Assorted Smoker Headcanons

assorted smoker headcanons

because i'm in love with him (feel free to reblog & add! i need more smoker lovers!)

- born & raised in loguetown, as a kid when he saw roger's execution he originally dreamed of becoming a pirate. however, with the influx of pirates in loguetown in the years after, he watched criminals desecrate his home city, and grew resentful, and so became a marine instead (and over the years lost faith in "good" pirates ever existing)

- isn't very sentimental, but did request the loguetown position for the satisfaction of cleaning the place up himself.

- has two parents alive and well in loguetown, doesn't talk to them much bc he's always busy and then fucks off to the grand line, but they're on good terms.

- i know the dudebros may come for me for this one, but smoker could easily be a bajillion times more deadly than he is (lots of ppl point out he could suffocate people from the inside out or other crazy shit w smoke) but chooses not to. chooses not to be that gruesome. smoke is not naturally offensive, and as he uses it it's only a deterrent to enemies or supplement to his own strength. he refuses to partake in the much more violent capabilities in part because he feels that's what distinguishes him from pirates.

- comes off as cranky, but he just has a love-hate relationship with his job.

- would never say it aloud, but considers tashigi an almost daughter-esque figure. he tries his best for her as both a teacher and colleague, but in the end they really only have each other and have only had each other for years; emotional support and knowing is a given at this point. he doesn't claim to "raise" her, but sometimes it feels a bit like he has.

- that being said, only tashigi is allowed to know his birthday or get him gifts. he usually tries to return the favor for her birthday and one or two major holidays.

- likes to make little rock cairns (like his stack when he's first introduced) on islands they go to. only if he has time and space for it.

- enjoys the sound of water, strangely enough. it's calming and soothes his senses (maybe that's the DF talking?) likes waves, rain, the sound of running water, etc.

- originally planned to be a navigator! he has an excellent sense of direction (thanks to his canonically excellent memory) and was planning to become a navigator as a kid (either for pirates or others)

- still likes to navigate by himself occasionally as commodore/vice admiral, and has gotten his ships out of some crazy weather patterns

- very pretty brown, dark tree bark brown, sunlight through a glass of rum brown, eyes.

- his hair is naturally all white (probs an inherited trait), but he's never met someone who also has naturally white hair

- not very fond of physical touch (except with an S/O that likely has to start small) but is accustomed to people invading his space for good or bad reasons (good reason: tashigi grabbing him for something) (bad reason: anything else)

- that said, he's not fond of PLATONIC physical touch, so if it was romantically intended he's more open to it, but still takes a long time to get accustomed.

- unorthodox cuddling positions.

- probably has a bajillion sleeping disorders so he never sleeps regular hours. but reluctant to take any kind of supplements or medication because he needs to be alert and ready to wake up at a moment's notice, and the one time he tried something like melatonin it knocked him out for 16hrs.

- doesn't laugh often, chuckles a lot, but his laugh is probably a solid belly laugh accompanied by a hand hitting the table.

- ACE SMOKER ACE SMOKER ACE SMOKER

- literally the vice admiral of asexuals HOWEVER i don't think he's totally sex-averse. he had his tumbles in his younger years (hina and drake cough cough) but as he gets older usually attributes less importance to sex and romantic partners - plus he's too fuckin busy.

- so a wildly low sex drive paired with "too busy for life" disease = probably...sex-favorable smoker? either way i want an ace flag w this man's name and face on it

- (may i add pansexual smoker to ace smoker)

- not materialistic, but probs kinda loaded from being a high-ranking marine and never having something to spend his money on?

- motorcycle guy. on the down low, though. he likes bikes and likes riding them (hence why he has one) but rarely gets chances to explore it as a hobby.

- looks like he's grimacing a lot if he doesn't have his cigars but ONLY because his mouth/cheeks are so accustomed to clenching around his cigars that when they aren't there, his facial muscles still tighten and move which usually results in an unintended scowl.

- also for this reason, probably has problems with clenching his jaw a lot, possibly resulting in headaches from time to time

- and FINALLY

- even if he's a big scary pirate hunting bloodhound, and even if it takes him a long time to get accustomed to regular romantic touch - STROKE HIS HAIR. i feel like he'd just die for really good headrubs. don't worry if his hair gets messed up, he'll fix it later, but for the love god let him put his head down and stroke his hair, his neck, his shoulders, and watch vice admiral smoker melt away into a blissful, much-needed nap.

I miss him.......Pre Timeskip Zoro 🥺

since this 10 more have followed me every i come back to 2-4 porn bots following me WHAT IS GOING ON

the sexiest thing a porn bot could do is not fucking follow me

Here's one for the miraak enjoyers

So I’m on AO3 and I see a lot of people who put “I do not own [insert fandom here]” before their story.

Like, I came on this site to read FAN fiction. This is a FAN fiction site. I’m fully aware that you don’t own the fandom or the characters. That’s why it’s called FAN FICTION.

I'm sorry, cringe culture can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause it's dead!