My Friend Told Me This Today And Im Actually Fucking Heartbroken What The Fuck

my friend told me this today and i’m actually fucking heartbroken what the fuck

my pal madiecookie on Twitter let me steal this absolutely cursed concept to bring you My Meowther, My Meowther and Me(owth)

you told me I can be extra/ordinary

[Video description: Sydnee McElroy opening a door to the bathroom of a hotel room. Inside is Justin, blowdrying a piece of cheesecake. He smiles and continues to do so, accidentally blowing a plastic fork into the sink. Sydnee motions for him to stop and says “You want to explain what you’re doing here?” Justin replies “The cheesecake’s frozen.” Sydnee starts to say something, but is cut off by Justin restarting the hairdryer.]

justin what the ever living fuck

funniest statements from the magnus archives in no particular order: 

spiders, but they hate you personally

that one guy who was paid to keep a clearly fucked up coffin in his living room and just decided to fucking ignore the weird shit. (king)

band that is so bad at music that you die

a pile of worms stole my phone and texted my coworkers

man who admits he killed another man because he had a spooky vampire name

guy who felt the need to just dunk on this one guy for 10 minutes because he was a shitty drug mule. he also got his bones stolen. this is only mentioned at the very end.

twink with knife hands (cool)

Two random men walked in and stole my shipping company

fucked up monsters taking an anatomy class but are very polite and on time so its cool and sort of endearing. 

jon talking about how he has childhood trauma about an evil spider monster. only funny because i’m binge listening to this podcast and last week listened to him make fun of how stupid the idea of an evil spider monster is

bone stealing man shows up again and opens a gym to help people get fucking shredded. 

the plumber who shows up to the middle of a creepy monster circus in the middle of the night, looks at the pipes overflowing with blood, goes “there’s your problem” and just fucking pulls out a mass of flesh and then…leaves.

they literally just let him leave 

monsters have to invite him back to try and kill him again because he was so unfazed the first time

Ok. Who wants to see him? I need to know.