agustdsciggy - Unhinged
Unhinged

Mallory | ‘90 liner |♉️| Supporting the cause

320 posts

Oh Ok. Ok. Were Doing This Now Huh? These People Are Nast With A Capital Y!

oh ok. ok. we’re doing this now huh? These people are Nast with a capital Y!

Oh Ok. Ok. Were Doing This Now Huh? These People Are Nast With A Capital Y!

Also, the outfits. That mesh corset with the dragons and black slacks. 🤌💋 I want to recreate this outfit but where would i strut it out at, target? whole foods? I’ll think of something.

I (j) hope Jimin is okay. I audibly gasped. The way you wrote the chaos of that shoot out scene really got my adrenaline pumping. Her being left with 2Seok at the end though? It gave me a terrible feeling. Ok, ok, tensions were running high, yoongi was injured but she saved hoseok’s life, tried to defend Jimin. Would she go off the deep end if they told her she sliced yoongi’s face open right then and there? Most likely, but being left in the dark after that with none of her comfort people around is just fucking me up right now! MAYBE this is just a reminder of where loyalties lie. idk, you always keep me guessing, I tell you this all the time. Consider me extremely unsettled and holding on for dear life.

“I remember my first blind rage.” 😂 Quote of the chapter for me!

Collateral 19: The only lifestyle I have ever known

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

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🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon, Jungkook x Female Reader, Jungkook x Taehyung

🗡️ word count: 18.5

🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ warnings: tickling, semi-public quickie, handsy creep makes mc spiral, playful possessiveness, feelings as messy as mc's panties are after letting 3 men cum inside her, threats from a fresh face, graphic violence and gore (gun fire, mc wields a gun and a knife, man's head go boom-splat, major character injury, panic attack & blind rage, mc's body count increases from 1 to 2, yoongi gets his scar.)

🗡️ note: these warnings are serious!!! heed them!!! take them seriously!!! on a lighter note, pretend everyone's hair is correct in the mood board ok lolol also yes that is Bibi, who is called Hyungseo in this chapter.

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin! and shout out to @colormepurplex2 for putting some blood on our kitten's face for this mood board!! i appreciate you both!!! 💜

🗡️ posted on august 2023 | read on ao3

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known
Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

Waking up between Yoongi and Namjoon again is akin to waking from a dream only to find yourself in an even better dream. You roll onto your side toward Yoongi, who sleeps on his back, and you nuzzle into him, wrapping every limb around his body as tightly as you can. Yoongi grumbles and tenses before he relaxes, and then he turns onto his side and tangles his limbs in response, reaching a leg and arm past you to the sweating body on the other side. 

You used to hate it when partners would try to hold you in the morning, ripping you from blissful unconsciousness into the waking world with their stinky breath and sweaty skin. With a grumble and a shove, you would always break free and twist to your side, wrapped in your blanket alone.

But Yoongi and Namjoon are your home. Their heavy bodies and warm morning breath ease you into the day, wrapping you in a loving embrace that you hate to have to break free of. 

And just when you close your eyes and sigh into the feeling of Namjoon curling against your back, outlining the shape of your body perfectly with his, a phone ringtone blares, causing the three of you to groan and sign in tandem. 

"Fuck," Yoongi mutters, leaning to kiss you on the forehead before slowly dragging his limbs away from the tangle, muttering lowly as his shrill ringtone disturbs the peace. 

"Who the fuck is already calling you?" Namjoon complains against your shoulder, wrapping around you tighter as Yoongi's warmth disappears.

Yoongi's response is incomprehensible raspy nonsense, and then the sound ends just as he mutters, "Yes?"

After a pause, Yoongi grumbles, "Seokjin-ssi, I am offended that you thought I would forget. Of course, we will be there tomorrow evening. Alright, talk to you later."

The sound of the phone clattering against Yoongi's nightstand follows a sigh, and Yoongi rolls back into his rightful place, wedging your face against nude pecs while he reaches over you to give Namjoon's lifted face a kiss. 

The two of them groan, squeezing you between firm, increasingly hot bodies, and you begin to shove at Yoongi's shoulders, fighting for your life, grumbling, "You're suffocating me, you idiots!"

"You're just jealous Joonie got the first good morning kiss," Yoongi teases, backing up before bending down to plant his lips against yours. 

"No morning breath kisses!" you attempt to complain through lips pulled tightly together, shoving Yoongi away despite loving the soft press of his mouth against you. 

"Was Seokjin reminding you of the gala?" Namjoon asks just as Yoongi decides to begin tickling you, which has you screaming and pushing him away with flailing limbs. 

"He was," Yoongi grits as you manage to plant both hands firmly on his chest and shove hard enough to topple him momentarily back. He pounces once more, flinging his entire body over yours, and Namjoon manages to get your left hand held down, then reaches over you to pin down your right arm, filling your senses with his delightfully stinky musk. 

"You monsters!" you scream with your arms awkwardly pinned beside your head, uselessly flailing your legs while Yoongi sits and dances his fingertips over your ribs. "I'll kill you both!"

"Awe, our little wolf is threatening us with murder," Namjoon teases, "as if she has it in her to kill another man."

"Especially two as handsome as us," Yoongi adds, lightning up on tickling enough to make you open your eyes and watch him waggle his eyebrows. 

As soon as Yoongi's fingers touch down on your ribs once more, your eyes squeeze shut, and you squeal, "Your looks won't save you from my wrath if you don't release me!"

"Awe your wrath," Namjoon teases, and his hot, stinky breath wafts as he leans close. "How adorable."

"I watched you torture a man, I know how to do it, now," you grit through your teeth, swaying your body left to right hard, hoping to throw Yoongi off. "Maybe Taehyung will teach me how to use his katana."

"Graduating from dagger to katana," Yoongi drawls playfully. "How quaint."

Namjoon adds, "But our sweetheart has never seen me with a sword before," piquing your interest despite how you fight for your life. 

Each breath heaves from your lungs, pained laughter coming out in exhausted bursts against your will; if you could control your laughter to not give these jerks the satisfaction, you would. Nothing about the hellish feeling of being tickled is actually funny. 

In a burst of genius, you scream, "Sakura!"

Yoongi sighs and halts his fingers, and when you open your eyes, he tongues the inside of his mouth. 

"That was a dirty move but also a wise one," Yoongi mutters, clearly as amused as he is annoyed. "Nice work, darling."

"So, did you forget about Seokjin's event?" Namjoon asks as Yoongi leans forward, caging your head with his hands and smiling sweetly at you. You attempt to catch your breath, still panting from the onslaught. 

"I did," Yoongi responds, grinning. 

You roll your eyes and begin to laugh, and Namjoon releases your hands finally and wiggles back into a laying position beside you, laughing as well. "I want to sleep more," he grumbles as he throws a leg over your legs and snuggles up to your side, close enough to your armpit to make you jerk when he speaks because every tiny sensation still tickles. 

"More sleep sounds nice," Yoongi mutters, leaning close, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then to your eyebrow, and to your temple, before laying back down. 

You begin to grumble that you would also love to sleep but that Yoongi has woken you up with all of his rambunctious behavior. But as limbs settle over and around you, and you become sandwiched once more between the two of them, heaviness claims your eyelids, and you begin to drift off. 

When you wake up again, it is from Namjoon peeling out of the tangle. You grumble and roll toward him, attempting to reach out and bring his warmth back to you. Yoongi wraps around your back, humming something unintelligible into the nape of your neck before his breathing evens out and he is back asleep. You close your eyes and allow yourself to drift once more, stirred only by the feeling of Yoongi peeling away. 

The sun is bright by the time you wake up for good, flooding into the room, causing you to squint as you stretch and yawn, slowly flailing your limbs in the large, empty bed. 

"Where is everyone going?" you grumble, peeking one eye open to find a tuft of dark, wavy hair sticking out from the closet. Yoongi's smile is almost as bright as the afternoon sun, tugging at your heart. 

He responds, "Work, darling," with a smirk, then disappears back into the closet.

"Ugh!" you complain, petulant. If Yoongi and Namjoon go to work, who will be around to hug and kiss and spoil you? "Work is stupid!"

"You should go to Paradise!" Yoongi calls from the closet. 

You should go to Paradise. It has been several nights since you last visited, and you miss Jimin and Hyejin. And, if you are being perfectly honest, you miss Jeongguk. Jeongguk will certainly give you plenty of attention to make up for what you are missing from the other two, but you worry just a little that desiring and receiving it from him may make you greedy. 

"You just want to shove me off onto Jeongguk," you whine, teasingly. 

Yoongi chuckles as he exits the closet, buttoning a black shirt that is tucked into black slacks. "Are you upset about that?"

With a pout, you sit up and whine, "I guess not," making Yoongi laugh so hard that he stomps one of his feet. Since coming home, there is a lightness to Yoongi that you are certain you have never seen before. He laughs so openly and with his whole body, sometimes flinging himself all the way to the floor, onto his knees. It is so nice; he truly seems happy. 

"Namjoon and I have a meeting today that may take several hours," Yoongi begins as he approaches, still smiling but no longer laughing. "Then I have to take one of our potential clients to dinner and for drinks. She is an old investor and was a good friend of my mother, and she has her sights on one of my hotels. After we schmooze and convince her to open her pocketbook, we will come by the club. Sound good?"

You hum and nod, considering what you might wear to Paradise while scooting toward the edge of the bed, wearing only one of Namjoon's oversized shirts. 

"What if Jeongguk seduces me?" you ask with a raise of your brow, biting back a smile when Yoongi gives you an incredulous little smirk of his own. 

He gets close, resting his hands on the edge of the bed, caging you in. Yoongi is musky and sweet, and you lean in close, holding firm eye contact and basking in his bouquet. 

"Do you want to fuck Jeongguk again?" he asks low and curious.

Goosebumps cover you, sending a thrill along your spine, and you bite your lip, batting your lashes while pretending to consider his proposition. 

"I don't know," you say, attempting to sound coy. "Maybe."

Yoongi hums, deep and slow, leaning close enough that his breath is warm on your face. "Well, then if he seduces you, you should let him have you." 

"You don't mind?" you ask softly, genuinely concerned about crossing some sort of line, should something happen while he is away. 

"As long as you are happy and communicate openly, I do not mind."

Unsure what to say, you hum in response. You want to kiss Yoongi until you are dizzy, but you worry about your breath being sour and keep your lips closed tight. Yoongi leans and kisses you on your temple, eyebrow, and cheek, then straightens out. 

"If you wanted to shoot me a text and let me know, I would not object," he says with a waggle of his brow, making you giggle. 

You lift a hand and gently shove at his shoulder, teasing, "You just want to picture me getting fucked, you pervert."

"Of course I do," Yoongi rasps, pressing one more kiss to your forehead before standing up straight. With a wink, he adds, "Don't be shy, pretty darling." 

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

The moment you step foot into Paradise, Jimin prances over with a warm smile and his arms open wide. He wears a satin black shirt tucked into black slacks, and his boots click-clack in a familiar song.  

As soon as he wraps his arms around your neck, he begins to jump, and you do your best to jump along with him, feeling stunned that he is this happy to see you. "I have a surprise," he sing-songs, drawing the word long and happily, and you do your best to reciprocate his hug before he pulls away. 

"You can't see it until your birthday, but I have been working hard on something," he continues, still hopping around now that you are no longer embracing. 

Although your approaching birthday has been in the back of your mind, this is the first time it has felt like a tangible event. You blurt out, "How did you know my birthday is coming up," feeling anxiety and excitement swell behind your ribs. 

"Oh, please," Jimin mutters, rolling his eyes. "Yoongi has not shut up about it for over a month. He has been very insistent that we throw you an extravagant party; why do you think renovations on this place happened so fucking fast?"

Stunned and so dreadfully in love, all you can do is stare at Jimin as the words sink. You cannot believe that Yoongi has been in cahoots with the guys for over a month, and he has not let it slip at all to you. This means that even before the trips to Paris and Hong Kong, he must have been beginning to plan something.  

"Renovations—" you mutter, mouth opening and closing until all you can mutter is, "Wait, what?"

"You silly little dove," Jimin teases, booping you on the nose with one of his manicured fingers. "You really have no idea what you have done to this man, do you?"

You knit your brow and slowly shake your head, and Jimin's smile widens. 

"Being with you has changed him. It's noticeable."

Stuck like a deer in headlights, you stand and stare at Jimin, attempting to process his words. Sure, Yoongi was a little gruff and not always the most friendly person to be around when you were first brought to the mansion—even in moments when he was being kind—but you had assumed he behaves that way any time new people are brought around. 

Jimin chuckles, leans in, and plants a glossy kiss on your cheek. Then he walks away, clearly amused, and you continue to stare for another moment until a familiar floral musk breaks your spell, alerting you to the presence of a certain someone. 

Truth be told, you have been a bit nervous in anticipation of seeing Jeongguk again. Especially since Yoongi has given you the green light to play around with him—provided Taehyung has done the same. Rather than turn around and greet him, you take a fortifying breath and wait for him to make the first move; it never takes long for him to. 

"Dollface," his voice greets slow and deep and so close to your ear that you actually gasp despite already being aware of his proximity. "My, do you look ravishing this evening."

Warmth floods your cheeks; you dressed in a black mesh corset top tucked into fitted black slacks tonight specifically in the hope that Jeongguk would get an eyeful and want to bend you over Jimin's desk. The black material that covers your breasts is thin, and embroidered into the ribbed black mesh of the top are little black dragons that remind you of Namjoon's tattoo. It leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Tilting your head toward his voice, you mutter, "Thank you," surprising yourself by just how shy you suddenly feel.

"There's something I need to discuss with you," Jeongguk says. The feeling of two warm hands gently gripping your bare forearms causes you to let out a shaky exhale. "Come to one of the private rooms with me?"

The private dance rooms are all equipped with cameras, making your anxiety spike higher, but you nod and allow him to give you a gentle push through the club, to the hallway. The sound of his and your black leather boots clacking against the floor is surprisingly loud under the bass-heavy club beat, ricocheting through your mind while the music thrums just under your skin. 

Once the two of you enter the hallway, you turn your head, finally getting a glance of black satin almost entirely unbuttoned, tucked into black slacks. You attempt to sound innocent as you ask, "What is it you would like to discuss?" 

The chuckle that greets you in response is sardonic and inviting, and you continue to look ahead until Jeongguk places a hand on your arm and guides you through a door on the left. 

The room is rather small, with a round mirrored table and metal dancing poll taking up most of the space. Surrounding the table is a deep green velvet horseshoe couch with thick, rounded arms and backrest. You walk over to stand near the side of the couch and lean against it while the door closes and locks behind you. Instinctively, you glance up at the camera and stare, wondering if it is a coincidence that there is no little red light flashing; it must not be recording, after all. 

"Don't worry, doll," Jeongguk says with a grin as he approaches, "I shut that camera off."

"Is that so?" you ask with a slight tremble in your voice.

Jeongguk is stunning with his dark hair coiffed off his forehead. He has a light dusting of black powder around his eyes accentuating just how dangerous they are, and as your gaze travels down to the mess of silver chains draped around his neck, and lower, to the exposed valley of his chest, you do your best not to swoon. 

"Yoongi sent me a very interesting text this evening," Jeongguk responds with a lift of his pierced eyebrow. 

You attempt to sound as if you have no idea what he might be talking about as you ask, "He did?"

Jeongguk hums and closes in slowly, causing your pulse to quicken gradually with each step he takes. "He did."

You swallow thickly, tilting your head. "And what did it say?"

The grin returns as Jeongguk slides a tattooed hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He thumbs around one-handed for a moment, then reads, "Our little darling has the green light to play around with you," He glances up and adds, "Discreetly, of course."

"Of course," you mutter softly. 

Jeongguk slides his phone back into his pocket. "How are you feeling today?" he asks, voice sweeter than you expect.

Unsure exactly what he might be asking, you fumble, saying, "G-good. I feel good."

Jeongguk lifts his hands and places them on your biceps, then slowly rubs down to your elbows and back up. "Not too sore?"

Ah, of course, that is what he is asking. You did feel the aftermath of him fucking your brains out when you woke up this morning, but it eased throughout the day. Although you are certain that if he slid his thick, pretty cock back inside, your walls would ache. The thought alone has you fighting the urge to squeeze your thighs together. 

"No," you respond, wetting your lips and watching as Jeongguk's eyes follow the movement. 

Jeongguk's hands slide down past your hands, then he hooks both index fingers into the waistband of your slacks and says, "We have to be quick, but I could be gentle with you, just in case."

He leans in and stops with his lips so close to yours that the slightly sweet whiskey-hinted scent of his breath joins his already enticing fragrance. You want to close the gap and claim his lips, but you wait, staring into his deep, round eyes. 

"I don't want you to be gentle," you whisper, gaze falling to his lips in time for them to curl into a smirk and close in. 

You moan as Jeongguk kisses you, wasting no time licking over the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. As you open your mouth and dance the tip of your tongue over his, Jeongguk hastily undoes the fly of your slacks, yanking your hips to rock against him as he figures out the clasp and pulls down the zipper. 

He shoves the garment to the floor, and as soon as you lift your right foot to free it from the pant leg, he takes your thigh and lifts it, spreading you wide to rake his clothed erection over you. The friction is just enough to make you whimper, and you angle your hips in an attempt to press yourself against him even more. 

"Matching mesh panties," Jeongguk groans as he reaches between your bodies and cups your cunt with his palm, squeezing and rubbing in firm, long movements. 

"Fuck," you whisper, feeling a burst of arousal quake down your spine. 

He leans close once more, lips against yours as he grits, "You drive me fucking crazy."

In a rush, you reach for Jeongguk's pants and begin to undo his button and fly, swallowing every hiss and groan as your knuckles graze his erection. And as much as those sweet sounds urge you to drop to your knees and swallow him deep into your throat just to hear a symphony of his pleasure, you need him to fuck you right now.

Jeongguk takes over and pushes his pants and briefs down, and you shift around to sit back on the wide, velvet arm of the couch, leaning on your elbows and spreading your thighs wide. The look on Jeongguk's face is one of desperation, and you bite your lip at the sight of his pretty cheeks blushing. Knowing you have this kind of an effect on the man who had absolutely nothing nice to say to you for the longest time has your ego inflating to great heights.

"You are so fucking sexy," Jeongguk groans as he pushes your panties aside with one hand while dipping two fingers into his mouth and reaching down to rub the pads of his fingertips over your clit and down to your entrance. You gasp in tandem as he circles your hole and presses broth fingers inside. "Always so fucking tight."

"Please," you whimper, feeling just as needy as he looks. "Please, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk nods and removes his fingers, then spreads your arousal onto his length as he pumps himself a few times, closing the gap between you. Without a word, Jeongguk sinks his cock in deep, giving you no time to adjust to the stretch as you bow your back with a moan and take every inch he has to offer. Your walls ache just slightly enough for the pleasure-pain to make you dizzy.

"Fuck, doll, that's it. You take this cock so well."

You mutter, "Holy shit," punch-drunk from how good he feels, letting your head loll back. 

"Eyes on me," Jeongguk instructs, and you lift your head and meet his gaze, watching his mouth fall agape, mirroring yours, while he pulls his hips back and slams them forward. 

Jeongguk spears you open so deliciously, you struggle to keep your head lifted and eyes open. And he wastes no time picking up a pace that has you moaning and crying his name. 

"Probably shouldn't be so loud," Jeongguk groans as he places the fingers that had been shoved inside your cunt moments ago in front of your lips. You open your mouth and accept his offering, sucking your taste from him as you attempt to stifle your moans. 

He fucks you hard and fast, and you squeeze around him, matching his rhythm and working yourself toward orgasm quickly. Eager to cum—knowing that there is no way this quick and dirty hookup will last too long—you reach your hand between your legs and begin to touch yourself. The velvet of the couch feels rough against the one elbow that anchors you, but the hint of pain adds to the overwhelming pleasure, pushing you closer to the edge. 

"That's it, cum on this cock," Jeongguk urges, sweat glistening over every inch of skin that you can see. 

The twirl of your fingertips matched with the unrelenting drive of Jeongguk's hips has you plummeting past the edge of sanity. And his words certainly help. All you can do is whimper and sob around his fingertips, and your eyes flicker closed before widening as pleasure trembles and quakes through each inch of you. 

"Want to fill you with my cum," Jeongguk groans, pressing his fingers against your tongue hard enough to make drool pool in the edges of your mouth. "Want you to walk around feeling me drip out of you. Want my hyungs to find your panties soiled and sticky. That sound good to you, dollface?"

Although you know you will come to regret this choice as soon as the afterglow fades, you do love the idea of Yoongi and Namjoon touching you and feeling Jeongguk's dried cum in your panties. It is filthy in the best possible way, and you yearn for it. 

You mutter, "Mmhmm," and attempt to nod your head while sucking greedily on Jeongguk's fingers. 

Jeongguk fucks impossibly harder, attempting to stifle his moans through grit teeth, sounding absolutely heavenly as his low voice lilts high and pretty. You should not feel so smitten by Jeongguk when he is balls deep and filling you with his cum, but he is absolutely stunning, and it is impossible to ignore. 

As his hips tremble and still, he drops his fingers from your lips and leans close, supporting your legs with both arms as he lays you back and kisses you deep and hungrily. The two of you moan and whimper, gnashing lips, teeth, and tongues as if your lives depend on this exchange. 

Jeongguk breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against yours, panting heavily. His skin is warm and glistening with sweat, and you lift your arms to wrap them around his shoulders. 

"This is dangerous," Jeongguk mutters, and you tilt your head ever so slightly, humming a curious, "Hmm?"

"How will I keep my hands off you now that I know how amazing you are?"

This soft, sweet side of Jeongguk still takes you by surprise, and you find yourself feeling shy once more as you mutter, "Shut up," at a loss for anything else to say. 

"I mean it," he says, pressing his lips to yours and moaning when you lean into the chaste kiss. "I don't want anything as serious as Namjoon has with the two of you…this is strictly physical. But you really are amazing, doll; you know that, right?"

"Stop," you respond, attempting to shove Jeongguk away. He remains firmly nestled inside you and crowding your personal space, and although you enjoy his presence, you are beginning to feel somewhat claustrophobic. 

You know that this is strictly physical—you wouldn't want it any other way. So why does him saying it aloud make your heart feel just a little too heavy? 

The fact is, you are only in a romantic relationship with Yoongi and Namjoon, and you know that you would not be able to handle it if you and Jeongguk became anything more than two friends who bicker and fuck. But in these moments when he is caring and sweet, there is a tiny part of you that thinks you would like a little more between the two of you. 

"Alright," Jeongguk says with a soft chuckle, standing straight and pulling his softened cock from inside you. "I have to get to work."

Jeongguk looks absolutely disheveled and fucked out with blush-reddened cheeks, covered in a sheen of sweat, and you cannot help but laugh as you imagine him returning to the club with a straight face, going about his business as if nothing has happened. You wonder if he cued Jimin in on the fact that he would not be on the floor for however long this little tryst lasted or if Jimin might be searching for the two of you at the moment. 

"Good luck with that," you tease, sitting up and immediately attempting to stand, doing your best not to allow any of Jeongguk's and your cum to drip onto the velvet couch. 

Jeongguk reaches out and lightly grabs your elbows, steadying you as you bend out of his grasp and begin shuffling your leg back into your slacks. With a series of small hops and wiggles, you are back in your clothing, and you clasp and zip the fly, then run your hands down the front of the tight mesh corset top. 

"What are you wearing to Seokjin's event?" Jeongguk asks, stepping close and using the pad of his thumb to wipe under your right eye, where you assume a little makeup has smudged. 

"I have no idea," you admit, imagining Yoongi will want to shop for something bespoke tomorrow morning. "I usually let the boss dress me. He seems to enjoy it."

"Gross," Jeongguk responds with a playful crinkle of his nose, muttering to add, "Please tell me you do not call him boss in bed."

You swat away Jeongguk's hand, which has hovered beside your cheek as you break out into laughter. Jeongguk pretends to be affronted, holding his hand close to his chest as if you have wounded him. Once the laughter dies, Jeongguk reaches both arms to drape over your shoulders, forcing you to step close. 

"Well tell the boss I request something with a nice long slit up the thigh for easy access. Maybe something that really hugs all your curves."

With a scoff, you search Jeongguk's face for a hint that he is joking, and although he is behaving playfully, he truly does seem serious. 

"So bossy. You forget who I am supposedly engaged to, hmm?" you tease, cocking your head to the side and batting your lashes. "Because it is not you, Jeon."

Jeongguk steps closer, forcing you to tilt your head to look at him. He leans until his lips are a hair's width away. 

"I'm aware of who you are pretending to be engaged to, dollface," he spits in a tone that could be mistaken for anger if you could not see the smile and glimmer in his eyes, even this close. "That does not mean I won't be pulling you into some secluded room to fuck you while your boyfriends have to stand idly by and wait for us to return."

"And why would you do that?" you ask, already knowing the answer. 

Jeongguk gently sucks and nibbles at your lower lip, causing you to gasp and whimper, then he pulls back with a smirk and says, "For fun."

You roll your eyes and shove Jeongguk back, causing him to lose balance just enough to stumble. Then he opens the door and mutters, "Ladies first," holding his hand out as your invitation to exit. 

The music playing in the club is loud and upbeat, and although it had been coming through the speakers of the private room, you had been too distracted to really notice it. As you make your way down the hallway, past the dancer's green rooms and Jimin's office, the bass reverberates through you in a rhythm that is intoxicating and overwhelming. You would love a drink right now.

Although you are sure it would not matter if you returned to the main room with Jeongguk, you decide to hang back a few paces and then veer off toward the ladies' room in the opposite direction of the bar, not looking back to check whether Jeongguk notices. And as soon as you step into the small brightly lit space and check your reflection, noticing small tell-tale signs that you definitely just had sex, you take in a deep breath. 

This whole situation with Jeongguk is fun, but there is a sense of trepidation that surrounds it, now that you have had a little time to let this entire situation settle. Both Yoongi and Namjoon have given you enthusiastic consent to fuck their best friend, yet you still fear that eventually, at some point, they might change their minds. And although you know that you would absolutely, without a doubt, agree to stop fucking Jeongguk if they asked you to, you already fear that emotionally, it could tear you apart. 

You definitely crave Jeongguk's attention. You appreciate how different it feels to be flirted with by him than it feels with Yoongi and Namjoon. You enjoy the thrill of knowing that all of it has to be done in secret when it is not done at someone's home—and Jeongguk has already proven to be the type to like secret, semi-public sex. Being claimed and used by him is thrilling in a way you have not experienced much before.

As you dry your hands and exit the restroom, you curse yourself for continuing to have the same train of thought stuck on repeat. You are far too sober to ignore the fact that already the thought of being something more than a fuck buddy for Jeongguk has begun invading your mind. Already you are asking yourself why you are so dead set on trying to talk yourself out of even humoring the idea. 

And it is not as if you can walk into the main room—or anywhere, for that matter—and fully ignore his presence, or try to block what just happened out. With each step you take, you can feel the mix of body fluids squelching just inside your cunt, threatening to drip out. Even if you tried to wipe yourself off, there would be no way to fully cleanse yourself of him. 

Perhaps it is not even him you would wish to cleanse yourself of; perhaps you are simply reconciling the idea that you are capable of becoming attached to people rather quickly, and you know just how fucking dangerous that can be. 

You make your way to the bar for one whiskey sour and then two. Hyejin is out sick for a few nights, meaning Jeongguk is busy. Jimin seems to know what the two of you were up to just based on the judgmental upturned-eyebrowed gaze that follows you whenever the two of you are even briefly within proximity of one another. 

By the third whiskey sour, two familiar men walk into the building. You spot Namjoon first, wearing his black shirt unbuttoned to the center of his chest. His short brown hair is styled off his forehead, and he wears a thin black choker around his neck. Rather than wearing his standard black slacks, he has black skinny jeans that almost appear shiny, outlining each curve of muscle in his thighs. 

And then Yoongi follows, and something in the air feels as if it shifts. Yoongi on a normal day is stunning—pretty in ways that make you stop what you are doing to watch him. But tonight, his hair is messy and wild, and he wears a shiny bomber jacket with hints of gold and burgundy that shimmer in the club lights. A leopard print scarf is tied around his neck, and he wears a black shirt with a low, rounded neck, tucked into very tight black jeans. 

Yoongi scans the room, eyes landing on you first, and you clench tightly to the cold, damp glass in your hand as he makes his way over slowly, like a beast on the prowl. Namjoon follows, dimples creasing his cheeks as his gaze rakes over your form. As they approach, you catch hints of black ink on Namjoon's honey skin peeking from his shirt, and notice both of them are wearing a dusting of black eyeshadow. 

"Darling," Yoongi greets with a smile, lifting his arms up, beckoning you to hug him. You shift to the side just enough to set your drink on the bar behind you and to your left, and then you step forward and allow Yoongi's arms to engulf you. With his lips pressed to your temple, Yoongi softly rasps, "You look absolutely stunning, tonight."

"Thanks," you mutter as your heart pounds, and you lift your hands to his hips. Yoongi's musk is more floral than usual, and you close your eyes and bury your nose against his neck and the scarf tied around it, then drag your lips over the soft, warm skin. 

When you finally take a step back, you rub your hands over the fabric of his jacket, which appears almost metallic, feeling rough tiny sequins lightly scratching against your palms. 

"I like your jacket," you say as your eyes move from the pretty, inviting material to Yoongi's even prettier, even more inviting face. 

"Then it's yours," he responds with a smirk, causing warmth to flood your cheeks. 

"I like it on you," you clarify with a lift of your brow, then you push at the material enough to lift it and have a peek at his bare shoulders, realizing that he has a tank top on, adding, "Although I suppose I would like it off of you, as well."

Namjoon approaches on the right and leans an elbow on Yoongi's shoulder. His gaze is dark and hungry—piercing, almost—and there is a bloodshot quality to his eyes that suggests he is either high or he has been drinking. 

"This jacket truly does look stunning on the floor," Namjoon says with a wink, turning in time to watch Yoongi roll his eyes and crack a smile that shows off his gums. Namjoon chuckles, and the sound is deep and pretty and makes your heart pound. 

You are curious about so many things, including what drove them to get so dressed up tonight, and how their meeting went with the possible hotel sale. But you open your mouth with the intention of finding one of those topics to ask about when Jeongguk steps into the peripheral and wraps an arm around your waist. 

"Hey, hyungs," Jeongguk greets in a playful tone that gives you goosebumps. 

Yoongi and Namjoon nod to Jeongguk, but their gazes flit between the two of you, and to the hand that holds you just under the ribs. 

You expect one of them to tease you—it must be obvious that you fucked, or that you have become closer in some manner—and you are a bit surprised when Yoongi cocks his head toward Namjoon, eyes still on you, as he says, "Aren't the two of them stunning together?"

Namjoon hums and nods, and suddenly, you want to squirm away and create space between you and Jeongguk. You feel scrutinized in a way that is unfamiliar but that you liken to parents meeting a romantic partner for the first time. It is not Jeongguk's presence that embarrasses you, but the way they acknowledge his presence, making you feel like an insect trapped under a magnifying glass. 

Namjoon keeps his elbow on Yoongi's shoulder as he glances around the space, eyes slowly trailing around. "You, Jimin, and Hyejin are doing well, it seems."

"Business is booming," Jeongguk responds as his hand gently rubs small shapes against your side, fingertips playing lightly with the threading and ribbing of your corset top. "Jimin is the genius of the operation; Hyejin and I merely do what he tells us to."

"Well you seem to be doing it well," Yoongi says, holding his chin high with a proud glimmer in his eyes. 

The hand on your side tenses then relaxes, and you turn your gaze to Jeongguk, who looks at you with a shy smile, then turns back to Yoongi to mutter, "Thank you, hyung."

"You seem happier," Namjoon adds, dropping his arm to his side, then stepping in to play with Jeongguk's satin collar. "This style suits you, and your attitude has improved substantially."

"Hyung," Jeongguk whines, attempting to step away from Namjoon but hitting his elbow against the bar. 

This makes Yoongi chuckle, who teases with a playful, "Our little Ggukah is all grown up."

"Ugh," Jeongguk complains, dropping his hand from your side before walking away, making the three of you laugh. 

"He's so easy to rile up," Namjoon jokes, to which Yoongi says, "Too easy."

The three of you settle at the bar with drinks. You finish your third, and they slam a few shots to catch up. By the time you are setting down the fourth drink and excusing yourself to the restroom, both men are handsy and whining about letting you go.

"I have to pee," you complain, yanking your wrist from Namjoon's eager grip. 

"Fine," he groans with a pout and puppy dog eyes that have you scoffing and shaking your head. 

You are surprised by how much you stumble through the club on your way to the ladies' room.  To be fair, you were more excited to dress up and get pretty this evening and barely touched any food before heading over here—something the three of you will need to remedy before heading home. The light of the bathroom is too bright, and you sit just a little too hard on the toilet, squeezing your eyes closed to try to focus them a little better when they open, causing the stall to be nothing but a tan and red blur. 

After washing up and checking your drunk but agreeable reflection, you make your way back through the club. But before you can reach the bar, a customer—some older man you have never seen before—grabs you by the bicep. 

"Are you available for a dance?" he slurs, filling your chest with anxious trepidation, which you attempt to swallow down while yanking your arm uselessly. "I see you here all the time, but you're never on stage."

"I don't work here," you respond through grit teeth, pulling your arm from his grasp and stumbling two steps backward.

The man frowns and opens his mouth to shout something slurred and incomprehensible, and in a blink, you are surrounded by Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin. 

"Do we have a problem?" Yoongi asks in a firm, direct tone that is as intimidating as it is sexy.

"Boss M-Min," the man stammers, eyes moving between Yoongi, you, and the others. "No, sir. S-sorry."

Jimin pipes up, "If I see you lay a hand on another woman in this club—employee or not—I will have you kicked to the curb," causing the older man to stand tall, suddenly appearing offended. But he does not respond with words; he merely nods his head and turns away, returning to his seat at a small round table facing one of the side stages.

"Sorry about him," Jimin says, stepping close and placing his hands on your shoulders. 

Only now, when you finally have a chance to breathe, are you aware of the panic that fills you, squeezing at your chest like thorny vines snaked between your ribs, threatening to make you collapse. 

"I need some fresh air," you mutter quietly as you turn out of Jimin's light hold toward the back exit and struggle to move your feet more than three steps. 

Namjoon wraps an arm around your waist and assists you with walking to the exit. "Does that happen often?" he asks low and sweet, voice as comforting as it is concerned. 

"No," you mutter, shaking your head. "Never."

Frankly, you are shocked that it has taken this long for a man to accost you—a thought nobody should reasonably have. But considering the atmosphere and your proximity to it, you have come to expect some of the customers to be a little sleazy. Sure, men have whistled, shouted, and made lewd gestures before, but nobody has ever grabbed onto you. 

Once the back door is open and the cool night air hits you in a somewhat uncomfortable burst, you tense up and curl into Namjoon's chest, having to somewhat waddle sideways as you fully step out and maneuver both bodies beside the door. You shiver, but a second and third body close in on you. 

"Want me to throw him out?" Jimin asks, burying the other side of your face against his chest. 

"No," you mumble.

"Alternatively," Namjoon suggests, "I could bring him out here and gut him like a fish. Paint the street with his blood and fill the night with his screams."

The tone in Namjoon's voice is so dead serious that it makes your stomach churn. "No thank you," you mumble, burying your face into his soft shirt and softer skin in an attempt to block out the mental image. 

At moments like this, you remember the men you love are part of a mafia. Has Namjoon gutted someone before? Does he enjoy the way it feels to pierce and slice flesh with a blade? Can he stomach the smell?

"I have to get back in there," Jimin states with a sigh, hugging the group of bodies tight and practically suffocating you in satin before backing out of the bunch. "If you change your mind about that guy, let us know."

Jimin steps back, and you hear the door open, followed by the loud burst of upbeat club music before it closes, muffling the noise to nothing more than bass reverberating through the walls. Yoongi wraps himself over your shoulders, chest pressed into your back, and you rest against Namjoon, closing your eyes to the gentle sound of the two of them kissing. 

"Jeongguk mentioned he left us a gift," Yoongi drawls after a quiet moment, and you gasp. 

You had somehow forgotten all about what transpired between you and Jeongguk earlier, but now that it is at the forefront of your mind, the damp cloth between your legs feels somewhat cold and uncomfortable. 

Before you can say anything, one of Yoongi's hands begins to travel down between the press of your and Namjoon's bodies, fingers grazing over the thin material covering your breast, making you shiver as your hard nipple is lightly touched. As his hand moves lower, you take a slow, fortifying breath and hold it, eager not to give yourself away too much. 

Just the gentle graze of Yoongi's fingertips passing over your waist and hip has your eyelids fluttering. And when he reaches between your legs, presses against your soiled slacks, and groans, you let out the breath in a shaky exhale, gripping onto Namjoon's shoulders, lest you collapse. 

"My, my," he groans, making Namjoon hum in question. "She's soaked, Joonie. Is this all you, darling? Or is it him, too?"

You huff an embarrassed sigh and attempt to relax your grip on Namjoon as you mutter, "It's him, too."

Namjoon reaches between your legs and touches eagerly—almost roughly. You whimper and take a dizzy step back; if it weren't for the tight proximity of bodies, you may have fallen into Yoongi. 

"Naughty, naughty," Namjoon teases, cupping his hand over both your clothed cunt and Yoongi's wandering fingers. "What do you think, hyung? We can't just let some runt stake claim on our pussy without having it for ourselves." 

Yoongi chuckles deep and sardonic, and you bite back a smile of your own. If it weren't for their eager touches and inviting tones, you would be laughing over the mental image of three dogs pissing on the same hydrant to claim dominance. Only, instead, they are your sexy boyfriends and their equally sexy best friend, and their little rivalry involves wanting to fill you with their cum. 

"I know a spot," you all but moan, looking up to find Namjoon staring at you hungrily. 

"Oh?" Yoongi asks playfully, pressing his fingertips against you in a slow circle. 

With a nod and a whimper, you say, "Just so ha-happens there are rooms in this very building, meant for that very thing."

Yoongi steps back, taking his warmth and hand away, and your skin feels almost shocked by how cold it is. 

"Lead the way," Yoongi suggests, and you fumble a couple steps back, still holding onto Namjoon's shoulders, before turning toward the door.  

As soon as you walk back into the building, the music is loud and overwhelming. You take Yoongi's hand and lead him to the hallway, making a pit stop at Jimin's office door, which is ajar just an inch. You knock, and hear his soft, "What is it?" then peek your head in. 

"Anyone in the executive suite?" you ask nervously, biting your lip. 

Jimin squints then grins and shakes his head. "It's all yours, dove. Have fun!" 

The sing-song manner of Jimin's tone makes your cheeks warm, and you mutter, "Thanks, Jimin," as you step back and return the door to its almost closed state. 

Namjoon takes your other hand and rubs his thumb over your knuckles, and it does very little to calm your pounding heart, but you are still a bit on edge, unsure of what to expect. Neither of them seems upset, but there is still that fear in the back of your mind that it could change. 

You know that you should give both men a little more credit; Yoongi and Namjoon have been nothing but open, curious, and honest with you about their desire to share and experiment. This threesome only exists because of their experience and eagerness to have this kind of relationship. So why do you worry so much?

Past the private dance rooms, the hallway takes a left turn. Changbin sits on a chair in a small enclave that is black from floor to ceiling and looks like a dead end. At your approach, he straightens out and stands, then bows. 

"Boss," he says, standing tall and strong and stepping aside to pull back a curtain to reveal a black door with a small keypad. "All rooms are empty, so you can take your pick."

"We plan to use the executive suite tonight," Yoongi says with a gentle squeeze of your hand. "Jimin has already been made aware."

"Of course," Changbin responds with a bow of his head. "Enjoy."

Everyone who has access to the lower level has their own eight-digit code for the keypad. This way, Jimin is able to track who goes where, and stragglers cannot simply find their way down there. Not that the door is ever left unmanned. 

You punch in 19931994 and listen for the mechanism to whine and click, then you press the door open with your palm. It is heavy, and the moment the three of you are through, it closes tightly behind you, though Yoongi reaches back to push against it anyway. 

The hallway is lit in fuchsia, and the music is slower and more sensual—some R&B track you cannot identify with a singer whose voice alternates between soft and breathy, and quick and raspy. Namjoon releases your hand and walks ahead to the end of the hallway. When he reaches the door just a few paces before you, he turns and crosses his arms over his chest. 

With a stern voice and sterner expression, Namjoon says, "I want you to undress and position yourself exactly how Jeongguk had you, understand, baby?"

You respond, "Yes, daddy," without hesitation, and although Namjoon's eyes widen ever so slightly, his stern expression does not falter. 

Namjoon steps aside, and you enter your passcode on another keypad and walk into the dimly red-lit space, past the bed, to the white leather sofa. The arms of this sofa are not quite as wide as the ones on the green velvet couch, but they are wide enough.

Wordlessly, you strip your slacks off but keep the left leg still hooked in the fabric, then you sit on the sofa arm and rest back on your elbows. 

"Didn't bother to undress you," Yoongi practically snarls as he takes his place before you and undoes his belt buckle and fly. "Just a quick and dirty fuck, huh?"

"Yes, sir," you respond through a somewhat shattered breath. 

"I'm guessing no foreplay?" Namjoon asks, taking his place beside Yoongi with his arms once more crossed over his chest. 

"No, daddy."

Yoongi tsks and shakes his head. Namjoon chuckles. 

"Poor girl," Yoongi teases with a pout, sliding out of his pretty shimmery jacket, which Namjoon takes and places neatly aside, on the bed. "I was really looking forward to tasting you."

The thought of being denied Yoongi's tongue fills you to the brim with frustration, but you let your eyes rake over his toned, bare arms as a distraction. Yoongi is far more muscular than he appears under the long-sleeved shirts he wears, and even a glimpse of his bare skin drives you wild—has you thanking the fashion gods for tank tops. 

"He groped me over my panties," you inform Yoongi with an innocent smile. "Cupped his hand over me, rubbed and squeezed a little."

Yoongi steps forward and grabs your cunt firmly with his palm. "Like this?" he asks, and you gasp as your head lolls back, whimpering a soft, "Just like that."

"What else?" Namjoon asks. 

"He spread and lifted my legs," you mutter as Yoongi palms roughly at you, pressing moist mesh against eager nerves. "He held my right leg with his arm."

Yoongi removes his hand only long enough to lift and spread your legs, yanking slightly to get you into position. Although Jeongguk is a little taller, you line up with Yoongi just right, and you attempt to swivel your hips in search of friction, but Yoongi's palm returns. 

"He pushed his pants and briefs down, and pulled my panties aside," you continue. "Then he licked two fingers and touched me a little."

With a lift of his brow, Yoongi brings two fingers to his doll lips and wets them with his tongue. 

"He only touched my clit briefly, but he did finger me," you specify.

Namjoon wraps his arms around Yoongi's hips and finishes unzipping his pants, then he pushes them, along with his briefs, to the floor. The sight of Namjoon's arms around Yoongi, while Yoongi stands hard and leaking, makes you dizzy, and you lick your lips, watching Namjoon step back and pull his arms away, wishing Namjoon would continue to touch him—longing for the way Yoongi falls apart just for him. 

Yoongi reaches between your bodies and pulls your panties aside, then swirls over your clit once, twice, three times, building your arousal quickly, only to make it dissipate before his fingers dip inside, and you groan from the feeling. 

"Messy, messy cunt," Yoongi teases, lips parted as he plunges deep inside. "But still so fucking tight."

"Please fuck me, sir," you beg, absolutely needy for Yoongi's cock.

"Is that how you begged him?" Yoongi asks, pulling his fingers out and stroking his hard length. 

"Yes, sir," you admit, panting. 

"And did he fuck you, darling?"

"Yes, sir. He fucked me hard and deep."

Yoongi closes the minuscule gap between you and sinks his cock all the way in one fluid motion, pushing a moan from deep within your chest and lighting your body on fire. Yoongi feels thick and familiar in the most dizzying way, and you scrape your fingernails against the sides of the leather armrest in an attempt to hold on. 

"Did he kiss you?" Yoongi asks, leaning close and pulling his hips back, only to slam them forward. 

Some part of you wants to lie and say no, he did not kiss you, but you swallow thickly and admit, "Not during sex."

"After?" Yoongi asks with a smirk, pulling back and slamming forward once more. 

You sob through the word, "Yes!" and Yoongi's sharp smile grows bigger. 

"Did he do anything else?" Namjoon prompts, and you huff out a sigh, wishing Yoongi would set a pace and fuck you, already. 

"While he fucked me, I was being too loud, so he put his fingers in my mouth," you admit. 

Yoongi pulls back and slams forward again. "Being too loud, hmm?"

You whimper and nod, saying, "We weren't down here. We were in one of the private dance rooms."

"He couldn't even bring you down here to fuck you?" Namjoon teases, cocking his head. "Aren't there cameras in those rooms?"

Finally, Yoongi sets a pace and begins to fuck you, and as you attempt to say he turned that camera off, all you can do is moan a broken, "He t-turned," losing the rest of the sentence. 

Yoongi lifts his hand and slots his fingers between your lips before you can attempt to say another word, and you suck hard, doing your best to keep your eyes on him. The taste of your arousal on his fingers is different from the taste you left on Jeongguk's—a bit subdued but still just as heady. 

You whimper and babble uselessly around Yoongi, drool falling from the sides of your lips while you suck. Although this is meant to be just a quickie, Yoongi does not rush; he has nowhere else to go. By the time you lift your hand to touch your clit, you are already fast approaching orgasm.

"Did you touch yourself while Jeongguk fucked you?" Namjoon asks. 

You nod, and Yoongi removes his fingers for you to say, "We had to hurry, and I wanted to cum."

"Greedy girl," Namjoon teases with a wink and a smile, making you smile in return.

Your head bobs as Yoongi fucks you, and he says, "Well, then, touch yourself, darling," before returning his fingers to your lips. 

Just one pass over your clit has you crumbling, and you suck hard, squealing. Yoongi's pace quickens, and the hand on your hip grips bruisingly. 

"That's it, darling; cum for me."

As you clench around him, chasing your high, Yoongi's head rolls back, and he groans deep and pretty. The sight of his dark, messy hair and sweat-slicked neck is so inviting, you continue to clench just to push him over the edge as your high begins to crash. 

You reach for Yoongi's leopard print scarf to pull him close for a deep, hungry kiss—much like the one you shared with Jeongguk, only softer. Yoongi does not gnash and nip as if this is the last kiss you will ever share; Yoongi sucks gently and licks firmly, filling your mouth with his sweet, needy moans. 

It is not long before Yoongi's hips are trembling and stilling. And your grip on him is so tight that you feel him twitch and empty inside you. 

"Fuck, baby, your pussy is heaven," Yoongi groans against your lips. "Absolutely perfect."

Overcome with emotion, you continue to grip tightly to his scarf and lick into his mouth. Yoongi chuckles lightly and hums as you tease his lip, indulging you before pulling back and straightening out. 

"Did you kiss him like that, after?" Yoongi asks, cheeks tinted with blush and hair messy. 

"No, sir," you admit, letting your head dip downward while keeping your eyes up and on him. 

The smile that graces his lips is pretty and loving, and he stares for a moment, catching his breath despite being the breathtaking one. 

Yoongi bends to pull up his pants and get himself situated, then steps back. You feel his release dripping from your cunt, and you almost begin to sit up when Namjoon approaches and begins to undo his belt.

"Think you can handle one more?" Namjoon asks with a grin that dimples his cheeks. 

"Don't think I have much of a choice," you respond with a bite to your lip, eager to feel him inside you.

Namjoon's smile falls, and his hands drop to his sides. "Of course you do," he says sadly, making your heart clench. 

"I know that," you insist, sitting up quickly, instinctively reaching your hands toward him. "I was just being cheeky; I know you would never do anything that I don't want."

Every feature on Namjoon's face is sweet and soft, and his lips tug into a smile once more. "Sorry," he mutters as he steps close and leans forward. "I get in my head sometimes."

You reach out and take Namjoon's shirt just as you held Yoongi's scarf, and Namjoon stumbles forward before bending closer. "You're sweet," you say as you slot your lips together and hum. Namjoon is pillow soft with hints of whiskey, and you sink into the feeling, eager to drown. 

Slowly, you pull from the kiss and say, "Fuck me, daddy," watching as his lips upturn. 

"So demanding," he teases as his hands reach for his slacks and begin working open the button and fly. 

"Please," you add, releasing Namjoon's shirt and leaning back on your elbows, spreading your thighs wide. "Make me forget what Jeonggukie did to me."

Namjoon practically snarls as he shoves his pants and briefs down, and he somewhat forcibly cups your wet, used pussy, sending a shiver of arousal through you.

You hardly have a chance to breathe with the way Namjoon kisses you—hot and rough and demanding. And although he follows the same formula Yoongi had, with very little instruction given, the pace and ferocity with which he fucks you has you momentarily forgetting even your own name. 

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

For Seokjin's event, Yoongi has bought you a simple black satin evening gown with a plunging v-line and spaghetti straps that cross over your exposed back. The back v-line dips dangerously low, and, much to Jeongguk's excitement, there is a high slit up the right thigh. 

You stand in Yoongi's closet, staring into the mirror along the far back wall while Jimin finishes getting all of your hair pinned up. Yoongi wraps various delicate silver necklaces around your neck in search of the perfect one while Namjoon and Jeongguk chatter lowly in the bedroom about something or other, and you could swear you heard Taehyung's deep voice at some point, as well. 

Yoongi finally decides on a dainty silver chain with no charm for you to wear and begins to search the drawers in his closet's island for a matching piece for himself. Meanwhile, Jimin exits the closet, and Jeongguk steps in. 

"I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to give you your birthday gift early," Jeongguk says.

Surprised, you glance at him through the mirror before turning to regard him fully. Jeongguk is in his typical Paradise garb—in fact, all of the family men wear black satin and black slacks, with black and silver accessories. Jeongguk's hair is styled away from his forehead with a freshly short chop and sharp undercut. 

"After that guy touched you at Paradise, I thought you should have it," Jeongguk continues. "Especially since we'll be at the casino tonight; there's no telling what kind of seedy characters might be there."

Taehyung pops around the corner, holding onto a small, rectangular box, and Jeongguk nods for you to take it. You reach for it, and Taehyung says, "From both of us."

"Of course," you respond with a smile, feeling your heart burst as your fingertips rub over crushed velvet. You have a feeling there must be some kind of weapon inside, based on Jeongguk's hint—a knife, judging by the size of the container. 

As you open the box, Yoongi leans in close, and Namjoon takes a step into the space, glancing over Jeongguk's shoulder. 

"I, uh—"Jeongguk begins as you crack it open, and you halt your movement to look at him. "I hope it's not too insensitive, given…well…you'll see."

You hesitate a moment, then continue opening it, gasping at the sight of the gift. Nestled against what appears to be black lace is a switchblade. The handle is black lacquer with mother-of-pearl decorations of flowers and birds. It is gorgeous and dainty, and when you lift it, the weight is surprisingly heavy. The blade that springs out is thin and appears to be very sharp, and you twirl it in your fingers as your eyes well with tears. 

"This is beautiful," you say, finally looking at Jeongguk, then to Taehyung. "Thank you so much, you guys."

"It's sharp as fuck," Taehyung says with a grin. "And if you ever need it to be sharpened, just stop on by."

"There's a strap, too," Jeongguk adds somewhat shyly. "Hence why I thought…"

When he trails off, you chuckle. Clearly, Jeongguk knows about your method of killing Seungri all those years ago, and it is a sweet thing for him to consider. 

"I love it," you say before he can spiral, and when his features turn soft and his smile brightens, warmth rises to your face. You chuckle, adding, "And I like it a lot more than a gun." 

"Well," Namjoon urges from over Jeongguk's shoulder, stealing your attention. He winks as he says, "Try it on."

You set the box down on the island and pull out the bundle of lace, which happens to be a thigh garter. With a scoff, you turn to Jeongguk and teasingly ask, "Is this why you wanted me to have a thigh slit tonight?"

As everyone's attention turns to Jeongguk, he visibly balks, rolling his eyes. 

"I can have many reasons for wanting the things I want," he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You unfurl the thigh garter and step into it, attempting to ignore all the eyes that watch as you bend and hike it high up your leg. Once it is in position just under the top of the dress slit, you grab the knife and attempt to decide where on your leg it might be most secure. 

Taehyung steps in and asks, "May I?" holding his hands toward your thigh, and although you cannot begin to fathom what he is asking for, you are flustered enough to nod and say, "Yes."

"There is a little piece of elastic inside," Taehyung says as he squats and delicately begins to snake two fingers under the band and feel around. Thankfully, he finds it quickly at the front of your thigh, and he gently begins to rotate it until that part is resting on your outer leg. Holding his palm out, he says, "Knife."

You hand Taehyung the knife, and he slides it into the band, securing it in the elastic bit. As he stands, you reach down to feel it. It only takes a few adjustments of the band's height and position on your thigh before it is perfect. Granted, when you look in the mirror, the entire weapon is visible in this particular dress. 

"Stunning," Yoongi says in a tone that is dark and rich with desire. 

"I agree," Namjoon adds, and you glance up to smile at everyone through the mirror before turning your attention back to your reflection. 

"And a perfect accessory for tonight," Yoongi adds, making you look up at him. "That paired with the engagement ring will tell everyone loud and clear just how deadly our little darling is." 

Ah, yes. The engagement ring. 

You look down at your empty hand and mutter, "Right, I should go get the ring," before turning and waiting for the wall of men to part and let you pass. 

At the thought of the ring—and Yoongi's statement about you being deadly—your heart feels heavy. Anxiety fills you as you pad barefoot through Yoongi's room, past Jimin, who sits on the bed, scrolling through his phone, glancing up with a soft smile. 

In the mansion, there is a light clattering of voices. Members of the family security team are downstairs waiting to escort you to the event, and Yoongi’s cooking team is in the kitchen finishing something sweet and full of carbohydrates, the smell of which wafts throughout the large mansion. 

Time seems to slow as you walk to your room—a room you hardly visit anymore. The familiar and unfamiliar sights and sounds are as comforting as they are daunting, and all the connotations of being part of this gentle but looming chaos fills you with dread. 

Do you want to be deadly? The prospect feels heavy. 

And after Yoongi's heroin relapse and stint in rehab, you worry about the prospect of being more entrenched in this lifestyle than you already are. Getting further involved in this business can only put you more at risk. And if Yoongi plunges off the deep end over losing one of his men, what could become of him should something ever happen to you?

Sure, you are merely playing a role tonight—dressing in a way that sends a message, and wearing a ring that symbolizes something fake. But your position at Yoongi's side is anything but fake, and standing there publicly is a huge hazard to your safety. 

You heavy-blink and realize you are standing in your dark bedroom, staring toward the bed. Light filters in through the windows, but it is the faint and golden glow of a setting sun. A particularly loud laugh echoes through the mansion, snapping you fully out of your trance, and you gaze around for the ring box, which sits Tiffany-blue on your bedside table. 

With a sigh, you approach and grab the ring box, snapping it open and stopping to stare at the giant rock inside before pulling it out and listlessly tossing the open box onto your bed. The ring is heavy as you slide it onto your finger, and your heart clenches at the weight. There is a part of you that hopes one day for this weight to support something real. But can you really become a mafia wife?

Although you hear soft footsteps approach, your gaze lingers on your hand and the ring that adorns it. Yoongi's soft voice asking, "Darling?" causes tears to well in your eyes, and you take a deep, fortifying breath before turning to regard him. 

Yoongi is stunning, leaning against your door frame with his brows gently tugged into a concerned frown. As he studies your eyes, he stands straight and slowly steps forward. Both of your hands are clenched in front of your stomach, and he takes them in his, rubbing his thumbs against your palms until your grip loosens. 

"Care to tell me what you're thinking?"

A chuckle works its way from your tummy, and you gaze down sheepishly at your conjoined hands, then back at Yoongi's face. "I don't know where I would even begin," you admit, feeling the urge to cry and swallowing it down.

"You look a little overwhelmed," Yoongi says, and you chuckle once more, nodding. 

"I think I am."

Yoongi licks his lips and hesitates before asking, "Does it have to do with the ring?"

You swallow thickly. "A little," you admit. 

Yoongi's grip on your hands tightens then releases, and he wraps you in a hug, pinning your arms to your sides. "Well, you do not have to tell me right now if you don't feel comfortable, but just know that I always value whatever is on your mind. Especially if it is stressing you out."

"I just…" you begin, closing your eyes and nuzzling your forehead against his neck, doing your best not to rub away any of the makeup on your eyes. 

With a sigh, you change your path, voice weak as you say, "I love you. And Namjoon. You're both amazing and you have been so good to me."

As you swallow thickly, feeling anxiety rise, Yoongi prompts you, saying, "But…"

"But this lifestyle terrifies me," you admit, voice trembling. "And this ring is so heavy and what it symbolizes is so huge, and I…I don't know, Yoongi. I don't know if I can handle all of this."

Yoongi says nothing, but he does sigh. His arms squeeze tighter, and the silence that drags causes you to ramble. 

"I know Namjoon said that the only way out of this lifestyle is death. And I can't…my heart aches imagining all the horrifying possibilities."

"Namjoon told you that," Yoongi mutters, sounding as disheartened as you feel. 

"He wasn't trying to scare me," you insist, lifting your arms to return Yoongi's hug and forcing his arms to slide up to your shoulders. "We were just discussing you, and us, and…all of this."

"It's true that there is a target on my back," Yoongi says, sighing, sounding more resolved than before. "But I am protected. I employ the strongest and smartest on this peninsula. I don't want you to worry about me, or Namjoon, or yourself."

"How could I not?" you practically sob, feeling tears rise and squeezing your eyes closed. 

"Shhh," Yoongi whispers, rubbing his hands on your back and taking a step out of the hug. "We should talk about this soon, but now isn't the time for worries like these, darling. Jimin will kill you if your makeup smears, and Seokjin will kill both of us if we arrive late."

The playful tone makes you laugh, and you sniffle, nodding your head and looking Yoongi in the eye, taking in his warm, almost sad expression. You know that Jimin would be nothing but sympathetic to your tears, and that Yoongi is only joking, but the image of Jimin's angry little snarl flashes in your mind anyway, making you laugh more. 

As if on cue, Namjoon arrives, looking over Yoongi's shoulder with a wide smile that falls into a concerned frown. "Everything okay?"

"As a matter of fact, everything is not okay," Yoongi says, turning to Namjoon with a faux glare that makes him widen his eyes with worry. "Why are you filling our darling's pretty little head with images of us dying."

Namjoon gasps, looks at you, and then back at Yoongi, asking, "When did I ever—"

"You told her the only way out of this lifestyle is death."

Recognition hits, and Namjoon sighs, stepping in and slinging an arm over Yoongi's shoulder, forcing him to turn and face you once more. Namjoon leans to the side, low enough to say softly into Yoongi's ear, "I told her that while you were in rehab and she was lamenting over how badly she wishes you could leave all of this behind."

When Yoongi blinks, his gaze hardens and then drops. "I can't just do that," he says with bitterness in his tone. 

"I know," you respond. "It was selfish of me to—"

"Loving someone is never selfish," Namjoon interrupts nicely, then he squeezes Yoongi's arm. "And you know damn well that she has every right to find what you do horrifying, Yoongi. Be gentle."

"I am gentle," Yoongi pouts, eyes still on the floor.

"Alright," Namjoon says, "Shall we? Seokjin will kill us if we're late."

Unable to hold back a smile, you nod and say, "Let's go."

"This conversation isn't over," Yoongi says in a tone that makes you nervous before softening as he says, "but I appreciate you telling me what is on your mind. And I don't mean to get defensive, this is just…well, it's the only lifestyle I have ever known."

To a certain extent, it is also the only one you have known. Only you were at the behest of powerful men and used as a plaything, and even a weapon, in lowly ranks, hoping for a way to escape to a better life. Sleeping in the bed of powerful men and standing at their side is something else, entirely. 

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

The casino is packed, and you already regret having to wear high heels on the carpeted floors, feeling each step sink slightly. Cigar smoke and the stench of an amalgamation of types of alcohol permeate the air, and the barrage of sounds from various betting machines blaring over shouting voices overwhelms. 

Yoongi leads you through the center of the casino, and you attempt to keep your head held high and your focus on nothing ahead of you, allowing all the flashing lights to bokeh into spots. When you finally blink everything back into focus, Seokjin is at the center of the room surrounded by a crowd of men. 

Try as you might, you have no idea what the hell this event is for. Each time you ask, you are met with a vague response and conclude that this must simply be a celebration of Seokjin and his beloved House of Cards. 

About an hour in, you are buzzed from whiskey and champagne and find yourself stumbling to the restroom near the bar. Although you are not quite intoxicated enough to be bumbling around, these heels are doing you no favors, and you find yourself griping about it under your breath. The stalls are all empty, and you sit longer than necessary on the toilet just to have a breather somewhere quiet and off your feet. 

When you exit the stall to wash your hands, a woman in a blood-red evening gown with her hair tied high on her head smiles at you through the mirror. You smile back, mostly just to be polite, and wash your hands before exiting. 

"Quite the rock you got there," the woman comments, making you stop in your tracks. Her voice has a sort of practiced shrillness to it, like she is only pretending to care. "What kind of man can afford a ring like that one?"

Unsure whether you are interested in having this conversation, you turn your head, smile softly, and respond, "A powerful one."

The woman hums and says, "I guess so."

You turn back toward the door and exit. 

As soon as you return to the bar, you notice that Yoongi and Namjoon are no longer there, but Jeongguk is, so you approach him. His eyes brighten instantly, and he downs his drink, then stands up straight and approaches, taking you by the elbow and spinning you in the opposite direction. 

"What are we—"

"Boss Min asked me to escort you to the second floor," Jeongguk responds a little too loud, and you bite back a smile. 

"Right," you respond, not buying his ruse. 

But he does lead you to the elevator, up to the second floor. Only everything is locked and dark, and there is no one around. 

"I can't take it anymore," Jeongguk mutters as he leads you into the banquet room—which he has the access code to—and through the long, vacant space, to the coat check closet where Yoongi first dropped the bomb that he was going to propose to you. "The dress, the knife…you are so fucking hot, dollface."

You say nothing as he closes the door behind you and then switches on the light. There is a low wooden countertop below a partial door, which is closed, and you kick out of your shoes and lean against it. If you are going to let Jeongguk fuck you, you need to do it in a position that is comfortable for both Yoongi and Namjoon to do the same. 

Jeongguk is on his phone, thumbing around while smiling, and you almost berate him for giving someone else your attention while you are standing here waiting for him. But then he turns off the screen and slides the device into his pocket with a devious grin.

"Let's see how far we get before my hyungs arrive," he mutters while sinking to his knees. 

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

You are drunk by the time you leave, used and satiated, feeling the squelch of cum between your legs. Jeongguk stares longingly at Taehyung from the passenger seat, but occasionally his gaze flits back to you, making your cheeks warm.

Yoongi sits to your right with Namjoon to your left, and although the vehicle is spacious, Taehyung had insisted on everyone strapping into a bulletproof vest, adding bulk to your bodies. Being that this event was widespread and it is likely that Ryujin's team could have caught wind, he rambled about being safe rather than sorry. Plus, there was mention of someone showing up to the event…some woman whose name you do not remember, who made everyone suspicious. 

Ahead of you is the vehicle containing Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jimin, as well as two members of the security team, one of whom resembles Changkyun, though you are unsure whether it really is him. They are leading the way to Paradise, where Jimin insists on having an after-party. 

As you drive through the city, a plume of dark smoke rises into the air, causing you to sit up and bend to better look out the windshield. "There's smoke ahead," you mutter, feeling worry in the pit of your stomach.

Just then, Yoongi's phone rings, shrieking and anxiety-inducing, and you sit back, staring ahead at the billowing smoke. 

"Yes?" Yoongi says as he answers, then says, "Jimin, speak slower."

"Is that Paradise?" Jeongguk asks as you get closer, and you feel panic rise. 

"She what?" Yoongi asks at the same time Taehyung says, "Looks like it's right across the street."

As the vehicle approaches, you realize that Paradise is not on fire, but the building directly across from it is. The building in question is part of a group of warehouses that, as far as you know, have recently been vacant.

"We're right behind you," Yoongi instructs. "Fire workers should be on their way, but we'll assess Paradise for any damages." 

The street is eerily empty as Taehyung pulls into the alleyway beside Paradise and shuts his lights off. Although this area is somewhat recently developing nightlife, slowly tearing down all the warehouses like the one currently in flames, there are still usually people littering the streets. Seeing nobody is concerning, even with Paradise closed for the night. 

"Strap up just in case," Yoongi instructs, and Jeongguk opens the large glove compartment and begins pulling out handguns. 

As everyone removes their seatbelts, Namjoon turns and gets onto his knees on the seat. He reaches back into the trunk, and you hear the sound of velcro parting. Then he hands you and Yoongi handguns, which you take with shaking hands. 

"Remember what you learned," Yoongi says as you stare at the weapon in your trembling hands, feeling its cold steel and familiar weight. "Take in a deep breath, line up your shot, and squeeze the trigger as you exhale."

At a loss for words, you nod, then swallow thickly. This is the absolute last thing you want to be holding in your hands tonight. Luckily, you switched your heels for ballet flats once you got to the vehicle, at least. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk exit the vehicle first while Yoongi and Namjoon stay put. You sit forward anticipating having to leave, and are a bit surprised when they do not. Through the rearview mirror, you watch as the two of them walk to the street with their guns tucked into the waistbands of their pants and glance around. Then Taehyung turns and waves for the rest of you to join him. 

"We should take the side door inside," you say, and Namjoon hums in response, though you are unsure what the nature of his hum is, exactly. 

Yoongi opens his door first, and Namjoon follows suit. "Go with Namjoon," Yoongi instructs, and you shift, then turn slightly to your left, waiting for Namjoon to exit.

Yoongi walks toward the street and Namjoon follows, but you hesitate. You do not want to be on an eerily silent street in the middle of the night while the building across from yours is billowing with smoke. This matter should be left to the fire department, and your family men should get the fuck home.

"Sweetheart," Namjoon softly calls, making you gasp, realizing the space between the two of you as you scurry ahead to catch up.

"I don't like this," you mutter, shoulders scrunched to your ears as you glance around the street. The sides of the bulletproof vest are rough and scratchy against your bare arms. "We should leave this to the professionals and go home."

"We are the professionals," Namjoon responds as you turn the corner and begin to walk toward the entrance of Paradise where Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jimin are all congregated. 

Jimin tenses as you approach, then sighs and relaxes when he sees that it is you. 

"Suited and strapped?" Seokjin teases, despite having a handgun tucked into his waistband. Hoseok has a fucking shotgun resting against his shoulder, and his smile is so blindingly bright that you struggle to reconcile the sight. Beside them, Changkyun and another man stand with what appear to be semi-automatic rifles in their hands.

"Safety first," Jeongguk slurs, clearly wasted despite how steadily he stands. 

"Any whispers?" Yoongi asks, and Seokjin blinks a few times then shrugs, saying, "None."

"Hmm," Yoongi taps his fingertips to his bottom lip, long fingers dancing as he speaks. "This is certainly a tactic to get our attention…but why? Where are they?"

You are not eager to find out who the message comes from or where they are, and you approach Double Seok and Jimin, sliding in close beside them. 

"Do we think this has anything to do with the sudden appearance of Hyungseo?" Taehyung asks. "There had been whispers of her helping in Busan."

Yoongi shrugs. "What could it mean? Unless she really is working for Ryujin, I can't imagine what her place in any of this would be. And why would she be setting one of Lady Choi's buildings on fire just to get our attention?"

"Why don't I take our dove inside?" Jimin suggests, and Yoongi turns his attention to you. 

You must look as terrified as you are, because Yoongi nods and says, "May as well. I don't need either of you getting hurt."

"Why don't we all get inside?" Jimin suggests. "We can assess the situation at a safe distance."

"Through what window?" Hoseok asks, and he is correct to do so; Paradise has no windows. 

"Stand in the fucking door, then," Jimin snaps, "I don't know."

From the distance, the siren of a fire truck screams, and you sigh with relief. The sound is piercing as it approaches, but it is a reprieve from the haunting silence and fills you with hope

As soon as the truck pulls up, workers pile onto the street and begin to put out the fire, minding your group no business. It takes a while, and everyone watches as hoses hooked to hydrants do their work. 

Although it probably lasts around a half hour, you and everyone stand transfixed. Once everything is under control, the workers pack up and leave without a word to any of you, as if they were never here at all. 

Eerie silence returns and is met with the smell of burnt wood and plastic. You feel sick to your stomach staring at the corpse of the building before you, partially caved in while bits of a frame stand amongst the wreckage, scorched black. 

"What is the message?" Yoongi asks. 

"Shall we go inside and wait it out?" Namjoon asks. 

"I'll stay and stand watch," Hoseok says, dancing his fingertips over the handle of the shotgun. 

"Me too," Jeongguk slurs, and you feel the urge to insist that he does not. 

Jimin turns and pulls a ring of keys from his pocket and uses several to open the various locks. Then he opens the door wide, holding it for you to approach and step inside. Namjoon begins to follow suit, for which you are thankful, and he looks over his shoulder to say, "Yoongi. You should join us."

Yoongi takes two steps toward the building, and the sounds of heels loudly clacking against concrete can be heard, pulling everyone's attention. You look up to find the person approaching is the same lady who commented on your engagement ring at the casino restroom, and she is coming from beside the building to the right of the one that had just been on fire. 

The woman has changed from the blood-red evening gown to what appears to be an equally blood-red leather bikini top and denim mini skirt. Her hair is down, hanging to her breasts, and it looks wet, as if she were among the flames as they were being put out. 

"Now, now, gentlemen," the woman calls from across the street. "Retreating so soon?"

"Hyungseo," Yoongi calls, crossing his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here?"

The woman, who you surmise is called Hyungseo, walks across the street, swinging her arms loosely to her sides as if to a song that nobody can hear. As she gets closer, you can see that her makeup is smeared in black smudges, and there is a somewhat crazed look in her eyes. 

She pouts as she approaches Yoongi, fixing him with a curious stare. In her heels, she is nearly as tall as he is, but there is an intimidating aura to her otherwise lithe frame that makes her presence feel gigantic. 

"I come on behalf of my team, asking for a truce."

"Your team?" Yoongi scoffs, cocking his head. "What team?"

"Didn't you hear? Your pretty little ex has stepped down."

At this, Yoongi and all the other men straighten their posture. Yoongi is the first to respond, asking, "She what?"

Under his breath, Taehyung mutters, "So the whispers are true."

The smile that graces Hyungseo's lips is sharp and devious, and she glances around at all ten of you, then back to Yoongi. "You're outnumbered," she drawls in a teasing tone, elongating each syllable as she cocks her head slowly. 

"What kind of truce? What do we care if that building is burnt?" Yoongi asks. 

"That building," Hyungseo somewhat mumbles, rolling her head listlessly to the side to glance at it, "belongs to a very powerful woman who will no doubt have your head on a pike when she finds out you burnt it down."

"We didn't burn it down," Namjoon responds angrily.

Hyungseo shrugs. "Sure you did. And she is going to be very confused as to why you did, considering you so generously high-balled her for ownership of one of your less flashy hotels."

"Go on," Yoongi says with a sigh.

"You see," Hyungseo continues, "Lady Choi is very well-connected and has family in our organization. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to buy a hotel in Seoul in order to keep an eye on you guys. A keep-your-enemies-closer kind of situation, if you will."

"So she owns some shitty, vacant buildings, and you set fire to one of them to frame us?" Seokjin asks with a laugh in his tone. "You realize this building is covered with security cameras, and that your little ruse will be easily discredited."

Hyungseo shrugs and says, "We'll see about that."

Jimin already appears to be pulling the footage up on his phone, and you watch as his brows knit. "Boss," Jimin says nervously, "this man…he looks a lot like you from behind."

"Except I was at the casino all night," Yoongi responds, rolling his eyes.

"Hmm," Hyungseo responds, "are you sure about that? Because my team noticed there was about an hour and three minutes during which you were nowhere to be found. You and your right-hand man, in fact. And how strange that this fire happened to start around the exact same time. She smirks as she adds, "Where were you, Yoongi?"

Yoongi sighs. "I was fucking my fiancé."

"Your fake fiancé," Hyungseo corrects, causing Yoongi's shoulders to square once more. "And what about Namjoon? Was he also fucking her?"

"The nature of our relationship is none of your business," Yoongi responds, to which Hyungseo holds up a hand as if telling him to stop. 

"Don't worry, darling. Ryujin has told me all about the nature of your relationship. And the thirty-seven minutes during which your pretty little whore and Jeongguk went missing before you and Namjoon disappeared? Should I not question the nature of their relationship, too?"

Jeongguk pulls his gun and cocks the hammer, filling you with fear and dread. As he lifts it level with Hyungseo's head, you gasp and squeeze your eyes closed. 

"Down, boy," Hyungseo mutters listlessly, rolling her eyes. "No need to get so defensive."

"I think we've heard quite enough," Yoongi says, holding out a hand to Jeongguk and lowering it. Jeongguk follows the command and drops his arm down, pointing the barrel of his gun to the ground.

"So…" Hyungseo drawls, appearing bored. "Truce?"

"Fuck your truce," Yoongi responds sharply. "You're just trying to frame me, and I am not playing your games; we can arrange a meeting with Lady Choi and settle this like adults. She happily set the price she wanted for the hotel, but I can always give her more. And I can buy that burnt mess your team made if it assuages her worries. Regardless of the so-called family she has on your side, she and my mother were old friends; I'm not afraid of her or of you."

"Hmm, I'm afraid we can't do it that way," Hyungseo says as she scratches her head and begins to walk backward to the street. "Lady Choi may have had an allegiance with your family back in the day, but now your mommy and daddy are dead. She could give a fuck about the Min runt—her words, not mine."

Jeongguk lifts his gun again, and this time, a shot is fired from across the street, appearing to narrowly miss him as he ducks out of the way. You gasp, feeling terror take over so abruptly that your legs tremble and you nearly fall, gun gripped uselessly in your fist.

Everyone but Jimin reaches for the guns they have holstered just as another shot is fired and the men begin to scatter, taking cover. You run into Paradise, making way for Jimin, but he hesitates by the door, calling for Yoongi, who rounds the corner into the alley. 

Men charge from around the burnt building across the street, and although it is safe to say your men are outnumbered, if this really is everyone, it is not by a lot. Still, fear quakes through you, and you nearly sink to the floor, holding the door cracked open.

"Jimin!" you whisper-shout until he finally snaps out of his daze and enters the building, closing the door tightly behind him. 

"What the fuck are they doing?" Jimin mutters, trembling fearfully. "Why didn't any of those idiots take cover inside?"

A fist pounds on the door, causing you to scream. From outside you hear, "It's Kyun. Let me in." 

Jimin holds his gun up with a shaking fist and cracks the door, then steps back, pulling it open wide. 

"You two retreat," Changkyun instructs. "I'll watch this door. Is there an alley door you can watch in case the men try to enter from there?"

"Yes," Jimin says, nodding his head somewhat maniacally with a distant look in his eye. "I can go to the back door."

Jimin turns and runs toward the back exit, and you stand in place, unsure whether you could will your legs to move if you wanted to. Despite calling it the back exit, it is along the nearby left wall, just past the main floor.

Gunfire is heard outside, along with shouting. You walk to the left wall and stand with your back against it, attempting to take deep breaths. Each exhale comes out in a sob as tears begin to pour. You cannot fathom anything happening to one of these men, and the prospect is horrifying. 

Changkyun opens the door, and you watch with wide, horrified eyes as he rapidly fires bullets through the crack, then slams the door shut. Some shots from outside are much louder than others, making you flinch and jump with each sound. Gunfire rages on, causing tears to spill as your shoulders are held high and tense around your ears, making them ache. 

And then, suddenly, it is quiet. 

"Do not open this door for anyone," Changkyun instructs. "I am going to get the men back into their armored vehicles and return for you." 

"Okay," you mutter softly, nodding. 

"Lock it behind me and then get away from it, just in case. Everything is armored, but the walls are safest."

You nod some more, humming in understanding. Changkyun exits, and you shuffle over quickly to turn all five locks, then back away before turning toward the back exit. 

Each breath you take is loud in the large, empty building. You turn to locate Jimin, who should be standing near the back exit, and fear spikes when you do not see him. Had he gone outside? You feel a pull to go investigate but stand still, eyes wide and staring toward the closed door. 

And then, it flings open, and you watch as a man you have never seen before comes charging in, weapon drawn. You begin to back up but hit the wall, and he spots you, lifting his weapon. 

Panic pulsates through you, and you lift your gun far slower than you should to defend yourself. The man smirks and opens his mouth to speak when suddenly his head jerks to the left and explodes, sending blood and brain matter flying against the hardwood floor and a nearby round wooden table. You scream at the top of your lungs and fall against the wall, sliding to the floor as Hoseok steps in, shotgun still lifted. 

"We gotta get out of here!" Hoseok shouts, but try as you might, you cannot lift yourself from the floor, and you shake your head, feeling your body tremble so hard it makes your head ache.

"Sweetheart," Namjoon's voice calls. You search for him, but the edges of your vision are black, and all you are able to make out is a form of black that is vaguely human-shaped approaching in the dim room. "Come on. We gotta go."

Strong arms lift you, and you scream, struggling to comprehend anything but horrific fear. You are stood onto your feet and hugged tightly. Slowly, the scent of Namjoon's cologne comes to the forefront, but so does the brassy scent of blood, making your guts churn. 

With Namjoon's help, you begin to walk, and as you step past the man who has painted the floor red with his blood, you close your eyes tight. Cool night air hits you and snaps you harshly back to reality. You have to swallow down the urge to vomit, shivering violently in your scant evening gown, feeling sweat that has pooled beneath the thick vest start to cool.

"Jimin, just get into our trunk," you hear Yoongi insist, and you gasp happily at the sound of his voice. 

"Fine," Jimin sighs. "I don't want to walk back to our car, anyway."

Bodies litter the street, sidewalk, and alleyway of men dressed in black and holding guns. On the hands of those you can see is a tattoo of a black dagger, the tip of which is red, dripping with a single drop of blood. You wonder if they belong to a gang that marks all their participants in this manner. 

The trunk of the sedan is opened, and Jimin rounds the vehicle to get inside. Just then, Seokjin pulls up in his vehicle, and Hoseok runs over, jumping into the front seat. Jimin hesitates and must decide that, since his ride is here, he will just get in with them, because he closes the trunk and takes off running toward the vehicle. 

Jimin reaches the sidewalk and abruptly turns to the left, pulling his hands over his head and ducking. Hoseok shouts, "Fuck!" as he flings his car door open, but he is too slow. You hear a gun fire just as Jimin jerks and then crumbles, hitting the pavement. You are so filled with rage and fear that you begin to run toward Jimin. 

All you can hear is your own heart pounding in your ears as you turn the corner and find a man standing with his gun lifted. Hoseok and Seokjin stand from the open vehicle doors and raise their weapons, and you do the same. 

In a flash, every ounce of fear in your body transforms into anger, hate, and adrenaline. The world seems to screech to a halt as you pull the trigger in tandem with the other two and shoot. The man whose smoking gun points to you—to where Jimin stood—falls back, crashing to asphalt seconds after his brains splatter, and you advance, unconcerned about your surroundings. 

Voices shout around you, and you fire one more shot into the man’s head, which lurches uselessly from the ground and then crashes back with a squelch of blood and brain matter. And then another shot, walking until you are straddling his ribs with your ballet flats, firing again, turning his head into bone and sinew mush. Again and again, until click, click, click, your gun is out of bullets, and you scream bloody murder—enraged, as if one more bullet wound will undo the harm this battered corpse has caused. 

You raise your arm high in the air, intent to smash the butt of your gun into what is left of his face, but are stopped by a strong, immovable force. You hardly register the solid, warm arms that wrap around you, and as you are pulled from the man, you kick your legs and scream, furious with the world. Your heart continues to pound dizzying and loud, and you are certain that you would rip every last man to shreds with your bare hands if you could—god, if only you could. 

Incensed screams rip from your chest as you are dragged backward, feet hitting the asphalt, unable to keep up with the movement. The scent of flowers and springtime greets your nose in waves, bringing Namjoon’s calming voice into the forefront for only a moment, though you cannot, for the life of you, make out what he is saying; shouting and the overwhelming scent of blood takes over too strongly, tugging you between heaven and hell. 

In a surge of anger, you reach for the switchblade at your thigh, grip onto the handle, and pull it free. You know that the man is dead—there is nothing recognizable left of his face—but the urge to slice him open and tear out his insides is palpable and unforgiving. You will not be satisfied until his bleeding fucking heart is in your fist. 

Namjoon's grip on you loosens, and he shouts something incomprehensible as you attempt to lunge forward, only to be caught again in his grasp. You press the small lever on the side of the knife as hands reach for your weapon, and in a fit of panic and rage, you flail your arm, desperate to keep a tight hold of the knife and continue on to your battered target. 

And then, things blur and slow down. Your arm is yanked back, and as you rip it forward again, you feel the knife catch, but you are too caught up in the movement that you do not stop—all you can comprehend is blinding rage at the man whose brains are splattered on the ground. Screams and shouts are deafening, and although you can make out certain words—Yoongi…face…blood—nothing fully makes sense. 

The knife is ripped from your hand at the same time the arms around you release, and when you turn to scream at Namjoon for keeping you from attacking the man whose bullet stole something precious and sacred from you, you find Yoongi standing a foot away, hands up to his face, with blood seeping from between his fingers. 

"Sweetheart, don't—" Namjoon begins, blocking your view with his arms held out around your sides. But you are frantic, and you do not understand what has just happened; how the fuck is Yoongi injured?

Taehyung wraps an arm around Yoongi and spins him, ushering him away to a sedan, and you panic, desperate to go with him. Faintly, you think you see Jimin on some kind of stretcher with his neck and head braced, and you wonder where that came from. Did Taehyung have something like that handy? Can it actually fit in one of the vehicles? 

The fighting all around you was so chaotic that now, even as it seems to be over, your adrenaline is too high for anything to make clear and perfect sense; no sound registers and every light trails in a dizzying spell before your eyes. 

"Yoongi!" you scream, and Namjoon holds you tighter, keeping you from the one other person you need to be with the most. You scream, "Let go of me, fucking let go of me!" attempting to claw Namjoon's arms away from your middle as Yoongi is helped by Hoseok into the back of the same large black vehicle that Seokjin and Taehyung are lifting Jimin into the back of. 

Jeongguk steps in front of you, face stern and streaked with tears, and he firmly—roughly—grabs onto your shoulders, gritting his teeth as he holds you steady.

"You've done enough," he says sharply, piercing into your heart, and hot streaks pour down your face and cloud your vision as you fail to make sense of what the fuck is happening. 

"Yoongi—" you mutter, jaw clattering as your body trembles in the cool night air, shaking your head and getting onto your toes in an attempt to see over Jeongguk's shoulder. "What happened, where is he going? I need to go with him, please, I need to go with him!"

"You need to calm the fuck down and breathe," Jeongguk retaliates angrily.

"Jeongguk, what happened?" you ask, quaking with adrenaline and searching his face for answers. His anger is understandable, but you cannot figure out why it seems to be directed at you.

Behind him, Namjoon's face falls to his hands, and gripped tightly in his fist, pointing outward, is your open switchblade. 

"Namjoon," you whisper, finding your voice wrecked and unable to project. 

"Let's get you into this vehicle," Jeongguk sternly says, steering you toward Seokjin's sedan. 

"But they—" you begin, watching as Namjoon walks away and climbs into the very back of Taehyung's vehicle. The seats appear to be down, and Yoongi is sitting beside Jimin's stretcher with his head tilted upward, holding something over his face. 

"They have to receive medical attention," Jeongguk says. "And you need to go with Seokjin hyung."

Changkyun and the other man are in the back seat of Seokjin's vehicle, and Hoseok sits staring ahead as Jeongguk ushers you into the one empty seat, behind Hoseok. 

"You're—" you begin to ask, and Jeongguk interrupts, saying, "I'm going with them," before slamming your door shut and walking back to Taehyung's vehicle. 

You attempt to open the door, but the handle moves uselessly, keeping you trapped inside. 

"Seat belts!" Seokjin sing-songs with a hint of exhaustion in his tone. 

"What happened to Yoongi?" you ask, frantically watching Seokjin, who glances into the rearview mirror with a frown. 

"What do you remember about everything that just transpired?"

Searching your memory, you shake your head. It all happened so fast, and Yoongi was behind you, so there was no way to see how he was injured.

"After we sh-shot…" you stammer, unable to finish the sentence, "I pulled out my knife to stab…" you trail off once more and squeeze your eyes closed, realizing now how ridiculous it is that you wanted to continue attacking a man who was already dead. When you open your eyes, Seokjin is still frowning, eyes on you through the rearview mirror. "And then Namjoon took my knife away. So then…what happened to Yoongi?"

Seokjin continues to watch you for just a moment, then he sighs with a light shake of his head, turning his gaze from you to the road. 

And you want to demand answers, but when he puts the vehicle in drive, the words die on your tongue. But you still do not understand, and you spiral, asking the same questions over and over. How could Yoongi have gotten injured? What could have happened to him?

"Seems you got a little carried away and don't fully remember everything," Hoseok says from the passenger seat directly in front of you. "It happens, especially during emotionally intense situations like this. Let's get you home and prioritize the others getting taken care of, and then we will all touch base with what happened." 

"Wh-what do you mean by got a little carried away?" you ask, shaken.

Hoseok hums and responds simply, "The rage you seemed to experience, shooting the man repeatedly despite him already being dead and then attempting to turn the brunt of the weapon on him, followed by pulling out your knife…it was a very irrational but very typical drive to continue punishing the man for what he had done." There is a chuckle on his voice as he adds, "I remember my first blind rage."

"Me too," Seokjin responds calmly, eyes on the road.

The unnamed security guard hums mmhmm as Changkyun says, "Me too."

Your eyes well with tears as you attempt to recount everything, but you only remember it in fragments. Jimin crumpling to the ground, you running and lifting your gun, Namjoon lifting you kicking and screaming, and, finally, Yoongi bleeding. 

"I don't…fully remember…" you mutter, eyes unfocused on the black leather seat ahead of you. 

"Although we do not recommend charging into battle around a corner like that, you may have saved me," Hoseok says with a chipper tone. "My shotgun was empty, and I had been reaching into the glovebox for another gun, but you were quicker on your feet than I was with my hands."

"You only had one gun?" Seokjin asks, turning briefly to Hoseok before looking ahead at the road.

"I know," Hoseok responds with a laugh. "Uncharacteristic, huh? I came out with a glock on my thigh but gave it to Namjoon mid-fight when his clip ran out. Seems none of us were fully anticipating what was to come."

"For once, I had no insider news," Seokjin laments, and you think you hear a pout in his tone. "I miss having someone on the inside."

Although you are sure Seokjin means no offense, there is a very blasé manner in which he seems to be mentioning the death of Hyunjin that makes you stiffen—makes your stomach churn. 

Conversation dies down, and you close your eyes with your head tilted against the window. And suddenly, you are coming over the hill with the mansions in view. Yoongi's home has its lights out—save for the security lights outside—and there are no vehicles in the drive. You assume that everyone is at Taehyung's place, and the thought of going home to Yoongi's cold, empty bedroom is daunting. 

"Would you like to come with us for the time being?" Seokjin asks, and it takes a few seconds for his words to sink in. You glance up with a start. "I'm not sure how long the others will be, but we have a spare bed you can rest in."

"Or you can attempt to distract yourself with some television," Hoseok suggests.

You nod, unsure whether either of these options sound good, but eager to do anything but return home alone. "Alright," you mutter, swallowing down the overwhelming urge to cry.

"We'll make some hot cocoa and give you a change of clothing," Seokjin recommends, and you nod listlessly, heavy-blinking.

With a sigh, you stare out as Seokjin pulls into the very start of Yoongi's driveway and does a u-turn. Although you have never been to their home, you remember Namjoon telling you that it is on the opposite side as his, meaning their driveway would have been before Yoongi's. And, sure enough, when they pull into the driveway, past the loud metal gate, it is nearly a picture-perfect replica of Namjoon's home.

Hoseok is gentle as he guides you out of the sedan to his front door while Seokjin walks ahead and unlocks it. Although you are surprised by how gelatinous your bones seem to have become, Hoseok appears to have anticipated it, holding you steady. 

Their home decor is nothing like you would have imagined, and you wonder what Victorian-age vampire prince decorated. Everything is crushed velvet with hand-carved accents and gold leaf. The wainscoted walls are littered with paintings and sconces, and everything is dark wood with upholstery in shades of forest green and deep burgundy. 

Hoseok runs up the stairs two at a time and quickly returns with a set of black pajamas—a button-down shirt and pants. You change in the guest bathroom, which is all gold and black marble, then return to the living room to the smell of hot chocolate and find Hoseok on the nearby chaise clicking through streaming services. 

It is not long before you curl up and fall asleep to the soft sounds of low chattering while some drama you have never heard of plays in the background. Twice you wake up screaming to the sight of watching a man's head explode before giving up on sleep and continuing to watch TV while the sun slowly begins to rise.

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

i'll keep it a secret 비밀로 할게

your corruption and sin 네 부정과 죄

reveal everything 전부 드러내

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

friendly reminder: there is no major character death tag!!!

only 3 chapters left 😬😬😬 how are we feeling??? everything is going to spiral to the end, and then there will be a sequel (i know i say this a lot but it seems i need to remind some!!! this is not the end the end, but we are building to an end.)

if you would like a laugh, while searching for an ot7 pic that includes yoongi with long hair, the only one i really found with everyone's hair almost correct (jk and sj aren't quite accurate) all i could find was this years festa pics:

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

imagine the collateral family men in pastels hehe.

also, yoongi wore this outfit to Paradise:

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

woof woof bark bark bark imagine him in this fit with his long hair and current muscle bulk.

anywayyyyyyyyy thank you so much for reading!!! comments and reblogs make the world go 'round!!! and likes are appreciated!!! stay hydrated, i love you!!!

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they've gotten too big to contain as one!

Collateral 19: The Only Lifestyle I Have Ever Known

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Collateral is copyright 2022-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved.

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More Posts from Agustdsciggy

1 year ago

I can’t and won’t short change my emotions when it came to this chapter. I cried. I cried happy tears, I cried sad tears…when I yelled at you on discord it was after I read like A paragraph. LITTLE DID I KNOW. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! YOONGI!!!!!

I Cant And Wont Short Change My Emotions When It Came To This Chapter. I Cried. I Cried Happy Tears,

but oh…Jimin being back to soothe her felt so right. it couldn’t have been anyone else but……I’m scared. I’m so scared right now and I know I should be. It was going so well 🥲 We should all know by now if Harrow makes us feel an amazing high we are going to be knocked flat on our asses into a puddle of our own tears (& arousal) shortly after.

Collateral 🗡️ 16: Sometimes important decisions—ones that we know we have to make—still hurt like hell

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon 🗡️ word count: 9.2k 🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, minor character death, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ chapter warnings: smut (oral sex, use of "whore", multiple orgasms, "love making" lolol), heroin use (the scene is not too detailed, and it happens rather quickly, but it may be hard for some readers), panic attack & freaking out, recreational use of prescription pills.

🗡️ note: hard drug use and addiction can be tricky things to comprehend and navigate, especially from an outside perspective. the things mc thinks and feels are valid parts of the process but do not necessarily reflect how i feel about drug use and addiction. please proceed with caution if this is a topic that is difficult to read. this will be something that carries on through many chapters, and it will be a battle these characters have to figure out, so things may be messy. please trust in the process and take care of yourself! i love you!

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin!

🗡️ posted on may 2023 | read on ao3

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell
Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

The feeling of your thighs being spread is what begins to pull you from sleep. There is an unfamiliar smell to the room—starchy and sweet—but the musk that hits you is one you are well acquainted with. Lips graze over your neck, up to your jaw, and you smile, feeling the final dredges of sleep wash away as Namjoon groans softly against your skin.

Two warm hands spread your legs further, and as you bend at the knees and arch your back in a stretch, you become aware of the comforter moving and a body settling at your feet. Lips and teeth nip at your inner thigh, tickling and sending a tingle of arousal through you, and you blink awake, looking up at the ceiling before lifting the dark blue blanket and finding Yoongi's messy dark hair covering his face, except for his wide smile, which greets you.

"What do you two think you're doing?" you ask, voice raspy from sleep. 

Namjoon's lips move down to your shoulder and trail back to your neck, causing you to gasp as he sucks on particularly sensitive spots. 

"Figured I can't bring you all the way to Hong Kong without taking you to Hong Kong," Yoongi drawls, dragging his teeth over your skin, dangerously close to where you want him most. All you wear is a thin pair of black panties, which Yoongi wastes no time pushing out of the way. 

Warm breath ghosts over you, and you watch as the mess of dark brown hair centers between your legs, eager to feel his mouth. With two fingers, Yoongi spreads your lips, then he licks a slow stripe up to your clit, swirling his tongue over the bud and sending a shiver through you that has your back bowing off the bed. 

"Oh, fuck," you mutter, still tired enough that your body feels suspended somewhere between the waking world and the clouds—a liminal space of sleepy bliss. 

Namjoon's lips and teeth continue to tease, then he adjusts, getting onto his knees as he hovers over you to kiss down the center of your chest and take one nipple into his mouth after the other. The ends of Namjoon's hair dance over your skin, and they tickle. That, paired with the languid, firm strokes of Yoongi's tongue against your cunt, cause goosebumps to break over your skin, making you sensitive to every little touch. 

You lift your hands over your head and drape your arms over the pillow, closing your eyes as you sigh into the pleasure, sinking down into the mattress as two sets of lips send you up into the heavens. There is a part of you that wants to insist Namjoon crawls a little closer and slowly, gently fucks your face, but you decide to bask a little in this attention, first. 

Yoongi's mouth is glorious, and he picks up the pace, lapping and sucking at your clit, making lewd, loud sounds. Your body trembles and flinches with every stroke of his tongue, and as your moans become louder and breathier, you hear him chuckle against you.

"Don't say it," you moan, feeling warmth rise to your cheeks while pleasure bursts and blooms throughout you. 

Namjoon continues lower, nibbling your hip bone and causing you to gasp and giggle, then he asks, "Say what?"

"That she cums too easily," Yoongi grumbles against you, just barely intelligible.

"So mean," you pout, feeling your high climb and climb as Namjoon lowers himself further, disappearing beneath the comforter before yanking it away entirely.

You shiver and attempt to curl into yourself for warmth, but Namjoon takes your leg and slings it over his shoulder while he settles beside Yoongi, nipping at your thigh. 

"What a beautiful cunt," Namjoon groans against you, filling you with the urge to laugh.

"Shut up," you complain, too tired and far too close to orgasm for him to be teasing you.

"I mean it," he continues, kissing down your leg until Yoongi's lips leave you, and Namjoon hovers close. "I could worship this pretty pussy all day."

"So then do it," you whine, desperate for one of them to continue eating you out, already feeling impatient with the lack of lips and tongue against you.

You hear them kiss before you open your eyes and find them hovering close to you while Namjoon licks over Yoongi's lips and chin like a man starved—licking traces of you off his face. The sight makes you feral, and you let out a whiny groan, feeling equal parts horny and petulant. 

With a needy whimper of, "Daddy, please," you use your foot to attempt to pull Namjoon toward you, hoping he will get the hint. 

Namjoon, however, is a demon sent straight from hell, and he fixes you with a dark, evil grin and asks, "My, aren't we a greedy little whore this morning?"

"Wh—" you begin to whine, but Yoongi presses a finger to his lips and shushes you.

Your mouth falls open but silent, and you fix Yoongi with a desperate, incredulous stare before pouting. It does not work.

"Only good girls get to cum," Yoongi says as he drops his finger from his mouth and leaves featherlight touches over your labia, sending impatient shivers through you. He lifts an eyebrow and adds, "You have to be a good girl."

"I am a good girl, sir," you whine softly, and Yoongi has the audacity to chuckle.

"Are you sure?" Namjoon teases, leaning closer to your cunt, stirring up a frenzy of emotions. 

"Yes, daddy. I'm positive. Please."

Namjoon sinks lower until only his eyes and forehead are visible, keeping his devious glare fixed on you. And Yoongi, the devil that he is, kisses your inner thigh, delicate and ticklish until you begin to squirm, then he sucks on the skin hard enough to make you yelp. Yoongi alternates sucking and nipping hard enough to hurt, and you fight the urge to flail around, groaning and gasping each time he lets up and continues again in a new spot. The pleasure-pain is dizzying, and you almost beg him to stop, but then Namjoon's tongue finds your clit and laps over you, causing your back to arch and each sound to die in your throat. 

Orgasm builds and crashes so fast you do not feel it coming, and you claw at the mattress as two sets of lips and tongues push you past the point of sanity. Namjoon licks broad stripes and circles over you, and Yoongi teases the sensitive skin on your inner thigh, all the while you gasp and moan and whimper, legs shaking uncontrollably as overwhelming pleasure pours over you in waves and waves.

Between sucks and licks, Yoongi teases, "So…fucking…easy," then his lips replace Namjoon's on your cunt, pulling the last of your orgasm from you while already building the next one, filling you with pleasure so intense you nearly beg them to stop. 

"Too bad we can't make a mess of this bed," Namjoon groans as fingertips tease your entrance, stroking over you as if petting a soft animal. "Don't want poor Taehyungie to accrue a bunch of cleaning fees."

Clarity washes over you, pulling you back to the present moment, and you remember that this unfamiliar starchy-sweet bedding and spackled white ceiling in Hong Kong are all attached to the suite that Taehyung and Jeongguk are staying in. Suddenly, you feel embarrassed that the two of them may be able to hear you, and your legs start to squeeze shut. 

Two long, thick fingers enter your wet heat, and you attempt to scramble back, digging your heels into the mattress as you mutter, "Wait," frantically. 

"What is it, darling?" Yoongi asks sweetly while holding you in place, not allowing you to escape the slow, intoxicating motions of Namjoon's hand. You consider calling your safe word, but the feeling so good, you cannot seem to bring yourself to.

"What if they hear us?" you ask weakly, reaching for the comforter in hopes of pulling it over your sweat-covered body despite Taehyung and Jeongguk being unable to see through walls. 

At this, Namjoon begins to finger hard and fast, and you freeze and tremble with your back bowed slightly from the bed, attempting to become distracted by the ensnaring bliss of his fingers while Yoongi gently nips at your skin. 

"Isn't that what you want, darling?" Yoongi teases, making you feel shy.

"No," you mewl, shaking your head frantically a few times while Namjoon rubs the sweet spot inside you that makes you see stars. 

"We could bring Jeonggukie in here for you right now, if you want," Namjoon offers as his lips trail up your thigh.

"I bet he would love to see you sprawled out while two men make you cum," Yoongi adds as his mouth lowers, warm breath ghosting over your pussy. 

"He would probably pout," Namjoon adds with a chuckle, "and start begging his hyungs to let him have a taste."

Before you can allow the thought of Jeongguk pouting to ricochet too much, you reach yet another orgasm, mouth hung open and silent as Namjoon's fingers press roughly into you, threatening to make you squirt. Then Yoongi laps over your cunt in firm, broad strokes, and the dam breaks, causing you to scream—frantically grabbing for a pillow and holding it over your face—while both men mercilessly drag more and more squelching release from you.

You practically beg them to stop, pulling the pillow from your face and gasping for air, when there is a loud, steady knock on the door. 

Although neither man slows, much less stops, Namjoon yells, "Yes," before letting out a soft laugh. 

Warmth floods your cheeks, making you wish you could disappear completely, and you pull the pillow back over your face. 

"You're being just a little too loud, hyungs," Taehyung calls from the other side of the door, making you cringe. "Especially you, buttercup," he adds, and you completely snap. 

"No more," you beg, throwing the pillow aside and scrambling away from insistent hands and mouths.  "Sakura!" 

Yoongi and Namjoon laugh, making feeble attempts to grab at you while you huddle up by the headboard and hug your knees to your chest, breathless and a little too cold for comfort. 

With sweet, dopey smiles, the two turn to one another, and Namjoon lifts his fingers that glisten with your release up to Yoongi's mouth, saying, "Be a good boy and clean these for me."

"Yes, daddy," Yoongi responds as he leans close and lets his mouth fall open, holding adoring eye contact with Namjoon, who slides his fingers over Yoongi's tongue and instructs him to suck.

As enticing as these two are, you do not want to let them get carried away in another tangle of limbs, and you reach one leg out and begin to gently poke at Yoongi's shoulder with your toes. When he does not stop sucking on Namjoon's long, thick, god-forsaken fingers, you press a little harder, wiggling him until he begins to laugh and pull away from Namjoon. 

"Don't we have another flight today?" you ask sweetly when Yoongi gives you a playful yet incredulous glare. 

"We do," Yoongi responds with a grin as he turns to you and begins to crawl naked on his hands and knees. "But we can leave any time, darling. We're on nobody's schedule but our own."

Petulant and a little embarrassed, you move your foot to Yoongi's shoulder, against his clavicle, and press a little hard, desperate to keep him and his magic tongue the fuck away from you. 

"But I want to go," you whine, jutting out your bottom lip. "I've never been on a real vacation before and I want to see where you plan to take me."

As if snapped from some kind of trance, Yoongi's smile falls and the joy in his eyes deepens to sadness. You know that the cogs in his brain are turning, telling him that you grew up in a loveless situation, sold off by your parents at too young of an age to fully understand what was happening. Sure, you have traveled the world while in the various trafficking rings, but never have you had the chance to see it and enjoy it.

Yoongi continues to advance, but rather than attempt to sway you into anything sexual, he crawls on his knees and flops down at your side, wrapping his arms around you.

"I'll show you the world, darling," Yoongi mutters as he nuzzles his face into your side, causing butterflies to stir in your tummy. 

All you can do is wrap your arms loosely over his shoulders and return his hugs. Moments like these, when Yoongi is tender and sweet, you think you could withstand his nonsense every day. Sitting in the center of the bed, Namjoon's shoulders are slumped forward, eyes zoned out on some spot ahead, as far as you can tell. 

"You too, Joonbug," you say as you attempt to hold your arms out. 

Namjoon glances up and smiles softly, cheeks creasing ever so gently with dimples as he makes his way over on his knees. The added weight of his body draping over Yoongi's back pulls you downward uncomfortably, and you groan as you try to get into a more relaxed position beneath them.

This is good, you think. The two of them, just like this. This feels like home. 

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

Growing up, during the rare event that you were allowed to watch a movie or an episode of television, you frequently saw a protagonist gaze out the window of a moving car or an airplane with a look in their eye that suggested nothing in life could possibly be better than that moment, right there. 

You always thought moments like those were reserved for the screen, only. You always thought those moments would be too fantastical for you. 

So when you stare from the window of Yoongi’s private jet as it descends over France, your heart feels as if it might burst behind your ribs. Tears form in your eyes, and you attempt to blink them away, but the wave of happiness is so intense and so good that you end up bringing a hand to your cheek to attempt covertly wiping away the evidence of your flooding emotions. 

“Happy, darling?” Yoongi asks, rubbing the backs of two fingers along your cheek, narrowly avoiding a fallen tear. Of course, you can never get anything past Yoongi. 

You nod and turn to him, attempting to hold in the surge of joy, but as soon as you meet his dark brown eyes and soft, tender smile, the tears build quickly, and you sniffle on your inhale, feeling shy enough to chuckle. 

“Yoongi, you—“ you have no idea what this means to me, you think, words choked on a sob. You have no idea what you mean to me. “Thank you.”

“It was a long time coming,” Yoongi responds, looking away as his blushing cheeks betray his attempt at being humble. “You deserve to be given the world. And a proper vacation is just what we need, right now.”

You turn back to the right, gazing out the window as the scenery begins to level and grow and move much faster than it seemed to move while you were still in the air. Your tummy does a flip, and you turn back to Yoongi, too nervous to watch the moment the wheels touch down on the tarmac. 

Yoongi’s hair is tucked behind his ears and he wears a simple yet elegant outfit—a tan blazer over a beige silk shirt, tucked into tan slacks. The hints of blush on his cheeks appear much softer, and all of his sharp features seem more delicate in contrast with the lighter colors versus his standard black. You take in his pretty dark eyes and soft rose-petal lips, feeling the sudden, overwhelming urge to tell him you love him. And when you open your mouth to speak, the plane touches down, making you gasp and yelp, stealing the words from your lips until all you can do is laugh. 

To the left, past Yoongi on the other side of the small aisle, Namjoon snores loudly enough to startle himself awake, and he groans a confused sound as he sits up quickly, blinking heavily from sleep. You laugh even louder, burying your face into Yoongi’s side while Namjoon grumbles and stretches; he slept nearly the entire thirteen-hour flight. You dozed a little off and on, but you were so excited, you watched out the window as you traveled through the time zones, extending nighttime impossibly long, daydreaming above the clouds. 

Rather than dissipate, the affectionate feelings only swell, nearly suffocating you on the desire to voice them, but you swallow it down. Is this the right time and place? Here, on an airplane? While Namjoon is wiping his own drool from his chin and Yoongi is laughing—would be doubled over entirely if you were not holding onto him for dear life and wiping your own happy tears from your eyes? Sure, this feels like a time that encapsulates love, but to say it to the two of them for the first time? You would rather dwell on it and continue to spiral a little more, instead.  

As a male staff member clad in black opens the large metal door leading out of the plane and checks on something—you cannot tell what—you begin to feel a nervous excitement wash over you. Namjoon gets up first, head to toe in black cotton, stretching with groan after groan, yawning loudly, and Yoongi follows behind, gently pushing Namjoon by the butt to get him walking toward the exit while his shoulders continue to rise and fall with amusement. The sight of the wound on Yoongi's hand catches your eye—a streak of pink slashed from his thumb to his wrist—causing more emotion to build as you remember that horrible night when he was shot. 

Blinking back the myriad emotions, you undo your seatbelt and follow suit, stretching your stiff legs and getting onto your feet as you hobble toward the exit, where Yoongi waits for you to go first, then out of the airplane and into a cool Paris late-afternoon. 

The soft material of Yoongi's tan blazer drapes over your shoulders before you have a chance to shiver, and you grip onto it tightly with both hands and hug it closed, smiling to yourself as the affection in your chest only grows. You walk down the short set of aluminum steps, and before your feet can hit the ground, Namjoon reaches a hand and takes your right elbow, guiding you gently to your destination. 

"Are you hungry, darling?" Yoongi asks as an arm wraps around you from the left, and Yoongi's warmth and sweet musk further engulfs you.

You are hungry, and the moment the thought of food crosses your mind, your stomach whines in response. With a nod, you lean your head toward Yoongi and mutter, "I could eat."

"Mind if we stop at the hotel first?" Namjoon asks. "I want to change and brush my teeth before we go anywhere."

You laugh more thinking about Namjoon snore-startling himself awake and nod again, this time leaning toward Namjoon's warmth.

"I would like to change, too," you say, having worn a tee and joggers for the flight. Especially with Yoongi looking so put together, you want to at least slip into a nice evening gown. Too bad Jimin is not around to do your makeup for you.

"The hotel has fantastic room service, but I want to take you out onto the town," Yoongi begins as the three of you approach a sleek black sports car, and a man clad in all black hands Yoongi a set of keys. "How about I order us some appetizers so the two of you can take your time, and that will give me time to wiggle us into a nice, impossible-to-get reservation?"

"Sounds perfect," you respond with a smile, feeling a strong swell of affection as Yoongi's embrace slides away and Namjoon leads you around to the other side of the car. 

It feels like it has been ages since you have sat in the front seat of a vehicle, and you almost do not accept, suggesting Namjoon and his long legs take the seat, instead. But he insists, standing his ground firmly while gently shoving you toward the open door, only relenting when you huff out a sigh and duck into the car, plopping down on the warm leather and marveling at the fuschia-lit interior. 

"Porsche Panamera," Yoongi mutters as he drags his fingertips up and down the curves of the steering wheel with a grin. "Always wanted one of these, but it's too flashy for me to drive back home."

The last time you sat front seat was in Namjoon's Porsche, and you smile to yourself, remembering the fateful day when you demanded to be taken for ice cream, only for your relationship to evolve into something more. Yoongi starts the ignition, and you buckle your seatbelt before sinking back into the seat and glancing out the window, eager for what lies ahead. He drives from the airport without the use of a device to tell him where to go, and as he takes each turn and stop with practiced ease, you wonder just how many times he has been here before. 

Paris is just as it is in the movies; tan stone buildings adorned with wrought-iron balconies, and decorative lamp posts lining the streets. There is a beautiful blend of old and new, with buildings that appear to have rich histories attached to them. 

Yoongi pulls up to a tall stone building that wraps delicately around the street corner, showcasing intricate balconies lining each window, and beautiful stone arches on the ground level. As he shuts off the ignition, you do a double-take, glancing from Yoongi to the elegant building to your right. 

"We're here," he sing-songs as he opens the door and gets out, and you pause, only snapping from your reverie when your door opens and you find Namjoon smiling sweetly. Everything about this scene feels like a dream, and you half expect to wake up and find yourself still sitting on the airplane above the clouds. 

Yoongi tosses his keys to a valet driver, mutters something to him in French, then approaches the trunk of the car to retrieve your suitcases. At some point, a staff member must have placed them in there for you. You approach and reach for yours, but Yoongi shoves it toward Namjoon the moment its wheels are on concrete, and Namjoon expands the handle and holds firmly, making sure you do not dare try to take it from him.

With a mock-petulant huff, you cross your arms over your shoulders, hugging the tan blazer that remains draped over you. Yoongi retrieves two more large black suitcases, shuts the trunk, and Namjoon grabs a second one, leading the way into the lobby. 

Although you are becoming used to extravagance from being in the presence of one of the wealthiest men in Korea, the French hotel lobby still takes you by surprise. The walls are white with gold-trimmed accent molding, large crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling, colorful crushed velvet armchairs line the walls, and large, elegant Parisian rugs cover intricate marble floors. In a way, the decor reminds you a little of home, with more lightness and splashes of color. 

Namjoon walks off to the side and stands out of the way while Yoongi approaches a gold desk, and you opt to follow Namjoon, leaving Yoongi to get things in order. Although you cannot hear him, he speaks and laughs with the concierge with a lightness you rarely see back home, and it gives you butterflies. 

"Does he speak French?" you ask, leaning to Namjoon but keeping your eyes on Yoongi, who holds steady, effortless conversation. 

"Oui, mademoiselle," Namjoon responds, causing you to gasp and turn his way. The pronunciation is surprisingly smooth, even for so few syllables, and you swoon. Namjoon chuckles and bends to look you level in the eye. "We contain multitudes, sweetheart."

"I guess so!" you respond with a giggle, suddenly curious about all the things you do not know about these men. How much more is there to discover?

An elevator with gold doors leads you to your suite on the top floor. Although the penthouse is smaller than some of the rooms you have grown accustomed to, its opulence is stunning. The decor matches that of the lobby but with cream-colored furnishings covered in delicate floral patterns. Cascading beige curtains hang over the large window which exhibits a stunning view of the Eiffel Tower past an intricate wrought-iron balcony. Bouquets of fresh flowers sit on white marble tables, and as you kick off your sneakers, the Parisian rug sinks lightly under your feet. 

"Yoongi," you mutter under your breath, dropping your hands to your sides as your feet shuffle on autopilot toward the window. No longer do you have motor control; everything feels too extravagant to be real. 

"Do you like it, darling?" Yoongi has the absolute audacity to ask. 

Rather than respond with words, when you open your mouth, all that croaks out is a mess of vowels that die in your throat. Tears cloud your vision, and you hug the tan blazer tighter around yourself, lifting your hands just enough to smell the familiar musk that comes from the garment, filling your senses with Yoongi. Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi. You lift your gaze, finding the reflection of Namjoon in the window—sweet, smart Namjoon—and your heart feels so full. 

When you finally turn, Yoongi and Namjoon stand near the doorway, watching you with sweet smiles. Namjoon's arm is draped over Yoongi's shoulders, and Yoongi has his arms crossed loosely over his chest. 

"Thank you," you mutter, tears falling as soon as both Yoongi's and Namjoon's smiles widen. 

You feel at awe with how beautiful they both are; how perfect this feels. 

Although you would love nothing more than to stay in this hotel room with the two of them and show your appreciation for this grand gesture—preferably on your knees, or perhaps on your back—you are eager to sightsee. Namjoon takes all the suitcases into the bedroom while Yoongi retrieves a bottle of champagne from a bucket of ice that had been left by hotel staff, and you approach Yoongi, wiping the tear streaks from your cheeks. 

"I don't know how you will ever top this," you tease, attempting to keep your cool despite sniffling. 

"Oh?" Yoongi asks with an amused smile, looking up from his task of carefully uncorking the bottle in his hands. 

"Should have started somewhere like New York or…I don't know…Canada, first."

This makes Yoongi chuckle, and you smile wider as his eyes scrunch into tight crescents. 

"Why on earth would I take you to Canada?" he asks, shaking his head. 

"I don't know!" you snap in your defense, "I was trying to think of less impressive places!"

Yoongi laughs harder, gripping tightly to the champagne, and you swat him on the arm; the joke was hardly that funny, you think. 

"Don't balk at Canada!" Namjoon calls from the bedroom, causing you and Yoongi to look at one another quizzically before laughing some more. 

"I mean it!" he continues, poking his head out from the room, "The aurora borealis there is supposed to be pretty incredible. I have always wanted to see one."

"We could go to Iceland for that too," Yoongi mutters, seeming to be seriously considering Namjoon's proposition. 

You would love to see the aurora borealis; in fact, you think you would go absolutely anywhere with these men. Even to Canada.

The dress Namjoon picks for you to wear to dinner makes you chuckle. It is so…cute…you almost feel like a cartoon princess sliding into it. Ordinarily, you are outfitted in dark shades—emeralds and blacks—and cascading skirts. So when you hold the sugar pink Alexander McQueen scoop neck mini dress with a polyfaille skirt showcasing an exaggerated, diagonal ruffle seam, you nibble on your lip and look to Namjoon to make sure he is serious. 

Yoongi picks a pair of shiny black platform ankle boots to go with the dress, and you opt to style your hair simply, applying minimal makeup to your eyes—just enough to make them pop—and forgo jewelry. As Namjoon zips your dress and smooths his palms over your back, you glance out the window at the Eiffel Tower, reminding yourself that you are in Paris, and you bite your lip as you smile, overcome with adoration. 

Namjoon gets dressed in a simple black raised-collar jacket with a white shirt beneath, tucked into black slacks. He styles his hair off his forehead, and he puts on burgundy leather boots, forgoing jewelry as well. 

Yoongi keeps the tan and beige outfit. His hair lies flat and long, tucked behind his ears, and he wears a gold rockstud choker low on his neck. He completes the look with beige boots and a dusting of eyeshadow that accentuates the shapes of his eyes beautifully. You can't help but stare. 

"Has anyone told you, you kind of look like a cat?" you ask as Yoongi straightens out the tan blazer that you reluctantly returned to him so you could get dressed. 

Yoongi's eyebrows raise, lips part, and he chuckles, shaking his head. Pink rises to his cheeks, and you wonder if perhaps you have hit on a sore spot. Namjoon bursting out with laughter that he had clearly been trying to hold in only confirms your suspicions. 

"Awe, really? You have been told you look like a cat?" you tease, approaching Yoongi and wrapping your arms around his waist. He pouts, looking to Namjoon over your shoulder, eyes downturned and begging to be saved, and you feel the urge to keep poking, simply because he is so precious. "I'm gonna start calling you kitten."

"You are not," Yoongi complains, but Namjoon chimes in, "Oh, I love that…our pretty kitten," adding fuel to the fire. 

With a sigh, Yoongi looks at you, brows knit and clearly trying to fight a smile. 

"Fine," he concedes. "But not in public."

Pleased, you stand on your toes and place a kiss on the apple of Yoongi's cheek, muttering, "That works for me, kitten."

"Alright," Yoongi grumbles, attempting feebly to pull from your hug, which you tighten with a giggle, "let's go get something to eat, yeah?"

"Yes, please," Namjoon sighs. All you had was champagne, finding yourselves too distracted with getting dressed to order any room service. 

"Sounds good to me, kitten," you respond, smacking one more kiss to Yoongi's cheek before letting him go, and god he looks so cute when he gets sulky.

Dinner is a blur of red wine, medium-rare meat, and perfectly seasoned vegetables—a three michelin star meal, according to Yoongi. You hardly process the dining hall that is somehow more lavish than everything else you have seen and stumble onto the street in an intoxicated haze. When Yoongi drives to the Eiffel Tower just as the sun begins to set, you pinch yourself on the arm to make sure you are, in fact, awake. 

And it is there, heart so full of emotions you feel ready to burst, nearly a thousand feet in the air, overlooking the city of love while the sun drops below the horizon, that you turn to Yoongi first, then Namjoon, with tears in your eyes, and mutter to one and then to the other, "I love you."

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

You hardly have a chance to get your boots off before Namjoon has you in his arms and is carrying you off to the bedroom with your skirt bunched at your hips and your face nuzzled into his neck. Yoongi is close behind, slipping from his boots by the door, setting the metal choker down in a gentle clatter against a marble table, and dropping his tan blazer to the floor in a light whoosh of fabric. 

These men are ravenous the second you are set down on the edge of the mattress, with Yoongi dropping to his knees between your spreading thighs while Namjoon kneels behind you, gently unzipping the dress that he rather eagerly pulls over your head and tosses aside. Sitting in only white satin panties, you lean back, anchored on your palms, hearing rather than seeing Namjoon getting undressed behind you. 

"Say it again," Yoongi instructs, eyes wide and burning into you, covering you in the heat of his stare. 

Suddenly, you feel shy and nibble on your bottle lip as the warmth crawls up your neck. You meant it when you said it, but it was so in the moment, you had not considered saying it again. 

"I—" you begin, then swallow a lump. 

Yoongi stands, gently takes your chin in both hands, and pulls you into a kiss, moaning into your mouth, which falls pliant for him to do as he pleases. 

"I love you, darling," he says against your lips, opening his eyes wide—the only thing you can see from this proximity. 

"I love you," you whisper, testing it out, liking how it sounds—how it feels, before repeating it with more conviction. "I love you, Yoongi."

You could swear he has tears in his eyes when he straightens out and begins to undress. Fingertips dance over your shoulder and neck, then lips touch your skin, tickling as hot breath ghosts over you, causing you to break into goosebumps. 

"And you, Namjoon," you mutter softly through a giggle, lifting your shoulder as a defense against his tickling. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart," Namjoon responds, soft and deep in a tone reserved just for you and Yoongi. 

For the first time, you experience what you imagine others refer to as making love. Though persistent and heated, neither Yoongi's nor Namjoon's movements are rushed. They take their time building your arousal past the breaking point, slowly and steadily pushing and pulling you over the edge, touching you like an instrument they know by heart, creating symphonies with your body and theirs. 

When you crash in a tangle of sweat, exhausted from the long trip and extravagant day, your heart feels full and your head feels clear. This is the feeling you feared the most—the knowledge that if anything took this away from you, you may surely wither and die. It has been fear that has kept you from feeling the full embrace of love, but you fall asleep with a smile, certain that, for once, you are ready to let go and allow yourself the freedom of being happy. 

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

When you wake up, Yoongi is hurriedly getting dressed in his tan and beige suit from the night before, muttering about meeting someone over a last-minute deal. 

"I didn't expect to do any work, but an old friend is in town," he explains while planting a kiss on your forehead. "You should sightsee while I'm away. There are great cafés; treat yourself to a shopping spree."

"Sounds good," you respond, looking forward to wandering the nearby streets and taking in the sights. 

"Namjoon is at the gym, but if you want to wait for him, he should be back in an hour or so."

An hour feels like too long to wait, and you are already slipping into a black satin mini slip dress and black flats. 

"I'll be good on my own," you insist once you are dressed, pulling Yoongi close to plant a kiss against his jaw. "Good luck with your deal, kitten."

At the nickname, Yoongi nibbles on his lip, then he kisses you on the forehead and takes his leave. The afternoon is young, and you grab a small black purse and head out the door with nothing but your cell phone, Yoongi's black credit card, and a smile on your face. 

Although the storefronts are enticing, you feel restless by the prospect of shopping alone, and decide it would be best to bring the guys back another time, should the urge strike you again. Truth be told, you have more than you could possibly want at the mansion as it is, with the two of them surprising you with luxurious garments dangling from hangers on a regular basis. There is nothing you truly feel that you need, so instead you take in the sights, window shop, and snap some photos to be uploaded online at a later time. 

Hours pass meandering the streets, and you return to the room holding a big bouquet of pink and white long-stemmed roses and a bag of danishes in one hand while balancing a cardboard drink holder containing three lattes in the other. A sweet old man was selling flowers from a small booth near the café you stopped at, and you could not resist bringing a bundle of them back to the hotel, despite already having your hands full. The small marble table beside the door to your suite comes in handy as you gently place the drink carrier down and dig into your purse for the room key.

With a smile, you quietly insert and turn the key, doing your best not to alert the men to your return, with the intention of surprising them with treats. You lied, saying you would be out a little later, hoping to surprise them with your arrival. Namjoon should have returned from the gym by now, and you expect Yoongi may be back as well, so your hope is that they are both together, and possibly in the middle of something sweet or steamy for you to walk in on. 

As the wooden door creaks open, a strange vinegary scent hits your nose. But, Paris is full of strange smells, so you do not overthink it as you drop the key into your purse and pick up the drinks. The suite is surprisingly quiet, which sets a feeling of disappointment in your tummy; you were really hoping to return to at least one of your men.

It is precarious, but you manage to slip from your shoes while keeping everything in your hands balanced. From the bedroom, you think you hear a soft sound, almost like a hiss, and you turn your attention toward the noise with a smile. 

"Namjoon?" you call, slowly walking through the large suite to the tall double doors of the bedroom. "Yoongi?"

You catch the sound of a deep, low groan, and you stop in your tracks. It was definitely a Yoongi noise, but what is he up to? And is he alone? You nibble on your bottom lip as you tip-toe closer, eager to hear more sweet sounds. When silence continues to fill the space you step a little more quickly, feeling your heart pound while you carry the many items you have forward. 

One of the large double doors is open about an inch, and you tap it gently with your toe, willing it to move just enough to peek your head inside before stepping in completely. It takes a moment for the scene to come fully into view, covering you head to toe in an icy chill that holds you trapped in place. 

Yoongi sits on the edge of the mattress with his head hung low, drooping forward. His right arm is outstretched with the sleeve of his beige silk shirt rolled up past his elbow. A pinkish mark wraps around his upper arm, as if something had been tightly tied around it and had only just been removed, and cradled in his left hand, which hangs limply over his knee, is a needle.

"Kit—Yoongi?" you try, voice coming out shaky and hoarse. 

There may as well be a barrier between the two of you because Yoongi does not stir. The urge to run to him and check his pulse or slap his face or scream at him is high, but you are unable to move. 

You hear it before you feel it. The flowers, bag of danishes, and tray of coffee slip from your fingers and hit the floor in a heavy crash of paper and liquid. The scalding feeling of spilt coffee burns your feet and you slowly take two steps backward until you are met with the closed of the two doors, and you wrap your hand around the edge of it, clinging onto the painted wood like a lifeline. 

Slowly, Yoongi turns his head, blinking heavily. He appears happy and then, all at once, terrified, dropping the needle from his hand and attempting to get up. But his limbs seem too heavy, and he just places his hands on the edge of the bed and sighs, slumped forward with a dazed, distant look in his eyes.

"Darling, it's not—" he begins to mutter, syllables jumbled and slurred and coming out in a pile that is hardly recognizable as words. 

"What did you do?" you ask, frozen in place against the door. 

Frantically, it occurs to you that you need Namjoon. Where is Namjoon?

"I just—" Yoongi hangs his head low and although you hear no sound, you watch his shoulders bounce as if he is either laughing or crying. "Hyunjin and–and everything—I fucked up. What if…what if I lose you, too?"

Hot tears stream down your face as a large, deep exhale pushes from your lungs, and suddenly, you are able to move. Slung over your torso is your small black purse, the presence of which you are made aware of as everything comes back into focus and you are able to make sense of what is happening. Although the ringing in your ears grows in pitch, you do your best to stay grounded and present. 

All at once in a frenzy, you yank the purse from below your arm until it rests over your tummy, and you begin to navigate its flaps and zippers with shaking hands, desperate to find your phone. You nearly drop it as you pull it out and, fucking up your passcode—9394—twice before the screen lights up with your many useless apps and widgets shining brightly, making your vision blur. Rather than make sense of your contact list, you open your messaging app, find Namjoon at the top of the list, and then call him from there. 

Yoongi lays back against the bed with his eyes wide, staring at the ceiling while his arms move out to both sides. You want to go to him, to hug him and kiss him and beg him for answers. You also want to grab one of the expensive vases that litter this gaudy suite and bash his fucking face in. 

"Sweetheart?" you hear Namjoon ask distantly, and you blink heavily as you remember that you had placed a phone call. "Are you already back in the room?"

The phone had only been partially lifted to your ear, and you pull it quickly the rest of the way. 

"N-Namjoon," you whimper, feeling the weight of the world crushing your chest as a sob follows the sound of his name. 

"What is it? Are you alright?"

You shake your head uselessly and sniffle. 

"Yoongi, he's—I—" You cannot bring yourself to say it; you cannot wrap your lips around the words. 

"Is Yoongi safe? Is he there with you?"

"He's…he's…using—Namjoon, help…" 

A heavy sob breaks through you, and you collapse, sliding down to the floor, sitting in warm coffee. Namjoon is out at some unknown location, Yoongi is using heroin, and you are trapped in Paris with nowhere to go—with no home to return to that feels like your own.

"Fuck," Namjoon responds, which sounds far away as your phone slips from your ear and your arm begins to fall to the cold marble floor. 

You think you hear Namjoon say he will be right here before the call ends and the screen goes black, but all you can do is stare ahead at the crème-colored satin sheets in which you confessed your love with all your body and heart the night before, and cry. 

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

You hardly perceive the conversation—if you can call it that—which takes place once Namjoon arrives. All you parse amidst the storm is frantically demanding to be taken back to Korea, thrashing your arms as Namjoon attempts to comfort you, and calling Yoongi a barrage of terrible things. You wished you had never met him; wished you had never told him you loved him. 

The look of hurt on his face plays over in your mind whenever you blink. It feels as if hours pass before Yoongi is cognizant, and the moment he attempts to console you, you freak out, screaming and shoving him away. 

How dare he turn to a drug that serious, especially during this trip? What was he thinking; how could he be so selfish?

You feel flabbergasted and foolish, knowing that it was he who Namjoon and Jeongguk were discussing out on the mezzanine the other day. How dare Namjoon keep his suspicions over something like this from you? You confessed your love for them; does that mean nothing to them?

Unable to relax, Namjoon offers you a xanax. And although you are furious with him for doling out drugs at a time like this, you pop it into your mouth with a gulp of flat, warm champagne and allow yourself to sink into the cream-colored couch. You threaten them, telling them that you had better be on a fucking airplane when you wake up; the sight of both of them makes you so sick that you hug a pillow with your back turned to the room and fall asleep sobbing, feeling crushed under the weight of heartache and disappointment. 

To your surprise, when you wake from a dreamless sleep, you are not on an airplane, and it is Jimin's smiling face that greets you. 

"Hmm?" you grumble as you release the pillow and turn, stretching your sore limbs, which have been bunched up on the couch. "What are you doing here?"

The suite is dark, with only two lamps lighting the space, and you glance around, noticing that all traces of your visit are gone, with the exception of a long peacoat, your purse, and your shoes. All hints of Yoongi and Namjoon have been taken away.

"I'm here to take you home," Jimin says softly, lips fallen into a frown. 

A sob shakes through your chest as you sit up and wrap your arms around Jimin's neck, pulling him into you until he loses his balance and leans, hugging his arms around you. Jimin shushes you as the fight to not cry becomes a losing battle, rubbing his palms up and down your back. 

"I promise you, we had no idea," he mutters, and although you have no reason to believe he may be lying, his words do not soothe you one bit. The idea of Yoongi keeping such a secret from not only you but Namjoon chills you to the bone. What else might he be hiding?

"I was so scared," you sputter through sobs, sniffling loudly against the palm of your hand. "I said horrible things."

"I know," Jimin responds sweetly, hugging you tighter. "I'm sure he understands. And I'm sure he deserves some of those things. Maybe not all, but…you have every right to be afraid and angry."

"I just don't understand," you sob, feeling hopeless. 

With a sigh, Jimin tightens the hug before releasing it. 

"Let's talk more on the plane?" he offers, and you nod, sniffling and rubbing the back of your hand over your nose. 

Jimin stands tall in a long black peacoat, and he walks to where a matching one hangs and grabs it. You approach and allow him to drape the garment over your shoulders, still wearing the coffee-stained black satin slip dress, and you grab onto the lapels to hug it tight while Jimin gathers your purse and checks the room to make sure nothing is being left behind. 

The walk down to the lobby is quiet, but Jimin's presence speaks volumes. He is patient and kind, standing tall beside you, offering warm, delicate touches when you struggle to hold your composure. A black sedan waits outside, and Jimin retrieves the key from the man behind a valet podium, then he unlocks the door and opens it for you, waiting for you to slide inside. 

The sky is dark; an entire day passed while you slept in a ball on that couch. 

Although you are grateful, you dread what happens next. Once you get onto an airplane and return to Seoul, you will be stuck sharing a bed with a stranger. After all these months you feel like you are back at square one, if not further than where you started. Do you know Yoongi at all? Is it possible that he has been honest with you about anything?

Jimin gets into the vehicle and drives to the airport. It is then that you finally begin to get your myriad thoughts in order and attempt to make a decision.

"I can't go home," you blurt, half expecting Jimin to argue.

"Alright," he says simply, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. 

"Alright?" you ask, watching to see if he is fucking with you.

Jimin shrugs and glances at you before turning his gaze back to the road.

"You don't have to go home. Do you want to stay here?"

A shiver runs along your spine, and you respond, "No," unsure whether you can ever return to Paris again. At least, for now, you need to create some distance. 

"Do you want to stay with me?" Jimin offers, and you drop your gaze to your hands, which fidget in your lap.

"I don't want to be a burden," you mutter, surprised when Jimin chuckles. 

"Please, dove, I own a mansion. And I practically live at work; you would hardly see me."

You nod, willing to accept his offer without any more arguing. After all, the homes they all own are rather large; if you wanted to, you could probably go days avoiding him. Not that you imagine you would. 

"Can I come to the club too?" you ask, suddenly curious about what it is like inside the brothels. As far as you have been able to glean, they are nightclubs—like Serendipity—or strip clubs—like Paradise. 

"Sure," Jimin offers easily, smiling softly while glancing briefly at you. "But I am not teaching you how to dance. Yoongi would kill me."

Although you had not previously considered learning, the thought of having anything denied makes you cross your arms over your chest and pout. 

"But what if I want to learn?" you ask in a small voice, winning you a louder chuckle. 

"We'll see," is all Jimin says as he pulls into a gated entrance, flashes an identification card, and begins to drive over to a private jet that looks identical to the one you flew over in. 

Jimin parks beside the aircraft and a team of men in black suits open the doors for the two of you and usher you up the small set of steel steps. Wind whips around, and you are relieved to return to warmth as you take the final step into the jet. 

The interior is nearly identical to Yoongi's—black, gold, and mahogany—only the lights are all light blue, with red light shining from the small bedroom all the way to the back. 

"How did you get here so fast?" you ask as you make your way to the small leather couch and plop down. 

Jimin bows to the staff who close the airplane door, then he turns to you and shrugs. "I was in the area."

At this, you scoff, unsure what that might even mean. 

"In the area?" you parrot in a mocking tone, sniffling embarrassingly loudly.

"After everything that has been going on, I needed a break," Jimin explains as he approaches and sits beside you. Without warning, he pulls his legs up onto the small couch and slides onto his side, resting his head in your lap. The movement is so vulnerable and sweet, and you do not second guess it, wrapping an arm over his arm and chest and allowing yourself to comfort the both of you. "I own that suite you were staying in, and a penthouse not too far from there, and happened to be around, so Namjoon called and asked if I would take care of you while he gets Yoongi home. He was actually with me when you called, but I wasn't sure if it would be appropriate for me to join him, so I waited."

You grunt in response, displeased to hear their names and picture their beautiful, stupid faces. 

"Namjoon will assist him in getting the help he needs," Jimin offers quietly, and you huff out a sigh and rest your head back, staring at the shiny off-white ceiling. 

"What if he doesn't?" you ask weakly, feeling the heavy emptiness return to your chest. "I told them that I love them, Jimin. And this is what he does. I don't know what to do; how can I love someone who does something like that?"

Jimin sighs and nuzzles into your thigh, attempting to hug you at the angle he lays, and then he sits up, pulls his legs under him, and turns until he is facing you. As soon as he opens his mouth, the pilot announces that the plane is ready for takeoff, causing him to chuckle softly and shake his head. Then he takes your hands in his and you turn your body as well, facing him with your ankles tucked beneath you. 

"Heroin is a terrible drug," Jimin states with sadness in his eyes. "Yoongi…he got into it at a young age, using pills first. And when Ryujin left…things got really bad for a while. We all thought we might lose him."

"I thought he wanted her to leave," you mutter, more of a statement than a question.

Jimin squeezes your hands and drops his gaze down as he says, "Sometimes important decisions—ones that we know we have to make—still hurt like hell."

You think back to Felix telling you about Jimin and his ex, and the choice he made to take the man's life. You wonder what other decisions he has had to make that must have hurt like hell. You wonder what decisions you will be faced with. 

Suddenly, you remember Seokjin's proposition, and you wonder how difficult it might be to disappear completely. Maybe you do not take up his offer to help them spy on Ryujin. Maybe…maybe you leave Korea entirely, at least for a little while. 

"I have more questions, but…" you nibble on your cheek, feeling nausea rise as the plane lightly jolts and begins to ascend into the sky. "I don't think I want to talk about this more right now. Can we watch a movie, instead?"

Jimin smiles and pulls you into a hug, and you let out a large breath you had not realized you had been holding onto. Everything feels a little less uncertain and scary now that Jimin is around, and you are grateful for his friendship. 

"We'll talk when you're ready," Jimin says, hugging you tighter, and you close your eyes and feel more tears well up.

"Thank you, Jimin," you mutter, feeling sadness and hope quake behind your ribs. "Thank you for everything."

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

Take onе in the temple, my tonguе is a vessel I try to be careful with the thing inside my chest You shoot for the memory so you can forget me I'll leave if you let me, ooh

But I won't die for love But ever since I met you You could have my heart And I would break it for you

🎵 visit the playlist

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

in case baby armys don't catch the reference: when Yoongi says, "Figured I can't bring you all the way to Hong Kong without taking you to Hong Kong," is a reference to Cypher Pt. 3 where he refers to giving an orgasm as to taking someone to Hong Kong.

😬😬😬 how are we doing, friends? i know i have said this so many times, but please trust the process. things might seem really bleak sometimes, but stick with me!!! as always, please don’t be a silent reader! feedback & reblogs do so much to help content creators! and likes are also appreciated.

tag list: @afangirllikeme-blog @annacroft23114 @angel-121 @artgukk @btsiguess-kpop @bts-ficreviews @che-er-ful @codeinebelle @curryshesus @dasexydevitt13 @giriiboyy @fringe-frank @illnevertrustmyselfagain @jalexad @juju-227592 @kissme-ornot @leanimal90 @likeshatteredrainbowglass @m1sss1mp​ @mayeolorie @mgthecat @mushroom-main @mwitsmejk @openup-yourmind @pamzn @sleepilysworld @stocking221 @spookyminyunki​ @thelilbutifulthings @valhallawhispers 🗡️ comment or dm to be added!

Collateral 16: Sometimes Important Decisionsones That We Know We Have To Makestill Hurt Like Hell

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Collateral is copyright 2022-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved.


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1 year ago

this is making me feel like i’m 15 again and it’s giving me the heebie jeebies!!!!

Jeon Jungkook An Early 2000s Emo/myspace Playlist (1/7)
Jeon Jungkook An Early 2000s Emo/myspace Playlist (1/7)

jeon jungkook ★ an early 2000s emo/myspace playlist (1/7)

01. fall out boy - grand theft autumn/where is your boy // 02. atreyu - bleeding mascara // 03. the fall of troy - f.c.p.r.e.m.i.x. // 04. linkin park - somewhere i belong // 05. evanescence - going under // 06. all time low - to live and let go // 07. silverstein - smashed into pieces // 08. underoath - writing on the walls // 09. bayside - devotion and desire // 10. from autumn to ashes - cherry kiss // 11. blink 182 - feeling this // 12. from first to last - secrets don't make friends // 13. afi - the leaving song pt. II // 14. every time i die - ebolarama // 15. thursday - cross out the eyes // 16. story of the year - until the day i die // 17. the early november - something that produces results // 18. rancid - david courtney // 19. transplants - diamonds and guns // 20. sum 41 - over my head (better off dead) // 21. three days grace - pain // 22. circa survive - stop the fuckin' car // 23. dance gavin dance - uneasy hearts weigh the most // 24. my chemical romance - teenagers // 25. matchbook romance - promise

Jeon Jungkook An Early 2000s Emo/myspace Playlist (1/7)

[ ft. suggestions from @theharrowing, @daechwitatamic, @axialitae, @chryblossomjjk, @agustdsciggy & @jeonjcngkook. have a suggestion of your own? send it here and i'll add it! ]


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1 year ago
Im Blushing
Im Blushing

I’m blushing 😳

1 year ago
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn
D-DAY Club With Agust D And DJ El Capitxn

D-DAY Club with Agust D and DJ El Capitxn


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