Free Fall

Free Fall

I don't feel a thing...

and I stop remembering...

the days are just like moments turned to hours...

Shattered glass caught a thousand reflections of a defeated man plunging in a free fall towards the unforgiving ground.

Eyes stared blankly up at the sky, unseeing.

The only images playing in Spike's vision were ghosts of the past.

A woman - neither angel nor devil, merely inherently human - who may as well no longer exist.

A man - a friend, a comrade, a partner - who had become an enemy.

No. He was the one who had changed. He had spurned his bosses and betrayed everyone he'd known and stood beside for so many tumultuous years.

And now he was falling...falling...falling into an uncertain infinity.

Vicious was within the cathedral still - perhaps caught in the explosion from the grenade Spike had lobbed back inside before his weightless plummet began.

Weightless, formless... Back to the beginning, to be born again. Start over, start fresh, do better this time. Except...

He could feel the weight of his own body dragging him towards the ground. The weight of his conscience pulling him guiltily towards personal truths he'd rather avoid.

His body was in free fall but so too was his mind.

Was this a dream then? Was anything ever real?

Runaway

Run away!

It had been the only sensible thought that erupted through the chaos in the wake of Whitney's death (that lying deep-in-debt asshole who'd heaped a world of trouble onto her shoulders when she was already carrying a mess of trouble all her own.

Not like she'd asked to be rescued, iced, and brought back to life just to owe a fortune to a corrupt medical system.

They'd have to be corrupt to be going around thawing out cryo patients and tricking them into taking on someone else's monetary woes.

She sometimes wondered why they'd chosen her. Did they think she had a savings account somewhere? Was she secretly an heiress? Was there a load of riches in her name (oh but what even was her name?!) just waiting to be claimed?

Questions without answers.

And meanwhile she'd assumed the cops were on her tail. For the scene she'd caused in the hospital. For her own bills and the new ones she'd accrued.

Run. Run until you couldn't run any further. Then take some time to regroup. See if you can figure anything out. See if there's anyone around who might be kind and capable of help.

She'd met a woman who taught her to gamble and then disappeared, leaving Faye in a lurch.

She'd met a man with a rocket ship who'd foolishly wagered it in a game of poker and took him for that and all the woolongs that he had. Incensed, he'd tried to beat her down.

Run, little Faye. Runaway and save your life.

She met more people. Sad people, bad people, mad people.

Everyone was out to swindle everyone else. It was all a game and you'd better learn the rules real fast if you want to get ahead (she'd be satisfied with breaking even, to be honest).

Trust no one. Get them before they get you.

A few times she'd nearly been caught by debt collectors or by people she cheated at cards or dice. The answer was always to run.

Stay ahead of your enemies. Stay ahead of pursuit. Don't let your guard down. Don't reveal your true self (who even was her true self?!) and don't ever give your real name even if it's just something a doctor came up with for you.

Before meeting Jet and Spike (well, after a scheme fell apart in which she technically met Spike) she had tried to bolt. The lunkheads somehow ended up on the hood of her craft and she graciously brought them to their ship.

And what thanks did she get?!

So, naturally, she escaped and made sure to take everything she could.

Nearly everything had been taken from her since waking up.

Her dignity. Her sense of shame. Her trust in others. Her faith in the goodness of humanity.

Her memories had been taken (lost in the Accident but still).

Her freedom had been taken (she was a fugitive after all).

Her virginity had been threatened countless times (though she suspected she'd actually given that up before The Big Sleep...but that didn't give anyone the right to impose themselves upon her nowadays and you'd better believe they tried, without consent of course and thankfully without success).

The only way to stay safe was to stay moving.

Runaway.

Even after the Bebop boys had happened upon her again, as she drifted in her vessel with no fuel and no food and no idea what would happen next...

She stayed for a while. Too long, if you asked her.

She found herself falling for an asshole (and she'd already been through a shitty instance of that so what was she even thinking?!) and she ran again.

That time she was subconsciously hoping to be followed. To be reassured. When had her sensibility fled?

Jet discovered her in Gren's apartment. Toted her and her craft back to the ship like a wayward child. His demeanor on their return flight was surprisingly not hostile given how she'd left them in dire straits.

While it hadn't been Spike to recover her... It had been somewhat nice that Jet made the effort. He treated her like an errant child, but that was much more welcome than the way most men regarded her. It was comforting.

But by now her heart was tangled up in feelings. And so she spent more time off the ship than before. Betting on dogs and ponies and anything rather than betting on a man to do right by her.

When the packages arrived she ran again.

Runaway! Don't get caught! Trust no one!

Yet there was nowhere to go. There'd never been anywhere to escape to. The Bebop was the closest thing to a sanctuary she'd found in this unforgiving future.

Going back turned out to be a mistake. It brought her face to face with a girl she did not recognize. It forced her to see that once upon a time she'd been quite different. Shy and beloved and seemingly wealthy to at least some degree.

It rattled around in her brain for weeks. The knowledge that she'd had a good life once, surrounded by friends, growing up in a big house and clearly not lacking for toys.

And then Ed helped her find a piece of her past and it all started to come back to her painfully.

She ran again.

Run, runaway...

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no... home.

Mushroom Hunting

Even as abnormally intelligent as Ein was, he wasn't impervious to making a mistake every now and again. He laid the blame on this erroneous instance on being hungrier than usual. Who wouldn't have eaten a mushroom in starvation? Particularly when said mushroom had been toted around by a human.

Ein knew wild mushrooms were hit or miss and that the 'miss' could sometimes be lethal. He'd foolishly trusted that the goofy man hadn't had a stash of deadly 'shrooms.

No, these mushrooms had quite a different - though certainly not deadly - effect on the consumer.

Normally he'd have shared the treat with Ed. She was a kind kid and Ein's favorite member of the crew. But for once Ein had been too ravenous to be generous and in retrospect he was grateful for his own rude behavior. He was positive that Ed - while she might have enjoyed the strange trip - absolutely did not need to experience the side effects of the 'shroom.

It was difficult enough to wrangle her as it was! Keeping an eye on her to keep her safe would have likely proved impossible. Ein was clever and resourceful but even he had limits.

Thankfully Ed was clever as well and when Ein had begun hiccuping and acting odd she'd understood that the mushroom had been to blame. Further research had been necessary and, at her side, Ein had observed - once he came down from his own high - the effects on the rest of the crew.

An introspective journey that more or less trapped them in one place. Hearing Jet giggle had been rewarding, if unexpected. Seeing Spike step along to nowhere had been a relief as there were many places on the ship that could prove dangerous to someone tripping the light fantastic. And Faye's aerobic exercising seemed at least a healthy output of energy.

Truth be told, things were still a little fuzzy for Ein himself at that point. The world had mostly returned to normal but the edges were still a blur as he and Ed watched the announcement on Big Shot. They instantly recognized the guy - Domino Walker - from their encounter with him earlier.

Ed's eyes lit up and Ein could practically see the gears turning in her mind. Hunger was still gnawing at both of them and hunger is always a powerful influence.

"Shes's a cowgirl Ein! We earn money and buy food! Ein, you're a cow-woof-woof!" Ed exclaimed.

Ein had to admit it was a good idea. Money meant a way to secure sustenance - that was literally the whole reason the rest of the crew ever went and did anything - and he and Ed had a better chance than other bounty hunters at getting this one in the bag! They had already run into him, after all, and Ein still had his scent in his nose.

It was time to gear up and get going on this mushroom man hunt!

Collateral Damage

"You coming back to life is worse on me than this glass."

She'd been jokingly serious at the time. Well, more serious than joking. Nothing truly terrible had befallen her at that point but Annie had been well aware of the potential fallout of interacting with a dead man. Even if the rumors of his demise had been greatly exaggerated.

For her sake, he should have stayed dead.

Months later, she was just collateral damage in the unavoidable feud between two asshole men with too much pride. Brothers in arms, they'd been. Cut from the same cloth and all that. Until one day something within Spike had changed. His soul had cried out against their lifestyle and he'd subsequently altered course which had somehow bound their destinies together in bloody finality.

Many people would lay the blame at Julia's feet. Hell, even Annie probably thought that Julia was the cause of Spike's deviation. Although she'd adored them together - was in fact one of the few not only aware but also supportive of their union - she had been as wrong as the rest.

Julia, and Spike's helpless love for her, were separate from the shift in his conscience that had led him to undergo such an obnoxious change of heart. Her hands, in their own fashion, had been just as bloodstained as anyone's in the Syndicate, after all. And she'd never truly been driven to seek escape.

But he didn't care to think about Julia right now. The beautiful phantom trying to wrap him around her pinky yet again. No, her love was both freeing and a trap, and above all only served her own purpose despite whatever good it did him in the process. These days that good was far less than it'd been back then.

Anastasia...

The woman who'd watched Spike grow from a troubled youth filching porno from her store into a deadeyed sharpshooter jumping at the beck and call of the Van. The woman who'd quietly served the Syndicate in her own way - which should have lent her protection! Her value to the Red Dragons should have outweighed the flimsy bond of her affiliation with Spike.

She was a fence and operated a Red Dragon weapons cache. She should have been immune to repercussion despite her ties with Spike. She should have never been at risk of such a lethal reprisal.

Vicious wasn't playing fair. He was flouting the rules of the game. It had been one thing to take out Mao - no matter how Spike felt about that. Arguments could be made for the necessity of it and likely had been since the Van had ultimately permitted such an act without consequence to the perpetrator.

The Van would never have allowed this. Resources such as Annie were valuable and respected. There was simply no sense in murdering anyone and everyone who'd known a renegade member of the Syndicate, especially if those other folks were loyal members themselves. That renegade's friends and family - if such existed outside of the Syndicate - sure, those individuals were considered expendable and used as a threat to keep people in line. But Annie was a Dragon through and through. She'd been there for the rise of Mao and the indoctrination of both Spike and Vicious.

She was off limits.

Clearly the Van was no longer calling shots. Most likely they'd been ousted as well. Annie had suspected as much given what she'd told him before dying. This entire thing reeked of Vicious. A bloody coup utilizing scorched earth policy. It was mindless brutality.

Jet's injury had been collateral damage in a way, though anything he or Faye or - heaven forbid, even Ed - suffered would have been considered an appropriate response to having aided and abetted Spike in his abandonment of the Syndicate. There was no protection for any of them.

Jet understood that. Faye probably would as well if she knew the situation better. Ed though, wherever she was, she wouldn't have had a clue that anyone was gunning for her simply because she'd been on board the wrong ship and befriended the wrong man.

All these thoughts raced through Spike's mind as he rifled through Annie's store of artillery while Julia looked on. He didn't bother to glance back at her, uncaring of the expression she wore. He didn't need to read her cues any longer. Her role in his life was over and done as far as he was concerned. Extracting her from this situation was the only thing he still owed her, if indeed he owed her a damn thing at all.

But Annie... His heart clenched. She shouldn't have been a target, dammit!

And now Jet, nursing a bullet wound on his broken down ship. And Faye, who'd returned despite her hot words - she was always coming back, no matter what her voice claimed. They were going to be killed.

A steely resolve had settled over him. It had begun to blanket him long before this but now there was no escaping it.

Even Ed would be doomed if he didn't end it now.

Vicious had shown what he was capable of, and it was indeed monstrous. Collateral damage and then some.

Annie...

So this was it. He'd rescue Julia after all, no matter if she wanted that or not, and then he'd face the beast. Finish it at last. Sever their connection and ensure that Vicious could no longer hurt anyone he cared for.

It should have been done long ago but he'd been too weak. Bested at the cathedral and then treated like a pawn piece of no consequence on Callisto. He should have tracked Vicious down after that but his head had been full of contemplation and realizations that had shuttered his heart and kept him distracted.

He'd been a fool to think things could stay the way they were.

To think no one would get hurt.

Annie...

Julia was talking to him. He tuned in, listening with half an ear while the rest of him remained consumed with pain as he remembered his last two encounters with Annie and all the better times before that.

"I'm sorry." Spike told her then, speaking not to Julia but to Annie's spirit. "I'm gonna make a bit of a scene."

Ah, who was he fooling - she'd expect nothing less from him.

In that case, it was time to do her proud.

Runaway

She stared at the pocket watch for hours that day.

She didn't wash the laundry. Her clothes - clean or dirty - all seemed wrong somehow. Like she'd been wearing the clothes of another woman all these years. Were these even her own fashion choices?

She didn't wash the dishes. Jet had left before breakfast and she hadn't bothered to make herself anything to eat so truthfully there were no dirty dishes to worry about. An empty sink, an empty life.

When had it begun being this tedious to live? When had she first noticed the loneliness seeping in? When had they given up on their love?

Did Jet even realize that they'd fallen apart?

She didn't think so. Then again, it had taken her until today to understand that her own unhappiness was driving her away. Away from the love she'd once bore for this man, this apartment, this shared life.

But with Jet the job always came first.

Oh, they had a roof over their head and food to eat and he was willing to buy her whatever dress or necklace or book she may want. He gave her all sorts of things to fill the hours. But nothing truly filled the void of his absence.

Not that she begrudged him his job. It was important work. It kept the streets of Ganymede cleaner and safer and all that jazz. It also kept him away for hours that often turned into days.

Had this really been the life she signed up for?

It felt wrong. She felt wrong. She wasn't herself anymore and wasn't sure when she had gotten lost in this sham of a relationship. She thought it might be killing her in fact.

And suddenly she was outside. Rain was falling falling falling to the ground but her spirits were beginning to slowly soar. What was happening? Where were her feet taking her? What was going on?!

She was running away. Escaping the comfort of the trap she'd been willing caught in for too long. Running from the shadow of a person she'd been and running towards the memory of who she'd once been. Perhaps there was still time to be that person again - or, no, that silly girl had led her into a stagnant routine. Perhaps it was time instead to be someone else. To try new things and make mistakes and grow.

She'd been a potted plant, cared for and admired. That was a fine life for some. But now she could be a wildflower - free to run rampant, unfettered and beholden to no one.

(featuring dialogue & description from a transcript of the Wild Horses session of Cowboy Bebop)

Sacrifice

It happened so fast. Then again, that's how most things went wrong in his life. The majority was spent idling time away in a haze of smoke or an alcohol-induced stupor, lazing around the Bebop. Those long hours were often interrupted by high stakes bounty chases and that's where it all tended to unravel in spectacular fashion...much like today going up against the space pirates...

Earth space. Spike continues chasing the pirates.

SPIKE: So let's see what ya got...

GEORGE: He's here.

HARMAN: Waste of time.

Spike hides under the haul and fires at the harpoon.

HARMAN: He's after the arm...

GEORGE: He's not taking us seriously! Ruth!

RUTH: Ready to go anytime.

GEORGE: Take that!

George releases the haul. Behind the truck are dozens of harpoon guns.

RUTH: Welcome...

Spike dodges them.

SPIKE: Excellent!

Harman locks on to Spike.

HARMAN: Bingo!

Spike barely dodges Harman's harpoon shot.

RUTH: He's holding up pretty well.

Spike is finally hit by a harpoon.

JET: Cut off the mono-system!

SPIKE: I'm doing it!

RUTH: That idiot cut off his mono-system!

HARMAN: Hey... George...

RUTH: And he's in Earth's gravitational field...

The pirates truck are hit by a harpoon.

Doohan's office. Miles runs in with the radio.

MILES: Old man! Here, here!

They overhear Spike and Jet's communication.

MILES: This is pretty bad!

JET: Align the D7. Ya did it before, right?

SPIKE: Like I remember!

Earth space. The pirates are being pulled into Earth's atmosphere.

GEORGE: No good... There's nothing we can do...

HARMAN: You idiot! Hurry up and do something about this!

GEORGE: Dammit... Move! MOVE!

RUTH: Falling... We're falling!

Spike rewires Swordfish.

JET: Spike, I'll be right there. I'm calculating an interception course. Until then, keep control manually somehow. Even if everything was normal, it'd be tough to get outta here.

SPIKE: I can see that. And I just had it overhauled...

Meteors crash into Swordfish.

SPIKE: Oh well. Whatever happens, happens.

Spike dodges meteors.

JET: Spike, above you.

Spike sees the Bebop above him.

SPIKE: Your tattered ship looks like a goddess!

The pirates' truck crashes into a meteor and explodes, harpoons fly upward.

SPIKE: Shit, the virus...

It wasn't even a conscious thought. It was merely a knee jerk instinctive reaction to intercept. Self-sacrifice to save his companions. And why not? He'd died before anyway, what was another death to him? Particularly one that would keep the others alive and well. Even if he'd had the time and capability of considering an alternate option, he'd choose to put himself between them and danger any day of the week.

Spike flies low and uses Swordfish to block the harpoons from hitting the Bebop.

JET: Spike!

SPIKE: I'm still alive!

JET: We have to start over!

Doohan's hanger.

MILES: No way! Old man, ya gotta be kidding! Are you really gonna move this ancient piece of -

Miles laughs.

DOOHAN: Do you think I'd do this as a joke? Don't just stand there! Hurry up and get me some fuel!

MILES: All right!

Earth space. Swordfish slowly falls into Earth's atmosphere.

JET: Spike, can you hear me? I got a calculation. It'll take another 7 hours for us to rendezvous.

SPIKE: Come on, you're joking, right?

JET: We're too close to Earth. The orbital paths I can take are limited!

SPIKE: Isn't there a  way for you to just swing on by?

JET: If I plunge in at this angle, both the Bebop and the Swordfish will burn to nothing!

Swordfish's underside begins to burn.

There was still no regret over his choice. He'd always lived a fatalistic life, it was bound to catch up with him one of these days. Of course the others would no doubt be upset over his sacrifice - though they'd be alive and well to rue his absence so it was still a win in his books.

SPIKE: Jet... I have some booze hidden behind the fridge. Feel free to drink some.

JET: Something wrong?!

SPIKE: I'm outta gas. Nothing I can do now.

Doohan communicates to Spike through the radio.

DOOHAN: How about I go there and tow you back, in exchange for that booze? I heard the conversation. Give me the Swordfish's coordinates.

SPIKE: Doohan?! How the hell do you - ?!

Doohan's hanger. Doohan prepares to launch the old space shuttle.

DOOHAN: Spike, I don't care how ya do it, but slow down using an air-brake.

SPIKE: Slow down?

DOOHAN: If you slow down within Earth's atmosphere the gravitational pull will accelerate you instead which will give you enough speed to escape. However, you have to maintain the ship at a certain angle. Too far either way, and you'll be thrown out to the other end of the universe.

SPIKE: Unfortunately, I'm not one for delicate controls.

DOOHAN: Spike... I know you can do it. I didn't give you the Swordfish for nothing.

SPIKE: Don't you start crashing, either!

In the shuttle.

MILES: Maximum propulsion.

DOOHAN: You didn't have to force yourself to come with me.

MILES: You know how Blue Sox fans love to party!

DOOHAN: Let's go!

MILES: All right!

The shuttle takes off.

MILES: We're flying... We're REALLY flying!

Earth Space.

JET: Lower the nose by 0.6 degrees.

Spike lowers too far.

JET: You're in too deep! Spike, you'll burn to a crisp!

Spike spots Doohan's shuttle. The back of the shuttle opens up.

DOOHAN: This is the last chance!

Spike breaks off Swordfish's wings and falls into the shuttle.

MILES: It went in! It went in! That was perfect!

SPIKE: Doohan, you saved me.

DOOHAN: Not quite. Most of the heat-resistant tiles have peeled off. The temperature is rising...

MILES: T-The landing gear isn't coming down either!

DOOHAN: Oh yeah, and the #2 nozzle won't work either.

MILES: WHAT!? Is that for real? What are we gonna do? We can't land without them!

SPIKE: Oh well... Whatever happens, happens.

MILES: I KNEW I shouldn't have come up here! I'm still too young to die!

Spike spared a flash of sympathy for the younger man. He and Doohan had lived lives full of success and regrets, neither man cared overly much about their own survival in the grand scheme of things. But chatterbox Miles was basically just a kid. Far too young to sacrifice himself in an attempt to rescue a fool like Spike.

Fortunately for the lot of them, a crash landing was all that they had to worry about. Self sacrifice didn't have to end in death, after all!