Guys If You Liked That Fic, Make Sure To Follow Me As Well. I Will Be Posting More Fics Soon. It Would

Guys if you liked that fic, make sure to follow me as well. I will be posting more fics soon. It would also be great if you could send me prompts or requests…

If you have any requests or a particular member in mind, let me know. I am on vacation actually so it would be really fun to write…

Adore you

Vernon x Reader

This was requested by @mintchocosan, which also happens to be my first request ever. I hope I did justice to your wonderful prompt. Hope you like it 🫶

Summary: You were recently having a terrible time. When things got too much for you and you went radio- silent, your longtime best friend, Vernon took it upon himself to become your knight in shining armour and to comfort you.

Word Count: 1755 words

Tags: best friend Vernon who has a secret crush on reader, reader having a difficult time, Vernon comforts reader, crying, slight angst and fluff

Vernon was currently lying on his bed staring right at the ceiling as if he wished to burn holes into it. If anyone saw him right now, they would probably think as if he was pondering upon a life-changing decision. Well it wasn't that serious, but he found it strange that it had already been two hours since you got off from work, but he did not hear anything from your side. No messages. No calls.

Vernon was trying to ignore that bitter feeling in his chest and the prospect of you ignoring him. Even the thought of that is enough to drive him crazy. Sure when two people have been best friends as long as they could remember, the 'ignoring thing' definitely hurts but it was even worse for Vernon since he had a crush on you. It was a secret which he was willing to take to the grave.

Realising that he was again getting lost in his memories with you, he focused back on the problem at hand. You would always call him as soon as work ended, talking about your day or about some gossip you had heard at work. You would at least text him, even if you were busy.

Vernon was getting more and more suspicious of the situation, as the clock ticked. He let out a sigh and finally called you up. He could hear the call go through but you did not pick it up. He called once more but he had no luck.

By this time, Vernon was grabbing his jacket and leaving for your house, as he texted you, "Y/n everything good? Is there something wrong?"

Fortunately Vernon had the number of the lady who lived next to you, which he got when he had ordered some books at your address but since you were running late at work and he was stuck in traffic, you sent him your neighbors' number so that she could keep the parcel.

Vernon found out that your neighbor had indeed seen you returning from work and you two greeted each other but she had noticed you looked exhausted. At this, Vernon let out a sigh of relief that you weren't in some super serious situation. Having known you for so long as well as being an innate observer, Vernon also had a bit of an idea as to why you weren't responding to his calls or texts. But he had yet to see whether he was right.

Vernon arrived at your house and looked through the windows. The lights were on! This meant that you were definitely inside. Or maybe it was a burglar who was inside. But the chances of that happening were very low, because Vernon was well aware that you were super broke. Not because you earned less, but because you had zero control over your spending habits.

Vernon immediately retrieved the spare key that he knew was lying in one of your pots of White Roses, in the garden. He unlocked the door and could hear the faint sound of the TV. The sound increased with every step he took towards your living room. When he entered, Vernon could see your comfort show still playing on the TV. Vernon could already sense that something was wrong with you.

When he slightly turned his neck, he could see you sleeping on the couch. You weren't in a comfortable position and Vernon knew you would wake up with a pain in your neck. You weren't sleeping peacefully which Vernon realised from the way your forehead was scrunched. He also saw that you were still in your work clothes. As if to confirm his suspicion, Vernon could also see a half eaten tub of almost melted, ice-cream still lying on the table in front of your sleeping figure.

It was as clear as day to Vernon, you had a terrible day. Vernon walked over to you and gazed lovingly at you. An expression he always made sure no one else could see. Before waking you up, he lightly pressed his thumbs to your forehead in an attempt to relax it.

Vernon then lightly shook your shoulders and spoke in almost a whisper, as he knew you would get startled if he spoke any louder, "y/n wake up now. We need to talk." He said with a smile which did not reach his eyes. He was upset at the thought of you being upset.

When you woke up, you were in utter shock at the person sitting beside you at the couch, "Vernon? How did you get here? Wait, why are you here? Is everything alright? Are you okay?"

Vernon could feel his heart flutter at how it was you who had a terrible day but you were still concerned about him.

"Me? Oh I'm fine. But don't you think it should be me asking that question? Your comfort show, comfort ice-cream, sleeping on the couch still in work clothes... now tell me what's wrong."

You were slightly flustered at the way Vernon was gazing so intensely in your eyes, just waiting to hear what made his best friend so sad. Vernon had mostly known you to be really strong. Even in the worst of times, you would keep a smile on your face. You would never shut yourself out, at least not to your best friend, who was there through it all. Normally you would first try to deny it but the fiery look in his eyes already told you that he wouldn't let it go.

"Well in short, my boss yelled at me because I made some mistakes in the report which I worked on till like 3 in the morning.”

“Don’t try to get clever with me, I know there’s more to it.” Vernon replied in a threatening voice as if to scare you into spilling your guts to him.

“Ugh fine. You know, sometimes I really regret being best friends with you.” , you spoke in a sarcastic tone.

You continued, “Well honestly, there’s not a single reason for this. It was a mixture of everything. Things got so hectic at work, i felt like I couldn’t breathe. I would stay up late working, and even when I would go to bed, I could barely sleep. On top of all this, every time either of my parents call me, they are always complaining about each other. I mean, I grew up in this environment so I am used to this but nowadays, it also makes me question whether love is real at all .”

From the look in your eyes, Vernon knew you were telling the truth. He thought carefully for a second and then he took your hand in his lap and said, “Okay first off, Y/n you are the strongest person I’ve seen in my entire life and the most hard working too. I’m sure your boss yelled at you in the heat of the moment. And I’m sure he appreciates you. Well it’s fine even if he doesn’t because not every person will like you. There’s nothing either I or you can do about this. But I can promise you that I will always be by your side, through all the storms and the earthquakes.” He spoke the last sentence while tightly squeezing your hand as if to emphasise it. It was safe to say that you were starting to get emotional.

Vernon then continued, “As for the second thing, you can always take a day off from work when things get too hectic. I mean you rarely ever do that. Instead you can hang out with me. Just so you know, I have a complete list of movies I need to watch with you. So just say the word, and I’ll be right there.” At the last word, Vernon softly caressed your hair. By this point, tears had started to well up in your eyes.

Vernon continued, “Now as for the third thing, we can always check out a doctor for your insomnia. I don’t think it’s something to worry about since you’ve been like this since college but we’ll do what we can right?” You nodded your head in response. Vernon also made a mental note, to go with you to a doctor on Friday.

“And finally, I have no right to say anything about your parents’ situation but I know one thing for certain. You will definitely find love in your life. I have no idea with whom or when. But I know you will. Also let me just say, the man who gets to have you would be the luckiest man on this planet.” Vernon knew he was playing around a dangerous topic which could end up revealing his ‘secret’ crush so he cleared his throat and brushed a loose stand of your hair behind your ear.

You felt beyond grateful to have someone like Vernon in your life. In a world full of boys, he was a gentleman. But above all, Vernon was both your strength and weakness.

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, you didn’t even realise you were crying until you felt warm tears falling down your cheeks. Vernon widened his eyes in shock, “Shit, are you crying? Oh god, I swear I didn’t wanna make you cry.”

Before Vernon could panic any further, you threw your arms around his neck and buried your head in his shoulder. However, the next words that left your mouth almost made Vernon choke on his spit.

“I love you so much Vernon.”

You would have never said this so casually in a conversation but you felt like you needed to remind him just how much you cared for him. Honestly you were a bit scared at how those words sounded so right, and you made a mental note to think about this particular moment later.

Though Vernon could feel butterflies explode in his stomach, he assumed, for his own sanity, that you meant it in a platonic sense.

Vernon hugged you back and whispered softly, “Don’t you dare do something like this again. I could barely breathe when you did not respond to my calls.”

Vernon convinced you to take a day off the next day and you two binge-watched movies till midnight, all wrapped up in each other’s warm embrace. You two actually ended up falling asleep in that position and unbeknownst to Vernon, it was the most peaceful sleep you had gotten in the last 4 months.

Hmm looks like you adored Vernon much more than you actually realised…

ROCKLAND — P.SH

synopsis: almost like a nightmare, park sunghoon plagues your present just as much as your past regrets had done. however, this time around, you and him decided to right your wrongs one last time.

pairings: non-idol!sunghoon x afab!reader

genre: exes to lovers, miscommunications, angst, second chance romance

warning(s): profanities, brief mentions of smoking, drinking, partying and alcohol

wc: 8k

a/n: i'm BACK. this has been in the works for far too long because of the constant writer's block so i'm not sure if it's good or not, plus it's my first exes to lovers so please be nice <3 greatly inspired by gracie abram's "rockland", so do give it a listen too! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

If there was one thing you’d regret forever in this lifetime, it would be ending things with the love of your life.

You admit it, you’re selfish. Selfish for wanting to leave the town you grew to hate, selfish for prioritising yourself and chasing your dreams, choosing to leave the people you loved instead. Painted a villain in the eyes of many close to the person you once went home to and even the man himself. But, how could he fully blame you when he was equally selfish too?

Park Sunghoon thought keeping you in the cage of this small town was going to make him a happy man. He often fantasised about the possibility of you and his future together, completely pushing aside the thought of you leaving, until it actually happened.

He was angry. He let himself be consumed by his own feelings and mindlessly projecting his anger and blame on you, while you regretfully did the same.

Pools of tears and venomous words spewed out of impulse left you scarred and broken down. It was a bad ending that you’d see in movies coming to life. The moment you had everything packed and goodbyes said, you figured leaving was for the best, now that your ex hates you and his friends who probably felt the same. 

It was a shame, though. Heading to somewhere far from home with a heavy heart knowing you didn’t have the chance to see him once more. Frankly, you were a coward, and so was he.

That explained why returning back home was the scariest thing you had to face in a while. 

It was ironic, wasn't it? Coming back to the place you wished for years to escape and actually doing so, but eventually having to return after you dropped out of the college that you've been praying and praying to get into, only for it to be overwhelming and the city lights couldn't compare to the starry night of your hometown.

You suppose you got the thing you wanted, but it just wasn't what you imagined.

Freshly twenty-two and out of school, you figured home was what you needed in your next step before deciding if you should re enrol. However, you find yourself not having the guts to face your family and friends, not after the promises turned out to be empty. 

"You should quit smoking," 

Yunjin, your cousin and practically your closest friend growing up, was just a distance away when you spotted her, leaning against her car with a cigarette in hand. You found it amusing how she didn't cave into vapes instead in this day and age. 

"Y/N!" She pushed the bud of her half smoked cigarette into the wall, then started jogging towards you, her dress flowing in the wind and boots making obnoxious clicks against the ground. There was a sense of relief in her eyes, her usual smile that you missed graced your presence. "God, I missed you, things aren't the same without you here,"

In the span of a few seconds of her hug, you took the chance to digest her words. Did that mean the traditions you've upheld are now gone? Parties, trips to the beach, all those? 

"What?"

Yunjin pulled away, still managing a small smile. "I don't think things were ever the same since you left … and after you broke up with Sunghoon,"

You blinked, looking away into the distance. "I don't think I'll be welcomed,"

Yunjin scoffed, slapping your arm and scurrying to get your bags. "Don't say that! So not true. Everyone in the family is waiting for you to be back—"

"And talk behind my back about my failure in graduating? Yeah, no,"

‘‘That’s not going to happen,” Yunjin sighed, struggling with your bags and declining your help, but you still forcefully grabbed some knowing she’d eventually crumble. “I think they’ll get it,”

Would they?

Once you are settled into the car, bags successfully loaded into the trunk, you let yourself melt into the comforts of Yunjin’s passenger seat, finally getting to close your eyes and drift away. You thought it was best before having to face everything and everyone once again.

“What’s your plan now, anyway?”

Without opening your eyes, you envisioned a distant image in your head. “Take my time off and see if I’d like to re enrol or not. If I don’t, I’ll just go plan B,”

“Which is?”

“Accept the job offer in London,”

Yunjin almost hit the brakes out of shock, the news that came from you felt like it had hit her in the face, but somehow, she managed to keep her cool and not get you both killed. “What?” she shrieked.

“What?” you questioned back, sounding nonchalant as if this was just another normal offer that didn’t seem particularly significant. But it was.

“You have a job offer in London and you’re coming back here,”

“I left the city for a reason, it’d be stupid to go to another one right after,”

Yunjin exhaled, blinking in stupor. “Right,”

“How’s … everyone?”

Yunjin knew you weren’t referring to your family. Of course you’d know how your own family was doing, that’s a no brainer. What you were trying to mean was your old friend group. You couldn’t blame them for being mad at you, after all you were only a part of it because of Sunghoon.

“Heeseung’s graduating soon,” this was the first update you’ve gotten from Yunjin after those years away. It took you every will not to ask her about them, but here you were now, finally giving in. “They’re still the same, nothing’s changed,”

“What about him?”

Yunjin seemed hesitant, obviously holding back something that she didn’t want you to know. “I’m not going to explode upon hearing, you know that, right?” you joked lightheartedly, but secretly dreading hearing about him.

“I think he’s seeing someone,”

“Good for him,” 

Would it be a crime to admit that you still missed your ex? Something in you was wishing you could rekindle a connection again now that you’re back, but all that hope shattered. If he had already moved on, why couldn’t you? Even after knowing how he probably hated and resented you for doing what you did, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate him back. 

“That’s all?”

“You want me to go full crazy ex mode? You’re insane,” you shook your head, smiling a little, hoping Yunjin didn’t notice the speck of sadness swimming in your irises. “Whoever she is, I’m sure that I would like her … if I were slightly nicer,”

She let out a ‘tch’ in response, though grinning. “What are you going to do with them around? There’s no way you’d be able to fully avoid them,”

“What can I do? I’ll just have to coexist.”

Coexist was a funny word. How were you able to do that when you couldn’t even fully get over Sunghoon in the first place? Thinking about meeting him in flesh already made you feel like doubling over and projectile vomit. That was how pathetic you were, what a shame. 

Settling in was easy. It was natural to be back home, way better than being in the noisy city and constantly surrounded by a bunch of fake friends. The question of why you left in the first place started burning your mind as you tossed around trying to sleep, but it only persisted to bug you. Then came the thoughts of Sunghoon and the friends you left behind, which prompted you to be fully awake, sitting up in bed.

It wasn't the greatest idea to reach for your phone and search for his contact name, just to recall the day you deleted his number. Yet, your memory never failed you, remembering the digits like it was first instinct, fingers already typing his number. Your thumb hovered over the green call button, a haze in your mind.

Inevitably, you shut your phone and dug your head into your pillow. He would've laughed then, if he had seen this happen, the exact moment of you almost caving in and finally saying the sorry you never gave him.

The pictures you saw of him on social media here and there made you wonder how he was and if he had already forgotten about you. There were a few recurring appearances of a girl that seemed to linger by his side in group pictures that caught your eyes. Who took your bed when you left? Who laughed at everything that he said? Was it that girl?

Just like the time you first had a crush on Sunghoon, you stayed awake thinking about him, except this time around, you were filled with regret instead of hope. 

"Heeseung asked me about you,"

Yunjin's random confession in the middle of the day had surprised you. Lee Heeseung, the best friend of your ex who you swore hated your guts, asked about you? Shocker.

"What did you say?"

"I said something along the lines of you figuring out life and just chilling here until the time comes," Yunjin shrugged, and you nodded slowly. "But there's something he said that made me a bit … confused?"

"What?"

"He said they wanted to see you again," 

You raised your eyebrows, a hint of scepticism flashed over your eyes. "They want to see me? Tell me a better joke next time, thanks,"

"I'm not joking! I mean, he did say excluding Sunghoon, but the other guys wanted to know how you were now that you're back," Yunjin winced a little at the mention of your ex, but you waved it off.

"Are they treating me to dinner or something?"

"Well … no. But Heeseung asked me to bring you to their next party, which is in a few days," Yunjin's gaze softened, hand patting your back. "You know you don't have to come if you don't want to. I mean, after all that happened with you and them and Sunghoon,"

You let out a small sigh, absentmindedly fidgeting your fingers. "It's all in the past now. I'm sure Sunghoon has moved on with another girl, and maybe—just maybe—the guys do hate me less."

You never went to that party Yunjin mentioned.

It was hard to admit but you knew, deep inside you, you were afraid, too cowardly to face the people you once knew. Instead, you chose to linger around like a lost soul in a town full of the ghosts of your past. 

It didn't help that the party was also in Sunghoon's house. How did they expect you to go in the first place? You thought you'd never step foot in there after you broke it off with him, and you were adamant on keeping it that way, but your heart got the worst of you.

On the night of the party, you drove around the neighbourhood, eventually stopping across the street of his house. You didn't know what got to you to do so, but you guessed reminiscence and bright lights coming from the house were the reason. The music was loud, people were coming in and out of the house, and the only thing you could think of was him.

That thought alone was enough to have you drive away, leaving the house further and further away into the background just as the memories of him being pushed into the back of your mind.

Rotting in your bed wasn't how your early 20s were meant to be spent, and avoiding almost everyone most definitely wasn't the case either.

Your family and Yunjin were the only people you saw daily, as for the friends you once had, they were long forgotten or didn't even bother to reach out. Except for Heeseung and the others.

That, to you, was a really funny thing to think about. People who stuck by you after the break up and swore to be your closest friends didn't try contacting you once you moved back, knowing damn well word traveled fast in the town; whereas the friends you thought hated you were the first to reach out.

"I'll go to that party," you said to Yunjin on a sunny afternoon tanning session by the pool, sunglasses sitting on the bridge of your nose, hiding the apprehension in your eyes.

"Really?" Yunjin almost jumped out of her seat. It was a party she had brought up days ago, still persistent on taking you out. At least this time around, it wasn't in Sunghoon's house, but her friend Chaewon's. "That's great! Chaewon and the girls are super nice, you'll love them. Let's pick a nice outfit for you, okay?"

Yunjin was by far the most enthusiastic one between you and her. She was picking out dresses and tops, literally rummaging through your closet for anything, and you had to remind her it was just a college party. So, you settled for a skirt and a plain top. 

"Will you be okay? I'll stick by you," Yunjin had her arms around you, standing by the front door of Chaewon's house, hearing the music blaring from the inside.

"I'm fine—I think I'll be fine—I just don't want to run away from everyone anymore," it was mostly true, you thought it was inevitable to hide all the time, that wasn't how you're going to spend your life living.

"If there's anything, tell me, okay? We'll leave if you're getting sick," Yunjin gave your arm a final squeeze of assurance before crossing the threshold. 

It was the same as every party you've gone to. Loud music, drunk college kids, liquor and beers strayed around, it reeked of your nightmare in a nutshell there. 

Yunjin's friends were all as lovely as she had promised. The host herself was wobbling on her feet but managed to grace you with her humour. There was Sakura and Kazuha that you learned were foreign students. 

Throughout the night, you were stuck by Yunjin, going from circle to circle and introducing yourself or recognising some of your past school mates. But, almost inevitably so, Heeseung, Jay and Jake had made an appearance too.

"Y/N," Jay was the first to call your name, causing you to turn your head at the familiar voice. 

Your thoughts during then were jumbled into a mess. The people you were fighting to avoid were standing in front of you, all of which were much different than the memories you had of them in mind. 

Three of them had grown taller, gained some muscles and matured in many ways. Jay's hair was dyed pink, Heeseung got new piercings and Jake had a tattoo on his finger. It was strange to admit they're the same people you knew despite feeling the complete opposite of familiarity.

"Hey—" you were cut off by Jay closing in and pulling you into a hug, this for once was something you remembered about him.

"We're so glad you're back," he whispered into your hair, squeezing you tight. It reminded you then that you were friends with him and the guys before you even dated Sunghoon, that connection was deeper than it seemed, and for it to be severed just because of a breakup was gut wrenching to realise. "We're sorry, Y/N, we're so sorry,"

His apology was genuine, that's for sure. Once you pull away, you let both Heeseung and Jake take turns to hug you, whispering apologies into your ear. It was odd, to accept their apologies and having to start afresh. You held onto them, just taking it in. To forgive was a big step, but maybe it was your first step.

You sat there, catching up with them and slowly getting comfortable just like the old days. Heeseung graduated and got a good job offer, Jay and Jake were still studying, both of which were in the same university. You were relieved there was nothing too awkward between you and them, or else you would have regretted your choices.

The night continued on with a few small talks and eventually you had to excuse yourself to the toilet. You wondered how Chaewon's house was so big, with halls that seemed to never end, or it could just be the effects of alcohol.

Stumbling around, you held onto the walls, passing by rooms occupied by people probably doing something unspeakable. You thought your peace of mind would be intact until the end of the night, but you were wrong. Upon turning a corner, you froze.

It was Sunghoon. It was him.

Grief was a funny feeling, especially when it comes to someone you once knew. You stared at him and there he was, like a ghost from your past coming back to haunt you. He was the shell of the person you loved, and you couldn't help but grieve the person he once was. What was he like now? 

Before you could even turn around and make a run for it, his wandering eyes landed on you. He had the same thought process as you. Realisation, panic, sadness, confusion all mixed into a heap of feelings. 

Your feet started moving on its own, as you stepped back, he took a step forward. Your breath became ragged, heart thumping hard and blood pumping in your ears. He was nearing, and you were running away, it was the same as before.

"Y/N!" He called out, and all it took was him to say your name again to have you stop in your tracks. Gosh, you were pathetic.

He was standing before you now, closer than he was a moment ago. It was then you realised how much he had changed too. 

He was taller, smile lines etched much deeper into his face, almost changing along the same wavelengths with the others. There was something different about the way he looked at you, however. From love in his eyes that eventually changed into hatred was now filled with longing and confusion.

"Y/N," he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice, as if he couldn't believe you were there. 

"Sunghoon," you blinked, a frown unknowingly making its way to your face. You let a few beats of silence pass, conflicted and nervous. "I—I should leave,"

"No—!" his hand reached out for you, but you didn't feel his touch. He didn't dare to touch you, letting his hand linger before pulling it back to his side. "I mean, you don't have to leave,"

"I thought you hate me,"

Sunghoon's gaze fell to the floor, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. He met your eyes once more. "I should hate you, shouldn't I? But I don't think I do, I never did,"

You blinked, a little surprised, a little hurt. All along he had made you think he hated your guts but he actually didn't? "Oh," you seemed to have lost the ability to talk or to compute a proper sentence.

You thought of the things you wanted to ask him. If he was still angry at you or if things were working for him. But, what came out was the question you've stored in the back of your mind instead.

"Are you with someone new?"

You figured he didn't expect such a question from you, much as you didn't expect yourself saying it. It was an itching thought, one that made you look like a typical ex, but you couldn't help it.

"I'm not," he sounded almost exasperated, as if having to squash down this rumour for the thousandth time.

"Oh … oh," you didn't know what to say, averting your gaze away from him and finding comfort in the wall behind him. 

Sunghoon paused, gaze following yours, looking reluctant whether or not to continue the conversation, but alas, he did. "How have you been?"

"Bad," you laughed a little, and Sunghoon's ears perked at the sound of it that he hasn't heard for ages. "You?"

"I quit skating,"

That was surprising. How could he have? Skating was his dream, his past, present and supposed future, but now, it came crashing down. You didn't know if you should feel sorry for him, as you have been a part of his journey, but one bit of you also seemed to have started mourning the changed Sunghoon that stood before you.

"Why?"

He shrugged, hands slipping into his pocket with a solemn look. "I lost interest. I'm into music now, I'm in a band with the guys,"

You heaved a breath, a deep one. Ironic it was that he was doing music now when he was the one criticising you in the past for wanting to pursue it. Who even was this person? With a new appearance came a new personality, he was much further away than you thought despite the physical distance.

"You've changed," you didn't know what prompted you to say that, maybe it was the disbelief or the denial that he was someone new, but whatever it was, neither of you could deny the fact that he did change. "I'm scared of the person you've become,"

A beat passed, an unreadable expression on Sunghoon's face that you couldn't distinguish even though by now you thought you'd know every one of them. 

"And I'm scared you're still the same."

Seeing Sunghoon that night seemed to have altered something in your life. Somehow, he was everywhere you went. 

Who was working at the register? Sunghoon. Who was at the park? Sunghoon. Who was at the party Yunjin managed to drag you to? Sunghoon.

It was haunting.

All those little encounters didn't mean you talked to him like normal, though. The awkward tension in the air still remained, seeing each other only reminded you and him both of your pasts, and you hated it. That explained why you were having a hard time seeing him at another party you were at.

Yunjin was much more of a party goer than you expected, and she successfully convinced you to go to all of them. It was fun until you got drunk and started being emotional. Your efforts of hiding from Sunghoon that night failed when he barged into the empty room you were sobbing in, whether it was accidental or not, you didn't know, you wished to not know.

"Y/N?"

His voice brought back the times he called your name. Both the good and bad ones. You stared up at him from the ground, tears welling your eyes. The person you were looking at was someone you thought was a soulmate, but now stood as someone closer to a stranger than a friend.

"W–what are you doing here? Why are you crying?"

The alcohol messing with your brain was processing his words, but what came out from your lips was the total opposite of an answer. "I'm sorry, Hoonie," 

Sunghoon's eyes widened at the nickname, the privilege that only you had. He kneeled down, taking a seat on the ground opposite you, a visible distance in between.

"I hate this—us—I feel like if we gave it one night, to talk, to just feel—you'd hate me less and make it alright," you choked back the sobs building up in your throat, the dizziness making you unaware of how Sunghoon reached out only to hesitate and pressed his hand back to his side. "Just wish that we could fight now, I'd hold you on the comedown …" your voice faltered, head leaning onto the wall.

"Y/N, you're drunk, we can talk this out another day," Sunghoon striped off his jacket and covered your exposed thighs with it. "Just … don't avoid me. I–I don't hate you, I just hope we can have a decent conversation without thinking about the past,"

He admitted it, how the two of you had secretly been thinking about the past, letting it be a big wall in between instead of growing from it. Yet, you could tell the unspoken anger and sadness still lingered, choosing to pour out gradually and unknowingly.

"Bet you wish you never even met me," you started slurring, hand gripping onto his jacket tightly. "I can't blame you, I broke your every heartbeat," your eyes were shut, images playing in your mind, not knowing the saddened look dawning on Sunghoon's face.

"Let's get you back."

In your sleep that night, you saw him. He was there, so far yet so close, and just like reality, he was hard to reach, harder to understand compared to before. He was a knife cutting deep, leaving a mark that constantly reminded you of the past. 

How could you even make everything go back to the way it was?

Sunghoon was on your front door step the night everyone was out for dinner except you. 

You hadn't expected him to turn up, thinking it'd be you that stood at his doorstep instead as you still had his jacket from that party (which you do not want to think about again).

"Sunghoon. Hey," the door was opened and you leaned against it, trying your best at hiding the hint of pining in your gaze. 

"Oh, hey," he greeted back rather stiffly, dressed in a simple attire with the classic white Lacoste sneakers that he always wore. "I–I wanted to—"

"Take your … jacket?" You cut him off half way, nerves wrecking your brain.

A beat passed, Sunghoom visibly gulped. "Y–Yeah, my jacket,"

"I'll go grab it for you," you jerked your thumb over your shoulder, awkwardly scurrying back in to retrieve his jacket and coming back to see him chewing on his bottom lip, seemingly nervous. "Here. Thanks for it,"

"No problem," Sunghoon coughed, grabbing the jacket but absolutely paying no mind to it. His stare was straight at you.

"That's all, right?"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah," you echoed, hating the sudden rigidness between the two of you. "Bye then, Sunghoon,"

"Bye," Sunghoon said, looking dazed. Weird.

You saw him backing away and decided to close the door, but before you could even do so, a force had stopped you from closing it. Not a force, much rather a hand, his hand. The door was pushed open, and you physically jumped at the suddenness of it. Your eyes met Sunghoon's sorrowful ones.

"Don't push me away, Y/N, not again,"

"Sunghoon," 

He made his way in, closing the door behind him and you let him. Was this seriously happening?

"You said you wanted to give us one night to talk, so I'm here now. I didn't care about the jacket, I cared about you. I hate seeing us like this, it's like we're strangers," Sunghoon let out a frustrated huff, eyebrows furrowed.

"We can't just pretend nothing has happened between us,"

"So you want me to hate you instead? You're saying as if it's easy, Y/N, feelings don't work that way!"

"Then how do we go back to how it was? We can't, that's the truth. You're not the same person I used to know,"

"Cut the bullshit. I'm the same as I was, maybe just a little different than I was years ago, but that doesn't change anything. When does that ever stop you from loving?"

Were you too scared to love?

Sunghoon ran his hand across his face, wetting his lips. "You’re scared of change, and I don’t think that’s something new about you,” 

Ouch.

“But I really wish you could let it all go. I don’t hate you, nor do I harbour any anger regarding the things that happened years ago. It hurts, it did, but seeing you now made me feel the opposite of all those emotions,” Sunghoon took a deep breath in, and you were holding yours. “I think about you a lot, actually. I regretted a lot of the things I said and done, and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there for you and giving you the support you needed. I should've fought for us and not leave, I–I—" Sunghoon choked, unable to hold in his overpowering emotions anymore.

You didn’t say anything, instinctively closing in and pulling him into your arms, letting his head lie on your shoulder, ignoring the feeling of his warm tears soaking the fabric of your shirt. "I'm sorry too, for leaving you so easily,"

You stood there with Sunghoon in your arms, inevitably crying along and sobbing out your own apologies, the ones you had owed him and hidden all these years. He held you tight just as you did, and it felt like the nights he had you in his arms whenever you cried. You eventually calmed down whereas Sunghoon was still composing himself, avoiding your gaze.

You took the opportunity to hug him again, tighter and firmer this time, as if trying to stop him from running away. 

"Can we start over? I don't want us to be strangers," 

You heard a sniffle, then a shaky breath of relief. "I'd love to,"

Pulling away, you locked eyes with him. They were twinkling brighter than the stars in the skies outside, filled with a spark of hope. "I'll make us some hot tea. Do you want to … stay over?"

"Can I?"

"I really want you to."

It didn't take more to convince Sunghoon to stay, all you had to do was ask and he'd listen. 

That night, you and him hid in your room, talking for the whole night until the break of dawn. Nothing about the way he talked had changed, nor his laughter or the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He told you about the band and some side gigs, offering to bring you to some too. 

You laid there in bed laughing all night, occasionally peeking over the side of your bed to check up on him who slept on the extra mattress, only to meet his eyes and freeze. 

The red string of fate tying you and him together was beginning to reform.

Not feeling dread every time you saw Sunghoon was a new start for you. In fact, you were glad to see him. 

The misunderstandings and complexity built up over the years were finally addressed, leaving you to peace and a small hope of rebuilding what you had with him. But you kept that thought away for now, holding onto the pieces you had at the moment.

"Come to one of my gigs," Sunghoon made a trip to your house on a random afternoon, a box of your favourite chocolate covered strawberries in his hand. He never forgot anything about you, didn't he?

"Are you bribing me or asking me?" You said despite accepting the box, your heart squeezing at the thought of him remembering the littlest details about you.

"I'm asking you but also offering a gift," he let himself in, almost like always, and you didn't even notice, just letting him do so. "I saw it and I thought of you so I got it,"

"Thanks," you waved the box a little, setting it down on the table and leaning slightly against it. "You still remember," 

His gaze softened. "Of course I do," his hand by his side was itching to reach out, but it never did, instead, he played it off by giving you a smile. "So, what do you say? This Saturday, watch our gig at the pub," 

"Are you singing?"

"I wish I did," he laughed, and you momentarily recalled the times you had karaoke sessions with him. Curse reminiscence. "I play the bass, Heeseung's the front man," 

You nodded slowly, picturing them as a band and smiling slowly. You've missed them, and it was then when you realised it. "I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Obviously, do you want me to say no?"

"Well, no," Sunghoon chuckled, quite literally unable to hide his excitement from the way he's grinning widely. "I'm just … glad, and surprised, and happy,"

You bit back a smile, shaking your head at him. "Text me the details, will you? I don't want to miss it."

Saturday rolled around quickly. You and Yunjin were sitting in a corner of the pub, beers on the table and whispering gossip about some of your high school classmates. High school might've ended years ago but gossip never stopped.

"Alright, folks, the next act is someone you already know, they are not strangers," the manager of the pub stepped onto the small stage, announcing Sunghoon and the guy's band. "Please welcome … April Nights!"

April? 

You bit your tongue, an odd feeling boiling in your stomach. April was the month you broke up with Sunghoon and left for university, it was more than just a coincidence for him and his band to have 'April' in their name. All you knew was the sinking feeling never went away.

"You alright?" Yunjin noticed your silence, casting a worried glance at you.

"April …" you mumbled, eyes staring straight ahead at Sunghoon who was setting up his bass on stage. "There must be something behind it,"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

You shook away that feeling currently eating up and put your focus on Sunghoon instead. It wasn't your first time watching him perform. It has always been him on ice in a big arena, but now it was him on a small stage at a dingy pub.

Sunghoon's eyes wandered all over the room, finally landing on you, a smile spreading on his pretty face. You managed a small smile, waving a little to let him know you're there, you're actually there and not a figment of his imagination, a dream that he has been wishing on for far too long.

The first song they played was an ABBA song. To be specific, it was your favourite ABBA song that you would listen to with Sunghoon in the past. Was it a coincidence?

You knew Heeseung had a vocal of stars, but to hear it for the first time in years was sending you into heaven. However, you failed to keep your focus on him, redirecting it to the bassist. You couldn't stop looking at Sunghoon, and his gaze wouldn't leave yours either. 

The second song soon came by, and at that point onwards, you knew it wasn't a coincidence. It only took two songs for you to realise that Sunghoon had prepared a set list of your favourite songs. The band was currently playing Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, a song you had loved ever since forever.

You shouldn't be feeling light headed, but you were.

The set ended almost a few hours later. It was filled with your favourite songs, undoubtedly. The whole time, you were truly holding your breath, especially when Sunghoon was holding your gaze.

While people were filing in and out of the pub gradually, you stayed. It was well past midnight and Yunjin's cheeks were pink from the alcohol, wandering off to join Heeseung and the others. You, on the other hand, were sober as hell, waiting for Sunghoon with nerve wrecking anticipation.

"Hey, hey, hey. How did we do?" Sunghoon slid into a seat like an apparition appearing out of thin air. You jumped a little, but melted into a smile at the sight of him.

"You guys were great," it was genuine, because they did do amazing, probably more than just amazing. "'April nights', an interesting name,"

Realisation dawned on Sunghoon's face, he swallowed thickly. "I—yeah. April was an interesting month,"

"The set list …"

"Right, the set list," he chuckled, shifting on his feet a little nervously and stiffly. "I figured since you're here I'll play some of your favourite songs,"

"Oh," you let out softly, not knowing what else to say, this was something you found yourself acting around Sunghoon now. "That's … nice,"

Sunghoon gouged your expressions and the tone of your voice, a slow frown etching onto his tired face. "Did you not … like it? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,"

"No, it's not that! I'm just—" you paused, thinking of an appropriate word to describe how you felt. Frankly, you didn't know your exact feelings. "—surprised and … confused?"

"Confused?"

"Sunghoon, we're exes, and you pulling this isn't exactly helping—this—" you gestured to the space between you and him. "Us,"

Sunghoon was silent for a moment, occasionally opening his mouth to say something just to close it before he could. "I—maybe I read it all wrong, I thought—you know what, forget it,"

"Don't. Just tell me," you reached over for him, but didn't touch his hand. "What are we? We're not exactly best friends nor are we enemies. I don't want any tension between us and I don't want you to think you have zero chance at all," you breathed, searching for his eyes. "I would want us to work out again, if that's what you want too,"

Sunghoon's eyes glistened with a spark of hope, relief washing over his face. It was an answer to his question. "I want us to work out. I want us to have another chance," his hand reached out for yours the first time since you've seen each other, feeling the warmth of his touch that you were no stranger to. He carefully and gently intertwined his hand with yours.

"We'll always find our way back to each other."

It was odd but comforting to know that nothing has changed when it came to you and Sunghoon.

Sunghoon brought you to your favourite places, ate your favourite dishes, did your favourite activities as an attempt to rekindle everything back. Safe to say it was working.

Just like the first dates you had together, you felt yourself having the same bubbly feeling internally, the same giggles you caught yourself having after a stupid joke he made. Despite all that, over the course of a few weeks, it had you wondering about your relationship with him.

"Will you date him again?" Yunjin could tell you were struggling, even if you didn't say it, it was still quite evident.

"What's with the sudden question?"

"Well, considering he has taken you out on so many dates and still hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend again, I could tell you're troubled,"

"Okay, mind reader," you grumbled and shifted in your seat, hating how right she was. "He said he wanted to give us a chance again, so I was expecting that—you know—we'd get back together soon,"

"Your 'soon' seems a bit urgent, but I don't blame you," Yunjin shrugged, gaze softening at your words. "I can tell how much love there still is between the two of you. It's natural to gravitate towards each other, but time, time is what you need to heal the scars, Y/N. It's been years, give yourself time."

You suppose giving yourself time truly was what you needed. But when you mentally said you needed space, you didn't mean wanting Sunghoon to ignore you. 

That's right. He was ignoring you.

How did you know? Apparently, the hard way.

Calls, messages were all brushed aside. You didn't even see him physically. At one point, you considered him dead, but seeing him at a party proved to you that he wasn't.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Cornering him was a challenge, but being headstrong and slightly buzzed, nothing could possibly stop you.

"Y/N?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you remember my name," you seethed, almost stumbling forward and throwing a punch at him. "So, we're playing the game where you get back at me and ghost me after all that we've been through lately? Sweet! Could've given me a head's up though,"

"What? You're the one who's planning to abandon me just like before!"

"What are you even saying?" 

"Your email, Y/N. I saw your email. How you have a big job in London and you just can't wait to join, throwing me away like a summer's fling right before you leave,"

"You're not making any sense, I'm not accepting that role!" You were heaving at anger at this point, matching the fumes emitting from Sunghoon's ears. "You dickhead! I'm literally throwing my dreams away and you're here thinking I'm leaving you again? Is that what you thought of first? Oh, maybe you could've just asked me, but you didn't, just like the past,"

Bringing up the past had triggered something not only in you but him. He blinked, keeping silent but chewing anxiously on the inside of his cheek. 

"You never changed, huh?"

You heaved a deep breath, shaking your head a little, not to answer his question, but at him. 

"Well I guess that makes the both of us."

"I fucked it up, didn't I?"

The night after the confrontation, you woke up on Yunjin's couch with a hangover thanks to your habit of drinking your problems away. Remembering Sunghoon's face and the feelings you felt literally had you shrivelling back into the couch, a deep frown etched on your face.

"Partly, yes, but mostly, no," you felt the couch dip beneath Yunjin's weight as she joined your side, a warm cup of coffee in her hand. "He fucked up first, but I think it's all just a big misunderstanding,"

"I don't we've healed from it," you took the cup from her and drank from it. "He's scared of me leaving and I was considering leaving again. Maybe we're just not meant to be,"

Yunjin sighed, moving her body closer to you and placing a comforting hand on yours. "If you're not leaving, that means you're staying, which also means you get to make it right. You get to have time to mend it all unlike the last time,"

"I have to make it right, don't I?"

A nod of confirmation from Yunjin was all you needed to know your next step. So, you decided to show up at his gig in the same exact pub without thinking through it twice.

"He's not here tonight," Heeseung looked thoroughly puzzled by your sudden appearance, and it seemed none of them knew about the small altercation you had with Sunghoon. 

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's been acting a bit … off. We asked him to take a night off, maybe you should give him a call."

If only it was that easy. 

Walking back home with a dejected heart was not the plan you had in mind. A part of you even thought this was truly the end, maybe he reached the conclusion of going no contact and you have no choice but to accept it. Was this karma?

It didn't help that you walked past the park that you and Sunghoon used to run off to back in the past.  The exact bench which you and him sat on still resided there. Your curious mind led your legs towards it, taking a seat and remembering all the memories you shared with him. 

Being alone under the night sky and getting accompanied by the dim light coming from the street lamp had given you a chance to rethink your choices about coming back home, whether it was worth it to see Sunghoon once again and try for the closure you never got. Well, look where it got you now.

The ruffles of the leaves got you snapping your head towards the direction of the noise, but it only landed on a figure.

"Y/N?"

You squinted, waiting until the figure walked under the streetlamp to distinguish that it was … Sunghoon. You should be feeling glad now that he was there in front you, but why were you feeling the exact opposite?

"Sunghoon? W–what are you doing here?" You stood up, watching him getting closer, the anguish in his face was clear.

"I–I … I went to look for you," he started, carefully and slowly inching closer until there's a comfortable distance between you both. "You weren't home and I thought … that was it,"

That was a fatal flaw you and him shared, wasn't it?

"I went to the pub to look for you too," your voice came out in a hushed whisper, breathing becoming ragged. "And you weren't there, so I thought … I thought it was the end too,"

"Fuck's sake, I know I said this many times but I'm sorry, Y/N," he sounded desperate, apologetic and almost exasperated. "I'm sorry for assuming things and ignoring you, I guess I never really got rid of the avoiding thing. I'm just … scared of you leaving me and I can't accept it again,"

"I'm not leaving, Hoonie," you were the first to reach out, to touch him and pull him into your embrace. "I didn't think you'd see that email so I never said anything about it. But I'm not leaving, okay? Not this time, never again. I'm here and I'm staying,"

You heard Sunghoon's quiet breathing next to your ear, his calming heartbeat thrumming against your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I really am, Y/N. I said I wanted to make this right but why does it feel like I'm fucking it all up?"

"You're not, Hoon, trust me. If I have to be honest here, both of us have past scars that aren't healed yet. It takes time, one step at a time, and that was what I learned. I think we're not fully healed from the past," you held onto him tighter, spilling all your hidden truths. "We can make it right, but first, we have to forgive ourselves, forgive each other and move on,"

Sunghoon pulled away a little, but his arms still remained around you. It was the first time you were ever so close to him since the split, wholly vulnerable and showing him your truest emotions. 

"I forgive you," he whispered, pearly tears threatening to spill from the edge of his eyes. "And I'm sorry again,"

"I forgive you too," your grip on his jacket tightened, a small comforting smile appearing on your lips, one that Sunghoon reciprocated. 

"I don't think I'll ever stop loving you," he confessed, a little out of the blue, but it was something he needed to get out of his system before he burst. "Those years when you were away, I see you in everyone else, I don't think anyone could ever compare. I still love you even after this long,"

Your mind was in a haze upon hearing his confession, sincerity and longing hidden in his words but evident in his eyed. For a moment, you thought of what you could say, but nothing came to mind, so you did the first thing your body told you to. You kissed him. Actually, it was more of a peck, a simple quick peck that was enough to shock both him and you.

"I'm sorry!" You saw his wide eyes and wondered if it was a good time to have even done that.

Sunghoon melted into an expression of adoration, a wide smile etched on his lips, as if in both disbelief and relief that you kissed him. "Don't be sorry," he stepped closer, only an inch measured the distance between you and him. The space became smaller when he leaned down, eyes flickering down to your lips. "Can I?"

Was this happening? "Yeah," 

Sunghoon didn't waste any moment in meeting your lips with his. It was natural, easy, for you to kiss him just like first instinct. The amount of desperation, sadness, anger and love were poured into the way he kissed you. There wasn't any urgency, but it spoke louder than intended.

It was short, but it was enough to let the both you know the true feelings you harboured for each other. By the time you pulled away from him, you felt his eyes on you, a giggle erupted from you unexpectedly, and he started joining in.

You really looked like a lovesick fool standing under the streetlamp with your lover. 

"Do you want to stop by that old spot we used to go to?" Sunghoon suggested, a little shyly this time.

"The one nearby?"

"That one,"

"Let's go then." you nodded, casting him a soft smile. 

Sunghoon didn't say much, but his hand did the talking by reaching for yours. He held onto it tightly, intertwining his fingers with yours and swinging your interlocked hands as you walked. He might've not said much, but you could tell how he felt.

Feelings might be complicated, and  making amends with the history behind a broken relationship was equally challenging, but what mattered most was getting back with the one who you called your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog @eleanorheartschishiya @nanabbg @letwiiparkjay @teddywonss @classicroyalty @run2x @yannnnaj @jakesfurry @gyuwooboozle @nylajp24 @usedto-me @vernonburger

I just realised i didn't introduce myself in the previous post. I am Hannah, a huge Taylor Swift fan, love kpop and kdramas. My fav groups are seventeen, enhypen, bts, txt, le sserafim and ive. Although I stan literally everyone in those groups, my bias are Joshua, Sunghoon, Jungkook Soobin, Kazuha and Yujin. I also LOVE IU and Taeyeon

My passion is writing. I write songs and various genres of stories BUT I would also love to write fics if I had an audience .

I would love to have friends here but sadly I don't have a clue how making friends here work. So please be nice to me here!!!

✿ ✿ 〞kisses to his moles

✰ pairings: bf!mingyu x fem!reader

✰ genre: romance, fluff, flirting, soft moments

✰ warnings: kissing ( lots of it ), soft hours, flirting

✰ word count: 885 words

mingyu didn’t notice it at first. he didn’t notice that whenever you kissed him, the first place you would kiss him was his nose. you would leave light feathery kisses on his nose and in return he would scrunch up his nose and give you a toothy grin. he would usually just pull you in and in return, pepper your face with gentle kisses.

your ear stays planted against mingyu’s chest while yours hands are entangled around his body. with every breath he releases to every little giggle that escapes his mouth, you capture it all. mingyu’s eyes remain locked onto his phone where he watches his favourite show, but his hands stay near you. or to be precise, twirling and playing with the strands of your hair.

you trace patterns on his chest and you weren’t surprised when you heard a soft laugh from him, “that tickles babe.”

“does it?” you tease and move your fingers to his neck threateningly. your eyes meet with his and you see the look of defeat followed by a look of desperacy, as if telling you to spare him. so you do.

“you know i read something earlier,” you mutter and place your legs over his.

“yeah?” he hummed and looked at you curiously, the show still plays on his phone but his attention is no longer on it. “what did you read?”

you grab his face in your hands and move his head both sides before touching his left cheek. a place above his jaw where there was a spot, a mole to be exact.

mingyu’s eyes followed your actions and his eyes softened when you leaned ahead to kiss his mole. your lips stay glued to his skin for a few seconds before you pull away. your fingers touch the spot and he shudders at the coldness of your fingertips.

your eyes shift to his nose and you trace the mole along there as well. he sighed in content when you placed more kisses on his moles. his hand moved down your waist to steady you as he watched you lean back in satisfaction.

“had fun then?” he whispered with a knowing smile as he tucks the strand of hair behind your ear.

you rolled your eyes at his words and replied, “i suppose i did. you know these moles? i read that these are the places where your lover from your previous life had kissed you the most.”

“what if that lover wasn’t me?” you voice out your thoughts and he chuckles in amusement.

“well then you’re here now to make new ones,” he muttered and turned his head towards the other side so that the right side of his cheek was facing you. you lifted your upper body up and grabbed the collar of his shirt before pressing your lips near his ear.

the kiss sent tingles down his spine which led to the appearance of goosebumps as you smiled against his skin.

you pulled back in satisfaction and traced the area where you left a kiss. there was nothing right now but your love.

“don’t worry, it will become a mole in my next life right?” he teased and dodged away when you pretended to smack his head.

“it’s interesting although. i like this theory,” he says louder than before and you fight back a smile by resting your hands around his neck. “it’s my turn now!”

you squeal in surprise when he ran his fingers across your cheek, presumably where there was a mole and pressed his lips over there. he did that thrice before he pressed his forehead against yours and smiled warmly.

“you,” a kiss on the temple.

“are,” a kiss on your nose.

“the,” a kiss on your lips that lasts the longest.

“only,” a kiss on your jaw.

“one,” a kiss on your left cheek.

“i promise,” he mutters with his lips grazing your ear.

you let out a hearty laugh when his breath fans over your neck, tickling you.

“i love you so much okay? no matter who my past was. you are my present and i hope that you will be my future as well,” he reassured, smiling down at you and brushing his nose against yours.

you ruffle his hair fondly and whisper, “i wish the very same too, my love.”

with the passing second, his lips find their way back to your skin as he pulls you in deeper complaining how you were far away from his reach.

“aren’t you tired of kissing me?” you question.

“i could never be. kissing you is a habit that i don’t even plan on getting rid of. in fact it’s one of my best habits.”

“you’re so cheesy,” you scoff at his words and look away from him. his gaze no matter how loving, never fails to not make you nervous.

the fact that he knows it so well makes you want to control yourself around him but you can’t. especially not when he looks at you as if you’re the only one.

he knows the effect he has on you. he knows the little gestures of his never fails to make your heart pump a bit quicker. he knows that the tender kisses has your lips curling up in seconds. he knows it all so well.

Because I Know You

Summary: You and Joshua had recently started dating. And as you know, blossoming a friendship into a relationship is a very delicate matter. You two decided to take it slow but an incident makes you two realise just how hard you two had fallen for each other.

Warnings: none other than slight angst and crying.

Though you had known Joshua since you were a freshman in college, it had only been two months since you and Joshua started dating. You two had met each through mutual friends. It can be quite nerve-wracking to blossom a friendship into something more and at the same time, risk losing the precious bond you've made over the years. Thus, it took you guys a long time to come to terms with your mutual feelings and just two months ago, decided to give it a try.

You and Joshua had decided to take it pretty slow and chill. You two had held hands but never kissed, used nicknames for one another but never called each other baby or babe. Your cynical nature was starting to interfere and it was starting to feel all too delicate and you were worried that one wrong move could ruin it all. You were worried that maybe you had fallen too hard for your new boyfriend but he was still yet to fall that hard.

It was the weekend and Joshua had asked you out on a date, and though you were trying to go out with him and escape the mundane life, you couldn't as you had been down with a bad flu. You couldn't stop sneezing and could barely breathe through all those frequent coughs. Joshua being a gentleman obviously understood it well but he couldn't help worrying. Over several years he had seen just how terrible your condition would be when you caught a flu. Joshua suggested coming over to your house but you couldn't risk him getting sick at all , especially more so now that he had an important presentation at work coming up. You convinced him that you could somehow survive the night but Joshua made you promise him to call if you had any trouble at all.

Later at around 9, he called you once again to make sure you would be fine alone but you did not answer. he rang you two more times, but still no response from your side. Now not be dramatic or anything, but Joshua felt like he was gonna die. He was beyond worried about you and several scenarios coming to his mind, certainly did not help his situation. What if you had fainted? What if someone had broken into your house? Joshua could not just sit still. He basically ran into his basement, got into his car, frantically turned it on and started driving to your house. It is safe to say that Joshua had jumped at least two red lights and honestly, he couldn't even bring himself to care. The only thing occupying his mind was his girlfriend, you...

Finally after what had felt like an eternity (but actually 25 minutes), Joshua was standing at your door. He rang the bell once but you didn't answer. He rang it twice and there was no answer. Just as Joshua felt like he was gonna lose it, and he was a second away from breaking down, you opened the door.

There you were, standing with your pale face and chapped lips, with messy and tangled hair and your comfortable sweatshirt and pjs. You were shocked to see your boyfriend standing right in front of your door. You greeted him with a frown, "Josh, is everything alright? Why are you here this late? Wait are you crying? What happened? ." At this, Joshua felt his eyes becoming more glassy and more tears started to run down his face. He thought to himself "Damn, I can't live without her. Ugh I cannot believe it took an incident like this to realise I have fallen this hard for her". The two minutes that he had spent ringing your doorbell with no response, he realised, what would he do without you?

Joshua could no longer hold himself back, he wrapped you in a tight hug and slowly caressed your hair. When you heard him sniffling softly, your heart broke unaware that it was because of you. You asked him "Shua, did something happen at work? Why aren't you saying anything?". Joshua chuckled softly and answered "Did you see that I had called you a few times? Why didn't you answer? I felt like I was gonna pass out if you wouldn't open the door." Perplexed , you replied "Wait I had no idea you called. I got a fever and I had taken few heavy pills which made me really sleepy. Aww were you worried about me?" you answered with a laugh. "You actually think this is funny? The tears that you see on my face is because I was forced to imagine my world without you for a while. I seriously thought I lost you." Joshua said with his voice cracking in between. You pulled back from the hug to look him in the eyes, "Shua, what could even happen to me in my own apartment? You know how good the security is here and you also know I tend to sleep a lot when I catch a flu." You said once again after a pause, "I actually had no idea you cared this much." At this Joshua felt as if he had failed at expressing just how special you were to him. He also knew that no amount of words could covey his feelings towards you nor did he actually have the ability to speak anymore after sobbing ,so he did something that he wanted to do all these years ever since college. He leaned in to give you a kiss.

Though the kiss was short, you felt as if you were floating in clouds and you were sure that it was not because of the pills you had taken earlier. His lips were so soft and he kissed you so softly as if you would break. You two had blush blooming on both of your cheeks. Joshua cleared his throat and said "Let's order some food. Knowing you, you probably didn't eat anything for dinner." You let out a gasp, "How the hell did you know that?" Joshua answered with his signature heart-winning smile, "Because I know you."

Note: This is my first fic I have ever written so it's not that good but I had fun writing it. Also, I have an account on Archive Of Our Own and I posted this there as well, so don't be alarmed if you see this there.