Queenofdarkestshadows:

queenofdarkestshadows​: 

Was that what she wanted? Darklin’s ‘love’? His approval, his appreciation…the honourable place by his side…but love? To be honest, she doubted she believed in such term at all, because from a place she came from love only made you spiteful, mean and broken. She would NEVER like to become her mother. ❝Love is for fools and beauty fades…power, however, is what keeps up going. I don’t seek his love, foolish Genya, I have plenty men to throw love around me. I am truthful to my country and I have proven myself enough to not be sold to be used as a weapon.❞ Zoya knew she was being unfairly harsh, but she was hurting and she wanted others to feel the same.

What was a bit unusual was that Zoya did not say she was truthful to her General…but to Ravka.

❛ I’m not as foolish as you think i am, Zoya. I know i’m a weapon. ❜ Genya said, meeting Zoya’s stormy orbs from across the room. We all are, she whispered inwardly. And the redhead thought she was done with the dark-haired beauty but something in her words had caught her attention. I’m truthful to my country, Zoya had said. Not to her General, not to the Darkling. To her country. Perhaps the squaller wasn’t such a lost cause after all. Perhaps she wasn’t as blinded by the Darkling’s charms as the rest of his protégés. Amber eyes narrowed, she crossed the room to the brunette, studying her with a newfound interest. ❛ I have underestimated you, Zoya Nazyalensky. ❜ She whispered, a smile playing about her red painted lips.    

@defendrelor

They had failed. Mayu Kir-Kaat never failed and yet there she was, in a wheelchair, recovering from their own failure. As a Tavgharad, as kebben and a friend of Ehri. She was in the king’s sitting room, waiting, while their princess was with King Nikolai in his office, discussing the formalities for their wedding. The word itselft stung more than expected. It was her fault that Ehri was getting married off to the king of Ravka. If they hadn’t failed, distracted by their feelings for the presumed king and target, Ehri would be free. She would be on her way to the countryside as a normal girl living her commoner dream of teaching music to kids. Sure, Ehri would’ve still not been hers but they were never meant to be anyway. And, in death, Mayu would’ve been free of the pain and she would’ve rest knowing Reyem, their twin brother, was free from the khergud program. Now, there was no telling what was gonna happen to him. Isaak was on the other side of the room and Mayu hadn’t taken a look in his direction. It was the first time they were coming face to face since the assassination attempt. She couldn’t bare looking at him in the eyes and face the truth of what she had done to an innocent, to someone they could’ve loved. She shook her head to shake that thought. The silence was becoming too heavy and so she had decided to break it with a sigh. ❛ Saints! How long does it take to settle on a centerpiece? ❜ They said, the irritation clear in their voice. 

defendrelor​:

NIKOLAI’S HAND at the base of his neck was a welcomed source of comfort as Isaak indulged in the utter proximity of the tsar to him. They’d had their fair share of moments like that, neither of them knowing how far to go, how far to stay away, both longing to be in each other’s vicinity. It had been different when he’d almost died. He’d clung to Nikolai, tears staining his face, blood welling over his lips as he called his name over and over in a pain and fear induced haze. He’d been beyond terrified. Beyond afraid of falling. Letting go. GIVING IN TO THE DARKNESS that had threatened to pull him under.

Isaak had barely gotten any rest at all in the past days. He was antsy, on edge, irritable far beyond usual. The fact that they wouldn’t let him sleep in his own room but in the infirmary, under the watchful eyes of the few healers on duty. This was the first time he’d been allowed to leave - and only because it had been the KING’S ORDER.

Ehri was INNOCENT, the very mention of the princess caused the knots in his stomach to tighten. HEARTBREAK and DAGGERS were the only two things that came to his mind when he thought of her. Upon feeling Nikolai’s warm hand on his chest a memory flooded his mind.

Isaak remembered waking up, that very hand on his chest, ungloved, dark veins running up the light skin. He hadn’t flinched for a moment, even if the pain in his chest had been unbearable. Rarely ever let he see anyone what the demon, the merzost, had done to him. EXHAUSTED, the tsar had looked exhausted and BROKEN. Isaak hadn’t understood it then but he did now. They were much closer than a king and guard should be. Isaak found no flaw in it, couldn’t, because he cared about Nikolai.

He cared about Mayu, too. Probably too much, otherwise he wouldn’t be standing here.

Nikolai’s touch had faded but Tolya had scurried over to wrap a massive arm around his shoulder and STEADY him. He wouldn’t have put it beyond the man to carry him.

The Eagle’s Nest, the dining room most commonly used by the tsar, with its gold laced tapesteries and the giant Ravkan double eagle frieze on the ceiling, was a sight to behold, even after seeing it for more times than he could count.

❝ Hopefully they won’t serve us any jellies today.❞

Mayu felt a sharp pain in her forearm, right before the King let them go and be escorted out of the sitting room. Another guard took care of Isaak while Tolya suddenly decided to remain behind with the king. Two guards were escorting Mayu out and into the dinning room, one of them pushing her wheelchair. Once the Tsar was out of sight, Mayu looked down to their arm and frowned. Something seemed to have pricked her skin. The puncture wound seemed to have been made by a nail. A VERY SHARP NAIL.

It can’t be, Mayu thought. The king was wearing gloves. There was no way a simple nail could cut through the fabric of the gloves AND the sleeve of her Tavgharad uniform. Then, she thought back to how uneasy she felt as he leaned over them back in the sitting room. She could swear he’d looked like a PREDATOR, enjoying the smell of fear coming from his prey. Mayu didn’t scare easily but, in this moment, she was glad Isaak would be the judge of her actions. And then, she’d blinked and the witty and charming Tsar was back. The shift had been sudden. So much so the Tavgharad had wondered if they’d imagined it all. But that pain was very much REAL. That puncture wound as well. They’d quickly rolled down their sleeve at Isaak’s words. ❛ I swear on the Six Soldiers, if they try to feed me any more jellies, they’re gonna regret bringing me back to life. ❜ She said as the guards pushed her wheelchair into the other room. 

When they entered the luxurious dinning room, food was quick to arrive. There were even some Shu dishes. Mayu had even spotted her favorite. And there was more than enough for three people, which meant Nikolai had known all along the two would accept to have dinner with him… or that he didn’t mind wasting food. Mayu decided that the first option was more suitable for a Tsar as brilliant and considerate as Nikolai Lantsov. The Too-Clever Fox still hadn’t joined them though. So, they waited and waited…AND WAITED. And after about fifteen minutes of waiting in complete silence and eyeing their favorite dish on the table, Mayu’s stomach growled, LOUD. She flushed, bringing a hand to their hungry belly. ❛ ——Will the king be joining us soon? ❜ the Tavgharad asked, hesitantly, looking at a guard standing in the corner of the room. No response. Though a quick look around let her know that all the guards in the room were exchanging looks. They’re confused. They don’t know why the king is taking so long. Mayu’s brown eyes suddenly fell on ISAAK, silently asking Do you know what’s going on?

defendrelor​:

Isaak was TENSE , his whole posture displaying his discomfort. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be this close to his almost assassin , even if they’d believed him to be his king. Somehow it was even worse that way , he thought . HOW should he ever forgive someone who tried to kill his Tsar? Isaak had always respected Nikolai , he had done so much for him and his family , he could never repay the favor. He couldn’t forget how SOFT her lips had felt on his before the pain of having a dagger shoved into his heart had numbed his mind . What he would give to kiss them again , passionately , truly , without a murderous intent on her side.

Their gazes averted as Tolya intervened . For a moment Isaak contemplated saying something , anything , to garner her attention . A flick of a hand , a slight pressure on his chest , the heartrender adjusted his racing pulse to a more stable rhythm .

His head felt fuzzy , heavy and he had trouble dragging his eyes over onto something else .

ANYTHING to not look at them. His glance found the guards , impassive , silent and he began musing in his head again. Nonchalant things. He’d served with many of the royal guards but standing at attention at the door just opposite from him was the most familiar.

Trukhin.

A friend. A brother in arms. One of the few people he still dared putting his trust in , for the many nights spend at each other’s side , keeping watch .

They sat like that for a while , utterly quiet , utterly awkward and then -

❝ The king told you to stay , so there is a point in staying , isn’t there ? ❞

Isaak scoffed at the blatant show of disrespect for his Tsar. Orders were orders , Shu or not , they’d learned as much in the military .

❝ Why do you think I am here , hm ? What could possibly involve both of us, Tavgharad ? ❞

Your TRIAL . My JUSTICE . Our FALL .

❛ Nikolai Lantsov is no king of mine. ❜ Mayu replied without a second thought. The tension in their body doubling as a surge of anger came rushing to the surface. He’d called her Tavgharad as if it was an insult. They glared at him, trying to summon all the hate in her frame but when their gaze met his again, she felt a wave of guilt. Her heart squeezed at the feeling and they averted their eyes once more.  The tension in the room was palpable. Until then, Tolya had remained quiet and composed. But, just like Isaak, he wasn’t gonna let Mayu Kir-Kaat disrespect his king so blatantly without saying anything.  ❛ He will be when Princess Ehri becomes his Queen. Need I remind you that you stay at the Grand Palace by his grace, that otherwise you’d be rotting in a cell? Perhaps a little gratitude is in order. ❜  ❛ She will never be his queen. ❜ The determination in her voice, like a knife to a throat.  ❛ What they’re discussing behind those doors says otherwise. ❜  ❛ There’s still plenty of time before the wedding. ❜ Mayu argued, eyes fixated on the closed doors as if she could burst it open using only her mind.  ❛ This sounds like a threat to me, Mayu Kir-Kaat. Doesn’t it, Isaak? ❜ Tolya’s gold eyes turned to the recovering guard. The heartrender didn’t look threatened at all. In fact, he looked amused at the obstinate Tavgharad and that only angered the latter more. ❛ Take it as you wish, for all i care. I’m done waiting.❜ She strolled away in her wheelchair. No one seemed to stop her and then suddenly she felt her blood pressure drop and the world spun around them. Ugh. Curse the Heartrender. 

The double doors to the King’s office opened, revealing Nikolai, his golden hair, clever hazel eyes and dazzling grin. Princess Ehri stood next to him, a polite smile painted her lips but the light in her toffee brown orbs was nowhere to be found. The poor thing looked miserable inside Who could blame her? After all, she was a hostage in a foreign country. Mayu wanted to punch King Charming’s grin away.  ❛ I’m all yours now. But i won’t discuss such serious matters as trials on an empty stomach. ❜ Nikolai declared. ❛ Would you care to join me? My invitation extends to both of you, of course. ❜ He added, hazel hues going from Isaak to Mayu to Isaak again. ❛ Unless you don’t want to be in each other’s presence any longer than necessary. Which would be totally understandable, considering. ❜

queenofdarkestshadows​: 

Zoya set her jaw, her blue eyes fixing on Genya with that casually murderous glare, she loved to offer people around her. But it was gone as soon as it came, and she actually smiled at Genya. ❝I know how to use a heart and how to break one with my beauty..and not to be broken because of it. Maybe if you weren’t so naïve with your accomplishments you could learn a trick or two. ❞ The raven girl flickers her fingers, sending a light breeze of wind to ruffle her locks for an additional effect of her already mesmerising beauty.

Genya stood, silent, in the doorway. Oh, the redhead knew a lot about beauty and how to wield it as a weapon. She’d laced her lips, her skin with poison, feeding it to the king. The one who’d taken her innocence and so many nights of her life. But of course, Zoya and the other Grisha didn’t know the whole truth. The only knew her as the Queen’s pet and the King’s whore. The Darkling had been her only friend until David but, even then, David didn’t know the full extent of what went on behind closed doors. Alina had been a friend too ,more recently. Friends don’t lie to each other, said a little voice in her head. Don’t fool yourself. None of it was real. She shook her head, focusing on Zoya again. ❛ I’m not the fragile doll you’ve met years ago, Zoya. I’ve grown but, most of all, i’ve learned. You pride yourself for being his favorite but let me tell you something... No amount of power will get you his LOVE, darling. Love cannot be bought or taken. It is given, freely.❜     

defendrelor​:

ISAAK COULD FEEL his heart rate drop out of nowhere , drawing in a panicked gasp , his eyes wide and slightly unfocused as he failed to regain his composure . Fear flooded his senses , the shirt underneath his military coat sweated through by now - he hadn’t been ready to face Mayu again , not under such circumstances .

Then Nikolai was there - he was always there when he needed him - a soothing hand on his shoulder , his own palm pressed against the tsar’s chest instead of the wall now , feeling the steady rhythm of his heart pounding away underneath his fingertips . His face flushed slightly , not only from the strain of standing upright and pushing his own wounded body to the very edge of its current capabilities.

BREATHE WITH HIM he did , deep , slow , inhales , a pause and then an exhale , shuddering but there . His gaze finally lifted, brown meeting hazel and he couldn’t help but soften .

They’d been through worse , they’d witnessed the HORRORS OF HALMHEND , they’d fought and bled and suffered , freezed and starved , shivered from the sheer cold and shook from terrible fevers . They were still here . There was still time to make things right . One step at a time , Isaak would claim JUSTICE . He just had to listen . Pay attention to her words , from an opinion . Saints , he hated it already . He was good at following orders , not giving them. In the first army , he’d never achieved a rank above private first class - no wonder - and here he was a Captain . A decorated officer . Sometimes he wondered if Nikolai had expected too much of him . If he should pack his things and return to his family . Live of taking on errand jobs .

The Grand palace was his home now , the tsar had said as much and yet Isaak couldn’t help but feel so out of place ever since his brush with death . Was it a normal process? Did he need time to overcome his newly aquired trauma ? Likely . Still the doubts wouldn’t fade .

❝ spasibo… spasibo…❞

It was all he was able to mutter , to tell him . Saints, he was grateful , so entirely grateful to be allowed to leave should the urge arise . Lest he’d collapse during dinner , an experience he’d rather not explore the depths of .

What was between him and Nikolai anyway ? After Dominik’s death , the lines had blurred . He recalled fleeting touches, glances, gestures but Isaak was to shy to point them out . To return them in a way that would have been fitting for a king . So here he was , with his hand on his tsar’s chest, contemplating his entire existence until this very moment. A MIRACLE or a TRAGEDY , he couldn’t tell really.

As long as Ehri was safe and sound , Mayu would accept their fate . Could they protect her from her sister or was it all just a farce? A veil of ignorance - until the next assassination attempt?

❝ I cannot promise you mercy.❞

The words were hoarse but pointedly sharper than he intended.

❝ But how can I know your princess has no ill intentions after all. I’m just a guard, protecting my king, I believe one stabbed heart is enough.❞

For a moment there, it felt like they were back in Halmhend, just the two of them, relying on each other. For survival, for COMFORT. Nikolai couldn’t afford losing another friend. Not after Dominik’s death. Not ever. He might’ve been a prince, a king-to-be, but he would’ve died a thousand times if it meant Isaak would make it home to his family. Sure, his friend wouldn’t have wanted him to but he didn’t care. If one of them was gonna make it home, it NEEDED to be Isaak. And that day Isaak almost died in his arms, trying to protect him, Nikolai felt like another part of himself was being TORN FROM HIM. The part that had somehow remained after Dominik’s passing. He felt like he couldn’t be the man he wished to be without either of them by his sides. But Isaak had survived, thank the Saints! And Nikolai had made sure he’d been well cared for, doing it himself. Offering him a place in the royal guard, making sure he was safe and to provide for his family. That was his way of saying I care and You’re important to me.

In this very moment, where Isaak’s brown eyes met his hazel, Nikolai wondered who was truly relying on whom. Isaak was probably thinking his Tsar was his ANCHOR right now but, truth is, the king sometimes found himself needing those TOUCHES. He needed the reassurance that Isaak was truly there, that he wasn’t just a mirage. That he was REAL and that the last few days where he’d been almost gone were behind them. They breathed together, deep, slow, Isaak’s hand on his chest, feeling his beating heart through layers of clothes, Nikolai’s thumb SOOTHING the skin where the man’s neck met the shoulder. Once Isaak had managed to calm down, enough to reply to Mayu’s, the king had let go but not all at once. His fingers brushing the skin as if to hold onto EVERY BIT OF HIM like Isaak Andreyev was but a phantom bound to disappear and that such disappearance would BREAK him beyond repair. 

Nikolai couldn’t judge Mayu fairly. He couldn’t because Isaak meant TOO MUCH to him. It was the second time the man had almost died in his arms. The Tsar held so much ANGER towards himself but some of it was directed at the Tavgharad that had wielded the blade, the one that had wounded Isaak’s heart, both physically and metaphorically. And the demon within him was FEEDING OFF those emotions, of that rage, that violence within, begging him to INDULGE in it. He’d slept terribly these past few days and he was very much grateful for Genya’s tailoring as well as the potions she and David were constantly working on to appease the DARKNESS inside. 

Mayu couldn’t help but think the scene unfolding before her eyes was very INTIMATE. Beyond the usual monarch/guard relationship. Beyond friendship. Mayu certainly had never been that close to Ehri but they most certainly WISHED to be. She caught Tolya’s gaze from across the room and wondered if the Heartrender also thought the same. How many of these encounters had he witnessed as a close friend to the king? Mayu actually felt GUILTY to spoil such an intimate moment with her upcoming tale. At Isaak’s words, their brown eyes found those of the man she’d almost killed. Her heart skipped a beat. A few seconds passed before they dared to speak. ❛ I will abide by your judgment, Isaak, whether it involves mercy or not. And I promise you, Ehri is innocent. My tale will prove it. I’m the only one to blame for following my Queen’s orders. ❜ 

It wasn’t entirely true. Ehri knew a lot but Mayu was willing to lie to PROTECT her princess, to assure her safety. Even if that meant they would be the one facing JUSTICE alone. Mayu knew they were taking a huge RISK, especially since they had no idea what Ehri had already told the king. Which was probably the reason why the two Shu weren’t allowed in the same room together without Tolya or Tamar and their constant shadowing. And for that, the Tavgharad had to admit Nikolai, under all those witty remarks and charms, was truly living up to that Too-Clever Fox reputation. Another satisfied grin spread across the King’s face, hazel eyes gleaming with… ANTICIPATION. Or was it HUNGER? He’s enjoying himself, Mayu thought. Enjoying this mind game. Perhaps even enjoying the thought of my demise... 

❛ This is the kind of DEVOTION we appreciate and honor in this palace, is it not? ❜ Nikolai said, patting Isaak’s chest, making sure not to put too much pressure on his healing wound before gesturing for Tolya to come help escort his friend into the royal dinner room. Then, he crossed the room to the Tavgharad and LEANED OVER her, both hands resting on the arms of the wheelchair and over Mayu’s arms already resting there. ❛ Very well then. We shall listen to your tale. I’ve heard a bit already but I'm looking forward to hearing your side of the story, Mayu Kir-Kaat. ❜