The Minecraft Movie Looks Like Dogshit, The Most Dogshit Of Dogshit Movie Trailers I've Ever Seen

The Minecraft movie looks like dogshit, the most dogshit of dogshit movie trailers I've ever seen

BUT

Did you know that the movie uses no green screens or animations?

That's right. Everything you unfortunately saw, was real.

It was crafted out of the Wall of Flesh beneath Warner Bros Studios. They just scoop a bunch out to mold into whatever they need. It's like claymation but the clay has a heartbeat.

Since no one should watch it, I'm just going to spoil the ending. The live-action actors actually get assimilated into the flesh wall and become minecraft-ified and stay in the Minecraft world. It's so real John Carpenter's the Thing shit.

So yeah, this is Jack Black's last movie. Wish him well, his ego will not survive the process

Thinking about Fischl, specifically in reference to The Wizard of Oz

I used to think that that was what she was primarily referencing, but there were some very well-written dissections connecting her more to Norse mythology and stuff

But why don't I just do it anyway? It's just for fun either way

But before I get to Fischl, I want to connect some other relevant characters to Oz as well. Mostly people that are paired with Fischl often: Noelle, Bennett, and Barbara. Unfortunately, no Razor. I don't know where to fit him in, so I figured keeping him out would be more respectful than making him fuckin Toto.

NOELLE as The Scarecrow

The Scarecrow's issue is that he wants to be wise, but he, quite literally, lacks the brains to be so. Of course, the twist is that, even without a brain, he had wisdom all along. I feel like that encapsulates Noelle very well. Her deal is that she wants to be a Knight of Favonius, but she never makes the cut. So she constantly studies and helps others, trying to gain a "brain," if you will. Of course, my reading (/headcanon) is that she was always capable enough to be a Knight, and it was an external issue that stopped her. A bonus point is that, in the book, the Scarecrow is a stand-in for the common farmer, looked down upon for not being "educated," but has the valuable skill of common sense. And I think we can extend that metaphor to low ranking jobs, like maids. You see where I'm going with this.

BENNETT as the Tin Woodsman

The Woodsman, while kind and gentle, desires a heart, so he can feel love. Bennett, because of his bad luck, feels like he drives everyone away, and he is in search of friends and connections. He wants people to like him, and just like the Woodsman, they both always had it from the very beginning.

BARBARA as the Cowardly Lion

This one's a doozy. The Cowardly Lion wishes to have courage like how lions are commonly portrayed. Barbara is of the Gunnhildr clan, (also associated with lions) but she was never able to display the strength necessary to satisfy her mother. So she always felt like she came short of the expectation of what she should have been. But even now, as a Pegg and a pacifist, she has always been worthy. She displays her noble nature through her kindness and compassion for helping others.

(Mihoyo did her dirty and she deserves better)

FISCHL as Dorothy AND The Wizard of Oz

Fischl is complicated because I feel like she is able to embody both Dorothy and the titular Wizard, Oz. In Oz, Fischl likes to portray herself as the great and powerful Prinzessin, but in reality, she is acting out that role. Now, the book paints Oz out as a conman, the adult who tells lies, but I'd rather not say that's what Fischl is. What she is doing is harmless, and she should be allowed to do it. Where you might put the conman part is in people's reactions to her. Her parents most certainly don't support her Fischl side, feeling like "the lie" has gone on too long. And that brings us to Dorothy, the young girl from Kansas, swept up by a tornado, who just wants to go home. "Home," in Fischl's case, isn't literal (one would sure hope not), but rather a place where she can be herself and be respected for what she chooses to do with her life. The Found Family, mwah 🤌 And the way home had been by her side all along.

Looking at this, I'm wondering how much of this is intentional, because it hasn't escaped me that a tornado was the inciting incident that lead Dorothy to The Land of Oz. And... well... Mondstadt. The place associated with wind. Yeah.

Anyway, not sure if you can connect other characters to the book, but I'll always encourage others to try.

I can't wait for a 9 page essay on how Diluc is the Bumpy Man. 👍

watching @nanowrimo within a single hour:

make an awful, ill-conceived, sponsored post about "responsible"/"ethical" uses of ai in writing

immediately get ratio'd in a way i've never seen on tumblr with a small swarm of chastising-to-negative replies and no reblogs

start deleting replies

reply to their own post being like 'agree to disagree!!!' while saying that ai can TOTALLY be ethical because spellcheck exists!! (???) while in NO WAY responding to the criticisms of ai for its environmental impact OR the building of databases on material without author consent, ie, stolen material, OR the money laundering rampant in the industry

when called out on deleting replies, literally messaged me people who called them out to say "We don't have a problem with folks disagreeing with AI. It's the tone of the discourse." So. overtly stated tone policing.

get even MORE replies saying this is a Bad Look, and some reblogs now that people's replies are being deleted

DISABLE REBLOGS when people aren't saying what nano would prefer they say

im juust in literal awe of this fucking mess.

Columbina 5 seconds later:

Thinking about giving Columbina a Paradise Lost ass backstory

Girl just really likes apples

Btw, La Signora is bad ending Cinderella

Bye