Tony: How About You, Kiddo? What Do You Want?

Tony: How about you, kiddo? What do you want?

Peter: I want peace of my mind. To stop thinking about the inevitable deaths of my loved ones and that I'll have to bury them someday, and to stop crying myself to sleep every night.

Tony:

Peter:

McDonald's employee on speaker: I'm afraid we don't have that, sir.

Peter: Guys, could you help me with my assignment? We need to list why water is beneficial to us.

Steve: Well, if you want to lose weight, you can drink water.

Bucky: Need to relieve headaches? Drink water.

Tony, gesturing to himself: Clean face? Drink water.

Natasha: Tired of a person? Drown them.

Everyone in the lounge area:

Bucky: ...Y'know, Nat's solution applies to my problem as well, depending on the context.

Steve talking with Peter about queer-platonic relationships: Huh. What are the limits to this relationship, then? I get that there's platonic hugs and kisses, but what sets as the boundary line?

Sam: I think if you stick a finger up my ass I don’t think its platonic no more.

Steve:

Peter:

Sam:

Steve: Why would I stick a finger up your ass?

Peter in the corner, only wanting to inform, on the verge of tears:

Clint: Happy Father's day!

Peter: I hope my father's happy from 6 feet below, I wonder what entertainment he has down there.

Pepper: Peter, what did we say about the dead family jokes? I'm afraid that'll be a cause for another appointment— Tony, why do you look like that?

Tony, shrugging as he drinks his coffee: I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me. He’s not just dead, he's also very condescending.

Scott, under his breath, scheduling an appointment for both of them: Jesus Christ, like father like son, apparently.

Civilian: Oh, Spider-Man! I thought I was going to die for sure! Please, have anything, on the house!

Peter: Uh, I don't think I can...

Civilian: Please, as a thank you?

Peter: I-I really can't. I'm uh.. hormones.. I'm pregnant.

Civilian: Oh. Uh, congratulations..? Is it a boy or a girl?

Peter: Uhm, a spider. The father's a, uh, a daddy—daddy long legs.

Steve: Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Peter: Wait, it's Wednesday?

Tony: It is Wednesday, underoos.

Peter: What happened to Tuesday?

Tony: I believe that was yesterday.

Peter: What? Why? How??

Loki, out of nowhere: By the progression of time, I'd assume, spiderling.