Maidens Only Desire The Finest Of Knights. Like Guinevere, They Lust After Gallant Lancelot Even When

Maidens only desire the finest of knights. Like Guinevere, they lust after gallant Lancelot even when wed to the noble and kind Arthur. It's over, nay, it never began for us few who can not hope to rival their mythic Lancelot in physique nor fair face.

Today, I approached a fine lady on the road. She was clearly of noble lineage, or so it seemed by her clothing and soft features. I shared a few words with her and offered to allow her to ride my horse. Suddenly, her face twisted, and she objected, "Sir, I am all-ready promised to another."

Another! Who must this be, another Lancelot, no doubt! Tall and handsome with noble blood.

Once again, maidens have left me despondent. There is no romance for those of us whose faces are malformed like ogres. For they are as their nature wills it: wanton harlots in the presence of Lancelot, and barren virgins in the face of us virtuous yet physically cursed men.

Addressed by who, because some of these are ... interesting

really like. for all that the clone wars are a cool concept and an extremely consequential thing that happened in the galaxy, there’s a reason the movies skip right over them. bc it doesn’t matter how many planets anakin & the gang battled separatists on. it doesn’t matter what cool stuff obi wan got up to. it doesn’t matter how close the jedi got to winning/losing the war, it matters that they went to war at all. it matters that a benevolent organization of peaceful monks abandoned 1000 years of prosperity to die for no reason. that was the story george lucas wanted to tell. bc for however confused his politics could get, he came of age aware his country was fighting an evil & pointless war. so he made movies not about good guys that almost won, but about people making weak and foolish choices in the name of patriotism. that is the whole point . that is the prequel trilogy’s most salient and biting commentary. i’m sorry your action figures died but they were doomed by the narrative for being neoliberal. ok.

Chucklefuck

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.