Walked Into A Spiderweb Today, Didnt Even Flinch. What Have I Become?

Walked into a spiderweb today, didnt even flinch. What have I become?

5am, afraid and without sleep.

I should've been doing this from the start

Yesterday I yelled.

I didnt kick or scream or cry,

No, the crying came when the consequences caught up to me.

I looked him in his eyes and yelled for him to stop,

For it was all building up to be too much.

Today, he steps quietly around me,

Scared that he might set me off again.

I don't like that taste in my mouth that comes with dominance gained.

Candied Glass

Today I ran into your arms crying,  Said I needed to feel wanted. Tonight we talked for hours,  Time passing as if it were candied.  My mistakes and fear, All but forgotten.

but What about after I leave?  When I’m still awake and you’re asleep?  What about tomorrow? When I remember everything I was worried about? What about next week? When I long so deeply for you again?  I can never ask for your affection,  I can only beg for it.  You seem so far above me,  Something priceless I’m not allowed to touch. or Something so fragile, Something I’m just too scared to break.

Sometimes I worry that you’ll shatter, Like colorful candied glass. Beautiful and delicate,  Too good for a brute like me. 

Gonna read Lord of the Flies again so I can relive my trauma