Queenofdarkestshadows:

queenofdarkestshadows​:

❝You are not just vain, but delusional as well, that is a pity. One more useless grisha potential.❞ Zoya was harsh, but was she honest? That was a secret she would prefer to keep to herself. She did not let her hand to immediately, after small hesitation, she let the hand drop down. Her blue eyes losing interest in this conversation. ❝I am holding no one. I have better thing to do anyway. I’m leaving tonight.❞ She mentioned the last part as a matter of fact, as if it was nothing out of usual. Zoya came and went a lot, but since all the happenings of Sun Summoner she was lingering around more, since Darkling did not give her a new assignment…not till today.

❝Try not to cry yourself to sleep, dear Genya. Not all of us can be so special.❞

Genya tilted her head to the other side, gazing at the brunette’s features as she held her wrist far longer than she’d expected. I’m leaving tonight, Zoya had said after she’d free her from her grasp. It sounded like she was talking about the weather. But Genya knew better. The redhead’s heart had skipped a beat. The Darkling is also leaving tonight. Could it be——  ❛ Did he found her? ❜ The urgency in the tailor’s voice would’ve stopped anyone dead in their tracks. She couldn’t have helped it. She cared about Alina. The girl had been so kind to her and, unlike Genya, Alina had been hundred pourcent genuine about it. As soon as the word came out of her mouth, she regretted them. Regretted to be a gentle heart in the middle of a war zone. As much as she was loyal to the Darkling, she still wished for Alina to have her freedom. No one deserved to be used as a weapon like the beauty had been since she was a child.    

queenofdarkestshadows​: 

Zoya set her jaw, her blue eyes fixing on Genya with that casually murderous glare, she loved to offer people around her. But it was gone as soon as it came, and she actually smiled at Genya. ❝I know how to use a heart and how to break one with my beauty..and not to be broken because of it. Maybe if you weren’t so naïve with your accomplishments you could learn a trick or two. ❞ The raven girl flickers her fingers, sending a light breeze of wind to ruffle her locks for an additional effect of her already mesmerising beauty.

Genya stood, silent, in the doorway. Oh, the redhead knew a lot about beauty and how to wield it as a weapon. She’d laced her lips, her skin with poison, feeding it to the king. The one who’d taken her innocence and so many nights of her life. But of course, Zoya and the other Grisha didn’t know the whole truth. The only knew her as the Queen’s pet and the King’s whore. The Darkling had been her only friend until David but, even then, David didn’t know the full extent of what went on behind closed doors. Alina had been a friend too ,more recently. Friends don’t lie to each other, said a little voice in her head. Don’t fool yourself. None of it was real. She shook her head, focusing on Zoya again. ❛ I’m not the fragile doll you’ve met years ago, Zoya. I’ve grown but, most of all, i’ve learned. You pride yourself for being his favorite but let me tell you something... No amount of power will get you his LOVE, darling. Love cannot be bought or taken. It is given, freely.❜     

as some of you knows, my writing may suffer from the recent events that happened in my life. i may write less or with less quality. i only ask you be gentle with me. rp is my coping mechanism as is screaming about my muse so you’re always welcome to hit me up on discord for some quick back and forth or something. love y’all <333

queenofdarkestshadows​: 

Was that what she wanted? Darklin’s ‘love’? His approval, his appreciation…the honourable place by his side…but love? To be honest, she doubted she believed in such term at all, because from a place she came from love only made you spiteful, mean and broken. She would NEVER like to become her mother. ❝Love is for fools and beauty fades…power, however, is what keeps up going. I don’t seek his love, foolish Genya, I have plenty men to throw love around me. I am truthful to my country and I have proven myself enough to not be sold to be used as a weapon.❞ Zoya knew she was being unfairly harsh, but she was hurting and she wanted others to feel the same.

What was a bit unusual was that Zoya did not say she was truthful to her General…but to Ravka.

❛ I’m not as foolish as you think i am, Zoya. I know i’m a weapon. ❜ Genya said, meeting Zoya’s stormy orbs from across the room. We all are, she whispered inwardly. And the redhead thought she was done with the dark-haired beauty but something in her words had caught her attention. I’m truthful to my country, Zoya had said. Not to her General, not to the Darkling. To her country. Perhaps the squaller wasn’t such a lost cause after all. Perhaps she wasn’t as blinded by the Darkling’s charms as the rest of his protégés. Amber eyes narrowed, she crossed the room to the brunette, studying her with a newfound interest. ❛ I have underestimated you, Zoya Nazyalensky. ❜ She whispered, a smile playing about her red painted lips.    

defendrelor​:

IN TRUTH Isaak would have never been able to say no , to decline an offer of such a kind. Nikolai knew him , he’d been his communion officer since long ago , back at HALMHEND , in the icy trenches , on muddy Fjerdan soil. He would follow his Tsar anywhere and the man was very much aware of that.

CURSE his LOYALTY , his inclination to SERVE and to be of service to the crown. It was his HONOR and his BURDEN. His FORTUNE and his DOOM .

Ever since that fateful day in the medik tent where Nikolai had set the glass to his lips to allow him to drink some water , he’d been lost . Lost and saved. Saved from a life being forgotten , yet another casually of the border wars . Lost , lost because he’d found Ehri- , no , Mayu only for them to meet him with nothing but hatred . He could swear he’d something else in her eyes too.

Longing. Affection. Desire.

Isaak felt too many emotions at once , wildly in disarray , switching back and forth from outright love to incredible anger .

His mother would have lost her son , his sisters their brother -

Papa was already gone. Who would have provided for them? Nikolai would have kept an eye on them for sure but -

Their gaze was set on him and Isaak couldn’t help but bristle . Terrible memories. He remembered her collapsing next to him , a blur of colors , the Tsar’s face , calling his name , begging him to stay awake but his head had been full of cotton and the pain was too great . He might never recover fully , he’d been told , he might always have issues with his HEART . Not only physically , he thought grimly as he watched Ehri leave. Nikolai was talking but Isaak drowned it all out , the haze of his thoughts too thick for him to pay attention.

Isaak shall decide how you should be judged for your actions .

Those words made him snap out of his dream like state , tensing next to them , his right hand reaching out , palm pressing against the fine tapestried wall as he tried to steady himself , his left arm in a sling to prevent him from putting too much strain on his wounds. The injury to his heart had been severe , he would have died if Tolya hadn’t manually pumped it to keep his blood circulating . He was dizzy , not only from the weakened state of his body but from the sheer responsibility of it all. Her FATE was in his hands.

❝ Moi tsar , you can’t possibly mean …. I apologize but … but my words mean nothing …❞

He stuttered and stammered , his anxiety sky high , face chalky white as he barely managed to keep himself upright.

Nikolai knew Isaak would have a strong reaction following this revelation. After all, judging the person he’d fallen in love with only to have them drive a knife to his heart wasn’t an easy task. But Nikolai trusted his friend and his judgment. Isaak had been wronged by this person and he deserved the kind of justice he wished upon that person. Nikolai was known to be a fine strategist, though the Too-Clever Fox he was seemed to have miscalculated just how much this wounded heart would react to such a heavy task. Of course, all knew the king was never one to shy away from a good shock value but, this time, he actually felt guilty that the show he was putting on was affecting his dear friend so much. From the corner of his eye, he saw Tolya lift a hand as if to slow Isaak’s heart rate but Nikolai knew it’d be hard for him to manage both former lovebirds at once and he couldn’t afford for Mayu to be free of the Heartrender’s hold. 

❛ Isaak… Isaak, look at me. ❜ Nikolai had crossed the room to him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder and Isaak’s hand to his chest so he’d have a steady heart  rate to focus on. The one of his king, of his friend. A friend whom he knew he could trust because they’d been through worse together. ❛ Breathe with me. ❜ His voice was calm, soft while still being that of a Tsar. ❛ Listen to me, friend. I’m not asking you to decide today. I just want you to listen to what the person who wronged you has to say for themselves. Today, all I'm asking you is to have dinner with me and listen to what Mayu has to say. If it’s too much, if you feel too overwhelmed, you can leave anytime you want, I promise. I will not hold you hostage in your own home. ❜

Mayu couldn’t do much else than stay silent in her wheelchair and watched as the king comforted his guard. His friend. They truly are friends, they thought. But a little voice in her head whispered back to her. Maybe more than friends. They didn’t act like lovers but she could feel something was left unsaid between them. Did it bother them as someone who felt like she could've loved Isaak? No, it didn’t. In fact, she only wished she could be doing the same with Ehri right now. Bring her comfort. Just be there, by her side, the way Nikolai was for Isaak. But they weren’t allowed to. Yet. They weren’t allowed to yet. If they behaved, then maybe King Nikolai would let them. The words came out of their mouth before she could stop herself. ❛ And you have my word. I, Mayu Kir-Kaat, will honor any judgment Isaak Andreyev wishes upon my person, as long as Princess Ehri’s safety is guaranteed. No harm shall come to her, no matter her involvement in this plot against the crown of Ravka. You can also consider this my dying wish, if i’m to die in mysterious circumstances or be dramatically executed. ❜ 

Are you insane? she whispered inwardly. That means you cannot plan an escape. If you do, then this won’t stand anymore. Then, i shall not escape, they answered back. I shall stay where they want me to. What else is there for me out there? Nothing. Reyem is probably dead already or, if he isn’t, he will be the second Makhi hears of the wedding. Ehri still had a chance at a good life. And if it’s the last gift they could give her as her Tavgharad, as her friend, as someone who loved her from a distance, then so be it.  

queenofdarkestshadows​:

Zoya’s dark blue orbs followed the girls movements. Her expression reminded of a cat who acted all uninterested, then let its claws out when it’s least expected. ❝Well, I am not.❞ She grabbed Genya’s wrist, wrapping her fingers around it tightly.

❝I hate it when people are wasting my time. You are far from sobbing and pleading, so it’s quite disappointing, it’s also bad for my reputation, won’t you agree?❞ The grisha girl asked in exaggerated manner of a worry, that was far from truthful.

Genya studied Zoya’s features, carefully, trying to guess what was coming next. She was eager to see what the great squaller’s next move would be. The redhead gasped as soon as the brunette snatched her wrist. Startled by the sudden movement and the strength of her grasp. The tailor had quickly regained her usual composure though. ❛ Well, i’m not holding you back. ❜ she countered with a smile, amber eyes glancing to Zoya’s tight grip. ❛ In fact, by the looks of it, it seems you’re the one keeping me here. ❜ she added, ambers meeting the other grisha’s stunning stormy orbs.