My Rainbow

My rainbow🌈

Black swan 🖤🌫️

My bts, my bts 🛐💜

My amygdala 🖤🌚

Bangtan 💜

Right now, it's 1 am in Turkey time and there is school in the morning, I can only sleep for 4-5 hours, no problem, maybe this article will be on your homepage, but because it is long, it is impossible to read, it is not really important, I just wanted to write what I wrote in the notes section. A few months ago there was a strange feeling and I was in it, I was in a void, there was an inadequacy, but this inadequacy was neither due to money, neither lessons nor love, I used to think that I was inadequate for BTS, I should have proven everyone around me and not silenced them all, I should have known all their songs, but there wasn't, there were some deficiencies and I am incapable of it. At these moments, we saw that the notes sections were written by the letters to the members, and they went back to the surrounding readings. Even in things, it would make me happy to find them. We have a lot in common with them; Namjoon's ingenuity in the kitchen(!), seokjin's cheerfulness, yoongi's recklessness and deep thought, jhope's attitude in the friend environment, jimin's hiding some things, example very well, taehyung's gestures and people are very knowing well, jungkook's style and rebellious looks and actually being a baby, our common features, now that it's like this, I mean when I'm full of humiliation, they should understand my recovery instead of me telling itThey are everything to me, I was insecure and thanks to them I gained self-confidence, I started to love myself and many other things, so I am grateful for my little babies and do more for them, I know that I am enough for them.

These were the things I felt before, this feeling of missing came to an end with jimin's album, looking at the meaning of the song, I realized that jimin also went through such periods, but he didn't reflect it, he was strong and had to be a complete person and go through the way of idiots, so I'm closer to them now , this was not a problem for a while, I continued my letters, it was very good, I discovered new things about bts, despite my two-year army, there are things I missed, here is the feeling of inadequacy, I dedicated myself to them, my dreams when I got low in exams, I cried for them , everything was fine, jhope enlisted in the army and I was undecided whether to be happy to see seokjin, sad or proud of jhope, fall in love with namjoon again or wait for yoongi's album, thank goodness I got over it all.

Because I have enough of them. Then I got the news of moonbin, the man with the beautiful smile, may he sleep peacefully, and I thought, moonbin wasn't my idol, I only knew his name and idol, after I got the news, I watched the broadcasts a few days ago with deep sadness, it was okay I swear to you very much he was normal, he was laughing and it was normal, just like my idols, but he committed suicide because of feelings he couldn't handle, you don't know what anyone is going through or hiding when you think about it, when you empathize, even though any member with a bad dream seems normal, if the news of suicide suddenly came, it would be the end of me for that. I cried many times, but I realized that this does not help, instead, as the army, we should make them much happier and not make them think about it. Thank you for understanding me, for loving me, I'm grateful to BTS, thank you taehyung for not hiding his depression from us, thank you jungkook for sharing his troubles with us, thank you jhope for calming himself down by saying it's okay even though he didn't get any letters at the time of debut I do,thank you to the members who protected jimin who received death threats so nothing would happen, and thank you to jimin who remained strong despite these threats, thank you to yoongi who didn't give a fuck about the bad comments, thank you to namjoon who stayed calm and dissed even though his group was being teased Thank you to seokjin for staying calm for the army despite receiving bad comments from some people, thank you for being BTS AND ARMY Thank you so much I love you my seven angels, I wish you all healthy and happy, and 2025 brings you to me as soon as possible my little soldiers, good luck you are there, bts and army endless... 🍓💗💌🍷❤️💓💞