Ill Never Be Like Him.

“I’ll never be like him.”

He got so BIG!!!!

(And NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED)

Bram: I finally have my body back!

Fyodor:

when vincent eventually gets his phone i hope they give him one of those coffin shaped cases to go with it

listen i am obsessed with this single line of dialogue. it's a Final Fantasy game full of people named crazy shit like GENESIS RHAPSODOS and WEISS THE IMMACULATE and then there's this dude. some random ass guy from the in-game lore equivalent of rural Louisiana whose name may as well be Jim.

And Jim Has Seen It All. he fell 300 meters and crashed through the roof of a church and he walked it off like it was nothing. he's seen his mentor grow one single wing and take to the skies majestically like an albatross. he survived when an alien brain fungus consumed his coworker's consciousness spurring the guy to commit arson and a small genocide. fresh outta high school he's abducted by scientists and trapped in a large petri dish for four years. he escapes and then singlehandedly mows down an entire goddamn army of hundreds of troopers and gets shot like at least twenty times. he tears a metal tree out of the ground and chucks it at a helicopter like a toy shovel, acting cool about it. "ugh mondays am i right? haha"

the rapture is coming. the sky has ripped open like a wrestler's t-shirt and everyone is mourning their impending doom and Jim is just like "it'll be fine lol" but then SEPHIROTH arrives and shoves him into a wormhole. he wanders the empty backstage of reality, and only then does he start to slightly freak out just a tiny bit. no problem. hop in hop out, quick boss battle against the brain fungus coworker, easy peasy. he gets savewarped to another universe, kinda annoying but he can deal, he thinks.

But now there's a fucking meteor crashing down on top of him. And finally, finally— Jim cracks. He can't handle this. What the actual fuck is my life, he finally wonders. "What the hell is going on!?" he finally asks.