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me when I reach the angst part of the angsty fic that I specifically chose for the angst

From Within - JJK [Masterpost/Announcement]

Pairing: Widowed!Jungkook X Fem!Reader

Theme: Angst, pining, eventual fluff, eventual smut, arrange marriage au, bffs to strangers to lovers au. Drabble series.

Summary: When you fell in love with Jungkook, you wished for your life to turn out as one of those clichéd fairytales, where two best friends fall for each other and live happily ever after. But were you lucky enough? Probably not because you had to watch the man taking vows, kissing the love of his life and promising forever right before your eyes. Unfortunately enough, now you are having to witness him breaking down bit by bit standing at his wife's funeral.

Warnings: angst, minor character death, pining, angst, unrequited love, eventual smut. NSFW!!

Patreon Membership Exclusive Drabble Series.

A/N: I will be updating once a week. The length of each chapter will be 1k to 1.5K since it's a drabble series.

Chapter Index:-

Part one: First and second heartbreak [Posted]

Part two: The bad news

Part three: An unexpected proposal

Part four: ?

Part five: ?

Part six: ?

Part seven: ?

Preview

Dear Jungkook, Honestly, I don’t know what to write or even how to write to you.  I don’t know how I will present this card to you, or how you will even take it. Or what will you think after reading it.  But what I know is that I love you. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I have loved you everytime you annoyed me, teased me, protected me, held my hands, patted my head, hugged me… I have loved you from the deepest corner of my heart. And I think it’s the right time to let you know this one secret that I hid from you.  Hope you aren’t angry.  But most importantly, I hope you don’t feel pressured to say yes just because I am your bestie. I know you probably don’t feel the same and it’s okay.  But if there is even the tiniest consideration in your heart for me, not as a friend but as a partner, then please come to the park near our elementary school.  I will be waiting for an hour from the time you receive this letter.  – Xoxo Y/N. 

It was graduation day when you decided to deliver the card to your best friend. However, after the ceremony Jungkook basically vanished. 

You looked for him everywhere you could, only to find him in the annex building. 

His face was flushed, as if he was embarrassed. He was looking in every possible direction, as if to avoid the person standing right in front of him. 

Before him stood Jung Mido, a well-known figure in your university since she was the student body president. 

“Mido-ya I- uh I really like you, will you-” he got cut mid-confession as Mido rose on her feet and placed a kiss on his lips. 

Jungkook looked starstruck and so in love.

Series-Masterlist

 ၴႅၴPairing; Royal Au! Sukuna x Fem Reader,

 ၴႅၴSummary, Y/N is a kind and compassionate princess, beloved by her people and fiercely loyal to her clan. But when she meets Sukuna, a charming and enigmatic member of the rival Ryomen clan, she can't help but be drawn to him. Little does she know, Sukuna has been assigned to seduce her and gain access to a valuable secret her clan is protecting. Will their forbidden love prevail, or will their loyalties tear them apart?

 ၴႅၴWarning/Tags: JJK Regency/royal au, use of regency era terminology, Sukuna x reader, Duke Sukuna! Princess reader!, smut, angst, cursing, slight violence, mommy issue reader, mention of pregnancy, slow burn, forbidden love, opposites to lovers, romance, jealousy, drinking/alcohol, fluff.

 ၴႅၴTaglist; open

 ၴႅၴStatus: coming soon!

One⋆Two⋆Three ⋆Four ⋆Five ⋆Six ⋆Seven ⋆Eight ⋆Nine ⋆Ten

Notes; will be coming after my other series are either half way done or fully done, comment if you want to be on the taglist! ᡣ𐭩

all rights reserved © 2024 Gojoluvs. please do not copy, translate, or modify my works in any sort of platform and if you do credit me.

Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 3: The Lesser of Two Devils

Pairing: Mikey Sano x Fem Reader x Izana Kurokawa

series summary: your grievous sin was emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

chapter summary: the two brothers realize that peace with emma is within their grasp, they just need your cooperation

chapter warning: dark content, 18+ nsfw, character x character smut - cunnilingnus, struggling with sexual attraction, angst, mention of assault, physical violence, slut shaming, misogyny, intrusive/dark impulsive thoughts of murder and rape, manipulation, gaslighting, objectification of reader, mental health struggles, masking, breaking and entering, smut -character x reader, reader is threatened with r*pe, dubious consent, coercion, making out, dry humping, cunnilingus (reader receiving), pussy job, terrible aftercare, religious themes and guilt, panty stealing.

wc: 12.3k

masterlist||chapter 2||chapter 4

“NGH, K-ken -more please-”

There is nothing more divine to Emma than what Draken was doing to her right now.

It was supposed to be a normal morning after a wild night. She had told Ken last night, after round five, going to round six that she had a test tomorrow, one she absolutely could not miss and he had promised her no shenanigans.

Unfortunately, Ken is not one to keep those kind of promises. She’s not sure why he decided to be touchy today; maybe it was the two weeks of no contact until you pushed her into accepting Draken’s proposal for a date night.

Whatever it was, it got the man in such a rut that he couldn’t help himself but to eat her out.

Her legs spread out wide on either side of Ken, his head buried in between her thighs, lips latched onto her clit, his tongue licking circles. Yellow eyes cast down to Draken, her hand gripping his long blond hair, forcing him to stay put.

Emma knew there was no need for that. Ken is her good boy and she is his good girl. They would do anything to keep each other happy, even if it breaks either of them.

She can’t help but let out soft moans at the gentleness of his tongue, the way his large fingers rubbed the sides of her waist to keep her grounded, occasionally rolling his tongue to her hole, before trailing back up to her clit. The girl felt her back lift from the bed, arching in a perfect circle, her heels digging into the bed. Ken hums into her pussy, sending vibrations onto her clit and a wave of electricity down her spine.

“Ken, fuck more-” she gasped, feeling his long tongue swipe up her clit, his mouth engulfed around her pussy. “Oh yesyesyes- ah”

Emma felt like she was in cloud nine, so high with bliss underneath Draken’s touch. Whenever she was with him, all her problems disappeared for a moment and everything felt so, so good. She didn’t have to think about university or lecturers sucking up to her because of her eldest brother, she didn’t have to think about Mikey and Izana bothering her or their actions or anything.

She didn’t have to think about you.

You with your soft gaze, laughing gently at whatever joke she might have told you -it wasn’t that funny and yet Emma found herself smiling along with you. Your smile, so beautiful when genuine it reflects in your eyes. Your warm skin that she looks for any excuse to touch, to feel you. The way you looked at her shocked when she showed you the knowledge she retained from Taekwondo, underneath her sweaty body, your chest rising and falling.

‘No! shit. I’m not meant to do this now. Not again’ She panicked, trying to focus on Draken’s ministrations again.

But her thoughts kept drifting back to you. Emma’s strong hands securing your thighs, pushing you down to her face until you're on top, her tongue working on your clit and hole while Draken eats her out as well. 

It was too late, the mere thought sent a wave of electricity to her clit, combined with Draken’s touch.

Her two favorite people, sandwiched between them. You’re more innocent, unskilled and Emma is willing to let both her and Draken pamper you, his large hands cupping your breast as he fucks into her while you grind on her face. Or you on the bed, Emma watching Draken fuck you stupid while she touches herself to the thought. 

‘C-can’t help it.’ She relishes in his touch and her imaginations, now switching to just you and her, your bodies pressed together as she rubs her clit on yours, gently kissing you. ‘I want you (name), I want you I want you-’

Emma cried out as she orgasmed hard, white filling her vision. Draken’s tongue worked her through the feeling, letting her grind on his face as she rode it out until she couldn’t, falling flat on her back on the pillows.

She tried to catch her breath the moment it was over, mulling over the feeling of post euphoric bliss. Draken crawled from between her legs and laid on top of her, lowering his lips to hers in an open mouthed kiss. She hummed, relishing her taste on his tongue secretly wishing it was yours too.

The man pulled away, resting his forehead on hers, just staying in silence with her as he usually did after a session. A pang of post nut guilt hit her for thinking about you like that. It felt so wrong and disrespectful, especially knowing how well you trusted her and how she cherishes you so much. You’re her friend, she’s not supposed to imagine you in such vulnerable positions, not when you probably wouldn’t be comfortable with such thoughts and not when she is in bed with someone else.

Not when you might not have feelings beyond friendship.

She didn't realize her face was scrunched up in a frown until Draken traced a large palm to her face and pressed his finger between her brows, rubbing circles in the space. “Stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles.” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. “At least that’s what you told me.”

She rolled her eyes in response, swatting his hand away as she shoved her guilt at the furthest corner of her mind. “It’s a stupid myth I told you so that you stop scaring my other friends that don’t know you. And there’s nothing wrong with wrinkles.”

He smiled mischievously, the kind that Emma was used to when he was about to push her buttons like always. “So what’s with all the beauty products?”

“Get off my case Ken.” she hissed at him, but there was no malicious intent behind her tone. “Besides you and Mikey steal my very expensive products any time either of you come here. Buy your own shit.”

“You steal the fries off my plate, too.”

“The fries are 5 dollars, Ken, you’ll live.”

Draken opened his mouth to retort when her phone rang throughout the room, interrupting whatever playful argument they were having. Emma smirked, silently claiming victory by default as she rolled off the bed -nude and walked over to her phone on the reading table, picking it up.

‘(Name)?’

That didn’t sound right. You never called her this early in the morning, stating that you prefered silence until at least nine am. No matter how hard Emma tried indoctrinating you to work out with her by six am, you were never a morning person, oftentimes falling asleep on the treadmill. It was rare to see you call in the morning and those were usually emergencies.

Emma picked up her phone with trembling hands, and an unfamiliar wave of fear settled in her gut. The last time she got a call that made her so nervous, Keisuke Baji was badly injured to the point he nearly lost his life.

‘No.’ Emma whispered to herself convincingly, steeling her resolve. ‘Maybe it’s an emergency wardrobe malfunction or she needs my laptop.’ her finger hovered on the answer button, gut feeling getting worse as she slid the green phone icon upwards. ‘It’s just something minor. Something minor-’

“hey-”

“Are you Emma Sano?” An unfamiliar masculine voice instead of yours responded, making Emma’s heart sink even further into her belly, already assuming the worst. “Y-yes. Is there a problem?”

“Yes. (Name) (last name) was assaulted last night. She is currently in the intensive care unit receiving treatment at hospital.”

The moment those words hit Emma, she felt incredibly ill to her stomach. It was as if the earth stopped spinning, time freezing her in place as she realized what had happened to you. She could picture it; you all alone, left to die some place possibly crying for her while she was having fun with Draken. Bile filled her throat but Emma quickly swallowed it down, grimacing at the taste -throwing up wasn’t going to help you now, she needed to find you and see if you were okay.

“Hello? Ms. Sano?”

Emma steeled her resolve, taking in a deep breath before continuing, her voice threatening to break. “Yes. I’ll be right there soon. Thank you.”

Emma discarded the phone on the table as soon as the call ended, moving towards the wardrobe in quick strides without another word like a robot. Draken raised a brow in confusion at her sudden mood shift, pushing the sheets off his limbs and started walking up to her. “Em? What happened?” He asked “who called?”

“(Name) is in the hospital. Dress up, you’re taking me there.”

  MIKEY hated morning classes.

The professor had been droning on about DNA profiling for the past two hours and the blond had already lost any form of interest he might have had the first thirty minutes of the class. At times like these, he’s thankful that he was only in university just to have a backup for whatever business he was going to venture in and felt pity for whoever this was their only choice.

Nothing of any significance has happened since that day in his car. You vehemently avoided him when he tried approaching Emma- which irritated him because he felt your actions are uncalled for. Izana hadn’t taken him seriously when he made the connection between you and Emma, so there was no need to pursue you any further, for now. He had asked Makoto to keep tabs on you for him, in case Izana eventually changes his mind, which Mikey knows he will do after Emma ignores him once again.

And just, for keeping tabs sake.

It wasn’t like he replayed the scene in his mind when he touched himself, thinking about how good you would feel around his cock instead of his fingers. Or that he scrolled through Emma’s instagram with his secret account and went through the photos you appeared in, admiring your smile, your pretty face and sometimes exposed thighs.

Maybe he had judged you too harshly based on his own assumptions. Hakkai had told them about your past in high school; how you were the topic of discussion in the boys locker room. They had all made a bet that Hakkai was roped into to show that he wasn’t weak- to get you to lose your virginity to either one of them in your class.

And eventually, one boy claimed he did it. Saying you even slept with the entire lacrosse team -which he was a part of- and showed them what they assumed to be your panties as proof.

Mikey conveniently left out the part that Hakkai had said was just a rumor that nearly ruined your life when telling everyone else the story.

“Alright, class dismissed! I have your tests graded and I will be sending them to you via email-”

“Thank goodness, it’s finally over” Mikey groaned, pushing himself out of his chair and rushing towards the door along with other students eager to leave. It wasn’t like he didn’t care about his studies - he was far more careful about his grades here than in high school; but it didn’t mean that he had as much patience to sit through an entire lecture without zoning out.

His stomach growled, bringing him back to reality. Since there wasn’t another class until 1pm, Mikey decided to take a well-deserved break and get food from outside the campus. He contemplated on asking Haruchiyo to do it for him, noting how his childhood friend was so obsessed with doing anything for a silver of his attention, but ultimately decided against it. Haruchiyo’s constant fawning usually was nice but it gets very suffocating pretty fast-

“Mikey! MIKEY YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

Mikey paused in his tracks, turning his head around to see Draken storming towards him, face red and teeth gritted so hard that any more force would chip the edges. Confused, the blonde haired male tried to think of what he could have done that would have caused his best friend to be so furious, he’s causing a scene instead of settling it behind doors as usual.

Sure, they’ve been at each other’s throats because Ken thought that Mikey should have apologized for being disrespectful towards you that night, but that was it.

Nothing came to mind. What the hell was going on?

“Ken-chin calm down-”

Before Mikey could even finish speaking, Draken’s fist made its way to his jaw, the force pushing him to the ground entirely. Mikey didn’t even get a chance to defend himself as more barrages of heavy blows rained down on his eye, his nose, his lips, his cheeks and any part of his body from an angry Ken. 

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU LOVE BREAKING YOUR SISTER’S HEART SO MUCH? DO YOU LOVE MAKING EMMA CRY?”

Each of his words was articulated by his heavy blows, until Mikey could barely feel his face. Any time Mikey attempted to say anything, he received a heavier blow on his mouth.

Essentially telling Mikey to shut up.

A number of hands yanked Draken away from Mikey soon after, trying to hold him back from hitting the blonde again. “FUCK OFF! DAMMIT I NEED TO KNOCK SENSE INTO THAT IDIOT!” Draken yelled, struggling against his friend's grip, wanting to lunge at him at any point in time. “DOES HE KNOW THE DAMAGE HE HAS CAUSED?”

The blond laid on the floor, in pain, shocked and clearly confused on what was happening right now. Ken had only beaten him this hard when Emma had almost gotten hurt because of him and Mikey swore to himself never to put his sister in that kind of situation ever again.

‘Emma … shit is Emma hurt?’

A sense of dread ran down Mikey’s spine. Did something happen to his sister? Is she hurt? in danger? In pain? A lump formed in his throat as his imaginations began to run wild, thinking up scenarios where Emma was hurt, lying in a hospital bed in a hospital.

Picking himself up from the floor until he could stand on his two feet, Mikey turned around to face his dark haired friend that was held back by Mitsuya and Baji. “Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?” Mikey started, ignoring the pain spreading throughout his face as he looked at the other two males, also staring back at him, shocked. “Keisuke? Mitsuya?”

“We don’t know-” Mitsuya began, keeping his grip tight on Draken. “He went to Tenjiku’s frat house first, screaming for Izana but then left when they didn’t answer the door. Then he came to Toman’s looking for you. I tried to calm him down but he stormed off-”

“DON’T GIVE HIM AN EXCUSE TO ACT DUMB!” Ken roared, cutting Mitsuya short. “YOU AND YOUR SHITTY BROTHER KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO (NAME).”

‘(name)? Was she with Emma when Draken came to pick her up?’ Mikey mused to himself, in an attempt to piece the entire story together. ‘Don’t tell me she ran her mouth about that day in the car and gave Draken the wrong impression that I hurt her.’

“What the hell are you talking about?” Mikey roared back, his temper also getting the better of him. If this was the reason that Ken was mad at him, he was going to beat his friend twice as hard and then find you to teach you a lesson. Classes be damned. “I haven’t done anything to that skank that warranted this behavior.”

“OH YOU’RE STILL CALLING HER A SKANK?” Draken screamed back, nearly furious. If not for Mucho joining to hold him back, he would have jumped at Mikey again. “YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO CALL HER THAT AFTER PUTTING HER IN A HOSPITAL? HUH?”

“Hospital?” Now Mikey was sure that whatever Draken was mad about was clearly displaced aggression because he hadn’t done ANYTHING to you to the point you would go to a hospital. “What do you mean hospital?”

“God Mikey, stop fucking pretending.” Draken sneered at his friend. “Who did you tell to do it? Huh? Did you tell Kisaki to get someone for you like you alway do? Or you just decided to take care of it yourself this time?”

“Ken-chin I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mikey was at a loss for words at this point, the pain long forgotten as he tried to prove his innocence. “I didn’t do anything to (name). I haven’t even spoken to her since last week.”

The sincerity in Mikey’s voice was enough to calm Draken down, his shoulders visibly deflating in his friend’s grip, chest heaving with each breath the tall male took. “You… you have no idea what happened?” The blonde haired male asked between labored breaths, his brow furrowed in confusion. “You didn’t know?”

“Ken-chin,” Mikey started, in between irritated at being attacked and curious as to why. “fuck if I know what happened to her. Why don’t you tell me?”

Understanding that Draken wasn’t going to attack Mikey anymore, both Keisuke and Takashi released him, letting Draken’s bloody knuckles fall at his sides. Draken didn’t look up from the ground, his fist tightly clenched at his sides. “I know you don’t care.” He rasped, his voice strained from all the yelling. “but that innocent girl was violently assaulted last night and now she’s in the ICU.”

Mikey’s outward expression remained neutral. It wasn’t surprising, considering that he never once cared about you and made that clear to everyone who tried to tell him to apologize to you.

“Emma has blamed herself for putting (name) in harm’s way.” Draken murmured, his fists tightening in response to Mikey’s nonchalant look. Of course he didn’t care but couldn’t he pretend to be concerned at least? “Even if neither you nor Izana are involved, it still doesn’t rule out the fact that you both made her to be a public enemy! Do you know how many people would hurt her just to get in your good books? To get into Toman or Tenjiku?” his voice began to rise again, scolding his friend. “You both robbed her of any support system she could ever have in this school because what? Emma became her friend?”

When Mikey didn’t respond, Draken kissed his teeth. “Of course you don’t care.” He spat out. “It doesn’t even bother you at all. And I’m sure that devil of an older brother would be cackling at the news…”

“Draken, calm down, please-” Takashi tried to reason with him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s not say things we will regret later and focus on the person hurt-”

“Forget it.” He hissed, gently pushing Takashi’s hand off his shoulder and started to leave. “I’m going to stay with Emma and check if (name) is stable.” He took a few steps before turning to look at Mikey with a cold expression. “I can’t believe you’re the same guy I call my best friend.”

Mikey watched Draken walk away, his expression neutral. Takashi was the first to follow after, talking about how he should at least treat his knuckles first. Keisuke and him made eye contact, disappointment evident in his dark haired friend’s eyes before he turned around to leave, not opting to tell Mikey anything at all.

They never saw his knuckles whitening from how hard his grip was.

Or the blood dripping down from Mikey’s clenched fists.

‘Izana’

  “WOAH, what happened to your face?”

It took everything in Mikey to hold back from decking Shion in the face.

The thoughts swarming in his head screamed murder, over and over again, calling to him. He knew that Shion had nothing to do with whatever happened to you - going by his own injured face and swollen eye, Shion is a victim of Izana as well.

He didn’t want to feel this. To hear his own thoughts curse at him, call him horrible names like ‘woman beater’ and ‘heartless’. He hated that even his own head turned against him once again, triggering something so evil and vile in his heart that made him want to see someone bleed out.

He had tried to fight it. The violent nature inside him. He tried to squash it with anything -meditating, drugs, giving into his depraved sexual urges. All that and still, one singular thing could ruin everything he had built.

And it was always Izana.

“Move.”

Shion was about to say something snarky in response, but quickly shut up the moment he noticed how dead Mikey’s expression looked and stepped aside for Mikey to enter into the fraternity house. Rindou raised a brow at Mikey’s presence, looking up from his video game to ask him what he was doing here. Only for him to swiftly turn his attention back to the game, as if he had seen a ghost.

“W-what the fuck” Rindou whispered to himself. “Holy shit he looks pissed.”

Mikey quietly made his way upstairs to Izana’s room, before forcing the door wide open with a loud bang. Izana -fully clothed- doesn’t even flinch at his presence, despite the naked blonde haired girl kneeling in front of him, mid-fingering herself, screaming in surprise, before covering her top half with her hands.

‘(name)’s roommate. Of course.’ Mikey put two and two together. ‘Always willing to sell her out for dick just like last time.’

“You” Mikey snapped at her. “Get out”

“Y-you can’t talk to me like that!” She shouted back at him before turning to Izana with doe eyes. “Baby, tell him to get out-”

She didn’t even get to finish as Izana threw her clothes at her face, before barking at her. “Are you hard of hearing? Get out before I throw you out myself.”

A sob escaped her lips as she quickly shrugged on her dress and ran out. Izana looked back at Mikey, a knowing smile gracing his lips at his younger brother’s obviously furious face.

“Judging by how you’re looking at me, you’ve seen the little present I left Emma.”

Mikey hadn’t realized when he jumped on top his brother and started exchanging blows with him. Izana doesn’t hold back either, wrestling Mikey off the bed to the ground, swinging twice as hard.

“Oh come on,” Izana yelled, articulating his words with brutal blows to Mikey’s jaw and face. “What are you angry about? She’s still alive isn’t she?”

All Mikey saw was red as he head butted his elder brother on his nose, destabilizing him before throwing Izana on the wall pinning him in place as he hit his abdomen repeatedly. “I told you not to do anything stupid.” His voice didn’t change inflection as he switched his direction to Izana’s cheek. “Why the fuck don’t you ever listen to me?”

The older male blocked the last fist aimed at his face and kneed his brother in his stomach, before kicking him to the floor. A psychotic grin made its way to Izana’s face, like the painful blows were nothing to him. “Oh come on, don’t tell me you feel-” he kicked Mikey in the face, making the blond tumble across the floor. “-bad for the little slut now? Are you in looooveee with her?”

Izana’s mockery only fuelled Mikey’s anger, making him push himself off the ground and kick his brother violently in his face. The white haired man fell straight to the ground, howling with laughter at Mikey’s outburst as the blonde jumped on top of him, ready to punch his face again.

“Oh. Oh, you’re in love with her-”

“THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Mikey’s hand froze mid punch as Kisaki Tetta - the ever cunning advisor- stepped into the room. Hanma is not too far behind, glancing at the now destroyed room with a low whistle, mumbling about how the wreckage will take a lot of money to fix.

Kisaki looked at the two of them, nose turned up in disgust as he folded his arms around his chest. His glass encased eyes scanned around the room, tsking at the destruction. “Kokonoi’s going to fucking kill me.” He murmured before looking at the two males, a frown on his lips. “All this over one bitch?” he asked, a brow raised in disappointment and shock. “I’d be impressed if I wasn’t pissed.”

Izana was the first to react, scoffing at the younger male’s unwanted interruption. “What are you even doing here? This isn’t your problem-”

“It’s mine now.” Kisaki shot back hotly, irritated by everything that was going on. “Since Mikey’s dearest friend thinks I’m responsible for whatever happened to Emma’s stupid dog, I have to make it my problem. The both of you, get up. Now.”

The two of them begrudgingly untangled themselves from each other and got up, dusting their clothes. Kisaki eyed both of them, moving from Mikey to Izana and then Mikey again.

“Which one of you is responsible for putting her in the hospital?”

“I didn’t even hit her that hard-”

“Are you still arguing about how hard you hit her?”

“Sorry. I’ll take it easy on your ‘girlfriend’ next ti-”

“ENOUGH!” Kisaki interjected once again, extremely frustrated by their constant squabbles. “You both realize that I’m- WE’RE literally under police scrutiny right now because of this entire issue right? I- I mean we need to get Emma back on our side since that is what the both of you are obsessed with.”

It was Mikey’s turn to roll his good eye, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I highly doubt that’ll ever happen, seeing as someone fucked it up for all of us-”

“Manjiro Sano, you are twenty-four for god’s sake. Stop being so childish and think with your brain for once.” Izana spat back, getting fed up with Mikey being on his case about it. “Do you really think (name) would actually admit I did anything? She’s too busy kissing our little sister’s ass to even defend herself.”

Kisaki nodded, agreeing with Izana. “Izana has a point. (Name) wouldn’t want to drag anyone into this, seeing how non-confrontational she is from my observation”

He paused for a bit before continuing. “But we can’t bank on that. You know how women are -they can snap any minute and change their mind.  We need to pressure her into keeping quiet.”

Mikey took a long and deep breath, trying to make headway and listen to what Kisaki was saying, despite the whole ordeal sounding so wrong. His good dark eye flickered to Kisaki’s face as he asked. “Like how? Do we give her a large amount of money to shut up?”

“Don’t think that far Mikey. It’s just a mild assault, not something serious.” Kisaki shrugged his shoulders. “All you have to do is apologize-”

“Apologize?” They yelled in unison.

“Shut up and let me finish.” Kisaki barked, silencing any protest from them. When he was sure they weren’t going to interrupt him, he continued. “You don’t have to mean it. Just tell Emma how sorry you were for the party incident and how bad you feel that she got hurt. Pay the hospital bills or threaten (name). I don’t care what you do. Just make sure she stays quiet.”

As much as Izana and Mikey wanted to pass off Kisaki’s idea as a stupid plan, it actually sounded like a good idea. Pretending to care for you would touch Emma’s heart and give her the impression that they bore no ill feelings towards you.

They had to admit, as much as Kisaki was a bastard who was only doing this for his drug business, they couldn’t deny he was more insightful than anyone when it came to interpersonal relationships.

Too bad he couldn’t use that skill to get the woman he loved.

Now that they had an idea on what to do, one question still remained at the tip of Mikey’s tongue. “What about the police? If they ask who is responsible and she just dropped the case, they’re going to get suspicious.” he looked at his feet. “Plus my elder brother cannot find out that this happened. He’ll personally make sure we rot in jail for hitting a woman.”

“Yeah, he’s so adamant about protecting women.” Izana said dryly. Why does he need to care about other women who were probably asking for it? It wasn’t his business. “It annoys the hell out of me. I can understand protecting my sister but what does other women have to do with me?”

“They probably need protection from you. Freak.” Kisaki muttered underneath his breath before returning to his normal voice. “The both of you don’t have to worry about that. I already have a fall guy. Fucker can’t pay his debt in cash, so he’ll pay with his body”

Izana raised brow, impressed by Kisaki’s speed in doing damage control. No matter how much he made fun of Kisaki not being able to fight when push came to shove, he admired how quick he was with his thinking. At least he had that going for him. “You’re sure you weren’t some criminal mastermind in your former life?”

“I ask the same question everyday.” Hanma, who had been standing at the doorway completely silent this entire time, finally spoke. “Almost scares me sometimes.”

Kisaki only rolled his eyes in response, training his pointed gaze at Izana, issuing a final warning. The hoops he had to jump just to even evade being a suspect in the case, having to talk to police and deny knowing you so that they don’t crack down further on whatever shady business he partook in, was already stressful enough.

 “This is the first and last time I’ll do this for any of you. I won’t tolerate any slip ups again. Don’t make me regret it.”

EMMA was careful in switching out the old flowers with the new ones in your hospital room.

It had been four days since she had rushed here, bare faced and teary eyed and met you in a sorry state. Back then your face was barely unrecognizable; your two eyes were swollen shut, handprints on the two sides of your cheeks, bruises littered everywhere. Your body was so cold- medium hypothermia the doctor had diagnosed, since you were left outside as the temperature dropped. You were in so much pain and you could barely react, that they had to knock you out to treat you properly.

Ken had left in a fury the moment he was sure you were going to be okay, and returned with busted knuckles, along with Mitsuya and Baji at his side. Emma couldn’t remember exactly what they were telling her as they sat besides her in your hospital room, much more preoccupied by keeping her eye on you.

It was all the same. “Sorry. We’re so sorry Emma.”

She was sorry too. But sorry could not change what had happened to you.

They would switch hours with her. In the morning, Mitsuya would arrive, food, new clothes and a sketchbook in hand and watch you while she goes to the hospital to shower and change. She’d come back to see him gently holding your hand and talking about his new ideas to you, only letting go when she made her presence known. He’d stay until twelve o’ clock, silently sketching for his portfolio before leaving for his next class and in came Keisuke.

Sometimes Baji would come with Chifuyu or Kazutora. Not the both of them, because he said one of them has to cover up for the others missing in class. They would arrive with takeout and Baji would talk about the latest gossip in school- how two professors were caught with each other. Both were married, to other people of course but it never stopped them. Sometimes he’d turn his attention to you as the nurse changed your IV and make corny jokes. He took your fingers moving a bit as a sign you liked them.

Draken came in the late afternoon. Always with flowers and Emma’s school work. Hina was usually with him, silently looking at her feet before taking a seat beside the blonde girl. “How are you?” “Have you had anything to eat?” and then the orange haired girl would go into what happened in class that day.

“We had a test today.” Hinata whispered, watching Emma put the dead flowers in the dustbin. “I wrote your part for you.”

“Did you write for (name) too?” She doesn’t even look at Hinata as she caressed the flowers. “Or did you forget about her like you claim that you always do?”

“I-” Hinata froze at how hostile Emma’s tone was. Before you came, Hinata was her closest friend. They spent so much time together in middle school and high school that people called them sisters. So when you suddenly appeared in the picture, Hinata felt side lined with how you and Emma, despite being different, clicked so fast.

That feeling bloomed into a tiny jealousy but Hina was too kind to wish evil upon you.

“Don’t be hard on Hina.” Draken jumped in her defense. “She tried writing for (name) but the time of the test ran out. (Name) can always retake the test since she’s ill.”

“She should have written for (name) first. One call from my brother would have taken care of my grades. (Name) doesn’t have that privilege.”

“Emma-”

“No Draken, don’t Emma me!” She snapped, all the anger bubbling inside her finally spilling out. “Since this whole ordeal it has always been ‘oh Emma we’re so sorry’ ‘Emma have you eaten?’ ‘Emma, have a change of clothes.’ ‘Emma Emma Emma’ as if I’m the one who is lying in the hospital bed, unconscious! Not one of you has apologized to her!”

“We-”

“Shut up Ken” she screamed in frustration, tears spilling from her eyes. “All of you sat and watched my brothers practically ruin her chance at having anyone care for her, that isn’t me! You watched her get humiliated at that fucking party and sided with THEM! None of you would have given a shit about her being here if I wasn’t looking after her!”

“Emma-”

“I’m not done yet!” she yelled, silencing Hinata. “Her family is useless! None of them cared enough to even come when I told them what happened to her! And now even the people that come everyday only dote on me while she’s just an afterthought! Hell only Mitsuya had the decency to ask me if she had made any progress or woken up. What is wrong with all of you!”

The two of them remained quiet, looking directly at the floor as Emma breathed heavily, clearly exhausted from all the screaming she had done. Awkwardness settled in the air, the two ashamed of themselves. In the end, the bitter truth was what Emma had said and they felt terrible for it. Although it wasn’t intentional, they had ostracized you for the sake of pleasing Mikey and Izana. Even the attack was because of how badly the two brother’s had demonized you in front of other people.

Draken inhaled before stepping forward and placing his large arms around Emma’s smaller frame. She doesn’t struggle, instead collapsing in his arms, loud sobs escaping her lips. He doesn’t say anything, only rubbing circles on her back to ease her. “Easy. It’s alright.” He whispered, gently comforting her.

Before she could say anything, the door of the hospital opened up, revealing Ran with a huge bouquet of flowers, Rindou not following too behind with ridiculously large balloons all spelling get well soon and Kakucho holding a bunch of bags containing chocolates.

The respective trio all glanced at each other, blinking back and forth, increasing the odd tension in the air. After another thirty seconds of silence, Ran was the first to break the ice.

“Uh… did we arrive at the wrong time?”

Emma quickly pushed herself away from Ken, wiping her tears off quickly with the back of her hand and returning to her regular self. There was no way she’d let anyone else see her cry. “No-” she started shaking her head. “No, no, no, this is the right time. Come in.”

The three of them stepped in and Kakucho shut the door to the ward behind him. “Sorry, we didn’t come earlier.” Kakucho began, walking straight to where you laid peacefully, your chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. “How is she um… doing?”

“She’s getting better.” Emma replied, her voice a tad bit shaky from crying. “The doctors said the moment she wakes up, she’ll be able to leave.”

Draken watched as the three men rallied around her bed after dropping the gifts off in a proper place. Another moment of silence befalls the room, everyone watching you sleep peacefully - trying to bury their individual guilt of being complicit in what brought you here. Emma’s stubbornness, Draken and Hinata’s consistent silence and Ran, Rindou and especially Kakucho’s unwavering loyalty that have forced them to lie to Emma.

And you, in the center of it all. Face almost back to normal now, the swelling nearly gone, but still littered with bruising that surrounded your neck.

All they could do was stare powerlessly and feel sorry for you.

Eventually, Hinata and Draken had to leave as night time emerged. “I’ve got to meet up with Takemichi.” Hinata said as she packed her things away, her voice soft. “He’s not been feeling so good for the past few days now. He sends his regards though.”

“I hope he gets well soon.” Emma replied quietly, before giving Hina one last hug. “And I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

“It’s okay.” She patted Emma’s back, before pulling away. “I’ll try and talk to the professor about her test in class.”

Ran and Rindou were the next to leave after another hour. “Should we get bigger balloons next time for the sleeping beauty, Emma?” Ran asked, a bit too flirtatious for her liking.

“That’s the last thing anyone would want” Rindou snapped, grabbing Ran by his arm and dragging him away. “Sorry about him.” He shouted as they walked away through the door, Ran muttering about how the pretty girls in there were already stuck dating losers. “I hope (name) wakes up soon.”

Kakucho stayed until it grew dark before leaving Emma. “I’ve tried talking to Izana to at least come.” He said, slipping on his jacket and tucking his bike keys in his pockets. “He hasn’t really said anything about what happened, he just stays cooped up in his room.”

Emma exhaled for the upteenth time today, resting her back on the chair. “I never expected any more from him.” She mumbled. “Thanks anyways.”

Kakucho nodded, patting the girl on the back. “I’ll come see you tomorrow. Make sure you don’t fall asleep on the seat.”

“I’ll try.”

The room fell silent again the second Kakucho shut the door. Now left all alone, Emma gently held your hand, watching over you until her eyes grew heavy. Even with the fading bruises littered all over your face and the disappearing eye bags, you looked so beautiful, at peace with the world. You were like those beautiful statues of mother Mary she saw when she went to church with you one time. A timeless beauty, marred by scars and failed by the very God that sought to protect her.

She longed for you to have the light in your eyes again like the first day she met you in class. You were so happy - naïve but happy back then. You would always light up when you experienced something for the first time. There was a brightness associated with you - far brighter than her and like a moth to a flame, she was drawn to you.

God, she missed your hugs. Whenever Emma had an awful day you would just hug her and stay like that until she felt better. She missed your voice, hearing you speak demurely or shyly. She missed you so much it nearly drove her crazy.

If only she could have been there to protect you. In a heartbeat she would change her mind to be with you or take your place.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please wake up.”

  MIKEY gently opened the door to your hospital room, careful not to startle or wake anyone up.

A voice nagged him in his head, that he was a coward to come so late in the night but at this point, Mikey could care less of what he thinks of himself. The only important thing right now was to get on Emma’s good side and completely get rid of the notion that he was the bad guy.

Even though he had called in favors from the chief of hospital staff to let him do this.

Izana had insisted on following him behind, but got held back because he was shit at parallel parking. Mikey wondered how his brother even got his license in the first place, considering that Izana intentionally broke nearly all the traffic rules to get here.

His footsteps were soft, creeping towards your bed until he stopped beside Emma’s chair. She slept in an awkward position, neck hanging off the head of the chair, mouth wide open with drool to the side and her hand tightly clutching yours. He could see how worn out she looked, dried tears staining her face, heavy rings of dark circles, coupled with tangled blonde hair.

Wordlessly, Mikey pried her hand from your own and picked her up from the chair to the more comfortable sofa seat, putting her in a better sleeping position before covering his younger sister with a blanket.

He felt bad. She spent lonely nights by the looks of it, wishing you would wake up. He had never seen her look so tired or worn out before and he hated seeing her so stressed over something so … irrelevant.

He gradually walked back to her former seat, man spreading wide enough as he sat down. It was so weird to see you sleep like you were a human being, your chest rising and falling ever so softly. The moon casted its gentle glow on your face, gracefully tracing the column of your neck to the rest of your body. His mind went back to a fairytale his mother used to tell him, about a beautiful princess, pricking her finger on a needle and falling into a death like sleep.

The similarities were there. Tragedy befell you both. You were asleep with no indication of waking up and as much as he hated to admit it to himself- he knows you’re beautiful.

It was the first thing he noted when he set his eyes on you for the first time ever. There was just this brightness and gentility that came with your beauty that nauseated him. You were sweet. Far too sweet when he spoke to you for the first time and too kind to be true. He hated it. Why were you so kind when nobody really deserved it?

Even when he was painstakingly mean to you, you tried so hard to apologize. It made it harder for him, being jealous of your ability to warm hearts faster than him. He wanted nothing more but to make you cry and hurt like him until you’re no longer kind anymore. Anything that would block out that brightness from you.

His mom was nice and sweet like you. And dead. Very much dead. Going by your track record, you’ll marry the first man to bat an eye at you and live a miserable life getting cheated on until you die of a broken heart. You were just that naïve.

You were just that weak.

He watched you for some more minutes, the only noise being the ticking clock above your head. It was so easy to harm you right now. A pillow to your head and it would be the end for you. Maybe Emma would cry a little bit but then she’ll move on and run back to her beloved brothers, then everything would be back to normal.

Or, he could slide his hand underneath the flimsy blanket and just finger you again. Or force his cock into you and cover your mouth with his hand if you wake up. It wasn’t like you would be able to fight him off. As long as he cleaned you up and left no noticeable mark, no one would know what happened.

He put his hand underneath your blanket and rested on your thigh, thumb circling on the bare skin. His mind whispered to just “do it” and “take you”.

‘It’s so easy. So eas-’

“Manjiro?”

It was so faint and yet he heard your groggy voice call out to him, stopping him in his tracks and he pulled away from your thigh. Your eyes cracked open, darting around as you sat up disoriented. “Where am I?”

It was obvious you had just woken up from the induced coma or whatever they had put you on. His mind suddenly blanched, now confused on what to do or tell you. What now? Was he supposed to comfort you and tell you you’re in a hospital? Or get you to lie down? ‘I hadn’t anticipated she'd wake up? What should I tell her?’

And as if the universe cursed Mikey, the door creaked open, revealing Izana mumbling about he hated driving a car.

The reaction was immediate. Your once confused visage morphed into a terrified expression the moment you locked eyes with Izana in the dimly lit room. You must have remembered what had happened before you passed out, every single detail rushing back to you in full force.

‘Shit, this wasn’t part of the plan.’

“You! You tried to kill me! Get away from me-mmhmmphmm-”

A hand slapped on top of your mouth, keeping you from speaking. You looked back up to Mikey with fearful eyes, who placed a finger to his lips, shushing you. “Shut up.” He hissed. “Or do you want us to finish the job?”

Your eyes grew wide with fear at his murderous gaze, the pit in your stomach only growing deeper as Izana made his way to your bedside, now standing in front of you. Your body trembled rigorously when the tan skinned man suddenly pulled out a gun, brandishing it in your face.

“Now listen to me.” Izana threatened, pressing the gun to your temple to buttress his point. “Not a word about anything from that night. Understood?” You nodded, scared out your mind. “You’re gonna act like we’re cool with each other. I don’t want any form of frowning or fear or anything that’ll raise suspicion. I don’t care how bad you are at acting, you’re gonna put on an oscar-worthy performance pretending we apologized to you and you’re okay. You don’t want to find out what happens when you cross me.”

You nodded your head as tears rolled down your cheeks, your fingers gripping the sheets below you tight to anchor yourself, praying he doesn’t change his mind and blow your brains out. Satisfied, Izana tucked in the gun underneath his holster and patted the top of your head patronizingly. “That’s a good, good girl.” He cooed, “you’re a good girl aren’t you? You’ll stay quiet, hm?”

You shivered as his warm hand caressed your face, his touch being so gentle for you as opposed to his violent nature. Mikey released your mouth, his dark eyes flicking from your face to your lips. “Use your words.” The blond snarled.

“Y-yes. N-no one will know.”

It was almost cute the way you stuttered. They should be feeling some sort of remorse for making you cry just as you woke up from a minor coma, possibly ruining a happy moment for you, but you looked so pretty whimpering and shaking for them.

“Good, good girl.” Your stomach churned at Izana’s satisfied smirk. “You’re smarter than I thought.”

You watched as the two of them stood upright and headed for the door, their mission accomplished. Tears gathered in your eyes once again, a loud snivel escaping your lips, slapping a hand to your mouth when it caught their attention.

Izana, already fed up with you, walked back to your bedside, teeth gritted in irritation as he lowered his lips to your ear. “I’ll give you something to cry about if you don’t shut up.” he growled. “Wipe your tears NOW.”

You complied quickly, cleaning your face repeatedly until your face was raw. “Now lie back down.” He demanded and you compiled, pushing your body back until you laid on the bed, facing the wall. You only heard footsteps as they walked away and you don’t dare shed any tears until you hear the door slam shut.

‘Oh God.’

  YOU knew better than to disobey Izana and Mikey.

Your smiles were as bright as the sun, eyes shining with the radiance that could only be compared to a bright light. There was a pep in your step anytime you walked, pushing forth all the positive energy you could give to the world. Everyone complimented how well you took the incident that befell you and how fast you healed, commending you on not letting the past define you.

It’s toxic. People saying just how strong you are for smiling and existing rots your brain and fills your throat with bile. They can’t see the hurt underneath the layers of clothes you wear or the blinding smile and wave you give everyone.

You want someone to notice you’re in pain and hug you, swear they will protect you and keep you safe. But as long as Mikey and Izana live, nobody will ever risk their life for you.

They got what they wanted. Emma was talking to them again after you lied to her face that they had apologized to you in the middle of the night. Someone else was in jail, awaiting trial for assaulting you, while Izana roamed free, clinging onto Emma to make up for lost time. Mikey would occasionally glance at you from time to time as you watched them from afar, waiting for Emma to be done so that you could go back to your dorms.

She had refused you going anywhere alone since that incident, citing that someone might still attack you. “I just want you to be safe, '' she had said once, trying to explain herself to you.

You didn’t have the heart to tell her what really made you feel unsafe.

“(Name), what’s the subject of the sentence?”

“Huh?”

You’re brought back to earth when Hina snapped her fingers in your face. She had decided to join Emma in helping you study for your makeup tests due in a week, but you don’t seem to be focusing on anything at all. Your thoughts kept drifting back to Izana and Manjiro, plagued by their constant playing god in your life.

Pushing those thoughts aside, you decided to pay more attention to the test you were studying for. Eventually, they’ll give up on harassing you and everything will go back to normal, being the joint kings of the school until they graduate. You’ll be a tiny blot in their memories as they find partners, get married and have kids, all the while running Japan’s crime scene.

There was no need to keep thinking about them. You were insignificant in the scheme of things.

Just keep your head down and study. Be a coward and tuck your tail between your legs.

“Sorry Hinata. The last sentence went over my head.” you said, pushing your book forward. You felt bad for wasting Hina’s time- even though she’s the best in your class, you were sure she would rather be doing something else than having to sit all night studying with you. “Subject verb agreement in a compound sentence isn’t my strong suit.”

The orange haired girl merely shrugged her shoulders in response. “Eh. It’s cool. Professor Hanabi was terrible at teaching it anyways and I didn’t understand what he was saying in class.”

“But you got a perfect score.” You interjected, if Hinata didn’t understand the topic what are the chances of you getting it either? “Only you and Emma don’t have to retake this test again.”

“Because we went on youtube immediately after class. Duh!” Emma clapped back. “Unlike some of us who think facebook is still a valid form of social media.”

“Hey!” You screamed back, embarrassed at Emma making fun of you. Why she loved bringing up the fact that facebook was the only social media you were allowed to use at home still remained a mystery. “You said you wouldn’t bring that up again!”

“That’s one promise I’ll never keep.” She teased, sticking out her tongue. You opened your mouth to retort when Hinata snapped back at the both of you. “Alright, that’s enough. Focus on the lesson, I only have an hour left until I meet up with Takemitchi.”

“Fine.” you and Emma groaned in unison. You would get her another time.

You decided to spend the rest of the hour listening to Hinata talk about compound sentences and occasionally, Emma chiming in with short quizzes. It was slow, but you were making some form of progress with their help until you were sure you got the hang of it. You moved on to other topics in the course, asking questions whenever you were confused.

By the time you had reached the quota of your studying, it was about ten pm. The two girls had to pack up and go their separate ways, leaving you to do your revision for the rest of the night, alone.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Emma asked you as she stood outside your room door. “Your roommate hasn’t returned back to the room since you came back from the hospital.”

Shaking your head, you put a hand on Emma’s shoulder, reassuring her that you were going to be fine with staying all alone. “Em, it’s fine. I’m already in my room so no one will harm me.”

“You sure?”

The worry in her yellow eyes made your heart hurt. You hated seeing your friend who had spent the most part of last week watching over you while you were knocked out in the hospital look so troubled. It wasn’t her fault that her brothers were like that and you didn’t want her to punish herself for it.

“Sure, Em.” You smiled, before pulling her in for a tight hug, inhaling her flowery scent. “I’ll even lock the doors tight. Nothing will happen to me in my room.” You mumbled into her shoulder, lingering in her arms before pulling away and forcefully dragging herself until she disappeared into the hallways.

Now left to your own devices, you ensured the door was locked, before going ahead to shower. You let the cold water wash away the sweat and grime off your body, making you relax your tense muscles for the first time today. The stress of having to pretend you were okay was weighing down on you - a heavy burden that felt far too big and far too much for you to carry. You’ve been assaulted twice and the perpetrators still waltzed around like they’ve done nothing wrong to you. You saw them with prettier girls hanging off their arms, all smiles and laughter. Hell, they treat them far better than you, buying them gifts and taking them out.

You only asked for an apology from them, but they couldn’t even give you that.

The sound of your room door unlocking broke you out of your trance. ‘Wow, she decided to come home, finally.’ Your roommate, Kehlani hadn’t bothered to even check up on you in the hospital from what you heard, despite her being aware -and admitting to Emma that she knew. She even confused you further when she gave you a dirty look the day you returned and then disappeared the next without any trace.

It didn’t matter anyways. You and her were never on good terms in the first place so you didn’t bother with her behavior. Perhaps she would one day warm up to you if you kept being kind to her.

Thankful that you took your nightwear with you, you shrugged on your blue tank top and your tiny white shorts decorated with flowers, hung your towel on the rack and brushed your teeth clean, ready for the night. A yawn escaped your lips as you reached for the door, deciding to retire early tonight.

“I have nothing else to do anyways” you hummed, walking out of the bathroom. “I need to rest too…”

The words died on your lips the moment you locked eyes with Mikey’s.

He was just sitting on your bed calmly, looking straight at you with a blank expression on his face, still clothed in his usual baggy carton coloured trousers and button up shirt twice his size. Your heart leaped into your throat at how unbothered he was being caught in your room, his hands resting on his knees. You could feel his gaze, dark, empty -at first, drinking up the sight of you in such little clothes until a smile makes its way to his lips.

“Manjiro.” Your voice started shaking as multiple questions rang through your head. What was he doing in here? How did he get in here? Why did he come here? What was he going to do to you? "Manjiro please-”

“(Name), come here.”

You hate how collected his voice sounds, how he’s not freaking out, like it was his room that you broke into and not the other way around. You stay rooted in place, not wanting to obey him or anything he has to say. “Please…” was all you could manage to get out of your lips, your back pressed to the door as he stared you down. “Please don’t do this.”

“Unless you want me to rape you, then come here. I don’t have that time to play games with you.”

The bluntness of his words sent chills all over your body. Something told you it was better to go along with whatever he said, hopefully he wouldn’t want anything too much from you.

You would rather not want to find out if he would truly hurt you.

Your body pushed off the wall and made its way to him until you were standing in front of him. You swallowed down your fear as his hands reached up to the sides of your clothed ass, kneading them in his palms. “How soft.” He murmured, before pressing his nose to your crotch, sniffing you down until his head was between your legs. Your body grew hot with embarrassment as he smelt you like he was a fucking dog, humming in approval at your scent.

“Manjiro-”

“Shh.” He silenced you, pulling his head from between your thighs. His palms that once kneaded your plump ass suddenly grabbed them and pushed you onto his lap. A tiny gasp emanated from your lips as you felt something very hard poke you through his layers of clothes, your face just inches from his until your noses touched.

You don’t smell alcohol or anything strange in his breath. He was doing this sober.

‘No, no, no-’ you panicked at the feeling of his hard on in his pants. You can’t let him touch you like this, the first time was already a mistake. You can’t make the same mistake again. You’ve spent so much time praying and doing penance, you can’t let it go to waste now.

“Manjiro please. This is wrong-” you started pleading with him, pressing your hand on his chest, putting some distance between the two of you. “I can’t do this. It’s wrong- ah”

His lips find purchase on your neck, before dragging it across your neckline to your jaw. His hands push you until you’re pressed into his chest, immobilizing you from trying to run away from him. You shivered with each wet kiss Mikey littered around your neck, his lips so gentle in kissing you up and down. His hands start to slowly rock your hips, grinding down on his hard on with a low groan as he moves to your mouth, lips pressing gently at the corners.

“Open your mouth.”

You gave in, slightly parting your lips for him to kiss you fully. The way he slotted his lips against yours felt so wrong, so sinful as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth to intertwine with your own wet muscle and yet, your body couldn’t help but react to it, wetness slowly seeping from your womanhood to your panties.

Each kiss was more sensual than the last, a hand moving from your hips to the back of your neck, keeping you in place as he made out with you, his hot muscle gliding over yours.

Was this how he made girls feel? As much as you hated what was happening, your body grew hot with each grind and kiss, his clothed cock teasing your soaked clit. You felt so airy and lightheaded, like nothing else was going on in the world but him. It wasn’t like the first time in his car, where everything was rushed and it hurt; this time he was gentle, methodological which was unexpected from the careless and cruel Manjiro Sano you were forced to deal with everyday.

He pulled away from you, a long string of spit connecting both your lips. The grinding stopped, and you nearly let out a whine because it was beginning to feel good.

The realization made you snap back to reality. What the hell were you thinking? This was disgusting.

“Manjiro, I can’t do this.” You started pleading with him. You don’t know what could have gotten into the blonde haired male, but you needed him to stop this and leave, before it escalated into something else. “Please, we have to sto- oof.”

Mikey was quick to shove you on the bed completely face up, before climbing on top of you, crushing you with his weight by lying down on you. You opened your mouth to protest only to be silenced by a kiss again, this time far rougher than the last one, both your teeth clanging on each other. Your head spun as his hands began to travel underneath your tank top, pushing the flimsy material up until your breast sprang free.

With his body pressed on yours, you felt his dick twitch at the same time.

He pulled away from your lips, his hair forming a curtain around both your faces and focused on your breasts. Your body grew hot as he groped the two mounds at the same time, his breathing heavy as he played with them. Your head falls to the side with him squeezing your tits before massaging it again, eliciting moans from you.

“You have such nice tits.” He murmured between breaths, groping and teasing you with each compliment. You’ve never been complimented by Mikey before, all you knew was how caustic he could be to you. “Nice tits. Nice ass. Nice pussy.” He groaned, pinching your nipple hard and making you whine loudly. “Even your moaning is so cute.”

You don’t know how to react. His behavior is so unlike him. So strange that you don't even understand why he was acting this way. You briefly looked up at him, noticing how hooded his gaze was. His face was red, the blush extending to his neck and hell, even his hands were red.

It made you feel shy. You turned your head and looked away from him, not wanting to be under his scrutinizing gaze. Everything felt so wrong, but you couldn’t deny that his gentle touches made your heart race fast and the pulse between your legs grow wet.

He finally lets go of your breast and kisses your neck again, earning soft moans from your lips. He trailed butterfly kisses down your neck, to your sternum, down to your stomach. A soft “Manjiro” escaped your lips as he kissed your pelvic line simultaneously, hooking his fingers on your shorts and panties to pull them down.

It was as if that snapped you out of your lustful haze. Nobody had ever seen you down there before, it was wrong to let a man that isn’t your husband see such intimate parts of you. You sat up and put your hand on his wrists, stopping him from moving further. “Manjiro wait- we can’t…” you protested. “... it’s against what I -”

“Interrupt me again. I dare you.”

You froze at how dark his voice sounded. It was as if another man had taken his place, with how he was so quick to change his mood. “Lie on your back or I’ll rip these to shreds.”

You obeyed, not wanting to incur his wrath, closing your eyes as he dragged your shorts and panties down to your ankles, leaving it there. Your let out shaky breaths as he spreads your thighs wide, showing your glistening wet pussy in all its glory. He adjusted himself until he was kneeling on your bed and yanked you forwards, earning a yelp from you until your legs were on each of his shoulders, shorts and panties hanging off from one leg.

The position felt so exposing, but any shame you felt disappeared when he began kissing your inner thighs. You breathed through your nose in an attempt to steady yourself. You’re not familiar with this sort of position - not even the romance books you snuck into your room from the library talked about what Mikey was about to do.

‘Just breathe.’ You whispered to yourself. ‘It will all be over so-’

Your eyes flew open as his tongue licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit, your whine high enough for the entire dorm to hear. His fingernails pressed crescents into your thighs as he started to glide his tongue around your clit, circling around it in lazy, slow eights. Your body seized up, the bundle of nerves firing signals that even you couldn’t understand.

‘W-what- OH MY GOD-’

“MANJIRO-”

He didn’t let up, maintaining his pace as you trembled underneath his tongue, rolling around your clit before moving down, flattening his tongue until he stopped at your entrance, before moving up again. Your head fell back onto the bed as he opened his mouth even wider, his tongue slurping your juices emanating from your pussy, moving up and down.

His lips latched onto your clit, sucking deeply, his tongue running through the middle letting go with a loud pop before grinding his face on your cunt, his tongue slurping and sucking, sending vibrations from your clit, straight to your brain. Each stroke had your fingernails digging deep into your sheets hard, until you were sure you had torn holes in them. Your body shook and trembled with how fast he bobbed his head up and down, tongue brushing your sensitive nub with each stroke until your head swarmed with pleasure. His grip on your thigh was hard, forcing you to stay put instead of closing your legs around his head or running away.

Your head was foggy as a familiar build up started forming in your belly. At this point, you’re sure the entire dorm building knows who exactly was in your room with how loud you were moaning. Your body writhed in his grip as he increased the speed of his tongue fucking against your sensitive bud, focusing on that particular place with a circular motion and sending waves of pleasure throughout your entire body. Your back arched as you pushed your hips further into his face, trying to hump his face to match the pace he set.

“Manjiro-  please I can’t- Ah!”

You let out an ear piercing scream as he flickered his tongue on your nub, dragging you closer to ecstasy. Your hand flew to his hair, forcing his face further into your cunny and hips automatically and clumsily grinding against his lips and tongue- unknowing suffocating him. All you cared for at this point was to get to the edge and just let go, bucking your hips even faster.

“Manjiro, oh God! Ahh unh…”

The noises you let out were nearly unintelligent, just your mind repeating the urge for you to cum on his tongue. Mikey dug his fingers into your thighs, his moans vibrating around your nub, clearly enjoying eating you out as well- increased the sensation, pushing you closer and closer. He indulged you, moving his head sideways to increase the sensation until your vision starts to blanch out, toes curling on his shoulders.

“MANJIRO OH, OH IT’S CLOSE OH OH-”

Your hips stuttered as your orgasm washed over your entire body, grinding your clit on his tongue to ride it out. He’s lapping up your juices as they gush out, groaning at how you’re twitching and cumming on his tongue, crying out his name with every thrust until you’re sure you can’t cum anymore.

 You collapse on the bed hard, your body quivering with the aftershock of the intense pleasure you just experienced. You watch through tired eyes as Mikey discarded your limp legs to either sides of his waist, raising his head up to reveal his cum stained face, a lustful grin gracing his lips.

He reached up to you again and grabbed your chin, kissing you to taste your release, letting the tangy flavor invade your tongue. He pulled away, his hand still on your chin. “You taste good.” He hummed, making you feel so warm and fuzzy before kissing your face again. “You know what a pussy job is?” when you shook your head no, he groaned. “Alright, I can work with this.” He murmured before demanding that you, “pull your panties up.”

You knew better than to disobey or ask questions when he gives you that look, scooping up your panties until you covered your sensitive pussy. He started to unbuckle his belt, zipping his baggy trousers and shimming down his boxers, letting his cock spring free. You averted your eyes from staring at the slightly darkened appendage leaking with precum not wanting to sin any further than you already have.

He’s too preoccupied to care, dragging his hand around his member to spread the pre, lubricating his cock until it was slick. Mikey slipped your panties aside and uses his fingers to spread your still sensitive folds, sliding his cock with one hand into your panties until it’s well balanced between your folds, making you jolt in response.

“Fuck” he hissed, his hips bucking between your legs, slightly stimulating your already sensitive clit. “You’re so fucking wet, shit.” he groaned into your ear, dragging his cock back and forth.

Your poor swollen nub brushed against his cock as he jerked against you, earning loud whimpers from you. Each thrust is accompanied with Mikey’s soft moans, pleasure blooming in his body as your wet juices leaked on to his erect cock, making him press himself further into your folds to feel more and more of you.

His hands grab at your hips again, this time moving them as he rolled his, creating a steady rhythm for each other. Both your moans mixed with the squelching noise of his dick rubbing against your wet pussy echoed throughout the room. The scene was erotic, the two of you pressed against each other, Mikey’s flushed face glistening with sweat and his mouth wide open, heavily breathing above you, your eyes closed and mouth parted open, broken pleas falling from your lips as he stimulated your clit again.

“Uh- fuck-” the blond groaned, rocking his hips faster with each thrust, relishing in the feeling of just being able to play with your folds like this. “Ugnh (name), shit- I’m the only one allowed near your pretty folds, understood?” 

“Huh-”

“No one. No other man.” He rasped out, trying to keep himself grounded as he commanded you, jerking his cock faster and faster, his hips stuttering. “Is allowed near this pussy. It’s mine and mine only-” You nodded mindlessly, not even understanding why he brought that up. “Say it. Say your pussy is mine”

“It’s yours” you breathed. “My pussy is all yours.”

“Yeah. That’s right. All mine.”

Your body shuddered the second he gave his final thrusts, rubbing his cock against your folds until he came with a low ‘fuck’, loads of cum staining your panties completely, the rest dripping on the bed in a final pump. He briefly collapsed on top of you, catching his breath until his heart returned to its normal rate.

The lustful fog had eventually cleared from your eyes and the sting of guilt and humiliation ate you alive. Here you were, lying down half-naked and face up, underneath Manjiro Sano, already breaking your promise to never return back to your sin. You felt so dirty, your body marked and swollen from the littered hickeys and bruises he left in his wake.

You’re not shocked when he pulled out from your soiled panties and tucked his dick back in. The best he does is go to his bathroom to wash his hands, before coming out with a wet towel and a panty change. He sat beside you, taking off your filthy panties and wiping you down before giving you the new ones, helping you to put them on, adjusting your clothes and finally, covering the blanket over you. You’re too ashamed to tell him to help you change your sheet or check if he put your soiled underwear in the right place. You don’t even ask him how he got in your room.

All you do is wallow in your own guilt, unaware that he left the room with your filthy panties in his pockets.

Bonus scene:

 “SINCE when does Mikey get pissed when we make a joke?”

Takashi tried to drown out Nahoya’s irritating voice as he worked on his new clothing article for an assignment. His fingers worked in tandem with the sewing machine, hoping the noise would drown out the stupid agrument going on right now.

Tonight was supposed to turn out differently. They were all having fun and playing video ganes or asking each other to do stupid dares. This was supposed to be a chance to relax without having the whole school crammed in their frat house. Eventually it came to talking about girls they had slept with or would like to sleep with, and while he didn’t contribute, it was meant to be just something they wouldn’t take seriously.

That was until Hanma opened his fucking mouth and brought you up.

“You guys kept bringing up (name), how was that funny dude.” Keisuke snapped back at Nahoya. “Did you even hear the way you were talking about her?”

“It’s not like we were talking about his sister, Baji.” Pah tried to defend them. “He said any girl that wasn’t a member’s sister or Hina. How would we know he didn’t want to hear about her?”

“Maybe because he hates her?” Kazutora added amongst the ruckus. “Sure, her name is no longer banned from the house but you know he’s salty whenever she’s brought up. Or maybe he doesn’t like to hear people talk about how they want to hunt his sister’s friend down and fuck her like a whore?”

“He’s called her worse.” Hanma, the cause of the entire problem, shrugged, clearly unbothered by the situation. “I’m sure he’s only mad because he’s not the only one that wants to sleep with her. Is it our fault she’s always looks like she’s asking for dick with those eyes of hers?”

That was the final straw for Mitsuya. He slammed the breaks on the machine and quickly got up, now facing Hanma and the rest of them. “(Name) isn’t asking for anything, you’re just a pervert.” He hissed.

“Aww, the gentle man finally speaks.” Hanma teased. “You know she wouldn’t fuck you right? She’s a sucker for Mikey after all.”

Ignoring Hanma’s statement, Mitsuya decided to address the rest of toman’s executives. “Don’t you all have sisters or mothers?” Mitsuya started lecturing them. “How would you feel if someone started talking about them, the way you talk about (name)? She just went through a traumatic event, can’t you have some sympathy for her a litt-”

The room fell quiet the moment Mikey walked in, slamming the door shut. The atmosphere grew tense as their leader made his way to the center of the room, a neutral expression written on his face. They watched him slowly pull out something from his pocket and throw it on the table.

‘What the-’

It was clear what the piece of article was and who owned it.

Everyone in the room stared in shock, looking at the panties and the back to Mikey, who turned around to return to his room. Like he didn’t just do something so vile and disgusting.

He was sending a message, claiming you like you were a territory that he owned. “You can talk about her all you want.” His tone was dismissive, but the lingering threat remained evident. “But have it at the back of your mind she’s my bitch and I hate sharing.”

He disappeared into the room, leaving his friends completely speechless. No one said anything, trying processed what just happened until Hanma broke the ice.

“Mitsuya, you gonna tell him off?”

Takashi felt sick to his stomach.

special thanks to: @honeybleed @manjibunny @reiners-milkbiddies @izanaki707 @rukiaslvr @ilovetwodmen @bbykoo-7 @tenjikusstuff4 @cockonoi @koffeenoe2 @kodzukein @lostsomewhereinthegarden @cashout-princess @aliyxh-o @kay-bear200 @iluv-ace @vixensbrainrotts @missgab @urmomsksk @sweeytheart @charcoal-xl @uradveragewhore @wcayaw @blueberry3muffin @haikyuusboringassmanager

monica's notes: thank you guys for reading this chapter! i hope you enjoy it and show your continual support by reblogging and commenting! it means a lot to me and motivates me to write faster. i'll be taking any questions you have and if you want to know what parts didn't make it into the final cut you can send me an ask.

Bets & Bargains Masterlist

Series Summary: Bradley Bradshaw was not one to put all of his free time into a relationship, and that is the exact reason his girlfriend, Briana, broke up with him. Despite things being pretty casual between them, he decides he wants her back and this results in him coming up with an idea that not only breaks your heart, but his own.

Warnings: fratboy bradley, college au, alcohol consumption, weed usage, drugs, swearing, insecurity, self-deprecating thoughts, bets, hints of bradley having anger issues, unwanted touching, more as the series goes on

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Prologue

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

More to come probably

blank canvas. (2)

after offering a painful ultimatum to finally be enough for him, things ultimately get worse as he decides between keeping you or losing you as the only resolution.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader

genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract

tags/warnings. strong language, defloration (kinda), explicit smut, undertones of manipulation and gaslighting, toxic relationship, undertones of cheating

notes. 11.2k wc! thanks for the love on bc1, i didn't expect it to gain traction at all but tyty. last part will come soon, but that will be the final chapter to this mini-series.

part 1 | part 3

The ride back home was uncomfortable. 

It wasn’t because you had promised to give yourself to him that night, but rather because his uncharacteristic silence was not what you had expected after delivering your ultimatum. You already proposed a wonderful solution to his needs, so why was he acting like you were the one being ridiculous? This was why you hated it whenever Sukuna chose silence over open communication, as it left you a hard time guessing about what was running through his mind. His expression didn’t offer any clues either, because he did pretty well at concealing his emotions behind a facade of indifference.

When you said you would do it with him, you meant it. But what did he think of it? 

The sharp wind cut through your skin, the roar of his motorbike deafening your ears as your boyfriend accelerated his vehicle upon entering the tunnel. The vibrant yellow lights offered a cinematic view, tempting you to imagine yourself embracing the wind with open arms, though you knew better than to do so. Instead, you held onto him tightly, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning forward as he sped through the empty lane.

It was nearing midnight, and the sparse traffic allowed Sukuna to indulge in one of his habits: riding his bike in the late hours of the night through this particular tunnel and onto the highway. You knew this ritual helped him clear his mind since it offered a rush of danger that sharpened his focus on the road. His choice to take this route tonight also only confirmed to you that he was grappling with internal thoughts. The last time he rode this fast was when your parents made you choose between them and him, slapping it in his face that he was and would never be welcomed in your family. 

To be honest, it frightened you. The speed at which he was riding was dangerous for both of you. Moreover, his bike was a YZF-R1, although street-legal, it was still a high-performance sport bike more suited for the track. It required agile and precise handling with its 1000cc engine. Yet, no other vehicle seemed more fitting for Sukuna than this. 

Whatever was on his mind, he didn’t care to let you know. You two didn’t really speak throughout the ride while you clung to him like a backpack, praying in your head that you two wouldn’t get into an accident. Thankfully enough, he did safely take you home as you arrived at your shared apartment at exactly midnight. 

“Please don’t ride like that again,” you muttered as he helped you out of his motorbike. “You could’ve gotten us killed.” 

His fingers then reached to unclasp your helmet, pulling it up to reveal your face. “Well, we’re still alive.” 

You looked at his face despite his best effort to avoid yours, standing centimeters apart while he switched off the engine. He didn’t return your gaze as though he was drowned by guilt. Should you speak at this? Or should you let him do it first? 

“Baby.” After a minute or so, it was your boyfriend who sighed and finally gave in, pulling you close and resting his forehead against yours. He kept his eyes closed even when he was cupping your cheeks. “You don’t have to do this.” 

Yes, you certainly shouldn’t. You didn’t have to do things unwillingly, but that wouldn’t change the fact that this on-going issue was putting a strain on your relationship and this would be your last shot at trying to salvage it. And you couldn’t have him looking for sensual gratification from anyone else other than you, so what other option did you have, really? 

“I want to do it.” 

“Not if you’re forcing yourself like this.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Who said I’m forcing myself?”

“Your face tells me you are,” replied he, staring at your face in defeat. “So, let’s not—”

“What, and let this issue haunt us over and over?” You smiled bitterly, shaking your head adamantly. “This has to be done. I need to experience it so I’ll finally understand.”

Understand what? His face almost spelled out those words, but he chose not to say anything of the sort and instead leaned in to kiss your forehead. “Alright. I’ll make it memorable.” 

— —

Easier said than done, of course. You kept overthinking about whether your performance would be satisfactory to him given that you didn’t have enough experience to learn anything at all, aside from the make out sessions that you did once in a blue moon. Around thirty minutes of your time was spent hyperanalyzing your situation in the shower, while the other half of it was spent doing a little more than your nightly routines. Since Sukuna liked powdery scents, you placed a good effort in applying lavender-scented oil and perfume on every inch of your body. You also shaved any unwanted hair, especially on all the intimate places you knew he would be seeing. And by the time you were done, you stepped out of the bathroom blooming like a fresh flower, wrapped in nothing but a thin towel that hugged your womanly figure. 

It didn’t feel right at all. It didn’t feel good knowing that you were preparing yourself like that, when these things should only happen on the first night after your wedding. It didn’t feel great that you were going to lose your virginity to a man who had not even proposed to you. This wasn’t even your honeymoon, but you had to pretend like it was. 

Did Sukuna feel the same? 

He wasn’t lying in bed when you walked out of the bathroom. Instead, he had just returned from outside—shirtless, wearing his favorite gray sweatpants, and holding a box of condoms and a tube of lube in his hand. It was clear he had made a quick visit to the convenience store nearby and got the essentials for your first night.

Immediately, he eyed your towel-wrapped body with restrained lust, clearing his throat as he walked towards the nightstand. “You look nice.” 

Really? Did he really have to make this more awkward than it already was? 

“Thank you,” was all you could softly reply. It was funny how he pretended to be busy placing the box and tube above the bedside table instead of lunging at you like a desperate man. But because you wanted to get this over with, you were the one who approached him from behind, wrapping your arms around his waist, and touching the firmness of his abs. For someone who had zero experience, you were definitely trying hard enough and that should please him. “You have to help me out here, my love. Guide me.” 

When Sukuna turned around, your heart started racing. Of excitement? Maybe. Of anxiety? Perhaps. He made it better though when he finally caved in and looked straight into your eyes, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear before lifting your chin with his hand. “You smell extra nice, too,” he added, leaning close enough that you could feel his warm breath fanning your face. 

You were feeling it now. The equal lust. The carnal desire. The feeling of his sweet kisses, which he made true as soon as he crashed his lips onto yours. His kisses usually ranged from tender to rough, but this time, it was an altogether different type of kiss. It was passionate and demonstrative, as if showing you exactly what he had been wanting to do to you the first time you got together. This must be the result of being celibate in over a year. He was clearly a man deprived of sexual pleasure, and you were responsible for it. You actually turned him into a monk. 

Now, he wasn’t holding anything back anymore. With his hand on your nape, he deepened the kiss to the point where you could feel his tongue exploring your mouth. You followed whatever he was doing like a good girl, like a very good girl, as he completely devoured your mouth with his. It didn’t take long for him to advance his kisses in other places too, being your jawline his next target, and then your neck as he feathered kisses around the soft flesh, leaving marks that would need a few days to be concealed. 

Because his arms were tight around your waist, yours were locked around his neck. Where else should you be putting them? What does the girl usually do in this situation? You tried not to think much of it and listened to your own body while your boyfriend was sucking the skin around your collarbone. At first, your hand traced his toned chest, then it moved southwards to feel his abs, and further down to his…

“Y-You’re hard.” Your eyes widened as you felt his growing erection behind the fabric of his sweatpants. It wasn’t your first time seeing his boner, but it was the first time you touched it with your own hand. It was the first time you had your palm stroking his length, swallowing hard as you realized just how hard and thick he was. 

“It wants to be inside you,” he whispered through your mouth, kissing you back again, “so bad, baby.” 

Gosh. Your knees felt weak and you two hadn’t even really started yet. How much more when he starts putting that thing of his inside you? You were breathing hard, trying to catch air as your boyfriend continued to lap his tongue with yours, guiding your hand to continue fondling his wood while it grew bigger the more stimulated it got. By letting you touch his hardened crotch together with his own, you realized that you had just unlocked a newfound fetish of yours. “D-Do you… do you think about doing it with me often?”

He bit your lower lip before pulling away, animalistic eyes sending you into an orbit of pleasure. “Do you mean if I touch myself to the thought of you a lot?” he teased, chuckling darkly at the obvious heat on your cheeks. You couldn’t help but feel excited at how vulgar he could be with his words. “I do jack off a lot, angel. And it’s always you in my mind.” 

You didn’t even have the time to melt from his words, because before you knew it, he was already peeling the towel off your body to reveal your completely naked figure. Obviously, your first reaction was to get shy—with your heated cheeks, your inability to look him in the eyes, your little efforts in covering your breasts and crotch, but he made sure to pull your hands away while keeping his eyes on you. “…Don’t stare.” 

Sukuna, however, didn’t listen. His dark eyes scanned every curve of your body, particularly around your chest area before he sighed and threw his head back. “Fuck,” he cussed under his breath. “You’re so fucking sexy. I can’t believe no other punk has seen you like this.” 

Your confidence grew little by little because of his praises. “But isn’t that a good thing?” 

“For sure.” He almost laughed at his own words, more so in disbelief, before he reached out to touch your bosom. “No one can touch you like this, either, baby.” 

“That’s—”

“Hmm?” Your boyfriend smirked at your reaction. While his other hand went to squeeze your breast, the other traveled to your bum, squeezing the cheek with equal fervor. “Can I have a taste of you, baby?”

He fondled your breasts with both hands now, massaging the rounded mass like they were his property. You had to admit to yourself that the feeling of being touched actually transcended your expectations. Or maybe it was only because of how erotic it was, but you couldn’t deny how turned on you were as his veiny, manly hands cupped your bosom. 

And as soon as you nodded and permitted him to ‘taste’ you, he took no time in gently pushing you down the mattress, allowing you to lay at a comfortable position under him and his wanton stare. Taste you? He was more like eating you, when he pinned you against the mattress and sucked the skin on your chest. At first, his tongue rolled along your cleavage, inching closer and closer to your right breast while he had his hand squeezing the left. Your body naturally gravitated towards him as you arched your back so he could have better access to your chest. Not only your chest, but also your crotch as he started grinding his clothed manhood in between your folds. 

“Mm…”

Sukuna’s mouth was on your breast now, suckling on your flesh and playing his tongue around your nipple. You couldn’t tell if it was pleasurable or painful because his tongue felt ticklish on your skin, but the suction definitely was an entirely different feeling. Both weren’t bad, anyway. They were just new to you. But even if they were foreign, you were curious and all the more interested, studying every little thing he was doing with your body and trying to make mental notes out of it. 

Maybe you should have watched porn. That way, you could have been more aware of the step-by-step process of having sex. Who knew there were steps to follow at all? You didn’t think that foreplay could draw this much delay in your session because all you thought was that he was going to insert his cock straight inside you as soon as he saw you naked. 

With all the touching, fondling, and kissing… what were you supposed to do? He was doing all the work here. 

“Baby,” you spoke softly, staring at the ceiling, “C-Can I… touch you?” 

Instead of pulling away, his mouth latched onto your left boob, giving it the same attention before moving south. “Not yet.” 

When he said that, you didn’t expect his hand to land on your crotch. Your heart was thumping at an irregular rhythm as you felt his fingers moving in circles around your bud, playing with your clit before spreading your folds apart. “Nghh—!” you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, eyes widening at the sound of your voice, but your boyfriend shushed you by placing a peck on your lips before spreading your legs into a V. 

“You’re so wet,” he said, pointing out the obvious as he positioned himself in between your legs, spreading your labia to reveal your entrance. Something about the situation made you increasingly self-conscious, but his undeniably hungry gaze kept you from covering your most sensitive area. It seemed like he was enjoying the sight of your pussy, especially with how wet and ‘untouched’ it was. “Your pussy’s so pretty, baby,” he mumbled, lowering his face closer to the area, “Can’t wait to put my dick inside it.” 

You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue in between your folds. No, you couldn’t even think straight after he started teasing your vagina, alternating between flicking his tongue around your bud to french kissing your entrance. His tongue was so deep in your cavern that you were raising your hips involuntarily, going insane from the pleasure it sent your body. Your hands even gripped the sheets and your back arched into a C as you held back from moaning like a wild animal. At some point, the slurping sounds and the feeling of his mouth kissing your vagina had your legs shaking. 

Though, you could ask yourself: what turned you on the most? Was it him actually eating your pussy or just the idea of him doing it? 

And just when you thought he was done, he replaced his mouth by inserting a finger inside your cunt, garnering a much louder whimper out of you. “B-Baby!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, eyes locked with yours as he slowly moved his middle finger in and out. “It’s so tight.” 

“It hurts…” You nodded, feeling his finger moving in circles inside your cunt as though he was trying to get a feel of your walls, measuring the tightness and such. 

He kissed you for a good minute. “Relax, angel. Don’t clench too much.” 

Clench? You didn’t even know you were doing such a thing. “How to…?” 

“Just relax.” Sukuna placed a hand on your abdomen, pressing it down while he was inserting yet another finger inside of you. “This’ll help you prepare so it won’t hurt as much later.” 

Now, you were goddamn nervous. What did he mean it wouldn’t hurt as much? Because you were overthinking the pain of having him his actual cock inside of you. If you couldn’t even bear having his two fingers inside you, how much more with his clearly thick shaft? It was ridiculous to feel both anxious and yet aroused at the same time. Anxious, because you knew he could rip you open. Aroused, because his fingers were currently doing a great job at hitting your most sensitive spot. Whatever it was that he was reaching, it was certainly sending waves of ecstasy throughout your body. 

His fingers continued to move. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Around. When he pulled his digits out, he sucked the juices on them, tasting every drip of your essence from his fingers. “Sweet.”

Were you? You started to get curious at how he tasted, too. Sweet? Salty? Bitter? You seemed to be moving on autopilot when you pulled yourself up and sat in bed on your knees. “Your turn?” 

You asked the question as if you knew what you were doing, which was why Sukuna found it adorable and humorous at the same time. He did help you pull down the sweatpants that had been covering his erection for what felt like eternity, only to reveal a monstrous size that sprung out of the garment. 

Holy fuck was all you could say. 

He stood at the edge of the bed, a devilish smirk displayed on his saintly face as he saw the length of his cock compared to your face. You obviously hadn’t seen many cocks in your lifetime to be able to compare his size, but in your eyes, he was definitely big. He was girthy. He was lengthy. He was veiny. Meaty. 

“Wanna suck it for me, baby?” he encouraged, pumping his shaft while looking at you. Fuck. “Open your mouth.” 

You did as told, wrapping a hand at the base of his length while placing his tip on your mouth. You pressed your tongue flat on the surface of his tip, rolling your tongue around the head as if it were a lollipop. Was that what you were supposed to do?

“Eyes on me.” His voice deepened an octave. And it was also raspier. 

Why did he want you to look up at him? It was already embarrassing. 

“I said, eyes on me, angel.” He grabbed your chin and forced you to lock eyes with his darkened ones. Damn. No wonder girls were desperate to see him in his shop every single day. This was probably what they had been daydreaming about. “Suck my cock.” 

In your head, you became a slut. In reality, you were still a shy, inexperienced virgin who didn’t know what to do. You relied on his instructions and looked at his expressions to know if you were doing a good job and to see what he liked and didn’t like. He definitely liked it when you sucked the head, liked it even more when you started to let him go deeper in your mouth, and surely liked it a hell lot better when you gagged after his cock hit the back of your throat. But in spite of the string of saliva that left your mouth after gagging from his cock, his arousal only grew harder, this time holding your hair in his fist as he began thrusting his hip forward. You were bobbing your head at a rhythm that satisfied him, feeling the stretch on your scalp as he tightened his grip on your hair. 

“Tighten your mouth around it,” he instructed, fucking your mouth senselessly like hitting your throat was driving him nuts. Your eyes were already filling up with tears because of your urge to gag again, but you didn’t think it would be a good idea to stop now while he was just starting to pleasure himself. 

This was the first time in your life to give someone a blowjob, and you weren’t sure what to make of that experience. It personally didn’t give you pleasure, but you liked hearing his desperate moans. You liked hearing him curse and get vulgar with his words. You liked seeing him get rough. His taste, on the other hand, was somewhat a different experience. Since you were only sucking his flesh, it was a tad bit salty at first contact but didn’t taste anything much after tongue got used to the skin around his shaft. Perhaps his cum would have a stronger flavor, though it looked like he had no plans in releasing his load into your mouth as he pulled his member out. 

“Fuck it,” he grunted, gently pushing you back and spreading your legs wide open again, “I wanna feel your pussy so bad. Can I fuck you raw, babe?” 

All those condoms, and he wanted to have you raw? 

“But… I don’t wanna get pregnant.” 

His face was full of assurance, shaking his head and denying any chance of knocking you up. “You won’t be. I’ll pull out, I just… I have to feel you raw the first time. I have to.” 

“Okay…” 

You were nervous as hell. You had butterflies in your stomach, your heart pounding in your chest like a drumbeat you couldn’t silence. You had imagined this moment countless times, but now that it was here, the reality of it was too overwhelming. Your mind yet again raced with a whirlwind of doubts and insecurities, and every nerve on your body seemed to be on high alert while you watched him getting occupied with rubbing his entire length with lube, ensuring a smooth entrance inside you. 

He was nervous too, right? You couldn’t be the only one. You couldn’t be. 

You just wanted everything to be perfect. To show him how much you cared. To feel that you were enough. But the thought was paralyzing. Tonight was more than just physical intimacy; it was a step forward in your relationship, a moment of connection you wanted so badly to cherish. This first intimate encounter should be filled with love, respect, and mutual understanding. 

But what if after this, he’d come to realize that you weren’t the one? What if he’d get disappointed and tell you that you weren’t worth it? What if he’d leave you for someone else who could pleasure him better? What if, after you had given yourself to him, no one else would ever appreciate you anymore? 

You wanted this, didn’t you? You wanted to feel the heat of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, the intimacy of your connection. You wanted to explore this uncharted territory with him, to dive headfirst into the unknown and discover what lay on the other side. But were you really ready for this? Did you truly want this? Would it be everything you had imagined, or would you regret losing your virginity to him?

The fear of inadequacy gnawed at your confidence as Sukuna positioned himself back in between you, his tip rubbing at your slit a couple times before he finally sunk it into your entrance. 

“Haaa—!” 

“Shh. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

“N-No, I—!”

It felt like your walls were being stretched so painfully, like your flesh was being torn open in the most agonizing way. This was not the kind of pain you pictured out when he put his member inside. Sukuna even tried to grab hold of your hips to keep you steady, but you were withdrawing your hips back, wanting nothing but for him to remove his cock. 

“It hurts… It hurts… please, stop. Please!” 

“Baby, I’m trying to be gentle—”

“I SAID STOP!” 

Both of your eyes widened at the same time, and that was the only time you two were ever in sync. He was clearly shocked by your outburst, while you yourself were surprised at how you raised your voice at him. Neither of you expected that situation. As a result, he did pull away and completely withdrew himself from you. 

Frustration was evident on his visage and he couldn’t even hide it anymore. “Fuck this,” he spat in exasperation, taking a deep breath as he reached to slip his sweatpants back on. “I knew it.” 

“No, I…” You swallowed. “It just… You kinda forced it, I wasn’t ready.” 

“I forced it, really? I forced you?” His laugh was out of complete disbelief. “I never forced you into anything, angel. I’ve asked you since the beginning if this is really what you want.” He took a pause, a very uncomfortable one, before he went on murmuring, “It was just my tip and you’re overreacting like this. I’m not even halfway in.”

His agitation had finally awakened you to your senses, realizing that you did end up doing what you were scared of doing. You ruined the moment. You were so caught up in your bubble of negative thoughts that you had once again failed to fulfill what you were supposed to do. No wonder he was aggravated, now sitting away from you and wearing his clothes as if telling you that he was done. Done being blue balled by his own girlfriend. Done expecting something he was never really bound to have. 

You reached out to touch his arm. “Baby, I’m sorry… I just got scared, but we can still—”

“Still do it?” he continued your sentence by ironically cutting you off, “No, the fuck, I won’t. I’m not in the mood anymore.” 

His reaction brought tears to your eyes, because the way he was acting stung your fragile heart. You didn’t mean to ruin anything. More importantly, you didn’t wish for everything to just turn out like this. “I-I’m sorry. Let me try again, please.” 

The weakness of your voice seemed to have softened him, becoming calmer and more composed after a few minutes of contemplation, but he still held his ground when he massaged his temple and sighed. “Let’s just not push it, Y/N.” He looked at your eyes, with hurt and rejection reflecting on them. “Even if you say you wanna do it, you think I can’t see it in your face that you’re not really into it? You’re never ready for me and maybe it’s my fault, maybe there’s something about me that you’re so scared of. Maybe it’s because you don’t feel secure with me, maybe you wanna save yourself for someone better, someone who can give you a brighter future—”

“That’s not true!” You shook your head desperately, your eyes blurring from the pool of tears while you clung to his arm. Where was all this coming from? It sounded like he had been harboring those feelings for so long. “That’s not true. What are you even saying?” 

“I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m just…” Trying to give a reason why you won’t give it to me. That must be what he had wanted to say. “Look, I don’t wanna pressure you into this bullshit anymore. I don’t wanna make it look like I’m begging for your affection like this. Intimacy should happen normally for couples, and if we can’t have that, then we can’t. That’s it.” 

Why did he sound like he was giving up? 

You tried to keep your emotions at bay while listening to him battling with his internal thoughts. “I understand I disappointed you tonight, but…”

He was adamant at shaking his head, distancing himself from you by getting up from the bed. “No, you got nothin’ to apologize for. It’s your body and your choice. I’d never force you into anything.” 

Then… then…

“I just think it’s not the perfect time,” he continued, shooting you a glance before looking away. Each step he took added another crack on your fragile heart. “From now on, I’m never gonna initiate anything intimate nor will I expect anything from you, aight? I’m over it.”

Alone in your vulnerability, you could feel the cold air hugging your naked body as you watched him walk towards the door, leaving you in the dark both literally and figuratively. “Where a-are you going? Come on… Please.” 

He no longer cared to turn around. He no longer bothered to comfort you as he walked away, muttering, “Just gonna go for a ride. Don’t wait on me.” 

— —

Nearly three weeks had passed since that night and you would be lying if you said everything was okay. 

No, everything was not okay. You could feel the distance growing each day even when you two still did everything together. Your normal routines didn’t feel normal anymore because he was acting too detached ever since he told you that he wouldn’t initiate anything intimate ever again. And to be honest? It hurt. A whole fucking lot. Hearing your partner say that they would never wish to do anything intimate with you was probably the worst way to experience heartbreak. Because he was truthful with it, and he showed it very openly. 

Now, he’d lock the door whenever he would take showers. He’d spent most of his time outside riding his bike until midnight. He stopped texting you sweet messages while on tattoo shop duty. He seldomly joined you to eat breakfast and dinner together. His back would face you whenever you two slept in bed. His eyes avoided you even when you walked around in underwear. His hand wouldn’t touch you even when you were centimeters close to him. There were no kisses exchanged either, unless obliged to do so when leaving the house. No hugs. No hair-stroking, hand-holding sweetness ever shared. You were simply cohabiting in your shared apartment like strangers who had barely even said I love you’s. 

“Man, that’s rough,” remarked Suguru Getou, your cousin and the barista, as he tidied up the counter behind the elevated bar. Having just served his friend an Americano, he listened intently as you vented about your situation with Sukuna. “I’ll be honest with you, Y/N. It’s not looking good for you.”

You knew that. You just refused to acknowledge it. “I mean, all couples fight.” 

Suguru shook his head, however. “You two aren’t even fighting. Dude just gave up and started detaching himself from you. If that’s not a sign already, then I don’t know what is.” 

“What sign?” you asked, hiding the obvious worry in your voice. You need not be dense about his words, but you wanted to have some kind of hope to grasp on. 

“Sign that he’s falling out of love?” he continued. 

And somehow, his white-haired friend thought it would be okay to chime in. “More like a sign that the tool's not interested anymore and is about to dump her.”

Your face felt hot and in the most terrible way. “Sorry, what was your name again?” you asked, your tone dripping with sarcasm. You hadn’t expected the guy to suddenly chime in, considering he had been quietly typing on his laptop just moments before. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion, so don’t go listening to somebody else’s business when you’re not part of the conversation.”

“Jeez,” said the albino guy, grinning at your cousin as if amused by your barrage of a response. “She’s a yapper, too. I thought she was supposed to be this sweet and innocent type, Suguru?”

“Not always.” Suguru chuckled at his friend before turning to you, apologetic eyes now attempting to soothe your nerves. “Sorry ‘bout that, Y/N. Satoru just likes to tease people. Don’t mind him.”  

You kept a straight face. “Well, then maybe tell your friend to keep his nose out of conversations he’s not invited to.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Satoru gave you a playful salute before extending his hand towards you. “Look, I didn’t mean to overhear, but I actually sympathize with you. If it were me, I’d never do that to you, baby.”

Oh, God. You were so bad at this. Was he flirting with you or was he simply playful like this? 

Nevertheless, you rolled your eyes and ignored the hand he offered, essentially brushing off his advances. “I don’t need sympathy. All I’m here for is to talk to my cousin to try and have his advice on the matter,” you emphasized pointedly, making it clear to Satoru that he was the last person you wanted advice from. “I don’t need a stranger listening to my personal life.” 

“Doesn’t hurt to receive advice from another guy,” countered Satoru, shrugging. “Right, Suguru? I mean, we’re both guys. We can give you some insight into how men think.” 

You felt the urge to bury your face in your hands. It was clearly a mistake going there and putting yourself in that situation, and now having two guys aware of your sex life with your boyfriend. That alone was so wrong on many levels. But could it be helped? Suguru was your closest cousin, the only one who didn’t turn his back on you after you left your parents’ home. He was working at a cafe three blocks away from your flower shop and you happened to be delivering a batch of fresh floral decorations for their cafe. You obviously found it a good opportunity to open up to him about your struggling relationship and hoped he could offer some male perspective on Sukuna’s behavior. You just hadn’t anticipated his friend eavesdropping on the conversation the entire time.

Well, that should have been expected anyway, since only the three of you were in that cafe on a lazy Wednesday afternoon. 

“I don’t kiss and tell, by the way.” Satoru was beaming as he gave you that assurance and you couldn’t help but admit that the man had some charm in him. He was attractive, no doubt about it. He was also tall, toned, and seemingly well off based on the way he dressed. He had a casual yet preppy style, something you would normally see from guys who went to private school. 

“Do you work?” you asked out of sheer curiosity. “You don’t seem like the type.” 

“Oh, now she’s interested.” Satoru seemed to have found your sudden interest in him humorous. “I’m finishing my MBA, miss. Thank you for asking.”

“He’s a privileged rich kid with generational wealth and a family business,” Suguru remarked, playfully gesturing a cutting motion across his neck. “Definitely not your type, huh, Y/N?”

“Why, what’s her type?” The white-haired man looked intrigued, pulling his stool closer. He had that stupid grin on his face as though the topic just sparked his curiosity. “What’s her boyfriend like?”

Suguru, who wanted to play along, jokingly hummed in deep thought. “He’s got tattoos, likes to tattoo other people, is a college dropout, rides a big bike, smokes and drinks, listens to heavy metal, was probably a delinquent and a juvie alumni—”

“Excuse you, he’s never been in a juvenile detention center,” you defended your man, feeling like your cousin’s categorization of Sukuna was becoming a little too derogatory and you had to correct him for that, “and he’s a good man. He’s sweet and caring, he’s passionate, and he loves me sincerely.” 

“Sincerely, not?” Satoru quipped, earning your glare in return. He immediately raised his hands in surrender. “I'm just joking. If you believe he’s all that, that’s your choice. I don’t judge booktok girls who romanticize typical bad boys.”

You rolled your eyes at his audacity. Each word that left his mouth seemed to stoke the flames of your irritation. “You’re so offensive, I’ll have you know that.” 

The white-haired guy smugly took a sip from his coffee. “At least I don’t make girls feel guilty for not having sex with me.” 

“Oooh.” Suguru was clearly enjoying the show, unaware that you were one step closer from smacking his friend across the face. “Touché. He kinda has a point, Y/N.” 

“Be serious,” you warned. 

To which he agreed to. “Okay, I am being serious now,” he said, abandoning his playful stance to lean in on a more solemn posture against the counter, “If you think Sukuna makes you feel guilty for not doing it with him, then shouldn’t that speak for the kind of relationship you two have? He wants something you can’t give. His reaction tells you everything you need to know about him.” 

You tried to absorb his words with a better understanding and without any bias. “Isn’t his reaction normal? He’s a man, too. I understand his needs and I made him feel somewhat rejected.”

“It’s all about respect, Y/N,” answered Suguru, “If he’s a decent man, he wouldn’t make you feel that way. No mixed signals, no guilt tripping, no nothing. If you can’t do it, then don’t.” 

“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t feel the same if your girlfriend keeps rejecting sex with you?” 

Suguru smirked. “I never said I’m a decent man, either. All I’m saying is if what you want isn’t exactly aligned to what he wants, then maybe it’s best you break it off with him because this shit won’t get you anywhere, Y/N. Trust me. He’s gonna dump you before you know it. I mean, it’s one thing to pretend he’s all fine with it, and it’s another to distance himself from you like he’s silently protesting.” 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Satoru joined in once again. “It’s impossible for a guy like that to be in a relationship for so long and not have any pussy. We think of sex 24/7, some of us are just better at restraining ourselves than others. He’s putting up with it now, but it’s only a matter of time he gets sick and tired of waiting. You do realize he can get any girl he wants, anytime he wants, right?” 

Although you were still uncomfortable at Satoru casually chiming in on the conversation, it was true when they said they could give you the exact male perspective you needed to hear. This allowed you to go deeper into Sukuna’s psyche and understand why he was acting that way. You just didn’t know how to save the connection you have with your boyfriend when both your cousin and his friend were describing all the red flags on Sukuna’s behavior. 

“I don’t know,” you spoke in a tone of defeat. “I kinda understand where he’s coming from, so I can’t just leave him for it. I love him.”

Satoru looked at your cousin like you couldn’t be saved. “She’s in too deep.” 

“Yeah, gaslighted as fuck.” Suguru was shaking his head in disappointment. 

The taller man chuckled and brought up a ridiculous offer to lighten the situation up. “Honestly, Y/N. I know we just met and all, but if you ever need someone to teach you how to do good in bed, just hit me up. He’ll never know.” 

“Shut up,” you shot back at Satoru, eyes rolling at his remark. 

“You’re out here feeling bad for that guy when he could be fucking his clients at the tattoo shop.”

You argued. “No, he’s not—”

“Are you sure he isn’t?” 

It wasn’t Suguru nor Satoru who posed that question; it was Yuki Tsukumo, the café’s manager and Suguru's respected senior. She was in a relationship with one of your boyfriend’s stepbrothers, Choso, and was also a fellow biker, which allowed her to cross paths with Sukuna in their community. Despite this connection, she was never particularly close to him. In fact, Yuki didn’t personally get along with Sukuna and she was very vocal about it. She was, however, a regular client of yours and ordered floral arrangements from your shop on a weekly basis.

It had been awhile since you last saw her, and didn’t expect that the first greeting you would give her was a question. “Yuki, what do you mean?” 

Great. Now, three people know about your relationship quagmires. 

She was placing her helmet at the counter and sitting on a stool before answering you, “I really think you should talk to him about it, Y/N.” 

No, no. Why did you suddenly feel a pang of anxiety out of nowhere? Something about the sympathy in Yuki’s eyes felt unsettling, and it sent a wave of fear through you. She definitely knew something. What was Sukuna doing behind your back?

“Can you please just tell me?” 

Her gaze studied your face intently, as if deliberating on the right thing to do. “Well... I spotted him riding with a girl the other night. Initially, I thought it might be you, but last night, I saw them together again. I recognized her... because it was his ex. I think he’s been giving her rides home lately.” 

Amidst the quiet of the room, your heart felt like it was breaking in two. The sudden revelation sent you into an abyss of pain.

“You might wanna visit his tattoo shop later.” Yuki encouraged me with a comforting smile. “It may be best to confront him about it.”

— —

Sukuna wasn’t sure how to act around you anymore. It wasn’t like he was purposely avoiding you, but he just didn’t feel comfortable acting like everything was fine and dandy. Because if he was damn honest, the sexual frustration was fucking with his head. So much so to the point where he started questioning himself if he should still put up with a relationship like this. 

First of all, there were pros and cons involved. He had to consider that it was a special connection filled with special memories, too. 

If he was talking about the pros, he knew he would have a loving lifetime partner with you. You were beautiful, kind, and pure. You inspired him and motivated him to be better. You were unmaterialistic and happy with the littlest things. You gave his dominant side the urge to be a better man, like he was made to protect and provide for you. You became his muse; a blank canvas that was all for him to paint on. A canvas that no one had ever touched. Or, in your world, a white lily that was associated with chastity and virtue. 

But then, there were also cons, and the foremost of it being you were too conservative for your own good. You grew up in a strict environment with uptight parents who wanted to control your life. He could never voice it out, but he really hated that you were square like your parents sometimes. You were too traditional and afraid to explore new experiences, oftentimes policing him for living his life as free as he wanted it to be. The ‘opposites attract’ thing did seem to work in your relationship at first, with your differences being exciting for each other, but as time went by, it became clearer to him that you two were too different to actually be in sync together. 

Hence why your relationship became rigid and suffocating, forcing him to take a breather by distancing himself from you for some time. He did this for your benefit, because he had to clear his head before risking losing you for good. He didn’t want to jeopardize a relationship that he knew meant the world to him. Perhaps this was just a phase, a challenging period following the honeymoon phase, where all your differences seemed to become more pronounced.

But to repeatedly make him look forward to sharing intimacy with you, only for you to back out at the very last minute? Man, was that so frustrating. 

It didn’t help that it was destiny itself that seemed to be stirring the pot. Because while you two were going through a rough time in your relationship, the irony presented itself outside of Sukuna’s tattoo shop late at night just as he was about to close. 

“Ryo?” A tall woman with athletic build, long dark hair, and beautiful doe eyes came into view with a wide smile on her face. 

His ex-girlfriend of three years. 

Sukuna held the door for her albeit the confusion in his eyes. “Yorozu?” 

The only difference he noticed was that she had become a lot sexier, with the curves on her body more womanly than ever. It was obvious that she was active in the gym to achieve such a fit physique. But other than that, her facial features were the same. Her heart eyes still shone bright at the mere sight of him, as if they carried stars and galaxies. 

“I think I came too late,” said Yorozu, smiling in disappointment, “I should probably just return tomorrow.” 

“No, you’re good.” Sukuna insisted on letting her enter his shop, closing the door as soon as she was inside. “What brought you here?” 

She stood confidently in front him, wearing nothing but a blank tank top and some loose white pants. “Funny story ‘cause I actually just moved to this city recently and I just found out you had a shop in this area.” 

Oh? That was interesting, indeed. Sukuna wondered how she even found his shop in that case, while he was leading her to the tattoo chair. “Are you here to get a tattoo or?” 

“Yeah, yeah I am.” She was sprinkling some charm in her grin. He knew her too well. “I think it’s amazing that I’m gonna get it from you again.”

While Yorozu was talking to him, he couldn’t help but ask: was it wrong for him to be in the same vicinity as his ex? Considering how jealous you could get, this was definitely wrong in your eyes. But as he wasn’t doing anything sketchy, he figured there was nothing wrong about what he was doing. Yorozu was technically a client and he couldn’t deny her his services since she was basically a friend of his, too. So, was he breaking any code here? 

“Well, only if you have time now, of course,” she added out of consideration, “It’s kinda late so I can always come back.” 

Sukuna shook his head and headed to get his book of tattoo art samples. “It’s fine. I got clients lined up all day tomorrow, so,” he said, placing the book on her lap, “You wanna check that or do you have a design in mind already?” 

Yorozu’s eyes fell on the tattoos marking Sukuna’s body, her gaze landing on every familiar inch as though she had seen them all the time before. It was true. She had seen more of him, actually. She had done more with his body, too. “I kinda wanna get a sleeve, but I want you to choose the design for me.” 

A tattoo sleeve? Damn. It was something he would never in a million years see from you, but for Yorozu, it was totally normal. She was as obsessed with ink as he was. And although she’s had a couple of tattoos in her body already, which were done by him, it would be her first time to get a full sleeve. 

“I get to choose, really?” Sukuna chuckled lightly. If he were to think of Yorozu’s traits, she was definitely a classic red rose. A seductress, alluring woman was how he saw her and the said flower would be a true-to-life representation of her personality. She was passionate when it came to loving someone, and was completely devoted to him back when they were together. The only reason they broke up was because they were too similar, as if she was his counterpart, and he saw fit to leave a relationship where they both constantly battled for dominance. Yorozu could get too aggressive on loving someone and he didn’t particularly like that. He made her understand why they weren’t working as a couple, and it took her some time, but she eventually accepted his decision. Now, you could say, they were somehow on good terms. “Alright, I’ll do your sleeve, but I’ll keep the design as a surprise.” 

Her eyes sparkled in excitement at the thought. “I’d love that!” 

“Since you want a sleeve, we’re gonna do some stencil application today.” Sukuna didn’t waste any more time in getting ready with his equipment, biting on the glove while wearing the other on his hand. “It’ll take fifteen to twenty hours to complete a sleeve, and each session could last two to six hours depending on your pain tolerance. My schedule’s actually full all day until next week, but you can come around the same time every night so I can finish yours.” 

“Yeah, I’m absolutely fine with that,” she enthused. For some reason, Yorozu was happy with the idea. The idea of coming to visit Sukuna every night in his shop. The idea that they get to be alone. The idea that they would be able to reconnect just like old times. Those were the things that Sukuna assumed was going through her head. 

And as he did start with his ‘client’, it was probably best to admit that the sexual tension was high. The room felt stuffy as the both of them remained there until midnight, with her sitting on the tattoo chair, and him doing her tattoo to her left. His eyes were intently focused on the intricate patterns he was doing on her arm, but also couldn’t avoid seeing the contours of her breasts since she was wearing such a thin tank top. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen them before. He’d seen every part of her body from her neck down to her toes. He’d put her in every position from missionary to doggy. Goddamn, he could even remember how warm she felt around his cock. Didn’t she like it when he came inside her? Or when he made her swallow every drop of his seed? 

Sukuna cleared his throat, shaking his vulgar thoughts away as he continued with Yorozu’s arm. He may not be cheating, but thinking back on those intimate experiences with someone else other than his girlfriend was definitely not morally right either. But what sexual experience could he reminisce about with you? That ridiculously embarrassing night you two had shouldn’t even be counted since he was trying so hard to forget about it. 

He cleared his throat. Again. For the third time. “What, uh, what’ve you been up to?” 

Yorozu, who had no clue about his thoughts, turned her face to look at him happily. “Not much, actually. The bar I worked at closed down, but I got myself a new job in this club as a full time hostess and part-time promoter. You should come by. Drinks on me.” 

By not exactly accepting or refusing, Sukuna decided to just smile it off. “That’s why you moved to this city?” 

“Yeah, I mean… obviously, the rent here is higher, but it’s closer to my job. I get paid decently, too.” 

“That’s nice.” He was just trying to make small talk at this point. “Do you know your way ‘round here? How are you gonna get home?” 

She considered her options. “Probably a bus or something?” 

Sukuna paused, contemplating the situation. “There's no bus here at midnight,” he remarked, concerned for the girl who would have to navigate her way home alone at such a late hour. She was new to the area and clearly still adjusting to the commuter lifestyle. Unlike her, he had a vehicle that could safely transport her home. There would be no harm in offering, right? “Look, I have a bike and I usually take midnight rides, anyway. I can drop you off on my way home.”

“Really?” Her voice echoed excitement in them. “I’d appreciate it, Ryo. Thanks so much.” 

Life was ironic, truly. He didn’t see this situation coming because he never expected that he would even come across Yorozu ever again. They didn’t have any contact prior, but he still saw her on social media whenever he (on very rare occasions) decided to check his accounts. He never had her blocked, either, which was why you knew about Yorozu after snooping through his phone and reading through some of his old messages with her. Sukuna used to tell you not to worry about her, and that she was just his ex, and that she had nothing on you—which were all true, of course, but it was funny to him now that the woman his girlfriend was most threatened by was back in his life. 

And she was riding at the backseat of his motorbike, her arms latching at nothing else but around his torso. She was seated at the seat reserved for you, wearing the helmet that was bought for you, and holding onto a man that was rightfully yours. It all didn’t feel right. 

But because Yorozu delighted in his habit of speeding on the highway, he had somehow forgotten about the guilt that was forming in his heart. 

**

“You still have your ex’s Instagram?” Your questioning eyes met his defensive ones as he joined you in the living room, finding his space on the couch next to you. “I read your dms. Why haven’t you blocked her?” 

Sukuna’s breath remained steady. “Only toxic people do that shit.” 

“But I’m not comfortable with it!” you nagged, letting him snatch his phone from your grasp. 

“Do you see me talking to her still?” he asked, trying to be as patient as he could be, “Baby, I don’t even talk to her. I don’t think she’s active there, either.” 

You crossed your arms. “Then, block her?” 

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“I’m being fair. You shouldn’t be keeping tabs with an ex.” 

“What are you—” Sukuna decided to cut his own sentence after realizing that the argument was plain stupid. “You know what, I’ll just delete my insta.” 

**

“How many times do you two do it?” you asked out of nowhere, sitting at the waiting area while he was closing his shop. “Your ex. How often do you have sex with her?” 

What kind of trap were you setting now? If he told you an honest answer, you would get mad. If he lied or even sugar coated it, you would also get mad. 

“Does it matter? Why do you keep asking questions about her and then get upset with me?” Sukuna’s frustration resonated in his sigh as he tidied the space where he tattooed his client a few minutes ago. “She’s an ex for a reason, so get over it.”

He was starting to get annoyed by your never-ending questions about his past experiences, but he knew you were simply coming from a place of no experience. You probably wanted to know what he liked in bed, what pleased him the most, what kept him from wanting more. Was that too much? No. Were you overdoing this entire thing? A little bit. 

“Why are you defensive?” you asked softly, still sitting on the couch as you watched him avoid your eyes. “You make me feel so insecure every time.” 

He scoffed, shaking his head as he turned around. “I don’t know, baby. If you’re feeling insecure, then do something about it.” 

**

“Thanks so much for the ride, Ryo.” 

Yorozu stood by her door, returning the helmet back to him while she kept her eyes locked on his. Her gaze was inviting, tempting him to give in and submit to his carnal desires. Any man would read her intentions the same way; Yorozu stared at him like that because she wanted to invite him to her place. She wanted him to spend the night and do unforgivable things. To remember the passionate exchange they once shared. 

But Sukuna wasn’t like that. No, he wasn’t a cheater. “I, uh, gotta get going.” 

“Oh…” Disappointment clouded Yorozu’s face. “Okay, then.” 

“See you tomorrow?” 

“...Alright.” 

“Okay.” 

“Wait!” Yorozu pulled his arm just as he was heading back to his motorbike. The sudden closeness in their proximity made his heart race fast. He knew what was coming. “I missed you, Ryo.” 

He knew what she was about to do next. 

And holy fuck did he guess right, as he was taken aback when Yorozu suddenly leaned in to press her lips onto his. Her soft, cherry lips moved desperately to taste his sweet kisses. 

But he didn’t return it. Instead, he immediately pushed her away. “Yorozu,” he spoke softly, “I have a girlfriend.” 

“You do?” She didn’t need to hide it. He could see the heartbreak on her face. 

“Yeah,” Sukuna confirmed, maintaining a more appropriate distance now. “We’ve been together for some time, and I live with her.”

Yorozu tried to maintain her facade of indifference, making it appear as though she was unfazed by his revelation. “That’s... That’s cool,” she said, “I’m sorry for, uh, the kiss.”

Sukuna nodded, “It’s fine. I should’ve told you sooner.”

“You’re alright,” she reassured him, “It's totally my fault. I hope she won’t be upset with you or something.”

Sukuna had no plans to tell you, knowing well the additional turmoil it would bring to your already strained relationship. However, he realized the importance of clarity in his intentions and the need to set boundaries. “We’re just friends. We’ll keep things civil. I’ll finish your tattoo in a couple more sessions, and then we’re done. Sounds fair?”

Yorozu nodded her head with a reluctant smile. “Fair enough.” 

— —

5 more days. Her sleeve required five more sessions, and days went by too fast for him to count. He had busied himself with his clients, while you had busied yourself with yours. He couldn’t even spend time with you because his shop took a chunk of his time from him, and even at home, things had become too awkward ever since your unspoken night. 

So, in some ways, Yorozu became his routine. She visited his shop for the past four nights and he had taken her home afterwards. She was in absolute love with her rose sleeve and they weren’t even complete yet. He still owed her one last session and told himself that it should also be the last time she should be around him. It wasn’t right and he didn’t want to create another source of argument with you. 

And in truth, he certainly felt a little guilty for spending more time with his ex than his own girlfriend. But did he purposely do it? No, it was fate that brought her to his door about a week ago. 

In spite of his stubbornness to admit his wrongdoing, he still ended up stopping by the flower market to get you a nice bouquet of white lilies. He knew you could make a prettier bouquet than that, but he thought it would be a perfect opportunity to surprise you with flowers that didn’t exactly come from you. Besides, he had some making up to do. 

Later that night, when he returned to your shared home, he found you sitting at the couch seemingly waiting for him to come home. The lights were dimmed and the television was turned off. For some reason, you were wearing outside clothes and had a somber expression on your face, too. That alone caused the loud thumping of his heart. 

“Hey,” he greeted, nonetheless, sitting next to you on the couch and kissing your cheek. “Everything okay, baby?” 

Your eyes carried sadness in them as you looked at him and searched for answers you couldn’t find. “Where were you?” 

Sukuna handed the bouquet over. “Got you flowers.” 

You didn’t accept them. Instead, every second seemed to torture you. “Where were you before that?” 

“In the shop…?” He didn’t know where to start, but he was definitely scared. “Why? Sorry I’ve been busy lately. I’ll make it up to you, angel.” 

“You close your shop at nine,” you pointed out, voice breaking in the middle of your sentence. “Why do you always come home at two in the morning?” 

Fuck. Fuck! What should he say? Should he make an excuse for it? Should he say he’d been checking on Yuuji after his shifts? Should he say he’d been riding to other cities to clear his mind? He didn’t fucking know what to say, especially not when you were clearly on the verge of bursting out. 

“Answer me!” you cried, finally releasing the bottle out in the open. The tears that welled in your eyes now streamed ceaselessly down your face. “You’re an asshole. I-I hate you! I fucking… you think I don’t know? You think I’m too stupid to know?!”

Sukuna calmly received the fists you had swung on his chest as he tried to grab ahold of your arms. “Baby, I’ll explain everything.” 

“No, damn y-you!” The tremor in your voice squeezed his heart in the most painful way because he hated seeing you breaking down in front of him and over him. This wasn’t the first time he had made you cry, but this was the first time he had seen you actually sob like this. “I-I gave myself to you! I left my p-parents for you! And this is what you do to me? You’re cheating on me with your ex?!” 

He was desperate to hold you, hug you, cage you in his arms. He wanted to take your pain away. Wipe your tears away. However, you didn’t allow him to touch even a strand on your hair as you kept on pushing him off. Sukuna felt like he was going to lose his mind. “Baby, listen to me please. It’s really not what you think—”

“I don’t care!” you spat, moving away to wipe the tears off your face. “I don’t fucking care! You sleeping with her or not doesn’t change a thing. Don’t you get it? I’ll never be enough for you!” Despite your loud voice, the cracks in her facade only revealed your longing for validation and acceptance, etching into every tear-stained moment you two had shared over the course of your relationship. He watched you, paralyzed by the sight of you breaking down, as you grabbed a luggage you had been hiding behind the couch as if you were ready to leave. “I’ll never be the person you want me to be and staying with you will always remind me of it!” 

“No, no, no… Let’s talk.” Sukuna had to suppress his own tears while he tried to reach out for you. “Baby, please. I don’t feel anything for her, or anyone. It’s just you. You are enough for me, baby. I’m sorry, please.” 

You, on the other hand, were adamant at your decision. “I can’t stand what you’re doing to me anymore. I don’t like how you make me feel about myself. I hate how you make me question my own choices!” Tears continued to flow, and your voice wavered, transitioning from anger to a more subdued, pained tone. “I hate… I hate that I love you so much, that I lost all my backbone just to make you happy.” 

“You don’t need to.” He was feeling more and more miserable now, his heart sore from all the emotions he had seen from you. “Y/N, you don’t need to. I’m sorry, I love you. I love you so fucking much.”  

…

…

…

“It’s over, Sukuna,” were the last words he could recall hearing before passing out drunk in his bed that afternoon. “We’re done.”

— —

It was your first heartbreak. Your first actual relationship. Your first everything. Surely, people shouldn’t expect you to move on easily, especially not when the subject of your heartache worked across the street from you. 

You were a mess. You had cried enough tears after you moved out of his apartment that night, screamed your heart out as you suffered from the pain of loneliness once more. You couldn’t even bear the thought of returning to your parents and hearing them say they told you so, because loving Sukuna was a choice you thought was good for you. 

In the end, he was just a poison without any antidote. A toxin without remedy. The most effective solution was to sever all ties to prevent further contamination.

But strangely enough, you hadn’t seen him in his shop ever since that night, either. The tattoo parlor remained closed for more than two weeks without any notice. While a small part of you worried for him, a bigger part of you cared for yourself. He no longer held any importance to your life, and you should let it remain that way. 

What you should focus on, instead, was living your life without any trace of him. A life of independence, away from the toxicity of a manipulative man who constantly made you doubt yourself and what you offered. As they say, you have to learn to love yourself first before you can fully learn to love others. 

And in your journey of knowing the truth of that saying, a certain white-haired man entered your floral shop on a somber Friday afternoon just as you were arranging preordered bouquets for multiple customers to pick up. 

“Hey,” you greeted the man, surprised at his sudden appearance at your shop. 

Satoru grinned as he approached you closer. “I’m here to pick up two bouquets.”

“Oh, it was your order?” Your eyes widened. Silly you. Of course, Suguru would order on his friend’s behalf. He wouldn’t even get his girlfriend some flowers, let alone his mother. So this being Satoru’s order made much more sense. “Okay, you got a bouquet of blush peonies and another bouquet of pink tulips, am I correct?”

He smiled handsomely, displaying his set of perfect white teeth while listening to you talk. “Correct.” 

“For your mom?” you asked before you made your way to pick up the bouquets, handing them to him carefully. 

His response came with a soft, affirmative hum. “Mhm. One for her,” he said, taking only the bouquet of tulips, “The other is for you.” 

Oh, no, no, definitely no. You had seen this before and it didn’t go well. 

“That’s lovely, but…” You offered a smile. “I’m not taking those peonies.” 

Satoru acted innocent, his vibrant blue eyes coruscating under the ambient lights. “But it’s mother’s day.” 

You playfully shook your head. “I’m not even a mother.”

“Yes, you are,” he went on teasing, “the mother of my future kids. I like to think in advance, you know.” 

Honestly? This man started off with a bad impression on you, but he wasn’t actually so bad. He was an easygoing, happy-go-lucky person who carried positive energy around him. That, and he was decent, too. He was the type of guy your parents would have surely approved of. He was a degree holder like you, even pursuing graduate studies to run a business that was already generating an income that you could only imagine of getting. He was set for life with no uncertainty with what he wanted for his future. 

“Satoru?”

He met your gaze. “Yeah?”

“About your offer last time,” you recalled, recalling his earlier jest about teaching you some things in bed, “I think I'd like to take you up on that.”

WELCOME to the masterlist!*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆

♡₊˚ 🦢❝ you’re just in time, make your tea n your toast❞₊✧

FORMULA ONE

SERIES: HEARTBREAK ON TOUR—CHARLES LECLERC

part 1: don’t start

part 2: wtf does ET know?

part 3: dupeee

part 4: emo ponytail girl

part 5: relevancy

part 6: reckless

part 7: revenge dress

part 8: you’re losing me

part 9: foreign affairs

part 10: xoxo, barbie

part 11: 1997 y/n’s version promo

part 12: not the poet

Old Scars, New Blood Masterlist

Summary: Reader has accepted that she’ll never be wanted, not only by the man she’s crushed on for years, but by anyone. That is until a new player enters the game. (f!, short!reader)

Status: In Progress

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem. 

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced – a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that. 

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a blissful marriage with you. 

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you prisoned for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you have Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the gaps that he had failed to complete. 

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe? 

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi will have that kind of man from him. 

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.” 

Talk about self-control. 

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss? 

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member. 

What if he had carried you all the way back into the living room and laid you naked on the couch? 

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself. 

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh? 

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard doing such a sin in the bathroom. Yet, perhaps you were still in a deep slumber next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he doubted you would hear what kind of mess he was making. 

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He’d have taken you on all fours, too. He’d have let you ride his cock. He’d have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He’d shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his love seeping out of your shaven pussy. He would love watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created another beautiful life inside of you. 

“Y/N…” 

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of? 

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. 

No, no… 

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral. “Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight. 

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your morning routine. 

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that means it was only 9:00 p.m. back home. 

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen. 

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair, seemingly about to prepare his breakfast. 

Still holding his phone, he walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?” 

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks. 

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?” 

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her. 

“I’m fine, how are you?” she asked, heading towards her bed as he assumed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.” 

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?” 

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.” 

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was your friend and she had the chance to see Sachior grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance. 

The only problem was you. 

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise. 

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?” 

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Damn. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.” 

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there was.” 

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself. 

You agreed. 

And he did his part. 

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro. 

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started. 

——

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi. 

The thought made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl. 

Besides, you had already kept it in mind even before this trip was planned out that you two would only be here for Sachiro. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that’s left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip. 

Five days had gone by and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections from across the USA. In a short matter of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been fixed. All that was left to resolve was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t allow for dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end. 

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and plenty of strangers, whether locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories. 

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured. 

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Gojou asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here. 

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada!” 

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold hands. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.” 

“He’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.” 

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Although you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family. 

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. 

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched him grimace from the small piece of broccoli he had given him. “You don’t like vegetables?” 

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.” 

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.” 

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son who looked at you with his puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his mind, it would be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.” 

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.” 

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely handle me.” 

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back. 

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.” 

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.” 

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully. 

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the awkwardness. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can head back to Japan as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.” 

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers after the whole incident. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make him follow his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this. 

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward. 

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his dad. 

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job. 

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good father. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy. 

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him. 

Though, at the back of your mind, you wondered what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he has a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving him now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider. No child deserved that. 

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans were with Akemi, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week. You had no problems in saying yes. 

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s staying and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit nor could they contact him for a year or so until he came back to Tokyo. 

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning the place. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro existed. 

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.” 

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.” 

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and you had decided to meet your fiancé there. He didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but a flicker of bitterness did appear on his eyes for a millisecond. 

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple days together. Or perhaps he actually was upset about the Toji thing? 

Either way, you were on your own. 

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like… home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted. 

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers. 

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?” 

He drank from his glass of 30 y/o Macallan, downing the liquor like it was water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?” 

“No, I…” You made an effort to cup his cheek, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.” 

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?” 

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.” 

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their hourglass bodies for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it. 

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there. 

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at at these events plenty of times, and probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event? 

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired. 

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “Didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.” 

Curiosity blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?” 

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.” 

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.” 

“Did you ask?” 

“He’s tight-lipped about it.” 

You sigh. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best. 

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through. 

“I wish my wife was here,” said Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.” 

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.” 

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes. 

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars in a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise. 

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times? 

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden? 

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then? 

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body. 

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.” 

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbles, chuckling inaudibly. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it, because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back tears. “That’s not true.” 

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening. His words were a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth. 

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the weakness in your voice. 

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts. A drunk mind speaks a sober heart. Alcohol is a truth serum. 

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all. 

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between his girlfriend and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side. 

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between his girlfriend and his son. 

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios today, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him. 

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. He wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum. 

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?” 

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, prompting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.” 

“—Satoru?” 

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind. She had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin, next to a tattooed man with salmon pink hair and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely. 

Sera and Sukuna. 

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so the two of them had no actual concerns towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child. 

He cleared his throat. “We gotta—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.” 

Sukuna, however, found the situation humorous, “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.” 

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit. 

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to his vacation home. 

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep it low, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they reached their high and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him. 

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.” 

“...Same.” 

She then let out an exasperated sigh. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. “She loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.” 

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and offering him her angelic smile. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.” 

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo. 

What you took was an immediate flight back straight to Osaka where your son and your ex-husband stayed. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you. 

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to escape Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. And the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you. 

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to. 

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long killed yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him. 

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do. 

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your face and traveled straight to his place. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby as soon as you spotted his mop of white hair, running across the small bridge and pointing towards the fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satory who stood next to him. 

You didn’t even care how you looked at that point. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind. 

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!” 

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son? 

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over. 

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete. 

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion settling on his features. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.” 

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended. “Change of plans.” 

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you thought. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back. 

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?” 

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide eyes like she had seen a ghost as soon as she saw your presence. 

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother. 

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through? 

How many more tears do you have to hold back? 

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend. 

Now, he even refused to go home with you. 

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck. 

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you? 

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.” 

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.” 

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.” 

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you. 

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.” 

SOME OF YALL ARE JUST…

you know that angst is fucking delicious when you can feel your heart sinking in your chest. some of y’all are just too damn good, omg.

sincerely yours. (8)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode nine

9:21 AM.

Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound of your index finger drumming a slow and steady cadence against the table was nearly in perfect synchronization to the tick tock of the clock above the wall behind you. An icy, uninviting atmosphere was the best way to describe the current situation inside the conference room at this time of the morning, with the gelid detachment between the boss and her employees as you built a wall—an impenetrable wall—around yourself to keep the inner turmoil you had in your head. 

So, you listened. You succumbed to silence as a result. 

“I’d like to present this new idea that we, along with the ecommerce team, have come up with to increase engagement on our website.” Even as the marketing manager started to speak, you remained frigid. “We did go through some feedback that people have been posting online and they’re mostly saying that the current web theme is too plain and that they’re hoping to see a more engaging website, so we would love to propose some ideas that could improve Hearte’s overall online presence. We know that keeping the brand’s look consistent is very important, especially now that Hearte is still establishing its own name in the fashion industry, and we have currently done a phenomenal job with our brand style. However, as the online website is our visual storefront, not only is its functionality critical, but we also have to ensure that the web design is in line with our aesthetics.” 

9:26 AM. 

You leaned back on your chair with your arms crossed, looking up to speak to the manager from across the conference room. “Let’s keep the unnecessary introduction short and just go straight to the point,” you strictly announced, receiving curious eyes in return as it was their first time seeing you becoming all stern and unamused. Such an odd sight to see from a boss who used to have the brightest of sunshines reflecting on her smile. “What’s the proposal?” 

The marketing manager cleared her throat and moved her presentation onto the next slide. “Yes, Ms. Y/N. So… uh, based on the data that you can see on the screen, our online sales increased by 15% for the past two weeks, but we still have about 10% of shoppers abandoning their shopping carts. Earlier this week, we set up email campaigns and social reminders to decrease our abandonment rate and urge shoppers to return to their carts. While working with the IT team, we did some A/B testing to determine which version would drive our business metrics. We’ve also reached out to The Society Management and added Kendall Jenner to our PR list so that possibly, in the future, we can get her as a model for our landing page and attract the western market,” she continuously explained in a manner to convince you of how much effort their department was doing to increase Hearte’s sales, “But what we believe could bring a tremendous improvement on our website engagement is by introducing style guides. This will capture the interest of the audience now that they can mix and match some outfits based on their own style, and—”

9:32 AM.

Sigh.

“Ms. Ono, I have to be honest, but I expected more from you,” you cut her off by leaving a frank comment on her presentation, “Fashion brands have been doing style guides for years. You make it sound like it’s unique, but it’s nothing new. How sure are we that it will actually bring a dramatic improvement on our website engagement? I doubt most of them would even browse through it.” 

“Well, uh…” The marketing manager faltered, glancing at the head of the social media team for some help, which she didn’t end up receiving. “I think it’ll work the way we want it to as long as we introduce engaging copies that make buyers fall in love with the designs.” 

“You think?” You criticized her word of choice. “Ms. Ono, I gave you enough time to brainstorm with your team, so the moment you step inside of this conference room, you should have prepared whatever strategy you had in mind. I don’t settle for ambitious words like ‘I think’ or ‘I believe’. I want to hear a proposal that’s original, unique, and captivating. I want you to be a hundred percent sure that you know what you’re doing before you waste everyone’s time like this. Do you understand? Am I being clear? I want a proposal that would definitely get us somewhere and not just by assuming we will.” 

Were you being too harsh? They said that the fashion industry in itself was harsh, so what was so surprising about seeing you being strict, candid, and business-like? This was the nature of your job. This was normal. 

9:47 AM. 

Very timidly did Nobara raise her hand beside you to chime in on the discussion. “I know I’m not in the position to make suggestions, but…” She pressed something on her laptop before carefully sliding it to your side of the table, showing you what appears to be a classic early 2000s ‘dress-up game’ with a base model and a selection of outfits that were inspired by your designs. “I just wanted to show you this, Ms. Y/N. I do agree with Ms. Ono’s idea to introduce style guides, but maybe we can do it in an interactive way. I know the dress-up game idea may look childish and unsophisticated, but I was kinda hoping that we can just make certain adjustments so that it could match Hearte’s classy and simplistic style. We can have base models in different body types and skin tones to show our brand’s diversity, then we can have shoppers try dressing them up using the outfits on our current collection. That allows them to easily visualize how the pieces would look on a certain skin tone and body type.” 

The way everyone else in that conference table looked at Nobara was very obvious that they were expecting you to reprimand her for even having the guts to offer such a farcical idea. What does she know? They were probably thinking that. You’re just an intern. You knew they were saying that in their minds. On the other hand, you surprisingly liked her proposal and enjoyed the unique idea of introducing it to the website because her proposal actually did make sense. People would be curious, people would try it out by interacting with the website, and that means the engagement would rise up. 

“I like that idea. We can go with that,” you said, sliding the laptop back to her while nodding at the marketing and social media managers, “I need the team to discuss Nobara’s idea further and polish it thoroughly before we can start adding it onto the website. Make adjustments as needed and ensure that everything is still in line with our brand. If you notice any flaws with this proposal, you can flag them with me and I’ll review them.” 

9:54 AM. 

Just as you were about to wrap up the meeting, a certain someone entered the conference room in haste—panting out of breath with her long, wavy hair and creased red pants. “I’m so sorry, I’m late.” 

Her casualness made you clench your jaws tightly, fueling the fire to your already terrible day. You could no longer stop yourself from unleashing your rage as you looked up at her with a critical squint. “Ms. Hirai, what time’s it?” 

“It’s ten, I know. I’m so sorry,” she repeated her apologies and paid an apologetic bow to everyone in the meeting room, “I’m sorry, everyone. I was caught up in heavy traffic today.” 

You let out a silent scoff and ignored her compunctious act. “How long are we gonna keep using that excuse, really?” you questioned her, earning the intrigued eyes of your employees who were all sensing the sudden tension between you and your best friend, “As the fashion merchandiser and my second-in-command, you should’ve been here in this meeting with me, but where were you? You anticipated that there would be heavy traffic, yet you couldn’t be responsible enough in coming to work early knowing that we have a meeting? Or was it because you’re too busy doing other things so you’re no longer interested in showing up to work on time?” 

Akemi shook her head, contritely. “It’s… It’s not like that.” 

“Not like what?” Your icy stare bored into her. No trace of compassion was present in your eyes. “I’m sure you’re living a very blissful life outside of work and I’m glad you are, but is that also why you don’t bother with anything else anymore?” 

“Y/N—”

“Miss Y/N,” you corrected, “I’m your boss, so treat me like one.” 

Wide, chocolate brown eyes greeted you in response. It was clear that she was at a loss of words and could only repeat her meaningless apologies a thousand times. “I’m really sorry, Ms. Y/N. It won’t happen again.” 

“You didn’t even let me know that you’ll be coming in late,” you continued and ignored the pitiful expression on her face, focusing on her swollen red lips and her dewy, rosy cheeks. She must have had a really good morning to look like a cherry blossom on a spring day. Was she so preoccupied being all lovey dovey with your ex-husband this morning? Did she sleep comfortably on the same marital bed you used to share with him? Your jaw tensed visibly. “You’re just coming in whenever you want. You don’t respect people’s time. You don’t respect my rules. You don’t respect me.” 

Yes, you were overreacting by taking things too personally and it was the reason why you got up from your seat and bolted out of the conference room upon realizing your unusual outburst. You could hear the clicking sound of your stiletto echoing across the corridor as you stomped towards your office, swinging the glass door open and heading straight towards the ceiling-to-floor window to have some peace of mind. Peace? How ridiculous. How could you find peace? You couldn’t even grasp the fact that your best friend was acting like everything was normal. You couldn’t understand why she was rubbing her relationship to your face as if she wasn’t just a placeholder to somebody’s ex wife.

“Y/N?” Akemi’s voice cut you out of your toxic trail of thoughts—your mouth thinning with displeasure while you didn’t bother turning around to meet her gaze. Breathe. You had to breathe and think rationally. “I…I understand you’re really angry right now, but I was hoping we can have this much needed talk.” 

You could feel her reaching for your hand at the height of your frustration and your defensive instinct led you to angrily swing your arm away, accidentally hitting her cheek as you pivoted on your heel to face her. It took two seconds for your eyes to shift from glaring in frustration to widening in surprise after seeing the small cut your diamond ring left on her cheek. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-Yeah, no, it’s fine,” she insisted with her palm pressed onto the right side of her face. “I deserved it.” 

Good lord. What was happening to you? Despite having all these unspoken rage and unresolved conflicts between the two of you, you would still drop everything and be concerned for her. You would still let your walls collapse. You were the villain that couldn’t stick to being a villain. Why? Why did you feel this way? Was it because you knew she wasn’t technically doing anything wrong? Or was it because you were just projecting your personal frustrations onto her? Was betrayal really the issue here? Or was it the huge possibility that she could in fact be Gojou’s one true love? You had thought of this before, but the same questions in your head never stopped. And never did they stop from invading your headspace as you made your way towards the small fridge to grab an ice pack that you soon offered to Akemi, leading her to one of the couches while finally coming into your senses. 

Yet there was silence and nothing but awkward silence when you two sat at a safe distance from each other. 

“I’m shameless.” She was the first one to break the uncomfortable atmosphere. “I know you’re thinking that and I do agree with you. I really am shameless to even look you in the eye right now.” 

You sighed and looked away, only to keep yourself from the furnace of pain that you had been bottling inside. “Stop. You’re making me seem like a villain right now. I’m tired of seeing myself this way.”

She closed her legs and sat humbly, reaching forward to squeeze your hand. “You’re not. You’re not a villain and you never were,” said the same woman you accidentally smacked a few minutes ago, “I understand why you would feel a certain way towards me. I’d even understand if you hate me so much that you wanna murder me. I’m your best friend and I know about your history with Satoru, yet here I am seeing your ex-husband behind your back. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t plan it. I truly didn’t. Even though you’re not together anymore and I’m technically not homewrecking anyone, I’m still putting us—you and I—in a really awkward position. You didn’t deserve any of that and I’m very sorry.” 

At least, she was self-aware. But looking at the brighter side of things, you were getting calmer now that you were hearing her side of the story, though that didn’t stop you from feeling any less horrible. “I don’t really care who you date,” you claimed, adamantly, “And I most definitely do not care who Satoru chooses to date. We’ve been divorced for three years.” 

“It’s still not right that I’m seeing him.” She let her guilt speak up for her. 

And you let your resentment speak for you. “Then, why him of all people?”

“It’s…” 

“Complicated?” 

“Y-Yeah…” 

You decided to keep a straight face. “How did this happen?” 

Akemi looked as if you had just forced her to be on the hot seat because of the apathy on your visage. “It was a drunken mistake at first and we kinda just…”

“I’m not asking about when you two started fucking,” you replied, bluntly. Something you had never done before in your usual sophisticated vocabulary. “I’m asking when you realized you have feelings for him. When did you fall in love with him?” 

She had trouble finding the right answer. “It just happened. I d-don’t really know. Whenever you asked me to look after him, I guess the bond he and I developed from that made me see him in a different light.” 

You disregarded the pain in your chest and let the volcano explode on its own, because her answer only meant that she was already growing feelings for your ex-husband at the same time you were confiding to her about him. That was the worst part of it all. 

“Why do you like him?” you questioned further, “Despite knowing what happened while I was married to him, why did you still end up falling in love with him? If that’s so hard to answer, then don’t think about us or me or our friendship. Just think about the decisions you made for yourself. Why are you with Satoru?” 

Her gaze found the floor. Hesitance. Guilt. Shame. Those emotions were all dancing in her eyes in a complete roundabout. While she took a moment to fully reassess her decision, you weren’t sure if you deserved to still feel hurt when she gave you an honest answer. “When I met Satoru, I didn’t meet the toxic, cheating ex-husband that he was known for,” she said, slowly, “I met a man who holds such a high respect for his ex-wife, adores his son like his greatest gift of all, and values his marriage more than anything else in this world. I met a vulnerable man who isn’t afraid to open his heart to strangers. A man who gave me emotional support even when he’s the one who needed it the most. I… It’s hard to explain, but…” 

Was there really anything left to say? Her point was clear, and your silence while she was speaking was more so because you were trying not to let the tiny pricks in your heart affect you further than it already did. The fullness of her voice and the way her eyes shined when she talked about him were enough to tell you that your best friend had truly fallen in love and you would be cruel to take that away from her. Even from him. They would not have been involved in such an intimate relationship if there had been no attraction between them to begin with, so then… Why did it feel like you were being cheated on? She was no Sera, and he was not the Satoru that only used you for his corporate ambitions. It was just Akemi and Satoru—they were each other’s right person at the right time. The only thing blocking their path to a loving relationship was you. 

You. The irrational and spiteful ex-wife. The ex-wife who always played the ‘victim card’. The selfish ex-wife who wanted all the good things to only come her way. 

Well, god be damned, because you were beginning to confuse yourself with the version of you that wasn’t even remotely like you at all. She was just a mirrored image of yourself that you thought people perceived. 

“You can do what you want.” The moment you spoke again, you were already creating a huge wall between you and your best friend, making sure that there were boundaries that none of you should ever cross now that she had chosen to be with someone you had sincerely loved in the past. It may sound like you were letting go, but truth be told, you just didn’t think that you even had the option to hold onto anything. Satoru wasn’t yours and you weren’t his anymore. You were two individuals living separate lives. “If you wanna be with him, that’s your choice. I don’t plan on intervening. It just… just really surprised me that you didn’t have the decency to tell me at all.” 

Akemi nodded, apologetically desperate. “I understand how you’re feeling and I’m sorry. I really, truly am sorry, Y/N.” Her voice and her countenance did show the genuineness in her plea to be forgiven, but you were too numb to feel anything else. “I hope we can stay friends despite everything.” 

How could you even stay friends in a situation like this? 

First option was to keep pretending that their relationship wasn’t bothering you. Second option was to focus on your own relationship with Toji to the point where everything else just didn’t matter anymore.

Yeah, you thought. You could certainly choose the latter. 

“Our friendship isn’t my top priority at the moment,” was your straightforward response to her, “I wanna focus on my son and his relationship with his father. That’s all.” 

Any regular person would have thought: ‘Wow, Y/N. You handled that well.’ ‘You’re so mature.’ ‘You’re a lot calmer than we expected.’ The thing was, you really did think that you had been way too calm about it. In spite of the scene you caused at the conference room, or the dramatic exchange you had with Akemi in your office, you still handled it much better than one would think. In TV shows or movies, the ex-wife would have dragged the best friend to the ground, slapped her face, pulled her hair, started a nasty catfight, and called her all the terrible labels you could think of. Look, part of you wanted to do that. And the other part of you—the sympathetic, altruistic part of you—thought you shouldn’t do that. You would only look pathetic. 

Of all the negative things Satoru had made you feel over the course of your failure of a marriage, this aftermath was probably the toughest. 

You just weren't in the right state of mind to justify why. 

You also couldn’t justify why you had been looking for unhealthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. If anyone from your family saw you standing at the smoking area near the parking lot right now, they would have given you an earful of how you must be out of your mind for even putting a cigarette stick between your lips. How exactly could tobacco be good for you? You would say, first of all, that nicotine does in fact cause pleasant feelings to distract you from unpleasant ones. You couldn’t find any other way to relax your mind any faster than one cigarette stick could. Besides, staying in the office and seeing Akemi around was getting too suffocating and you couldn’t afford to have your negative mood lingering in your mind for the rest of the day. One stick wouldn’t hurt. Another one wouldn’t, too. And another one should be fine, right? 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” 

The irony. You didn’t even have the time to recoil before the main cause of your stress showed up in front of you, frowning after he snatched the cigarette stick out of your lips. He was quick to throw it to the ground, stomp on it like he would do with your heart, and give you a questioning look that made you scoff at the ridiculousness of this situation. This could be a dream for heaven’s sake. Or a hallucination. There was no way Satoru Gojou would be standing right in front of you just as you were thinking about him.

“Since when have you been doing this?” he questioned again, holding your wrist this time to make you realize that his presence or this interaction wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. It would have been better that way, but the reality was, Satoru was there and he wasn’t the least bit pleased. “I know you’re mad at me and this isn’t the right time for me to chew you out like this, but…” he paused, taking your cigarette pack. “I can’t believe you’re fucking smoking right now, Y/N. Did you get this habit from Toji?”

Okay. Gojou could be way out-of-line sometimes, but this was the apex of it. 

“Don’t bring Toji into this,” you snapped back, shooting him a glare that could easily kill. “What are you doing here?”

You could see how deep his inhale was just by the loudness of his sigh after it. His face showed a combination of yearning, regret, frustration, and pity as if he was deciding which emotion should dominate him more. But among the multitude of emotions that were drowning him right now like a tidal wave, he looked all the more exhausted. Whether it was dealing with you, trying to make amends with you, or simply being around you—you could tell that he wanted to drop his constant need to care for you because it was beginning to tire him out. 

He didn’t really answer your question, and instead, asked one of his own. “Are you smoking because of stress?” he asked, trying to mask the sympathy in his eyes. “It’s bad for you. Set a good example for Sachiro.” 

You’re bad for me, you wanted to say. Why did it even matter to him, anyway? You were nothing more than just a mother to his child. Anything outside that role was completely not his business anymore. The fact that he was even within the vicinity of your office was ridiculous, because you were already having a bad day and his presence was adding further into it. “Don’t you dare talk about setting a good example to my son like you’re so righteous yourself.” 

“Y/N, come on.” He reached for your hand once more as if trying to show how much he cared or how worried he was with what you were doing to yourself because of him. “I don’t want you to—”

“Keep your fucking distance, Gojou. You’re not in the place to give a damn about me anymore,” you raged, withdrawing your wrist and breathing heavily as you tried to keep yourself from further exploding. You would have. You were so close to cursing him off, but you saw the flash of pure shock in his eyes, and that was how you realized what you just did. All these violent reactions, these unusual outbursts—these were not you. This was not the meek, soft-spoken ex-wife that he was once married to. 

“Toru?” 

Unfortunately, Gojou no longer had enough attention span to listen when he looked away, only to turn to his new woman with a genuinely worried expression painted on his face as soon as he saw her coming out of the building with a hand on her cheek. You realized that he was actually here to pick her up and was doing everything that a caring boyfriend would; checking every inch of her face to see how bad she was hurt and asking her what happened and whether she was okay. You didn’t know how to react the moment he turned back to you with his tired, yet passively accusatory eyes. “Did something happen?” 

You knew that his question actually translated to: ‘Did you slap her?’ With your thorough knowledge about his acquired trauma from physical violence, you felt the sudden need to clear your name, but you didn’t know if you should be grateful that it was already your best friend who did the part in doing such. “Nothing happened. It was an accident.” Her tone was almost begging before she started tugging his arm. “Let’s just go, please.” 

Satoru didn’t want to let it go, but decided that it was best to just leave it be as he glanced at you with a slightly detached gaze. “I’ll see you in a couple of days,” he reminded, referring to the dreaded New York trip together with Sachiro. 

A conflicted look from him and an apologetic gaze from her. That was all that you received before they got inside the car and left you alone and miserable in that parking lot. You watched his car fade into view with her on the passenger seat and him probably holding her hand as he drove through the street. Just when you thought you could actually stomach the sight of him and her together, it would be a big fat lie to say that it didn’t sting. It stung worse than the times he ran after Sera than to stay behind with you. Worse than when he used to treat you like a mistress rather than a wife. 

You must be going crazy, indeed. Who in their right mind would cry over her ex-husband in the middle of the parking lot? Why would you even shed tears when you were the one who wanted him to find someone else and move on? This was becoming a never-ending loop because you were letting yourself be affected by it. It shouldn’t be that way. Never. 

“Toji.” You were doing your hardest to conceal the weakness in your voice as you pressed your phone into your right ear. “I-I need you… right now. Please.” 

“Hey, I was just about to pick-up Sachi from daycare. Is everything okay?” 

Wiping your eyes, you looked at the dull skies wondering if the universe was trying to reflect all these emotions running inside of you. “Yeah… Can you come soon?” 

He didn’t really hesitate to answer, quickly understanding that he had to drop everything else right now and be with you. “Alright, I’ll be there.” 

Satoru was conflicted, but he didn’t know what exactly made him feel that way. Was it because he saw you smoking in the parking lot? Or was it because he could tell that you gave Akemi a tongue-lashing after catching her half-naked at the penthouse a few days ago? Either way, both options were not very you. And he couldn’t understand why you were slowly starting to look less and less like the person he knew, which was confusing on his part because you had been adamant on telling him to forget about you. You were rigid on your decision to not let him enter your life as your husband for the second time around. He told you he still loved you, but you said you loved another. He told you he wanted to work things out and make your family complete again, but you said you were already doing that with someone else. Gojou knew his hands weren’t clean and the reason you may be acting that way was because out of all the women he could have been with, it had to be Akemi Hirai. Your best friend. Your confidante. Your business partner. She was a territory he shouldn’t have crossed, yet he did. 

But, at the same time, she was the only person who had been there for him during his lowest. She was the company he needed when his heart was the loneliest. He couldn’t even remember the amount of times she came to his aid when he was crying over his memories of you, memories that he could no longer hold onto. Akemi brought peace to his heart, and if there was anyone else he could be with, it would be her. 

It was becoming more and more clear to him how he felt about her. 

Although, voicing that out loud was a different story. Keeping it in his thoughts was for the best because he didn’t want to lead Akemi on. She didn’t deserve that nor did she deserve to feel like a substitute for someone else. He wanted to be a hundred percent sure about being with her before he could fully confess his real feelings for her. It could still develop through time, perhaps far better and more passionate than what he was sharing with her right now, but until then, settling for what they had at this moment in time was for the better. What was important was that both parties were clear about diving into this relationship. 

He wasn’t ready for commitment and she understood that. She was willing to wait for him. She was helping him move on in the least painful way. Where else could he meet such a person like her? 

She was gentle, motherly, sensitive, and intuitive. She was classy and sophisticated. She knew how to dress nicely. Her nails were always clean and pretty. Her smile was very charming. Her laugh, endearing. She was the perfect woman anyone could have. 

“Why’d you suddenly want to go to the mall?” she asked, intertwining their hands together as she looked up at him with her beautiful doe eyes. Her question made him cut out of his trance, remembering that they were strolling around the galleria. 

He touched the small wound on her cheek as if stroking it could make it heal faster. “Nothing,” he said. “Just a last minute idea.”

Truthfully, Gojou wasn’t sure why he had brought her there. All he knew was that he had a lot going on in his mind while he was driving through the city and the next thing he knew, he was already pulling up at the galleria out of his natural instinct. But since they were already there, he might as well buy her a little something. Anything. And then his eyes caught sight of Chanel as if the high-end boutique was pulling his feet with such gravity that it led him to go inside the store while hand-in-hand with the woman next to him. 

“Mr. Gojou, how are you?” 

Right. The staff knew him so well, especially for the amount of times he had been there with his ex-wife when you two were still married. 

“Are you looking for anything specific?” One of the familiar ladies that used to assist you approached him with a lingering stare towards Akemi. “Perhaps for your…?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, can you… uh,” he turned towards the rack of tweed sets, “Do you have any new collections?” 

“Yes, absolutely,” said another lady, “Right this way, sir.” 

It was easy to notice how the staff were exchanging glances at the sight of Satoru and Akemi together, but his mind was far too distracted by the nostalgia of being in that place alone to even care about his surroundings. All he did was look back at Akemi and encourage her to try out the newest collections that they had, thinking that she was oblivious about what was going through his head. “You go and pick whatever you like.” 

Although she was clearly not used to it, Akemi did eventually try on some of the outfits he specifically had chosen for her. They were Chanel’s signature tweed sets that he always found to be very elegant, and he definitely wasn’t wrong that they would suit her when she came out of the dressing room to show him how the clothes wrapped her small frame perfectly. 

He could see your smile through her face, your excitement when you tried the outfits on, and the shine in your eyes when you looked at yourself in the mirror. Except, Gojou had to remind himself that you weren’t her. That his mind was just messing with him. 

No, this was wrong. Why was he thinking about you while he was with her? 

He had to have some sort of distraction. Something so tangible that all of his senses would go numb. 

The one way he was able to overcome that dilemma was by sharing yet another steamy exchange with Akemi later that night. He couldn’t remember who initiated first, but it must have been the equal desire that they had for each other when they dove straight into a heated makeout session the moment they stepped inside his bedroom. One thing led to another. First he was kissing her lips, then her collarbones, then her inner thighs—devouring her completely with his lust-driven actions, doing the most by pleasuring her body using his own. 

She was a giver just as she was a receiver. Not that he didn’t expect her to be so experienced when it came to sex, but she definitely knew what she was doing without any guidance from him. Perhaps he just wasn’t used to it anymore. Perhaps he had just forgotten how it felt to have sex with someone who didn’t rely on him to initiate the next steps they should do. Fuck, he couldn’t even remember the last time someone stared at his eyes while putting his hardened member inside her mouth the way she did. She knew her power over him while at his most vulnerable state, ruining his masculine ego and destroying it with her own feminine pride. 

And in the midst of their intimate session, Gojou was zoning out while he was sliding a condom across his shaft, ready to enter her from the back. His mind was giving him a flash of memory, not a distant but recent one from two days ago.

“I still can’t believe you did that, Mom. You’re being ridiculous.” 

His mother wasn’t exactly showing the slightest hint of regret on her face despite knowing full well that sending the custody claim almost made you lose your mind. She was keeping a straight face as she sat on the barstool next to him, taking a sip of wine from her glass while he, on his own, was downing a glass of scotch. “She had it coming.”

Satoru sighed his frustration away. “Don’t do that again or today’s the last time you’ll ever see me.” 

“What are you talking about?” His mother frowned. “Who was there for you when you were trying to end your own life because of the lies she told you, huh? You’re feeling bad for her now, but did she feel bad for you back then? You missed three years of your son’s life because she was being too spiteful towards you.” 

He had never met someone more stubborn than his own mother, but maybe this was a clear sign for Satoru to realize where he must have acquired that one similar trait of his. After all, people always made it seem that he was more like his dad even though he despised being compared to his father. To say that his mother was a complete angel was a lie. But neither was he. “Whatever, just don’t… Just leave Y/N alone. She’s still the mother of my child and I don’t want us to keep fighting. At least, for Sachi’s sake.” 

His mother finished her glass of wine before turning the stool towards his direction. There was a minute of silence that passed between them before she spoke again. “I just don’t want you to get back with her, darling. You two are toxic together.” 

Funny, because he could say the same thing for her and his father. “Well, it’s not gonna happen now. Y/N’s gonna hate me forever.” 

“What, ‘cause she rejected you again?” 

“No,” he countered, shaking his head and chugging all the remaining liquor on his glass. “She knows about the thing I have with Akemi now.” 

Her mouth fell open, gasping as she did so. “Y-You… and Akemi? Are you together?” 

Satoru expected this reaction from her, but didn’t think she would actually be more fixated on his new relationship than the effect it would bring on her ex-daughter-in-law. “It’s not something to be proud of, Mom.” 

“Well, I’m proud of you,” she still stressed that fact, “It’s nice to hear that you’re finally moving on, Satoru. Y/N is not good for you, but I know Akemi will be. I like her and I know she’ll make you a lot happier than Y/N ever did.” 

“You’re still awake?” Gojou let out a yawn as he felt the heaviness of his eyelids telling him that it was time to sleep. He tried checking the time on his phone, but realized that he still had the photo of you and Sachiro as his lockscreen. He wasn’t planning on changing it anytime soon, but considering that Akemi saw it, he was expecting that she would have something to say, yet nothing came out of her mouth. She simply stayed silent while laying on his chest, letting him touch the slope of her naked back as she slightly raised her head to meet his eyes. He had already closed his phone and placed it back on the nightstand. “What, did I not tire you enough?” 

“Shut up.” She hid her reddened cheeks and smiled on the crook of his neck. Her hand was placed on his chest, fingers tracing his collarbones. “No, I’m just thinking about how you’re gonna manage New York and all.” 

Satoru’s breathing was still for a few seconds, keeping his eyes glued on the ceiling as he held her on your marital bed. “You’re scared that the infamous cheater is gonna cheat on you or something?” he joked, a distasteful one, but still meant to ease whatever was burdening her mind. “Not gonna happen even if we’re in an open relationship.” 

“That’s not it,” Akemi quickly replied, denying his claims, “I’m more like hoping that you’ll be patient with her. She gets angry a lot these days and we know we’re the main cause of it, so please. Please don’t try to argue with her, okay? If she says hurtful things, learn to understand her.” 

He wrapped his arms tighter around her smaller frame. Gojou was certain that he was about to doze off soon now that he had closed his eyes and let the exhaustion pull him into a good night’s sleep. “I won’t,” he spoke his words slowly, drifting off to dreamland, “I won’t make her angry.” 

“Okay.” He felt her lips kissing his jaw just before the both of them gradually matched the calmness of each other’s chest. One heart, one soul, two bodies.  “Good night, ‘Toru.” 

…

…

…

In the middle of his sleep, he mumbled, “Good night, Y/N.”

On the other side of the city, you woke up in the middle of your slumber, facing the handsome face of your fiancé, Toji Zen’in, who had already drifted off to dreamland while holding you in his muscular arms. No wonder people were jealous of you for having such a refined man like him in your bed every night you go to sleep. The thing was, you had no reason to feel discontented with your life since you already had everything. You were wealthier than the average person, you ran a business that you were passionate about, you had an adorable son who meant the world to you, and you had Toji. There was nothing else you could ask for. And if by remembering Sera’s words back then, you would be selfish to ask for anything more because others didn’t even have half the fortune you had. 

So, in that sense, you should be happy. 

You had to be happy. 

You were happy, right? 

“Go to sleep,” whispered a half-awake Toji, stirring from his sleep as he held your waist tighter like you were his comfort pillow. “You alright?” 

Sighing inwardly, you traced the scar on his lips. “You’re so gorgeous.”

His lazy, boyish smile came into view. “I know that,” he joked, closing his eyes as if succumbing into a few more minutes of sleep. “Don’t tell me you’re turned on right now ‘cause I can go all night. Doggy. Missionary. Cowboy. Reverse cowboy.” 

Were you? Maybe a little. And maybe you had to have a distraction from your ‘source of happiness’. 

“That’s very naughty of you, Mr. Zen’in,” you replied, cheeks heating up from his vulgar words. Your hand was finding its way to his toned chest, while his were traveling to the curves of your waist and hips. You could feel him angling his body to make sure he had access to slide your underwear just a little above your knee, gliding his hand along your thigh before letting his fingers touch your sensitive bud. “T-Toji—”

A smirk appeared on his lips. “Hm? I thought you wanted this?” 

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Y-Yeah, I…” There was no use holding back from moaning because his fingers knew how to move perfectly well, playing with your clit in circular motions before sliding two of them into your entrance. “...Fuck.”

“Feel good?” His hot breath tickled your neck, moving his mouth from your collarbones down to the valley between your breasts. “Wish you knew how delicious you are.” 

Another moan, much louder this time around, escaped your lips when he attached his mouth onto your breast, sucking the round mass with his tongue doing God’s work. You were so high into sexual desire that your back arched on its own, dominated by the pleasing sensation all over your body. You could barely even respond to him when he started asking why your mood had been so down when he picked you up after work or why you still wouldn’t tell him whatever happened back there. 

“It’s nothing,” you replied, disregarding the painful encounter you’ve had with your ex-husband and your best friend. “...Just work stuff.” 

As you closed your eyes, you could feel Satoru’s fingers entering deep inside of you, deep enough to have reached your g-spot and have you moaning wildly. It felt unreal. It felt goddamn out of this world. But since Satoru was familiar with every inch of your body, his touch alone could easily send you to seventh heaven. He was heavenly. He was saintly. That mesmerizing gaze of his paired with his sky blue eyes and messy white hair. His beautiful, beautiful face, watching you beg for him to do more. More. More…

“Satoru…”

The intense feeling suddenly stopped, awakening you back to your senses as you opened your eyes and saw the dark, animalistic gaze of Toji Zen’in. “What’d you say?” he asked in a deep voice. 

Out of panic, you slightly pulled away and shook your head. “N-Nothing. What did I say?”

“I thought I heard you say his…” he trailed off, pulling his fingers out of you and instead, placing a tight grip on your hip. “Did you?” 

“No, no. Not at all.” Your voice came in a hushed tone, looking at his eyes intently. “Why would I do that?” 

He let out an exasperated sigh, falling back into the bed with one arm under his head. “Don’t play games with me, Y/N.”

Desperation led you to climb on top of him, sitting on his crotch before encasing your lips with his soft ones. “I’m not,” you mumbled, kissing him again. “I never did. I promise.” 

Yet, despite your attempts at inviting him for an open-mouthed kiss, he had already lost the interest to engage in sexual activities with you. He didn’t say anything nor tried to argue about the shit that you said, but he did stay silent for a couple of minutes, simply holding you on top of him without another word to utter. It scared you to think what was going through Toji’s mind, but this was also all your fault. Why, in the first place, did you even let your mind imagine that white-haired toxic ex-husband of yours when you had Toji Zen’in in front you? 

Perhaps in this relationship, you were the toxic one. 

You were the poison that could kill the life out of the man who only wanted to love and heal you. 

“Toji, I’m sorry…” 

He held his breath. “Should I be concerned that you’re going on a trip with him?” 

“No, it’s…” Pulling away, you gave him a look of combined sincerity and denial. “We’re just gonna fix Sachiro’s papers, you know that. We won’t even be staying in the same room.” 

Fixing Sachiro’s papers. Dealing with his dual citizenship. Changing his last name to Gojou. Solidifying your son’s identity as the son of Satoru Gojou. That’s all there is to it. All the technical matters. 

“Is he staying at a hotel or are you letting him stay at your apartment in Manhattan?” he asked, although there was no hint of suspicion in his voice. Or at least, he must be good at hiding it. 

You chose to be honest. “I have to let him stay at my apartment,” was your answer, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Only because Sachi wants his dad around all the time. We’re just trying our best to co-parent.” 

Toji’s dry humor took over. “You sure you’re not gonna let him fuck you senseless?” His tone was laced with resentment. “And then you’ll come home to me crying about how he got you pregnant for the second time. You’d better kiss our marriage goodbye if that happens.” 

“What kind of person do you think I am?” you retorted, annoyed by his word of choice as if you were a cheating scumbag. “If he’s gonna get someone pregnant, that won’t be me.” 

His eyes sparked with curiosity. “What do you mean?” 

Deciding between telling and not telling, you figured that the latter would only cause more drama to bounce back at you like a boomerang. “He’s with Akemi.” 

It looked like Toji didn’t hear it right. “Akemi? How’d that happen?” 

“I don’t know what kinda relationship they have, okay?” you snapped, no longer wanting to keep up with this topic further. “I just caught them. They said they’re seeing each other, but it’s complicated or whatever—I don’t really give a damn. But he’s with her is all I know.” 

Toji went silent for a few minutes, unable to determine whether he should find the situation pitiful or humorous. One thing for sure though, was that he found it unbelievable. “That son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath, smiling in disbelief, “So this is what’s ruining your mood these days, huh?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in response. “It’s not.” 

“Your ex-husband slept with your best friend. Yeah, I’d be mad, too.” His comment wasn’t really meant to irk you, but he successfully did so. Minus the intention. “Getting mad is understandable, getting jealous is questionable. Which one are you?” 

Fuck it. “I said I’m not jealous. Will you stop now?” You sunk yourself under the covers, turning your back on Toji. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

Now that he knew and you saw his reaction, you wondered what it would be like if Gen and Ian knew. Or if your dad knew. What would they think of Satoru? What would they think of Akemi? No, nevermind that. What would they think of you? Another fool in a deck of cards? Another game that was played with? 

You didn’t want to know. 

Ideally, you and Satoru really shouldn’t have gone to this New York trip together as if your family was still intact, because as much as you wished that that was true, you were far from that. You were only playing house for the sake of your son, but that also meant putting you in a painfully awkward situation together as ex-spouses. He had a girlfriend back home and you had a loving and loyal fiancé who proved the whole word that he was loyal to you. And although your respective partners were supporting the whole co-parenting situation, you knew by yourselves that this was nowhere to near to being comfortable for them, too. 

“Everything okay?” You heard the familiar voice of your past, only to see his dull, blue eyes taking a peek at you. 

“Yeah,” you replied, almost inaudibly. You just boarded the plane while Satoru was talking to the pilot, and found your spot on one of the beds in his private jet. It took a few minutes for him to get to where you were now. “Why?” 

He shrugged, eyeing a sleepy Sachiro next to you. “Just wanna make sure you and Sachi are comfortable.” 

You didn’t know what else to say, so you just looked back at your peaceful son who was hugging his elmo plush like the cute angel he was. Even though he was growing so fast, you could still remember how he was just as small as a puppy in your arms when he was first born. The memory of it caused you to press your lips on his forehead, caressing his soft, white hair. At some point while observing the scene, your son’s father thought it would be a good idea to slide the blanket further up your shoulders, acting as though he was only doing it to keep Sachiro warm. And later, he sat on the reclined airplane seat, drinking the coffee that was served to him by the stewardess. 

It was crazy. 

Crazy that Toji could be lying next to you and you would feel nothing. But Gojou was meters away from you and your mind was on a never-ending race. 

Just before noon, the airplane landed safely at JFK airport and Satoru’s driver took you straight to Central Park Towers, treated like a V.I.P. by security just because your ex-husband was Japan’s third richest person and second most influential businessman. At times like these, you would almost forget the power Satoru held even before he was the chairman. You two were almost royalty. Now that he was leading the Gojou Group, his reputation only grew more despite the scandal of your broken marriage. He knew not to share his relationship publicly anymore nor did he expose Sachiro to any of his social media. It was a mutual decision for you to keep your son away from the spotlight knowing the scrutiny and the lack of privacy that would enter your lives once again—all the unnecessary noise, the unwanted comments, the unruly attention. Besides, for safety reasons, Sachiro had to be hidden from the public since he would become the sole heir to his father’s conglomerate, inheriting his parents combined assets that could one day make him the richest and most sought after bachelor in Japan. 

“Mamaaa!” A lively Sachi came running to you as soon as he entered the lobby of the apartment suites, his father following him behind. 

“Careful, baby!” you said, standing at the lobby while talking to your housekeeper, “You might trip.” 

Satoru decided to carry his son after noticing your worried expression and immediately walked towards you. He was all smiles as he looked at Sachiro’s cheerful blue eyes. “He seems a little excited, isn’t he?” 

“He lived here for almost three years,” you answered, signaling a quick ‘thank you’ to your housekeeper before guiding your boys to the elevator. “He must’ve missed the place. Did you, Sachi?”

“Yes, mama~”

It was a little bittersweet for your ex-husband, though. Especially the moment he stepped inside the apartment, looking at every corner and realizing that it was the same place you had lived in back when he was suffering from emotional distress on the other side of the world. This apartment was where his own child grew up in and he had no idea he had even existen then. Not only did that make you a terrible ex-wife, but it also made you a heartless mother. You had separated them and now you were taking him to the place where you had his son hidden from him. 

That wasn’t your intention. That was never your intention. 

“I’m glad you chose a nice place,” he complimented, acting as casual as possible. “Does your father own this place or?”

“Gen loaned it to me,” you said, holding Sachiro’s hand while letting Satoru follow you closely. You stopped at one of the guest rooms and urged the tall man to feel at home. “You can stay here for the meantime.” 

“I don’t wanna make things uncomfortable for Akemi.” He looked away, avoiding your eyes. “I can just stay at a hotel—” 

“Dada!” His mini-me tugged at his hand along with yours. You already knew that those puppy eyes would look back at the both of you. “Sachi wants Dada to stay.”

Frankly, you weren’t upset a while ago, but since he had to bring up Akemi and make it seem like her feelings were his priority, you lost all the will to be kind. Was their relationship that deep for him to act like such a loyal, righteous partner? Where was that same loyalty when he married you? “Do whatever.” 

Noticing the tension between his parents, Sachiro’s eyes started to well up with tears and that was all it took for you two to completely focus your attention back to your 3-year old. 

“Sachi…” Satoru tried to reach for his son, but you (spitefully) beat him to it. 

“It’s okay, my baby. Don’t cry,” you comforted your son, picking him up and carrying him in your arms, “Daddy will still visit you every day even if he's staying at a hotel.” 

Satoru, as guilty as ever, shook his head and wiped his son’s eyes. “No. I’ll stay here for Sachi, okay? Don’t cry anymore.” 

It felt like hours sitting on that enormous sofa, staring at the television screen even though your mind was miles away. You had already texted Toji good night and reassured him that everything was fine, but you still couldn’t stop thinking about what he was doing back home. Sachiro had fallen asleep almost half an hour ago, and how you wished you could also enjoy your slumber while snuggling under those heated blankets, but how could you? How could you be comfortable in the presence of an ex-husband who was coming out of his room, freshly showered in his low-waisted sweatpants and tight-fitting black shirt? Not to mention how he was obviously flexing his arms while drying his mop of messy, white hair with a towel. Ridiculous. A little seductive, but definitely ridiculous. 

“Still up?” His sky blue eyes met yours as soon as he looked up. 

You adjusted your position on the sofa and leaned on the corner, pulling a small cushion to place above your thighs. “Can’t sleep.” 

And the night went on just like that. You, sitting on the couch. Him, sitting on the other end as if going near you might suffocate him. It didn’t help that the silence was beginning to be too uncomfortable. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking of. Perhaps Akemi? Perhaps you? You doubted the latter. 

“I think…” You cleared your throat to escape from the awkward tension. “I think I’m gonna go for a night swim. You can go to sleep next to Sachi tonight, just make sure not to wake him up.” 

Satoru’s curious gaze trailed on you as you got up and tightened your robe. “It’s a little too late at night to go for a swim, no?” 

You couldn’t even face him as you responded. “I need to clear my mind off some things.” And by things, you meant him and this whole mess of a situation that you had put yourselves together. Two divorcees staying in the same living space wasn’t exactly a brilliant idea to begin with.

“Want me to join you?” asked Satoru, and he himself could not believe he asked that question. He may have asked it out of his innate care for you, probably worried for no damn reason. What he didn’t realize was how wrong his suggestion was, especially that you two were dating other people now. 

If only you were such a cruel person, how ironic would it be if you allowed Satoru Gojou to join you for a quick night swim? 

How ironic would it be for you to feel each other’s warmth under the crystal pool, getting carried away by the romantic lights that lit the city? 

How ironic would it be if the intense sexual tension ended with you doing things under the sheets, completely disregarding the fact that the both of you had respective partners who were overthinking this exact NYC trip?

How ironic would it be if, for once in your life, you became the cheater? 

Thankfully, you didn’t have the mindset of a cheating person. 

However, it was Satoru who took back his initial offer. “Never mind. Forget I even asked that,” he muttered, sounding annoyed more so to himself rather than at you. 

You offered a nonchalant shrug. “Okay.” 

And as you were heading to the poolside, you could sense Gojou’s presence behind even though he just very clearly rejected the idea of going on a swim with you. He was still the same confusing man that you married before. Only now, he was ten times worse. “Wait, Y/N.”

“What?” You turned around, annoyed at his push-and-pull behavior. At this point, you didn’t really care what he was thinking of anymore. All you did was to take off your robe, leaving yourself with only your underwear on before you slowly got down on the pool. 

Gojou, on the other hand, was ridding himself of his shirt and sweatpants to join you in the pool with just his boxers on. What even was this situation? You two had that same question in your head despite swimming at the edge of the pool to stare at the cityscape. “I only asked to join you because I wanted to talk. That’s all.” 

You wanted to laugh at how he was clearing his intentions to you. 

“Why do you sound defensive around me?” He couldn’t see it, but you were rolling your eyes as you leaned against the pool coping. “I never knew Akemi would be the jealous type.” 

Satoru looked surprised by your claim, seeming as though he didn’t recognize the kind of person you were anymore. You were never this unreasonably sarcastic nor acidic with your words during your marriage even at the height of his affair with Sera, yet you had just become the worst version of yourself. “She isn’t,” he muttered, finding his spot next to you, “But I don’t wanna give her a reason to be.” 

You huffed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You make it sound like I’m gonna make a move on you or something.” 

“I never said that.” 

“You were thinking about it.” 

“Says who?” 

What is it about Satoru Gojou that makes him so irritating? Was it the way he talks? The way he thinks he’s always right? The way he acts like he’s such a clean person? 

“Please,” you retorted, bitterly. “Toji isn’t comfortable having you around me, either. Just so you know.” 

“Can we just—” There. His last string of patience finally snapped and his true colors came to show when he grabbed your wrist and made you face him. The spiteful Satoru. He was back, even just for a second. “Y/N, I’m not trying to argue with you here. I’m trying to talk to you like a civilized person. You’re the mother of my child and I respect you. I’d still care for you and will always protect you, but I want you to at least act like a fucking person around me. You’re a grown woman.” 

Wasn’t it bad that he, of all people, was basically telling you to grow up? Memories of your marriage and all the back-and-forth arguments that you had with him flashed before your eyes. He should be the last one to say such a thing. “You’re the one who’s been crossing the fucking line with me since day one, Gojou. Don’t tell me to—”

“And do you wish I had just killed myself for you to forgive me?!” The ridges of his neck became prominent, making his anger much visible now. He was staring down at you intensely, backing you against the edge of the pool, trapping you in between his arms. “I’d have probably done that. But you…You did unforgivable things to me and look how easy it was for me to forgive you.” 

You looked away, not trying to have this conversation again. Not trying to have your guilt eat your heart out. Maybe your behavior really had become too much and it was about time you take a step back and realize how ridiculous you had been acting because no way was this man trying to make a better point than you. 

“I slept with Akemi, I know. She’s your best friend, I fucking know. But I never did that to get back at you,” his voice bore so much authority in them. “I begged on my knees just to be with you again. Swallowed my pride just for you to be my wife again!” His breathing became ragged. “But you chose to move on. You said you love Toji. You said you’d be happier without me, so why don’t I deserve to be happy without you?” 

The inability to speak wasn’t because you were at a loss of words. The problem was choosing the right ones. Words that wouldn’t put you in a disadvantageous position. Words that wouldn’t make you look like an unreasonable person. 

“You wished me well when you first found out about Akemi and I. You said you don’t care who I choose to date even if that choice is her,” he said, much calmer this time. He was placing his forehead against yours, body pressed against each other. “If that was true, then why are you still so angry with me?” 

Your heart raced as you locked eyes with him. His eyes were the same kind of blue that reflected off of the surface of the pool. Anyone could easily get lost in it, but you knew where to place yourself in order not to. “I’m… not angry…” 

“Baby, you and I both know that’s not true,” he said with a serious gaze, lifting your chin with his hand. 

But you swatted it away, averting your eyes. “Don’t call me baby. You’re being ridiculous.” 

With a loud sigh, Gojou gave up and simply placed his forehead on your shoulder, letting you feel the weight of his head and the warmth of his breath. “If you were still my wife, I’d have kissed you right now,” he declared, breathing heavily as if stopping with all of his will to do what he just said. “I’d touch every inch of you, tell you how much I love you, carry you back into that room, and make more beautiful babies with you…” 

“Satoru,” you warned just as he pulled away, smiling despite the sorrow in his eyes. 

“…But I won’t do that. I’m not gonna do that,” he claimed and sounded like he was convincing himself rather than clearing it up. “Akemi doesn’t deserve a partner who can’t move on from his ex-wife, so I’m doing my best to forget about you.” 

Your breathing took a halt. You weren’t sure where those tiny pricks in your heart came from. Toji needed the same. He deserved a wife who wasn’t pining for her ex-husband. Satoru was just being true. 

“Then, forget about me,” you gave a barely audible reply. 

Gojou pulled away and kept his distance now, showing that he was indeed trying to stick to his words. “I will.” 

Why did it hurt when it shouldn’t have? 

“Good.” 

He looked at you with eyes that carried a million emotions. But what was most visible was him seeing the light, probably realizing that he truly was doing the right thing and that he was proud of himself for being able to resist you. Because then, that only meant he was only a few steps away from the path of moving on. That if he could let you go, then he could live a better life. 

It only made sense why he pulled that little stunt back there—being close enough to you was probably his way of differentiating how his body reacted to you versus how it reacted to Akemi. And now that he was able to determine whatever difference that might be, it would be easier for him to know what exactly to avoid. 

After all, you two would be spending the rest of your lives as a present mom and dad to Sachiro. Co-parenting was your only connection and the only way to make that work without falling for each other was to rid yourselves of any kind of attraction towards one another. 

Good for him. 

“Let’s be good parents, Y/N.” Satoru looked at you from across the pool. “Let’s set a good example for Sachi and show that divorced parents can still be good parents. Let’s not be toxic to each other, especially not in front of him.” His words were coming from his personal experience and as you knew the whole history behind the mess within his family, you were truthfully considerate of his words. His traumatic experiences were what shaped him to become the problematic man you once married, and he was doing his best not to let his own son be the same. “I’ll provide Sachiro with everything he needs and I’ll always be present in his life, so please let me have as much time with him as possible. I’m making up for the three years I lost with him.” 

You nodded. “I don’t have a problem with that. 

As the established relationship you had with Gojou became more professional and strictly transactional, the distance between you two also grew more and more. There was no longer any space for love and intimacy. There was only familiarity and acquaintanceship. 

“Go to sleep soon,” he said without sending another glance your way, climbing out of the pool and reaching for his clothes, “We have a long day tomorrow.” 

love her writing so much ♥️♥️♥️♥️

blank canvas.

problems arise when your tattoo artist boyfriend starts getting too cozy with the girls that wanted him to do more to their bodies than just inking their skin. the thing is, they knew what he wanted and they knew what you couldn’t give.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader

genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract

tags. nudity, insecure!reader, virgin!reader, dry humping, mentions of needles, mentions of cheating, slutshaming

notes. if you’ve been here for a while, yes this is a repost from an old hq fic :’D i rewrote and remodeled it for sukuna bc i feel like he fits this au!

Sukuna had seen it all.

He wasn’t dumb and he most definitely wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was attractive, bringing him a clientele of adoring women who would frequently visit his tattoo parlor. Who could blame them? He was handsome, had a good physique, and an overwhelming aura that pulled the attraction of many women, single or not, who were desperate to vie for his attention. His tattoos and his dyed hair even added to the overall bad boy persona that he had which, to be fair, was a girl’s guilty pleasure. 

The women were very assertive, it seemed, to try and lure Sukuna into their little seduction game. Was he getting tempted into it? No. He was loyal and he’d like to stay loyal to his kind and beautiful girlfriend. After all, winning you over wasn’t as easy as it would with any other girl. 

However, there were certain moments that almost tested his loyalty to you, especially when some of the women would ask to have their tattoos done on the most intimate places of their bodies. 

Take yesterday as an example: one girl asked to have a tattoo on her buttocks and she was certainly more satisfied at the feeling of Sukuna’s palms on her bum rather than the actual tattoo she was getting. And to top it all, she bluntly asked if he offered more service rather than just giving tattoos. Crazy. 

He mentioned it before to you that it was part of his job to give them their desired tattoos no matter which part of their bodies it would be in. It was strictly business. Ironically, despite dating a tattoo artist like himself, you had no single trace of inked art on your body. You were an untouched canvas that would never be painted on. Still, Sukuna respected your choice and he surely respected your boundaries even more. 

He knew that you had always been a gentle girl when he first met you at the floral shop across the street. You were always prim and proper, always dressed modestly, always following the rules, and always doing the right thing. All you cared about was to express your love through the delicate petals you arranged in your flower-scented haven. You were happy to be in your own little bubble, content in the company of fragrant blossoms and soft-spoken solitude. Introverted. Reserved. Pure. Unassuming. He was the exception to your goody-two-shoes nature, because he ended up winning your heart despite being the complete opposite of you. It wasn’t an easy task, either. Deciding to get to know you was on a whim at first, since he was intrigued about your simple joys in life and how you weren’t the type of girls that would visit his tattoo parlor. Something about your demure nature pulled him in until he realized that he wanted nothing else but to make you his. He started by greeting you every morning across the street, to giving you the same bouquet of flowers he bought from you, to sending you a text telling you how beautiful you looked while watching you from his shop, to asking you out on spontaneous dates. 

It may be a bit peculiar to see the two of you together, but Sukuna pursued you because liked you. He was undeniably in love with you. He liked your smile, he liked how cute and adorable you were, and he liked how a simple look at you made him want to be a better man. He loved the idea of being with a girl he could protect. 

The main problem was, Sukuna dropped out of college and just decided to open a tattoo parlor business because he simply didn’t want to waste his years studying for something that he wasn’t passionate about. But that was the source of your parents’ distaste. They told you that you had no future with a guy like him. They said that they would disown you as a daughter if you decided to choose him. They called him dirty, rebellious, and uneducated. 

At that point, he thought that you would leave him after learning his rather reckless choices in life, but you stayed. 

You left your parents home and stayed with him.

And he was grateful that you did. 

So to ask the question again, would he ever do something to betray you after everything that happened between you two? Of course, not. Not in a million years, no

But then again, he was also just doing his job and it wasn’t like he was purposely flirting with the girls that often flocked around him during work hours. He was accommodating a client. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And on one of those typical days, he had to work overtime when one of his returning clients asked for her fifth tattoo to be done by him. He just finished picking up the tools he needed as she walked towards the recliner seat asking, “Should I sit here?” 

He nodded once, turning around to face the girl who looked at him with her alluring eyes. “Yeah, just let me know when you’re ready.” 

Oh yes, she was surely ready. She even had a smirk displayed on her face when she slowly unbuttoned her shirt, keeping her gaze at him while teasingly revealing her busty pair. 

He didn’t really pay attention to the size of her tits but instead, just casually pointed to a certain part of her body, “Is this where you want it?” he asked, referring to her left underboob.

With a very flirtatious grin, she nodded, clearly knowing that her assets were her biggest weapon. “Yes. Would it be easier if I took off my bra, yeah?” 

“You don’t have to, I can work it out,” he casually responded, reaching for his glove and busying himself with all the tool preparations. 

The girl let out a silent giggle along with her best friend who sat on the side, waiting for her turn. Waiting to be the recipient of Sukuna’s full attention. Sigh. 

“No, I can take it off for you,” the girl insisted, unclasping her bra and setting her huge breasts free for him to ogle at. They were perfectly round, probably a 40D, and a light pink shade for her nipples. With how firm they were sitting on her chests, she had probably gotten them done.  

He cleared his throat, averting his eyes as he asked her to sit on the recliner chair. Sukuna had seen women half naked in his shop before, but this was the first time someone willingly got naked in front of him, most especially with other intentions rather than to simply get a tattoo. 

Because of the awkwardness, he went ahead and blasted some heavy metal music to distract his mind. He had to think of something else and not stare at the girl’s luscious tits. He had to shift his mind to somewhere else like, for example, why the girl chose a calligraphy of the words ‘la douleur exquise’ on her skin this time.

“Is this French?” he nonchalantly asked, motioning for her to rest her back while he wiped the chosen area with a damp cotton pad. He specifically avoided brushing his hand on her breast, but it looked like the girl was actually angling herself to make him touch it more. 

“It means exquisite pain,” she purred, batting her thick eyelashes at him. 

His lips formed a smirk, impressed at how much of a skank she was willing to be for him. It wasn’t new, as established before. He’d also had a fair share of women who tried to get into his pants last week, but none of them were successful. He just found it entertaining to watch him do all sorts of stunts to make him give in. To make him submit himself to his carnal desires. He was a man after all. He had needs, he had to get some form of release, otherwise this could pose a problem in his masculinity. 

All while he was getting her tattoo done, the other girl got up from her seat to walk closer to her best friend. Sukuna decided to refer to them in his head as Slut 1 and Slut 2 because he had no intentions of knowing their names. He knew slutshaming was terrible, but he wasn’t a man of virtue and truthfully, how else could he describe them? 

“Hey, Sukuna,” the other girl called, sitting at an empty stool with a smile. “You’re single, right?” 

He kept his eyes focused on the skin he was inking on. “...No.” 

Even from the corner of his eye, he knew that both girls looked surprised, “No way? You have a girlfriend?” 

Was it really that much of a shock? 

“Yeah, she owns the floral shop across the street,” he simply mumbled, wiping the trace of blood on the girl’s skin after he finished another letter. 

There was a visible pout on Slut 1’s face as if knowing that Sukuna had a girlfriend was more painful than the needle pricking at her skin. “So, what’s she like?” 

Sukuna thought for a while because he didn’t know where to begin. It was too much of a long story for them to hear about. You were everything he wanted in a woman and that was all he knew. “She’s cute and kind.” 

His words earned a giggle from Slut 2. “Is she like the good girl type?” 

“She is.” He figured it would be okay to converse about you like this. Besides, he would rather be talking about you than to have these girls just try to flirt with him relentlessly. 

“Let me guess,” Slut 1 said, “She’s a virgin and a prude.” 

That was obviously none of their business, but damn. They hit a nerve that they shouldn’t have. No one else had managed to bring up a topic like that to him, more so a topic that he himself knew not to cross. His sex life wasn’t as fruitful as anyone thought so, yet not once in his life did he complain. Not once did he talk about it to anyone. Not once did he tell anyone that he had been dating you for a year now and you two never really went further than making out. 

“I respect her,” was his answer, much to the two girls’ dismay.

“That’s kinda boring, though,” the other girl claimed, draping her arm around his shoulder before leaning close to his ear. “You’re still a man and you have needs. If I were her, I’d sleep with you every day. In every position.” 

The girl on the recliner chair grinned. “Totally! Like, you’re so hot and I bet you’re good in bed.” 

Fuck. 

He almost messed up one of the letters because his mind just flew to somewhere unforgivable. It was a sin to even think about, but shit, he definitely missed the feeling of fucking someone. He couldn’t even remember the last time he did so. 

“Sukuna?” 

He got out of trance and looked up after hearing the familiar voice only to see you by the door, looking at him with hurt reflecting in your eyes. 

“Hey—” 

Your voice was caught in your throat as you avoided his gaze. “I just... I thought you were done.” 

In a swift motion, you hurriedly walked out of the room before dashing out the door. You didn’t even bother to look back, dead set on leaving him alone with the girls. Your footsteps were far too quick to even catch and he was hoping that you would at least slow down. 

“Babe!” he called, unable to chase after you as you shut the door. An exasperated sigh followed. 

This was going to be a big problem 

Just what was he thinking? 

He had a half naked girl in front of him and another girl clinging to him like he didn’t have a girlfriend. It must have hurt you a lot. 

“Uh-oh...” the girl mocked. “I can sense trouble” 

He decided to leave it be for now and get his job done as soon as possible, even thinking of banning the two girls from going into his shop just to avoid further trouble. He had a lot of explaining to do and he couldn’t wait to go home to make sure that you would listen to him, not overthink the whole thing and place your assumptions because hurting you was the last thing he would do.

At least, he hoped you knew that.   

You were washing the dishes when Sukuna came home and the first thing he did was to wrap his arms around you. He had your waist caged in his tight embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings to you. To be real, you weren’t in the mood to see his face after what you saw this afternoon. You get it—he was exposed to all sorts of people with his line of work and most of them probably couldn’t just ignore his physical appearance. You were aware that some girls were only getting a tattoo to get close to him. Heck, you were aware that they all wanted to be with him.

But the only reason you were hurt wasn’t because he was desired by women, but because those very same women were all better than you in more ways than one. They fit his type more than you did and you were sure that they could give him exactly what he wanted. 

Still, it awfully tugged at your heartstrings. 

He was yours, not theirs. You had the right to be jealous when a girl was getting cozy with your man, but to see him letting them have their way? That was a different story. 

“Baby, talk to me,” he mumbled, planting a soft, apologetic kiss on your neck. 

You gave him the silent treatment, closing the water tap and drying your hands with a towel. What else would you say? He should already be aware of why you were acting that way. He should be the one to try and talk to you, not the other way around. And with your stubborn mind, you did your best to keep your insouciance, pulling his tattooed arms off of you and heading towards the couch. 

You could hear his sigh as he followed you, but you were determined to keep your eyes glued on the TV screen. If he wanted to talk, he should do the talking, you reminded yourself over and over. 

“You’re really pissed at me, huh,” he spoke as soon as he sat next to you, a hand carefully placed on your thigh. “I’m sorry.” 

“They’re pretty hot, aren’t they?” The bitter question left your mouth before you thought of holding back. 

He scooted closer and hooked an arm around your shoulder this time. “Definitely nowhere near as hot as my girlfriend.” 

What a load of… You rolled your eyes, remembering how the girls looked and how comfortable he was with them. “Yeah, right.” 

You couldn’t explain the tightness on your chest every time you recalled the scene earlier because you knew, you just knew, that there was more that could have happened if you didn’t check on him. You saw it in his eyes, even for a split second, that he almost gave in to temptation. How could he not? You were a prude just as they described—just because you didn’t have any sexual experience like they did. Perhaps when they called you boring, they were right and Sukuna wanted to agree. 

He couldn’t be stuck with a girlfriend that he couldn’t even have sex with, could he? 

“I shouldn’t have let them put their hands on me like that,” he admitted, showing his dire attempt to look apologetic. “Only you can.” 

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “I don’t even know why you’re still with me, Sukuna. I put so many boundaries between us. Don’t you get tired of me?” 

“Fuck no,” he quickly answered, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Never. You’re the only one for me.” 

Truth be told, you did feel bad that he couldn’t fully experience you as a girlfriend, but he had been very patient and respectful towards you. He never crossed the line and never forced you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He said he was doing that because you never gave up on him even when you had the choice to. He said that you were worth waiting for. He said that he was satisfied with what you two already had.

Maybe you could let this one incident go, after all, he was never really a bad boyfriend to you. Sure, he looked like a bad boy, but when it came to you, he was surprisingly soft. 

“Okay,” you muttered, sighing in defeat and finally meeting his eyes. “Just don’t do it again. I don’t care if they get naked in front of you. Please set some boundaries and don’t entertain them too much or you’ll give off the wrong impression.” 

Your leniency earned a smile from him, delighted to earn your trust again so he made an effort to peck your lips. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“You love me.” 

“I do,” you professed, placing a hand on his cheek, “so much.” 

Pleased with your words, he leaned in again to give you a much, much deeper kiss. He knew it was all he could do with you, but he wanted to make you feel that his kisses were satisfying enough for the both of you. Just with the way he moved his lips against yours and how your tongue rolled around his—it was almost impossible to breathe at one point, but he softened the kiss to allow yourself to catch some air. 

Gosh, you were jealous again. You were becoming annoyed as your mind ran at full speed, thinking of how those girls thought they could put their hands on your man. You were livid at how they tried to steal him from you. 

“You’re mine, right?” you asked for reassurance, pulling away to look at his dominating eyes. 

The smirk on his lips was replaced by a cheeky grin. “All yours, darling.” 

You didn’t know what gave you the sudden confidence to straddle his lap after he said that, but it just felt right. You wanted more of his physical affection and felt like you couldn’t get enough. Both of you were taken aback, obviously, because this wasn’t something you would normally do, and so the heat on your cheeks was mixing with the surprised look on his face. You were sitting directly on his crotch and he was having a hard time to control himself. 

“Babe,” he breathed on your neck. “You don’t have to force yourself.” 

He was right, but the thought of the other girls constantly seducing him behind your back just gave way to your deepest insecurities. You didn’t have the most perfect body in the world and you most definitely didn’t have the skills in bed that he expected—you were scared that you might lose him because of these facts. Or that he would find someone better, even at the cost of having them on the side. 

“Hey,” he spoke again, making you look at his eyes as you relaxed into his touch. “It’s fine. If you want it, I can be gentle. We can go slow.” 

“I-I don’t know... I just,” you hesitated, not knowing exactly how to put it into words. 

You didn’t know why sex intimidated you. It should be as easy as 1-2-3,  just him putting his member inside you, right? But you weren’t really scared of doing the act itself, you were scared that once you did it, he would leave you because he already got what he wanted. Losing it to the wrong person sounds like a nightmare and that was why you were having trouble coming into terms of losing your virginity before marriage. 

You could feel the hardness on his crotch pressing against your core and you didn’t expect a moan escaping your lips when you moved at the slightest. The fabric of your shorts were thin enough for you to feel the outline of his hardened member, displaying a prominent bulge on his sweatpants. You haven’t seen how big he was, but you could just by looking at his bulge that he was huge. Could you even take that? 

He held your waist and guided you to move again, this time urging you to move your hips back and forth, allowing you to feel the friction from his hard erection. Lust was clouding his eyes and it made you feel weak. 

“How does it feel?” he asked, his hot breath tickling your ear. 

You continued grinding on him with your lips parted, releasing your silent moans, “G-Good.”

He leaned forward to kiss your neck, eventually sucking the soft skin to leave his beautiful marks. “I wanna eat you down there, baby,” he growls under his breath, squeezing your right breast, “You’re gonna taste so good, I bet.” 

“Suku—” you whined, gripping his hair while he started matching your movements with his own. It was a foreign feeling for you to feel his bulge rubbing against your untouched core. 

“Fuck,” he cussed in a low voice, squeezing your ass with his huge hands in growing excitement. “Let me get a condom.” 

This was it. 

It was happening. 

Or was it?

Your eyes widened in panic as you pushed him back onto the couch. It was as though all of your senses were awakened and your body was telling you that you shouldn’t be doing all this. “N-No, I... I’m not ready.” 

You didn’t mean to always chicken out when you two were almost about to do it. You just didn’t feel confident enough to give yourself yet and even if you badly wanted to, you just couldn’t make yourself do it.

You could see the hint of disappointment on his face and he was trying to hide it. 

“Right,” he exhaled deeply with his head thrown back on the headrest. “It’s alright. Maybe next time,” he convinced himself. 

“I’m sorry,” you softly mumbled, hand gripping on his shirt. 

He gave you a quick peck on the lips before pulling you out of his lap and getting up from the couch. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine.” 

You stayed seated as you watched him walk away. “Where are you going?” 

“I have to finish this off on my own,” he answered without looking back. You realized he was referring to the act of touching himself because you just couldn’t do the job for him. It was obvious how frustrated he was and for goodness sake, you did feel guilty, but then again, he didn’t act like this before. When you told him you didn’t want to do it further, he would simply laugh it off and say he would wait for you. 

This wasn’t the same Sukuna that said that. 

You became a little paranoid. 

Considering that girls would still pay your boyfriend a visit at the tattoo parlor, you always ended up overthinking about what he was doing while you were supposed to be busy at the floral shop. In the middle of arranging a bouquet of beautiful peonies, your mind was on haywire. You just didn’t feel at ease. You felt like anyone could easily snatch him away from you because you weren’t particularly a striking girl to begin with. You were leaning on the simple, conservative side rather than the rebellious, liberated women that swarmed his shop in hopes of sleeping with him. 

Because your thoughts were eating you alive, you decided to head to his tattoo parlor after closing the shop to make sure that he wasn’t doing any funny business. 

And you were somehow right. 

About three girls were in there this time, two of which you had already seen a couple of days ago, and they were already leaving the parlor just as you arrived. 

“You’re really amazing, Sukuna,” one of the girls told him in gratitude, “I might get another one soon.” 

You watched them walk past you with a smug expression on their faces as they left the shop. Sukuna had then seen you standing by the door with your arms crossed. 

“Really?” you questioned, walking inside with a frown. “They’re here again?” 

He sighed and walked back to his station while cleaning the mess from the tattoo session. He wasn’t even trying to win you over anymore. “I can’t just ask them not to come anymore. They’re still clients.”

“Let me guess,” you continued, “Did one of them get naked in front of you again? Did you let them put their hands all over you again? Did you perhaps forget that you had a girlfriend again?” 

His brows, now furrowed in annoyance and his mouth, thinning in displeasure. “No. We talked about this.” 

You held your breath, raising a brow in return. “I’m starting to think you’re doing more for them than just giving them tattoos.” 

“Like, what? Sell my body?” His question was clearly a taunt. A spasm of irritation crossed his face, but he still managed to display a mocking smile. “Is that what you’re suggesting, angel?”

“That’s not what I—”

“Then, what?” 

“You know what I mean,” you replied, trying to get your point across while keeping your composure. “You’re an attractive man and they’re the type of women you would willingly sleep with.” 

“Jesus. You’re so insecure, it’s crazy,” he retorted, rolling his eyes at you. 

Insecure? You couldn’t believe, just couldn’t believe he called you insecure. The air crackled with tension as your jaw tightened, muscles twitching with every suppressed urge to lash out.

“I wonder why!” Your voice rose hysterically. “If you weren’t busy flirting with those girls, maybe I won’t be so insecure.” 

“I said I’m not flirting with them!” he argued, slamming his gloves on the floor. His face contorted into a mask of rage and He looked at you with frustration that you had never seen before. It hurt. It certainly hurt. He had been acting distant since the night you didn’t give in to him and you knew that his exasperation towards you was rooting from that. 

Your breathing became unsteady. “But you know you’d sleep with them if given the chance. Since I couldn’t do it with you.” 

“Then, just fucking do it with me instead of bitching about it every day!” he snapped, voice thick with insinuation. “I don’t wanna be stuck acting like I give two shits about your interest in flowers and whatever nonsense you like to talk about. I wanna be with someone I can have sex with, not sit on the couch all day with a boring person like you!” 

His hurtful words left you frozen like a statue, unable to move while being dominated by the shooting pain inside your chest. 

You knew this day would come—that he would eventually get tired of waiting around for something that he could easily get from others. However, what hurt you most was the fact you believed he wasn’t that type of guy. That he wasn’t with you solely for what you could give, but rather, for what you just had. You thought he sincerely understood your boundaries and respected your choices the very same way you respected his, but it seemed that he had another thought in his head all along. 

After seeing the look on your face, Sukuna had softened his gaze and walked closer to you in reproach to his words and actions, “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean that.” 

A tear fell from your eye as you looked at him with both anger and pain building inside of you. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You wanna have sex? Is that what you want?” Your voice cracked in the middle of your sentence. “You wanna do it so bad, let’s fucking do it, then!” 

Your fingers forced their way to spitefully unbutton your blouse despite his desperate efforts to stop you. You must be going crazy. But also, he drove you to this point. 

“Baby, no,” he said in remorse, grabbing your wrists tightly. “No, I’m sorry. I’m content with you. I really am, I’m sorry. Please.” 

Your chest heaved as you cried, unable to stop your emotions from exposing all of your vulnerabilities. “It’s obviously not enough for you.” Your voice quivered, each word a fragile whisper trembling with the weight of unspoken sadness as you sniffled and wiped your eyes. “You knew what kinda girl I am when you dated me.”

He pulled you for a hug and kissed your temple way too many times that you lost count. He felt absolutely sorry for ever hurting you with his words, but they just hit you so painfully to the point that your gaze grew distant and your face was clouded with resignation. 

“I know what kinda girl you are and I’m in love with you for it,” he reaffirmed, as if trying to get it through your head but his words were beginning to feel empty. “Please, believe me. I really didn’t mean what I said. You’re enough for me, baby. You’re all I want.” 

You didn’t feel comfort from his words, but you still returned his embrace because you loved him. Because you knew, even if he said more hurtful words, that you would still love him. Sure, you would be angry, but your love for him ruled higher than your pride. 

You were just scared of losing him over something like this. 

“I love you so much,” he whispered in your ear before placing a soft, apologetic kiss on your lips. 

When he pulled away, your heart still felt heavy, but you managed to conceal your face with an agonizing smile. 

“I love you, too.” 

He ran his thumb across your cheek and held your waist on his other hand. You just couldn’t get his words out of your head even after he apologized, because you never knew he was seeing your relationship that way all along. 

The girls were right. He was a man after all and he had needs. 

The fact that he was staying with you despite not fulfilling his needs must be a work of charity for him, and eventually, he would get sick of waiting around. He would desire you less and less the more the days passed by and it wasn’t absolutely crazy to think that he could potentially meet another girl he liked that was willing to give it all. 

The mere thought of it scared you. 

“I’ll do it with you tonight,” you offered, your voice breaking, hoping that you could finally break the barrier and be enough for him. 

tolerate it masterlist

⟶ SUMMARY : Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.

⟶ GENRE : heavy angst, one-sided love, forced marriage, infidelity, smut

⟶ RATING : 18+

⟶ WC : 6k [ongoing]

⟶ WARNINGS : A N G S T, sadness, heartbreak, one-sided love, taehyung is an asshole, husband!taehyung, infidelity, angst, divorce, more as story progresses.

MASTERLIST ₊˚✧ TAGLIST₊˚✧ PLAYLIST

‧₊˚ CHAPTERS INDEX

⟶ chapter one [ 6.5k ]

Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.

⟶ chapter two [ coming soon ]

Attempting to divorce Kim Taehyung proves to be harder than you thought, especially when your heart gets in your way.

⟶ chapter three [ coming soon ]

The end.

⟶ FAQ ;

when do you update?

i believe chapter 2 will take less time than chapter three, but we’ll see!

how many chapters will this series have in total?

3 chapters!

can i be on your taglist?

of course !! please fill the form on top of the post & i will be adding u <3

When The Party’s Over Masterlist (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

➥ Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, forbidden relationship, violence, public sex, jealousy, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, corruption, loss of virginity, forced pregnancy, innocent reader, Heyward!reader, dad!Rafe

Keep reading

dishonesty;03

don't hurt yourself

summary: the journey of a broken-hearted woman and a remorseful man into the search of healing and forgiveness.

pairing: kim seokjin x reader (infidelity au)

inspiration: “anger” written by warsan shire, don't hurt yourself by beyoncé.

warnings: grammatical mistakes, cheating, profanity, violence, strong language.

a/n: chapter three is out! this bad boy was a ride and probably i will be back later for some corrections. however, i hope you enjoy it. as always likes, reblogs and your commentaries are always appreciated. happy reading!

"if it's what you truly want ... i can wear her skin over mine. her hair over mine. her hands as gloves. her teeth as confetti. her scalp, a cap. her sternum, my bedazzled cane. we can pose for a photograph, all three of us. immortalized ... you and your perfect girl.

why can't you see me? why can't you see me? why can't you see me? everyone else can."

His side of the bed is cold and empty at dawn.

What a fucking surprise! Your dear husband leaves in the morning without a goodbye. Honestly, you would have called him to tell him he can go and fuck himself if it weren’t for the pounding on your head because of all the crying you did the night before, as a matter of fact, it was his fucking fault.

As if he were to feel guilty.

You wonder if the blonde with nice tits is giving him a nice blowjob right now; hopefully and if you are lucky enough, she will rip his dick off with her teeth. What a sight would be.

Mindlessly stirring your cup of steaming coffee, you enjoy the quiet morning by yourself. The warmth of the sun entering from the kitchen window and the beautiful sound of birds chirping - a rare sound in a busy city like Seoul - brings peace to your wounded soul. The calm before the storm, still, you are going to enjoy it no matter how long it will last. You let out a sigh before raising the cup to your lips, enjoying the delicious aroma of your beverage, but sadly when you are about to take a sip of the bitter yet relaxing taste, your phone rings. Kim fucking Seokjin’s face is shown on the screen.

He couldn’t just leave you alone, couldn't he? As if he hadn't fucked up your marriage enough, and now he wants to shit in your morning too. Great. Just fucking great.

You really make a giant effort to bite back the curse at the tip of your tongue when you hear his breathing at the other side of the line. “What?”

“Love-” Seokjin’s voice sounds croaky through the speaker, “I am sorry for not saying goodbye this morning. There—” he pauses, gulping down saliva, “was an emergency at work.”

“Right," the sound of his voice unpleasantly irks you while his pathetic excuses make you sick. Now the truth is out there, you can't stand his act of caring husband. “If you have nothing else to say, I will hang up,” you take your phone away from your ear, ready to end the call and return to the rest of your already ruined morning.

Seokjin cries out from the phone, "Wait!”

You put him on speaker after a roll of your eyes, deciding to start with your breakfast. You are not going to starve just because he wants to cry a little on the phone. “Are you mad at me? I am sorry, my love. I know I have been acting like a dick for the last months,” you suppress a mocking laugh while stabbing with a fork a cut piece of fruit and taking it to your mouth. The sweet taste of the strawberries calms your nerves as, against your own will, your heart warms a bit at his half-assed apology.

Fucking traitor.

“Now you realize?”

“I know I have been acting like a bad husband. Work has been rough and instead of running to you, I have been pushing you away. I am so sorry.”

You don’t understand the sudden change of heart. He was smug and defensive about his hidden side chicks last night, but now he wants to mend broken bridges? Fucking psychopath.

He continues with a slight tremble in his voice, “But I have been true with my heart. You don’t need to worry because you are the only woman I love.”

Your grip on your fork tightens, turning your knuckles white. He is lying like he always does because you definitely don’t do something like this to someone you love. If he loves you so fucking much, why he was sticking his dick and burying his tongue in fresh pussy? You breathe through your nose, already feeling tired of his bullshit.

“There is not another man above you, Seokjin. Do you know that?” You heard him take a shaky breath through the speaker. Good. At least he has the decency of feeling guilty. “Don’t pull that type of shit again. If you do, you are going to lose your wife.”

You hope he catches the double meaning of your words.

“I know,” he lets out a painful sigh before he changes the subject. “This emergency at work has obliged us to advance the concerts in Tokyo. I will leave today and not next week,” you frown, how strange, yet you let the worry go away. Maybe he has promised a fuck-vacation to one of his mistresses. Son of a bitch, he probably gets off with deceiving your sacred vows. “In an hour, I will be at our home for my luggage. I was wondering-” he trails off nervously. “If you can come with me to the airport. I want to see you before I have to go.”

The audacity of wanting your affections. Fuck him.

“I am busy today.”

“Oh,” he sounds disappointed, but you don't have the desire to please him, to bend your wants and needs just so he can feel better. He lost that right. “It is okay. Don’t worry. Just work hard like always. I will call you when I arrive, okay?” You hum, taking a sip of your warm coffee.

“I love you.”

You hang up, not even bothering to say it back.

Surprisingly, Seokjin is true to his promise about calling you when he arrives at his hotel in Tokyo.

If only he had been true to the promises of love and loyalty, he made you in the fucking altar.

Your phone rings around four times, but you don’t bother reaching for the device even when it lights up in the darkness of your room. Talking to him is the last thing you need or want. Instead, you decide to close your eyes and turn to your left side, your back towards the night table, where your phone keeps vibrating with the useless efforts of a man who is too late.

The next day he calls you again. Midway working in some correction of an open Word document, you heard the first keys of a piano, followed by the voice you had come to adore in all these years, but now instead of the butterflies in your stomach and the strong sense of pride, you feel a heavy knot form on your stomach.

After taking a deep breath, your fingers hover over the “accept video call”, debating if you had the guts of talking with him. If you are able to have a civil conversation without cursing him out and blurting that you know his dirty little secret.

“A lion is still a lion even in a cage.” Grandma was a fucking badass, and you have her blood running in your veins, so in a bravery streak, you accept the call.

The first thing to greet you is plump heart-shaped lips curved in a bright smile and beautiful almond eyes sparkling with undying adoration. His black hair falls on his forehead which gives him a youthful look. The man greeting you through the screen reminds you of the man he used to be before he frayed the string tying you together.

The man who blushed prettily and stuttered when he spilled coffee all over himself on your first date. The same man who gazed down at you with stars in his eyes when he lifted your white veil.

How dare he? How dare he look at you as if he was the same man?

“Good morning, my love. How are you?” He brightly cheers, the camera moving a little as he sits at the bottom of his bed. You give a look around, since the limited view, you have of his hotel room. He looked relaxed, even when he spent a lot of time blowing your phone last night. You wonder if one of his side chicks followed him to Japan. God spare you from catching a glimpse of a naked woman walking around.

“What do you want?” The smile on his face falters a little, but the look in his eyes does not change. You know he can see in your face all the anger slowly building up, meant to explode in an ugly way.

If he is taken back by your harsh tone, he doesn't show it.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asks patiently, a soft expression taking in his beautiful features.

You feel heat rise on your spine. Does he expect you to be happy and proud about the fact that your husband is going around your back and fucking a different girl every night?

“I am not mad, Seokjin. I am just busy. I don't have a lot of time to spare.”

He ignores your dismissive tone, and how your eyes stay on your laptop screen.

“Are you working on your new manuscript?”

“Yes.”

“Did you fix the problem you had about that scene of the lake? I know you were so stressed about it.”

“Yes, I did.”

He tries again.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Yes.”

You know you are being petty, but you are not in the mood of entertaining him in pleasantries. You want to cool down a little because if you are going to chew his head off it is not going to be through a video call and when he is in another country.

After a few more seconds, you hear him sigh painfully as if you were hurting him. As if he wasn't the same to you just a mere few days ago.

“Love. Look at me, please.”

You turn your face towards the phone screen whilst feeling hatred towards yourself. Why do you keep being weak for him?

“Seokjin, I-”

“I am sorry, I know I have been horrible to you, and you don't deserve the way I have been treating you. But I don't want to lose you over something like this.” He breathes out, head facing down for a second. And you wonder why he suddenly looks so conflicted, however, the expression of agony on his face is gone before you can ask about it. He continues with a fervent tone, “Tell me what can I do to make it up to you? What do you want? I would do anything you want.”

Anything you want? You wanted his loyalty. You wanted his respect. You wanted his love. But it is too late for that, isn't it?

You open your mouth to speak, yet a sudden knock on his door, followed by a man's voice calling his name, interrupts you. Your time is up, and low-key you are grateful for it because if it wasn't for it, you probably would reveal that you know about his indiscretions.

The inevitable confrontation is yet to come, but you want to hold in this anger a little longer.

“I have to go.” Your husband announces apologetic while rubbing his forehead with the hand not holding his phone. “I will call you later, okay?”

You give him a simple nod, not having anything anymore to say.

His gaze softens, chocolate irises melting in love and adoration. Why does he keep hurting you like this?

“I love you.”

You smile politely at him, before disconnecting the call.

That is how your routine is established for the next few days. Every day or night, he calls to ask about your day, and you give quick answers, working on your manuscripts as he talks. Then you ask about his day, and he tells you about it. Your conversations are cordial and civil, but both of you know that things are not right between you. He sees it in the way you ignore the tenderness of his voice when he says he loves you with all his heart, and in the way, you cannot bring yourself to reply to the words.

He doesn’t hold it against you. It is like an unspoken agreement between you two about forgetting these last months. He is too much of a coward to confess his sins against you, and you are too much of a lovesick fool to bring it to the table.

Five days after he has left, he finally has the courage to take the next step toward a reconciliation that doesn't feel right. That day you wake up to a beautiful bouquet of violets delivered to your home. Violets. Loyalty and Love. You almost laugh about the irony. The bouquet is gorgeous, and you put the flowers in a vase with water, so they could live a bit more, although, you can help but see it as an “apology” for the woman he probably is fucking in Tokyo.

Later in the day, you meet with Jia and Sooyoung, your two closest friends, for lunch.

“Is everything okay with Jin?” Jia, all pretty in her pink blouse and white mini skirt, asks midway, inhaling her piece of chocolate cake. Her manicured fingers drum against the table when she lets the dessert invade her taste buds. Sooyoung next to her shifts her sharped gaze from one of the cute servers to you. You get distracted a little by how alluring her eyes look with her eyeliner.

Apart from his cheating ways, everything is wonderful.

You shrug, enjoying your lemon pie. “He is in Tokyo, like Yoongi.”

Jia smiles dreamily after hearing the name of her boyfriend, a love-struck expression forming on her face at which you lower your gaze as you scratch the fork you have been using against your dessert plate. You hate the sound, but it distracts you from the invasive thought of the way your relationship with your husband used to be. However, her happy expression doesn't last because soon Jia´s face turns serious, eying you in worry after she hears your flat tone. Maybe because she is used to you talking about Seokjin as if he hung up the stars in the sky.

“Yes, I know, “she shares a look with Sooyoung, one you pretend not to notice. ” Yoongi has been secretive these days. I know something is bothering him, but he doesn’t want to spill,” she pouts, fork catching another bite of chocolate. “My baby works so hard.”

You roll your eyes at seeing how sure she is about her boyfriend’s loyalty.

“Maybe they are stressed,” Sooyoung chirps, gaze going back to the blonde girl taking the order of an old couple. “Probably is hard to do concerts much earlier than expected.”

“It was strange.” Jia agrees, chin resting on her right palm, with her pinky flexed against her cheek. “Hope everything is good. Let me know if you figure it out. "Your friend gives you a comforting smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes, as if she suspects something was not right.

You don't question it, instead, you give a simple nod of your head in acknowledgment and feel relieved about the conversation wavering to Sooyoung, who is getting ready to hunt the server she has been eyeing. Yet, a few hours later, when you give Sooyoung a lift to her house, she asks again if everything is alright. You provide the exact answer you have given your parents, and everyone else.

“Everything is going well.”

You won’t find the strength to confess to either of them the truth. How could you do it? How could you tell them you weren’t able to keep your husband from straying? Your parents would feel disappointed if they discover that your marriage has been a complete failure, especially since only happy couples exist in your family.

Happy, long marriages without unfaithful husbands.

Sooyoung does not ask more questions, even when you see in her face the itch of doing it. But she doesn't miss the opportunity of hugging your goodbye, much tighter than other times.

“Whatever has happened with Jin, it is his own fault. You always have been too much for that fucker.”

You laugh at her remark even when deep down, you wonder if that is true.

As if you were a part of a bad fucking movie, the dirty secrets of your fucking husband spill out of the bag in the worst possible way.

On the exact same day, he returns from Tokyo, the news caught you inside your car parked in front of the coffee shop where you usually meet with your editor. Your phone rings midway sending her some details of your recent manuscript; a notification of an incoming call from “Jia '' appears suddenly at the top of the screen.

She is calling even when she knows you had a work meeting. Something she never does, not even at that time when she fell down on her work stairs, broke her ankle, and needed someone to pick her up from the hospital because Yoongi was out of town. You remember a receptionist of the hospital had to call you because her stubborn ass was worried she would interrupt you.

You immediately pick up.

“Where are you?”

You frown at the urgency of her voice, putting the phone on speaker, and turning the car around, starting to drive towards her place, “Are you okay?

“I am okay, but where are you? Are you home?”

“No, I just met with my editor.”

At that exact moment, a call from her enters. You quickly declined it while making a mental note to return it later.

“Go home. You are not safe in the streets!” She screams through the speaker, a quiver in her voice that makes you realize she is making an effort to hold back tears.

You open your mouth to ask her again if she is okay when you hear a deep voice talking in the background.

Yoongi.

He calls for Jia, a fade “Baby, please, calm down” reaches your ears followed by more hushed words. A heavy knot forms in your stomach when you hear your name being spoken between aggressive whispers.

Something is wrong.

As you stop at the intersection waiting for the traffic light to turn green, fingers nervously drumming against the steering wheel before you heard Jia´s usually sweet voice answer with a “Get out of my house and go fuck yourself, you selfish bastard.”

You feel drops of sweat slide down from your neck to your back. Your Jia is not aggressive, much less to Yoongi, the man she is hopelessly in love with.

“Jia, what is going on?”

Silence is your only answer before you hear her tapping on her phone. One second later, a notification of a message from her appears on your screen. “I am sorry, baby. I am so sorry. If I had known I would have told you.”

At the painful tone of her voice, you don't waste a second yanking your phone from its holder as you rush to park on one side of the street. Jia´s irregular breathing falls to your ears as you open the text message and click on the link she sent you. Your heart contracts, lungs being crushed by the sudden press on your chest as a sob gets stuck in your throat.

“Scandal! Kim Seokjin´s and Park Minyoung’s infamous sex tape goes viral!”

“The actress of the new drama “Love is in the air” just like you have never seen her before. Click for more spicy details of this new scandal!”

“I will call you later.”

Jia cries out your name, but it falls on deaf ears as you hang up the phone without waiting to hear what she has to say. Eyes fixed on the gossip article, you let one trembling finger hover on the link to the video that you know will hurt you deeply.

Is it really worth it to put you through that torture? What is better . . . Know or not to know? Being kept in the dark?

You shut your eyes close for a second, reuniting the courage needed, and after letting out a jagged breath, you finally press play.

It is worse than your nightmares.

She lies on her back, ebony long hair thrown on the pillow, plump breasts with taut nipples moving with every impact her slim body receives between her open long legs placed neatly over broad shoulders.

“Shit, you are sucking me in, slut.”

Hearing his voice felt like a slap to the face, but you refused to move your eyes from her.

“Do you like it when I treat you like the whore you are? Am I right, dumb slut?” Her hands go to her jiggling tits.

“Yes, I love it. I love being your dumb slut.”

“Fucking whore. Take my cock deeper.”

“Fuck, I am coming, daddy!”

The look on her face is hypnotizing; the way her mouth falls open in a silent scream, the bits of drool leak to her chin, and the way her eyes roll to the back of her head as she loses herself in ecstasy. Bile rises to your throat because as she is sent to cloud nine, another naked figure comes closer to the camera, making it impossible not to see him.

You watch helplessly the way his strong and firm hands grip one of her tights while the other sneaks around her waist as he keeps thrusting, fucking her through her high. His head lowers to her chest, black hair falling on her collarbones as he takes a nipple on her mouth. She cries out, high-pitched screams getting louder when he decides to move one of his hands lower, the rough pad of his fingers rubbing her clit.

God, he used to pull the same move with you.

Nausea hits you followed by a pang of killing pain on your chest, but you don’t stop the video, completely fixed in the way your husband fucks one of his side chicks.

He is close, judging by his grunts and the stuttering of his hips. You know that dance by heart. Finally, he pulls out of her, red cock glistening with her juices.

“Please, give it to me.” He keeps his dark eyes on her swollen pussy as he strokes himself. Once, twice and then he lets out a husky groan followed by spurts of warm and thick cum falling into her toned stomach. She moans at the feeling, looking completely delighted with being bathed by your husband's come. The screen fades to black with the view of her red lips curving in a stupid smile, the epitome of a woman satisfied after being fucked dumb.

Silence engulfs you for a second, your brain trying to process the cruel mockery he has made of you.

Then hell breaks inside you.

Your phone falls carelessly on the floor of the car as you throw yourself out, unfocused gaze and a high pitch on your ears shifting the world around you. Acid vomit returns to your throat leaving a burn behind when you finally double over in a trash can placed some steps ahead of your car.

Son of a bitch. Who the fuck does he think you are?

He has made an idiotic fool of you.

For God’s sake, you let him do this to you.

You kick the trash can with all your force causing the metal to quiver at the force before wiping roughly your mouth with the back of your hand. Blood boils in your veins as you return to your car, fully pressing the gas pedal, not caring about the fact you are driving at over speed.

The world suddenly looks red, a burning fire engulfing everything you see.

The ringtone of your phone obligates you to take a look at your phone. Jia calls, followed by Sooyoung. Yoongi calls next as well as Hoseok and Jungkook. The audacity. Your grip on the steering wheel tightens when you see the names of his bandmates appear on the screen. Now they want to speak. Where were they when your husband was cheating on you?

They knew.

You are sure of it, especially when they spend all day together. All the excuses, nervous words, and pity eyes now make sense. You have done everything for them, have loved them like actual brothers, and they have betrayed you in return.

Seokjin is the last to call.

You block his number immediately.

You arrive at the HYBE building with a scratch of your wheels on the pavement. The guard at the main door doesn’t try to stop you when you burst through the glass doors, instead, he just gives you a glance full of pity. They know. All these people know about your husband’s dirty laundry.

You hold the tears wanting to escape. Suicide before they see them falling down, before allowing him to keep humiliating you.

Your footsteps are loud on the big hallways as you rush towards the biggest dance practice room of the building.

“What are you doing here?” A flustered Soobin greets you at the door of the practice room. The door wide open allows you to catch a glimpse of some TXT and ENHYPEN members inside along with some staff members.

“Where is he?” The boy gulps, eyes going through some people of the staff who avoid your burning stare.

You know these people; you were there when the company was struggling to stay afloat. You used to share laughs, help around, and bring food for all of them too because you recognized their big role in BTS's success. Maybe that is the reason why they don't stop Soobin from blurting out a nervous “Conference Room.”

A yelp of your name escapes Jimin’s lips when he sees you walk past him on your way toward the conference room. His rushed steps mixed with Taehyung’s voice pleading you to wait to make you quicken your pace. Somehow Jungkook’s voice is added to the chase.

It hurts. He was like a little brother to you. How nice of him for not giving a flying fuck about you.

The door of the conference room slams against the wall at your rough push, and as you expected, the fucking couple of the year is inside.

Park Min Young standing there, between Seokjin’s arms. Her slim arms tangled around his neck, her lips against his while his hands grip her waist.

Strike three, you are fucking out.

Everything happens fast. Seokjin’s eyes widened as he pushed Minyoung away, causing her to stumble and hit herself with the large table behind her. Your husband opens his mouth with a dumb expression on his face, but his pathetic explanations are not necessary.

Without a single word, you take off your wedding and engagement rings from your fingers, taking a moment to look at them. They are beautiful, pure gold and a big diamond, but now after seven years and a betrayal, they mean nothing. You hurl them with all your force towards him before turning around on your feet and shoving past Jimin and Taehyung stuck at the door.

“Wait!” Seokjin calls out, “Please, love, wait a minute.” Rushed footsteps and desperate voices dangerously came closer.

You almost break into a sprint when a warm hand catches your wrist, pulling you back towards a hard body that smells like the sweet fabric softener you bought for him in your favorite grocery shop. You laugh bitterly at the realization. He is always going to mean more, always be more important to them than you.

Nice of them to show their true colors now.

You turn around slowly, encountering a pair of doe pleading eyes staring at you. “Where were you when I needed you to speak out?” Jungkook’s face crumbles, lower lip trembling and eyes watering. “If you had a little love left for me, you would stop him. “

He hesitates for a moment. You see the battle inside his head, and you don't know if it is guilt or leftover affection that moves him to let go of your hand before taking a few steps back. He sniffs, cleaning his nose with the back of his hand. “I am sorry.”

You believe he is.

“I know.”

Your heart rate increases with every step you give, and your keys almost slip off your trembling hands when you try to open the driver’s door, yet, in the corner of your eye, you notice his black Honda parked in his usual spot on the parking agency lot, next to the spot where you parked your own car. You let out a maniac laugh, and maybe it is pettiness, but you don't resist the urge to let your car keys run against one side of the vehicle. The satisfying sound of metal against metal leaves behind an ugly white line on the car’s paint.

His favorite one.

You return home driving at over speed. Time is running out. Paparazzi will be over you soon. Bargaining on your mansion, you don’t waste a second on packing your stuff. Clothes are ripped from the hangers, beauty products sweep off from your vanity, and electronics are picked up from your desk before shoving them in the suitcases that you sloppily throw on the backseat of your car. But before you can take off and leave behind the house full of memories, you remember one of your favorite parent’s portraits inside the house, obligating you to go back.

The portrait is neatly placed in the living room next to the television and photographs immortalizing happier times. Carefully taking the photograph out of its frame, you put it inside of one of your jean’s pockets, and for a mere second, you allow yourself to glimpse at the happier times.

In one, you are next to Seokjin, who has his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Both of you making silly faces to the camera, a glimpse of new and pure love shining on your faces. This is the memory of the time when you just started dating. In another, the both of you are on the floor. One of his arms around your waist and one hand holding yours against his lips, kissing your ring finger, with a sparkling diamond ring on. Hoseok took that photo after you threw yourself at Seokjin, screaming yes, without waiting for him to finish his speech.

The cherry on top was your wedding picture. Foreheads together, arms holding you tenderly, and beautiful eyes admiring you with so much adoration. You removed it from your bedroom when looking at it became unbearable.

The muscles of your back tense as your mouth turns dry and by impulse you let your feet guide you towards the storeroom on the first floor, where you know Seokjin saves his sports equipment.

His baseball bat feels heavy between your steady hands. You are aware of the damage you can cause, the imminent chaos you have to bring to avenge a little part of your broken heart. So, with a scream, you swing the bat, taking down all the photographs and the television. Broken glass smashes to the floor, leaving behind a soothing buzz on your veins.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Bad motherfucker. A selfish bastard who has destroyed your life.

You take a pair of scissors from the kitchen on your way to your shared bedroom, eyes fixed on the closet where only his clothes are still hanging. Your fingers caress the expensive cloth of one of his suits, before merciless cutting one sleeve off. The rest of his suits, favorite shirts, and a Louis knit with that disgusting smell of vanilla have the same faith. In the bathroom, you swig at his expensive beauty products and perfumes, leaving behind a mess of broken glasses and liquid on the marble tiles. Not forgetting to give a good hit to the mirror.

A fucking clown. He has exposed you to the media like that.

His home office has the same fate. The baseball bat leaves cracks on the wood of his desk with every blow you deliver with all your strength. Your range tantrum soon is diverted to the items showing his success through the years.

Music awards, platinum disks, pictures, and music equipment.

It is because of you.

You have helped him to become that man with the world at his feet. Still, he dared to throw you away like a rag doll because he found fresh and young pussy to fuck. He believes he is so almighty, so above you that he can do whoever he wants.

Such a fool with a god complex.

His home office door opens abruptly, letting Kim mother-fucking Seokjin rush inside with disheveled clothes and red eyes. He doesn’t flinch when you slam the bat on his desk.

“Baby,” He breathes out, “Just listen to me. I can explain,” his tormented gaze bores on you, tainted hands trying to reach for yours. “I am sorry, okay? I was so wrong. “He takes a few timid steps in your direction.

“One step closer, and I will break your fucking kneecaps!” His eyes widen at your colorful choice of words. His patient little wife is dead now. He better get used to it. “Leave me alone. There is nothing to explain.” You shove him out of the door, bat dropping to the floor with a loud thud on your way out.

“Listen to me, please. I was going to tell you,” He insists, following you down the stairs and to the kitchen. “I was scared. I love you with all my heart. Please understand. I was afraid of losing you—”

“Who the fuck do you think I am, Seokjin? You didn’t marry an average bitch. Don’t you dare to sell me your cheap excuses!”

His lips tremble at your harsh tone, slightly grimacing at the sight of you violently opening one of the cabinet’s kitchens to take out a bottle of wine. Under his worried gaze, you open it and drink straight from the bottle.

“Listen—”

“What are you going to say now that you have humiliated me?” he shuts his mouth close, lowering his head while his hands turn into fists at his sides. “Not only you have been fucking around with your harem of side chicks, but you also recorded yourself with one of them.”

He snaps his head to you. “I-“

You let out a sardonic laugh. “I have been aware of this mockery for months.” Bitterness drips from your tone, “And I did nothing because I loved you. I forced myself to believe your lies, so I could keep you. I gave you everything about me and still wasn’t enough for you!”

“You were enough! You have always been more than enough!” Seokjin rushes towards you, trying to take you between his arms. He won't touch with the same dirty hands that pleasured another woman. Afraid of feeling his touch, you reach for one of the dirty dishes inside the sink, tossing it at him. The plate crashes on the floor when he ducks it in time. “You have always been my love. I have always loved you. I am sorry!”

“Kiss my ass, Seokjin! I don’t believe a fucking word that comes out of your dirty mouth.” You step back when he tries to come closer to you, but he is faster because this time he manages to place his hands in your arms. “Let me go! Fucking let me go!”

“Listen to me, please!”

“I don't want to! How can I even smell her on you? Did you fuck her today?” Seokjin stumbles back at your desperate rough push. His face pales after hearing your words but doesn't try to defend himself. “Coward. You can’t even admit it to my face.”

So many emotions pass through his face, and then you see a dangerous glint take over his eyes. Anger he doesn't deserve to feel, not when it is because of him that you both are in the eye of the hurricane.

“I did it! Is what you want to hear? I fucked her in the studio. I ate her out, then I fucked her until she was begging me to stop, and I fucking enjoy it—”

Who the fuck does he think he is?

The loud sound of your hand against his cheek breaks his trail of words, face jerking to the side.

You stay there, hand still in the air accompanied by a burning sensation all over the skin of your palm. A deep feeling of regret starts to lie heavily on your chest, regret that you obligate yourself to stubbornly swallow.

After an excruciating second, he looks back at you with watery eyes and his large palm against his burning cheek, and soon the regret turns into disgust when you catch a glimpse of the shine of his wedding ring. The ring he wore on his finger every time he fucked around with his mistress, the ring he saw every time he betrayed your trust, but it wasn't enough to stop him, to make him think about the pain and humiliation he would bring you.

He looks pathetic.

As if some tears would be enough to fix this mess, enough to fix your broken heart, enough to turn back in time and erase all the disrespect and humiliation he has brought you.

He can cry you a fucking river if he wants, but it would not make a difference.

You take a menacing step towards him, voice low and dripping venom.

“When you hurt me, you only hurt yourself. Don’t you realize?” He bites his lower lip, pathetic tears clinging to his long eyelashes. “You are free to go back to keep fucking your harem and keep recording sex tapes with them. I don’t care, but I will tell you this: you could never recreate me, Kim Seokjin. You would never find in another woman what you had with me. And you would never find a woman who loves you the way I did.”

Both of you know the absolute truth in your words.

The noise of a commotion outside adverts your attention to the large window in the living room. As you had expected, a flock of paparazzi, as well as reporters, are fighting to enter your property. You turn to your husband with a smirk.

“Look at that,” you point at the scene happening outside. He keeps his eyes on the floor. “This is what you wanted. You can call Minyoung, so we can pose for the photographs together. Immortalized, my love. You, me, and one of your perfect girls.”

A whimper coming from him is your only answer.

You can destroy them if you want.

Tear them apart like a lion. Use their skin over yours. Their hands as gloves. Their fucking teeth as confetti. And that bitch’s sternum, proudly shown with hickeys once, could be your bedazzled cane.

Yet, it would be useless to vent your anger at them when the only one who owes you something is him.

You take another swing at your bottle of wine before opening the door with a sickly-sweet smile painted on your lips.

Showtime.

Behind you, Seokjin stumbles and hits himself with the kitchen counter as he desperately tries to catch you before you open the front door. His fingers graze your arm causing you to snatch it out of his reach.

“Where are you going? Come back, we have to talk about this!”

You don't look back at him, not even when you hear the loud thud of his knees falling down to the marble floor.

It is one of his tricks, another manipulation to make you come back to him.

He has to realize he was no longer the deity he used to be in your eyes. He has fallen down from the worship altar you had put him on once upon a time.

Ignoring the way your heart hurts at his heartbreaking cries, you focus your gaze on the chaos taking place outside. His security staff is all over your front yard, protecting you from the frenetic reporters, who scream questions and direct their camera lenses at you.

As if you were a circus freak.

In a twisted way, he has turned you into one.

You have been the biggest clown of the circus, and Seokjin has been playing the role of the headmaster all this time.

"Please, don’t give up on me. I love you.” He sounds so small, so defeated, and you fight with the part of you that still loves him. The part of you that wants to fall down on your knees in front of him, take him in your arms, and erase the pain he is feeling now. “Please. I love you. I love you so much.”

It feels like a blasphemy the way he throws those sacred words in an attempt to save himself. You don't believe him, not when he is the one who tainted the meaning behind every “I love you”.

You won't feel sorry for him.

You won't.

Not when he is the one who has obligated you to turn your heart on ice. Not when he is the one who has obligated you to carefully choose every word and inject all the malice you can in every syllable. Not when he is the one who has obligated you to face the people outside and offered them the show that they have come to look for.

Not when the look on his face when he hears your next defying words is so satisfying.

“Watch me bounce to another dick, my love.”

TAGLIST (open)

@mickmoon @tazzi-baby @gguksblush @belovedcherry @derinxfam @julia-pacheco-blog @imluckybitches @bonnyskies @bambuzlee @iwishselena @cuteipat

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Kick Up the Fire and Let the Flames Break Loose | MYG, KTH (m)

Summary: Years after you gave up on him, Kim Taehyung appears back in your life: Are you the same person you were back then? Do you still love him? And why is it, with the supposed love of your life back, that you can’t stop thinking about the taciturn rapper who you has just come into your life?

Featuring: producer/rapper!Yoongi x reader, singer!Taehyung x reader & brother!Jimin

Genres: f2e2s2?, s2f2?, nonidol!au, angst, SMUT

Warnings: 🔞 lots of swearing, a fair whack of angst and so much smut (each chapter will have its own warnings - but you can expect swearing and mature themes in all chapters so minors, this really isn’t suitable for you, sorry)

SERIES MASTERPOST

Prologue: Gone

▷ Ancient history ❯ ❛ Your heart doesn’t break, it shatters like broken glass. You can almost hear the cold fracturing noise as the cracks spread like fault lines and then it implodes - you have never known pain like it ❜

⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛ ⊛

Chapter 1: Dumb Idleness

▷ In difficult circumstances, you make an unlikely new friend ❯ ❛ Yoongi is not by nature an affectionate or touchy person, but even he feels the desire to give you a hug ❜

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Chapter 2: That Excuse

▷ A homecoming; a concert; faces old and new ❯ ❛ He realises fate was kind enough to give him another chance and bring you here tonight, he might not get another one ❜

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Chapter 3: Prolong the Talk

▷ Some things refuse to stay in the past ❯ ❛ He holds a bottle of fruit soju in one hand and two glasses in the other, and smiles at you, “Drink with me?” ❜

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Chapter 4: Kick Up the Fire

▷ You turn to an old friend in difficult times ❯ ❛ He watches as the tension and fear leaves your face, the furrowed brow being replaced with bright, sparkling eyes and a broad smile he hasn’t seen directed towards him in years ❜

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Chapter 5: Beating Two O’Clock

▷ Friendship blossoms but trouble brews on the horizon ❯ ❛ he regards you in the low neon lights of the room as the two of you talk the night away, your face is half pink, half green and it feels like he’s in a dream ❜

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Chapter 6: The Windy Street

▷ Everyone has an opinion ❯ ❛ you seem to exist on the very edge of a precipice at the moment, and he wonders how long you can maintain the fragile balance you’re holding before you fall off the edge ❜

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Chapter 7: Let the Flames Break Loose

▷ Everything changes ❯ ❛ You’re ashamed to see apprehensiveness bloom in his eyes as he holds you closer, physically flinching as you open your mouth to speak. Is this how people see you? you think sadly, some cold monster who can so easily inflict hurt on others? ❜

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Chapter 8: The Instantaneous Grief of Being Alone: Part 1

▷ Confessions and realisations flow thick and fast ❯ ❛ like all those years ago when you fled on a plane to London, you rest your head against the window and let the tears flow freely down your face ❜

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Chapter 8.5: High Bells (a little drabble)

▷ Mother knows best ❯ ❛ she gazes out on the water, her eyes drawn to the gentle ripples caused by the soft white blossoms that fall from above her like tiny bridal veils onto the still surface of the water ❜

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Chapter 9: The Instantaneous Grief of Being Alone: Part 2

▷ Actions have consequences and you have to deal with them all ❯ ❛ You feel yourself giving in to the pressure surrounding you; your control slips through your fingers like sand ❜

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Chapter 10: Drive the Shadows Back

▷ Your own series of unexpected events ❯ ❛ The city is so vast and expansive, glittering broadly in front of you, as wide as the ocean but with no horizon in sight; you always feel so small and anonymous here and you gain some peace from the quietness of that ❜

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Chapter 11: The Night Comes to Rest

▷ You learn to let go ❯ ❛ You sit together under the heavy sky for hours, talking of everything and nothing. Eventually the sun rises, lifting the blanket of darkness and offering a new day, yet, somehow, there’s less comfort to be found in that than there was in the darkness that settled around you while you lay safe in his arms ❜

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Chapter 11 (and a bit): Taehyung’s Year

▷ Taehyung tries to move forward ❯ ❛ Every day I have missed you, it sits in the marrow of my bones as a deep ache that I can never be rid of ❜

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Chapter 11 (and a bit): Yoongi’s Year

▷ Yoongi stands still ❯ ❛ Over the course of the next hour, truths are spilled that flow through the studio like floodwater. Not that they were in much doubt, but both Hobi and Namjoon now know exactly how Yoongi feels about you ❜

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Chapter 12: The Guest

▷ Fresh starts ❯ ❛ He forces himself to continue, almost inviting his own anguish by seeking to confirm his worse fears. He knows it will hurt but he can’t resist, like a child waggling a loose tooth ❜

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Chapter 13: Across the Mind

▷ Are things as peaceful as they seem? ❯ ❛ He takes a long gulp of water from the cool bottle in his hand and is halfway through screwing the cap back on when a sound he has never before heard you make causes the it to slip from his hand. Water chugs slowly from the bottle onto the floor like a jumping pulse ❜

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Epilogue teaser

Epilogue: This

▷ Does time really heal all wounds? ❯ ❛ “You’re finally here,” you say relieved ❜

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Character map: As this fic has progressed, there are now so many named characters that I understand it might become confusing, the relevant ones, and how they connect into the narrative, are outlined in the map!

Do I ever learn my lesson about basing fics around poetry quotes? No, I do not… have I leant it to the concept even harder this time? Yeah… 🙄

Back to main masterlist

I will happily take requests or asks etc! Character asks always open even if the fic is now finished!

Girl Of His Dreams (02)

Pairing: Fuckboi! Jungkook x Reader

Au: Strangers to Lovers au

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (eventually)

Rating: 18+

Word count: 7K

Summary: You think Jungkook is the utter definition of beauty. Jungkook thinks you’re cute but just not his type. Throw a magic ring into the equation, that makes you look like the girl of his dreams and you have the perfect recipe for heartbreak and tears.

Warnings: OC has low self esteem but we been knew, Jungkook is cocky and careless, dilemmas, swear words and that should be it.

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist (gonna make one soon)

Jungkook wakes up after a few minutes of you repetitively shaking his shoulders and sprinkling his face with water.

"Jungkook?" You call out in relief, the moment you notice the slightest bit of movement. "Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?"

Jungkook blinks a few times in what you assume is an attempt at clearing his vision. After a few more blinks, he seems to be able to see clearly and his eyes focus on the person sitting in front of him; you. 

Much to your surprise and utter confusion, Jungkook's whole body language changes. He suddenly looks wide awake and shocked.

"Jungkook? Are you okay?" You ask again, considering the possibility that his sudden behaviour change can be a sign of some discomfort he might be feeling in his body. 

Jungkook looks around and when he notices that the place is familiar to him, he seems to calm down and it provides him with a sense of clarity. "I need to go. I have classes." With that, he picks his bag up from the floor and gets up from his seat.

"Jungkook you can't leave–" 

Before you can finish your sentence, he leaves without a single stumbling step as if he wasn't just senseless a few minutes ago. You quickly pay the bills and leave too. You can't just let him leave like that, what if he faints on the road or something?

Until he reaches his class or finds a friend who can look after him, you tell yourself as you start to follow him. You'd call for him, but you don't know what he will think of that. Maybe he'll think that you're trying to win him over or something and will again give you one of those looks that makes you feel inferior.

You don't want to do that plus it's alright as long as he's in sight. If he faints or stumbles, you will know and can help accordingly. 

It is when he nears the art building that he joins a group of guys and starts chatting with them. You sigh in relief thinking that now he's with people who can look after him.

You turn around to leave when your eyes fall on the ring and you chuckle. Guess the ring isn't magical, after all!

You don't know why but you feel a little gloomy thinking that there isn't a magical ring that exists after all. You hadn't given a thought to what you'd do if the ring had some special powers but for a moment there, you had gotten excited thinking that it might help you bring you out of your misery. That maybe you won't have to struggle so much to find love. 

But, alas! 

Now the thought that you entertained the existence of such a ring sounds hilarious and downright stupid to you. Nevertheless, there's one less thing on your mind now.

If there's something you're good at and something that you never had to struggle with, it would be in academics. From the very beginning, you have always been an 'A' student. You have always been meticulous, a quick learner and a hard worker. All of which has simply contributed to your excellent track record when it comes to studies.

The only time you have gotten a C was in kindergarten, in art.

When you received that grade, you had made up your mind to get an A on the next test. It wasn't because you had gotten a scolding from your parents or that you were competitive. No, it was simply because it didn't fit into the collection of 'A's. Your two-year-old self thought that the 'C' must be very lonely and sad that it does not have a friend it can play with. Hence, you wanted the C to become an A, so that it can have fun with the others without being left out.

While you intensely practised the drawings of simple figures such as trees and huts, you also developed a special interest in sketching. The two-year-old got her A and also, found her hobby. Although, it was only when you got older that you realised sketching isn't just a hobby for you and that it is a means by which you express yourself.

Sketching helps you process your emotions and release them. It's simply therapeutic for you. 

But after the latest debacle this morning, when you think of sketching or of the word 'art', it reminds you of the tears you cried in the washroom. It makes sense though. The episode is fresh and you can still feel the heavy emotions on your tongue.

You know that sooner or later, you will sketch with those emotions in mind so that you can move on from it. But before you can do that, you have to remind yourself why you love sketching.

It will take some time but it won't be difficult. You will only have to start sketching something you love in a place where you feel comfortable and at peace and you're sure your love for art will overcome the bitter memories from today. Then, the word 'art' won't redirect you to the pain you felt today. 

Until then, you try your best to focus on the rest of the classes. You were already absent-minded during the first half of classes. You can't afford to do that during the second half as well. With all the assignments and projects that are due, if you miss what's being taught in class, you'll surely fall behind.

Thankfully, you find it easier to concentrate now, knowing that you won't have to face Jungkook anymore and that the ring isn't magical.

Much to your delight, the rest of the day goes by quickly and in no time you find yourself attending the last class of the day.

When the bell rings, you put your pen down and open and close your first several times to get relief from the tension in your fingers. 

Taking notes can be really tiring. 

You huff when you see that almost everyone has packed their bags and are about to leave. It reminds you that you too will have to get up and walk all the way to your dorms. Only then will you be able to get some rest. 

Gosh, science has advanced so much and yet there's no teleportation.

With rest being the only motivation, you leave your seat and walk towards the door.

You have just stepped out of the class when someone taps on your shoulder. You turn around and you feel completely perplexed when you realise that it's Jungkook.

Before you can get a word out, he starts speaking. 

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He stands there in the middle of the corridor, with his hands in his pockets, asking you the question in a very relaxed manner.

You, however, are anything but relaxed. Every time he's around you feel this pressure of having to prove yourself. With that, also comes the pressure of saying the right things. Saying something that can be misinterpreted in the wrong way, will make you look stupid all over again.

Jungkook mistakes your silence as your way of asking him to go on. And so he does. "I want you to model for my designs."

Now that gets you speaking. 

"What?!" You are sure if you were to look into the mirror right now, you would look like a cartoon character with eyes wide open in disbelief and a look that says they are hearing things. 

"Modelling," Jungkook says as if the word is supposed to explain everything. "It's alright if you don't have any prior experience, it is not that difficult."

You stare at Jungkook and try really hard to make sense of his words and actions. He is possibly just joking, right? But then why does he look so serious and seems to be expecting an answer from you?

"I-I...Why are you asking me this?" You stutter out.

"Why can't I?" He asks back, now somewhat reciprocating your state of confusion.

"No, but it's me." You point to yourself as if it should be obvious. 

"So…..?" He leaves his words hanging in the air in hopes that you will start speaking in full sentences so that he can make sense of what you are trying to say. When he finds that you don't seem to have any intention of explaining where your confusion is rooted from, Jungkook takes matters into his own hands. "Listen, just come with me. See the designs and then you can decide."

Jungkook takes a hold of your hand and mistakes your inability to protest as your compliance and starts walking with you in tow. 

Your eyes drop to his hand that is encircling yours. The sight makes you feel weird as if it shouldn't be there. However, what surprises you is how gentle and warm his touch is. It's almost comforting. Almost. But his words still sting and the gentle touch only reminds you how much hurt his words have left you with. 

The pain reminds you of how clear and obvious he made it that you aren't model material. Heck, it was only this morning that he felt the need to make it clear that him asking for a treat wasn't the same thing as going on a date with you with that look on his face. The look that says he would never consider that as a possibility and is only saving you so that you don't daydream again. By now you can tell what that look means because you have been on the receiving end of it more than once.

How and why, then, is he asking you to model for him? 

You had honestly thought that today's lunch–

Today's lunch. Jungkook had put the ring on you while the two of you were in the cafeteria. Could…..could it possibly be the result of that? The thought leaves you even more perplexed and you feel clueless as to what you should do if that were to be true.

You don't get to dwell in your thoughts for long as Jungkook's steps come to an abrupt halt and you realise that the two of you have stopped in front of the very room, the modelling audition was supposed to take place in. The realisation makes you panic. What if he asks you to audition? A week back, you were ready, overconfident and you had your head in the clouds but now, the thought of auditioning sounds like a nightmare. 

"Come here," saying so, he heads over to a table. You follow him and as you get closer, you realise that there are sketches of his designs laid out on the surface. "These are a few of my sketches. I'm yet to decide which six to keep for the competition but it will be out of these."

"You want me to model wearing these?" In the state of confusion that you're in, you don't find it in yourself to observe the designs properly and appreciate them the way you would, any other time. Right now, your priority is to make sense of the situation.

He nods with a soft smile, one that catches you off guard. "I can't think of anyone else who would be a better fit for my designs."

With those words, any doubts you had about his behaviour being influenced by the ring, leave your mind. There's just no way that this Jungkook is the same one you interacted with before. 

Or maybe he is. He just views you differently. 

Almost as if to confirm your thoughts, the ring starts getting warm again. The sensation causes you to gasp out audibly, which catches Jungkook's attention. 

He smirks flirtatiously, entertained by the sound. "That's a very flattering reaction to my designs, thank you ." 

You half expect yourself to have a negative reaction to his words but surprisingly, rather than his words reminding you of the time you took his flirty words seriously, it gives you a pause. 

You notice the way he's looking at you and it makes you realise that he isn't giving you that look anymore. There's a spark of something behind his eyes. You can't tell what it is but you sure know what it isn't. Judgement. 

The only other time he had looked at you this way was during the first class but that is understandable considering that was the first time you both met each other. However, after that, he made it clear that he holds a particular opinion about you and you have an idea of what that is and you can't blame him for it. 

But that's not to say that you didn't want to change the idea he has of you. Of someone, who's too eager, who doesn't know their place and of someone who would mistake the slightest amount of attention being given to them as something more. When you realised that there was no way you can change his opinion, you tried your utter best to not feed into his views further and prove him right.

But right now you can tell that the opinion he had of you, is gone. He doesn't seem to view you through that pre-existing notion and it somehow lifts a heavy weight from your shoulders. It's almost as if Jungkook is meeting you for the first time.

It gives you the slightest amount of confidence to be yourself.

"Sorry to break it to you but I wasn't gasping at the sketches," you reply with a small cheeky smile. Or you hope that it comes out that way. It might as well have looked like you are wincing because you still don't know how to be around Jungkook. 

Jungkook's smirk drops immediately and you have to hold back the small chuckle that bubbles up. It's kind of nice to see him not have the upper hand. 

He clears his throat, feeling a bit embarrassed and tries to change the topic. "Nevertheless, let me know when you're free so that we can get started with it."

Seeing him in this flustered state, makes you feel bolder. "I never agreed to be your model." 

Jungkook sighs. You're playing hard to get. Justified, he thinks. 

"Give me your phone," he asks with his palms outstretched. 

Already having an idea why he's asking for your phone, you don't protest. Handing him your phone, you watch as he types something. The confirmation that he's typing a number comes in the form of the unique sound phone keypads make. 

Jungkook places a call from your phone to his and then gives you, your phone back. 

"What should I save your contact as?" He asks. 

It occurs to you that he has never asked for your name before, it has only ever been art girl to him.

With a small smile, you answer his question. "Y/N."

Jungkook nods as he types your name on his phone. The name has got a nice touch to it, he thinks.

"Text me by tonight to let me know of your decision." 

A feeling of unease bubbles in your stomach but you choose to ignore it.

Once you're back in the comfort of your dorms, you think about everything that has happened today and you're immediately faced with a massive dilemma. 

Any plan of taking rest is now far out of the window.

The ring worked. That much was obvious in the way Jungkook's behaviour towards you, changed. 

But what are you to do now? 

Do you keep on with the pretence and see where things go? But the thought of doing so is immediately met with guilt. Because, after all, doesn't that mean you will be deceiving Jungkook?

Your mother's words about how who puts the ring on you, starts seeing you as their dream partner, comes to mind.

The thought of Jungkook viewing you that way, sounds exciting. It would be lovely and ideal for you if that were the case. Who wouldn't want a man like him?

But deep down, you know you can't accept that. You can't accept love in that form because whatever Jungkook might be feeling for you, isn't real. It can't be. 

The other option with you is to remove the ring and letting things go back to normal. But then that would mean returning back to the you, that has never been good enough. You have always felt ashamed about how you were never the person you'd like to be.

You sigh when you realise you have to choose between guilt and shame. 

You'd think having a magical ring would make things easier and magically fix the issues you have, but you're only left with difficult decisions to make.

You glance down at the ring and think about it. If you let things go back to normal, wouldn't that mean that you're simply not putting the ring to use? After all, isn't that what the ring is made for?

You know what wearing the ring means. Jungkook will keep viewing you as his ideal partner. But would that be so bad? 

You know you'll feel guilty for doing so and for deceiving him. But at least there will be a reason for that guilt. That guilt won't make you feel powerless as it will because of something you have willingly done. That guilt is acceptable. However, feeling shame for being the way you are, is something that you never chose for yourself. You are the way you are, you have always been this way and with the shame that comes with being you, there is no explanation or reasoning. Most importantly, that shame makes you feel powerless.

Would it be so bad if you let yourself escape from that shame? It wouldn't be. And if the price you have to pay for feeling like you're flawless and enough, is guilt, you will gladly take it.

Your intention isn't to get with Jungkook, rather it's to feel that you're worthy of feeling the love of someone like Jungkook.

Plus, it's the ring which is making you look like his ideal partner. Which means the moment you take off the ring, the effect will wear off and so will his feelings.

One month.

You make the decision. One month from now and you'll remove the ring. One month of feeling the way you have always wanted to. One month of letting the magic work for you. One month of not being the Y/N you know. After that, you'll gladly give up the ring and return it.

Making up your mind, you grab hold of your phone. 

You: Hey, it's Y/N. 

You: I'll be your model

You anxiously chew on your lips after shooting the text. He hasn't changed his mind, right?

Thankfully, your phone beeps only after a few minutes and you immediately unlock the screen and open the message.

Jungkook: I was waiting for your text. 

Your anxiety is washed away and the thought of him waiting for you to text does something funny to your stomach. 

However, you immediately push the feeling aside, reminding yourself that it's only because of the ring and try to think of a proper response to his previous message.

You: well I'm flattered :)

Jungkook: that smiley is cute 

Jungkook: btw can i ask what made you say yes

You look at his question and answer him with the truth. 

You: thought of giving it a try 

You: i have never experienced something like this before

Jungkook: that makes sense 

Jungkook: although to be fair I wouldn't have taken no for an answer

You: 🚩🚩🚩

You: tell me you're a red flag without telling me you're a red flag 

Jungkook chuckles at that. 

Jungkook: judging me too soon aren't you?

Your smile fades in the slightest when you read that. You wish you could say the same.

You: it's not like you're giving me any other choice 

Jungkook: well then I hope to get to know you better and change your opinion of me 

You: we will see ;)))

A knock on the door catches Jungkook's attention and he looks up thinking that it's you. His excitement, however, dwindles when he realises who it is. 

"Tina," he acknowledges her presence with a small nod.

"Am I early?" She asks, looking around at the empty room and noticing that it's only her and Jungkook. 

Her question reminds Jungkook of the fact that informing her about the changes had totally slipped from his mind.

"Actually, there's someone else who's going to model."

Tina frowns, surprised by his words. "What do you mean by someone else? You didn't inform me about it beforehand."

"I know, but it was kind of sudden." Jungkook shrugs.

Annoyance shoots through her veins at Jungkook's dismissive behaviour. Not only two days ago, he was being all flirty with her and here he is now, not bothering to give her a proper explanation. She should have really listened to her friends when they said that Jungkook only ever fools around. The moment he has a new girl, it's like the previous one never existed. 

Not wanting to start an argument, knowing very well that there's no point in having one, she turns around to leave the room. Before walking out of the door, however, she leaves Jungkook with one last sentence. "You're a dickhead."

Jungkook has heard that before. So many times in fact, that it doesn't bother him in the slightest. Dickhead or not, he's doing his thing and he's good at it. If anyone has a problem with that, then well….it's their problem, not his. 

"Did something happen? She looked really mad." Jimin asks, entering right after. Having stumbled upon Tina on his way, he had asked her if everything was okay, however, he was met with a 'go ask your friend', and hence here he is, asking his friend.

"Well, I got a new, better model and forgot to inform her in time," Jungkook replies, feeling glad that Jimin is here. At least now, Jungkook won't have to sit here idly anymore.

"New model?" Jimin turns confused. "When did that happen?"

"Yesterday," Jungkook replies with a small smirk as if he knows something, but Jimin doesn't. "You will see why she's perfect for the role when you meet her."

Jimin shakes his head at Jungkook's behaviour. It isn't something new for Jungkook to make rash, sudden decisions. However, he wasn't expecting Jungkook to end things with Tina this soon. 

But again, Jungkook is Jungkook. 

Putting those thoughts aside, Jimin rests his bag on a chair. "Should we work on the designs then?" 

"Yes, please," Jungkook agrees. "I can't wait for the designs to get finalised."

The two of them sit opposite each other and work on what details could be added and most importantly which six designs would be best suited for the theme. 

It took Jungkook months to finish the sketches and now, every time he looks at them, he feels proud. From the moment he learnt about the competition, he stayed up day and night to finish the designs. Nothing motivates Jungkook the way winning does. And he sure as hell, plans to win the competition.

Jungkook's eyes skim through the designs, and he can't help but imagine how you'd look like wearing them. It automatically brings a smile to his face. He really can't wait for the ordered materials to arrive so that he can start working on bringing the designs to life. 

As he's thinking of you, there's another knock on the door and Jungkook couldn't be more delighted to see you standing at the entrance. 

Your eyes automatically land on Jungkook and you're relieved when you don't feel the need to hide yourself when you lock eyes with him.

Of course, it has something to do with the lack of judgement in his eyes. But you think, a small part of it is also because of the conversation you had with him last night. 

You can't forget the immense amount of weight you felt even yesterday while asking him if you could take a few pictures of him in order to complete your assignment. But during the small exchange of texts, you couldn't believe it when you realised you were enjoying talking to him. You were typing out responses without giving it much thought and weren't worried about how he might perceive them.

For the first time, you felt comfortable talking to him.

Now that you're standing right in front of him, you won't go as far as to say that you're completely comfortable but you aren't necessarily uncomfortable either. It's almost like that feeling when you're meeting someone for the first time, where you are nervous about how the meeting will go, whether you will be able to make conversations and whether you will make a good first impression or not. 

You're well aware, that this is definitely not a first meet for you and Jungkook but it feels like it. He's not viewing you as the art girl and you're getting to see a side of him that doesn't resemble the Jungkook you had encountered, at all.

It's as if you are meeting Jungkook for the first time.

"Y/N," Jungkook greets you with a smile, which warms your heart. "I was waiting for you."

"Sorry, for coming late. The building was quite far away." You explain sheepishly as you make your way to the table and put your bag down.

"It's okay, you aren't late in the least." Jungkook dismisses your concern, not bothered by your delay at all. "Meet Jimin, he's my childhood best friend and a student of fashion designing. And Jimin, this is Y/N, she's going to be our model."

Your eyes drift to the other man in the room, and you feel your confidence drop when you realise that Jimin has a look of disbelief on his face as if he can't believe that you're the model.

It immediately makes you look away.

Guess, the effect is limited only to Jungkook. 

Jungkook notices your discomfort and looks at Jimin in confusion wondering what the boy might have done for you to react this way. When he notices the way Jimin's looking at you, he rolls his eyes. "Hey, man, I know she's pretty but don't gawk at her like that."

This snaps Jimin out of his haze and he clears his throat. Reminding himself to be polite, he introduces himself to you. He outstretches his hand and puts on a welcoming smile. "Hey, I'm Jimin."

You entirely miss Jungkook's compliment and give yourself a small prep talk to not believe Jimin's smiley facade. "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you," you say as you shake his hands.

"We can't get started, because our other model isn't here yet," Jungkook informs you. "Me and Jimin were discussing designs and suggesting changes that might be beneficial. You can join us in doing that if you'd like to."

Jungkook says it with such a bright excited gleam in his eyes that you can't find it in yourself to say no. It's almost as if he wants you to join him and involuntarily, a smile appears on your face at the thought that he cares about your opinion.

"Sure, I'd love to," you say, joyfully.

As the three of you take your seats around the circular table, Jimin observes you closely. 

For some reason, he can't believe that Jungkook, out of all people has chosen you to be his model. You are the literal representation of what isn't Jungkook's type. To think that he dismissed Tina, for you, makes him feel tremendous amounts of disbelief. 

It isn't only about him choosing you as his model though. It's also about how Jungkook is looking at you. Almost, as if he's….into you? 

But then how on earth is that possible? Jimin has known Jungkook since he was eight and there's no way Jungkook would take interest in you.

You know how every once in a while someone you swear you know from the inside out, does something that makes you doubt if you know them at all in the first place? 

Jungkook choosing you, looking at you like that, is exactly doing that one thing that makes Jimin question everything. 

As Jimin tries to make sense of the whole thing, one possibility comes to his mind which seems like the only possible explanation to Jimin. 

What if…what if Jungkook made a bet with someone? 

You know one of those bets you read about where they target someone in particular and challenge the guy to win her over or something? Jimin swears if that is the case, he is going to pull out his hyung card and give Jungkook a good scolding. 

However, when Jimin looks at Jungkook, he is forced to shoot that possibility out. Jungkook won't do that. Jungkook can be rude and harsh at times, but he isn't cruel. He would never intentionally harm anyone for the sake of his own benefit.

Jimin stops trying to figure things out when he realises that he has reached a dead end and that the only person who can help him understand this sudden change of behaviour coming from Jungkook, would be the man himself. 

But he can't ask Jungkook these questions right now, so he focuses back on the present moment and the designs.

You try to ignore the weird look Jimin is giving you and focus on what Jungkook is saying regarding the designs.

You might have managed to miss it yesterday but now that you're seeing the designs up close, there's no way you can hold back the expression of awe on your face. They're absolutely breathtaking.

There are such fine details that every time you look at them, there's always something new that you discover. 

What's even more fascinating to you, is the fact that the person who has created all these designs is sitting right next to you. It's not every day that you get to look at art and appreciate it with the artist that has created them. 

"They look fantastic," you say with a wide grin. "I've only ever seen this kind of fancy stuff at the Met Gala."

Jungkook feels elated at your praise. "I'm glad you like them."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you come up with these designs?" You angle yourself a little towards him. Because that way, it becomes easier for you to ignore Jimin's presence and focus your entire attention on Jungkook. Plus, as someone who is deeply enthusiastic about art, you really are curious as to how he comes up with these ideas. 

Jungkook feels excited at your genuine display of interest in his work. He hates to admit it, but it's rare for him to find people who appreciate art and its creation. 

"When I feel inspired, I just let my pencil do the work," he explains. "I don't overthink about whether the sketch is coming out the way I want it to or not. After the first draft is done, I start the analysing process and add the required changes to get my desired end product."

You nod. That makes a lot of sense to you. It's something that your art teacher in eighth grade had advised you. When your imagination wants to flow, let it flow. Don't burden yourself with the weight of getting things right as it will only kill your inspiration and your love for art.

Before you can reply to Jungkook with another question, a new voice pipes in. 

"Sorry, I'm late, we were having our viva."

You turn around at the sound of a deep husky voice only to see a tall, gorgeous, guy of your age huffing and out of breath and you immediately shrink in your seat.

After the look Jimin gave you, you totally expect this guy to give you the same look. They both are gorgeous and it's of no surprise that they would wonder what someone like you, is doing with someone like them.

"It's okay," Jungkook says as he pulls out a chair for the guy to sit on. "Take some rest and then we can get started."

"You haven't introduced Y/N to him, though," Jimin pipes in, speaking for the first time since introducing himself to you.

"Ah, right," Jungkook chuckles. "Y/N this is Taehyung. Taehyung, this is Y/N."

Taehyung, despite his dishevelled state, smiles at you. And his smile catches you off guard, completely. Unlike Jimin's smile, his one is genuine. His smile is big and boxy, almost as if smiling was his first instinct to greet you. It instantly puts you at ease and you give him a smile in return.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you," Taehyung gives you a little wave. 

"Likewise," you quip. 

"She's our new model by the way," Jimin comments, his words directed at Taehyung. Jimin doesn't mean to sound rude, but he can't be the only one finding this weird, right?

A look of surprise takes over Taehyung's features and you think this is it, this is when he starts judging you. He too is probably going to think the same way Jungkook did before the ring. He's gonna wonder how on earth are you anywhere near suitable for the role of a model.

Taehyung, however, gets over the news pretty quickly and his features slip into an expression that tells you he isn't bothered by it. 

"I didn't realise that," Taehyung says, looking at you. Much to your surprise, you don't find any judgement in his eyes. "I look forward to working with you."

You try to give him an appreciative smile in return but it only comes out awkward. Perhaps, it's because you feel like a deflated balloon right now. All the pressure of anticipating people's reactions is taking its toll on you. 

Taehyung takes a seat between Jungkook and Jimin and there is about another fifteen minutes of discussion before Jungkook suggests that you and Taehyung should practise how to carry yourselves on stage while modelling.

Taehyung, having had the time to regain his energy, voices his agreement immediately. You, on the other hand, feel anxious at the thought of having to model. 

It's absurd that you're dreading it when that's pretty much what you're here to do. But you can't get over the worry of ending up looking like a fool.

"How about, I watch and observe today?" You suggest in a meek voice, hoping that your nervousness isn't obvious. "That way I'll have a better idea of how to do things."

As it turns out, all three men notice your nervousness. However, it's Jungkook who speaks up first. 

"We can do that." He affirms, trying his best to not make you regret your choice. You weren't willing to model but in a way, he was the one, who was not ready to take 'no' for an answer. The bare minimum he can do is to make sure that you don't get uncomfortable and change your mind about modelling.

His words bring in temporary relief and you shoot him a small smile to show your appreciation. 

Once the decision is made, that for today it's only going to be Taehyung who's going to practise, the three guys get to work to make arrangements.

In the blink of an eye, the tables and chairs are moved so that Taehyung can walk without any obstacles in his way. The designs are clipped to the canvas so that it is visible to everyone. You ask if there's anything you can do to help but Jungkook quickly shoots the idea down, saying that there's no need.

Taehyung walks to the opposite side of the room whereas you, Jimin and Jungkook stand next to the canvas. 

"Remember, the ideal time is 15-20 seconds. You can take more than that if you need but there is no need to rush," Jungkook says in a loud tone so that his voice can reach Taehyung.

Taehyung shoots him a thumbs up from the other end and waits for Jimin's green signal. As soon as Jimin says 'go' Taehyung starts walking the way he would if the floor were an actual runway. 

Your mouth parts open at the way he carries himself with his back straight, core tight, and shoulders back and down – but in a relaxed, not a forced, way. As he walks, his arms swing slightly and he keeps his hands relaxed. He keeps a strong pace that is just right, not too fast, not too slow. His hips don't move too much, they stay straight. He looks straight ahead with a look of confidence that simply amazes you.

You're sure, if anyone were to watch Taehyung, they would for sure think he's a professional model. 

Jimin flips the design when it's time to move to the next one. 

The change is barely noticeable but this time when Taehyung walks, there's something mildly gentle about it. Your assumption that this has to do something with his perception of the correct way to represent the piece of clothing, is proven right when he keeps making these small, barely noticeable changes, each time Jimin flips the design.

As you watch Taehyung walk back to his original position and then start walking again, you wonder how exactly are you going to manage to do this and how will you match Taehyung's skill.

You thought modelling would be easy, that you'd simply have to walk wearing the clothes Jungkook has designed. But now that you have seen the designs, you will gladly put aside the hurt Jungkook's words had caused and will admit that he should have someone who will do justice to the designs, as his model. And you really, don't think you'll be able to do it. 

Not when your partner on the runway is supposed to be Taehyung, who walks and carries himself so gracefully. Next to him, you're nothing and will stick out like a sore thumb.

Boy, what did you sign up for? 

Jungkook's hands might be occupied with putting things back in the cupboard but his mind is occupied with you.

It's weird because it hasn't even been half an hour since you and Taehyung bid your goodbyes, but Jungkook already wants to spend more time with you and wants to get to know you better. If he were, to be honest, he hasn't felt this way about anyone before. But that's justified, after all, he hasn't ever met anyone as beautiful as you before, either.

The thought makes him sigh.

In the short span of time that he has known you, he has found himself wishing you could see what he sees. Because even though it has only been a day, he can tell that you are not as confident as you should be. If only you knew what other girls would give to have your beauty and charm.

"Jungkook?" Jimin calls. When Jungkook responds with a small hum to let Jimin know that he's listening, Jimin asks the question that has been on his mind since he met you. "What made you choose Y/N as the model?"

"Well because she's perfect for the role." Jungkook shrugs, without missing a beat, the answer coming to him automatically.

"But Y/N is the kind of girl you'd never choose as your model." Jimin counters, not satisfied with Jungkook's answer in the least.

Jungkook frowns, amused by Jimin's opinion. "Are you sure you know me?"

Jimin sighs, frustrated. He knows he shouldn't bother himself so much with something so minuscule but he also can't just accept it. Because one of Jungkook's main traits has always been knowing what he wants. Which also extends to girls. 

It's not unknown that Jungkook is a bit of a player when it comes to romance. He likes to be free and never gets tied down. And let's just say, if one were to look at the list of girls he has been with, one would be able to tell exactly what Jungkook's type is. 

It's not only that though, Jungkook only ever gives attention to a girl if they fall under the category of his "type". There might be the girl who's perfect for Jungkook, right in front of him but he won't bat an eye at her if she isn't his type. 

One might say, that's very shallow of Jungkook but that's also simply how he is and has always been.

Hence, Jungkook removing the girl who is his type, to make you his model, who isn't his type, is very puzzling to him. 

"Maybe I don't," Jimin says, his voice not hiding the mix of frustration and confusion he's feeling. "Help me understand why you chose Y/N as your model?"

Jungkook looks at Jimin, trying to understand what's going on with the older one. Why is he so hellbent on understanding why he chose you as your model? Moreover, what's there to understand even? Isn't one look at you enough to answer that question? 

Nevertheless, Jungkook tries to think about how he should answer Jimin's question. But when he gives it a thought, it occurs to him that perhaps there's a bigger intention behind why he has asked you to be his model.

"Maybe modelling is just an excuse," Jungkook's words are spoken more to himself than to Jimin. Almost, as if he too is realising something. "Maybe, I want to get to know her on a deeper level."

Still doesn't answer Jimin's question.

"But why?" Jimin prods.

"Because she looks like the girl of my dreams," Jungkook whispers, his eyes locked on the ground as a gentle smile appears on his face. 

Jimin bends down a little to catch the expression on his childhood friend's face. It shocks him to the core when he notices the lovesick smile that adorns Jungkook's face. 

"My god, what on earth are you saying?" Jimin whines.

"Also, because I have met her before–" Jungkook looks up suddenly, totally ignoring Jimin's question, as if he just remembered that he has forgotten to mention something to Jimin. "–in Gangnam." 

A/N: if you enjoy my writing and want to have early access to all my works, head over to my patreon!

permanent taglist:

@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07

Series Taglist:

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Valentine Boy

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 (Final)

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama &lt;3

Summary:

You've been dating College Student! Jaehyun for a few months now. He's unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you've ever had. He's the love of your life and you can't see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly.that is….until you discover his biggest secret. He's been hiding the fact that he's a camboy and you start to wonder..ls Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Chapter Word Count: 13.5K

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), brief sexual assault mention (nothing detailed), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, minor character death, descriptive smut (fingering, dirty talk, BDSM themes (toy usage, spanking), oral sex (m receiving), threesome, some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, anal sex, breast fondling).

(A/N): HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!💗💗 Jfc I cannot believe this took 3 years 😵‍💫 please PLEASEEEE forgive me for completely abandoning this as well as other fics, things happen and I couldn’t find any motivation to write for a while. It’s slowly starting to come back, so you’ll notice my writing style is rusty, please be patient with me❤️Anyway, I’ve introduced a new character *hint hint* his name starts with T hehe! Thank you guys so much for reading this series!! I really want to know if you love Cam Boy! Jaehyun or can’t stand him after this finale. So please comment or send an ask! I hope you enjoy! low key, I’m relieved but I’m also kinda sad, anytime I finish a series it’s really like closing a book and leaving the characters behind, it’s weird.. nonetheless!! ENJOY!

Tag List (if you’re still here, I’d be VERY impressed😭): @teddybella @nakayutasama @nainjun @moonflower-98 @cherrym4rk @hwangjinkkami @jeongyoonohs @starlightdustspots @80sjaeden-blog @poisonedsultana @breadjaehyunie @lilaewe @hash-brownsss @lazydepkkst @greatbakerypaperoperator @mymy127 @tiramisubox @cactus-rocks @justineasian @nakamotonikkoru @joyfulghosteagletree @nainjun @bluehippoo @suhtements @lonely-moon-in-the-sky @ratchet-sebooty @mrshatakekakashi-blog @painted-hills @haylo4ever @celestiababie @ubbesson @tinybangtanstan @oddeyecirca @hongtyong @johnnysmybabydaddy @yesitsmeavi @polarlight-b @chanyeolscoon @ncteaxhoe @suhweo @jiyoungiejae @suhfluffy @the-universe-in-you-jjh @yutyongie @isolemnlyswearimgood @staywritten @hnvbin @jhhooppppeeee @yunohflwr @gotoartistprofile @shiningstarsarah @glitterfall @minsik-k @yoooori @26zcl @ahtisa02 @wonw00t

-----------

[2:30 PM]

“Miss y/n, I understand that you believe you’re innocent in this situation, but the fact of the matter is that these scandalous photos WERE taken with your permission. You voluntarily posed for these photos”

The Dean flips the posters over on his desk so that he doesn’t have to look at them anymore. You appreciated it, but really, you wished she’d be more sympathetic.

“Y-yes, but not with the belief that they’d ever leave my boyfriend's computer..I’m sorry, I don’t know who is trying to blackmail me, but I’d really appreciate it if campus police could do an investigation. I think my boyfriend was hacked.”

You say quietly, unsure of whether or not you even believed that.

“Of course, miss Y/n, this will be done and the perpetrator may be convicted of sexual assault, should there be enough evidence and should you wish to press charges, but right now, our main concern is maintaining our campus peace and the respectful treatment of others that we pride ourselves in having.”

You nod.

“That being said…” she sighs.

“Myself, as well as your professors, have decided to forbid you from entering the campus.”

Your mouth falls open as your eyes widen. “Wha-“

“It’ll only be for the remainder of the semester. You can join us again in the Fall, but in the meantime, you must finish your classes online at home.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears.

“But it isn’t my fault, I-I don’t understand.”

“Things have to calm down right now, you’ll also be at risk for even more harassment if you stay.” She stands and fixes her blazer, signaling that the conversation was over.

You nod and stand up. She was right. You were in a vulnerable state right now. People that hadn’t known you before now knew what your body looked like without your consent. They’d have perceptions about you, they’d look at you scornfully or maybe even make advances. 

“Thank you for your time.” You hold your head down and leave the office.

————

Back in your apartment, Bella and Jackson talk about how they ran Jaehyun away. He came to look for you, but they told him they’d have him arrested for trespassing.

“He and the fucking bitch Reina deserve to suffer! I swear to God I will ruin them!” Bella stomps through the apartment.

You hold your face in your hands and sob while thinking about what your life has turned into. You couldn’t show your face on campus now and it’s all because you decided to trust Jaehyun.

“I know what I’ll do, I’ll hack into their account and fucking delete it, how dare they make money after this!”

Bella continues. “They’ll have to start all over.”

“Bella..please..that won’t do anything right now.” You cry even harder. You knew she cared for you and hated seeing you like this, but her getting revenge really didn’t make you happier.

Bella stops in her tracks, rushing to sit beside you and hold your back.

“I’m..sorry, I’m so wounded up, I didn’t even remember that your health is a priority right now. You don’t deserve this and you didn’t do anything wrong, people are just assholes. Have you eaten?”

You shake your head.

“I’ll grab something for you, okay? Stay right here, I’ll be right back!”

While waiting, you hesitantly unlock your phone to check your notifications.

You had nearly 100 missed calls and texts from Jaehyun. You ignore them and block him. You aren’t sure what to think at this point, and it’s not like Jaehyun hasn’t deceived you before. You refuse to be taken for a fool any longer.

You open up the college social media app, CamPak, an app that allows only students on campus to connect with each other anonymously. It’s like Twitter, but for college students whose IP addresses fit the location of the college. You know you probably shouldn’t, but curiosity eats away at you in the silence of your apartment now.

You sigh and scroll through the posts.

Did anyone see those posters this morning? Is this a new nsfw club kkkkk sign me up

She’s hot!! Put the flyers back up

Poor girl must be so embarrassed

Why? She’s the one that posted them obvi, she wants attention

Nah that’s revenge porn

I’d show her a good time

Whoever posted these is a HOE

We don’t need to see this..let it stay on OnlyCams girl

The posts could’ve been worse, you think to yourself and put your phone down. You still feel embarrassed and know you need to be away from it all.

———

[Two Days Later]

“Hey, mom” you drop your duffel bag to the floor and pull your mom into the biggest hug.

“Oh! You’re home early, I thought you had about another month or so?”

You sob quietly, but not because you’re sad, but because it felt good to have someone hold you so lovingly. You’re relieved to be away from it all, and although it sucks having to switch to online classes so late, you prefer working from your home with only your mom around you.

“Yeah..well, I decided to leave early and finish up my classes from home.”

She pulls away to look at you, a frown coming across her face when she sees your swollen, red eyes.

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

You hesitate to tell her the truth, how could you explain that you were the one that allowed the photos to be taken in the first place? The last thing you needed was for her to scold you for not protecting yourself.

“Nothing…it’s just been a difficult semester, I’m glad to be home now.” You give her a small smile.

“If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Her eyes plead for an answer.

You nod. “Of course.”

You don’t need to relive your embarrassment by showing her the pictures and explaining everything, it’s all going to be okay now.

———

[Two Weeks Later]

You focus on your studies and get your work done online as expected. Bella tells you that students stopped talking about what happened a few days after you left. Luckily, social media and preparation for exams kept them busy enough to forget about it.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you finally feel like things are going back to normal, slowly, but surely. 

However, you still cry yourself to sleep on some nights. You miss Jaehyun and wonder what you did to deserve this treatment from him. All you did was love him with your entire heart. He took that for granted by risking your privacy and pulling you into a game you had no understanding of.

You never think of texting as this distance is necessary, but you didn’t know that he was keeping in contact with your mother. 

She loves him so much, thinking that he is incredibly charming and thereby, perfect for you. She thinks of him as her son already. So when he shows up to her house one day, she doesn’t hesitate to let him in.

“Honey!” She calls out to you as you wrap up a final paper while sitting at your desk in your room.

“Yes! I’m almost done.”

She still opens the door and peaks her head in.

“Jaehyun’s here. He says he couldn’t get you on your phone, so I told him you’ve been studying h-“

“What?!” You turn to look at her with wide eyes, your fingers begin to tremble over the keys of your laptop.

A week later, you’re finally starting to heal, and here he comes to ruin it all, to remind you of everything that went wrong.

Your mom’s brows furrow. “What’s wrong? Did you guys have a fight?”

“No..no, it’s fine.” You know how much Jaehyun means to her, but now is not the time to explain everything that’s happened. 

“Oh..ok. I’ll tell him to come up then.”

You fix your hair and put on lip balm to look somewhat decent while wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, but you don’t want him thinking your life has fallen apart completely.

He knocks and waits for you to answer.

“Y/n..”

You clear your throat. “Come in.” 

He pushes the door, stepping in quietly.

He wears a black hoodie over sweatpants too, but his hair is disheveled. He has a faint mustache and beard under his dark eye bags. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“What are you doing here?” You find it hard to look into his tired eyes so you look to the floor.

He closes the door behind him and steps towards you quickly, raising his hand to caress your face.

“Y/n..I’m so sorry, please forgive me..I-“

You step back away from him, bumping into your desk before gripping the edge hard. You feel the blood start to leave your knuckles.

“Get out..I don’t want to see you..” your eyes start to fill with tears as you speak weakly.

“Y/n..baby, it wasn’t me, and I swear to you I will get Reina back for this. She’s ruined you, she’s ruined us.”

“Us?” Your eyes flicker up to him.

“Stop acting like this is as difficult for you as it is for me, you’re not the one whose nudes were plastered all over campus and parts of the internet without consent. If you really cared about me, you would’ve done something already.”

Jaehyun’s hand goes to his side as his face falls. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I was a fool..please let me make this right.”

He leans in again, and you flinch as if scared of him for some reason.

He stares in confusion. You don’t want him to touch you anymore.

“Jaehyun…you can make this right by leaving. Don’t contact me or my mom again..” you start to cry and turn your back to him.

“It wasn’t me, I was hacked, you have to believe me!” He starts to cry as well. “I’d never do this to you.”

But the fact of the matter is he already did. He betrayed you by getting this job with Reina in the first place.

”You’re pathetic for trying to claim innocence right now. You know what’s funny, Jaehyun? I would’ve never known of Reina had it not been for you..”

He swallows hard and steps back.

You turn to face him. “If you hadn’t lied..if you hadn’t been greedy..If you weren’t the coward that you are.”

You’re almost unrecognizable as Jaehyun sees the rage in your eyes.

”Get. out.” You say firmly with tears streaming down steadily.

Whether or not Jaehyun released the pictures and posted them online, he was still the one that took them, he had possession. It would be hard to prove his innocence, not only to you, but to the world as well.

He knows this, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to love you again.

He turns to leave, but stops at the door. “I don’t blame you for being upset with me..but I will always love you, regardless of what happens.”

You exhale before falling onto your bed and wrapping yourself in your blankets. Your heart still aches for him, it hurts to be so cruel.

———

[Later That Day]

A plastered drunk Jaehyun slams the counter at the bar.

“Another shot!”

“Ooo..don’t you think you should slow down a bit?”

Reina sneaks up behind him while rubbing his back.

“Fuck..” he puts his head in his hands. She’s the last person he wants to see.

“You’re always so happy to see me, makes me feel loved.” She says sarcastically while sitting on the stool next to him.

“You’re..such a bitch..” he slurs out.

“But you love it, don’t you?” She pouts and places her fingers on his chin to tilt his face towards her. “If it makes you feel better, I do like the scruffy look.”

He pushes her hand away and stands up, he drunkenly stumbles through the crowd to get away from her, but she wraps an arm around his waist and helps him to the back. She pushes him against a wall and leans in close.

“Come on, Valentine Boy, it’s just you and me now, we can do whatever we want. We can make so much money again, what do you say?”

Jaehyun chuckles. “Reina..even enhancement pills won’t get me hard for you again.”

 He was done with her and completely disgusted after all she’d done to hurt you.

Reina’s fall smiles. “You don’t mean that..”

She tries to kiss him, but even in his drunken state, he’s able to push her way.

“Get off of me!”

She still doesn’t stop. “Look at me, Jaehyun, don’t I remind you of her? Treat me like you would treat her if she comes crawling back. You’d love to make love to her, wouldn’t you?”

She kisses his neck while holding his face in her hand. And for a brief moment, Jaehyun does imagine it’s you kissing him. Then, he has flashbacks of your heartbroken and angry face watching him leave. He’d never forget it, because it had been burned into his heart.

“You’re not her! You’ll never be her!” He brushes her off again, but in a fit of rage at his declination, Reina throws herself to the floor to make it seem as though he pushed her.

A ruckus is caused as men storm over to Jaehyun. “What the hell was that?!” They push him into the wall before he can explain.

“He hurt me!” Reina pretends to cry.

Jaehyun said no to her again, and this was unforgivable. She made her feel pain, so it’s only right that she does the same.

“Is he bothering you?” One of the men asks.

“Yes.” She sobs and stands up slowly.

The men take turns kicking Jaehyun down on the ground, making him spit up blood and groan. They pick him up and throw him outside of the bar and onto the street.

Eyes black and blue, stomach filled with bruises, and arms sore, but Jaehyun was convinced that he still didn’t feel as bad as you did. If this was his way to receive pain for what he did, then he’d gladly take it.

Reina hasn’t given up on him just yet, so she devises a plan. She bends over Jaehyun and chuckles. “You should’ve just said yes, Valentine Boy.”

She takes his phone out of his pocket and looks for your number. When she finds it, she puts it into her phone and heads home, leaving Jaehyun to groan in pain and roll around on the dirty pavement.

She calls you up and to her surprise, you actually answer.

You aren’t sure if it’s a professor trying to reach you about one of your finals so you answer just in case.

“Y/n..it’s me, Reina..I’m so sorry.”

You roll your eyes. “I should choke you for what you did.”

“I know..it seems like I’m the one that did this..” Reina starts to cry and sniffles over the line. “But it’s not true..I want to explain everything, I want to help you.”

And for some reason, you listen to her, you trust her. Jaehyun had proven he’s a liar before, but you wanted to hear Reina’s side of the story. So you listened and decided for yourself what you needed to do.

—————

[Three Days Later]

Your thumb hovers over the [send text] button on your phone. Did you really want this? Were you ready?

You take a deep breath and hit send.

You to Jaehyun: let’s meet

You put your phone face down on your desk right away and look to the floor, but just a few seconds later you hear a notification.

Jaehyun to You: yes, I can pick you up now if you’d like

You to Jaehyun: ok

You finally style your hair and put makeup on. You hadn’t felt like yourself since everything happened. You felt ashamed for some reason and a part of you felt that you didn’t deserve to feel pretty. All that changes tonight, however, you’re going to get your life back.

Within an hour Jaehyun arrives at your mom’s place to pick you up.

His eyes grow large at the sight of you in a flowy dress that compliments your body so well.

He hurriedly opens the passenger door and smiles.

“You look amazing.”

“Thanks..you look..better.” You give a small smile and sit inside his car. He cut his hair and shaved his beard and mustache. His eyes still look tired though. 

You look at the side of his face and observe all the features you missed. The way his slender neck looks in white crew neck shirts and how his sturdy pecs often peaked through if the collar was stretched. His arms looked toned, his veiny hands gripped the wheel hard. It all reminded you of the many nights you spent together with him pinning you down and making the best love to you.

Is this all that you missed him for though? Is it just lust, is it truly love? You question everything as you sit next to the man you once swore you would grow old with.

The air is tense during the drive to his place, neither of you want to be the first to say what’s on your mind.

“Are you…almost finished with your exams?”

Jaehyun breaks the silence.

“Y-yeah..I have one more. You?”

“I’m done, had my last one this morning.”

He nods and focuses on the road.

“That’s good” you look outside the window.

More time passes between you, creating an awkward space that you just have to break.

“I…forgive you, Jaehyun.”

He hits the brake a little too hard, causing the car to jerk you both forward in your seats. He turns to you now that you’re parked right outside his apartment.

“I-I’m so sorry, y/n…thank you, I promise to make it up to you and find those assholes. I was hacked and the techs at the library were able to wipe my hard drive so it never happens again.”

Did he wipe it to hide something or did he really get hacked? You thought to yourself.

You nod, desperately trying to hide your skepticism.

He leans in close, caressing the side of your face like you’re a precious jewel. “I love you..so much, you mean the world to me..and I’m sorry this happened to you.”

You place your hand over his, keeping his stare, but finding it hard to feel the love for him that you once felt in your heart.

“I know…let’s put it behind us..I just..want to spend time with you.” You start to tear up. You wish things to go back to how they used to be, but deep down you know that isn’t possible. He’s broken your trust more than once now, and you’re finding it hard to put the pieces back together.

Jaehyun, however, is ready for a third chance, his heart racing at the thought of you being his again. He’s going to do everything in his power to keep you this time.

“You mean everything to me.” His eyes fill with tears and it breaks your heart. You can’t help but feel sad when you see him like this. Despite all he’s put you through, it still hurt.

“I know..don’t cry, I’m right here..I’ll always be here.” You wipe his tears away before kissing him.

Your lips stay together for a few seconds before you pull away.

“Come on..let’s go inside.” You tilt your head towards his door.

As soon as you get inside, you resume your kiss while peeling your clothes off of each other, but stop when you feel movement around your ankles.

You pull away from Jaehyun’s lips and look down. “Wh-what’s that?”

“Oh!” He chuckles and bends down to pick up the gorgeous white and brown dog with huge ears. “This is Dora, I got her for you..for us, before everything went down..”He says softly as Dora sniffs your face.

You take her from him, your eyes welling with tears in the process.

“She’s..so precious, Jay.”

His eyes follow your soft face and he thinks of how much he missed you and hearing you call him that.

Your heart kept breaking that night, an overwhelming amount of emotions flowed through you. 

Why is he doing this to you? Why is he making you fall in love with him all over again?

You sniffle and place her back down.

“She’s perfect…thank you.”

You take his face in your hands and resume kissing him.

He drags the zipper of your dress down with one hand behind you, then overtakes your tongue with his, gaining a quiet moan from your body. 

The way he did things with such skill always turned you on.

Your dress falls to the floor, bunching up around your feet. You step out of it and bump into his kitchen counter while your lips are still attached.

When you open your eyes to unbutton his jeans you see bruises all along his midsection.

“Jay…what-what happened to you?” You pant.

“Oh..it’s nothing.” He tries to go back to kissing you, but you pull away.

“No..it definitely looks like something to me. No more secrets.” You look into his eyes.

“I-it’s stupid, I don’t want to talk about it right now..”

“Well..I do.”

Jaehyun sighs and looks to the ceiling. “Reina tried to get back with me and I told her no…she got a couple guys to beat me up.”

Your mouth falls. “What? Why would she—“

“Because she’s delusional..now kiss me before I go crazy.”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Why should I kiss a guy that can’t win a fight?”

He sticks his tongue in his cheek and chuckles while stepping back. “Touché”

“I’m just joking, come here..”

“Nah..I’m good.” He walks to his room.

You run after him. “Okay I’m sorry, let’s forget about-“

He turns around and grabs you by the waist, swiftly bringing you onto his bed.

He kisses you harshly, biting your lip. He shows off his multitasking skills once again by taking your bra off for you as you hover over him.

Once off, he lets your lips go and smiles. His dimples and soft crescent-shaped eyes make your heart weak. He holds your arms while nuzzling his face into your neck. You giggle at how ticklish it feels.

He then flips you over onto your back and looks into your eyes.

You feel goofy as you smile up at him.

“I missed you so much, baby” he whispers while searching your eyes.

“I missed you too..”

“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow.

You nod and bring your bottom lip between your teeth.

He leans back on his knees and licks his lips.

“Did you touch yourself when you missed me?”

You nod again.

“Sweetheart, let me hear your pretty voice..” he says lowly.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly as he looks down at you with lustful eyes.

“Yes..I did.”

“Naughty girl, you know your fingers can’t replace me, right?” His eyes fall from your exposed chest to the waistband of your panties.

“I know..but they still feel good.”

“Hmm, show me.” He demands.

You take your panties off and throw them to the side, then begin to finger yourself with Jaehyun watching intently.

He brings his jeans and underwear to the middle of his thigh before cupping a fist around his hard member.

You watch him move it up and down slowly and at the same tempo at which you tease your entrance to build your own arousal.

When you put two fingers in you moan and throw your head back.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck..you’re so wet already”

“Only for you, Jay..” you whimper and close your eyes tightly while thinking about the times when Jaehyun had you reeling from his thrusts.

He nearly cums from hearing your breathy words.

You move your fingers in and out of your silky walls, pushing in deeper and deeper. You find that fleshy spot and massage the tips of your fingers against it, just barely applying pressure.

Jaehyun pumps his cock up and down as well, nearly drooling from the sight of your essence-covered fingers entering you over and over.

“Fuck..I’m gonna fun, baby.” You move your fingers faster, but Jaehyun quickly grabs your wrist, placing your dripping fingers into his mouth to suck them clean.

“So good..you taste so good..”

He kisses your neck while aligning his cock with you. Your hands massage his back as you call out his name. 

“Jay..it’s been so long baby, I need you.”

He teases you for a bit, running the tip just along the slit.

“I know..” he groans into your neck and finally pushes into you all the way. You gasp, your nails dig into his back.

No matter how much you prepped yourself for him, he always felt big. 

He thrusts into you slowly, ensuring that you feel every vein while adjusting to him.

You mewl as your head spins. It feels so good to have him on you after all this time. For a moment, you forget about everything that's happened.

“Ahhh pretty baby, God you’re so tight.”

He kisses your neck and thrusts harder.

“All for me, right? I just have to stuff you well. You can handle it, right?”

You moan. “Yes! Harder, please!”

And Jaehyun listens, pounding you into the bed over and over to hear your scream louder. 

He places both legs over his shoulders, grasping your ankles as he fits himself into your body at a different angle.

Your mouth falls open as you call out his name again.

It doesn’t take long for you to quiver around him, cumming hard while your eyes roll to the back of your head. He moves a few more times then cums too, coating your walls with so much, you’re sure that some will leak out.

“Better than your fingers.” He smirks and falls down onto the bed beside you.

You chuckle and lay on his chest.

“I think I need another shower.”

———

[One Week Later]

For Jaehyun, everything went back to normal. You love him and he loves you, you both take care of your darling Dora together. You go on dates and talk about life  as you always do. You make love and spend time cuddling together whenever you’re at his place.

For you, however, it feels different. Jaehyun was the love of your life, but he kept hurting you and you felt the scars on your heart hesitating to heal. You try your best to smile and act as if you don’t suspect him. Your brain tells you everything is okay, but your heart is saying something else.

In the end, would this hurt you or him more?

“Hey. What do you think of this one?” Jaehyun breaks you out of your thoughts as you stare across the vast land of the vineyard.

You’re on a vineyard tour together and get the pleasure of trying different wines.

He hands you a small cup to take a drink out of.

You drink it and close your eyes for dramatic effect. “Oooo..” you exhale. “Nice.”

Jaehyun smiles widely. “I like that one too. Come on, let's grab a bottle.”

“Whoa whoa there, we just started the tour..” you laugh. “What if there are others we like?”

He steps closer to you, gazing down into your wide eyes. “I’ll buy every single one you like.”

You look away and scoff. “You’re so cheesy.”

He chuckles before taking your hand in his and kissing it.  “Only for you.”

The day goes by and you finally get to Jaehyun’s place.

You make out by his front door as you say goodbye.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay over?” He says in between kisses. He rubs his hand along your back.

“I’d love to..trust me, but I have something to take care of.”

You smile back.

“Oh..ok, do you need me to drive you?”

“No, I got it!” You say quickly while stepping back.

“Oh. Well, I’ll see you later then.” He smile before waving you off. “Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay!” You yell over your shoulder then walk swiftly out of his sight.

Jaehyun felt something was off about the way you said bye just now, but he shrugs his shoulders and heads inside to Dora.

“Just me and you now, girl.” He bends down and kisses the top of her head.

Meanwhile, once far away, you look back to make sure Jaehyun’s door is shut and he is inside. You then call an Uber.

The Uber drops you off at a place you never thought you’d be at again.

Reina’s apartment.

——————

[One Week Later]

You and Jaehyun have dinner and a Netflix movie date. The food was fantastic and you truly enjoyed your time with Jaehyun. It was romantic and reminded you of the old days.

 Something about him at night with his sharp facial features illuminated by candle lights made him irresistible.

Your dress suddenly felt tighter as he gazed into your eyes while holding your hand.

“Should we go now?” He asks smoothly as if hearing your thoughts about how badly you wished he’d rail you across the table right then and there.

“Sure.”

While on your way to his place, you receive a text.

You’re coming over tonight, right?

A big bidder messaged me saying he’ll be there

Remember you get half

You quickly closed your phone screen and looked out the window.

“Everything okay?”

Jaehyun squeezes your thigh gently.

You turn to him. “Yeah..yeah definitely. It’s just…”

His brows raise. “Just what?”

You frown. “I have to take care of something again tonight.”

“Oh! Are you sure? Is it something I can help you with?” His hand grips the wheel as he speaks huskily. He was slowly starting to get  tired of you leaving him alone at nights. Something felt off again and he wasn’t sure why.

You sigh. “Unfortunately, no, I have to go in about 30 minutes.”

“Oh…damn.” He exhales.

You sit in silence for about two minutes as he drives home, then he pulls over on the side of the road.

“Something wrong with the car? What are you doing?” Are you nervous about him suddenly stopping? Does he know?

Jaehyun puts the car in park then turns to you. “You said 30 minutes, right?”

You nod as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Okay..we have time..I’ve been thinking about you in that dress all night.”

He runs a hand through his hair then licks his lips.

He leans in for a kiss and you kiss him back fervently, he kisses you like he’ll never get a chance to again, tugging your bottom lip before licking over it. He turns his head to get more and you give him just what he is asking. His hands hold the sides of your face still as you fall into him more and more, but then, you remember the texts and pull away after a few seconds.

“God..you’re so good…but I really can’t..” you say breathily.

Jaehyun’s brows bunch together. “W-why?”

You look at his lips. “I really want to…I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“But baby, we have like 25 minutes at least let me taste you..”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”

You lied to him, but it was the only way to get him to start driving again.

You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks, you wanted to, but it didn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head again while looking to the floor. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as your heart beat out of your chest.

“No..no, it’s not you, it’s me..I just need you to be patient with me, okay?”

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun nods and puts the car back in drive, feeling like a huge jerk for making your discomfort about him.

As you’d done a week prior, you wait for Jaehyun to get inside then call an Uber.

You head inside Reina’s apartment and get ready for your second love video with her and Taeyong, her new male counterpart.

“Are you going to be able to do it this time?” She asks as you place your bag down on the couch. You look onto the intimidating setup with lights and a tripod before swallowing hard.

“She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to..although it would be nice, I’m sure she tastes amazing.” Taeyong leaves the kitchen and heads towards you.

“I’m ready.” You look into his eyes. You couldn’t put up with this game of playing with Jaehyun’s heart for much longer. You were slowly starting to fall in love with him all over again, only hurting yourself in the process.  You knew how this would work out.

If it hurt you to do this to him, why didn’t it hurt him when he had done the same for months? Did he truly care about you?

“Great.” Reina smiles before handing you a baby pink lingerie set complete with a leather collar to put on. 

You freshen up in the bathroom and put the lingerie on. You look amazing, but you wished you felt the same way. It’s hard to be cruel, especially to someone you once loved.

You step out and hear ooo’s and aaa’s by both Reina and Taeyong.

“Thank you..” you smile slightly.

Having your pictures being shared all over,  being labeled as a slut awakened something inside of you. Was it so bad to have people list after your body? Well, not really. But you should at least get paid for it, right? At this point, you didn’t have anything to lose, but you’d get the opportunity to enact revenge on Jaehyun. That was your true goal.

“Now..let’s have some fun.” 

Reina places the final touches on your lipstick and looks into your eyes. “You look beautiful, y/n. I know it’s your first time, and I know you’re nervous, but it will be okay, just follow my lead.”

You lay down on the bed and stare at the camera as she turns it on.

Comments flood the screen of the laptop behind it almost immediately. So many people were waiting for her, and in your novice mind, you still couldn’t compute just how big this online community is.

How could Jaehyun hide this from you for so long?

Taeyong wore pink shorts to match your set and a collar as well. He crawled onto the bed beside you before getting on his knees and leaning down.

“Baby girl..look at me..” the tattooed boy says smoothly. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin towards him. He smiles softly before placing his thumb on it and kissing your lips.

You had met him once before this to take your tests at the clinic together. Everything came back negative for all 3 of you, relieving you of any concerns regarding that. Nonetheless, he seemed to be a sweet guy and his looks were just as striking as Jaehyun’s. 

His sharp jawline provided a wildly stark contrast to his large brown eyes. Reina described him as the perfect partner, and even thanked Jaehyun for leaving her as Taeyong was more “flexible,” and not just in terms of working hours.

He’d take any position she asked him to.

But when preparing for tonight, you asked that they both be in charge. You’d be the one to listen and follow their instructions.

Taeyong maneuvered his lips in a way that made you dizzy. Jaehyun was a great kisser, but Taeyong wrote the guidebook. His tongue overtaking yours as his bottom lip caressed yours. You moaned quietly, raising a hand to grasp his arm and pull him closer. He smelled and felt amazing as he bent over your body.

For a moment, you forgot about everything, you didn’t think about Jaehyun or even remember the blinking red light of the camera. All you felt was Taeyong, but then Reina places her phone down and gets onto the bed beside you. She kisses your neck, leaving her rouge and warmness all over it.

She kisses along your shoulder, sucking hard and biting into the skin slightly. You whimper at the sudden harshness of her teeth against you.

She then kissed lower and lower until getting to your bra. She pulls the cup covering your hard nipples down and begins to suck the nub. Taeyong releases your lips and kneels back away from you.

“Mhmm..just as sweet as I imagined.”

He smirks while rubbing his thumb along your lips, dipping it in and out slowly as you hollow your cheeks and suck.

They way he looks down at you with swollen red lips and they way Reina flicks her tongue against your sensitive breast makes your toes curl.

You watch him palms his hard member through his boxers, noting how a wet mark appears where his precum has already leaked. Turns out he’s just as turned on as you are.

“Do you want it?” Reina pulls away to ask.

You nod, completely unashamed of how desperate you seemed.

She chuckles. “You have to work for it first.”

Meanwhile, Jaehyun gets a text on his phone after getting home from his walk with Dora. His eyes widened.

He immediately tries to call you, but you don’t answer. He doesn’t stop, dialing you over and over hopes that you pick up. Little does he know that all parts of you are currently occupied by Reina and Taeyong.

Your phone lights up on the kitchen counter from his notifications while you take Taeyong’s cock into your mouth.

Your fingers find Reina’s dripping flower as she continues to suck your nipples.

Taeyong grabs the leash attached to your collar and tugs it slightly to choke you.

“Such a good girl..taking me all in like that.”

You involuntarily moan, sending vibrations onto him. He groans and curses as he moves his hips to drive himself deeper and deeper into your throat.

Reina dips her fingers into your thong and begins flicking the tips against your clit.

You begin to choke as you have trouble breathing while Taeyong destroys your throat. The feeling is raw, but you’re so wet by being like this for them, you don’t mind it.

You feel dizzy and drool drips down your chin.

Taeyong is turned on by the sight below him, his movement stutters as he pulls out and pants. You look up with wide eyes while breathing heavily. Something about him was hypnotizing. You lay your tongue out as he unloads onto it, feeling yourself clench around nothing as you cum as well.

Jaehyun stares at his screen after hearing your voicemail come up for the 10th time. It was vital that he get through to you now. What could’ve been so important that you wouldn’t answer him?

He then sees a notification pop up at the top of it.

“watch Rein on Me Live right now! First 2 minutes FREE” 

“Rein on Me” is Reina’s username.

His breath hitches in his throat. Why does he still have her notifications set to “on”?” He thinks to himself and turns the screen off. 

He sits down on the couch and puts his elbows on his knees while thinking about where you could possibly be right now.

And then, curiosity gets the best of him. He picks the phone up, clicking the link while holding his breath.

Why is his heart racing? Is he curious to see if she’s gotten another partner for her videos? He’s not sure why, but what he sees shocks him, breaking his heart instantly.

You are on your knees with your ass up, having your collar pulled by Reina who is below you.

Taeyong pushes into you while you choke on Reina’s strapped on cock.

Taeyong grabs your ass, slamming into you so hard, feeling tears escape the corner of your eyes. 

“Oh look..she’s crying, Tae. I think you should give her something to cry harder about.”

You put a hand up behind you and onto his abs, pushing him away slightly, begging him to be softer on you.

But he chuckles then slams into you again while placing two fingers into your clit and rubbing circles onto it.

“Oh? Is this too much for you?”

They did give you a safe word for when it all came to be too much, but you wouldn’t dare say it now. Although you were being stuffed on both ends and had trouble breathing as a result, Taeyong felt amazing in between your velvet walls and his loud groans and whimpers told you he felt the same.

You shake your head.

“Good, because you’re gripping my cock like you love this. Isn’t that right? Our girl is a slut, Reina, look at her drooling again.”

The chat room is filled with praises and donations. The viewers loved seeing you like this and hearing the dirty talk between the two. Some wanted to be you, and some wanted to fuck you.

Jaehyun’s eyes grow, his focus shifts from the video and to the comments requesting even lewder acts from the 3 of you. How could this happen? How could you betray him like this? Either way, he has to stop this now.

He puts his phone in his pocket and heads out.

He drives angrily, finding it hard to see the road through his teary eyes. He was so angry he could feel the heat escaping his nostrils as he gripped the steering wheel hard.

Meanwhile, it was Reina’s turn to fuck you with her strap.

She lays on the bed on her back, facing the camera upside down. She rubs her soft hands along your thighs as you mount her.

“Ride me well, or we’ll spank you until you can’t sit on your ass for weeks.”

“Yes..” you lower your aching pussy onto the dual ended strap and begin moving.

Reina whimpers as her side of the dildo enters her with each time you go down.

“That’s it, baby, don’t stop.” Taeyong says breathily in your ear while unhooking your bra. 

“Fuck.” He kneels behind you, bringing your hand to cup his hard cock.

He kisses your neck as he pinches your nipples to hear you cry out his name.

Reina rubs your clit with her thumb making you gasp and swivel your hips faster to gain another high. Taeyong then tilts your head towards him and kisses you deeply. He grips your throat, squeezing slightly as his tongue explores your mouth.

He begins to leak all over your hand, but you don’t stop pumping him. You close your eyes and ride Reina even faster, enjoying Taeyong’s passionate kiss as you imagine it to be him you were on top of.

He pulls away, allowing a string of spit to connect your two mouths.

He licks it up then looks into your eyes with a lustful stare. “She’s close, be a good girl and make her cum.”

You nod then lower yourself onto Reina, pulling her bra down to reveal her incredibly perfect breasts. You lick and suck her nipples while fingering her clit.

Taeyong licks his lips at the sight of your dripping opening gliding up and down on the dildo with ease. He pumps his cock and aligns it with your ass while your focus remains on coaxing a well deserved orgasm out of Reina.

He enters you unexpectedly, forcing just half of himself into you before you let out a high pitched scream.

“Oh my god!” You grip the sheets on either side of Reina’s head while your legs tremble at the feeling of being stretched out.

“Ahh kitten, so tight..fuck.” He grabs your waist, digging his fingertips into it to leave what may be a permanent indentation.

He pushes himself all the way in, making you cry again.

You rub your own fingers into Reina faster, making her cum hard. Her eyes roll to the back of your head as she pulls on your leash.

“You’re so pretty like this, isn’t she Tae?”

Reina moans out. “Yes..the prettiest kitten.” He struggles to get out while watching himself enter your tight opening once more.

Reina moves from under you, pulling the strap out of both her and you.

She takes the end that was inside you and puts it in front of your face. “Open, and taste yourself.” She demands.

You open your mouth, sucking it off while looking into her eyes.

You whimper as Taeyong goes so deep inside you, you feel you might go crazy and truly won’t be able to walk for another week. It’s a miracle how he's able to be so big.

“Come on, baby, tell me how good it feels to have me fill you up like this.”

“Feels..so good..” you can’t hold your body up anymore, you fall into the bed as he pounds into you.

More and more payments flood the notification on the laptop screen. Taeyong pushes into you faster while grabbing your leash, and you’re both about to cum again when you hear the front door fly open.

Your eyes open in confusion as you look up at Reina.

She looks confused too. She quickly pauses the broadcast and right after the bedroom door flies open.

“Get the fuck off of her!” Jaehyun stomps towards Taeyong, laying a fist into his face so fast, all 3 of you fail to comprehend exactly what’s happened.

Taeyong falls into the bed as Reina rushes over.

“Jaehyun!” You yell, jumping off of the bed and grabbing the sheets to cover your body.

There goes your dazed feeling.

“What the FUCK is going on here? Reina, what the hell did you do? How could you get her involved in something like this?!” Jaehyun is so angry, his hands create fists at his sides as he glares at Reina. She doesn’t pay attention to him, however, trying to see just how bad his punch was towards Taeyong.

You calm your nerves and finally tell Jaehyun the truth.

“It was my idea, Jaehyun..I want to do this…to get back at you.” 

He turns to you with a confused look in his eyes. You don’t turn away from his stare this time, you look into his eyes and remain strong. You thought of all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, of all the times you felt like you weren’t good enough for him.

You thought of his betrayal and the acts it left you.

“W-what?”

You scoff. “Don’t give me that, Jaehyun. I know it was you..I know that it was you who sold the pictures of me and put them up on campus.” You walk closer and closer to him while speaking harshly. 

“I know you wanted to embarrass me and make me desperate for you..so I tricked you..like you tricked me this entire time, I made you fall in love, just so I could break your heart.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as they fill with tears. His mouth falls open. “You…you really think I could do that to you?”

You nod. “After everything you did to me, you still try to pretend to love me.”

Jaehyun gasps. “Pretend?” He shakes his head. “I have always loved you. There’s not a moment in my goddamn life that I don’t think about you.”

You finally break your gaze, finding it hard to keep your eyes focused on him as he cries endlessly.

“Look..I may have done something shitty and I deeply regret it, but I could never embarrass or dehumanize you like that.” He sniffles. “I’d never put you in danger.”

“Stop lying Jaehyun! We know you were trying to get back at both of us, I tried to stop you!” Reina yells while holding Taeyong, who is still knocked out.

“Fuck you! You’re the reason all of this is happening.”

He takes his phone out and shows you a text he received from his friend. The text he had been calling you about all night.

“Look.. it’s a photo taken from a security camera on campus. I asked my buddy, who volunteers at the police station, to do some digging for me two weeks ago because I wanted to find out who’d done this to you.”

You look at the picture, a breath leaving you once you see who is stapling a print out of your scandalous photo onto a tree.

You turn to her, tears falling onto your cheeks.

“You fucking bitch.”

Reina loses a semblance of her coolness and clears her throat.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” You sob.

“Because she wants me! She’s so desperate to have me to herself, she’d do something as cruel as this!”

You hold your face in your hands.

“Jaehyun..I’m so sorry..” you reach out to hold him, but he pulls away.

“I’m not surprised by her, but I’m disappointed in you. You’ve hurt me..so badly.” He walks out as you run after him, still clutching the sheet to your body.

“Jaehyun, please!! She showed me the video you made a week before you came to my moms house! She said you were back to making videos together!” You tell him, but Jaehyun shakes his head and turns to you in shock.

“I’d been taking exams the entire time, y/n. There’s no way I’d do that! She just uploads old videos of us to get more money!”

You look back at Reina as she leaves the room too. “Oh..my God.” You crouch down to the floor. How could you be so easy…again?

Reina chuckles and crosses her arms before leaning against the door frame. She nods. “Well..this isn’t exactly how I’d expect things to go down, but I should’ve known you’d still be subscribed to me as part of the notification crew..” she whistles before continuing.

“Yes..I lied, yes..I hacked his iCloud and printed those sexy pics of you, y/n. But it’s only because I wanted to teach him a lesson. He can’t leave me..I made him.” She laughs again. “And to leave me for you? Oh that pissed me off even more. He makes you seem like you’re an angel on Earth. No..he doesn’t deserve you, he deserves someone like me.“ She walks towards him and attempts to touch his chest but he steps back and looks down on her in disgust.

“Valentine Boy deserves someone as lustful, self-centered, and greedy as himself..”

“You’re cruel. And what you did was a crime. I hope it was worth it.”

He speaks sharply.

You cry and remember the call you had just a few weeks ago with her.

[REINA’s CALL]

“I understand why you’re upset..I’d be too, but you have to understand that this is just Jaehyun’s way of getting back at you.. he was upset that you made him stop. He was desperate for cash so he sold your pics y/n.”

You gasp while listening to her over the phone. Should you have listened to her? Maybe not, but could you really trust Jaehyun after everything? After all, he did take the photos.

“I begged him not to..I told him this would ruin you, but he did it anyway..he made some cash, but he didn’t expect whoever these jerks were to print them out and put them all over campus as a joke.”

You scoff. A joke? That’s all this was for them, a joke.

Reina continues. “He got drunk the other night and came to see me. He said that he didn’t expect all this to happen, but that it worked out in his favor anyway. You’d eventually realize that no one else would love you because you've been exposed and praised as a pornstar slut all over campus. You’d be reliant on him forever..or so he hopes. But I won't let that happen, y/n. I want to help you get your revenge.”

“Why should I believe you?”

Reina exhales. “Listen, I have nothing to lose by telling you the truth. As a matter of fact, I have something to gain. If he gets back with you, he’ll stop doing videos with me, and I’ll stop making money. So I’ll need you to break his heart, therefore he’ll come running back to me. Capeesh? Everyone is happy. And I’d you don’t believe me, take a look at the link I just texted you..”

You look at your phone and click the link. It’s a video of Jaehyun and Reina on OnlyCams with the broadcast date showing “One Week Ago.”

Your brows bunch as you grind your teeth. This bastard was already back to this without you being in his life.

He was misleading you again.

“See? You’ve only been separated for a few weeks and he’s already back to making videos and money with me..”

You can almost hear her smile over the phone as you sit there with steam escaping your ears.

“What is it you want from me?” You let out through clenched teeth.

“Ask to be his girlfriend again, then start making videos with me..break his heart this time so that he gives up on you..get your revenge and make money at the same time. You’re pretty enough and by now I’m sure you’re used to everyone looking at your body. So…join us.”

[PRESENT DAY]

“Jaehyun..wait..please, I was stupid, I’m sorry I hurt you!”

You stand up from the floor and hurriedly change into your T-shirt and sweatpants that you brought. You run after Jaehyun as he heads out of the door.

However, Reina pushes you to the side to run after him first. She hurries down the stairs.

“Jaehyun!! Don’t go..I love you more than she does, can’t you see? I went through all this trouble for you! I never doubted you, I never hurt you, I only loved you and shared what I had!”

She wraps her arms around his waist from the back, keeping him still as she sobs.

“You’re everything to me, I need you, baby.”

Your mouth falls open as you watch from the top of the stairs.

This was Reina’s plan all along and you fell for it, like an idiot. You allowed yourself to be played.

You rush down and run away, through the trees, hoping that no one will find you. You’re beyond embarrassed and devastated at how everything has turned out.

Jaehyun pries Reina off of him, grabbing her arms off and pushing her away. She calls onto the ground and reaches up for him, but he only grimaces and steps back again.

“Leave me alone!! You’re fucking crazy! If I see you again, I swear I will call the cops!”

In a final desperate attempt, she grabs his ankle. “If you leave me, I will send everything to your dad!”

Jaehyun’s mouth falls open.

“You wouldn’t dare..” he says with venom on his tongue, he truly couldn’t believe she’d do this to him.

“I don’t love you, I never have and I never will.” He pulls his foot away and continues to his car to drive after you.

He looks all over but doesn’t see a trace in the night sky.

He then takes his phone out of his pocket and goes to dial you, but Reina grabs it out of his hand and throws it to the ground in a fit of rage, breaking it instantly.

“You fucking bitch!” He places both hands around her neck and begins to choke her.

She smiles. “Yes, Valentine Boy, come inside and punish me.”

He grows even angrier, letting go and jumping into his car.

“No no no..don’t go!” She slams the trunk of it as he drives off.

“Fuck…” he drives everywhere, looking through the woods to see if he can catch a glimpse of you running through them. 

You find somewhere to rest and crouch down while crying. Your hands shake. How could everything go to shit so quickly?

You take your phone and call Bella.

“Hey..I’m coming over.” You sob.

When you get to your shared apartment, Bella welcomes you with a big hug. “I missed you so much.” She tears up.

You sit down and explain everything to her as she consoles you. Jackson is there as well, making ramen noodles in the kitchen for you.

“Y/n..it’s not your fault, I probably would’ve done the same thing.” He says as he walks in with a bowl.

You take it from him as you sniffle.

“She’s a bitch, she manipulated you. God I can't wait until she gets arrested!”

Bella clenches her fists.

“How..will Jaehyun forgive me? He’ll never look at me again.” You cry harder again.

“No no don’t say that, you’ve forgiven him more than once, he’ll probably forgive you too. Just talk to him…give him some time to calm down, then call him.” Bella rubs your back as you listen. She was right, if Jaehyun truly loved you, maybe he would see it from your point of view and forgive you.

You nod. “Okay.”

And after finishing your noodles and taking a shower, you fall asleep.

———

[The Next Day]

You rub your swollen, red eyes and pick up your phone instantly.

You have no new notifications Jaehyun, only his missed calls from before everything went down. You swallow hard and dial him back, but it goes straight to voicemail. You then send him a text, but receive a message.

The subscriber you are trying to message is not accepting calls or texts at this time.

You sigh and put your phone down on the bed. As expected, Jaehyun blocked you. He’s deeply hurt and wants nothing to do with you. And so you cry again, clutching your pillow to your chest as the day goes on.

Jaehyun stares out of his window and thinks of you. He misses you so much, and now he can’t call you as his phone was destroyed by Reina.

Now that he’s calmed down and erased the image of you having sex with another man from his mind for a moment, he realizes you  both messed up, you both hurt each other and he wanted to talk with you to see if you still don’t trust him or rather, do you love him at all anymore?

He’s not sure if you’re at your mom’s place or your place near campus with Bella, or if you even made it home safe..but he needs to find you.

He takes a shower, feeds and walks Dora then gets ready to head out in the afternoon, but he is stopped when he hears a knock on his door.

Dora barks before he shushes her and taps her behind lightly.

He braces himself. Could it be Reina? Could it be you? Could it be the guy he knocked out?

He looks through the peephole and sees someone he didn’t expect.

He opens the door and allows the man in.

“How’s my favorite nephew doing?” Jaehyun’s uncle, Charlie, pats his shoulder before stepping towards the couch.

Jaehyun looks at him nervously, but follows behind.

His uncle is a professor at the college. He was instructed by his father to watch over Jaehyun carefully, but in respect for Jaehyun’s growth as an adult, Charlie never overstepped or took his role too seriously.

“Hi..what’s going on?”

He places his bag down and sits beside him.

“Well..you and I…I guess I should say, you are in some deep shit.”

Jaehyun places his hands in a fist in front of him and his eyes lay on the coffee table.

He placed his fingers over his bruised knuckles, swallowing hard as he anticipates what his uncle will say next.

Not many things bothered Jaehyun, but impromptu visits from his family members always made him uneasy. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that girl whose pictures were put all over campus the other day, would you?”

Charlie leans forwards

“Why do you ask?”

Jaehyun clears his throat.

“Oh well…I just thought you might know something..” 

Jaehyun turns to him and speaks softly. “Uncle..why are you really here?”

“Jaehyun..you know..how your father is..”

Upon hearing this, Jaehyun suddenly remembers Reina’s threat. His eyes widened.

“He knows..I know, your mom knows…I mean, personally, I don’t care, it’ll all be erased at some point, but Jaehyun..it’s not looking good for you.”

His uncle continues as he sits back on the couch and exhales.

“Why’d you do it? It’s not like you need the money. Is this like a young couple thing? Is she your..girlfriend?”

“No!…no, not at all..” Jaehyun stands up. He’s furious that Reina really actually exposed him to his father despite knowing their rocky relationship with each other.

“I’m not sure why I did it, Charlie, maybe I needed to feel independent. Maybe I just don’t like asking my hypocritical father for anything..”

Charlie nods, sighing again before fixing his tie. “Well, Jaehyun..whatever your reason is, I get it. You’re your own person.”

Jaehyun stands in silence while clenching his fist.

“Nonetheless, your father is pissed…he wants you back in Korea.”

“What?!” Jaehyun turns around and stares in shock.

“I know..I know..he’s a bit dramatic, but he’s not happy about you becoming a “pornstar.” His words, not mine.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not going back.”

Charlie stands and holds his hands out in front of him. “Look, I know you love it here and you don’t want to be anywhere near your father, but think of it this way. You can start fresh back home and learn what it’s like to run a business. Eventually, you’ll make your own money again and won’t have to rely on anyone!”

“But that’s exactly what’s gonna happen! I’ll have to rely on him to get the position! It’s not fair!”

“Jaehyun..I know, you’re upset right now, but just go..at least for the summer break. Maybe you need some time away to rethink everything.”

“No..I won’t.” He looks into Charlie’s eyes.

“Tell him I said “no.””

Charlie sighs and looks to the floor. “He won’t pay for your college anymore…you’ll officially be on your own, cut out of the family name completely, is that what you really want?”

Jaehyun remains silent as he contemplates his choices.

“Think about it and let me know soon so I can help, I’ll try to calm him down for now.”

He lays a hand on his shoulder and leaves.

———

[3 Days Later]

You finally leave your bed and decide to treat yourself to some coffee from the cafe on campus. Jaehyun never showed up or called so you stopped expecting him to. However, you still thought about him all the time. You missed him so much, but if space is what he wanted, then you were in no position to deprive him of that.

This was your punishment for hurting him.

You stuff your hands in your hoodie and look up at the menu, knowing very well that you’ll just choose what you always do. An iced grande caramel macchiato.

You smile while taking the drink from the barista and look for a seat.

You find your favorite comfy chair in the corner and place your laptop on the table in front of it.

So far, your day is going pretty well. Favorite drink, favorite seat. What else would go right for you?

You needed to distract yourself from thinking of Jaehyun. You take a few sips while reading a novel Bella recommended to you. 

Gentle Monsters.

It’s about a woman who runs, literally, into a handsome man that operates a glass conservatory. The catch is he happens to be hiding a dark secret.

Your eyes scan through the pages quickly as the drama gets juicy and then..your laptop screen is pushed down.

“Hey! What the h-“

“Hey..”

Your eyes grow when you see who takes a seat across from you.

“T-Taeyong?”

“Mhm” he smiles while sipping a pink drink. He wore sunglasses and as he tilted his head, you could see remnants of the bruise Jaehyun left him.

“What..are you doing here?”

“Oh, I didn’t know dashingly good looking boys couldn’t be college students too.”  He says sarcastically.

“I didn’t know you studied here..so does that mean..you saw my pictures? Did you know about me before we met?”

Your face becomes warm as you lean forward and whisper.

“No..I didn’t..I don’t pay that much attention to what happens on campus to be honest.”

You exhale and relax in your chair.

“And if I had, what would it matter now? I’ve already seen…everything..” he eyes you up and down. His gaze is almost too much to bear and you start to feel like Patrick Starr’s rock home under the sea is the perfect place for you right about now.

“Ugh..” you close your eyes and shake your head. “Please..don’t remind me.”

Taeyong’s mouth falls open. “What? Was it that bad?”

“No..it was..magnificent..you were, I mean, are magnificent..it’s just…”

He chuckles as you stumble over your words.

What could you say? He had an intense aura about him that made you nervous. What made matters worse was the fact that a small part of you wanted to kiss him again.

“Oh..magnificent, I like that.” He says in a growl while running a hand through his luscious brown hair.

For some reason, it felt like you were cheating on Jaehyun again so you looked away quickly. “I’m..sorry about Jaehyun, he shouldn’t have hit you..it’s all my fault.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine..you can just make it up to me later.”

You laugh and look outside the window. “Gosh you’re interesting..”

“And magnificent..” he places his sunglasses on top of his head to wink at you.

“Hey!” A girl stops by your table and squints.

“Aren’t you that girl from the posters?” Her friend beside her snickers.

“Oh..” you look down at the table.

They laugh loudly, and begin to create a scene inside the quiet cafe. “Nice! I guess nothing is left to the imagination anymore! Talk about desperate!”

You swallow hard and tap the table while waiting for them to just walk away. You could’ve gone off on them, but what would that do? They’d only make fun of you as more people look up and start to recognize your face too.

Taeyong grows angry once he sees how upset you look. “What’s so funny? Look, I’d be insecure too when she has a perfect face and body and I look like..” he looks her up and down and grimaces. 

“that..” he fakes a total body shiver.

“Better get going, I think Shrek is looking for his long lost cousin.” He says smoothly while giving an evil glare. He puts a finger on his chin and squints. “Congratulations on being the first ogres to be admitted to this school. Yay! diversity!”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Go away now before I call animal control.” he shoos them away.

Damn, he was lethal. You’d hate to be on his bad side.

The girl’s friend scoffs before saying “fuck you..” and walks away.

“I wouldn’t fuck you with the lights off, bitch.”

Your eyes grow.

“Taeyong!”

“What? They’re rude and ugly.” He rolls his eyes.

You found it hot that he’d defend you like this and simply laugh again.

“Anyway, once I found out about Reina’s plan and what she did to you, I left. I want nothing to do with her.” He sips his drink again.

“Yeah..I’m sorry she used you too..”

“Oh don’t be sorry, on the bright side, I got to meet you.” 

A moment of silence rests between the two of you.

You nod and start to gather your things.

“Well, I should get going!”

“Y/n..” he says as he touches your hand on the table.

“I’d love to spend time with you again..”

You take your hand away and tuck it into your pocket again.

“Oh..I don’t plan on doing anything like that ever again, I’m sorry.”

Taeyong laughs. “No..of course not like that, get your head out of the gutter…I mean, time like this at a cafe or park, or something..you’re nice to talk to.”

“Oh..shit, I don’t know why I was thinking that like of course you meant just regular time like this, it’s just the way you said it, you know like the way you touched my hand, I-“

He laughs before standing up from the table. “You’re a mess, let me walk you out.”

Taeyong held your hand to help you stand up from the soft chair.

You walked outside together, but said your goodbyes as you headed in different directions.

“Y/n..” he calls out to you as you walk away.

“Yeah?”

“Phone.”

You fish your phone out of your pocket quickly and hand it to him. He smiles from ear to ear as he puts his number into your phone.

“Don’t be shy now, remember I’ve already seen everything..” he leans in close to your ear. “And I love it..”

You gasp as you punch his chest lightly.

“I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

He waves while trotting away.

You stand there dumbfounded and completely smitten by the man, then you suddenly remember Jaehyun and wonder if these new feelings told you you were over him.

Jaehyun wonders the same thing as he watches from across the street.

He was heading to your place with a bouquet of flowers when he saw you and the man he punched leaving the cafe. He decided to park into a spot a few spaces away and watch your interaction.

You looked..happy. This man made your eyes light up, and the sight was much more painful than watching you get fucked by him.

He now knew that emotions were involved. But did he have any right to be upset? If you decided to move on, why shouldn’t he accept that? You’re doing what’s best for you.

He looks at the flowers in his passenger seat.

He was hurt by everything, but he still felt bad for dragging you into all of this in the first place. He was going to apologize and attempt to prove his worthiness as a boyfriend once more, but after seeing you so happy with another man, he isn’t sure if he had any more chances to take.

A few hours later, you receive a call from campus police.

They positively identified Reina as the person that placed the photos everywhere so they ask if you’d like to press charges for harassment while they charge her for vandalism and breaking into private property.

You nod and say “yes.” The process would be long to convict her of this crime against you, for anyone could argue that you voluntarily took the photos. But you’re determined to teach her and anyone else that thinks of posting “revenge porn” a lesson.

———

[One Week Later]

You finally receive a text from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun to You: I just got a new phone..I’m sorry for taking so long, would you like to go somewhere?

You tremble slightly and respond. You were starting to get used to not hearing from him so this shocked you

You to Jaehyun: yes

You needed to apologize again, but more importantly, you needed to know how Jaehyun felt about you after everything. Does he still want to date you? Could you make this work?

Later that day you meet up at the park.

Jaehyun arrives with Dora and sits on a bench.

You immediately sit down as well and start to per her.

“Y/n..” Jaehyun says with his warm honey voice. You always grow weak when he calls your name.

You look up at him, taking in the brokenness in his eyes

“I’m so sorry, Jaehyun..I..I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. After everything I put you through, I honestly deserved that.”

“Jaehyun..I’m so tired..I don’t know what’s going on anymore, everyone on campus thinks I’m a slut and I feel so dumb and pathetic.” You start to tear up.

“No, they don’t. They’ve already forgotten about it, okay? And come fall semester, absolutely no one will remember you as that girl.”

You sniffle and nod. Thank God for summer break.

“I think..I just need time..it’s all too much.” You look up at him and Jaehyun isn’t sure if you need time away from everything or just time away from him.

He scoots closer to you on the bench and takes your hands in his. “Don’t worry about anything, I’m here for you, okay? We can start over. We can be completely honest with each other this time.”

You look to the sky as he continues.

“Please, y/n, please come back to me. I promise to make it all right.”  

If you say yes, I’ll stay, even if that means betraying my father, he thinks to himself.

You still sit quietly and think to yourself.

You loved Jaehyun, but you found yourself second guessing everything, could you truly be like how you once were. Then, there are your wandering eyes and emotions. If you loved him with all your heart, how could you possibly think of another man in that way?

And the question that screamed the loudest was why? Why did Jaehyun click the notification from Reina’s livestream in the first place?

You look back to Jaehyun who anxiously awaits your answer, his eyes glossy with tears.

“Jaehyun…I” you start to cry, you can’t hold back your emotions as you fear that  deep down, you already know the answers to all of these questions.

”Do you still love me?” He asks with tears flowing in a steady stream. Your heart breaks to see his lovely eyes so red.

Your mouth falls open.

Why are you hesitating?

“I- '' want to, is what you wanted to say, but just couldn't.

You can’t answer because you know you still don’t trust him. Furthermore, you aren’t sure if you love him or only lust after him.

But still, why is your heart cracking slowly while you both cry? You can almost hear it inside your chest.

Jaehyun nods and stands up before wiping his tears away. “I won’t bother you anymore, y/n..”

“Jaehyun..don’t.” You stand up and grab his hand before he can walk away.

He pulls away and takes Dora’s leash.

Make it easy, lie and rip the band aid off. 

He clears his throat. “I actually wanted to meet with you..because I’ve been thinking during our time away from each other…I don’t think I love you anymore…”

And there it was, the sound of your heart finally falling to the ground and breaking into a million pieces that were beyond repair.

You weren’t sure if you loved Jaehyun, but to hear him say he doesn’t love you is a pain unlike any other.

“…and I think it’s time to move on.” He turns away from you, knowing that the look on your face would only make him fall to the ground and sob.

But deep down, he knows he lies because it’s easier for him to decide for you. This was the only way you could move on. He had to make you hate him.

“You and I both know we only use each other for sex…this isn’t love, it never was, and it has no chance of ever being that..that’s why I cheated on you and felt no emotion.”

He turns back to you and speaks sternly. “If we were to date again, I’d probably cheat again in hopes of finding the true love I crave and don’t receive from you..”

His words stung like sharp daggers and you’re pretty sure even Caesar had an easier pain than what you feel right now.

For a few minutes, you are completely speechless and debate whether or not you should argue with him. But instead, you nod and walk away. “Okay Jaehyun, goodbye.”

You can't see your way through the park as water floods your eyeballs. You finally stop at a stream and clutch your chest.

The tears never stop, your head starts hurting and you feel yourself on the verge of a panic attack.

You call Bella who hears your gasps and panic over the phone. 

“Take deep breaths! I’ll be right there!”

She rushes from home to get to you while you go dizzy.

Jaehyun has trouble driving home, his teary eyes causing the road to blur. He pulls over and pounds his fist against the steering wheel.

“Fuck!” He yells before holding his face in his hands. He didn’t expect saying goodbye to be so difficult, he didn’t expect to regret it for the rest of his life.

He just broke the heart of his one true love.

———

[A Few Months Later]

“Come on, Dora, let’s get back inside.”

Jaehyun calls after Dora to go back into his mom’s house in Korea.

His mom sits at the table as she goes over the final preparations for his father’s funeral.

The real reason Jaehyun’s father sent for him was because he was ill and only given a few months to live by doctors. He did scold him for creating such scandalous videos, but didn’t spend too much time on it as he had more pressing matters at hand.

Jaehyun deleted all social media and focused on his father’s health as a result. To you, it seemed he had fallen off the face of the Earth.

He trained Jaehyun and taught him some of what he needed to know about the business during his final days alive. Jaehyun was thankful for the opportunity and finally found himself bonding with him after all this time.

“I can teach you all about finances and numbers, Yoon Oh, but I can’t teach you about being passionate about it. At the end of the day, you’ll only regret what you didn’t do for your heart..I guess, that’s why we didn’t see eye to eye before.”

He chuckles before coughing. “It took me getting to this point to realize..All my life, I had no true passion. Nothing worth missing.”

Jaehyun sits at his father’s bedside as he prepares to say goodbye.

He cries while listening to him speak.

“You were always so passionate about art and all this stuff I didn’t understand..I didn’t respect it because I didn’t get it..but what does it matter? It’s about you.. and if it makes your heart happy…if it makes your soul complete, then why should you let it go?”

His father passed away peacefully the next day, leaving Jaehyun with wise words he’d never forget.

A few weeks after the funeral, Jaehyun is tasked with deciding whether or not to stay and gradually take over the business or to go back to college and finish his studies.

Being away from you gave Jaehyun the chance to learn more and think with a clearer mind, hence his decision to go back.

He told his mother he’d be going back only to get his degree, but really, he found his fathers words hard to ignore.

“If it makes your heart happy, if it makes your soul complete..then why should you let it go?”

For Jaehyun, this was about you. He couldn’t fight the urge to love you, he couldn’t just let you go like that.

So he leaves Dora with his mom and heads back.

He knows it will take some time to make up for his shitty actions, but he’d do whatever it takes to love you again, even if that meant watching you from a distance. Just seeing your smile and laugh was enough for him.

He’d complete his studies, but he’d always have you on his mind. 

He keeps in touch with your mom without you knowing, that is, until Christmas dinner that year.

He knocks on her door and waits patiently for her to open it. It would be the first time you’d see each other since he broke up with you. It was going to be difficult, but he had to try. 

What he didn’t account for was the fact that your mind may have already been set on someone else..the strange, handsome fellow named Sicheng that sat across from him now at the dinner table.

The End

Thank you again for going on this journey with me, i hoped you enjoyed it xoxo - Krys

(Hint: check out the agreement to see what happens during the Christmas dinner hehe)

"i did something terrible"

tae telling the truth that he is cheating on oc😭😭😭

oh god I hate cheating aus 😭😭like I fr get mad writing them cuz whew let someone cheat on me. I dare them. anyway thanks for submittinggg this isn’t perfect but hopefully you liked it a little 🥹

don’t say ‘i love u’ | kth

You know those days that just get worse and worse? The kind where you wake up in the morning already in a bad mood? You’re tired, you’re irritated, and you just want the day to be over. That was today.

From the moment you woke up feeling more drained than you should be to now. You’re home now and it’s been eerily quiet tonight. Your boyfriend got home an hour what looking worse for wear and you already knew it was gonna be a no talking night.

You were in the middle of drying your hair in the bathroom when you heard Taehyung’s voice speak over the sound of the blow dryer. You turned it off stepping into doorframe and looking at your boyfriend, “What?”

His head was hanging low sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows against his knees. His gaze pulled from the floor to you, “I did something terrible.”

And just like that your heart stopped. There’s only so much that sentence could mean. You tried to play it cool not wanting to jump to conclusions. You set the blow dryer down on the sink before walking out leaning against the wall with yours crossed over your chest, “Like what?”

He didn’t say anything for a second. You couldn’t even read his expression at the moment. Usually, he’s an open book to you. He’s so easy to read and right now it’s the opposite. Like you could tell something was off but you couldn’t see what, or maybe you didn’t want to see.

“I slept with Jisoo.”

For a moment you swear there was a ringing in your ear like your brain to tune it out. Maybe it refused to pay attention to what your boyfriend of three years just said. But you did hear it and every word made your stomach sink. Your breath was held in your throat as you processed.

He slept with Jisoo. Your best friend Jisoo?

Taehyung waited for you to snap, his eyes never once left you. You didn’t even blink, you were forcing your body to stay calm. If you didn’t, then you would snap and you refused to cry in front of him right now.

“Did you hear me?” His voice cracked at the end as he tried to clear his throat, “I said I slept with Jisoo.”

Your jaw clenched. You were heartbroken right now. You trusted him and Jisoo. You’d known her for years, long before you and Taehyung got together and she did this to you. And you were mad.

How could you be such a fucking idiot? How could you let him do this to you? How could you let yourself be vulnerable and trust someone only for them to stab you in the back? They made you look stupid every time you all got together.

You trusted both of them. You never took their light banter or closeness as anything to fear for. They would never do anything to hurt you, that’s what you thought. But clearly you were stupid. So fucking unbelievably stupid.

“When?” It was the only thing you could get out. It’s like your mind still couldn’t process what he’d just said. You knew if you tried to say more the hurt would get the best of you. You’d surely break down crying and you refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing you’d loved him enough to hurt like this.

“Last weekend,” he said, his eyes were red almost teary but he wasn’t going to stop. He needed you to know it all. He was ready to change. “… and once about a month ago.”

You couldn’t hold in the scoff that escaped from your lips in disbelief. You couldn’t even look at him right now. You tried to think of when that could’ve possibly been. You hadn’t hung out with Jisoo recently so that meant they sought each other out. They planned it. They talked about it. It wasn’t a spur of the moment.

You wanted to disappear. If you could dissolve into the floorboards you would. If you found out another way you would erase yourself from their lives. You’d want Taehyung to wonder forever and ever why you left him like that. You’d let him act blind to it even if he knew the reason all along. You can’t believe you didn’t know.

You still refused to give way too how you actually felt. The moment you do it will all break loose. Your anger, your heartache, your betrayal. You weren’t going to let him know he got to you. At least you still have Jisoo. You could erase yourself from her life though you’re not sure if she’d actually die without you now. You used to say you’d die without each other, but you wouldn’t hurt someone you care about right?

“Say something,” Taehyung bit into his bottom lip nervously, “Please. Yell at me, tell me you hate me, I don’t care just say something.”

You pushed off the wall walking over to your vanity where your bag and keys sat. He stood up from the bed ready to stop you when you walked past him. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like that you weren’t talking to him. He fucked up. He knows he fucked up and he swears he’ll never do it again.

He caught on to what you were doing just before you got to the bedroom door. He slammed it shut pressing his back to it.

“Move,” you barely got it out. His arm went to grab you when you jumped back, “Don’t touch me.”

He shook his head, “No, Y/n, please. Just listen, let me explain, fuck it was a mistake.”

“Taehyung, please move so I can leave,” you tried saying calmly. His hand was over the doorknob and you tried with all your might to pull his hand away but he didn’t budge.

“It was a mistake, I swear,” a year slipped from his eyes, “I promise I will never do it again. Please don’t leave, just think about us for a moment. We’ve been together for three years.”

You didn’t say anything, face stone cold as you kept your hand on his arm still trying to move it off the doorknob. He went to pull you into him when you finally snapped.

You shoved his hands away, “Don’t touch me.” Your voice cracked as your eyes began to pool with tears, “Let me leave.”

“No,” he shook his head still leaning against the door, “I love you Y/n. Please just think about us.”

You ran your hand over your face in annoyance, “You love me? Really?”

“Yes, and it was a mistake. A big fucking mistake it didn’t mean anything I ju—“

“Give me a fucking break Taehyung,” you scoffed finally letting a few tears slip, “You don’t love me.”

“I do,” he dropped to his knees wrapping his arms around your legs, “Please don’t leave. I love you, okay? I love you and it didn’t mean anything. I only want you.”

“You don’t love me!” You yelled trying to get him off, “If you did you wouldn’t have slept with my best friend, twice!” He flinched a little at the reminder shaking his head, “Please. It didn’t mean anything.”

“You’re a liar and a cheater and I want nothing to do with you or Jisoo, so please, while I’m still asking nicely can you let me go?” You tried to calm down again.

He stood up wanting to reach you when you opened the door making your escape. Immediately his arms flung around you pulling you into his chest, “Just let me explain. It didn’t mean anything Y/n please don’t do this to me. I need you.”

“It didn’t mean anything?” You asked, his hold relaxing a little, “So why’d you do it twice?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. He let you pull away, “I—I. It just happened. But I swear I love you, I don’t care about h—“

“Stop saying you love me. If you did you would’ve never risked our relationship,” you said, “And stop acting like it didn’t mean anything. She’s my best friend Taehyung, not some fucking stranger from the bar. You knew what you were doing.”

You took his silence as a sign to keep going. He wanted you to talk so you were going to let him know how you felt. You could see the trails of tears from his eyes and it made you scoff in disbelief.

“Why are you crying?” You asked slightly annoyed, “Huh? Why are you crying Taehyung?”

“Because I love you—“

“No you don’t!” You yelled, “You don’t love me so stop crying. You don’t have the right to cry like you’re the one who’s hurt. I’m the one who was lied to. I’m the one who is looking so fucking stupid right now. I’m the one who wasted three years of my life on you.”

“Please don’t say that,” he said softly, “I made a mistake. I know I did but I’m willing to change. I want to change for you. Think about us.”

“You sound so stupid right now, you don’t have the right to say that to me,” you said bitterly, “You weren’t thinking about us when you fucked Jisoo, twice right? Yeah did you think about us then? You want to change for me? It’s been three years Taehyung. Three years that you threw away for what? Do you love her?”

He shook his head, “I love you.”

“Do you love her?” You asked again wanting to hear him say it.

“No. No! I don’t.” He huffed, “I don’t love Jisoo. I love you. I care about you—“

“You’re a fucking liar,” you scoffed moving to walk toward the front door. He picked you up, “Y/n please, baby don’t do this. I was going to propose. I want to get married. I want to be with you and only you. Please just don’t leave me. You know I can’t do this without you.”

“Stop!” You screamed pushing him off.

“Stop with all of this bullshit!” You said moving away from him, “You don’t care about me. You don’t love me. You wouldn’t have done that if you did. You think I want to be with you? You think I’ll be able to forget all this and still stay with you? You must think I’m really fucking stupid.”

He didn’t look at you. His gaze was locked on the floor feeling disgusted with himself. He hurt you. How could he do that? He let Jisoo get in his head, he let her play him along until he gave her what she wanted. What had happened should’ve been a one time thing but they just had to do it again. And it’s not that he didn’t feel guilty about it. He wanted to tell you the first time it happened but Jisoo told him not to. She said you’d never forgive him if he did.

So he kept it to himself. He swears he didn’t mean to do it a second time it just happened. They ran into each other at the store and Jisoo convinced him to go over to her place.

“Tae, look at me,” you were calmer now and that made him hopeful. Maybe you’d think it over and realize he really did love you. You’d go to couple’s therapy and cut Jisoo out of both your lives. Ten years from now you’ll be married probably with kids and you wouldn’t even think about it.

He looked up at you. Whatever tears you had were dry now and your voice was hoarse, “I’m going to walk out this door.”

He opened his mouth to speak before you continued, “And I don’t want you to stop me. I don’t want you to follow me, nothing. I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t even want to think about you. Do you get that?”

His mouth clamped shut fighting back tears but it was no use, he was crying as your words cut into him.

“Stop crying,” you told him again, “Once I’m out this door I’m done. I’m done with you and I’m done with Jisoo. You have no reason to cry. You did this. You ruined us so don’t act like it’s me. I’m serious Taehyung. I don’t ever want to see you again. I hate you.”

You looked him in the eyes feeling broken inside as you struggled to get the words out, “I. Hate. You.”

I hate you. His body went rigid. No. No you don’t. You don’t hate him. You love him, you love him even when he makes mistakes and you can’t just leave him like he’s nothing.

You got to the door swinging it open and slamming it shut. It took him a second to react, your words cutting through him like a knife. He ran to the door twisting the knob feeling it jam. You locked it before you left, probably to delay him. You knew he’d go after you.

He fumbled with the lock as he opened the door peering down the hall. You were quick but he ran not caring if the door was open. You’d have to come back. You lived together. Where would you even go?

“Y/n!” He called out running down the stairs. He reached the front doors too late. He watched through the glass as you stepped into a taxi. You turned to look at him one last time as he ran out. The car door slammed in his face and you were urging the driver to go.

He took his phone out ready to call you, it rang once before going straight to voicemail. He tried again but the same thing.

You can not do this to him. He can’t do this without you, don’t you get that? He fucked up, he knows he did. But you weren’t supposed to leave. You were supposed to understand that he’s not perfect. That he fucks up even if he doesn’t mean to and you’re supposed to be there to fix him. You’re supposed to love him no matter what the way he loves you.

“Pick up the phone Y/n,” he mumbled to himself as he called for the eighth time in the time it took him to go back to his apartment. His fingers worked rapidly to type.

taehyung | answer the phone

taehyung | it didn’t mean anything

taehyung | I love you

taehyung | I’m sorry

taehyung | pls y/n don’t do this

taehyung | where are you going

taehyung | we live together

taehyung | pls can’t you just answer the phone

It took three hours to get a response and it wasn’t from you. It was from Jisoo.

jisoo | you told y/n didn’t u?

He blocked her and tried to call again. He grabbed his keys. He was going to go to every single one of your friend’s houses until he found you.

You say you hate him but you don’t. You can’t.

You can’t do this to him.

::.

a/n I’m ngl I had this all planned out when I got it and then when I actually did it I couldn’t think of anything

hoped you liked it

and y/n ghosted him. y/n had someone else go pick up all the belongings from the apartment. changed phone numbers. blocked him off socials. all dat just cuz she knew it’d hurt him :p

idc if it’s baby daddy Jungkook himself but if I ever get cheated on just know I’m gonna dip and I’m gonna keep quiet about it lol

doing one or two prompts a day [hopefully]. only doing it this week tho

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 — 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

[#𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬] ⇉ [𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠] want to hear what people are talking about? [#𝐟𝐢𝐜: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬]

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓(𝐬) : ▶playlist #1 made by @saraannaisabel ▶playlist #2 made by me

𝐀𝐍 | six(1,2 and 3) are all written in jaemins pov. they're flashback scenes from the entire first five parts. you're welcome to skip those and go to seven which goes back to the readers pov. (although, jaemins pov has more behind the scenes content that i haven't written abt in other parts)

[ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: for three months, after a hard breakup with your ex, you refuse to let another man worm his way into your life even if it was for love or pleasure to avoid that ugly feeling of heartbreak… but then you bump into jaemin 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 20.9k

[ 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you and jaemin discuss your friends with benefits situation before things between you both start to escalate. also, your friends are crazy and they know about it. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 14.7k

[ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: your friends with benefits relationship with jaemin starts to get more serious when he asks to be exclusive, and just as things go a little too well, things start to get bad. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 15.9k

[ 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get jaemin to open up about his past and someone from his past ends up right in front of his doorstep 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 18.2k

[ 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: ever since eunbin came back into the picture, you start to truly realise where you stand and what you want from jaemin... but nothing ever really goes the way it's supposed to go 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 30.9k

[ 𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟏) ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 33k

𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟐) [unwritten] 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓:

𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟑) [unwritten] 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓:

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 [unwritten] 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓:

Barnes vs Barnes masterlist

Summary: The unavoidable happened. What will Bucky do now?

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Wife/Ex-Wife Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, cheating, sadness, heartbreak, mentions of infertility, wish for a baby, jealousy, more to be added

A/N: Please be aware this is an AU. Bucky is an ass and ooc in this story. 

Dropping early 2023

Barnes vs Barnes (1) - Fifteen

Barnes vs Barnes (2) - Nineteen

Barnes vs Barnes (3) - Thirty

Barnes vs Barnes (4) - Two

Barnes vs Barnes (5) - Thirtyfive

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when you were mine - myg & jhs (teaser)

(banner by @itaeewon ! ily <3)

┈➤ summary - He though that he would've been happier without you, but as time went on, he realized that you weren't the problem in the relationship. Is it too late to try again before you find comfort in someone else's arms?

┈➤ pairing - Min Yoongi x f!reader, Jung Hoseok x f!reader

┈➤ genre - ANGST, ex2l? f2l? maybe a slow burn? fluff, breakup!au, songwriter!sometime producer!fiancé!yoongi, artist!childhood best friend!hoseok.

┈➤ warnings - mentions of cheating, mentions of unhappiness, extremely slight mention of smut, possibly fading love…

┈➤word count - 946 (it’s a snippet..)

┈➤ note - Jusssttt testing the water before I swim…

✧ Series Masterlist ✧ Schedule ✧ My Masterlist ✧

Your once contagious laugh doesn’t make him want to smile at you anymore.

The comforting embrace he used to always desire to be in doesn’t feel the same.

Even your passionate kisses don't fill his heart with love and ignite butterflies in his stomach like they used to.

Every interaction he has with you now just feels numb, routined, emotionless, almost forced even.

It’s been like this for a few weeks, this numb, emotionless feeling he keeps having around you. When it first happened, Yoongi brushed it off, assuming that it was just because his body was probably just extremely tired after a really long day, and your warm, relaxing embrace just wasn’t helping him that day like it usually would any other time. But as the days continued, and as this weird, almost uncomfortable feeling somehow kept happening, Yoongi slowly began to think that his body was starting to resist you, or worse;

He was falling out of love with you.

Falling out of love with you? That’s crazy!

Yoongi thought that it would’ve been impossible for him to even consider not loving you anymore. He thought that he knew you were all he ever wanted; the love of his life.

But if you truly were the love of his life, why does he not feel head over heels in love with you anymore?

In the beginning, Yoongi felt extremely hurt and deeply confused over all of this.

Why couldn’t he love you anymore?

But eventually with the more time he spent around you, Yoongi, selfishly, slowly started embracing the, at first uncomfortable, but now casual, feeling of his fading love for you more and more.

His demeanor towards you gradually changed and your relationship started to honestly feel like you both were acquaintances or roommates instead of supposedly deeply in love romantic partners.

All of your once adorable habits that he used to admire with unconditional love, baby, and smother you in kisses for, started to slowly become annoying to him. Your warm, meaningful, and loving cuddles slowly became something he would try his hardest to avoid. And now your sweet, loving, honey traced voice isn’t the first thing he wants to hear when he wakes up in the morning anymore.

Yoongi honestly couldn’t even remember the last time he actually made love to you.

You just… weren’t enough for him anymore.

Yoongi truly wouldn’t even be surprised if you started to think that his weird, questionable behavior towards you and his constant unavailability was caused by him supposedly cheating on you and felt too guilty and/or selfish to tell you. And if he were to be honest, a small part of him wished he were cheating on you. At least then he would have a decent reason to not love you anymore.

But he doesn’t have one now.

So what exactly was he going to tell you?

That he eventually realized that you aren’t actually enough for him and that he doesn’t want you anymore?

Yoongi knew that would break your heart into almost a million pieces to hear, and he never, ever wanted to be the cause of your pain nor your tears, but now he realized that he doesn’t have any other choice but to do something he promised you he’d never do.

He’s spent dozens of restless nights, either cooped up in his home studio, or laid awake in bed next to your beautiful, peaceful sleeping form, contemplating different ways he could tell you that he truly felt like he didn’t love you anymore.

Would you argue with him?

Would you desperately fight for his love?

Would you think he found someone else; someone better?

Yoongi didn’t even think he could ever find anyone better than you; it had to be almost impossible, but would this breakup be easier for you to handle if he said he did find someone else?

He started wondering if you would take the break up better if he confessed to you that he was seeing someone other than you; someone a lot better than you. With this confession choice, he was kind of hoping that you would eventually find some type of peace knowing that the once love of your life is at least happier in someone else’s arms. That’s what most people think that matters in the end anyways; their lover’s happiness.

Imagining your broken, hurt, and betrayed expression if he told you he found someone else to love rather than you, put a slight ache in Yoongi’s heart and a terribly bitter taste in his mouth.

He hated to imagine the image of seeing you broken, especially if it was over him. He might not really love you like once used to anymore, but a part of him still seemed to care about your wellbeing. Well, at least it did.

Yoongi knew that keeping the flames going in this relationship was only going to slowly drag you both down with regret later.

For him; you, becoming a burden that stopped him from finding some sort of happiness elsewhere.

For you; eventually realizing you're in a one sided love relationship, but too in love with him to bear the thought of letting him go.

Yoongi loved you once before, but he just doesn’t love you now, and pretending that he still does is only going to break you down even more later. If he didn’t end this himself, he knew you wouldn’t, not even when you realize for yourself that he wasn’t in love with you anymore; just trying to play pretend.

So today has to be the end of all of this, and he won’t change his mind about it.

©️mini-euphoria, 2023. All rights reserved. Do not copy, repost, translate, edit and/or claim as your own any of my works by any and all means. I will take action if I find out anyone has. Thank you!

fuckkkk i love lmao

Hustlers Masterlist

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

summary: Broken friendships, tested loyalties are causing Bangtan’s internal problems to become worse than their external.

not so much a summary: im tired of weak, annoying y/n characters that are helpless and need jk to save them. that being said, reader is an explosive, temperamental, badass. jks girlfriend has the lovely title of being the annoying y/n.

warning: violence, I mean like some serious ass shit, killing left n right, graphic themes, dark themes, swearing

playlist: not mine but it gives off hustler vibes

Keep reading

for the record | l.ty

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x reader

Themes: strangers to lovers, rockstar! au, band! au, celebrity! au, journalist! reader, rockstar! taeyong, angst, fluff, slowburn, romance, very light comedy, PG-15; (moodboard)

Warnings: profanity, heavy ANGST, taeyong is a bit entitled at first, problematic paparazzi, kissing, food, alcohol consumption, drug use, a small mention of marijuana and use of it, smoking, lying, inaccurate depictions of the music and well as journalism industry, sexual innuendos, allusions to sex but nothing sexually explicit, suggestive

Word count: 51.4k

Summary: When you’re presented with the opportunity to accompany the world’s hottest rock band, Cherry Bomb, on their latest tour for an article, you know it could be your chance at furthering your career and possibly acquiring a spot at the New York Times, every journalists dream. You strive to figure out the truth about all the rumours that seemed to hover around them, but you don’t anticipate are the extent of the lies involved, nor do you account for the charming front man.

Playlist: here 

Notes from brooke: she’s finally here! and yes, on seeing that word count you can best believe that i am not just touching grass, but rolling around in it. this was supposed to be 25k but i sort of….got…..carried away….yEP!! it took four, almost five long months to write but i firmly can that it is one of the best things i have written and am very proud of it!! i worked harder on this fic than i have for any of my fics, so feedback would be greatly appreciated!! <3

You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping. It was, in no way, professional.

“What do you mean he’s dropping out?” Johnny’s voice was just loud enough to reach your ears from where you stood outside his office, saving you from the embarrassment of having to press your ear against the door. The editor had the habit of being pretty loud when he was distressed or pissed off, and that little fact was currently working to your advantage well. You stood there, holding your notes and listening carefully to the one side of the conversation you were unintentionally privy to.

Keep reading