SHOWNU X HYUNGWON KCON LA 2023

SHOWNU X HYUNGWON — KCON LA 2023

💭❤️‍🔥Boyfriend Hyunwoo❤️‍🔥💭

The aloof boyfriend

Emotionally❤️

He is a smart man but lawd he's oblivious sometimes when it comes to relationships and feelings. At least when it comes to the less mature aspects of them.

Like communicating. He's an amazing communicator if you don't nag. You have to talk to this man and tell him exactly what's bothering you or what you want or else he's just not gonna get it. He's straight forward guy so he's not one to play those mind games of cat & mouse, silent treatments, or cold shoulders. That annoys him like hell.

He WILL NOT try to read your mind. If he asks you 'What's the matter?' And you say 'nothing', mans is just going to roll over and go to sleep and you're gonna be in your feelings. It's not that he doesn't care. He does, or else he wouldn't ask.

He's just not that perceptive of unsaid things. 

Hyunwoo frowned as he chewed slowly when you stepped past him. Normally you'd speak or request a chaste kiss on the lips in greeting if you two hadn't seen each other all day, but tonight you hadn't said more than a few words to him since you got home.

The space between the couch and table was sparse, giving your boyfriend a millisecond of interrupted mealtime before clearing him.

Your body plops against the leather cushions with an exaggerated sigh that makes Hyunwoo's brow twitch. He looks over at you, noting your crossed arms, pouted lips, and scowl trained on the FIFA highlights reel on the screen.

"You alright?" He lifts his brow and you don't even spare him a look when you nod.

"Yep. Just fine." You moped, pretending to care about what he was watching. Hyunwoo knew you didn't. You hated sports and usually only tolerated them if it gave you an excuse to cuddle on him while he watched. But you didn't seem to be in the cuddling mood either.

After watching you squirm lower against the corner of the couch for a few more seconds, he stoops his head over his bowl with his chopsticks in hand, blowing the noodles and pushing them around in a mini whirlpool before bringing a nest of them to his lips.

"Hmm. Doesn't seem like it.." he mutters before he blows the bundle of noodles again, slurping them into his mouth shortly after. Your jaw tenses and you shoot him a side eye to watch him continue to eat his food and watch TV, not showing you any signs of concern.

It didn't help that he looked so good, half-naked, sitting shirtless in his baggy sweat pants that stretched widely from how his legs were spread.

Hyunwoo says nothing else to you for several minutes and it finally gets to you. A frustrated huff from the opposite end of the couch has Hyunwoo turning his head to look at you again, this time with his brow creased deeply in annoyance.

"Is there something you want to talk about or are you just angry to be angry?" He asks you and the lack of a clue in his voice has your chest churning.

Of course, there was but you didn't want to sound childish for being upset over Hyunwoo seemingly forgetting that today was your anniversary. It has been a year and while he might not be counting, you were.

You didn't expect anything grand from him but at least him letting you know he remembered. But he didn't mention it at all today. And to add insult to injury, you'd bought his gift two months ago and it was hidden in your apartment, ready and waiting to be given.

Not that you were a tit-for-tat type of person, but the gift represented the thought of him being in your life this long, and the fact that he hadn't even acknowledged it hurt your feelings a little bit.

"I don't know...Is there?" you bounce your knee over the other as you glare at him piercingly.

Hyunwoo just blinks as he stares back at you, visibly perplexed to the point where you just stand up from the couch abruptly and stomp out of the living room. His eyes follow you until you disappear down the hallway and he lets out a heavy sigh before dropping the chopsticks in the bowl.

Physically💋

Hyunwoo isn't outwardly affectionate. Not really big on PDA but will stake his claim on you in public by keeping his hand on your thigh while seated, holding your hand while walking, or holding your waist while waiting in line somewhere. He's the jealous type but he'll never tell you. So he just makes sure to keep his hands on you in some way to make it clear you're with him.

In private, he's similar. Not overly affectionate in daily life but he never leaves you without a heartfelt kiss on the lips, accompanied by a pleasantly suffocating bear hug. Or, when he suspects that you are upset with him and are having some difficulties with expressing yourself, he likes to walk up behind you and place the softest kiss on your neck, then your shoulder, as he pulls you into an intimate embrace with your back against his chest.

"Tell me what's wrong." He says against the curve of your neck. His lips always felt good when they were on your skin and his arms, firm and smooth to the touch, always made your body melt against him when he held you like this.

He'd caught you in the bedroom shortly after you stormed out, standing in front of your mirror that was mounted on the wall across from the bed. You were about to remove your jewelry and get ready to call it a night when he approached you.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." You lie, shrugging him off of you as begin taking off your earrings. This doesn't deter Hyunwoo one bit and he merely moves to take up the other side of your neck to pepper with kisses. His hands resting at your hips rise to the curve of your waist, pulling your ass back against him suggestively.

"Tired? Already...the sun's barely down."

He kissed your neck some more, pausing between lingering pecks to look up at you in the mirror with the tiniest mischievous smirk.

Now he was really messing with you.

Forgets your anniversary, has the whole day to redeem himself but opts to do nothing but literally kiss up to at the end of the night as if you were in the mood for anything other than sleep.

"I'm not in the mood." you reiterate, pressing the diamond stud into the earring back. Hyunwoo still isn't phased by the attitude.

You are about to leave him standing at the mirror alone when the hand holding your waist reaches back to pull something from his back pocket.

With his chin still resting on your shoulder, Hyunwoo presents you with a white envelope signed with only a little heart and smiley face.

You glance up at him curiously in the mirror and he smiles, his eyes dropping to the proffered envelope expectedly.

"Open it," he instructs and you slowly take it from him. As you open it, Hyunwoo steps back to give you some space to do just that. You tear into the envelope carefully to find a pretty Hallmark card that you were sure he picked up on his way home from work.

Typical.

But it was what was inside that made your heart melt.

It was a brochure for a spa resort in Busan you'd been wanting to go to but could never find the time. But now it looks like you wouldn't have to since Hyunwoo found the time for you.

No wonder he'd been asking about your schedule lately. He wasn't very subtle about it but you figured he was planning to take you to dinner or something. Not a weekend getaway.

His eyes were reduced to slits from smiling when you turned around to look at him but they soften the moment he sees the tears welling in your eyes.

"We're gonna go here? Foreal?" you ask

"I mean it's not Paris. Figured I'd save that for next yearOOF!"

Your arms wrapped around his neck so suddenly that he stumbled back a step, immediately reciprocating the hug as you nuzzled his neck.

"I hate you so much.." you hiccup and Hyunwoo chuckles against your hair.

"Why? You thought I forgot?" His smirk prevails, his eyes committing your shocked expression to memory.

"I did! You didn't say anything!! Why would you wait all day to give me this you dummy?!"

A frequent term of endearment that never bothered him. He smiles at the shake in your voice before kissing your temple.

He pulls away just enough to see your face again and you gaze up at him.

"Because... you're sexy when you're mad." he concedes, leaning down to calm your trembling pout with his lips.

Sexually💦

Similarly to how he prefers to communicate versus reading your mind, Hyunwoo is the same way with sex. While he's very skilled at what he does, you can't always expect him to know how you like it if you don't tell him. And despite him being oblivious any other time, he knows when you're holding something back sexually.

In most scenarios, he is a pretty vanilla guy. (We love vanilla BTW) But he's also a tad competitive and wants to be the best you've ever had. So for him to be, he's going to make sure you tell him every freaky little thing you want.

And he'll do it🥴

Not long after receiving your anniversary gift, Hyunwoo took his time helping you undress as you adorned his chiseled body with selfish touches. All he had to do was lose his pants and underwear and with not an ounce of gentleness, Hyunwoo tossed you on the bed.

He'd done his due diligence in licking you from head to toe, making sliding into you a smooth ride. It had only been a few minutes of him actually fucking you that you felt yourself coming undone.

"Baby..Choke me..choke me hard.." you pant with tearful eyes rolling into your head. Hyunwoo hurriedly trapped your throat under his hand, never skipping a beat as he rolled his hips into you.

"Like this?" He rasps sexily, spearing you deeply. You gasp when he hits you deepest, scrambling to grasp his wrist that rested over your chest.

"Yes! Harder baby. Harder!" You beg, not specifying whether you meant the choking or the fucking. But from the way your walls tightened around his dick when he did both, Hyunwoo figured there was no wrong answer.

He grunts stiffly at the squeeze and bites his lip to keep from making any other noise. You felt as amazing always and there wasn't anything could think to compare it to. There wasn't a part of your body he didn't love.

But since we're on the topic...

Hyunwoo gives me breast man vibes all the way. While he still appreciates a nice booty, he'll spend a lot of time fondling and toying with your nipples while in the heat of kissing. His hands always go there first. Partly because he knows what it does to you and how quickly it turns you on.

Him as well.

Hyunwoo watched the way your nails dug into his forearm, leaving scratches in their wake. The sting has his dick thumping with excitement as he upped his pace, choking you a little harder.

You cum hard and Hyunwoo releases your throat, opting to wedge his hand between your hair and the pillows to cradle your head intimately. His lips find yours with a strained groan of his own as he fucked you faster, obviously chasing his release now that you'd reached your climax.

His tongue is deep in your mouth when he cums just as deep inside of you, and you wrap your legs around his waist to keep him nestled there. You could feel his dick pulsing in your heat, a matching rhythm to his racing heartbeat pounding against your chest.

After coming down, Hyunwoo's languid and sloppy licks into your mouth slow into soft lingering pecks. Your hand searched his amongst the crumbled sheets and your fingers interlock sweetly as Hyunwoo's hips begin to stroke you slowly. He'd just cum but that didn't mean this was over.

Not by a long shot.

And with a whispered 'Happy Anniversary' painted on your lips in a kiss, Hyunwoo set out to make you cum for him again and again until you forgot about being upset with him.

Even though he high-key likes it when you're mad at him.

Overall he's very dominant and possessive but not in an overbearing way. You'll probably never know if he has a lot of stamina because he wears you out pretty fast. (We love that too🌚)

Love Language:

He gives me an 'Acts of Service' with a touch of 'Quality Time'. Since he's a Gemini, I say a touch of quality time because gem's tend to enjoy their alone time but when they're in love, they want to be under you consistently. Hyunwoo will take his space quietly though so you don't feel abandoned and he'll communicate it well.

A quick text to let you know what he's doing or where he's going and when he'll be back is usually how he mitigates any issues.

His main way to show you love is by being reliable.

You need a ride to and from work?

You need help moving apartments?

You caught a flat tire at 3 am?

He'll pull up ❤️

Pet names/Terms of endearment🥰

You're saved in his phone under your name with a heart and ring emoji. He's not extra cheesy enough for anything extra. Doesn't call you by a specific pet name. The common ones like babe,baby,love, etc. But loves saying 'my girl' when mentioning you to others. Fills him with a sense of pride being able to call you his.

<The other Boyfriends >

---

Hyungwon has no one. No family. No friends. A shadowed past and a grim future. With only his fists and will to survive getting him by. Until he’s faced with the choice between incarceration and enrolling in Brighton Academy, the institution notorious for producing some of the best assasins on the planet.

Teaser.

Chapters: coming soon.

a/n: ive been working on this one for about a year and anticipate dropping it here and wattpad early 2024. I'm kinda excited about it and hope you all enjoy it. ❤️

---

💭❤️‍🔥Boyfriends💭❤️‍🔥

A/N: just drabble of my take on how I imagine the monstas are in their romantic/dating relationships. 🥰 semi-sweet/sem-spicy and some intuitive speak. Please enjoy.

Hyunwoo

Hoseok

Minhyuk

Kihyun

Hyungwon

Jooheon

Changkyun

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God Damn : Changkyun❤️‍🔥

A/N: (i wrote this like over a year ago and never edited it🙃) Changkyun x reader (1st person), toxic breakup, drinking, angst, raw sex, rough sex. Emotional and smutty...I apologize in advance. 🌚

6.6k words

"I'm really worried about him."

"He hasn't been himself since you left..."

"He's so lost without you..."

"He's not responding to any of us and we can't find him..."

"Please Mira.....you're the only one who knows him like us..maybe even better than us. He'll talk to you."

That last text from Kihyun was the hardest one to ignore because it was true.

I did know Changkyun better than his friends and that was one of the reasons why I left him in the first place.

I was done with him and this fucking city, already packed and in a hotel until the day of my flight came. This place held too many memories for me to remain here after our separation some months ago and the wounds were too fresh to risk the temptation to go back.

It hurts but I can't keep living like this.

Neither can he.

I knew I would find him here though.

He was such a creature of habit that it annoyed me that his friends wouldn't think to look here first.

It never fails.

He was always so easy to predict and sometimes I wish he'd prove me wrong.

Just once.

Maybe this is a setup.

Hmm...

The smoke was thick and blinding in the crowded basement and the bass shook the walls as I descended from the final step. The rain and thunder outside were drowned out immediately by the music and I have to squint my eyes to see through the haze as I stepped through it.

It was a typical Saturday night and the mutual acquaintance and owner of the house was hosting one of his usual boozed-up functions that I admittedly used to look forward to. But we all have to grow up sometime.

I moved through the swaying crowd of people too drunk and high to care about making way for the angry curly-headed brunette searching the crowd. All of them were lost in the rhythm of the music.

And whatever else they were on...

I hoped he would be among the many in the small sea of stoners. Make my life easy just once would you, Im Changkyun.

Fucking pain in my ass.

Eventually, I made my way to the furthest corner of the party which was illuminated by beaming red LEDs. Several booths lined the back wall where a single light bulb glowed above each table. All of them were littered with paraphernalia, hookahs, empty liquor bottles, and ashtrays filled to the brim with roaches (not the bugs) and cigarette butts. The stink of smoke was even more potent here since it was the source and it burned my eyes the closer I got.

That's when I saw him.

I know it was him immediately by the sway of his long unkept hair hanging in his face. His black leather jacket is draped behind him and the bulge of his tattooed bicep flexes beneath his loose white v-neck tee. He sat with his head down, his elbows resting on the table and his hands running through his hair.

He's alone. Thankfully. Or else this would have been thrice as awkward. It was at that moment that I questioned my intentions as I lingered a few feet away.

Why am I here?

I should just call one of his friends and tell them he's here.

Jooheon would be happy to pull up with Hosoek more than likely to take over.

Kihyun would march straight up to him and yank him up by his collar.

Minhyuk would most likely do something similar after cussing him out for worrying everyone.

Hyunwoo would sit and talk some sense into him, convince him to pull himself out of this ditch he'd buried himself in.

Hyungwon would drink with him for a little before convincing him to quit and go home.

They were his friends. They should be the ones to handle him in his ruins. Not me.

I should just call one of them.

I should walk away now.

I should...

I'm about to step back into the darkness of the dance floor but suddenly go stiff when Changkyun lifts his head and for the first time in what feels like forever I see his face.

He seems thinner, his jawline sharper than I remember, and there is a red smudge staining the corning of his bottom lip. That's when I noticed the redness on his knuckles.

The scrapes, bruises, and scars.

What had he done to himself after we went our separate ways? Drinking himself into a stooper aside. What demons had he been battling that I couldn't bear witnessing any longer?

Without thinking about it anymore, I approached him with a fast beating and heavy heart. I'm gonna get him out of here and be done.

For good.

I stand beside where he's seated and wait for him to notice me, hoping he isn't too far gone in the glass of what I presumed to be some form of cognac with no ice.

It only takes a few seconds for Changkyun to lift his head to look up at me with blank eyes. It's as if I was just some random girl blocking the light. But after a few seconds of exaggeratedly slow blinking, his expression changes from indifference to annoyance.

"Amira?" I catch on his lips. Changkyun looks me up and down, studying me in my jeans and coat before lazily locking eyes with me again.

"I'm here to take you home." I raise my voice and the look of irony on my ex's face gives me pause.

"Home...." He slurs with a tsk as he drags his eyes back down to the swirling liquor in his glass.

I furrow my brow at him but choose to dismiss the look of disgust on his face.

"Get up," I say with more urgency, not even bothering to raise my voice. Changkyun scoffs lightly before picking up the short-cut glass set before him on the table.

My face hardened as he ignored me to take a sip of the amber substance, his Adams Apple bobbing as he swallowed.

"I am home so.......Fuck off...." He mumbles, gesturing towards the glass as he sucks in another sip.

He was so stubborn when was drunk.

Definitely NOT going to miss that.

Losing my patience, I reach for the glass before he can take another sip and Changkyun's lightning reflexes seem well intact judging by how quickly he moved the cup from my reach. But in the process, he also underestimates the strength of his grip and the small glass shatters in his grasp.

Broken shards fall over the tabletop, spilling the alcohol all over its surface. No one around reacts to the scene though, leaving only me to witness the frustration in Changkyun's expression.

"God dammit..." I hear him huff and my eyes go wide at the steady stream of blood tricking from his palm. He doesn't seem to notice it though and is staggering to his feet like a drone. I already knew what he was after, a drink to replace that one and I wasn't having it.

"No," I say as I grabbed him by the wrist. Changkyun looks down at my hand then at me and scoffs.

"What are you doing?" He furrows his brow with an arrogant smirk.

"You can barely walk. No more drinking. Let's go." I yell over the music.

"Go home, Mira..."

"I'm not leaving here without you!"

"For fucks sake..."

Changkyun drunkenly scoffs at me again before snatching out of my grasp. I quickly grab his other and it turns into an obnoxious game of snatch and grab on the dance floor.

If I weren't so annoyed and pissed, I would be embarrassed at how childish we must have looked. Standing there playing tug of war with each other. Of course, I was no match for Changkyun's strength but I was sober. This meant my reaction time reflexes and persistence were bound to have him relenting to my will eventually.

It took some convincing and a bit of manhandling on my end to get Changkyun to leave the basement. Thankfully, there seems to be a break in the storm and I glance up at the sky with relief.

At least we wouldn't have to walk in the rain on top of me dragging this drunk ass.

My mood plummets once we reach the sidewalk. Because the moment we're outside and the humid air hits him, I flinch at how Changkyun suddenly moves out of my reach to double over a random trash can.

Ugh.

I rolled my eyes even harder as he wretched into the metal bin, resisting the urge to go to him. To rub his back and stroke his hair. To comfort him through the inevitable.

I don't though.

That wasn't my job anymore.

We stumble up the sidewalk for a few blocks until we reach his apartment building and I get him inside using the code I'd memorized from frequent use over the years. It was now pouring again and we were drenched by the time we stepped inside the building's lobby.

I get him inside and shiver at the chilling temperature from the doorway. As if being soaked to the bone with rainwater wasn't enough. It seemed as though just to vex me, my thoughtless drunk of an ex kept his heat off all day.

"Ugh..." I exhale again. Standing here cussing him in my mind wouldn't get us warm so with me supporting most of his weight, we enter.

A trail of wet shoes and outerwear lay abandoned by the front door and the hum of the heat filling the old vents of his apartment swirl around us as I sat in the living room.

I kept his lights dim and left the TV off as I listened to the rain pattering against the windows.

Changkyun snored softly in the spot I allowed him to plop down on the couch and he'd fallen asleep immediately, his hair and shirt still damp, leaving me on the armchair opposite of him.

There Amira. The job was done.

You can leave now.

Leave him and all of this torment behind you.

I said that to myself as I rose to my feet. Changkyun remained still and sleeping with his face mushed against the cushion, his wet hair fanned out over his head.

Why did he have to be so cute AND such a disaster all at once?

Lightning strikes, spooking me to sit back down on the indented sofa. Then another chill ran over my body despite the warming air, reminding me of the weather I'd be facing again once I stepped outside.

An Uber or cab would cost a bit.

And the metro station was too far to walk to in the rain.

Perhaps I should have thought this through, instead of allowing Kihyun's worrisome ass to convince me to do this.

"Dammit.." I sigh, ultimately deciding it would be best to stay put. Hopefully, Changkyun remained asleep by the time the storm let up enough for me to sneak out of there.

So I stayed, reluctantly, and leaned my head back against the cushion of the sofa.

Between the thunder, the buzzing hum of the heating system in his apartment, and the soft sound of Changkyun's muffled snoring, it wasn't long before my eyes began to roll back sleepily.

"Hey...."

I flinch and my eyes pop open to find Changkyun standing before me in the living room, shirtless with his wild mane sitting messily atop his head.

It looked as if he'd awakened some time ago and taken a shower since he's in different clothes and the clean scent of his shampooed hair is detectable from his proximity.

I gulp as my eyes travel down his body of their own volition but blink away any inappropriate ideas before they can form. I lift my gaze to find him staring at me with the same dark interest.

"You're still here..." he states calmly as I sit up in the seat and he regards me just as soft as his voice as I glance around the room with mild confusion.

It was still dark outside but the storm had eased up significantly.

Damn...

How long was I asleep?

His eyes seemed more sober than they were before he passed out and I looked up at him speculatively.

That's a relief.

"Um...yeah. Must have dozed off.." I mutter, grimacing as I shake the sleepiness away.

Changkyun makes a noise that could have either been a scoff or a snort of humor.

"Yeah. Me too.." he chuckles, but his smile doesn't touch his eyes as it trailed off.

I can't imagine the headache he must have right now.

At his pause, I take it upon myself to continue.

"I stuck around hoping that the storm would let up a bit and dry off. I wasn't trying to..."

"Naw it's cool. You don't have to explain...Shit, to be honest...I don't even remember how I got home. Glad you had something to do with that and not some random..." he chuckles shamelessly and although I know he saying it in a joking manner, I know he is serious.

There's no telling how many women he's brought back here after getting shitfaced.

The thought makes my stomach turn.

"Yeah well...Since you're awake, I should probably get going..." I concede amid his nervous chuckling, preparing to stand and Changkyun immediately lifts his hands to stop me.

"What? No...I mean... it's still raining and it's late. People drive like dick heads over here when it's wet..." he says, his choice of words always colorful.

"It's fine...I didn't drive. I took the train." I said truthfully.

Changkyun frowns at my response.

"You took the train? What happened to your car?" He asks and I go tense.

Oh boy.

"I.......sold it," I answer him, tucking my lips between my teeth as I wait for him to digest the answer.

The two of us hadn't spoken in a while which meant I hadn't made him aware of me moving away, let alone me selling the car he'd spent countless hours working on for free.

Other than it being in my name and me being financially responsible for it, Changkyun put just as many miles and effort into it as if it were his.

"You sold your car..." he deadpans and I nod affirmatively.

Bravely.

Awkwardly.

"Yep. For a really good price to a guy I knew from uptown. I.... can't afford to take it with me so.."

"Oh right! Because you're moving out of the city." Changkyun interrupts me.

The sluggishness in his voice was no longer present, telling me he was for sure sober. But that same hint of disdain and disgust presented itself as he spoke. I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off.

"Yeah....I know. Kinda saw it on Instagram. The whole "going away party" threads on your friend's stories gave me the clue. Sucks that I couldn't hear the news from you but...ya know." he shrugs sullenly.

I stand there quietly for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah." is all I can muster and Changkyun scoffs.

"Yeah.." he chuckles breathily, turning away from me as he runs a hand through his hair. I watched him begin to pace slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck and flaunting his bare upper body to the neon glow of the street lights just beyond his apartment window.

"I get it though. Of course you sold it. I mean...why not? You could always just get a replacement. Since that's your way of doing shit anyway. Commit to something, get it all fixed up, and just...walk away from it." He turns on his heel to throw in before turning his back to me again.

His statement stuns me and I'm left speechless as he continues away from me.

I watch his back and the shadows cast against his muscles from the dimness as he walks over to his array of liquor bottles lined up against the back wall of the kitchen counters. He reaches for a half-empty Hennesy, twisting the cap and tipping it back for a hefty sip that's swallowed down like water.

I furrow my brow at the way his shoulders sag in relief as he turns to me.

"You could have told me, you know? Thought we were better than that," he remarks stiffly before he lifts the bottle back to his lips, gazing over its body at me as he takes another sip.

His eyes are expectant and I just stare back, too tired to indulge him.

I sigh heavily and begin patting my pockets to make sure my phone and wallet are still there before spotting my keys on his coffee table.

"The only reason I'm here was because Kihyun reached out." I snatch them up and they jingle loudly as I step around the table. Changkyun frowns at the sound of his friend's name on my lips and narrows his eyes.

"Why the fuck would he hit you up?" he asks and I snort at the bitterness of his question.

"I asked myself the same thing. But he figured I was his last resort in getting in contact with you, seeing as how you've been avoiding everyone and missing work. Believe me, though, I'm starting to wish he hadn't..." I respond honestly breezing past Changkyun in the direction of his guest bathroom.

The only reason I'm able to move so comfortably around his apartment was that Id damn near made it my second home in the duration of our tumultuous relationship.

I wouldn't be surprised if I still had a toothbrush or a box of tampons here.

I flip the light switch, not at all surprised to find Changkyun following close behind and my disheveled reflection staring back at me in the mirror. My curls had dried only a little and my makeup was smudged a tad but not ruined.

"Right..because I'm not your problem anymore." He chuffs, taking another sip and I roll my eyes at his antics as I try to tend to my appearance. I run my fingers through my hair roughly before snatching a paper towel off the roll, dampening it before wiping just below my eyeline.

"You were never my problem Changkyun. The only one here with problems was you." I mutter distractedly, frowning at how difficult it was to wipe away my mascara. My response seems to amuse him and an ironic smirk crosses his face as he leans against the doorway.

"And I'm guessing that's why you left? Me and my problems? Just me though, right? Since you're so perfect..." he asks with a cheeky tone and I hiss irritably as I abruptly turn to face him.

"What choice did I have? What choice did you give me? All we do is fight. It's not healthy for either of us and I'm exhausted. YOU are exhausting. I never claimed to be perfect but you..." I go on and Changkyun nods cynically as I speak.

"Yeah...c'mon. Lay it on me. Tell me how horrible I am despite all the shit I've done for you...I'm the fucking worst right?" He chortles and I can't help but laugh.

"Like I haven't done shit for you! Don't act like that negates the fact that you can't change or that...I don't know...We just aren't compatible anymore. That we've grown apart..."

"I'm not changing for somebody who doesn't know what the fuck they want. Ok?" Changkyun cuts in, jutting his forefingers into his sternum emphatically.

"You're impossible to satisfy Mira! You want me to be someone that I'm not. At least not yet...You put pressure on me to do shit how you want and when I fall short, I'm the bad guy. I never cheated on you. Never put my hands on you..."

"Gee, thanks for the bare minimum of common decency Kyun. I appreciate it." I mumble amid his rambling...

"..when you suggested seeing a shrink, I was open to it.." he continues.

"But did you go?" I tack on and he rolls his eyes.

"That's not the point. You gotta give me time. This shit here? Talking about my feelings...this is new territory for me. You never cut me any slack. You just criticize and jet like you're doing now.."

"Because I'm tired of cutting you slack. I'm tired of waiting...I wanted us to evolve and be better together. I wanted us to live together officially and live healthier and get married and..." I trail off, the words clogging my throat as the heartbreak of feeling rejected by him swell.

For a while, we were fine.

But eventually, I wanted more than what he was willing to give. And he tried to appease me and distract me from the fact that our relationship had hit a plateau.

It took us having a pregnancy scare for me to really see how unprepared he was for us moving forward.

"...but you've made it explicitly clear that that's not what you want." I nearly choke on the sob threatening to break through.

We'd been through this too many times and rehashing it was the last thing I wanted. Changkyun blinked a few times as if he needed to gauge my demeanor before responding.

Then he looked away painfully, grimacing a bit as he rubbed at the back of his neck with a troubled sigh.

"I know...I'm just..not ready.." he mutters, his eyes now on the floor. His jaw tightened and shifted as he contemplated something and I remained in front of the bathroom sink patiently. 

The silence between us was deafening and the longer I gazed at him and his conflicted state, the stronger my urge to cry became.

I love this man.

So much that it hurts to even say it.

Changkyun lifts his head suddenly at the sound of me sniffling and I curse myself for letting a tear escape.

I turn my back to wipe it away with a shaky huff.

"I know. And I'm not waiting for you to be. I can't. I'm just done." I shake my head, avoiding the searing look in his eyes I knew he was giving me.

I sniffle again, scanning his bathroom for the tiny waste bin to discard the charcoal-streaked paper towel and Changkyun stands unmoved in the doorway as I brush past him.

Before I'm clear of him, I feel his hand gripping me by the wrist.

I pause, anticipating the inevitable. Another condescending remark to get a rise out of me, provoking me to engage in more back and forth. Feeding his selfish need to drain me until I was as empty as he felt.

But to my surprise, he says nothing.

At his silence, I turn to find him staring at our now intertwined fingers sadly.

His brow creased painfully and the muscles in his jaw tensed as he bit back the urge to cry, the urge that glistened in his hooded eyes.

"You can't be angry at me for not wanting what you want when you want it," he repeats and I roll my eyes, pulling my hand from his with little effort. He doesn't try to stop me from withdrawing despite us moving like magnets. He drags behind me to the living room mindlessly.

"I'm not doing this...." I mutter as I scan the room as if I'd forgotten something.

"You're here, so you are. We..are doing this." He grits, his tone making me turn on my heel to face him with the full intention to cuss and give him exactly what he wanted.

But the way he glares into me with broken eyes and his sullen shoulders, I'm rendered silent.

"We could have worked this out but instead you did what you always do when shit gets tough. Run away.." he closes the distance between us tentatively, his voice shaking as he spoke.

I shake my head at the conviction in his voice, knowing we were at an impasse.

"Right.." I chuckle before wiping my eyes one more time. I lift them to match his glare intensely.

"And you go and do what you always do when you can't take accountability for shit. Go and find solace at the bottom of a liquor bottle until you're painting the floor with it."

I know the words a daggers to him when he narrows his eyes.

"And you're such a saint." Changkyun tuts his brow arrogantly at me.

Yes. There was a time when getting black-out drunk and high was considered a good time. And those horrible habits were the reason Changkyun and I bonded. Mutual interests evolved as did our relationship and loving him made being under the influence less necessary.

"Well, it's a good thing we ended things right? Since we're so different..." I shrug and Changkyun scoffs, looking away with his tongue sticking through the skin of his cheek. When he looks back, it's with a look that always used to make my core tighten.

"I didn't end shit." he insists, narrowing his eyes at him darkly.

"I know."

"Exactly. So stop acting like I wronged you in all of this. Stop acting like I'm the one who broke your heart, Mira."

The tears were flowing freely by now and I neither had the will or strength to resist them anymore. Eyes rimmed red and shining, I let out a laugh that morphs into a muffled sob.

"I had to. Don't you understand? For the sake of my sanity, I had to walk away because I was not going to sit back and watch you destroy yourself. To watch us destroy each other. I loved you too much to continue this. I tried but I just couldn't. I had to be done."

"What if I'm not?"

"Kyun..."

"I don't wanna be done."

He stares at me blankly for a moment, his eyes reading the way I avoided his with a melancholy smirk.

Suddenly Im inhaling the malted mix of cognac and mint as he grabbed me at the back of my neck, pulling me forward so that he could rest his forehead against mine.

His eyes bore into mine, dark as obsidian and just as hard. The tip of his nose brushes mine and he tilts his head so his words are painted against my lips in an exalted exhale.

"And neither do you.." he mouths, our parted lips sharing a desperate breath for a moment before one of us gives in.

And it's him.

It's always him.

The darkness in his eyes was sinful when he pulled away and I'm ashamed to have been the one chasing his lips a little when he did.

His presence was more intoxicating than any liquor I ever consumed.

The way neon lights from beyond the window blinked against the side of his face, highlighting his chiseled features as he walked me back until I was pressed flat against the wall of his living room.

"Kyunnie?" I stammer as he pressed against me, pinning me to the concrete grey-painted wall, kneading my nape as he tipped his head back just enough to see my face.

His eyes danced with mine for a moment, both of us hesitating and searching for something in the other.

"You hate me, don't you?" He asks.

"I never said that..." I attempt to respond but he shakes his head.

"You never had to..." he cuts me off, his eyes falling to my lips. Without a shred of hesitation, he leans in and kisses me again.

Harder.

More fervently.

Hennessy and desperation lingered on his tongue but he didn't kiss me as if on a drunken impulse. He kissed me as if his life depended on it. Sloppy and frantic. Our teeth clashed at moments as our tongues fought and our voices melded into a melody of muffled moans.

What the hell was happening...

A few minutes ago I was ready to walk away from this part of my life. Ready to end this chapter and close the door on the man who knew better but wouldn't do or be better.

Toxic wasn't even the word.

His mouth parts from mine and he trails sloppy desperate pecks down from my lips to my neck.

My weakness.

The moment his lips grazed my skin, chills ran over my entire body, and Changkyun wasted no time in taking my flesh between his teeth. His hard body felt hot against mine and I wasn't sure if it was his heartbeat I felt through my clothes or my own. But what I did know was that I needed him.

In more than just a physical sense.

I needed him all over me.

On top of me.

Inside me.

His tongue swipes over the series of love bites he placed on my skin and I moan his name needingly. I feel him smile against me and chuckle softly before sucking a mark over my pulse.

He knew he had me the moment he sunk his teeth into my skin. Im putty in his hands and anything he desired was his as long as he was willing to fulfill mine.

Seconds later, we're falling back against his couch with me straddling his waist and him ripping my clothes off. It was not long before Im naked and gazing down at the length of Changkyun's dick standing up in his grasp.

He bites his lip, dragging his hooded gaze up my body as if he'd never seen it before.

Or as if he believed he'd never see it again.

He squeezed my hip with his other hand, encouraging me to grind my hips against him a few times before rising to my knees.

Wordlessly, he guides me down to sink into me slowly. A slow hiss blows between his teeth before his jaw goes slack and my eyes flutter shut in ecstasy at the slight sting.

It felt like forever since I'd had him inside me but it couldn't have been long enough for me to forget how he stretched me. I moan shamelessly with my head thrown back, my waist already whining against him and Changkyun reaches up to tangle his fingers with the hair at my nape.

He pulls me forward, forcing me to look at him as he buries himself as deep as I'll allow him.

"Fuck me baby...fuck me like you fucking hate me.." Changkyun demands, the growl in his deep raspy voice driving me wild with emotion and lust.

I obey immediately, placing my hands on the back of the couch for better support. I slowly roll my hips back and forth to find my rhythm, using my lower body strength to bounce on him. Every movement pushes him deeper and I soon lose myself completely in how good he felt.

Like he was made for me.

My moans soon drowned out the sound of our skin slapping together, the wetness and stimulation pushing me closer to climax.

It never took long for Changkyun to make me cum. He knew my body that well and at times I resented it. He was arrogant with the power he held and it's shown in the amusement written all over his face right now.

His brow is perked and his eyes are fixed on my face, relishing in the painfully pleasured expression of my impending orgasm as he bucked his hips to drive himself exactly where I needed him.

When my legs begin to shake, he smiles and fucks into me faster until a rush of release spurts out and around his dick. My warmth and wetness surrounded him like a waterfall, and he fought against the current effortlessly as I cried out.

"Oh my god.." I drawl out and Changkyun silences anything else I might have said by pulling me in by the neck to kiss him sloppily.

He hugs me against him, holding me in place as his hips continue to roll upwards and stroking me slowly as we kiss.

"I changed my mind..." I mutter against his lips and he hums questioningly.

"I do hate you..." I finish, his only response being a cruel chuckle that makes my walls clench around him.

"Fuck, Mira..." he whispers, taking my bottom lip between his teeth. I pull back slowly, allowing the flesh to stretch before he releases it with reluctance.

I attempt to untangle myself from him but his embrace only tightens with resistance.

Before I can question him, Changkyun grunts as he stands with his arms hooked beneath my legs. My eyes widen in surprise to find his hardened gaze fixated on where were still connected, biting his lip and bouncing my body against his dick.

This angle was even more torturous as it not forced him deeper, but the constant feel of me pounding against him had my clit throbbing from the friction. Not to mention the fact that he held me up and fucked me like this for a while, reminding me of how strong he was physically.

I almost feel like I can't breathe and my voice is hoarse from moaning. I most likely came again. Or a few times. I wouldn't be able to tell. I can barely see since tears still blurred my vision from before and I had no choice but to be at the mercy of my ex and his determination to prove a point.

Though, I had no idea or care of what it was.

"You hate me? Hmm...you hate me?" He grunted in time with his hard strokes, still holding me up in his arms.

I mumble his name endlessly and amidst a string of breathy moans.

I do hate him.

Hate him for ruining all men for me after this.

Hate him for always fucking me..making love to me..like his life depended on it.

Hate him for branding himself on my damaged soul so that every time I closed my eyes, my heart projected his face against the blank walls of my mind.

Hate him for giving me no choice other than to love him.

Fuck, I love him.

Changkyun pauses to step briskly with me still in his hold, nudging his already open bedroom door away for us to enter.

A chill ran over my skin as he stepped deeper into his room. The scent of his cologne and bed sheets trigger memories I fought to forget and I gasp when the softness of his them grace my back.

He doesn't waste another second.

He spreads me wide, keen eyes on where his dick still split me and a thick stream of saliva drips from his tongue and onto the point where we met.

As if it was needed.

I just think he got harder at the idea of stuffing me with as much of his DNA as he could.

And I hate to admit how hot it was.

"Kyun.." I sigh and his eyes snap up to my begging eyes as he sinks into me.

His hips rock my body higher on the mattress and his solid arms cage me against his chest as he fucked me.

Slowly.

Purposefully.

It wasn't hurried and frantic like before.

He curled into me and stroked my warm velvety walls with a gentleness I'd missed from him.

He savored me.

On his lips. On his tongue. In my sex.

Changkyun made love to me like a man stroking against a current, fighting his way to shore.

He fucked me as if it pained him not to.

I felt his lips kissing the shell of my ear as he whispered my name.

Over and over.

I can tell he's unraveling and that the moment is limited.

I held him against me, my nails scraping over his back as he rocked into me faster and harder, making me gasp.

I needed him.

Maybe not beyond this moment or these four walls.

But I needed him now in any way I could.

He'd barely pulled out in time before he spurts himself all over the face of my pussy, hiccuping my name against my throat as he came.

He strokes himself slowly, squeezing the final few drops of cum over my pink folds before pressing his dick back inside of me.

He's still rock hard and my slicked walls welcome him in with zero resistance.

I brace my hands against his hard biceps as he sank deeper inside of me to the hilt, the tip of him pressing as far as it would go. He flexes his hips and pushes himself impossibly deep.

So deep that I can feel our pulses throbbing between us.

So deep that it was as if he was yearning to touch a part of me that he never felt. A part of me that would be our saving grace and keep the withering connection between us alive.

But all I felt was pain.

Sweet.

Somber.

Sobering.

Pain.

"Changkyun...." I whimper beneath him and he eases back an inch with a heavy sigh as he lays his full weight over me.

He rests his face in the crook of my neck and I feel his warm touch caressing my face. His thumb swipes over the apple of my cheek, sweeping over the trail of tears that still flowed from my eyes.

For a while we just lay there, leveling our labored breaths and staring into the sepia tone of his darkened apartment bedroom. I feel myself drifting asleep until the deep vibrations of Changkyun's tired voice pull me back up.

"Hmm?" I rasp and he sniffs and swallows the hard lump of emotion in his throat, hugging our naked bodies tighter together.

"I don't blame you...for hating me." He says shakily, sniffling again. If it weren't for his grip on me and my fatigue, I would have pushed him away just enough for me to see his face.

I furrow my brow and contemplate what I could say to him in response. Just to ease the pain in his voice a touch because I did love him that much.

But...

"I hate me too..." he adds on, squeezing me again.

Changkyun turns his face so that that his nose brushes against my nape and his shuddering breath against my skin makes me shiver.

He cries there for a moment and the weakened tone of his light sobs pull me down into the abyss with him. I say nothing though. Knowing anything I could say would either sound patronizing or enabling.

Or a like a lie.

And I just couldn't do it anymore.

But God Dammit if it didn't hurt.

"I'm sorry." He whipsers after his silence sets a pause in his tears. The words sound painful for him to say and for some reason, my heart ached.

This changed nothing. He was still who he was and so was I. As much as we loved each other, it would never be enough.

"Me too. " Is all I can manage to say and I tangle my fingers in the sweat-damp hair at his nape, stroking his scalp with my fingertips soothingly as we both lay motionless.

Still connected in the only way we could be.

🥵

---

Christmas at the Office

Summary: Spending Christmas Eve with him was the best present I could have asked for.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

WC: 4,853

Warnings: SMUT. 18+ only content ahead. Please skip this one if you're not comfortable with that.

I veered from the original request for this one a little. This felt right to write. I hope this is okay.

“Yoongi, I finished inputting data for the Im account. I was about to start on Kang, but I’m missing a few documents.”

My heels clicked against the linoleum as I crossed the small office. Yoongi looked up upon my approach. His eyes tired as he blinked away his exhaustion to give me his full attention.

“Mmm. What are you missing?”

“Exclusions and endorsements for the following policy period. I’m pretty sure this one is old.”

He held his hand out for my stack. I gave them up, letting him glance over what I had while I looked up at the clock. 9 PM. He sighed.

“Yeah I think Eunsuk has them. At least, it was his account before it was given to you. Just leave it for now.”

I took it back, not too happy to be leaving it for the moment. Not because it was urgent by any means, but because it was the last account I had to do for the time being. Which meant I didn’t have anything else to do and I would be made to go home. Err, well, Yoongi would ask me to. He’d been trying to get me to go home all evening, but I had refused. Telling him that there were several things I wanted to finish up and it wasn’t a big deal for me to stay anyway.

And that was the truth. If only half of it. The other reason I wanted to stay was because Yoongi was. He almost always stayed late during the week, so I supposed it wasn’t unusual to find him here. Except that it was a holiday weekend. He stretched in his seat in front of me, long fingers reaching up to pull his glasses off his nose to rub his eyes. His dirty blonde hair brushing back as he ran a hand through it, only to fall forward again once released. It was a new color on him. Very different from the jet black he’d had since I started at this company.

Different, but sexy. He looked good in blonde. My cubicle mate, Hanna, was convinced that he must have gone through a breakup of some sort because according to her, “men like him don’t just dye their hair out of nowhere”.

“Is that the last of your stuff?”

I snapped out of my, what could probably be considered inappropriate, ogling to meet his dark eyes.

“Oh, yeah.” I admitted a little reluctantly.

“Good. You should get home then. It’s late and it is Christmas Eve.”

“Aren’t you- I mean, do you still have quite a bit left?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m about halfway through this one and then I’ve got to finish the Park account by Monday.”

Park. That was one of our biggest clients. If he tried to finish all of that by himself he’d be here for hours.

“Why don’t I help?”

He glanced up at me, looking a little surprised I had even offered.

“I mean, with two people divvying up the work, it should go by faster. I’d hate to think you had to spend any more time here than necessary when you could be home with your family.”

I tried to subtly slide the inquiry into the statement. According to Hanna, it was obvious how infatuated I was with Yoongi. No matter how much I tried to brush it off and insist it was only because I respected him. And that was the truth. I did respect Yoongi a lot. He wasn’t my boss, but I’d do anything he asked me to. He was a good employee and an even better coworker. Maybe my feelings did extend a bit beyond the scope of simply respect, but that was secret I intended to take to my grave.

I wasn’t… the typical type of girl men like him went for anyways. I’d always erred more on the curvier side of the spectrum of body types. It didn’t matter how much I dieted or the amount of times I went to the gym every week, part of me was thicker and would always be thicker.

Yoongi’s lips curled up in a faint smile.

“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t have a family back home to go to. It’s just me.”

“Oh.” I tried to be nonchalant about it, but to my ears, it came out more intrigued than anything.

“But I’m sure you have a lovely boyfriend at home waiting for you.”

I stared at him even as he slid his glasses back on and looked back down at his computer screen. Was he fishing like I had been? Suddenly I was filtering through past conversations wondering if I had ever said anything that would make him believe I was seeing anyone. I shook my head, laughing under my breath.

“I don’t have a boyfriend. Just me at home.”

One of his shapely brows lifted, followed by his eyes peering at me over the frame of his glasses.

“Really? I definitely thought you to be too beautiful for someone to not be greeting you when you came home.”

I nearly choked on my own spit. The poor papers in my hands crumpling as I curled them into fists. Eyes widening and brain buffering to determine whether my ears had deceived me or not. Yoongi’s amusement told me I had not. I avoided his gaze as my cheeks heated. The last thing I needed was for him to realize how flustered he made me.

“A-anyway, I can stay. If you’d like some help.”

“Well, since you’re offering. I’ll accept graciously.”

“Great. I’ll get us some coffee.” I mumbled.

Turning on my heel, I made a beeline for my desk to drop off the papers that were a little worse for wear now before continuing onto the break room. I took a deep breath, my cheeks puffing out with my exhale as I picked the little red topped cup I noticed Yoongi almost always chose himself. Courtesy of my observant nature when it came to him one afternoon when Hanna and I had been in here together making tea for ourselves. Yoongi had greeted us politely, opening a cabinet right above my head and immediately going for them.

Then again a couple of days later while I was having lunch. Same red top. I might have also noticed that we bought more of that specific line to replace often than any of the others. God there really was something wrong with me. I sighed popping it into the Keurig to brew. I fanned my cheeks hoping to get rid of some of the redness. He couldn’t just say things like that. Otherwise, I’d take them the wrong way. And clearly, I didn’t need help feeding my obsession. But at least I’d managed to score a couple more hours with him. I suppose I would need them when I left here to spend the rest of the holiday weekend alone in an empty apartment. I used the few minutes I could to calm down. Pouring him and myself a mug I replaced the carafe and walked back into the main office. Yoongi had already returned to his work, focus drilled into the account displayed in front of him even as I set his coffee beside him.

“Thank you.” He murmured, pulling the cup a little closer to him before gesturing to the next cubicle over. “Pull up a chair. Make yourself comfortable. We’ll be here for a while.”

Happily, I dragged a free chair over to the edge of his desk. Making sure I could still see his screen too if I needed. But that also meant we were a lot closer than either of us had been to one another before. His knee bumping into mine any time he turned to far to his left. The arms of our chairs pressed to one another and my elbow nudging his. Hoping to distract myself, I picked up the file he had for Park, sorting through it. We worked in silence for a bit. Neither of us saying much while we double checked paperwork and made sure it transferred into the system correctly.

“I have an endorsement that was made for this year’s renewal that’ll increase their premium. Is it included in the policy?”

I leaned a little closer to him so I could see the computer screen a little better. Moving back again to sift through the pile of papers I had scattered across my lap. But I didn’t have anything that discussed the change. I shook my head.

“No, it’s not-“

My words fizzled into nothing when I looked up at Yoongi. He had leaned closer while I had been searching. Eyes scanning every document over my shoulder as I had looked through them. His face impossibly close. I could have fainted at how beautiful he was. Even being tired, the way his eyes blinked oh so slowly and remained half lidded was alluring. The soft slope of his nose that caused his glasses to slip down almost more often than they perched correctly. Long fingers lifting to push them back into place. His lips were wet, an indication that he had indulged in his habit of licking them any time he was thinking hard about something.

“Is everything alright?”

“Hmm?” I hummed dreamily, trailing my eyes back to his to find him eyeing me curiously.

I jolted back to my senses. My knee banging into the side of his desk eliciting a hiss from me. A noise of surprise left him, his curiosity turning to concern.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” I answered a bit too quickly, adjusting myself to create some distance between us. “I don’t have a page disclosing the changes. We’ll have to print one.”

His expression turned dubious, as if he didn’t believe that I was fine, but turned back to his computer anyway. A few quick clicks and he was printing what I needed. I used the excuse of grabbing the paper to get away for a second. Doing my best to ignore the ache in my knee with every step. Ugh, I was pathetic really. I couldn’t be more obvious if I tried. I just prayed Yoongi wasn’t reading into things too much. Him thinking I was weird; I could live with. Him finding out just how completely smitten I was with him?

I might as well start digging my own grave.

I stifled my fourth yawn in the last thirty minutes. My eyes drifting to the clock on the wall to see it was almost 11:30. Way too late for me to be catching my usual bus home. Yoongi followed my gaze to the clock, releasing a soft sigh.

“We can stop here for the night.”

“Are you sure? I can knock back another coffee and keep going.”

He shook his head. “Nah. There’s not much left anyway. I can finish this early Monday morning.”

I frowned, a bit disappointed, but I couldn’t exactly tell him I wasn’t tired. My eyes were finding it hard to stay open. I stood as he did, averting my gaze as he stretched so I wouldn’t have to see his shirt molding to his upper body. I pushed the chair I had been using back where I got it from as he powered down his computer. I was a little unsteady on my feet on my way back to my desk to gather my things. The heels not helping and feeling heavier than they usually did on my feet. I didn’t notice Yoongi following me until he held his arm out with my coat as an offering. I thanked him, slipping it on and grabbing my purse next.

“How are you getting home?”

“Oh, um…”

“You usually take the bus, right?”

“How did you know?”

“I’ve seen you getting on and off a couple of times.”

He’s seen me? I would have bet he hadn’t known how I got to and from work. Any time I arrived he was already here seemingly long before me and always stayed much later than I usually did.

“Come on. I’ll take you home.”

I stifled my surprise at his offer. Following him as he started leaving without waiting for my answer.

“Wait, I can’t ask you-“

“Do you have another ride?”

“Well, no.”

“Then I might as well. Besides, I don’t mind.”

I agreed, if only because I really didn’t know how else I would get home. I could have called someone, maybe Hanna, but I would have felt awful dragging her out of her house on Christmas Eve to come get me. So, I quietly fell into step with Yoongi, trying really hard to not think about being alone in a car with him. Not to mention he’s going to find out where I live. Which is more information than a majority of our other coworkers knew about me. Yoongi’s car wasn’t what I expected. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I didn’t know for sure what I was expecting. But it was spotless. To the point where I wondered if it was brand new. Slipping inside I couldn’t help but sneak a look into the backseat. Also just as spotless.

“Something wrong?” Yoongi asked, looking back there himself just as I turned back around.

“No. I guess I’m just surprised at how clean it is. Don’t most guys keep at least a spare set of shoes or a gym bag or something in the back?”

He chuckled, shrugging. “Maybe. But I’m not most guys. Then again, you already knew that.”

My breath caught as he shut the door behind him. Feline-like eyes flitting over to me smugly.

“I- what?”

“I noticed you watch me a lot.” He titled his head. “Is it because you’re simply curious, or something more?”

I tried hard to fight the blush. Being called out so bluntly was true Yoongi fashion, but I wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of it.

“Something more like what?” I laughed nervously, attempting to play off the suddenly tense atmosphere.

He had ditched his glasses back in the office. Leaving no barrier between the intensity of his gaze and my own. I was so used to seeing them on him, but he was just as handsome without them. Maybe even more so. Though I’d be hard pressed to choose. His tongue poked against the inside of his cheek before slipping out to wet his lips like I had seen him do a million times before. The habit that wreaks me a million times over every time he does it.

“I think you’ve known me long enough to know I don’t like tip toeing around an issue, so I’ll be honest for the sake of not wasting each other’s time. I’m… attracted to you, to put it mildly. I won’t lie and say that the glances you sneak at me every day haven’t been wishful thinking on my part whether they mean more than just innocent observation. At least, I’m hoping not.”

I swallowed hard, words leaving me as I absorbed everything he was disclosing to me.

“I didn’t miss the way you just knew what kind of coffee I drink. Or how you kept using work as an excuse to stay with me tonight. And it damn sure didn’t escape me how flustered you were earlier sitting next to me.”

His voice dropped lower with every exposure. All the things I had thought I’d been sly about throughout the evening. I should have known Yoongi would notice. Nothing ever got past him. He shifted in his seat, leaning into his elbow perched on the middle console as another smug smirk quirked one edge of his lips. Deliciously damp lips. That were pink and soft looking.

“Am I wrong?” He purred, eyes roaming my features and possibly lingering on my mouth like I was his.

Though he phrased it as a question. Something in me told me he knew he wasn’t. I slowly shook my head, the movement feeling disembodied even as his smirk widened, flashing a gummy smile that utterly melted me.

“I didn’t say anything earlier because I was worried it would be wildly inappropriate for me to ask in the office. Not to mention I had to be sure first, but I’d give anything to be able to kiss you right now.”

“We’re technically not in the office anymore.” I whispered, leaning into him before I could chicken out.

“That we’re not.” He murmured, closing the distance between us.

I could have died and gone to heaven with the way it felt to kiss him. Months I had spent day dreaming of what it would feel like and now I was actually experiencing it. His lips were soft. Thicker than I had thought them to be, but they felt perfect against my own. The butterflies it sent fluttering within me flapping that much harder when his hand came up to cup the back of my neck. His thumb hooking under my jaw to tilt my head just enough to the side for him to deepen the kiss. This was a fantasy come true for me. Although none of my fantasies had ever taken place in his car, it didn’t matter to me.

I fell into his kiss. Refusing to let the two of us part for even a moment in case it turned out to be a dream. I wouldn’t put it past my lonely self to have conjured something like this up. It wouldn’t be the first time and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last either. As if testing it, I reached out to wrap my fingers around the fabric of Yoongi’s coat. The thick material feeling real enough, but I wasn’t entirely convinced. Letting my hand wander, I slipped my fingers under it, trailing them across his button-up and soaking in the warmth his skin offered beneath it. He pulled back reluctantly, his breaths coming out just a little harsher much like mine.

“We should stop now otherwise I won’t be able to.”

Somewhere deep within me, some part of me might have been screaming at me to heed his advice. That if I let things continue there was a chance I might regret it later. The problem though was that the rest of me squandered that voice, and I was positive that even if nothing besides this one night happened between us, I wouldn’t regret it. Not even a little.

“Don’t stop.”

Secretly hoping he wouldn’t insist we stop; I pulled him to me again. This kiss was feverish. My body floating on cloud nine still in disbelief that I was kissing Yoongi. And he was kissing back. Some of my most frequent daydreams playing out right now. I can’t believe I was getting a chance to taste those same lips I watched him lick so many times over. His lips slot with mine perfectly, never letting more than an inch or two between us in any given moment even as he helped me shed his coat. The cramped space making the task ten times harder than it should be. The sharp sound of his horn pierced the empty parking garage, his elbow laying into it while he fought to rid himself of his coat. I couldn’t help but laugh when we both jumped, our eyes immediately scanning the vicinity even though the chances of anyone else being around this late on Christmas Eve was slim.

“Maybe we should move to the back. There’s more room.” I suggested, hoping this was still going where I thought it was.

“Yeah.” He agreed, glancing back there and nodding. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

I thought there would be more room to maneuver and in theory, I suppose there was a little without the obstruction of separate seats, console, and steering wheel, but the space was still cramped leaving Yoongi and I no other choice except to practically be on top of one another. Not that I was complaining. Especially as his lean body hovered over mine, connecting our mouths while I tried to discard my own coat. As much as I wanted to savor this experience and fully explore Yoongi while I could, the location we decided upon wasn’t exactly practical for that type of lovemaking.

My desire for him ran beyond the point of simply waiting. If I really thought about it, I could probably say that I’d been waiting for months. Even when I tried to distract myself with all those awful social group dates Hanna would drag me to on occasion, everything just came back to Yoongi. He filled my mind during the day when I was forced to work in such close proximity to him and filled my dreams at night when I went home alone. It didn’t matter how much I tried to deny it any time Hanna brought it up, Yoongi was the one man I was convinced I would never have.

At least, I thought so.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, lips alighting every inch of my skin he exposed as he unbuttoned my top.

He dragged his lips over the swells of my breasts, tongue darting out for a taste and leaving me in shambles. Thinking it a little unfair that I was the only one mildly exposed, I reached for him, my shaky fingers trying to make quick work of the buttons of his own shirt. He didn’t seem to mind my struggle, taking the extra minutes it afforded him to worship more of my body with his mouth while tugging my top off me. My breath left me on a harsh exhale when he sank his teeth into the flare of my hips. Not because it hurt, but the way the action itself was so primal, as if he were marking me, skyrocketed my arousal. Something about him laying his claim incredibly sexy. He groaned, sucking on the skin he nibbled on, his hands making quick work to rid me of my pants. I haphazardly kicked my heels off, letting them fall into the floorboard.

“This really wasn’t how I expected tonight to go.” He admitted, chuckling under his breath.

“Me neither.”

Yoongi ditched my pants, leaning forward to plant another hard kiss against my lips before pulling away again.

“Before we get too far into this, I want to tell you that I had planned on asking you to spend Christmas day with me.”

“You can still ask me.” I laughed, working to unbuckle his belt. “Later.”

“Later is good. I’m okay with later.”

I raised my head to meet him this time. Every kiss we shared should have made him more real. Instead, I still felt as if this was some dream I’d wake up from any second. My hands sought him out, touching the bare skin of his chest and sides letting his warmth seep into me. Something I wouldn’t feel if this was simply a dream. I shouldn’t have been able to feel the chill of the air either, but even that was beginning to quickly dissipate with our bodies so close to one another.

Suddenly, Yoongi cursed against my lips.

“I don’t have a condom.”

“My purse. There’s one in the side pocket if you can reach it up front.”

I let him go long enough for him to stretch between the seats, grabbing my bag from the front floorboard.

“I don’t know whether I should be grateful or not.” He teased, biting his bottom lip to fight the smile forming. “Do you do this often enough to warrant keeping condoms on hand?”

I smacked his side. “Of course not. I like to be safe, not sorry. You could at least be thankful that I was prepared. You weren’t.”

“You’re right. I’ll be sure to carry one with me around you from now on.”

“You cheeky jerk.”

He laughed, finally finding what he was looking for. He tore it open, tossing the wrapper away claiming he’ll find it later. He didn’t bother undressing all the way. He only pushed his trousers down enough to free himself before sliding the thin piece of rubber over his length. My excitement buzzed in my lower abdomen like a live wire. Because it had been a while since I’d had sex, or just because it was Yoongi, I couldn’t say for sure, but I’d be willing to bet that it was mostly Yoongi.

“You’re sure?”

“I didn’t get naked with you in the backseat of your car to back out now.”

He chuckled, settling himself as comfortably as he could between my thighs with the minimal space we had.

“Man, you’re feisty when you’re horny. I kind of like it.”

I could have snapped back at him, but he chose that second to press against my opening. The head of his cock nudging against me, stretching me for the rest of him. I bit my lip hard, stifling any comeback I might have managed. Nothing but a soft moan leaving me as he filled me. His tongue darted out to wet his lips again, one hand wrapping behind my knee to spread me wider, hooking my calf in front of the driver’s seat. The additional room allowed him to push into me deeper, his hips nearly flush with mine.

“We’re going to have to choose our next location better.” He groaned, slowly retreating before sinking into me again. “I know you can take more of me.”

I nodded, unable to form a coherent thought let alone a sentence. The ache inside me was unbearable, the need for release leaving me desperate. I couldn’t do much else other than beg him to fuck me. I could worry about taking it slow another time. Yoongi’s mouth attached to mine again, swallowing my wanton cries for him to go faster. One of his hands gripped my thigh, keeping me open and still for his hips to drive into my own, his other palm hit the door behind my head to support himself while his cock ruined me.

I whimpered into him, that sinful tongue of his tracing the fullness of my bottom lip before he bit it much like he had my hip earlier. It was too much and not enough all at once. He drilled into me, almost completely dressed while I laid almost completely bare under him. Fucking me in his car that was parked in a public space under the very building we worked in. A fact that I was sure would be obvious with how the car rocked with his rough thrusts and the windows fogged with our heavy breathing. If anyone cared to be around at this hour and stumbled upon us, they would know.

That thought was more exciting than it was terrifying. Soft curses left his lips, the fingers wrapped around my thigh digging in harder and every stroke of his hips into mine became frantic. His cock swelling within me, stretching me more and leaving me full of him. There was nothing left of me except him. Where I ended, he began. In body and heart. My feelings for him had extended beyond a mere crush for a while. I just hadn’t realized the extent of it until now.

“Yoongi.” My voice came out broken, the pleasure he inflicted affecting me down to my vocal cords.

“I know baby. Me too.” He murmured, kissing me again.

He let go of my leg, slipping his hand between our bodies in search of my clit. The long fingers I watched readjust his glasses hundreds of times before swirling over my most sensitive flesh, coaxing my orgasm from me. I choked on that wave of release, my knees locking around his hips to keep him there as he drank in my cries. His hips stuttered, fighting against my hold before he spilled into the condom, a groan maybe even louder than mine leaving him. He dropped his head onto my shoulder, panting heavily. We both laid there, neither of us willing to pull away just yet.

It wasn’t exactly comfortable, and I could feel just how much of a mess I was down there, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I’d probably gladly lay for the rest of my life if it meant I wouldn’t have to let him go. I sighed softly, running my fingers through his hair. He hummed, turning his head to run kisses up my neck and jaw before finding my lips.

“Come back to my place. Stay the night with me and tomorrow too.”

“It technically is tomorrow.” I giggled, noticing how it was well past midnight now.

“Then spend today with me and I can have tomorrow still.”

“You want to spend your whole break with me?”

“I’d like to spend the rest of my year with you. Maybe even the next one too.”

“That’s a lot of time together you know. We’ll be seeing each other at work and outside of it.”

He smirked, brushing a piece of hair away from my face.

“Good. Maybe that means I won’t miss you so much anymore.”

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