Today I Was Thinking Of Johnathan, Like How He Would Be Very Soft And Gentle With The Thought Of Him

Today I was thinking of Johnathan, like how he would be very soft and gentle with the thought of him begging you to sit on his face and gently convincing you to squirt all over his face so he can taste you. Like Johnathan would probably beg us to squirt on his face while blushing and you sitting on his face would make him so happy🥺💕

okay but...house husband kink...your husband is all cleaned up and wears cute aprons, makes you cute lunches and hearty meals, rubs your sore feet after walking around the office all day, tells you how much he adores you...and gives the best head when you tell him you're stressed out

Dilf/Silver Fox La Squadra

bc we all need a bit of them in these trying times, amirite fellas ??

Note: Reader is babysitting their child, or is being paid to help care for their child.

warnings: suggestive themes, pretty gender neutral reader but pronouns are gender neutral, older man/younger reader, general sluttiness

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that went hella left

Could I request a yandere villain who’s yandere for his rival’s sidekick.

this. thisss!!

cw. breaking/entering, delusion, force, jealousy, kidnapping, stalking, yandere themes

the first few encounters pulled him into observing you. night, day, evening were all spent watching over you, whether you were doing mundane things or saving the world with the hero, you were fascinating. it felt strange. hatred towards civilians was all he ever knew, and yet here he was smiling idiotically when you would giggle at that particular show.

literally only causes chaos just for your attention. he knows that you’re too good hearted to ignore the cries of the people. it’s what he admires about you, and what he desires to have. although he despises when his rival accompanies you, how can you be a sidekick to that when you can be his partner in setting the world ablaze? all those newspapers have it all wrong, the media has it all wrong. it should be you with all the glory and praise. if you haven’t noticed yet, he’s your number one fan and supporter.

you would mistake him breaking into your home as a means of fighting and using you as bait for the hero, but that is far from the truth. he just wants alone time. to hear your voice, to have your eyes look at him, with no interruptions from anybody. oh how he longs for you to agree with him, to say that he is right and that you would be pleasured to join him. you wouldn’t even need to help him if you didn’t want to, just being by his side was enough. but you weren’t that easily swayed. it must have been the hero’s doing, brainwashing you. they just want you in their lives forever, to keep you away from him. oh how this jealousy burns his blood, that hero must be in love with you too. well nevertheless, he needs to stick to his plan.

obviously you’re taken to his secret lair, and from there you are subjected to his forceful demanding. conversations after conversations, persuading you to join him, or threatening you. eating, bathroom and sleeping would be the only time you have a break from him. and even during all three he somehow slowly inserts himself in those times. he just wants to be with you, attached to you. he loves talking to you. no matter how disinterested you are, his heart never seems to stop beaming at the sight of you sitting right in front of him. or you washing your hair that perfectly cups your face, or when you take a big bite of his meals and even when you stir in your sleep so softly. he knows there’s no going back, he can’t go back, not with these feelings that pull him to you as though he is a marionette and you’re the puppeteer.

How do you think the each of the yanderes of JoJo would react to their darling being caught in an awkward act of escaping? For example, maybe their clothing got caught on a loose nail in the window and they’re practically stuck, trying to open the front gate to freedom for about 5 minutes without knowing their yandere is behind them with an amused face.

Crackfic territory- though if we’re being real, a vast majority of us just have this kind of raunchy-sit-com luck. At least, I certainly do... Some of these are based off experience. 

Bug warning for Jotaros!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Johnathan doesn’t kidnap you, so there would never be an incident of escape in a traditional manner. There is no set place to escape from. So getting yourself stuck in a compromising position while trying to avoid an awkward conversation with the man who’s been openly following you everywhere you go, is only going to endear Johnathan more to you! Though his attempts to preserve your dignity after you tore up your clothes just make it worse...

 Whats an unfortunate tear in your clothes around your crotch to being shrouded in Johnathans mammoth-sized coat? It fit a bit snug on him, but he’s built like a brick shithouse! Its uncomfortably oversized... Just an excuse for Johnathan to take you somewhere private, like your home. So you can change, of course. He promises he won’t do anything untoward while you’re vulnerable. He means it too- Johnathan will remain chivalrous as he chases your affection! You feel it too, don’t you? 

+++

Honestly, given that Joseph is just Like ThisTM, I can see darling doing that thing I did once, where while trying to sneak out the front door, I stepped on some nails from unfinished renovation, panicked, lost my balance, and tried to brace myself on the front window, instead slamming my hand though and breaking the glass. Fell forward because I wasn’t bracing myself against anything, and accidentally shoved my arm though the broken window, getting glass shards stuck all the way up to my shoulder. 

The loud crash of the window breaking, along with the resounding stomp after re-catching your balance on the other foot, wakes up the other people in the house. In my case, I got yelled at for breaking the window, and then its brought up by my family for years as a funny story, but in darlings case its... Actually probably also that?

 At least Joseph thinks the accident is comical- that’s the kind of contrived slapstick bullshit that happens in comics! Come on, baby! It was pretty funny! Shame your foot hurt too much to walk on after Joseph accidentally broke it getting the nails out, but its still a funny story to tell, ain’t it?

+++

Jotaro catches you siphoning shampoo and conditioner into ziplock bags in the bathroom. 

You both just stare at each other for a solid minute, neither saying anything. When you squeeze some more conditioner into the ziplock is when Jotaro snatches the bottle away from you. 

Jotaro came to find you after a swarm of bugs were found inside some ziplock bags behind the couch. He knows he didn’t do it and wanted to ask if you did before being absolutely apeshit over a stand attack, but it all becomes clear with you packing up toiletries: You were planning an escape, and wanted some supplies while you were on the run. That ziplock bag with bugs must have been food you were hiding, and didn’t seal properly, getting the meal infested.

You’re an idiot, you know that? In any case, get in the shower- you’re not wasting the shampoo and conditioner you tried to steal. After which, you’re going to show Jotaro every single hidden bag of stolen supplies.

+++

Josuke is the one where you’re most likely to get caught in the wall. Not the window. Not the gate closing on your clothes and locking you in from the other side. The actual fucking wall. 

See, you thought you were pretty clever, didn’t you? Scratching away at a large chunk of drywall and filling the seams with a putty made of toothpaste and cornstarch. The seam blended pretty well, Josuke didn’t even notice until yesterday! You watch too many heist movies, babe... Its pretty shitty to ruin your boyfriends house, you know? 

Crazy Diamond fixed the wall right as you were going through! Now you’re stuck in the wall, like one of those niche scummy comics Josuke maybe reads... Normally, he’d be a bit worried of the wall fusing to your skin and being permanent, but in this case, he’s not worried at all- not yet he’s not. Josuke is instead focused on how your hips are on one side of the wall- his side... And your mouth is on the other side. And you’re stuck. 

Well, horny teen thoughts aside! Josuke will take a couple tasteful photos to give Rohan in exchange for using Heavens door to write that you can’t be fused during Crazy Diamonds ability. That should make it easier to get you out. Though... Leaving now is a missed opportunity... Say, as long as you’re reenacting stuff-

+++

Giorno catches you struggling to figure out the ornate locks. The saddest thing was, you weren’t even going to get outside of the building. You were stuck sliding panels and spinning the golden gears of the gate that leads to the greenhouse. A place you are by all means allowed to go! If you use your door for it, then you don’t have to enter through the gardeners side full of mulch and manure.

But somehow you got it stuck in your head that since you’re not allowed to use this door, and its got such a difficult set of locks, then it must lead to outside. Sadly, that’s not the case. You’ll be so disappointed when the smell of “outside” is just animal shit and woodchips. More so when you realise that the “puzzle” you’re solving is decor, and not actually functional. You’re just snapping off thousands of euros worth of gold, and playing with it.

Suppose its enrichment, and Giorno can’t take it away from you... Though to save you the embarrassment, he’ll pretend he never saw this. Better yet, that he wasn’t stalking you throughout the villa.

+++

Jolyne... Well, she just can't stop laughing! You got caught stuck in the prison gate, about forty feet up. You actually made it pretty far! And just at the last hurdle, you stopped- some mysterious force yanking you back. Tugging and tugging til you fell back over to the side of the prison. Right at the feet of Jolyne.

What the fuck were you thinking-? In- in an ideal world, how was this meant to go after you got to the water? Break it down for her- go! She just smiles giddy as you explain how your plan was supposed to go, and exactly where it fucked up, hitting your leg playfully as she laughs! And the hits get harder. And harder. 

And pretty soon Jolyne is just fucking beating both fists down your back while Stone Free helps her team you- beating the ever loving shit out of you. 

In a way, you’re lucky she caught you... If Jolyne didn’t find you until after you left, she doesn’t know what she would have done... Don’t you ever betray her again or she’ll give the court a real reason to convict her of murder.