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What if...? (2021- ) // Episode 2

Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa aka Star-Lord

moral of the story

pairing: bucky x black!reader

summary: bucky has been distant your entire relationship and you finally find out why

warnings: mentions of alcoholism, cheating, harsh language, violence (hitting and shoe throwing)

a/n: now this is coming from a place of hurt on my part bc i’m dwelling over a past heartbreak but i felt like bucky was a good character to do this with. i know bucky would never but just for the sake of this he did.

not proofread!!

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i remember the day he asked me out, i would have been what you described the happiest girl in the world.

if i had know what the future held maybe i would have never seen him again after the first date.

through out my entrie relationship with bucky he was distant, i knew he had his reasons but at some point he had to make an effort. sadly he never did and each time i was left disappointed and disappointment at some point in time leads to anger.

the anger took a while to build up, approximately two years. spending years of “loving” someone and ending up disappointed and angry was never how i expected my relationship to go, especially with the man who i thought was the one.

i initially thought it was my fault, that i was being too clingy. i distanced myself and i guess that gave him the ok to distance himself even more.

when he was away i found myself staying up and waiting for him to return, i stay up for days. days eventually turned into a week and a week turned into two. sometimes i thought he’d never return and honestly on some occasions i hoped he wouldn’t.

when he was home he wouldn’t talk to me, always looking at the tv with some sort of alcohol in his hand. in my attempts to talk to him he either completely block me out or tell me to go away once again leaving me disappointed.

i dont know why i stayed with him, i wanted to fix whatever was happening but talking to bucky was like talking to a brick wall. i also was in love or so i thought, maybe it was a placebo for the hurt and pain i felt.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i walked into the kitchen to see bucky sitting at the island with a glass of brown liquor in his hand, “we need to talk” he looks at me confused “about what?”. the clueless look on his face makes me angry “about us bucky because clearly there’s something wrong” i say and he shrugs “i think our relationship is completely fine” he takes a sip out of his glass as he looks at me.

“of course you don’t see the fucking problem because you are the fucking problem” he looks at me shocked “i’m the problem?” he’s in complete disbelief. “yes bucky you are you’re never here, you’re always gone and it’s been like that for the last two years and you don’t know how much it affects me because when you are here you stare at the tv like a zombie” the tears are hot as they fall down my face.

he stands up and walks towards me “did you ever think that you could be the problem?” he practically spits in my face as he yells at me “you were so fucking annoying my god asking about dates and trying to do this and that you never stopped, i never loved you shit i barely even liked you steve was the one who talked me into asking you out anyway” i look at him shocked as the words leave his mouth.

“you peice of fucking shit” i yell as i hit his chest “i hate you” over and over again, i yell this words as i continue to hit his chest, i don’t stop until someone pulls me always “let me go i wasn’t done” i struggle to get out of the strong arms that were holding me.

“she was good you know she was way better than you were she made me feel so good” i take my shoe off and throw it at him in complete anger but he dodges it. “you know i was actually planning on ending this earlier so we could get hitched and make her my old lady” he continues and i just cry in the arms that are holding me.

i didn’t want to believe anything he said but it’s so hard not to, part of me wished this was some sick joke but it wasn’t.

“i hope it doesn’t last, you don’t deserve any ounce of fucking happiness coming your way because you drained me of mine, i hope she cheats on you too yeah get a piece of you own medicine” i look dead at him “karmas a bitch and i hope it bites you right in your ass” he just stands there and it pisses me off even more “get out” i look at him “get the fuck out now” i throw my other shoe at him and this time it hits him but it doesn’t nothing.

he walks away and i immediately break into a fit of sobs in the pair of arms that are holding me, the placebo had run it’s course.

i never really knew the man i “loved” for three years but my mother told me young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes but that’s good because in the end it’s better for me because that’s the moral of the story.

Am I the only one who wonders why there isn’t more black oc or black!reader fics for peter Parker. It’s obvious what his type is! So why are most of them made for white girls?

PETER PARKER IN SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

once i see shang-chi i’ll be putting out fics about him and i’m so excited