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A Story Summery Is Not A Tumblr Post. It Is The Hook You Use To Draw People In. It Is The Literary Equivalent
A story summery is not a tumblr post. It is the hook you use to draw people in. It is the literary equivalent to a movie trailer. So when you write it, for the love of what you hold sacred, don’t put it together like a discord post on a 2 am bender. You just compressed a timeline that spans whatever length of time into a few thousand words. You can do this.
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Yes please.
Ok, listen up movie and tv people.
What we need 0 of: sexy Dracula, Mina as Drac’s reincarnated lover, Lucy being blamed for her murder because she’s ‘too sexy’ and ‘she wanted it’, blatant Jonathan erasure, blatant Quincey erasure.
What we need 100 of: the Harker Supernatural Detective Agency.
Starring:
Mina ‘I’ve got a typewriter and now that’s you’re problem’ Harker, following the paper trail of every monster that dares to step into her country.
Jonathan ‘Everyone I’ve ever met is my friend’ Harker, buying beers and chatting with all the witnesses to gather up more clues.
Dr. Jack ‘I’m supposed to be the smart one but I’m weirdly good at break-in’s’ Seward, the one who can do whatever science /technology/ B&E that is needed but loses his glasses when they’re on his head.
Lord Godalming, Arthur ‘The Bankroller’ Holmwood, giving them the funds to travel, send wordy telegrams, and buy sexy new all-black vampire-killing outfits each episode.
Quincey ‘The Muscle’ Morris, here to politely tip his hat at passers by and then pop into an alleyway to curb stomp Jack the Ripper or something.
Lucy ‘Everyone would die for her, how does she always end up in these messes’ Westenra, who is the sweet and beloved friend of everyone in this office but somehow remains blissfully unaware of the supernatural nature despite being targeted by nearly every monster of the week.
Guest Starring Prof/Dr/Esq Van Helsing (his title changes every appearance) who rushes in to lore drop and dunk on Seward, smile lovingly at Lucy, then rushes back off to Amsterdam.
And if it absolutely has to have a reincarnated character, then it’s not Mina; Van Helsing is the reincarnation of Dracula’s ex-spouse who constantly rolls in to ruin his plans whenever he shows up.
And Dracula has a mustache, damn it!
I suddenly understand the Discworld’s being unsettled by the Luggage.
Starfish walking on the beach.
In school, I always brought two books. For when I finished the first one.
The reason I like reading a book in one day is because I love watching people look at the size of the book in pure horror and then back at me like I just became terrifying in their eyes
Yeah, I can’t wait for this to come back around with the tax evasion set of this post.
TIL of the “Tiffany Problem”. Tiffany is a medieval name—short for Theophania—from the 12th century. Authors can’t use it in historical or fantasy fiction, however, because the name looks too modern. This is an example of how reality is sometimes too unrealistic.
via reddit.com