Be With You

Be With You

seonghwa x reader

basically king's-right-hand!seonghwa x spy-thought-traitor!reader idk what to call it im sorry

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, violence warning, traumatic flashbacks warning

word count: 23k

synopsis: you encounter seonghwa on the road in your homeland eden when you finally escape imprisonment in utopia, sent as a defector when in reality your king betrayed you, his most loyal intelligence agent, and tainted your name in order to wage war on utopia. you save seonghwa's life and learn that he works in the castle and plan to use him to get to the castle and save your sister who is imprisoned there as leverage over you. however, you and seonghwa fall for each other despite the truth you so clearly hide. would he stay loyal to the king once he learns the truth and kill you? would he truly think you used and betrayed him? or would he join sides with you and clear your name?

Your legs and lungs were burning from running for miles now.

You had no time to catch your breath, and how could you, when you had trespassed into your own homeland and your own people who once looked at you as a beacon of hope now thought of you as the reason for their misfortunes?

Finding a good cover under a fallen tree, you slid under the branches, not minding the sharp edges digging into your skin. You wrapped the bandages around your hands tighter, ready for a fistfight if the situation called for it, but you were going to rely on your daggers for the most part of it. You heard the faint sound of careful footsteps- you were sure it was the guards from the border- they must have followed you. That meant that your identity was exposed. Taking a few deep breaths, you gripped daggers in both your hands, and as soon as one of the men jumped in front of you- unaware of your presence, you sliced his calves, earning a yelp of pain and you made your way to the next cover of trees, narrowly dodging arrows. You ran almost a mile before you noticed something strange-

There were two sets of bows being used- they were different in built and colour. That meant…

There was someone else being chased as well.

Before you could think of creating confusion and leading both the parties in the possible suspect's direction, you felt strong hands grip your arm and cover your mouth, a low whisper in your ear telling you to shut up and freeze if you wanted to live.

You didn't protest- you were at a disadvantage. You could feel the man's hard built against your back, the hilts of his daggers digging into your back. You waited till the passage was clear.

"Follow me- we're both being chased so I think it's better if we stick together for now."

A subtle nod from you gave you your freedom and you gasped for air before running along silently with him, his hood drawn over most of his face. His hands guided you along his path and you followed- you'd follow for now but you would attack at the slightest suspicious move from him.

"There!" Someone yelled and you both cursed before he took your hand and started running, surprised to find you matching his pace. You were out of your own arrows so you borrowed one from his quiver, successfully targeting the man closest to you. He was just going to comment on it when you spotted an arrow aiming for him and a reflexive push from you saved his heart but not his shoulder. He winced in pain, tripping on his feet and you took the chance to take more arrows out of his quiver and shoot them on anyone nearby.

"Hey, get up, we don't have time for this," you shot another arrow, glancing at him.

"Give me a second," he groaned, getting up and the hood fell from his face, revealing dark tendrils of hair matted to his forehead.

"How many are after you?"

"Just a few," he loaded his own bow with some effort and covered your back, shooting. "You?"

"Just a few," you grinned, "Think we have enough arrows?"

Which was how the two of you ended up shooting everyone, mostly just injured while some may have died. You finally turned, looking up at the tall and very-

Very handsome man in front of you, his sharp features highlighted in the dim rays of sun that fell on your faces. You whistled, "Who are you?"

"Who are you?" He countered, scanning you, "And why are there so many guards after you? Aren't they from the border?"

You made a quick decision to lie, "They caught me trying to cross the border," you said, when in reality, the opposite had happened- you entered here. "You?"

"Just a guard at the castle," he ran his eyes across the field for any signs of more men after you, "You must have had good training if you can fight assassins."

Ah. He must have an important post at the castle if there were assassins after him. Or… "You killed someone?"

He looked at you, "Didn't we both?"

You shrugged, wincing at the sight of the arrow sticking out from his shoulder. "You might want to get that out."

"Do I now?" He sighed, slumping on the ground and resting his back on a tree trunk, "It's poisoned. As soon as you take it out, it is going to spread."

You scoffed, "And you'll die?"

He raised a brow and you shook your head, throwing your bag with his and sitting across him. "I can help with that. I am a, you could say… expert. Poison expert. I just need to see it first."

He narrowed his eyes at you, "That's gonna earn my trust real quick."

"Would you rather walk around with an arrow sticking out of you? If so, be my guest-"

"Okay. Okay, I'll trust you this once. Since the worst that could happen is death, which is gonna happen either way…" he made a pained face, "I suppose you could have a look."

"What do I get in return?"

He scoffed loud enough to wake the dead, shaking his head, "I should have seen this coming. What do you want?"

"I'll call the favour when I need it," you decided, gesturing to him to unhook his cloak. He did so with a grunt, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal-

"Ah…" you shook your head at the already purplish tint his skin was beginning to take. "We might wanna find cover first before I gather some ingredients, let me just-" you leaned forward, sniffing the wound twice and nodding, ignoring his surprised face, "Someone really meant to kill you, Mr…"

"Park Seonghwa," he muttered, getting up with a huff, "Might as well know since it looks like I'm living my last moments-"

"Easy, easy," you caught him before he fell, "Dizziness is the first symptom of Rose."

"Rose?"

You tsk-ed at his frown, "It's what I named the poison. The deadliest of the poisons but the loveliest smell, like a rose."

"And what's the real name?"

"That I do not care to remember," you helped him walk, taking cover in the thickness of the trees. It was getting dark and you needed to make a tent, and then there was this problem.

You should have run away in the first place.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I could have taken care of this, but…"

"Don't speak right now," you warned, helping him lie down. You scrambled through your pouch and took out a few different vials, mixing the right amounts of chemicals and then adding a herb you found on your way for extra measure. Seonghwa watched you with interest, noticing how quick you worked. In a matter of minutes you had everything ready.

"This is gonna hurt, so take this," you gave him a piece of leather to chew on.

"I'm used to the pain," he shrugged.

"I'm sure you are," you challenged, "but if you haven't been hit by this poison before? You're not ready. Trust me."

Sighing, he put the leather in his mouth and you, without hesitation, took the arrow out swiftly, earning a very loud moan of pain. You put one hand on his mouth to shut him up and used the other hand to put the bandage soaked with the antidote on his wound. You waited till he stopped screaming to take off your hand and then you made him drink three drops of the same antidote, which he swallowed with immense struggle due to its extremely bitter taste.

"What were you thinking when you named this poison rose?" He groaned, shaking his head.

You ignored him, "It's going to take you a while to heal. Do you have a companion with you or were you on this journey alone?"

"Alone," he confirmed.

You nodded, telling him to stay upright and you searched your bag for food. The fruits in his bag were enough for dinner. You were far too exhausted to go hunt for meat.

And he noticed. As you lit a fire, fixing your tent, his gaze followed you, taking note of your movements. He wondered who you were, and curiosity took the better of him when you sat down in front of the fire, eating apples.

"What's your name?"

You glanced at him- you'd never tell anyone your name.

"You're not going to tell me your real name, are you?" He laughed a little, "So what do I call you?"

"Let's see…" you glanced at the sky, "How about… Chaewol? Similar to your name, isn't it?"

"Bright moon… fair enough," he nodded, "So. Who are you? What led you to try and cross the border into the enemy nation?"

You smirked, "Come on, you think I'll tell you when you're one of the king's dogs?" He looked thoroughly offended at that and you continued, "I mean that with no disrespect to you, by the way. Just that you serve that man so I'll be at a disadvantage to tell you."

Seonghwa nodded, “I understand.”

Something about the way he said that made you wonder if he was actually just ‘one of the guards’ as well. Had he lied to you too? You watched him wipe his hands with a kerchief, noticing how he was well mannered.

There was no way he was ‘just’ a guard. You smiled to yourself and he caught that, asking you what was so funny.

“Nothing,” you stifled your grin, “You’re quite well mannered.”

“Am I?” He shifted, “You’re quite educated- and quick..”

“Hmm, poisons? Survival skills are necessary for anyone, don’t you think?”

“I haven’t really seen many women in that department, which is why I pointed it out,” he scanned your face. "You're from here, right?"

"Of course I am," you nodded.

"Why were you trying to trespass to Utopia?"

You sighed, poking the burning woods with a stick, "Eden hasn't been so kind to me."

"Are you one of the rebels?"

You scoffed at that. "If I was, Mr. Park Seonghwa Who Works For The King, I would have made sure the poison did its work."

Seonghwa chuckled deeply, shaking his head. "I just thought you might be, since you seem to have a problem with the King. My apologies."

"You don't have to be a rebel to have a problem with your king," you smiled knowingly at him, "You might have a problem with your king too, as little or insignificant as it may seem. Isn't that so?"

Seonghwa thought for a second before nodding, "You're right. I was quick to make assumptions. I'm usually not like this," he shifted in his position again to make himself more comfortable.

"Must be the poison," you muttered, the amusement in your voice making him smile to himself.

When he finally fell asleep, you cursed yourself deeply. You cursed the king he served and you cursed yourself again for getting comfortable with the man who served the person you hated most in this world.

To be fair, Seonghwa wasn't to blame. But you…

You were on a mission. And you'd do anything to make sure everything happens smoothly. You'd use Seonghwa as long as you could. Now that you were finally in your homeland Eden after two years of imprisonment in Utopia, you needed to find your sister. But first…

You'd make the King face his judgement.

You looked at Seonghwa… he could be the means to get to the castle undetected. No one would recognise you anymore. Everyone had forgotten you.

Once known as Eden's Hope… you were just a defector now.

The bitter taste on your tongue at the old memories made it hard to sleep that night.

—----------------

The smell of something burning woke Seonghwa up, blinking several times to adjust to the bright light now that his arm was away from his face. He glanced around and finally found the source which was you, roasting what looked like some sort of a vegetable on the fire.

Seonghwa took a few moments to recall the events of the previous evening. He had been travelling back from his parent’s home back to the castle- it was both a relief and a pain that the castle and his parent’s home were at the opposite ends of Eden. For some reason, his parents always liked the fact that they lived so far away from the castle, even though it meant they would not get to see their son more often. For their privacy and relief, Seonghwa travelled unnoticed whenever he visited them.

“There are just some things you’ll never understand, son,” his father used to say, “The castle and those who dwell keep rotting in their soul with every passing day.”

Seonghwa really did not understand. The people who lived in the castle weren’t all that bad. The King… majority of the public had a problem with him but since Seonghwa was the King’s Right Hand, he could understand that every action, every step that the king took had to do with the eventual greater good- something the public couldn’t understand well.

And perhaps you were one of them too. Seonghwa wondered why you hated the King- it was painfully obvious on your otherwise emotionless face- and he got that from just one meeting.

He also wondered how he had missed how frail you looked- as if you had been starving for a while now. There was no way you were that quick both mentally and physically while you looked like a sick kid. Perhaps it hadn’t always been like that for you-

Seonghwa didn’t realise he had been staring until you clicked your fingers when you spotted his eyes on you. “Done staring?”

“Sorry,” he groaned as he tried to move, finding his arm very numb and sudden panic overtook him as he got up abruptly and tried to shake it-

“Don’t worry, the numbness will fade with time,” you took a bite of the potato you had been roasting.

Seonghwa visibly relaxed and you shook your head. You roasted the rest of the potatoes while he went to clean himself up first. He settled down in front of you after that, changed and looking paler than before. You offered him some and he glanced at you before he took a bite, making a face. “I wish we had some seasoning.”

“Be grateful you have something to eat other than what you have in your bag.”

“I lost most of my food it seems,” he shook his head.

“Why were you being chased in the first place?” You asked. He hadn’t really given an answer earlier.

“Let’s just say they found out who I was. We’re not on good terms.”

So he was staying tight-lipped. You whistled, “Do you think you’ll encounter more of them on our way? Because we need to be prepared if we do-”

“What about you?” He scanned you again- it looked like a habit of his, “Do you think those ‘guards from the border’ will come after you again?”

You scoffed, “Sarcasm noted. I think they won’t, because they don’t know who I am. They don’t recognise me. On the other hand, you…” You purposely let your eyes travel all over him rather slowly, “look very recognisable, Mr. Park Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa tried stifling his smile, “I guess we’ll just have to be careful then.”

“Ah, so you’re used to it,” you nodded, blowing on the fire and taking Seonghwa by surprise- you were quick. You knew more than you were letting on. “Where are we headed?”

“We?”

“In case you forgot,” you raised a brow, “you owe me your life.”

“So you want to accompany me back to the castle?”

“I guess I can tag along,” you put your hands over your hips as you looked into the distance, “You see, I was… away for a while. I need to catch up on Eden’s politics, and you seem like you’ll know more than the average person since you know, you’re… just a guard at the castle.”

Seonghwa’s smirk changed into a smile of disbelief. “So you’ve been ‘away’? Where, if I might ask?”

“Ah, you don’t need to know,” you waved a hand in dismissal. “You’re making me recall the incredibly boring time I spent in Mist Island.”

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, “I’m sure you must know much about Eden’s politics then. Mist Island loves to gossip about us.”

“Gossip is not reliable though, is it?” You pointed out and Seonghwa nodded- that was true.

Packing your stuff, you and Seonghwa started walking along the stream. You let him guide the way, getting lost in how real the sounds of nature sounded- unlike anything you tried imagining when you were hanging between life and death in the prison in Utopia not long ago. You shook your head and Seonghwa turned, scanning your face.

“Did Mist Island starve you? Now that you don’t have so many clothes on…”

“Let’s say I had trouble eating,” you muttered.

“So why are you trying to enter Utopia illegally?” He asked after a moment, “Why not travel properly?”

“I can’t bother with all the paperwork, and the purpose for which I’m going to Utopia…” you sighed, wondering if you were making the right call twisting the story for him- perhaps you could play with the pity element now, “Utopia has my sister. They took her without a reason, back when things weren’t so good between Eden and Utopia. You know they can be barbarians at times.”

Seonghwa paused for a moment before resuming his walk, trying to find the words- he couldn’t imagine the desperation you must have been feeling if you risked trespassing into Utopia for your sister, even after so long- it meant this wasn’t the first time you tried. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I have to say that it’s risky enough to trespass to save her as well.”

“I know, but it’s the only option I have left,” you put emphasis on ‘left’, making him wonder just how much you must have tried, “I went to Mist Island to catch up on my training and learn how I could save her.” Lies. You’d been in prison, stretching your limbs to the extremes and using the chains to work out when no one was looking. You’d been absorbing every ounce of information you could hear.

But Seonghwa did not need to know that.

“It’s definitely not the only option, and seeing how you almost got caught, I’d say you’ll have to think of other ways. Perhaps a more legal one, or perhaps…”

“Go on.”

Seonghwa gave you the side-eye, “I’m not spilling. Figure it out yourself.”

“How useless,” you muttered, “I saved your life, Seonghwa. I think I should call this favour instead-”

“It’s easy enough, perhaps you’ve thought of it but dismissed it as too much paperwork,” Seonghwa was smiling, glancing at you once before turning back to the road, “Come on. Haven’t you thought about wearing a disguise?”

You smirked, “What makes you think I’m not wearing one right now?”

Seonghwa stopped altogether as he looked at you and you rolled your eyes- he was too gullible- but you hadn’t been lying. “Come on. You’re wearing a disguise too.”

“Oh. Right,” he shook his head as he resumed walking, “You know, you have a way with words. You make me more confused than any one has in my life, and it hasn’t even been a day.”

“That means I’m doing a good job,” you smiled to yourself.

“See?” He scoffed, “You did it again.”

“Anyways,” you waved a hand in dismissal, “Disguise. I suppose it could work. And once I enter Utopia… What do you suggest I do? I heard from an acquaintance that she’s being held in the castle dungeons.”

“Your ‘acquaintance’ should have done something about it, shouldn’t he?”

You narrowed your eyes- it looked like Seonghwa wasn’t completely buying your story. “That acquaintance is dead now because he tried so.”

Seonghwa bit the inside of his cheek, “I’m sorry to hear that. Well… I suppose to get into the castle, you should either have an army or you should be able to walk in broad daylight without being suspected.”

“How do you suppose I could do that?”

“Let’s see…” he kicked a stone in his way as he thought about it, “You could befriend someone and earn their trust. You could use someone, threaten them, whatever works better. Or…”

“I know what you’re thinking,” you commented on the way he was looking at you, “You think I can make it with a little help- you think I can survive going in and out of the castle.”

“You’re well trained, that’s all I’m saying,” he sighed, “I can’t believe I’m giving ideas about trespassing when I’m a freaking guard.”

“How ironic,” you laughed a little, “Are we going to march to the castle too or are you getting us a horse?”

He told you he was going to the stables without you telling him to, though you suspected he would have walked all the way to the castle if he could- he was very determined to walk and not grab on to you for support or slow down when a wave of dizziness would hit him. After lunch at an inn, you stood in front of the single horse he had left here earlier.

“I’m not buying or renting another horse, I don’t have enough money,” Seonghwa got up on the horse, resting his head down for a few moments before straightening- he was going to catch a fever at this rate and that would be bad for the both of you.

“That’s not why I’m sulking,” you muttered, “You have to take me to the castle.”

“I am taking you to the castle- not inside, of course, let’s be clear on that. I’ll just be dropping you off in the town.”

“Whatever. The problem is that you are gonna catch a fever by tonight and I’m done playing nurse. So why don’t you rest tonight and not catch a fever so we can move early tomorrow?”

“It’s too risky staying here. There are a lot of rebels here, and I’m sure they’ve spotted me by now, so hop on.”

You bit your lip- your goal was to keep Seonghwa alive so he could take you to the castle. You needed to get inside, and with the way things were going, you were sure he’d be calling you a ‘friend’ in no time and would actually let you inside the castle.

And then you’d have to get rid of him.

But the way he was extending his hand, his cheeks flush… he was a good soul. It was a pity things had to be this way.

—------------------

“Do not fall down, I cannot pick you up, you weigh a ton!” You scolded Seonghwa, grabbing his hands and locking them around your waist, his head resting against your back and you sighed, taking control of the horse.

Seonghwa had been stubborn enough that he insisted on travelling throughout the night, but he ended up catching a fever earlier than you thought. You noticed when you felt his breaths getting uneven and you touched his hand that was on your side, holding the reins, to find it burning hot.

You immediately took the reins from him which was when he gave up and rested his head on your back, sighing. “I think we should stop.”

“You think?” You scoffed, “When’s the nearest town? I need supplies for your medicine- normal medicines won’t work on you anymore.”

“Half an hour,” his grip around your waist tightened as if he was afraid of falling down, “Wake me up when we get there.”

“No, you cannot sleep. You might not wake up,” you stopped the horse, turning to face him, holding his face in your hands and pushing his hair away, slapping his cheeks lightly to make him open his eyes. “You need to keep talking, Seonghwa. You cannot sleep.”

“Okay, I understand,” he nodded, “Let’s go.”

You resumed the horse ride and Seonghwa went back to his position. You squeezed his hand once, “Tell me about something- your childhood, your dreams, anything.”

“Well,” his voice was weak but he cleared his throat- he would try, “I never thought I’d end up in the castle- at my post, of all things.”

“What exactly about your post was so unimaginable?”

You could feel him smile against your back, “I’m still fully conscious, Chaewol, I’m not spilling.”

You scoffed but couldn’t help but smile at that. “Well, go on then. Keep talking. Maybe I’ll actually learn a thing or two.”

Seonghwa sighed, “I miss my home. I miss the farm. I miss being carefree- but then again, that was 20 some years ago. I think I just miss being… free.”

“You are a free man, Seonghwa,” your voice was hard as memories made way, “Remember that as long as you are not chained in the dungeons for a crime you didn’t do, you are free.”

Seonghwa was silent for a moment. “And if I actually did a crime?”

“Then you brought it upon yourself. Then you deserve every part of it.”

“Makes sense,” he nodded, “I am free… that’s true. But sometimes, you’re captive to the responsibilities and the burden on your shoulders.”

“The poison’s making you poetic, Seonghwa.”

“And what makes you think I’m not poetic otherwise?”

“Ah,” you smirked, “Is that so?”

Seonghwa adjusted himself, straightening and putting his chin on your shoulder. You were caught by surprise and a sudden fear-

“Is it okay if I sit like this? Because I think I’m gonna fall anytime soon.”

His voice was so cautious and hesitant that it made your heart melt a little. You shut your eyes for a second, getting rid of the thoughts and looked down at his hands hovering in the air. You took them and wrapped them around your waist. “Thank you for asking.”

Seonghwa was silent for a few moments and you almost thought he’d fallen asleep until you felt his fingers caress your waist a little, “You’re all bones, Chaewol.” You didn’t reply and he took that as an answer, “I’m going to make sure you look like a pig by the time we reach the Capital.”

It was the first time in more than two years that you burst out with laughter, utterly surprised at your own outburst which made you laugh harder. You could feel Seonghwa shaking his head slightly. "You have a cute laugh."

"Shut up, Seonghwa," your cheeks were flushed.

"I thought I needed to keep talking."

"I think I changed my mind," you announced and he shook with laughter.

"Well…" Seonghwa began, "Can you tell me about your life then?"

"That's a big no," you sighed, "you should be doing the talking."

"Okay, I'll ask you something," he decided.

"Don't ask something weird," you muttered.

"What do you want to do after you get your sister back?"

For a moment you were back to being 16, chasing after your sister in the field of flowers that your grandparents owned, her laugh filling your head before Seonghwa's uneven breath against your neck brought you back to the present.

"I… I never thought about it," you admitted. It was probably the first truth you were revealing to Seonghwa about yourself. "I think a more pressing concern is whether she's… alive."

"She must be," Seonghwa mumbled, "I mean… you would have known in your heart if something happened, wouldn't you?"

You let out a short laugh, "I don't think my heart was in the state to "know" in the past two years."

As soon as you said that, you knew Seonghwa had a way with himself and his words… he was unintentionally going to make you reveal things you didn't want to tell anyone. "What happened, Chaewol?"

The sight of the faint lights of the town approaching made you sigh with relief. "We're here. I think I should take us to buy the supplies first."

On your order, Seonghwa told you about the town and gave you directions to the supplies shop, where you bought what you needed. You tied your horse and helped Seonghwa down, having to drag him all the way to the room, where you dumped him on the bed. His face was red and covered in sweat. You immediately ran a bucket of cold water and started cleaning the wound, ordering him to clean his face with a towel- something to keep him busy and working. You blended the mix of supplies into a thick paste and applied it on the very angry wound, earning a shriek from him.

"The more it hurts, the better it is," you smiled.

"You love seeing me in pain, don't you?" Seonghwa sighed, finishing cleaning his face and running his hand through his hair repeatedly until it was swept back.

"I'm going to bring us dinner," you got up, "I'll give you a riddle to solve while I'm away."

"Oh please," he grimaced, "I won't fall asleep."

"Imagine that you are… a spy," you grinned at him and he shook his head in amusement.

"You have a wild imagination."

"It gets wilder," you looked at him. "You're a spy for your nation. Suppose you have to do something for your nation that… let's say, might prevent war."

"Sounds like a novel I once read."

"Maybe it is," you smiled knowingly, "Suppose your king wants war but you have the information that could bring peace. What should your king do, in that case?"

"Obviously prefer peace?"

You walked to the door, "But your king wants war. And you… you decide to take matters into your own hands. You succeed. But now… the king must decide whether your act was heroic or not- admitting that it was would make him seem small. Complete the story while I'm away."

With that, you left, taking a few moments for yourself, reminding yourself that whatever his answer was, you could not judge him on that- because it was always different when you were the one actually making the decision.

Not that it justified anything that your own King had done to you, his most devoted spy.

When you returned with soap, stew and loaves of bread for dinner, you almost panicked when you saw Seonghwa's eyes shut. But he opened one eye to look at you when you placed the tray on the table.

"I almost didn't hear you."

"I almost thought you died or something," you muttered, putting a hand on your heart in relief, "Come on now. Get up."

Seonghwa was staring at you as if waiting for something and you raised your brows. "Aren't you going to help me up?"

"No," you sat down on the chair, "I'd love to see you struggle."

Seonghwa grimaced, "I don't think I can get up."

"You can," you told him, taking a bite of the bread, "Come on. I'm not spoon feeding you."

Seonghwa laughed a little before getting up with enormous effort, "I would have liked that."

"I'm sure you would have," you were amused. "Eat your fill and go to sleep."

The two of you ate in silence- partly because Seonghwa was still busy thinking about an answer and mostly because you two were starving, to put it simply. You haven't had a proper meal in years now and the taste of the buttery bread, the rich flavours of the stew overflowing in your mouth… you had to wipe your eyes a few times in the middle of eating and Seonghwa noticed but you couldn’t care less.

You licked your fingers clean, “I’m never taking food for granted again. Ever.”

Seonghwa nodded- he could understand, though not quite to that degree that you felt. He, too, felt overwhelmed when he’d go back to the castle after days on the road, the flavourful food of the castle tasting like something out of heaven sometimes.

You were just gathering the dishes when Seonghwa cleared his throat, “The king wants war… obviously the people never want war. The king is supposed to please his people, but the spy ended up going against the king to do that. That’s quite the predicament.”

“It is,” your mouth was set in a straight line, “What do you think?”

“I think personal ego and such feelings should be put aside when it comes to the bigger picture. War should never be the answer- it should be the last of the last resorts. Wanting war just to satisfy your own thirst… that’s unfair to the people, isn’t it?”

You tsk-ed. “That’s the problem with people like you, Seonghwa.”

“People like me?”

“People who are too kind at heart,” you shook your head, “The spy ended up acting of his or her own accord, treading on such fragile lines. A simple spy shouldn’t have the audacity to think they have any right to go against their ruler.”

“I beg to differ,” he smiled, “Such a person who puts the greater good above all, who sees the fault in their ruler… deserves to be a ruler themself. Deserves more than they can imagine.”

You paused, looking at Seonghwa, wondering why you had never thought of yourself that way.

If you were honest with yourself, you blamed yourself for what happened two years ago- at least partly. You shouldn't have taken such great steps without the consent of your king- even if it could save hundreds and thousands of lives. You had no right, you used to chant to yourself when your king got you shipped to the enemy nation and you were chained in the royal dungeons.

"Are you okay?" Seonghwa frowned and it was only then that you realised your hand had been trembling.

"Just tired," you said dismissively. "Interesting answer, by the way. You… have a kind and interesting mind, Mr. Park Seonghwa."

"I… thank you."

You raised a brow in amusement and he shook his head, "I've heard a lot of compliments, but this one hit differently for some reason."

You grinned, "Don't let it get inside that pretty little head."

Seonghwa gaped at you, "It's as if you knew I got that the most."

"I can clearly see why," you poked his shoulder until he got up and made him lie in bed as you took the seat next to the window.

"Are you not gonna sleep?"

"Night watch,” you muttered, “It’s okay. I can’t let you die in your sleep now, can I?”

“When do you even sleep? I don’t think you’ve had a wink of sleep since a day ago.”

“I’m used to it,” you waved a hand in dismissal, “If things seem good, I might get some sleep.”

Seonghwa shook his head, drawing the covers upon himself, too tired to argue and immediately falling asleep. You waited until he was fully asleep before you went to check his bag. You needed to get a clue about his identity because with every passing moment, it felt like he worked inside the castle rather than outside, which meant that you would get access to the castle too.

There was nothing in his bag except his personal belongings and you placed it back exactly as he’d put it, sighing as you looked out at the full moon. You needed to make sure that Seonghwa would make it tomorrow, that he would wake up, not because you didn’t want someone dying because you couldn’t take proper care of them (not that he was your responsibility, of course) but because if things went well, he’d wake up saying that he owed you his life. You two would become friends. He’d welcome you as a guest inside the castle.

And then you’ll only need to find where they kept your sister- in the castle dungeons or somewhere else entirely.

Seonghwa did exactly that, waking up the next morning to find you sleeping on the chair, smiling to himself before he cleared his throat and you opened one eye, which scared him a little. “Were you asleep?”

“Sadly, yes,” you rubbed your eyes.

“That’s quite a light sleeper you are,” he raised a brow in question, wondering just who you were- everything about you screamed something professional and dangerous, but then… “I think I owe you my life.”

“You think?” You smiled.

There it was. That hesitant smile of yours, your bony stature from lack of food and sleep… and your kind heart, because you could have left him to die. You could have killed him the very second he’d put a hand on your mouth when you were being chased- but you didn’t. It made Seonghwa reconsider everything.

Seonghwa stopped staring at you and cleared his throat again, flexing his hurt arm a little, “I think I’m good now.”

“Let me see,” you walked towards him and drew his shirt back a little- the wound was no longer a sickly colour. You nodded, “You were very lucky.”

“Are you a doctor?” Seonghwa frowned, “Is that why you know so much about poisons? But then… doctors usually aren’t such excellent fighters.”

You locked eyes with him, scoffing at the unhidden curiosity in his eyes, “How about assassin?”

“No, you couldn’t be,” Seonghwa laughed as he shook his head, and then paused abruptly, looking at you wide-eyed, “Unless…”

“I’m not,” you laughed, “Not as good as your average assassin, but good enough to look after myself.”

“Ah… you must belong to a well-known family if you have such education and training.”

“Let’s see… My parents ran a bakery. They died in an accident some years ago. So… not really.” It was the truth. Seonghwa frowned, wondering what else could you be and you came back after washing your face, “Let’s stop asking each other about our lives, Seonghwa. I really don’t have much to tell except a rather tragic tale.”

“I’ll make you spill everything one day yourself, just you wait,” he said in a friendly tone and you raised a brow.

“Does that mean we’re sticking together after all?”

“Didn’t you want to go to the Capital?” He asked and you smiled slowly, nodding.

“Maybe you can take me to the castle too. As your guest. I’d love to see the castle.”

“Don’t you have a problem with the king though?”

You scoffed, “It’s not like I’m gonna kill him in his sleep.”

He laughed, “Okay, I’ll think about it. Maybe if I trust you enough, I might actually take you to the castle with me.”

With that, he went to wash up, leaving you wondering just how this ‘trust’ thing would work with him. “I saved his goddamn life and he doesn’t even trust me,” you muttered to yourself, sulking in the chair until he came back with breakfast, urging you to join him. Seonghwa told you about the route he was taking and you mentioned the detours you’d have to make, planning the journey as you ate your fill.

“Why do you have to make so many stops?” Seonghwa finally asked as you finished eating.

“I need to meet some people and let them know I’m alive,” you looked grim. “I haven’t really shown my face around here in more than 2 years.”

Seonghwa frowned in confusion, “When did you come back from… Mist Island?”

“A few days ago,” you said, casually packing your stuff, “I don’t have a home here, in case you’re wondering. Not anymore.”

“And why is that?”

“You have a lot of questions,” you smiled at him, “I guess you could call my parent’s house my home- though it belongs to my sister, who’s been missing for two years too. I don’t know what’s become of the place.”

“Is it near? Are you making a stop there too? Because I think you should. Maybe your sister is back and waiting for you there.”

Now that was a possibility that had been nagging at you all those years in imprisonment in Utopia- if your sister was truly living a normal life. The last you’d seen of her was her being dragged half unconscious into the prison which finally made you surrender- that was how you ended up in Utopia. You couldn’t risk your sister’s life. If you rebelled, they would kill her.

Had Eden’s king done that only to get you imprisoned?

“Hello? Are you still here?”

You shook your head at Seonghwa, “That’s a possibility I’ve thought of and the one I’m most afraid of.”

Another truth. Seonghwa nodded, understanding where you were coming from. “Well, no harm in checking. Let’s move.”

—------------------

The first stop you made on your way to the Capital was in a village north-west from where you started- the village where the one person you despised the most (after the King, of course) resided.

“So you’re telling me,” Seonghwa caught up with you as he looked at you in disbelief, “that we climbed this hill only to meet your enemy?”

“That’s right,” you nodded, “And wrong. We’re not enemies, per se. We’re… rivals,” you grinned. “We go a long way back, and if there’s one person I can trust with obtaining information… it’s him.”

Seonghwa laughed at the grimace on your face as you said that, “It looks like it physically hurt you to say that.”

“Do not tell him I said that- it’ll only boost his ego,” you shook your head, “Also… try not to talk to him much. He’s kind of loud and… can be a bit too much. Also, do not compliment him in any way- it’ll only boost his already large ego.”

Seonghwa thought that it was because you were rivals that you had all of this to say, but he found out you were right.

He was loud.

And a bit too much as well.

“Well, well, well,” the man- a rather sassy looking person, clapped. “If it isn’t the one person I’ve been dying to see. Did they not feed you in the prison-”

“I am compromised,” you interrupted, hoping he would get what you meant, “Can we talk in private?”

Seonghwa frowned at the two of you- for rivals, it seemed like you two had a lot of understanding. The man looked at him, smiling, “Greetings. I’m Wooyoung. How are you acquainted with…” he looked at you, raising a brow at you- he couldn’t call you by your name-

“Chaewol and I met at the road,” Seonghwa began, “I’m Seonghwa. She saved my life- also… from the look on your face, it looks like Chaewol really isn’t her name. I knew that already, by the way.”

You let out a short laugh and Wooyoung shrugged, “Wooyoung might not be my real name.E He winked. “Let me arrange for your lunch- you must be tired from all the walking,” Wooyoung urged you two to follow him.

“I have to say, you look awfully familiar,” Seonghwa looked at Wooyoung, which made Wooyoung look at you as understanding passed between the two of you.

Seonghwa did work inside the castle- he gave himself away with that one comment. Wooyoung only ever showed his face inside the castle, around the king, which meant Seonghwa must have seen him around there… which meant that he worked around the king too.

“I’m sure you would have remembered such a pretty face if you saw it around,” Wooyoung flipped his hair dramatically.

“And that’s exactly what I meant when I said he can be a bit too much,” you muttered, making Seonghwa and Wooyoung grin.

The three of you made way to the dining table, food arriving shortly after as Seonghwa and Wooyoung talked about this and that while you zoned out, planning out everything from scratch again because Seonghwa actually working around the king changed everything.

You needed to get him to loosen up and take you to the castle.

“So… what name is she going by again?” Wooyoung looked at Seonghwa who gave a pained smile as he told him your ‘name’. “Chaewol. When did you arrive here?”

“A few days ago,” you said casually, nibbling on a lemon tart, “Have you been working recently?”

“I left a few months ago, actually,” he smiled and the tart dropped from your hand.

“You did not!”

“I’m resigning from my profession,” Wooyoung sighed, “This life suits me much better.”

“I thought you ‘lived for the thrill’.”

“There’s enough thrill here.”

The two of you were bickering back and forth when Seonghwa said, “You know, Chaewol mentioned you were ‘rivals’. The way you two quarrel makes me think otherwise.”

“Please, she’s the last person I’d call a friend, much less something more,” Wooyoung sounded disgusted.

“Likewise,” you muttered, “I don’t have all day. I need to talk to you.”

“Fine,” Wooyoung got up. “Seonghwa… the library there might be of interest to you. We’ll be in the gardens.”

Seonghwa nodded and the two of you left first. You glared at him. “Did you have to mention ‘prison’ in front of him?”

Wooyoung looked at you, “Call it concern.”

You sighed, “I need news on the Master.”

The Master being the King- it was necessary that you two talked in code in case you were heard.

“The Master rules over his little playhouse,” Wooyoung sighed, “I have reasons to believe that he is not sane in the head anymore, which is why I politely resigned before I could meet the same fate as yours- and while we’re talking about that… I truly am sorry for the circumstances that came to be.”

You nodded, grim. “I spent two years in imprisonment in our sister land,” you were referring to Utopia, “I need to know the whereabouts of Chaewon.”

“You know, I almost called you Chaewon earlier,” Wooyoung scoffed, “You couldn’t come up with a more similar name as your sister?”

“It’s the only name that comes to my mind anymore,” you sighed, “Now, tell me what you know.”

“Chaewon resides where the Master does…” he ran his hands across the daisies lining the wall, “You’ll need access back. Seems like you have it planned out already.”

“You mean Seonghwa?” You scoffed, “I asked him to take me with him- to the castle.”

“You do know that once you get in, you’ll be in great trouble?”

“I’ll go undetected- nobody’s ever seen me save for the King-”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Wooyoung shook his head, laughing in disbelief, “You don’t know who you’ve ended up with, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Seonghwa… Ask him what he does.”

“I did, but he won’t tell,” you frowned, “I figured something in the castle, but it looks like he works around the King-”

“He’s the King’s Right Hand, dear.”

You were sure all the colour left your face. “What about Yunho?”

“Yunho’s the only one who had the guts to call out the King on his decision regarding you,” Wooyoung was whispering now, “It almost cost him his life. He left.”

“Oh no,” you sighed, “Why haven’t I seen Seonghwa before?”

“He was the Queen’s advisor and you know how little we see her- she was rarely in the Capital as well,” Wooyoung huffed. “What are you going to do? He’ll kill you if he learns who you are.”

“What do I do?” You looked at Wooyoung, “I need him to get inside the castle. He’ll kill me immediately when he learns who I am.”

“Seonghwa’s not like that,” Wooyoung assured you, “He’s… different. He might kill you, yes, but not without hearing you out first. So I guess you might have a shot. Maybe you just need to warm up to him.”

You raised a brow, “What, exactly, are you suggesting?”

“The oldest trick in the book, dear friend,” Wooyoung plucked a daisy and put it in your hair.

Seonghwa watched the rather casual conversation taking place between you two from the huge windows in the library, noticing how for once you weren’t on your guard- and neither was Wooyoung. He scoffed to himself- nothing about the two of you seemed like a rivalry. You two looked like you had history together.

He told you that when the two of you were making way down.

“We go back a long way,” you finally smiled, “We were raised together, you could say. Our relationship is… closer to siblings who are annoyed with each other than anything else.”

“Ah… sounds good,” Seonghwa nodded, “Also… is it a good time to ask about the prison?”

"About time, I suppose," you sighed, "Let's say I got in trouble and ended up in prison for a while."

"I hope it was not a serious crime," Seonghwa looked at you.

You paused. “I was punished for a crime I did not commit."

Seonghwa paused as well, frowning, "You've been wronged?"

"Greatly," you sighed, urging him to continue walking, "And I… I'm tainted, Seonghwa, in the eyes of everyone who knew me and everyone who did not. But I don't care about that. I don't care what the world thinks about me. I only care about making sure my sister is alive because she was a victim of this too. They took her so I would surrender. So now… I have to make sure they only took her for the sake of making me surrender and putting me in prison."

"She could be anywhere, Chaewol," Seonghwa's voice was soft.

"No. I… have her location now. She's where I thought she'd be, but I still need to check our house," you told him.

"So how do you plan on getting to Utopia?" Seonghwa asked, "Your sister's there, right?"

You nodded, feeling guilty for lying so much. Your sister was in Eden, in the castle, and Seonghwa was leading you right to her, but he could never know. "I have a friend in the castle, actually. It's why I asked you to lead me there. He'll know what to do."

"Oh? Who? I might know him."

You took a second wondering if you should tell him. "Hongjoong- he's the Head Healer."

"He's my oldest friend," Seonghwa smiled.

You looked at Seonghwa, the warm smile on his face making his features soften. You smiled back, "He's… an old friend of mine too."

"Ah, now I wonder just who you are."

"Keep wondering, you'll never find out," you teased. Seonghwa passed you a look and you rolled your eyes. "I'm nobody special, Seonghwa. Nobody worthy of knowing. Just a speck of dust in this world."

"I'm also a speck of dust," Seonghwa began, "but that doesn't mean I'm not special to someone. Not worthy of knowing. You must be special to someone. Someone must be special to you. Like your sister?"

"I'm pretty sure she hates me," your tone was bitter, "I'm the reason she hasn't seen daylight in two years."

"She might hate you at times, but you might be the only reason she's hanging on to life too."

You paused.

You fell on your knees as you heard the rattle of chains.

You could hear nothing and see nothing, you only knew pain and-

"Chaewol!"

Seonghwa had to call your name thrice for you to finally look at him, but your lips and hands were trembling uncontrollably and your legs were still weak. Seonghwa was beside you, rubbing your back and you subconsciously hugged yourself, folding in.

“Give me… a moment,” you managed to whisper.

Seonghwa did but he never left your side, caressing your back. It took you a few breaths and pinching your skin to remind yourself that this was not a dream, that this was real. That you were not in the dungeons anymore. Seonghwa noticed the scars on your wrist then.

“You’re right,” you laughed a little as you brought your knees to your chest, “She is the only reason I’m hanging on to life.”

Seonghwa raised a brow at that- he hadn’t thought about this the other way. That you, in prison, had held on to the hope that your sister was okay the entire time.

“If anything has happened to her… if she is no more, I won’t have a reason to be alive anymore.”

“Don’t say that,” Seonghwa was almost scolding you, “There’s more to this world-”

“Not for me,” you laughed as you finally got up, “Not for me, Seonghwa. I have no home anymore. You don’t understand because you don’t know my circumstances, but believe me when I say that I have no home anymore.”

The ride that night was silent as you two sorted your thoughts out. As you camped for the night, Seonghwa insisted that you get some sleep while he take watch. And though you lay in darkness and quiet, you stayed wide awake for the most part of the night.

—--------------

Two uneventful days had passed travelling on his horse and speeding your journey up, trailing a bit to the west so you could lead to your house, when you finally encountered another set of rebels.

“Why is it always you,” you muttered harshly as you pushed Seonghwa against a tree, your eyes scanning around, “who gets me in unnecessary trouble?”

“I mean,” Seonghwa was grinning as he looked down at you, “you could have left. You seem to know your way around well.”

“Let’s just say the lack of human company the past years is making me crave even yours,” you sent a dagger flying and it landed straight in the middle, ridding you of another man. “Cover. Now.”

Seonghwa understood and loaded his bow as he covered your back while you sent daggers, each dagger striking and ending the men. Seonghwa, however, was aiming not for the vital points, unlike you. And he scolded you for killing the men.

“I’m protecting you,” you looked at him in disbelief.

Seonghwa sighed, his heart swelling at the way you said that and looked at him. He told himself that you were only protecting him because he was going to take you to the castle but he couldn’t help but wonder if you really were starting to consider him… a friend.

Or more.

“Cleanse your brain while you’re at it,” you muttered and he laughed out loud at that.

“How did you know what I was thinking?”

You didn’t answer that, instead smiling to yourself and turning your back to him, making sure he wouldn’t see it. You took a deep breath, back to your normal mode and turned to face him. “Why are they still coming after you? Just what have you done? I think it’s about time you tell me.”

“Not unless you tell me why you were in prison and everything else.”

“Ah,” you nodded, “You know, sometimes I really do think we’re warming up to each other. Maybe friends, maybe something else, but starting to mean something to each other. And then you… pull this shit.”

Seonghwa scoffed, “I could say the same. I thought last night might have changed things.”

Last night.

The two of you had been sitting in front of the fire when he told you about how he thought the King really was going on the wrong path. He opened up to you about his concerns about the king, and though he did not tell you what exactly his post was (which you knew already) you could tell that as the King’s Right Hand, he really did care about the King. And that reminded you of yourself because there was once a time when you cared about the King too. When nothing else mattered to you except his approval, his compliments, his complaints.

You told Seonghwa that you understood. That you, too, had a ‘master’ like he had. That you also cared about him deeply until he betrayed you, got you sent to prison using your sister to save his hide. That he had done that only because you had dared to tell him that the decision he made regarding his rivals was wrong and would lead to bloodshed.

“That sounds like the King too,” Seonghwa sighed. “He hasn’t been making the best decisions lately.”

“Now, now,” you elbowed him, “What would the King say if he could hear you now?”

Seonghwa looked at you, grinning, “Off with his head?”

It was the second time he heard you laugh and it sent him in a daze as he brought his hand to your face, about to caress it, pausing when he saw the hesitancy and what looked like fear in your eyes, changing his mind and slapping you lightly instead.

“You laugh like you’re choking to death.”

And that had ended with him clutching his wrist and half laughing, half crying in pain.

“Why would last night change anything?” You frowned at him, but the teasing glint in your eyes left him all smiles. You smacked his shoulder, urging him to help you clean up the mess you both had created.

“Make sure there’s no one following us,” you said, “the house is only a few miles away.”

Seonghwa and you started scanning the area and met up back where you had tied the horse, letting each other know that the perimeter was clear. It took you half an hour on the horse when you slowed it down, the farm around it in your vision.

“This is a beautiful place you have,” Seonghwa, who was sitting behind you, said. “Looks an awful lot like my parent’s home.”

“It is…” you took a few deep breaths, unable to move and Seonghwa slid his hands on yours as he held the reins, looking at you. You nodded and he sped the horse up, stopping when you reached the front door.

Seonghwa helped you get down and you took a shaky breath as memories made way. “I… I’m going to tie the horse in the stables. Can you… check the house?”

Seonghwa understood and you went to the back of the house first, picking a pot and digging with your bare hands, sighing in relief when you found the key. You handed it to Seonghwa and went to the stables, where you tied the horse and gave it something to eat, slumping outside next to the wall.

You were home.

After two years in prison, you were home.

It was the first time since you escaped prison that you felt truly alive as tears made their way down your face. You sat there silently crying, not even hearing Seonghwa until he sat down next to you and brought you in for a hug, your face against his chest as your silent crying turned into sobs and even though every nerve in your body screamed at you to not cry in front of him and not give in to his affection, you couldn’t help it- it was the only thing you had. So you cried into his chest while he caressed your back and told you to let it all out.

“Alright, that’s enough now,” he patted your head, “You’re going to run out of tears pretty soon.”

“I did,” you sobbed and he laughed a little as you wiped your face. “I… thank you.”

Seonghwa smiled at you, getting up and offering you his hand and you took it as you got up. He didn’t leave it as he led you inside, squeezing it assuringly.

The damp smell of an unopened house hit you but you noticed Seonghwa had already opened the windows to let in air. You took a look around, sighing half in relief and half in dread. “Everything is exactly how we left it, Seonghwa. Me and… Chaewon.”

“Chaewon…” Seonghwa nodded and couldn’t help but let out a giggle as he shook his head at you, “Now I know how you came up with your name.”

You passed him a guilty smile and let go of his hand to take a look around. The book that Chaewon had last been reading was still open and you sighed as you shut it. You looked at the chair, “This is where Chaewon was last sitting, reading this book when they came- the very people we trusted came so we’d accompany them to the place where we were finally parted.”

Seonghwa frowned as he recalled what you’d told him before- apparently Utopians had taken your sister, but he had a feeling that wasn’t the whole story. He was in no place to pry and the fact that you were opening up to him, even while being cryptic… he put a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll get her back.”

“I’ll get her back,” the smile you gave Seonghwa broke his heart. “You’re going to want to do nothing with me when you learn who I am. Thank you for bringing me home, Seonghwa. I am… in your debt.”

“I thought we were even,” Seonghwa’s smile didn’t meet his eyes.

“I suppose we might be, but you have to admit I have been a pain,” you smiled and he shrugged jokingly. You took a deep breath. “We can stay the night, and… I’m giving you a choice. You can go back to the castle on your own. I’ll find my way there.”

“But we’re both going to the castle, so why not go together?”

“I told you,” you looked out at the sun about to set, the sky a pastel orange. “You don’t want to associate yourself with me, Seonghwa.”

“Why?” Seonghwa took a step towards you, “Why do you think so?”

“Because I’m going to be really heartbroken if we part on bad terms.”

Seonghwa sighed at how it came barely as a whisper. He took your hand, caressing your knuckles before planting a kiss and you sucked your breath at the sensation. He locked eyes with you, “I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what happened, but what I believe is that you really did not commit the crime you were punished for. You are a good person and a good friend.”

You laughed in disbelief, “How?”

He took your other hand too, smiling at your locked hands, “You saved me, took care of me, saved me so many times again, were as honest as you could allow yourself to be… do you think anyone could do that? Not everyone has a heart as good as you. So stop going on about how things could go badly or whatever, because I’m taking you to the castle with me, as your friend.”

It was never your intention to actually befriend Seonghwa. Your heart was never meant to hurt or pull at his words. Like Wooyoung had said, Seonghwa was meant to be a means to get to the castle. But now…

You took your hands away, going to the window and looking out as you calmed your wild heart. “I regret meeting you, Seonghwa. I regret that day. I don’t mean that because you haven’t been good to me. I mean that because…” you looked at him and your eyes were steel, “You are going to regret this moment too. Mark my words.”

Seonghwa frowned in confusion. “Why do you believe yourself to not be worthy of anything good after two years in hell- and I know it’s been hell for you because I’ve seen your face when you think about it. Why do you want to push me away?”

“It’s for your own good!” You almost shouted, fisting your hands to hold yourself back, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t…” Seonghwa walked to you, pushing your hair back as he held your face. “And even if you do…” he smiled as he caressed your cheekbones, “I think it would be worth everything. Because you… you have a heart that I think I’m going to fall in love with.”

It was the first time you truly looked at Seonghwa, not as the King’s Right Hand, not as a ‘tool’ but just… him. Him and his gorgeous black hair that fell on his forehead despite being swept back, him and his sharp eyes that couldn’t be warmer, him and his absolutely beautiful face and heart because he…

“You’re hopeless,” you finally smiled in defeat as your ears turned an embarrassing shade of red, “And you’re too good… for this world.”

“I’m hopeless, yes,” his eyes were dazed and the way he looked at you was so intense that you put a hand on his chest to push him away but he wasn’t having it. Not before he passed you a sultry smile and gave you a long, lingering kiss on your forehead. And then he drew back and went to the kitchen to look for something to cook, leaving you absolutely breathless.

“There’s nothing to eat there, dumbass,” you called when you gained your senses back, “You’re a bad actor.”

He pursed his lips as he turned back to look at you, revealing his flushed cheeks and you scoffed, urging him to come here. “Follow me.”

You took him to the farm at the back of your house, “I think we can cook something decent with what we find here. Some vegetables… I think someone must have been taking care of the farm. Probably… Wooyoung. Or one of the others.”

“Times like these when I really, really wonder just who you are,” Seonghwa muttered, rolling the sleeves of his brown shirt and going inside. You went the other way, and a few minutes later you two were back with what became a decent dinner of potatoes, carrots and a few herbs. You two talked about childhood and farming while you ate, since Seonghwa had also once been living in a farmhouse.

It was about three hours after you parted for sleep that you came downstairs from your room, unable to fall asleep, finding a candle lit in the room that Seonghwa was staying in. You peeked inside and saw him reading the book that Chaewon had been reading last. You whistled and he looked at you, surprised.

“You give me more reasons to believe that you are an assassin everyday,” he said, putting a hand over his heart, “I didn’t even hear you.”

“I told you I’m not an assassin,” you rolled your eyes but felt guilty inside because being a spy was pretty close. “Can I… join you?”

He almost smirked but nodded and you gave him a side-eye as you sat on the chair near him. He waved the book, “It has notes in it, the whole book. I’m assuming you?”

“You’re right.”

“Well,” Seonghwa shrugged, “One more reason to believe you’re an assassin.”

You laughed, poking his leg with your toes, “I’m not. I promise. And Chaewon loved writing, which is why she was always reading my… informative books such as this one. Poisons and antidotes.”

“I have to say, the names you gave must have helped her. Even I, a common man, can now differentiate between a Rose and a Jasmine.”

He was referring to the names you gave to different poisons. You smiled. “What’s the difference in the antidotes?”

“Milk, in Jasmine’s antidote. Because Jasmines are white. That’s a good way to remember, isn’t it?”

“It is,” you grinned, “Even a ‘common man’ like you might remember.”

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you, “Why do I feel like you know something that you’re not telling me?”

“And I always say, trust your gut. You’re probably right,” you were thoroughly amused by Seonghwa’s confusion and he shook his head.

“You’re up late. I thought you’d be sleeping.”

“I couldn’t,” you rubbed your arms, “I can’t help but think of Chaewon. We used to sleep in the same room. She’d always come crawling in my bed whenever I came home, saying she couldn’t sleep without me. I guess now I know what she meant.”

Seonghwa smiled at that, squeezing your hand and pulling at it. “Come here.”

“That’s not what I meant when I told you-”

“I know,” he laughed, pulling you again and scooting a bit so you sat with him on the bed, “And I also know this is exactly what you need to be able to sleep here. We have a long day tomorrow, after all.”

“Seonghwa,” you sighed, “Please-”

“We shared the same tent for days now, this is no different,” he told you as he ruffled the pillows and spread the blanket over you both.

Of course it was different. Sleeping in the tent, staying on your toes even when you were sleeping… it was not the same as being relaxed and sharing a goddamn bed.

“Cleanse your brain,” Seonghwa told you and you threw the book at him, making him laugh out loud. “Come on. I won’t bite.”

“Saying things like that is certainly not helping,” you muttered, lying down and turning your back to him.

“Should I then?” He whispered in your ear and you squealed, swatting him away and opening the drawer, finding a dagger and placing it on the table.

“Try anything else and I slit your throat.”

“Tsk,” Seonghwa scoffed loudly as he blew the candle, the moonlight illuminating the room so you could still see much of everything, “You try anything and I’ll be doing the same. I have my dagger too.”

You turned to look if he was lying- he wasn’t. The shit-eating grin on his face made you roll your eyes but you were smiling when you turned back.

Half an hour later, you were still awake. You finally turned, noticing Seonghwa’s breathing seemed more regular now. You sighed, scooting closer to him so that your face was almost touching his arm. It must have tickled him because he wasn’t fully asleep too, and he opened one eye, turning to you. “You okay?”

“Shh..” you whispered, burying your face in his chest and clutching at his shirt, making his breath hitch, “Don’t say a word. Pretend that you are asleep.”

Seonghwa understood. Perhaps it was the lack of body warmth or touch that made you miss Chaewon so incredibly much tonight. So he put an arm over you as he, too, got comfortable, not saying a word, only kissing your head once and the rhythm of his chest finally put you to sleep.

—---------------

“God must have slipped or something while making you because this is the dumbest thing I’ve seen anyone do in my life. And I’ve met very, very dumb people, Seonghwa.”

“Shh,” Seonghwa ignored you, continuing to collect pebbles from the ground, “It’s to keep you hidden.”

“I told you no one would bat an eye if we go inside-”

“And how would you know that?” Seonghwa looked at you, “You’ve never been in the castle.”

You nodded slowly, figuring you brought this upon yourself. “I just hope this friend of yours has the sense to notice.”

“He will,” Seonghwa assured you and handed you some pebbles, making you follow him to one of the windows that were accessible from outside the castle too. “Now, we throw the pebbles.”

You were tempted to throw him along with the pebbles, but you held yourself back. “Aren’t you ‘just a guard’? What would they say if they saw you throwing pebbles at the library window?”

Seonghwa looked at you, “I guess it’s about time I tell you who I really am. You’re going to find out anyway.”

“Don’t expect me to tell you who I am in return,” you teased.

Seonghwa aimed the first pebble at the window, missing it by an inch. He rubbed his hands, then threw a second one, which hit the window lightly but perhaps not loud enough for his friend to notice. The third one went flying elsewhere.

“Even Chaewon’s got a better aim and she’s nearsighted,” you muttered, taking his hand and shoving the pebbles in them save for two, which you threw together, right in the middle of the window, waiting for a few seconds and you finally saw blonde hair on a pretty face-

Of course it had to be Yeosang.

He perhaps didn’t recognise you because he only waved at Seonghwa and motioned for him to wait, peeking down at the guards, and then urging him to come inside. Seonghwa told you he usually enters from the back door by this method when he goes to visit his parents. You followed him inside, not encountering anyone and waiting by a fountain for Yeosang, during which you became thoroughly anxious because Yeosang knew who you were-

“Seonghwa!” He called and Seonghwa greeted him with a hug, which is when Yeosang scanned you and his eyes widened in recognition. You immediately put a finger to your mouth, shaking your head, urging him to stay quiet. He drew back and Seonghwa looked at you.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m… Chaewol. You are…?”

“I’m… Yeosang,” he looked at Seonghwa and he told him you’d saved his life in the woods.

“Her story is a long one, but she wanted to visit the castle, so I brought her with me as my guest,” he passed you a smile, “Let’s not tell anyone else about her yet.”

“Okay,” Yeosang nodded and you sighed in relief, grateful he wasn’t exposing you right there, “Follow me… Chaewol.”

The two of you followed him to the guest chambers- you were too anxious about Yeosang to really take in the fact that you were finally inside the castle, so close to the man who had destroyed your life. Yeosang led you to one of the rooms. “I hope this is sufficient for you- if you need anything, you can tell me or ask the guards anytime.”

“This is enough, thank you,” you passed him a smile, throwing your bag on the chair.

“Seonghwa,” Yeosang turned, “You’re one day late. The King isn’t the happiest about it.”

You raised a brow at that- you had to pretend you weren’t aware of his position. Seonghwa nodded at you, an indication that he would tell you later. “I should get going. Yeosang, can you arrange for her lunch?”

“Of course, no worries,” Yeosang smiled sweetly and the two of you waited before Seonghwa shut the door and the sounds of his footsteps disappeared, tense and anxious for one of you to make a move-

Yeosang turned and sent a dagger for your heart which you narrowly avoided and aimed one for his head, which he dodged too, but then you pushed him against the door, arm choking him and his hand at your neck, a sharp object digging in your skin.

“I have been betrayed,” you seethed, “Believe me, Yeosang. I never betrayed Eden. I never sided with Utopia.”

“You sold us out!” He nearly yelled, “You sold us out to the enemy nation, do you know how many lives that cost?”

“It wasn’t me,” you cried, “the King- he blamed it on me. Eden’s secrets were never sold out to Utopia. The King came up with this ruse to cover for the bloodshed he is responsible for- the information I had could have prevented this. And then he used my little sister Chaewon to send me to Utopia’s prison as a present, all wrapped up for them,” you nearly spat, “Chaewon’s in here, Yeosang. In the dungeons, rotting away for a crime she didn’t commit.”

Yeosang stared at you in disbelief. “You’re… lying. Didn’t you run away? He’s been sending men after you ever since you disappeared.”

You scoffed, baring your wrists to him and showing him the marks of the chain. “I’ve only come here for my sister. You can go check right now. If your King didn’t lie, why would she be in here, Yeosang?”

Yeosang scanned you once before removing the knife from your neck. “I’m not fully convinced.”

“What do you know about what happened two years ago?”

“Everything I could have known,” he nodded. As an advisor, he always knew more than the rest.

“The King insisted on firing Utopia’s troops at the border because of the rumour that they were going to occupy the land,” you began, sitting down defenceless, “And perhaps, they were. I went to Utopia and retrieved their political secrets- the one about the internal rivalry in Utopia. If that became public in Utopia, the nation would fall. I used that to negotiate with the Utopians- no more war. But our King… he wanted to use that information for the downfall of Utopia so he could take over there as well.”

“I know the King intended and suggested that at one point,” Yeosang looked grim.

“And he would have told you that I used that information for personal gain and that cost us some lives for which he sent people to hunt me?” Yeosang nodded and you continued, “But he used that information, and I called him out on it. Ask Yunho- he was the King’s Right Hand at that time. Do you know why he left?”

“He never clearly mentioned it,” Yeosang shook his head.

“Because he was the only one who knew that I was innocent. Him and Wooyoung,” tears threatened to fall from your eyes, “They are the only ones who really knew me and believed in me, and Yeosang… I would have expected you would have believed them too.”

“But if you are innocent, why did they never tell me?” Yeosang was curious now.

“To protect you,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “Killing Yunho would be too suspicious so the King lets him live. Wooyoung… resigned from here, you must know. He never really took my side, but I know he left because of me. He was wise to do so.”

Yeosang felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on him. “I… I don’t know what to say. I guess I need to check if Chaewon is here to believe it. Maybe I’ll write to Yunho too…”

“Don’t,” you said softly, “It’s too risky. For you.”

Yeosang took a few minutes to run everything in his head again, and he had to admit, what you said made perfect sense. There had been quite a few holes and vagueness in the story the King had told everyone, and of course, no one had been brave enough to question his integrity. And he couldn’t forget what Yunho had told his friends, including Yeosang, before he left. “What you hear isn’t always the truth- even if it is from the King.”

“So they took Chaewon to make sure you keep your mouth shut… I’m truly sorry for that.” You remained silent and he shook his head, continuing, “How did you meet Seonghwa?”

You told him of the events of the past few weeks- escaping from Utopia’s prison, trespassing here only to encounter Seonghwa who was being chased as well, saving his life and ending up here. You were smiling by the end of it. “He’s… a good man.”

“He is,” Yeosang smiled, “but does he know who you are?”

“He thinks I’m an assassin,” you laughed a bit, “I mean… he’s close. But no. I told him that my name is Chaewol and I suggest you call me that too.”

“You know he is going to kill you once he learns who you are,” Yeosang stood up, “Like I was going to.”

“I know,” you pursed your lips, “And I’m prepared. But I hope I can get Chaewon out before it comes to that. I’ll… disappear after that. I don’t plan to return or expose the King, Yeosang, unless I know my sister is safe.”

“And if she is,” Yeosang’s eyes had a curious glint, “If she is out of harm’s way?”

You stood up too, “If she really is, I’m going to make sure the King regrets the day he decided to turn his back on his most loyal warrior.” Your eyes burned.

“And clear your name?”

“Who knows me anyway, Yeosang?” You sighed, “It only matters that the people I’m close to know that I did not betray them. I don’t care about the public.”

“Fair enough,” Yeosang nodded, “It’s… good to have you back.”

You finally smiled at your old friend- you weren’t very close to him but you could call him your friend, “Miss me?”

Yeosang made a choking noise, “I’m going to arrange for your lunch. It looks like Utopia didn’t even give you one meal a day.”

“Only you, Yeosang,” you shook your head, “would make a joke out of my misery. You and Wooyoung.”

“You met him?”

“He’s become old!” You scoffed, “He’s actually living like a retired old man. Seonghwa almost recognised him.”

Yeosang whistled, “Wait till Hongjoong sees you. You’re going to get exposed soon. Prepare to be killed by Seonghwa because I am not talking sense to him.”

You dismissed him, going to take a proper, luxurious bath for the first time in a while. As you sat near the window, letting your hair dry, having eaten the familiar castle food, it started to settle in.

Seonghwa was the King’s Right Hand. It was only a matter of time before he found out who you were and-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Seonghwa peeked in. “Can I come in?”

“You’re already in,” you commented as he looked around. You hadn’t unpacked. “You’ve been… very busy for ‘just a guard’.”

“You know already, don’t you?” Seonghwa shook his head. You scanned him- he was looking… extremely handsome in the dark outfit he now wore, looking neat. “Yeosang told you?”

“Maybe,” you smiled, “I want to hear it from you.”

“Is this a test?” Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you.

“Is it?” You pretended to think and he scoffed, sitting in front of you.

“I… am the King’s Right Hand,” he looked at you cautiously.

“I don’t know whether to feel sorry for you or feel sorry for the King,” you finally said after a moment and he threw his head back, laughing. You let him have his moment- you couldn’t tell him that the man he served was the one you hated the most. “I do have to ask… for the King’s Right Hand, you have quite a few complaints that could really cost your head.”

“The King is young, and he’ll learn,” Seonghwa sighed, “I am just his concerned servant. It’s okay to have concerns, isn’t it?”

“Not always,” you muttered, looking out of the window. You had concerns with the King too, and look how you ended up.

“He won’t know unless you tell,” Seonghwa smirked. “How do you like the castle?”

“It’s very… typical?” You tried thinking of the right word, “I mean… just like how I heard. It’s nice, but in a familiar way.”

“I get that,” Seonghwa nodded, “I used to be the Queen’s advisor and messnger, which is why I wasn’t at the castle often, before I got promoted two years ago.”

“How did you go from that to being the Right Hand? That must have been quite the jump for you.” You were testing the waters now.

“I carried important messages, which meant the King trusted me enough. And when Yunho… the previous one left, the King thought I was the most suitable person.”

“I believe you when you said the King might not be sane in his head,” you whispered and he laughed, shaking his head. “Why did… Yunho leave? He must have left suddenly if the King had to choose you.”

Seonghwa passed you a side-eye, “This position is… burdensome. Something happened two years ago, something about one of the intelligence agents turning sides. Apparently Yunho was familiar with that person and believed them to be innocent- I don’t quite remember, but it caused quite a fuss. Almost cost him his life. He resigned then, on the condition he stayed quiet.”

“Quite a story,” you shrugged, “Who do you believe?”

“The King,” Seonghwa said, and your heart sank to your feet, “But… Yunho is my friend, and he would have no reason to lie. I don’t know the whole situation, but I think Yunho isn’t wrong on his behalf. The King might not be wrong on his behalf too. Perhaps, a conflict of perspectives? I’m in no position to assume, really.”

You nodded slowly. His automatic response told you that he truly was loyal to the King. Which was… bad for you. “I don’t intend to stay here long. I must find my sister. Can you ask Hongjoong to meet me tomorrow? Tell him Chaewon’s sister is here. And don’t use that to ask my name- he won’t tell you anyway.”

“You got me,” Seonghwa grinned, “But first… we need to get you presentable clothes.”

“Oh, just get me something from one of the maids,” you waved a hand.

“No,” he shook his head, “You’re going shopping tomorrow. With me.”

“Aren’t you a busy person?”

“Never for you,” he said and you deadpan stared at him.

“When are you going to stop saying things like that?”

“Things like what?” Seonghwa leaned in front of you, your faces mere inches apart.

“Things that make me hope for something that is not possible.”

You truly felt sorry for pushing Seonghwa away because every time you did, you saw his heart break through his eyes. You wondered if he saw your heart break too. “I really don’t get why you keep insisting on this. How do you know I won’t love you even if you are who you really are?”

You tried to ignore the word ‘love’, shaking your head. “You can’t be in love with who I am presenting myself to be. That’s not me.”

“This is still you,” he took your hand, squeezing it, “When you talk to me about how beautiful the sky is, how much you miss your sister, how much you regret what happened… that is you. And when you care for me…” he caressed your hands, “When you kept watch at night for someone you didn’t know, and continued to do so even later- because I know only I was being chased… that was you too. And when you look at me like this…” he brought his other hand to your face, caressing your cheek, “I can see you’re holding back. I see the emotions in your eyes that you insist on not having. That is you too. That is who I think I like. Sure, love is a strong word, but I’m getting there.”

“Seonghwa, please, don’t make it harder for me,” you took both his hands, “I can’t stay here. I have to get my sister and I have to live quietly, because I never know when they will come for me. I can’t be with you, so it’s better if you don’t think about me in the first place-”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” he squeezed your hands, “And I’ll protect you.”

You scoffed at that. He really had no idea he would be the one you’d need protecting from. You shook your head. “You’re a hopeless romantic. I’m not doing anything, Seonghwa. It’s all you, remember that. One day, you’re going to hate yourself for loving me, and it will be all you, because I’m holding myself back.”

“Are you from… Utopia?” Seonghwa frowned and you burst out laughing.

“God, no. Eden’s blood runs through my veins. You’re stupid, Seonghwa.”

He sighed in relief, “Because I really can’t think of a reason I would hate you-”

He paused and the smile from your face fell. Could he have made the connection? But he shook his head as if he was wrong to even think that. “Not an assassin, not a Utopian… you’re strange, Chaewol.”

“I am,” you nodded. “So where are we going tomorrow?”

Early in the morning, Seonghwa accompanied you to the shops. He didn’t ask you why you kept your face hidden, nor did he ask you why you kept pausing and spacing out as if you were recalling something, which was a relief. You got yourself one dress and a few shirts and pants.

“In my field, dresses are a hassle,” you told him.

“Must be,” Seonghwa sounded amused, pausing suddenly when he spotted a hairpin with pearls and flowers on it. “Can I get you a gift?”

“That’s a dangerous gift,” you grinned, “You know I could easily kill you with that.”

“You’ve had so many opportunities to kill me,” Seonghwa paid for the pin, looking at you, “Yet, here we are.”

You took the pin from the shopkeeper, urging Seonghwa to go on, trailing a bit behind him, hearing Seonghwa gloat about how you didn’t kill him despite the several chances. When you finally had enough and you reached an alley, you poked him with the pin on his back.

“Ow,” Seonghwa rubbed the spot, glaring at you, “What was that for?”

“You asked for it.”

“I didn’t ask for a poke,” he raised his brow and you scoffed in disbelief.

“You really want to die by my hands, don’t you?”

“As someone once said, a lovers choke could-”

You grabbed his arm and slammed his back on the wall of the empty alley, standing on your tiptoes, one hand grabbing his collar while the other hand poked the pin at the dangerous spot in the neck. “What was that?”

Seonghwa was surprised but then he smirked, nodding slowly, “Getting feisty, are we?”

“I dare you to complete that sentence, Seonghwa,” your eyes unintentionally fell to his plump parted lips. He licked them which only made you sigh internally, your eyes widening when you felt his hands trail up your thighs to rest on your hips, his thumb caressing your waist as he whispered.

“A lover’s choke could kill me and then bring me back to life.”

You didn’t move- you really couldn’t deny the pull, the hold Seonghwa had on you. His hands travelled up slowly, snaking behind your neck and making you shudder. “Look at you…” He got closer to whisper in your ear. “Let me do it, Chaewol. Let me kiss you until you’re unable to breathe.”

You subconsciously tilted your neck and he wasted no time drawing your scarf away and trailing his lips down the curve of your neck, earning a quiet moan because god, you hadn’t been touched in so long now. He kissed your neck, sucking at it a bit, then trailed kisses up your jaw, lingering there and he would have gone further but he heard a group of men enter the alley and he looked at you.

He wanted nothing more than to take you there.

But he stopped himself, taking your hand and nudging you along, kissing your hand and walking the rest of the way in silence. You could tell he was holding himself back throughout the carriage ride because of the guard present with you. Once you reached the castle, he was spotted by someone and called for an urgent meeting, leaving you alone in your room and cursing yourself internally but also-

Also reliving the moment again and again and hoping you wouldn’t regret surrendering to him.

—---------------

You wore the deep purple dress that Seonghwa had chosen for you, sliding the hairpin in your hair, looking at yourself in the mirror willingly for the first time in a while. You looked better than the messy state you had been in for days and that was a relief.

You waited for Seonghwa to come, and he finally knocked, a surprised gasp leaving you when you saw Hongjoong because you thought Seonghwa was going to take you to him. Hongjoong, who had been confused when Seonghwa said Chaewon’s sister was here, kept his mouth shut about you the entire time.

“That’s… Chaewol. Can you tell me her name, Hongjoong?” Seonghwa looked at him but he looked like he didn’t hear him as he scanned you and walked to you in a daze.

“Is that really you-”

“Don’t say my name,” you told him, “It’s me… Tell me you believe me, Hongjoong.”

“Of course I do,” he smiled, spreading his arms and you rushed to him, hugging him and crying into it, Seonghwa watching you two with surprise. Hongjoong had never mentioned being close to a female friend, and you… You clearly meant something to him because his body shook too. You locked eyes with Seonghwa, whispering a thank you and he nodded.

“You’re so weak now… what do I call you?”

“Chaewol,” you said and he nodded, sitting with you. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa.

“Can you leave us to talk in private?”

Seonghwa looked hurt but he nodded, understanding that Hongjoong must know who you really were and you clearly weren’t ready to reveal it to him yet. You left Seonghwa wondering just why he was the one who didn’t know anything.

“I know Chaewon’s here,” Hongjoong looked grim, “I’ve been secretly making sure they treat her well than the… rest of the prisoners.”

You looked at him proudly, “I owe you my life then.”

“You owe me nothing,” Hongjoong squeezed your hands, “I had to pretend to be on the King’s side when I learned they got Chaewon, so I could make sure someone looked after her. I’m sorry… for everything.”

“Not your fault,” you shook your head, “How is she?”

Hongjoong looked down, his red hair falling, “She could be better.”

“She must hate me.”

“I don’t know, Eunyoung,” Hongjoong called you by the name you used as a spy and you asked him to keep calling you Chaewol because anyone could overhear. “I couldn’t reveal myself to her. I know seeing a familiar face would have helped, but I really couldn’t. Wooyoung does, though.”

“He does?” You frowned. “Are you sure?”

“He goes unnoticed even in daylight, you know how skilled he is,” he smiled, “He keeps an eye on her. He comes by every month to check up on her.”

“Gosh, I hate him,” you laughed, “I met him and he never told me!”

“You know that’s how he is,” he smiled, “Anyways… I have a plan.”

—-----------------

Hongjoong had taken you to the Healer's Department and you were coming back when you encountered Seonghwa.

"Oh. You're still awake."

"And you're up late," Seonghwa raised a brow, "Were you with Hongjoong?"

"Yeah, just coming back from there," you walked with him, "Busy day today?"

"Quite so, but I managed to get a lot of work done today."

"Oh?" You looked at him, "Feeling in your element?"

"Or rather… pent up emotions converted into the boost of energy I needed."

You laughed along with Seonghwa at that, reaching your room. "Are you sure you weren't jealous earlier?"

"Oh, I was," Seonghwa admitted shamelessly, making you raise your brows at the sudden confession. "You and Hongjoong… look pretty close."

"Close friends, Seonghwa," you rolled your eyes, still standing in the doorway, wondering if he wanted to come inside or continue here. "He knows me from the… very beginning of my career, you could say."

"Nothing more?" Seonghwa's eyes gleamed as he took a step, "Because when you hugged him like that… I don't know. You never hugged me like that."

"Aw," you teased, "Do you want a hug now? Come here," you motioned for him to come and he scoffed.

"Not like this," he laughed, shaking his hand, "I'm only teasing."

"Does that mean you don't want a hug?" You wiggled your brows, "Because I feel quite generous right now-"

Seonghwa grabbed you by the waist and pushed you back, shutting the door and pinning you against it. "I think I'd rather finish what I started earlier. And since you're feeling so generous…" he trailed a finger down your face, satisfied at your surprised expressions, "Why don't you return this favour?"

"Hey," you tried pushing him back but he wouldn't budge, "I told you you'll regret this."

"I don't care," he joined foreheads with you and your breath hitched, "You're the one that I want."

The brush of your noses nearly made your knees weak. You stayed like that for a few moments, his hands tracing your body, your curves and coming to cup your face while your hands fisted his white shirt as if that was the only thing holding you up. Seonghwa locked eyes with you. "If you really don't want this, tell me right now, because I don't think I can stop if I start-"

You pecked his lips, the sane part in your brain cursing you for initiating this but you were anything but sane right now, especially when he groaned and practically slammed into you as he finally kissed you, lips parting and locking fervently, a slide of his tongue turning the kiss into heated, open mouthed kisses and you couldn't get enough of him. You couldn't get enough of being pinned between him and the wall, couldn't actually breathe as he kissed you like there was no tomorrow. When he broke apart, he was smiling widely.

"I've waited so long," he gave you another kiss as if he couldn't quite believe what happened.

"Well," you licked your lips, "What's holding you back now?"

Seonghwa shook his head at you, smirking as he tilted your chin up and started kissing you ever so slowly and softly, his plump lips patient with you and you couldn't believe how intense you felt at the moment. It made your knees weak and you couldn't stand anymore so he picked you up, making you wrap your legs around him, and then he dropped on the chair, letting you straddle him and take control and you returned the favour. You kissed him slowly at first, relishing every peck, and all it took was the touch of his fingers on your bare thighs that travelled up your waist to turn the kisses into a passionate make-out.

His fingers held your waist tightly- he knew you wouldn't break so easily. He ran them up and down your thighs in a sultry manner as you moaned into the kisses, which only fueled him. You subconsciously grinded on him, earning a groan that you swallowed, leaving him smiling into the kiss and he broke apart.

"Let me breathe," he laughed lightly, looking at you with love and adoration in his eyes. "Do that again."

"What? This?" You rolled your hips over his lap again and he threw his head back and you took that chance to start trailing your lips down his neck, making him squirm and the hold on your thighs got tighter.

"Revenge is a sweet thing, Seonghwa," you whispered in your ears, leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck as you kept rolling your hips on him. "How does this feel?"

"I…" he let out a moan and you thought it was the most beautiful sound, "I've had enough of this."

He picked you up and you squealed, laughing as he threw you on the bed and took off his jacket, throwing it on the floor and getting on top of you, continuing to kiss you as your hands worked to unbutton his shirt and feel his bare skin. Your dress was already gathered around your hips from the legs and Seonghwa slid his leg between your thighs, pressing it against you and providing you with the friction you'd been needing, earning a moan and making you stop.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" you sighed, bringing him down so you were hugging him, "I'm all yours, tonight. Do whatever you please."

Seonghwa adjusted the both of you so he could hug you better, kissing your head. "I'm all yours too. Do what you please with me."

You got on top of him, kissing him softly. "Are you sure? Despite all my warnings?"

Seonghwa caressed your face. "I'm sure."

—------------------

You regretted the events of last night as soon as you woke up.

Hongjoong had an excellent plan- Seonghwa was going to the nearby town for one night in two days, which was when you could have the chance to free your sister with a little help from Hongjoong’s guard friends who had been making sure Chaewon was well as per his instructions. Wooyoung would come and pair with you as an extra set of hands (and to talk some sense into you in case you dare try to hurt the King, as Hongjoong told you he knew you would). Yunho would be present outside the castle to accompany you to somewhere far away from here. Yeosang would make sure the chaos that was to ensue didn’t reach the other guards until you got out.

It was dangerous- Hongjoong and Yeosang were not only risking their positions but also their lives for you. You told Hongjoong that and he said that it was the least they could do for you both after the years of service and friendship from your side.

You also suggested telling Seonghwa. You asked Hongjoong if Seonghwa could ever truly believe you. Hongjoong told you that he had thought about it and he really wasn’t sure- if he wasn’t the King’s Right Hand, perhaps he would have believed you. It really was a risk because if he learned about this but didn’t believe you, your sister would be stuck here for the rest of your life. The King would never let your sister go even if you surrendered yourself to him.

And after the events of last night… Seonghwa would think you betrayed him. He’d hunt you himself. It was the very reason why you had been avoiding any romantic interaction with him. He’d be very hurt. You regretted last night.

But that did not mean you didn’t wish you weren’t a spy who was now thought to be a traitor. You wished you were like most of the women in this kingdom.

But would he have even looked at you then? Would you two have ever met?

“If I were just another woman who knew only stitching or baking, who dressed up everyday to impress and took care of herself,” you wondered out loud when Seonghwa later came in your room with some paperwork, saying he was getting used to working around you, “Would you have even looked at me, Seonghwa?”

He looked up from his pages and rested his chin on his hands, smiling, “Maybe. Maybe we would have met differently then. Maybe you would have been in the markets and grabbed my arm and hidden me if I was being chased by someone.”

“Maybe we wouldn’t have met at all?”

“I believe that two souls that meet… they are meant to meet each other,” he got up, walking to you. “Even if our circumstances were different, we lived different lives than the ones we live now… at some point, we would have met.”

“That’s… quite a belief you have,” you laughed, letting him hold you by the waist.

“I also believe that two souls who are in love were meant to love each other.”

“Are you sure you didn’t make all of this up now?” You narrowed your eyes at him and he shook his head firmly but then gave in, laughing.

“I may have. But you have to admit that it makes sense.”

“It doesn’t, but I guess that’s the fun part about it,” you swayed along with him. “What do you have to say about a soul who yearns to tell the truth to the person they love but cannot because they fear they’ll leave?”

Seonghwa paused, staring at you. “Just tell me, Chaewol.”

You bit your lips, looking sideways. You wanted to- every nerve in your body ached to tell him the truth and prayed he would believe you. But…

You had to save your sister first- you could not risk her life over this.

“I want to, Seonghwa,” it came out as a shaky whisper, “I really, really want to. But you are never going to believe me.”

“I will. You’ve never once lied to me this entire time, Chaewol. Only hidden what you could not tell. Lying and hiding are different things.”

“Seonghwa,” you almost cried, “Can we pretend that I’m hiding nothing as long as I’m here? Once I leave to save my sister, once I’m sure she is safe, I’ll come back to you- I promise. I’ll tell you the whole truth- I swear it on my life and hers. Just… can we not pretend to be lovers bound by the truth?”

It was your way of telling Seonghwa that you would come back for him. Once you were gone tomorrow night, he would be angry. He’d recall your conversations and you hoped that when he recalled this conversation, he would understand that you would come back for him, even if it meant you’d die at his hands.

Seonghwa wiped the tears that streamed down your face, kissing your forehead. “If that’s what you want… I’ll wait for you, Chaewol. I’ll wait for you to tell me the truth, and I’ll trust that you will come back to me.”

“Thank you,” you sighed in relief, putting your head against his chest as you told yourself to stop crying. He held you, caressing your hair and when you stopped crying, he cupped your face in his hands.

“I hope that when you leave… you remember that I love you. That there is a reason I fell in love with you and that won’t change, no matter who you are, where you come from, and what you’ve done. That won’t change the fact that you own my heart.”

“And I hope you’ll remember that I love you too, Seonghwa,” you laughed as tears spilled again, “Even when I told myself not to. You own my heart and you’ll own it forever. I may have saved your life, but you saved me in more ways than I could ever imagine.”

Seonghwa smiled at that and planted a kiss on your forehead, leaving kisses all over your face and making you tingle with excitement until he kissed your lips. You loved the way he held your face, the way his fingers clenched at your hair, the way his hands craned your neck up so he could kiss you ever so softly, and you felt like you could crumble right there.

You were not ready for tomorrow.

—-----------------

“Wooyoung, I swear to god, I will kill you as soon as we get out of here.”

“I’m just… surprised, is all,” he had a shit-eating smirk plastered on his face, “Well, you can imagine my surprise, right, Hongjoong? When I saw her kiss Seonghwa like it was the last time-”

You threw a book at him and he dodged it expertly, not even batting an eye. Hongjoong shook his head, passing you a sad smile. “I have to say, I never imagined you and Seonghwa could be a thing. I used to think you and Wooyoung had something going on-”

“How could you even suggest that-” “What in the fiery pits of hell!”

You and Wooyoung looked at each other after the simultaneous outburst, shaking your heads. The three of you bickered for a while until you heard footsteps in the otherwise empty Healer Department.

“All clear,” a figure came into the light, revealing a familiar face, “It’s time.”

“San,” you got up and he smiled at you, taking your hands in his as you walked to him, “I can never repay you for the favour you’ve done me. Thank you for making sure my sister had company, San.”

“I’m glad to see you’re alive, Eunyoung,” San smiled, “You look so much like Chaewon.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, turning to see Hongjoong motioning something to San. You raised a brow.

“San has something to tell you,” Hongjoong grinned.

“Actually, don’t kill me please,” San laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his neck, “I… Chaewon and I…”

You gasped, smacking his chest playfully, “No wonder she didn’t die of boredom.”

“It just happened,” he gave you a sad smile, “Whenever I was on duty, we talked. We’d sit in front of each other in the otherwise empty dungeon, separated by bars. She told me about her life, about you, how she loved you and was sorry to hate you for even a second when everything went wrong.” You sighed, nodding, and he continued, “I told her about my life. I’d tell her about my work, about how you were here- very different from the sister you are. Somehow… we got used to each other until we could call it love.”

“That’s… beautiful,” you wiped a tear, “Will you find Chaewon once we’re out?”

“I will. I will come for her, if you’d allow me too-”

“Who am I to stop my sister from meeting the man she loves?” You smiled at him, “I’ll wait for you. Let’s go.”

Following a secret passage built throughout the entirety of the castle that San told you led to the King’s room as well and only a few trusted people knew, you all made a stop at the library where Yeosang was already waiting, tagging along to drop of at the level above the dungeons to chat with the guards and render them unconscious if need be. Yeosang squeezed your hand, “Are you sure Seonghwa comes tomorrow?”

“That’s what he told me,” you nodded, “Some work thing. Right, Hongjoong?”

“Yeah. He shouldn’t be back before afternoon.”

“I’m just nervous because this could go wrong in so many ways,” Yeosang sighed.

You felt guilty, “I’m sorry for making you do this.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, stupid,” Yeosang smacked your arm, “I’m doing this myself.”

You passed him a look and he rolled his eyes, “Come on. Even Wooyoung’s here. What more do you need? Do I have to say it out loud? That’s what friends do-”

“Ew, don’t say that word, we’re not friends, Eunyoung and I,” Wooyoung put his fingers in his ears and you kicked his leg. San told you all to shut up if you didn’t want to be caught before the actual plan even started and you all did, snickering to yourselves. Yeosang dropped off and down you all went until you were standing on the roof of the passage that led to the dungeons.

“Wait here for the signal,” San said, taking his sword out and sliding it along the ground, producing a relatively loud sound that could be mistaken as a random noise by any passerby but the guards who were on duty tonight caught the signal and created that sound in reply, which was the indication he needed to slide the tile off the floor and jump down, signalling you to come down as well.

You jumped and San caught you, and you had to blink a few times to let your eyes adjust to the dim lights. Jongho and Mingi brought you in for a group hug, silent but full of emotions. You laughed in disbelief, “No one told me you two were still here! I thought you both left with Wooyoung or something- why are you guarding the dungeons of all the jobs in this castle?”

“We missed working with you,” Jongho said, “So we thought we’d work for your sister.”

“It was like you were still here,” Mingi sighed. “I’m glad to see you’re still in one piece.”

You shook your head at the duo- they had escorted you many times on dangerous missions. You suspected the left or worked for another spy but this was a surprise and the way everyone around you was smiling, you knew it was like a little gift for you. “Thank you, you both. Now take me to my sister.”

San pursed his lips, motioning you to follow him and you weren’t surprised when you passed all the cells only to stop at the one at the end- the least daylight. Your hands trembled as you saw the frail back and long hair of your sister.

“Chaewon?”

“You’re here again tonight, dear sister,” Chaewon said, not moving, “I guess you must be as sad as me.”

You looked at San in confusion and he took a deep breath. “Chaewon. Your sister really is here for you.”

“Don’t lie, Sannie,” she shook her head, “You and I both know I only conjure her up to save myself from falling somewhere I cannot come out from.”

You let out a sob- you were reminded of when Seonghwa said that you might be the only thing keeping your sister from insanity like she had, for you. You fell on your knees, clutching the bars in your hands. “Chaewon, my dear Chaewon. Look at me and tell me I’m real.”

She froze for a few moments. “You never cry when you are here, then why-”

She turned and you sobbed when you saw her once healthy and flushed cheeks now sunken and pale. The light had left her eyes too. She crawled to you, looking at San in confusion. “Tell me you see her too.”

San put a hand on your shoulder and she let out a sob as she desperately crawled the rest of the way and slid her hands through the bars to hold your face. “You came for me- what happened to you, love? You’re so weak now, oh god.”

“Chaewon,” you cried happy tears, “Of course I came for you, as soon as I escaped prison. They kept me in Utopia. I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier, I’m so, so incredibly sorry-”

“Shh,” she caressed your face, “You’re here now. Let’s go home.”

You nodded, squeezing her hands and you looked at Wooyoung who had been trying to unlock the door with his tools. A few moments later, he did, and you rushed inside, hugging each other and crying into each other’s shoulders, murmuring apologies.

“We don’t have much time,” Wooyoung rubbed your back, “Let’s go.”

“Can you walk?” You asked Chaewon and she nodded. You looked at the three guards. “Make sure you hide inside the castle- they won’t search here when they find you missing. Leave when Hongjoong tells you- not before.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Mingi and Jongho saluted and San shook his head. Chaewon left you and stood in front of San, caressing his face and your heart melted at the way San looked at her- the same way Seonghwa looked at you.

“I’ll come for you,” San kissed her hand, “Go. Now.”

Chaewon pecked his cheek and hugged him briefly before following you and Hongjoong extended a rope which you took, climbing up and the boys helped Chaewon climb up before they climbed as well.

“We part ways here,” Hongjoong looked at the guards, “You three- to the secret room. Do not leave unless I personally come and ask you to. You two-” Hongjoong pointed at you and Chaewon, “With me.”

“Wait-” you looked at Wooyoung, “Can you provide me with cover? I need to see his Majesty.”

“No,” Chaewon took your hands, “You cannot risk this.”

“No,” Wooyoung shook his head, “I’m done here.”

“Fine. I’ll go by myself,” your eyes were steel and you put Chaewon’s hands in Hongjoong’s. “Ask Yunho to hide at the first stop- if I don’t come by tonight, that means he needs to move.”

“No,” Chaewon sobbed, “Don’t leave me now, please.”

“Chaewon,” you patted her cheek, “I cannot live with the label of traitor on my head. I cannot live with shame. I need to do this, for me, for the people I love. Hongjoong, please take her.”

You kissed her forehead and let her go, Hongjoong locking his arm with her and practically dragging her as he assured her you would come. You looked at Wooyoung.

“Fine,” he rolled his eyes, “Make it short.”

“I didn’t even ask you to come again,” you scoffed, “You really can’t leave me alone.”

“Shut up,” he scoffed back, motioning you to follow him. He led you up and you checked your weapons in case the King called guards on you because all you wanted was to have a conversation.

“Does the King know about this passage? Because I expect he would have guards roaming around if he does-”

“The previous King died a sudden death, perhaps before he could tell his young son about this passage,” Wooyoung smirked as he looked at you, “He’s lucky that only his trusted men know this passage.”

“Who exactly? Because I don’t think he told you.”

“Hongjoong- Head Healer, in case he needs to save the King. Yunho knew, as the King’s Right Hand, but I’m not sure whether he told Seonghwa. He told me when I wanted to check up on Chaewon.”

“Thanks for that,” you said, and for the first time Wooyoung gave you a genuine smile.

“I always liked her more than you. She was fun to have around when we worked here.”

You nodded- he was talking about the time you both resided in the castle and Chaewon would come visit. She was always so friendly with everyone and you were glad that she was- perhaps that had been her saving grace.

He motioned to the door in front of you. “This opens to the King’s bedroom. You need to tell me what you plan to do.”

You took a deep breath. “A friendly talk.”

“Friendly? I doubt that, Eunyoung, after everything’s that happened-”

“I’m using our language,” you looked at him, and he saw the fire behind your eyes, “You know what we mean when we say a friendly talk.”

“This is a bad idea and it could get you killed.”

“I don’t care. I still have proof that the King betrayed me and used me as a scapegoat. If anything happens tonight, Wooyoung… ask Seonghwa to find the book he read with me in the castle’s library. He’ll know once he sees it, but you… You can decipher the code I put there.”

“You are insane,” he shook his head in disbelief, “Just how long have you been planning this?”

“I had a lot of time in prison,” you mumbled, “Now… open the door, Wooyoung. I won’t kill the King, I promise. I’d rather he kill me- if he does, let Seonghwa know that I am innocent.”

“Alright,” Wooyoung nodded, opening the door a little silently and checking around- the chamber was empty and the bedroom was lit. “I’m gonna stay hidden here. If anyone comes, I’ll call you. Go.”

You took a deep breath, taking Wooyoung’s hand and squeezing it, to his surprise. “Thank you for everything.”

“Go on now,” he patted your back and you stepped in the King’s chamber.

It still smelled like what you remembered- a faint scent of musk. It was the scent that was once comforting to you- when the King was a prince and his father was alive a few years ago. You had been in service since then and missed them incredibly- more because the King and Queen were great people and cared for you so much. You did not understand why their son was insane when he had everything one could ask for- good, attentive parents and all the wealth and luxury he could ever need. Perhaps he was simply rotten at core.

You recalled the time when the King and Queen passed away and the Prince became the King. It was the time when the new King was sane. He was even tolerable enough to be called a friend, though now you wanted to spit at the idea. He treated you all well, made use of your service and rewarded you properly, but as the years passed in his service you noticed him listening more to the rotten members of the court than the people he used to call his ‘friends’ which included you.

Everything changed then.

You peeked through the slightly open door- the King was still the same except for the frown now permanently etched on his still young face. He was looking through some paperwork. You felt the urge to send a dagger for his heart and end everything, but you couldn’t. It would only mark you a traitor forever when you were anything but. So you stepped inside silently and shut the door, which was when he finally looked up and his mouth opened in surprise, the papers falling to the floor.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.”

“Eunyoung,” he stopped breathing when you shut the door and reflexively, he went to pull the string on his bed to ring the bell that would alert the guards but you sent a dagger in that direction, cutting the string and frightening him.

“I am not here to hurt you,” you told him and he froze, “I’m here to have a conversation. Look,” you put your hands in the air, sitting on the chair in front of him. “Only here to talk.”

“How can I believe you?” He basically spat those words.

“I should be the one saying that,” you laughed sarcastically, “I mean… you are the one who betrayed me after all- sent one of your most loyal servants to the enemies. Used my family to make me shut up and willingly leave my home and rot in the prison. Yet still… you pretend to send men to hunt me down. I have to say, quite clever of you to do so.”

“I had no choice-”

“You had so many choices,” you seethed, “You could have stopped and made a peace treaty with Utopia. You could have ended this foolish war that your parents spent all their life trying to resolve without shedding blood. They must be turning in their graves after what you did.”

“Do not talk about my parents with that filthy tongue of yours-”

“Filthy?” You stood up after he did, “I can’t believe I called you my friend. Is this what a friend does? Sell their friend off to the enemy nation and mark them a traitor when they spent all their life in service of their homeland? And for what, huh? Some stupid hierarchy thing that’s all in your head?”

He said nothing, his hand resting on the dagger belted to his side. You shook your head. “Kill me. Go on. But remember when you end me, the secrets of Utopia will be made public. Your name will be tarnished forever- I made sure of that.”

He clenched his jaw, eyes full of rage. “How dare you threaten me?”

You’d had enough. You took out your dagger and held him by his collar, the dagger resting in the middle of his throat, “How dare you threaten me with the life of my sister? How dare you throw me away like nothing to the hands of our enemies? Don’t even get me started on what they did to me in the prison, oh no. How dare you call yourself a king when you can’t even protect the people in your service-”

“That is enough.”

You froze as you heard the voice that you’d recognize anywhere.

Seonghwa.

“Step back,” his sword poked the middle of your back, threatening to lodge in your heart dare you try anything.

“I thought you weren’t here for the night.”

“I wasn’t,” his voice grew cold, “but something came up. What are you doing, Chaewol? Explain yourself.”

“Chaewol?” The King scoffed, “Is that the name she told you, Seonghwa? She is the spy we’ve been hunting for- Eunyoung-”

“You shut your mouth-” you pressed the dagger to the King’s throat and Seonghwa pressed the sword further in your skin, stopping you from going further.

“What is he saying?”

“Yes. I am Eunyoung. Listen to me, Seonghwa,” you began, meeting eyes with him for a second before turning to the King. “I served this man and his parents my entire life as an intelligence agent. His parents treasured me because I was one of a kind. I called this filth my friend, Seonghwa. He tainted my name- I had the information to prevent the war between Utopia and Eden. I risked my life in Utopia for that- but he… he wanted to use this to threaten Utopia into submission instead of negotiating for peace. Do you know how much bloodshed we could have prevented? I dared to call him out and he used my sister to make me submit to him and sent me to prison in Utopia. My sister was here this entire time, rotting in the dungeons, because of his selfishness. So give me a reason to spare his life, Seonghwa.”

“Lies,” the King shouted shamelessly, “You threatened to use the information against us. I sent you to Utopia as a peace offering and prevented an actual war-”

“Bullshit,” you scoffed, “Tell me, Seonghwa. Do you believe him or me?”

Seonghwa was silent- he couldn’t make sense of what was happening. “You… you should have told me who you were. You knew who I was- did you use me to get here?”

“Don’t forget I offered you to go alone,” you seethed, looking at him finally, your heart breaking inside at the look in his eyes. “You insisted on taking me here.”

“How much you must have enjoyed making a fool out of me,” Seonghwa shook his head in disappointment. “Even if you are right, you cannot kill the King. I serve him, and my duty is to protect him.”

“Well, here’s a newsflash for you, Seonghwa,” your eyes turned cold as you snatched the dagger out of the King’s hand and threw it away, cutting your hand in the process and pointing the dagger at the King’s heart. “I am still a servant of this kingdom. This fool forgot to strip me of my title before calling me a traitor. That means I serve the kingdom, and the kingdom demands I make sure that the person who rules the nation isn’t a tyrant. So technically…” you slid the dagger down the King’s chest, “I am in a position to kill both him and you.”

“Chaewol… Eunyoung,” Seonghwa’s eyes etched into a pained expression, “Stop this madness. Don’t do this- Don’t make me kill you.”

“I’d rather you kill me than him,” you shook your head, “I-”

You were interrupted when the King produced another dagger from his back and attempted to stab you but you dodged it, Seonghwa’s sword accidentally cutting into your skin a bit, and then you twisted the hand that held the dagger, earning a yell of pain from him and a warning shout from Seonghwa.

“I’m gonna make sure you clear my name with your own mouth, Your Majesty,” you glared at him, about to fist his collar to make your point clear but Seonghwa grabbed your arm and pulled you away, making you face him and you finally took out your sword, pointing at him as he pointed it at you.

“What a turn of events,” you scoffed, “Isn’t there a saying for this? Two lovers at each other’s swords’ ends-”

“That’s enough,” he said softly, “Surrender, Eunyoung. You are wanted as a traitor to this nation.”

“Do you seriously believe this?”

“I believe what the King says. It is my duty as the Right Hand.”

“No wonder Yunho left,” you scoffed, Seonghwa’s eyes widening after hearing that, “Do you remember what he said to you before he left? Do you know why Hongjoong doesn’t trust you enough to tell you about me? Because you’re too blinded by being devoted to that filthy piece of trash you call King-”

“Drop your weapons, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa’s eyes went wide in surprise and he turned to look at Wooyoung pointing his sword at him. The King scrambled to grab the daggers that he had dropped because of everyone’s attention and he sent one dagger flying in your direction-

You blocked it with your sword but the other dagger that he sent swayed in Seonghwa’s direction and you, out of reflex, blocked the dagger with your body, the sharp object landing near the shoulder-

You almost dropped your sword because of the pain, but Seonghwa dropped his out of surprise because you-

The dagger would have landed in his heart if not for you.

“Go to your King, Seonghwa,” Wooyoung’s voice could have dropped him dead, “And tell him that if he dares call me a traitor like he called Eunyoung without a reason, I will make sure the world sings about his treachery. And don’t you dare touch Eunyoung. You don’t deserve her.”

Seonghwa went to the King in a daze and you looked at him. “Remember what I said last night?” You cried, “I won’t come back to you now. If you learn the entire truth and believe me… come and find me. Don’t show your face otherwise.”

With that, Wooyoung grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out, shutting the door before you two slid into the secret chamber. Wooyoung allowed you to cry until he thought you two were safe and then he rubbed your arm reassuringly. “I can’t take that dagger out now- you’ll lose blood. Can you walk with it?”

“I’ll be fine,” you nodded, wiping your tears. “Let’s go.”

Wooyoung accompanied you all the way to the spot where Yunho and Chaewon would be waiting. When you got inside, Yunho immediately went to get the first aid kit and Chaewon, silently crying at your pale face, made you lie down. Wooyoung and Yunho dressed your wound as you cried silently, Chaewon’s hands in yours assuring you that even if you lost Seonghwa, you had your family back now.

But Seonghwa… you shut your eyes at the thought. He must think of you as a traitor too, and that hurt you the most.

“Stop crying already,” Yunho put a hand on your head, “I missed you.”

You laughed a little, “Thank you for believing in me, Yunho. I’m sorry you had to go through all that you went through.”

“I did that for me, not for you,” he gave you a look and you smiled. “I heard about… Seonghwa.”

“Don’t say his name,” you shut your eyes. “He doesn’t believe me, Yunho. After all that we went through.”

“He’ll come around,” Yunho assured you, “I know he will.”

“He won’t,” you sighed, “And even if he does… I don’t think I’ll find it easy to forgive him.”

“You must understand that he only knew the King’s story this entire time,” Yunho was almost scolding you, “Put yourself in his shoes.”

“Not tonight. Let me hate him tonight,” you muttered and he sighed, nodding.

You’d hate him for tonight. You’d grieve the love you lost from tomorrow.

—-------------

“How many days are you going to waste being unable to think for yourself and actually listen to your friends?” Hongjoong slapped Seonghwa in the back and brought him out of his daze. “How many days do you need to be ready to hear the whole truth?”

“You could be lying,” Seonghwa simply said, “You lied to me all this time too. You could be lying now too.”

“Sure,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, “All your friends are liars- the ones who never lie to you. The King is oh so truthful. You must know that very well, Seonghwa. Can you think of even one lie the King told you or the public?”

He could think of a hundred, but that was different. “You all fooled me. You all must have enjoyed this.”

“Get out of my sight, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong glared at him. “Don’t call me a friend anymore if you think so.”

Seonghwa sighed, slumping further down in his chair. “I just… need time to digest everything. Apparently I’ve been serving a tyrant with a blindfold on my eyes. You have to admit it makes it harder to believe anything now.”

“I understand. But you must believe Eunyoung didn’t lie, don’t you?”

“If she didn’t lie,” Seonghwa began, “Why was she going to kill him?”

“She wasn’t, and I can say that being entirely sure,” Hongjoong said, “She only wanted him to apologise and clear her name. She has served this kingdom longer than you, Seonghwa. She has shed blood for this kingdom and shed her own blood too. She has risked her life numerous times- she was the previous King and Queen’s pride. There’s no proof of that, however, because she is supposed to be invisible to the public, which makes it easier for the King now to twist the truth however he wants.”

“That makes sense,” Seonghwa nodded, “But why would the King send her to Utopia for imprisonment?”

“Because she wouldn’t have friends who’d risk their life to save her there,” Hongjoong let out a sad sigh, “He played us all with that move. And Chaewon… poor soul rotted in the dungeons here for two years, Seonghwa. What crime did she commit other than being a spy’s family?”

“I have to admit that this was cruel,” he nodded, “I can’t imagine what the Utopians must have done to Eunyoung… Hongjoong, I don’t know what to do now. Where’s the proof to clear her name? How can I make the King do that without being sent to Utopia myself?”

Hongjoong eyes glinted and Seonghwa recognised the look in his eyes- he had a plan. “I think the King has shamed our kingdom way too much. I think it’s time he paid for his sins. I can’t let you know of the proof until I’m sure you’re at my side.”

“How do I prove that?”

Hongjoong smiled, “Tell the King you don’t believe a word that came out of his mouth about Eunyoung.”

Seonghwa fell silent. “Give me a night to think it over.”

“Don’t make me regret calling you a friend,” Hongjoong teased but Seonghwa knew he meant it.

He wouldn’t do that. He also wouldn’t make the person he loved regret loving him back.

—----------------

“The King fell,” you looked at Yunho as you threw the chess piece down with your finger, “Who’s the King now?”

“Theoretically,” Yunho was grinning, “The King’s family.”

“And who’s the King’s family? Who shares blood with the King and refuses to admit it?”

“Yours truly,” Yunho took your king piece and put it in the middle, “Regrettably enough.”

“There’s none other who’s fit for the position other than you, Yunho,” Chaewon placed freshly baked scones in front of you two. “Should I start calling you Your Majesty?”

“Oh, shut up,” Yunho ran a hand through his dark hair, “I don’t think I’m up for it. Too much paperwork and a constant headache.”

“I’ll, of course, be in your service then. I hope you don’t pull the shit that trash of a human pulled on me.”

“Send you to the enemy nation as a prisoner? How tempting, don’t you agree, Chaewon dear?”

“Oh, you’re going to have to throw me in your prison then,” Chaewon put a hand on her hips, “And you’d do that? After all the baking I did for you?”

Yunho threw his head back as he laughed. “I’ll appoint you as my personal baker.”

“So you have considered this possibility after all,” you grinned, satisfied and he shook his head.

“Sometimes I forget how good you are at making people answer questions they would never answer out loud,” Yunho sighed, “The King still sits in his chair, doesn’t he?”

“Not for long,” Wooyoung called, reading the paper and sipping on his tea, “I guess Seonghwa does have some good in him after all.”

“Why is he here again?” You looked around, your eyes falling on San, “And why are you always with him?”

“We get along well,” San grinned at Wooyoung and he grinned back, making you roll your eyes.

“We’re back,” Jongho announced, Mingi following behind “With some fruitful harvest, literally.”

“Not the dad jokes again!” Mingi wailed.

You facepalmed as you looked at Yunho and he shook his head. “I love how my house became a free lodging for all of you. You included, y/n.”

“Oh please,” you scoffed, “You love us.”

He didn’t deny, smiling back at you. “I have a favour to ask you. Can you come with me? Outside?”

“Be back before dinner,” Chaewon called as you two left. Yunho and you walked lazily in the garden. He took a deep breath before looking at you.

“Hongjoong tells me the King is stepping down after all. Seonghwa cleared your name after all. He’ll make it public soon.”

That was news to you. You put a hand over your mouth, looking around in disbelief. Seonghwa really had done it for you. Yunho put a hand over your shoulder, patting you reassuringly. “The court is in favour of my reign. I suppose they missed me a little too much while I was gone.”

“That’s… wonderful,” you breathed, “Tell me you’re accepting.”

“On one condition,” he looked nervous. “Come back with me to the castle, Eunyoung,” he used your official name instead of your real, and you understood, “Not as an agent anymore. As my personal advisor. Seonghwa can continue to be my Right Hand. Hongjoong is the court advisor so it can’t be him.”

“Yunho… that’s a very generous offer,” you looked at him with disbelief, laughing when he smiled widely as you considered and you smacked his chest. “You tall giant- you really can’t spend one minute in the castle without me, can you?”

“I miss us- when the King and Queen were alive. Good old times,” Yunho sighed and you nodded- you and Yunho were always leading back then. “I really can’t do this without you.”

“Chaewon… I can’t leave her alone.”

“My personal baker- I wasn’t joking,” Yunho raised a brow as if he dared you to challenge that post and you laughed, nodding, “Everyone’s coming back with me or else I’m handing this nation to a random stranger-”

“Okay, okay,” you laughed. “Let me have a night to think about it. Gosh, you’re such a softie, you’ll make a perfect King.”

Yunho ruffled your hair, “I expect a yes tomorrow. Everyone else has agreed already, by the way. It’s just you and Chaewon now.”

“Don’t pressurise me!” You poked his stomach, urging him to go back inside. You almost reached the door when you heard a carriage. “Were you expecting guests?”

“No,” Yunho frowned. The carriage stopped not far from you and Hongjoong came out, waving. “Should I start calling my humble abode a playground now? Gosh, there comes Yeosang.”

You scoffed, greeting Hongjoong and Yeosang with hugs. “It’s been a while,” Hongjoong said, “Have you been well?”

“You can tell she has,” Yeosang grinned, “Look at her face!”

“Chaewon doesn’t come out of the kitchen,” you grinned, “Everyone’s gotten fat thanks to her.”

“You needed this, you both,” Hongjoong nodded, “Thank god I can’t see your bones now.”

“Come on inside, she’ll have enough for you two too. What brings you here anyway?”

Yeosang and Hongjoong met eyes, looking back at the carriage and waving. The door opened and someone stepped out-

Seonghwa.

“Uh, let’s just go inside, I think I’ll puke if I see the reunion,” Yunho muttered, ushering the two inside. You looked back at them for help, suddenly anxious, glaring at Wooyoung who popped his head out of the window and said, “I’m going to watch the whole thing and tease her for the rest of her life.”

You looked back, almost unable to breathe as Seonghwa stopped a good distance away from you, testing the waters as he smiled. “It’s been a while.”

“What took you so long?” Your voice came out as a whisper.

“I had to make sure everything was perfect back there before I came to take you back,” he said, eyes hopeful. “Come back to the castle, y/n. You belong there.”

You bit your lips. “What about… the King?”

“I made sure he got what he deserved- see for yourself tomorrow. And I… I’m truly so sorry for doubting you even for a second.”

“I’m sorry for putting you in the dark for so long,” you took a step towards him and he took two.

“I’m sorry for doubting your intentions.”

“I’m sorry for doubting your feelings,” you stopped in front of him. “Tell me you believe me, Seonghwa. Tell me you know everything.”

“I do,” Seonghwa nodded, bringing his hand up and stopping for permission which he got in your eyes, finally touching your face and you immediately leaned in to the touch, “And I want to tell you that I still love you for who you are.”

You finally hugged him, crying silently in his arms and he kissed your head repeatedly, holding you tighter than ever, glaring at Wooyoung who was pretending to puke, San covering Wooyoung’s eyes and his own as well. Seonghwa held your face when you broke apart, pushing your hair aside and kissing your forehead.

“I’m sorry that it took so long, my love,” he joined your foreheads, “I did it for you only.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, “I’m sorry for that night. I love you, I hope I didn’t break your heart-”

“You can break my heart a million times, love,” he pecked your lips, “It’s yours to break as you like.”

You shut your eyes and let him kiss you properly, and he held you as if you were fragile for the first time. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back as if you had all the time in the world. You finally felt complete for the first time in your life.

Friends. Family. Love. You had all that you’d ever need.

And as you joined foreheads and your breaths mingled, you told him exactly that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pink lemonade sippin’ on a sunday 🍹

╰─➤ Texture Credit: @/cypher-s

𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

✘ ▬ Précis: You’ve gotten tired of all the college boys on campus none of them make you feel alive so when you were dared to walk into a lavish night club and kiss the first older man that you saw, you didn’t expect to end up falling for him as he shows you a whole new meaning to life through sex, passion, love, danger and adventure.

✘ ▬ Pairing: dilf!San x fem!reader.

✘ ▬ Genre: Smut (18+ only, minors dni) fluff, angst.

✘ ▬ Rating: R.

✘ ▬ AU: College, strangers to lovers, mafia.

✘ ▬ Warnings: san is the head of one of the most dangerous mafias in seoul, age gap (san is thirty, reader is twenty-two. don’t read if you are uncomfortable with that) san addresses reader as his rose, sensation play: use of ice cubes and silk scarves, spanking, orgasm denial, degradation, oral sex (male and female receiving), sensory deprivation: use of blindfold, multiple sex scenes, breeding kink (reader is on birth control), voyeurism.

✘ ▬ Word Count: 10-15k (a goal to reach this tbh)

✘ ▬ Taglist: (Comment or fill out form on my pinned.)

✘ ▬ Writers Note: All likes, reblogs (please reblog it means a lot), and comments are welcomed and appreciated. As a writer, it feels good to know that someone actually enjoys your writing.

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I just wanna sleep for 2 years

---

maybe if i affirm enough, i’ll start to believe it....

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

i don’t find jonah simms attractive

it didn’t work

title; project omen

pairing; hongjoong x f!reader x wooyoung genre/wc; fantasy, hybrid!au, smut; 40.5K… ಥ_ಥ summary; you’ve never been close to your father, so when he passes it doesn’t affect, aside from the residual business that you have to take care of in his absence. exploring his basement uncovers a sealed chamber in a hidden room, a man with what looks like a tail staring back at you. contains; blood, injuries, age gap (100s, if it aint your thing skip thnx), miscommunication, lying, fighting, death mentions, starvation mentions (briefly), funeral, homophobia (in a flashback), mxm, angst, plot heavy, smut: fingering, soft sex, bruising, mc is slightly dominant with Woo, subspace a/n; this is for my bestie @hongism​ whom is getting old so i must celebrate that by creating a fic for her ofc ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ LOVE U BESTIEEE terms: Mul- water | Jigu- earth | Bul- fire | Bohoja- protector/guardian | Hae- sun | Dal- moon

You hated entering your father’s room.

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