Spilling Ur Guts

Spilling ur Guts

all fake !!!!

sophies.vargas

Liked by sabrinacarpenter and 2,254,740 others

sophies.vargas it would be a bad idea if you don't check out my new music video!

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fan1 ALBUM WHEN??!?!?

fan2 QUEEN

sabrinacarpenter in love with u and this song 💜

sophies.vargas me tooo 🩵 fan4 the purple and blue heart OMG!!

rachelzegler ily pooks 😽

sophie.vargas MWAH

fan3 atp just release the album. (just joking take ur time mother🫂)

taylorswift ❤

liked by sophie.vargas

WadsworthBenjamin I would've made the video better if I was there tbh

sophies.vargas nuh uh fan5 best duo HAHA

caileespaeny watching it rn as we speak !

sophie's.vargas 😼

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

elijahhewson recently added to their story.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

sophie.vargas

Liked by elijahhewson and 2,542,716 others

sophie.vargas Happy birthday to my debut album, Sour !! It was the best and worst year of my life but this album has changed my life ! 🦋

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WadsworthBenjamin missin the sour era tbh

sophie.vargas Womp Womp

rachelzegler iconic era ! hope ur okay now tho 🫶

liked by sophie.vargas

sophiefan1 THE 2ND SLIDE THE HAT HELLO?????

sophiefan2 HOLD UP inhalerfan GUYS ELIJAH IS IRISH I DONT THINK SHE POSTED IT RANDOMLY

sabrinacarpenter I miss the 'sour' sour patch kids bags

liked by sophie.vargas

sophiefan3 I still have the bags HAHA

inhalerfan2 THE 2ND SLIDE IS WOW BUT ELIJAH LIKED HER POST?!?!?

sophiefan4 SO THEN ITS HIM???? inhalerfan2 prolly😭

sophiefan5 I think she saw the tweets abt her purple hat and Eli tbh😓

credit to: anitalenia for divider !

Wowowow 1st little story I posted here. There will be a part 2, maybe a little series and imagines Abt thiss. I was sooo lazy to finish this but I finish it HAHA

Olivia is just my faceclaim for my Dr guys, don't get confused plss 😭 All of this is NOT true, it did not happen, I love my parents🫶(Louis and Olivia) Im also aware that Elijahs insta is private so I have no idea what he posts sadly, I like to think that he accepted some of his fans on his insta 😔

Pls tell me if the tweet abt the hat is blurry😓

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Tiktok: bialrvv

Wattpad: bialrvv

makeup by Đức Võ Minh

I would treat them better than Coriolanus tbh 😔

lmao imagine fumbling these two cuties

like I could never😌

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ #ㅤㅤ𝒅ivid𝖾rsㅤㅤ☆

Serendipitous (Part Two)

[fem reader] contains: non consensual touch, cheating (not on billy), forced betrothal, verbal abuse, controlling parents, physical abuse, gaslighting pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: stuck in an arranged betrothal, you think you'll forever be trapped until you meet billy and your world is flipped upside down author’s note: thank you thank you thank you for all the support! sending love *mwah* Series Pinterest Board (updated) Series Spotify Playlist (updated)(chapter starting at Crimson and Clover)

"Don't let 'em getcha down, sunshine."

Billy's words echoed between your ears all the way home as you prepared to face your parents, and potentially Henry.

You felt unusually happy as you made the trek despite the looming prospect of your family. When you were close to your house you even took your shoes off, feeling the warm earth beneath your feet. Everything seemed brighter now to you: the sky, the grass, the flowers. It was all enhanced somehow, just when you'd thought it couldn't be more beautiful.

When your house got into view, you paused and took a deep breath, feeling anxiety hammer at your chest.

"Don't let 'em getcha down, sunshine."

Your feet moved you forward.

As expected, the second you opened the door you were met with voices shouting at you. They demanded to know where you'd been, why you weren't wearing shoes, why you'd disappeared last night, who you'd been with.

You could hardly place which questions were coming from who, only that Henry was mercifully not present.

"I had a headache," you said quietly, feeling slightly guilty that you'd worried them. "I didn't want to ruin anyone's night, so I figured I'd just come home. But I got lost."

They scolded you for not telling anybody you were leaving, saying Henry had been very worried about you. Thinking back to how much he'd drank while you were with him and knowing he'd undoubtedly drunk more, you doubted it. Still, you felt bad, understanding why they were upset. If your story had been true, it would've been foolish for you to leave like that. But you'd rather have them be mad about that story than the real one. So, you apologized, and they sent you to your room for the rest of the day.

You shut your bedroom door behind you, your parents' comments hardly stinging like they would have in the past. As a child you'd developed the habit of internalizing the negative emotions of those around you, the result a tangled mess of guilt sitting on your chest like a lead ball. Somehow that weight was lighter right now.

Going to the mirror, you brushed your hair away from your neck, revealing the love bite Billy had left mere hours ago. Touching it, you couldn't help but smile. It was proof last night had really happened.

As you looked over yourself, at your messy appearance, you didn't see the ghost that used to stare back at you. For the first time in who knows how long you'd made a decision for yourself. And it had felt marvelous.

Forget Henry, forget everything. You'd had a taste of independence, and it was addicting.

Your horse raced up the hill, your hair flying behind you, the wind kissing your cheeks. Once you'd reached the top you tugged on the reins, looking back at your companion.

Billy chuckled good-naturedly as he rode up beside you. "Who knew ya'd be able to beat me?"

"I told you I knew how to ride," you smiled, and he tipped his hat.

"Well goddamn," he grinned, and you looked down, your cheeks flushing pink. Even being in his presence had you flustered in the best way.

After a day sequestered in your room, you'd been allowed back out of the house under a very strict curfew and a promise made on your part to allow Henry to call on you since he'd apparently been so concerned.

The visit was painful in a multitude of ways.

He sat far too close, causing your fists to clench and knees to squeeze shut involuntarily. Of course, he insisted on kissing you, and all you could think of was the only other man whose lips had touched yours.

"You're not to ever leave my side at a party again," he'd said in a tone that was light but burningly threatening. "You embarrassed me in front of my friends with your outburst and scared me half to death when you disappeared. It's a miracle you made it home at all by yourself with how vulnerable you look."

"It's a miracle you remember after how much you drank." You'd meant for that to stay a thought, a silent pushback, but it fell out of your mouth before you could stop it and your eyes widened in horror. Henry hated it when you commented on his drinking.

You saw it coming before it happened. His hand shot out, gripping your wrist so tightly you let out a strangled little noise. Your breaths were becoming increasingly rapid as he leaned into you.

"Say it again." He did not raise his voice, which made his words all the more terrifying. You searched his eyes, the worst possible scenarios running through your mind.

When you hesitated, he shoved your arm against the corner of the table and you whimpered, trying to hold back how much it hurt. "I said, say it again."

"I..." you inhaled once through your nose, your heart still running like a rabbit. "Thank you for being so concerned. I won't do it again."

"That's better." Henry let go of your wrist and you slowly brought it back to rest on your lap. If you moved too quickly, he'd grab it again. You couldn't help but look down at your arm, at the bruises already forming both from the force of the table and his fingers.

Henry noticed, and he exhaled once through his nose. "If you were better, I wouldn't have to do this to you, you know that? Look what you made me do?" He waved a careless hand at your arm. "Now I have that on my conscious."

All you could do was nod, your eyes falling to your lap.

You'd seen Billy in the market that afternoon, and he'd approached you with a smile that made every worry you'd had over the past two days melt into nothing. When he suggested you go for a ride the next day you'd immediately agreed.

Now here you were, sitting atop a horse next to him on a hill that overlooked a magnificent valley.

He was looking at you, you could feel it, and you liked how when you turned to meet his eyes he didn't look away. There was that jaunty half smile again. It would have weakened your knees if you'd been standing.

"Where're we goin' sunshine?" Billy asked, and his horse tossed its head as if wondering the same thing. Something about him letting you take the lead had you sighing internally in a longing way.

You looked out over the line of trees, studying it. Turning back to him and nodding your head in that direction, you said, "I haven't explored that area yet? Should we...?"

He gave an enthusiastic nod. "Lead the way."

Your heart did cartwheels as the two of you rode off side by side. It was invigorating to be out doing your favorite thing with someone like Billy. Someone who seemed to love it as much as you did.

When your horses breached the beginning of the trees both of you slowed down, just riding contently next to each other. You looked over and caught the sight of his thighs, appearing as firm and thick as you knew them to be. Now you were remembering how it felt to have one pressed up against you-

"See somethin' ya like?"

You met his eyes again. He was grinning cheekily. Focusing back on the path in front of you, you said, "I'm not allowed to look at you?"

"Just the opposite," he chuckled. "You can look at me 's much as ya want. I'll encourage it."

His words left you smiling. "I suppose I should tell you you're allowed to look at me too."

"Only if ya want me to, sweet thing," Billy lifted the brim of his hat so he could see you better.

You giggled, looking away as you blushed. "Have you ever been down here before?"

"It's as new to me as it is you," he said, looking out ahead and squinting. "There's somethin' over there."

Billy tugged on the reins to move his horse faster and you copied him. As you got closer to the spot, you could see what he was looking at. A small, weathered cabin smack in the middle of a clearing.

You laughed in delight, the surprise warming your heart. "How lovely."

"'S a miracle it's held up I reckon." Billy climbed off his horse, tying it to a tree branch. He politely held out a hand so you could get off too, and you accepted, gracefully stepping down. His other hand found your hip to steady you, and even the slight touch sent excited shivers through your body.

He checked to make sure nobody was inside, and that was the first time you ever saw him hold his gun. The sight probably should have scared you, but the protective nature of it all had you nearly swooning.

Once it was clear, you stepped inside. It was a dusty, one room setup, but you found it charming. There was a fireplace to the side, and cabinets lining one of the far walls.

"It feels like a storybook," you turned to look at Billy, who seemed pleased with your excitement.

"It's somethin' to be sure," he looked up at the roof. "Reminds me of a place my family stayed at when I was a kid. We were trekkin' 'cross the country to the West and we ended up in a cabin just like this to start, four of us in one room."

"You must've been brave," you looked at him as he talked about his past. "How old were you?"

"Young," he nodded, his blue eyes meeting yours. "Was a hard journey. But we made it."

"Does your family live here?" you questioned curiously.

"They're all gone now," Billy's smile dimmed just a bit. "Got sick in a couple different ways."

Feeling a twinge of sympathy, you stepped closer to him. Your hand found his, cautiously clasping them together. It surprised you when his fingers curled around yours, squeezing back. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Billy lifted your hand to his lips, kissing it gently. "Thank you, sunshine."

He rubbed his thumb over your knuckle, and then sat down on the dusty floor, pulling you down with him. "C'mere." He patted his thighs.

Smiling, you straddled his legs, facing him as he leaned against the wall. His big hands held your waist as his eyes fell on you, not sexual at all in nature. Just looking.

"Tell me more about your family." You smiled, settling in his lap. "How did they treat you?"

"My mama was the sweetest person ever to walk the earth," he reminisced, the thought turning his lips up again. Then he reached out and poked your cheek. "Other than you 'f course."

"Oh please," you looked down, half laughing.

"I mean it, sunshine," he squeezed your waist. "You're all sugar and no spice. Well-" he thought for a moment. "Maybe a little cinnamon."

That made you giggle, which made him smile lazily. "'nough 'bout my family though. Tell me 'bout yours. How do they treat you?" Billy repeated your words, but the question unintentionally held more weight than it had when you'd asked it.

You bit the inside of your cheek for a moment, your eyes finding his again afterward. "They...they treat me as well as they are able."

"Oh?" his brow quirked slightly. "How so?"

"It's not easy for them," you decided on saying. "I don't make things easy for them."

Billy searched your eyes, and you avoided his look, certain those piercing blues could see straight into your soul and cause all your secrets to rip from your throat. He didn't say anything until you were looking at him again.

"You're a sweetheart if I ever saw one," he said quietly. "Anyone who doesn't think so needs to open their eyes."

The way he said it was so smooth and gentle that you couldn't help but believe him. Billy's eyes lit up when your smile reappeared. It was so intimate, the way your happiness satisfied him.

As you looked into his eyes you thought, with that familiar stab of guilt, of your fiancé. But it wasn't over hurting Henry. It was over Billy.

He was a good man who was obviously starting to care about you. And you cared about him. He didn't deserve to be a pawn in the game you were playing to try and reach freedom. You decided to tell him. Tell him that you were engaged, and you were sorry and let him leave you to find some other lucky girl.

You opened your mouth to do so, but before you could speak, he said, "I know why ya left in such a rush the other morning."

A jolt of surprise made you pause. Had he heard from someone else? "You do?"

He nodded grimly. "It's your family, ain't it? Ya don't think they'll approve of me?"

You were frozen. That wasn't entirely untrue. Your father would never approve of you being with someone like Billy. If his horizons of marital prospects for his daughter hadn't only been comprised of the so-called gentleman of Atlanta society, you likely would've married long ago.

Billy noted your silence and nodded, picking up your hands and holding them between your chests. He held your gaze. "Look pretty, I...I had a real nice night with ya. It was special." You could have melted into a puddle at the way he said it.

He squeezed one hand, bringing it to his heart. "I meant what I said that morning. I don't just do that with any gal. I..." his chin bobbed as his stare became more intense. "I like you. And I wanna keep seein' ya. If who your family is means we gotta keep it quiet for a while that's alright."

You were floored. So he didn't know about Henry. Pushing that aside, you focused on what he'd said. He wanted to be with you.

Still feeling guilty, you squeezed his hand back. "Billy, that's not fair to you. I don't...you shouldn't have to get tangled up in this." You meant it in both the way he thought you meant and the way you really did.

His eyes were soft, and he left your hand on his heart in favor of stroking your cheek. "It ain't your fault they are the way they are. I know how some folk 'r set in their ways." Billy held your cheek so warmly that you leaned into it, seeing a flicker of light in his eyes when you did.

Leaning closer so you could see he was serious, he said, "I mean it. I like you. More 'n like you. And I wanna keep seeing ya. no matter the circumstances."

Billy was so earnest and honest and true that you felt like a monster. But the way he held you, the way he looked at you...you'd be a fool to resist.

So, you stayed wise.

"I want to keep seeing you too," you whispered, your lips parting in a little smile.

His face split into a grin and he closed the gap between your lips, kissing you for the first time since the other morning. This kiss wasn't like the passionate ones you'd shared before. It was so soft and sweet that you nearly ached.

Your hand fell from his heart, and he picked it up again, the long sleeve of your dress falling down slightly. The bruises.

Billy noticed. Of course he noticed. You braced yourself for what he'd say.

But not a word fell from his lips. He just studied your wrist for a second, then lifted it to his lips as if to kiss away the pain. Butterflies.

You knew it as soon as his lips touched your skin.

Oh.

I'm falling in love.

In the weeks that followed, you discovered there were a multitude of different ways to sneak out of your house.

Paranoid about someone catching you, you tried to rotate so it wouldn't be suspicious. But it turned out that your parents, caught up in their own affairs, hardly noticed what you were doing as long as you were home at the time they'd told you to be.

And so you were free.

Months of being trapped and miserable melted away the more time you spent with him. Billy was a door that opened to reveal everything that was wonderful.

The two of you explored every nook of the surrounding land on your horses. He showed you his favorite places and you showed him yours, surprised and delighted that a few of them overlapped.

Whenever he spread out a blanket you knew you were going to be kissing him a lot, often leading to more. He'd bring you to some river or wildflower field and pull you down between his arms, his lips devouring you until you were senseless. Oh, his kisses. They were the nectar that kept you breathing.

He showed you other ways of being intimate. You'd been surprised and confused the first time he'd pushed your skirt up and dipped his head between your legs. But Billy had walked you through it, keeping one arm wrapped around your thigh and the other propped up on its elbow so you could hold his hand.

It was a renaissance. Your pleasure, your freedom, your love. After so many years being drained by Atlanta society you hadn't been sure any of those were possible, especially the last. Billy was showing you they were, especially the last.

Billy listened to you. He cared about you. He was steady and smooth and easy in all the best ways. He kept a hand on you when he could, but it was never in a possessive way, more of an I'm here way. He was receptive to what you wanted, perceptive to your moods. Not that there was a variety; it was hard for you to be anything but happy around him

He made you laugh, filled you with a kind of giddy joy that had you giggling even when there was nobody around except the memory of him. Billy's entire being filled you with the kind of joy one could only dream up. It did not take you long to realize you loved him.

Just being with him was bliss. You felt like you could tell him anything in the world. Well, almost anything.

Your fiancé hung over the two of you like dead weight threatening to drop at any moment. Desperately, you wanted to tell Billy about it, especially after rougher days when Henry called on you and you needed comfort. What held you back was the thought of Billy feeling sorry for you, but also the fact that it was more likely now that he'd leave you once he knew. And you couldn't bear for this to end sooner than it had to.

So you guiltily stayed silent.

Even though you didn't tell Billy anything about what was going on, he was so perceptive that it likely wasn't hard to notice not everything was right with you.

There was one time when he had you lying on your back under the shade of a tree, kissing you feverishly with one leg keeping both of yours open.

His fingers glided up your waist, and you sighed at the feeling. One of your hands was tangled in his hair, with the other flung above your head.

You didn't even notice his hand had been going there, but when you felt it cupping your breast you sat up, panicked. That day in the drawing room.

Billy, understandably, was perplexed, but in a worried way. "You okay, sunshine?"

Gathering your bearings and reminding yourself that it was just him, you nodded, your breathing evening out again. "I'm sorry. I just..." you trailed off, looking up into his eyes. They were nearly cerulean as they stayed fixed on you, checking to see if you were well.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Billy assured you, slowly reaching out to hold the side of your face. He leaned in, kissing the corner of your mouth, almost like a question.

You turned your head to kiss him fully, your hand going to hold his other one. He responded slowly, easing you into the kiss. In a split-second decision, you lifted his hand and pressed it back against your breast, letting his fingers splay out over it.

He pecked your lips once. "Ya sure?" Another tiny kiss, his nose nudging yours. "You okay?" Billy experimentally cupped your breast, making sure you weren't flinching or wincing before his lips dove onto yours again.

Nodding, you pulled him close, and he slowly lowered you back atop the jacket of his he'd spread out for you to lay on.

The other episode was slightly scarier.

You'd been out for hours with him, on horseback for most of it, but he'd suggested you find a place to watch the sunset. Agreeing eagerly, you followed him to a pretty hilltop that he said had the best view.

The sky had been painted glorious streaks of orange and blue and purple and pink, reflecting on the few clouds left in the sky. It was romantic and peaceful watching the sun sink into the earth while you were snuggled under his arm.

When the stars started to poke their heads into the darkened sky Billy began pointing out constellations. Fascinated by what he knew, you listened, your eyes growing heavy as the lull of his voice relaxed your mind. One minute you were nodding along as he told you the story of Cassiopeia, and the next you were dreaming.

When you awoke, you didn't know where you were, only that you were cozy and warm and lying on top of something equally cozy and warm.

Cracking your eyes open, you saw that you were lying on your tummy on Billy's chest, your legs between his. He'd spread his jacket atop you sometime during the night to serve as a blanket. Given the fact that you were usually a light sleeper, you were surprised he'd managed to maneuver you into this position without you knowing. Smiling, you realized that likely spoke to how safe you felt around him.

Settling back into his arms, you closed your eyes for one second before remembering. Your curfew.

As if by another force, your body shot up, and you tried to stand but tripped over Billy's legs, waking him up too. He sat upright and rubbed his eyes. "Mornin', sunshine."

"What time is it?" you asked hurriedly, looking at the horizon. The sun hadn't risen yet, thank goodness.

Billy pulled you back toward him, so you were sitting against his side, and reached into the pocket of his jacket that was still around your shoulders. With one arm wrapped around you and resting on your thigh, he pulled out his pocket watch and flipped it open, squinting at the numbers. "Almost five, baby. Why?"

Your eyes were like saucers. "I should have been home hours ago." As it sunk in, your heart pounded, and you felt like you were going to cry.

"It's okay," Billy put a hand on your back, rubbing it lightly. "'S real early darlin'. Doubt anyone's awake."

Still, you shook your head, knowing your family would have noticed you didn't come home in time. Your breaths became rapid, and you felt tears spring to your eyes. When you looked down at your hands they were shaking. If your parents knew, then Henry was bound to find out and-

"Hey, hey," Billy frowned, following your eyes to your hands. He reached over and clasped one, the warmth lessening your shaking. "We'll getcha home, sweetheart. It's okay, no need to fret."

He stood, gripping your hand to help you get to your feet as well. You handed him back his jacket, and he pulled it on. Billy's hands came to bracket your face, and he kissed your forehead, then your nose and both your cheeks. You recognized the soothing motion by the time he captured your lips in a calming kiss.

"You're gonna be okay," he promised, and you nodded. It was easy to believe him. Billy pulled you into his arms for just a moment, kissing your hair. "We had a really good night, yeah?"

As you thought about it you smiled a little, and he pulled back to look. "There she is." Billy guided you over to where your horses were tied, unknotting the reins and offering a hand to help you get on. He gave the reins to you, giving your fingers a final squeeze. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"I'll see you later," you confirmed, giving him a real smile before you rode off.

It turned out you needn't have been so worried. Both your parents had been at a party until late and had assumed you were in bed when you got home. At least, that was what a member of the staff had told you. Still, from then on you were more careful about what time you got home.

Henry was becoming increasingly impatient with you, complaining that you didn't spend enough time with him. There were a few more parties he tried to drag you to, but you made excuse after excuse, doing your absolute best to keep your distance. Though you couldn't hold him off forever.

There was to be a dinner. And not just with your family, although it was being hosted at their house. There were two more guests invited; a man your father and Henry were working closely with and one of his associates. You didn't pay much attention to who they were, truthfully. All you heard was that there was going to be another night of sitting still all trussed up like a doll, and with the same purpose too. Smile and look pretty. Mere ornamentation for your husband-to-be.

You spent the day with Billy beforehand, trying to get as much happy in your head as possible. He obviously could tell something was irking at you, but didn't push you, just held you extra tight. You could have cried over the sweetness of his gesture, or lack of it.

Now, laced into an itchy dress with your hair pulled up, you did your best to be positive. Since it was unlikely you'd be talking for most of the night you dwelt on a bank of memories from the last few weeks, all involving Billy, as you descended the stairs.

Henry kissed your cheek and told you that you looked beautiful. You accepted the compliment; grateful it was that.

Pulling you aside, your mother made like she was straightening your dress before you went into the front room to greet the guests with her. "Remember... best behavior. It's your job to keep Mr. Merritt happy."

She meant well, but the words still stung. Your mother had a habit of giving advice she found helpful but ended up leaving you down. It wasn't her fault, you knew. She'd been raised in the same sort of mouse trap you had, but she never knew it.

Entering the room, you went to Henry when he held out a hand, standing at his side like you were supposed to.

"This is my fiancée," he introduced you to an older man with a mustache called Eaton, who eyed you appreciatively. You gave him a shy smile, trying to subtly cover your cleavage. Yet another thing you disliked about this dress.

"The pleasure is mine." Mr. Eaton lifted your hand to kiss it.

Entirely, you thought, but you smiled.

"And this," Henry turned you to the other man and you nearly gasped. "Is Mr. William H. Bonney."

"Billy." Your response was automatic, and you panicked, looking back at Henry.

He didn't suspect anything. "Ah, you've heard of him my dear? Folks call him 'the Kid'."

Billy was dressed in more formal wear than you were used to, but he still looked like him. That was more than you could say for yourself. He'd removed his hat, so you could fully see the look of shock in his eyes.

Henry was oblivious. "Mr. Bonney, allow me to introduce my bride-to-be." He beamed at you. "Isn't she a sight for sore eyes?"

"Beautiful," Billy agreed, his gaze not leaving you. It wasn't like you could tear your eyes away from him either. Now he knows. The betrayal he must be feeling...you felt awful for it.

Billy lifted your hand just as Mr. Eaton had done, pressing his lips briefly to it. "Ma'am." You were reminded of the night you'd met, and it made you feel even worse. For a moment you wondered if Billy would say something to Henry, but that thought was dismissed as soon as it arrived. Billy was a gentleman-more so than those who wore suits and mingled in high society. He wouldn't even think of it.

During dinner you could hardly eat a bite, so riddled with guilt and apprehension. What would he say to you once he got you alone? Would he be angry? Sad? Glad to have a reason to be rid of you?

He got up to find the washroom, and after a few minutes, you stood up too. Hardly anybody noticed, and Henry just waved a hand when you whispered your excuse to him.

You caught Billy just as he was exiting to come back to dinner, pulling him into a nearby room. With wide eyes, he whispered, knowing they'd be able to hear if you were too loud. "You're engaged?"

"Yes," you managed, looking up into his eyes. "I am. I'm sorry, I should have told you-"

"I've gotten in the way of another man," Billy's hands found your shoulders, the roughness of his hands not relieving like they usually were. "Pretty...that ain't right. You shoulda said somethin'."

"I'm so sorry," you breathed, feeling like you were going to cry. "I just...being with you felt so good. I didn't want it to end." It sounded selfish, you knew it, and you saw how it manifested on Billy's face.

He pursed his lips, looking away. "I'm sorry too." You stared at the ground as his boots clomped away, trying desperately not to cry. The whole situation had gotten out of hand, and now you'd lost the one bright spot in your life.

Somehow you managed to compose yourself enough to go back in and sit down, not remembering to smile until your mother whispered a harsh reminder.

Henry put his arm around your shoulders, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek, and it took all you had not to grimace. Stiffly, you let him touch you, his hand wandering down to your hip, to your bottom. He squeezed and you gasped, causing him to laugh.

He was humiliating you. In front of a stranger, in front of your parents, in front of... you could feel Billy watching you, but you didn't look at him.

Unfortunately Henry's hands did not stop there, and they slid up close to your breast-

That living room kiss, the way he'd told you there were no other options.

You stood suddenly, causing everyone to stare, but effectively removing his hand from where you didn't want it. Your chest was heaving with the sudden recollection, as well as everyone's eyes on you. It had been a knee-jerk reaction, and you hadn't thought about the consequences because there was no time to think.

"Pardon me," you said, your voice breathy. "I just..." as your eyes wandered you caught sight of your mother glaring at you. Your father wore a similar expression. You thought of all they'd done for you, how much they wanted this to work.

Sinking back into your chair, you softly said, "Headache."

Mr. Eaton gave you an odd look, but nothing was said. You still couldn't bring yourself to look at Billy.

The night concluded shortly thereafter. You pulled yourself together and said goodbye to Mr. Eaton, hardly noticing his wandering eyes this time. Then you moved to Billy, and the tears you'd held back so well for the whole night threatened to make an appearance again when you saw the way he was looking at you.

His blue eyes didn't hold anger like you thought they would. You only could make out a protective edge, and care, concern.

Leaning in, he kissed your hand once more. You politely bid him farewell, and he nodded, his expression unchanging.

After the door shut, Henry took your arm before you could flee, and your mother wandered into the other room. Your father had long since disappeared, leaving you defenseless. At least with a crowd your fiancé couldn't do too much damage.

"You're lucky you remembered your manners." Henry's grip on your arm was already too tight.

"I had a headache, I'm sorry," you said quietly, not feeling like fighting back. "It will not happen again."

"I wish I could believe it." When you looked up at him, his expression was dangerous. Henry leaned in, a piece of hair falling into his eyes. It only served to make him look madder. In both mind and demeanor. He laughed when he saw how afraid you looked. "Look at you. One word and you're shaking."

Clenching your jaw, you lifted your chin. Now that things were over with Billy, you were forced to accept that this would be your life. Catering to the whims of a man who did not love you the way anyone wanted to be loved. There was nobody to rescue you. "You touched me like that in front of strangers. In front of my parents." Although your voice was soft, your words were clear, and you were proud of yourself. "We're not even married yet-"

In a single motion, Henry pushed you, sending you smashing against the wall and crumpling to the floor. You let out a cry, but of course nobody came to your aid. And you were reminded painfully again of how alone you were.

You couldn't help it. The tears escaped your eyes. Your head was bowed, a strand of hair escaping your updo and falling into your line of vision. Your whole body ached, not just from his shove, but from all the emotion coursing through your veins. It had been inside for so long.

His shoes appeared before you, and a finger tilted your chin up. You knew you looked pathetic, and you knew he thought so too.

"The law may not dictate it," he said in a sharp whisper, his eyes nuclear. "But you are my wife in practice until the wedding. That means you respect and obey. Is that clear?"

"Yes." You met his eyes because you knew he wanted you to.

He released your chin, and your head bowed again, staring at the two little dark marks on your skirt from your teardrops. The sound of his shoes nearly made you flinch as he walked away. You didn't look up until you heard the front door open and shut.

Burying your face in your hands, you resisted a scream. Your nails dug into the skin around your eyes. You wanted to claw them out. But then you wouldn't be able to see him coming.

You didn't even want to see the marks that were surely forming from this incident. But you knew your knees would be bruised from falling, and probably your back and forearms from hitting the wall. At least you wouldn't have to cover them up for Billy.

Billy.

The thought sending you over the edge, you drew your knees to your chest, sunk your face into them and cried.

In the morning, you got up and saddled your horse out of instinct, only hesitating slightly when you remembered Billy wouldn't be joining you. Still, you pressed forward, figuring the ride would clear your head even if you didn't get to see him. You knew you would probably never see him again for anything like this.

As you readied your horse, however, you heard the unmistakable sound of hooves in the distance. Looking up, you immediately recognized that silhouette.

Billy stopped a little distance away, and he lifted his hand in a wave, motioning for you to come over.

You didn't want to, sure that this would only lead to more guilt now that the two of you weren't being watched. But it was Billy. And you wanted a chance to explain. So, you left your horse in the stables and ran over, holding the skirts of your simple dress out of your way. At least now you felt back to normal, in your clothing of choice with your hair loose.

He didn't dismount when you came up to him, much to your surprise. Instead, he held out a hand. "C'mon sunshine. Wanna show ya somethin'."

"Should I get my horse?" you asked, looking back at the stables.

"No need, I'll have ya back in no time," he flexed the fingers of his hand. "Hop on up."

You mounted, sitting in front of him with your back snug against his warm chest. The morning air was slightly chilly, so it was welcome.

Billy got the horse moving, keeping one arm secured around you as he guided it wherever he was taking you. The trees surrounding were familiar, but it felt too good to be back up close to him to really pay attention. Only when he stopped the horse at a recognizable little cabin smack in the middle of a clearing did you realize.

Trying to look around at him, you said, "Billy-?"

He dismounted and set his hands on your waist, lifting you off the horse and setting you on your feet. Then without a word he took your hand and led you up the porch steps holding the door open so you could go inside. He followed in behind you.

It was clear someone had spent time here, done some work to clean it up. The floor was no longer dusty, and the cobwebs in the corners had vanished. You saw a stove against the wall and a few blankets folded on the opposite side. Turning to Billy, you looked at him in astonishment.

He settled against the wall by the blankets and spread his legs out in front of him, patting his thigh. "C'mere, angel."

Was this a trap? A build up to horrible news? You paused before you moved toward him, your mind weighed with those very thoughts. But he didn't look upset, so you went to him, sitting on his legs. He adjusted you, pulling one knee so it was on his other side, effectively making you straddle him.

Putting his hands on your waist, he rubbed his fingers up and down. "Relax. Everything's okay." At his words you visibly calmed down. When he deemed it the right time, he picked up your hands, holding them between you and reminding you of the first time you came here.

"Look at me, yeah?" he only continued when your eyes lifted to his. "Last night was surprising. Ya realize that, right?"

You nodded, immediately going into apology mode. "I'm so sorry Billy. I thought about telling you so many times, but I didn't know how and-"

"It's okay," he soothed, squeezing your hand. "I understand." Then, his face fell slightly, and he lowered your hands to rest on your thighs. "Do ya love him?"

"No." The answer was immediate. You didn't even think about it. "I've never loved him. Not even for a second."

Billy looked relieved, but then he frowned, his hands going back to your waist with the same slow motions. Up and down. It was like he was trying to keep you calm. "Why're ya marryin' him then, sweetheart?"

Taking a deep breath in, you told him the story of what had happened in your family's drawing room in Atlanta. He listened intently with a serious expression on his face, and when you were done, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering on your cheek. You could see him putting the pieces together, practically hear him remembering the day he'd touched you in the same place and you'd recoiled. "I'm so sorry that happened to ya, honey."

"I've learned to live with it." You leaned into his hand, nuzzling your cheek slightly against it. Even after everything you were still touch-starved, still hanging onto every second your skin was against his. "I didn't have a choice."

He seemed to understand through the way he thumbed up and down your cheek, and the way he looked at you. Then, nodding a little, he raised his other hand to hold the opposite cheek. "I love you."

The words caused an explosion of warmth in your chest. You searched his eyes, not really needing to make sure he was serious, but doing it out of habit. Lifting your hand to his, you whispered, "I love you too."

Billy leaned forward and kissed you, soft and gentle and sweet. He leaned his forehead against yours when your lips parted and used both his hands to smooth your hair behind your shoulders. A little smile came to his face.

"I didn't know if it was the right time to say before. But last night when I saw ya with him...saw the way he treated you..." Billy's eyes darkened. Then he stroked your cheek again. "Those bruises from the first time we came here-" his other hand came to that wrist, and he looked at it as if expecting to find them still there. "Did he do that to you?"

You nodded and his jaw clenched. "Did he do anything last night?"

Another nod. Billy exhaled softly. "Where?"

Not wanting to hide anything from him ever again, you pulled your long sleeves up so he could see the darkening bruises on your forearms. He touched them gingerly. "This the only place?"

Taking his hand in yours, you guided it to your back, sliding it up and down the affected area once. Billy looked horrified. "That whole spot?"

It seemed all you could do right now was nod. At that, he gently wrapped his arms around you, hugging you close to him, but not too tight, likely for fear of disturbing your injuries. He kissed your cheek, then your shoulder, one of his hands holding the back of your head to him. "Oh, baby."

He just held you to him for a long while, and you felt a huge weight lift off your shoulders. You weren't the only one who knew. You weren't the only one who cared. Whatever love you'd had before expanded until you didn't think it could fill your body anymore.

Billy kept his arms loosely wound around your waist as he looked at you, nodding his head at the space the two of you were in. "Ya see this? 'S all for us, angel. I came in and fixed it up so we could have a place...away from everythin'...and everyone."

You threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly and he chuckled a little but returned it. Even though he had laughed at you it didn't feel like it did when Henry did. With Billy, you knew it was pure delight.

Pulling back from him, you realized something, and your face fell again. "But Billy...I only have ten months until I have to marry him."

He looked at you determinedly. "That means we have ten months to figure how we're gonna getcha outta there."