I Hope To One Day Write A Story As Good As This Motherfucker Cause God-DAMN

I hope to one day write a story as good as this motherfucker cause god-DAMN—

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

Ok we've all kinda laughed at the idea of Paul Matthews: Anxious Man being in the neighborhood watch, and yeah, I think he would be bad at it most of the time- but consider:

In TGWDLM he is the first one to realize the Hive's infection, says "something sinister is infecting Hatchetfield.... Turning everything into a musical" -and he was right!

In Black Friday he doesn't like the Wiggly jingle and say the it feels like "the whole world is under a spell" -and he was right again!

Also iirc he told Bill someone died at watcher world, which I guess is like a warning?

I guess I'm just saying that Paul has successfully and immediately picked up on the Lords in Black's bad vibes before any other characters not already in the know. For whatever it's worth. He's good at being neighborhood watch guy for eldritch demons only.

ahahaha what if we kissed but we were both batshit insane, wreaked divine vengeance and had parallel religious motifs