Avaults - Anna

i. january it’s easy to fall back into old habits, but it’s far more rewarding to learn from them. ii. february you are capable of far more than you believe. spend your days breaking barriers you didn’t even know existed. iii. march mortality is fragile; he knew it, and you know it. there’s nothing you could have done to save someone who didn’t want to be saved. iv. april sometimes, you have to take responsibility for things you didn’t do in order to maintain necessary peace. v. may goodbyes are never easy; as your heart is ripped apart, remember they’re headed off to change the world. the opportunities are endless. be excited for them. vi. june don’t be afraid to trust; although others have torn you to shreds, the way he looks at you with soft eyes should make you believe he is different. he’s after your heart; give it to him. vii. july even an ocean between you two can’t stop the love you feel for him. no amount of vodka can drown it; learn to accept your feelings. viii. august it’s okay to put faith in your own judgements. your gut feeling is normally right, so listen to what it tells you. ix. september when you are patient, good things will come. don’t lose hope just because there’s a wait. x. october it’s important to know when to stop waiting and take matters into your own hands. if you want to know the taste of his lips, stop complaining and find out for yourself. xi. november kiss him whenever you can and tell him you love him with your words and without. take advantage of the time you have together because, soon, thousands of miles will separate you. xii. december stop holding back who you are, and allow yourself to be vulnerable for once. it will pay off, dear.

writing prompt #73: Write about the lessons you learned this year. // lemonadeangelwriting (via wordsnquotes)

•simplicity• by xnnxvs featuring white super skinny jeans

Pastel + BF Jeans // Sapphire by flower-crown-gurls featuring a pastel outfit ❤ liked on Polyvore

MaxMara sleeveless silk blouse, €520 / Boyfriend fit jeans / Hollister Co. canvas trainers, €39 / Ted Baker white cross body purse, €120 / Pink gold jewelry, €4,57 / Escalier south sea pearl pendant, €940 / Accessorize stretch jewelry, €20 / Peach jewelry, €2.100 / LMNT uv protection glasses, €44 / Boohoo tech accessory, €8,76 / Palette makeup, €13 / L Oréal Paris mascara / Eyeliner, €4,37 / Marc Jacobs edt perfume, €53 / Fresh lip treatment, €26 / Shiny nail polish, €16

Writing isn’t just sitting down and word-vomitting.

It’s plotting your story, coming up with the characters and their personalities, coming up with their interactions, setting the mood, thinking of the right words to say for someone like that in that type of situation, wondering if your character is doing something that is out of character, wondering if you’ve managed to describe them the way you see them in your head.

It’s sitting down and struggling to bring those characters to life. 

It’s questioning yourself and getting that suffocating feeling in your chest when you think about your own writing.

It’s somehow managing to put all of that into words and then editing your own writing time and time again because you’re scared of the reaction you’re going to get from nameless strangers.

It’s questioning your own word choices, your own phrasing, your knowledge of the language, your ability to tell this story that’s been in your head for days, weeks, months, sometimes even longer.

It’s questioning if you’re good enough to put those thoughts into words, it’s questioning if those words are good enough.

Writing is never feeling like you did a good enough job at putting down those characters and events into words, it’s doubting yourself every step of the way.

It’s clicking that post button and then waiting in fear of the reaction.

Writing is sometimes not getting a reaction at all.

It’s going through the tags and finding a back-handed compliment that makes you want to cry because it just proves that your insecurities are true and that you shouldn’t be writing in the first place, that you’re not good enough.

It’s getting negative feedback because you didn’t write what some nameless person wanted to read, it’s getting hate because you decide to tell your own story in your own words.

It’s getting hate because you decided to include or not to include a smut scene in your story.

It’s getting constant asks about updates that make you feel that you’re not worth anything to your readers, that you’re there as a robot that’s meant to sit and be quiet and produce content that they like otherwise you’ll get punished with constant asks and hate.

Writing is waiting for feedback that never comes, which makes you doubt yourself. Writing is watching other people get more feedback, which makes you want to stop writing. Writing is getting feedback, but seeing other people not get feedback, which makes you feel guilty, and makes other writers resent you and exclude you from everything.

All in all, writing is giving a large number of nameless people a part of yourself in a story that took you a long time to come up with and put into words, but also giving them the power to give their feedback, ignore your story, or spew negativity your way. 

But, writing is a talent and I’m proud of you for writing despite all of that. You’re good enough and your efforts aren’t going to waste. You’re getting better at writing with every story you write. Regardless of the kind of content you write, regardless of the length, the genre, the feedback, the notes, the reblogs, the mentions… You’re good enough, you have a talent, and I’m happy you’re choosing to share it with the world. Don’t let the lack of feedback or negative feedback bring you down. Don’t let it turn you against other writers. Do what you love doing and the rest will come. All in good time.