Why Did No-one Tell Me How Hard It Is To Write Smut. I Keep Cringing. Why Do I Find The Word Cock Funny.

why did no-one tell me how hard it is to write smut. i keep cringing. why do i find the word cock funny. why does ‘Namjoon’ keep autocorrecting to banjo. my head hurts.

anyways, there should be a new update in a couple of days! kiss kiss

that time kim taehyung walked his way into everyone's hearts (again)

Relax, It’s Our Honeymoon! - Three Point Five

Masterlist

Description: You and BTS are in a poly relationship, and have recently gotten married. It’s time for your honeymoon!

I apply a final layer of lipgloss, deciding that I've finished getting ready after I glance in the mirror. I purse my lips together, looking myself up and down in the mirror with a smirk.

"You look gorgeous, babygirl." I see Jimin appear behind me in the mirror, a smile curved on his lips. I run my eyes over him, cooing softly at his awkward positioning.

"You look hotter, Chim. Is everyone ready?" I've spun around to face him properly now. The entire room is messy, clothes strewn on this spare bed and makeup all over the vanity, but Jimin doesn't seem to care. He's wearing a pair of tight black jeans, pairing with his iconic Chelsea boots and a white button-up. I can guarantee the boys are dressed in a similar way, it's their go-to outfit for more formal events. The shirt is unbuttoned near the top, teasing his collarbone but showing the full expanse of his chest. His face is like mine, with minimal makeup and a pretty gloss. Whilst mine is tinted a pinky colour, his is a sparkly clear that makes his lips look even prettier than normal.

I run my right hand up his arm, showering him with compliments and cooing when his face blushes a little with my praise.

"We're nearly finished. Jin-hyung's finishing up on his outfit and Tae's been trying to style his hair for the past twenty minutes." I let him lead me out of one of the spare rooms and into the lounge, where nearly all of the boys are located. They're leaning all over the furniture, some eyeing themselves up in the reflection of their phones to make last minute changes.

"You boys look so good! It's a shame we're not actually going anywhere." I pout, stomping my heeled foot onto the floor. They all turn and look where Jimin and I are standing, smirks and shocked looks on their faces.

"We do scrub up really good, don't we?" Hoseok's acting cocky, a little smirk on his face as he strokes Jungkook's bouncing leg.

"The food should be here soon. I'm gonna set the table." Namjoon gets up from the other side of Jungkook, stopping in-front of Jimin and I. He strokes Jimin's cheek, lightly pecking him on the lips before turning to me and doing the same. Jimin follows after Namjoon, and I sit myself down on a lone armchair, watching as Yoongi looks me up and down with a small smile. After a few minutes, Taehyung enters the room, hair crimped and fluffy. He sends a large smile to everyone, throwing himself down on the an empty sofa, hair barely moving an inch.

"How much hairspray did you use, Tae? The whole bottle?!" Jin's screech carries itself across the entire chalet, Tae running to hide while everyone else barks out a laugh.

———

"Come on, honey. Let's get you clean." I run my fingers through Joon's hair, gently wiping at the sauce on the side of his mouth. He got a little tipsy, which means he got even clumsier, and ended up getting more sauce and noodles on his person than in his mouth. It's a little cute, his eyes clouded over and face messy, almost like a baby. He mumbles something back, but it just sounds like gibberish. Holding out my hand, I help him stand up. The others sit and watch us, goofy and sleepy smiles on their faces. Jimin fell asleep a little while ago, laid across Taehyung's lap, who's unable to move. I let him lean some of his weight against me, escorting him to the bathroom with the largest bathtub, there was no chance of him staying upright in the shower tonight.

He carries on sleepily mumbling, sat on the closed toilet seat while I begin to run the bath, incredibly thankful that bath bombs and bath gel was provided.

"Joonie? Do you want to pick?" I hold out two bath bombs to make it easier on him, his eyes blinking tiredly at me as he ignores them. Instead, he just smiles and begins to strip. His head gets stuck in the hole however, so I just deposit the blue one into the water and try to help him, avoiding his flailing arms where needed.

Surprisingly, he manages to get into the bathtub by himself without any injury. He just plops himself into the bubbly blue water, some splashing up the sides of the tub and a little onto my outfit.

"Darling? You coming in?" Namjoon's sat fully up, a sponge in one hand and the other draped along the side of the tub. I shake my head with a smile, giggling at his pout and attempt at puppy eyes.

"Please? Pretty please?"

"Maybe tomorrow, Joonie. Gotta get you clean, I can still see some stew on your collarbone." I grab the sponge from his hand, making sure to clean his chest and any lingering sauces left behind. I can feel his eyes on me, but I continue nonetheless. I'm not getting into a hot bath with him, naked, especially with how drunk he is. Husband or not, he's not in his right mind. The silence in the bathroom stops when he begins to hum a tune which I don't recognise. Probably a beat he's been sneaking off to work on with Yoongi. They think I don't notice them sneaking off and hiding behind their computers. Silly men.

I let him continue with cleaning himself after a while, leaving to pick up his dirty clothes and grab some clean ones for him to sleep in; nothing special, just some underwear, shorts and shirt. By the time I come back, he's emptied the bathtub and starting to dry himself off. I send a smile his way, putting the clean clothes on the closed toilet seat and stepping closer for a small peck. I feel him smile through the kiss, sending a dopey look at me when we disconnect.

"Night, Joon. Sleep tight." I coo, giving him another short kiss before making my way towards the bedroom to unravel for the night and finally go to sleep. But first, skincare.

Taglist: @effielumiere @ah2002

no u 🥺🥺

Half way through chapter 2 of Bon Voyage and at 7k already 😭. I'm writing it much quicker than I thought! I might even be able to update by this weekend! (don't quote me on that 👀)

I'm getting excited now, so here's a sneak peek before my inevitable existential crisis of second guessing everything right before I post.

“Ugh! I hate you!” You shove against his chest, pushing him off balance, and Yoongi’s grip on you has you falling forward onto his hard frame. You dig your fingernails into the bite mark you left on him.

Yoongi is reaching his limit. The searing pain of his bruise makes him yell, “I fucking can’t stand you!” He seethes, his hand fisting into your hair, pulling you away, throwing your body into the wet sand. Your body, not used to the cold ocean like Yoongi, is shivering against him, the white fabric clinging to your chest might as well not even be there, because Yoongi’s sharp eyes can see everything, even the goosebumps that speckle your cold body, and the sight of you threatens to unravel him as much as your never ending belligerent attitude.

I think my favorite thing to do now is writing my characters hate loving each other. Or is it love hating?

since my (un)official wife @yoongsisbae decided to bless my weekend, i’m doing the same.

here he is. The Boy. 🧍

couldn’t handle the overall sexiness that is bts and me combined 😤

for u <3

Lmao why was this blocked 😭😭😭

Tumblr scared me, it’s too early in the morning for that 😪😪