Peter: But Mr. Stark, This Is A Once-in-a-lifetime Oppurtunity!

Peter: But Mr. Stark, this is a once-in-a-lifetime oppurtunity!

Tony: For the last time, Peter, I am not letting you go anywhere near the damn electric chair.

Morgan, doing her homework in similes: Happiness is like rainbows! If you see one, you smile because it's so colorful! Sometimes, you get two and you get double happy!

Peter, whispering: Sometimes, you always get none even after watching so many rainy days stop and you just sit there, disappointed that no matter your effort, happiness doesn't want you and life just truly hates you.

Tony, overhearing and speed-dialing the top 10 therapists in the area:

Tony: Hey, underoos! FRIDAY told me you were confused about something and wanted to see me?

Peter, sulking: Mr. Stark, I was asked to name all the presidents today.

Tony: Oh, that's all? I'm pretty sure you already know them all though with your smarts, kiddo, or you could've just asked FRIDAY.

Peter: But Mr. Stark, I thought they already had names?

Tony:

Tony: Holy shit, is that what teachers actually mean—

Peter, on the phone: Mr. Stark, uh, I accidentally fell off of it.

Tony, panicking: Hey Pe— what—fell off what?!

Peter: The roof.

Tony, calming down: Oh, your apartment's? Your patrol is supposed to end by now. I'll come get you so you can get checked out in the medbay.

Peter: Uh, no, IfelloutoftheChryslerbuilding.

Tony, suddenly hyperventilating: PETER BENJAMIN FUCKING PARKER YOU 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛—

Civilian: Oh, Spider-Man! I thought I was going to die for sure! Please, have anything, on the house!

Peter: Uh, I don't think I can...

Civilian: Please, as a thank you?

Peter: I-I really can't. I'm uh.. hormones.. I'm pregnant.

Civilian: Oh. Uh, congratulations..? Is it a boy or a girl?

Peter: Uhm, a spider. The father's a, uh, a daddy—daddy long legs.

Peter: Yes, we are in the shit. No, we never give up.

Tony: Peter, you have a stAB WOUND AND YOU'RE LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW, PLEASE GET OFF THE DAMN CEILING—