JULY 4TH PT3 - Chris Sturniolo X Reader

JULY 4TH PT3 - chris sturniolo x reader

pt1 pt2

you pull up outside the triplets house later than evening, admittedly feeling a lot fresher than you had this morning. after your first initial texts with chris, you ended up falling asleep for another hour or so before being awoken by jake, who was begging you and tara to help him clean their apartment. you reluctantly got out of bed, but after a coffee (or two), you felt the movment had helped you come alive slightly, but in and out was still the only thing you wanted to eat after nibbling on a slice of toast all day.

keeping your date a secret however, you should have known was not going to happen. when you annoyed your departure from the three boys house finally, you were met by a load of stares. in their hungover states they were all planning on watching movies and order takeout, so you had no choice but to tell them.

"im meeting a friend" you had said when jake had given you an eye. you notice the smirk from your best friend tara as the words leave your mouth but you do your best to avoid eye contact, but a smirk comes over jakes face immediately.

"his name chris by any chance?" he says.

you eyes divert to tara immediately, and she holds her hands up in surrender. "dont look at me" she laughs, and you cant help but chuckle as you turn around to leave, knowing that tara would likely fill the 3 boys in, but as you leave you're only met with a chorus of claps and woops.

"so annoying" you mutter, which they hear as they all erupt into laughter.

you spend the next hour at your own place, panicking about what to wear. you're dying to text chris but the lack of communication since your earlier messages felt exciting, making you giddy almost. so you settle for a comfortable pair of shorts with a baggy tee, your favourite earrings and a small subtle amount of make up with some lip gloss. giving yourself a once over in the mirror, you smile before putting your converse on and head to your car.

so now you sit here, waiting for chris to emerge from his house, you lean across to look in the mirror and apply another layer of lipgloss just to keep yourself busy before you drum your fingers across your steering wheel, turning up the song you were playing through the bluetooth before you finally see him walking down the driveway.

you smile as you take in him in. sweatpants and a black tee, casual but somehow cool, hair so clearly freshly washed. his stubble from yesterday now gone. and he gives you a smirk as soon as he sees you looking, but you already feel so comfortable in his presence so smirk back, causing him to laugh and shake his head. when he finally gets to your passenger side and open the door, you bend your head to see it.

“your carriage awaits. in and out was it?”

he ignores you, gets in the car, shuts the door, and then finally swivels his head to look at you.

“you’re worse than matt. and i’ve been in the car 3 seconds”

you laugh, throwing your head back causing a chuckle to escape his lips.

“sorry” you say, looking towards him again. “i couldn’t resist. but seriously, in and out?”

“i’m starving” he mutters, and you nod in agreement with a smile on your face, putting the car back in drive and setting off down the street.

the nearest in and out is only a 5 minute drive away, and you spend those 5 minutes chatting about the night before. laughing about certain moments you had forgotten about till he has bought them up. by the time you pull up for food, your stomach hurts from laughing and your fear your mascara has likely leaked down your face. turning off the ignition, you lean to look into the rear view mirror to double check, and you become aware how dangerously close you are to chris. he’s quite as you wipe at your under eyes, and when you finally move back to your original position and turn to him, he’s smiling.

“you’re beautiful, ya know?”

“chris” you laugh, suddenly feeling flustered, your cheeks going a tinge of red.

he smiles as he looks at you, before looking out towards the restaurant. it’s busy, you notice. the line is long and there’s people sat on almost every table. even from sitting in your car and looking through the window you can hear the hustle and bustle, people likely in the same hungover state as you.

“i got an idea” chris says, and you snap your head back to look at him.

“go on?”

he looks back at the resturant one more time, before looking to you again.

“why don’t we get it to take out, and come back to mine? we can eat on the sofa, we can watch a movie …”

your hearts racing at the thought. truthfully, a night in sounded a lot better than sitting in a stuffy burger place and you tried to keep calm as you answered him.

“will you brothers mind?”

chris smiles. “they’re not in.”

you look at him for a second, his plump lips all of a sudden looking super inviting, but you smile.

“okay.”

“yeah?”

“yeah” you smile.

“perfect. come on” he says now, opening up the car door and stepping outside.

you follow his actions, grabbing your phone and keys and stepping outside, locking the car and putting all your belongings in your pocket before you walk around the car to meet chris who’s waiting for you on the sidewalk. when you reach him you smile, and you realise in that moment you had never formally even said hello, so you smirk.

“hi” you say, and his eyes divert straight to your lips.

“hi” he mutters, and that force is back. you can feel it, he can feel it, and then he finally takes a step towards you.

“this is possibly the least romantic place in the world, but can i kiss you?” he whispers, and you let out a laugh as you step closer to him too.

“you don’t even need to ask” you whisper back, and it takes him no time at all to press his lips to yours. soft, gentle, just a peck that lingers for a couple of seconds before he pulls away again. you can feel your heart beat racing as you look back into his eyes, before a laugh escapes you both.

suddenly, your appetite for food is completely gone and been replaced by something else.

TAGLIST : @spencerstits @chrissturnsss @slut4chriss @valkatriee @sturnsjtop @viiiwwwee @gwennysturniolo @melanch0lybby @sturnioloblues

Steve Harrington x fem!reader [3.4K] request from anon: what about Steve teaching reader how to really kiss? Like she’s only ever had bad ones before? 

“Sloppy?” Steve grimaced, smiling through your word choice despite the disappointment he felt for you. 

You shrugged, nose crinkled as you remembered. “Yeah. Wet, y’know? And not like— it was just too much…tongue.”

There was a silence, a sad kind that filled the room. Steve wasn’t sure what to say. You kind of regretted telling the boy. So you sighed and shrugged it off again, biting the head off of red Sour Patch Kid.

“Maybe I just don’t like making out,” you sounded defeated and Steve hated it, frowning as he watched you chew your candy mournfully, your back pressed to the side of his unmade bed. “That’s normal, right? Like, some people just don’t like things like that and—”

“Hey, hey,” Steve knocked his foot against yours, legs stretched out across his bedroom floor. The pack of playing cards had been abandoned beside some unopened twizzlers and Steve’s can of cherry soda. “Look, of course that’s normal. And— and if that’s how you feel, that’s totally okay, alright?”

The boy hesitated, worried his bottom lip between his teeth and wondered if he should keep talking. You watched him, brows raised expectantly. 

“I just think—” Steve cleared his throat, his pointer finger dragging patterned across his carpet. He shrugged, all faux nonchalance. He didn’t want to sound like a creep, not to his best friend. Not to you. “I just think that maybe you’ve not had a good kiss, y’know?”

You didn’t answer, not right away. And Steve didn’t try and backtrack, or explain himself, he just waited, watching you think. His bedroom window was open, the sounds of the early evening slipping through. Someone’s backyard pool filter, their sprinklers out the front, the quiet spin of a kids bike going down the sidewalk.  

You didn’t look at Steve when you finally asked, “well, what is a good kiss?”

You felt stupid, asking such a thing at your age but maybe you’d grown up picking all the wrong kinds of guys. Impatient boys, greedy boys, selfish boys. Boys who turned into men who didn’t have the time of day to take it slow with a girl like you. Boys who thought they were men, who used too much teeth and tongue and pressure and tasted like cheap party beer and the leftover smoke of their cigarette. 

Guys who got too handsy too quick, guys who didn’t care that when they pulled away from your lips, you swiped the back of your hand over your mouth and tried not to frown. 

Steve shifted a little, cheeks turning pink as his eyes found yours. “Well,” he gestured at you, awkward. His gaze settled on your lips before he blinked and looked away. “I mean, it helps when you really like the person, y’know? The uh, the chemistry of it all.”

You swallowed, throat feeling tight, chest feeling too warm. You remember Nancy talking about those kinds of feelings when she first kissed Jonathan, a dopey, soft smile on her lips as she recounted it, telling you of the buzz under her skin, the flips that her stomach did when he leaned in to meet her, eyes closing. 

“Sure,” you agreed. You don’t think you’d ever felt that way about the boys you had kissed. “Right.”  

“But I guess you’re supposed to take your time with it? I mean, at first, when you’re getting to know someone.” Steve smiled, soft, reassuring. His knee knocked yours. “You find out what they like.”

“What they like?” You asked, voice cracking a little. You didn’t know where to look, what to do with your hands. You picked up a green sour patch and bit its leg. “What does that mean?”

Steve looked bashful, miles apart from the boy you’d know in high school, with a girl on his arm in the hallways, a different one in his lap at a party that weekend. 

“I’d, uh, I mean— person A would go slow with person B, right? They’d start soft. Gentle, I guess? You gotta— they’d have to figure out how the other person likes to be kissed. Not everyone shoves their tongue down your throat, y’know.”

You huffed out a laugh but it sounded weak, too breathy. You wanted the boy to keep talking, you wanted to watch his pink cheeks and his pretty eyes dart across your face, like he was searching for something. 

You wondered if he’d find it. 

“Not everyone?” You whispered. 

“No,” Steve shook his head, his smile wry. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and he was closer now, closer than before and you could smell his cologne, the cherry soda fizz that hung in the air along with Mr Jackson’s freshly mown grass. “No, no, not everyone. I’d give the girl a peck at first, yeah? Just something PG-13. Then, when she relaxes and you know, she moves closer, kisses me back, I’d—”

Steve broke off, blinking like he was getting rid of something hazy. He’d been looking at you as he spoke, words coming too easy, the air between you both warm despite the setting sun. He licked his lips, suddenly nervous, awkward again, a bashful thing that made him suddenly even more endearing than you thought he ever could be. 

“You’d what, Steve?” You blinked, feeling warm, wondering if the boy could tell. You didn’t know what to do so you moved, leaning forward until you could fold your legs underneath yourself and your thigh bumped Steve’s shin. “You’d what?”

Steve’s eyes searched yours, his gaze falling to your lips and back again. You thought he found it then, that thing he seemed to be looking for. Because he cleared his throat and let one hand fall to the carpet between you, his fingers brushing over your socked toes and you almost jumped at the contact. 

The silence was too loud now. 

“I could show you, if you wanted.”

Someone’s lawn mower started up a few yards over, white noise buzzing in the distance as you tried to take in what Steve had just said. He was watching you, head tilted to the side, cheeks still rosy and when you looked at him carefully, you could see the barely concealed panic in his brown eyes. 

He pressed his lips together and tried to smile, tight and nervous and he was picking at the carpet, fingers fidgeting as you sat there dumbly. You heard the shake in his voice when he tried to say, “I am—,” he choked on his words, panicked. “—so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“Steve,” you stopped the boy with a hand on his shin, your warm palm against the denim. “We’re friends, right?”

The word seemed to burn on your tongue, like it tasted like a lie, like it was as dangerous as one. You waited, breath held, wondering if you wanted Steve to agree or not. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, suddenly so serious. “Yeah, yeah, ‘course we are.” He worried at his bottom lip again, looking at your own. “Best friends.”

You nodded, tongue feeling too big for your mouth to speak. Words felt clumsy, your skin too warm. Buzzing. Fizzing. You weren’t sure if it was you or the air. 

“Show me.”

You thought Steve would maybe hesitate, maybe he’d back out or shout, ‘got you!’ like those prank shows Dustin liked to watch. You thought he’d maybe lay down some rules, maybe he’d tell you how this didn’t mean anything and really, he was only doing his sad friend a favour. 

He didn’t do any of that. In fact he didn’t say anything else at all. Steve just let out a breath and nodded once, almost to himself before he let his hand curl around the back of your calf and he tugged, gentle. 

He lifted his chin, a casual ‘c’mere’ that had your heart thundering and you wondered if this confidence, this way of acting so sure of himself, was how he got all the girls. 

A quiet sort of assertiveness that made your stomach flip inside out. 

You unfurled yourself from your sitting position, shuffling to your knees as you moved across Steve’s bedroom floor, bare shins burning against the carpet. You leaned back on your heels, brought yourself down to Steve’s level where he sat against his wall, legs stretched out before him. 

He didn’t warn you when he brought his hand to your face, fingers cupping your cheek and his thumb brushed the corner of your mouth and you were suddenly left wondering when Steve’s hands had gotten so big. You’d watched him grow, from a middle school kid to king Steve the senior. You’d seen the new muscles, the height, the hair. You’d never noticed his hands before but now they were on you, it’s all you could think about.

Dizzy. You felt dizzy. 

“Okay?” Was all he asked, voice softer and quieter now he was so much closer. 

You nodded, face too warm and licking across your bottom lip like a reflex. You weren’t sure where to look. Or where to put your hands. Most kisses you’d shared had happened in the crowds at parties or in the front seat of a boy’s car after a date. You usually lay your palms on their shoulders, holding on and wondering if every boy took these opportunities to grope your ass like a pile of dough. 

“We can stop,” Steve told you. He looked nervous and if anything, it made you feel more anxious than ever. “Whenever you want, ‘kay?” 

You nodded again, unable to really speak, too scared that your voice would crack or something equally stupid would happen. And maybe Steve knew this, maybe he knew you so much better than you ever thought he would, because he smiled and nodded too. 

“Okay,” he announced, quiet and soft and he was moving closer, noses bumping, his eyes fluttering shut. “Here goes.”

“Wait.”

Steve paused, gaze back on your own and he looked concerned, he looked worried and before he could ask you what was wrong you were sucking in a panicked breath and asking: “what if I’m the bad kisser?”

“What?” Steve let out a laugh, breathy and disbelieving and he was still so close, his hand on your jaw and his thumb rubbing absentmindedly over the apple of your cheek. He was shaking his head, smiling, looking too pretty and suddenly this seemed like a monumental thing, something gargantuan. “No, there’s no way.”

You squirmed on the floor, shifting further and then closer and Steve loosened his hold on you but you didn’t go anywhere. You just blinked at him, pained with worry. “How could you know?”

Steve paused as he thought and you wondered if he had an answer, if he was going to say something truthful or he was simply thinking of something sweet to say to placate you. Instead, he looked into your eyes and seemed to search for that… thing, again. 

I— I just—” Steve didn’t say anything, he didn’t give you an explanation or a reason. 

He simply pressed his lips to yours. 

It was chaste and sweet and entirely innocent, lips closed and nothing close to scandalous. But then he parted from you just a breath, looking at you from heavy lidded eyes, watching you from beneath his lashes. And when you didn’t move, you didn’t panic, Steve leaned in again, kissing you the same way until he nudged your chin up with his hand and his lips slotted between your own. 

He moved slowly, carefully, with a practised ease that made your toes curl and it was still sweet, it made your tummy warm and your head spin and Steve’s lips were soft, tasting like cherry soda and sugar. 

You caught up after a beat or two, your hand that wasn’t braced on the floor reaching up to cling to where you could reach. Your fingers found the collar of Steve’s t-shirt, fisting the soft material and doing everything to make sure he didn’t move away. You moved with him, lips meeting and parting over and over until Steve sucked in a breath and tilted his head to the other side, pressing closer, a little deeper. 

After another soft peck, he pulled away, eyes still closed and his thumb on your chin as he whispered, voice hoarse. “See? Nothin’ to worry about.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, pressed his fingers under your jaw. “And now, a guy should be testing the waters, right?”

“They should?” You whispered back. Your eyes were still closed too, your fingers sneaking up past Steve’s collar to stroke at the skin at the base of his throat, experimental, adventurous. “How’d they do that?”

You were sure you felt the boy smile, sensed it. A warm breath across your lips as he moved closer again. “Like this—” 

Another kiss, the same as before, once, twice and then Steve was parting his mouth over your own and letting the tip of his tongue lick over your bottom lip. It was a fleeting touch, a zap, a buzz, a tingle down your spine and you gasped without thinking about it, lips parting for the boy and you followed suit, tongue moving past Steve’s lips to meet his own. 

He groaned then, a vibration against you, his hand skating back from your cheek to thread into your hair and he let his tongue move over your own, lips clicking every time they parted. It was slower than you’d been kissed before, something sensual about it despite being sat on your best friend’s bedroom floor and it made your insides somersault, the skin where Steve slouched burning. 

“Told you,” he murmured, breath heavy as he spoke. “Nothing to worry about,” he repeated and when you finally opened your eyes to look at him, face blazing with heat, Steve was looking at you like he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Mhmm,” you agreed, barely listening, eyes still on the boy’s mouth, fingering the collar of his shirt, not ready to let go yet. “You must be a good teacher, or something.”

Steve looked distracted, Adam’s apple bobbing, gaze on your lips too. You weren’t sure he had stopped looking at them. “Yeah, yeah. Or something.” He swallowed, throat tight. “Do you wanna stop? Or—?”

“No,” you said, maybe too quickly. “Do you?”

“God, no,” Steve agreed just as fast. “You can keep going— just— what do you want…?”

Steve’s words died on his lips as you moved suddenly, rising to your knees only to push Steve back to the wall. His hands fell to his sides, hovering in mid air as he stared, watching as you swung a leg over his knees and sat carefully on his lap. You were cautious, more on his thighs that closer to anything else but you tried to breathe evenly as you took in the position. 

“Okay?” You asked him, voice caught sticky in your throat with nerves but Steve nodded, head bobbing hurriedly. You sucked in a breath, smoothing your hands over Steve’s shoulders before you did as he had, smoothing them up the sides of his neck and holding his jaw carefully. “What do I do now?”

‘Whatever you want,’ Steve wanted to beg. But apparently this was a lesson of sorts and he  had something to teach you. So he cleared his throat to make sure his voice wouldn’t crack and held your hips, hands gentle and polite. “You, uh, you find out what I like.”

You nails scratched at the back of his neck, unconsciously. You licked your lips. “How do I do that?”

Steve’s hands flexed on your hips, climbing to your waist, holding you a little tighter. Something seemed to shift then, his eyes lighting up. He looked like he was ready to fight, like you’d asked him if he were up for a challenge. It made you grin. 

“Kiss me.”

 So you did. 

You did as Steve had at the start, kissing him soft and slow and chaste, pulling away before he could catch you, teasing, nose bumping his and breaths mixing, cherry soda to fizzy candy. And just before Steve was about to groan, frustrated, you shifted closer, chest pressed to his and you parted your lips, catching his bottom lip between your own. 

It was a greedier kiss and Steve let his head fall back against the wall with a dull thunk, opening his mouth for you, nails digging into your sides when you licked over his tongue, exploratory, gentle. You felt him nod, the tip of his nose smushed to your cheek and you smiled, amused at his praise. 

“Like that?” You asked, breathless, barley parting from him to speak. 

“Yeah, like that,” Steve agreed, sounding just as wrecked. “Keep going, please.”

He didn’t have to ask again. Fuck, he didn’t even have to ask as nicely as he did because you were back on him in a heartbeat, kissing your best friend like you didn’t want him to remember anyone else. 

“Slower,” he whispered, muttering instructions against your mouth and you didn’t feel scolded, you didn’t feel embarrassed you just followed Steve’s instructions, pulling back slightly to kiss him softer, lips moving with his slower, slower, slower. 

You heard him groan, felt his chest rumble and his hands squeeze at you in silent praise and you knew then he liked it like that, liked to be teased. You nosed at his cheek, did as he had done and pushed your thumb under his jaw to bring his mouth up to yours, his head tipping back, back, back. You pecked over his cheeks then, over the bridge of his nose and at the corner of his lips until he was panting, waiting for you. 

“Yeah?” Was all you asked. 

“Yeah,” he hummed, feeling like he was vibrating. He let his eyes shutter closed, waiting for your next touch. “Yeah.”

You felt bolder, brazen, pushing your lips back to Steve’s and when you pulled away this time, you nipped at the boy’s bottom lip, pulling at it gently with your teeth and until it popped softly back into place and Steve swore, he cursed, he grunted and his hips shifted under yours. 

“You like that,” you noted with a smile and it wasn’t a question. 

Steve didn’t speak, he couldn’t. Instead he stared up at you and nodded, dazed, throat bobbing as he swallowed tightly and tried to get himself under control. 

You moved into each other again without discussion, an unconscious need that didn’t need a conversation. Your hands went to his hair, holding onto the messy ends at the nape of his neck as his travelled the expanse of your back, fingertips lifting the hem of your shirt every downstroke, his skin on yours. It was enough for you to make soft noises against him, nudging closer and Steve helped, his hands pulling at your waist until your chest pressed against his and were seated over his crotch. 

You felt him then, hard and pressed underneath his jeans and it made you kiss him like you had something to prove, mouths moving together, open and panting, tongues touching teasingly, teeth grazing against lips to try and make the other moan louder. 

And when Steve’s garage door opened, a groaning, grating sound below his window, it was an interruption that told you both his father had arrived home. 

You slid from his lap, chest heaving and eyes heavy on Steve’s pink cheeks. His lips were shiny from your work, his hands leaving your waist at the very last second, your butt hitting his carpet rather ungracefully as you backed away, suddenly so aware of the line that had been crossed. 

You were burning still, an ache between your legs that hadn’t quite been satisfied and your lips buzzed from Steve’s kisses, the slow, careful way he’d pressed his to your own. He’d paid attention, you realised, picked up on every noise you made, every shift against him, the way you kissed him back eagerly when he did something you liked. And you’d done the same, taking in his gasps and sighs, stomach flipping when his hips bucked and his chest moved a little quicker than before. 

Your fingers touched your bottom lip before you pressed the back of your hand to it, as if to hide the evidence. Steve was still staring at you, panting, doing nothing to hide the obvious bulge in his jeans. 

And when his front door opened and closed and you could hear his fathers footsteps lead into his office, Steve stayed quiet. Only when the sound of the door clicking shut filled the silent house did he smile, boyish and all charm.

“See?” He reminded you, cheeks still burning. His hair was a mess from where you’d pulled on it. He looked rumpled, undone at the seams. “Told you, you weren’t a bad kisser.”

𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

summary: in which best friends, y/n henderson and steve harrington get caught up in their feelings while paranormal activities occur in the small town of hawkins, indiana

𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞

I - the vanishing of will byers 1.9k

II - the search 2.1k

III - the weirdo on maple street 2k

IV - the house party 2.1k

V - the body 2.4k

VI - pictures 1k

VII - the woods 2.4k

VIII - don’t turn off the lights 1.7k

IX - monster hunting 2.5k

X - the kiddie pool 2.7k

XI - let’s kill this son of a bitch 4.1k

XII - happy holidays 2.7k

𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝐨

XIII - mad max 3k

XIV - new kids on the block 2.4k

XV - halloween night 4.6k

XVI - tension 1.9k

XVII - episodes 2.3k

XVIII - the cellar 2.3k

XIX - sexual electricity 3.1k

XX - the junkyard 3.3k

XXI - hawkins lab 2.3k

XXII - the spy 1.8k

XXIII - together again 3.4k

XXIV - the fight 2.6k

XXV - tunnels 3.1k

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𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

XXVII - scoops ahoy 3.3k

XXVIII - suzie, do you copy? 2.7k

XXIX - the code 2.4k

XXX - evil russians 2.6k

XXXI - the air ducts 2.1k

XXXII - child endangerment 2.4k

XXXIII - booby traps 2.8k

XXXIV - the gate 2.4k

XXXV - caught 2.9k

XXXVI - drugged 2.1k

XXXVII - escaping evil russians 101 2.8k

XXXVIII - interrogate me 3.6k

XXXIX - the bite 2.4k

XL - the mind flayer 2.1k

XLI - scoops troop 3k

XLII - the battle of starcourt 4.5k

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𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

XLIV - the pep rally 5.4k

XLV - the nightmares 5k

XLVI - the game 2.5k

more tba!

alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.

wtf is a situationship.. don’t ever put me in a situation

10 Years (steve harrington x fem!reader)

18+ account - minors do not interact

steve harrington x f!reader (modern au)

Word Count: 6.5K (I don’t know how this happened)

Rating: E

Summary: You attend your boyfriend's 10-year high-school reunion as his plus one and realize he’s the popular guy everyone remembers, while you were the shy, nerdy girl back during your own high school days. You can’t shake the feeling of being out of place and question if you don’t belong in his world – and are surprised to find out that he has his own insecurities.

Warning: established relationship, flirting, teasing, sexual touching, language, pet names, fluff, smutty flashbacks, insecurity / jealousy (both Steve and Reader) dirty talk, praise, fingering, implied p in v sex

A/N: This is my first time writing for Steve Harrington so I’m really nervous. I recently watched the movie Free Guy and my love for Joe Keery multiplied 10x and I am so shocked at myself for crushing on an age-appropriate man. I can’t wait for season 5 of Stranger Things which feels so far away, so I decided to write something while we wait. This fic was slightly self-indulgent since I am nearing 30, but I never went to my high-school reunion since it was cancelled because of Covid. Thank you to the following people who let me brain dump with them as I dip my toes into the Stranger Things Fandom. @rebelfell, @munsonsreputation, @lovebugism, @thelostmagicians. Hope you enjoy the story!

xx

As you pulled the dress over your head, glancing into the mirror to adjust the neckline, you could feel Steve’s gaze lingering on you, the corners of his mouth teasingly twitching upward.

Steve leaned against the back of his childhood bathroom door shirtless, crossed his legs and placed his hands into his jean pockets and stared at you as you got dressed. His parents were on vacation and you two had the house to yourselves which had made for wonderful activities last night when you two drove in from Chicago. And this morning when you two woke up.

You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. The event started at 7 PM. “Focus, Harrington! You need to get dressed and make it to the reunion without getting distracted.” You said with a teasing tone.

Steve smirked, “What distraction? I’m just admiring,” he said, his voice lowering as he closed the space between you, leaning in to brush his lips against your mouth. He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, the heat in his gaze unmistakable.

“Come on,” he murmured, his tone sultry as he let his hands travel down your arms, lingering on your waist. “You know you look incredible in this dress.” He let his fingers trail upwards, teasingly brushing against the neckline before he moved his hands to cup your face, pulling you closer.

“Hmm, what’s that?” you replied, your voice dropping a notch lower.

You felt a rush of warmth as he pressed his lips to yours, the kiss deepening as he whispered against your mouth, “We can be a little late…” His hands found your breasts, thumbs gently brushing over the fabric, and your breath hitched.

With a soft chuckle, you pulled slightly away, just enough to lock eyes with him. “Steve, we need to get going. We said we would pick up Robin on the way from her parent's place,” You tried to sound firm, but the heat in his gaze made it difficult to resist him.

He groaned slightly, pressing another lingering kiss to your lips. “Promise me we’ll have our fun afterward?” His voice was a seductive whisper that sent a thrill through you.

You nodded slowly, a playful smile on your face. Your hand slid down to stroke his cock through his pants. He closed his eyes and moaned. “I promise. Now let’s go, or we’ll be late.”

With a playful shove, you nudged him away, taking the chance to fix the dress's neckline that he had just messed up.

He laughed softly and glanced at you while he readjusted himself in his pants. “Well, I’m definitely not letting you leave here until you at least admit that I clean up pretty good too.” He leaned forward again, capturing your lips in another kiss, this one less teasing and more demanding.

Breaking away again, your breath mingled with the heated atmosphere around you. “Okay, fine! You do look good, Harrington. Now can you put on your damn shirt so we can get out of here?” You gestured toward the clothes strewn across the countertop.

Steve sighed dramatically, feigning reluctance as he turned toward the pile. “Fine, but you’re missing the perfect moment for me to show off my impressively chiseled abs.” He tugged a fitted shirt over his head and turned back to you, tucking his bottom lip out.

You bit your lip to suppress a laugh, shaking your head at his antics. “You really think you’re the star of the show tonight, huh?” you teased, crossing your arms over your chest and giving him a mock-serious look.

With a grin, he swaggered over to you, running a hand through his hair. “Can you blame me? With a date like you? I’m just trying to keep up.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “Alright, Mr. Hotshot, ready?”

He took a step closer, reaching for your hand, threading his fingers through yours as he pulled you toward the door. “I love you,” he whispered. “I can’t wait for everyone to meet you.”

You felt your heart flutter at his words, the sincerity in his tone making everything else fade away for a moment. “I love you too, Steve,” you replied, your voice soft but filled with warmth. You squeezed his hand as you stepped out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

xx

You met Steve almost a year ago. It was at a mutual friend’s party, and the moment he walked in, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was, without a doubt, one of the most attractive people you had ever seen. His confidence, the way he carried himself, and his genuine smile all drew you in.

As you started talking, you were struck by how easy it was to chat with him. Steve was in his senior year at the University of Illinois Chicago studying sports management and you could tell he felt a little self-conscious about being an older student, considering he was in his late 20’s. He had explained how he and his best friend Robin had moved to Chicago after working at a video store for a couple years in their hometown of Hawkins to save up money before deciding to make the big move. He spent a few years working odd hours in event operations across different gigs for sports teams around Chicago and then decided he wanted to go to college to pursue a job in the sports industry.  

Despite his looks and charm, he was down-to-earth and kind. He asked for your number, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was out of your league, and you honestly thought you’d never hear from him again.

But then, unexpectedly, your phone buzzed one evening with a message from Steve and the rest was history.

You remember having felt so nervous the first time you slept with Steve. The idea of being completely naked in front of him seemed a bit too much.

You were laying on the bed topless and only had your panties on. Steve turned to you, his intense gaze locking onto yours, and you could see the desire flickering in his eyes. It was as if he could read your thoughts, understanding the anxiety that lingered beneath your surface.

In a low, husky voice, he leaned in closer, brushing your hair back from your face. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “I’m so fucking hard for you,” he admitted, his hands roaming gently across your skin. As you glanced down, the outline of his cock was evident against the fabric of his boxer briefs, the contours creating an undeniable shape that sparked a rush of warmth throughout your body.

He kissed his way down your neck. “Do you trust me?” he asked.

You nodded.

His hands moved with careful intent, and he paused for a moment, his gaze searching yours for any sign of hesitation. When he found none, he let his fingers explore the delicate fabric of your panties. Slowly, he traced the lace edges, sending shivers along your spine.

With a soft motion, he hooked his fingers beneath the waistband, his touch featherlight yet electrifying. He looked up at you, his eyes dark, and licked his lips. Then, with a gentle tug, he began to slide the fabric down your thighs, his fingers brushing against your skin, making your heart race.

As the panties slipped away, he discarded them carelessly. “I want to kiss you…” His hand lowered right on top of your pussy, “right fucking here,”

Your jaw went slack with a gasp as you felt him tease your entrance with his index finger.

“Do you want that pretty girl?” he teased, a smirk dancing on his lips.

You licked your lips and nodded.

“I need to hear it. Just say the word, and I’ll give you everything you want. I just wanna make you feel good,” Steve whispered, his thumb grazing your bottom lip.

“Please, kiss me. Make me feel good,” you said biting your bottom lip, heart thudding out of your chest.

“Good fucking girl,” he groaned, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder and burying his face between your thighs.

You felt beautiful that day and every day since then. He always told you with his words. He always told you with his eyes. He always told you with his hands. And he always told you with his mouth.

Steve had just graduated this past summer and you were so proud of him because he had landed a permanent position with the Chicago Cubs in their business development team. He would be focused on developing and maintaining relationships with television and digital media partnerships, while overseeing the distribution of games and programming. He was perfect for the job, he was just such a people person.

You met his parents at graduation, and you knew his relationship with them was… interesting. They took you both out for a fancy dinner and that was that.

A couple weeks later, Steve received his ‘Class of 2014 High School Reunion’ email and invited you to be his plus one and now here you were in Hawkins on your way to the event.

“Seriously, Steve,” Robin groaned from the backseat as Steve gripped the steering wheel, “why are we even going to this thing? It’s like stepping into a time warp of bad haircuts and questionable fashion choices.”

Steve smirked. “Come on, Robin. It’s a chance to relive your glory days,”

Robin rolled her eyes dramatically. “Easy for you to say, King Steve. You were the one with the perfect hair and the pretty girlfriends. Captain of the basketball team and heartthrob extraordinaire even though you really were the King of Dorks,”

Steve shot Robin a wounded look from the rearview mirror. You chuckled, giving Steve a shy smile while he absentmindedly rubbed circles on your thigh.

“It’s not going to be that bad. Plus, there’s free food. And alcohol,” he said.

“Right, because nothing screams ‘successful adult’ like getting tipsy in front of our high school classmates,” she shot back, crossing her arms. “How nostalgic.”

“What was high school like for you?” Robin suddenly asked you.

You felt the heat of the spotlight as Robin turned her attention to you, and you squirmed slightly. “Uh, high school was... interesting?” you answered hesitantly, glancing at Steve as he continued to draw patterns on your thigh. “I mean, you know, typical teen stuff.”

Robin raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting more than just a vague response. “Interesting? That’s it? Come on, you’ve got to give me more than that. Did you have a jock phase, a nerd phase? Maybe a secret life as a punk rock musician?”

You laughed, trying to shake off the pressure. “Well, I wasn’t a punk rock musician, that’s for sure. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly the queen of the social scene.”

“Was your prom hell too? Please tell me there’s a cringeworthy story involving sequins and too much hairspray.”

The truth was high school hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park for you. The constant feeling of not belonging and feeling so out of place. You always felt a step behind everyone else. You don’t even think the popular kids knew you existed, and you felt invisible at times. Every day in high school felt like a test you just couldn’t ace.

You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal to Robin. “Okay, fine. There might’ve been some sequins involved...”

As you pulled into the parking lot, Robin sighed dramatically. “Well, here goes nothing. Let’s see if anyone remembers Steve’s legendary hair.”

Steve winked at you. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ve still got it.”

xx

They did remember.

In fact, it was sort of crazy how his classmates approached him—like he was a celebrity and they were fans. It happened again and again; each time someone greeted Steve, the same starry-eyed admiration flashed in their eyes. You couldn’t help but feel small, like a shadow beside a bright light. The girls around you were practically lining up for a chance to chat with the ‘King’ himself, and your mind was racing.

They kept glancing over at Steve with wide, dreamy eyes, whispering conspiratorially among themselves. You caught snippets of their conversation, punctuated with compliments and laughable memories from high school, with Steve’s name threaded through it all like some glorious anthem.

You caught him glancing your way every so often—a reassuring smile, a wink, or a playful grin that made your heart flutter. He was currently talking to Tommy and Carol, who Robin had explained were more acquaintances at this point, but not close friends of theirs. But despite the warmth of his affectionate glances, you still felt a tightening knot of insecurities in your gut.

Back in Chicago, you had become all too accustomed to the way women looked at him—those lingering glances, the way their smiles widened when he walked into a room. You had been one of those women once.

Steve was fucking pretty, and he had charisma. It was sexy. He was sexy. It was really that simple.

Eddie and Robin were currently deep in conversation talking about a classmate who had flunked gym class but somehow ran a successful podcast now. You had already met Eddie in Chicago because he had visited Robin and Steve a few times, however, it was your first time meeting Jonathan, Billy, and Barb.

“So, you’re a lawyer?” Barb asked.

“Yeah, environmental,” you replied, sipping on your drink.

“Where did you go to law school?” Jonathan asked, his eyes scanning you.

“I went to Northwestern. I graduated a couple of years ago and started working for a small environmental law boutique firm. I’m more on the regulatory and compliance side of things,” you answered, trying to sound confident. “It’s challenging but rewarding,” you shrugged.

“Impressive. You must be swimming in student debt,” Billy joked, leaning back against the wall.

You chuckled. “Let’s just say I have a solid monthly payment plan that haunts me every time I check my bank account.”

Laughter broke into the group, and you started feeling more at ease.

“And what adventures have you had since law school?” Barb continued, genuinely interested. “You must have some wild stories being a lawyer.”

You were about to respond when Steve rejoined the circle. “Hey, guys! What did I miss?” he asked, leaning into you, an arm draping casually over your shoulder.

“Just some riveting tales of legal exploits,” you replied, giving him a playful nudge. “You know, super exciting stuff.”

“I honestly don’t know how you landed this one, Harrington,” Billy said, shaking his head.

“You and me both. She’s too pretty and smart for me,” Steve said with a smirk, his thumb tracing your shoulder. You felt your cheeks warm, both at his words and the steady focus of his gaze.

“Oh my gosh! Nancy, you’re finally here,” you heard Robin shriek.

The room seemed to blur around you as Robin’s voice cut through the chatter and you watched Nancy walk through the entrance with such an effortless beauty.

Nancy Wheeler, you had heard about her—she was the one who had broken Steve’s heart in high school.  

Robin was the first to dart over, her excitement practically radiating off her. She enveloped Nancy in a tight hug, squeezing her. One by one, others joined in the greeting, each taking turns to greet her, their laughter mingling with playful banter.

Steve’s face lit up, and he hugged Nancy tightly. “Nance! It’s been forever!”

“Steve!” she exclaimed, her voice warm as she closed the distance, arms outstretched. They embraced tightly, a moment that felt like it lasted just a beat too long. You could see the way he relaxed against her, a familiarity that made your stomach turn.

You watched them, your heart doing a complicated dance. They shared memories, inside jokes, and a history that stretched back to Hawkins High. Nancy was beautiful—no denying that. She was the girl who’d once held Steve’s heart, his first love.

Finally, as the hugs subsided, Nancy stepped back, and smoothed her hair back, and glanced around the room, her gaze landing on you. With a friendly smile that lit up her features, she said hello to you.  

As you introduced yourself to Nancy, you caught Robin’s eye. She raised an eyebrow at you, her expression a mix of curiosity and empathy. Robin had always been perceptive.

xx

After an hour or so, you grabbed another drink (or two) and decided to walk around for a bit by yourself and found a giant wall displaying the photographs of the graduating class of 2014, your eyes dancing over the familiar faces you had met tonight. Each picture told a story, and some of them featured, Steve, grinning ear to ear at events like prom, football games, and graduation.

As you leaned closer to a candid picture of Steve laughing with a group of friends, you heard a voice call out your name from behind you.

You turned to see Jason Carver, a familiar face from your undergraduate days at the University of Michigan.

“Jason!” Your surprise was genuine. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” You didn’t remember him being originally from Indiana.

He chuckled. “Likewise, considering you didn’t go to Hawkins. High school reunions have a way of pulling people out of the woodwork.” His gaze shifted to the photos.

"Wow, it’s been so long. How have you been?" you asked.

"I've been good. Just moved to Indianapolis and thought I'd check out the reunion. I can't believe how many people are here!" He glanced at the wall, then back at you. "You look amazing."

"Thanks! You look great too," you replied, caught off guard by the compliment.

Jason’s eyes lingered on you. “And how’s life? Where are you these days?”

“Busy,” you laughed. “Work, mostly. I’m in Chicago now, actually,”

He leaned against the wall, his expression playful. “So, what brings you here tonight?”

You glanced back at the photos of Steve and pointed at him. “Well, I’m here with Steve. He’s my boyfriend.”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up, and he leaned in a little closer. “Harrington?”

You nodded. “Yeah, that Steve,”

His gaze flickered between you and the photos. “I never would’ve guessed. You two seem…different.”

“Different how?” you asked, trying to weigh his tone, but curiosity and annoyance laced your words.

Jason shrugged nonchalantly. “I guess I just remember him as the quintessential high school jock and prom king, and you…,” he trailed off, his expression searching for a way to complete the thought.

You raised an eyebrow.

Jason gave a slight laugh, and put a hand on your shoulder. “I guess I’m just surprised he bagged someone like you. You always had that whole ‘girl-next-door’ vibe going on. It was hot,”

You didn’t quite know how to respond to that statement. His breath smelled of tequila, so you just assumed it was the alcohol talking. In the corner of the room, you noticed Steve scanning the crowd for you. When he spotted you, you noticed his step faltered. The smile on his face faded, replaced by a furrowed brow as he crossed the room.

"Hey, there you are,” he said, quickly kissing your forehead and putting his arm around your waist before turning back to Jason.

"Jason," Steve said, tone clipped, extending a hand. "Good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too, man," Jason replied, shaking his hand, but there was tension that lingered in the air.

"So, what’s up?” Steve said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Just reminiscing about college days,” you responded.

Jason chuckled. “Yeah, never thought I’d miss the stress of finals, but here we are,” He winked at you.

Steve’s grip tightened on your waist, and his jaw clenched. “Old friends?”

Jason’s smile was cryptic. “Something like that.”

"Right," Steve interjected, trying to keep his tone light, though his other hand was tucked into his pocket as if he needed to anchor himself. "I didn’t realize you two knew each other,”

You glanced back at Jason. “We met Junior year of college, I think?" you explained quickly.

Steve shifted slightly, glancing at the photos again before focusing back on you and Jason. “That’s cool. Listen, babe, we should probably get going soon,” he said, his tone light but his eyes tight. “Eddie said he wants us to get to the bar before it gets too crowded.”

“Sounds good,” you agreed, giving Jason a polite smile. “It was really good to see you!”

“Yeah, you too,” Jason replied. “Let’s catch up at the next alumni event,”

“Definitely,” you said, though you could feel Steve’s arm urge you forward. As you both walked away, you stole a glance back at Jason, who waved lightly, his expression tight-lipped.

Once you were a few steps away, Steve's arm fell from your waist. You turned to him, your brow furrowing at his sudden distance. “Hey, what’s wrong?” you asked gently.

“Nothing, why would anything be wrong?” He kept his gaze straight ahead.

You pressed your lips together, weighing your words carefully. “You seemed… a little tense back there,”

He shrugged, glancing at you for a moment before looking away again. “Yeah, it’s whatever. Just didn’t expect him to be here, that’s all.”

“Right,” you said, unconvinced.

xx

The bar was buzzing with laughter, clinking glasses, and the sound of upbeat music echoing through the dimly lit space. You spotted the familiar faces of Steve’s friends gathered around a large table in the back. Eddie waved energetically as you made your way over.

As Steve guided you toward the table, you could feel the tension still lingering in his posture. He ordered a couple of beers without looking at the menu, his gaze distant and unfocused.

"You alright?" you asked quietly so his friends wouldn’t hear, concern threading through your voice as you settled into your seat.

"Yeah, fine," he replied a bit too quickly, though his brow remained knit in a way that made it clear he was anything but.

You watched as he fiddled with his phone, seemingly absorbed in something that wasn’t there while you took a sip of your drink. Just then, you noticed Robin cutting through, her trademark smile lighting up her face as she approached the table.

“Hey, you two! Having fun?” she asked, sliding into the seat next to you. She was all energy, and you felt a flicker of relief wash over you at her presence.

“Sure,” Steve muttered, his tone lacking the usual enthusiasm. You exchanged a look with Robin, who raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on the vibe.

Robin leaned back in her chair, her eyes darting between you and Steve. “Okay, spill. What’s with the brooding, Harrington? Did someone steal your hair gel?”

Steve shot her a half-hearted glare. “Very funny,”

As the group chatted and shared stories, you felt Steve grow more distant. Finally, he excused himself from the table and you motioned for Robin to come sit by you.

“What’s up with Steve?” you asked, lowering your voice. “He's been acting weird the last hour,”

Robin narrowed her eyes. “I might be able to help with that. Just a bit of insight you'd probably find interesting: Steve hated Jason back in high school. Honestly, we all kind of did,”

“What? Really?” you replied, taken aback. “I didn’t realize.

“Oh, trust me,” Robin continued, crossing her arms. “They had some serious rivalry back in the day. And it’s not just that. Steve’s always been a bit... how do I put this? Jealous. He can’t help it.”

“Jealous?” Your heart raced with surprise. “Of what?

“Guys that approach you and flirt with you,” she shrugged.

“Flirt with me?”

Her lips curled into a smirk. “Oh babes, you’re terribly oblivious to notice when a guy is hitting on you,”

You shook your head, still processing because the very notion of Steve being jealous of anyone was absurd, considering how attractive he was and the magnetic personality he possessed. He was seriously so gorgeous. Also, his confidence and charm was undeniable so it was hard to imagine someone like him feeling threatened by anyone else.

Robin chuckled, shaking her head. “Oh, please. He’s low-key jealous all the time. Back in Chicago, he always gets weird if any guys talk to you for too long. He’ll just act like it’s no big deal, but I can always tell,”

You bit your lip, thoughts racing. “But he’s... he’s Steve. You know?” Why would he need to be jealous?

Robin sighed. “You know Steve used to be the guy who wanted to be liked by everyone, and then you came along, and everything changed. He only wanted you to like him. He talks about how crazy it is that you two are together, like he can’t believe his luck. But I think there’s a part of him that’s scared. Scared of losing you."

You blinked, trying to absorb everything Robin was saying. “Wait, does he really feel that way?”

“Yeah honestly, I’m kinda totally breaking best friend code telling you this. But, he’s like madly in love with you and I don’t blame him cause you’re hot as fuck,” Robin teased. “But sometimes, that makes him irrational. He gets lost in his own head, you know?” she said her tone more serious now.

You took a moment to consider this, the weight of Robin's words settling in. You felt the same way as him and it was funny to think you both had been struggling with the same insecurities. With a determined nod, you steeled yourself, excusing yourself from the conversation and making your way outside of the bar. As you approached, Steve didn’t seem to notice you at first; he was lost in thought, his brow furrowed and his fingers tapping restlessly on the hood of his BMW.

He turned to you, surprise flickering in his eyes for a split second. “Oh, hey,” he said.

“I need to tell you something,” you admitted, scratching the back of your neck as you looked away, unsure of how much to share.

His expression shifted slightly, a flash of concern crossing his face. “What do you mean?”

You sat on the hood of his car and pulled out your phone and dug into your pictures to find a private album. You found the picture you were looking for and turned the phone in his direction for him to see the picture.

Steve blinked at the screen, his eyes widening as he took in the image. The photo showed you in a stunning prom dress—a lavender dress that hugged your figure in all the right places, cascading in soft layers that swayed elegantly with every movement. Your hair was styled beautifully, and the softest smile adorned your lips.

"Wow," he breathed, seeming momentarily struck speechless. "You… you look amazing." A slight blush crept onto his cheeks as he met your gaze, and for a heartbeat, you both just stood there, staring at each other, the buzzing noise of the bar fading into the background.

“Thanks,” you replied, your voice quiet. “But…I just... I never ended up going to prom.” You paused, feeling a rush of embarrassment wash over you as you met his gaze. “No one asked me, so I just… I pretended.”

His brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes scanned the image again. "What do you mean you pretended?"

“I let my parents take this picture,” you explained, motioning to the photo still displayed on the screen. “I told them I was going to meet my ‘date’ at his house and that the group was there. I was too embarrassed to admit to my parents that I hadn’t been asked and that I didn’t have anyone to go with. So, I just ended up going to my favorite movie theater in that dress instead with a friend and rewatched all the Scream movies back-to-back,” you laughed lightly, trying to shrug off the awkwardness but felt the heat rising in your cheeks.

“I can’t believe someone as amazing as you didn’t get asked to prom,” he said softly, his voice laced with sadness.

He stepped in between your legs and kissed you. His lips were soft, his kisses gentle. Your hands roamed his chest and shoulders as you kissed him back.  

You pulled back and before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out. “Sometimes, I can’t believe I’m dating you, Steve. The truth is I still feel like that shy nerdy girl from high school, waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

His brow furrowed deeply, and he stepped closer, his gaze piercing yet gentle. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, the heat of embarrassment creeping up again as you struggled for the right words. “Like, every time I look at you, I think, ‘What’s the catch?’ It feels too good to be true sometimes. I mean even tonight at your reunion, I could see how girls looked at me… how even maybe Nancy looked at me,”

You took a breath, looking away, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes—or worse, the pity. But when you looked back, he was just watching you.

“You’re not the only one who feels that way,” he admitted. “From the first night I met you, I think I fell for you right then and there.” He paused, letting the weight of his words settle in the space between you.

“I was so nervous after that night. I didn't reach out for a whole week because I just... I don't know, I felt unworthy of your time. You’re so smart and beautiful, and I wasn’t even sure how I could measure up,” he confessed, running a hand through his hair, his familiar habit when he was anxious. “You’re so sure of yourself and it feels like you have your whole life figured out. I’m just… just some guy who just graduated college and got his first entry-level corporate job and I’m about to turn 29. I can’t shake the feeling that someone like you could do so much better.”

Your heart ached at his honesty. “Steve, no—” you started, but he held up a hand to stop you, his expression earnest.

“Let me finish,” he said gently, his voice steady. “Every time I see you with someone else, I can’t help but wonder if you’re looking for someone...better. Someone who can give you everything. I don’t want to be that guy who’s comparing himself to anyone else, especially not Jason Carver,” he growled, his voice laced with disdain. “But honestly, it’s just hard for me sometimes, especially when I know that fucking asshole is super successful and has done really well for himself,” Steve admitted, rolling his eyes.

“Steve, you’re not just ‘some guy’,” you insisted, grasping his hands within yours. “I’m so in love with you. You mean everything to me. When I’m with you, I don’t think about anyone else. You make me feel seen and heard in a way that I never thought I would experience,”

He opened his mouth to say something, but you pressed ahead. “And I want to emphasize how fucking proud I am of you. You got a fucking job with the Chicago Cubs, that’s amazing, handsome,” The corners of his mouth lifted as he processed your words.

“But that’s not why I love you. It’s about how you treat people, how you care about your friends, how you listen to me when I talk about my day. Every moment we spend together—every laugh, every time you’ve held my hand or made me feel safe—those are the things that matter to me. I fell for you Steve Harrington because you’re you.”

He looked down at your intertwined hands, a flicker of uncertainty still lingering in his demeanor. “I just…I guess I get scared when I see other guys looking at you,” You rolled your eyes, and he didn’t like that one bit.

“You don’t know how sexy you are,”

Your eyes widened, and you slapped him across the chest not believing him at all.   

“You heard me,” he said, leaning closer, his voice low and serious. “You are incredibly sexy, and you have this amazing energy that draws people in. If only you knew how many times I’ve caught others looking at you, too. It’s not just me who gets all fluttery at the sight of you,”

He let out a shaky breath. “I know how incredible you are. You’re the whole package, honey, and I’m just so afraid of losing you,”

The vulnerability in his eyes made your heart ache. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m right here,” you said, your voice steady.

“And the other shoe isn’t going to drop,” he vowed, giving your hand a light squeeze, feeling the warmth of his touch brought you a sense of calm. “I never want you to doubt how much you mean to me.”

You leaned in again, this time capturing his lips with yours in a softer, more lingering kiss. When you finally pulled away, he leaned in closer, resting his forehead against yours with a relaxed sigh.

He smiled for the first time in what felt like ages, the creases in his brow smoothing out. “Can we get outta here?” he asked, his thumb brushing softly against your knuckles.

“What about your friends?”

He brought your hands up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “We can see them tomorrow. Right now, I wanna take my pretty girl some place special,”

xx

The night air was cool, and the scent of pine hung around you as Steve drove with the windows down.

“Where are we going?” you asked, your fingers entwined with his.

He grinned, that boyish charm still intact. “It’s a surprise.”

As you rounded a bend, the trees parted to reveal a hidden little spot—a secluded lake. Moonlight danced on the water, and the gentle lapping of waves filled the silence. Steve put the car in park.

“Wow,” you whispered, taking in the view. “This is beautiful.”

He nodded, his gaze fixed on you. “I used to come here during high school. It was my escape,”

You raised an eyebrow. “Escape from what? Homework? Your lady friends?” you teased.

He chuckled. “Both, actually. But mostly…from life. This place—it’s where I’d sit and think. About the future, about who I wanted to be.”

You nudged him playfully. “And did you find any answers?”

He shrugged. “Not all of them.

You smirked. “Is this your old hookup spot?”

He shook his head, that familiar hint of redness creeping onto his cheeks. “No, no,” he said, grabbing your hand. “I never brought anyone here.” He paused, sincerity in his eyes. “Even back in high school, I think I knew I only wanted to share this place with someone special. I guess I was waiting for you,”

You felt a rush of warmth spread through you at his words, your heart skipping a beat. “Oh, really? So I’m special enough to be your lake date?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Not just a lake date,” Steve replied smoothly, leaning a little closer. “This is a ‘meant-to-be-shared’ kind of place. And you definitely fit the bill.”

You feigned a dramatic gasp. “Well, I’m glad I passed your test. Are there any other hidden gems I should know about?”

He smirked. “Maybe… but I think I’ll keep some of them a secret for now.”

“Like how to get you to take off that shirt?” you shot back.

“Bold move,” he said, pretending to consider it, his fingers grazing your leg. “But, what if I told you I had something else in mind?”

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? Do tell,”

His hand found its way further up your thigh, fingers dancing along your skin, teasingly close to where you craved his touch the most and he groaned when he felt your wetness and how soaked you were, realizing you had skipped out on underwear this evening.

“You weren’t wearing any panties this entire time?” he asked.

“Easy access,” you said, and then he crushed his lips to yours as he slowly pushed a finger inside of you.

You moaned against his mouth, and he moved his finger in and out of your cunt while you begged for more. He inserted another finger and curled his fingers up causing you to gasp, shutting your eyes tight. “Oh Steve, that feels so good, please don’t stop,”

He looked smug, you knew he loved it when you begged. “God you’re so wet honey. Always so wet for me,”

You arched your back instinctively, craving the pressure of his fingers deep inside you.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he mumbled into your neck, his thumb now stroking circles on your clit.

“I’m yours,”

“What about this tight little pussy?” he asked, kissing along your neck and jaw, while he picked up the pace and added a third finger.

“All yours,” you sobbed out. You didn’t recognize the sound of your own voice, already getting hoarse

“You’re so fucking pretty,” he muttered against your mouth. “so fucking pretty. Jesus fucking Christ,”

You let out a cry into his lips as he continued to work your clit, more urgently now. You could hear the mess you were making on his hand. It was obscene and filthy.

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight. I need to fuck you, but I need you to come for me first,”

“Steve,” you gasped, feeling the tight coil of pleasure building, ready to snap. “I’m so close.”

“Be a good girl and come for me, I want to watch you come.”

At his words, you clenched around his fingers and surrendered to the wave of ecstasy crashing over you. Your body tensed, and with a cry of his name, you shattered into a thousand pieces, pleasure coursing through you as he jerked his face towards you to meet your lips and plunged his tongue deep into your mouth.

He didn’t stop, riding out the waves with you, telling you how perfect you were for him, his fingers still moving deep inside of you until you came down from your high, panting and trembling.

“There we go honey, you did so good for me,” he cooed, kissing your forehead and removing his fingers from you. You whimpered at the feeling of being empty and watched him shove the fingers that had just been inside of you into his mouth, groaning at the taste of you.

“You know,” he murmured, his breath hot and inviting, “I think it’s time the dress comes off,” with a smirk, he slid the zipper down slowly, his eyes locked on yours.

“Me too,” you breathed, your heart racing.

As the dress loosened, the fabric slipped off your shoulders, falling softly into your lap. “Look at you,” he said, his gaze roaming over your bare skin. “My pretty girl,”

“You like what you see?” you teased.

“More than you can imagine,” he replied, his voice deepening as he leaned closer, brushing his lips against your shoulder.

With an intoxicating mix of urgency and tenderness, he guided you down to the back of the car, laying you back against the soft fabric of the car seat, as he shuffled out of his shirt, jeans and boxer briefs, and you threw your dress on the floor of his car as he lowered himself over you.

His lips traced a path from your shoulder down to your collarbone and then he slowly kissed a trail down your arm, his fingertips glided along your sides, sending shivers coursing through you. You arched slightly, wanting to feel more of him.

“Steve,” you whispered, your voice thick with desire, “I need you.”

His lips curled into a smirk as he positioned himself at your entrance, teasingly close, but not quite there yet. You could feel his warmth against you, the weight of him pressing you down softly. “Tell me again,” he commanded. “What do you want?”

“I want you, Steve. I need you inside me,” you breathed.

That was all it took. With a swift motion, he pushed into you, nice and slowly, filling you completely. A gasp escaped your lips as he fed you his cock and watched your face as you took him inch by inch.  The stretch ached but felt delicious all at the same time. He paused, letting you adjust, his forehead resting against yours, breathing heavily.

And in that secluded spot by the lake, with the stars as your witnesses, everything else faded away.

xx

Thank you so much for reading! If you like this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

Do these two deserve some drabbles or blurbs in the future?

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter nineteen ⭐︎ For you, I would ruin myself, a million little times

Warnings: angst, mentions of unrequited love, mentions of loss, insecurities, allusions to depression, mentions of cheating (jancy), sad memories, fluff at the end (with Steve, yes)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: You take a painful road down memory lane and it makes you question everything.

Word count: 10.4k+

⭐︎ as always a special shoutout to @hellfire--cult thanks for plotting and writing with me hehe

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter

♡

“Are you ready to tell me or not?” 

You look up from your plate, still chewing on the pasta that Eddie had cooked, you put down the fork and reach for your pepsi as you look at Max who stares at you with a tilted head, a knowing smile resting on her face. 

You shake your head and furrow your brows at the girl, glancing at Eddie who looks just as confused as you do. 

“Tell you what?” 

Max picks up her garlic bread and shrugs, “about you and Steve and how you’ve been sneaking around behind everyone’s backs,” she says nonchalantly before she takes a bite. 

You nearly choke on your drink, eyes growing wide, matching the ones of Eddie who seems to be just as surprised as you are, he even stopped eating. 

You blink, trying to process her words. 

“W-What?” Is all that you can say as you stare at the redhead, like a deer caught in headlights and with a pounding heart. 

“You know, at first I thought Lucas was crazy for teasing Steve about you and making all those comments about how perfect you two are for each other, especially because Steve always seemed just as annoyed with you as you with him but then he suddenly had different reactions whenever Lucas said something about you and I noticed how red his cheeks got every time he looked at you all lovey dovey,” she holds her finger up, eyes growing wide as she pointing at you to stay quiet, “and then… and then! You both started disappearing at the same time and started whispering to each other, sitting next to each other when it’s something you wouldn’t have done before, not to mention the secret hand holding,” Max laughs, shaking her head at you. 

Your eyes widen at her ‘lovey dovey’ comment, hope that has been rising in you more and more, burning warmly in your chest but Steve doesn’t look at you that way, does he? 

Eddie stares at her, feeling impressed by her observations. 

Just like him, you feel impressed too, shocked and a little nervous but not scared the way you would feel if it were anyone else but her. She can keep a secret and she is like a sister to you – and unfortunately, sisters always know everything and uncover secrets without a struggle.

“I don’t know how the others haven’t figured it out yet, you two are so obvious,” she snorts, picking up her fork again, she stabs her pasta onto it, “just as obvious as my mom and your uncle,” she says to Eddie who shrugs and nods in agreement, “I mean… does anyone actually believe that he’s fixing our fence? The fence is fine! … They go to Enzo’s like every Friday night, by the way.” 

Eddie chuckles and takes a bite of his food, “it’s only a matter of time until you and your mom move in with us.” 

You expect Max to roll her eyes at him but instead she smirks, “yeah, hope you’re ready to become my personal driver.” 

“Am I not your personal driver already?” Eddie snorts. “I mean, you even got two personal drivers, didn’t you both go shopping this morning?” He asks, pointing between you. 

“Yes we did, and we were very successful,” Max nods. 

You aren’t surprised about Susan and Wayne, they’re truly very obvious and now you can’t help but wonder if you and Steve are the same, with the exception that you two aren’t dating… sadly. 

Max looks away from Eddie, returning her gaze back to you, “so when were you gonna tell me that you and Steve are a couple?” 

Eddie coughs, glancing at you sideways as he grimaces when he sees your falling expression. 

“They’re not a couple,” Eddie says for you, noticing the way your eyes sadden and your lips curl downwards at his words. 

Max furrows her brows, tilting her head at you and giving Eddie a look of confusion. 

“What–”

“Yeah, Steve and I are not… dating.” 

The past few weeks have felt like it though, it felt like there was something more between you and him, and after finding out that you have been the only girl for him these past few months, it started feeling even more like it. 

Max stares at you now, eyebrows pulling up and eyes flashing with even more confusion, “but… huh?” 

“They’re just having… uh… fun, Red,” Eddie chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he leans back in his seat, “you know… adult fun.” 

You roll your eyes at his choice of words, just the way she does before she gives him a deadpan look. 

“I’m not five, Eddie! I know what they’re doing but that makes no sense!”

“What doesn’t make sense?” You ask and reach for your drink again. 

She looks down bewildered, dropping her fork and waving with her hands as she points at you, “Billy had fun and you know how much fun he had!” 

You chuckle and nod.

“But he never held hands with those girls or looked at them like… like he was in love or something! He had fun and then he moved on to… the next… fun. It’s different with you and Steve though!” 

A sigh falls from your lips and your shoulders slump as you lean back. 

Yeah, of course it’s different with you and Steve, the difference between Billy’s fun and your fun is that he never loved any of the girls he had been with, you on the other hand, are sickly and madly in love with the guy you are having ‘fun’ with and you are pretty certain that Steve doesn’t feel the same, no matter what anyone says. 

Eddie glances at you, waiting for you to say something, to tell her the truth because he knows you will, you don’t seem to feel the need to hide from Max, knowing she won’t run off to her friends and tell them all about it and risking it reaching Steve, Max isn’t like that, especially not when it comes to you.

“It’s not, Max…” You sigh, looking down at your hands. 

She raises her eyebrows again, squinting her eyes at you. 

“So… you’re saying it’s actually just fun?” She asks like she almost wants to chuckle in amusement. 

You sigh again and raise your head again, rolling your eyes, “well… yeah… no, I– fuck… no, no it’s not just fun… not for me.” 

Eddie looks at you sadly, sighing too. 

“And Steve?” 

You shrug, despite the hope in you, you don’t know what he feels, if he even feels anything for you. 

“It’s just… fun… for him?” You mumble, flinching at your own words. 

“Uh… is it?” Max mumbles, not looking or sounding convinced.

“It’s what he said,” Eddie shrugs, rolling his eyes when he thinks back to the night he confronted you both, “and he seemed pretty set on it, he said it just that and nothing more when I found out about it.”

“Mhm.” You nod, hiding your face as you tilt your head down again, not wanting to show more feelings than necessary. “Can we talk about something else now, please?” 

Eddie nods, “sure–”

“No,” Max shakes her head, “I wanna talk about this!” 

“My relationship with Steve isn’t appropriate to discuss with a teenager–”

“Oh, so there is a relationship,” Max interrupts you, giving you a smug smirk. 

“No, there isn’t, you know what I mean!” 

She chuckles and crosses her arms over her chest, continuing to stare at you. 

“So… Do you love him then?”

Your eyeroll is enough of an answer to that question. 

“I knew it,” she murmurs under her breath, “and what about him, you think he doesn’t feel the same?” She asks, thinking that her own question sounds absurd, she saw the way Steve looked at you, multiple times already. 

“I know he doesn’t,” you shrug. 

“Why not?” 

“Because he hated me, Max–”

“Yeah, he obviously hated you so so much, that’s why you’re holding hands now and kissing every time you think no one’s watching! I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t hold hands and kiss my enemy… oh! Or look at them with lovesick smiles and everything!” 

You sigh again, tilting your head back as you look up at the ceiling. 

This isn’t good for you, it really isn’t, you don’t need to be fed with more delusions. 

“I think he feels the same, it’s pretty clear!”

“If it’s so clear then why isn’t it being talked about?” Eddie retorts, not feeling convinced of Max’s words, “why didn’t he say anything to change their relationship yet? I mean, he had no issue talking to his ex-girlfriend about his feelings for her when he knew she was with someone else! Oh and by the way, Nancy cheated on him and left him for someone else and he still confessed his feelings for her again… years later, he knew he would look like an absolute fool – which he did but that didn’t stop him! So what should stop him now, hm? He’s got nothing to lose with her!” Eddie points at you, “she never hurt him, she has no one else that he has to compete against, she fucking loves him! So him confessing his feelings for her wouldn’t ruin anything like it would have with Nancy or Jonathan if they reacted badly to his stupid confession!” 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, ignoring the stinging in your heart. 

You knew all about his love confession to Nancy – their conversation in the RV was only the first step towards it. You remember the jealousy you felt when he told her about his dream, about the kids and the future he always wished for, you knew who he saw by his side when he talked about it all. To find out that he confessed his love to her in the Upside Down made you feel even worse,  especially when you were still recovering from all your injuries. Robin rambled away about it and told you every detail, you didn’t even ask for. 

Eddie’s words make your heart ache yet again, you know he is right, but they kill your hope a little and you are holding onto it so tightly. 

Max, on the other hand, refuses to agree with him, she squints her eyes at him, leaning closer to the table, “maybe he is scared, Eddie? Have you thought of that? I mean, the whole thing with Nancy was… a heat of the moment kind of thing, there was literally nothing between them but there is something between them!” She argues, pointing at you. 

“I have thought about it,” Eddie nods, “but if I feel like I might lose someone I love for not saying anything to them, I damn right would do something!” 

“I love him, Eddie,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up at your vulnerable confession in front of Max, “but I never plan on telling him how I feel, so…”

Max groans at your words and rolls her eyes, “two idiots, I swear to god, I bet Steve is feeling and saying the same shit to whoever else knows.” 

“Robin,” Eddie nods at her. 

Robin, yeah. 

Robin who is suddenly not as fond of you as she was before, rolling her eyes and scoffing at you every chance she gets, irritating you a little more every time you’re around her now. You considered her a close friend before she suddenly turned on you and started acting weirdly towards you. You don’t know what her deal is but you suspect that she minds your presence around her best friend, fearing that you might ‘steal’ him from her because he is spending less time with her and more with you – as though she wasn’t the first to ditch him to be with Vickie. 

“Great!” Max shrugs, “then why don’t you talk to her, try to get information out of her… since you two are accomplices?”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head quickly, turning to Eddie in panic, “please don’t! Don’t talk to Robin, Eddie! She’s gonna tell Steve and if he doesn’t feel the same then…” 

Eddie shakes his head at you, not needing you to finish the sentence. He reaches his hand out to you and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, “I won’t, don’t worry,” he sighs, looking at you with sympathy in his eyes. He knows how deep your feelings are for Steve, how much you love him and how long you have loved him for already and now that you somewhat have him, you try to do everything to keep him, even when you are breaking your own heart in the process. 

He isn’t fond of this affair because he has an idea of how it will end and he fears that day, knowing what it will do to you but he can’t do anything to change it, he can’t save you from heartbreak, knowing it will happen sooner or later. 

You slump back in your seat, feeling pathetic for feeling this way, for holding on so desperately when there is only a small chance that there might be something and even that chance isn’t enough for you to go and find out the truth, not even when hope lingers in you after all the sweet moments you had with him. 

Max looks at you in a way her brother once did, when he found out the truth and realized just how deep your feelings were, back then already. 

You remember how the look in his eyes went from shock to confusion to sadness and sympathy. 

And you remember how awkward and embarrassed you had felt that night. 

It was raining outside, the windows were fogged and the smell of sex lingered in the room, you never knew what people meant by it when they mentioned that smell until that night. Your forehead was coated with sweat, your cheeks were glowing and feeling hot, your skin smelled like him, like his cologne and his aftershave, and your body felt different, not in a bad way, just in a foreign one.

You held the sheets tightly against your chest and looked out the window, watching as the rain paddled down the glass, a smile tugged at your lips and your chest wasn’t filled with sadness for once. 

“Hey,” Billy said and pulled your attention back to him, “give me a smile.” 

You turned your head to look at him, a giggle fell from your lips when you noticed the polaroid camera in his hands, his eyes were squinted and a smirk lingered on his face. 

“Seriously?” 

He took a picture of you before you reached forward and swatted the camera out of your face. 

Billy leaned back from you and held the camera away so you couldn’t reach it, he laughed at the bashful expression on your face.

“Need a picture of your special first time,” he joked and laughed again when you rolled your eyes at him and blushed. 

He took the picture out and started shaking it for reveal. He leaned back against your pillows and reached for his beer, drinking it while staring at you. 

“Well, we are not doing that again,” he said and you knew that it would’ve offended many other girls, but not you, because you felt the same. 

“Yeah, it didn’t feel right, did it?” You scrunched your nose. 

“Not at all,” Billy laughed before his face grew serious as his eyes roamed your face, “do you feel alright?” He asked in concern because he noticed how distant you looked, like your mind was somewhere else or with someone else.

He straightened up and furrowed his brows at you, “who are you thinking about?” 

You felt caught and you felt ashamed. 

You never admitted your feelings for Steve to anyone, they didn’t even make sense so how could you even begin to describe them? 

You looked down and closed your eyes, you pulled your brows together as though in pain and it only made him more curious.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?” Billy asked and dropped the polaroid camera and the picture on the mattress beside him. He placed the beer back on the nightstand and grabbed his pack of cigarettes instead, “is he ugly?” 

His question made you snort, you opened your eyes again and looked at his serious face. 

“No, he is not ugly, not in the slightest.” 

His lips curled downwards for a moment as he nodded, “do I know him?” He asked before he placed a cigarette between his lips. 

You only gave him a look and that was enough to confirm his question. 

He hummed and kept staring at you with a curious look on his face, he lit up his cigarette and threw the lighter on the nightstand, taking a long drag before he blew the smoke out. 

“I do, huh?” He chuckled and squinted his eyes at you, “are you gonna tell me or are you gonna let me guess?”

You smirked and shrugged at him, you held the blanket tighter against your chest and reached for the camera beside him, “guess, Billy,” you teased him as though your heart didn’t start pounding from all the nervousness inside of you. 

“Jesus,” he sighed in annoyance, “is he popular or a loser?” 

You shrugged and squinted your eye as you brought the camera up to your face and wasted no second to take a picture of him too, he didn’t seem to mind, not like you did. 

He started saying names, random names of guys you weren’t even sure went to Hawkins High. You kept shaking your head and saying no, you felt surprised that Steve’s name hadn't left his lips yet. 

“Huh, it’s not the drug dealer is it? What’s his name again?”

“Uh… You mean Eddie?” 

He nodded and pointed his finger at you, “yeah, him.”

You shook your head, “no, he’s cute but no, he’s not really my type,” you mumbled and sighed, “probably would’ve been better if it was someone like him, he’s nice, at least.” 

He hummed and stared at you, he fell quiet for a while and his face grew serious after a few minutes, then his eyes widened and he cursed under his breath. 

“Fuck… girl, please don’t tell me that it’s King Steve.” 

Your breath hitched in your throat and your face started burning beneath his gaze, you couldn’t stand to look into his eyes any longer so you broke eye contact and looked down at your hands in your covered lap. 

“Shit…” He sighed and slumped back, looking at you in disbelief, like you had fallen in love with his arch nemesis. 

“I know,” you mumbled in annoyance because you knew what he was about to say, “you don’t have to tell me how stupid I am, I already know that.” 

Billy stayed quiet for a moment and stared at the pained expression on your face. Yeah, he was about to say something stupid about Steve, about his stupid hair and your feelings for him but when he looked closer – and he knew you pretty well at that point, he could see just how much pain lingered behind your eyes, how glassy they got and how your bottom lip wobbled just the slightest bit. 

He was never the best with words and he certainly was never someone to give comfort, he didn’t even know how to, no one ever comforted him, only you did. 

He bit his tongue and swallowed the bitter words that were about to leave his lips. 

He opened his mouth but shut it again when he saw you wiping away a tear. 

Billy sighed and ran a hand through his mullet, he pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his eyes at the thought of the jock. 

“It’s pretty serious isn’t it?” 

You only nodded and said nothing. 

“So… you’re like in love with him or some shit?”

“I guess so,” you whispered even though you knew for certain. “Feels like it’s tearing my heart apart or something every time I see him, every time he says something dumb to me.” 

“How…?” He asked and sighed again, “shit, I knew you liked him, you wouldn’t have defended him every chance you got but I thought you were just being nice to that fucker… Jesus…”

You shook your head again and slowly looked up at your best friend, “I can’t give you an answer, Billy. I don’t know how it happened, it just… happened. That’s gonna sound so cheesy but… when I first saw him I just… I felt safe and comfortable… happy. He smiled at me when he passed me in the hallway and I just – I don’t know, I can’t explain this feeling and it doesn’t matter anyways, he turned out to be a dick who hates my guts so… I’ll get over these feelings someday.” 

Billy didn’t believe your words and you didn’t either. 

You have loved him at first sight and that never changed or lessened, your feelings kept getting worse and worse and it made no sense because he kept treating you badly. 

You were infatuated with him, bewitched. 

You expected Billy to judge you but he didn’t, you thought he would say bad things about Steve but he never did, at least not when it came to you and your feelings for him. 

If anything, Billy encouraged you to act on your feelings, to get closer to him, to make a move and try. 

And you did, but it only made everything worse. 

And now, you stare at his sister and watch as she tries to do the same.

It went sideways the first time and you fear that it won’t go any different this time – yes, things have changed, you and Steve are something now, something you would have never seen coming a year before, especially after what happened when you did try to make a move on him. You just can not find it in yourself to even try, to gather all your confidence and use the sliver of hope to confess to him in hopes that he could feel the same, that you could be something more than what you are now. 

You can feel that things have shifted into a different direction, the softness in his eyes, his gentle touches and acts of affection are proof of that and still, you fear rejection and losing this because this thing between you is just too fragile, too easy to break and ruin. 

It’s not long ago that Steve couldn’t even bare to look at you without rolling his eyes or scoffing some cold words at you and you try not to think of them, to leave things in the past, to not go over his hurtful words again and again but something inside of you seems to manifest all the saddening and painful words your poor heart was attacked with in the past and you can’t fight off those memories, you try to but you can’t and it saddens you even more because the past few weeks with Steve, have been nothing but heavenly to you. 

You woke up in his arms every morning, he held you through the night, woke you with kisses and cooked you breakfast, he held your hand and treated you as if you were his, like you were his girlfriend and he your boyfriend – you got a taste of something you always craved and longed for and that should bring you peace, it really should but he is showing you, giving you something that you know he will take away again when the time comes. 

When you step into your house after dropping Max off at El’s, you make your way up to your bedroom and open your closet, looking for something comfortable to change into, when the navy blue color flashes in your peripheral vision. You grab a pair of your sleeping shorts and a random shirt of Steve’s, trying to ignore the dress that practically stares at you, forcing you to recall one of your worst memories. 

You clutch your clean clothes to your chest and take a look at the pretty sundress you bought at the GAP store when Starcourt mall was still intact. You reach out to touch it, pinching the thin material between your thumb and your pointer finger, a sad smile tugs at your lip when you think back to the day you bought it – just to look pretty for him. 

Your best friend kept encouraging you, filling you with hope that you could have a chance with Steve, that he wouldn’t say no to you if you tried to make a move, if you tried to ask him out, if you went after your feelings. Week after week had passed and Billy forced confidence onto you and pushed you towards a guy he didn’t even like. 

You kept denying his words, you knew you had no chance with him, not even after you graduated from high school, not even after Steve had changed and his mean words became less harsh. 

And yet, a part of you listened to Billy, that naive and hopeful part of you that really wanted her crush to like her back and give her the chance she always wanted. 

You bought a pretty dress, you got your hair done and did your makeup, lighter and girlier than usual, you put on your favorite perfume and jewelry and you decided to give it a try – you shouldn’t have, you should’ve listened to your brain and not your heart. 

The mall was bustling with people, kids were running around the water fountain, a group of young girls rushed past you, giggling in excitement as they carried their many shopping bags, you were standing in front of Scoops Ahoy, with your cheeks burning and your heart racing. 

In all honesty, you had no idea what you were doing, you came up with no plan before you came here, you just woke up that morning and decided that Billy was right, that you could take a chance and go after what you wanted – you had nothing to lose, except for your dignity. Besides, you were no longer in school, if things went wrong, you could easily avoid him.

You had taken a look inside, only a few teenagers sat by the window, it wasn’t crowded, not in the slightest. You saw him, he was standing behind the counter with his back turned to you as he was talking to his co-worker who spoke to him through the small window between them. 

Your heart skipped a beat when he turned to the side, a smile lingered on his face as he nodded along to the music that played on the radio. 

You could have still turned back, you could have still left without being seen, without having made a fool of yourself. But you didn’t, you didn’t turn around, you didn’t change your mind, you walked into your own demise. 

You took a deep breath and walked up to the counter, you twisted the ring on your finger and focused on him. He looked so good, even in his silly uniform, he looked so pretty. His sailor hat was laying on the counter and he was twisting the ice cream scooper in his hand, he only turned around when his co-worker, Robin, nudged her chin at you before she turned her back to him and disappeared further into the room. 

You blinked and breathed heavily as you realized that you didn’t even know what to say, you didn’t prepare for this, you were never good with words or conversing with boys, you didn’t know how to flirt – well, you did, Billy taught you, but you had never used your newly learned skill before. 

And when Steve turned around to face, it was too late to think of what to say, anyways. 

“Ahoy–” his cheerful words cut short and the smile on his face fell when he saw you, “oh, it’s you.” 

That should have been enough to change your mind, to make you turn back and run the other way. 

“Hi Steve.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped and he slid his scooper back into place, he put his hands on the counter and sighed. 

“Blondie,” he nodded. 

You were too nervous to see the way he looked at you, the way his eyes roamed your face and your styled hair, your glowing skin and your pretty dress, the way his cheeks changed color as he kept staring at you. 

“What can I get for you?” He asked and cleared his throat as he gestured to the many ice cream flavors. 

You shifted and tilted your head to the side, your hair fell from your shoulder and down your back. He looked again, at your exposed skin, at the dainty chain around your neck. 

“I uh… I’m… I don’t know yet,” you stuttered and felt yourself growing more nervous than before. 

Steve sighed and looked away from you, “of course,” he murmured under his breath. 

Your cheeks burned hotly, your eyes felt heavy and you looked down as you already felt the regret rushing through your body. You wanted to say something, anything, but all your words were caught in your throat, everything you would’ve said if he liked you a little more were stuck and frozen. 

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath, you looked at his face and wondered why you even let Billy encourage you and talk you into doing this. The few ‘nice’ interactions you had with Steve meant nothing. The smile he wore on his lips before could never be directed at you, the soft look in his hazel eyes disappeared the moment he saw you, the tone in his voice changed in an instant. 

“How are you…?” You asked, cringing at yourself, at the question, at the shakiness in your voice. 

He looked back at you and raised his eyebrows, an unamused chuckle fell from his lips. 

“What do you want?” He asked and shrugged at you, “we’re out of high school, we don’t have to see each other anymore and I know you’re not here for ice cream, you usually don’t have an issue making a decision, so why are you here, Blondie?”

You could not help but draw back as a cold shudder ran down your spine, you blinked and looked down. 

You missed the look of guilt that flashed in his eyes when he watched you step back and you closed your eyes for a moment, your brows scrunched together as though in pain. 

He was always this way, you knew what you were stepping into, you knew how he would react and you couldn’t blame him, you weren’t exactly nice to him in school and snapped back at him every time he threw a rude comment at you. 

You swallowed and took a deep breath, you looked back up at him, at the hazel eyes you always loved so much. 

Steve huffed and he took a deep breath, he stared at you intensely and you didn’t know what it meant, a part of you thought that it was his hatred, the other was foolishly hopeful. 

“Yeah… I know but I just… I thought that maybe we could,” you paused as your heart felt as though it was about to tear from your chest any moment. He looked at you so intensely, he made you feel so small beneath his gaze. 

“We could what?” He asked a little too harshly and made you cower back. 

“This was a bad idea,” you whispered to yourself and took another step back, “I’m sorry I just…”

“What’s up with you?” Steve mumbled and furrowed his brows at you, confused at the side of you he never met before. “Did you miss being annoying so much that you had to come bother me at work, Blondie?” 

You heard the teasing in his voice, you saw the sliver of amusement in his eyes but you really only focused on the way your heart clenched in pain and how regret took on full control. 

You rolled your eyes, not at him but at yourself, at your foolishness.

Of course he doesn’t want to see you, why would he? 

He never liked you and he certainly wouldn’t start now, he would probably laugh into your face if you asked for what you came for – a date. 

Your cheeks were nearly hurting from all the blushing, your heart was skipping and pounding, your hands felt clammy. You never felt the need to cry in front of him, you never felt vulnerable around him because your walls were always high up and guarded by a second layer, now you came without protection and decided to let yourself be vulnerable for once, only to feel like breaking down from the embarrassment that was gnawing at you. 

“Cat got your tongue? That’s new…” He chuckled and stared you down still, eyebrows still furrowed and lips pursed. His hardened expression fell a little and something else took over, something you couldn’t read. “Did someone stand you up?” 

Steve wasn’t used to your silence so you weren’t surprised about the confusion on his face. You looked at him again and caught him eyeing you up and down, his eyes lingered on your dress for longer than necessary. 

His question went unanswered and he grew frustrated with you. 

“Can’t blame them if they did,” he mumbled, throwing daggers at your heart. 

That stung. 

Normally his words would’ve angered you and you would’ve shot back straight away, despite your feelings for him, you wouldn’t have kept quiet or struggled to say something back but not today, today you let him hurt you – deep down you knew this would happen, this was always how you interacted, he said something mean and then you would too. His words were nothing new and yet they cut deep. 

You swallowed hard and dug your nails into your palms, your breathing quickened and you knew you had to get out of here but something kept you standing, you felt as though you were frozen. 

Steve coughed awkwardly and looked away for a moment, he grabbed his scooper again, “so… wanna eat your feelings or what?” He asked and pointed at the many flavors, eyes back on you. 

“No–”

“Hi, Steve!”

You nearly flinched at the high pitched voice and had to hold back the eyeroll when you saw the girl next to you, who didn’t bother to hide the dirty looks she gave you before she returned her attention back to him, flashing him a sickly sweet smile that made his eyes light up.

The girl used to be on the cheer team, very popular and gossipy, unkind and one of the most unpleasant people you have met – and she usually spends her Saturday nights in Billy’s sheets.

Steve’s eyes were no longer on you, instead they were stuck on the pretty girl beside you, he eyed her up and down, not with distaste or annoyance but with interest and a smirk on his lips. 

“Hey, how are you?” He asked and leaned against the counter, a flirty look crossed his face, “you look amazing, Olivia.” 

She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger, she licked her lips as she eyed him like she was hungry. 

“So do you.”

Steve smirked at her and chuckled softly. 

At that point, you didn’t know what you felt because your sadness ran so deep, you didn’t have it in yourself to feel jealous anymore. 

You just felt like a fool. 

And you felt angry, at yourself and at him for being so horrible to you. Olivia’s giggles did nothing to make you feel less horrible, like nails on chalkboard her voice was irritating you in the worst way possible, so before leaving, you turned towards her and when she met your gaze with a fake smile, you matched the look on her face. 

“Wouldn’t waste your time here, Olivia,” you said her name, mockingly and looked her up and down, not feeling jealous over the ugly sandals or the green skirt she was wearing. “He only flirts to pass time. Besides, isn’t that your boyfriend waiting for you?” You asked and tilted your head at the guy in front of the store, he was already glaring at Steve. 

Olivia clenched her jaw and glared at you, huffing in annoyance which gave you a little satisfaction. 

“Better not leave him waiting or someone might tell him what or who you do every Saturday night.” 

Her pale face grew even… paler and you couldn’t even bite back the smirk, despite the blow that was just delivered to your heart. 

Steve raised his eyebrows as he looked between you, he saw the way you blinked, fastly, he saw how glassy your eyes were despite the look on your face. 

You turned back to him and looked at him with a straight face, “you usually don’t mind sharing your girls though, do you? So… go nuts,” you shrugged before you turned around and walked away from him, not planning to look back. 

You should have, you should have looked back because then you would’ve seen the guilt in his eyes, the regret that crossed his features, the tension that slipped off his shoulders and the disinterest that took over for the girl in front of him. The sadness that flashed in his eyes for missing an opportunity, for letting you go like this. 

But you didn’t, you kept going and you rushed back out into the bustling mall, you blinked away the tears and made your way back home. You tore the dress off your skin the moment you stepped into your room. 

And you never wore it again. 

You roll your eyes at yourself for feeling pain for the girl you were a year before, for still hurting because of the things he said to you, for the way he looked at you, for the way he flirted with a different girl in front of you. 

The past doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter, especially not now, not anymore – not after what you have gone through together, not after he changed, not after he started treating you differently, not after all the nights and mornings you have spent with each other, not after all the gentle touches, not after the way he kissed you and held you close that one night, not after he called you late at night just to hear your voice. 

He is different now, you are different now, you aren’t the teenagers you were a year back. 

The past shouldn’t hurt. 

You slam the closet door shut and walk out of your room and into the bathroom, you start the shower, letting the water warm up while you take off your clothes. You feel frustration bubbling inside of you, the conversation with Max and her encouraging words triggered all the memories that you refused to think about in these past few months. 

The day at Scoops Ahoy made you sad and angry, it made you want to never see him again, you avoided the mall after that day and you didn’t see much of him after. You hated yourself for hoping, for going after your feelings, for believing that you could have a chance after Billy’s encouragement – Billy who pushed you away only a week later, with harsh words and a mean look on his face, he pushed you away when you needed him the most and you felt alone again, so alone. At that time, you didn’t understand why he did it, why he didn’t want you in his life anymore, you didn’t know that he was just trying to protect you from the upside down, from himself. 

And then he died and you lost yourself completely. 

You drowned your sorrows in alcohol and kissed the lips of strangers, you let them touch you in hopes that you would feel something, you woke up in their beds and hated yourself after because no matter how good they were to you, how nice the conversations went, how much they made you laugh, how nice they made you feel, they couldn’t make you forget about the friend you lost, they couldn’t make you forget about him, they couldn’t give you what you wanted, what you needed, what you longed for. 

You searched for glimpses of Steve in every man you kissed and you hated yourself for it because you wondered why you even felt that way for someone who couldn’t even stand you, who hated you with all his being. 

What made you fall in love with him? 

What tied you to him the way it did? 

Because he never gave you a reason to fall in love with him back then, he treated you unkindly from the moment you met and yet you couldn’t help your feelings, you couldn’t help but adore him, you couldn’t help but admire him. 

You even felt your own heart break when you found out about what Nancy did to him, how she broke his heart so carelessly, how she cheated on him with her friend. 

And you felt it break even more when he still wanted her, even after everything she did to him, he loved hard, just like you did, like you do. No matter what she did to him, he still loved her. 

And now, you can’t help but ask yourself the question that you have always avoided. 

Does he still have feelings for her? 

You wonder if he still wants her, if he still wishes for a future with her, if she is still the one he craves by his side. 

He doesn’t look at her the way he used to, not anymore, he doesn’t seem sad around her the way he did after she rejected him and yet, you still wonder, if you are just someone he passes time with while he hopes that she might change her mind in the future. If you are the person he finds comfort in because he can feel that you love him the way she never did.  

Are you the replacement? The filler? 

You feel yourself crashing, the water feels hot on your skin but you feel the shudder running down your spine, the goosebumps that rise on your skin make you shiver, your throat tightens and your eyes blur with tears as your heart clenches in your chest. 

You wipe your tears in anger even though your whole face is wet from the water pouring down on you, you turn off the water and open the curtain in anger, you reach for your towel and wrap it around your body. 

You wipe the fog off the mirror and look at your reflection, at the marks on your neck, at the tears running down your cheeks. 

Are you stupid for crying when you knew exactly what you were signing up for? 

You always knew what this was to him and you were satisfied with it because you just wanted him, no matter how, you wanted him and you got him. 

But you can’t stop your heart from aching because somehow, you fell even harder for him and you can’t stop from hurting when you think about what you are to him and what you might never be. 

Just sex. 

A friend… nothing more than a friend, that’s what he said, you are just a friend. 

The confidence that only started growing inside of you not too long ago begins to crumble and you don’t know how to stop it from falling apart. 

You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart and the thoughts that drive you mad. You take a look around, at the things he left in your bathroom, his toothbrush next to yours, his body wash and shampoo in your shower, his Farrah Fawcett hairspray that no one can know about. 

Would all this be here if you didn’t mean something to him? 

Would he have made space in one of his drawers just for your stuff if this meant nothing? 

Would he have let you in if he still wanted someone else? 

Does he even still want someone else? 

You huff in annoyance for letting yourself fall into this spiral of overthinking. You feel as though all these questions come to haunt you for pushing them away all these weeks and now you feel a headache coming and you grow irritated with yourself and with your insecurities. 

You shut them down as best as you can and busy yourself with other things, you moisturize your skin and blow dry your hair. You put on your fresh clothes and comb through your hair before you leave the bathroom, it’s much darker in the hallway than expected, the grayish clouds hide the sun and the sound of thunder rumbles in the far distance, drops of rain already paint your windows. 

Goosebumps rise on your skin and an unsettling feeling sinks into the pit of your stomach. You feel the cold wind on your exposed skin from the open window in your bedroom, you make your way inside, pushing the blowing curtains away as you reach forward to shut the window. 

Lightning surges through the sky, deep purple colors flash in the darkening clouds far away. You would’ve felt your heart dropping by now if you didn’t notice the burgundy car parked in your driveway, the door opens and he steps out, a second later, a brown paper bag in his hand and something tucked beneath his arm, he shuts the door and locks it, wasting no time to find shelter under the roof on your porch as it starts raining harder. 

Instead of dropping, your heart skips a beat, forgetting all about the pain it just felt from the saddening thoughts in your mind. 

Through all your overthinking and pondering, you forgot that he was coming over. 

You shut the window and rush downstairs, opening the door as he rings the doorbell for a second time. A frown lingers on his face but it disappears when his eyes lock with yours as soon as you open the door and a smile tugs at his lips instead. 

“Hey Blondie,” he breathes and rushes inside when you step aside to let him in, “looks like the end of the world out there.” 

“Hi…” 

You close the door and lock it before you turn around to face him. 

Steve kicks off his shoes and throws the movie tapes that were tucked beneath his arm on the counter where you keep your keys and sunglasses, he puts his keys into the little bowl and then he steps towards you and reaches for your hand, he pulls you towards him and takes you by surprise when he leans down and smacks his lips against yours, kissing you shortly. Greeting you with a kiss, something he had never done before. 

Your eyes widen a little and your throat tightens for a different reason now, you stare at him, unable to hide the surprised look on your face. 

And Steve, he furrows his brows and his smile falls a little, not because of your widened eyes but because of the glassiness in them, he frowns as worry swirls in his chest. 

“Hey,” he murmurs and lets go of your hand to cup the side of your face, letting his thumb linger on your cheek, “is everything okay?” 

You blink. 

Your heart jumps at his action, at the question, at the concern in his soft brown eyes. You breathe in deeply, you open and close your mouth a few times, unable to find the right words. 

You didn’t cry all that much, it’s not so visible on your face, is it? 

“Did something happen?” He asks, a little softer this time. 

You shake your head, “n-no, I’m fine, just tired, I’m probably coming down with something…” You lie. 

“In the summer?” 

You force a smile and look down, shrugging, “guess I’m not that strong…” 

“Well, then let me take care of you,” he whispers and caresses your cheek. 

You wonder if he knows what he does to you with such words and actions, you sometimes wish he knew that your heart leaps every time he does such things, maybe then he would take pity on you and not fill you with so much hope, even in your worst moments. 

You nod at him and let him take your hand back in his, he gives you a sweet smile that nearly makes you crumble. 

“So how was your day?” Steve asks as he tugs you along with him and leads you into your kitchen.

You swallow the lump in your throat and shrug, “good, I went shopping with Max and then we ate lunch with Eddie.” 

Steve smiles at that, he places the brown paper bag on the kitchen table and turns to face you. 

The soft look in his eyes and the smile on his lips makes you feel guilty for the thoughts that rushed through your mind just moments before. This side of him is the only one you have known in the past few weeks, the gentle and sweet side you never thought you’d ever get to see. 

“I got us dinner, burgers and fries but I got the fancy ones from Enzo’s,” he chuckles and lets go of your hand, stepping away from you and towards the sink. “Did you find anything?” He asks as he runs the water and uses the hand soap you always leave in your kitchen to wash his hands. 

You furrow your brows at his question, feeling a little lost and confused. 

“Hm?” 

“When you went shopping.” 

“Oh.” You nod your head, you went back to the jewelry store to look for new rings and the necklace you fell in love with but it was already gone, it would’ve looked pretty with the dress you picked out for Joyce’s and Hopper’s wedding. “Yeah, I finally got a dress for the wedding… oh and shoes… and makeup.” 

Steve smiles fondly when he turns back to you, “what color is your dress?” 

“Uh, it’s black,” you say and walk over to the fridge to grab a drink for you both, “sounds boring, right? But it’s really pretty and I got some pink heels to go with it.”

“It doesn’t sound boring,” he shakes his head at you and carries two plates to the kitchen table, “besides, you look gorgeous in anything.”

You freeze. 

Your eyes grow wide and your cheeks start burning. 

Gorgeous? 

He surely never called you that before, especially not after greeting you with a kiss on your lips. 

“T-Thanks, Steve.”

He hums in response and you look back at him to see him placing the food on the plates, putting more fries on yours than on his. His brows are pulled together in concentration, his lips pressed together, his hair looks a little messed up from the wind but he looks so cute like this. 

And you can’t help but think of how intimate this all is, him kissing you after walking in, him asking you about your day and the color of your dress, him plating your dinner.  

You can’t help but hate yourself for all the overthinking and reminiscing of the things that happened in the past. 

You close the fridge with a sigh and make your way back to the table, placing the coke in front of his plate. 

“Thanks, Honey.”

You give him a smile and sit down across from him, looking down at the delicious food in front of you, “I’m horrible, you always cook for us or order something and I never do anything.” 

Steve shakes his head, glaring at you, “you’re not horrible and that’s not true, you cooked breakfast and dinner before.” 

You pop open your soda can, “yeah, I made french toast and sandwiches.” 

“Yeah and it was amazing, now shut up and eat your dinner, kid,” he says playfully, his eyes glinting with amusement when you laugh. 

You push your hair out of your face and pick up the burger, unaware of the fond smile that tugs at his lips as he watches you take a bite. His eyes roam your face, your eyes are a little red and he can’t help but think that you lied to him about feeling sick, you look fine, you just look a little… sad and it makes him feel upset because he knows that you won’t talk about it, especially not with him but he wants to be there for you, he wants to give you a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, he wants to give you comfort. 

He looks down at the shirt on your body and when he recognizes it, his eyes lighten up and warmth blooms in his chest, it’s his shirt. 

He bites back the smile as he looks down and starts eating too, welcoming the comfortable silence between you as the rain paddles down the windows, the thunder still crashing somewhere, far away. 

You flinch every time a loud crash booms through the sky, it’s nothing new to him, he noticed it the very first time it happened. Every time the sky turns a little darker and the wind picks up, you fidget and get anxious. He wonders if it’s a fear you have taken with you from the upside down or if it is something that accompanied you before, he never dared to ask before. 

Every time he showed up during a storm, your eyes were filled with fear and your hands were shaking. You would relax and calm down a few minutes after his arrival, his presence seems comforting to you and it’s why he rushes to get to you every time he sees the dark clouds and hears the thunder. 

“Hey Blondie?” 

You look up at him through your lashes and raise your eyebrows, “yes?” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

You put down your burger and reach for your drink, nodding at him. 

“Have you always been afraid of storms?” 

You seem to be taken aback as you stare at him and blink, not moving or saying anything just yet and he fears that he crossed a line. 

“I just, I noticed that you flinch at every crash.”

You always tried to hide your reactions, not wanting to seem scared or weak, and usually no one ever noticed things about you that you didn’t want them to see but Steve seems to see right through you. 

His hazel eyes aren’t filled with judgment or amusement, just with curiosity and… a hint of concern? 

You take a sip of your drink and sit back, relaxing your shoulders as you look into his eyes. 

“Yeah, I just, I guess it got stuck with me from when I was a kid,” you chuckle and roll your eyes, “I know, embarrassing right?” 

He shakes his head and frowns, “no, not at all.” 

“Honestly, it wasn’t even that bad when I was a kid, it got worse when I was a teen. My parents would go on these business trips sometimes and trusted my sister to look after me but she used those opportunities to go hang out with friends or go to parties or whatever else she was doing,” you explain, not looking away from him, “and I hated being alone, it probably didn’t help that I watched horror movies every time I was alone.” 

Steve chuckles at that, though he can’t help but feel sad for you. 

His parents left too, hell, they still do. To know that you were in a similar situation as him when you were younger fills him with regret, knowing that he could have been there for you and you for him, if he just wasn’t such a dick to you. 

“I just always got so anxious whenever I heard the howling wind and the loud thunder, it felt like the fear paralyzed me in a way… I don’t know, does that even make sense?” 

Steve nods, “yeah, yeah it makes sense.” 

But now he wonders how the hell you jumped into the water to save him, after everything that you had been told about the upside down, about the storms, about the monsters, you still jumped into the water when he was pulled under. You knew what was waiting for you on the other side and you still did it. 

“B-But how… I… the upside down was filled with storms?”

You would’ve jumped into a hurricane if it meant saving his life. 

“I wasn’t going to prioritize my fears over your life, Steve.”

Steve feels a little stunned, he knows how paralyzing fears can get, how they can hold you back from everything, but you, you didn’t care about your fears, about yourself, knowing that it could’ve ended badly for you down there, you cared more for him than you did for yourself, even when he was nothing but an asshole to you who treated you like shit. 

If he knew you, the real you, he wouldn’t have been so harsh to you, he wouldn’t have been so… cold. He would have never said a single bad word to you but he thought you were cruel and he thought you hated him so he gave you a side of him that didn’t even exist, it was an act, nothing more, nothing less and he regrets it more than anything. 

He regrets every word he said to you before this. And he feels as though he doesn’t deserve this, you, not even in this way, not after everything he said to you and about you. 

He wants nothing more than to take it all back, to make it up to you. 

And as you sit there in front of him, with red rimmed eyes that prove that you have cried before he came here, he wants nothing more than to pull you into his arms and apologize, over and over again.

But instead of doing that and risking making you uncomfortable, he slides his plate closer to you and changes seats so he is right next to you, he ignores the confused look you give him and the question you were gonna ask before he grabs your face and kisses you, making you gasp in surprise. 

You melt into the kiss quickly, despite the confusion that lingers in you. You place your palm on the side of his neck and kiss him back softly. 

And just like that, your worries and your anxious thoughts fade away into nothing, his touch, his kisses, he makes you forget about all the sadness that gnawed at you before, for a moment, they don’t matter and they won’t be back till later. 

For a moment, you’re allowed to feel hopeful and confident again. 

When his hand finds your waist and his lips move slowly and softly with yours, when he hums into the kiss and pulls you closer, when he makes you feel special. 

Steve’s eyelashes flutter when he pulls away and opens his eyes again, smiling softly as he pecks your lips once more before he moves back, like he didn’t just steal your breath and made your heart pound wildly. 

“What was that for?” You breathe. 

“To calm you down from the storm,” he shrugs, chuckling at his own words. 

“Why do you think a kiss would calm me down?” 

“I don’t know, I read it in a magazine,” he lies and looks down at his food with rosy cheeks and a sheepish smile. 

A giggle falls from your lips.

“Right,” he nods and points a finger at you, still smiling, “it’s scientifically proven that kisses help with the distraction.” 

“Mhmm,” you hum and nod, “right, totally yeah.” 

Instead of tears, you’re biting back a smile now, falling right back into the state you are always in when you’re around him – into bliss. 

You continue eating and you ask him about his day, you push your plate towards him, sharing your fries with him once he practically inhales the ones on his plate. He keeps on talking, the whole time you sit at the kitchen table you ate your meals alone at, he tells you all the gossip he’s heard from Robin, keeping you entertained and making you giggle, making you forget about the raging storm behind you or the pain you felt before, he makes you forget about everything. 

And you thought this would be like any other night you spent with him.

But it wasn’t.

Steve didn’t sleep with you that night, and you didn’t initiate it either. The storm was at full blast over your house, and Steve made sure to have the TV at full volume when watching the movies he stole. He mentioned Keith was busy trying to talk to a female customer and he didn’t even look at Steve when he shoved them down his shirt.

You laughed with him, giggled, and – are you the replacement? Are you really? Or are you actually in his heart?

The past tells you that you are the filler for the holes in his heart, but the present– the present tells you otherwise. It tells you that there might be a chance. His smile tells you that he likes spending time with you. The frown over his eyes when something happens to you tells you he is worried for you. The way he is possessive over you tells you that he considers you his. 

Is it foolish to believe in the present? Is it foolish to simply forget about the past? Is it foolish you cannot and won’t let go of him? Is it foolish to simply love him, with no reason at all? 

And you just know… that Billy never once said it was. 

Billy who wouldn’t want you to give up. Billy who wouldn’t want you to go back into the past. Billy who would want you to keep living in the present. Billy who would still encourage you if he were here. Billy who helped you pick that dress at the GAP to shoot your shot that day at Scoops.

Billy never gave up on your love for Steve. 

You shouldn’t either.

And you won’t.

♡

tagging friends and mutuals

@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars @moon-flowerrs