Possibly My Longest Jerk Off

Possibly my longest jerk off

The first thing I would like to tell you is what happened today, I am very worried about my constant lust, today I could not sleep all night because of a strong boner, I ended up falling asleep at 8:00 am and woke up at 9:00 am again because of a strong boner, I went to the bathroom and thought that this would help... I jerked off from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm. without a break, I came only 2 times, I even did a prostate massage to speed up the process, it didn’t help, I just jerked off and that’s it... I find this situation disgusting, but on the other hand, I couldn’t do anything, the temptation to please myself is stronger than common sense, due to my upbringing I can’t accept that I’m a pervert, but at the same time I never deny myself pleasure, moreover, I experiment with my anus, it’s so terrible... but at the same time, I can’t stop, it’s so nice, I consider it heavenly pleasure when I do all this, but as soon as I get distracted from all this and look at it from the outside, I feel unworthy of life, as if when I get excited, it’s not me at all, but another person. I just can't believe that I'm capable of this, I can't understand how I got to this point, I crave dominance at the same time, but at the same time I'm actually shy and timid, but not in the sense that I'm afraid of people, but in the sense that I'm afraid of not being liked, not pleasing, etc.

I'm a good boy, I don't drink, I don't smoke, but I do it... Maybe it's my cigarettes and alcohol, maybe it's the only thing that can relax me, maybe, but I feel like I've taken a wrong turn at the moment... Well, let's wait and see :_)

The meme reads:

Girls after masturbation "I came so good"

Guys after masturbation "It's decided! I'm going to a monastery"

Hello world, my name is Arthur.

It's probably strange to write this to everyone for a review, but for some reason it seemed to me that this was a good idea, I decided to make a revelation, I apologize immediately if something is unclear, it's all translated from Russian into English, although I do not know who will be interested in it at all, this post is more like It's a psychological deception to calm down, I just have no one to tell all this to, although there is someone, but I'm afraid to tell it all, and it seems to me that it's not worth it... I will express my thoughts, experiences, problems, worries and so on, my idea is that logically I will worry less, because someone can see everything that worries me, so it's not such a secret, but it's on paper, but how it really is I do not know what will happen.

The photo says: "I just want to be happy"

I just want to say that maybe I seem like a hypocrite by nature, because I pour all my shit on the Internet in the hope that someone will feel sorry for me and help, I won't deny, I thought about it, but I realized that I just can't keep it to myself and I can't tell anyone...