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when they could actually make heavy music but management won’t let them :)

*puts on a wizard hat*

<|:)

I like the “my driving scares me too” lmfao

Wisdoms of a Slytherin #2

Sarcasm is not an attitude. It’s an art.

Draco Malfoy

That’s already a valid reason for you to reblog. Now.

Yeah, Egg Boy is awesome, but let’s not overlook these guys…

[x]

Reported Bigfoot Sightings

be my mistake

A/N: Hi I haven’t actually written since 2014, but here I am. This is just a lil something based on the song “Be my Mistake” by The 1975. (the song that says “she makes me hard, but you make me weak”) Anyways PLEASE give me feedback! hopefully I continue writing and get good at it. 

Word count: 2.3k

-

They met through friends at a party and he thought it would be funny to follow her around and annoy her, so he did. He ended up in her bed that night. It was a drunken mistake, but they didn’t seem to mind it. It became a regular thing, everytime they were at a party together they would end up in a bed together. They never established any labels or what they were. They never referred to the situation as friends with benefits, even though that is what they both thought. She was different but he couldn’t figure out why.

-

It was a thursday night in Los Angeles and her friend convinced her to go out so she wouldn’t have to go to a party alone to meet a guy her friend was talking to. Being the friend she was, she wasn’t going to let her friend go alone so she agreed to follow her along. Once they arrived to the party, her friend went off to find the guy she had been talking to, leaving her alone. She wandered the house with her mixed drink in her hand and found the room where most of the people were talking and dancing with each other. She sat on a chair as she watched the people around her. She wasn’t drunk enough to dance and talk to people she didn’t know, yet. “You don’t dance?” A voice said from beside her. She turned her head to look at the dark haired boy that stood next to her. “Not drunk enough to dance yet.” She chuckled. “Want me to help you with that?” He asked reaching his hand out to her. She grabbed his hand and pulled herself off the chair and followed him to the kitchen.

They sat next to each other on the tall kitchen stools and sipped on the drink that were in their hands. She convinced him to try diet coke and vodka, it wasn’t anything special but it was her favorite. “Are you drunk enough to dance yet?” He looks her up and down. “Are you asking me to dance with you, Hood?” She said as stood up grabbing his hand gesturing for him to copy her movements. They both stumbled back a bit due to the alcohol they just drank and she laughed as she fell into his chest. She took advantage of the opportunity and pushed on his shoulders so he would bend down so his face was at her level. She put her hands on his cheeks and whispered in his ear, “Want me to dance for you in private?” She wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she hasn’t hooked up with a boy in months, the alcohol she just drank, or both. But she let the boy drag her up the stairs of his friends house to the spare bedroom. Neither of them knew that this would become a weekly occurrence.

-

“Cal,” she looked over at him but he was still sleeping. She kicked his shin under the sheets and said his name a little louder. “Wake up” She said. His eyes began to flutter open and he looked at her and quickly mumbled a “no” before he went back to sleep. “Cal you have to get up” She said a bit louder trying to snap him out of his sleepiness. It was time for her walk of shame out of his LA apartment that happened weekly. She needed to leave before his friends came over for their writing session that took place on Sundays. His friends still didn’t have a clue what was going on. Even though she couldn’t care less, she knew that Calum wanted his friends out of whatever was happening between them. Yes, it hurt her but it’s not like they were dating or anything.

“The guys will be here soon” She said desperately trying to wake him up by tugging a bit on his hair. She knew how crazy that made him. “I don’t wanna see those dickheads” He said while opening his eyes completely for the first time this morning. She ignored his comment. “They should be here soon and we don’t have clothes on.” She tried to get out of Calum’s grip around her body but it only made him cling tighter to her. “Cal, seriously” She said sounding angry. He heard the tone of her voice realizing she wasn’t kidding and she was probably ready to kick him in the balls so he put his hands up to surrender. She climbed out his of his bed before stealing his shorts and a big hoodie, then went to the bathroom to freshen up.

When she walked back into his bedroom, he was scrolling on his phone and yet to leave his bed. She walked around the room and threw a pair of grey sweatpants at him. “Put em’ on” She said sternly. He looked at her and made a mocking face and mumbled something under his breath. She walked over to him to hit his chest playfully and stuck her tongue out at him. He caught her wrist and pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into his chest and back into his bed. And that is when they heard Calum’s bedroom door open. They looked at each other before looking at the three band mates that stood by the door staring at them. At least I have clothes on she thought. Meanwhile, Calum felt as if his life was over. He wanted what was between them to be their thing. Now it wasn’t.

“Since when are you two..” Ashton opened his mouth first pointing between Calum and her. “We aren’t” He said sternly as she rolled off his bed and slipped her shoes on. “Urm I guess I’ll see you boys later?” She said more as a question. Everyone in the room but Calum said a quick goodbye. Ashton walked over to Calum’s bed and sat at the end looking at his best friend. He knew calum almost as good as he knew himself. “It’s ok, mate. Whatever is making your face look like that, it’s okay” Ashton said. He nodded to himself as the boys left him in his room to get dressed. Never again Calum said to himself. What they had, had to be done now. He didn’t know why. He had no idea why his mind and stomach felt the way they did but he hated everything he was feeling. He hated feelings.

-

They weren’t exclusive. But neither of them have hooked up with someone else. Neither of them have yet to have a thought about hooking up with someone else in the past couple weeks. He was on her mind as much as she was on his mind. But it has been over four weeks and she has yet to be at a party that Calum was at. She saw his best friends but he was always absent. She didn’t ask why because it wasn’t her business. They weren’t dating or anything, why should she be concerned? She hoped whatever the reason was, it didn’t have to do with the reason why he always left her snapchats and messages on read.

This night was different, he was there with another girl. She was tall, blonde, and looked like a supermodel. She was gorgeous. But she knew what calum liked and that girl was not his type. She wouldn’t open her mouth to say that though. It stung seeing calum with another girl but there was nothing she could do about it. Her mind reminded her that they weren’t dating. They just were each other’s fun hookup at the end of the night. They were each other’s mistake. She hated the fact that her mind kept reminding herself this so to avoid her feelings she poured even more vodka in her red solo cup. She sipped on her vodka as she sat on the chair in the fancy LA mansion as she watched him interact with a girl that wasn’t her. She watched as he lead the mystery girl to the upstairs of the house. Everyone knows what happens upstairs. She knows because that where he used to lead her every night they ran in to each other. She was going to need way more vodka tonight.

Calum found himself in bed with a girl that wasn’t her. And it felt wrong, everything about it. The new girl in his bed wouldn’t laugh at the jokes he said, instead she would give him some sort of sympathetic smile. She always laughed at his jokes he thought. He tried to get her out of his head and focus on the girl that was on top of him. He couldn’t. He could only pay attention to the fact that while they were making out and how this girl was straddling his waist. That isn’t what he liked. When he was in bed with her, she knew that he like having her in between his legs so he could hug her in between his thighs. And when he reached down to take off her skirt, he couldn’t focus on the fact that she was in her underwear in front of him. He could only focus on the fact that the girl was wearing pink underwear. She always wore black underwear, she knew it drove Calum crazy. But how was this new girl supposed to know this? She didn’t know him and she had no idea what she liked. And the fact that Calum wanted to have the girl that he was used to and that knew him scared the hell out of him. It scared him so much that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He left the girl in bed and went downstairs to find the one that he couldn’t get out of his head.

And there she was sitting on the ground with legs tucked into her chest, a ice pack sat on her left wrist and it was held into place with Ashton’s hand. The sight of her with tears down her face and an ice pack on her body made his heart ache. He hated how this situation made his stomach and his mind feel. Seeing her in pain, made him feel pain. He crouched down to the floor and sat next to her. His hand replaced Ashton’s as he held the ice pack on her wrist. “What happened doll?” He said looking down at her. Her brain could only focus on the fact that he called her doll. “I got hurt.” She stated. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. Ashton sat down next to calum, “Some asshole wouldn’t leave her alone so this girl threw a punch.” He said laughing lightly. Calum’s eyes went wide and Ashton could tell what his best friend was thinking, “No Cal, I kicked him out of my house, I knew you would kill him.” He paused, “And yes it was very hot to watch her knock a guy out with a punch.” Wow Calum thought Ashton really knew him well enough to read his mind.

He hated the fact that he felt a need to protect her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her walk out the door to catch an uber to his apartment. She rested her head on his shoulder and placed her hand on his thigh. “You always do this to me cal.” She mumbled. He looked at her and chuckled, “what take you to mines?” She shook her head, “no you always somehow get me to come back to yours even when it is the number one thing I try to avoid” She stated. He wanted to know why she was avoiding him. Was it the same reason he was avoiding her? He thought. He looked down at her and didn’t say anything else. He leaned his head on top of hers and looked out the window of the car. After a few moments of silence she spoke up again, “I have to avoid you because I want you. Not in the way that you want me.” She said. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

The walk to Calum’s apartment was different this time. They weren’t telling jokes and laughing at each other or racing down the hallway. She leaned onto him as they walked down the hallway in silence. Once they reached his door, she walked straight into Calum’s bedroom and sat on his bed. She took off her heels and stripped her clothes off when Calum walked in with a cup of water for her. He placed it on the bedside table on her side of the bed that she slept on when she was over. He looked on the floor of his room and gave her a t-shirt for her to wear and helped her slip into it. “You do too much for me Cal, thanks.” she said as she slipped under the blankets in his bed. He didn’t know how to respond, but he knew exactly what he wanted to say, if he had the balls to say it. “It’s because I love you” Calum thought but he didn’t dare say it to her. Instead he changed into more comfortable clothing and turned the lights off. He got into his bed and faced away from her and stared at the wall. He was going to have trouble sleeping tonight.

“You make me weak.” She said.

Her heart was racing and she couldn’t control all the thoughts she was having. But she needed to hear Calum say something, anything, of what was going on inside his mind. He sat up, making her copy his movements as they stared at each other. They were both scared. “We were a mistake. I can’t be in a relationship.” He said looking down at her. She pressed her lips together and looked away from him. She hated when he saw her weak. She didn’t want to be weak, why would he date a girl who can’t control her emotions? She thought. He grabbed her jaw gently and forced her to look at him in the eyes. He brought a thumb up to her face to wipe away her tears under her eyes.

“Be my mistake.” He said.

-

Tagging my favorite supporters. @wildhearthood @boytoynamedcalum @calumspeachy @sleepyemmalou @currentlyupcalsass

let me know if you want to be tagged in future writing posts

hot take: hozier is not a fae. he is a mortal from pre-christian ireland who ventured in the fae world, and found out 15 centuries had passed when the faes finally released him

other people’s puppies when you offer them your hand: *gives you their paw*

my puppy in the same scenario:

Slytherin: I don't have "delusions of grandeur" I AM grand and powerful and very, very sexy and you all just have to accept that

Slytherin: Once we are extinct I hope aliens will visit and see our empty desolate landscapes with JESUS IS COMING signs and assume that he ate us

Ravenclaw: I don't have the energy for this.

Gryffindor: For what?

Ravenclaw: *gestures vaguely*

It’s gone too far.

I understand that a lot of you guys didn’t enjoy the new collab with our boys and the chainsmokers. It wasn’t a banger, there was a lot of hype and there’s a lot of you who are majorly disappointed with it.

I also see that some of the fam doesn’t think that 5sos should be opening for The Chainsmokers. And yes, i think the boys being only an opening act isn’t what we think they deserve but hear me out.

The boys were so excited to release this song. they had so much pride in it, and were really trying to get us excited like they were. Ashton was posting about how pumped and happy he was to be performing for The Chainsmokers and all i’ve seen in the comments and on tumblr is hate posts about how he shouldn’t be just an opening act and that they deserve to be performing more then The Chainsmokers.

I’ve finally fucking done with the hate posts. It’s been done, they’ve made their happy, excited feelings shared with us. All i’ve seen posted was about how angry you all are about it.

IT’S ONE SONG.

It’s one song that our boys are fucking proud of. Let them be proud of it. All they want to do is share their music with the people they adore. They love us and all they wanna do is make music that makes them happy, for the slight chance it will make us happy too.

I respect everyone’s opinions on the matter, 100%. But i think it’s about time we stop posting about the boys’ relationship with The Chainsmokers. If they are friends then let them be friends. Stop pushing and pushing at 5sos to have higher standards.

It’s just not fair to the boys.

Just let them be happy with what makes them happy.

“The double agent for the patriarchy is basically just a woman who perhaps unknowingly is still putting the patriarchal narrative out into the world. Is still benefitting off, profiting off and selling a patriarchal narrative to other women. But it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You know, just because you look like a woman, we trust you and we think you’re on our side, but you are selling us something that really doesn’t make us feel good. You’re selling us an ideal, a body shape, a problem with our wrinkles, a problem with ageing, a problem with gravity, a problem with any kind of body fat. You’re selling us self-consciousness. The same poison that made you clearly develop some sort of body dysmorphia or facial dysmorphia, you are now pouring back into the world. You’re like recycling hatred. I find that really dangerous and I think it’s unacceptable and I don’t care if you’re a woman. I think constructive criticism is needed for anyone to ever evolve. For our gender to evolve we need some sort of constructive criticism. As long as we do it in a somewhat careful way. (…) So many of the worst things in the world have happened motivated by greed. And I just don’t think that’s an acceptable excuse anymore. How much money do you need? Really how much money do you need? How much money do any of these huge influencers who are worth millions or billions sometimes… why are they still promoting appetite-suppressant lollipops to young girls? And it’s not a fight against obesity. They have young, already slim girls, in their adverts for Flat Tummy company, this company that are absolutely everywhere, and they’re even being advertised in some of the most mainstream magazines, women’s magazines, and they have a billboard in Times Square. The money is built on the blood and tears of young women who believe in them, who follow them, who look up to them like the big sister they never had. It’s so upsetting and it feels like such a betrayal against women.”

Jameela Jamil explains why she thinks the Kardashians are “double agents for the patriarchy”

Notes to Thirteen Year Old Girls

When your best friend tells you all she had for breakfast Was a packet of Splenda and a Diet Coke, And she tells you that she’ll stop after she loses five more pounds, Do not believe her. Tell her mother. It does not matter how angry your friend gets. The pain of that will always be preferable to the pain Of seeing your best friend in four years Weighing as much as she does now Half-dead in the hospital.

When your father sneaks into your bed in the dead of the night, And he tells you that this is how fathers love their daughters, Do not believe him. Tell your English teacher. She will have read millions of stories of girls like you. There is a one in six chance that she will be a girl like you. There is a five in six chance that she will know what to say to you. There is a six in six chance that she will help you.

When your veins whisper to you in the moonlight And say that there are so many nightmares inside you That could be free If you would just open your arms, Do not believe them. Tell your school’s guidance counselor, No matter how scared you are Because whispers are liars, And opening your arms will only open the passage For more nightmares to climb in.

And when the therapists say that you are better, Totally better, And you don’t need to worry about the sadness again, Do not believe them. Always be cautious, because sadness has a way Of sneaking up on you When you’re not looking. Be careful. Be careful.

Slytherin x Hufflepuff

- first of all, the slytherin

- the biggest social outcast ever

- that “end of second semester” mood, but all the time

- and the hufflepuff would be the happiest little jelly bean

- they’re the last people anyone expected to get together

- it takes a little time but eventually ppl are so used to it they would actually die if they ever broke up

- slytherin always acts so tough but they cry around hufflepuff

- and hufflepuff is so protective of their slytherin like an angry little hedgehog

- they’re always together, hufflepuff dragging slytherin’s ass to parties and quidditch matches

- “it’ll be fun!”

- “no”

- “please?” *puppy eyes*

- *giving up* “fuck you”

- pillow fights

- eating ice cream and hufflepuff getting a brain freeze and looking so adorable slytherin can feel them self falling for them

- slytherin dropping things on purpose just so they check out hufflepuff

- and hufflepuff knows it

- “[slytherin], I want to take our relationship to the next level”

- “um..”

- “I want to raise a house plant with you!”

- just the most pure, cute relationship ever that no one understands but everyone is jealous of

Row, row, row your boat the fuck away from me.

Slytherin

a collection of my favourite photos of ash 3/?

I’m definitely Ash’s exhausted mood.

Tag yourself, I’m the dead look in Luke’s eyes