Adrian Canonly Knowing How To Pick A Lock Since He Was 13 Will Forever Be The Funniest Thing Bc I Can

Adrian canonly knowing how to pick a lock since he was 13 will forever be the funniest thing bc I can make things like this:

refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com

Isn't it fascinating how snaters absolutely love Snape's backstory although they cannot admit it because they decided to turn him into a stereotypical villain?

They love that Snape was a poor half-blooded kid. So they take that away from him and ascribe it to Lupin, even though nothing says he was poor in his childhood, while they turn Snape into a new Draco Malfoy.

They love Snape's redemption, his grooming into the DEs, his changement from Death Eater to repentent double agent of the Light. So they take that away from him and ascribe this backstory to Regulus, even though he was clearly a wizard supremacist who reverred Voldemort and doesn't show an ounce of changement from his bigoted mindset, who never contacted Dumbledore although he should have, and whose single, last-minute action of betrayal was utterly useless. As for Snape, he cannot be another double agent, so they erase his story.

They love Snape's elegance and skills as the Half-Blood Prince and Hogwart's prodigious Potions Master. So they take that away from him and ascribe them to James Porker, on the basis that a no-name like Snape cannot be superior to the pureblooded descendant of someone who invented shampoo. Porker becomes the Half-Blood Prince, even though nothing about him is half-blooded or Prince, while Snape becomes a thief.

Admit it, you admire Snape.

regulus: hey severus, do you want me to do a tarot reading for you?

snape: sure

regulus: okay so this one tells me you're a precious angel, this one tells me your smile is heavenly and this one-

snape: wait, these aren't even tarot cards they're just pictures of me?

Sirius: "Snape knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year."

11 year old Severus: "You motherfucking, shit-stained, cunt-mouthed little prick. Your chin looks like a ballsack and your droopy eye looks like the hood of a clit."

11 year old Sirius (crying): "I'm rubber, you're glue--"

severitus incorrect quotes in chronological order of how a severitus story would go part 2

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harry: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it snape's problem.

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severus: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But then they met me.

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severus: I am in charge of this disaster! harry: I have a name, you know.

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Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. harry: And I choose to waive that right! harry: *screaming*

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harry: You saved me! Why? severus: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

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harry: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. severus, deadpan: Well well, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

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harry: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside severus: severus: I swear, if I step outside and all of my mugs are on the front lawn- harry: *Sips tea from bowl*

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severus: ...Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? harry: Your note told me to satanize the house before you returned. severus: severus: Sanitize. I wrote sanitize, Potter.

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harry: Professor, professor! severus, sighing: What's wrong now? harry: Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. severus: Well then, why are you calling? harry: Well… There’s a crisis

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harry, holding a scooter: sev- sir, can I go outside and play with this? severus, making dinner: Whatever. I'm not your parent or anything. harry, running outside: Thanks professor! severus, running out after him in a pink apron screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

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harry: To make up for sending you into a fit of anguish and exasperation earlier, here, have a nice hot cup of tea! severus: It's cold. harry: A nice cup of tea. severus: It's horrible. harry: Cup of tea. severus: I'm not sure if this even is tea. harry: CUP.

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severus : I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. harry: Mine just says "harry no." severus : I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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harry: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Professor Snape and not do the thing, harry: Well there’s a clear right answer here. harry: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

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severus, looking at a photo of harry: I hate this photo. harry: I look so sweet in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. severus : You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. harry: Up to kindness.

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harry: *running towards snape with open arms* severus: *moves out of the way* harry: Hey, why'd you move?! severus: I thought you were going to attack me? harry: I was going to hug you! severus: ...Why would you hug me? harry: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

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severus: What's this? harry, hugging severus: Affection! severus: Disgusting. severus: ...Do it again.

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harry: *Stubs toe* FUCK! severus: Mind your language! harry: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? harry: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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severus : What happened?! harry: Do you want the long version or the short version? severus : Short? harry: Shit's fucked. severus : Okay, long. harry: Shit's very fucked.

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severus: Just be careful, Harry! harry: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Severus! harry: It's everything around me that's careless.

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harry: What’s up? I’m back. severus: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead harry: Death is a social construct.

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harry: ...And if I run at Severus, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. *spins around and sprints at Severus* Comin' in! severus: NOWAITI'MHOLDINGCOFFEEDON'TYOUFUCKINGDARE- *mug shatters, catches Harry*