My Favorite Thing About This Is How An Unsuspecting Person Could Have Stumbled On This Absolute Horror

my favorite thing about this is how an unsuspecting person could have stumbled on this absolute horror of a clarification thinking they were reading a normal post.

I aspire to this level of sneak.

One thing I never liked knowing from medical photos and videos is how much empty air space is in your intestines. When you think about it you would be a hell of a lot heavier if they were entirely full of fluid, that'd be like lugging several gallon jugs around all day, but still, it feels wrong that they're mostly empty space. There's only like a little river of liquid in there. A little guy could be on a gondola in there.

Fuck that post going around saying "you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don't need to explain everything :)" I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don't explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don't explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you

SOME-*body*--

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

“Your ancestors are amazed at all your spices!”

“Your ancestors are impressed that you are an educated woman!”

“Your ancestors are proud that you are thriving in spite of what society did to them and you”

It’s all very sweet! But! Necromancy! Is! Still! Illegal! Your ancestors are going back in the ground!

Stop resurrecting them to show off!

My early adulthood would have gone so much more smoothly if I had understood earlier that I was perceiving interactions this way while they were perceiving a literal different reality from my own in which they were requesting validation and received violence.

Allistic: Be honest!!

Me: *is honest*

Allistic: >:O