Dealer: J Got This New Strain Its Called, Thanergy Link To Your Daughters Longsword Gonna Be Blitzed

Dealer: j got this new strain 💯 it’s called, “thanergy link to your daughters longsword” 😳🔥 gonna be blitzed off your titz

Me: whatever man I don’t feel shit

5 minutes later: dude I swear I saw some bitch in a hazmat suit at the bottom of that glass coffin

My girl Harrow, pacing: the eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me

69 shitpost I forgot to post here

Imagine a Locked Tomb where Harrowhark and Gideon go to a therapist who makes them do the whole Pretend To Be The Other Person thing from the TV. So Gideon is like, "Wah wah, I'm Harrowhark the Morbid, I hate exercise, I hate eating a balanced diet, food is for the weak. Sleep is a waste of time. I don't need to talk to anyone about anything because I'm so smart. Gideon shut up, Gideon stay in your room, Gideon polish my boots. I'm going to go find the darkest corner in the universe and die of malnutrition alone."

We pan over to Harrowhark and she's making the "jack-off" motion while rolling her eyes, and the therapist is like "Miss Nonagesimus, please this is a respectful space!" And Harrow just goes, "I'm role-playing Griddle."

What if I was a Catholic Nun who was in love with Satan and you were Jesus and we made out sloppy style?

And we were both Girls?

bro's a menace I wanna smash him with a comically large hammer /pos

I cant handle this

Why must I go on