And The Elaborate Fanfiction World I've Created Around The Comfort Character I'm Obsessed With

And the elaborate fanfiction world I've created around the comfort character I'm obsessed with

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Seahorse Dads vs the World: Societal, Mental, and Emotional Struggles in Pregnant Transgender Men

When Thomas Beatie, a transgender man, publicly announced his pregnancy, he became the center of attention in the media for the duration of his pregnancy. His experience generated questions surrounding sexuality, gender, and their roles in parenting. Most importantly, it brought up the issues regarding societal views on pregnancy: is it purely feminine? How should we treat men that choose to bear a child? While widely ignored in literature, transgender pregnancy is not impossible and should be discussed when addressing LGBT discrimination and treatment. Because transgender men experience struggles such as gender dysphoria and medical discrimination, pregnancy can elevate stress and anxiety originating from societal backlash and invalidation of gender identity. Since societal views on pregnancy are purely feminine, these mental battles transgender men have within themselves surrounding pregnancy are further enhanced. 

Gender dysphoria is a common struggle transgender individuals face- especially during pregnancy for transgender men. Because this issue is so strong in most transgender people, the daily lives of these people can be negatively impacted. A study conducted by Hoffkling and colleagues explored the impacts of pregnancy to transgender men, with one person stating that they “just didn’t like leaving the house at all because [they] knew that [they were] going to be read as a pregnant female.” Being read as the incorrect gender is a real fear trangender individuals face, which can further impact how they are treated by others in social situations. Gender dysphoria results in mental distress that can lead to depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Because these issues are common, a great concern regarding those that experience gender dysphoria is self harm, isolation, and suicide which can easily be avoided if societal views on transgender individuals and their struggles were changed and taught about. Societal factors impact mental health just as much as internal views on gender and appearance; regarding medical situations, these injustices may further the mental distress and distrust these people regularly encounter. 

A situation transgender individuals can face is unfair treatment by medical staff. Medical discrimination restricts access to quality care to transgender individuals, especially pregnant men that are entering a clinic that is not educated on transgender issues and needs. Since pregnant transgender men have a uterus and ovaries, they are expected to go to an OBGYN for prenatal visits; they are exposed to a hyper-feminine environment where terms that can cause immense dysphoria are regularly used. Various offenses are common in these environments, one being how medical staff “[Ignore] intake forms that ask patients’ gender” (Hoffkling et al.). Nurses and doctors refusing to make an effort to address their transgender patients by their name and pronouns causes distrust and anxiety in the medical environment. This distrust can cause the individual to neglect their health and refuse to see a professional out of fear of being treated like the gender they are not. 

The lack of training in medical staff negatively impacts both the care the professional is trying to provide and the care the individual receives; the professional cannot provide adequate care in good faith if they do not have knowledge on how to treat that specific group. In turn, the patient cannot expect proper care from their provider. As trangender individuals seek care, they may come across providers that refuse to treat them. One individual reported “[he] had heard many times over that [providers] felt uncomfortable with [him]... so [he thought] that they were afraid of helping” (Hoffkling). Because a pregnant individual requires active and proper care, any discomfort from medical providers can deter a patient from seeking said care. Aside from care for pregnant men that want to keep their pregnancy, care for those that want abortions are just as difficult to manage. Men that seek abortions are met with the same issues as those that must frequently visit an OB for prenatal visits, with some men reporting “feelings of exclusion and discomfort” (Charlton et al.). Alongside the present issues regarding abortion among women in a medical environment, men also face discrimination and struggles relating to the access of and care after the procedure. The stress from needing an abortion is already present alongside the dysphoria of the fact they need an abortion in the first place. Abolishing gender in regards to abortion and pregnancy would in turn lead to a more comfortable and forgiving environment to men that find themselves in need of medical care.  

Mental health is important during pregnancy, especially in transgender individuals that are already predisposed to depression and anxiety. A factor of mental health in pregnant trangender men is directly impacted by the societal views of those around them; if they are viewed as women, they will be uncomfortable and dread being seen day by day. Anxiety from the fear of being treated as a woman can further cause isolation and depression. The societal impact on gender dysphoria is rooted in the idea that pregnancy is purely a female experience which then leads to heightened anxiety, depression, and dread surrounding the concept of pregnancy. It is seen as “body horror” or “horrifying” to some men as they are aware of the way people will see them and in turn treat them during pregnancy. (Charlton, et al.). This internal fear disrupts daily life as they may avoid certain situations to avoid becoming pregnant or avoid being seen as pregnant. Sex with cis men may be a point of fear alongside any opportunity they may have to take a pregnancy test which can lead to sexual isolation and repulsion to any intimate encounters with those that may accidentally impregnate them. Apart from sexual isolation to avoid pregnancy, average social interaction may be impacted in trangender men that are already visibly pregnant. In a study conducted by Ellis and colleagues, they concluded that “loneliness was the overarching theme that permeated participants’ experiences, social interactions, and emotional responses” during pregnancy. As it is a common issue among most pregnant men, it is understandable to assume societal views on pregnancy are what cause most of the anxiety and fear in dysphoric transgender men. 

Anxiety stretches beyond the individual's health, but also to the health of the fetus. Stress can impact the weight of the fetus, alongside elevating the risk of preterm labor and “might produce lasting effects on behavioral and neurocognitive development” (Vans Amesfoort et al.). These risks can easily be avoided if stress is reduced and medical care is frequent. However, as medical providers cause discomfort and the hyper-feminine environment of an OBGYN's office results in anxiety, it is redundant as the medical system itself is not made to care for transgender individuals. Societal views on pregnancy can reverse these common stressors by separating the idea of femininity from pregnancy. 

Gender dysphoria cannot be avoided during pregnancy since the idea is so heavily tied to the concept of womanhood; however, those that are surrounded by a supportive environment report having positive experiences and reduced gender dysphoria as their pregnancy was not inherently seen as a female process. As one participant in the study by Hoffkling and colleagues reported, as they told others of their pregnancy “it was really nice, how ridiculously excited [their peers] were for [them].” The positive reception results in a less stressful and happier pregnancy which then leads to a healthier pregnancy. Positive reinforcement from family and friends provides support to men struggling with gender dysphoria that can make the duration of their pregnancy enjoyable and just as normalized as a cisgender woman’s pregnancy would be. 

Normalizing male pregnancy is crucial to alleviating any anxiety a man would have towards the experience. Starting with medical staff, education on the care for transgender men, especially those experiencing pregnancy, is necessary to further destigmatize parenting as a transgender individual. Education for nurses regarding transgender pregnancy has proved worthwhile, with one study resulting in a positive outcome after training nurses in transgender care. The following was concluded after training staff for caring for pregnancy in transgender men:

Findings suggest the training improved nursing staff's self-reported knowledge and skills in providing gender affirming care to pregnant transgender men over time, with participants demonstrating improved knowledge about communication around pronouns, gender identity, reproductive systems, and obstetric history. (Chu et al.)

These findings support the notion that education on the topic of transgender pregnancy improves the overall attitude and care that the staff provides to their patient. With medical staff being educated, it is likely that their patients will experience an easier pregnancy and have less stress over having to attend obstetric appointments in the future. This alleviated stress results in a healthier pregnancy and a positive experience for the patient. 

While training has shown positive results, most transgender men that seek care from professionals still uphold the idea that transphobia and invasion of privacy is to be expected. The notion that mistreatment in medicine is normal is what leads transgender men seeking reproductive care to become anxious or fearful of their provider. This fear has been brought to light in recent years as men like Thomas Beatie have come out to recount his experience in pregnancy and the treatment that he got from his peers and medical providers. As more men come out with their stories and their concerns, the idea of male pregnancy becomes less odd and more normal. Destigmitizing trangender pregnancy would result in more men being comfortable with their reproductive capabilities and would lead to them having more trust in medical providers. As medical literature begins to evolve to include transgender men, we also begin to see a shift in public attitude towards the matter. 

It is widely accepted in medicine that gender is not equivalent to sex assigned at birth; because of this, medical providers are exposed to the existence of transgender patients and surface-level training on how to care for them properly. This training does not stretch to pregnancy, however, which leads the community of transgender men to become isolated and mistreated once found out to be pregnant and in need of medical attention. One participant in a study conducted by Vans Amesfoort and colleagues reported feeling “invisible” throughout the duration of the pregnancy due to constant misgendering and transphobia that was sparked by his pregnant appearance (Amsefoort et al.). Isolation and invisibility are very common reports by men experiencing pregnancy as they are rarely greeted with comfort and kindness by those around them which further increases predisposition to postpartum depression. Although sex and gender are not equal, societal views on them are the same. 

Medical staff are responsible for the care of transgender men seeking medical attention during their pregnancy; it is important they are properly trained on the care and acceptance of those patients. Medical literature is limited in regards to pregnant men which results in confusion from those that might not have been exposed to the concept before. Because there is little information on the history and proper care for this community, both medical staff and the average cisgender person might be afraid to approach or care for a pregnant transgender man. This results in feelings of isolation and despair which can be detrimental to both the patient and their fetus. In order to improve the attitude concerning transgender pregnancy, we need to take the first step to properly study how societal backlash affects transgender men during pregnancy. This matter is contained within the overall issue of LGBT rights and care and should be dealt with just as diligently as gay marriage is treated. Until the media and medical literature display the true nature of transgender pregnancy and the negative experiences pregnant men have from their treatment by uneducated individuals, this issue will continue to prevail and remain demonized.

Works Cited

Charlton, Brittany M et al. “Unintended and teen pregnancy 

experiences of trans masculine people living in the United States.” 

International journal of transgender health vol. 22,1-2 65-76. 13 Oct. 2021, 

doi:10.1080/26895269.2020.1824692

Chu, Hillary et al. “Providing gender affirming and inclusive care to transgender men

experiencing pregnancy.” Midwifery vol. 116 (2023): 103550. 

doi:10.1016/j.midw.2022.103550

Ellis, Simon Adriane et al. “Conception, pregnancy, and birth experiences of male and 

gender variant gestational parents: it's how we could have a family.” Journal 

of midwifery & women's health vol. 60,1 (2015): 62-9. 

doi:10.1111/jmwh.12213

Hoffkling, Alexis, et al. "From erasure to opportunity: a qualitative study of the  

experiences of transgender men around pregnancy and recommendations for 

providers." BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, vol. 17, no. Suppl 2, 8 Nov. 2017. 

Gale Academic OneFile, 

link.gale.com/apps/doc/A513802340/AONE?u=tel_a_nsti&sid=summon&xid

=c299ce79. Accessed 16 Nov. 2023.

Vans Amesfoort, J, et al. "The Barriers and Needs of Transgender Men in Pregnancy 

and Childbirth: A Qualitative Interview Study." ScienceDirect, May 

2023, sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0266613823000232?via%3Dihub. 

Accessed 13 Nov. 2023.

congrats on reaching the top 3... I hope I get on the list someday 😔

guys i was ranked as #2 most annoying swiftie by someone on twitter. i think i should be #1 but i'll let it slide

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posts like these make me want to get a real ADHD diagnosis ASAP because I thought everyone did this. Well to be fair my mom said everyone in her family did it-

Hold up

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)