Daaaaaamn Like, I Feel For Jaemin But Sometimes I Just Wanna Hit Them In The Head For Being So Dense

Daaaaaamn like, i feel for jaemin but sometimes i just wanna hit them in the head for being so dense like ugh i need more and i need it now

the way life goes — six(pt.2). (n.jm)

PAIRING: na jaemin x reader GENRE: smut, angst, fluff, college au WORD COUNT: 14.3k

SYNOPSIS: you finally get inside jaemin's mind. flashbacks in jaemin's point of view could change everything.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: (majority of this is a flashback chapter but then it continues with the present time in jaemin's pov), jaemin's thought process can come across as confusing and it will remain confusing, he goes through a lot of up and down moments, heavy mentions of panic attacks and anxiety, emotional and lost jaemin, the return of you know who, explicit content, unprotected sex, daddy kink, choking, light make-outs

A.N: i advise you to read six(pt.1) first. six will now come in three parts.

[series m.list]

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒]

Jaemin doesn’t know if you know, but he knows you’ve been avoiding him for almost a week. 

You’ve been acting weird since you came back from getting breakfast the other morning, refusing to meet his gaze and even blowing off the promised movie you’d both watch, going straight to bed for a nap with no spoken words. You told him you were tired, that you were too exhausted from sleeping on the sofa and that you just needed your bed, but he didn’t believe that. It was a weak excuse, but he didn’t want to question it, not when he could see you didn’t want to discuss anything further with him. He still followed you though, he even came to nap with you and held you tightly as you slept, just for comfort, just to let you know that he was there for you. 

It irks him a little that you didn’t tell him what was wrong that morning and now with you ignoring him like the plague, he was getting frustrated, maybe even a little annoyed. 

Truthfully, he was starting to get busy with his photography projects, one of his finals coming up soon that desperately needed to be done but he still tried to make time for you. He called you almost every night and, thankfully, you answered a few of them. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t a long phone call, lasting around 10-15 minutes, enough time to get the both of you off whenever you called each other horny. 

Other times he just wanted to talk. He wanted to ask about your day, about your assignments, wanting to know what you’re working on and if you’ve eaten already, but it never happened. Either the call would be cut short due to you yawning or the both of you being too sexually frustrated to hold a full conversation.

You both haven't slept with each other in a week and it’s fair to say that he’s a little desperate, but it's pushed aside by the intense curiosity on why you've been ignoring him. He won't admit that to you though. Not right now. He doesn't want to seem pushy in trying to get inside your head.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do for your final project?” He hears Junghoon ask from beside him and Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, not really caring about the final project this moment in time when he’s got his phone in his hands, bringing up your recent texts. Short and straight to the point, different from how you both usually text. His tongue prods his cheek in anger. “Trouble in paradise, huh?”

Jaemin raises his head and turns to look at Junghoon who’s a little too close to him, the deadpan expression on Jaemin’s face is enough for the latter to slowly move back in his chair, giving Jaemin his respected space with a gulp. He holds intense eye contact with Junghoon before bringing his attention back to his phone, thumbs vigorously tapping against the screen to send you a message.

jaemin: can u come over after classes today jaemin: i want to see u jaemin: i need to see u

you: what abt your photography projects you: i thought u will be busy all week too

jaemin: fuck that. jaemin: i want to be busy with you

you: idk jae..

jaemin: come jaemin: i mean it

“So… is there trouble in paradise?”

“You like to invade people's privacy a lot” Jaemin points out, shutting off his phone and shoving it inside his pocket as he side glances at Junghoon who seems a little offended at his jab. “You’re not good at giving people their personal space, are you?”

“I wouldn’t call it that” Junghoon frowns. “I’m just very intrigued and—”

“Nosey?”

Junghoon jumps straight in to attack, “My life is boring, okay? I’m living vicariously through you right now. You are sadly the only thing that’s entertaining in my life and you’re just going to have to deal with it”

Jaemin’s brows raise in amusement, the corner of his lips twitching as he tries to hide his smile and Junghoon huffs, finding defeat in the lack of Jaemin’s answer as he turns back to his computer, lip jutting out into a pout as he scrolls through his photography files.

This time, Jaemin smiles, hand moving over his mouse and watching the cursor glide across the screen. “There’s no trouble. We’ve just been too busy to see each other lately”

The sound of Junghoon’s chair scraping against the floor makes Jaemin chuckle, seeing Junghoon excitedly move closer in the corner of his eye, leaning on his elbow as he, yet again, invades Jaemin’s personal space but he holds back on any comments this time, allowing Junghoon to have his moment.

“Yeah?” Junghoon grins interestedly. “When was the last time you saw each other?”

“The day after Sunwoo and Yeeun’s party”

“That was almost a week ago” Junghoon gapes, his brows furrowing. Jaemin hums with a nod. “That’s tough… I mean, I’m not even with anyone, but if I wasn’t able to see my girlfriend for—“

“We’re not together” Jaemin cuts in and Junghoon blinks in surprise. “We’re just sleeping together”

“What?” Junghoon whisper-shouts, eyes wide as he leans closer to Jaemin. “With the way you guys were acting at the party, it seemed like you were more than ‘just sleeping together’”

“We’re exclusive” Jaemin adds. “Exclusive friends with benefits. That’s all it is”

“Did you become exclusive before or after that threeway kiss between her, Jeno and Miwoo had?” Junghoon teases, wiggling his brows at Jaemin who looks far less than impressed, narrowing his eyes at Junghoon and lips curling into a grimace to which the latter cackles at. “l’m kidding, dude. Relax…  But this ‘exclusive-friends-with-benefits’ must be pretty serious, huh? I mean… when you and Eunbin—“

“You’re getting a little too personal, Junghoon” Jaemin warns, giving Junghoon a look that makes him cower back slightly, instantly throwing up his hands to say he means no harm but Jaemin’s already triggered, no longer wanting to discuss the topic anymore.

“I didn’t mean it like that” Junghoon frowns apologetically. “I’m sorry, man…”

“It’s fine” Jaemin’s answer is short, lips pressing together in a tight line and Junghoon sighs, pushing his chair back into its original spot as he focusses back on his work, allowing himself to accept Jaemin’s blunt answer of ‘fine’. But it wasn’t fine. It never was fine. 

• • •

“Shit” Jaemin curses at himself, as he stares at the smallest of stains on his sweater from the two iced coffees he’s holding on a tray, having spilt some on himself as he tries to open the front door with his hands full. He manages to do it after a few failed attempts, choosing in using his elbow to push down the door handle and kick it open with his foot before using the same one to close it again, readjusting his camera in one hand and making sure the beverages are stable on the tray as he walks through the house.

He goes to head straight upstairs to wait for you but he comes to a halt when he hears your laugh coming from the kitchen. Jaemin didn’t expect you to be here so early and he can’t stop the smile that spreads across his lips from hearing your laugh, heading straight for the sound but stops in the kitchen doorway when he sees you accompanied by Jeno and Jeno holding your hand. 

His face twists in confusion, watching as Jeno squeezes your hand gently with the most reassuring smiles he has ever seen. His brows pull together as wonders on what Jeno’s reassuring you about, but the way you both laugh together as you pull your hand from Jeno’s and he chases it, that’s when Jaemin can’t help but clear his throat to grab the attention in the room.

Jaemin doesn’t take much notice of Jeno looking at him when he’s got you staring at him. His heart flutters slightly as you make eye contact with him, a weird feeling washing over him that almost makes him feel a little bit uncomfortable, but he decides to welcome it with open arms if it means he gets to be with you today. He’s missed you, more than he’d care to ever admit. He wants to talk to you, to finally ask about your day, to finally ask where you’ve been and how you’ve been holding up with your classes… but he wants to do it alone. He doesn’t want Jeno here.

Jeno, being the saint he is, understands the message Jaemin silently gives as he raises from his chair at the kitchen island, shoving his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants as he excuses himself, mumbling about how he was going to see Miwoo and Jaemin could almost kiss him right then and there as a thank you, but his gratitude slowly slips away when Jeno makes eye contact with him before dipping past, a quiet ‘you-need-to-talk’ type of look that leaves Jaemin even more confused than he already was coming in earlier.

It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to ask you to come upstairs to his room, muttering a small thank you as you open the door for him due to his hands being preoccupied and you even close it yourself which he’s thankful for again, carefully putting down his camera on his desk along with the coffee tray and handing one over to you, proudly showing the ‘iced toasted vanilla latte’ sticker thats plastered across the back for you to see.

You take it out of his grasp. “Thank you”

The corner of Jaemin’s lips turn into a frown as he realises you didn’t recognise he’s got you your favourite drink, feeling slightly defeated as his shoulders shrink, grabbing his own coffee with a small mutter of, “You’re welcome”.

It’s quiet between you and Jaemin, too quiet. It makes his head overcrowded with too many thoughts and questions, especially some regarding what was going on between you and Jeno downstairs. Was Jaemin jealous? Not exactly, he’d like to argue. He knows how close you and Jeno are. He knows that the two of you have been friends much longer than you have with any of the others… so it’s obvious you would be close. The threeway kiss he saw you, Jeno and Miwoo participate in at the party was definitely something that’s unable to escape his mind… but he knows you were all drunk. None of you were sober. It was just for fun.

So what exactly is the problem? He’s secretly nosey, for starters. He wants to know what you both were talking about earlier and, even though he doesn’t want to admit to it, he was confused on why Jeno was holding your hand and giving you reassurance… because what would you need reassurance about? It worries Jaemin a lot, he wants to be the one to reassure you. Is there something you’re hiding from him?

“What were you and Jeno talking about before I came in earlier?”

He doesn’t miss the way your eyes widen slightly before relaxing your shoulders. “It’s nothing important… He was just cheering me up, that’s all. My assignments are just getting to my head, they’re stressing me out a little”

Oh. Jaemin frowns at that, a ugly feeling settling in his chest at the thought of you being so stressed and worked up over your assignments, as he reaches his hand down to affectionately caress the back of your head, pushing you forwards carefully to lean down and press a chaste kiss to your forehead. Your frown matches his and he can’t help but feel as though there’s more than what you’re letting on, but he doesn’t want to stress you out anymore, he doesn’t want to see you be caught up in your worries.

“You work too hard, hm?” Jaemin coos in that voice he knows that you hate so much, but it makes you smile and his chest soars when he sees that exact smile creeping onto your face. “You need to chill out… your health is more important than some assignments”

“I know, but—”

“You’re smart and you know exactly what you’re doing” He cuts you off, not allowing you to make up any excuse. His hand resumes in caressing the back of your head, rings getting caught in your hair which you both snicker at, but he goes back into serious mode as he speaks, “Chill out with me today, okay? You can even nap on my bed if you want to… it’s all yours”

“All mine?”

“All yours”

• • •

Despite telling you to chill on his bed, Jaemin couldn’t exactly do that himself due to a photography project he had to work on. He did lay with you for a bit, trying to get you to talk about your day and what you’ve been doing since you’ve been so busy, but the one worded answers and the simple replies got under his skin a little. It seemed like you weren’t interested in having a conversation with him, to which he blamed you being so stressed over your assignments and potentially too tired. He yearned for you to talk to him, to tell him everything that's going on inside of your head and that he could help you… but with the lack of communication, Jaemin gave up.

He sits at his desk, the sound of him clicking his mouse and sighing to himself about mistakes being the only noises that break the silence you’re both stuck in. He glances over his shoulder a few times during his work, seeing you rotate between sipping the last remains of your drink, playing games on your phone and laying against the pillows while staring up at his ceiling mindlessly. Jaemin even looks up at the ceiling, wondering what’s so fascinating about his white ceiling that you can’t even find the words to talk to him. 

It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to crack, pausing his work to swivel around in his chair to face you, the quietness and the lack of talking becoming too much for him to handle. He feels frustrated, horny, annoyed, maybe even a little upset.

“Okay, what’s going on?” He breaks the silence as he stands, abandoning his project as he makes his way over to you on the bed. You still don’t look at him which he sighs at, standing in between your legs that hang off the edge of the bed, his hands touch your thighs, kneading and groping the skin. His gaze turns hard as he looks down at you. “You’ve been weird this past week and there’s no point in trying to deny it either… I know you. What’s been going on?”

“Nothing” You mumble to him distractingly, eyes dazed. “I’m just tired”

“Do you expect me to really believe that?” He quirks his brow, tuting with a shake of his head as his hands grope your thighs harder, thumbs pushing into the flesh. “You think I haven’t noticed you actively avoiding me?”

“W-what?! No, I—” You stutter immediately, struggling to find the right words. He’s got you. So you have been avoiding him on purpose. “Jae, I—”

“I just want to play with you” His voice whines, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout at the thought of you avoiding him all this time. He feels annoyed and a little taken back, but with how horny he’s been feeling and seeing you stare up at him the way you are, he lets his annoyance slip away. You whisper his name, but he hardly pays any attention as he speaks again, “How am I supposed to play with you if you keep avoiding me and hiding from me, hm? That’s not nice… is it, baby?”

“No” You shake your head, your own arousal pooling in your eyes and Jaemin fights the urge to grin at how turned on you are right now.

“Can I play with you now?” He asks and you’re quick to nod your head, just as desperate as he is. “Then open your legs for me, baby”

The way you open your legs to invite him in makes Jaemin grin wickedly, gripping your thighs tight in his grasp as he pulls you down the bed. He grunts softly when the bulge in his shorts presses against you, his teeth digging into his bottom lip when he feels you lift your hips to rub yourself over his covered cock, the grin on his face widening. You’re so desperate for him… it’s cute.

You lean up on your elbows but Jaemin is quick to push your back down as he crawls on top, hovering over you with a tilt of his head. Something stirs inside of him as he sees the expression on your face, eyes wide and needy, mouth parting with small gasps escaping your lips. It’s something he’s felt before when he was with Eunbin, but it was always pushed to the side, something he couldn’t explore further into… but he would be willing to dive further if you were up for it too.

He swats your hand away when you try to touch his face and you obey, resting your hand at your sides despite him feeling the way your hips continue to rub against his. He sighs at your reaction with a tut, running his hand up your body and over your chest, ghosting over your neck.

“Look at you… so desperate” He rasps, tracing his index finger over your throat carefully, watching your reactions for any uncertainty or hesitations. Seeing none, Jaemin’s even more careful when he decides to wrap his hand around your throat, waiting for you to pull away at any moment but you melt into his grasp with a gasp. The corner of his lips twitch excitedly and he adds slight pressure, feeling you gulp beneath his touch.

He forgets for a few moments about the rings on his fingers hurting you and he panics, getting ready to move his hand away and get rid of the rings until he hears you moan. A pathetic sounding high pitched moan that sends his head into a frenzy. His mouth drops open in shock, never having heard that sound come from you before but he regains himself, shutting his mouth as he wants nothing more than to have you make that noise again.

“Baby, I’ll give you everything you want…” Jaemin says as he presses his thumb against the side of your throat, his hips beginning to rut against yours. He hesitates before he says his next words, but he wants to test the waters with you. “There’s no need to be a bratty little bitch”

“Fuck” He hears you moan out and he feels giddy, trying his hardest not to break character to giggle. He watches as your fingers curl around his necklace to drag him down, puckering your lips to press them against Jaemin’s but he’s quick to pull back, to keep a distance between you both.

“Apologise first” He says with a smirk, glancing down at your lips that press together tightly. “Apologise, and I’ll give it to you”

“I’m sorry”

His heart warms at that, fighting the urge to actually smile at your apology. He was hurt with you avoiding him, even though you must’ve had your real reasons that Jaemin will wait for you to feel comfortable enough to tell him, but he was still hurt.

“Sorry what?” Jaemin presses, wanting to go over the line and see if you’d be comfortable enough in delving deep in one of his fantasies. You’re quiet now, which makes Jaemin a little nervous. He doesn’t want to push you too far nor does he want to make you uncomfortable. He briefly remembers a conversation with you, how the two of you should be open with your kinks and fantasies and should at least try anything once.

He can see the cogs turn in your head as you figure out exactly what he wants you to say. You don’t show any disgust or hesitancy. You’re breathings laboured and Jaemin can still feel you gently humping his leg like a bitch in heat. He smiles at that.

“Baby…” He calls out tauntingly, adding extra pressure to the grip he has around your neck and you whine. “Are you going to say it?”

“I’m sorry…” You whimper quietly, your fingers tugging at his necklace again to pull him closer and Jaemin obliges, nodding his head, so eager for you to mutter that word. “Daddy”

Fuck. He’s done for. “That’s my good girl”

• • •

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you” Jaemin mutters in your ears as his arms slip under your body to hold you to his chest securely. He feels terrible when your face screws up in pain from the soreness that spreads through your body and he presses his lips to your temple as he lifts you up from his bed, cooing in your ear at your whining. He’s careful as he carries you into the bathroom, the activities from a few moments before taking a toll on his own body but he pushes it to the side to focus on you.

He’s gentle when he sits you down on the bathroom counter, leaving you for a brief moment to run the water to fill up the bathtub. Jaemin comes back to stand in between your thighs, grabbing the packet of wet wipes from the side and pulling a few sheets out and leaving them on the side for use.

Jaemin cups your face as he gently wipes at the mascara that has smudged around your eyes, face full of concentration as he’s careful not to poke and prod at any sensitive areas or even accidentally jab your eye. He’s seen this done by Jeno multiple times for Miwoo and he’s glad he’s taken some mental notes otherwise he’s sure he would’ve messed up horribly by now. He mutters a quiet apology as he sees you wince when his thigh accidentally knocks against yours, creating too much movement in your legs which you’ve voiced how sore they are.

His hands drop down to your thighs to massage the aches and pains, watching your face intently for any show of discomfort but you’re smiling at him thankfully, head drooping low from tiredness but he makes a noise of disapproval, shaking his own head as he cups your face.

“Can you stay awake a little longer for me?” His voice is quieter than usual and it startles him slightly, feeling that unusual but familiar sinking feeling in his chest, but he ignores it to focus his attention more on you.

“Okay” You simply answer with a murmur, nodding your head. Jaemin whispers a thank you as he presses a soft smooch to your lips, pulling back before he could even allow himself to get carried away in the feeling of your lips. He sees you trying to sway him back in but a nose of protest rumbles from his chest, shaking his head as he silently tells you no. You oblige with a pout but the smile soon comes back when Jaemin gently pushes his forehead against yours.

He moves back to briefly kiss your temple, arms slipping around your body to haul you off of the bathroom counter to help you into the bath, squeezing himself in behind you and resting your back against his chest comfortably.

Jaemin takes his time washing you, his hands light and careful whenever he touches your body, scrubbing you clean with your favourite scented soap that he kept in his bathroom. He coos in your ear when he reaches in between your thighs, cleaning away yours and his cum that sticks to your skin and even when you flinch away in pain, he calms you down, humming softly to distract you from the aches and pains. 

That sinking feeling in his chest gets deeper, his head beginning to swirl with unspeakable thoughts and he finds it a little hard to breathe now, the anxiety that's slowly rising within him getting worse and Jaemin finishes cleaning you up before cleaning himself as quick as possible, soaping up his body and washing it away while trying to keep you awake, wanting you to be in bed to get a good night's sleep.

Jaemin climbs out of the bath first, grabbing a towel to secure around his waist before helping you out, covering your body in the most comfiest of towels and guiding you back into his bedroom. It doesn’t take Jaemin too long to dry your body, even trying his best to tie your hair out of your face, getting frustrated at the little baby hairs that slip out from the hair tie but he leaves it, dressing you in one of his old shirts and allowing you to get comfy under the covers with small comforting pats on your back.

You fall asleep in a matter of seconds which always seems to impress Jaemin, watching your chest rise and fall with slow and steady breaths. He, admittedly, finds you beautiful like this, bare faced and at peace in his bed. His fingers reach up to trace across your delicate features, smoothing over your eyebrows and eyelids, over your nose and across your lips. He turns his hand over to brush his knuckles over your cheek and down your jaw but he retracts when you shift in your sleep and yet again, that sinking feeling. That dark, deep sinking feeling is back again.

Jaemin shuffles back from you and off the bed to grab a fresh pair of boxers out of his drawers, pulling them up his legs and resting low on his hips, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, fighting off the heavy weighted thoughts that rest in the back of his mind. He collapses down at the edge of the bed with a huff, blunt nails pinching at his thighs to regain control of himself, trying his hardest to listen to the rain that pelts heavily against his window along with your steady breathing. It works for a little, his hands leaving his thighs to come together, mindlessly fiddling with the rings as he now stares out past his drawn blackout curtains, dark and gloomy grey skies staring back at him.

Something pulls at his chest again and drops low into his stomach, but it’s different this time, because he feels nothing but everything all at once. His body feels so foreign to him and he even slowly glances down at his hands, flexing his fingers to make sure all ten digits are intact and that he’s conscious. You have more or less fingers when you’re lucid dreaming, he reminds himself. He slowly raises his hand and places it on his chest, above his heart. You’re still beating. 

If everything was working normally, why does he feel so shitty? Why does he feel so empty and lost? The sex wasn’t bad, it was the best sex he’s had in awhile and he was thankful you were open to indulge in one of his fantasies. He enjoyed it and most importantly to him, you enjoyed it… so what was wrong with him? Jaemin sighs in frustration, rubbing his face tiredly as he pushes himself off the bed to walk over to his mini fridge beneath his desk to grab a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a few hefty gulps, the coldness soothing his tight throat.

His eyes look around the room, to his computer, to the polaroid picture, to the bed, to you, to the ring sitting on his bedside table. To that ring. 

He stares at the dainty jewellery for a while longer as he gulps more water, finishing the bottle in seconds before his bare feet drag across the floorboards to his the item in question, carefully picking it up and examining it between his two fingers. His lips form in a straight line. Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing going on inside his head right now. It worries him a lot, knowing that every time he even spared a glance at the ring, there would be images popping up inside his head, past conversations echoing in his ears, dread and hurt filling his stomach.

It makes him sick.

“Jaemin?” He hears you groggily call out his name from beneath his blanket and he hears you shuffle around, undoubtedly looking for him. Your voice brings him comfort and it drags him back to reality, the thoughts that begin to overcrowd his mind disappear as fast as they came. He can breathe again.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” He doesn’t answer at first, instead he swallows thickly and closes his fist around the ring with a shaky breath, reaching down to rip open his bedside drawer and throw the ring inside, slamming it shut with a loud thump that has his ears ringing. Jaemin winces at the noise, hoping he didn’t affect your ears as much as it did his. 

He’s quiet climbing beside you in bed, crawling beneath the covers and resting his head on the pillow, turning to stare straight at you. Despite the only light in the room being the moonlight seeping through the gap in his curtain, he can see the curiosity and wonder pooling in your iris, a question laying on the tip of your tongue that he’s internally begging you not to ask yet. He’s not ready… and he’s worried about that. Will he ever be ready?

Jaemin exhales deeply, feeling the stress lift away from his body as his hand comes down to touch your cheek delicately, tracing over the skin before he messily tucks a strand of hair behind your ears, keeping it out of your face and away from your ears. His fingers come around to play with the ear that dangles prettily from your ears, smiling to himself when he realises you’ve forgotten to take it off before bed.

His eyes dart down to your lips, licking over his own just as he leans forward, caving into his urges of giving you a kiss, a kiss so gentle and soft that it makes Jaemin’s neck feel hot, especially with how your hand cups his face to keep him in place, holding him so carefully in the palm of your hands. It makes Jaemin’s heart melt.

He’s really missed you… and he hopes you missed him too.

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐎]

“Are you alright?” Jeno asks cautiously as he looks up from his phone, watching Jaemin mindlessly swirl the spoon around in his cereal, not paying attention to the milk that spills over the edge. “Jae?”

Jaemin hums, turning his head to Jeno who’s pointing at the mess and Jaemin’s gaze drops down, curses under his breath as he quickly grabs a napkin to wipe away the spillage, throwing the wet paper into the trash with a huff.

Jeno’s brows furrow worryingly, curious to what’s going on inside of Jaemin’s head as he shuts off his phone, leaning his arms on the kitchen table in front of him, giving Jaemin his full attention.

“Dude, what’s going on?”

“Nothing” He immediately answers, but his eyes shut in defeat as he realises that this is Jeno he’s talking to, knowing that he’s not the type to drop the subject so quickly. It’s been a few days since you came over and the feeling he experienced after having sex with you hasn’t fully disappeared, it’s been lingering on his mind ever since and eating him alive, along with the ring that’s locked away in his bedside drawer. “It’s hard to explain”

Jeno gets comfortable in his seat, offering Jaemin a gentle smile. “Try”

“I, uh—” Jaemin’s clears his throat. “I had sex with Y/N the other day, the day you guys were talking in here before I came home, and I… I don’t know, it was pretty intense, I guess. We dove into something for the first time and I think I lost myself for a while, things felt weird—I felt weird… emotionally”

"Postcoital Dysphoria"

Jaemin’s face turns blank, not understanding a word that came out of Jeno’s mouth. “What?”

Jeno chuckles, the corner of his lips twitching upwards in amusement. “It’s postcoital dysphoria. I’ve experienced it a few times with Miwoo when we had sex. It’s just something that sometimes happens when having good, intense sex… It’s normal, dude. You don’t have to worry about it, you’re fine”

“I am?” Jaemin questions and when Jeno laughs at his response, Jaemin’s face drops into another blank expression which has Jeno laughing even harder than before. “Jeno, come on, I’m serious”

“I’m serious too” Jeno grins, “You’re fine. Your mood just drops after using so much emotion and stuff when having sex. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve freaked out too wondering if something was wrong with me but it’s normal” Jeno pauses for a moment, the grin dropping from his face as he looks warily over at Jaemin. “Although, If you’re experiencing that a lot then maybe you should talk to—”

“It’s only happened once” Jaemin is quick to add in, watching as Jeno’s shoulders drop in relief. Jaemin purses his lips slightly, feeling his own relief weight off of his body knowing that everything was okay. “Thank you, by the way… for telling me about that”

“No problem” Jeno dismisses with a shake of his hand. “I’ve been there with Miwoo”

“Yeah?” Jaemin’s brow raises slightly, remembering Jeno even admitted to that earlier. “Where is Miwoo anyway? Doesn’t she usually come over earlier on Thursdays?”

Jaemin instantly notices that Jeno’s tongue prods against his cheek in annoyance and Jaemin takes this as a sign to sit down, pushing his bowl of cereal to the side as he looks at Jeno worryingly. The relationship Miwoo and Jeno have has always been complicated, even to Jaemin. They bicker a lot but they always make up at the end of the night. The dents on Jeno’s bedroom wall from his headboard can prove that. They don’t stay angry at each other for too long, and even when Jeno comes to Jaemin for his support and thoughts, he’s never been this annoyed… or upset.

“We’re on a break, for real this time” Jeno mumbles, making Jaemin frown at this new information. “We had this stupid argument on Tuesday after our date, about how I wanted to dye my hair blue for fun and she said no, so we bickered about that… but it turned into something bigger”

Jaemin dares to ask, “How big?”

“Very” Jeno sighs, rubbing his face and running his fingers through his growing mullet sadly. “I’ve been stressed these past few days about college and some other stuff that’s been going on in my head. My professor has been wanting me and my group partner, Jungwoo, to come up with these designs that have been burning me out and… I don’t know, I talked to Miwoo about it and I guess I just wanted some comfort and advice from her, but she just brushed it to the side and tried to sleep with me instead to make me feel better that way… I didn’t want that”

“So it caused an argument between you two?”

“Yeah” Jeno nods, raising his eyes to look at Jaemin with a saddened expression. “I said some things I regret, really regret. I called her selfish and inconsiderate of my feelings… I was angry. I didn’t mean it”

“I mean…” Jaemin exhales deeply, twiddling with his thumbs as he tries to find the right words to say. “As much as that girl tests me, she’s not selfish… sure, she can be a little inconsiderate sometimes, but I know Miwoo well enough to say that she probably wanted to sleep with you during that moment because that’s the only way she knows how to make you feel better”

Jeno’s brows furrow at that, “Ouch?”

“We both know it’s the truth” Jaemin shrugs. “Look, dude, you and Miwoo have been together for longer than I can remember and you’ve always resolved any problems or issues with sleeping together… You don’t talk. You don’t communicate with each other because, let’s face it, fucking is so much easier than talking. But maybe that’s what you need, you know? You need to just… talk”

Jaemin’s voice quietens down as his own words sink in, realising how much he needs to hear this himself. He needs to talk to you. He needs to be honest instead of using sex as a way to escape. He slumps back into his seat, biting down harshly on his inner cheek, anxiously picking at the skin around his fingernails as the words settle. He needs to talk to you.

The thought about opening up sounds scary to him, that uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of his belly when he realises talking to you about his past will open up mending wounds. He tries to convince himself that maybe opening up to you about his relationship with Eunbin will help him heal… but there’s always that little voice of doubt in the back of his head that tells him it will all go terribly wrong.

“You good over there?” Jeno asks with a slight teasing tone and Jaemin meets his eyes, nodding his head briefly. “You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine” Jaemin gives him a tight lipped smile as his hand reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone. Jeno watches as Jaemin’s thumbs tap against the screen, pulling up your contact and clicking the call icon, bringing the phone to his ear.

Jaemin’s bottom lip gets caught between his teeth, biting down on the skin nervously as he listens to the phone ring, wondering if you’re even awake or busy but his thoughts are soon answered when the ringing stops and your voice comes through.

“Hello?”

“Get dressed. I’m coming to get you in five minutes” He immediately gets into it, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, the sound echoing in his ears with each heavy thud.

“What?” Your confusion is clear, it makes him smile a little. “What are you talking about?”

“I want to see you. I’m also thirsty so I’m taking us to get some coffee or something… my treat” His eyes darts towards Jeno who's still watching him with a smile, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. “Just me and you. Get dressed”

“Okay, okay” He hears you laugh. “I’m hanging up”

“See you soon, baby” Jaemin lets out a shaky breath when you hang up, staring down at your contact for a little while before shoving his phone into his pocket. “Stop staring at me”

“Sorry” Jeno grins cheekily. “Just admiring the view”

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒]

During the entire trip to the café, Jaemin had completely forgotten about the reason why he called you in the first place, to focus on the peaceful conversation he was having with you and how you practically floated to the counter filled with pastries and cakes once you both walked inside.

He doesn’t blame you, the smell of coffee and baked goods is overwhelming, but he still laughs when he sees your fingers press against the glass cabinet where the desserts were showcased, his own hand raising to the back of your head and cooing at your behaviour to which you simply ignore.

“Welcome to 7 Dream Café” Jisung greets with little to no enthusiasm, clearly tired of having to use the same greeting over and over again whenever someone comes to the counter. “Can I take your order?”

“Do you have to say that every time we come here?” Jaemin asks, eyebrows raising in amusement.

“Sadly” Jisung mutters angrily, adjusting the dark blue pinny around his waist. “Apparently it’s a good look for the company to greet customers with the cafe’s name, makes it look like we’re professionals and all that shit”

“Did they say that or Chenle?”

Jisung pauses, blinks and his lips curl into a grimace. “Chenle”

“He’s probably fucking around with you” You tell him once your attention is brought away from the cakes. “Where is that little gremlin anyways?”

“Out the back teaching the new girl how to decorate the cakes. He nearly dumped a whole bowl of frosting over her head when she fucked up his flower design” Jisung snorts, not bothering to hide is amusement as he wipes the fake tears under his eyes.

“You seem way to happy about that” 

“I’m just glad it’s not me this time” Jisung grins happily as fingers tap against the touchscreen of the cash register at the most expert pace, briefly looking up at Jaemin. “You want your usual, yeah?”

Jaemin hums and nods his head, reaching for his card before tapping it against the glass cabinet. “And throw in two of those little cupcakes that she’s been eyeing up since we got here”

“Gotcha”

“Hey!”

Jaemin shushes you by pressing his finger to your lips, shaking his head with a smile before ordering you to go find a seat while he pays. You comply with slight hesitation and he watches as you head towards a table at the back before Jisung hands over the drinks. He taps his card against the reader before grabbing the drinks and following behind you, setting them down on the table as he sits opposite you.

He thanks Jisung once he comes over with the cakes before scurrying off to serve another customer and Jaemin grabs the fork, twirling it around his fingers as he examines the treat, deciding to cut off a corner piece and holding it out towards you to try first. The smile lingers on his face a little longer when he sees you beam and lean forwards to wrap your lips around the fork for the cake, humming in delight at the taste.

Jaemin brings the fork to his lips to suck off the remaining cream, keeping his eyes on you as he waits for your approval.

“Holy shit” He snickers at that and cuts off his own piece to try, only to widen his eyes in surprise at the taste that hits his tongue. He wasn’t a huge fan of cake, but the red velvet taste that hits his taste buds almost makes him change his mind completely. You grin at him from across the table. “It’s good, right? I’ve never tasted anything more delicious in my life”

“Eh…” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders as he takes in your form, eyes dipping low suggestively before a smirk appears on his lips, his mind overcrowded with the dirtiest thoughts and images. “I’ve tasted better”

• • •

“You know, you never told me about you”

Jaemin raises his head to glance at you across the table, brow lifting in curiosity at your words. “What do you mean?”

“About you… and Eunbin” There it was. The reason why he’s called you here in the first place. A sour taste forms in his mouth at the familiar name, tongue poking at his cheek, irritated at the thoughts and the feelings that come rushing back almost instantly.

His fingers tighten around his cup, the plastic crinkling beneath the force and he places it down before any damage could be done. He can tell you looking at him warily without even taking a peek at you and he breathes heavily through his nose.

“It’s just I’ve heard so much about her, you know? And I’ve heard how people talk about her…” You continue much to Jaemin’s dismay. “She seems really… sweet? I guess? It just makes me wonder what the hell happened between you both”

Jaemin looks up at you this time, fully regretting wanting to talk to you as he feels his stomach twist and churn uncomfortably. “Y/N—”

“Look, I’m sorry for bringing it up. Everyone knows her apart from me and It’s frustrating because I told you everything about me and my past relationship with Eric… I guess I kinda been hoping that you’d open up at some point and tell me about yours too, but you never did”

Just tell her. That voice speaks in the back of his head. He knows a great part of him wants to lay it all out on the table, to explain his relationship with Eunbin and how the breakup made him feel. But there’s another side of him that’s desperate to keep him quiet, to not let you in on his deepest thoughts and feelings, to not let you know how broken Eunbin had truly made him. 

Yet, you make him comfortable. He’s been sharing parts of him with you that he hasn’t shared in a long time. He relaxes around you, allows his body to melt into the comfort of your arms or even your presence. But still, the thought of telling you about Eunbin makes his heart feel as though it’s twisting uncomfortably in his chest and that his stomach is being repeatedly punched. 

Maybe he should just rip the bandaid off. Like he told Jeno, talking is important. People need to talk no matter how difficult of a conversation it could be… communication is key.

His teeth gnaw nervously at his bottom lip, sweaty palms rubbing against his thighs as he exhales deeply, leaning back in the chair as his head slowly begins to nod, folding his hands in his lap to prevent himself from shaking, “Okay. I’ll tell you about her”

You meet his eyes across the table in shock, “You will?”

“Eunbin and I were together for two years” He jumps straight into it before he allows himself to back out at the last second, fingernails digging into the back of his hands as you lean forwards to listen intently. “She worked part-time in this art store downtown so we would bump into each other every now and then when I needed to buy a new camera or a new scrapbook to put my photos in… I found her breathtaking. She was beautiful to look at and I plucked up the courage to ask her to be a model for one of my photography projects, and she said she would agree only if I allowed her to draw me for one of her art projects… so, we made a deal”

The way you’re smiling makes him feel sick, but he couldn’t stop himself from talking, the words pouring out.

“She was… god, she was like a breath of fresh air, you know? She never cared about what other people thought of her, she was just living her life to the fullest with no worries or regrets. She was constantly happy and I think that’s what made her so attractive and kinda perfect to me…” 

This is where Jaemin pauses, throat becoming dry and eyes beginning to sting as he realises what he’s about to say next. His heart thumps, his stomach churns and he’s afraid he’s about to have a panic attack, but he swallows everything down as he sees you looking at him with concern and he breathes steadily through his nose.

“Eunbin, she, uh… she got accepted into this art school that she desperately wanted to get in and worked hard for. She would continuously be all up day and night creating different art pieces to send off. I was happy for her, you know, her art is fucking gorgeous” Jaemin can’t help but praise, a faint smile spread across his lips as he remembers how proud he was. She is a really good artist. He rubs the sleeve of his shirt across his nose when he begins to sniffle, trying his best to contain his emotions that are daring to slip. “But the art school… The art school wasn’t here. which I didn’t realise at first. It was in New York. It was in fucking New York and she took it without any hesitations, not caring about anything else even though we talked about it. She said that the art school was the most important and meaningful thing to her, and that nothing else mattered… and she just, she—”

He hears you sigh, “Eunbin left you”

“Yeah, she left me” Jaemin drops his gaze to the table, refusing to look at you as his eyes gloss over. “I was proud of her, I always was. I admired her for working towards her dream and doing whatever she had to do to get to that dream… but I didn’t think she would leave me so easily for it, you know? She slept with me, I woke up and she was gone. Her and her stuff. Gone”

“Jaemin…” You say his name softly. “I’m so sorry”

He didn’t answer you, he couldn’t, too wrapped up in his own head as the images of him waking up alone in a cold bed flashes through his mind, all of Eunbin’s belongings gone apart from the ring she had left for him on the bedside table with a note: ‘𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘺 — 𝘦’. He had crumpled up the note and threw it in the trash, and didn't even touch the ring for months.

He hated her, all of his sadness and betrayal turning to anger and hatred, blocking her number and deleting all photos he had of her, ripping the ones he printed from his camera. He turned into a lost cause, using alcohol and drugs to cope, even tried sleeping with other women to get his mind off of her but it never worked, he was still picturing her face and hearing her name. Jaemin would’ve been stuck in his rut if it wasn’t for Jeno who pulled him out of it before it got even worse, sticking by his side and making sure that he was okay. 

He’s forever grateful to Jeno. He appreciates Jeno deeply.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor and your body heat engulfing Jaemin is enough to bring him out of his head, his own arms winding around your waist, head burying in the crevice of your neck as he melts into your embrace, allowing you to comfort him with soothing strokes on the back of his head. 

He holds you tight, fingers gripping your shirt in fear that you’d suddenly disappear from him too after opening up to you about Eunbin, but he feels you reassure him when you squeeze him back. You’re not going anywhere, he reminds himself, trying to steady his erratic heartbeat. You’re not leaving. 

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄… 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄]

“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?” You ask him softly as he reaches your apartment building, your hand gently tugging on his to try and coax him in. “You came all this way…”

“I just wanted to walk you home” Jaemin speaks quietly, giving you a tight lipped smile as your eyes meet his. Truthfully, he didn’t want to come inside. He didn’t want to be around anyone. He wanted to be alone at home in his room after the day he’s had, feeling drained from the conversation prior. 

Jaemin wasn’t ready to have any more conversations or even discussions about anything, he just wanted to rest even though he knew deep down that if he walked with you into your apartment, you would allow him to rest in your bed for as long as he needed… but he didn’t want that, not right now. He needed to be home. 

He sees how reluctant you are to let him leave but you respect his wishes with a quick nod of your head before wrapping him up in your arms. He exhales deeply as he hugs you back, relaxing at the way your fingers massage the middle of his spine but pulls away before he allows himself to get too comfortable, ducking his head low to leave a simple kiss on your lips before turning on his heel, desperate to make his way back home without any other word.

Walking into the empty house is a lot worse than Jaemin anticipated, the silence making him feel uncomfortable to the point he had to turn on his computer to play music in the background so the silence wouldn’t be too much for him. 

He didn’t know where the others were, but he was thankful to not have them around so he didn’t have to talk anymore, allowing himself to sit on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, trying his hardest to focus on the music and not let any thoughts of Eunbin enter his mind.

A part of him was thankful he opened up to you, to let you know what was going on inside his head, how bad the breakup had affected him and his mental health, but the other part of him hated himself for reopening up healing wounds, a fear that maybe he was never going to physically recover from the heartbreak and memories. 

The waterworks start before Jaemin can even register what's happening, cheeks wet with salty tears and nose blocked. He’s unable to regulate his breathing, the heel of his palm rubbing vigorously against his chest as he tries to breathe steadily through his nose and out through his mouth but fails due to the choked sobs that leave his lips. 

His other hand that rests on top of his head fists his hair at the roots and tugs, the pain that soars through his skull bringing him back to his senses and the tears stop, the heavy weight on his chest and the tightness of his throat withering away into nothing. He can finally breathe again and he drops both hands to his lap, staring emotionlessly at the floor as he takes big deep breaths of air, allowing the oxygen to settle in his lungs.

He sits alone for quite some time, not bothering to move a muscle as his mind empties, numbing himself out completely, but his head perks up slightly when he hears the front door open and slam shut, heaving footsteps bounding up the staircase, loud enough to be heard over the music. Jaemin cranes his neck over his shoulder just in time to see his bedroom swing open to reveal a panicked and worried looking Jeno standing in the doorway, bangs sweatily sticking to his forehead, chest heaving rapidly.

Jaemin’s brows pull together in confusion when he sees Jeno’s shoulders drop in relief at the sight of him, stepping inside the bedroom and closing the door behind himself with a sigh.

“What was that about?” Jaemin asks in slight amusement, rubbing the sleeve of his shirt against his nose with a quick sniffle, hoping the redness of his eyes has faded away.

“She told me everything, about how you two talked about—” Jeno pants too heavily to continue, waving his hands around comically before plopping himself down beside Jaemin on the bed, elbows resting on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. Jeno makes zero sense to Jaemin right now and he cocks his head to the side, trying to figure out what the hell Jeno was talking about until it slowly sinks in. You must’ve told Jeno what happened. You must’ve told Jeno that he opened up about Eunbin and Jeno got worried.

Jaemin swallows thickly, unable to look at Jeno. “I’m fi—”

“You don’t have to lie to me” Jeno cuts him off almost immediately, raising his head to stare at him with a hard look. “Don’t lie to me”

Jaemin blinks, cheeks flushed, “I will be fine”

Jeno doesn’t seem convinced but he slowly nods his head in understanding, placing a comforting hand on Jaemin’s back and Jaemin reels away from the touch before allowing himself to relax, letting Jeno be the comfort that he needs.

It doesn’t take long for the tears to start swelling in Jaemin’s eyes once again and a frustrated groan leaves his lips, tilting his head back to try and suck the tears back in but his miserable attempts fail him.

Jeno smiles sadly as he cups the back of Jaemin’s neck to drag him into his tight embrace, one hand patting the back of his head soothingly while the other wraps around his middle. He waits for Jaemin to fight back, to rip himself out of his arms and say how he doesn’t need to be comforted like this, knowing how uncomfortable he gets sometimes with too much physical contact. But Jeno’s surprised when he feels Jaemin’s body slump forward in his hold, fingers gripping the back of Jeno’s hoodie as his shoulders shake with quiet sobs.

— [𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍]

It was the morning after Jaemin’s breakdown and to be honest, he struggles to look Jeno in his eyes after crying in his arms for about an hour straight. He feels awkward, maybe even a little embarrassed even though Jeno is the only person that has seen all sides to Jaemin and is always quick to reassure him that everything is fine, and that it’s normal to be comforted when things go wrong or even when he’s upset.

“Are you seriously not going to look me in my eyes right now?” Jeno teases as the pair stand next to each other in the bathroom. Jaemin brushes his teeth quietly, keeping his eyes glued on his reflection in the mirror, trying not to feel hot under Jeno’s gaze. “I’ve seen you ass naked multiple times and you’ve acted fine, yet you can’t look at me after you’ve cried?”

“Shut up” Jaemin grumbles between a mouthful of toothpaste, unable to fight off the grin that creeps onto his face when Jeno bumps his shoulder with his. “Stop it”

“Okay” Jeno snorts as he puts down his own toothbrush, wiping the remaining paste away with a towel before grabbing the can of deodorant from the counter. “Me, Yangyang and Donghyuck got an early class today but we both finish around 10. We’re thinking of getting some breakfast later with the others if you want to join”

“Maybe” Jaemin hums.

“Can you hurry the fuck up?!” Donghyuck yells as he bursts through the bathroom door in an oversized puffer jacket and a knitted beanie on top of his head. “I got Mark blowing up my phone asking why me and Yangyang are taking so long—that Canadian fuck has his notes written on my laptop and he’s not shutting up about it!”

“Why did you let him use your laptop?” Jeno questions.

Donghyuck blinks, “I smashed his on accident”

“It wasn’t an accident” Yangyang corrects as he peers over Donghyuck’s shoulders, lips spreading into a grin. “Donghyuck got bratty when he wasn’t getting attention”

“It’s Mark’s fault!!” Donghyuck argues back angrily, huffing as Jeno pushes against his chest to usher him out of the bathroom, bidding Jaemin a quick goodbye as the trio leaves for the morning. 

Jaemin’s left alone once again, not really knowing where Shotaro and Renjun disappeared early hours this morning but he wasn’t complaining, he had the whole morning to himself before he potentially had to meet up with the others if he wanted to go for breakfast. He wasn’t certain if he even wanted to go, he didn’t really feel hungry and he wasn’t exactly up for any company, but the second his phone pinged with your name flashing across the screen from an upcoming message, he was eager to see what you needed.

you: hey you: i don't have classes today :) you: do you wanna do smth with me

His eyes widen slightly, not even thinking twice as he glides out of the bathroom into his bedroom, leaving his phone open on his desk while he rummages through his closet to find something warm to wear. I won’t answer, He thinks to himself, I won’t answer but I’ll show up at your door as a surprise. 

He pulls out a clean hoodie from its clothing hanger, letting the plastic drop to the ground as he shoves his arms through the sleeves and the hoodie over his head, running his fingers through his hair to style it out before looking for some matching sweatpants. Jaemin’s almost out of breath at how fast he’s rushing around his bedroom, glancing at his phone to check the time as he yanks his sweatpants up his legs, tying the string securely with a grin.

He knows you’re probably wondering why he’s read the message but hasn’t replied yet, already getting giddy at the mere thought of surprising you at your home. Maybe he should get some coffee along the way for you both.

Just as Jaemin yanks open his drawers to find a clean pair of socks, his back straightens almost immediately as he hears a knock at the front door, finding it extremely unusual for someone to be at the house this early in the morning. He begins to wonder if maybe someone had the wrong house, or if one of Yangyang’s hookups had forgotten something during their last encounter, or maybe it was you that decided to show up since he didn’t message back.

His heart warms at the thought and he’s unable to stop the grin that creeps on his lips as he exits his bedroom, jogging down the stairs with his hands smoothing out the wrinkles on his hoodie, fingers ruffling his hair to look somewhat presentable as he nears towards the front door.

He wonders if you’re going to give him an earful for leaving your text on read, or if you’re just going to stand there with an unamused expression on your face like you had done in the past. Jaemin snickers at the memory, curling his fingers around the door handle to pull it open, eager to hear what you’d have to say, but he freezes halfway.

Jaemin feels his heart drop in the pit of his stomach, a high pitched noise filling his ears as he takes a staggered step back, his hand that’s still locked around the door handle turns white from his iron grip. His heart thuds erratically in his chest, breathing laboured as he struggles to consume oxygen, vision slightly blurred so that it helps him no longer look at the face of the girl that’s appeared in front of him. 

He feels so dizzy that he’s thankful for the hold he has on the door, knowing that if nothing supported him he would’ve collapsed to the ground in a full blown panic.

Maybe it was all in his head, maybe the conversation of opening up yesterday made him crazy. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been real. She wasn’t really here, she can’t be—

“Hey Jaemin” Eunbin greets him with the kindest of smiles and her voice was enough to set him off. She lets herself into the house without any problem, wrapping her arms around Jaemin’s middle and squeezing tightly, a giggle fleeting past her lips despite him tensing up beneath her sudden embrace. 

He doesn’t hug back, he can’t even move his arms. He can’t fucking register what the fuck is going on. It doesn’t feel real, none of this feels real but he knows that he isn’t fortunate enough for this to be a dream, to be a hallucination. 

Eunbin pulls back from the one-sided hug to stare up at Jaemin who is now looking down at her, eyes wide. She looks different than what Jaemin remembers. Her hair has grown longer and she’s cut her bangs in, completely barefaced. She’s dressed in a white sleeved shirt with a green knitted vest over the top, paired with baggy denim jeans and her shoes that Jaemin remembers all too well. The blue butterflies and green aliens that she painted on her white sneakers in his room stares back at him. 

“Are we going to stand here all day?” Eunbin teases him as she toes off her sneakers, leaving them at the front door as she slips inside fully, shaking the bag in her hand gently as she turns to him. “I bought breakfast bagels and coffee. There’s enough for everyone”

“They’re not here” Jaemin finds his voice, but it's quiet and hardly audible to the point that Eunbin couldn’t hear him as she finds her way into the kitchen. Jaemin closes the door almost robotically and follows behind, lingering in the doorway as he watches Eunbin place the breakfast bagels and coffee on top of the kitchen island. He coughs to clear his throat, trying to force himself to speak louder. “What… what are you—”

“I flew in early hours this morning, if you’re wondering” Eunbin answers the question that’s been sitting at the end of his tongue. “I got some breakfast and I came straight here, to see you”

Jaemin swallows thickly, “To see me?” 

Eunbin seems confused, but she still smiles softly. “Of course… I missed y—”

“You shouldn’t be here” Jaemin cuts her off almost immediately, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be here. I’m not—You’re supposed to—” Jaemin’s eyes snap to Eunbin’s face as he decides to lie through his teeth. “I have someone coming over. I have plans”

“Oh” Eunbin blinks, feeling slightly awkward as she taps her nails on the styrofoam cup that holds her coffee. She seems curious, “Who?”

“Y/N” He speaks your name before he can even think.

“The girl from your Instagram?” A smile spreads across Eunbin’s lips. “She’s Eric’s girlfriend, right? Or ex-girlfriend, I think? She’s the one that used to come around a lot with him to see Jeno. I didn’t know you guys became so close—”

“Excuse me” Jaemin doesn’t even give her time to respond as he’s already turning away from the kitchen door frame, heading up the stairs to his bedroom and closing the door behind himself quietly. His forehead thuds against the cold wood and he takes long, slow deep breaths, trying to calm down his nerves that are unbelievably heightened.

Fingernails dig into his palms as he tries to ground himself when breathing gets harder to control, vision disfigured as tears form across his waterline. His chest grows tight and the pain that soars is enough to have the tears rolling down his cheeks, throwing his hand over his mouth to cover the cries that escape.

He can’t believe that this is happening, that Eunbin is sitting downstairs in the kitchen acting nonchalant, acting as if nothing ever happened during their last encounter. She should be in New York. Why did she come home? He inhales and exhales deeply, hastily rubbing his hands across his face to get rid of the tears as he turns on his heel, spotting his phone sitting open on his desk.

Jaemin curses beneath his breath as he rushes over to his phone, seeing the amount of messages you’ve left behind and he feels silly when he realises he’s left you completely on read throughout the entire series of texts. He wants to apologise and he types out his sorry message before deleting it, unsure of how to approach this situation and his mind wanders to Eunbin downstairs, his heart rapidly beating again. 

He needs to be gone from this house, gone from Eunbin’s presence. Maybe if he asks you to come over and you knock at his door, he can tell Eunbin that you’re here and that he needs to leave. He lied to Eunbin earlier about you coming over, so she’ll believe it when she hears the knock at the door and Jaemin can rush downstairs to open it and quickly leave so he no longer has to be around Eunbin, and he can finally be with you. 

jaemin: come here jaemin: the house jaemin: please

Jaemin presses send quickly, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip as the little read notification appears at the bottom of his texts and his shoulders relax slightly, hoping that you didn’t leave him on read after his stupid mistakes and were on your way over. Please.

• • •

Hiding away inside his room isn’t one of his best ideas, perhaps it is one of his pathetic ones but still, he wasn’t ready to leave his room and face the girl that is sitting in his kitchen. She called for him a few times, asking if he was okay but he dismissed it by saying he was looking for something and immediately declined when she offered to help. 

Jaemin doesn’t want Eunbin here, he knows that much. He doesn’t want her to be anywhere near him after what happened during their last encounter, it baffles him at how nonchalant she’s acting about it. His brows pull together in deep thought, wondering if Eunbin had a different outcome of that night in her own mind. Is he curious? Possibly. Does he want to actually talk to her about it? No.

He knew this day would come, where she would come back home from New York and he’d see her face every now and again on the streets or in certain places, but he didn’t expect it to be this soon and he most definitely didn’t expect her to show up at his front door looking happy as ever, maybe even a little excited too. 

It confuses him, and he hates it.

Although relief floods his system when he hears the front door open and close, wondering if Eunbin got tired of waiting or even realised what Jaemin’s true intentions were and left, and hopefully for good. He slides off his bed, gravitating towards the window and sneakily peeking through the curtains to see if Eunbin was leaving down the driveway but his stomach twists when he sees the white car parked out front with nobody occupying the drivers seat. Eunbin is still here, he frowns deeply, but why did the front door open?

Deciding to investigate, Jaemin quietly opens his bedroom door to leave the comfort of his room, silently walking across the landing to the stairs where he carefully climbs down, not making hardly any noises as he tries to listen in on the conversation that seems to be happening in the kitchen. His brows pull together as he moves faster and his heart thumps in his ears as he begins to recognise the voice that’s replying to Eunbin, body tensing as he stands in the doorway to see you sitting at the kitchen island with Eunbin.

You weren't supposed to come inside, but yet he couldn’t blame you for doing so. You are used to walking in and making yourself home, the boys have all told you (Haru and Miwoo) to do so. It’s normal for you, it’s normal for him… but fuck he wish that wasn’t the norm, not today. He didn’t want Eunbin talking to you, he didn’t want Eunbin anywhere near you. For a reason, Jaemin is unsure why, but he hates seeing Eunbin engaging in conversation with you which is why he decides to make his presence known.

“Hey”

Your head immediately snaps in his direction and with your eyes finally locked on his, Jaemin feels the worries inside his head begin to disintegrate, the weight on his shoulders slowly lifting. He’ll constantly be in awe at how simple you make him feel at ease, but his figure tenses up when Eunbin’s attention is now brought to him too.

But he keeps his eyes on you. You are the only person in this room that matters to him right now, the only person in this room he can look at without falling apart and he drags himself over to you, fingers itching to touch your skin, to feel your embrace.

He fully believes you read his mind because the second he stands beside you, your hand lays on his arm and his body relaxes, allowing to lean his weight into your side, his arm coming around to wrap around your back, clutching the back of the sweatshirt of his you’re wearing and he smiles softly, rubbing the fabric between his fingertips.

This calms him, being beside you, touching you. And his heart warms when he realises how fast you came over to help him, he’s filled with the uttermost gratitude and he wishes he can kiss you right then and there, but his head rises when he’s reminded of the person who is sitting opposite the two of you. 

Eunbin smiles when she reaches his eyes but Jaemin’s quick to avert his attention back to you with a thick gulp, watching your hands that now rest in your lap. He’s eager to slip his fingers between yours and tug you out of the house, to disappear for a little while.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things awkward, but…” Eunbin speaks up, disrupting the silence. She points at Jaemin first before she points at you which Jaemin isn’t fond of, eyes narrow slightly. “Are you guys, like, a thing?”

You clear your throat to speak first, “We’re—”

“We’re sleeping together” Jaemin tells her before he can even register what he’s saying. His lips press together in a tight line when he fully realises what he’s just blurted out, but there’s a twisted part of him that enjoys seeing the look on Eunbin’s face. His hand slips up your back to rest on your shoulder. “We’re exclusive”

The way you comically turn your head to look at Jaemin is enough to make him smile despite the ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach. He can see the uncomfortable look on your face and he’s regretful, not wanting to put you in such a position and he curses at himself for letting his pettiness get the best of him. He drops his left eye into a wink, hoping to silently reassure you and tell you everything is okay.

“Oh” Eunbin blinks, unsure of what to say. “How long?”

“A mo—”

The sound of you clearing your throat makes Jaemin stop and he looks down at you, a little confused but also worried, squeezing your shoulder in a gesture to ask if you’re alright but you ignore it as you give him a smile which he notices is not legitimate. “Sorry, I had something stuck in my throat… Anyways, I’m late so, uh, I’m gonna go. Bye”

The second you stand up from your seat, Jaemin is quick to grasp your hand in his. He sees how uncomfortable and panicky you look and his chest tightens, hoping to calm you down as his thumb grazes over the tops of your knuckles. He notices how your eyes nervously glance around the room, looking over at Eunbin who is already staring at you both and Jaemin sighs, cupping your cheeks in his hands to force you to look at him, not wanting you to feel intimidated under Eunbin’s gaze. 

“Where are you going?” He questions with a whisper. He doesn’t want you to leave without him, he wants you to whisk him away to wherever you’re heading… he doesn’t want to be alone with Eunbin. “Don’t… don’t leave”

“We’re going to be late to get breakfast with everyone” Jaemin’s eyes widen and relief instantly floods through his veins when he hears the emphasis on the ‘we’re’, realising that you’re going to take him with you and he couldn’t be more happier. He removes his hands from your cheeks to lace his fingers with your own, ready to leave right then and there.

“Wait…” Eunbin speaks up before Jaemin can even begin to ask her to leave the house. He briefly glances over at her, watching as she rubs the back of her neck and gives a nervous smile, “I just got here… I haven’t seen you in months and you’ve been avoiding me. Can we just talk? Please?”

“I—” Jaemin gulps at the sad look Eunbin casts his way and he sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. He’s conflicted seeing the all-to familiar sorrowful look on Eunbin’s face, it disgusts him how much it pulls at his heartstrings and makes him feel like a shitty person. But with the hand that's locked in your own and your body brushing against his from the close proximity, he wants you. He wants to leave with you. 

“It won’t be long, I promise” Eunbin promises him with hope. “Just for an hour, okay? I need to talk to you”

Jaemin’s silent now, staring at nothing in particular with his brows pulled together in deep thought, mind overcrowding with confusing thoughts and feelings that’s enough to give him a headache. His teeth bite down on his tongue with force, trying his hardest to focus on the pain to get rid of hushed voices inside of his head but he struggles deeply.

Closure, the voice in his head repeats. This could be closure. His eyes dart towards Eunbin who’s already staring back at him. Tell her how she made you feel. His forehead creases, lips forming in a straight line as his jaw tightens with a glare. Tell her how badly she fucked up.

“Fine” He nods his head once, “I’ll stay”

Jaemin turns to look at you when he feels your hand slip away from his grip, refusing to meet his eyes as your back straightens up, sending a tight lipped smile to Eunbin who seems content with his answers.

“It’s nice meeting you”

“You too,” Eunbin admits with a genuine smile. “I hope we can see each other again?”

Jaemin watches as you nod your head before bidding a quick goodbye, turning on your heel as you head out of the kitchen and Jaemin’s mouth open and closes repeatedly, unsure of what to say as he hurriedly follows behind you, latching his fingers around your wrist before you could open the front door and escape.

He presses your back against it, eyes filled with panic as they meet your emotionless ones, shocked that you’re trying to leave without even saying anything to him. Why are you mad? Did he say something wrong? Is staying not the right choice? Are you disappointed? He hates not knowing what’s going on inside your head, desperate for you to talk to him.

Jaemin’s hands shakingly come up to gently touch your face, pushing the strands of hairs neatly behind your ears as he dips his head down, trying to meet your eyes once again when you look away from him. Please look at me. He cradles your jaw, his thumb caressing your skin as he raises your head when you finally look at him and he leans in, pressing his mouth to yours in a slow kiss.

He feels your body react to him, instantly relaxing and curling your fists around the material of his hoodie to pull him closer and he complies, stepping forwards so his body is flush against yours, leaving no room for either of you. His arms slither around your waist as yours wrap around his shoulders, exhaling deeply when he feels your fingers tug at the hairs on the nape of his neck. The kiss is full of desperation, yearning, and he almost whines when you start to pull away from him, his lips immediately chasing yours but stops, opting to rest his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath.

“I didn’t want to stay” He tells you, wanting to explain his thought process to you. “But I think I need to do this for me, for closure” Jaemin’s hands rub the bottom of your back as he feels himself slowly go into a panicked state, wanting to calm himself down. “I need to tell her how I felt. I need her to understand that I—”

“You don’t have to explain it” You cut him off with a smile and he melts as he still feels you playing with the hair at the back of his head. “It’s okay, Jaemin”

Jaemin blinks softly, chest warming at the reassurance and he nods his head gratefully. He kisses your lips once again and he has the sudden urge to smile when he feels you kiss him back with your hand placed on his cheeks. He completely forgets about the person sitting alone in the other room, waiting for him to come back.

Truthfully, he doesn’t care about anything when he’s with you. You make him forget a lot of things that usually leave him in a rut. You help him breathe, you help him feel normal, you make everything seem worth it. 

The kiss is broken and Jaemin opens the door for you when you’re ready to leave, leaning against the wood as he stares at you, something tugging at his heart as you give him a smile and he freezes, body stiff against the door.

“Y/N…” He whispers your name softly, teeth gnawing down on his bottom lip as his palms become clammy. “I, uh… I…”

“What?” You press with a giggle.

“I…” Jaemin swallows thickly, something heavy dawning on him. He’s come to realise that you are the most important person to him, maybe even more than Jeno and that leaves him in internal shock but a smile crawls onto his lips as he stares at you a little longer. Jaemin has always appreciated the things he loves, and he wasn’t exactly sure what kind of love it is, but, “I appreciate you”

• • •

“She seems really sweet” Eunbin admits as Jaemin finds his way back into the kitchen after seeing you off, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he leans against the countertop across from Eunbin, keeping his distance which she seems to notice almost instantly. “You can sit, you know—”

“What are you doing here?” Jaemin cuts her off with the question that's been swimming around in his mind, brows furrowing as he chews the inside of his cheek. He wants answers. He needs answers.

“I… told you. I came to see you—”

“But why?” Jaemin presses, frustration already beginning to build.

“I missed you” Eunbin admits, a sad frown displaying across her lips as she fiddles with her fingers. “I mean, I tried contacting you the entire time I was gone but you blocked my number”

“Why do you think I would keep your number after what you did?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, staring at Eunbin who slowly sinks down into her seat under his gaze. “Do you even understand what happened? You fucked me and then you left. You didn’t tell me you were leaving, you just did”

“Jaemin—”

“Do you know how badly you fucked me up after that?” He seethes through his teeth. Jaemin doesn’t mean to get angry, but he struggles to control his emotions towards the girl that’s in front of him, wanting nothing more than her to understand what she has done. “I lost my fucking mind because of you and you were living your best life in New York”

“But we talked about New York after I confessed” Eunbin speaks with desperation in her voice. “We spoke about it and I told you that it was my dream to go, and you were supportive—”

“I was supportive of you following your dream. I wasn’t supportive of you lying to me about going to New York” Jaemin corrects, clenching his fists inside of his pockets and digging his fingernails into his palms, trying to keep control of his emotions, not wanting to break down. “You told me how the art school was the most meaningful and important thing to you, and that nothing else mattered…”

“You matter,” Eunbin quickly adds before she sighs. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Jae”

“But you did,” Jaemin smiles sadly. “I understand how important that art school was for you and I was happy that you got what you wanted because you worked hard for it… but understand from my perspective how shitty it was to find out that it was in New York and you leaving the day after”

“What I did was shitty, I know that” She admits, chewing down on her bottom lip as tears brim in her eyes. She looks down at her hands. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret that it was in New York and I shouldn’t have left after sleeping with you… In my head, when we were arguing about it and I apologised, and then we slept together, I thought we were fine. I thought you were okay about the art school being in New York because you told me you loved me and you supported my dreams, which is why I left for it the next day”

Jaemin feels the sting as his eyes well up with his own tears and he tries to blink them back, “You thought we were fine?” That explains why she came here this morning… She thought we were still fine. 

“I’m so sorry, Jae” Eunbin stands up from her seat, making her way over to stand in front of Jaemin who tenses up and leans further back against the countertop. “I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry for being so selfish… but please understand that it was never my intention to hurt you. Please”

Jaemin doesn’t speak. He can’t find the right words to describe how he’s feeling. But hearing Eunbin call herself selfish and apologise for hurting him left him in shock. He didn’t really expect Eunbin to feel this bad. Honestly, he was worried and waiting for another pending argument, to hear her tell her side of the story and stick with it, so having her admit her faults in front of him was enough to have the weight lifted off his shoulders.

Closure, the voice in his head speaks. You got your closure.

His head drops, chin touching his chest as he exhales before he slowly nods his head, an indication that Eunbin knows all too well. Jaemin accepts the apology, he hasn’t forgiven her for what happened and admittedly, he’s still a little angry, but he’s thankful for her verbal apology. 

Eunbin smiles through her tears as she steps forward, wrapping her arms around Jaemin in a tight embrace for the second time today. Jaemin’s brows jump in surprise, listening as she quietly cries against his chest, clutching his hoodie desperately and Jaemin remains still, staring down at the top of her head with his hands still buried deep in his pockets.

On Edge. (m.l)

Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Doyoung came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Mark, has a bit of a thing for you?

ao3 | m.list | minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it. 

WORDCOUNT― 22.5k

PAIRING― mark lee x fem reader | doyoung  x fem reader

CONTENT― doyoung is 27, reader is 25, mark is 22. boyfriend doyoung, perverted/shy college boy mark, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy mark, dom-ish doyoung in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of haechan raging at mark through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao

WARNINGS― infidelity that doesn’t get exposed, foot job but only bc i can’t figure out how to write a scene like this if it’s not her foot lmao

NOTE― not me back at it again with the cheating fics. Idk, i have a thing for mark cucking but also hidden things, and the idea of having both of them :D no, i do not condone cheating..  shoutout to my wife and other ultimate mark fucker @mrkis​ for discussing and brainstorming this shit with me, also for editing it and fixing all of my embarrassing typos.

smut tags under cut:: 

Keep reading

I read this before the concert and my mind just went 🫠 when i saw johnny

I Hit It Like It’s All Mine (M)

pairing. Johnny x female reader

genre. best friends step-mom AU, besties johnjae, college graduate Johnny, pwp, M/F

warnings. profanity, infidelity, y/n is older than Johnny, alcohol mentioned, teasing, overstimulation, breeding kink, rough & unprotected sex, degradation/praise. idk ily Johnny.

wc. 10k

now playing. All Mine//Plaza

Week 1

“Oh,” Jaehyun slams down on the brakes, speaking over the rubble of rocks and engine shutting off. “I should probably mention something important about my step-mom.”

Johnny lets out a confused laugh, pushing his sunglasses up to headband the mess speeding down the coast made of his long locks. “Gee, we’ve been flying and driving for how many hours now? Suddenly you decide this important information is something you need to tell me right before I meet her for the first time?”

Jaehyun shrugs, running a hand through his hair full of mucky sea breeze. “Didn’t want you to hound me about this on the way, I know how you are.”

“I know how you are as well, Jeong Jaehyun.”

“When we’re home, I prefer Jeffrey, dude.” His best friend sneers, exiting the convertible he had to beg his dad to let him rent for a few weeks while vacationing at their beach house.

“Sure Jeff, now please, spare me the details and catch me up on this vital info before I have to pretend your dad isn’t a complete dick with an amazing pool and view of the beach for the next three weeks.” Johnny chides, hauling out a surfboard from the backseat.

“Right right, well my step-mom,” Jaehyun feigns a lack of interest, pulling a trucker hat on to tame his unruly hair. “She’s hot, like.. like she’s really really hot.”

Johnny has to laugh, pausing with a crease between his eyebrows. “You dirty fucking pervert.”

Jaehyun gives him a look, lips tugged back in a way he only displays when he wants to be taken serious. “I’m being real right now man, she’s like..”

Scratching at the back of his neck, Jaehyun’s shoulders slouch, shaking his head at his best friend. “Just be careful dude.”

“Jaehyun—Jeffrey, whatever, what the fuck dude?” Johnny’s face furrows, following after his friend to enter through the back of the house. “You think I’m gonna try to fuck your step-mom or some shit?”

Jaehyun spares him an annoyed look, tossing his backpack onto his bed before flopping onto his stomach with a groan. “Yeah, I think you’re going to try and fuck my step-mom.”

“Have some faith in me dude,” Johnny bristles, lugging his belongings into his best friend's summertime bedroom he hasn’t seen in years. “Should let me sleep on the floor still, you know whenever we come back too late. Don’t want your sexy step-mom finding me drunk off my ass in the hallway— I’m irresistible, you know?”

“Yeah, you really had no reason to keep growing past 5’10. Thanks for leaving me behind, good looking out as always.” Jaehyun grumbles, perching his chin onto his forearm uncomfortably as memories flash across the backs of his eyelids. The last time he’d asked his friend to not fuck a girl had been Senior year of high school, and that didn’t end well for him.

Jaehyun’s throat clears, sitting up with the sudden urge to down a gallon of water. “Remember Sabrina? That transfer I had uh— a thing for our last year of high school?”

Johnny snorts, fingering a polaroid of his teenage-self between two digits. “You mean that blonde you had a fat crush on? Yeah, of course I remember her… great legs.”

“I thought so.” Jaehyun sighs, eyeing his best friend with a scheming gaze. “Whatever happens, I just don’t want to find out. Alright?”

“Dude chill,” Johnny rolls his eyes, opening up the walk-in closet he spent a few blurry nights passed out in. “Let’s get a quick swim in before the sun goes down, yeah?”

Jaehyun lets out an exhausted grunt, muffled and distant, burying his face deeper into freshly laundered bedsheets. “Pass.”

“Boo, you whore.” Johnny jeers, stripping down to nothing as he fiddles with different pairs of swim trunks in search of his size. “Have to make the best of every day here.”

Without bothering to waste more time, he shuffles into much too small flip flops to avoid unpacking his belongings. “I’ll be back.” Cracking a beach towel across Jaehyun’s back, Johnny lightly jogs back out the way they entered, sighing in relief as cool thick air flows across his skin.

Something about summers at the beach growing up always brought comfort back when he needed it. Trudging through the sand with a towel slung over his shoulder, Johnny smiled watching his toes get lost in the midst of granules, chalked up by the residue painting it’s way up past his ankles the more he kicked through. His grin only grew wider when he lifted his gaze to peer around the expanse of space still filled with locals, vacationers, bums and best of all— girls sliding their frames down for a better look at him.

Johnny laid out his towel near the water, just close enough to run in and dose himself in salty waves within seconds, but to avoid any possible high-tide crashing beyond his feet. Letting out a loud obnoxious yawn, he stretches out, allowing the sunglasses holding back his hair to fall into place and shield his eyes. It felt nice to lean back, purposely flexing his stomach muscles under the low sunlight and picking up the whispered hush of gasps and girlish vocals asking ‘who is he?’

Scratching under his chin, he glances around casually, tinted shades disclose well enough to admire oiled up bottoms basking in the sun. If all goes right, he should be getting his dick wet at least five times a week while staying out here. That should be a good enough way to melt off the weight of pre-med stress. Johnny’s tongue clicks, reminding himself to stop thinking about school. The future doesn’t matter right now, his decision to spend a large portion of break with Jaehyun boiled down to one thing and one thing only: getting laid.

‘California girls,’ Jaehyun sang, winking at his friend as he coerced him to purchase his flight. ‘They’re unforgettable.’

Johnny scoffs a bit at the memory, internally nodding as he takes in breasts bouncing beneath barely there bikini tops. He has a point, or Katy Perry did, whoever the hell sang that song. Nights fucking under lifeguard towers, running into the ocean butt naked under nothing but moonlight, slurping melted ice cream off dips and crevices sugary sticky syrup should never be. After months bundled up under thick layers and jackets with his face buried in research papers and endless cups of black coffee, he needed this more than ever. Jaehyun could tell, leave it to his best friend to know what's best for him.

Johnny decides it’s time for a quick swim, shoving up and dusting off sand from his backside, he strolls ahead pausing in his tracks when he sees something that catches his attention.

“My board?”

Johnny squints and shakes his head, blinded by sun cascading behind the figure sitting on top of the familiar surfboard. Turning his foot he moves closer for a better look, jaw loosening as the bright shadow diminishes, unveiling skin… tons of skin. His lip curls, noting the letter ‘J’ he etched into the edge of the board when he was 15, his board, not Jaehyun’s.

‘What difference does it make if I use your board or not?’

‘This is my baby, you can’t ride my baby.’ Johnny said, smoothing a wax down the body of wood with a rag. ‘How would you feel if another man was out there riding your girl?’

Jaehyun sneered, kicking sand at his best friend. ‘How many times have I asked you to not ride my girl and you do it anyway?’

‘Fine,’ Johnny scooped out his pocket knife, digging the sharp edge of it into the wood to carve out his initial. ‘This way, everyone knows who she belongs to.’

Jaehyun leaned over watching as the taller smirked proudly, breaking into a boisterous laugh. ‘You idiot, both of our names start with J.’

Johnny watched Jaehyun fall back into the sand clutching his stomach, twisting his mouth to the side because he just branded his baby for no good reason.

‘Ugh, just stay off my board dude!’

“The fuck..” Johnny watches intently as you emerge from the water, obscene droplets of water rolling off your thighs. “Nice board.”

He speaks before registering how close he’s come to stand near you, catching splashes of your hair across his chest as you wring out the sea water. “Thanks.”

Johnny wants to scoff, too caught up in the way you drop his beloved surfboard down by your feet carelessly. He wants to give you attitude, raises his voice at you for handling his baby so poorly, but he can’t, he can’t with his tongue hanging from his mouth like a thirsty dog.

“You’re beautiful.” His mouth feels dry already, swallowing mucky air down as he takes in your form and wonders how you managed to surf his board in that tiny string bikini leaving barely anything to imagine.

“Thanks.”

Again, you sound bored, not even sparing him a glance while throwing your hair around to air dry, and Johnny thinks it’s amusing. More amusing than any of the girl’s lined down the beach desperate for him to approach them instead.

“That board is a little too big for you, don’t you think?” Johnny cocks an eyebrow, head tilted to the side, tongue rimming his bottom lip to add action behind his condescending tone. “Just started surfing yesterday or something?”

“Hah..” finally you look at him, moreso glare at him, an equally snarky expression to match his written across your face. “What makes you think I can’t handle a board this big?”

Johnny pauses, taking in your features from the confidence in your gaze to your unblemished skin and lips that would look perfect struggling around his cock, and he thinks you’d be fun to ruin. Already dreaming of the hundreds of ways he could erase that cockyness from your pretty face. “You don’t really look like you can handle riding one that size.”

Clearing your throat, you bend over, ensuring a perfect view of your bottom perched between lycra cloth squeezing the fleshy meat out enticingly. Lifting the board under your arm with ease and a flip of your hair. “Now why would a little boy like you think you have a damn clue what I can handle?”

Johnny trails by your side, scrunching his eyebrows when you call him a little boy. “I’m 6’1!”

“No shit,” smiling, you brush him off with a wave of your hand. “Now shoo! Go find someone closer to your age to bother.”

“My age??” Johnny guffaws, too immersed in the way you’re dismissing him to even notice the direction you’re headed. “Uh, in case it’s not obvious— we’re definitely like the same age?”

“Doubt it.” Spinning quickly, you nearly knock him off his feet with a fierce hit from the tip of your surfboard. “Now go play with your toys before I call security and tell them you’ve lost your mommy.”

“I’m twenty-seven!” Johnny splutters, telling himself to ignore the coil in his gut lighting up from your threat. “And that’s my board!”

Akin to a petulant child, he reaches to grip around the wooden body to drag it free from your hold. The two of you going back and forth in a match of tug-o-war for no more than a minute between huffs and puffs and shrieks of ‘let go! I’m calling security!’ before the deep shout of his name distracts him enough to abruptly release his hold and send you crashing into the sand flat on your ass.

“Dude! Johnny what the hell!” Jaehyun runs from the front of his dad’s house, jumping over the pebbles lining the pathway of sand leading to the entrance. Hurling into his friend's chest, he knocks the wind out of Johnny and reaches to help you up, blabbering apologetically as the surfboard lays near you unceremoniously.

“Jaehyun?” You ask, latching onto his forearm to stand up and brush sand off your damp backside. “I thought you were coming in later?”

“Huh?” Johnny(ready to pounce on his friend) pauses and looks between the two of you, slowly glancing around in realization that you’ve walked up to his home for the next few weeks.

Jaehyun explains they ended up catching an earlier flight and hit no traffic, apologizing for being forgetful and not informing you ahead of time. “This..”

He points to the tall brunette that followed you home, letting out a disappointed sigh. “This is Johnny.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun nods, motioning between the two of you. “And this— is my step-mom.”

“Oh.” Johnny gulps, convincing himself that his cheeks are burning because of the warmth from the sun and not because of embarrassment, no, not because Jaehyun was right.

“See how I was right,” his friend leans in to mumble, patting Johnny on the shoulder. “Sorry if he was already bothering you.”

“Ahh, it’s okay. I think we got off on the wrong foot.” You say, pulling the board back up and tracing the carving. “I assumed this was Jaehyun’s before, my mistake.”

Jaehyun chuckles, nudging into Johnny’s side. “You see how that made no difference.”

“Shut up.” He mumbles under his breath, following the two of you inside, not without wiping off your limbs near the entrance. Quickly pulling on a too big zip up jacket to cover up in front of your new house guests.

“I had your dad’s assistant buy some of your favorites.” You call out, moving to the kitchen for a glass of water. “Fully stocked the fridge with cold brew and those Celsius drinks you like.”

Johnny follows behind, keeping his gaze set on the floor in hopes you’ll forget his lame attempt at flirting just minutes ago. “Don’t know what your friend likes, but we can order food if you guys are hungry?”

Jaehyun shrugs, grabbing two water bottles. “Sounds good, we aren’t picky. Whatever you want to eat we’ll be fine with.”

“Burritos?” You ask between sips of water, flicking to look between the two for approval. Jaehyun nods with a thumbs up, sliding one of the bottles in front of Johnny.

“Sounds yum.”

“Great!” Bouncing onto your toes you place an order on your phone and ask for Jaehyun to keep an ear open for the doorbell. “I’m gonna hop in the shower and rinse off real fast, feel free to get comfortable. The guest rooms all cleaned up and ready for you as well.”

Smiling in Johnny’s direction on your way out of the kitchen, you add a wink, as if to reassure him that you won’t bring up your beach banter again.

Jaehyun waits until he can hear the water running from your bathroom shower, breathily laughing and relaxing back into the chair near his friend's side. “You were trying to fuck her, weren’t you?”

“She had my board.” Johnny says, pretending to care more about scratching off the label on the water bottle melting in his palm.

“And you were trying to fuck her because of that?”

Johnny’s jaw clenches, ripping off the label and crumbling the paper between his fingers. “Just wanted to know why she had my board… She called me a little boy.”

Jaehyun laughs, knowing that must have pushed some buttons. “She’s older than us, not by much but.. surprisingly my dad actually remarried someone older than me.”

Johnny hums, taking a long swig from the bottle to woosh around his tongue. Mouth still dry from embarrassing himself. “So that’s your step-mom.”

“Yup.” Jaehyun’s lips smack, popping as the ‘P’ rolls off his tongue. “By the way, my dad won’t be around, some business deal in Dubai for the next few weeks.. Old bastard didn’t even bother to mention it. He’s already sky-high with his feet kicked up in Emirates first class.”

“So..” Johnny nods, playing with the bottle cap nervously. “It’s just the three of us.”

Jaehyun sighs, crushing up his empty bottle. “Yeah. It’s just the three of us.”

Meeting his best friend’s gaze, a silent exchange of words passes between the two. The small raise in Jaehyun’s eyebrow let Johnny know his thoughts without saying anything.

“I don’t want to know anything.” Jaehyun repeats quietly, getting up at the sound of the doorbell.

Johnny’s lips purse, hunching over onto the counter in thought. Maybe his original summer plans needed a few alterations, tapping the tips of his fingers against the marble counter, he wondered how much talk you were.

One way to find out.

Week 2

Paint fumes spill through the air conditioning vent, penetrating the guest rooms walls much too early to make sense. Johnny sniffs, squinting and groaning as his knuckles drag across his eyelids and he kicks at the sheet covering his lower half. “Fuck is that?”

It hasn’t been the most peaceful week, not quite, his own words of having to make use of each day coming back to bite him in the ass as Jaehyun shouted at him to get ready for another long night of bar hopping and club after club. Johnny realized after the second day of slamming shots that while his 22 year old self would have laughed at him, his present day self was in need of a porcelain bowl to drown his night of fun inside of.

“Ugh, I’m gonna throw up,” he mutters to himself, rolling side to side in bed miserably. The strong scent of paint more acidic than it should be as it mixed with vile poison left in his system from last night.

“That’s because you won’t eat greasy food after drinking dumbass.” Jaehyun says by his bedroom door with shades on inside and a cold brew in hand. “Mr. Healthy would rather suffer and stick to his diet.”

“Ughh.” Johnny fails to chuck a pillow at his friend, mumbling a string of curses.

“I left some medicine and orange juice on the nightstand.” Jaehyun lets him know. “Already ate breakfast, need fresh air, gonna take a stroll down to the pier. You coming?”

Johnny doesn’t bother to grace him with a real response, waving an arm behind to signal for him to go away. The other snorts, mumbling a ‘weak ass’ under his breath before exiting.

Minutes pass before he finally forces himself to crawl off the bed, dragging the sheet wrapped around his hip off as he scatters to collect the anti-nausea pills and cup of pulp-free OJ, that good rich people OJ from Whole Foods, he thinks. Typical Jeong household, nothing but the best.

Johnny slumps against the bed watching the room spin for a minute in an attempt to recall what happened last night.

‘Shots! Shots! Shots!’ Jaehyun kept howling in his ear, slamming wads of fifty dollar bills down on the bar as he ordered another round. ‘Who wants to do body shots!!’

Johnny sighs, having forgotten what a woo woo party girl his best friend could turn into after cracking open a bottle of Tequila. This is Jaehyun’s influence, egging him on with a whispered ‘pussy’ in his ear as he stared at the round of clear vengeful liquid ready to burn his esophagus. “Damn you Jeff.”

Another whiff of paint has chunks rising up his throat, charging up to the nearest bathroom to release the blacked out memories of last night. Johnny splashes his face, rinsing his mouth thoroughly until his teeth slick right off his tongue, shining pearly whites and burning from the amount of mouthwash he gargles to remove the taste. “No more drinking, you’re not 21 anymore.”

Stepping into the hallway, Johnny squints from the smell of paint growing stronger, following the trace of it down the hall to an open door where you bounce about barefoot in a pair of dirtied overalls and what looks like a bikini top. This one less revealing than the others you’ve sported around the house this week.

Johnny did his best to not stare, maybe, he could do better. Even now as he rests against the door frame and follows your every move mixing different paints together, he can’t resist eyeing the dips in your back whenever you shift slightly. He can’t help but imagine how nice his hands could look placed around your carved in waist, gripped between his digits as he holds you down and fucks you until you’re screaming out for him to slow down.

“It’s rude to stare, especially unannounced.” You say without turning to look at him, noting his presence from the sound of light footsteps ending by the door.

“Sorry,” Johnny apologizes, voice coated in heavy drowsiness. “I didn’t know that you paint, I mean..”

“Why would you, right? It’s a hobby,” you explain, stroking a wide brush across a black and grayed canvas. “Mr. Jeong didn’t want me to get bored when he’s away, can’t have a bored housewife.”

“You seem to stay pretty occupied..” Johnny thinks out-loud. If you weren’t stealing his surfboard, you seemed to be running off to some pilates class, or to get your nails done, something about a Erewhon market to grab an overpriced smoothie. Living that Tiktok life according to Jaehyun. “You’ve been painting for a while?”

Johnny enters to look around at what he assumes are completed canvases perched against a wall to dry by an uncovered window. “You’re pretty good.”

“Thanks.”

Something about the way you seem unimpressed by him and always reply to his flattery in the same monotone uninterested way tickles him more than it should. Johnny can’t even say he’s caught your eyes lingering on him once yet.

“Shouldn’t you be out with Jaehyun?” You ask, following the movements by your side from the corner of your eye. Johnny’s shirtless, of course, barefoot in nothing but the boxers he probably fell asleep in last night.

“We aren’t attached at the hip.” Johnny shrugs, pretending to seem interested in the tubes and cans of paints scattered near your feet. Squatting down, he looks through the ingredients wondering if you should really be in here inhaling this stuff. “Also, I can’t hang the same way I used to. Age is finally catching up to me I guess.”

“You’re a child.” You scowl, turning to look down at his messy head of hair. “Stop speaking as if you’ve lived 50 years on earth.”

“A child??” Johnny shoots up straight, standing tall in all his half-naked glory. “You’re only a few years older than me!”

“I could be your—“

“You could not.” He interrupts, smirking full of arrogance that only a 20-something year old could possess. “You could be Mr. Jeong’s daughter though.”

“Possibly.”

Johnny’s surprised you garner him with a response, expecting his message to go ignored. Of course he’d dropped hints about the age difference between you and your husband, occasionally mentioning how even if he’s home you must not feel a difference. Pushing it further by joking around if the old man can even get it up anymore.

“Is that what you’re into?” Johnny crosses his arms, leaning back on a wall in front of your painting set-up. “Wrinkled and shriveled?”

“Is that the way a pre-med student should be speaking about his future patients?” Clicking your tongue, you return to your work, not wanting to fall for the game Johnny’s been trying to involve you in since arriving.

“I’ll be starting my residency soon.” Johnny corrects you, counting the different tones of paint splatter on your overalls. “This might be one of my last summers to fuck around, you know.. mess up a few last times.”

“Sounds like you’ve been messing up nearly every night.” You smirk, lifting an arched brow at him. The parade of different girls walking in and out of your house hasn’t gone unnoticed despite Jaehyun’s best efforts to be discreet about it, neither has their obnoxiously loud moans and screams while getting plowed in your guest room.

“Not quite the mess up I’ve been dreaming about.” Johnny says confidently, studying the small changes in your expression this up-close. Between you running around to complete your errands and Jaehyun cock-blocking him, he hasn’t had the easiest time to pick up on your mannerisms. Barely able to lock eyes with you long enough to maintain eye contact with the way you nonchalantly carry on avoiding him, make him feel invisible.

“Imagine if your mother knew of these things you dream about.” You say, peering over the canvas to find Johnny’s honey gaze. “You think she would approve of this behavior?”

“Not at all.” Johnny’s quick to say, pushing off the wall. “But she’s not here, is she?”

“Unfortunately.”

Johnny doesn’t fail to notice the second too long you take to look away from his chest, moving to stand by your canvas with his boxers hung low enough to show off the sharp edges of his jutted hip bones, he flexes intentionally, stretching his waist side to side for his stomach muscles to convulse. The way they would convulse when..

“Do you think I’m a bad boy?” He whispers, as if you aren’t home alone, because he knows that secrets should stay quiet.

“I think you are mentally a young boy, a young boy afraid of your last days of youth slipping through your fingers.” You know Johnny feeds off your attention, casually side-swiping him and refocusing on your painting despite his best efforts to show off his great physique.

“Perhaps.” He shrugs, looping a hand around your wrist gently to tug your brush onto the smooth flat planes of his abdominal muscles. “But I want to grow up, I wanna show you what a man I can be.”

Johnny speaks between bated breath, sweeping the deep red paint up and down the indent of definition lining his stomach.

“What makes you think I want to know what a man you can be?” Words feel heavy sliding off your tongue, dipping the paint brush lower into his twitching navel, blood red trickles down rolling past the scrunched waistband of his bottoms.

“Because, you can handle big things.” Johnny retorts, tilting his head to one side. “At least, that’s what you claim, I’ve yet to see it proven myself though.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to prove that to you?” arching back your neck to push your chin forward, you have to look up at Johnny, brushing past his waistband to press the bristles of your mostly dried brush against the bulge that’s formed between his hips.

Johnny’s throat bounces, swallowing behind his pursed lips from the stiff itchy friction pushing through the thin cotton fabric covering his groin. Instinctively canting his hips forward in search of more, he has to resist the urge to look down. Grinding the backs of his teeth together as he watches your face lacking any sign of weakness. “Let me fuck you.”

“Spoken like a true bratty child.” You snicker, trailing the tips of your manicured nails down the side of his twitching abdomen. “I’m a married woman.”

“Means nothing to me,” Johnny lilts, throbbing between his thighs from the rough manner you continue to dig into his crotch. “Besides that, I haven't seen you wear a ring.”

“Ah, and you would know, given all the time you spend staring at me.” You say, digging your freshly done nails into the lines of muscles covered in paint. “You think I’m playing some game with you, don’t you? Such a little boy.”

“Maybe.” Johnny’s throat tightens, swallowing the wad of saliva that’s gathered at the back of his mouth. “I find it hard to believe you seriously married Jihoon.. of all people to waste your youth on.”

“Marriage isn’t as simple as you’re making it.” You whisper, tracing one of his hips with the smooth pads of your fingers. “It’s not a waste if you get something worth it out of it.”

“Hmm,” Johnny blows a long breath out, head drooping to concentrate on the brush jabbing at his hardened size. “I’m not oblivious, I understand that much, but what I also know for a fact is that there is no way Mr. Jeong can fuck you the way you deserve.”

“Deserve?” A smile creeps across your lips at that, pinching the fabric of his ruined boxers between your grip to tug lower and unveil where tanned skin meets lines of paleness protected by his swim trunks. “How exactly do I deserve to be fucked?”

Johnny tips forward, nudging his forehead against yours. “Wanna find out?”

“I’d love to find out.” Tossing the paint brush aside your mouth draws out an ‘Ooo’ feeling up his covered size with a push of your palm against his groin. “I don’t believe that you are going to be the one that shows me.”

“You want it?” Johnny’s tongue feels heavier with each press of your palm against the underside of his length, sucking his plump bottom lip under his teeth to suppress a groan.

“You’re asking me to cheat on my husband?”

“I’m asking you to let me fuck you.” Johnny says falling into a deep vibrato. His patience wears thinner with each teasing touch, a few steps closer is all it takes to press you against a wall, arms lifted above your head to leave you feeling caged in. “If I fuck you once, I promise that I’ll have you begging to be mine.”

“What makes you think I want to be yours?” Clasping your fist around his cock, you squeeze the fabric against his shape, pushing one of your thighs between his. “You’re the one begging to fuck me.”

“That’s what you want?” Johnny’s eyes flutter shut, not even trying to hide how aroused he is as he clamps around your thigh, hips jerking forward to fuck into your palm. “I’ll beg all you want— fuck, I’ll get on my knees. I’ll do anything, whatever you want.. just tell me. Tell me what to do.”

Johnny slumps more, catching a moan on your shoulder as his tongue begins to lick at your skin, sweet skin he could devour right now if you’d just let him. “Please, need to fuck you so bad.”

The back of your head knocks against the wall, stroking faster along his length throbbing thick and hot in your grasp. “Fuck..”

Johnny bites down on your shoulder, jerkily thrusting into your palm with three messy strokes, a broken shout lost behind the bite as his teeth bury in hard enough to break skin.

“Johnny!” Hissing, you reach for his hair, using the dried paint on his stomach to clean off the cum seeping from his boxers onto the back of your hand. “That hurts!”

He apologizes weakly, lapping at the fresh teeth marks left behind. Hot breath panting along your throat as he recovers and comes down. “Sorry… really sorry.”

“Think you can fuck me like I deserve?” You say, twisting chunks of his hair between your digits. “You just came from a few touches, kid.”

“I can..” Johnny’s head hangs shamefully, chewing at the insides of his cheeks feeling embarrassed yet again. “I can..”

“Yeah yeah, you need to go clean off.” shoving at his chest you nod to the door. “Don’t get paint all over my bathroom.”

“That’s seriously never happened to me before..” Johnny whispers, more to himself, rubbing at the back of his neck in disbelief.

“Not surprised.”

“Why?” He squints, taking in the sly smile lifting one of your cheeks.

“Little boys tend to be overzealous.” Patting his cheek, you nod to the door again. “Go.”

Johnny has to bite his tongue to stop himself from begging to fuck you one more time, nodding and bowing as he accepts the loss.

Maybe you were right.

Maybe you had him all figured out, Johnny contemplates, scrubbing the paint from his stomach under the stream of hot water hitting his skin, leaving behind pelts from the boiling temperature he’s set it at. A cold shower would have been for the best, especially now as he lathers up your body wash onto a cloth. The scent that clung to your skin still stuck to the backs of his teeth.

Fuck, I’m an idiot.

He sighs, dropping his head to rest on the shower tiles as his fist wraps the cloth around his length, half mass already just from the intoxicating scent of your steaming around his skull.

You never said no, and that’s enough to shoot dopamine through his veins, jolting his hips up as he turns and fucks faster into his palm; eyeing the red stained water swivel it’s way down the drain.

One way or another, Johnny was set to have his way with you. No married woman jerks off another man besides her husband willingly like that.

Shouting between gritted teeth he watches release mix in with the red, more than determined to paint your insides the same way and make you regret toying with him.

Week 3

‘Headed out to meet the girl from the party last night. Probably won’t be back until late. Stay out of trouble will you?’

Johnny’s eyes squint, rubbing his forehead to will away the nasty lingering sensation of a hangover attempting to ruin his morning. Groaning, he lowers the brightness on his phone screen to give his friends message a thumbs up, that should be enough of a response.

Trouble is the last thing he wants right now, bending over to roll his forehead against the marble kitchen tile, he groans wondering if that party was even worth it.

It wasn’t.

Not really, not when all he could think about while different girls approached him with high hopes of hooking up was the pretty desperate housewife home all alone..

“Johnny?”

Trouble called for him, slowly pushing himself to stand straight and swallow down the breeze of salty beach air entering from the sliding door he’d opened earlier, he wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand; pushing a mess of highlighted brown locks away from his face before forcing a smile to greet you.

“Morning!” His teeth chattered together upon finding your concerned gaze, blinking to disguise the quick scan of your figure covered by nothing but a thin baby pink negligee.

“Morning..” You say softly, slowly tip-toeing closer to the end of the kitchen counter he’s gripping onto to stop himself from keeling over. “You guys must have had fun last night?”

Johnny nods, adding a bored shrug. “Nothing amazing, I was just about to go for a run along the beach. Need some fresh air to blow away the remnants.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Bumping into his side to examine his face up-close, your tongue clicks, raising your fingers to drag through messy strands of hair masking his eyes. “You look like shit, kid.”

Johnny cuddles into the touch with a low groan, similar to a cat purring and burying its cheek into your palm, the corners of his lips lifting at the nickname. “Thanks, you almost sound like you care about me.”

“Don’t go for a run.” Dragging him to sit at the kitchen counter, you instruct him to stay put. “I’m gonna make you my hangover smoothie, always remedies Jihoon after a night of drinking.”

Johnny’s face immediately dips into a frown, perching his chin onto his palms with sad puppy eyes. “Must you mention him right now?”

Gathering up ingredients to cure your guests current problem, you dryly laugh, beginning to chop up ginger and garlic cloves. “Have you ever heard of this thing called gratitude? You’re living under his roof for free after all.”

“It’s a shame really..” Johnny grumbles, rubbing circles into his temples.

“Hmm? What’s that?”

“That I have no other way to thank him than by fucking his young hot wife.” He grins lazily, sighing between a laugh at the dramatic gasp you let out and your jaw plunging down to the floor. “You’ll have to relay the message for me— you know, if the old man can even handle what I’m going to do to you.”

“God, here I am trying to relieve your pain, and all you can talk about is your stupid horny teenage boy fantasies.” You sneer, tossing the concoction of ingredients you’ve readied into a blender before twisting about the kitchen to grab a cup, cursing under your breath as you reach a top shelf and trigger a pesky kink in your neck.

“Need help?” Johnny’s already on his feet before you can protest and insist he needs to stay put again, pressing to your back to reach overhead and set down the glass before you. He hums, pinching the part of your neck that meets your shoulder. “You pull something?”

Swatting at him, you nod, clenching your eyes shut. “Think I fucked up my neck between this new pilates class and lugging around new appliances for my paint room. Ahh—“

Johnny kneads harder at a knotted muscle between his thick fingers, pressing the heel of his palm in to add pressure. “And Mr. Jeong hasn’t hired you a personal masseuse yet? Someone’s worried about his pretty trophy getting polished off by another man.”

“Ugh..” hunching forward to grip on the counter you gasp between trying to keep your breath calm. “That hurts!”

“Yeah, I bet it does.” Johnny moves your hair aside, pressing his nose closer to inhale the scent of your shampoo still clinging to your scalp. “Do you always smell this good first thing in the morning?”

“I don’t know..” answering mindlessly under his weighty palms, you let out an embarrassingly satisfied groan, pushing your hips back to get comfortable with your elbows on the counter. A choked sigh emits from behind you using the opportunity to press closer and lock his hips to your barely covered backside.

“That was too easy,” Johnny snickers, rocking his girth between the dip that's formed on your bottom. “Mrs. Jeong, what would your husband think??”

“Ugh.. you little..” between staggered breaths you curse him, reaching back to push at his abdomen only for Johnny to tether your wrists together with one hand, his other unwilling to release the back of your neck.

“Little?” Johnny says brazenly, pushing roughly against your lower half, the toes of his sneakers knocking your ankles apart until you spread eagle over the counter for him. “Say that again?”

Another powerful cant of his hips has you gasping, struggling to release from his unyielding grip. “Fuck..”

“What was that Mrs. Jeong?” Johnny tsks, throwing a twist between his eyebrows to display the foul act. “What would your husband say? Acting like such a slut for his damn near second son? Have some shame.”

“Johnny!” Between gasping you manage to pinch at his hand and free one of your wrists. “Jaehyun could walk in at any moment!”

“Don’t worry your pretty head off about him,” Johnny sucks in his lower lip, maneuvering his hips back enough to view the stain that’s formed on your pathetic excuse for sleepwear. “Would you look at that?”

“Stop! Don’t look!” You almost believe your pleads, knocking against the cabinets before your legs when the cool blow of air conditioning shivers up your bottom as Johnny leisurely gathers the fabric of your negligée with one fist.

“Soaked right through your underwear sweetheart. Tell me to stop, tell me this isn’t because of me.” Johnny says heatedly, wedging your underwear higher with his other hand, the fabric bubbles with more wetness as he tugs it between your folds, kissing the backs of his teeth. “So fucking wet.”

“You c-can’t..” you gasp, bouncing against the burning pressure Johnny’s created down your center.

“That’s cute..” He chuckles, grinding together the backs of his teeth from the way your ass jiggles, just begging to clap back against him the more you shake at your knees. “Who’s going to stop me baby?”

“Ja-Jaehyun, he—“

“Jaehyun doesn’t give a fuck.” Johnny interrupts your sad excuse to make him stop, sliding one of his digits up your thigh to collect a dollop of wetness that's begun to trickle down past mid-thigh. “Your husband can’t do shit either. So bold and moronic to leave his pretty little slut of a housewife home alone, allow you to prance up and down the beach showing off your perfect tits, fat peachy ass.”

“He-he could..” You gulp, losing train of thought when he slaps at your butt, a large palm cupping the pert round of your ass hard enough to leave prints behind to catch sight of in a mirror the next day. “..wa—walk in.”

“Shut up about Jaehyun,” Johnny spits, delivering a rougher slap to your ass. “Suddenly you want to act like step-mom of the year? You knew what you were doing, we all know what you want.”

“Please..” You whimper, reeling from the sting of pain shooting to the back of your thigh.

“You know what could cure my hangover better than a smoothie?” Johnny asks, ripping your soaked underwear down to the tops of your thighs and cursing under his breath at the full visual of your glossy cunt. “Your tight pretty pussy.”

“Ugh!” Groaning, you scratch at the surface of the counter, slipping further and further away from your sanity; the last of it exiting your body at the first brush of his length between your folds. “Johnny!”

The shrieked scream of his name has him bending over, pressing the full amount of his weight onto your back to smash your breast on the cold surface. “What was that?” He grabs your chin, forcing your head to turn to the side and plant your cheek on the counter. “Speak up, tell me to stop.”

“Please..”

Johnny’s tongue clicks, wrapping a fist around the base of his girth to control swiping the tip between your folds. Teasing you with the occasional press of his cockhead against your pulsating hole. “Please stop Johnny, I’m an honest married woman.” He mocks, pouting and pulling your bottom lips open, your heavy breath leaving a cloud of moisture along the marble.

“Please..”

Johnny sneers, twisting your neck to a more pained angle to refocus your eyes on him. “Please spit in my mouth, treat me like a nasty cock slut, fuck me like a whore with your big cock.”

He nods your chin up and down, pupils blown wide as he dips the tip of his cock inside your entrance. The rim of it snapping like a rubber band around his bulbous size as he draws away. “Slutty fuck hole has more to say than you? Fine.”

Keeping your lips propped open with his fingers dug into your cheeks, Johnny gathers up saliva, lapping it from corner to corner inside his mouth. His plump lips purse together to pour it out slowly, a thick wad of it stretching out to land on your tongue with whimpered cries following behind. The act pushes tears from your eyes in disbelief.

Jaehyun’s father would never spit in your mouth, let alone call you any type of degrading names. As if able to read your mind, he snaps you out of it by jerking your head around, landing soft slaps on your cheek. “Swallow.”

Johnny waits until your throat bounces, evidently sucking down his spit and smiles as you gaze back with large watery half-dazed eyes. “What do you say?”

His thumb smears your lips, shoving the fat of your lower lip side to side with a glint in his eye. “Thank You..” You say, almost timidly, shivering at the thought of giving him the wrong answer.

“That’s right.”

“I shouldn’t..” You say nervously between inhaling, thighs wobbling in anticipation of knowing what comes next.

“You shouldn’t? Or you don’t want to?” Johnny cocks an eyebrow, eyes half-lid as he watches thoughts run rampant behind your gaze.

“Want to..”

Johnny licks his lips, alternating to cup your pussy from the back and slot his palm against your entrance cruelly, the tips of his calloused fingers pressing down on your clit. Cock landing in rapid slaps on your ass leaving a mess of your wet arousal with each hit. “You hear that? So fucking wet for me sweetheart. Here I thought only a real man could turn you on this much.”

Johnny leans back down again, capturing your lips and the moan you let out as two fingers push past the heat of your entrance. The sound of wetness echoes throughout the kitchen, obscene and loud, sprouting out onto his palm like a broken faucet. “Love how I play with your pretty pussy don’t you baby?”

He licks between the seam of your lips, demanding to be let in with a firm push of his tongue. Easily dominated by his larger mouth finding control as you gasp out a moan, scissoring apart his fingers to stretch you open. He bites at your upper lip, pulling the fleshy meat between his as he shifts to hover over you and lick the swell that's begun to form from his bite. “So tight, knew that your husband couldn’t possibly be making use of your perfect pussy.”

Johnny grunts, shoving a third finger inside of you to push against the inside of your velvety dripping walls. “God, how am I supposed to fit in here?” Raising his voice over the sound of your slippery wet cunt, he grins, forcing a fourth finger inside of you and working into a speedy pump. “Your useless husband should thank me, finally someone to satisfy his pretty little trophy wife, make use of her young tight body. Ruin you for any other man.”

Shifting to grab the back of your neck in a chokehold, Johnny keeps your upper half held down flat on the counter, working his other arm to a rapid pace that has you shouting. Tip-toeing off the ground from the throttle of his fingers, pushing the coil in your gut to constrict your insides and spill over the tears you’d been holding in. A slew of pleading and curses spilling out between the sound of creamy wetness hitting his forearm and hips.

“That’s it, opening up so fucking nice for me pretty.” Johnny pulls out abruptly, mouth desperate for a taste. Having to wipe his hand off on his shorts just to get a proper grip on your ass. He falls to his knees quickly, pulling your buttcheeks apart to drag his tongue from clit to your wrinkled hole, missing your dripping entrance just to hear you suffer. Squirming and quaking under the fierce hold he grips you in.

He bites down on the swell of your ass, groaning between sucking at the fleshy meat, fingers pressing in harder to fully display where you leak for him. The complete visual of you so obscene, clenching around nothing with your fingers buried in your mouth to contain your cries. “Fuck. So fucking tiny..”

He prods at your entrance, circling the stubby tips of his nails against it to watch another tremor of anguish roll up your thighs. “Tell me baby..”

Johnny glides two digits back inside, having to tuck his lip in to lower the growl in his chest. “Want me to fuck you?”

His tongue curls up, tracing the outline of your hole squeezing his fingers, swirling around your clenched rim that taunts him with the idea of fucking your ass until you’re pitifully groveling. Sulking and begging for him to slow down, go harder, fuck my ass until I break.

“Not…n-not right..” you whimper in spite of your desire screaming out otherwise from every direction. Fighting back the orgasm his fingers are plowing out of you, curling up where you need and pressing with a hard wiggle until your ass jiggles against his face. Tightening around his fingers too much as you hit release, having to stop his ministrations from the grip. “please..I’m married.”

“That makes one of us.” Johnny sighs, popping his fingers free to glide against his tongue. Eyes rolling to the back of his skull, dizzy just from the taste of your hitting his tonsils. “Only one of us has to care.”

Pushing up off his knees, he loops around your waist from behind, chin perched on your shoulder to lick at the shell of your ear, whispering close enough for your eardrums to vibrate. “And it’s not me.”

Hauling away from the counter, Johnny directs you toward the living room with his knees banging into the backs of yours. Protests falling silent as he spins you to face him and cups your cheeks with damp palms. “No one has to know.”

Not allowing you more time to think, his mouth crashes down on yours to stop the next thing you can say to convince yourself that this is wrong. If it’s so wrong, then why do you like it so much?

Johnny doesn’t have to ask you, he knows you’d put up a fight if you really cared. Knows you’d yell at him and push him off instead of lifting your arms above your head for him to strip you free of your nightgown, freely exposing your bare breasts for him to grab and massage, pinching your already hardened nipples as he sucks on your tongue.

“This is what you needed all along, someone to put you in your place.” Johnny’s lips lower to your chest, wrapping his mouth around your nipple to suck on, pulling it between his teeth as his hands cup your ass. Bending at his knee to lift you off your feet, he turns effortlessly, laying you down on the couch you’ve spent many nights with your husband watching movies; more nights alone scrolling through your phone burning through his credit cards.

“Told you I’d fuck you how you deserve baby.” Johnny says, wishing you hadn't insisted on acting so resilient. Now he’d have to make use of the next few days to fuck you morning and night until you have to beg him to carry you, legs too worn out. Leave your cunt raw and used, not like Mr. Jeong would even fathom the idea of his son's best friend since childhood doing something this low to him, not Johnny, the alleged ‘good influence’ on his son.

“Gonna be good for me? Take it like you deserve?” Johnny kicks off his running shoes, easily shoving aside the throb in his skull in favor of devouring you. Pushing his shorts off in one sweep, he positions between your thighs as if his life depends on it. As if you’ll suddenly wake from your spacey horny daze and slap him across the face.

Gripping your chin, he forces your glossy eyes back on his face, sharp features more shadowed from the light streaks of sunlight entering the mostly dimmed room. He’s straight out of a wet dream above you, hair tousled, sweeping down above his strong eyebrows and hooded eyes. Lips swollen fat from the assault delivered to your mouth, and a body you can only squeeze your eyes shut tightly to imagine on top of you while your husband sloppily thrusts and cums too fast.

“Want you.. want you to fuck me.” You drawl, ready to wail as you clutch at his waist. The dips of muscle melting beneath your palms. “Please.. fuck me like I deserve.”

Johnny’s nearly mortified by how red the engorged head of his length looks, stroking up the base as if he needs any help to fully harden, aching between his thighs where his balls sit heavy; dying to release load after load inside of you.

“I know, pretty baby.” Johnny has to take a deep breath, pushing at the back of one of your thighs to swipe between your creamy coated folds, biting down on the tip of his tongue as you tremble in his hold and let out a wet pleading sob to get fucked.

He struggles to slide inside despite how wet you are, mentally and physically cursing, sucking at the drool ready to pour from the corners of his lips. He has to shut his eyes to not cum already, the image of your perfect pussy taking his cock finally feels overwhelming, it’s too much, a culmination of his every thought since the moment he saw you sat on his board with your thighs spread open. He knew he had to have you.

“Fuck, you feel so perfect.” Johnny hisses when he bottoms out, his heavy sack smacking at your rim as he lodges himself in place. Head swirling as you clench up around him and let out the prettiest moans he’s ever heard.

“Big… s’big..” more tears brim your eyes, tugging your lip between your teeth to not wail as a batch of salty wetness rolls down past your lips and pools at your neck.

“Just for you.” Johnny tries out an experimental roll of his hips, stomach sucking in rapid convulsions from how deep inside of you he’s reaching. Unable to even bring himself to take in the hint of bulge protruding on your mound. “Need to get fucked stupid so bad, don’t you sweetheart?”

He can’t wait anymore, patience out the window as he draws back to the tip and rams forward, earning an ear shattering shout from the confines of your chest. He grips onto your thigh, hoisting it around his hip for better leverage as his other hand stays splayed on the back of your knee, pushing your flexibility to its limits with each thrust.

Johnny can see your breasts rise and fall between labored breaths, the rapid motion forcing your tits to bounce delectably, leaving his mouth no choice but to capture your nipple between his teeth and bite.

The drag of his cock feels heavy, near painful from after already cumming. It hurts in a good way, in a way you’d begun to forget. Lost to the torturous slam of his cock spacing out your insides, as if to claim your cunt for no one other than himself.

“Not gonna last much longer,” Johnny says between raspy short breaths. Pistoning into you roughly, nearly inaudible above the booming sound of skin slapping skin. “You’re just too fucking good.”

“You.. you have to..” struggling to breathe too, you can hardly form your thoughts coherently, fucked into another dimension as Johnny keeps going. Cock plunging in and out of you faster, faster than your husband’s ever been capable of.

“No.” He grits, planting his palm against the back of your knee to keep you held in place; not that you have anywhere to go.

“Johnny.. have to..” You start to say again, another orgasm threatening to silence you when he slams in at another angle. Shocking you with the press of two fingers on your clit, working the stiff little bundle of nerves expertly. The relentless pace he fucks into you with never faltering, hip bones smack against your pelvis with a sharp clap. “P-pull out.. can’t.”

“No.” Johnny repeats, sinking in impossibly deep. Delirious as you think the length of his size reaches what feels like the back of your throat. The constant reminder that you haven’t been fucked this good in years echoes at the back of your mind. Perhaps you’d never been fucked this good, definitely not since before the days you found yourself sat across from Jeong Jihoon interviewing to be his secretary fresh out of university. The thought that he’d end up asking you to marry him after a year of fooling around never once crossed your mind. The thought that you’d crave for another man to disrespect you in your happy home, cheat on the man you allegedly love; the man you married for an easy life, never once had occurred to you.

“You’re mine now, don’t fucking tell me what to do.” Johnny rages, bending closer to hover his face above yours. “You make your husband pull out?”

Johnny jaw locks, flexing at the sides where his cheeks start to hollow. His muscles tight and corded from staving off the release he so desperately wants to fill you with, release he wants to keep you full of, watch it swallowed up ensuring you have a piece of him inside of you forever.

“Johnny..” You whimper, pushing a palm against his chest as fresh tears line the rims of your eyes. “S’too much.. can’t anymore.”

“Liar.” Johnny can feel moisture itching at the backs of his eyes, ready to tear up himself from the way your tits bounce with every brutal jostle of your bodies colliding together. “What happened to handling big things, huh?”

A wash of pride puffs out his chest, dipping at his waist as he drives every inch of his length inside, the stretch hurting more now as he barrels another orgasm out of you, much weak this time, still gushing enough clear liquid out to drip down past his balls.

“Fuck, you’re such a mess for me.” Johnny can feel his long overdue orgasm building to its breaking point. Choking on his saliva as he focuses on where the two of you connect, cock drenched with the glisten of your never ending release. “Look so pretty when you’re getting fucking ruined.”

“Joh-johnn—“ You try to speak, digging your nails into his chest, may as well be babbling in another language for all he cares. “Too big for me, too m-much.. please..”

His hips finally come to a stand still, groaning from the depths of his chest in a guttural tone. Johnny should be ashamed of the whined shout that breaks out of him, fucking into you with three rapid fire thrusts that send him over the edge. Pushed hard enough to lurch him forward, boneless as he plants on top of you and punches the air from your chest with his, the hold on your thighs weakened, flopping your legs around his sides numbly as his cock throbs against your insides. The tip of it painting your cervix with spurt after spurt of thick white ropes.

Johnny’s not sure he’s ever cum this hard before, the sensation rattles up his spine, buried balls deep as he trembles and falls apart. The amount of release is too much, pouring out around his thick size to drip it’s way down between his inner thighs; sticky and hot where it glues his skin together with each slight circle of his hips. “Fuckfuckfuck..”

Between his eyelashes fluttering, Johnny watches your chest heave, mind continuing to spiral from your release. He thinks you’re the prettiest woman he’s ever seen, especially fucked full of him, euphorically blissed out at his hands. He knew you’d be even prettier after ruining you, stripping you down to submit for him.

Mine. Should be mine. Fucked like you’re all mine.

Drawing back from between your legs as slowly as possible, Johnny admires how wrecked your core appears, twitching around his size as each inch glides free. It’d be a shame to waste all this cum, if not for how debauched and pretty your cunt looked like this. Covered in release that you took out of him. Mine. Mine. All mine.

“So.. Mrs. Jeong..” Johnny falls to your side, huffing as he lands.

“Ugh.” Smacking his chest, you roll your eyes. “Stop calling me that.”

Johnny licks up your neck, biting down on your jaw until you let out a pained squeak. “I’ll have to come back next summer, don’t you think?”

His pouty lips litter kisses higher, tugging your earlobe between his teeth with a light teasing bite. “Maybe even Christmas, Thanksgiving? Hmm, I know how busy your husband can get.”

“What would my husband think? Suddenly his son's friend has decided to hang around every holiday?”

“Best friend, you know Mr. Jeong says I'm always welcome. A polite and intelligent young man such as myself.” Johnny informs, lapping at your ear between words. “He really thinks of me as his own son.”

“My husband’s a very cunning man..” You retort, twisting your neck to face him. “He managed to make me his, you know.”

Johnny’s eyes flicker over your face, the regular pace your chest rises and falls at again, thumbing at your bottom lip. “He’s smart.”

“Really smart..”

“I’m smarter.” Johnny says confidently, pushing the tip of his thumb past your lips. “And I always get what I want.”

Always get what’s mine.

Finally i was able to read this!!! I can't believe the series is over ☹️

I wanted to kill Jaemin many times but he made up for it with all the cheesy things he did and idk he was just so lovable, thank you for sharing another amazing story with us.

besties (gone sexual)

❝ c'mon, you know i’m better than all the guys you’ve slept with. ❞

PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, angst, crack, college au, coming of age, best friends to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, slowburn, alcohol consumption, lowkey fwb, hints of found family, jaemin has douchebag tendencies, love triangle ft. sunwoo from tbz, sex, fingering, oral (m. receiving), oral (f. receiving), dirty talk, commitment issues, jaemin’s a vet tech, mentions of throwing up, bitch hunter shenanigans 

SUMMARY ▸ na jaemin, resident playboy and serial heartbreaker on campus, thinks he might have a crush on you. this is concerning because he’s slept with your roommate before, who called him something along the lines of “a waste of a human.” another reason why this is concerning is because you happen to be jaemin’s best friend of seven years, and you know far too much about him to ever consider dating him.

PLAYLIST ▸ starboy by the weeknd • moondust by jaymes young • as it was by seungkwan • i like u by niki • to you by seventeen • rainbow by nct dream 

WORD COUNT ▸ 43,440 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ WOW it’s over ?? this feels kinda crazy omfg but i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy it !! i will kiss you if you get through this behemoth of a fic omg :’) fourth installment of the bitch hunters series ♡

NA JAEMIN HAD A REPUTATION.

It wasn’t a great one, but it also wasn’t a downright terrible one. It was often the result of Jaemin engaging the girls that fell all over him at parties, and then once they figured out he was notorious for breaking hearts, he would hear them spreading rumors about him the very next day. Jaemin’s like this, Jaemin’s like that, and Jaemin could have easily shut them down, but he never did.

Why? Because they were half-true.

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My eyes have been blessed

an intellectual?