Doodles Of Some Demon

Doodles of some demon

romance is alive

Aziraphale + licenses/lessons

𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 ℜ𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔱

crowley and aziraphale bond through humanity. they are – should be – fundamentally, diametrically opposed on all things relating to the divine plan. (they aren’t, really, though aziraphale would say they are.) the drinking, the bookshop, arguing about what’s moral or holy, are all things that demons and angels do as affectations of human life. but crowley and aziraphale live the experiences of humanity. and so there is nothing ambiguous about what they share, as long as what they share is human. a brunch at the ritz can’t be dressed up as something else – sharing food between two divine beings is collaboration, plain and simple, whether it is beelzebub and gabriel or crowley and aziraphale. demons, angels, all these beings don’t have to feel things in the way that humans do. they don’t have to express love as humans do. it doesn’t have to come down to getting wet and staring into each other’s eyes and vavoom, kiss, all done. love can be something different, divine, unutterable. but in a last-ditch moment, a pure act of desperation, crowley kisses aziraphale. the devotion is not new, the partnership is not new, but it is a declaration all the same, a statement that aziraphale cannot misinterpret: there is nothing ineffable between us. we don’t need to do this the way humans do, crass and tactile and unmistakable. but i will. if you won’t listen to me on divine grounds i will declare it to you on human ones. a kiss is undeniable. it shifts the tone from theoretical, theological, to something intimate. they could have been partners. they could have been a team. this, this romance – this is what they could have, as plain as it appears.

Castiel’s Sexuality

I have seen several posts about demisexual!Cas or asexual!Cas but none of them go really far into the meta behind this reading. Unlike Dean’s sexuality, Castiel’s seems to be fairly less talked about.  One reason for this is Cas’s non-human nature. This makes me and others hesitant to give Cas human labels. I am comfortable doing so because Cas regardless of what he is, he is written by humans that apply human experiences to their characters. Humans have a human bias so all characters that they write regardless of species will have human traits. Often this means that they have a sexuality too. Also, labels are not always confining. I find the definition of asexual broad enough that it can apply to non-humans as well. As many people who are LGBTQ+ know there is something freeing about finding a term that they relate to. 

Asexuality - the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.

DEAN Well. Last night on earth. What are your plans? CASTIEL I just thought I’d sit here quietly. DEAN Come on, anything? Booze, women? CASTIEL looks at DEAN and away, uncomfortable. DEAN You have been with women before. Right? Or an angel, at least? CASTIEL rubs the back of his neck. DEAN You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding? CASTIEL Look, I’ve never had occasion, okay?

Cas is clearly uncomfortable here and I don’t think it’s because he is some shrinking violet about sex. He just isn’t interested and Dean pursuing the matter makes him more and more understandably uncomfortable. Even though this is an older episode, this same uncomfortableness also came up with Hannah.  

CASTIEL What are you doing?  HANNAH I’m taking a shower.  CASTIEL Um…We don’t need to shower.  HANNAH I know. [Hannah looks confused by Castiel’s reaction] Are you –Does this bother you?  CASTIEL Bothered? I…I’m not.  HANNAH [Hannah smirks] Good.

Hannah was interested in Cas. When Cas was not interested in her in this way. Cas is no longer a virgin in this scene so the writers were not trying to write Cas as some prudish virgin, yet his reaction is very similar to that of when he was a virgin. I believe this is because Castiel isn’t uncomfortable with the idea of sex but is uncomfortable in these two situations because of the situation itself. People are trying to get an allosexual reaction from someone who is simply not interested in these two situations. 

Demisexual - a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

MEG I miss the simplicity. I was bad. You were good. Life was easier. Now it’s all so messy. I’m kind of good, which sucks. And you’re kind of bad – which is actually all manner of hot. We survive this… I’m gonna order some pizza and we’re gonna move some furniture around. You understand? CASTIEL No, I-I – [MEG smiles suggestively] wait – actually… Yes, I –

This doesn’t mean that Cas isn’t interested in sex at all. On the contrary, Cas seems to be demisexual or very close to it. Asexuality is a spectrum from Aces that don’t want any sex to allosexuals (people who are not asexual). There are certain situations that Cas has to be in to be ‘ok’ with sex. One of which was when Meg propositioned him. At this point, they know each other very well and Meg makes sure that Cas is in his right mind before asking. She also makes sure that Cas understood the question. This all leads me to suspect that Cas is more demisexual or grey-ace because this is someone he knows very well and he is ok with having sex with her. Castiel also knew Hannah very well but the difference is that Cas did not see Hannah in a sexual way but as only a friend. 

The first time we see Cas in a sexual situation is when he goes to the brothel with Dean. Cas is very uncomfortable there. It is implied that this is simply because he is a virgin but I don’t like this implication that all virgins are prudes.  I think Cas just genuinely does not want to be there and does not really want to have sex. Not because he is a virgin but because he falls somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Cas does something really interesting when he meets Chasity.  He reads her mind. We know this because he learns facts about her past that she did not share with Cas verbally. Why would Cas do this? and Why was this his first reaction to being in a sexual situation? I think he wanted to get to know her better. He needed to know her before having sex with her.   

CASTIEL: It’s very complex. DEAN: Mm-hmm. CASTIEL: If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she’s done something wrong. DEAN: You’re watching porn? Why? CASTIEL: It was there.

Like I said Cas is not a blushing shrinking violet even though he is a virgin. It’s the whole situation of Dean trying to get Cas to do something he does not want to do. That is what makes Cas uncomfortable in 5.03 at the brothel, not the sex. Cas has shown a curiosity towards sex more than being uncomfortable with it. Even in 10.07 when Cas is bothered by Hannah’s nudity this is more because he knows that Hannah has feelings for him that he doesn’t share then the nudity itself.  

So why isn’t Castiel uncomfortable when Meg kisses him in 6.10? Before he knew Meg very well? This is because this is an example of Castiel’s curiosity. He wanted to understand what he saw in the porn he was watching. So when given the opportunity, he acted part of it out. 

MEG: What was that? CASTIEL: I learned that from the pizza man.

Many asexuals will put themselves in a sexual situation for a similar reason. Even though we may not experience sexual attraction does not mean that we are not curious about what all the hype is about surrounding sex. For example, I myself made out with a random stranger just to try it. It’s part of why I identify as demisexual. Just because Cas kissed Meg and also when he had sex with April, doesn’t mean that he was attracted to them. both of these instances were times when Cas was experimenting with sex.  

CASTIEL Yes, there’s more to humanity than survival. You… look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for that matter. DEAN Where does hedonism come into it? CASTIEL Well, my time with April was very educational. SAM Yeah. I mean, I would think that getting killed is something. CASTIEL And having sex.

Cas clearly saw having sex as part of being human. This is why I think it is important to label Castiel’s sexuality. Just because you are not interested in sex does not make you inhuman. Yes, Cas sees the situation with April in the wrong light but that doesn’t mean we can’t use his reactions to it to gauge what he was thinking.  I think he wanted to try sex just because he was human and he saw having sex as part of the human experience. His motivations had little to do with April herself. Unfortunately, I think Cas’s aloofness about sex prevents him from seeing what April did as rape.  

Hopefully, this helps put some more light on Cas’s sexuality and shows the great example of asexuality that Cas is. 

I tagged some people who I thought may like to read about demisexual Castiel

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