Kind Of A More In Depth Mental Health Update/explanation/talk Thingy..

Kind of a more in depth mental health update/explanation/talk thingy..

Who wants to read a fucking essay?

[wow, did this become the longest ramble ever or what? I promise I'm sober. It really doesn't look like it though.]

TW: talk about mental health, depression, suicidal thoughts (and getting help.)

So.. Think it's fair to say it's been pretty obvious I've been really low lately. I'd say I'm pretty used to that by now. I have a lot of issues and I've been falling down these holes my entire life. But apparently I still don't really see what's going on until I'm so deep in it that I can't climb out on my own anymore. However this time I really fucking faceplanted down the depression hole harder and faster than ever before. And this last month has been just.. wow.

A couple of weeks ago I caught myself casually daydreaming about finally fucking ending it all in very grafic detail and not until then did I realize I've been thinking about this for quite some time now without even noticing it.. and it fucking scared the shit out of me tbh. I know I can't trust myself with thoughts like that. Not at all.

I guess it wasn't until that point that I saw just how out of hand all of this had gotten. And I just wanted to let y'all know that I am aware. I've reached out to mental health proffessionals in my area.. yada, yada. They know me well by now and shit's in motion. I've been here before, I've done this before, I can do it again. I fucking got this.. [Peptalk]

Also, I do have people around me that are willing to help. I might not have a lot of close friends but the few crazy fuckers I do have I love and trust more than anything in this world. They're the kind of people I can be myself around and talk to about anything. And if I would ever need someone to be here [although I would never ask for help cause I'm an idiot] I know they would drop everything and be outside the door in about 20 minutes. If that's not a safetynet then I don't fucking know what is.. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them. That's a fact.

By the way, I know I've been posting a lot of dark thought lately and I really need to check myself on that point.. It's just not okay. I don't want to drag any of you down with me and frankley I doesn't do me any good to dwell in it either. So I'm really sorry about that..

However I might post some interactive thoughts/questions about mental health cause I really find the psychology aspect of it all very interesting and I get really curious about how other people experience and handle their issues.. I will hide all that behind a "read more" and a TW for those not interested in participating tho.

I will shut the fuck up now. I just need I need to say thanks to you guys first.. [I now this is gonna sound so goddamn cheezy but I don't really give a shit.] You have no idea how much you've helped me keep my head above the surface and my feet on the ground these last couple of months with all your amazing creations, shitposting, reblogs, hilarious fucking comments, sweetest worlds of encuragement and DMs. I can't belive I've only had this accound for like.. 2 ½ months? [Holy shit.] I feel so fucking happy to have been introduced to every single one of y'all. You really are the nicest, funniest, bonkers bunch of peeps ever. If I'd known that earlier I would have joined this community a looong time ago and I hope I get the chance to interact with a lot more of you over time.

So to the ones that I actually talk with on here, thank you, really. I love you. For real tho. 🖤 [Cringefest. Still don't care.] And to the ones lurking around and on occation likes a post. I see you, I know you're here. I love you to, remember that.

I hope all of you know you can talk to me whenever, and about whatever. Funny, stupid, mundane or serious. If not, then I'm telling you now that you can. I don't have any good answeres for anything, but I'm happy to just listen if needed. Take care of yourselves and each other. You're amazing.

// BlackNoise over and out 🖤

"Yep.."

[Just looked like he said "yep" so.. I actually have a pair of sunglasses just like these and now I really feel like I should start wearing them more.. also might fr order some t-shirts. I fucking need these in my life.]

Shirt by @slfj-creative 🖤

My brain got to roam freely again, so this is where we ended up.. Lol.

Thank you @dirtywratsimz for the link to the shirt prints.. 😆 I had fun.

Love it! 👏👏🖤

I have been sick for a week almost but now that I have my computer back it will just give me more time for Sims! This is a hoodie ( @dissiasims recolor) I will be posting later this week

When they moan straight into your fucking ear tho.. 🤤💦