Being Able To Wake Up

being able to wake up

Every weekday so far this week, I’ve woken up earlier than I intended or expected. It’s both relieving since I’ve wanted to fix my sleeping schedule for years but also feels strange since I haven’t fixed the start times of the sleeping quite yet, just the end time. Hopefully I will get both right soon!

The Difference?

Sometimes trying to do the right things to grow feels more like trying to act strong when I’m actually not. The difference between proactive doing and arrogant ignorance becomes so blurred it’s disconcerting.

In the end, I guess the problem isn’t trying to be strong by doing. It’s more of recognizing that my strength isn’t my own, and when I don’t remember this, I essentially cut myself off from my source and run dry. Then, essentially, I am pretending and arrogantly still trying to achieve the same things I could do before in different situations.

So I guess the difference is not in the action, it’s in the heart’s motive and source of strength.

... miles to go before I sleep. 

The English language seriously needs to be less ambiguous, and I need to be at least as tall as my sister.

ydorbnosajy replied to your post: One Bite Short

"i am still a small Asian inside" hehe

I’m still not over the fact that the show was cancelled

Firefly Confession #1

A beautiful Korean folk lullaby I sang once to audition into a children's choir back when I was younger. More recently I've wanted to play it on the violin and arrange it for a chamber ensemble (both of which I haven't had time to do), but this piano trio arrangement does such a beautiful job already.

The cello is perfect for the melody - deep, full of the longing and loneliness of the both the child and the child's mother described in the lyrics. I've always wondered how a lullaby could be so sad, and simultaneously juxtapose the mother's need to provide and the need to spend time with her loved one for whom she provides.

Original Korean:

엄마가 섬그늘에 굴따러 가면  아기가 혼자 남아 집을 보다가  바다가 불러주는 자장노래에  팔베고 스르르 잠이 듭니다  아기는 잠을 곤히 자고 있지만  갈매기 울음 소리 맘이 설레어  다 못찬 굴바구니 머리에 이고  엄마는 모랫길을 달려옵니다 

English Translation: (Loosely translated)

While his mother went to the island to pick oysters The baby was left to watch the house alone And to the lullaby the sea sings He falls asleep upon his arm.

While the baby sleeps peacefully The cries of the seagulls quicken his mother's heart Bearing the unfilled oyster basket on her head, She runs home on the sandy road.