People Are Saying Do It Scared, But You Also Gotta Do It Alone. You'll Miss Out On So Much You Want To

people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.

( ☆ ) — SILVER LOCKET

pairing: chishiya shuntaro x gn!doctor!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, angst, established trust

warnings: none

a/n: s1/beach setting. i really inserted myself as the reader here :sobs: i wanna comfort him so bad TT this is chishiya recognizing his obliviousness and realizing he cares for you hehe

his cold gaze followed your figure through the crowd of people. your unhurried stroll made you stand out amongst the other returning players who filed into the hotel hastily, rushing into the arms of those they lived another day to see. what caught him off guard wasn’t your ambling, but the faraway look on your face. your eyes pointed straight ahead as if there was something in front of you no one else could see. direct, but distant enough not to be confused with determination. you seemed distracted. at least, more than usual. it was as if you were completely disconnected from your surroundings.

“must’ve been a tough game.” kuina muttered through her makeshift cigarette, also taking in your strange behavior.

chishiya didn’t reply. even during particularly difficult games, you always came back surging with relief. tonight should have been no different.

kuina glanced at his furrowed brows in amusement. she chuckled. “if you’re worried, why don’t you go check on them?”

“i’m not worried,” he monotonously retaliated. “they’ll figure it out.”

and with that, the two allies parted ways. kuina took her leave to the mess of partiers near the poolside while chishiya sauntered on back to his room.

pale walls and dim lighting surrounded his path. but at the sound of a hauntingly familiar voice, his personal solace was destroyed.

was that sobbing?

chishiya wasn’t so easily fazed, this was the borderlands after all. except… it was coming from your room. the longer the cries continued, the further the chills travelled down his spine. what had him so affected by your muffled wails?

he halted his movements and listened intently from the other side. it was absolutely breathtaking to hear your carefully manufactured sanity collapse on itself. and behind a closed door no less, as to not alert others, made chishiya feel like he was now responsible for a secret. such noises heard between two people could only equate to intimacy.

and then he remembered the wall was still there.

how fascinating that one person could be aware of both at the same time the other was aware of neither.

cautiousness must have escaped you. otherwise, you would’ve picked a more secure spot to release your pent up sorrows. chishiya could only figure your tears let themselves out before you had a chance to truly process your emotions.

he was not quite sure what force pushed him to softly bang his knuckles against the door. the second he did, the sobs abruptly stopped — much to his dismay.

it wasn’t unlike chishiya to show up at your door unexpectedly, especially after a game. the knocking though, that was new. usually he would silently slither in and purposely startle you to catch you off guard.

“oh. hey, chishiya,” you greeted after opening the door.

he analyzed your appearance, taking note of the damp spots littering the cuff of your sleeve. waltzing in like he owned the place, chishiya took a seat on your bed while you opted to sit on the floor, knees huddled to your chest and your back against the wall. the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the other to say something.

“i used to be a doctor in the real world.” you were the first to break it.

chishiya’s eyebrows raised slightly, indicating wonder, but something held his tongue from responding.

you continued despite his lack of engagement, “going into the field, i knew there were going to be times where i wouldn’t be able to save a life. no matter how much i desperately wanted to.” you paused for a moment and then opened your mouth again, “i guess i eventually got a handle over it back then. but now… i don’t know.” you let out a defeated sigh. “nothing could have prepared me for the mortality we face here. it pains me every time i witness a death that could have easily been prevented. it’s stupid, i know. i just think it’s been catching up to me recently.”

his lips formed a tight line in a sort of acknowledgment. of course you had been a doctor in your previous life. you had the intellect and the emotional capacity perfect for the job. him on the other hand…

chishiya lacked EQ, and he was aware of that. sure, he could evaluate emotions on a surface level and control his own without struggle, but beyond that his sincerity was merely a play. he could sweet-talk his way through the job, hiding his apathy behind an artificial smile. everything about being a doctor — being a human — felt mundane to him.

“i was one too.”

he noticed your face light up and something in his gut squeezed. why did he suddenly feel nervous?

“so, you understand then?”

he shook his head, blond strands heeding the pattern. he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “no… i’m not sure i do.”

you looked at him with confusion and his mouth began to move against his better judgement.

“i don’t care about patients. people in general. i have no interest in their struggles.”

and instead of laughing, instead of insulting him for being insensitive, your eyes held genuine curiosity. why were you acting like this was a normal conversation? like he was a normal human being? it utterly pained him, but that innocent glint only motivated him to proceed.

“i assumed going into healthcare would help me determine if i’m capable of caring for others. but so far it’s only made me feel lost...” he trailed off and stopped himself before he could admit anything else.

your head tilted. “how so?”

chishiya internally kicked himself. even if he hadn’t said much, he didn’t meant to expose himself like that. you could practically see the aggravation radiating off of him as his jaw tensed. he swiftly stood up and avoided your gaze, dismissing the subject. “nothing. never-mind.”

and with that, he turned to leave. your eyes widened. “w-wait. wait, chishiya.” your pleads fell upon deaf ears as he began to turn the handle. “shuntaro.”

you both froze. that was the first time you had used his given name. at first, you instantly felt guilty about it, not knowing if it was appropriate to let that kind of intimacy slip. knowing him, he wouldn’t ever let it go. but you were so close to unlocking the parts of him that he normally kept hidden. you decided it was a risk you had to take.

“why…”

he cut you off, “i’m merely an imitation of human nature. a shell of a human being. it’s not worth trying to pry anything more from me.”

you rolled your eyes. “i think i can decide that for myself.” you grabbed his arm and dragged him back into the room. he was stiff but to your surprise, he gave up fighting back.

“why’d you bother to come here?”

why did he?

this seemed to be the first question chishiya encountered that truly had him stumped. no amount of IQ could solve whatever equation was being presented here. what variable was he missing?

“you’re wrong.”

you hadn’t even muttered anything about it and he was already denying you.

“what? i haven’t—”

“i know what you’re about to think. so don’t say it.”

you shut your mouth; a silent urge to get him to continue. he must’ve already been another step ahead, as he grew quiet too.

you started again, “i think you’re envious of something.”

well, that wasn’t what he had anticipated but you were right nonetheless. you took his silence as a confirmation. “sometimes i wish i could be as apathetic as you. weird, right?” you let out a halfway laugh and shook your head. “maybe it’s an asset in the healthcare world, but here, empathy is a liability. i guess we each want what we don’t have.”

you noticed chishiya frown for a split second before his face returned to a blank slate. “i’m fine.” but it seemed like he was reassuring himself more than convincing you of it.

you hummed. “your philosophy is flawed by the way.” you smirked at his quizzical expression. since when were you able to dissect him so effortlessly? “i know you believe you were only given life to prove something. about what, i don’t really know. you’re complicated, chishiya. but you’re not what you think you’re made out to be.”

chishiya stared at you like you were now some foreign entity with five heads. he scoffed. “i find selflessness pointless and kindness idiotic. i’m a hollowed out version of humanity’s worst flaws.”

you smiled. out of every action you could have taken against him, you smiled. you found his rare vulnerability endearing. but more than that, it comforted you that even people like chishiya, condescending and calculating as he was, could have moments of naïveté just like you.

“flawed, yes—”

he quietly took offense to that.

“every human is flawed. but hollow? yeah, you can be selfish and sociopathic at times. but there’s more to your character than that, you know? not everything about you has to be conventional for you to be human.”

as the moments progressed, you began to get the sense that it wasn’t his ego preventing him from realizing his faults. no, chishiya was scared to be proven wrong.

“you heard me crying. i could see a sliver of your shadow from beneath the door. you waited there for like, 5 minutes at least. i’d say sadistic, but i think that’s what you want us both to think. truth is, it’s not that simple, is it?”

“i told you to stop.”

“not explicitly. you told me i was wrong, which i know is a lie.”

his tone intensified. “what are you hoping to get out of this?”

“not me. you. why did you knock on my door?”

oh, but if he said it aloud, that would make it real. that was what scared him.

you saw the faintest twitch of his muscles relaxing. he felt safe here, in this room. safe, but all the more sullen.

when he came knocking on your door, how did he not see it sooner that it was you knocking through him?

like a silver locket, the guarded surface of his heart witnessed your desperate hand. searching, grasping for any line chishiya would throw your way. and once past the metal bars came your raised fist. your knock reverberated against his heart, echoing throughout the dark chamber.

maybe he was wrong. maybe he wasn’t the only one that felt lost. maybe you had been lost too.

yet, somewhere in that deep labyrinth, somewhere in the midst of his cold warmth, you found place buried between the crevasses.

and somewhere along the way, somewhere along the stethoscope that connected his beating heart to yours, he found you too.

© kzuromi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, translate, etc. reblogs are appreciated!

Stress relief 18+

Your tongue swirls on the his salty tip, fat cock twitching and half hard as you tried to coax it to full mast, dragging your tongue down to the base to suck softly at his balls.

Kenji Sato, the man himself whines, sucking a sharp breathy gasp as he glances down at you with teary eyes.

Brows drawn and pouty lips pursed, he looks like he would actually cry.

Its not like you've been teasing him.

You've got a sadistic flare but you're not cruel. Besides, you were trying to relieve his stress.

He had trudged into your shared bedroom after a hectic day of back to back interviews, baseball practice and saving the city, or at least as much saving he could do half asleep before the KDF came.

A sob and a wail here, a sulky tantrum when you hadn't catch what he said, he's winded himself up even more after an overwhelming day.

So you had to take things into your own hands.

"Are you listening to me at all? Emi's asleep finally, and-"

He goes on and on and on as you smile and nod, walking him to the couch, leaning him back and sliding down between his thighs as if you're going about the day like normal.

It wasn't until you clicked open his belt that he pauses, eyes flicking in confusion from your face to hands before your mouth nips gently over his briefs, taking in his musky scent.

He yelps, flushing red as he struggles between irritation and lust.

"What're you doing...?"

Which brings you to now as you pull off his cock sloppily with a wet pop, finally red and hard as it glistened from your spit.

It swirls with his pre, thick globs dribbling down to the couch.

Your mouth twitches up into a smirk at his whines when you stop.

Eyes glazed and loopy, his mouth lolling open, he definitely looks stress-free right now.

"Feels good, Ken?"

You murmur against his swollen tip, hot breath causing him to flinch and twitch.

"Yea...s'gud baby..."

##. MY HEART'S GOING LUB-DUB

♡ things he has said that flustered you.

♡ contents and warnings: established relationships, mentions of making out (nirei), mentions of marriage (sakura), reader’s ears are pierced in suou’s, mild, mild, possessiveness in suou's but not really 🐧

♡ characters: sakura haruka, nirei akihiko, suou hayato (x gn! reader)

Anyone who knows SAKURA HARUKA probably knows that contrary to the delinquent facade he puts up, he is actually quite innocent. A little naive, if you will, blushing at every show of romantic affection. And everyone in Boufuurin knows that’s why he’s become subject to Suou Hayato’s teasing when the brown haired boy needed a good chuckle. And of course, you, as his very lovely partner, had to also jump on the bandwagon of endearingly poking fun at your boyfriend. 

“Y’know, Haruka, you should stop me or else I’m gonna get carried away and keep teasing you even after we get married!” This was a sentence you often say for laughs after you had yet again successfully made Haruka agitated and his cheeks flushing a deep shade of red, all the way up to his ears. Granted, the first time he heard it he couldn’t look you in the eye for two whole days at the mention marriage (it’s not that he doesn’t like it, in fact it was because he likes it a little too much that he couldn’t even make eye contact without imagining you in fancy white attire). But now, he barely bats an eye at it now with how often you say it. But today, it’s evident that that particular sentence had poked at someone’s curiosity as you can sense someone staring at you as you banter with your boyfriend. 

“You know, Sakura-kun, I barely see you reacting to... that. You’re really planning to marry them in the future, huh?” Ah, it's Suou again. His soothing voice drips with mischief, the purpose of his question is obviously to tease his heterochromatic eyed peer yet again. Haruka’s features morph into one of confusion, brows furrowed as he turns to face his vice captain. 

“Hah? What are you talking about?” Haruka inquires like suou’s question is the most ridiculous question in the world. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought suou was asking him if he believed pigs could fly, or if the earth was actually a hexagon. 

(Of course, you can’t lie, suou’s question made you nervous despite how lighthearted he said it. Your self consciousness has already prepared itself for a heartbreak trip as you await your boyfriend to continue his response.)

“Why would I date someone I don’t intend on marrying?” 

Ah, now it’s your cheeks that are heating up. 

“Are you done?” The only answer SUOU HAYATO offers to your inquiry is a focused hum. His hand fumbles with the earring, his earring, as he tries to carefully slide the hook into the small hole on your right earlobe. Though, you have to say, you have nothing particular to complain about as you wait for your boyfriend to put the earring on you. After all, you’re getting the privilege of being in the front seat staring at Suou Hayato’s face as he carefully tries to put the earring on you. Lips pursed and eyes squinted a little, he looks extra handsome when he’s focused, you note. 

“Just need to secure them with the back. And... done!” he heaves out a breath as triumph takes over his features, pulling back slightly to admire his (hardly) hard work. His lips stretch into a smile, satisfied at how the red and yellow of his earring highlights your features more. 

“How does it look?” you feel quite nervous as you wait for his reply, shyly peering at him through your eyelashes. Being so close, you have the advantage of watching closely for any twitch of his features that might indicate satisfaction, dissatisfaction, anything that can indicate what kind of reaction he’s going to emit. 

You twitch slightly at the sensation of his pointer finger and middle finger grazing your chin, touch gentle as he settles them there. You swear you see something flashing in his usually gentle ruby eyes. Something akin to satisfaction, or, even, possessiveness. But you don't comment on it. He moves your head from your side to side as if to examine you thoroughly. (he quietly notes how cute you are for compliantly moving your head.) It’s only when you feel the earring faintly brushing against your right shoulder that you become hyper aware of how empty your left ear feels without an earring weighing it down. You also become hyper aware of the fact that the earring’s pair is still dangling from his left ear, eyes instinctively flitting to it. Your cheeks begin to heat up. Oh, it’s almost as if you’re wearing a couple ite-

He interrupts your thought before you can finish it.

“I quite like it, it’s pretty on you,” his voice breaks your train of thought. His smile is quite literally dripping with mischief, and now you can clearly see it. The tint of greed in his eyes is back as he moves his fingers that were formerly resting on your chin to stroke at the earring on your ear. His composed facade would have fooled you if it weren’t for the words he utters next.

“It gives off the feeling that you’re mine.” 

Oh he likes it, alright. Too much, maybe.

“Sorry. D’you need a break?” NIREI AKIHIKO’s voice is devoid of any teasing lilt, instead dripping with concern as he gazes at you through his eyelashes, eyes half lidded and cheeks flushed with a pretty tint of pink. 

It’s not the words by themselves. It’s the fact that he’s saying those words in this kind of situation. By this kind of situation, you mean with you perched up on his lap, legs splayed on either side of his thighs as he lay seated on a couch beneath you. He had uttered those exact words after what felt like 10 minutes straight of kissing

(it hadn’t even been 5 minutes, but you could barely think with how clouded your mind is). 

His question was thoroughly leaking with worry, caramel orbs boring through you as he awaits your reply. You wanted to say yes, hell, your lungs were begging you to say yes as they heaved desperately yes. You have to give your boyfriend credit, though. Sweet like always, he had noticed he had gone a little too far when he felt your lips part with breathless whines on his, and had asked if you needed a time out. Though, you don’t think he’s aware of how his voice shakes with want, or how his fingers that are resting on your hips squeezed hard like he was trying to ground himself, or how his eyes are swirling with something akin to need.

(or how he barely sounded apologetic when he apologized, and you suspect it’s because his pride soars with the knowledge that he’s the one making you breathless.)

“No,” you’re surprised at how hoarse your voice sounds, though, that is to be expected after you quite literally just had your breath taken away. Your thumb reaches out to swipe at his quivering bottom lip, gleaming with saliva and a little swollen from pressing against yours repeatedly. He leans into your touch, and you gulp away the feeling of your tugging heartstrings. “Keep kissing me, lover boy.” 

And as he lurches forward to clash your lips together again, the last thought that etches on your mind was that he really should put this on his resume: Nirei Akihiko, 16, not good at fighting (yet), hella good at kissing. 

simon swore up and down he’d never want kids, he was certain he’d end up just like his old man and he would rather die than let a child grow up how he did. he tells you, “look at the state of me, yeah? not exactly father material, am i? i’m tapped in the head, ‘ts not fair to give a kid any of that.” as he taps his temple with his pointer finger.

years pass, and those words echo in your mind as he holds your chubby baby in his rough hands, one gently splayed on their soft tummy while the other supports their head. he’s gently suspending your baby in the air, mimicking helicopter noises as they squeal and giggle happily. simon has the biggest grin on his face as your 3 year old begs him to let them have a turn as a rileycopter, small hands tugging on his cargo pants with pouty lips.

not exactly father material, simon? you beg to differ.