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NCT DREAM AS YOUR BF / IG PROFILES

cw: female y/n.

⚠️ none of the pics i used are mine, cr to owners!

☆ BONUS: y/n's profile

MARK LEE / TDS2 ENCORE (230601)

jealous texts from 7dream

req: by anon 💌

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: nct dream and long distance relationships

a/n: a fun 1 year anniversary of cinnajun special :-) also a celebration of broken melodies

wc | 2.6k

from worst to best at handling it

jaemin

i thought about this for a while, and i don't think jaemin would want to be in a long distance relationship at all

he strikes me as someone who really cherishes time spent with his partner, so having to be far away from them would be really hard

he’s also super aware of what he needs in a relationship and he knows that. so, if jaemin is the one going away, he’s going to break up with you

but if it’s you going away, he won’t force it unless he thinks it’s required/needed

if you end up in an ldr with him it means you’re probably not going to be gone for long, maybe a month or so, or you’re some kind of pillar in his life that he can’t afford to lose

being in a ldr with jaemin means he REALLY loves you, so congrats!!! but it’s also probably going to be agonizing

you probably spend most of your free time on the phone with him, and he’s forced you to fill out your weekly schedule on a google calendar so that he can see what you’re doing in his time zone

if you don’t put in the same energy he’s putting in, he will probably break up with you, and he makes that very clear with you before you leave

this is probably the hardest time of jaemin’s life because missing you all the time is something he really hates, and it’s hard for him to sort out those feelings knowing you’re likely off doing something super meaningful

the only thing that holds him together is the fact that he knows you miss him just as much (at least you say it every single time you talk to him)

he’s also probably going to visit you at least once, no matter where you are, if you’re gone for more than a couple of months

and he’s going to regret it right after because of how hard it’ll be to leave again

he just wants you back where he can shower you with love and make sure you’re happy and safe

it’ll be the trickiest part of your relationship with him, but if you can make it through mostly unscathed, it will strengthen your relationship more than you could ever imagine

chenle

similar to jaemin, chenle also wouldn’t want to be in a long distance relationship if given the option not to be

the only reason i’m putting him above jaemin is because he moved away from his family and his home, so he knows how to healthily communicate with the people he loves and continue relationships with them even if they aren’t constantly around him

but i think chenle values coexistence with his partner and would vastly prefer sitting in the same room as you silently rather than sitting on facetime with you silently

it’s really hard for him when you leave and he finds it hard to talk to you when he knows you’re so far away

but if you’re willing to try, so is he

chenle doesn’t need to be on the phone with you every time you’re both free and he doesn’t need to constantly know your schedule but he’d appreciate it i think

i also think chenle would trust his partner pretty unconditionally so he just wants you to update him frequently, even if you’re not doing anything too interesting

just hearing about your day, what shop you discovered or what cafe you went to, is enough for him to get through without feeling too depressed or sad

and hearing you say that you love him at every moment you possibly can

he’s too much of a loser to admit how much he misses you, but you can tell pretty easily lol

you’ll be on the phone and you won’t have spoken in a while and he’ll suddenly go “daegal really misses you” and you’re like “but you don’t?? okay i see how it is”

but chenle doesn’t want to admit he misses you because that means he’s letting the distance between you two get to him :(

chenle knows what it’s like to pursue your dreams away from home and he wants to support you as unconditionally as possible

so don’t worry about him, because he’s fine and he’s comfortable

but he’s going to worry about you 24/7

double standards 🙄

mark

if mark wasn’t who he was he’d be much more okay with it

but he’s a busy guy and it was already hard enough seeing you with his neverending mess of schedules and practices

and of course, for whatever reason you’re going away, he wants to support you really unconditionally so that you don’t feel like staying behind for him you know

but when you tell him you’re going away, he seriously considers breaking it off then and there

it’s less of an “i need to be near you” and more of an “i feel like i’m not going to give you the energy you’re giving me”

but after talking with his members he decides that he’ll give it a shot

tbh being in an ldr with mark might be harder for you than it is for mark you know

he texts you often but can’t call all the time, and your texts often aren’t replied to for hours (as for his too)

so mark comes up with the idea of sending each other care packages back and forth

surprisingly, this works really well

you still text and call as much as you can, but it receiving his poorly put together packages helps out with the yearning more than you can imagine

he’ll send flash drives with recordings of his studio sessions, polaroids of him and the boys, goodies he finds when he’s out and about, really anything you could think of

sometimes he even sends you receipts from when he eats out or gets groceries lol

all of them come with pages upon pages of “diary entries” where mark spells out his days for you, and he sends you his monthly schedule printed out and written in your time zone so you know when he’ll be out of commission and when you’ll be able to talk more (which is rare)

you do your best to match his energy and even buy a polaroid camera so he can see what you see, too

without these packages, you and mark probably would’ve broken up

but he would’ve done anything to keep you in his life, even if you were in space

mark lee i love u

haechan

haechan is pretty much in the same boat as mark except he’s way better at pestering you

i think he’s more online than mark is generally, so when you shared that you were going away for a while, i don’t think he was too panicked about it

the reason he’s not higher is because i think he’d worry about you a lot

like to the point where it started to impact his day to day life

he just doesn’t like being so far away from you because how is he going to save you if something happens??

he’d never consider breaking up with you unless he felt like you were moving away from him, but you’d have to understand that the distance between you is really impacting him

so you’d make little rules for each other so that you’d feel more comfortable with being so far from one another

like you have to call him when you’re taking an uber, and he has to call you every time he’s in a hotel

i also think you’d send each other letters a lot

they wouldn’t be full on care packages like with mark, but they’re just cute little tidbits of your lives on separate sides of the world

haechan would spray perfume on his letters (what a loser)

he’d also put on obnoxious red lipstick so he could kiss the paper (seriously a loser)

on a special day, like a birthday or holiday, you both get a small cake and celebrate together at a time that works for both of you (usually it’s close to midnight for the birthday person)

and you call a lot like it’s really obnoxious

and he texts you every waking moment of the day with even the most minuscule bits of information

“i just saw a gnat on the wall” like ok?? congrats i guess

and the best part is that the dynamic of your relationship barely changes, so you know you’ll come home and absolutely nothing will be different

so, for now, you’ll let him sing you to sleep over the phone and you’ll let him send you cheesy letters that make you cringe <3

renjun

renjun is kind of the opposite of chenle in a way

he obviously values the time you spend together, but he also knows that he did the same thing so he’s not allowed to be picky lol

renjun is the first of the boys who doesn’t consider breaking up even once, i think

i mean with the number of people who would drop dead for him, he’d like to believe that you, among everyone else, would be the worst off without him you know

and he’d be the worst off without you of course

long distance with renjun is actually kind of fun for the both of you

especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a really long time, i think you’d both find it exciting that you get to explore a world renjun hasn’t gotten to experience yet

so he kinda vicariously lives through you LOL

you often find yourselves facetiming when you’re walking throughout whatever city you ended up in, and you’ll show him fun things you find or tell him about the cafes you like as you walk past

renjun will also probably try to visit you as often as possible

whether or not it’s during breaks or making the group take a detour when they’re touring, renjun WILL be seeing you!!!

and he’s also the only boy who won’t get all sad and loserish when he has to leave again

he’s worried of course but like not in the way haechan is

if something is wrong he WILL be able to tell and so far you haven’t given the impression

nor have you ended up in the hospital

so as long as you’re functioning, he’s happy!

the reason he’s not the best at handling it though is because i think renjun would be an awful texter

he tries to get better at it when you leave and even pins your conversations but he lives on do not disturb and often forgets to reply

renjun is absolutely the type of guy to have like 200 unread messages

but he tries his hardest to change the habit for you!!

he even turned on read receipts for you so you could bully him when he ghosts you accidentally </3 he doesn’t have them on for anyone </3

so, to sum it up, being far from renjun isn’t terrible and can actually be fun for the both of you at times, but you still miss him a lot and can’t wait to go home

jeno

chronically online dreamie no. 1

at first jeno is really not on board i think, but he realizes that you’re both good at communicating when he’s off on tour and stuff so he gets over it quick

essentially nothing changes when you leave

the biggest thing though is that he misses you and uses that to his advantage, i think

while the other boys will stew in their sadness about your leaving jeno takes it as an opportunity to get like 30% worse LOL

as a result, most of the things he does that might be strange is just him saying that he misses you

jeno is like haechan in that he is annoying you at every waking moment of the day

in fact i think he’d be worse than haechan … like he is constantly blowing up your phone

if what you’re doing is for work, he’s definitely interrupted meetings before by calling you even though you told him not to

and then you call him back and scold him (while you hide in the bathroom during your lunch break)

if you’re in a country that has a similar time zone, you’re definitely the sleep-on-the-phone type of ldr couple

if not, you’re the on-the-phone-for-as-long-as-physically-possible couple

like once you took a day off on his day off and literally spent 25 hours on facetime … it was that bad

jeno literally slept for 10 of those 25 hours and you barely spoke to one another, too

i can also see you picking up gaming so you can spend more quasi-time with one another

your shared stardew valley world is really cute and pretty </3 except for the fact that he married one of the npcs instead of you with the excuse that “he’s not ready for real marriage”

jeno will also buy your essentials for you ?? it’s weird

you mention that you’re getting low on shampoo and a couple of days later an amazon box is sitting outside your door with a huge thing of your shampoo in it

he’ll also just send random items without telling you

like he sent a bottle of seasoned salt once with a gift note that read “this is good on avocado toast” and you were like ?? sure i guess

conclusion: long distance with jeno is a little strange but fairly easy

jisung

chronically online dreamie no. 2

the reason jisung is the best at handling rather than jeno is because he’s younger and therefore way more attached to you than say jaemin is

like if he were to break up with you he’s convinced the world will end and the rapture will happen

jisung is a little manic about it when you first leave and you can tell

he texts you “i love you” at 6 specific times throughout the day (times he knows you’ll be awake) and also sends like notes app recaps of literally every single thing he did that day

and you do it too because if you don’t it'll make him sad

but after a while, he calms down and things are actually really nice between you two

no matter your time zone, one of jisung’s favorite activities is to call you at a meal time so you can cook together

(cook together = jisung cuts a carrot for jaemin while you actually make a meal, or he is taking an astronomically long time to put his instant ramen together)

just in general, he’s good at long distance communication

he’s good at texting in the way that he never bombards you and never distracts you during the times you need to be focused on whatever you’re doing

he set a time with you every day to call, and, if he can’t he lets you know well in advance so you don’t feel disappointed later on

you have phone dates, you watch movies together on those like joint streaming apps (netflix party or something??), and you call each other while you do little tasks together

like you’ll mop your respective floors together or you’ll do your respective dishes with your phones propped up to show you doing it

he also doesn’t need to know what you’re doing at all times (and the same for you) because he knows you’re probably just doing what you usually did back home

it’s almost like he was built for an ldr idk

but he does what jeno does and just mails you random shit that you don’t have any use for </3 like jisung who needs a heart shaped sponge!!!

but it’s okay because he’s cute …

overall, when you get back, nothing will be different, which is the ultimate goal!! congrats on your successful ldr!!

thank you for reading!

texts w/ boyfriend!mark

our daily dose of mark lee 🩵

i have a request :^) could u pls do one where u send a dirty meme to them (kinda like the ones from @/cravedcuddle on twt) and maybe ur like "us" and just like how they would react to it? ig their general reaction to being sent dirty couple memes hehe thank youuu 💖✨

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ

love this a lot

me 🤝 dirty memes 🤝 assigning them to dreamies

Mingi · Bouncy the show 230620 encore performance

hello could you do an ateez reaction where reader wakes up in bed alone because they had to go for practice

ateez leaving reader for practise

this took me a bit to make TT but it’s here,,, i hope you like it anon!!

p. ateez: @italiekim @realjonko @aestheticsluut @rielleluvs @youngestdelacour @alanniys @dogsongy @mingiholic @sankatchu @stopeatread @miriamxsworld

✧ Ateez Mingi x reader ✧ words: ~900 ✧ genre: angst, comfort ✧ prompt: kissing away tears (from this list)

(requested by @mgmcprfan3​)

Sadness overcomes you again. You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry over this anymore, especially not today, yet here you are - tears welling up in your face, and you know it’s only a matter of time until they start trickling down your cheeks. You’re supposed to go on a date with your boyfriend Mingi for the first time in a while, having a few relaxed hours just to yourselves, yet here you are, hiding in your room mere minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up, and unable to control your feelings.

In between silent sobbing, you hear the ringing of the doorbell, and you’re not sure if you’re supposed to curse his timing or your feelings, so you simply curse without any particular aim, spitting out the word “fuck” through gritted teeth. You straighten your back and you take a deep breath, trying to focus on happy thoughts only. The doorbell rings a second time, and you shout,

“I’m coming!” You’re proud of yourself for keeping your voice steady, but when you rush to the door and you walk past the mirror right next to it, you can see your reddened cheeks and your puffy eyes - it’s obvious that you’ve been crying. The realization hits you like a punch right to your guts, and you open the door hesitantly.

Keep reading

✰ dating park jisung.

spontaneous dates.

dates with jisung will never be planned beforehand, 9/10 they’re planned on the spot. spending time at his and he will suddenly stand up, telling you that he wants to go and get ice cream together. or you could be watching tv at night before he asks you if the two of you can go outside to go star gazing. jisung loves the sudden excitement he gets from it, coming up with random ways of spending time with you is something he looks forward to which is why he always reminds you to keep your schedule open for him.

listening to his rambles.

jisung loves talking about anything. he’s a curious guy and because of his limited childhood he has a lot of stuff he’s inexperienced about which makes him very… thoughtful? he never runs out of questions and topics to talk about, and quite frankly, it’s very cute to listen to. watching him go from asking if you think he’ll ever be able to make a five star dinner for the two of you, to telling you about how he finds it ridiculous that people think aliens exist. he truly never runs out of topics.

jealous jisung is a cute jisung.

when jealous, jisung would most likely feel weird and sulky. he could be seeing you have fun with someone else that isn’t him and feel like you’re going to leave him after your done talking with that person. you could be telling him you’re busy and his mind would think you’re seeing someone else, which is why you have started to clarify what your plans are before leaving his place. sulky jisung would give you the cold shoulder and just be very pouty. “because you obviously don’t like me, right?” is his go to reason whenever you ask him what’s bothering him, but a small kiss could clear up all the misunderstandings.

how he asked you out.

it probably took him months and lots of courage to ask you out. jisung would not ask you out until he’s 100% sure you like him back, which is why he gets his friends to help him out by asking you very specific hypothetical questions regarding him, or he’ll suggest the idea of dating him every now and then, observing your reactions to make sure it was positive. he’d want to ask you out in a place where the is no one else, maybe while the two of you are hanging out alone. telling himself to breath and breath out, he’d tell you he needs to get something off his chest before he tells you he likes you a lot and would love the idea of being a couple, which much to his luck you agreed to!

kisses.

jisung rarely initiates kisses. the few times he does it took him a lot of self preparation, telling him that it’s okay because you’re his significant other. he’d be very shy as he asks you for permission to give you a kiss and when you say that it’s okay because he’s your boyfriend, he sighs before slowly leaning in and giving you a quick peck that was enough for him to feel his inside explode from excitement. and if he’s feeling bold he might even ask you if he can kiss you again, to which you tell him that he’s quite literally youre boyfriend. his kisses might be awkward at first but they’re nice the longer it goes on. when he kisses you, it’s like whatever you were lacking on your lips are completed by his as they’re almost perfectly fit for you. the soft texture of his lips against yours feels so nice that you can’t help but ask him for another one.

camera roll; park jisung

screenshots you’ve taken from facetime calls

more of the camera roll series

masterlist

ੈ♡.*·

change of heart

joshua x gn!reader

genre: pure fluff, college!au word count: 1.2k warnings: there is one kissing scene, lowercase intended synopsis: when you’re out for your senior graduation trip, you suddenly meet joshua and have a change of heart about your future plans.

 a/n: i had a dream about this scenario and it was so cute i had to write it down. i’m also back in my to all the boys phase and i loved nyu hence the reason I used it. also please excuse me for the amount of times i mentioned the levain cookies but it was 1am when i wrote this and i was craving the cookie so bad even when i’ve never had it before.

masterlist

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you grew up in an ordinary home -well mostly ordinary if you ignored the fact that it was an academically strict environment- with your parents. you completed your final ib exams. you were free for almost a month before you had to return for your graduation. you had been accepted into the university of toronto the month before and you were committed. 

now with exams gone and university chosen, your heart felt light and giddy as you dreamed about your senior graduation trip to new york. it was three days from now and you couldn’t help but imagine yourself indulging in new york’s best chocolate chip in the levain bakery. 

three days flew past by. you were pulling your suitcase behind you across the smooth-tiled airport floor with your best friend on your right. you saw your school's sign indicating which gate you should be in. 

you sat on your seat and waited for the plane to take off. your heart couldn’t stop beating and you promised yourself to have the best time in your life. 

you were reminded of the promise you made on the plane when you got off and made it to the heart of new york city. it was quite late so the school had dismissed us all to rest in our hotel rooms.

the next morning you woke up ready to shove ur face into those levain cookies you were drooling about for the longest time. however, you were met with the itinerary your teacher handed you as you entered the hotel lobby. the first thing on the list: visit and tour the nyu campus

you thought how wasteful this time was to you since you were already committed to a university. but you had no choice but to go along with it and visit it. maybe this would just be a good time to meet someone that has the same “chocolaty” passion for the levains cookies.

when you arrived at the nyu campus, your school was greeted by a small group holding their oriole nyu flags. you rolled your eyes at the sight and wished to just teleport to that one bakery you’d been raving about on this whole trip. your best friend on the other hand was psyched, her dream university was nyu and to see it in person was better than the levain cookie, at least that’s what she thinks. you had other opinions, opinions that were present yet discarded as soon as you saw that man. the man with the big doe eyes, plump lips and the best skin you’ve ever seen. you were fascinated, to say the least. 

when you were separated into groups you found out you were with that man. you learned that the man you had your eyes on was named joshua and a second year in uni. joshua was the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. not to mention he was extremely kind. the number of times you bumped into his back while daydreaming about him was unreal. even though it was your fault he apologized and continued the tour saying he’ll pick up the pace. the tour continued until he paused and said to take a quick break in the campus cafe. 

you sat down on the table near the window with a cookie and a coffee. you broke into the cookie and had a bite, it very much tasted like a regular chocolate chip cookie. a sigh left your mouth.

“are you perhaps not enjoying the tour?” joshua asked. with a surprised look on your face, you quickly shook your head no

“then why have you been sighing? is it me? sorry if i made the tour boring, i assure you that nyu is not boring, it is, in fact, anything but boring!” joshua reasoned. you giggled and he looked at you in confusion

“i’m not! i was actually sighing at the ordinary cookie here. i’ve been meaning to visit the levain bakery and taste their chocolate chip cookie but the school wanted to visit the nyu” joshua looked sorry and he was about to open his mouth to apologize when you interrupted “i have no complaints about that now though!” to which joshua sighed of relief and a smile formed on his face.

“are there any plans during the night?” joshua questioned. 

“no, i don’t believe so…” you replied hesitantly

“would you like to join my trip to the levain bakery tonight?” joshua turned his head to you and asked. you were needless to say shocked but nonetheless excited at the suggestion. you complied with a simple nod and he smiled. he gestured for your phone and input his contact.”i’ll text you the details but for now we should continue the tour” he spoke with the most gentle voice you have ever heard.

after the tour, joshua did in fact text you. 

“does 6 pm sounds alright? i can pick you up at your hotel. text me the details :)”

when 6oclock came rolling around your stomach was turning around with all the butterflies. you walked into the lobby to find joshua waiting. you ran toward him and apologized for being late. he dismissed it and said he was actually early and you were just on time. 

joshua and you walked to the bakery and you guys instantly clicked with all the common grounds you guys had on the walk. 

when you guys arrived, both of you went in line and picked out a decaf latte and the cookie and joshua asked for the same. when you’re été about to take out your wallet from your purse, joshua had paid instead. you apologized and thanked him. 

the first bite into the cookie was heavenly. it was more than you could’ve asked for. you could see why it was one of the world's most famous cookie. joshua just smiled at your satisfied face and moved to wipe off the chocolate on your cheek. 

as you savoured your first bite. you knew it. the decision that would forever change your life. 

“joshua.” joshua hummed in response. “ i actually didnt want to visit nyu today. i wanted to run away and cafe hop to find the best chocolate chip cookie because i felt no reason to tour the campus. why would i when i was already committed to uoft? now that was the case until you showed up. you showed me the colours of new york and nyu. maybe it was just this cookie or maybe it was you, joshua, but i have a change of heart” you pause before continuing “ i wish to stay, stay with you if you would allow me” you closed your eyes afraid of what was to come next.

you felt a pair of lips on your own. joshua pulled away shortly. 

“of course, i wish for you to stay beside me. i fell for you the minute i saw you and i want to create more memories like this with you.” joshua confessed

maybe it was the cookie or maybe it was joshua but in the end, you had a change of heart that led you to stay with him.

My kind of won. J.w Comforting you || 424 words

As much as im a horny piece of shit, i love fluffy won. (song: my kind of woman)

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“Don’t cry.. it’s okay..” He caressed your back softly and kissed the back of your head as you cried into his chest, gripping his t-shirt tightly and smudging your mascara all over his shirt. “It’s all my fault..” you let out small whines and sighs between crying your heart out. “Honey, look at me” He took you by your cheeks lifting your head towards him and stared into your red eyes. “You are the most beautiful, precious, kind, loving, caring, funny, perfect girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. I love you so so much, okay?” He shook your head as he stared into your soul. His soft brown cat eyes were full of love and concern. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you felt every single word he said. He gave you a peck on your swollen and red lips. “Do you know how much i care for you? You have no idea how much i love you and the things i’d do for you. Please don’t blame yourself. Your perfect like this. You aren’t in the wrong. You are enough, okay?” He wiped your tears off of your eyes with his thumbs and smiled softly and reassuringly. You cried and cried as he pulled you closer to his chest and hugged you tightly. “It’s all gonna be okay.. everything is gonna be alright..” He was caressing your back and playing with your hair as you dried your tears onto his shirt. “W-won… you know i love you so so much, right?” You looked up at him with a pout to cover how your crying face looked like. “Of course i know that, baby. Now come here.” He pulled you onto his lap even closer to him and he went to lay back on the bed with you in his soft and loving arms. “We’re just going to rest here, mmkay? I love you so much y/n”

You fell asleep to his soft touch. In his warm embrace.

“Morning beautiful” he kissed your cheek and caressed your shoulder. You were still on his lap, hugging him. His soft smile made you instantly warm and happy. “Did you sleep alright?” He scooted next to you and placed his other hand on your cheek to stroke it gently. “You’re so cute right now…” he booped your nose and kissed you again. “I-I slept alright..” you rubbed your eyes and yawned. “I hope you feel a little better now…” You simply nodded and softly smiled as you took a sip of the water he gave you.

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A/n: If you’re actually struggling, jsyk i am here. Fr i can listen and talk no need for even introductions bc i just want to make sure my readers are okay. Also if you actually need help, I courage you to ask for help <3 im here for you all

[ 23:58pm ] — i love you. remember that.

you and haechan were polar opposites. he was sociable, outgoing, popular, and charmed every person he crosses paths with. he was very ambitious and hardworking and was probably voted most likely to succeed in high school. you, on the other hand, preferred to keep to yourself most of the time, essentially satisfied with mediocrity, and an overall one’s usual plain jane.

you never understood why he liked you in the first place.

the insecurities in your relationship with haechan rarely clog your mind, but when they do, they hit you like a truck. you tended to distance yourself from your boyfriend, wallowing in your own self-pity until he maybe notices and coaxes you out of it.

you wonder how long until his patience with your negativity runs out and leaves you for someone else. someone better.

“you ok?” haechan’s voice snaps you out of your downward spiral. you blinked a few times out of shock, then responded curtly. “yeah, i’m alright.”

haechan narrowed his eyes at you, obviously not believing a word you’re saying. “penny for your thoughts?”

“it’s nothing, hyuck. go back to playing.”

you used his real name. haechan let out a quiet sigh, took off his headphones and squeezed himself next to you on the bed. you swore you could hear jaemin and jeno yelling at him through his headphones for being afk, but before you could point it out, haechan already has you locked in, his arms snaking around your waist and his legs tangled above yours.

“have i ever told you that you’re pretty?” he whispered.

“sometimes.” you hummed.

“maybe i should be saying it more.” he quietly chuckled.

“you don’t have to.”

haechan scooted almost impossibly closer to you, his breath fanning your neck, the distance between your bodies disappearing.

“have i ever told you that i love you?”

you pause for a moment, guilt creeping into your system. “always.” your boyfriend was one who never shyed away from expressing his feelings. he made sure you felt loved, you hear that you’re loved. his one question was a message to you – ‘i love you, yet why do you feel that way?’ why do you feel so insecure in your relationship when he has never failed to appreciate you? to love you?

“i love the way your forehead scrunches up when you focus.” he started, his fingers softly touching and gliding over your bare arms.

“i love the way you get excited when i come home with cheesecake.” he lightly laughed at the thought as his hands travelled up to your face, cupping your cheeks and making you face him. “i love the way you’re so goddamn bad at valorant, yet you play with me when i ask you to.”

“i think about you all the time. your smile, your hands, your face, your laugh. i think about you before i sleep, the moment i wake up, everytime i eat. it’s you that i see. you’re running through my mind all day it’s . . “ he let out a somewhat exasperated sigh. “you’re the only person who makes me this insane, y/n. really.”

“i love you, y/n. you and only you, just the way you are. forever and always.” his voice was much quieter now and his grip around your waist tightened.

“i’m sorry.” was all you could croak out

“it’s okay. i love you. remember that.”

the two of you were silent for a moment. the guilt in your system slowly subsided into feelings of gratefulness – you were thankful he noticed something’s wrong with you quickly, and you were also thankful he knew how to snap yourself out of it.

“wanna watch a movie?” you suggested.

“i’d like that.” he giggled. he slowly snaked himself away from you to get the tv remote, but his movement halted when you called out his name.

“donghyuck?”

his real name. again. he turned back to face you once more.

“i love you, too. forever and always.”

he grinned, moved closer to you and gave you a light peck on the lips.

“i know.”

a/n: i have returned. haechan making me feel things lately god im so in love w him it’s insanejfksmd.

NCT; #✼ boyfriend vs. the unintentional kabedon.

☆ incl ! mark, jaehyun, jaemin, haechan. ☆ ☆ genre ! fluff/comedy/est.relationship/gn.reader ☆ ☆ ☆ now playing ! boom / nct 127 ☆ ☆ note ! reader is my height. (sorry taller/shorter readers! you are now 5’5, enjoy or scroll past!)

「 mark 」 : “ … yo…”

✼ first of all. help him. he is completely unaware of what he’s doing.

✼ you can’t say anything, you don’t know whether to laugh or cry but you’re certainly blushing. mark’s hand is firmly planted on the wall right next to your head. he had reached for the top of your head and out of habit you’d dodged, stepping away. he’s managed to get you up against the wall.

✼ “dude, stop. i swear i saw a leaf or something in your hair.”

✼ you open your mouth but no words come out at first. you’re lost in mark’s concentrated eyes; he’s trying so hard to help you right now that you don’t have the heart to tell him not to worry about it.

✼ “there it is.” he reaches his other hand to your hair and your eyes automatically close for reasons you aren’t quite sure of. “got it…”

✼ “y/n? what are you thinking about?” he asks, and you can feel his fingers fluffing your hair and then stroking your jaw towards your chin. he stops there, tilting it up ever so slightly and you finally blink your eyes open at him.

✼ the smile on this guy’s face. he looks like he’s in heaven, just admiring you.

✼ but the second mark realizes you’re gazing back, his ears turn red and he looks away. he’s hopeless, really. you put your arm around his waist and give him a side hug. “thanks, baby.”

✼ “noooo problem.”

✼ HE WON’T LOOK YOU IN THE EYE.

「 jaehyun 」 : “... hello.”

✼ you thought it was unintentional, anyways. but now you weren’t so sure. for absolutely no reason, jaehyun had insisted on both opening the car door for you and doing up your seatbealt, and although you had no requirement for such favours when he asked you if you’d like him to you had no choice but to accept.

✼ he seems so fond, now, caring for you in every way he can. his hair flops over one of his eyes as he leans into the car to pull the seatbelt out and buckle you in. but then, one hand holding your seat from closer to the door, his face inches from yours, he stops.

✼ his eyes look straight into yours and he smiles in his slow, blooming way. his view casts down the bridge of your nose and at your lips, and then up again.

✼ “hello,” he says.

✼ “hi,” you say back.

✼ jaehyun kisses you then, sweetly enough that you can taste his smile. after that, he stands up and leaves you completely stunned in the seat.

✼ again, in the moment you’d thought it an accident that you’d ended up in such a position, but now from the victorious little smile on his face, you’re not so sure.

✼ oh well. he’d earned the kiss from caring for you as he did.

「 jaemin 」 : “destiny… ?”

✼ he’d really just wanted to reach behind you. he really hadn’t meant for this to happen, although neither of you are complaining now.

✼ all jaemin’s doing is reach for the shelf next to you, seeing a book title that catches his attention. but he seems not to have had enough leverage to actually take it off of the well-packed shelf, and he seems to lose his balance a little — just enough that he reaches his other hand to balance himself by holding onto your shoulder.

✼ instead of standing up straight away, to your surprise, he relaxes in this position.

✼ “the truth of accidents by daniel oh,” he reads aloud.

✼ you stare at him. “accidents, huh?”

✼ he’s insane for doing this, but your comment doesn’t even phase him. he releases his grasp on your upper arm and runs his hand through his hair as if this is the most normal position to end up in. normal, every day date with your boyfriend in a public space, leaning over you on a bookshelf, smirking at your reaction, giving you a time-stopping view at the details in his irises.

✼ “yep,” he says. “it’s the book’s fault.”

✼ your mouth falls into an smile as if to say “are you serious?” but you choose not to say anything. you wonder what he’ll do anything next, if anything at all.

✼ “what?” he laughs oh-so-innocently at you. “this was an accident, don’t you believe me?”

✼ “there are no accidents. you don’t need a book to tell you that.”

✼ “suppose it just did.”

✼ you both pause. what an odd moment to pause. you feel half indignant at his cool attitude and half like you’re being romanced in just the way you’d like to be romanced.

✼ “do you believe in destiny, then?” he asks, leaning just a little bit closer and stroking circles on your jaw. you love it and hate it when he teases like you like this. because why does he enjoy it so much? why does he enjoy leaving you on the edge?

✼ your lips automatically part and you answer vaguely. “sometimes.” he better kiss you soon or you’re going to hate him for the rest of the week.

✼ he slowly smiles and chuckles. “cute.”

✼ and then jaemin proceeds to take the book off the shelf and walk away.

✼ you can’t wait to get back at him for this.

「 haechan 」 : “ … you okay?”

✼ while you appreciate his efforts to protect you, he could have been a little smoother about it.

✼ the two of you are walking down the street, minding your own business, deep in conversation about the significance of rice in todays society, when your eyes widen upon sight of an ex. not just any ex, of course. that ex.

✼ haechan, being sensitive and aware of how how such a situation could bother you, takes your hand and pulls you right into a conveniently placed ally.

✼ thanks, babe, smells great back here.

✼ except, on top of that, you have to trip on something (not exactly vying to find out what) and stumble sideways. within an instant you feel an arm hook around your waist before you can fall far.

✼ luckily? unluckily? this really is quite a crowded ally. to hold both you and himself up, he has to support himself with his other hand on the wall behind you. “woah,” he says. “you okay?”

✼ he smiles at you, quirking an eyebrow.

✼ you look towards the street, seeing no sign of the ex. “yeah. i’m…” your eyes land in his again and you find that nothing you have to say has any meaning to you anymore. this is nice. actually nice, despite the suspicious ally. he’s still got a slight smile on his face, studying your face gently.

✼ “gotta watch where you step, hm?”

✼ you nod automatically.

✼ “promise?”

✼ you nod again.

✼ “you like this?”

✼ you’re nodding a third time, but then freeze and shake your head no.

✼ “i love it, too,” he says, righting you onto your own feet. “so then. back to rice.”

✼ “yes. nice.” you clear your throat. “rice.”

✼ he laughs through his nose, putting an arm around your waist from the side as you re-enter the road.

✼ “for the record,” you say after recovering your train of thought, “i tripped because you pulled me off the road.”

✼ “was it not good enough reason?”

✼ “yes, sure, you saved me from an encounter, but was the extra flair of flustering me like that really necessary?”

✼ “babe, we just talked about rice for twenty minutes, i think your definition of necessity needs some work.”

✼ there’s that mischievous smirk, he’s got you speechless once again. you’ll get back at him some day.

note ! and at last, my first nct work ! i feel like it was lacking a bit but idk, at the same time i just had a lot of fun writing these lil scenarios. only 4/6 ones i wrote actually made it to posting lmao

reblogs would mean a lot <3

nct dream missing you on tour (text ver)

it took me so embarrassingly long to post a text fic i am so so sorry, also ive been so inactive i saw the dreamies (jeno my lover) n i’ve been working my ass off to be able to see rv in june!! will try to be more active now sorry!! masterlist here <3

hihi can i req nct dream + innocent physical touch like playing with their fingers while they're watching something or like long hugs where they dont speak anything just comfortable silence and love AH IM GONG CRAZY FLUFF HOURS ALWAYS GETS ME

—｛🎂｝INNOCENT TOUCHES; W/ NCT DREAM

pairings. OT7!dream x fem!reader

wc. 566

warnings. lots of kisses , tooth rotten fluff

synopsis. cute and innocent physical touches with the dreamies

—｛🍰｝... MARK ⋮ kisses while he's playing the guitar !

you stood in the door way , watching your boyfriend play the guitar. "baby." he whined. "why are you standing there just watching?" you smiled , walking over to him , sitting on the bed. "i'm sorry , you just look so cute , playing the guitar." his ears where red , making you laugh. "i was just playing a song random song." you placed your hand on his knee , rubbing it softly. "it's beautiful." you planted a soft kiss on his lips. "another one." he whispered , you smiled kissing his soft lips again.

"i love you so much."

—｛🍰｝... RENJUN ⋮ wrapping your arms around his waist while he paints !

"hi baby." he felt your arms wrap around his waist. "you need anything?" you shook your head. "i just wanted to feel you." he hummed. "do you want to paint with me?" you declined politely , he nodded continuing on with what he was doing. after a while he put the paint brush away , turning around facing you now. "do you like it?" you nodded. "it's beautiful." you kissed his nose and he giggled , ears red.

"so are you."

—｛🍰｝... JENO ⋮ playing with his hair while he plays mobile video games !

you scrolled through tiktok while jeno played games on his phone with his head in your lap. growing bored , you turned your phone off , running your fingers through his hair , he sighed softly signaling that he liked it. , you smiled doing it again , getting the same reaction. he paused the game, lifting his head up smiling at you. you giggled , bending down kissing his waiting lips.

"i love you so much"

—｛🍰｝... HAECHAN ⋮ sitting in his lap while he plays video games !

you threw your bag on the floor of your room, sighing. "hey baby." haechan sat in his gaming chair. "what's wrong?" he noticed your sad face. "tired, i got a bad mark on this test." you took off all your clothes , putting his sweatshirt on. "i just want to hug you." you climbed into his lap , resting your head in his neck. "you want me to turn the game off?" you kisses his jaw , shaking your head. "no, its fine ." he kissed the crown of your head , getting back to his game , you slowly drifted off to sleep. "shut the fuck up , and play the game right!" haechan shushed jeno , kissing your sleeping head.

"be quiet, my baby had a bad day and she's sleeping right now."

—｛🍰｝... JAEMIN ⋮ holding hands while watching a film !

jaemin watched you, with your head in his lap, laughing at the movie, in front of you with the biggest smile on his face. he grabbed your hand playing with your fingers separated them, playing with your freshly painted nails. you looked up at him with a smile, lacing your fingers together , turning back to watch the movie. he placed little kisses on your knuckles , then leaning to kiss your forehead.

"love you"

—｛🍰｝... CHENLE ⋮ cuddling in the morning !

your eyes fluttered open as you felt chenle leaving little kisses against your neck, you tried to be quiet but you just couldn't help but giggle. "i knew you were up." he whispered kissing you again, and you turned around facing him , he pulled you close to him , if that was even possible , your head on his chest. you both quietly traced circles on each others arm , he bent down to kiss your cheek.

"i want to stay like this all day."

—｛🍰｝... JISUNG ⋮ long hugs after a bad day !

you were cleaning up the kitchen when the door opened. you turned around , frowning as your boyfriend walked in , head low as he took his shoes off. you could tell he had a bad day as he looked to you with sad sleepy eyes. you put the last dish away , walking over to him , letting his tall frame crash into yours. you listen to his heartbeat as you both stood their in silence. he tried to speak , but you stopped him, whispering.

"you dont have to say anything , i got you."

©️LUVYENI

hii! ive been reading your work for quite a long time now, and its my first time requesting hehe~

anyways haha- i was wondering if you could write texts for nct mark? where they arent dating yet and both are idols?

mark has a crush on reader and was a fan of her before he debuted (reader is marks sunbae lol), so the reader is like marks inspiration?

i hope that made sense and ily ur my fav writer!! like fr

friends to lovers texts with, mark lee. (idolxidol)

this is so so cute omg i hope i did it justice :,) and thank you so so much for the kind words i’m cryinf ily i cant believe people on here actually care abt the nonsense i come out with !!!! i feel like this is bad so SORRY :( masterlist here!

𓏸𓂃boyfriend things╰𓏸 where/when he knows he loves you

◞✧𓏯 ⸝⸝⸝ in that yearning state 💌 for my fellow nct, bts, svt enthusiasts ⊹◞✿

♡the house party he didn’t want to go to, and you touch his waist like it was made for you. your purple nail polish is becoming his favorite color, and you have no idea what you’re doing to him. you’re not even trying... then there’s the way you hold his bottle of beer, taking a swig and licking your lips before handing it back

♡the first dinner you share with his family. your hand finds his thigh without thinking because you’re used to it, seeking his warmth against your palm: a little connection. his sister sees and smiles at him. his head dips, cheeks blooming

♡your bedroom before a date when you’re finishing getting ready. your hand finds his shoulder as you adjust the straps of your heels. notes he missed in your perfume become crystal clear

♡walking home from the grocery store at golden hour. he’s trying to take your picture but you cover your face with the loaf of rosemary bread, so he switches to video and records your laughter

♡your favorite movie is playing. your head is in his lap, and you’re watching him instead of the screen because he has to like it. he can’t not like it. you swear it’s you… fragmented throughout scenes. you’ve never been the same since that first watch all those years ago. “kiss me if you like it so far”

♡bedtime. the first bedtime together. you ask him which side he prefers, while braiding your hair. your hands flexing. gold rings catching the lamp’s glow. he sees the veins in your arms and mumbles through an answer, not caring either way

♡your car in the rain. he’s driving because the weather changed and you’re anxious to get home, so you play your favorite song and sing every word with your eyes closed

♡you’re walking to the door of your building and stop halfway up the stairs. you ask him to come up, to stay. he says he can’t… has an obnoxiously early schedule and hates the idea of disturbing your sleep. so you turn around and make it to the door this time. but then you run back. the breeze lifts your hair, flutters your skirt. your hand meets his neck, fingertips cool. you’re on your tippy toes, and you kiss him “dream of me”

[10:08 PM] You're not sure what possesses you as you leave Chenle's house, but the damage is already done as you see your best friend's shock at the way your lips meet his cheek in a shy kiss. You want a hole to suck you in since clearly, your best friend doesn't reciprocate your romantic feelings, but as you try to leave, Chenle suddenly grabs your wrist. His eyes tell it all. "If you're gonna kiss me, do it the right way." He leans in to leave an intense, hungry kiss on your lips, and the rest is history.

-[ nct dream: late-night headcanons

P: ot7 dream x gender neutral reader | G: fluff, headcanons | Inc: laughter, playing the guitar, cuddles, taking pictures, art, playing games with them, making ramen, coffee shop runs, Daegal, late-night ice cream bc I said so, I'm in love with boys can you tell??, star-gazing, learning Chinese with Renjun | Wc: 681 | W: food/drink | R: G

Minnie's Notes: Here you go my lovely @renjuns-grillfreind <3

Mark Lee | 이민형

Late nights with Mark are full of laughter and deep conversations about everything and nothing all at once. Eyes shut as you listen to him cover your favourite songs and embarrassed smiles while he teaches you how to play the guitar. Listening to the curated playlist he made for you while you lay together and watch the ceiling. Sneaking pictures of him without makeup, refusing to delete it because he looks pretty like that and pointing out every little feature you like about it. Hint; it’s everything.

Huang Renjun | 런줜

Twilight hours spent getting lost in various art projects together, watching over Jun’s shoulder as he finishes another one of his pieces. Deep conversations about the future and your goals; he promises to support you as much as humanly possible. Staying up over the phone for little Chinese language lessons while you both fight the urge to sleep. Tracing constellations in the night sky in the park with nothing else but coffee, blankets and all the time in the world. Late-night photoshoots against alleyways, laughing at how bad the picture came out while taking the best ones as shared wallpapers.

Lee Jeno | 이제노

Late nights spent looking at new desk setups and decorations for your shared gaming spaces. Laughing at Hyuck’s incessant yelling down the mics when you ‘accidentally’ let yourself get killed in-game to spend more time with Jeno away from the screen. Content smiles when he wraps his arms around you from behind while you’re making hot chocolates, his head buried in the crook of your neck. Constant discussions over adopting a puppy and all the aesthetic things the pair of you could do as pup-parents.

Lee Donghyuck | 이동혁

Staying up watching as he plays round after round with the others, chuckling as he shouts obscenities over his headphones. Filming Hyuck to use as ‘blackmail’ material in the group chat later on. Popping open a can for the pair of you when he finally finishes playing, the clock hits two am easily. Throwing a pillow in his face when he suggests something absolutely insane and laughing at his over-the-top offended face. Pretending to film that reality show he keeps talking about whenever he starts going off on one of his tangents. Sharing snacks while you bicker over what to watch and watching the same show for the nth time.

Na Jaemin | 나재민

Late night coffee runs where you gawk at the sheer amount of extra espresso shots he adds to his drink order. Running after him as he pulls you to the next 24/7 café he finds. Listening to him ramble about his day while you watch with an endeared smile because how does he still have all this energy? Waking up at unholy times because Jaemin’s calling you over to bake muffins with him. Enjoying your freshly made midnight snacks with a drama marathon wrapped under blankets.

Zhong Chenle | 천러

Falling asleep against his shoulder three dramas into your tv marathon, his hands gently laced through your hair. Playing with Daegal and struggling not to wake up the entire neighbourhood with your shared laughter, the small dog just too cute. Wandering the convenience store looking for the best midnight snack before settling on buying an entire bag full because no one could come up with a clear answer. Nibbling on the bag of snacks on the way home while ranting about each other’s day and making fun of his hyungs – with good intentions.

Park Jisung | 박지성

Waking up to Jisung pleading you to join him on one of his late-night craving-induced trips to the store to get ice creams. Laughing about your brain freezes while trying to down the frozen treats. Watching (read; supervising) him make ramen and applauding when he manages to not burn the kitchen down; his hyungs aren’t exactly keen on waking up to the smell of a burnt kitchen and a panicking Park Jisung. Eating said ramen by the balcony and watching the rain hit the ground outside. Counting as many graveyard shift workers making their way across the street and wondering what their day looks like. Laying in each other’s lap and relaxing while you play with each other’s hair.

© copyright work of armysantiny 2022-2023

Networks: @kwritersworld, @kdiarynet, @ultkpopnetwork, @whipped-kpop-creators, @prism-nw, @k-library, @knet-bakery, @kpclub,@dreamwritersnet, @nct-writers, @neoturtles, @nctcreations, @nct-frathouse, @aandmlibrary

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Consider reblogging, leaving some feedback or donating to my kofi!

Taglist: @teeztheflag, @jeonqquk, @mikailo666, @babyboobean, @taem-min, @iiindigocheesecake, @xavi-in-kpopland | Taglist form

Cuddling with the Dreamies

pairing: bf! nct dream x gn! reader

genre: fluff

summary: headcanons about how cuddling with the dreamies as your boyfriend goes down!!

wc: 400+

author’s notes: here’s my first nct dream post!! i can’t guarantee that there will be frequent posts for them but i will try!!

Lee Mark - 이마크

Reading a book together while cuddling in bed

With such a busy schedule, Mark loves spending time with his significant other whenever he can get it. He especially loves to spend that time with a purpose - reading a book together. The pair of you made a promise to always read a chapter or two whenever you were together, you were never allowed to read ahead.

Huang Renjun - 黄仁俊

Cuddling by a warm fireplace with some wine and good conversation

Renjun can be very sophisticated and would especially be with a mature significant other, therefore he loves cuddling with his signifcant other in front of the fireplace and tasting different wines and just maintaining small talk.

Lee Jeno - 이제노

Taking a walk together while holding hands and cuddling

Jeno loves being active and spending time together exploring different nature trails. He always drags his s/o to join him on these trails, and even if you don’t agree and start to strop about this. Jeno will make it up however by holding your hand whilst walking or wrapping his arm around the top of your shoulders and walk along the trail that way.

Lee Donghyuck - 이동혁

Watching your favourite TV show or movie series while cuddling on the couch

Haechan prefers to stay indoors with his significant other, especially just cuddling with you. One day the pair of you were watching netflix when you decided to watch a series together, you chose to watch boys over flowers, a series with a large number of episodes, and spent the rest of the weekend binging and eating snacks.

Na Jaemin - 나재민

Taking a nap together while cuddling in bed

Jaemin’s favourite things to do are nap and cuddle with his significant other. Any time off that Jaemin could get, particularly after a busy schedule, the pair of you would spend all the time possible cuddled up together in his bed.

Zhong Chenle - 钟辰乐

Taking a bubble bath together and cuddling in the tub

Chenle is very romantic with his significant other, preferring to spend time with his lover. The pair of you would take a bath (in your swimming costumes) just relaxing in the tub surrounded by scented candles and cuddling in the tub for hours on end.

Park Jisung - 박지성

Having a cozy indoor picnic with your favorite snacks and cuddling

Jisung prefers his love life to stay private, in fear of the other boys teasing. Therefore, he prefers to have cozy little picnics indoors - especially in his room. He loves having his significant others head in his lap, and playing with their hair!

requests: open!!

permanent taglist (open!!): @bambisgirl @enhacolor @acaiasahi @jakekgs @duolingofanaccount @jenosz

be here with me || ml

Pairing: Mark Lee x fem!reader

Synopsis:

And I keep saying okay (Okay) I never listen to my own heart I do whatever they say (They say) While looking like you're happy as hell (Oh, I) I really hope that you feel the same (Oh, I) Tonight

– 7PM, BooSeokSoon ft. Peder Elias

Alternatively: a series of events in one night that made Mark and you realize maybe you loved you each other more than a cherished childhood best friend.

Genre: Fluff with a good smattering of angst (DA NILE IS A RIVER IN EGYPT), crack, BFF-2-???, inspired by BBS's 7PM, clumsy heir!Mark, heir-to-normie!reader, struggling grad student!reader, secretary!Doyoung

Warnings: Profanity, mentions of food and alcohol, brief mentions of underage drinking, themes of social inequities, unhappy ending (kinda? up to reader interpretation), reader has long enough hair to be put in a bun

WC: ~8.9k

Taglist: @niinjo @dropsofletters @matchahyuck

A/N: A special thank you to @wooahaes for beta reading and keeping me company as I wrote my first Mark fic! 💙 In the words of Mark Lee, "This one's for you!" (and hopefully, he doesn't miss again 😭😂🏀🧺)

the playlist: anywhere but home (seulgi) >> 7pm (bss) >> sure thing (miguel) >> believe (paul blanco ft. crush) >> fallin' all in you (shawn mendes) >> with you (jimin and ha sungwoon) >> raise y_our glass (yunjin) >> abyss (woodz) >> cough (onew)

Winter was Mark’s least favorite season. 

Winter meant shorter days. The sun barely peaked over the city skyline when he arrived at the office. Despite all the windows letting natural light into the building (his father’s insistence on creating an eco-friendly company), he hardly looked outside, busy tapping away on his desktop, eyes trained on screens with bland PowerPoints, or scrawling his signature on the umpteenth document with words that started to blend and blur together into streaks of black ink. When he left with his trusted secretary, Kim Doyoung, the glass building a seemingly lonely and empty ghost of the busy life it held during the day, the dark night sky with a heavy gray haze had swallowed the sun and he was greeted by with what he’d like to think were stars (they were just blinking airplanes and signal towers in the distance he’d come to learn as he got older). Seldom did he leave before his hundreds of employees and catch the last few rays of sun. 

Winter meant the cold weather. His polyester suit sets already felt heavy on his thin frame. To have another layer and all the accessories that came with it was cumbersome. He had to watch how he turned his body so his wool coat wouldn’t accidentally take out a cup of coffee sitting on the table. He made a point to tuck his scarves into his chest, so the ends wouldn’t catch on the spinning doors of the entrance. He had an image to upkeep, which meant beanies that kept his head warm were not allowed for work attire. The tips of his ears would grow numb on the coldest days, just stepping out of his private car into the office. He felt bad for making Doyoung carry his leather shoes so he could change out of his snow boots while he was in the office.

There was one thing to look forward to in the winter though. 

(Autumn, really.)

With winter, also came you: his childhood best friend. 

Every year since the two of you were in high school, you’d spend your summers in Busan with your grandmother, helping her with her strawberry farm. In the fall, you’d return to the city for school, which also meant, Mark got to see you – when you weren’t busy with homework and your various part-time jobs, and him with his duties at his family’s company, that is. 

Peering out his back tinted window of his black Genesis, his eyes skimmed across the other vehicles and their drivers sluggishly passing by. He wasn’t sure why, but traffic seemed to be stalling later than usual today. Most nights, Doyoung seemed to whiz down the highway without a problem. 

A tired mother and her rambunctious daughter shouting and kicking in the carseat in the back. A taxi driver and a lonesome young boy sleeping on his seatbelt. An elderly woman with a fuzzy bucket hat pulled down over her eyes sitting in the front of the bus right behind the driver.

Despite the titles behind his name and the way his father’s business partners and employees praised and pampered him, Mark liked to think he wasn’t so different from all these people he was passing by on the drive. Life had its bright spots, but today was one of those seemingly dreary ones for everyone, glum and tired expressions painting their faces. It matched the dark, heavy gray clouds that loomed over the city. 

Tugging at the knot of his tie loose, Mark shook his head and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to shake the fatigue off his eyes. He slumped forward, pressing his forehead into the cool glass, hoping the cold would jolt him awake like after a couple sips of an iced Americano and the caffeine started coursing through his veins. A patch of fog formed from his breath and Mark raised his hand to trace a childish smiley face in it. For no good reason other than it brought him the smallest amount of joy, his expression mirrored the doodle as he smiled lazily at it.

Sometimes, it felt satisfactory to just let things be and exist. 

“We’ll arrive at the convenience store in about ten minutes, sir,” Doyoung announced from the front. 

“We’re off duty,” Mark caught his secretary’s watchful eye in the rearview mirror, “I told you could just call me by my name when we’re not in office.”

Mark peered outside again, quietly counting the cars he passed like the seconds until he reached you. 

“Right . . . Mark,” Doyoung huffed. “Sorry, force of habit." He cleared his throat, eyes flickering from the road back to his boss again. "Uh, but um . . .” his voice trailing off, blending with the car horns going off in the distance. 

Mark knew he had more to say than announcing the ETA. He always did on nights like this – it was like clockwork at this point. 

The older man glanced in the mirror again. He cleared his throat and asked, “Does your father know yet?”

Mark didn’t bother to look back up at him. 

“No,” Mark replied curtly. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing well that a mini-lecture was coming. As great as Doyoung has been as a secretary, older brother figure, and a companion these past few years, he was a stickler for rules, structure, and tradition – something the two didn’t always see eye-to-eye on.

Doyoung sighed, shaking his head slightly. “You do know you know this . . . arrangement between you and Miss Y/L/N is only going to hurt you in the long-run, right? Your father –”

“‘Would be very upset with you associating yourself with anyone with ties to the fallen CEO of Choi Electronics, especially the former heiress, herself,’” Mark cut him off, quoting his secretary. It was not anything new – Mark knew this lecture like the Queen Mab monologue from Romeo and Juliet he was forced to memorize in high school: boring and long, but dramatic when it came from other people. 

He continued, “‘It’s not good for your reputation if this gets out you’re still seeing her’ – I know,” he looked up at the rearview mirror again, a bored look in his eyes. “I know, but I can’t just . . . let her go like that. Not yet, at least; she’s . . . been my best friend since forever.”

“Mark,” Doyoung warned, though there was a hint of sympathy in his tone. Doyoung has been around long enough to know how fond the young heir was of you. Being one of the few children in the elite corporate world, the two of you were quick to befriend one another, becoming attached at the hip before anyone could blink. Despite the way your friendship waxed and waned as the two of you grew older, at the end of the day, you’d always find one another, some way, somehow.

The fall of your family name a few years ago didn’t seem to break that habit.  

Doyoung knew, none of it was your fault. You didn’t deserve any of the misfortune that you had faced and were coming your way when you finished graduate school. You were merely a collateral piece of a larger, cruel game. 

“It’s not my intention to guilt trip you, but do keep in mind, this is . . . much bigger than just you,” Doyoung sucked in a shaky breath. “If this goes downhill, she might get hurt – a lot more than you.”

Though Mark didn’t reply, the way his eyes dropped to his limp hands in his lap was enough to give Doyoung the slightest ember of hope that deep down, Mark knew. On the surface innocent meet up between friends, but the weight of the situation felt like a firework lit aflame, the wick starting to burnout towards the blunt and explode. 

The facts were plain ans simple: the two of you were childhood best friend.

However, the media had a way of twisting facts into truths for the public.

If he was being honest, it was guilt, and perhaps justice, that gave Doyoung the will to bring Mark to meet you at least once per week. As much as his father pushed it and as much as he tried to hide it, Mark had never quite settled into his role as the future CEO of NCity, Inc. If Doyoung could characterize Mark, he was like a mural on the side of buildings in Hongdae: hidden, yet loud, colorful, and bright. He was clumsy and bluntly outspoken, speaking his mind and curiosities at the wrong times though with good intentions. This predestined career path forced him into a plain and gray box that veiled the majority of his personality. He grew hesitant of his words and thought twice before acting. Every now and then, you’d see flecks of his quirkiness that charmed the company staff and board of executives, but that was all that was allowed. 

As fond as Mark was of you, Doyoung was just as fond of Mark, but in the sense of a younger sibling. Though he rooted for Mark’s success as the future CEO, there was a piece of him who also wanted the young man to be happy. From Doyoung’s perspective, happiness always seemed to stem from you. If he could give Mark just that much, Doyoung would risk breaking the rules. 

The neon green, red, and white sign of the convenience store you worked at spilled into the interior as the vehicle neared. To a bystander, the black Genesis felt out of place in this neighborhood. The buildings were short and small, but cramped against one another. Small alleys offered uneven stone paths to travel between them. The concrete was cracked, the decade old coat of paint was chipped nearly bare. Dogs howled in the distance and a few construction workers, their cheeks stained with dust and soot, were seated outside the convenience store on the picnic tables enjoying ramen from white plastic cups and cheap soju, slurping at the noodles and moaning in satisfaction like it was a five-course dinner. 

Doyoung parked the car at his usual spot: on the side of the hill leading up to the store, where Mark could see you, but you could just barely see the head of the car. Mark’s face visibly lit up as craned his neck to catch you smiling and handing change over to a middle-aged woman. He wondered if the woman was a regular customer who you were friendly with, based on the way you laughed at something she said and excitedly waved ‘good-bye.’ Loose strands of hair fell out of your bun as you bowed, your expression gradually falling to a calm when the women left and you returned to organizing chocolate bars at the side counter. 

[Mark]: Dark or milk chocolate?

[Mark]: Grab one for me if it’s milk chocolate – employee discount pls :P 

He peered out the window, watching your reaction. 

Your phone buzzed, halting you in your task to fish it out of your back pocket to swipe at the screen and read the message. There was a moment of surprise that flashed across your face, quickly followed by a soft smile. You spun around, shielding your eyes and squinting out into the dark to try and make out his car. 

You must’ve seen the black Genesis – your smile only grew as you turned back to your phone, tapping away at your screen. 

“She’s coming,” Mark confirmed aloud.  

Mark unbuckled his seat belt and fumbled with the loose knot around his neck. He hastily pulled off his tie and haphazardly threw it onto another seat and pulled on his trench coat. Folding the collar down and patting away any wrinkles, he quickly turned to Doyoung. The young man excitedly slapped the driver’s seat twice as if the older man already didn’t have his attention.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, bro! You can go home – I’ll get back on my own,” Mark explained. 

“Mark–”

“Don’t wait up!” he waved Doyoung off, clambering out of the car. 

You were already walking down the steps. Your faded yellow vest was traded in for your black puffer jacket. A white plastic ‘THANK YOU’ bag hung on your forearm, presumably containing the chocolate bar Mark asked for, amidst other snacks you got for free from time to time. You were trying your best to keep cool, but Doyoung could tell you were beaming. There was an extra pep in your stride and your lips were pressed into a tight line, but it looked funny because you were trying to suppress a grin. 

“You’re here,” you greeted him. You stopped a landing above Mark, clasping your hands together in front of you. You rocked on your heels, your composure slipping, letting the corner of your lip quirk up at the way he looked at you. His dark orbs were wide, reflecting the LED lights of the convenience store behind you. Unlike you, he didn’t try to hide his excitement, a grin spreading across his face.

“I’m here!” Mark sang. Immediately, his arms flew open, welcoming you for a hug. 

You rolled your eyes, but continued to descend towards him, settling to his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. The plastic of the convenience store bag crinkled and crackled between the two of you. Your cheeks already hurt from smiling so much. Though you saw each other frequently enough (though at strange hours), Mark was always a breath of fresh air in your routine; the warmth of the fire on a cold winter day.

“God, I missed you,” he muttered, his voice muffled. 

“It’s only been a week,” you retorted.

“Still too long.”

Just as you scoffed, the honk of the car behind Mark tore your attention from one another. You turned to see that Doyoung had rolled down the window giving you both stern, knowing looks. 

Doyoung was more than happy to arrange for the two of you to see each other at these hours, but he had two rules: (1) Don’t draw attention to yourselves and (2) stay safe. 

“Be careful,” Doyoung warned. He turned to Mark, “Let me know when you get back, okay?”

Mark nodded and shooed him off. 

“Why are you sending him away?” you exclaimed, peering over his shoulder as Doyoung drove away. “No Doyoung today?” 

Sometimes the older man joined the both of you – as a good friend rather than a secretary. You all grew up together after all. 

“Just you and me,” Mark sighed, letting you go. “We have a flight and long day tomorrow – he wants to prep.”

“Flight?” you frowned. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Milan,” he replied, “New business partners – dad wants to establish a holding in Europe.”

“Mark, you should’ve told me.”

“I want to be here,” he remarked. “I’ll be fine! Let’s just . . . enjoy the night. “You and me – quality alone time. It’ll be fun. I need it.”

“Ew,” you wrinkled your nose jokingly, “Don’t say it like that – you sound greasy.”

“But I do!” he scoffed. Hands stuffed in his coat pockets, he bumped your shoulder playfully. “I need it, it’s been a long week.”

“Company drama?”

He kicked at the invisible pebbles along the pavement and nodded. “It feels like a whole k-drama sometimes. He said this, she said that, you should go on this blind date."

You ignored the way your heart ached for him. As glamorous as it seemed on the surface, what lied underneath was complicated and overwhelming – it was like a knot unwilling to untie itself. With a heavy sigh, you nodded and turned to link arms with him. You led him down the street. Mark’s footing faltered at first, but was quick to fall in sync with your own. 

“You know what tea is best served with?” you asked, staring up at the sky.

“Um,” Mark furrowed his brows together in confusion. “Honey biscuits?”

You jokingly shot him a disapproving look at his answer. 

“Mrs. Jung’s spicy noodles.”

. . . .

The walls were thin – quite literally. 

Only a faded blue tarp with an opening that flapped in the winter breeze defended the customers from the cold. Round metal tables were scattered inside, customers were scattered, seated on multi-colored plastic stools, sniffling and slurping on steaming bowls of noodles. There were no barriers between the kitchen and the seating area. A grill sizzling with meat and pots boiling on a fire stove greeted visitors. Spice and the smell of smoke wafted freely over the stainless steel edges, settling in the crevices of people’s coats and sweaters. The scrape of metal tools against one another clanged loudly and thwarted conversations, forcing people to shout to hear each other. Every now and then, Mark would bend over the table and ask loudly, “What was that again?!”

Mrs. Jung’s noodle shop was a street restaurant Mark and you stumbled upon in high school. You both were coming home from your first day of cram school – the “elite” one your mothers had tittered about just weeks before. It was in a part of the city neither of you were particularly familiar with and putting full faith in your navigation skills, Mark willingly followed you off three stops too early from home. Eventually, Mark ended up reaching out for his mother’s driver to rescue the two of you, but while waiting, you both grew hungry waiting and wandering around. Unfortunately, you only had 1248 won worth of money pooled together from the depths of your pockets – couldn’t even afford triangle kimbap at the 7/11 nearby. 

Taking pity on the two of you, Mrs. Jung offered the both of you dinner on-the-house – apparently, you reminded her of her daughter who had left for university a few months ago. Since then, Mark and you made a point to visit at least once a month (with adequate funds, of course). You were especially regular customers during the depths of finals season, when you clung onto your last brain cells and hardly had the time or energy to cook. 

Despite the less than luxurious conditions he was accustomed to, Mark liked dining here most. He felt at ease, like no one was watching. It was just him and his best friend, enjoying a simple meal under the stars (or so he’d like to imagine there were in this hazy city). It didn’t matter if he had sauce on his face. He could slouch, snort at a stupid joke, and slap his knee when someone said something funny. 

“So,” you started as you leaned over, placing the last slice of beef in his bowl, “How was the blind date?”

Mark stopped mid-chew and peered up at you, harshly swallowing down the wad of rice in his mouth. 

You sat back and waited attentively. 

“Blind date?” he asked slowly as if he didn’t know what you were asking. 

You nodded. “The one with the heiress of Jung Cosmetics – He . . . Hera? I think was her name? Her parents named her after the Greek goddess.”

“Ah, right,” Mark sniffled, returning to his food. He wondered why you were suddenly interested about it. “Hera – it was fine.”

“Did you like her?”

Mark paused mid-bite and glanced at you again. “She was fine.”

“Fine as in ‘she’s so fine’ or like fine as in she’s ‘meh’?”

“She was alright,” Mark explained, shoving the soft noodles in his mouth. “Didn’t like her, but didn’t hate her.”

“So . . . you wouldn’t marry her?” you asked. 

He looked at you strangely, but answered you nonetheless. “No – I don’t think so.”

He faked a cough, hoping to change the subject, but he wasn’t sure what. 

 "So . . . uuuhhh," he wiggled his shoulders back and forth, eyes trained on a Sharpie stain on the table, refusing to look at you. "How about you? Meet any boys yet?”

Immediately, you scoffed and scowled at him. 

Mark peered up at you playfully, dipping his spoon in his broth. “What?”

“Mark Lee.”

He raised a hand in surrender. “Hey, innocent question – you asked me, so I ask you. Plus, you’re cute, people are looking,” he shrugged, “And it’s university – according to Jeno, that’s like . . . the hot soup recipe for dating and all, ya know?”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at his stupid analogy, pretending as if your heart didn’t skip a beat at his unintentional compliment. This wasn’t the first time and if anything, it was a term of endearment.

“Hot like this soup!” Mark exclaimed. “Well, was – it’s kind of lukewarm now.”

"You know I don't have time for dating, Mark," you grumbled.

Despite what he just told you, he blew at the broth on his spoon as if it was scalding hot and inhaled the liquid. 

Within seconds, his eyes widened in horror as something caught in the wrong pipe. His lips pursed momentarily as he tried to keep his mouth shut to swallow whatever was left and prevent himself from spraying you. Mark finally started coughing up a fit, pounding at his chest. He turned away from you, covering his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh my god, you idiot – are you okay?” you asked. 

“Hot!” he repeated in between coughs. 

“About to be on your deathbed and you’re still on about that stupid joke,” you grumbled. Though you sounded upset, the way you adjusted yourself to hover over him suggested different. 

“No!” Mark waved. “The broth was hot!”

“You said it was lukewarm?”

“Hot! Spicy! I choked on a pepper flake or something!” he stuck out his tongue and fanned it. 

“Oh,” you settled back down in your seat. 

You paused momentarily before the pieces clicked. You reached into your plastic bag, pulling out a short bottle of banana milk and handing it over to him. 

“Here,” you pressed the drink into his hand. 

He peered down at it curiously then back to you. “You sure?”

“Of course,” you chirped. 

“It’s yours though.”

“I have more,” you fibbed. You split a pack of three with your coworkers earlier, each person getting one. You made a point to pull off the straw wrapped in clear plastic and puncture the top. “Drink,” you pushed it towards him. “It’ll help with the spice.”

Mark finally complied, taking a long sip. He let out a small sigh of satisfaction when he pulled his lips off with a pop. His eyes flickered from the drink to you. 

“What?” you asked bluntly. 

He giggled to himself like a drunk, shaking his head. “It’s been forever since I’ve had banana milk, you know?”

“When was the last time you had some?” you asked. 

“High school,” he reminisced, “When Chenle bought all that alcohol and snuck it into our hotel rooms on the school trip? I woke up hungover and you gave me one saying it’d cure it.”

Your eyes widened in horror at the memory, causing Mark to laugh even harder.

"I . . . lied about that," you told him, monotonously.

"No shit," he took another sip, "But I believed you and still drank a full eight pack."

"It's all I could afford from the 7/11!" you defended yourself.

"Lying about this helping with spice now too?" he ignored your comment.

"I'm a little more skilled in the art of drinking and hangovers now that I'm older, thank you," you turned your face back down to your noodles to ignore him.

Mark snickered, relishing in the memory. Even though he felt like shit and probably a whole lot of work for you taking care of him, it was a pleasurable moment for Mark – a time when things were simpler and not much mattered. 

Simple. 

Like now. 

These were small bits of his life he liked to keep close to his heart. 

First hangovers, banana milk overdoses, and all. 

. . . .

“I got this for you, by the way.”

Mark waved a small black gift box tied with a pink bow in front of your face as the two of you were exiting Mrs. Jung’s noodle shop. You stopped abruptly in your tracks, rapidly blinking at the item in your line of vision. 

You wondered why you hadn’t noticed it before. It was simple, but the pink bow was hard to miss. Was he holding it all along? It was no bigger than his hand – you figured he might have put it in the pockets inside his coat, which is why you didn’t see it. 

Your eyes flickered to him, though not with the excited expression he was hoping for. Contrary to his own bashful yet teasing and excited smile, your brows were furrowed together, a small frown tugging at the corner of your lips. 

Eyes beaming, Mark shook the box gently – just enough to hear a quiet rattle inside the box. 

“Mark, what did I say about gifts?” you sighed, pushing his hand down. 

“Y/N,” he dragged on the last syllable of your name, “C’mon – please!”

“I thought we agreed ‘no gifts’ – unless it was the holiday or our birthdays?” you reminded him. 

Mark was quick to press the box into your hands, wrapping his own around yours as to secure it and not let it fall to the ground. Your breath hitched a little at sudden touch and the warmth that encased your hands. You hadn’t expected him to be so . . . “aggressive” about this. 

“I wanted to – for you,” Mark insisted. 

You frowned, unconvinced. 

Mark knew you didn’t like gifts – especially from him after your father lost his position at the company. He couldn’t completely understand it, but he knew enough that it lied within a feeling of guilt and discomfort. You didn’t want to feel like some charity project. On that same note, you didn’t want to be a burden to your childhood friend. After all, it was partially his father’s doing for what happened to your family. 

The milieu surrounding your friendship of over twenty years was not the most ideal – not that it was either of your faults. A part of you always wondered if he still only hung around because he pitied you. You felt bad for even having such a thought – Mark had been so kind and understanding of you all these years. However, you couldn’t help, but question it when most have abandoned you. You didn’t dare push him away for you held onto the small sliver of hope that maybe he wasn’t like that. 

To lose him was a reality you didn’t want to know. . 

“Take it,” Mark pushed the gift closer to your chest. He took a step back. “If not for you,” he pointed to himself, “For me.”

Though you only answered with a heavy sigh, the reluctance evident in the way your shoulders slumped and your arms fell to your side, you took it nonetheless. You flipped it over in your hand, studying it with your eyes and examining it with your finger pads, grazing across the smooth velvet material of the box.  

“Open it,” Mark urged. 

You looked up at him again, feeling nervous.

He only nodded at you, gesturing with his hand for you to do so. He wanted to see your reaction. 

You caved – never had you seen someone so excited to see another person open a gift before. Gently, you started pulling at the pink ribbon, the satin cool and smooth under the pads of your fingers. With ease, it slipped off – its once pretty and neat form now collapsed into a lifeless thread. Pulling off the lid and pushing aside the white tissue paper, a small beige wallet with cushion-style stitches and gold painted metal clasp sat inside.

Your eyes widened in surprise, your mind immediately flashed to last week’s outing when the two of you had gone window shopping after hours when all the storefronts had grown dim and the doors were locked. 

“ That’s so ugly,” Mark giggled, his mouth half-full with red bean bungeoppang. 

“I like it,” you insisted, reluctantly turning away from the glass display, the wallet sitting on a sterile white stand surrounded by purses and backpacks of similar styles. You joined him, continuing down the sidewalk.

The streets were quiet at this time of night. Nearly silent enough that you could hear each other’s breath and the click of your shoes against the pavement. Only a few lonely souls walked the streets, phones pressed to their ear as they chatted with their loved ones, hurrying to the comfort of their own home. The street lamps lit your pathway, casting a soft orange glow across everything, your shadows were long and slanted, accompanied by that of trees. 

“It looks like something my grandma would use,” Mark tried to explain. He handed the bungeoppang over to you for a bite. The wax paper crinkled under his hold. 

“Your grandmother is a woman of good taste!” you retorted. 

“Is she?” Mark asked, thinking back to her last outfit choice at the art gala downtown. It was a bright pink business suit – she almost looked like she was a piece of artwork instead of the paintings and sculptures instead. 

He threw one last look over his shoulder. Indulging in your treat, you failed to notice the way his eyes lingered a while longer, making a mental note of the store name. 

“It’s classy,” you huffed. “Simple with sophisticated detailing.”

“Whatever you say,” he muttered. 

Roughly, you handed the treat over to him, nearly wacking him in his chest. Unfortunately, Mark wasn’t fast enough to catch it; the bungeoppang slipped out of the wax paper and splattered onto the sidewalk. 

“Dude!” you both groaned at the same time. 

“Mark–”

“Ah!” he raised a finger at you, already anticipating your protest. “I don’t wanna hear anything except ‘thank you, Mark.’”

You closed your mouth, pressing your lips together. Your hands tightened around the small wallet, suddenly feeling heavy in your hands. 

Once upon a time, goods like this were a ‘given’ to you – if you wanted it, you could have it. Not to say that you were a spoiled brat and received everything at a snap of your finger, but you didn’t have to think twice about the cost of it. It’s funny how things you once took for granted were now a privilege to even hold like this. 

“Don’t think too much about it,” Mark finally said, breaking the silence. Hands stuffed in his pants pocket, he took another step closer to you, knowing your mind was reeling with thousands of questions, your heart twisted in every which way. He wrapped his hand around yours again, giving you a firm squeeze. “It’s alright to want it . . . to have it, to be given it.”

Sometimes, you hated the way he was so generous.

Sometimes, you hated how he knew you so well – even more than yourself.  

. . . .

“Doyoung’s getting married at the end of summer.”

You stopped pumping your legs and let them drag against the pile of wood chips underneath you as you drifted backwards on your swing, skidding to a halt. The two of you stumbled upon an empty playground nearby, opting to loiter around and found yourselves on the swingset. Your bones creaked a little too much for the jungle gym and the seats of the seesaw were much too small for either of you. 

Your jaw fell slack at the sudden news – it wasn’t bad news. It was actually really good news given what you’ve heard about Doyoung’s special romantic situation throughout the last couple years in passing. Though you wished your reaction could have been happier, it was the reality of the circumstances that made your heart feel heavy. 

This was the first time you were hearing about Doyoung’s wedding. You had figured that if they already had a date set, that meant the plans were in process: invitations were made, venues were picked, wedding dresses and tuxes were tried, cakes were tasted, and seating charts had been laid out.

Yet you heard none of it. 

You wondered why Doyoung and Mark had kept this from you on purpose on the few occasions you’ve met over the past few months or so. The last you heard about him and his partner was simply that Doyoung thought she was “the one” and thinking about getting engaged. 

Perhaps they forgot to tell you about it with the new business deals and product launches Mark had talked about over dinner? 

But was the answer really that simple? It was a wedding after all – one of the biggest events in a person’s lifetime. 

You hoped they had good intentions, but the fact was you were no longer a part of their world despite your years of friendship and history together. It was as if the pluck of your dad’s name plaque at his office desk and you were suddenly a distant commoner among the crowds watching kings from aways on their pedestal. Of course, these kinds of affairs are never done without family politics. As lovely as she was, Doyoung’s mother was superficial – her only son’s wedding had to be pristine and fairytale perfect. You could only imagine the number of renowned names on the guest list, including Mark’s family.

If that was the case, you were on the blacklist.

There was a time where your parents were on the list of VIP guests – and you were dragged along. Not only weddings, but birthday parties, graduations, retirements – rich people always found a reason to celebrate. Then, Mark and you were twelve you were pesky wedding guests, trying your best to sit still for once while brides and grooms walked down the aisles, eyes wandering to the cake, your minds wondering about the dinner and the music selection for tonight. 

You always knew, but with Doyoung being the first one to go, you realized you were getting to that age of business “proposals” and marriage. Now you wondered what twelve-year-olds would be watching Mark walk down the aisle. 

When? 

And with who?

You couldn’t put a finger on why, but your heart ached a little at the thought. 

“T-that’s great,” you said softly, you looked away from Mark. “Congrats to them – really,” you choked out a half-hearted chuckle, “it was a very long time coming.”

Only the wind answered you. It nipped at the tip of your nose as if to tease you and seeped through the openings of your outerwear, sending chills down your spine. Your mind spiraling with questions that you didn’t have the answer to (or rather didn’t want to know the answer to), you failed to notice the longing and wistful expression on your companion’s face as he stared off into dimly lit streets.

“Do you ever think about us?” Mark finally blurted. 

You whipped your head towards him. “Us?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, still refusing to look at you. “Like . . . when we’re going to get married.”

When we’re going to get married.

His last few words echoed in the chambers of your mind. Of course, the practical part of you knew that he meant when you were going to get married – separately. Him with someone else and you with someone else. 

Yet for some reason, the way he said it, his tone laced with sincerity, made you want to believe he meant otherwise. 

“Y-you and me?” you asked to confirm. 

“Yeah,” he replied, drawing out the word. 

You didn’t think he was understanding your question. 

“No, no, no – as in . . . like,” you sucked in a shaky breath, “You with me?”

Finally, he tilted his head to look at you. You could hardly make out his eyes in the dim lighting, only remnants of the streetlamp slipping though the bare trees and past the jungle gym, reflecting off his face. However, perhaps it was for the better as the way his eyelids hung heavy made you nervous. It did not appear “heavy” in a sense that he was tired, but that mix of giddiness and bittersweet look of nostalgia that some people got when they were drunk. 

Mark didn’t have any alcohol tonight though. 

Could it be . . .?

He smiled cheekily, resting the side of his head on his thumb wrapped around the chain holding up the swing. 

“You? Wanna marry me?” he asked. 

“Mark,” you huffed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“If Doyoung and Emmy are enemies to lovers, we could be childhood friends to lovers,” Mark teased. He let out a heinous cackle, sounding like one of those hyenas in Lion King. 

“Mark,” you gritted your teeth. 

“I’m kidding!” he chuckled. “Geez, calm down – would it be that bad to get married to me?”

You didn’t answer him, pretending you didn’t hear his question and started pumping your legs again. 

“What kind of story trope do you think your love life is gonna be like?” he continued to muse. “I think I’m an enemies to lovers kind of guy too.”

“If that was the case, you would’ve loved Hera already,” you remarked. 

“Nah,” he shook his head, shoving his hands into his trench coat. “Didn’t hate her enough the first time.”

“Mark,” you whined, accompanied by an annoyed chortle. You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics sometimes. “Why are we talking about this?” 

“Ey,” he got up from his swing and stood a safe distance from you. You weren’t moving that fast, granting him the chance to punch you softly in the shoulder when you swung by. “I’m just pondering and trying to make conversation.”

“Let’s talk about something else?”

“Okay,” he paused. “I’m curious – who was your first love?”

“Mark Lee,” you groaned.

“I think you’re a first love kind-of-girl,” he rambled on. “I know your first kiss was Haechan – gross, by the way, but your first love. I don’t think you ever told me.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “There’s a reason why I never told you.”

His interest piqued, Mark grabbed onto the chains holding up your swing, bringing you to a halt, nearly knocking foreheads with him. For the second time that night, your breath hitched, your faces so close to one another. He was too close for comfort – too close for best friends. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes – one that you don’t think you could handle for too long, tearing your gaze to the side. Unfortunately, he was quick to adjust his position and tilt his head to maintain eye contact with you. You couldn’t help but notice the way your lips were a finger-width away apart, and if you just tilted your chin up – god, you shouldn’t even be thinking about kissing him right now.

You let your hands slide down away from his own, tightening your grip around the rusted metal, somehow, finding solace in the way the rough and uneven surface of the metal dug into your palms. You let out a shaky breath and broke eye contact with him once more. 

"H-Haechan," you replied softly. 

Silence. 

“My first love,” you cleared your throat and continued a little more confidently, “Was Haechan.”

Your answer came a beat late – enough to tell Mark that it was a lie. His lips quirked up, eyes still trained on you.

“I knew it,” he whispered, equally quiet, a hint of melancholy in his tone. 

The delicate moment was suddenly interrupted by his Super Mario ringtone, his device vibrating violently in his pocket. 

You let out a small, shaky breath and turned away – Mark noted the way your feet stuttered, pushing your swing to the left, further away from him in an attempt at courtesy of letting him take his call. 

Cursing under his breath, he fished his phone out of his pocket and swiped at the screen. 

Kim Doyoung. 

However, rather than answering it right away, he stared at the name flashing across the screen. The green ‘answer’ button and the red ‘ignore’ button pulsed with each vibration, urging him to make a choice before Doyoung hung up or was sent to voicemail. It reminded him of the Matrix when Neo had to make a choice between the red pill and the blue pill. 

Did Mark want to continue living in the reality he was born into?

Or to feign ignorance and live in the bliss you gave to him?

He knew if the older man called this late at night, nothing good would come out of it. He could come up with multiple scenarios right now: An emergency at work. Perhaps his father had found out and was furious, urging him to come home.

Or worse, the reporters and paparazzi. 

Mark chose the latter.

He swiped at the ‘ignore’ button and readjusted the volume to mute all notifications. 

Was it such a crime to crave happiness? Even if it was just for a minute? An hour? An evening?

“Let’s get out of here,” Mark said, breathlessly. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and stood up to face you, a strained smile stretching across his face. 

His footsteps stopped when he was just a few inches from you, the toes of your shoes nudging against one another. 

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” you asked. 

He shook his head, extending a hand out to you. 

“But it could be important,” you protested, your grip slipping off the chains. 

“I promised,” Mark replied, “Just you and me tonight.”

You seemed unconvinced, however. 

Mark let out a heavy breath, taking your hand in his own and gently tugged you off the swing. It didn’t take much – it’s not like you were trying to resist. 

There was that sense of guilt surging in your chest again, but you tried your best to ignore it as Mark took off in a jog. 

Though it was never said, you both knew, neither of you wanted this night to end just yet. 

. . . .

It’s funny, isn't it?

When the two of you were no more than five, reaching for his hand, and him yours, was second nature – no questions, no hesitations about it. Whether it was him seeking your comfort after being chased by Renjun on the playground or you merely trying to catch up with him after seeing him down the red carpet at yet another lavish event, your chubby fingers would interlock like two adjacent puzzle pieces snapping in place. 

It was comfortable. It was easy. It was fun. It was friendship. It was love – not romantic, but something innocent and untainted. 

Yet as the two of you grew older and you were introduced to the concept of "cooties" at the end of first grade, unknowingly he and you slowly began to unlearn the habit of linking hands when you were with each other. It started when Jaemin teased you for holding Mark’s hand during a game of hide-and-seek. This was the first moment you were quick to let go of him under the watchful eyes and mocking snickers of your classmates. As second grade started, you grew bashful and more hesitant to keep doing so. With the two of you being in separate classrooms, however, it made the process easier and neither of you questioned it. Rather than at school, you’d find yourself falling back into old habits at company dinners where the two of you were bored and ran off to play, or when his father brought him over during a meeting with your parents. 

However, these moments became less and less frequent until it was nothing. 

The rule was simple and it had finally solidified when the two of you were ten.

Boys and girls didn’t hold hands.

Therefore, neither did you and Mark. 

It was an unspoken agreement and has remained so until this day. 

It didn’t faze you when he offered a hand earlier – the adrenaline and euphoria overtaking your consciousness and your senses to think properly, you willingly took his hand and ran wherever he wanted to lead you. However, when the fleeting and short-lived emotions had passed and you had fallen from cloud nine like a rain drop from a heavy gray cloud, your nerves were starting to get the better of you. Even if it was something so normal when you were children, it’s why now, even the ghostly brush of his fingers against the back of your hand brought heat to your ears and made your throat constrict as you stood next to Mark, shoulder-to-shoulder on a train to Cheomdangdong. 

Bellies full and conversations fell quiet, but unwilling to part ways, the you both decided along the way for one last walk along the Han River. Having sent his driver home, there was no way to get to the other side of the city, except by train. Mark scanned his neon orange metro pass for the first time in months for a ride in comparison to your worn and scratched green one that you used daily. 

The evening rush hour had long passed. Your cart was fairly empty sans the elderly businessman dozing off in the corner and the few bleary-eyed high school students in crumpled navy and white uniforms with Airpods jammed in their ears, returning home from cram school. There were an abundance of seats for either of you to sit, yet Mark and you opted to stand, holding onto the worn velvet straps tied around the stainless steel poles. 

Only the rhythmic chugging of the train wheels rolling across the rusted tracks, rushed through your ears. The silence that settled between the two of you was comfortable, but the growing tension was deafening – at least to you. 

You wondered if he felt the same. 

When the train halted at the second to last stop on the line, the sterile white doors hissing open, he and you trickled out with the last few passengers into the dreary tunnel. Perhaps your steps were too wary and slow, hoping to fall in sync with Mark’s, because the elderly businessman was suddenly wide awake and hastily squeezed his way between you and the door, pushing you into your best friend. Reflexively, his arm came up to wrap around your shoulder, turning and pressing closer into his body, while the man grunted something under his breath before taking off in a speed walk down the strip. 

It didn’t quite hit you, the position the two of you were in until Mark muttered, “Geez . . . asshole. Where does he have to go this late at night anyways?”

You turned in his hold and leaned away to look at him. Your best friend scowled at the stranger’s figure fading in the distance. 

As if on cue, he peered down at you. He shifted his hands onto your shoulders, eyes scanning up and down your figure.

“You okay?” he asked, finally catching your gaze. Though it wasn’t his fault, he offered you what looked like an apologetic smile. 

It wasn’t a rough shove, but Mark figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. 

You nodded, muttering, “It’s fine.”

Letting out a small breath, you readied yourself to take off towards the stairs that led to the streets and took a step or two backwards. Mark’s hands slipped off your shoulders, one of them falling a little faster than the other, just in time to graze against one of your own, sending heat to your ears again – though you tried your best to ignore the steam that were probably coming out of your ears out of embarrassment. 

He was your childhood best friend for heaven’s sake. 

Yet this time, instead of just letting it be like on the train, Mark didn’t let the opportunity pass this time. He was quick to lurch for your swinging hand, encasing it in his own. He feigned ignorance and courage, not paying mind to the look of shock and terror that flashed across your features. He gave your hand a small squeeze, marching forward into the night, not daring to let go. 

Rather than looking forward, you continued to look at him, searching his face for any hint of anger or regret – any reason that would explain why he would suddenly hold your hand like this. 

No, it was far from scandalous. It wasn’t like he kissed you unprompted or planned on taking you home to warm his bed. 

Nonetheless, this seemingly familiar act from your childhood felt taboo and wrong. Something that once felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together, now felt like putting a spherical block through a square hole. 

He was Mark Lee of NCity, Inc and you were Y/N Y/L/N of rented, tattered textbooks and the less than quarter full tip jar at the alley convenience store. 

As hard as you looked, however, Mark’s nonchalant expression didn’t budge. Eventually, to avoid tripping on the stairs, you forced yourself to divert your eyes. 

Only then, did his lips quirk into a small, gentle smile for a split second.

For tonight, he wanted it to be simple. 

Just Mark Lee and Y/N Y/L/N. No titles, no obligations. Just childhood friends enjoying the little time that remained of the fleeting night, slipping through your fingers. 

. . . .

Water lapped gently against the shore as Mark and you walked along the Han River in blissful silence. The half-moon casted a pearl-like glow across the waters, turning it blue. You’d like to imagine the two of you looked like you were silhouettes in the distance stuck in the Starry Night Monet painting. Black shadows blending into the night – seemingly unimportant to the critical eye. 

Mark’s fingers still woven with your own, the weight and the warmth of his hold grew familiar and comfortable with each step. It was as if he were imprinting himself  in your own hand, and yours, his. You’d both catch each other’s eye every now and then, only exchanging soft smiles before continuing your way to no end. No words were exchanged, but the both of you knew, the feelings, whatever they were, were there, wrapping around the both of you and settling on your shoulders like a fleece blanket on a cold evening. Friendship, love – you weren’t sure if you could even label whatever it was between the two of you, whether it be in the past, right now . . . what would be.

Tonight, however, selfishly, you just wanted to indulge in this moment: where it was just you, him, and the Han River. There were no expectations, no roles that neither of you needed to fill. 

Though it seemed like the two of you were walking for hours, when the ring of your phone interrupted the peace, it felt like minutes cut short. 

“Don’t,” Mark warned as you halted in your steps, already reaching into your coat pocket to grab for your phone.

The device, untouched for the past hour or so, felt cool against your fingers as you looked up at him. 

“It could be important,” you muttered. “It could be my parents or my younger brother.”

“Or Doyoung,” Mark said, his lips crumpling. 

“And if it is?” you gave his hand a firm squeeze. 

“I don’t want to go back – not yet.”

You sighed, pulling out your phone nonetheless to look at the time, but inevitably also revealing the caller ID. 

1:34AM. 

Kim Doyoung. 

The call ended, but started up again within the next few seconds, Doyoung calling again. 

You glanced back up at him, a conflicted look flashing across your eyes. 

“Y/N,” he said, breathlessly though he hadn’t run. Mark knew though, at the end of the day, you were a practical person and knew your place in the world too well. The urge to rip the device out of your hand and throw it into the river itself was strong. 

“It could be . . . important,” you muttered reluctantly, finger hovering over the green ‘answer’ button. “Doyoung would never bother if it wasn’t.”

“I don’t want this night to end,” Mark blurted. “I don’t want this to end.”

But the both of you knew – with every night, came a dawn. 

You smiled sadly, breaking away from him and answered the call. 

“Y/N? Is Mark still with you?” Doyoung asked hastily. He was clearly worried. 

“He is,” you replied, trying to stay calm. 

“Send me your guys’ location right now – I’m sending a driver,” he urged. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, peering at Mark. 

Doyoung paused, letting out a huff into the receiver. “Y-You’re trending on Twitter – there are pictures and his father is furious.”

Your jaw grew slack – something both you and Doyoung feared finally manifesting itself into reality. After listening to his instructions on how to proceed, you handed the phone over to Mark as the older man needed to talk to him as well. The two argued, Mark not letting down his guard until Doyoung said something that brought about a look of devastation into the peaks and valleys of Mark’s sharp features. After a few nods and words of ‘yes,’ the younger hung up, handing you over your phone. 

Silence engulfed the two of you again, but this time out of discomfort. 

Nonetheless, Mark couldn’t quite let this night go just yet. Not caring if there were reporters around to catch this on camera, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed his lips against your forehead, letting his lips linger for a few seconds more before pulling away. 

“This isn’t over,” Mark reassured you, giving you a firm squeeze. “We’ll talk about this, hm? I’ll find my way back to you.”

But just because it felt right, doesn’t mean it was right. 

You belonged to two different worlds now; two worlds that were never intended to mesh. 

Perhaps in another life, simple nights like this could last a lifetime instead of the seemingly few hours of dark.