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~CHAOS IN THEIR BONES~

Chapter Master List

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Season 1 Arc

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Loguetown Arc

Wanted (Pending)

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.

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Season One

Chapter One - Mr Bridgerton

Chapter Two - Empty drawing rooms

Chapter Three - Becoming acquainted

Chapter Four - Roots for friendship

Chapter Five - Diamonds

Chapter Six - Splendid

Chapter Seven - The prince

Chapter Eight - Sparkling diamond

Chapter Nine - Late night scandals

Chapter Ten - Duel at dawn

Chapter Eleven - Ruse to ruse

Chapter Twelve - Beautiful day for a wedding

Chapter Thirteen - Passionate

Chapter Fourteen - Scandals in abundance

Chapter Fifteen - Rhythm of our hearts

Chapter Sixteen - Entanglement

Chapter Seventeen - End of the season

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Season Two

The tag list is full! I'm sorry! I've reached the capacity!

love letters and second sons | part 1.

Summary: The princess is finally ready to debut in society. But before she does, she decides to disguise herself and see the true faces of the ton.

Author's Note: Hello! Yes, I'm here with a wip before finishing my other stuff. The Bridgerton girlies have got me. Congratulations to you all. So before you read this, please read: I Hate Accidents by @i-hate-accidents AND Over The Garden Wall by @homeofthepeculiar AND The Ultimate Deception by @maximoff-pan. These stories are some of my favorites and really inspired this fic.

Warnings for the Series: light sexism in line with the times, light classism in line with the times, mental health stigma, shitty doctor care, smut, suicide attempt (will get it's own warning when the time comes),

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x princess!reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Author's Note: To those who have read my other works, you'll notice that the author Mercutio's stories are something special

My Dearest Ton and Wonderful United Kingdom, 

I am pleased to welcome you all to the start of another social season. Of course, people love and look for love all year round but each year the season just seems to invite love to blossom. I hope all of you find the match to your souls. Marriage is a business but can it not have love as well? A business built with love surely must be a business that tries to last. I ask our respectful citizens and subjects of the United Kingdom to make love a part of their search. 

I would also like to ask about businesses that do not involve marriage or love. How are you? In the business of health, is everyone safe from all sickness? In the business of finance, does everyone have enough to eat and clothe themselves without falling into poverty? Are businesses afloat even if only by a small margin? How are you? Truly, I want to know. If you would like to write to me, please do so. The royal mailboxes should still be in perfect condition. 

Of course, if you have something urgent then I am sorry but you must come to the palace and request an audience. My valets hold all letters for a day or a few out of safety for everyone. But rest assured, I read every letter once received. 

I would also like to say that I can feel the winds of the ton calling me to grace their presence and to stop being rude by ignoring them. Naturally, the wind is very rude to say this and then cut through my dress and chill my bones even when it is snowing. But I digress, the wind is right. The time for introduction must be soon. And a lovely time that will be. I cannot wait to meet you all. 

Yours truly, 

A Not So Young Anymore Youngest Princess Y/N Hanover (Truly, I need a proper surname and not just the name of my father’s house)

My Dearest Ton and Wonderful United Kingdom, 

Would you like to know what I have learned yesterday? I know the Americas are still a touchy subject for some but I hope you don’t mind me talking about it, just to share my studies. Philadelphia is the center of American debate. So many great men (and women that have probably gone unnamed but aided their counterparts in their quest of education) have lived and are currently still living there. 

Going to America simply for a debate sounds terribly dreadful. But what if we had one here that wasn’t relegated to just the universities. An entire city becoming a center of debate seems incredibly foolish, not to mention disruptive to its current residents, but buildings of debate do not seem like a bad idea. 

Even if some feel like they aren’t smart enough, they should participate. Ideas are nurtured by sharing them. May some debates lead to great compromise and understanding and maybe even propositions for laws. 

I, for one, debate with my father every day on which science is the most important to teach to young children and which science can wait until university should they like to pursue that path. He believes all of it. I believe that medicinal science is too much for a young mind and they only need to be taught how to mind their health until they can understand better. What do you think? I am delighted to hear your opinions. Maybe mine will be swayed. 

Yours Truly,

Youngest Princess Y/N Buckingham (I am trying out new surnames until one I like sticks)

My Dearest Ton and Wonderful United Kingdom, 

I apologize if my stance may be radical but nothing in society ever got done if the start wasn’t a little radical. I believe that young women should be properly taught about relations… let me just say it, sex. Not when they are children, no, but when they are about to debut. Consider it. You all know that as a royal, despite being a woman, I have been taught all things. Everyone is aware that I know what sex is. But if I and my sisters were taught sex so that we may be aware of malicious advances and be able to protect our virtue first rather than waiting for our virtues to be saved by someone and risk them being too late, then others should as well. Therefore, I implore all mothers and governesses to teach their young ladies about to debut what sex is. And to fathers who may be without wives, please find any woman to teach your daughters.

I shall return with more radical ideas for a better and more prosperous United Kingdom. 

Yours truly, 

Youngest Princes Y/N Kew 

The printed letters delivered to London, had everyone enthralled in the early morning. Some people that lived close enough to the central town square didn’t bother with the prints and went straight to the wooden pin board there to look at the princess’ handwriting on the original letters. Whenever the Young Princess or the author Mercutio Quick wrote, people stopped and paid attention. 

Princess Y/N was the people’s princess. The one who listened to their complaints and wasn’t cheap on her charitable acts. She was so much like her father, Farmer George. Even with his illness he still ran a good country… when he was in charge. So much better than her eldest brother, George IV. Then again, any royal sibling was better than their eldest brother, even if only by a very small percentage. Everyday the public hoped another child would challenge George the Younger. They would rally their support behind them. 

They were hoping that any day George IV’s daughter, Charlotte, would have an heir. If she was pregnant then it would be so easy for the public to support her and convince either George IV to step down or convince Parliament to present a motion to King George. They would have a ruler and an heir. Charlotte the Younger would be the easiest transition for George IV to understand.

But neither her father nor husband seemed to care about the lack of heir. But the thought of succession and coups and duels was forgotten for a moment to read the Young Princess’ letters welcoming them to the new social season with new balls, debutantes, and drama. 

In the Bridgerton house, the family ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. They were trying to get ready to present Daphne to the Queen while also trying to read the Young Princess’ letters. Benedict laughed as he slapped his copy of the letters. 

“Mother would have a fit if she had to speak with Daphne about sex.” 

“I’m surprised she would even suggest such a thing,” Colin said as he returned to reading the first letter, thinking he might actually write to the Young Princess about his familial concerns and wanting to travel desperately but being unsure about leaving them. 

Eloise finally smiled as she came downstairs with the rest of her siblings. “I for one think it’s rather refreshing. She is right. Our mamas should be teaching us more than just how to meet the Queen… Daphne! You must make haste! Do you think she heard me?” 

Colin rolled his eyes. “She most certainly did. But on the matter of the princess, what is wrong with a woman’s husband teaching her about sex?” 

“Everything is wrong with that.” 

“Hmm.” 

He looked down to reread the paper, wondering if he could understand what the princess actually meant. Even though the letters were left at home, talk of the princess never ceased. How could it? The monarchy’s youngest princess might actually be joining them. Everyone wanted to know what she would look like, not in the face of course. Even her fourth brother didn’t take off his mask until after five months of being introduced to society and he was the shortest time it took to see the royal children’s face. 

“Do you think she will be tall like her eldest sister or short? Plump?” Eloise asked as their carriages started their way towards the palace. “I’d imagine I’d be very lovely and plump if I could be stuck in a palace all day with the most wonderful food imaginable. Not that anyone should ever value a woman based on her body but Penelope has stated that her sisters are terribly upset because all the dress makers have started saying that plump is going to be in fashion once again in only a few years time and by the time they become plump it’ll be out of fashion again.” 

Daphne looked out the window. “I wonder if she’ll look like the Queen or the King. Oh, what makeup do you think she’ll wear? What mask did she have created for herself? When do you think we’ll actually see her face?” 

Violet touched the knees of all her girls. “Whatever she is like, do not be rude and gawk. The poor thing will already have the vultures’ eyes on her all night. If she even comes out tonight. Perhaps it will be at a ball this week. That would be quite a fantastic introduction. I do hope she at least meets us this season.” 

Francesca smiled. “I imagine her dance card would be quite full.” 

“She’d have bracelets of dance cards going up to her arm,” Daphne agreed.  

“But she isn’t coming into society yet. She’s just introducing herself to us,” Eloise said. 

“She’s still a princess royal. A very well-known one at that. There’s no way the men would pass on an opportunity to dance with her. They’d want to start making their intentions known now, get ahead of everyone else.” 

The boys’ carriage was speaking of a different matter entirely. The princess and Mercutio had written to the ton at the same time. With the presentation to the Queen taking up so much of the day, most people wouldn’t be able to read his work until later that evening. Colin and Benedict simply couldn’t wait. Colin sat with his brother as he drove the carriage and read the story out loud: 

“Arsehole,” Cecilia muttered. 

Ignoring the sharp stinging of her backside, she hopped off the bed to find something to put on. All she needed to accomplish was getting back to her room, clothed. She knew there must have been some spare clothes in their dressers. It was just a matter of sorting through which garments were hers and which belonged to the others. She had been sorely mistaken to ignore the three members of nobility behind her, thinking they hadn’t heard her. 

Lovell scrunched up his face, resembling a rat. “Is receiving another punishment something you really care for? Because this attitude you’ve acquired is going to earn you one.” 

“Piss off.” 

“Is that any way to talk to your dominants?” Madison asked, adjusting herself in Tommy’s arms. 

Cecilia scoffed as she walked towards the door, placing one hand on the doorknob. “Lavender.” 

The other three faces fell at the use of that forbidden word. Cecilia’s hand reached up ever so gently and wiped away tears. She wondered if the tears were for her former lovers or for finally realizing her mind was deluded to think she would be with anyone above her station such as Lovell. 

“I don’t want this anymore.” 

“Cecilia.” 

“You never believe that I don’t enjoy breaking our established rules. You only listen to Madison.” 

“Cecilia.” 

“It is clear you both like her more than you desire me. I am down.” 

“Cecilia.” 

“You shall see me around this manor, doing my job as I always have. But that is the extent of our relationship.” 

“Please, just give u—” 

“Good day, Lord Parham. Lord Newall, Lady Wilcher.” 

“Riveting,” Colin said as he finished reading. “Mr. Mercutio has done it again.” 

Benedict nodded. “Indeed he has. I was a bit worried when he announced that he wanted to dabble in the themes of erotic pleasures in his stories but this was just as enjoyable as all the others.”

“Agree… Oh, it says here that they have earned a publishing deal. The penny stories will still come out once a week, chapter by chapter but readers can also purchase a book if they would like to keep the story properly or are in a rush to read it. I for one will be buying the books.” 

“I second that.” 

“I wonder what his next story will be about. Actually, no, I wonder what our dear sisters and mothers can be talking about.” 

“The princess, no doubt.”

”Do you think any of our brothers will approach?” Eloise asked in the women’s carriage, more to herself than anything. 

That made Hyacinth’s face light up. “If one of them marries the princess does that mean we get to be princesses too?” 

“As if any of our brothers even could or want to.” Francesca pulled her face away from the window.

“If anyone is going to bring them to the marriage mart,” Daphne started as she fanned herself. “It would be the princess. Anthony would be a good match for her.” 

Violet laughed, thinking of the idea. “A viscount and a princess are a perfect match.” 

All talk of the princess stopped as they approached. The worst thing that could happen could be a footman overhearing them and mistaking their speech for malicious gossip rather than light-natured and report it to the princess or the queen or even worse, King George himself. They would forever be ostracized from society. 

From upstairs, you watched from a window where you knew no one could see you even if they looked up. How you desperately wanted to be down there. All the men were dressed up and looking like penguins. Handsome they were but still penguin-like in silhouette. And the women’s dresses. Some, while upper class, were of a lower social standing and wore older dresses that looked just as gorgeous as the empire and rather shapeless dresses of today. 

But today was not your day. You actually weren’t sure when your day would be. Your mother and father let their children choose when they would be introduced to society. Of course you all had to wait for a certain age and it had to be a date at the start of the social season but you could pick the day. And unlike your last sibling, you wanted it to be at a ball instead of the selection of the Diamonds. You didn’t even care which ball it would be. Perhaps it was selfish but you did want a day all to yourself or at least a day with you as the main focus. But that wasn’t this year. Or any year perhaps. 

You were excited to finally leave the walls of the palace if you were allowed, having proven yourself capable of not causing an incident. Unfortunately, you couldn’t say you had proven yourself without illness. You weren’t that lucky. You and all your siblings were locked inside until the royal physicians could observe and confirm that you weren’t sick with whatever madness your father had. They didn’t have to observe you. That was also why you picked a ball instead of today. You wanted to prove you didn’t need a chaperone literally holding your elbow. You wanted freedom like your siblings. Freedom to explore that you weren’t sure would get because of your illness. 

After a nearly fatal drowning in the lake — an event your siblings still get chewed out for at least once a month — you started showing symptoms like George did. For you it wasn’t about if you would be as sick like your father. It was about how bad and how quickly the illness would get. 

You didn’t get to see George as often as the others. The doctors thought you shouldn’t be around him for prolonged periods of time unless it was after an episode. They thought that too much exposure would make you more like him instead of better. They wanted to send him to Kew but you promised that you wouldn’t go to his quarters as long as he got to stay at Buckingham. 

Charlotte, silly as it may have been, had hope. They caught your sickness early. Nine was a very young age to almost go mad. Maybe you could be saved from a cruel fate unlike George. They were too late for him but not for you. Of course this only brought jealousy from your siblings who didn’t feel like they got as much affection anymore. Every time you even twitched, it became about you. They could never hate you. It wasn’t like you asked to be sick. But it was hard to be around you. Everyday visits became once a week. Still, you cherished those visits. Like the one yesterday. They expressed their sympathies and hopefulness that you would get to introduce yourself and maybe it could even be this year or maybe this month. 

You could have scoffed. After what you did just two days ago, you were unsure. The daylight came into your room before you were prepared for it and you had been convinced that Buckingham was on fire. You couldn’t be calmed down until you jumped into the water fully clothed. Immediately, you pulled yourself out of the trance but no one really cared. The royal physician had been called anyway and you had ruined all chances of attending the presentation to the Queen. 

“Your Highness!” a voice disturbed your thoughts and your eyes from looking at your siblings’ carriages leave in the morning. Your lady-in-waiting approached you with a paper, an entire pamphlet. “It’s already spread through the ton like a fire. We haven’t read it yet. We figured new literature would be a treat for you.” 

“Thank you, Pandora. Shall we read it in the kitchens this morning when we return home?” 

“Not your room?” 

“I’m so terribly sick of my room and the washroom and the balcony and the bedroom.” 

“You are getting restless.” 

“It’s only a matter of time. Maybe even tomorrow it’ll happen. And soon it will only be a couple of years at most before the mask is gone. By the way,” you said as the two started to leave. “Did you hear about the Feather girl that fainted? Is she alright?” 

“Oh yes, she’s fine.” 

“Good. Have someone send flowers to her tomorrow with an inquiry about her wellbeing after taking such a tumble. Oh and no flowers to the Diamond. I want to meet her myself one day. Now, let’s read about this… Lady Whistledown. She already sounds like an interesting woman.” 

Interesting it was indeed. The maids and kitchen staff hung onto your every word as you read the pamphlet. You weren’t exactly sure how you felt about the pamphlet yet but Pandora was right about one thing. It was literature. Lady Whistledown seemed bold enough to list subjects by name. By their entire name as if she wasn’t afraid of any repercussions. You supposed she wouldn’t be since Whistledown was obviously not her real name. 

It wasn’t the subject of what she published that bothered you. A lot of it was standard gossip that goes around during the social season but it was her personal opinion. She almost seemed to want the ladies she wrote about to have miserable ends like inquiring about Daphne Bridergton’s flame burning out quickly. The lady must know that what she published could ruin a reputation. Gossip is no longer gossip when publicly written down. It has the potential to become fact. 

You slapped the pamphlet against your hand. “Well, I suppose Mercutio Quick from York will no longer be the entertainment of the ton. Sad, and right as I earned a publishing deal too. Perhaps, I should take up a different art. Like making dresses for all my days or learning to play the harp and cello properly so it sounds better than a dying whale according to my brothers.” 

The cook shook his head. “Your stories are very entertaining. Even Lady Whistledown couldn’t stop that.” 

“Thank you for saying that. I am rather jealous that she is penning under a woman.” 

“But you have chosen a name based on your favorite characters, have you not?” 

“I have but maybe I should’ve chosen better. This Lady Whistledown might be making more change for women then I hope to accomplish.” 

At this, the staff scoffed. Pandora cleaned up your dishes from the kitchen island in front of you. 

“Your Highness, with the utmost respect, you are the one who is going to do more for women than this Whistledown. Everybody already wants someone other than your kind brother on the throne. They’re all praying your niece gives them any child so they may protest for her with the added benefit of an heir. They love her and what you write about in your letters make her seem even better. Hell, they love you and they don’t even know you. They listen to you. And with your words, Princess Charlotte the Younger will be on the throne and you will prove women are more than capable of whatever and we might have real change. Is she still on board?” 

“Yes. She hates her father as much as anyone else does. George is nice once you get to know him… sort of. But Lettie approves as long as I agree to be in her court. I said yes of course.” 

“Then it is settled. Thank God we might actually get change in our wretched lives. Now you must wash up and oversee the Bridgerton gowns before they are sent off. Shall we pick certain ones from your wardrobe?” 

“Give the Diamond the one with lace and her family’s colors. Pick whatever you want for the rest of them. Oh and patterns must be on the Feather mother’s dress. I noticed she wears the most ill-favored ornamented dresses but she seems to like them. And put in an order with the modiste, I should like to do this often if this first gesture goes well and the gift wardrobe will need more clothes than it has at present. Clothes for the lower classes as well, nothing that could get them attacked and the clothes stolen off their bodies.” 

“Yes, Your Highness.”  

“And, by the way, I already washed up.” 

“Yes, but now you’ve been sitting amongst smoke and smells.” 

You gave up your fight and nodded as you jumped down from your stool and began the walk to your room. No one was around today. They wouldn’t be for most of the social season as they had other duties, including watching your siblings. Despite your madness, you weren’t the biggest concern at all. It was your rakish brothers in brothels, your sisters constantly leaving their husbands or suitors, and all of them sneaking away. You paused for a moment before walking quicker until you reached your room. 

Why couldn’t you sneak out? Now would be the perfect opportunity. And no one was looking for you. It would be so easy to scale the vines up the garden wall and just have fun for a moment. You washed up quickly and put on a very simple dress — one more like the style of today rather than your father’s time. Grabbing a cloak and your mask, you put them down on the bed before sitting down at your writing desk to pen a letter. The slam of the door nearly made you jump out of your skin. You calmed as you realized it was just Pandora. 

“Oh, good. It is just you.” 

“I have the Bridgerton and Featherington dresses but what do you mean it is just me, Y/N?” 

You stood up, abandoning the letter now that someone was around. “I am going out to see the ton.” 

“What?” 

“It is still dark. I have a map, my cloak, and the mask. And I have a very clear destination with vehicles that will get me back in the most discreet of ways should I need to use them.” 

“Your Highness.” 

“Pandora. I am nearing my introduction to society. You will all have to let me go at some point. I know everyone cares for my wellbeing but my happiness is gone. I am seen as nothing but my illness. Before I have an episode in public like the king, let me meet the ton. Let me not be Farmer Y/N for a brief moment of my life before I am a farmer forever, before I stay in that garden just like Father.” 

Pandora’s mouth shut. She simply locked the door and unlocked the window. “You must return before your midmorning promenade and snack. Since you ate downstairs, I can convince them to overlook your absence of a breakfast request. And don’t take your mask. It’s better if they don’t know who you are at all.” 

She gasped as you hugged her. 

“Thank you, Pandora! Thank you! You are truly the bestest friend a woman could have.” 

“Just go so you can come back quickly and I can have my sanity back.” 

You closed the window, shocking Pandora as you pulled a picture frame off the wall to reveal a staircase that led outside. The door was hidden behind the trellis covered in vines and flowers. You pulled the hood over the cloak over you. The last thing you did was check for your bracelet and if your papers were inside. Until you were introduced to society, all the royal children had bracelets that couldn’t come off unless cut off. There were just in case measures with the eldest two but became necessary after so many nights sneaking out. The bracelet wasn’t going anywhere but you didn’t want to lose your birth certificate. It was your first safety measure. Even if you were kidnapped or harmed, you’d be returned to the palace for a pretty penny. You did pull your sleeves down so your bracelet wouldn’t be noticed.  

You couldn’t contain your smile at the excitement of being out. London was so different without all the noise. The brothels and pubs were starting to close down for their few hours of rest and relaxation. You stuck to streets where you could see all the action but wouldn’t be easily spotted. No one bothered you until you arrived at your destination. 

The footman stood to attention. “May I help you?” 

“Yes, hello. I bring a package from Buckingham House for the Bridgertons, courtesy of Princess Y/N.” You handed him a letter with your official stamp at the end of it. 

The footman’s eyes went wide as he handed you back the letter and ran inside. The Bridgertons looked up at the frantic knocking, pulling slips over Hyacinth and Daphne before telling the footman he could enter. The Bridgerton boys came upstairs after hearing the heavy pounding of their employee’s footsteps running up the multiple stairs. 

“Is there a problem, Marshall?” 

He panted before taking in a deep breath. “The Young Princess’ lady-in-waiting is here, bearing gifts.” 

“WHAT?!” 

The Bridgertons collectively yelled before the scramble happened. You tilted your head when you saw the windows open and a maid shake out some bedsheets. She squeaked when she looked down to see you. You laughed as she ran back inside. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes before you were escorted into the house by a very out of breath footman. The Bridgertons stood on the steps at the end of their entrance hall in chronological order with their mother starting the line at the very bottom step. Nervous smiles graced their faces when you finally reached them. You curtsied to which they curtsied or bowed back. 

You gave them a second to assess you before speaking. Even though it wasn’t true in the slightest, everyone thought the ladies-in-waiting and manservants were reflections of the royals themselves. Not in character or value but in appearance. They figured they could form some sort of picture as to what the young masked royals looked like. If you were ugly then surely the princess was too. You hoped they at least found you to be average looking in appearance. 

Anthony Bridgerton — the new head of house from what you remembered of your studies — stepped from behind his mother to greet you formally. He bowed once again, deeper, before offering up his hand. You settled yours in it to receive a chaste kiss. 

“To what do we owe this sudden pleasure, Mrs…” 

“Keaton,” you lied, just using Pandora’s last name. 

“Mrs. Keaton?” He didn’t recognize the name as one belonging to an upper class member of the ton. He wasn’t sure he recognized the name at all. 

“Apologies, I should explain. The princess doesn’t distinguish in her court, we are all there to work. All women are ladies-in-waitings, all men are valets. Regardless of station, regardless of marriage.” 

“So, I am to take it that my earlier statement was incorrect.” 

You nodded. “Simply Miss Keaton.” 

“Well that sounds like very forward thinking actually. All the same, it is our pleasure to meet anyone in her highness’ court.” 

Violet smiled as she watched the interaction. If her son was close to anyone in the princess’ court, especially someone that seemed so close to the princess as to be sent here, then he would be able to meet the princess with good graces. He’d be ahead of any man by leagues. 

“Princess Y/N has sent me on her behalf. She extends warm greetings to the Bridgertons and the Featheringtons whom I will meet after our encounter. The princess congratulates Miss Daphne Bridgerton for earning Diamond of the Season as well as congratulations to the Dowager Viscountess for raising such a fine woman and to Viscount Bridgerton for chaperoning and keeping the family together therefore allowing his sister to shine.” 

He cleared his throat and started to smile. “Please give the princess all of our thanks for the most kind of compliments.” 

“And she would like to assure Miss Bridgerton that I have not been sent on behalf of any princes. Her brothers will not be bothering you today.” 

They all chuckled when you laughed. 

You set the first box down on the table next to you and opened it. “The princess has brought new dresses for the ball. The Diamond and the rest of her family should have the opportunity to shine with the utmost and wholehearted respect and support of the Crown. Please, enjoy them.” 

The family ran to the table, picking out dresses and suits and matching them to the person’s name on the paper pinned to each garment. They kept singing praises and admiring the outfits. Violet turned back to you. 

“When are you planning on visiting the Featheringtons?” 

“In an hour or so, I must be back before the princess’ morning promenade. She has a very busy day afterwards.” 

“Will the princess be introducing herself this season?” 

“Hyacinth!” Anthony and Violet yelled at the same time. 

You laughed. “It is no trouble. I’m at liberty to answer as the princess’ head valet.” 

“Valet? I thought you said they were all men. They are usually all men.” 

“If the princess should become heir to the throne then she will receive a male valet alongside me. For now, it is just me. The Crown believes someone of the same gender should always be with her should she need to confide in someone about very personal matters.” You took a breath before testing the waters. “Such as affections of the heart.” 

It had dawned on you in that moment that you could spy on the ton. When the time came, you would still have to dance with all the bachelors of the United Kingdom but you at least you would have a better picture of them. You’d have to apologize to Pandora for the countless strokes she was about to earn from you but you couldn’t make this your only time sneaking out.  

Violet smiled, knowing she was right. “Well, would you like to stay for breakfast?” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose.” 

“It would be no trouble at all. We have more than enough room. Eloise, dear, if Penelope is to come over please request that she do so now.”

(part 2)

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Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: After your father finds out you've been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month's time.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

I WILL NOT BE TAKING TAGS FOR THIS SERIES! THERE WILL NOT BE A TAGLIST!

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* = 18+ only

[starting point]

Artichokes - 2 months in and you finally make a friend. ⚘

Fuckin’ Teamwork - If anything tethered you to the world, it was the sound of Bucky’s exasperation. ⚘ &Fuckin’ Legit - follow up to Teamwork. ⚘

[silly moments]

Poetry -  You could be a poet if the world was pear-shaped and upside down.

Crunchy - Bucky usurps Steve’s title of Dorito.

Interrogation 101 - “The field where she grows her fucks is BARREN”  ⚘

Hang Loose - (”Surfin’ USA” by the Beach Boys comes on)

Fox News - ….is misleading

Calm - Bucky no likey.

Hole - That’s the last time he tries to help you.

The Collector - He shouldn’t have asked.

Safety - Oops.

Spit - She’s coming for your left shoes.

Media Exposure - Press conference gone wrong (right)?

Sugar Rush - featuring Peter and Morgan

Aggressively Affectionate - #friendshipgoals

No Regrets - Days off are so peaceful!

Words - He’s gonna eat ‘em.

Shirt - You get distracted.

Bad Dreams - You have one.

Loser - That Shirt™ haunts him.

Cute but Dumb - She’s a professional, Buck.

Ham - Thighs of Betrayal ™

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party - Bucky (sort of) agrees to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, but what he ends up wearing is much worse.

Made - Nat calls it how she sees it.

Prodigy - Stupidsmart.

Unmentionables - How many coffees does it take to be happy?

Fellowship - Whomst the fuck?

Butter - Is not used for cooking.

History - The gang gets internet-intimate.  

[softer moments]

Sad - When you feel bad. ⚘ & Blanket

A Lighter Step - When he feels bad. & A Moment 

Recalibration - When he gets hurt.

Martyr - When you get hurt. & Good Manners

Break/Brake - When someone fucks up.

Like You - When something is unexpected.

Riled - When something is very unexpected (and What Led Up to It)

Killer - When you look good.

Push - When you fight him.

Blue - When domesticity shocks him.

Collide - When you begin to see.

Pandemic - When you get quarantined.

Dummy - When Tony cares in his own way.

On a Roll - When you need a hand.

The Times - When he needs comfort.

[& the end]

Set it Off - When it starts.

It is Knowing* - When it ends.

-

bag of tricks headcanons

-

[others: one-shots masterpost]

rotten to the touch; luke castellan

series masterlist

wc: 3.2k

pairing: pre-tlt luke castellan x f! reader

synopsis: you’re pretty sure you’re an awful person. you’re pretty sure luke castellan is too. and you’re pretty sure you want to make out with him.

warnings: reader is flawed & not the greatest, luke is ... a little dark🫣, small mention of blood, swearing, lots of making out but no explicit nsfw, a bit toxic, & no more more ‘i can fix him’ or ‘i can make him worse’ it’s ‘he can make ME worse’

notes: this is… sluttier than my usual stuff so it’s not as good but i’m trying, feedback is appreciated! also i wonder what cabin we think this reader would be in, let me know where you’d place her im curious :) maybe i’ll write more of her in the future she’s interesting!! and thank you for 100 followers i am so grateful<3 designated song for this fic is crush by ethel cain

You are a miserable, wicked, asshole of a person, and everybody knows it. Including you.

It’s unclear to you why you turned out this way—every reason to blame never satiates the fury searing your insides. All the campers hate you. The counsellors, too. Even Chiron looks down on the viciousness inside you. You are Camp Half-Blood’s black sheep; a mean, bitter person with no love for the people around you. And it’s not just for show. You know you’re rotten. You know the anger will never go away.

It’s evident in the things you think about other people—the way you pick them apart in your head, toss them aside, because they just don’t see it. This miserable, unforgiving world, with children sleeping on wooden floors because the people who created you think you disposable. Because they can just make more of you. More, more, more, until one of you comes out rotten, born of all the ugliness they have inside them. You are the worst parts of Godly blood. The wrathful parts.

Everyone hates you. Everyone hates a person with an unquenchable anger.

But everyone loves Luke Castellan.

He’s a saint at Camp Half-Blood if there ever was one. Handsome, generous, kind. Goes out of his way to help out the new kids and gives them homes in his cabin. He’s the best swordsman in camp by a mile. Shit, you’d even love Luke Castellan if you didn’t know any better.

But you do, and you don’t, and it’s complicated, okay?

Because there’s something you know about Luke Castellan that nobody else does: he’s miserable and wicked, too.

You see it in his eyes sometimes. The way they look at you at dinner, when you’re picking at your food away from anyone else at your table. Something familiar rises in them, and your stomach twists. His body tenses whenever someone mentions his father, but the smiles he flashes are so charismatic nobody notices. But you do. It’s exciting.

During sword practice, he quips back and forth with the kids and laughs whenever they take a jab at him. He’s light, easy, carefree. But you see how he holds back, the tension in his shoulder, the way the arc of his sword never fully finishes. So you wait until everybody leaves and he’s alone, with the training dummies and the setting sun. And you. Hiding.

He slashes through them and spears through their heads. You see it, the gnashing of his teeth, the sweat curling down his cheeks. There’s something there. A chasm he’s hopeless to fill.

Before you know it, you’re going out of your way to catch him training alone. It’s creepy, you know, and awful, you know, but the more you watch him the more you see a sort of violence scabbed under his skin.

Whenever you see him now, the feeling you get is entirely foreign to you. It’s almost . . . longing.

Wherever she is, you’re pretty sure Aphrodite’s having a cosmic fucking laugh. And you’re sure she’s laughing double tonight.

The Aphrodite cabin is hosting some secret party for the older counsellors. You’re definitely of age to be a counsellor, but you’ve never been made one because that would probably make half the campers drop out. Chiron and Mr. D don’t know what to do with you. You’re sure you’ll be kicked out of camp soon for good.

But you’re here anyways, for a reason you don’t want to admit, and you stay tucked in a corner as the world around you mingles. Luke is on the other side of the room, lovely as always, laughing with a few other counsellors. He brings a drink up to his lips, and you have a startling thought of what it would be like to kiss him. And you’re fucked. You’re so fucked. Because for the first time in your life you want something tangible, something real. You want to hear him and feel him and pry him apart, and a part of you wants him to actually see you, see all the awful things that might make you the same. You feel like a teenage girl with a crush, and it is infuriating.

An Aphrodite girl comes up to you with a foolish smile. “Hey, sorry, you want a drink?”

“Fuck off, you idiot,” you snarl.

You wait for her to leave. She doesn’t. “You know, you don’t have to be so mean all the time,” she says evenly. “If you’re here, you might as well enjoy it. So yes, I want to give you a drink.”

“Have you ever thought that I’m not being mean? Maybe I just am.”

You glare at her. She looks you up and down. “Sure,” she shrugs, walking away. There’s a vivid picture in your mind of her falling through a hole in the cabin floor. It doesn’t soothe you, but at least the fantasy is there.

The night drones on. You’re sick of the smells and the laughs and the heat. And you’re sick of yourself. You can’t believe, underneath all your sourness, you came here to stare at a boy you barely know, and you don’t even know why. He’s fascinating, and you resent him, and he’s also beautiful. But he’s looked back at you all of three times tonight and you’re sick of the way your skin crawls when he does.

Leaving the cabin brings the relief of the cool night air, and the singularity of your body. You are the only one who feels this rage. You are the only one who hates.

To stave off your discomfort you walk around to the back of the cabin, to the crest of the hill facing the water. The stars above twinkle at you in spite. There’s a bitterness in your throat you want to wash down with something worse (maybe you should have taken that drink), but you know it won’t matter. Nothing matters. Those stars and whatever they hide are apparently the only important things in the universe, so why should anyone care about anything?

They stars only get brighter. It’s probably their goal to piss you off. You grunt, “Oh, fuck you,” to them. It’s not enough, never nearly enough to expel the rotten part of you. “Fuck you. Fuck off!” You groan at the sky. Nothing happens. Until:

“I’m guessing you’re not having a fun night.”

You whirl around. It’s hard to see in the dark, but whatever light is left catches a long scar on a cheek. Your stomach knots.

“Yeah, me neither,” Luke Castellan says, hands in his pockets as he meanders towards you.

Even when he’s close enough, you don’t say anything. If you do, you’re afraid it’ll be something ugly. Like I kind of want to make out with you. Are you awful too? I need a lobotomy.

The thoughts almost make you laugh. Been a long time since you’ve been funny.

He nods at the sky. “Those things don’t talk. You do know that, right?” He’s still so captivating, so self-assured, even when there’s no one around but you.

“Gods, you’re the worst,” you scoff. You really mean it, so you can’t look him in the eye.

“Then why have you been staring at me all night?”

It catches you so off-guard that you whip back to face him. He has an eyebrow raised and the itch of a smile that makes you burn with shame. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He shrugs, leaning against the cabin wall. “I’m not stupid. You’ve been brooding in the corner watching me the second you came in.” He cocks his head to the side, adding, “Actually, you stare at me all the time. At meals and stuff. I really hope you don’t think you’re being subtle.”

You huff. “Okay, if we’re really being honest here, you started that! You do it too! All the time!”

His hands shot up like he was being arrested. “Hey, I never said I minded it. A guy’s . . . just gotta wonder. What’s up with you spying on me when I’m training alone, anyways?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You watch me when there’s nobody else around. I’m not blind. It’s weird. If you want tips you can just ask me. Or if you like what you’re looking at, at least be upfront about it.”

You speak before you can take in that last sentence, or the way his smile took pride in itself when he said it, or how embarrassed you should probably feel. “You didn’t answer my question about why you started staring at me first.”

The anger (shame) blinding you made you forget how close you are to him right now. Close enough to touch, but not enough to see. But almost there. Almost.

“People think you’re mean,” Luke says after a moment, his dark eyes probing you. The words curl out of his mouth slowly, like he’s choosing them all with care. “You’re rude. You never listen to anyone. You judge everything. They all think you’re awful.” Again, he looks you over. “I’m not so sure.”

“If I’m awful, then you’re awful,” you spit before he can say anything else.

He just shrugs. “Well, I guess that’s why I’m not sure.”

It’s irritating, his calmness. He has the same anger you do. How come he can just . . . shove it down? You try to unearth any fury in his eyes, but it’s too far back. Simmering. “Jesus,” you mutter, “You’re worse than me.”

He looks genuinely taken aback by this. His scar deepens when his brows wrinkle. “What?”

“You’re a pretender—that’s what you are.” It’s your turn now, to step closer, to make his skin crawl. “Look at you. Everyone loves you. You’re this perfect golden boy and you’re sweet and attentive and whatever the fuck but you know it’s one giant lie. At least I’m honest, but you just sit pretty and act like you don’t have that . . . thing that I have. Resentment. Insanity. Whatever you want to call it. We’re the same, but I’m the only one getting shit for it.”

Now, you are close enough to really see him. The patterns on the wood behind him frame the vision of his ever-shifting face. You realize that this, like most things are to Luke Castellan, is a challenge. You also can’t remember the last time you saw him lose one.

But when you play, you play to win.

“You don’t know that,” he dares.

“Oh, I do. You’re rotten, Castellan,” you sneer, index finger jabbed into his chest. You can feel his heartbeat if you concentrate. “And you’re not owning up to it, so you’re also a coward.”

However scathing you look, it isn’t enough. If anything it only makes Luke’s manner more playful. Nothing feels playful anymore. Everything, inside and outside of your mind, feels like constant, exhausting war. Maybe that’s why you don’t slap his hand off you when it wraps around your wrist, keeping it pressed to the middle of his chest. His heartbeat thrums through you.

He tilts his face towards you, grinning, “Then why do you want to kiss me?”

All right. What the fuck. It feels like you’ve been electrocuted.

“What the—what are you talking about?” You blunder, but he knows, of course he knows, because there’s something between the two of you that has been formed and understood by eye contact alone. He can probably read your mind. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you’d like to read his just as much.

He cocks his head. “I mean, you did call me pretty,” he teases, and it’s almost endearing. “You’re pretty like this too.” His other hand comes up to your face, and you’re surprised you don’t flinch when his thumb gently smooths the crease in your eyebrows. “Don’t call me a coward, heathen. Then we’ll both be embarrassed.”

The nickname makes you want to fight, but the touch makes you dizzy. “You don’t want to kiss me, Luke,” you say with all the control you have, which, right now, is increasingly sparse.

“You’ve gotta stop telling people what they want,” he muses. The hand on your wrist traces further down your forearm. The one on your face snakes around your hips. “One of your more disagreeable qualities.”

His words fan over you. That fire simmering in his eyes has finally come to the surface.

“One of?” You challenge.

“You let me make out with you and I’ll give you a whole list.”

You snort, hoping it hides the shortness in your breath. “What a charmer you are.”

His lips brush yours. “Well, that’s what makes me so rotten, isn’t it?”

There’s hardly time to unravel if that’s a question or a statement because you grab a fistful of his shirt and he kisses you. Your heart detonates. It is not rotten in the slightest.

His body is warm and firm. You smell the cabin wood and the drink on his breath. It all matters, and none of it does. You’re warm everywhere as he wraps both arms around your back, and the way he kisses is, unfortunately, exactly how you thought he would. Your hands are tentative in his hair. So is your mouth on his. But Luke is so deliberate in the way he kisses that you know he’s thought about this, too. It makes you all the warmer.

His hand takes your jaw and tilts it up. You know your neck is shaky with breath, and you’re pretty sure he’s admiring it. You don’t complain when he presses a kiss to your jaw, then another one, like he’s testing the waters. “You’re so nice like this,” he mutters almost to himself, thumb running across your neck. “If only people could see you.”

“Then they’d see how mean you are too, no?” You huff. “You don’t want that.”

Another kiss to your jaw. “Not yet, sweetheart.”

Whatever feeling is harbouring in your body right now, it’s so fulfilling it almost makes you uncomfortable. You want to reject it. You’re not supposed to want things. Worse, you’re not supposed to get things. Luke starts marking a path down your neck and you are so determined to enjoy this that you’d kiss a fucking baby if someone asked you to. You might as well be a saint.

He bites the pulse point on your neck, sure to leave a mark, and a shudder rips through you. You’re pretty sure the bastard starts laughing. You hit his shoulder in retaliation.

“Easy, heathen,” he reprimands in your ear, and you know he’s still smiling.

“Don’t—don’t call me that.” You hate that you start to smile, too, and that your stomach burgeons with butterflies when he pulls back to look at you.

He touches the corner of your upturned mouth, kiss-bitten and red. His expression is boyish. “Hard to when it makes your face do that,” he goads. “I thought it was impossible for you to smile.”

“Be quiet.” You thread a hand through his camp necklace and bring him closer. You can almost taste his mouth on yours, but he sweeps past you at the last minute.

He gently tugs your earlobe with his teeth and whispers, “Yes ma’am.”

Fuck him. Seriously. You might have to.

It’s a tangle of teeth and hands and smiles kept hidden, as you slip your fingertips beneath his shirt and he does the same, and you’re both angry and greedy and incredibly destructive, but it doesn’t matter yet. Now you’re just teenagers fooling around at the back of a party, and it’s the first good thing either of you have had in a long time. Luke leaves you gasping whenever his mouth hits certain places, maybe too many places, and he teases you accordingly. “So sensitive,” he taunts, pressing his knee between your legs so he can see you squirm. You rake your nails through his scalp and he tilts his head back to groan. It shuts him up for a while.

He bites your neck until you say his name. You trace lines on his stomach till he takes your hand in his own. You’ve been hungry for something your whole life, and you finally have something to sink your teeth into. For better or for worse.

After Hades knows how long, laughter floats out from the front of the cabin. Sounds of feet tripping over each other and muffled goodbyes. You pull away from Luke, chests heaving together. His hair is wild, his shirt crumpled, and he looks entirely satisfied with it. Smug little shit. “Party’s letting out,” you mutter.

“What a damn shame.” His hand rubs your jaw, and it’s too tender a gesture so you angle your head away to peek over the side of the cabin. You barely pay attention to the kids straggling back to their bunks.

“Is now the time you tell me all my horrible qualities?” You ask once you’re ready to look at him again.

He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Actually, I came up with more since I said that so I’m pretty sure it’ll take more than one night.” He fakes a wince, “Might have to spread it out for a few days.”

You roll your eyes, “Oh, you ass.”

“I’ll give you one for starters.” You feel like a tornado when he kisses the juncture between your jaw and your neck. “Your hands are too cold.” They’re tucked underneath his shirt right now, pressed against his back. You don’t move them. “And,” he adds, “you’re incredibly crass.”

“Thanks, dipshit.”

“Thank you for proving my point, heathen.”

The commotion at the front gets louder, and you know your time to go undiscovered runs short. “You meet me again tomorrow, and I start telling you the rest?” He raises his brows.

The prospect both repulses and excites you, although perhaps they’re hand-in-hand. You tentatively reach up to trace the scar on his face. A faint, jagged line that holds scripture within it. His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “Even though I’m rotten?” You ask, and there’s an echo of mischief in your voice, too.

He’s got a strange expression when he looks at you. “That’s not true.”

He leans down, angles his head to kiss you. It’s slow, but bitter, and he bites down on your lip until you’re pretty sure there’s blood. “Luke,” you murmur, and he kisses you softer. You lean into him like a hapless, lovesick fool.

After you part, he loosens his grip on you. The bumbling campers have gotten louder. He stares at you, and you see the chasm in his eyes again, brimming with fire. Same as yours. You know you’ll see him tomorrow.

He says, “You’re not rotten. You’re right.”

And damn it, you really do believe him.

ROTTEN TO THE TOUCH — M. LIST

pairing: luke castellan x fem! reader

synopsis: you are rotten. a heathen to all mankind. luke castellan is, too. it’s unfortunate that you can’t help but want him. it’s unfortunate the world will suffer for it. one touch, and the worst spawns of godhood have cursed the future forever. but for now, you get to make out with each other, so who cares?

warnings: hot awful people being hot awful people, spice/nsfw mentions, language, dark topics, cw’s on each chapter. you get it. they’re bad people and it’s fun for a while!!

all related musings/thoughts/asks about the series can be found under the tag rotten to the touch !

i. rotten to the touch | you’re pretty sure you’re an awful person. you’re pretty sure luke is too. and you’re pretty sure you want to make out with him.

ii. bitter to the taste | a sharp blade, a black eye, and (more than) two kisses.

one year with luke castellan

↳ june 14 with percy jackson

series masterlist

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of apollo!reader

word count: 2.9k

summary: luke uses percy’s struggle to find what he’s good at as an excuse to go see you

content: set 5 months after the first part, the obligatory sparring scene

notes: i know the request meant “fight” as bicker but i weighed my choices and thought itd be funnier to watch them square up

Percy watches as Luke gives an amused look back at the archery fields behind them.

Certainly left a lasting impression on the Apollo kids, Percy notes grimly.

As they all recuperate from their near death experience at his hands, one of them gets into proper position with their bow. They take aim once, twice, three times. Each shot is so accurate the last two arrows pierce the first down the middle.

He swallows. “That’s gotta be fake, right?”

Luke laughs when he realizes what he’s talking about. “The precision is genetic. I’ve seen one of them shoot a fly out of the sky once.”

Percy whistles. “You got a bunch of Katniss Everdeens out here.”

Luke gives him a firm pat on the back, but Percy isn’t too sure he understands what he’s talking about. “Sure.”

The two of them soldier on. He swats at a mosquito trying to land on him, trying to ignore how itchy his ankles are from the tall grass. It’s so muggy and warm out, and Luke’s been dragging him around all afternoon, just to find disappointment at every turn. Percy’s beginning to wonder if he’s even a real demigod, or just a normal kid they accidentally brought in here.

“If you’re not great at long distance fighting, we could always try close contact,” Luke says encouragingly, but his words do nothing but inspire dread in his chest.

“I’m not so sure that's such a great idea.”

A crowd of campers rush past the two of them, hollering and cheering about whatever accomplishment he’s sure they’ve achieved. Percy could not feel more out of place.

“C’mon, you never know,” Luke insists. “My aim’s pretty terrible too, but I’m pretty unbeatable with a sword.”

Percy tries not to scowl. Luke Castellan being terrible at something wasn’t even something that seemed possible.

“You think you’re terrible because you can’t land a bullseye every time? I almost just skewered a bunch of archery professionals!”

Luke at least has the decency to look sheepish about it.

“That’s what I thought,” Percy scoffs, but it comes out sadder than he’d hoped.

“Cheer up,” Luke says, a sad attempt at lifting his spirits. “We’re almost at the training area.”

His own words seem to put a newfound pep in his step. After a quick glance at his watch, Luke’s already long strides seem to grow even bigger, leaving Percy speed walking to catch up.

Up until now, Luke had taken care to point out the various sights of Camp Half-Blood. He’d call attention to anything interesting the two of them would pass, like a spot where something funny has happened, or a hidden spot with a nice view. But now, he seems to be in a rush, bypassing building after building.

They don’t slow until they near the Athena cabin, when the armory comes into view. Campers walk in and out of the building holding various items, all looking completely at ease. Percy wonders if he’ll ever feel like that with Riptide. Sure, he’d used it just fine when it had come down to it, but he’d felt like a little kid with a plastic Lightsaber.

One of the campers leaves the armory with a spear that’s taller than Percy. A kid that looks even younger than him swings around a weapon with spikes, something vicious swimming in his eyes.

When they get closer to the door, Percy’s surprised to see that Luke chooses to move right past the building completely.

“Are we not going in there?” he asks.

Luke stops in his tracks as he turns around, a little confused. The expression on his face makes it look like he’d forgotten about the building completely.

After a second, his mouth falls open. “Oh, right.”

Luke gives another quick glance down to the watch on his wrist, a little nervous, like he has somewhere to be.

Percy realizes what his rush is immediately. It stings.

“You said lunch was at twelve,” Percy deadpans. “You’re stuck with me for another hour, so, sorry.”

“What?” Luke looks genuinely confused, but Percy isn’t buying it. “I’m not eager to get rid of you, dude. I was just checking the time.”

“Sure.”

Luke looks sympathetic when he throws an arm over Percy’s shoulder. When his steps start again, they’re thankfully much slower.

“I was checking to see if it was better to do weapons now or later,” he explains. “I’m pretty sure there’s a class going on down at the training area right now, and I thought you’d want to save the weapon handling for, uh… A time where there’s less people.”

Percy evaluates his words. The collective “No!” the Apollo campers had shouted down at the archery fields when he’d asked if he should try again echoes in his ears.

Maybe waiting for later is for the best.

“You’re probably right,” Percy admits, and Luke claps him on the back again, giving him a reassuring look.

“I have a good feeling about this one. And you shouldn’t get yourself down because you haven’t found what you’re good at yet. No one’s good at everything.”

Percy thinks about what someone had said about Luke’s unrivaled skill with a sword. And then he thinks about the way Luke’s arrows barely strayed from the center of the target.

“Except for you, I guess,” Percy says.

This makes Luke grin. He nudges him good naturedly. “I guess so.”

The two of them get to the training area in no time. It’s big — even bigger than the space cleared out for the archery field. The majority of the space seems reserved for those with weapons, a few racks set around with different sized equipment hung up. The clashing of swords and all sorts of metal slices through the air, making the entire place sound like a battlefield.

When the two of them pass by a few of the campers, Percy can see a fire in their eyes that burns bright and clear.

Luke’s making a beeline for a pavilion off to the side of the field, which is filled with a dispersing sea of people in orange. It’s clear that whatever class had been going on is over — campers leave in small groups as they talk amongst their friends.

“Hi, Luke,” a girl that passes by says. Percy has to blink when she literally twirls a piece of hair around her finger.

He gives her a smooth grin. “Hey.”

Someone calls his name and Luke greets him before the two of them do a long and complicated handshake.

Percy has the feeling that this is what it’s like to be a younger, way less cool brother.

By the time they reach the wooden structure, almost all of the campers have cleared out. There’s only about three of them left standing by the mat in the center of the room, so Luke leans against one of the wooden posts and motions for Percy to wait.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” you say, waving away two girls Percy assumes are your friends.

You watch them go for a few seconds before your eyes find the two of them, waiting quietly.

Your face pulls into a smug grin, much like the one that Luke had on earlier. “Castellan. Did you come back for more?”

He rolls his eyes, amused, before he gestures to the boy at his side. “This is Percy. He’s new, and I’ve been showing him around.”

You seem to light up. You reach your hand out for him to shake, your grip firm and solid.

“It’s nice to meet you Percy,” you say, giving him a big smile. “Is it true that you defeated the Minotaur?”

Wasting no time at all, it seems.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his head nervously. Your eyes are kind, but your stare is really intense.

“Pretty cool. And on your first day, too!” You jab a finger back at Luke. “It took him a few years before he did anything interesting.”

“Hey—”

You cut his protest off. “So what brings you two here? Surely you’re not here to watch me beat Luke up.”

“We’re trying to find what I’m good at,” Percy answers. He scuffs his shoe into the floor. “It’s uh… not going too great.”

“Have you tried sword fighting?” you offer. “Your track record’s looking pretty good already.”

Percy deflates. He would need another miracle for that to happen again.

“I think that might’ve been a fluke,” he admits.

You give him a bright smile. “Don’t sell yourself short, Percy. But if you want, me and Castellan can show you some hand-to-hand. And then you can try after us.”

He turns to face Luke, who seems almost excited at the idea. “That good with you, Percy?”

His eyes flicker between you both. In both of your eyes, he sees the same bloodthirsty fire he’d seen in the battling campers earlier. It seems you guys have already decided for him.

He nods anyway, just to be polite.

The two of you move quickly, shifting the mat over and clearing the surrounding area. You even go as far as asking Luke to help you move a bench that’s deemed too close to the space you’ve cleared out.

“I’ll try not to embarrass you in front of the kid,” you say.

Luke drops his half of the bench for a second, making you drop forward with its weight.

“We’re trying to help Percy find his thing. Save the real fighting for later,” he reminds you, and you mumble his words in a mocking tone.

The two of you stand side by side as you toe your shoes off. Luke tugs on the back of your shirt before you step on the mat. “Be nice.”

“I am.”

Luke’s words remind Percy of the whole reason they’d come here in the first place. He’s trying to find what he’s good at, but by the way you two are amping yourselves up, he doubts he’s going to get any actual training in.

“Nothing serious,” says Luke. “I can always hand your ass to you later.”

“You can try.” You crack your neck and then your knuckles, the popping sounds loud and vaguely threatening.

Both of you go through the motions of stretching and warming up your muscles before Luke beckons you forward. You begin to circle each other on the mat, your gazes locked firm on the other.

“Do you guys have rules for this?” Percy asks.

From what he’s heard of Capture the Flag, the camp seems pretty lax on issues with bodily harm.

“The basics,” Luke says, not even glancing at him, “no hits below the belt or to the back of the head.”

“And no maiming or killing, obviously,” you add.

Luke smiles. “Sunshine likes making everything free game, though.”

You match his grin with your own. “It’s more fun like that.”

Finally breaking you and Luke’s staring contest, you turn to look back at your one man audience. “I’ll show you a simple takedown, Percy.”

“Or I will,” Luke points out.

You roll your eyes, giving Percy a look that says, Can you believe this guy?

When you turn around, you reach out to touch your knuckles to Luke’s, something Percy’s seen boxers do on T.V. But that’s as kind as the fight gets. You rush forward immediately.

Percy almost can’t believe how fluid your movements are. It’s the first fight he’s seen up close, besides the little scraps he’s seen at school before. But those are absolutely nothing compared to this.

The two of you move so quickly he can barely understand what’s happening. His eyes barely register you moving to strike Luke’s face before he’s blocking your hit and countering with one of his own. His hits rain down fast and hard, but you manage to meet him blow for blow.

You duck and weave out of his way, catching his fist when it comes dangerously close to your face. After a bunch of close calls, he lands one good hit on you, and Percy is shocked to see how fast you recover, barely reacting.

Both of you seem to be able to recognize what the other is thinking before either of you even acts — you make an aborted move with your hand and Luke laughs, despite how out of breath he is.

“Remember what happened last time you tried that?” he goads.

Your stare hardens. You duck under his arm before he can clip the side of your face and you seize his wrist, twisting it backwards at a painful angle. Your free hand moves to shove his body forward, putting him in a bad spot. Percy sucks air through his teeth in second-hand pain.

Luke groans in discomfort, but with his chest now lower to the ground, it allows his free arm to easily wind around one of your legs, tugging you straight off your feet. You stumble, losing grip on his arm, and—

Luke is the one that hits the floor.

Percy rises to his feet so fast it pushes the bench back.

It’d been so fast, he had missed it completely. Even as he tries to play it back in his head, he can’t pinpoint how you’d managed that while you were tipping backwards.

You don’t waste a second, moving to pin him immediately. You capture his arms, and the way you force your entire body weight onto Luke’s back makes it nearly impossible for him to sit up without use of both of his arms.

Whatever magic move you’d pulled worked.

The fight is over.

…

For a second, at least.

Luke must start using muscles Percy has no idea exists, because the roles are quickly reversed — he shoots up so fast it has you careening off of him. And by the looks on both of your faces, neither of you even expected that was possible.

Before the wind can come back to your lungs, he pins your arms with a hand, using his other to block your knee that almost winds up somewhere very painful. You squirm around for a few more seconds, trying to slip out of Luke’s firm grasp, but all three of you can see it’s useless. You groan loudly when Luke begins to grin.

“Ah, fuck,” you try to mumble under your breath quietly, but Percy can still hear it.

Luke releases you, sitting off of your legs and letting your arms go. His voice is light and teasing. “What’s it now? A hundred thirty-four to a hundred twenty-nine?”

“I’m at a hundred thirty-two. You aren’t that good.”

“My bad.”

You shove his face away from you as he laughs. Luke pushes himself up and tugs you to your feet, and you knock your knuckles together again in respect.

He moves over to a cooler by the edge of the pavilion as you sigh, stretching out your arms. You rub your jaw as you hiss quietly, and Percy remembers that good hit Luke had managed to get on you earlier.

“You’ve gotten a lot better,” you say to him. “Remember when you would hold your hands like, all the way down here?” You get into a stance that must look atrocious to you, because you laugh at the sight of it.

(Percy has no idea what’s wrong with it.)

Luke rolls his eyes as he walks back from the cooler, holding a bunch of ice cubes wrapped in a cloth. “Alright, laugh it up.”

“You’re lucky I was kind enough to help train you.”

“Of course. You were so kind you even made me ten times better than you.”

You make a face. “You’ve won twice in a row and forgot how to act. I’ve made a monster.”

He puts the cloth to your face a little more harsher than probably needed.

“It’s like I’m Frankenstein,” you continue after wincing. “And you’re my evil creation.”

Luke cocks his head. “I don’t think Frankenstein was creating anything. Wasn’t he a monster?”

“What? No.”

He hums. “I’m pretty sure I would remember. Frankenstein’s the green monster.”

“No, dumbass, Frankenstein’s the guy. Frankenstein’s monster—”

“How long did it take you guys to learn how to do that?” Percy asks.

Both of you turn to face him abruptly, and he gets the feeling that you’d both forgotten he was here. You’re quick to shove the cloth away from your face and towards Luke’s arm. He presses the ice to a spot there.

“A long time,” you say. “When I first started, everyone would wipe the floor with me. But I practiced hard, and barely anyone can beat me now.”

Percy’s eyes drift to the figure behind you. “Except for Luke?”

You frown a little. “Yeah, I guess.”

Luke whistles. “You guess?” He walks over to you and Percy, a smug look on his face. “I currently hold a hundred thirty-four wins to her a hundred thirty-one–”

“—Thirty-two—”

“—wins. I’d say we’re pretty evenly matched.”

You try to swat Luke away like he’s a fly. “Anyways. No one’s born good at this stuff. It takes everyone a while to learn.”

Earlier, you had taken down Luke so fast Percy hadn’t even realized you’d done it. And Luke had been strong enough to lift you straight off of him without using his arms at all. Percy’s sure it would take him a lot longer than a couple years to get that good.

“And you think that I could get good like you guys?” he asks.

You smile at him genuinely. You squeeze his shoulder, and Percy has the feeling that he’s about to get some really good advice.

“Trust me. If Luke can get this good, that means anyone can.”

Fed up with your trash-talking, Luke wraps one of his arms around your neck as he drags you back to the mat. With some dramatized yelling, he threatens to WWE bodyslam you into the floor if you don’t take back what you’d said.

Oh.

No wonder Luke had been in such a rush to get here before.

notes: yes i wrote this part half asleep ❤️ i hope my sleep deprivation did not stop u from enjoying!

tags:

1 year: @marshymallo @ghostisstuff @tayswiftlovebot @dangelnleif @bipstargirl @fearlessmoony @lyssaluvs @badcoping @dorcas4meadowes @surftrips @inejwraiths @lizziesfirstwife @randomnpc456 @pleasingregulus @supercutszns @superswaggycooch @teatimedisaster @liviessun @otchae @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @softtina @mermaid-mqtel @liv1104 @spacedilflvr @solarstar00 @poppysrin @annybah @pookiebear16 @awenthealchemist @locknco @obxstiles @nexxus13 @starxqt @cinnamongirll-444 @gisellesprettylies @toffeeprincess4 @wreckmyimage @mayadisaster @tenshis-cake @phtogravi @viavee123 @motorsp0rt @yummytootybutt @rishtish @luna-moon180 @thisfridaynight @pariahsparadise @nininehaaa @shamelesssuitstark

Chaos in Their Bones Ch.8

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 30.8k

A/N:  Whelp. Here she is. The beginning of the climax. A gigantic piece of a chapter that hopefully has everything you all hoped it would be. Just know she is hefty. If there are any errors or anything I will have to die on that hill. So many important things happen this chapter and I can’t wait to see how everyone is feeling once you’ve read this hefty hefty girl. I did take some inspiration from the Salem Witch Trials. You’ve all been warned. And as always: Thank You. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you all do. I hope you all continue to enjoy it 🖤 Much Love, Jenn

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6 Previous

Warnings: mentions of torture, use of OPLA dialogue, swearing 

Zoro could’ve gone a whole lifetime without ever having to see this clown again. By the way Usopp and Sanji weren’t acting the least bit surprised to see Buggy, it informed him that they must have seen him already. And if Usopp and Sanji met Buggy did that mean you had, as well? When would that have even happened? 

Zoro’s brain struggled to think about how the clown had even shown up at Baratie. It didn’t take him long to realize that he must have come on the back of one of the fishmen that attacked Baratie. On one of the fishmen who’d taken you. Buggy was back to trying to spit the sand off his bottom lip and, for the first time, Zoro thanked whatever high and mighty power was listening that they had one last moment of silence. 

“It doesn’t get any easier looking at him like this.”

“He’s even more of a pain in the ass when he has all of his parts,” Zoro retorted. “Be grateful it’s just the head.”

He was still trying to decide if he shouldn’t just stuff him back in the bag and throw him overboard. Buggy’s…neck was bouncing around the table as if he was looking for something - someone - specific. Zoro could feel a fresh surge of irritation rush through him just before the stupid clown opened his mouth. 

“Why is it such a sausage fest all of the sudden, huh? What happened to the ladies? Did they finally come to their senses and realize what a group of shit-tastic waste of time you all are?”

“Why is he still allowed to talk?” Sanji asked, walking around the other side of the island. 

“Because he is going to tell us where to find Nami and Doc,” Luffy replied. 

He looked so hopeful. Zoro wished he could share the same feeling, but he wouldn’t trust this clown within an inch of his life. But if it meant whatever information he gave led him to where you were, well…

“And my body! Don’t forget about my body.”

“Your body comes at the price of information, Bungy.”

“Oh, for crying out loud! It’s Buggy!”

“No one cares about your name, clown,” Zoro bit out. “We just need the coordinates.”

When the cold blue of Buggy’s eyes scaled over him, Zoro felt a new ripple of irritation run across his skin. He fought not to shake it out of his body as he continued to lean against the island. The ache of his wounds grew with each passing second, and with every expanse his chest made when he took a breath reminded him he wasn’t a hundred percent. 

He thought by the grin that slid over Buggy’s face that the clown was going to comment on his wounds. Throw more salt in an already painful reminder. As it turned out, what Buggy had planned to say was much, much worse. 

“Don’t worry lover boy I’ll get you back to your little sweetie pie. Wouldn’t want you both to miss out on any unnecessary pining! Am I right?!”

His obnoxious laughter filled the galley and it reminded Zoro of nails on a chalkboard. His jaw ticked like a time bomb while he watched the clown look around the cabin at every other face. When he realized no one else was laughing he quickly stopped with a grumble. 

“So, where exactly did Arlong take them?” 

“Arlong’s found himself a little slice of heaven on the Conomi Islands. The perfect base between every adjacent island to it and Marine base stationed close by.”

“Why would anyone, let alone a pirate, want to be close to a Marine base?”

This came from the waiter. Zoro felt his eyes flick over to where Sanji stood. It was the same spot he’d been in the last night he’d seen you. The night he’d told Nami she didn’t have friends - that they weren’t her friends when that was the farthest thing from the truth. Zoro could recall the look of disappointment - the outrage - that flashed behind your eyes as if you were standing there right now beside him. 

Zoro gave a light shake of his head to bring him back to the present. His body turned to mirror the waiter as a fresh wave of pain blossomed in his chest. The wound no doubt seeping fresh blood while he positioned his arms out against the island. He needed to stay focused and not on past memories he couldn’t change. 

“It’s a great plan as long as you pay a Marine captain to turn a blind eye.”

Zoro’s voice still sounded like he’d gargled with glass and tried to speak over the cuts. Lack of use and too much sleep would do that to someone. 

“Ding, ding, ding! Lover boy buzzes in for the win.”

“Stop calling me that,” Zoro snapped. 

His eyes lifted up from the island to bore into Buggy’s moving head. What was more frustrating was his words didn’t seem to worry the clown one bit. 

“Just calling it like I see it champ. Although, I must say, I’ve heard some cold blooded denials in my time - specifically said to me - but never anything as gut wrenching as that.”

“Shut. Up.”

“No wonder Doc ran into Arlong’s big fishy arms-“

“I said shut up!”

What the hell was Buggy even talking about? How could he have possibly even known what was said between the two of you that night? The way it had torn him apart inside to tell you that you weren’t wanted - that he didn’t want you - when it was the farthest thing from the truth. He had his dreams and promises to keep, but what good was any of it if you weren’t here?

Maybe he didn’t deserve you or your forgiveness for what he’d done - what he’d said. Zoro couldn’t lie and say if he went back in time anything would change. Could he be selfish enough to tell you how he felt and ask you to wait? 

Since he’d woken up, besides the haunting news of you leaving had resided inside his thoughts, so did the memory of your body caving in on the Merry’s ramp. You looked so broken - your chest noticeably collapsing with every rapid breath you took. All he wanted to do was comfort you and he’d tried in his own way. Instead, Zoro knew he might have broken you more in a different way. 

That moment was the first time in his life he wanted to forget about honor and shame. To drop everything and run to you because the regret of not telling you the truth about how he felt about you weighed heavier than any shame ever could. His regret ate at him with every waking minute until it burned molten with rage and threatened to turn his words into venom. 

Underneath that was the fear of what if they reached you too late? 

Zoro refused to entertain those thoughts. Whether you could forgive him or not, Zoro knew one thing was certain. He would bring you back home. 

“Okay, okay, Romeo god you know the hair is attached.”

Zoro hadn’t realized he’d rushed forward towards the clown. That he clutched his head with his fingers holding him tight by the blue strands of his hair. Luffy was there. A calm hand on his wrist and speaking to him lightly to let the clown head go. He released him and quickly moved back to the other side of the island. Away from Usopp and definitely away from where that waiter had moved up beside him. 

He needed a drink. 

Zoro was vaguely aware that they were all talking. That Luffy had placed the clown back inside the black bag and was saying something to all of them. It was time to make a plan, but plans were Nami’s thing. 

“That’s your thing, right? Plans?”

Why did he give a shit about her? It was her fault that they were in this mess. The reason you no doubt went with Arlong. Sure, Zoro knew you did it to save Luffy. He always knew you were the type to sacrifice yourself for others without even blinking. It’s what made him absolutely crazy. Underneath all that though, he knew how close you were to Nami. You saw something in her the same way Luffy did. 

As much as you went to save Luffy, Zoro knew you went to save Nami too. 

He finally ripped open a crate and found bottles of his beer untouched and waiting for him. He couldn’t grab one fast enough to uncap it and bring it to his lips. He was still drinking when Luffy came to the edge of the island and looked around at all of them. 

“With Buppy’s help we’ll get the coordinates to the Conomi Islands. That’s our first step.” 

“Okay, but how do we know he isn’t just going to lead us directly into a trap?” Usopp asked. 

“Man has a point.”

Zoro took one last large gulp from the bottle at the sound of the waiter's input. 

“Whether we like it or not, he’s our only chance at finding them. We’re going to have to put a little faith that he wants his body back enough to get us there. We’ll deal with whatever else happens when we get there.”

Zoro found a spot to rest his back against the cabinets. His focus trained on Luffy. He was always so sure of himself. When plans went to shit he didn’t panic. Luffy just went with the flow believing that everything would just work itself out somehow. Zoro wishes he could share in that kind of optimism right now. 

“And what if we just get there and Nami leads us into another trap?”

He didn’t want to be the one to say it, but he wanted to be realistic. It could happen again. She could use you against them. Against him. Without missing a beat, Luffy looked over at him and softly smiled. 

“Nami won’t do that.”

“You don’t know that,” Zoro shot back bitterly.

“Just as much as you don’t know if she will,” Sanji barked back in reply. 

His eyes narrowed in on the waiter with the bottle tapping against his thigh. 

“Last I checked, you were here to make sandwiches. Not give an opinion nobody asked for.” 

A scoff exited from between Sanji’s mouth as he looked away from him. Zoro could see the tick in his jaw. Sanji seemed to be fighting not to reply with a heated reply back to him, and he was proven right when Sanji looked back at him. His shoulders squared up and with icy blue eyes as defiant as Nami’s were that night they shared their last drink. 

“Guys, we don’t have time for this,” Usopp huffed. 

“You’re right. I’ll be a better man and move on. For now.” 

Zoro was most definitely going to kick him overboard the first chance he got. 

“I’m going to take Bungy to the deck and start getting the coordinates. Usopp, if you can join me in a few.”

“You got it, Luffy.”

Luffy grabbed the bag and it quickly erupted in muffled ramblings from the clown inside. Zoro couldn’t catch much, but the mumbling sounded like a lot of bitching about Luffy saying his name wrong. Repeatedly. All three of them remained where they were with no one seeming to want to move. 

Usopp stepped out of the way as Sanji began to remove his coat. His hands rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt as he moved inside the kitchen as if he’d been there for years. It sent a fresh surge of irritation coursing through Zoro’s body, and he tried to quill it by finishing the beer that was left in the waiting bottles. 

He was reaching into the crate when he heard the waiter speak again. Your name rushing past his lips like the guy had the right to fucking say it. Zoro’s thumb flicked the lid off the beer and the force sent it flying across the room. 

“What did the waiter just say?”

“This waiter,” Sanji snapped back, “just asked what you possibly could’ve said to make her break like that.”

“How about you worry about whether the eggs are too runny.”

“Doc deserves to have someone love her back the way she loves them.”

He hated the way he said your name - your nickname - like you were close friends. As if he’d spent time with you while he was asleep. Maybe he had and that made Zoro’s eyes practically bleed to dark pits. 

“You’ve been here all of five minutes. You don’t know shit about what’s going on-“

“I know enough to say that if you do that again to her Mosshead, I’ll be the one there to pick up the pieces.” 

Sanji’s words sliced through his own to silence whatever Zoro was going to tell him. The man didn’t flinch as Zoro took a threatening step towards him, while he pulled out another pan and grabbed a bag of rice.

“You won’t be going anywhere near her-“

“Hey Zoro, not to but in-“

“You’re butting in.”

Usopp swallowed around his need to flee and stood his ground. Zoro had to give him props for that. He was sure he looked ready to slice them both in half at any minute.

 “But maybe this could all have been avoided if you’d just told Doc how you felt.” 

Zoro looked away from them both. His eyes scanning every inch of the galley as he tried to imagine telling the woman who joined up with Arlong he had feelings for her. That all he wanted to do that night in the galley when you stood in front of him blanketed in moonlight and stars was to kiss you. To lace his hand into that stupid corset shirt Nami let you borrow and keep you locked in a place where you couldn’t run away. Not anymore. Not ever again. What he settled on was, “I’m not good at talking. I hit things.”

“We know,” Usopp and Sanji both blurted out together, equally sounding like different pitches of annoyance. 

“You’re a waiter. You don’t know anything about me, and you sure as shit don’t know anything about Doc.”

“I know a big green-haired idiot who would allow a beautiful and talented woman get away from him when I see one.”

Yeah, Zoro was going to have to do something about this waiter. Every time he mentioned anything about you, it made him want to throw Sanji over the side of the Merry. He’d been wanting to do that since they left Baratie, but he’d been holding back the urge because he’d already knew what Luffy would do. Now though, Zoro felt like he could take whatever scolding Luffy might give him just to have the satisfaction of watching Sanji tread water. 

“I’m willing to bet I also know more about her than you do, at this point. Since, you know, talking is hard and all.”

Sanji sent a shit eating grin in his direction and Zoro hadn’t realized he’d started moving around the island until Usopp appeared next to him. A heavy, “Whoa, okay guys,” practically squeezed out of him with his arms lightly raised as if he was too scared to actually spread them out any farther to keep the two of them apart. 

“Come on, guys. We have bigger things to worry about then squabbling between each other. And if Sanji even knows anything about Doc it’s kind of my fault.”

But Zoro did know you. Maybe not in the way of your life story of your past, but you weren’t your past. Zoro knew of your present and that included the way your lips parted when you were deep in thought. The way you would begin to fidget when you weren’t sure what to do with your hands when you weren’t working on medicines or patients. He knew your favorite place to sit at night was the stern of the ship when the gusts of the wind from the push of the oceans waves sent your hair flying up around you like midnight flames. 

Sure. Zoro didn’t know much about your past, but he knew the fine details of who you were now, and that’s what mattered.

Zoro just looked at him. He wasn’t sure if Usopp expected him to verbally tell him to continue, but Zoro was quickly hitting his word limit for the day. He only responded by lifting his beer to his lips and drinking. 

“I may have brought up the time that Doc was magically dropped off by a siren from the sea.”

Zoro could feel his eyes slowly blinking. The lip of the bottle pulled on his bottom lip as he waited for Usopp to bust into his usual large grin that told him plainly he was joking. The only problem? Usopp was just staring at him waiting for his reaction. 

“I thought it was a sea witch?”

“No, no,” Usopp replied to Sanji, “Doc says sea witch because that’s what the kids called her. She likes it cause it also makes her sound scarier than she is. I say siren because it makes it more exotic and sexy.”

Zoro could tell his face was probably colored in confusion. The only remedy was another drink of beer. 

“When was this ever mentioned?”

The minute he asked, Zoro instantly regretted it. Instead of Usopp answering him, the waiter felt compelled to continue bugging the shit out of him. 

“It was brought up while we were doing all the hard work and you were getting your beauty sleep.”

“The hard work of losing half the crew and almost letting Luffy die? Yeah, you did great.” 

He knew he hit a sore spot. Usually, by now he would see the sharp intake of breath as Sanji prepared himself to respond. This time he focused on measuring out the rice. It was well and good with him. 

The silence suited him just fine. Zoro was tired of the back and forth. It wasn’t making him feel better. It wasn’t fixing the situation that they were all currently in, and it most definitely wasn’t leading him any closer to finding you. Suddenly, he felt like he needed to leave. He wasn’t sure if he was actually tired or if his lack of control of his emotions was starting to take a toll. 

He didn’t need to lose control in front of them. 

Without saying a word, Zoro turned and headed through the galley’s doors. He couldn’t move as fast as he wanted, but it didn’t stop him from making quick work across the deck to the safety of his room. He was vaguely aware that Luffy was calling to him from somewhere. He didn’t have it in him to look up for him - to see what it is his captain needed. 

He made it around the corner of the door and into the short hallway of the crew quarters. His room was close. He just needed to go a few extra feet and he would be in the loving embrace of his hammock and-

His hand stopped short on the doorknob. His forehead leaning against the wood of the door and the rush of his warm breath touching across his face. 

When did he start to hyperventilate? 

No. He didn’t do this. He didn’t react like this so why was he? Glancing over his shoulder, Zoro felt his heart pivot down to his knees. A flurry of emotion moved inside his chest as he struggled to glance past the ghost of you that was staring back at him over your shoulder. 

You thought you were sly. You probably thought he didn’t notice the way you lingered at the door just a few seconds more after you’d told him good night. Zoro was sure the look was meant to be innocent, but the feelings it stirred inside him were far from it. 

How many times had you whispered across the small space between you, “Sweet dreams.” How many times had he wanted to turn around and grab your hand? To pull you to him and trap your body between the wood of his door and his body? Too many times. 

Zoro expected to hear the soft sound of your voice telling him the usual night time routine you’d started. His body even waited before pushing inside his room just in case he’d hear you. Zoro knew it wasn't possible. 

You weren’t here. 

His body fell into his hammock with the Wado Ichimonji clutched in his hand. Zoro was struggling to get comfortable, which usually never happened. He was known for being able to get comfortable practically anywhere, and his hammock was one of his favorite and easiest places for him to usually fall into and sleep. 

Not now. He couldn’t get his thoughts to turn off. To quiet down long enough for your face not to flash behind his eyes every time he closed them. He’d placed the Wado on top of his chest. A hand still clutched to the sheathed blade as he tried to play it cool. His free hand tucked behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling of his cabin. 

“Sweet dreams, Zoro.” 

It was three simple words but the way you’d looked at him as you spoke them…

That look wasn’t simple. It was wrapped in longing and begged for him to stop being a coward and unwrap it. 

Coward. 

That’s what he called you once. What did that make him now? Zoro could feel his heart hammering against his chest demanding he make the decision to get up and move. To cross that threshold of only a couple feet and knock on your door and push you back inside the way you’d done to him the very first time you’d meet. 

Zoro could still remember the shock of your hand shoving against his chest. The way you’d confidentially kicked the door shut behind you. What he recalled the most was his favorite thing now to see on you: the warmth of a blush creeping up your cheeks. The realization of what you’d done, the uncertainty, flickered through your eyes like a shooting star. It was so bright, he thought you would back up; turn tail and run. You’d surprised him by staying. It’d surprised him more when he was glad you did. 

Before he realized it, his feet swung out of the hammock and walked to the door. The Wado still clutched in his hand, but the other was now wrapped around the knob of the door. 

He could do this. He would tell you that he felt the same. He would no longer steal glances at your lips and wonder what they would feel like against his. He would claim them as his own the minute you opened that door. 

But he couldn’t, could he? 

You weren’t here. The ache of something missing in his chest was real.  Zoro had missed his chance, and the reality was he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get a second one. 

Chew came in shortly after Nami left. 

His entire body reeked like a distillery that had swallowed a smaller distillery whole. You wondered if he was attached to every bottle he came in contact with or if it was just impulse that kept one in his hands at all times. On a better day you might have asked him, but currently every time your mouth moved it cracked open fresh new cuts on your busted lips. 

Your right eye was almost completely swollen shut. The only plus side to not being able to see out of both eyes was the fact it had happened gradually. You could still see a sliver of light through it; just enough to see the tip of Chew’s boots as he stopped in front of you. Your good eye opened just in time to see him crouch before you. His large lips taking in the tip of his latest bottle and taking a deep pull of the liquor it held within. 

“You think you can still make medicine looking like that?”

“I don’t know,” you croaked. “If you hit the other side of my face it might make it hard to see.”

“Ha! You’re right about that.”

You hated the way he smiled like it was a joke. The way he carelessly took another sip and the easy way he was able to get up and leave. Although, he wasn’t leaving yet. If he was here it meant Kuroobi would be there soon riding on the curt tails of Arlong. 

Chew moved around you in a tight circle. His eyes scan the bindings of the rope around your arms and wrists as if you somehow magically found a way out. There wasn’t an ounce of you that didn’t wish you could break your bindings like the magician who’d come to the Gecko Islands that year for Kaya’s birthday. Sure, you knew it was all bullshit, but you would’ve given anything in this moment for it to be real. Even just a little. 

Everything hurt. 

In the few moments you had left before Arlong arrived again, you needed to take stock of your current injuries. While your right eye was like a golf ball in size, it wasn’t broken. Nothing on you seemed broken yet but you knew it was becoming a dangerous possibility. One that Arlong seemed to know how to dance around perfectly. 

You weren’t sure what they had planned for you with your upper body tied up in ropes, but you knew it wasn’t good. People, or fishmen, didn’t do this to someone unless they planned something incredibly unpleasant. Lucky for you, you were invited to a private party with you being the lucky plus one. 

Yay you.  

Chew moved to sit on one of the steps just as the double metal doors were shoved open. Arlong made his usual grand entrance and you weren’t sure who exactly it was for. It’s not like you could actually see him coming in with whatever dramatic flourish he was hoping for. 

“I hope you were able to get a good night's rest,” he chortled. “You’re going to need all the strength you have left for what I have planned.”

“And what is that, exactly?”

“Patience. You’ll find out what I have in store for you. All in good time.”

You weren’t sure why seeing Kuroobi stand behind Arlong like a bodyguard bothered you as much as it did. The way the man made sure to stick his fins out farther to make himself seem bigger, more imposing than he already was. You still held a grudge for him using you as a battering ram to open the door. The bruises that scattered themselves along your arms and part of your back told the tale of that encounter very well. 

But who was Kuroobi trying to protect Arlong from? You?

“Of course, maybe you could save us the trouble if you just tell me what you are.”

Confusion colored your vision as you looked between the three of them. You were positive your brow would’ve creased if it could, unfortunately your skin could barely move past the swelling that was your face. 

“Okay. You’ve piqued my curiosity. What the hell are you talking about?” 

Every time Arlong smiled it made your stomach twist. It had to be one of the most unpleasant things you’d been forced to look at. His smiles never came from something lighthearted or joyful. Arlong’s smile came from the depths of the ocean; from where sea monsters buried jolly rogers and their men. It promised violence instead of warmth and currently it was always directed towards you. 

“No, no, see you don’t get to play coy any longer. Not after what you did.”

What did you do? What could you have done that was so bad to make them see you as a threat? Cry? Vomit on their shoes? 

You weren’t Luffy or Sanji when it came to being a fighter. You definitely weren’t scary and a damn good fighter like Zoro. You also didn’t have a knack for making special ammo for a slingshot like Usopp. The only thing you were capable of was turning the helpfulness of plants into medicine and, sometimes, making poisons out of them. Something you’d promised yourself you would never do. So, how were you supposed to take Arlong seriously when they acted like a bunch of scaredy cats? 

Maybe you could use this to your advantage.

“You know what? You’re right, Arlong.” You hoped you sounded braver than you felt. “And if you don’t want to experience what happened again, but worse, I suggest you untie me. Or, you know, spooky things will happen.”

They all looked at you as if you’d gone insane. No one made a sound for a split second before Arlong, Kuroobi, and Chew burst into laughter. 

“Eh, that was good, that was good. For not even a second did I believe a word you just said. But…we have ways of making you talk.”

The last few words growled from behind his teeth as he took a few steps towards you. As if you needed any reminding on what kind of individual you were dealing with. 

“You can beat me all you want. I won’t be able to make anything or do anything for you if I’m too dead to do it”

You prayed you sounded braver than you felt. You weren’t a particular fan of what was currently going on. Although, you weren’t sure anyone would claim torture was a good bonding exercise with your new captain. 

Gods, you really missed Luffy. 

“Oh, I’m not going to kill you. Yet.”

“Well, that is extremely less comforting than I’d hoped,” you mumbled. 

Arlong began to walk towards you but in the presence of your voice he stopped. You forgot how much he loved just hearing himself talk and how the sound of anything else was an act of defiance. 

“I won’t kill you until you can answer one simple question for me.” Arlong paused for dramatic effect. His words sink into the corners of your mind to dig up a fresh wave of curiosity. He waited long enough to know he had you before he finished with a smile, “What are you, girl.”

“Wait. What?”

You could feel your good eye blink rapidly along with every thought that bombarded you in trying to make sense of what he just said. You looked down at your body to make sure that you were still a person. That you had two arms, currently wrapped behind your back, and was still wearing Nami’s spaghetti strap shirt she’d given you. So, it begged the question: what the fuck was Arlong talking about?

“Do you think I’m stupid because I’m a fishmen? That I wouldn’t be able to see a snake trying to work its way onto my property?”

“I’m literally just a human.”

“Just a human can't do the things you did in here yesterday.”

Again, you looked around the room and wondered if at any time someone was going to pop in and say this was a joke. A part of you hoped that was exactly what would happen because the more you stared at Arlong the more you realized the current danger you were in. He must have seen the thought drive itself home because that sickly smile crept back on his face. 

“I. Am. Just. A. Human.”

You tried to drive every word home with a metaphorical hammer. Each one ladden with irritation but underneath that was the blinding dread that something very bad was about to happen. 

Your suspicions were rewarded as Arlong closed the last remaining space between you. His large webbed hand reached out to painfully wrap around your face and yank your head upwards to look at him. You wanted to appear defiant. To pretend that with each passing second that he tightened his hands on your face it didn’t make you want to scream as your jaw felt ready to fracture. 

All your bravery dissipated as his hand closed tight enough around your jaw it sent the inside flesh of your cheeks to slide across your teeth. Instantly, a soft cry of pain filtered through the open gap of your mouth and Arlong smiled. 

“Go ahead and keep lying. The water’s edge will be the only thing filling your lungs for a while. See if the ocean wishes to reclaim you.” 

If Arlong hoped his words would elicit some sort of confession out of panic to save yourself he was wrong. The only thing it did was spark a fresh wave of fear to wash over you. It was a palpable thing. You could feel it worming its way ínside your chest, threatening to make you sick. You didn’t care if the sadistic smile that grew on his face came from that sickness. He enjoyed watching the currant of emotions that rushed through you. Everyone one of them stemming from the terror of being placed anywhere near water. 

You could still recall seven-year-old you willingly following the older kids to the beach. The way a fresh wave of hope brewed in your heart that maybe - just maybe - they were finally going to play with you. 

Coben was the one that started it. First, it was just a joke. Something sharp and cruel that reminded all the other kids in the group you weren’t like the rest. You didn’t belong. 

“I hear the ocean at nights been crying. Crying because one of her children is missing. If you listen now you can hear her saying a name.”

He created a seashell with his hands and began to call your name inside the echoing walls of his palms. You could still remember the way the hope shattered and the panic quickly filled the pieces. The warning of adrenaline coming all too late that Coben and the other kids never intended to let you play any games with them. 

You were the game. 

In seconds they were on you. A centipede of hands grasping at your arms and legs to bring your struggling body to the water. They’d dropped you fast a few feet into the waves - allowing you a millisecond to lift up from the rush of a wave to gasp for air - just before Coben’s hands at your throat shoved you back down. 

There were moments still when the feeling of water rushing into your lungs startled you awake at night. Your hands frantically moving around you to make sure you were safe in bed. That the sheering burn of pain in your chest was a terrible memory. 

You’d almost died that day. You should’ve died if it wasn’t for Usopp. 

You didn’t hear him or see him run up screaming. You just knew one minute Coben’s preteen hands were wrapped around your throat, and the next, you were up ended with Coben as Usopp slammed into him. 

There was no one else to help him. If the group turned on him he would meet the same fate as you, but he didn’t care. 

You were too weak to pull yourself out from the non stop crashing of wave after wave of fresh water. Your mouth vomiting up fresh salt water and bile while your lungs burned at the feeling of air. 

“Get out of here! Before I tell!” 

It wasn’t hard to see Usopp was scared. It was apparent in the saucer size stare of his eyes as they shifted back and forth between everyone. His homemade slingshot pulled back at the ready and loaded with another sharp rock. You’d thought Usopp had shoved Coben off you, but it wasn’t until he’d risen from where he’d collapsed at the ocean’s edge that the blood from an open wound was traveling down the side of his face. 

A fear like ice gripped your heart for those few seconds as Coben seemed to calculate his next move. If they tried to attack Usopp, you would do whatever it took to make sure he made it home to his mom. You didn’t have to worry about any further confrontation. 

“Come on boys. Let’s leave the freaks to themselves.”

Usopp waited until he was sure that they’d all left before he’d dropped his arms. His hands quickly put away his slingshot while he rushed to your side. It was Usopp who saved you. Who pulled you out of the water and held you as you’d sobbed. 

Unlike all of his other memories Usopp turned into stories of his grand adventures and heroics, this was the one story he never retold. 

What Arlong must have thought was that you were afraid it would make you talk or you would magically become something you weren’t. He didn’t know that what you feared more was your lungs being buried alive under fresh saltwater. He didn’t know what you’d feared most was dying all over again. 

“You are fucking crazy.”

Your words came out rushed and on the edge of a sob. You hated yourself for the sheer terror you let out, but it couldn’t be helped. All the resolve you’d built up the past few hours dissolved so easily at the mention of water. Your arms thrashed in their bindings as you moved to stand, but where would you go? You’d forgotten your ankle was still chained in place. 

The minute you moved Arlong was on you. His large hands grabbing at your shoulders and yanking you to stand on your feet. You weren’t sure if it was Kuroobi or Chew who released the shackle from your ankle but it didn’t matter. You couldn’t see past Arlong and his eyes that gleamed with a sadistic glee at whatever he had in store. 

“I’m not crazy. I’m a fishman with a vision, which you seem to lack. Allow me to help you to see your potential.” 

Of course. 

Of course, Arlong would want to use you for whatever it is you could do. Whether it was medicine or not. It didn’t matter what you said to him now. You could see looking into his eyes that he believed whatever he thought he’d seen and no amount of pleading from you would change your fate. 

“Come, little fish. It’s time for your baptism.” 

His sharp laugh cut through the silence of the room. You fruitlessly tried to make another run for it and found your feet being lifted off the ground and a sharp scream of pain sparked inside the room. Kuroobi held the rope that had been fastened between your wrist to use it to lift you up at an ungodly angle. One that forced your arms to go backwards up above your head. If Kuroobi wanted to, he could easily dislocate both shoulders from how they strained at whatever angle he tried to make them go. 

Arlong took the lead. He always did and like good little henchmen, Kuroobi and Chew quickly moved to follow. Kuroobi made sure that while he held you suspended slightly above the ground it was enough to allow your bare feet to drag across the floor. They’d taken your shoes the second time they’d come in. You’d expected them to take the shirt Nami gave you; maybe all of your clothes.

But Arlong said he was merificul and let you keep at least that. 

So, as you all made your way down the stairs and outside into Arlong Park the skin of your toes and top of your foot caught every loose rock and broken glass that laid scattered around from their partying. With each piece of glass that dragged across your foot your teeth grabbed at your bottom lip. All in a weak attempt to keep yourself from crying.

You were vaguely aware of the laughter from his men. They all seemed to find equal joy in your torture. In seeing how their captain brought the silly little humans to their knees and treated them like trash. It was something you could understand. You’d come to help them. To heal them and keep them from dying a slow and agonizing death. 

And yet…they enjoyed seeing your agony. Some of them even spit on the ground Kuroobi dragged you on. You could feel the growing need to cry growing in your chest. You’d done so good by not shedding a single tear for them, and suddenly being dragged around like useless cargo was what threatened to make you break. 

You wanted to go home. 

You wanted to see your Naan again. The desire to have her wrap you in her arms and slightly rock you as her fingers swept through your hair. The way she tucked your head under her chin and soothed you with a quiet humming tune of the nursery rhyme she sang to you since she found you. Naan would tell you to let it out. 

“There isn’t any sense in keeping it all bottled in to let it fester.”

But she also was scared of something. Whenever you got too angry - too sad - she would soothe you down the same way, but her words would change. It was never about letting it out but always about burying it deep down and trying to forget it. 

But how can you forget this, Naan? How could you forgive this?

The desperation that had begun to brew inside you was threatening to spill over. You were tired of being strong when your outcome was so uncertain. When your outcome seemed to only grow bleaker by the minute with no promise of sunshine in sight. 

Kuroobi gave a jolt that sent a fresh wave of pain through your spine and this time a small cry from that pain escaped your lips. It was so sudden you didn’t know a tear had broken free until you felt it skidding silently down your cheek. A name you were sure was Naan’s pressed to the back of your teeth and when you exhaled it released. 

“Zoro.”

His name came out in a shaky breath. A soft sob follows right behind it. It should’ve surprised you that it was his name your heart called for, but it didn’t. As much as you wanted to save yourself, a big part of you wanted him to come and save you too. Because you knew Zoro’s type of saving burned hotter than the flames of hell and consumed everything in its path leaving nothing left. 

“Where are you going with her?”

You knew that voice. You couldn’t see her. Not with your bad eye facing the direction she was coming from, but you knew it was Nami before she finally sprang into view. 

“Nami. Your friend and I are just going down to the water for a little swim.”

You felt sick. 

The panic crashed against your ribs and you didn’t know how to silence it. You didn’t know how to keep from swinging your arms in Kuroobi’s grip to try and see her. Even if it meant another blast of pain was sent to every nerve in your body. 

“She’s no use to us if she’s dead.”

Nami appeared stoic; her face empty and unmoving like her words. Or that’s what she wanted them to believe. For you to believe, but you caught the worry she tried to hide in the ice blue of her eyes. 

“I’m not going to kill her. She has information she seems keen on not sharing. I’m only going to see if she feels like talking once we get down to the ocean.”

Nami’s eyes ticked briefly in your direction. You wanted to ask her how you looked and if it was as bad as you thought. You were pretty positive you weren’t going to be winning any beauty pageants anytime soon. 

Normally, you would’ve tried to hold her gaze in a feigned act of defiance. You needed them to think she made you hate her and that you were a fool for choosing to come with her. You couldn’t hate Nami even if you tried. So, instead you turned your eyes away and looked down at the floor. It allowed her to stay in character too and pretend you were nothing more than a nuisance. 

“Make it quick,” she spit out. “A couple of the guys have been waiting for her so-called, “cure,” and are growing restless.”

At the mention of his dying crew mates, the smile of satisfaction Arlong seemed to wear like a badge frayed at the edges. The sadistic gleam in his obsidian eyes hardened to something that was impossibly more frightening. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she keeps her hands and that squishy little brain of hers.” Arlong gave Nami one last look before he signaled for Kuroobi to follow him. “Let’s make this quick.”

Kuroobi moved insync with each step Arlong took. A puppet guided by an individual string that compelled him forward with your body strung up like a yule tide duck. You couldn’t see Nami take a step forward, but you felt it. The anxiety on her face made her eyes frantically searching - thinking - of what she could do to save you. 

There was no saving you, however, and you knew this. Softly, you shook your head. Just a small shake. It was so small if you blinked you would miss it, but you knew Nami would notice. Just like she noticed almost everything else. It was all the strength you had in you to let her know to let you go.

Don’t make more of a fuss. 

That’s what you hoped your one good eye was able to plead with her. If she did, Arlong would begin to suspect she cared more about you than she’d originally let on. You couldn’t allow him another chance to wound her further than he already had. 

It was amazing how fast they moved. One minute, you were inside the Arlong Park compound and the next Kuroobi was dragging your feet through the scolding hot dirt roads. You wished this walk was as pleasant as the first. Yeah, the circumstances were the same, kind of. You were a hostage but at least, at the time, you were a hostage who got to enjoy the small things. Like the views. 

The second time around leaving the compound wasn’t how you thought it would go. Sure, the likelihood of it turning out like a novella where a knight in shining armor - or a moody green-haired swordsman - magically showed up to save the day was slime to none. It was a nice thought. As nice as thinking Arlong was magically going to grow a conscience and let you and Nami skip away out the front door. 

While your current predicament wasn’t what you wanted, you still at least got to take in all the striking orange of the tangerines that were scattered for miles. It was when the grove finally came to a stop and the trees turned wild and large that you knew you were close. 

You tried to prepare yourself and to let yourself believe maybe there was a way you could magically get out of this. But you knew your fate was sealed the minute the crash of blue broke over the treelines. All the resolve of bravery you tried to build up in the wonderland in your head came crashing back into reality. 

Suddenly, you were counting each sinking step of Kuroobi’s feet as they moved across the sand. The way the waves grew closer and the seagulls called out your impending doom. It wasn’t until you were mere feet from the wet sand that a sharp cry of, “No!” burst free from between your lips. Not caring about the eruption of pain that came when you tried to wiggle yourself free from Kuroobi’s strong grip. 

“There is no point in trying to get away. You sealed your fate the minute you decided to lie.”

“I haven’t lied to you, you fucking lunatic!”

You knew it wasn’t smart to answer him that way. It probably wouldn’t be smart to do it in any normal circumstance either, but you were past trying to stay pleasant. You had a strong feeling it wouldn’t matter if you kissed his ass and promised to pluck every rainbow out of the sky for him, you would still be where you are now. 

On your knees in wet sand inches away from the entrance to the ocean. 

“I know what I saw!” Arlong’s voice roared as he stalked over to you. A hand grabbing at your hair and using it to anchor you up to look at him. “You can call me crazy all you want but you human’s have always lied to our faces. You made empty promises that rang as hollow as the bullets you placed in our backs.”

“I get it,” you seethed through your teeth. “They were mean to you. Boo hoo! It doesn’t mean that all humans are like that.”

“You are all the same! Every last one of you is full of lies and you!? You are harboring something, girl, and I will find out what it is. Even if it means I have to bleed it out of you.”

“You believe what you want, but I know who I am.”

“Is that so?” 

You hated it when Arlong smiled like this. Like he knew a secret you didn’t and the information was only meant to benefit him and no one else. 

“If you believed that, there wouldn’t be so much fear in your eyes. Allow me to drown out all those unnecessary thoughts for you.”

Arlong moved quickly to grab you by your arms and drag you towards the waters edge. Your feet struggled to stand up to move with him; to bury themselves deep into the sand and attempt to put up some sort of fight. 

It was a losing battle and no matter how much you screamed and tried to turn your body out of his hold, you felt the first shock of cold against your skin. You knew once Arlong was in the water it would only be a matter of seconds for him to take you out. Fishmen were known for being faster than sound once they entered the water. You had no chance of fighting back as Arlong’s moved inside the water. His hand on your arm keeping your head below the water and secured in place so the waves couldn’t take you. 

The water filtered through your nose in seconds. The burning of saltwater in the back of your throat teleported you back to being that same terrified little girl. 

All I wanted was to play…

That time you had your hands and your nails to scratch and claw up at Coben’s face. You weren’t afforded that same luxury this time. You were quickly reminded that your arms and hands were hog tied behind your back. Your shoulders shaking violently to try and break free as your mouth finally opened, your lungs screaming for air, only to be greeted instantly by the suffocating rush of water. 

Arlong found a perfect spot that left you feet away from the edge of the shore. You knew he found the perfect spot because that was when his hand released your arm and was replaced by his large foot. He pushed you down and down until your back touched sand and even further until you could feel the sand digging into the still fresh wound of the brand on your back. 

The flare of pain caused you to scream. Your eyes watching as the last bit of air you had bubbled up to the surface. The only thing left for you to inhale was the saltwater of the ocean, and Mother Ocean was merciless in the way she wrapped her fingers inside their tissue and squeezed. 

You knew it was pointless to try and wiggle yourself loose. It just wasn’t going to happen with his foot keeping you trapped to the ocean floor. Just as fast as Arlong had placed you under he suddenly pulled you back up. When your face broke the surface you tried to take in a greedy breath, but instead your lungs vomited up the water it had consumed. 

“Do you feel ready to spill your guts, girl? Or should I let you marinate longer?”

You tried to talk around your coughing, but your throat was full of burning from your lungs.

“Ah, marinating it is then.”

A strangled shout was all you were able to get out before Arlong launched you back under. This time, however, Arlong leaned over to let his upper body dip under the water's surface. His smiling face following you down to the grave he wished to bury you in just to watch your body thrash uselessly under his foot. His smile growing wider with each hiccup your body involuntarily took in a reflex to get air. 

It felt like the water filled your lungs faster this time and that same weightless feeling you’d felt with Coben’s hands around your throat returned. This time, however, you knew there wouldn’t be a Usopp to come and save you. No one was going to save you and the weight of loneliness that thought had was enough to make you feel a different kind of pain. 

The edges of your vision were beginning to grow black and it was a welcome sight. Maybe death wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it meant this nightmare was over. Maybe in death you could find the peace you’d been denied by the living. A weightlessness began to take over your body and you found your willingness to follow the darkness terrifying, but you were tired. You couldn’t take this anymore. You couldn’t- 

Suddenly, Arlong launched you back out of the water. His large hand held you steady as your throat coughed up every last inch of water.

“Don’t go dying on me now!” He chortled. “We were just getting started.”

You were too weak to tell him where he could shove it. Your eyes were barely able to focus over the spots that filtered over your vision. Maybe that would explain why you thought the little girl hiding among the trees was a hallucination. Hallucination or not, you wanted to tell her to run. This scene was not one meant to be seen by a child, but before you could call out to her Arlong shoved you back under and everything started all over again.

You’d thrown up sometime ago in the sand. 

The only comforting part about it was that it was mostly water. The second comforting thing? Arlong, Kuroobi, and Chew seemed to have left you here. 

Oh, you were sure they would be back. There wasn’t anyway that Arlong was just going to let you go. You were part of his crew, after all. For now, you would enjoy what little moment of reprieve you got as you tried to collect yourself here on this beach. 

The beach where you died more than a handful of times. 

Every time you felt yourself begin to fade - when the darkness was more than happy to wrap its arms around you - was always when Arlong pulled you back. A part of you wondered if he knew. A shark smelling blood in the water and this blood was that of your wish for him just to let death take you. 

Dying had to be easier than this, but you couldn’t die. Not when you were waiting to see him again.

It wasn’t until they’d placed a rock on your chest to weigh you down that you felt something change. Something  dark was clawing its way feverishly to the surface. All the gut wrenching fear that Arlong built with each fresh surge of drowning twisted like a gnarled root to take shape into something sinister. The shape it created felt ravenous - eager to show him his own brand of fear with gnashing teeth and twisted bones. 

You were too far gone in your own despair for you to remember all of Naan’s warnings. The reminders that the darkness was never a giver, but a taker. As you watched a smokey trundle of blood weave its way from your body you knew you no longer cared. You had no room for it when your head felt ready to burst from pressure, your lungs like a fish tank, and sternum cracking with each breath from the weight of the stone. 

That’s when the sickeningly sweet whispers started again and, this time, you listened. The words they spoke grew like venom on your tongue. The whispers told you if you spoke their words out loud, Arlong’s smile would disappear. You could make him know what it felt like to be afraid. 

Arlong must have noticed something in you had changed because all the playful glee he’d shown while he watched your misery evaporated. For a split second, uncertainty flashed across his eyes and it was all you needed to know if you chased it, you could make him give in to fear. 

You never got a chance to see what would happen. If you could make him turn inside out. Just like before, they’d silenced you before you could complete whatever you’d started. Deep down, you were glad. Even though for a brief moment you no longer felt any pain - felt powerful - that wickedness had left a stain on your soul that you couldn’t get clean.

You refused to cry as you tried to get comfortable. You weren’t sure how that was supposed to even be possible, but you had to try. Realistically, you didn’t have the strength to get up and try and make a run for it. Even if you did, what would that mean for Nami? Where would you even go?

No. 

As hopeless as you felt - as everything felt - you weren’t going to run. 

You were trying to shuffle to your other side but gave up when you tipped over to your back. Your throat was raw like the muscle and chords you’d used had been removed, and your lungs felt worse. Truthfully, your whole body felt like shit, and it felt like too much work to try and do anything else than lie there like a sack of potatoes. 

You were about to look back up to the sky when you saw her. 

A dart of lilac hair attached to the same little girl you’d spotted earlier. The one you wished you could yell at to disappear. Tell her that this was no place for a child. You thought you’d imagined her, but as she made her way out from behind the safety of the trees and across the beach, you realized she was very much real. 

She’d only looked over her shoulders - left and right - twice. Both of those times told her that it was safe to make a journey over to you and you wanted to yell at her. To tell her she was being foolish and at any minute Arlong could return. It was horror novel worthy the way she recklessly trekked across the beach to an absolute stranger. No care for the possible danger that could spring up at any minute. The thought of what he would do if he did find her constricted your heart in a new form of terror. It was enough to get you to croak out a few words - pain be damned. 

“G-go…go ba-ck.”

The girl stopped for a brief moment and it was enough to give you hope that she was going to listen. You should’ve known better. When did any kid in the history of ever listen? Your words halted her movement for all of a second before she started forward again. This time her small legs picking up speed as she ran towards you. Once she reached your side she quickly dropped down to her knees. 

A tiny tote was over her shoulder and you watched as she opened it to reach inside and produce a tangerine. She held it up just to show you it was, indeed, a tangerine and went to peeling it open.

“I couldn’t find any clean water.” Gods, her voice sounded so innocent. So small. “But I remembered tangerines are juicy, and my daddy said our island has the juiciest tangerines. Maybe they have the power to make you feel better.”

You watched her work the peel off and stash the remains of it back inside the tote. The evidence of her kindness never reaching the sandy beach to give away that she was ever there in the first place. It was smart. You were torn out of your thoughts when he tiny hand pressed a piece of tangerine against your lips. 

“You should hurry and eat it before they come back. My daddy tells me the tangerines from our grove are special. They can make you strong enough to keep fighting.”

“Is there anything your daddy doesn’t claim these tangerines can do?” 

You mumbled before gently pulling the slice of tangerine into your mouth. Gods, this tasted like heaven. It was a fight to keep from letting out a moan of gratitude as the sweet citrus flavor washed over your tongue. 

All of that was replaced when you noticed your words caused a sudden shift in her demeanor. A wave of sadness consumed her. Her eyes darted down to the tangerine in her hand as she focused on peeling another slice free from its core.

“No. But…I know they don’t heal sick people. If they did, daddy wouldn’t be sick anymore.”

You couldn’t stop staring at her. This little girl with hair as vibrant as a wisteria and startling eyes that were bluer than the ocean. Those same eyes that conveyed her kindness held a deep sadness. One you knew all too well when a child watched someone they love slowly begin to die. 

She peeled another piece off and brought it back to your mouth, patiently waiting for you to open up just enough so she could tip the tangerine inside. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” you spoke after you struggled to swallow the second tangerine. “It isn’t safe for you.”

“I know but….” She stopped mid sentence to take a cautionary look around before she continued. “I heard that fishman say you were a doctor.”

Ah, now you understood why she was willing to brave the wrath of Arlong just to come speak to you. She was willing to risk it all to make sure her father was going to be okay. 

You felt a small smile lift the good side of your face as you replied, “I am indeed a doctor.”

“Do you think you could come and look at my daddy? I can try and find some money to pay you. Please.”

“I would love to come by and see if I could help your dad, sweetie, but I’m currently…tied up.”

The brief flash of excitement that lit up her eyes died out in a smoke of disappointment. The next piece of tangerine she’d peeled sat inside her palm while she seemed to struggle with that new information. 

“Oh.”

Why did you feel like you’d crushed what was left of her hopes and dreams? She wouldn't look up at you now. Her fingers picking at the veins on the tangerine and when she sniffled you felt like you died. 

No, no do not cry! 

Your mind raced in what you could do to help make her feel better. What could you do with your arms tied behind you back and looking like…well, whatever Arlong made you look like. The only thing you could think of was something impossible, but if you could find a way to do it, you would help her father. 

“How about this? Whenever I get out of here I’ll come and find you-“

“In Coco Village?!”

The excited determination was back and it burned hotter than ever. Her small hand shoved the piece inside your mouth and you did your best to try and chew it before you choked. That was the last thing you needed. Death by tangerine. 

“Sure. If that’s where you and your dad are.”

“Oh my gosh mama is going to be so excited! And happy! Daddy’s been sick for a long time.”

She placed another piece inside your mouth and you quickly chewed it up. It was easy to ignore the sting the citrus caused your throat as you worried what would become of her if she stayed. After you finished the third bite, you offered up your name in greeting and were easily rewarded with hers in return. 

“Nazifa.”

You smiled at her softly and prayed it didn’t look scary. You weren’t exactly sure how you looked, but you were willing to bet after your latest adventure with Arlong you looked worse than before. If that was at all possible.

“Nazifa. That is a pretty name. What are you doing all the way out here?”

It appeared agreeing to come see her father significantly lifted the girl’s spirit. She was mimicking a hoping motion with her shoulders as she peeled another piece free and, without thinking, popped it into her own mouth. You couldn’t keep the smile from growing on your face. 

“I was looking for something to help my daddy. He’s been sick a long time.” 

“What were you looking for exactly?”

“Plants, silly!”

You wondered if now was the time to try and teach her the danger of ingesting just any plants but thought against it. Now really wasn’t the time to give a botany lesson lying on a beach looking like a crazy lady. 

“Of course.”

“But then I heard the bad man say you were a doctor and I thought maybe you could help my daddy.”

Nazifa leaned forward and placed another tangerine piece at your lips. You opened your mouth and eagerly ate what was offered. When was the last time you’d eaten? You’d been here with Nami for three days and you were sure you’d been offered nothing. Not that you could eat or drink in your current…predicament. 

“I promise I will help your daddy if I can, Nazifa.”

All the earlier happiness Nazifa showed seemed to erase in a second. The endless expanse of her blue eyes were solely focused on you; searching your face to see if there were any signs of dishonesty.

“You promise?”

Looking at her now you knew this was beyond important to her. This dealt with someone she loved beyond all reason. What little girl would willingly risk being caught to come talk to a hostage just because they heard the word doctor? Kids like Nazifa would. When all hope seemed lost as they watched the person they loved most slowly die in front of them. 

Without giving it much thought you felt yourself replying, “I promise, promise.” 

You meant it. 

This was one of the reasons you’d become a doctor. All those hours training under Naan - tirelessly watching the way she mended wounds and broken spirits. You weren’t sure exactly what her father had, no way to know until you saw him, but that was your goal. In the presence of this little girl, she reminded you why you needed to keep fighting.

You were going to get out of here. You were going to go to Coco Village and see Nazifa’s father and do what you could to heal him, because that’s who you were, and you would be damned if you ever let Arlong take that away from you. 

The sound of his name startled him awake.

Zoro knew it wasn’t just any voice he’d heard. No one else’s voice could make him rise from his hammock faster than you. The imaginary sound of you calling his name, laced with a frightful plea, worked its way inside his body like a haunting. There wasn’t any possible way that he could’ve heard you. There were still miles of sea laid out before him before they ever reached you and Nami. 

So, why did it feel as if a sickness was brewing in his gut? 

He swung his legs out from the hammock and scrubbed a harsh hand over his face. Zoro had gone to his room in the hopes of finding some sanctuary in the form of rest. No matter how many times he closed his eyes, his head was swamped with visions of you. A thousand scenarios played out of what could possibly be happening while you weren’t beside him. Zoro wanted to believe that every scenario didn’t play out in cruel ways that left him ready to split men in two; to remind him why he was given the nickname The Demon. 

But that one word - his name - felt too real. 

Come and find me, Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro.

Zoro knew he would do just that. It wasn’t a matter of whether he wanted to anymore, but of need. He wasn’t sure what he would do the minute he saw you. If he would just grab you, throw you over his shoulder, and carry your ass back to the Merry. His body practically begged to feel your fists beating against the muscles of his back. Your legs would kick aimlessly in hopes he would set you down with you slinging fun comments like asking if he was a caveman. 

It was funny. It used to irritate him when you would call him an asshole, but now? Now he would give anything to hear you say it again. For him to have the chance to make the playfulness in your tune catch and turn into something breathy. 

Yeah. He wasn’t going to be getting any rest anytime soon.

With a sigh of defeat, he reached back into the hammock and pulled the Wado free from where it had been placed next to him. Zoro moved swiftly to his feet and slid the sheath home inside his belt, which felt painfully empty. It was something he was going to have to remedy and fast. That could wait until after he did as he was told and saved you from your own stupidity. 

He made his way out of his room and out towards the bridge of the Merry. Zoro was looking for Luffy and found himself walking up to the stern where an all too familiar annoying voice made his presence known. 

“What was that? Why don’t you say it to my face? Hey! Morning, Champ.”

Not only did Nami and you leave, but you were both replaced by Zoro’s worst fucking nightmares. A waiter and a clown. 

Zoro didn’t mean to round the corner so fast. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Buggy anymore than Usopp seemed to enjoy his directional company. But here he was: being called out by the clown and Zoro was never one to back down from a fight. 

“I know Luffy made a deal with you to find Arlong, clown, but if this is another one of your tricks-”

“What are you going to do? Bleed on me? Tell me that I don’t mean anything to you, either, to hurt my sensitive feelings? Hey, speaking of not having any feelings, Zoro, buddy, since you don’t seem to want Doc, can I have a go at her? Seems only fair- OW!”

He hadn’t realized he’d lurched forward until his fingers dug into the bandana to the root of the hair below. Zoro made sure all the practiced years of grip training honed in on the clowns skull - a millisecond of a thought away from crushing it in his hand. Buggy must have noticed the threat from the predicament that he found himself in. Sure, Zoro could crush Buggy’s head in but he could also simply toss his ass out over the boat. One problem gone with it just leaving the waiter to deal with after. 

Yeah, Zoro kinda liked those odds.

He made his way back down the steps to the stern of the ship. The pleading of Buggy made his ears ring in annoyance.

“Whoa! Whoa! Wait. Whoa! What? Because I said bleed on me? You can bleed on me if you want. I mean, a deal’s a deal, all right? You want your girl back and the map. I want my body.”

Zoro flung Buggy’s head over the side of the ship and a burst of pleasure rushed through him as he watched his neck frantically begin to shake. He was well aware it was a petty move, but right now, petty felt fucking good. 

“How do we know you’re not leading us to a trap?”

“Zoro, buddy! Honor amongst pirates. Right? Come on. How about I sing a nice sea shanty to pass the time.”

The minute Zoro heard Buggy take a sharp inhale to start doing exactly that he backed away from the railing. He wasn’t in any mood to carry on this particular part of the conversation. 

“🎶Oh, there once was a girl with tangerine hair. Stole my map and left me stranded somewhere.” Zoro made quick work of the steps and to his pleasant surprise watched Usopp move towards the barrel he’d removed him from seconds before. “Truly a crafty and crooked young lass but you can’t deny she had a spectacular–🎶” Usopp pulled the lid off the barrel and Zoro didn’t hesitate to immediately drop Buggy inside. “OW! Right on my nose!”

So far this was the most enjoyable thing to his morning. As fast as Usopp pulled open the lid, with the same speed he closed it completely silencing the clown inside. The silence was instant and it was phenomenal. However, a part of him felt like he had a missed opportunity of true euphoria launching him out to sea. 

“Thank god for you, man,” Usopp huffed out with relief. “If I had to listen to him for another hour or so I was going to lose it.”

Zoro didn’t know how to reply. He just stood there and gave a small nod in welcome as his hands rested on the top of the Wado’s hilt. It wasn’t lost on him that Usopp mentioned it was only another hour. Was it really another hour before he heard someone calling out, “Land hoe!” Bringing him one step closer to finding you. 

He was going to have to inform you this was the worst game of hide and seek he’d ever played. Zoro watched Usopp head back to the helm of the ship. His hands wrapped around the steering wheel as he looked out over the ocean. His eyes were no doubt scanning for the one thing Zoro himself was equally impatiently waiting for. 

Zoro knew he was giving off awkward. He was still just standing there. Not saying a word. He was trying to think of how to ask his question without sounding desperate, but he knew once the question left his lips Usopp would automatically know why he was asking anyway. 

“So, you think we only have an hour left? Two at the most?”

Usopp glanced away from scanning the horizon to regard him before looking away. 

“You mean before we see the Conomi Islands or before we get to her?”

This time Usopp’s eyes landed on him and they didn’t tear themselves away. Not yet. Zoro was beginning to realize that he wasn’t the only person on this ship with a deeply rooted need to make sure you were safe. The years of embedded friendship were exposed all over Usopp’s face. Years that Zoro himself knew he could never replace, but only hoped to make memories of his own that were as fierce as the protective glean that shot through Usopp’s eyes. 

It was Zoro who broke first for once. His eyes moved back to the safety of the expansive blue ocean in front of them. 

“Both.”

His answer felt like a betrayal. He knew they needed to spot the island cresting over the horizon first. That had to be first because it’s not like he could magically teleport himself to you, but he couldn’t stop hating the weight of waiting. 

A heavy sigh tore him out of his thoughts and back over to Usopp. He wasn’t looking back at him anymore. Usopp’s eyes were now looking out where Zoro had run for shelter. Except, it seemed Usopp did it for a completely different reason. 

“Shit.” Whatever he was about to do, Zoro could feel the terror coming off him. “Look, Zoro-”

Those two words told him this was not a conversation he was hoping to be a part of. 

“I’m not sure exactly what it is that is going on with you and Doc but-”

“But?”

Usopp’s head shot over to him and he looked ready to shit himself. It took what little self-control Zoro had not to smirk at the obvious terror his one-word question caused him. It took Usopp a couple of tries to swallow past the lump that’d grown in his throat before he continued.

“I know she likes you and I seen what liking you did to her after you went and fought Mihawk. I don’t want to ever see her like that again, Zoro. Doc is family to me. You understand that? Whatever you intend to do when you see her -  make sure you make it right.”

Make it right. 

That was the one thing Zoro was struggling to figure out how to do exactly. Sure, he had a letter you’d left with strict instructions on how to do just that, but it would be a cold day in hell before he groveled. Roronoa Zoro didn’t grovel. 

He didn’t know how to respond to Usopp and, because of that, instead of trying he turned and headed towards the front of the Merry. If Luffy hadn’t been back here with Usopp, that meant he had to be either in the kitchen or the front. Maybe he’d find him riding on the ram’s head, which was his favorite place on the ship. Zoro could easily check the galley first, but if he could have fewer run-ins with the waiter the better.

The world must have been against him today. 

He could hear Luffy saying he wanted to make sure Nami was okay and a small part of Zoro did too. He hated to admit it, but Nami had become a friend to him in ways he hadn’t expected. Sure, Zoro knew he could chop it up to the times they’d been in danger because there was nothing like building a bond with someone when your backs were pressed together fighting against a common enemy.

And while he did worry about her he was more interested in answers than a sob story. He may have been wrong back at the Baratie when they’d been caught in a guessing game of, “Guess my trauma,” but Zoro hadn’t been wrong about Nami carrying a load large enough to crush her spirit. It was something that must have happened gradually. So gradual, that by the time she realized the baggage she’d placed on her shoulders it only dampened who she truly was. 

Zoro wanted to believe that when he rounded the corner he would find Luffy just talking to himself. It was a dumb hope, but the last person Zoro wanted to see when he rounded the corner was to be greeted with the most unwelcome sight of the waiter giving Luffy first mate advice. 

“A beautiful, talented woman does not choose to ally herself with a pirate like Arlong. Nami clearly needs to be rescued.”

Of course the waiter would say some shit like that. He’d practically swooned over her the minute he’d locked eyes with Nami at Baratie.

“Her tattoo says different.”

Zoro hoped those four words conveyed what he thought of him: an idiot. 

“Yeah, well, tattoos don’t tell the whole story. And like any woman, she’s a mystery to be unraveled.”

The tone of Sanji’s response told Zoro plainly what Sanji thought of him. An idiot. 

“Nami made her choice.”

“You don’t know why.”

“The only thing I want to hear from you are dinner specials. You don’t know Nami.” 

“Sounds like you don’t know her either, Mosshead.”

“I’m sure Nami has her reasons.”

Zoro sniffed hard to keep from hurling his next words at Sanji. His eyes turned towards the open water because if he had to see the look on Sanji’s face one more time he couldn’t trust what he was going to say or do. The guy had been here all of a few days and suddenly he was a Nami expert. 

“And I know Doc has her reasons for choosing to do what she did. I just need to hear from them myself.”

You’d made your choice to save Luffy. Maybe in your mind you thought you were saving Nami too, but Zoro knew better than most that sometimes some people couldn’t be saved. 

“Land hoe!”

All it took was those two words to send Zoro’s adrenaline into overdrive. Land. He turned from the side of the ship to face forward and, sure enough, on the edge of the horizon was the first sight of land. 

The Conomi Islands. 

He was just a few miles away from being closer to you, and Zoro promised himself that this time he wasn’t going to let you go. 

After Nazifa left and Arlong and his merry gang returned, you’d ended up staying a little while longer on that beach than you originally wanted. Just a while longer with your belly filling up with sea water until your nose began to bleed and the sun disappeared behind the wall of mountains. 

It wasn’t a surprise you’d been too exhausted to walk anywhere. That’s how you ended with your dead weight slung over Kuroobi’s shoulder and brought back to Arlong Park. He hadn’t even tried to make you walk. 

Kuroobi dumped you back inside Nami’s room. Your room now. He made sure that before he left he locked the shackle back in place. A reminder that you weren’t going to be leaving this room on your own. You were left soaked, dirty, and blooded on the floor waiting for the next day to come. 

You could handle the bruises and the sores. You could even handle the shackle on your ankle. What you couldn’t handle was the cold. The island was warm enough during the day, but at night the island turned into a different season. The cold stone that layered the room only helped to seal in the dampness making the night feel like an eternity. 

You weren’t able to get any rest and because of that, when Nami came sauntering in you thought you were hallucinating. It wasn’t until she threw a pair of clothes in your direction that you realized you couldn’t be hallucinating an outfit like that. 

“Don’t you own any long sleeves,” you groaned. 

“I could just take them back and leave you to sit in soaked clothes.”

It took your body a moment to peel itself from the spot on the floor. Your hands pushed an aching body up off the floor that felt ready to crack at the slightest movement until you were at least in a sitting position. You regarded Nami before looking at the nice and dry clothes she’d thrown in front of you. 

“You are right. Dry clothes are better than wet ones any day.”

A soft smile curled her lips that helped soften the stance she’d taken on. Her arms were back to being guarded across her chest while her shoulder rested against one of the many pillars that held up the room. There was no way of knowing what she was thinking as she regarded you. Whatever it was, however, you were willing to bet not one bit of it was good. 

The small amount of mirth that smile awarded you in brightening up her face quickly dimmed to a shadow when you stood up. Your hands quickly worked the damp clothes off your body and into the ones she’d brought you. While you weren’t happy about being in another questionable top, you were happily surprised to find that she’d brought you cargo pants. 

“Since you brought me cargo pants all can be forgiven about the shirt.” 

“I seriously question our friendship with your weird love for cargo pants.”

“They are literally fashion’s utility pants.”

“Okay, Doc, no one should say that with a straight face and mean it.”

You wanted to tell her she was just hating on the amount of pockets that could be found on these bad boys. You hadn’t really learned to love them until you’d forgotten your satchel one day when you went forging with Naan. She’d chastised you relentlessly for being so foolish. 

“Your head is always up in the clouds where it shouldn’t be.” 

That was her favorite assumption. Your head was always everywhere but where Naan wanted it to be, which usually meant reality. Naan could complain all she wanted, however, you’d realize the nifty extra pockets scattered around your legs proved to be a great place to stick mushrooms and truffles. 

You’d successfully got them on and turned to let Nami know exactly what you thought of her and her distaste for efficiency, but felt the playful words become an afterthought once you saw her. You were positive she wasn’t going to cry. Not in this place. Whatever Arlong Park was to you, you knew it paled in comparison to her experience. 

While you’d had the pleasure of Arlong’s hospitality for almost a full week, Nami’s was longer. Surely, it had to be more than a few years worth of being subjected to hardening herself against whoever Arlong wanted her to be. You were willing to bet that the couple weeks she’d spent with all of you was the first time Nami got to enjoy finding out who she really was outside of whatever trauma she’d endured. The shackle attached to your ankle was a great reminder it belonged to Nami first. 

“What’s wrong?”

A soft scoff left her as her shoulder pushed away from the pillar. She began to walk the circle of the room while her feet kicked at the dirt floor. 

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Nami-“

“Don’t. Don’t try and tell me that this isn’t my fault.”

You felt your brow knit together at her words. You wanted to go to her but the sound of the chain scraping against the stone floor was a painful reminder you only had so many feet spared to you. Unfortunately, Nami resided over where you couldn’t reach her: her own private island of regret. 

“Nami, how in the hell do you consider any of this your fault?”

“Doc, have you seen yourself? If Luffy, Usopp, or jesus, Zoro saw what you looked like…”

This time you did take a step forward. You moved until you were at the first step and the shackled pulled violently against your momentum. 

“I know I’m not going to win any beauty contests right now,” you informed her, cutting her off. “But it’s like you said, you didn’t make me come, Nami. I came here on my own free will, and if I had to make the choice again I would still do it.”

“How can you say that after what they did to you yesterday?” 

“Yeah, yesterday did suck.” You couldn’t deny that. “It sucked a shit ton. I still wouldn’t change my decision to come to save Luffy. To save you.” 

You knew there was a chance saying that last part was going to drastically change her mood. You watched that very thing happen at lightning speed. One minute Nami appeared ready to repent for every bad thing she, and the world, had ever done and the next, a hardness resonated through her, stiffening her shoulders and rearing back her head like she was ready to spit venom. 

“I never asked you to come here for me and I don’t need saving.”

“Again, this creepy ass chain and shackle thing says otherwise.” In case she wasn’t familiar with what you meant, you made sure to point down to your latest accessory. “I’m your friend, Nami and nothing is ever going to change that.”

Nami shook her head and turned to face the door. You weren’t sure if she was going to look back at you or completely leave the room. The tension in her shoulders gave the impression she was ready to bolt. Another heavy sigh came from her and her arms released from their place across her chest. 

“I’ve been asked to take you out to get the ingredients for you to start making that antidote you promised Arlong. He said it’s about time you deliver.”

Arlong was lucky you needed to find ingredients to make some different tonics for Nazifa’s dad. You weren’t sure what he was sick with or if he could even be healed, but the most you could do is make something to make whatever it was just a little more bearable. 

“Are you going to have to walk me like a dog on a leash?”

If Nami could roll her eyes any harder they would’ve gone completely white. 

“Stop being so dramatic. You get to walk leash free.”

Nami walked down the couple of steps and bent down by your ankle. She produced a row of keys from her pocket and you couldn’t help but let out a “Thank god,” when she stuck the key in the lock and released its hold from your ankle. 

“Is that why you brought me cargo pants?”

Nami looked about as confused as you’d imagine someone would be when they had absolutely no damn clue what you were talking about. 

“Why would that be the reason I brought you ugly ass pants?”

“They are not ugly,” you reprimanded her. “They serve a purpose.”

“Purpose or not they literally do nothing for your ass.”

“Nami, I’m not changing and I don’t have a satchel. Arlong ripped it apart the other day when he destroyed what I’d brought from the Merry.”

Nami held up a finger indicating for you to wait before she flipped open her satchel. In a matter of seconds she produced a much smaller charcoal leather satchel and handed it to you. You cautiously took it while you flipped it over in your hands taking notice of the oddly placed straps and-

“It’s a thigh satchel.”

Nami must have taken note of your apparent confusion and thankfully told you before you embarrassed yourself by trying to put it on over your shoulders. 

“Oh. Cool.” You waited a breath before asking, “Why couldn’t you just get me a regular satchel?”

“I had to find something to offset the tragedy that is that outfit you’re wearing.”

“Oh yeah!” 

You fake laughed and Nami wasted no time in walking towards the exit. If the pep in her step was any indication, Nami was extremely pleased with herself. She wasn’t waiting for you to catch up and it forced you to rush out after her. A grumble of, “You got jokes,” humming past your lips as you took up step beside her. 

You weren’t sure how long Nami and you forged across the island, but you knew, no matter how long it’d been, it was the most free you’d felt in days. The beauty of it? You’d be able to find ingredients for the fish rot and plenty of others to make for Nazifa’s father. You knew that information wasn’t something Nami would run and tell Arlong about but, just on the safe side, you kept it to yourself. 

It felt good to be outside. Away from Arlong and Kuroobi and every other asshole who had made it their personal mission to see you miserable. Since you’d come to the Conomi Islands you didn’t get a chance to enjoy it past your first initial moment walking through the tangerine groves and the cautious gaze of villagers. 

You weren’t taking for granted the easy way your shoulders relaxed in Nami’s company. The way the breeze rolled through the groves and left the heavy handed scent of citrus in the air. You hadn’t noticed it before - how the air seemed to forever be stamped with the scent. Then again, you hadn’t been in the best place to really take it all in either. 

While you’d walked through grove after grove and into the forest beyond, you ran your hands against the coarse bark of the trees. Your fingers digging into the grooves that told the decades of growth that housed thousands of stories. You memorized the formation of vegetation and the different flowers that peaked beneath the sides of bushes or grew wrapped around huts like ivy. You wished you had more time to study some of them. To draw them inside your notebook and make small observations about the patterns of the soil they grew in and their roots. 

Every place you walked there were more mysteries for your brain to unravel, and it all came with their fresh crushing realization you wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of it. It wasn’t until you came to a grove surrounded by willow trees and hydrangeas with hues in lilac and blue-violet that your feet grew rooted to the spot. It wasn’t exactly like Irkhaven but it felt eerily close to it. You expected to turn and find Zoro standing at the entrance of the willows branches. A fresh flower plucked between his fingers and waiting to place it somewhere in your hair. 

The ache of never seeing him again felt worse than death.

It pained you when Nami informed you it was time to head back. It was the first time you considered running. To promise the devil anything he wanted to allow you to stay outside in the safety of the grove for just a little while longer.

When you got back to Arlong Park you were told you needed to start mixing up the medicine asap. Arlong already had a line of fishmen waiting for you to take care of and mend. It wasn’t something you minded, since it gave you access to open flames and mortars. Everything you told him you needed, Arlong made sure was there waiting for you when you and Nami returned. It made it all the easier to make other things along with the antidote for the fish rot. 

While you worked a part of you was overcome with the urge to alter what you made. It would be easy. You’d come across loads of fly agaric grouped together at the base of a tree trunk. Usually, you never would’ve picked up such an ingredient, but ever since you’d opened yourself up to the darkness you couldn’t get rid of the whispers. 

Evil wormed its way inside your mind like arsenic - poisoning every thought into something putrid. Naan warned you - chastised you - to keep away from the whispers and their sweet words. She’d asked you to swear to her you would never let it in. 

You wondered if she would forgive you for not being able to keep your word. 

Now, at times like now, as you ground up ingredients and placed it inside the beaker to boil something dark demanded you add it. Twist the organs of the men until they rot from the inside out. The more you tried to ignore the whispers, the stronger they seemed to get until they practically screamed; rattling around all your thoughts. 

So, when Nami told you that you were going with her to Coco Village you welcomed the distraction. Plus, it meant you would get to help Nazifa and, just maybe, helping her father would be enough to heal yourself. 

“You sure do like picking berries and grass don’t you?” Nami teased. 

Her words cut through your current thoughts as you tried to gently tug the last of the moss from the trunk of the tree.

“This is not just grass. It’s moss, and this specific strain is a great homeopathic to stimulate healing,” you informed her. “Also - where are these berries you speak of because I am starving.” 

Before Nami could turn away you easily caught the rise of her lips as her booted feet kicked at the ground. You wish she wouldn’t have tried to hide her smile. It would’ve been the first nice thing to see all day and the least moodiest look from Nami specifically since you’d left Arlong Park a second time. You weren’t a hundred percent sure what was said between her and Arlong, or why exactly she didn’t seem thrilled to go to this village, but Nami acted like she would rather be set on fire than go.

“Sorry, no berries here. Just an abundance of tangerines, though.” 

“Berries or tangerines: I will gladly eat both.”

Gods, did you mean it. You’d been without food since the few tangerines Nazifa fed you and the bread and water Nami snuck in just after you’d come back from your earlier expedition. You glanced over at your friend and found her deep in thought. You were getting ready to ask her if you could give her a couple berry for her thoughts when she spoke. 

“I’m glad he didn’t take that from you.”

“Take what?”

“Your love for what you do. Foraging and just…helping people.” 

“Arlong won’t win if that’s his goal. These hands were born to be knuckle deep in some earthworm's home.” By the way Nami stared at you, it begged the question: “Too much?”

Nami's response came in her shaking her head causing laughter to spill out with each flick. It was one of the best sounds you’d heard all day. You wish it would’ve stayed longer, but when you came to a wooden fence line, an obvious entrance to a village, all the happiness she’d shown evaporated in seconds.

“We’re here.”

“What exactly are we here to do?” 

Nami sighed out her reply. 

“We’re here to collect the villager’s tribute payment.” 

“Oh. Yeah, this doesn’t sound like it’s going to be a good time.”

“It’s not.”

The both of you barely crested the entrance to the village and were greeted by the sight of what looked like most of the villagers in the square. The constable stood facing everyone with a leather box in his hands open and waiting for the next set of villagers to empty out their life savings inside. 

Yeah. This was definitely not a good time for anyone involved. 

Your eyes scanned the crowd for a hint of a tiny figure somewhere among the downcast adults. You were about to give up when you heard a familiar voice shout your name. You were still looking for Nazifa when her tiny body came barreling into you from the left. Her arms wrapped tightly at your waist in a hug full of gratitude. 

“They let you out! And you came!”

“I made you a promise, didn’t I?”

It felt like you had to pry her arms off to get her to look at you. Her tiny body gave an excited jump before she launched herself back against you. Her arms wrapped around you and this time it felt just a little tighter.  You gave her a brief hug of your own in hopes it would get her to release you. 

“Are you making friends without me?” 

You glanced over at Nami beside you. Her eyes were wide with questions as they glanced from you and darted down to point at Nazifa. You offered her a shrug in reply that earned you a hard stare. 

“She fed me tangerines when Arlong left me out on the beach.”

Nami took a cautious step towards you to fill in what remaining space was left between you. The movement caused Nazifa to tighten her arms closer at your waist and your arms instinctively enclosed around her. The movement wasn’t lost on Nami but she didn’t let it keep her from leaning in to ask, “Doc, what are you doing.” 

“Her dad is sick, Nami.”

“And? What does that have to do with you?”

“I promised I would come and see him. Give them medicine to try and help him, if I could.”

Her eyes softened but not enough for her to back down. You already knew what she would most likely say. She wasn’t going to agree to this or find it smart.

“Doc-“

“Nami, please.”

“I’m not trying to be the bad guy here,” she whispered, her words fierce with pleading for you to understand. “But this is not a good idea.”

“Nami-“

“It’s dangerous, Doc.” Her words stopped whatever argument you wanted to make. How could helping people be wrong? “I need you to understand the risk you are taking in doing this. If Arlong finds out-“

“Who is going to tell him, Nami? You?”

Your words came out meaner - sharper - than you intended, but the irritation that flared through you wasn’t something you could hide. How could she tell you she was glad Arlong didn’t take away your love for helping others and turn around and tell you not to help Nazifa’s father? It felt contradictory. It felt hypocritical. It felt like a warning label being smacked onto your forehead. 

You tried to ignore the way she deflated at your words. The flash of hurt that dulled her eyes just before she locked herself away inside herself. Away from you. 

“No. I wouldn’t, but you are forgetting that people around here are desperate for food. You take away someone’s basic needs and you’ll see how quickly they’ll turn on someone for a few scraps.”

It was logical. It was more than logical and you knew it, but with Nazifa still holding onto you…how could you tell her no? How could you send her home after she’d desperately searched for help and found you? You knew if you sent her away it would do more than just kill her father. Whatever magic Nazifa thought the world held would be gone in that one moment, and you would be damned if you were the villain in her story. 

“I hear you, Nami, I do.”

“You aren’t going to listen to me are you?”

You couldn’t answer her. All you could afford was a sharp nod of no to give her the answer she dreaded. Nami turned away from you and faced the large group of people. You wish you could’ve said something to ease whatever thought she had, but you knew it would be a lie. Nami placed her hands on her hips as she spoke. 

“Whatever you’re going to do, make it fast. I’ll handle this on my own.” 

Your heart sank as you realized maybe what Nami found more disappointing was that she’d expected you to be there for her. Whatever this village was to her and her past she’d expected you to be there with her while she did this. 

You didn’t know what to say so you took Nazifa’s hand and motioned for her to lead you to where you needed to go. The little girl did so without hesitation. She dragged you back towards a close knit row of huts off to your right. You thought she was about to take you completely out of the village when you stopped at the very last house. 

Once inside, you’d found an elderly woman at the bedside of a man you could only guess was Nazifa’s father. The elderly woman tried to rise up from her chair when Nazifa informed her just who you were. 

“It’s the healer, Va.” 

The healer. The doctor. Medicine woman. Witch. All of these you’d heard during your time with Naan. None of them had ever been used to describe who you were until you’d joined Luffy’s crew. 

Luffy who believed in you more than you’d ever believed in yourself. Usopp who talked you up even when you felt like you could never compare. It was at this moment inside of Nazifa’s family’s hut that you had the chance to prove exactly what you were capable of. You weren’t Naan. You didn’t have decades worth of knowledge and experience, but you knew you could be better. Naan never left Syrup village. Her knowledge was limited. Her encounters with those who were sick even more limited. 

You could do better. Be better. 

You took in a deep breath as you moved forward with more confidence than you felt. Your eyes swiftly did a visual assessment of the parlor of his skin, the yellow of his eyes, and the struggling breaths that deepened at his thorax. You set to work pulling out a stethoscope Nami had tucked inside the thick satchel along with the tonics you’d brought and set to work. 

By the time you left the hut and headed back towards where you’d left Nami you felt a strong sense of accomplishment. While you hadn’t exactly been able to find out what it was that was making Nazifa’s father so sick, you’d improved his breathing and eased his suffering enough that he was able to finally sleep. You’d left behind an antibiotic of sorts to help fight any infection that might be in his blood and promised to come back to check on him. 

You were almost back to where you’d left Nami when you heard her. There was no mistaking the anger in her tone; the fear that made each word wobble in uncertainty. 

“Luffy. What are you doing here?”

Luffy??

Luffy was here? If Luffy was here then that meant…

No. No, you couldn’t let yourself hope that he’d been crazy enough to come and get you - to come and save Nami. But you knew, even without the years of knowing someone like the way you knew Usopp, there was no way Luffy would let Arlong keep you. 

Your eyes scanned over the crowd as it began to disperse. You were struggling to find the mint green of her tank top. It had to be the easiest thing to spot it had to be- 

You knew that bandana anywhere. You’d saved up two months of your allowance helping Naan to get him that one for his fifteenth birthday. 

“Usopp?”

You needed to know it was him and that your eyes weren’t playing cruel tricks on you. You were rewarded with his head whipping up - searching - for the owner of the voice. Your voice. When his eyes landed on your figure the result was instant. The both of you broke out into a run that ended with you colliding into one another. The force of his body slamming into yours knocked the wind out of you, but you didn’t care. Not when your arms were able to find a home around his shoulders. It was easy to forget that your ribs were bruised until he squeezed just a little too tight. 

In a flash, you felt like you were seven-years-old again and back on the beach. Usopp’s slingshot spread back to ward off anyone who would try to harm you. The memory made your arms tighten like ivy around him with your face burying deep into his shoulder. 

“Hey, hey, everything is going to be okay, Doc. The Great Captain Usopp has come to rescue you.” 

You didn’t want to peel yourself off him, but his hands were already on your shoulders and gently moving you away from him. He hadn’t seen yet what you looked like. It’s hard to get a clear view of someone when they are sprinting head on towards you. You tried to keep your eyes directed at the toes of your boots, but an all too familiar cook’s voice snapped your head back up. 

“Jesus, Doc, what did they do to you?”

You didn’t give him a response. You couldn’t. Not when you felt a dam of emotion crashing against your chest. If you spoke, you might break. So, you reached up and quickly pulled Sanji into a hug of his own and, without question, he responded in kind. His hands, however, held you more delicately than Usopp. Sanji saw your face. His eyes no doubt took in the extent of the damage to your body and deemed you fragile like fine china. 

You tried to think of what you should say. What you should ask. 

Ask about him. 

That’s what you really wanted to do until your eyes peaked over Sanji’s shoulder. The glimpse of moss-colored hair forced your arms to retract from the hug sooner than you would’ve liked, but your racing heart demanded confirmation that you weren’t being delusional. That Arlong hadn’t drowned every last bit of sanity from your mind. 

It wasn’t until Sanji released you and stepped back that Zoro came into view and, suddenly, your world felt whole again. 

You were hugging the waiter. 

Zoro could handle you hugging Usopp. It was logical. It made sense. But the waiter? Zoro wondered what fresh hell he’d walked into for this to even be a possibility. 

It wasn’t until he watched your arms slowly relax away from his shoulders that he prepared himself for when you would turn and face him. When you would finally realize he was there too and waiting along with everybody else. 

In a million ways this scenario played out in his head. While he’d laid aboard the Merry in his hammock staring up at the ceiling and imagined how you would look seeing him awake. Would time stop like it had in his dream? With your eyes glassy - ready to shatter - and your lips parted with either curse or praise ready for his to take on. Or when he’d stood at the stern of the ship, a piece of the broken bottle he’d shattered in his room pressed tight in his hand, as he looked out over the cerulean waters and played out how you’d both react to seeing each other again. 

Realistically, he wanted to remain stoic and calm. Zoro liked to imagine you, however, bolting towards him with all your chaotic energy bursting at the seams and engulfing him. His body instantly reacting to the charge of your body colliding into his and demanding his reaction. But Zoro himself? He couldn’t see himself being anything less than who he was, but the minute he heard your voice shout Usopp’s name, Zoro could no longer deny the way his heart raced. 

He wanted to hear you call his name with the same excitement and end it with the same breathless sound of disbelief. The jealousy that enveloped his heart and squeezed until he was ready to snarl felt like a dangerous thing when he realized the waiter had moved forward after Usopp let go and you’d wrapped your arms around him. The asshole practically tugged your feet off the ground with how tightly he held you. 

It must have been the sound of his thumb flicking the Wado Ichimonji free from his sheath that reminded everyone that he was there. It reminded the waiter he was there by the way his shoulders tensed: the way his arms dropped like a shrug from your body to step back and stare at Zoro. 

Zoro couldn’t care less. 

He’d been waiting - daydreaming - far too long about all the scenes that could play out. The desperate way his hands ached to reach out and touch you. Zoro knew he wanted you in every single way he could have you, and gods be with whoever got in his way. 

Waiters included. 

He wanted to have you come barreling towards him - to knock the wind out of him from being so excited to see him. It wasn’t until you’d let go of the waiter that Zoro realized you did knock the wind out of his lungs, but not in the way he’d hoped. 

You looked like his but something was wrong. The fire that burned behind your eyes was dulled out until it quietly roared. The smile that brightened up your face now barely moved past the cracks on your lips to shine a painful light on a kaleidoscope of bruises and cuts that decorated your face, neck, and - 

How far did they go? 

Zoro had imagined himself being stoic and unmoving; waiting for you to collide into him. Instead, he felt his body close the final gaps between the two of you in three solid strides with his hands carefully grabbing at your face. He saw the wince just as his palms touched down on your cheeks, and his thumbs gently moved you around so he could get the full extent of what exactly he was seeing.

“Who did this?”

A fire hotter than hell raged in his belly. It roared in his veins and threatened to burst out of him in a blur of cuts and violence. He wanted to kill every son of a bitch who’d laid a hand on you. 

“Zoro-“

It was the first time he’d heard you say his name. He’d imagined it sounding sweeter than the caution that was laced in your tone. 

“I know you’re an idiot but you can’t be that much of an idiot, shit stick,” Buggy snapped from inside the pouch at the waiter's back. You looked around confused and, if it was different circumstances, Zoro would’ve thought it was cute. “Obviously, whatever it is, Arlong did it. Again. Bad. Fish. Get it, yet?”

Zoro could tell it was true. The fear that flashed in your eyes. The sheer hatred that came after that took him by such surprise it knocked back his next words. It was all he needed to know that whatever it was this fishman was doing, it was enough to make your rose colored glasses fade into something horrific.

Zoro wasn’t sure why that thought broke him as much as it did. 

But he could see it wasn’t just Arlong. The more he looked, the more he could see from the tank top you wore a deep bruise that bloomed upwards like a riptide from between your breasts. The shallow breaths you took indicated to him your ribs were either fractured or broken. 

With every new swipe of his eyes across your body a new horror was unleashed and Zoro could barely think straight. His body vibrated violently as he held you, to the point your own hands wrapping securely at his wrists wasn’t to ground you, but him. 

The flash of orange hair in his peripherals told him Nami had finally made it to the group and his eyes lashed out to take hold of where she stood. 

“You let them do this to her?” His voice was the epitome of darkness. The boogeyman in body and voice as he tried to let you go and move towards Nami. 

“I didn’t let them do anything to her.”

Nami deserved more credit. The flash of uncertainty moved like a reflection through her icy expression just enough to know she was nervous. 

“She went to protect you and this is how you repay her?” Zoro sheathed. 

Whether it was to protect Nami or make sure she wasn’t alone it didn’t matter. Zoro knew you left to protect Luffy, but he also knew it was to protect Nami too. Whether it was from Arlong or herself, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact you believed you were doing it in the service of helping, and all Zoro could see was the abuse of that trust. The abuse of you. 

He tried to pull away but you moved in front of him. Your hands still holding onto his wrists even as he’d dropped his hands from your face. His hand struggling to find the hilt of the Wado Ichimonji for - for what? 

“Doc made her choice to come. Nobody asked her too, and I don’t need protection. I don’t need any of you.”

Her words only threatened to send him further over the deep end. He watched as you closed your eyes listening to Nami as she directed daggers at every single one of them. Zoro wasn’t sure if it’s because you’d heard the same speech on repeat or if it was something else. Maybe there was something else there they couldn’t see. It all felt possible because when you opened your eyes again to look up at him a tiredness settled into your shoulders and deepened the lines on your face. 

He should’ve asked more questions. Should’ve cared to do so. All Zoro cared about was the way you looked at him. 

Save me, Pirate Hunter…

His eyes roamed over your face and he knew he would do whatever it took to do just that. 

Luffy moved forward to talk to Nami, and Zoro wanted to tell him not to bother. This whole trip felt like a waste to save someone who didn’t seem particularly ready to be saved. Zoro thought you did, but something was gnawing at him. 

Let Luffy handle Nami. He would handle you. 

Zoro was steeling himself to say - what? He wasn’t sure and for a heart stopping minute it didn’t matter. Not when you looked up at him with mischief in your eyes and a smile that ruined his whole world. 

“I am so, so happy to see you’re awake.”

I woke up for you. 

A braver man would’ve said it. A man looking at the woman who had bewitched them both body and soul would say it. Zoro wanted to say it. He needed to get it out but he was torn between words and actions. He allowed himself to give into one of them when a tear slid down your face. His hand moved up to have his finger gently wipe it away. 

“I came to save you.”

A soft laugh pushed past your lips. Zoro wanted to crash his against yours to capture the sound and house it inside him forever. 

“I know.”

And you did. Surely by now there was no way he was being stoic; an unreadable force that stood unmoving against your hurricane. Zoro knew he was swept up and for once he didn’t care. He wasn’t sure what he would have said in return at that moment. All thoughts ceased when Nami’s words cut through the fog and reminded him of where they were. 

“Come on, Doc. We have to head back.”

“You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I’m letting you take her anywhere.”

Zoro’s words were final. He wasn’t leaving any room for discussion. How Nami would think even for a second that Luffy himself would let her take you back was beyond-

“I have to go-“

“Doc, you don’t need to go anywhere.” 

Luffy took a small step forward to remind you that he was there too. They were all there for you, but he made sure that Zoro and you still resided alone in the space Zoro created. 

“Doc. Look at you.” 

Usopp didn’t just sound defeated. The heartbreak was evident in his entire body as he motioned towards you. Usopp mentioned looking but he wasn’t able to do it himself. Every time Zoro caught him trying to stare at you, he watched as Usopp turned away. 

“How can you ask to go back - expect any of us to let you go back - when you look like this?”

If Zoro couldn’t make you see reason then maybe it would be Usopp. You’d tucked your chin against your chest, which made it impossible for him to see your eyes. Zoro didn’t need to see you to know what you were going to say. 

He was sure it was meant for everyone, but your voice was so soft Zoro could barely hear you. He wished he hadn’t. 

“You don’t understand. If I don’t go back he’ll hurt Nami or someone in the village. I can’t just leave.”

All the rage his body had begun to release came flooding back. He wanted to shake you - scream that you were being a fool but Zoro knew it was pointless. He remembered the determination that hardened your eyes in that damn lavender field when you told him caring didn’t make someone weak. Maybe it didn’t make them weak, but it sure as hell made them stupid. 

His nerves were frayed at the end and, like a drowning man, he reached for something to keep him grounded. Zoro was aware that both of his hands were back to clutching onto your face like the waves to the shore. His thumbs absentmindedly running along your checks to soothe either you or him, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t care that the position left no space between either of you. Zoro could care less what anyone thought or how intimate it placed you. What could he do to make you see that going back was suicide? 

Your hands were clutching at his wrists and Zoro allowed himself to believe that it meant you were staying. That the pleading in your eyes was for something else unspoken and not for him to let you go. How could he do that when he’d just found you? He could feel his own plea building at the back of his tongue. 

How was he supposed to let you go when you were going back to danger? When you were going somewhere he couldn’t follow and he couldn’t protect you the way he should. 

“And what about me?” 

Those four words fell without permission from his lips, and Zoro silently hated himself for it. He wanted to be selfish and say them. There wasn’t any denying it. He wanted to keep you rooted next to him forever and kill anything that tried to harm you again. Zoro wanted it so badly he could feel his hands tightening around you, his hand itching to take hold of the Wado and plunge it into every last fishmen who’d been fool enough to touch you, and it took every last ounce of strength he had left to stop. He didn’t want to put you in a place to choose, but the swelling of your right eye and the delicate mapping of purple and green bruises under the surface of your skin demanded he did. 

“Zoro. Please. Please, don’t make me choose.”

You did whisper this time. Your voice was too soft to carry past the small space he’d created with his body. Zoro was aware that what little space that’d been left between the two of you was gone. His body having closed it without him knowing, and his forehead inches away from resting down on yours. 

“I can’t let you go back.”

The words choked their way free from his chest. They weren’t tinged with sadness or melancholy, but colored in every last ounce of self-control he had left. 

This time, he did allow his forehead to dip those last remaining inches to gently press against yours. He hated how his own voice, under all that hellfire, sounded weak. He wanted to be strong, but a sickness of fear was brewing in his gut. The unknown weighed down on him until it threatened to crush him into the dirt. 

“What do you want me to say? What is it you need me to say to keep you here? What if I tell you, right now, I’m sorry-“

“Zoro,” there it was - the crack in your voice. “Zoro, I am begging you not to do this now.”

“Why not? What if this is the last time I get to see you before you run off and play the sacrificial lamb.” 

“You act like I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for you too!”

Your words dimmed the tide of his rising anger. It wasn’t real. He knew his growing rage steamed from the terror growing in his chest that he would let you go and this would be the last time he’d ever get to hold you. Feel his hands on your face and your eyes looking up at him like you wanted nothing else but him. 

Zoro prayed you could see how much he wanted you - how stupid he was to deny the fondness he held for you in his chest. He believed that you both had nothing but time stretched out before you, and he was learning painfully fast that life didn’t play by romanticized thoughts. 

He should’ve told you sooner…

“And you act like I wouldn’t give mine just to make sure you were safe. I woke up and found you gone with a stupid letter telling me to apologize.”

“It doesn’t seem like you’re doing much of any kind of apologizing, by the way.” 

There you were. That light smile on your lips that tilted them just enough. It wasn’t a full one, not the one he'd groan to love, but it was enough. The spark of mirth in your eyes that rose like a shooting star and fell just as quickly. 

“That comes after she admits that she needs to stay next to me where I can keep her safe.” 

He already knew what you were going to say before you looked away from him forcing him to release his hands from your face. He knew your answer as if you were both tethered together, because only though it had been a few weeks, Zoro knew you enough that you would never let someone take your place. 

When you looked back at him, Zoro felt his world spin as he tried to quiet the rushing tide of blood to his heart. He needed to keep his composure for you, but knew he was failing miserably. He felt so helpless and it only grew worse when the first tear slid down your cheek. 

“He will hurt Nami. The village. The children. One life for the life of many is a small price to pay.” 

“And what if I say it’s a big price for me? Why can’t you see that? I’m not great with words. I don’t say the right things -“ he spoke your name and Zoro watched the way it affected you. He would say it over and over again like he was worshiping at your altar if it would make you stay. “A piece of me will die if anything to you. Do you understand that?” 

And there it was. The truth Zoro had wanted to stay away from. Seven years ago, he found out what it felt like to lose someone he loved. 

Kuina. 

Seven years and the pain of her loss stuck with him like a fresh wound. The promise they’d made the only memory he could carry forward for her along with her sword. What could he keep with him if you died? A shattered bottle and words of regret to gather dust on his conscience.

“Doc, we need to go. Now.”

Zoro couldn’t stop himself from tearing his eyes away to look at Nami who was currently looking at all of them like she hated every last one of them. The rage that Zoro had suppressed was stoked back to life at Nami’s words. It was a welcome familiar feeling compared to his chest feeling like it would cave in at any minute. The harsh way she spoke to you like you weren’t her crew mate - a friend. Like you weren’t risking your life for her the same way Luffy was. 

“She’s not going back with you,” Zoro snapped. His own jaw set tight as that rage boiled hot under his blood. “You can go back on your own and deal with your own consciences.”

“Excuse me?”

Nami didn’t back down under the weight of his gaze; the way his eyes dug daggers into her. 

“You heard me.”

“Oh, I heard you, but she’s about as much a part of this crew as I am. Which is none. She’s branded an Arlong Pirate, just the same as me. Doc. Let’s. Go.”

Branded? Where? 

You went to step back and Zoro’s hand lashed out to grab at your forearm to yank you back. You were about to crash into his chest, his other arm ready to lock around your waist, when you surprised him with your own fit of strength and pulled yourself free, causing youself to stumble back. 

“Enough, Zoro!” You hissed. “I’m going back and it’s final. I’m not going to let someone else pay for my choices.”

His body threatened to lurch forward again. To grab you and throw you over his shoulder if thats what it took to get you to come back to the ship with him. Before he could even make his move, you gave him one last look before you turned on your heel and jogged over to Nami leaving him where you’d both stood alone. He watched as Nami cast them all one last look of defiance before she said something to you - something that made you both move faster out of the village. 

A nervous laugh cut through the tension the silence created, and Zoro didn’t have to look over to know it was Usopp. He was currently adjusting his bandana as he watched until your retreating forms completely disappeared from view.

“That went about as bad as it possibly could have gone,” Usopp laughed, his voice filled with unease. 

“We should have stopped Doc,” Sanji huffed. “Did you see how she looked?”

“We all saw how she looked,” Zoro snapped. 

Sanji’s eyes narrowed in on him and Zoro was ready to welcome the fight. Anything to release the storm of emotion that was building inside of him. 

“Yeah, you saw it, and yet, you let her go. Some big man you are.”

Zoro felt his feet shift in the sand with his hand on the hilt of the Wado, ready to unsheathe the blade, when Luffy thoughtlessly moved between them. His eyes still turned towards the gates of the village you’d left through. 

“I bet Doc knows something more than she can say.”

“How can you be so sure, Luffy?” Usopp asked. 

It didn’t surprise Zoro to see a small smile creep at the edges of his mouth in an attempt to lighten the load of his thoughts. He was trying to put them all at ease, which felt like a mountain of a task with the memory your battered body left on their souls. 

“Because I know, Doc. She leads with her heart, and I’m going to trust her on this. Come on. We are going to do some digging of our own. Hey, scar guy!”

With one final glance at the gate all four of them moved towards the gentleman standing at the edge of his house. His eyes filled with distrust as he watched them move towards him. Zoro could care less about finding out more information about Nami and her reasons, but if it helped him get closer to wherever you were he would gladly follow Luffy’s lead. As long as it leads him back to you. 

Nami and you walked in silence. You didn’t know what to say and, by the way she was gripping the tribute box, neither did she. You weren’t sure what had been said between Luffy and Nami. What she said to the rest of the crew. You knew whatever it was it hadn’t been the truth, and saying it had broken another piece of who she was - what she wanted. 

You wanted to comfort her. Say some pretty words that may, or may not, heal her world like the magic inside the books of fairytales. You wanted to have magic the way fairy godmother’s seemed to have where all the girls’ dreams came true, and all the bad things in their life made sense.

Sometimes, bad things happen to those least deserving. It didn’t have a rhyme or reason. The world just wasn’t built on make believe no matter how many times when you were little you hoped it was. Yes. You wanted to say something profound and meaningful, but another part of you wanted to turn around and run back to him. 

Zoro was awake. He was awake and okay, well, about as okay as one could be when you’re still healing a large gash across your chest. 

I came to save you. 

You wish you could memorize those words - the way he looked at you - forever in the pages of your notebook. Maybe one of these days you would commit the image to the page, buried between recipes and diagrams of plants and the body. Your own secret page bookmarked with a snowdrop. 

Zoro didn’t say it. Not outright that what you felt that night in the galley wasn’t just you. Somewhere along the lines of annoyance, the two of you had unexpectedly fallen for one another. For so long, you thought it was just you. That you were crazy and the shared looks as you both said goodnight were just your imagination. He had always been intense. The way he looked at you and the weight of his gaze that always felt like a challenge. You never realized before but, while that same intensity hardened the darkness in his eyes, Zoro softened just a little when he looked at you. 

You witnessed it today when his hands took hold of your face and became rooted there to hold you. His body pressed itself against yours in a way you weren’t even sure Zoro had been aware of. It all happened so fast. An embarrassment burned against your cheeks as you remembered his reaction came from seeing you. 

How awful did you look? 

You didn’t know - couldn’t know. Mirrors weren’t really a luxury afforded to you at the moment. Not that you really wanted to know how you looked. You were so deep in thought you hadn’t realized Nami came to a stop a few feet back. The sound of her calling your name bringing you back to the present. 

“Earth to Doc! Where are you going?”

“Sorry, I was just-“ Nami waited for you to answer and you would have if you didn’t finally notice she was holding a shovel. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Hey, why are you holding a shovel?”

This is Grade A detective work you were doing. For further emphasis, in case Nami didn’t quit get what you meant, you added in a little pointing to drive the question home. 

“The village was short on their payment. I can’t go back to Arlong with what they have.”

“Yes. Okay. I’m not following. Why do you still have a shovel?”

The eye roll Nami gave was heard by the gods. She didn’t answer you right away. She took off her satchel and set it down beside a tree and walked over towards the opposite side of a grave site. The shovel struck down hard into the earth and brought up dirt all before she answered you. 

“If we go back without the full amount, Arlong will send someone to that village and have them killed. Since no one paid the tribute fee that means all of them will be killed. Do you get it now?”

You felt sick. Your own feet carried you over to the opposite side of Nami. You needed to see her face when you asked her, “Why is it called a tribute payment?”

You felt like you knew why it was a tribute. You just hoped maybe, for once, Nami could prove you wrong and the situation wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Nami rolled her tongue across the inside of her cheek as she regarded you. A sinking feeling was growing as you realized she didn’t want to say it either. 

“It’s a tribute to Arlong for letting them live. They can’t pay, and they lose their usefulness.”

“Okay. So, again I ask, why are we here? What’s with the shovel?”

“I have money, okay! I have money buried here to pay for every last villager so that way Arlong doesn’t attack them.”

Nami’s chest was rising and falling like she’d just run a marathon. Or finally spoke her truth. How long had Nami paid for every villager to keep them alive? How long had she continued to be the figure of their hatred without them ever knowing exactly what it was she sacrificed for them?

“Nami-“

She swiftly held up her hand to stop you from continuing. 

“Don’t, Doc. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, Nami! What else have you been doing? I knew it. I knew there was no way in hell you would work for that asshole without a reason.”

“And what do you think it is going to prove?”

“That you are a good fucking person, Nami! A good person who deserves so much more than this.”

You were both screaming at each other. The two of you are a mirror of the self-control that was slowly dwindling between the rapid rise and fall of your chests. You took a cautious step towards her and for a moment you thought she was going to hit you with the shovel to keep you away. 

“Nami, Luffy is here. He came here for us. If you tell him what is going on-“

“He doesn’t need to know. I have the money to pay for the villagers and to buy back the village. Once that’s done, I’m done with Arlong.”

I’m free. Those were the unspoken words that clung to the air between you. You wanted to ask her if she really believed that, because you didn’t. You’d only known Arlong for a week but it was enough to tell you he wasn’t going to let anyone go. 

“You don’t have to do it alone. Not anymore. Please, let me go back and tell Luffy.”

“No. After what I said to them…”

She couldn’t finish. You didn’t know what all was said, but you knew Luffy was still here. That underneath all the denial Nami threw his way, Luffy had been able to see it was just a defense mechanism. You weren’t sure if magic was real in the world, but if it was real, somehow Luffy possessed a form of it. He had the ability to see people for who they truly were. To see the dreams of others, and believe in them even when they didn’t believe in themselves. 

Nami was always the one who never mentioned a dream she held close. In the nights when promises, hopes, and dreams were mentioned Nami never shared hers. Everyone assumed she just didn’t have one - that the world jaded her enough to completely steal it away. Only Luffy knew deep down she had one and wasn’t willing to give up on her until she realized it too. 

“You know, no matter what you’ve said to him, Luffy isn’t going to hold it against you. You don’t have to do this alone, Nami. Not when you have a family who loves you.”

Your words jerked her head up and she looked ready to bolt. To argue with you and tell you that she didn’t have a family - you weren’t a family, but family didn’t need to be by blood. Blood didn’t make someone love you. It was the choice to do so, and even if Nami fought you until she was blue in the face you would still choose to call her family. 

You took a step towards her and stopped just mere inches from her. Your hands carefully reached out to grab her shoulders to help her understand you weren’t going anywhere. 

“I’ll only tell Luffy if that’s what you want, Nami, but I promise you the rest of them feel the same way. They wouldn’t have come here for you if they didn’t.”

“Zoro came here for you,” she noted. 

“That’s besides the point.”

Nami looked at you and for once she did it without her usual mask of indifference. The only thing you saw in her eyes was a mixture of fear and relief and you weren’t sure which one it was that was winning. 

“This isn’t your fight. Why would you do this? I don’t understand.”

“I told you. We're family. I know you aren’t leaving until you finish this, and I’m not leaving without you.”

Nami’s worry became all the more evident as her teeth began to gnaw at her bottom lip. She was struggling to decide what action to take. Your offer would remain even if she told you right now it wasn’t going to happen. You meant it when you told her that you weren’t leaving this hellhole without her. 

You were about to say something else - maybe less heartfelt and more cringy - but Nami saved you by blowing out a breath. You dropped your hands away from her and waited as patiently as you could for her answer. 

“Okay.”

“Yes!”

You couldn’t keep yourself from doing a victory jump. You wish Usopp was there. You both could’ve been jumping and screaming together. 

“If you are going to do that I’ll take it back.”

“Too late! You already said okay.” 

“I swear to god if you start dancing I’m leaving.” Nami really knew how to kill the mood. “Look, we still need to bring the tribute payment back. I’ll dig this up, deliver it, and remind Arlong of our deal. You try and find Luffy and meet me at the edge of the tangerine grove by the park.”

“That was one hell of a fast plan.”

Nami shrugged before she grabbed the shovel and started digging. 

“Plans are what I do. Now get going. It’s already getting dark.”

You glanced up at the sky and found its usual blue hue burning into a warm orange with the smoke of darkness following closely behind. Nami knew that you were running out of time. Whether this plan of hers worked or not, if neither of you returned back to Arlong Park, you knew he would come looking for you both. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything major until I’m back.”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

“Nami-“

“Because you’re the one usually making rash decisions-“

“Nami, promise me.”

You didn’t care if fear laced inside your voice and forced it to shatter. You weren’t worried about being brave because you were scared as hell. You’d be a fool to be any different. There were so many unknowns stretched out before you both. Connecting paths that wound their way to places neither of you had touched. 

With one last look back at Nami, she finally gave you a nod before she whispered, “I promise,” before you bolted back towards Coco Village. You could hear her screaming after you that you hadn’t promised back. You were well aware you hadn’t and honestly, you never intended too. 

Why did it seem like you were always running? When you first meet Luffy, Nami, and Zoro you ran out of Kaya’s house trying to save Luffy from the poison he’d ingested meant for Kaya. You’d run back to find Zoro climbing out of a well which, come to think of it, you never asked him why he was down there in the first place. Then followed Zoro in the wrong direction to stumble upon Luffy who sent all three of you sprinting back towards the house. You’d thought after that day you were done with running. 

The universe must have found it hilarious that you were sprinting back towards Coco Village. Your muscles burning as you force yourself to move faster down grove after grove. The chances of Luffy and them still standing in the spot you’d left them wasn’t realistic. Would it have been convenient? Hell yes. Realistic? Absolutely not. 

You came to a sliding stop through the village gates. It was hard not to take notice of the villagers giving you dirty looks for your haphazard entrance. Usually, you would’ve felt more apologetic but you didn’t have time for pleasantries. 

You made your way around the giant tree that was centered in the middle of the village. The last place you’d seen them had been on the East side of the huts. They’d walked in to see Nami collecting the tribute payment while you’d been off with Nazifa. Now there wasn’t any trace that they’d even been there. 

Your mind was racing trying to figure out where they might have gone. You weren’t a bloodhound. Without any indication or note or flare in the sky it felt like a wild goose chase in finding them. Your hands went up to scrub in irritation at your face, and when you brought them back down from your face Nazifa was just there in front of you. A scream tore from your throat that caused you both to jump. Every villager out that night sent you both death glares that forced you to hold up your hands in apology. 

“Nazifa, you scared me.”

“You came back so soon. I thought you said you’d be back in a few days.”

“My friends. The one in the straw hat: do you by chance know where they went?”

When she shook her tiny head no you tried not to deflate. This wasn’t the time to get sad or down. Nami was still waiting for you to get bac-

“No I don’t. Mr. Genzo might.”

“Mr. Genzo?”

Nazifa turned and pointed to the constable who stood back out on the deck of his office. You thanked Nazifa for the info and walked towards him. It was easy to see the minute his eyes caught sight of you, mistrust clouded his features. It wasn’t just that he didn’t know you. He’d seen you with Nami. 

You tried to plaster on a friendly smile and felt your busted lip crack under the strain. It was a great reminder that under different circumstances you might have been able to win him over with your warmth. In your current state, however, you looked less inviting, and more like a walking punching bag. 

“Hello.” You followed up your opening statement with an awkward wave. “I was wondering if you might be able to help me. A few of my friends were here earlier.”

“The Pirate Hunter in the straw hat.”

You felt yourself slowly blink at him as your brain tried to process what he’d just said. 

“Pirate…Hunter?”

“Yeah. It’s what the green-haired guy with the sword said. They said they were here for Arlong’s bounty.” 

It was smart. You were willing to bet Zoro had mentioned it to save Luffy from telling Mr. Genzo he was a pirate. It probably wouldn’t have won over any favors from him or the villagers if he’d mentioned his intentions of being The Pirate King. 

“Yes. Those guys. Do you know where they might have gone?”

“They asked about Nojiko. If you’re looking for them, I sent them down to her house. It’s at the edge of the tangerine grove.”

Fucking great. You tried to smile past the pain of realizing that meant you were once again going to have to run. You turned sharply on your heel and started running down the direction that Genzo mentioned. 

It felt like you could’ve been running back towards Nami. The endless sea of tangerines that you’d fallen in love with earlier suddenly felt overwhelming. The citrus in the air only grew heavier the further you went inside the pasture. It was the only thing that let you know you weren’t headed back to Arlong Park, where the smell of citrus was replaced with fish. 

Your muscles were beginning to burn and your breathing labored the further you went. You were deadly close to giving up - slowing down to a crawl when you remembered Nami was no doubt back at Arlong Park. The money she’d stolen to save the people in her village was handed over to the very monster who imprisoned you both. Tormented you both. 

What would she tell him when she walked in and you weren’t by her side? How much time could one of her well-constructed lies give you before Arlong’s distrust sent his people out searching for you? You couldn’t afford to slow down no matter how much your muscles threatened to collapse. You refused to give him the chance to hurt Nami or anyone else. 

With that thought still searing through your brain you came crashing through the end of the grove. The dirt path widening to show a worn down lane placed to walk between the three huts that were scattered. Your eyes scanned down to the very last hut where the light of candles burned. 

“Last hut at the end,” you hummed to yourself. 

You tried to start running the last few feet but your legs refused to move. Your legs almost crumbled at the suggestion so you settled for a brisk walk. You were almost to the house when your eyes caught his figure. He was sitting out on a rock. The Wado clasped tightly in his hand and held the length of his body. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was napping like he usually did, but the closer you got to the hut the easier it was for you to see the tightness that resonated throughout his body. 

Gods, you’d forgotten how good he looked in that damn cloud button up. The different hues of blue made his current ashen tone more apparent and made you long for the healthy glow the sun had deepened into his skin. The only thing you hadn’t forgotten is the look on his face as you’d left him standing inside the village. His pleas haunting you with each step you took; your muscles aching to turn around and collide back into him. 

You knew it had taken everything for Zoro to speak so openly - so honest - with you the way he did. It was everything you’d wanted to hear that night in the galley. It seemed you were both doomed to be speaking at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

You were only a few inches away from him now when his head turned in your direction. The minute his eyes opened and Zoro saw it was you he was up and moving. His hand quickly slid the Wado Ichimonji back into the holster at his hip. It felt wrong seeing him with only one. Your mind seemed keen to remind you exactly why Zoro only had one sword left. 

Flashes of Mihawk slicing through his swords in a clash of metal made your body jerk. Your heart clamored in horror in your chest: you didn’t want to remember the next part. Your memories didn’t care about your feelings, and as Zoro moved towards you, a flash of discomfort so brief ran through him it caused his hand to involuntarily touch his chest. It was all your nightmares needed to revisit one of the worst moments of your life. 

By the time Zoro was within reaching distance, your hands shot out to grab at his face the way he’d held on to yours. It felt so damn good to be able to feel his skin underneath your palms. The soft tickle of his breath touching on your skin to let you know Zoro was alive. He was real and whole and he was yours. If only for this moment, because he didn’t push you away. 

A cautious hand reached down to lay claim at your waist and every nerve within your body came alive at his touch. How was it possible to experience something so simple as a touch and it felt this electric? It couldn’t be normal to feel at peace and trapped inside a hurricane all at once, but that was exactly what it felt like standing in Zoro’s presence. 

“Doc, what are you doing here?”

Yes, what were you even doing anymore? You’d come for a reason and it wasn’t just to stand here gawking up at him and-

“Nami.”

“Nami?”

Zoro repeated her name back to you. The confusion only creased his brow further as his eyes scanned over your face. That was all it took for you to release the hold that you had on him. Your feet trying to backpedal away from him, to find safety in the shadows, but you’d forgotten one minor detail. His hand was still rooted to your body and when you moved to step back, Zoro easily followed. 

“Zoro, please.”

Gods, whatever you do, do not cry. If you started, you weren’t sure you would ever stop. 

“Doc, what’s wrong?”

He just didn’t know how to read people. Zoro was too busy trying to gently get you to look back at him. Gently because he wasn’t blind. He no doubt saw every bruise and cut and gods know what else that littered across the expanse of your skin. You weren’t sure why that knowledge made you hate it even more. 

“I know I look terrible.”

You tried again in vain to move away. Zoro refused to budge in his hold and when you tried to look away his hand gently caught your cheek. With the same softness you weren’t aware he even possessed, Zoro tilted your chin up until your eyes finally locked with his. 

“I’ve never seen anyone look more beautiful.” 

It was at this moment you realized you were dangerously close to breaking down. The only thing that kept you from doing it was the wince you earned when you thoughtlessly placed your hand on his chest. 

“Oh gods, Zoro I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. When was the last time you had it properly cleaned? Changed the dressing? Have you been taking the antibiotic I left you?”

This was familiar and safe. The emotions that threatened to capsize you moments before were a thing of the past as you regarded him with a doctor’s keen eye. At the mention of the antibiotic you noticed a shift in his gaze and you immediately knew your answer. 

“Funny you should ask about the antibiotic-“

“Zoro,” you used his name as a warning. 

“I broke the glass it was in.”

Your response to this admission? You smacked him in his shoulder and you could’ve sworn you saw the telltale sign of a smirk. 

“Why the hell would you go and do that?”

“Maybe because the woman who made it for me decided to disappear while I was unconscious.”

“You wouldn’t have been unconscious if you hadn’t fought the world’s strongest swordsman.”

“It’s the world’s greatest swordsman,” he corrected through his teeth. 

“Whatever! Potato tomato!”

You didn’t want to tell him you were already looking at the world’s greatest swordsman, if your opinion mattered at all. But you didn’t want to take away the taste of humble pie Mihawk had bestowed to Zoro with a side of life lesson. 

“Where is Luffy? I need to talk to him about Nami.”

At the mention of her name, Zoro’s mood noticeably soured. You were tempted to smack him a second time, but tried to remember that Nami didn’t make it easy to think she needed help. Especially if she was telling you to fuck off left and right. 

“Luffy went out for a walk.”

“A walk?”

“Jesus, woman,” Zoro seethed. 

He literally looked up at the sky as if someone was supposed to answer him or something. You couldn’t stop yourself from mimicking him and asking him after your eyes drifted back down, “You find any answers up there?”

It was a wonder that this was the same man who had, hours before, looked at you like he loved you. 

“Luffy went on a walk. He’ll be back eventually if you want to wait.”

“I don’t have that kind of time, but you’re his first mate! I can just tell you.”

It was brilliant. What wasn’t brilliant? Smacking Zoro in the chest like he wasn’t trying to heal one of the biggest flesh wounds known to man. This time, you not only earned a wince but got a grunting noise that shouldn’t have sounded as sinful as it did. Even hotter was the grumpy look he gave you.

“I’ll pass if it involves you assaulting me every five seconds.”

A tsk passed through your lips as you regarded him. You were willing to bet he’d been wearing the same dressing since you’d left. With no antibiotic or ointments on the wound there was a strong possibility it could fester. 

“How about I pass along the message for you to give him while I clean your wound. I get to give you important information and you get to have a cleaned wound and a fresh bandage.”

You didn’t give him a chance to say no. You reached out and grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards the steps of the hut. It wasn’t until you were up the stairs and pushing the door open that you hadn’t thought about gently knocking on the door or giving words of introduction. You’d just assumed no one was inside and lucky for you it was. Kind of. 

You scanned the house and took notice of the dishes that were stacked next to the sink. The pot and utensils that were laid out to dry the same way a certain Chef you knew liked to do. When you were far enough inside to be comfortable, you released his hand and turned on him, almost colliding with his chest. You had to swallow down a scream of shock. 

“Okay. Start unbuttoning your shirt and I’ll tell you the message to tell Luffy.”

Zoro just stood there like an unmovable statue. You weren’t sure he was going to stay or turn around and leave until his hands slowly moved to the first button. The rough tips of his calloused fingers moved with ease to start undoing the first button on his shirt. Your throat instantly ran dry. Even worse? Zoro didn’t even look down to see if he was in the right spot. His eyes solely locked on your face and you wondered if he could see the growing blush that was beginning to tint your cheeks. 

“This feels vaguely familiar.”

Zoro’s words were tinged with teasing and this time you did catch the slight tilt of his lip as he smirked down at you. 

“What are you talking about?”

You were genuinely confused. Flustered. You were confused and most definitely flustered as Zoro was on to his third button, and gods was it hot in this particular hut or was it just you?

“A couple weeks ago I was at a mansion in Syrup village with my captain. When I went to leave my room this crazy woman was at my door, and dragged me back inside.”

“Wait a minute! Are you calling me crazy-“

“I’m having a strange sense of Deja vu.” 

While Zoro had been retelling the first time you’d met, his fingers had worked their way down to his naval. Zoro was literal seconds away - two buttons left - from exposing his chest to you. It was ridiculous. Truly, that you would be this affected by him and he still technically hadn’t exposed anything. 

You’ve treated dozens of men while back on the island. Some of them had ended up shirtless and one gentleman had even ended with his trousers around his knees while you’d tweezed out porcupine quills from his…well. From an area. This should’ve been like those times. Where you were in control. You were a professional. 

But those other men weren’t Roronoa Zoro, and nothing on this earth could have prepared you for the moment he finished with that last button. 

The shirt draped around him and left a two-inch line of his chest exposed. Under different circumstances it might have shown skin underneath, but currently a stark white bandage was your one saving grace from keeping you from completely losing your mind. A stark white bandage that was noticeably tinged with blood. 

It was all you needed to get your shit together. Yes, Zoro was an attractive man. An infuriating attractive man but he was still a man and he needed ten-

Was it normal for someone to be this muscular? You’d seen Zoro workout a couple times on the ship. Witnessed first hand the way he’d swing around eight-hundred pounds like it was nothing. The endless sets of sit-ups and push-ups he subjected himself too. It made perfect sense he would be nothing but corded hard muscle. 

You needed to push the shirt back further so you could see the extent of the wound and begin to remove the old bandage. To do that, however, it meant you had to touch him. You didn’t care if Zoro knew why you were blowing out a raspberry before your hands moved under the fabric at his shoulders. The minute your hands touched down on the skin you weren’t sure if you were going to remain calm. It became harder when you started to push back the fabric and it exposed his chest to the room. If it wasn’t for the bloody bandage, you might have completely gone off the deep end. 

“Because I am a professional,” you began, your voice lighter than a whisper, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just suggest I was acting like a crazy pervert the first time we met.”

The tick at the corner of his mouth was the only warning you got before a smile erupted on his face. A smile that was directed towards you without restraint. It was meant solely just for you, and if it wasn’t for his hands that secured itself to your waist, it would’ve knocked you on your ass. You wanted to tell him he should smile more often but, on second thought, you weren’t sure you would survive it if he did. 

You wanted to ask how his hands were back on your hips. You were just going to change his bandage. It should’ve been so simple, but how could anything like this be simple when he was looking at you like this? Zoro kept stealing glancing down to your lips. 

“You’re bleeding. You should let me change your bandage.”

You came back. 

Zoro had been meditating on that rock waiting for Luffy. He didn’t know where his captain went after their talk on the roof, but he hadn’t been worried. He was worried about you.

His mind swirled with dozens of possibilities. A game plan for how he was going to bust inside Arlong Park and get you out. How he was going to maim and murder every last fishmen that had ever been stupid enough to touch you. 

And then you came barreling out of the tangerine grove and towards him in a fashion only you could do. It took everything in him not to get up at that moment and run to meet you. It took everything in him not to stop you, mid-rant, and silence you by crashing his lips to yours. 

Zoro was so used to being stoic. The picture of calm and unshakable to his core. All of that changed when you stepped inside his orbit, and he knew he would never be the same because of it. Zoro had to know you would always be a part of him and that meant no more denying. 

The banter between you felt damn good when it happened. It felt natural. As natural as training or having the Wado beside him everywhere he went. Zoro needed you the same way. Beside him, with the knowledge you’d be waiting for him back on the Merry when he left.

So, Zoro wasn’t sure what sparked this. It was an everyday thing. You weren’t dressed any differently - or any different than the crazy top he knew Nami was responsible for. You weren’t acting any different. You were your normal self but something inside him stirred. A storm of wants and needs was clouding his judgment and rolled through his thoughts like thunderclouds. 

“You’re bleeding. You should let me change your bandage.”

He wasn’t thinking. 

Zoro could only feel the drive to consume you in every fiber of his being until it controlled him. The flames of that consuming drive only rose higher when your hands delved under his shirt - touched his skin. 

The need. 

It’s all he felt. All he could think about. 

You were self-conscious of the way you looked, but Zoro had meant it when he told you, you were beautiful. The bruises and the cuts would fade and under all that you would remain. Zoro wasn’t worried about the physical. He worried more about what was underneath the surface, and he would make you see - know - that it changed nothing for him. Zoro would remain here with you for as long as you would have him. 

The best way to do this? A kiss.

Zoro had made his mind up the minute he’d woken up without you beside him. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. 

His eyes scanned your face as his hand snaked behind your neck to lift you up just enough that when his lips pressed down onto yours it was soft. Chaste. 

It was everything he didn’t want to be. 

Zoro hadn’t kissed many women. They weren’t really ever in his plans and while, yeah he had his urges, he learned to dull it out with the booze. Easier to dull it out when some of the kisses he received were from sloppy drunk women in the booths at bars. It became increasingly apparent that wasn’t the case when it came to you. Zoro found himself having to drink more just to dull simple urges like the one he was doing now.

Zoro didn’t want to dull it out. He didn’t want to fight it anymore. He would make space for you in his dreams, because you’d become a part of that too. 

He pressed his lips against yours again, and this time added more pressure. Your hand moved to mimic his hand that he’d placed on your neck, except you didn’t stop there. Your fingers delved into his hair and Zoro could feel every nerve erupt at your touch. His grip on your neck and hip tightened and brought you flush against him. 

He couldn’t hold back with chaste pecks any longer. He needed to kiss you - really kiss you - before he went mad. His tongue traced the edge of your bottom lip, begging for entrance, and you submitted to him with ease. 

With every small sound you made as his tongue delved between your lips, tasted you, and explored you a response of his own was brewing in his chest. One that was more animalistic than man: a sound that threatened to break every last reserve he had. 

You’d wrapped your arms around his shoulders and used them to pull him closer. A hand lost itself in your hair and when your fingers lightly tugged at the small hair at the base of his scalp, a growl vibrated against your lips causing his fingers to fist your hair. 

He hadn’t meant it. It was a reflex he couldn’t control and yet…

You tore your mouth away and he expected a scream; to be chastised for the randomness of the pain. Instead, he watched as a moan came strangled between heavy breaths filtered through the space. He didn’t give you a second to catch a breath before he secured a hand behind your neck and brought your lips crashing back down on his. His mouth devoured yours with a dangerous hunger that possessed him. 

Zoro wondered what pretty noises you would make for him if he’d place his hand just right on your neck. If you would like that too as he squeezed and pulled as he pushed and stretched you open just for him. What his name would sound like dripping with pleas and panting while his hips pushed up into you. What pretty noises could you make for him then? It didn’t take Zoro long before he realized he was desperate to find out. 

“I’m still sad I missed dinner, but at least I get a show.”

Everything came to a halt at the sound of an all too familiar voice. While Zoro was willing to bet you were rosy cheeks and embarrassment, he felt murderous. The minute his mouth parted from yours his head whipped around Nojiko’s hut looking for the clown in question. It wasn’t hard to spot his smug face in the corner of the room sitting on top of a barrel.

How they’d missed him when they first came in…

“It’s so great to see you again, Doc,” Buggy beamed. “Although, I’m sure I didn't miss you as much as our big strong not-so-silent swordsman here.”

Zoro had turned to face Buggy, but you’d stayed behind him. Your forehead buried into his back as you let out a groaned, “Kill me now.”

Buggy’s annoying laughter filled the small space, and all Zoro wanted to do was kick him into oblivion. 

Stupid fucking clown. 

After the beyond embarrassing moment you’d shared with Zoro inside the hut, you’d moved outside to finish cleaning and rebandaging his wound. You’d done so without any further touching. While you wanted nothing more than to allow Zoro to grab and kiss you like he had, you could still hear Buggy inside making kissy noises. 

You weren’t sure if the embarrassment would ever go away. Zoro on the other hand looked ready to murder him. 

While you rebandaged him, you’d shared what you could about Nami. Where she’d asked everyone to meet later in the night once everything was done. It wasn’t until it was time for you to leave that Zoro grabbed your arm to pull you close to him. 

“I can’t let you leave.”

Underneath all that murderous rage he was dealing with you could see the same thing you’d seen earlier that day. Fear. It must have been a wild new emotion for him, because Zoro was one of the most fearless people you ever met. You didn’t know if you should’ve found it flattering or worrisome he was scared to let you go. 

“It’ll be alright. I’ll be waiting with Nami, and once Luffy gets back you’ll all meet us there.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“It’s cause it’s Nami’s plan.”

“When has anything we’ve ever done gone to plan?”

It was a damn good question. Right now wasn’t the time to dwell on the few that hadn’t completely gone like they were supposed too. You needed him to have a little faith in the plan. 

You allowed him to pull you close by your waist. The immediate feel of him pressed tight against you sent a searing memory of his kiss, his hand tightening in your hair, and the gasp he’d coaxed from you. Gods, you wanted to kiss him again, and by the look Zoro kept giving you, you knew he did too. 

Now wasn’t the time for this. Nami was possibly waiting for you, and you didn’t want her to think you’d bailed. That the rest of your crew wasn’t coming to back her up. Gently, you placed a hand against Zoro’s chest before you looked up at him. 

“Things always work out in the end. Nami is waiting for me - for us - to be there for her. She’s been alone in this battle for too long, but she doesn’t have to be anymore.”

Zoro seemed to swallow down whatever argument he was trying to make. His obsidian eyes taking in your face, weighing his next words before a heavy sigh escaped him. 

“I don’t like this.”

“You’ve mentioned this before. And the time before that-“

“I’m being serious,” he’d used your name. Zoro hardly ever used your name. “How can you ask me to let you go back?”

“Because I need you to trust this isn’t the last time you’ll see me, Zoro.”

The both of you were trapped in a place of unknowing. He wasn’t sure what letting you go for the second time would mean and you, well, realistically you didn’t know what would be waiting for you when you got there. You just had to believe that everything was going to be okay. That all of this wasn’t going to be for nothing. 

Without giving it another thought, you moved up on your tip toes to gently press your lips against his cheek. The kiss causing his hand on your waist to tighten to try and pull you closer, but you fought against it. Your own feet begin to move away from him to start heading back through the tangerine grove. 

“I will save you. I promise and, when I do, you’re going to promise to never leave my side again.”

If darkness could be housed inside a person, you knew it would be in the form of Roronoa Zoro. As you back away, it was easy to see what all the pirates he hunted saw. His presence was menacing - a walking omen of someone’s impending demise. He was pure power embodied. Not even the night herself was willing to touch him. The edges of her darkness that played across his silhouette only outlined him further. Zoro radiated what hell itself feared and yet, he softened just for you. 

Zoro told you that you weren’t leaving his side once this was over. A part of you wanted to fight him on it; to crawl under his skin and make him bristle as you teased him. You knew, however, you’d gladly stand by his side through hell and back if that meant you were with him. 

You looked at him one last time - wanting to commit how he looked to memory - before you turned and started doing your least favorite activity. You didn’t have the luxury of taking your time. There was no telling how much time passed while you’d been tending to Zoro’s wound. You thought you were being productive while trying to explain as much as you could to him on what he needed to relay to Luffy. You were willing to bet that Zoro stopped listening halfway through your explanation. You were also willing to double down on that bet that instead of telling Luffy your much winded version, Zoro was going to condense it down to all of one sentence. If you were lucky he even did that.

Either way, you knew that Luffy would be there. You knew they would all be there to save you both. You were hyperfocused on the possible outcomes that you hadn’t heard it until it was too late. You weren’t sure it would’ve made a difference if you’d heard the footsteps before the impact. One minute, you were almost coming to the clearing at the end of the trees, and the next the air was being knocked from your lungs.

A body shot out from the dark to collide with yours. The two of you rolling around on the forest floor until you came to a stop. A forearm was pressed down against your throat. You wanted to try and buck whoever was straddling you off you, but their weight told you it would’ve been impossible. Besides, while you were trying to catch your breath, the presence of the arm pressing down on your trachea was making it worse. Your hands reached up to claw your nails down their skin in an attempt to get them to let go, just so you could catch your breath, when you felt the scales of a fishmen.

As the realization set in from the corner of your eye you watched Arlong walk from the shadows. A sickly grin already spread wide to show the rows of razor sharp teeth that only his kind could have. 

“Where do you think you are coming from?”

Somewhere in the back of your mind you could hear Zoro and his pessimistic tone warning you about plans. They never seemed to go the way you wanted. You couldn't explain why this time you’d thought it would end differently. It had too, right? So much had gone wrong last week. It only seemed fair.  

The world didn’t play in what was fair and just. 

Chew released his forearm that he’d pressed to your throat. Instantly, your body let out a violent cough that was made worse when he grabbed you by your shirt and hauled you to your feet. You’d barely got a solid breath in before Arlong launched his fist once, twice, into your stomach. You would’ve dropped to your knees if Chew wasn’t keeping you standing. Your arms pinned behind your back to leave your middle open and ready for the next assault Arlong unleashed. 

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and Chew picked you up to follow him. You knew where you were going. Arlong Park was only a couple more meters ahead of you. If you had the strength to dig your feet in, to try and escape, you would have. The foreboding feeling that wrecked your nerves told you there was a chance if you went in you weren’t coming back out. 

Arlong pushed inside the gates and hundreds of his crew were pressed into every inch of the park. They all looked at you with disgust. Some of them spitting like before in your direction as Chew pushed you forward; obediently following Arlong like a good human should. It wasn’t until he’d reached his self-made throne that he took to the stage like a zealot on a soapbox. His gaze roamed out to all the crew that had assembled. The entire thing felt ominous and reminded you of cults and the sacrifices they made under torchlight. It wasn’t hard to know who that sacrifice was. 

“My brothers! We have a traitor in our midst!”

 Please don’t say it’s me, please-

“This human has infiltrated our ranks. Promising a cure for a disease her people gave us. She rewards our kindness by also turning sister Nami against us.”

“What-“

A panic flared through you at the mention of her name. Where was Nami? The fire of panic was quickly doused, however, as Arlong swung back to silence you with the back of his hand. Blood rushed inside your mouth and spilled itself past your lips to drip on the wood below. 

“Silence! You think you can turn Nami against us? Against me?” 

With each word he spoke you could see the fury that this supposed betrayal was doing to him. He was a fishman possessed with rage, and that rage came lunging forward and sinking its teeth into your left shoulder. This time you did have enough air to scream, and scream as he wiggled like a dog trying to pry meat off the bone. You couldn’t fight him off. Chew held your arms trapped behind your back. You couldn’t move back with Arlong’s hands on your arms keeping you in place. All you could do was scream and feel the tear of your flesh and muscle until he let go. 

They both released you allowing you to drop to your knees in a sobbing mess. 

“You think I wouldn’t know what you were up to? This is my island. Everyone and everything on it belongs to me. You think you can save a couple of lousy villagers and I wouldn’t know?”

Nami warned you. She’d told you time and again that it hadn’t been a good idea. You’d thought she was just being ridiculous. You didn’t know how Arlong had found out, but at this point it didn’t matter. The damage was done and your punishment for that betrayal was well into effect. 

His face was decorated in your blood as he spit down at you. His gaze and arms wide as he took in his devoted followers that waited for his next commands. 

“We all know the truth of this world. Fishmen are the rightful rulers of the seas. And the humans know it too. They fear our power, so they bound us with chains. They loathe our presence, so they banned us from their cities.” 

Arlong walked the stage with the presence of a false prophet. He brought up the past and weaved the narrative of those errors, those transgressions, with each false fact. He played on their fear of being enslaved again to drive their fear into something vile and twisted. Something that burned with its own prejudice and demanded penance be paid for with blood and pain. 

“But we broke those chains, huh? Built our own cities. Now the time has come to restore the natural order of this world.”

In unison, all the fishmen shouted. How could they not see that remaking the world with more hate was never the answer? Arlong touched a few of his crew as he circled back to join you on his stage. 

“For centuries, humans have used us, kept us down. And our so-called leaders, they allowed it. Banners of unity and peace they so lovingly wave are, in truth, flags of surrender, willing defeat. I don’t know about you, but I ain’t surrendering.”

“Kill them all!”

Kill who- “No.”

You don’t know why it didn’t hit you until now. The torches they carried. The guns and swords at the ready in some of their hands. They were going out to attack Coco village - to kill the people that resided inside. 

Chew rushed forward and kicked you. His boot collided with your jaw and sent your body crumbling to the floor. 

“We are the embodiment of fishman superiority! And with the Grand Line map, we will reclaim our birthright. Our righteous rage will burn through Coco Village, to the ends of the East Blue, and as we move to the Grand Line and beyond, we will teach each and every human their rightful place, beneath us!”

To drive his point home, Arlong walked over to your fallen figure and placed his foot on your back. He pressed down violently causing you to scream again as he placed more of his weight against your spine. 

“Beneath us!”

“Yeah!”

“Beneath us!”

They shouted. They chanted until a chorus of their hatred rang out across the trees. You wondered if the villagers could hear the sound of their impending doom. If any of them would make it out alive. When he was finished, Arlong removed his foot from you and waited for Kuroobi to join him on the stage. 

“Go and destroy the village. Murder anyone you see. And Kuroobi - bring me back the human child she gave the medicine to.”

An icy shot of dread jolted down your spine. All the abuse they’d given you erased itself from memory as you struggled to get to your feet. Not Nazifa. 

“No! Don’t you touch her!”

Arlong rushed over to strike you and sent you flying back. The taste of chopper rushed fresh into your mouth even before your body landed against a pillar.

“Nami will pay for her treachery, and so will you. I’ll teach you both a thing or two about loyalty.” With a nod of his head, two fishmen rushed forward to grab a hold of you and lifted you up to your feet. “First, let’s get you ready for our little friend’s arrival. She should have you welcome her with arms wide open.”

Arlong’s rotten laughter putrefied the space. His arms open and mocking as you feel the first cold press of the chains being wrapped around your wrists. 

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Chaos in Their Bones Ch.7

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 13k+

A/N:  Thank you to everyone for being patient with me. I know this took a little longer than usual to be posted. This chapter is dark. Well, it deals with darker themes. It’s nothing too wild, just yet, but it’s heading there. This is a filler chapter and deals with the beginning of Doc and Zoro spending almost an entire week apart and a little more on Doc’s backstory. Thank you all for your music recommendations and the playlists you created. It helped me write this. I’m sorry if it isn’t that great. As always, thank you guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Previous

Warnings: mentions of torture

Five minutes. 

Five minutes Arlong gave you to go pack up your life on the Going Merry and report back to his ship. 

“If you aren’t back in five I’ll tear this place apart.”

You knew he meant it. The biggest giveaway was the way he’d kept a foot pressed against Luffy’s back. His clown henchmen repeatedly splashed water on him and laughed at every grimace they worked onto Luffy’s features. You knew it had to burn worse than that of a jellyfish sting. 

Mother Ocean held no sympathy for Devil Fruit eaters. Not even ones as good as Luffy.

You never knew you could hate someone so much in your life the way you hated Arlong. The way that hatred burned brighter under the weight of his dead eyes as they followed you up the ramp to the Merry. His guttural laughter chased you into your room where you struggled to gain your composure. 

This was the right call to make. That’s what you kept telling yourself. There was no doubt in your mind that Arlong would throw Luffy into the ocean just to make an example out of him. To laugh as he struggled to come to the surface knowing damn well Mother Ocean would never let him live. 

The world would be a lesser place without someone like Luffy in it. Your freedom for his life felt like such a small price to pay to make sure that didn’t happen. 

So, why did it feel so damn bad? Your room was still a haphazard mess from earlier. You still haven't gotten around to cleaning any of it up and now you would never get the chance. You wondered if you would ever see Naan again or if Usopp would have to tell her what happened. If Naan would call you a stupid, foolish girl as she would when you got caught trying to sneak out your bedroom window at curfew and leave it at that. Or maybe the news would cause her to finally break. 

It hit you all at once that you would probably never see Usopp again. Luffy. Sanji…Zoro. 

The thought alone made the tears you’d been holding back begin to fall against your desk. All the scattered bottles and notes seem to describe exactly how your life had turned out: an absolute mess. 

You wiped your cheeks and grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper and quickly began to scribble a note. You weren’t sure why, but you had a feeling that on the off chance, Zoro did wake up he might take your absence as a relief or might not care at all. It was your duty, literally the last thing you could do, to make sure he remembered that you gave him hell. 

You tossed the pen down on the table and started folding it over and over until it came back to the tiniest square. Small enough to fit in his palm. Letting out a heavy sigh you walked back to the door of your cabin and turned around one last time to look at it. 

Arlong and his fishmen were waiting just outside the Merry. You didn’t have time to try to set everything to memory. Arlong seemed like the type of asshole to punish people for the smallest of inconveniences - like making him wait a minute longer than you should’ve for you to show up. 

But you couldn’t just leave. 

Not without saying goodbye. 

Quickly, you made your way out of your room and down the hall towards Nami’s. It still hurt walking past the threshold to find Zoro’s lifeless body still where you’d left him. It’d been a day, but already it felt like a lifetime. Taking in a deep breath, you made your way over to the bed. 

You prayed that his eyes would magically open. That he would focus on you and smile like he was happy to see you. He would wake up and do what he usually does, hit things and somehow together with Luffy - and now Sanji - save the day. Realistically, you knew that couldn’t happen. You couldn’t allow it to happen. 

If Zoro magically woke up he would be in pain and his body still fighting to mend itself. The wound on his chest ran the danger of splitting back open if he so much as lifted that sword. No. This time Zoro couldn’t be your hero, but maybe you could be his. 

One day. 

The chair was still placed close to the bed and it tempted you to take a seat. To sit down and tell him everything one last time before…before…

Fresh tears caught in your lashes and blurred your vision forcing you to wipe at them furiously. The frustration was evident as you did it harder than was necessary, causing black spots to appear in your vision. 

“You missed one of your favorite things to do today.” Your voice betrayed you; tinged with the colors of every emotion that raged inside you. “The ending might’ve gone differently if you’d been there or maybe this is how it was supposed to end all along.” 

With the small square of paper written with all the things left unsaid between the two of you in your hand, you reached out and tucked it inside his palm. You allowed yourself to hold his hand just a little longer. A strong debate began to war inside you if you should reach out and run your fingers through his hair. If you should be doing anything at all. 

“I’m still mad at you, Zoro. You broke something inside me, and now you’ll never get the chance to fix it. I’ll be like this forever.” 

Every word came out gradually softer than the other until it was almost a whisper. Your hand reached out to allow the side of your finger to gently trace the sharp line of his jaw and, for a brief moment, you thought you felt the flutter of him squeezing your hands. It felt so real your eyes shifted down to your intertwined hands just to make sure. It didn’t surprise you to find you were the only one holding back. 

With your eyes shut tight, you took in a sharp breath and reminded yourself you couldn’t break down just yet. You still had to walk one last time in front of Luffy and your crew mates. The long walk to go up the ramp and stand on the deck of Arlong’s warship. A warship that carried someone you considered a friend who had some explaining to do. 

Opening your eyes you found Zoro looking blissfully peaceful, oblivious to everything that was currently happening. What you would give to experience just a bit of that for a second? 

“Even if I am forever broken…I don’t regret you.” 

And you meant it. Maybe Naan was right that caring for others made you weak, but you would gladly be weak again for Zoro if that meant sitting around a table drinking and allowing Nami to cheat at poker. And you knew she had to be cheating. No one won every game like that unless they were sneaking cards. 

Just like that, your time was up. You needed to go. 

You didn’t want Arlong or his goons to taint the Merry by walking on her deck and bleaching her wood with their hatred as they searched for you. You most certainly did not want him in here, or anywhere, with Zoro. 

With that thought in mind, you dipped down just enough that your lips were close to his ear. Your mind debated one last time if you should do this before you whispered, “When you wake up come and save me, Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. I’ll be waiting.” 

In a flash, you gently kissed his cheek and released his hand. Your feet spun around to the door quickly enough your vision tilted but you didn’t have time to adjust. You dashed out of the room and back onto the deck without ever looking back to notice the hand you’d been holding twitched. 

————

Your heart hammered in your chest as you crested over the side of the Merry. Arlong no longer held Luffy’s wet body prisoner underneath his foot. He’d let Sanji and Usopp bring him over to the safety of where the waitstaff had come out. 

You felt your stomach drop as you watched Zeff push his way to stand in front of his waitstaff. His eyes were wet with tears that you chalked up to the force of the wind. He looked ready to plead with you or to call you an absolute idiot. You could practically hear his gruff, “Don’t throw your life away like this,” sitting heavy in the air. You hoped he’d understand that you had no choice.

“My patience is wearing thin, girl.” 

As terrifying as Arlong was, you suddenly felt your skin flush with anger. Naan and Zeff called you girl based on affection; their voices tinged with the authority of a teacher. Arlong used it like an insult; a dog to be brought to heel. 

You could feel the acidic taste of that anger on the tip of your tongue. It threatened to make you do something stupid - something you knew he’d make you regret slowly and over time. You couldn’t trust yourself not to say anything so you kept your mouth shut and made quick work of making your way down the ramp. You’d barely stepped back onto the dock when the larger fishman came forward and grabbed your arm and almost lifted you clean off the deck. 

“Get your hands off her!”

You knew that voice. It belonged to a certain blonde-haired chef who sounded ready to take on Poseidon. 

“Don’t, little eggplant.”

“We can’t just-“

“I know, son.” 

It wasn’t until tiny pigtail Ninja swung you around that you were able to see them. Luffy was holding onto Usopp who was looking at you more lost than you’d ever seen him. The puppy dog look was usually reserved to try and get him out of trouble and never once was directed at you. 

Not until now. 

“Get going. We’ve done enough of this dog and pony show.” 

Tiny Pigtails released your arm and shoved you forward. He wasn’t giving you a chance to say last goodbyes or look back any longer. Weakly, you heard Luffy call your name in a plea to what? Turn around? Or maybe he wanted an explanation that they wouldn’t let you give. Either way, you were walking towards the beginning of the choice you’d made. 

He shoved you one more time and you were close to snapping when Nami appeared like a ghost. The grip she held on your arm was much lighter than that of Tiny Pigtails. As if the following was a suggestion and not a requirement. 

“Sister Nami will take you to the ship. You sail from there.” 

He didn’t move right away. He seemed to think you might make a run for it. To be honest, you felt a little offended. Did you really want to go with them? Hell no. Were you going to go back on your word and let Arlong hurt your crew mates? Also a big hell no. So, you had no other option than to walk back with Nami towing you to the ship. 

“I got it from here, Kuroobi.”

So, that was his name. You were still going to call him Tiny Pigtails just out of spite. 

Nami began to pull you towards the ship and you couldn’t help but pull your arm loose from her grip. The movement forced you both to stop and face one another. She looked panicked. Her eyes brimming with a mixture of emotions that left her in danger of bursting. 

“What are you doing?” She seethed. “Get to the ship.”

“I can walk there without a damn babysitter.”

Your words held as much bite as her own. If she wanted to play hard-ass pirate you could easily do the same. Although, a part of you wasn’t sure if she was playing or if her entire speech on hating piracy was real. This entire situation felt like a fever dream and was edging into a nightmare. 

The two of you walked up towards the ship in silence. Your teeth practically gnawing a hole into your cheek to keep you from bursting at the seams. 

You continued to follow her onto the deck of the ship. Your feet were never far from hers as she seemed to make a beeline towards a door that could’ve led to nowhere and everywhere all at once. It could’ve been a dungeon for all you cared, you just wanted to get her alone and-

The minute Nami’s body moved through the door frame you pounced. Your hands reached out to grab her by her shoulders and spin her around to face you. Unfortunately for you, Nami had training and she took your nonverbal desire for answers as danger. One minute, you were standing in the open and the next your back was against the wall with her forearm pressed extra snug against your chest. 

“Nami, I’m just trying to get you to talk to me.”

“There is nothing to talk about.”

Each word was squeezed between her teeth. Her eyes went wild as they searched your face and you weren’t sure what she was looking for, but if she simply asked you’d tell her. 

“Ugh, I think there is a lot to discuss. Besides the revelation of you working with Arlong, which I’m still up in the air about.” God, you were rambling but you couldn’t stop. “I’m also working on my own hypothesis that there is something else you’re not sharing-“

“Are you panic talking right now?”

“Maybe.”

“It’s noticeable.”

“I thought so,” you huffed. “But that isn’t going to deter me from the fact I did in fact have a working theory you’re still hiding something. It’s okay to tell me.”

Nami rolled her eyes as she released you and resumed her retreat somewhere back in the cabin. It was most likely a room she had on the vessel. 

“You and Luffy just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Is that a rhetorical question or-“

Nami whirled on you again and this time your hands went up in a show of surrender. 

“What do you want, Doc?”

“I want you to remember I’m your friend. I give a shit about you, even if you’re making horrendous decisions.” You took a cautious step towards her, hands still up in case she felt the need to shove you against any more walls. “I think you want to be here even less than I do.”

A whirlwind of emotions flashed behind her eyes in a hurricane of thought you couldn’t follow. You could see her going through every possible outcome in how to answer yours or maybe she was still trying to hide whatever it was she didn’t want you to know. 

“I am not your friend.” Nami tried to keep the anger that bristled through her earlier in her tone, but you could hear it breaking like glass. “I don’t need any of you.”

Your eyes scanned her face looking to see if there was something real there. Something more than she wished you would see but Nami hardened herself until the only thing you could see was indifference. 

“If you can’t believe what you’re saying Nami, how do you expect me to?”

“Just because I’m not who you want me to be doesn’t make what’s happening any less true. I’m going to my room. Don’t follow me.”

She knew you well. You did want to follow her because no matter how much she went on the defensive, you knew what you knew. Luffy had given Nami the map for either protection purposes or because she was the navigator or both. Either way, she’d had it since the first time they’d arrived at Syrup Village. Nami had plenty of opportunities to run with the map without ever saying anything. 

It was then you realized that’s exactly what she tried to do earlier yesterday in the morning. You’d caught her trying to leave but she’d returned because deep down, she knew who her real crew mates were and it sure as shit wasn’t Arlong. No, she’d been running from a truth this whole time and when she had the chance to steal away into the night she couldn’t. 

Honestly, leaving during Zoro’s duel to the death was the perfect escape plan. None of you would’ve noticed if Nami was gone until she had miles of ocean between herself and the Baratie. Yet, she couldn’t leave while Zoro fought Mihawk. She came back to be there for her friend she’d declared an idiot - a friend she came back to support even if she didn’t agree with his choices. Even when Arlong arrived at the Baratie all she wanted was to run and for all of you to run with her. 

No, the only person Nami was trying to fool here was herself and you were dying to know why. 

——————-

Come and save me, Pirate Hunter…..Roronoa Zoro….

The wind was talking to him again. 

At first, Zoro pushed it aside as a soft rustling of leaves and the bowing of branches swayed to a force he couldn’t see. It was a force he followed as he brought down his sword in practice. Every muscle was taut and ready to move into action at the flick of his wrist. His body was caught in a deadly game of balance of waiting and striking; for a chance to strike deadly and true. 

It was easy to ignore until he heard it again. The way the voice buried itself under the leaves at his feet and slithered its way to him. It started off like a whisper; a singular voice growing in volume until it reached him sounding like the voices of many. 

        ...pirate….hunter….

                                   Roronoa….

For a split second, panic overtook him. His practice stance turned defensive as both swords crossed to ward off any oncoming blow. His eyes scanned the clearing for a sign of energy - a reason to explain why his heart beat like a caged animal. His eyes were fixated in finding the sound until a hand on his shoulder brought him back to himself. 

He turned fast, swords ready to pierce, only to come face-to-face with Kuina. 

“What has you so jumpy?”

Her presence should have made Zoro feel more at ease. Maybe Kuina too would hear the strangeness that took over the grove, but for now she was waiting for an answer. 

“It’s nothing.”

“Well, it can’t be too much of nothing if it’s got you sweating like this.”

“I’m not sweating over the wind,” he bit out.

The smirk on Kuina’s face made him want to tell her to draw his sword. To send her thoughts of him being worried about wind or anything else in a resonating clash of swords. Zoro knew he would get his chance since it was time for them to train together anyway. 

“You finally surpassed me.” 

Her words startled him out of his stance. His swords hanging lifeless at his side, no longer caring about if he gave off anything other than strength. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember when I told you that eventually, all the boys will grow taller and stronger. You included Zoro.”

“Stop playing games, Kuina.”

No. Zoro remembered this conversation. The day she should’ve ended him for his weakness in their first battle of steel. She’d still been trying to train him even as he fought to end her life. The way she spoke about correcting his form - dropping his fucking elbow - and the sloppy way he rushed in out of anger. 

The same way he rushed in with Mihawk. 

He’d been consumed with his desire to become the world’s greatest swordsman. To take Mihawk’s title and prove for once that he was worthy of carrying her sword - her memory. 

No. What was he even thinking? He shook his head in anger to ground him back to this moment. To Kuina. 

“There’s no game to play here, Zoro. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Did you come to practice or spin your stupid tales of wisdom early?”

“Gods, you are still stubborn,” she hushed. 

Zoro could feel his words loaded on the back of his tongue and ready to release at any second. His annoyance felt potent at her constant word games and at her bringing up a conversation he’d informed her was idiotic. She was so powerful. Why couldn’t she see that?

“You don’t belong here, Zoro.”

Fuck. He was getting more confused each time she spoke. Zoro needed to sheath his swords, but he couldn’t shake the unease that he should keep them out. 

“Kuina, stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what you mean!”

“You’re floating somewhere between life and death, and now isn’t the time for you to die. You need to get back and grow stronger. Stronger than me. Stronger than you are now.” 

In an instant, the flash of the last few hours emerged at warp speed through his mind. Eating with Luffy and everyone at Baratie. Drinking. Mihawk. You. As if the thought of you was enough to conjure you, Zoro’s skin came alive with goosebumps like he’d sensed a ghost. 

Immediately, his eyes scanned through the forest hungrily searching for any sign of your presence and came up short. The illusion that’d been created was fading. 

He was no longer his younger self waiting for Kuina like he’d done countless times before. His skin itched to begin his training and to feel the vibrations of the metal ricochet in his palms. It was made painfully obvious that Zoro stood inches above her, and yet Kuina didn’t seem phased. 

She knew this would happen. 

“You can’t die here, Zoro. You have a promise to keep. remember?”

Of course, he remembered. He always remembered. Even before they made their vow, Zoro wanted nothing more - dreamed of nothing more - than to be the greatest in all of the East Blue. Of people coming from every corner of the world to try and best him in battle only to fall short. It’s all he ever wanted. Until Luffy offered him a home. Until you pushed him back inside his room with tinted cheeks that grew on him with each passing second. 

Zoro wanted to see you blush like that for the rest of his life. 

This time when the wind rippled through the trees and the sound of those words shook their leaves he knew what it was this time. Your voice. Your voice speaking to him somewhere far away. 

His eyes broke away from Kuina and looked through every entrance of the forest again. This time his body practically radiated with the knowledge you were close. All he had to do was find you. 

He turned fast on his feet and still nothing. It was maddening searching and searching and coming up short. Zoro could feel the rage building with the scream that clawed at his throat to be released. All the acidic fury willing to shake down the grove until, with one last turn, the fog seemed to release you from the curtain it’d placed on you. 

One minute the only thing in the entrance to the grove was fog. In the next breath, it dissipated, and standing there was you in the dress you’d worn at Kaya’s birthday dinner. The same dress he remembered seeing you walk down the stairs in and realizing that he was fucked. 

Zoro sheathed his swords as he called out your name. Your real name and waited for you to turn. To give him some form of acknowledgment that you’d heard him, but you were still glancing around as if you appeared lost. It wasn’t until Zoro took a step forward that the scene flew past him and changed like the reel of a film caught on fast forward. 

He thought he was going to be sick until it stopped and he was standing in front of mixed drinks. The same mixed drinks with delicate slices of orange peels floating inside champagne that were at Kaya’s manor. Zoro was still holding one in his hands when he heard the sound of someone descending the stairs. He didn’t need to look up to know it was you; he could recall this moment from the depths of his memory with ease. 

His eyes traveled up to watch you, nonetheless, until you stepped off the last step. You weren’t looking at him and he vaguely remembered being thankful for small blessings. 

I don’t want to know what life is like without you. 

Again, he could hear your words fresh, as if you’d just spoken them. Your eyes were full of pleading and he could hear the hope but also the sheer pain it took to tell him how you felt. All he wanted to do was tell you his own truth. He may have crawled inside your bones, but he’d equally found a home inside you. One that would surely drown him like the sea. 

As Zoro watched you move around the room he wanted to rush towards you and take your hand. He wanted to give you his own answer in reply - his real one - before his own uncertainty clamored back to take control. He upended the glass in one large swallow and set it back on the tray. His hand itched for him to grab another but he ignored it. 

Zoro still needed to grab his swords before he moved but-

If he wasn’t already on edge he would’ve been aware that you were walking towards him. Zoro wish he would’ve been more aware that you stopped, so when he turned, sword belt in hand, he wouldn’t have jumped out of his skin like he did. A ripple of irritation lit under his skin that you’d gotten him with something so small. 

“You enjoy sneaking up on people?”

“No. Just you.” 

Your smile was devious and practically sinful the way it curled your lips. It was a smile Zoro saw you give him only a few times, but each time it lit a fire in his blood that made you impossible to ignore. 

It all compounded when you placed a hand on his chest and took a step closer. Zoro remembered the way your hair looked - remembered even more the way the delicate straps of your dress hung low on your shoulders. How exposed you seemed to him at this angle. 

He’d never wanted to kiss someone more. 

Zoro was jolted out of his thoughts by a slap to his chest. His own hand seeking out to find what did it only to have you pulling your hand back to you. The other held a bottle as you motioned for him to follow. 

This wasn’t how this night went…

Maybe it wasn’t but Zoro was past caring. Not when you summoned him to follow you, and he recklessly did so, not caring about the possibility of being burned by his own desires. 

With his swords over his shoulder, he fell into step behind you as you weaved your way around doorways until you came back out to the garden. Zoro was about to ask where you were leading him - if he should be worried if dream you held any animosity for what he’d said - when you came to a halt at the foot of a statue carved out of marble. 

There was no doubt after the chain of events from that evening changed, that Zoro knew this was a dream. Dream or not, he liked this change. 

You found the spot you wanted between the hedges of roses and grass. The ugly ass marble statue a few feet in front of the both of you as he came to sit with you. The both of you waited until the other was settled before you popped open the bottle and took a long pull and set it down between your bodies.

Zoro didn’t hesitate to grab the bottle to take his own drink. Or a few. If he was going to talk about feelings, he was really going to need this drink. 

“So,” he croaked out before he took a drink. “This is a dream, isn’t it.” 

“Yup,” you replied, popping the p. 

“I have a hard time believing that. I don’t dream.” 

Zoro was in the middle of taking another drink from the bottle when your next words almost caused him to choke. 

“You do when you’re dying.” He glanced over at you then. The way you leaned back into your hands with your head tipped up at the sky watching the stars. It was almost believable you didn’t just tell him he was dying. “They say we usually see our lives flash before our eyes or see our regrets.” You looked him dead in the eye and asked, “What is it you’re regretting about me?”

“I don’t regret anything.” 

The words blurted out of him before he could stop them. He was still trying to process what you said. His own brain wondered if he was already dead or-

“You’re not dead yet,” you huffed. “And obviously you regret something with me or else I wouldn’t be here.”

You reached over and snatched the champagne from his hands and he watched as you brought the bottle to your lips and drank. 

“For being a dream, you sure do sound like the real thing.”

“And what does the real thing sound like?”

“A pain in my ass.”

God, even your laugh sounded perfect in his head. The way your head dipped ever so slightly back; how the throaty sound filled the space causing him to smile into his next drink. What he would give to listen to you laugh like that again.

After the lip of the bottle fell away from his mouth, he set it back between the two of you and looked out over the garden. Zoro really hated that statute. 

“So, I’m dying?”

The words formed in his mouth but felt wrong as he spoke them. Unable to believe that such a thing was even possible until flashes of his fight with Mihawk came back like a bitter aftertaste. The way he left things between the both of you before he walked out that door. 

I want to take it all back…

“Yes. Only if you want to be.”

Zoro’s eyes narrowed in on your position and felt a scowl begin to crease his brow. 

“Who would want to be dying?”

“Obviously, no one, but you have a choice. You’re teetering between life and death, and only you know how to get out of it.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to tell me?”

A light shrug raised your shoulders while your gaze stayed upwards towards the stars. 

“This is something you need to figure out on your own, Roronoa Zoro.”

               Come and save me

His heart slammed against his ribs as the air caught in his lungs. It was you he’d been hearing all along in his head, but the you in front of him wasn’t speaking. No. You looked every bit as ethereal as you did that night lying out in the garden with the moon cascading down around you. 

This was a perfect impression of you, but it wasn’t you. Not the you Zoro found himself drawn to no matter how much he tried to fight it. Somewhere out in the real world, outside of his head, you were calling to him. A noticeable desperation in your words as you called to him to come and find you. 

Something was wrong. Something was happening while he was here and-

“Zoro?” 

The sound of your voice beside him forced him out of his thoughts. The worry was still there wiggling like a worm in his mind, but when he turned his head, Zoro expected to find you different. Maybe in that not-so-awful outfit that he wanted to hate Nami for putting you in. Instead, you were still in that dress with your hair filled with pearls, and your eyes looking up at him as you now rested back on your elbows. 

You were breathtaking. 

“Why am I in this?”

“What?”

It seemed such a strange question to ask and his response wasn’t much better. Zoro was still trying to think past the adrenaline thrumming through his muscles causing him to find the hilt of a sword for comfort. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had missed something, and trying to think past it was maddening. 

“Out of every memory you have of me, why did you pick this one?”

It was true, wasn’t it? This was his head. He got to choose where you were and what you were doing and out of it all…

“It’s the first time I felt something when I looked at you.” 

The answer was so simple and looking at you now he knew it was true. 

“And now?”

The truth? This was a dream - a part of his head. So, why was it so hard to say? He reached out for the bottle and immediately took a long drink from it. Once he finished, he kept a hold of it in his hand. The coolness of the bottle gave him comfort as his eyes looked back over at you. 

“Now? Now I feel it all the time.”

It was easier to tell dream you this. If he needed to say this out loud to real you, Zoro wasn’t sure if he would make it. Somewhere along the way you’d become a part of his dream and intertwined the two together. While he wanted to be the world’s greatest swordsman, he also wanted you. There couldn’t be one without the other. 

Without giving it much thought, Zoro slowly reached his hand out to cup your face in his hand. It was something he’d wanted to do for days, but the fear of being rejected - of what it would mean to the promise he made -  kept him immobile. But this was a dream - his dream - and there couldn’t be any danger to giving in just this once. 

You pressed your cheek against his palm and he felt his other hand that was still painfully wrapped around the bottle tighten. All the self-control he struggled to keep ebbed away at the feeling of your lips pressing against his wrist. He could feel his pulse thundering on his own, and he wondered if you could feel it too, rushing against your lips.

In a split second Zoro made his mind up. He was going to kiss you; consciences be damned. He would deal with his promises and dreams afterward, but he needed this. He couldn’t go a second longer not knowing what you tasted like and if you wanted this as much as he did. If you felt as complete when he was with you. 

Just as he leaned in, you stopped him with a hand on his chest. Confusion clouded his face as he struggled to find a reason for you to do this when you said, “Come and save me, Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. I’ll be waiting.” 

One minute Zoro was with you lying in the grass of Kaya’s garden and the next his eyes were fluttering open inside Nami’s room. His body gave a painful jolt that left him grimacing with his nostrils flaring as he tried to breathe past the pain. His eyes weren’t ready to adjust to the sun just yet so he closed them. He preferred this better because it gave him time to think. 

Zoro noticed when he’d looked briefly around the room that you weren’t in it. No one was. So…how the hell was he hearing your voice? Words you’d spoken to him on repeat like the start of a bad adventure. He could vaguely recall other voices. One that sounded a lot like Nami, but not the Nami he knew. This Nami sounded broken and unsteady on her feet and less like the quick-witted and strong one he’d grown to know. 

You said it yourself. You don’t have any friends.

That was the last thing he’d told her. The last thing he’d told either of them hadn’t been that great. Zoro spoke out of anger and his own form of hurt. He wasn’t sure if either of you just didn’t believe he could do it, or if you were both just scared, but it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. 

Nami and you were never one to say what you thought others wanted to hear. You would both be honest even if it hurt.

He was still trying to figure it out, to think past the growing pain in his chest, when the sound of light footsteps entered the room. The footsteps slowly came closer until he felt someone hop on the bed. Zoro didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Luffy, except that the usual chaotic energy that he carried seemed dimmed. Zoro wanted to ask him what was wrong, but another sharp pain in his chest suggested he sit that idea to the side for a few minutes longer. 

“Hey, Zoro. You sure missed a big fight. Those fishmen guys were tough. You would’ve loved it.” 

The idea he missed a fight imploded something molten and sinister inside his chest. Zoro did love a good fight. There was no denying the ache that tinged his muscles and rang through his hands to grip the hilt of a sword and slash mercilessly through the air. 

But Zoro noticed something else besides his own bloodlust for battle. Luffy’s energy was missing but so was the usual happiness in his tone. 

“And we had a pretty great dinner. All of us sitting around together, listening to Usopp’s stories. Only I kinda messed it up.”

There it was. The pitch dip that indicated to Zoro something major happened while he’d been out for - how long? How long had they been sitting here still at Baratie while he healed? 

“And now I lost Nami and Doc. I lost the Grand Line map. And maybe I will lose you too. I didn’t know what to say before but I know what to say now, and it’s so simple.” Luffy took in a deep breath and as he exhaled he spoke, “I need you, Zoro. I need you to wake up.” 

Well, now seemed as good a time as any to make his presence known. 

“You gonna keep talking, or let me get some sleep?”

His voice felt rough like sandpaper. His words dry and hoarse, but hey, at least he was speaking. Within seconds the bed moved in that frantic way Zoro knew he was in trouble, as Luffy jumped to straddle him. 

“Zoro? Zorooooooooo!”

Zoro couldn’t help it. He flinched. Luffy was screaming at warp speed into his face and he worried his eardrums were going to burst. 

“Zoro, you’re not dead!”

Without a second thought, Luffy dropped all his weight down onto his chest and immediately all the affection he had for his captain flew out the window. The pain was excruciating and I’d he had the strength he would’ve flipped Luffy off him. 

Where the hell was Doc when he needed you? 

“Right now…I’m wishing…I was.” 

The minute Luffy lifted himself up from his chest, Zoro took in a greedy breath and tried to ignore the searing pain. He really hoped you were around to give him something for the aforementioned pain. 

While he lay there, words that sounded like Nami fluttered in and out of his mind. It replayed it over and over until it converged with yours. Maybe he’d dreamed of both of you talking to him. Maybe none of it was real, but he wasn’t going to share the dream with you in it. That felt too…personal. Nami felt safer. 

“I had the strangest dream that Nami left.” 

“She did.” 

Zoro was in the middle of trying to fix his head on the pillow when the words hit him. A spark of dread blossomed in his chest. If Nami’s was real then…

Slowly, Zoro opened his eyes to the room and prayed they didn’t show the rising tide of panic. 

“It’s my fault.” 

Luffy sounded defeated. Ready to give up, and Zoro couldn’t have that, especially when Luffy believed in him when he needed it the most. Gently he shook his head in protest and said, “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. You acted like a captain.”

“But our crew is falling apart.” 

In a moment of clarity, Zoro knew what Luffy needed. He needed to know someone believed in him, just like he’d believed in Zoro when he needed it most. 

“No, it’s not. I, Roronoa Zoro, vow to stand by your side from now until the end. Until we find the One Piece or die trying. So bring on the Marines or pirates or sea beasts. You’re my captain, Luffy, and I’m your first mate.” 

Zoro placed a fist over Luffy’s chest and wasn’t surprised that Luffy covered it with a hand of his own. A smile of gratitude brought to life his usual mirth that made him sunshine in human form. It wasn’t enough to completely brighten him, but it would do for now. 

He could hear approaching footsteps coming at lightning speed and, for a brief moment, he thought it would be you. God, he had so much he needed to tell you. He tried not to let the soft tilt of his lips disappear when Usopp came shouting his name through the doorway. His body collided with the bed making it move just enough to remind Zoro he wasn’t at a hundred percent, yet. 

“Zoro! I wasn’t worried for a second.” 

Usopp tried to reign in his happiness to look calm, but Zoro was glad to see it. 

“He’s alive!”

He hadn’t calculated for Luffy to jolt his arm up like they’d just won some kind of battle. But fucking hell if it didn’t make Zoro’s stomach immediately roll with nausea as the pain became electric. 

Zoro couldn’t keep a groan from leaving him and instantly Luffy dropped his arm back down. He was situating himself again when he felt something inside his right palm. Zoro’s curiosity peaked, but he would wait to see it.

“And I told’em. I said, ‘You better not mess with the Straw Hats!’”

“Yeah!”

“Ba! Ba!”

A genuine smile curved his lips as Zoro watched Usopp pretend to fight off the fishmen. His arms flew at odd angles to hint at Karate before he slid back over to the bed. The sound of him cooling down and turning off is what made Zoro chuckle the most. 

“I sent them swimming for their lives.”

“You scared’em off, huh?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“The Great Captain Usopp.” He waited to settle back into the pillow, his fingers now playing with the piece of paper that’d been placed in his palm. “Where’s Doc?”

At the mention of you, the whole room seemed to stop. Only the playfulness that had been built completely erased and was replaced by a heaviness that made it hard to swallow. 

“Zoro, Doc she…”

“She what?”

He didn’t know why the words came out as harsh as they did. They felt like an extension of his swords. Sharp and violent. 

“Arlong, the leader of the Arlong Pirates, was going to drown Luffy. Doc…she - she gave herself up to save Luffy.”

Come and save me, Pirate Hunter…

No. The word thundered through his skull. His fist clenched until he could feel the corners of the paper pressing painfully into the skin of his palm. He couldn’t believe it. 

You were gone. And what he’d heard in his dream wasn’t made up. That was the last thing you’d said to him before you’d bounded off in servitude to some other crew. 

“What do you mean, ‘gave herself up’?”

“She joined their crew, Zoro. She’s gone.” 

No. He wanted to shout it. To break the room apart and send the Merry into the depths of the sea. His rage was choking - toxic - and he had no way to articulate it further. He wanted to shout at them; to ask why they didn't try and stop you, but he already knew. There wasn’t any stopping you when you thought you were doing the right thing. 

He’d called you a liability once and he’d meant it. Because now the only liability you’d become is his own. 

“So,” Usopp’s voice cut across the tension. “What do we do now? Plot a course for the Grand Line?”

“Nope.” 

“But I thought we were going after the One Piece?”

“We are. But we can’t do it without our whole crew. First, we have to go get Doc and Nami.” 

Zoro needed to get out of this room so he could think. First, he needed a shower. Second, he needed some sun. 

———————

Conomi Islands.

It wasn’t what you expected.

While you’d come from the Gecko Islands where businesses ruled with their abundance of shipyards and armories. So far from what you’d seen as you walked the path to Arlong Park was a sea of tangerine groves. All the villages were modest in stature. 

This was farming land. Land meant to be owned by the men and women who worked to keep her trees growing and soil healthy. And she repaid their devotion in kind with wave upon wave of orange. 

You imagined before Arlong there’d been life to the villages you passed. The clothes people wore weren’t torn with excessive wear and color bleed dry from the fabric. You imagined the children actually ran and played instead of hiding behind the safety of objects or people; little eyes watching you every move. 

It broke your heart to see their looks of hatred and sadness. The desperation clawed at their features until it showcased the worry that you were just another bad guy who came to strip them of whatever life they had left.  

You noticed immediately that some of them were malnourished. The painful way the bones of one woman’s shoulder stuck out against the straps of her dress. The way you could easily count the bones in her sternum as she took a breath. An elderly man using a stick to move around a bandaged leg and you could bet it wasn’t properly being treated. 

You didn’t realize your body was moving towards him; helping others was as much a reflex as breathing. What stopped you was the tight grasp of Nami’s hand on your wrist pulling you back to fall in line. You whipped around to look at her and found only the stone-faced expression you’d come to expect. 

Nami dropped your wrist just as quickly as she’d grabbed it, and went back to facing forward. You tried to find a flare of anger to hold on to for her stopping you from helping, but realistically you knew she did it to protect you. 

If you’d moved out of line, moved to help that man or anyone else you saw, there was no doubt Arlong would make them suffer worse while you watched. He seemed like that kind of asshole. 

Once you made your way off the path through the groves, a large sukiya-style building loomed in the distance. It looked massive from what you could see, but as it grew closer it seemed to stretch farther and farther into the sky. It wasn’t until you were less than ten feet from it that you realized it was a compound. The outside walls were layers and layers of sand bricks and it wasn’t until Arlong shouted outside the large metal doors, that you began to be able to see inside. 

While the villages surrounding him crumbled into nothing, Arlong Park was literally an oasis. The inside was a paradise with a large pool with a rock slid off the side and a matching waterfall. Carnival games littered the sides with a bar sandwiched in between a ring toss game and a bag toss. 

Everything was lush and over-the-top and above all else, Arlong had a throne right in the middle of everything. There was no mistaking who was the ruler in this land and if you did, he would be sure to correct you. 

An ache began to grow and grow until it felt like a knife digging into your gut. Luffy would never willingly watch others suffer. He would never take until the land was stripped bare to the point even the soil was overworked with nothing left to give. 

You wanted to go home. You wanted-

A strong hand on your shoulder kept you from following Nami and it took every ounce of self-control you had left not to claw your way towards her. It was nice to see the flash of panic that sparked in her eyes before she smothered it down. 

No matter how much of a hard-ass Nami tried to be, you knew she cared. 

“Kuroobi, what are you doing?”

“Arlong wants her to go to the map room. She needs to get branded.”

“Branded?”

Your eyes flashed over to Nami’s bare arms, to the sword shark tattoo, and immediately tried to get out of Kuroobi’s grip. It didn’t matter if it was a futile attempt. 

“No way in hell am I letting you touch me with a needle!”

“Doc-“

Nami moved forward trying to - do what? You both knew she couldn’t stop them. Not when she wanted to continue to play the indifference card. 

“Don’t bother, Nami,” Kuroobi interjected. “You know this needs to be done.” 

“Well, I would like some backstory as to why this is needed. Don’t I get a say?”

“No. You don’t.” 

“Kuroobi-“

“Enough, Nami. I thought you said you didn’t care about these Straw Hats?”

For once, you didn’t care if she spit on your name. Kuroobi looked at her with suspicion clouding his eyes. She needed to be careful because if she ever gave away that she did see you as more than just another person, you were sure you would pay with your life. 

“I don’t. Just don’t get blood on my floor.” 

“What-“

With those parting words of Nami's, Kuroobi started walking towards the direction of the building. His entire hand wrapped around your arm as he dragged you practically behind him. You couldn’t keep the panic from boiling over as Nami’s words raced through your mind. What the hell did she mean by blood? You attempted to dig your feet into the ground, pry him off your arm, only to have him pull you so hard you thought he’d dislocated your arm. 

“Fight all you want, human. It’s not going to change the outcome.”

You gritted your teeth as you tried to keep from going over the lip that led to the walkway. You could see at the end of the walkway was another set of metal double doors, and once you were inside you knew there was no getting out. 

But you’d chosen this, hadn’t you? 

There were some things you expected when you signed up to work for Arlong. A shitty tattoo given like a marking of property wasn’t one of them. That’s what you knew it was. 

A joke. Something to mark ownership that you weren’t you anymore. You were a product to be used and discarded on a whim. You no longer belonged to yourself but to whoever marked their way into your skin. If you were going to let anyone mark you in any way, it was going to be a certain green-haired idiot recovering in Nami’s bedroom. Not anyone else and most definitely not a fishman indicating you as property. 

Just as Kuroobi went to open the door and push you inside, you kicked out landing your foot on the doorframe to knock you back. It startled him to where his grip loosened on your arm. It was enough to make you believe you could slip your arm out of his hand and make a run for it back to Nami. 

The fishman was faster than you gave him credit, however, and you ended up paying for that miscalculation. He pulled you back roughly by your arm, enough to dislodge your feet, before using your body to slam through the door. Kuroobi released your arm and your body went sailing through the air until it collided painfully with the stone floor.

To say the air was knocked out of your lungs would be an understatement. It was trapped there. Held captive in your lungs where they refused to move. All you could feel was the searing pain as the oxygen dissipated. Your arms and shoulders stung with unseen scraps from the force Kuroobi flung you into the room. The only reason you’d stopped rolling was by your back meeting a very unfortunately strong brick wall. 

You were struggling to right yourself on your hands and knees when he was just there. Large hands grabbed at your shoulders to hoist you to your feet. This time you didn’t have much fight in you to try and disobey his pushes as he directed you towards a set of spiral stairs. Kuroobi didn’t tell you to start climbing as much as he shoved you. 

If you were able to breathe, you were sure you would’ve said something petty, but damn if you weren’t shaken. You went up at least five flights of stairs until he stopped you and directed you to a set of metal doors that resembled the ones from outside. A latch to keep whoever locked in was already opened to allow him to shove you inside. 

There was light in this circular room, but just barely. It was enough to adjust the dimly lit room and you realized the only spot that held the natural light was in the center. A large table that was filled with drawing paper, and mapping paper, lay at the center. It was the only furniture in the room besides the small weaved baskets that held rolled-up parchments and papers. 

If you opened every single piece of paper in the dozens of baskets, would they all be maps?

The way everything was centered around that tilted desk, with the only light dedicated to that spot…you only knew one person who could draw maps from memory. Who carried books of atlases and maps like they were poetry. 

This is Nami’s room. 

For some reason, the realization didn’t make you feel better, it only made you feel worse. Part of that feeling came from your eyes landing on a shackle that was attached to a chain on the floor. This wasn’t something a willing member of anyone’s crew wore or needed to wear to make sure they stayed. 

If you weren’t forced down the small steps into the circle of the room, where the desk and its papers resided, you might have felt a little validated. Nami was as much a prisoner here as you were, and if it took you months or years you would find a way to get her out. 

You were kicked out of your thoughts by Kuroobi forcing you down to your knees. A growl sharp and acidic rose up in the back of your throat as you attempted to get back up. His hand kept you easily in place. 

“Let me be the first to formally welcome you into your exclusive membership of the Arlong Pirates.”

At the sound of his deep voice, your head shot up from the floor to find Arlong coming through the open doors. A sickly smile flashing rows of shark’s teeth to the soft glow of the light. Somehow, he looked more threatening here than he did back at Baratie. You would’ve been impressed if it didn’t mean you were the one stuck alone with him. 

“Thanks,” you bit out. “It doesn’t feel like much of a choice.” 

“You’re the one who made the deal, girl. I’m just the only one who accepted the terms.”

He made his way down the steps and circled his way to stand in front of you. All fishmen were born with the DNA of the sea within them. Mother Ocean placed pieces of her own children inside them, which is how each one of them was unique. You’d wished Mother Ocean had placed a scuttle fish inside him instead of a predator. 

“Yeah, an agreement for me to treat any of your sick fishmen and teach you how to make the medicine yourself. Not to be branded like a sea cow.”

This earned you another smile. Another long look in your direction before he finished walking the few inches to stand directly in front of you. 

“And we’ll get to that part of the deal. In due time.” 

“Then there is no deal,” you spit out. 

You were trying to be braver than you felt. You also knew the chance of diminishing your worth was a dangerous game. Arlong didn’t seem the least bit phased. In fact, he seemed very much in control. 

“The deal stands.” Arlong’s words were final. An end to a conversation that barely got started. “See, in this crew, the humans need to wear a symbol of their loyalty on their skin.”

“Can’t it just be a nice fashionable patch on a jacket? I hear patches are coming back in style-”

Kuroobi slammed a fist into your side and it crippled you down on the cool stone of the floor. You were still trying to retain your breath from earlier when Kuroobi had launched you through the doors. It didn’t take much for you to sound like a dying fish gasping for air. 

“You want me to have it placed somewhere fashionable?”

Arlong bent down to look at you, his obsidian eyes bleeding with sinister glee. “I hear tattoos on the back have become all the rage for women.” 

“Damn. Too bad my shirt is in the way. You could always put it on my middle finger.”

You raised it up just in case he needed a visual on where exactly you meant.

“Funny,” he spit. “You’ve got some guts in you. Looks like I’ll need to rip some out to make you tow the line.” 

“Good fucking luck with that.”

It wasn’t smart. You don’t know why you suddenly felt the need to have a death wish. You also knew looking into Arlong’s face - being inside Nami’s prison - you wanted to tear him apart. You didn’t want to go quietly anymore. Whether or not you made this choice willingly, you also willingly could agree Arlong could fuck right off. 

Arlong must have sensed the rebellion growing inside you. He didn’t appear threatened or worried. No, he simply grinned and showed his teeth as his eyes looked over your shoulder to Kuroobi. 

“Place our Jolly Rogers symbol on her shoulder. Make it large and proud.”

“I told you I’m not taking off my shirt.”

“We have other ways of getting to where we need.” 

Arlong nodded his head and within seconds you could feel Kuroobi’s hands on your back. One large, finned hand holding you face down towards the stone floor, while the other gripped your shirt and pulled. 

The sound of tearing cloth erupted in the room and your arms desperately scrambled behind you to try and knock his hand away. But the more you tried to reach for his hand, the more Kuroobi shoved your head closer to the stone. All the emotions you’d felt since you offered to go with Arlong to save Luffy had all been bottled away. You reminded yourself constantly,  over and over, that you chose to make this offer, and with all the anger and panic and fear that churned in the cauldron of your mind, you tried to silence it. 

You never planned on this. 

With one last violent tug from the fishman behind you, your shirt collapsed forward. The back was completely ripped away and left your back bare with the remains of what was left falling forward. Quickly, you moved your arms to cover your chest before it left your breasts exposed to the room. 

The weight of a scream pressed behind your teeth but your lips refused to part. You wouldn’t give Arlong the satisfaction of hearing anything. The only downside to this whole thing was your arms were crossed against your chest leaving your naked back exposed. 

You could vaguely hear Kuroobi moving behind you. His hands grabbed at objects you couldn’t see but that you knew was the placement of ink. The minimum amount of sunlight eclipsed into shadow as he towered at your back. 

This couldn’t be that bad. You tried to think of all the worst things you’d experienced. Splinters. Splinters in any shape or form sucked. Naan’s blood pudding. An experience that you could see being part of Dante’s seven layers of hell. 

….watching Mihawk slice Yuro into the chest of Zoro. 

You thought back to the last thing you told him. Whispering your words into the ear of a man who was tethered on the brink of life and death. A man who, for all you knew, was still in a coma fighting for his own life and you’d asked him to save you. 

As if you couldn’t save yourself. 

The first strike of the needle pierced through your skin. You had a lot of thoughts about what it might feel like, but none of it compared to what it really was. The way your skin fought against the needle's entrance and swarmed it once it violently shoved its way into your skin. With each new thrust, Kuroobi seemed to pierce it harder and harder. It was enough to make your teeth savagely dig into your bottom lip. That scream you’d trapped in your throat was building back up with every forceful shove from Kuroobi. 

Your eyes were trained on the stone floor and following the cracks like a river. You were desperately trying to steady your mind to find yourself somewhere else - somewhere safe - beyond this room. It was interrupted by the appearance of Arlong’s shoes stomping into view. You refused to look up at him and that disobedience was rewarded by his hands fisting in your hair and forcing you up to look at him. 

The saw of his nose cut across your cheek as he growled into your face. The bare teeth turned into a snarling smile as he painfully brought your head further back to expose your neck to the room.

The way animals expose their bellies to alphas. Arlong wasn’t a true alpha and he could expose your throat with force all he wanted, but he didn’t earn your respect and he never would. 

“A disobedient animal will always be brought to heel.”

You wanted to tell him where he could shove his obedience. You could feel the words forming until you saw him nod to Kuroobi behind you. The next stab of the needle went so deep you felt it touch your shoulder bone. The pain was instantaneous and finally ripped the scream loose.

That one stab into your skin sets the tone for the brutal pace of every next jab of the needle into your flesh. Each one harsher than the last and scraping fresh marks against your bone. All the while Arlong continued to hold you by your hair with your tear-streaked face forced to look up into his grinning one. 

“You think I don’t know what games you’re playing, girl? Your kind are the ones who made us sick! You give us diseases that run rampant amongst my people leaving you, our enslavers, the only ones to cure us.” 

Another stab of the needle and it tore the air from your lungs. You didn’t have enough to scream. Only a fresh tear slid down your cheek as you tried to look up into the blinding spot of the sun and were greeted by darkness. 

“I’ll make you pay for infecting my people. I’ll make you pay by bleeding every last bit of knowledge from your squishy human brain and maybe turn a profit from you. Maybe make you heal some blind folks,” he chortled, “or maybe have you keep lonely sailors company. You look pretty enough.” 

Arlong’s hatred of humans left him beyond angry. It left him without thought and reason to be dangerous. You weren’t even born when the enslavement of fishmen began; when their fear of the unknown turned them blindly into trying to own what they feared. You’d barely been born when they’d been freed, but it didn’t mean that some fishmen didn’t stay behind in the yard. Their entire life is made up of other men telling them when and how to work; to live. 

And yet, Arlong placed knowledge you gained from Naan to help and heal into something evil. Something potent with ill intent until the only thing left was meant only to cause harm. 

For the first time in your life, with blood trembling down your shoulder and tears streaking your face, you knew what it meant to hate. You knew what it meant to be consumed by the wildfires of rage and make them pay. You’d made a vow to never willingly harm another soul, but staring up into Arlong’s sinister smile you knew you would gladly make an exception. 

Maybe that was when your soul fractured. The darkness you’d felt on your knees at the dock as you watched Zoro fight Mihawk edged at your vision. The weightlessness of an emptiness that threatened to consume you and leave you cold. You could feel it building and building - sweet whispers and images of you being free from this place as long as you simply gave in. 

Whatever you do child, when you hear that little voice telling you to let go: don’t. You fight it. 

You wondered if this was the voice Naan warned you about. The one she’d brought up as she cleaned up the blood that crusted at your nostrils and added to your busted lip. 

You were six. The older kids cornered you down by the wharf and tried to send you “back where you came from.”  You’d been so scared and even now could remember the way your lungs burned as you sucked in water. Your tiny fingers clawed the sand as they held you under not realizing you were drowning. Or maybe they did. Maybe - just like Arlong - they were so full of hatred that they couldn’t see past their own biases, their own fear, that all they cared about was getting rid of something unknown. 

And just like you’d felt that darkness welling up inside you as that frightened little girl pleading to the universe for help, the darkness answered, and it bled into your vision. 

You were chaos in motion.

This time when you screamed you let all the fear, the rage, your own venomous alienation and hatred that brewed in the recesses of your body; boiling under the blood and bones. This time when you inhaled, your lungs filled every available inch with air and when you released it you felt the world begin to tremble at your feet. 

—————————-

A warm hand on your bare back startled you off the floor. Instinctively, an arm rushed up to press what little of your shirt remained. You expected to see Arlong’s smug face in front of you and sighed in relief when instead it was Nami. 

She looked worried as she took in your present state. The hand she’d placed on your back still hovering where you’d been but not moving. Big blue eyes watched you carefully while she assessed you. Your own eyes looked down to her hand and found, what you hoped, was a shirt. 

“Please tell me that shirt is for me?”

Gods, it sounded like you’d been gargling glass. You could taste the faintest hint of copper on your tongue. An old wound made fresh the minute you opened your mouth to talk. Speaking of wounds… 

Everywhere hurt. The whole left side of your body felt like it had been flayed open and salt was poured in. You were aware of the dried blood that had left behind a thick flaking crust of rust and your face… your right side was sore. Your eye socket swelling with every passing minute. You couldn’t recall being struck in the face, but it would explain you waking up on the cold floor. 

As if remembering she held the shirt in her hand, Nami looked down at the item in question before she extended her hand out towards you. She looked relieved to see you but…also afraid. You just couldn’t figure out if it was for you or because of you. 

“Are you alright?” She let out in a rush. “You’ve been out for quite a while and I didn’t know-“

Didn’t know if you were dead. 

Those were the unspoken words Nami didn’t have the courage to speak out loud into the universe. Like it was a curse that could change its mind at any minute. You gently moved to sit better on the floor and found the same shackle now cuffed on your ankle. 

Nami’s eyes followed yours to the chain that slithered around the floor as you moved to be as comfortable as you could. It wasn’t hard to notice her own disdain at seeing it again. 

“They placed it on you when they thought you might make a run for it. And also after what happened.”

“What did happen, Nami?”

You took the shirt from her but made no move to put it on. This was the most vulnerable you’d seen Nami since you’d both left that day from the Baratie, and you couldn’t let it go to waste. Not when the chances of her putting her walls back up were so high. You knew it was this room that was making her crumble. Plus, you were willing to bet you looked not the greatest at the moment. 

Nami swallowed hard before she answered, “I don’t know. Arlong nor Kuroobi would talk to anyone when they left. They just told no one to go in - said the structure was unsafe.”

“Well, that was certainly more cryptic than I would’ve wanted in an answer.”

Your last words hissed through your teeth as you gritted against a wave of sharp pain from your shoulder. It set off a landslide effect, because the minute you winched at the pain your entire face lit up. 

“I’m telling you the truth.”

“I never said you weren’t, Nami. My stance on you hasn’t changed.”

Nami looked away from you as she moved to stand with her fists noticeably tight. She looked ready to break at any second, and that’s why you could understand her turning to leave. She’d come to do what you suspected was her only real reason to come. You were alive. She gave you a shirt and that was all you needed. Everything else would heal, eventually.

She’d made it halfway out of the circle, her feet stopping on the last step before she turned sharp to look at you. You’d started trying to peel your ruined shirt off and stopped part of the way. Your eyes met hers as they started to shatter. 

“Why did you even come? Why did you do this when you knew something like this could happen to you?”

It dawned on you within seconds that Nami was blaming herself. She couldn’t stand to look at you because you represented a mistake on her part. Something that was breaking whatever facade she created to survive. 

You didn’t know when Nami had been brought to this room. If this chain you were now attached to began with her, and it did…she wasn’t the adult she was now. Whatever pain Nami held was her own right, but your choices weren’t her responsibility. 

“I came because you are my friend, Nami. I don’t know why you are doing the things you are. I’m sure you have your reasons and, when you’re ready, I’ll hear them. You’ve been alone for a long time. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” 

You watched as she took each of your words. The way she tried to remain unmoving at the weight of them and what they meant. She took in a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. 

“Zoro’s going to be pissed when he sees you like this.”

A snort of laughter escaped you and it was followed by instant regret. You were going to need medicine for your face before it swelled your eyes shut. 

“Yeah, like he’s ever going to see me like this.”

——————

It turns out going out for some sun was a terrible idea. 

It wasn’t helping clear his head in the slightest. It was usually one of the things he enjoyed the most - finding a good spot, like this one on a crate in front of the main mast. The sun pouring down directly on him warmed him down to his toes, except no matter which angle he turned, Zoro still felt cold. 

A weight had begun to bury itself deep inside his chest. One that aches along with the wound on his chest. A wound that you should’ve been there to examine as soon as he’d woken up with words that chastised him as much as teased. And yet…

Zoro found the bottle of antibiotics you’d made for him. His hand snatched it off the top of the long shelf as he examined it. The note you’d left embedded in his palm clenched in the other. He could still recall how loud the shattering of the glass sounded when he launched it across the room. His chest lit up in fresh waves of pain, but he didn’t give a shit. The anger he felt was white hot and molten and underneath all of that fury was a grief he hadn’t felt since he was twelve.  

      Things you owe me once you wake up: 1. Find me 2. Save me 3. After you save me - Apologize  4. Apologize. Again 5. Groval

Who the hell did you think you were asking him to apologize? And to apologize after you decided to go with Arlong was the best option. It should’ve never been an option in the first place. Zoro wanted to throttle you. To grab you by your arms and shake you to try and understand what in the hell were you thinking? He wanted to find you and lock you inside your room to make sure you couldn’t make any more stupid decisions. He wanted to lock himself inside your room and make you apologize to him. 

He also wanted to write you off the way Nami wrote them off. To forget you both because his logic told him you’d both made your choice but…Zoro always knew you would do whatever it took to save those around you, even if it meant putting your own life at risk. 

It was idiotic. You were idiotic and while he could practically hear you chastising him about being cynical - that everyone deserved saving - it didn’t mean if it cost you your life. Being a good person wasn’t stacked up with how many times you risked your life for someone else. Sometimes, the hardest choices came from choosing yourself and the good you could still do for the world if you were in it. 

Not everyone was your responsibility to save. 

“Yes, we do!”

Luffy’s joyous shout thankfully saved Zoro from having to think about it anymore. His fingers let go of your note as his eyes opened up to see an incredibly unwelcome sight entering his captain’s ship. 

“Why are we bringing the waiter?”

“Because we can’t boil water.” 

Usopp’s answer didn’t help him feel any more at ease. A few moments later he called out that he was dropping the sail. 

Zoro removed himself from his spot and found his way over to the stairs. His body slowly made a climb that felt like his stitches were getting ripped open with every movement of his limbs. He was ready to set sail and to be away from this place.

Baratie turned out to be more of a pain in the ass than the food was worth. And now they were stuck with the waiter. 

Soon, the breeze from the ocean swept across the ship, and immediately Zoro felt more at ease. Whether it was because they were finally sailing or it was because it meant he was getting closer to finding you, Zoro would never be sure. Or admit to that last one even if it was true. 

He could hear Usopp’s feet as he dashed across the deck checking on the masts lines and hitches. He’d finished checking the one behind him next to the sheep’s head when he called out, “So, we’re going after Nami and Doc, but how are we going to find them?” 

“Yeah, we don’t even know where she is.”

It was a thought that plagued him the minute Luffy mentioned his plan. He didn’t want to be the one to burst his bubble that without coordinates they wouldn’t be going after anybody. Luffy didn’t seem the least bit phased as he smiled down at all of them. 

“I know someone who does.”

With those parting words, Luffy moved down the stairs and into the galley. Usopp moved past him and Zoro reached out to grab the railing to help him to his feet. He should’ve never sat down. Slowly he made his way into the galley where Luffy was waiting for them with a black bag centered on the table. 

Zoro’s hand skimmed along the large island to help hold him up, as he moved but stopped short as Luffy revealed what was inside the bag. 

“Hello, boys!”

Of course, it was the fucking clown. 

________

As always, thank you so much for reading. Reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated.

________

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summary: "drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain."/"kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain." The first time you meet Spencer Reid, you swore that you could feel the sparks fly. You figured that it would be unreasonable to ever consider him to be anything more than a friend, and in a moment of selflessness you tell yourself that you are perfectly fine in that position. As time goes on, the line between romantic and platonic love begins to blur indefinitely. But it would be ridiculous to think that the resident genius would feel anything for you... right?

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, mutual pining, happy ending

warnings: rated 16+ for canonical criminal minds trauma, drugs/relapsing, torture, therapy, panic attacks/night terrors, guns, death, ‼️always read each fic's individual warnings for triggers‼️

taglist: here

schedule: (hopefully) every thursday

main masterlist

01 — better than revenge

“she’s not a saint, no, she’s not what you think. she’s an actress.” 

you thought you were past the immature arguments now that you're an adult. you thought you left those in high school, or even college. maybe you thought you did. apparently, spencer thought otherwise.

02 — haunted

“something’s gone terribly wrong, you’re all i wanted.”/“you’re not gone, you can’t be gone.”

it wasn't supposed to be like this. it was supposed to be a normal open-shut case. but people are unpredictable and you're left picking up the pieces as you work yourself to the grave.

03 — labyrinth

“uh oh, i’m falling in love”/“thought the plane was going down, how’d you turn it right around?”

everything hurts. it's understandable, after everything he's went through. spencer wishes that he could erase every one of his scars. he wishes he could stop chasing the highs and embrace the lows. but at least he has you.

04 — you are in love

“you can hear it in the silence.”/”you can hear it on the way home.”/”you can see it with the lights out.”

spencer didn't think that something like this could happen. no, rather, he wanted to deny the fact that something like this could happen. but all he can think about is you.

05 — tbc...

reblogs are always appreciated!

taglist: here

Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 6

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 16.7+

A/N:  I swear I don’t start writing chapters with the intention of making them like this. The next chapter is probably going to be smaller because I get so much anxiety giving you guys these big beefy chapters. This chapter is HEFTY and full of angst. There are more one-on-one interactions with the crew members to start bringing everything together. I'm not going to lie, I struggled a lot writing this week because I started to think my writing was trash. I know it’s not necessarily true but ya. I prevailed enough to bring you this. As always, thank you, guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

P.s. This chapter is sponsored by not really  Halsey’s - Ya’aburnee 

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Previous

The background noise that rose and fell in octaves around you told you that they were all still talking; still arguing. Usopp disappeared to find Luffy who you could only guess was inside that damn kitchen. Nami continued to try and talk sense into Zoro who ignored every word she said by lazily running his swords over the wet stone he’d placed on the galley’s island. 

“Are you even listening to me?” 

Nami was struggling to keep her voice calm but she was losing. She’d looked over at you more than a few times since you’d all evacuated to the ship to help her, but what could you magically say to make Zoro change his mind? He didn’t seem like a man who responded to pleading or demands. 

He strongly held on to his beliefs. They were a system that guided him; molded him into the pain in the ass he was now. While you watched him continue to tune Nami out it was easy to see the dedication he’d given over the years to become who he was even at a young age. 

Behind all that arrogance was a determination that sliced just as sharp as his blade. Zoro knew who he was and what he needed to do to succeed, and that was more than you could say for yourself at times. 

So…who were you to get in the way of his dream?

The answer to that was as startling as a slap to the face. You were the woman who’d fallen hopelessly in love with him, and he hadn’t even realized it yet.

While you wanted to remain steadfast and devoted to the belief that Zoro had a chance and that the probability of him defeating Mihawk was high, the realistic part of you sounded like Naan. 

“Get those foolish thoughts out of your head, girl.”

For once, you wanted to swat away all of her cynicism. All of her realism forced you to fight to still believe in magic and the good in the world around you outside of science and facts. You wanted to believe that Zoro knew what he was doing and that he was strong enough to beat a grown man almost half his age. 

The other part of you, however, howled on the inside for you to stand up and go to him. To take his face in your hands and demand that he look at you and not turn away. Zoro didn’t respond to pleading, but it didn’t keep your own cries from weighing heavy on your tongue. 

Don’t do this. Stay with me. Make a new dream - with me. 

All your life Usopp and you imagined what it would be like to get off the island. To put Syrup Village behind you, all the pain and unknowns that never received answers. You could both leave on your own adventures and replace all the painful memories with ones aboard ships and the open seas of possibilities. 

You never imagined you’d meet people like Luffy or Nami. Like him. 

Looking at Zoro now as he dragged his sword over the stone one last time you felt your heart sink. Zoro had placed all three swords neatly on the table and took his time giving them adequate deadly attention. He didn’t seem bothered that you and Nami were in the room and sheltered out anything she tried to tell him. 

Nami was begging in her own way. What could you possibly say that would change his mind? She was looking at you now, as your arms wrapped so tightly around yourself - constricting the breath from your lungs making it impossible to formulate words. You were holding on so tight because you knew if you let go, you might run to him. 

“Doc-“ the sound of her calling you jolted you out of your thoughts and back into the present. Back to where you didn’t want to be. Nami was flying her eyes like a whip from you and back to Zoro as if you needed help knowing where to direct your pleas. “Is there anything you want to add here?”

Fuck 

Zoro looked up. He actually looked up from what he was doing to look at you. Shit. Did he want you to say something? Or did he just want to know if you were going to be another obstacle in his way?

“I-“  I don’t know what to say. 

What did she expect you to say? Everything you wanted to say wasn’t meant to blurt out in front of her or anyone else. You were still trying to process that you were admitting to yourself that all the feelings you felt weren’t just indigestion. That it wasn’t just the liquor from the fishbowl that made you wish you’d laced your fingers in that moss-green hair and kissed him. 

Luckily for you, Usopp came running back into the galley which told you all that Luffy was right behind him. 

“Oh great you’re here. Maybe you can convince him to call it off.” 

Zoro had gone back to examining one of his swords and making sure it was ready for the morning. He looked so deep into the edge of the katana you wanted to ask him if it was like a magic mirror and what did he see? Did he see a victory inside that blade as he polished it? Or did he see something much darker? 

“I won’t do that.”

“Did you not see the size of that guy’s sword? He will slice you into sashimi.”

“What’s going on?”

“I have been trying to figure that out for the last thirty minutes,” you huffed. 

Your words only earned you an exasperated look from Nami. 

“You were there when it happened!” She shot back, her voice incredulous. 

“And I am still struggling to comprehend how we went from zero to a thousand in less than a minute.”

You hated this entire thing. The tension radiated like a volt of electricity between all of you. One minute, you felt fine, or as fine as you could be in this situation. The next, the anxiety from Usopp or Nami would set you off or you would completely close down like the indifference Zoro was currently showing all of you. 

“I’m even more lost now,” Luffy muttered.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. Your big, bad Marine grandpa sent a warlord of the Sea to bring you in, and instead of getting the hell out of here when he had the chance, Zoro challenged him to a duel.” 

“Which he accepted.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” Usopp muttered to Luffy. 

Usopp looked as nervous as you felt. Your body finally removed itself from the booth in the galley to stand beside him, linking yourselves arm and arm. 

While Nami spoke, Zoro sheathed his sword and placed it back on the island. His arms extended out as he leaned his hands against it, his eyes boring a hole into Nami as she spoke. 

“You are a fly to him. Something to be swatted and forgotten.”

“Not if I win.”

“You’re not going to.”

“You don’t know that.”

Your hand fell down to grab at Usopp’s and squeezed it lightly. Big brown eyes turned to look at you and, whatever he saw reflected in yours, was enough to make him squeeze yours back. 

You knew Nami was trying to make a point. This dude was dangerous. He was a pirate warlord, for Christ's sake, but the idea of Zoro no longer existed…

No. No. You wouldn’t think it. Couldn’t. 

“Guys, guys, maybe we need more drinks,” Usopp offered. 

A part of you wanted to laugh. You could feel it bubbling up inside your chest but the wildness of it let you know it would come out panicked; a sound that displayed the current breakdown of your soul. 

No one else seemed to appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.

“Tell your first mate he’ll get himself killed.”

“Tell your navigator to butt out.”

For once, Luffy looked lost. A look of childish uncertainty replaced the care-free nature that lived inside him. You hated seeing him so unsure, but he was the captain. He was your captain and these situations called for him to make the best decision for his crew. 

“Maybe this isn’t such a great idea, Zoro.”

“When you met me tied up on that cross, what did I say?”

Oh, no. No. You knew where he was going with this. Luffy telling you the story in this very galley came flooding back in crystal clear clarity. 

“What makes you think I wanna play pirates with you?”

“No, the other thing.”

“I kill your kind for a living?”

“No!” Zoro almost shouted the word. “Come…” A groan of frustration left him as he finally looked away from Luffy. The desire to get Luffy to remember consuming him - to remember why he needed to do this. 

And like a switch being flicked, a quiet, “Oh,” sounded beside you, and you knew Luffy remembered. 

“That you made a promise to someone a long time ago to become the world’s greatest swordsman.”

“The only way to do that is to beat Mihawk in a duel and take his title. I intend to do just that.”

The words left him in a shout. All that determination rolled into a punch of syllables directed at Nami. At you. Anyone who tried to stand in the way of fulfilling that promise he’d made so long ago. 

“Can’t you just fight him without anyone dying?”

Your voice was sheepish, so small it barely carried over a whisper. Zoro wouldn’t look at you. You’d only earned a small flick of his attention before he replaced it back on the galley’s island. 

“To be the world’s greatest swordsman only one can live. There can’t be two-“

“Why not that just seems silly-“

“Because that is just how it is!” 

He’d dismissed you without a second thought. A teacher schooling an ignorant child who wasn’t privy to how the world works. You wanted to throttle him. 

“Even if you die in the process? Will you please do something?”

It hurt to see Nami so frantic. You were used to seeing her composed and smart. Maybe her anger when someone was doing something particularly idiotic. Never broken. Not like this. 

Luffy regarded Zoro one last time and when you saw the soft smile press a hard line into his lips, you knew any chance of getting him to change Zoro’s mind was gone. 

“It’s his dream, Nami. I can’t get in the way of somebody’s dream.” 

“What if I dreamed of being eaten by a sea beast what the-“

Usopp gently tugged on your conjoined hands to get your attention. His head shaking once to tell you now wasn’t the time to make jokes or be angry. Wasn’t it? 

“What’s it going to take, huh? You want me to say you’re the best? You’re the best. Okay? You’re the best I’ve ever seen, but you are not better than him. And if you fight him tomorrow, you’re going to lose.”

Every word she spoke threatened to make your knees collapse. You didn’t know anything about Dracule Mihawk, except his apparent love for overly large things. Big sword. Big hat. Big feather for said hat. There was no denying, however, the sheer power that radiated off him as he stood there unmoving while Zoro challenged him. The fact there hadn’t even been a glimmer of worry that shifted through his eyes told you plainly he was more powerful than you could imagine. 

And Zoro wanted to fight him. To the death. That manic laughter was beginning to bubble up again in your chest and you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep it quiet this time. 

Zoro finished sliding his last sword home inside his sash as he asked, “Why do you even give a shit?”

“Because you are my friend, you idiot.”

“You said it yourself. You don’t have any friends.”

If this was something Nami ever spoke of, it wasn’t something she’d shared with you. Maybe it had been true before you’d all met each other, but that wasn’t true now. In that moment, it didn’t matter if she remembered you were all there or not. His words hit a scab deep inside her and pulled and picked until he ripped it open. 

Fresh blood from an old wound. 

This time you weren’t worried about accidentally saying anything. Warm fuzzy feelings were thrown to the back of your mind as your own blood thundered for you to come forward and defend her. 

“And you are acting like a Grade A asshole.” 

You released Usopp’s hand to take a step forward. You had every intention of going to her and seeing if she would allow you to stand beside her. You never got the chance. Nami’s eyes looked at each and every one of you- her supposed crew mates - just before she turned on her heel and left the room. 

Once she disappeared from sight it left only the four of you inside the galley. Luffy looked as if he was trying to process just what took place and Usopp, well, he was Usopp. He looked about as lost as you were in the grand scheme of things. 

Your eyes flashed to Zoro and found him already looking at you. His wrists hung loosely over the hilt of the sword as he regarded you. He didn’t soften as your eyes met his but seemed to harden further. A silent challenge for you to try and say something that he would only dismiss. 

“What was that?”

“I told her the truth.” 

“No,” you snarled. “You told her whatever was most convenient for you and your feelings. You want to go get yourself killed, Zoro. Fine. But don’t stand there and act like everyone is supposed to be happy about it.” 

“No one told you that you had to be here or that you were even wanted here.”

“Guys-“ Usopp interjected. 

Neither of you were listening. You could feel your eyes narrow in on him. The pain that had moments ago made it impossible to breathe now hardened into stone.  

“You better hope Mihawk kills you, Zoro because if not I’ll make you wish he had.” 

A part of you meant what you said. Your anger was a living thing at how Zoro used his words as an extension of his swords. Your skin felt like brimstone with the current of fire underneath ready to burst free and set him on fire with how fucking angry you were at him. The way he spoke to Nami. To you. And yet, underneath all that building rage was a fear so palpable you could taste the cold sweat on your tongue. 

You didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t wish him dead. You just wanted him to admit that his ghosts screaming for battle also scared him too. Instead, you were locked in a staring contest you knew you would lose. Zoro’s eyes hardened until he was a mask; unreadable and untouchable. While you knew at any minute your regret was moments away from making itself known. 

With one final look in his direction, you turned to storm after Nami. You needed to find her and make sure she was okay. She did have friends. She wasn’t alone like she apparently thought she was. 

You rounded the corner of the galley that led to Nami’s room. Usually, you would’ve knocked or done something to announce yourself. Naan raised you to be aware of everyone’s space and it was rude just to barge in but you weren’t thinking. You were brimming with too many emotions; too many thoughts that fought to be the clearest. So, when you barged into Nami’s room an apology was already forming on your lips. 

Until you saw her standing with a bag in hand. 

“Where are you going?”

The question hung between you like something fragile. Her own throat noticeably bobbed as she swallowed around something she was going to try and sell you. 

“I was just going out-“

“Don’t lie, Nami.” You moved the rest of the way inside her room and closed the door behind you. “No one carries around an entire suitcase just because.”

Her tongue rolled around the bottom of her lip before she turned away from you. You took note that she was still holding onto her suitcase. She wasn’t going to drop it, which meant however this went she planned on still leaving. 

You didn’t want another Zoro-style fight where insults were thrown to prove points or make someone hate you into letting them go. When she turned back to look at you, all the emotion was stripped from her and you prepared yourself for a fight. 

“Are you going to tell Luffy?”

A sigh pressed past your lips as you shrugged. 

“What am I going to tell him, Nami? You left because you got into an argument and someone said something you didn’t like?”

“Like I give a shit what Zoro or any of you think.”

“Is that why you’re worried I’m going to run and tell Luffy you’re leaving? Make it make sense.”

She turned on her heel and walked back over to a drawer she’d left slightly open. Her hand pushed it back hard before she turned back to face you. The hand that held her suitcase dropped unceremoniously on the floor. 

“I need to leave.”

“Why? Nami, If this is about what Zoro said you know it’s not true.”

“Who are you kidding, Doc? We never chose to be a crew. We were all thrust together by circumstances and just stayed together.”

“Usopp and I chose you guys.”

Hollow laughter escaped her like she couldn’t believe you’d claim this madhouse of a crew. Or maybe the joke was on you, and you just couldn’t see you were the butt of the joke. 

“You don’t get it-“

“Help me understand!”

“I had a job to do before I met Luffy. I completed it and I need to get back.”

“If that was true you would’ve left a long time ago.”

“Ugh, what is it with you? Why can’t you just accept that I’m leaving?”

“Because I don’t think you really want to go back,” you replied, cutting her off. 

The two of you stood there in a silent face-off. Deep down, you both knew that you were right. There were plenty of opportunities for her to leave and go back to whatever life she had waiting for her, but she’d stayed. Maybe it was because of convenience, at first, but somewhere along the line, it changed. 

Nami was happy being a straw hat. Whatever life she had previously was one she’d continue to run away from if she could, but something was calling her back. Whether it was family. Friends. Work. You would never know unless she told you. 

“What makes you so sure?”

“People who want to sneak away in the night don’t stay up showing a small town village girl maps they created in hopes of drawing a map of the world one day.” 

It was only a few nights ago when she had done it. You’d been unable to sleep. Your stomach was tossing like the waves outside the ship. You’d tried to make a tea to ease your stomach and it had failed miserably. Nami had found you curled up becoming one with the galley’s kitchen and gently peeled you from the table. In the very corner she stood in is where she’d sat with you under the light of a lamp and showed you every map she’d ever drawn.

“That’s just a dream, Doc.”

“It’s a good dream.”

She shook her head, her hand outstretched to take back the suitcase she'd discarded. 

“Dreams are just fairy tales for adults. It’s better if you get used to disappointment now than later.”

You wanted to reach out and grab her as she moved past you towards the door. You still had time to do it. To shake her - yell at her - that they didn’t hold the commodity on pain or a shitty life. Maybe you would never know what it was that Nami lost. She may never want to share with you that story of her life, and that was fine. You just wanted her to know she didn’t have to keep running. That you would help keep her dreams alive and safe as long as she wanted them. 

When you turned to follow her you found the door wide open and Nami gone. You could’ve chased after her, but it would only cause a scene. She’d made it clear she’d meant to run in secret - you finding out was an unexpected accident. A part of you wanted to tell Luffy so you could both go charging after her and make her come back, but Luffy would never make anyone do something they didn’t want to do. 

How could it be in less than a day everything had gone to shit? Zoro was so eager to die and Nami…Nami was just gone. With one last look around her room, you moved to sit in the chair she’d been in earlier. The sound of her laughing as you tried on clothes brought the ghost of a smile to your lips and you wondered if you’d ever get to hear it again. 

The Going Merry felt like a ghost ship. 

Somewhere in the bridge, you were aware Usopp had run to hide there as the after-hours of fun began to take its toll. Luffy disappeared outside the ship and you wondered if anyone had noticed yet that the ship was one straw hat less. 

You’d been sitting inside Nami’s room since she left, unable to leave just in case she’d changed her mind and came back. You wondered how long you could wait here before reality forced you to face it that the small family you’d chosen was falling apart. 

Not much longer if the rising hues of the sun’s blood-orange tint on the night sky had anything to say about it. 

With one last glance around the room, you headed back out onto the bridge. You didn’t know where to go. You didn’t feel like playing nursemaid, though you were sure Usopp would’ve appreciated the help, and you didn’t think you could keep quiet about a missing orange-haired girl if Luffy asked where she was. 

You were starting to feel your own hangover begin to creep in and one thing was for certain, you were going to need some coffee. 

Your footsteps sounded loud against the wood. The sound only reminds you of how empty the Merry had become. You pushed through the galley’s French doors and found yourself walking into a Zoro deep in meditation. It was something he usually did in the confines of his room sandwiched between his crates of rum and the small window that looked port side. You’d only ever seen him do it once on the stern of the ship in the early morning when no one was around. 

Not that you were staring or watching or anything.

All three of his swords were set on the hanging baby blue table in front of the window seat where he now sat. His bandana was secured to his head about as tightly as his arms were to his chest. His eyes were still closed and you thought, maybe you’d be lucky enough to turn around and run back to the bridge. You’d take your chances with Luffy. 

“If you’ve come to talk me out of the duel I’ll tell you right now. You’ll just be wasting your time.”

He growled out the words from somewhere deep in his chest. It croaked in places as if he’d been asleep and your presence had woken him. Zoro hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he didn’t need to see to know you were there. 

You’d come stomping in like a person ready to perform a verbal battle when all you wanted was some coffee and a little bit of calm before…

“I came for coffee not to tell you how much of an inconsiderate asshole you’re being.” 

That got his eyes to open and focus on you. You only spared him a moment before you made your way to the cupboards. You were just going to focus on getting a cup and what you needed to make your coffee. You weren’t going to acknowledge him.

Even as you reached the cabinets and started searching for the kettle, you could feel his eyes boring between your shoulders. It forced an irritation to set fire in your chest and that only seemed to grow worse until your hands were squeezing the iron of the handles. At any moment, you expected to see blood dripping from your palms. 

You let out a deep breath and tried to push away all the things you wanted to say. To scream at him. You found the kettle and focused on filling it up and turning on the stove because if you didn’t you would start yelling at him about how maddening he was. It was a good thing you had to look for the coffee grounds to steep them or else you would’ve burst with how petty he was; the bitchest man alive. 

If it wasn’t for making your damn coffee you would’ve crumbled into a sobbing mess as you struggled to find the words to make him stay. You were doing a pretty good job at ignoring him, but of course, Zoro could never just leave it alone. He always had to poke and prod and- 

“You seem to be struggling with that coffee.”

“And why does it matter to you? Are you suddenly in the mood to be caffeinated?”

“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for you to finish and get the hell out of the galley.” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Enough, Zoro!”

You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it broke as his name left your lips. What you hated more was how he responded to the exact sound as it touched his ears. His body language was still rigid but he sat up straighter. His arms dropped down from his body to sit in his lap. 

“I get that this means something important to you. It’s a lifelong goal and you want to accomplish it, but how can you expect to accomplish anything when you push people away.” 

“I’ve accomplished plenty on my own before I ever meet any of you.”

“That’s fantastic. Great for you,” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “What I’m saying is, you don’t have to do everything alone anymore. We are all here for you-“

“Why do you even care? What was it you said, that I better hope Mihawk kills me or I’m going to wish he had.”

You knew saying that would come back to haunt you. How many times had Naan told you speaking out of anger never made a situation better? Zoro thought you’d said it because you hated him to the point you hoped he’d lose. 

“I only said that because you are being an ass.”

“I didn’t know you hated me enough to hope I died.”

“I don’t hate you, Zoro! And the last thing I want is to see you get hurt or worse fucking die. Why can’t you see what it would do to the people who care about you? Why can’t you see that I like you, you idiot!”

The words stumbled out before you could catch them. Your chest felt like it was on the verge of collapsing while your lungs refused to release the breath it held captive. It felt like a lifetime passed between the two of you, and yet you knew it was only seconds. It was long enough for the sting of tears to crown your eyes as you waited for Zoro to do something. Anything. 

What made it worse was how unmoved he appeared by your confession. Your words didn’t seem to cause any reaction from him other than his usual empty stare. The cool look of emotionless stone replaced the teasing sparks of mischief that gleamed in his eyes or the smiles that warmed his face when he was surrounded by his crew. 

You would’ve given anything for any emotion besides the empty reply you received.

“You don’t even know me.” 

“I want to know you, really know you, but first, I need the chance to do that. I can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“I’m not going to lose.”

“You don’t know that!”

“It’s obvious that you don’t believe in me. Like Nami. You both think I can’t do it.”

“Oh my god, Zoro - enough! We are just worried for you. We give a shit about you still being alive. I want to be able to wake up and hear your grumpy ass voice or find you drinking on the stern. I want to be able to have conversations with you while you begrudgingly go with me to forge ingredients and put flowers in my hair. I want to see you look at me the way you did standing alone on the Merry like you did tonight.” You took in a shaky breath as you took a cautious step toward his seated position. “You have infuriatingly crawled your way inside my bones, Roronoa Zoro, and have taken hold. I don’t want to know what life is like without you.”

Your breathing was fast and shaky as if you'd been running. It didn’t matter that the tears you’d struggled to contain fell freely down your cheeks or that your chest heaved, ready to cave in at any moment. 

You were vaguely aware of the Sun beginning to peak its way inside the windows. The timer on what could possibly be the last time you were with Zoro coming to an end. Maybe that was why when he moved to stand you allowed yourself to hope. You let yourself believe maybe your admission meant enough to make him stay, but you watched as he silently slid each katana into their holsters on his sash and it felt like the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. 

“Why can’t you just admit you have feelings for me?”

It was true that you didn’t know much about the world or how it works. You’d never been out of the village. Never had many friends outside of Usopp. The boys in the village are always ridiculous or sometimes cruel or just too stupid to look at. You imagined you had to be broken since all you’d cared about was becoming the greatest doctor you could be. So, maybe you’d read into the small glances too much or the way when you almost fell and he’d secured you close to him with his chin dipping into your neck. It was subtle but you felt it. 

People didn’t just do that when they didn’t like someone, did they?

Once he’d made sure everything was secured inside his sash, Zoro came around the table and walked until he stood beside you. He wouldn’t look at you and just kept looking at the battle ahead because now the sun had risen and he had a promise to fulfill. 

“I don’t give a shit about you.” His words stabbed into your chest and twisted. It felt worse than anything you’d ever felt; a storm cloud of emotions that darkened your mind. But underneath that, you could hear the tremor in his own voice as he forced himself to tell you. “You’re just another one of Luffy’s little add-ons to an already big enough freak show of a crew.”

“Why are you so scared to give a shit?”

“Scared of what?” This time when he snapped it whipped his head to look at you. The soft touch of his eyes hardened into something wild and desperate. “Of you?”

“Either you’re scared or you are a coward. Only someone who’s a coward can’t admit to the truth.”

“Or maybe you’re just delusional.”

Maybe you were. You didn’t know how the world worked. How people worked. You’d traveled into uncharted territory when Zoro began to worm his way inside your brain and hold your heart hostage. It was possible you’d only seen what you’d hoped to see. 

His jaw ticked to whatever irritated thought he had while he looked at you. You expected him to say something else. To finally tear you completely down until there was nothing left. Instead, he turned away from you and started towards the galley’s French doors dismissing you completely. 

You listened as he pushed through with the soft sound of the doors swinging on their hinges filling the space. You weren’t going to follow. You couldn’t watch him walk out knowing he may never come back. 

It felt like an eternity passed before you heard the first clash of blades outside the Merry. You were still standing where Zoro had left you. Unable to move, at first, in case you take that move forward and restart time. As if you had the ability to keep it suspended and him safe. 

It wasn’t until that ringing of metal scraping against metal resonated inside the wood of the Merry that your body jerked back into the present. You already knew Luffy would be there with Zoro; believing in him and cheering him on. Usopp too simply because he knew the power of what support could do for someone. 

And Nami…

Nami had to be long gone by now and you? You were here cowering inside the safety of a vessel so you didn’t have to see. The sound of a body colliding into the dock gave yours a jolt. 

Sure, Zoro had ripped out your heart after you’d admitted what you hadn’t been able to admit to yourself. You’d done it, selfishly, in hopes that it would keep him in the confines of the safety of the ship, but that wasn’t Zoro. 

He wasn’t about safety and backing down from anything. From the moment you’d met him, you’d seen the dedication he held when it came to his ability to fight. The fire drove him to consume and lay waste to those who stood in his way, but underneath the harshness of the fire laid something soft. He’d defended that little girl in the bar. He stood up for those who preyed on villages and mercilessly attacked women and children.

For all the drinking and hard-headed idiotic things Zoro could do he was one of the best men you’d ever meet. There wasn’t anything that Zoro hadn’t proved he could do. So, why couldn’t it be possible for him to beat Mihawk? 

With your mind decided, you pushed your back off the island counter and took off running at full speed. You would support him no matter what was shared between you. Zoro deserved it: he deserved to be believed in. 

You were going up and over the stairs to take the ramp down to the dock when you saw Mihawk stab something small into his chest. You could feel your knees buckle. The way your body went limp and forced your legs to collapse in on themselves as they smashed into the wood of the ramp. 

Zoro’s arms were spread out in Y shape. The edges of his swords barely missed the arm’s of Mihawk, the handles of his swords touching the design on his trench. He was close, but not close enough to do any damage and not far enough away from the small blade that Mihawk embedded deep in his chest. 

“No.”

Your denial came out in a hush and was carried away by the wind. 

Mihawk told him something. Maybe about retreating and forfeiting the match to save his life. It was enough to radiate rage through Zoro’s body and hardened his eyes with determination. 

Zoro would never run. It wasn’t in his character. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Nami approach the dock. She came to stand between Luffy and Usopp and for a split moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Nami was back. The universe was working on fixing all the wrongs that happened in the last few hours.

Mihawk pulled the small blade from out of his chest and you watched as Zoro stumbled back. His swords helped him to stand back up on his feet to face him. 

“I’ll do you the honor of killing you with Yoru.”

No. No. 

The word almost clawed its way out of your throat. A possession so deep to halt time ached through your veins until you thought it was almost possible to do it. As if the very fabric of the air would rip open at any minute just to save him. 

You couldn’t miss the satisfied smirk that curled Zoro’s lips. 

“Now that’s more like it.” 

You watched as he unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and brought it up to his mouth. His body stood straighter as he connected the two swords as one and began to spin them. You’d seen him fight plenty of times with just the two swords. The sheer strength he had just using them didn’t seem to compare to anyone else. You’d seen him use his three-sword style only once before and nothing compared to the sheer strength and speed that came from him placing that blade between his teeth. 

Hope blossomed in your chest as you watched him spin the swords. His body took off moments later as Mihawk moved to rush forward, meeting him in a clash that rattled like thunder from the impact. Zoro came to a sliding stop just feet in front of you. His swords still lifted up to deflect the blow from Mihawk’s blade before they crumbled to pieces in front of him.

Zoro locked eyes with you, your body mimicking his, as he removed the Wado Ichimonji from between his teeth. You could feel fresh tears streaming down your cheeks turning your vision blurry. With his eyes locked on you, he used it to help him get to his feet. 

If your voice would’ve worked you would’ve told him to stop. That he didn’t need to turn around but you knew he would. This was Zoro. The most infuriating man on the planet and honored bound to his beliefs. You clamored to get to your feet. To run to him to try and keep him from turning to face Mihawk. 

He must have seen it on your face. You were probably doing a terrible job of keeping your thoughts off your face. All the panic. 

A soft smile slid across his lips. It wasn’t big enough to crack his lips or show teeth. It never reached his eyes, but it didn’t have to. It was a smile just meant for you. His way of telling you it was alright; to soothe you before the final blow came.  

For one last fleeting moment, you looked at one another and you imagined yourselves back inside the ship. Zoro sitting in his hammock being his usual broody self while you clean up the wound on his chest. You could practically hear him mumbling some shit about you not being gentle against the lip of a newly opened bottle of rum. 

It felt so real that, for a split second, you thought it was. You’d been so caught up in your own daydream that you hadn’t realized he’d turned his back on you. Now he was facing Mihawk his arms spread open wide giving him a perfect kill shot of his chest. 

“Wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame.”

“Magnificent.”

In one swift motion, you watched as Mihawk sliced through the air with his blade cutting perfectly through Zoro’s chest. 

“NO!”

This time you did find your voice and it was unhinged. All that panic you pushed to the side and all that hope you’d allowed yourself to blindly follow came crashing down like a wave. It strangled every last bit of feeling until all that was left was the crushing weight of despair. You were aware that Luffy was there at his side. You could hear him calling out to Zoro with his hands pressed at his body. 

You were sprinting down the last of the ramp and onto the dock. You couldn’t remember bending down to be at his side but your eyes could see him. It was Zoro but not the Zoro you were used to. 

Already he was turning ghostly pale as the wound continued to bleed. We have to stop the bleeding. There was so much blood and he was in so much pain. The wound Mihawk created went from the left shoulder down to the beginning of his sash. It was massive. Zoro’s breathing was shaky and would quiet down until you weren’t even sure if he was even taking in a full breath. 

You reached over to feel his pulse. It weakly flutters against your ring and middle finger as you press down. When you pulled away you noticed your forearm streaked with blood. 

“Monkey D. Luffy - what is your goal?”

“I’m going to become King of the Pirates.”

“King of the Pirates, eh? That’s a much more treacherous path than even defeating me.”

“I don’t care.” Luffy looked back at Mihawk. His usual determination in his voice, but it missed the warmth and it trembled with each word. Whether it was from anger or sadness you would never know. “It’s what I am going to do.”

“Hmm. Maybe you will at that. This world could use a few more wild cards. Roronoa Zoro, It’s too soon for you to die. Grow strong and come find me. I’ll be waiting.” 

You wanted to scream at him to go to hell. You wished you could send him there yourself, but Zoro was still alert. He was fighting and that meant maybe it was his fate to be the one to send the big feathered asshole there himself. 

You wanted to tell him that. To make a joke. You owed him the one about the Marine and the Pirate walking into a bar. You just couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Your hands were trembling violently every time you moved them to try and touch him. So, you clenched them down and kept them pressed into your thighs. 

Usopp came to kneel beside Luffy and Nami slowly made her way to stand next to you. 

“He’s losing so much blood. Doc, what should we do?”

What should we do? 

What were you supposed to tell them? You were the doctor. Their doctor. It’s why Luffy had asked you to join. It was your job to heal them and keep them well. 

Doc, what should we do? 

You should know the answer. You should be the one ordering them around and telling them what to bring you to start staunching the wound. 

“He’s gonna be okay. Hey Zoro, can you hear me? He said it was too soon for you to die.”

“Luffy-“

Fuck. Zoro sounded so weak. All the broody, snarky asshole comments that he’d made were full of life. Each word was rich with the baritone of his voice that dripped down your skin like honey. That same voice now barely rose above a whisper.  

“If I fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman…you’ll be disappointed. Right?”

Each word came out strained. With each breath, he fought to take through the gash in his chest. 

“You could never fail me.”

Zoro opened his eyes and looked over at his Captain. The pain began to make tears spring into his eyes and run down the corners. 

“Never. Again. From now until I beat him.” A grunt of pain burst from his mouth as he grabbed his body to the hilt of the Wado Ichimonji and lifted it up to the sky. His free hand covered his face as if he was ashamed. “To become the world's greatest swordsman I will never lose again!”

Zoro swore it with such conviction you expected him to stand up at any moment and walk himself back to the Merry. Your assessment was wrong, however, when he suddenly went limp with the sword and his arm crashing down against the dock. 

“Zoro?”

This time he was unresponsive. The blood pooling around his middle and seeping into the front of his gi blossomed into a flower that grew ever brighter with each passing second. 

“Doc!” Usopp shouted. It was enough to finally tear your eyes away from Zoro and focus on something else. “What do we do? You’re the doctor here.”

“Right.” The word came out in a huff through your nose. 

Your eyes scanned the scene that was laid out in front of you. It was time to be scientific about this. To focus on what was fixable in front of you and to put whatever feelings you had to the side. 

Why did that feel easier said than done?

They were still waiting for you to direct them. Six pairs of eyes equally as lost as you waiting for direction on how to save their crew mate -  their friend - in front of them. Your tongue lashed out to nervously wet your bottom lip as you scrambled to your feet. 

“We - we need to move him back to the ship. We have to stop the bleeding.”

“Okay, right good call, Doc,” Luffy offered as you all scrambled to grab a limb. 

“Just make sure that when we lift him we do it carefully-“

Luffy and Usopp didn’t wait for you and Nami to grab a hold of either leg. They just lifted and his legs flopped against the deck. 

“Jesus, she said to do it together and carefully!” Nami snapped. 

“I’m sorry I’m just nervous.”

Usopp was obviously as panicked as you. 

“It’s alright, let's just grab him and get him back to the Merry.” 

The four of you grabbed a hold of Zoro and this time smoothly picked him up. Luffy and Usopp carried his upper body and thank god he did. You weren’t expecting him to feel like you were trying to carry a sea cow. Scratch that. It felt like you were trying to carry a sea beast. 

The first steps you took were good, but by the time you started making it up the ramp back into the Merry, you were all struggling not to drop your end. 

“Easy! Easy! Jesus, be careful!”

Nami instructed the boys - mostly Usopp - as they took the last step down onto the bridge. 

“Guys. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold my end,” Usopp grunted. 

“We are almost there, Usopp. Just hold on.” 

“I’m trying but this guy is really heavy.”

To prove his point, Usopp started shuffling backward quicker than you expected. He shoved his shoulder into the double doors of the galley forcing you all to catch up with him. The movement causes you and Nami to bump into one another as you each hold on to one of his legs. 

“Easy. Don’t drop him!”

“I didn’t. He’s just heavy. I mean, he’s got a really big head. It’s, like, freakishly big.”

“Now is not the time, Usopp,” you grunted as you all moved to set him down on the island. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

The question came from Nami as she made her way around the galley’s kitchen. She was searching through cupboards at a furious rate and you didn’t have to ask what it was she was searching for. She’d heard you loud and clear about needing to stop the bleeding. You had some clean linens that were stashed inside your room. You should’ve gone for them, but suddenly, seeing Zoro lifeless on the island of the galley…you couldn’t recall any of your training. 

“Zoro? Hey, can you hear me?”

Luffy’s soft question was drowned out by Usopp asking where the first aid kit was. 

“Why would we need a first aid kit when we have a doctor?” Nami shot back. 

“That’s right. Doc, what are we doing?”

They were looking to you to direct them. You are the doctor. This was your time to shine to be able to prove that you were worth the space Luffy had offered you. So, why couldn’t you move? Your brain was moving at a thousand miles a minute and yet every time it landed on free space it came up empty. If it wasn’t empty, it was screaming that Zoro was dying and you weren’t going to be able to save him. 

Nami returned to the head of Zoro and was holding it in place. You weren’t sure why. The wound was on his chest. Usopp was now thrashing around the room looking for rags. 

“Doc!” 

This time Nami smacked your arm to get your attention. Your feet moved of their own accord to the edge of the island as you reached out and started peeling back the soaked fabric of his shirt. 

There have been times when you were daydreaming in the privacy of your room that you imagined peeling back Zoro’s shirt just like this. To expose the taut muscles underneath. In all of your daydreams, it was never like this. Not like this. 

A sharp hiss of air cut through your teeth as you exposed the large gash to the room. It was approximately two - almost three inches in width. The first and second layer of skin was severed leaving the third exposed and dangerously close to opening it to severe infection. 

“These towels are all I could find. Where’s he bleeding from?”

“Everywhere.”

“Nami, I need you to add pressure with the towels. I have to run to my room and get some supplies.” 

“Ok, but Doc hurry.” 

Asking for speed felt like an understatement. There wasn’t a soul alive inside that ship who didn’t realize that Zoro was beginning to show fewer and fewer signs of breathing. His skin was taking on a grayish tone like a corpse making his green hair look sickly against the grotesque hue. 

You didn’t bother telling her you knew he was dying. You just needed out of that room. 

Your feet carried you out of memory to your room which sat directly across the hall from Zoro. How many times had you gone to go inside your own room and paused, considering knocking on his just to see him leaning against his open door? The thought of never having the chance to make it a reality spurred you inside your room. 

You knew you were going to need thread and a good stitching needle to close the wound. What you really needed was something to fight infection both outwardly and inward. The tonic would have to wait. Without further thought, your hands started going through every jar that held a gathered plant and salves you’d previously made. What you needed was the same Chiterra you’d used on Zeff mere hours ago. It’d been left inside your satchel. 

You ran to its place sat on your bed and upended the bag onto the mattress. Your hands flung everything off until you came to the jade-green bottle and held it up to the light. You didn’t need the sunlight to tell you there wasn’t enough in the bottle. You’d applied most of it on Zeff. 

With a scream, you hurled the bottle against the wall. All that panic was turning to rage and you couldn’t keep it bottled in. You went to grab the things you did have and noticed on the small desk in the corner the snowdrop Zoro had placed behind your ear. 

Suddenly, you were standing back inside that forest. The feeling of his fingertips gliding over your ear as he deposited the flower, hand lingering longer than it should’ve. There was no mistaking the way he looked at you then was the same way he’d looked at you on the deck. The same way he’d looked at you seconds before Mihawk and tried to slice him in half. 

No. Zoro wasn’t going to die today. 

Grabbing what you had, you rushed back out of your room and to the galley. 

“We need to go to the Baratie and ask if they have any supplies.”

“What are you talking about?” Nami asked, flabbergasted. “How do you not have the supplies?”

“I used most of it last night, mending Zeff.” 

“Why the hell were you doing that?!”

“It was to help, Luffy-“You took a deep breath and pressed your hands out, as if it was going to push all the panic you’d pressed down from climbing back up again. “It doesn’t matter now. Luffy, can you go to Baratie?”

“I’m not really hungry right now, Doc.”

“Luffy, no-“ deep breath. Breathe. “I need something that is able to fight an infection. Something we can put on the skin.”

“Right! Right, I can do that!”

Luffy looked over Zoro’s body one last time before he sprinted out of the kitchen. It left the three of you waiting there until he returned but you were done with waiting. You were a doctor and it was about damn time you acted like one. 

If only you could get your hands to stop shaking. 

“Usopp, I need you to take this needle over to the stove and sterilize it for me, please.” 

“I’m on it, Doc.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Nami patiently waited to take whatever direction you would give her. You were sure if you told her to bring you fifty buckets of seawater she would do it without question. 

“Just go back up towards his head and talk to him. I’m going to sew up the wound and, well, it’s not going to feel too great.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

You both went to move around the other to get into position when you lightly grabbed her arm in passing. She turned to you with eyes too wide to be anything else but shocked and you wondered if you mirrored her expression. 

“Thank you for coming back.” 

You weren’t sure why you needed to tell her that, especially at a time like this, but you meant it. No matter what was happening right now, Nami had proven to be the sister you’d never had. Without her here now you might have been lost. 

You let your hand fall away as you came to the side of Zoro and began to unravel the thread. You had most of it unraveled when Usopp showed up beside you and handed over a very sterile needle. You threaded the black thread through the stitching needle and decided to start working on the smallest area. 

Maybe by the time you finished with it the tremors in your hands might have disappeared. 

Luffy arrived back from Baratie with Zeff and Sanji in tow. All three of them walked in just as you finished the last crisscross of stitching on Zoro’s chest. 

“Oy, I was wondering why he was asking for me,” Zeff huffed as he came around the opposite side of the island. “I could’ve sworn you said you were a doctor.”

“I am. I just don’t have anything to put over the wounds to support healing or to keep them from getting infected. I asked Luffy to go in case you did.” 

Sanji set down a basket on the island and you couldn’t keep your brow from quirking up in question. 

“Are we having a picnic?”

“Very cute, smart ass,” Zeff shot back. “Yellowtail skin is known to have enzymes in the skin that staunch the wounds and speed up the healing process.” 

As he explained it all to you, Sanji unrolled a set of very sharp-looking knives and handed the second largest to Zeff. Right after he unrolled the yellowtail from its wrapping and held it out for the older man to take. 

Zeff stroked the fish in appreciation before he began to cut it. Once the head was removed and he sliced it in half, you all watched as he carefully thinly sliced the yellowtail’s skin in sections. Each section of the fish was cut and placed on a plate until the entire fish was flayed. When he finished with the last slice, Zeff motioned for someone to grab the plate as he made his way around to join you on your side of the island.

“It’s my turn to teach you a little something, girl.” 

You wouldn’t deny that you didn’t know about yellowtail skin being able to do any of this. As you watched Zeff carefully layer it over your stitch work, you wondered if Naan was even aware of it. 

“Is he going to be okay?”

Usopp’s question was so soft you wondered if he’d even spoken. His eyes, like the rest of you, all focused on the motionless body of your crew mate. 

“I’m not going to lie to you. He’s lost a lot of blood. I’m sure your doctor can even tell you that. It might be too late for him.”

“But it might not be.” 

Luffy wasn’t going to give up on Zoro. He refused to think of any possibilities where Zoro didn’t wake up. You wish you shared the same belief as him. That Zeff’s words didn’t sit heavily in your thoughts because it was the same one you had.

“He’s got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. You have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. Talk to him. Tell him stories. Sing him sea shanties for all I care. He may not reply, but at least he’ll know his crew is still with him.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “Singing lovely little tunes isn’t going to save anybody.” 

“It’s not about science or what’s up here,” Zeff replied, a thick finger poking you dead between the eyes. “Sometimes it’s the heart of the matter that saves people.” 

Naan would’ve hollered about Zeff being the biggest idiot she’d ever met if she’d heard one word of that. A part of you wanted to ask if he could tell by the look he gave you. 

“We need to wrap him.”

“God, does that mean we gotta hold him up again?” Usopp whined. 

“Yes,” you shot back. “Usopp it does mean I need you guys to help hold him up.”

“I can help you. If you like.”

Sanji stepped around Zeff to come to your side. All his earlier flirting was replaced by the genuine desire to help. You were sure if Zoro knew Sanji had helped him in any way he would implode, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. 

“Sure. I would appreciate it. Thank you, Sanji.” 

You waited on bated breath to hear a cheesy pick-up line and found yourself coming up empty. You got your wraps ready as you motioned for Sanji to lift him and when you finished, Nami offered to let Zoro stay in her room. You didn’t help carry him inside and figured it was only a few short feet from the galley to her room. 

You needed air. You needed rum. You still needed to go fix up your room. 

The only thing you did was the first on that list. 

You’d found yourself standing on the stern of the ship. Your arms hung over the railing as you took in the endless blue that surrounded you and the last few stragglers of ships remaining from the night before. You tried to let your mind relax by wondering who was on those ships; the stories Usopp could create would either leave you in wonder or hysterics. 

That was what you really wanted. Your best friend to tell you a story as far-fetched as the one you’d all been a part of in less than twenty-four hours. You went to remove yourself from the rail when Luffy appeared beside you. His eyes scanned out over everything before him before he turned to smile at you. 

“Hey, Doc.”

“Hey Luffy. Everything alright?”

He still looked shaken by everything that had happened. The smile he’d tried to plaster on his face while Zoro was still conscious on the dock was replaced now with something you never thought you’d see: fear. 

Monkey D. Luffy was afraid. You wanted to reach out and hug him. To remind him that life came with no playbook and you were all just fumbling around trying to make the best decisions without ever knowing the outcomes. 

“Yeah. No. Maybe Nami was right and I should’ve tried harder to stop Zoro.”

“Luffy, Zoro was always going to do what he wanted. I don’t think you telling him not to do it would’ve mattered. What he wanted to know was that you were in his corner believing he could do it. You did the right thing as a Captain. As a friend.”

As the words left you, you knew every single one of them was true. The stubborn idiot was going to go out and do this duel no matter what. It’s what he’d trained himself to do and why he continued to train. Who were any of you to tell him all of that was for nothing? 

While Luffy listened and filtered your words through his head, you could see the small worry lines that had creased his forehead begin to ease. The darkness behind his eyes lightened just enough that you could feel his sunshine beginning to peek through the storm. 

“I’m always going to be in every one of your corners because you guys are in mine.” 

You tried to give him a weak smile. Something that could equal the one he’d given you. You could feel it falling flat and decided it was safer to look back over the side of the Merry or at your hands. 

It was a mistake. How you’d missed the blood - Zoro’s blood - that had caked on your fingers and between them was beyond you. Instantly, you felt like you needed to bathe. To scrub your skin raw before it leaves a deeper imprint like an unwanted tattoo. 

Luffy must have noticed your panic because he moved closer to you, shoulder to shoulder, and gently reached out to stop you from scratching through your skin. 

“Why are you out here, Doc?”

His question was light. Soft. A whisper that forced you to hang your head before a flood of emotion threatened to burst from the dam in your chest. 

“I should’ve believed in him more, like you do. I should’ve shown him or had more faith in who he is.”

“The Demon Pirate Hunter?”

That did make a snort of a laugh leave you as you looked up at Luffy. 

“Your first mate.”

You were surprised when Luffy suddenly wrapped a long arm around you and pulled you into a tight hug. You thought you were going to have to tap out and tell him it was too much. Damn, could he give a good hug. But you didn’t. You wrapped an arm around his waist and allowed yourself to be consumed for just a little while by sunshine. 

“You did an amazing job today, Doc.” 

You pressed a scoff into his chest before you pushed away and secured yourself back over the railing. 

“That’s really sweet Luffy, but no I didn't. I was sloppy. Unprepared. My response time was shit.” Your delay in helping Zoro could be what cost him his life. You didn’t want to say it out loud. The guilt - shame - of that hard fact sat like stones in your gut. “If Naan were here she’d have my ass.”

“But you saved him.”

Luffy looked so confused and you weren’t sure you wanted to explain it to him. He believed in you more than you believe in yourself. 

“No. All I did was make him comfortable if he died.” 

It felt like you were speaking through molasses. The idea of him dying filled your body with such raw grief it threatened to topple you over. 

“That’s not true.”

It was true, and Naan would’ve used this moment as another one of her hard lessons. One just to prove why getting attached to others was never good for a healer. Everything she’d ever taught you had gone right out the window as you watched Zoro fall. All the training and knowledge wasted as you acted like a lovesick girl and not the one who maybe could’ve saved him if she hadn’t been so lost in her head. 

No. You weren’t who Luffy thought you were or who you’d even thought you were. You should’ve stocked up on ingredients more. Noted all the tools you were missing and got them instead of worrying about a world full of promise and adventure. 

“I’m going to go wash up, Luffy. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Make sure you stop in to see Zoro, Doc. I know he’d like to hear from you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Would he want to see someone who selfishly tried to keep him from being who he was? You could still hear the last conversation playing in your head. The way his voice cracked just enough to notice. 

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

You didn’t mean it. You weren’t sure if you could face him but another part of you wondered if the last memory you wanted to carry of him was him lying bleeding on Baratie’s dock. 

The bath had been scolding hot and your skin was still slightly red from how furiously you’d scrubbed it. You’d had no intention of going in to see Zoro. 

Not yet. 

But as you left your room you heard Nami’s voice raise and you bolted toward the sound. What if something was happening to Zoro? Instead of the possibility of you going into doctor mode, you noticed it was yelling of a different kind.

“And I would like it if Zoro wasn’t dying in my bed!”

No! Not dying…

You came shooting around the corner and into the room. Your eyes take in a small-looking Luffy as Nami stands on the opposite side of where Zoro lies. Her eyes were piercing and sharp and full of anger directed solely at your captain. 

“I can’t get in the way of someone’s dream, Nami.”

“What’s going on here?”

Nami’s gaze moved over to you and it made you want to stop in your tracks. It felt like she was almost blaming you for the dying friend in her bed. 

“Nothing. I was just leaving.”

“Again?” 

The word came out before you could stop it. The irritation sparked from her in waves. You hadn’t meant to say it but you were too emotionally exhausted to care. 

“Again?” Luffy asked, visibly lost. 

“It's nothing,” Nami quickly dismissed your words as she set down the book she’d been reading. “Just a slip of the tongue. Right, Doc?”

She wasn’t giving you time to answer her because she wasn’t trying to have more conversation. Not with you and definitely not with Luffy. Somehow, you’d both ended up in the shit yard. 

You turned to watch her retreat and didn’t take one step forward until you were sure she was gone. You reached out to Luffy and touched his arm briefly before you dropped it back down to your side. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just-“ 

He was back to looking lost. His eyes searched for answers ingrained in the wood of the ship and coming up short. He looked up at Zoro still lying motionless in bed and turned in your direction. 

“I’m going to get the Wado Itchy Monkey ready for him when he wakes up.” 

“Itchy monkey?”

“His sword.”

Now this was the Luffy you knew. It wasn’t as cheerful as it should’ve been but you would take this smile over the wounded look any day. 

“Oh, right. The Itchy Monkey.”

You hoped somehow Zoro could hear this and was screaming. 

“Do you want to come with me? I think Sanji is also with Usopp in the galley cooking something. If you want to eat.”

“Maybe later. I need to do an assessment first.”

“Oh, yeah. Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it, Captain.” 

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what? 

“Captain. No one else does.”

His question took you back. Was there something else he wanted to be referred to instead of Captain? He’d seemed to make it pretty clear his dream wasn’t just finding the One Piece, but having a crew all his own. 

“Uhm, because you’re my Captain and that is false. Usopp does say it…sometimes. In between calling himself Captain Usopp.” 

You waited to see that infamous smile brighten his face. The one that reminded you of the good that was housed inside him and the painful realization he was still so young. What you got instead was a softer smile, one that still reached his eyes but spoke plainly of gratitude. 

“Make sure that when you’re done you get something to eat. That’s an order.” 

You offered up a mock salute as you replied, “Aye, Captain.” 

It felt ridiculous. It felt silly but it also felt good. Like you weren’t standing in a room where Zoro was slipping in and out of death. Silly like sitting back in a restaurant. All five of you enjoying a meal filled with laughter and teasing conversation. 

With a heavy sigh, you turned to face the unconscious man before you. He looked incredibly peaceful and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve believed he was just sleeping. But his breathing was still too shallow and there wasn’t any eye movement indicative of dreaming or thought. 

He looked like a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with. The color hadn’t returned to his skin and there was a noticeable sheen of sweat to his forehead and upper lip. Gently, you pressed the back of your hand to his forehead and felt the warmth to his skin. 

You figured there would be a fever, but not so soon. You weren’t sure if it was a good or bad sign but you wouldn’t dwell on it. A fever meant he needed medicine, which was your specialty. You set to work pulling what you needed out of your satchel and began to make something to help reduce the fever and hopefully help whatever infection was in his blood. 

After you steeped all the ingredients through the strainer you walked over to Zoro and gently lifted up his head. You had some trouble wiggling the nose of the bottle between his lips when you remembered you still had to contend with his teeth.

“A pain in the ass even while dying,” you groaned.

You placed his head back down against the pillow and quickly ran through your options. You tried to prop him up as much as you could before you placed your hand on his chin and applied a small amount of pressure until you felt his jaw begin to open. Finally, you were able to deposit some of the medicine between his lips. Your hands gently coax his throat to swallow by running your fingers against the skin. 

Once it was done you placed the jar behind you on Nami’s dresser and went to get a cool washcloth. You weren’t sure if you were going to stay until you started wiping the sweat from his brow. 

You found yourself sitting in the chair Nami no doubt abandoned and the book she’d been reading to him. The tale of Noland. The liar. A man who claimed to have seen something and there was never any proof. 

Liar. That’s what stuck out to you the most. 

You’d been staring at the cloth in your hands, fingers picking at the fraying pieces unable to look at him. Not until now. 

You weren’t sure why you felt so unsure of whether you should be there. If you should bother staying. The last time you’d spoken he’d made it clear what he thought of you and yet…

Reaching out you took hold of his hand for the first time. It felt wrong doing it like this but what were the chances of you being able to do it again? Your thumb moved slowly over his knuckles as if trying to outline each one perfectly to memory. 

“How are you supposed to train me to kick your ass if you don’t wake up?”

Zoro didn’t show any signs of stirring at your words. You expected him to turn his head at any minute. His eyes flew open in horror at the idea of you ever kicking his ass. You could practically hear all the remarks he’d make. 

“The day you ever kicked my ass is the day hell freezes over.”

“It’ll take a miracle for you to even get close.”

But they were the only ones that you heard in your head. Figments of previous conversations warped to fit the crazy narrative that he would be able to answer you back. 

“You know, if Naan could’ve seen how I acted today she would’ve killed me.”

An empty laugh left you as you looked up at his face. There wasn’t the usual dart of a raised brow in teasing. No hard stare that made you feel like he was silently yelling at you for getting on his nerves. 

“She would’ve been disappointed. She taught me over the years that a doctor who can’t think on their feet at lightning speed is useless. A doctor who got emotionally attached to their patients was equally as useless.” You tore your eyes away from him to look at the safety of your lap. Unable to look at him as you spoke, “I was useless at being able to help you when it mattered.”

The sob you’d been struggling to hold back erupted in a burst that forced you to cover it with your hand. You couldn’t let anyone else hear you as you shattered. 

“Maybe that was my final lesson from her. To prove that caring for all of you the way I do is only going to harm you later.”

What good was having a doctor who was only going to fail them later? But Zoro still being alive proved that it wasn’t just medicine that kept people going, but their own desire to live. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need him to wake up and proclaim his undying devotion to you. Even if he woke up still hating you, you would accept it. Anything was good enough for you if it meant you’d get to see him smile one last time. 

Walking into the galley you expected it to be either quiet or at least filled with light conversation. Maybe even a couple of gloomy faces. 

What you hadn’t expected? For it to smell like Baratie inside the tiny space, and to find the reason for the smell to be Sanji talking away with Luffy and Usopp while he cooked. 

“It smells like heaven in here,” you mused, taking in a deep inhale of all the aromas floating inside the kitchen. 

Usopp was leaning against the island - in the same exact spot Zoro had been in mere hours ago. His blood still stained part of the wood. You couldn’t bring yourself to go near it. So, you made your way around it completely and over to sit with Luffy. Who was currently cleaning the Wado Ichimonji for Zoro just like he said he would. 

Everywhere you looked Zoro’s presence was a constant reminder. A ghost haunting you that you hadn’t signed up for. 

“If this is heaven then in walked an Angel.”

Instantly, all your sadness was quickly replaced with irritation - and relief. 

“It’s a little too early to be flirting, isn’t it?”

“Nah. It’s never too early to let a beautiful woman know just how breathtaking she is.” 

“Ugh, I wouldn’t let Zoro hear you talk to Doc like that,” Usopp chuckled nervously. “I think he’d probably implode.” 

“I’m sorry. Who?” 

Sanji either must have had the worst memory you’d encountered in a while or he was playing dumb for the hell of it. Usopp took a bit of the apple he’d grabbed from the fruit bowl. He held up a finger letting Sanji know he needed to wait while he chewed before he spoke. 

“Green-haired guy. Three swords.”

“The one from this morning?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Sanji cocked his head to the side as if he was questioning if Usopp was telling him a joke and he’d missed the punchline. He was in the middle of folding something in the middle of what looked like dough and you were tempted to interrupt their small discussion about your nonexistent love life to see what it was. 

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

Sanji smiled warmly at Usopp and sent another eye twitch in your direction. 

This guy was going to give you trouble. 

You watched as Luffy softly ran one of Zoro’s clothes over the sheath of the blade. He was taking his time and made sure he didn’t miss a single part. He was dedicated to making sure Zoro knew his things were safe here, with all of you, on the Merry. That he was a captain who would do what was necessary for the things you all loved and held valuable. 

“So, how did he look, Doc?”

Luffy’s question tore your eyes away from watching him do another round of polishing. He hadn’t looked at you yet, but you knew the minute you started talking he would give you his undivided attention. 

“He’s doing okay. No real change in vital signs. A slight infection has set in and gave him a fever. I made some medicine to give him every few hours just to make sure it’s nothing major.” 

Luffy placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a light shake. A smile graced his lips as he replied, “The best doctor in all of the East Blue and soon, the Grand Line!”

You wish you could smile back brighter or maybe with something that looks genuine. Instead, a grimace meant to resemble a smile graced your lips. 

“I don’t know about the best doctor. I had no idea yellowtail skin had so many wonderful properties in them.”

“I don’t think any of us did, honestly,” Sanji offered. 

“It makes me wonder if Naan even knew about it.”

“What? You mean the resident doctor in your village never used the wonder that is yellowtail.”

“I think if you told Naan to go fishing for an ingredient you’d end up fishing your teeth off the floor.” 

“Oooh,” Sanji chuckled. “Is she really that bad?”

“Worse,” Usopp interjected. “Naan isn’t really known for taking new age information or techniques very well.”

“Hey,” you interject with a pout. 

“You know it’s true. She follows what her mother taught her religiously and makes Doc follow it too. I’m not saying she’s not a great doctor just…really old school.”

“I mean, she is old, Usopp,” you deadpanned. 

“You know what I meant.” 

“You two seem to know each other pretty well.”

Sanji was keeping himself busy still with scooping batter into a piping bag. You were so tempted to ask him what the hell he was making and how soon would you be able to get any of it. His statement was said with an inviting smile and a look of interest in his eyes as he looked between you and Usopp. 

“Doc and I go way back. She was literally, like, my only friend in the village we grew up in.”

“That is not true. You had Kaya. I had you and Naan and that was about it.”

“I’m sure a beautiful woman such as yourself has plenty of friends and admirers.”

God, please make him stop calling you beautiful. 

“Well, you’re wrong. No one in the village liked me.”

“They were actually scared of her.”

You loved how casually Usopp could just drop information without a care in the world. He was always like that since you were kids. You figured it must have been part of his ability to weave stories so intricately. Sprinkle truth throughout the lie and no one was sure what part was real and what wasn’t. The only problem here? He didn’t follow it up with anything else but the truth. 

“Usopp!” You shot out in a groan. 

He’d taken a bit of the apple again so all you got in response was a shoulder shrug. 

“Why would villagers be scared of you?” 

It wasn’t hard to miss the disbelief in Luffy’s voice or the small chuckle that clung to the back of each word. 

“Because-“ 

“Because she just showed up out of thin air on the island.” Usopp interrupted trying to swallow the remaining apple pieces in his throat. “No parents. No nothing. They all thought that a Siren or something dropped her off on the shores. All the villagers thought she was a bad omen.”

“Oh my god, Usopp! I’m like right here I can tell it and, by the way, you are the reason why everyone thought I came as a curse from the ocean and that my mom was a Siren!”

“I was trying to help you. It got Johnny Fittsmore to stop cutting pieces of your hair, didn’t it!”

“Wow. Okay.” Sanji mumbled. “Weren’t kidding on the friend's part.”

“Why was he cutting pieces of your hair?”

You weren’t surprised Luffy was confused. He was kind-hearted, and would probably never grasp the concept of people choosing to be mean. 

“I just showed up on the beach aboard a small lifeboat. Naan said she could hear my cries from her house.”

“Cries? As in a baby?” 

Sanji stopped all he was doing to rest his hands on the counter. His broad shoulders hunched forward as he looked at you through a small window of hair. He looked visibly upset and the last thing you needed was the new guy to think you were broken.

“I don’t know if I was a baby. I just know I was small and Naan decided not to let the birds eat me.” 

“No parents?”

“I mean, does anyone really have parents at this point?”

Usopp’s mom unfortunately passed away while you were both young. He’d never met his dad, Yasopp, wherever that no good baby daddy of a pirate was and basically had Usopp chasing after shadows in hopes he would ever return. Luffy seemed to only have a crazy stalker grandpa and that left Nami and Zoro with the chance of having actual functioning parental units somewhere.

“The lucky ones do.”

Sanji’s reply was delicate, like his smile, as if he said it too loud it would spook you. 

“I guess that makes us an unlucky bunch of misfits,” you replied. 

“I think we’re pretty lucky,” Luffy interjected. “We all found each other.” 

You were not going to cry. 

In the few hours this all happened,  you couldn’t remember the last time you smiled and meant it. A handful of those times had been with Luffy and, just like the times before, you could feel your own smile curving your lips. A real one. 

“I could drink to that.”

“Funny you mention a drink,” Sanji began as he placed something in the oven. “But I think you still owe me one.”

You got up from your seat and made your way over to stand next to the sink. Your eyes watched as Sanji did, in fact, have a bottle waiting in the basket he’d brought back from Baratie. 

“You always carry a bottle around with you?”

“Only when I get the chance to share a drink with a talented woman, such as yourself.” 

“Do any of these lines usually work on women?”

A full-throated laugh left him as he grabbed two glasses and began to pour the drinks. You would never say it out loud, not even if someone threatened to cut a limb off, but you enjoyed Sanji’s company. He didn’t take himself too seriously, except for his cooking. 

He let you tease him and took everything you served in stride. Although…you did miss the way Zoro always seemed to have something equally sharp to send back your way. Sanji just liked being in the company of others, especially if that company happened to be the opposite sex. 

“Sometimes,” he answered honestly. “It’s usually my charm and not my words that do it.”

“I can see that.”

He was charming. He was handsome. There wasn’t a point in denying facts just because your cup of tea was currently brewing on life support in the back. Sanji handed you your glass and lifted his up in a toast. 

“To the first drink and, hopefully, to many more.” 

You moved your glass to meet his and a light clink filled the space between you. You brought the glass to your lips and swallowed the liquid in a few gulps. As you set your glass back on the island you could hear a soft chuckle from Usopp coming from behind you. When you turned to look at him he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“What?”

“Zoro is going to be so pissed when he gets up.” 

You were about to tell him to shut up and remind him you were both very much single and in no way romantically involved. Even if you might have wanted that to happen, Zoro made it clear it wasn’t what he wanted. 

You started to open your mouth when Nami came crashing in through the galley’s doors. 

“Luffy! Luffy! The Arlong Pirates are at Baratie. We have to leave now.”

“What? Why? Why should we leave?”

“Because they are looking for you!”

“Just fucking great,” you sighed as you grabbed the bottle Sanji had left on the table.

Her last words were directed at Luffy. Of course, someone was here for Luffy. When wasn’t someone here for him? Stalker grandpa. Stalker grandpa’s war dog. Now another pirate who may or may not be working with stalker Grandpa. 

“Me?”

Luffy seemed as surprised as the rest of you. A finger pointing at himself just to make sure we were all physically sure it was, in fact, him.

“And the map. Those fishmen will tear this place apart if Zeff doesn’t turn him over.”

In a flash, all the joking and light conversation disappeared. One minute Sanji was beside you and then he was bounding around the island to get to his coat. 

“Where are you going?”

“If Baratie‘s in danger, I need to be there.”

You knew what was going to happen before Luffy even spoke. The goodness that was the core of who Luffy was would never abandon people to possible pain and suffering. It wasn’t in whatever strange and stretchy DNA that made up who he was. It was why you’d joined him and why you would continue to be aboard this ship until he no longer wanted you there. 

“Alright, I’m coming with you.” 

“Did you not hear what I just said? They are hunting you. We need to run.”

“I’m with Nami on this one. I’m really not trying to ruffle any feathers or scales.”

“Usopp. There are innocent people inside that place.

“How do you know that, Doc? It’s a restaurant that serves pirates!”

“Usopp - we,” you indicated between the two of you, “are pirates.” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s a solid point, but still-“

“I’m not running,” Luffy cut in. “We’re going to protect this place.”

“This isn’t your fight. Why would you do that?”

You could feel yourself waiting for the answer - for Sanji to experience the man that was Monkey D. Luffy. With a kind smile, he simply replied, “You fed us.”

Kindness for a kindness. 

“Look, I know this crew. Their captain, Arlong, has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue. You do not want to mess with him.”

“It sounds like he messed with us first.”

“Luffy, please. Please.”

“Nami. What are you so afraid of?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you to say it or why you moved towards her. It didn’t matter if she tried to deny it or cover it up with anger this time. You’d seen her and the fear that rolled off her like a sickness appeared to cripple her. 

“What do I have to be afraid of? You are all going to rush in there and get yourselves killed!”

“Nami,” Luffy said, “I can’t let innocent people get hurt because of me. If those fishmen guys want a fight, we’re gonna give them one.” He looked between Nami and you and walked over to her. A solid hand cupping her shoulder. “You two stay back with the ship and protect the map. Hmm.”

“Fuck that!” 

You stepped forward to the other side of him forcing him to turn from Nami to face you. 

“I’m going with you.”

“Doc, it’s safer-“

“I don’t care. You’re down a man right now and, no offense Usopp, he isn’t the greatest choice for backup.”

“Hey! I’m taking all the offense!”

“Take it all I don’t care. Luffy, I may not be a three-sword-wielding badass but I can help you. Let me help you. Please.”

Luffy regarded you for one long moment before he slowly nodded. 

“You can’t be serious?”

Nami regarded you like you’d gone insane. Maybe you had. You weren’t a soldier. You didn’t know much about fighting besides when you punched Isaki Quade in the nose in the lemon grove. 

“I’m going with him, Nami.”

“It’s going to be alright, Nami,” Luffy interjected. “The ship and the map will be safe with you.”

With that, Luffy turns on his heel and heads for the door. As you walked past the island you reached up and removed a pot from the upper rack. If Zoro could see you now, you could already hear what he would say in your head. 

Seriously? You’re bringing the pot with you? 

“What’s with the pot?” Sanji asked. 

You twirled it around in your hand as you both tried to keep pace with Luffy’s quick steps. 

“It’s my weapon of choice.”

Sanji still looked confused but you didn’t have time to explain. Luffy was already up and over the side of the Merry and walking towards the deck. If you didn’t catch up fast he would be inside Baratie before you even made it to the door. 

“This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea.”

You knew Usopp was trying to whisper it to himself. He’d always been one to talk his thoughts out when he wasn’t even trying. You tried to soothe him as you passed through the door into Baratie with a pat on his back, and instead, he nearly became one with the ceiling. 

“We are going to be okay, Usopp.”

“You shouldn’t even be here, Doc,” he snapped back. “You are the ship's doctor. What happens if we get injured and so do you?”

“The good news is in that scenario I’m just injured - not dead. So, I can still patch you guys up.”

“That doesn’t make me feel the least bit better.”

If the mood wasn’t so serious you would’ve laughed. The moment felt like you were back in Syrup village with Usopp rambling on and on about if he should or shouldn’t tell Kaya he was in love with her. No matter what you told him, his head would still worry. It was his nature. 

Everything froze in time, however, when Luffy pushed open the double doors and stepped inside the eerily quiet dining room. 

“Who here is Arlong?”

That was one way to make an entrance. 

“That would be me.”

A deep voice boomed from below you and when you looked over the railing, immediately you wished you’d stayed on the ship. He was holding an older man by the collar, sharp teeth exposed at his throat. You suddenly wished Zoro was here. 

“My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I hear you're looking for me.”

“Why, yes I am.”

You had to hand it to Luffy. Arlong looked terrifying to look at and overly confident. Luffy didn’t seem the least bit phased by any of it as he led you all down the stairs. 

“So, this is the pirate I’ve heard so much about? You know? I was expecting someone…bigger.”

“So was I.” 

If you weren’t so fucking terrified you would’ve laughed. At least Luffy was able to smile for the both of you, because the minute eyes darker than the trenches of the ocean peered up at all of you ready to rip out your throats you swear you felt your soul exit stage left. 

“Do you know who I am, boy? I’m Arlong the Saw. Even the Marines flee before my flag.”

“Not ringing a bell. How’s you find me anyway?”

A sickening chuckle that reminded you of gills taking in water filled the room. 

“An old friend helped me track you down.” 

He clicked his tongue right after he finished, and you hated the fact that you jumped. You hated it even more when Sanji moved to stand just a little in front of you to protect you. 

In all of a second, the dirty blonde-haired fishmen reached into a black bag and took out a- 

“Is that a fucking clown head?!” 

You wanted to scream but swallowed it down as it started talking and- oh god moving. The neck area actually wiggled as he shouted, “Heya, Straw Hat. Did you miss me?”

“Burpy? What are you doing here?”

“Believe me, it wasn’t my first choice either. But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain’t easy when you don’t have any hands.” 

He let out a laugh like this was like any other day. All completely normal. 

“How’d you even know how to find me?”

“I told you. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.”

To prove his point, you watched in horror as an ear fluttered its way out of Luffy’s hat and back to attach itself to Burpy’s head. 

“What is happening right now?” 

Your whisper was aggressive and you weren’t even sure why you were even asking Usopp or Sanji like they even knew. It just made you feel a bit better when all three of you looked at each other equally disturbed. 

Luffy, as usual, looked less shocked about the ear in his hat and more that he’d been listening. 

“You were listening all along? You heard everything?”

“Everything. And that got old quick, ‘cause you shidiots have no idea what you are doing. By the way, Doc, it's so nice to finally meet you. You’re equally as delicious as Dreamsicle. Wherever she is. Hey, Lips!”

Burpy turned to yell at the fishmen who did have rather large lips to scratch his ear. You were still stuck on the fact a clown head was trying to hit on you. 

Maybe you should’ve just stayed with Nami on the boat. 

The fishmen denied him his apparent scratch and Burpy went into full shriek mode. You instantly winced at the sound and tried not to cover your ears as his head was shoved back inside the black bag. 

“Listen here. I want my map and half of whatever you plunder as tribute. And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.”

Arlong was walking slowly towards you - towards Luffy. You weren’t sure if while he talked he was smiling or snarling. 

“I don’t bow down to any man.”

“I’m no man.”

“Or fish,” Luffy corrected. “You’re no king.”

“I will be when I get my Grand Line map.”

“Then…” Luffy placed his hat back on his head and you already knew what was coming. “You’re going to have to fight me for it.”

Shit. 

Suddenly, coming in with a fucking cooking pot felt ridiculous, but you were gripping it tightly all the same. 

“Then let the fighting begin.” 

Right as Arlong smacked his fist into his hand, the sound of a gunshot went off and your eyes traveled up to see a rather large Chef’s hat in the middle of the room. Attached to that hat was Zeff who held a small muscat in his hand. 

The other fishman who sat at the table with Blondie immediately got up and kicked the wood of Zeff’s wooden leg. It broke without pause and sent the older man tumbling to the floor. When he looked up, the Fishman kicked him hard and sent him flying back through three tables. 

“Zeff!”

Sanji’s voice was filled with so much pain your chest aches but it was also thundering to life with adrenaline. How the fuck did you think a pot was going to help at all against them? You could hear Zoro chastising you, calling you a dumbass and you swiftly pushed it away. Now was not the time to talk to imaginary Zoro. 

Sanji ran down the stairs and kicked Blondie away and used the momentum to land on their table. He spun off and kicked the Fishman who’d hurt Zeff. 

“Usopp!”

He ran past you and shrank down small to get under the table. No one else saw him do it. They were too busy watching Sanji as he took on the fishman. 

“Usopp, get bac-“

You moved down the stairs to get him and were greeted with Sanji’s body landing on the exact table. It tipped over instantly and exposed Usopp underneath. He immediately clamored out from underneath it. 

“Get the people out of here! Get them out now!” 

You rushed down what was left of the stairs as Luffy started shouting out his gum-gum pistol. You could hear his body stretching impossibly far back, but you were busy trying to get to Sanji. He was choking on the air trapped in his lungs and your body was seized in terror that he may have a punctured lung. 

“Sanji,” you asked, placing a hand on his face to bring him to focus on your face and the other gently on his side. “Are you alright? Does anything feel broken?”

“Just…my pride,” he wheezed back. 

You ignored the fact he’d placed his hand over yours and lightly began to move him towards Usopp who was now on the other stairs. You looked back and saw Arlong toss Luffy violently against the pillar. 

“Get up!”

“Luffy!”

You tried to move down off the stairs and felt Sanji grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there with him and Usopp. He kept throwing punch after punch and Arlong took them all with stride. Luffy wasn’t making a dent and to Arlong this was just a game. 

Luffy tried to swing on him one last time and Arlong caught it. He tried to swing again to make Arlong let him go, and he easily caught that one. With both fists in his hands, he used them to pull Luffy to him. 

You tried to wiggle free but Sanji held on tight and the feeling of Usopp’s hand on your shoulder joined in. Luffy looked so scared; so angry as Arlong told him something through sharpened teeth. One minute they were there and the next Arlong flung him up into the foray. 

“Luffy!”

This time you did scream as Arlong took the stairs to reach him. The continued sounds of a body being thrown through stained glass windows. 

“Doc, I know you want to go to him but you can’t! It isn’t safe.”

“Fuck that I can’t just let him die!”

You were nearing hysterics. Why couldn’t they remember that Luffy was a Devil Fruit eater? That outside was miles and miles of ocean and Arlong knew it. All it would take is one splash, and one toss, and Luffy would be defenseless. All it would take is him falling over the dock and he would drown. 

“He isn’t going to die!”

“Usopp, he ate a Devil fruit! Mother Ocean turns her back on those who do and what is outside with them?” 

You needed them to understand that it wasn’t because you wanted to be a hero. You weren’t that kind of person. You just wanted to save the life of your Captain. 

You refused to lose two people on the same day. 

“Oh, shit,” Usopp mumbled and you felt your head shaking along with it. 

“Yes! Shit. I need to make sure he’s okay. Please.” 

Sanji looked from Usopp and back to you. Blue eyes desperately searching your face to come up with a reason to tell you no. Finally, he released the hold he kept on your waist and nodded up the stairs. 

“Go check on our Captain.” 

You mouthed the words thank you as you bolted up the stairs. You took them two at a time and rounded the broken foray doors to see the sunlight coming from outside. That door too had been completely smashed open with Luffy’s body. 

The adrenaline in your veins screamed at you to move faster; be quicker. Your feet thundering onto the dock just in time to see Arlong holding Luffy up over the edge of the dock and…was that Nami?

“Nami!” You called out to her. “What are you doing?”

“Doc! Stay back!” 

Each word that left Luffy came out choked and ragged. His hands weakly clamored at the grip Arlong had on his throat. Your eyes didn’t know where to look. Luffy who was in danger or Nami who…had a suspicious-looking tattoo that looked like Arlong in tattoo form and the Grand Line map in hand. 

“What is going on?”

“A business transaction, girl,” Arlong chuckled. “Don’t be a pest and interrupt.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, asshole,” you snapped. You should’ve cared when the smile left his face. When he looked like he would throw you into the ocean along with Luffy. “Nami. I asked you a question.” 

She turned on you then. Her whole body facing you as she gave you a shrug and a look so icy it could’ve frozen hell slid across her face. For all her show of hatred, however, she couldn’t hollow out the heartbreak in her eyes. Nami didn’t want you to hate her but she would make you, and you wanted to know why. 

“What is it that you aren’t comprehending, Doc? I was sent to steal the map and bring it back to him. I’ve been a part of Arlong’s crew this whole time. I played you.” 

You didn’t believe her for one second. Your friendship isn't something that could be faked. The way she cared and pleaded with Zoro to not fight Mihawk. She’d even pleaded with Luffy to run while Arlong was here and maybe…maybe it’s because she was running too. 

“I don’t believe you-“

“Believe whatever you want. It’s not going to make a difference or make any of this less real,” she snapped. 

She dismissed you by completely turning away from you and headed towards a Jolly Roger that held the same emblem as her tattoo. Arlong went to bite at Luffy’s neck and Nami called to him. 

“Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater when the sea can do it for you.” 

No! “No!” 

This time when the fear threatens to freeze you in place and to keep you from making that critical step forward, you don't hesitate to burst into a full sprint. Your words leave you in a rush. 

“I’m a doctor! Do you hear me Arlong!? I’m a doctor.”

“Doc, no-“ 

“What good is a human doctor to me?” Arlong snarled in response. 

You could hear the sound of his fingers releasing Luffy. The sound of his body edging closer to the lip of the ocean. 

“Columnaria! Fish rot. I can cure it.”

That caused him to pause - for everyone to pause. 

“How? You’re a human.”

“We had fishmen who served one of the wealthy businessmen where I lived. They would get sick and Naan- the healer would have to treat them. She taught me how.”

Cautiously you moved towards him with your hands up. If he did decide to not take you up on your offer and drop Luffy into the ocean you wanted to be close enough to jump in. 

“I can treat any of your fishmen who are sick with it. I can teach you how to care for it yourself. But if you drop him into the ocean you’ll get nothing.” 

It was easy to see how much Arlong hated that you knew how to cure a disease that killed fishmen like wildfire. A human. You bargained his men’s life for the life of your Captain and that seemed fair. 

“Don’t do this, Doc.” 

“I’m sorry, Luffy. I have to.”

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d failed Zoro somehow. You wouldn’t fail Luffy too. 

Arlong took all of a second to consider your offer. He showed you he accepted it by dropping a very weak Luffy back onto the safety of the dock. 

“I accept your bargain, human. Welcome to the Arlong Pirates.”

_________

As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

_________

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