Snippet From Chapter 5 Of My ADA!Chya, FeaturingRANPO!!!

Snippet from Chapter 5 of my ADA!Chūya, featuring…RANPO!!!

The collar has been the only thing on my mind today. I did try it on, and was shocked to discover that it fit perfectly, just how I like it - a little tight to remind myself of its presence but not enough to restrict movement or breathing. I currently have it shoved into the box of other items of that nature and I hope I never have to think about it again. If he’s sent a collar, I’m worried about what else he could send.

Thankfully, Kunikida doesn’t bother me about how distracted I am today. Perhaps Fukuzawa talked to him and said I’m working through things or something. I don’t know. I’m just thankful. I don’t want to deal with Kunikida bothering the living shit out of me today.

I suppose it also helps that I’m accompanying Atsushi and Ranpo today. Usually, Ranpo only needs just one other detective with him, but it’s Atsushi’s first time with him. So I’m mainly here to help him learn how to navigate and deal with Ranpo’s moods and quirks.

As usual, Ranpo gets all turned around and stuck all over the train station. I have to drag both him and Atsushi to our correct train because they keep getting lost. I can tell Atsushi is shocked that Ranpo actually doesn’t know the first thing about the train station, but it’s really not a big deal once you get to know the man.

After a small nudge in the right direction and a quick run down of the landmarks, Ranpo heads off in the direction towards the murder scene. Atsushi blinks and looks at me, but I shrug and follow Ranpo, letting Atsushi follow behind me.

“You know you’re late, agents,” the police detective says with his arms crossed as he glares at the three of us. Atsushi ducks behind me and Ranpo for whatever reason, but Ranpo either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “Now hold on, who are you?” Ranpo says with his hands on his hips as he faces the general direction of the officer. I can hear the hesitancy in his voice, and I know that the sudden change in officers has left him shaken. This one doesn’t know him and most likely won’t take him seriously. “Where’s Yasui-san?”

“I’m Minoura,” the detective says as he pulls out his badge from his coat’s inner pocket. “I took over from Yasui-san. This case has been reassigned to our division. So we no longer need you or your agency.”

Here we go, I think with an eye roll as Ranpo starts going off. “That’s ridiculous! Every difficult case should be overseen by a master detective, like me!”

“We don’t need private investigators on this,” Minoura said blankly. “Because the victim was a cop who worked for me.” Ranpo just faces Minoura with a slightly angry expression as Atsushi stays behind him, looking between him and me, as if asking if he’s supposed to do something in this situation. I shake my head a little, patting his shoulder.

“Prove it,” Ranpo says sternly and Minoura sighs before turning around and heading towards the covered body. He kneels down and removes the cover for the three of us to get a good look.

The front of the victim’s shirt is stained dark red, the stains in a pattern that shows three separate shots fired off. I glance over at Ranpo, who’s looking at the victim with an impassive face before sighing. “The victim’s a lady,” he says and Atsushi stiffens beside me. I place a hand on his arm, trying to signal him to calm down. There’s a reason for the statement.

“Yes, sir,” one of the on-duty officers says as he looks at Ranpo. “Her body was found floating in the river this morning.”

“She was shot three times in the chest,” Minoura says, kneeling beside the victim. “We don’t know where or when she was killed. We haven’t found the bullets either.”

“Any suspects?” Ranpo asks, fiddling with his hat. “Not yet. As far as anyone at the office knew, she wasn’t in a relationship, so we doubt it was a jealous lover.”

“Very interesting. So that means you don’t have any leads.” Ranpo sounds so smug as he puts his hat back on and Minoura narrows his eyes as he side eyes the short detective, starting to look more pissed off by the minute. He turns away and stands as he starts to speak. “That’s all the more reason why we can’t let an amateur private eye handle this.”

“Amateur?” I ask as I raise my eyebrow at Minoura. “Who said anything about us being amateurs?”

“Um, I-” Atsushi starts but I shush him and keep my attention on Minoura. He narrows his eyes at me, his expression just as cold. “It doesn’t matter if you’ve been doing this job for years. You aren’t properly trained on cases like these and I don’t need you messing anything up.”

“Properly trained?” I ask, my voice raising a little bit, even as I fight to control it. “Just because we didn’t go to police academies doesn’t mean that we can’t do it just as well, if not better than you and anyone else here! If you had just let Ranpo do his job, this case would be solved already!”

“There’s no way he would have solved it this quickly,” Minoura snaps back at me, stepping forward and getting in my face. Or…his chest in my face. I have to look up to actually make eye contact with him. “The only person who would be able to do that is the killer, so unless you mean to say that your friend here is the killer, I suggest you stop putting your foot where your mouth is!”

“I’m putting my foot where my mouth is?! You’re the one who’s assuming we’re amateurs! Ranpo’s been doing this job for over a decade at this point, so go and take your accusations somewhere else!”

“Wait, really?” Atsushi asks Ranpo beside me and he nods, making a quiet sound of agreement. “Yeah, twelve years now. Impressive, I know.”

“...How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-six.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, I don’t look it, I know.”

“You don’t act like it either,” Atsushi mutters under his breath and I reach back and lightly smack his arm to get him to shut up. He frowns at me but gets the message anyway.

“We don’t need private eyes on this,” Minoura repeats as he takes a step back from me. “Everyone on my team is better than any private detective out there. Including you bums.”

“Oh!” Ranpo gets that smile that means he has an idea brewing and quickly turns around, pointing at the officer that had spoken up earlier about the victim herself. “Tell me officer, what’s your name?”

“Wh-What?!” he exclaims, clearly unsure of what exactly is happening. “I am Sergeant Sugimoto, sir! The victim, Miss Yamagiwa, was my superior officer on the force!”

“Alright, Sugimoto-san,” Ranpo says as he walks towards Sugimoto, placing his hand on the officer’s shoulder. “Here’s your chance. Solve this case in sixty seconds. Ready, set, go.” He says this all in a rush, with barely a breath between sentences. But not a crazed rush. Smooth, calculated. Ranpo scares me sometimes.

Sugimoto panics and takes a step back, but Ranpo leans forward, keeping the distance the same between them. “I can solve this thing in under a minute,” he whispers to Sugimoto before turning his head a little. “If you’re as good as he says you are, you should be able to do that too.”

It takes me a second to realize he’s turned to face Minoura as he says that. Minoura notices as well and just stares at Ranpo, his arms crossed for a moment. He doesn’t say anything, so Ranpo keeps going. “Okay, it’s showtime!” He turns back to Sugimoto. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Now Sugimoto is full-blown panicking, stammering and making absolutely no sense as he tries speaking. I can barely hear him say something about sixty seconds being impossible.

“Tick tock, fifty seconds left,” Ranpo says with a smug little smile as he holds a pocket watch. I don’t even question where he got it from anymore. The pockets of the autism creature are a magnificent thing. Sugimoto freaks out some more, and Ranpo is clearly taking too much joy in the entire situation. “I hope that’s not what I look like when I’m under too much pressure,” Atsushi mutters to himself and I snort, remembering how he panicked when we told him about the tiger.

“Hold on,” Sugimoto says after a bit, seeming to have calmed down enough to think and talk, “I know Yamagiawa-sama was pursuing a political corruption case and also running an investigation on the Port Mafia. The murderer’s MO is similar to the Mafia’s when they want retribution. Maybe the Mafia did it! Because they knew she was getting too close-”

“No,” I say quietly as I stare at the ground and everyone turns to me. “The Port Mafia’s retaliation methods are quite specific. They have a signature that’s as unique to them as a fingerprint.

“First, the traitor is forced to the ground and made to bite the curb. Then, they stomp on his head to shatter his jaw. Finally, they flip him over and shoot him in the chest. Three times.” I can still hear the gunshots from each of those many killings I myself had to carry out. They’re overlapping until they are essentially just one set of shots with countless victims. I know this is the fate that awaits me if anyone in the Mafia catches me in an “official” capacity. I’m lucky I managed to come face-to-face with Dazai and not have my head smashed in when I did.

“I guess if we’re being precise, then technically yes, but still,” Sugimoto says as he stares at me with a slightly confused look on his face. I continue before he can say much more. “So this MO was similar to the Mafia’s but not exactly the same. That means-”

“The killer was attempting a cover-up?” Minoura cuts in, and I let him have it. No use getting into an argument over something like that. I glance back at Sugimoto, and his confusion has changed into something else. “Shooting two extra rounds to make it look like a Mafia hit…How cruel…”

Ranpo suddenly makes a sound imitating a buzzer right behind Sugimoto, scaring the living daylights out of him. “Nice try, Sergeant,” he says as he pats Sugimoto’s shoulder. “But you’ve got a ways to go before your ‘case solving skills’ match mine~! But don’t feel bad, you’ve been useful! You’ve helped us prove that Minoura-san’s best detectives are inferior to me!”

“Cut the crap,” Minoura says as he glares at Ranpo, who is still smirking. “I’m tired of all your jabber. You can’t crack hard cases with just deduction. You’ve been reading too many crime novels. Cases like this are solved through investigation. Interviewing persons of interest, and closely analyzing the crime scene.”

“Huuuh?” Ranpo asks as he turns to Minoura, taking a few steps towards him. “You’ve got a pretty thick skull. Great detectives don’t do investigations. My ability, Ultra-Deduction, can instantly identify the killer. I can also figure out when and how the murder was committed. But wait, there’s more! I can see in my mind’s eye how to make the killer confess and where the evidence lies to prove our case! My power truly is a rare gift.” He turns to Minoura, and I can see that he’s opened his eyes by now. His gaze is locked on Minoura, who seems a little startled by Ranpo’s eyes. I understand that feeling. You get so used to his eyes being closed that when he does finally open them around you, it throws you off and it looks like he’s staring into your soul.

“Given my line of work, I know all about you gifted types and your powers. But if you have such a special ability, then why do my colleagues and I still have a job?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Ranpo says with that smug smile of his and I can tell he’s closed his eyes again. “Now we’re starting to understand each other, detective~” Minoura growls under his breath as he glares at Ranpo, and I’m ready to rush in and defend him. Again. He really needs to stop getting into trouble with the police force. One of these days, he’s going to end up arrested and not even the President will be able to help him.

“You little bastard-” Shit. I quickly move to step in front of Ranpo, the poor innocent autistic not seeming to understand the gravity of the situation he just put himself in. “Now, now, detective,” I say as I hold my hands up to try and help Minoura calm down. “Please pardon the autistic creature’s behavior.”

“The heck does that mean?” Ranpo asks as he tugs at my vest. I wave him off, smirking a little to myself. “Don’t worry about it, Ranpo. Just focus on solving the case.”

Minoura sighs and shrugs. “You can’t stop bragging about your ability,” he says, “so let’s have a look at it.”

“Really?” Ranpo asks, getting excited as he turns to Minoura again. “So I guess I’m on the case. You should have just asked me nicely when I first got here.”

“Too bad you’ve got a lot more confidence than experience,” Minoura responds, smirking at Ranpo. “You realize there’s no hard evidence. Would you like me to count to sixty for ya?” He sounds so smug, so sure of himself, and it’s very refreshing to see Ranpo getting cocky back.

“I won’t need that long.”

Here’s a snippet from Chapter 2 of For The Tainted Human!!

“Now where’s the president?” Jun’ichirō asks as he lowers his hand from his face. He really is doing his part well - he looks conflicted and angry to a T. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that he has his ability activated. It’s so out of character for him, I almost think he is an actual mad bomber. The weird silence that fell over the office is broken when he yells “BRING ME THE PRESIDENT!” He grabs Naomi and lifts her up from the back of her shirt. “If you don’t, I’ll blow everyone in this place to kingdom come!” He drops Naomi onto the ground, a little harsher than normal and I start talking to Kunikida, keeping my voice low. “Sounds like he’s got a personal grudge. That’s mighty inconvenient.”

“Agreed,” Kunikida said in the same quiet voice. Atsushi is sitting between the two of us, watching the scene with Jun’ichirō with fearful eyes. “Why’d you bring me here again?” he asks quietly, his voice a little shaky.

Kunikida continues as if he hadn’t heard the boy. “Based on what he’s saying, the bomber seems furious at the agency.”

“Honestly, I don’t think I can help you. May I go now?”

I start talking, speaking to Atsushi without addressing his question. “Because of the work we do, we attract a lot of unwanted attention.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

I nod at the bomb sitting beside Jun’ichirō on the desk. “That is a military grade high level explosive. If the bomber acts on his threat and detonates it, it’ll kill us and destroy the whole floor.”

“Oh, no…”

“But if we can find something to cover the bomb, we may be able to reduce the force of the blast. But given the circumstances…since he took her hostage, he’s not only mad, he’s insane.”

“Do you know who she is?”

“Naomi. She’s a part-time office assistant here.”

“She’s not even an agent?!” Atsushi keeps his voice down as he stares at me for a moment before turning back to stare at Naomi through the plants. “She’s just an innocent victim in this terrible mess.”

“So what do we do?” Kunikida asks me behind Atsushi. I slide a little closer to him so I can answer. “He wants to see the president, right? Why not just bring him here?”

“Are you insane?” Kunikida asks, and I can tell it’s taking a lot for him to stay quiet. He really is a great actor, despite how rigid he seems. I know I’m just as good, if not better. These kind of missions were my bread and butter. I shake my head quickly to dispel the memories. It’s not good if I get lost down memory lane right now. “He’ll try to kill the president! We can’t let the boss walk into a bad situation like this!” Kunikida sits back and adjusts his glasses, lowering his voice again. “Plus he’s off on a business trip.” We both know he’s not, he’s sitting in his office, watching the cameras to see how Atsushi does. This is one of the few tests that has taken place inside the agency, which probably makes it far easier for him to see what’s going on.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that,” I say with a short eye roll. “It seems there’s only one option…” I meet Kunikida’s eyes and he gives me a short nod as we both hold up a hand. Atsushi watches us, expectantly, and I can tell he thinks we’re gonna use our abilities.

Instead we throw out three games of rock-paper-scissors. We tie the first two, and Kunikida loses the third, as was originally planned. I laugh quietly as he makes a small show of getting mad at me, and I can see Atsushi staring at us, his face completely blank. He really has no idea what to make of us.

ew theyre so embarrassing… (im in love w them)

Snippet from Chapter 3 of my ADA!Chūya AU!!

“I was wondering,” Atsushi said quietly, “what were the two of you doing before you joined the agency?” Both of us pause and look over at the white-haired teen, taking in his curious eyes. His face pales a little when he realizes we’re both staring at him. “N-No big deal, I was just curious, is all-”

“Three guesses,” I say with a shrug as I step away from Kunikida before sitting back down, this time actively facing him. He blinks, tilting his head a little. “It’s a game we play,” I explain as I motion to the group that’s sitting in the cafe, “at the agency. It’s kind of an initiation thing. Newcomers try to guess their coworkers’ former occupations. It’s kind of a fun game, actually.”

Atsushi hums as he turns to the Tanizaki siblings. “I want to say that Naomi-san and Jun’ichirō-san were students.”

“Woah,” Jun’ichirō says, clearly impressed. “You got it. Nice one.” Naomi sits up from her brother as she looks at Atsushi. “How did you figure that one out?”

“I was told you work at the agency part-time,” Atsushi explains. “And you’re wearing a uniform, so there was a good chance you were still in school. Plus Jun’ichirō-san and I seem to be similar in age. It just made sense.”

“Not bad, kid,” I say from the bar, leaning my cheek on my hand as I watch him with a faint smile. “Now, what about Kunikida?” I point over at my blonde partner, and he ends up spitting his coffee out at me. Thankfully, I’m able to control liquids to some degree and just send it back into his mug. “NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT I USED TO BE, ALRIGHT?!”

Atsushi is already narrowing his eyes at Kunikida, clearly trying to think things through. “An official…?” he mutters. He opens his eyes, struck with an idea of some sort. “Did he hold a government job?”

“Almost,” I say slyly. “He was a public school teacher. And he taught math.” I glance over at him, and he’s half pouting in his seat, his mug sitting next to him on the bar. He’s refusing to even look at me, his eyes closed. “I can totally picture that,” Atsushi mumbles to himself.

“It was another life,” Kunikida says sternly, clearly still mad at me for bringing it up. “I don’t even want to think about it.” He takes a long sip from his mug and then puts it down. “And don’t even try doing Nakahara. His former profession is a mystery to everyone.”

“Aw, Kunikida~” I pout at him, giving him playful puppy eyes. “You took my fun away!”

“No one has guessed it yet, so leave it be.”

“The first person who finally figures it out collects a reward, isn’t that right?” Jun’ichirō says from the booth and I can practically see the gears in Atsushi’s head start to turn. “A rEwArD?!”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” I say with a shrug, seeming disinterested in the events happening. “And because no one’s guessed right, it’s just skyrocketed.”

“So…just out of curiosity…just how much is this reward right now?”

“Seven hundred thousand yen.”

“Seven…hundred… grand?!” I swear Atsushi is about to explode with the way he stares at me. “So if I guess correctly, it’s mine?! This isn’t some kind of prank?!”

“Trust me, I’m always a man of my word.” Liar.

“I gotta say,” Jun’ichirō says, sounding a little upset. “He looks really fired up.” Naomi seems just as upset. “There’s no way he’ll ever guess it.”

“That reward will be mine. Stockbroker!”

“No.”

“Writer!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Office worker!”

“Incorrect!”

“Researcher!”

“Wrong!”

“Lawyer?”

“No!”

“Journalist!”

“Eeeeeh-!”

“Carpenter!”

“Try again!”

“Fourtune Teller!”

“Nah.”

“Pilot?”

“Wrong again!”

“Japanese chef!”

“No!”

“Doctor?”

“No way!”

“Priest!”

“Blasphemous!”

“Model!”

“No, but thank you~”

“I bet you were just wandering around doing nothing at all,” Kunikida cuts in with an exasperated sigh. “Not true,” I say quietly, staring down at the ground in front of me. He puts his mug down and turns to face me, eyes wide a little. “I would never lie about something like this.”