Hello Absolutely CURSED Mismag Thought...evan Trying To Get Caught Up On Likeinternet Lingo And Accidentally

hello absolutely CURSED mismag thought...evan trying to get caught up on like “internet lingo” and accidentally calling dream his “discord kitten” at the breakfast table

While the hearts of the public are becoming increasingly vocally open to the prospect of boy maids, I still long await the day when society is ready to finally broach the subject of girl butlers–not merely as an occasional curio to be brought out from some dusty cabinet once in a blue moon, but an established and significant presence in the imagination and imagery of idealized service professionals.

brennan: “shit has gone sideways” brennan. brennan when hasn’t it gone sideways this fucking season. when. please, please tell me.

okay am i just?? loosing it? or did we get any art of the princeps in this episode/the previous one? i cannot remember and it’s blowing my mind. i wanna draw them i think and i just. can’t remember if we’ve seen art.

anyways shut up, take this quiz and i’ll tell you if your taste in men is lesbian or not, like do you like men in a lesbian way

in conjunction with my childhood friends adaine and fabian i also want to propose childhood besties kristen and riz. sklonda is panicking, looking for somewhere to keep riz for the day because she works and penny can’t watch him and so she stumbles upon a summer camp. and she’s exhausted and doesn’t read it twice and sends riz to a helioic summer camp. and then this small 10-and-change goblin shows up, backpack and button up and khaki shorts. and he has dozens of eyes on him and there are men in masks and he’s very, very scared.

and then recently chosen kristen applebees walks up and extends a hand. because yeah, he might look scary, but helio loves everyone and this is a person! and his eyes are large and gold like the sun or big ears of corn and so he obviously has to be blessed by helio. and suddenly riz and kristen are best friends. inseparable. riz eats her brussel sprouts and keeps her from tripping over her feet and kristen is his second best friend. riz shows her the world and helps her realize that her religion isn’t what she thought it was. riz who holds her hands when she starts to have sinful thoughts. riz, who kristen kissed at 11, just to see what it was like. riz, who kristen kissed at 18, because she needed to see if there was something wrong with her (and there wasn’t--kristen was just very much a lesbian in denial). 

kristen, who would sit up on the phone to talk riz out of his spirals. who drove him around because the gukgaks could’t afford another car and her mini van was way too big for one. riz, who fit into bricker and cork’s old t-ball shirts. riz, who bandages kristen’s fingers when she bites her nails too close to the quick. riz, who lets kristen tie his ties even though he knows she’s going to do it poorly because kristen looks like she was offered the sun when he lets her do it. riz helping kristen with the children at sunday school and guiding a new generation of helioic followers who have had at least one positive interaction with a goblin. coffee ice cream and milkshakes and evening drives. riz getting breakfast at church after not sleeping for days and barely eating. kristen conning the sweet old ladies into giving her extras so riz can take some home to his mom. 

riz holding her hand in the pew, sitting next to the applebees family and squeezing her hand whenever the pastor says something that makes him flinch. kristen aruging that if ragh was allowed to come, to be around dayne and coach daybreak, then riz was allowed to be her friend. kristen fighting and arguing until she’s hoarse. drying tears and messy braids and pinkie promises.

 riz and kristen who were the only couple of different races at their prom. kristen and riz who are fiercely protective over one another because they are the only two who love each other unconditionally. kristen, who is running and running and running; riz, who is digging deeper and deeper and deeper until his hands are bleeding because he will put in the work to make sure that kristen is safe. kristen is happy. because she saved his life at 10 years old and he will make sure that returns the favor.