart. He never demanded anything in return. And you…” Mingi shook his head. “I know you blame yourself over what happened when I first fell in love. It was not your fault, and if you were a demon, you wouldn’t have been wallowing in guilt. You would have enjoyed my misery.”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Don’t pretend to be heartless now when you visit the grave every year and pray to god knows who,” Mingi said and Erebos pursed its lips- it had always tried to force Mingi the furthest back in their consciousness whenever it did that, but it looked like the demon may have slipped. “My point is, you don’t love y/n because of me. You love her because she looked at you- from the beginning. She didn’t care that you were a demon. And you love her because you have a heart of your own, no matter how… dark or ugly it may be.”

Erebos laughed at that and Mingi shared a grin as well, silence settling once again. “Okay, you’re right. We wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t in love with her. And you’re in love with her too.”

Mingi smiled sadly. “How could I not be in love with her when she is the way she is?”

“Little bird,” Erebos smiled fondly and Mingi was taken aback by the display of those emotions in the demon’s eyes. Its smile fell when your voice rang in the void again, calling for them both, begging for them to come back. “I know I wished I was never cursed to be in a human body, but I can’t say that I regret it now that I know what it is like to be loved.”

Mingi felt his heart sink. “What are you getting at?”

“I shouldn’t have been in this body in the first place,” Erebos sounded determined. “I do not deserve to choose to live on and kill you in the process.”

Mingi was taken aback by the sudden declaration. “I know only one of us can make it out alive but… I’m only human. I will grow old and die anyway. If you choose to live… I don’t think I would mind, I…” Mingi laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m willingly giving you the choice to live in my body and kill me in the process, but Erebos… that human loves you. You deserve to be loved too.”

Erebos shook its head. “I do not deserve to be loved, but I am thankful for the love I have received. I cannot go back and choose to live. The human loves you too, Mingi. I think she deserves a human, not a demon by her side for the rest of her life.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Erebos got up. “She’s human, Mingi. I would ruin her. And even if I love her with all my heart, I wouldn’t be able to live when she dies- because I will outlive her. I would rather kill myself than see her dead. You humans… you’re used to the notion of death. You understand that you grow old and die. I do not.”

Erebos raised its hands and the shadows gathered in its palms. Mingi took a step back, almost panicking. “What are you doing?”

“Putting an end to this for once and for all,” Erebos announced.

“Wait- wait,” Mingi pounced on him, surprising the demon as they fell. “You don’t get to go just like this. You can’t do this to her- you have to tell her.”

“I can’t face her again-”

“No, you listen to me,” Mingi groaned in frustration. “You can’t do this without saying goodbye.”

“If you think my mind will change once I see her, you’re wrong.”

“I know it won’t,” Mingi shook his head. “But she deserves a goodbye too.”

Erebos thought about it and Mingi could see the doubt in the demon’s eyes. Before Erebos could make a decision, Mingi grabbed Erebos’s hands, the shadows looping around his arm now.

“What do you think you are doing?” Erebos tried snatching its hands away but Mingi smiled, forcing the shadows to shift to himself and-

Forcing Erebos into consciousness.

You felt the shift in the air instantly and watched Erebos lift its head and look at you, almost in disbelief and confusion. A short sob left you as you knelt down next to him, bringing your hands to the demon’s face but hesitating, letting them hover until Erebos relaxed.

“You’re… back,” you caressed its face. “Are you okay?”

Erebos didn’t say anything, simply leaned forward to wrap its arms around you as if it, too, had been afraid. You smiled- this was the first time Erebos actually hugged you. You looped your own arms around its neck and the demon shifted under you, burying its face in the crook of your neck and staying like that for the longest time, not saying a word, simply relishing the feeling-

“Erebos,” you finally whispered. “What happened?”

Erebos didn’t respond, instead nudged your neck with its nose and you would have thought the demon was just having a moment until you felt something wet on your neck and you drew back to see-

The demon was crying.

“What’s the matter?” Your heart broke at the way Erebos was looking at you. Its hands were shaking as they cupped your face and caressed your skin, scanning you as if it was memorising the way you looked. “Erebos, please, tell me what’s going on.”

The demon only smiled, tears streaking down its face. You felt your heart sink in the worst possible way, looking around to see the shadows still wild around you. “The curse… it hasn’t broken yet, has it? Is Mingi okay?”

“He’s okay,” Erebos assured you but you couldn’t relax.

“Is the curse going to break?”

The demon’s silence was enough. You took a deep breath. “Tell me how to undo everything. I will leave. I don’t want you two to live like this-”

“It’s already done,” Erebos wiped the tears from your eyes. “It’s going to end soon, little bird.”

“What do you mean?” You cried out. “What’s going to happen?”

“It’s been an honour to have been loved by you.” 

“No, no, please,” you gripped the demon’s hands. “What are you doing?”

“I was going to leave but Mingi forced me back here so I could… say goodbye,” Erebos laughed a little. “I think it was wise of him to do so.”

“Leave where?” You whispered and you heard a shuffle of sound behind you, Wooyoung and Seonghwa now present in the room. Erebos nodded at them, mouthing a ‘thank you’. Seonghwa took a deep breath, turning around and facing the white flame while Wooyoung put one hand over his heart and one over Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“I was never meant to be here,” Erebos kissed your forehead, lingering. “This is how it is supposed to end. You deserve to be loved by a human, not a demon.”

“That makes no sense,” you let out a short laugh. “I… Please, don’t do this. Tell me how to make it better- there must be a loophole. It doesn’t have to end with one of you-”

You couldn’t say it, hiding your face in Erebos’s lap as you cried your heart out, the demon caressing your body. The sobs racked through your body and you felt like you were in physical pain- you simply couldn’t seem to catch your breath. There was so much you wanted to say to Erebos, so much you wished to tell the demon but you couldn’t form the words.

“I don’t want to leave seeing you cry,” Erebos’s voice was filled with sadness. “I want to see you smiling before I leave. Please, little bird? I don’t have much time.”

You willed everything in you to tone down your sobs and got up, the demon shaking its head in amusement at your state. “What a mess. Still so pretty.”

Erebos tucked your hair back. “It’s been… a long life in this human body. I’ve never felt alive, not once, until I met you. There’s so much I want to thank you for. I’m not even sure if it’s because I am in a human body that I feel all this. Maybe if I was the Lord of Shadows, I still would have found you and still would have loved you. I feel like I was meant to be here.”

“Stop being so sappy,” you pouted and the demon chuckled, wiping the fresh stream of tears from your eyes. You shut your eyes, memorising the way the demon’s skin felt- cold. Too cold to be human. When the demon hugged you again, you memorised the pattern of its breathing- uneven. It had always been irregular. And when the demon kissed your cheek, you memorised the way it felt- like a feather. When the demon joined its forehead with yours, you noted in your heart the sound of its breath against yours. And when the demon kissed you on your lips, you tucked that feeling into the deepest corner of your heart- the feeling of being enveloped in the safest of shadows. 

You stayed like that for a few moments before its body shook and you finally opened your eyes. You could see the light in Erebos’s eyes fade away and it smiled, struggling to keep upright. You sucked in your tears, remembering that Erebos wished for you to smile. You patted your lap and the demon lied down, looking up at you.

“Will you tell me your name now?” You asked.

The demon smiled. “It’s nothing much.”

“Just tell me your name,” you glared at it and the demon laughed. You memorised the sound of it as well.

“Tirich,” it said. “My name is Tirich. It means darkness- or shadow.”

“Tirich,” you called and the demon shut its eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Such a beautiful name. Tirich,” you repeated again, kissing its forehead. 

“Y/n,” it called and you shut your eyes, willing yourself not to cry at the way it said your name. “My little bird.” You laughed and Tirich took one of your hands in its own, while your other caressed its head. “Can you sing me that song again? Before I go to sleep?”

You nodded. Tirich looked over at the healer and the demon still hanging by. “Come here, you two. Stop hanging like bats in the corner.”

You laughed at the duo, looking as messy as you with tear-stained faces and trembling hands. They came to sit near Tirich and the demon looked fondly at them for once, making Wooyoung shake his head.

“Not how I imagined you’d go, but this is better,” he grinned. Tirich grinned back and looked at Seonghwa, tsk-ing. 

“Remind me why they kicked you out of the demon realm again?”

“Shut up,” Seonghwa muttered and everyone laughed at that. “At least I accept that this is the way I am. You’re still wondering if you’re looking at us with heart eyes because of Mingi.”

“It’s definitely Erebos- Tirich,” Wooyoung smiled as he corrected. “I must say I’m disappointed. We’ve spent centuries with you but you go ahead and tell your name to the girl you just met-”

“You wish you were me,” you stuck out your tongue at the healer and he did the same. Tirich coughed a little, drawing everyone’s attention back.

“I’m going now,” the demon said. “Please… sing me the song.”

You kissed the demon’s forehead one last time, whispering in its ear that you loved every moment you got to be with it and will never forget it. You hummed the song, caressing the demon’s face, your voice starting to tremble as you felt the shadows around you recede back and back until nothing was left. You didn’t stop- not when Seonghwa and Wooyoung hugged each other and cried. Not when the demon’s body went limp in your lap. The tears fell and you continued singing until the sobs took over when nothing was left and you felt the body in your lap move again.

Mingi was back.

Mingi let you cry with your face buried in his chest for the longest time until you passed out from exhaustion. He tucked you in his bed and he finally sat down, feeling the most empty even though his heart felt full for once. It was as if a part of him was gone now. He stared at his palm, so very human. He felt weak, and he couldn’t make it to the bed- he passed out as well, though Wooyoung came right on time, knowing it would be tough for Mingi to use a body that was fully human without the strength of a demon that had braced it for centuries.

The healer tucked Mingi beside you, shaking his head at the irony- two humans who lost a demon that they loved in their own twisted ways. 

—----------------------

“I thought I said I wanted this in red and black, not blue and black.”

“I distinctly remember you saying how blue was a nice colour-”

“For you!” Wooyoung groaned. “I wanted my scarf in red and black!”

“Well…” you considered for a moment, looking down at the bundle of your knitted scarfs. “My bad?”

Seonghwa, who was watching you two bicker, snorted loudly, making Wooyoung jump up and down in frustration and you promised between breathless laughter that you would make him another scarf. Seonghwa shook his head. “We know you’re obsessed with the colour blue, but I want mine in pink and white. Not blue and white.”

You pursed your lips, muttering, “Noted.” The duo nodded at you before continuing to set the table for dinner. At that moment, Mingi came from outside, having collected fresh oranges from the trees not far from your house. You waved at him and he smiled, placing the basket on the kitchen counter before hopping to you and planting a kiss on your temple.

“That’s mine, right?” Mingi pointed at the blue and black scarf in your lap.

“You like it?”

Mingi nodded and you handed him the scarf, smiling at how his eyes lit up. He went to try it on in front of the mirror near the door and you gathered your wool, getting up. One of the balls of wool rolled down and before you could grab it, it continued to roll down endlessly across the living room and you groaned.

“Seonghwa, can you please make this house stand straighter? Look at that,” you pointed at the ball of wool still unrolling, bumping into whatever was in the way and changing directions. “The elevation is all messed up.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. You made a face before gathering the thread and following it to see where it unrolled off to, sitting under the stairs now. You picked it up and started rolling it, looking up and halting entirely- 

On the table where you collected your candles, one of them was burning with a black flame- you wondered if you were imagining it but you took a closer look, in awe at how dark the flame was- you had never seen a flame that was shades of black. You picked the candle up, running your finger over the flame but it didn’t burn. You wondered if this was one of Wooyoung’s strange objects he used for healing-

You frowned, putting your finger right over the flame and feeling the familiarity of the flame, no, the shadow. 

It couldn’t be.

“Uh, Seonghwa!” You almost screamed, making everyone look at you. “Is this your flame?”

Before Seonghwa could even make his way to you, you were rushing to him, surprised when the air didn’t make the flame budge, not one bit. You stopped when you reached them, blowing at the flame and everyone collectively gasped when it didn’t blow out. 

“Wait, is this you?” Wooyoung looked at Seonghwa who shook his head furiously.

“My flame is white- you’ve seen it.”

“That’s not me. Mingi?”

“Isn’t this-” Mingi narrowed his eyes. “Douse it with water.”

“No,” you hid the candle away from him but Wooyoung was quick to grab the glass of water and spill it on the candle, making you shout and almost cry but you recovered when you saw the flame was still burning in its full glory. You settled the candle on the table and everyone stared at it.

“Should I say it?” Seonghwa looked at everyone. “It’s a shadow flame. It has to be Tirich.”

Your heart sank. “How?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa smiled in disbelief, looking at Mingi. “You tell.”

Mingi poked his tongue in his cheek, a clear indication that he knew something. You waited for him to spill but he groaned, overwhelmed by everyone’s questioning gaze. “Look, it’s something Tirich said long ago as a joke- I didn’t know the demon could actually do it.”

“So it’s Tirich?”

“I’m not sure,” Mingi touched the flame. “Feels like it but I don’t feel its presence, you know?” Seonghwa nodded in agreement. “Maybe the demon gathered all its remaining energy to be this undying-” Mingi pressed his fingers on the wick of the candle, the flame disappearing but reappearing right when he pulled his fingers back, “-stubborn flame.”

Wooyoung cackled, clapping his hands in amusement. “It’s something Tirich would do. Just can’t leave us alone, can it?”

You laughed, nodding, happy tears leaving your eyes as you watched the flame burn endlessly, the candle wax not even melting. Mingi patted your back and the two of you shared a grin, a sense of relief settling over you.

The candle was placed on the fireplace mantel by you. You insisted that this was Tirich’s favourite spot though Wooyoung argued that it was the roof but you refused to give in. This was where you had first talked to Tirich and this was where you met every night. Once in a while, someone would try to see if the flame would budge- mostly Wooyoung again. He would try water, salt, everything in his book but the flame seemed to be immortal. Sometimes, when you watched it as you thought of Erebos, you could swear it flickered in response. You could swear it burned brighter whenever Mingi and you watched it together with the fondest memories of the demon in your hearts. 

It didn’t hurt anymore, not like it did earlier. It was like the demon was still with you, in the form of that flame, watching over you. Whenever you felt like crying, you recalled how Tirich said it wanted to see you smile, always. So you never cried, at least not at your favourite spot where the candle stood. You only cried in Mingi’s arms who was always there for you, so loving and caring, so warm. He understood that you missed the demon- he, too, did. He had to cope not only emotionally but physically as well, so you focused your energy on trying to make it easier for him as well.

You learned how to etch on metal and with the help of Seonghwa, you created a candle stand for ‘Tirich’s candle’, as you all called it. It was a beautiful shade of silver and you etched a phrase on it that you would always remember. When you showed it off to everyone, they loved your idea and agreed the candle looked better with the new stand. You took to decorating the mantle next, everyone leaving a little something that they had associated with Tirich on it- a small bottle that Wooyoung used for storing their potion, a piece of mirror Seonghwa had brought from the demon realm where sometimes he could see his home, and the blue ribbon Mingi had tied the scroll with- the scroll which had turned to ashes the moment the curse broke.

You stared at the finished product now that the mantle was full of things surrounding the candle, your heart full as you read the etching on the candle stand.

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive.

yours to wreck.

pairing. rabbit hybrid!sunghoon x human!reader

wc. 37k warning. contains mature themes, including explicit sexual content, plot-driven elements possessive behavior, and detailed dirty talk. sunghoon's possessive nature is a central theme, particularly during intense, intimate moments. fluff, strong language. mdni.

you never imagined that taking in a lost rabbit hybrid would turn your life upside down. can you handle the intensity of sunghoon’s feelings, or are you about to face more than you bargained for?

⚠ disclaimer: this story is a work of fiction and does not represent real-life events or the members of enhypen..

in the world you lived in, hybrids were an essential part of society. they had existed alongside humans for centuries, creatures born with the traits and abilities of animals but gifted with the unique ability to shift between their animal forms and fully human forms. the origins of hybrids had been shrouded in mystery, but over time, they had become an accepted and integral part of daily life.

hybrids possessed characteristics that mirrored the animals they resembled—rabbits, wolves, cats, dogs, and even more exotic creatures. their personalities and instincts were deeply tied to their animal traits, and these influences shaped their behaviors, relationships, and even their roles in society. while humans and hybrids coexisted, there were some distinct differences that set hybrids apart.

for one, hybrids had a natural instinct to nurture and care for those around them, especially when it came to forming close bonds with humans. their animal traits often pushed them to act protectively, especially in relationships where they felt a deep connection. these instincts varied depending on the type of hybrid—rabbit hybrids, were known for their shyness and gentle nature, while wolf hybrids were more assertive, their protective tendencies bordering on aggressive at times.

despite these nurturing qualities, hybrids were not without their dangers. some species were more territorial, their animal instincts making them volatile under stress. hybrids in heat, for instance, could be particularly unpredictable, their instincts driving them to seek comfort and companionship in ways that were often difficult for them to control. still, most hybrids managed their instincts well, learning to live harmoniously with humans.

what made hybrids truly unique was their ability to transform. though they appeared as their animal counterparts much of the time, every hybrid had the ability to shift into a fully human form. this transformation was not just a physical change—it allowed them to access a different side of themselves, blending their animal instincts with the complexities of human emotions. in their human form, hybrids often felt more vulnerable, as their instincts weren’t as sharp, but they could still access their animal traits when needed.

for the most part, humans and hybrids lived together peacefully. humans relied on hybrids for their nurturing roles—whether as companions, caretakers, or even partners. hybrids often lived with humans, forming close bonds that went beyond mere companionship, as their need for connection and loyalty ran deep. it wasn’t uncommon for humans to adopt hybrids, bringing them into their homes as members of the family.

you hadn’t planned on adopting a hybrid at all. in fact, the thought had never crossed your mind. your life was busy, overrun by long workdays, endless stress, and a boss who seemed determined to wring every ounce of energy out of you. the burnout was real—your days blended together in a haze of meetings, deadlines, and emails that seemed to multiply by the second. you were exhausted, both mentally and physically, running on fumes.

and on top of that, your personal life was... well, nonexistent. no sex, no love life, no fun. nothing. your friends joked about it, but the reality stung. your life had become a monotonous cycle of work and sleep, with no excitement, no spark to look forward to. it wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to date, but nothing ever stuck. everyone seemed to be living their lives, while you felt like you were barely keeping your head above water.

your best friend, jay, had noticed. he’d always been the perceptive type, and over the past few months, he’d watched as you slowly became more and more drained. it had started with casual comments, him nudging you to take a break, to let loose for once in your life. but recently, his concern had grown.

jay had been different ever since he adopted his cat hybrid, jungwon. he never used to be the nurturing type, but something about bringing jungwon into his life had changed him. he always talked about how having jungwon made his days brighter, easier, more fulfilling. jungwon was calm, affectionate, and somehow always knew exactly when jay needed someone to take care of him, even if he didn’t ask for it. it was like having jungwon around made life make sense for him.

jay had brought it up to you a few times—how adopting a hybrid could change your life too. but you’d always brushed him off, disagreeing with him, laughing it away. you didn’t need a hybrid. what you needed was a vacation, some time off, maybe a little bit of fun. besides, your apartment barely had enough room for you, let alone another living being.

“you’re missing out, you know,” jay had said one night as you sat in his living room, watching jungwon lazily curl up on the couch beside him. “having jungwon around... it’s like everything’s easier. i don’t know how to explain it. i just feel... better.”

you’d rolled your eyes, giving him a teasing grin. “sounds like you’re in love with your hybrid, jay.”

he’d laughed, shaking his head. “nah, not like that. but... he makes everything feel less heavy. you should think about it. maybe a hybrid would help you unwind a little.”

you’d waved him off, clearly disagreeing. you didn’t need a hybrid. what you needed was a break from life, not something else to take care of. besides, hybrids weren’t exactly cheap, and your current schedule didn’t exactly scream “nurturing.”

but the universe, it seemed, had other plans for you.

it started on a rainy afternoon after a particularly hellish day at work, thanks to your boss niki. your muscles ached from niki’s relentless demands. you love him, but damn, sometimes it feels like he’s squeezing every bit of energy out of you. you were walking home, head down, mind already buzzing with tomorrow’s to-do list, when something caught your eye. a small, battered cardboard box lying on the side of the sidewalk, soaked from the rain. it wasn’t unusual to see abandoned things in the city, but this box was different. something inside it moved.

you hesitated, glancing around. the streets were nearly empty, the rain coming down in heavy sheets. for a moment, you debated just walking away—after all, what could you really do?

but something tugged at you, pulling you toward the box.

and that’s when you saw him—a small, trembling rabbit, soaked to the bone and huddled in the corner of the box. his wide, terrified eyes looked up at you, his white fur matted and dirty. your heart clenched at the sight. he presses himself into the corner of the box, like he’s trying to disappear, to escape the cold, the rain—everything. “oh god, you poor thing,” you whisper, crouching down. “who the hell would leave you out here?” you stretch out your hand, slow and careful, not wanting to spook him.

“hey, hey... it’s alright,” you murmur, voice soft like you’re talking to a scared kid. “i’m not gonna hurt you. let's get you out of this mess, okay?”

his ears twitch, nervous, and his body tightens like he's ready to bolt. but you stay still, letting him take you in, letting him feel your intent. after a few heartbeats, he inches toward you, cautiously, testing the waters.

you hadn’t planned to adopt any pets. you didn’t even have time for one. but as you crouched down, looking into those big, sad eyes, you knew there was no way you could leave him there.

you couldn’t just walk away.

“hey, little guy,” you whispered, reaching out a hand cautiously. “it’s okay. i’m not going to hurt you… that’s it,” you say, barely above a whisper. “i’m gonna pick you up now, alright?”

the rabbit hybrid flinched at first, but after a moment, he inched closer, his eyes filled with fear but also with hope. it broke your heart, and before you even realized what you were doing, you scooped him up in your arms, holding him close to your chest to shield him from the rain.

when you first saw the small rabbit in the soaked, battered cardboard box that day, you had no idea what you were picking up wasn’t just a regular animal. you thought it was just that—a frightened, abandoned rabbit, left out in the rain by someone who didn’t care. you felt an overwhelming rush of sympathy for the poor creature, but the idea that it might be a hybrid hadn’t even crossed your mind.

you didn’t think twice about taking it home. you couldn’t just leave it there, exposed to the elements. but even as you walked through the rain, hurrying back to your apartment, you had no idea that the tiny, trembling creature in your arms was anything more than a rabbit.

you practically jog the rest of the way home, ignoring the way your legs ache. once inside, you place him gently on a towel, wrapping him snugly, rubbing his fur with soft, circular motions to warm him up.

“there we go,” you murmur, more to yourself than him. “all dry now.”

you nuzzle your nose against his fur, feeling the softness of it, damp but starting to fluff up. he stays stiff, probably still in shock, but at least he’s stopped shivering. “feeling better?”

as you check him over, your hand brushes against his hind legs, and you pause, lifting him a little to check. he squirms, a tiny sound of protest escaping him, making you chuckle. it’s almost like he’s embarrassed, how adorable.

“i had a feeling you were a boy,” you grin, wrapping him in another towel. “don’t be shy.”

he looks up at you with a mix of confusion and something else—maybe trust, maybe just curiosity—but he doesn’t pull away. you settle him near a heater, placing a cushion beside him. he sniffs at it, eyes flicking back to you like he’s still deciding whether you’re a threat or a savior.

“come on now, there you go,” you say, smiling gently. “that’s better, right? we’ll get you something nicer soon. promise.”

you watch him for a moment, trying to think of a name. something simple, something that feels right.

“i’m y/n, by the way,” you say, leaning back on your heels. “and you... you need a name.”

he twitches his nose, still sniffing the cushion, still figuring things out. you watch him with a smile, the rain still beating against the windows. it’s calming in a way, the sound of it now distant as you focus on the tiny creature in front of you.

“sunghoon,” you say, testing it out. “how about that?”

he pauses, his ears twitching at the sound of his new name. it feels like he’s acknowledging it, maybe not fully understanding, but enough. you take it as a win, not like he actually has a choice or can protest anyway.

“sunghoon it is,” you whisper, grinning. “welcome home, little guy.”

in the days that follow, you throw yourself into making him comfortable. each morning, you leave out fresh veggies, fluff up his little corner, making sure everything’s perfect. you even set up a heater just for him, making sure it’s warm enough, but not too hot. you want him to feel safe, to know this place is his. yet, despite your best efforts, sunghoon keeps his distance. his eyes, always watching, seem to linger on you from across the room, wary but... curious.

it’s frustrating, in a way. you want him to trust you, to understand that you’re not going to hurt him—that he’s safe now. but you can’t rush these things. trust takes time, and sunghoon, with his wide, fearful eyes and skittish movements, is a clear sign that patience will be necessary. every time something startles him, he flinches so hard, like he’s expecting the worst. it’s a reflex that he can’t seem to control, and it makes your heart ache every time you see it. you can’t help but think about his past, even though the thought lingers in the back of your mind. it’s not your place—not yet. whatever he’s been through, it’s clear that it left its mark on him. the way he shrinks back when he hears a loud noise or the way his shoulders tense when you move too suddenly… it’s painful to watch. painful to think about what he must have gone through to be so jumpy, so scared of the world around him.

you didn’t even want to imagine it. the very idea of someone mistreating him, of making him feel this small, made your chest tighten with anger and sadness. he was so gentle, so soft, and seeing him like this—so vulnerable—made you want to do everything in your power to make him feel safe again.

one night, while you’re curled up on the couch with a book, the quiet comfort of the evening wrapping around you like a blanket, you spot movement out of the corner of your eye. it’s subtle at first—a small shift of weight, the faintest rustle of fabric—but then you see him. sunghoon, the little rabbit who had taken up residence in your heart without you even realizing, is creeping closer to the cushion you set up for him.

he’s cautious, as always, his nose twitching as he sniffs the cushion again, nudging it with his soft nose. he pauses, glancing at you like he’s checking to see if it’s safe, before finally, with an almost comical level of hesitation, flopping down next to it. his long ears droop slightly as he settles in, and for a moment, he looks so comfortable, so at ease, that you can’t help but smile.

“that’s right,” you murmur, looking up from your book with a soft grin. “make yourself at home.”

sunghoon blinks at you, his wide eyes softer now, less guarded than usual. it’s not much, but to you, it feels monumental. after weeks of him being jumpy, flinching at the smallest noise, seeing him relax even a little feels like a victory.

he shifts a bit, his little body curling up more comfortably against the cushion, and you can’t help but let out a quiet laugh. “you like it, huh?” you tease gently, your heart warming at the sight.

he looks at you for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not to respond, and then—much to your surprise—he gives a soft little grunt, almost like a huff. it’s so unexpected, so out of character for him, that you blink in surprise before bursting into laughter.

“did... did you just sass me?” you say, raising an eyebrow as you try to stifle your giggles. “i didn’t know rabbits could be so cheeky.”

sunghoon’s ears twitch, and for a moment, he almost looks embarrassed, like he hadn’t meant to let that little noise slip. but then, to your absolute delight, he nudges the cushion again with his nose and flops even harder onto it, as if to say, yeah, and i’m gonna make this cushion mine.

“alright, alright,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “you win. the cushion is yours, sunghoon.”

he blinks at you again, but this time, there’s a twinkle in his eyes—a tiny spark of mischief that you hadn’t seen before. it’s the kind of look that makes you wonder if maybe he’s been hiding a playful side from you all this time.

as the evening wears on, you keep glancing over at him, watching as he nestles deeper into the cushion, his little nose twitching in contentment. the warmth in your chest grows as you realize how far he’s come—how, little by little, he’s starting to trust you.

“you know,” you say softly, not even sure if he’s listening, “you’re doing really well. i’m proud of you.”

to your surprise, he shifts again, and this time, he looks right at you—no hesitation, no fear. he blinks, his soft eyes meeting yours, and for the first time since you brought him home, you feel like you’re seeing the real sunghoon. not just the scared, timid rabbit who flinches at every sound, but the sweet, gentle soul who’s finally starting to let his guard down.

“this place is gonna feel like home soon,” you murmur, smiling at him. “i can feel it.”

and just as you’re about to turn back to your book, sunghoon does something that nearly makes you drop it altogether. with a soft grunt and a determined little wiggle, he hops up onto the couch and curls up right next to you, pressing his small body against your leg.

your heart practically melts. “well, hello there,” you say, unable to keep the grin off your face. “getting bold, aren’t we?”

he blinks up at you, and you could swear there’s a hint of pride in his eyes—like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“alright, you win,” you laugh, setting your book aside and reaching down to gently stroke his soft ears. “i guess we’re couch buddies now.”

sunghoon’s eyes flutter shut, and as he nestles closer to you, you can’t help but feel a swell of warmth in your chest. he’s starting to trust you, little by little. soon enough, maybe this place will feel like home for him, and maybe you won’t just be the stranger who saved him—you’ll be something more.

and for the first time in a long while, you feel like maybe you’ve found a little piece of home too.

the rain pattered gently against the window, its steady rhythm almost hypnotic as it blurred the world outside. soft morning light filtered through the blinds, casting a dull glow over your cluttered apartment. the scene was too familiar—stacks of paperwork, your phone buzzing with reminders you were already too exhausted to acknowledge, and the coffee in your hand had long gone cold. your eyes skimmed over the endless tasks on your phone screen, the weight of it all pressing down on your shoulders.

“damn niki,” you muttered under your breath, swiping through the list of to-dos that seemed to multiply with every blink. the fatigue was bone-deep, but somehow, you pushed through. maybe it was the thought of coming home to sunghoon that kept you going. even though he was just a rabbit, and you knew he wasn’t exactly going to hop up and greet you at the door, the quiet comfort he offered was always there, soft and constant.

but today, the apartment felt too quiet. an unusual stillness filled the air as you got ready for work, the absence of the usual soft rustling from sunghoon’s corner making you pause. something didn’t feel right. your eyes flicked toward his space, where you would normally hear the gentle sound of his tiny paws or the soft shuffle of his fur as he curled into his blanket. but today? nothing.

“sunghoon?” you called out, the unease creeping into your voice as you stepped closer. silence. no scurrying across the floor, no comforting rustle of movement. the uneasy feeling gnawed at you, your heart starting to pound just a little faster. on rainy days like this, sunghoon was always by your side. always.

“sunghoon?” you called again, louder this time, moving toward his corner. you expected to see his small, familiar form curled up in his blanket, but when you turned the corner, there was something else. someone else.

your heart skipped a beat, and you froze. there, under the pile of blankets, was a figure—too large to be sunghoon. much too large. panic surged through you as you grabbed the nearest object—a ballpoint pen, because, really, what else could you grab?—and held it out in front of you like some kind of makeshift weapon.

“who the hell are you?” your voice cracked slightly as the figure stirred, the blankets shifting. your pulse thundered in your ears as you took a cautious step forward. for a split second, you considered calling the police, but then the figure finally emerged from the blankets, and all rational thought screeched to a halt.

standing before you, partially hidden by the curtains, was a tall, very naked man. his messy hair stuck up in every direction, soft, slightly curled bunny ears poking out from beneath the strands. your mind struggled to process the scene. where was sunghoon? and who the hell was this?

“what the fuck?!”

you couldn’t help the expletive that escaped your lips as you instinctively took a step back, the ballpoint pen now wobbling in your shaky grip. the man—whoever he was—seemed just as startled as you, his eyes wide in surprise. scrambling for the nearest blanket, he awkwardly wrapped it around his waist, one hand gripping the fabric while the other was held up in defense.

“wait, wait, y/n, it’s me!”

you blinked, your brain still lagging behind what your eyes were seeing. “you?! who the hell is ‘me’? i don’t know any naked men in my apartment!” the ballpoint pen was still raised, though it was clear it was doing absolutely nothing to help you in this situation.

but as your eyes slowly adjusted to the situation unfolding before you, your brain short-circuited for an entirely different reason. the man standing in front of you was not just any man.

no, he was breathtaking, like something out of a dream.

he was pale, his skin smooth and almost glowing under the soft light filtering through the window. his body, though partially hidden by the blanket he hastily wrapped around himself, was toned in a way that made your mouth go dry. not overly muscular, but lean and defined, every line of his body sculpted to perfection. the kind of physique you’d expect on a prince from a fairytale or one of those magazine models that never actually look real.

his face, though—god, his face. it was almost too pretty to believe. soft, delicate features that contrasted with the sharp line of his jaw. the slope of his nose was perfect, the kind of perfect that made you wonder if it had been carefully crafted by some divine being. his lips were full, slightly parted as he breathed, and those eyes—doe-like and wide, but with a depth to them that you hadn’t noticed before when he was just a rabbit. they were mesmerizing, and for a split second, you thought you might be hallucinating.

is this the fatigue? you wondered. or the dry spell? it had been ages since you’d had any excitement in your life. maybe you were so starved for affection that your mind had conjured up the perfect man—pale, gorgeous, and standing naked in your living room. that had to be it, right? because no one looked this perfect in real life. no one had features that sharp, lips that soft-looking, and muscles that looked like they belonged in some sort of ancient marble statue.

sunghoon blinked at you, clearly waiting for you to say something, and you just stared. there’s no way this is real, you thought. maybe i fell asleep, and this is some weird, stress-induced dream.

he shifted awkwardly, adjusting the blanket around his waist, clearly trying to cover up more of himself now that he realized you were ogling him. “y/n,” he said again, his voice softer, almost pleading. “it’s me. sunghoon.”

your eyes snapped back to his, finally processing his words. “sunghoon? as in… my rabbit sunghoon?” you repeated, still feeling like the words didn’t make sense.

he nodded, his ears twitching slightly as he winced, clearly embarrassed. “yeah... i’m a hybrid.”

for a moment, you stood there, speechless, your eyes still taking in every inch of him—his pale skin, those perfect lips, the muscles visible even under the blanket. your brain struggled to catch up, still in shock at how someone so unbelievably gorgeous could have been hiding in plain sight as your quiet, timid rabbit hybrid.

“you’re... you’re really sunghoon?” you asked, half in disbelief. your mind was still half-convinced you were hallucinating.

he nodded again, looking genuinely apologetic. “i didn’t know how to tell you. i was worried you might... freak out.”

you let out a breathy laugh, your hands finally lowering the pen you’d been clutching like a lifeline. “oh, i’m definitely freaking out,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair. “i thought you were a regular rabbit! and now you’re... this?”

sunghoon’s ears drooped, and he glanced down, clearly feeling bad. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to surprise you.”

you blinked again, still trying to reconcile the sunghoon you’d known—the quiet, skittish rabbit—with the literal prince standing in front of you. “okay, let’s just... back up a second.” you took a deep breath, feeling a bit more in control. “so, you’ve been a hybrid this whole time, and you just... didn’t tell me?”

sunghoon bit his lip, looking sheepish. “i didn’t know how. i didn’t want to scare you.”

you let out another laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “well, i’m definitely surprised. i mean, not every day your rabbit turns into a man who looks like he walked straight out of a k-drama.”

his cheeks turned pink at your comment, and he shifted again, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “sorry about the... lack of clothes,” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

“yeah, about that,” you said, finally pulling yourself together enough to speak somewhat coherently. “rule number one, if you’re gonna be walking around in your human form: pants. always wear pants.”

sunghoon let out a soft laugh, the sound shy but genuine. “yeah... definitely,” he agreed, his ears twitching as he looked at you, still clearly mortified.

you couldn’t help but smile, the absurdity of the situation starting to sink in. “alright,” you said, setting the pen down on the table and shaking your head. “let’s start over. i’m y/n, your very flustered and incredibly confused human, and you are...?”

sunghoon blinked at you, a small, shy smile tugging at his lips. “sunghoon. your very flustered hybrid.”

you grinned, feeling the tension in the air finally lift. “perfect. now let’s find you some pants before i start thinking this is all some weird dream brought on by work stress and my lack of a love life.”

sunghoon’s face flushed even deeper, and he let out a nervous chuckle. “yeah, pants sound good.”

as you headed toward your bedroom to find him something to wear, you couldn’t stop the small smile playing at your lips. sure, the situation was completely bizarre, but a part of you was already feeling oddly grateful that the universe had thrown this ridiculously beautiful hybrid into your life.

fatigue or not, you thought, glancing back at sunghoon, who was now standing awkwardly with the blanket around his waist. this might be the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in years.

sunghoon sat across from you at the dining table, his head ducked, and the flush on his face deepening. wearing a pair of hastily borrowed sweatpants, he fidgeted with the waistband, clearly uncomfortable. you couldn’t help but notice how he’d opted out of wearing a shirt, mentioning something about not wanting to feel too restricted since it had been so long since he stayed in his human form. and honestly, you were trying really hard not to ogle, but, god, he was unfairly gorgeous. toned muscles, pale skin, that slightly nervous expression—it was doing things to you.

you almost wanted to slap yourself for staring, but you couldn’t help it. he looked like a prince and a pretty boy all wrapped up in one. it was breathtaking and infuriating all at once.

sunghoon, clearly aware of the awkward silence, ducked his head even lower, his embarrassment growing. “i’m really sorry, y/n. i didn’t know how to tell you. i was scared you’d kick me out.”

his voice was soft, laced with guilt, and the way his wide, almost puppy-like eyes met yours made your heart skip. it was hard to stay mad at him, especially when he looked like that—nervous, sweet, and so incredibly earnest.

you sighed, rubbing a hand through your hair as you tried to get a grip on your racing thoughts. “i’m not kicking you out,” you said, your voice a little softer now. “but seriously, you could’ve... i don’t know, maybe put some pants on before revealing you’re not actually a helpless rabbit.”

his face flushed a deeper shade of pink, and he tugged the blanket tighter around himself, looking like he wished he could disappear into the floor. “yeah... um, i didn’t really think that part through,” he admitted, his voice small.

the sheer absurdity of the situation hit you all at once, and before you could stop yourself, a laugh slipped out. it was soft at first, but soon, you were giggling, wiping at your eyes as the awkwardness of the moment morphed into something lighter, more bearable.

sunghoon looked up, confused, but a hint of relief flickered in his eyes at your reaction. his ears twitched, the motion so subtle you might’ve missed it if you weren’t still marveling at how freaking cute he was.

“oh my god,” you laughed, trying to catch your breath. “i’ve been babying you this whole time, thinking you were some helpless rabbit, and turns out, you’re a grown-ass man who can shapeshift. i’m embarrassed for myself.”

sunghoon’s lips quirked into a shy smile, the corners of his mouth tugging upward as he fidgeted in his seat. “i... i didn’t mind the babying,” he mumbled, his ears dipping slightly in that way that made your heart do a weird little flutter.

you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. why does he have to be so damn adorable? and why does he have to be shirtless? it wasn’t fair—none of it. you crossed your arms, trying to focus and regain some semblance of composure. “okay, so you’re a hybrid,” you said, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. “and you can just... switch between being a rabbit and a human whenever you want?”

he nodded, his ears drooping a bit more as guilt flickered in his eyes. “yeah. it doesn’t hurt or anything. it’s just... who i am.”

you exhaled, still trying to keep up with everything. your mind was reeling from the realization, but it was hard to be mad when he looked so genuinely remorseful. “and you just... never thought to mention this before?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

sunghoon shifted uncomfortably, his eyes dropping to the floor again. “i didn’t want to scare you,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “after everything with my old owner... i didn’t know if you’d still want me around if you knew the truth.”

his words made your heart clench, and you had to stop yourself from immediately asking what exactly had happened with his old owner. the way he’d said it—so soft, so filled with fear—made you wonder if his previous home had been the kind of place that left scars. but you bit your tongue. now wasn’t the time. he’s already opening up, don’t push him.

instead, you reached out, gently touching his arm. his skin was warm beneath your fingers—almost too warm—and a sudden rush of heat flooded through you, making your heart skip. you quickly pulled your hand back, feeling your face grow hot. what the hell was that? you shook off the thought, focusing on the conversation instead.

“sunghoon, i’m not going to kick you out,” you said, soft but firm. “you could’ve told me. i care about you—whether you’re a rabbit or... or this.” you gestured to his human form, trying to keep your voice steady.

his eyes widened at your words, and for a moment, he just stared at you like he hadn’t expected that response. “really? you’re not mad?”

you shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the whirlwind of emotions still swirling in your chest. “i mean, i’m a little flustered, but no. i’m not mad.”

the relief that washed over his face was almost immediate. his ears perked up slightly, and his expression brightened, the weight of worry lifting from his features. “thank you, y/n,” he said softly, his voice filled with gratitude. “i was so worried...”

you looked at him, your heart doing that annoying little skip again as you noticed how sweet he looked, sitting there, all shy and relieved. and yeah, okay—still shirtless, which was not helping your composure in the slightest. it was really fucking unfair, how precious he was, and also how distracting it was to have him sitting across from you like this.

“you really should put on a shirt at some point,” you muttered, mostly to distract yourself from how flustered you were feeling.

sunghoon blinked, glancing down at his bare chest before quickly looking back up, cheeks flushing even darker. “oh, right. sorry. i, um... didn’t want to feel restricted since it’s been a while since i’ve stayed in this form,” he explained, his voice trailing off in embarrassment.

you laughed softly, shaking your head. “it’s fine. just... it’s kind of hard to focus with you looking like that.”

sunghoon’s eyes widened, and for a second, you swore he turned even redder than before. he opened his mouth, probably to apologize again, but you quickly waved him off.

“don’t worry about it,” you said, smiling despite yourself. “i’ll get used to it. eventually.”

his lips twitched into a small, shy smile, and for the first time since this whole ridiculous situation started, you both seemed to relax a little. sure, the dynamic between you had shifted, but somehow, in the middle of all the awkwardness, you could see the beginnings of something stronger—something that went beyond just hybrid and owner. something that made your heart race for reasons you weren’t entirely ready to confront yet.

and, well, it didn’t hurt that sunghoon looked like he had been sculpted by the gods themselves.

you leaned back in your chair, the tension between you and sunghoon easing into something lighter, almost comfortable now. the weirdness of the morning still lingered, but you couldn’t deny that curiosity had started bubbling up inside you. there was so much you didn’t know about him, and now that the initial shock had worn off, you found yourself wanting to know more.

“so,” you began, your voice a little more playful now, “i think it’s time you tell me more about yourself, sunghoon.” you leaned forward, resting your chin on your hand, watching him with a raised eyebrow. “how old are you, anyway? because this whole time, i’ve been treating you like a baby.”

sunghoon blinked, clearly surprised by the question, but he quickly smiled—shy, but warm. “i’m twenty-three,” he said, his voice a little hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure how you’d react.

your eyes widened, and a soft laugh escaped your lips. “twenty-three? and here i’ve been babying you like you were a little bunny!”

he chuckled, his ears twitching slightly in amusement. “yeah, well... i swear i really didn’t mind,” he said, his voice soft but playful, his confidence slowly growing now that the initial awkwardness was fading.

you shook your head, still smiling. “wow, so you’re basically my age. i feel ridiculous for all those times i was talking to you like you were a helpless pet.”

sunghoon laughed quietly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “it was... comforting, actually. it’s been a while since someone treated me like that.”

your heart softened at his words, but you didn’t want the conversation to turn serious again. so, instead, you kept things light. “okay, mr. twenty-three-year-old,” you said, grinning, “what else should i know? do you have a favorite food? hobbies? secret talents? now that i know you’re not just a rabbit, i feel like there’s a whole sunghoon i need to get to know.”

he blinked, clearly not used to being asked these kinds of questions, but a small smile tugged at his lips. “well... i really like strawberries,” he admitted, glancing down at the table, his ears twitching shyly again. “and, um, i’m pretty good at reading. i used to read a lot... before.”

“strawberries, huh?” you teased, leaning forward slightly. “i guess that’s not too surprising for a rabbit hybrid.” you stuck your tongue out playfully, enjoying the way he flushed at the light teasing. “and reading? okay, now we’re getting somewhere. any favorite books?”

sunghoon looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, “i liked... adventure stories. anything with heroes and big journeys. it’s a bit silly, i know, but it helped me escape.”

you softened at that, but before you could get too wrapped up in the sentiment, you grinned and leaned closer. “not silly at all. adventure stories are great. plus, who doesn’t love a good hero moment?”

he smiled again, this time a little more openly, clearly appreciating that you weren’t pushing him too hard. “i guess you’re right,” he said quietly.

you both sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the tension of earlier now replaced by something softer, more playful. there was still so much to learn about him, but for now, you were content to keep things light and easy.

“so,” you said with a grin, unable to resist poking fun, “now that i know you’re twenty-three and have a thing for strawberries and books... are you going to tell me any other secrets? like, i don’t know, if you can do any magic tricks or something?”

sunghoon’s laughter was soft but genuine, his ears twitching in amusement. “sorry to disappoint, but no magic tricks.”

you pretended to pout. “damn. i was hoping for some shapeshifting party tricks or something.”

he laughed again, shaking his head. “maybe one day.”

“i’ll hold you to that,” you said, pointing at him playfully. “next time, i expect at least one cool trick. maybe pull a rabbit out of a hat?”

sunghoon groaned, his face turning pink again as he shook his head. “that’s a terrible joke.”

you grinned, winking at him. “you love it.”

the light banter between you both was easy now, and as you watched sunghoon relax, you couldn’t help but feel relieved. there was still a lot to figure out, but right now, it felt good to get to know the real sunghoon—the hybrid who loved strawberries and adventure stories and who was more than just the quiet, shy rabbit you had taken in.

“so,” you said after a beat, “what do you want to do now? i’m off work for a while, and clearly, you’re not a pet who needs to be fed pellets anymore.”

sunghoon tilted his head, thinking for a moment before a shy smile spread across his face. “i think... i’d like to stay in my human form for a bit,” he admitted softly. “it feels... nice, being like this with you.”

you smiled warmly, your heart giving another little skip. “i think i’d like that too, sunghoon.”

life with sunghoon had settled into a strange, harmonious rhythm. it was easy, natural, like the two of you had been living together for years instead of just months. in many ways, it felt like you were a couple—at least, you thought so. but maybe that was just you. sunghoon was always his usual sweet, shy self, but there were times when he did things that made your heart flutter just a little more than you’d care to admit.

he’d started helping around the house more, little things like washing the dishes, folding the laundry, and making sure everything was in its place. and on some days, when he wanted to be babied or just feel close to you, he’d shift back into his animal form, curling up on your lap as a small, soft bunny, waiting for you to run your fingers through his fur. it was something you’d grown to love, even though at first it had felt so strange. now, you couldn’t imagine coming home and not finding sunghoon waiting for you in some form, ready to melt into your life.

but today was different.

you’d just come home from work, dropping your bag by the door and sighing as you kicked off your shoes. sunghoon was in the kitchen, drying some plates, his usual routine. everything seemed normal—until it wasn’t. you noticed him pause, his nose twitching slightly, his ears perking up in that subtle way that told you something was off.

“y/n?” his voice called out, soft and sweet as always, but there was something else there—an edge of curiosity, maybe even uncertainty.

you blinked, glancing over at him. “yeah?”

sunghoon set the plate down carefully, turning toward you, his eyes scanning you for a moment longer than usual. his lips pressed into a thin line, and he tilted his head slightly, as if trying to figure something out. “you... smell different,” he said, his voice soft but with an undertone that made you pause.

you furrowed your brows, stepping closer. “different? what do you mean?”

he hesitated for a second, then finally said it. “it smells like... jay.” his eyes flickered toward your jacket, where the faintest hint of jay’s cologne lingered from the hug you’d given him earlier that day. it wasn’t strong, but for sunghoon, it was enough.

you blinked, processing his words. “oh,” you said, a little surprised. “yeah, i ran into jay earlier. we had coffee after work. why?”

sunghoon didn’t answer right away, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the dish towel. his usually calm demeanor had shifted slightly, something in his posture tense, almost... territorial. his eyes darted around the apartment, lingering on a few of jay’s things—his jacket that he’d left behind during a visit, a book he’d loaned you weeks ago. the scent of jay had been around for a while, but today, sunghoon seemed to notice it more than usual.

he swallowed hard, glancing back at you. “does... jay come here a lot?” his voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it that you couldn’t quite place.

you raised an eyebrow, feeling a small flicker of confusion. “sometimes? he’s one of my best friends, you know that.” you studied him, noticing the way his eyes flickered with something deeper—something you hadn’t seen before. “why? is something wrong?”

sunghoon shook his head, but the uncertainty was still there. “no, it’s just...” he trailed off, his eyes dropping to the floor. “i guess i’m just curious.”

the way he said it made your chest tighten slightly. curious? no, this felt like more than curiosity. this was something deeper. you could see it in his eyes, the way his gaze lingered on you, like he was trying to figure out how to say what he was really feeling.

“sunghoon,” you said softly, stepping closer until you were standing in front of him. “what’s going on?”

he hesitated again, his fingers gripping the dish towel a little tighter. finally, after what felt like forever, he looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite decipher. “i don’t want you to think i’m... being weird or anything,” he started, his voice low and uncertain, “but i guess... i’ve just been feeling kind of... possessive lately.”

you blinked, your heart skipping a beat at his confession. “possessive? about what?”

sunghoon bit his lip, his gaze dropping to the floor again. “about you.”

the words hung in the air between you, heavy and filled with meaning. your breath caught in your throat as you processed what he was saying, your mind racing. possessive? about you? sure, sunghoon had always been close to you, always affectionate and sweet, but this... this was something different.

“i know it’s stupid,” he mumbled, his ears drooping slightly in embarrassment. “you have your own life, and i’m just... well, i’m just here. but you’re the only human who’s ever treated me like an equal. you gave me a home, and you’ve been so kind, and... i guess i just got scared. scared that maybe... you’d find someone else and forget about me.”

his voice was barely a whisper now, and your heart ached at the vulnerability in his words. without thinking, you reached out, gently placing your hand on his arm. “sunghoon,” you said softly, your voice steady, “you don’t have to be scared. you’re important to me, okay? no one’s going to replace you.”

he glanced up at you, his eyes wide and filled with relief, but also something deeper—something that had been building for a while now. “really?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

you nodded, your hand still resting on his arm. “really. i care about you, sunghoon.”

for a moment, neither of you said anything. the air between you felt charged, like something unspoken was hovering just beneath the surface, waiting to be said. sunghoon’s eyes lingered on yours, his usually shy demeanor softening into something more vulnerable, more open.

“i just... i don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his voice filled with a quiet desperation that made your heart squeeze.

you smiled softly, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. “you won’t lose me, sunghoon.” "but speaking of," you add, trying to keep your tone casual, "jay actually has a hybrid too. a cat hybrid named jungwon. i wanted to introduce you two, but... i thought it’d be better to let you settle in first."

sunghoon’s ears perked up immediately at the mention of jungwon, his eyes widening with curiosity. “really? a cat hybrid? do you know any other hybrids, apart from jay’s?”

you hummed, pausing to think. “jay’s mentioned that he’s thinking about adopting more, but nothing’s final yet. he’s been talking about getting someone to keep jungwon company. i could give him a call if you’re interested?”

sunghoon’s posture straightened at the offer, the excitement in his eyes unmistakable even as he sat there, casually wrapped in nothing but the blanket he’d thrown on earlier. his enthusiasm was almost contagious, but what really had you distracted was how effortlessly attractive he looked just sitting there—his dark hair messy, his soft bunny ears twitching slightly as he tried to play it cool.

the combination of his shyness and his sculpted features had your heart racing a little too fast for comfort, and you found yourself fumbling with your phone, trying to focus on dialing jay’s number.

the line rang twice before jay’s voice crackled through the speaker, warm and familiar. “hey, y/n! what’s up?”

“hey, jay,” you said, throwing a quick glance at sunghoon, who was watching you with wide, expectant eyes. “i was just wondering if you had any updates on the hybrids you were thinking of adopting. sunghoon’s interested in meeting some others, maybe making a few friends.”

“oh, that’s great!” jay replied, clearly pleased. “i’ve been looking into a few, but nothing’s set in stone. though, there’s a puppy named jake who’s caught my eye. jungwon seemed intrigued by him when we visited the center. you know how it goes—cat and dog vibes. but jungwon didn’t seem to mind at all.”

you heard soft rustling on jay’s end, followed by a faint meow. jay chuckled. “speaking of jungwon, he’s acting all shy now that we’re talking about jake.”

you laughed softly, imagining jungwon’s reaction. “that sounds promising! sunghoon’s really excited about the idea too. we’ll definitely keep him in the loop.”

“great! let’s set up a time to meet soon,” jay said brightly. “just let me know when you guys are free.”

after hanging up, you turned back to sunghoon, who looked like he could barely contain himself. he was sitting at the edge of his seat, his ears twitching slightly with excitement.

“so?” he asked, his voice soft but brimming with anticipation.

“jay’s on board,” you said with a reassuring smile. “he’s really excited too. we’ll set up a meetup with jake and maybe some other hybrids soon. i think it could be fun for you.”

sunghoon’s cheeks flushed a light pink, and he gave you a shy nod. “i’d like that,” he murmured, glancing out the window as if he was already imagining the possibilities. the way his eyes sparkled with anticipation made you smile, but it also made your heart flutter in a way that caught you off guard. there was something so endearing about how innocent he seemed—like a kid excited for his first playdate. it was almost too cute to handle.

“you’re really looking forward to this, huh?” you teased gently, leaning back in your chair. “you’ll get to meet jake, and maybe jungwon too. i’m sure you guys will get along.”

sunghoon smiled, his expression softening as he shifted a little in his seat. “i hope so,” he admitted quietly. “i’ve never really had... friends like that. other hybrids, i mean.”

your heart clenched at his words, and you felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and comfort him. of course he hadn’t had many friends—he had been abandoned before you found him, and whatever life he’d lived before wasn’t one where he had companionship. it made your chest tighten, and without thinking, you placed a hand on his arm.

“you’re going to love them,” you said, your voice gentle but firm. “and they’re going to love you too, sunghoon. i know it.”

he looked up at you, surprise flickering in his eyes before his smile grew a little wider, his cheeks still tinged with pink. “thanks, y/n,” he murmured, his voice softer than before. “you always know what to say.”

your heart skipped at that, and you quickly pulled your hand back, feeling a rush of warmth flood your face. why does he always do this to me?

“it’s nothing,” you said, trying to brush it off with a wave of your hand. “just... you know, the truth.”

sunghoon’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he glanced back toward the window. the soft light from outside framed his features perfectly, making him look even more angelic than usual, and you couldn’t help but find yourself staring for a second too long.

“you really care about everyone, don’t you?” he asked after a long pause, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear him. “jay, jungwon... even me.”

the way he said it—like he was still surprised by how much you cared—made your chest ache. of course you cared about him. you had from the moment you’d brought him home, and even though things had changed since then, that hadn’t.

“of course i do,” you said softly, your voice warm. “you’re important to me, sunghoon. and i mean that.”

his ears twitched, and you saw him bite his lip, something uncertain flashing across his face before he quickly masked it. he held your gaze, though, more intense than before. it was subtle, but the shift was there, a quiet, smoldering intensity behind those soft eyes.

and then, he asked, “how important?”

the question hit you harder than it should’ve. it wasn’t just curiosity in his voice; it was something deeper, something that made your heart skip a beat. the way he was looking at you now—his eyes locked onto yours, his jaw clenched ever so slightly—was unlike anything you’d seen from him before. this wasn’t the sunghoon you were used to.

your throat went dry. “what do you mean?” you asked, your voice catching just slightly as you tried to read the expression on his face. he wasn’t just asking for a friendly reassurance—there was something more behind his words, something almost... possessive.

he didn’t answer right away. instead, he stepped closer, his eyes dropping to where your hand rested against his arm. you could see his fingers twitch, like he wanted to reach out and touch you but was holding himself back. when he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost a whisper. “you’re the only one who’s ever treated me like this. like i’m more than just... something to take care of.”

your breath hitched, the words sinking in. “sunghoon...” you began, unsure where this was going, unsure if you were ready to face the direction it was heading.

but he didn’t stop. “i’ve never had someone like you before,” he continued, his eyes dark and focused on you. “someone who makes me feel like... i could be more than what i am.” his hand hovered at your waist now, close but not quite touching, like he was waiting for your reaction, waiting to see if you’d pull away.

you felt your pulse quicken, your mind racing to catch up with what he was saying. this wasn’t just a confession of affection—it was something deeper, something that felt almost instinctual. the way he looked at you wasn’t just sweet or shy like you’d seen before. there was a hunger there, a need. and that possessiveness... it was something new, something that left you breathless.

“i don’t want anyone else to have you,” he said, his voice barely audible now, his breath ghosting over your skin as he leaned closer. “i want you to be mine.”

his words sent a shock through you, your breath catching in your throat. this is too much. you felt flustered, overwhelmed by the intensity of it all, and yet... you couldn’t pull away. you wanted to say something, to break the tension, but all you could manage was a shaky, “sunghoon, this is...”

his eyes flicked to yours, and for a split second, you saw the conflict there—the way he was teetering on the edge of something he couldn’t quite control. his hand moved, just the faintest touch against your waist, and you felt your body respond before your mind could catch up.

he blinked, and then, suddenly, he pulled back, his expression shifting. “shit, sorry,” he muttered, his ears flattening slightly as he stepped away. “i didn’t mean to... that was too much.”

you exhaled, your heart still racing. “no, it’s okay, i just... wasn’t expecting that.” your voice was steadier than you felt. inside, your mind was whirling. what the hell was that?

sunghoon rubbed the back of his neck, clearly flustered now, but he tried to play it off, giving you a shy smile. “yeah, uh, sorry. guess i got carried away.” he chuckled nervously, like he was trying to laugh it off. “i was just... you know, talking. nothing serious.”

but it was serious. you both knew it. there was no playing that off. you stared at him, your mind racing, and suddenly, you were hyper-aware of the way he was still so close to you, the way his presence seemed to fill the space around you. his eyes darted away, avoiding your gaze, but the tension was still thick in the air, impossible to ignore.

“right,” you said, forcing a small laugh, though your face was still warm, your heart still pounding. “just talking.”

but now, you were going to be thinking about this. a lot.

sunghoon cleared his throat, still avoiding eye contact, but you noticed the way his shoulders were still tense, the way his ears were twitching slightly. “anyway,” he said, his voice lighter, “let’s... not make this weird, okay?”

too late for that. you nodded, trying to act like everything was fine, like your entire perspective on him hadn’t just shifted in the span of a few minutes. “yeah, sure,” you replied, though your voice sounded too tight, too awkward. “it’s fine.”

sunghoon smiled, his usual shy, innocent look returning, but you couldn’t unsee the intensity from moments before—the way he had almost claimed you with just his words. and now, as he stood there, trying to brush it off like it was no big deal, you were left wondering how deep that possessive side of him really ran.

you caught his eye for a brief second, and there it was again—a flicker of that intensity, just beneath the surface, masked by his usual soft, sweet demeanor. but now you knew it was there, and you couldn’t ignore it.

and you were sure as hell not going to stop thinking about it.

the afternoon sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm, golden light over the streets as you and sunghoon made your way to the hybrid center. you were meeting up with jay and jungwon, finally giving sunghoon the chance to meet the hybrid you’d been telling him about. your heart thumped in your chest, a mix of excitement and a bit of nervousness at how sunghoon would react to jungwon.

you reached the center just as jay pulled up, his car gleaming under the sunlight. he parked and hopped out, grinning the moment he saw you. “well, well, look who’s early for once,” jay teased, his eyes twinkling as he walked over to you.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. “early? i think you’re confusing me with someone else, jay. it’s you who’s always late.”

jay laughed, shaking his head as he closed the distance between you, pulling you into a quick, friendly hug. sunghoon, still in his rabbit form, was nestled in your arms, his soft fur pressing against your chest as you greeted jay.

as jay pulled away, his eyes flicked down to sunghoon, who had stiffened ever so slightly at the proximity. “so, this is the famous sunghoon, huh?” jay asked, leaning down a bit to get a better look. “he’s a cutie.”

you chuckled, giving sunghoon a little scratch behind his ears. “yeah, he’s been a little nervous about meeting jungwon.”

jay’s eyes softened as he stood back up, giving sunghoon a reassuring smile. “don’t worry, jungwon’s good with everyone. they’ll get along just fine.”

as you stood there chatting with jay, sunghoon’s little nose twitched, his ears perking up. though he couldn’t speak, you could feel the subtle shift in his posture. he was studying your interaction with jay, his instincts sharp as ever. he could feel your heart race slightly, but it wasn’t from nerves—it was more out of excitement. there was nothing romantic or lustful in the way you talked to jay, nothing that made sunghoon feel like he had anything to worry about. the playful teasing, the easy way you laughed with jay—it was clear to him that your bond with jay was purely platonic, and that knowledge brought him an unexpected wave of relief.

sunghoon nuzzled closer to you, his little body relaxing as he soaked in the warmth of your chest. he could tell—he could feel—how your heart beat differently when you were around him. and that made him happy.

“all right, let’s not keep them waiting,” jay said, clapping his hands and gesturing toward the car. he opened the backseat door, revealing jungwon in his sleek, feline form. the black-and-white cat hybrid stretched lazily, his tail flicking as his bright eyes locked onto you and sunghoon.

“hey, jungwon,” you greeted him with a soft smile, watching as his gaze flickered over to sunghoon with quiet curiosity.

jungwon blinked slowly, his tail swaying gracefully as he regarded the little rabbit in your arms. then, almost as if giving his approval, he let out a soft, rumbling purr.

“why don’t you let them have the backseat?” jay suggested, leaning in to scratch jungwon under his chin. “we’ll sit up front, give them some space.”

you laughed. “wow, they get the royal treatment.”

“of course,” jay grinned, holding the door open for you. “hop in.”

you slid into the passenger seat, and jay closed the door behind you before circling around to the driver’s side. in the backseat, sunghoon was still a bit tense, his little body rigid as you set him down next to jungwon. but jungwon didn’t make any sudden moves. instead, he sat elegantly, his posture calm, almost regal, his tail curling gracefully around his paws as he observed sunghoon.

“no need to be nervous,” jungwon seemed to convey with a slow, deliberate blink. his presence was confident, but not overwhelming, as if he knew exactly how to handle new situations without causing a fuss.

sunghoon, on the other hand, was a bit more hesitant. his ears twitched nervously, his eyes wide as he glanced around, unsure of how to respond to the calm, composed feline beside him.

jungwon tilted his head slightly, his tail flicking in a lazy arc. then, with a slow, careful movement, he leaned over and nudged sunghoon lightly with his nose, a simple, quiet gesture that said, “you’re safe here.”

sunghoon blinked, startled by the sudden contact, but something in jungwon’s calm, graceful demeanor seemed to settle him. he let out a soft, hesitant little hum, his ears twitching less anxiously now. the tension in his tiny body began to ease, bit by bit, as jungwon’s presence soothed him.

as you and jay chatted up front, oblivious to the quiet interaction in the backseat, jungwon and sunghoon’s bond began to form, slowly but surely. jungwon, ever the confident, composed hybrid, seemed to understand sunghoon’s nervousness without needing words. he didn’t rush anything, didn’t push—he simply stayed close, offering a quiet reassurance through his calm energy.

after a while, sunghoon, though still a little guarded, seemed to relax enough to nudge jungwon back, a tentative but clear sign of trust. jungwon’s tail flicked in response, his body language showing approval.

the sight of the two of them—jungwon’s quiet grace and sunghoon’s shy attempts at bonding—was almost too adorable for words. you glanced in the rearview mirror and couldn’t help but smile at how well they were getting along, even if it was subtle. “looks like they’re doing okay back there,” you noted, your voice warm with relief.

jay glanced in the mirror as well, a proud grin spreading across his face. “told you jungwon was a pro.”

sunghoon, now a bit more comfortable, nestled closer to jungwon, who let out a soft purr in response. the two of them, in their own quiet way, were starting to form a bond, and you could tell that sunghoon was finding comfort in jungwon’s calm, steady presence.

“they’re going to be good for each other,” you said softly, more to yourself than to jay. but sunghoon, ever attuned to your emotions, seemed to sense the quiet contentment in your words. he glanced up at you from the backseat, and for the first time that day, his little body was fully relaxed. he was happy.

as the car cruised along the road, casting a kaleidoscope of colors against the windows. you sat in the passenger seat, glancing at jay with a spark of curiosity flickering in your eyes. there had been something on your mind for a while, something you’d been itching to ask.

“hey, jay,” you started, your voice laced with intrigue. “be straight with me.”

jay shot you a quick glance, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips before he returned his focus to the road. “sure, what’s up?”

you leaned in slightly, lowering your voice as if sharing some kind of secret. “can jungwon transform too? like, into his full human form?”

jay’s reaction was instant—his eyes widened slightly in surprise, and you could feel the atmosphere in the car shift. from the backseat, the playful pawing of sunghoon and jungwon suddenly stilled. their attention, though silent, was now entirely on your conversation.

jungwon’s ears perked up, his tail flicking with interest as he exchanged a quick, knowing glance with sunghoon, who had been nervously fidgeting just moments before. it was almost like a silent conversation was passing between them—a shared understanding, something only they could pick up on.

jay chuckled softly, pulling you back to the conversation. “well, jungwon can definitely transform. he’s got the ability to shift between his hybrid and full human forms, but honestly, he doesn’t do it much.”

sunghoon’s ears twitched, and you could see him side-eyeing jungwon now, the curiosity clear in his expression. what does jungwon look like as a human? the question hung in the air, but neither you nor jay were fully clued in to the exchange happening behind you.

jungwon, clearly picking up on sunghoon’s curiosity, let out a soft rumbling purr, almost too quiet to be heard, his tail swaying lazily behind him. sunghoon’s response was a subtle flick of his ears, a low hum vibrating through his throat. it was a conversation neither you nor jay were part of—something instinctual, wordless, and uniquely their own. jungwon’s eyes glinted with amusement as if he found the whole situation more entertaining than he let on.

“does he—” you started, only to be cut off by jay’s playful chuckle.

“does he what?” jay teased, throwing you a grin before focusing back on the road.

you rolled your eyes but grinned back. “does he use his full human form often?”

jay shook his head, still laughing softly. “nah. jungwon prefers staying in his hybrid form. it’s more comfortable for him, and honestly, it draws less attention when we’re out. but yeah, he can shift if needed.”

from the backseat, you caught a soft, almost amused meow from jungwon, like he was confirming what jay had said in his own way. his tail flicked again, brushing lightly against sunghoon’s arm.

sunghoon leaned in slightly, his voice barely a murmur as he “spoke” to jungwon. it wasn’t verbal, not in the way you or jay communicated, but rather through subtle movements—an ear twitch here, a low hum there. jungwon responded with an easy flick of his tail, eyes half-lidded as if amused by the conversation only they could understand. there was a bond forming in those quiet, wordless moments, a connection between hybrids that you and jay could only glimpse from the outside.

“so, jungwon,” sunghoon finally murmured softly, glancing at him with curiosity written all over his face. “what’s it like? being fully human?”

jungwon, lounging comfortably in the backseat, turned his head toward sunghoon, a small, playful smile tugging at his lips. his tail swayed lazily as he gave sunghoon a slow blink, the kind that conveyed understanding, trust, and a dash of teasing. “it’s different,” he replied quietly, though you and jay only heard the faintest rumble of a purr. the rest of the meaning was communicated through body language—a relaxed posture, a flick of the ear.

sunghoon tilted his head slightly, his nose twitching in thought as he processed jungwon’s nonchalant response. “and you don’t miss it? being fully human?”

jungwon’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he let out a low, almost inaudible purr that vibrated through the space between them. “nah,” he seemed to say through that small, amused movement, “i’m good like this.” and then, for a bit of fun, he added through a slow, deliberate flick of his tail, “if i went full human, you’d all be too jealous.”

sunghoon blinked, his ears twitching as he let out a soft huff of amusement, though his eyes lingered on jungwon, still intrigued by the idea. the exchange between them was easy, fluid, and it felt like they’d known each other far longer than they actually had.

meanwhile, you and jay were none the wiser, oblivious to the layers of communication happening just out of reach. you laughed at jungwon’s meow, not quite catching the teasing undertones he shared with sunghoon. “you’re probably right,” you teased. “if he shifts, you’d have to warn us. not sure we could handle that.”

jay grinned, his eyes flicking to jungwon in the rearview mirror. “trust me, you haven’t seen anything yet. when he shifts, heads turn. there’s a reason he doesn’t do it often.”

jungwon, ever the quiet trickster, swatted lazily at jay from the backseat, his tail flicking with a feigned annoyance. but behind that playful swat, there was a quiet confidence, an almost smug acknowledgment between him and sunghoon.

“don’t oversell it, jay,” jungwon “said” through a flick of his ears, shooting sunghoon an almost conspiratorial glance.

sunghoon, relaxing into the backseat now, let out a quiet huff, his earlier nervousness easing away. he was starting to settle into this new understanding of jungwon—seeing him not just as another hybrid but as someone with his own complexities, someone he could relate to on a deeper level. there was an unspoken camaraderie forming between them, rooted in a shared experience you and jay could only guess at.

jungwon’s eyes twinkled as he glanced back at sunghoon, his tail swishing contentedly. “maybe one day,” his body language seemed to say. “i’ll show you.”

sunghoon blinked, surprised but intrigued, his ears twitching with a quiet excitement. “i’d like that,” he responded, a soft, shy smile creeping onto his face as he settled back into the seat.

as the city lights blurred outside the car window, you and jay carried on your lighthearted banter, but in the backseat, sunghoon and jungwon shared something more—a connection built on instinct, unspoken understanding, and a quiet sense of belonging. it wasn’t something that needed words. it was simply something they knew.

as the car pulled into the parking lot of the center, you couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of excitement. you glanced back at sunghoon and jungwon, the two hybrids now comfortably lying together in the backseat. jungwon’s head rested gently against sunghoon’s side, and despite sunghoon’s initial nervousness, he seemed to have found some comfort in jungwon’s presence. the quiet purring of the cat hybrid had worked wonders, creating a calm atmosphere that allowed sunghoon to relax a little more.

“ready to meet jake?” you asked, turning in your seat to look at sunghoon, who perked up at the sound of his name. his wide eyes held a mixture of excitement and anxiety. jungwon gave him a nudge with his head, as if silently reassuring him that everything would be fine.

you smiled, leaning back to give sunghoon a gentle pat on his soft head. “it’s okay, sunghoon. you’ll do great.” you felt his little body relax just slightly against you, as if taking comfort in your words.

jay parked the car and shot you a grin. “looks like jake’s here, and as energetic as always. i think he’ll be a good match for sunghoon. he’s got that playful energy but knows when to hold back.” jay opened the door, and you carefully lifted sunghoon from the backseat, cradling him in your arms. you could feel the nervous tension in his body, but there was also a flicker of curiosity that you knew would soon win out.

as you and jay stepped into the shelter, the familiar scent of the center greeted you—clean, but with the earthy undertone of animal fur and fresh linens. the staff welcomed you both with warm smiles, and after a brief exchange of pleasantries, they led you toward jake’s enclosure.

the sound of playful barks filled the air, and you spotted jake immediately. the golden retriever hybrid was bouncing around, playing with a colorful toy, his tail wagging so hard it was a wonder it hadn’t knocked something over. when jay called out to him, jake’s ears perked up, and he bounded toward the glass wall, his eyes bright and full of excitement.

“hey, jake!” jay greeted him with a chuckle. “ready to meet some new friends?”

jake’s tail wagged faster, his enthusiasm contagious. as jay opened the enclosure door, jake trotted over, his eyes immediately locking onto sunghoon in your arms. the golden retriever hybrid’s energy was undeniable, but there was something else, too—a sense of understanding that was clear in the way he slowed his pace as he approached.

“this is jake,” jay said, gesturing toward the puppy hybrid. “and jake, this is sunghoon. he’s a little nervous, so take it easy.”

sunghoon tensed slightly in your arms as jake approached, his wide eyes fixed on the golden retriever. but jake, sensing the apprehension, slowed down and gently sniffed the air around sunghoon, his tail wagging in slow, cautious movements. sunghoon’s ears flicked nervously, but he didn’t pull away.

“it’s okay, sunghoon,” you said softly, stroking his fur. “jake’s just saying hi.”

jungwon, who had followed you into the room, sat down a short distance away, watching the interaction with interest. his soft purrs filled the air, as if to reassure his new friend. jake glanced at jungwon briefly before focusing back on sunghoon, his gaze soft and gentle despite the playful energy that radiated from him.

after a moment, sunghoon seemed to relax, just slightly. he took a hesitant sniff at the air around jake, his little nose twitching as he processed the new scent. the two hybrids stared at each other for a long, quiet moment before jake gave a small, friendly nudge with his nose. sunghoon tensed at the contact, but when he realized there was no threat, he let out a soft hum, edging a bit closer.

“looks like jake’s making a good impression,” jay said, watching the interaction with a satisfied smile.

you nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “yeah, i think they’re going to be good for each other.”

but as you observed sunghoon’s growing comfort with jake, you couldn’t help but notice something else—a slight shift in sunghoon’s demeanor. though he was still hesitant, there was a glimmer of something in his eyes, a flicker of interest in jake that went beyond simple curiosity. sunghoon wasn’t just relaxing around the new hybrid; he seemed almost... drawn to him. it was subtle, but you knew sunghoon well enough to pick up on the change.

as jake playfully nudged sunghoon again, this time earning a small, tentative hop in return, you realized that sunghoon’s possessiveness, which you’d always felt toward you, was being redirected. he wasn’t just wary of jake—he was intrigued by him, fascinated in a way that made you wonder if sunghoon’s instincts were kicking in. the dynamic between the two hybrids was unfolding right before your eyes, and it was... adorable, in a way. jake, with his boundless energy, was slowly coaxing sunghoon out of his shell.

jungwon, meanwhile, sat back, purring softly, watching the interaction with a knowing look. it was as if he’d expected this all along.

the three hybrids were so absorbed in each other that you and jay turned your attention to the shelter staff, discussing the logistics of jake’s adoption. but as you spoke with the staff, one of them cleared her throat, her expression shifting from casual to slightly serious.

“jay,” she began, her tone quiet but concerned, “there’s something we need to discuss about jake’s behavior. nothing major, but it’s something we’ve noticed since his last check-up.”

jay’s eyebrows raised in concern, and you felt sunghoon shift slightly in your arms, as if he sensed the change in the atmosphere too.

“what’s wrong?” jay asked, his voice steady but clearly curious.

the staff member hesitated, glancing at jake, who was now lying down beside sunghoon, his tail still wagging gently. “well, jake’s heat cycles have been... more intense than we expected for a hybrid his age. he’s going to need some extra attention, especially when he’s in heat.”

you felt sunghoon’s body tense again, and you instinctively held him a little closer. his ears flicked back as if he were processing the new information, and you couldn’t help but wonder how this was going to affect his relationship with jake. sunghoon had always been a bit possessive, especially when it came to you, but now... there was something about jake that seemed to draw him in, and you weren’t sure how it would play out.

jay, ever the optimist, nodded thoughtfully. “okay. anything specific we need to know? how can we help him during those times?”

the staff member smiled, appreciating jay’s concern. “just make sure he’s comfortable. he tends to get a bit clingy, and he needs reassurance. it’s important not to leave him alone during those times.”

jay glanced over at jake, who was now snuggled up to sunghoon, his tail still wagging softly. “well, he’s certainly found some good company.”

you smiled, watching as sunghoon and jake seemed to settle into a quiet companionship. despite the initial nerves, it seemed that sunghoon had found a connection with jake, one that you hadn’t expected. the possessiveness was still there, but now it was tempered by something else—a growing bond between the two hybrids.

“looks like we’ve got a lot to look forward to,” you said softly, glancing at jay, who nodded in agreement.

and as you watched sunghoon nuzzle closer to jake, his initial hesitation melting away, you couldn’t help but feel that this was the beginning of something special.

“how old is jake?” jay asked, his voice curious as he watched the way jake seemed to easily draw sunghoon out of his nervous shell.

the staff member glanced at the two hybrids, a soft smile on her face as she responded. “jake is about three years old in hybrid terms, so that’s roughly the equivalent of a twenty-one-year-old human. he’s still quite young, but as you can see, he’s full of energy.”

jay let out a low whistle, nodding as he took in the information. “makes sense. he’s got that youthful energy about him.”

you glanced down at sunghoon, who was starting to relax even more now that jake had settled beside him. despite being a little older than jake, sunghoon had always been more reserved, and seeing him warm up to the golden retriever hybrid was like watching a quiet miracle unfold.

“and sunghoon?” jay asked, turning to you with a raised eyebrow. “how old’s he again?”

you smiled softly, giving sunghoon a gentle pat. “he’s about four years in hybrid terms, which makes him roughly around twenty-three.” you looked at sunghoon, who glanced up at you with wide, soft eyes, his little nose twitching as if he understood the conversation.

“ah, so he’s the older one here, huh?” jay teased with a grin. “no wonder he was a bit hesitant. probably didn’t want to look uncool in front of the younger hybrid.”

you chuckled, shaking your head. “sunghoon doesn’t need to worry about that. he’s cool in his own way.”

the playful banter brought a lightness to the moment, but as you looked back at the two hybrids, something else stirred in you. there was a growing connection between them, one that seemed to deepen with every small nuzzle and shared glance. sunghoon, who had always been a bit possessive of you, seemed to have found a balance now, with jake’s warmth and playful energy drawing him in.

jake, for his part, seemed to sense sunghoon’s need for comfort. though his natural exuberance was clear, he had toned it down for sunghoon’s sake, offering gentle nudges and soft, playful gestures that invited sunghoon to trust him. it was almost like jake understood sunghoon’s unspoken needs, and the way the two were starting to bond made your heart swell.

“looks like they’re getting along better than i expected,” you said, watching as jake stretched out beside sunghoon, his tail still wagging gently.

“yeah, it’s actually kind of cute,” jay added, leaning back with a satisfied smile. “they’re already acting like they’ve known each other for ages.”

but as you observed the scene, you couldn’t help but notice something else—a flicker of possessiveness in sunghoon’s eyes when jake shifted a bit too close to you. even though he was warming up to jake, that instinct to claim his space, his bond with you, was still there. it wasn’t aggressive, but it was subtle, like a quiet reminder that, no matter what, you were his person.

you held sunghoon a little closer, feeling his small body relax into yours. his possessiveness was something you had grown used to, and it wasn’t unwelcome. in fact, it was one of the things that made sunghoon... sunghoon.

but now, as he started to build this new bond with jake, you wondered if that dynamic was shifting. there was a softness in the way sunghoon interacted with jake, as if he was slowly learning that he didn’t need to be on guard all the time. jake was showing him that it was okay to share, to let others in.

“what do you think, sunghoon?” you murmured, gently scratching behind his ears. “you think you and jake are going to be friends?”

sunghoon gave a soft hum, his eyes closing slightly as he leaned into your touch. and while he didn’t say anything, you could feel it—the way his body relaxed, the way he no longer seemed tense in jake’s presence.

“i think that’s a yes,” jay said, grinning as he watched the two hybrids interact.

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “yeah, i think so too.”

as the conversation with the staff member continued, you found yourself glancing back at sunghoon and jake more often than not. the way they were starting to understand each other, to communicate in their own quiet way, was heartwarming. sunghoon’s possessiveness was still there, but now it felt... different. less about keeping others away and more about finding a balance between his bond with you and his growing friendship with jake.

“so, what’s the next step?” jay asked the staff member, shifting gears back to the adoption process.

the staff member smiled, handing over some papers. “well, once the paperwork is sorted, you’ll be able to take jake home. just keep in mind what i mentioned earlier about his heat cycles. it’ll take some time for him to adjust, but with sunghoon and jungwon around, i’m sure he’ll be just fine.”

you and jay exchanged a glance, a mixture of excitement and anticipation bubbling between you. this was the start of a new chapter, not just for jake, but for sunghoon as well. and as you looked at the two hybrids lying contentedly beside each other, you couldn’t help but feel that this was the beginning of something special.

“looks like we’ve got a lot to look forward to,” you said softly, echoing your earlier words with a smile.

jay nodded, his expression warm. “yeah, we really do.”

the staff member's words hung in the air, catching both you and jay off guard. "i'd suggest you consider living together or in close quarters," she said, her tone casual but pointed. “are you two a couple? just to make sure you can keep tabs on your hybrids.”

you blinked, exchanging a quick, surprised glance with jay, whose expression mirrored your own mix of shock and amusement. “uh, no,” jay replied, laughing lightly as he shook his head. “we’re not a couple.”

“definitely not,” you added, laughing as well, though you could feel sunghoon tense slightly in your arms. his ears flicked, his little nose twitching as he tried to process the conversation. you could almost feel his possessiveness creeping back in, like he didn’t quite enjoy the suggestion of you and jay being more than friends.

the staff member raised an eyebrow, clearly oblivious to the tension brewing between sunghoon and jake in their quiet, instinctual way. “oh, i see. well, it’s just something to consider, especially with how attached hybrids can get. being close by helps with bonding and keeping them comfortable.”

jay gave you a playful nudge. “i guess we could always rent a place together,” he teased, grinning as he looked down at sunghoon and jake. “just to make sure the boys get along, of course.”

“yeah, right,” you shot back, rolling your eyes but smiling. “because i’m sure sunghoon would love that.”

at your words, sunghoon gave a soft, almost indignant hum, his body pressing closer to you. his possessiveness was bubbling just beneath the surface again, especially with jake’s proximity. though he was warming up to the golden retriever hybrid, there was no mistaking his need to keep his bond with you clear. you were his person, and no one, not even jay, was going to challenge that.

jay chuckled, noticing sunghoon’s subtle reaction. “looks like someone’s not a fan of that idea.”

“yeah, i think he’s making his opinion pretty clear,” you said, unable to suppress a smile as you felt sunghoon relax slightly at your reassurance. jake, ever the carefree spirit, wagged his tail in the background, clearly oblivious to the subtle possessiveness playing out between the rabbit hybrid and his new friend.

“anyway,” the staff member said, breaking the moment with a professional tone, “just keep in mind that hybrids can form strong attachments, and living close to one another can help with socialization. it’s something to consider if they’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”

you nodded, glancing at jay with a more serious expression now. “we’ll figure something out,” you said, thinking about how sunghoon might handle the shift in dynamic once jake joined your little world.

as you headed toward the door, sunghoon nestled even closer into your arms, clearly staking his claim. but as you glanced back at jake, whose bright eyes were still fixed on sunghoon, you couldn’t help but wonder what this new chapter would bring.

there was something about jake that intrigued sunghoon, even if he didn’t fully realize it yet. and as you left the shelter, the playful energy between the two hybrids hinted at a friendship—or maybe something more—that was just beginning to unfold.

after jay finalized the paperwork for jake's adoption, the three of you made your way back to the car, with jake trotting happily beside jay and sunghoon nestled securely in your arms. the day had been eventful, and as you opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat, your mind wandered back to the staff member’s suggestion about living together. the idea had been a little... awkward, but it lingered in your mind now as you buckled in.

jay got into the driver’s seat with jake hopping up in the back, his tail wagging with excitement. sunghoon, on the other hand, seemed more relaxed now, resting his head against your chest, though his ears twitched from time to time, like he was still processing the idea of another hybrid in his space.

“so, that whole ‘living together’ thing,” you started, turning to jay with a raised eyebrow. “are we really going to just gloss over that? i mean, it was kind of weird, right?”

jay let out a laugh, starting the car as he shook his head. “yeah, that was definitely something. i mean, we’re not a couple, but i guess from the outside, it probably looked like it. spending so much time together with our hybrids and all.”

you rolled your eyes, a playful smile on your lips. “well, for the record, i think sunghoon would lose his mind if i shared space with you. he’s already protective enough.”

“yeah, i noticed,” jay teased, glancing at sunghoon nestled in your arms. “he’s been eyeing jake like he’s trying to figure out where to place him in the hierarchy.”

before you could respond, you felt a sudden shift in the backseat. jungwon, who had been lounging casually beside jake, was now moving toward you, his sleek, graceful form slinking across the seat until he climbed up onto your lap. his eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, you froze, unsure of what he was trying to communicate.

“jungwon? what are you doing?” you asked, your voice tinged with confusion as he stared at you, his eyes intense, almost... human-like in their focus. his tail flicked lazily, and he seemed to study your face, as if contemplating something.

you glanced over at jay, who was watching the interaction with raised eyebrows. “uh, jay? is this... normal?”

“huh,” jay muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at jungwon. “i think... i think he’s trying to tell us he wants to shift. hybrids usually give off certain signals when they want to change into their human form.”

your heart skipped a beat, and you looked back at jungwon, his gaze still locked onto yours. is that what this is? you thought, feeling the weight of his stare. he blinked slowly, as if confirming jay’s theory, before hopping back to his seat beside jake.

but then you remembered something important—they’re naked when they transform.

“oh shit,” you blurted, your eyes going wide. “jay, if he shifts, he’s going to be—”

“naked, yeah,” jay interrupted, his eyes widening with realization as he scrambled for something in the back. “hold on, i’ve got a blanket somewhere.”

jungwon, clearly aware of the commotion he’d caused, let out an amused little purr, as if he was enjoying watching you and jay panic over his impending transformation. you could swear there was a hint of mischief in his eyes as he watched jay fumble for a blanket.

“seriously, jungwon, now?” you muttered under your breath, feeling the heat rise to your face as you glanced back at the cat hybrid.

just as jay finally pulled a blanket from the glove compartment and throwing it towards them.

and then it happened.

right before your eyes, jungwon began to shift. his sleek, feline body elongated, and his fur began to recede into smooth, tanned skin. every movement was fluid, deliberate, and with every stretch, his muscles flexed subtly, revealing a figure that was far more masculine than you had expected. his transformation was quick, and as his body took on its full human form, you couldn’t help but stare, utterly shocked by what you were seeing.

jungwon was gorgeous.

broad shoulders, toned muscles, and a tall, lean build. he moved with a grace that was almost inhuman, every muscle in his body perfectly defined, like someone who knew exactly how to control every inch of himself. his hair, still tousled from the transformation, gave him a wild, yet effortlessly cool look, falling over his forehead in soft waves. but it wasn’t just his physique that caught you off guard—it was his eyes.

those same cat-like, magnetic eyes. they hadn’t changed at all. even in his human form, they were still sharp, intense, and piercing in a way that made your breath hitch. they gleamed with a mix of curiosity and confidence, like he was perfectly aware of the effect he had on you, and he wasn’t about to shy away from it.

he stretched, his body moving with the same feline grace he had in his hybrid form, and as his muscles flexed subtly under his skin, you couldn’t tear your eyes away. his movements were mesmerizing, and despite his lean build, there was a raw power behind every subtle shift of his body. he seemed younger than sunghoon—maybe it was the mischievous spark in his eyes or the slight smirk on his lips—but there was no denying how masculine he was.

you felt your mouth go dry as you tried to process what was happening. jungwon was hot. impossibly hot.

“uh...” you stammered, still trying to find your words as your gaze flicked between his broad shoulders and those hypnotic, cat-like eyes. “jungwon?”

jay, who had been watching the whole thing from the driver’s seat, let out a low laugh, shaking his head as he glanced over at you. “told you so,” he said, his voice tinged with amusement. “i wasn’t overselling it. jungwon’s... well, he’s hot.”

jungwon, noticing your reaction, tilted his head slightly, his lips curling into a playful smirk. “something wrong?” he asked, his voice low and smooth, as if he wasn’t fully aware of the effect his transformation had on you. but those gleaming eyes told you otherwise—he knew.

“n-no, nothing’s wrong,” you managed, feeling your cheeks heat up as you tried to look anywhere but at the way his muscles flexed whenever he moved. “just... didn’t expect that.”

jungwon chuckled softly, his smirk widening. “i get that a lot.”

he sat back, his body relaxed but still exuding that quiet, controlled strength. you tried to pull yourself together, but it wasn’t easy when he was just sitting there, looking like something straight out of a magazine. and god, those eyes—still sharp, still magnetic. no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he could see right through you with them.

“well, now you know,” jay said, still grinning as he glanced between you and jungwon. “jungwon may look young, but don’t let that fool you. he’s more than capable of keeping up with the rest of us.”

jungwon leaned forward slightly, his gaze still locked on you as he added, “glad i didn’t disappoint.”

before you could respond, jake suddenly barked happily from his spot in the backseat, his tail wagging furiously. in one excited leap, he jumped into jungwon’s lap, his energy practically radiating off him as he nuzzled his head into jungwon’s chest. jungwon let out a surprised laugh, his earlier intensity melting away as he instinctively wrapped an arm around jake, ruffling his tousled hair.

“easy, jake,” jungwon chuckled, his voice light as he tried to keep the overexcited golden retriever hybrid from toppling them both over. jake, however, seemed oblivious to everything except his desire to play, his tail still thumping wildly as he barked again, nudging his head against jungwon’s chin.

you couldn’t help but smile at the sight. despite jungwon’s usual calm, collected demeanor, it was impossible not to see the playful side of him come out as he tried to manage jake’s relentless affection. the dynamic between them was almost too cute—jake’s energetic, puppy-like excitement bouncing off jungwon’s cool exterior, which was now softened by the affectionate way he handled jake.

jungwon’s smirk softened into a genuine smile as he scratched behind jake’s ears, a fondness in his eyes that made you realize just how much warmth he carried beneath that smooth, confident surface.

you swallowed hard, nodding as you finally managed to tear your eyes away. “yeah... no disappointment here.”

jungwon glanced at you again, his expression softer now, the intensity fading from his eyes.

sunghoon, who had been quietly nestled in your arms, seemed to notice the shift in your reaction to jungwon. his ears twitched slightly, his soft fur brushing against your skin as if he could sense the quickening of your heartbeat. the way your breath hitched, the way your eyes lingered on jungwon’s perfectly toned figure—it didn’t go unnoticed by sunghoon. and the tiny, shy rabbit hybrid wasn’t sure what to make of it.

you felt sunghoon stir against you, his head lifting slightly as he peered over at jungwon, who was still lounging in the backseat with that smirk playing on his lips. there was curiosity in sunghoon’s gaze, but there was also something else—something possessive, like he was trying to figure out why you were so captivated by jungwon. it wasn’t jealousy exactly, but it was close enough.

without a word, sunghoon shifted in your arms, his little paws pushing against your chest as he hopped out of your lap and made his way to the backseat. you blinked in surprise, watching as sunghoon landed softly on jungwon’s lap, his tiny frame looking even smaller compared to jungwon’s broad, muscular form.

jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by the sudden interaction. he leaned back, watching sunghoon with those cat-like eyes, a knowing smirk still tugging at the corner of his lips. "looks like he wants to transform too," jungwon remarked, his voice low and teasing, but there was no malice in it—just pure curiosity.

sunghoon, for his part, didn’t respond right away. instead, he stared at jungwon, his little nose twitching as if he were studying him, trying to figure out how someone like jungwon could be so... well, jungwon. it was a look of curiosity, but also determination. sunghoon wasn’t one to be outshined, not by jungwon or anyone else. and it was clear that being around the confident cat hybrid was pushing him out of his usual shell.

after a few seconds, sunghoon made his decision. with a soft hop, he shifted off jungwon’s lap and onto the seat beside him. then, just like before, his small, delicate frame began to change.

his body elongated, his soft fur giving way to smooth, pale skin, his small frame transforming into that of a young man. when it was over, sunghoon sat there, blinking up at you with wide eyes, his ears—still rabbit-like—twitching slightly in his human form. he was... beautiful, almost ethereal, his features delicate but striking.

“holy shit,” jay breathed from the front seat, quickly throwing the blanket over sunghoon to cover him. “you didn’t tell me he’d be this pretty.”

you blinked, taking in sunghoon’s transformation, your heart racing as you struggled to find words. god, he was gorgeous. his features were almost too perfect—his pale skin, the soft slope of his nose, his large, expressive eyes. it was like looking at a prince, or maybe something out of a dream, and you suddenly wondered if the fatigue and dry spell you’d been going through were messing with your mind.

sunghoon, meanwhile, gave you a shy, hesitant smile, his cheeks flushing a soft pink as he pulled the blanket tighter around himself. he seemed both proud and nervous, like he wasn’t quite sure how you’d react to seeing him like this.

jake barked, wagging his tail as he bounded closer to sunghoon, his excitement evident. jungwon, ever the calm observer, let out a low, approving purr, his tail flicking as he watched sunghoon with interest.

sunghoon, however, was far less composed. he was bundled up in the blanket, his ears—still twitching adorably even in human form—drooping slightly as he blushed furiously. “um... hi,” he said softly, his voice still shy, his eyes darting between you and jungwon.

jungwon glanced over at sunghoon, his lips curling into a small, teasing smile. “you okay there, sunghoon? first time shifting around people?”

sunghoon nodded, clutching the blanket tighter around his bare chest. “yeah, I just... I wasn’t sure how it’d feel.”

jungwon’s eyes glinted with amusement, but there was no malice in it—just that same mischievous, playful energy he always had. “you’ll get used to it. besides,” he added with a wink, “it’s kind of nice not being stuck in our animal forms all the time.”

jay let out a half-choked laugh from the front seat. “yeah, well, next time, warn us before you two decide to strip down in the car.”

jungwon rolled his eyes playfully. “where’s the fun in that, jay?”

meanwhile, sunghoon, still visibly flustered, peeked at jungwon from under his lashes, his face turning an even deeper shade of pink. “you... um...” he hesitated, biting his lip before blurting out, “you’re... really pretty.”

the car fell silent for a beat, jungwon’s eyebrows raising in surprise as a smirk slowly spread across his face. jay’s eyes went wide in the mirror, and you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, the tension breaking in the most unexpected way.

jungwon’s smirk turned into a full grin, his sharp features softening slightly as he responded. “well, thanks, sunghoon. you’re not too bad yourself.”

sunghoon’s blush deepened, and he ducked his head, hiding his face in the blanket as if that would somehow make him disappear. you reached over, giving him a reassuring pat on the arm. “hey, it’s okay. no need to be embarrassed.”

before anyone could react, jake barked loudly, startling everyone in the car. “oh no,” you muttered, eyes widening as you watched jake’s body begin to elongate and morph into his human form.

jay yelped, his hands jerking on the steering wheel as he tried to keep control of the car. “whoa, jake! easy!” he shouted, his voice strained as the car swerved to the next lane.

jay, still trying to regain control of the car, glanced back in the rearview mirror, his expression torn between panic and disbelief. “oh, for the love of—jake, what the hell?! i’m driving here!”

his body grew taller, his broad, muscular frame emerging as his fur receded into his skin. it was a transformation that left you momentarily speechless—jake’s human form was nothing short of stunning. he was sculpted to perfection, every inch of him exuding masculine power. his chest and arms were toned and chiseled, like a man who’d spent every day of his life either surfing or working out. his wavy, slightly tousled hair framed his rugged, handsome face with an air of effortless charm, like a surfer dude who knew how to get all the women with just a smile.

and god, he looked like he knew it.

but jake, now fully transformed and sitting in the backseat without a stitch of clothing, simply grinned, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “i just had to!” he exclaimed, his voice full of energy. he shifted forward eagerly, as if he couldn’t sit still, like the transformation had charged him with even more adrenaline.

jay, finally managing to pull the car over to the side of the road, turned around in his seat, looking both exasperated and amazed. “jake, what the hell, man?” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “you could’ve warned us! we almost crashed.”

but jake, clearly too amped up to care, just flashed a mischievous grin. “sorry, sorry. i just... i didn’t want to be left out,” he admitted, his tone almost boyish in its excitement. his hair fell in messy waves over his forehead, giving him that signature rugged, carefree look that somehow made him even more attractive.

jungwon, ever the voice of reason, let out a long sigh, though you could see the faintest smirk on his lips. “jake, you nearly got us killed just because you wanted to join in?” he asked, his tone dry but with an edge of amusement. “couldn’t you have done it when quietly?”

jake shrugged, completely unbothered. “i didn’t want to miss out on the fun.” he leaned back, his muscular arms resting behind his head in an effortless pose that made his already striking physique look even more impressive. “besides, i wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”

sunghoon, still bundled up in his blanket, stared wide-eyed at jake, his gaze darting from jake’s broad chest to his tanned skin, then back to you as if to ask, is this really happening?

you couldn’t help but laugh, though your cheeks were burning with embarrassment. “well, jake, next time, maybe give us a little warning before you go full... surfer dude in the backseat.”

jay, still holding the wheel, groaned and pressed a hand to his forehead. “seriously, jake. you scared the hell out of me. not to mention... you’re naked.”

jake glanced down at himself, seemingly noticing his lack of clothing for the first time, and then shrugged again, completely unfazed. “no big deal. we’ve got a blanket, right?” he said, grinning as he reached for the one sunghoon was using.

jungwon rolled his eyes but remained calm, even as he shifted back into a more comfortable position, though there was no real annoyance—more like mild exasperation mixed with amusement.

sunghoon, still flustered from the sudden transformation, whispered to you, “i didn’t know he was... like that.”

you glanced down at sunghoon, who was clearly trying not to stare at jake’s impressive form. “yeah, me neither,” you murmured, biting back a smile.

jake, however, seemed to sense sunghoon’s discomfort and gave him a playful nudge. “don’t worry, sunghoon. you’ll get used to it. i’m pretty fun to be around, you know.”

sunghoon blinked, clearly unsure of how to respond, but he managed a shy nod. “yeah... i guess so.”

jay, trying to process everything that had just happened, finally glanced back at jungwon with a bemused expression. “okay, i’ve got to ask... why did you decide to transform too? not that i’m complaining or anything, but what’s up with the timing?”

jungwon, never one to shy away from a bit of drama, stretched his arms behind his head, a grin playing on his lips. “well, you guys were talking about living together,” he said casually, as if he were merely commenting on the weather. “i figured i’d join the conversation, considering it directly affects me too.”

jay nearly choked on his own laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. “you transformed just so you could be part of that conversation?”

jungwon shrugged, his smirk never fading. “well, yeah. it’s a pretty important topic. can’t leave all the big decisions to the humans, can we?”

you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at jungwon’s smooth delivery, though the situation was still slightly awkward. “i guess he’s got a point,” you said, glancing at jay. “we’ve been talking about them like they aren’t right here. maybe it’s only fair.”

sunghoon, still wrapped tightly in his blanket, was watching the interaction with wide eyes, his cheeks flushed from both the transformation and the ongoing conversation. “so, uh... are we really gonna be... living together?” he asked softly, his gaze flicking nervously between you and jay.

jay, still grinning, leaned back in his seat. “well, the lady at the center did bring it up. and with the way jake, jungwon, and you seem to be bonding, it might make sense.”

jake, who had been quiet for a few moments, suddenly perked up at the mention of his name. his wavy, sun-kissed hair fell into his eyes as he leaned forward from his spot in the backseat, a wide grin spreading across his face. “wait, wait, is it really happening?” he asked, practically bouncing in his seat. “because I’m all for it!”

his energy was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. jake had this way of bringing lightness into any conversation, his excitement so genuine that it made you feel like this living arrangement could actually work.

“of course you’d be into it,” jay teased, glancing at jake in the rearview mirror. “you probably just want someone to wrestle with all day.”

jake laughed, throwing his hands up in mock innocence. “well, yeah, that too! but seriously, I think it would be fun. we’re already getting along, right?” he said, glancing at jungwon and sunghoon with a hopeful look in his eyes.

sunghoon, who had been nervously biting his lip, gave a small nod. “i mean... i guess we are,” he admitted softly, his gaze flicking between you and jake. “it’s just a big step, you know?”

jungwon leaned back, clearly enjoying the conversation, his arms casually resting behind his head. “big step or not, it makes sense. you can’t leave hybrids like us on our own—we’re pack animals,” he added with a grin. “and besides, jake would probably tear the place apart if he didn’t have someone to keep him in check.”

jake let out a playful bark, crossing his arms as he leaned closer to jungwon. “oh, please. you wish you could keep up with me,” he teased, though his tone was lighthearted. “but for real, I think it’s a good idea. we’re already comfortable with each other, and living together would just make everything easier.”

you couldn’t help but glance between the three of them, their interactions now flowing naturally. jake’s carefree spirit, jungwon’s smooth confidence, and sunghoon’s quiet thoughtfulness—it all seemed to balance out, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together.

“so, what do you think?” jay asked, turning his attention to you. “they seem pretty on board with the idea.”

you took a deep breath, considering everything. “i mean... i’m not against it,” you said, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling in your chest. “but we’d have to set some boundaries, you know? we can’t just jump into this without a plan.”

“boundaries? sure, sure,” jake said, nodding enthusiastically. “but seriously, it’d be fun. i promise to keep things lively.”

jungwon raised an eyebrow at jake. “lively? more like chaotic. but... you do make a good point.”

sunghoon, who had been quietly listening, finally spoke up, his voice soft but firm. “if we do this... we’ll have to take care of each other, right?” he asked, glancing between you and jay, his gaze steady. “i don’t want to be a burden.” your heart swelled as sunghoon spoke, his voice soft but gaining confidence with every word. it was such a big moment for him, learning to express himself around others, and the way he glanced between you and jay with such earnestness made your chest tighten with affection. you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried. it was like watching him come out of his shell, slowly but surely, and it made you proud in a way you hadn’t expected.

you caught jay’s eye, and he was already looking at you, his expression mirroring yours. a knowing, affectionate look passed between the two of you—an unspoken acknowledgment of how far sunghoon had come since that first shy encounter. jay raised an eyebrow slightly, smirking as if to say see? he’s growing.

“so, sunghoon,” jay starts, glancing at the rearview mirror with a teasing smirk, “i know you’re kind of possessive over y/n, would you want to live with us?”

sunghoon’s ears twitched slightly, and his eyes widened as he shot a nervous glance toward you, his cheeks immediately flushing. “i... i’m not possessive,” he mumbled, though the way he fidgeted in his seat told a different story. his gaze flickered to jay, then to you, and finally settled on his hands, which were clenching the blanket he’d wrapped around himself earlier.

jake let out a laugh from the backseat, leaning forward with a playful grin. “come on, sunghoon, you know we’re just messing with you. but seriously, would you? live with us?”

sunghoon was quiet for a moment, his eyes still on his lap as if he was thinking it over. the teasing had clearly flustered him, but beneath it all, something deeper seemed to stir. you could feel the tension in the air shift as he finally took a deep breath and lifted his head.

“i like the idea,” he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “i like being around you guys... more than I probably show.” his eyes darted to jake and jungwon, and for the first time, there was a hint of something vulnerable there. “but... i don’t really know how to say it.”

jungwon, who had been watching the entire interaction with his usual calm, raised an eyebrow and leaned forward slightly, his voice low and gentle. “you don’t have to say anything you’re not ready for, sunghoon. it’s just us here.”

sunghoon nodded, taking another shaky breath before speaking again. “it’s just... i’ve never really had this before. people to care about, people who... actually like me back.” his words came out haltingly, as if he wasn’t used to expressing his emotions so openly. “i didn’t think I’d like the idea of living with others, but now...”

his voice trailed off, and he glanced toward you, his expression softening in a way that made your heart ache. “i like jake and jungwon, even if I don’t always show it. they’re... good to me. i feel safe with them.”

jake’s grin softened into something more genuine, and he leaned back, giving sunghoon an encouraging nod. “that’s because we like having you around, sunghoon. you don’t have to worry about showing it or not.”

“yeah,” jungwon added, his cat-like eyes locking onto sunghoon’s. “you’re part of this too. you belong with us.”

sunghoon swallowed, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke again. “but... i also want to make sure i have y/n.” his eyes met yours, and there was an intensity there that you hadn’t seen before. it wasn’t just possessiveness—it was deeper, rawer. “you’re the one who took me in, who made me feel like i had a home. i don’t want to lose that. i don’t want to lose you.”

the sincerity in his voice hit you hard, and you felt your chest tighten at the weight of his words. this wasn’t just about living together or sharing space—it was about trust, about the bonds that were forming between all of you. sunghoon wasn’t just protective; he was scared. scared that he’d lose the one thing he had clung to for so long.

“you’re not going to lose me, sunghoon,” you said softly, reaching out to touch his hand. his skin was warm under your fingers, and he looked up at you with wide, hopeful eyes. “i’m always going to be here for you. no matter what.”

sunghoon’s shoulders seemed to relax, a quiet sigh escaping him as he squeezed your hand gently.  

"but isn’t this all happening too fast?” you say to jay, a laugh escaping your lips, as you try to process the bizarre situation. the weight of everything hits you—the idea of living together with three hybrids, the emotional confessions, sunghoon’s intensity, and jake’s boundless energy. it’s all happening so quickly, and you can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed.

jay, keeping one hand on the wheel, shoots you a smirk from the driver’s seat, clearly amused by your reaction. “fast? maybe. but when have things ever gone at a normal pace for us?” he chuckles, shaking his head. “honestly, i’m just rolling with it at this point.”

you glance back at the hybrids. jake is still grinning like a puppy, his energy practically bouncing off the car walls. jungwon, calm as ever, is lounging with that knowing smirk on his face, while sunghoon—quiet, shy sunghoon—sits closer to you than before, his gaze flicking between you and the others as if still processing his own emotions.

“it’s... definitely a lot to take in,” you admit, rubbing the back of your neck. “i mean, one minute we’re talking about living arrangements, and the next, sunghoon’s practically confessing that he wants to be by my side forever.” you laugh, though there’s a nervous edge to it. “it’s a bit overwhelming.”

jay chuckles again, this time more softly, understanding the weight of your words. “i get it. but, y/n, look at them,” he gestures to the backseat, where the three hybrids are sitting. “they’re not just pets, you know? they’re real, living beings with emotions, instincts... and yeah, sometimes those instincts come on fast and strong.” he gives you a knowing look. “but they care about you. all of them. maybe that’s why it feels like it’s moving fast.”

you nod, biting your lip as you think it over. jay’s right. jake, jungwon, and sunghoon aren’t just hybrids—they’re forming connections, bonds that run deeper than you’d expected. even though things seem to be moving quickly, it’s clear that the emotions behind it all are genuine.

jake suddenly barks playfully from the backseat, cutting through the moment. “hey, fast or slow, i’m in!” he grins, leaning forward with excitement. “this is gonna be fun!”

jungwon rolls his eyes but smiles, his voice cool and teasing. “leave it to jake to simplify everything.”

sunghoon, still sitting quietly beside you, looks up and adds softly, “it might be fast, but... it feels right.” he blushes, glancing away after he says it, but there’s no denying the sincerity in his words.

you can’t help but smile at his honesty, your heart warming despite the chaos. “yeah... i guess it does feel right, doesn’t it?”

jay lets out a soft laugh, glancing at you again. “so, maybe it’s not about speed. maybe it’s just about... letting things happen the way they’re supposed to.”

you sigh, leaning back into your seat, your smile growing wider. “i guess you’re right. it’s just... wild to think about how much things have changed.”

“also, you’re the ones having to make the adjustments,” jay said, shooting you a playful grin. “my place is big enough for everyone.”

you raised an eyebrow, laughing at the sudden shift in conversation. “oh, is that right? are you just offering up your place now?”

“yup,” jay said confidently, glancing over at you. “i’ve got the space. besides, think about it—less hassle for you, no need to rearrange your life completely. and i’m already used to having hybrids around.”

jake, immediately catching onto the idea, perked up. “wait, seriously? we’d all stay at your place?” he practically bounced in his seat, the excitement in his voice evident. “that sounds awesome! your place is huge!”

jungwon, his usual calm self, nodded in agreement. “yeah, i’ve been there. plenty of space for all of us.”

you felt sunghoon tense beside you, clearly processing the thought of moving into jay’s place. his eyes flicked toward you, as if silently asking for reassurance. you gave him a gentle nudge with your elbow, offering him a soft smile. “sunghoon, what do you think?”

he hesitated for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip as he considered the idea. “i mean... if everyone else is okay with it,” he said quietly, though there was still that subtle hint of possessiveness lingering in his voice. “i just want to make sure... it’s still us, you know?”

you understood what he meant—he didn’t want to lose the closeness, the bond you two had built. moving into jay’s place with everyone would definitely change the dynamic, but you knew it wouldn’t change how you felt about him.

“it’ll still be us,” you assured him gently, your hand brushing against his. “we’re all in this together.”

sunghoon’s eyes softened, and he nodded, though his grip on the blanket tightened just a bit. “okay,” he whispered, his voice still unsure but trusting.

jay glanced in the rearview mirror, smirking. “see? problem solved. my place is big enough, and we won’t have to turn y/n’s life upside down. plus, i’ve got a yard.”

“oh, now you’re just bragging,” you teased, shaking your head. “but fine, if it’s easier for everyone, i guess we’ll take over your place.”

jake fist-pumped the air in excitement. “yes! this is gonna be great!”

jungwon leaned back, his smirk widening. “it’s settled then. we’ll all move in.”

sunghoon, still holding onto his usual shyness, glanced at you, his voice soft but carrying a small smile. “as long as we’re together.”

you squeezed his hand gently. “always.”

moving in with jay felt surreal. in the six years you had known him—ever since high school—it was crazy to think that things had reached this point. you’d never expected to be living under the same roof again, and this time, with three hybrids who had quickly become a huge part of your life. but here you were, standing in the middle of jay’s massive house, boxes scattered around as you tried to process how much had changed in such a short time.

the transition was smoother than expected, though. after all, jay’s place was spacious, with plenty of room for everyone. there were areas where the hybrids could be themselves, without feeling cramped or restricted. but despite the adjustment to living together, the hybrids seemed to thrive in their new environment.

sunghoon, who had once been shy and hesitant, was no longer the timid rabbit he used to be. in fact, he and jake were practically attached at the hip these days, always finding something to do together. whether it was running around in the yard, roughhousing like puppies, or simply hanging out and talking, the bond they formed was undeniable. sunghoon had grown so much—his confidence bloomed in ways that made you smile every time you saw him. his laughter came easier, and the way he interacted with jake was playful and relaxed, as if his old insecurities had faded away completely.

“hey, y/n! look what sunghoon taught me!” jake called out one afternoon, grinning as he bounded into the living room with sunghoon trailing right behind him. the two of them looked like excited children, eyes gleaming with mischief.

sunghoon laughed, shaking his head. “it’s not that impressive, jake.”

“come on, it’s awesome!” jake insisted, practically bouncing on his toes.

you watched them with a fond smile. they were always like this now—happy, teasing, full of energy. it was heartwarming to see sunghoon so comfortable, especially considering how shy he had been when you first met him.

meanwhile, jungwon was... well, jungwon. he maintained his cool, laid-back demeanor, never letting anything ruffle his feathers—or fur. he was often the calm in the storm, just chilling out in his favorite spot, usually by the large window that overlooked the garden. the others naturally gravitated toward him when they needed to relax, though jungwon, being a cat hybrid, definitely valued his alone time.

but even jungwon had adapted well to the new dynamic. he liked it—having more company around besides just jay. “it’s not so bad,” jungwon had once said, stretching lazily across the couch while sunghoon and jake wrestled playfully nearby. “better than it being just me and jay all the time. it’s... fun.”

and if there was anything that had really changed, it was the fact that all three hybrids now preferred their human forms most of the time. at first, they had stuck to their animal forms out of habit or comfort, but gradually, they seemed to embrace their human sides more. jungwon, for instance, liked the freedom it gave him—being able to stretch his legs and move around without the restrictions of his smaller form. sunghoon, too, had come to enjoy the confidence that his human form offered. and jake? well, jake just loved the energy and fun that came with being human, always up for a new adventure.

“so... this is it, huh?” jay said one night, as you both sat in the living room after the hybrids had finally crashed for the evening. “we’re all living together, like some weird hybrid-human family.”

you laughed, shaking your head at how ridiculous but true it all was. “yeah, it’s crazy. i never would’ve thought this is where we’d end up. but it’s... nice.”

“nice?” jay grinned, leaning back on the couch. “it’s wild, y/n. but yeah, i get it. it’s good.”

and it was good. everything had fallen into place in a way that felt almost too perfect. the hybrids had settled into their new home, and the connections between all of you had deepened. there were still occasional moments of chaos—like when jake would accidentally knock something over with his boundless energy, or when jungwon would disappear for hours to enjoy some alone time—but those moments only made life more lively, more real.

sunghoon had grown into someone who wasn’t just attached to you anymore—he had friends, people he trusted, and he was learning to share that trust with jake and jungwon. but despite the new bonds forming around him, one thing hadn’t changed: sunghoon still looked at you the same way he always had. with that quiet, steady affection that made you feel like, no matter what, you’d always be his.

life wasn’t perfect, but it was good. and with this unusual, yet wonderful group of hybrids and humans by your side, you knew things were only going to get better from here.

for months, things had gone smoothly, with the group settling into a routine that felt almost natural. but there was something you'd started to notice. jake had already gone through his heat cycle once, and when that happened, he was handled by the center—given a space for it to pass until he could return home. you’d expected sunghoon to experience the same at some point, but strangely enough, there hadn’t been any signs. nothing at all.

it wasn’t like you were eager for him to go through something as intense as a heat cycle, but the fact that it hadn’t happened yet made you curious. maybe even a little concerned. so, one day while lounging on the couch, your laptop balanced on your knees, and jay typing away beside you, you decided to ask.

“sunghoon?” you started, glancing over at him as he sat near the window, flipping through a book but clearly lost in thought. he looked up at you, his soft eyes locking onto yours.

“yeah?” he replied, his voice quiet, as usual.

you hesitated for a moment, trying to phrase your question carefully. “do rabbits go into heat? i mean, i know hybrids do, but… well, you haven’t shown any signs.”

jay, sitting beside you, stopped typing for a moment, his interest clearly piqued by the question. he glanced over at sunghoon too, raising an eyebrow as if wondering the same thing.

sunghoon’s expression changed slightly. he looked a little flustered, his cheeks tinging with pink as he shifted in his seat. “uh… yeah, we do,” he mumbled, glancing away from your curious stare. “it’s just… different.”

you tilted your head, curiosity deepening. “different how?”

sunghoon fidgeted slightly, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of red as he avoided your gaze. “well… rabbit hybrids do go into heat, but it’s different. it’s… uh, more intense when it happens.”

you glanced over at him, watching the way he shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. there was something about the way he looked so flustered that made your stomach twist—something you weren’t sure you should be noticing. you leaned in slightly, sensing that there was more to this than he was letting on. “what do you mean by intense?”

sunghoon swallowed hard, his voice quiet but steady. “once we hit a certain age... around a year old, we can mate more frequently. like, every few days.” he hesitated, fingers tightening on the book he was clutching. “for some of us, after that, it’s common to want to mate with multiple partners in a short period—like, four to six in a week.”

“holy shit, in a week?” jay’s voice cut through the growing tension, his eyes wide in disbelief as he leaned forward in his chair. “four to six? that’s insane.”

sunghoon’s face flushed even darker, clearly uncomfortable, but he nodded. “yeah... it’s a lot.”

you could feel the air thickening around you, the weight of sunghoon’s words making your pulse quicken. four to six times in a week?

your mouth went dry at the thought, heat rising in your chest as you struggled to shake the mental image. “so... what happens when it hits?”

sunghoon hesitated again, clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, but he forced himself to continue. “it’s... it’s hard to control. when it happens, it’s like this overwhelming need. most rabbit hybrids, they... they mate with multiple partners to deal with it. but...” he trailed off, biting his lip as he glanced at you briefly, before quickly looking away again. “but i don’t want that.”

“you don’t?” you asked, voice soft, the heat between you almost palpable. you didn’t miss the way he kept avoiding your gaze, his body rigid with tension.

sunghoon shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “no. i don’t want anyone else. just... one person.”

your breath caught in your throat, your pulse racing as the weight of his words sank in. just one person. it didn’t take much to realize who that one person was. your heart pounded in your chest, the realization hitting you hard. the air around you felt thick, heavy, and suddenly you couldn’t look away from him, the quiet intensity in his voice making it impossible to ignore.

jay, sensing the shift in the room, raised an eyebrow and glanced between the two of you, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “so you’re saying, when you go into heat, you’d only want to be with y/n?”

sunghoon’s eyes met yours for a brief moment before he looked away again, his voice barely a whisper. “yeah.”

the heat between you intensified, and you felt your face flush as your mind raced. this was more than you were expecting, more than you could even process in that moment. but the way sunghoon was looking at you—the quiet, almost desperate need in his voice—it made your heart race. this wasn’t just about instinct. it was about something deeper, something raw and undeniable.

jay let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “damn, man…. and you’ve been dealing with this all on your own?”

sunghoon nodded, his face still flushed. “i didn’t want to make things weird. i didn’t want to... push anything on her.”

you swallowed hard, your mouth dry as the tension between you grew thicker. he’d been holding back all this time, dealing with it on his own? “so... when you’ve gone into heat, you’ve just been... handling it yourself?”

sunghoon’s eyes flickered with something dark, something raw, and for the first time, his voice wavered as he answered. “yeah. i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and i don’t want to... hurt you.”

jay raised an eyebrow at sunghoon’s tone, clearly noticing the shift as much as you had. “hurt her? what do you mean?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, his knuckles white as he gripped the edge of the blanket. “if i... if i let go during heat, i wouldn’t be able to hold back. it would be too much. i would be too much.”

your breath hitched at his words, your heart racing. too much?

 the tension in the room was thick, almost suffocating now, and you could feel the intensity in sunghoon’s gaze as he finally looked at you, something dangerous flickering behind his eyes.

“sunghoon,” you whispered, barely able to form the words, “what do you mean by too much?”

he hesitated, his eyes darting between you and jay, before he finally spoke. “i could wreck you.”

the words hung heavy in the air, and the second they left his mouth, jay’s eyes widened in shock. “whoa, man,” he muttered, sitting up straighter in his chair, clearly caught off guard by the sudden change in tone. “that’s... i did not expect this conversation to get to this point.”

you felt a shiver run down your spine, your body reacting to the sheer weight of sunghoon’s words.

wreck you.

the thought sent a wave of heat through you, making your pulse quicken. there was no denying it now—the tension, the attraction, the raw need in sunghoon’s voice.

jay let out a nervous laugh, trying to ease the tension. “shit, man, you’re not holding back, are you?”

sunghoon shook his head, his gaze steady, his voice low and serious. “i’m not trying to scare you,” he said, his eyes locking onto yours again, “but when it hits, it’s like nothing else and i don’t think i could stop once i start.”

your heart pounded in your chest, your mind racing as you processed everything he was saying. the way he was talking, the way he looked at you—it wasn’t just desire, it was something primal, something instinctual. and the fact that he’d been holding this back for so long, just for your sake...

sunghoon sighed shakily, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. “sorry, y/n,” he muttered, his voice low and hoarse. “i think i’m gonna go hang with jake for a bit.” the way he said it felt like he was pulling away, trying to create some distance between the two of you after laying so much out in the open.

you watched him, the intensity of what he’d just said still lingering in the room. wreck you.

his words played on repeat in your mind, sending a hot rush through your body that you couldn’t shake.

jay cleared his throat, his eyes still wide, processing what sunghoon had just said. “yeah, uh… good call, man,” he muttered, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “maybe… maybe that’s a good idea.”

sunghoon stood up slowly, the blanket still wrapped around him, and you could see the way his shoulders were tense, the weight of everything he’d just admitted bearing down on him. he shot you one last look before walking out, leaving the room feeling emptier than before.

for a moment, the silence between you and jay stretched out, thick and awkward. you were still trying to process everything that had just happened, your mind racing in a thousand different directions.

“well… that escalated quickly,” jay said, finally breaking the silence with a nervous chuckle, glancing at you with wide eyes. “i didn’t see that coming.”

you decided to ignore jay’s comment and quietly made your way to the kitchen, your mind still reeling from the conversation with sunghoon. the tension hadn’t left your body; it simmered just under your skin, his words—wreck you—echoing in your mind, over and over again, sending a hot, embarrassing pulse through your veins. fuck, why was this affecting you so much? it wasn’t like sunghoon hadn’t been close before, but now… this? there was no denying it anymore. the air between you had shifted in a way you couldn’t shake.

you gripped the edge of the counter, trying to steady your breath, but the thoughts kept coming—sunghoon’s quiet, steady voice, the intensity in his eyes, the way his words made you feel like something deep inside you had been set on fire. he could wreck you. the thought sent another heat wave rushing through you, making you feel unsteady. was it wrong that you were even thinking about it? you knew it had been because he had no one but you before. when you found him, he was so broken, so timid. he clung to you out of necessity, and at first, you didn’t really think he meant anything by it. he needed comfort, a sense of safety, and you were that for him. it was natural, given everything he’d been through. so when he started saying things, dropping little hints about wanting more, you chalked it up to attachment. a need for connection.

but now... now it felt different. he could wreck you. the way he said it, the intensity in his eyes—it didn’t feel like some desperate plea for affection. it felt real, like something he’d been holding back, something he was barely managing to control.

you didn’t really think he meant what he said back then before when you had just found out he was a hybrid. when he said he wanted more with you. not at first. not when he had no one but you. how could he know what he wanted? you were just the one who saved him, right? but the more you thought about it, the more you realized that maybe... maybe he did mean it. and maybe he had for a while.

the sound of footsteps pulled you from your spiraling thoughts, and without turning, you knew it was jay. of course it was jay. you could feel the weight of his presence as he stopped in the doorway, and you knew he wasn’t going to let this go.

“so you’re just gonna ignore me, huh?” he teased, but his tone was serious enough to let you know he was pressing the issue.

you let out a breath and glanced over your shoulder. “what’s up, jay?” you asked, pretending like you didn’t know where this was headed.

jay glanced around the kitchen, making sure no one else was nearby, before stepping in closer. his smirk was familiar, the one that always said he knew more than he let on. “we gotta talk about sunghoon,” he said, leaning against the counter.

your stomach tightened at the mention of sunghoon, the tension immediately returning. you hadn’t expected that. “what about him?” you asked, trying to sound casual, but your voice came out more clipped than you intended.

jay chuckled softly, crossing his arms. “come on, y/n. don’t play dumb with me. he basically just told you he wants to fuck your brains out, and you’re acting like it’s nothing?”

your heart skipped a beat at jay’s blunt words, and your pulse quickened. fuck, why did he have to be so direct? you shifted uncomfortably, pretending to focus on the glass of water in your hands, but the tension between you and sunghoon had been undeniable for weeks now. you’d chalked it up to his past, to him just being attached after you gave him a home, but now… this?

“he’s just… attached,” you said, though even you could hear how weak the words sounded. “you know, after everything he’s been through.”

jay rolled his eyes, clearly not buying any of it. “bullshit,” he said bluntly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “y/n, come on. he’s into you. and not in some cute, innocent way. he wants you.”

you swallowed hard, feeling the heat rise up your neck. you couldn’t deny it anymore. the way sunghoon had been acting around you—the lingering touches, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room. and fuck if it wasn’t making you think things you hadn’t allowed yourself to think before.

“i... i don’t know,” you muttered, your voice weak as you avoided jay’s gaze. “he’s never really said anything.”

jay snorted, leaning in a little closer. “he doesn’t have to say it. the guy’s practically panting around you. it’s written all over his face. and don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way he touches you, the way he looks at you. he’s possessive as fuck.”

your face flushed at jay’s words, your body reacting in ways you weren’t proud of. “he’s just protective,” you said defensively, though even you weren’t convinced by your own argument.

jay raised an eyebrow. “protective? sure, but it’s more than that. he’s jealous. and i’m pretty damn sure he’d be all over you if you gave him the chance.”

your breath caught in your throat, the thought sending a jolt of heat through you. would he really? the idea of sunghoon, usually so soft and shy, being possessive, intense—fuck, it was hard to ignore how much that stirred something inside you. something you didn’t want to admit. a nervous laugh escaped your lips, though it didn’t do much to ease the tension. “you’re really going there, huh?”

jay leaned back, his smirk widening as he watched your reaction. “oh, i’m going there. and let’s be real, does he make you wet?”

“what the fuck, jay?” you shot back, though the heat in your voice betrayed how flustered you actually were. “are you seriously asking me that?”

jay shrugged, completely unfazed. “just saying what everyone’s thinking. it’s clear as day he’s into you. and honestly, it’s not that weird.”

you blinked at him, thrown off by his sudden change of tone. “what do you mean it’s not weird?”

jay gave you a look like you’d just said something insane. “are you serious? y/n, people literally choose hybrids for this exact reason. companionship, partnership… whatever you want to call it. hell, some women prefer hybrids because of how loyal they are, how connected they feel. it’s not some taboo thing.”

“wait... really?” you asked, your voice soft, genuinely surprised.

jay nodded, looking almost amused by your surprise. “yeah. i mean, i’m not into jungwon or jake or anything,” he added quickly, shooting you a look, “but it’s normal. hybrids aren’t pets, y/n. they’re... like us. emotionally, physically. some people prefer it.”

you stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. “but... isn’t it still a little strange? i mean, sunghoon... he’s still him. and we’re...”

“and you’re human? sure,” jay said, cutting you off. “but that doesn’t change the fact that sunghoon’s got feelings for you. real feelings. and judging by the way you’ve been reacting, i’d say you’ve been thinking about it too.”

your heart pounded as you stared down at the glass in your hands, his words hitting way too close to home. the truth was, you had been thinking about it. more than you wanted to admit. the way sunghoon looked at you, the way he touched you, the quiet intensity behind his gaze—it was hard to ignore.

you shot jay a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“a little,” jay admitted with a grin. “but mostly, i just want you to realize it’s not weird. it’s not some scandal. it’s just life. hybrids are loyal as hell, and you don’t have to worry about them running off with someone else.”

you bit your lip, feeling conflicted, but his words were sinking in. maybe it wasn’t weird. maybe it was just... something you hadn’t allowed yourself to think about before.

“so... you promise you really don’t think it’s weird?” you asked again, your voice softer now, still needing reassurance.

jay chuckled, softer this time. “not even a little. if anything, it’s kinda sweet. sunghoon cares about you. a lot. and you’ve been dry for months, y/n. don’t lie.”

“fuck you,” you muttered, still grinning, raising the glass of water to your lips as if it would cool the heat that had been building inside you. the conversation with jay was doing something to you, something you weren’t ready to admit out loud. but then, jay had to go and ruin it, like always.

“damn, jake wouldn’t be happy if you and sunghoon end up fucking,” he said, his tone way too casual for the bomb he just dropped.

you nearly choked, coughing into your glass, your throat burning. “what?”

jay leaned back against the counter, looking far too pleased with himself, arms crossed like he had all the time in the world. “you remember when jake went into heat?”

you frowned, your brain trying to catch up with where this conversation was going. “yeah, how could i forget? he wouldn’t leave me alone, and we had to take him to the center to calm down.”

jay’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and there was something in his tone that made your stomach twist in anticipation. “yeah, about that. there’s something you didn’t know.”

your heart skipped a beat, nervous curiosity flaring up. what now?

 “what are you talking about?”

jay chuckled, the sound conspiratorial, like he was letting you in on some big secret. “when we took him to the center, they tried to get him to mate with other hybrids, you know, to ease his heat. standard procedure.”

“okay... and?” you prompted, feeling a strange knot forming in your stomach.

jay’s grin widened. “and jake refused.”

your eyes widened in shock. “what do you mean refused?”

“he wouldn’t go near any of the other hybrids,” jay continued, enjoying every second of your reaction. “they brought in a few different options, but he didn’t want any of them. he only wanted you.”

your breath hitched, your heart pounding in your chest as the weight of his words sank in. “wait, what? are you serious?”

jay nodded, his grin still plastered on his face. “yep. they tried everything. he was fixated on you. wouldn’t even consider mating with anyone else. so they had to let his heat pass naturally.”

you stared at him, the memory of jake’s heat flashing in your mind. the way he had followed you around, the way his touch lingered just a little too long, the heat in his eyes whenever he looked at you. “but... why didn’t anyone tell me?”

jay shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “probably didn’t want to freak you out. figured it was easier to just let it pass without making it a whole thing.”

you swallowed hard, your mind spinning. jake wanted you? the thought was almost too much to process. and yet, it made sense—the way he’d been around you, so close, so needy. “so... jake was basically...”

“into you,” jay finished for you, his smirk widening. “yeah, pretty much. that’s why he was all over you. his instincts were screaming that you were the one he wanted.”

your face flushed, the heat from earlier now rushing back tenfold, settling low in your belly as you tried to process what jay was telling you. “but we took him to the center,” you mumbled, your voice weaker than you intended.

“doesn’t change the fact that jake’s feelings didn’t just disappear,” jay pointed out, completely unfazed. “they’re still there. sure, he’s not as obvious as sunghoon, but trust me, the guy’s got it bad for you.”

you stood there, your mind reeling, feeling like everything had shifted all over again. jake and sunghoon? the thought of both of them wanting you like that sent a shiver down your spine.

“what if this screws up their friendship?” you blurted out, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

jay raised an eyebrow, his smirk softening slightly. “honestly? i think they’d work it out. they’re close, but hybrids are wired differently. when it comes to someone they want, they just figure shit out.”

“figure shit out?” you repeated, feeling a little out of your depth.

“yeah,” jay said, his tone more serious now. “look, sunghoon’s possessive as hell, but he’s not blind. he knows jake’s into you. hell, they probably both know.”

your mind flashed to the way sunghoon had looked at you earlier, the intensity in his gaze when he said he could wreck you.

jay leaned forward, his voice dropping slightly. “and you? how do you feel about all of this?”

you hesitated, biting your lip as you tried to sort through your swirling emotions. how did you feel?

you weren’t sure. the heat in the air was overwhelming, and the idea that both sunghoon and jake had been harboring these feelings for you... it made your heart race in a way you hadn’t expected. but there was something else too—a desire you hadn’t wanted to admit. you wanted them.

“fuck, jay... this is a lot,” you finally said, running a hand through your hair, feeling your skin flush under his gaze.

jay just smirked. “yeah, but it’s not like you haven’t been thinking about it, right? you’d be lying if you said you weren’t tempted.”

your silence said everything he needed to know.

“thought so,” he said, grinning as he pushed off the counter. “well, good luck with all that. i’m sure you’ll figure it out. just... try not to let it get too weird, alright?”

you shot him a look, but deep down, you knew he was right. you had been thinking about it, and now, you couldn’t stop.

sunghoon stepped into the living room, still feeling the weight of his confession with you pressing down on him like a boulder. the tension in his chest hadn’t loosened—it only tightened the longer he replayed the conversation in his head. jake, lounging on the couch with one arm thrown lazily over the back, perked up the moment he noticed sunghoon’s mood.

“hey,” jake greeted, though there was an underlying curiosity in his voice that didn’t match his casual tone.

sunghoon gave a small nod and sat down at the other end of the couch, leaving a noticeable distance between them. the silence was thick, the kind that hung in the air before something heavy dropped.

after a beat, jake leaned back, giving sunghoon a knowing smirk. “so... you gonna tell me what happened, or are you just gonna sit there sulking?”

sunghoon let out a deep breath, rubbing his face with his hands. “fuck, man. it’s the heat. it’s messing with my head.”

jake straightened up slightly, his expression sharpening. “so... you told her?”

"told her that i'd wreck her if i lost control." sunghoon’s voice was hoarse, and jake’s eyes widened slightly before a laugh broke through his lips.

"you really said that?"

"yeah. not exactly my smoothest moment."

jake chuckled but kept his eyes on sunghoon. "so how'd she take it?"

sunghoon leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. "she didn’t freak out... but it was awkward. i’ve tried to tell her about the heat before, but i always chickened out. this time... i couldn’t hold back, but it was only because she was the one who asked about it."

he let out another sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as if trying to release the pressure. “and then fucking jay had to ask me if i only wanted her. like, what the hell was i supposed to say? i wasn’t gonna fucking lie about it.”

jake nodded, the smirk fading into something more thoughtful. “and you didn’t, huh?”

sunghoon shook his head, his voice quieter now. “nah, i told him. told him it’s only her. that’s it.”

jake smirked, nudging sunghoon’s leg with his foot. “so what now? you gonna keep holding out or are you finally gonna do something?”

sunghoon looked at jake, his gaze steady. "i’m not just gonna lose control and ruin things. but you already know that."

jake leaned back with a shrug. “sure, man. i get that. but you’re not the only one struggling with it.”

sunghoon’s eyes flicked to jake, narrowing slightly. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

jake’s smirk widened, but his tone remained casual. “you know exactly what it means.”

sunghoon let out a frustrated breath, already knowing where this was headed. “i know who you were calling for during your heat, jake. you weren’t subtle.”

jake’s smirk faltered for a split second before he shrugged it off. “yeah, well, instincts are a bitch, aren’t they?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened. “so you’re into her too?”

jake didn’t even bother denying it. “i mean, come on. who wouldn’t be? but I know you, man. you’re not the sharing type.”

sunghoon’s lips curled into a bitter smile, his possessiveness radiating off him. “damn right. i’m not sharing.”

jake chuckled softly, leaning back against the couch, his tone playful but edged with something deeper. “you’re not mad?”

sunghoon let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair, trying to push down the possessiveness clawing its way to the surface. “mad? nah. i already knew. i’ve seen the way you look at her.”

jake’s smirk faded slightly, his eyes locking with sunghoon’s. “doesn’t bother you?”

“of course it fucking bothers me,” sunghoon snapped, but his voice was quieter than before, almost resigned. “but i trust her. and i know where i stand. i’m just not about to let anyone else get in the way.”

jake’s eyes gleamed with something unreadable, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “look, man. i’m not looking to steal her. i respect what you have with her. but you gotta admit... it’s hard not to feel something when she’s around.”

sunghoon’s voice came out low, barely controlled, his fists clenched tight. “jake, can you shut the fuck up?”

jake’s eyes flicked up to meet sunghoon’s, the smirk fading slightly but not completely gone. “just being honest, man. you know I don’t sugarcoat shit. we’ve been living under the same roof, and you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way she affects people.”

sunghoon leaned forward, his gaze hard, his voice tight with barely contained anger. “she’s mine. don’t fucking forget that.”

jake raised his hands in mock surrender, the gleam in his eyes still unreadable. “hey, I’m not saying she’s not. but you’ve gotta understand... she’s not just some girl, man. she’s special, and you’re not the only one who sees it.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his pulse racing. “i don’t care who else sees it. they’re not me.”

jake chuckled softly, shaking his head. “you’re right. they’re not. but if you’re so sure about her, you need to stop holding back. ‘cause right now, man... you’re acting like she’s already slipped through your fingers.”

sunghoon stood up, his fists still balled at his sides. “she’s not slipping through anything. stay out of it.”

jake stood up, stretching his arms lazily. “look, man, I’m just saying. she’s not gonna wait forever. if you want her, make a move. don’t let someone else do it first.”

sunghoon stayed quiet, his jaw tight, knowing full well jake was telling the truth.

“besides,” jake added with a playful smirk, “you know I wouldn’t swoop in... unless you wanted to share.”

sunghoon shot him a warning look, his possessiveness flaring again. "not a fucking chance."

jake grinned, throwing up his hands. "just making sure we’re clear, man."

sunghoon shot him one last glare before turning and walking out of the room, his chest tight with frustration, anger, and something else he couldn’t quite place.

as he left, jake let out a long breath, shaking his head, mumbling to himself, “damn, man. you’ve got it bad.”

just as jake settled back onto the couch, jungwon stepped into the room, his movements fluid and cat-like. he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

"so," jungwon drawled, clearly enjoying the tension in the air. "that was... intense."

jake looked up, raising an eyebrow. "how long have you been standing there?"

jungwon shrugged, the smirk growing as he pushed off the doorframe and sauntered into the room. "long enough. heard the whole thing."

jake let out a soft chuckle. "of course you did."

jungwon plopped down on the couch next to jake, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "sunghoon’s really wound up, huh? poor guy’s practically vibrating with jealousy."

"yeah, well, it’s his own damn fault for holding back," jake muttered, leaning his head back. "i told him, she’s not gonna wait forever."

jungwon’s smirk deepened as he looked at jake, his voice a little too knowing. “and what about you, huh? can you really stop yourself from swooping in if he doesn’t?”

jake gave a lazy grin, his eyes glinting with mischief. “not unless he gives the green light, you know? but... can't say I wouldn’t be tempted.”

jungwon laughed softly, shaking his head. “you're both idiots, honestly. she’s got both of you wrapped around her finger, and she probably doesn’t even realize it.”

jake let out a dramatic sigh, running a hand through his hair. “tell me about it. but hey, sunghoon’s gotta get his shit together first. the guy’s ready to explode.”

jungwon’s smirk returned as he stretched out on the couch, clearly amused by the conversation. "yeah, well, maybe she’ll surprise us all and pick neither."

the next day, an ache settled in your chest the moment you opened your eyes. the empty space beside you felt colder than usual. sunghoon wasn’t there, his warmth missing from the bed, and it hit you harder than you expected. every morning, you’d gotten used to waking up next to him, his soft fur brushing against your skin, his small body curled up close like he always needed to be near you.

last night, you’d waited for him, hoping he’d eventually come back to you, to snuggle up in that comforting way he always did, but he never arrived. the silence in the room was almost deafening, and the absence of his presence only made that ache in your heart grow stronger.

you rolled over, staring at the spot where he should’ve been, your fingers brushing the empty sheets. it was strange—how quickly you had become accustomed to him being there, his warmth, his soft breathing beside you. and now, without him, the bed felt too big, too empty.

you sighed, sitting up, running a hand through your hair as the memory of yesterday replayed in your mind. he’s pulling away, you thought, the weight of his words still lingering. maybe it was because of what he’d said, or maybe it was because you hadn’t known how to respond, how to face the truth of what he wanted. maybe it was both.

the room felt emptier without him.

“sunghoon?” you called out, your voice soft but edged with worry as you stepped out of your room. the apartment felt unusually quiet, except for the faint sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen.

as you made your way toward the kitchen, the sight before you stopped you in your tracks. there was jay, casually making breakfast like it was any other morning, his back to you as he flipped something on the stove. but what really caught your attention was the small, curled-up forms lying on the couch.

there was sunghoon, in his rabbit form, tucked into a small ball, his soft fur rising and falling with each breath. nestled right beside him was jungwon, in his cat form, his tail draped lazily over sunghoon’s back as they slept next to each other. they looked peaceful, their bodies close, like they had found comfort in each other during the night.

you felt a twinge of something—maybe jealousy, maybe sadness—because sunghoon hadn’t come to you. instead, he was here, curled up with jungwon, far away from the warmth of your bed.

“morning,” jay’s voice broke through your thoughts, turning around with a spatula in hand. “didn’t expect you up this early.”

you blinked, pulling your gaze away from the two hybrids on the couch. “yeah... i, uh, couldn’t sleep much.”

jay raised an eyebrow, giving you a knowing look as he leaned against the counter. “noticed sunghoon’s not with you, huh?”

you nodded, biting your lip, unsure of what to say. it felt strange, seeing him like that—choosing to sleep away from you after everything that had happened. the ache in your chest hadn’t subsided, and the sight of him so close to jungwon made it worse.

jay watched you for a moment, his gaze flickering from the hybrids on the couch back to you. "they crashed there after we talked last night," he said, his voice softer than usual. "figured they needed some space."

you nodded, staring at sunghoon, his small, peaceful form curled up beside jungwon. "i thought he’d come to bed," you murmured, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

jay gave you a sympathetic look, flipping the eggs on the pan. "he’s probably just trying to figure things out. give him some time."

you sighed, feeling the weight of everything from the day before press down on you again. "i know... it’s just, i’m used to him being there. and now—"

jay cut you off with a small laugh, glancing at the couch. "i think jungwon’s been keeping him company. those two have gotten pretty close, huh?"

you couldn’t help but smile a little, despite the ache still lingering in your chest. "yeah... i guess they have."

there was a comfortable silence for a moment as you watched sunghoon and jungwon sleep, their forms rising and falling in sync. but the sight also stirred something inside you, a reminder that the closeness you shared with sunghoon was shifting. everything was changing.

"hey," jay said suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. "why don’t you sit down, have breakfast. give them some time to wake up. maybe you and sunghoon can talk after." he gave you a reassuring smile, motioning to the chair across from him.

you hesitated, glancing back at sunghoon. his soft breathing, the way he was curled up so tightly next to jungwon, made you feel conflicted. but you knew jay was right. space might be what sunghoon needed—what both of you needed.

“yeah... okay,” you said softly, moving to sit down at the table. the sound of the spatula hitting the pan filled the air, a quiet distraction from the turmoil in your chest.

but as you sat there, your mind kept drifting back to sunghoon. what if this distance becomes permanent? you wondered. the thought scared you more than you were willing to admit.

just as you settled into your seat, trying to make sense of the swirling thoughts in your head, the quiet of the morning was suddenly interrupted by the door swinging open with a loud thud. jake, in all his usual energetic glory, burst into the room, his presence a stark contrast to the peaceful atmosphere that had lingered just moments before.

“morning!” jake called out, his voice booming as he strolled in, practically vibrating with energy. he stopped short when he saw you and jay at the table, his wide grin softening a bit when he noticed the serious air between you.

“whoa, what’s with the mood?” he asked, his eyes flicking between you, jay, and the hybrids still curled up on the couch. his gaze lingered on sunghoon for a second longer before he turned back to you.

jay chuckled softly, flipping the last of the eggs onto a plate. “just another morning, man. you’re the one coming in like a damn hurricane.”

jake shrugged, clearly unfazed. “well, someone’s gotta keep things lively around here.”

but as he walked toward the kitchen, his usual grin faltered when he glanced over at you. he had picked up on the tension, and something in the way his eyes narrowed told you he knew more than he was letting on.

“so...” jake started, sliding into the chair next to you, leaning back casually but with a glint of curiosity in his eyes. “everything good with you and sunghoon?”

you felt jay watching you carefully from the stove, but you kept your gaze on jake, trying to find the right words. “yeah, i mean... i think we’re both just... figuring things out.”

jake nodded, though his smirk never fully faded. “figuring things out, huh? well, i hope it’s nothing too serious. he was pretty worked up when i talked to him last night.” he leaned forward slightly, his voice dropping just enough that only you and jay could hear. “you know how he gets.”

the subtle reminder of sunghoon’s possessiveness sent a jolt through you, and you couldn’t help but think back to yesterday’s conversation. the heat in his voice, the way his eyes had darkened when he said he could wreck you. you swallowed hard, feeling a familiar tension building again.

jay, sensing the shift, broke in with a lighthearted tone. “jake, you’re gonna scare her off with that talk.”

jake grinned wide, flashing a playful wink at you. “what? me? nah. i’m just looking out for my buddy.” his grin softened a little, and his voice dropped lower, more serious. “but seriously, y/n, you’re good, right?”

you nodded, though the question stirred something deeper. “yeah, i’m fine. just... fine.”

jake tilted his head slightly, watching you for a beat longer before turning to jay. “well, whatever’s going on, i’m sure it’ll work itself out. can’t have our house all moody. it’s bad for the vibe.”

jay snorted, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of you. “yeah, because you’re all about vibes, right?”

jake shot him a grin. “you know it.”

but beneath the playful banter, there was a tension that hung in the air. you could feel it, and you knew jake could too. sunghoon and jake had always been close, but there was something unspoken between them—something that had shifted recently.

as you sat at the table, picking at your breakfast, the soft sounds of stirring from the couch caught your attention. jungwon and sunghoon were beginning to wake, shifting in their animal forms, still curled up next to each other. you glanced over just as sunghoon’s eyes fluttered open, his soft, sleepy gaze immediately finding yours.

the moment he laid his eyes on you, his little ears drooped slightly, and you couldn’t help but feel that familiar ache in your chest. his small, delicate form looked even more vulnerable like this, and for a second, all the tension from yesterday faded, replaced by the instinctual urge to comfort him.

jungwon stretched lazily beside him, his tail swishing slowly as he blinked awake, but sunghoon kept his eyes on you, ears still low as if unsure of where things stood after everything.

jay noticed and gave a quiet chuckle. “looks like they’re finally up.”

you nodded absently, but your focus was still on sunghoon. he seemed hesitant, like he didn’t know if he should come over or stay curled up on the couch. you saw the conflict in his eyes, and it tugged at your heart.

without thinking, you reached out, patting the space next to you on the chair. “come here, sunghoon,” you said softly, your voice filled with warmth.

for a moment, he hesitated, his ears twitching slightly as he considered whether to move. but then, slowly, he uncurled from his little ball, hopping down from the couch and making his way toward you. his fur looked even softer in the morning light, and as he came closer, you could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

when he reached you, you picked him up gently, placing him on your lap. his small body pressed against yours, and he snuggled close, like he always did, but this time it felt different—he felt different. the weight of what he had confessed to you hung between you, but neither of you spoke about it.

you stroked his soft fur, feeling his small heartbeat against your hand, and after a moment, his ears perked up slightly. though he still looked at you with those wide, vulnerable eyes, the tension in his body seemed to melt away just a little.

jay leaned back in his chair, watching the interaction with a faint smile. “guess he missed you.”

“yeah...” you murmured, your fingers gently brushing through sunghoon’s fur. you could feel him relax against you, his small form melting into your lap as if he had been waiting for this all along.

jungwon stretched again on the couch, letting out a small yawn as he lazily watched the two of you, his tail swishing back and forth as if completely content with how the morning was unfolding. jake, on the other hand, was busy stuffing his face, but every now and then, you caught him glancing over, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips.

“wanna talk?” you asked sweetly, your voice soft as you looked down at sunghoon in your lap, his ears perking up slightly at the sound of your voice. his eyes flickered with uncertainty, but he gave you a small nod in response, shuffling a bit as if preparing to hop away toward your room.

but before he could move, you scooped him up gently, cradling his soft, warm body in your arms. “hey,” you smiled, “i can carry you.”

sunghoon looked up at you with those wide, expressive eyes, his little nose twitching as if he wasn’t used to being carried around like this anymore, but he didn’t protest. instead, he leaned into you, nuzzling into your chest, his ears pressing back as he settled into your embrace.

you felt your heart swell at the closeness, and as you made your way to your room, you couldn’t help but notice how different it felt now. before, it was just sunghoon being his shy, quiet self—but after everything that had been said, there was something heavier lingering between the two of you, unspoken but very much there.

when you reached your room, you gently placed him down on the bed, his small form looking even more delicate in the soft light filtering through the curtains. he sat there, his ears twitching slightly as he watched you with those deep, thoughtful eyes.

you settled down beside him, your hand brushing softly through his fur. “so… what’s on your mind?” you asked quietly, hoping to coax him into opening up.

he gives your hand a quick nudge with his nose, then hopping off the bed before  he shifted in an instant, leaving him completely naked in front of you, just as it always did when he transformed. your eyes instinctively darted downward, catching a glimpse of his... thing before you quickly looked away, heat flooding your cheeks. the sight made you bite your lip, the sudden surge of emotions and tension catching you off guard. you could feel the heat rising in your face, embarrassment mixing with something far more dangerous.

you immediately jump off the bed straightening up as you stood there stiff, avoiding his gaze at all costs, nervous, horny, god this was more intense than you had ever expected. but then his voice cut through the thick air between you, low and commanding. “look at me.”

a shiver ran down your spine at the tone, sending your heart racing even faster. you hesitated, your body still tense and flustered from the overwhelming intimacy of the moment. slowly, you lifted your gaze, forcing yourself to meet his eyes, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach.

sunghoon didn’t look away. his gaze stayed locked on yours, dark and intense, filled with something that made it impossible for you to turn away. the way he stood there, so confident, so exposed, left you feeling more vulnerable than ever.

“please, don’t look away,” he repeated, his voice softer now but still firm, a quiet demand for your attention.

“sunghoon…” you whispered, your voice barely steady, but the tension in the room was so thick it felt like it might suffocate you. you could feel the heat radiating off him as he stepped closer, the small gap between you shrinking to almost nothing. his hand reached out, gently brushing against your cheek, and the touch sent a shock of warmth coursing through your body.

“why do you keep looking away?” his voice was softer now, almost pleading, but there was still that edge of intensity that made your heart race even faster. “i’m sorry i scared you, i never meant to. my feelings for you are real.”

but it wasn’t fear that made you look away—it was the overwhelming desire that was building inside you, the way your body reacted to him, the way every fiber of your being seemed to scream for more. and when your eyes flickered down again, this time lingering on his cock for just a moment too long, you felt a fresh wave of heat flush through you. your stomach flipped, embarrassment mixing with something far more dangerous.

his breath hitched slightly, and you could almost feel the tension spike between the two of you. he noticed where your eyes had gone, and the way his body reacted didn’t go unnoticed either. you could see the slight shift in his posture, his muscles tensing as if every nerve in his body was just as tightly wound as yours.

"please, don’t look away," he said again, his voice a little more vulnerable this time, but still firm, still commanding in a way that made it hard for you to do anything but obey.

you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet his gaze, though your eyes briefly flickered downward again, catching sight of the way his cock seemed to harden under your gaze. your throat felt dry, your body buzzing with the intensity of it all.

“i’m not afraid, sunghoon.” you finally managed to say, though even as the words left your mouth, you weren’t sure if they were entirely true. “i just… wasn’t expecting this.”

"i'm sorry, y/n," sunghoon whispered, his voice strained, as if it took everything in him to say the words. his eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and you could see the tension in his body, the way his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths. his heart was pounding, and you could feel it too—the raw energy between you, something more than just the closeness. it was intense, overwhelming, like a storm brewing beneath the surface, ready to break.

his body trembled slightly, and you knew it wasn’t just from nerves. it was his heat, the instinctual pull that had been building for so long. the way he stood there, vulnerable yet powerful, sent a shiver down your spine. he was trying to control himself, but you could see it in the way his fists clenched, the way his jaw tightened—he was barely holding on.

you took a shaky breath, feeling your own heart race as the weight of his words settled over you. you weren’t sure what to say, how to even begin to process the feelings that were stirring inside you. all you knew was that the air between you felt thick with something unspoken, something that had been building for months, maybe even longer.

“sunghoon…” your voice was soft, barely above a whisper, but it seemed to pull him back, his eyes opening slowly, dark with desire and frustration. he was so close now, his skin warm against yours, and you could feel the heat radiating off of him, see the way he was struggling to keep himself in check.

"fuck, i—" he cut himself off, his hand shaking slightly as it hovered just inches from your waist. "it’s too much. being this close to you, your scent, everything—i’m trying, but it’s really getting harder, y/n."

his confession made your breath hitch. you could feel the tension in the room shift, growing heavier, almost suffocating. his heat, his need—it was all too real, too intense, and it was pulling you in, making it harder for you to think clearly.

"you don’t have to apologize," you managed to say, though your voice was shaky. "i know it’s your heat, and i know you’re struggling."

his gaze darkened, and he stepped closer, his body inches from yours now. “i don’t want to hurt you, but... fuck, it’s getting so hard to hold back.”

his words sent a pulse of heat through your body, and you swallowed hard. you didn’t want him to hold back anymore. the thought made your stomach twist with both excitement and fear. you could feel the desire pooling in your belly, mixing with the overwhelming tension between you both.

"sunghoon..." you breathed out, your voice shaking with a mix of nerves and something darker, more intense. his grip on you was tight, almost frantic, like he was barely holding it together. you could feel it—the way he was fighting for control but slipping fast. your hands slid down his back, hesitant, until they found his soft, fluffy tail. you gave it a gentle squeeze, thinking it might calm him, offer some comfort. instead, it had the opposite effect.

sunghoon's breath stuttered when your fingers closed around his tail, his entire body tensing up as a deep, guttural sound rumbled from his chest. his forehead pressed against yours, his breath warm and ragged, eyes nearly black with desire. the softness of his tail against your hand only made things worse, not the comfort you’d hoped it would bring. instead, it was like you’d lit a match to gasoline.

“you don’t even know what you’re doing,” he rasped, his voice low and rough, teetering on the edge of losing control. his hands gripped your waist tighter, fingers digging into your skin, like he needed to hold on to something, anything, to keep himself from completely giving in. his usual cold exterior had cracked, and all you could see now was something raw and dangerous.

your heartbeat quickened, and your breath caught in your throat. “sunghoon, i—” but before you could finish, his lips brushed your ear, sending a wave of heat down your spine.

“please don’t fucking push me,” he warned, the words trembling in his mouth, like he was barely holding himself back. “i’m trying to be good. trying to be patient.”

the weight of his body against yours, the heat of his breath on your neck—it was too much, and you felt your legs wobble. you wanted to say something, anything, but the only thing you could focus on was the way his scent wrapped around you, thick and overwhelming, clouding your thoughts. your hand squeezed his tail again, this time intentionally, testing the reaction.

he let out a sharp breath, his hips jerking against you. his grip tightened to the point where it almost hurt, the tension between you crackling like a live wire.

“shit,” he groaned, his eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare. “you think this is a fucking joke?”

you stared up at him, breathless, your chest rising and falling rapidly. the look in his eyes—it was nothing like the sweet, patient sunghoon you thought you knew. that version of him was gone, completely stripped away. now, there was only raw, untamed hunger staring back at you, barely contained, like he was on the verge of snapping.

"what? no—i just—" you stammered, your voice shaky, trying to explain, but the words caught in your throat. "y/n, please." his voice was low, rough, almost pleading as his hands gripped you tightly, pushing you down onto the bed. before you could even react, he was on top of you, his body pressing into yours, overwhelming and heated. "i'm about to fucking lose it," he gasped, his breath ragged, chest heaving with each pant. sweat dripped down his forehead, his skin glistening under the dim light. you stared up at him, mesmerized, completely shocked at how beautiful he looked in that moment, how much he wanted you—how much he fucking loved you. you could feel it in every shiver that ran through his body, the way he was trembling, barely holding himself back.

you gently placed your finger on his lips, silently shushing him, your touch soft but firm. with your other hand, you carefully tucked away a few strands of hair that had stuck to his forehead, your eyes meeting his. he hovered over you, his pleading eyes wide, desperate, filled with so much love it made your heart race. the moment you touched him, he sucked in a sharp breath, swallowing thickly, his gaze never leaving yours. he looked at you like he was committing every detail to memory, the sight of you beneath him, the way you felt in his arms—it was everything to him. "baby..." the word slipped from your lips softly, and it hit him like a punch. it was the first time you'd called him that, and it showed. his whole expression shifted, eyes widening briefly before his entire body seemed to melt. his jaw went slack, lips parting slightly as he bit down on his bottom lip, trying to control himself. you could see the way it affected him, like hearing that one word from you broke whatever composure he had left. and just like that, no words were needed to show him how much you felt for him. the way your eyes softened when they met his, the way your body instinctively leaned into his touch—it all told him more than any confession ever could. he felt it too, how deeply you wanted him, how completely he filled that emptiness in your heart you hadn’t even realized was there until he entered your life. lying beneath him now, you couldn’t help but silently thank the universe, the gods—whoever was out there—for bringing him to you.

without thinking, you pulled him closer, letting him collapse on top of you. your arms wrapped around his neck, and as soon as your lips met his, a soft whimper escaped him. the sound made your stomach flip, sending a shiver through you. his moans grew louder as the kiss deepened, his body trembling against yours, finally letting go of every bit of restraint he had been holding onto for so long.

“y/n,” he gasped, his voice barely holding steady as he kissed you again, his lips crashing into yours with an urgency that made your head spin. his hips rocked against you, the friction between your bodies setting your skin on fire. it was too much—every touch, every sound, every sensation sent shockwaves through him, making him shake. he pressed himself harder against you, his cock throbbing, his movements growing more desperate, more erratic, until he couldn’t keep his eyes open, his brow furrowed with the effort of holding back.

“i love you,” he whispered, his voice cracking with the weight of it, like the words were the only truth he had left. “i love you so fucking much,” he murmured, his voice thick, raw, and it made your heart feel like it was going to explode. you arched your back into him, a soft moan slipping from your lips as his bare skin pressed against yours, hot and electric. his hands, shaking with urgency, fumbled at the waistband of your pajamas, desperately trying to pull them down, needing to feel you, to touch your skin.

but when you whispered, “i love you too,” everything stopped. his hands froze, his fingers curling into the fabric of your clothes, gripping it tightly as if he was afraid to let go. his breath hitched, and for a moment, he was completely still, his fists clutching the soft material like your words had knocked the wind out of him.

you swore you saw a tear slip from the corner of his eye as he squeezed them shut, his breath ragged and uneven. a low growl rumbled from his chest, but it wasn’t from lust. it was deeper than that—something raw, something vulnerable that made your heart clench. he buried his face against your chest, pressing his ear to your skin like the sound of your heartbeat was the only thing keeping him grounded.

the tension in his body slowly eased, his muscles softening as he melted into you. you could feel everything—how much this moment meant to him, how much you meant to him—with every shaky breath he took. he wasn’t just holding onto you; he was clinging to the sound of your heartbeat, the way it sped up under his ear, knowing it was all for him. and only him.

his voice cracked as he exhaled a shaky breath, “i… i can’t lose this, y/n.” his lips brushed your skin as he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “only me. only i can make you feel this... only i can make your heart beat like this.”

the desperation in his voice cut through you, a mixture of fear and possessiveness, like he was terrified you might slip away from him if he didn’t hold you close enough. his body trembled, overwhelmed with emotions—love, need, vulnerability—all laid bare for you.

you threaded your fingers through his hair, gently soothing him as you held him, feeling the weight of his emotions pressing down on both of you. the intensity of it all was almost too much to handle, but in that moment, there was nothing else in the world but the two of you. his ear stayed pressed to your chest, his breathing slowly evening out as he whispered, voice soft and pleading, “only me… please, only me.”

“only you, hoon,” you whispered, your voice soft but firm, the words sinking deep into him. his whole body seemed to shudder at the sound, a mixture of relief and overwhelming desire flooding through him. he lifted his head just enough to look at you, eyes glazed with emotion, and you could see the effect those three words had on him. it was like something snapped, like every last bit of restraint he’d been holding onto finally broke.

“fuck,” he breathed, his voice low, almost guttural, as his lips found yours again. the kiss was messy, desperate, all teeth and tongue as he poured everything into it. his hands, once hesitant, now tore at your clothes, yanking the fabric down with a need so raw it almost made you dizzy. his fingers brushed over your bare skin, sending a wave of heat through you as he moaned against your mouth, the sound deep and needy.

he pulled away just long enough to look at you, eyes dark with lust, panting heavily. “you have no fucking idea what you do to me,” he growled, his voice strained, like he was barely holding himself together. his hips ground against you again, harder this time, the friction almost too much as his hard cock rubbed against you through the thin layer of fabric left between you. “i can’t—fuck, i need you.”

his hands were shaking as they slid down your body, gripping your hips tightly, pulling you closer, almost like he couldn’t stand the space between you anymore. the desperation in his movements, the way he pressed himself against you, made you lose whatever sense of control you had left. your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him down to you, your legs wrapping around his waist to close the gap.

“take it off,” you gasped, breathless, your voice barely holding together as you tugged at your own clothes, desperate to feel him, all of him. “hoon, please.”

his hands shook as he helped you pull off the last bit of clothing, but instead of diving in, he paused, his breathing heavy, his eyes burning with something darker. “you think i haven’t been waiting for this?” he rasped, voice low, almost dangerous. his hands slid up your thighs, gripping tightly, like he was grounding himself. “you think i haven’t been losing my mind every time i look at you?”

he pressed closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke, his voice raw, filled with pent-up emotion. “every fucking heat, y/n… every goddamn time, i had to deal with it by myself. all i could do was think about you, your face, your body…” he growled, his hips grinding harder into you, and you could feel how much he’d been holding back.

“i would watch you sleep. i’d watch your angelic fucking face while i rubbed myself raw, one time after the other, just to make sure you never knew, so you’d never wake up and see me fucking losing it over you.”

your eyes widened in shock, every confession felt like a punch to the gut, your heart racing with the intensity of it. “sunghoon…” you managed to whisper, but he didn’t give you a chance to respond.

before you could say anything else, he was already moving, his lips traveling down your body, hands spreading your legs wide as he settled between them. he didn’t hesitate, didn’t hold back—his mouth latched onto your core with a desperation that took your breath away. his tongue was relentless, flicking against your clit then licking long and hasty on your slit.

his mouth felt hot, and it only made your pussy even wetter. lapping at you like he was starving, like every second of pent-up need was pouring out of him.

“fuck,” you gasped, your head falling back against the pillow, overwhelmed by the sensation. his hands gripped your thighs tight, keeping you in place, and his whimpers mixed with your moans, the wet sounds filling the air as he devoured you like his last meal.

his name fell from your lips in a broken moan, your hands gripping the sheets as he worked you over, your body trembling under his touch. it was too much, too intense, but you couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop the way your body reacted to him.

then, you felt it—his fingers, trembling slightly as they slid inside you, pushing in knuckle-deep without hesitation. he let out a low, broken moan against your core, his body visibly shuddering, like he was on the verge of breaking down completely. "fuck," he gasped, his voice shaky, almost like he was sobbing from the sheer feeling of finally having you like this. his fingers curled inside you, finding that spot that made your back arch off the bed, your hands fisting in his hair.

he didn’t let up for even a second, his fingers pumping into you with the same rhythm as his tongue as he continued to flick it against your swollen nub. his moans growing louder the more you trembled beneath him. “you taste so fucking good,” he groaned, voice muffled against your soaked folds as he pressed his face even closer, his body quivering with need. "i've needed this for so long," he mumbled between ragged breaths, his tongue flicking against your clit before sucking it into his mouth with an intensity that had you seeing stars.

his hips were grinding into the mattress as if he couldn’t control himself anymore, so lost in the moment, in you. each whimper that escaped him was desperate, needy, and his fingers moved faster, harder, hitting just the right spot as his mouth stayed locked onto you, the sounds of him sucking you were almost obscene.

“hoon—” you gasped, but your words were cut off by the sheer pleasure coursing through your body, your legs shaking around his head, barely able to handle the intensity. he didn’t stop, his pace never faltering, as if he was determined to make you come undone completely.

his fingers suddenly picked up speed, fucking into you so fast it left you breathless, your body trembling uncontrollably. the pressure built up inside you, growing impossibly tight until you couldn’t hold it back any longer. with a loud cry, your release hit, and you squirted all over him, your hips bucking as the sensation ripped through you.

sunghoon groaned loudly, his deep, guttural sound vibrating against your core. his tongue darted out, eagerly chasing after every drop, trying to drink you in. the way he moaned, practically worshipping your release, only made it more intense. he didn’t stop—his fingers kept plunging into you, relentless, determined, even as you were still shaking, riding out the aftershocks of your orgasm.

he growled, "fuck, you're so fucking perfect," his voice hoarse, almost desperate as he lapped at you, licking up everything you gave him, the wet sounds mixing with your breathless cries. he kept going, pushing you further and further until you were screaming, your body jerking beneath him.

“hoon—hoon, it’s too much,” you gasped, the pleasure becoming overwhelming, your legs trembling uncontrollably as he continued, his fingers still pumping in and out of you, tongue flicking messily at your sensitive clit. but he wasn’t stopping, not yet. he groaned again, so caught up in the moment, completely lost in you, savoring every second of watching you unravel under him.

his hands gripped your thighs tightly, holding you open as his tongue and fingers pushed you right to the brink again, his groans mixing with your desperate pleas.

"another one, please, holy fuck, you're gonna make me cum," he groaned, his voice low and breathless. you barely had time to process his words before your body was thrown into another wave of pleasure, his fingers working relentlessly, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

your eyes widened in disbelief for a moment, stunned by the sight of him—sunghoon, completely lost in it, his hips grinding into the mattress, his body jerking with every movement. and then it hit you: he was actually fucking coming undone just from eating you out. the realization had you thrashing beneath him, your hands gripping the sheets as your body shook.

“fuck,” you gasped, your mind reeling from the intensity of it all. sunghoon’s groans only fueled the heat between your legs, the way his lower body jerked as he came, his own release triggered by the sheer desperation of devouring you.

god, it was so fucking hot—the way he fell apart, his fingers never slowing down, driving you straight into your own release. "sunghoon," you whimpered, unable to hold back the moan as your body gave in.

"holy shit, did you actually cum just from eating me out?" you moaned weakly, still breathless, your body trembling from the aftershocks.

it was overwhelming—the sight of him, the raw desire in his eyes, his lips parted as he panted, his chest rising and falling heavily.

he looked up at you, completely wrecked, his lips curling into a faint, satisfied smirk despite the desperation still etched into his features. "fuck, sorry, i couldn’t help it," he rasped, voice hoarse and shaky. "you’re too fucking much… i can’t—" his breath hitched, his hands squeezing your thighs, holding you in place like he needed to steady himself.

"you drive me insane, y/n," he confessed, his voice a low growl, still dazed from his own release. "i don’t care what it takes... i’ll do anything to make you feel that good over and over again."

his fingers finally slowed, easing out of you, and the loss of his touch made you shiver. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, still completely stunned by the way he’d come undone for you, the way his body had betrayed him from nothing but the taste of you.

"fuck, hoon..." you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, completely overwhelmed. “you’re perfect.”

"no," he murmured against your soaked pussy, pressing soft kisses that trailed along your inner thighs, each one sending a ticklish shiver through you. his lips sucked at your skin, leaving little marks of his desperation behind. "you are. you're so fucking perfect for me," he growled softly, his voice thick with need. "god, i want to see you cum again, please. can i?"

you shook your head, your chest still heaving from the relentless pleasure he’d just given you. "hoon," you managed to whisper, your voice hoarse and shaky, "you’ve made me cum twice without a break." his desperate pleas tugged at you, but you were too overstimulated. "it's supposed to be about you. you’re the one in heat."

he groaned, burying his face between your thighs again, his breath hot against your skin. "fuck," he muttered, "but i can’t stop. i don’t care about me. i just—" his voice cracked, desperate and raw. "i need to feel you falling apart again."

his fingers twitched against your hips, but you grabbed his hand, pulling him up towards you. "no," you insisted gently, cupping his face and pulling him in for a soft kiss. "come on, baby, put it in," you urged, your hand wrapping around his cock, and your eyes widened in shock at the thickness, clearly not prepared for just how big he was. taken aback, you looked up at him, expecting him to ease in slowly, but he didn’t give you any time to brace yourself.

with one deep, forceful thrust, he pushed himself inside you, knocking the breath from your lungs. your jaw fell slack, and a loud moan tore from your throat, one that you were sure everyone in the house could hear. "holy shit," you gasped, your body trembling as he filled you completely.

"fuck—hoon, god. you’re…" your words trailed off, unable to form a coherent sentence, the sensation of him stretching you overwhelming your senses. his pace was relentless, no hesitation, just raw, animalistic need as he moved inside you, his eyes dark with desire.

as soon as he was fully sheathed inside you, sunghoon let out a long, drawn-out moan, his voice trembling, almost sobbing from how good it felt. "fuck," he choked out, his body shaking with every inch of you wrapped so tightly around him, your warmth pulling him deeper into a frenzy. “shit, i’m actually inside you, y/n. god your pussy is amazing," he babbled, his words spilling out between heavy pants. "so warm, so sweet—god, you feel so fucking good around me."

his hips snapped against yours with a pace so fast and brutal that you couldn’t even keep up. all you could do was gasp, your eyes rolling back into your head as he pounded into you, his voice filled with desperation. "i’ve thought about this—fuck—so many times. how your pussy would feel around me, how tight you'd be when i finally—shit," he groaned, his breath hitching as he kept going, barely holding back from completely unraveling.

his words, the sheer filth spilling from his lips, turned your body into a screaming mess. every thrust had you falling apart, your brain slowly turning to mush as his fantasies spilled out between gritted teeth, each dirty confession sending another wave of heat crashing through you. he was relentless, his grip on your hips almost bruising as he dragged you down onto him harder, faster, with every word making you lose yourself completely.

"fuck, you're perfect," he groaned again, his voice almost broken, eyes locked on you as your body shook beneath him. "i can’t fucking stop—i don’t want to stop."

"shit, hoon," you gasped, your breath coming in ragged, desperate pants. "wait—i’m coming, shit, slow down."

but his response was immediate, his hips driving even harder into you. "no," he growled, his voice low and firm, the sweet innocence gone.

"not when i finally have you like this." his eyes locked onto yours, dark and filled with pure, raw need, and he gave you a crooked, almost boyish smile that somehow made the moment even filthier. "i told you, i’m going to fucking wreck you, and i mean it."

his words, laced with that dirty yet innocent charm of his, made your entire body quiver, sending shockwaves straight to your core. he wasn’t holding back, not even a little, each thrust deep and precise, like he was determined to pull every last bit of pleasure out of you.

"i’m gonna pump you full," he growled, his voice thick with need, each word dripping with raw lust. "until your pussy can’t take any more... until you’re so fucking full of my cum, you won’t know what to do with it." his hips snapped harder against yours, relentless, and the thought alone had your head spinning, the sensation of him deep inside you overwhelming every sense.

"you’re gonna feel me for days," he panted, his breath hot against your skin as his grip on your hips tightened. "every time you move, every time you think about this, you’re gonna remember how i filled you—how i fucking wrecked you."

the sheer intensity of his words, the way he was so consumed by you, made you tremble beneath him. every thrust sent you closer to the edge, his voice, his hands, his cock—everything about him pushing you further into a spiral of pleasure you couldn’t control.

"you want that, don’t you?" he groaned, his pace somehow picking up even more, each thrust more desperate than the last. "tell me you want it, baby. tell me you want me to fill you until you can’t take anymore."

"fuck, yes, i want it," you gasped, barely able to breathe as he pounded into you, his pace brutal, relentless. "fill me up, hoon, please—fuck, i need it." your words seemed to drive him even wilder, his grip on your hips tightening as he slammed into you harder, your entire body shaking with each thrust.

"that's it," he growled, his voice rough, his eyes dark with lust. "you want me to fuck you full, don’t you? want me to make sure you're dripping with my cum, so fucking full you can't take it?" his breath was ragged, and his movements were desperate, like he was completely lost in the feeling of you wrapped around him. "god, you feel so fucking good, y/n. your pussy’s so tight, so fucking perfect for me."

his words sent another wave of heat crashing through you, your body trembling as he continued to fuck you into the mattress. "i’m gonna cum so deep inside you," he moaned, his pace picking up even more, slamming into you with everything he had. "gonna fucking fill you until there’s no room left, until you're begging for me to stop."

your eyes rolled back, the intensity too much, the pressure building in your core again. he was merciless, pounding into you without hesitation, his cock hitting so deep you could barely breathe. "fuck, hoon—" you moaned, your body trembling as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, his filthy words driving you insane.

"you're gonna fucking take it," he grunted, his voice low and rough. "every last drop. i’m not stopping until you're completely fucking wrecked, until you can’t even walk. you want that, don’t you? want me to fuck you until you're ruined for anyone else?"

the filth of his words, combined with the way he was relentlessly driving into you, pushed you over the edge again, your body convulsing around him as you came hard, your vision going white.

"fuck, yes—cum for me, baby," he groaned, feeling you tighten around him. "that’s it—fuck, i’m gonna fill you up." his thrusts became erratic, and with one final, deep thrust, he let out a guttural moan, his hips jerking as he emptied himself inside you. "take it all," he panted, his voice thick with pleasure.

just as you thought he was finally done, maybe needing a moment to recover, you realized with a shock that his cock never went soft. your eyes fluttered open, breathless, your body numb and trembling from how intensely he had just fucked the life out of you. but when you looked up, all sunghoon did was push himself back, leaning on his ankles, his dick still buried deep inside you. he hadn’t even pulled out, and you could feel his cum seeping out from where his cock met your pussy, dripping down your thighs.

he groaned at the sensation, his hips slowly thrusting in and out again, and the wetness between you two only made the sound filthier. "fuck," he muttered under his breath, his hands gripping your ankles. without a word, he took a firm hold, pushing your legs up and folding you completely in half, your knees pressed against your chest, your body contorted and helpless under him.

"you thought i was done?" he rasped, his voice raw with lust. "not even close." he smirked, eyes dark with determination, his cock still hard and throbbing inside you as he started moving again, deep and deliberate, each thrust sending shockwaves through your overstimulated body.

in this position, he hit even deeper, the angle making you cry out, your pussy gripping him tighter as he pounded into you. your mind was a haze, barely able to form a coherent thought, your body completely at his mercy. "you feel that?" he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. "i’m not fucking stopping. not until you’re a mess for me."

his pace quickened, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room as he drilled into you relentlessly. "fuck, you're still so tight," he growled, his grip tightening on your legs as he kept you folded in half, his cock sliding in and out with ease thanks to the mixture of cum and slick pouring out of you. "you’re gonna take it again, aren’t you? gonna let me fuck you until you can’t even think straight?"

each thrust sent shockwaves through your body, and all you could do was moan, eyes rolling back as the pleasure built once again, your overstimulated body unable to keep up with the intensity of his pace. sunghoon wasn’t letting up—he was going to take everything he could from you, and you were completely at his mercy.

you started moaning, the sounds coming out in broken, unintelligible gibberish as sunghoon’s relentless pace drove you to the edge of sanity. your body was trembling beneath him, completely overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through you. every deep thrust made you scream louder, completely abandoning any care for the noise, the sound of your moans filling the room.

sunghoon grinned, his expression wild with lust as he continued pounding into you, getting off on every scream that escaped your lips. "that's it," he groaned, his voice low and thick with satisfaction. "let jake fucking hear you. let him know how good i’m making you feel."

his words only made you moan louder, the thought of someone else hearing you, hearing how wrecked you were, only fueling the fire between you two. he thrust harder, his hips slamming into yours, his cock hitting deep with every stroke. "you want him to hear, don’t you?" he growled, leaning down, his face hovering above yours as he fucked you with a savage intensity. "want him to know that only i can make you scream like this?"

your vision blurred as the pleasure became too much to handle, your body shaking uncontrollably as another orgasm built inside you. your hands gripped the sheets, your back arching off the bed as sunghoon’s cock drove into you again and again, relentless and unforgiving. he was lost in it now, just as much as you were, pushing you closer to the edge, determined to make you fall apart completely.

"fuck, you're so loud," he groaned, his pace never faltering. "let them all hear how good i’m fucking you. you’re mine, y/n. all fucking mine."

you came undone beneath him once again, your body trembling violently, every nerve on fire. the pleasure was too much, too overwhelming, and instinctively, you tried to pull away, to escape the intensity. but the more you squirmed, the more it fueled sunghoon. your attempts to run only seemed to stoke the heat in him, his grip tightening around your hips as you cried out, your legs weak from the euphoria coursing through you.

tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of pleasure and overstimulation, as you tried to escape his grip. he knew it wasn’t you trying to stop, but the sheer euphoria overwhelming you, and seeing you like that, so vulnerable, only made him hungrier for more. just as you managed to pull yourself slightly off him, your thighs trembling, you whimpered at the feeling of his thick cum dripping from your ruined pussy, the mess of it all sending a shudder through you.

but sunghoon wasn’t done. before you could crawl away, he pounced on top of you, his weight heavy and dominant as he pressed you face-down into the bed, his body covering yours completely. his cock, still hard and throbbing, was already searching for your entrance again, desperate to be buried inside you once more.

"oh no you don’t," he growled, his voice low and possessive as he nipped at your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin. you whimpered, your body pliant under him, trapped between the sheets and his overwhelming presence. his hips pressed into yours, his cock finding its way back inside your soaked, abused pussy, and the moment he pushed in again, you screamed in a mix of agony and pleasure, the overstimulation sending shockwaves through you.

"oh, you’re not going anywhere," he groaned, his breath hot against your ear, his hips moving slowly but deeply, filling you again. "you feel too fucking good for me to stop. i’m gonna keep you like this, pinned down, until i say you’re done." his hands gripped your wrists, holding you in place, his cock sliding in and out of your swollen pussy, and all you could do was moan, your mind lost in the haze of pleasure he was forcing through your body.

“don’t you love how good it feels?” sunghoon’s voice was dripping with lust, his hips slamming into you, each thrust making your body shake beneath him. “listen to those fucking sounds your pussy is making,” he groaned, his breath ragged as he kept going, his cock gliding in and out of you, slick and messy. “shit, you’re clenching so tight around my dick. wanna piss yourself? fuck, you love it, don’t you?”

his filthy words filled the air, sending your mind into a spiral. you couldn’t even respond, your body too overwhelmed, too consumed by the raw intensity of his movements. your moans were muffled against the bed, but he kept going, relentless, a dark smirk crossing his lips as he felt you trembling under him.

“i bet i could make you squirt just like this,” he grunted, and with a particularly deep thrust, he hit that perfect spot inside you, making you scream into the sheets, your fists clenching the fabric as your body convulsed. “fuck, there it is,” he growled, driving into you harder.

“fuck, it’s too—shit, i—” you gasped, completely undone, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak, your body writhing beneath him. “fuck!!”

but sunghoon didn’t slow down; he kept going, his hands gripping your hips tighter, keeping you pinned to the bed as he chased that high. “yeah, that’s it, baby. scream for me. i wanna hear how fucking good it feels. gonna make you fucking lose it all over my cock.”

his fingers tangled roughly in your hair, yanking your head back so your neck was exposed for him, his lips instantly trailing hot, wet kisses down the curve of your throat. you moaned, your breath hitching as he licked his way across your skin, the sensation sending jolts of electricity through your already trembling body. he didn’t stop there—his mouth found your ear next, licking and sucking on your earlobe, and when his tongue darted inside, wet and hot, you thrashed violently beneath him, your entire body twitching from the overstimulation.

“fuck,” he groaned, loving the way you squirmed, the way you reacted to his every move. “you can’t handle it, can you? feels too fucking good, doesn’t it?” he nipped at your earlobe, his breath hot and heavy in your ear, his hips never losing rhythm as he kept pounding into you, the slick, wet sound of his cock filling you mixing with the sounds of your gasps and moans.

your back arched, your hands clawing at the sheets as he kept you in place, the sensation of his tongue teasing your ear and his cock slamming into you overwhelming every nerve. the combination was too much, and you found yourself shaking uncontrollably, your mind barely able to process the intensity. he gripped your hair tighter, pulling your head back even more as he whispered into your ear, his voice low and dirty, “you’re gonna fucking come again, aren’t you? i can feel you shaking, y/n.” his voice was like a dark promise in your ear, low and rough as his breath fanned against your skin. "you can't stop it, can you?" he taunted, his hips snapping against you mercilessly, driving himself deeper with every thrust. "you're gonna come again, and i’m gonna make sure you fucking scream."

your body was betraying you, shaking uncontrollably beneath him as the relentless pressure built inside you, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge. his fingers tightened in your hair, holding you steady as he licked a slow, wet trail along the curve of your neck, then back to your ear. the feeling of his hot tongue swirling around your earlobe, teasing you, licking inside, had you thrashing against him, your body reacting on pure instinct.

"fuck—hoon," you gasped, barely able to form a coherent thought, your voice breaking with every word. "i can't... i can't hold it—"

"don’t," he growled, his hand leaving your hair to grip your hips roughly, his nails digging into your skin. "don’t hold back. let it fucking happen."

his cock slammed into you with a brutal rhythm, the sounds of your bodies colliding echoing through the room, each thrust hitting deeper, harder, the wetness of your arousal making it even louder, filthier. you were lost in it, your body shaking uncontrollably as he fucked you with everything he had, no mercy, no breaks.

“come for me, baby,” he rasped, his voice thick with raw desire. “come all over my cock. show me how good it feels, how much you fucking love it.”

with one final deep thrust, your body shattered, your orgasm crashing into you with such force that it felt like every nerve in your body was on fire. your back arched violently, your vision going white as you screamed his name, the pleasure overwhelming everything else. you could barely breathe, your mind fogged, your body trembling uncontrollably as waves of pleasure coursed through you, your pussy clenching tightly around his cock.

"fuck, yes," sunghoon groaned, feeling your body convulse beneath him, your pussy squeezing him so tight it was almost unbearable. "that's it, baby. fucking perfect."

even as you came, he didn’t stop, his hips driving into you again and again, drawing out every last bit of pleasure, until your body was limp beneath him, completely wrecked.

just as you felt yourself slipping into the haze of exhaustion, your body on the verge of passing out from the overwhelming intensity, you were jolted back into awareness by the sudden shift. sunghoon pulled out of you, flipping you onto your back effortlessly, his strong hands settling you into position. before you could even process what was happening, he was back between your legs, his face buried in your soaked pussy.

you were too tired, too exhausted to fight back, every part of your body trembling from the pleasure he'd wrung out of you. but the moment his tongue touched you again, lapping at the mess of cum he’d just filled you with, your eyes widened in shock. he didn’t care that you were dripping with his cum; he sucked it all up, his tongue working greedily as he devoured the mixture of your releases like it was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted.

“fuck,” he moaned against your folds, his voice muffled by your skin. “we taste so fucking good together.”

the sheer filth of it made your mind reel, your body instinctively responding despite the exhaustion. his tongue moved with purpose, sucking and licking every drop of cum from you, making obscene, wet sounds that filled the room. he was relentless, his mouth hungrily devouring the mess he’d made, his fingers gripping your thighs as he pulled you closer, refusing to let go.

“hoon,” you whimpered, your voice shaky, your body too overstimulated to take much more. but he didn’t stop, his tongue dipping inside you, gathering everything before licking back up to your clit, sucking it between his lips with a deep groan of satisfaction.

he looked up at you, his eyes dark, lips slick with your combined releases as he grinned wickedly. “i’m not done, baby. not until i’ve tasted every fucking drop.”

"wanna sleep?" sunghoon whispered, his voice soft, almost tender, despite the hunger still burning in his eyes. his lips hovered just above your trembling core, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your thighs. "you can rest, y/n. close your eyes if you want."

you could barely keep them open, your body too spent, every inch of you aching from the intensity. but just as your head started to sink deeper into the pillow, his hand slid up to cup your cheek, guiding your gaze back to him.

"but please," he murmured, leaning closer, his breath hot against your skin. "let me keep fucking you? i'll be gentle... i swear. just let me feel you a little longer."

his words sent a shiver down your spine. the exhaustion weighed heavy, but the thought of him—inside you again, so desperate and needy—had your body stirring despite itself. he pressed a soft kiss to your inner thigh, his voice dripping with sweet desperation.

“i’ll be gentle,” he repeated, his cock brushing against your swollen entrance, already twitching with need. "you won’t even have to do anything, baby. just let me stay inside... let me feel you."

but how the hell were you supposed to fall asleep like this? sunghoon really did try. he had you wrapped in his arms, spooning you from behind, his chest pressed to your back as he slowly thrust into you. it should’ve been gentle, should’ve been something you could relax into, but it was impossible. each thrust, though slow, was too deep, too precise, hitting that spot inside you that had your body quivering all over again.

you were limp in his arms, your body completely spent, but that didn’t stop the overwhelming pleasure that shot through you with every slow roll of his hips. it felt like heaven and hell all at once, the overstimulation so intense that every few thrusts had you squirting uncontrollably. the sensation drove sunghoon wild, his moans filling the room, louder with every tremble of your body.

"fuck, baby," he panted, his voice wrecked with pleasure, "you’re so fucking perfect. you keep squeezing me so tight—so wet." his words tumbled out between ragged breaths, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered filthy, sweet praise. "look at you, so fucked out… god, you feel so fucking good."

your mind was a blur, lost in the haze of pleasure, tears welling in your eyes from the overwhelming sensation. but sunghoon noticed immediately, his hand moving to gently wipe them away as he thrust into you slowly, lovingly.

“shit, please,” you whimpered, your voice shaking as your body trembled from the overstimulation. “sunghoon, i don’t think i can take anymore.”

his hips slowed slightly, his breath hot against your neck as he nuzzled into you, pressing soft kisses to your skin. “you can, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with need but laced with a gentleness that had your heart pounding. “just a little more… i’ll be gentle, i swear.”

his cock still slid in and out of you, slow and deep, and every movement made your body shudder with a mixture of pleasure and exhaustion. you could feel his restraint, the way he was trying so hard to keep it slow, but the way he groaned, the way his grip tightened on your hip told you he was losing it.

“fuck, you feel so good. i can’t stop,” he panted, his voice strained with desperation. "just let me have this... you’re so perfect, baby. just a little more, please."

even as your body protested, your mind clouded with the sensation, and you found yourself nodding weakly, barely able to form words. his hands roamed your body, his lips brushing your ear as he continued whispering sweet, filthy praises, the overwhelming pleasure threatening to pull you under once again.

your body couldn’t take it anymore—the constant pleasure, the way sunghoon’s hips never stopped, his cock filling you so completely, so perfectly. his whispered praises, the feeling of him inside you, it all became too much. your mind was spinning, every nerve in your body on fire, and then it happened—you slipped into unconsciousness, your body finally giving in to the exhaustion and the intensity.

sunghoon felt it the moment your body went completely limp against him, your breathing evening out as you passed out in his arms. but even then, he didn’t stop, his hips still moving slowly, savoring every last second of being inside you.

“oh, y/n,” he groaned softly, his lips pressing tender kisses to your neck, his hand caressing your side gently. “you’re so fucking perfect.”

he knew you were out, completely spent, but he couldn’t help himself. he thrust into you a few more times, his cock twitching inside you before he finally reached his own release, groaning softly as he spilled inside you, filling you up one last time.

with a soft sigh, he held you close, his chest pressed to your back, his arms wrapped protectively around you as he finally let himself relax. "sleep, baby," he whispered, kissing the back of your head. "i've got you."

at this point, sunghoon had already cum inside you an unhealthy number of times. his release was everywhere—his cum practically flooding the bed, pooling around your stomach, soaking your thighs, dripping out of your pussy with each slow thrust. the blanket beneath you was completely ruined, drenched in a mess of sweat and cum, the sticky wetness clinging to your skin. the room smelled intensely of sex, so thick with the scent of him that it hung heavy in the air, almost suffocating.

it was that bad. so bad that you couldn’t even remember how many times he’d filled you up, your body barely able to keep up with him, completely drained and overspent. every time you thought he was done, every time you thought your body couldn’t handle anymore, he’d find a way to keep going—pulling more moans from you, pushing you to the brink over and over again.

his cock twitched inside you, still hard, still pulsing with need, even after everything. “fuck, look at you,” he whispered, his voice thick with awe and lust. “you’re so full of me… it’s everywhere.” his fingers traced the cum that dripped down your thighs, the mess pooling beneath you only spurring him on. “god, i’ve filled you up so many times… i’ve ruined you, haven’t i?”

his hands caressed your waist, his lips brushing against your ear as he let out a satisfied groan. "the room smells like us," he muttered, sounding almost proud, "like i’ve claimed every inch of you. fuck, you look so good like this… completely wrecked, covered in my cum."

he held you tighter, his chest pressed to your back as he slowed his thrusts, savoring the feel of you. “so fucking perfect. i can’t stop, y/n… i don’t want to stop.”

the next morning, the room was an absolute disaster. sunlight crept through the curtains, illuminating the chaos from the night before—sheets drenched, blankets ruined, the unmistakable scent of sex hanging heavy in the air. your entire body ached, a dull reminder of just how much sunghoon had pushed you to the brink.

you stirred slowly, your limbs heavy, your thighs still sticky from the aftermath. the sheets beneath you were soaked, a mess of sweat and cum that clung to your skin. sunghoon, lying behind you, was still holding you gently, his arm draped over your waist like a protective shield. he felt warm, his body pressed close, completely different from the night before.

as you shifted slightly, the slickness between your legs reminded you of just how much he had filled you—again and again. you winced, feeling his cum still seeping out of you, sticky against your inner thighs.

sunghoon stirred beside you, letting out a soft yawn before his lips pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, his voice still soft and boyish. “morning,” he mumbled, his tone sweet, almost innocent—like nothing happened. “you okay?”

you let out a breathy laugh, your body so tired you could barely move. “i can’t feel anything, hoon.”

his eyes widened in concern for a moment before a shy smile curled at the corners of his lips, his hand brushing softly over your hip, still gentle, but there was a subtle glint of something dirtier in his gaze. “s-sorry... i, uh… might’ve gone a bit overboard,” he said, sounding sheepish, though his hand wandered down, grazing over your sticky skin, clearly not too sorry. “but you were just… so perfect.”

you rolled your eyes playfully, but a flush crept up your neck when his fingers traced the dried cum along your thighs. “we really made a mess,” he muttered, his voice a little softer, a little shyer, but you could still hear the satisfaction in it. "look at you..." he whispered, his thumb tracing the outline of where his cum had dried, “you're still all messy.”

you couldn’t help but laugh weakly. "yeah, whose fault is that?"

his lips curled into a grin, and he pressed another soft kiss to your neck, his voice a little more daring now. “you took everything i gave you, didn’t you? every single drop...”

he shifted closer, wrapping his arms around you, his tone sweet but laced with that dirty edge that made your heart race. "maybe we should... clean up. but," he paused, his breath warm against your ear, “you know, if you wanna rest, i can clean it up for you...”

“you’re unbelievable,” you muttered, trying to ignore the way your body shivered at his words, his soft tone somehow making it even filthier.

he chuckled softly, resting his chin on your shoulder. “can we go again? i promise i’ll be gentle this time.”

one of my very mid-works, not really that satisfied with this but i hope it's still ok :((

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Our Life | P.JS

jay x reader warnings: fluff, angst, smut (mdni), unprotected sex, cum plugging, oral (f.rec), major theme of death and grievance, character death, mentions of alcoholism (very slight, not for mcs), descriptions of pregnancy and birth, strangers to married couple trope, insane amount of fluff, verging on soulmate au, hopeful ending even though it's sorrowful, some parts not proof read, anything else lmk! wc: 34.8k synopsis: one year after his wife passed away, jongseong reflects back on his life, causing him to miss you more than ever a/n: hi! writing this jay fic has come at a really funny time in my life. it's just a fic, i know, but for some reason i'm writing it so personally - a lot of this has to do with me or how i view things, the relationships i have had with my loved ones etc. this fic is the manifestation of the love i want and love i hope everyone experiences. i know we all deserve to have someone care about us so much that we feel safe and cherished. you deserve to be happy, i hope we all find that person. as always, reblogs, comments and feedback is all welcome! i also cried like 5 times writing this so...be warned.

*this fic has serious themes of death, please do not read if this upsets you or makes you uncomfortable! nothing is murder and nothing is violent, but i understand this theme can be upsetting for people!

As Jongseong hears the door of his house gently push open, he can already hear the familiar sound of tiny feet racing towards him. Moments later, the littlest one, Minji, bursts into the room, her laughter bubbling over as she makes a beeline for her great-grandfather.

“Poppy!” she cries, her small arms already outstretched, launching herself into his lap. Thankfully, Jongseong is seated in his favourite recliner so that helps him catch her. A warm smile plasters on his face, ready for her joyful embrace. Minji, at just five years old, is a whirlwind of energy, always eager to shower her great-grandfather with affection. She’s a bundle of life that never fails to brighten the room.

Minhee, her older brother, is a little more restrained. At nearly eleven years old, he’s beginning to see himself as too grown-up for such open displays of affection, though Jongseong catches the fond glint in his eyes. Minhee hovers near the door, perhaps torn between maintaining his cool exterior and giving in to the pull of family warmth.

The children call him “Poppy,” a sweet nickname coined by their mother, Ara, when she was a child. Grandad and Poppa had apparently been too much of a mouthful for her, and the name stuck through the generations. Jongseong smiles to himself, recalling how it all began.

As he waits for Ara to follow them in, Jongseong is pleasantly surprised when Jeyou steps through the door instead. His son, of course, a father himself, offers him a smile that’s full of love and history. Jongseong’s eyes twinkle as Jeyou enters, taking in the sight of his son with a mixture of pride and nostalgia. So many years had passed, and yet, in moments like this, they seemed to collapse in on themselves, leaving just the simple pleasure of being surrounded by family.

And this day a little more bearable.

"Got yourself a couple of shadows today, haven’t you, Dad?" Jeyou says, glancing at Minji who has made herself comfortable on her great-grandfather’s lap, her head tucked under his chin.

"Ah, wouldn’t have it any other way," Jongseong replies, his voice low but full of warmth. He places a gentle hand on Minji’s back, feeling her soft breathing as she calms down from her excited entrance. "Though, I expect you’ll be getting the same treatment soon enough with your old age."

Jeyou chuckles and shakes his head. "Oh, she’s all yours for now. Ara’s just grabbing some things from the car, but she’ll be in soon. Couldn’t resist having her kids run ahead."

Jongseong nods. That sounded just like Ara. Always the one to let the children take the lead, full of the same unbridled energy she’d had as a child. Even now, as an adult, she managed to keep that spark.

"Minhee," Jeyou calls, his voice gentle but nudging. "Aren’t you going to say hello to Poppy?"

Minhee hesitates for a moment, then steps forward. His gangly limbs betray his preteen awkwardness as if he's still adjusting to his growing frame. He shuffles over, his eyes on the floor, before glancing up at Jongseong with a shy smile.

"Hey, Poppy," he mumbles, and though his words are quiet, there’s warmth in his gaze.

"Come here, son," Jongseong beckons, and Minhee approaches. He leans down for a brief hug, one that’s a bit stiff but no less genuine. Jongseong pats his great-grandson on the back, feeling the familiar ache in his chest - an ache that comes from seeing the passage of time so vividly in the people you love.

Minhee quickly retreats to the sofa, where he pulls out a book from his rucksack, burying his nose into it as if he hadn’t just shared a tender moment. Jongseong chuckles softly, knowing well that Minhee’s quiet affection is just as real as Minji’s exuberant embrace.

"Just like you at his age," Jongseong remarks to Jeyou.

Jeyou raises an eyebrow. "Was I that shy?"

"Not shy, just...reflective," Jongseong murmured, his gaze softening as memories of Jeyou’s childhood flashed before him. Even as a boy, Jeyou had always been deep in thought, though there had never been a shortage of mischief hiding behind those thoughtful eyes.

But before they could slip too far into the past, the familiar sound of the front door creaking open stirred the present moment. Ara swept in, arms full of bags, her bright smile instantly lighting up the room.

"There’s my favourite man," she called out cheerily, her voice as warm as always. She placed the bags by the door and, in her usual way, let her gaze travel from her children to her father before finally settling on her grandfather. The fondness in her smile deepened as she approached him.

"Hello, Poppy," she said softly, bending down to press a kiss to his cheek. "How are you feeling today?"

Jongseong reached for her hand, his grip gentle but steady. "Better now that you’re all here," he replied, his voice tinged with a quiet sincerity.

Today wasn’t an easy day, and everyone in the room knew it - except for Minji, who was too young to understand the weight the date carried. The family had gathered not just for the usual visit but to offer comfort, to keep his mind occupied. Jongseong had been dreading this day for over a week, the memories from years past creeping into his thoughts, but seeing his loved ones around him made it a little more bearable.

Ara steps back to look around the room, her hands resting on her hips as if surveying a scene she knew by heart. "Right, then. Who’s up for a cup of tea?" she announced, though she didn’t wait for a reply. She already knew her answer.

Disappearing into the kitchen, she busied herself with the kettle, placing three cups in front of her and tossing teabags into each. The familiar clink of porcelain and the hum of the kettle filled the air, blending with the gentle sounds of the family settling in. Jeyou, already feeling at home, sank into the couch, his gaze drifting to his father.

"So," Jeyou began, his tone casual but laced with concern, "has the doctor called you yet about your heart? Your review’s coming up in a few weeks, isn’t it?"

Jongseong let out a soft sigh, not wanting to weigh the room down with his health concerns, but knowing it was pointless to brush it off. "Not yet. They’re supposed to get back to me soon, but you know how these things go."

In his mind, his heart is as fit as a fiddle despite the pieces shattered and medical scans telling him otherwise. Being seventy-six puts him at that age where he doesn’t quite fuss over the little things anymore, knowing that when he starts to go, it’s his time. His family don’t quite see it that way, but they always had a knack for worrying.

They get that from you.

Ara returns from the kitchen with a tray of steaming mugs, setting two on the coffee table and one on the side stroller Jongseong uses as a side table. It’s old and it’s definitely not supposed to be purposed for keeping his things close by, but he does it this way anyway. 

“You’re running low on milk and sugar, Poppy,” she states, smiling softly. It’s not like Jongeong to let things run to the last drop, but she supposes it’s probably the last thing on his mind these days. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Jongseong returns her kind expression and sits comfortably in his chair.

Jeyou’s eyes drift from the steaming tea on the table to the two untouched cups sitting beside it, their contents long gone cold. His gaze then falls on the doset box, where yesterday's and this morning's pills sit neglected in their transparent slots. A dull ache forms in his chest, growing heavier with each passing second. It’s not like his father to forget things like this. Something in his stomach twists - an unsettling feeling that only deepens when he looks over at Jongseong.

His father, seated comfortably in the old recliner, is absentmindedly running his fingers through Minji’s hair, but his expression is distant. His eyes, usually full of life, are clouded, as though he’s drifting somewhere far away. Jeyou knows that look too well, his father isn’t here in this moment, not really. He’s somewhere in the past, locked in thoughts he won’t share with anyone.

"Kids," Jeyou says, his voice firmer than usual, "why don’t you go play outside? It’s too nice for you to stay in here."

Minji, always eager for an adventure, springs from her great-grandfather’s lap and dashes towards the garden, her giggles trailing behind her like sunshine. Minhee lingers a bit longer, his hesitation clear, but a quick glance at his grandfather’s face tells him everything he needs to know. This was one of those moments where the grown-ups needed to talk. With a quiet nod, Minhee follows his sister outside, leaving the room heavy with unspoken words.

Jeyou scoots forward on the couch, his hands clasped tightly, his heart feeling as if it’s weighed down by a stone. "Dad," he begins, his voice thick with concern, "are you sure you’re looking after yourself?"

As expected, Jongseong forces out a laugh, the sound strained and far from genuine. "Of course I am. What kind of question is that?" He waves his hand dismissively, as if brushing away his son’s worry could somehow make it disappear. But Jeyou can see the cracks in his father’s defences, no matter how hard he tries to hide them.

Ara steps in before Jeyou can push further, her eyes soft but her tone direct. "You look really tired, Poppy," she says, careful not to let too much of her worry spill into her words. She doesn’t mention the state of the kitchen, though it’s hard to ignore. The counters are cluttered with dirty dishes, empty food wrappers, and crumpled paper towels. It’s a far cry from the meticulous space Jongseong used to keep, everything in its place, nothing left unattended. His once-pristine kitchen now looks like it’s seen better days, like he’s given up on keeping it tidy.

And his appearance - Ara notices that too. His hair, usually slicked back with the neatness he always took pride in, now lies flat and lifeless, as though he hadn’t bothered with it at all. Even his clothes seem carelessly thrown on, lacking the care he once put into his daily routines.

"I’m okay, I promise," Jongseong says, offering a weak smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

But they all know better. He’s far from okay, and they can see it in every little detail. His body may be failing, but it’s his spirit that seems most worn down. And that’s not something any doctor could fix with medication or surgery.

Jeyou sighs, the weight of his father’s stubbornness pressing down on him. He knows how difficult it is for Jongseong to open up, especially about something as delicate as his feelings. "Dad, I know it must be tough on you today, with Mum’s anniversary," Jeyou says softly, his voice cracking slightly at the mention of her, "but please, don’t neglect yourself. We need you here. We can’t lose you too."

The room falls silent, the air thick with unsaid things. Jongseong’s face twitches for just a moment at the mention of his late wife, and Ara, sitting by her father’s side, silently curses him with a sharp nudge to his ribs. Her eyes flicker with disapproval, not wanting to mention you so blatantly.

With his smile faltering, Jongseong’s eyes begin glazing over once more as he looks away, as though staring too long into his children’s worried faces might break him. "I’m alright," he murmurs again, softer this time, but no one in the room believes him.

It has been a year since you passed, and while it was easy to put on a brave face for months, something about knowing he has been without you for one entire year puts him in misery, the same misery he felt the day he found you laying on your shared bed, last gasps of breath already evacuated from your body.

jongseong’s heart, once full of love and purpose, now feels unbearably heavy without you. It’s not just the grief that weighs him down - it’s the love. A love that has nowhere to go, nothing to cling to. For over fifty years, his heart beat with the rhythm of your shared life, the quiet moments and laughter you wove into the years together. 

Now, without you, all that love is left to pool within him, filling the empty spaces with a bittersweet ache. He still wakes up wanting to tell you things, still reaches out for you in the night, only to be met with silence. That love, the part of him that was always meant for you, has no place to rest, and he feels its weight with every breath he takes.

He escapes to the past these days, just for the opportunity to see you again.

_____

The party is loud, an overwhelming hum of voices, music, and laughter blending together in a way that makes it impossible to think. The flat is small, much too small to hold the crowd that’s somehow crammed into every corner. 

People from all different majors are squeezed into the living room, the hallway, and even the tiny kitchen, balancing Tesco plastic cups on the edge of counters and bookshelves. It feels like the walls are closing in, the air thick with the smell of cheap alcohol and the heat of too many bodies in one space. Jongseong shifts uncomfortably, standing near the wall with his back pressed to it, hoping to stay out of the chaotic flow of people moving past him.

His friend, Sunghoon, is in his element, leaning over to chat with two girls from the science department. Jongseong can hear snippets of Sunghoon’s conversation - something about biology and "how easy it must be to share a dorm with a future doctor." Jongseong knows what his friend’s after. It’s the same for every party. Sunghoon is smooth-talking his way through the night, hoping to fuck one - or both - of the girls before the party winds down. Jongseong can't help but feel a sense of detachment from it all, wishing he were anywhere but here.

He glances down at his drink, swirling the last bit of beer in his cup, realising he hasn’t even taken a sip in the last half-hour. The music pounds in his ears and the conversations around him blur into a noise that grates against his thoughts. Everyone seems so eager to lose themselves in the moment, but all Jongseong can think about is how out of place he feels, like he’s in someone else’s world.

And then his eyes land on you.

Seated on the worn couch at the far end of the room, you look just as lost as he feels. Your shoulders are hunched slightly, arms folded across your chest, eyes scanning the room with a quiet detachment. It’s like you’re here, but not really. The party swirls around you, but you sit untouched by its chaos. There’s something familiar in the way your gaze drifts, a softness in the way you carry yourself, as if you’re silently wishing to be anywhere else, just like him. 

His heart skips, the noise of the party fading just a little as he watches you, wondering why on earth you are here, or where you even came from. He’s been dragged to enough of these house parties to recognise almost everyone; it’s always the same crowd of wasted university students, all looking for a cheap night and a place to get fucked up.

You shift slightly on the couch, adjusting your position as if you’re trying to get comfortable but failing. The small movement is enough to stir something in Jongseong, a quiet push that breaks through his hesitation of going over to speak with you. He pushes off the wall, weaving through the crowd, his gaze never leaving you. Each step brings him closer to you and further from the loud, chaotic energy around him.

When he finally reaches the couch, Jongseong stands there, smiling down at you. Up close, he notices the small details about you - the way your eyes are slightly glazed over like you're staring through the crowd rather than at it. Your posture is relaxed, like someone who's given up on finding anything remotely interesting in this chaotic scene. You’re lazily twirling a strand of hair around your finger, your other hand drumming absentmindedly on the armrest, and every so often, you let out a quiet sigh. It’s clear you’re bored, as if you're here out of obligation or maybe even on a dare, but definitely not because you're enjoying it.

Jongseong wonders for a moment if approaching you is the right move. Maybe you're waiting for someone, or maybe you'd rather just be left alone to your boredom. But he’s already here, and backing out now would be even more awkward. Besides, there’s a part of him that thinks you might welcome the distraction.

“Hey,” he says, his voice soft but just loud enough to be heard over the music. He gives you a small, tentative smile, trying to convey that he’s not like the other loser men at this party, that he’s not here to make your night more unbearable. “Is that seat taken?”

The sound of his voice pulls you from your thoughts, startling you for a split second before your eyes lock onto his face. And what a beautiful face it is. His sharp jawline, soft eyes, and the hint of smile lines add to his handsomeness. The dyed white hair that’s slicked back to showcase his fresh undercut makes your mouth dry, then water just a little as you catch yourself staring.

Shaking off the daze his looks have put you in, you nod your head and smile. “Actually, my friend, Imaginary, is sitting right here,” you joke, patting the seat next to you lightly, “but I think she might move for you.”

Jongseong smirks, charmed by your wit, and takes a seat, spreading his legs just enough that his knee brushes yours. A subtle, intentional move that sends a tiny jolt of awareness through you. The music pounds around you, and the room vibrates with the beat, but here, with him so close, it feels like you’re in a different world - a bubble separate from the chaos.

"Are you new?" he asks, his voice carrying a warmth that cuts through the cold disinterest of the party.

"No, but I don't normally come to parties like this," you admit, glancing around the crowded room.

"Why not?" His eyes stay on you, curious, almost as if he’s trying to decipher the puzzle of who you are. There is something so intriguing about you, his soul suddenly ignited by even the prospect of knowing you.

You gesture around you with a slight roll of your eyes. "Lots of drunk people with egos even though they're only uni kids? Not exactly my favourite." The words drip with sarcasm, your disdain evident in the flatness of your tone. You can’t think of anywhere worse than this - people stumbling around, half-shouted conversations about nothing of substance, the smell of stale beer and sweat hanging thick in the air. It’s a headache in the making, a mess of too much noise and not enough space, a place where everything blurs into a haze of chaos and bad decisions. You’d rather be anywhere else, where people know how to handle themselves without being obnoxious, where the air is fresh and the conversations have weight.

Your answer earns a snicker from Jongseong. He ducks his head, a smile playing on his lips, and for a moment, he looks genuinely amused - like he’s found a hidden gem amidst all the nonsense around him. He takes a second to soak it in, feeling something light and warm settle in his chest. 

When he glances back up at you, there’s a brightness in his eyes that wasn’t there before. "Okay, let me ask you another question, then - why are you here?" he asks, his tone playful but curious, like he’s genuinely invested in peeling back the layers of who you are. 

You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes at him, a smirk tugging at your lips. "I'm gonna have to start charging you for all these questions, y’know." There’s a teasing edge in your voice, but underneath it, there’s also a spark - something alive and electric, something that catches Jongseong off guard, a flicker in his heart.

He laughs softly, nodding along with a look that says he’s enjoying this more than he thought he would. It’s rare to find someone who doesn’t just play along with the usual small talk but actually pushes back a little, makes him work for it. He hadn’t expected you to have so much spunk and confidence from just watching you sit there, looking lost in thought. It’s refreshing - a sharp contrast to the superficial conversations that fill the room around him. 

In all honesty, he thought you might have pushed him off, unwilling to even entertain him, never mind willingly try and drag out the conversation with him. That’s what he gets for judging a book by its cover.

"I can pay for a meet-and-greet, don’t worry," he says, his voice low and smooth, proud yet playful. His eyes gleam with a challenge, like he’s throwing down a gauntlet he hopes you’ll pick up. There’s an unspoken dare there, a flirtatious edge that makes your heart skip a beat. It feels like you’re both dancing on the edge of something - something that could tip into something real, something interesting, if either of you is brave enough to take the next step.

“So,” he continues, leaning back slightly, more relaxed now, “why are you here?”

He takes a sip of his drink, and it’s then that he notices you don’t have one. You don’t seem to mind, though, and he doesn’t comment on it, but it strikes him as a little odd. Typically, if someone is having a fuck awful time at a party, they drown themselves in alcohol to let inhabitions go and just pray to God they don’t make a fool of themselves. He knows there has to be a story there, and he can’t wait to uncover it.

"Thought I would check it out. I hear they’re all the rage," you say with a wry smile, clearly feeling the distaste on your tongue. 

Truth is, you’re trying new things this year, pushing your boundaries to help form your character. You’re sick of hearing about all these experiences through the lenses of TikTok videos and Instagram posts from your friends; it’s time to start living out the life you want. Not everything will be your cup of tea - tonight if quite evident of that, you can certainly cross parties off your FOMO list - but there is no harm in trying different things,

“Eh, parties are overrated, if I'm being honest,” he replies, his eyes tracing the features of your face. You’re so beautiful but so fucking familiar. He doesn’t know you, he would remember someone as ethereal as you. But there is part of him that feels you deep inside, as though you’ve rocked something in his soul.

Like you’re placing yourself home in his heart.

"Okay. Then why are you here?" you challenge back, your eyes narrowing slightly with curiosity.

Jongseong leans in a little, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. “I hate these parties. Can’t stand how loud and irritating they are. The noise, the drunk people who can't hold their alcohol, the same shallow conversations...” His words trail off as he glances around, his lip curling in mild distaste. “I’ve always been a people person, but…just not these people.”

Sucking your teeth, you nod, agreeing with every last syllable of his sentence. You feel this on another level, but considering he seems to be acquainted with parties enough to dissect and disregard them so easily, you still ponder your question. 

Raising your eyebrows, you silently wait for him to continue.  

“Y’know Sunghoon? The campus heartthrob?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. He hates to refer to his best friend as such, but that is literally his title within the university. Sunghoon is notorious for having girls and guys falling at his feet, kissing the ground he walks on because he has been voted Korea’s perfect face three years in a row. Jongseong doesn’t grudge it, he votes for his friend too, and he isn’t blind, he can see how attractive he is.

“Yeah?” you respond, intrigued.

“Well, believe it or not, that beautiful son of a bitch is my best friend.”

Considering the way this boy presents himself, you would have genuinely never guessed that he was friends with someone as high profile as Park  Sunghoon. However, it does explain why, even if he hates the parties, he attends nonetheless. 

You chuckle, your eyes glinting as you begin to steer the conversation in the direction you both want it to sail. “You’re saying that like you aren’t equally as pretty.”

Jongseong flushes, his cheeks dusting a faint pink. The warmth spreads across his face, and he bites back a grin, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. It’s the tiny confirmation he needed to know that you want to flirt with him. That information alone perks his confidence up, although still shy under your flattering observation. He quickly plasters on a teasing smirk, fluttering his lashes dramatically and placing his hand under his chin, wiggling his fingers. “Oh? So you think I’m pretty?”

The scene before you brings out an even bigger laugh from you than earlier, though it’s not mocking or condescending - just pure amusement and joy. It’s infectious, and Jongseong feels his heart swell at the sound. He has the sudden urge to make you laugh like that for a long time, to see that carefree sparkle in your eyes again and again. He doesn’t want to say forever, but his heart is sure screaming it.

“I think you’re pretty, yes,” you say, your smile soft and genuine, your eyes sparkling under the annoying table-side lamp with its harsh white bulb - a stark contrast to the warmth you radiate. The lamp is obnoxious and stupid, casting its ugly, sterile light on everything around it, much like several of the people at this party. But Jongseong can't help but find it almost poetic that it’s illuminating something - or rather, someone - so captivating. 

There’s a sense of irony in how this harsh, artificial light only seems to highlight the genuine softness in your expression, the way you carry yourself with a quiet confidence that makes you stand out without even trying. You shine so brightly, even in a room full of noise and chaos, and Jongseong begins to sense just why he was so drawn to you at first glance.

It’s not as if you’re ‘not like other girls’ or whatever cringe, indie-female-lead syndrome that sounds like. No, it’s that in a room full of people competing to be seen, you’re the only one who Jongseong cares to know about. There’s a magnetism to the way you occupy your space - comfortable in your own skin, bored but not bitter, playful but not insincere. You seem untethered from the superficial games playing out around you, and that’s what makes you different. It’s not that you’re trying to be; it’s that you simply are - at least, in Jongseong’s eyes.

He feels a warmth spread through his chest, a lightness he hasn’t felt for a long time. For a moment, the noise of the party fades, replaced by the sound of your laughter, ringing clear and unforced, like something rare and precious in a place like this. It strikes him then - how easy it would be to just keep listening to that sound, to find ways to make you laugh again, to see how your eyes light up when you’re amused.

“How about we get out of here?” Jongseong suggests, his voice laced with a hint of excitement that he can’t quite hide. “Grab some food, and I’ll walk you home.”

You raise an eyebrow, your lips curling into a teasing smile. “Leaving this place does sound tempting...but here’s the thing, I don’t even know you,” you say, your words playful, though the interest in your eyes betrays how intrigued you really are.

He feels a flicker of embarrassment for not having introduced himself sooner. “Shit, sorry. Let me introduce myself.” He straightens up, setting his cup down with a small, almost sheepish grin. Then, with a playful seriousness that makes you chuckle, he extends his hand, inviting and warm. “I’m Jay, I’m 22 years old, I study music technology, and I’m single.”

You can’t help but smile at his theatrics, mirroring his gesture and placing your hand in his. The warmth of his skin sends a flutter through your stomach, your insides skipping in joy all of a sudden, but you ignore it, focusing instead on the easy banter between you. “My name is Y/N, I am 23 years old, and I am also single,” you reply, your tone matching his playful formality.

His grin widens, a flash of confidence in his eyes. “Sounds like the perfect match, don’t you think?” There’s a charm to him that’s hard to resist, an easy confidence that makes you feel like you’ve known him much longer than just these few minutes.

As you hold his gaze, you find yourself drawn to him in a way that surprises you. It’s not just his looks - though there’s no denying he’s handsome - it’s his energy, his wit, the warmth that radiates from him. Never in your life has someone matched your energy so well. He’s like a breath of fresh air in a space that feels stifling, and it’s intoxicating in a way that no drink here could ever be.

You knew, from that very moment, that you wanted to know more about him, and he knew he was going to marry you one day.

_____

"A treasure hunt?" you ask, a hint of amusement in your voice as you raise an eyebrow at him.

Jongseong had thought about you nonstop since the moment he walked you home from that party. A few stolen moments in your company, a brief but memorable conversation - it had not been enough. Not nearly enough. It was as if something inside him ignited that night, a quiet but unrelenting fire, burning through his thoughts whenever your face crossed his mind. The way you laughed, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke - it was intoxicating, and he found himself craving more. So much more. 

His friends had noticed too; he wasn’t subtle in the least. Every chance he got, he’d talk about you, about the brief time you two had spent together, already analysing every moment like a lovestruck fool.

And so, he’d come up with this date: a treasure hunt. A way to get to know you, to create an experience that wasn’t just the mundane dinner or movie date. No, this had to be different. You deserved different. Something unique. He’d spent days working out the details, coming up with clues, places, and the perfect way to make this evening special. He wanted you to smile, to laugh, to feel how much thought he had poured into this. 

Jongseong grins, proud of himself, "Yep. Well, sort of. I'm going to give you an envelope, and you're going to figure out the riddle."

Your lips curve into a soft smile, the kind that makes his heart race in a way he’s almost embarrassed to admit. You're used to men putting in the bare minimum. Dinner and a movie, sometimes even just a text at 11 pm, wondering if you were still awake. But this? This is different. He’d thought about this, actually put in effort. A treasure hunt on a first date? It was quirky, yes, but endearing. It makes you wonder if somehow, during that boring party, you found a ruby amongst diamonds. The idea makes your stomach flutter slightly and anticipation build.

"Okay," you tease, holding out your hand, palm up. "Where is this magical envelope with all the answers then?"

"Well..." Jongseong steps closer to you, the air between you buzzing with unspoken tension, playful and light. He pulls the envelope from his suede brown jacket pocket and dangles it just above your open hand. As you reach for it, Jongseong pulls away at the last second, flashing you a mischievous grin.

“Really?” You huff, your voice carrying more amusement than frustration. He’s playing with you, and you can’t deny you enjoy it.

"Not so fast," he says, heart thrumming in his chest so loud because fuck you look so beautiful, he just wants to be as close to you as possible. So, he steps even closer, his body towering over yours. The warmth from his body feels almost tangible, and the playful gleam in his eyes makes your heart stutter. "You have to answer me one question before I give it to you."

You can’t help but roll your eyes, though it’s all in good fun. "So not only do I need to use my brain and solve a puzzle, I also have to divulge personal information? You really know how to get a girl talking."

"Pretty much, yeah." His smile is smug, and you can tell he’s feeling particularly clever about his little scheme. It’s adorable, really. 

"And if I say no?"

"Then this date ends very quickly," he shrugs, feigning nonchalance, though you can tell he’s trying hard to mask his anticipation. He leans in slightly, voice low and teasing. "And you miss out on my meticulously planned adventure."

His words are light, but there’s a subtle undercurrent of vulnerability there. He’s trying to play it cool, but you sense how much he hopes you’ll say yes. That small spark of emotion hidden behind his teasing makes your heart soften just a little more. There’s something so sweet in how much effort he’s putting in, and you can’t help but feel drawn to it. Feel drawn to him.

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, "Fine, what’s the question then?"

Jongseong chuckles, clearly pleased with himself and his persuading manner. "Straight to the point. I like it." He holds the envelope out again, this time a little closer to your palm. "What’s your favourite type of food?"

You pause, considering for a moment before a smile spreads across your face. "Hmm... Italian, or! Caribbean."

He raises an eyebrow at your sudden burst of enthusiasm. "Both?"

"I mean, how could I possibly choose between ravioli and kabritu stoba?" You laugh, feeling the lightness of the conversation flow easily between you. This is nice, it feels like you have somehow known each other for years.

"Fair enough," he says, nodding approvingly. He waves the envelope slightly, catching your attention. "Now, open this."

You tear it open carefully, unfolding the piece of paper inside. The words are written in neat, careful handwriting, a small clue to the meticulous planning that went into this.

"To taste where flavours meet and blend, Find the 5treet where numb3Rs enD. Look where hungry students convene, The number’s hidden in this scene."

You frown slightly, reading it over again. Riddles aren’t exactly your strong suit, but you try to piece it together. Okay, there's a 53 in there, and R and D are capatilised...hungry students? Then it hits you, a beam of satisfaction at how quickly you managed to solve it shining from your pleased grin.

"53rd Note!" you exclaim, eyes lighting up. "The food stall on campus!" You look at him, a grin tugging at your lips. "I'm right, aren’t I?"

Instead of giving you a verbal answer, Jongseong simply gestures for you to lead the way. What he doesn’t expect, however, is for you to take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his in a way that feels so easy, so natural, it takes him by surprise. His heart skips a beat, something he didn’t think was possible in a moment as simple as this. Your hand in his feels...perfect. Warm, comforting, and everything he didn’t know he needed until now.

You feel the shift too - the way the simple touch adds a new layer to the evening. There’s something electric in the air, a sense of anticipation and excitement. It’s just a handhold, you tell yourself, but there’s more to it. The quiet understanding, the subtle acknowledgement of a connection that neither of you is ready to speak about just yet, in fear of jinxing something.

As you walk together toward the diner, the city lights twinkling above, the world feels a little smaller. It’s just the two of you, hands clasped, both of you teetering on the edge of something that feels new and exhilarating. Jongseong glances at you from the corner of his eye, his heart pounding in a way he knows he won’t forget. He’s down bad for you, that much he’s realised, fuck, he even came to this conclusion when you told him your name. But now, holding your hand, walking beside you on a slightly chilly evening, the sun setting in for bedtime while the moon starts its shift, he thinks maybe - hopefully - you might be down for him too.

_

The walk to 53rd Note is relatively short, yet it feels like time expands as you and Jongseong fall into an effortless rhythm of conversation. There’s no awkwardness, no fumbling through the typical, banal exchanges that often fill first dates - no one asking about favourite colours or talking endlessly about the weather surrounding you. Instead, the dialogue between you flows naturally, easily, as if you’ve known each other far longer than you have.

Jongseong’s questions are thoughtful, pulling you into a deeper conversation that takes you by surprise in the best way possible. "Why did you pick your major?" he asks, genuine curiosity lacing his tone. You find yourself opening up, explaining your passions and dreams, not feeling the need to hold back. There’s something about the way he listens that makes you feel heard, truly heard. His eyes never wander, his attention never falters - he is fully attentive.

"Is silver jewellery your thing, or are you allergic to gold?" he asks with a chuckle, glancing at the small silver ring on your finger. The question is odd but endearing, making you laugh. And when you ask about his interest in food, you learn that cooking is one of his many hidden talents. He admits to almost studying culinary arts before choosing music tech, a decision that sparks even more questions between you both.

The conversation continues, and you feel your guard slowly falling, piece by piece. You even ask him why he decided to talk to you that night at the party. His answer is simple, yet it holds weight. "I just wanted to get to know you."

By the time you reach the little food stall nestled on the corner of the student campus, you’re both lost in conversation and laughter. The place is a campus favourite, known for its amazing food and usual agonising long queues. It’s the kind of spot everyone flocks to after lectures or late-night study sessions. But tonight, something is off. The shutters are down, and the sign on the shutter swings lazily in the breeze, declaring the stall closed.

"I-It’s closed," you stammer, disappointment heavy in your voice, not because you can’t eat here, but because you feel a twinge of guilt knowing how Jongseong must have spent time planning all of this, and now you've hit a hurdle at the first stop. The last thing you want is for his carefully thought-out plan to be ruined so suddenly.

But when you turn to face him, the smile on his face hasn’t faltered. If anything, it’s grown wider, as if he’s completely unfazed by the situation. "Come on," he says, his voice full of quiet confidence as he gently squeezes your hand and leads you towards the shutter.

The stall is small but charming, with a bright yellow exterior and hand-painted menus plastered along the walls. Colourful string lights hang above it, though they’re unlit now, swaying lightly in the evening breeze. You notice a small table tucked beside the stall, probably a place for students to gather and chat as they wait for their orders. Everything about this place radiates warmth, even though it's currently closed.

Jongseong raises his hand and knocks on the metal shutter, the sound loud enough to startle a few birds perched nearby. Moments later, the shutter rolls up with a slow creak, revealing a boy wearing an apron and hairnet on the other side. His face lights up as he sees you both, his excitement palpable.

"Two to go, please," Jongseong grins at his friend, whose eyes gleam with understanding. Jake, nods enthusiastically, already bustling behind the counter. You quickly realise this is all part of Jongseong’s plan.

"You... how did you know he was in there?" you ask, confusion and amusement blending together as you look between Jake, who is clumsily wrapping up your food, and Jongseong, who’s leaning casually against the counter, looking as if everything is going perfectly to plan.

Jongseong’s cool demeanour makes you smile. "I know the owner," he says with a nonchalant shrug. "He let me borrow the hut for a minute."

In truth, Jongseong had to beg Woobin - the actual owner - to close up shop during peak hours. It wasn’t an easy feat. He had offered everything he could think of in exchange: guitar lessons, study help, and even his favourite hoodie. Woobin had eventually relented after enough pleading, but only on the condition that Jongseong wouldn’t touch the stock. Still, it worked out, and now here he is, pretending it was all effortlessly arranged.

"The normal guy isn’t here, though?" you ask, glancing at Jake, who looks completely out of his depth as he fumbles with the wrapping paper. It’s clear he doesn’t normally work here, but you can’t help but appreciate his enthusiasm.

Jongseong shifts slightly, his posture still casual, but you notice the flicker of nervousness in his eyes. He takes a breath, his voice calm but tinged with something deeper. "Ah, well... I cooked this meal."

The words hang in the air for a moment, and you see a flash of vulnerability in him, a rare crack in his otherwise confident exterior. He’s laid himself bare now. The pressure isn’t just about whether this date is going well - it’s about whether you’ll like his food. 

For Jongseong, cooking is an act of love. Growing up, it had always been how his family showed they cared. His mum, his grandmother, they had taught him that food was more than just sustenance. It was a way to express emotion, to bring people together. And now, he’s hoping you’ll understand that.

He watches you carefully, his heart pounding in his chest as he waits for your reaction. This isn’t just any meal. It’s his way of subtly showing you how much he could care for you, not just tonight, but for as long as you’ll have him. You can feel the weight of his unspoken words, the silent hope behind his playful banter. It’s more than just food; it’s a gesture, a glimpse into how deeply he’s already fallen for you.

Jake hands over the dishes with an exaggerated flourish, grinning from ear to ear. "Enjoy, my beautiful lovebirds," he says, winking at the two of you. You stifle a laugh, watching as Jongseong’s face flushes slightly, the tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink. He’s clearly embarrassed by his friend’s teasing, and for a moment, you think he might actually throttle Jake. But you, on the other hand, find it sweet - endearing even - and thank Jake with a bright smile, not at all put off by the comment.

Being lovebirds with Jongseong isn’t hard to imagine, not really.

As you and Jongseong approach the small table near the stall, you take a moment to appreciate the surroundings. It’s a simple wooden setup, aged from the constant exposure to student life - scuffed by countless bags, elbows, and books. Yet tonight, it feels like it’s transformed into something more intimate as if the evening air and the quiet chatter in the distance have turned it into your own private dining space. The string lights above the stall, though unlit, seem to glimmer faintly in the twilight, casting a soft glow over the scene. The air is cool, but not cold, carrying the faint scent of campus greenery and the distant hum of city life.

Jongseong pulls out one of the two chairs for you, a small gesture, but one that sends a flicker of warmth through you. As you sit, he unravels the paper bag, the rustling sound filling the air, and the intoxicating aroma of the food reaches your nose before you even see what’s inside.

The first thing you notice is the kimchijjigae. The spicy tang hits you instantly, its deep red broth shimmering with flavour. The scent of fermented cabbage, tofu, and gochugaru wafts up, causing your stomach to rumble in anticipation. Beside it are two perfectly portioned servings of fried rice, golden and inviting, alongside bindaetteok - crispy mung bean pancakes that look so perfectly golden-brown, you can almost hear the crunch as you imagine biting into them.

Everything looks so carefully prepared, yet it’s simple, unpretentious. The kind of food that speaks volumes about the one who made it. Your heart swells as you realise how much thought went into this meal, into every tiny detail. It's not just about the food, it's about the care behind it.

"You made all of this?" you ask softly, your voice tinged with awe as you gaze at the beautifully arranged dishes in front of you. Despite the simplicity, the food looks incredible, and you can feel the thought and effort poured into it. You glance up at Jongseong, your eyes filled with admiration.

He nods, handing you a cup of water after pouring it carefully from the bottle Jake had given him. "Yeah," he says, his tone casual, but there’s an underlying nervousness in his eyes, as if he’s waiting for your reaction, hoping you’ll like what he’s made. "Everything’s vegan too. I wasn’t sure if you had any dietary restrictions or didn’t eat meat, so I went with the safest option."

That small detail, the consideration behind it, makes your chest tighten. He had thought of everything. You’d never mentioned anything about your diet, yet he had gone out of his way to make sure the meal would suit you, just in case. It’s such a thoughtful gesture, so full of quiet care, that it nearly overwhelms you. It’s not just the food he’s offering - it’s a piece of himself, his heart wrapped up in every bite.

Your heart swells with affection, and you smile so widely it almost hurts. "That’s...incredibly thoughtful," you murmur, feeling the weight of what he’s done settle warmly in your chest. You’re not used to people putting this much effort into dates, let alone cooking a meal tailored to your needs without even knowing them. In fact, you don’t think anyone has ever put this much effort into you as a person. It makes you feel seen, cared for, in a way that surprises you.

Without another word, you take your chopsticks and carefully lift a small piece of bindaetteok, its crispy edges crackling slightly as you bite into it. The taste is immediate; crispy on the outside, soft and delicate inside, with a rich flavour that bursts on your tongue. It’s perfect, so perfectly seasoned and balanced that you can’t help but let out a small, delighted squeal.

Your eyes light up as you look at him, your hands coming together in a quick, enthusiastic clap. "Oh my God, Jongseong!" you exclaim, your excitement bubbling over as your feet bounce under the table. "This is amazing!"

Jongseong lets out a relieved laugh, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he watches your reaction. His eyes soften, filled with a quiet joy that he can’t quite put into words. "I’m glad you like it," he says, his voice a little quieter now, the relief and warmth evident in his tone. But there’s something more in his expression, a look of pure contentment as if seeing you happy has made all the anxiety he’s been feeling completely worth it.

He wants to make you this happy forever.

You dig into the rest of the food eagerly, trying the kimchijjigae next. The broth is spicy but comforting, the heat hitting you just right without being overwhelming. The fried rice is fluffy, with a subtle but rich taste that perfectly complements the other dishes. Every bite feels like a hug, the kind of meal that fills both your stomach and your heart.

As you eat and chatter, you can’t help but look at Jongseong, this boy who’s already managed to sweep you off your feet without even trying, your heart doing most of the soaring. You see the way he watches you, the small smile that tugs at his lips every time you take another bite or tell him another story. He’s nervous, but proud, clearly pleased that you’re enjoying the meal. And in that moment, you realise how much he’s already starting to mean to you. This is more than just a first date - it’s the beginning of something, something that feels real and full of possibility.

As you finish the last bite, you feel a surge of warmth spreading through you—not just from the food, but from the entire experience. The way Jongseong has thought through every detail, from the meal to the riddles, makes your heart swell with affection. You smile, letting the emotion seep into your voice as you look up at him. "Jongseong," you say softly, holding his gaze, "this was...perfect. Compliments to the chef."

Without missing a beat, Jongseong's face lights up with pride. He stands up with an exaggerated bow, playing up his role as the triumphant chef, and gives a few playful nods to an imaginary audience. His movements are full of cocky grace, a confidence that’s both endearing and maddening in the best way. You can’t help but laugh, your body suddenly feeling warmer at how effortlessly charming he is - this is depth to Jongseong that you desperately want to unravel, layer by layer.

In more ways than one.

Still glowing with laughter, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out another envelope, teasingly waving it in front of you. "Now," he says, his smirk growing wider, "you want the next envelope?"

Nodding eagerly, you can barely contain the glee and anticipation bubbling up inside you. The treasure hunt has been so fun, and now you’re ready to see what’s next.

"Okay," he begins, placing the envelope on the table in front of you, his eyes glinting with mischievous delight. "But first, you’ve got to answer my question."

You nod again, this time pretending to adopt a serious game face, your brows furrowing in faux concentration as you prepare yourself for whatever difficult question he’s about to ask.

"Who was the first person you ever went to see in concert?" Jongseong asks, leaning in, his smirk turning a little more playful.

Your confident expression falters as you immediately dissolve into laughter, the memory of your first concert flashing vividly in your mind. You cover your mouth with your hand, trying to suppress your giggles, but it’s no use. Jongseong raises an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly in curiosity. "Oh, there’s a story here, huh?" he prompts, grinning wider. "Is it embarrassing?"

"Not embarrassing... maybe," you begin, still giggling as the memory takes hold of you. "It was... an ‘In the Night Garden’ experience. I was seven years old, and I got to dance with them on stage." You snort, remembering how excited and utterly starstruck you were as a child.

Jongseong blinks once, then twice, as if trying to process the image, and then bursts out laughing. He leans back in his chair, throwing his head back with full, hearty laughter that echoes through the quiet evening air. It’s a deep, unrestrained laugh that makes your heart skip a beat, the kind that feels as warm and genuine as everything else about him. You join in, your laughter melding with his, both of you giggling like children at the sheer absurdity of your revelation.

"In the Night Garden?" he repeats, still chuckling, his voice filled with disbelief. "The kids' show? I was expecting you to say something like EXO or SHINee!"

You hide your face in your hands, the realisation dawning on you that it is, in fact, kind of embarrassing. But you can’t help but laugh at yourself. "I did see EXO and SHINee later on, but they weren’t my first!" you protest between giggles.

"You didn’t think to lie?" he teases, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Not at all," you say, your voice softening as the laughter dies down. There’s something wistful in your tone now, a hint of sincerity that catches even you by surprise. "I don’t want to lie to you, not about the silly stuff and…not about the serious stuff either."

For a moment, the air between you changes. The playful banter gives way to something deeper, a quiet understanding that passes between you. It’s as if, in this small moment, you’re both realising how much you want to be honest with each other - how much you want to truly know each other. You see Jongseong’s face shift, his teasing grin softening into something tender, something full of affection. He can see it, the way you’re falling a little deeper into him with every word, every shared laugh, and the joy that fills his face is undeniable. His eyes sparkle, and his lips curve into a smile so warm, it feels like a promise.

"Well," he says, pushing the envelope across the table toward you with a soft, satisfied sigh, "I think you’ve earned the next clue."

With a grin, you eagerly take the envelope, your fingers tingling with excitement as you carefully tear it open. The riddle inside reads:

"Under a bridge of lights, a river’s friend. Where music plays, the night will never end. So gather near, beneath the sky so bright, And hear the melodies that fill the night."

The moment you finish reading it, a confident smile spreads across your face. "Oh, this is easy," you say, wiggling your shoulders smugly. "It’s the Han River."

Jongseong nods, impressed but not surprised. "Of course. But there’s a little surprise waiting for you. Come on." He stands, holding out his hand to you, his eyes twinkling with proud knowing.

You take his hand instinctively, your fingers curling naturally around his. As you stand up, you find yourself moving closer to him, your bodies leaning into each other in a way that feels effortless, natural. The walk toward the river feels different, like every step brings you closer, not just physically but emotionally. The night air wraps around you, cool but pleasant, and the distant city lights shimmer like stars scattered along the horizon. The quiet hum of life around you fades into the background as your focus narrows to the warmth of Jongseong's hand in yours and the soft sound of your footsteps together.

Your heart beats steadily, not with nerves, but with a quiet certainty: you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

_

As you approach the Han River, the usual serene atmosphere is broken by the soft hum of excitement. A crowd is gathered by one section, and you spot people seated in a semi-circle, the area aglow with warm, delicate fairy lights and scattered fake candles that twinkle like stars against the night sky. Amps are neatly arranged around a modest stage setup, cables snaking across the ground as if drawing people into the intimate space. The whole scene feels like it’s been lifted from a dream—cosy, inviting, and charged with quiet anticipation.

You turn to Jongseong, eyebrows raised in question. "Is this one of those busking things?"

"Not just any busking thing," he corrects you, his grin widening as he pulls two tickets from his pocket. His excitement is hard to contain as he watches you inspect them.

Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes fall on the print: Sam Kim, filming for Begin Again Open Mic.

"How did you—?" you begin, stunned, unable to process how he’d managed to pull off something so incredible.

"I might have stalked your Instagram a bit," he admits with a sheepish chuckle, though his expression is anything but embarrassed. "Saw you post about him a few times and figured it was a sure thing.” The tickets weren’t easy to get, though, that part he isn’t telling you. He had to sell one of his precious guitars to make it happen, but the look on your face right now? Totally worth it. 

Your eyes well up, not from sadness, but from a deep, overwhelming appreciation. There’s something unfamiliar yet beautiful blooming in your chest, a warmth that spreads through you and makes your heart race in a way it hasn’t before. "Thank you so much, Jongseong," you whisper, the words falling out on their own. 

Never have you looked at a man and felt this way, and you don’t think you ever will unless it’s Jongseong.

Before you can stop yourself, you step forward and wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. At first, he seems caught off guard, his body stiffening for a moment. But then, as if the feeling clicks into place, he quickly relaxes into the hug, his arms encircling you with gentle but firm pressure. You feel him bury his face briefly into your hair, inhaling your scent, committing it to memory like it’s something precious he wants to hold onto. His warmth wraps around you like a protective shield, and for a second, the world fades away.

If this is what being with you is like, he never wants to spend another minute apart.

"Come on," he murmurs into your ear, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. "Let’s get our seats."

He leads you toward a blanket with his name written on a small tag in, neatly reserved in one of the best spots. As you approach, he helps you settle down onto the blanket, standing behind you attentively as you smooth out your skirt. It’s a simple gesture - making sure you’re comfortable, that your clothes are fixed just right and you don’t unwillingly flash the poor couple behind you - but it feels like so much more. Your skirt, a flowing, light fabric that swishes around your legs, catches the evening breeze as you adjust yourself, and you find yourself grateful for his thoughtfulness.

Once you’re seated, Jongseong slips down beside you, the space between you both comfortably close. He takes off his jacket and places it over your legs, to shield you from the biting cold wind from the river and reserve your modesty. 

Just as you settle in, the quiet murmur of the crowd dies down, and the soft strum of a guitar fills the air. Sam Kim steps onto the small, makeshift stage, his presence met with excited murmurs and appreciative applause from the audience.

You can’t believe it. Sam Kim, live and in person, just a few metres away. Your heart swells as the first notes of ‘Closer’ begin to play, the song wrapping around you like an old memory, one you didn’t realise you had been holding so close. The smooth timbre of Sam’s voice fills the cool night air, his words resonating deep within you.

You feel yourself lean instinctively toward Jongseong, and without hesitation, he wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer into his side. His warmth anchors you as the music washes over you both, your head resting lightly against his shoulder. He presses his chin softly atop your head, his hand lightly tracing your arm in slow, comforting strokes.

The tenderness of the moment, combined with Sam Kim’s voice singing about longing and love, stirs something deep inside you. As the next song begins - Seattle - its delicate melody and heartfelt lyrics unravel any composure you had left. Tears prick at your eyes, and you can’t help but let them fall as the song’s quiet emotion seeps into every fibre of your being. There’s something about the raw vulnerability in the music, in the moment, that makes it impossible to hold back.

Jongseong notices right away. Without a word, he gently tightens his hold on you, pulling you closer into him as if to shield you from the overwhelming emotion. He presses his lips softly against your temple in a tender, wordless gesture of comfort, his breath warm and steady against your skin.

As soon as his mouth makes contact with your skin, he feels sick in such a profound way, that all his love and realisation is now reaching from his toes, past his heart, and into his brain.

You glance up at him through your damp lashes, and he meets your gaze with such sincerity that your heart skips a beat. His eyes are full of unspoken promises, of quiet understanding. He doesn’t say anything, but the way he holds you, the way he looks at you, speaks louder than words ever could. In that moment, it feels like the music, the river, the night sky, and Jongseong are all blending together in perfect harmony.

The rest of the performance unfolds in a beautiful haze of music and soft touches. Each song Sam Kim plays feels like a gift, and by the time the last note fades into the night, you’re left with a feeling of warmth and connection that goes beyond the evening itself. It’s as though something shifted between you and Jongseong - a silent but profound acknowledgement that tonight was about more than just a date.

The final notes of the performance linger in the air, weaving through the soft hum of conversations around you. As the crowd begins to disperse, you wipe the last of your tears, touched not only by the music but by the entire night, Jongseong has crafted for you. His presence feels like an anchor, steady and reassuring amidst the emotional whirlpool of the evening.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" His voice is filled with concern, his gentle eyes scanning your face as though searching for any lingering sadness. You sense his earnestness, his desire to make sure every second of tonight was perfect for you. Jongseong knew you liked Sam Kim, but he hadn’t expected your deep connection to the music to stir such raw emotion in you. But now, seeing the impact it had, he’s certain Sam is officially his favourite artist too, simply because of what he’s done for you.

Smiling through the tenderness swelling in your chest, you nod and offer a playful pout. "I'm more than okay. Really, Jongseong, thank you so much for all of this. I don’t think I’ve ever had a date like this," you laugh, the joy bubbling up as you stand up, Jongseong quickly offering his hand to help you to your feet. His touch is light, but there’s an intimacy in the way he smooths out the wrinkles of your skirt, his fingers brushing over the fabric as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

A laugh escapes you again, this one softer, almost wistful. "I don’t even think I’ll ever have a date like this again."

But the truth behind your words hits deeper than you let on. You know someone like Jongseong is rare, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of soul. The universe doesn’t often gift the world people like him so easily, and yet here he is, standing before you, having planned the most thoughtful evening you’ve ever experienced. It feels like a miracle, like some kind of cosmic alignment that allowed you to meet him.

Jongseong, ever so sweet, tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear with a tenderness that makes your heart flutter. "Oh, you will," he says with a soft shake of his head, a playful yet sincere smile tugging at his lips. "Because I’m going to take you on dates bigger and better than this."

His words settle in your chest, a gentle promise that fills you with an almost dizzying sense of happiness. He’s not just thinking about tonight; he’s already imagining the future - your future together. What you don’t know is that during the mini-concert, as the singer’s voice crooned through the air, Jongseong was secretly planning the next date, and the one after that, and the next one after that one, and so many more. In his mind, he’s already picturing you both years down the line, holding hands when you’re old and grey, still laughing, still sharing moments like these. He’s jumping the gun here but that’s how much he wants you in his life, no, needs you in his life.

You reach up, your hand cupping his face, your thumb gently stroking the cool surface of his cheek. His skin feels smooth under your touch, but there’s a warmth beneath it, a warmth that spreads from him to you. "How about I plan the next one?" you offer, the words carrying a weight of confirmation - you want more. More moments like this, more laughter, more adventures. More him.

Jongseong’s eyes light up, his heart swelling with happiness. "Deal," he says, his voice low but laced with excitement. His gaze, however, drifts lower, his eyes falling to your lips. The air between you shifts, suddenly charged with a new kind of energy. He’s no longer just thinking about the next date; he’s thinking about now. The urge to kiss you swells inside him, consuming his thoughts. He wants to feel your lips on his, to communicate the emotions he hasn’t been able to fully express with words. His pulse quickens as he realises just how close you are, how easy it would be to lean in, close the gap, and make this night even more unforgettable.

You sense his desire, and a matching one blooms within you. Your heart beats faster as you step closer, rising onto your tiptoes. Slowly, almost hesitantly, you press your lips against his.

The kiss is soft at first, a delicate brush of skin against skin, but it carries the weight of all the unspoken feelings between you. Jongseong stills for a moment, his breath catching as he savours the sensation of your lips on his. There’s a gentleness in the way he kisses you, a quiet reverence as though he’s afraid to break the spell. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, his fingers threading through your hair as he deepens the kiss, but never rushes. Each movement is careful, slow, filled with a tenderness that makes your heart swell.

Your body tingles with warmth, a soft hum of pleasure spreading through you as you kiss him back. The world around you fades into the background—the quiet murmur of the river, the distant buzz of people - all of it disappearing as you lose yourself in the moment. His lips are warm and inviting, moulding perfectly to yours as though they were always meant to fit together. It’s sweet and unhurried, as if you have all the time in the world to explore the depth of this feeling.

As the kiss lingers, you feel the intensity of his emotions bleeding through, each press of his lips a silent confession. He’s telling you, without words, how much he’s already fallen for you. How he’s imagined a future with you, a lifetime of nights like this one. There’s a vulnerability in the kiss, an openness that makes your chest tighten with something more than affection. It feels like trust, like promise, like everything you’ve ever wanted but didn’t know you needed.

When you finally pull away, your breath mingles with his in the cool night air, your lips tingling with glee. His eyes are still closed, savouring the aftertaste of the kiss, as though he’s replaying it in his mind, etching it into his memory.

You both stand there for a moment, soaking in the adoration that seems to swirl around you. The Han River, mixed with the lights of the busking, and the love in the aire from the other couples, you feel it, all so immensely. Something has shifted. This isn’t just the start of something new - it’s the beginning of something deeply powerful. Something neither of you can quite put into words yet, but both of you feel it. It’s in the way he looks at you, in the way your lips just met, and in the way your hearts are already intertwining, bonding you to him for a lifetime.

Pulling himself away from the moment, Jongseong opens his eyes and grins down at you, kissing your forehead, desperate to keep his lips on you in some way. “Ready for the next one?”

“Oh, Absolutely.” Your answer is so self-assured and confident, there is no apprehension in your tone, only sheer enthusiasm to spend every waking minute with him.

Jongseong feels the same way, maybe even more than you. And he can’t wait for the day he gets to tell you how he fell in love with you in this moment.

_____

Laying in Jongseong’s bed, you slouch lazily against his headboard as you lose yourself in the words on your Kindle. The paragraphs of The Handmaiden grip you, pulling you into their twisted world, stirring a whirlwind of emotions inside you - a cocktail of disgust, hope, fear, and love. Love especially lingers on your mind, but little do you know that someone beside you is feeling that emotion just as intensely, perhaps even more, because the reason for his swirling heart is real and currently wearing his AC/DC t-shirt.

He stares at you engrossed in your book and for some strange, inexplicable reason, his chest feels tight and the pressure behind his eyes hurt, like he is a bottle of coke and there is a packet of Mentos just landing inside his soul.

"I fucking love you so much," Jongseong says suddenly, his voice soft yet undeniably passionate, carrying a depth that cuts through the silence of the room like a bolt of lightning. His body language or facial expression doesn’t change, in fact, the feeling has been inside of him for so long that speaking the words into fruition doesn’t change a thing about him. 

You freeze, the words on your screen blurring as your mind tries to process what you just heard.  Did he really say that? Maybe you misheard him. “What?” you ask, turning your head to face him, and once you see the sincerity in his face and the fire in his eyes, your heart begins to race, and your question is answered.

“I love you,” he repeats, more pointed this time so you know there is not even a wiggle of doubt, his eyes locked onto yours with a look so sincere it leaves you breathless. “More than my heart or my chest can hold in.” 

His confession takes you completely by surprise. It feels so sudden, so unexpected, that for a moment, you’re left speechless. You knew he cared deeply for you - his actions and gentle gestures have always spoken louder than words - but hearing it now, on a random Wednesday night, three months into your relationship, when you were just lounging in his bed, didn’t seem like his style at all. 

And you were right, Jongseong was always the one for grand gestures, for perfectly planned moments. He wanted to tell you over a candlelit dinner, complete with a big speech about all the reasons he fell for you, fighting the urge to tell you on your very first date. But he knew his feelings, he couldn’t deny them nor did he ever want to, however, maybe blurting out ‘I love you’ when he didn’t even know your favourite colour was a bit quick, so he decided to wait for the perfect moment, which he had guessed would be planned.

But there’s something so genuine about this moment - him saying it while you’re here, wearing his oversized t-shirt, your glasses perched on your nose, so absorbed in your book that you didn't even realise he was watching you. There’s no grand setup, no orchestrated plan - just pure, unfiltered feeling. Sometimes, you don’t need a big, fancy gesture; sometimes, the love is enough.

His hand reaches out to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. His touch pulls you in, makes you forget about everything else except him and the love reflected in his eyes. Somehow, he looks even more beautiful than he did 10 minutes ago.

You place your Kindle to the side, giving him your full attention, and clasp his fingers with yours, feeling the steady thrum of his pulse under your touch. “You love me?” you whisper, almost as if saying it too loudly might shatter the magic of this moment.

“Of course I do,” he replies, his voice as easy as breathing, because that’s exactly what it feels like to him. Falling in love is supposed to be scary and daunting, placing your heart in the palms of someone who could break it with one wrongdoing is enough to put people off giving and receiving the emotion. But Jongseong? He would give you every part of his body for you to keep hold of - for you to own. You are everything he needs in life, the only person he would start a war for, he trusts you completely; he has never felt anything this strongly before. 

Your chest feels like it’s suddenly desperate to connect with his, to close the gap between you both and merge yourselves as one whole being. His words sink into you, filling spaces you didn’t even know were empty. 

With a shaky breath, you hold back a tiny sob, the aura in the room too overwhelming for your heart. But not overwhelming enough to stop you from saying how you feel. “I love you too, Jongseong,” you confess, your voice trembling slightly, but not with uncertainty - rather with the sheer intensity of the truth.

He looks at you, searching your face for any hint of doubt. It’s not that he doesn’t believe you, but it’s just the slight thread of insecurity in being so vulnerable with someone. "You mean it? You aren’t just saying it out of obligation? Because you do-”

You interrupt him, squeezing his hands tighter. “I mean it. More than anything else that has ever left my mouth. I love you.”

A Cheshire smile breaks across his face, bright and unrestrained. He grabs your face in a rush, his big hands enveloping your cheeks as he begins to pepper kisses all over your face - your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, every inch of skin he sees squished between his palms - until you’re giggling uncontrollably. 

“Jongseong!” you squeal, your laughter infectious, and thus he keeps going, pinning you down gently, his weight warm and secure over you, his lips finding every spot that makes you laugh even harder until your sides hurt. This is what love is supposed to feel like, childlike and free, just as you two always are.

You are in love. So incredibly in love.

When he finally stops, he rests his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “I will love you until my dying breath, Y/N L/N,” he promises, his voice low and solemn. The serious current that accompanies the joy in his voice tells you all you need to know, instilling you with confidence that this man means every word and every emotion he is pouring into you.

A grin spreads across your lips, and you can’t help the heartfelt response that tumbles out: “I’ll love you until we’re food for the worms to eat.”

Your morbid but romantic description makes his heart thump, his expression turning even brighter. He laughs, a rich, melodic sound that fills the room, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, looking at you like you’re the only girl in the world. “Had to one-up me, huh?” he jokes.

“You know me, always one step extra,” you tease, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt.

The kiss starts slow, tender - a soft press of lips that speaks of newfound confessions and the quiet promise of forever. His lips are warm, moving gently against yours, and you can feel the way his breath hitches like he’s savouring every second, every little brush of skin against skin. Your hands find their way into his hair, tugging slightly, eliciting a low, rumbling groan from deep within his chest.

The kiss turns heated, a spark catching flame as his hands slide down your body, tracing the curve of your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. He slots his body between your legs, his hips situated on yours as his member hilts against you. Your legs spread wider to let him fully lay on top of you, your boyfriend’s heart kissing your own with each beat.

His lips part, deepening the kiss, and you respond in kind, matching his intensity. The world around you blurs; all you can feel is the heat of his body against yours, the way his lips mould perfectly with yours, and the electric current that courses through you with every touch, every breath. 

Jongseong’s hand grips your hip, fingers digging in just enough to make you shiver, and his lips move with a hunger that matches the rapid beat of your heart. He’s pouring everything into this kiss - all his love, his need, his promise - until you’re both breathless and burning with a desire that you never want to end.

The kiss breaks for just a moment, enough for both of you to catch your breath and him to discard your t-shirt, but Jongseong’s lips don’t leave your skin for long. His forehead rests against yours, and the two of you share a lingering moment of closeness, eyes locked, hearts pounding in sync. There’s an unspoken understanding between you, a shared desire that flows in the charged air between you.

With a soft, almost reverent touch, Jongseong begins trailing kisses along your jawline, slow and deliberate, as though he’s memorizing every inch of your skin with his lips. Each kiss is a whisper of warmth, igniting sparks of pleasure that ripple through your body. You tilt your head back, giving him access, and he doesn’t waste a second. His mouth continues its descent, moving down to your neck where he plants open-mouthed kisses, his tongue brushing lightly against your pulse point, causing a shudder to run through you.

His hands, warm and steady, explore the curves of your body as he works his way lower, lips grazing the sensitive skin of your collarbone. He lingers there for a heartbeat, nipping gently before soothing the spot with his tongue. Your fingers tangle in his hair, urging him on, and he responds with a low growl that reverberates against your skin, sending a fresh wave of heat through you.

Jongseong shifts, his lips now trailing down to the valley between your breasts, each kiss more purposeful, more heated than the last. His breath is hot, his touch sure, and every movement, every press of his lips, leaves you aching for more. You arch your back, pushing yourself into him, craving the sensation of his mouth on your body.

As he continues his descent, kissing lower and lower, until he is at the band of your panties, his breath fans across your skin, and the anticipation builds with every second, every soft press of his lips against you.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he murmurs between kisses, his voice thick with adoration.

You giggle, hiding your face at the chanting confession. You can’t believe a man so perfect is in love with you. Gently, you run your fingers through his hair and pout down at him, “I love you, too.”

The words brush down your torso and into Jongseong’s ears, eliciting a smile from him. That is all he has wanted to hear, from the moment he met you. He knows love like this is precious, and he never intends to waste it.

Carefully, his fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts and pull them down, your legs instinctively opening, showcasing your bare, glistening pussy for your boyfriend to see. It’s delicious, succulent, and all entirely for him to devour.

"So fucking pretty," he whispers, sending chills down your spine. The room feels hotter as he settles between your legs, tongue poking through his lips oh so teasingly to wet them, your clit weaping for attention. He does this to you a lot, makes your body react in ways it never has before, even after your first date you felt your panties soaking more and more to the point you dragged him into your dorm room and fucked him. 

Was it a smart idea to fuck a man on the first date? Not usually, but you knew from that day that you were willing to spend the rest of your life with him so, what was the harm in some fun?

Kissing your clit, Jongseong looks up to watch you as he always does, loving the way your face conveys the pleasure you feel. Even the simplest of touches has you under his mercy. As he begins to lap at your core with his tongue, you can't help but clutch his hair, your fingers tangled in the strands as you grind into his face. Your back lifts from the bed as you seek even more pleasure.

Overcome with how you taste, he doesn’t even register your fingers in his hair, pulling at it harshly when he circles your clit with his tongue. You’re so wet as he slurps you up but there’s so much it’s dripping onto his chin. It serves as motivation to keep going, to pleasure you as much as possible, to show you how much he wants to devour you, both body and soul.

Jongseong doesn’t get pussy drunk with girls, but he does with you. Addicted to the taste and smell of you, he just wants to rub himself all over you, covering himself in your slick as if to scent him, like you’re both wolves in some ABO universe.

“Don’t stop, Jongseong,” you groan out, the backs of your feet digging into his back as you pin him down as best you can, signalling to him your need for more. 

Smirking at your desperation, Jongseong’s tongue runs itself along your entrance and it makes you buckle, pushing his head in further. He continues his effort, making you a panting mess. His tongue was a gift from God and you’ll need to thank the big man later when you meet him for blessing you with a sex-god boyfriend.

A sex-god boyfriend who is in love with you.

Dipping his tongue in a few times helps him gauge how tight you are, seeing how much prep he needs to give you before he can fuck his love into you. As if reading his lewd thoughts, he feels your pussy squeezing, his tongue taking advantage and swirling around to hit more circumference of your walls. 

“I can’t wait to be inside of you, baby. To show you how much i really love you.”

It’s funny that he thinks sex would showcase his love any more than his eyes and heart already do. You know he loves you, you might have been shocked at how abruptly he said it tonight, but you’ve always known. It’s in the way he kisses you, how he cooks dinner for you even after long days, and it’s in how he would give up anything to see you happy.

Your clit is suddenly being simulated by his nose, it poking at it slightly the more bountiful he inserts his tongue. It feels otherworldly, “Jongseong, s’good, so good, fuck,” Your fingers harshly massage his scalp as you wiggle, close to cumming.

He knows it too, you’re dripping so much it’s leaking over half of his face. It’s so fucking hot how you’re a mess like this, just for him, only for him. Jongseong switches his tactics, lips now encircled around your clit and sucking harshly on it, the new sensation causing you to cry out, a new wave of your juices dripping down his chin and onto his bedsheets 

And just a few seconds later, you’re coming undone. 

Jongseong, ever pleased with himself, cleans you up with his tongue, sucking up the slick that’s flowing form your hole and drinking it greedily. You taste so good he could spend hours down here. But unfortunately, and selfishly, he needs to fuck you. Right here, right now.

Wiping your essence from his mouth, Jongseong crawls up over your body, placing gentle kisses up your torso, past your heaving chest, and back to your lips. He stares at you with something deep in his iris’, a promise that he will always make you feel this inspired, this gleeful, and never cause you any harm. 

When you’re so in love with someone, all the emotions come with it. And while you both encompass the very being of adoration and love, sometimes that red that represented your passion for one another, turned into a shade none of you liked.

_____

Your heels slam against the tiled floor of the hallway as you march through the dimly lit corridor of your apartment building, the sound echoing like the beating of a war drum. Every step sends a jolt through your aching feet, but the pain is nothing compared to the simmering rage boiling in your veins. You fumble for your keys, hands trembling with a mix of exhaustion and fury, the metallic clinking of the keyring mocking your every failed attempt. When you finally manage to fit the key into the lock, it sticks, just like it always does. You curse under your breath - a small, infuriating reminder of the list of things that should have been fixed, but like so many other things lately, were neglected.

You give the door a sharp push, the old wood groaning in protest as it swings open, the gust of night air brushing over your flushed skin, cooling the anger that’s blazing just beneath the surface. Without thinking, you slam it shut behind you, the force sending a jolt through your arm as the door rebounds off something - or rather, someone. Your boyfriend. The door collides with his face, eliciting a pained grunt as he catches it just in time to prevent further damage.

“Really, Y/N?” he groans, rubbing his jaw where the door had made contact. His voice is strained, more exasperated than angry, but it only fuels the fire burning inside you.

You toss your clutch onto the nearby table with a careless flick of your wrist, the sharp clatter slicing through the tense silence. Kicking off your shoes with more force than necessary, you whirl around to face him, your vision clouded by a searing flash of red-hot anger. You know you should apologise, at least for the door, but the apology sticks in your throat, smothered by the bitterness that’s bubbling up like a storm ready to burst.

Raking your fingers through your hair, you grip tightly at the roots, desperate to hold onto something, anything, to stop yourself from unravelling completely. “I don’t even want to look at you right now,” you spit, voice thick with venom, every word dripping with the weight of betrayal. Your expression twists into one of pure disgust as if just the sight of him is enough to set you off all over again.

You spin on your heel, determined to escape, but before you can make it to the sanctuary of your bedroom, you feel his gentle grip on your elbow. It’s a light touch, but it might as well be ironclad, and despite every fibre of your being screaming to pull away, you find yourself turning back to him, drawn by a force you can’t quite resist. You wish you could fight it - fight him, fight this magnetic pull that always seems to reel you back in - but your heart, traitorous as it is, weakens at his touch.

His eyes are steady, calm even, but the way his jaw tenses betrays the storm brewing beneath his composed exterior. You can see the flicker of frustration in the tightness of his clenched teeth, but it’s not directed at you; it’s aimed at the mess that’s wedged its way between the two of you, threatening to tear apart everything you’ve built together. He’s not angry with you, not even a little, but you can see the weariness in his gaze - the weight of a thousand unspoken words hanging between you like a fog.

“Too bad, because I don’t care if you don’t want to see me. We’re talking this out right now,” he says, his voice low but firm. He is not letting you stew in this mess, he hates the way your brain works, how it overthinks for hours, creating a mountain out of a molehill when he knows that one simple conversation can solve all problems.

He does fear that this might not be solved with a quick debate and kiss. This is going to take more than that.

You yank your arm away, swallowing the painful lump forming in your throat as you catch the brief flash of hurt in his eyes, like a knife twisting deeper. “Oh, sorry,” you snap, sarcasm dripping from your words, the sound bitter in your mouth. “What would you like to discuss first? The fact that you embarrassed me in front of my entire family and ruined my sister’s engagement party, or the fact that you punched my dad?”

Each word leaves your lips like a punch, each accusation sharper than the last. You watch as his calm exterior fractures, his eyes flickering with a cocktail of regret, anger, and something you can't quite place. The room feels like it’s closing in, the air heavy with the weight of things said and unsaid, as the silence between you sharpens, poised to snap at any moment.

Jongseong flinches, his expression flickering for a moment, the crack in his composure barely visible but unmistakable to you. He’s always been so unshakable, so infuriatingly composed during moments like this, and for a split second, you see the vulnerability beneath the mask - the guilt, the pain, the anger at himself. But he quickly steels himself, his gaze locking onto yours with a resolve that sends a shiver down your spine.

“You think I wanted that to happen?” he shoots back, his voice low and rough, trembling slightly with the effort of keeping it steady. His eyes bore into yours, dark and intense, as if searching for some kind of understanding in the sea of your fury. “You think I planned to lose it like that? That I wanted to make a scene in front of your whole family?”

His words hang heavy in the air, every syllable a plea for you to see him, to see the mess of emotions churning inside him, but all you can feel is the sting of humiliation, the sharp edge of betrayal slicing through your chest. 

The scene replays in your mind like a broken film reel, each frame more painful than the last. Your father’s slurred words, the way Jongseong’s posture stiffened, the moment things spiralled from heated words to fists flying. You remember the sickening thud of your father hitting the ground, the horrified gasps, and the wave of whispers that rippled through the room. Your heart had dropped to the floor along with him, and in that split second, everything had shattered - your sister’s engagement, your mother’s fragile composure, and the image you’d built of the man you loved. You can still hear the murmurs, each one laced with judgment, each one a knife twisting deeper.

Your dad has always been a kind man at heart, but the bottle changes him into someone unrecognisable, a man who lets the worst parts of himself spill out. You remember the nights as a child, hiding in your room while your parents fought, your mother’s angry voice telling him to sober up or get out, how he would vomit over the living room floor and have no recollection of it in the morning. It’s those memories - the helplessness, the fear, the shame - that have kept you from ever picking up a drink. 

You vowed never to touch the stuff, never to let alcohol turn you into someone altered, and Jongseong understood that about you from the start after you trusted him with your memories. He made the promise to you that night, quitting the moment you told him how much it meant to you, swearing he would never touch another drop again. You didn’t ask him too, he simply did it because that’s how much he loves you.

You step back, folding your arms across your chest, a protective barrier against the storm brewing between you. “You punched my dad, Jongseong!” you shout, your voice cracking under the strain of holding back tears. “You humiliated me in front of everyone. My mom was crying, my sister - God, do you even know what you did to her tonight? It was supposed to be her moment, and you ruined it!”

He steps forward, reaching out as if to touch you, to comfort you, but you take another step back, the distance between you widening. The urge to let him hold you, to fall into his arms and let the weight of tonight melt away is so strong it hurts, but you can’t. Not yet. Not when everything is still so raw, so jagged.

Jongseong breathes out and calms himself, “Listen to me,” he steps forward once again and he’s relieved that you don’t move. “I should not have acted like that, and that is what I am sorry for. But I will not let a man who has caused you so much pain talk about you like you are less than what you are. As long as my heart is beating, even when it stops, I will protect you from anything and anyone. I do not care if it’s family, or a stranger, or even yourself. You mean more to me than any other person on this planet and if I think for a second your heart is in danger, I am willing to do anything to protect it.”

His words hang in the air, raw and intense, vibrating with a passion that cuts through the tension like a blade. His gaze is locked onto yours, unwavering, filled with a fierce, almost desperate determination that pulls at something deep inside you. He’s closer now, just a step away, and you can feel the heat radiating off him, mingling with the cold ache of your own heartbreak. For a moment, all the noise in your head quiets, leaving only the thundering rhythm of your own heartbeat and the weight of his promise.

The room feels smaller, the walls closing in as the intensity of the moment settles around you. You’re torn between the anger that still simmers beneath your skin and the undeniable pull toward him, the man who’s both your solace and, tonight, your greatest source of pain. Jongseong’s words are like a salve, and though they don’t erase what happened, they start to soothe the jagged edges of your hurt. You can see the fear in his eyes - fear of losing you, of becoming the person you’ve always dreaded. There’s a vulnerability in him now, raw and unguarded, and it stirs something soft within you.

You take a deep breath, letting the tension drain from your shoulders, just a little. Your grip on the anger loosens, and the tight knot in your chest begins to unfurl, replaced by a slow, tentative warmth. Your fingers twitch, wanting to reach out, but you keep them at your sides, not quite ready for the full embrace of forgiveness but open to something gentler, something that feels like understanding.

“Jongseong,” you start, your voice quieter now, less a weapon and more a tentative bridge. “I know you meant well. I know you were trying to stand up for me. But you have to understand… that’s not what I need. I don’t need you to fight for me like that. I don’t need you to get angry on my behalf. I just need you to be here, to help me feel safe. Not like…” You trail off, your eyes dropping to the floor as you fight to find the words. “Not like this. We’ve been together for 5 years now, I told you my dad has his moments like this and as a family, we all chose to stick by him and support him, for mum’s sake. He is trying and sometimes he slips. Punching him and lashing out because he said some stupid shit he won’t remember in the morning isn’t the answer, it’s not what I want from you.”

Jongseong’s expression softens, the fierce determination in his eyes giving way to something deeper, more regretful. Honestly, he hates that you’re all so kind to a man who has caused you grief and misery your entire life, but you, your mum, and your sister are the kindest souls in the universe, it’s in your nature to see the good in people. Jongseong wishes your dad saw you all that way too, rather than taking advantage of the chances you give him.

He steps closer, his hand finally making contact with your skin and you instantly calm, the weight of his palm on your cheek grounding you. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he repeats, his voice breaking slightly, carrying the weight of his remorse. “I know what I did was stupid. I still don’t regret it,” he admits, his honesty ringing clear despite the regret in his tone. “I’d fight anyone who tried to hurt you, physically or emotionally. That’s how much you mean to me.”

You look up at him, the tears you’d been holding back now spilling freely. His confession doesn’t erase the pain, but it does offer a window into his heart - a heart that, despite its flaws and mistakes, beats fiercely in your defence. You can see the struggle in his eyes, the conflict between his protective instincts and the reality of his actions.

“I know,” you whisper, your voice quiet but unwavering. “I know you’d do anything to protect me. But if we’re going to be a family - when we get married - you’ll be part of all this. You have to understand that. You have to respect my mum and dad’s needs.” Your words are a bridge between your love for him and your love for your family. “If you can’t do that, then I can’t let you be a part of their lives. I need you to know that.”

Your voice trembles slightly at the weight of what you’re saying, and the look in Jongseong’s eyes shifts. He doesn’t speak right away, but his silence is filled with understanding. You can see your words land like stones in his chest, the gravity of your family’s importance settling in. He knows how much they mean to you, and the unspoken warning lingers: if he messes this up again, there’s no way forward. The very thought of a future without you sends a ripple of fear through him. He’s never imagined that possibility because, to him, there is no option. He won’t let it happen.

His stomach churns at the idea of losing you, but his hope brightens as you say ‘when we get married’ rather than ‘if’. “I’ll do better, Y/N. I promise, I’ll support you in whatever way you need me to.” His shoulders drop slightly as if conceding to the truth you’ve laid bare between you. “You’re strong. I should’ve known that, and I’m sorry for not trusting that strength.” His remorse is palpable, and you can feel the weight lifting slightly from your chest, the anger and hurt that had clouded your mind beginning to dissipate.

The room seems to settle, the tension slowly dissolving into something calmer, something more manageable. You look up at the man you love, really look at him, and see how much he truly cares - how deeply he regrets what happened, not just for you, but for everyone. His eyes are sincere, remorse shining in their depths, and for the first time since the night began to spiral, you feel a sense of peace.

You exhale, your own apology forming on your lips as the fog of anger clears from your brain. “I’m sorry too. For lashing out, for hitting you with the door…it was childish. I shouldn’t have acted like that.” A flush of embarrassment heats your face, the shame of your actions making you feel small.

Jongseong reaches up to rub his jaw, faking a wince, and thankfully, the playful gesture lightens the air between you. “Nothing a kiss can’t sort out,” he teases, his lips quirking into a small, pouting smile, trying to bring a bit of levity to the conversation.

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Let’s just make sure we don’t cause a fiasco at any more engagement parties, okay?”

Jongseong chuckles slightly, his grin widening as he tilts his head. “What if it’s at ours? Do I get groom rights to cause chaos then?”

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms as you play along. “Well, you’d have to propose first for me even to consider that.”

Jongseong’s eyes twinkle with mischief and that same love that has always projected through from his soul as he leans in, lowering his voice to a playful whisper. “Just you wait, baby.”

_____

The heavy wooden doors of the chapel creak open, and Jongseong straightens his suit jacket, his fingers smoothing over the fabric of the black suit you had so carefully picked out for him. It’s tailored to perfection, hugging his broad shoulders and tapering down to a sleek fit at his waist. The crisp white shirt underneath feels a little too tight around his collar, not because of the fit, but because of the sheer enormity of the day. He inhales deeply, gathering all the breath he knows he’ll lose the second he begins his walk down the aisle.

At 34 years old, he’s finally getting married, and it still feels surreal. Even this morning, as he stood in front of the mirror, carefully adjusting his tie, it all felt more nerve-wracking than he could have imagined. His hands trembled slightly, not with doubt but with anticipation. It isn’t cold feet - far from it. Marrying you is the most certain thing he’s ever felt. In fact, the only thing weighing on his chest isn’t whether or not he’s making the right choice - it’s the fact that, for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re not by his side.

Last night, the night before your wedding, was the longest you’ve spent apart in years. You’d stayed with your sister, following the superstition that the bride and groom shouldn’t see each other before the ceremony, and while it seemed trivial at first, Jongseong missed you more deeply than he ever thought possible. Since that party so many years ago, he’s spent every moment he could by your side, and now, after sharing a home, building a life together, the thought of you not being there in his bed last night left an ache he hadn’t expected.

It wasn’t the marriage that was causing him anxiety. He couldn’t wait to marry you—to say the vows, to see you in your wedding dress, to call you his wife. No, what had his stomach in knots was the thought of walking down the aisle with all eyes on him. The idea of being the centre of attention, of every gaze following his every move, from the ball of his foot to the tip of his toes, made his skin crawl. Even as a kid, Jongseong hated being the focus of a room. 

You’d always been the one to handle social situations with grace, navigating crowds, talking to guests, and subtly keeping the two of you out of the spotlight when he needed it. God, he wished you were here right now to hold his hand and whisper something to ease his nerves.

But of course, you weren’t. Tradition had stolen you away from him this morning, and now, he had to face this moment alone. The chapel, though filled with friends and family, felt overwhelmingly empty without you by his side. His heart pounded harder in his chest as the reality of the moment hit him.

Suddenly, the soft notes of music swelled from the organ, pulling him from his thoughts. It was the cue the wedding planner had told him about, the signal that it was time for him to make his way down the aisle. He stood still for a moment, nodding to himself as he acknowledged what lay ahead. The attention, the eyes on him, the anxious fluttering in his chest - it would all be worth it the second he saw you at the other end of the aisle.

With a deep breath, he steps forward. His polished black shoes make a quiet click against the stone floor of the chapel, the sound echoing in the stillness of the room. Jongseong’s gaze flickers up briefly, catching sight of familiar faces in the pews. His mother, sitting proudly near the front, offers him a warm, reassuring smile. He tries to return it, but it feels stiff, nerves still crawling beneath his skin. His father gives him a subtle nod of encouragement, and Jongseong straightens his back, feeling the weight of their support behind him.

As he continues to walk, the scent of lilies and roses, the same ones you picked out together for the ceremony, fills the air. Sunlight streams in through the stained-glass windows, casting vibrant colours across the chapel floor - deep reds, purples, and golds dancing around his feet like blessings from above. He hears the faint rustle of fabric as guests turn their heads to watch him, but he keeps his eyes forward, focusing on the path ahead.

His palms are sweaty, and his pulse quickens with each step. The aisle feels impossibly long, like a steep hill with a drinking fountain waiting at the top. The rows of guests stretch on and on. Jongseong fights the urge to tug at his collar, to loosen the tie just a bit, but he knows it won’t help. Nothing can calm the storm inside him except you.

But as he nears the front, something shifts. The nervousness, the anxiety of being under watchful eyes, begins to ebb away, replaced by something else. Anticipation. Because just after this walk, after these few moments of discomfort, comes you. The love of his life. His future.

He greets your family with fondness and love as he reaches the end. Each one has become integral to his life, the definition of his second family. Jongseong's smile softens as he approaches them and offering a slight bow in respect. 

His future mother-in-law is sitting to the side, her eyes filled with warmth. Her hands are clasped tightly in her lap, fingers intertwined, though her expression is calm and composed. She has always been a strong presence in your life, and he feels the same quiet strength radiating from her now. She nods to him, her lips curving into a gentle smile that puts him a little more at ease. There’s a silent understanding between them - one forged through shared moments, family dinners, and heart-to-heart talks that had transformed Jongseong from a visitor into a son.

Standing next to your other bridesmaids is your sister, fidgeting slightly with the lace of her dress, her excitement palpable as the number one supporter in this relationship. She beams up at him, her eyes twinkling. She’s always been the one to bring lightness into any room, to ease tension with a well-timed joke or a teasing comment, and seeing her now, vibrant and full of life, reminds him of all the times she’d teased him for being so nervous about today. Her laughter and encouragement had helped him through many anxious moments, and her unspoken support right now is a comfort he hadn’t realised he needed.

They are his family now, just as much as his own parents sitting a few rows behind, and knowing that fills him with a sense of belonging.

Jongseong takes his position at the altar, trying to shake off the nervous tension building inside him. His friend Sunghoon is already there, waiting with a grin that’s equal parts mischief and pride. Sunghoon, who had been there for every milestone in his relationship, claps him on the back. It's surreal for both of them; after all, it was Sunghoon who dragged Jongseong to that dreadful party where you first met. Sunghoon had refused to let Jongseong skip it, even though Jongseong had dramatically declared he’d rather run naked through a field of nettles than attend. Now, Sunghoon stands by his side, proud of the role he played in bringing you both together and wearing the title of groomsman like a badge of honour.

"You look like you're about to get married," Sunghoon teases, laughter dancing in his voice. From where he stands, Sunghoon sees his best friend transformed. Jongseong’s usual cool demeanour is present, but there’s a deeper layer today - one of anticipation and raw emotion. His usually steady hands are clenched slightly, his jaw a little tighter than usual. Sunghoon notices all these small signs, but underneath them, he can see that Jongseong is just waiting to call you his wife, the need to call you Mrs. Park is what’s making him shake.

"Yeah? Too overdressed?" Jongseong jokes, trying to mask the nerves that refuse to leave him completely.

"Just a little," Sunghoon nudges him playfully. His smile fades into something more sincere. "You ready?"

Jongseong takes a deep breath before responding, his voice quiet but confident. "I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready in my life." He ignores the whispers and murmurs from the crowd, sounds he can't quite decipher. Will they be bad? Probably not, but that doesn’t stop his brain from trying to twist them into something else. What if they all think you’re settling? Still, he pushes it all aside, focusing on the one thing that matters: you.

He is so excited to see you. You had kept everything a secret - your dress, your hair, even down to your nails. He had tried every trick in the book to get even the smallest detail out of you, from sweet persuasion to playful pestering. He’d casually ask while you were busy with wedding plans or playfully guess what colour you might be wearing, trying to gauge your reaction. Each time, though, you would just smile coyly and shake your head, refusing to give anything away. Jongseong had groaned in mock frustration, but deep down, he knew it would be worth the wait. He was absolutely certain you’d look breathtaking, no matter what. You always look like the most beautiful person in the world, like the earth around you, only blooms to keep up with your beauty.

Sunghoon grins, breaking Jongseong’s thoughts. "I saw her earlier, y'know. Tried to talk her out of making a massive mistake." His tone is light, there’s no mistaking the fondness in his eyes. Sunghoon had actually visited you before the ceremony, not to convince you of anything, but to tell you how happy he was that you had come into Jongseong’s life. He had joked that he wanted a child named after him, but beneath the teasing, he was sincere. He told you how lucky he felt to witness true love up close, to see two people so in sync that it was like watching a real-life fairytale.

For Sunghoon, it was like one of the bedtime stories he read to his daughter, tales of love that transcended everything else. Sometimes, when he read those stories, his mind would drift to you and Jongseong, imagining the two of you as the characters destined for each other. Even his wife is amazed by the connection you share - two people who fit together so effortlessly that it was hard to believe. Sunghoon and his wife love one another so much, but they can recognise that you and Jongseong’s love is once in a lifetime, and they learn so much from you.

"Yeah? How did she look?" Jongseong asks, his voice tinged with hope. "Nervous? Cold feet? She’s definitely coming, right?"

Sunghoon throws his head back, laughing loudly, the sound echoing through the quiet church, eliciting some confusion on the faces of the guests. "She looks way out of your league, but no, she’s not nervous. She’s ready. In fact, she told me to let you know that you should cry when you see her. If you don’t, she’s marrying Jake instead."

Right on cue, Jake, the other groomsman, pops his head over Sunghoon’s shoulder with a wide grin. "And I will marry her in a minute, so you better get those waterworks going."

Jongseong can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all. But he knows you’re serious about the tears. Your man is not one for crying, he rarely feels the need for tears, but he has a sneaking suspicion you’re going to get your wish.

The music starts, and Jongseong stiffens, his heart slamming against his ribs as if it’s trying to escape his chest and rush down the aisle to meet you. It’s only been a night since he last saw you, but to him, it feels like an eternity. The shared bed had felt too big, too cold without you beside him, and in that quiet space, he realized just how much you completed him. He missed you, and though it might seem dramatic, the longing reminded him that this wasn’t just about nerves. It was about the indescribable excitement of committing himself to you, completely and forever.

He had wanted to do this years ago, perhaps two years into your relationship rather than waiting twelve. But you had been the practical one, insisting that you both build your careers, settle into life without the added pressure of a wedding. He hadn’t minded too much; after all, what was a few more years when you had forever to spend together?

As the soft strains of music fill the chapel, Jongseong freezes. It’s an original piece - the one he had composed for you way back in the beginning of your relationship. The ballad, a quiet testament to the love he held for you even then, was something he’d never expected to hear today. Each note flows seamlessly into the next, blending together like the way his love for you has always been: fluid, effortless, natural. 

For him, loving you has never been complicated. It’s as though the melody was written not just with the keys of the piano, but with the strings of his heart. The tears, which you had so eagerly asked for, begin to gather at the corners of his eyes.

Then he sees you.

You appear at the end of the aisle, and his breath catches. Words escape him because they’re not enough to describe how radiant you are. The light from the stained-glass windows dances across your white gown, making you look as if you’re wrapped in sunlight itself. The lace of your dress hugs your figure delicately, each intricate detail shimmering as if woven from the stars. Your veil, soft as gossamer, floats behind you, catching the gentle breeze that filters through the open chapel doors. Your eyes, bright and full of love, meet his, and in that moment, Jongseong knows - if ever there was perfection, it is you.

Your beauty is beyond anything he could have imagined, like a dream come to life. You are the embodiment of every love song, every poem, every whispered promise. As you walk toward him, it feels like time slows, like the world pauses to let him savour every second, every step. You are grace personified, and all he can think is how lucky he is that this is real, that you are his.

Beside you, your father walks proudly with his arm linked through yours. His face shines with pride, his entire being glowing with joy. Jongseong feels a surge of pride for him as well. Their relationship had a rocky start, but now, four years into his sobriety, your father has become someone Jongseong admires deeply. 

The way you and your family never gave up on him taught Jongseong valuable lessons in patience, compassion, and what it means to truly love someone through their struggles. Watching your father today, standing tall and proud, Jongseong knows that all the hardships were worth it. He understands now that loving someone through their demons isn’t easy, but it’s something only the most special people can do - and you are one of those people. You have made Jongseong a better man, and he is and always will be eternally grateful for that.

When you and your father finally reach the end of the aisle, Jongseong’s breath hitches as he sees you up close for the first time. He’s lost for words, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. The tears that had gathered in his eyes finally spill over as he gazes at you. Your smile is so bright, most likely happy at his reaction, and he suddenly feels like his heart is trying to burst through his chest just to meld with your own; he is so privileged you hold his heart this way.

“You look…” he starts, but the words catch in his throat.

“Like I’m ready to be your wife?” you finish with a teasing smile, your voice warm and steady.

Jongseong shakes his head, his voice cracking with emotion. “Like my everything.” 

The way he says this, so pure and genuine, your smile falters just ever so slightly, your face now wanting to express an earnest love, the kind of expression you only look at the love of your life with.

Your father, watching the exchange, beams with satisfaction. There’s a tenderness in his expression as he shakes Jongseong’s hand, pulling him into a firm embrace. “I know you’ll look after one another,” your father whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m so proud to call you my son.”

The words settle deep within Jongseong’s heart, and when your father steps back to take his seat, the ceremony begins.

As the officiant begins speaking, his voice soft but clear, Jongseong can’t help but marvel at how your hand fits so perfectly in his, your fingers warm and familiar, yet somehow new, in this moment. Every word that spills from the officiant’s lips feels like background noise; all Jongseong can focus on is you. The way you stand before him, radiating beauty and calm, is enough to make his heart swell to the point of aching. You squeeze his hand softly, pulling him back to the present. His thumb brushes over your knuckles in response, a silent message of reassurance, of love. It feels as if the two of you are existing in your own world, tethered together by this secret moment amid the hum of the ceremony.

Even in a room full of people, he will always only see you.

He glances at your face, catching a fleeting look of emotion dancing in your eyes, and it takes everything in him not to pull you into his arms right there. You’re holding it together so well, but he knows you too well. The slight tension in your grip, the way your breath catches every now and then - it all betrays the storm of emotion beneath the surface. And it matches his own.

When the officiant calls for the vows, Jongseong inhales sharply. This is the part he’s been waiting for, and yet, the part that terrifies him the most. Not because he’s unsure, but because there’s so much to say, so much love to express, and he hopes he can convey it all with the right words.

He turns to face you, both of your hands now clasped together. He can feel the slight tremble in your fingers, mirroring the nervous excitement coursing through his own veins. The vows - this is where he gets to tell you, in front of everyone you both love, just how much you mean to him. But even as he opens his mouth, his heart beats in time with yours, each pulse echoing a silent promise of forever.

Clearing his throat, he pulls the paper from his suit pocket, calming himself.

“Y/N. I should start by saying how in love I am with you. I think it’s pretty obvious, I don’t think my heart is even mine anymore with the way you hold it. I remember the first time I ever saw you, so bored and begging to be saved from that god awful party. But it’s funny if you think about it because I didn’t save you from anything at all, you saved me - in more ways than I could ever thank you for.

You are my heart, soul, courage, fear, wonder, and love. I am you and you are me. ‘Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.’ I remember hearing that quote and never fully knowing what it meant. But since we are two people sewn together with the thread of fate, I began to understand that for me to be happy, to live in this world without regret or misery, I need to make sure I love you with every fibre of my being, to make sure you’re happy, safe, and cherished until the very end.

So today, my love, I vow to love you exactly as you are. I vow to protect you, not just from the world, but from any doubts or fears that ever try to steal your light. I vow to be the one who stands by your side when life feels too heavy, to hold you when you need comfort, and to celebrate with you when life brings you joy. I promise to love you on the days when life feels effortless, but more importantly, I vow to love you even harder on the days when it’s not.

I promise to cherish the smallest moments, the quiet mornings and the late-night talks, the laughter and even the silences that only we understand. You have made me a better man, and every day with you feels like a gift I don’t deserve, but one I will never take for granted.

I vow to never let a day go by without reminding you just how much you mean to me. To wake up every morning and choose you, choose us, over and over again. I vow to be your protector, your partner, your best friend, and your greatest supporter. Whatever life brings our way - whether it’s joy or challenges - I will be there, by your side, holding your hand through it all.

And above all, I vow to love you endlessly, fiercely, and without reservation, because you are my heart’s home, and there is nowhere else I would rather be.

Today, tomorrow, and every day after, I am yours. Forever.”

As Jongseong finishes his vows, his voice steady yet laced with emotion, you feel tears slip down your cheek. Despite your best efforts to stay composed, the overwhelming love in his words makes it impossible to hold back. You mourn the people in the pews who don’t get to experience Jongseong’s love because it is unfiltered and pure, the love people dream of and never have. He watches you closely, his eyes softening the moment he notices your tears.

Without missing a beat, Jongseong reaches up, gently brushing away the tear with the pad of his thumb, his touch as tender as his words. His fingers linger for a moment, his smile growing fond and warm as if he’s silently telling you that it’s okay, that he’s here, and that he understands how deeply his words have touched you.

Jongseong leans in just slightly, close enough for you to hear him whisper, "Maybe I should have vowed to never make you cry." His playful tone does little to hide the way his own eyes glisten, the deep emotions brimming just below the surface. 

Your lips tremble into a small smile through your tears, feeling both overwhelmed and reassured by the way he’s looking at you - as though you are the most precious thing in his world. And in that moment, you realise, you don’t have to hold anything back. You’re standing here, with the man who will cherish you for the rest of his life, and there is no need for composure, no need to hide the tears or the love that pours from you so naturally.

The officiant gives a gentle nod, signalling it’s time for your vows, but Jongseong keeps his gaze on you, his hand still cradling your cheek as if to give you strength. His smile never falters, and in his eyes, you see nothing but encouragement, affection, and a quiet promise that he will be right here, every step of the way.

You take a deep breath, your fingers trembling slightly as you hold your vows, and the room quiets in anticipation. You glance at Jongseong, your heart swelling as you realize you’re about to marry the love of your life, the man who has been your everything for so long.

“I kinda wish I went first now,” you laugh softly, stepping back to wipe your tears, earning a round of laughter from the guests. Even Jongseong chuckles, his eyes full of warmth, and the pressure lifts just a little as you prepare to speak from the heart.

“I really can’t believe I’m standing here today, two seconds away from becoming Mrs. Park. Though, let’s be real - I’m never going to be the best Mrs. Park. That title is clearly reserved for your mum,” you say with a playful smile, looking over at Jongseong’s mother. She places a hand on her heart, her eyes shining with affection, and nods back at you.

“Jongseong, standing here before you feels like a dream I’ve had my entire life. It feels like everything in the universe has led me to this moment, to you. You are my heart, my home, and the one person who makes the world feel safe and beautiful just by being in it.

People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. And you have changed my life Jongseong, so beautifully so. I am more confident, resilient, and passionate about my life because I have you beside me. 

There is so much love inside my body that is only reserved for you. Love is the reason we all continue to live, even through tragedies and heartbreak, we seek love in all of those moments because it’s worth living for. Jongseong, you make life worth living.

I vow to honor you with every beat of my heart, to cherish you with every breath I take. I promise to stand by you in every season, to be your unwavering support when the world feels heavy, and your biggest cheerleader when you need encouragement. I will hold your hand through the trials and celebrate with you in the triumphs, always knowing that together, we can face anything.

I vow to love you as deeply as the ocean, to be your steadfast anchor when the waves of life try to pull us apart. I promise to nurture our dreams, to build a life filled with wonder and discovery, and to always remember the simple, profound joy of being together.

You have taught me that love is not just a feeling, but a practice - one that grows and deepens every day. It is in the way we laugh together, the way we support each other’s dreams and the quiet moments when we simply hold each other close. I promise to practise this love with you, to make it a living, breathing part of our lives, one that we can carry into the afterlife and know that even if our bodies are apart through death, our hearts are always linked.

I want to be a wife who deserves you, one who never takes you for granted and gives you back tenfold the love you have for me, and God knows your love is vaster than anything else in this world. You are my heart’s truest song, and I vow to be the harmony to your melody, the gentle refrain that sings of our forever. I promise to be patient, to listen, to understand, and to always come back to you with an open heart.

Jongseong, today and every day, I choose you, not just as my partner but as my greatest adventure, my greatest joy, and my deepest love. Together, we will write a story that is uniquely ours, filled with love, laughter, and a bond that only grows stronger with time. You are my most cherished muse, wholly and completely.”

As you finish your vows, your voice quivers with emotion, and the room seems to collectively hold its breath. Jongseong’s eyes glisten with tears of joy and admiration as he kisses your forehead, his touch is tender and reassuring, and he smiles at you with a look of pure, unadulterated love. The room sighs with appreciation, moved by the heartfelt exchange.

The officiant, his own eyes misty with the beauty of the moment, clears his throat to address the couple. “Having heard these vows of unwavering love and commitment, it is now time for us to proceed with the ring exchange.”

Jongseong and you gaze deeply into one anothers eyes, the ceremony reaching its most poignant moment. The officiant gestures to Sunghoon, who steps forward, holding the rings with great reverence. With a knowing smile, he hands the rings to Jongseong, who looks at them with a sense of awe. This is it. 

“Jongseong,” the officiant prompts, “please place the ring on Y/N’s finger and repeat after me.”

Jongseong’s voice is steady but filled with emotion as he recites the traditional vows, “With this ring, I thee wed. It is a symbol of my love and devotion, a promise to cherish and honour you all the days of my life.”

As Jongseong slides the ring onto your finger, you feel its weight - a tangible representation of his love and commitment. You repeat the same words to him, your hands slightly trembling with the depth of your feelings.

The officiant smiles warmly at the couple. “May these rings be a constant reminder of the love you share and the vows you have made to each other.”

With the rings exchanged, the officiant addresses the gathering. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Jongseong leans in, his gaze locked with yours, and the world seems to fall away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect moment. His lips touch yours with a tenderness that is both electrifying and soothing. The kiss starts softly, a gentle brush of affection, but it quickly deepens into something more passionate and heartfelt. His hands cradle your face, his thumbs gently brushing along your cheekbones, anchoring you both in the intimacy of the moment.

The warmth of his breath mingles with yours, and as the kiss unfolds, it feels like a dance - delicate and full of emotion. Jongseong’s lips move with a tender urgency, conveying the depth of his love and the gravity of the vows you’ve just exchanged. There’s gentle pressure, a shared promise in the way his mouth moves against yours as if he’s pouring all the love he holds into this one kiss.

The chapel’s applause and cheers seem distant, fading into the background as you’re wrapped in the warmth and sweetness of Jongseong’s kiss. His fingers gently trace the curve of your jaw, adding a touch of reverence to the moment. You can feel the thrum of emotion in every touch, every caress, as if he’s imprinting this perfect moment onto both of your souls.

As you slowly pull away, Jongseong’s eyes are filled with a mixture of joy and reverence. The intensity of the kiss has left both of you breathless, your hearts racing with the shared exhilaration of this new chapter. His gaze holds yours with profound happiness, and you see in his eyes the same depth of feeling that you’ve always known was there.

“I love you so fucking much, Y/N,” Jongseong confesses with more earnestness than you have ever seen in one human being. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to swear in church,” you giggle, pecking his lips to rid him of the sin.

But he’s unbothered, his emotions outweighing etiquette. He shrugs and takes your hand in his. “I think the big man upstairs will forgive me this one time.”

As Jongseong takes your hand, the two of you walk down the aisle together, the applause from your friends and family echoing through the chapel, though it now feels like nothing more than a distant murmur. His thumb gently strokes the back of your hand, and every glance he steals your way is filled with an overwhelming sense of love and pride. The weight of the moment lingers sweetly between you, as if you’re both walking on air.

Once outside, the soft sunlight bathes you both in warmth, and you can’t help but let out a contented sigh. This is everything you could want. 

Jongseong, ever the gentleman, jogs to reach the car first, dramatically pulling the door open with a playful grin. “After you, Mrs. Park,” he gestures with a flourish, eyes turning into sweet crescent moons as the light beams from him.

You raise an eyebrow and chuckle at his antics. “You’re enjoying this, huh?”

“Can’t help it,” he winks, guiding you gently into the car. “I love how it sounds on my tongue,” he leans down until he’s level with your face, “Mrs. Park, Mrs. Park, Mrs. Park.” 

He will repeat it until he gets bored of hearing it, which will be never and a day.

As you settle into the seat, he quickly slips in beside you, and before the door is even shut, his lips are on yours again, more urgent this time. The kiss deepens with a fervour that wasn’t quite there at the altar, and you can feel his restraint fading. He pulls you closer, his hand resting possessively on your waist, as if he’s making up for all the time he spent holding back earlier - he would have gone all in but something about tonguing you down in front of a priest and about 30 of your closest friends and family didn’t sit well with him. His lips move hungrily against yours, each kiss more intense than the last.

You let out a soft moan in response to the sudden heat, and Jongseong smirks into your mouth, pulling back just enough to catch his breath, but not before brushing his lips teasingly against yours once more. The car starts moving, but his focus is entirely on you. His forehead rests against yours for a moment, his breath coming in shallow, heated bursts. The playful glint in his eyes returns as he taps the driver on the shoulder.

“Could you take us back to the hotel for a quick pit stop?” His tone is mischievous, eyes twinkling with intent.

You blink in surprise, your thoughts returning briefly to the chaos of the wedding day schedule. “But…we need to get our certificate signed, take pictures…the reception?” You eye him curiously, though a part of you already knows where this is going.

Jongseong just shrugs, utterly unbothered. “That can wait a minute. Do you have any idea how hard it was not having you last night?”

His words send a ripple of heat down your spine, and despite your initial protest, a smile tugs at your lips. “It was one night, Jongseong,” you laugh incredulously, though you know deep down you shared his struggle. There’s a certain magnetic pull between you that’s only intensified since the moment you exchanged vows.

But before you can say anything else, his mouth is on your neck, his lips trailing heated, deliberate kisses along your skin. He finds that spot just beneath your ear, the one that always leaves you breathless, and you melt into him instantly. Your earlier concerns about timing and schedules vanish, replaced by the undeniable, almost primal need for him.

Every touch, every kiss, is fuelled by the weight of the day’s emotions, and soon you’re lost in him entirely, giving in to the desire that’s been simmering between you. From love to passion, your relationship flows seamlessly between them.

Jongseong’s kisses are searing against your neck, sending shivers down your spine, and any remaining thoughts of the day’s schedule fade into nothing. His hands grip your waist firmly, pulling you closer as you feel the heat building between you both. The car ride blurs by in a haze of stolen kisses and whispered promises, the tension growing heavier with every touch.

Before long, the car pulls up outside the hotel, and Jongseong barely waits for the driver to open the door before he helps you out, his grip on your hand tight, his thumb brushing your wedding ring with fondness despite the heat pumping through him. 

The hotel lobby is a blur, neither of you paying attention to anything around you as he tugs you towards the lift. Once inside, his mouth is back on yours, pushing you gently against the wall, his body pressed up close, a low groan escaping his lips.

The moment the doors open to your floor, you’re both stumbling down the hallway, hands roaming, clothes being tugged at impatiently. The urgency is palpable, as if every second spent not touching is a second wasted. By the time you reach the room, Jongseong fumbles with the key card, barely able to keep his lips from yours as he finally pushes the door open.

You stumble inside together, the sheer size of your wedding dress catching between you as you attempt to navigate the small space. Jongseong laughs softly into the kiss, but neither of you cares as you pull at each other, the weight of your emotions taking over. His hands work swiftly to find the buttons and zippers hidden beneath layers of fabric, and you can feel his need for you in every motion.

Your lips part briefly, just long enough for you to gasp out between kisses, “We need to be quick, baby.” Your breath is ragged, your voice barely above a whisper, but the desperation in your tone mirrors his own.

“Quick…right,” he mutters, though there’s no sign of him slowing down. His hands are everywhere - your waist, your back, your hips - gripping and pulling as though he can’t get enough of you. He presses you up against the nearest wall, his lips finding yours again, deeper and more urgent than before.

As you pull him closer, the fabric of your dress rustles and tangles between you, but it only adds to the delicious mess of the moment. His hands slip beneath the lace, fingers tracing the sensitive skin of your thighs, making you gasp. He smiles against your lips, that same playful glint in his eyes, but his kiss is nothing but intense.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of fumbling, Jongseong’s fingers work the last clasp on the back of your dress. The fabric slips from your shoulders, and the sensation of it gliding down your body makes you shiver. He steps back just slightly, allowing the gown to pool at your feet, his eyes following every movement with hungry intensity.

The moment he sees you standing there in nothing but the white lace lingerie beneath, his breath catches, and a flicker of pure desire ignites in his gaze. His hands, which had been so impatient before, now pause in reverence, as though he’s taking in every detail, committing this moment to memory.

“God,” he breathes out, voice thick with awe and hunger. “You’re fucking perfect, have i ever told you that?”

His words send a wave of warmth through you, your heart racing even faster under the weight of his gaze. Before you can respond, his hands find your waist again, pulling you to him. His lips crash against yours, the intensity of the kiss somehow even more fervent now that there’s nothing between you but the thin lace of your thong and his trousers.

His fingers trace the delicate patterns of the fabric, teasingly brushing over your skin in a way that makes your pulse quicken. His lips move from your mouth, trailing down your jawline to your collarbone, then lower, each kiss deliberate, driving you wild with anticipation.

“Jongseong…” You gasp, your body reacting to every touch, every kiss. The urgency from before still lingers, but there’s something deeper now - a need not just for passion, but for connection. The feeling that you’ve finally, truly become his in every way.

He smirks against your skin, clearly enjoying the way your body responds to him, his hands sliding over the lace as though he can barely restrain himself, feeling how wet you are for him. His lips find yours again, but this time slower, deeper, as if he’s taking everything in, the moment, you, all of it.

“Quick, right?” he teases softly between kisses, but there’s now no rush in his movements now. The two of you are lost in each other, and any notion of time or urgency is forgotten as he continues to explore you, making every second feel endless and yet not nearly enough.

Jongseong’s teasing words hang in the air, and you can’t help but smile against his lips, your heart pounding in your chest. The fire between you is still blazing, but there’s a tenderness now, an unspoken understanding that this moment is more than just physical. It’s the culmination of everything - every shared glance, every whispered promise, every touch over the past 12 years.

“I’m gonna fuck you, fill you up and have you walk around the reception with my cum inside of you,” he breathes out, his hands busy undoing his dress trousers, fingers fumbling before pushing them down, the fabric pooling to his ankles, quickly making friends with your wedding dress.

The mere thought if it has you deperate, and instantly, you’re jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist, your heat craving his touch.  Jongseong lets out a low groan as you cling to him, the weight of you pressing against his cock driving his need to the surface. He catches your lips again, this time more fervently, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he practically traps you between the wall and his chest. The coolness of the hotel wall contrasts with the heat of his body, and the sensation sends a shiver down your spine.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” he mutters against your lips, his voice a mix of frustration and affection. His breath is heavy, matching the rapid beat of your heart. He needs to be inside of you, and he needs it now.

As he adjusts his grip on you, his hand slides between your thighs as he pushes your thong to the side, lining himself up. The anticipation builds, and you moan softly, arching against him, silently pleading for more, the tip of his cock poking at where you need him most. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locking with yours, a small, knowing smile playing on his lips.

“Ready?” he whispers, his voice low and gravelly, as if daring you to answer.

You don’t need to say a word - your body tells him everything he needs to know, but your nod anyway. “Yes, fuck, Jongseong please.”

With one smooth motion, Jongseong thrusts into you, filling you completely. A gasp escapes your lips as your bodies meld together, the intensity of the moment sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you. He groans deeply, his breath ragged as he begins to move, each thrust deliberate and powerful, driving deeper into you.

Each thrust sends waves of pleasure through your core, your senses overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you. The curve of his cock drags down your tight walls, each bump of your inner core being kissed by his bell, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

His pace quickens, the need between you intensifying. Your nails dig into his back, holding him closer as he drives into you harder, deeper, the friction and heat building to an unbearable crescendo. The way he looks at you, his eyes dark and intense, filled with raw need and adoration, makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters to him in this moment.

“God, you feel so good,” he breathes out, his voice hoarse with desire. His hips snap against yours with more urgency, his hand gripping the back of your neck as he presses his forehead to yours. “Gonna fill you up, yeah? Give you all of me just like you deserve.”

You can’t hold back the moans that slip from your lips, your body trembling as you near the edge. Every thrust, every touch, every breath sends you spiraling closer to that sweet release, and you can feel it building, tightening in your core.

“Can’t wait to start a family with you, baby,” he confesses, the sentence thoughtful yet primal, “What if I got you pregnant right now, huh? Would Mrs. Park like that?”

“Fuck, yes!” you mewl out, the way he says your new government name along with the promise of a family is all too overwhelming as it mixes in with the utter lust your body feels. You need him to fill you to the brim, to have each inch of him buried to the hilt of you while he pumps his seed deep into your womb. “I need you… so close…” you whisper, your voice trembling with desperation.

Jongseong's thrusts become more urgent, each one deeper and harder than the last. Your bodies move in perfect rhythm, his name slipping from your lips in a desperate moan as pleasure coils tighter within you. The world fades away, your senses filled only by the heat of his skin against yours, the heady scent of desire, and the raw intensity in his gaze as he watches you unravel beneath him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Mrs. Park,” he whispers, “So pretty, and all mine.” His tone is loving if through gritted teeth, parts of the syllables coated in the desire he has running through his veins.

“I love you, Jongseong,” you whisper, kissing all over his face as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink of euphoria.

He chuckles softly, eyes almost filling with tears. “I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much.” And without another word, he kisses you with so much passion and devotion that if you weren’t already breathless from the raw fucking he is giving you, you definetly would have felt the air escape your lungs.

The pressure inside you builds relentlessly, your muscles clenching around him, drawing him deeper. He groans, a low, guttural sound that sends a thrill of electricity through your veins. His lips trail back up your neck, leaving a burning path in their wake before they crash into yours again, his kiss filled with hunger and need, as if he can’t get enough of you.

"You're perfect," he breathes against your lips, his voice strained, thick with lust. His hands tighten on your hips, pulling you down harder onto him with every thrust, making you feel every inch of him. “Ready to be a mum, baby? Ready for me to fuck you senseless each and every day and use the excuse of trying?”

“Fuck yeah, Jongseong, I can’t wait.” The grin on your face contorts with pure pleasure as he takes your words and runs wild with them, making good on his promise. If it isn’t today, or tomorrow, or even in the next year, he will make sure he keeps fucking you, until both of you create something wonderful, until you create a family that’s bigger than what you both are now.

You cling to him, nails scraping against his back as waves of pleasure crash over you with every buck of his hips. His pace is relentless now, hips slamming into yours with raw, unfiltered passion, each motion pushing you closer to the edge. Your vision blurs, the world spinning as the sensation intensifies, your body trembling uncontrollably.

You can feel him pulsing inside you, the tension in his body telling you that he's close, just as you are. His name is the only word you can form as your release builds to a peak, the pressure inside you unbearable. He presses his forehead against yours, his eyes locked on you, completely focused as he watches you fall apart in his arms.

"Cum for me," he growls, his voice a rough command that sends a shudder through you.

At his words, the coil inside you snaps, and you let go completely. A cry escapes your lips as the orgasm tears through you, your entire body trembling violently as pleasure floods your senses. You grip onto him like he's the only thing grounding you, your nails digging into his skin as wave after wave of ecstasy courses through you.

Jongseong’s own release follows soon after, his body shuddering as he empties himself inside you, his groans of pleasure vibrating against your neck. His movements slow but remain deep, deliberate, prolonging the sensation as both of you ride the aftershocks of pleasure. You can feel his warmth spreading through you, just as he promised, and the thought of it sends a final tremor through your body.

For a moment, neither of you move, the heat of the moment still clinging to you as Jongseong’s weight presses you gently against the wall. His chest heaves against yours, and the only sound is the ragged rhythm of your breaths mingling in the charged air.

Slowly, Jongseong pulls back just enough to meet your gaze. His fingers trace softly over your flushed skin, and the intensity in his eyes gives way to a tenderness that makes your heart flutter. A satisfied smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he leans in to kiss you again, this time with a slow, sweet tenderness that deepens the connection between you.

“You okay?” he whispers, his voice soft and reverent as his thumb caresses the curve of your jaw.

You nod, breathless and still tingling from the afterglow. “More than okay,” you murmur, your lips brushing against his as you speak.

“Good,” he chuckles, his eyes glinting with mischief. He sets you down gently, supporting you until your legs regain their strength. “We have a reception to get back to, after all.”

With a deft, almost intimate touch, his fingers slip between your sensitive folds, gathering his essence before gently pushing it back inside you. His gaze remains locked with yours, a mix of possessiveness and adortation. “Keep that in there until I can steal you away again and give you more.”

Giggling, you nod, biting your lip. You really cannot wait for the day you have this man’s child.

_____

Jongseong bursts into the hospital, his breath ragged, his vision blurred by the panic that clogs his thoughts. The fluorescent lights overhead feel too bright, their sterile, clinical glow only exacerbating the coldness gripping his chest. A sharp antiseptic smell wafts through the air, mingling with the faint hum of machinery and the occasional cough from sick patients in the waiting area. The beeps of heart monitors and distant murmurs of conversation all blur into a single cacophony, lost on him as his sole focus narrows to one desperate objective: finding you.

His eyes dart wildly across the expanse of the lobby, scanning for some kind of guidance. There, tucked away in the corner, is an oak reception desk. The receptionist, a middle-aged woman with a sympathetic smile, taps away at her computer, unaware of the storm about to come her way. Jongseong rushes over, his heart pounding, each thud reverberating in his ears like the ticking of a countdown he can’t afford to lose.

"Excuse me, do you know where the maternity ward is?" The words tumble from his mouth in a breathless jumble, barely coherent even to his own ears. It doesn’t sound like him - this frantic, uncollected version of himself - but he doesn’t care. He can’t afford to. His gaze flickers briefly to the woman behind the desk as she begins to reply, her voice gentle, almost calming, in stark contrast to the chaos raging inside him.

"You're in the wrong section, sweetheart. Maternity is ward 48, it's down the ha-"

But he doesn't wait for her to finish. Her words are cut short as he spins on his heel, legs propelling him down the long, seemingly endless corridor. His heart is racing, but not from the sprint. It’s the weight of fear, the gnawing dread that tightens his chest and churns his stomach. He might miss it. He might miss you. Miss being by your side when you need him the most. The thought alone makes his insides twist, as though someone had reached into his ribcage and clenched his heart in a fist.

This is supposed to be a joyous moment - the birth of his son, your son, the culmination of months of waiting, preparing, and dreaming. But right now, all he feels is the gnawing anxiety that he won’t make it in time. That he won’t be there to hold your hand, to look into your eyes and tell you that you’re doing great, that everything will be okay. 

His mind races back to when he received the call from your sister, the news hitting him like a freight train. He had been at work, neck-deep in paperwork and deadlines. He had barely believed it at first. You weren’t due for another two weeks; surely, this was a mistake. Yet, here you were, two floors above him, about to deliver his precious son into the world.

But none of that matters now. What matters is getting to you, being by your side before it’s too late. 

His legs burn as he pushes himself forward, following the overhead signs that guide him toward ward 48. The corridors stretch out before him like a maze, every turn only amplifying the desperation pooling in his chest. The sharp click of his shoes echoes loudly in the silence, but all he can hear is the blood rushing in his ears, the frantic beat of his own heart drowning out everything else.

When he finally crashes into the ward’s front desk, it’s not graceful. His body slams into the counter, breath heaving, his muscles taut with adrenaline. He grips the edge of the desk as though it's the only thing keeping him upright. "Excuse me, what room is Y/N Park in?" The words come out strained, his voice thick with tension. Every fibre of his being feels stretched to the breaking point, as though his body is barely containing the swell of emotions surging through him.

The receptionist looks up, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. There’s a knowing look in her eyes, one that says she’s seen this before - fathers on the verge of breaking, desperate to be there, to not miss the moment that changes everything. "Down the hall, third door on your left," she says kindly, nodding toward the direction he needs to go.

He doesn’t wait. With a sharp intake of breath, he pushes himself off the counter and bolts toward your room, his legs moving on autopilot, every step pounding with urgency. His mind races, imagining you lying there, scared or in pain, and it tears at him. You shouldn’t have to go through this by yourself. He swore to be there, to hold your hand through every step of this, and now he’s running on borrowed time.

The corridor leading to your room feels impossibly long, each door blurring past him as he counts them off in his head. First door, second door...third door. His hand trembles as it reaches for the handle, the weight of the moment crashing over him like a wave. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the truth is, nothing can prepare him for this. The surge of love, fear, and anticipation battling inside him is overwhelming, but all of it pales in comparison to the thought of you.

When he opens the door, his heart nearly stops. There you are, lying in the hospital bed, your face flushed with exertion but glowing with a strength he has always admired. You look up, and the moment your eyes meet his, it’s as if time itself stops. Relief floods your features, and he rushes to your side, gripping your hand as though it’s the only tether keeping him grounded.

"I’m here," he breathes, his voice cracking with emotion, kissing all over your hand. "I’m here, baby."

And as you squeeze his hand, the world narrows to just the two of you. The chaos of the hospital fades into the background, replaced by the steady rhythm of your breathing, the soft murmurs of encouragement from the midwife, and the quiet reassurance that, despite everything, he made it. He’s here.

“Okay, Y/N, I need you to push again for me. You’re doing so great, hun.” The midwife's voice is soft, almost a lullaby amidst the storm of chaos within you. It’s as if her words offer you a momentary anchor, a delicate thread of calm amidst the crashing waves of pressure building up inside your body. You nod, gasping for breath, your entire body trembling with exhaustion, but her voice mixed with the familiar warmth of Jongseong’s hand in yours somehow gives you strength. His fingers, strong and steady, wrap around yours, grounding you in this moment of overwhelming intensity.

He whispers soothing words, his thumb brushing over your clammy skin, wiping the sheen of sweat from your brow. But you barely register them. The noise of the hospital fades into the background as your body screams for release. It’s all-consuming, this pain—a deep, primal ache that makes you wonder how anyone could endure this more than once. You’re making a vow to yourself in this very moment: this is definitely the last time you’ll be giving birth.

The midwife’s calm encouragement pulls you back into the moment. “That’s it, you’re doing brilliantly, sweetie! He’s crowning!”

Her words send a jolt of both fear and anticipation down your spine. He’s almost here. You’re almost at the end. But it hurts - God, it fucking hurts. You can feel your body stretching, tearing, and it feels impossible, like your entire being is being pulled apart at the seams. You wonder how anyone survives this. You wonder how people choose to do this again and again. But the end is so close now, you can feel it, and it’s that thought, that hope, that pushes you to dig deep into a reserve of strength you didn’t even know you had.

Jongseong leans in, his face inches from yours as he wipes the sweat off your forehead. His touch is gentle, careful, as though you might shatter under the intensity of what’s happening. “My beautiful girl, you’re doing so well,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. His words are meant to comfort you, but in your overstimulated state, they fall flat, like a pebble tossed into a stormy sea.

"You did this to me!" you cry out, your voice a strangled mixture of rage, exhaustion, and raw pain. The agony, the pressure, the sensation of your body trying to expel a living, breathing being from your core - it’s all too much. The frustration bubbles up and spills out as you glare at him through half-lidded eyes, loathing him, if only for a second, for putting you in this impossible situation.

Jongseong doesn’t take offence. Instead, he chuckles under his breath, a sound almost swallowed by the sheer intensity of the moment. He presses a tender kiss to your knuckles, seemingly immune to the iron grip you’ve got on his hand, your fingers squeezing so tightly it’s a wonder his bones aren’t crushed. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says with a grin, trying to lighten the tension. “I’m a bad man for giving you the best fucks of your life and putting you in this situation, aren’t I?”

Despite the searing pain wracking your body, you manage a weak, breathless laugh. His words, paired with the earnest yet amused look on his face, somehow cut through the fog of agony. For a brief, fleeting moment, the tension in the room eases, and even the nursing team joins in with a soft chuckle, their eyes sparkling with fondness.

“You’re the worst,” you retort, your voice strained, yet the humour dances between you like a fleeting lifeline. You don’t mean it, and once your beautiful baby is in your arms, you’ll forget every resentment towards your husband, the pain long gone and only love clouding your senses.

But the pain comes roaring back in full force, and the midwife’s voice cuts through the moment. “Alright, Y/N, I need you to push again. Just one more big push, okay?”

You nod, though you don’t trust your voice to respond. Your entire body tenses as you prepare for the final stretch, the last hurdle. The pressure builds, an unbearable weight pushing down on you, and with one last groan - deep, guttural, like a battle cry those old vikings used to do - you bear down, gripping Jongseong’s hand with all the strength you have left.

“You’re doing it, Y/N! That’s it, keep going!” The midwife’s voice is urgent but encouraging, guiding you through the overwhelming sensations. The room seems to blur at the edges, your vision tunnelling as you focus on nothing but the task at hand. You feel the burn, the rawness of your body stretching beyond its limits, but you push through it, every fibre of your being screaming for this to be over.

And then, with one final, agonised push, it is.

A high, piercing cry fills the room, cutting through the tension like a blade, and suddenly the world stills. The pain, the fear, the exhaustion - all of it fades away as you hear the first wail of your son, your precious baby boy. You collapse back against the pillows, your chest heaving, tears slipping down your cheeks as the reality of what just happened sinks in.

Jongseong is crying too. His hand is shaking as he wipes his eyes, his gaze locked on the tiny, wriggling figure in the midwife’s arms. “He’s here,” he whispers, his voice breaking with emotion. “Our boy… he’s here.”

The midwife checks your son over for a moment, and once she deems everything is perfectly healthy and fine, she offers you a small smile. “Would you like skin-to-skin?”

Without hesitation, you nod, exhaustion clouding over you. “Yes, please.”

The midwife places your newborn son on your chest, his tiny body warm and wet against your skin. You feel a rush of emotions - love, relief, awe - all of it crashing over you in waves so powerful they steal the breath from your lungs. Jongseong’s hand is reaches up to your face, his fingers trembling as he brushes a tear from your cheek.

“You did it,” he breathes, his eyes shining with pride and wonder. “You really did it, my love.”

You look down at your baby, his small hand curling against your chest, and despite the exhaustion weighing down your limbs, you can’t stop the smile spreading across your face. “We did it,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of your son’s soft cries.

And in that moment, as the three of you are cocooned in the quiet warmth of the hospital room, the world outside ceases to exist. There is only this. Only the love, the relief, and the overwhelming sense of joy that, despite everything, you’re finally a family.

Bringing life into the world is a moment of pure wonder, filled with a sense of awe and joy that nothing else compares to. The arrival of a new soul, fresh and full of potential, feels like the universe itself holding its breath in reverence. It’s beautiful chaos, tears of relief, the quiet weight of a newborn in your arms, the sweet fatigue that follows the storm of labour. There's a rawness, a vulnerability to it that makes it sacred. The start of life is an unspoken promise, a beginning with endless possibilities stretching out before it.

But as beautiful as the act of bringing life into the world is, it's devastatingly cruel when life is taken away. 

_____

Jongseong ascended the stairs slowly, each step sending a dull ache through his brittle bones. His knees groaned under his weight, no longer the strong, agile legs that had once carried him with ease through the vigours of life. The years had settled deep into his joints, a reminder of a long life lived. At seventy-five, his body had become an archive of memories, each wrinkle and creak a testament to the passage of time. But he didn’t mind, not really. He knew aging was inevitable, and while he wasn’t the fit man he used to be, he had grown accustomed to the slower pace, to the small sacrifices his body demanded. Today, though, his knees seemed to be protesting more than usual.

The morning was still quiet, the kind of peaceful stillness that only early dawn could bring. Jongseong had woken up earlier than you, something he had done a bit more often lately. Your still frame lay blissfully as he slipped out of bed, careful not to wake you. He wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed, nothing extravagant, just something simple and sweet. Toast, a little bowl of fruit, and your favourite yoghurt arranged neatly on a tray. And, of course, a tiny daisy from the garden, a little burst of yellow and white placed beside the cutlery - a small token of the love he still carried for you, as bright and fresh as the day he’d first met you.

He smiled to himself as he finally reached the top of the stairs, breathing out heavily. His chest rose and fell slowly as he gathered the air back into his lungs, a satisfied chuckle escaping his lips. “Y’know, baby, maybe we should invest in that stairmaster,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head at the thought. “My knees are giving up on me here.”

He pushed open the door to your shared bedroom, the familiar scent of lavender and old wood welcoming him in. The room was a sanctuary, a place where the two of you had spent decades creating a life together. The walls seemed to hum with memories - of laughter, whispered arguments, nights spent comforting a scared baby Jeyou when he was small, his little body tucked between the two of you as you soothed his fears. Even now, the room felt like a cocoon of warmth, filled with the quiet reassurance of a life well-lived together.

Jongseong’s eyes softened as they landed on you. There you were, lying so peacefully, your grey hair splayed across the pillow, half of your face buried into its softness. Your lashes rested delicately on your wrinkled cheeks, and even now, after all these years, you looked so beautiful to him. He’d always loved watching you sleep, loved the way your face relaxed into a soft serenity. He stood there for a moment, tray still in hand, just looking at you, his heart swelling with the same love that had carried him through all the challenges, all the joys and sorrows of life. Every wrinkle on your face told a story he cherished, every line a map of the life you had built together.

But as he stood there, something shifted. The quietness in the room felt...different. The silence was deeper, more still than usual. He tilted his head, waiting for the familiar soft snort you made when you exhaled in your sleep, or for the small rise and fall of your chest that always reassured him. 

But none of that came.

His heart, which had been so full just moments ago, plummeted in his chest. A chill washed over him, the warmth of the room suddenly replaced with a growing panic.

“Love?” His voice was uncertain, his body moving on instinct as he placed the tray down on the dresser by the door. His legs, tired just a second ago, suddenly felt weightless as he rushed to your side. “Y/N?” He sat on the bed, his voice trembling now. “Baby, come on, wake up.”

He reached out, brushing the hair from your face, the strands falling softly between his trembling fingers. His hand lingered on your cheek, feeling for the warmth he had always known, but your skin felt cool beneath his touch. Too cool.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his voice cracking. His other hand found your shoulder, shaking you gently at first, and then with more urgency. “No, no, no. Come on, baby, stop joking around. Wake up. Please.”

The stillness of your body was a stark contrast to the frantic tremor in his hands. He shook you again, harder this time, but you remained as you were - so peaceful, so unbearably still. His chest tightened, the tears pooling in his eyes blurring his vision. He blinked rapidly, as though he could chase away the truth that was slowly sinking in, but it was there, gnawing at the edges of his heart.

“Please, baby, please. Don’t do this. I need you to wake up.” His voice was barely a whisper now, broken and fragile, like a child pleading for a nightmare to end. He pulled you closer, his trembling fingers gripping your arms as he collapsed over you, his body draped across yours as the sobs tore through him. The tears fell freely now, landing on your skin, tiny droplets of his heartbreak mingling with the softness of your stillness.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered into your hair, his voice strangled by grief. “Please. Don’t leave me. Not now. I’m not ready.”

The room, once so full of love and warmth, felt unbearably cold now. The silence stretched on, suffocating him, pressing down on his chest until he could barely breathe. He held you tightly, his arms wrapped around your lifeless body, as if by sheer will alone he could pull you back, make you breathe again, make your heart beat again. But you didn’t move. You didn’t stir.

Jongseong’s tears soaked into your skin, his sobs shaking his frail frame. His heart felt like it was being ripped apart, every beat more painful than the last. He pressed his cheek against your forehead, inhaling the faint scent of your skin, the scent that had been a constant comfort to him for all these years. But now, even that was fading, slipping away like you had.

“I can’t do this without you,” he cried, his voice breaking as he held you tighter. “We’ve always done everything together. How am I supposed to keep going if you’re not here? Please, baby, please...just come back to me.”

But there was no response, no stirring beneath his touch. Only silence. The kind of silence that comes with finality, with the weight of something precious being stolen away forever.

He stayed there, curled up beside you, his tears flowing unchecked, his heart heavy with the unbearable realisation that the love of his life, the woman who had been his everything for decades, was gone. The weight of it settled into his bones, deeper than any ache he’d felt before. This wasn’t just the weight of age, but of loss - a weight that would never truly lift.

For a long time, Jongseong didn’t move. He stayed wrapped around you, whispering soft apologies, broken words of love, promises that no longer had a future. His tears mingled with the daisy he’d picked for you, now wilting beside the untouched tray on the dresser, a small, fragile symbol of the life that had once bloomed between the two of you.

Jongseong's sobs gradually gave way to a trembling stillness as he lay beside you, his breaths coming in ragged, shuddering gasps. The tears had begun to slow, leaving trails of salt on his cheeks, mingling with the remnants of the breakfast tray that had once held such promise. The quiet of the room felt like a heavy blanket, oppressive and final. It was the kind of silence that seemed to stretch endlessly, a cruel reminder of what was now lost.

He pulled himself up slightly, lifting his head from where it had been buried in your shoulder. His eyes, red and swollen, scanned the room - the room that had been a sanctuary of shared dreams and countless memories. He looked at the framed photographs on the bedside table: the smiling faces of a younger you and him, the family portraits, snapshots of Jeyou through the years. It was all a tapestry of a life lived together, and now, it felt like a cruel joke.

“C’mon, love,” he said, his voice hoarse but resolute. He took your hand in his, holding it gently, trying to draw strength from the familiar warmth that was no longer there. “We still have so much more to do.” His voice cracked, but he pressed on, his mind desperately clinging to the plans they had made, the future they had envisioned.

He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself, his fingers tracing the lines of your hand with a tenderness born of countless shared moments. “Remember, we were going to finish the garden? We talked about planting those roses in the front yard. You always said you wanted to see them bloom better than the witches next door. And the trip to the lake -  Jeyou’s been asking about that fishing trip for ages. You promised him, remember? We were going to take him and Minhee out there and teach them how to catch those big trout.”

Jongseong’s tears began to flow again, mixing with the desperate, pleading edge in his voice. “What about Jeyou?” he continued, his voice breaking. “You can’t leave him behind. We’ve always been a family. He needs you, just like I do. He’s grown up so much, and he still needs his mum. We were going to watch him grown old and brittle like us, how can you do that if you don’t wake up, huh?”

He bent his head, his forehead resting against the cool, unmoving surface of your hand. “Fuck, baby,” he whispered, the words barely audible through the sobs that wracked his body. “If you can’t come back for me, come back for him. Please, please, please. Don’t leave him with just memories of you. He needs you. I need you.”

His pleas hung in the air, a desperate cry to the silence that had become so final. He squeezed your hand, the small, gentle action a futile attempt to make you respond, to bring you back. The room felt impossibly cold now, the warmth of shared dreams replaced by the chilling finality of loss.

He stayed like that for what felt like hours, holding your hand, whispering promises and plans that would never come to pass. The light from the morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room, but it seemed to mock him now. The day they had planned, the future they had envisioned together, was slipping away, drowned in the ocean of his grief.

Jongseong’s heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, each shard a fragment of a life that would never be. He tried to imagine moving forward, but every vision was tainted by your absence. The world outside, with its ongoing rhythm and pulse, felt distant and irrelevant compared to the hollow ache that had settled within him.

_

Jongseong stood by your grave, the ache in his chest so profound it felt like it had hollowed him out completely. He had known, of course, that your funeral would be difficult but nothing, not even the endless condolences and the gentle words from well-meaning friends and family, could have prepared him for this kind of pain. The grief gnawed at him, relentless and unforgiving, leaving him feeling raw and exposed. It was the kind of hurt that no words could soothe, no embrace could soften. Nothing - except you.

His black suit hung loose on his frame, a stark contrast to the confident man he had once been. His posture, usually straight and proud, was slouched, his shoulders weighed down by the unbearable burden of loss. His face, pale and drawn, was a shadow of the man who once carried the light of the world in his heart. That light, he feared, had been taken with you. Since the moment you passed, the world had dimmed, and he wondered if he would ever feel warmth again. When the earth loses the sun, there is only darkness that remains.

He hasn’t slept. How could he? The bed is too big, too cold, too empty without you. Every night since your passing, he had lain awake, staring at the ceiling, his hand reaching across the bed to where you used to be, only to be met with nothing. He would run his fingers over the cool, empty space, the ache in his heart growing stronger with each passing minute. The silence was unbearable, the kind that swallowed him whole. He wondered how he was supposed to go on without you when every reason for his existence was tied to you. You had been his purpose, his love, his everything.

Since he was twenty-two years old, he had known nothing but being your other half. You had been there with him through every step, every joy, every heartbreak, every victory. Now, you weren’t here, and it felt as though half of him had been torn away, leaving a void that nothing could ever fill. His hand felt empty, void of your comforting squeezes, the way you used to reassure him with just a touch. He would never feel that again. He would never hear your laugh, never see your smile light up a room, never feel the warmth of your embrace. The thought was unbearable, a suffocating weight on his chest that made it hard to breathe.

Choking back a sob, Jongseong clenched his jaw and squeezed his throat shut, trying desperately to keep himself together, if not for himself, then for the family who stood around him. He knew they were hurting too, how could they not be, when you had been the centre of their lives as well? But it was hard. It was so hard to stand there and be strong when his insides were crumbling, when every fibre of his being screamed for you. He stared at the ground, his vision blurred by tears, the earth below looking so final, so cold.

The sky overhead was grey, a dull blanket of clouds that seemed to mirror the grief that hung in the air. The wind was gentle, but even the breeze felt like it carried sadness, the chill sinking into Jongseong’s bones. It felt as though the world itself had lost its colour, its vibrancy, ever since you had gone. The trees that surrounded the cemetery stood still, their leaves barely rustling, as if even nature was mourning. Every corner of the graveyard seemed muted, the flowers on the graves dull and lifeless, the headstones stark and lonely. Even the birds seemed quieter today, as though they too understood the magnitude of the loss.

Jongseong forced himself to look up, his eyes finding Jeyou across the gravesite. His son stood beside his wife, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed, his gaze locked on the casket that had been lowered into the ground. Jongseong’s heart ached even more at the sight of him. 

He wanted so desperately to be strong for Jeyou, for your son. He wanted to walk over and put a hand on his shoulder, to tell him everything would be alright, to hold him the way he had when Jeyou was a little boy, scared and unsure of the world. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t be anything for anyone right now, because the one person who had always given him the strength to carry on was gone.

Ara came up beside him then, slipping her arm through his. She didn’t say anything, after all, what could she say? There were no words that could take away the pain. Jongseong felt her presence beside him, her quiet support, but even that couldn’t bridge the gap that had opened up in his heart. Ara’s touch was gentle, her hand squeezing his arm, but the void inside him was too vast, too deep for even the love of his granddaughter to reach.

The priest’s voice droned on in the background, speaking the final words of the burial, but the words seemed to drift away, lost in the weight of the moment. Jongseong could barely hear them over the pounding of his heart, over the sound of his own ragged breaths. He clenched his fists, trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to break free again. He didn’t want to fall apart, not here, not in front of everyone. But how could he not, when the love of his life was leaving him forever?

Jongseong bit his lip, his eyes glassy as he glanced down to your coffin-covered body, as if searching for some kind of reassurance. But there was none to give. This was it. This was the end. You were gone, and there was no miraculous happy ending where you would come back to him, where you would smile and tell him you were never going to leave. There was only the harsh, brutal reality that he would have to live the rest of his life without you.

Jongseong’s knees buckle slightly as the final prayer is spoken, and he feels Ara tighten her grip on his arm, grounding him, keeping him upright. He wants to collapse, to lie beside you and never get up. He wants to close his eyes and pretend that this was all just a terrible dream. But it isn’t. The casket in the ground is real, the earth that will cover it is real, and you are truly gone.

Jongseong let out a shaky breath, the air catching in his throat as he continued to stare at the grave. The casket, now partially covered by the earth, felt like a cruel finality, the last barrier between him and the love of his life. The flowers scattered around the site seemed dull in the overcast light, their once vibrant colours muted by the grief that hung over the cemetery like a thick fog. Everything seemed too quiet, too still, as if the world itself had paused in reverence to the enormity of his pain.

His heart pounded in his chest, each beat echoing with the agony of knowing that this was the end—no more shared mornings, no more gentle touches, no more stolen glances. The weight of it all made his chest tighten, a crushing force that left him gasping for breath. He could hardly believe that this was real, that the woman who had been his reason for living for so many years was now gone, leaving him to navigate a life he no longer knew how to live.

Ara tugged gently at his arm, her silent plea to move, to take a step forward. Jongseong hesitated, his feet rooted to the ground, unwilling to leave the spot where you lay. His eyes remained fixed on the grave, as if by staring hard enough, he could will you back into existence, could bring you back to him. But he knew it was futile. You were gone, and no amount of wishing or hoping could change that.

With a deep, ragged breath, Jongseong finally allowed Ara to lead him away. His feet dragged against the soft ground, every step feeling like a betrayal, a distancing from the life you had shared. Ara’s head stayed resting on his shoulder, her silent support both a comfort and a reminder of the family you had built together. He felt the weight of her love, the warmth of her presence, but it wasn’t the same. It would never be the same without you.

As they moved slowly away from the grave, Jongseong couldn’t resist one last glance back. His eyes, swollen and red from the tears that had yet to stop, locked onto the casket once more, now almost completely covered by the earth. It looked so final, so unbearably permanent. The soft hum of the wind through the trees seemed to carry with it a whisper of the life they had once known, a life that was now out of reach.

The grey sky overhead mirrored the dull ache in his heart, its heavy clouds hanging low as if they, too, mourned the loss of something irreplaceable. The air was thick with the scent of damp earth and fresh flowers, but even that felt too bittersweet, a cruel reminder of the beauty that could still exist in a world where you no longer did.

As Jongseong allowed himself to be guided away, his shoulders hunched under the weight of grief, he knew that a part of him would forever remain at that graveside, buried alongside you. The rest of the world moved on around him, but for Jongseong, time had stopped the moment you left. Each step he took felt like a journey into an unknown future, a future without you by his side.

And as they walked further and further away, the image of your grave growing smaller in the distance, Jongseong couldn’t help but whisper under his breath, a final, desperate plea to the universe. “Wait for me, love…just wait for me.”

His words faded into the wind as Ara squeezed his arm gently, and together, they walked away from the place where his heart now lay, buried with you.

____

"I miss her," he says, his voice trembling slightly, breaking the stillness. It’s not just a simple statement—it’s a confession, raw and unfiltered, the kind that makes his chest ache as though his heart is being twisted by an invisible hand. He can feel the familiar sting of unshed tears burning behind his eyes, but he fights them back.

The living room is quiet again, but the kind of quiet that suffocates rather than soothes. Jongseong sits on the edge of the worn couch, his eyes fixed on the photographs that line the mantle. They are still - frozen moments of a life that once brimmed with joy and love. His mind drifts back to the present after the painful journey through memory, and he sighs, his heart heavy with the weight of a year without you.

The pain, sharp as it is, feels like a key turning inside him, unlocking emotions he thought he had long buried. A year. A whole year without you. Not a single day has passed where he doesn’t think of you. The mornings are the worst, when he still, out of habit, sets out two cups for coffee. He never drinks the second one - it just sits there, untouched, a quiet tribute to your absence. The daytime programmes you loved continue to play on the television, though they bring him no comfort, just the dull hum of voices filling a void. Visiting your grave has become his ritual, the only place where he feels some semblance of peace, though even that is shadowed by the overwhelming loneliness.

Jeyou shifts beside him, his own expression mirroring his father’s grief. He reaches out, gripping Jongseong’s hand with a firm, comforting squeeze. "I can't imagine what this day is like for you, Dad," Jeyou says, his voice soft, heavy with understanding. After all, he lost his mum, the one woman who sacrificed everything for him to attend the best schools, follow his dreams, and always made him feel like he belonged in this horrible world. 

He misses your soothing words, particularly on days like today, when he would give anything for your advice.

Jongseong swallows the lump in his throat, shaking his head slightly. "I only pray that you go first before your partner, so you don’t have to deal with this suffering," he replies, his voice hoarse but sincere. He knows how morbid it must sound, talking so freely about his son’s death, but he means every word. Losing the love of your life is an agony he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy, let alone Jeyou. It’s not something you ever get over. The pain is deep, cutthroat, and unrelenting, carving out pieces of your soul until you’re hollowed out, just an echo of who you used to be.

They continue talking for the next few hours, the conversation a gentle distraction, though the sorrow lingers in every pause, every shared glance. Minji and Minhee return from outside, running about the room, their laughter a bright but distant sound in Jongseong’s ears. He watches them, a small smile flickering on his lips. Their energy, their innocence, is a reminder that life does go on, even when it feels like yours has stopped.

As the night begins to peer it’s head, it’s time for them to go. Jongseong hates goodbyes now, even the small ones. Ara looks particularly reluctant to leave, her brow furrowed in worry as she watches her grandfather. She’s always been able to read him like a book, even as a child, and now she can see the light fading from his eyes, just as it has been ever since you left.

"I’ll pop around tomorrow, okay? We’ll get you some shopping in," Jeyou says, standing up and shrugging into his jacket, his eyes lingering on his father’s frail form. Jongseong looks thinner these days, the years catching up to him faster than ever before.

"Thanks, son," Jongseong replies, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. He knows how much of a burden it must be, looking after him, checking in on him. He should be the one taking care of everyone, the way he used to, but these days, it’s hard just to get out of bed in the mornings. The world feels heavier.

Minji and Minhee run up to their Poppy, throwing their arms around him in a tight hug. He leans down, pulling them close, inhaling the sweet scent of their hair as he squeezes them back with as much strength as he can muster.

"Be good, okay? I’ll see you soon," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. Minji giggles and gives him one last squeeze before darting off towards the car, while Minhee sighs in compassion for his great grandfather before following his little sister. He doesn’t know the full extent of everything that goes on, but he knows the old man is hurting. 

Jeyou lingers a moment longer, his eyes searching his father’s face. There’s concern there, etched deep into his features. "Look after yourself, Dad. I mean it," he says, his tone firm but filled with love.

Jongseong nods, offering a faint smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. "I will," he says quietly, but they both know it’s more of a promise to make Jeyou feel better than a commitment Jongseong truly believes in.

As the door closes behind them, Jongseong stands by the window, watching as the car pulls away, his heart sinking deeper into the loneliness that has become his constant companion. The house, once filled with life and laughter, feels far too quiet now. He turns, his gaze drifting back to the photographs on the mantle - snapshots of a life well-lived, of love shared, of a happiness he fears he will never feel again.

With a sigh, Jongseong walks to the mantle and gently picks up the frame holding your picture. His thumb brushes over the glass, tracing the contours of your face, his chest tightening with the ache of missing you.

‘Look after yourself,’ Jeyou had said. But how could he, when the one person who made life worth living was gone?

As the silence wraps itself around him once more, Jongseong sets the picture back in its place, his heart heavy with the weight of another day without you.

Climbing up the stairs, he makes his way to your bedroom, the day draining him of everything he has left. Jongseong steps into the bedroom, the air feels heavier, thick with memories and the lingering presence of you. The familiar scent of lavender still clings to the room, though it’s faded over time, much like the vibrant colours of the quilt you both once shared. He pauses by the doorframe, his eyes falling instinctively to your side of the bed. It’s exactly as you left it - untouched, sacred. He’s been afraid to disrupt it, afraid that even the slightest disturbance might somehow break the fragile connection he feels with you, like it might shake you wherever you are in the universe.

But tonight is different. Tonight, the ache of missing you is unbearable.

Slowly, Jongseong crosses the room, each step feeling heavier than the last. His heart hammers in his chest, his breath shallow as he reaches the bed. He hesitates for a moment, his trembling fingers reaching out to touch your pillow, the one that still sees your head laying upon. Tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision, but he doesn’t wipe them away. He lets them fall freely, each drop a testament to the love he’s carried for you all these years, a love that still refuses to fade even in your absence.

With a shaky breath, Jongseong lowers himself onto your side of the bed, feeling the mattress dip under his weight. It feels strange at first, like he’s intruding on a space that should remain untouched, but the yearning to feel close to you again overpowers the guilt. He lies down, resting his head on your pillow, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths as his tears soak into the fabric.

“I love you, Y/N. More than my heart and chest can hold in,” he whispers into the empty room, the same words he had once said to you all those years ago when he first confessed his love. It feels like an echo, like his heart is trying to reach across the vast distance between him and wherever you are now, hoping that you can hear him, feel him.

He swallows the lump in his throat, his body trembling with grief. "I don’t know how to do this without you, Y/N. Everything... everything is so hard now. Even getting out of bed in the morning. There’s no joy in anything anymore." His voice lowers to a near whisper, almost as though he’s confessing to the universe itself. 

The room feels impossibly quiet, the stillness pressing down on him. His mind races with memories of you, of your laughter, the way your smile could light up even the darkest day, how your hand in his made everything feel right. He presses his face into the pillow, inhaling deeply as if he could somehow capture the last remnants of your presence.

Jongseong closes his eyes, exhaustion creeping up on him, though it’s not the kind that can be cured by sleep. It’s a soul-deep weariness, the kind that comes from carrying too much pain for too long. He hasn’t allowed himself to cry like this in a while, always trying to stay strong for the family, but here, in the silence of your bedroom, he finally lets himself feel the full weight of his grief.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispers, his voice barely audible now. "I don’t know how to live in a world without you. I miss you so much it hurts... I just want to feel you beside me again, even if only for a moment."

He feels the tears slip down his cheeks, hot and unrelenting, but he’s too tired to wipe them away. His body sinks deeper into the bed, the familiar warmth of the blankets enveloping him, though it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same without you.

Jongseong closes his eyes, his hand clutching your pillow as if it were you, as if holding on tight enough could bring you back. The exhaustion weighs heavier on him now, pulling him under, and before he knows it, he’s drifting off to sleep - something that has eluded him since you passed.

Jongseong lies still, his breath slowing as the quiet of the room wraps around him like a blanket. The familiar scent of your pillow soothes the ache in his chest, though not entirely. His hand remains clutching the pillow, his knuckles white against the soft fabric, as if holding on just a little tighter might somehow bring you back.

His frail body begins to relax, the weight of the years and grief easing off his tired shoulders. His eyelids grow heavy, the darkness behind them more inviting than the empty, lonely room. He inhales deeply, filling his lungs with the scent of you; he swears he can feel you surrounding him.

Jongseong’s heart, worn and bruised by your absence, finds a strange calm. The sharp pain of loss that has haunted him for so long softens, as if your presence - though unseen - soothes him, guiding him gently. He can almost hear your voice, soft and familiar, calling his name from somewhere far off, yet so close.

Exhaustion weighs heavier now, pulling him further into that quiet space between sleep and memory. His body sinks deeper into the mattress, the aches in his bones easing as his breathing slows. In the stillness, each breath comes softer, more rhythmic, like the gentle ebb of a distant tide.

As sleep pulls him in fully, a peaceful expression settles across his face. The lines of grief soften, replaced by something close to serenity. His grip on the pillow loosens, his hand falling gently to his side.

And in that stillness, Jongseong rests, his breathing gentle, his heart finally at peace, as though in the silence of the room, he has found his way back to you.

_____

“Dad?” Jeyou’s voice echoes through the house as he steps inside, the door clicking shut softly behind him. A strange, unsettling quiet fills the space, not the kind of silence that welcomes you home but the kind that makes your skin prickle. There’s no familiar sound of his father calling out from another room, no clattering of dishes in the kitchen or the hum of the TV from the living room. It’s still. 

Too still.

He pauses at the base of the stairs, staring up as if expecting his dad to appear at the top, grinning, telling him to come up. But nothing. The quiet presses down on him, growing heavier with each passing second. Everything in the house looks exactly the same as it did yesterday - the framed photos of family lining the hallway, the shoes left in a pile near the door, and the faint scent of yesterday’s lunch lingering. Something feels...off.

Jeyou swallows hard, dread settling in the pit of his stomach as he places his hand on the bannister, fingers trembling slightly. He starts up the stairs slowly, the soft creak of each step the only sound breaking the silence. With every step, his heart pounds harder, his breath growing more unsteady. The house, once full of warmth, now feels cold, unfamiliar.

As he reaches the top of the stairs, the hallway stretches before him, just as it always has. But the air is different. It feels heavier, like it’s holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Jeyou walks toward the bedroom, his pace quickening as he reaches the door. His hand hovers over the handle, the knot of anxiety twisting tighter in his chest. He pushes the door open slowly.

There, lying on the bed, is his father.

Jongseong is still in the clothes he wore yesterday, his body lying peacefully on the bed, his hand hanging limply off the side, fingers curled and unmoving. His face is calm, serene even, as if he’s just fallen into a deep sleep. But the sight is all wrong. His chest doesn’t rise and fall with the steady rhythm of breath. The colour in his cheeks has faded, his skin now ashen and pale.

Jeyou’s breath catches in his throat, his chest tightening painfully. "Oh... no..." he whispers, the words trembling as they leave his mouth. His jaw clenches, trying to hold back the wave of emotion crashing over him, but it’s no use. His eyes burn, tears pricking painfully at the corners before spilling over, running down his cheeks before he can even bring himself to step closer.

He drops to his knees beside the bed, his hands shaking as they reach for his father’s limp hand, the warmth long gone. His fingers brush Jongseong’s skin, but there’s no response, no twitch, no familiar squeeze. His father is gone, and Jeyou feels the reality of it shattering through him like a blow to the chest.

He leans over the bed, resting his forehead against his father’s hand, the sobs he’s been holding back finally escaping his throat in broken gasps. “No... please... not yet, Dad,” he chokes out, his voice strangled by the tears, the grief clawing at his insides. "Please..."

Jeyou lifts his head, staring at his father’s peaceful face, and for a moment, it feels like he’s just sleeping. But the quiet, the terrible, awful quiet, tells him everything he needs to know. His father, the man who had been his rock, his guide through life, is no longer here.

There is a sweet irony in this moment.

As Jeyou's sobs echo softly through the room, Jongseong’s spirit hovers nearby, watching his son with a tender, bittersweet smile. Although he mourns the pain of his son, there’s no longer any weight on his heart, no sense of loss or longing. Instead, there’s a warmth, a gentle, reassuring presence by his side. He feels it before he even turns. A familiar hand slips into his, fingers intertwining with his in the way they always had, fitting perfectly, like pieces of a long-lost puzzle finally reunited.

He turns, and there you are, standing before him with that radiant smile that never failed to brighten his darkest days. It’s the smile that spoke of every quiet moment you shared, every laugh, every whispered confession of love. His heart, which had carried the unbearable ache of your absence for so long, suddenly feels whole again. The years of sorrow and longing melt away in an instant, replaced by the purest form of joy.

“Took you long enough,” you say with a soft pout, your voice light and teasing, just as it had been in life. There’s no hint of sadness or bitterness in your tone, only the playful warmth he’s missed so much, the kind that had always made his heart flutter.

Jongseong smiles in return, a gentle, peaceful expression settling over his face. For the first time in a year, he feels truly at ease. “I was caught up, sorry, baby,” he replies softly, his voice filled with love as he gazes at you. His hand squeezes yours gently, his fingers brushing over your skin as if to reassure himself that this moment is real, that you’re really here.

And then, without hesitation, he leans in and presses his lips to yours in a kiss so tender, so full of longing and relief, that it feels as though the time apart vanishes in an instant. The kiss is soft yet meaningful, filled with all the words he could never find to express how much he had missed you. It's like coming home - like slipping into the warmth of an embrace that was always meant to be. 

The sensation of your lips against his is more perfect than anything he remembers, as if all the love he ever felt for you has been distilled into this one beautiful moment. The warmth of it spreads through him, igniting his soul with a peace he hasn't felt in a long time.

Jongseong pulls back just enough to look at you, his forehead resting against yours. His soul feeling light yet beautifully full, free from the ache that had weighed him down for so long. He finally feels whole, finally feels like he’s where he belongs - beside you, where he’s always meant to be.

For a moment, he glances over his shoulder, back at Jeyou. His son kneels by the bedside, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs, the pain of his loss fresh and raw. Jongseong watches him with a soft expression, understanding the weight of the grief that will soon settle into Jeyou’s heart. But even in his son’s sorrow, Jongseong knows he will be okay. Time will heal the wounds, and Jeyou has the strength to carry on. He has a family, a loving wife, beautiful children, and the memories of both his parents to guide him.

Jongseong’s lips curve into a sad yet hopeful smile as he watches Jeyou. ‘You’ll be alright, Jeyou' he thinks, though no words leave his lips. He knows Jeyou will heal, just as he himself did once, after his own parents passed. There will be sadness, yes, but there will also be love, laughter, and life to carry him forward.

With that comforting knowledge resting in his heart, Jongseong turns back to you, his grip on your hand tightening just a little, as if to reaffirm the bond you’ve shared for decades. The past, the pain, the loneliness - it all falls away, leaving nothing but peace and love.

“Ready?” you ask softly, your eyes sparkling with a familiar warmth, as if you’d never been apart.

Jongseong nods, a contented smile playing at his lips. “Always,” he replies, his voice steady, filled with a quiet, unwavering certainty. With your hand in his, he takes the first step forward, leaving behind the world of sorrow and stepping into forever with you.

And as the two of you walk together, the light grows brighter, the burdens of the mortal world disappearing entirely, now walking hand in hand, just as you were always meant to.

_____

perm taglist: @immortalvee @sunpov @heeseungspookie @strawberrysavi @monstanctiny21

@diorsyun @heexzbae @yzzyhee @baekhyunstruly @zeeloveshee

@haechonly @berryblog @no-mannerism @jaehoonii

@notevenheretbh1 @shawnyle @addictedtohobi @jiminie-08

@emberuby @nctislifue @lilyuwon @skzenhalove

@heeshlove @idkdykilr @chocminteu @y4wnjunz @rikibun

@ivesti @parksunghoonsgf @branchrkive @brownsugarbaybee

@xxbluestrifexx @bambangan @dollyyun @iluvikeu @deobitifull

@yawnazzz @st1llm0nster @woorcve @heeseungsbm

@star-hoon @heelee-01 @wonnienyang @alternativelix

I offer you my everything (lhs)

pairing: heeseung x afab!reader

synopsis: You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy. 

my's note: i loved working in this so much. also i wanna emphasize that for god’s sake do not “lose” your virginity due to pressure or anything related to others. do it because you want to!! take your time, there’s no such thing as being too old for it neither need to rush. you have to enjoy it! that being said, i hope you enjoy this writing 🤭

warnings: fluff, pet names, explicit language, reader is insecure about having sex and some other things, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, virginity loss, kinda pillow princess reader (she doesn’t know what to do, so she just lay down and enjoy), protected sex 💪🏻, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), quick handjob. lmk if I missed something!

wc: 21k

NOT PROOFREAD.

taglist 💖: @yvnempire

Entering college was your dream come true. 

There was a whole fantasy of how your life would change for the better, the new ways of seeing life, dealing with problems – new problems!, meeting new people, going to university parties, starting your adult life. Everything sounded ethereal, almost utopian, and although you were a very down-to-earth type of person, you never stopped your imagination from flowing through the excitedly new unexplored area.

You used to have a very simple and ordinary life in your hometown, going to school everyday, getting great grades, not really engaging with romantic relationships and having a normal amount of friends and people who cared about you. 

Your parents were good people but quite strict with how you should live your life. It wasn’t much of a problem because whatever they were afraid of you getting into and “losing yourself” wasn’t really your cup of tea; you never really cared about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend – and your dad vehemently explained to you how disappointed he would be if you started to date someone with no goals in life or whatever. Doing drugs was way out of your interests, but you were very curious about the whole alcohol thing. And well, you wanted to become a journalist one day, so you pretty much studied for it and made your parents proud of you.

Overall your life was very… vanilla. And a strong part of you wanted it to be a bit spicy.

Not in an exaggerated way – and you had no problem with who wanted their lives to be –, nevertheless you wanted to really live the university experience, so your first months in college were actually dreamy, especially for being away from your parents’ grip and finally trying the taste of what freedom felt like.

You met your classmates and respectives professors, you got to know better about the available clubs and how to enter them, and you met your roommate, Ryujin, which thankfully ended up having enough common interests with you to make a healthy friendship grow. 

Making friends wasn’t a big problem to you as well, because even though you normally showed a very reserved version of yourself at the beginning, people around you just fell for your charms naturally, wanting to be close to you for your aura at first and then because of how supportive and funny you were once they got to know you better. 

Now, in your second year, you already had a spot on a small group of friends, who everyday would try to meet during lunch time to catch up on things and not freak out with the amount of assignments they were dealing with. 

The conversation always flowed nicely, you never felt insecure about sharing a piece of your mind with them since they listened to you well. You were really glad to have people like that in your daily life.

However, there was a single topic that you often would shut up about to avoid being the center of attention, and the said topic was an ongoing conversation right at that moment.

“I need to get laid,” Julie, one of your closest friends, said in a very dramatic way. You forced a smile that you were pretty sure that looked very awkwardly placed on your face. 

You could feel your heart beating fast with the idea of you becoming the subject in that conversation.

“What you really need is a good night's sleep,” Yunjin added with a chuckle, patting Julie’s head who shot a slightly upset look back at her. 

“For that I need to sit on someone. Like, I can literally feel my body aching for a dick,” she explained, keeping the drama in her tone as if she was sick. There was a reason for Julie to be in the theater club afterall. 

“For God’s sake,” Yunjin muttered, rolling her eyes but not really bothered by her friend’s behavior. She was pretty much used to it at this point, and well, quite the same but with girls.

You just watched as they both bickered with each other, hoping for you to stay out the fire and wondering when that conversation would finally become just a reminiscence of your day.

There was no shame on you for being a virgin. It was quite literally your choice since having sex was your last priority during your teenage years although you had guys interested in you in that aspect.

You weren't expecting the right one, your prince charming, nor to get married before. You just never cared much about having sex, and once you started to care you never felt comfortable enough with someone to show yourself so vulnerable, so openly like sex seemed to be.

Once your university life started to kick in and attending parties became a part of your weekends, you really thought that you would finally be able to free yourself enough to have someone with you in a bed, naked, doing sexual things or whatever. But what really happened was you feeling endlessly frustrated with yourself for panicking, finding lame excuses to run away from the possibility of having sex every time a makeout session started to be a bit more intense.

Alongside that often reaction of yours, you went through a tough moment with a specific guy, one you let yourself comfortable around, leading to you one day being in his bedroom while sharing a passionate kiss. With the amount of reassurance he showed you through the whole moments you were just flirting, you thought that sharing that you never had sex before wouldn’t be a problem. He was about to undress you from your bra when you told him, and then he halted his movements, overreacting as he said “I’m no sex teacher to teach college girls how to have sex”.

You never felt so humiliated in your whole life. Not only it became a trigger but also a new thing to overthink; the fact that some guys would see you as too innocent for their sex drive, refusing to do anything with you.

Nevertheless, you were still a woman with desires, with a libido waiting to be directed and mostly, curiosity. 

Your mind would flee to dirty, lascivious places whenever you saw a character you found attractive, such as actors, singers or even real life crushes, sometimes doing the bare minimum but still sparkling in your sexual self, wetting your panties – and in those days you blamed your ovulation. 

But the moment you tried to fulfill your fantasies with real people, your body refused to relax, your mind never stopping from the constant overthinking about either disappointing or just showing how inexperienced in the practical area you were, ending up embarrassing yourself. 

Since you also never looked out for the help of your friends, none of them knew about that part of your life and you always shared a silent feeling of gratitude for the lack of their interest in that area. 

The whole theme being a main focus on conversations constantly made you pretty uncomfortable, because everyone showed to enjoy their sexual lives fully, without any problems like you.

Although you had very incredible friends that you could rely on, you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety of being judged by them, so you always opted to stay quiet or managed to redirect the discussion.

As if someone had listened to your prayers, you noticed another friend of yours – Jake – coming in your direction with a big smile, his backpack hanging loose off his shoulders and someone a bit too familiar alongside him.

You waited for them to be closer to try to recognize the strange and… Shit. 

Your breath got stuck in your airlines when you realized that the guy with Jake was Lee Heeseung.

Your eyes followed how he took a seat in front of Jake, who sat beside you. None of your friends stopped the playful argument when they both arrived at the table, and for a little while you were glad for that, because you for sure couldn’t hide your surprised face and sudden dizziness for having Heeseung that close, looking unnecessarily attractive with his usual sly grin, messy black hair and strong presence.

Heeseung was the basketball captain of your university team.

You harbored a love for sports since childhood, not in a way of being a player but a watcher. During the first weeks of college you discovered that your university had a basketball team and you got really intrigued. Since then, it became your hobby to go over and watch them practicing during your free time or just to study for a while using the sound of balls bouncing on the floor as a background.

It was during one of your study days that you first met Jake, when he accidentally threw a ball in your direction and although you safely dodged, he insisted on taking you to what he called a date, but you weren’t much interested in him like that so you two became friends. 

Jake was definitely hot, but, well… You had a big crush on the very much attractive ace of the team. 

His movements looked meticulously calculated as if he had control of every part of his body, his pretty smiley face whenever he scored a point making your heart miss a few beats, not to mention the shameless winks he gave towards the girls who were watching the match just to make them scream. His overall performance was just sensational, making you wonder if the hands that were harshly used to grip the ball would grip your hips the same way.

Yeah, one of the in real life crushes you would get wet just by thinking about.

You forced yourself to believe that you had everything under control, since crushing on Heeseung was a waste of time and a sentence to have your heart shattered. You knew about his fuckboy reputation and definitely wasn’t planning on being the talk of the week of the “lucky girl that Heeseung fucked” or anything similar, neither wanted to face the consequences of getting involved with him – the amount of gossips going around with your name would increase considerably as people would try their best to destroy your self-esteem. 

Or at least that’s what you heard from your friends, wondering for a long time if people were exaggerating just because of jealousy. 

You weren’t that desperate to lose your virginity, although the thought of losing it to Heeseung seemed quite interesting – but, again, impossible.

Heeseung's existence in your life always resembled to be like an idol. Not in a sense of you idolizing him, but as someone you were intrigued by, loving to watch him by far, never getting close enough given that nothing could even happen between you two, especially because how would two different worlds collide like that? 

So in your own defense of how your body was reacting, no one prepared you to be so close to him without a previous warning, even with the fact that Jake was friends with Heeseung. Your brain just insisted on forgetting that eventual possibility.

“What are you guys talking about?”

And then you really panicked.

You also forgot that Jake was pretty much a gossiper and would rather know what the table was talking about instead of bringing another new subject to it. And now there was Heeseung sitting with all of you, making it harder to breathe and to focus on any other thing. You could feel the sweat dampening your armpits, the idea of you having to talk about your sexual life haunting you to death at that moment.

“Me getting laid,” Julie answered with a cheeky smile. 

“Oh,” Jake was taken back with her quick and honest response, you could notice by the way he slightly widened his eyes. Heeseung just laughed. And what a pretty fucking laugh. 

“Don’t act like you never fucked in your life, Jake,” Yunjin said narrowing her eyes skeptically, adding to the fuel.

You felt your cheeks and the top of your ears burning. And not only that, there was a very intense gaze right towards you that you refused to look up to meet. The scrunched napkins on the table looked way more interesting than anything else at that moment.

“I’m still not used to all your… Openness,” he motioned with his hands as he explained. You mentally cursed Jake’s oblivious self for giving Julie the right words for her to be even more blatant in her dramatic speech. 

“Oh boy, I really wish I’d be open–” 

“Julie!” Yunjin now screamed flabbergasted with Julie’s audacity, laughing loudly and smacking her friend's shoulder while you hid yourself in your hands, fully embarrassed. You couldn’t hold back a small, kind of a relieved laugh because the topic apparently was about to end.

You heard Heeseung chuckling with them and decided to search for his eyes just to meet them already on you, shamelessly checking you out. You instantly avoided his not a little soft glances at your chest and lips, but not with enough time to fail to perceive how he bit his bottom lip while still smiling.

“Care to present your friend?” Yunjin directed the question to Jake when she stopped laughing.

“I thought you already knew Heeseung,” Jake sounded confused.

“We do, but I don’t know if Y/N do,” she explained, pointing to you.

Now every pair of eyes on the table was on you and normally that wasn’t a big deal, you loved the attention your friends gave whenever you were the one speaking. But Heeseung being the owner of one of those pairs made it difficult for you not to blush harder.

“O–oh,” you damned yourself for stuttering, swallowing nothing. “I actually know him too, yeah. I– I watch the uni basketball practices sometimes.” You tried to sound cool, forcing a very awkward smile, but your voice was so obviously nervous you just wished no one would notice. 

However, Heeseung’s lips curved into a smirk told you that he, at least, noticed. And was enjoying seeing you so flustered.

“I’ve seen you there a few times”, it was his first words since he sat with your group, his voice sounding quite different from when you normally heard him – screaming in the basketball court with his teammates to hype them up. 

Your heartbeat was loud inside your chest, and you wondered if the reason behind was because of Heeseung’s intense presence, or how dreamy his voice sounded, or the fact that he had perceived you in his games. All the options sounding very unnecessarily smitten to you, who usually knew your place, grounded with your feelings, but apparently not with Heeseung and his charming face.

Jake nodded, smiling cutely at you. But not a cutely you enjoyed seeing; it was a mischievous grin. You gulped.

“Heeseung insisted on sitting with us today, saying he wants to get to know you better,” Jake nudged your shoulder with his’, wiggling his eyebrows while the girls hummed teasingly at you.

You widened your eyes, your cheeks with a tone of red spreading all over. You noticed Heeseung’s cherry colored lips still with a petty grin, his eyes slightly hooded as he faced you. That alone was enough to get yourself worked up, sending signals directly to your cunt. 

You literally clenched around nothing just because Heeseung smirked at you while holding eye contact.

Of course you would react like a teen that just got a confession from her crush mixed with a pervert that never had sex in her life and got horny by little things – which, in part, was true.

Nevertheless, hearing Heeseung laugh along with Jake’s next words completely dashed your hopes and your arousal away. 

“I’m joking. It’s funny and cute how you always react with things like this.”

You now had to blink a few times to recompose yourself just enough to fake a smile, trying not to demonstrate that your panties were a bit damp and you, frustrated.

“Not funny to play with a girl's feelings, Jake,” Julie uttered when she noticed your slight discomfort.

Now it was the time to take your realistic persona and act out of the situation, as you pulled your best facial expression in order to cover your kind of hurted heart. “There are no feelings,” you urged to say with a forced laugh, failing to notice Heeseung’s smile dropping for a second. “Yeah, it’s funny now, but I’m pretty sure you were on the verge of crying when I refused to go with you on that date,” you cocked your head with a raised eyebrow facing Jake, watching his expression contort in all the five stages of grief at once, his lips parted with widen eyes at the end.

“You’re mean,” he whined and you laughed.

“Only for you,” and you gave him a little wink before standing up and gathering all your things on the table to put back on your backpack. “I gotta go now, see ya later?” You looked at your girl friends who just nodded and said a cute goodbye to you, avoiding eye contact with Heeseung as you did so.

As you made your way to your upcoming class, your mind automatically flooded with thoughts about what just happened; you yourself questioning for how long you would be able to hide your inexistent sexual life from your friends, or even if you should keep doing it, due the fact that they could help you get over your insecurities and apprehensions.

Besides, it was becoming quite unbearable to cope with the frustration of wanting, yearning, and desiring, yet never being able to make a move beyond it.

And since when would Heeseung pay genuine attention to you? You couldn’t deny that even with your head making sure to remind you of the unrealistic nature of things happening with Heeseung, your feelings seemed to have been crushed in a very hurtful way.

There was a part of you that believed a bit in the fantasy of him being a very warm and approachable guy who would do cute things with you, respect your space and time and also be the one who you have sex with. 

On the other hand, you constantly reinforced the thought of being impossible and somehow weird. You felt weird. Like a true pervert of some kind. 

You spent the whole class thinking about what Jake said and how Heeseung's eyes wandered your features with something very similar to what you saw in some other guys. Desire. 

But at that point you comprehended that your mind had started to like to make things up. Jake was lying after all.

You just wished for your sentiments and needs to vanish quickly, or at least for you to be able to replace the person. In any case, you decided to avoid the basketball court for a few days. 

Not showing up to watch the team’s practice and games did not prevent you from running into Heeseung almost everyday, which was the main reason behind your decision – to get over your silly little crush on him.

Apparently fate had other plans for you and you honestly didn’t know how to feel. Heeseung began to be part of your group hangouts alongside Jake, now being a regular presence to the point where your friends would frequently ask his whereabouts, as if everyone in the group suddenly grew a liking for him.

And honestly, you couldn’t blame them. Apart from your tangled, weird feelings that for sure had something to do with how you envisioned him, Heeseung revealed to be a genuine sweet, caring person, easily breaking parts of your pre-concept about his stereotypes. 

His “player” aura was fading little by little, even though his confident demeanor kept its place on his every move.

Heeseung had gleaming eyes shooting you the most flirtatious, intense gaze, with equal glistened lips adorning the most endearing smirk, enough to make you lose your words, to lose your mind. Not to mention how often his body leaned towards yours in order to give you full attention.

Heeseung would cock his head and glance at your lips whenever you were the one speaking, simple behaviors messing you over and over, tempting you to dive into the pool of the unexplored, the so lustful field you never let yourself do a proper investigation, too afraid of surrendering to your feelings and needs.

The more you got to know him, the harder it became to dismiss the growing admiration and longing feeling running all over your body. Heeseung wasn’t just some fleeting crush anymore. He became something you couldn’t name yet, still fuzzing your mind, the crawling sensation on your skin wanting more and more of whatever he had to offer – just a look, just a smile, just some words, just some gentle brush of skins. Anything. 

At some point your chest started to palpitate just by the mention of his name, your blood running cold instantly as your whole posture changed, terrified of someone knowing about your feelings, about your dirtiest thoughts, about how he would visit your dreams at night to show you how much you craved his body. 

God, you were so fucked up, so desperate, and nonetheless, hesitant.

Something strongly held you back, even with Heeseung’s attempts to become closer to you, asking direct questions to you, trying nonstop to get to know you better, just like Jake once told you he wanted to.

You never let him in. Not openly, not with your words, not in front of him – you refused to risk having a broken heart because Heeseung was simply being his normal self and you, seeing beyond his charming facade.

Heeseung had occupied a spot in your mind from day one, ever since his damp, sweaty hair stuck on his forehead together with a cocky smile seemed way too attractive to your eyes and you began to pay more attention to his existence. That was true. But you only allowed him to do his proper mess inside your head after de-idolizing him; after the looks he gave to every other girl started to have you as the main target, after his hands “accidentally” brushed on yours during your moments sitting side by side sending shivers throughout your body, after he questioned about how you day have been and actually paid attention to your answer, your stomach doing flips every time.

Heeseung was now part of your thoughts because he showed genuine affection and worry about you, without you asking for it. And alongside all of that, he was so fucking and unnecessarily hot.

But what if all of this was just a game? Just another girl he messes around with, playing with her feelings just because he can. Just because he's attractive and you're foolishly falling for him…? 

…Falling for him?

“Stop overthinking,” Sunoo’s voice cut your roam of thoughts as he appeared out of nowhere, dropping his books on the table before sitting across you in the library, catching you totally off guard. 

“Damn it, Sunoo!” You nearly screamed, covering your mouth to restrain it, ignoring the librarian's angry glare.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he chuckled softly. “But your frown is screaming at me, what’s on your mind?”

“Ahm, just some media ethics stuff, y’know–”

“Cut that off, sweetie. I’m not asking about your studies. You know that. I’m asking about your frown, your overthinking frown,” he said, gently pressing his finger on your forehead. “What’s really going on in there?”

You sighed. 

The two of you had met in your first year when you realized you shared almost all your classes. Since then, Sunoo had become one of your closest friends – the trustworthy one, the always-down-for-anything one, and also the one who worried about you the most. He was a comforting presence, someone you could rely on to listen to your concerns and anxieties without judgment.

Still, despite this, you felt nervous. Your eyes darted around searching for any eavesdroppers, a few students scattered throughout the library, deeply focused on their studies, oblivious to your conversation. Yet your tense nerves inhibited you from sharing your true worries as you opened and closed your mouth a few times without being able to talk.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Sunoo asked softly, eyes offering you comfort as he held your hands and caressed them.

You nodded, watching his body instantly lifting up from his seat to help you grab your things and his own, snatching your hand with his to drag you around the campus until you found a quiet place near some trees. 

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Sunoo said as he leaned in one of the trees, watching your gaze avoiding his and your cheeks reddening a bit.

“I’m having some troubles, personal problems, if I’m being honest…” Sunoo said nothing, just nodded his head in a reassuring way although you weren’t looking at him. “It’s–” you gulped. Your mind screaming at you to shut up, because you were certain he would make fun of you. Sunoo, the guy who always had people crushing on, definitely would not understand what you are going through. You searched for his eyes, just to find them filled with compassion. “I’m–” You shut your eyes searching for the best way of saying. “I’m a virgin,” you blurted out in a low tone, your face burning with embarrassment as you refused to open your eyes. 

However, Sunoo's nonchalant reaction took you by surprise. “Okay, and?” Then you blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the lack of judgment. This was not what you prepared yourself for. “What’s the problem?” He sounded genuinely confused with your dumbfounded expression. “That’s all? I mean, if it’s really bothering you we can talk through it, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, sweetie…”

“So… You think that’s normal for a college girl to be a virgin? You don’t think it’s something to be weird or to be asham–”

“My dear Y/N,” he cut you off by holding your head softly to look directly into his eyes. “First of all there’s no such thing as what's normal or not normal when it comes to many things. Also, please never let someone make you feel ashamed of who you are or how you’ve chosen to live your life, ok?” Your honest reaction was to stare at Sunoo in astonishment. “Promise me, Y/N.”

“I promise,” your voice was muffled since he was holding you still.

“Now spill the real tea, because I’m pretty sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

So you vented out about everything running through your mind, your worries, your genuine curiosity mixed with a fear, how you were aching for something you were too afraid of getting – or letting yourself to get. 

Relief ran throughout your body, as Sunoo made you comfortable enough to go subject by subject in order to help you name all of your nameless and confused feelings, including to situate where your expectations were set. You wanted your first time to be enjoyable, that’s for sure, so you had to be with someone who would help you erase your turbulent thoughts by reassuring you regularly – a one night stand type of thing was not an option, you realized with Sunoo. 

You shared your apprehension on disappointing with your lack of experience, and to that Sunoo settled your nerves by saying “If the person respects you, you don’t have to worry about that,” and you discovered another name for what you wanted. 

The anguish of not knowing what to do or where to go was slowly diminishing every time you labeled what previously you were able to describe only as a ‘bittersweet feeling of panic and desire’. 

You also didn’t need to directly mention Heeseung, Sunoo himself brought his name after connecting the obvious dots of the said crush being Heeseung, especially since his glances at you and your reactions to it were anything but subtle.

“Don’t have to worry about that either, sweetie. I don’t think any of the others noticed it, they’re too oblivious sometimes,” Sunoo calmed you down after you almost cried due to your embarrassment of someone noticing your messed up self. 

Something Sunoo said reverberated throughout your day as well. “You will always be a virgin if you don’t have sex. And if you’re afraid of having sex because you’re a virgin, it’s an unsolved paradox.”

Your talk with Sunoo eased your mind, but also introduced a whole new scenery of thoughts – gladly not anxious one. You were depriving yourself of your own pleasure, of your own desire. And perhaps the real reason was because you feared… liking it. 

So after a good night of sleep, you decided to head out to your favorite place during your free time: the basketball court. Not necessarily to watch anything – or someone in particular, but to ponder what you had going through your head the whole night ever since Sunoo’s advices and sweet, reassuring words. 

Of course your choice of place would lead you to probably bump into a specific someone, and part of you really hoped for that.

While you drank your iced coffee, you wondered if Sunoo was being serious when he said that the talk about Heeseung in most cases was disconnected with reality. He didn’t explain much about it, but what he said was enough to intrigue you.

“Hey,” a far, but known voice snapped you out of your trance, and instantly your whole body heated.

You watched Heeseung jogging in your direction, panting a big, sweat dripping off his temples and his arms in display for you since he was wearing a sleeveless shirt.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you here,” he said, shooting you a small smile, easily walking through the seats by skipping them with his long legs until he got closer. 

“Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy,” you answered, fighting yourself not to tremble and to avoid glazing your eyes on his body, the team’s uniform looking gorgeous in contrast with his skin tone.

“Missed you, Y/N,” Heeseung talked with a gentle voice, his usual sparkly eyes growing wide as he realized what he just said. “I mean, I missed you being around, y’know,” he tried to play it cool and due to your nervous self, you barely noticed he was going through the same emotion.

He was so attractive, and for some reason the mix of his perfume with his sweat inebriated your air lines, making it a little difficult to breathe. 

Little did you know that Heeseung was in a similar state, lost in how cute you looked that day, your comfy outfit and the single ponytail doing your face features justice by letting them shine with a natural beauty you carried confidently.

Heeseung noticed you on the very first day you appeared to watch a game. He normally paid little to no real attention to who watched his practice, the flirty glances and winks thrown at the crowd usually was just for fun and no one in particular, but your sudden appearance was overwhelming, his stomach did flips and his so focused self was faltering before your presence. 

He had to take a good, long, cold shower after in the locker room to try to get over his exaggerated reactions. How does one get his heart pounding so fast, hands sweating and distracted concentration just because they are good looking?

He for sure knew plenty of attractive people, but none got his heart aching and his body craving like you did. 

“I’m sorry, I know I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you acted out of your bubble a bit. That would be a normal saying by you, actually. But around Heeseung you worked differently, actions more withdrawn than ever, flustered by the fact that his focus was on you, and only you. 

You barely had any moments alone with Heeseung, most of the time some friend of yours was engaged in the conversation as well, so to talk directly to him without having another person to cover up your nervous state was pretty difficult, especially by the way he held eye contact on you, as he was reading every bare piece of you.

“Yeah, I really don’t know what to do without you,” Heeseung put his hand on his heart dramatically as he said and you blushed, pushing his shoulder and avoiding looking at his face. 

And well, he wasn’t lying. 

Your constant attendance, whether to really pay attention to what was happening or just to quietly study as you regularly did, threw his mind into chaos. Heeseung had to physically restrain himself from jumping across the seats to ask for your number at first, your aura seeming a bit coy to him – not in an off putting way, but in a way that made him think you deserved someone better than what he could offer. Alongside that, he believed there was no way a hot, beautiful and smart girl like you would pay any attention to him.

It wasn't like Heeseung was insecure, he knew his strengths and how to work with them. A line of girls would eagerly wait for a chance to spend a night with him, though he never went that far with many of them, choosing carefully who he led to his room or allowed in his life.

Nevertheless, the feeling of having that kind of attention was addicting. To feel desired by them fed his ego, he never denied that. 

That alone convinced Heeseung that you, out of all his options, would never let him taste a crumb of what he really wanted from you.

And then there was the moment he got to know about Jake being friends with you. 

His instincts told him to give up, but he had to try, a demeanor similar to a man who never saw a woman in his life before, just to get a little bit of whatever you would give to him.

Heeseung grew obsessed with your presence, with you. Yet never bold enough to do much about it, too afraid of your so certain rejection. Then you suddenly disappeared and he missed you like crazy, to the point of befriending your friends simply to have a bit of your presence in his daily life.

To get you know better did no good to his health at all. He got enthralled by your sarcastic, funny personality, your endearing laughs and genuine love for your friends, spilling through your actions and words, always supporting them without losing your humor. 

Heeseung got a small taste of how it feels to have you around and he grew addicted – even more than for the feeling of being desired by many, more thrilling than the praise for his performance or the rush of winning a game. At the end of the day, Heeseung wanted your attention and your praises. 

After realizing it, he decided to step up on his game.

“So…” Heeseung cleared his throat after your silence. “Are you free later?” 

The question itself had nothing openly implied, just a normal, simple and direct ask. But God, why did your heart started to beat so fast? Why did your face felt like fire burning all over it?

You forced yourself to meet Heeseung's gaze, his eyes filled with anticipation and eagerness, just like your reply could change the whole path of his life. 

“Ahm, yeah, kinda. Why?”

You watched as his expression lighted up and how he tried to hold back his smile while scratching the back of his neck. Spotting Heeseung apparenting to be nervous ignited a different, sudden feeling inside you, as if you now understood that you affected him in some way. Or that he was a very good actor. 

“I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place– We’re going to throw a small party, so it’d be cool to have you there,” he nodded to himself, proud for not stuttering at all. When did inviting a girl to a party become that hard?

Unfortunately for him, you paid close attention to his behavior and body language, how he avoided looking at your eyes even though he was the king of maintaining eye contact while speaking and how his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as if he swallowed hard. All the pieces together put you in a new position, one that you felt confident enough to play on his game. 

“A party, huh?” You showed him a smile before biting your bottom lip and tilting your head to the side, as if you were thinking about his invitation, Heeseung’s eyes catching every movement and your eyes catching his not a bit subtle glances. “I’ll try to fit you in my schedule.” 

And you gave him a wink as you stood up to go back to your dorm without waiting for a response, knowing that your sudden courage would not last long to keep it going, not even realizing you left Heeseung in a total speechless form.

Attending a party alone was not something common to your lifestyle at all, same as accepting going on one just because of an acquaintance of yours. 

Usually your friends – Yunjin or Sunoo, in particular – would be the ones to tag you along, since you liked to go out but never got that extroverted side to be directly invited; you didn’t even bother to care much, because as said before, your friends were the ones in charge to lead you to the places.

In addition to that, not only would you have a company so you would not feel alone, but also a friend nearby to look after you – though your alcohol tolerance was pretty high, you didn’t trust yourself to make sound decisions sober, let alone drunk.

Later on, Heeseung messaged you saying you could invite the girls and Sunoo, but to your misfortune and as if fate was tricking you, all of them had other plans and left you hanging this time. Yunjin encouraged you to go by yourself, since Jake would probably be there as well as Heeseung, so you gathered all the courage you had left and decided to go.

Nevertheless, Heeseung wasn’t necessarily your friend yet. 

You both shared information about each other during the time he hung out with you and your friend group, enough for you to know his degree and some of his life interests like favorite movies, music and the fact he was a chronic gamer. 

Whilst you didn’t trust him enough to have your back if needed to, there was something on the way he oftenly treated you that broke down your doubtful barriers with ease, not only by his respectful manners but also by his desirable glances. Heeseung would look at you with a perfect mix of endearment and craving, like he wanted you so bad he would do anything, but never crossing the line, waiting for you to make the first move.

It was reassuring in some type of way, to feel wanted and at the same time, respected. Upon this conclusion, you felt confident enough to cross the opened door and to enter the house, hearing the loud music boosting through the speakers as a bunch of people danced to it, some of them seeming way too drunk already. 

The fluttering sensation in your stomach showed you not only the fear of being by yourself, but mostly the obvious, expected acknowledgment you would eventually bump into Heeseung. 

Before you could walk your way to the kitchen to get something to drink – a shot of courage, maybe, someone gave you a sudden bear hug and by the drunken voice you noticed it was Jake.

“You came!” 

“Yeah!” You answered with the same pitch, hugging him back, relieved that your whole internal dilemma ended quickly. Or you thought so. “You look kinda drunk,” you stated the obvious with a sarcastic tone, sly smile at him when he pulled out of the hug.

Jake literally giggled as a response and wrapped his free arm around your shoulder, dragging you around, his other hand occupied holding his cup. 

“Let me introduce you to my friends, you introduced me to yours so it’s only fair if I do the same, right?” You laughed at his very slurred words, as well as how cute he sounded having his cheeks flustered due to the alcohol. 

However, when you realized that he was leading you to his friends – and Heeseung was his friend – you almost froze, stumbling a little on your legs while your whole body tensed. You damned Jake for not letting you take your shot of courage before.  

“No need to be nervous,” Jake murmured close to your ear, his hands resting now on your waist as he continued to walk with you. The distance wasn’t that far, but Jake kept stopping to greet everyone along the way so it took you both double the time.  

“I’m not–”

“You’re doing the face you do when you’re nervous,” he pointed out.

“Am I that easy to read?” You let out an awkward chuckle, feeling shy at how transparent your reactions were. 

“Yeah,” he replied, causing you to now genuinely laugh at his sincerity. “You’ll like them. They already like you. Heeseung doesn’t shut up about you, so they're already familiar with who you are.”

What?

You had no time to think about his words or even react properly, a bunch of new friendly smiles greeting you.

“This is Sunghoon and Jay,” Jake indicated with his fingers to the ones sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. “The two over there are Riki and Jungwon,” Jake pointed with the hand that held his cup to the two who were standing and talking with each other, but when their names were mentioned they looked at you with curiosity. “And Heeseung you already know, but I don’t know where he is.”

Part of you felt relieved by Heeseung's absence, while another part was somewhat disappointed.

“Hey, you must be Y/N,” the one you understood as being Jay stood up to greet you with a hug, followed by Sunghoon.

“Enjoying the party so far?” The taller one asked, looking you directly into your eyes. You showed him a gentle smile as you answered.

“I kinda just arrived, so…” Sunghoon nodded, mouthing an ‘oh’ and sitting again on the couch although his gaze kept focused on you. You shook your head when he silently asked if you wanted to sit as well. “But I can say the music is pretty nice. Whoever chose the playlist has a good taste.”

“Thanks.”

You weren’t expecting to feel Heeseung’s presence close, right behind you. His sweet yet low voice making you shiver, a weird feeling tingling your skin. 

“I chose the playlist.”

You gulped down your flustered self to turn around and address your attention to him, just to meet his signature flirty expression, this time a little more… softened. He shamelessly checked you out, eyes sparkling in interest as he tried to hold back his smile, disguising it with a small smirk.

His outfit took your breath away, as he wore a black dress shirt that had the first two buttons open and a beautiful silver chain necklace contrasting his slightly tanned skin, every move of his tempting you to see what was underneath the clothing piece. 

You saw how Heeseung’s Adam's apple moved up and down before he raised an eyebrow playfully when his eyes landed on your face again. 

He paid attention to the way your cheeks turned into a soft shade of red that he was sure wasn't just because of your makeup blush, and damn, how could you look so hot with black skirt and an oversized black shirt? Your legs in full display to him to savor. 

“You look pretty,” he complimented you, sincerity and a taste of desire evident in his tone. You smiled shyly, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks.

“Oh, thank you. You look great yourself,” you replied, and although you felt flustered for being that close to Heeseung, you didn’t hesitate to maintain eye contact, focusing the most you could not to falter. 

Heeseung chuckled, his hands dipped in his pockets as he straightened his posture, quickly averting from your gaze before coming back to look at you again. 

So gorgeous, his heart was beating unnecessarily fast just by seeing you and even faster because of your compliment.

“I’m glad to hear that, y’know, I was hoping to make a good impression,” the alcohol in his system made him a bit bolder than he normally was around you, his body leaning subtly closer to yours, his eyes taking the typical glances at your lips.  

You huffed a flustered laugh, looking at him through your eyelashes. “You– You don’t have to try that hard, though,” you tried to speak confidently, and you actually did it, biting your lips as a way of restraining yourself from literally jumping on that hot, attractive, charming, man.

The little giggling noises behind your back made you aware that you were not alone with Heeseung to be that fearless, so you took a step back, suddenly feeling hesitant. 

“You think so?” Heeseung, on the other hand, didn’t care about his friends, maintaining his flirty aura as he stepped closer to you, a playful grin adorning the corner of his glistening lips. However, he quickly caught the slight discomfort in your posture and decided to give you some space, backing off. “Well, next time I’ll just let my natural charm do the work, then,” he winked at you and casually sat on the couch arm beside Jay and Sunghoon.

You felt a bit out of your place, your wobbly legs not letting you do much and you awkwardly self not knowing exactly what to do. Jake was long gone already, lost in the sea of people while the other boys chatted between themselves. You stood near to the wall next to the other couch arm, engaging in the conversation as they asked you a few things in order to make you feel included. Eventually, Jungwon and Riki joined as well, bringing you a drink, and you got to know all of them better. 

Throughout the entire time, Heeseung wasn’t subtle with his glances, eyeing you up and down, taking his sweet time appreciating your bare thighs and your lips whenever you spoke. And even when you caught him staring, he didn’t flinch, full of confidence, biting his lower lip just to wet it with his tongue right after, definitely not paying attention to their friends talking.

So excessively hot. 

Heeseung was torn between awe and frustration. Having you so close, yet so out of reach was killing him inside – he wished for you to take the obvious hints he was giving of being so down to kiss you, his body aching in despair. 

And he grew even more desperate and frustrated when Jungwon boldly asked you, “Do you wanna go dance with me?” 

Heeseung watched the subtle surprise in your expression as your eyes flicked to him briefly, missing the silent plea for him to repeat what Jungwon had just said.

Still, you hesitated for another reason. Normally one of your friends would push you out of your shell to do what you wanted to, but were afraid of. But not only Jungwon's cute smile got into your heart, you also thought to yourself it was time to make your own decisions, even the simple ones like accepting or not a dance.

“Sure,” you agreed, grabbing the hand he offered you, following him to the makeshift dance floor. 

Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t drift away from how your body moved with Jungwon’s precise lead, your hips synchronized with the rhythm, your happy smile lip syncing the song together with Jungwon. He watched his friend get closer to you to whisper something in your ear, making you laugh brightly, wishing to be the one to make you feel that way, to touch, to have you like that.

Heeseung was growing jealous of Jungwon’s demeanor around you, having his hands confidently resting on your waist, guiding you through the music with ease, whispering things he wished so badly to know what it was.

He knew he was shameless staring, Sunghoon mocking his reactions as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed by the sight of another man touching you.

“Why are Jungwon’s hands roaming all over her body like that?” He asked without taking you out of his sight.

“They’re just dancing, relax.” Sunghoon smiled playfully.

“Jungwon is just being nice to her,” Riki pointed out. “They share a few things in common and they both like to dance, so it was just a convenient situation, y’know? Nothing to worry about.” Riki tapped his friend’s shoulder.

“We all know the girl’s yours,” Jay said.

“She’s not mine.” 

Yet, Heeseung completed it on his mind, but his friends knew all too well about that too.

On your side of the story, despite the warmth of Jungwon’s company, you couldn’t ignore the weight of Heeseung’s gaze, taking a glimpse once and a while of his so unreadable expression. You couldn’t figure out if it was anger or envy or desire or frustration, Heeseung showed you a mix of everything and, God, you wanted so badly for him to do something.

“Heeseung is looking at me like he’s going to kill me,” Jungwon whispered in your ear, and you laughed nervously. 

“I hope he doesn't, you’re too nice and young to die.”

Jungwon chuckled at your response, and then noticed how your body tensed up suddenly. He followed your eyes and you both watched Heeseung’s tall figure standing up and walking towards you two. 

“Mind if I cut in?” Heeseung’s voice was smooth, just like him. Your heart started to race too fast when Jungwon handed you to Heeseung.

“She’s all yours,” Jungwon winked, saying a quick goodbye to you and heading back to his friends. 

Even with now being just the two of you, Heeseung didn’t touch you without your permission, partly because he was scared of not being able to control himself at all. He blinked a few times waiting for you to take the lead and his breath hitched when your hands went directly to rest on his shoulders. 

You gave him a reassuring look, allowing him to touch you, and nearly melted when his fingers found their place on your waist, caressing the place gently as he slowly moved you both to the music. Every so often, your eyes would meet and each time you couldn’t help but blush and smile shyly before quickly looking away, Heeseung thinking how precious you seemed acting like that. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” you started saying after the silence of your voices. “I’d love to dance with you a bit more, but I have to be honest, my social battery is pretty drained already,” your lips curved into a small, apologetic pout.

“Do you wanna go home?” He asked softly, bold hands now moving a bit more freely on your body. You shook your head, since going home equaled being away from his embrace. “Do you wanna get out of here?” You nodded cutely and he smiled, endeared by your behavior. “Come with me,” he said and kindly held your hand to lead you away from the party, not before stepping briefly in the kitchen to grab you both a drink.

Heeseung took you to the back of the house, being one of the owner’s he knew all the places where people could and couldn’t be, so a big part of you felt relieved for not having to deal with a crowd overwhelming your senses. 

“You look quite tired,” he uttered with a hint of concern, as you both walked slowly through the backyard, way less people scattered through it as you just followed him without thinking much about it, focusing on your drink.

“Yep, I think I overworked my social battery today,” you answered with a chuckle. “But it was pretty fun, though. Your friends are really cool.”

“They are.”

You both stopped walking at some point, Heeseung nodded his head towards the low wall that surrounded the house for you both to sit on it, a very peaceful, quiet place to run away from the party chaos. 

“What about you?” You asked curiously, tilting your head to catch his profile before he turned to face you.

“Hm?”

“You don’t seem to be the type to just sit back and watch the party,” you stated, swinging your legs as you finished your drink. 

“Yeah? What do you think I should be doing then?” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, intrigued by your perception about him.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, averting your eyes to anything but him when you said. “Banging with someone?”

“What!?” Heeseung exasperated, as if he was really offended. You laughed out loud with his extremely exaggerated reaction. “Is that what you think of me, Y/N?” 

“Well, y’know, it’s kind of hard to think otherwise. Your reputation doesn't help much,” you explained and forced your best innocent look when your eyes rested on him again. You tried so hard not to laugh at his very deeply offended expression. 

“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’m the person you think I am,” he huffed a laugh, biting his lips right after to glaze his eyes on you. “Don’t even know when was the last time I– Sorry,” he quickly interrupted himself with an embarrassed smile. “I might’ve overshared a bit.” 

You shook your head, smiling away your fluster. “You’re fine. But it's still hard to believe.”

“You should ask my friends, then!” He was really trying to defend himself in this one. “Ask Jake!”

“And he’ll tell me what? That you have a long list of women you hooked up with?” You teasingly wigged your eyebrows, nudging him playfully.

“God, no,” he whined and you laughed at his adorable frustration.

You didn’t know it was this fun to tease Heeseung.

“How do I put this… Mhm,” he looked away, suddenly flustered. You were slightly surprised by his demeanor. It was the first time you witnessed Heeseung being something similar to shy. “I like to kiss,” your eyes grew wide and now was your time to be nervous. “So when I go to parties, I might be found kissing someone if I’m really in the mood, but just because I like to kiss, y’know?” He continued, shrugging, trying his best not to sound crazy to you. “And what I’ve noticed is that the people that I kiss, turn a simple makeout into something more when they talk about it, which almost never really happens if I’m being honest,” he paused. “I can count on my fingers how many women I’ve actually taken to my room.”

You swallowed hard, almost audibly gulped, a mix of sensations running throughout your body with his confessions. 

“And I also enjoy the flirting, y’know. Their reactions flatters my ego,” this time he was so obviously teasing you after he noticed your embarrassment, finding it adorable how your cheeks got painted red.

You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulders in annoyance as he laughed. “I’m not joking, though,” he added. “But once I’m committed, I give up on all of that because I can only think about the person I’m liking.”

All that new information sent your brain into overdrive, unnecessarily attractive the way Heeseung’s voice got low at the end, as if he was telling you a secret, a lustful secret, shivers running all over your spine and you having no idea of what to do. You tried hard not to read between the lines. If you did, you would pick up on the message wrongly, because there was no way he was genuinely hitting on you.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Heeseung hurried to say, his eyes softening on you. 

“No,” you shook your head, chuckling. “I’m just… surprised. Didn’t expect you to be this open,” you admitted, your nervousness waving away from your body, feeling a bit more at ease around him. He still carried his cocky, flirty, charming aura, but now with a taste of honesty you appreciated. 

“I just wanted you to know me, instead of what people say about me,” Heeseung confessed with a tender smile. You nodded, glad for his sincerity. 

You both fell into a comfortable silence, the muffled noise of the party still going serving as a background. Heeseung was so terribly desperate to touch you again, his hands hesitantly hovering yours, yet never really touching it, as you obliviously looked at the scenery surrounding you, the trees throbbing by the quiet breeze relaxing your senses while you took a few deep breaths. 

“Do you wanna go back inside or…?” Heeseung sweet voice eagerly broke the silence, attracting your attention. He was hungry for you, even without tasting you before. His eyes were dripping honey as he watched you consider your options for a bit, pursed lips with a slightly frown.

The peaceful atmosphere embraced you, not only by the cool weather but also Heeseung’s calm, sweet, yet strong presence. You looked through your eyelashes at the adorable bambi eyes that waited anxiously for your answer, blinking slowly. Something has shifted in the air between you two, and surprisingly your body was relaxed with the possible outcome, your heartbeats strong in your chest.

“I’m fine here, actually. What about you? Do you wanna go back?” Your voice sounded way softer than you expected, and just then you realized how close Heeseung’s face was to yours, his alcohol breath mingling with yours mixed with the scent of his cologne, sending you into a trance. 

Your eyes naturally wandered through his beautiful facial features, his cute nose, his sparkly eyes, the little mole on his forehead, and of course, the oh, so kissable lips, tempting you so badly. You never had Heeseung that close to you, and he was so fucking breathtaking.

“No,” Heeseung replied under the same tone as yours. You observed how he hesitantly raised his hand near your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, chills running through your body with the light touch. 

Heeseung took your reaction of not backing off as a green sign, so he jumped off of his seat to place himself between your legs, your sweet perfume intoxicating him as he looked up at you. Instead of going for a kiss as you expected him to do, he gulped and just hugged you by the waist, his face resting on your chest as you heard him taking a deep, long breath. 

Your confused self tried to go with the flow, awkwardly caressing his dark hair, hugging him back. You didn’t understand what he was aiming for, and neither did he, to be honest. He suddenly felt so nervous he forgot how to act, and he realized your presence calmed him down so a hug looked just as right as a kiss.

However, you now were the one growing impatient. “Hee?” You called by his nickname, to which he answered with a muffled “Hm?”, loving the way it sounded in your voice.

“Do you want me to get down so we can kiss?” You audaciously asked, ignoring how hot your cheeks felt right after.

“Please,” he whispered as he parted away from you just to help you to get down, his hand rushing to grab you by the waist while the other cupped your cheek, every touch, every eye contact being so genuinely gentle. 

Your fingers traced up from Heeseung’s chest until they reached his nape to scratch the area at the same time you pulled him closer, and closer. His stomach did a flip with how much he was needing you, so it took no time for him to close the distance between you two, lightly shocking his lips on yours.

The first touch was tender, hesitant, as if you both were testing it out. You moved to grab his bottom lip with yours, your breath hitching a little, shivers of anticipation going all over your skin when Heeseung tilted your head to the side so he could deepen the kiss.

Heeseung hummed against your mouth when he finally tasted you, his tongue brushing yours and sending him instantly to heaven; he immediately tangled his fingers on your hair to pull you near, eagerly wanting more and more of you, before sliding the same hand to your waist, pushing your body to lean it on the wall, pressing his own on your’s.

You two shared an intense desire for connection, once fed by days, weeks only by the tension of your imagination, of ‘how it could be’ or ‘happen’. Now that longing no longer occupied just your minds, becoming reality the more your bodies attracted each other with every touch, discovering new places, new pleasures, new cravings.

Heeseung didn’t know he would yearn you even more after getting a taste of you, and God, you were so addicting. 

At some point you broke the kiss to catch your breath, Heeseung’s fingers exploring your body with a perfect blend of desire and respect, as if he was still waiting for the moment you would ask for a stop although he couldn’t resist to feel every piece of you. Fortunately for him, you were far from wanting him to halter his movements, his lips on yours making wonders on your system, your body feeling like melting for how amazing it felt to have him that intimately. 

Heeseung’s eyes searched for yours, his now darkened gaze made your stomach flutter, your skin tingling from desire. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered on your lips, brushing them slightly. You simply shook your head, capturing his plump-kissed lips again, holding him even closer.

This kiss started urgently, even with Heeseung trying to keep it slow. Your pulse was fast, you needed him more than anything and your whole body was on fire. You could feel Heeseung going through the same, his skin smooth and warm under your hands as you boldly slipped one of them under his loosen shirt to access his back from his neck, mildly scratching the area just to receive a groan as a response.

“Fuck,” he pressed his body flush against yours even more if that was possible, his mouth travelling away from yours to spread hot kisses and small bites all over your jawline and neck.

Naturally your head was thrown back to give him more access to that area, now being your time to moan as an answer. When you paid close attention to every area of yours that was being touched by Heeseung, you noticed his hardened bulge pressing your body and let out a little gasp.

The recognition of you wanting him as much as he yearned you had awakened something inside of Heeseung, making his head lose control and focus on only one thing: you. 

Heeseung was craving you like an animal. 

And his way of showing that was slowing down his kisses, his hands audaciously squeezing your ass, sliding through your body with a mastery it took your breath away. Hesseung was a fucking good kisser, working his tongue on yours just the right enough to make your legs wobbly.

But then you became too aware of everything that was happening and your mind activated all the insecurity thoughts you once had for knowing that the makeout session would never just end there.

When Heeseung tried to kiss you again, you used your hands to lightly push him away and avoided his lips, both of you panting.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked you with confused, puppy eyes. Your heart shattered instantly. 

“No, you’d never,” you kindly caressed his face. “I’m just– I…” You opened and closed your mouth, trying to find words that would not make you sound too off or that would make Heeseung slip away from you, but none seemed right. 

“Y/N, it’s fine, yeah?” He caressed your hips and then your right cheek, pecking your lips sweetly with a gentle smile. His dick in his pants painfully reminded him of how much he was in need of your body, nonetheless he would never force you to do anything, and just the kisses you shared was enough to make his whole year worth. With that in mind, he kissed your left cheek before saying, “Let me take you home, how does that sound?”

You smiled, even with the urge of crying knocking on your door so closely, the bittersweet taste replacing Heeseung’s in your mouth as you gulped it down your throat, damning yourself for being such an overthinked, insecure person that was too afraid of going all the way for God’s knows why. 

“Sounds great, Hee.”

As your usual response after any encounter involving men and the possibility of intimacy, you tried desperately to escape from meeting Heeseung. You would die to kiss him again, and again, and again… But at the same time, Heeseung wasn’t the type of guy who would stop at just kissing and you got a bit of the taste of that – your whole body was on fire just remembering his firm length pressing against your body, the little sounds he let out through the kiss, his hands pulling you closer and closer… And then you freaked out. As always.

Little did you know that Heeseung grew so obsessed with you and your intimate touch that night, that the mere thought of kissing you again consumed his mind just as much as you already captivated every corner of his head before.

The ghost of your lips lingered on his, haunted Heeseung’s memory, making him crave even more of whatever you would be willing to give to him, he would take anything at this point. 

Heeseung noticed you vanished from your obvious encounters, not only by missing the basketball game’s practice, but weirdly not hanging out with your own friends. The possibility of you avoiding him made his heart pound in a mild, strange pain, as he didn’t know the reason behind and simply deduced he did something wrong, like crossed your boundaries or anything similar. He couldn’t live with himself if that was the case and in order to correct that, he needed to see you and properly apologize.

“Do you think I’ve fucked up?” Heeseung was now in Jay's room to vent out his concerns about you, pacing back and forth. Jay was still half-asleep, barely knowing his own name let alone able to deal with Heeseung’s situation.

Fortunately for Heeseung, one of the perks of having a long-time friend is that the said friend would be open to hear you whenever and for whatever reason. 

“What do you mean?” Jay’s voice sounded groggy as he squinted his eyes to face the bright light coming through the window before searching for Heeseung in his room.

“She’s been ignoring me, like literally ignoring my texts and avoiding me,” Heeseung explained, fingers messing his hair nervously. 

Jay let out a deep sigh with a yawn while he sat straight on his bed, running his hand on his hair to try to make it as presentable as possible. “Have you thought about the possibility that she’s, I don’t know, going through something?”

“And how do I fix this?” Heeseung looked at his friend with a hint of desperation. 

“You have to let her deal with her stuff first, Hee.” Jay tried to sound as much as compassionate as he could, watching Heeseung taking the seat beside him on the bed. Jay patted his back. “I don’t think it’s up to you, at all.” 

“I know, it’s just frustrating. I want her so bad, bro,” Heeseung rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands.

“Yeah, never seen you so down for a girl like that,” Jay huffed a little chuckle, amazed by his friend’s behavior. 

“How can I not be? She’s so pretty, and we have such a good connection, and, God, her lips taste like honey. Like, her touches are so ligh–”

“Ok, enough,” Jay rushed to cut off Heeseung’s possible one hour speech about you, and now that you both shared an intimate moment, Jay was one hundred sure he didn’t need to hear such vivid details about it that early in the morning. “Let her do her thing, I’m sure she’ll eventually reach for you, bro.”

“I hope so.”

You weren’t too different from Heeseung though, feeling completely frustrated and in anguish. 

You got your panties dampened in arousal just by having Heeseung touching and feeling you the way he did, and he would not leave your thoughts alone for no second during your days, making it difficult to go through your classes and to focus on your studies without your foots nervously tapping the floor while biting and licking your lips due to your imagination flying by uncountable scenarios. 

All of them with the same outcome: you panicking and leaving him hanging.

“Spill it out,” Sunoo surprised you by hugging you from behind while you waited in the line to order you a coffee.

“God Damn it, Sunoo!” You slapped his arm, hearing him laughing at you. “Why do you always do this?” Your question sounded like a whine. He poked your sides before letting you go from the hug. 

“It’s funny how reactive you always are,” he teased with a smirk. “Order one for me, babe. I’ll pick us a table,” Sunoo said simply, as he started to move away from you. 

“But–”

“No but’s!” He called out already far from you. “I can see your frown from a mile away and I’ve known you long enough to know you’re doing what you like to do the most.”

Your flabbergasted expression was the only thing Sunoo saw before heading to a table on the corner of the store waiting for you to pick the both of you a coffee and head to share the seat with him. 

“I kissed him.” You blurted out as soon as you sat, eyes expressing a mix of despair and excitement. Sunoo opened his mouth in a perfect ‘oh’ that silently asked you to explain it better. “So I went to that party,” Sunoo nodded for you to keep going. “And I was dancing with one of his friends, and then he stepped in and we danced together. You know I don’t usually socialize alone that much, so I was feeling drained already,” Sunoo eyes were sparkling in interest, he loved a good little love story. “Heeseung led me to the backyard, and we chatted for a bit, he made sure that I knew his reputation was all talk,” you chuckled, remembering how anxious he looked trying to explain himself. “And now that I know this, it makes total sense. I never really saw him doing anything too explicit in public, so…”

“Ok, babe. I got that part,” Sunoo rushed you. Normally he would listen to every single word you were saying in order to fully help you, but he was so invested in getting to the point he couldn’t help his impatience. 

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Well, we had a little moment y’know and then we kissed, very cute and all that jazz. Until the things… shifted a bit,” your cheeks blushed.

“Oh?” Sunoo's eyes grew wide just like his smile. “Did you..?”

“No! I didn’t,” you pouted. “That's the thing. I freaked out. As I always do. And now I’m even more desperate than before, because I got to taste what he can offer me and I want more, but I’m so, so, so afraid,” you whined, almost crying as the words came out of your mouth without you caring if it made sense or not.

Sunoo sighed, his orbs now filled with reassurance as he held both of your hands. “Did he force you to do anything?” You shook your head. “He stopped when you asked him to?” You nodded. “Then I don’t think you have to be scared of anything, Y/N,” you were about to interrupt him, but he kept talking. “Listen, if Heeseung it’s into you the way it looks, he’ll respect your boundaries and wait for your consentment. And if he tries something funny, y’know I’ve got your back. I can punch really hard if I need to.”

You chuckled at his wording, knowing that was actually the truth. You were blessed to have someone like Sunoo in your life. “Thank you, Sunny,” you said sincerely. “I’m very grateful for having you.”

“No need to thank me, sweetie,” he kissed the back of your hand, before clapping his and saying excitedly. “Now let’s work on a plan of how you can relax and finally get that dick.”

“Sunoo!” You exclaimed, exasperated, and your friend's loud laugh was the only response you got.

“See you tomorrow, captain.”

You leaned your back against the wall near the door, watching a group of guys walk out of the locker room, some of them narrowing their eyes at you to which you pretended not to see, fakely paying attention to your phone, hoping none of them would stop to talk to you. You had one person in mind only.

“Oh? What are you doing here?”

And it was definitely not Jake.

“Oh, hey,” you smiled awkwardly, pushing your body away from the wall to face Jake. Your eyes darted over his shoulder, scanning if someone was coming after him just before you turned away from the door. “I’m wai–”

“Y/N?”

Your blood ran cold at the sound of your name being called by the voice you only heard in your dreams for the past few days. You tried to swallow down your tension and your shivers, barely registering Jake stepping away from you two to give the space you both needed.

Your body slowly turned to face Heeseung. His hair was wet, and he had a flustered, tired face from the game, a backpack hanging loose from his shoulder, and a small towel on his hands that he was using to dry off the water from his recent shower. His cherry-red lips were slightly parted, and his heavy breathing made your stomach and heart fluttered.

What a fucking vision, you almost whispered.

He had a blend of surprise, happiness and worry in his expression, which softened right after you showed him a small smile, your voice sounding as sweet as honey. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he mimicked your kind tone, his lips curving into a smile as well. He observed your adorable reddened cheeks and your big doe eyes staring at him, filled with expectation. “How are you?” He tried to sound casual, but his voice came out so obviously holding back his desperation. His heart was racing fast, a genuine wave of joy and relief running through his body. You had no right to show up looking so damn cute and expect him to act normal, as if he wasn’t missing you like crazy.

“I’m good,” you replied softly.

Heeseung nodded, never breaking eye contact. You tried hard to figure out what was left unspoken through his intense, yet tender gaze; your skin aching, yearning for his warm touch just one more time, just like that night, just as a reminder of how good it felt, just so you could bring to reality everything that went through your thoughts since the last kiss.

You really wished Heeseung were feeling the same way, or at least something close to it, otherwise you weren’t sure if you could deal with rejection after you struggled to gather all your courage to encounter him.

The tension in the air was suffocating you a bit, the endless silence was killing you inside, nevertheless you couldn’t find the right words to start anything coherent. Gladly Heeseung perceived your body reacting to the strange atmosphere between you two, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel uncomfortable or to make things weird in your little relationship.

So he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours as he bit his bottom lip. “I’ve missed you,” he confessed without realizing he just did, voice quiet, almost like a whisper. You watched his eyes growing subtly wide before you drifted away from them.

Your heart skipped a beat, your cheeks heating up and your hands trembling with the unexpected confession. “I’ve missed you too, Hee.” You admitted looking at the floor, unable to keep looking at the eyes that showed you too much affection right now.

The desire once never forgotten grew stronger inside Heeseung’s chest, he needed you more than anything. His hand reached out for yours, the light brush of your skins sending chills through your spine and taking your breath away. “Can we talk?” He asked softly, relief running on his body when you held his hand back. 

“Yeah, we can,” you nodded, now looking up, not containing your smile as soon as you met his face all lightened up.

“Okay,” he left out a little chuckled, too happy for his own good. “But not here.”

Heeseung and you walked out of the building together, his hands’ grip tight on yours as you simply followed his lead. Your brain was spinning inside your head with the amount of thoughts going on. You didn’t know what to expect the conversation to be, let alone what he would do with you – or what you would do with him. The anticipation was eating you alive, and you thanked God when he stopped in the private area of the campus’ parking lot, guiding you to stand in front of him while he leaned his back on the wall.

“I was not joking when I said I’ve missed you,” he started, now holding both of your hands. You took a step closer, so you could show that you weren’t lying either. “I have to ask, though. Did I–”

You interrupted before he could even start the question, because from the little you knew about Heeseung, he was going to blame himself. “I’m sorry for my reaction that night. I– I think I was a bit overwhelmed,” you explained, focusing the drawings on his shirt to avert his eyes. “I really enjoyed kissing you, God, you have no idea,” you said with a soft laugh. “But I freaked out,” you gulped. “I freaked out because I’ve never–” Your cheeks were burning like fire due to your embarrassment, your words stuck on your throat. Heeseung gently squeezed your hands in a reassuring way, leaning a bit forward to search for your eyes. You finally looked up at him.

“I’ve– I’ve never gone further kissing someone,” your voice came out as an unsteady, low whisper, while you quickly avoided Heeseung’s gaze again. 

But he made sure you would be looking right at his eyes when he said his next words, tilting your chin up with his finger. “I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you, angel,” and he was so, so tender to you. His hand left yours to caress your face with a softness that almost made you melt, automatically leaning into the touch. The new nickname sent a flutter through your stomach. 

“No,” you hurried to say, shaking your head. “You didn’t. It’s just… Me. Me being an insecure mess, I guess,” you laughed awkwardly. 

“Hey, you’re not a mess,” he now held your face between his large hands, forcing you to maintain eye contact. “I loved kissing you, baby. Would love to do more than that,” he smirked, not only showing his desire, but also his understanding. His words and his actions worked in a perfect sync to make your body instantly react, the pulsing sensation between your legs showing how much you were affected by him. “But I would never force you to do anything.” He released your face, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before his hands rested on your waist in a comforting manner. “Would it help if we talked through your insecurities?”

Heeseung was an angel, you realized. A perfect blend of a compassionate angel and a devil who fed your deepest fantasies. You blinked twice to process his offer, not once in your life imagining you would meet someone willing to hear you so openly. “Are you sure?” You asked, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulders.

His lips curved into a mischievous, shameless smirk. The so known cocky, flirty aura making its appearance just to falter right away, as if he remembered it wasn’t the moment to act like that. You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side when he vacillated to speak.

“Now you have to say exactly what you’re thinking.” You said firmly.

“I don’t think I sho–”

“Lee Heeseung,” your voice was serious and he sighed defeated.

“Okay, okay,” he locked his eyes on yours, a hint of playfulness and craving mixed, causing your heartbeat to increase. “Yes, I’m sure I wanna hear what you’re insecure about, Y/N,” he leaned in closer, just to murmur. “I have to know what I’ll be fucking out of you.”

Your eyes grew wide with his sincerity. Yes, you did ask, but fuck, how does one say something so casually? Your whole face was burning with fluster, your flabbergasted expression was clear as crystal water, your brain stopped working properly and you had no fucking idea of what to say or do. 

“I’m sorr–”

But for some reason, shutting Heeseung up with a kiss sounded right.

Your lips shocked against his with a passion you never felt before. Heeseung’s words, the way he touched you, how his body reacted at the simple act of kissing you and having your hands discovering places on his body – everything made you feel secure and desired, the right mix to make it work on you. Heeseung made his way through your shell, placing himself right before your insecurities and little by little, without doing much, he was helping you get over them.

Heeseung shamelessly moaned against your mouth when you bit his bottom lip, sucking it before coming back with your tongue hungrily searching for his’, your heavy breaths mingling while you both devoured the kiss with vigor.

You parted away to speak, your voice sounding low and too sensual for Heeseung’s health. “I hope you’re loyal to your words, Heeseung.”

He took in your now darkened, full of lust, eyes and your swollen, glistened lips due to the urgent kiss you just shared. The view alone made him go insane. “Oh, I am,” he murmured, voice deep and husky, his cocky grin making him look even hotter. He gripped your waist tightly and maneuvered your both so he could press you against the wall, placing his lips on your ear to spread a few kisses before saying, “I’m a man of my word, Y/N. And I’m gonna make sure you never doubt yourself ever again.”

You let out a small gasp and then a little whine, your lips parting and your eyes hooded as you relaxed your body, ignoring your mind screaming at you to run away, replacing the anxiety with the craving you cherished for God’s know how long. 

“I want to hear every single thought that is holding you back, and then, I’m gonna make you forget about all of them,” Heeseung’s breath was hot against your skin, just like his lips, biting, sucking, kissing every area he had at his disposal. 

“Is that a promise?” You decided to play with him on his game, knowing you had no chance against the player anyway. Nonetheless, the foreign feeling growing inside you made words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them, and it was so fucking good.

“Yes, angel. It is a promise,” Heeseung halted his intense diving into your neck to look deep into your eyes. “But I can’t take your virginity here, in a public parking lot.”

Normally you would fumble into a chain of embarrassment and nervousness with your intimacy being said that openly. However, Heeseung managed to word it in a totally different way. His voice was low, sultry, filled with a raw desire that made you realize he still wanted you, even after you admitted inexperience. Heeseung ignited a fire in you.

And then you remembered. You lived in a dorm. “Don’t get me wrong,” your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it back a little. “But I can’t take you to mine.”

His forehead rested on yours while he chuckled, a bit disappointed. But not on you. “Yeah… I can’t take you to mine, as well. Not today, though.”

“So…” You blinked innocently, not knowing exactly what to say or do. 

“We’re not finished yet, angel.”

Unfortunately for you, you realized that what made you so confident and down to go all the way with Heeseung was the fact he was with you, his smooth foreplay skillfully easing your body to relax and enjoy instead of overthinking. 

His kisses helped you to forget your concerns and his hands guided you in a way you didn’t have to worry about what to do, not to mention the fact that he was willing to have sex with you even after you shared your insecurities with him. 

When you two recognized that it wasn’t going to happen that day, the heat went down and you two decided to sit in Heeseung's car to share some more kisses while chatting. Heeseung always reassuring you through his caring – and hot – touches, listening to every word of yours with compassion dripping out of his eyes, understanding and explaining openly to you about what you were curious about.

You didn’t really open up about everything as you usually do with a friend like Sunoo, partly because you believed it would work as a huge turn off and Heeseung would leave you. But also because you recognized that a lot of your thoughts were beyond your control, like the shape or size of your breasts and other similar things.

Heeseung made sure you understood that besides anything, he would find you sexy no matter what, which made you blush and hide your face on his chest while he laughed at your reaction, but it also made you believe his words and feel more confident about sex. 

Nevertheless, through a whole week, a bunch of “do you wanna come over?” texts were dismissed with a lame excuse from you. As said before, his kisses made you ease your mind, and answering such an important question like that without having his mouth working on yours to make you forget about your messy mind, was damn difficult. 

What you didn’t know is that Heeseung wasn’t actually planning to have sex with you the times he invited you. He literally just wanted to hang out. Of course he aimed to kiss you eventually, however his main objective was to make you comfortable with him being around, touching you in places you never got to be touched before, making sure you knew how much he craved your body, how much he wanted you, and that you were safe.

It was a busy week, afterall, full of heavy practices because the final game was getting closer and your presence on the bleachers was one thing that didn’t stop happening this time. You avoided being alone with Heeseung as much as you could, but your lips always missed him, so you had to make the tremendous effort of watching him in every practice. 

“He’s so good,” Julie whispered close to your ear, startling you.

“Who?” You asked confused.

“Your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you rushed to reply with your cheeks already gaining some color. 

“Cut that off, he’s head over heels for you, girl,” Yunjin pointed out on your other side. “It’s almost annoying.”

“Yeah, and you always have this weird look in your eyes whenever you see him,” Julie nudged you with her shoulder. “Like you’re always wanting him so bad,” she said with a forced sensual voice. “I bet the sex is amazing.”

“I don’t think you should be talking about Y/N’s sexual lif–” Sunoo tried to interrupt the subject, noticing your discomfort for being smashed between two – sometimes – very indecent girls. 

“No, but like. She never talks about it. I’m so curious,” Julie whined. “They say the quiet ones are the worst.”

The whistle indicating the last quarter of the practice was over and you jumped out of your seat, running down the stairs to meet Heeseung, not only to be with him but mostly to avoid Julie and Yunjin's inconvenient questions. You didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them about anything sex related, since they both were very sexually active and their actions seemed a bit off whenever you became the topic of the conversation. 

“What’s with the hurry, baby?” Heeseung smiled big while hugging you when you jumped on his arms, caring little to nothing about his sweat sticking to your skin. 

“Missed you,” you said muffled against his neck, your heart beating fast while you felt him moving you to walk on your back, still clinging onto him.

He stopped walking at some point and you let go of him. “I gotta take a shower. I’m getting you all dirty, angel,” your cheeks burned with how you interpreted his words, widened eyes as you looked at him. Heeseung noticed it. “Hey, you dirty minded girl, I’m talking about my sweat on you,” he sneaked his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him to walk with you towards the locker room. 

“I don’t think your explanation makes it less worse.”

He laughed out loud, throwing his head back with your audacious phrase and typically you would find it endearing how he looked so handsome smiling big. This time you paid more attention to his neck and how his Adam’s apple seemed more attractive than ever. His sweat dripping out of his honeyed skin was doing no good to you as well, messing with your head, filling it with horny thoughts.

When you arrived, you patiently waited for Heeseung outside the locker room, greeting a few team’s members you’ve come to know, since it’s become a routine for you to be around.

You were playing on your phone when he left the room, glancing at you with a pretty smile and offering you his hand.

You two walked your way to the parking lot, a common everyday thing you started doing after the days he had practice. Oftenly you would be in his car for a few minutes, sharing caresses and sweet talks, before he drove you to your dorm. 

“Will you watch me tomorrow?” He asked with sparkly, expectant eyes, swinging your arms.

“Of course I will, Hee,” you looked at his side profile. “Don’t forget, I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you winked playfully at him, remembering one of your firsts dialogues alone with him. 

“Yeah,” he stopped walking to pull you closer by the waist, his voice softened. “And I don’t know what to do without you,” his eyes glazed on yours for a while, dripping affection. It took just a second for his lips to find its home on yours, kissing you slow and sweet, enjoying every bit of your addicting taste.

He parted with a little smack sound, pecking your lips a few times. Your breath hitched with his tender touch. He held your hand again so you could keep walking. 

“The coach was afraid of me dating you, he said you could be a distraction to me and bla-bla-bla,” he huffed a laugh, you, on the other hand, froze. Dating? “Little did he know you’re the main reason I have a good performance. I need to impress my girl.”

You had a very shocking expression on your face when Heeseung looked at you to see why you went quietly suddenly. You stopped on your tracks and turned to him, lips parted as you blinked without saying a thing. 

“What?” Heeseung cocked his head, his bambi, confused eyes shined, trying to read you.

“We’re dating?”

“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I never asked yo–”

“You never asked me–” You both said at the same time and stopped, also at the same time. 

Heeseung cleared his throat and with a deep breath he rested his eyes on yours, automatically smiling. “Well, if you’re okay with it, I’d love to call what we have dating.” He said adorably with his hand squeezing yours, “I just assumed we were on the same page, but I’m okay if you don’t want to define it or wanna talk about it more. I’m always all ears for you, Y/N.” He leaned in slightly, his eyes never leaving your. “I mean, I just wanna be with you, and if you are fine with me calling you my girlfriend, then I’d be more than happy to call you that.”

All his words sounded like babbling to you, because that moment, in the middle of the parking lot, you heart skipped a beat as you realized you were so fucking in love with Lee Heeseung. 

You were sure you had heart eyes while staring at his anticipating expression, and you couldn’t care less. You pushed yourself forward so you could kiss him passionately, his hands coming to hold you by your jawline, moving so slowly, so lovingly, so sincerely.

It was a different kiss, it was a love kiss, a confessional kiss, a kiss you only were able to have because of its genuine intentions. 

“I’d love to call you my boyfriend, Hee,” you whispered against his mouth, smiling brightly as he shared the same expression, the same emotion.

As intense as a final game normally is, you couldn’t help but tap your feet on the ground, to the point of you standing up to pace back and forth. The rival university was ten points ahead in the fourth quarter and the minutes were ticking down.

You could see Heeseung's tensed body from afar, the seat you had helping nothing with the view of the game – you took advantage of being the captain's girlfriend to ask to watch the game from up close. But it was your worst decision so far, because you barely saw anything. 

The tension was palpable in the air, your breath caught in your throat at every pass. Your university team managed to close the gap at some point, and when you looked at the clock, the 10 seconds countdown was shining.

Your heart dropped when you saw Heeseung’s bold move of stealing the ball from one of the opposing team member, the crowd yelling as he sprinted down the court, for a fraction of seconds you catched his glance at you, before he focused fully in dribbling whoever entered his way, and then he launched himself into the air, his perfect form aiming directly for the three point line. 

Everything became slow motion as you watched the ball going straight through the hoop, the whole gym exploding with loud cheers as you yourself jumped and hugged whoever were near you with a big smile.

The whole team crowded Heeseung to celebrate, everyone of them shining big smiles but you paid attention to only one. And the said one was searching for you in the sidelines. He broke free from them to jog to you, who also was running in his direction. You jumped on his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and he swirled you while screaming excitedly. “We did it!” 

“You did it, Hee. I knew you could do it.” You answered as happily as him, laughing with joy and tightening the hug. 

Heeseung softly landed you on the ground, his eyes gleaming with his victory. He cupped your face with his large hands, pulling you into an eagerly sweet kiss, no trophy topping the feeling of having you like that.

The cheers grew louder as everyone watched the romantic scene, however nothing seemed real around you two, lost in the bubble you’ve created. “I did it for you, angel,” he murmured against your lips, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I told you before. I have to impress my girl,” and then he kissed you again, your smiles you shared mingling between breaths and small pecks, before he hugged you tightly one more time.

The celebration went for a while. From afar, you observed Heeseung being surrounded by his friends and teammates, getting praised for his skills and how well he did that match. 

You watched from afar how bright and full of joy Heeseung was, his whole face glowing, surrounded by his friends and teammates, celebrating the win, getting showered with praise by everyone. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but remember all the times he got flustered by your compliments, his shy smile in contrast with his darkened eyes, as if your words woke something inside him. You made a mental note to take a little advantage of that later on. 

“The guys left the house for me tonight,” Heeseung murmured as he finally approached you already outside the building, placing his hands on your waist while yours naturally settled on his shoulders. His voice dropped to a tone only you knew the meaning of.

Instantly, your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?” Your voice came out low.

You took in every detail of his beautiful face, his demeanor now softened since a big part of the adrenaline had left his body by now. Despite that, his eyes still sparkled with adoration and a hint of desire. Heeseung licked his lips, sucking his lower one while shifting his gaze between your mouth and your adorable, innocent, yet lustful eyes. 

“Yeah,” he mildly nodded, leaning in closer, but he unfortunately got interrupted by a voice you recognized immediately. Your eyes grew wide.

“Look at you two!” Julie squealed with a smile, clapping excitedly. “You did amazing, Heeseung.” She complimented your boyfriend giving two thumbs up, and you tried to hide your embarrassment by tilting your head towards Heeseung’s chest, who hugged you sideways. 

Yunjin, who was with Julie, nodded in agreement, also smiling. “Yeah, that last point was incredible,” she added, giving your shoulder a teasing nudge to whisper closer to you. “I bet you’re dying to get out of here, huh?”

“Thank you,” Heeseung said with a smile, while you gave an awkward grin in response to Yunjin.

“We’ll leave you two alone,” Julie said with a wink. “Looks like someone’s eager for some private time.” With a final ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck,’ Julie and Yunjin left, leaving you with an astonished, shy expression, and Heeseung with a contained mischievous grin. 

“I’m sorry about them,” you whispered, watching them go before searching for Heeseung’s eyes just to see them already glancing playfully at you.

“Are they lying, though?” Heeseung asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You smacked his chest, unable to give a proper response as you buried your face on his neck, muffling a quiet “Stop,” while he hugged you and let it out a precious laugh.

“But… Can I take you to my place today?” His question sounded a bit hesitant, still sweet as honey, while his fingers gently caressed your back. “We don’t have to do anything, I just wanna be with you,” he explained with kind eyes after you released yourself from his embrace to face him.

You nodded, “You can,” and offered him a small, genuine smile, making him lose control with your beauty and cuteness and kiss you before heading to his car with you.

The drive was calm, nonetheless your body was pretty tense on the car seat. Your brain was spinning with that night’s outcome. While you had an intense desire to finally have Heeseung the way you dreamed of, you couldn’t help but feel anxious about it too.

You craved his body, his touches, his lips, overall, him. And he had demonstrated to be a good guy so far. Heeseung respected your boundaries, always making sure you felt comfortable even with the minimal invasive touches, like when he tried to touch under your skirt one day and you startled in response. He murmured a billion “I’m sorry’s” after the episode, and that alone had your heart fluttering in passion, allowing him to slide his bold touches wherever he wanted to, but never further enough to have you fully.

You gulped down your nervousness, looking at Heeseung’s side profile illuminated by the night lights – his honeyed skin was glowing, his black hair messy with sweat, some strands of hair sticking on his exposed forehead, his perfect nose and kissable lips, everything made you dive into your dirtiest thoughts.

You only noticed you arrived at his house when he broke the silence by announcing it, opening the door for you and grabbing your hands instantly as he led you inside the house all the way to his room.

“Imma take a quick shower, okay?” You nodded. “Make yourself comfortable. Don’t be shy.” He pecked your lips before heading to his bathroom.

You sat on the edge of his bed, analyzing how simple his room seemed to be – just the right amount of things he needed to have, like a wardrobe, a big bed and his gamer computer setup. Being in one’s room, for you, always felt like an act of intimacy itself. 

You were in the same place he changed clothes, he listened to his favorite music, he played his favorite games, he studied… And the same place he touched himself, he had sex with other persons, he had wet dreams…

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, fidgeting your fingers even faster. Your panties got slightly dampened and your body overheated just by thinking of how close you were to Heeseung right now, although you didn’t even had him in your sight.

The sound of the shower turning off indicating he was done showering had your stomach fluttering because he was about to come out of the bathroom, and not a single soul in the earth had you prepared to face his upper body all in display to you – his toned chest were a bit red because of the hot water, being accentuated by a subtle abs, his arms muscles contracting as he dried off his hair.

Heeseung’s boxers peeked through the hem of his sweatshorts, and you swore to God you saw a single droplet of water running all the way down in his beautiful, hot, tanned skin, stopping on his V-line. 

“Are you hungry?” Heeseung’s voice broke you out of your trance, finally making you stare at his face instead of his body. He didn’t deny that your voracious eyes eating him alive send signals directly to his dick, making it twitch inside his clothes. He watched you blink two, three, four times with an unreadable expression, making him frown. “Y/N?”

“Y–yeah?” You snapped out of your imagination of kissing, licking, sucking every part of his body, feeling his skin through your lips. Your mouth watered, but not because of hunger for food. 

“Do you wanna order a delivery or something?” Heeseung cocked his head, shamelessly checking you out as well. If you had the right to devour him with your intense gaze, he had it too, undressing you with his eyes while biting his bottom lip. 

Your skirt was placed gently on your thighs, your tight crop top evidenced your breast and a little part of your belly was being shown, all too tempting to him, eager to see more of your body.

You swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on anything but your desire of having Heeseung fucking you, failling disastrously. “Um, sure. Sounds good,” you managed to say, your voice clearly trembling as your breath got stuck on your airways.

You had to contain a whimper when Heeseung took a step closer, his towel now hanging in his shoulders as he towered you, lifting your head with two fingers holding your chin. “What do you wanna eat, angel?” He questioned, and he was definitely not talking about food anymore at this point.

You felt the heat increase in your stomach, your body shivering with his light, warm touch, acting like it was in withdrawal of whatever he could give you. And you wished so hard for him to offer you everything. 

“I– I don’t know,” you murmured, blinking slowly, parted lips letting out your hitched breath. “What’s your suggestion?” You forced yourself to take a glance at his look, gasping slightly with how he had shifted to an almost breathtaking lascivious one, slightly hooded, serious and attractive just the right amount to make you squirm uncomfortably in your seat.

“I’m afraid my suggestion does not involve food, my love.” Heeseung’s voice dropped a few tones as he bended forward to lean closer, inches away from you, his warm air brushing against your face, his gaze savoring every single one of your reactions.

“What–” You bit your lip. “What does it involve, then?” You asked under breath, a burn sensation taking place on your cheeks as Heeseung’s grin grew. Your pulse increased in the silent, yet full of unspoken desires, room. 

“Well,” he murmured, eyes almost closing as he got closer and closer, lips now touching lightly yours, as he said “I might have to show you. Would you let me?”

Your answer came through actions, your hands quickly took place on his neck and pulled him down to you, tossing the towel to the floor while your mouth chased for his’, desperate for a kiss. It took Heeseung just seconds to react to your intensity, kindly pushing you to lay down on the bed as you tried to keep your lips occupied while moving upwards in a comfortable position; Heeseung crawling on the mattress, never daring to break out the touch.

His fingers dug into your waist while his other arm supported his weight, grinding slowly against your body, pressing his hardened cock on your clothed cunt in order to get any friction he could. A moan escaped your lips, muffled by the kiss, as the heat between your bodies intensified, the thought of causing that reaction in Heeseung making you feel even hotter, more impatient, more desperate for anything he was giving you.

His mouth was working wonders – hot, skilled, passionate as he sucked your tongue, his little groans getting lost in the middle of the kiss. At the same time your fingers brushed his naked chest, his hands infiltrated under your shirt, and your body instantly reacted to the feel of his warm and smooth skin on yours.

Though Heeseung had waited for what felt like ages to have you underneath him like that, he was aware of your insecurities and the fact that it was your first time. Despite how your body responded to his touch, he knew that taking it slow was the right choice, so he made sure you felt safe and cherished as he savored every second. 

Heeseung unhurried his movements, gently parting the kiss to catch his breath and taking the opportunity to enjoy the view – your parted, glistened and swollen-kissed lips, your hooded eyes, hiding your lust behind them, but showing him adoration. He smiled, placing a sweet, tender kiss on your jawline, downing to your neck and collarbone, getting drunk on your scent with his lips trailing kind and lascivious touches on your skin.

You grabbed his hair with your hands, pulling Heeseung even closer to your body – as if it was possible – in a way of distracting the anxiety building up on your core. But then you pushed him away, and he showed you a confused gaze. 

You smiled shyly and moved your hands so you could undress yourself from your shirt and toss it onto the floor, revealing part of your gorgeous body to his eyes, your breasts placed in your black bra attracting his attention.

“You’re beautiful,” Heeseung whispered, filled with sincerity and care, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, the most cherished treasure he ever had, with the perfect mix of desire, eyes dripping the need of having more of you.

His touches were light as he traced his fingers from your waist all the way to your clothed boobs, his eyes never leaving yours, taking in every little reaction, every little sound. He paused to ask tenderly. “Can I take these off?” And when you nodded and helped him to remove your bra, he smiled, not holding back his delighted sigh at the sight of your pretty and hardened nipples.

You felt exposed and your cheeks flushed with a dark ton of red, you had nowhere to hide so you just let Heeseung adore you, until his mouth placed kisses near your breasts, giving you time to assimilate that new experience.

You couldn’t hold back an audible gasp when his lips brushed your sensitive bud, his hot tongue swirling it to suck right after, not too intense, not too light, just the right amount, as if he knew exactly what to do with your body to make you go insane.

“Hee–” you moaned his name when he drifted away to give the proper attention to your other boob while his hand massaged the already a bit swollen one.

The sound of your voice whining Heeseung’s name sent a wave of electricity all over his body, directly to his neglected dick. While he kept going down with his mouth through your belly until he reached the hem of your skirt, he humped slightly on whatever could give him some friction on his sensitive bulge.

He halted his movements when he achieved your inner thighs to look at you with reassuring eyes and a soft smile. “Tell me to stop if you want me to,” his lips kissed the area and you tensened your legs, not used to being touched in there. However, if it felt too good and in no world you wanted Heeseung to stop.

“I trust you, Hee.”

And Heeseung couldn’t ask for a better way of you saying what he needed to hear. He kept placing hot kisses on your thighs and you bent your knee, the position giving him the full view of your ruined panties, a pool of arousal making it stick to your cunt, the drawing of your folds making its personal show right in front of his eyes.

Heeseung’s mouth watered. He remembered every time he imagined being buried between your legs and, God, he didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself down on this one.

“Would you be okay if I–” He gulped, searching for your eyes, which were already glancing at his drunk-looking figure with curiosity. You never saw that expression on Heeseung’s face, and for some reason it made your clit pulse, walls clenching around nothing. “If I eat you out? You can say no if you don’t feel comfortable doing it on your first time, but I would appreciat–”

“I meant it when I said I trust you.”

You cut off his ramble for two reasons: one, because you weren’t prepared to hear his speech that would pretty much make you feel even more embarrassed; two, you were desperate for some relieve, your body literally aching in desire to feel your release, and if his hot mouth and tongue felt that good on your skin, you shivered just by the thought of having them on your sensitive area.

“Thank you,” Heeseung sounded really relieved that you accepted his request. “I’ll remove your skirt, is that okay?” He asked softly and you nodded, hands gripping on the sheets without knowing much more what to do.

Heeseung tossed your clothing piece on the floor, and when he was about to prepare himself to dive into your pussy, you grabbed his hair. He instantly stopped what he was doing, his heart did a flip with the thought of you giving up on your words, although he would obey whatever your decision was. 

But when he looked at you, he noticed your shy smile. “Can you remove your shorts too?”

He let out a little chuckle, “Of course,” and stood up to do what you asked so adorably for him to do.

You enjoyed the view of his dick hard inside his, now, tightened boxer. You wondered if he would fit in you, but you didn’t have time to think much of it as he went back to his position, gaze shifting between your clothed cunt and your anxious eyes.

“Are you okay, princess? Remember, you can always ask me to stop.”

“Yes, Hee. I’m okay,” your voice came out between hitched breaths. “Please, do something, it’s hurting,” you pleaded with a little whine, and that was the green sign for Heeseung to sigh and groan by the sight of you, needy of his mouth on your pussy. 

He placed a delicate kiss right on your clothed clit, simply for you to feel comfortable with your area being touched for the first time. Heeseung heard your little moan before losing himself in his mind, distributing hot touches with his lips all over the area. 

He then removed your last piece of cloth, the view of your pussy in full display made him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, his cock throbbing inside his boxers.

You had your eyes closed, trying to ignore the fact you were very exposed, to focus on the amazing feeling of Heeseung’s hot breath directly where you needed him the most. You moaned when his tongue licked experimentally your folds. 

Heeseung slipped his hands under your legs to hold you in a position he gained a better support and kept you open for him as he worked on your cunt. 

Your sweet taste melted on his mouth as he ate you out willingly, the tip of his nose brushing on your sensitive clit as he skillfully moved his head to stimulate you in as many areas as he could – his tongue teasing to enter in your entrance, the foreign feeling making you squirm in a bit of a discomfort that quickly waved out of your body because of how good your clit being stimulated was making you feel.

It was a mix of sensations you never really felt; you had touched yourself before, but nothing compares to Heeseung’s amazing mouth and tongue licking, sucking and making out with your pussy. You could feel the knot forming on your stomach as you tensed your body. 

“Heeseung,” you moaned a bit loud. “I think I’m close–” 

Heeseung broke out of the trance he got himself into to listen to you, afterall he wanted to take care of you. “I want you to cum on my mouth, is that okay princess?” He asked between little pecks and licks on your folds and clit. You nodded, not knowing exactly if he was seeing you do so.

“Could you look at me, angel?” He questioned, his voice sounding too sweet to the lustful view he was offering you. Hair stuck on his forehead, nose and chin glistened with your arousal. “There you go,” he smirked before diving again into your pussy, his eyes now never leaving your face, even when you rolled your eyes and threw your head back, trying hard to keep with his request.

Your orgasm hit almost instantly, the mix of his devilish looks and how he ate you so passionately worked together for you to achieve your release in his mouth, Heeseung drinking not only your juices, but all of your moans and whines. 

He left the area after pecking two, three, four times, and then trailed kisses through your body until he reached the corner of your mouth, watching you breathing heavily with a small smile adorning your lips. 

Heeseung decided not to kiss you right away, not only giving you time to recompose but also avoiding you to feel the taste of yourself in his tongue. He loved you for a while, gently brushing his lips on your skin, kissing once and a while, until he felt your hands caressing his hair, tenderly. 

“Are you alright?” Heeseung questioned after a while, searching for your eyes.

“Mhm,” you nodded lazily. However, you knew it wasn’t the end, and mostly, you wanted more. 

“Do you want to stop?” He caressed your face, moving away some strands of your hair. You shook your head, mischievously smiling. You could feel his still clothed dick literally twitching on your leg, and although your last orgasm was intense and you got a bit tired, you needed to have him even closer to you.

“You are hard as hell, Hee,” you giggled, catching his eyes darkening again. “And I need to feel you inside of me,” you looked at his lips before pulling him down to kiss you properly.

As earlier, the urgency of the touch grew faster and faster, and Heeseung had to remind himself once more that he needed to go slow.

He parted the kiss just to ask with a serious voice “Are you sure about this?” 

“More than anything in my life, Hee. I want you,” you gently caressed his cheek, smiling when he pecked your lips before getting on his feet to finally remove his last clothing piece, revealing his whole body to you.

You swallowed when his dick jumped out of his boxers, throbbing, covered in precum, all because of you. You whined with the view, propping yourself up on your elbows when he got closer to your face since he had to get a condom in his nightstand. Your hand automatically rushed to grab his length, peeking up at his face at the right time to catch his face contorted in shock and then, pleasure.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, enjoying the warmth of your skin on his neglected, sensitive cock. It was clear you didn’t know exactly what to do, but the movement of going up and down was enough to make Heeseung’s knees weak. He was weak for you, afterall.

Heeseung let you try out whatever crossed your mind and enjoy yourself for a bit, because it meant you were comfortable enough with him to do so, and your endeared and erotic gaze hypnotized him too strongly for him to stop you.

He made sure to moan your name, watching your body reacting to it, trying his best to make you get wet again and make things easier later. He wasn’t faking it, though. Your hands really were doing wonders on his shaft – he watched you positioning yourself to sit on your knees, face with a faint focused frown as you cupped his tip, moving your hand in circles.

Heeseung rolled his eyes, the sensitive area of his dick getting the attention he needed was sending him out of orbit, and you were using just your hands. 

“You– You have to stop,” he said as he gently held your wrist, halting your movements. His closed eyes prevented him from noticing your guilty expression, until he heard your voice.

“Sorry,” you murmured quietly, thinking you have done something wrong.

“No, baby. It’s not– I almost came,” he admitted. You didn’t know simple words could make your body heat that fast, your stomach instantly did a flip with his sincere confession. 

Heeseung’s lips met yours right away, his body leaning forward so you both could go back to the previous position. 

He placed himself in between your open legs, his gaze softening as he watched your anxious face. “I’m going to prepare you,” he explained with a low voice, kissing your neck as his hands went down to find your folds, touching you to collect your arousal and use it to lubricate his finger, “Don’t forget, your word is what guides me.”

Your body fully tensed when he pressed his digit near your entrance, “Relax, my love,” he murmured and kissed your cheek and then your lips. Your heart fluttered with the pet name. “I’ve got you, okay?”

You nodded, closing your eyes tightly, afraid of the pain you were so sure you would feel, however, Heeseung’s light touches on your sensitive area and the kisses he spread over your face got you distracted, almost making you miss when he slid a finger inside you. Your breath got stuck on your throat and he didn’t move, waiting for your body to adjust to the new intruder. 

“I’ve never– I’ve never ever put anything inside me before, so it’s all new,” you admitted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief for verbalizing your discomfort. 

“Yeah? You’re doing great, angel.” Heeseung encouraged, gently pulling his finger out while kissing you. You squirmed, a bit uncomfortable. “Such a good girl for me, mhm?” 

His wording caused you to clench involuntarily around his finger, a reaction which didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. He kept kindly pumping his single finger inside you, teasing to add one more as you whined against his mouth, while he whispered sweet words of encouragement.

“You feel so amazing,” Heeseung said, and something popped into his mind. He decided to test the waters with a dirtier talk, his hot breath tickling your ear. “I can’t wait to feel you around me, so tight and wet,” he kissed your earlobe, his husky voice and words making you whole body shiver, “I promise, Y/N, I’ll make you feel so good,” his teeth nibbled your sensitive spot on your neck and you slightly arched your back, moaning, not even noticing when his second finger entered you.

You were panting a bit, messily whining and squirming, your fingers threaded through his hair, gripping it firmly, forcing him into your neck.

“You’re so tight, I don’t think I’ll last long when I get inside you,” Heeseung sounded muffled, loving the way you squeezed even more around his digits. “Can you feel how my fingers stretch you so well, baby?” His question sounded rhetorical to you, because it was obvious you felt the way he stretched you so amazingly good, your toes curling just by that. 

“Hee, please–” You pleaded not quite sure what you were asking for, but your eyes locked onto his with a desperate need. His fingers worked so perfectly inside you, making you wonder how you could be so close to tearing, yearning for his dick, which you never ever had before. 

Heeseung grinned, eyes dripping with desire and fondness, wandering your whole body as he removed his digits from you, “My baby seems a bit desperate, doesn't she?” He teased, chuckling. You watched as he coated his dick with a condom, jerking it off with the precum he collected before to prepare himself for you, never breaking eye contact. He leaned closer. “Don’t worry, I’m just as desperate as you are, my love,” and with that he positioned his tip in your entrance.

You tensed again, but Heeseung's sharp instincts caught the subtle change in your reaction. To help you relax, he covered one of your nipples with his mouth, warm lips sucking the sensitive area, making you moan. His body pressed into yours distracting you from the pain as well.

“Ah–” you gasped, frowning with a flicker of discomfort as he slid his dick inside you; your hands grabbed his shoulders, squeezing with a certain strength as you tried to get over the burning feeling in your cunt.

Heeseung was on the verge of insanity, his sensitive cock aching with your walls tightening around it, so eager for some more friction. He had to dig self control from the deepest place of his mind in order to keep going. 

“Shh. I’ve got you, my love,” he kissed your wrist, and then your shoulder, and then your neck, and then your cheeks, and finally your lips, while slowly getting himself fully inside of you, moaning as he did so. “You drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, loving how messy you were kissing him, your expression changing little by little from a discomfortable to a pleasant one. 

Heeseung remained still for a moment, making out with you while waiting for your body to adjust to his dick. You gently waved your hips forward with a little groan at some point, a silent plea to get more of what he was offering you, and he got the sign immediately. 

With a tender smile and after pressing his lips in yours once more, Heeseung began to move, thrusting into you with a necessary slowness at first, that became unneeded the second you started to feel only the delight of being full.

His tip rubbed a certain spot in you that made you flutter your eyes shut while rolling them, moaning loud. “You liked that, angel?” He asked, desperate to pound harder and faster onto you, still controlling himself. “Tell me, please,” he looked at your lips parted, his name being the only thing coming out of them.

“Y–yes, Hee. It’s so fucking good– Ah,” you threw your head back in the pillow, his response to your compliment making him thrust deeper. “You feel so good, fuck.”

Needless to say that your praise to Heeseung’s work was enough for him to almost fully lose his inner battle of going easier with you. His head rested beside yours and while his movements grew faster, your voice got louder and louder; your fingernails sinking into the skin of his back, his moan close to your ear making you see stars with the overwhelming feeling. 

“I’m close,” you whispered, feeling the known knot on your stomach growing stronger as Heeseung kept pounding into your g-spot. You opened your eyes to lock eyes with him, who already had positioned himself to do the same – both of you wanting to see each other reaching their respective climax. 

“Come for me, princess,” he demanded with a groan. “Show me how good I’m making you feel.”

The view of Heeseung’s forehead damped in sweat with strand of hairs sticking to it, his parted lips every so often being bit by his teeth while letting out the prettiest sounds and his heavy breaths, his eyes showing your affection, desire, urgency in achieving his own release, and his dirty words, all of it blended together, worked perfectly for you to achieve your orgasm.

A strong wave of desperation and pleasure ran over your body and took you milliseconds to cum all over Heeseung’s dick with a loud moan, your pussy tightening harder around his cock while he drove you through your high at the same time he chased for his own. 

“Fuck,” Heeseung moaned, keeping thrusting faster and faster, a frown of concentration adorning his forehead and then he saw you, pretty face contorted in pleasure, your mouth letting out the hottest moans of his name. You felt his cum filling up the condom inside you the same time he moaned your name, making you hiss while he pumped into you a bit more. Eventually he removed himself from you, flopping into your body, tired. 

You thought you just had hit cloud nine with the amount of joy and excitement running inside you. A sense of realization making you smile brightly. You enjoyed the sound of your respirations working its best to recompose itself and Heeseung’s heartbeats against your chest.

“I have to say,” your voice came out a bit husky as you lovingly caressed Heeseung’s sweaty back. “Now I do accept the food.”

You heard Heeseung chuckle on your neck, before he kissed there and then your lips. “Yeah, me too.”

The morning after your first night together with Heeseung was filled with doubts.

After the sex, you both got cleaned up and ate the said delivery while watching something on the tv.

Obviously Heeseung didn’t let you go back to your dorm, needing to feel your warm embrace as much as possible. So you two slept together on his big bed, cuddling.

But then you woke up earlier than him, and you took your sweet time to appreciate his serene expression, deep in his sleep – his soft breath, his pretty eyelashes, his slightly parted lips. You sighed, a weird feeling eating away you inside, afraid of being left alone after the last night.

What if he said all of that just to have you one time? What if he did all he did just for that moment to happen? What if he didn’t really mean any of his words? What if he didn’t enjoyed it the way you did?

“What’s with the frown?”

You startled with Heeseung’s groggy voice breaking the silence of the room. “Nothing,” you awkwardly smiled and of course Heeseung didn’t buy it.

“Tell me,” he blinked slowly to focus on your pretty face, snuggling his body into yours. “Tell me what’s going on in this pretty head of yours, my love.”

You gulped, heart racing with his new way of calling you. 

Love.

You got lost in your mind for a while before asking “Will you leave me now?” The question came out a bit more stupid than you expected, but at the same time, it was sincere. 

Heeseung propped himself up on his elbow to give you a proper look. He removed the hair from your face with a gentle touch, caressing your cheeks with the same amount of care. His voice sounded low. “No,” he shook his head, eyes full of adoration, endearment, and love. “I’ll not leave you. Actually, I’m even more attached to you, my love,” his, oh, so known smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.”

You hurried to shake your head, taking in every detail of his pretty features. 

“Then I’m staying, and I’ll be taking anything you offer to me,” Heeseung kissed your lips in a different way. Slow, tender, filled with this new emotion – love.

You parted the kiss to look into his sparkly eyes, smiling.

“Then I offer you my everything, Heeseung.”

CUNNILINGUIST ― s.jy (ft. p.sh)

Unfortunately for you, no man has ever given you some good head. Fortunately for you, your best friend is more annoyed by it than you are. It’s just a favor, right? or the one where your best friend jake eats you out as a way to admit his own feelings for you, also, apparently sunghoon existing is an issue.

minors dni! | kindly leave feedback and reblog to give bestie jake conflicting feelings

WORDCOUNT― 16.1 k

PAIRING― jake x afab reader (ft. sunghoon)

CONTENT― a lot of waiting, like to the point it even annoyed me, very fluffy stuff , typical best friends to fuck buddies to “actually, I had feelings this whole time”, jealousy, jake is whiny and needy when he’s horny, reader thinks it’s cute. angst if you’re a baby about it

OTHER CHARACTERS― sunghoon as the mutual friend who bangs reader

NOTE― this was originally written by me on my other blog [@/ncteez], if you’ve read it before, that’s why!

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― BIG DICKED BESTIE, pussy eating (he gets IN THERE), masturbation in the form of dry humping a mattress and then into his hand, finger fucking, cum eating, sunghoon hook up, morning sex, lazy fingering, lazy fuck, dirty talk , unprotected sex, awkward build up,raw grinding, no blowjob in sight sorry lmao, deep penetration, cream pie, kind of cum stuffing but like not entirely intentional, cheesy love stuff 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“What? Again?” Jake says, leaning back against the couch with a groan and a smack to his own forehead.

“Yeah, so basically he went down on me for less than a minute but expected me to, like, go long enough to ‘swallow’ or whatever.” You continue the story in a frustrated huff, shaking your head in self-pity.

Jake groans louder, leaning himself forward again and swiping his drink from your coffee table to take a long and thoughtful sip. 

“How many times is that, then?” He says between sips, glancing around the room as if he’s in deep thought. “I can’t help but think you pick these kinds of guys on purpose at this point.”

You look at him in mock pain, grabbing his drink and taking your own thoughtful sip of it.

“I dunno, they always talk big game during phone sex and stuff. I figure eventually one of them will live up to it.” You drone on, internally marking your recent date’s name off of your call-back list. 

“Be honest with me, have you ever actually gotten good head? Like how would you know if they’re bad if you have nothing good to compare them to?” Jake asks, letting you mindlessly drink his beverage.

It’s not weird to be having these types of conversations with him, if at all, something would seem off if you didn’t. He’s the only person in your life that you’ve ever felt this close to. At this point, you think he’d have to chase you down with a bloody hatchet for things to be awkward. Which is…kind of interesting, you guess.

“Well, I mean,” You think for a moment too long for his liking, but he gives you the space to finish your answer. “It feels good and all but it’s not like I’ve ever gotten off by it.”

“Correction –” Jake starts, blinking right at you. “You’ve never been given the chance to get off on it.” His bright  smile shows through his words, and you’re sure he’s mocking you at this point.

“Yeah, yeah. Yada, yada. I have terrible taste in sexual partners but to be fair, it’s not like the pool is that big to choose from.”

He nods in agreement, humming as if to end the conversation and still watching you sip at his drink.

“Would you be opposed to–” He pauses, making eye contact with you. “Y’know, I could do it for you.”

You pause, nearly dropping his drink out of your hand but thankfully your grip actually tightens on it instead. You swallow as you look at him, searching his face to see if this is some kind of joke.

“Jae-fucking-yun,” You deadpan, sitting his cup back down on your coffee table and leaning toward him, staring him down. “You’d really do that, for me?”

You bat your eyelashes at him, mostly playing it off as a half-joke just to see if he’s fucking with you or not. 

“How else are you gonna experience it?” 

You stare him down harder.

“You say that like you’re some sort of pussy-eating-god,” You narrow your eyes. “Are you?”

He shrugs casually with his little smile, leaning back on your couch and stretching his arms out. One of his hands lands behind your shoulder and you lean into it. 

“I’d let you be the judge of that if you’re up for it.”

Finally, you decide that he’s definitely not joking and you’re definitely gonna do it because like, that’s your best friend. Experiencing your firsts with him comes almost as naturally as walking. You had your first kiss with him, albeit it was a dare. You experienced your first concert with him, your first break up, your first failed exam, and even your first legal drink in a club. What’s so bad about letting him eat you out?

“Right now?” You ask, quirking your brow and tilting your head.

“Now, tomorrow, next week. Whenever.” He runs his hands through his hair as he says it and only now are you starting to really tune into his features that you’ve already found handsome.

Day after day you’ve seen him on this couch and in other states of dress without really thinking twice about how his lips would feel on you (despite that short first kiss). You’ve seen him kissing all up on other people, you’ve seen him in the club with wet lips from alcohol, you’ve seen him all messy and eating spaghetti at his parent’s house– but for some reason, his lips seem different now. His sleepy eyes seem different, his messy hair seems like something that should be tugged on, his fucking jawline– 

“Why’re you staring at me like that?” He looks at you up and down as if he’s judging. “You wanna go right now?”

You nod slowly, letting the traces of any lusty thoughts you’ve had about him in your life come to the front in waves. Then you quickly shake your head.

“Wait, no,” You roll your eyes more at yourself than him. “I haven’t showered since my date, maybe I should, uh…”

“Uh – yeah. Please do.” He grimaces, that same dopey smile coming back after a moment. 

“Fair.” You roll your eyes. “Gonna go shower then.” 

Part of you wonders if like, he’s being totally legit. For all you know, you’ll get out of the shower and he’ll be too busy doing something else, or like, he’ll go home or something. No hurt in seeing though.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

In the bathroom, you can’t help the feeling in your chest at even the thought that this may be about to happen.

Excitement. That’s what you feel. Not because it’s Jake. Well, maybe a little bit because you wanna see what his tongue is all about but more so because you’re about to get some presumably good head.

You shower thoughtfully, cleaning every part of your body and feeling little goosebumps rise and fall with each sensation of your air conditioning snaking its way past your shower doors. When you get out, you lotion your body so you’re all nice and soft and brush your teeth just in case things go a little further. You’re not expecting it to, but y’know, nothing wrong with having fun if it comes to it. 

After all, he’s doing you a favor by going down on you, the least you can do is smell good, be soft, and totally prepared for if he were to suggest more, right? Right. Anyway, you’re all showered up and opt to just let your hair do its own thing as you throw on your shirt and shorts. You ignore the panties at this point, because why not?

When you get back to the living room, Jake isn’t there. Naturally, you check your bedroom and there he is, still his normal self and lounging against your headboard while flipping through videos on his phone. 

“And she’s back,” he comments, reaching a hand out as if to invite you to your own bed. “Change your mind yet?”

“Not even for a second,” you smile as you take a spot in front of him, your entire body facing him as you pull your knees up and lay your chin against your arms. “Have you?”

He seems to fall into a more serious tone now, locking his phone before tossing it to the side and flicking his eyes up to look at you, scanning your legs in the shorts. 

“No,” he chokes back, shocked to see straight between the gap of your shorts and actually lay eyes on the point of this whole situation for the first time. “And you’re not wearing anything under those shorts.”

You watch his face and the way it turns from your best friend into something you’ve seen time and time again from men you’ve gone home with. It’s sexy on him though, for some reason.

“Figured I’d save you the trouble?”

He smiles, now moving himself toward you and reaching a hand behind to cradle your head. 

“Lay back,” he says softly, in a voice you’ve only heard a few times from him, “you could have left the shorts off too though.” He adds with an even softer laugh.

For some reason, it makes you feel shy. His hand guiding you to lay back all while grabbing the pillow from behind him and placing it under your head so that you’re nice and comfortable.  You watch him look at you and honestly, it’s in a way you can’t remember him ever looking at you before. If this is how he looks at other women, you may be a little jealous. 

It feels more intense right now than you thought it would.

“You’re being weird.” You say offhandedly, looking away from him and trying to keep the heat from flushing to your cheeks. 

“You’re letting me eat you out, how am I being weird?” He leans up from you, putting two hands on your knees but still waiting for your eyes to meet his again. “You want me to act like the other dudes? Dip my tongue in then wrap it up?”

You groan, rolling your eyes back to him and analyzing the way his big hands drape over your knees. 

“Okay, fair.” You admit defeat, feeling his warm palms move down the back of your thighs and to your ass. 

“Lift up,” He says, quickly pulling the shorts off of you when you do as he asks. 

“Oh–” He gasps quietly. “Damn.”

He stares directly between your legs, bracing his hands back at your knees and spreading your legs a bit. He angles his head in different ways to really look at you, seemingly enamored with your pussy as a whole. 

“Look who’s staring now.” You chuckle, instinctively hiding your face from him despite knowing he isn’t looking up at you.

“Yeah– I am,” he admits, now adjusting himself on the bed to lay down, his head easily slotting between your legs as he rests his chin on your lower belly and looks up at you. “You can pull my hair or do whatever, I’m just gonna…like, start I guess. Tell me if it’s something you don’t like.”

As normal as this isn’t, he’s speaking similar to how the two of you had taken on projects before. He typically takes the lead but offers you control more often than not. All you can do is nod at him, trying to comprehend that it’s your best friend’s head between your legs right now.

When he pulls his head back up with one last nod of confirmation, the first thing you feel is his fingers slipping up your folds, the other braced on your thigh and holding your legs open. You release a short sigh of relief at the feeling and he instantly smirks at it. 

“I haven’t even started yet,” He whispers, glancing up at you before fixing his eyes back on the expanse of your pussy. He uses his ring and pointer finger to spread your lips open, and the middle finger to rub against your hole only for a brief moment before he licks his lips and releases his own sigh of relief. “God, Sunghoon would be so jealous right now.”

You look down at him, wanting to ask him what the fuck he’s talking about and why he’d bring up Sunghoon right now, but you find yourself staring at him instead. Breath caught in your throat with the way his eyes meet yours before letting his tongue hang from his mouth as if presenting it to you in a cheeky way.

He’s so fast with it too, with the way he replaces his middle finger with his tensed tongue, forcing you to swallow your words and hold your breath even more. You can feel him lick and nibble against each of your lips before moving inward, flattening his tongue to lick one long, languid, and wet stripe up until meeting your clit. 

He wraps his lips around it, sucking once, hard, before releasing it and pulling back to look at you.

“This okay?”

Goddamn him for making you have to talk right now. You’re still trying to comprehend the fact that he said Sunghoon, fucking Sunghoon of all people would be jealous that he’s doing this right now. That’s definitely a question for later, because yeah, it’s fucking okay. 

More than okay. 

You nod to him, throwing your arm over your eyes and instinctively bucking your hips up towards his hovering mouth. 

“Oh, that was hot,” He groans out his compliment, watching the way you hide your face before he pulls his eyes back down and uses his fingers to spread your pussy open wider, enough to see your hole pulsate when he dips down to blow against it, “I can see how wet you’re getting, Is it because of me or is it just because someone is playing with your pussy?”

You half groan half moan at that, mostly because hearing these words from him is something that feels entirely too sexual. As if he hasn’t already tasted you, as if you’re not spread out by his fingers right now. You ignore his words, yet, your brain holds onto them with white knuckles and your hips buck toward him again.

“Not a talker, got it.” He notes, watching your hips chase his breath. 

He watches for much longer than you’d like for him to, and you’re about to lift up and accuse him of being just like the other guys but he shuts your thoughts off so fucking fast when you feel his lips on you again. 

His tongue explores every part of you, licking and sucking against areas you didn’t even know would feel good until his mouth lands against your clit again. This time, you can’t help it, you grind up and he hums at it as he braces your legs open just enough to skew his head and move his tongue back down. 

He’s slurping. Lost in the moment as he does it. Tasting you in full and getting a warm, pleasant feeling each time your legs try to close and your hips buck up for more. He…can’t believe this is finally happening. Fucking finally.

Unsure if you’d let him, he tries anyway. He stiffens his tongue, circling your hole before pressing just a bit, giving you just enough pressure that you feel frustrated. So frustrated that you’re the one who ends up finishing his attempt at something new. You reach down and lace your fingers in his hair, and let out a soft, needy little moan for him. 

That sound forces one from his chest too, he can’t help it, really. With the way you’re grabbing his hair and holding his head in place, pressing yourself against his mouth so much harder than before. Ah, he really, really loves doing this for you. 

To think any man would already be done? To think anyone could like, not wanna eat you out? Insanity. Stupid, stupid fucking men.

He can taste how wet you are now, truly taste it as he stretches your hole as much as he can with his tongue and another groan of his own. It’s probably embarrassing, truly, but he doesn’t care. 

Both of you are moaning at this point as you hold his head in place and grind your hips harder than you think you are. He loves it, you love it. So much that you really are barely comprehending that your best friend could do this the whole time?! And never told you until now?!

Jake is just as drunk on the moment as you are though. Totally lost in the scent and taste of you as he continues to lap away, constantly trying to prove that you can and will get off from his mouth alone. And honestly? It’s at the point that he figures he can use his fingers now too considering you let him spread you open with his tongue. What’s a little more gonna hurt, anyway?

The taste of you alone has him in heaven, cursing any man who didn’t take advantage of your pussy against their mouth. He can easily slip a finger into a hole this wet and needy, gasping in awe before glancing up at you. 

God, the way you immediately ride his finger, no huff or sound of irritation that he’s pulled his tongue back now. Your face. Fuck. 

He watches as you shamelessly chase the small amount of pleasure he can offer in terms of just head and fingering. He can imagine how hot you’d be without that shirt on, with your legs around his hips, with your mouth wrapped around him. You look blissed out, soaking his finger and keeping your hand in his hair, mindlessly grabbing and scratching at him. 

Making quick work, he goes back for your clit, circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves and noticing how you ride his finger harder. He can’t help but smirk against you when you do it either. 

The movement of your hips constantly humping against him is enough, and he can’t help but groan at the sound of your slick squelching out of you and warming his chin, he can’t fucking help but grind his own hips forward when you act like this. His cock is so painfully hard for you right now, at the taste of you, that all he can do is chase the mattress beneath him. Tensing his muscles and moaning against your clit shamelessly at the jolts of pleasure he gets from it. 

He slips another finger in with ease, feeling how much wetter you’ve gotten in the way the slide is filthy and audible. You groan out at that too, feeling his tongue flick relentlessly against your clit and only now moving your free hand from your face and trailing to your stomach. 

You can’t even talk, so you don’t. You lift your shirt up until you can at least rub against your nipples, just to heighten the pleasure your best friend is so graciously giving you.

His eyes roll back when you do that, only to fall back on you and get a frustrated grunt from him. He’s a bit annoyed that the shirt is still covering you despite your hand under it, fondling yourself. He’s thinking with his cock, so fucking aroused that he doesn’t think twice when he aggressively lifts your shirt up to your chin and watches the way your fingers poke and prod at yourself.

He inhales a sharp breath at the image, and his hips fuck harder against the mattress at that. His fingers speed up and now he’s focused. You feel him all over you from the waist down, his tongue flicking and lips sucking against your swollen clit, his fingers relentlessly fucking into you, your fingers heightening those sensations by playing with your own tits– then, oh, then you notice. 

Jake, you’re best fucking friend, is so goddamn horny that he’s dry humping against your bed and whining out moans against your clit. Probably to avoid asking for more, to avoid making you feel obligated to get him off too, to avoid anything you may not want or consent to. And that’s why he’s your best friend.

It doesn’t take long after that, your hips come to a stop as you watch him get himself off all while getting you off, and you find your orgasm bubbling up much faster than if you’d have imagined solely because of the image in front of you.

“Jake, you’re fucking whining.” You groan almost as needy as he does, rolling your hips up in a stutter. 

He was almost gonna stop, because yeah, he is whining. Gasping for air but only tasting you, only swallowing up the moans you give to him, only inhaling the dull scent of the fruity soap you used when you showered. But, you moan louder after you say that. You like it. You like seeing him act so desperate. So he continues, shamefully reaching one of his hands between himself and the bed and quickly shoving it down his pants, circling around his cock and continuing to fuck into it. 

If he thinks hard enough, you’re what he’s fucking right now, and technically, he is. With his fingers and mouth at least. When your hips stutter more, he fucks harder against his hand and holds his fingers inside of you as deep as he can get them. There, he sucks against your clit until you’re the one whining louder. 

You’re shocked at how quickly you’re getting off. Releasing a splash against him in a breathy, choked up sob. Nearly squeezing his head between your thighs to the point he almost misses the way you breathe out strings of praises toward him. But he hears them. 

He definitely heard you say that he looks sexy with your hand in his hair, and god, did he ride off of the fact that you encouraged him to get off with you. Regardless of if you knew if he could or not, regardless of if you knew his hand was providing just enough pleasure for him to do just that. 

There, as your orgasm subsides with his tongue still flicking your sensitive clit, you watch him writhe his hips against your mattress, his eyes slammed shut, and his breath coming out in pornographic moans. So this is what Jake looks like when he cums. It’s desperate, but somehow, it feels passionate too.

You’re all dazed after the fact, pussy pulsing and tingling from the loss of his lips and fingers once he pulls back and lays against your bed with a lazy smile. His pants are uncomfortable, but he doesn’t mind as he wipes his hand across his shirt and watches the way you catch your breath. 

“So,” He tries to say, clearing his throat. “I– um– hope that’s what you needed?”

You’re shy. You’re never fucking shy, especially towards Jake, but god. 

“Um, yeah,” you sigh out, lifting from the bed and looking back at him. Part of you wondering if that’s what it’s supposed to be like when someone gives you good head, or if that’s just…what it’s like when Jake gives head.

For some reason, you genuinely don’t think another man would ever eat you out to that level again. There’s no way, based on experience. 

“It was definitely what I needed.” 

He nods in a shy way, reminding himself that his pants are fucking nasty right now. So, he goes to stand up and extends a hand out to you. 

“Let’s go clean up.” 

You shake your head, not at all wanting to move from this bed. He nods again, pulling your shirt back down for you and leaning to look at you. 

“I’m gonna bring you something to clean up with, and I’m gonna shower.”

You smile at him, a bit dazed as you make yourself comfortable on your messy sheets as you think hard about the fact that this dopey motherfucker really never told you how good he was at this? Rude.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake looks all proud of himself when he comes back to your room and cuddles into bed with you much like he always has. 

“I didn’t expect to sleep over, I have work in the morning.” He whispers in a rasp against your back, curling around you like the perfect big spoon. 

You’re quick to turn on his work alarm on your phone, like you always do when he crashes during weeknights. Because, what best friend doesn’t have alarms set for each other anyway?

After a few more long moments of silence, you try to talk. Mostly because your brain is swimming with the fact that, like, you’re not sure but it’s just– wow. 

“Hey, um–”

“Hmm?” He hums out in a sleep-heavy voice.

“Did you actually enjoy doing that?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” His sudden louder voice causes you to jump, but you relax back into his gasp. 

“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”

“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” He responds with mock-confidence, shifting a bit and hugging you closer to him, as if to hide the way he’s trying to make this sound like a joke. For his own comfort, really.

You smile.

“And don’t tell other dudes my secrets.” He adds.

“I won't.”

Jake has his own smile from behind you, wondering if he really is just that good at eating pussy. The truth is, he’s done it a handful of times but he was just really really interested in doing it for you. For…reasons.

・・・・・・THIS WAS ORIGINALLY TWO PARTS, NOW IT’S ONE. YOU’RE WELCOME・・・・・・

“Hey, um,”

“Hmm?” Jake hummed out in a sleep-heavy voice.

“Did you actually enjoy doing that for me?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I literally came in my pants.” He responded in a sudden, louder voice. 

“Oh,” You think hard. “Is this gonna change stuff between us?”

“Probably, but not in like, a bad way. More like in the can-i-eat-you-out-all-the-time-way.” 

You remember the conversation that happened after he went down on you like it was yesterday, and he’s a goddamn liar. Nothing changed in your friendship with him, and he certainly doesn’t ask to eat you out all the time either. If anything, you’ve felt disappointed time and time again with the aftermath of that night.

It’s weighing on you in a strange way. At first, the weeks following the first and apparently, only time Jake went down on you, you almost expected him to ask for a repeat. You wanted to return the favor. You wanted him to ask but he never did. Even when he came over to hang out, even when you tried to lay down hints.

Nothing changed.

In fact, he doesn’t even talk about it. He doesn’t look at you as if he’s tasted you, and he doesn’t act like he came in his palm against your bed, right in front of you. He’s just…Jake. Sweet, caring, aloof, Jake. And you’re just you. Except you want to be someone else at this point. Someone that he does feel differently around after that.

Maybe you weren’t a memorable event for him when it comes to intimacy. Maybe he prefers to pretend it never happened? Maybe he was really just doing you a favor and intending for it to never go past the initial act. Even with his sweet words after the fact. Maybe, that was just to reassure you so it wouldn’t be awkward. 

You’re a version of you who wants to know what the fuck he’s thinking about. Did it taste bad? Did he get cold feet about it all? Arguably, if things did get weird after what happened, you’d feel more comfortable than you do with the situation as it stands. 

It is weird now, but only because it’s not weird for him. 

Even now, as you lay across the same bed where he had his head nestled between your legs, you can almost feel the tingle of what it felt like. The way his hair tickled your thighs, and the way his fingers laid against the flesh of your legs. The sun is beaming in through your windows and it still doesn’t feel as warm as it did when he cuddled against you that night. It’s been weeks and your heart is sick for him by this point. Sick with confusion, angst, lust, maybe even love if you think hard enough. 

You miss him a lot more than before as you throw your hand up to your face in a gentle slap as if to knock yourself out of it. This is insane. Every day you wake up feeling this way, thinking of him, and where you stand with him. It wasn’t like this at first, you truly expected him to come back for more and now you’re just sitting here with a loop of reasons as to why he never did. 

Insane. You’ve gotten head from so many people and didn’t think twice about them the next day, Jake is different though. You knew he would be too.

Why is Jake any different? Why do you miss him so badly right now? Why couldn’t he pick up on it either? Even worse, why do you feel like doing that with him was a mistake?

He’s with his parents for the weekend, and you’re here still thinking about shit that should have been released with your orgasm. 

You haven’t gone on any dates since that day, you haven’t met up with any one other than him to hang out, and at this point you’re starting to feel a little pathetic for falling in so deep. It’s entirely one sided, he makes that very clear.

So, naturally, you hop up with the confidence of a damn lion and decide that today, it ends. You will stop making it weird between the two of you, if he has even noticed anyway. You’re gonna get dressed, look hot as fuck, and sit on your couch swiping left and right until you find a hot piece of man that’s willing to take you out tonight.

That’s when something dawns on you. You remember Jake briefly mentioning Sunghoon to you, which seemed more like an implication if anything at the time. 

Why would Sunghoon be jealous of what happened? You can admit to being attracted to him but it’s not like the two of you hang out often or anything, and it’s also kind of a rule for yourself that you don’t fuck within the friendgroup. Jake was an exception, solely because that’s your best friend. Or, well, was your best friend. 

Now though? Who cares about these little rules you create for yourself? You need a confidence boost. You need your mind to be taken off of this little spiral you keep falling into. Most of all, you need to be proven wrong that you can still get off without it being him. 

So, texting Sunghoon? Easy. 

Thankfully, Sunghoon texting you back at lightning speed seemed even easier for him. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Well, Sunghoon sure did a great job at getting your mind off of Jake for the past couple of hours. 

You lay here in his bed, feeling your body tingle from the sensation of just how well he lived up to the promise of a good time. For hours he touched you, licked against you, fucked you. And yeah, you did fucking enjoy it. 

But why now? Why did you only just decide to give Sunghoon a shot? Why are you lying in his bed, with his heavy arms thrown across you as he snores gently behind you, feeling the need to cry? Why do you wish it was Jake, your best friend who seemed so eager to please and then suddenly leaped ten feet back as if he never suggested it in the first place? 

Your brain is confused despite your body relaxing itself from the state of bliss you were able to experience. You really did enjoy this time with Sunghoon and think that maybe, if you continue to make late night visits to him, the need for your best friend will weaken in time. 

God, if only Jake would just talk about it.

And you fall asleep thinking about that. About how you’ve let your feelings weaken you to the point that it’s genuinely hard to enjoy being pleasured by someone who actually has the capability. 

And, well, you wake up much the same, except Sunghoon was quite quick with his fingers upon waking up himself. Showing you that even if the person you want doesn’t have a thing to do with you, he sure does. 

“Good morning,” He rasps in a sleepy voice, fingers already traveling down your stomach as he hugs up against you from behind. “Glad you finally came through for me.” 

You quirk a brow. Right, Jake is the whole reason you're here. If not for mentioning him, at least.

“I finally came through?” You chuckle, your body jolting at the ticklish sensation of his lips brushing the back of your neck. “You knew I was single, why didn’t you call me?” 

You feel a harsher kiss against your neck, and his fingers only travel further down now. 

“Bro code.” He whispers, dipping his fingers between your still naked thighs. “I’m not overstepping if you’re the one asking for it.” He slides his fingers gently back and forth between your legs, trying to work you up. “And you did.” 

You think hard about that. Bro code, overstepping limits, not coming onto someone unless they do first solely because someone must have asked him not to. And you’d think even harder about who that someone might be, but instead your brain is quickly thrown into the morning sex routine Sunghoon must offer to all of his lovers. 

You enjoy it too, the small moments of bliss where you’re not in your head about what you could have possibly done wrong with Jake for you to end up feeling this way. It’s a brief moment of numbness though, feeling his fingers pleasure you gently can only do so much to quiet your thoughts. 

“Are you saying one of your friends had dibs on me or something?” You laugh in a half-joke, arching your back to rub your ass up and against the bigger and warmer man behind you. 

“You could say that, I’m assuming he missed his chance though–” Sunghoon whispers snidely, now satisfied with how you already drip for him and sliding one of his fingers into you. His other hand, being used to hike one of your legs up and against his hip to open you up for him. “You wouldn’t be here doing this if he didn’t.” 

You clench around his finger unintentionally, pretending you don’t know who you’re both referring to. Mostly because there’s no way in hell it’s your best friend, seeing as how he’s acting like you don’t exist outside of platonic friendship with him. Then again, who else could it be? Jay? Heeseung? Fucking Jungwon? As fucking if. 

“I guess he did miss his chance–” You breathe, now allowing yourself to give into the lazy and slow pleasure being offered. “Deeper.” 

And he listens. Sunghoon goes deeper and deeper with one finger, then two, then three, up until you slip his fingers out of you and plead through your body to have more. Deeper still, holding you from behind, plunging in as if to intentionally fuck the confusion out of you. As if to, maybe, prove that Jake isn’t the only man who can please you now. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

When you eventually find yourself walking through your front door, you do feel better. Sunghoon did have some type of capability to make you feel as desired as Jake did. After all, it’s not often that you sleep over with a man, better yet get fucked again as soon as you wake up with him. 

Even so, you know Jake will be back tomorrow, wanting to hang out yet again as if nothing happened. Thankfully, with Sunghoon around, maybe you can pretend alongside him. Maybe even forget it ever happened. 

You can argue that for the first time, you’re even a bit annoyed when you see his name pop up in your notifications with a call as if you’re not right in the middle of texting Sunghoon. It’s not that you were trying to go back over to his house or anything, but man, he sure is trying to get you to come back for a third round already. 

Maybe you just like when people are eager to please you, or maybe you don’t like to feel as if you’re the one chasing another person. Still, you answer Jake, seemingly releasing all of this resentment you’ve built up for him in an instant. 

“What?” You huff into the phone, feeling it vibrate with another text from Sunghoon and wanting nothing more than to see what his fourth reason would be for you to come over not even two hours after you left. 

“What?” Jake responds in confusion  to you. “What do you mean ‘what’?” 

“I mean what do you want? I’m busy.” You huff again with a roll of your eyes, flopping back on your bed. 

“Oh god, something happened.” Jake groans, though he was simply calling you because he missed your voice. “What’s wrong?” 

“No, not really. Was just trying to figure out what I’m doing tonight when you rudely interrupted me.” 

Something is off, Jake can feel it. Your voice has a bite to it, one that feels like you’re mad at him. Not to mention, he knows what you mean when you say you’re trying to find something to do for the night. He tries to reserve his feelings though, despite wanting that something to be him. 

“Oh, I know there’s an event at one of the clubs downtown tonight I think. Jay mentioned it–” He pauses briefly to hear another annoyed breath from you. “You’re not gonna go with him?” 

“Nah,” You wave off dismissively. “I think I’m just gonna go hang out with Sunghoon.” 

You don’t notice at all the brief and panicked silence for a solid second and a half before Jake reacts.

“Wait, what?” He says quickly after managing to process those words, trying not to sound as panicked as he knows he feels. “Sunghoon? Why?!” 

God, he knew he shouldn’t have said anything about Sunghoon that day, but his confidence was overflowing and he couldn’t help but boast at the time. It’s come back to shoot him in the dick, knowing full well that Sunghoon has been trying to get you into bed since he fucking met you. Hearing you ask for him in this context is something that makes his blood run cold. 

“Relax, I was with him last night. It’s kind of like, maybe gonna be a normal thing now.” 

You refuse to pick up on Jake’s tone. He had all the time in the world to make you feel something other than confusion, and this is just fucking petty at this point. He clearly doesn’t want to have anything with you, so why in the hell should you just sit around hoping? Waiting? 

“Sunghoon? You want to fuck Sunghoon?” He asks in a lower tone, trying to convince himself that he has to be mishearing you. You can hear him shuffle around and close a door behind him, showing that he doesn’t want his parents to hear him. But the frustration showing blatantly in his voice is somehow…satisfying. 

“I already did. I figured he would show me a good time since no one else can, and he did.” You shrug with slight disobedience. Resentment bubbling up in your gut to the extent that you almost want to grill him for having any type of opinion about it. 

Jake hangs on those words for a second. “Since no one else can.” 

He really thought he was the one who could do it for you. 

“Yeah, but–”  Jake starts, feeling like a child almost in the way he protests despite not being in a position to have a say in who you sleep with. “You know what? Nevermind. Do what you want.” He adds blankly, hanging up before you can get another word in. 

Honestly, he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong because you acted like he was fully capable of doing everything right. Hanging out with him consistently after the fact, not making it weird, flirting with him, asking him to sleep over. 

He wasn’t sure if he should ask you for more or if he should ask you to be his girlfriend first. The whole reason he’s with his parents right now is because he felt the need to run home to his Mom for girl advice. Embarrassing? Yes, but he really wanted to do things right. He cares about you. 

He needed just one single weekend away, and the second he’s gone you’re out fucking other dudes? Fucking Sunghoon? 

By now, that asshole is probably feeling like he’s on top of the world for getting to touch you. Not even he has done what Sunghoon managed to do with you by now and he can’t help but feel pissed about it. 

Whether you’re his or not, Sunghoon never should have been a fucking option. 

So, he calls you right back, pushing back the feeling of how pathetic it seems considering he’s the one who hung up on you. Then, when you don’t pick up, he immediately feels his stomach drop. 

You must be talking to Sunghoon, you must be setting up a time and place to meet with him. And Jake has heard that Sunghoon knows how to fuck. Other people have said he’s good in bed. Surely, if you’ve already been with him once and you’re still wanting to go back to him, those other people weren’t lying. 

To Jake, it feels like he’s losing you to his own friend with each passing second, and it’s weighing so heavy that spamming your phone with calls to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing right now feels like the right thing to do. In fact, it feels like it is the best thing in the world to do. 

He calls again. You don’t answer.

Again.

“What?!” You answer, annoyed. 

“Why would you even want Sunghoon?! Is he really that much better than I am?” He doesn’t think before he says it, because if he did, he wouldn’t have been able to say it at all. 

It’s his turn to experience that awkward silence because in all fairness, you don’t know how to respond to that. You feel annoyed now, you feel confused and quite frankly, blind sided. Since when did he care? 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You came onto me once and then never followed up.” You dead-pan at yourself in the mirror across your bedroom, speaking into the phone with a voice that seems scolding. “I don’t see why you’re mad that I’m hanging out with Sunghoon. We aren’t dating, Jake.”

“Since when? Who said I didn’t want to do it again?” Jake argues back in a whispered voice, showing you that he still can’t be as loud as he’d like to be. He chooses to ignore that last sentence though, pretending as if it doesn’t strike him in the center of the heart. 

“Nobody! That’s the thing, you haven’t said anything about it. Not that you want to, not that you don’t. You’re just being you and it’s driving me up a fucking wall.”

Pause.

“You’re mad because I didn’t make it weird?” It’s like his brain clicks. 

“Pretending it didn’t happen somehow makes it worse.” You lower your voice, ignoring the string of texts Sunghoon is sending you and listening closely to what Jake might say next. Your heart is racing through this hushed argument, and it feels good to admit that you kept thinking about it, even if he hasn’t.

“I wasn’t pretending that it didn’t happen,” He pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “I just wasn't sure what the next step was.”

You’re fucking appalled.

“Jake, I have been flirting with you since it happened because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’re the one who didn’t make any moves, so I figured you wanted it to end there.” You sigh loudly, but somehow feel a bit lighter. “Do you have any idea how that fucked with my confidence?”

Jake sighs along with you on the other end of the line. 

“That’s why I was annoyed earlier, and that’s why I’m going to Sunghoon’s tonight.”

“What?” Jake’s voice raises a bit higher. “Still?!” 

It’s the fact that he’s trying to explain himself. Had he known that you were confused by his lack of, um, touching you, he would have done it every day since it happened! Yet, you’re still considering Sunghoon an option? Knife to the heart, honestly. 

Or maybe he’s not being clear enough with you about this. 

You, on the other hand, nod your head as you hum a confirmation to him, smiling and wondering if this conversation will turn into an event that would, perhaps, have you cancel the hook-up with Sunghoon.

“Why? Are you jealous?” You pry.

“You really called him, and now I’m just sitting here in my old room trying to find a way to get to you before he does….again.” An inhale. “ Yes! I’m fucking jealous!” 

You remain silent, trying to pretend that your pettiness isn’t solely to confirm what he seems to be implying to you. Then, an unintentional chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Why are you laughing?!” His voice is raised again, and he doesn’t seem to stop spilling what he needs to say. “I wanted to do that for you for years and you somehow still didn’t know?” He pauses. “I always made it weird between us, what? You thought I treated all of my friends like that?”

You just listen, feeling your heart beat in time with each word he speaks. Strings of sentences like, “I’m going to kick his ass.” and “You thought I’d just eat you out as a friend?! You’re insane.” and “I would have come home last night if you wanted to feel good so badly, why did you have to go see him, of all people?” 

The confirmation of Jake being the friend who forbade Sunghoon from making a move on you is right there, clear as day. 

“Ah, so the Jake I know isn’t the Jake everyone else knows?” You respond, trying to force the tingling feeling in your gut to calm itself. Hearing him be so blatant to you has your heart doing flips, and it’s not an easy task to make it stop.

“Of-fucking-course not!” He rolls his eyes, you can definitely tell. “You had me wrapped around your pinky from day one.”

“And you really thought that, with the way you seemed so uninterested–” You pause, processing his words. “I would have asked you to come home from your parent’s house to get me off? For what? Funsies? You thought I'd be brave enough or selfish enough to ask such a thing?” 

Jake sighs deeply, seemingly fed up with the situation. 

“It wouldn’t be because you are selfish.” He breathes out, almost angrily. “And for the last time, I’m not uninterested. I was just trying to do things right. I don’t just want to fuck you, you know.” 

“And you didn’t think to tell me until weeks after you ate me out?” You smile harder, trying to contain the heat flushing over your cheeks. “Until after I thought I had a pH imbalance and maybe you were just grossed out by me?!” 

“I’m genuinely shocked you didn’t know already. Made me think you weren’t interested enough to like–” He pauses, not wanting to be too telling. “I guess waiting and being polite isn’t really your style. I should have known that though.”

You let him continue, because you can tell he’s simply taking breaths and small pauses to figure out how to express his thoughts to you. 

“You can’t tell me that over the years, you never once noticed how often I stared at you.” He lowers his voice again, softening it to an extent that you actually feel the butterflies fly from your belly to your chest. 

”The fact that I jumped in head first and offered to do that for you? I didn’t think I had to tell you at this point…”He breathes out a chuckle through the line this time. “And for the record, I couldn’t get enough of it. I was just trying to like– I don’t know.”

You listen to him breathe deeply, again. 

“I didn’t want you to think I was in it just for the sex, I guess.”

There. There it is. You’re nearly kicking your feet, feeling him confirm feelings and erase any hint of doubt within you. Despite never truly noticing that he treats you differently compared to his other friends, despite never thinking too hard about the way he looks at you. 

“You acted like it wasn’t a big deal, Jake. I’m not joking. If that’s how you act when you like someone, you shouldn’t blame me for not noticing.”

“I literally tongue fucked you.” He dead-pans. “Friends don’t just do that.”

“I thought we were friends who could do that.” You argue. “But I guess you’re not quite looking to just remain friends, are you?” 

“No,” Jake sighs. “Mom told me I needed to take you out on some extravagant date and express my undying love for you with a handful of red roses, but I guess this is just how it’s gonna be. After all, this is you.” 

“And this is you.” You confirm. 

“I was going to come home tomorrow and try to lie our way to the restaurant, which I still can, if you want. You kind of fucked up my plan though.” 

You pause at his words, suddenly feeling like shit for not realizing sooner. In your defense though, if he really did like you from day one, you didn’t exactly have a chance to see how he would have acted without feelings. The Jake you know is your best friend, and someone you trusted with everything, you thought he treated everyone as well as he treated you. That’s why, when he didn’t change, you couldn’t read him anymore. 

Then again, all of this could have been fucking avoided if he had just voiced it to you. 

“Romance is dead and it’s your fault.” Jake tries to joke, his soft tone somehow coming out even softer as he waits for some type of response from you. 

“So, are we done fighting?” You ask meekly, tapping your finger against your phone and looking up at the ceiling with a smile that by now, you can’t escape. “Since you’ve just expressed your undying love for me and I very much wouldn’t mind going on a date with you so we can work this out face to face?” 

“Are you still going to fuck Sunghoon?” 

You laugh. 

“Oh yeah, for sure–” To his silence, you immediately take it back. “Oh my god, relax. It’s a joke.” 

“Get better jokes, asshole.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“What the fuck?” Jake deadpans into the phone, his heart beating far too fast for his health, but vibing with it anyway because by tomorrow night, he’ll be next to you again. “You seriously had sex with her?!” 

“Hey, she’s the one who called me.” Sunghoon shrugs as he listens. “To be fair, Jake, I did tell her that someone else had dibs on her.”

Jake slaps his forehead and rolls his eyes. 

“You’re such a dick– I told you at least three hundred times that I like her! I don’t have dibs.” He gripes, trying to pretend that he’s not imagining Sunghoon with you, the person he wants the most. 

“Damn right you don’t, because she seemed to have a great t–” 

“Sunghoon, stop. I don’t want to know what happened, but like, stop texting her.” 

Sunghoon’s brow raises in curiosity. 

“Ah, did you finally make a move?”

If there’s anything Jake knows Sunghoon won’t do, it’s go for a woman that is actually unavailable. He has his fun, and he’s not one to turn anyone down if he has an interest in them, bro code be damned. And yeah, he’s still a little pissed at him for hooking up with you…but, it is true, Jake made you feel like he wasn’t even an option in his attempts to be a gentleman. 

Still, boundaries need to be set now. Real boundaries.

“I did, and I would really appreciate it if you back off. I’m trying to make something out of this, you know?”

Sunghoon lightens up, sighing at his loss of a would be fuck-buddy that seemed more promising than some he’s had in the past. 

“Jesus, you’re serious about her aren’t you?” He smirks as he speaks, feeling proud of Jake for finally stepping up for himself. “I mean, I can totally see why. Please excuse me as I mourn that sweet, sweet, pu-” 

“Sunghoon.” Jake warns. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Relax, jesus.” Sunghoon plays it cool, though he actually is mourning it a little bit. “Good on you though. I’ll back off, don’t worry.” 

Jake rolls his eyes yet again, his love-hate relationship with Sunghoon becoming more fond than ever by this point. Only because the confidence he had in himself before all of this wasn’t entirely where it needed to be. It’s true that he wasn’t exactly a pussy eating god before, nor could he even say he’s amazing at sex but, when it comes to you, he can’t help but be excited. He wants to do it all, be it all for you. 

Never in his life has he eaten pussy like that, and never in your life have you felt a mouth so eager to please between your legs. 

Sunghoon could have been something, but he couldn’t have been Jake, ever. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The day couldn’t go by any slower than it already has. 

Jake comes home tonight, and by home, you mean to your apartment where he doesn’t live. 

Your mind goes in loops on what could possibly happen. Scenarios of him getting cold feet and ignoring that any of this happened at all again. Scenes of him unlocking your door, closing in on you, and kissing you before you can even say “hello”. Images of his hands on you, his mouth on you, what it would feel like if he were to…well, oh.

You snap yourself out of it, every bad scenario in your head gets replaced with one where you’ve got Jake working himself on and inside of you. It’s making you feel hot, insane, and entirely too horny for the proposed date night full of talking that needs to be had first. 

Then you freeze, your hand on the handle of your mug as you wonder a bit too hard. 

What if he doesn’t show up at all? 

You did run off the second he left the city and fuck one of your mutual friends. Arguably, you were equally as bad at communicating with him as he was to you during the past few weeks. Sure, you flirted, but was that even enough when he literally put his tongue inside of you “as a friend”? 

God, he’d have every right to not show up. To move on, to never speak to you again. 

You’ve been so stupid. Both of you have, stumbling together but apart into something neither of you could even begin to navigate. For you? Sex is easy. Feelings though? That’s where it gets complicated. Yet, still, you find yourself more willing than ever to let these feelings roam free if he accepts them at face value. 

Solely because of how shitty it felt when you were trying to pretend that Jake was nothing but a one time thing for his sake. 

And when the time comes, after hours of brooding, getting worked up, and feeling insane, you’re looking like a mess when he knocks on your door. So much for looking good for him. You’re an absolute fucking wreck when you open that door and dead-pan stare at him and his bags. 

“Hi,” He smiles, not quite making eye contact because he really is kind of embarrassed by all of this. “I’m here.” 

You step back from the door, eyes remaining on him. 

“You’re here.” You say quietly, watching him step into your apartment and drop his bags. 

You feel his breath before you hear his voice. So much closer than just moments before, right up against your ear, and his arms wrapping tightly around you. 

“Felt like I was gone for too long–” He whines slightly against you, breathing in a breath and taking in your scent. “Didn’t know I could miss you like that.” 

You fucking melt. Out of all of those scenarios and fantasies in your head, this wasn’t one of them. Which goes to show that Jake is the one person in this world who can surprise you time and time again. You’ve hugged him like this hundreds of times, but this one, oh this one. He feels so close after feeling so fucking far away.

“You were gone for two days,” You smile, nuzzling against him and gripping his waist in your own hug. 

“Two days too long, though.” You feel him smile, that little upturn of his lips pushing his cheek up and against you as he chuckles and pulls back.  “We don’t have a lot of time, but we can still make it to the restaurant if you still want to go? I can shower when we get back.”

You pull back, offering him a small nod and feeling a bit let down. You wanted more, especially after that hug. The fact that he can contain himself right now feels isolating. Are you the only one who has a vibrating brain right now? He really wants to have the conversation at the restaurant? 

He really wants to do this the right way?

You look like shit, but arguably he might think he looks worse considering the long trip back to you. Still, the restaurant is the chosen option to have this conversation, and you’re ready to get it over with so that finally the two of you can take a step forward. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The restaurant is nice. There’s a buzz of conversations surrounding the two of you but most of it feels muffled because the only sound you can truly hear is Jake’s hushed and awkward attempts to get the ball rolling. 

“So, I guess that’s why I went to my parent’s house. It’s embarrassing, I know–” He says before you cut him off. 

“Tell me how you felt the past few weeks when we were together.” You say boldly, wanting so badly to have the confirmation that he really does want this, and that he suffered much like you did.

You watch a fan of rosy tint cross his cheeks as he breaks eye contact with you, looking to the table and then back up at you. 

“Okay, um–” He stiffens a bit, glancing around to make sure no one is looking or listening in. “When we weren’t together, it was a lot easier for me to think, but when we were together, I could only really think about one thing.” He admits, nodding to himself. 

You look at him curiously before you see his eyes light up in panic.

“No! No, no. Not like, sex…” He looks down. “I mean, yeah maybe sex too but mostly I just couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make you want me more than anyone else.” 

Your heart swells at his panicked save, and then the words that follow. 

“I think I already did want you more than anyone else.” You admit back to him. “Even if I didn’t know I had feelings until you did that to me– I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

He smiles, reaching over the table as if to ask for your hand. 

“What about you? What did you think about when we were together after that night?” He asks for his own confirmation now. 

“Sex. Mostly, I guess. I felt like no one else would ever be able to make me feel that good again.” You look away, feeling ashamed and seen. “Goddamn, I sound so dramatic.”

Jake snorts, laughing at how he should have expected this but the confidence boost is a happy surprise to him. 

“To be fair though, Jake, I think I had my feelings and my lust for you mixed up.” You continue. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still feel both of those things every time I see you, or even think of you.”

“Feelings and lust?” He nods with a smile and wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes glistening in the warm lighting of the restaurant. 

You nod in confirmation, side eyeing the waitress who walks over to take down your order. 

Both of you are somehow dissociated outside of each other, there’s no way you’re not because you don’t recall what you ordered, nor what he ordered, and he appears to be feeling much the same. The moment she walks away, he’s continuing. 

“I was really that good, huh?” A smirk from him, and a nod from you. 

“What about right now then? How do you feel when you look at me?” He follows up, looking down at the table. 

“Both of those things.” You dead-pan, squeezing your legs together as you look at him and feel the warmth radiating from even this far away. The confirmation of feelings is enough by itself to have your thoughts in the gutter about him, especially after weeks of wanting him. 

Especially after having to be in this stupid fucking restaurant in the first place.

He quirks a brow before lowering his voice, his eyes drooping a bit. 

“Do you have any fucking idea how badly I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you?” 

God, there he is. That same bold best friend who originally suggested eating you out in the first place. Not entirely unfounded that he said it, but fuck, your cheeks are searing. 

“Jake, we’re in public.” You warn, knowing damn well that you’ve not been able to think of anything else either, but for the sake of the foundation of this relationship, you want to tame yourself a little bit.

“Since we started hanging out, every fucking time.” He continues, ignoring your warning. “I would get so mad when you’d go to your little hook-ups. Sometimes I even wondered if you did it intentionally to piss me off.” 

Your cheeks are still hot, but now there’s a bit of guilt filling you. 

“You really had no idea how badly I wanted that to be me?” He continues with his streak of confidence, unintentionally dirty talking to you solely because he, genuinely, cannot deny his attraction or his feelings for you by this point. “Even right now, I want nothing more than to have you to myself.”

You pause, the guilt leaving you in an instant as it’s fully replaced with Jake’s eagerness to have you in full, finally. 

“Why–” You sigh, dropping your head into your hands to hide your face from him. “Why are we at this restaurant again?” 

You feel his hand reach back over to you, removing your hands from your face and dipping down to look at you. 

“It’s so fucking hard to contain myself right now. I can admit that.” He whispers, blinking at you. “If you feel satisfied with where we stand, I’d be more than happy to leave this table now and prove everything to you.”

An instant nod from you, and an instant confirmation from Jake. 

You’re both out of the restaurant before a single sip of water, before a single visual inspection of the forgotten food the two of you ordered, and before any doubt could creep in to ruin the electrifying atmosphere you were indulging in with him. 

For Jake, his self control wavers with each passing moment as you sit next to him in the car. You look so calm as he drives as quickly and safely as possible back to your apartment, shaming himself for ever considering the two of you go in the first place. Still, the outcome is somehow more satisfying. Both of you wanting to leave just so you can truly be alone together? He couldn’t ask for a better night. 

Still, your calmness contrasts the way his insides vibrate the closer he gets to your place, and he wonders how the fuck you manage to do it. If you were to simply glance at him at the right moment, you’d see his entire body melt in the fantasies of what the two of you may be willing to do tonight. 

Years worth of pining in his head and heart are bubbling up now. You’re inviting him in, you’re accepting him, you’re wanting him back. 

What he doesn’t know though, is that you are quite literally imagining yourself wrapped in chains to this seat. Why? Because if it weren’t for those astral chains, you’d be on top of him in an instant, reassuring him that if there’s anything in the world you’ve wanted within the past few weeks, it’s him. You’d be apologizing for never taking note of his feelings before, and kissing away all of the moments he wished he could have had with you before, replacing them with very real, firm, hot kisses. 

Thankfully though, you manage to tame the beast from within and somehow, so does he. Up until you get through your apartment door and the electrifying atmosphere sizzles away in an instant. 

You expected to have the confidence to, quite literally, jump on him as soon as your door closed. Instead, you find yourself standing in awe at the entryway. 

Jake, on the other hand, would love nothing more than to have you right this moment, speeding and parking crooked be damned, he will not allow it just yet. 

“Listen,” He reaches out to you, pulling you up and against his chest. “I need to shower before I let myself do anything.” 

You breathe a sigh of relief, noting that the awkwardness came from the fact that Jake’s energy is seeping out of him, lust and worry for possibly not being as clean as he’d like to be for this. 

It feels strange, actually. You can imagine you’ve had many hook-ups with men who wouldn’t even consider a shower before inviting you over. 

“Hurry up then, before I decide to call Sungh-” 

“Don’t you fucking dare make that joke right now,” Jake squeezes you tighter against you, hating himself for constantly bringing up reasons to wait. 

“If we are going to like,” He pauses, struggling to say it out of pure nervousness that you might change your mind. “You know, be exclusive, Sunghoon’s name is forbidden.”

You chuckle against him before shoving him back in a playful way. 

“Deal. Now, can you fucking hurry?” You roll your eyes playfully, internally a little thankful for the short moments you will have to prepare yourself for this. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Damn this shower for feeling so good. Jake could fall asleep under the warmth if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been half-hard this entire time and truly fighting with himself on how to approach this situation.

It’s kind of awkward, actually. Knowing exactly what the two of you are about to do but having to wait even for fifteen minutes makes it seem like you both have a scheduled hook up and nothing more. 

It’s not a hook up though. Jake is finally where he’s always wanted to be with you, in your shower priming his body to go absolutely fucking insane on you. Before, when he ate you out, he really was controlling himself. He wanted to do more with you so bad, and now? God…

He’s flushed as he finally makes his way out of the shower, length still stiffening and softening with each thought that passes. He can barely look at himself in the mirror without wanting to laugh at how embarrassing he truly is. 

You’d probably laugh too, and he’d love the sound of it. 

Then, he’s faced with a dilemma. 

You, on the other hand, find yourself lying quietly in your bedroom after doing your best to fix the mess of yourself for whatever Jake may offer. Waiting for him, and ultimately wondering what the fuck is taking him so long when you finally hear the bathroom door open.

Faintly, you can smell your shampoo and body wash that he used as you hear him make his way to the living room and not find you. 

Then, you hear him making his way to your room. He doesn’t open the door any further than it already was and instead, stands behind it quietly before muttering out. 

“Um,” He starts, putting his hand on your door and only peeking his head in. “I wasn’t sure if there was a point to putting my clothes on–” 

Fucking pause.

God, he must sound so stupid saying that, especially after looking into your room and seeing you lying against your bed changed into the exact same pajamas you put on the night he initially made a move on you through the guise of friendship. 

Well, now it’s not even a question and he was right to assume that all he needed to do was wrap a towel around his waist and come to you. 

You watch his eyes travel your body curiously, a smile forming on his face.

“If you’re wondering if I put panties on this time too,” You smile, reaching a hand out as if to invite him to open that door and come have at it. “I didn’t.”

That’s all it takes, really, to have him pushing the door open and not-so-calmly making his way to your bed. 

Seeing his naked and damp chest is one thing, but smelling your scent all over him is another, especially when the first thing he does is practically envelop you with his body and plant his lips straight on your own. 

The first real kiss. Despite his lips having been on you before, you melt into it and find yourself forgetting how differently he’s acting now compared to before. He was so confident, so cocky, and now he’s almost docile. Meek. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” He leans back to whisper, adjusting his body so that he’s more comfortable and leaning down on one arm while the other holds your cheek. “Can’t believe you let me eat you out before ever letting me actually kiss you.”

Your face heats up at the comment, making you feel more scandalous than you ever truly tried to be. But he’s not wrong, and you regret making him feel like eating you out was the only way to get to your heart.

Strangely though, it was the way to your heart. Him doing that for you practically threw you into the deep end in search for more, from him, specifically. 

“Can’t believe you decided that you should just eat me out rather than admit your feelings for me.” You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss against him again and pretending you can’t feel the weight of his length under the loosely knotted towel on his waist. 

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” He says through the kisses, quickly losing the ability to speak when you lick against his bottom lip and, ultimately, take control of the act.

He wonders what your mouth could do to him. His entire body reacts to the way your tongue flicks and licks against his own, it takes everything in him to try and control himself from pushing too far too soon– until he realizes that there is no reason to control himself now. 

Never has making out gotten him this turned on, and it’s not a surprise because it’s you. 

He half moans, half chuckles into your kiss when he does it, pressing his hips down and against your thigh much like he did previously to the very mattress he’s got you lying against. 

“There’s so much I want to do,” He finally admits, pulling back from the kiss and hanging his head to feel how his cock reacts to the flesh of your thigh. “Please, let me do all of it.” 

You sigh, somehow feeling a pang of arousal radiate between your legs despite not yet being touched there. The weight of him on you is enough, and all you can do is nod and await the ways he intends to relieve himself with you.

Hours of head, he could give. Even more hours of burying his cock between those pretty lips and watching you return the favor for him. His confidence grows as your body moves under him, waiting, waiting, waiting for what he will do next. 

First, he plants another kiss to you, pressing his hips hard against your thigh with a breathy sigh before moving his lips down, against your neck. 

At the same time, his hands work their way up your loose shirt, cupping one breast in his palm and easily teasing your nipple with his fingers. He works his lips down the center of your clothed chest, down to your stomach, and then up again. His nose nudges your shirt up with each kiss, until his lips replace his fingers and he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth.

You’ve never felt so wanted in your life with the way he appears to be savoring you. Leaving his own pleasure neglected once again, his entire focus is on you. You arch your back up a bit, hands shooting to his head and cradling it there against your breast. 

He groans when you scratch against the nape of his neck, wiggling your hips under him and chasing the sensation that his mouth manages to send to your clit. He groans again when your nipple remains firm between his lips, and he begins to nibble. 

And this time, he moans when he manages to trail one of his hands down just to see how much it will take of this to get you wet. He tucks one hand under your shorts, only to find that you’re already dripping, soaking his fingers with a mere single slide up your folds.

“Fuck,” He sighs as if it’s a compliment when he pops his mouth off of you, flicking his head up to look at your already dazed eyes. “Already?” 

You glance away, embarrassed by how badly you want the man who was once your best friend, and is now….more than that. You can feel his fingers graze and gently play around with the heat your body has already released for him, rolling your eyes back each time he pretends he’s going to offer pressure to your clit. 

He’s fucking teasing you, and you know it.

He knows it too, because of fucking course he is. After years of torture, wondering if you’d ever manage to get wet at all with the thought of him, here you are, dripping under him when all he’s done is kiss you and fondle your nipples. 

Briefly, he remembers how needy your hips were when his tongue was seeping into you. He remembers the taste of each thrust you pressed against his face, and the smell of how badly you needed him at the time. 

As used as he was by you that night, he wants nothing more now than to pull those same desperate moans from you, to taste the wet inside of you that no man ever managed to release for you. 

“I feel like I’m going insane,” He finally breathes out, still toying with your folds and keeping an eye on the way your eyes glare back at him. “I want you so fucking bad–” He stutters now, instantly sliding his fingers into you and scooting down on the bed at lightening speed, pressing your loose shorts to the side just to get the taste of you against his lips again.

Your legs instantly shoot over his shoulders, and one of his hands reaches up to hug your thigh against him as his tongue immediately laps at every dip and crease of your cunt. His eyes nearly roll back at being able to experience this again, his fingers holding firm without a single movement just so he can feel your body confirm that you want him just as much. 

The clench around his fingers are enough, and he licks around them only for a moment before returning his lips to your clit and giving you all he’s got. 

All he can feel is your legs tightening around his head, nearly lifting your ass up and off of the bed, all he can hear is his own moans vibrating through him each time he hears you react. 

Arguably, even after that brief moment of teasing from him, feeling his mouth so eager, much like before, sent you straight into a blissed state and made you forget about the restaurant, the shower, the weeks of pining before this. His mouth is so warm, and his vibrating moans sooth your clit through its desperate attempts to beg for more. 

You can’t help the fact that your legs hug his head, or the way your hands shoot down much like before, scratching through his hair before dropping down and spreading yourself open with two fingers solely to expose your clit in full to the assault of his tongue he’s giving you. 

He missed you so much, he missed this so much. Never again will he leave you wondering, from this point forward, you should be well aware that if you so much as pushed him to his knees and lifted a leg over his shoulder, he’d be eating like a fucking king. 

Still, even with his immense love for kissing your pussy until your legs shake, there’s more to be experienced here than just this. His pace slows with the reality of that, and only now does he move his fingers with intent, and he pulls back to see how you’re spreading yourself for him, even as your legs fall from his shoulders.

“Fuck.” He rasps, lips glistening with a mixture of his own saliva and your slick. 

You lend him a drunken smile, nodding slowly as you focus in on the way his fingers scissor you open. Within a blink though, his face is right there hovering above you, staring intently at the way you react to his fingers. 

“You look so good right now, you know that?” He compliments, leaning down again to plant a kiss against you, only pumping his fingers in faster when your kiss appears to be more hungry than his own. “God, I can feel you squeeze my fingers–” 

And it’s true, he’s seeing stars solely because he can feel the clench of your pussy walls pushing his two fingers together, almost pushing against his attempts to scissor you open and curl them into the spot inside he knows you have. He can only imagine how good that would feel if he were to…

His eyes squeeze shut in a drawn out moan at the thought, his own kiss growing more hungry as he releases the towel from his waist and quickens the pace of his fingers inside of you. 

You can feel him press his cock against you, and the weight of it only becomes heavier when his fingers pause inside of you just so he can slip them out and use those same slick-coated digits to hold his length down and against you before he slides it between your lips. Now coating himself in the same wet sensation. 

You listen closely to his moan, knowing that he seems fond of neglecting his own pleasure to the point of doing near-embarrassing things to get it back when he needs it the most. It’s strangled, almost. You can hear him swallow around it when he slides up harshly, bumping your clit and causing your shorts to stretch against the crease of your thigh. 

He seems so…desperate. Yet, he can have anything he wants. 

“Keep it spread open–” He mutters when he feels you try to remove the hand that had been holding your pussy out on display for him. “I want to feel all of it.”

God, you’ve never heard him say something so sexy. Easily you do as he says, now using both hands to hold either side of your pussy open for him, and feeling the underside of his length slide against your hole. 

You let out a pleased sigh, despite your shorts becoming a nuisance at this point. It’s easy to forget you’re still wearing them though, because they only become drenched more and more as the moments pass with Jake.

You can genuinely just assume that his cock must be aching as he does this, leaking all over you. That’s something you don’t mind at all, because the stimulation is far beyond what you could ever ask for. 

“Jake–” You try to speak, only to be cut off by his hand sliding under your head and his lips attaching yet again to you.

There, you can’t help it when you remove your hands and shoot them up to his face. Holding him there, feeling the way his jaw moves when he licks into your mouth in a desperate attempt to get as much of you as he can in this moment. 

His hips fuck forward much like they did into his palm all those weeks ago, and the anticipation of if or when he finally plunges it into you drives you to kiss him just as hard as he does you.

There is nothing but the sound of kissing in the room save for muffled moans from both of you, entirely tangled up together as he does nothing more than grind himself against you. His hand cradling your head and the other still pressing his length down and against you as close as he can manage. Yours, cupping his cheeks as he kisses you, up until you run one hand down to take over for him.

In that moment, with his free and now shaking hand, he pulls back entirely and just looks at you.

He’s out of it, entirely gone from this world as he stares down with his hair drying by the minute from that shower, messy as all hell with darkened hooded eyes. He continues to stare, each thrust against you becoming pointed to the extent that it almost feels like he’s already fucked you for hours. 

And then, you feel it. The weight lifting, your shorts being stretched until they’re sliding down your thighs and off of you, and then the warmth as he adjusts his hips just barely enough to line up with your quivering hole, practically begging for him to stretch you out for the first time. 

His eyes falter only for a moment when he realizes that this is a moment he will never forget. The way you look up at him with glassy and needy eyes, out of breath, seemingly loving him as much as he’s always loved you. 

“Yeah?” He whispers, not breaking eye contact even for a moment. 

“Please.” You mutter out, not fully intending for it to sound so broken.

And as broken as your voice was in that instance, he grows much weaker by it. Dropping his head with a deep sigh, a smile, and then a chuckle.

“You really, really, can’t look at me like that and expect me to be gentle…” He pauses to look at you again. “For your sake, please tell me to slow down.”

You can barely comprehend a word he’s saying when you can feel the head of his cock teasing where you need it the most. 

“Please.” You rasp out again, wrapping your legs around his waist and forcing his body forward, ultimately sliding the tip of his length into you yourself. 

“Oh, fuck–” He chokes out before sucking in a breath and letting out a moan at the feeling. His body jerks at the sensation, the sound of your voice, the way you pulse around him. “Fuck, so good.” He continues to mutter, controlling himself for only a few seconds longer just to see if you have the ability to understand that he truly and honestly will not have the ability to go easy on you at this point. 

“Deeper.” You plead, squeezing your legs tighter around him, uncaring of his attempt to control the situation. 

That’s all it takes. Your broken voice already had him shaking, and now he’s giving up any and all control that he could have possibly hoped to have. 

Right there, with your legs hugging his waist, your hands gripping the pillow behind your head, and his hands finding purchase on either side of your shoulders, he sinks himself into you as deep as he can go and feels as if the life is being choked out of him over how fucking good it feels. 

He throws his head back in an erotic and attractive moan of relief, allowing you a glimpse at the expanse of his stretched neck, naked of any marked territory. Still, your vision goes white when the stretch hits you.

So big, so strong on top of you. You can imagine he really could fuck you hard, you hope he doesn’t go gentle on you at all, actually

“Shit, please,” You moan brokenly again, releasing your pillow and gripping his forearms. “Jake, god–” You have no words to describe how good he feels inside of you, you couldn’t begin to fathom trying to explain to him how perfect he is. 

It feels deep, deeper than you ever could have imagined. His length alone should have been enough to tell you that, but you hadn’t yet factored in the girth of it. So heavy inside of you, touching each soft and sensitive surface your pussy has to offer. 

Your body jolts in adjustment, knocking the breath out of you despite him not moving just yet. 

“Shh–” He soothes, not at all actually wanting to hush your cries for him. In fact, he’s simply saying it because he could quite literally release at any moment if you continue to speak and clench him like this. And when he finally looks down at you, he can’t fucking help it.

His hips move at their own volition, and he was right in believing there is no gentle fuck to be had here. He slides out only slightly, with the intent to fuck you as full of him as he can. He wants to stay deep, because you asked, and he wants to keep you feeling stretched around him because he can truly never get over the way you look and sound right now. 

You shake at the feeling of him pressing impossibly deeper into you, keeping his hips flush against you before snapping his hips back more now. A slightly empty feeling inside of you being filled once again within a second. 

His moans sound beautiful, he feels beautiful, and all you can do is stare up at him with watery eyes and a slack jaw, wondering why it took him so long to do this with you.

Wondering why it took you so long to want it at all, when now, you think you could never feel this good with another person again. 

His arms flex in your grasp with each thrust, and his eyes land on each visible part of your body before he weakens his stance and lowers himself to you, hips still fucking you open at a pace that’s only becoming more and more rapid, more and more fucking blinding. 

“Yeah, yeah–” Jake suddenly chimes with out of breath words, kissing you before you can comprehend or respond to those words. “No one has ever reacted like this for me–” He continues, pointing his thrusts harder into you. “Feels so good, so tight around me.” He chokes up at the last few words, stuttering his and picking up a different pace.

This time, those harsh thrusts pull back further, emptying you before slowly pressing into you again. 

“I want you to remember how this feels,” He continues, seemingly rambling against your lips with each slow thrust. “No one will ever fuck you like I will.” 

Your hooded eyes shoot open with arousal at his confident boasting. Those words feel so final, as if it isn’t even a rule, but a logical fact that only the two of you could ever find to be true. 

You can’t even manage a response, and instead moan before tucking your lips up and against his neck, using one hand to grip his hair and skew his head. 

That once naked and markless neck is no more. He is yours, and you’re lucky enough now to know that this is exactly how he wants you to feel. 

“Ahh, you like that?” He questions your reaction to his words, feeling your hips make attempts to meet him halfway with each thrust. “You like when I talk?” He continues to urge your sucking lips to speak out to him, to answer him, to boost his ego just a bit more. 

“So much,” You nearly whimper against his neck, moving your lips to another spot. “Love when you’re confident like this–”

He’s in heaven hearing those words. As if it’s a confirmation that he wasn’t just talking dirty. You both truly take those words and will fuck by them from this point forward. He truly doesn’t want anyone else, and hopefully, you’d never give another person the chance to make an attempt to fuck you the way he does. 

And then the room falls silent again, as if Jake is focused on reminding you with each passing second that he’s never been more sure or right of something in his life. Despite you already believing him, the way his cock pulses inside of you is enough of a reminder even if he had never said it in the first place. 

His pace quickens again, and then slows, and then stutters. Only to fall back into a good rhythm before his entire body starts to shake through the act. 

You wonder if this is it. Is this how his body reacts when he’s about to cum? Is this what his face looks like? Is this what his eyes do? Did his arms strain like this the first time? Did his moans come out as choked and desperate? 

None of that matters, because as quickly as it started, he buries himself into you again and stays in that one spot, shaking and timidly looking down at you. 

“Don’t move, please, don’t move.” He practically begs, losing himself to the way your hips chase the feeling of constant stimulation. “Stop moving.” He pleads again, pulling his chest from you and sitting up on his knees, keeping his cock in place deep within you. 

You watch him, unable to keep your hips still, and he watches you– trying to keep his orgasm under control before seeing your fingers trail down your stomach and to your clit.

There, he loses himself, watching you rub the soft spot just above where his cock stuffs you full. 

“I can’t,” He chokes out, snapping his hips back and allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. “Fuck, I really can’t.” He continues to mutter out, pressing his strings of cum ever deeper inside of you as he feels every muscle in his body tense. 

It feels so sensitive, but he can’t stop moving, feeling his cum fill you up to the point it’s surely being pressed out of you by his desperate length wanting nothing more than to stay inside of you.

You moan through it with him, encouraging him to lose himself inside of you, and he’s so beautiful when he does it. The fact that he does it at all has your body tensing on its own. Teetering on the edge of your own orgasm with the way your fingers almost aggressively chase after the feeling he appears to still be releasing inside of you.

And then, emptiness. You are left empty and dripping, fingers still chasing your release before–

“What the fu–” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of his tongue instantly back on you. As if he’s looping back to the beginning of it all, uncaring of tasting himself solely because through it all, he can still taste you. “Jake, Fuck–yes, right there.” You continue to groan when he replaces his tongue against your hole with his fingers, fucking into you as quickly as he can before nudging your fingers away and taking over the chase of your orgasm. 

You’re entirely amazed by how eager he is to pull it from you, and that alone is enough. The desperate ways in which he decided to pleasure you right in this moment, it’s enough.

Your hands instantly reach for his hair, gripping so tightly that you can hear the pained sound he lets out at the sheer force behind it. You very nearly rub his nose in the mess he’s made of you out of the sheer arousal you feel through your orgasm. 

You’re seeing white, feeling his fingers expertly work you open and somehow don’t feel disappointed at all that you didn’t get there before he pulled out of you. You can still feel him dripping out, fingers squelching and sliding through the mixture of both orgasms inside of you. And his tongue, good lord his fucking tongue, licking up every bit and eagerly flicking your clit at a pace much faster than he offered before.

And now, you find your legs nearly kicking him across the room. As soon as the orgasm subsides, your body goes into overdrive with the overwhelming sensitivity between your legs and all he can do is laugh at the way you practically do kick him.

Right off the bed, actually, he tumbles. 

You lay there, staring into space as you attempt to bring yourself back to reality when you see his messy hair and glistening eyes peek from the edge of your bed at you. His shoulders huffing with each deep breath he takes. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” You manage to gasp out, spread eagle and almost completely naked on your bed save for the forgotten shirt that’s still pushed up to your collarbone. 

He makes his way back up to you, pressing your legs together, lowering your shirt, and planting his heavy dead-weight right on top of you. 

A solid ten minutes pass as the two of you lay there in the mess you’ve both created. Heavy breaths turn to easy, balanced breaths together. You can barely hold your eyes open when he finally rolls off of you and right up against your side. 

“Can I ask you something?” He mutters, throat dry and stomach growling embarrassingly loud. 

“Hm?” You hum out, entirely ready to just sleep in the mess.

“Are you always like that?” He questions, a little hint of doubt breaking his confidence. “Like, did Sunghoon see you act like that too?” 

You crack your eyes open and instantly turn to face him. 

“You’re insane if you think Sunghoon is that good. I’ve never used the word ‘please’ in my life.”

Jake glances away, thinking to himself and letting those words sink in.

“Well,” He starts, pausing and feeling that little pit in his stomach return. “That’s a lie because I’ve heard you use your manners at least twice in the years I’ve known you.” 

You smile, loving that the two of you can still be somewhat catty and playful even after the fact that you just realized how insanely in love with him you are. 

“Jake, no one has ever made me act like this in bed.” You try to reassure him. “I don’t think anyone else could, besides you.”

He smiles with a nod, running his hands down your body before pausing at the half dried cum that managed to make its way up to your stomach. And then? He groans. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s insane really, that all it took for you to fall in love with the person you think you were always meant to love was him admitting it. Even more insane that he decided to take the route that involved faux playful head, with no feelings attached despite his feelings being deeply fucking attached. 

Still, the route taken to get to this point, he thinks, is fitting for the two of you. Especially now that he can look at Sunghoon without wanting to strangle him, and he can look at you knowing you’d very much invite him to strangle you, you know, considering the fact that you’re now trying to explore every sexual realm in the fucking universe with him.

Even with the desperate need to have you under him any chance he gets, and the fucking, and the arousal, none of it shines brighter than the small intimate moments he has with you that aren’t weighed down by pining or lust. 

As playful as the two of you are together, there is so much love here. So much love to still be discovered too, and he can’t help but feel excited by it. 

Romance isn’t dead, despite how the two of you tried to fucking butcher it. 

HALF RETURN

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your small towns yearly fall festival was your biggest pride and joy but getting your friends to help volunteer was nearly impossible. luckily one of them was stupid enough and too secretly inlove with you to help himself from offering.

WC ➩ 15.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Surprise! It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and wrote something that I actually enjoyed but this was a lot of fun to write and hopefully the start of me coming back on here in the future. It’s not my most exciting or hot and heavy piece of work but if you’re looking for a light fluffy small town read then I really hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Happy fall everybody and thanks for your patience and support as always. NOT AT ALL PROOFREAD

The cold bite of fall had always been your favorite time of year, finding it easiest to romanticize both its pros and its cons.

Which was something you did with just about everything and everyone you ever encountered, making them larger than life as a character in your story before they were leaving and their starring chapter was turning the page with them.

So it was your favorite time of year for many reasons, the realistic ones like the fact it was the slowest months of work and you got more paid time off than you probably deserved, but also because it was so terribly romantic in all the sniffly nose and itchy sweater goodness that came along with it.

That’s why it was no surprise to the people around you that you were constantly surrounding yourself with fall activities and hobbies. Your small town didn’t offer much, mainly known for biking through the winding roads of the mountains and the sleek dark concrete that always seemed to be wet because of the constant rainfall. It did, however, have a yearly fall festival that you had been volunteering at since you were in middle school.

You’d always heard people growing up who talked about wanting to get out of your hometown, dreamily describing big cities they’d seen on vacations and how much different the world was past the mountains and trees.

You never felt the longing to escape something this beautiful and rare and while you figured the world outside was as amazing as they described, you preferred where you had grown up. It was quiet and easy to memorize, everybody knew everybody and treated each other like family so nobody stole from others or treated them poorly. It was easy to love and, in your mind, easy to stay in as you grew old and had your own family.

Despite your own strong feelings towards your hometown, your friends probably wanted to escape it more than the average person.

You’d spent more than a few dozen hangouts laying in various basements across old couches and listening to them talk about their dreams, dreams that would take them hundreds of miles away from this town and hundreds of miles away from you.

That didn’t stop you from excitedly rushing over to the assigned hangout house for the weekend, your bike tires going so fast they were kicking up mud onto your bare legs as you pushed your thighs past your limit to peddle.

You were hurriedly hopping off once you caught sight of the familiar house, leaning your bike against the chipped paint on the side of it and quickly kicking off your dirty shoes as you greeted the mother of one of your best friends. She wasn’t at all thrown off by your quick entry or the fact you were disappearing into the basement before she could respond or tell you to clean off your dirty legs, more than used to your group of friends coming and going as the sun set.

The sounds of your pounding footsteps didn’t even grab the attention of the group of people hanging out in the basement, only one looking up to watch you as you stumbled in.

“I have great news.” You announced with a large smile, hands extended towards them to really drive forward the importance of your words .

Jay, one of your lifelong friends and the one who had watched you as you entered, raised his eyebrows in question and sat up slightly, a direct opposite of the others who didn’t even bother to acknowledge you yet.

“Mrs. Potter broke her leg.” You squeaked out the news and clenched your hands into excited fist, your smile only faltering when Sunghoon was turning to look at you with a confused glare and Heeseung stopped plucking at the guitar strings he was tuning to give you a look of bewilderment. The room fell silent and you dropped your hands against your sides in upset.

“I know she can be a bit of a nag but is that really something to celebrate?” Jungwon had an eyebrow cocked as he looked at you finally but you could see a hint of amusement on his face.

You were dramatically groaning and sulking your way over to the couch, flopping down onto the spot next to Jay and failing to fully notice the way he was tensing up for a second and then awkwardly clearing his throat when your leg brushed against his. You wrote it off as him being weary of the mud on your legs getting onto his pants, giving him a quick sorry glance before scooting over a tad.

“Of course I’m not happy about her broken leg.” You shot Jungwon a glare for his purposefully wrong assumption and he gave you a smile, eyebrows raising and hiding behind his bangs for a second. “But since she’s injured, may she heal quickly, that means there’s an open job at the fair.”

The finality of the news drew out immediate reactions from your friends. Presenting in the form of an eye roll from Jungwon as he immediately lost interest in the conversation, a disbelieving laugh from Sunghoon and an apologetic smile from Heeseung.

“Sorry Y/N but I helped you last year.” He was shaking his head and plucking at the strings again, happy he had an excuse and the others didn’t.

“That was six years ago.” You deadpanned at him, remembering all too well considering how terrible of a volunteer the tall boy had been. It wasn’t long before he was being asked to step down by the couple who ran it so his position could be filled by somebody who didn’t let the popcorn machine overflow or hand out free prizes to any kid that sniffled and gave him their best begging puppy eyes.

He just shrugged at your correction and your frown deepened despite the fact you’d already figured they’d say no considering they’d been doing so for almost a decade. You had hoped the guilt from Mrs. Potters injury would have been enough to convince at least one of the four boys.

“You’ve been asking us for all this time and we’ve never accepted. Why not ask Jake from the soccer team, doesn’t he have the hots for you?” Sunghoon was speaking in a bored tone as he relayed the information, not paying enough attention to notice the way you froze up and stared at him in confusion.

“Dude…” Heeseung trailed off as he shot his friend an annoyed stare, stretching out his leg so he could kick the boys knee in a form of scolding.

“Jake likes me?” You sat up straighter and stared at the oldest boy, trusting his word over the other threes. “Like Jake Sim? How long have you guys known about this?”

They exchanged guilty looks between themselves and you turned to look at the boy closest to you for answers instead.

Jay had always been the most mature out of your little group, even when you were all kids pushing each other around on the playground. He seemed like the oldest at times even though Heeseung took that role, strikingly alert and calm when situations caused everyone else to panic. You definitely weren’t the closest though friendship wise considering he wasn’t the biggest talker, more likely to stand in the corner and take small sips of his drink than actually engage in your loud conversations.

You always figured this was because he didn’t have any friends outside of your circle. The other boys had some more casual buddies, take Jake Sim for example, but Jay pretty much stuck to himself if he wasn’t with the four of you.

He had a certain energy that you weren’t used to seeing growing up, something about him being different than the others and that was including you and your friends. Even his look stood out, jet black hair with piercing eyes that only looked more intimidating considering he primarily wore dark clothes and a hint of smudged eyeliner.

Most people in town, and school growing up, found his presence overly intimidating and you’d heard your fair share of whispers about him and your group of friends.

His attempts to be seen as scary and keep people away from him never was turned onto you and you’d dealt with a lot of teasing from the others boy, making fun of Jay for having a soft spot for you or pouting that he let you do things he always refused to do for them. He’d glare at them until they shut up and moved on or he’d offer a soft shrug, followed by a hint of a smile when you giggled lightly at his lack of denial.

That’s why you were turning to face him now with wide and begging eyes, leaning against his side and wrapping your hand around his hoodie clothed arm to make sure his attention was on you, despite the fact it always seemed to be anyways.

“Did you hear Jake saying he likes me Jay?” Your voice was sickeningly sweet and you could hear the other boys groaning in disgust at your attempts to butter up their friend.

It didn’t seem to be working this time considering he was just staring at you with a blank expression, gaze dropping to where your hand was holding him for just a second like he was considering something before he was shrugging softly. You pouted again at his lack of response despite knowing your friend was a man of few words.

“He wouldn’t tell Jay anyways doofus, he knows that he-“ Heeseung was laughing as he started to speak and explain something that was abruptly cut off by Jungwon aggressively chucking the magazine he was flipping through in his direction.

The older boy let out a yelp and held his hands up in surrender. You looked back at Jay confused and waiting for him to fill in the blanks, even more lost when you noticed him glaring at Heeseung with a slightly fearful expression under the anger.

You suddenly remembered you were still holding onto his arm and you gently squeezed it to try and bring his attention for you, grateful it worked when he was awkwardly meeting your gaze again and sighing softly. You cocked an eyebrow in silent conversation as you waited for him to tell you what they were being suspicious about, grateful that in the background Heeseung had started to strum at his guitar again and the other two begun to talk about nonsense.

“Do you think Jake likes me enough to help me with the fair?” Your voice was a low whisper as you stared at him, leaning in slightly and missing the way his jaw clenched at your question.

“You know me and Jake aren’t friends Y/N, I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He was overwhelmingly glad your friends weren’t paying attention anymore because he knew for a fact his voice had taken on that extra sweet tone he only used with you, meeting your volume and also whispering softly despite the fact you both didn’t need to.

You were pouting again and not moving away from his face, so busy in your thoughts you once again failed to notice the way his eyes were dropping down to your pushed out lips that were closer to his than usual.

He knew you were just being dramatic, something you commonly were regardless of the situation, but he couldn’t stand seeing the expression on your face or the disappointment in your eyes. He was taking in a big breathy sigh, getting your attention again as you squeezed his arm and gave him another wide eyed and hopeful look.

“But you don’t need to ask him anyways because I’ll volunteer with you.”

You were breaking out into a wide smile at the same exact time the other boys in the room were making shocked and angry exclamations, being drowned out by your excited shriek, you closed the distance between you and Jay and leapt forward to give him a hug, pressing his back against the armrest of the couch and practically falling into his lap out of excitement.

“Dude what are you talking about? What about band practice?” Sunghoon’s annoyed tone was seeping through your happiness and piercing it with a knife of realization causing you to sit up slightly and look down at Jay in confusion.

“He’s right, what are you going to do about practice?” You were pouting at him again but slightly above him now considering you were still halfway in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. You watched the way his ears were turning red the longer you stayed in that position but you assumed he was just flustered from his plans colliding. “I can ask Jake if you’re busy it’s really no big deal.”

You heard a pained grunt from behind you and turned to see Sunghoon cradling his knee with a hurt expression, you followed his line of sight to see Jungwon glaring viciously at him.

“Sunghoon’s an idiot Y/N don’t listen to him, Jay is completely free to help you out with the fair.” Jungwon had taken on a sickeningly sweet tone and your nose scrunched up in disgust at the sound of it, looking between the four boys suspiciously.

None of them were meeting your gaze full out but you tried to ignore how weird they were all being about the situation, more excitement creeping back up at the confirmation you’d have help with the fair, especially since it was Jay who was miles more mature than the rest of them. You were squeezing him back into a hug with another happy squeal and he returned it weakly, eyeing Jungwon viciously over your shoulder.

——

You’d spend most of the following Monday morning getting ready for the first day of setting up the fair, tightly wrapping your scarf around your neck and settling your ear muffs just loose enough so you’d still be able to hear while avoiding the cold chill as it got later in the day.

Your morning hot chocolate was abandoned on the kitchen sink when you heard the soft bells chiming from outside your house, typically occupied by numerous other louder ringings but you knew who it was immediately judging by its gentle sound.

Looking out your living room window confirmed your suspicions seeing Jay sitting on his bike at the end of your drive way and staring down at his hands. He was picking at his fingers, a habit he’d adapted after the callouses from his guitar started to form more often.

Your fist was banging on the thick glass roughly, a smile on your face building when he jump slightly on his bike seat and looked up towards your direction with a startled expression. You waved at him and his shoulders released a little bit of tension, turning your hand over and fanning it towards you, silently instructing him to come inside.

He was hesitating for a second before you saw him gently lowering his bike down onto your front yard, bouncing in your stride as you went to open the door for him.

“I figured you’d want some cocoa before you were stuck in the cold all day.” You were quickly explaining your invitation inside to him as soon as you swung the wooden door open, he’d barely gotten up the steps and gave you a surprised look before nodding swiftly in agreement and coming inside.

You walked back to the kitchen with him in tow and tried to ignore the weird nervous feeling building in your stomach. You’d been alone with Jay countless times so you hadn’t thought much about it but the more you reflected back on it the more you realized you’d mainly sat in awkward silence for short durations waiting for the others to come back and ease the tension.

Pouring the steaming hot chocolate into a new mug for him, you told yourself to not take it personally.

Jay had always been on the quieter side and you knew it had nothing to do with you, as far as you were concerned. This was confirmed a bit when you glanced over your shoulder to see him awkwardly standing against the wall near the doorway, watching you as you poured the drinks but quickly diverting his attention around the room when you made eye contact.

You laughed softly, handling the hot handles carefully as you turned slowly, nudging your chin towards the living room so he understood where you were heading as you walked past him.

“Thank you again for helping me Jay.” You were speaking in a low voice as you sat on the couch, leaning over to hand him his drink considering he sat an entire cushion away from you. “I know you didn’t necessarily want to.”

He wasn’t responding out loud, just give you a soft nod of his head and looking down at the cup of hot chocolate awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs around the mugs handle and shifting in his spot on the couch. A frown was instinctively forming on your face at his silence and you wondered for a second if you should make up some excuse to free him of his responsibilities, maybe tell him you’d actually found somebody else to help out.

But then he was glancing at you and the corner of his mouth turned up just enough for you to notice and you felt better, a wide grin breaking out on yours.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened suddenly as you remembered something you’d gotten for him as a thank you, quickly telling him you’d be right back and rushing up the stairs to your bedroom, leaving him on the couch.

You returned swiftly with the fabric in your hands to see him sitting tensely in the same spot, waiting to see what you’d gotten so excited about. His eyebrows raised when you approached holding the long string of material and you smiled more at his clear hesitance, sitting directly next to him on the couch and turning to face him.

“What is that thing?” He was questioning in a low tone but you could hear the humor in the question, clearly amused by the monstrosity you were holding.

“I’ve taken up crocheting recently.” You explained to him with a smile, stretching out the clothing in your hands to show him exactly what it was you were gifting him. “I figured I’d make you a scarf so you didn’t get too cold helping me. It even matches mine.”

Your excitement was clear despite the fact it clearly didn’t match your store bought white scarf. The black fabric was lumpy and awkward, random strings sticking out in places they weren’t meant to be and barely forming a straight enough line to properly be a scarf.

Jay couldn’t have cared less about how the gift looked, he was flushed in the face just due to the fact you’d chosen to make him it in the first place. He figured you would have done it for whoever agreed to help you and he imagined you’d be gifting them all a lot of hand made things if the hobby managed to actually stick, but your smile when you shifted towards him more and indicated you wanted to put it on him was a gift enough in itself.

He watched your face closely as you delicately wrapped it around his neck, crossing the ends so it wouldn’t slip off easily or open up.

You were meeting his gaze for half a second and giving him a proud smile before a bright flash from the side of you was startling you both, jumping away from each other and widening the distance you hadn’t even realized was closing. You turned your head quickly to see what had made the interruption and a low groan pushed past your lips when you saw your mother standing there with her polaroid camera.

“I’m sorry! You two just looked so cute matching together.” She was giving you a sheepish grin as she poked her head out from behind the blocky camera, eyes teasing and glancing between both of you.

You glanced at Jay to see he had completely tensed up again, jaw tight as he avoided looking at you and stared towards your mother before going back to picking at his rough hands.

She wasn’t exactly wrong about the two of you matching, the scarves being the main point of focus but it didn’t help that Jay was wearing his typical head to two black clothing and you’d gone for a lightly colored white and tan pallet today, so perfectly opposite it almost looked intentional.

“It’s nice to see you as always Jay, it’s been a while since you’ve come around.” Your mothers tone was sweet as she spoke to him but you could see the curiosity on her face, causing you to quickly stand from the couch and butt in.

“Thanks mom but we really have to get going, can’t be late on the first day.” You gave her a tight smile and instinctively reached your hand backwards for Jay to take it.

It was left empty for a few seconds and you glanced over your shoulder to see him staring at it with confusion before he was setting his untouched mug down and clasping his rough hand in yours. You tugged him forward and he made a small shocked noise as you dragged him out of the house, listening to your mom call out wishing the two of you good luck with the fair.

You both stayed silent as he picked his bike up from off the wet grass and waited for you to unlock yours, your hands moving fast to switch the numbers and remove it from the rickety old piece of wood your mother called a handrail despite barely being stable enough for a twig to lean on it let alone a human.

Suddenly you felt an emotion you rarely did, embarrassment flooding through you as your neck got hotter and hotter under your scarf.

You found yourself wondering what Jay thought of the state of your house even though all the boys had been there over a dozen times and you’d never once considered picking up the messes your mom made in a rush or raking the pile of leaves and twigs surrounding your old porch.

Almost everyone in town was around the same class in terms of wealth and status, with the small exception of families like Heeseung’s who could afford weekly maintenance on their yards and a fully finished basement with little risk of flooding, but he was very generous with his extra space and would slyly cover lunches and treats without making a big deal about it.

You’d surprisingly never been to Jay’s house and you weren’t sure the other boys had been either.

He always insisted on walking home or being dropped off in the center of town claiming he had a ride on the way without giving too much information. You’d see Sunghoon, who was your usual driver, push it a few times but the uncomfortable look on the older boys face made you take a mental note to not pry for more details yourself.

You sighed when the lock finally popped up and glanced up just enough to see him still watching you patiently, not bothering to make snide remarks about your speed or rush you like your other friends might’ve.

“Sorry about my mom.” You started speaking once you pushed your bike over to where he was standing with his, both of you rolling them out of the driveway and down onto the empty street. The potholes were full of the brown rain water and specs of gravel here and there made it a bit risky to go too fast on your bike but you mounted it anyways.

He didn’t reply directly other than a shake of his head that indicated he saw no issue with it but the silence was killing you and you waited until his bike was steadily riding next to yours before speaking again.

“She’s just so overbearing sometimes and it’s totally embarrassing oh don’t worry she won’t do anything with that photo, I’m not even sure the camera fully works I think it’s just for the effect.” You were definitely rambling but it wasn’t out of character for you to be filling silence with nonsense and excited monologues.

“Your mom is nice.” He was talking suddenly and it indirectly cut off your next stream of verbal thoughts, surprised at the fact he had actually added to the conversation instead of just giving you soft nods and listening. “Atleast from what I can tell.”

You were staring at him with your mouth parted but only for a few seconds so you didn’t run into anything, nodding your head and swapping roles as you fell silent. You ignored the urge to ask about his own mother and turned a corner a little too sharply, thankfully not enough to fall into the dirty street but it still brought a small laugh out of him and you smiled in response.

“It’ll be really easy on the first day.” It was better to switch the line of conversation to something less invasive so you could avoid embarrassing yourself further and he went back to nodding as you spoke, riding slightly in front of you with his hands tightening and unclenching around the handle bars.

You mentally decided you’d learn how to make knitted gloves next.

——

The day thankfully went as simply as you had promised it would considering there wasn’t too much to do yet with the booths just starting to get set up as vendors picked their locations for the year and unpacked their truckloads of goodies.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you dragged Jay around, equally as happy about the fair finally happening and the fact you’d managed to have a friend to share it with after so many years of having to keep the excitement to yourself.

Jay was a very good sport about the muddy grass and the chaotic setting of the field that was always used, much more patient with you and your high energy than the other boys would’ve been. You kept your hand locked around his elbow as you pulled him from vendor to vendor, introducing each familiar face to him and giving him a quick rundown on what they sold and where they came from.

You loved the fair so much because it meant you got to see new faces and hear stories about the towns neighboring yours for once, a large amount of the attendees coming from other places to promote their small businesses. The vending was a small part of the entire celebration but it was your personal favorite.

“This booth is the best.” You were leaning a bit closer to him so none of the others heard you and took offense to your bias and he glanced at you from the side of his eye. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Jay shifted in place as you both studied the half set up booth full of custom made jewelry with shiny metal clasps and crystals you’d never even heard of let alone actually got to see in person.

“She makes all of these herself?” His voice had taken on the same whisper as yours had and you nodded as you followed his line of sight to see the owner of the booth, an older woman who was hanging up a sign with shaky hands and furrowed eyebrows.

Your hand was falling against your side as Jay moved forward and it lost its place on his arm, a frown forming on your face for just a few seconds before a smile replaced it as you realized what he was doing.

His voice was low and gentle as he spoke to her so you couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but she made an appreciative noise and handed the sign over to him so he could help her get it in place, her less shaky hands patting him on the shoulder thankfully once he was finished.

You took a step or two closer which was enough to get his attention and he looked up at you swiftly, eyes widening a bit like he only just now realized he’d left you standing there instinctively.

Surprisingly he was coming back to your side and bending his arm enough to indicate you could hold it again, something you quickly did even if your cheeks flushed a little at the realization you’d been holding onto him the entire day without really even noticing that wasn’t something you typically did.

“How lovely.” The vendor was practically cooing at the sight of you and your mouth dropped open at the implication of both your stance and your matching scarves. “What a kind young man, you’re a lucky lady.”

Jay made a noise that could only be described as strangled and you would have laughed at him if it wasn’t for the bashful look on the woman’s face, clearly regretting her words and assumption because of his reaction.

“I am, aren’t I?” You were giving her a sweet smile before gently patting his arm and watching the side of his face to further bask in his embarrassment.

You could hear her laughing in relief and delight at the sight of the two of you but you were more focused on how red Jay was turning and the way he was intensely attempting to not look at you. You grinned harder before waving goodbye to her and tugging him along, causing him to let out another distressed sound.

“What was that?” He was shocking you by speaking up and questioning your motives but you only laughed at the serious tone he’d taken and continued walking.

“I mean she’s not entirely wrong. I’d say I’m very lucky.” You tilted to the side to bump against him and he let out a scoffed laugh that made your smile grow, pleased you’d gotten him to loosen up a little bit.

You’d taken him a little past the vendors now so the buzz of the moving people and trucks had quieted down, instead being replaced by the clucks of chicken and the soft noises the cows in the barn were making.

The sight of a farm wasn’t uncommon where you lived but this one was particularly amazing to you considering the sheer size of it, making it the perfect space to host the crowds and heavy machinery that came along with the fairs open weekend. The large field would soon be filled with food trucks and a ferris wheel standing taller than the trees surrounding you, children running with caramel apples and a petting zoo full of the same animals in the red barn behind you.

“It’s really something.” Jay was filling the silence and you snapped out of your envisioning to glance at him, finding him also looking out into the field and watching the place come to life. “I didn’t realize how different it would be from just attending.”

“Atleast you don’t find it as boring as the others do.” You’d stopped walking by now in favor of leaning against a large pile of hay stacks and people watching, not surprised that he remained upright and stoic instead of joining you. “I’m really thankful you decided to help me this year even though you’d miss band practice.”

His head snapped over to you in shock and you laughed at the slightly panicked expression, shrugging your shoulders and picking at some of the loose straws of hay underneath you.

“Jungwon wasn’t exactly subtle but I’m grateful nonetheless.” You were standing back up at that and wiping the back of your pants to get the dust off of the fabric, looking back up at him and slightly squinting your eyes against the sun. “You’re a good friend.”

He was scratching the back of his neck and shifting his foot again awkwardly at the compliment but you were glad to see him nod in light acceptance.

“Wanna get some hot chocolate?”

——

A week continued on just like that with Jay arriving to your house a few hours before dinner time and the two of you riding to the field together, your voice overly filling the silence with his light hums and brief comments reassuring you that he was still actively listening.

Jay was providing more than just company, actually assisting you when it was finally time to start helping you and doing the volunteer work your other friends were so eagerly avoiding.

He was lifting heavy slates of wood without being asked twice and waiting for further instruction as you added a fresh coat of bright red paint to the apple bobbing booth. You knew you’d made the right choice with having him help (although your options were limited) and the other regular volunteers seemed to agree.

“Didn’t realize you were into strong guys.” The voice suddenly in your ear was making you jump and nearly spill your apple cider, glaring at the person joining you for the shock even though you were instinctively leaning closer to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You were mumbling around the styrofoam cup and she laughed mockingly at you, knowing you long enough to see through your indifference.

Cindy was twice your age but you’d gotten along from the moment you eagerly offered to volunteer, her parents being the founders of the fair in the first place which made her the rightful owner once they had passed away a few years ago.

She got on your case regarding just about everything but the tough love was a breath of fresh air considering the type of overbearing and coddling affection you were used to from your mother. It was almost your worst nightmare for her to catch you watching Jay as he helped the other male volunteers move logs and heaps of old wood away from where the mini rides would be installed.

“Honey I know heart eyes when I see them and yours are practically bursting out of your thick skull.” Her hand was reaching over to try to steal a piece of your warm pumpkin donut sat infront of you and you aggressively swatted at it with a scowl.

“He’s my friend. I’ve known him since I was like basically a baby.” You were trying to keep your tone flat and unsuspecting even though you weren’t even quite sure why you suddenly felt on trial.

You weren’t even purposefully eyeballing Jay or whatever she had called it but he just so happened to be directly in your line of sight and coincidentally he had removed his zip up at some point, most likely needing the cold chill because of all the heavy lifting he was doing with a surprise ease.

“Well he’s definitely not a baby anymore.” She made a small appreciative noise and you turned to her with your nose turned up in disgust, taking a moment to soak in her typically eccentric outfit.

Cindy was definitely one of the most interesting people in your town aesthetic wise, big chunky earrings being used as decorations in her large unkept hair and layers and layers of jarringly opposing patterns and fabrics. It somehow worked on her and you always loved the fact she looked like a little halloween trinket come to life.

“That’s disgusting, you could be his mother you know.” Your eyebrows were furrowed but she knew better than to take your annoyance serious, shrugging her shoulders and directing your attention back to the topic of the conversation with a ring covered hand.

“He watches you about as much as you watch him.” She had the same tone she always had when she felt like she was proving you wrong and in this case, she was. Jay was eyeing the two of you as you spoke but trying his best not to make it obvious, getting distracted enough to trip over a log and nearly crash into one of the bigger burlier men working.

He was far enough away that you couldn’t hear the interaction but you laughed at the glare he received and the way he threw both of his hands up in surrender, backing away and giving you a quick embarrassed glance before picking up the log he tripped over.

“Oh what a mess that boy is.” She was successfully stealing the rest of your donut and you sighed in defeat, leaning against her more and letting her signature vanilla scent hit you full force. “Doesn’t speak much does he.”

“You talked to him?” You didn’t quite understand why that peaked your interest so much but she chuckled at the eagerness in your question, nodding her head and chewing the soft donut for a few seconds before answering.

“He came over to old Betsy’s booth when she was using the restroom and I was filling in for her.” She seemed to miss the irony in her calling somebody around her age old and you didn’t dare point it out to her. “Kept eyeing the necklaces.”

You couldn’t think of a time Jay would’ve gone back to the jewelry stand without you and your eyes narrowed further.

“Well did he buy anything?”

“Don’t remember.” She hummed the words so casually but you knew better than to believe her, sitting up off her shoulder and turning your body so you could fully face her with a stern look. Your normally bubbly exterior was easier to lose than you usually preferred around your strange friend but you assumed it was because she never once minded you on your grumpiest days.

“You so totally remember.” Your finger raised accusingly and she glanced at it with a quirked eyebrow, her large red hexagon framed glasses almost blocking her amused expression. “Cindy what did he buy?”

You assumed she was going to make another excuse to not answer you directly but the universe, in all it’s twisted ways, actually offered a real one in the form of one of the senior volunteers calling for her attention and waving at you before urgently fanning her over.

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere.” The air of mischief surrounding her had intensified as your own lighthearted annoyance followed suit and you rolled your eyes as she glanced back out into the field. “You’ve got better company incoming anyways.”

She was gone just in time for Jay to reach the two of you and he watched her back for a few seconds as she strolled away, a silent question floating around his furrowed eyebrows as if he was worried he was the reason she’d left so suddenly.

Your friend typically had an anxious energy surrounding him but it bothered you more so right now so you cleared your throat to get his attention and smiled when he finally gave it, patting the spot Cindy had just left empty and not scooting over when he jumped into a start and walked around the table to sit next to you.

“I heard you’ve met Cindy.” You nudged him with your elbow and he titled his head to grin at you in the most genuine way you’d seen from him in all your years of companionship, eyes squinting against the sun as it slowly set with a certain lightness you quite enjoyed. You figured the hard work had made him too tired to keep his guard as high as usual and you briefly considered asking the volunteers to give him more logs to move.

“She’s a character.” He took a second to form the sentence and it came out in slow patches like he was trying to find the nicest word to describe her eccentric ways. Your mouth was opening to inform him it was okay to be offput by her before he was talking again. “She reminds me of you actually.”

That shut you up and you felt a sudden unnecessary guilt for not immediately knowing if he was complimenting you or doing the opposite.

You hadn’t even noticed you were leaning against him again until he stiffened up at your unusual reaction, an apologetic look on his face making you feel even worse. It was beginning to frustrate you that you couldn’t stop embarrassing yourself in front of him, the ability beyond foreign and not something you’d ever even considered before.

His hand was cold when you reached out to place yours over it, not exactly holding but just letting your palm rest on top of his knuckles.

“I’m glad actually. I think she’s probably the most interesting person on earth.” You were watching his reaction to both your statement and the touch before forfeiting first and looking past him in the direction she’d gone.

“I doubt that.” He sounded strangely heavy and it was a tone unlike any you’d heard from him, immediately bringing your gaze back to his face in an attempt to decipher it.

Jay remained as stoic as he usually was and you were suddenly glad for the lowered sun, hoping the lack of lighting in the field managed to hide the light dusting of your cheeks.

——

It was almost refreshing to be back in the basement with the rest of your friends, not having any type of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach since Jay currently wasn’t here and for the first time in two weeks you weren’t having to overthink why you were feeling so weird.

Even though the other boys were trying their best to make you as awkward as possible, all staring at you with questioning eyes after Jungwon asked how it’d been volunteering this year.

“It’s fine.” You knew as soon as you gave a vauge answer that they were going to get suspicious, your eyes slowly closing in regret as they got an excited buzz to them and immediately hounded in on you like a pack of dogs (or over enthusiastic kittens).

“This is the first time since we were preteens you’ve talked about the fair and not went on for hours.” Even Sunghoon was being unusually perceptive and leaning forward on the edge of his arm chair.

“Can you guys not be super annoying about this?” You winced as you said it, already prepared for how rowdy they’d get at the admittance that there was something to be annoying about in the first place.

Not even Heeseung was exempt from the almost childlike giddiness they all had now and you rolled your eyes at the way they were all smacking eachother and overlapping sentences of ‘I told you so’ adjacent statements.

Luckily you were saved by the sound of Heeseung’s mom calling your name from the top of the stairs, shouting it a few times to try and outmatch the volume of all the boys talking at once. You managed to hear her exasperated tone beneath it and you left them to their theatrics without another word, finding her standing in the kitchen with the phone in her hand and an impatient look on her face.

You glanced at her apologetic before taking the phone from her and waiting until she was back at the table doing her crosswords before you actually put it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You knew it wasn’t likely to be your own mother calling about your whereabouts considering she ever rarely actually did, trusting you and knowing you were an adult who didn’t need checking in when you were usually only ever at a handful of places.

“Y/N?” Jays voice coming through the speaker was enough to make your stomach form a tight knot, not even fully processing the breathy and shaky way he was speaking before understanding something was wrong.

“Where are you?” You weren’t sure why it was the first thing you thought to ask him and he took a few painful seconds to even answer, your hand tugging at the chord connected to the wall anxiously as you waiting for his voice to come back and let you know he was still on the other end.

He was hushed when he muttered the address too and you felt little to no guilt about rushing out of the house without saying goodbye to the boys, formality and patience totally fleeing your mind as you picked up your bike off the side of the house and took off down Heeseung’s long smooth drive away.

Your thighs were burning as you made your way across town to the rundown area Jay had given an address for, heart racing in a similar pace to the buzzing in your ears that had started as soon as you were hanging up the phone.

The sun was setting now and you knew it was only a matter of time before your mother started to wonder why you were gone far past dinner but you couldn’t even begin to think about that or your friends realizing you weren’t coming back down or Cindy checking her jeweled watch when you didn’t show up for your usual hot donut before volunteering.

Nothing else was currently even a drop more important than Jay and the way he rushed out the address, one you didn’t even need an explanation for to understand what it was. The hesitance in the delivery told you exactly where you were heading and that was only part of the reason you felt sick as you rounded the corner sharply into the barren seeming neighborhood.

The houses with boarded windows and bright red ripped notices on the doors would’ve led you to assume the place was abandoned if it wasn’t for the mass of bright lights coming from the house on the end of the street.

You forfeited your bike in the middle of the road in exchange for running and you skidded to a stop when you realized you’d managed to completely sprint past Jay, not noticing him considering the way he was practically hunched in on himself and missing his usual stoic expression as he stood under a large overgrown tree.

Instead his face was an eerie combination of absent and horrified, gaze meeting your wide eyes but leaving you with the terrible feeling he was looking straight through you.

“What happened?” Your voice seemed to echo and his face was red and blue from the lights behind your tensed shoulders, your hands being painted with the same shades when you were reaching up to cup his cold cheeks.

He had the scarf you’d made for him around his neck and your heart ached at the idea he might’ve been on his way to meet up with you before whatever had occurred did. Your thumb brushed over its bumpy fabric when it smoothed over his skin and he practically leaned into it despite your friend’s usual disinterest towards physical touch.

“Can we go somewhere else?” It took you a few breaths to even realize he’d been the one to speak and you nodded instinctively, staying frozen even when he stood up and by default placed himself directly infront of you.

Your boot bumped against his shoe when you went to take a step back and he quickly looked away from the house and continuously flashing sirens.

You were wondering if it was a good idea to leave or if he still was needed by the officers scattered throughout the yard and near the patrol cars, sparing them a glance over your shoulder as you started to follow him. You didn’t meet any of their eyes enough to understand what you should do but there was no way you were going to leave Jay alone so you sighed and followed after him.

He was leading you around the back of the house where you could see a tilted garage and a bunch of shrubbery, almost enough to be completely hiding the car underneath it all.

Jay didn’t look at you once as he started to pull twigs and piles of bushes off the hood and windshield, failing to realize the way you were hugging yourself now to fend off the cold and anxiously peering back around the side of the house as you waited for somebody to come and try to stop you from leaving. Nobody came and eventually he was stopping to take a harsh breath before opening the door and looking at you expectantly.

Despite your nerves, you still followed suit and climbed into the old car. The air was stuffy and you could almost taste how long it’d been since it was put to any use especially obvious with all of the dust lining the dashboard and creating a fine film over the cup holders and stick shift that Jay was wrapping his hand around without a second thought.

“I didn’t know you had a car.” Your voice was filling the car only after you’d been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes, leaving the town limit a few blocks ago and entering a long stretch of road you’d never been down before.

It was true considering there had been over a few dozen times everybody had complained about the lack of cars in the group, instances where you’d had to cancel plans because it just wasn’t manageable with your bikes. Even Heeseung didn’t have a license even though his mom was always telling him he’d have access to the family van sitting in the garage if he just took the road test.

You didn’t miss the fact that there was a lot you didn’t know about Jay, clearly more than you even realized considering how confused you were tonight by all the missing pieces.

“It was my dad’s.” He was finally glancing over at you but his tone of voice let you know this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about further, nodding your head in understanding and watching him as the trees grew larger around you and the road twisted and turned.

“Are you feeling okay?” You didn’t really know what to ask him considering how little you knew about the situation but he was still nodding slowly and it looked genuine from what you could tell.

You decided it was best to just stay silence so you didn’t accidentally say the wrong thing and Jay took a deep breath before doing the same thing, neither one of you speaking for the next thirty minutes as he drove and stared ahead at the road.

You opted for looking out the window at the large stretches of land and water, roads now slick and shiny with the rain that had been falling during your drive and making the night even more gloomy than it already was. You hoped your mom had seen the weather and assumed you were staying with a friend tonight instead of riding your bike home, your stomach turning a bit at the idea of her calling around to try to make sure you were safe.

Heeseung or one of the other boys knew to cover for you if she called his phone, repeating the practiced line that you had fallen asleep on the couch and forgotten to check in with her beforehand.

But then the worry would land with them and that thought made you frown too.

You weren’t yet regretting following Jay but you hoped you’d get to where you were going soon, suddenly wondering if he even had a destination in mind or if he was just going to keep driving forever and ever.

It didn’t take long to get your answer considering he was pulling into an empty parking lot sitting above a small hill that led down to what you assumed was a dark beach, a cold chill from the water filling the car once he turned it off and the low rattle of the engine disappeared.

He was just sitting there in the drivers seat with a faraway look on his face, picking mindlessly on the callouses covering his hands like he always did.

You were suddenly remembering what was the cause of the lump in your coat pocket, sitting up a bit and reaching your hand inside until it wrapped around the soft fabric you’d been molding for the past two weeks.

Jay was already watching you curiously and his eyes flickered up to yours when he realized what he was you were now holding and presenting out to him across the center console, a hopeful look on your face as you nudged it in his direction.

“You made these?” His question had an obvious answer but you had a feeling he just wanted to hear you say it.

“They match your scarf.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal even though you’d gone through an entire roll of fluffy yarn to make the small pair of gloves, messing up the instructions from your old crocheting book numerous times before you finally got them to a functional point.

Your heart was filling with pride when he was pulling them on and flexing his finger inside, seemingly fitting thankfully considering all you had to go off of for sizing was the amount of time you’ve stared at his hands playing guitar.

“They’re perfect.” He looked so sincere and thankful that it threw you for a few seconds, your eyes widening as you nodded your head and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you seriously.”

“It’s no problem. Did you want to get out?” The intensity suddenly filling the air was making your cheeks flush and you wanted nothing more than to be out of the old car, even if it met facing the cold chill waiting for you outside.

He seemed like he was considering it for a few seconds before he was opening his door and stepping out, making his way over to your side before you could process how fast he left and you faltered when he was opening your door for you.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to take your delayed reaction to heart and you were scrambling out before another awkward second passed by, feeling even more grateful when he was unexpectedly bending his arm and letting you wrap your hands around it like you would at the fair.

It brought a level of comfort to you that you hadn’t begun to understand fully but you welcomed it all the same, walking closely to him as you left the parking lot and the hard concrete under your feet turned into wet feeling sand that slowed your pace down automatically.

The beach was fogged over from the cold weather and you could barely see the water due to the darkness now completely surrounding you, relying solely on the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to let you know you were getting too close.

You and Jay walked in silence like that for a few minutes, alongside the water but far enough that it was only barely touching the sides of your boots whenever the waves rolled over and spread out into the sand.

He was eventually pausing in his stride and you glanced at the side of his face expectantly, seeing that same blank look he had when sitting in the car and feeling your heart tighten with the urge to help him any way you could. You weren’t even sure where to begin but it felt right to slowly sit down onto the sand, holding his arm loose enough that he could feel you moving before you tugged him down too.

You smiled a bit when he sat quickly beside you and you warmed even though the floor was cold and damp underneath you.

You decided to keep holding onto his arm even though you weren’t walking anymore and that left you practically hugging his side while you sat facing him with his own gaze towards the water, your legs pressed up against his and his glove covered hands crossed over his stomach cautiously.

There’d been dozen of instances where you had to sit in close proximity to Jay but never once had you experienced one where you were having to silently tell your heart to calm itself incase he could feel it beating out of control.

“Are you alright?” You couldn’t physically take the silence in the air anymore and he looked at you as you spoke.

His gaze was heavy but as kind as it always was when situated on, a tiredness to him that you weren’t used to seeing. You squeezed his arm and they softened even further while his head tilt to the side at your affectionate gesture.

“I’m sorry I took you all the way out here. I wasn’t really sure where else to go so I just drove.” He was quiet as he spoke and you almost didn’t hear him over the crashing waves.

You suddenly felt a twinge of guilt for being so skeptical about following him into the car and allowing him to leave the limits of your town.

“I don’t mind, it’s a beautiful place.” You heard the irony of the statement at the same time amusement passed over his face, both of you knowing it was far too dark for you to visually appreciate the beach. “It’s cool you can drive.”

He actually did laugh at that, a light one closer resembling a scoff but it seemed genuine nonetheless. You didn’t expect an explanation for him keeping his ability a secret and he didn’t offer one.

You fell into another lapse of silence but you found more comfort than awkwardness in this one, enjoying the closeness of the moment and trying to put yourself into his mind for a second.

Jay was all you could see with how low the light was, just the side view of his face that you’d been accustomed to for such a large part of your life that it was almost odd to be feeling so overwhelmed by the sight of him. It definitely wasn’t the time to be trying to understand why you had been feeling so off kilter around him these days but you knew the clock was clicking for you to figure it out.

His jaw was tense like it got whenever the boys got too rowdy in public or the times in high school when people would whisper in the halls as your small group passed.

It wasn’t a secret that Jay had a certain protective nature surrounding him but your silent friend had never looked as bothered as he did right now.

You were wrestling with yourself in your own mind and trying to shake the idea that he was possibly uncomfortable with your sudden clinginess. You had a reminder on a constant loop that he was the one who initiated the small contact almost everytime and his cheeks flushed red almost as much as yours did whenever you squeezed his arm in yours.

“My mom got arrested.” His voice was cutting off your rampant irrelevant thoughts and your mouth parted slightly in surprise from the sudden admission, immediately snapping shut when you noticed him watching you from the side of eye.

“Jay.” You went to speak words of comfort but his lips pursed and his eyes shut for a second like he was pained so you swallowed your sentence and waited for him.

“It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time or the last.” He was beginning to rush through the words like he didn’t think he could manage to get them all out and you watched him carefully, forgetting the cold weather and the wetness coating the fabric of your pants. “I called you because I knew seeing you would make me feel better but I don’t really need to talk about it or anything.”

“Then we don’t have to talk about it.” Your voice was firmer than usual and his shoulders relaxed.

You weren’t even thinking when your hand was reaching up to touch his face, turning his head towards your direction so he didn’t really have a choice but to look at you.

Your hands were undoubtedly freezing against his skin but you still took the opportunity to absentmindedly rub your thumb against his cheek and jaw, observing the way he almost melted into the touch with something close to pain in his expression.

This was nothing like the arm holding or the hands brushing when you passed him a paintbrush, crossing over the line of things you could fit in the category of your newly developed friendship without the connection of the group. This was something else entirely and you chose not to place it anywhere for now, letting it exist here on the beach without the weight in your chest following along.

“Did it make you feel better?” Your voice was almost a whisper but you had no doubt he heard you considering how close your faces had gotten now that you made him look at you fully. “Seeing me?”

You knew the answer already when you asked it but you still weren’t prepared for the way he softly nodded while leaning into your touch further, eyes big and puppy like in direct contrast to his usual stern and more feline gaze. Vulnerability had completely taken over his typical stoic attitude and you felt a surge of pride for getting to see him like this.

Jay had been consuming your thoughts since you started hanging out one on one and it felt far too important of a moment to let pass you by.

You barely had to shift yourself forward to be able to kiss him but the slightest sign of you moving spurred him to close the gap instead, pushing his lips against yours and taking you by surprise.

The beach was almost quieter as the two of you kissed softly, the waves sounding like they were further away since all you could focus on was the warmth radiating off of him. You were flushed from how delicate he was with you and how it lacked any real heat considering it was much more of a romantic kiss than you both trying to turn the other on.

He kept his eyes closed when you pulled away from eachother and you rested your forehead against his, watching his expressions closely and not wanting to lean back incase the lack of touch made him reconsider what had happened.

You’d be stupid to not understand Jay had always had a soft spot for you but just because the boys teased him about it didn’t mean he actually felt like you were somebody special. He was a gentleman in all aspects of his interactions so you weren’t certain enough to bet on the fact he had any type of feelings for you that would make him see this kiss the way you did.

“Please don’t regret this tomorrow.” He said it in one quick whisper and your heart twisted at the same time your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I won’t, of course I won’t.” You hoped your voice was firm enough to make him believe you but you could tell by the look on his face that he was still skeptical.

You didn’t know how else to prove it to him besides kissing him again so that’s exactly what you did, hands cupping his face and pulling him into you much more passionately than you had the first time. This go around there was a lot more movement and a soft noise escaped you when you felt his gloved hand on your knee.

It was hard to connect the fact the Jay you were kissing was the same Jay you’ve known almost your entire life. He was the same boy who used to scowl on the swings at the playground and silently pay for your snacks at lunch or hold the door for you when entering Heeseung’s house.

You were almost reverting back through all your platonic memories with him as you kissed and seeing him in a different light than you had before.

This time when you stopped kissing you fully leaned into him until you were practically hugging without having your arms around each other, the sudden longing to just feel him close overwhelming you as you tried to pretend it was simply because of the cold and not because he opened up apart of himself to you tonight and that seemed to be the final piece you needed to understand how you felt.

“We should go, you’re going to catch a cold.” He was speaking again in a far away voice and you would’ve declined and asked for just a few more minutes but he was already standing up.

You suddenly felt the most distant you had in a long time from him and your throat was tightened even when he offered his arm in your direction, the action coming across more robotic now than him actually reaching out for you.

It was hard to not overthink considering he was driving you both home in silence, the hills and forest of the town coming into sight as you left behind the empty stretches of road and sky above the ocean.

For once you found yourself looking out the window with longing as you passed the welcome sign back into where you’d grown up, finally slightly understanding why most people had a hard time coming home after being somewhere else for a change.

You didn’t stop thinking about the beach or the road leading even further away until he was pulling into your driveway, the car making a funny scraping sound as it pushed itself up the slight incline.

Jay sighed softly, the first noise he’d made in a long time that wasn’t covered by the radio commercials and the heat running on high with that loud rattling noise, shutting the car off completely as you both sat there in silence.

“Are you able to go home? If you need somewhere to stay I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind as long as you stayed on the couch.” You were speaking swiftly with your eyes slightly widened and he smiled at you gently even if it didn’t quite seem genuine.

“I’m alright, I’ll figure it out.” His tone held a stubborn finality that you didn’t bother trying to question again even though it hurt your heart to think about him searching for a place to stay.

You almost begged him to just come in and warm up for a bit, maybe use your phone to call some of the boys and ask them if he could go there before he just started to drive around in circles but you decided against it.

Instead you leaned far enough that the middle console was pressing against your stomach and you kissed him softly on his cheek, rubbing the clumpy fabric of his scarf before sitting back in your seat and smiling shakily as you tugged the door open and stepped back out into the cold.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Your head cocked so he understood it was a question you wanted answered and he took a few moments before he was nodding his head and starting the car again, lifting his hand off the steering wheel for a brief second in a wave as you closed the door.

——

Jay didn’t show up the next day but you still stood at the end of your driveway with your bike in your hands for twenty minutes, shifting from the cold and slight embarrassment even though nobody was around to see you left hanging.

You filled your mind with the calming thought that he was just busy and he’d show up any minute panting from rushing over here, or maybe he’d even bring his new car and you wouldn’t have to ride your bikes in the cold anymore.

You’d have a good day setting up the fair and you wouldn’t have any awkward silences about the kiss, infact maybe you’d even kiss again when he dropped you back off at home later.

The thoughts and daydreams only entertained you until half an hour had passed and now you’d officially be late so you had no choice but to flip up your kick stand with your foot and mount your bike with a deep frown.

Even then you still felt guilty about leaving incase Jay showed up late at your house and found out you had left without him.

The rational part of you knew that wasn’t going to happen and if anything he could come to the fair and just meet you there but you could tell from the first hour that he wasn’t going to and he wasn’t anywhere waiting for you to come back. He simply hadn’t shown up and you were beyond stupid for thinking otherwise all morning.

It actually hadn’t even crossed your mind that he wasn’t going to show up.

You ran through the possible scenarios, coped with the inevitable tension in the air and the chance of an extremely awkward conversation where you had to confess your newfound feelings for him.

You’d even practiced over how you were going to say it all morning as you got dressed down to the last word but not once did you think he would simply leave you there alone like a completely fool.

Jay was a lot of things, he was reserved and shut off and maybe a little bit blunt at times but he was certainly never cruel and especially not to you. Your friends seemed to agree considering how appalled they were when you stomped down the steps with wet leaves wrapped around your boots and frowned as you explained what had happened.

“Wait you kissed? You like Jay?” Heeseung seemed utterly confused and you couldn’t tell if he was playing up the surprise or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention to the obvious signs.

“Dude have you even been here? That’s not the problem, what do you mean he didn’t show up?” Sunghoon was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands cupping his face in distress.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him without asking how he felt about me first.” You ignored his question and shook your head as you slouched back into the couch, more upset with your self now than anything else.

All the boys looked around at each other in shock and the air got heavy again like it always seemed to whenever the topic of you and Jay came up. Your eyebrows furrowed into a glare and you settled it onto Jungwon who looked the most guilty, hoping he’d spill whatever it was that they weren’t saying to you.

“Jay is totally into you.” He was letting it out in one breath of air and the other boys collectively rolled their eyes and swatted at your friend. “He has been forever and we all totally make his life hell because of it.”

“Why on earth would you guys do that?” You were practically yelling now even though it was hard to stay mad at them when they all looked so guilty. “Just a few weeks ago you were trying to get me to ask out Jake Sim.”

“We were trying to get him to finally grow a pair and make a move.” Heeseung made you groan at the crude wording but despite your annoyance you actually understood the ways they were trying to help especially since it had actually worked up until you screwed it up by kissing him.

You relayed this thought to them and they looked just as stricken by the fact Jay had not followed up after your kiss as they did the first time you said it.

They did their best to cheer you up with covers of your favorites songs and less argument filled board game rounds but you couldn’t stop the hole in your heart from deepening everytime you thought about it. Your anger towards yourself slowly transferred to him instead as the night went on but even that felt wrong.

Opening night of the fair was finally happening tomorrow and you could barely feel the usual excitement, even when all the boys told you they would be coming to keep you company.

You gave them a soft smile before bidding them goodnight and you truly did appreciate what they were trying to do but it wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

That still didn’t stop you from waking up early the next morning and getting yourself ready, pinning your stray hairs back with cheap pumpkin decorated pins you’d had for a decade and pulling on the new pair of gloves you made (finished off with much neater edges than Jays had been).

The others were going to arrive any moment to accompany you so you sat on the couch finishing your hot chocolate and tapping your feet against the carpet with anticipation, doing all you could to ignore the pit in your stomach so you could still have fun and appreciate all the hard work you and the other volunteers had contributed.

Rough honking from outside made your head pick up expectantly and you set your mug on the coffee table before rushing to the window and smiling brightly when you saw all of your friends waving from inside an old car you didn’t recognize.

It wasn’t until you opened the door that you caught sight of the driver and you faltered a bit, long enough that he had stepped out onto your driveway and waved at you with a sheepish expression.

“Hey Y/N, hope it’s okay that I tag along.” Jake Sim was standing infront of your house and he apparently was one of the few people your age in town that owned a car and even worse, your friends were giving you encouraging looks behind his back.

Heeseung lost his thumbs up when you glared at him through the windshield but you made sure to smile at Jake reassuringly.

“Of course it’s okay Jake, it’s good to see you.” You tugged open the passenger seat door and tugged at Heeseung’s hoodie until he was groaning and unbuckling, squeezing into the backseat with the others and allowing you to be in the front.

You let the boys talk loudly and play their music while you sat in silence during the short drive to the field where the fair was being held, finding it harder to ignore the fact somebody was missing when all you could think about what your drive back from the beach.

Jake quietly humming wasn’t enough for you to forget how Jay kept a tight grip on the steering wheel or shifted in his seat at a red light.

The comparison of the two definitely wasn’t fair especially since you were almost positive your friends had begged Jake to give you all a ride under some faux promise that you would find it kind enough to give him a shot. He was always nice to you in school and definitely wasn’t trying anything sleazy now, instead arguing with Jungwon about the speed limits and his backseat driving.

Your heart warmed the second you were approaching the field and you could see the Ferris wheel peaking over the trees, car slowing down to allow the groups of people and large families to cross the street in front of you.

The turn out was probably the biggest you’d seen yet and even your friends were making noises of excitement as they peered out the windows and took in the rows of games and smaller kiddy rides.

“Woah this is awesome.” Jake sounded genuinely amazed from beside you and you glanced back over your shoulder to smile at him. “You guys did a great job.”

You knew he must’ve been referring to the larger group of people who volunteered but you still couldn’t help but think of all the work Jay helped do and how much he contributed this year.

“Thank you Jake.”

——

It was almost like a homecoming as you walked across the field and let the mud build up under your boots, a caramel apple in hand and the other wrapped around Heeseung as he laughed and tried his best to win your group another stuffed animal despite the fact the three boys behind you were holding two each.

“Holy shit.” You couldn’t help but be impressed when he knocked all the pins down again even though you quickly covered your mouth apologetically when the mother of a child near you sent you a sharp glare.

“Here you go madam.” He’d put on a funny proper voice as he handed you the small pink stuffed lamb and you mockingly curtsied at him as he squinted his eyes against the sun and surveyed the area. “Alright going to go attempt to brave the portapotties, wish me luck.”

“Hold your breath.” Jungwon was quick to chirp behind you and you groaned at the imagery, pulling your arm out of Heeseung’s so he could half jog over to the bathrooms and feeling a slight chill run over you at the loss of body heat.

Somebody was clearing their throat from beside you and your eyes widened a bit as you turned to see Jake standing there now, a sheepish expression on his face with his elbow angled at you invitingly. He must’ve picked up on your walking habit by now and you smiled bashfully at him before accepting his arm.

“Are you having a good time?” You started walking together as you spoke quietly, your two friends behind you talking loudly in weird voices as if they were making their animal prizes communicate.

“It’s beautiful.” He actually sounded like he meant it, tone a little breathy as he turned his gaze to the Ferris wheel and nodded appreciably. “I understand why you love it so much.”

You were actually enjoying his company despite the ache in your chest and you were glad he got to tag along with all of you, hoping you’d get the chance to see him with the boys more often including the one you were missing the most right now.

It’d been a few hours into the fair and you knew Jay could come another day by himself if he really wanted to but the thought of him missing opening day and feeling how special it was hit you harder than you wished it would and you were almost antsy for your friends to leave so you could go and mope to Cindy and ask her for some advice.

“Look who I ran into.” Heeseung sounded excited from behind you as he returned from the bathrooms and your eyebrows raised curiously, turning in unison with Jake.

Your mouth dropped open a bit when you saw Jay standing there awkwardly, hands in his pockets and a torn expression on his face that turned into one of confusion when he realized you were linking arms with Jake Sim. He didn’t say anything and neither did the others boys, not at all matching Heeseung’s enthusiasm and instead sending you glances like they weren’t sure what reaction was appropriate.

To make matters worse, Jake clearly wasn’t reading the energy and instead was nudging your side affectionately and giving Jay a wide smile.

“And you thought he wasn’t going to show up.” He didn’t know the history behind the two of you or anything that had happened so you couldn’t really fault him for his embarrassing comment, realizing now he must’ve caught wind of some of the things the boys had said about you not expecting Jay.

The comment was enough to break the tension in the air for something much worse and you watched the boy in question purse his lips and nod his head in bitter understanding, pulling a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck.

“Well this was nice but I’ve gotta go.” He didn’t wait for anybody to say any words of parting and instead he was turning on his heels and leaving.

You scoffed and removed your arm from Jakes gently, stomping away from them to follow behind Jay and trying to ignore the clueless boys confused questioning to your friends about what he had said wrong.

“You’re just going to leave?” You waited until you were closer to the barns to speak even though you were pretty sure he knew you’d been following him. “You don’t have anything you feel like you want to say to me?”

He looked surprisingly calm when he turned around to face you but your anger didn’t settle much even when you saw the hurt and lost expression he had, staring down at you and all of your fury like he thought he deserved it.

“What is there for me to say?” His voice was low and you frowned again at how defeated he seemed, how easy it was for him to end the conversation even though you felt like there was a thousand things being left unsaid. “I don’t want to interrupt your time with Jake.”

You let out a noise that was close to a laugh but without any sign of amusement, anger taking over any type of sadness or confusion you felt about the situation. He wasn’t saying it like he was at all angry at you for being around Jake but that almost made you more upset, seeing how simple it seemed for him to just walk away with no explanation.

“By my time with Jake do you mean the time I’m spending waiting for you to show up knowing you wouldn’t?” Your voice cracked a little as you took a step closer to him. “And when you finally do you’re just going to leave? I mean did the night on the beach just mean nothing to you?”

“The night on the beach?” He was now starting to show a little emotion outside of the almost cowardly demeanor he’d had, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared down at you now that you were closer. “The night you pity kissed me?”

It was almost hard to believe he’d say something like that and even harder to comprehend that he genuinely meant it, he wasn’t attempting to hurt you or being unnecessarily cruel like most people would but instead he actually was going off the notion you’d kissed him out of sympathy.

“How could you think that way?” You tried to soften your tone but you were just so upset about everything and even more so now that the fairs opening day was passing you by and going so poorly.

Jay was just looking at you and you were almost worried he was going to start crying, the pained look not going away even when you were closing the gaps between the two of you and bringing your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into it when your thumb rubbed against his skin again but he didn’t answer your question.

You could feel his hand on your lower back like he was afraid you’d back away prematurely but you had no plans to go anywhere despite being upset with him, you could see how hurt and confused he was and that trumped your own feelings that could be dealt with afterwards.

He had been a constant in your life for as long as you could understand the notion of having a friend but you felt like you were just now seeing him for the first time ever and you were almost embarrassed that you didn’t know how to help him especially since he always seemed to know what to say to you when you were upset.

“You have no idea what you are to me.” He’d lost the helplessness in his voice now that you were touching him and the pained tone was more stemming from your closeness than anything else.

There was nothing you could say to that that would properly convey how you felt about the hushed reassured confession so instead you kissed him.

He was immediate in the way he put his other hand on your back too and pulled you closer to him, turning your head and relishing in how different it felt to kiss him standing up.

Jay made a low noise when your hands moved from his face to his hair and you wanted nothing more than to pull another from him, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip seemingly doing the trick as you felt his hands squeeze your waist instinctively.

You pulled away from the kiss to try and breathe but he was immediately following after your lips and connecting them again which made you decide you didn’t at all mind continuing even if it meant replacing air with the feeling of him against you.

You didn’t even realize you were moving until your feet with tripping over his and your back was hitting what you assumed was the barn, a small laugh leaving your lips even though it was muffled by his moving against you feverishly. Jay was kissing you like he’d never get to do it again but by now you’d caught on to the fact he’d thought about this alot longer than you had.

His hand was leaving your back to stop at your knee, pulling it to the side easily so he could slot his own in between yours and press impossibly closer.

“God you’re everything.” He was breathing heavily as he spoke and you whined a bit at how low his voice had gotten, sounding similar to how it did when he’d get focused on one of their songs or scold the boys for messing around too much.

“Can you stay with me here?” Your own came out surprisingly squeakish and you flushed in embarrassment.

He was nodding softly and your hand left his hair to sit on the back of his neck for a second before you were kissing him one more time quickly, smiling a little when he took a step back after and grabbed your free hand so you’d stumble forward with him.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He said it so casually like you were just two regular people going out and he was a little tardy for a date but you figured you could talk about how the situation hurt you later and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

You were leading him back towards your friends but dropping his hand as you approached, not fully sure you wanted to deal with their teasing and quick comments. Jay was easily understanding what you were implying and he fell back into his silent nature, giving them quick head nods when they expressed excitement over him joining you.

It was beginning to look just like your regular hangouts until you all agreed to head towards the ferris wheel and suddenly Jake was turning towards you with a shy smile and his arm bent in your direction.

You couldn’t fault him for assuming you’d want to continue linking arms now that you were back but your heart clenched for a second knowing who was standing right behind you.

Jay was such a quiet and stoic person that you didn’t necessarily think he’d sit there throwing glares at any guy who tried to speak to you but you were either extremely wrong or the energy of the day had gotten to him because you could feel his arm snaking around your waist just as you turned to see the annoyed expression he had and the harsh way he was watching Jake.

All discreetness was thrown out the window at that and you watched the boy across from you purse his lips in bitter understanding before slowly pulling his arm back against his side.

“Don’t be rude.” You were whispering the scolding words in Jay’s ear but leaning against his side so he knew you were okay with the show of affection even if it had started as possessiveness.

He didn’t say anything in his typical fashion and you tried to ignore how giddy the thought of him being jealous made you. You stayed close to him as you waited in line, listening to your friends joke around as you felt his hand squeezing your side impatiently every few minutes.

It was a no brainer that you’d be sitting next to him when an empty carts started to make their way around the wheel and you smiled softly at Heeseung and Jungwon fighting over who got to sit with Jake, pushing them slightly when the working attendant started to look extra impatient.

Jay glanced at you from the side of his eye before putting a hand forward to signal you to get on first, following behind as you scooted across the metal bench and watched him close the door tightly.

“Are you scared of heights?” Your voice was teasing as you leaned against his side to looked closely at the nervous look on his face. He glared at you lightheartedly and when his eyes didn’t leave your face for a few seconds you realized he was going to kiss you right as he did.

His big hand was cupping your cheek to pull you in closer and the feeling of him moving against you was enough to override the embarrassment of kissing before the ride had even moved you out of view from the crowd.

You practically kissed the entire time your cart slightly jerked forward to allow new people onto the ones under you, slowly lifting you higher and higher as your heart raced.

Kissing Jay was a completely foreign feeling but you felt like you couldn’t stop now that you knew what it was like, finding the low noises your friend made absolutely addicting to the point they were overriding your system and everything you’ve ever thought about him. You never once considered what he would feel like this close to you or how he’d look when you pulled apart to breathe, dark eyes low and hazy and his lip reddening.

“Is this what you expected when you offered to help me paint stables?” You were grinning as you spoke and he brushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Not necessarily but a guy can dream.” He surprised you by joking back and the ride jolted alive suddenly, both of you lurching forward for a second before dissolving in a fit of laughter.

From the top of the ferris wheel you could not only see the fair and all of the work you’d put into it but you could see a large part of your small town, the gravel roads you struggled with your bike on everyday to Heeseung’s and the railroad tracks that led to the side of town you’d found Jay on the night he called you.

Off in the distance you could even make out the long stretch of road where the trees broke away and the sea inevitably began.

Jay was softly calling for your attention once your cart stopped at the very top of the ride, your hair blowing in the light wind as you turned to face him. The sun had nearly set now and he looked particularly handsome when he was lit up by the lights adorning the metal beams under you, that nervous look returning as he shifted his body to face you.

He almost looked as if he was planning to tell you something, maybe even make a speech of some sort but instead he was closing his mouth and reaching into his coat pocket to pass you a small box.

You took it from his glove covered hands and glanced up at him with wide eyes, already having a relatively good idea about what was inside the box. He raised an eyebrow at you as a way to urge you opening it and you quickly untied the soft ribbon keeping it closed, both of you keeping quiet like you were scared to ruin the moment.

Inside, surrounded by shredded wrapping paper to keep it safe, was a beautiful handmade necklace with a golden seashell at the end of the thin chain. You knew right away who had made the piece of jewelry and your eyes filled up with tears as you looked at him.

“Sorry I’m not as crafty as you but I figured I knew somebody who was.” He was trying to joke around to soften the heavy atmosphere but you could see the hesitation on his face as he waited for you to say something. “It’s the right one right? You kept looking at it the first day you brought me here.”

“It’s perfect.” Your voice was breathy and it came out as one word but you knew he understood, his shoulders losing some tension as he shifted closer to you and took the necklace from your shaky hands.

You sniffed a little bit and turned around so you could lift your hair and assist him in putting the necklace on you, getting a full view of the town around you as you did so and barely even noticing the fact the ferris wheel was beginning to move again.

All you could focus on was his cold hands on your neck and the weight of the seashell as it softly fell down in the middle of your collarbones, your heart thumping so hard you worried it woukd shift it from its place.

His apprehension was still obvious when you turned back around to show him how it looked on you but his eyes lit up at the sight of it, meeting your gaze just in time for you to lean in and kiss him again.

ANGEL EYES. — [L.MH] [PREVIEW]

❝ sometimes, it feels as if mark lee is your guardian angel ❞

SYNOPSIS: innocent cherub eyes, gently soft hands, a heart of gold, mark lee is the golden boy whose experienced as much love as he gives back. his grades are high, his smile is wide, and his laughter is sweet. the only reason mark lee gets embroiled in a world of trouble is because of his pairing with the 'messed up foster kid' in a school project. it would be stupid to ever let himself get involved, but mark does anyway.

PAIRING: mark lee x male!reader

GENRE: mid–2000s au, high school au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, humor(?), slow burn, one sided pining to mutual pining, sadness as a romantic segway, relationship study, reader is a foster kid, mark pov, happy ending.. (i suppose)

WARNINGS: swearing, explicit language, violence, drug abuse, child abuse & neglect, family issues, mentions of death, smoking, homophobia, reader simply has the worst time and mark sobs about his circumstances, an awful amount of love that isn't realized to be love

WORD COUNT: 2.7k (preview) | ..pending (full fic)

NOTES: hello everyone, this is my baby, the birth was very special, i love my baby so much 💗 listen! i started this in early august and i am STILL going, this going to be LONG.. longest mins-fins work ever long 😞 im estimating 30–40k, the power of mark lee yall 😇 it's going to go on forever, and it's definitely going to be sad in some ways, i am currently about to hit 20k words.. sooooiooooo 😊😊 i hope you like this preview bc i really dk when the real thing is coming out 😭😭 im in so much pain rn, let me nap now 😴

BEFORE IT WAS IN THE CRISP AUTUMN ATMOSPHERE, mark lee had met you at the local police station. it was only a few months prior, august of 2004 brought the prospect of donghyuck doing everything to try and get arrested, prospects that mark could only respond with under the breath swears. he loves donghyuck, he really does, but driving shouldn't have been his first choice. in all of the friendships mark has had with other people in his life, donghyuck has always brought a wave of chaos along with him, the exact opposite of who mark's mom would advise him to stay away from, but she'd always had a soft spot for him, mark can't exactly blame her.

fresh off turning seventeen and utterly clueless as to what the future would bring, mark only found himself at the police station for one reason. donghyuck had driven without a license. yep, sixteen years old and he assumed doing an illegal u-turn was the way to end his summer.

mark has always been a stand up kid. the kind who handed out his mom's cookies to the neighbors. the kind who called for stray cats in alleyways. the kind who was simply an innocent bystander to all the bullshit his friends would pull.

so when donghyuck called him from a jail phone, voice heightened in indignation as he begged for mark to come make a case for him, the older really had no choice but to do so. mark had never been to a police station before, afraid of catching sight of real criminals in the flesh by just walking past the building. he had heard too many scary stories, had terrible ideas of human beings planted in his head.

and even as a seventeen year old who had experienced life enough that such things shouldn't have terrified him anymore, there was still a small pit in his stomach as he rounded the corner in direction of the building.

"and how exactly am i supposed to bail you out?" an eyebrow raise accompanied mark's inquiry, and donghyuck scoffed as he shook his cuffed hands.

"you don't have to bail me out, my dad knows the sheriff, i'm just getting off with a warning" he whispered, sweat on his brow as he shared that familiar 'no shit' look with mark (an ironic expression really, he's the only one between the two of them that's been in cuffs).

mark snickered. "you talk so much when you're the one handcuffed".

"watch your mouth, you need me".

just as donghyuck was about to let out a swear in addition to his snappy response, said sheriff walked into the room, tight lipped smile painting his face. "don't try that again donghyuck, or next time you'll end up in a cell".

in a instant, donghyuck's blood ran cold, mark almost laughed at the sight, but he remained still, watching. the older man glanced up, catching mark's anxiety ridden eyes. "and you are?"

"this is mark, my best friend" donghyuck was quick to quip, a hand placed onto his shoulder.

mark's stomach dropped to his feet, it isn't as if he did anything wrong, it was simply on par for him to be severely anxious around law enforcement in general, he was just afraid he'd somehow get arrested for nothing at all.

"ohhh i remember you, i used to assume you two were brothers".

mark let out a breathy (and clearly faked) chuckle, trying to bury his anxiety. he could never explain it, even if you gave him all the words to, it's not like he's a bad kid, he just finds himself tensing often. "no, just friends.."

"it's good to have someone so close as support" he narrowed his eyes at donghyuck, who stifled his scoff at the clear sarcasm lacing his tone. he then scrunched his nose, watching as donghyuck placed a performative smile on his lips. "now you, sir, we need to have a talk".

donghyuck frowned, whining out complaints as he's dragged away by the sheriff. "can you wait, mark?"

mark blinked, shoving his hands into his pant pockets. he nodded, out of words. the two bantered back and forth like friends, something mark could only stare idly at. he made his way over to the seats beside the door, where, nestled in the corner of one of them, was you.

you were scribbling something into your notebook, unaware of the eyes on you. mark sat two chairs away from you, tapping his feet onto the floor as he heard the faint sounds of scoldings. safe driving, don't get into a car without a license, your future won't be any better if you continue this shit.

swearing at a child, mark found that rich. he glances beside him again, now watching you intently. you were engrossed in the manner your pen scratched against your paper, mark had figured out through endless staring that you hadn't been writing, but drawing.

you avoided his eyes for a while, ignorant to the eyes gazing you up and down. you then glanced in mark's direction, almost startling him out of his seat with the sudden stare. you blinked, puzzled out of your mind. "is there something on my face?"

mark tensed in his seat, feeling his stomach swirl, was he staring so much that you felt offended? he felt guilty immediately, his lips parting immediately and releasing a silent breath. "no.. no i'm sorry, i didn't mean to".

you shrugged your shoulders, one click to your pen. mark recognized you, but he simply couldn't conjure up an explanation as to why you were sitting in a police station at this time, drawing whatever into your notebook. "so why are you staring then?"

"i'm trying to figure out why you're here" mark muttered, fingers fiddling with his necklace as he tried to get his tone straight in fear of again offending you. "i'm sure you aren't committing crimes".

"i can say the same for you, mr golden boy".

mark's lips turned up slightly, his hands twitching from where they rested on his lips. "i got kicked out.. always come here to let dad and mom cool off for a few hours".

the words earned an eyebrow raise from mark, that was strange to hear, especially from another person in regards to their own parents. mark had never really experienced such a thing, the way you described it made his nose scrunch. "what?"

before you could respond to that one, a police officer entered the room, one you seemed to recognize by the way your eyes lit up. "come on l/n, time to go".

a frown settled onto your lips. "do i really have to go now? you know how my parents are.."

"i can't keep you here, it would technically be illegal".

"it's not like they'll care anyway.." you mumbled, slamming your notebook shut with yet another click to your pen. "just an hour longer, please?"

there was a sense of hope in your eyes, maybe he would actually take your words into account. mark simply stared, staggered by what he was witnessing. the officer watched the change of your expressions, your thumb playing at the button on your pen, continuously clicking over and over. as the clicks amplified, so did the sound of your labored breathing.

"you know i can't do that kid".

your frown deepened, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. worry, that's what mark remembered. your eyes widened, but not in the usual shock, simply in disappointment. you cursed under your breath, muttering something about your parents getting pissed at your reappearance. you stopped clicking your pen, letting the chagrin settle onto you. "yeah.."

you sucked your teeth, imitating the look of a sulky child. mark was consumed by his silence, completely confused by the situation. he didn't give a comment, simply watched the whole entire thing happen. "i'll give you a few minutes, don't worry".

you didn't respond to that one, your eyes following the police officer who strolled out the door towards his car. you bit into your lip again, hands grasping onto your notebook and thumb still pressing onto your pen. "what bullshit".

mark continued staring, his hands clutching at his thighs. you then glanced at him once more, causing for him to flinch back. you stayed silent, watching him as much as he did you a few minutes prior.

"are you alright?" he muttered, leaving his voice at a low volume. he didn't want to raise it, he wanted to keep it at a volume that kept you comfortable.

you snickered, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "fine, going home is just my worst nightmare".

mark's fingers found themselves sliding across his legs, teeth sliding against each other in back and forth motions. he blinked his big brown eyes, staring with an assured gaze he hoped would somehow make it's way to you. "i'm sorry".

he whispered those two words as if he was in physical pain, eyes watering for an inexplainable moment. he couldn't help it, and he had no idea why he couldn't help it. it was embarrassing how much he felt at the moment.

you stared back, lips pursuing. your expressions did at least seventy transformations, as if you were in disbelief at someone having empathy for you. you seemed distraught, why is he tearing up? that's so strange.

you chuckled, hoping it would quell his worries. "it's okay, not like it's your fault".

"still, you shouldn't have to feel that way about going home.. your parents shouldn't be kicking you out".

you grimaced, put off by the words. it isn't as if they were terrible, you just seemed.. astonished. why did he care? it was simply weird to you.

"well thank you for your concern but i'll be fine".

mark blinked away the tears threatening to escape his eyes, god what was wrong with him? why did he even tear up at that? he totally weirded you out.

"yeah um.. i'm sorry" mark bit into his inner cheek, letting out a heavy sigh. "just have a good day" a theatric smile placed itself on his lips, he was definitely trying to convince himself that it wasn't that bad of a situation.

you stared longer, seemingly itching to say something. there were words resting on the tip of your tongue, mark could practically sense it. "yeah, you too".

and when you stood up to walk out of the door, donghyuck coincidentally escaped the clutches of the sheriff, stumbling out of his office with his arms crossed over his chest. the door closed behind you, and mark watched the entire time.

"what took you so long?" mark uttered, eyes casting donghyuck's way.

the younger huffed in his usual donghyuck manner, hands on his hips. "he was giving me a big talk about safe driving" he placed heavy air quotes around the last two words, lips curled into a frown.

mark licked his teeth, his thoughts retracing back to you. "do you know him..?"

donghyuck blinked, his mouth opening to ask about who until he saw the way mark motioned his head. "y/n? oh yeah, he's around here all the time, the officers basically take him in whenever.."

"why?"

his voice scratched like sandpaper, donghyuck wincing at the tone. he then shrugged his shoulders, his attitude puzzled. "something about his parents not really caring, it's pretty shitty".

mark's lips parted in a freezing motion, his stomach pain only worsening. "that's scary.. feeling safer at the police station than your own home".

"i don't know much about his situation, just know his parents have a terrible temper".

mark swallowed the lump in his throat, his head beginning to pound at the information given. he tried to distract himself by thinking about school coming up soon, but he was snapped back into reality by donghyuck.

"why are you even asking me about y/n?"

mark glanced up at his childhood friend, a small whisper in his mind telling him to lie. "just curious that's all".

the lie laid bitter on his tongue, but he didn't allow for donghyuck to dwell on it, rising from the chair he's practically glued himself to. "promise me you'll never illegally drive again, the officers here look like they wanna kill me".

donghyuck rolled his eyes, tease evident in his attitude. "okay markie, promise".

mark pushed his shoulder in retaliation.

that? that was two months ago.

before the crisp autumn weather drifted through the atmosphere, before the leaves began falling to decorate the ground in orange and brown hues, mark lee had met you at the local police station. your legs crossed, pen clicking, and nose buried into your notebook.

september came and went rather quickly, the scorching heat of the summer air transforming into the russet autumn scenery which drifts into october. the temperature steadily dropping, sweaters becoming more and more common in his closet, mark can't exactly focus in class during the first few months of school.

when mark hears his name fall from his teacher's lips in pair with yours, he snaps out of an episode of disassociation, blinking up. "what?"

his teacher deadpanned, readjusting her glasses. she doesn't even seem surprised by his lack of focus anymore, his exhaustion is constantly evident. "project partners mark, you'll be paired with y/n".

mark only parts his lips in response, the words rendering him speechless. he glances around the classroom as he listens to the older woman's voice blurs into the background, catching sight of you in the far back, again scribbling into your notebook, your manner reminiscent of how you acted the first time you two met.

he stares for a while before again looking forward, his mouth going dry as he tries again to focus, but of course, he can't. his mind stays focused on you throughout the whole class, even after the endless words he lets blur away.

you spin your pen between your fingers, it's the same pen you had that day, maybe you have some sort of attachment to it or something, maybe it's your favorite pen, maybe someone special gifted that pen to you.

maybe mark's letting it all get to his head, why is he even making assumptions when he hasn't walked up to you yet?

while everyone else rushes to leave the class, mark rises from his seat and again glances over at you, slinging his back over his shoulder.

you're riveted by what you're doing in your notebook, so absorbed that you barely hear the shuffling footsteps making their way around the many desks towards yours. your lips turn down as you smudge the ink on the page, a small suck of the teeth adding to your frustration.

"um.. hi" mark whispers, watching as you glance up and pause, one click to your pen. you don't respond immediately, studying mark for a while, and mark tenses up under your gaze, sucking a breath between his teeth.

"hi".

"we uh— were partners for the project".

your smile is neutral. "i know".

mark began biting the skin off his lips, hands gripping at his backpack. "i don't know where you want to start, uh.. maybe we could go to the library?"

he's just saying what he's hoping will work. he doesn't exactly know you yet, he assumes your one off interaction at the police station left a sour taste in your mouth.

but unbeknownst to mark's anxious inner voice, you smile, not exactly a neutral one this time, a much better smile ('better' in terms of expression, your lips stretch into an aspect of satisfaction).

"that'd be nice".

mark nods, almost too enthusiastically he thinks. how embarrassing. you let out a silent yawn, oblivious to the battle mark is having in his head. "tomorrow maybe we can start?"

your smile again becomes neutral, but at least mark doesn't think you want to kill him. "yeah, tomorrow is fine".

tomorrow. tomorrow is fine.

"okay, have a good day y/n".

mark rushes out of the classroom much too fast, he feels a little terrified of you. maybe you don't exactly want to kill him, maybe you just look at everyone else in that way, maybe it won't be that bad to be paired with you.

still, mark isn't sure why his mind tells him he should stay away from you.

TRY HARD

SUMMARY: Need to get rid of some junk? Well these college hunks will haul YOUR junk! Give us a call at xxx-xxx-JUNK and we’ll haul YOUR junk for FREE! (limited time offer)

GENRE: smut, crack, fluff, minimal angst

PAIRING: Lee Juyeon x afab!reader (ft. sangyeon, sunwoo, and chanhee)

WC: 8.7k (oops)

SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST: @winterchimez @juyeonszn

18+ MDNI AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

WARNINGS: name calling (reader calls Juyeon stripper boy, baby, and pretty boy. Juyeon calls reader pretty girl), swearing, mentions of college parties, Y/N roasts Juyeon like a lot, Juyeon stops a door with his foot, one bed trope (for like two seconds), sunwoo slander (learning from Fawn <3) Juyeon is not god's strongest soldier, masturbation (m and kinda f), p in v sex, implied unprotected sex, restraints are used, dom!reader kinda, bratty!Juyo kinda, really poor attempts at humor, i think there's more but that covers the big stuff

A/N: This was NOT supposed to be almost 9k. It was supposed to be 3k at MOST but i will not lie i will prolly end up doing this again for most of the fics I'm putting out for this collab oops. Anywayyyyy let's kick off the collab with arguably my funniest fic.

The first time you meet Lee Juyeon, you’re dressed in sleep shorts and the biggest sweatshirt in your closet. He’s standing at your door, and for a moment you can’t help but be confused by the fact that yes, there is a hot man in a white tank top and cargo pants leaning against your doorframe. And yes, he is, in fact, there for you and not the girls living down the hall from you. 

And, to be fair, it wasn’t your fault that you thought he was a stripper. Really, it wasn’t. It’s not every day that you see a guy with a body to die for and the face of an angel. 

“Are you some sort of stripper?” For a moment, the two of you are quiet. There’s a look of pure astonishment on his face that eventually turns into him fighting back a grin. 

“Do you want me to be?” His tongue brushes over his lower lip while he scans you up and down and you scoff. 

“No. The girls you’re probably looking for are down the hall, the last door on the right.” You begin to shut the door. “Have fun.” 

“Wait!” His foot catches in the door before you can slam it shut and you hear him swear loudly. “Shit, that did not feel good.” 

“Are you fucking stupid?” You swing the door open again, scowling at him. “Why would you try to catch this heavy ass door with your foot?” 

“I thought it would look cool!” He winces, one hand gripping your door frame and the other cradling his aching foot. “Like in the movies!”

“I don’t know if you know this…” you trail off, squinting at him and realizing you have no idea who this man is. “Stripper boy,—”

“Juyeon,” you can practically hear his teeth grinding as he speaks. You hum.

“Stripper boy,” you bob your head. “That’s what I’m gonna call you.”

“Please don’t—”

“Anyway,” you interrupt again. “I don’t know if you know this, but romance movies are fictional. Of course, it’s not gonna look like the prop door and they’re gonna catch it like it’s nothing. This, however,” you hit your fist against your door, “is solid metal. Not gonna feel good when you catch this shit, dumbass.”

“Whatever,” Juyeon rolls his eyes and straightens his body out. “I was just making my rounds across campus, wanted to see if you’d be interested in supporting your local fraternity.”

You raise an eyebrow, reaching your hand out to take the flier from his hand. 

College Hunks Hauling Junk!

Need to get rid of some junk? Well, these college hunks will haul YOUR junk! Give us a call at xxx-xxx-JUNK and we’ll haul YOUR junk for FREE! (limited-time offer)

Scan HERE to book your appointment!

“College hunks hauling junk,” you can’t help but laugh at the name and take the flier from Juyeon’s hands. He grins at you. “People are actually paying you guys to haul their shit away?” 

He shrugs. “It’s free, technically. You’re allowed to donate, but we’re really just doing it for free. You know, help out fellow students and spread the word.” 

“You sure it wouldn’t be easier to just do some stripping if you can’t pay the rent?” You ask. “Also, what do you mean spread the word?” 

“I’m glad you asked.” Juyeon points a finger at the bottom of the flier, completely disregarding the first part of your sentence. Fuck, his hands are big.

This ad also doubles as your invitation to Tau Beta Zeta’s parties for the rest of the semester. Cash this in at any time and get into ANY parties for free! (Code word will be given at the time of flier being cashed in) (Girls get in for free, Guys $5 @ the door)

“We’re having a little competition with the sorority down the road from us,” Juyeon explains. “Whoever has more people by the end of the semester gets to host the end-of-the-year party and the other frat or sorority has to buy food and drinks.” 

You stare at the paper for a second, pondering your options. Then you smile, look up at the man that you are still pretty damn sure is a stripper, and hand back the flier. 

“I’m good, thanks.”

The door shuts, and you turn to go back to bed. The sound of paper sliding across the ground stops you, and you can see in the faint light that streams under your door that Juyeon slipped the flier into your room. 

Fucking try hard.

The second time you see Lee Juyeon, he’s handing out fliers again. Only he isn’t walking around random apartment buildings with a weird seductive look that you honestly don’t doubt was working. This time, he’s in a hoodie and jeans and walking around the center of campus with people that you can only assume are his frat brothers. 

At first, you almost don’t recognize him, but then his eyes meet yours, and you can see the corners wrinkle when he smiles. Again, you’re confused. Is he smiling at you? 

Your head whips around, trying to find someone around you that he might be looking at, and when you turn around again, Juyeon is approaching you.

“Have you thought about it, pretty girl?” He asked and you stared at him dumbly for a moment. Did he just call you pretty girl? 

“Thought about what?” He holds up that flier again, placing it in your hands similarly to the other night. “Oh.”

“Did you think I was kidding?” He leans down slightly, keeping eye contact. Your free hand places itself on his chest— which you hadn’t realized before was very solid— and pushes him back. He barely moves. In fact, you are the one who gets pushed back. 

“Listen, stripper boy—”

“Juyeon—” 

“Stripper boy,” you mimic the exasperated tone he uses with you. “If I wanted an invitation to a stereotypical frat party with a bunch of drunk 20-somethings and cheap beer and bad pizza and try-hard men like yourself, I would’ve gone by now.” You fold up the flier, smoothing out the edges before holding it out to him. He doesn’t take it, and you can see the gears turning in his brain. 

“So what you’re saying,” he starts to smile and steps toward you again.”

“Stripper boy,” you warn.

“…is that there’s a chance?”

“Absolutely not, there is not a chance in hell that I’m gonna call some college hunks to haul junk out of my college apartment that I can barely afford to live in let alone pay you to take things out of.” Juyeon shrugs.

“Like I said, payment is optional and can come in…” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, “many different forms, pretty girl.”

“That’s gross, stripper boy.” You scrunch up your nose and he laughs. “Also, why are you calling me that?”

“Calling you what?” his smile only grows and you huff. 

“Pretty girl.”

“Because you are a pretty girl.” 

“No, I’m—” You catch yourself in the sentence when he leans forward onto the tips of his toes, ready to stop you. “You know what, fuck you. I know that was a dirty little trick and I’m not gonna fall for it just so you can swoop in and say something like oh nooo, don’t say that about yourself! You’re so pretty! And then you’ll tuck my hair behind my ear and you’ll try to kiss me and then—” You stop yourself again. Juyeon’s smile is almost scary at this point, stretching all the way across his face as if this had been his plan all along and you walked right into it. 

“And then…?” He teases. 

“…fuck you and your frat, stripper boy. God, you guys are such try-hards.”

You hold onto the flier this time, whether too embarrassed to give it back or genuine curiosity, you aren’t sure. You do know that you can’t stop the pounding in your chest, or the heat rising in your cheeks. 

“Who was that?” Sunwoo slings an arm over Juyeon’s shoulder, both men watching you walk away with the flier held tightly in your hand. Juyeon smiles. 

“Just someone I know.” 

“Didn’t look like she was too happy to see you.” Sunwoo snickers and drops his arm down to stand straight. Juyeon turns to the younger man, the smile he had when standing with you now gone and replaced with a permanent scowl. 

“Who even asked you, Sunwoo?”

The younger raises his hands in defense. “I’m just saying! It looked like she hated you. Oooh, maybe you’re finally gonna get that enemies-to-lovers arc that Eric is always— WHOA, HEY—” Sunwoo nearly trips over himself trying to get away from Juyeon as the older frat brother swings his arm out in his direction. “Don’t hurt this pretty face! How else is the soccer team gonna get their funds?” A hand in the shape of a finger gun finds its way under Sunwoo’s chin, and the star soccer player smirks. 

“I think they’ll manage,” Juyeon swings his arm out again, wincing when Sunwoo lets out an ear-piercing squeal. 

It’s like you’re seeing him everywhere. Every class you go to, it’s like he’s always there handing out fliers or chatting with his friends. And, unfortunately, every time you see him, he sees you too. He animatedly waves at you, calling your name or running over to you. Every time, you somehow end up with another flier to add to your collection.

For weeks you’ve been seeing him in places that you swear you’d never seen him in before. You swear that he’s not in your environmental course. You swear that he’s not in your sociology course. He just has to be following you. 

That, or you just have shitty luck with Lee Juyeon.

It must be bad luck, you think as you watch the fire department evacuate your flooded building. It must be, you tell yourself as you stand there in the pouring rain in pajama shorts and a sweater, sans an umbrella. There’s nothing else it could be.

Your eyes narrow at the sight of Juyeon standing near a group of girls with those damned fliers in one hand and some umbrellas around the wrist of the other. Your hands tighten around your arms, body shaking from the cold of the rain. Your lips twist into a deep frown when he approaches you, his eyebrows knit together and his lips pursed at the sight of you. His mouth opens to say something, and you hold your hand up to stop him. 

“Save it, stripper boy. I don’t want your fucking spiel right now.” His shoulders slump a little.

“I was just going to ask if you wanted an umbrella.” He holds one out, the last one on his arm. “You have to be freezing right now, and you’re absolutely soaked.” Your hand wraps around the umbrella, your eyes still narrowed with suspicion.

“Thanks…” he smiles and backs up to give you space to open it. You would never admit to his face that he was right. That you were freezing your ass off in this godforsaken weather. 

“Are you okay?” You look up at him, sniff, and shrug.

“I mean, my home is currently flooding which leaves me homeless for at least a few days. It’s piss-pouring rain out here, I’m in my pajamas with all my clothing inside the flooded building, and now here you are probably trying to get me to buy from your stupid fundraiser thing.” You take a deep breath, finally looking him in the eye. “So no, I don’t think I’m okay, Juyeon. Thanks for asking.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then a small smile breaks onto his face.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve called me Juyeon.” You bite your tongue and turn to walk away from him. “Wait, fuck, Y/N it was a joke. I’m sorry.” He grabs your arm, pulling you back to him. You can see a little bit of panic in his gaze. 

“Yeah, well it was a shitty joke.” You scoff. 

“I know, poor taste, I was just trying to lighten the mood.” He pulls his hand from your arm, and you almost feel bad. It’s quiet between you two, and you think that this is the first time it’s ever been completely silent. Well, save for the chatter of other tenants and incoming sirens and the yells of officers. 

“This fucking sucks,” you grumble, and Juyeon huffs out a laugh.

“Do you have anywhere that you go?” 

You shake your head. “Nah, none of my friends have space for another person in their apartment or dorm.” 

“You could stay with me.” He says it so fast, so suddenly, that you thought you misheard him at first. 

“Excuse me?” Juyeon clears his throat, his cheeks and ears flushing and you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or embarrassment. 

“I— I mean you— I’m just—” he stumbles over his words and you smile. 

“Is the Lee Juyeon embarrassed right now? In front of little ol’ me, nonetheless?” 

“I’m not embarrassed,” he snaps, pressing the back of one of his hands to his neck in a poor attempt to cool himself down. “I’m just— I—”

“Juyeon,” your hand comes up to his arm and he flinches. You let your arm drop down to your side. “Are you trying to ask me to stay with you while the building is being repaired?” 

You’re smiling at him, and it’s like that tiny action brings back all of his previous confidence. He’s smirking again, leaning down under the tiny umbrella he gave you. It’s your turn to blush now, but your eyes don’t leave his.

“Because,” your voice nearly betrays you. “That would be a little…odd…wouldn’t it? A girl living with, what, ten men? People would talk.” He hums.

“But they would also find it odd if I just…left you to live in your car for god knows how long, wouldn’t they?” His hand is on your waist, and the breath in your lungs hitches. 

“That’s true…” you hum and pull away from him. “I don’t have any clothes, though. I’d need to find some before doing anything.” Juyeon clicks his tongue and leans back, a thoughtful look taking over the previous…you don’t even know what to call what you were doing. Was he flirting with you? Were you flirting with him?

“That’s true,” he nods his head. “We can grab some from the store tomorrow? And for now, you can borrow some of my stuff— I mean, if you’re comfortable with that.” He stumbles over his words again, and you can’t help but laugh. “Kevin’s clothes might fit you better but— you’re laughing. Why are— why are you laughing at me.”

“You’re just—” You break into another fit of giggles, covering your mouth with your hand to try and muffle the noise. “God, you’re so dumb.”

“How am I dumb?” Juyeon pouts at you, and you know he just wants you to be comfortable. 

“Never mind,” you wave him off, “let’s just get going. I’m tired and wet.” Juyeon raises an eyebrow, and you roll your eyes. “Not like that, stripper boy.” 

“I know,” he grins at you and tugs you by the sleeve to get you to start walking. “I just wanted to mess with you a little bit.”

“Seems like that’s all you do.” You roll your eyes. “And please tell me you drove here. I am not walking to the house in shorts and slippers.” Juyeon clicks his tongue. 

“As if I would walk anywhere in this weather.” He reaches into his pocket and you hear the click of a button, and then the lights of a car in front of you light up. He jogs forward, grabbing the handle of the passenger side door for you with a bright smile on his face. “After you, m’lady.”

“What a gentleman,” you shut the umbrella and duck into the vehicle. 

“Only for you, pretty girl.” He winks at you and shuts the door.

Juyeon is quiet when you exit his bathroom. Your hair is wrapped in a towel, your body swamped in Juyeon’s clothes. He’s lying flat on his back on his mattress, his legs dangling off the edge and his fingers drumming on his stomach. Your feet shuffle against the ground, the fabric of his sweatpants covering your feet entirely and dragging behind you. His t-shirt is almost like a dress on you, hanging down to your thighs and the sleeves baggy along your arms where it would be formfitting on him. 

“Where should I put these?” Juyeon lifts his head, and you hear a sharp inhale. He’s staring at you, and the gaze is heavy with something you can’t place. 

“You—” his voice cracks and he sits up fully, resting his elbows on his knees. “You can just toss them in the basket next to you. I’ll— I’ll wash it tomorrow.” You hum, doing as he says and tossing your clothing into the basket. 

His room is…weirdly clean. At least, it’s cleaner than you expected it to be for a frat boy. There’s a bit of laundry scattered across the room, sure, but you don’t feel gross just standing there. The floor is clean, the bed is made. 

The bed.

The one bed in the room. 

“Where— where should I set up a spot to sleep?” You wring your hands behind your back.

“What?” Juyeon stares at you dumbly, his eyes blank and jaw dropped slightly. If you look closely, you swear you can see a puddle of drool on the floor in front of him. Unintentionally, you snort and immediately slap a hand over your mouth. 

“I just— I mean this is your room, stripper boy.” You shrug, trying to keep the air as light as possible. “Where should I set up camp for the next three days?”

“You are not sleeping on the floor.” Juyeon shakes his head and pushes off the edge of his bed.

“Then where am I gonna sleep?” 

“The bed?” He says it as if it’s obvious. “The fuck? You really thought I was gonna make you sleep on the floor?” 

“Stripper boy, I am not sleeping in your bed.” You click your tongue.

“Yes, you are, pretty girl.” He takes a step toward you. “I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor! First of all, you’re a guest. Second of all, I’m a gentleman. Third of all, I’m—” he cuts himself short again and you raise an eyebrow.

“Well, then I’ll sleep on the couch downstairs. That’ll solve it.” You move to the door, but he grabs your upper arm and pulls you toward him. “Dude, you have got to stop grabbing me like that. It’s kind of annoying.”

“Sorry.” He exhales and lets go of your arm, brushing his hand across the skin he grabbed as if to soothe it. It sends sparks of heat through your arm, and you fight back a shiver. “I just— what if we share my bed?” 

You stare at him for a moment.

Then another.

And then another.

And then Juyeon is wincing and stepping away from you. 

“I was just— that was stupid. I’m sorry.”

“I mean…” you purse your lips. “If it solves the problem, then sure.” 

“Wait seriously?” His eyes bug out of his head and you laugh. “You’re comfortable with that?” 

“Stripper boy, if you thought I was gonna kick you out of your bed, then you have a whole new thing coming.” He rolls his eyes. “We can just…I dunno. Put pillows between us?” 

“Yeah, that works. That works just fine.” He sighs heavily. Just fine. He’s gonna be just fine these next few days.

Juyeon realizes very quickly that it will not, in fact, be fine. He realizes this when he wakes up in the middle of the night, the pillows between the two of you thrown to the edge of the bed and your body wrapped around his like a vice. One of your legs is hooked around his, the other strewn across his hip to lock him down. You have one arm tucked under his, holding his shoulder while your free arm has slipped around his waist, under his shirt so your fingers are splayed across his abdomen. Your head is seemingly strategically placed on his chest, and he can feel every breath you release. He can feel every pulse of your heartbeat against his leg—

Wait.

…

Oh, this arrangement is not going to be good for his heart. 

He tries desperately to shift away from you, to gently pry you off of him, anything to get the pounding in his chest to go away. Anything to stop the blood from rushing to his dick like some goddamn virgin. It’s a normal thing. It’s not something to get fucking hard over, Lee Juyeon. Pull yourself together.

It feels like ages before he’s able to pull himself free, nearly falling out of his bed to get away from you. He freezes in place when he hears you shift, a quiet moan leaving you when your sleeping self finds the spot Juyeon once lay frozen is now empty. His heart is pounding, his feet padding quickly against the floor to get to his bathroom. He’s quick to shut the door, cringing at the squeak of the hinges. Gotta get those fixed, he notes. For future reference, of course.

He’s hard in his sweats, his dick straining against the fabric, and his body feels like it’s on fire. Juyeon leans against the counter, tapping his foot anxiously while he stares at himself in the mirror. His cheeks are flushed, his hair a mess, and his pupils are blown out. He grips the marble counter, squeezing his eyes shut and praying to god that he softens soon because he cannot and will not jerk off to you. Not when you’re right there, one thin wall over. 

Thinking that was a mistake. His dick twitches in his pants at the thought of you waking up and finding him in the bathroom, cock in hand, and frantically trying to rub one out. 

Oh, he’s so fucked, he squeezes his eyes shut as he shoves his sweatpants down just enough to be able to grab himself. Just enough for him to spring free and let the cold air wash over him. 

Juyeon is completely, royally fucked, and he knows it as he spits on his hand. He knows it when he wraps his hand around his cock. Juyeon knows it when his body shudders from the first pump of his hand, the brush of his thumb across his tip. He knows it when he fights the whine trying to erupt from his throat. 

He knows it when he cums in his hand, ropes of white covering his palm when he places his hand over his tip to minimize the mess. He knows it when all he thought about was you. You and your pretty face. You who calls him stripper boy, who hasn't hesitated to shoot him down every chance you get. You who he’s pretty damn sure is into him in the same way he’s into you.

It’s hard for Juyeon to get back in his bed and lie down next to you knowing that just a few minutes ago he came in his hand to the thought of you. It’s even harder for him to fall back to sleep when you wrap yourself around him again, relaxing against his body and releasing a contented sigh. He tries so, so hard to relax with you, to steady his pounding heart. 

God, he’s so fucked.

"When did you get here?” There’s a boy— a man, really— standing at the counter when you and Juyeon walk into the kitchen in the morning. The man is holding a ceramic Garfield mug that you assume is filled with coffee, and he’s got his phone in his free hand. You give him a short wave, and he nods back at you. 

Juyeon had been odd the whole morning. Or, at least, the two hours you had been awake and the one hour since he’d woken up and immediately rolled to his feet to get away from you. Something about morning wood. Since then, he’d been keeping a healthy distance from you, flinching away from your touch and giving short responses to your questions and statements. It makes you nervous. Were you intruding? Did he regret asking you to stay? 

“Last night,” Juyeon answers for you, leading you to the bar counter and pulling out a chair for you to sit in. “Y/N, this is Sangyeon. He’s the Tau Beta Zeta president. Sangyeon, this is Y/N. She’s gonna be staying with us for the next couple of days.” 

Sangyeon squints at you, gnawing at his lip in thought. 

“And you guys are…what? Friends? Lovers? Fuck buddies?” You scoff and Juyeon whips his head around, nearly spilling coffee onto his hand. 

“None of the above,” you wave your hand and almost miss the flash of emotion in Juyeon’s eyes. “Just someone who needed a hand, and strip- Juyeon happened to be there.” Sangyeon turns to Juyeon with an inquisitive look on his face. Juyeon shakes his head and turns back to you with two mugs in his hand. 

“I didn’t know how you take your coffee so I just threw some cream and a bit of sugar in there.” The mug he slides over to you is shaped like a ladybug, and you can’t help the laugh that escapes you at the sight of his mug. Normal, compared to yours. Just plain white with text that says ‘Stupid people shouldn’t breed!’. “What’s so funny?”

“Just the…interesting arrangement of mugs you all have here.” You smile at Juyeon, but he just scoffs. Sangyeon excuses himself and pats Juyeon on the shoulder before making his exit up the stairs.

“I’ll have you know that I picked these all out.” He defends, but you can see the embarrassment in the flush of his cheeks, the dark color spreading to the tips of his ears. “You got a problem with them?”

“No, no,” you smile into your mug and take a sip. It’s bitter, and a bit watered down, but you’re grateful for the caffeine boost. “It’s cute, really. You made some great choices, stripper boy.” 

“That sounded sarcastic,” Juyeon pouts at you and you shake your head.

“It wasn’t!” You reassure him, leaning your torso onto the counter. Juyeon stands near you now, on the shorter edge of the counter and he scoffs. 

“Sure it wasn’t. Because you’re the most supportive person in the world of my decisions.” He turns away from you, staring at the magnetic words on the refrigerator instead of at you and you rise from your seat to stand by his side. 

“Juyooo,” your voice is sing-song in tone and Juyeon fights every instinct inside of him that screams to pin you to the counter and fuck you senseless. “Are you mad at me?” 

“Of course I am,” he rolls his eyes and tilts his chin up when you come to stand in front of him. 

“Why?” You frown, but the corners of your lips fight to turn up.

“You made fun of me!” 

“Yeah, but it was all in good fun!” You protest. “I think your choice of mugs was cute!”

“No you don’t,” he scoffs and crosses his arms. “You think they’re stupid.” 

“No,” you shake your head. “I think they’re adorable.”

“Bullshit,” Juyeon says. “You think they’re stupid.”

“I do not.” You groan. 

“You do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do no—” 

Juyeon’s lips are on yours, and you let out a startled gasp, your hand flying up and finding purchase on his chest. 

You try to push him off, you really do! You think about it, you tell your body to push him off, and then somehow you end up pulling him closer, allowing your eyes to slip closed. Isn’t it so weird how that happens?

Your hand is holding his shirt tightly, keeping him close to you while your lips mesh in a sloppy kiss. His lips are rough against yours, his teeth nipping at your lower lip and then his tongue slips out and soothes the bites. The repeated actions have your legs trembling, your breathing becoming shaky, and your hand that isn’t in his shirt rises to the back of his neck to tangle in his hair and pull him impossibly closer to you.

His hands are all over you. They run up and down your waist, brushing under the waistband of the sweatpants he lent you, pushing into your back to keep you close to him. They run under your shirt, grazing the underside of your shirt, and he smiles when he feels you exhale shakily against him. 

You hesitantly, and ever so slowly, push your tongue out, letting it run across his lower lip and you’re a bit too pleased when he opens up for you immediately. He lets you push your tongue into his mouth, lets you explore, and is ever so patient with your hesitance. 

Gently, oh so gently, he sucks on your tongue while you try to pull it back into your mouth and you release the tiniest, almost inaudible whine. 

Apparently, to your complete dismay, this snaps Juyeon back into reality and he pulls away from you. He pulls away quickly, almost stumbling back and into some of the bar stools. You’re standing there, almost in a daze, and both of you just stare at each other for a moment. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you, and Juyeon can tell that you’re regretting what the two of you just did. 

And it hurts. It really hurts when you open your mouth, going to speak and nothing comes out. He smiles sadly. 

“I should find a way to get to the store. You’re gonna need some clothes for the next few days.”

“Juyeon, wait—” You reach for him, but he just shakes his head.

“It’s fine, pretty girl.” He reassures you, but his voice breaks and betrays him. “No hard feelings. Let’s just forget it happened.”

“I don’t want to forget that!” You protest, but Juyeon just shakes his head.

“Like I said, pretty girl,” He grabs his mug and smiles at you. There’s no emotion behind it, at least not one that you want to recognize. “We gotta get you some clothes for the next three days.”

It’s infuriating how quickly he seems to move on. Three days pass by, and not once has he even hinted about talking about what happened. It was almost like he’d forgotten about it entirely.

Which, to your dismay, was exactly what he wanted you to do. It wasn’t as if you regretted the kiss, at least not in the way he thought. The regret that you knew you had let slip was from pulling away in the first place. You had only meant to come up for air, knowing that you would likely drown in him had you given yourself the chance. Now, due to your own stupid mistakes, the tables have turned for you. 

He’d been avoiding you since you moved back into your apartment two days ago. He’d avoided you in the classes you were now all too aware that you shared. It stung that he no longer sought you out, no longer yelled your name from across the room, and drew unwanted attention to you. He no longer pressured you to call the number on that damn flier that sat untouched on your desk.

“You could always just, I dunno,” Chanhee is lying on your bed, scrolling on his phone while you rant about his frat brother. “Call the number? I’m pretty sure it’s his number anyway.” 

“Wait seriously?” You spin around in your desk chair, turning away from the project you two are supposed to be working on together. 

“Yeah, it just happened to be really convenient that the last four digits of his phone number spelled junk. What do you think of this?” He flips his phone around to show you a coat. A black trench coat, nothing too fancy about it. 

“Eh. You have plenty of those, don’t you?”

“True.” He nods and lays back down.

“Should I really call him?” You lean your head back on your chair, lacing your fingers together on your lap. “What if he hates me, Chanhee?”

“Trust me, Y/N,” Chanhee exhales heavily, “that man does not hate you.”

“But how do you know that?” You ask. “If he told you that, he could be lying to you!”

“Girl,” Chanhee throws his phone down onto your mattress and sits up straight. “If a man hates you, he is not going to jack off at 3 in the goddamn morning— with his frat brothers in the other room that connects to his bathroom, mind you— to the thought of you. Trust me. He doesn’t hate you.”

“You don’t— I’m sorry, what?” Your eyes are bugging out of your head and Chanhee grimaces in a way that tells you that he was not supposed to tell you that. 

“Oops…” 

“What do you mean he— Chanhee, what are you talking about?” Chanhee is already rising from your bed, grabbing his laptop, and sliding his shoes on.

“I think it’s time for me to get out of here,” he tells you with a tight smile on his face. He comes toward you though, holding the flier in his hand. “But, I really think you should call this number. Could really help you both, I think.” 

When the door shuts behind your classmate, you sit in silence for a moment. A few moments, really, just holding the first flier that Juyeon ever gave you in your hand. There’s a little bit of water damage from the flooding, but the number in the middle of the page is still there. It’s almost ironic that Juyeon’s phone number is the only part of the advertisement that isn’t ruined, like something was telling you that you needed to call Juyeon. 

Your phone rings once, then twice, and you hear the line click on the other side.

“Thank you for calling College Hunks, what junk can we haul for you today?”

It takes Juyeon a little over an hour to get to your apartment. By that point, you’d gathered anything that you didn’t want into trash bags and set them in your living room. Each bag is organized to an extent. Things to be recycled, to be donated, or just thrown away. Most of the items that needed to be thrown away were damaged when your apartment building flooded, each damaged beyond repair. Almost like fate, isn’t it?

There’s a knock on your door. One, two, three. Your hands are shaking a bit when you grab the door handle. One, two, th—

You practically rip the door open before Juyeon can finish knocking. He’s standing there, wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. The outfit he’s wearing is the same as the day he first showed up at your door. White tank top, cargo pants, and some worn-out sneakers. For once, his hair isn’t styled. He’s parted it down the middle, a little bit of gel used to keep it from falling into his face too much. 

“Hi,” you breathe out. It’s like Juyeon is stuck in a trance, his hand still frozen mid-knock and his mouth opening and closing like a damn fish. “You— do you want to come in?” Juyeon blinks. 

“Uh…yeah, yeah sure.” You step to the side, allowing him to walk into your apartment. It’s awkward, to say the least. When you shut your door, the click makes both of you flinch and suddenly you’ve forgotten everything that you wanted to say to him. 

“Is this—” Juyeon’s voice cracks a little bit, and he turns to face you but he doesn’t look you in the eye. “Is this everything?” 

“Yeah,” you nod, “yeah it is. Needed to get rid of some stuff after the building flooded, you know?” You laugh, but he doesn’t and you’re quick to shut your mouth. Say something, dammit. Anything. Your mind is screaming, whether at you or Juyeon you aren’t entirely sure. “Juyeon, can we ta—” 

“I should get started then,” he cuts you off and you grimace. “Got a couple of appointments today, so I can’t linger for long.”

“Right…” your voice trails off. “Yeah, I’ll get out of your way then.”

Plan A is a bust, then. 

Juyeon moves quickly. You don’t know if it’s work ethic or if he wants to get away from you as fast as possible, but it stings. You don’t say anything to each other the whole time, not that you staying in your bedroom the whole time did anything to help the situation. You can hear him moving around, carrying bag after bag down to his car, but not once does he come to talk to you. Not even about the junk he’s carrying out. 

Your forehead is against your desk, your eyes shut tightly as you try to block out the noise, knowing that he’ll be carrying out the last bag soon. The sound of your feet tapping on the ground is almost enough to drown out Juyeon, but not quite enough to drown out the knocking at your bedroom door. 

Your head snaps up, and you spin around to face Juyeon. 

“Hi,” he gives you a tight smile. “I just— I brought out the last bag so I guess— I guess I should go, huh?” 

Don’t, you want to tell him, don’t leave yet.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You stand up and clear your throat. “Here, what’s your Venmo? I can send you some money.”

Juyeon shakes his head. “I already told you that you don’t have to pay me.” 

“Yeah, you did,” you agree. “But I’d feel bad if I let you leave empty-handed.” 

“I’m not leaving emptyhanded, though!” He argues. “I have your junk! Which, surprisingly, all fit into the trunk of my car.”

“Go you,” you cheer halfheartedly. “That’s not gonna stop me from paying you.”

“Pretty girl,” he warns. “I’m not gonna let you pay me.”

“Then I’ll get Chanhee to tell me your Venmo.” You grin and Juyeon rolls his eyes. 

“You’re not gonna let this go, will you?”

“Nope,” you let the sound of the p pop when you say it and Juyeon lets out a dry laugh.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that right?” 

“That’s the plan.” you look at him, and this time he’s looking right back at you. The awkward air has cleared, and it almost feels normal. Like it was prior to the kiss. God, please let Plan B work. “Are you gonna tell me what your account is, or am I gonna have to find some other way to pay you?” 

There’s a spark of something in Juyeon’s eyes, and his eyebrows knit together. Please get it, please get it, please get it. C’mon Juyeon, don’t be dense.

“Some other way?” He echoes, and you mentally cheer when he steps toward you. 

“Mhm!” You bob your head. “Like you said, there are other ways to pay you, aren’t there?” 

He’s right in front of you now, and you swear you see him start to reach for you before he’s forcing his hands back down to his sides. 

“You’re not—” he inhales and squeezes his eyes shut. “Please tell me I’m not misinterpreting this.” 

“Depends on what you think I’m saying.” You smirk, and Juyeon starts to lean down, his eyes flitting from your eyes to your lips. 

“What I think you’re offering,” he speaks slowly and you can feel his breath on your lips. “Is not exactly…appropriate, pretty girl.”

“And I think you’re right.” You’re practically whispering, every movement from your mouth causes your lips to brush against his and you’re so close to caving and just yanking him down to crush his lips against yours. 

Thankfully, Juyeon moves fast and he’s grabbing you by the waist to yank you to him and your hands are in his hair by the time his lips are on your. 

This kiss is heavier than the first. It’s messier and sloppier and his tongue is in your mouth, pushing at yours and licking at every nook and cranny that he can reach. You walk him backward to your bed. You don’t separate your mouths, not when you push him down onto your mattress, not when you sit on his lap with your legs on either side of him. Your nails dig into his shoulders, leaving little crescents indented into his skin. 

Juyeon groans at the stinging feeling, sliding his hands under your shirt and gently pushing it up. He does it slowly, giving you time to stop him, but you get impatient and shove him back until he’s lying down. His hands are still on your waist, and he’s watching with a hazy gaze as you lift your shirt over your head and throw it somewhere across the room. 

“Shit, pretty girl,” he breathes out and tries to slide his hands up to your chest. You’re smirking when you slap his hands away. 

“No touching yet,” you tell him and he groans in response. 

“You can’t just do this and not let me touch you!” He whines. “It’s not fair!” 

“You should’ve thought about that before you ignored me for a week,” you retort and he falls silent. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just get you back with this.” Your hands reach behind your back and you swiftly unclip your bra and throw that in the direction you’d thrown your shirt in. Juyeon’s hands lurch up to touch you again but you’re faster, grabbing his wrists and pinning them down to his sides with a click of your tongue.

“Y/N please,” Juyeon begs, his breath hitching in his throat when you leave him completely, and he can only watch as you unbutton your jeans and tug the rest of your clothing off. He’s practically drooling as he sits up, watching you undress for him. He watches you walk to your dresser, digging through your drawers for a moment before returning with a long piece of silk. “Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking joking.” 

You laugh at his reaction and toss the silk onto the mattress behind him. 

“Why would I be joking, Juyeon?” You stand between his legs, and you grin when he doesn’t even try to touch you this time. You can see the tent in his cargo pants and let your hands trace up and down his thighs. “Take off your shirt for me?” 

There’s a dangerous look in your eye, one that Juyeon can’t find himself wanting to disobey and he’s lifting his shirt over his head without a second thought. Your eyes widen ever so slightly and Juyeon can’t help but smirk. He knows he’s attractive, knows that his body catches people’s attention and he’s proud of that. 

With you, however, there’s something different about how you look at him. Something primal, like a predator looking at her prey and he shifts in his spot. 

“Pants too.” He nods and rises to his feet again, tensing when you raise your hands. “What are you stopping for? Get moving, don’t you have other appointments to get to?” Your hands are tracing the lines of his abs, feeling the way he flinches at your touch. You continue to trace his body as he bends down to lower his pants and boxers to the ground. Your hands raise to the backs of his shoulders, to the back of his neck, and let them slip down to his pecs when he stands straight again. 

You almost let yourself falter when you see his cock for the first time. It’s big, bigger than any you’ve taken in the past, and you can’t help but imagine what he’d looked like when he was thinking of you. Did he look as messy as he does now, eyes practically crazed, his breathing labored as he fisted himself? Did he watch himself in the mirror, imagining it was your hand instead of his own? 

“So pretty, baby.” You breathe out, letting your hand drop down to wrap around his cock. He sucks in a breath, letting it out when he whines at the feeling of you running your hand up and down, squeezing at the base, and rubbing your thumb along the tip. “So pretty.” 

You push him back again, releasing him from your grasp and following him as he slides up your bed. You take the silk in your hand, gesturing for him to put his hands above his head, tying the silk tightly around his wrists so he can’t get loose. Juyeon lets out another broken whine when you straddle him, running your fingers over your core and gathering the wetness on your fingers. You allow yourself to moan quietly, gauging Juyeon’s reaction to you touching yourself. He’s staring with his mouth hanging open, his cock twitching against his abdomen as he watches you sink two fingers into your core. He whines when your body shudders against him, when you curl your fingers up into you. 

“Is this what you think about, Juyeon?” You try your best to keep your voice steady when you speak. “Do you think about this when you touch yourself? When you lock yourself in the bathroom, jacking off to the thought of me like some little virgin?” He doesn’t respond, too lost in the sight of you riding your own hand. 

He doesn’t see you reach your free hand up, gasping when he feels you squeeze your fingers around his throat. Not too tightly, but enough to get his attention back on you. 

“I asked you a question, baby.” You pull your fingers out of your dripping pussy, gazing at the arousal covering your hand and humming in thought. “I guess I should give a reason to not answer, shouldn’t I?”

“Please,” Juyeon whispers out, and you smile when you raise your fingers to his mouth. 

“Go on then,” you tell him, “suck.” 

His head lurches forward, taking your fingers into his mouth and moaning at the taste of you. He runs his tongue along your fingers, and you inhale sharply, your eyelids drooping when he tries to open his eyes, trying to watch and gauge your reaction. 

“Cleanin’ me up good, hm?” You pull your fingers from his mouth and Juyeon takes this time to catch his breath, to gather himself. You don’t give him long though, no more than a few moments before you’re grabbing his cock in your dainty hand and lining it up with your pussy. 

“Fuck,” Juyeon throws his head back, his hands curling into fists, and groaning as you sink down on him. Your walls are squeezing so tightly around him, and he knows it has to be a stretch for you but you act as if it was nothing for you, as if he didn’t hit that sweet spot inside of you just by you sinking down on him. You let your eyes drift shut, fighting back the urge to start riding him until he has nothing left to give you. You can feel him twitching inside of you, knowing that he’s close just from your warm walls squeezing around him. “Fuck, pretty girl, please.”

“Please what, baby?” You coo, the hand on his throat squeezing gently. He whines and you grin. “Use those words, pretty boy. You can do it.”

“Let me fuck you,” he gasps out and you let out a yelp when he thrusts his hips up and sends you falling over his body. 

Your breasts are in his face now, and he doesn’t give you the chance to do anything before he’s bringing his arms down and trapping you against him as best he can. He thrusts his hips up, driving his cock into you at a pace that you couldn’t keep up with if you tried. He reaches his head up, his teeth latching onto one of your nipples and practically forcing you to follow him as he brings his head back down. Juyeon sucks at your breast, pinning your chest against his face with his arms that he’s brought to rest between your shoulder blades. Every one of his thrusts sends you up his body, but he does his damn best to keep you in place, sucking and licking and biting at both of your tits, groaning every time your cunt clenches around him. 

You feel like you can’t breathe, the air being punched out of you in broken moans and pitched whines. Juyeon is in about the same state as you, the noises he’s letting out are louder than yours, more frequent, and it brings a fresh wave of arousal washing over you. 

“Are you close, pretty boy?” You gasp out. “Gonna— gonna cum for me?” 

“Fuck, yes,” He throws his head back, his hips stuttering against yours. You bring one of your hands down to your clit, rubbing furious circles into it, letting your walls flutter around him and drawing both of you closer to your orgasms. 

When you cum, it has you seeing stars. Your orgasm has you crying out his name, has you clenching around him so tightly that he’s finishing not long after you. You sink your body back, rolling your hips gently over his and placing a firm kiss on his lips. Your tongue pushes into his mouth, swallowing the sounds he makes as he pumps white hot cum into your core. It’s less of a kiss this time, though, and more teeth gnashing together and biting at each other’s lips. 

His hips slow down after a minute or two, and you let your body relax against his, reaching up to untie the silk around his wrists. 

“Fucking finally,” he groans and lets his hands roam your sweaty body. “Thought I was gonna die if you kept me tied up any longer.” You laugh, letting your head drop to his chest. 

“That’s what you get for making me wait.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes at you. “And you called me a try-hard.”

“Because you are, Juyeon.” You roll off of him, staring at your ceiling while you lay next to him on your mattress.

“Whatever you say, pretty girl,” he rolls his head to look at you with a cheeky grin on his face. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” Your eyebrows knit together. He just keeps smiling. “What, stripper boy.”

“You know what all this means, right?” You shrug.

“That I have to go to all your parties now or you’re gonna hunt me down?” He laughs and you smile a bit.

“That, and I get to call you my girlfriend.”

“I never agreed to that.” You deny, turning on your side and facing him fully. 

“Sure you did! It was at the very bottom of the flier I gave you.” He tells you.

“No, it wasn’t.” You frown.

“Yeah, it was!” He sits up, reaching for the second flier he gave you that had been placed on your bedside table. “See? Right there at the bottom in tiny font that I knew you wouldn’t pay attention to!” You squint at the words he’s pointing at and let out a scoff.

“Seriously, stripper boy? If your name is Y/N L/N and you redeem this offer, you are legally obligated to become Lee Juyeon’s boyfriend, whether you like it or not. Xoxo.” You push the paper back into his hands. "When did you even put this on there? We hardly knew each other when you gave me this flier."

“I told you!” He beams and lays back down. “You’re my girlfriend now.”

"Cute, but that doesn't answer my question, stripper boy." He digs his fingers into your side, pulling you closer to him, and grins.

"Does it matter?"

"I mean...I guess not?"

"Exactly."

“Does this mean that when we break up, I get half of all your assets?” He glares at you playfully.

“Fuck, no.”

“Damn…” you sigh and lay down with your head on his chest. “I guess I’ll have to put up with you for life then, huh?”

“Mhm.” He cards his hands through your hair, gently combing through the knots. “You excited to spend the next 75 years with me, girlfriend?”

“Not at all, boyfriend.”

“Yes, you are.”

“…Try-hard.”

© itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 - 𝐘. 𝐉𝐖

▏pairings. cult leader!junwgon x fem!reader

▏desc. Things are weird here at woodrope boarding school..When y/n transfers to woodrope boarding school she immediately clicks with her roommate yang Hana the girl becoming her one and only saving grace. So when she goes missing Y/n does everything she can to find her, including working with Hana's infuriating twin brother Yang Jungwon...who also happens to run the cult like fraternity in this odd school. Yes, woodrope high is weird...and there are so.many.secrets.

▏warnings. dark academia setting, heavily inspired by media such as the show Wednesday, the books ninth house by Leigh bardugo and the atlas six by Olivie Blake. Suggestive content, blood, gore and creepy vibes.

▏W.C. estimating 8k words

COMING SOON.

note - this will be coming out AFTER 'love the way you lie' so don't worry! If you'd like to be tagged please reply and I'll be happy to tag you all !

@belovedhoon , @st1llm0nster

UNLUCKY GIRL SYNDROME ✦ PSH

SYNOPSIS. if it was possible to see the number of people who would fall in love with you over your lifetime, most people would agree to it in a heartbeat, but some might not. you don't get that choice, labelled by a mysterious system as someone destined to receive no love and threatened to fix this 'error' before it's too late. but who will be your saviour, the social pariah sunghoon, or the school's golden boy sim jaeyun?

CONTENT. f! reader, love triangle, grumpy x sunshine, serious topics (burnout, mental health, etc.), she fell first he fell harder, drama, comedy, slight angst

PLAYLIST. listen here... ! feel free to send in an ask with recommendations

NOTE. this is inspired by true love operation! the premise & the character settings are both based off of it!

++ the love triangle is between you, jake, and sunghoon. which I KNOW a lot of people hate love triangles and tbh i don't love them, but the main reason i think a lot of people don't like them is the main character tends to lead the second lead on and refuses to make a choice. i don't think that happens here! and anyways, not to spoil... but i'm actually going to make this a three part series for each of the 02z so jake will get his happy ending!

++ special thanks to suki ( @fleurre ) for beta reading, you helped me SO much!

WORD COUNT. 16.7 k / 31.2 k

PART TWO. link at bottom, and also here!

when sunghoon thinks back on this moment months later, he’ll shudder in embarrassment at his behaviour. right now, he’s just a bit of an asshole: the kind of guy to see a cat stuck in a tree and simply continue walking.

sunghoon of course, knowns none of this. he’s musing about how much longer he has to spend in the building when a harsh shove jolts him back to reality from the haze his mind had ventured to.

he stumbles slightly, almost falling into a desk, ultimately regaining his balance easily thanks to years of being an ice skater. he levels a glare at the culprit responsible for nearly making him eat tile, raising an eyebrow at the boy’s lurching gait.

his attention remains on the boy, half curious about the boy and half excessively bored from waiting for class to start. the bustle and chatter of sunghoon’s fellow high schoolers serves only to irritate him as he sees the boy slump into his desk and settle his head down onto the worn wood.

must be tired. still doesn’t stop sunghoon from internally chastising him. idiot. as an athlete… as a former athlete, he’s long since hammered it in to have a hearty and enriched breakfast every single morning.

he’s just about to turn away when a moving figure- seemingly headed straight for the desk sunghoon’s attention has been invested in- enters his field of vision.

sunghoon holds back a sigh. it’s you. he knows you yes, but he doesn’t particularly like you. in fact, one might venture as far as to say that you irritate him. piss him off, even. the frown on his face only deepens when you dart a quick glance around the classroom to make sure no one’s paying attention, to which he quickly looks away.

only for his attention to return back to you soon after. sunghoon watches as you, upon a seemingly clear coast, pull a cold coffee can out of your backpack as well as a pastry. he snorts, what an awfully non nutritious breakfast. you seem to falter a little, hands moving carefully so as to not disrupt the boy’s rest. satisfied with your work, you head back to your seat. 

he’s noticed that you seem to be wholly friendless. which is odd, considering how you behave when no one’s looking. 

now here’s the thing. he doesn’t dislike you because of something you did or still do, well not in the way most people would expect. as horrendously unreasonable as it sounds even to himself, you just don’t make sense.

how could anyone be kind for no reason? he would see you around school just helping people out both without them knowing and receiving no benefit from it. who does that? the reason this bothers him is that it isn’t possible.

love is entirely transactional; this is something sunghoon has observed from the people around him as a child, and that had only been cemented in his circuit as a child prodigy.

people loved him when he was good at what he did. when he ate, slept, and breathed ice skating. they loved how he never missed a day at the rink, never scored lower than the podium at competitions.

fans would do so much for him, but it was all transactional. the second he faltered, made a mistake, stopped being perfect and faltered, so too did their love. when he lost his passion and washed up, so too did their support.

not just love but even kindness is given with the expectation of earning something in return. the fact that you don’t seem to have this motive is incredibly suspicious, and he doesn’t believe it for a second.

there has to be something you’re hiding, and while he might not care enough to set out and find it, he would take extreme pleasure in knowing he was right the whole time when the truth inevitably came out.

you pout as you watch the hustle and bustle of the classroom during your lunch period. you don’t have anyone to speak to, yes, but it isn’t really by choice. you had transferred here this year, only to be slightly taken aback by the cliquey and peculiar culture. your old school was very friendly, enough that your friends knew all about your slightly embarrassing hobby about writing romance stories online even without ever having dated anyone. they would be perhaps 5 out of the 8 likes you’d receive on chapters.

you have never had a problem making friends, but that was back home. this is here. here, the atmosphere is so rigid and chilly that you’d never think for a second about opening up to someone about your pastimes even if you did get friends. in fact, the loneliness had gotten to you so much that you stopped posting full stop, not feeling you understood human relations enough to write about them at all.

so you try helping people, for no reason in particular. it comes entirely naturally to be honest. it’s just that if you can’t make friends with people then this is how you can still be near people.

everyone craves human connection in one way or another, the only difference is if they allow themselves to do so.

now you just watch wistfully as gaggles of teenage boys yell boisterously and raucous laughter fills the air. girls sit with each other, leaning in to hear the hot gossip or simply about each other’s lives.

the sun streaming in through the large windows casts a golden shine over the scene, somehow causing you to feel nostalgic even as you are present in the moment. not to mention the aromas. it’s all you can do to not rob the boy sitting a few desks away from you of his lunch, also alone.

though, once your eyes reach him, they don’t leave. why does he look bored out of his mind? maybe he has no friends like you? actually, that’s highly unlikely. he probably does, they’re just in another class. man, with a face like that, it’s hard to believe people in this class aren’t clambering to hang out around him.

your eyes narrow slightly; considering the wide berth the other students give him, such isolation may be intentional. oh well, not your problem.

not your problem, because what you have to worry about right now is finding friends. it’s harder than it sounds. the noise around the classroom peters out and you settle further into your chair.

oh well. there’s always tomorrow to start making friends.

jake’s eyes are just about to close when the door to the storage room he’s found for himself whips open. great. just when he thought he could get some alone time away from the hordes of people vying for his attention.

now the model genuinely appreciates the dedication people seem to have in supporting him, but. but. there’s this stuffy feeling in his chest he gets whenever he thinks about it nowadays.

he doesn’t like thinking about it, so his solution is just that. don’t think about it.

but now, you’ve arrived into the room and he has a strong feeling his peace will get disrupted. 

jake holds his breath as you curse lightly after stumbling in and closing the door behind you. he feels like a field mouse trying to evade a bald eagle’s notice. in both cases it’s useless, of course.

you gasp, and he winces, trying to prepare himself for the ear-splitting shrieks that are surely soon to follow. and then inevitably a horde of excited teenage girls bustling in. so much for a peaceful lunch.

contrary to his expectations, however, your volume remains to be under 60 decibels as you open your mouth, “woah! i didn’t realize anyone else would be in here, sorry!”

jake raises his brows, slightly confused. don’t get him wrong, while he is indeed what you would call famous, he doesn’t expect everyone to love or even know who he is. he’s met many people who were indifferent to him or seemed to possibly dislike him.

it’s just, that had never happened here. now that he has started going to decelis academy, there hasn’t been a single moment he’s alone or unknown. and that’s, well, the nature of highschool. people would find out a model is attending their school and spread it to all of their friends, or that they had seen him in an ad. that kind of stuff.

so considering school would obviously be full of teen aged girls, whilst roaming decelis’ halls he had never encountered a face that lacked recognition the way yours did.

jake speaks cautiously, but still maintaining his friendly air, “that’s alright.”

you blink, somehow this boy is a little familiar, but you can’t pinpoint exactly where you’ve seen him… oh well, again, not your problem! it seems like he’s open to sharing the space with the way he hadn’t immediately shooed you out. you take a cursory glance around the room, noting a broken fountain drink bottle in the corner.

you step further in the room clearing your throat a bit, “so, do you mind if i stay here?”

right now you’re really not looking forward to going outside and facing everyone. hundreds of people, and none of them as lonely as you.

you don’t know how much longer you can take it, going to school every morning and having the hours crawl by painstakingly slow.

internally, jake assesses how likely you are to bother him and be invasive; taking in your frazzled appearance and rather nervous state, he decides you’re most likely hiding out here for reasons entirely unrelated to him.

he smiles warmly and nods, “sure, you should probably take a seat, though.”

say… you could try making friends with this boy sitting on the ground? sure, it might go awfully wrong and he’d be weirded out by you, but considering you’ve never seen him before now, what’s the likelihood you’d see him after?

so you square your shoulders, ignore the way this boy is incredibly handsome– enough to be a model even– and open your mouth.

“why are you hiding out here?”

the words strike the silent air like a whip and even you wince when they exit your mouth. the way you said it sounded just a tad confrontational and you can see an undecipherable emotion fill the boy’s face as his brows furrow and eyes narrow. before he can open his mouth however, you interrupt in an attempt to not sound accusatory.

“that sounded a bit odd, i just meant i’ve never seen anyone other than me eat alone.”

the boy raises his eyebrows, and slightly embarrassed, you speak yet again.

“not that i don’t have friends!”

you pause, before sighing and deflating.

“actually, why am i trying. i don’t.”

by now jake is thoroughly bewildered, this encounter being the furthest thing from what he expected when you had entered through the heavy metal door (speaking of which, how did you have the strength to whip it open anyways?)

the conversation is so out of left field that jake’s perfectly maintained filter slips for a moment, and he asks, “are you new here?”

you blink a few times before sighing, “yes… how’d you know?”

now there are a great number of things he can say at this moment, that it’s unlikely for you to have no friends unless you’re new, that he has never seen you around before, but what came out is more honest.

“you didn’t know me.”

“what?” you raise an eyebrow, immensely surprised at what this boy (you really should ask for a name so you don’t have to keep referring to him as boy in your head) has just said.

jake panics at his admittedly less than courteous words, so he fumbles slightly in hopes of covering them up.

“uh, i just mean, i’ve never seen you! i know a lot of people around the school, but i don’t think i’ve seen you around.”

he scratches his head sheepishly, hoping you take the gesture and words and think about them instead of the slightly arrogant sentence he had uttered prior.

you nod, definitely not forgetting what he had said just now, but accepting the words as valid reasoning.

jake is a bit nervous, this didn’t fit into his usual case of interacting with others. it never took him this much effort to engage in a conversation and get people to like him.

and yes, you need to like jake, because everyone likes jake. he’s that guy.

the model rakes his brain for something to say before realizing a big glaring point he has missed all along.

“what’s your name?” jake levels another friendly smile at you.

you stare at him, focused on analyzing his features and trying to figure out where you’ve seen him before when the words break you out of your reverie.

you’re quiet for a second, listening to the sound of laughter and cheer that seems to encompass free periods, before you answer him with your name.

jake nods, “i’m jake.”

you frown, a little perturbed, that name is so familiar too. you know there’s no way this is the first time you’ve seen that face paired up with that name, “do i know you?”

in turn, he raises his brows, a little surprised at the question.

“not that i’m aware of..?”

he’s in the middle of figuring out how to say he’s a model which may be where you’ve seen him without seeming conceited when you gasp.

“yes, i do!”

jake waits for you to gush over said modelling, only to be slightly surprised when he’s met with a slight glare and pout instead.

“when i first transferred here you ran into me and made me spill my drink all over myself! and then you just made me write my kakaopay and ran away!”

the boy’s jaw drops open, extremely surprised by what came out of your mouth.

. . .

he struggles to find the right words, but there seems to be none in this situation. especially because he does not remember the encounter at all. he’s a busy person who interacts with countless people every day, and there’s no way he’d remember a one-off incident like that.

especially because he seemed to be in a hurry at the time you met him.

“i’m… sorry...”

you raise a brow, “it’s alright, you paid for it anyway. why were you in such a rush though…?”

“i’m not sure,” jake murmurs, but you’re not done with your commentary.

“the most exciting thing going on that day was the math competition, and that’s saying something.”

jake’s eyes light up, remembering, “that’s where i was going then! the math contest.”

your eyes widen slightly, “oh, i wouldn’t have expected that.”

wait.. is this boy pouting? it seems to be a mix between a pout and a grimace. 

“why not.”

oh gosh, did you offend him? does it sound like you’re saying he doesn’t look smart?

you wave your hands around frantically, not wanting to be misconstrued, “i didn’t mean anything, it’s just–” 

you’re interrupted by a phone notification, and when you glance at your phone it elicits a gasp.

“would you look at the time, sorry, i gotta go!”

you get up and immediately head for the exit without waiting for a response. gosh, this is so embarrassing.

meanwhile jake, is still frozen on the floor, a little upset. you only see him as a pretty face (if you even saw that…) how typical. that's all he is to anyone else, of course.

you’ve always loved the walk home back from school. well, always is a little bit of an exaggeration considering you’ve only moved here a couple months ago.

still, you’ve been watching the leaves fill the trees and spring begin to roll in. your path home is full of life and ardour brimming in the trees and small animals. today is no different of course, you hum slightly as you trek through the journey.

you’re so lost in the tunes pumping through your earbuds that you almost miss the stark pink rectangle on the path in front of you. 

‘huh, that’s odd,’ you think as you bend down to examine it more closely, realizing the object is a flip phone with a bright pink plastic backing. now who in their right minds would leave a phone on the floor? although, it most likely slipped out and fell…

and on top of that, having a flip phone in this day and age is slightly bizarre considering how outdated it is. not wanting to block the pathway, you pick the phone up and settle onto the bench.

maybe if you go through the details, you’ll find some information on the owner so you can return it to them. as old as it is, having a phone is still essential for communicating with everyone in your life and you’re sure whoever this phone belonged to won’t be pleased to lose it.

you power on the phone to go through it, and you find yourself able to go to the home screen immediately.

huh. either the owner hadn’t set a pin, or this phone’s so old it lacks the ability to set one.

which is good for you! it makes it easier to find the owner. but when you open up the contacts and try to check the owner contact, there’s no other form of contact there.

you’re just about to open the email app when the phone receives a message! you panic slightly, almost dropping the phone, but ultimately you decide to ignore the message.

but that’s before your eyes focus on the contents, to which you gasp softly.

unknown number: hey you who’s looking at this phone right now.

should you answer it? it might be the owner trying to contact you… a little odd that they would assume someone has it with them, but they could just be peculiar. nothing that would stop you from trying to return this device to the rightful owner.

unknown number: psst… answer me

unknown number: i have something to tell you

you decide to ignore the bizarreness of the message and respond with a quick: 

you: hello, is this the owner of the phone?

not even 10 seconds pass by before you receive a response. 

unknown number: you could say that. but that’s not important.

unknown number: what’s important here is you, you’re really lonely, huh?

okay, now this is getting really weird. too uncomfortable even for you, who’s always willing to help. but you make one last attempt.

you: sorry, i’m just trying to return this to the owner. if you let me know a meeting place i can give this back to you.

a message pings the phone at the same time yours is sent, causing you to widen your eyes. it’s a photo of you on the bench with a mocking sentence attached.

unknown number: poor little miss y/n. no one’s ever loved her, have they? :(

okay, now this is really fucking creepy. and there’s no way you’re helping them with the phone now. your stomach churns with unease, brain running a mile a minute, and you realize this person is close enough to see you. meaning they most likely left their phone on the road to observe and text whoever picks it up.

like one of those social experiments. except a million times more absurd. whatever. not your problem. you quickly settle the phone on the bench, knowing the owner would eventually come to retrieve it, before continuing on the sidewalk.

it’s only a few paces later when you freeze in your steps and you start to hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

how the actual hell did they know your name? this no longer seems like a (debatably) innocent prank to you.

shivers crawl up your spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. suddenly the breeze and peaceful atmosphere don’t seem so nice and the path seems to stretch before you for miles.

just amazing, you curse the world out as you rush home, shoes pounding against the pavement at near breakneck speed.

shit. what the hell is going on?

you lock the door as fast as you can and lean your back against it, breaths coming out as harsh pants.

your mind as an absolute mess right now, severely freaked out by what just happened. you would think someone you know is pulling a messed up prank on you except you had left all your friends several kilometres behind when you moved away.

your hands are shaking even as you make your way to your bedroom and pace around the walkable space. an idea occurs to you and you desperately shoot towards where you had left your backpack.

maybe, without your notice, your mom has labelled your backpack or something, it’s highly unlikely but it’s looking to be your last hope.

knots tie themselves in your stomach as a cursory search of the bag shows it to be the plain thing you have always lugged to school. you sigh, opening the front pocket to get your phone as a natural response, but you freeze.

there, nestled comfortably alongside your phone, is the same pink flip phone you had left on the bench.

your hands tremble uncontrollably as you pick it up. you try to remember if there was an opportunity for anyone to stuff it into your bag, but there’s no way. you were running home at full speed, there was no way you wouldn’t have felt someone try and hold on to you long enough to unzip, insert, and then zip again.

something is wrong, and it’s really fucking with your head that you can’t think of a logical explanation to all of this.

sure enough, when you open the phone, another message has arrived.

unknown number: you didn’t really think you could run away, did you?

unknown number: awww i didn’t take you for a coward, y/n. although maybe that’s the reason no one can seem to love you.

unknown number: a pity.

you can’t decide whether to feel scared or angry, so you settle for a mix of both. it’s probably a good idea to try and find out more about this mystery sender, but that really isn’t something you feel like doing.

so you run back outside your house, bringing a dustpan, and smash the phone on the ground, cleaning up the mess to bring inside and throw out.

now if you see this stupid fucking phone again, it really would be a miracle.

thoughts of mystery senders and bright pink flip phones circle around your head as you get into bed that night, mind forgetting all about boys who spill drinks on you and boys that sit all alone at lunch, oddly isolated for some reason.

you have bigger things to worry about.

your homeroom teacher clearly doesn’t care about your bigger worries, you muse solemnly the next day with a sigh.

here you are, set to spend the next few weeks with the quiet and solitary boy in your class and saddled with extra work. you don’t entirely mind the extra work, but you have an inkling working with ‘park sunghoon’ won’t be fun.

this is what has happened. when you enter class in the morning, everything is going as usual. you haven’t seen that cursed phone again (thank god) and everyone seems to be going about their day perfectly fine.

then your teacher comes in, and begins to speak about a school wide event. she says that other schools are set to be invited, as well as a multitude of other things. all stuff you couldn’t care less about, and so you zone out.

that is, until the classroom goes pin drop silent and you realize maybe you should clock back in.

the teacher, it seems, is asking for volunteers?

“now, i know we have class representatives, but as they already have many other duties, i want to pick two new students for the roles of managing our class’s contribution to the event.”

still not very interesting, but you feign attentiveness. you can hear whispers all around you, people considering if the perks are worth giving up that much free time. ultimately, no one raises their hands for fear of looking eager.

instead, they wait for her to strike.

she calls on park sunghoon, curiously enough, “how would you like to help with the event, sunghoon?”

you can read people, so it’s very obvious a snarky reply might have made its way to his mouth, but you can almost see him swallow it back.

“okay,” he intones instead.

immediately, it’s as if someone has pressed a mute button. all of the potential interest in participating vanishes. you raise a brow, sunghoon seems to be a handsome guy, with no glaringly apparent personality issues, so why does it seem like absolutely no one wants to work with him?

is he a pariah, maybe? perhaps he had caused an incident before you had transferred to the school, and that caused their aversion.

nevertheless, whatever the reason is, interest in working on the school event has dropped into the negatives.

which, of course, means the teacher has to volunteer someone again. and of course, the lucky person has to be you.

“y/n,” the teacher starts, jolting you into attention, “would you like to work alongside sunghoon for the event? you’ll be able to make a lot of friends, and it might help in getting to know the school and its students better.”

you flinch in your seat, a flush settling in your body. this is so damn embarrassing. did she have to call you out like that in front of everyone?

“uh,” your voice cracks slightly and it’s all you can do to not dive under the desk and cry, “sure?”

it isn’t like you have much else of a choice, what with twenty-something pairs of eyes locked onto you expectantly. maybe if you do this they’d actually like you. if they don’t make fun of you for being so obviously friendless first, of course.

you’re still in an almost trancelike state when you and sunghoon are alone in the room with the teacher to receive more detailed instructions after class.

“you two will be in touch often in the upcoming month, so i suggest you exchange contact information, if you haven’t already.” she leaves with a final note.

so now it’s just the two of you. great.

you clear your throat awkwardly, “so, should we exchange numbers?”

the words are uttered with a friendly air as you try to not take his standoffish aura and appearance at face value. never judge a book by its cover, or whatever the saying is.

scratch that- did this bitch just roll his eyes at you? okay, wow, so maybe the other students are totally valid in giving his ass a fifteen foot berth.

“what else?” 

and man, it might seem like a given to him, but it isn’t for you? there’s no reason to be so rude to a complete stranger. especially since you haven’t wronged him.

… nothing that you can remember, at least.

you hum, still being civil, of course. 

“hmm, social media would work too.”

he levels you with an unimpressed gaze, “i don’t have social media.”

“o.. kay?” not entirely sure how to respond, you hand your phone over to insert his number.

he takes it, and you expect him to hand his phone over to do the same, but he doesn’t.

after around half a minute he just puts the cell phone back into your hands, already packing up to leave.

when he notices you standing there in place, not having moved an inch as he’s all but ready to go, he stares blankly at you.

“just text me so i get your number,” sunghoon mutters as he brushes past you.

wow. either you’ve done something wrong to him and forgotten about it (‘like jake did,’ you thought with a chuckle), or he’s just a grouchy person in general.

you’re leaning towards the second, because then it would also make sense why everyone avoids him.

sunghoon is in a very grumpy mood. sure, he wouldn’t go as far as to call you the bane of his existence but considering how often the corners of his mouth have pulled down into a frown in the past week, you might be close.

‘although,’ sunghoon muses, ‘it’s been getting better…’

most notably, despite your initial interaction and the following few being quite stilted, mostly courtesy of one standoffish park sunghoon, he’s noticed a sort of reluctant peace start to settle between the two of you.

from you, because annoyingly enough you don’t seem to have a mean bone in your body, and also from him because as much as you bother him, you intrigue him.

how are you possible?

and that’s where he is right now. sunghoon discreetly looks at you from his end of the storage room.

this week, the two of you are taking inventory of the school’s supplies in order to see what needs to be ordered. unfortunately, there are a lot of storage rooms across your school buildings. like, an unsettling amount.

the number causes an odd feeling to arise; considering there are so many, what are the odds that you would happen to stumble upon the one that contained jake? funny how things work out, isn’t it?

back to the point, you try to ignore sunghoon’s gaze digging into the back of your head as you rummage through the shelves on your side of the room and make notes on a clipboard.

eventually, though, it’s too much.

“what.” you force out before tracing back to suck any annoyance out of your tone, “i mean, is something the matter?”

sunghoon just stares at you cryptically, a slight smirk arising at your slip up. so you aren’t little miss perfect all of the time. funnily enough, this doesn’t sate him and instead he just grows more keen on seeing you lose your composure.

‘that’s right, you don’t like being nice all the time do you?’

before sunghoon can try and calculate what to say to irritate you, though, the words just slip out, “why are you so nice all the time?”

you raise an eyebrow, “am i?”

he gives you an unimpressed look, but doesn’t bother speaking so you continue.

“i don’t think i’m nice. i get really frustrated at people and i’m not always polite or courteous,” you ramble.

now this is interesting. sunghoon is downright flabbergasted, because what did you mean, you’re not nice? 

“i’ve seen you help people out all the time,” sunghoon blurts out, realizing in hindsight he’s exposed himself.

you nod at him, deciding to ignore the fact that apparently you have been getting observed for a considerable amount of time.

“okay, but i consider that basic human decency. kindness, if we’re stretching it.”

his forehead scrunches and you hate that the mannerism gets marked in your head as ‘adorable’ before you reel yourself back and remember he’s been… kind of a dick to you.

although, considering the way everyone avoids him… maybe he’s just kind of a dick in general?

you are pulled from your musing when sunghoon speaks after his extended silence, “what’s the difference?”

you let out a startled, “huh?”

sunghoon shakes his head, his state of utter bafflement temporarily draining the previous irritation out of him, “between kindness and niceness, what’s the difference?”

“well,” you struggle to find a way to put it into words, “being nice is like being polite to others and having manners, like saying please or thank you. being kind… i think it’s more about other people and treating them well. caring.”

when he’s silent, you continue, “you can be kind without being nice, and you can be nice without being kind. the latter… is pretty common, considering how often people want to use others for their own gain.”

a certain light of understanding enters the boy’s eyes and you believe he’s starting to see your point, but sunghoon’s next words prove that wrong.

“kindness doesn’t exist.”

your eyebrows shoot up. what in the world is this guy talking about?

“of course it does, maybe it’s hard to be kind to strangers, but i’m sure you’ve experienced kindness from those that care about you.”

a frown settles on his face, and it’s like all the openness to discussion he had started to gather has vanished in an instant. sunghoon is akin to an ice cold wall.

he turns away from you, back to the shelves on his side of the room, cleanly killing the conversation in a few gruff words, “let’s get back to work.”

you sigh, turning and following suit, before you almost tip the basket you’ve started to peak into at his next words.

they find your ears in a faint whisper, almost as if they had not meant to be said aloud, “if kindness exists, i’ve never felt it.”

the words bring an immeasurable ache into your heart, despite this being your first proper conversation with him.

sure, he’s rude and unnecessarily curt with you, but he hasn’t gone so far as to be unkind. everyone deserves to receive warmth, to be nurtured and cared for.

of course, you sure as hell aren’t going to be the one to try and nurture him, it really isn’t your job.

that still doesn’t stop you from feeling a note of sympathy and sadness for the boy as you continue your inventory.

sunghoon is in a very grumpy mood. sure, he wouldn’t go as far as to call you the bane of his existence but considering how often the corners of his mouth have pulled down into a frown in the past week, you might be close.

‘although,’ sunghoon muses, ‘it’s been getting better…’

most notably, despite your initial interaction and the following few being quite stilted, mostly courtesy of one standoffish park sunghoon, he’s noticed a sort of reluctant peace start to settle between the two of you.

from you, because annoyingly enough you don’t seem to have a mean bone in your body, and also from him because as much as you bother him, you intrigue him.

how are you possible?

and that’s where he is right now. sunghoon discreetly looks at you from his end of the storage room.

this week, the two of you are taking inventory of the school’s supplies in order to see what needs to be ordered. unfortunately, there are a lot of storage rooms across your school buildings. like, an unsettling amount.

the number causes an odd feeling to arise; considering there are so many, what are the odds that you would happen to stumble upon the one that contained jake? funny how things work out, isn’t it?

back to the point, you try to ignore sunghoon’s gaze digging into the back of your head as you rummage through the shelves on your side of the room and make notes on a clipboard.

eventually, though, it’s too much.

“what.” you force out before tracing back to suck any annoyance out of your tone, “i mean, is something the matter?”

sunghoon just stares at you cryptically, a slight smirk arising at your slip up. so you aren’t little miss perfect all of the time. funnily enough, this doesn’t sate him and instead he just grows more keen on seeing you lose your composure.

‘that’s right, you don’t like being nice all the time do you?’

before sunghoon can try and calculate what to say to irritate you, though, the words just slip out, “why are you so nice all the time?”

you raise an eyebrow, “am i?”

he gives you an unimpressed look, but doesn’t bother speaking so you continue.

“i don’t think i’m nice. i get really frustrated at people and i’m not always polite or courteous,” you ramble.

now this is interesting. sunghoon is downright flabbergasted, because what did you mean, you’re not nice? 

“i’ve seen you help people out all the time,” sunghoon blurts out, realizing in hindsight he’s exposed himself.

you nod at him, deciding to ignore the fact that apparently you have been getting observed for a considerable amount of time.

“okay, but i consider that basic human decency. kindness, if we’re stretching it.”

his forehead scrunches and you hate that the mannerism gets marked in your head as ‘adorable’ before you reel yourself back and remember he’s been… kind of a dick to you.

although, considering the way everyone avoids him… maybe he’s just kind of a dick in general?

you are pulled from your musing when sunghoon speaks after his extended silence, “what’s the difference?”

you let out a startled, “huh?”

sunghoon shakes his head, his state of utter bafflement temporarily draining the previous irritation out of him, “between kindness and niceness, what’s the difference?”

“well,” you struggle to find a way to put it into words, “being nice is like being polite to others and having manners, like saying please or thank you. being kind… i think it’s more about other people and treating them well. caring.”

when he’s silent, you continue, “you can be kind without being nice, and you can be nice without being kind. the latter… is pretty common, considering how often people want to use others for their own gain.”

a certain light of understanding enters the boy’s eyes and you believe he’s starting to see your point, but sunghoon’s next words prove that wrong.

“kindness doesn’t exist.”

your eyebrows shoot up. what in the world is this guy talking about?

“of course it does, maybe it’s hard to be kind to strangers, but i’m sure you’ve experienced kindness from those that care about you.”

a frown settles on his face, and it’s like all the openness to discussion he had started to gather has vanished in an instant. sunghoon is akin to an ice cold wall.

he turns away from you, back to the shelves on his side of the room, cleanly killing the conversation in a few gruff words, “let’s get back to work.”

you sigh, turning and following suit, before you almost tip the basket you’ve started to peak into at his next words.

they find your ears in a faint whisper, almost as if they had not meant to be said aloud, “if kindness exists, i’ve never felt it.”

the words bring an immeasurable ache into your heart, despite this being your first proper conversation with him.

sure, he’s rude and unnecessarily curt with you, but he hasn’t gone so far as to be unkind. everyone deserves to receive warmth, to be nurtured and cared for.

of course, you sure as hell aren’t going to be the one to try and nurture him, it really isn’t your job.

that still doesn’t stop you from feeling a note of sympathy and sadness for the boy as you continue your inventory.

finally. after a long hard day of, well, avoiding pushy fangirls and brown-nosers, jake has glimpsed some freedom.

he finds himself enjoying the breeze on a local park bench instead. it’s close enough to decelis that he still flinches every time he hears a high-pitched noise, but finding peace is not impossible.

especially when the park is full of families having fun and apparent couples lazing on the grass. it’s not often he gets to experience an atmosphere like this. not often that he’s allowed to pause and allow himself to feel the moment long enough to experience anything at all, actually.

it feels as if most of his time is spent in making connections, modelling, events and the time he does get to spend at school is used up dodging people who want to talk about said activities.

it’s downright exhausting, and it’s to the point jake considers dropping modelling several times a week. the issue, of course, is that he loves it. to him, it’s a form of art, especially when he can see all of the incredible content created from him. it’s like a part of him is permanently out there for people to know and experience and that’s just amazing to him.

an impasse. 

but enough rumination, right now is his time to truly feel peace and enjoy the ambiance the fresh air and trees provide.

that is, until someone goes crashing to the ground in front of him. 

jake did think that a block of pavement jutting at an angle from the previous would be an issue, but seeing the stray train of thought come to fruition is unfortunate.

what has just happened settles in, and jake scrambles off of the bench, mourning his peace only a little bit after taking in the familiar decelis girls’ uniform.

“oh my god, are you okay?” his hands hover hesitantly, twitching in the air uselessly in response to the girl’s groan filling the surroundings.

when you turn towards the boy to reassure him that ‘yeah, i just got my shit rocked in front of you, but i’m fine!’ you instead end up gasping when you notice who it is, “it’s you! coffee boy!”

jake is a little astonished, since when is he coffee boy? “hey! i have a name.”

you furrow your brow a bit, and he can’t tell if you’re trying to remember said name or that’s pain on your face.

“jake! right?”

he ignores the odd, new feeling of someone having to confirm his name instead of intuitively knowing it before he even says a word and nods, “and you’re y/n.”

he’s not sure if he would have remembered your name were it not for the way your last encounter with him went.

you nod enthusiastically, before frowning at the sting you feel on your knees. it seems the right one is slightly skinned. you frown, contemplating what you should do, still on the floor.

jake clears his throat, “you, uh, should probably do something about that.”

you raise an unimpressed brow, as if to say, ‘what, pray tell, should i do here in the middle of the park?’

but, not one to be discouraged, you reach into your bag, frowning and dumping one of the pockets contents onto the ground in search of what you need. you cheer slightly in triumph, grabbing the handkerchief around your skinned knee for now.

good enough until you get home.

you hear jake chuckle and fix your gaze back on him, confused as to what’s funny in the situation right now.

he smiles, pointing at an item from your backpack, “you’re still carrying a flip-phone around in this day and age?”

the blood evaporates out of your body. you don’t want it to be true, but as you follow his finger with bated breath, your heart stutters as your gaze lands on it.

it, being a bright. pink. flip-phone.

unbeknownst to you, jake frowns in confusion as he notices the drastic change in your demeanour. he remains dumbfounded as you flounder, shoving everything back in your backpack whilst completely ignoring the object.

he doesn’t even have the time to question you before you bolt away, leaving him and the flip phone.

jake’s unable to hold his curiosity back and he picks up the phone. he almost drops it at the message sitting on the home screen that greets him.

unknown number: hey, you’re not supposed to look at this! (¬_¬)

just what the hell is this? jake shrugs off the unnerving feeling and pockets the cell, deciding he’d give it to you eventually when you spoke again. although with the way you ran off, you didn’t seem too keen about it.

the model is utterly confused, but. oh well. he supposes being strange is one of your character traits.

unbeknownst to him, the phone would appear back in your backpack as soon as you arrive home.

jake would not find the flip phone later and would anxiously assume he lost it– or that you took it back without him knowing. 

the second thought would lead to a misunderstanding later down the line, but that is currently unimportant.

when you finally burst into your bedroom, you’re hyperventilating. a cacophony of frantic thoughts swim around in your head, trying to find some way, any way, to rationalize this. except there’s no rationalizing it.

while you have always been open to the supernatural, by no means are you a quote unquote believer, or anything near the like.

so this is way beyond your scope.

you pace around your room, trying to consider what options there are. clearly, unless you have a devout and incredibly skilled stalker there is no human possibility for the occurrences so far.

with the hypothesis that what’s haunting you is indeed supernatural, what are your possible courses of action?

well, telling someone definitely won’t work out, not to mention the fact that the only people you could possibly tell are your friends, several kilometres away, who are no doubt busy with their own lives. ignoring it has clearly been going well for you so far.

so your only option is to communicate with the mysterious being on the other side and find out exactly what they want. and then hope they leave you alone. how ideal.

you sigh as you dump your backpack on your bed, hoping the flip-phone won’t be amongst your belongings and also simultaneously knowing you aren’t that lucky.

lo and behold, there it is. who would have known such a small object was capable of causing such immense spite? you flick open the phone, bracing yourself for whatever jeering remark is sure to be awaiting you.

unknown number: long time no see, huh? did you miss me?

you roll your eyes and shoot out:

you: no.

the response is unnervingly quick.

unknown number: you hurt my feelings, love. although I suppose you wouldn’t know much about that, would you?

you furrow your brows, having absolutely no idea what the entity is talking about. but before you could even begin to compose a response, another message arrives.

unknown number: alright let's cut to the chase. you’re unlovable.

what. the. fuck. tormenting you constantly isn’t enough, it has to mock you for being perpetually single as well. frustrated, you message back:

you: what do you mean?

unknown number: oh you know exactly what i mean. has anyone ever liked you, a little playground crush, developed feelings? no, because you’re not destined for love.

you don’t believe a word of whatever bullshit this cell phone is spouting.

you: alright, whatever. what’s the big deal.

the next gap between messages is longer, intriguingly enough.

unknown number: you’re an anomaly. a bug. and you know what happens to errors, we get rid of them don’t we?

your brows shoot up, unable to contain the shock at genuinely being threatened.

unknown number: this phone gives you the ability to see how much romantic affection someone will receive in their life ^ - ^

unknown number: you have 0. most normal people have at least 10. crazy, huh? try it out, take a selfie. this phone’s camera shows and tells all.

you roll your eyes, incredibly annoyed. as if. there are so many issues with that statement that you can’t accredit to supernatural abilities. how would the phone have the power to see the future? unbelievable. 

which is precisely why you shut the phone off and toss it somewhere unknown in your room. you can't help the nagging feeling that it may not be the best idea, but what actual power does this phone have?

whatever entity talking to you could message you through the cell and seemingly return it to you endlessly, but you had reason to believe they needed to talk to you for some reason. it doesn't seem like a good idea to just give in and accept whatever it says thoughtlessly.

although there’s no doubt the phone would appear in your vicinity in a little while again and bother you until you open it, right now you just can’t be arsed to care.

what does it mean, ‘incapable of being loved,’ you hadn’t written romance on the internet to other teens for years to be told this. in fact, no doubt your (few) readers are patiently waiting after your final update several months ago. 

you reminisce on the succinct author’s note you had left at the time:

hey guys, i’m moving schools! i’m going to be busy for a few months, but to be entirely honest. i haven’t been feeling writing for a while. i feel like i don’t know how to write romance at all. maybe if i had a boyfriend lol. but yeah, i’ll see you when i get the inspiration or motivation to write again! love you guys.

you snort, what’s happening to you right now might be a perfect romance plot.

finally, the two of you have arrived at decelis again, deciding to split up after bussing together here ‘for efficiency’

as sunghoon walks away after saying his goodbye, a thought strikes you. although you despised that damn flip phone with a burning passion, you’re just too curious.

so you pull the flip phone out of your backpack and point the camera at his back, wondering to see what his number would be.

you almost drop the phone, because what the actual hell? why did a high-school boy have thousands of people destined to love him? well maybe he'll be famous in the future? but that couldn’t be, you narrow your eyes, sunghoon has already earned quite a bit of those points.

the label attached to sunghoon reads as:

87k/90k

so sunghoon is already famous? but why is he through so many hearts so early? you don’t get a chance to ponder on it further because you see sunghoon turn around in your camera.

shit, shit, shit.

you make a split second decision to pretend you’re taking a selfie, which should be believable given the fact that you’re standing in front of a flower bush.

you pray he’s unable to discern the fact that the camera in the flip phone hinge is currently rotated to the outside, not inside, and make a pouty face at the hinge to try and sell the fact.

soon enough sunghoon turns back around and you let out a sigh of relief, not noticing the smile that had been on his face whilst observing you. before your brief calm can last though, you get a message.

unknown number: believe me now? you can target anyone, but i recommend sim jaeyun.

hold on, hold on, the stupid phone’s moving too fast. you raise your eyebrows, choosing to ignore the first question in your response:

you: who the hell is that?

the phone’s response doesn’t help at all.

unknown number: oh that’s precious. he’s a model at your school. you can also target park sunghoon i guess.

your brows furrow, not liking the idea of using anyone like that.

you: what’s so special about those two?

by now you're pacing back and forth, the conversation causing a spike in anxiety.

unknown number: they’ve never loved anyone. meaning we have no data on them. who knows, you could be the lucky girl ^ - ^

you sigh.

you: what does that have anything to do with me? can’t you use your powers to fix this all?

the response back is incredibly infuriating.

unknown number: it’s out of my hands. there’s nothing as indomitable as the human spirit.

oh, this bitch.

you: but why me? couldn’t someone else do this, like one of the other anomalies idk..

it takes a few seconds to get anything back, but what you see chills you.

unknown number: because someone who can’t be loved has no place in this world.

you narrow your eyes, more infuriated than hurt.

you: why the fuck should i listen to you

it’s as though the air instantly intensifies and the world quiets around you.

unknown number: i’ll give you a reason. move back

you shoot out a quick:

you: what?

before immediately receiving back:

unknown number: now.

now usually this kind of command would irk you into stubbornly ignoring it, but a seriously dreadful feeling settles into your gut. instantly you scramble backwards, tripping into the flower bush.

and just as well because as soon as you do, a motorcycle zooms past, on the sidewalk, tearing into the sound barrier as it breaks record speeds.

your hands tremble and you stare wide eyed in front of you, not even able to comprehend what just happened at first.

you tend to get absorbed in tasks, yes, but there’s no way even you wouldn’t have been able to hear the engine of a motorcycle approaching.

the thought of what would have happened to you if you hadn’t moved chills you to the bone. or if the phone hadn’t decided to warn you, or if it chose a more severe threat. you shudder.

the message is clear: ‘i can get rid of you anytime i want.’

you sigh.

you: okay fine i'll figure it out you piece of shit.

you slam the flip phone shut, not giving the other side a chance to reply. huh, that’s really satisfying, maybe you should switch your actual phone to one of these for that effect.

you sigh in frustration, the happiness and satisfaction from finally getting to glimpse underneath sunghoon’s stoic exterior now completely gone. 

the phone’s words run around in your head, haunting you. there’s still no way you were going to manipulate someone into falling in love with you, but you have to figure something out, and fast.

something has to give, and you hope to hell it won’t be the ground underneath your feet.

you’ve been on edge ever since the motorcycle incident a few days ago, constantly paranoid that someone is following you or set to attack you.

it feels like every day is spent looking over your shoulder, and you are, which is probably why you bump into another student so hard, on the way to find a secluded corner to eat in. 

you feel their hands grasp the sides of your waist to balance you before you yelp and jump back, finally realizing who it is when you do.

“oh gosh, i’m so sorry.”

then, remembering your first encounter you laugh, “looks like i’m the one bumping into you now, huh?”

you expect to see a smile or chuckle in response from the usually genial guy, but instead you're met with jake’s expressionless countenance.

you raise your eyebrows, about to ask if everything is alright, but jake interrupts you.

“sorry, but can we talk?”

you’re flabbergasted at the chill permeating his words, but you nod immediately, sensing the mood shift to something more serious.

jake on the other hand is incredibly frustrated as he walks with a brisk pace to the closest storage closet (again, why are there so many?)

you follow, even more confused now that this is apparently a conversation that has to be done in private.

when you turn after shutting the door, jake looks like he doesn’t want to be here at all, which is hilarious because he’s the one who brought you here?

jake inhales deeply before speaking, “be honest, are you stalking me?”

“what?!” your jaw drops, not entirely believing those words actually came out of his mouth. the notion to you is downright insane, because why would you go around stalking jake of all people?

you shake your head, disturbed, “what are you talking about?”

“i keep seeing you around after that first time we met; it looks innocent and coincidental, but you could easily be staging this. not to mention the phone.”

you have no idea what the second part of your sentence means, so you focus on the first part.

“we’re in a high school? we’re probably just in the same place? dude, i promise i’m not following you around, hell i don’t know how you’ve been seeing me when i haven’t been seeing you.”

seeing his unconvinced expression, you continue, “look, while i think being good enough in something to compete is incredibly cool, why would i be stalking a mathlete? i hate math!”

jake looks at you like you have a few screws loose.

“why would you be stalking me?” he repeats incredulously.

you nod.

“i’m a model. if you’re going to pretend you’re not stalking me, at least have a believable defense.”

now this is just ridiculous, you roll your eyes. “yeah sure. and i’ve sold a million copies of a book.”

not done with berating this liar, you continue, “the only model i’ve heard of going to our school is sim jaeyun!”

while jake was initially dead set on confronting you before this turns out like last time, the situation has just gotten bizarre.

“i’m sim jaeyun.”

“what.”

“that’s me.”

you shake your head, feeling like you’re speaking to a child, “no, you’re jake.”

“yes. that’s my nickname,” jake for his part, also feels like he’s speaking to a child.

he snaps himself out of it, “okay fine, i get all that, but that doesn’t change the fact that you forgot that phone with me and i kept it to give it back to you, but all of a sudden it disappeared? i took it with me and then it disappeared. so either you tried to get it back, or someone else stole it.”

a chill runs through you; you know exactly why the flip phone disappeared from jake’s possession. but there’s no way to explain that without sounding absolutely insane.

so you lie.

“i don’t know man, i’ve never seen that phone in my life. i didn’t even know it was in my backpack, which is why i freaked out a bit.”

you shrug, hoping to sell it.

jake stares at you for over a minute, trying to read your expression and determine if you truly were innocent. he must see what he’s looking for, because he sighs, and his shoulders relax.

“sorry, that was a pretty serious accusation. i just, dealt with a similar situation before and i didn’t react quick enough back then and it had severe consequences.”

you shake your head, “all cool. your evidence was mildly incriminating at least.”

he nods, “yeah, but still…”

“i was wondering,” you hesitate, not sure if asking would be going too far, “why are you alone so much? last time i met you, you were eating alone here for no reason.”

and jake could lie. he could brush it off. he could put up a big smile and let this opportunity to open up pass like every other one that’s come his way. and for a split second he’s about to, but then.

jake sighs. It’s not like anyone would believe the world of an odd, bright-eyed girl over him anyways. so even if you did open your mouth and blab to everyone about your conversation, no harm done, right?

“everyone hangs around me because they have something to gain or they’re impressed by some superficial trait i possess. no one sees me. not for who i am.”

you raise a brow, “which is?”

he pauses, not having expected that question and not entirely having an answer, but his mind flicks to one of his biggest grievances. that everyone only saw a pretty face and underestimated his intelligence. constantly.

“... smart?”

you burst out laughing, prompting a flinch from the teenage model. jake frowns at you, sure he doesn’t expect you to understand that even someone like him can struggle, but this is a little cruel isn’t it?

he voices as much, “hey… i bare my heart out to you, and you laugh at me. i know there are worse things, but–”

you interrupt him with wide eyes, not wanting him to get the wrong idea, “no, sorry! it’s just, when you were talking about being seen, i wasn’t expecting you to name something that’s also superficial.

he adjusts against the metal shelf, pursing his lips. “what do you mean?”

“well, intelligence is also something you’re born with, no?”

jake rolls his eyes, surprising you with his increasingly lax demeanour, “that’s something stupid people say to excuse themselves from learning and improving.”

now this actually prompts some derision from you, coming out in the form of an incredulous snort.

“not quite. you can learn things and grow smarter, yes, but some people are gifted with a natural intelligence. i don’t know, it just doesn’t feel right to use that as a metric when it’s not that simple.”

jake hums, contemplating, “what qualities do you look for in people, then?”

“like,” you pause, “loyalty, passion, dedication, kindness, humour, empathy, patience.”

you take a deep breath to continue, but get interrupted by jake, who’s laughing a little.

“i think i get it, that’s interesting. i’ve never thought of it like that before, but… you’re right.”

you smile, a little smug at coming out of this conversation with the upper hand.

jake, in the meantime, runs over what you’ve just said in his head several times. none of the people he surrounds himself with have a nearly similar line of thinking, and it’s exhausting.

hearing from you that the qualities you’re born with are the ones that don’t matter is a breath of fresh air, and jake can’t go back to the smog after experiencing it.

“hang out with me?” jake blurts before he can think about it.

he stiffens immediately and he rushes to clarify, a little upset at himself for being like this.

“not. like, in a date way. i want to be friends.”

you just give him an odd look, “i didn’t think it would be romantic?”

and it’s a little hypocritical, but that mildly offends jake, because why not?

he pouts, “what, why not? are you too good for someone vain like me?”

you laugh and shake your head, “no, no that’s not it. no one’s ever seen me like that, i mean.”

maybe it’s more of the phone’s words ringing around in your head, yelling at you that you’re unlovable, but it’s not like the phone lied. no one has ever confessed to you, or pursued you romantically.

your mind flashes briefly to the boy who left his number for you, but you shoo the thought away. if he was really interested in you, why didn’t he just speak to you? it wasn’t like you had claws or anything scary.

deep in your musing, you don’t notice the dumbfounded expression on jake’s face. how in the world has no one had a crush on you before? sure, it’s not like jake does either, but he isn’t blind, or stupid.

you were kind and pretty. and probably a bunch of those other qualities you had listed earlier. before he can make any sort of response, the bell rings, startling the two of you.

you gasp, looking at jake with a stink-eye, “you took up my entire lunch?”

“sorry, i’ll make it up to you?” jake responds with a sheepish grin.

you shake your head lightheartedly and turn to leave, exasperated but clearly not upset. before you can turn the knob though you feel jake clasp your wrist.

“wait!” he clears his throat, “add my number? so we can talk. and stuff.”

ah, this is so awkward. it’s been so incredibly long since he has made friends authentically.

you smile and agree. your smile only drops abruptly much later, when you’re in your seat and you realize you’re doing exactly what the flip phone wants. guilt fills your stomach and the idea of any of the pair finding out and thinking this is the only reason you became friends almost kills you where you sit.

although unwillingly, you have made progress on target number one. good thing you don’t notice target number two’s intense stare, because it might have truly taken you out.

sunghoon listens patiently as you explain the intricacies of online books versus published books on your way to the weekly event-planning meeting with your teacher.

except, imagine his surprise when you arrive and instead of their teacher there, waiting to cover what they had accomplished in the past week, there’s a bunch of other students?

you stop speaking at the same time sunghoon freezes, also noting the odd situation. simultaneously, the two of you back out to check the room number again.

nope, it’s the right room. 

the two of you exchange a cautious glance before venturing to enter the room despite the students occupying it.

seemingly noticing the confusion apparent on both your faces, a boy with bright eyes who exudes a sort of feline air, (if that’s possible?!), speaks to you.

“are you two part of the event-planning committee?”

you nod gingerly, still feeling a bit like you’ve stepped into the twilight zone, “yes?”

the end of the word pitches up, coming across as a question rather than a response. the boy just smiles kindly.

“apparently, we’re having a monthly meeting with every class’s representatives,” he explains. 

you feel comfortable enough to lead sunghoon into sitting where the boy is, although there are three others clustered there, not really interested by newcomers. there are also other groups scattered around the empty classroom, but you don’t think inserting yourself in any of them would be a good idea, given that they hadn’t looked up in the least when you entered.

they nod at you when the two of you sit down, but leave the introductions to the boy who spoke. it doesn’t escape your notice that literally all of their gazes hang onto sunghoon for a bit before looking away.

you’re starting to believe there’s some kind of lore, for lack of better words, behind why sunghoon is mildly ostracised amongst the school and yet also has an incredibly high love count.

you tear your gaze away from the other boys, however, when the boy who greeted you speaks.

“i’m jungwon, this is sunoo, this is ni-ki, and this is heeseung,” jungwon gestures to each of the boys respectively, who do some sort of acknowledgement upon being mentioned.

“nice to meet you! i’m y/n,” you pause looking over to sunghoon, who looks like there about a million other places he’d rather be right now, “and this is sunghoon.”

you ignore the gnawing idea that they definitely know who sunghoon is and don’t look too keen on meeting him.

instead, you focus on the bright smile you receive from jungwon, “nice to meet you too, so i guess you’re a second year then?”

he’s most likely referring to the fact that you’re with sunghoon, but you respond without acknowledging it, “yes! i transferred here a couple months ago, though.”

jungwon nods, “makes sense why i haven’t seen you around then, ni-ki here is a transfer too!” 

he ruffles said boy’s hair while he says so, ignoring ni-ki’s yelp and complaining that he’s ruining his styled hair. ni-ki doesn’t retaliate though, too absorbed in whatever game he’s playing on his switch right now.

“so,” you attempt to speak casually, “what are we all waiting for?”

this time it’s sunoo, if you remember correctly, who pipes up, “the teacher who initiated this event!”

he continues with an eye-roll, “real classy of him to be running late after emphasizing how important being on time was.”

you smile, endeared by both of the boys' behaviour. it seems jungwon and his group of friends have a lot of personality. even heeseung, who looks to be on another plane of existence thanks to his zoning out.

ni-ki mutters a curse when he loses the level yet again, shoving the switch into heeseung’s chest petulantly, “fine, you can do it for me.”

heeseung just gives a smug smirk back as he gets to accomplishing what ni-ki was unable to do in your short time in the classroom. now that his attention is free, ni-ki finally gives the two of you a good look.

“so how’d you get drafted onto the committee, volunteered or voluntold?” he waggles his eyebrows slightly, and you smile at the clear attempt to be friendly.

you nudge sunghoon’s hand gently, trying to see if he’d like to answer, but when a second goes by, you speak up instead, not wanting the boy to go unanswered.

“voluntold,” you speak with faux dramatics, satisfied to hear a chuckle from heeseung even as he plays and smiles from the other boys.

“yeah, same,” sunoo mourns, pouting exaggeratedly.

you venture a questioning glance towards sunghoon, curious as to why he’s gone back into his shell. noting that the boys have become absorbed into a conversation that you are evidently welcome to join, but does not centre around you, you pull your phone out to send a message.

you: what’s up with you?

when sunghoon feels a buzz in his pocket, he glances at you curiously, putting the dots together. a small smile makes its home on his face when reading, before he responds.

park sunghoon: Contrary to what you might believe, I still don’t like hanging out with people

park sunghoon: This school is unkind

the kindness thing had sort of become an inside joke between the two of you by now, so you could recognize that he’s being playful, but at the same time an undercurrent of truth seemed to run behind it.

instead, you just send a quick response before visibly putting your phone away.

you: they seem nice though, just give it a try.

sunghoon doesn’t respond, knowing you wouldn’t see it anyway. he does, however, consider the suggestion. he’s entirely conflicted. you don’t know what he’s gone through before you transferred here. at the same time, none of these boys are involved with that incident. 

maybe you’re onto something.

for now though, he stays silent, content to watch you interact and bond with these people instead. even though he’s seen it before, your ease in human connection is truly something astonishing to witness.

it’s a gift not many have, to be able to recognize boundaries and communicate at a level that matches your conversation partner.

to your surprise, it’s heeseung who’s been relatively quiet compared to the younger boys until now who suggests exchanging social media. sunghoon raises a brow, but says nothing from where he’s leaning against a desk.

after you’ve given the boys your account, you’re about to perhaps try and suggest exchanging numbers as well so you could include sunghoon, but before you can say anything, a teacher walks in.

presumably the teacher sunoo had been shading earlier.

he talks about compiling everyone’s efforts so far, and so the next hour is spent basically catching up the entire committee on the progress each team has made towards the festival.

evidently, this does not go as well as expected, because the man listens to each recounting with a slight frown, noting that several teams had been exploring the same things and basically doing tasks that others had already done.

he shakes his head as he speaks, “this structure is very inefficient, we’re repeating work like this. instead, moving forward i’ll be dividing you into teams targeted towards different aspects.”

the teacher goes on to make several divisions, including accommodations towards different disabilities, vendors, decoration, entertainment, and the like.

he hesitates, seemingly making a choice between two equally conflicting options, “you can all choose your own groups, i suppose. based on the people here, each team will have five or six people.”

your eyes immediately find sunghoon’s, who’s done the same, before snapping to the other boys nearby after a few seconds. the agreement that you’d be a team seems to fall even without any words.

in the end, you go up with jungwon to write down all of your names under the ‘promotion’ task force. it seems the conflict you had earlier has been solved as, being a team, the six of you have to exchange numbers to make a group chat anyways.

you smile, beyond elated at the possibility of actually having friends, and not ones who behave strangely like sunghoon and jake.

more than that, though, is happiness at the possibility of sunghoon gaining more connections as well. maybe it’s not your place, but sometimes you look at sunghoon and you feel an immense aura of loneliness. 

and it would make you incredibly happy to see sunghoon happy, to see him learn that kindness isn’t so uncommon. because admittedly, at this point you are friends.

although you’ve started speaking to the other boys more after that fateful meeting, you had reckoned you’re more on the level of acquaintances.

apparently not, because during your wandering (jake had some shoot to go to, leaving you unable to have lunch with him) near the gardens outside, you caught their attention. hell, you didn’t even know they hung out here during lunch time, but you supposed it only made sense considering you had never seen them inside before.

you also hadn’t expected said observation to lead jungwon to calling you to them with a, “hey, y/n, over here!”

you look around in confusion, before pointing at yourself with confusion.

sunoo laughs, “no, the other y/n behind you.”

despite knowing it’s a sarcastic joke, you play along and whip your head to look behind you, and gasp loudly at a supposed second y/n.

a shy smile lights up your face when you hear laughter. so you are funny, you had started to think you had lost it with the way you had remained absolutely friendless for so long. 

you make your way over to the group, desperately hoping they won’t notice you’re alone.

of course, this doesn’t happen.

“where were you going?” ni-ki questions, not unkind, but curious.

you cough, a little embarrassed, “the single friend i’ve managed to make so far has other plans today, so i’ve been abandoned…”

heeseung raises a brow, “i think i saw sunghoon sitting alone by the west end entrance earlier though?”

you shake your head, a little embarrassed, “not him, we’re friends, but we’ve never really had lunch together because i don’t know if he wants to?”

jungwon nods with understanding, “he’s always been a bit of a lone wolf, i was surprised to see him so comfortable with you at the meeting.”

“comfortable?” you laugh a bit, thinking he’s making a joke, but no, the boy is serious.

“well, yeah, usually sunghoon’s in a bad mood.” 

he mutters an ‘understandably,’ but then raises his voice again, “but he seemed very calm and at peace. i don’t know.”

jungwon shrugs slightly, ending off with, “just my thoughts.”

sunoo watches the exchange with keen eyes, noting your demeanour and reaction to all of this.

he brings out a bright smile to speak, “anyway, forget that for now, sit with us! now heeseung won’t look like a creep hanging out with first years despite being a third year.”

heeseung yelps with indignation, “hey! if i recall correctly, ni-ki over here is the one who begged me to join you guys. i have third year friends too!”

ni-ki rushes to defend himself, “because you’re the captain of the basketball team! if they see me hanging out with you, they’ll think ‘oh, he used to be captain’s friend’ when we’re deciding the captain next year.”

heeseung shakes his head, “see, they just use you.”

you hold your hand out for a fist bump from the teen, laughing at the third year’s scandalized expression, “he’s just trying to be a nepo-baby. i don’t see an issue.”

jungwon laughs, “that’s not– well, i guess.”

you have an incredibly enjoyable lunch with the boys, sunoo making sure to let you know you’re always welcome to eat with them. they’d usually be out here, but if they aren’t you should shoot a text and they’d let you know where they are.

as he speaks, a chime comes from your backpack, and it’s all you can do to stop yourself from pulling the flip phone phone out and smashing it on the concrete.

you know it’s that stupid phone because yours is currently in your pocket. while you’re tempted to see whatever taunt the entity has left you now, you’re not keen on shooting your blood pressure through the roof.

so there it lies, in your backpack, ignored as you laugh along with the boys’ jokes and converse with them.

life at decelis is finally looking good.

despite the boys’ insistence that sunghoon seems to be comfortable with you, you can’t shake off the fear of bothering him.

sure, they think he looks like he enjoys being in your presence, but considering what you know about sunghoon, you’re unsure. which is why the next time jake’s unable to have lunch together (another photoshoot.) and you’re left alone, you hem and haw.

conflicted between sitting next to sunghoon or sending the boys a text like they had encouraged you to do, instead you end up doing neither and glare holes into sunghoon’s lunch.

unfortunately, as anyone would, sunghoon notices the intense gaze being levelled at him and catches your eye, startling you. he raises an eyebrow, both amused and exasperated by your focus.

you shake your head as sort of a ‘it’s nothing, disregard.’

of course, sunghoon doesn’t care and he gestures you over anyways. you sigh, well whether you like it or not the choice is made for you now.

you make your way over to sunghoon’s desk, trying hard not to focus on your fellow classmates’ curious eyes and whispers. yah, sunghoon is such a headache.

he doesn’t speak even when you arrive, staring at you until you pull a chair to sit across from him at his desk.

“so what was the laser focus for,” sunghoon’s tone seems to be teasing, but you can’t exactly discern if you’re right.

you mumble, “was wondering if we should use this time to speak,” and then you notice his blank stare and panic, backtracking a bit.

“i mean. about planning for the festival.”

“planning,” somehow sunghoon doesn’t seem convinced and you don’t want to figure out why that is.

you still don’t meet his eyes, “right.”

“without the rest of our team,” ah, there it is.

you nervously laugh it off though, “yeah, that’s why i was considering it, we’d have to find the others as well.”

you wonder how speaking to sunghoon had seemed so easy before, when now it felt like his eyes are capable of gazing uncomfortably deep into your soul. he looks around the classroom, noticing several people jerk their attention away after being caught, and rolls his eyes.

sunghoon gets up, which wow, you knew maybe you aren’t the best company, but that’s a tad rude?

to your surprise however, he looks expectantly at you when he’s standing.

“let’s go for a walk,” sunghoon finally says when it seems the brain waves he’s sending your way aren’t being received.

you nod dumbly, a little stunned as you follow him out of the classroom.

when you’re a good distance away and now roaming the sparse halls, sunghoon finally speaks.

“there were way too many people paying attention,” he sighs, “i’ll never understand the interest in other people’s business.”

you bite back the retort that it’s less other people’s business, and more his business they’re interested in, fearing this talkative (for him) mood sunghoon’s in will disappear.

and despite your initial reasoning that this interaction is for the event, you don’t bring up the planning at all, instead choosing to mention that your neighbours got a dog instead, and that it kept you up at night.

sunghoon’s eyes widen slightly at your choice of topic being completely unrelated to the festival, but he chooses to simply respond to what you’ve said instead.

and so you make rounds, talking about anything but the event. embarrassingly enough, you even spot your team members at one point, although sunghoon doesn’t notice them and it seems jungwon’s the only one who notices you, sunoo being in an animated discussion with ni-ki and heeseung being missing.

he smirks at the two of you, while you just narrow your eyes, daring him to say something. jungwon shakes his head and looks away, letting you off the hook for now, but definitely planning on bringing it up later.

well. that’s later you’s problem. for now you can relax and enjoy the rich timber of sunghoon’s voice along with the admittedly pleasant decelis atmosphere.

you guess its inherent clique-y-ness isn’t so bad once you actually have people to hang out with.

now that you have sunghoon to hang out with. you’ve spoken and interacted with sunghoon countless times over the past month, but this is the first time you feel that the circumstances with the event planning have nothing to do with it. like sunghoon actually enjoys your company.

so of course you have to open your big mouth and ruin that.

in an attempt to prolong the conversation, even as the toll of the bell looms closer, you say the following:

“by the way, did you know there’s a skating competition happening at the rink near decelis this weekend?”

immediately, it’s as if the vitality has been drained from sunghoon.

he freezes, then when you stop walking as well, he puts on a neutral expression but it looks wrong. forced.

“really? that’s… cool.”

you furrow your brows, “is something wrong?”

and wow, that’s something sunghoon’s wanted someone to care about for years. for just one person to look at park sunghoon and not see an ice skater, incapable of (forbidden from) messing up. for them to see a human being pushed to the brink, desperate to live up to the expectations.

just for someone to ask, even.

he chuckles sardonically, “no. yes. i don’t know.”

“do you want to… talk about it?” you venture tentatively.

sunghoon shakes his head, “no.”

but then he adds on after a few seconds, “not now at least.”

right before you’re set to enter the classroom, sunghoon grasps your shoulder and pulls you back gently to mutter. you stiffen, his mouth is way too close to your ear, it feels intimate.

“thank you for asking,” he pauses, “and caring.”

before you can compose a response, he lets go of your shoulder and brushes past you to rush inside.

you grasp at your ear robotically, eyes wide, and inexplicably flustered. you didn’t know why you felt so affected, but it’s a euphoric feeling.

after several last minute commitments and cancellations, it’s finally time for you to eat lunch with jake again. admittedly, while you want to get pissed off at the guy for blowing you off several times in a row, you can’t.

in your opinion, it’s understandable that he doesn’t have much time to dedicate outside of his literal job. although with how often he’s running off and missing school, you’re surprised it’s still legal.

aren’t there some child labour laws that should be getting enforced?

regardless, it’s been around a week since you’ve last seen jake, and you’re not ashamed to admit you’re excited to see him again.

you wait in yet another of decelis’ storage closets, this time you and jake actually planning to meet there instead of happening to meet or getting dragged there.

while you wait you decide to examine your surroundings with a bored gaze. nothing interesting, except for the fine film of dust coating everything and causing you to sneeze every five seconds.

it seems this closet is especially unused.

unfortunately, jake enters during a loud sneezing fit and it’s evident on his face that it’s all he can do to stop himself from bursting into laughter at your state. 

he shakes his head, amused, “i think we should probably go out to eat.”

“wait no, i’m fine! i just–” you interrupt yourself with a thunderous sneeze, “need to get used to it…”

this time the gaze he levels at you is deadpan, as sort of a ‘really…?’

but to save you from embarrassment, jake disregards the blatant lie, “it’s fine, i forgot to pack a lunch anyway. let’s go.”

you sigh, getting off the floor and only mildly cringing at the dirt that’s collected upon you during your stay in the space. maybe jake is on to something; you can only imagine how many diseases you’re possibly contracting.

“so, where were you thinking?” you ask curiously, struggling a bit to keep pace with jake’s speed.

if sunghoon is like the winter: cool, arid, and measured, jake is the summer: energetic, loud, and headlong.

you wonder what would happen if the two were to meet, a friendship for the ages, or an intense showdown? of the unstoppable force versus immovable object kind. you’re pondering who would be which when you’re pulled back to reality by a hand waving in front of your face.

“hellooo?” this doesn’t seem to be jake’s first time calling you.

you respond quickly, embarrassed, “yes, sorry?”

he snorts, “man, i thought you were just quiet because you were hungry, but you were on a whole other planet just now.”

any possible protest is cut off when you realize the two of you have actually arrived at some of the mom-and-pop restaurants that had set up near decelis, attracted by the hub of student activity and guaranteed customers.

you muse, “hmm, will we make it back in time?”

“doesn’t matter,” jake’s smile is something between mischievous and eager, “what’s one skipped class?”

you smack his arm slightly, “you of all people have no right to say that, you’ve probably attended what, six classes so far?”

when jake gasps in mock offense, claiming he’s not that bad, you give him an unimpressed stare.

“do you even know your teacher’s name?” you squint at the boy.

“of course, it’s…” jake flounders, before whining, “you gave me a hard one.”

“sure i did,” you roll your eyes, “have you chosen what you want to eat yet?”

jake’s responding silence tells you everything you need to know, his sheepish gaze meeting yours when you glance at him.

“what’s good here?” he ventures.

you shake your head, exasperated, “i bet you hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.”

“i heard their yangnyeom chicken slaps, though,” you add on, deciding to grant him mercy.

jake hums in acknowledgement, but he looks a bit… hesitant.

then it clicks, “wait, are you not allowed to eat stuff like that?”

he is a model after all…

seemingly caught, jake looks at you in surprise, before rushing to deny, “no! if it’s just once…”

you shake your head, “i was planning on just eating this later, but i had some bibimbap for lunch if you want to eat that?”

it would be considerably healthier after all.

and if you had any doubts earlier, the exhale of relief that jake lets out is enough to tell you that you made the right choice. 

(unfortunately you lose in another battle for paying for your food; although this time you genuinely feel you have no grounds as jake insists it's the least he can do after taking your lunch. touché.)

when you eventually receive your order and settle down at an outdoor picnic bench with jake, you pull out your tupperware, a pair of chopsticks, and a spoon to give to him while speaking.

“it’s really not my business, but are you okay with such a strict diet?”

jake shrugs, “it’s alright. it’s not like i never eat anything i want to, but sometimes it is frustrating.”

you look at him curiously, setting up your own food, “you like modelling in general, though?”

jake pauses, thinking it through thoroughly for the first time in a while, “... the verdict is still up. it can be very satisfying. and yet i can’t decide if it’s worth the sacrifices it comes with. this shit tastes so good by the way, did your mom make this?”

you laugh at the dichotomy between his dialogues, only laughing harder when jake sends a confused puppy-esque look your way. 

eventually upon calming down, you let him know, “actually, i made it. and by sacrifices do you mean like. missing out on school?”

jake’s jaw drops open slightly, “no way, you made this?”

you narrow your eyes, “what, you don’t think i can?”

he laughs, “no it’s just… you should open a restaurant or something. it tastes like home.”

the wistful light in his eyes leads you to believe you should probably leave the earlier line of questioning alone, so you don’t bring it up.

still, after a few moments of eating in quiet peace, jake speaks up, “it’s less school and more… i miss having friends. i used to be on the football team in middle school, and we would all goof around. i can’t get that anywhere now.”

“nowhere?”

he sighs, “you know, i meant it when i said people only see a pretty face, earlier. if guys aren’t pissed off at me because their crush likes me, they’re jealous that i get good grades. or some other inane bullshit.”

you consider his words, before speaking quietly, “i think you just have to find the right people.”

“believe me,” jake rests his cheek onto one of his palms, leaning an elbow on the table, “i’ve tried.”

and maybe it’s not your place, but you cautiously suggest, “actually, the friends i’ve made here have been nothing but kind and nonjudgmental.”

now jake is looking at you with suspicion, “you’ve only been here a couple months! and just a little bit ago you were saying you had no friends. zero.”

you roll your eyes, “well you don’t have to rub it in. and yeah, i probably don’t know the extent of their character, but sometimes you can just tell. the kindness someone shows you when they have absolutely no reason to, it sticks. and also i’ve been friends with one of them for over a month now!”

the boy mutters, “very impressive,” with sarcasm, but he seriously considers what you’re saying.

sure, you could be wrong, but the feeling you're describing is the same one he had about you. that ‘this is a good person, and i’ll remember them for the rest of my life.’

jake gives in, “alright, introduce me to your friends.”

CLICK ME TO CONTINUE READING

TAGS.

@ashtxrie @mioons @won4kiss @txnwvc @mygnolia @vivi-nin @laylasbunbunny @coqhee @boyfhee @sungbyhoon @viagumi @strxwbloody @dreamiestay @doublebunv @hoodiebangtan @lol6sposts @neos127 @capri-cuntz @junislqve @itulipy @woorcve

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐄 - 𝐒𝐉𝐘

▏pairings. ROCKSTAR!JAKE x REPORTER!READER

▏desc. JAKE is sick of everyone judging him. He’s famous, loves to party and loves to fuck even more, what’s so wrong with that? When a Goody-two shoes reporter makes a highly criticizing article about him and his bandmates they don’t take it very well, enacting a plan to get her to fall in love with him and change her story.

▏warnings. SMUT mdni, partying, drug use, alcohol use, they’re in strip clubs a lot. Ft, the members of enhypen as SHOUT OUT (the rock band).

▏W.C. ESTIMATING 12k + words

COMING SOON.

(. if you’d like to be tagged reply and i’ll tag you IF you have your age in your bio. MDNI. This might take a week or more to come out its going to be a long fic bear with me- loosely based off the ask that @ikeuverse sent, i’ll still be making a smaller one shot angst of all the members but after talking with you i got the idea for this! Thank youuuu).

Joint Dream ; Lee Heeseung

synopsis ; What if we lived in a world where dreams were connected? Where my thoughts became yours. And yours became mine. Where a simple fantasy that ran through your unconscious mind was shared with someone else. And neither of you had any idea that your dreams were connected as one.

In which yn and heeseung have the same sex dream about each other and are forced to get through a long shift not knowing the other person shared the same dream.

pairing ; coworker!fem reader x coworker!heeseung

genre ; smut

warnings ; smut, mdni. hair pulling, degrading, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), inappropriate relationship, infidelity, oral fem&male receiving, praising, sex in the workplace, heeseung is downbad, swearing.

do not read if any of this makes you uncomfortable. minors do not interact.

wc ; 7.7k

I’d strongly advise you read the teaser so you can read the dream. you can find that when you click here

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, the cool morning light filtering through your bedroom window. The dream from last night clung to your thoughts like a stubborn fog, making it hard to focus. Every time you tried to push it away, it resurfaced—Heeseung’s hands, his breath on your neck, the way he’d looked at you with such raw desire. You shook your head, trying to dispel the images, but they only seemed to grow clearer.

Across town, Heeseung was standing under the steaming spray of the shower, his hand pressed against the cold tile as water cascaded down his back. He’d woken up with the dream still fresh in his mind, the memory of your body pressed against his in the boardroom sending a jolt of arousal through him. He bit his lip, trying to shake the feeling, but the more he thought about it, the more turned on he became. His hand twitched, itching to do something about it, but he forced himself to stay still. He was married, for God’s sake. But even as he reminded himself of that, the thought of his wife barely registered—just a distant echo compared to the vivid images of you.

You pulled a pair of black dress pants from your closet, laying them on the bed as you debated what to wear on top. Normally, getting dressed for work was a mindless task, something you did without much thought. But today, after that dream, it felt different. You didn’t want to dress too provocatively—Heeseung was married, after all, and it’s not like you were going to seduce him—but you also didn’t want to seem like you were behaving out of the ordinary. You settled on a white long-sleeved shirt, hoping it struck the right balance.

Heeseung turned off the shower, running a towel through his hair as he stepped out, the cool air hitting his skin doing little to quell the heat still coursing through him. He stood there for a moment, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he shake this feeling? He tried to think about his wife, but even the thought of her didn’t stir the guilt it used to. Instead, all he could see was you—how you’d looked in that dream, the way your body had responded to his touch. He cursed under his breath, forcing himself to focus on the day ahead.

In your room, you slipped into the black waistcoat, adjusting it until it sat perfectly. The formal look of it made you feel more grounded, more in control. But even as you dressed, your mind kept drifting back to Heeseung. How were you going to face him today, knowing what you’d dreamt? Your heart raced at the thought of seeing him, of being in the same room with him after what had happened in your subconscious. The images from the dream were still so vivid, so real, it was hard to believe it hadn’t actually happened.

Heeseung pulled on a pair of black dress pants, followed by a crisp white button-up shirt. His movements were precise, almost mechanical, as he tried to suppress the arousal that kept surging up every time his thoughts drifted back to you. He fastened each button with deliberate care, but even that wasn’t enough to keep his mind from wandering. His wife’s voice, faint and tired, reached him from the bedroom. “You don’t care about us anymore, do you?” she mumbled, half-asleep but clearly hurt. Heeseung froze for a moment, listening to the words, but they barely registered. He knew she was right—there had been a distance between them for a while now. But instead of feeling guilt, all he felt was a dull, muted acknowledgment. He didn’t care as much as he should, and the realization didn’t bother him like it used to.

In the kitchen, Heeseung’s wife was pouring coffee when he walked in, her expression distant. She didn’t look up when she spoke, her voice flat and resigned. “Have a good day,” she said, the words empty, merely being said out of habit rather than genuine care. “You too,” Heeseung replied, his tone just as hollow. As he grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door, he glanced back at her, but the connection they once had seemed to have withered away. Whatever was missing, he didn’t have the energy or desire to find it again.

You grabbed your bag, checking your reflection one last time before heading out the door. The nerves were still there, but you tried to push them down, reminding yourself that it was just a dream. However, deep down you knew it had changed how you saw Heeseung. As you locked the door behind you, your heart pounded with anticipation, the thought of seeing him today sending a thrill through you that you couldn’t quite shake.

Heeseung climbed into his car, his mind still buzzing with thoughts of you, of the dream that had left him aching for something he knew he shouldn’t want. As he drove towards the office, his grip on the steering wheel tightened, the familiar route passing by in a blur as he mentally prepared himself for the day ahead. He tried to think about the project, about the work waiting for him, but it was useless. The dream had taken hold of him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape it

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You stepped into the elevator, the familiar hum of filling the small space as you pressed the button for your office floor. The doors began to slide shut when you heard a voice calling out, just before the doors sealed completely.

“Hold it, please!”

Instinctively, you reached out to press the ‘open’ button, the doors pausing their descent before slowly reversing. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was. Heeseung stepped into the elevator, his pace quickening to close the distance before the doors could shut again. He offered you a grateful smile, his hand brushing yours as he reached for the button panel, sending an unexpected jolt through you.

“Thanks,” Heeseung said, his voice smooth, though there was an underlying tension you couldn’t quite place.

“Sure,” you managed to reply, your voice quieter than you intended. You could feel the atmosphere in the elevator shift as the doors finally closed, sealing the two of you inside the small, confined space.

The silence that followed was thick and heavy. You stood side by side, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, the scent of his cologne enveloping you. Your mind raced, replaying the vivid details of your dream, trying to push them out of your mind. You had never felt so uneasy around him before, and the tension in the air only made it worse.

Heeseung, meanwhile, was doing his best to keep his thoughts under control. The memory of his dream lingered at the edges of his mind, and every time he glanced at you, he felt an odd mix of confusion and guilt. He didn’t understand why he had dreamed about you, of all people, and the lingering effects of the dream unsettled him. But he refused to let it show, keeping his expression neutral and his demeanor calm.

When you and Heeseung first started at the company, it was immediately clear that you were both cut from the same cloth—ambitious, driven, and determined to make a name for yourselves. You joined the company on the same day, and from the outset, there was a natural chemistry between you. You quickly became each other’s unofficial competition, constantly pushing one another to do better, to reach higher. But it wasn’t the kind of rivalry that bred resentment. If anything, it brought you closer together.

In those early days, there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. You knew that Heeseung would work just as hard as you would, and you respected him for it. Heeseung, in turn, admired your tenacity and sharp mind. The competition between you was light-hearted, almost playful at times. You’d tease each other over who could land the biggest client or who could draft the most airtight proposal, but it was always in good fun. There was a certain flirtatiousness in your banter, but it never crossed the line into anything inappropriate. It was just the way you interacted—two people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, who relished the challenge of trying to outdo one another.

There were countless late nights spent in the office, just the two of you, with takeout containers strewn across your desks and a few empty coffee cups lined up as you pored over financial statements or budget proposals. Those nights had a certain intimacy to them, but it was always rooted in your mutual respect and shared goals. There were moments when the teasing would get a little more personal—a compliment on how sharp Heeseung looked in his suit, or a playful jab from him about how you always seemed to have the right answer at the right time. But it was all part of the dance, the rhythm you’d fallen into over the years.

And now, after years of working side by side, something had changed. The friendship that had once been so easy had become tainted with an unfamiliar tension, an awkwardness that neither of you knew how to address. It was as if the dynamic that had once defined your relationship had been thrown off balance, leaving you both unsure of how to resolve this.

The numbers on the elevator panel ticked up slowly, each floor feeling like an eternity. Heeseung glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noticing the way you kept your gaze fixed forward, determined not to meet his eyes. He wondered if you were just as uncomfortable as he was, but quickly dismissed the thought. There was no way you could know what had been going on in his head last night.

“So… how was your weekend?” Heeseung asked, his voice light but slightly strained. It was a desperate attempt to break the silence, to inject some normalcy into the situation.

“It was… fine,” you replied, forcing a smile. “Pretty quiet, actually.”

He nodded, his expression neutral. “Yeah, same here. Quiet.”

The conversation died as quickly as it started, the tension between you both thickening the air. The elevator continued its slow ascent, the atmosphere growing more stifling with each passing second. You could feel your pulse quicken, the proximity to Heeseung almost unbearable as you tried to focus on anything other than the dream.

Heeseung shifted slightly, trying to focus on anything but the lingering tension. He had worked with you for years, and there had never been anything like this between you before. The dream had thrown him off balance, and he didn’t know how to regain his footing. The memory of his wife’s words that morning echoed faintly in his mind, but he pushed it aside, refusing to let it distract him any further.

The elevator dinged softly as it reached your floor, the doors sliding open with a mechanical whoosh. You practically leapt out, eager to escape the suffocating tension, but you felt Heeseung’s presence close behind, his footsteps copying yours as you made your way to your respective desks.

As you reached your desk, you let out a shaky breath, one you hadn’t known you were holding. You sat down in your chair, opening your laptop in hopes that work would be enough of a distraction. Across the room, Heeseung settled into his chair, his face a mask of calm professionalism, but beneath the surface, his thoughts were anything but.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

The office was quiet, the usual buzz of activity replaced by the soft hum of machines left running through the night. The last of the overhead lights dimmed as their colleagues packed up and headed out, offering quick farewells to you and Heeseung. You smiled and nodded in return, though your thoughts were far from the work you were about to dive into.

Your mind kept drifting back to the dream throughout your entire work day. The memory of it made your cheeks flush even now, hours later. It wasn’t just the vividness of the dream that lingered—it was the way it had sparked something new in you. You stole a glance at him, wondering if he could sense the awkwardness you felt or if you were giving away too much with your lingering looks.

But Heeseung was as calm and composed as ever. He leaned casually against his desk, his posture relaxed as he chatted with a colleague. His voice was smooth, his expression unreadable, revealing nothing of what might be going on in his mind. If he had any idea about the dream that had shaken you, he didn’t show it. Yet, beneath your nerves, there was a strange, new pull toward him—something the dream had awakened.

"Ready to get started?" His voice was steady, and confident, as he approached you.

"Yeah, let’s do this," you replied, hoping your own voice didn’t betray the nervousness you felt.

As you settled into the now-empty office, the silence between you and Heeseung stretched, filled only by the quiet clicking of keyboards and the distant sounds of the city outside. You tried to focus on the work at hand, but your thoughts kept straying back to the dream—how real it had felt, how much it had affected you. More than anything, you were startled by how much you had enjoyed it, and how much it had made you see Heeseung in a different light.

Every time you glanced at him, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, but he gave nothing away. His movements were fluid and assured, his focus seemingly unshakeable. He occasionally offered you a small, reassuring smile, as if everything was perfectly normal. But there was a newfound awareness in the air, something unspoken yet undeniably present.

But beneath that calm exterior, Heeseung was battling thoughts he couldn’t shake. The dream he’d had the night before was still fresh in his mind—an unexpected and vivid encounter with you that left him feeling uneasy. Despite the unease, he couldn’t deny that the dream had enticed him. It had stirred something within him that he hadn’t anticipated—a secret attraction he now found himself struggling to ignore.

Still, Heeseung was an expert at keeping his emotions in check. His demeanor remained collected, his focus on the task at hand. He wouldn’t let a stray dream affect his professionalism. But as the night wore on, the guilt started fading away and the attraction mixed with his own selfish desires lingered.

“Do you have the financial report for Q1?” Heeseung’s voice broke through the silence, his eyes scanning the documents in front of him, as if drowning himself in numbers could chase away the thoughts that kept resurfacing. You had the report he’d requested right in front of you, but every time he spoke, it felt like your brain was short-circuiting. You stared at the title on the report, trying to focus on anything other than the remnants of the dream that refused to leave your mind.

“Yeah, sorry,” you mumbled, passing him the stapled papers. You attempted to refocus on your own work, your fingers tapping across the keyboard, but your eyes kept drifting back to Heeseung—the way he bit his bottom lip when he was deep in thought, the way his eyes narrowed as he concentrated, and then there was the wedding band he kept twisting around his ring finger.

It was shameful, you knew, to be thinking like this about a colleague, especially a married one.

But Heeseung’s thoughts weren’t much different from your own. It was shameful for him to be stealing glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking, his thoughts drifting back to the dream he couldn’t shake. He prided himself on his self-control, on resisting temptation, but as he watched you from across the desk, the memory of that godforsaken dream kept creeping back. His gaze flickered briefly to the hallway, where the boardroom from his dream lay just out of sight.

“Have you ever dreamt about work?” Heeseung asked suddenly, the question slipping out before he could think better of it. It was a risky move, bringing up his dream of all things, but something compelled him to broach the topic. He wasn’t sure what he hoped to achieve by mentioning it—it wasn’t as though he could come right out and say what was really on his mind.

The question caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily frozen. Why would he bring up dreams right now of all times?

“Yeah… last night, actually.” You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks as you responded, your fingers pausing their movement on the keyboard. “But I can’t really remember what it was about.”

Like Heeseung, you felt an inexplicable urge to keep the conversation going, as if talking about it might somehow dissolve the tension in the air. Maybe if you opened the door to the subject, it would help you forget the dream altogether. But as the images of the dream grew sharper in your mind, you felt the familiar pull of desire gnawing at you. “Me too, actually… something to do with the boardroom.”

Your mind raced as Heeseung spoke. Had you accidentally said something? Had someone somehow found out about your dream? You knew it was impossible. You hadn’t told a soul, and you were certain you hadn’t slipped up. Yet, it felt like he was reading your thoughts, like he knew exactly what was tormenting you. Anxiety twisted in your chest, but it was mixed with an unexpected surge of adrenaline, making your pulse quicken.

In Heeseung’s mind, a similar conflict was raging. The thought of his wife, once a grounding presence, had faded into the background. He’d worked alongside you for years, and though he’d always harbored a subtle, unspoken attraction, he had never let it show. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension, making it feel as if you were strangers who had only just met each other.

Heeseung knew he was venturing into dangerous territory. He was fully aware of the risks, of the line he was dangerously close to crossing. He’d always prided himself on his self-control, on keeping his professional and personal lives separate. But the curiosity, the temptation, was growing too strong to ignore. “Remember when we first started?” he began, his voice taking on a nostalgic tone. “We were chasing clients like crazy, spending nearly every day and night in this office drafting proposals.”

“Of course I remember,” you replied, a small, almost forced laugh escaping your lips. “Your wife saw me as a threat because she thought you wanted me,” you added, trying to keep the mood light, though inside you winced at the mention of his partner. It was a clumsy attempt to deflect the rising tension, but it only made the air between you feel even heavier.

Heeseung’s eyes darkened, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. He knew he shouldn’t make an advancement towards you. But it’s like he had lost all control of himself. “Aren’t you though?” he asked, his voice low and measured, each word carrying a weight that hung between you. The question took you by surprise, leaving you momentarily speechless as a jolt of unease settled in your stomach. What could he possibly mean by that?

“W-what are you talking about?” you stammered, hating the way your voice faltered. You mentally cursed yourself for letting your nerves show, for giving him a glimpse of just how much his words had affected you. The tension in the room was palpable now, thick and suffocating. It was as if the long hours of work and accumulated stress had cracked open something between you, something neither of you were fully prepared to face. Yet, there was no denying the undercurrent of desire that had been simmering beneath the surface, threatening to boil over.

Heeseung leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper that sent a thrill through you. “Are you sure you don’t remember what the dream was about?” His chair inched closer, closing the distance between you, his eyes never leaving yours. They were searching, probing, as if trying to unlock the secrets you were so desperately trying to keep hidden. Your heart pounded in your chest, the room suddenly feeling too small, too intimate.

“Because ever since I woke up from my dream… God, I’ve wanted to go back to it over and over. I haven’t wanted something this badly since—”

“The Decelis deal,” you interrupted, finishing his sentence with a voice steadier than you felt. The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and for a moment, silence filled the space between you. When your eyes finally met his, you saw the recognition in his gaze, the silent confirmation that your worst fears were true. Every piece of the puzzle clicked into place, and with it, the undeniable truth: Heeseung had the same dream. The realization sent a shockwave through you, leaving you breathless and reeling.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as you stared into Heeseung’s eyes, the unspoken truth hanging heavy in the air between you. The world outside your small bubble ceased to exist—the office, your responsibilities, and even the boundaries that had once kept you in check all faded into the background. It was just the two of you, standing on the line of something dangerous, something that could change everything. The tension was unbearable, and yet, neither of you moved, neither of you willing to be the first to break the fragile silence.

But then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Heeseung leaned in, his eyes never leaving yours. The space between you seemed to vanish in an instant, and before you could fully process what was happening, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was tentative at first, as though he was giving you a chance to pull away, to stop this before it went too far. But when you didn’t, when you instead leaned into him, his hesitation vanished. Heeseung’s hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss until it was all-consuming.

You melted into him, your body responding instinctively, as though this was what it had been waiting for all along. The kiss was everything you hadn’t known you needed—intense, overwhelming, and utterly perfect. It was nothing like the dream; it was better. So much better. The reality of it, the warmth of his lips, the way he tasted, the way his body pressed against yours, all of it was far more intoxicating than anything your mind could have conjured up while you slept.

Without breaking the kiss, Heeseung’s hands moved to your waist, gripping you firmly as he tugged you from your chair onto his lap. The sudden shift made your breath catch, your legs straddling him as he pulled you even closer. The feel of his body beneath you, strong and solid, sent a jolt of electricity through you, heightening the intensity of the moment.

Your hands rested on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath the fabric of his shirt. Heeseung groaned softly against your lips, the sound vibrating through you, igniting a fire that burned hotter than anything you’d felt before. Every thought of professionalism, of the consequences, of his marriage, vanished as you lost yourself in the moment.

The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, as though you were both trying to make up for lost time, for the months, years even, of holding back. There was no more room for restraint, only the overwhelming need to be closer, to feel more. The way you fit together felt natural, as though you’d been doing this for years, and yet, it was all new, exhilarating in a way that left you dizzy and craving more.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together as you tried to steady your racing hearts. The room was still spinning, the weight of what had just happened starting to settle in, but neither of you spoke. Words felt unnecessary, trivial even, compared to what you had just shared.

All you could think about was how right it had felt, how much better this was than any dream. The reality of Heeseung’s touch, his kiss, was more than you had ever imagined it could be, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you had ever gone so long without it.

Heeseung’s eyes met yours again, and this time, there was no confusion, no hesitation. Just a mutual understanding, a shared acknowledgment of what you both wanted, and a silent agreement that this was only the beginning.

Your need for more was undeniable as you leaned in, eager to reconnect your lips with his. The kiss was charged with desire, a release of the pent-up tension that had been simmering all day. As your lips moved against Heeseung’s, you could barely contain yourself. “I want you so bad,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need. His eyes fluttered open at your words, and you could feel the effect they had on him, the tension in his dress pants growing as you straddled him.

“Just one kiss and you’re already acting like a desperate slut for me?” Heeseung’s voice was low, teasing, as a smirk tugged at his lips. His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that contrasted the roughness of his words. The contrast sent a thrill through you, and you found yourself nodding slowly, acknowledging the desire he had ignited deep within you.

“Please, Seung, I need you.” Your plea was all the encouragement he needed. In one swift motion, he hooked his hands under your thighs and lifted you effortlessly as he stood. He carried you across the room, your heart racing as he moved towards the boardroom—the very place that had been haunting both of your dreams all day. “Oh, baby… don’t worry. I’ll give you what you need,” he murmured, his voice a promise that sent a shiver down your spine.

As soon as you entered the room, Heeseung set you down on the polished wooden surface of the table, his hands sliding from under your thighs to your waist. His movements were deliberate, slow, as he began to unbutton your waistcoat. He knew exactly what he was doing, taking his time as if savoring every second. His smirk only widened as he watched your patience wear thin, your hands moving to help him, pulling off the waistcoat and then your shirt, tossing them both aside in your haste.

Heeseung’s amusement was evident, but there was a hunger in his eyes as he took in your eagerness. Even as your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, your desperation to feel his skin against yours was clear. His shirt soon joined yours on the floor, leaving the two of you exposed, the intensity of the moment amplified by the shared vulnerability. “God, you’re perfect,” Heeseung whispered, his voice filled with genuine admiration as his hand came up to cup one of your breasts through your bra.

He leaned in again, capturing your lips in a kiss that was different from the others. This one was unhurried, sensual, a deep connection that sealed the unspoken bond between you. “I think I need to show you just how perfect you are,” he mumbled against your lips, his breath warm and intoxicating. You nodded frantically, the anticipation almost too much to bear as he gently guided you down onto your back.

The cool surface of the table met your skin, sending a shiver through you as Heeseung’s fingers deftly worked at the waistband of your dress pants. He took his time, slowly undoing the button and zipper, his eyes never leaving yours as he slid the fabric down your legs. Heeseung was in no hurry; he was savoring every moment, every inch of your skin that was revealed to him.

Heeseung was on cloud nine, his desire for you overwhelming. He had never felt anything like this before, not even with his wife. It was as if his entire world had shifted, and now, all that mattered was you.

He leaned over your body, pressing a trail of kisses along your stomach, each one setting your nerves alight. As he worked his way down, his lips reached the edge of your panties. With a playful glint in his eye, he bit onto the delicate fabric, dragging it down to your knees, his gaze locked on yours the entire time.

Heeseung was like something out of your deepest fantasies, a vision that put every other experience to shame. Even the simple act of undressing you felt charged with an intoxicating sensuality. Before you could fully process it, Heeseung’s lips brushed against your clit, a light, teasing kiss that sent a jolt of pleasure through you, making your breath hitch.

Heeseung’s lips hovered just above your clit, his warm breath ghosting over your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. The anticipation was maddening, the tension in your body coiling tighter with each passing second. Heeseung was teasing you, savoring the moment as his eyes stayed locked on yours, filled with an intense hunger that made your pulse race.

Slowly, he dipped his head, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your clit. The sensation was electric, sending a shockwave through your entire body. A soft gasp escaped your lips, your back arching slightly off the wooden surface in response. Heeseung smirked against you, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you.

Without warning, his tongue flicked out, tracing a slow, deliberate circle around your clit. The pressure was just right, enough to make you moan, your hands instinctively reaching down to grip the edge of the table. Heeseung’s hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he continued his slow, torturous assault on your clit, each stroke of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge.

Heeseung didn’t let up, his tongue moving with purpose now, alternating between soft flicks and gentle sucks, pulling more desperate sounds from you. Your mind was a haze of pleasure, every coherent thought melting away as Heeseung worked you over with an expertise that left you breathless.

You could feel the pressure building in your core, the coil tightening with each skilled movement of his tongue. “Heeseung…” You breathed out his name, the sound trembling on your lips. Heeseung hummed against you in response, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through you, pushing you even closer to your peak.

Your hands found their way to his hair, tangling in the soft strands as you tried to ground yourself. Heeseung’s mouth was relentless, focused entirely on bringing you to the brink of ecstasy. His tongue moved faster now, flicking against your clit with just the right amount of pressure, driving you wild.

You could feel the orgasm building, threatening to crash over you at any moment. Your thighs trembled, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps as you teetered on the edge. “Please… don’t stop,” you managed to choke out, your voice thick with desperation. Heeseung only responded by doubling down, sucking hard on your clit and flicking his tongue with precision, pushing you over the edge.

The orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, ripping through your body with an intensity that left you breathless. Your back arched off the table, a strangled moan escaping your lips as the pleasure overwhelmed you. Heeseung didn’t stop, his tongue continuing to work you through your high, milking every last drop of pleasure from you.

You were completely undone, every muscle in your body trembling as the aftershocks of the orgasm washed over you. Heeseung finally pulled back, his lips glistening as he looked up at you, a satisfied smile on his face. You were still trying to catch your breath, your mind reeling from the intensity of it all.

Heeseung wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes never leaving yours as he stood up, towering over you. “You taste even better than I imagined,” he murmured, his voice low and husky. His words sent another shiver down your spine, your body still buzzing from the afterglow.

You could barely form a response, your body still trembling with the remnants of your orgasm. But the look in Heeseung’s eyes told you that this was far from over. Heeseung reached down, his fingers trailing over your skin as he slowly leaned in, capturing your lips in another searing kiss.

This time, you could taste yourself on his lips, a reminder of what he had just done to you. The kiss was slow and sensual, a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just happened. It was like he was savoring you, drawing out every moment, every sensation.

When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily. “I’m not done with you yet,” he whispered, his voice sending a thrill through you. And with that, he leaned in to claim your lips once more, as if to prove that he was just getting started.

Your body was still trembling from the waves of pleasure that had just surged through you, but the desire to taste Heeseung was overwhelming. With what little strength you had left, you slid off the table, your knees sinking into the plush carpet as you gazed up at him with a mix of determination and innocence. Reaching up, your hand found its way to Heeseung's bulge, massaging him through his pants. The sensation drew a hiss from him, his breath catching in his throat.

"Are you just going to tease me, or are you going to put that mouth to good use?" Heeseung's voice was laced with frustration, his hands slamming onto the table with a resonating thud that echoed through the empty boardroom. His tone was a mix of command and need, driving you to act.

You eagerly undid the button and zipper of his dress pants, pulling them down to his ankles. With a quick, practiced motion, you slipped his boxers down as well, revealing him in all his glory. Your eyes widened at the sight—he was more than you had anticipated. The shock of his size was clear on your face, and Heeseung noticed. A satisfied smirk spread across his face as he took in your reaction.

"Like what you see, baby? Think you can handle all of it?" His taunting words were delivered with a growl, a playful challenge that only fueled your eagerness.

You leaned in, your lips, still tingling from earlier kisses, wrapped around the tip of his cock. The initial contact made Heeseung curse under his breath, a sound of relief escaping him. His hand found your hair, tangling in it to guide you as he pushed more of himself into your mouth. "Fuck, your mouth feels incredible. I could have you under my desk all day."

His grip tightened in your hair, and you began to bob your head, taking more of him in with each movement. The room was filled with the sounds of your efforts, the slick, rhythmic motion of your mouth against him, and Heeseung’s growing groans of pleasure. He thrust forward to meet your rhythm, his tip hitting the back of your throat with each push. The gagging only seemed to spur him on, his moans growing louder and more desperate.

"You're taking me so well," he panted, his voice a mix of praise and primal need. "Should have fucked this mouth sooner." His thrusts grew more urgent, faster, as he chased his climax.

"You're such a pathetic little slut for me, aren’t you?" Heeseung’s words were a mixture of praise and degradation, his control slipping as he neared the edge. His moans were uncontrollable now, his breathing ragged as he felt his orgasm building.

With one final, hard thrust, Heeseung’s release hit him like a tidal wave. His head fell back, eyes rolling, as ropes of cum shot down your throat. Heeseung’s moans filled the room, each sound a testament to the intense pleasure you had given him. The culmination of his desire left him breathless, and he marveled at the unparalleled pleasure you had delivered.

The two of you lingered in the aftermath, bodies spent yet neither willing to let go of the moment. Heeseung helped you to your feet, guiding you back onto the table with a gentleness that contrasted the intensity of just moments before. "Heeseung..." you breathed out, your voice trembling as your eyes locked with his. Without hesitation, you wrapped your legs around his hips, drawing him closer until you could feel the heated press of his bare cock against your slick entrance, the sensation pulling a needy whimper from your throat.

"I know, baby..." Heeseung’s voice was low, thick with desire as he seemed to read your thoughts. He knew exactly what you wanted because it mirrored his own need. His hand slid down between your bodies, gripping the base of his cock before slowly dragging the tip along your wet folds. The anticipation built as he nudged at your entrance, teasing you before finally pushing in, inch by agonizing inch.

Both of you moaned as he stretched you out, your body adjusting to accommodate him. You sat up just enough to reach behind you, swiftly unclasping your bra and tossing it aside, not caring where it landed. All that mattered was him. "God, you’re so tight," Heeseung hissed through clenched teeth, his hands gripping your hips to steady you both as he bottomed out inside you.

Once he was fully sheathed, Heeseung pulled back, only to slam his hips forward in a series of hard, deliberate thrusts. The raw intensity of the pleasure caught you off guard, the sensation so overwhelming, so perfectly right. "This pussy was made for me," he groaned, his words echoing in the air as your bodies moved together, fitting like two pieces of a long-missing puzzle. "Mmph... Seungie, you feel so good..." you moaned, your voice breaking as he set a relentless pace.

Heeseung’s thrusts were timed to perfection, each one hitting deeper than the last, sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. His hand slid up your body, wrapping firmly around your neck as he continued to pound into you. "This is so much better than the dream," you gasped, your fingers curling around his wrist as his grip tightened, the pressure adding another layer to the overwhelming sensations.

"We should’ve done this sooner," Heeseung growled, his voice strained with the effort to hold back his release. "Could’ve had you taking my cock all day... God, you feel so perfect." His words hit you like a bolt of electricity, igniting a blush that spread across your cheeks. He tugged your body closer to the edge of the table, his cock driving deeper, brushing against your cervix with every thrust. "Fuck, I’m already so close..." he groaned, biting down on his lip as his movements grew more desperate.

Your moans echoed through the boardroom, loud and unrestrained as you met each of his thrusts with a roll of your hips. "Cum in me, Heeseung... please, I want to be filled with your cum," you cried out, your voice laced with need as you pleaded with him. "Yeah? You want me to breed this little pussy? Want everyone to know who you belong to?" Heeseung’s free hand slid down to your clit, his fingers stroking in time with his thrusts as he watched you unravel beneath him.

The tension coiled tightly in your core, your orgasm building with every passing second. Heeseung could feel the way your walls clenched around him, your body trembling as you edged closer to release. "Fuck, you’re squeezing me so... ah—fuck!" Heeseung’s sentence trailed off, his mind going blank as the sensation overwhelmed him. It was as if you had trapped him, and he was helpless to resist.

"Hee... Please... please, I need to cum," you begged, your legs shaking around his waist as you teetered on the brink. Heeseung gave you a nod, and that was all you needed to finally let go. Your orgasm hit like a tidal wave, your body tensing around his cock as you came hard, screaming his name as the pleasure tore through you. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you cried out for him, lost in the ecstasy of the moment.

The tight squeeze of your pussy was all it took to push Heeseung over the edge. With a final, powerful thrust, he buried himself deep inside you, his grip on your neck tightening as he emptied himself into you, his release spilling out in hot, thick waves. "Fuck... Y/N. Oh fuck, baby," he groaned, his voice raw as his orgasm crashed over him, leaving him breathless and spent.

As his grip on your neck loosened, Heeseung leaned down, resting his head on your chest as he caught his breath. Instinctively, your hands tangled in his hair, soothing him as he pressed soft kisses along your exposed skin. Slowly, Heeseung withdrew, his cock slipping out of you as he stood upright, his eyes fixed on the sight of his cum beginning to spill from your still-sensitive entrance. With a smirk, he pushed two fingers inside you, gathering the leaking cum and pressing it back into your body. "Can’t have you wasting this, can we?" he murmured, his tone teasing.

Even now, after everything, he couldn’t resist taunting you. A small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded, too blissed out to form a coherent response. Heeseung pulled his boxers back up, his touch gentle as he fetched your discarded panties and slipped them back onto your legs. His movements were tender, a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just transpired.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

It wasn’t long before the two of you were fully dressed again, returning to your shared workstation and attempting to pick up where you left off. The air was still charged with the lingering heat of your earlier encounter, making it nearly impossible to focus. Every few minutes, your eyes would meet, and before you knew it, you'd be exchanging soft, lingering kisses. Heeseung was completely lost in you, every touch, every glance fueling the connection between you both. But there was a shadow that loomed over this moment, a problem neither of you could ignore—his wife.

By the time the clock ticked past 5:00 a.m., the final proposal was submitted to your boss, setting him up for the client meeting later that day. You both knew you’d be fast asleep by then, but it didn’t matter. The work was done, and it was the least of your concerns now. Like the gentleman he prided himself on being, Heeseung insisted on walking you to your car. As you reached the driver's side door, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a string of gentle, lingering kisses that made your heart race.

"Seung... will this be the last time we’re... like this?" you asked softly, nibbling on your bottom lip. The question hung heavy in the air, your nerves betraying your calm exterior. You knew the reality—you were standing on the precipice of something forbidden, something beautiful, but he was still married.

Heeseung’s gaze softened as he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly against your skin. "I’ll handle it," he murmured, his voice steady and sure. He knew exactly what you were asking, and more importantly, he knew what he had to do. "I think a part of me has always wanted this... I don’t want to let it go." His words were whispered against your lips before he kissed you once more, a kiss that felt like both a promise and a plea.

You nodded, your heart swelling with hope and fear as you reciprocated the kiss, pulling away reluctantly to slide into the driver’s seat. "Text me when you get home, yeah?" he asked, a small, genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You returned his smile, nodding as you backed out of the parking spot and drove away. Heeseung stood there, watching until your car disappeared from view, the warmth of his feelings for you burning brightly in his chest. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years, something that chipped away at the walls he had built around his heart, leaving him with a smile that he couldn’t seem to shake.

But as he returned to his own home, the smile slowly faded. The scent of freshly brewed coffee greeted him, and the faint clinking of dishes could be heard from the kitchen. "I’m home," he called out, his voice a bit flat as he walked into the kitchen. His wife was there, tidying up, just as she always was. Heeseung grabbed a mug, pouring himself some coffee before settling at the kitchen table. The silence that followed was heavy, the kind that wraps itself around you and makes it hard to breathe.

Finally, his wife spoke up, her voice cutting through the stillness. "How was your night, honey?"

Heeseung stared into his coffee, the steam rising in lazy spirals as his thoughts drifted back to you. He couldn’t answer honestly, couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he had spent the night consumed by thoughts of someone else. His gaze lifted, taking in the life they had built together—the home, the routines, the familiar comfort that had long since faded into dissatisfaction. And then, like a beacon in the dark, thoughts of you took hold, the possibilities of what you could build together seizing his mind.

His wife’s voice cut through his thoughts again, a touch of concern lacing her words. "I said, how was your night... did you finish that project, sweetheart?"

Heeseung met her eyes, the blank expression on his face revealing nothing of the storm brewing inside. There was no internal debate, no hesitation left in him. The answer was clear.

"I want a divorce."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

taglist ; @aetherl0l (happy birthday!!) @llvrhee @yohanabanana @rayofsunshineeee @mitmit01 @heartheejake @melonvrs @shanb1n @jakeyismine @yunhoswrldddd @jinspinkflipphone @woorcve

authors note ; thank you everyone so much for all the love you gave the teaser! I hope you really enjoy the finished product, I spent so long trying to make sure it was perfect for you all! I look forward to producing more works for everyone!

First time - L. Heeseung

Pairing: heeseung & fem reader

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, blowjob, handjob, ear licking, cum eating, multiple orgasms, cursing, dirty talk.

Synopsis: wherein your mutual friend decides to approach you in the halls on a random school day, begging you to take his virginity because his friends wouldn’t stop making fun of him for being a virgin at 22. Well, after you’re done with him, he’s going to be the furthest thing from a virgin.

WC: 4,437k

-

“Y/n, please? I thought we were friends. Don’t friends help each other out?” Walking down the school hall, heeseung follows you along like a puppy would, his master hounding you with the same old question he’s been asking you for at least a month.

You scoff and cut your eyes at him.

The audacity of him to try and make it seem like you were friends to what he wanted was laughable to you. You guys were not friends. You knew him through mutual friend groups and occasionally talked with him, but friends was definitely a reach. “Friends?”

“Yes!” He answers so quickly, and it’s shameless how desperate he sounds to you right now.

“Hmm okay for the sake of argument let’s say we are friends how many friends do you know that do what you’re asking me to do?” You humor him pushing open the exit door to your school with him still hot on your tail.

“All of them!” He lied immediately, saying anything at this point just to get you to say yes.

“So not only are you shameless, you’re also a liar,” you tsked. “And here I was actually thinking about doing it,” you say with a tone of disapproval.

“What? Wait, y/n, no, I’m sorry, I lied. It’s just I’m desperate and saying anything to convince you” he takes long strides to keep up with your fast pace. “None of my friends do that but I’m just sick of being the laughing stock of the group” lowering his head he clutches the straps on his backpack and kicks a pebble on the ground sighing loudly.

“Hmm, so let me get this straight: you want me, barely even an acquaintance, let alone a friend, to take your virginity?” You ask just to make sure you’re getting this right.

He nodded his head, and if the silent confirmation wasn’t enough, he gave you a verbal one, too. “Y-you’re the only girl I know, and I trust you,” he mumbles, embarrassed to even admit out loud that he absolutely has no contact with women other than you.

He really has no reason to trust you, but he just does.

Now that you heard him out a little, you kinda felt bad for him, but it was still so out of left field for him to be asking you this. Although you weren’t exactly opposed to having sex with him, you still didn’t want him to regret anything. “So you want me to be your first? Are you sure? Don’t you want it to be special?”

“I’m sure as long as you’re patient with me it will be special” he turns to you you’re already looking at him with a small smile and he gets embarrassed quickly looking away and clearing his throat awkwardly as he pushes up the middle of his eyeglasses.

All you had to do was be patient with him. That in itself could be really challenging for you because, despite his shy demeanor, he was literally the hottest man you’ve ever seen. That coupled with the fact that it had been a while since you had sex, and just the idea of doing it with him was turning you on right now.

The silence drew on while you were in your own head contemplating this, and at this point, he could only surmise your answer would be a no, so he took a preemptive strike and rejected himself. “It's fine if you don’t want to do it. As you can see, no one else wants to, so I’m not surprised you don’t either. I’ll just get out of your hai-“

“Take me to your place,” you said, looking straight ahead as the both of you walked side by side.

“W-what?” He stutters, nearly losing his balance.

Stopping in your tracks, he stops with you, and you turn to him, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling him in as he nervously eyes your face up close. “Take. Me. To. Your. Place.”

He gulps nodding his head frantically. “It’s that way” he points in the direction and you loosen the grip on his shirt you gesture him to lead the way and every step he takes from then on is one step closer to him losing his innocence.

He’s never been this nervous before.

-

When you both arrive to his house the parking lot is empty meaning his parents are luckily still at work and he eagerly lets you inside leading you upstairs to his bedroom straight away.

“Minimal, I like it,” you note. Once you enter his room, it is very spacious but simple and cozy at the same time.

“Thank you,” he whispers, wiping his sweaty hands on his slacks as he shuts the door and locks it.

You took a seat on the corner of his bed, your eyes scanning the room while you waited for him to join you.

But he doesn’t. He’s stood still by his door. He hadn’t moved a step since you entered his room.

“You wanna fuck standing up?” You tease him for just standing there.

Your voice snaps him out of his nervous thoughts. “W-what I- no unless you want to but I-i don’t really know how” his face is a mixture of confusion and worry as he stands by his door feeling a bit unsure about all this or maybe he was just anxious it’s hard for him to tell right now cause he’s too focused on trying to stop himself from shaking like a leaf.

“I’m joking,” you giggle, and you pat the bed next to where you’re sitting so he can join you. “Come sit.”

“Okay,” he says with a small nod and sits next to you.

No wonder he asked you to be patient with him at this rate it’d be half hour before you even got him to take his shirt off but you didn’t mind easing him into it. “Baby loosen up” if anything his posture got stiffer and he wasn’t even attempting to make eye contact with you anymore. “Would you feel more comfortable if I took my clothes off?” You offer.

Finally, he looks at you, eyes wide and pleading. “Please?”

Read full story on my patreon link

I offer you my everything (lhs)

pairing: heeseung x afab!reader

synopsis: You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy. 

my's note: i loved working in this so much. also i wanna emphasize that for god’s sake do not “lose” your virginity due to pressure or anything related to others. do it because you want to!! take your time, there’s no such thing as being too old for it neither need to rush. you have to enjoy it! that being said, i hope you enjoy this writing 🤭

warnings: fluff, pet names, explicit language, reader is insecure about having sex and some other things, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, virginity loss, kinda pillow princess reader (she doesn’t know what to do, so she just lay down and enjoy), protected sex 💪🏻, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), quick handjob. lmk if I missed something!

wc: 21k

NOT PROOFREAD.

taglist 💖: @yvnempire

Entering college was your dream come true. 

There was a whole fantasy of how your life would change for the better, the new ways of seeing life, dealing with problems – new problems!, meeting new people, going to university parties, starting your adult life. Everything sounded ethereal, almost utopian, and although you were a very down-to-earth type of person, you never stopped your imagination from flowing through the excitedly new unexplored area.

You used to have a very simple and ordinary life in your hometown, going to school everyday, getting great grades, not really engaging with romantic relationships and having a normal amount of friends and people who cared about you. 

Your parents were good people but quite strict with how you should live your life. It wasn’t much of a problem because whatever they were afraid of you getting into and “losing yourself” wasn’t really your cup of tea; you never really cared about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend – and your dad vehemently explained to you how disappointed he would be if you started to date someone with no goals in life or whatever. Doing drugs was way out of your interests, but you were very curious about the whole alcohol thing. And well, you wanted to become a journalist one day, so you pretty much studied for it and made your parents proud of you.

Overall your life was very… vanilla. And a strong part of you wanted it to be a bit spicy.

Not in an exaggerated way – and you had no problem with who wanted their lives to be –, nevertheless you wanted to really live the university experience, so your first months in college were actually dreamy, especially for being away from your parents’ grip and finally trying the taste of what freedom felt like.

You met your classmates and respectives professors, you got to know better about the available clubs and how to enter them, and you met your roommate, Ryujin, which thankfully ended up having enough common interests with you to make a healthy friendship grow. 

Making friends wasn’t a big problem to you as well, because even though you normally showed a very reserved version of yourself at the beginning, people around you just fell for your charms naturally, wanting to be close to you for your aura at first and then because of how supportive and funny you were once they got to know you better. 

Now, in your second year, you already had a spot on a small group of friends, who everyday would try to meet during lunch time to catch up on things and not freak out with the amount of assignments they were dealing with. 

The conversation always flowed nicely, you never felt insecure about sharing a piece of your mind with them since they listened to you well. You were really glad to have people like that in your daily life.

However, there was a single topic that you often would shut up about to avoid being the center of attention, and the said topic was an ongoing conversation right at that moment.

“I need to get laid,” Julie, one of your closest friends, said in a very dramatic way. You forced a smile that you were pretty sure that looked very awkwardly placed on your face. 

You could feel your heart beating fast with the idea of you becoming the subject in that conversation.

“What you really need is a good night's sleep,” Yunjin added with a chuckle, patting Julie’s head who shot a slightly upset look back at her. 

“For that I need to sit on someone. Like, I can literally feel my body aching for a dick,” she explained, keeping the drama in her tone as if she was sick. There was a reason for Julie to be in the theater club afterall. 

“For God’s sake,” Yunjin muttered, rolling her eyes but not really bothered by her friend’s behavior. She was pretty much used to it at this point, and well, quite the same but with girls.

You just watched as they both bickered with each other, hoping for you to stay out the fire and wondering when that conversation would finally become just a reminiscence of your day.

There was no shame on you for being a virgin. It was quite literally your choice since having sex was your last priority during your teenage years although you had guys interested in you in that aspect.

You weren't expecting the right one, your prince charming, nor to get married before. You just never cared much about having sex, and once you started to care you never felt comfortable enough with someone to show yourself so vulnerable, so openly like sex seemed to be.

Once your university life started to kick in and attending parties became a part of your weekends, you really thought that you would finally be able to free yourself enough to have someone with you in a bed, naked, doing sexual things or whatever. But what really happened was you feeling endlessly frustrated with yourself for panicking, finding lame excuses to run away from the possibility of having sex every time a makeout session started to be a bit more intense.

Alongside that often reaction of yours, you went through a tough moment with a specific guy, one you let yourself comfortable around, leading to you one day being in his bedroom while sharing a passionate kiss. With the amount of reassurance he showed you through the whole moments you were just flirting, you thought that sharing that you never had sex before wouldn’t be a problem. He was about to undress you from your bra when you told him, and then he halted his movements, overreacting as he said “I’m no sex teacher to teach college girls how to have sex”.

You never felt so humiliated in your whole life. Not only it became a trigger but also a new thing to overthink; the fact that some guys would see you as too innocent for their sex drive, refusing to do anything with you.

Nevertheless, you were still a woman with desires, with a libido waiting to be directed and mostly, curiosity. 

Your mind would flee to dirty, lascivious places whenever you saw a character you found attractive, such as actors, singers or even real life crushes, sometimes doing the bare minimum but still sparkling in your sexual self, wetting your panties – and in those days you blamed your ovulation. 

But the moment you tried to fulfill your fantasies with real people, your body refused to relax, your mind never stopping from the constant overthinking about either disappointing or just showing how inexperienced in the practical area you were, ending up embarrassing yourself. 

Since you also never looked out for the help of your friends, none of them knew about that part of your life and you always shared a silent feeling of gratitude for the lack of their interest in that area. 

The whole theme being a main focus on conversations constantly made you pretty uncomfortable, because everyone showed to enjoy their sexual lives fully, without any problems like you.

Although you had very incredible friends that you could rely on, you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety of being judged by them, so you always opted to stay quiet or managed to redirect the discussion.

As if someone had listened to your prayers, you noticed another friend of yours – Jake – coming in your direction with a big smile, his backpack hanging loose off his shoulders and someone a bit too familiar alongside him.

You waited for them to be closer to try to recognize the strange and… Shit. 

Your breath got stuck in your airlines when you realized that the guy with Jake was Lee Heeseung.

Your eyes followed how he took a seat in front of Jake, who sat beside you. None of your friends stopped the playful argument when they both arrived at the table, and for a little while you were glad for that, because you for sure couldn’t hide your surprised face and sudden dizziness for having Heeseung that close, looking unnecessarily attractive with his usual sly grin, messy black hair and strong presence.

Heeseung was the basketball captain of your university team.

You harbored a love for sports since childhood, not in a way of being a player but a watcher. During the first weeks of college you discovered that your university had a basketball team and you got really intrigued. Since then, it became your hobby to go over and watch them practicing during your free time or just to study for a while using the sound of balls bouncing on the floor as a background.

It was during one of your study days that you first met Jake, when he accidentally threw a ball in your direction and although you safely dodged, he insisted on taking you to what he called a date, but you weren’t much interested in him like that so you two became friends. 

Jake was definitely hot, but, well… You had a big crush on the very much attractive ace of the team. 

His movements looked meticulously calculated as if he had control of every part of his body, his pretty smiley face whenever he scored a point making your heart miss a few beats, not to mention the shameless winks he gave towards the girls who were watching the match just to make them scream. His overall performance was just sensational, making you wonder if the hands that were harshly used to grip the ball would grip your hips the same way.

Yeah, one of the in real life crushes you would get wet just by thinking about.

You forced yourself to believe that you had everything under control, since crushing on Heeseung was a waste of time and a sentence to have your heart shattered. You knew about his fuckboy reputation and definitely wasn’t planning on being the talk of the week of the “lucky girl that Heeseung fucked” or anything similar, neither wanted to face the consequences of getting involved with him – the amount of gossips going around with your name would increase considerably as people would try their best to destroy your self-esteem. 

Or at least that’s what you heard from your friends, wondering for a long time if people were exaggerating just because of jealousy. 

You weren’t that desperate to lose your virginity, although the thought of losing it to Heeseung seemed quite interesting – but, again, impossible.

Heeseung's existence in your life always resembled to be like an idol. Not in a sense of you idolizing him, but as someone you were intrigued by, loving to watch him by far, never getting close enough given that nothing could even happen between you two, especially because how would two different worlds collide like that? 

So in your own defense of how your body was reacting, no one prepared you to be so close to him without a previous warning, even with the fact that Jake was friends with Heeseung. Your brain just insisted on forgetting that eventual possibility.

“What are you guys talking about?”

And then you really panicked.

You also forgot that Jake was pretty much a gossiper and would rather know what the table was talking about instead of bringing another new subject to it. And now there was Heeseung sitting with all of you, making it harder to breathe and to focus on any other thing. You could feel the sweat dampening your armpits, the idea of you having to talk about your sexual life haunting you to death at that moment.

“Me getting laid,” Julie answered with a cheeky smile. 

“Oh,” Jake was taken back with her quick and honest response, you could notice by the way he slightly widened his eyes. Heeseung just laughed. And what a pretty fucking laugh. 

“Don’t act like you never fucked in your life, Jake,” Yunjin said narrowing her eyes skeptically, adding to the fuel.

You felt your cheeks and the top of your ears burning. And not only that, there was a very intense gaze right towards you that you refused to look up to meet. The scrunched napkins on the table looked way more interesting than anything else at that moment.

“I’m still not used to all your… Openness,” he motioned with his hands as he explained. You mentally cursed Jake’s oblivious self for giving Julie the right words for her to be even more blatant in her dramatic speech. 

“Oh boy, I really wish I’d be open–” 

“Julie!” Yunjin now screamed flabbergasted with Julie’s audacity, laughing loudly and smacking her friend's shoulder while you hid yourself in your hands, fully embarrassed. You couldn’t hold back a small, kind of a relieved laugh because the topic apparently was about to end.

You heard Heeseung chuckling with them and decided to search for his eyes just to meet them already on you, shamelessly checking you out. You instantly avoided his not a little soft glances at your chest and lips, but not with enough time to fail to perceive how he bit his bottom lip while still smiling.

“Care to present your friend?” Yunjin directed the question to Jake when she stopped laughing.

“I thought you already knew Heeseung,” Jake sounded confused.

“We do, but I don’t know if Y/N do,” she explained, pointing to you.

Now every pair of eyes on the table was on you and normally that wasn’t a big deal, you loved the attention your friends gave whenever you were the one speaking. But Heeseung being the owner of one of those pairs made it difficult for you not to blush harder.

“O–oh,” you damned yourself for stuttering, swallowing nothing. “I actually know him too, yeah. I– I watch the uni basketball practices sometimes.” You tried to sound cool, forcing a very awkward smile, but your voice was so obviously nervous you just wished no one would notice. 

However, Heeseung’s lips curved into a smirk told you that he, at least, noticed. And was enjoying seeing you so flustered.

“I’ve seen you there a few times”, it was his first words since he sat with your group, his voice sounding quite different from when you normally heard him – screaming in the basketball court with his teammates to hype them up. 

Your heartbeat was loud inside your chest, and you wondered if the reason behind was because of Heeseung’s intense presence, or how dreamy his voice sounded, or the fact that he had perceived you in his games. All the options sounding very unnecessarily smitten to you, who usually knew your place, grounded with your feelings, but apparently not with Heeseung and his charming face.

Jake nodded, smiling cutely at you. But not a cutely you enjoyed seeing; it was a mischievous grin. You gulped.

“Heeseung insisted on sitting with us today, saying he wants to get to know you better,” Jake nudged your shoulder with his’, wiggling his eyebrows while the girls hummed teasingly at you.

You widened your eyes, your cheeks with a tone of red spreading all over. You noticed Heeseung’s cherry colored lips still with a petty grin, his eyes slightly hooded as he faced you. That alone was enough to get yourself worked up, sending signals directly to your cunt. 

You literally clenched around nothing just because Heeseung smirked at you while holding eye contact.

Of course you would react like a teen that just got a confession from her crush mixed with a pervert that never had sex in her life and got horny by little things – which, in part, was true.

Nevertheless, hearing Heeseung laugh along with Jake’s next words completely dashed your hopes and your arousal away. 

“I’m joking. It’s funny and cute how you always react with things like this.”

You now had to blink a few times to recompose yourself just enough to fake a smile, trying not to demonstrate that your panties were a bit damp and you, frustrated.

“Not funny to play with a girl's feelings, Jake,” Julie uttered when she noticed your slight discomfort.

Now it was the time to take your realistic persona and act out of the situation, as you pulled your best facial expression in order to cover your kind of hurted heart. “There are no feelings,” you urged to say with a forced laugh, failing to notice Heeseung’s smile dropping for a second. “Yeah, it’s funny now, but I’m pretty sure you were on the verge of crying when I refused to go with you on that date,” you cocked your head with a raised eyebrow facing Jake, watching his expression contort in all the five stages of grief at once, his lips parted with widen eyes at the end.

“You’re mean,” he whined and you laughed.

“Only for you,” and you gave him a little wink before standing up and gathering all your things on the table to put back on your backpack. “I gotta go now, see ya later?” You looked at your girl friends who just nodded and said a cute goodbye to you, avoiding eye contact with Heeseung as you did so.

As you made your way to your upcoming class, your mind automatically flooded with thoughts about what just happened; you yourself questioning for how long you would be able to hide your inexistent sexual life from your friends, or even if you should keep doing it, due the fact that they could help you get over your insecurities and apprehensions.

Besides, it was becoming quite unbearable to cope with the frustration of wanting, yearning, and desiring, yet never being able to make a move beyond it.

And since when would Heeseung pay genuine attention to you? You couldn’t deny that even with your head making sure to remind you of the unrealistic nature of things happening with Heeseung, your feelings seemed to have been crushed in a very hurtful way.

There was a part of you that believed a bit in the fantasy of him being a very warm and approachable guy who would do cute things with you, respect your space and time and also be the one who you have sex with. 

On the other hand, you constantly reinforced the thought of being impossible and somehow weird. You felt weird. Like a true pervert of some kind. 

You spent the whole class thinking about what Jake said and how Heeseung's eyes wandered your features with something very similar to what you saw in some other guys. Desire. 

But at that point you comprehended that your mind had started to like to make things up. Jake was lying after all.

You just wished for your sentiments and needs to vanish quickly, or at least for you to be able to replace the person. In any case, you decided to avoid the basketball court for a few days. 

Not showing up to watch the team’s practice and games did not prevent you from running into Heeseung almost everyday, which was the main reason behind your decision – to get over your silly little crush on him.

Apparently fate had other plans for you and you honestly didn’t know how to feel. Heeseung began to be part of your group hangouts alongside Jake, now being a regular presence to the point where your friends would frequently ask his whereabouts, as if everyone in the group suddenly grew a liking for him.

And honestly, you couldn’t blame them. Apart from your tangled, weird feelings that for sure had something to do with how you envisioned him, Heeseung revealed to be a genuine sweet, caring person, easily breaking parts of your pre-concept about his stereotypes. 

His “player” aura was fading little by little, even though his confident demeanor kept its place on his every move.

Heeseung had gleaming eyes shooting you the most flirtatious, intense gaze, with equal glistened lips adorning the most endearing smirk, enough to make you lose your words, to lose your mind. Not to mention how often his body leaned towards yours in order to give you full attention.

Heeseung would cock his head and glance at your lips whenever you were the one speaking, simple behaviors messing you over and over, tempting you to dive into the pool of the unexplored, the so lustful field you never let yourself do a proper investigation, too afraid of surrendering to your feelings and needs.

The more you got to know him, the harder it became to dismiss the growing admiration and longing feeling running all over your body. Heeseung wasn’t just some fleeting crush anymore. He became something you couldn’t name yet, still fuzzing your mind, the crawling sensation on your skin wanting more and more of whatever he had to offer – just a look, just a smile, just some words, just some gentle brush of skins. Anything. 

At some point your chest started to palpitate just by the mention of his name, your blood running cold instantly as your whole posture changed, terrified of someone knowing about your feelings, about your dirtiest thoughts, about how he would visit your dreams at night to show you how much you craved his body. 

God, you were so fucked up, so desperate, and nonetheless, hesitant.

Something strongly held you back, even with Heeseung’s attempts to become closer to you, asking direct questions to you, trying nonstop to get to know you better, just like Jake once told you he wanted to.

You never let him in. Not openly, not with your words, not in front of him – you refused to risk having a broken heart because Heeseung was simply being his normal self and you, seeing beyond his charming facade.

Heeseung had occupied a spot in your mind from day one, ever since his damp, sweaty hair stuck on his forehead together with a cocky smile seemed way too attractive to your eyes and you began to pay more attention to his existence. That was true. But you only allowed him to do his proper mess inside your head after de-idolizing him; after the looks he gave to every other girl started to have you as the main target, after his hands “accidentally” brushed on yours during your moments sitting side by side sending shivers throughout your body, after he questioned about how you day have been and actually paid attention to your answer, your stomach doing flips every time.

Heeseung was now part of your thoughts because he showed genuine affection and worry about you, without you asking for it. And alongside all of that, he was so fucking and unnecessarily hot.

But what if all of this was just a game? Just another girl he messes around with, playing with her feelings just because he can. Just because he's attractive and you're foolishly falling for him…? 

…Falling for him?

“Stop overthinking,” Sunoo’s voice cut your roam of thoughts as he appeared out of nowhere, dropping his books on the table before sitting across you in the library, catching you totally off guard. 

“Damn it, Sunoo!” You nearly screamed, covering your mouth to restrain it, ignoring the librarian's angry glare.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he chuckled softly. “But your frown is screaming at me, what’s on your mind?”

“Ahm, just some media ethics stuff, y’know–”

“Cut that off, sweetie. I’m not asking about your studies. You know that. I’m asking about your frown, your overthinking frown,” he said, gently pressing his finger on your forehead. “What’s really going on in there?”

You sighed. 

The two of you had met in your first year when you realized you shared almost all your classes. Since then, Sunoo had become one of your closest friends – the trustworthy one, the always-down-for-anything one, and also the one who worried about you the most. He was a comforting presence, someone you could rely on to listen to your concerns and anxieties without judgment.

Still, despite this, you felt nervous. Your eyes darted around searching for any eavesdroppers, a few students scattered throughout the library, deeply focused on their studies, oblivious to your conversation. Yet your tense nerves inhibited you from sharing your true worries as you opened and closed your mouth a few times without being able to talk.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Sunoo asked softly, eyes offering you comfort as he held your hands and caressed them.

You nodded, watching his body instantly lifting up from his seat to help you grab your things and his own, snatching your hand with his to drag you around the campus until you found a quiet place near some trees. 

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Sunoo said as he leaned in one of the trees, watching your gaze avoiding his and your cheeks reddening a bit.

“I’m having some troubles, personal problems, if I’m being honest…” Sunoo said nothing, just nodded his head in a reassuring way although you weren’t looking at him. “It’s–” you gulped. Your mind screaming at you to shut up, because you were certain he would make fun of you. Sunoo, the guy who always had people crushing on, definitely would not understand what you are going through. You searched for his eyes, just to find them filled with compassion. “I’m–” You shut your eyes searching for the best way of saying. “I’m a virgin,” you blurted out in a low tone, your face burning with embarrassment as you refused to open your eyes. 

However, Sunoo's nonchalant reaction took you by surprise. “Okay, and?” Then you blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the lack of judgment. This was not what you prepared yourself for. “What’s the problem?” He sounded genuinely confused with your dumbfounded expression. “That’s all? I mean, if it’s really bothering you we can talk through it, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, sweetie…”

“So… You think that’s normal for a college girl to be a virgin? You don’t think it’s something to be weird or to be asham–”

“My dear Y/N,” he cut you off by holding your head softly to look directly into his eyes. “First of all there’s no such thing as what's normal or not normal when it comes to many things. Also, please never let someone make you feel ashamed of who you are or how you’ve chosen to live your life, ok?” Your honest reaction was to stare at Sunoo in astonishment. “Promise me, Y/N.”

“I promise,” your voice was muffled since he was holding you still.

“Now spill the real tea, because I’m pretty sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

So you vented out about everything running through your mind, your worries, your genuine curiosity mixed with a fear, how you were aching for something you were too afraid of getting – or letting yourself to get. 

Relief ran throughout your body, as Sunoo made you comfortable enough to go subject by subject in order to help you name all of your nameless and confused feelings, including to situate where your expectations were set. You wanted your first time to be enjoyable, that’s for sure, so you had to be with someone who would help you erase your turbulent thoughts by reassuring you regularly – a one night stand type of thing was not an option, you realized with Sunoo. 

You shared your apprehension on disappointing with your lack of experience, and to that Sunoo settled your nerves by saying “If the person respects you, you don’t have to worry about that,” and you discovered another name for what you wanted. 

The anguish of not knowing what to do or where to go was slowly diminishing every time you labeled what previously you were able to describe only as a ‘bittersweet feeling of panic and desire’. 

You also didn’t need to directly mention Heeseung, Sunoo himself brought his name after connecting the obvious dots of the said crush being Heeseung, especially since his glances at you and your reactions to it were anything but subtle.

“Don’t have to worry about that either, sweetie. I don’t think any of the others noticed it, they’re too oblivious sometimes,” Sunoo calmed you down after you almost cried due to your embarrassment of someone noticing your messed up self. 

Something Sunoo said reverberated throughout your day as well. “You will always be a virgin if you don’t have sex. And if you’re afraid of having sex because you’re a virgin, it’s an unsolved paradox.”

Your talk with Sunoo eased your mind, but also introduced a whole new scenery of thoughts – gladly not anxious one. You were depriving yourself of your own pleasure, of your own desire. And perhaps the real reason was because you feared… liking it. 

So after a good night of sleep, you decided to head out to your favorite place during your free time: the basketball court. Not necessarily to watch anything – or someone in particular, but to ponder what you had going through your head the whole night ever since Sunoo’s advices and sweet, reassuring words. 

Of course your choice of place would lead you to probably bump into a specific someone, and part of you really hoped for that.

While you drank your iced coffee, you wondered if Sunoo was being serious when he said that the talk about Heeseung in most cases was disconnected with reality. He didn’t explain much about it, but what he said was enough to intrigue you.

“Hey,” a far, but known voice snapped you out of your trance, and instantly your whole body heated.

You watched Heeseung jogging in your direction, panting a big, sweat dripping off his temples and his arms in display for you since he was wearing a sleeveless shirt.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you here,” he said, shooting you a small smile, easily walking through the seats by skipping them with his long legs until he got closer. 

“Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy,” you answered, fighting yourself not to tremble and to avoid glazing your eyes on his body, the team’s uniform looking gorgeous in contrast with his skin tone.

“Missed you, Y/N,” Heeseung talked with a gentle voice, his usual sparkly eyes growing wide as he realized what he just said. “I mean, I missed you being around, y’know,” he tried to play it cool and due to your nervous self, you barely noticed he was going through the same emotion.

He was so attractive, and for some reason the mix of his perfume with his sweat inebriated your air lines, making it a little difficult to breathe. 

Little did you know that Heeseung was in a similar state, lost in how cute you looked that day, your comfy outfit and the single ponytail doing your face features justice by letting them shine with a natural beauty you carried confidently.

Heeseung noticed you on the very first day you appeared to watch a game. He normally paid little to no real attention to who watched his practice, the flirty glances and winks thrown at the crowd usually was just for fun and no one in particular, but your sudden appearance was overwhelming, his stomach did flips and his so focused self was faltering before your presence. 

He had to take a good, long, cold shower after in the locker room to try to get over his exaggerated reactions. How does one get his heart pounding so fast, hands sweating and distracted concentration just because they are good looking?

He for sure knew plenty of attractive people, but none got his heart aching and his body craving like you did. 

“I’m sorry, I know I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you acted out of your bubble a bit. That would be a normal saying by you, actually. But around Heeseung you worked differently, actions more withdrawn than ever, flustered by the fact that his focus was on you, and only you. 

You barely had any moments alone with Heeseung, most of the time some friend of yours was engaged in the conversation as well, so to talk directly to him without having another person to cover up your nervous state was pretty difficult, especially by the way he held eye contact on you, as he was reading every bare piece of you.

“Yeah, I really don’t know what to do without you,” Heeseung put his hand on his heart dramatically as he said and you blushed, pushing his shoulder and avoiding looking at his face. 

And well, he wasn’t lying. 

Your constant attendance, whether to really pay attention to what was happening or just to quietly study as you regularly did, threw his mind into chaos. Heeseung had to physically restrain himself from jumping across the seats to ask for your number at first, your aura seeming a bit coy to him – not in an off putting way, but in a way that made him think you deserved someone better than what he could offer. Alongside that, he believed there was no way a hot, beautiful and smart girl like you would pay any attention to him.

It wasn't like Heeseung was insecure, he knew his strengths and how to work with them. A line of girls would eagerly wait for a chance to spend a night with him, though he never went that far with many of them, choosing carefully who he led to his room or allowed in his life.

Nevertheless, the feeling of having that kind of attention was addicting. To feel desired by them fed his ego, he never denied that. 

That alone convinced Heeseung that you, out of all his options, would never let him taste a crumb of what he really wanted from you.

And then there was the moment he got to know about Jake being friends with you. 

His instincts told him to give up, but he had to try, a demeanor similar to a man who never saw a woman in his life before, just to get a little bit of whatever you would give to him.

Heeseung grew obsessed with your presence, with you. Yet never bold enough to do much about it, too afraid of your so certain rejection. Then you suddenly disappeared and he missed you like crazy, to the point of befriending your friends simply to have a bit of your presence in his daily life.

To get you know better did no good to his health at all. He got enthralled by your sarcastic, funny personality, your endearing laughs and genuine love for your friends, spilling through your actions and words, always supporting them without losing your humor. 

Heeseung got a small taste of how it feels to have you around and he grew addicted – even more than for the feeling of being desired by many, more thrilling than the praise for his performance or the rush of winning a game. At the end of the day, Heeseung wanted your attention and your praises. 

After realizing it, he decided to step up on his game.

“So…” Heeseung cleared his throat after your silence. “Are you free later?” 

The question itself had nothing openly implied, just a normal, simple and direct ask. But God, why did your heart started to beat so fast? Why did your face felt like fire burning all over it?

You forced yourself to meet Heeseung's gaze, his eyes filled with anticipation and eagerness, just like your reply could change the whole path of his life. 

“Ahm, yeah, kinda. Why?”

You watched as his expression lighted up and how he tried to hold back his smile while scratching the back of his neck. Spotting Heeseung apparenting to be nervous ignited a different, sudden feeling inside you, as if you now understood that you affected him in some way. Or that he was a very good actor. 

“I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place– We’re going to throw a small party, so it’d be cool to have you there,” he nodded to himself, proud for not stuttering at all. When did inviting a girl to a party become that hard?

Unfortunately for him, you paid close attention to his behavior and body language, how he avoided looking at your eyes even though he was the king of maintaining eye contact while speaking and how his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as if he swallowed hard. All the pieces together put you in a new position, one that you felt confident enough to play on his game. 

“A party, huh?” You showed him a smile before biting your bottom lip and tilting your head to the side, as if you were thinking about his invitation, Heeseung’s eyes catching every movement and your eyes catching his not a bit subtle glances. “I’ll try to fit you in my schedule.” 

And you gave him a wink as you stood up to go back to your dorm without waiting for a response, knowing that your sudden courage would not last long to keep it going, not even realizing you left Heeseung in a total speechless form.

Attending a party alone was not something common to your lifestyle at all, same as accepting going on one just because of an acquaintance of yours. 

Usually your friends – Yunjin or Sunoo, in particular – would be the ones to tag you along, since you liked to go out but never got that extroverted side to be directly invited; you didn’t even bother to care much, because as said before, your friends were the ones in charge to lead you to the places.

In addition to that, not only would you have a company so you would not feel alone, but also a friend nearby to look after you – though your alcohol tolerance was pretty high, you didn’t trust yourself to make sound decisions sober, let alone drunk.

Later on, Heeseung messaged you saying you could invite the girls and Sunoo, but to your misfortune and as if fate was tricking you, all of them had other plans and left you hanging this time. Yunjin encouraged you to go by yourself, since Jake would probably be there as well as Heeseung, so you gathered all the courage you had left and decided to go.

Nevertheless, Heeseung wasn’t necessarily your friend yet. 

You both shared information about each other during the time he hung out with you and your friend group, enough for you to know his degree and some of his life interests like favorite movies, music and the fact he was a chronic gamer. 

Whilst you didn’t trust him enough to have your back if needed to, there was something on the way he oftenly treated you that broke down your doubtful barriers with ease, not only by his respectful manners but also by his desirable glances. Heeseung would look at you with a perfect mix of endearment and craving, like he wanted you so bad he would do anything, but never crossing the line, waiting for you to make the first move.

It was reassuring in some type of way, to feel wanted and at the same time, respected. Upon this conclusion, you felt confident enough to cross the opened door and to enter the house, hearing the loud music boosting through the speakers as a bunch of people danced to it, some of them seeming way too drunk already. 

The fluttering sensation in your stomach showed you not only the fear of being by yourself, but mostly the obvious, expected acknowledgment you would eventually bump into Heeseung. 

Before you could walk your way to the kitchen to get something to drink – a shot of courage, maybe, someone gave you a sudden bear hug and by the drunken voice you noticed it was Jake.

“You came!” 

“Yeah!” You answered with the same pitch, hugging him back, relieved that your whole internal dilemma ended quickly. Or you thought so. “You look kinda drunk,” you stated the obvious with a sarcastic tone, sly smile at him when he pulled out of the hug.

Jake literally giggled as a response and wrapped his free arm around your shoulder, dragging you around, his other hand occupied holding his cup. 

“Let me introduce you to my friends, you introduced me to yours so it’s only fair if I do the same, right?” You laughed at his very slurred words, as well as how cute he sounded having his cheeks flustered due to the alcohol. 

However, when you realized that he was leading you to his friends – and Heeseung was his friend – you almost froze, stumbling a little on your legs while your whole body tensed. You damned Jake for not letting you take your shot of courage before.  

“No need to be nervous,” Jake murmured close to your ear, his hands resting now on your waist as he continued to walk with you. The distance wasn’t that far, but Jake kept stopping to greet everyone along the way so it took you both double the time.  

“I’m not–”

“You’re doing the face you do when you’re nervous,” he pointed out.

“Am I that easy to read?” You let out an awkward chuckle, feeling shy at how transparent your reactions were. 

“Yeah,” he replied, causing you to now genuinely laugh at his sincerity. “You’ll like them. They already like you. Heeseung doesn’t shut up about you, so they're already familiar with who you are.”

What?

You had no time to think about his words or even react properly, a bunch of new friendly smiles greeting you.

“This is Sunghoon and Jay,” Jake indicated with his fingers to the ones sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. “The two over there are Riki and Jungwon,” Jake pointed with the hand that held his cup to the two who were standing and talking with each other, but when their names were mentioned they looked at you with curiosity. “And Heeseung you already know, but I don’t know where he is.”

Part of you felt relieved by Heeseung's absence, while another part was somewhat disappointed.

“Hey, you must be Y/N,” the one you understood as being Jay stood up to greet you with a hug, followed by Sunghoon.

“Enjoying the party so far?” The taller one asked, looking you directly into your eyes. You showed him a gentle smile as you answered.

“I kinda just arrived, so…” Sunghoon nodded, mouthing an ‘oh’ and sitting again on the couch although his gaze kept focused on you. You shook your head when he silently asked if you wanted to sit as well. “But I can say the music is pretty nice. Whoever chose the playlist has a good taste.”

“Thanks.”

You weren’t expecting to feel Heeseung’s presence close, right behind you. His sweet yet low voice making you shiver, a weird feeling tingling your skin. 

“I chose the playlist.”

You gulped down your flustered self to turn around and address your attention to him, just to meet his signature flirty expression, this time a little more… softened. He shamelessly checked you out, eyes sparkling in interest as he tried to hold back his smile, disguising it with a small smirk.

His outfit took your breath away, as he wore a black dress shirt that had the first two buttons open and a beautiful silver chain necklace contrasting his slightly tanned skin, every move of his tempting you to see what was underneath the clothing piece. 

You saw how Heeseung’s Adam's apple moved up and down before he raised an eyebrow playfully when his eyes landed on your face again. 

He paid attention to the way your cheeks turned into a soft shade of red that he was sure wasn't just because of your makeup blush, and damn, how could you look so hot with black skirt and an oversized black shirt? Your legs in full display to him to savor. 

“You look pretty,” he complimented you, sincerity and a taste of desire evident in his tone. You smiled shyly, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks.

“Oh, thank you. You look great yourself,” you replied, and although you felt flustered for being that close to Heeseung, you didn’t hesitate to maintain eye contact, focusing the most you could not to falter. 

Heeseung chuckled, his hands dipped in his pockets as he straightened his posture, quickly averting from your gaze before coming back to look at you again. 

So gorgeous, his heart was beating unnecessarily fast just by seeing you and even faster because of your compliment.

“I’m glad to hear that, y’know, I was hoping to make a good impression,” the alcohol in his system made him a bit bolder than he normally was around you, his body leaning subtly closer to yours, his eyes taking the typical glances at your lips.  

You huffed a flustered laugh, looking at him through your eyelashes. “You– You don’t have to try that hard, though,” you tried to speak confidently, and you actually did it, biting your lips as a way of restraining yourself from literally jumping on that hot, attractive, charming, man.

The little giggling noises behind your back made you aware that you were not alone with Heeseung to be that fearless, so you took a step back, suddenly feeling hesitant. 

“You think so?” Heeseung, on the other hand, didn’t care about his friends, maintaining his flirty aura as he stepped closer to you, a playful grin adorning the corner of his glistening lips. However, he quickly caught the slight discomfort in your posture and decided to give you some space, backing off. “Well, next time I’ll just let my natural charm do the work, then,” he winked at you and casually sat on the couch arm beside Jay and Sunghoon.

You felt a bit out of your place, your wobbly legs not letting you do much and you awkwardly self not knowing exactly what to do. Jake was long gone already, lost in the sea of people while the other boys chatted between themselves. You stood near to the wall next to the other couch arm, engaging in the conversation as they asked you a few things in order to make you feel included. Eventually, Jungwon and Riki joined as well, bringing you a drink, and you got to know all of them better. 

Throughout the entire time, Heeseung wasn’t subtle with his glances, eyeing you up and down, taking his sweet time appreciating your bare thighs and your lips whenever you spoke. And even when you caught him staring, he didn’t flinch, full of confidence, biting his lower lip just to wet it with his tongue right after, definitely not paying attention to their friends talking.

So excessively hot. 

Heeseung was torn between awe and frustration. Having you so close, yet so out of reach was killing him inside – he wished for you to take the obvious hints he was giving of being so down to kiss you, his body aching in despair. 

And he grew even more desperate and frustrated when Jungwon boldly asked you, “Do you wanna go dance with me?” 

Heeseung watched the subtle surprise in your expression as your eyes flicked to him briefly, missing the silent plea for him to repeat what Jungwon had just said.

Still, you hesitated for another reason. Normally one of your friends would push you out of your shell to do what you wanted to, but were afraid of. But not only Jungwon's cute smile got into your heart, you also thought to yourself it was time to make your own decisions, even the simple ones like accepting or not a dance.

“Sure,” you agreed, grabbing the hand he offered you, following him to the makeshift dance floor. 

Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t drift away from how your body moved with Jungwon’s precise lead, your hips synchronized with the rhythm, your happy smile lip syncing the song together with Jungwon. He watched his friend get closer to you to whisper something in your ear, making you laugh brightly, wishing to be the one to make you feel that way, to touch, to have you like that.

Heeseung was growing jealous of Jungwon’s demeanor around you, having his hands confidently resting on your waist, guiding you through the music with ease, whispering things he wished so badly to know what it was.

He knew he was shameless staring, Sunghoon mocking his reactions as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed by the sight of another man touching you.

“Why are Jungwon’s hands roaming all over her body like that?” He asked without taking you out of his sight.

“They’re just dancing, relax.” Sunghoon smiled playfully.

“Jungwon is just being nice to her,” Riki pointed out. “They share a few things in common and they both like to dance, so it was just a convenient situation, y’know? Nothing to worry about.” Riki tapped his friend’s shoulder.

“We all know the girl’s yours,” Jay said.

“She’s not mine.” 

Yet, Heeseung completed it on his mind, but his friends knew all too well about that too.

On your side of the story, despite the warmth of Jungwon’s company, you couldn’t ignore the weight of Heeseung’s gaze, taking a glimpse once and a while of his so unreadable expression. You couldn’t figure out if it was anger or envy or desire or frustration, Heeseung showed you a mix of everything and, God, you wanted so badly for him to do something.

“Heeseung is looking at me like he’s going to kill me,” Jungwon whispered in your ear, and you laughed nervously. 

“I hope he doesn't, you’re too nice and young to die.”

Jungwon chuckled at your response, and then noticed how your body tensed up suddenly. He followed your eyes and you both watched Heeseung’s tall figure standing up and walking towards you two. 

“Mind if I cut in?” Heeseung’s voice was smooth, just like him. Your heart started to race too fast when Jungwon handed you to Heeseung.

“She’s all yours,” Jungwon winked, saying a quick goodbye to you and heading back to his friends. 

Even with now being just the two of you, Heeseung didn’t touch you without your permission, partly because he was scared of not being able to control himself at all. He blinked a few times waiting for you to take the lead and his breath hitched when your hands went directly to rest on his shoulders. 

You gave him a reassuring look, allowing him to touch you, and nearly melted when his fingers found their place on your waist, caressing the place gently as he slowly moved you both to the music. Every so often, your eyes would meet and each time you couldn’t help but blush and smile shyly before quickly looking away, Heeseung thinking how precious you seemed acting like that. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” you started saying after the silence of your voices. “I’d love to dance with you a bit more, but I have to be honest, my social battery is pretty drained already,” your lips curved into a small, apologetic pout.

“Do you wanna go home?” He asked softly, bold hands now moving a bit more freely on your body. You shook your head, since going home equaled being away from his embrace. “Do you wanna get out of here?” You nodded cutely and he smiled, endeared by your behavior. “Come with me,” he said and kindly held your hand to lead you away from the party, not before stepping briefly in the kitchen to grab you both a drink.

Heeseung took you to the back of the house, being one of the owner’s he knew all the places where people could and couldn’t be, so a big part of you felt relieved for not having to deal with a crowd overwhelming your senses. 

“You look quite tired,” he uttered with a hint of concern, as you both walked slowly through the backyard, way less people scattered through it as you just followed him without thinking much about it, focusing on your drink.

“Yep, I think I overworked my social battery today,” you answered with a chuckle. “But it was pretty fun, though. Your friends are really cool.”

“They are.”

You both stopped walking at some point, Heeseung nodded his head towards the low wall that surrounded the house for you both to sit on it, a very peaceful, quiet place to run away from the party chaos. 

“What about you?” You asked curiously, tilting your head to catch his profile before he turned to face you.

“Hm?”

“You don’t seem to be the type to just sit back and watch the party,” you stated, swinging your legs as you finished your drink. 

“Yeah? What do you think I should be doing then?” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, intrigued by your perception about him.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, averting your eyes to anything but him when you said. “Banging with someone?”

“What!?” Heeseung exasperated, as if he was really offended. You laughed out loud with his extremely exaggerated reaction. “Is that what you think of me, Y/N?” 

“Well, y’know, it’s kind of hard to think otherwise. Your reputation doesn't help much,” you explained and forced your best innocent look when your eyes rested on him again. You tried so hard not to laugh at his very deeply offended expression. 

“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’m the person you think I am,” he huffed a laugh, biting his lips right after to glaze his eyes on you. “Don’t even know when was the last time I– Sorry,” he quickly interrupted himself with an embarrassed smile. “I might’ve overshared a bit.” 

You shook your head, smiling away your fluster. “You’re fine. But it's still hard to believe.”

“You should ask my friends, then!” He was really trying to defend himself in this one. “Ask Jake!”

“And he’ll tell me what? That you have a long list of women you hooked up with?” You teasingly wigged your eyebrows, nudging him playfully.

“God, no,” he whined and you laughed at his adorable frustration.

You didn’t know it was this fun to tease Heeseung.

“How do I put this… Mhm,” he looked away, suddenly flustered. You were slightly surprised by his demeanor. It was the first time you witnessed Heeseung being something similar to shy. “I like to kiss,” your eyes grew wide and now was your time to be nervous. “So when I go to parties, I might be found kissing someone if I’m really in the mood, but just because I like to kiss, y’know?” He continued, shrugging, trying his best not to sound crazy to you. “And what I’ve noticed is that the people that I kiss, turn a simple makeout into something more when they talk about it, which almost never really happens if I’m being honest,” he paused. “I can count on my fingers how many women I’ve actually taken to my room.”

You swallowed hard, almost audibly gulped, a mix of sensations running throughout your body with his confessions. 

“And I also enjoy the flirting, y’know. Their reactions flatters my ego,” this time he was so obviously teasing you after he noticed your embarrassment, finding it adorable how your cheeks got painted red.

You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulders in annoyance as he laughed. “I’m not joking, though,” he added. “But once I’m committed, I give up on all of that because I can only think about the person I’m liking.”

All that new information sent your brain into overdrive, unnecessarily attractive the way Heeseung’s voice got low at the end, as if he was telling you a secret, a lustful secret, shivers running all over your spine and you having no idea of what to do. You tried hard not to read between the lines. If you did, you would pick up on the message wrongly, because there was no way he was genuinely hitting on you.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Heeseung hurried to say, his eyes softening on you. 

“No,” you shook your head, chuckling. “I’m just… surprised. Didn’t expect you to be this open,” you admitted, your nervousness waving away from your body, feeling a bit more at ease around him. He still carried his cocky, flirty, charming aura, but now with a taste of honesty you appreciated. 

“I just wanted you to know me, instead of what people say about me,” Heeseung confessed with a tender smile. You nodded, glad for his sincerity. 

You both fell into a comfortable silence, the muffled noise of the party still going serving as a background. Heeseung was so terribly desperate to touch you again, his hands hesitantly hovering yours, yet never really touching it, as you obliviously looked at the scenery surrounding you, the trees throbbing by the quiet breeze relaxing your senses while you took a few deep breaths. 

“Do you wanna go back inside or…?” Heeseung sweet voice eagerly broke the silence, attracting your attention. He was hungry for you, even without tasting you before. His eyes were dripping honey as he watched you consider your options for a bit, pursed lips with a slightly frown.

The peaceful atmosphere embraced you, not only by the cool weather but also Heeseung’s calm, sweet, yet strong presence. You looked through your eyelashes at the adorable bambi eyes that waited anxiously for your answer, blinking slowly. Something has shifted in the air between you two, and surprisingly your body was relaxed with the possible outcome, your heartbeats strong in your chest.

“I’m fine here, actually. What about you? Do you wanna go back?” Your voice sounded way softer than you expected, and just then you realized how close Heeseung’s face was to yours, his alcohol breath mingling with yours mixed with the scent of his cologne, sending you into a trance. 

Your eyes naturally wandered through his beautiful facial features, his cute nose, his sparkly eyes, the little mole on his forehead, and of course, the oh, so kissable lips, tempting you so badly. You never had Heeseung that close to you, and he was so fucking breathtaking.

“No,” Heeseung replied under the same tone as yours. You observed how he hesitantly raised his hand near your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, chills running through your body with the light touch. 

Heeseung took your reaction of not backing off as a green sign, so he jumped off of his seat to place himself between your legs, your sweet perfume intoxicating him as he looked up at you. Instead of going for a kiss as you expected him to do, he gulped and just hugged you by the waist, his face resting on your chest as you heard him taking a deep, long breath. 

Your confused self tried to go with the flow, awkwardly caressing his dark hair, hugging him back. You didn’t understand what he was aiming for, and neither did he, to be honest. He suddenly felt so nervous he forgot how to act, and he realized your presence calmed him down so a hug looked just as right as a kiss.

However, you now were the one growing impatient. “Hee?” You called by his nickname, to which he answered with a muffled “Hm?”, loving the way it sounded in your voice.

“Do you want me to get down so we can kiss?” You audaciously asked, ignoring how hot your cheeks felt right after.

“Please,” he whispered as he parted away from you just to help you to get down, his hand rushing to grab you by the waist while the other cupped your cheek, every touch, every eye contact being so genuinely gentle. 

Your fingers traced up from Heeseung’s chest until they reached his nape to scratch the area at the same time you pulled him closer, and closer. His stomach did a flip with how much he was needing you, so it took no time for him to close the distance between you two, lightly shocking his lips on yours.

The first touch was tender, hesitant, as if you both were testing it out. You moved to grab his bottom lip with yours, your breath hitching a little, shivers of anticipation going all over your skin when Heeseung tilted your head to the side so he could deepen the kiss.

Heeseung hummed against your mouth when he finally tasted you, his tongue brushing yours and sending him instantly to heaven; he immediately tangled his fingers on your hair to pull you near, eagerly wanting more and more of you, before sliding the same hand to your waist, pushing your body to lean it on the wall, pressing his own on your’s.

You two shared an intense desire for connection, once fed by days, weeks only by the tension of your imagination, of ‘how it could be’ or ‘happen’. Now that longing no longer occupied just your minds, becoming reality the more your bodies attracted each other with every touch, discovering new places, new pleasures, new cravings.

Heeseung didn’t know he would yearn you even more after getting a taste of you, and God, you were so addicting. 

At some point you broke the kiss to catch your breath, Heeseung’s fingers exploring your body with a perfect blend of desire and respect, as if he was still waiting for the moment you would ask for a stop although he couldn’t resist to feel every piece of you. Fortunately for him, you were far from wanting him to halter his movements, his lips on yours making wonders on your system, your body feeling like melting for how amazing it felt to have him that intimately. 

Heeseung’s eyes searched for yours, his now darkened gaze made your stomach flutter, your skin tingling from desire. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered on your lips, brushing them slightly. You simply shook your head, capturing his plump-kissed lips again, holding him even closer.

This kiss started urgently, even with Heeseung trying to keep it slow. Your pulse was fast, you needed him more than anything and your whole body was on fire. You could feel Heeseung going through the same, his skin smooth and warm under your hands as you boldly slipped one of them under his loosen shirt to access his back from his neck, mildly scratching the area just to receive a groan as a response.

“Fuck,” he pressed his body flush against yours even more if that was possible, his mouth travelling away from yours to spread hot kisses and small bites all over your jawline and neck.

Naturally your head was thrown back to give him more access to that area, now being your time to moan as an answer. When you paid close attention to every area of yours that was being touched by Heeseung, you noticed his hardened bulge pressing your body and let out a little gasp.

The recognition of you wanting him as much as he yearned you had awakened something inside of Heeseung, making his head lose control and focus on only one thing: you. 

Heeseung was craving you like an animal. 

And his way of showing that was slowing down his kisses, his hands audaciously squeezing your ass, sliding through your body with a mastery it took your breath away. Hesseung was a fucking good kisser, working his tongue on yours just the right enough to make your legs wobbly.

But then you became too aware of everything that was happening and your mind activated all the insecurity thoughts you once had for knowing that the makeout session would never just end there.

When Heeseung tried to kiss you again, you used your hands to lightly push him away and avoided his lips, both of you panting.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked you with confused, puppy eyes. Your heart shattered instantly. 

“No, you’d never,” you kindly caressed his face. “I’m just– I…” You opened and closed your mouth, trying to find words that would not make you sound too off or that would make Heeseung slip away from you, but none seemed right. 

“Y/N, it’s fine, yeah?” He caressed your hips and then your right cheek, pecking your lips sweetly with a gentle smile. His dick in his pants painfully reminded him of how much he was in need of your body, nonetheless he would never force you to do anything, and just the kisses you shared was enough to make his whole year worth. With that in mind, he kissed your left cheek before saying, “Let me take you home, how does that sound?”

You smiled, even with the urge of crying knocking on your door so closely, the bittersweet taste replacing Heeseung’s in your mouth as you gulped it down your throat, damning yourself for being such an overthinked, insecure person that was too afraid of going all the way for God’s knows why. 

“Sounds great, Hee.”

As your usual response after any encounter involving men and the possibility of intimacy, you tried desperately to escape from meeting Heeseung. You would die to kiss him again, and again, and again… But at the same time, Heeseung wasn’t the type of guy who would stop at just kissing and you got a bit of the taste of that – your whole body was on fire just remembering his firm length pressing against your body, the little sounds he let out through the kiss, his hands pulling you closer and closer… And then you freaked out. As always.

Little did you know that Heeseung grew so obsessed with you and your intimate touch that night, that the mere thought of kissing you again consumed his mind just as much as you already captivated every corner of his head before.

The ghost of your lips lingered on his, haunted Heeseung’s memory, making him crave even more of whatever you would be willing to give to him, he would take anything at this point. 

Heeseung noticed you vanished from your obvious encounters, not only by missing the basketball game’s practice, but weirdly not hanging out with your own friends. The possibility of you avoiding him made his heart pound in a mild, strange pain, as he didn’t know the reason behind and simply deduced he did something wrong, like crossed your boundaries or anything similar. He couldn’t live with himself if that was the case and in order to correct that, he needed to see you and properly apologize.

“Do you think I’ve fucked up?” Heeseung was now in Jay's room to vent out his concerns about you, pacing back and forth. Jay was still half-asleep, barely knowing his own name let alone able to deal with Heeseung’s situation.

Fortunately for Heeseung, one of the perks of having a long-time friend is that the said friend would be open to hear you whenever and for whatever reason. 

“What do you mean?” Jay’s voice sounded groggy as he squinted his eyes to face the bright light coming through the window before searching for Heeseung in his room.

“She’s been ignoring me, like literally ignoring my texts and avoiding me,” Heeseung explained, fingers messing his hair nervously. 

Jay let out a deep sigh with a yawn while he sat straight on his bed, running his hand on his hair to try to make it as presentable as possible. “Have you thought about the possibility that she’s, I don’t know, going through something?”

“And how do I fix this?” Heeseung looked at his friend with a hint of desperation. 

“You have to let her deal with her stuff first, Hee.” Jay tried to sound as much as compassionate as he could, watching Heeseung taking the seat beside him on the bed. Jay patted his back. “I don’t think it’s up to you, at all.” 

“I know, it’s just frustrating. I want her so bad, bro,” Heeseung rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands.

“Yeah, never seen you so down for a girl like that,” Jay huffed a little chuckle, amazed by his friend’s behavior. 

“How can I not be? She’s so pretty, and we have such a good connection, and, God, her lips taste like honey. Like, her touches are so ligh–”

“Ok, enough,” Jay rushed to cut off Heeseung’s possible one hour speech about you, and now that you both shared an intimate moment, Jay was one hundred sure he didn’t need to hear such vivid details about it that early in the morning. “Let her do her thing, I’m sure she’ll eventually reach for you, bro.”

“I hope so.”

You weren’t too different from Heeseung though, feeling completely frustrated and in anguish. 

You got your panties dampened in arousal just by having Heeseung touching and feeling you the way he did, and he would not leave your thoughts alone for no second during your days, making it difficult to go through your classes and to focus on your studies without your foots nervously tapping the floor while biting and licking your lips due to your imagination flying by uncountable scenarios. 

All of them with the same outcome: you panicking and leaving him hanging.

“Spill it out,” Sunoo surprised you by hugging you from behind while you waited in the line to order you a coffee.

“God Damn it, Sunoo!” You slapped his arm, hearing him laughing at you. “Why do you always do this?” Your question sounded like a whine. He poked your sides before letting you go from the hug. 

“It’s funny how reactive you always are,” he teased with a smirk. “Order one for me, babe. I’ll pick us a table,” Sunoo said simply, as he started to move away from you. 

“But–”

“No but’s!” He called out already far from you. “I can see your frown from a mile away and I’ve known you long enough to know you’re doing what you like to do the most.”

Your flabbergasted expression was the only thing Sunoo saw before heading to a table on the corner of the store waiting for you to pick the both of you a coffee and head to share the seat with him. 

“I kissed him.” You blurted out as soon as you sat, eyes expressing a mix of despair and excitement. Sunoo opened his mouth in a perfect ‘oh’ that silently asked you to explain it better. “So I went to that party,” Sunoo nodded for you to keep going. “And I was dancing with one of his friends, and then he stepped in and we danced together. You know I don’t usually socialize alone that much, so I was feeling drained already,” Sunoo eyes were sparkling in interest, he loved a good little love story. “Heeseung led me to the backyard, and we chatted for a bit, he made sure that I knew his reputation was all talk,” you chuckled, remembering how anxious he looked trying to explain himself. “And now that I know this, it makes total sense. I never really saw him doing anything too explicit in public, so…”

“Ok, babe. I got that part,” Sunoo rushed you. Normally he would listen to every single word you were saying in order to fully help you, but he was so invested in getting to the point he couldn’t help his impatience. 

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Well, we had a little moment y’know and then we kissed, very cute and all that jazz. Until the things… shifted a bit,” your cheeks blushed.

“Oh?” Sunoo's eyes grew wide just like his smile. “Did you..?”

“No! I didn’t,” you pouted. “That's the thing. I freaked out. As I always do. And now I’m even more desperate than before, because I got to taste what he can offer me and I want more, but I’m so, so, so afraid,” you whined, almost crying as the words came out of your mouth without you caring if it made sense or not.

Sunoo sighed, his orbs now filled with reassurance as he held both of your hands. “Did he force you to do anything?” You shook your head. “He stopped when you asked him to?” You nodded. “Then I don’t think you have to be scared of anything, Y/N,” you were about to interrupt him, but he kept talking. “Listen, if Heeseung it’s into you the way it looks, he’ll respect your boundaries and wait for your consentment. And if he tries something funny, y’know I’ve got your back. I can punch really hard if I need to.”

You chuckled at his wording, knowing that was actually the truth. You were blessed to have someone like Sunoo in your life. “Thank you, Sunny,” you said sincerely. “I’m very grateful for having you.”

“No need to thank me, sweetie,” he kissed the back of your hand, before clapping his and saying excitedly. “Now let’s work on a plan of how you can relax and finally get that dick.”

“Sunoo!” You exclaimed, exasperated, and your friend's loud laugh was the only response you got.

“See you tomorrow, captain.”

You leaned your back against the wall near the door, watching a group of guys walk out of the locker room, some of them narrowing their eyes at you to which you pretended not to see, fakely paying attention to your phone, hoping none of them would stop to talk to you. You had one person in mind only.

“Oh? What are you doing here?”

And it was definitely not Jake.

“Oh, hey,” you smiled awkwardly, pushing your body away from the wall to face Jake. Your eyes darted over his shoulder, scanning if someone was coming after him just before you turned away from the door. “I’m wai–”

“Y/N?”

Your blood ran cold at the sound of your name being called by the voice you only heard in your dreams for the past few days. You tried to swallow down your tension and your shivers, barely registering Jake stepping away from you two to give the space you both needed.

Your body slowly turned to face Heeseung. His hair was wet, and he had a flustered, tired face from the game, a backpack hanging loose from his shoulder, and a small towel on his hands that he was using to dry off the water from his recent shower. His cherry-red lips were slightly parted, and his heavy breathing made your stomach and heart fluttered.

What a fucking vision, you almost whispered.

He had a blend of surprise, happiness and worry in his expression, which softened right after you showed him a small smile, your voice sounding as sweet as honey. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he mimicked your kind tone, his lips curving into a smile as well. He observed your adorable reddened cheeks and your big doe eyes staring at him, filled with expectation. “How are you?” He tried to sound casual, but his voice came out so obviously holding back his desperation. His heart was racing fast, a genuine wave of joy and relief running through his body. You had no right to show up looking so damn cute and expect him to act normal, as if he wasn’t missing you like crazy.

“I’m good,” you replied softly.

Heeseung nodded, never breaking eye contact. You tried hard to figure out what was left unspoken through his intense, yet tender gaze; your skin aching, yearning for his warm touch just one more time, just like that night, just as a reminder of how good it felt, just so you could bring to reality everything that went through your thoughts since the last kiss.

You really wished Heeseung were feeling the same way, or at least something close to it, otherwise you weren’t sure if you could deal with rejection after you struggled to gather all your courage to encounter him.

The tension in the air was suffocating you a bit, the endless silence was killing you inside, nevertheless you couldn’t find the right words to start anything coherent. Gladly Heeseung perceived your body reacting to the strange atmosphere between you two, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel uncomfortable or to make things weird in your little relationship.

So he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours as he bit his bottom lip. “I’ve missed you,” he confessed without realizing he just did, voice quiet, almost like a whisper. You watched his eyes growing subtly wide before you drifted away from them.

Your heart skipped a beat, your cheeks heating up and your hands trembling with the unexpected confession. “I’ve missed you too, Hee.” You admitted looking at the floor, unable to keep looking at the eyes that showed you too much affection right now.

The desire once never forgotten grew stronger inside Heeseung’s chest, he needed you more than anything. His hand reached out for yours, the light brush of your skins sending chills through your spine and taking your breath away. “Can we talk?” He asked softly, relief running on his body when you held his hand back. 

“Yeah, we can,” you nodded, now looking up, not containing your smile as soon as you met his face all lightened up.

“Okay,” he left out a little chuckled, too happy for his own good. “But not here.”

Heeseung and you walked out of the building together, his hands’ grip tight on yours as you simply followed his lead. Your brain was spinning inside your head with the amount of thoughts going on. You didn’t know what to expect the conversation to be, let alone what he would do with you – or what you would do with him. The anticipation was eating you alive, and you thanked God when he stopped in the private area of the campus’ parking lot, guiding you to stand in front of him while he leaned his back on the wall.

“I was not joking when I said I’ve missed you,” he started, now holding both of your hands. You took a step closer, so you could show that you weren’t lying either. “I have to ask, though. Did I–”

You interrupted before he could even start the question, because from the little you knew about Heeseung, he was going to blame himself. “I’m sorry for my reaction that night. I– I think I was a bit overwhelmed,” you explained, focusing the drawings on his shirt to avert his eyes. “I really enjoyed kissing you, God, you have no idea,” you said with a soft laugh. “But I freaked out,” you gulped. “I freaked out because I’ve never–” Your cheeks were burning like fire due to your embarrassment, your words stuck on your throat. Heeseung gently squeezed your hands in a reassuring way, leaning a bit forward to search for your eyes. You finally looked up at him.

“I’ve– I’ve never gone further kissing someone,” your voice came out as an unsteady, low whisper, while you quickly avoided Heeseung’s gaze again. 

But he made sure you would be looking right at his eyes when he said his next words, tilting your chin up with his finger. “I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you, angel,” and he was so, so tender to you. His hand left yours to caress your face with a softness that almost made you melt, automatically leaning into the touch. The new nickname sent a flutter through your stomach. 

“No,” you hurried to say, shaking your head. “You didn’t. It’s just… Me. Me being an insecure mess, I guess,” you laughed awkwardly. 

“Hey, you’re not a mess,” he now held your face between his large hands, forcing you to maintain eye contact. “I loved kissing you, baby. Would love to do more than that,” he smirked, not only showing his desire, but also his understanding. His words and his actions worked in a perfect sync to make your body instantly react, the pulsing sensation between your legs showing how much you were affected by him. “But I would never force you to do anything.” He released your face, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before his hands rested on your waist in a comforting manner. “Would it help if we talked through your insecurities?”

Heeseung was an angel, you realized. A perfect blend of a compassionate angel and a devil who fed your deepest fantasies. You blinked twice to process his offer, not once in your life imagining you would meet someone willing to hear you so openly. “Are you sure?” You asked, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulders.

His lips curved into a mischievous, shameless smirk. The so known cocky, flirty aura making its appearance just to falter right away, as if he remembered it wasn’t the moment to act like that. You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side when he vacillated to speak.

“Now you have to say exactly what you’re thinking.” You said firmly.

“I don’t think I sho–”

“Lee Heeseung,” your voice was serious and he sighed defeated.

“Okay, okay,” he locked his eyes on yours, a hint of playfulness and craving mixed, causing your heartbeat to increase. “Yes, I’m sure I wanna hear what you’re insecure about, Y/N,” he leaned in closer, just to murmur. “I have to know what I’ll be fucking out of you.”

Your eyes grew wide with his sincerity. Yes, you did ask, but fuck, how does one say something so casually? Your whole face was burning with fluster, your flabbergasted expression was clear as crystal water, your brain stopped working properly and you had no fucking idea of what to say or do. 

“I’m sorr–”

But for some reason, shutting Heeseung up with a kiss sounded right.

Your lips shocked against his with a passion you never felt before. Heeseung’s words, the way he touched you, how his body reacted at the simple act of kissing you and having your hands discovering places on his body – everything made you feel secure and desired, the right mix to make it work on you. Heeseung made his way through your shell, placing himself right before your insecurities and little by little, without doing much, he was helping you get over them.

Heeseung shamelessly moaned against your mouth when you bit his bottom lip, sucking it before coming back with your tongue hungrily searching for his’, your heavy breaths mingling while you both devoured the kiss with vigor.

You parted away to speak, your voice sounding low and too sensual for Heeseung’s health. “I hope you’re loyal to your words, Heeseung.”

He took in your now darkened, full of lust, eyes and your swollen, glistened lips due to the urgent kiss you just shared. The view alone made him go insane. “Oh, I am,” he murmured, voice deep and husky, his cocky grin making him look even hotter. He gripped your waist tightly and maneuvered your both so he could press you against the wall, placing his lips on your ear to spread a few kisses before saying, “I’m a man of my word, Y/N. And I’m gonna make sure you never doubt yourself ever again.”

You let out a small gasp and then a little whine, your lips parting and your eyes hooded as you relaxed your body, ignoring your mind screaming at you to run away, replacing the anxiety with the craving you cherished for God’s know how long. 

“I want to hear every single thought that is holding you back, and then, I’m gonna make you forget about all of them,” Heeseung’s breath was hot against your skin, just like his lips, biting, sucking, kissing every area he had at his disposal. 

“Is that a promise?” You decided to play with him on his game, knowing you had no chance against the player anyway. Nonetheless, the foreign feeling growing inside you made words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them, and it was so fucking good.

“Yes, angel. It is a promise,” Heeseung halted his intense diving into your neck to look deep into your eyes. “But I can’t take your virginity here, in a public parking lot.”

Normally you would fumble into a chain of embarrassment and nervousness with your intimacy being said that openly. However, Heeseung managed to word it in a totally different way. His voice was low, sultry, filled with a raw desire that made you realize he still wanted you, even after you admitted inexperience. Heeseung ignited a fire in you.

And then you remembered. You lived in a dorm. “Don’t get me wrong,” your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it back a little. “But I can’t take you to mine.”

His forehead rested on yours while he chuckled, a bit disappointed. But not on you. “Yeah… I can’t take you to mine, as well. Not today, though.”

“So…” You blinked innocently, not knowing exactly what to say or do. 

“We’re not finished yet, angel.”

Unfortunately for you, you realized that what made you so confident and down to go all the way with Heeseung was the fact he was with you, his smooth foreplay skillfully easing your body to relax and enjoy instead of overthinking. 

His kisses helped you to forget your concerns and his hands guided you in a way you didn’t have to worry about what to do, not to mention the fact that he was willing to have sex with you even after you shared your insecurities with him. 

When you two recognized that it wasn’t going to happen that day, the heat went down and you two decided to sit in Heeseung's car to share some more kisses while chatting. Heeseung always reassuring you through his caring – and hot – touches, listening to every word of yours with compassion dripping out of his eyes, understanding and explaining openly to you about what you were curious about.

You didn’t really open up about everything as you usually do with a friend like Sunoo, partly because you believed it would work as a huge turn off and Heeseung would leave you. But also because you recognized that a lot of your thoughts were beyond your control, like the shape or size of your breasts and other similar things.

Heeseung made sure you understood that besides anything, he would find you sexy no matter what, which made you blush and hide your face on his chest while he laughed at your reaction, but it also made you believe his words and feel more confident about sex. 

Nevertheless, through a whole week, a bunch of “do you wanna come over?” texts were dismissed with a lame excuse from you. As said before, his kisses made you ease your mind, and answering such an important question like that without having his mouth working on yours to make you forget about your messy mind, was damn difficult. 

What you didn’t know is that Heeseung wasn’t actually planning to have sex with you the times he invited you. He literally just wanted to hang out. Of course he aimed to kiss you eventually, however his main objective was to make you comfortable with him being around, touching you in places you never got to be touched before, making sure you knew how much he craved your body, how much he wanted you, and that you were safe.

It was a busy week, afterall, full of heavy practices because the final game was getting closer and your presence on the bleachers was one thing that didn’t stop happening this time. You avoided being alone with Heeseung as much as you could, but your lips always missed him, so you had to make the tremendous effort of watching him in every practice. 

“He’s so good,” Julie whispered close to your ear, startling you.

“Who?” You asked confused.

“Your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you rushed to reply with your cheeks already gaining some color. 

“Cut that off, he’s head over heels for you, girl,” Yunjin pointed out on your other side. “It’s almost annoying.”

“Yeah, and you always have this weird look in your eyes whenever you see him,” Julie nudged you with her shoulder. “Like you’re always wanting him so bad,” she said with a forced sensual voice. “I bet the sex is amazing.”

“I don’t think you should be talking about Y/N’s sexual lif–” Sunoo tried to interrupt the subject, noticing your discomfort for being smashed between two – sometimes – very indecent girls. 

“No, but like. She never talks about it. I’m so curious,” Julie whined. “They say the quiet ones are the worst.”

The whistle indicating the last quarter of the practice was over and you jumped out of your seat, running down the stairs to meet Heeseung, not only to be with him but mostly to avoid Julie and Yunjin's inconvenient questions. You didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them about anything sex related, since they both were very sexually active and their actions seemed a bit off whenever you became the topic of the conversation. 

“What’s with the hurry, baby?” Heeseung smiled big while hugging you when you jumped on his arms, caring little to nothing about his sweat sticking to your skin. 

“Missed you,” you said muffled against his neck, your heart beating fast while you felt him moving you to walk on your back, still clinging onto him.

He stopped walking at some point and you let go of him. “I gotta take a shower. I’m getting you all dirty, angel,” your cheeks burned with how you interpreted his words, widened eyes as you looked at him. Heeseung noticed it. “Hey, you dirty minded girl, I’m talking about my sweat on you,” he sneaked his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him to walk with you towards the locker room. 

“I don’t think your explanation makes it less worse.”

He laughed out loud, throwing his head back with your audacious phrase and typically you would find it endearing how he looked so handsome smiling big. This time you paid more attention to his neck and how his Adam’s apple seemed more attractive than ever. His sweat dripping out of his honeyed skin was doing no good to you as well, messing with your head, filling it with horny thoughts.

When you arrived, you patiently waited for Heeseung outside the locker room, greeting a few team’s members you’ve come to know, since it’s become a routine for you to be around.

You were playing on your phone when he left the room, glancing at you with a pretty smile and offering you his hand.

You two walked your way to the parking lot, a common everyday thing you started doing after the days he had practice. Oftenly you would be in his car for a few minutes, sharing caresses and sweet talks, before he drove you to your dorm. 

“Will you watch me tomorrow?” He asked with sparkly, expectant eyes, swinging your arms.

“Of course I will, Hee,” you looked at his side profile. “Don’t forget, I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you winked playfully at him, remembering one of your firsts dialogues alone with him. 

“Yeah,” he stopped walking to pull you closer by the waist, his voice softened. “And I don’t know what to do without you,” his eyes glazed on yours for a while, dripping affection. It took just a second for his lips to find its home on yours, kissing you slow and sweet, enjoying every bit of your addicting taste.

He parted with a little smack sound, pecking your lips a few times. Your breath hitched with his tender touch. He held your hand again so you could keep walking. 

“The coach was afraid of me dating you, he said you could be a distraction to me and bla-bla-bla,” he huffed a laugh, you, on the other hand, froze. Dating? “Little did he know you’re the main reason I have a good performance. I need to impress my girl.”

You had a very shocking expression on your face when Heeseung looked at you to see why you went quietly suddenly. You stopped on your tracks and turned to him, lips parted as you blinked without saying a thing. 

“What?” Heeseung cocked his head, his bambi, confused eyes shined, trying to read you.

“We’re dating?”

“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I never asked yo–”

“You never asked me–” You both said at the same time and stopped, also at the same time. 

Heeseung cleared his throat and with a deep breath he rested his eyes on yours, automatically smiling. “Well, if you’re okay with it, I’d love to call what we have dating.” He said adorably with his hand squeezing yours, “I just assumed we were on the same page, but I’m okay if you don’t want to define it or wanna talk about it more. I’m always all ears for you, Y/N.” He leaned in slightly, his eyes never leaving your. “I mean, I just wanna be with you, and if you are fine with me calling you my girlfriend, then I’d be more than happy to call you that.”

All his words sounded like babbling to you, because that moment, in the middle of the parking lot, you heart skipped a beat as you realized you were so fucking in love with Lee Heeseung. 

You were sure you had heart eyes while staring at his anticipating expression, and you couldn’t care less. You pushed yourself forward so you could kiss him passionately, his hands coming to hold you by your jawline, moving so slowly, so lovingly, so sincerely.

It was a different kiss, it was a love kiss, a confessional kiss, a kiss you only were able to have because of its genuine intentions. 

“I’d love to call you my boyfriend, Hee,” you whispered against his mouth, smiling brightly as he shared the same expression, the same emotion.

As intense as a final game normally is, you couldn’t help but tap your feet on the ground, to the point of you standing up to pace back and forth. The rival university was ten points ahead in the fourth quarter and the minutes were ticking down.

You could see Heeseung's tensed body from afar, the seat you had helping nothing with the view of the game – you took advantage of being the captain's girlfriend to ask to watch the game from up close. But it was your worst decision so far, because you barely saw anything. 

The tension was palpable in the air, your breath caught in your throat at every pass. Your university team managed to close the gap at some point, and when you looked at the clock, the 10 seconds countdown was shining.

Your heart dropped when you saw Heeseung’s bold move of stealing the ball from one of the opposing team member, the crowd yelling as he sprinted down the court, for a fraction of seconds you catched his glance at you, before he focused fully in dribbling whoever entered his way, and then he launched himself into the air, his perfect form aiming directly for the three point line. 

Everything became slow motion as you watched the ball going straight through the hoop, the whole gym exploding with loud cheers as you yourself jumped and hugged whoever were near you with a big smile.

The whole team crowded Heeseung to celebrate, everyone of them shining big smiles but you paid attention to only one. And the said one was searching for you in the sidelines. He broke free from them to jog to you, who also was running in his direction. You jumped on his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and he swirled you while screaming excitedly. “We did it!” 

“You did it, Hee. I knew you could do it.” You answered as happily as him, laughing with joy and tightening the hug. 

Heeseung softly landed you on the ground, his eyes gleaming with his victory. He cupped your face with his large hands, pulling you into an eagerly sweet kiss, no trophy topping the feeling of having you like that.

The cheers grew louder as everyone watched the romantic scene, however nothing seemed real around you two, lost in the bubble you’ve created. “I did it for you, angel,” he murmured against your lips, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I told you before. I have to impress my girl,” and then he kissed you again, your smiles you shared mingling between breaths and small pecks, before he hugged you tightly one more time.

The celebration went for a while. From afar, you observed Heeseung being surrounded by his friends and teammates, getting praised for his skills and how well he did that match. 

You watched from afar how bright and full of joy Heeseung was, his whole face glowing, surrounded by his friends and teammates, celebrating the win, getting showered with praise by everyone. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but remember all the times he got flustered by your compliments, his shy smile in contrast with his darkened eyes, as if your words woke something inside him. You made a mental note to take a little advantage of that later on. 

“The guys left the house for me tonight,” Heeseung murmured as he finally approached you already outside the building, placing his hands on your waist while yours naturally settled on his shoulders. His voice dropped to a tone only you knew the meaning of.

Instantly, your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?” Your voice came out low.

You took in every detail of his beautiful face, his demeanor now softened since a big part of the adrenaline had left his body by now. Despite that, his eyes still sparkled with adoration and a hint of desire. Heeseung licked his lips, sucking his lower one while shifting his gaze between your mouth and your adorable, innocent, yet lustful eyes. 

“Yeah,” he mildly nodded, leaning in closer, but he unfortunately got interrupted by a voice you recognized immediately. Your eyes grew wide.

“Look at you two!” Julie squealed with a smile, clapping excitedly. “You did amazing, Heeseung.” She complimented your boyfriend giving two thumbs up, and you tried to hide your embarrassment by tilting your head towards Heeseung’s chest, who hugged you sideways. 

Yunjin, who was with Julie, nodded in agreement, also smiling. “Yeah, that last point was incredible,” she added, giving your shoulder a teasing nudge to whisper closer to you. “I bet you’re dying to get out of here, huh?”

“Thank you,” Heeseung said with a smile, while you gave an awkward grin in response to Yunjin.

“We’ll leave you two alone,” Julie said with a wink. “Looks like someone’s eager for some private time.” With a final ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck,’ Julie and Yunjin left, leaving you with an astonished, shy expression, and Heeseung with a contained mischievous grin. 

“I’m sorry about them,” you whispered, watching them go before searching for Heeseung’s eyes just to see them already glancing playfully at you.

“Are they lying, though?” Heeseung asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You smacked his chest, unable to give a proper response as you buried your face on his neck, muffling a quiet “Stop,” while he hugged you and let it out a precious laugh.

“But… Can I take you to my place today?” His question sounded a bit hesitant, still sweet as honey, while his fingers gently caressed your back. “We don’t have to do anything, I just wanna be with you,” he explained with kind eyes after you released yourself from his embrace to face him.

You nodded, “You can,” and offered him a small, genuine smile, making him lose control with your beauty and cuteness and kiss you before heading to his car with you.

The drive was calm, nonetheless your body was pretty tense on the car seat. Your brain was spinning with that night’s outcome. While you had an intense desire to finally have Heeseung the way you dreamed of, you couldn’t help but feel anxious about it too.

You craved his body, his touches, his lips, overall, him. And he had demonstrated to be a good guy so far. Heeseung respected your boundaries, always making sure you felt comfortable even with the minimal invasive touches, like when he tried to touch under your skirt one day and you startled in response. He murmured a billion “I’m sorry’s” after the episode, and that alone had your heart fluttering in passion, allowing him to slide his bold touches wherever he wanted to, but never further enough to have you fully.

You gulped down your nervousness, looking at Heeseung’s side profile illuminated by the night lights – his honeyed skin was glowing, his black hair messy with sweat, some strands of hair sticking on his exposed forehead, his perfect nose and kissable lips, everything made you dive into your dirtiest thoughts.

You only noticed you arrived at his house when he broke the silence by announcing it, opening the door for you and grabbing your hands instantly as he led you inside the house all the way to his room.

“Imma take a quick shower, okay?” You nodded. “Make yourself comfortable. Don’t be shy.” He pecked your lips before heading to his bathroom.

You sat on the edge of his bed, analyzing how simple his room seemed to be – just the right amount of things he needed to have, like a wardrobe, a big bed and his gamer computer setup. Being in one’s room, for you, always felt like an act of intimacy itself. 

You were in the same place he changed clothes, he listened to his favorite music, he played his favorite games, he studied… And the same place he touched himself, he had sex with other persons, he had wet dreams…

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, fidgeting your fingers even faster. Your panties got slightly dampened and your body overheated just by thinking of how close you were to Heeseung right now, although you didn’t even had him in your sight.

The sound of the shower turning off indicating he was done showering had your stomach fluttering because he was about to come out of the bathroom, and not a single soul in the earth had you prepared to face his upper body all in display to you – his toned chest were a bit red because of the hot water, being accentuated by a subtle abs, his arms muscles contracting as he dried off his hair.

Heeseung’s boxers peeked through the hem of his sweatshorts, and you swore to God you saw a single droplet of water running all the way down in his beautiful, hot, tanned skin, stopping on his V-line. 

“Are you hungry?” Heeseung’s voice broke you out of your trance, finally making you stare at his face instead of his body. He didn’t deny that your voracious eyes eating him alive send signals directly to his dick, making it twitch inside his clothes. He watched you blink two, three, four times with an unreadable expression, making him frown. “Y/N?”

“Y–yeah?” You snapped out of your imagination of kissing, licking, sucking every part of his body, feeling his skin through your lips. Your mouth watered, but not because of hunger for food. 

“Do you wanna order a delivery or something?” Heeseung cocked his head, shamelessly checking you out as well. If you had the right to devour him with your intense gaze, he had it too, undressing you with his eyes while biting his bottom lip. 

Your skirt was placed gently on your thighs, your tight crop top evidenced your breast and a little part of your belly was being shown, all too tempting to him, eager to see more of your body.

You swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on anything but your desire of having Heeseung fucking you, failling disastrously. “Um, sure. Sounds good,” you managed to say, your voice clearly trembling as your breath got stuck on your airways.

You had to contain a whimper when Heeseung took a step closer, his towel now hanging in his shoulders as he towered you, lifting your head with two fingers holding your chin. “What do you wanna eat, angel?” He questioned, and he was definitely not talking about food anymore at this point.

You felt the heat increase in your stomach, your body shivering with his light, warm touch, acting like it was in withdrawal of whatever he could give you. And you wished so hard for him to offer you everything. 

“I– I don’t know,” you murmured, blinking slowly, parted lips letting out your hitched breath. “What’s your suggestion?” You forced yourself to take a glance at his look, gasping slightly with how he had shifted to an almost breathtaking lascivious one, slightly hooded, serious and attractive just the right amount to make you squirm uncomfortably in your seat.

“I’m afraid my suggestion does not involve food, my love.” Heeseung’s voice dropped a few tones as he bended forward to lean closer, inches away from you, his warm air brushing against your face, his gaze savoring every single one of your reactions.

“What–” You bit your lip. “What does it involve, then?” You asked under breath, a burn sensation taking place on your cheeks as Heeseung’s grin grew. Your pulse increased in the silent, yet full of unspoken desires, room. 

“Well,” he murmured, eyes almost closing as he got closer and closer, lips now touching lightly yours, as he said “I might have to show you. Would you let me?”

Your answer came through actions, your hands quickly took place on his neck and pulled him down to you, tossing the towel to the floor while your mouth chased for his’, desperate for a kiss. It took Heeseung just seconds to react to your intensity, kindly pushing you to lay down on the bed as you tried to keep your lips occupied while moving upwards in a comfortable position; Heeseung crawling on the mattress, never daring to break out the touch.

His fingers dug into your waist while his other arm supported his weight, grinding slowly against your body, pressing his hardened cock on your clothed cunt in order to get any friction he could. A moan escaped your lips, muffled by the kiss, as the heat between your bodies intensified, the thought of causing that reaction in Heeseung making you feel even hotter, more impatient, more desperate for anything he was giving you.

His mouth was working wonders – hot, skilled, passionate as he sucked your tongue, his little groans getting lost in the middle of the kiss. At the same time your fingers brushed his naked chest, his hands infiltrated under your shirt, and your body instantly reacted to the feel of his warm and smooth skin on yours.

Though Heeseung had waited for what felt like ages to have you underneath him like that, he was aware of your insecurities and the fact that it was your first time. Despite how your body responded to his touch, he knew that taking it slow was the right choice, so he made sure you felt safe and cherished as he savored every second. 

Heeseung unhurried his movements, gently parting the kiss to catch his breath and taking the opportunity to enjoy the view – your parted, glistened and swollen-kissed lips, your hooded eyes, hiding your lust behind them, but showing him adoration. He smiled, placing a sweet, tender kiss on your jawline, downing to your neck and collarbone, getting drunk on your scent with his lips trailing kind and lascivious touches on your skin.

You grabbed his hair with your hands, pulling Heeseung even closer to your body – as if it was possible – in a way of distracting the anxiety building up on your core. But then you pushed him away, and he showed you a confused gaze. 

You smiled shyly and moved your hands so you could undress yourself from your shirt and toss it onto the floor, revealing part of your gorgeous body to his eyes, your breasts placed in your black bra attracting his attention.

“You’re beautiful,” Heeseung whispered, filled with sincerity and care, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, the most cherished treasure he ever had, with the perfect mix of desire, eyes dripping the need of having more of you.

His touches were light as he traced his fingers from your waist all the way to your clothed boobs, his eyes never leaving yours, taking in every little reaction, every little sound. He paused to ask tenderly. “Can I take these off?” And when you nodded and helped him to remove your bra, he smiled, not holding back his delighted sigh at the sight of your pretty and hardened nipples.

You felt exposed and your cheeks flushed with a dark ton of red, you had nowhere to hide so you just let Heeseung adore you, until his mouth placed kisses near your breasts, giving you time to assimilate that new experience.

You couldn’t hold back an audible gasp when his lips brushed your sensitive bud, his hot tongue swirling it to suck right after, not too intense, not too light, just the right amount, as if he knew exactly what to do with your body to make you go insane.

“Hee–” you moaned his name when drifted to give the proper attention to your other boob while his hand massaging the already a bit swollen one.

The sound of your voice whining Heeseung’s name sent a wave of electricity all over his body, directly to his neglected dick. While he kept going down with his mouth through your belly until he reached the hem of your skirt, he humped slightly on whatever could give him some friction on his sensitive bulge.

He halted his movements when he achieved your inner thighs to look at you with reassuring eyes and a soft smile. “Tell me to stop if you want me to,” his lips kissed the area and you tensened your legs, not used to being touched in there. However, if it felt too good and in no world you wanted Heeseung to stop.

“I trust you, Hee.”

And Heeseung couldn’t ask for a better way of you saying what he needed to hear. He kept placing hot kisses on your thighs and you bent your knee, the position giving him the full view of your ruined panties, a pool of arousal making it stick to your cunt, the drawing of your folds making its personal show right in front of his eyes.

Heeseung’s mouth watered. He remembered every time he imagined being buried between your legs and, God, he didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself down on this one.

“Would you be okay if I–” He gulped, searching for your eyes, which were already glancing at his drunk-looking figure with curiosity. You never saw that expression on Heeseung’s face, and for some reason it made your clit pulse, clenching around nothing. “If I eat you out? You can say no if you don’t feel comfortable doing it on your first time, but I would appreciat–”

“I meant it when I said I trust you.”

You cut off his ramble for two reasons: one, because you weren’t prepared to hear his speech that would pretty much make you feel even more embarrassed; two, you were desperate for some relieve, your body literally aching in desire to feel your release, and if his hot mouth and tongue felt that good on your skin, you shivered just by the thought of having them on your sensitive area.

“Thank you,” Heeseung sounded really relieved that you accepted his request. “I’ll remove your skirt, is that okay?” He asked softly and you nodded, hands gripping on the sheets without knowing much more what to do.

Heeseung tossed your clothing piece on the floor, and when he was about to prepare himself to dive into your pussy, you grabbed his hair. He instantly stopped what he was doing, his heart did a flip with the thought of you giving up on your words, although he would obey whatever your decision was. 

But when he looked at you, he noticed your shy smile. “Can you remove your shorts too?”

He let out a little chuckle, “Of course,” and stood up to do what you asked so adorably for him to do.

You enjoyed the view of his dick hard inside his, now, tightened boxer. You wondered if he would fit in you, but you didn’t have time to think much of it as he went back to his position, gaze shifting between your clothed cunt and your anxious eyes. “Are you okay, princess? Remember, you can always ask me to stop.”

“Yes, Hee. I’m okay,” your voice came out between hitched breaths. “Please, do something, it’s hurting,” you pleaded with a little whine, and that was the green sign for Heeseung to sigh and groan by the sight of you, needy of his mouth on your pussy. 

He placed a delicate kiss right on your clothed clit, simply for you to feel comfortable with your area being touched for the first time. Heeseung heard your little moan before losing himself in his mind, distributing hot touches with his lips all over the area. 

He then removed your last piece of cloth, the view of your pussy in full display made him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, his cock throbbing inside his boxers.

You had your eyes closed, trying to ignore the fact you were very exposed, to focus on the amazing feeling of Heeseung’s hot breath directly where you needed him the most. You moaned when his tongue licked experimentally your folds. 

Heeseung slipped his hands under your legs to hold you in a position he gained a better support and kept you open for him as he worked on your cunt. 

Your sweet taste melted on his mouth as he ate you out willingly, the tip of his nose brushing on your sensitive clit as he skillfully moved his head to stimulate you in as many areas as he could – his tongue teasing to enter in your entrance, the foreign feeling making you squirm in a bit of a discomfort that quickly waved out of your body because of how good your clit being stimulated was making you feel.

It was a mix of sensations you never really felt; you had touched yourself before, but nothing compares to Heeseung’s amazing mouth and tongue licking, sucking and making out with your pussy. You could feel the knot forming on your stomach as you tensed your body. 

“Heeseung,” you moaned a bit loud. “I think I’m close–” 

Heeseung broke out of the trance he got himself into to listen to you, afterall he wanted to take care of you. “I want you to cum on my mouth, is that okay princess?” He asked between little pecks and licks on your folds and clit. You nodded, not knowing exactly if he was seeing you do so.

“Could you look at me, angel?” He questioned, his voice sounding too sweet to the lustful view he was offering you. Hair stuck on his forehead, nose and chin glistened with your arousal. “There you go,” he smirked before diving again into your pussy, his eyes now never leaving your face, even when you rolled your eyes and threw your head back, trying hard to keep with his request.

Your orgasm hit almost instantly, the mix of his devilish looks and how he ate you so passionately worked together for you to achieve your release in his mouth, Heeseung drinking not only your juices, but all of your moans and whines. 

He left the area after pecking two, three, four times, and then trailed kisses through your body until he reached the corner of your mouth, watching you breathing heavily with a small smile adorning your lips. 

Heeseung decided not to kiss you right away, not only giving you time to recompose but also avoiding you to feel the taste of yourself in his tongue. He loved you for a while, gently brushing his lips on your skin, kissing once and a while, until he felt your hands caressing his hair, tenderly. 

“Are you alright?” Heeseung questioned after a while, searching for your eyes.

“Mhm,” you nodded lazily. However, you knew it wasn’t the end, and mostly, you wanted more. 

“Do you want to stop?” He caressed your face, moving away some strands of your hair. You shook your head, mischievously smiling. You could feel his still clothed dick literally twitching on your leg, and although your last orgasm was intense and you got a bit tired, you needed to have him even closer to you.

“You are hard as hell, Hee,” you giggled, catching his eyes darkening again. “And I need to feel you inside of me,” you looked at his lips before pulling him down to kiss you properly.

As earlier, the urgency of the touch grew faster and faster, and Heeseung had to remind himself once more that he needed to go slow.

He parted the kiss just to ask with a serious voice “Are you sure about this?” 

“More than anything in my life, Hee. I want you,” you gently caressed his cheek, smiling when he pecked your lips before getting on his feet to finally remove his last clothing piece, revealing his whole body to you.

You swallowed when his dick jumped out of his boxers, throbbing, covered in precum, all because of you. You whined with the view, propping yourself up on your elbows when he got closer to your face since he had to get a condom in his nightstand. Your hand automatically rushed to grab his length, peeking up at his face at the right time to catch his face contorted in shock and then, pleasure.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, enjoying the warmth of your skin on his neglected, sensitive cock. It was clear you didn’t know exactly what to do, but the movement of going up and down was enough to make Heeseung’s knees weak. He was weak for you, afterall.

Heeseung let you try out whatever crossed your mind and enjoy yourself for a bit, because it meant you were comfortable enough with him to do so, and your endeared and erotic gaze hypnotized him too strongly for him to stop you.

He made sure to moan your name, watching your body reacting to it, trying his best to make you get wet again and make things easier later. He wasn’t faking it, though. Your hands really were doing wonders on his shaft – he watched you positioning yourself to sit on your knees, face with a faint focused frown as you cupped his tip, moving your hand in circles.

Heeseung rolled his eyes, the sensitive area of his dick getting the attention he needed was sending him out of orbit, and you were using just your hands. 

“You– You have to stop,” he said as he gently held your wrist, halting your movements. His closed eyes prevented him from noticing your guilty expression, until he heard your voice.

“Sorry,” you murmured quietly, thinking you have done something wrong.

“No, baby. It’s not– I almost came,” he admitted. You didn’t know simple words could make your body heat that fast, your stomach instantly did a flip with his sincere confession. 

Heeseung’s lips met yours right away, his body leaning forward so you both could go back to the previous position. 

He placed himself in between your open legs, his gaze softening as he watched your anxious face. “I’m going to prepare you,” he explained with a low voice, kissing your neck as his hands went down to find your folds, touching you to collect your arousal and use it to lubricate his finger, “Don’t forget, your word is what guides me.”

Your body fully tensed when he pressed his digit near your entrance, “Relax, my love,” he murmured and kissed your cheek and then your lips. Your heart fluttered with the pet name. “I’ve got you, okay?”

You nodded, closing your eyes tightly, afraid of the pain you were so sure you would feel, however, Heeseung’s light touches on your sensitive area and the kisses he spread over your face got you distracted, almost making you miss when he slid a finger inside you. Your breath got stuck on your throat and he didn’t move, waiting for your body to adjust to the new intruder. 

“I’ve never– I’ve never ever put anything inside me before, so it’s all new,” you admitted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief for verbalizing your discomfort. 

“Yeah? You’re doing great, angel.” Heeseung encouraged, gently pulling his finger out while kissing you. You squirmed, a bit uncomfortable. “Such a good girl for me, mhm?” 

His wording caused you to clench involuntarily around his finger, a reaction which didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. He kept kindly pumping his single finger inside you, teasing to add one more as you whined against his mouth, while he whispered sweet words of encouragement.

“You feel so amazing,” Heeseung said, and something popped into his mind. He decided to test the waters with a dirtier talk, his hot breath tickling your ear. “I can’t wait to feel you around me, so tight and wet,” he kissed your earlobe, his husky voice and words making you whole body shiver, “I promise, Y/N, I’ll make you feel so good,” his teeth nibbled your sensitive spot on your neck and you slightly arched your back, moaning, not even noticing when his second finger entered you.

You were panting a bit, messily whining and squirming, your fingers threaded through his hair, gripping it firmly, forcing him into your neck.

“You’re so tight, I don’t think I’ll last long when I get inside you,” Heeseung sounded muffled, loving the way you squeezed even more around his digits. “Can you feel how my fingers stretch you so well, baby?” His question sounded rhetorical to you, because it was obvious you felt the way he stretched you so amazingly good, your toes curling just by that. 

“Hee, please–” You pleaded not quite sure what you were asking for, but your eyes locked onto his with a desperate need. His fingers worked so perfectly inside you, making you wonder how you could be so close to tearing, yearning for his dick, which you never ever had before. 

Heeseung grinned, eyes dripping with desire and fondness, wandering your whole body as he removed his digits from you, “My baby seems a bit desperate, doesn't she?” He teased, chuckling. You watched as he coated his dick with a condom, jerking it off with the precum he collected before to prepare himself for you, never breaking eye contact. He leaned closer. “Don’t worry, I’m just as desperate as you are, my love,” and with that he positioned his tip in your entrance.

You tensed again, but Heeseung's sharp instincts caught the subtle change in your reaction. To help you relax, he covered one of your nipples with his mouth, warm lips sucking the sensitive area, making you moan. His body pressed into yours distracting you from the pain as well.

“Ah–” you gasped, frowning with a flicker of discomfort as he slid his dick inside you; your hands grabbed his shoulders, squeezing with a certain strength as you tried to get over the burning feeling in your cunt.

Heeseung was on the verge of insanity, his sensitive cock aching with your walls tightening around it, so eager for some more friction. He had to dig self control from the deepest place of his mind in order to keep going. 

“Shh. I’ve got you, my love,” he kissed your wrist, and then your shoulder, and then your neck, and then your cheeks, and finally your lips, while slowly getting himself fully inside of you, moaning as he did so. “You drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, loving how messy you were kissing him, your expression changing little by little from a discomfortable to a pleasant one. 

Heeseung remained still for a moment, making out with you while waiting for your body to adjust to his dick. You gently waved your hips forward with a little groan at some point, a silent plea to get more of what he was offering you, and he got the sign immediately. 

With a tender smile and after pressing his lips in yours once more, Heeseung began to move, thrusting into you with a necessary slowness at first, that became unneeded the second you started to feel only the delight of being full.

His tip rubbed a certain spot in you that made you flutter your eyes shut while rolling them, moaning loud. “You liked that, angel?” He asked, desperate to pound harder and faster onto you, still controlling himself. “Tell me, please,” he looked at your lips parted, his name being the only thing coming out of them.

“Y–yes, Hee. It’s so fucking good– Ah,” you threw your head back in the pillow, his response to your compliment making him thrust deeper. “You feel so good, fuck.”

Needless to say that your praise to Heeseung’s work was enough for him to almost fully lose his inner battle of going easier with you. His head rested beside yours and while his movements grew faster, your voice got louder and louder; your fingernails sinking into the skin of his back, his moan close to your ear making you see stars with the overwhelming feeling. 

“I’m close,” you whispered, feeling the known knot on your stomach growing stronger as Heeseung kept pounding into your g-spot. You opened your eyes to lock eyes with him, who already had positioned himself to do the same – both of you wanting to see each other reaching their respective climax. 

“Come for me, princess,” he demanded with a groan. “Show me how good I’m making you feel.”

The view of Heeseung’s forehead damped in sweat with strand of hairs sticking to it, his parted lips every so often being bit by his teeth while letting out the prettiest sounds and his heavy breaths, his eyes showing your affection, desire, urgency in achieving his own release, and his dirty words, all of it blended together, worked perfectly for you to achieve your orgasm.

A strong wave of desperation and pleasure ran over your body and took you milliseconds to cum all over Heeseung’s dick with a loud moan, your pussy tightening harder around his cock while he drove you through your high at the same time he chased for his own. 

“Fuck,” Heeseung moaned, keeping thrusting faster and faster, a frown of concentration adorning his forehead and then he saw you, pretty face contorted in pleasure, your mouth letting out the hottest moans of his name. You felt his cum filling up the condom inside you the same time he moaned your name, making you hiss while he pumped into you a bit more. Eventually he removed himself from you, flopping into your body, tired. 

You thought you just had hit cloud nine with the amount of joy and excitement running inside you. A sense of realization making you smile brightly. You enjoyed the sound of your respirations working its best to recompose itself and Heeseung’s heartbeats against your chest.

“I have to say,” your voice came out a bit husky as you lovingly caressed Heeseung’s sweaty back. “Now I do accept the food.”

You heard Heeseung chuckle on your neck, before he kissed there and then your lips. “Yeah, me too.”

The morning after your first night together with Heeseung was filled with doubts.

After the sex, you both got cleaned up and ate the said delivery while watching something on the tv.

Obviously Heeseung didn’t let you go back to your dorm, needing to feel your warm embrace as much as possible. So you two slept together on his big bed, cuddling.

But then you woke up earlier than him, and you took your sweet time to appreciate his serene expression, deep in his sleep – his soft breath, his pretty eyelashes, his slightly parted lips. You sighed, a weird feeling eating away you inside, afraid of being left alone after the last night.

What if he said all of that just to have you one time? What if he did all he did just for that moment to happen? What if he didn’t really mean any of his words? What if he didn’t enjoyed it the way you did?

“What’s with the frown?”

You startled with Heeseung’s groggy voice breaking the silence of the room. “Nothing,” you awkwardly smiled and of course Heeseung didn’t buy it.

“Tell me,” he blinked slowly to focus on your pretty face, snuggling his body into yours. “Tell me what’s going on in this pretty head of yours, my love.”

You gulped, heart racing with his new way of calling you. 

Love.

You got lost in your mind for a while before asking “Will you leave me now?” The question came out a bit more stupid than you expected, but at the same time, it was sincere. 

Heeseung propped himself up on his elbow to give you a proper look. He removed the hair from your face with a gentle touch, caressing your cheeks with the same amount of care. His voice sounded low. “No,” he shook his head, eyes full of adoration, endearment, and love. “I’ll not leave you. Actually, I’m even more attached to you, my love,” his, oh, so known smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.”

You hurried to shake your head, taking in every detail of his pretty features. 

“Then I’m staying, and I’ll be taking anything you offer to me,” Heeseung kissed your lips in a different way. Slow, tender, filled with this new emotion – love.

You parted the kiss to look into his sparkly eyes, smiling.

“Then I offer you my everything, Heeseung.”

Their Little Agent

Pairing: mafia! (taeyong, Jaehyun, Mark, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin) x undercover agent! reader

Genre: SMUT, Romance, Mafia

W.C: 32k. Network: @k-vanity

Warnings: smut smut smut...YES I AM DOWN BAD FOR NCT...mention of crimes, trafficking and talk of selling off reader, inappropriate touch, dirty talks, and they got good beatings from our y/n, mention of mafia business and dirty business, threats, crying, sedative, unconscious, blood, trust, sexual-harassment (just a small mention), possessiveness, pool sex, fingering, cock-warming, biting, choking, lots of kissing, anger, dominance, corruption, dom-sub dynamic, threesome, four+fivesome(?), slight switch! reader, slight switch! hyuck, dom! nct, sub! reader, oral(f and m rec.), voyeorism, lots of cum, clothes on sex, nipple play, edging, orgasm denial, unprotected sex(don’t do it sillies), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, aftercare and the romance.

NOTE: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. I don’t know if this is how you wanted it to be but I hope you have enjoyed <3. @jolinaprincess thanks for waiting for this so long and here it comes the menu you have ordered. I deserve NCT, please help me to get them. pleaseeeeee ;~; MDNI🔞

HAVE FUN BABYGIRLS!

The  Flamingo Club is always vibrant and loud like many other days. Even if the venue is a nightclub, with its different guests visiting the rooms led it to become busier in the daytime too. The different businessmen requested for the private rooms and scheduled the meetings in the early hours of the morning. It welcomes a lot of workers in different positions and well you ought to be the one of them.

Being a government official, also an undercover agent, you need a change of environment. Of course, you can't lead a normal life like any other person but definitely can escape reality for a while. A nightclub offers an exhilarating escape from the everyday, where music, dance and social interaction create unforgettable experiences. Moreover, for you this is more than just an enjoyment. This nightclub attracts a diverse crowd, often including young adults, party goers and socialites. Some have dresses ranging from casual chic to more formal. You have heard about the security and safety measures of the club – it has strict protocol and policies to maintain a safe environment.

But it's far from that. There's news in the underground world that the nightclub is rumored to be a part of a trafficking ring that deals with children to young adults. Even if sometimes, you are not on official terms with government work, yet you have an unethical right to be an undercover agent for your team. Well thanks to Wooyoung for still keeping the trust in you and giving you the known position but without letting anyone else know about it. Your team is well professional to keep this as a secret and you are helping them in a lot of work when you are not assigned. Not like you loved to do it but an inner instinct worked to do the work for good, your stubbornness.

And, so as you joined the club as a waitress, a new mission of finding out the hidden secrets of the club. You introduced yourself as a broke university student, thanks to Hongjoong for the fake id card and your false family details. You scoffed mentally about San -- as your older brother and he is staying abroad. What a loser story!  Who will believe that he is actually an official snipper and if the person in front of you doesn't allow you to work over at the place, then his end is right at the moment by your so-called fake brother.

"so, you are working here for a while?" the man sips his drink, eyes checking out your black corset dress, length ending just above your knee with black and silver straps adorning your shoulders. You are an attractive and special waitress who is often referred to serve the private customers. Do you love the job? Hell no! if they think about doing anything further, you are going to chop the hand off and kill them, then and there.

You look up from the tray where you are placing the different Bourbon bottles and fancy glasses for a group of people sitting at the far corner of the dance floor, "one month to be well aware of your useless antics." your one brow raised and a sly smirk admiring your red lips.

His eyes are fixed on your pillowy lips and licked his own lower lip, meeting your gaze once again, "didn't mean any harm with a light conversation. You know, I can't leave a young beautiful girl like you alone doing her work here. Why don't you enjoy the floor like everyone else?"

You inhaled before taking the tray in your hold and stepping aside from the counter. The man also leaned back from the other side of the counter and following your movements, he could see a little bit of tiredness in your form. Halting in your steps, you whipped your hairs by a swift movement of your head and glanced at his standing figure. A black neat suit with his black undershirt buttons undone from top and stopped in the middle, his bare sweaty chest peeking. He catches your gaze when he whistles and smiles quickly when you glare at him.

"I don't have time like others." You glance towards the people of your age, laughing and dancing crazily like maniacs. "why don't you go and join them?"

"I'm waiting for you." Staring at his face, you see his plump lips, neon lights falling on his pointy noise with his flirty gaze and his messy black hair is really complimenting his look.

You roll your eyes at his boldness when you step forward towards the direction of the table. A presence made aware behind you when you stop and quickly turn around, "now don't follow me-"

"don't go out alone today. You are not safe there." The man is no longer flirting with you but having a serious expression and looking around to scan his surroundings but you are nowhere believing any of his words because you are well aware of your goal to be at this exact place and your position to get yourself safely out of any danger.

Tilting your head to the side, you smirk, "do you know me?"

"no but-"

"Then don't even care about me." you licked your lower lip with the tip of your tongue and stared at him, "don't think of following me again, Mr. pretty face." With that you left him there standing at the middle of the way towards the lounge area at the end. He stares at your figure and brings his glass to the lips, smirking into the glass while sipping the liquid.

Humming to the taste, he closed his eyes, "so sweet and sexy."

.

.

.

Serving the customers is not big of a deal but encountering some psycho and weird assholes are the real problems. Just like right now, the table where you are placing the glasses and pouring the respective drinks into it.

"baby, how much more do we need to offer for a single night?"

You continue to ignore those shitheads until one grabs your hand and pulls you on his lap. You gritted your teeth and attempted to stand up when he brings his arms around your waist, bringing you close to his body, the smell from him is disgusting --- the reek of sweat and alcohol. You want to throw up so bad. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Come on darling. Don't be a joy-kill. We all want fun and you are fighting away the feelings." He brings his face closer to yours when you turn away in disgust. Only if he knew that you can just call your teammates to kill him and bury his rotten body somewhere unknown.

"do you have a death wish, fucker?" you glare at his direction and his friends.

He laughs with his friends loudly, "aww, trying to act feisty. You are too sweet for that. But the name is Jackson for you."

"fucker suits you more." A sudden voice boomed and there he stood --- another pretty face. Well, he looks a bit more manly than the previous man. And the expression on his face clearly shows that he is not having it for good. "I would suggest for you to leave her."

"and, why would I?" that fucker has the audacity to tighten his grip around you and chuckles at him, "are you her knight in armour or like that?"

The standing man smirks, a fresh refreshment drink in hold, when your eyes met, he signals you to look down and then when you understood the point, one hand around you has been loosened and taking the opportunity in advantage, you hit your elbow to his side of the end ribs and quickly stepped away.

"What the hell!"

The smirking man mimics his tone but chuckles, "wow the heavens. Well done, princess." You don't know why but the endearment feels so loved and it really did make you blush but you soon compose yourself to stare at the scene with wide eyes. The man beside you punches the fucker across his face.

"You know you deserve much more than that but I'm not in a mood." His husky voice really does wonder to you. But there's one more thing, he is not afraid of violation and he looks so familiar. Is he related to some well known people who could help him with this?

"you-", before that shithead could stand up, the man threw his liquid at his face.

He scoffed, "you don't learn lessons in one go. No wonder you are here with your useless friends."

"I will just-"

"Jackson, your dad is calling. He won't be happy to know that we got in a fight here. Let's go." One of the friends stood up and signaled others to quickly exit the club and when the said boy was not budging from his position, the other one dragged him from there but still he gave a flying threat, "I will see you around and won't leave you so easily."

"of course, if you stay alive." The man winks and watches the boy being dragged away to the door. When he turns to your side and you are already picking up the two sealed bottles from the table, "what are you doing?"

"picking up these two. Don't want to let it go to waste." You stand in front of him, blinking up at his tall figure, "you shouldn't have to beat him. it might get you in trouble."

"don't worry about that. You were in trouble so I had to but you should have fought for yourself." He tugs a strand of hair behind your ear, "a princess like you attracts bad people a lot." You pull your lower lip between your teeth.

"thanks. I didn't want to get in a fight...an useless one. My manager would have gotten me out of here soon though." You tell him and spot your partner in this night-shift walking towards you, your eyes return to meet his mysterious brown orbs. The music felt deafening the longer you stared at him, his aura is pulling you in towards him even when you know that you have no such time for some...love?

"I should get going..."

When you step aside, he grabs your arm and to which you, surprisedly look at his eyes, "can I get your name?" his flawless skinned face and his black hairs falling over his forehead, adding an attractiveness to his already charming look. His black coat with a white shirt tucked neatly, makes him look like a perfect gentleman and he might be here after office hours to wash off the stress and anxiety.

You can't disclose your name to a stranger but still an inner voice is screaming at you to tell him everything about you. Are you going crazy? Maybe. You part your lips, fighting with your own thoughts when you blurted out, "Ruby." A fake name should work, apparently this is the name you are going by in this club.

"Well, that really suits your red lipstick. You look pretty." He smiles, his eyes shining under the lights and loosening his hold around your arm, but you keep staring at him, as if you have something to say but you escape the place quickly. He chuckles at your running figure and brushes back his hairs, fishing out his phone and pressing a certain name to call and bring it to his ears.

He sits on a chair in front of a bar across from yours, on the other side of the other dance floor,

"Hey, Taeyong...are we still up for the meeting?"

He watches your figure working with the amount of glasses altogether and occasionally glances at the dance floor and at the upper floor private area entrance. He furrows his brows in curiosity and leans back in his chair, the more he is watching you the more interesting you seem. Handing over an order tray to your partner, you slump into a chair beside you and your eyes wander around the venue. What are you watching? Your gaze stops on a particular spot and he follows the direction when he spots someone familiar.

"He is here."

The person on the other side of the call hums, "good. What are you doing right now?"

The man at the club's bar, taking the glass from the counter and swirls the liquid, chuckling into the call, his eyes returning to your direction when your eyes meet. The corner of his lips curls up and he gestures his glass upward to cheer you, sending a quick smile to him, you went back to work.

"I think I like it here. Never knew this place could be more interesting and pretty."

Taeyong chuckles on the other side of the call, "and what's the name of this pretty distraction?"

"Ruby." The man tastes the name on the tip of the tongue and lets it roll for a while as if he is calling you for some reason. His eyes are still in your direction, you can see you are focusing on the people entering the venue and sitting around the chairs near the bars, often meeting your sparkling yet tired eyes.

"That's her name? Oh, I want to see her."

The man shakes his head, sipping the liquid, "that's the color of the red lipstick she is wearing."

"Man...you are so gone for it. I want to see her too. And you know her being there can be a threat too." Taeyong's serious voice made the man nod his head and hum in agreement. "Well, I'll be there soon. Save for me some."

"of course."

It's been such a busy shift tonight but without any important work done. You are keeping your attention on everything, everyone and every corner. The conversations around you are boring --- rather useless. What will you do with their unhappy times in their relationships? Some having down days at the workplace? Some have family issues. You scoff mentally at the thought --- atleast they have a family. I don't even know how that feels.

The phone in your pocket rings and starts vibrating, it's a signal for you to excuse yourself from the washroom and as soon as you are away from the loud area and inside a cubicle, you wait for everyone to leave the restroom area until you lock yourself inside it.

"hello!", saying it in a low voice, you check your surroundings to keep assured that no one is there.

"hey, looking pretty, by the way. So, got any info?"

You sigh and lean against the counter and look at your reflection on the mirror, lining with the golden lights, giving it a classy and expensive look with the white tiled walls and marbled floor. "nothing, Wooyoung. I doubt if the news was true." You are pretty and many have said it to you but you want to feel pretty, to get to know that someone desires to be with you for how you lead your life --- how pathetic and stressful you live.

All those boys and men just want to spend a night because your body and face is pretty. They don't want to know about you --- who you are and what you do.

"smarty pants, If we knew what's right and wrong. Do you think you would be there to find out?" he laughs into the call and you roll your eyes at his antics. It's his usual behavior and after all these years, you are used to his nonsense and teasing.

"I think I'm gonna leave tonight soon. Let's see for one more week and then I am off to a different country."

"but you said there's supposed to be a meeting. What about that?" now he is curious but he can't pressure you to do your work because he knows better, that you always do it perfectly and neatly.

You nod, putting away stray hair from your face, smiling to yourself, "what do I get after this mission?"

"y/n?"

"tell me. will I get to live a life like others? Like the way those around my age wasting their night over the drinks and dancing their hearts out and then their loved ones taking care of them after going back home. What about me, Woo?" your voice in the end is just above a whisper.

He gets what you are feeling, sometimes you get overwhelmed with all this stress and being an undercover means to live different lifestyle with different identity yet being distant from everyone around you but you loved this job but after the day the leader, Hongjoong shouted on you for messing up a mission, you feel yourself low and think of quitting this job but for your teammate's sake, you are stuck in this place.

"you will get money and then you can have fun for a while. I'll tell Hongjoong to give you a break, meanwhile I can manage this job with Yeosang."

"I'll not mess this mission up like the last one. I promise." you glare at your reflection.

"I trust you, y/n."

You shake your head, "Ruby. Call me that."

"okay, agent. Copy that."

.

.

.

"are you leaving for home?" Giselle eyes your handbag and your fingers working to call a cab, nodding your head to her question, you search for an appropriate location to drop you at because you can't reveal your address to anyone. "you have one more customer to serve."

"you can do it for me."

"I wish I could but my friends are already here tonight and Boss has assigned you for the service." She smiles and grabs her beer bottle, which is already drunk one-fourth of it. you eye her, the excitement to meet her friends visible on her face and you envied it at the moment yet you felt happy for her that she has people waiting for after her work. "I have prepared the tray for you, bring it to room no. 0127." She leans closer to your ear, "I heard an important business meeting is going on. No one is allowed unless asked for. Be quick, girl."

Leaving you at the couch behind the counter, she skips towards her friends' table and you roll your eyes before groaning internally and resting your head against the leather headrest, closing your eyes and feeling tired of all this chaos. You are going to kill those people who are running the trafficking ring for making you work so hard. Wait. Is it something related to the business meeting in this room?

Forcing your eyelids to part, you pulled yourself from the comforting posture and stood on your heels which is already your biggest enemy at the moment. Taking the tray in your hold, leaving your bag at a safe place and putting your phone inside the pocket, making your way to the V.I.P. area. The loud music is booming inside the venue and there you silently walk towards the stairs.

The half-spiral stairs leading to the next floor for the VIP section where the security protocol is tighter and without any official worker or any top tier customers, the entry is impossible.

Scanning your id at the entrance, the security permitted your entry and as soon as you stepped inside the heavy wooden and metal door, a different soothing atmosphere and pleasant smell surrounded you, the closed doors restricting the loud chaotic atmosphere behind it. it's peaceful here but there's this itching danger around you.

The room plate in front of you is the one your last service spot and you ring the bell quickly to get over with this night. It's weird to take so long to open a door but you wait, tapping your feet against the floor and getting impatient with every passing second. Your eyes lock with a man walking towards you in the long hallway but stop at the door beside the one you were at, he eyes your whole figure and smirks at the view, but when your eyes land on a suitcase, your curious eyes scan his whole formal business look.

He enters his door when the door in front of you opens.

"you?" the young man in front of you raises an eyebrow and tilts his head, eyeing your tray and then your face. "free drinks?"

"who is there, Hyuck?"

He pokes the inner cheek with his tongue and chuckles sassily, "a pretty waitress with free drinks." he glances inside the room and then back at you, "your treat?"

"well to break your bubble, I'm not your treat giver. You have paid for this and I'm just here to give it to you. So, if you please excuse me then I'm going to pour it to you or leave it on your table. Whatever you wish!" you are on the edge of losing your mind for him to keep you standing there. A fake smile plastered on your face when he moved aside to welcome you inside the room and you heard a commotion from the door beside. Ignoring it but still, you want to know it. is it about some business you are doubting?

Entering the room, without looking at anyone or to your surroundings, you walk straight towards the table when you hear a laugh from the corner, "never expected to meet you again...also here." The man named Hyuck closes the door and returns to the couch, beside a man around his age.

Hearing the same seductive voice, you place the tray on the table and turn towards the direction, when your eyes meet, his sultry smiling face is already staring at your way, when you smirk and folds your hands below your chest, "oh, Mr. Pretty Face." Feeling a lot of eyes on you, still you keep your focus on the smiling face.

"My pretty waitress." He stood up from the corner of the room and walked towards you, "so what's all these drinks for? Your invitation to have fun together."

"so, have you met her too?" wait. This voice, quickly turning your neck, you met those eyes again, "we meet again, Ruby."

Your surprise did get noticed by both of them and when they chuckle, a third voice speaks up, "is this the pretty distraction you were saying earlier?" you notice an attractive male manspreading on the single cushioned leather chair, "hello, thanks for the drinks." He gestures to the glass in a cheer motion. He is an epitome of perfection for his facial features.

"these are the drinks you all asked for. If you need something else, then do tell me. my shift is soon over." You said calmly and took a quick note of the men inside the luxury suite. Six in total and you have no names --- except the pretty face and Hyuck, if that's the actual name. they seem like they are having a meeting but you need to know more. The important business is going to happen today but why are you without any clue and solutions? "these are not my treats. Sorry to disappoint you."

"so, are you free after this shift?" the man who saved you from those shitheads asks and waits for your reply. His gaze is flickering between your lips and eyes.

The man who called you 'pretty distraction' raised a brow at you, "then the drinks?"

"this is for Room No. 0128." Hyuck raised a note from the tray, he quickly turns towards him, "isn't he there?" he takes the tray from the table and hand it over to you, the quick action makes you lose the balance of it but quickly handles the bottles properly and glare at him, "take this there quickly and tell me how many of them are there and," he pulls out his phone to show you a picture, the man you met at the door, "if this person is there then let us know about it."

So, the business is interesting.

"and why would I?"

"it's for your own good." Your savior speaks up, "how much do you need?"

"I don't work on money. A reason is what I need and that's enough for me to do everything." You smile back at them.

A fifth man who was all these times busy on his phone speaks up, "the reason is to save lots of lives. Young girls and innocent women. So, think carefully about not helping us. You will regret it later." He said coldly.

Who are they?

"who are you all?" now you are aware of the surroundings, an alert siren ringing inside your head. The news is true and this would be the best opportunity to catch the culprits but the heck these people are. "I'm not doing anything."

"fifty lakhs."

Your tongue tip touches the roof of the mouth, "you are bribing me?" shaking your head in disappointment, you chuckle softly, "you don't even know me." meeting their eyes, you curl your hair, "I might hand you over to the police or maybe if you are related to some illegal shits then fate is cruel for you."

A sudden cold laugh breaks your strong atmosphere. You turn around to face the man, he was standing by the side of the terrace door and drinking his wine, staring at you with his piercing eyes, you have noticed him earlier at the bar. He was watching you like a creep and to say more, you did feel scared of him. "y/n, don't make this hard. You are also searching for the culprits here today...like us."

What? How does he know your name? your eyes go wide and gulping down the fear, you feel yourself trapped in a confined place. This man knows you and maybe others as well. Slowly, looking around, your eyes meet the others, noticing their surprise and smirking expression. They know you? You are quiet and this gave the man who uttered your name the confidence to walk over to you. Just two feet away from you, he bends down and meets your wide eyes, "don't deny the fact of being undercover here. Helping us will only benefit you and we can catch them easily. We can approach them through you."

"who are you?" you ask quietly. This is not you. Speak up. You can't disclose your identity and submit yourself to him, to them like this. They can be a possible threat to you and you should let Wooyoung know about this, when you step back, he places his glass on your tray, and you ask him again, "why should I trust you?"

"I can't hurt you, y/n. I won't do anything. I promise." He stands straight, "your safety is in my hands. Jeno would never cause you any harm, not even a single scratch. Trust me."

Jeno...this name sounds foreign yet familiar to you. Once it was so endearing to you. You had everything in your mind related to this name. you clutched the tray tightly. He can't be here. this man is from a mafia gang and you are a government official undercover. How can you both be together? You have never seen his face but the only member-name from the gang was his that you got in that mission, which you failed miserably. His leader is way smarter than you and that irritates you so much. Aren't they with the trafficking ring, then why are they helping you? Wanting your help? Whatever.

You have seen his eyes that night, the smirk behind that mask and the leader beside him had that proud look under the cap shadowing his face.

"we are not monsters, y/n." the attractive man who has a leader aura stands up from the sofa, trudging towards you slowly, "we once used to work for the government like you but you know, there's nothing beneficiary or worthy to risk your life. In the end, you are going to get the blame for everything." He stands close to you, "like you got the blame for failing the last mission. Even when you did your best. Even when they knew you could have died in our hands to catch us but they only cared for the outcome, not your life. You are just like us, the past us. And, we can't see you getting down this path."

Care? They are showing you care. Shrugging the feeling, you take deep breaths, nodding suddenly. The two men near you watching you keenly when a voice catches your attention, the one who was busy on phone earlier, falling lights when he comes near shows a younger face with round eyes, prominent cheekbones, chuckling at you, "don't worry. We are not going to make you a part of the mafia. You should be pure and innocent like you are."

"I am not innocent. I have seen people die in front of me. I have seen a lot more than I should." You mumble quietly. "but what will I get after I help you?"

"what do you want? Money?" Hyuck asks you.

You shake your head but before you could speak more, the pretty face speaks up, "your safety. We will ensure your safety forever. You are under our protection."

"I don't need to be protected. It's just I don't want those innocent people to lose their families. I want to save them and so help me with that." You said and turned on your heels towards the table and placed the tray on that, you fished out your phone, dialed the top number and waited for the voice to be on speaker.

"hey, did you-"

"Woo, you are on the speaker." Casting a glance towards the six men around the room, you speak into the call, "I got some...people here, who are going to help us in this and I hope getting this done by tonight. Bring all the forces here. We are going to catch them."

His worried voice echoes in the silent room, "are you okay, y/n? who are these people? Is it okay to trust them? Are you sure?"

Licking your lips, you sigh, "yes. Trust me. come here fast."

"okay. Be safe."

Cutting the call, you stare at them, the man who was a phone addict comes in front, "are you ready?"

"always."

He hands you an earpiece, it's designed in a way which looks like an earring in an unique style, your curious eyes staring at it when he takes it and places it over your ear, tugging your hairs properly, "this is connected to our phones. When you are speaking into it, we can hear all of your conversation. It can even record your whispers so whatever we will be asking, you have to tell us quickly. Can you do this?"

You nod, placing your fingers over it, "yes." You heard your voice from one of the devices, it belongs to your savior. He smiles and nods.

The man in front of you holds your shoulder, meeting his sharp gaze, you see his eye-smile, "you will be safe. Trust me."

"and what will you say when you are in danger?" The man with round eyes and younger features asks you when you glance at him and at Jeno then towards your savior. You mutter softly, "Ruby."

Taking the tray in your hold and turning towards the door, Hyuck is already waiting for you with the door open for you to exit, "let's start, little agent." He eyes Jeno's half-filled glass on your tray and smirks, "keep this glass. You know when to use this."

Little agent. Why is your heart fluttering? This is not you, y/n and you are still trusting a mafia gang. A ruthless mafia gang who is claiming themselves as the people who want to help innocent ones from trafficking. You are going to be under their protection and they swore your safety.

.

.

.

You whisper, "hey..." standing in front of the door and waiting for them to open. You hear two voices, confirming they can hear you properly and they have access to the C.C.T.V. in front. You glance at the two cameras facing towards the area where you are standing.

A young man swings open the door, a gush of smoke hits your senses when he speaks up, "oh, dear lady. Come inside." Taking steps inside the door, your heart thumping against your chest, "we ordered the drinks a while ago. It took so much time for you to bring it. busy?"

You hear a scoff from your earpiece. You force a smile while placing the tray on a counter at the side of the room, preparing their drinks, "there was an urgent customer call. Sorry for the late service."

Another voice speaks up and you know him, Mr. Kim Yeonghun. The main suspect of this ring and the worst man to ever exist, "oh no worries, lady. You can make it up to us in some ways." You saw him entering the club, he was with a young girl. Where is she? Also, Hyuck showed you his picture.

Feeling a hand on your hip, your breath hitches, the touch is inappropriate and you are fighting the urge to roll out his hands but you are out-numbered and to catch them, you need to keep calm. Turning around, you scan the room, four people in total and might be their securities and bodyguards around the club. You whispered, "four. He is here."

"okay! Now make him confess. Do something for that and three of us are going to spread around the venue to search for the possible places to find the rooms where they kept the captives." This voice is of the attractive man. Why didn't you get their names already? You can only call Jeno or Hyuck if you need help but what if he is not available. Anyways.

"you should not touch someone without her consent." You speak politely even when you want to glare at these old hags. "I can report you all to others."

The four of them laugh loudly, you felt a little humiliated at the scene but you hear a soft seductive voice in your ear, "be calm, y/n. we will get them afterwards." You hum and face the old men. The man with whom you made eye contact earlier at the door with the suitcase, smirks at you.

"you are funny, little lady." He stands up, stepping closer to you, "do you think you have powers over us? You can't even get out of this room alive to say anything to anyone. Even if you manage to escape, no one is going to believe you and no one will be there to help you to get us caught."

Mr. Kim's best friend Mr. Park, who touched you a moment ago speaks up, "you know we can do anything with you here. No one would ever get a hint of it." his eyes scan your whole form, "and judging the way perfect you are. We are going to get a good amount out of you." He chuckles in the end.

Your fists tighten by your side, gritting your teeth, you glare at him, "what are you going to do?"

He tilts his head, "to have fun with you and then sell you."

"no. you can't do this." Gulping down the fear, you continued, "you won't do this. Government is already in the search of the trafficking leaders for the last two years and they will get to know about this soon. You all are going down."

The one who opened the door for you speaks up, "so? You are going to inform them about us? Think you can do this? Aw...you are in our territory with no escape, young lady."

Someone holds your arms and brings them to your back, blocking your way to fight, the man in front grabs your chin, glaring at you, "we will let you know who we are and then your fate is going to be the same as those useless money worthy whores." The stinging pain in your arm and chin making you hiss. Mentally counting to three, you kick the man in front of you with your knee and with a bump with your head, you hurt the man holding you to escape his grip. When you see Mr. Kim approaching you, you take Jeno's glass and throw it towards his face, the liquid is all over him and the glass hit his nose. You whisper, "Ruby." Hearing no reply from the other side, your heart clenches at the thought that they might be in danger or.... They lied to you.

"you bitch." Your trance breaks when Mr. Kim trudges towards you, you need to get towards the door and Wooyoung should be here by now with his team. Someone holds your arm, yanking you towards him, "you think you can escape? Never." They are strong and can fight well, of course they can, they are all well trained even when they are ten years older than you. Old. But strong.  You twist his hand, kicking him in the balls and making him kneel down when you push the other man who is trying to grab your free hand, you glance towards the door.

You hear the banging on the door but before you could react, you feel a stinging pain, piercing the skin of the neck. Turning your head abruptly, you meet a smirking face but can't figure out the person, eyes blurring and feeling dizzy. Still, you know you are stronger than this. Elbowing the person and kicking him in the stomach, you fought for yourselves. The man beside you tries to grab you when you hit his head and pushes him against the wall, "your time is over, Mister."

You blink hardly because the dizziness is becoming stronger and your whole system is getting weak with every passing second. Even when you raise your hand, you can't hit the man in front, two people grab your arms and pull you back, dragging you away and suddenly, your back hits the soft material. You are pinned on top of the bed, fighting the pain in the neck. You try to make your vision clear when you notice Mr. Kim hovering on top of you, smirking. Tearing the net material of your dress, you then realize what is going to happen. Working your legs to kick him but a fourth person holds your ankle, preventing you from fighting anymore. You shout and wiggle under their grips.

"huh! Picking a fight with us? All alone. Such a foul move." He laughs from top of you, his face near yours, "a little girl going against us. What a shame! You have the same fate as them."

Tears falling from your eyes but before he could come any closer, you hear a faint thud sound. Vision becoming dark and your whole body giving up. The weight over your body pulls off, feeling relieved but even if you want to watch the scene and understand the situation, you can't.

"y/n!" you hear your name being called. Touch on your face, your hands are not held tightly but someone caressing it softly. There's a lot of voices around you but you can't make it out properly. You are drifting off to unconsciousness. A palm over your cheek, your eyes meeting a hazy outline of a face. "Can you hear me?" someone holding you close to their body and caressing your back, your head resting against the chest.

"Ruby..." you whisper.

Someone beside you said, "yes yes. You are safe. You did it." that's the last thing you heard before your senses gave up to darkness.

.

.

.

"Wooyoung...you should go back." Taeyong's voice bloomed inside the silent room. In a dimly lit, spacious apartment, you are slowly breathing and lying unconscious on a plush, oversized couch. The air is filled with a calming scent, like lavender, and the low hum of gentle conversation.

The young boy tears his eyes away from your figure towards the leader of the gang, who is standing beside the chair, leaning against it and often glancing at you.

"but she?"

Jeno, who is sitting near your head, checks your temperature, placing his fingers on your forehead, "we promised her to make sure of her safety."

"and why are you helping her?" Wooyoung stares at them after asking the question. He notices how the males exchange looks among them when the leader again speaks up.

Sighing, he brushes back his hairs, "we care for her."

"why?"

"because she is just like us. Walking the same path." This time it's Mark who said, placing the tray with medicine and water on the table, beside the couch. He glances at your figure.

Wooyoung nods slowly, standing up and caressing your head, the others eyes following his affection towards you. He really cares for you and they know how close you both are --- they know a lot about you. Well, some of them. But others are always eager to know about the infamous undercover agent. And, seeing you close up at the club for the first time is like a miracle...a fantasy comes true to them.

"take care of her. I hope I can trust you all." Wooyoung eyes them, Mark steps forward but the younger one gestures at him with a raised hand, "don't worry. I'm not going to report you all. Well, even if I do then also, you all are going to escape the government smoothly so there's no point."

He bid them goodbye and you are under the roof with six unknown familiar males whose eyes are staring at your sleeping figure.

"we should have killed him." Haechan glares at Taeyong when the latter nods and just blankly observes the younger's anger. "handing him over to them is a useless move."

"it will give her the credit that she made the mission possible to solve. Remember it." Jaehyun reminds him of the actual motive for leaving those shitheads alive, even when he himself wanted to kill them for touching you, for even looking at you inappropriately.

"This sedative is a stronger one. Even if she regains consciousness, it's difficult for her to react normally." Mark said and shakes his head, thinking of possibilities after you wake up.

Jaemin slumps down on the chair, "she should wake up by now, the antidote must work by this time."

As the night slowly slips into the early hours of morning, you find yourself stirring from a deep, disorienting sleep. The last thing you remember is the flashing lights of the club and the music pounding in your ears. Then, facing some men and fighting with them and the blur images of them pinning you down. Now, everything is quiet, almost eerily so, except for the soft murmur of voices and the occasional clinking of glassware.

Your eyelids feel heavy as you try to open them, and a dull ache throbs in your head. Blinking a few times, your vision starts to clear, and you notice you're lying on an enormous, incredibly soft bed in what seems to be a spacious and tastefully decorated-bedroom. The lighting is low, casting a warm, golden glow across the room, which feels strangely comforting.

Your head feels heavy, and your vision is slightly blurred, but you can make out the silhouettes of six figures moving around you, each one focused on making sure you're okay.

The closest to you is a man with dark hair and a calm, composed expression. He's seated beside you on the bed, gently pressing a cool, damp cloth to your forehead. His touch is careful, almost tender, and his eyes meet yours as he notices you're waking up.

The others also come closer.

"Hey," he says softly, a gentle smile forming on his lips. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" he puts away the cloth and holds you to help to get up. your saviour.

His voice is low and soothing, and it takes you a moment to process the question. Your mouth feels dry, and you struggle to find the words, but you manage to nod slightly. The boy's smile deepens, and he continues to stroke your hair and massage the scalp, clearly relieved that you're conscious.

"you..."

He leans forward, breathing near your neck, he whispers into your ear, "it's Jaehyun. Call me that."

You blink at him, "where am I?"

On the floor next to the bed, another boy, with softer features and an almost angelic appearance, is sitting. That attractive guy. He holds your hand. His grip is light, yet reassuring, like he's trying to convey that everything is okay without overwhelming you. He looks up at you with concern, his eyes searching your face for any signs of distress.

"You're safe now," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. "We're here for you."

You keep staring at him and he gets your curious question.

"Taeyong, the leader of the gang."

Across the room, a boy with sharp features and a serious expression is standing by a window, speaking quietly into his phone. His tone is firm but filled with care, and as you listen, you realize he's talking to Wooyoung, who must be worried sick.

"She's with us now, and we're taking good care of her," the  boy says, glancing in your direction to make sure you're okay. "You don't need to worry. Go home and rest. We'll keep her safe."

After a brief pause, during which he listens to the other end of the call, he nods, his expression softening slightly. "I promise, we've got everything under control. We'll call you if anything changes, but for now, just trust us."

He ends the call with a quiet sigh, slipping the phone into his pocket as he walks back over to where you're lying. He kneels down beside you, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of concern and determination. "Wooyoung was here. He went back to the team base."

"the men..."

Jeno smiles, "they are caught. You did well, little agent."

"you all didn't respond to me."

"sorry...but it was all your lover boy's fault. His teammates prevented us from contacting you further."

"Hyuck, shut up." the man sits near your feet, "I am Mark. Sorry about him. actually, we heard your call but your teammates were not trusting us and accusing us of everything. I'm sorry we used you to confront them but thanks a lot, finally we are able to catch them."

Hyuck presses his lips into a thin line, "sorry. We were late even when we promised you."

"No. it's okay." You mutter softly. "I thought you all left me in my misery."

"never, y/n. we won't do this ever." The pretty face smiles at you, "this pretty face has a name and that's Jaemin." you smile at him.

It's too much. And, moreover you are with a mafia gang and you don't know how and why you are here. Even Wooyoung left you here with them. He trusts them like you trusted them and stepped into the danger.

Meanwhile, Taeyong and Jaemin are busy in the open kitchen area. One of them is boiling water, his movements quick and efficient as he prepares a pot of herbal tea. The other is rummaging through the cabinets, looking for something light and easy for you to eat once you're feeling up to it. They exchange a few words in hushed tones, their focus entirely on making sure you're comfortable.

"take this medicine, it should help you relax", Mark says as he pours the water into a glass. "And we should get some crackers ready for later." You take it and gulp it down. "before you ask more, take it slow."

Hyuck nods in agreement, "well you can me Haechan even Hyuck is also fine with me.", pulling out a small plate and arranging a few simple snacks on it. Their actions are precise, almost instinctual, as if taking care of someone in need comes naturally to them. Jeno comes near with a pair of trousers and t-shirt, "get change into this. You must be uncomfortable with that."

By the door, the last two boys are engaged in a quiet conversation, their voices low but their expressions serious. They're discussing how to ensure the apartment is secure, checking the locks and making sure no one will disturb the peace they've created in this safe haven.

After changing in the washroom, you get to know about them more. This apartment is not their permanent residence. This is one of their spare places and this is the place they run to for your emergency and taking you to their mansion would overwhelm you so keeping you somewhere comfortable and cozy is better.

"We should keep an eye on things, just in case," Taeyong says, glancing back at you with a protective gaze. "We don't want anyone showing up uninvited."

Jaehyun nods in agreement, his expression determined. "Agreed. We'll take turns keeping watch. She needs to rest without any more interruptions."

As you start to feel more alert, Jeno notices the change in your breathing and the slight movement of your fingers. He leans in a bit closer, his voice gentle as he asks, "Do you need anything? Water? Tea?"

Jaemin holding your hand gives it a light squeeze, his eyes never leaving your face. "It's okay if you don't feel like talking yet," he says softly. "Just know we're here, and we won't leave your side."

Their kindness is overwhelming, and despite the lingering fear and confusion, a sense of safety begins to wash over you. You're surrounded by warmth, not just from the blankets draped over you or the soft lighting in the room, but from the genuine care these six men are showing you.

As the moments pass, you start to relax, the tension in your muscles easing as you let yourself be cared for. The night may have taken a terrifying turn, but now, in this room filled with quiet voices and gentle touches, you know that you're in good hands. These men, with their unwavering concern and protective presence, have made sure of that.

It's been a week, the incident at the club happened. Well, atleast the case is solved. Yeah, you should have been more careful because there were four of them and yet you chose to fight with them all alone. Such overconfidence!

You close your laptop, lying on your stomach on the couch and decide to search for a particular number.

"Hello!"

"Y/n, how are you? Have you eaten? Decided the place?" As usual he is bombarding you with questions. You chuckle into the call before humming.

"Yeah, I had my lunch a while ago and I'm completely fine. Sometimes I do feel weak but it's okay I'm taking the medicines."

"So? Going where?"

You sigh, "I don't know."

There's a moment of silence before his voice reaches your ear again, "have you spoken to them?"

Actually, you didn't. After coming back to your apartment, you have just texted a simple message — I'm okay. That's it and nothing more. But you notice your phone has their contact numbers saved in it and there's few messages but you never read them.

"No."

"They care for you a lot, y/n. I don't know why but......I have seen the anger and frustration in their eyes when you were locked in the room and they were impatient to get in there." He pauses to take a breath, "I think you should talk with them."

Care for you. Did you hear correctly? There must be a reason behind this. Everyone does something for a reason.

"Do you think I should trust them?" You ask it quickly, as if you really want to know the answer to this. You do.

"Yes." He says quietly and adds, "once we were all in the same department. I know them, never worked together but heard the praises back then so I know there must be a reason they chose this illegal path."

"They don't trust the government and its way of working. Their hatred is stronger than you can imagine." You remember the distaste Jaemin and Jeno had when telling you the reason behind them helping you, even Haechan was scoffing at every mention of their past association with the government.

"Can be. Anyways, you should trust them and I'm here if you need anything. Also, Joong and Hwa said you are free now because we don't have any mission where we require you but if you are okay with the front-field missions-"

"No. I'm not going to be there. You know I don't want to mess up." You glare at the leather in front.

He sighs, "okay. You didn't do any harm. It was all of us who were at fault, but it's you who got the blame."

"Don't remind me."

"Sorry. Anyways, enjoy the free days before the department dumping us does another shit job."

You mutter a low, "whatever."

.

.

.

"Well, we meet again."

Looking up at the voice, you see the same smiling face from that night, "Jaemin."

Inviting himself to sit beside you on the bench, he stares at you, "waiting for someone? Lover?"

You roll your eyes, "can't I be here for myself? It's comfortable here."

"Of course. This place is more comfortable because you are here." And again. "You should have called me, I could have entertained you as a friend."

Staring at your book in your hold, you reply, "Wooyoung is my only friend."

"I thought he was your boyfriend."

You scoff at the thought, " he would better date San rather than me. His best friend Yeosang literally claims me as the worst girlfriend ever."

"He is mentally unstable. Who would call you the worst-"

"Here, take the ice-cream before it melts down."  You follow the ice-cream, the hand and that belongs to Haechan. When your eyes meet, he gestures with his chin to take it. Uncontrollably, your hand raises up, grabbing the cone and gently saying thanks. "Oh no need to be so polite and all. I like your strong aura."

Honestly, he was impressed with your confidence back in the club.

You love ice-cream and accepting the little token of......love...no wait – care, is fine.

He sits on your other side, taking the book from you and reading a few lines, ignoring your protest against snatching your book without permission.

"You read these kinds of books in broad afternoon?" His smirking face looks at you when you glare at him and try to take away the book but he holds it far, gesturing you towards the ice-cream, "eat that. I'm not taking your book with me."

Jaemin is laughing lightly on your other side, when you feel a cold liquid drop on the skin of the palm, you lick the cream, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your lips.

It's tasty. The best one. You wanted to say it but you didn't want to show them your -- this side. They have already seen your weak side because of the sedative.

"You don't have to care what I read or not." Licking your lips, you continue, "it's my personal choice."

Jaemin tugs your hair behind your hairs and pulls them all together in the back, holding them in a ponytail before taking your crunchie from your side and tying it properly, "your hairs will get sticky if cream gets on them. Also, if you want to share your stories with someone. Consider us always available."

He is so nice.

"Why would I?"

"Sharing is a thing, darling." Haechan says it softly near your ear, his breathing raising goosebumps on your neck. The affectionate and the endearment is evidently having an effect on you.

"I don't like sharing things with strangers."

"Well, getting to know us is a first step, bunny. Also, you accepted an ice-cream from a stranger." Jaemin says and chuckles, "oh don't get me wrong. You can have it. I'm just teasing you. But we can be friends, you know."

Friends with them...

"I'll think about it."

"6 or 7?" Haechan asks you suddenly. You furrow your brows in confusion and stare at him. He rolls his eyes and repeats himself, "choose a perfect timing. Evening."

"7...."

"Get ready and one of us will pick you up at exactly 7, tomorrow."

"Why?"

"It's my birthday." Jaemin cheers. Haechan rolling his eyes on your other side, closing the book and placing it beside you. "Dress pretty."

"how are you sure I'm going?"

"Well, you haven't deny yet." Haechan sassily says and stands up. Your eyes following them, tongue and mouth busy tasting the delicious cream. "Anyways, hope to see you tomorrow."

Jaemin also smiled and stood up beside him. You stare up at them when they wait for your reply. But you don't want to utter a word. You don't know what to say...you are in confusion. A part of you is telling you to stay away from them and the other part is trusting them blindly and following their every move. You just nod slightly but clearly they are eager to hear something from you. Jaemin gives you a tight smile and Haechan bites his lower lip, head tilted to the side.

"bye", he scans your figure, smirking at you, "you look pretty in pastel colors."

Jaemin hits his head and chuckles, turning his gaze back to you, "even though, it's my birthday but you should be the prettiest."

You just blink in return.

As soon as they turn around, you throw away the tissue after wiping your hands and mouth after finishing the ice-cream.

"wait!"

Their steps halt, turning around, there you stood close to them, extending your hand, "give me a phone." Jaemin blinks in confusion but Haechan is quick to give in to your demand.

They watch you type something in the device and hand back him the phone, "I'm trusting you with my location. Don't be late. I have little patience sometimes." Without speaking anything more, you turn around, collecting your things from the bench and putting them inside your side bag and step away, muttering a light, "bye." Walking farther from them. Their eyes follow your form, distancing from them.

"why didn't you say Wooyoung already told you her address?" Jaemin asks the boy beside him, the other one chuckles, "well, you could have too. But it's better she showed a sign of trusting us."

"well, let's go."

.

.

.

Contemplating your decision – whether to go or not even when you are standing in front of the mirror in a pastel pink colour knee length dress. Your phone lit up when a message pops, announcing the arrival of him.

Taeyong came to pick you up. the leader of the uprising mafia gang is picking up a government undercover spy for a birthday party. Such an ironic moment! Whatever. Picking up your vanity bag, your heels clicking on the marbles when you reach the front door of your apartment. There he stood in all black leather, leaning against his car. He looks exquisite.

Approaching him, he raises his head, smiling at you, "what a beautiful sight to look at, my lady!" opening the door for you to enter, you quickly get in. skipping towards the other side of the car, he gets into the driver seat and brushes his hair in the rear-view mirror, "how do you manage to look so cute being a spy?"

"stop with your flirting." You roll your eyes and stare at his side-profile. His pointy nose, big eyes, sharp jawline and thick brows with the black hairs falling over his forehead. A perfect leader aura. Honestly, you didn't have any idea that this gang would be so handsome and attractive. Heck, you didn't even know you would be riding a car with the leader to a birthday party. Why did you agree?

"I can't stop myself from falling for you, pretty lady or should I say pretty distraction?" all of them have one thing in common. The smooth talking with sultry in their tones.

You need a change in your life.

"Mr. leader, focus on the road ahead. Need to appear in one piece at the party." You smirk at him and he laughs, speeding the car.

"whatever you say, pretty."

Trusting them isn't going to be bad.

.

.

.

Meanwhile five men with their drinks in hold, spread across the big living room of the mansion. Conversing on the same topic. You.

"You sure, she is coming?" Mark places the glass on the glass counter and folds his hand. Jaemin nods enthusiastically, "I am."

Jeno scoffs, "You seem too excited for her being here rather than celebrating your birthday."

"well of course, she is the main reason. This shitty birthday comes every year. And, you all bring those strawberry cakes. I swear if you do the same this time." He glares at Haechan, who raises his hands in defense.

"hey, don't look at me like that. I didn't do it alone even though the plan is mine." He smirks and raises a brow at him, completely enjoying riling up the birthday boy like this.

"when will they arrive?" Jeno asks the man beside him, Jaehyun sips his drink before replying, "Taeyong is at the signal. Will be here within ten minutes."

"why so eager to see her?" Haechan asks cockily.

Mark rolls his eyes at the boy, "as if you are not. Shut up for a moment, seriously."

It took thirty minutes to arrive at their mansion, not going to lie, you have been to such places for only missions but never as a casual individual. Well, your instincts work as your profession, you observe the surroundings, how a butler approaches the car when he parks sideways. You scan the new male and every lit-up place where the golden rays of light illuminate the mansion beautifully.

"welcome to the venue, pretty."

He gestures for you to step forward when the butler opens the door for both of you.

"can you call me by my name? it's y/n." you hiss at him.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, "well, now I got your name. you haven't introduced yourself to me then how can I even know your name."

Stepping into the hallway leading to the living room, you glance at him, "you all already know me. so, stop pretending."

A sudden hug makes you look forward to when you were busy looking at the man walking beside you.

"Finally, you are here." It's Jaemin, who is smiling widely at your form in his white hoodie. A little smile appears on your face for the affection. You have never felt so loved by anyone. Well, your teammates are also nice with you but they are more in professional terms with you, except Wooyoung. You take out a small box from your bag and extend your hand towards him, "Happy Birthday, Jaemin."

"woah, there was no need for this. You are the best gift to me here today." His flirty ass comment got some scoffs and roll of eyes from others except the one who comes closer to both of you.

"what's in the box?" Haechan tries to take it from Jaemin who glares back, "that's for me."

"always a nosy one." Your sudden comment got other's attention and the silence is screaming inside your mind and at you. Why did you say it out loud? What are they thinking about you? Oh gosh. "I'm sorry."

They burst into loud laughter when Haechan glares at them but quickly snickers looking at your surprised expression. Jaemin brings you to the center of the room, holding your hand and guiding you to the table. the others also gather closer to you. The last time you have seen all of them together was when you bid goodbye the next day after that night.

It's been over a month that you are seeing them again. Never thought to be in front of them again but here you are, exchanging small greets and smiles and hearing their concerning voices for you.

After cutting the cake, well you get to know this time it's chocolate cake because you love this flavor otherwise, they would have bought a strawberry one, just to tease him. he didn't give any bites to others, asking them to take it on their own. You look around the place and see them all in either all leathers or all denims. They look more handsome than the last day and not to deny, your eyes can't leave their attractive forms. You loved to click photos with them even when you were surprised they have social media accounts being mafia members.

"say ah!" Jaemin holds a piece of cake in front of your face, urging you to open your mouth. You shake your head and try to take it from him when he smiles, "it's my day so let me do this. It's my wish to feed you this cake. Please."

Hesitating to give in to his request, you glance at others and they are already looking towards you, "Jaemin..."

"please."

You take the bite quickly, without delay and make it more embarrassing. He steps back towards the couch and you stand near the table, awkwardly thinking what you are actually doing here. With some strangers you met at the club and then helped each other to solve the trafficking situation and then saved you from the incident and now inviting you to the birthday party.

"can I also give you a bite of this cake?" you look towards the man standing beside you. Mark smiles at you dearly, sweetly like the birthday boy. You furrow your brows in confusion when he chuckles and replies to your curiosity, "last week. It was my birthday but for important work, we couldn't celebrate it. so, as you, our special guest is here. Let me celebrate mine too."

His young facial features with prominent cheekbones and round eyes with the soft tone with such a loving tone is luring you with a smile to appear on your face. Unknowingly, you nod and part your lips, having the small bite of the piece of cake he is holding.

"belated happy birthday, Mark."

He laughs, "Thank you."

"thanks for this special gift, y/n." Jaemin's voice makes you both look towards him. he is holding the watch you bought in the morning. After deciding on a whole lot of things, you end up opting for a wrist watch. Hoping, that would be the most convenient gift.

You smile, "I couldn't come up with a better thing. That's the only option I could think of."

"hey! It's my favorite watch from now on." He reassures your anxious self.

You look towards Mark, "I'll buy you something later."

He blinks at you, making an eye-contact when he suddenly bends forward, his lips near your neck, chuckling into the ear, "well, be my friend. That's the best gift for me."

Your breath hitches but you cough a little, clearing your throat and looking around.

.

.

.

"so how come you all know my name?" glancing at Taeyong when you notice his smirk and looking away towards Jeno beside you, "like you even followed me there at the club. So, any mission? To get me."

"oh, it's not like that." Jeno chuckles, "we were sure that the government must have sent an undercover spy but didn't expect it to be you. We were lucky for the second time to encounter you on a mission."

"you all seem too excited to have me there." You sip your drink, eyeing him and then the man beside him, Jaehyun, "thanks for standing up for me that night."

"no worries. Stay away from those shitheads." Jaehyun shows his dimple smile in the end.

You shake your head and sigh, "it's just a part of my job. I have to work normal in my every undercover profession. Well, about knowing me..." you trail off in the end when Jeno speaks up this time.

"your last mission failed because of us. Right?" he stares at you.

You gulp, nodding slightly, remembering the shouts and blame you received after returning from the place to the office. Hongjoong was totally displeased with you and Seonghwa's betrayed eyes are still burning on your skin.

"if we didn't divert your plan then you wouldn't be sitting here with us today." Mark leans back into the couch.

You smirk, "why? You all would've got caught?"

"no. you could've died."

Your smirk falters. A shocked and lost expression replaces your bright features. Why? The possibility of your death and they helped you to escape the danger is a new aspect of the mission you discovered.

Jaehyun notices the horror on your face, "hey..." he kneels down in front of you, holding your hands and tapping them softly with a faint smile on his lips, "don't worry. You are a smart agent. And we will always protect you from the dangers. We got your back."

You stare at his face, their gestures are so soft, comfortable and welcoming. And, the more you are interacting with them, the more you are leaning towards them. They give you a feeling of...care in the form of protection.

"why are you helping me?"

"y/n..." Jaemin kneels beside Jaehyun, smiling at you, "because we want to. You are a special person to us."

"huh?"

"remember? the seniors under whom you worked for a project and you even made their brothers your friends. it was such a fun night."

Wait. It's them? And, it was such a short interaction. You were stuck late at the library, finishing up a group project when one of your teammates feel sick and the other one skipped and went on a trip. And to get the point, you were alone doing the work. When, four batchmates approaches you for help. Now you realize --- it was Mark, Jeno, Jaemin and Haechan. Their elder brothers --- Taeyong and Jaehyun were your seniors and that night, it was six of them working hard with you to finish a one month project in one night. After that, you met them at the playground the next week to thank them. That's it. no more interaction, just some passing by them and attending same classes. But they still remember you.

"you all remember me?", licking your lips, you continue, "I thought you didn't care. I mean, it's okay. We never interacted much to still remember me after years."

Taeyong nods his head slowly, "well, we still remember the little crush you had back then on Jeno. We admire your intelligence." Snickering, he flicks your nose, "it was so cute though."

"and who knew that the meritorious, perfect, polite and soft natured girl would be an undercover agent in future. Well, you were a computer science student and wanted to be a developer then how come you joined the Intelligence Team of the government? You didn't attend any classes with us regarding that." Haechan asks in a curious way.

You nod, heaving a sigh, allowing your mind to skip over all the memories, "it's a long story. Just in short, the situation made me change the decision. I was in need of money and the orphanage where I grew up is funded by Yunho's parents so he offered me this position for being an intelligent student so that's how I joined as a hacker in the team but later I excel the skill of being an agent."

"wow. You are smarter than I can imagine." Mark compliments.