Well Im Going To Have An Interesting Year

Well I’m going to have an interesting year…

ok bud this one seems accurate

My view is, if they didn’t want to get blocked, they’d interact with one of my posts first. I don’t think I’d ever figure it out if they threw a single heart at me first.

it must legitimately be a hard time to be a tumblr user who happens to be a hot lady in a bikini who has never posted anything ever

Heaven is Introvert Paradise, Hell is Extrovert Paradise. Damnation is finding out you were given a house in the wrong one.

Hot take(?), I find “heaven is evil, hell is good/less bad” pretty boring concepts honestly. I think there are ways to explore the complexity of religion that isn’t just some boring, black and white perspective.

Work in Progress.

The Dungeon is a cunning foe; to forget this lesson is to condemn oneself to certain death. Many an adventurer has been lulled into a false sense of security by its apparent brutality, only to succumb to more subtle designs. A clever trap, a coordinated assault, a familiar foe who abruptly displays new capabilities; the Dungeon’s treachery takes many forms. But of all the Dungeon’s cunning tricks and ploys, there are none quite so insidious, nor quite so deadly, as the Poisoned Maiden.

To call her a Maiden is perhaps folly; while she most often takes the form of a comely female, depending on her prey’s tastes, she may take the form of a handsome male, or a striking androgyne, or something stranger still. Nor does she always take a form designed to appeal to the baser desires of adventurers. To some, she takes the form of a matronly crone, offering a taste of home far away; to others, a friendly beast, a source of camaraderie in lonesome isolation. But invariably, the ruse begins the same way: With a simple act of kindness.

The trick seems simple at first: A monster offering a treat, or a place of respite? Surely it is a trap: A poisoned meal, bedding disguising a pit of jagged blades. Surely, if it is not, it is a lure, a gambit to get a foolish adventurer within range of a sudden strike. Surely, if it is not, it is bait for an ambush, and monsters will rush from the walls when the adventurer drops their guard. But the true nature of the trap is far more devious than that.

For, you see, the true nature is thus: There is no deception. The Poisoned Maiden is precisely what she appears to be. Why would she be anything else? The Dungeon has designed her as such: A single piece in an elaborate mechanism far greater than her alone, like the perfect jewel whose weight prevents the arrows surrounding it from loosing until it has been plucked. Were she insincere, her treachery could be seen through. But since she is innocent, she cannot betray any hint of what is to come.

Once marked by the Poisoned Maiden, the Dungeon will lose any hostility it once had towards her hapless target. Why would the Dungeon seek to upend its own designs? It will not make this obvious, of course; the occasional feint or blatant source of danger easily evaded - with the Maiden’s help, of course - prevents this safety from becoming suspiciously apparent. But eventually, as the adventurer drops their guard, so too will the Dungeon drop its.

Which is when the Maiden’s work truly begins.

It’s your first time inside the dungeon. Everyone told you to kill monsters on sight. But so far, the monsters have all been really nice. This Goblin just gifted you an apple.

A new mode of production arises out of the newly networked masses.

Love the ending.

As the gatekeeper of Hell itself, you’re used to hearing “I don’t belong here.” Your job is to convince people they do. So this morning, the last thing you expected was a call from Heaven, about a goody-two-shoes fussing about how they don’t belong inside the pearly gates.