Queenofdarkestshadows:

queenofdarkestshadows​:

❝Calm down? CALM DOWN? Who do you think you are to tell me to calm down. I demand to be explained what the hell happened!❞ Zoya rised her voice and her hands, summoning enough wind to throw the young grisha boy, that had the unfortunate to be the one welcome her back home, across the Little Palace’s hallway. By the crowd had gathered in, watching curiously and whispering rumors.

She finally had lost it. Did he welcomed her wrong? What did he say? Maybe she was not flattered enough? Is angry Darkling left without awaiting her? Didn’t she had some relatives in Novakribirsk?

The voiced collided with one another and in the fury and annoyance Zoya summoned wind storm that amplified her shouting of. ❝Shut up!❞ The room instantly falls silent.

The Second Army had lost its glory. All that was left of it were mere crumbs. They’d all heard of what had happened at Novokribirsk. Most hadn’t believed it at first but The Darkling's absence had screamed the ugly truth. He wasn’t the savior they had expected. As for Alina—— she had been presumed dead and many greedy merchants had been quick to sell her remains or at least that’s what they’d told believers of the Sun Saint. 

Genya had stayed at the Little Palace. It wasn’t like she had much else to go anyway. She had no family left, at least no blood relative that she’d actually wished to ever see again. Her Otkazat'sya mother had always been terrified of what she could do. The Darkling had been the first to value her gift, the first she had ever considered family. When he gifted her to the Queen, she felt betrayed but that betrayal had been quickly forgiven because little Genya could finally taste happiness. Her gift was celebrated by her new mother figure and she could eat all the sweets she wanted and played with puppies but, most of all, she had two brothers: Vasily and Nikolai. Her joy lasted only four years though. Now, it merely felt like a fever dream. Today, it seemed Vasily didn’t care about anything but kvas, horses and games. Except that now he was also King of Ravka since Alexander’s early death, which Genya might’ve been involved in. And Nikolai—— Well, he hadn’t come back after his military service like he’d promised to and hadn’t written back to her in years. Last she’d heard, he was studying engineering at the University of Ketterdam.

Zoya’s entrance had been quite the spectacle. More than usual, Genya noted. Now, the room was silent. Genya stood far behind the crowd, next to David who was nibbling on the toast he’d kept in his pocket. The toast had been freezing cold by now but it was better than nothing. It seemed dinner would be served much later judging by all the commotion the squaller was causing. He felt Genya leave his side. He saw waves of flaming red hair cut through the crowd. His eyes widened behind his glasses and he almost choked on his toast as he witnessed the redhead tackle Zoya with a hug. What an odd evening, he thought, pushing back his glasses with his index finger.

Genya hugged Zoya as tightly as she could, burying her face in her raven locks. She was insanely happy to see this familiar face, even though the girl had always been so rough with her. She couldn’t tell why exactly but there’d always been something comforting in the spades Zoya was throwing at her. ❛ I’m so glad you’re back… ❜ Genya whispered to her ear before leaning back to look at the dark-haired beauty’s face. ❛ Things have been absolute chaos! I’d hate to say this but——  We need you, Zoya. The Darkling’s gone and Alina, she—— ❜ The redhead’s voice broke as she spoke of her former friend. She took a deep breath and kept going. ❛ They say she died in the Fold. Vasi— The King is talking about dismantling the Second Army. They don’t trust us anymore. Lots of us have nowhere to go… If— If they do kick us out, we’ll be hunted down like in the old days. ❜

Yes, Mayu whispers inwardly. Yes, it would. They can’t afford distraction while someone’s life literally depends on her. But he doesn’t know that and probably never will. Because they won’t open up. Opening up means being vulnerable, it means letting people see you, really see you, and she doesn’t want to be seen. She chooses to be someone else’s shadow, be the reason they are still breathing because that’s the only way she manages to get through it all. Work, obligations, duty. Anything to keep their mind busy. Take that away and she collapses.

i’d let you break my heart if it meant one kiss.

They almost huff at that but do not withdraw despite the fact Benjamin is clearly getting closer. ❛ I’ve broken plenty of hearts without permission. ❜ She replies, as a matter of fact. It is true after all. They never meant to hurt anyone though. Unrequited feelings happen. That’s life. And she doesn’t get why people go for them. She’s not soft nor sweet. Hell! They’re everything but.

“  would it really be so bad to give it a shot?  ”    benjamin licks his lips,   shuffling a little closer.   eyes of brown locked on the other,   breath hitching in his throat.   he can’t exactly explain the science behind his thought process right now,   perhaps he didn’t even have one.   all he knew is he wanted to kiss them.    “  i’d let you break my heart if it meant one kiss.  ”

muse:    benjamin ‘benny’ harte.   student, part time worker, and artist on the struggle.   pure baby energy. based on:    benny wanna kith your muse.   he down BAD.   a SIMP

// i dreamed i had an azriel blog from a.cotar… and it gave me ideas

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

couronnez​:

❝ Maybe we should have. ❞

He laughs, a sound that slips so very easily over his lips. It hasn’t, in a long time, he missed it. Just .. living. Being himself and unapologetically so. The food is long forgotten, a minuscule thing on an evening like this, with her sitting vis-à-vis from him. Her presence was mesmerizing. Otherworldly capturing. A moment spent in quiet, with him just taking in her sight, the beauty of her face and then -

❝I have yet to find something I truly like. But … ❞

He leans forward, conspiratorially, his smile widening so easily, it was clear he was no stranger to doing so. Mischief gleams in his eyes. A desire. He wants her to like him. To meet the TRUE Vasily Lanstov. Not the CEO of Lantsov Corporation.

❝ Perhaps, you could show me? ❞

She might, she might not. It doesn’t matter. He is not keen on finding out whether he likes salad or not - as long as it is made by her he will eat it. That’s the whole deal. Flirting and flirting shamelessly but hiding it away with an expertise previously unknown to him.

Then the conversation turns serious again. It’s about her past. Her modeling career. Vasily understands the struggles, the pain. He knows what she must have been through, starving herself to stay thin. To stay photogenic. What nonsense. Vasily thinks he has never seen a prettier woman in his life before.

❝ You shouldn’t. Absolutely not. You’re perfect … ❞

HE DID NOT. He didn’t just say that, did he? Those few words. Vasily holds her glance despite it all. Feverishly. His blue orbs filled with desire. Need. Longing.

❝ Your- … your looks I mean. Impeccable.❞

He smiles, hides it insecurity behind a layer of charm. Suddenly he wishes for nothing more but his wine. To calm his nerves. His heart is racing behind his sternum, his chest aching with the stress of it all but he doesn’t care. Cannot care. Not when he is so mesmerized by the woman sitting across from him.

❝ Anyway … may I ask … what those pills are for? ❞

That laugh. It had startled her. In the right way. It was beautiful, genuine. Nothing she’d had expected from the all famous Vasily Lantsov who’d gotten so drunk years ago he’d spilled his drink on her sister Makhi who was his date at the time. I have yet to find something I truly like, he’d said. She’d thought it was sad at first, sad that he hadn’t yet found something he truly enjoyed. But then he had leaned forward as if to share a secret with her. Perhaps, you could show me? he had said. And she had known he wasn’t just talking about salads. She’d looked down, shyly, as a smile spread across her pink lips. ❛ Perhaps i will. ❜ She had uttered, fiddling with the corner of her napkin before she’d talked about her past. 

Toffee eyes were locked with blue ones. You’re perfect. Those are dangerous words. She slightly shifted on her seat, a nervous laugh escaping her. She didn’t know what to say or how to reply to this. Honestly, she didn’t think she was perfect. And didn’t aspire to be either. Not anymore. She knew he meant it well but something still stirred inside of her. It’s a compliment, the little voice whispered. Just take it and move on. ❛ Thanks. Many say the same about you, Mister Elected Most Eligible Bachelor of Russia. ❜ She ends up saying, hoping the smile and the teasing would dissipate her discomfort. He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Get over it!  But she can’t. Lips part again and she’s about to open up about the situation but he suddenly wonders about the pills. ❛ Oh. ❜ She says, picking up the little pill box. She’s relieved. This is something she can talk about without tiptoeing. ❛ Those are Plavix. Well, blood thinners. I take them to prevent heart diseases. I’ve had issues with my heart in the past and had surgery to fix it. ❜ She explains. She is totally open about it. No shame, no discomfort. She’s at ease. ❛ I’m okay now though. Well, i still need to be careful but with the medication i can pretty much live my life as fully as before. ❜ She smiles. A reassuring one. She wants to reassure him. Let him know that she’s alright now and won’t die on him or anything, since she knows a lot of people get scared off whenever she speaks up about it.

alias: key

pronouns: she/her

height: 5'11 

sexuality: demisexual, polyamorous

favourite animals: cats, narwhals (because unicorns of the sea)

i am from: canada

account created in: june 2021 (for braveandunbreakable and this is where all my muses used to be)

blogroll: @veritasumbra (mor, az, az’s mom and rhys’ sister) / @lookscankll (genya) / @springtimehasreturned (ehri, mayu, makhi) / @twocleverfoxes (linnea, nikolai inactive) / @ullaofthewaves (ulla, duh!) / @kissedbyspirits (lissa, avery currently inactive) / @ofjewelblue (katherine low activity) / @hellsblood (sage, jessalyn) / @bloodmoonborn (nyx oc) @whisperofamemory (calypso mythology) / @hexbloodedthorn (thorn) these are all sideblogs attached to my main account