Jade: Azul, MC Wants To Tell You Something.

Jade: Azul, MC wants to tell you something.

Azul: What is it?

MC: ...

MC: You can't have sex. In fact, you should avoid sex.

Azul: ...

Jade: *holding back his laughter*

Azul: Why should I avoid that?

MC: According to my research, male octopus die a few months after mating, while the female dies right after the eggs hatched.

MC: No wonder your parents were not present in your backstory.

Azul: ...

Azul: *breathes in* Are you giving me another reason to overblot?

Jade: I'm sure that's not their intention.

Azul: And also, I would like to add that besides from the fact that male octopus die sooner, there's a higher chance they would be eaten by their female partner.

MC: ...

MC: So it's safest to be gay?

Azul: ...

Azul: Get out of my office.

heard porn bots might be following you guys again. sorry about that. but in some good news i have been gaining many new followers who are real stunningly beautiful women. welcome ladies :)

Crewel: Why are you carrying a huge egg in my class?

MC: I need to keep the baby warm, sir.

Ace and Deuce: *wheezing*

Crewel: If that's a baby, get out.

Epel: MC, I've heard that you were kicked out from all of your classes.

MC: Yeah. It turns out none of them is baby-friendly.

Epel: Even so... How did you have an egg as your baby?

MC: I don't know. Hornton said that he woke up one day with an egg beside him.

MC: Lilia said he's positive that both him and I are the parents.

Epel: Okay. Then where's Malleus?

MC: Oh. He went back to Briar Valley. He needed to inform his grandma about the situation.

Epel: ...

Epel: Like, preparing for a wedding?

MC: Huh? No! He's just there to— Wait.

Epel: ... *laughs*

That, my friends, is a capybara and the blue bird is known in my country as the Gralha-azul, common animals in the northern part of Brazil

it's wild how people outside America lack so much understanding of how car-centric this country is that they can't grasp that subdivisions are commonly built without sidewalks, because there's nowhere to walk

that moment when you realize you're so unlucky that even physics breaks its own laws to screw you over

Trying to get a glass of water but i cant. The water goes up