In Defense Of Chloe Decker

In defense of Chloe Decker

Chloe is a detective. She’s used to looking for evidence. When she sees the hard evidence of Lucifer’s face, she goes to find more evidence to help explain what she saw because finding evidence of things is how she distances herself from emotional turmoil. How many times has something upsetting or emotionally devastating happened to Chloe where her immediate response is “Let’s get back to work” or “I just want to focus on work.” Is it healthy? Probably not. Is it realistic? Um, hell yes it is.

She’s tormented by the idea that all the evidence she has of Lucifer being a fundamentally good person has been a lie. A lie she told herself because she has feelings for him. Not only have the men in Chloe previous romantic relationships lied to and betrayed her–she has lied to herself to excuse them. Think about it: she has evidence that Pierce is a dick (the things he says, the things he does, giving Dan that washed-up cops union rep position). She doesn’t like him at all in the beginning. She must deceive herself about some of that initial reaction later to make a relationship even possible. This completely echoes her relationship with Lucifer. Going from “I find you repulsive” to “I love you” is a pretty freaking huge leap, you know?

Remember, Chloe sees Lucifer’s face like right after she realizes she had been about to marry a freaking crime lord who convinced her utterly that he loved her. Like. 24 hours later. Her terror and confusion are justified. 

And what’s a crime lord to the Devil? Talk about freaking escalation. Dan was a dirty cop who lied to and gaslighted her; Pierce was a dirty cop … who was also a crime lord and also the world’s first murderer who lied to and gaslighted her; Lucifer is the goddamned Devil, societal embodiment of all things evil. Chloe, like a real person, has huge insecurities. Hers center around being loved/being lovable/being left/being used. If you can’t take a step back and imagine the last few years of Chloe’s life from her perspective, I don’t know what to tell you. She might not handle things as well as Linda (debatable), but Jesus, she’s trying, and she’s doing a lot better than, oh, most reasonable people would in her position.

Father Kinley plays on this. Remember, he’s been researching Lucifer for a long time. He knows exactly what to say to convince her. He knows exactly which books to show her. His voice is a slow-dripping poison in her ear, and everything he says trickles right down into the broken heart of a woman who has spent her entire adult life being lied to and left by the men she’s chosen. The evidence says she cannot trust her choices.

The things Kinley says are absolutely devious and absolutely devastating. Lucifer is funny and charming and kind–but it’s a lie. Lucifer will adjust his ploys to ensnare you more completely–and the first thing he says when she arrives boils down to “I adjusted the over-the-top date from last time to grilled cheese, the kind you like. I made you a playlist of music I think is silly because you like it.” He only bleeds around her to make her pity him.

Chloe is not weak or stupid or cruel or mean. If she hadn’t questioned and hadn’t walked this path, she could never have gotten to the point she gets to with Lucifer by the end of the season. And it all refers back to that first conversation she has with Ella about faith. In this case, Chloe’s faith–not in God, but in her own objectivity–has been rocked really damn hard. 

ALSO, and I think this is super important and I’m not sure I’ve seen it mentioned yet–when Chloe does almost pour the contents of the vial into Lucifer’s glass but knocks the glass over instead, she goes over the freaking top with her apologies. How many times has she seen Lucifer’s bar and Lucifer’s club in various states of destruction? Her apology is not for spilling the wine or breaking the glass. She is apologizing so profusely because she almost did something she considers reprehensible to someone she cares about. She has so so so many conflicting feelings. It’s tearing her apart just as much as the later events of the season nearly tear Lucifer apart.

Chloe’s journey this season precisely mirrors Ella’s story from that first conversation about God. Ella said, “My aunt was a nun, okay? And she always taught me that doubt was really important. Right? I mean, if you don’t question something, then what’s the point of believing it? Mm-hmm. I doubt so that I can believe.”

Chloe’s not doubting the existence of the Devil so she can believe in the Devil or God or celestials or Big Stuff beyond her comprehension. She’s doubting her love for the Devil so she can believe her love for the Devil is real. Even the painful steps are steps forward and steps that were necessary for her to take to make sure the love she feels going forward is, as Lucifer and Chloe have both raised concerns about in the past, real.

The last.

Temperamentally Lucifer reminds me acutely of a cat. A dumb. Dramatic. Very needy (and very in denial about it) Cat.

I mean.

Even his excellent qualities are pretty catlike. He stalks and hunts like a cat, definitely; no wasted movement, not afraid to be patient and wait for the right opening, very sharp claws wings. Meeting his eyes is part threat, part domination. (“Oh, gosh, I detest cats. Want an animal to stare at you with contempt? Get a cat.” Lucifer, please. 68% of your time is spent staring at things contemptuously. My cat also hates other cats. In fact, I am pretty sure my cat thinks he is a human.)

You know how cats always seem to go to the person in the room who hates cats the most? Season 1 Chloe, presented without comment.

He often recoils from physical touch and affection when someone else initiates it but is warm and enthusiastic when he initiates it himself. Chloe reaching for his wing scars? You know it’s exactly the reaction a cat has when you go to pet its tummy.

Lucifer is fastidious. Always perfectly groomed, can’t stand being rumpled or looking less than his best. Applies to himself, his environment, his club, his car, other people, tidiness. Very bonded with one person and will put up with and even maybe like other people because of that person? Will fucking destroy anyone who messes with his people, his property, his home?

Mmmhmm. Cat.

The entirety of the sleep deprivation sequence in “Angel of San Bernadino” is basically a cat on catnip at 3 in the morning when everyone else is trying to sleep. Wheeeeee.

Hedonistic? Cat. Nocturnal? Caaat. Doesn’t like kids? A lot of cats. Somehow always manages to land on his feet? Would push your buttons (or something off a table) just to get a reaction? Makes toys of things not supposed to be toys? Only wants the best, most expensive cat food and god forbid you use cheap litter? Stubborn? Does things when he pleases? Clearly superior to every other creature in the universe? Both attracted and repelled by humans? Basically domesticates himself?

Meow.

omg why do white ppl love cheese so mu-

every time they’re on the piano he always looks at her so softly aaa. Day 5 of I can’t stop drawing them  💪 😭 💪

It’s the Dose that Makes the Poison: Lucifer Thoughts and Speculation

I’m going to throw the entirety of this under a cut because spoilers. I’ve been rearranging the pieces on the table and I have some meta and a plausible(?) theory about how things might shake out.

…this is almost four thousand words long, and frankly? I feel I’ve barely grazed the surface.

Also, I put it on AO3 for ease of reading and/or in case anyone wants to have, idk, threaded conversations ;D

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