A Quick Step By Step Guide On What To Do If You Come Back To Your Apartment And Find Yourself Locked

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

I'm gonna be a theatre nerd on main here. Okay, the original recording of Christopher Plummer singing Edelweiss was released yesterday and honestly, I just want them to re-release the film with his vocals, not the dub. It feels much more natural and organic to him as a performer. What do I mean by that? Well, the man who dubbed Plummer sounded lovely, absolutely nothing wrong. But with Plummer's voice back in, I noticed subtle shifts in his acting that I hadn't before. The original dub is "Hello I am here and I am singing a pretty song, the end." Plummer's version is "I love my country, I love my family...and I think I love this woman who came into my home." And the tiny shifts in his voice match the expressions on his face and the way his eyes suddenly glint in a different way as the Captain. In conclusion, by God that man could act and he shouldn't have been dubbed in the first place. Maybe that's why he was always reticent to sing it in public.

Happiness Will Come To You.

#The King’s Assassin

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

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