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yours to wreck. | part two

▹ rabbit hybrid!sunghoon x human!reader x puppyhybrid!jake wc. 36.6k

warning. contains mature themes, including explicit sexual content, plot-driven elements, and possessive behavior. sunghoon's possessive nature is a central theme, especially during intense, intimate moments. expect plenty of tension, strong language, and detailed dirty talk. fluff is sprinkled throughout, but the heat builds, and things might get complicated as emotions run high. so read carefully. mdni.

now that you and sunghoon have taken things to the next level, jake’s been feeling a little left out. as tensions rise, will sunghoon feel guilty for leaving his best friend behind, or is something else brewing between the three of you?

the morning sun filtered through the large windows, casting soft beams of light across the living room floor. jay was sitting at the kitchen island, quietly sipping his coffee, scrolling through his phone, while jungwon stretched out lazily on the couch, his tail flicking idly as he dozed. his ears would occasionally twitch at the soft sounds in the room, but he was mostly lost in his contentment. sunghoon, still in his hybrid form, was perched in the window seat, his fluffy ears twitching as he watched the birds outside. you smiled as you moved around the kitchen, quietly preparing breakfast. every now and then, you’d glance over at sunghoon, the small things like the way his nose twitched or how his ears perked up when he spotted something interesting outside bringing a quiet warmth to your chest. but then there was jake. he was sitting at your feet, his puppy hybrid form practically vibrating with energy as he looked up at you expectantly. his tail thumped against the hardwood floor, and his eyes gleamed with excitement as if waiting for you to notice him. “just a minute, jake,” you said softly, your attention half-focused on flipping the pancakes you had on the stove. you crouched down briefly to scratch behind his ears, a smile tugging at your lips when he leaned into the touch, his tail wagging even harder. but then, as you stood up to finish breakfast, you caught sight of sunghoon watching you from the window. he had hopped down from his perch and padded over to you, nudging you with his nose before wrapping himself around your legs, his bunny ears flopping lazily to one side. “hey,” you whispered, bending down to give sunghoon some attention, your fingers brushing softly over his ears. sunghoon purred softly, his head resting against your thigh as you scratched behind his ear. out of the corner of your eye, you saw jake’s tail slow, his eyes following the way you stroked sunghoon’s ears. there was a brief flicker of something—disappointment? frustration?—in his eyes before he masked it, lowering his head to rest on his paws. he wasn’t sulking exactly, but there was a clear shift. you could feel it. it wasn’t the first time you had noticed the way his excitement dulled just a little when your attention was focused on sunghoon. jungwon, ever perceptive even in his lazy form, glanced up from his spot on the couch, his cat-like eyes flicking between jake and you. his tail twitched once before he rolled over, stretching out fully on the cushions, but the subtle tension didn’t go unnoticed. “you need any help over there?” jay called from the kitchen, breaking the slight awkwardness. you shook your head, forcing a smile. “i’ve got it, but thanks.” sunghoon stayed close by your side, leaning into your touch as you absentmindedly ran your fingers through his hair. jake, in the meantime, stood up slowly, shaking out his fur before padding over to where jay was. he nudged at jay’s leg with his nose, seeking some kind of attention, and jay, without missing a beat, reached down to ruffle jake’s fur. “good boy, jake,” jay said, his voice casual but affectionate. jake wagged his tail slightly, but it was subdued compared to his usual energy. you felt a small pang of guilt. it wasn’t like you were ignoring jake on purpose—it’s just that with sunghoon being your official partner now, your attention naturally gravitated toward him. and jake, in his own playful, affectionate way, had always been part of the dynamic, but lately, it seemed like he was getting the short end of the stick. breakfast continued quietly, everyone falling into their usual roles. jungwon was content to observe, offering the occasional lazy purr from his spot on the couch. jay kept things light, chatting with you and sunghoon as you plated the pancakes. but jake… jake seemed quieter today, and though he was still wagging his tail and playing along, you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes lingered on you and sunghoon whenever you were close together.

later, as the day wore on, you all decided to head out to the park. it was a common occurrence, the five of you walking together, but as the group fell into step, jake was a little further behind today. usually, he’d be bounding ahead, trying to coax you into running or tossing a ball for him, but today? he walked at jay’s side, his usual enthusiasm muted. jay, picking up on it, scratched behind jake’s ear, his voice dropping a little lower. “what’s up with you, pup? you’ve been quiet today.” jake let out a small huff, his ears twitching slightly as he glanced ahead at you and sunghoon. but he didn’t say anything, just leaned into jay’s touch. jake seemed to hang back, his tail wagged slower, almost like he wasn’t sure where he fit anymore. and it hurts, he thought. because jake had always been there, by your side, and now it felt like he didn't exist. sunghoon’s hand brushed against yours as you walked, his touch grounding you in the moment, but your mind kept drifting back to jake. “you okay?” sunghoon asked, his voice quiet, leaning in just enough that his bunny ears brushed against your shoulder. you forced a smile, nodding. “yeah, just thinking.” but later, when you all returned home, the feeling lingered. jungwon, as usual, made himself comfortable, stretching out in the sunlit spot by the window, his eyes half-lidded in contentment. jay disappeared into the kitchen, mumbling something about getting snacks ready, while jake trotted off to his usual spot by the couch. you watched as jake settled down, his eyes flicking over to you once before he laid his head on his paws, his tail curling around him. it was a subtle gesture, but you knew him well enough to recognize it—he seemed like he was waiting for something. but all he wanted was some acknowledgment or reassurance that he was still a part of this. of you. as the evening drew on, you found yourself sitting beside him on the couch, running your fingers through his fur, scratching behind his ears in that way he loved. he leaned into you, his tail thumping softly against the cushions, but there was a heaviness in the moment that hadn’t been there before. "i haven’t forgotten you, jake," you whispered, your voice soft as you stroked his fur. he let out a small huff, his eyes half-closing in contentment, but there was still that lingering feeling—that subtle tension that told you things weren’t quite the same.

and maybe they never would be.

sunghoon stood by the front door, his bunny ears drooping, a clear grimace on his face as he sluggishly tied his shoes. jay, leaning casually against the wall with a smirk, was far too amused for sunghoon’s liking. jungwon, in his cat hybrid form, lazily stretched out near jay, his tail flicking rhythmically, as if to say, you’ll be fine. “come on, hoon,” jay teased, nudging him. “it’s just a dentist appointment. you’ll live.” sunghoon huffed, his bunny ears twitching in irritation as he reluctantly grabbed his jacket. “yeah, easy for you to say. you’re not the one getting poked in the mouth.” jungwon padded over to him, his body brushing against sunghoon’s leg, his head nudging gently as if offering comfort. sunghoon sighed, looking down at him. jungwon, of course, couldn’t talk in this form, but his gestures were enough to calm sunghoon, if only slightly. you stood by the kitchen counter, arms crossed, a teasing smile on your face. “you’ll be fine, hoon. just don’t let them give you too much laughing gas like last time.” you gave him a playful wink, earning a groan from sunghoon. “don’t remind me,” he muttered under his breath. “we’ll make sure he comes back in one piece,” jay called, already holding the door open, ready to leave. sunghoon lingered for a second longer, eyes meeting yours, as if he didn’t want to leave you alone. “i’ll be back soon,” he said softly, his bunny ears twitching with hesitation.

“you’ll be fine,” you repeated, offering a comforting smile. with one final glance, sunghoon followed jay and jungwon out, the door clicking softly behind them. the house fell into a comfortable silence, and for a moment, you reveled in the stillness.

then, you heard the soft padding of feet behind you. turning around, you saw jake standing there, his tail wagging lazily, ears perked up as he watched you. his eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and fondness, the kind of energy that always made you smile.

“finally, it’s just us,” jake seemed to say, though his hybrid form prevented him from speaking. still, his eyes and body language were expressive enough. his tail wagged a bit more, and he nudged his head against your arm, silently asking for attention. you chuckled softly, reaching out to scratch behind his ears. his tail wagged even harder, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned into your touch, clearly enjoying the affection. jake shifted and leaned against the counter, the playful grin still on his face, his body relaxed in the way only he could manage after a moment like this. his bare chest glistened faintly, and you had to force yourself to look anywhere but below the counter. no matter how many times you saw them shift, seeing them naked after always threw you off. your eyes drifted to the kitchen window, the subtle tension still hanging in the air, though much softer now. “finally got some time alone with you,” jake said, his voice teasing as he leaned in just a bit closer. “yeah, looks like it,” you replied, your tone light, though your heart was still beating faster than you liked. your hand reached out for him, stroking his head out of habit, even though he’d already shifted back to human form, you still liked to do it. “sunghoon was really dreading that appointment,” jake laughed, breaking the tension with a small joke, the warmth returning to his voice. “me? perfect teeth.” he flashed you a wide grin, showing off his canines with that boyish charm he wore so well. “no bad breath around you.” you rolled your eyes at his dramatic display, pushing him lightly on the shoulder. “yeah, yeah. perfect teeth.”

jake chuckled, but then his tone softened, his playful demeanor taking a subtle shift. “you know… you’re the reason for that.” his voice was lower now, quieter. “you take care of me.” the words hung in the air, heavier than you expected, and something in jake’s gaze lingered just a second too long, the lighthearted mood between you two faltering slightly. “well, someone’s gotta make sure you don’t ruin those perfect teeth,” you teased, trying to keep things from slipping into a territory you weren’t quite sure how to navigate. but jake’s eyes were still on yours, his usual carefree smile dimming just a bit. “i’ve always liked being around you,” jake said suddenly, his voice almost hesitant now, like he wasn’t sure if he should be saying this. you blinked, caught off guard by the shift in his tone.

“i like spending time with you too, jake,” you said softly, unsure of where this was going. you felt the warmth of the moment settle between you, and for the first time, it felt like there was something unspoken between you. something you hadn’t noticed before.

jake smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “yeah, but… lately it’s been hard. i know you’re with sunghoon now, and i’m happy for you. i am.” his voice caught slightly, like he was struggling with the words. “but sometimes it feels like i’m losing you.” the confession hit you like a punch to the gut. you hadn’t realized how much jake had been feeling this. you hadn’t meant to make him feel left out, but ever since you and sunghoon got together, jake had pulled back bit by bit. it wasn’t like it used to be, where he was constantly by your side, teasing you, messing around. “jake…” you started, but he quickly forced a grin, cutting you off before you could say anything more. “it’s fine though,” he said, his voice lighter, trying to bring the mood back. “i get it. things change.” but there was a flicker of something deeper in his gaze—something raw. “you’re still important to me,” you whispered, your voice steady but gentle.

jake smiled, but it was a little sad. “i know. it’s just… i miss when it was just us.” he glanced back toward the door, where sunghoon had gone out earlier, and you could feel the weight of what he wasn’t saying. but jake quickly cleared his throat, the tension in the room shifting again as he tried to lighten the mood. “anyway, enough of the sappy shit,” he said with a grin, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “don’t forget about me, yeah?” you let out a soft chuckle, trying to match his energy, even though the weight of the conversation still lingered. “i won’t forget about you, jake. promise.” jake’s smile softened, though there was still something lingering behind it. “yeah, okay.” he leaned in closer, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before flicking back up to meet yours. “but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when it feels like you’re slipping away.” jake’s ears twitched, and he pulled back, his playful grin returning. “but hey,” he continued, that teasing back in his voice, “you might wanna remind me to put on some pants.” you blinked, your eyes widening as you realized that jake was still standing there, completely naked from his shift. you quickly turned your gaze to the kitchen counter, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. “for fuck’s sake, jake, put on some pants!” jake burst into laughter, his usual bright energy back in full force as he jogged off to grab some clothes. “yes, ma’am!” he called over his shoulder, the sound of his laughter echoing down the hallway. and just like that, the heavy tension dissipated, leaving you standing there, alone in the kitchen, still reeling from jake’s quiet confession. jake came back into the kitchen, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, grinning like always. he gave you a playful salute, that light back in his eyes, like everything was normal between you. it was comforting—familiar. “hey,” you said softly, nudging his arm. “how about we do something, just the two of us? whatever you want.” his ears perked up slightly, but there was hesitation behind that smile. “like what?” you shrugged, trying to keep your tone casual, even though something felt off. “i don’t know, something you’d enjoy. you pick.” for a moment, jake didn’t say anything. his tail swished lazily behind him as if he was debating with himself. finally, he spoke, his voice a bit softer. “how about... we watch a movie?” you blinked, surprised by the suggestion. “a movie?”

“yeah,” jake nodded, looking down like he was embarrassed. “i mean, you and sunghoon do it all the time, right? just thought... maybe we could, too.” his words hung in the air, and you felt something twist in your chest. was that what this was about? did jake want to experience what it was like to share a moment with you like sunghoon did? the realization made you feel heavy, guilt gnawing at you. jake shifted awkwardly, sensing the silence between you two. “i mean, we don’t have to,” he added quickly, his voice lighter, trying to play it off. “it’s just... i miss doing stuff like that with you.” there it was. the truth, laid bare. you could see it now, the way he’d felt left out ever since you and sunghoon became official. the moments you all shared weren’t the same anymore, and no matter how much jake tried to act like everything was fine, it wasn’t. he had always been there, a part of your world, and now he was watching from the outside. “no, let’s do it,” you said, your voice firm but soft, trying to ease the tension. “let’s watch a movie together. just like old times.” jake’s eyes flicked back to yours, a small smile tugging at his lips, relief flooding his features. “really?” “really,” you nodded, already moving toward the couch. “you pick the movie. anything you want.” his face lit up at that, his tail wagging behind him as he followed you. it was hard not to smile at how quickly his mood shifted—like a puppy who’d been given the attention he craved. jake always wore his heart on his sleeve, and it showed now, clear as day. you settled onto the couch, jake plopping down beside you, pulling a blanket over both of you like he always did. his body was close, but not too close—just enough for you to feel his warmth. as he scrolled through the movie options, you glanced at him, wondering what was really going on inside his head. was he trying to feel what it was like to be sunghoon for just a little while? to live in his shoes for this one moment?

“this one?” jake’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you looked at the screen. it was a light-hearted comedy, one you’d watched countless times before with sunghoon. jake, of course, knew that. maybe this was his way of reliving those moments with you, even if just for a little while. “yeah, that’s perfect,” you said softly, offering him a small smile. “let’s watch that.” the movie started, and for the first few minutes, it felt normal. jake laughed at all the right moments, nudging you playfully like he always did. but as the movie went on, the air between you began to feel heavier. you noticed the way his hand rested on the couch beside you, not quite touching but close enough for you to feel his warmth. his tail, usually wagging with excitement, was still, and his ears twitched every so often, like he was trying to focus on anything but you. you didn’t want to think too much into it. jake was always affectionate, always close, and maybe you were just overanalyzing things. but there was something about the way he held himself, the way he was just... waiting. “you comfortable?” jake asked suddenly, his voice soft, almost shy as he glanced at you. you nodded, smiling at him. “yeah, i’m good.” he smiled back, but his eyes lingered on yours for just a moment longer than usual. for the rest of the movie, you tried to ignore the feeling creeping up inside you. you had sunghoon. he was your boyfriend, the one who held you close every night, whispered sweet things into your ear, made you feel safe in a way no one else could. but it was hard to ignore jake sometimes, especially now. he was this sweet, happy little ball of energy who always made things feel lighter. even now, sitting next to him, his arm wrapped around you in a way that felt a little too much like sunghoon’s, you couldn’t help but notice it. his warmth, the way he held you like he didn’t want to let go.

you tried to push the thoughts away, tried to ignore the way your body responded to his touch, the way your pulse quickened when he leaned a little too close. you shouldn’t be thinking about it. jake was your friend, and you had sunghoon. but still, you couldn’t deny the small thrill that ran down your spine when jake’s fingers brushed against your arm. while you were doing your best to stay oblivious, jake was far from calm. his heart pounded in his chest, and every time he glanced at your lips, he had to force himself to look away. you were pressed so close to him, warm and soft, and it was driving him insane. all he could think about was how much he wanted to lean in, to kiss you, to feel your lips against his. but he couldn’t. he couldn’t do that to you. to sunghoon. so instead, he held you tighter, trying to keep the moment from slipping away. trying to hold onto the little crumbs of affection you gave him, even though it wasn’t enough. every time he heard you moan through the thin walls, every time he heard sunghoon fucking you, it tore him apart. jake wanted to be the one making you feel like that. he wanted to be the one you screamed for. but he could never tell you that. not you, not sunghoon. so he stayed quiet, letting the movie play, pretending everything was fine. pretending he wasn’t falling apart inside as he held you, knowing you weren’t his. knowing he could never have you the way sunghoon did. as the credits rolled, you stretched beside him, giving him a soft smile that only made the knot in his stomach tighten. “that was fun,” you said, your voice light, like you hadn’t just been sitting in the middle of his internal storm. “yeah,” jake replied, his voice tight, forced. it was hard to hide how he felt, but he had to. you couldn’t know. you shouldn’t know. not yet. you stood up, heading toward the kitchen to grab a drink, and jake leaned back against the couch, running a hand over his face, trying to calm the thoughts swirling inside his head. he couldn’t keep pretending forever. not with you. not with sunghoon. something had to give.

it had been a few weeks since that movie night with jake, and you and sunghoon had been perfect for a while now. perfect in the way that every touch, every glance from sunghoon made your heart race, his possessiveness over you comforting in a way you hadn’t expected. it wasn’t suffocating—it was steady, like he needed to remind both you and himself that you were his. every brush of his fingers against your skin, every nuzzle of his bunny ears into your neck—it was all a quiet claim that had become second nature. but still, somewhere along the way, you thought things would settle between you, jake, and sunghoon. it wasn’t like there were any fights or harsh words. just this growing tension, this strange distance that no one could fix. jake, your sweet, carefree jake, had been pulling away bit by bit. neither you nor sunghoon had said a word about it. until today. this morning wasn’t any different. you were curled up on the couch with sunghoon, his head resting on your shoulder as he absentmindedly scrolled through his phone. his arm was wrapped around your waist, fingers tracing lazy circles on your hip, but his mind wasn’t with you. you could feel it—the way his body was tense, distracted, even though he was trying to act like everything was fine. “what’s wrong?” you asked quietly, breaking the silence. sunghoon sighed, setting his phone down on the table before leaning back into the couch, his jaw tightening. “it’s jake,” he muttered, his voice low, rough. “he’s been distant lately.” you nodded. you’d noticed it too—the way jake had stopped coming around as often, how he wasn’t as playful, his usual happy energy dimming every time he was in the same room as you and sunghoon. “i know,” you said softly. “it’s like... he’s pulling away.” sunghoon’s bunny ears twitched, frustration simmering beneath the surface. “i don’t like it,” he admitted, his voice sharper now. “he’s acting like we don’t want him around anymore. like he’s in the way or something.”

you leaned into him, resting your head against his chest, fingers brushing against his hand. “he’s never in the way, hoon. you know that.” he let out a bitter laugh, his grip on your waist tightening. “try telling him that.” the weight of his words settled over both of you, the silence thick with unspoken tension. jake had always been the one to bring light and energy into your lives—his carefree nature making everything feel easy. now it was like he was slipping away, and neither of you knew how to pull him back. “we should talk to him,” you suggested, your voice soft but firm. “let him know that nothing’s changed.” sunghoon nodded, but there was a darkness in his eyes that made your stomach twist. “yeah. we do.” before either of you could say anything else, the front door creaked open, and there he was.

jake stood in the doorway, his usual confident grin missing. his tail wagged lazily behind him, ears slightly drooped, but his eyes didn’t meet yours or sunghoon’s as he stepped inside. the energy he carried with him was completely off. “hey,” jake muttered, his voice quieter than usual. he glanced between you and sunghoon but quickly looked away, seeing you two together was too much for him. sunghoon tensed beside you, his arm instinctively tightening around your waist as if to shield you. “hey,” he replied, keeping his voice neutral, guarded. you tried to offer jake a smile, but it didn’t feel right. the tension in the room was suffocating, too heavy to brush off. “we were just hanging out,” you said, trying to sound casual. “you want to join us?” jake hesitated, standing in the doorway for a moment too long. his tail wagged once, then stopped, and he shook his head. “nah... i just wanted to check in. i’m good.” you frowned, guilt settling deep in your chest. “you sure?” jake nodded, but his eyes flicked to sunghoon for the briefest moment, something unreadable in his gaze. “yeah. i’ll catch up with you guys later.” before you could say anything, jake was already stepping back, his smile strained and unconvincing. “i’ll see you guys around.” the door clicked shut behind him, and just like that, he was gone. you sat there in silence, the tension in the air thick enough to choke on. sunghoon didn’t move for a second, his jaw clenched so tightly you could see the muscles straining beneath his skin. and then, without saying a word, he stood up, letting go of you as he headed toward the door.

“sunghoon?” you called after him, your voice laced with worry. “i’m going to talk to him,” he muttered, his tone low, dark, almost angry. “i can’t... fuck, i can’t keep watching him like this.” you nodded, understanding the frustration and pain in his voice. “go. talk to him. i’ll be here.” sunghoon didn’t say anything else. he just opened the door and stepped outside, leaving you sitting on the couch, heart heavy with everything that had gone unsaid. you trusted sunghoon, but there was something about the way jake had looked at you—like he was on the edge of breaking, like he couldn’t stand to see you with sunghoon anymore—that left a deep ache in your chest.

outside, the cool evening air hit sunghoon like a punch to the gut. he spotted jake sitting on the front steps, staring out at the darkening sky. his tail was still, his shoulders slumped, and for the first time in what felt like forever, jake looked… small. defeated. jake couldn’t stand it anymore. the silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable, until sunghoon finally spoke. “you really think i’m just gonna let you leave without talking about this?” jake let out a hollow laugh, his tail barely moving behind him. “didn’t think you’d let me, no.” sunghoon clenched his jaw, trying to rein in his frustration. this wasn’t like jake. he was never this distant, never this quiet. “you’ve been pulling away,” sunghoon said, his voice tight, filled with barely contained emotion. “and i fucking hate it.” jake tensed beside him, his ears twitching in that telltale sign of discomfort. “what do you want me to say, hoon? you and y/n are together now. it’s different. i don’t fit in like i used to.”

“bullshit,” sunghoon snapped, turning to face him. “you’re my best friend. you’re not in the fucking way.” jake’s laugh was bitter, his eyes filled with something darker as he finally met sunghoon’s gaze. “well, it feels like that. every time i see you two together, i’m just… the third wheel.” sunghoon swallowed hard, the weight of jake’s words settling deep in his chest. “that’s not what i want,” he said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. “i never wanted you to feel like this. like you didn’t matter anymore.” jake looked away, his ears drooping slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. “i miss how it was before. when it was the three of us, and things weren’t so... complicated.” sunghoon exhaled slowly, the frustration and guilt mixing with something else. he knew this wasn’t just about missing how things used to be. it wasn’t just about the three of them hanging out. it wasn’t just about friendship. "jake," sunghoon started, his voice low, barely containing the storm brewing inside him. “remember that conversation we had? before me and y/n… before we got together?”

jake tensed instantly, his whole body going rigid beside sunghoon, like he knew exactly what was coming. his ears twitched, and his eyes darted to the ground, refusing to meet sunghoon’s gaze. the air around them thickened with a tension neither had fully faced. "how could i forget?" jake scoffs. "you told me something," sunghoon continued, his voice steady but sharp, his heartbeat echoing in his ears. he could feel that familiar possessiveness clawing at him, but this time he kept it in check. this wasn’t about ownership—this was about truth. "you told me how you felt about her." jake’s tail, which had been swishing lazily moments ago, went still. his jaw clenched tight, the muscle ticking beneath his skin, but he still didn’t say a word. sunghoon felt his throat tighten, the knot in his chest constricting. he’d known—fuck, he’d known this was coming. but it didn’t make it any easier to face. he had jake’s confession buried deep, back before everything with you had gotten serious, but he’d never really processed it. back then, he was too caught up in his own fear of losing you, of making things official, of fucking it all up. and maybe that’s why he hadn’t taken jake’s feelings seriously. "you said you liked her," sunghoon pressed, his voice rougher now, pushing past the tension that hung between them. “and at the time, i didn’t think much of it. thought it was just a crush—something you’d get over.” jake’s silence was deafening. the weight of it made sunghoon’s head spin, but he kept pushing, knowing that if they didn’t get this out now, it would keep eating away at all of them. "but it’s not just a crush, is it?" sunghoon’s voice dropped, barely a whisper now, the realization hitting him harder than he thought it would. “it’s more than that.”

jake’s ears flattened against his head, his shoulders hunching like he wanted to disappear, to escape from this conversation entirely. but sunghoon wasn’t letting him go, not now, not when the truth was so close. “talk to me, jake,” sunghoon demanded, "just fucking say it." for a moment, jake said nothing, his fists clenching in his lap. but then, with a shaky breath, his voice broke through the tension, low and raw. "what do you want me to say, hoon?" he growled, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. “that i’ve been fucking miserable? that watching you two together makes me feel like i’m losing my goddamn mind?” sunghoon’s heart pounded in his chest, the intensity of jake’s confession hitting him hard. "i fucking hear you two, every night," jake’s voice wavered, but the anger and frustration in it were unmistakable. his eyes finally met sunghoon’s, and he could clearly see the pain and how it was eating him alive. sunghoon frowned. "i hear her moaning your name, i hear you fucking her, and every night, i’m lying there, trying not to think about how much i fucking want her. about how much i fucking want what you have." sunghoon felt the floor drop out from under him, but something else came along with it. something darker, more dangerous. something he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge until now. "you think i don’t fucking know?" jake’s voice broke again, his hands shaking at his sides. “you think i don’t know that she’s yours? that she loves you? i’m not fucking stupid, hoon. i know. but that doesn’t stop me from wanting her. it doesn’t stop me from wanting more.”

sunghoon’s breath caught in his throat, this wasn’t just some casual confession anymore—this was jake laying it all out, tearing open the wound he had been carrying for a while. "you want more," sunghoon muttered, the words tasting bitter in his mouth. his hands balled into fists at his sides, his bunny ears twitching with the flood of emotions he couldn’t quite sort out. "what the fuck does that even mean, jake? you want her?"

jake’s eyes flashed, frustration simmering just below the surface. "what do you think it means, hoon? i’ve wanted her since the day she walked into the center with you in her arms. i’ve wanted her, and you got her." sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, he didn’t know what to do with all of this, didn’t know how to handle the fact that jake, his best friend—the person who had been with him through everything—was really in love with you too. "fuck, jake, i didn’t know it was like this. i thought... i thought you were okay." "yeah, well," jake muttered, his voice tight. "i’m not." the silence between them stretched, thick and heavy. sunghoon’s mind was racing, filled with memories of moments he hadn’t given enough thought to—your laughter when jake teased you, the blush on your cheeks when his arm lingered a little too long around your shoulders, the way jake was always there, watching, waiting. fuck. maybe he should have seen it sooner. but jake wasn’t just anyone. he mattered. he wasn’t some random guy on the sidelines—he was sunghoon’s best friend. more than that, he was family. after everything, after sunghoon had spent months living on the streets, thinking he’d never have anything close to the life he had now, you had been the one to pull him out of that darkness. and jake had supported him, had been his brother in every way that mattered. and now? losing jake wasn’t an option, not after all they’d been through. "still, jake..." sunghoon’s voice cracked, "why didn’t you just tell me it was this serious? do you really think i wouldn’t understand?" jake let out a short, bitter laugh, shaking his head. “you were growling at me back then, hoon. what was i supposed to do?” sunghoon frowned, the memory creeping back into his mind. yeah, he’d been territorial. fiercely so. back then, he hadn’t been able to think of anything but making sure you were his. but seeing jake like this made his heart ache. “you’re my best friend and i love you,” jake continued, his voice raw with frustration. “but seeing you two together every day… it’s killing me, hoon.”

upon hearing those words, sunghoon's possessiveness, that dark, primal need to keep you all to himself, flared up like it always did, but oddly enough, it wasn’t the same. “shit…” sunghoon’s voice was softer now, barely audible as he ran a hand through his hair. “you’re not just some random guy, jake. you’re family.” jake turned to look at him, confusion flickering across his face. “what do you mean?” sunghoon let out a long breath, feeling like he was drowning in his own thoughts. “i mean, yeah, i’m possessive. i hate the idea of sharing her, but… you’re not just anyone.” he hesitated, the words feeling heavy and foreign in his mouth. "fuck, i care about you too." jake blinked, his ears perking up, his tail giving a hesitant wag. “wait, hoon… what are you saying?” sunghoon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to make sense of the mess swirling inside him. “i’m saying… maybe i don’t hate the idea as much as i thought. not with you.”

jake froze, his eyes widening in shock. “you’re serious?” the corner of his lips twitching as he forced back a smirk. sunghoon shot him a half-hearted glare. “don’t fucking push it, jake. i’m still figuring this shit out.” but the truth was there, sitting heavy between them. as much as sunghoon hated the idea of sharing you, there was a twisted part of him that didn’t hate the idea of jake being close to you. of jake being more than just his best friend. jake’s grin started to spread, his tail wagging a little faster now. “so, you’re telling me the idea of sharing y/n doesn’t make you want to punch me anymore?” sunghoon let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “no. still kinda wanna punch you. but… maybe not as hard.” jake’s grin widened, the excitement bubbling just beneath the surface now, though he was trying hard to keep it in check. "wow. progress, huh?" sunghoon huffed, rolling his eyes. “don’t get ahead of yourself. i’m not jumping at the idea. but… you’re family, man. i can’t just ignore that.” jake mattered too much to sunghoon to shut him out completely. fuck, it was weird admitting that—admitting that maybe, just maybe, he cared about jake enough to consider this whole fucked-up idea.

“so you care about me this much, eh?” jake teased, though there was something softer in his voice now, something real. “that’s pretty sweet of you, hoon.” sunghoon gave him a half-hearted shove, but there was no real heat behind it. “shut the fuck up.” then jake’s expression shifted again, a hint of that familiar mischievousness creeping back into his eyes as he realizes how much sunghoon cared about him. “so… you think she’s into me?” sunghoon groaned, rubbing his temples. “yeah, i think she might be into you. but it’s vague. I’ve seen reactions, little things, but I’m not 100%.” jake’s ears perked up, his tail picking up speed. “like what? like, she blushes when i’m around? gets all shy?”

sunghoon gave him a long look, his bunny ears twitching in annoyance. “yes, she blushes sometimes, but it’s more than that. she gets flustered, like she’s trying not to react to you.” jake blinked, clearly surprised. "you’ve really been paying attention to that?" sunghoon’s lips twitched, a small smirk breaking through. “more than you think.” “so what now?” jake asked, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “we just… wait?” sunghoon exhaled, leaning back on the couch. “yeah. we start slow. see if there’s something there for real.” jake nodded, his tail wagging again, but more controlled this time. “i won’t push her, i swear.” sunghoon shot him a side-eye. “you push her too hard, and i’ll fucking kill you. but yeah, we’ll see.”

jake wanted to jump for joy as his tail was waggling happily, before he tilted his head, that playful glint back in his eyes, though there was something deeper there too. “so the important question i've really been meaning to ask is… are we telling her?” sunghoon paused, the question hanging heavy in the air. tell you? hell fucking no. not yet. not until he knew for sure. there was too much on the line, and he wasn’t ready to risk everything. “no,” sunghoon muttered, his voice low and firm. “we’re not telling her. at least, not yet.” jake nodded slowly, understanding in his eyes. “so we keep it between us?” sunghoon nodded, the weight of that decision pressing down on him. “for now. i need to see for myself.” jake smirked, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “okay. slow and steady.” sunghoon sighed, "yeah," he muttered, almost to himself. "we’ll start tomorrow." jake grinned, but he didn’t push it further. “sounds good to me.”

sunghoon leaned back, bunny ears twitching slightly as he processed everything. tomorrow was going to be the real test. could he handle it? could he watch jake flirt with you and not lose his shit? the knot in his stomach tightened at the thought, but the curiosity—the need to know—was too strong to ignore. jake turned to him, his voice softer now, more serious. “hoon?” sunghoon blinked, caught off guard by the shift in jake’s tone. “yeah?” jake’s tail wagged once, a small, almost shy smile tugging at his lips. “i love you, man.” sunghoon let out a small, rough chuckle, “yeah, i love you too, asshole,” he muttered, the words gruff but genuine. they didn’t say shit like that often, but in this moment, they didn’t need to. it was understood. jake’s excitement hung in the air, practically buzzing. tomorrow. tomorrow, he’d see how it all played out, and fuck if that didn’t make his stomach churn. sunghoon had always been territorial as hell when it came to you. that was something he never bothered hiding. the idea of anyone else touching you, being close to you in ways only he was supposed to be? it had always set off something inside him, something fierce. but now, with jake in the picture, it wasn’t just jealousy twisting inside him.

it was curiosity. dark, perverse curiosity. because as much as sunghoon wanted to deny it, as much as his instincts screamed to keep you all to himself, the idea of you and jake—of watching jake get close to you, touch you, maybe even… fuck, his thoughts spiraled. what if you wanted jake too? what if jake could make you fall apart the way he did? it was fucked up. sunghoon knew that. but the thought of jake being able to make you moan, make you gasp his name, it did something to him. something twisted. he shouldn’t be thinking about it, shouldn’t be imagining the way jake would handle you. but the thing was, sunghoon liked it. liked the idea of watching you fall apart for someone else, knowing you were his but letting you be shared. he wasn’t ready to say it out loud, wasn’t ready to admit that this sick, fucked-up fantasy was something he actually wanted to see. but fuck, whenever he thought about it… his cock twitched at the idea.

every time he fucked you now, every time he had you gasping, moaning his name, that thought would sneak into his mind. what would it sound like if you moaned for jake instead? what would it feel like to see you come undone for him, knowing full well you were still sunghoon’s? and fuck, he knew it was wrong. knew that wanting to see you with someone else was fucked. but it excited him too, more than he wanted to admit. he’d gotten rougher with you lately, hadn’t he? pressing you harder into the mattress, fucking you until you were breathless, needing to remind himself—and maybe even you—that no one else could fuck you like he did. and maybe that’s why he was considering this with jake now. because deep down, he knew he wouldn’t lose you. he’d own this. he’d control how it happened. he’d decide how far jake got to go with you, decide when to let jake touch you, when to let you respond to him. his mind raced with images of you, spread out and panting under jake’s hands, your legs trembling as jake kissed down your body, touching you in ways only sunghoon had before. what would you sound like? fuck. sunghoon ran a hand over his face, trying to push the thoughts away, but they wouldn’t leave. they clung to him, dark and heavy, and he knew—he fucking knew—that he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about it now. he exhaled slowly, glancing over at jake, who was still grinning, his tail wagging slowly behind him, oblivious to the turmoil raging in sunghoon’s head. jake had no idea how deep this was going for him, how twisted sunghoon’s thoughts were getting. and maybe it was better that way. because right now? fuck, if sunghoon started talking, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. "you’re really that curious, huh?" jake asked, his voice soft but teasing, like he could sense the tension in sunghoon’s mind. sunghoon shot him a glare, but there was no real anger behind it. "i need to know for sure," sunghoon muttered, his voice low, rough with barely controlled tension. "i need to see it. if she really wants you…" jake blinked, but he didn’t say anything right away. instead, he just nodded, his grin softening, understanding flickering in his eyes. “we’ll take it slow. we’ll figure it out. i'm just happy you aren't pushing me away.” jake said quietly. but fuck, sunghoon wasn’t sure if slow was even possible anymore. not with how badly he wanted to see it all play out. wanted to see you squirm under jake’s attention, see you try to fight it but fail, because deep down, you wanted him too. he saw it, no matter how well you tried to hide it. "but don't take it too far," sunghoon warned, his voice rougher now, but even he could feel the edge of excitement in it. "don’t fucking force anything on her." jake grinned, tail wagging lazily behind him. "i won’t. but man… will you really be okay to just sit there and watch? when i flirt with her or touch her?" "yeah, i'll be okay," sunghoon exhaled, his voice dark and thick with anticipation. "i’ll watch." tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

it was the next morning, and you were in the kitchen, the smell of bacon and eggs filling the air as you flipped pancakes on the stove. the morning light streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow across the countertops. everything felt... normal. but good. like something had shifted in the air, lighter now, easier. you didn’t know what sunghoon and jake had talked about last night after they disappeared for what felt like hours, but whatever it was, it had worked. you could tell the moment they came back into the house, the way jake had that same bright smile, his tail wagging like it always did when he was genuinely happy. it felt like things were back to normal. sunghoon had looked more relaxed too, not as tense as he had been the past few days, his bunny ears resting lazily instead of twitching with that barely-contained irritation. he’d slipped into bed beside you, curling up close like he always did, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder before falling asleep without a word. you hadn’t asked any questions. you didn’t need to. you could feel it in the way they both seemed lighter, like the weight that had been hanging over them had finally lifted. as you stood at the stove, you heard the familiar sound of soft footsteps padding into the kitchen. turning around, you saw jake first, his tail wagging slowly, that easy smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he leaned against the counter. sunghoon followed closely behind him, his hair messy from sleep, bunny ears flopping lazily as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“morning,” jake said, his voice soft but playful as he eyed the food you were cooking. “smells good in here.” “morning,” you replied with a smile, feeling the warmth of his presence like a comforting blanket. “you guys sleep okay?” “like a baby,” jake grinned, moving closer to peer over your shoulder, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air dramatically. “bacon? oh, you really do love me.” you laughed, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “don’t get too excited, it’s for everyone.” “yeah, but i know you made it for me,” jake teased, his voice dropping to that playful, low tone he always used when he was trying to be extra charming. sunghoon rolled his eyes as he slid into the kitchen chair, though there was no real annoyance in his expression. “don’t let it go to your head, jake. she makes breakfast for all of us.” jake just smirked, leaning closer to you until you could feel the warmth of him at your back, his tail brushing against your leg. “still feels special.”

you glanced at him, catching that familiar gleam in his eyes—the one that always made you feel a little flustered, even if you’d never admit it out loud. it wasn’t the first time jake had turned up the charm, but today? today it felt more... intentional. maybe it was just in your head. maybe it was just jake being jake, full of energy and teasing like always. but there was something different in the air between them today. sunghoon watched the interaction from his seat, his expression unreadable, but his ears twitched slightly, a subtle sign that he was paying attention. you’d learned to pick up on those little cues by now, the way his ears would flick when he was thinking, or how they’d perk up when he was curious about something. “you good, hoon?” you asked, turning back to the stove as you flipped another pancake onto the plate. sunghoon glanced up at you, his lips curling into a small, sleepy smile. “yeah, i’m good,” he said softly, leaning back in the chair, his eyes flicking briefly to jake before settling on you again. “everything’s good.” you didn’t know what it was, but something about the way sunghoon said it made you feel like there was more to those words than he was letting on. you could see it in the way his eyes lingered on you for just a second longer, like he was thinking about something, holding something back. but whatever it was, he didn’t say. not yet.

you turned off the stove, setting the plates down on the table as jake eagerly grabbed a seat next to you. “so,” jake said between bites of bacon, flashing you a cheeky grin. “what’s the plan for today? more of you spoiling me with food?” you laughed, shaking your head. “i don’t know. guess we’ll have to see.” as the three of you sat there, the tension that had been simmering beneath the surface for weeks seemed to have finally dissipated. whatever jake and sunghoon had worked out last night, felt like a blessing. you weren't sure what would happen if things continued on the way they were, but you can't help your curiosity. just what did they talk about, exactly? but before you could think too much about it, the front door burst open, and in bounded jay and jungwon, jungwon in his hybrid form, full of energy and chaos as always. jungwon was the first to leap into the kitchen, his eyes scanning the room before locking onto the food on the table. jay followed close behind, a lazy grin plastered on his face as his eyes flicked between you, jake, and sunghoon. jungwon purred, his tail flicking as he leaned against the kitchen counter, eyeing the plates of pancakes. as if saying, "you didn’t save any for us?" jay chuckled, ruffling jungwon’s fur. "easy, wonnie. i’m sure they’ve got plenty." his eyes narrowed playfully as he glanced at jake. "you finally back to normal? not sulking around like a lost puppy anymore?" jake rolled his eyes but grinned, shoving another piece of bacon into his mouth. "me? sulking? never. just needed a good night’s sleep, that’s all." jungwon tilted his head before he shifted from his hybrid form back into his human one with an easy grace. you tried not to stare as the now very naked jungwon stretched out, completely unbothered by his lack of clothing. you quickly averted your gaze, your cheeks heating as you turned your attention back toyour food, his ears twitching as he gave jake a curious look. "hmm... you do seem a little more... yourself today," he muttered, eyeing jake suspiciously. his gaze flickered between you, sunghoon, and jake, as if he could sense something was up, something different. "something happen?"

you tensed for a moment, feeling the weight of jungwon’s words hang in the air. sunghoon, however, stayed calm, casually sipping his coffee like nothing was out of the ordinary. “nothing special. just a good night’s sleep for everyone,” sunghoon replied smoothly, though his bunny ears twitched—something you noticed right away. jungwon didn’t push, but there was a gleam in his eyes, something curious, as if he wasn’t entirely convinced. still, he let it go, at least for now, his tail flicking lazily behind him. "well, whatever it was, you’re in a better mood. that’s good." jay, meanwhile, had already made his way to the fridge, grabbing a carton of milk before plopping down at the table. "you guys doing anything today?" he asked, glancing around as he poured himself a glass. "we’re out of groceries, by the way. might be time for a run to the store." you sighed, glancing at the empty fridge with a frown. "yeah, I noticed. guess we’ll have to go today. wanna come with us?" “jungwon,” jay sighed, though he didn’t seem all that surprised. without missing a beat, he tossed a robe toward jungwon, who caught it easily, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. “what?” jungwon said with a shrug, slipping on the robe without a care. “she’s seen worse.” you shot him a look, trying to hide your flustered expression. "i’m still not used to it."

jungwon just grinned, clearly amused by your reaction. "you’ll get used to it." sunghoon shook his head, smirking into his coffee cup as he watched the exchange. "give her a break, wonnie. not everyone’s as shameless as you." "yeah, yeah," jungwon muttered, tying the robe around his waist before sitting down at the table. "i'm just glad jake is back to bothering y/n, and not pestering jay to play fetch with him all the damn time." he glanced at jake, who was back to his usual, cheerful self, tail wagging lazily behind him. "so, how'd you two make up?" jungwon eyed sunghoon, who was poking at his food, definitely seeing the way rabbit tensed. the question hung in the air for a moment too long as jake froze, his tail going still, and sunghoon’s bunny ears twitched again, a subtle sign that he was tense. "we just talked it out, really," sunghoon said casually, though there was an edge to his voice that only someone like jungwon would catch. jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on the tension, but he didn’t press. instead, he glanced at jay, who was watching the whole interaction with a knowing smile. "well, if you say so," jungwon mused, but he left it at that, choosing not to push any further.

jay smirked, glancing between you all. "well, whatever it was, looks like it worked." you forced a smile, the weird tension lingering in the air as you grabbed your plate and started clearing the table, not really sure you had anything to add anyway. sunghoon hadn't told you anything yet, and although it was weird and unlike him, maybe he had his reasons. "so, grocery shopping?" you said, trying to steer the conversation back to something normal, something you could control. jay nodded, already halfway through his glass of milk. "yeah, let’s all go. we need to stock up." jungwon stretched, his robe slipping slightly off his shoulder as he grinned. "i’m down. let’s make a day of it." jake’s ears perked up, his tail wagging behind him as he gave you a bright smile. "sounds good. let’s get going." sunghoon stood up, stretching his arms above his head as he glanced at you with a small smile. "yeah, let’s go." but even as you all moved to get ready, that strange tension lingered in the back of your mind. something had definitely changed between the three of you, and while you didn’t know what it was yet, you had a feeling it was only the beginning of something bigger. something you weren’t sure you were ready for.

you pushed the cart down the aisle, minding your business as you checked off items from the list. jake and sunghoon walked ahead, chatting quietly, their voices low enough that you couldn’t quite hear them. every now and then, jake would glance back at you, that familiar playful grin tugging at the corner of his lips. sunghoon, on the other hand, seemed more composed, almost too calm for someone who usually watched jake like a hawk whenever he got too close to you. “you sure about this?” jake asked, his voice barely above a whisper as they turned the corner, leaving you just far enough behind. his tail swished lazily, though his eyes flicked toward you with an edge of excitement.

sunghoon nodded, keeping his eyes ahead as he casually picked up a jar of pasta sauce, pretending to inspect the label. “yeah,” he muttered, voice low. “just... not too much. you heard me this morning, right? she reacts when you get close. just... don’t push it too far.” jake smirked, his tail wagging a little faster. “yeah, i noticed. you think she caught on?” sunghoon shrugged, but there was a flicker of something darker in his expression. “i don’t think so. but keep it light. no need to freak her out.” “light,” jake echoed, his voice dripping with amusement. “got it.” they both slowed their pace as they reached the cereal aisle, and jake turned, letting his shoulder brush lightly against yours as he grabbed a box of your favorite cereal. “this one, right?” he asked, his voice casual, but his fingers grazed your hand in a way that wasn’t accidental. you looked at him, slightly caught off guard, but smiled. “yeah, thanks.” sunghoon stood a few feet away, leaning against the shelf, his arms crossed casually over his chest. he wasn’t saying anything, just watching. his bunny ears twitched slightly, but his face stayed unreadable, his gaze following every movement between you and jake.

and jake? jake was in full form now, his touches lingering just a second longer than necessary. when he reached up to grab something from the higher shelves, he leaned a little too close, his chest brushing against your back, and you could feel his breath on your neck as he spoke. “you need anything else from here?” you stiffened, the casual brush of his touch sending a strange shiver down your spine. it was jake—playful, always teasing—but this felt... different. you glanced over at sunghoon, half-expecting him to bristle, to get annoyed at jake’s closeness. but when your eyes met his, he just... stared. a soft smile playing on his lips, his expression almost too calm. you couldn’t read it, and it made your stomach twist in confusion. what the hell? sunghoon wasn’t mad. in fact, he seemed... relaxed and that made your heart race even more. what was going on? you should be happy that he isn't trying to avoid strangling jake like he usually would, he wouldn't even hesitate to stomp right up to you two and tell jake to back off. you don't know if you should be happy he trusts jake more now, but it was new. unfamiliar, it was making your stomach churn in anxiety. jake, meanwhile, was clearly having the time of his life. he leaned over to grab a carton of milk from the fridge, his fingers barely grazing your hip as he passed it to you. “another one of your favorites,” he murmured, his voice low enough that it sent a weird thrill through you. “thanks,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady, but the closeness was getting to you. jake’s touches were starting to feel a little too much, a little too... intimate. but every time you glanced at sunghoon, he either wasn't paying attention or talking to jay and jungwon. the casual touches continued throughout the shopping trip. jake brushed his hand over yours when you handed him the shopping list, his shoulder pressed against yours when you stood in line, his tail flicking against your leg every now and then as if testing your reaction. and each time, you’d glance at sunghoon, maybe he just didn't see it properly, that's why he isn't reacting. you even got worried that he might snap when jake gave you a sudden back hug while you were choosing butter. because sunghoon definitely saw that, making eye contact with you as he walked towards you, but no, he just throws some vegetables into the cart and walked away.

you thought might say something about jake being too touchy. but he never did. and fuck, it was messing with your head. but sunghoon, on the other hand, was experiencing his own turmoil. with every glance, every touch jake made, sunghoon’s mind kept spiraling into places he hadn’t allowed himself to go. the possessiveness was still there, burning deep inside him, but with every touch jake gave you, the way you'd get flustered but clearly try to hide it. his mind wandered to dangerous territory.

he just couldn’t stop thinking about it. jake’s hands on you, jake whispering in your ear, jake fucking you. it was perverse, and yet, sunghoon couldn’t deny that it made him excited. he imagined it, your body arching beneath jake’s hands, your moans spilling out—moans that, for so long, had only been his. this whole thing is turning into something that was turning him on more than he cared to admit.

“hoon?” you called softly, breaking him from his thoughts as he zoned out. your eyes were wide, a hint of concern lacing your voice. “everything okay?” he blinked, shaking his head slightly to clear the haze of his thoughts. “yeah,” he said, his voice smooth and casual, hiding the turmoil inside. “everything’s good.” jake stood there, as jay gave him some canned goods to carry, eye-ing the two of you before he walked to throw it in the cart, you were still looking at sunghoon curiously, it was clear you had some sort of suspicion and it made him slightly panic. so he clears his throat before dropping the items into the cart, snapping you and sunghoon out of the moment that clearly felt... off. "i’ll grab the last thing on the list," jake murmured, his hand brushing against yours one last time before he headed down another aisle. you stood there, trying to steady your breath, feeling like the air between you and sunghoon was heavier than it had been all day. before you could say anything, jungwon came bounding back into the aisle, holding a box of snacks with a satisfied grin. “got everything?” "yeah," you said, your voice a little breathless, still reeling from jake’s touches. “just waiting for jake to grab the last thing.” jungwon’s eyes flicked between you and sunghoon, his nose twitching also sensing something off. he gave sunghoon a curious look. "everything alright?" sunghoon’s ears twitched, but he kept his expression neutral, offering jungwon a small smile. “yeah.” jungwon didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push. he glanced between the two of you once more before shaking his head, as if deciding it wasn’t worth prying. “right... well, we should head out soon. jay’s already loading up the car.” as jungwon walked ahead, sunghoon let out a slow breath, his mind still racing. this was going to be harder than he thought. once the groceries were loaded into the car, jungwon, who had been trailing behind with a lazy grin, couldn’t help but pick up on the weird tension between the three of you. it was starting to get on his nerves, because it was making everything weird. as a cat hybrid, his instincts were sharper than most, his eyes flickered between you, jake, and sunghoon, like he was sniffing out a hidden secret. something was going on here, and he wasn’t about to let it slide without asking questions. he sidled up to sunghoon, his expression a mix of amusement and curiosity, eyes narrowing slightly as he observed the way sunghoon was standing a little too calmly. “hey, you sure nothing's bothering you? you're oddly quiet, considering jake's been hovering over y/n like a hawk today.” sunghoon shot him a glance, his bunny ears twitching, but his face remained neutral. “everything’s fine, just didn't think it's a big deal.” he said, too quickly for jungwon’s liking. jungwon tilted his head, his tail flicking behind him as he leaned closer. “not a big deal? you haven't even told jake off, not even once.” his eyes darted to jake, who was suddenly all too quiet, his usual playful energy dialed down a notch. sunghoon huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to play it off. “stop asking, everything is fine. okay? maybe i'm just trying something new.” jungwon raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. “something new, huh? like what? group therapy?” he smirked, his eyes glinting with that sharp curiosity only a cat hybrid could pull off.

sunghoon rolled his eyes, trying to stay composed, but jungwon’s relentless questioning was starting to poke at his nerves. “no, it’s not group therapy,” he muttered, glancing over at jake, who was currently pretending to load the bags like he wasn’t eavesdropping. “look, it’s nothing, okay?”

jungwon narrowed his eyes, clearly unconvinced. “hmm, interesting,” he muttered, glancing between the three of you again. his gaze lingered on jake for a moment longer, noticing how unusually subdued he was. then he looked back at sunghoon, smirking. “well, whatever it is, you better hope it doesn’t blow up in your face, hoon.” sunghoon gave a halfhearted chuckle, trying to brush it off. “don’t worry about it, won. we’ve got everything under control.” jungwon raised his hands in mock surrender, his smirk never leaving his face. “alright, alright. just making sure. but, uh, if this ‘something new’ involves any drama... i’m out,” he added, making a beeline for jay, who was stacking the last of the bags.

sunghoon watched jungwon walk off, feeling the weight of his suspicious gaze still lingering on him. he let out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he shot a glance at jake, who was now whistling innocently like he hadn’t been caught listening in on their conversation. “you good?” jake asked, his tone light, though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. clearly, he found the whole thing entertaining. sunghoon shook his head, a half-smile tugging at his lips. “yeah, just... tone it down a bit, alright? jungwon’s already catching on.”

“who, me?” jake asked, feigning innocence as he flashed sunghoon a cheeky grin. “i’m as subtle as a whisper.” sunghoon shot him a look, trying not to laugh. “sure you are. just... remember, don’t cross the line."

you joined them, and jake had that gleam in his eye, the one that always spelled trouble, and before you could even process what was happening, he leaned in, brushing a lock of your hair behind your ear with a touch that lingered just a second too long. his fingers barely grazed your skin, sending a jolt of heat through you, and when he asked, “ready to go?” his voice was casual, too casual, like he hadn’t just done that right in front of sunghoon.

your heart skipped a beat, and you froze. your eyes darted between them, jake was standing there, grinning like he had no shame, acting like everything was normal, but it wasn't. jake had never done that before—ever.

“uh… what?” you managed to stammer, the word falling out before you could stop it. your body stiffened, the confusion crashing over you in waves as you turned back to sunghoon, searching for any kind of reaction. anything. you half expected him to pull jake aside, to say something sharp or cut the tension with a look, but there was nothing. no jealousy, no irritation, just… nothing.

and that threw you more than anything else.

in fact, sunghoon smiled. he just stood there, calm and unfazed, like this wasn’t something that should set off alarms in his head. like watching his best friend flirt with you in a way that felt far from innocent wasn’t a big deal at all. “are you ready to go?” he asked smoothly, eyes flicking over to you, his tone as neutral as ever. “or did you forget something?”

you blinked again. what? your head whipped back toward jake, who only seemed more amused by your growing confusion. his grin widened, and he leaned back a little, arms crossed over his chest, looking way too comfortable. there was a gleam in his eye, like he was in on some joke you weren’t privy to.

“what the hell’s going on?” you finally blurted out, unable to keep your voice steady. “why aren’t you mad, hoon?” your eyes darted between them again, your pulse racing. “he just—he just touched me. right in front of you.”

sunghoon raised an eyebrow, the barest hint of amusement playing at the corner of his lips. “did he?” he asked, his tone light, like he hadn’t even noticed. like he didn’t care.

how could he not care?

jake, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with laughter. “relax, y/n,” he said, throwing you a playful wink. “i was just helping out. didn’t mean anything by it.”

helping out? your head was spinning, and every second that passed without sunghoon getting upset only made you more confused. why wasn’t he saying anything? why wasn’t he even remotely bothered by this? did he not love you as much anymore?

sunghoon let out a soft chuckle, finally stepping closer, his hand resting on your shoulder in a way that should’ve reassured you, but it only added to your confusion. “we’re all good, babe,” he murmured, his thumb brushing your skin lightly. “nothing to worry about.”

nothing to worry about?

you stared up at him, completely baffled, the weight of his calm demeanor only making things worse. “but… jake—he just—”

sunghoon shrugged, his smirk widening slightly. “jake’s just being jake.” he said it like it explained everything, like it made sense somehow, but it didn’t. “you trust me, don’t you?”

you nodded automatically, but the knot in your stomach only tightened. “yeah, of course, but—”

“then trust me when i say,” sunghoon leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping lower, so only you could hear, “i’m not worried about him. you shouldn’t be either.”

sunghoon stepped back, hands in his pockets again, completely relaxed.

“so, you ready to go?”

the trip back home felt strangely quiet, the air thick with tension that only you seemed to notice. jake sat in the front seat, his usual playful energy still radiating off him, while sunghoon drove with that unreadable calm that had been gnawing at you for days now. his bunny ears twitched occasionally, a silent signal that his thoughts were running, but what bothered you the most was how he changed into a completely different person overnight.

you couldn’t deny it—jake was attractive. you knew that from the moment he shifted into his human form, revealing that tanned, surfer’s body when jay first adopted him. it had hit you hard back then, but you’d shoved it down, because you had sunghoon, and he always came first. a promise you made to yourself the minute you picked him up. he’d always been enough. more than enough. but lately... fuck, why were you liking the attention jake was giving you?

the minute you all got back to the house, things felt almost normal again. the usual banter bounced between you, jay, jungwon, and jake, filling the space with laughter and teasing.

"come on, y/n," jay grinned, throwing a teasing look your way as he dropped the grocery bags on the counter. "you better hide the snacks before jake demolishes them in one sitting."

jake flashed his signature cheeky grin, his tail wagging lazily. "what? i need fuel, man. especially after a shopping trip like that."

"right, 'fuel'," jungwon snorted, throwing a robe over his bare body after shifting out of his hybrid form. he didn’t even care that you had glanced away quickly, flustered at the sight of his nakedness again.

"careful, won," jake smirked, stretching his arms over his head as his hoodie rode up just enough to reveal the line of muscle beneath. "you might need the fuel more than me."

the evening passed quickly, but something gnawed at you all day—guilt, suspicion, confusion. you couldn’t shake the way jake had been more forward, his flirty comments a little too bold. just what had they talked about that suddenly made everything feel so... easy between them?

later, as you and sunghoon got ready for bed, he was already lying on his side, arms stretched out toward you in that familiar way, waiting for you to crawl into his embrace. his eyes softened as you approached, his body warm and inviting. he looked perfect, like always, his boxers hanging low on his hips, his toned body practically begging you to slide into his arms.

“come on, baby,” he murmured, voice soft and comforting, “you gonna join me or what?”

you hesitated for a second, but then gave in, sliding into bed beside him. his arms wrapped around you immediately, pulling you close, his face burying itself in your neck. the familiarity of his touch soothed you, but your mind was racing. you had to ask. you couldn’t keep it bottled up any longer.

“sunghoon,” you whispered, your voice shaky as his grip on you tightened, “have you noticed... jake? i mean, has he been more... touchy?”

sunghoon hummed against your skin, almost dismissive, his lips brushing lightly against your neck. “touchy? what do you mean?” his tone was calm, like this was nothing new. “he’s always been like that with you.”

you pulled back slightly to meet his eyes, searching for any sign that this bothered him. “yeah, but it feels... different. like, he’s being more... i don’t know, forward.”

sunghoon chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “we had a talk, that’s all. he’s just more comfortable now. nothing’s changed.”

his response wasn’t enough. you pressed on, ignoring the way his fingers trailed over your stomach, distracting you. “what did you talk about?”

sunghoon’s lips curved into a smirk, his fingers tracing lazy circles that sent shivers down your spine. “nothing for you to worry about, baby,” he murmured between kisses, his voice soothing but evasive. “just guy stuff.”

“sunghoon...” you tried again, but your resolve was weakening. his kisses were soft, gentle, and they always knew how to pull you in, to make you forget everything.

his lips moved to your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “why are you so worked up about it?” he whispered, his voice curious but laced with amusement. “jake’s just being himself. why does it bother you now?”

your chest tightened with guilt. how could you explain the way jake’s touches were getting to you? you swallowed hard. “i just... i don’t know. it feels different.”

sunghoon’s fingers slipped lower, teasing the waistband of your pants as his lips pressed a soft kiss to your jaw. “don’t tell me you like it,” he whispered, his voice darker now, possessive but gentle.

you froze, your breath hitching. the way he was touching you, the way his words wrapped around you—it was like he was coaxing the truth out of you. “what? no, i—”

“come on, baby,” sunghoon interrupted, his voice soft but insistent. “i’m not mad. i just want to know... do you like it when jake touches you?”

your heart pounded, your body reacting to his touch even as your mind spiraled. “i...”

sunghoon’s lips brushed against your ear, his voice a low murmur. “it’s okay. you can tell me.” his fingers continued their slow, deliberate path along your skin, making you shiver. “do you like it when jake touches you? because i’ve noticed things... things i think you’ve noticed too.”

his fingers continued their slow, teasing path along your stomach, but his eyes—his eyes were locked on you, watching your every reaction. you felt your cheeks burn, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you realized how much his question had shaken you. did you like it?

your throat tightened, and you looked away, your voice barely a whisper. “i... i don’t know.” the words felt heavy, laced with guilt, and you instantly regretted saying them out loud.

sunghoon’s grip on your waist tightened, but not in anger—just in a way that let you know he was listening, really listening. his lips brushed against your ear again, but this time, there was no teasing. just curiosity. “it’s okay,” he murmured softly, his tone calm and steady. “i’m not upset.”

you blinked, surprised by his response. he’s not upset?

you shifted slightly in his arms, the heat of his body pressing against yours, and felt a deep pang of guilt. “i didn’t mean for it to... i mean, i didn’t think...” your voice faltered, and you cursed yourself for sounding so unsure. you were with sunghoon. you loved him. but fuck, why did jake’s touches get to you like that?

sunghoon chuckled softly, his lips ghosting over your neck as he spoke. “y/n,” he whispered, his voice soothing, “i asked because i wanted to know how you feel.” he shifted, his hand resting just above your waistband, but his gaze never left yours. “but...” he trailed off, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied your face. “is it still just me?”

his voice was soft, but the weight of his question hit you like a ton of bricks. your heart stuttered in your chest, the guilt gnawing at you harder now. is it still just him?

sunghoon’s hand moved up, resting over your heart as if he could feel every beat, every rhythm that pounded inside you. “i know your heartbeat,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear again. “i’ve heard it enough times to know when it’s for me.” he paused, his voice dipping even lower, a dangerous edge creeping into his words. “but right now... is it for me?”

you swallowed hard, your pulse thrumming beneath his palm, fast and frantic, betraying the conflict inside you. you wanted to tell him it was only him, that it had always been him, but the way jake had lingered in your thoughts all day...

“hoon,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you felt your chest tighten with emotion. “i love you. it’s always been you.”

sunghoon’s grip on you tightened slightly, but his eyes softened as he listened to your words, his fingers tracing slow patterns across your skin. “i know you love me,” he said, his voice softer now, almost gentle. “i know that.”

but then, he leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek, his lips barely brushing against your skin. “but i need to hear it from you,” he whispered, his voice like silk, dark and smooth. “is it still just me?”

his question hung in the air between you, thick and heavy, and you felt your heart pounding beneath his hand. sunghoon was listening, waiting for your answer, and you knew—he could hear everything.

“yes,” you whispered, your voice shaking slightly. “it’s still you. it’s always you.”

sunghoon’s lips curled into a soft smile, but his eyes remained intense, studying your face like he was searching for something more. “good,” he murmured, his voice dripping with possessiveness as he pressed a slow kiss to your neck. “because no matter what happens... you’re mine.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine, and for a moment, the guilt was washed away by the warmth of his touch, the way he held you so close.

you tried to settle into the sheets, your eyes fluttering shut, but no matter how much you willed yourself to relax, your mind wouldn’t cooperate. every time you tried to focus on the steady rise and fall of sunghoon’s breathing beside you, his face would creep into your thoughts.

jake.

breakfast... the grocery store... his smile, his scent. you could still feel the warmth of him at your back, the way his chest pressed against you as he brushed against your waist. those casual touches, the ones you couldn’t ignore, the ones that had left you spiraling even now. it wasn’t just about how good jake looked, his perfectly built frame, or his playful grin—it was the way he made you feel today.

and fuck, it wasn’t supposed to feel like this. not when sunghoon was right there beside you. your perfect boyfriend.

you bit down on your lip, trying to force the thoughts out of your head. but your mind had a cruel way of circling back, no matter how much you fought it. how could you even think about jake like this when sunghoon was next to you? you felt guilt gnaw at your insides, your chest tightening with every wayward thought of jake’s hands, jake’s touch, jake’s smile.

but what you didn’t know—what you couldn’t have known—was that sunghoon was watching you the entire time.

he hadn’t fallen asleep. not even close. in fact, he was wide awake, his gaze locked on you, studying the way your brow furrowed, the way you bit your lip, the way your breathing shifted ever so slightly as you pretended, so hard, to be asleep. he could see right through you.

you were thinking about him, weren’t you? he didn’t have to ask; he could see it in the tension in your body, the way your mind seemed miles away. the way your hand, which had always instinctively reached for his when you drifted off, stayed clenched in the sheets tonight.

careful not to disturb you, sunghoon shifted in the bed, turning away from you, his expression unreadable. but inside, his thoughts were racing. his possessiveness hadn’t subsided, not even after you had reassured him earlier. no, if anything, it was stronger now, coiling inside him like a slow burn. but that dark curiosity? fuck, that was even worse.

he pulled out his phone, making sure the screen was dim enough that you wouldn’t notice, and quickly typed out a message.

hoon: she’s thinking about you right now. i can tell.

his fingers hovered over the screen for a moment before he hit send. his chest tightened as the message delivered, his heart racing in a way that was thrilling. the seconds ticked by, the soft sound of your breathing the only noise in the room. and then, his phone buzzed with a reply.

jake: what’d she say?

sunghoon glanced at you again, making sure you hadn’t moved, your body still tense despite pretending to be asleep. a slow, knowing smirk tugged at his lips. he didn’t need you to say anything. he could feel it. you weren’t fooling him.

hoon: she didn’t have to say anything. i know.

he paused, letting that idea settle in his mind before sending the message. the thought of you trying to hide it, to fight against the pull that had been building between the three of you—it only made his blood run hotter. this wasn’t just about jake anymore. it was about seeing how far you’d let this go.

his phone buzzed again, jake’s reply quick, eager.

jake: fuck, i knew it. jake: so what now?

sunghoon leaned back against the headboard, his gaze flicking over to you, lips parted slightly, your body stiff with the weight of your thoughts. pretending to sleep wasn’t going to save you from this. not when he was already ten steps ahead.

hoon: we get jay and jungwon out of the house tomorrow.

the response came almost immediately this time.

jake: shit. you sure about this?

sunghoon’s smirk deepened, dark with intent. he wasn’t just sure—he was dying to see how far this would go, how far you would let it. this was more than curiosity now. it was a need.

hoon: yeah. she’s reacting to you hoon: i want to see if it’s a fluke or if she really wants this jake: so what’s the plan?

he typed back.

hoon: push her until she can’t pretend anymore. hoon: let's see how far she's willing to go

the response came almost instantly, and sunghoon could practically hear the excitement in jake’s words.

jake: fuck jake: okay

sunghoon locked his phone, a calculated calm settling over him. his plan was in motion now, and tomorrow was going to be about observing, watching every little thing—how your body tensed when jake was near, how your eyes lingered on him. he wasn’t going to force you into anything. he didn’t have to. the anticipation was already bubbling beneath the surface.

but before he let himself sink too deep into thought, he unlocked his phone again, a final message forming on his lips, sharp and to the point.

hoon: don’t fuck this up.

he watched the dots blink for a moment, knowing jake was taking this seriously. finally, the reply appeared.

jake: you know i won’t.

with a satisfied smile, sunghoon locked his phone again and slipped it back under his pillow, his mind buzzing with possibilities. tomorrow, everything would unfold.

and maybe, just maybe, it would be even better than he’d imagined.

"wake up, assholes!" jay’s voice blasted through the house, louder than any alarm. "today’s family day. we’re all going to the amusement park. no excuses!"

sunghoon groaned into his pillow, his plans for the day instantly falling apart. he had been so close to making it happen—so close. but of course, jay had other ideas. loud, obnoxious, amusement park-filled ideas that involved roller coasters, cotton candy, and way too much time around each other.

next to him, you stirred, mumbling something as you stretched, completely oblivious to the tension. sunghoon forced a smile, trying not to show his frustration. how the hell are we supposed to pull anything off now?

across the room, jake was tense, practically vibrating. even though he was pretending to be laid-back, sunghoon could tell jake was pissed. not visibly, but there was no mistaking the irritation simmering under his easy smile.

“come on, guys,” jay’s voice rang out again, followed by footsteps and jungwon’s amused chuckle. “you can’t back out of this. it’s a day off!”

“i’m gonna kill him,” jake muttered under his breath, loud enough for only sunghoon to hear.

sunghoon stifled a laugh, giving jake a look. “chill, man. we can’t back out without it being weird.”

jake ran a hand through his hair, his irritation showing for a second before he forced a grin. “yeah, but it’s fucking killing me. today was supposed to be—”

“i know,” sunghoon cut him off, keeping his voice low. “we’ll figure something out.”

but sunghoon wasn’t sure how. you were already sitting up, yawning, stretching your arms, completely unaware of the storm brewing between sunghoon and jake.

“an amusement park sounds fun,” you said, voice groggy. “we haven’t done that in forever.”

sunghoon bit back his frustration, forcing a smile. he needed to know, needed to see it for himself, and now? now, the day was going to be filled with jay’s excitement, jungwon’s teasing, and crowds. there’d be no chance to see what he needed to see. not today.

jake, however, was struggling to keep his cool.

“do we have to go?” jake grumbled, leaning against the doorframe, his tail flicking lazily behind him. “it’s just an amusement park. we could stay here.”

jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on something. “you’ve been trying to get out of this since jay brought it up. what’s your deal?”

jake froze for a second, his carefree front slipping before he laughed it off. “no deal. just... don’t feel like roller coasters today.”

sunghoon shot jake a look that screamed, get it together, but jake just shrugged, clearly not in the mood to hide his frustration.

“you’ve never said no to roller coasters before,” jungwon added, his gaze sharp, like he could see through jake’s bullshit. “and now you’re suddenly not into it?”

“yeah, okay, jungwon, i just don’t feel like puking today,” jake snapped, more aggressive than necessary.

“easy, man,” jay chimed in, raising his hands. “we’re supposed to be relaxing, not killing each other.”

you chuckled at their banter, still completely unaware of the tension between sunghoon and jake. “come on, it’ll be fun. we’ll all get to spend the day together.”

sunghoon’s stomach twisted. spend the whole day together. yeah, that was the problem. today was supposed to be... different. but he had to keep the act going, for your sake.

“yeah,” sunghoon finally said, forcing his tone to stay light. “it’ll be fun. we’ll make the most of it.”

jake shot him a glance, and they were both thinking the same thing—this is a fucking mess. but sunghoon couldn’t bail. not without raising suspicion.

“fine,” jake muttered, his tone softer as he glanced at you. “let’s go.”

you smiled, clearly relieved jake was finally on board. maybe you were starting to believe sunghoon really did trust jake. maybe you didn’t have to feel so paranoid.

“alright, family day! let’s move!” jay called, annoyingly cheerful as he herded everyone toward the car.

you, jake, sunghoon, jay, and jungwon piled into the car. on the surface, everything seemed lighter, but underneath? jake was barely holding it together, and sunghoon wasn’t doing much better. they both smiled, laughed at jay’s dumb jokes, but inside, they were cursing the interruption of their plans.

as the car pulled into the amusement park, the energy picked up again, everyone buzzing with excitement. jay was already listing off the rides he wanted to hit first, while jungwon threw in his usual sarcastic comments. the banter was fast, light, and exactly what you needed to shake off the weird tension from earlier.

“okay, listen up,” jay started, spinning around in his seat as the car stopped. “we’re hitting the death drop first, no backing out.”

jungwon let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “yeah, because watching you scream your head off is how i want to start the day.”

jay rolled his eyes as he unbuckled. “please, you’ll be the one clinging to the bar like your life depends on it.”

jungwon grinned, shrugging lazily. “only ‘cause i don’t trust you not to freak out and grab me mid-drop.”

you laughed as you climbed out of the car. “you two sound like you’re planning a disaster.”

“don’t listen to them,” jake chimed in, stretching his arms over his head. his hoodie rode up slightly, showing off a sliver of skin, and his tail wagged lazily behind him. “i’ll bet twenty bucks jay bails before the ride even starts.”

sunghoon leaned against the car, his bunny ears twitching in amusement. “make it thirty, ‘cause jay’s definitely chickening out first.”

jay shot them both a look, pointing accusingly. “keep talking, and you’ll owe me.”

jake nudged you with his elbow, grinning. “what do you think, y/n? jay’s gonna puke after the first drop, right?”

you laughed again, playing along. “nah, he’ll scream so loud the ride operator’ll shut it down.”

jay rolled his eyes, unfazed by the teasing. “yeah, yeah. we’ll see who’s laughing after the death drop.”

as you all started walking toward the entrance, the banter continued, bouncing between everyone. sunghoon stayed close by your side, his hand brushing against your lower back as you walked. you could feel the steadiness of him, calming, even as your mind raced.

jungwon’s eyes darted between you all, his brow furrowed as he noticed the subtle dynamics.

“hey, sunghoon,” jungwon called out as you waited in line for tickets. his voice was casual, but there was an edge to it. “another day of not freaking out about jake getting handsy with y/n?”

sunghoon’s ears twitched, but his face stayed smooth, relaxed. “why would i freak out? jake’s harmless.” his tone was light, but there was something in his eyes, something that flickered for just a second.

jake snorted, pulling out his wallet. “harmless? don’t make me sound boring.”

jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “i don’t know, man. i'm not buying that you're suddenly okay with this. hoon.”

your stomach twisted. jungwon noticed it too? you weren’t just imagining things. but before you could say anything, sunghoon shot jungwon a lazy grin. “it’s fine, won. jake’s just being jake.”

jungwon’s eyes flicked between sunghoon and jake, suspicion written all over his face. but after a moment, he let it go, deciding not to push any further. it was clear whatever jake and sunghoon were plotting wasn’t something he could easily squeeze out of them. they were determined, united in whatever this was.

jay, oblivious to the shift, clapped his hands as the tickets printed out. “enough talking, we’ve got rides to conquer.”

the tension broke, laughter bubbling up as jay led the charge toward the biggest roller coaster in the park. the morning’s strange tension still buzzed at the back of your mind, but as jay’s loud enthusiasm filled the air, it was easy to push it aside—for now.

jungwon trailed behind, his eyes narrowing slightly as he continued to observe the subtle exchanges between jake and sunghoon. something was definitely up. he didn’t know what it was yet, but he was going to find out.

after the death drop, sunghoon slumped against the metal railing, his ears drooping like he was ready to call it a day. he looked like he was barely holding it together, pale and still trying to catch his breath. jake, on the other hand, was practically bouncing on his feet, grinning from ear to ear like the ride hadn’t just wrecked half the group.

"fuck yeah! let’s go again!" jake shouted, his tail wagging, full of energy. he shot you an excited grin. "come on, y/n, you were a champ up there."

you laughed, still feeling a bit shaky yourself, though nowhere near as bad as sunghoon or jay. you glanced over at jay, who was leaned over a trash can, gagging every couple of seconds. jungwon stood beside him, towel in hand, grimacing at the smell but still patting jay’s back like a patient friend.

“you good, jay?” jungwon asked, voice dry, though there was genuine concern in his eyes.

jay didn’t even have the energy to answer, just waved him off weakly before gagging again.

"jesus christ," sunghoon groaned from where he was slouched on a bench. "death drop is fucking suicide."

jungwon snorted, shaking his head. "and yet you’re still alive. barely."

as you all tried to recover, jake was still buzzing with energy, practically vibrating next to you. “let’s go on another one! come on, y/n, let’s check out the next ride.”

you could feel sunghoon’s gaze on you, and when you glanced over, he was watching jake with an intensity that made your stomach twist. but then, he smiled lazily, looking too tired to even argue. “babe, you okay with this?” you asked softly, biting your lip as you met his eye. sunghoon didn’t look mad. just... exhausted.

he waved you off weakly, nodding. “yeah, go. i’m good.” his lips curled into a tired smile. “jake’s got all the energy in the world. might as well use it.”

you weren’t entirely convinced, but jay, still leaning over the trash can, gagging between words, groaned out, “yeah... go... leave me... i’ll... catch up.”

jake grinned, giving you a playful nudge as he tugged you gently toward the next area. “come on, let’s leave the weaklings behind,” he teased, his tail wagging. “we’ll grab some snacks or something.”

as you and jake walked off, jungwon’s eyes tracked the two of you until you were out of earshot. then, he turned back to sunghoon, eyes narrowed. something was definitely off, and it wasn’t just the ride.

“okay, spill,” jungwon said, dropping onto the bench next to sunghoon. his tone was casual, but there was no mistaking the suspicion in his eyes. "what the hell is going on with you two?"

sunghoon, still trying to catch his breath, leaned back on the bench, running a hand through his hair. “what are you talking about?”

jungwon gave him a look, his ears twitching. “you know exactly what i’m talking about. jake’s been acting weird all morning, and now you’re just letting him drag y/n off like it’s nothing? that’s not like you.”

sunghoon sighed, rolling his eyes. “relax, won. it’s fine.”

jungwon crossed his arms, not buying it for a second. “fine? dude, normally, you’d be ready to tear someone’s head off if they even looked at her for too long. now you’re just cool with jake all over her?”

sunghoon tried to shrug it off, but jungwon wasn’t letting go. “jake’s been more touchy than usual, and you’ve noticed. i know you have. so, what gives? you two have some sort of deal or something?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, but he stayed calm. “we talked, okay? me and jake... we figured some shit out.”

jungwon raised an eyebrow, eyes narrowing. “figured some shit out?” he pressed, clearly fishing for more. "what kind of shit?"

sunghoon met his gaze, the tension thick between them. “stuff about y/n,” he admitted, his voice low. “but it’s fine. we’re good.”

jungwon’s suspicion deepened. “stuff about y/n? and you’re not gonna elaborate on that at all?”

sunghoon held his ground, firm. “not now, won. just... drop it. it’s under control.”

jungwon’s eyes flicked between sunghoon and the direction where you and jake had disappeared. he clearly didn’t like being left in the dark, but he knew when to back off—at least for now. “fine. but don’t think i’m not keeping an eye on this.”

jay, who had finally finished puking, dropped onto the bench between them, letting out a dramatic groan. “i swear to god, if this turns into some weird love triangle shit, i’m out. i can’t handle drama after almost dying on that fucking ride.”

jungwon chuckled, patting jay’s shoulder. “don’t worry, i’ll keep an eye on these two idiots. you just focus on keeping your insides where they belong.” sunghoon shot jungwon a look, but there was no real heat behind it. he knew jungwon was suspicious, but for now, he wasn’t ready to spill the details. not yet. not when he was getting closer and closer to what he wanted.

jake’s tail swished behind him, barely containing his excitement as he dragged you through the noisy crowd, his energy infectious. when his eyes locked onto the hot dog stand ahead, he spun around with the widest grin, looking at you like a kid on christmas morning. it was hard not to smile at the pure joy lighting up his face as he tugged you closer.

“y/n! hot dogs! let’s get one,” he practically shouted, his voice bouncing with excitement.

you laughed, shaking your head at how over-the-top he was. “you’re like a damn kid," you teased, already reaching for your wallet because, honestly, how could you say no when he looked at you like that?

his ears twitched, but instead of brushing it off, he shot you a smug smirk, playful and teasing. “yeah? and you love it.”

you scoffed, though you couldn’t deny it. jake had this way of making everything feel more alive, like even a simple hot dog was the best thing in the world. you paid, watching him drool over the sizzling food on the grill, his tail wagging so hard you half expected him to knock someone over.

“i swear, i can already taste it,” he muttered, his ears flicking every time the grill sizzled.

you nudged him, laughing. “you’re seriously this excited over a hot dog?”

he nudged you back, that playful glint in his eyes making it hard not to smile. “hell yeah. food’s always better when it’s with you.”

the way his voice dropped slightly, enough to make your heart skip a beat, was impossible to ignore. you tried to play it off, rolling your eyes as you handed him the hot dog. he took a huge bite, practically moaning like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

“this is so damn good,” he said through a mouthful, his tail wagging lazily behind him.

“you’re ridiculous,” you muttered, shaking your head, but you couldn’t help the smile pulling at your lips. “but cute, i guess.”

his ears perked up at that, and he shot you a flirty look, licking mustard off his lips. “cute, huh? maybe sunghoon’s right—you baby me too much.”

you scoffed, giving him a light shove. “maybe you like it.”

he leaned in, voice low and teasing. “only when it’s you.”

those words sent a familiar shiver down your spine, heat rushing to your cheeks. “i’m just glad you’re back to your usual self,” you mumbled, hoping to change the subject. “but why have you been so… close lately? like more than usual?”

his eyes widened for a split second, but then the smirk returned, his tail flicking lazily. “close?” he echoed, feigning innocence. “what do you mean?”

your heart thudded against your ribs. “you know what i mean,” you said, your voice sharper now. “you’ve been... different. touchier. more... i don’t know, intentional.”

jake chuckled softly, his eyes locked on yours. “intentional?” he repeated, pretending to play dumb, but you could see the flicker of recognition in his gaze. he knew exactly what you meant. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

you hesitated, but jungwon’s words echoed in your mind. “you’re letting jake get handsy?” even he had noticed. it wasn’t just in your head.

“jake, come on,” you huffed, frustration bubbling over. “even jungwon noticed. you’ve always been close, but lately… it’s like you’re trying to get a reaction out of me.”

his grin widened, stepping closer until his body brushed against yours. “am i?” his voice was soft, teasing. “you think i’m doing this on purpose?”

your pulse raced. “i don’t know,” you admitted, your voice shaky. “it just feels different.” he let out a soft chuckle, his eyes never leaving yours. “maybe it’s because you want me.”

your heart skipped a beat, and you froze. “no,” you whispered, but doubt lingered in your voice.

“don’t you?” jake’s voice was low, challenging, a question that hung in the air, thick with tension.

before you could respond, his phone buzzed, slicing through the moment. jake glanced down, his smirk widening as he quickly typed something, leaving you to wrestle with the confusion swirling in your mind.

you felt a knot tighten in your chest, but jake just stood there, calm and collected, his gaze flicking back to you as if nothing had changed. but everything had.

hoon: did anything happen? jake: she wants me. hoon: what? hoon: she told you? just like that? jake: she's shaking. bet she's wet rn

there was a pause before sunghoon’s next message came through.

hoon: fuck. let her feel it. she’s already yours.

jake’s eyes locked on yours, his smirk deepening. he slid his phone back into his pocket and stepped closer, so close now that the heat of his body pressed against yours. his presence was overwhelming, his voice a soft, coaxing whisper. “you don’t have to feel guilty, y/n,” he murmured, the words slipping from his lips like honey. “sunghoon knows.”

your stomach flipped, the words hitting you like a physical blow. “what?” you breathed, disbelief making your voice tremble.

“he knows,” jake repeated, his lips curling into a small, dangerous smile, “and he’s okay with it.”

you shook your head, trying to push the pieces together, but everything spun faster. “you’re lying.” your voice barely came out, the accusation weak even to your own ears.

jake chuckled softly, the sound deep and amused, sending a shiver down your spine. “i’m not lying. we’ve talked about it.” he stepped even closer, his body crowding you against the wall, the intensity in his gaze pinning you in place.

“no,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “there’s no way…”

jake didn’t hesitate. with deliberate slowness, he pulled his phone from his pocket again, his fingers grazing your side just enough to send a thrill of heat through you. his eyes stayed on your face as he turned the screen toward you.

waiting for you to see.

your breath caught in your throat as you stared at the screen. sunghoon’s name sat at the top of the messages, glaringly clear, and right beneath it, the message jake had shown you.

hoon: fuck. let her feel it. she’s already yours too.

the words were like a punch to your gut, knocking the air out of your lungs. your mind reeled, the ground shifting beneath you as the reality of it sank in. sunghoon knew. not only did he know, but he was okay with this—he wanted this.

the heat in your body surged, twisting with the confusion and disbelief, leaving you breathless, dizzy. “he… knew?” you whispered, your heart hammering in your chest.

“yeah,” jake said softly, stepping even closer, his lips just inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. “he knew. and now…” his voice dropped lower, rougher, “…so do you.”

you couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything except stand there, still absorbing the fact that the way sunghoon worded it. it was like you also belonged to jake, too.

“believe me now?” jake’s voice sliced through the fog in your mind, low and teasing, but there was an edge of satisfaction that twisted the knot in your stomach even tighter.

“he wants this, y/n,” jake murmured, his voice soft, coaxing as his hand brushed the side of your neck, thumb grazing your jawline with deliberate tenderness. the touch was intimate, careful, but charged. “he knows how i feel about you... and now, he knows how you feel about me.”

your breath caught in your throat, and your voice came out shaky, disbelieving, even though you had seen the messages yourself. “he... really said that?”

“yeah,” jake’s fingers traced your skin with the lightest touch, almost comforting if it wasn’t for the heat building between you. “he wants us both to be happy. you don’t have to pretend anymore, y/n.”

you stared at the phone again, the words still burning in your mind. let her feel it. how was this happening?

the weight of everything settled deep in your chest, guilt twisting into desire so intense it made you squeeze your thighs together, instinctively trying to contain the rush of emotions overwhelming you.

jake’s eyes softened as he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. “you don’t have to choose,” he said, his voice low but full of certainty, the calm in his words almost making it feel like this wasn’t a choice at all. “you can have both of us.”

your heart raced, pounding so hard it drowned out every rational thought telling you to stop. instead, you found yourself leaning into jake’s touch, your breath coming in shallow, shaky gasps.

jake’s grin darkened, his eyes flashing with something dangerous as he leaned in, his lips grazing your ear. “and now,” he whispered, his breath sending shivers down your spine, “we see just how much you really want this.”

before you could process his words, jake’s phone buzzed again. without hesitation, he pressed it to your ear, never breaking eye contact. the noise of the amusement park, the sounds of the crowd, all faded away as sunghoon’s voice came through.

“hey, baby,” sunghoon’s voice was calm, teasing almost, like he wasn’t aware of the whirlwind of emotions consuming you. “you saw it, didn’t you? the message?”

your heart slammed against your ribs, your breath catching as you glanced at jake, trying to find some kind of explanation for what was happening.

“did you get wet thinking about him when i was asleep next to you?” sunghoon’s voice dropped lower, the words sharp and cutting, making another wave of heat roll through your body.

you swallowed hard, panic rising as you struggled to keep up with the chaos in your mind. “what the fuck?” you whispered, barely able to find your voice.

jake just smirked, leaning back casually, his eyes never leaving yours as you pressed the phone harder to your ear, trying to make sense of everything.

“you told me it’s only me,” sunghoon continued, his tone soft but biting. “but looks like you’ve been a little naughty, haven’t you? is a rabbit not enough for you? or is it because you want to be fucked like a dog?”

his words cut deep, shame flooding your system, mixing with the darker desire that had been building, the one you didn’t want to admit was there.

“sunghoon, let’s just... can we talk about this at home, please?” you begged, your voice shaky as you desperately tried to regain some sense of control.

there was a brief pause on the other end before you heard sunghoon chuckle softly, like he had already won. “okay, let’s go home. we have the house to ourselves tonight.”

your breath hitched. “what?” you barely managed to get the word out.

“i told jay and jungwon to give us some space,” he said casually. “no interruptions. just the three of us.”

your mind spun, trying to grasp what he was saying. just the three of us.

“i’m not mad,” his voice softened, almost gentle. “i swear. and i’m sorry for lying.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat. “hoon...”

“but i had to see it for myself. and jake was right—you wanted him too.” his voice was raw, full of something deeper, but there was desire in it too, something that made your legs tremble. “i thought i’d hate it, but now... i don’t know.”

your legs felt weak, and you leaned against the booth for support, your mind still trying to catch up.

“i’ll be waiting at the car,” sunghoon said, his voice firm, like this was already decided, like the next steps were already set in motion.

the line went dead, and you saw him, walking away toward the parking lot, his back straight, his steps steady—completely in control of the situation.

you stood there, the phone still pressed to your ear, staring at jake, who watched you with that same playful, hungry smirk.

he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, “ready to go home?”

you stared at him, your mind swirling with conflicting thoughts, torn between wanting to run and wanting to see how far this would go.

with a shaky breath, you nodded.

as you reached the car, your heart pounded relentlessly, each beat loud and heavy in your chest, making it hard to focus on anything else. the headlights cut through the darkness, casting long, eerie shadows across the empty parking lot, the glow unnerving in the quiet night.

sunghoon was already in the driver’s seat, his face lit just enough by the dash, but his expression remained unreadable. his eyes locked with yours through the windshield, giving nothing away. it made the knot in your stomach twist tighter, leaving you uncertain and on edge.

jake opened the passenger door for you, his hand brushing against your lower back as he nudged you inside. even though the touch was fleeting, it sent a jolt through you, igniting something beneath your skin that you didn’t want to acknowledge.

you slipped into the seat, your breath shaky, your hands trembling as they rested in your lap. the silence in the car was thick, the hum of the engine doing little to cut through the tension that wrapped around the three of you like a vice. jake slid into the backseat with a casual ease that felt out of place, as if nothing had changed—but everything had. nothing about this felt normal anymore.

the weight of the moment pressed down on you, the air in the car thick and suffocating. jake lounged in the back, his arm draped lazily over the seat, his eyes flicking between you and sunghoon in the rearview mirror. a faint smirk played on his lips, like he already knew exactly how this was going to end, like he was just waiting for you to figure it out.

"you good, baby?" sunghoon’s voice finally broke the silence, calm and collected, but with an edge that made your stomach tighten. his fingers drummed lightly against the steering wheel, though you noticed his knuckles go white for a brief second, betraying the control he was desperately clinging to.

you glanced at him, trying to force a response through the tightness in your throat. "yeah, i just… i don’t know what to say."

he chuckled softly, the sound more amused than anything. "don’t worry. we’ll figure it out." his words hung in the air, thick with intent, a promise that made your chest feel like it was caving in. "you saw the message," he continued, his voice dropping lower, more intimate. "so you know i’m not mad. you get that, right?"

you nodded, though your chest felt like it was being squeezed. "yeah, i get it. i just don’t really understand… why?"

sunghoon’s eyes flicked toward you briefly, before turning back to the road. his grip on the wheel tightened again. "because i needed to see it," he said, his voice measured but with a dark undertone. "to know it wasn’t just in my head. that you… felt something for him too."

your breath hitched, and you shifted in your seat, your thighs pressing together as the heat between your legs intensified.

"and now?" your voice was barely a whisper, like the weight of everything was crushing down on you, leaving you breathless.

sunghoon’s lips curled into a faint smile, but there was something darker behind it, something possessive. "now we see where this goes."

his words sent a chill down your spine. you glanced in the rearview mirror, catching jake’s eyes. he was watching you, that same lazy grin on his face, like he already knew the answer.

"so, what’s the plan then, hoon?" jake’s voice cut through the tension, casual, like he wasn’t waiting on the edge of something dangerous. "you said we’ve got the house to ourselves tonight."

sunghoon chuckled, low and dark. "no interruptions." his eyes flicked back to you, filled with intent. "unless you’ve changed your mind, baby?"

your heart pounded, your pulse thrumming loudly in your ears. this was real. this was happening. "no," you whispered, the word slipping out before you could stop it. "i haven’t changed my mind."

sunghoon’s smirk widened, satisfied. "good," he said, his voice smooth, filled with control. "because tonight… you’re ours."

"to wreck," jake added from the backseat, his voice thick with satisfaction. you didn’t need to look at him to know he was grinning that cocky, knowing grin that made your stomach churn with a mix of dread and anticipation.

you swallowed hard, trying to lighten the mood, hoping it would ease the tension coiling tighter in your chest. "good thing jay made me get that driver’s license, huh?" you joked weakly, your voice trembling, the humor falling flat.

sunghoon glanced at you, his smile dark, teasing. "yeah, i guess. though tonight, we won’t need it."

the weight of the situation pressed down on you harder, suffocating. "what did you say to jay and jungwon? to get them out?"

jake chuckled from the backseat, meeting your eyes in the rearview mirror. "told them we’d explain later. just needed them out of the way."

silence fell again, heavier this time, thick with anticipation. sunghoon’s hand found its way to your thigh, his grip firm but gentle, his thumb brushing slow, teasing circles into your skin. "don’t worry, baby," he murmured, his voice low and soothing, though the dark promise in his tone made your breath catch. "we’re going to take care of you. both of us."

your heart raced, every nerve in your body on edge, your mind spinning with the weight of their words. the heat between your legs was unbearable, your body reacting despite the whirlwind of confusion and guilt raging inside you.

the words echoed in your mind, to wreck. sunghoon had said those words before, whispered them in your ear just before he’d taken you apart. now, jake was saying it too. jake was promising the same thing from the backseat.

you bit your lip, trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill over, but it was impossible. the knot in your stomach tightened as their words swirled around in your head. wreck you. take care of you. both of us.

sunghoon’s grip tightened on your thigh, his eyes focused on the road ahead. "we’re taking it slow, sweetheart. not rushing anything. but let’s be honest—if you didn’t want this, you wouldn’t be here, would you?"

his words hit you harder than you expected. deep down, you knew he was right. if you didn’t want this, if some part of you wasn’t craving it, you wouldn’t be sitting in that car with them right now.

"i... i don’t know what i want," you whispered, your voice small, shaky.

sunghoon glanced at you briefly, and for a moment, there was something softer in his eyes, something almost comforting. "yeah, you do," he murmured, his thumb still drawing slow, deliberate circles on your thigh, coaxing you, pulling you in. "and it’s okay."

jake’s breath ghosted against your neck, his lips close enough to send a shiver down your spine. "just let it happen," he whispered, his voice soft, but filled with a darker edge.

their voices, their touch, the heat between the three of you—it was too much. you couldn’t think straight, couldn’t decide if you wanted to run or let them push you over the edge, into something you weren’t sure you could come back from. the fear gnawed at you, but so did the desire—the darker, more dangerous side of you that wanted to see just how far this could go.

"this is fucking crazy," you muttered, though there was no real fight in your words, just a shaky thrill you couldn’t hide.

"what happened to you two?" you asked, trying to wrap your head around the shift in the air. "you used to be… just cute fluffies, and now..."

jake snorted from behind you, sarcasm lacing his tone. “i’m grown, y/n, even when i’m in my animal form. hoon’s the one who still looks like he hasn’t hit a growth spurt.” he threw a cocky glance at sunghoon through the rearview mirror.

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, but a low chuckle escaped him. "funny," he muttered under his breath, his hand never leaving your thigh.

but you weren’t laughing. "how did this even happen?" you asked, your voice sharper now, frustration bubbling over. "why didn’t you tell me? i had to figure this out on my own."

sunghoon sighed softly. "yeah, i know. i figured you’d be upset. i wasn’t trying to hide it from you, but i had to see how things played out first."

"when?" you demanded, your eyes flicking between him and jake. "when did this start?"

sunghoon exchanged a look with jake in the rearview mirror before answering. "the day i talked to jake. you remember?"

"yeah," you muttered, the pieces clicking into place.

sunghoon nodded. "that’s when it started. jake told me he wanted more."

your gaze shifted to jake, who was watching you intently, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "so you hid that from me?" you snapped, anger bubbling up. "you knew how he felt and didn’t say anything?"

"i didn’t want to push you into something you weren’t ready for," sunghoon said, his voice calm but firm. "i had to make sure it wasn’t just a phase for him. and when i saw how you looked at him..."

"so it wasn’t a phase?" you whispered, your voice barely audible, almost afraid of the answer.

jake leaned in, his lips brushing your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "nah, it wasn’t a phase," he murmured, his voice rough with need. "it’s been real for a long time, y/n. i just didn’t know how to say it without fucking everything up."

the car felt too small, too charged with tension. you were trapped between them—sunghoon’s steady, dark presence beside you and jake’s overwhelming heat behind you.

"so, what?" you asked, your voice sharper than you meant it to be, your head spinning. "you two just… decided to test me?"

sunghoon’s voice dropped low, steady, but with an edge that sent a shiver through you. "are you mad?" he asked softly, his hand tightening on your thigh, not too much, but enough to remind you he was still there, still watching.

behind you, jake’s fingers tangled in your hair, a gentle tug, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you feel like you couldn’t escape his hold. "we didn’t want to push you, y/n," he said quietly, his voice softer now, like he was trying to soothe you. "we just... needed to know."

you swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. your mind was a storm of emotions—anger, confusion, guilt—but there was something else too. something darker. you hated how much their touch affected you, how much you were craving this, even though you didn’t want to admit it.

"i don’t know what to feel," you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of everything swirling inside you. "i don’t know if i’m mad or..."

sunghoon’s grip on your thigh tightened just slightly, his breath warm against your skin as he leaned closer, his lips brushing your ear. "you’re not mad," he whispered, his voice low and soothing. "you’re scared. but it’s okay to be scared."

"you’re not mad," jake’s voice came from behind, quieter, more serious now, his fingers still gently tangled in your hair. "you’re just afraid of what this means."

you closed your eyes, trying to breathe, trying to make sense of it all. but the truth was undeniable. you weren’t mad. you were terrified. terrified of how much you wanted this. terrified of what would happen next.

"i don’t know what i want," you whispered again, your voice barely a breath, your chest tight with emotion.

sunghoon leaned in closer, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. "yeah, you do," he murmured softly, his voice dark and possessive. "you just don’t want to admit it."

jake’s hand slid from your hair to your shoulder, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles against your skin, grounding you, but also keeping you on edge. "you don’t have to choose, y/n," he whispered, his voice soft, coaxing. "you can have both of us."

your breath hitched, your heart pounding louder in your chest. the tension between the three of you was suffocating, thick enough to drown in. but deep down, beneath all the confusion and fear, you knew what you wanted. you just didn’t know how to say it.

"we’re not rushing you," sunghoon murmured, his hand sliding higher up your thigh, his grip firm but gentle. "we’ll take this slow. but you need to be honest with yourself."

you swallowed hard, your chest tight with emotion as you tried to find the words. "i…"

before you could finish, jake’s breath ghosted against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "just let go," he whispered, his voice low and full of promise. "we’ve got you, y/n. both of us."

sunghoon’s grip on your thigh tightened, hard enough to make you gasp, his knuckles turning white as he pushed the car faster. “do you want us to stop?” his voice was deceptively calm, but you could hear the strain beneath it—the hunger barely held back, the desperation to hear you say it, to push you over the edge. his thumb continued those slow, deliberate circles on your skin, like he was already claiming you.

your heart pounded, the intensity of the moment suffocating. you stared ahead, trying to focus on anything but the weight of their stares, the heat flooding your body. but you couldn’t. not with both of them so close, their presence thick with tension. your mind was a mess of panic, desire, and the undeniable truth.

you didn’t want them to stop. you couldn’t.

“no,” you whispered, your voice shaky, almost too soft, but you knew they both heard it. you could feel your body betraying you, trembling under their touch, wanting more even though your mind screamed for you to get a grip. but it was too late for that.

the moment the word left your lips, sunghoon’s reaction was immediate. his grip on the wheel tightened even more, and without hesitation, he slammed his foot down on the gas. the car surged forward, throwing you back in your seat, the sudden rush of speed stealing your breath. the world outside became a blur, and inside the car, the tension thickened, coiled like a wire ready to snap.

“fuck, hoon,” jake murmured from the backseat, his voice low, dripping with amusement as he watched you, his eyes taking in every twitch, every tremble of your body. “she’s already falling apart. look at her.”

sunghoon glanced over at you, that smirk curling at his lips, the one that always sent a thrill of fear and excitement straight through you. “she’s been fucking wanting this,” he said, his voice filled with dark satisfaction, every word deliberate, knowing exactly how much it was messing with your head. “isn’t that right, baby? you’ve been waiting for us to wreck you.”

your breath hitched, your thighs clenching together involuntarily as the heat between your legs became unbearable. their words, their touches—it was like your body had a mind of its own, reacting to everything they threw at you, and you were powerless to stop it.

jake’s hand slid down from your hair, his fingers trailing over your neck in a slow, tantalizing line that left your skin burning in its wake. he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear, his voice rough and dripping with anticipation. “better buckle up,” he whispered, his tone sending a shiver down your spine. “it’s gonna be a long fucking night.”

sunghoon’s eyes flicked toward you again, darker than before, his smirk growing as he saw the way you squirmed under their attention, caught between them, desperate for more. “and by the end of it,” he murmured, his voice thick with promise, “you won’t even know whose fucking name to scream.”

you were trembling, soaked, every inch of your body aching with need. it was overwhelming—too much and not enough all at once. the way they were looking at you, talking to you, like you were something they were about to tear apart, devour whole. and fuck, you wanted it. wanted both of them, wanted to be wrecked by them.

you couldn’t deny it anymore.

the car slowed as it pulled into the driveway, the engine’s low hum fading out, leaving a deafening silence in its wake. sunghoon didn’t move at first, his hand resting firmly on your thigh, not forceful but enough to remind you he was still in control. his eyes stayed focused ahead, calm and unreadable, while the weight of his grip sent your pulse racing. he wasn’t rushing you, but you could feel the anticipation buzzing just beneath the surface.

from the backseat, jake leaned forward, his breath warm against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. his fingers slid lazily along your shoulders, light but deliberate, making your skin burn where he touched. “no rush,” he whispered, his voice soft but full of promise. “but once we go inside... there’s no going back.”

his words wrapped around you, heavy and final. no going back. you swallowed hard, your throat tight as the reality of it all hit you—this wasn’t just in your head anymore. the moment you crossed that line, there’d be no undoing it.

jake’s fingers traced along your collarbone, slow and deliberate, sparking your nerves to life. his touch was so light, but it made your whole body react. “fuck, you’re shaking,” jake murmured, satisfaction dripping from his voice, as if your response was exactly what he’d been waiting for.

sunghoon chuckled softly, but it wasn’t gentle. it was dark, full of intent. “let’s not pretend anymore, baby,” he said, his voice low and smooth. he reached for the door handle, the soft click of the latch echoing through the silence like a warning.

“time to go inside.”

every step toward the house felt like walking toward the edge of a cliff, your legs shaky, barely holding you up. each step took you closer to something you couldn’t take back, but fuck, you wanted it anyway.

your hand trembled as you reached for the door. once it clicked shut behind you, the last of your hesitation snapped. you were in this. no turning back now.

jake didn’t waste any time. his hand wrapped around your wrist, yanking you aside with a roughness that sent a shock through you, slamming your back against the wall. the air left your lungs in a sharp gasp. the world narrowed to just you and him—jake’s body pressed into yours, trapping you against the wall.

his playful smile was gone. the teasing glint in his eyes replaced with something darker, more primal. his hands gripped your hips, firm, possessive. he wasn’t in a hurry—he was savoring this. you could feel it. he could sense how wet you were, how badly you needed this.

jake’s nose twitched as he leaned in, his pupils dilating. “fuck, i can smell you,” he growled, voice thick with lust. his breath was hot against your skin, his hands sliding lower, fingers digging into your hips as he dropped to his knees in front of you.

your breath hitched as you watched him, his eyes locked on yours, full of hunger. “jake…” your voice was barely a whisper, but it died as his nose pressed against the fabric of your pants, breathing you in like he was drowning in your scent.

“you’ve been wet this whole time, haven’t you?” his voice was low, dark, filled with satisfaction. his hands slid up your thighs, fingers hooking under your waistband, teasing the edge of your underwear. “you’re fucking soaked.”

you whimpered, body betraying you with every small sound, hips moving forward on their own, desperate for more contact. “jake, please,” you whispered, voice trembling with need.

his grin was wicked, predatory, as he pressed his nose harder against you. “don’t worry,” he murmured, his voice full of dark promises, “i’ll take care of you.”

a low chuckle from behind caught your attention, and you glanced up to see sunghoon leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold with a smirk.

“didn’t even make it past the front door, huh?” he teased, his voice filled with amusement.

jake didn’t look up, his focus still entirely on you. his hands slipped under your waistband, his fingers grazing your bare skin. “couldn’t help it,” he muttered, his voice thick with want. “she smells too fucking good.”

sunghoon pushed off the doorframe, his movements slow and deliberate as he stepped closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “don’t take too long, jake,” his voice dropped lower, rougher. “i want my turn.”

jake’s hands tightened on your hips, and he glanced up at sunghoon with a smirk. “you really gonna let me have her to myself?” he asked, voice low, full of anticipation.

sunghoon smirked back, stepping in closer, his gaze flicking between you and jake. “for now,” he said, his voice dripping with intent.

the way they talked about you, like you weren’t even there, like you were something to be shared between them—it was overwhelming, but fuck, it made the ache between your legs unbearable. it wasn’t just anger or confusion now, it was need.

“are you two gonna talk like i’m not fucking here?” you snapped, your voice shaky but sharp, cutting through the tension. you were losing it, barely holding on.

jake’s grin widened, his fingers tugging at your pants, pulling them down just enough for the cool air to hit your skin. “you’re here,” he murmured, voice soft but rough with hunger. “but we know you love it.”

sunghoon stepped closer, his hand cupping your face, his touch firm, possessive as he tilted your head up to meet his gaze. “we’re not ignoring you, baby,” he said, voice low and teasing. “we’re just making sure you know how this is gonna go.”

you swallowed hard, your heart racing as sunghoon’s thumb brushed along your jaw, his touch gentle but so possessive it sent a shiver down your spine. the way they both handled you, the way they teased—it was lighting a fire inside you that made you crave more.

jake’s hand slid fully under your pants, his fingers brushing over your soaked skin, teasing, inching closer to where you needed him most. “you fucking love it, don’t you?” his voice was softer now, more intimate, sending a thrill of pleasure through you.

sunghoon’s eyes never left yours, his other hand slipping down to your shoulder, squeezing firmly as he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. “it’s okay,” he murmured, his voice smooth, sending another wave of heat through you. “you can admit it.”

your body trembled, your resolve crumbling under their touch, their words. “yeah,” you whispered, your voice breathless.

sunghoon’s smirk deepened as he leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “good.” he whispered, his voice low and full of promise.

and just like that, jake’s fingers finally slid between your thighs, his touch sending a bolt of pleasure straight through you. you moaned, your body arching off the wall, your hips pressing against his hand, desperate for more.

sunghoon was right there, his breath hot against your neck, his teeth grazing your skin as his hand slipped under your shirt, fingers tracing over your burning skin.

with a wicked grin and a quick click of his tongue, sunghoon watched as jake wasted no time. jake’s grip on your waist tightened, tugging you toward the couch with a roughness that sent you stumbling. before you could even catch your breath, he had you pinned down beneath him, his body hovering over yours. this time, though, something was different—his touch wasn’t just cocky. there was a desperation, almost hesitation, like he needed this as much as you did. maybe more.

“here?” you gasped, your voice trembling, eyes wide as you looked up at him. he clearly didn’t care where he took you—the living room? “why?”

jake’s smirk faltered for a split second, his hands shaking as they moved over your body, like he was waiting for you to stop him, to say no. like he was scared this wasn’t real. “because we can,” he muttered, the usual cockiness in his voice thin, barely covering the uncertainty. he leaned in, his lips brushing yours, but it was more than just a kiss—he was seeking confirmation, needing your approval. “jay and jungwon aren’t here. it’s just us.”

his hands roamed your body, trembling with need, but it wasn’t just lust—it was a question, a plea. he wasn’t sure, and it showed. he wasn’t just touching you; he was begging for you to say yes, to want him the way he wanted you. his lips hovered over your neck, his breath shaky. “fuck, y/n, you’re not stopping me... are you sure?”

his fingers slid under your shirt but paused, waiting. “i need you to tell me you want this. that you want me.”

you swallowed hard, your body aching for his touch, wanting to reassure him, to let him know this was exactly what you wanted. sunghoon knelt beside the couch, his hand trailing up your leg, steady and sure, unlike jake’s shaky hands. his calm grounded you.

“this is what you’ve been waiting for, baby,” sunghoon murmured, his voice low and confident. he already knew your answer, but jake needed to hear it from you. “you want both of us, don’t you?”

your breath hitched, your body trembling beneath jake’s touch, the weight of their attention making it impossible to deny the truth any longer. “yes,” you whispered, your voice barely steady. “i want it.”

jake’s breath caught at your words, and you watched as something in him shifted. the tension in his shoulders melted away, his hands moving with more confidence now, but still gentle, still cautious. “fuck, i needed to hear that,” he muttered, his voice raw with relief.

“i just needed to know you wanted this too,” he whispered, his hands sliding down to your hips, his eyes locking onto your lips like he’d been starving for this moment for too long.

his breath came in shallow, ragged pulls as he leaned in, his mouth so close to yours, the heat of his body rolling off him, teasing your skin. his pupils were blown wide, full of hunger, and you could see how much he’d been holding back, how long he’d been waiting for this.

he licked his lips, his eyes never leaving yours, like he was mentally preparing himself for something he’d fantasized about too many times. when he finally kissed you, it was soft at first, tentative, like he was afraid to break the moment.

but the hesitation didn’t last long. the kiss deepened, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body, making you gasp as jake pulled you closer, his lips moving against yours with a frantic hunger. his tongue teased your bottom lip, and the way he kissed you—like he couldn’t get enough—had your head spinning.

sunghoon’s hand trailed down your arm, his earlier dominance fading into something more raw, more desperate. “don’t hold back,” he murmured, his voice shaking slightly, the control slipping away. “we’re just getting started.”

you kissed jake back, hard, your body on fire under sunghoon’s gaze. jake’s tongue slid against yours, rough and hungry, his weight pressing down on you, pinning you beneath him like he was afraid you’d disappear if he didn’t hold you there. his hips ground into yours, and the feeling of him so close had you whimpering into his mouth.

jake groaned into the kiss, his hips moving against you with a desperate rhythm, the friction driving him wild. you could feel how badly he needed this, how badly he needed you, and it only made you want him more.

but through the haze of heat and need, you felt sunghoon’s stare. he had taken a seat on the couch across from you, his eyes glued to the two of you, his usually confident expression slipping. this wasn’t just control anymore—this was something deeper, something that had been festering inside him.

before you could say anything, sunghoon’s voice cut through the tension, low and rough. “don’t look at me,” he commanded, though there was a tremor in his voice, a hint of something breaking. “weren’t you thinking about jake when i was asleep?”

your breath hitched, guilt and heat flooding through you all at once. the way he said it, like he was exposing a secret you hadn’t even admitted to yourself, made it worse. you opened your mouth to respond, but jake’s lips found your collarbone, his breath hot against your skin, and your thoughts scattered.

“sunghoon—” you started, voice shaky, but he cut you off, his eyes narrowing.

“don’t pretend now,” he muttered, his fingers digging into the couch cushions, barely holding himself together. “you’ve wanted this. both of us. so don’t fucking pretend you haven’t.”

there was a crack in his voice, the desperation spilling out, his control unraveling. this wasn’t just about dominance anymore—this was about his need, his raw, aching need for you, for this. he loved this. you could see it in the way his chest rose and fell faster, in the way his eyes darkened.

“hoonie…” you whispered, voice barely audible as jake kissed lower, his breath hot against your skin.

sunghoon didn’t say anything at first, just watched, his control slipping. finally, he growled, “don’t stop, jake.” but there was a rawness to it now, his confidence cracking. “don’t fucking stop.”

sunghoon leaned forward, elbows on his knees, the predatory gleam in his eyes darkening. his lips curled into a smirk, voice low and teasing. “don’t be shy now, baby,” he murmured, his control slipping just slightly. “you’re the one who wanted this. so let him take you.”

“y/n,” jake groaned, his voice raw with need. his hands hovered at the waistband of your pants, trembling as his ears twitched, tail flicking excitedly behind him.

“can i... can i eat your pussy?” the words were barely above a whisper, desperate, reverent, like he couldn’t believe he was finally asking.

your legs parted on instinct, your hips lifting slightly as your trembling fingers brushed his wrist, giving him permission.

jake whimpered softly at your touch, a sound so desperate it sent a jolt of heat through your core. the second you gave him that small sign, jake moved fast, tugging your pants down in one quick motion. his breathing hitched as his eyes locked onto you, the wetness between your thighs making his tail flick even faster, his excitement impossible to hide.

the heat between your legs was almost unbearable as jake knelt there, his eyes dark and focused, his mouth practically watering. his tongue darted out to wet his lips, the anticipation driving you insane, your body aching for his touch, for the release you’d been craving since the car.

sunghoon chuckled low, a mix of amusement and something more raw, more desperate. “she’s been wet since the car ride,” he said, but there was a tension in his voice now, like watching jake take his time with you was starting to break his own control. “she wants this, jake. give it to her.”

jake whimpered softly, his hands gripping your thighs tighter as he glanced up at you, eyes pleading. “please,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “i wanna make you feel good… i’ve been dreaming about this… now i get to taste you.”

your breath caught in your throat, and before you could respond, jake’s mouth was on you, his tongue sliding between your folds, hot and wet, desperate. the second his tongue hit your clit, he groaned low, the vibration sending shockwaves through your body. he wasn’t holding back, devouring you like he’d been starving for this moment, each flick of his tongue designed to pull more sounds from your lips.

your head fell back against the couch, your hips bucking into his mouth as his tongue worked you over, every stroke deliberate yet filled with need, like he couldn’t get enough. “fuck,” you whimpered, hands gripping the cushions, your body trembling under the intensity of his touch. he was worshipping you, treating you like you were the only thing that mattered.

jake’s ears twitched, his tail swayed frantically as he moaned into you, holding you in place while his face buried deeper between your legs. his tongue flicked over your clit again, circling it, teasing it, and each moan you let out only fueled him more. his own sounds of pleasure mixed with yours, as if your pleasure was feeding his own.

“so fucking perfect,” he mumbled between licks, voice rough with need. “taste so good… i could do this forever…”

his praise made your body shudder, the pleasure building faster than you could handle. “jake—fuck,” you whimpered, grinding against his mouth, chasing the friction, the heat, the release you were so close to. he groaned, working faster, more desperate, the vibrations of his moans pushing you closer to the edge.

sunghoon was still watching, eyes dark and full of hunger. his fingers gripped the couch, knuckles white as he tried to keep some control, but it was slipping fast. “don’t hold back,” sunghoon growled, his voice rough, tinged with desperation. “let him hear how much you love it.”

“please,” jake begged, his voice muffled by your core. “i need to hear you…”

your mind was spinning, your body trembling, and as jake flicked his tongue over your clit again, your back arched, a strangled moan escaping your lips. “yes—fuck, you’re doing so good, jake,” you whimpered, your hips grinding harder against him, every word laced with need. “don’t stop…”

jake’s ears twitched again, and he whimpered. “i love you like this,” he groaned, the words barely audible between his desperate licks.

your breath hitched, and sunghoon’s hand gripped your throat lightly, fingers digging in just enough to make your head spin. he leaned closer, eyes blazing with need. “you hear that, baby?” he growled, voice rough, breaking. “he’s fucking losing it over you. we both are.”

the intensity of their attention, the way sunghoon’s control was slipping, made your body tremble. the pleasure twisted tighter and tighter until you couldn’t hold it back anymore. your hips bucked into jake’s mouth, hands tangling in his hair as a loud moan tore from your throat.

“yeah?” jake babbled, voice muffled against you, almost like he was losing himself. “fuck… i’ve been thinking about this for so long. listening to you and sunghoon fuck every night… couldn’t stop thinking about how you’d sound when i finally got to taste you.”

his words were filthy, spilling out like a confession, but it was the way he craved your approval that made your head spin. his need, his desperation to make you feel good, to hear you say he was doing it right—it was written in every flick of his tongue, every twitch of his ears and tail.

your breath hitched as you bit your lip, trying to keep some control, though his mouth was driving you insane. “jake… keep going, just like that,” you whispered, fingers tightening in his hair, pulling him closer.

he groaned, the sound vibrating through your core as his tongue flattened against your clit, licking slow and long, savoring every second, like he didn’t want to rush it.

“you have no idea how hard it was,” he panted, pulling back for just a moment, his breath ragged. “listening to you scream for him every night… knowing i wanted to be the one making you feel like that.”

jake whimpered again, diving back between your legs, his tongue moving faster now, licking you like he was desperate, like he needed you to fall apart under him to prove something to himself.

“am i doing it right?” he mumbled, his voice muffled against your skin, almost frantic, like he couldn’t bear the thought of getting it wrong. his hands gripped your thighs tighter, holding you in place, his body trembling every time he heard you moan. “tell me i’m doing it right... i need to hear it.”

your head fell back, overwhelmed by the intensity of his desperation, the way his tongue never stopped, circling and teasing in just the right way. “yes, jake, fuck, you’re doing so good,” you gasped, your voice shaking with the pleasure that was building inside you. “don’t stop… don’t you dare stop.”

jake let out a loud, needy whine at your words, his tail wagging frantically behind him like he couldn’t control it. “i won’t stop, i swear, i’ll keep going as long as you want,” he whimpered, his voice cracking with emotion. “please don’t make me stop. you taste so fucking good… i need more. i need you.”

his words came out in a rush, breathless and broken, as if the need to please you was consuming him from the inside out. he was almost babbling now, his voice barely steady as he continued to worship you with his mouth, every flick of his tongue matched by a soft, pleading whimper. the more you praised him, the harder he worked, desperate for your approval, for you to tell him he was doing enough.

“you’re perfect,” he groaned, his voice rough and wrecked, his lips brushing against your clit again. “so fucking perfect. please... i need to hear you scream, i need to make you come... please let me.”

your fingers tightened in his hair, your body trembling as the pleasure built faster, more intense with every stroke of his tongue. “jake… fuck, you’re gonna make me come,” you whimpered, barely able to hold yourself together under the onslaught of his mouth.

he moaned into you, his hips grinding helplessly into the floor beneath him, his entire body shaking with need. “please, i want you to—i need you to,” he begged, his voice so raw, it almost broke your heart. “i need to hear it… i want to be the one who makes you come...”

his desperation, the way he was practically begging for your release, sent you over the edge. your hips bucked into his mouth, your moans spilling out uncontrollably as the pleasure tore through you, your body trembling violently beneath him.

jake groaned loudly, his tongue working you through it, licking and sucking with a frenzy like he couldn’t get enough of you, couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. “yes, yes,” he whimpered, his tail wagging furiously as he moaned into your core. “fuck, i did it... you’re coming for me...”

your body collapsed back against the couch, trembling, and jake finally pulled back, his lips swollen, his face flushed, panting heavily as he stared up at you, his eyes wide and full of awe and need. his ears twitched, his breathing ragged, like he was barely holding himself together.

sunghoon’s low chuckle broke the moment, his voice thick with amusement but tinged with something darker. “look at him, baby,” he said, his voice rough with arousal. “he’s completely fucking wrecked for you.”

jake whimpered softly, his eyes darting to sunghoon for just a second before locking back onto you, his breath still coming in quick, uneven gasps. “i have been,” he whispered, his voice soft but desperate. “i’ve been waiting for this...”

jake wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm, still kneeling above you, panting heavily as he stared down at you, completely fucked-out and flushed, dripping onto the couch beneath you.

his chest heaved with every breath, the sight of you wrecked like this sending a shiver through him. this couch, this spot—it was his favorite now, without a doubt. this would be the place he'd remember every time he thought of you, right here, beneath him.

his eyes were glazed, half-lidded with lust, but even with how overwhelmed he was, he wasn’t done. he growled low in his throat as he rubbed the head of his cock between your folds, teasing you, watching your body twitch and respond to every little touch. your expression—fucked-out and desperate—was driving him wild, making it impossible for him to think clearly.

“fuck… can i?” jake’s voice was shaky, filled with that mix of submissiveness and need, but he paused, biting his lip as his hips continued to rock against you. he wanted to ask, to make sure you wanted it too, but the control, the need to make you his, overrode his thoughts.

his eyes flicked down to your chest, and he let out a groan, changing his mind. “no… wait. i wanna fuck your tits first. fuck, i need that.”

without waiting for an answer, jake moved down, positioning himself between your breasts. his hands gripped them tightly, squeezing them together as he groaned, sliding his cock between them. the head of his cock brushed your chin, teasing your lips, and you couldn’t resist—your tongue darted out, chasing the tip, wanting more.

the second your tongue grazed the tip of his cock, jake lost it. a strangled, desperate moan tore from his throat, and without thinking, he thrust forward, shoving himself into your mouth. his cock slid past your lips, and he groaned loudly, the sensation overwhelming him as your tongue swirled around him.

“fuck—y/n,” he whimpered, his voice trembling as his hands flew to your hair, gripping it tight. his hips bucked, unable to control himself, as he pushed deeper into your mouth, the heat and wetness making his head spin. “you want me so bad, don't you? fuck, chasing my cock like that?”

sunghoon’s gaze never left the two of you, his face contorted in euphoria as he watched jake lose control. his hand was wrapped around his own cock, stroking slowly, his eyes dark and focused on the way you swallowed jake, your eyes already watering from how deep he was pushing. “you're so pretty,” sunghoon muttered, voice rough with arousal.

jake groaned again, his hips stuttering as he tried to hold himself back, but the sight of you—tears streaming down your cheeks, lips stretched around his cock—was too much.

his tail flicked behind him wildly, his ears twitching as he whimpered, his voice breaking. “fuck, i’m sorry, i can’t—let me fuck your mouth please,” he babbled, pushing deeper, chasing the feeling of your throat tightening around him.

your tongue swirled around the tip of his cock as he slid in and out of your mouth, your eyes watering as you tried to keep up with his erratic thrusts. every sound he made, every broken moan, only spurred you on, your hands reaching up to grab his thighs, pulling him closer, taking him deeper.

“fuck… look at her,” sunghoon growled, his voice deepening as his hand moved faster on his cock, watching every movement with intensity. “look how good she looks with your cock in her mouth. she’s fucking perfect, jake.”

jake moaned loudly, his head falling back as his hips jerked forward, thrusting into your mouth with more desperation. “yes, yes,” he whimpered, his body trembling as he fucked your mouth, tears streaming down your cheeks as you took him deeper. “fuck, you’re so good… so fucking good.”

your throat tightened around him, and he let out a strangled cry, his hands tightening in your hair as he tried to hold back, but the pleasure was too much. his hips bucked forward, his cock hitting the back of your throat, and he whimpered, completely undone by you. “i’m close—fuck, i’m gonna come in her mouth, hoon,” jake gasped, his voice shaky, his entire body trembling as he teetered on the edge.

sunghoon’s hand moved faster on his cock, his eyes dark with lust as he watched jake fall apart above you. “come for her, jake,” sunghoon commanded, his voice low and rough. “give it to her. let her fucking swallow it.”

jake whimpered one last time before his hips stilled, his cock twitching in your mouth as he came, the hot release spilling down your throat. your eyes watered as you swallowed him down, his name slipping from your lips in muffled gasps as he moaned, his body shuddering with every wave of pleasure.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” jake whimpered, his hands still tangled in your hair as his body shook, completely wrecked. his breath came in ragged gasps, his cock still pulsing in your mouth.

but before you could swallow, jake’s lips were on yours, crashing into you with a desperate, frantic kiss, his tongue immediately slipping into your mouth, tasting himself on you.

the groan that escaped you was involuntary, a guttural sound from deep in your chest as jake moaned into your mouth, his tongue swirling around yours, swallowing every trace of himself from your lips.

"holy shit, jake," you gasped between breaths, his lips still pressed against yours, muffling the desperate sounds escaping him.

"fuck," jake whimpered, his body trembling as he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his lips still brushing yours.

"tasting myself on you… fuck, that was—" he broke off, another broken moan spilling from his lips, his hands gripping your hair tighter, pulling you back into him like he couldn’t stand to be apart from you for even a second. his lips crashed into yours again, frantic, needy, devouring every whimper and gasp that escaped you.

sunghoon’s voice cut through the haze, low and thick with lust. "look at you, jake," he murmured, his hand moving slowly over his cock, his gaze fixed on the two of you. "completely falling apart. fuck, i love seeing her wreck you like this."

jake whimpered softly, still tasting himself on your tongue, his hands trembling as he held you close. he was still kneeling on the couch, staring down at you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, but the sight of you—fucked-out and flushed—kept him on the edge. his cock was still hard, still throbbing between your legs, slick and teasing you with every shift of his hips.

you blinked up at him, trying to prop yourself up on your elbows, but your body felt too heavy, too sensitive. jake chuckled softly, biting his lip as he continued to rub the tip of his cock against your entrance, barely pushing in, watching you squirm. “can’t help it,” he muttered, voice breathless. “you feel too fucking good.”

your eyes widened, disbelief clear as you looked down and saw he was still hard, throbbing and leaking. “jake,” you whimpered, your voice shaky, overwhelmed by the teasing, the way his cock brushed against your clit every time he rocked forward. “you’re still so hard…”

he let out a soft, needy groan, biting his lip harder. “i know,” he whimpered, his voice trembling. “i want more… please, y/n, i’m sorry—” his hips rocked forward, pressing the tip of his cock against your entrance again, but never fully pushing inside, dragging the anticipation out until it was unbearable.

“fuck me, jake,” you whimpered, your fingers gripping the couch as you tried to push yourself closer to him, desperate for more. “i need you.”

his eyes fluttered shut, a soft whimper escaping him at your words, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. "tell me how much you need it," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "beg for it. tell me you need me."

as he spoke, his fingers slipped down, rubbing slow, teasing circles over your clit, making your breath hitch and your body arch beneath him.

“i need you,” you gasped, your body trembling under his touch, your hips moving in time with the gentle pressure of his fingers. “please, jake, i need you so bad… don’t tease me anymore.”

he whimpered, his breath shaky as he lined himself up again, the head of his cock teasing your entrance. “okay… i’ll give you everything.”

but just before he could push in, sunghoon stepped closer, his cock already hard and glistening as he stroked it slowly, his eyes dark as they flicked between you and jake. "keep looking at me, baby," sunghoon commanded, his voice rough, filled with hunger. "i want your eyes on me while he fucks you."

jake let out a shaky breath as he finally pushed inside you, slow and deliberate, filling you completely. the sensation sent a wave of heat through your body, your walls clenching around him as a moan slipped from your lips. jake’s groan mixed with yours, his hands gripping your hips tighter as he started to move, slow at first, then faster, his desperation taking over.

sunghoon’s presence loomed above you, his cock inches from your face, the weight of his gaze making your heart race. "open up," he growled softly, his hand wrapping around your jaw, tilting your head up. "i want to feel that mouth on me."

your lips parted, and sunghoon groaned as he pushed his cock between them, his hand tangling in your hair as you took him into your mouth. the sensation of both of them—jake fucking you harder, deeper, while sunghoon filled your mouth—was overwhelming, your body trembling under the intensity of it all.

“oh, she feels so good,” jake whimpered, his hips rocking against yours as he fucked you, his pace quickening with every desperate thrust. his hands tightened on your waist, pulling you closer, needing to feel every inch of you. "please—i need… fuck, i need to make her scream. take your dick out of her mouth for a damn second, i need to hear her."

sunghoon let out a low chuckle, his fingers loosening in your hair as he pulled out, cock glistening with your spit. “alright,” he muttered, voice thick with amusement, but his eyes stayed dark, locked on the sight of jake losing himself in you. he stepped back, letting jake take control without a second thought.

the moment sunghoon moved, jake twisted your body toward him. his hands gripped your face, rough, forcing your eyes to meet his. there was a wildness in his gaze, a hunger that sent a chill down your spine as he thrust into you harder, each movement deeper, more desperate. you could barely catch your breath, the air knocked out of you with every brutal stroke.

his cock slammed against your cervix with every thrust, a gasp tearing from your throat, the sound raw, primal. your eyes fluttered up to meet his, but before you could speak, he was kissing you again—hard, possessive, a growl rumbling low in his chest as he claimed your mouth.

“is this what you wanted?” jake rasped, his breath hot against your lips, his voice ragged with lust. “you imagined this, didn’t you? me fucking you like i own you? god, i’ve thought about it too—dreamed of fucking you like this.”

“jake—fuck, slow down—” your words were cut off, another moan tearing through you as he yanked your leg up, hooking it over his shoulder. the angle was brutal, every thrust hitting deeper, your body struggling to keep up with the overwhelming pleasure. you scrambled, hands searching for something to grip, something to keep you grounded.

“running from me?” jake sneered, a wicked grin curling at the edges of his lips as he watched you try to hold on. “you can’t. not now. not ever.” his grip on your hips tightened, dragging you back onto his cock, shoving your chest down against the couch. he was in complete control, and it left you shaking, the pressure against your cervix unbearable as your fingers dug into the cushions.

jake’s pace was relentless, his hips slamming into your ass, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. “fuck, you take me so well,” he groaned, his hands tightening around your waist, pulling you closer, deeper. “what’s it gonna be like when i’m in heat? fuck, i’m gonna ruin you… fill you with my pups.”

your body trembled beneath him, the words barely registering as you lost yourself to the sensation of him fucking you harder, faster. your moans were incoherent, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge. “stop—fuck, jake, i—” the words fell apart as the pleasure hit you like a wave, your body shaking as your orgasm tore through you, soaking his cock, the couch beneath you drenched.

jake groaned, his head falling back as he felt you come apart around him. “shit… you’re soaking me,” he panted, but he didn’t stop. he didn’t let up for even a second.

with a rough jerk, he pulled you up, flipping you onto your knees, positioning himself behind you as he slammed into you again, animalistic in his movements. the couch rocked beneath you both, each brutal thrust pushing it closer to the edge of the room. jake was strong, his body unyielding, relentless, every inch of him driving into you with a force that had you gasping, your hands barely managing to hold on.

“tell me,” he growled, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice dripping with desperation. “tell me how good i feel inside you. fuck, tell me.”

you tried to form the words, tried to catch your breath, but the pleasure was overwhelming. your voice cracked as you choked out, “fuck, jake… your cock feels so fucking good. so fucking deep.”

his groan was deep, guttural, his hips snapping forward harder, deeper, filling you completely. “oh, fuck,” he panted, his body trembling as he lost control, his thrusts becoming more frantic. “gonna pump you full again.”

the pressure was too much, the stretch of him inside you making your vision blur. his chest pressed against your back, his breath hot against your neck as he buried himself deep inside you.

“you hear that?” jake whimpered, voice shaky as he rutted into you. “hear how fucking wet you are? can’t wait to see my cum dripping out of you… shit.”

his hands were bruising on your hips, dragging you back onto his cock, fucking you into the couch, each thrust harder, more desperate. the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room, drowning out your ragged breaths as he pushed you closer and closer to the brink. your walls clenched around him, your body trembling as he filled you, stretching you wide.

“fuck… i don’t wanna pull out,” jake gasped, his head falling against your shoulder, breath coming in short, ragged bursts. “i can’t… i’m gonna come. fuck, i’m gonna come.”

his hips stuttered, his body shaking as he thrust deep, cock twitching as he came with a low, broken moan. the warmth of his release filled you, spilling out of you, but he didn’t stop. his cock stayed hard, still buried deep inside you, his fingers digging into your hips as his orgasm dragged on, more intense than he’d expected.

“i can’t stop,” jake whimpered, his voice wrecked. “fuck, i can’t stop cumming.”

as you gasped for breath, you heard sunghoon’s footsteps approach. slow, deliberate, the sound sending a jolt through your already trembling body. he knelt in front of you, eyes dark, watching you with a look that made your pulse race.

“look at you,” sunghoon muttered, his voice low, full of possession as he stroked his cock, eyes fixed on yours. “both of you… exactly how i wanted.”

sunghoon kneeled, his fingers firm and warm as they tilted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. there was a softness in his gaze for a split second, just long enough to make your heart ache. but the possessiveness was still there, locked deep in his dark eyes. his lips curled into a knowing smirk, like he had orchestrated the whole thing. without saying a word, he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours, slow, deliberate, taking his time like he had all the control in the world.

this wasn’t like jake’s frantic need earlier. this was sunghoon’s way of reminding you who was really in charge, that even after everything, it was still his moment. he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, commanding, possessive. his grip on your thigh tightened just enough to make you gasp.

“you think jake’s done?” sunghoon whispered against your lips, voice low, dangerous, the promise clear. “we’re not even close to being done, baby.”

without any warning, he guided jake’s face toward yours, and before you could process it, jake was kissing you again—this time softer, his lips trembling. there was still that overwhelming need in him, but it was gentler, like he was trying to process what just happened.

but before you could sink into it, sunghoon’s mouth was back, pressing against both of you at once. the kiss was a messy tangle of tongues, gasps, desperate and chaotic, the heat between the three of you sparking back to life.

when sunghoon finally pulled away, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, that smug smirk still in place, his eyes gleaming with something darker. “you liked that, didn’t you?” he teased, his voice smooth, full of intent. it was like he always knew this was how it would go, the satisfaction in his tone unmistakable.

jake’s breath came out shaky, his expression shifting, something raw and vulnerable flashing in his eyes. the cocky grin lingered, but it was tempered by uncertainty—like he didn’t know how to handle everything that just happened.

“fuck, i didn’t expect that,” jake admitted, raking a hand through his damp hair, still catching his breath. the air between you all felt charged, thick with the aftermath of everything, tension buzzing beneath his skin.

sunghoon’s smirk deepened as he let his hand slide down your body, fingers tracing over your skin possessively. “didn’t stop you, though,” he shot back, his voice dripping with mischief, daring jake to admit the truth. his eyes flicked between the two of you, satisfaction burning bright.

jake laughed breathlessly, shaking his head. “nah,” he muttered, voice dropping, something heavier settling in as he glanced down at you, still inside you, cock twitching. “i kinda liked it.”

sunghoon chuckled, leaning closer, his hand gripping jake’s shoulder firmly, the gesture somewhere between approval and a challenge. “we’re not done yet, are we?” his voice was smooth, full of promise, daring jake to take it further. the tension between them was almost palpable, electric.

“no,” jake whispered, his voice thick, needy. “we’re just getting started.”

with a low groan, jake tightened his grip on your waist and flipped onto his back, keeping you firmly in place on top of him. the sudden shift made you gasp, the stretch of his cock deep inside you making your head spin. the new angle amplified everything, the heat between you both unbearable, his hands roaming your skin with renewed urgency.

sunghoon’s breath caught, his attention locked on where your bodies were joined, his gaze darkening. his fingers found your clit, circling it with a firm, precise pressure that made your whole body tense. “look at you,” he growled, voice thick with lust. “falling apart for him. but it’s not enough, is it?” his lips brushed against your ear, sending a shiver through you. “i wanna feel it too. i want you to drown him.”

your body arched at his words, jake’s cock throbbing inside you as he started to move again, each slow thrust pushing you closer to the edge. sunghoon’s fingers worked your clit with an intensity that made you tremble, your mind spinning from the overload of sensations.

“you’re gonna come again, aren’t you?” sunghoon whispered, his voice full of control, dripping with lust.

you tried to respond, but all that came out was a breathless moan. the tension in your body was unbearable, every nerve on fire as jake’s slow, deliberate thrusts tore gasps from your lips.

“fuck—i can’t, i—” you stammered, your voice breaking as your body shook, on the verge of losing it. the pleasure coiled tight in your belly, ready to snap.

and then sunghoon leaned down, his mouth hot against your clit, sucking hard.

you jerked, a sharp cry tearing from your throat as the pleasure crashed over you, too much, too fast. your walls clenched hard around jake, and he groaned beneath you, hips still moving, thrusting deep as you came undone around him.

“shit,” jake gasped, his voice wrecked. “y/n, you’re gonna make me lose it.”

sunghoon didn’t let up, his tongue working you, fingers digging into your thighs, keeping you pinned in place while jake fucked you through the overwhelming pleasure. you were barely holding on, the intensity too much to process.

“gonna come again for us?” sunghoon growled, his voice dark, full of promise.

your body was trembling uncontrollably, your vision blurring from the overload. “yes,” you whimpered, voice barely a whisper.

“then do it,” sunghoon commanded, his fingers tightening. “i want to see you soak him again.”

with that, you shattered, another orgasm tearing through you, your body convulsing as you came hard around jake. your walls clenched tight, milking him, dragging a groan from deep in his throat.

“fuck,” jake whimpered, his grip on your hips tight as he held on, barely able to control himself. “i need more…”

you were trembling, barely able to catch your breath, but sunghoon wasn’t done. his eyes flickered with something darker, something more possessive. his grip on you tightened, and you knew this was far from over.

sunghoon’s grip on your waist didn’t waver as his hand slid down to the base of jake’s cock, right where your bodies were joined. the pressure of his fingers sent shivers through you, teasing, making the ache between your legs deepen. his eyes were locked on yours, a dark hunger simmering beneath the surface.

“you can take more, can’t you?” he asked, voice low, daring. his thumb brushed your clit again, making you jolt. “i want you so full you can’t even think straight.”

you nodded, lips trembling, body already wrecked from the intensity, but craving more. “yes,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “i need it.”

with a satisfied smirk, sunghoon pressed his cock against your soaked entrance, teasing you, testing your limits. “you’re gonna feel both of us, baby,” he growled, his voice dripping with lust. “i’m gonna stretch you open even more.”

your breath hitched as you felt the head of his cock press into you, the stretch already overwhelming. jake groaned beneath you, his hands gripping your hips tighter, holding you steady.

“holy shit,” jake muttered, his voice wrecked, his cock twitching inside you. “she’s so fucking tight.”

sunghoon pushed deeper, slow, deliberate, his breath coming out in shaky gasps as he stretched you further. the pressure was unbearable, your body trembling from how full you were. you couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe—everything was focused on the sensation of both of them inside you, filling you completely.

“fuck, hoon,” you whimpered, voice cracking from the intensity. “you’re so deep… i don’t think i can—”

“you can,” sunghoon growled, his hands gripping your waist tighter. “you’re gonna take both of us, baby. you can handle it.”

jake’s head fell back, a guttural moan escaping his lips as sunghoon thrust deeper, the sensation of both cocks stretching you making you dizzy. his eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed, the pleasure too much for him to handle.

“she’s so fucking tight,” jake repeated, voice trembling. “i don’t think i’m gonna last.”

sunghoon chuckled darkly, his thrusts slow but unrelenting as he pushed himself deeper inside you. “don’t come yet,” he commanded, his voice low, full of control. “i’m not done with her.”

the sensation of both of them inside you, moving together, was overwhelming. your body shook with every thrust, your mind spiraling from the intensity. you were stretched so wide, every nerve in your body on fire, pleasure mixing with pain in a way that left you gasping, moaning uncontrollably.

“fuck,” you cried out, your voice wrecked, your body trembling. “i can’t… i can’t take it—”

“yes, you can,” sunghoon growled, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned in closer, his body pressed tight against yours. “you’re doing so fucking well, baby. just a little more.”

jake’s hands tightened on your hips, his hips stuttering beneath you as he tried to hold back. “hoon… fuck… i don’t know how much longer i can—”

“you better hold it,” sunghoon snapped, his voice sharp, commanding. “i want her to come again before you even think about finishing.”

his words sent a shiver through you, the pressure in your belly coiling tighter, ready to snap. jake’s cock twitched inside you, his breath coming out in ragged pants as he struggled to keep control.

sunghoon’s hand slid down between your legs, his fingers finding your clit again, rubbing slow, teasing circles that made you jerk, your body trembling from the overload. “i wanna feel you come again,” he whispered, his voice low, dark. “i wanna feel you lose it with both of us inside you.”

you whimpered, body shaking, your walls clenching tight around them as the pleasure built higher, threatening to tear you apart. “i’m so close,” you gasped, your breath coming out in desperate pants. “please, don’t stop…”

“that’s it, baby,” sunghoon murmured, his fingers circling faster, his cock thrusting deep inside you. “come for us. let go.”

with one final thrust, the coil snapped, and your orgasm crashed over you, violent and intense. your whole body tensed, every muscle shaking as the pleasure tore through you. your walls clenched hard around both of them, squeezing tight, milking their cocks as you came, a scream tearing from your throat.

“fuck,” jake groaned, his hips jerking uncontrollably as your body milked him, pulling him closer to the edge. “y/n, you’re gonna make me—”

“not yet,” sunghoon growled, his grip on your waist unrelenting as he continued to thrust into you, his fingers still rubbing your clit, drawing out every last bit of pleasure. “i want you to feel everything.”

you were trembling, barely able to catch your breath, the intensity too much to process. the sensation of being filled, stretched so wide by both of them—it was overwhelming, your body wrecked, completely at their mercy.

“sunghoon, i can’t… it’s too much,” you gasped, your voice shaking as your body trembled beneath him.

sunghoon’s chuckle was low, dark, full of satisfaction. “you can take it,” he murmured, his voice dripping with control. “please, baby. just one more.”

jake’s breath hitched, his body trembling beneath you, his hands gripping your hips tight as he struggled to hold back. “hoon… i can’t…”

“then fucking come,” sunghoon growled, his voice sharp, commanding. “fill her up, jake. i wanna see you wreck her.”

and with that, jake’s control snapped. his hips jerked forward, his cock pulsing deep inside you as he came with a broken moan, spilling inside you, his release mixing with the mess of your own. you could feel every twitch, every pulse of him inside you, the heat flooding you as he groaned your name, his voice wrecked, desperate.

sunghoon wasn’t far behind, his thrusts becoming erratic, rough, as he chased his own release. his grip on your waist tightened, his breath coming out in shaky gasps as he thrust deep one final time, his cock twitching as he came inside you, filling you completely.

“fuck,” sunghoon groaned, his voice low, wrecked, as he collapsed against you, his breath hot against your neck. his hands slid down your body, possessive, keeping you pinned between them as they both came down from the high.

the room was quiet now, save for the sound of heavy breathing, the aftermath of what just happened settling in. your body was trembling, completely wrecked, but the satisfaction in the air was palpable.

sunghoon’s hand slid up to your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he tilted your head to meet his gaze. his eyes were softer now, the intensity from before replaced with something deeper, something that made your heart ache. he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips, the contrast from before almost startling.

“you did so fucking well,” sunghoon whispered, his voice hushed, full of pride and affection. “perfect.”

you smiled weakly, still trying to catch your breath, your body trembling from the aftershocks. “i didn’t think… i could handle it,” you whispered, your voice cracking, laced with exhaustion but content. “but… i’m so glad we did.”

jake let out a breathless laugh, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pressed his lips to your shoulder. “none of us are forgetting this,” he muttered, his voice soft, full of affection.

sunghoon chuckled, a quiet, satisfied sound, as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. “no, we’re not.”

sunghoon’s hand slid possessively over your waist as the three of you lay there, tangled in each other, the weight of what just happened settling in like a calm after the storm. everything felt still for a moment, like the world had finally stopped spinning, and for the first time in hours, you could catch your breath. the silence was thick, not with tension, but with something more—something that made your chest tighten in the best way.

sunghoon’s voice broke through the quiet, softer than you’d ever heard him. “i love you,” he murmured, his hand tightening slightly on your waist as his body pressed closer to yours. his presence was grounding, steady, and though he was still buried deep inside you, it was the sincerity of his words that hit you the hardest.

you swallowed, your heart pounding in your chest as you whispered back, “i love you too.” your voice shook a little, the emotion overwhelming, the weight of those words feeling more intense than anything else that had happened between the three of you.

jake, still wrapped around you, let out a lazy groan, his lips brushing a kiss against your shoulder. “oh, great,” he mumbled, his voice rough but amused, “now it’s a fucking lovefest.” he let out a tired laugh, but the warmth in his tone softened the edge.

you chuckled, your body relaxing as you turned slightly to glance over your shoulder at him. “what, no ‘i love you’ from you, jake?” you teased, nudging him lightly, the playful tone breaking through the heaviness of the moment.

jake rolled his eyes, though the grin tugging at his lips was genuine. “fine, fine,” he muttered, his hand lazily tracing patterns on your skin. “i love you, too. but you two are so fucking sappy sometimes, i swear.”

sunghoon smirked from behind you, his grip on your waist tightening as he shot jake a knowing look. “at least we’re not afraid to say it,” he teased, his tone light but carrying that familiar intensity that made your pulse quicken.

and then you remembered their kiss—the one that had caught you off guard earlier. it had been brief, a heated moment in the chaos, but it lingered in your mind like a brand. the memory of it made you grin, and you couldn’t help but speak up. “you know,” you began, glancing between the two of them, “that kiss you shared earlier was hot. you don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen.”

both jake and sunghoon froze, their eyes flicking toward each other for a split second before darting away. jake cleared his throat awkwardly, clearly caught off guard. “yeah, well… that was just… in the moment,” he muttered, his usual bravado faltering for once.

sunghoon’s lips twitched into a smirk, though you could see the faintest hint of color creeping up his neck. “exactly,” he added, trying to sound indifferent, but the look in his eyes gave him away. he wasn’t as unaffected as he was pretending to be.

you raised an eyebrow, amused. “doesn’t have to be just in the moment,” you teased, your voice light, but with a hint of suggestion. “it could happen again. if you wanted.”

the suggestion hung in the air like a challenge, and for a second, neither of them responded. they exchanged a quick glance, something unspoken passing between them, but neither of them said anything. jake let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “let’s not make this a regular thing,” he said, though his voice lacked the conviction it usually carried.

sunghoon’s smirk widened, his eyes flicking back to jake with a gleam of amusement. “we’ll see,” he murmured, teasing, though there was something deeper in his gaze that made your stomach flip.

you laughed softly, the tension easing as the three of you fell into a more comfortable silence. jake, still pressed against you, let out a long, contented sigh, his chuckle vibrating against your skin. “we’re gonna need a bigger bed,” he muttered, his grin wide.

sunghoon chuckled, shaking his head as he adjusted himself behind you, his hand lazily stroking your side. “yeah,” he agreed, his voice warm. “definitely.”

eventually, they both pulled out, their collective groans a mixture of exhaustion and relief as the sudden emptiness made your body ache. you felt their cum slowly drip from between your legs, soaking the couch beneath you, and you couldn’t help but groan, utterly spent and too tired to care about the mess.

jake’s eyes lingered on you, his gaze locked on the sight of their release spilling from you. without a word, he leaned down, pressing his mouth to your inner thigh, his tongue darting out to lap up the cum dripping from you. the sensation sent a shiver through your overstimulated body, and despite the exhaustion, you moaned softly, your head tilting back.

“fuck, you taste so good,” jake muttered against your skin, his voice low and husky as his tongue moved slowly, savoring the taste. each slow, deliberate lick was intimate, almost reverent, and you couldn’t help but tremble beneath him.

meanwhile, sunghoon had gotten up and headed into the kitchen, completely at ease with his nakedness as if the last few hours hadn’t just happened. you could hear him rummaging around, and soon the familiar smell of coffee filled the air. it was almost ridiculous—the three of you, naked and exhausted, while sunghoon made coffee—but it made you smile, a sense of normalcy returning to the moment.

“you doing okay over there?” sunghoon called from the kitchen, his voice casual but laced with warmth.

“yeah,” you managed, your voice hoarse from all the moaning and screaming. “just… exhausted.”

jake, now satisfied after cleaning you up with his tongue, sat back with a smirk, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. he looked at sunghoon, almost like he was seeking some sort of approval. “hey,” he said, his tone softening, “i love you too, you know.”

sunghoon paused in the kitchen, his back to both of you, the words hanging in the air. for a moment, you weren’t sure how he’d react. but then, he let out a soft laugh, turning to face you both with that familiar smirk. “i don’t even care at this point,” he said, his voice light but full of something deeper.

he walked back over with two cups of coffee, handing one to you before settling beside you, his hand resting lazily on your thigh. “i guess we’re doing this, huh?” he added, his gaze flicking between you and jake.

jake grinned, the playful spark back in his eyes. “does this mean we’re boyfriends too?” he asked, his tone teasing but with an edge of sincerity.

sunghoon nearly choked on his coffee, laughing so hard he had to set the cup down. “what the fuck, jake?” he wheezed, shaking his head. “no, man, that’s not how this works.”

jake shrugged, clearly enjoying the moment. “just checking,” he said with a grin.

sunghoon rolled his eyes, his smirk softening into something more affectionate. “we’re both hers,” he said quietly, his gaze locking with yours. “this is about her.”

jake’s grin softened, his voice dropping. “yeah,” he agreed, his hand sliding up your arm. “we’re yours.”

you couldn’t help but smile, the warmth between the three of you filling the room as you leaned back into jake’s chest, his arms wrapping around you protectively. it was messy, complicated, but it felt right.

and then your phone buzzed, the sound vibrating against the floor where it had been tossed earlier. jake’s eyes darted to it, his brow furrowing in confusion as he leaned over to grab it. “who the hell is calling you right now?” he muttered, holding up the phone with a grin. “oh shit, it’s jay.”

before you could react, the phone buzzed again, this time with a text.

jay: you guys done?

your heart skipped a beat. had jay… been outside this whole time?

“shit,” you mumbled, grabbing the phone from jake’s hand and staring at the message in disbelief.

“they’ve been outside?” you asked, glancing between jake and sunghoon, your voice a mixture of shock and horror.

jake just shrugged, clearly amused. “guess so. we were kind of loud.”

before you could say anything, another message popped up.

jay: jungwon’s about to lose his mind. we’ve been waiting forever. hurry the fuck up.

you groaned, the weight of embarrassment settling in as the reality hit you. “oh my god… they heard everything,” you muttered, your face heating up. the idea of jungwon and jay listening to… all of it… was enough to make you want to melt into the floor.

jake, the troublemaker he was, didn’t seem to care. with a devilish grin, he hit the call button, putting jay on speaker. “yo,” jake greeted, voice full of amusement, “sorry, we were a little tied up.”

jay’s voice crackled through, his sarcasm evident. “oh, we heard. trust me, we heard everything. jungwon’s about to explode. he’s… well, let’s just say he wasn’t thrilled with being left out of whatever you guys had going on.”

“jungwon’s really pissed?” you asked, glancing at jake and sunghoon, a mix of guilt and amusement creeping into your tone.

“you could say that,” jay replied, the teasing lilt in his voice doing nothing to hide the truth. “let’s just say it wasn’t his favorite way to spend the last hour.”

sunghoon chuckled low from beside you, clearly entertained by the situation. “we should probably let them in before jungwon breaks the door down,” he murmured, his hand lazily trailing over your waist.

jake, still grinning, leaned in closer to the phone. “come on, jay. you guys were out there for what, an hour? you could’ve knocked if it bothered him that much.”

jay snorted. “yeah, right. like we were gonna knock on the door mid-orgy. jungwon’s not exactly a fan of being the guy on the outside looking in, if you know what i mean.”

you covered your face, completely mortified but unable to stop the small laugh that escaped you. “fine, fine,” you groaned, shaking your head as you reached for the door. “you guys can come in. but don’t expect me to apologize for this.”

“oh, you’re definitely making this up to us,” jay replied, his voice filled with playful threat. “especially to jungwon. he’s got some things to say.”

i read through this... and i don't know not sure how i feel about the usage of many words, i hope it didn't ruin the story but let me know if there is any way i can improve my writing!

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Epilogue: Dear Lord When I Get To Heaven Please Let Me Bring My Man (p. sh, l. hs)

banner credit: @simpjaes🩷

pairing. step-brother sunghoon x female reader x step-brother heeseung

genre. I Would Give Up Heaven If I Had To.. AU, pwp, M/F, heavy on the angst in this one, fluff💀

warnings. morally grey characterizations(mostly Sunghoon), profanity, toxicity, sibling rivalry, mommy issues, daddy issues, anxiety/depression, Phantom of The Opera references, death, time jumps, pregnancy, no smut warnings *gasp*. minors DNI.

wc. 16.8k+

now playing. Young & Beautiful//Lana Del Rey

for @ncdeeh, the biggest fan of this series out there🖤

———————————-

Germany. 

It feels like a movie when you arrive and get off of the train. Smoke blows around, different accents sing through the air, and your breath visibly shudders in front of your face.

Heeseung’s cheeks deepen with color, he insists on carrying your bags. He knows you’re still in some state of shock, too stunned by everything that has unraveled in the last 48 hours.

“The hotel my dad booked us isn’t too far from here, I’ll order a cab for us.” He nods, directing you to follow him.

Innate instinct takes over, it’s time for him to be a man. To embody the role his father has the past few years of his life. He needs to serve and protect you now, because would you really be running off if not for him? Is he not partially to be blamed for drastically altering your life?

“We’ll only be here for a couple of weeks, then we can head back to France if you want. My dad said he’d cover everything.” Heeseung is really trying to make this as easy as possible for you. Maybe he’s feeling more guilty than he anticipated, especially after seeing your solemn expression.

“Yesterday was so fucked up.” You barely mutter, throwing yourself onto the hotel bed. “Can’t believe I did that.”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” In fact, he’d prefer not to… 

“I feel like such an awful person right now.”

You shouldn’t, given Sunghoon’s track record but this isn’t you. You would never go out of your way to use your body to manipulate and hurt someone this way..

“Don’t worry about it, alright? You don’t need to worry about me forgiving you. It’s like it never happened.” Heeseung grabs a hold of your hand, smiling softly. “Today’s a new day.”

Worry about forgiveness? Forgiveness for what. You contemplate asking, opening your mouth only to receive a gentle kiss. His lips pressed to yours with a tinge of fear. He’s afraid, probably as scared as you are.

“We need to talk Hee,” you shove at his shoulder, sitting back up. “About your mom, Jian, even Miyeon.. I don’t know, I feel so unsettled.”

“Whatever you want to know, I’m an open book for you.”

And you talked, for hours and hours. Ordered room service as you paced around the hotel room and delved deeper into his life. Picking up the small hints and marks of Sunghoon scattered throughout each memory and story. Late into the night you wore each other down to an empty bottle once full of emotions.

Heeseung cried, told you everything. How his mother offered him his first drink. He fought tooth and nail to make her stay home, to stop entering the local bars and waste her life away. She was never the same after the divorce, never explaining to him why or how it happened. She couldn’t after some time, couldn’t speak more than slurred speech, could barely keep her eyes open for longer than a few hours.

“My brother was jealous of that.” He nods, interlocking his fingers. “He has no idea that I was living through my own personal hell. I was living with a fragment of who my mother once was, by the end.. that wasn’t her. She would call me by my dad’s name a lot, yell at me, throw all types of insults at me.”

The more you listened, the more your heart broke. Sunghoon had no one, and Heeseung didn’t either. They could have at least had each other..

“My grandparents were too old, tired. Grandma was showing signs of early dementia and grandpa could hardly walk without hurting himself.” Heavy pain laces his tone, blinking back tears without looking at you. Not wanting to see the pity or hurt on your face for him. “Mom died in my arms, at the hospital. I didn’t want it to be real, sometimes the memory hits me out of nowhere and I feel so empty. I feel as useless as my dad says I am.”

There’s nothing to be said after he spills his soul wide open for you. Everything makes sense, the jealousy between him and Sunghoon. The unspoken truth that neither of them could even begin to see past their blind hatred for each other. 

“He’s right, I should have done more.” Heeseung trembles, failing to fight his tears any longer. They roll down to his chin, shaking off with the chatter of his teeth. “I should have helped her somehow.”

“You were a kid.” You try to help, knowing this is above your capabilities. You hold him, clean his tears, scratch through his scalp, and he lets it all out. Every fear, every thought that plagues hik, the root of his pain that started the day his parents tore apart their family. 

“I wanted to be above this, try to have a normal life when I moved back home to live with my dad.” He sighs, sinking deeper into your hold. “He hates me. Maybe I remind him too much of her.”

Even the richest of rich shouldn’t always have kids, even if they are more than able to afford to. Mr. Park clearly had a detachment from his sons, most especially Heeseung..

“I told you, he wanted me to ask Miyeon out first. I don’t know why Sunghoon took that bullet for me. I kind of hoped that it was because he doesn’t hate me, but after this..”

“I think if he knew everything, he would have never put you through all of this again Hee. Not that he deserves an excuse, but I want to believe your brother isn’t actually as evil as he wants us to perceive.”

“I hope he’s not.” Heeseung stares off into the void, sniffling. “If only because I still feel bad, that he grew up without us. Especially after living with my dad again, he’s such an emotionless prick.. it’s no wonder my brother always made fun of me when I’d cry. Moving back home without my mom was hard for me. I felt like a stranger in my own house, as if I didn’t belong there.”

Nothing can excuse Sunghoon’s behavior and actions of course, even if you questioned everyday what his experience was living alone with Mr. Park throughout his primitive years. How did all of that time without a motherly figure alter his life? The way he thinks? That stone cold heart of his you’d come to know. 

How could the two of them be so different and yet the same. Heeseung who handled his feelings by expressing his emotion and pain, never scared to shed a tear. Who would lay his head on your lap and kindly ask you to hold him, to stroke his hair the way his mother used to. Who walks around with the open wound in his heart proudly displayed.

Sunghoon, for the little amount of time you had him in your life, he couldn’t do the same. Couldn’t bring himself to open up, to tell you how he really feels. He held back, masked his feelings with anger and harshness; a shield, really. He needed someone to be there for him, to help him understand himself..

And as you lived your life and settle into your loft in Paris, you slowly let those thoughts get to you. Each day he crossed your mind, and you shoved those thoughts down deeper, kicking dirt over the growing pile to keep them buried alive. You could not feel guilty nor sorry for him, or you’d break.

Many nights came and went by staring at his name in your list of contacts, blocked by his brother the day you got on a train to get away from him. You knew that reaching out to him would only lead to your demise, because maybe when Heeseung kisses you, you shut your eyes and can taste Sunghoon’s lips.

Maybe you have to bite down on your tongue to not moan his name. Maybe when you’re extra tired, you swear that your boyfriend resembles him too much, that you can almost picture him being the one walking through the front door of your loft. 

Maybe you can’t stop yourself from imagining the other side of the coin, how everything could have gone if you had given Sunghoon a chance.

And despite how perfect your relationship has been, you can’t ward away those curiosities. Can’t fight your mind when you shut your eyes and begin to count the different beauty marks dotted around Sunghoon’s face. 

You try to ignore those thoughts, to replace them with only new memories of Heeseung, but maybe you give up one day.

Maybe you allow the fantasy of what could have been to infiltrate your head, and maybe you enjoy it more than you are willing to admit.

———————————-

~one year later~

Three hundred and sixty-five days to be exact. But who’s keeping count? 

Sunghoon is. He bought a physical calendar at the airport before flying back home with your mother and father. 

That flight had really been excruciating for him. The one upside is that the seats next to him were originally reserved for you and his brother. He could at least wallow in his misery alone. 

And he did, for a few hours at first. The long flight home spanned for over half of a day and time ticked by more slowly than usual. He tried to read, paid for the wifi to use and distracted himself with some games, browsed through the movies the airline had to offer. Nothing could stop his mind from racing, stuck in the idea of you.

Because that’s all this was right? The idea of you.

That idea that you could fix him, because maybe that’s what he wants. He wants to be fixed. Sunghoon knows all of his social problems, his dad didn’t pay for an overpriced therapist for nothing. After the divorce, he hadn’t handled the situation so great. 

Mr. Park had never wanted to be a father, he was very successful straight out of university after earning his degree rather fast thanks to his own father’s name. Generational wealth had done its due diligence to breeze him through the educational system. The last thing he wanted was to share the money consistently expanding in his bank account with children and a wife. Not when he was having a blast playboying around from country to country on private jets, schmoozed and bribed with free luxury alcohol, grand dining experiences only ever allowed for the wealthy and famous.

His father, Sunghoon’s grandfather, had other plans in mind for him. That's where his mother came in. She was an intern at his grandfather’s company, a girl with a squeaky clean reputation. He set them up on a date, insisting that his son lock in a wife before he cut him out of his will. Growing tired and furious with each new headline of his son out and about partying with celebrities.

It was time for him to get serious. That's business, investors would take him more seriously as a family man as opposed to some messy international playboy. 

So, he got married. 

Was he in love? No, absolutely not. But then along came the birth of first son Heeseung and he had no choice but to accept his title as a wed father. This was his new life.

A miserable life of work, countless business trips, screaming baby cries keeping him up all throughout the night, and a nagging wife constantly accusing him of cheating. 

Things were bleak compared to his world only a year prior, and then Sunghoon came along and everything only seemed to grow worse with time.

The boys—his boys, had no way of knowing and understanding their parents' unhappy marriage. They were given every toy, playset, console, and every shiny new expensive device on the market without question. 

Sunghoon had always been closer to his mother given his father’s packed schedule. He loved her, always lit up and giggled when she’d pick him up from school and ask about his day. He can still remember the scent of her perfume, soft and sweet like a batch of fresh cookies. Her loving hands would pinch his cheeks, hoist him up onto her hip until he became too large to do so.

They’d chat for hours into the evening after school, all about his day, what activities he did in class. Any new friends he made, helping him to complete his homework. Heeseung would usually whine for dinner first, rubbing his stomach with big eyes directed at their mother. She really really never failed to show them how much she loved them both.

That’s what hurt and confused him the most for years after the last time he saw her. His father dragged him away from her at the airport, and he kicked, he screamed, he cried and threw a tantrum. 

‘That is enough Sunghoon.’ His dad said to him firmly, gripping his shoulders and standing him back onto his feet. ‘No son of mine will embarrass this way.’

He was a kid, not even a teenager yet. Dealing with an explosion of raging hormones while losing his mom and brother. None of it seemed fair, and he cried, he cried for months, for over a year. Screamed at by his father in return, the only parent he had left to care for him. He would throw money at Sunghoon, tell him to wipe his face and go buy himself something to cheer up. That was always his answer to dealing with his overly emotional distressed son.

He tried to keep in touch with Heeseung, but his dad forbade it. Didn’t want him to be influenced by his siblings' new life or manipulated by whatever false narratives his mother would be likely to create. 

After a good year of dropping his grades, teachers contacting his father full of concern, and a son that barely opened his mouth to speak, Mr. Park slid a pamphlet across the dinner table.

‘Therapy, son.’ He cleared his throat, setting down his fork to sip his glass of wine. ‘It’s high time you grow up and become a man. No son of mine will enter high school with below average grades. I have expectations of you.’

Therapy. That was his father’s next plan to fix his broken heart. To grant him emotional relief of all his pain. 

It helped, at first, to understand why he feels what he feels. Why he acts out the way he does, why he hurts so deeply, why he can’t fathom having hope.

It worked until it didn’t. 

Maybe Sunghoon had reached a certain point of maturity that snapped his mind out of his misery. Maybe he never let it go, maybe it became a part of him. One with his misery, embracing it and not allowing it to ruin his life anymore.

‘I don’t think I need this anymore.’ He told his therapist after two years with a thin smile on his face. 

He tried to talk him out of canceling his future sessions, tried to explain that this was more beneficial for him than he realized but Sunghoon had opted for another form of therapy. 

Years of being spoiled instead of nurtured and loved by his parents led him to sports. He took up weight training. Started to see his arms build muscle, the lines in his stomach grow deeper, his stamina strengthened. 

His depressed thoughts lessened by the dayc more focused on how built and lean he could get. Visiting a trainer and nutritionist to change up his diet to nothing but protein to make him stronger, bigger, more intimidating.

His dad couldn’t call him weak anymore. In fact, Sunghoon hasn’t cried a day ever since he cut off his therapist. That damn croc of shit tried to get him on a prozac prescription, often spoke of stronger antidepressants.

He didn’t need any of that bullshit.

No.

Sunghoon knows exactly what he needs. 

Three hundred and sixty-five days and he hasn’t missed one gym session. It’s the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. Craves the burn in his muscle, the pain and soreness he experiences after. He needs to lick off the sweat that lines his upper lip, shake off any before it can reach his eyes and clump his dark eyelashes together. 

He’s been working out like a maniac ever since that fucking family vacation. Spending countless hours in the basement gym his father and your mom never step foot inside of. They’re hardly ever home anyway, too busy frolicking around traveling the world in luxury.

He can’t complain, except for days such as today when he enters the kitchen to make himself a protein shake and his step-mother beams the largest smile at him.

“Sunghoon! Come say hi!”

“Oh mom, no please, I really have to go. I’ll be late for class!” The line cuts immediately after before he can even answer your mother.

It’s always the same, you always have to go. You’re busy, your connections bad, you have plans with Heeseung. 

“Aw shoot.” Your mom sighs, closing her ipad. “Next time.” She gives him a wary smile on her way out of the kitchen. 

There is no next time, you’ve successfully avoided him for a fucking year now. His brother never contacts him, the texts he tried to send you bounce back, his phone calls never go through. He tried at first to contact you somehow, emails, embarrassing phone calls attempted in the middle of the night when he knew you’d be awake given the time difference. Even fucking carrier pigeon would be a useless option.

You obviously want nothing to do with him. Both of your parents are too oblivious to understand the amount of effort his own fucking brother has made to avoid speaking with him. How neither if you ever ask about him, how he’s been, if he’s healthy.

Sometimes it hurts when he allows his mind to drift deep enough into those thoughts. That’s when he really takes it out on the gym punching bag. Lunging his shoulder so hard into it one day that he had to wear a sling for the rest of the week. 

It’s times like this he wishes he could be anywhere but here. That he could get away and go back to a safe place that felt more like home than whatever this bullshit is. Days like this stir up old memories of his mother, how she would cradle him and read him bedtime stories. How she carefully held his hand while grocery shopping even though she had to bend at her waist to do so and strain her back.

How he never got to say goodbye to her. Has never even visited her grave. He never got answers, how could she so easily abandon one of her kids. Maybe she never loved him..

And now he asks himself different questions, about another woman he thought, perhaps even hoped, could love him. Was he a fool to believe that you might actually have feelings for him? Fuck if you didn’t play with his emotions and mess with his head enough.

He let you, he let you dog walk him like a fucking idiot. It hurts of course, especially when he’s laid in bed and can’t sleep a wink even after tiring himself out with some midnight cardio. He stares at the ceiling, ponders the time he spent with you. How much you changed and unraveled right before his eyes.

It’s not that he wants to have feelings for you. The truth is, he gave his father an ultimatum for the first time in his life. He’d finish school, collect his degree, and run whatever fucking sector his dad needed his face plastered across as the CEO. Young Sunghoon Park, the next generation of power. 

But he did not want to continue his fraudulent relationship with Miyeon any longer, he refused to fall down that same path his dad had. To grow old with someone who only stayed with him by force. 

Needless to say his father was disappointed, of course. The old man reprimanded him and argued about what a waste of time it’s been to build a relationship with Miyeon’s father to merge their companies. The real end goal was really to take down his competitors and buy them out, not merge shit. Sunghoon held his guard, he relented and stuck to his word.

He’d be his father’s working bitch, work harder than any asshole that graduated from Harvard and Yale, but the decision of his future wife would be his own. The one thing his dad could no longer have control over- the mother of his children, his partner, the woman he’d walk down the aisle towards.

He hadn’t thought too deeply on the matter until you came into his life and turned his world upside down. 

He never felt an emotional tie to Miyeon even when they began dating. They tried at first, too young to comprehend why they were being made to meet up at Dave N Busters with limitless funds to play games all night and order as many fries as they could manage to eat. She had let him know real quick that he simply wasn’t her type.

‘Pretty boys like you do nothing for me.’ 

And if he was being honest, she didn’t quite spark his desires despite her good looks and charm. They got along better as friends and made a pact to continue on with their relationship to keep their parents equally satisfied.

‘My father keeps dragging me to these business ventures to meet his colleagues' sons. I need my weekends back.’

Their agreement worked out great for both of them. Sunghoon would use those alleged dates with Miyeon to hit up parties and clubs. He started to gain a reputation around campus for having a great body and an insatiable need to fuck like a beast. With his dad remaining none the wiser to his weekend escapades, he felt as if life couldn’t get any better.

And then you came along. You showed up and gummed up the works. 

It’s hard to say if Heeseung really saw you first, not that he can stake claim off a look.. but Sunghoon knows that he wanted you first. It’s possible he had only planned to add you to the enormous growing list of girls he had conquered in just the past year. Maybe he just wanted to fuck you to say that he did. To soothe his raging ego with the knowledge that he can and will always get what he wants.

It was too easy really, you needed a tutor. And if Sunghoon knew how to do anything, it’s to pass a class with the highest scores and grades. He wasn’t valedictorian for nothing. Years of his father talking down to him about failing Physical Education of all classes after the split with his mother never allowed him to hit that low again. He studied and worked his ass off day and night to earn better grades, to be the teacher's favorite, to get a spot on the dean’s list.

Sunghoon hadn’t planned to keep fucking you. A few times maybe, for fun, to piss his dad off even if he never found out. But when he heard you inside of Heeseung’s bedroom..

When he saw the way the two of you looked at each other. When his older brother swept you away and off your feet cosplaying as some fucking humble prince to help you escape from an awkward first meeting with Miyeon; that—that pissed Sunghoon off.

Not Heeseung who also forgot about him for years, who got to live with the one parent they had that could give a fuck about either of them. That likely came home after school to home cooked meals. He’s sure their mother still brushed his hair even as a teenager. Still woke up the house on Sunday mornings loudly singing along to her favorite songs as a teenager. That motherfucker really had the audacity to portray himself as a saint in front of you.

And that truly made his blood boil. For a moment, no more than a few seconds.. he felt a tinge of jealousy.

Not only did Heeseung get to have their mother’s love in the end, but he was also going to have you.

Call him a monster for reacting the way that he did, but seeing his brother happy for the first time since he’d moved back in with their father; that made his blood pressure spike. 

Why should Heeseung have it so fucking easy?! Why does everything work out for him?? Sunghoon’s sick of it, he’s been sick of that waste of space moping around the house. Taking up time in the living room playing his stupid fucking video games, never even bothering to ask him if he’d want to join him.

Not that he would, never wanting to hold a conversation with that moron he’s forced to call his sibling. His feelings may have been superficial, greedy and childish.. at first, but maybe that’s why he never fucked a random hook-up more than a handful of times. He never permitted himself to grow attached, to release those emotions that could weaken him. He tried so hard to protect the vulnerable shattered boy that grew without love, that he nearly forgot he even once existed.

That’s why this has hurt more than anything he’s felt in years. Because he hasn’t been able to feel. He hasn’t poured anything from his cup in so long that just one splash spilling out was enough to leave him empty.

He finds himself alone in the gym again. Glancing around at everything he’s left in place. The way his equipment shines thanks to the maids that clean up around here. How his mini-fridge stays stocked with energy drinks and electrolytes without him being required to lift a finger.

Easy. Such an easy life. Why would he ever want to leave this? Why would anyone.

Would you have ran off to Germany if not for him? Would you have stayed with Heeseung all of this time if he had just let you be? Thousands of questions with no answer swarm his thoughts when he zones out deep enough. A good vigorous workout can typically cure that, grunting through the burning pain that shoots up his back and arms. 

Sweat pours and he twists side to side to spray the droplets away from his eyes. Too fearful of ever catching himself in the mirror again with any type of wetness rimmed so close to his iris. The one time he did had him dropping to his knees, scrubbing a small towel at his face until his skin turned an angry red and not one bit of sweat remained.

Crying is for weak little bitches like his older brother. Always crying to get his way instead of putting up a fight.

Hearing your voice today for only a few seconds, the line beeping when you ended the call.. the thought wrinkles his eyebrows, burns inside of his nostrils. Twitching his nose to make that feeling go away, that hallowing in his chest. Not even a year apart had softened you? These days of nothing, you weren’t at all curious?

Pain. Pain squeezed at his lungs. Subsiding it as over exerting himself by lifting weights that are too heavy. He drops them abruptly and goes to chug water. Dragging a towel across his forehead, leaving his hair sticking up in different directions. 

Heartless, a heartless girl with no compassion. Unless his brother had really manipulated you to act this way.. he had his suspicions. That Heeseung had fucked you up as much as himself.. took advantage of the sweet soul he’d come to know. Refusing to believe that what you shared had meant nothing..

It certainly hadn’t meant nothing to Sunghoon. He tried to fuck other girls, even went on dates and forced a smile on his face through each boring one. He couldn’t forget you, everything around him led back to the memory of you.

Perhaps even who he wanted you to be for him.. and time and time again he failed to convince himself that this was your choice. That you chose his brother..

There was just no way.

Sunghoon came to workout to get away from his mind. To shut you off for an hour or so. He can’t deal with this right now. Why did you mom have to be on a video call with you right now?!

Stomping over to the ipad, he scrolls through different playlists in search of something to blast the echo of your voice away. Something obnoxiously loud to drown out his mind.

He should have hit shuffle and gone back to his reps. The universe couldn’t taunt him any harder as your name shows up in bold letters on the screen, recommending him a playlist you must have saved on here when you’d use his gym.

He would have deleted it by now if he had noticed, and he should. He should tap the screen to remove your shitty playlist for good. But he doesn’t, he hits play instead and the room floods with your screamy tortured emo crap. This woe is me wah wah wah music that you and his brother bonded over. Teenage angst at it’s finest as some grown man wails through his sound system and his hands fall limp to his sides. It’s the same shit he’d hear coming from your now unlived in bedroom. The muffled guitar from your headphones. 

Why didn’t he just hit delete? Now he can’t stop his nostrils from flaring, his teeth gritting together, the tremble running down his forearms to his hands.

It’s been so long since Sunghoon last shed a tear. It happened last on that flight while he sat alone, about six hours up in the air. He put on some cheesy romcom movie to watch, fully expecting to fall asleep 10-15 minutes in. He should have chosen something else, of course he landed on some ridiculous movie with a love triangle plot.

‘I like you just the way you are.’

Sunghoon had to hit pause, fighting the tears filling up his eyes as he struggled to not blink. If he blinks, the one singular tear dangling near the corner will spill down his cheek. He’ll have shed an actual fucking tear. 

Stupid fucking Bridget Jones Diary, he’ll never watch this crap again! Instead he shut off the movie and dabbed away the tear that managed to get past his cold will. No one saw that happen anyway, only he has to know that some sappy romance film brought him to tears.

That won’t happen again. Except that when he landed and finally got home, took a shower and laid in bed; he couldn’t stop thinking about that dumb movie. Who did Bridget fucking pick?!? She couldn’t have chosen that asshole Daniel Cleaver..

Not after Mark Darcy told her he liked her embarrassing ass just the way she is. He threw a fit that night learning that there was 3 Goddamn movies he’d have to get through to find out who this woman ends up with. Not a wink of sleep was had that night as he sat at his computer and found streams of each one go watch in order from start to end.

Sunghoon.. Sunghoon couldn’t stop repeating that line. 

‘I like you just the way you are.’ What a load of shit..

Maybe his heart tightened and his pulse slowed down for a minute, everything on the plane went still, his ears popped, and he felt something he didn’t believe to be possible..

Love.

This has to be why girls watch this crap.. 

What he would give up to be liked just the way he is. That’s how you made him feel, accepted. You saw his darkness and still let him in. That cut him deeper than anything. Losing you to his brother hardly mattered compared to the thought that you accepted him, you liked him for exactly who he is without needing change..

“Stupid stupid stupid.” He slaps at his skull, crouching down by the speaker to tuck his chest into his knees and take shallow breaths. He chose to ignore these panic attacks and nights without sleep, lying to himself that he’s fine. He’s completely fine. That these unanswered questions and intrusive thoughts don’t consume him. That he doesn’t scream in the shower and punch at the tile out of anger, frustration and deep pain that he continues to shove down.

Taking a few minutes to shut off his kind and recuperate himself, he drags his weight up by gripping onto the speaker stand. Slamming his palm down to power off the machine before anymore of your playlist can shake the gym walls and stab the knife lodged in his chest even deeper.

He limps slowly to sit properly, patting around his sweats for his phone. Taking another minute to catch his breath he unlocks the device and searches through his contacts to make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Yeah.” He licks at his dried lips, rubbing his chest to help his breathing return to normal.

“Sunghoon? What’s going on?”

“Miyeon, I need to see you.”

———————————-

“You look like shit.” 

“Thanks.” Sunghoon opens the front door wide for Miyeon, ushering her in toward the living room. His parents aren’t home meaning he won’t have to deal with his father’s pestering questions or wishes of them getting back together. That’s not why she’s here.

Miyeon’s as pretty as ever, her hair shines and bounces as she walks. The scent of sweet cotton candy trails behind her, and her mini-skirt flicks up with each step she takes ahead of him. She’s beautiful, she always has been, and still he feels nothing for her.

“Alright, what was so urgent that you needed me to weasel my way out of the annual tennis finals at the country club? My dad’s not happy.” She huffs, smirking and rolling her eyes. “Not that I’ve loved spending my summer paraded around a bunch of rich spoiled frat boys.”

“How’s your boyfriend?” Sunghoon asks, sitting down next to her.

“Sad, he misses me.” She pouts. “I miss him more.”

“And when will you tell your father about him?”

Miyeon’s lips tighten, hiding a grin. “When will you tell your father that you left me for your step-sister?”

Of course Sunghoon told her, he had to. He had to tell someone and in many ways, Miyeon may be his only friend. It wasn’t easy but he needed someone to understand, to reassure him that he’s not going insane. 

‘You can’t possibly be losing your mind Hoon, you never had it to begin with.’ 

She wasn’t the best of help, but she listened, and she told him that he’s a freak. But a valid freak nonetheless.

“I can’t tell him.” Sunghoon nods, nervously playing with his hands. “Haven’t been on his good side ever since I told him that we broke things off. He’s been on my ass about internships and school. Nepotism must skip a generation.”

“You’re going to inherit his company, don’t be so crass. It’s unbecoming, tarnishing your cold stoic vampiresque image.” She teases, flicking his chin. “You’re definitely a shell of the man I knew. She did a real number on you.”

He hates that she’s right. He knows that his confidence has been rocked, his mind drowned beneath the thoughts he can’t escape. He wouldn’t even know how to keep his guard up anymore to block Miyeon’s sassy jabs. “I guess she did.” 

“What is it, Hoon? You could have anyone. Why did it have to be your step-sister?” She crosses her legs, head tilted to the side observing him. All she needs now is a notepad and pen to tap her chin with. She should study to psychoanalyze, really.

“She could have been anyone.” Sunghoon agrees with that. Step-sister or not, he can’t pinpoint the exact reason you caused him to spiral. “But I like her.”

“Why? What’s so special about her?”

It’s not one thing, but a bit of everything. If he could really take away the superficial and shallow reasonings beyond you being his type physically, sexy and alluring, it would come down to the energy between you. The tension and heat. He often questions if that would fade with time once you stop fighting him. If you would ever stop fighting him even if he was able to call you his.

The back and forth with you really does turn him on not only sexually but emotionally. Awakening feelings he forgot could exist. Even now without contact, with no way to reach you, he feels that pull. He feels taunted and defeated, and it’s pitiful how much he loves it. He loves that between him and his brother, you may have been the victorious one after all.

“Would you judge me if I said I feel a connection to her?” He sighs, slumping into the couch seat. “That sounds stupid, right?”

“Not at all.” Miyeon shifts to look at him, offering a small smile. “Sounds normal. You’re crazy about her because it’s more than sex, if it wasn’t you wouldn’t still be hung up on her. A guy like you doesn’t have it hard, you wouldn’t even know what it is to struggle even if you were slapped across the face with it.”

“I have it hard.” He grumbles, glaring at her. “You know what I’ve been through.”

“No you don’t Hoon.” Miyeon laughs, pointing a finger at him. “You think that because your life hasn’t been perfect, everything hasn’t gone your way, that other people wouldn’t sell their soul to live the way you live? We’re so incredibly out of touch with the real human struggle, our biggest hassle is seeking love.”

“So what? I’m not worthy of love because I’m some fucking wealthy brat?” He snaps, getting angrier by the second.

“We’re all worthy of love. You’re just not used to having to try hard, to earn what you want..” Miyeon reaches for his hand, breaking his rage for a moment. “If you expect love, you have to give love. She’s not your mom, she’s probably just as scared as you are of all of this.”

“She loves my brother just fine.” 

“From what you’ve told me, he loves her too. I didn’t know back then, but the way he rescued her from having dinner with us would have swept me off my feet.” She shrugs, frowning at him. “And do you know where he is now? In Paris, with her. He gave up his life for her.”

“Because he hates me.”

“Or because he loves her.”

Sunghoon’s mouth twitches, he refuses to believe that. Heeseung isn’t capable of loving anyone other than himself, he’s selfish.. 

“And you? You’re here, sitting on a couch talking to me as if I am your therapist.” Miyeon continues, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What’s your excuse?”

“What? I’m supposed to go to Paris and stalk her?!” 

She shrugs, raising her hands and nodding. “How could that be any worse than everything else you have already done to her? Listen,” fully turning to face him, she grabs both of his hands. “You need to talk to her, tell her how you feel.”

“She won’t speak to me.”

“Don’t give her a choice.” Miyeon says, grimacing. “It’s not the best advice but you don’t have time for this anymore. You’ve been moping around for a year still hanging onto old memories of this girl. She may not even be the same person you felt a connection to anymore. Aren’t you tired of not knowing?”

“You think I should go to Paris? Corner her when she’s not with my brother?” A light flickers behind his eyes, staring ahead deep in thought.

“I didn’t say all of that but, you need to do what you need to do.. get your girl or lose her forever.” 

She’s right, isn’t she? How could Sunghoon not realize this on his own? He thought giving you time, that you would come around on your own and realize how much he loves you. That he only did what he did because he wants you. That his brother would never compare to him..  

“Poor girl.” Miyeon mumbles, smacking Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Don’t let your greed to win overshadow what you feel for her. Put her first, for once.”

Maybe he needs more friends, perhaps another opinion could have talked him out of this. His father couldn’t complain when he approached him with the idea of finishing up his company internship(aka bitch work) in France, given that he would be taking over the European sector of his father’s company. 

So he packed his bags with nothing else planned. No place to call home, no thoughts other than finding you. The flight was long and lonely once again, but he made use of his time and brushed up on French, repeating key words and phrases he’d likely use often. 

It was crazy, all of this has been crazy. Miyeon told him to not stress much on his outlandish behavior, it’s not as if falling for your step-sibling sounded normal to begin with.

And maybe, he could fall out of love. He could go on with his life without another thought of you, without another painful grip around his heart. 

At least he hoped for an outcome close to that, of discarding his heartache. Of forgetting your name. But that couldn’t be the case.

No. He sat in the hotel lobby where he’d overheard you had taken on a summer job, and he saw you. He stayed by the corner, in the shadows, pretending to wait for his taxi driver's arrival. He watched you walk through the front doors, and he gasped. His chest caved in, his grip on the chair's arms tightened, and he leaned forward. He watched you move like slow motion, as if you were never real, and his stomach fluttered. 

He knew right then this may never be over.

Maybe it’s for the best that only Miyeon knew of his plan. To lure you up to his suite and get you alone at your place of work. You can’t leave if he does that.. and sure, maybe it’s not the most ethical approach. Maybe it’s invasive and even deplorable, but what choice have you left him? 

Phone number, blocked.

Emails, ignored.

Your living space? Shared with Heeseung. 

How else is he supposed to get to you?

This makes sense, planning out a way to trap you alone in his suite with him. Sneaking up on you, showering you with outrageously expensive gifts, and getting on his knees to purpose.

Now Miyeon had not made that suggestion, but Sunghoon concluded no other statement could make it clear how serious he is about you. How much he wants to prove his love to you, that’s why he hopped off of his flight and immediately rushed to one of the most luxurious reputable jewelers in all of Paris. A fat diamond rock to adorn your finger would be the perfect way to express his love, right? It’s not as if he even knows your ring size, having to take a wild guess and make note to adjust it later if necessary.

Everything about this plan is very *him* if he thinks about it, and you should expect no less from him. He’s eccentric like that, always pulling something ridiculous. He’s sure you recall when he purchased that pearl necklace for you simply because you’d been admiring it. How else would he make a grand comeback into your life?

Maybe he is crazy, or maybe you made him crazy. He smiled as he spoke to you, his palms grew sweatier the more his pocket weighed down with the leather box encasing your future engagement ring. The gloves were a real nice touch to not leave any of his grubby fingerprint marks on the silver band, nothing to ruin how pretty the ring would beam from your ring finger. You didn’t seem to like the gloves, but ah well..

‘I won’t give up on what my heart believes is real.’

He couldn’t believe the words leaving his lips, really. Could hardly hold himself together with how loud chest was pounding. 

‘Please, say yes.’ He begged, and his tongue felt so heavy dragging through his pleading. The backs of his eyes burned, his stomach churned, his knees trembled on the ground. If not for the cool breeze of air conditioning swarming through the hotel room, he’s sure he’d be sweating enough to soak through his suit.

It’s been so long since he’s touched you, since he’s seen your eyes focused on him, since he’s held you. Nervous hands clutch at your waist and bring you to stand. The look of awe and disbelief written across your face fills his chest with warmth. This could be worth all of his waiting and suffering, if you open your mouth and say that one word that can bring you together again.

“No!” A firm slap flies across his cheek. Snapping his neck to the side and nearly dislodging his jaw, he blinks for a minute to regain himself. Shifting his mouth muscles around to stop the lower half of his face from going numb.

More than the pain scorching through his face, he couldn’t turn off the ringing going off between his ears.

NO?!?!?!??!

Sunghoon’s cheek burns, his chest muscles twitch, and a searing pain erupts in his heart. He can feel it this time, no denying that his heart is literally in severe pain, causing him to reach for the area. He turns to glare at you, dropping the box with the ring from his grip. 

“What is wrong with you! You come here, to my job!!” You shout, shoving at his abdomen. “And you fucking ask me to marry you?!? Are you insane! Are you God damn kidding me! You can’t be this crazy, you just can’t be!”

He hears you, he does, but not really. Because the pain in his chest blooms, he steps back with each shove you deliver, and more of his internal hurt spreads. The butterflies flapping inside of his stomach lose their wings, they collapse to their death and he grabs a hold of your wrists before you can push him away again.

“You left me.”

It’s hard to look at him, harder to hear his voice. To feel his large hands wrapped around your delicate wrists. It’s harder to look away and find the ring by your feed, the ring he seriously thought you’d accept and wear on your finger? That you’d say yes?

“I was never with you.”

“Tell me,” he swallows, lifting your arms up and crossing them over your chest. Holding you in place. “Tell me that I mean nothing to you then. Let me fucking move on and forget about me, let me go.”

“Sunghoon.”

“No.” He grits, bottom lip trembling. “You don’t get to do this. You want to be with my brother? Then fine, go fucking be with him. But at least let me go.”

“This was all in your head.” You struggle to rip out of his hold, shaking yourself away. “Y-you think you can have whatever you want because of daddy’s money. You can’t have me just because you stomp and jump around like a bra—“

He should have known you wouldn’t give him a clear answer, you’re too weak for him to deny him. He’s too weak to stay away from you. So he cuts you off with a firm kiss, slotting his lips between yours. He’s been craving, dreaming of this kiss for months, to savor your taste once more. 

There’s no push or pull, only tension leaving your body as his soft pout moves against yours and he takes a step closer until the backs of your knees hit the hotel bed.

He deserves this kiss and some, more than anything. For waiting, for staying patient and not losing the little bit of his mind he still has left. A shudder runs up his spine when he drops his hands to your waist and squeezes you, pulling your chest to his. You feel right against him, smell so good, and your lips couldn’t be more heavenly. 

Slowly blinking his eyes open, he takes a few seconds to linger by your lips and take in your softened features. The dreamy look that’s taken over your face. The breaths that fan across his mouth heavier than before. He knows in this moment that you’ll never let him go, because he won’t let you.

“Y-you shouldn’t have done that.” You stammer, reaching for his hands on you. “Think you can just come back into my life and mess everything up again?!”

“Yes, I mean, no.” Squeezing his eyes shut, he shakes his head in disagreement. “I’m not here to mess up anything, I’m here to make this right.”

“There’s nothing to make right.” Loosening his hold on your waist, you manage to move around him. “I have to get back to work, please do not follow me.”

“Please.” He knows he sounds pathetic, reaching for your hand to stop you from leaving. He drags along with you toward the suite entrance without letting go. Stopping when you do and your shoulders slump, letting out a long-winded sigh.

“What do you want from me?”

“A chance.” He says confidently, interlacing his fingers with yours. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it when we’re together. Call me insane and crazy all that you want, but I know what passes between us isn’t nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter—“

“No, it does though.” Sunghoon cuts you off, using your moment of surprise to loop his arms around your waist again. “Because I’m here, I came here for you. I will not leave until you give me a chance.”

“A chance? I don’t understand, I can’t even begin to understand why you’re still trying. Why won’t you give up?!”

He knows that nothing he says to you will make sense, that even if he admitted how his feelings began to develop you may not like his full explanation. “I’m a lot of things, I’m sure you’re aware. I’m nowhere near perfect, and I haven’t shown you anything impressive really. If you deemed me a monster, I couldn’t argue with that.” He nods, rubbing up and down your sides. “But when it comes to you, I really do believe that you like me despite all of that. I—“ he stutters for a second, looking away to recompose himself. The same rush of heat he loathes finds the backs of his eyes. He can’t cry, not now.

“I think we get each other, you’re scared.” Clearing his throat, he eyes your face for any change in expression. “I’m scared. I’ve been scared. Terrified of how strongly I feel about you. I’m done being afraid.”

“And what do you think I’m scared of?” You ask sternly, tilting your chin up.

“Me.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m a monster.” That’s who he is to you. He’s the evil brother, the one with malicious intent. Spoiled rotten, crazy enough to do just about anything. He knows what you’ve built him up as in your mind, good or bad, there’s too much to repair and no amount of love you may harbor for him can do the job. If it could, you would have said yes. “That’s what you think of me, right?”

“No, Sunghoon.” You whisper, freeing yourself from his hold yet again. “I prefer to not think of you.”

“Why? Why is that?” He questions quickly, moving around you to barricade the door to exit. “Why are you pretending that I don’t exist? That none of this mattered to you.”

An air of defeat settles over you, dropping your head back with a sigh. You shrug and glare at him, unable to stop your gaze from roaming down, back up, and down again to take in how much more masculine and mature he’s become in just a year. Physically, and obviously emotionally. “Do you want me to tell you that I once had feelings for you? That I felt so guilty for months after leaving you alone in that hotel room. That I beat myself up over it, for feeling bad in the first place. I couldn’t even figure out how to feel, if you even deserved my sympathy after what you did.”

“Did you feel bad? For trying to break my heart?”

“No.” Pressing your lips into a thin line, you blink fast to push down the moisture finding its way to your eyes. Confused and annoyed by the look of disbelief that crosses his face, you clench your fists. “My heart let go of the idea of you after I found out about what you did to your brother. You played in my face and tried to manipulate me, I’m not even sure I know who you really are.”

Sunghoon has to fight to not roll his eyes, resting his back against the door he crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m exactly who I’ve shown you, never seemed to be a problem before.”

“Are you? Are you the same nice guy that took me to the Vatican? Or are you that asshole that threatened me in your bedroom?”

“Both.” He shrugs, pushing off the door to get in your face. “Tell me that you didn’t love both, that you didn’t like it when I fucked you the way you deserved.”

“I don’t think you’d be able to handle the truth if I told you what I loved most.” 

Sunghoon squints, licking the backs of his teeth with a hint of annoyance flickering across his face. He shakes his head and scoffs under his breath. “Don’t start.”

“Why? Because you hate to accept that side of yourself? That you can actually feel basic human emotion?” You ask brazenly, reaching for his jaw to drag one of your digits down. “That this sharp cold image is just a facade to hide how broken you really are?”

His neck twists away, snapping his face away from your touch. “Whatever bullshit my brother has told you is a lie. He doesn’t know me, he doesn’t know shit about what I went through.”

“He hasn’t told me much, only what I asked. I know about Miyeon.”

“Pfft,” rolling his eyes, he sets his jaw tight and pins you in place with a furious look. “What about her? I already told you, we broke it off. We never had a real relationship.”

“I know.” Softening your expression, you reach for one of his hands. Not too surprised when he allows you to lace your fingers between his. “I know about that, how your father wanted Heeseung to date her first. And I know that despite everything you’ve pulled, you still have love for your brother.”

Sunghoon lifts your hands, turning from yours to his to admire the size difference between you. How you perfectly fit against his palm, and how much nicer hand would look with a gorgeous ring on your finger. “Even if I did, it’s not enough to stop me from getting what I want. No amount of love for him or my father can stop me anymore, you do realize that, don’t you?”

“I think you’re looking for someone that I am not.” You frown, pulling your hand away. “I’m not the girl that can erase your past or heal you..”

“I don’t need to be healed.” Cupping your face, his thumbs stroke over your cheeks. Eyes dropping shut for a moment as he contemplates kissing you again. He knows better now, than you won’t listen to him if he tries to capture your lips again. “I just need you.”

“No, Hoon..” you sigh, lightly squeezing his wrists. “You’re in pain, whether you understand that or not. And it’s beyond me, above what I am capable of helping you deal with.”

Sunghoon’s fingers tremble against your jaw, slowly dragging his hands down to your throat. “Is my pain all that I am to you?”

“No, but.. I don’t know if your pain is something that I’m ready to handle.” 

Dropping his hands, he takes a step back away from you. No longer standing before the door, leaving you with a clear escape. “Yet.”

Perhaps he’s right, maybe it’s hope, delusion, something along that route. But you can’t find it in yourself to deny him. Only stiffly nodding your head as you make your way to leave the suite. He stops you one more time, licking his pink lips.

“Don’t leave me this way, after all of this. After a year of replaying every memory I have with you.” He says desperately, blinking away tears he’d never allow to pour down in front of you.

“What do you want from me?” You ask nearly as pitifully, fearing how much longer you can stand being around him. Your resolve can only stay so strong, even if you won’t admit that the memories of him have never once left your mind.

“A kiss.” 

“I’m with your brother.”

“One kiss.”

“One kiss and you’ll let me go back to work?” You ask hesitantly, already sensing thick tension building up around you. There’s nothing to stop you from opening the door and walking out, except Sunghoon could grab you.. and knowing him he would. He’d keep you holed up in here for another hour until you crack under his pressure and give into him. That’d be the worst case scenario, knowing in the back of your mind that you’d absolutely succumb to him if you stay in here alone with him much longer.

A small smile plays on his lips, nodding shortly. “One kiss and you’re free to leave.”

“But am I free of you?”

“No promises.” Sunghoon doesn’t bother to ease into the kiss. Making the first move to cup your face. He presses in, leaning his head in to align your lips. 

This kiss that he’s allowed to run rampant in his mind. This kiss that he’s craved for, pictured all of the different ways it would go. How you’d run into his arms, and he’d scoop you up. Maybe even some rain would fall from the sky, because surely even the Gods of the universe had to rejoice in this moment.

Only this is nothing as he dreamt of, this is better.

This is real. The barely there breathy moan that escapes your throat. The heat radiating from your mouth to his. The soft plush of your lips applying pressure against his as you kiss back. And you do kiss back, allowing the tip of his tongue to skim across the seam of your lips. He boldly takes the chance to push in more, eyebrows raised as your mouth parts open around him.

This kiss is more passionate, more intense, blooming life between his thighs. He feels mad once his tongue makes it past your lips, and he licks the roof of your mouth. Licks through the crevices, laps at your tongue. He can’t get enough, moaning as the taste of your saliva meets the back of his throat. He needs more, needs to know how swollen your pretty mouth can get if he keeps going. Pulling back his tongue and slurping, he latches onto your bottom lip. Sucking the plump juiciness between his, biting down harder than intended. 

Excitement builds fast, rushing through him at light speed and his hands. His hands slide down, they land at your chest, teasing the buttons of your blouse. And just like that your lips are gone, leaving him puckered up midair. Dreamily blinking open his glazed over eyes.

“H-huh?” 

The sight of the back of your hand dragging across your mouth is the first thing he sees. Drawing yourself away from him with a firm nod. You hold out a finger toward him and make your way to the door. “Stay right there.”

Sunghoon can’t ignore the way his chest swoops down to his stomach. His groin aches and throbs. Fuck if it isn’t taking every bit of his restraint to stop himself from chasing after you only to slam your back against that door before you can go anywhere. With clenched fists he listens to you, gritting his teeth.

“Will you allow me to call you now?”

“No.”

Sunghoon chuckles sarcastically to mask his pain. Having to hold himself up by clutching onto the entrance table. Practically knocked off of his feet after getting a small taste of you. “I figured as much. Well I always have your address.”

“Hoon.”

“What?” He acts stupid, blinking dumbly with a shit-eating grin. All of this is fake, an act to keep his tears under control.

“Do not show up at my home.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, that’s not my style..” he motions around himself. Indicating that he’d much rather track you down at work where he can at least enjoy a luxurious hotel suite. “I’ll be writing to you.”

“Writing??”

“Letters.” He nods surely, playing with the door handle. “I hope you’ll read them.”

Giving him a suspicious eye, you shake your head and begin to turn around to head back to your manager’s office. Scoffing and muttering under your breath. “Whatever.”

“Don’t be a stranger! Alright?” He calls out from behind you. Sighing to himself and dragging two digits across his bottom lip. 

Maybe you didn’t say yes, and sure, you didn’t seem as excited to see him after an entire year as he had hoped for; but one kiss held more than hope. Confirming that you still want him, still think about him. He’d cherish that kiss until you come around and finally accept to let him in. It’s not as if you’ve kicked him out, yet..

———————————-

‘I remember my first time in Paris, I thought to myself city of love? And wondered if I simply did not understand what love must really feel like. Dad had brought me along for a company trip, he wanted me to meet some investors, get my face recognized before I joined his side someday. I watched these old fat bastards chain smoke all night, rave about Parisian women dancing topless at Crazy Horse, drink as if tomorrow would never come. I felt no sense of love, only disgust as I sat there amidst wealth being mindlessly thrown around. 

And now I sit here in the city of love, and I sip on cappuccinos every early morning. I order the same flaky butter croissant from this adorable quaint café near my hotel. I take my time to people watch, relax and soak in the morning sun that has just risen, and I think of you. I think of love.’

He really did write you letters. Every week a new one would come in, addressed from one of your favorite aunts. The first to arrive initially had you excited, hoping she had shoved in a few hundred dollar bills after hearing that you’d been working. Maybe your mother had informed her that she hadn’t been transferring you quite as much anymore. The last thing you anticipated was a handwritten letter from Sunghoon.

Choking on your coffee as you began to read, you cleared your throat and peered around for Heeseung’s presence. Thankfully, he was too deep into his game to notice your wide eyes and the paper in your hand. Sunghoon had really sent you a Goddamn letter.. pen and paper.. what a fool.

You tried to hold back a smile as you continued to read upon realizing this was no mail sent from your beloved aunt. 

‘I think about you and how nice it would be to wake up by your side. To share my morning coffee with you, to cut a croissant for you. To simply take a stroll before I head into work and hold your hand. How much I’d love to see your face glow under this sunrise. I’d buy you flowers from the local vendors, take you on shopping sprees every weekend. We’d be regulars at the opera house, try out all the fine dining Paris has to offer. And when we’re up to it, we could go to the South of France, take the train out to Sweden, Denmark, wherever you wish to visit. That must be love, to enjoy and live through this life with someone who fills your heart.

-SH’

Thousands of feelings swarm around your head as you fold up the paper and tuck it into your pocket. Already planning to stuff it away inside of the jewelry box you only ever open to look at, to remember. 

“Babe, did you check out any of those listings I emailed you?” Heeseung calls out, not moving his eyes away from the computer screen. He leans in too close, jabbing at his keyboard. “Found some really good plots of land and houses that could benefit from a lot of refurbishing in Seattle. I think you’d really like the area.”

It’s been a couple of weeks now since your anniversary, since Sunghoon’s unwelcomed arrival back into your life. You never mentioned your night time visitor at work to your boyfriend, maybe out of fear. Worry and guilt as to how he would react knowing that his younger brother’s booked a suite at your place of work..

Heeseung likely wouldn’t have taken the news well, given your past and how sensitive the topic of his brother always is. You don’t walk on eggshells anytime he’s even alluded to in conversation for nothing.

“Uhm, no, haven’t had time, baby. You know work has been so crazy. Peak tourist season and all.” 

You’re not lying, work has been slammed. You’ve come home night after night completely exhausted. Also tense from looking over your shoulder, afraid and hopeful of the possibility to see a familiar face. It’s not that you want to see him, at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself. You’re curious more than anything.. if he’d rear around the corner. If he’d try to bother you while working, what his next step could be..

It’s better this way. Keeping Heeseung clueless to his brother's current location, avoid any possible altercations, and there’s of course no need to mention the kiss. It didn’t mean anything.. you just needed a way out.

“Babe, our lease here ends in a few months. I really want to start planning for the move back.”

This has been happening nonstop for the last week. Even when you’re fucking he brings up moving, rubbing your stomach and mumbling about having kids. Reassuring you that he’ll land a high-paying job once you move. It’s a near guarantee thanks to his last name and father’s connections..

“We could go month to month..” you mumble, pretending to clean up around the kitchen. “You know, if we can’t find a place we agree on.”

The sound of his game pausing fills your living space in silence. Slowly turning to look at you, he tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “But then we’d be here even longer, and I thought—“

“I don’t want to move.” You should have let him know immediately. But impending fear of losing him kept you quiet. Nodding and agreeing to whatever he said as you went on ignoring his texts and emails about moving. Skirted around the subject whenever he brought it up again. Yawned and waved off the conversation in favor of getting to sleep, or taking a shower, anything to make him stop until he came to the realization on his own.

“You don’t want to move?..” moving to stand, he slowly walks over to you. Lips pulled down in a frown. “But I thought we were planning our future—“

“You.” Interrupting him, you anxiously ring your hands together. Knocking your nail beds against each other. “You were planning..”

“Are you—“ he breathes shallowly, reaching for his chest. “B-breaking up with me??”

“No! Hee, no! Not at all!” You fret, running around the kitchen island to grab his arms. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this! I don’t want you to be upset!”

“So, you lied to me?” He sighs, head dropping. “You never wanted to move?”

“I didn’t lie.. I never told you that I wanted to move.”

“Then, then—why? Why not?” He sounds genuinely confused, tearing your heart apart. You tried to avoid this, didn’t want to have to ruin the peaceful relationship you’ve become accustomed to, too comfortable with. 

“I love living here, in Paris..”

“But it’s—we always complain about so many things! The sewer system, how fast the groceries go bad, the lack of convenient transportation!”

“You, you complain about those things.” Rubbing his arms up and down, you trail down to place your hands in his. “I’m sorry for not being honest. I don’t want you to leave me..”

Heeseung looks as overwhelmed as you feel, forehead wrinkled, lips tightened into a thin line. He sighs and shakes his head, pulling you into a hug. It’s not that you couldn’t make it work.. a long distance type of relationship, but for how long? 

There’s a chance you could wake up one day tired of this, missing your life back in the states. But there’s a higher chance you’ll regret letting him slip from your arms to start a new life without you in America. 

Silence and a tight hug consumes you for the next hour. Calming each other with soothing rubs up and down each other’s backs.

“Now I feel bad, like I’ve been pressuring you..” he mumbles into your shoulder. Squeezing you closer to his front. “God I feel like such a dick.”

“It’s my fault, seriously. You have nothing to feel bad about.” 

No. The only one who should feel bad is you. Giggling over some stupid letter that you should have tore up once you realized who it came from. You should feel bad whenever you’re by yourself, when your boyfriends at work, when you lock yourself in the bathroom alone; and you think about him. Replaying the kiss, the touch of his hands on you, the desperation in his voice. You’re the worst girlfriend, undeserving of a man as good as Heeseung.

“We don’t have to keep talking about this. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Pulling away to look at you, he really tries to force a smile to comfort you. “I was getting home sick, I don’t know.. it was stupid.”

“Not stupid.” You say apologetically. Sorry for things he’s not even aware of..

The rest of the day goes by awkwardly, needless to say. As much as you both continue to assure each other that everything’s okay, and everything will be okay; you know that everything has changed. 

Heeseung drops the topic of moving for the next few weeks, and he tries, he tries so hard to be the best boyfriend to you. Only setting in what a piece of shit you really are for holding him back, for keeping him here with you for your own selfish reasons.

He’s your first love and the thought of losing him keeps you up at night. Staring blankly out into nothing as you quietly debate with yourself over and over again. Weighing out the pros and cons of moving, of giving up your dreams to satisfy his. 

And through your inner turmoil, the letters continue to come. Never questioned by your boyfriend when you explain that your favorite aunt once lived in Paris when she was about your age. You’ve become pen pals sort of, sharing your experiences back and forth.

Another lie.

‘I told my French instructor about you, or well, perhaps I fibbed a little. Told him that I moved here for my girlfriend. She loves Paris, enchanted with the city. He’s really helped me out to improve the little bit of French I had learned back in high school. 

There’s this saying he spoke of when I told him about us. 

Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point

It means: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. 

Again, I think of you, I think of my heart when it comes to you. The reasons I think that I love you, how they run so deep that I am not sure I will ever begin to understand how we ended up here..

I hope you are well, and that someday you will understand that love is not one dimensional. Our hearts are stronger than we realize. Love you.

-SH’

These letters, they could be another way to manipulate you. Going on two months now, he sends one every week sharing tidbits of his life here in Paris. How lonely it is, how he’s used to being alone, and how even though you are not with him—he is with you.

And then he writes about her, and you have to ask yourself how far Sunghoon’s willing to go to mess with your head. How much of himself is he willing to open up and spill out for you. He claims to love you, shouldn’t he pour himself empty for you?

‘My mom passed away September 26th. The days coming up again. I don’t talk much about her, I know. I am sure my brother has told you enough, how I bawled my eyes out everyday as a child. How much I hurt all by myself. Maybe it’s true that people like me are some of the loneliest.

Someone like me who seems to have it all. That’s what a lot of the employees under me now say behind my back. I hear them, I listen to their snickering words. To their quiet whispers when I arrive and walk through to my office without acknowledging their feeble existences. They think I’m a fucking dick, they’re probably right.

I don’t blame everything on my mother. I pity her the same way I pity my brother. Both too weak to handle their emotions in a way that doesn’t ruin others lives. 

You told me I have love for my brother, that I don’t hate him, and you’re right. I don’t know how you read me so easily, but you do. It drives me crazy, the way you make me feel seen. I go through life with all these eyes on me, but none of them really see me. None of them are actually looking at me.

Ah, I am speaking nonsense, aren’t I? You probably haven’t read a single one of these. Maybe I’m starting to lose my last attachment to this fleeting hope. Not that this hasn’t been worth everything to me. To be able to see you again even if just once, to taste you one last time. I can’t believe I allowed love in only for it to hurt me. 

I wouldn’t take any of this back. I don’t believe I have ever let go of myself this much, the invisible armor I keep up. Thanks to you, I have learned to bring down my defenses.. I really do hate that.

Talk soon, I hope.

-SH’

Each letter dug a deeper hole inside of your chest. Sunghoon never gave you a return address, both of you know there were more than enough ways to reach him. You know exactly where his father’s company is located, his email, his phone number that remains blocked.

He poured more and more of himself into each one. And as much as it pained you to read, you felt the same butterflies or excitement each time another letter arrived in the mail. Hiding yourself at your computer desk to read every new one, muttering to Heeseung that you had some work to wrap up. 

This couldn’t qualify as cheating if you remained contactless on your side, right? Not that repeating that to yourself helped any with the guilt that continued to suffocate you. 

If only you could run to your mother with this problem, let out all of your anguish. How much you’ve been stretched apart by these two men. How they’ve split you down the middle and made you forget yourself.

If they weren’t your step-brothers she’d likely soar to the fucking moon after hearing news of your rapturous love life. Not even your mother had enough faith in you to believe that two Park men could possibly be battling to a bloody pulp to claim you as theirs and only theirs.

As fast as fall came, so did the crushing weight of reality. 

Heeseung’s smile rarely graced your days anymore. His laughter hardly filled your loft. And the uneasy strain between you never subsided. His sadness was hard to ignore and trying to only made you feel worse, guiltier, like such a terrible person.

“Hee, I checked out some of those locations you sent me before.” You mention over dinner. Feeling extra tense after reading another new letter from Sunghoon.

He’s officially moved into Paris, no longer residing at a hotel. His writing was full of excitement this time, cheering happily about finding a place. Insisting you come visit him one day to at least compliment him for hiring a fantastic realtor and scoring a decently priced house with a perfect view of the Eiffel tower. Decently priced for a millionaire, of course.

“Huh?” Heeseung asks, half paying attention. Half distracted by a game on his phone.

“Seattle, right? It’s nice and cold out there..”

Nothing like a humid sunny summer day in Paris, no.. 

“Wh-what? I thought you didn’t want to move.”

You don’t. At all.

“Worth looking at.” You shrug, biting down on your lip nervously. 

It’s not actually, and you’re being tortured by your own subconscious that won’t shut up about this. It’s all you can think about even while you fuck and have great sex. Heeseung’s accepting a future he doesn’t desire for you. And you? You’re greedy, selfish, benefiting off of his pain to fulfill your needs and dreams..

“You don’t want to leave Paris.” He nods firmly, reaching across the table for your hand. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

All you seem to do these days is lie. Lie after lie, failing to convince yourself that you only choose to lie to protect him.

You have to lie, because worse than losing him, you’d hate to be another person that’s let him down. Another comparison to his mother, father, brother, all those who have failed him before you..

“I don’t.” You struggle to say, throat welling up with tears. “But I’m scared. What does this mean for us?”

“N-nothing, I—“

“You’re unhappy.” Saying those words out loud rush tears to brim your eyes. Blinking the first batch out, they scold your cheeks on their way down. “You don’t like it here, you’re only here because of me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” He appeals, sitting up. The game on his phone forgotten about. “I love you, I want to be wherever you are.”

“I know.” Sniffling, you squeeze his hand. Getting up to sit down on his lap and wrap yourself around him. “I love you, and I don’t want you to choose a life that was never meant for you.”

I’ve put you through so much Heeseung. That’s what you wish you could bring yourself to say. That you released his inner demons, went behind his back, selfishly expected him to fix all of your fucked up life himself..

“We can make this work, can’t we?” Heeseung’s first cry makes your heart sink. Clutching onto him, burying your fingers through his hair. You don’t want to ever let go, don’t want to accept the reality of your situation. That he may just be your very first heartbreak.

“Of course we can, baby.”

Lying isn’t always a bad thing, right? Sometimes we lie to spare others feelings. Like when your mother lied to you about cheating on your father, she knew you’d figure everything out in time. But you were too young to fully comprehend the gravity of the situation. She lied so that you wouldn’t hate her or blame her. You lied for the same reasons..

By October, Heeseung had packed up his belongings. The two of you agreed that this wouldn’t be permanent, only until you finish up school and get at least a year’s experience of work. After that was all done, you could revisit the whole moving back to America conversation. Of course you cried and suffered in silence, keeping yourself as calm as you could around him as the days went by. The second you locked the bathroom door to shower, tears would find their way out. You’d sob and cry into your palm. Hoping the shower was louder than your aching chest to drown out the sound of your sadness.

Your mother only side-eyed you when you begged her to not make Sunghoon aware of Heeseung’s departure back to the states. She didn’t pry too much, only clicked her tongue disappointed by the lack of a close relationship you had with her preferred brother.

The goodbye before Heeseung got on the plane to leave you spiraled you into a depressive state for weeks. Only forcing yourself to appear normal when he’d video call you appearing equally miserable. This was the promise you made to each other, to keep your relationship alive. Update each other daily, phone calls, scheduled video chats, texts throughout your days, photos, anything. 

And that worked, at first. Even forcing you both to learn how to get each other off in new ways. Video calls often turned steamy, positioning your cameras to enjoy the view of your private areas as you touched yourselves and moaned. Of course, it was never enough and you’d crawl into the bed he shared with you only 3 weeks ago to cry yourself to sleep

“This was for the best.” That’s what you continued to tell yourself. He was miserable here, already back to smiling big as he used to whenever he answers another video call from you. He’s doing better mentally despite missing your warmth by his side, and that’s what matters.

If you love something, let it go, right?

That’s what Sunghoon did.

Sunghoon.

His letters have piled up, the fourth one coming in today. You stare at them stacked on your kitchen counter sometimes. Trembling hands tempted to open each and swallow down each word like a crisp sip of wine. 

They felt similar. Addicting, butter, sweet, euphoric. To be let inside of someone that not many, if any, have ever been able to know so well.

Maybe this was the right decision for you and Heeseung, as much as it ripped you to shreds to go through with. He once gave up the only life he’d ever known for you, and here you are.. only giving him up.

There are times you listen to the sound of your heart beating only to make sure it’s there. You’re not a heartless monster for choosing yourself first. Neither of your parents were pleased with this news, especially your mother who has been urging you to move and follow along with your step-brother. 

‘At least Sunghoon lives out there now too. I don’t understand you kids, Europe is great for vacation.’

She also pestered you to contact him, to not forget that he is also your step-sibling. That you also should build a healthy strong relationship with him as he will be the one to likely inherit all of Mr. Park’s wealth when his time comes.

‘Heeseung’s wonderful, I was wrong about him.’ She mindlessly chatted with you, holding a yogurt covered spoon by her mouth. ‘I’m so grateful that he took all of that time to look out for you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he had a crush on you or some type of liking.’

She giggled over the silly idea, finishing her yogurt and ending the call. Not before scolding you to text Sunghoon.

You wouldn’t. Instead, you shoved his unopened letters inside of a drawer and decided to attend your job’s annual Halloween ball. Something that could help to lift your spirits, dressing up a little, dancing and drinking with your coworkers. Why not?

Heeseung encouraged you and helped you pick out an outfit over video call. Leaving your room a haphazard mess of tops and skirts, all types of tights and fishnets thrown about as you tried on various looks for him. The two of you agreed upon a deep blood red coat you purchased sometime last year at a street market that resembled a cape.

“That should be good enough to cover you up on your way over.” He gulped, nervously taking in the skimpy black minidress you chose. Cut low to enhance your breast shape, the fabric clung to your skin tightly showing off all of your shape.

“Good thing I work with a ton of girls, right baby?” You winked, blowing him a kiss. He pressed in closer to the screen whimpering.

“Send me a lot of pictures?”

“Of course, don’t have too much fun handing out candy without me?”

The two of you chatted for a bit longer before you had to let him go. It was already after 8pm and the party had been well on its way by the time you arrived. Many of your coworkers had been hitting the open bar hard, dragging you onto the dance floor right as you arrived.

Halloween tunes from Monster Mash to Thriller blasted through the speakers and everyone had fun dancing. Exactly what you needed, not some grungy Parisian club filled with men attempting to grope you all night. Just a good spooky time with the closest thing you have to friends in this lonely city.

This lonely city that you could run into just about anyone in.

Brava. Brava. Bravissima.

That jawline, those eyes, his curved lips. You’d recognize him regardless of the mask covering half of his face. He’s standing there across the floor, beneath the balcony creating a shadow down his face. Sharp gaze laser focused on you, unblinking, licking his lips when you finally spot him.

How long has he waited? How did he know, and why.. why is he wearing that.

The world really stops, slows down, becomes mute when you see him. That’s Sunghoon’s power over you and he knows it. Floating across the floor to you, he bows forward. The cufflinks on his wrist gleam, the white gloves covering his hands strike visually in contrast against his black suit. 

And that mask, that mask hiding half of his handsome features. This has to be a joke.

“Phantom.”

“Ah, you did not read my letters.” His tongue clicks, and you’re sure a hint of blush spreads across his one visible cheek. 

“I did.” You stammer, squeezing your eyes shut. “N-not the past few, been busy..”

“Well,” reaching out his hand, he smiles. “Trick or treat?”

“Is this not enough of a trick for you?” You can’t help but sneer, rolling your eyes as you take his hand. “What happened to not stalking me at my place of work?

“I’ll have you know I stayed at this establishment for a month. I was invited because I’m now considered a platinum club member guest.” Sunghoon leads you away from the drunken crowd of girls you’d been amongst all night. Head towards the center of the dance floor, his sharp canines shine under the low lights that scatter about the room. “Didn’t think you’d be here, job requirements I’m guessing?”

“Yeah.” 

Not necessarily, but that’s none of his business.

“Not allowed to bring a plus one?” He questions. Making his true curiosity very clear.

“Felt like doing a girls night.” You shrug, lifting his hand to look over his costume. “So, why this get up?”

“Why not? I’m in Paris. Felt like an appropriate costume.” He shrugs back, cocking his visible eyebrow. “Not a fan?”

“That’s hilarious..” you mutter. Falling in line with him as he leads you to dance. “Me? Not a fan of Phantom of The Opera?”

“Let me guess, you’re my angel of music?” He grins, turning you around. His free hand creeping onto your waist beneath your cape. “The mask I wear?

“Good guess.” Sticking out your tongue at him, you snort. “I’m a vampire, obviously.”

“Ah, well, your fangs seems to be missing tonight.”

“Oh? You must be a human to think so naive.”

“Could always bite me if that’s the case?” His smile widens, bending in closer. “Right on the jugular, suck me dry to the bone.”

“You’re too insufferable to pull off Phantom, you know.” 

Sunghoon can’t stop himself from smiling. He even laughs, pointing out a table nearby. “Join me? I do miss this back and forth with you, you know.”

“My coworkers are waiting for me.” You lie, beginning to turn away.

“Come on, I won’t try anything. Promise.” Holding out his pinky toward you, he nods at the table again. “We can’t chat? Like old time friends?”

“We’ve never been friends, Sunghoon.”

“You’re right, whatever we are is so much worse.” He chuckles. Seemingly amused just to be in your presence. “Please? For a little bit?”

“Fine.” You know better than to give him an inch. Sunghoon only knows how to take more and more, but you can’t deny how human he seems now. Those stupid letters go to you.

“Honestly, had no idea you were a fan.” He holds out his hands in defense. Lips dragging down at the corners. “I thought about being a ghost and the Paris opera ghost came up while I googled. Tell me that’s not too perfect.”

“Well, I’m a big fan.” Easing up around him, you stir a tepid drink around. Mostly nursing it instead of drinking. He has to sit close to hear you as music blares, and you try to ignore how good the cologne he’s wearing smells. “It’s probably weird.”

“No no no! Tell me all about it.” Sunghoon couldn’t look happier to be talking to you. Crossing his arms over his chest proudly, he motions for you to continue. “I’m familiar enough to understand.”

“It’s just a really good romance. A tragic one, but good nonetheless.” You shrug, looking over his costume again. “Maybe I’m a sucker for love triangles.”

“I think I’ve caught onto that.” He snorts. Drinking the last sip of his beverage. “Is it like a team Edward or Jacob thing for you?”

“Pfftt.. don’t compare Phantom to that.”

“Well? You must have been on the good guys side. Raoul, right?” Sunghoon taps his chin. “I mean, you know, he was no Edward if you ask me.”

“Can’t stand Raoul.” You mumble. “He wasn’t really that good of a guy.”

“Pftt, tell me about it.” He scoffs under his breath. Lifting both eyebrows at you. “And Phantom, he’s just one hell of a man, huh?”

“You see, I get it. I understand why it’s only implied that Eric and Christine got it on.” You begin to explain, over-using your hands to distract from how awkward this conversation has become. “But, like—it wasn’t enough.”

Sunghoon grins, eyebrows mockingly bouncing up and down. “You little trollop.”

“Trollop?!” You guffaw, rolling your eyes. “You clearly have got to get back to America.”

“No no, don’t try to change the subject.” Snapping his fingers in your face, he nods for you to continue. “Go on, tell me about how you wanted Gaston Leroux to go into extreme detail about Phantom clapping Miss Daaé’s cheeks.”

“Ugh, it’s not that vulgar.” His smile only increases the more you lie and brush around the topic. Blowing out a long gust of air, you stomp and pretend to whine. How the conversation took a flirty tone is beyond you. “Fine! Fine okay! I dabbled in reading a few erotic Phantom of The Opera novels.”

“Do tell darling.” Sunghoon leans in, highly amused. “Got your shit off to some freaky phan-fiction, did you?”

“You’re seriously annoying.”

“I have to know,” he pouts, humming. “How was it?”

“I mean, Christine..” you trail off, bypassing his gaze. “She never really wanted it, I mean she did. But she didn’t—like she..” the tightness budding in your throat causes you to pause, locking with his gaze. “She did, but she acted differently. He really had to make her his..”

His head tilts, cheek dimpling with an arrogant glimmer in his eyes. “Sounds like my kind of girl.”

“Oh yeah? Since when has your style been the difficult type?”

“Sometimes you need to meet the right one to know what you’re looking for.” 

Sunghoon smiles, nodding toward the exit when you don’t keep the conversation going. “The nights still young, want to check out the Halloween parade?”

No. You shouldn’t, but you want to. So you nod and follow him out, keeping your arms pressed tightly against your sides.

Reading letters was definitely a form of emotional cheating, but this, this had to be worse. And deep down inside you knew after this night that Sunghoon Park would never leave you alone. He’d lurk in the shadows, haunt your dreams, chew away at your heart until he could swallow the last beatz

Maybe the darkness that surrounded him reached out toward you for the hundredth time, and maybe you let him in to finally meet yours.

———————————-

~seven years later~

The Eiffel tower is a magnificent sight at night. Lights glow all over the city, reflecting off of the water around. These days you spend a lot of time simply absorbing, taking in the grandiose landscape. 

When morning comes you sit down with a cup of coffee, decaffeinated tea as of late. Stirring a cube of sugar until it melts with the hot water, and you take a deep breath. Paris is romanticized in the media, in reality it’s nothing too special. What makes the city special is the people. From the different street vendors, cafe owners, angry bike riders shouting curses, the snooty designer brand employees bustling and rushing to work. There are certain quirks to the city of love that at times make you laugh.

Because here you are, reminiscing on these last few years. 

Heeseung had moved back after some time, and you couldn’t have been happier. Taking advantage of the short period of time he had no job, you would venture off to other parts of Europe. Finally visited the Swiss Alps during the Winter season. Everything was as beautiful as you always dreamt of, even more with him by your side.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Deep warmth vibrates against your throat. Pressing soft kisses up the side of your neck, he nips at your ear. Complimenting the diamond earrings he’d gifted you on your last anniversary.

“How much I love it here.”

“Can you believe that you almost left?”

That’s right, the flight to Seattle had even been purchased. Making it all the way to your gate before you broke down and cried. The life you’d made in Paris was everything you ever wanted growing up. And he was everything your heart needed. 

“I don’t think you were ever supposed to move back.” Wrapping around your waist from behind, he flattens you back to his chest. Large hands gently resting on the top of your stomach. “I knew ever since that first time, the way your eyes lit up when you stepped off the plane.”

“I hadn’t even left the airport yet.” You scoff, layering your hands on top of his. The sturdy build of his chest eases some of the weight off of your knees, utilizing his strength to lean against. “And I never wanted to leave after that.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Squeezing your hands, he slides them lower to cup around your protruding stomach. Slowly easing your interlaced fingers beneath your bump. “That’s why we’re here.”

Ah yes, there’s three of you to consider now. 

Now, how did this happen? How did you get here? What do your parents think? 

For one, they don’t know.

‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.’ He shrugged, ever the type B personality. He never stressed much about anything the way you did. His only stress ever seemed to be you.

‘We hardly ever see them anyway. A few holidays that they make their way over here. What’s my father going to do? Disown me?’ He spoke arrogantly as ever. Smiling cockily and spinning you into his arms to follow him through the living room when you ran in holding a positive pregnancy test.

You’re not even married.

‘You’re having my baby. It’s about damn time.’

God knows he’s been trying to get you knocked up for months now. And maybe he’s right, you’ve worked despite him insisting he can afford to take care of you without your paychecks. But now seemed like the appropriate time to relax, be a stay at home mother.. buy fancy strollers and baby Chanel ballet flats. If you have a girl, of course.

“You ready darling? I know how much you love to stand out here and admire the pollution but we do have dinner reservations.”

“Do we have time to walk?” You ask hopeful, batting your eyelashes. 

“Ahh—“

“Please?”

He’s been such a hard ass ever since you started showing. Making new rules everyday of what you can and cannot do. “I know it’s not far, I saw the confirmation email.”

Clicking his tongue, he playfully glares at you. Rubbing your stomach. “Can’t ever just let me surprise you, can you?”

“Please? Who knows how much longer I’ll be able to see my own feet, let alone walk without waddling.”

Busting into a smile, he nods and directs you to follow him off of the balcony back inside of the house. First, you have to put on a coat, of course, it’s too chilly outside for you to only walk around in a dress. The baby could catch a cold, that’s what he says while getting your arms into a peacoat.

“Already miss wearing my high heels.” You frown at the flats that have begun to take over your closet. Led down the elevator to exit onto the street. His large hand finds yours, taking slow steps to not rush you. Making more effort with his longer legs to keep a light pace.

“Hey, those are $7000 shoes you have on.” He scoffs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “They’re cute.”

“Yeah, they’re cute.” You pout, watching your feet walk down the cobblestone toward the center of town. The convenient location of your ridiculously expensive house was prime real estate, located close enough to everything you’d want walking distance to. 

“They’re cute, you’re cuter.”

“Ahh, you little—“

“Hey.” A nervous smile plays on his lips. Coming around to take a few steps ahead of you, he reaches for the front of your coat and stops you. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“Sunghoon.” You say flatly. Sensing heat climb up your chest despite the crisp night air. “You know I hate when you do this.”

His smile trembles more, biting on his lower lip. “Do you love me?”

“God, I wish I didn’t.” You sigh to hold back a smile. Turning away to not look at how the tip of his nose reddens. The Eiffel towers not too far now, right to your side.. a near perfect spot for..

Him to get down on his knees as he has when you turn back to look at him. 

“I asked you once before if you’d marry me.” His teeth chatter, not from the cold breeze. Blinking at the moisture that rapidly fills his eyes. “You said no.”

“Hoon..”

“And I kept that ring.” The same box from years ago opens up in his hand. The ring he thought screamed your name from the first moment he spotted it in some outrageously priced jewelry store. “I meant what I said back then as much as I do now.”

“You’ve always been crazy.” You manage to say through the wetness filling your throat. Clasping your hands to your face as a sob comes out. 

“Is that why you love me?” Sunghoon’s icy complexion flushes pink. A single tear trickles down his cheek, and his eyebrows scrunch together. Chest beating wildly waiting for you to deny him once again.

“One of the reasons.” You nod, draping one of your hands under your stomach to hold your dress down. “One of many.”

“Do you think that this time, I’ll get the girl?” He asks wearily, holding the ring up. “Will you say yes? Will you spend your life with me?”

“I think that you’ve always had the girl.”

“Good, because I’m nothing without her.” More tears pour down his face. Digging the ring out of the jewelry box, he takes a hold of your hand. 

“Marry me?”

After all of this time, all of this running away, all of these feelings you denied. There is only one answer.

“Yes.”

———————————-

Rest in peace tumblr user simpjaes 2024. she was a whore who could handle a lot, but not this much.

a love affair in colour

pairing: art tutor!jay x princess!reader

synopsis: as a princess exploring her artistic passions, you’re drawn to jay, your mesmerising art teacher whose lessons stir more than just creativity. what begins as a quest to master your craft quickly becomes a whirlwind of tension and forbidden desire. with every brushstroke and shared moment, the line between teacher and lover blurs. but when societal barriers and personal doubts threaten your connection, will you both find a way to embrace a future together, or will your love remain a beautiful but fleeting masterpiece?

genre: strangers to lovers, forbidden relationship, comfort

warnings: kissing, lots of tension, mentions of status difference, angst, a little suggestive

note: i used my experience in art to detail all the content related to it so bear with me if it seems a little modern, i don't know much about how they did art in the olden times. also jay just constantly raises my standards??? i love that man so much he's so husband material it hurts TT enjoy reading!

word count : 11.1k

royally yours masterlist | prev:heeseung | next: jake

if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

you’ve always been drawn to art. as a child, while other princesses were learning courtly etiquette or practising diplomacy, you were sneaking into the gardens to sketch the trees or hiding in your chambers, fingers stained with ink as you copied paintings from the castle’s grand halls. but those were mere indulgences, fleeting escapes from the rigid structure of royal life.

when your parents noticed your growing talent, they encouraged it—as a hobby, of course. something to amuse yourself with between diplomatic meetings, public appearances, and the pressures of royal expectations. but for you, art was never just a pastime. it was a passion. an escape. a way to express the parts of you that didn’t fit into the carefully curated image of a princess.

so, when you told your parents you wanted to pursue art seriously, it was met with initial resistance. a princess has duties, obligations, responsibilities. but you persisted, and eventually, they relented. if you were going to study art, they wanted the best for you. that’s how jay came to the palace—an accomplished artist in his own right, though he came from modest beginnings. he was hired to help you master the craft before your trip to paris, where you’d study under the finest artists in the world.

jay’s reputation preceded him. he was known not only for his skill but for his ability to bring out the best in his students. when he arrived at the palace, you were both eager and nervous, unsure of what to expect.

your first meeting was in the grand studio, a room that had once been your sanctuary. now, as you stand by the window, gazing out over the palace grounds, you feel the weight of what’s to come. you’re no longer a novice; this isn’t just a casual hobby. this is the beginning of something serious, something real. and the thought of it is both exhilarating and terrifying.

the door creaks open behind you, and you turn to see him—jay. he’s younger than you expected, though older than you by a few years. his clothes are simple, a stark contrast to the luxury of your surroundings, yet he wears them with a quiet confidence. his dark hair is tousled, as though he’s just come from a long day at work, and there’s a certain intensity in his eyes, a focus that makes your stomach flip.

“your highness,” he greets, bowing low.

“please, just my name,” you say quickly, hoping to dispel some of the formality that hangs between you. “if we’re to work together, there’s no need for titles.”

he straightens, and for a moment, you think you see a flicker of something—surprise? amusement?—in his expression, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. “very well,” he says simply. “shall we begin?”

you nod, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves as you lead him to the easel set up near the window. it’s been prepared for your first lesson, a blank canvas stretched taut, waiting for the first stroke of charcoal or paint. you’ve done this before, hundreds of times, but never under the watchful eye of a teacher like jay.

“before we begin,” he says, setting his bag down on the table, “tell me why you want to do this. not because you have to—because you want to.”

his question catches you off guard. you’d expected him to dive straight into the technical aspects of drawing or painting, not to ask about your motivations. but there’s a seriousness in his tone that tells you he’s not just asking out of curiosity. he wants to understand. he wants to know you.

“i’ve always loved art,” you admit, folding your hands in front of you, feeling a little exposed. “it’s the one thing that’s mine. in a world where so much is decided for me, art is where i get to choose. it’s... freedom.”

jay nods slowly, as if weighing your words. “art is freedom,” he agrees quietly. “it’s expression. it’s telling the world who you are without saying a word. but it’s also discipline. and commitment. if you’re serious about this, i’ll push you. i’ll make sure you’re challenged. does that sound like something you’re ready for?”

your heart beats faster. his intensity is palpable, and it’s hard not to be swept up in it. “yes,” you say, though the word comes out softer than you intended. “i’m ready.”

he regards you for a moment longer, then reaches into his bag, pulling out a small sketchbook and a piece of charcoal. “we’ll start with something simple,” he says, handing you the charcoal. “i want you to draw me.”

you blink, surprised. “draw you?”

“it’s a good exercise,” he explains, moving to stand a little distance away. “if you can capture the essence of a person, you can draw anything.”

your fingers tighten around the charcoal as you sit at the easel, facing him. it feels strange, having him as the subject. his features are sharp, defined, but there’s something else—an intensity in his gaze that makes it hard to concentrate. you take a deep breath and begin to sketch, the sound of the charcoal scratching against the canvas the only sound in the room.

it’s not easy. his face is a study in contrasts—strong jawline, soft eyes, dark brows furrowed in concentration as he watches you work. you find yourself getting lost in the details, trying to capture the exact curve of his lips, the shadow beneath his cheekbone. but the more you focus, the more elusive it becomes.

“you’re overthinking it,” jay says suddenly, breaking the silence. he moves behind you, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his body, though he doesn’t touch you. “you’re focusing on the parts, not the whole. step back. see the bigger picture.”

you try to follow his advice, but his presence behind you is distracting, and the scent of him—earthy, with a hint of something fresh—fills your senses. your heart beats faster, though you try to ignore it.

jay steps closer, his breath warm against your ear. “here,” he says softly, reaching out to guide your hand. his fingers brush yours, sending a jolt through your body, and you almost drop the charcoal. “loosen your grip. let the lines flow.”

you do as he says, though your heart races at his nearness. his hand lingers over yours for a moment too long before he pulls away, but the connection between you doesn’t fade. the air feels charged, as if something unsaid hangs between you.

when you finish the sketch, it’s rough, imperfect, but there’s something there—a spark of life, of emotion. jay leans over your shoulder to examine it, his expression unreadable.

“better,” he says after a moment, his voice low and approving. “you’ve captured something real here.”

you look at the drawing again, trying to see what he sees, but all you can think about is the way his hand felt over yours, the way his voice seemed to wrap around you like a secret.

as he moves to gather his things, you realise that this is just the beginning. the first lesson. but already, something has shifted between you. something neither of you can name yet, but it’s there—in the shared glances, the lingering touches, the unspoken connection.

and as jay turns to leave, promising to return for your next lesson, you can’t help but wonder if this is really just about art—or if something far more dangerous has already begun.

the days following your first lesson with jay felt like a strange new rhythm. art had always been a deeply personal escape for you, something that existed in the quiet moments between royal duties, but now it had become something more. each session with jay stirred something inside you—not just the desire to improve, but a spark of something you couldn't quite name.

jay had been nothing but professional, his focus always on your craft. but beneath his calm demeanour, there was an undercurrent, a kind of intensity in the way he looked at you during your lessons. it was subtle, barely noticeable, but it was there, like the brushstrokes of a painting hidden beneath layers of paint.

today, as you enter the studio, you feel it more than ever. the room is bathed in soft light, the kind of glow that makes everything seem warmer, softer. jay is already there, setting up supplies on the table, his back to you. you watch him for a moment, your eyes tracing the broad lines of his shoulders, the way his hands move with such precision and care.

“good morning,” you say, finally breaking the silence. your voice comes out softer than you intended, the room swallowing the sound.

he turns, a brief smile crossing his face. “good morning.” there’s a hint of warmth in his tone, but as always, it’s controlled, measured. jay has never been one to show too much emotion, though lately, you’ve caught glimpses of something more.

“i thought we’d try something different today,” he says, gesturing to the large canvas in the corner of the room. “i want to work on your observation skills.”

you nod, intrigued. “what do you have in mind?”

instead of answering immediately, jay picks up a chair and places it in the centre of the room, angled toward the sunlight. he then takes his sketchbook and charcoal, positioning himself in front of the chair but far enough away that there’s space between you.

“i want you to sit,” he says simply, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before flickering away. “i’m going to sketch you.”

the request catches you off guard. “me? but... shouldn’t i be the one practising sketching?”

he smiles faintly, shaking his head. “today, i want you to feel what it’s like to be the subject. to understand how the artist sees you.” he glances at the canvas, and then back at you. “it’ll help you observe the world around you with more empathy, more connection.”

the thought of jay watching you, studying you so closely, makes your heart race. you’ve always been behind the canvas, never in front of it. to have his eyes on you, not just in passing but with the intention of capturing every detail—it feels strangely vulnerable.

but you trust him. there’s something about jay that puts you at ease, even when you’re unsure of yourself. so, you sit in the chair, adjusting your posture slightly, your hands resting in your lap.

“relax,” he says softly, his voice gentle. “you don’t have to pose. just be yourself.”

you try to do as he says, leaning back into the chair, though your heart is beating a little faster now. the room is quiet except for the faint scratch of his charcoal on the page, and you’re acutely aware of his gaze as it moves over you—your face, your hands, the way the light falls on your hair.

he works silently, his brow furrowed in concentration, and you find yourself watching him, trying to read the expression on his face. there’s a softness there that you hadn’t noticed before, a kind of careful attention that feels almost… tender.

for a while, neither of you speaks. you’re not sure how long has passed—minutes? hours? time seems to lose its meaning in this space, as if the world outside the studio doesn’t exist.

“so you want to pursue art huh?” jay’s voice breaks the silence, and you blink, surprised by the question.

“yes” you reply, shifting slightly in the chair.

he doesn’t look up from his sketch. “why did you choose art? out of everything you could have pursued?”

the question is one you’ve asked yourself many times. you think back to your childhood, to the afternoons spent sneaking away from your tutors to draw in the gardens, the way art always felt like a safe space in a world full of expectations.

“i think… it’s because art lets me be free,” you say slowly, choosing your words carefully. “in everything else, i’m the princess. i have to be perfect, poised, controlled. but with art, i can be messy. i can make mistakes. it’s mine.”

jay pauses, his hand hovering over the sketchbook for a moment before he continues. “freedom is important,” he says quietly. “especially for someone like you.”

there’s something in his tone, a weight to his words, and you wonder what he means by that. does he understand what it’s like to feel trapped by expectations? to want something more, something beyond the roles you’ve been given?

before you can ask, jay looks up, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since he started sketching. his gaze is intense, but not in a way that makes you uncomfortable. it’s more like he’s seeing you, really seeing you, in a way that no one else ever has.

“you have a natural grace,” he says softly, almost as if speaking to himself. “but it’s more than that. there’s something… untamed about you.”

your breath catches in your throat. no one has ever spoken to you like that before. not with such quiet certainty, as if they’ve seen beyond the surface of who you are.

you don’t know what to say. the air in the room feels heavier now, charged with something you can’t quite name. you shift in your seat, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze, but jay’s expression remains calm, thoughtful.

he tilts his head slightly, observing you with the same intensity he’s had since the beginning of the lesson. “there’s more to art than technique,” he says, his voice low. “it’s about connection. about understanding the person you’re drawing, not just how they look, but who they are.”

his words stir something inside you—a sense of being understood in a way you’ve never experienced before. you’re not just a princess in this room, not just another student. you’re you, with all your complexities and contradictions, and somehow, jay has seen that.

it makes you feel exposed in a way you hadn’t anticipated, and yet there’s a comfort in it, too. you’ve spent your whole life hiding parts of yourself, but with jay, it feels like you don’t have to.

finally, he sets the sketchbook aside, standing up and crossing the room to where you’re seated. he doesn’t hand you the sketch immediately, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s unsure about showing it to you.

“you can tell a lot about a person by how they draw,” he says quietly, standing in front of you now, his gaze unwavering. “but you can tell even more by how they let themselves be seen.”

your pulse quickens, the weight of his words settling deep within you. it’s not just about the sketch anymore—it’s about everything. the way you’ve been navigating these lessons, the way you’ve been letting him into your world, piece by piece.

he holds out the sketch to you, and when you take it, your fingers brush against his, a fleeting touch that lingers in your mind longer than it should.

the drawing is beautiful. he’s captured you in a way that feels both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. there’s a softness to your expression, a quiet strength in the lines of your face, and yet… there’s something else. something deeper.

“it’s beautiful,” you whisper, tracing the lines with your fingertips. “i’ve never seen myself like this before.”

jay watches you carefully, his expression unreadable. “that’s because no one’s ever looked at you like this before.”

the words hit you like a gentle wave, their meaning sinking in slowly. you glance up at him, unsure of how to respond. there’s a new tension between you now, but it’s not the kind that comes from desire or rushed feelings. it’s deeper than that—a connection, a shared understanding that goes beyond mere attraction.

for a moment, you sit in silence, the sketch resting in your lap as the light from the window shifts slightly, casting long shadows across the room. you can feel the change in the air, but neither of you moves to break it.

and as jay steps back, giving you space, you realise that this—whatever it is—will take time to fully unfold. you’re not rushing toward anything, but there’s something between you now, something real and undeniable.

but for now, you’ll let it simmer. there’s no need to rush. not yet.

the days have passed like pages in a book, each art lesson with jay slowly building a tension that you feel in the very air of the studio. his presence is constant but controlled, his touch fleeting yet always careful. you’ve found yourself looking forward to these lessons more than you’d ever anticipated, though not only for the sake of art. something else draws you here each time, something that’s harder to admit even to yourself.

when you arrive at the studio today, the familiar scent of paint and canvas greets you, mingling with the crisp morning air. jay is there, of course, already preparing the materials, his back to you as he arranges brushes and bottles of linseed oil. the sun filters in through the tall windows, casting long beams across the room, turning everything into shades of gold. today feels different, though you can’t quite pinpoint why.

he turns as you approach, offering you a brief smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "good morning," he says, his voice as calm and composed as ever, though you think you detect a slight hesitancy behind his words.

"good morning," you reply, your heart already beating a little faster. the last few lessons have been charged with a new energy, a subtle yet undeniable pull between the two of you. you've tried to keep your thoughts focused on the art, but with each session, it’s become harder.

jay steps over to the large canvas he’s set up for today’s lesson. "we’re going to work on technique," he explains, holding up a palette of mixed colours, the vibrant hues blending like a sunset in his hands. "i want you to feel the texture of the paint, how the brush moves against the canvas. it’s all about control and release."

you nod, though the concept seems easier said than done. painting has always been more of a challenge for you, especially when it comes to finding that balance. jay, however, has a way of guiding you through each step without ever making you feel inadequate.

"let’s start with the basics," he says, handing you a brush. his fingers brush against yours for the briefest moment, and you feel a spark travel up your arm, though you’re sure he doesn’t notice.

you position yourself in front of the canvas, trying to steady your breathing as you dip the brush into the paint. the first few strokes are tentative, careful. you focus on the movement of your hand, but your mind is distracted by the weight of jay’s presence behind you. it’s as if the air in the room has thickened, every sound, every movement, magnified.

jay watches in silence for a few moments, then steps closer, so close that you can feel the warmth of his body behind you. "here," he murmurs softly, his voice right beside your ear. "let me show you."

before you can respond, he places his hands lightly on your waist, adjusting your stance. the touch is firm but gentle, and it sends a shockwave through your body. your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you’re hyper-aware of every point of contact—his hands on your hips, the warmth of his chest just inches from your back.

"relax," he whispers, his voice low and calming, though you can hear a slight strain in it, like he’s carefully keeping something in check. "you’re too tense."

easier said than done. you can barely think straight with him so close, let alone concentrate on the canvas. but you try, forcing yourself to take a breath, to focus on the task at hand. jay doesn’t move away. instead, he steps even closer, his chest nearly brushing your back as he moves his hands from your waist to your arm, guiding your wrist as you hold the brush.

"feel the paint," he says, his breath warm against your ear. "don’t fight it. let it flow."

his hand wraps around yours, firm but careful, and he moves your arm in a slow, fluid motion. the brush glides across the canvas with ease, the paint spreading in smooth, even strokes. his touch is light but deliberate, and you find yourself following his lead, your body responding to the way he directs the movement.

"you’re doing well," he murmurs, and you can feel his breath against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "just like that."

the room feels smaller, the air thicker, as if the space between you is shrinking with each passing second. you try to focus on the canvas, but it’s impossible with jay so close. his presence is overwhelming, consuming, and you’re acutely aware of every shift, every movement.

"you don’t need to force it," he continues, his voice barely above a whisper now, his lips dangerously close to your ear. "let the brush move with you."

you nod, though your throat is too dry to speak. the closeness between you is intoxicating, and you can feel the tension building with each breath you take. jay’s hand tightens slightly around yours, and for a moment, you wonder if he feels it too—the pull, the unspoken connection that seems to have grown stronger with each lesson.

he guides your hand in another slow stroke across the canvas, but this time, the brush slips slightly, leaving a streak of paint that’s a little too heavy. you let out a soft, frustrated sigh, but jay only chuckles, the sound low and warm.

"don’t worry about perfection," he says, his voice rumbling in your ear. "art isn’t about being perfect. it’s about feeling."

his hand lingers on yours a moment longer before he lets go, stepping back slightly. the sudden absence of his touch leaves you feeling off-balance, as if the ground beneath you has shifted. you exhale a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and lower the brush, your heart still racing.

"good," jay says, his voice a little more distant now as he moves back to the table. "you’re getting better. it’s all about control and release, but it takes time to find that balance."

you nod, though your mind is still reeling from the intensity of the moment. you’ve never felt so aware of your body, of your own reactions, as you do when jay is close like that. it’s as though he knows exactly how to touch you, how to guide you, without ever crossing the line—but just barely.

you place the brush down on the easel, turning to face him. jay is busy cleaning the palette, his face unreadable as he focuses on the task. but there’s something different about the way he holds himself, a tension in his posture that wasn’t there before.

"thank you," you say softly, breaking the silence that has settled between you. your voice sounds a little shaky, but you hope he doesn’t notice.

he glances up at you, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before flickering away. "it’s my job," he replies, but there’s something in his tone—something almost… uncertain.

the silence that follows is heavy, filled with the unspoken tension that has been growing between you for weeks. you can feel it in the way he looks at you, in the way his hands linger just a little too long when he helps you. it’s as though you’re both standing at the edge of something, but neither of you knows how to take the next step.

finally, jay sets the palette down and steps back, putting a little more distance between you. "we’ll keep working on this," he says, his voice returning to its usual composed tone. "you’re improving, but there’s still more to learn."

you nod, feeling a little breathless, though you’re not sure if it’s from the painting or from the closeness you just shared. "i’ll keep practising," you say, though the words feel almost trivial in the weight of the moment.

jay gives you a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "good," he says softly, before turning back to his brushes. "we’ll pick up again tomorrow."

you linger for a moment, watching him as he carefully cleans the paint from his hands, his movements precise and controlled. and as you leave the studio, you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed between you, something that neither of you can ignore for much longer.

the pottery studio feels different today. the atmosphere is heavy, thick with anticipation, but you try to ignore it as you sit at the wheel, your hands already messy with clay. the wheel spins slowly beneath your fingers, but no matter how many times you’ve tried, the clay refuses to cooperate, collapsing into a lump before you can give it any real shape. you groan in frustration, watching another failed attempt crumble under your touch.

“take your time. it’s all about feeling the clay, not controlling it,” jay says softly from behind you, his voice calm but carrying that familiar undercurrent of something unspoken. he’s watching closely, his presence as steady as always, but today it feels more intense—like a subtle hum in the air that makes the space between you vibrate with tension.

you sigh, wiping your hands on your apron. "i don’t think i’m getting this at all," you mutter, staring down at the shapeless mound on the wheel. pottery has proven to be a far bigger challenge than painting—there’s something about the unpredictability of the clay that throws you off balance.

jay steps closer, his footsteps almost silent on the studio floor. "you’re too tense," he observes, his voice low and measured. "let me show you."

before you can respond, he’s already moving behind you. the air shifts as his body nears, and suddenly, you can feel the heat of him pressing close. he slides onto the bench behind you, his legs on either side of yours. the intimate position makes your heart race instantly, your pulse quickening in response to his proximity. his chest brushes your back, his breath warm on the side of your neck, and suddenly it’s hard to focus on anything other than how close he is.

he pauses his movements. “is it okay if i sit behind you like this? i may need to touch your hands as well.”

you nod at his soft words, “yes that’s alright.”

the studio feels smaller, the world outside forgotten as you’re enveloped by his presence. you can feel the solid warmth of his chest against your spine, the way his thighs gently cage yours. every point of contact feels electric, the tension simmering between you palpable.

“relax,” he murmurs, his voice almost a whisper, low and soothing. his breath brushes the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “you’re trying too hard to control it. you have to let the clay respond to your touch.”

his hands move to cover yours, his fingers sliding over your clay-streaked knuckles. his touch is firm but gentle, guiding your hands to the wheel as it starts spinning once again. the sensation of his fingers wrapping around yours sends a ripple of awareness through your body, and for a moment, all you can focus on is the warmth of his skin, the weight of his hands over yours.

"feel the clay," jay instructs, his voice quiet but filled with intent. his breath is warm against your ear, and the proximity, the intimacy of the moment, makes it nearly impossible to concentrate. "it moves with you. let it guide you."

his hands press lightly against yours, directing your fingers as they glide over the surface of the clay. the wheel turns slowly beneath your palms, the soft texture of the clay smoothing out under the pressure. you try to focus on the task at hand, but the sensation of his body against yours—the gentle weight of his chest pressed to your back, his legs framing yours—is overwhelming. the world narrows down to the feel of his touch, the sound of his steady breath so close to your ear.

"you need to feel the shape," jay continues, his voice lower now, more intimate. his hands move with yours, guiding your fingers as they dip into the soft clay. his touch is deliberate, patient, and it feels like he’s not just teaching you pottery, but something deeper, something far more personal.

your hands move together as you both shape the clay, your fingers sliding inside the hollow of the vase. the action is slow, almost sensual, and the suggestiveness of the movement doesn’t escape you. the pressure of his fingers over yours, the way his hands direct yours in shaping the delicate interior, feels too intimate, too deliberate. the tension that has been building for weeks now feels almost unbearable.

your breath quickens, your heart hammering in your chest, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks. jay’s chest presses more firmly against your back as his hands guide you deeper into the clay, shaping it from within. his fingers dip, mirroring yours, and the act of molding the vase becomes something far more intimate than you could have ever anticipated.

"just like that," jay whispers, his voice huskier than before, his breath hot against your ear. his hands slow, his fingers lingering on yours as you move together. the wheel spins quietly, the clay yielding to your touch, but it’s hard to focus on the art when the closeness between you feels like it’s about to explode into something more.

you can feel every movement of his chest against your back, the rise and fall of his breath growing uneven. the heat of his body is overwhelming, making it nearly impossible to concentrate on the clay. your pulse is racing, and you’re certain he can feel the way your body trembles slightly under his touch.

suddenly, you realise you can feel his heart. it’s beating erratically against your spine, matching the rapid rhythm of your own. the awareness crashes over you like a wave—he’s feeling it too. the tension, the pull between you, it’s not just in your head. his hands tighten slightly over yours, his chest pressing more firmly against your back, and for a fleeting moment, it feels like the world is tilting.

you bite your lip, trying to keep your breathing steady, but it’s impossible with him so close, with the weight of his body grounding you while simultaneously setting you on fire. your fingers dip into the clay once more, but all you can feel is the warmth of his hands over yours, the way his presence fills every corner of your mind.

jay’s breath hitches, barely audible, but you hear it. you feel it. the tension between you has been simmering for weeks, and now it’s at a boiling point, undeniable and heavy.

after what feels like an eternity, jay finally pulls his hands away, the absence of his touch leaving you cold and disoriented. his chest moves away from your back, and he stands slowly, as if he, too, is struggling to shake off the intensity of the moment.

"good work," he says, his voice quieter than usual, almost strained. he steps away from the wheel, his hands clenching and unclenching as though he’s trying to regain his composure.

you remain seated, your hands still coated in clay, your heart still racing. the silence between you is thick with everything unsaid. you can still feel the echo of his hands on yours, the warmth of his body lingering against your skin.

finally, you glance over your shoulder, your eyes searching his face for some kind of answer, some indication of what he’s thinking. but jay’s expression is unreadable, his gaze fixed on the now-complete vase on the wheel.

"you did well," he repeats, though his tone is quieter, almost distant. there’s something unresolved in the air, something that neither of you dares to acknowledge aloud.

as you stand, your legs unsteady, you can’t help but feel that something between you has shifted irreversibly. the line you’ve both been walking for weeks feels dangerously close to being crossed, and the question now is whether either of you is ready to take that step.

the last day of your art lessons starts with a sense of melancholy that you try to push away. you know that this will be your final session with jay, and although you’ve learned more than you could have imagined, the thought of no longer spending time with him feels like a loss. he greets you at the studio with his usual warm smile, but there’s something different about him today—a lightness that wasn’t there before.

“we’re not staying inside today,” jay says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i figured we’ve done enough of that. you’ve been using my supplies, so i thought it’s time you get your own.”

you blink, surprised by the suggestion. “you mean we’re going shopping?”

he nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “you deserve your own tools. besides, i want to show you my favourite spots.”

the idea excites you more than you’d expected. it feels intimate, personal—like he’s sharing a part of himself with you outside the confines of the studio. and so, you follow him out into the bustling streets, the city alive with activity as you walk side by side, the sky overhead a muted grey that promises rain.

the first shop is a small, unassuming place tucked between two larger storefronts, and you wouldn’t have noticed it if jay hadn’t pointed it out. inside, it’s a treasure trove of art supplies—shelves stacked high with paints, brushes, and sketchpads of every kind. the scent of paper and wood fills the air, and you can’t help but feel a little like a child in a candy store, overwhelmed by the endless possibilities.

jay moves through the aisles with ease, clearly at home here. he picks up brushes, testing their weight in his hand before handing them to you to feel. “this one’s perfect for detail work,” he says, holding up a fine-tipped brush. “and this,” he adds, pulling out a thicker, more rugged one, “is for broader strokes, more expression.”

you watch him as he speaks, his voice low and sure, and you find yourself more captivated by him than the tools he’s showing you. there’s something about the way his hands move with such confidence, the way he seems to understand the soul of each item, that draws you in. it’s a side of him you haven’t seen before, one that’s less restrained, more passionate.

he catches you staring, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “what?”

you quickly look away, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “nothing,” you mumble, pretending to examine the brushes in front of you.

but you can’t hide your growing admiration for him, and you suspect he knows it. he moves closer, his arm brushing lightly against yours as he reaches for a set of soft pastels. “try these,” he says, handing them to you. “i think they’ll suit your style.”

you take the pastels from him, your fingers brushing against his in the exchange, and for a moment, the air between you feels charged. you swallow hard, trying to focus on the colours in your hand rather than the way his touch lingers in your mind.

from there, you move to the next shop, a slightly larger one filled with canvases of all sizes and shapes. jay pulls you toward a display of stretched canvas frames, explaining the difference between cotton and linen, the various textures and how they interact with different mediums. he talks with such enthusiasm that you can’t help but smile, his passion contagious.

“pick a few,” he says, gesturing to the rows of canvases. “you’re going to need a variety if you want to keep experimenting.”

you nod, feeling a sense of freedom in the choice. as you select your canvases, jay hovers nearby, occasionally offering suggestions but mostly watching with a quiet intensity that makes your skin prickle. you wonder what he’s thinking, whether he’s just as aware of the subtle tension that’s been growing between you over the weeks.

the third shop is more modern, filled with high-end supplies—gorgeous palettes of oil paints in jewel tones, sleek metal easels, and handcrafted wooden boxes for storing brushes. it’s clear jay has saved the best for last, and as you wander the aisles together, he shows you some of his favourites, his voice soft and reverent as he talks about the craftsmanship behind each item.

“i’ve always wanted one of these,” you say, running your fingers over a beautiful wooden palette, its smooth surface gleaming under the soft light. “it’s almost too nice to use.”

jay grins, standing beside you as he watches you admire it. “you should get it,” he says, his voice warm. “every artist needs something that feels special, something that inspires them to create.”

his words send a shiver through you, and you glance at him, the closeness between you suddenly palpable. the quiet intimacy of the moment, standing together in the softly lit store, surrounded by the tools of your shared passion, feels heavy with something unspoken. you nod, slipping the palette into your basket, trying to shake the fluttering in your chest.

as you leave the last shop, your arms full of bags and supplies, the sky opens up, releasing a sudden torrent of rain. the drops fall fast and heavy, soaking you within moments. you yelp in surprise, pulling your hood over your head, but it’s no use—you’re drenched almost immediately.

jay laughs, a rich sound that cuts through the noise of the rain. “looks like we’re in for it!” he shouts over the downpour, his hair already dripping wet as he holds a hand out to catch the rain.

you can’t help but laugh, your spirits lifting despite the sudden storm. the two of you stand in the rain for a moment, looking at each other, before jay suddenly grabs your hand.

“come on!” he says, pulling you into a run.

you follow him, laughing breathlessly as you race through the rain-soaked streets, splashing through puddles and dodging other passersby who huddle under umbrellas and awnings. the bags of art supplies jostle against your sides, but you barely notice, too caught up in the exhilaration of running with him through the storm.

the rain comes down harder, drenching you completely, your clothes clinging to your body and your hair sticking to your face. but none of it matters—you’re both laughing, the world around you a blur as you sprint through the narrow streets, your hand still held tightly in his.

jay pulls you into a narrow alleyway, ducking under a stone archway for shelter. it’s barely enough to shield you from the rain, but you’re both out of breath, giggling uncontrollably as you lean against the cold stone walls.

you’re both soaked, your clothes dripping water onto the ground, but the warmth between you is undeniable. jay’s hair is plastered to his forehead, droplets sliding down his face as he looks at you, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

you can feel the heat radiating from his body, even through the dampness of your clothes. you’re pressed so close to him in the narrow space that you can feel the tension building, the awareness of every inch of space between you—or rather, the lack of it.

jay’s laughter fades as his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the air between you shifts. his gaze softens, his usual playful demeanour replaced by something more serious, more intense. you’re both still, the rain beating down around you, but inside this tiny archway, it feels like time has slowed.

he reaches up, his fingers brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, and the simple gesture sends a shiver down your spine. his hand lingers by your cheek, and you can feel the warmth of his touch even through the coolness of the rain.

for a moment, neither of you say anything, the space between you heavy with everything that’s gone unsaid. you can feel your heart racing, your breath catching in your throat as his eyes drop to your lips for just a second, but it’s enough to make your pulse quicken.

then, without thinking, without hesitation, he leans in.

the kiss is slow at first—tentative, as though he’s testing the waters. his lips brush against yours softly, almost delicately, and for a moment, it feels like the world stops. the rain, the city, everything fades away, and all that exists is the warmth of his mouth on yours, the softness of his kiss.

your heart stutters, your body frozen for a split second before you kiss him back, your hands finding their way to his chest. the kiss deepens, and the tension that’s been building between you for weeks unravels in a rush of heat and longing. his hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer, and you respond in kind, pressing into him as though you can’t get close enough.

the rain falls around you, forgotten, as you lose yourself in the kiss. there’s a desperation to it, like neither of you knows when—or if—you’ll ever get this chance again. it’s intoxicating, overwhelming, and everything you’ve been holding back spills out in that single kiss.

when you finally pull away, breathless, jay rests his forehead against yours, his hands still holding you close as though he’s afraid to let go. you’re both panting, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath, but you can’t seem to move, can’t seem to break the connection between you.

the kiss lingers in the air, an invisible thread still tying you to jay even as the rain continues to fall. his forehead rests against yours, his breath shallow and quick, matching the erratic rhythm of your heart. for a moment, everything feels right, the world outside forgotten, the storm cocooning you in your own little universe.

but then something shifts. you feel it in the way his grip on your waist tightens briefly before loosening, in the way his eyes darken, filled with a sorrow that cuts through the joy of the moment.

he pulls back, just a fraction, enough to put space between you but not enough to break the connection entirely. his gaze drops to the ground, as though he can’t bear to meet your eyes.

“we… we can’t,” jay whispers, his voice heavy with regret.

the words hit you like cold water, the warmth of the kiss suddenly feeling distant. “what do you mean?” your voice is soft, confused, almost pleading. you take a step closer, unwilling to let him slip away. “jay, what are you saying?”

he sighs, running a hand through his damp hair, his shoulders tense. “you know what i mean,” he says quietly. “you’re a princess. you belong to a world of crowns and thrones, and i… i’m just your art teacher.”

you shake your head, the rain beginning to soak through your clothes, but you hardly notice. “i don’t care about that! my parents wouldn’t either. jay, this—this connection we have, it’s real. you can’t just pretend it isn’t.”

his eyes finally meet yours, and for a moment, you see the same longing reflected in them. but then he looks away again, his jaw tightening. “maybe your parents wouldn’t care, but i do. i won’t let you throw away your life for me. you have responsibilities, a future. i can’t be the reason you turn your back on all of that.”

your heart aches at his words, at the way he’s trying to protect you even as it tears you both apart. you reach for his hand, holding it tightly. “you’re not asking me to give anything up. i’m telling you what i want. you. you’re what i want, jay.”

he looks at your hand in his, and for a second, he doesn’t move, as though he’s frozen between what he wants and what he believes is right. “you don’t understand,” he says quietly. “you’re used to a life of luxury. i can’t give you that. i won’t let you settle for less.”

the frustration bubbles up inside you, mixing with the hurt. “it’s not about that. it never was. do you really think any of that matters to me if i’m not happy?”

jay’s gaze softens, but the doubt lingers in his eyes, a shadow of the barriers between you. “i need time,” he says, his voice pained. “i need to think about this.”

you bite your lip, the tears you’ve been holding back threatening to spill. “take all the time you need. just… don’t take too long. please.”

he nods, his face filled with a mix of guilt and sorrow. then, like the gentleman he is, he steps closer, offering you his arm. “let me take you home,” he says softly, his voice carrying a tenderness that only deepens the ache in your chest.

the walk back to the palace is quiet, both of you wrapped in your own thoughts, the sound of the rain the only noise between you. his arm around yours feels protective, grounding, but it’s bittersweet knowing that he’s still holding a part of himself back.

when you finally reach the palace gates, jay pauses, turning to face you. the light from the lanterns casts a soft glow over his features, and for a moment, it feels like time stands still.

“goodnight, princess,” he says, his voice gentle, though there’s an unmistakable distance in his tone now.

you look up at him, wanting to say something—anything—to make him stay, to convince him that this is worth fighting for. but the words stick in your throat. instead, you nod, forcing a small smile despite the heaviness in your heart.

“goodnight, jay.”

he gives you a final, lingering glance before turning and walking away, the rain continuing to fall as his figure disappears into the night. you stand there for a long time, watching him go, your heart aching with every step he takes.

as you finally turn and walk inside, the warmth of the palace feels stifling compared to the cool rain outside. the emptiness left in jay’s wake presses down on you, and the realisation that you might not see him again for a while hits you like a blow.

in the days that follow, the quiet is suffocating. you try to fill your time with painting, with other lessons and royal duties, but nothing seems to lift the weight pressing on your chest. each moment stretches on, and the palace, usually filled with the comfort of familiarity, now feels hollow without him.

your parents notice your change in mood but don’t pry, their knowing glances suggesting they’re aware that something more than art is on your mind. still, you keep jay’s name on the tip of your tongue, unable to speak it without feeling the ache of uncertainty.

and so, you wait. you wait for a letter, for a word from him—anything to tell you that he hasn’t let go, that he’s still thinking about you as much as you are about him. but with each passing day, the silence only grows louder, the doubt harder to ignore.

what if he doesn’t come back? what if he decides you aren’t worth the risk?

the thought makes your heart tighten painfully. you sit in your art studio, staring at an unfinished painting, the brush limp in your hand, as you wonder if jay is fighting the same battle within himself.

it feels like an eternity has passed since that rainy day, since that kiss that felt like the world shifted. and now, all you can do is hope that he finds his way back to you before it’s too late.

the days stretch long and quiet after that night in the rain, and the distance between you and jay feels more unbearable with each passing moment. you keep replaying his words, the look in his eyes, the way he had kissed you—like he wanted to hold on forever but didn’t know if he should.

you throw yourself into your art, hoping the colours and brushstrokes will distract you from the weight of his absence. but the empty space he’s left behind is hard to ignore, especially as you finish the final piece you’d been working on for weeks—a vibrant painting of a parisian street, your future awaiting you there.

paris. the word itself sounds like a dream. the trip is supposed to happen soon—your long-awaited opportunity to study art in the heart of a city known for its creativity and beauty. it’s everything you’ve worked toward, yet now the thought of leaving without jay feels hollow.

what was once the pinnacle of your aspirations now feels incomplete. you had imagined this adventure, this new chapter of your life, and pictured jay being a part of it. but now, with his silence lingering between you, you’re uncertain of whether he’ll still be there when it begins.

sitting at your desk, you stare down at the blank parchment, the quill hovering in your hand. you haven’t spoken to jay since he walked away that night, but you can’t bear to leave for paris without reaching out, without giving him one last chance to understand how much he means to you.

the words come slowly at first, but then they start to pour out, your emotions and thoughts spilling onto the page.

dear jay, it feels strange writing to you after all this time—after all the moments we shared that now seem so far away. i’ve been thinking about what you said that night, about how we come from different worlds, about the future you think i deserve. but you need to know that none of it matters to me if you’re not a part of it. i’ve wanted this trip to paris for as long as i can remember, to learn from the best, to immerse myself in art and culture. it’s something i’ve dreamed about for years. and yet, now, as the day of my departure gets closer, all i can think about is you. i don’t want to go to paris and leave you behind, wondering what could have been. you’re as much a part of my passion for art as any paintbrush or canvas. you’ve shown me new ways to see the world, to express myself, and i’ll always be grateful for that. but more than that, you’ve become someone i can’t imagine my life without. i know you think i’m giving up too much, that i’m risking my future. but my future isn’t just about royal duties or titles. it’s about choosing the life i want—and i choose you, jay. i wish you could see that. paris is calling, but so are you. i can only hope that when you think of me, it’s with the same longing that fills every moment of my days without you. i hope that when you think of our time together, you’ll realise that this isn’t about status or sacrifice—it’s about love. i’ll be leaving soon after my birthday, but before i go, i need to know: will you come with me? or will i have to leave you behind? with love, [your name]

after sealing the letter, your heart is heavy with both hope and fear. you send it to jay, knowing that the next move is his. each day that passes without a response stretches the wait longer, the ache of uncertainty growing.

you try to stay busy with preparations for your trip, packing supplies and finishing your artwork. your parents notice the change in you—the excitement for paris dimmed by something you can’t quite bring yourself to share with them yet. they ask if you’re nervous, if you’re ready for the adventure, and you smile, telling them what they want to hear. but deep down, all you want is to hear from jay.

paris is just around the corner, but so is the decision you’re waiting for—the choice that could change everything.

the ballroom is a swirl of colour and laughter, filled with nobles, artists, and well-wishers all gathered to celebrate your birthday. the chandeliers above glitter like stars, casting a golden glow over the elegant space, and the music weaves through the conversations like a living thing, light and joyous. your parents spared no expense for this occasion, not only to mark your birthday but also to celebrate the upcoming adventure to paris.

it’s your birthday ball, but your mind is elsewhere, your heart tugged toward a memory that refuses to leave. you stand in front of your painting, the centrepiece of the night, hanging proudly on display for all to see. nobles and artists alike gather around it, marvelling at the vivid colours and delicate brushstrokes. you nod and smile politely as they offer praise, but inside, your thoughts are distant, wandering to a day not long ago when everything felt simpler.

the painting is of the marketplace—a bustling, lively scene full of energy and warmth. it’s the day you and jay had gone shopping together for art supplies, the day you let yourselves be ordinary, blending in with the crowds. the colours are bright and rich, capturing the vibrant chaos of the market: vendors calling out, the smell of freshly baked bread, the sound of coins clinking and people bartering for goods. in the corner of the canvas, nestled in the shadows of an alley, is a small, quiet space. it’s where you and jay had shared a moment away from the crowd, a stolen minute of peace amidst the noise, where the world had seemed to slow just for the two of you.

every brushstroke is infused with that memory—the warmth of the sun on your skin, the soft brush of his hand as he reached for yours, the unspoken connection that had blossomed between you in that hidden corner of the market. it was a day that felt like freedom, a glimpse of something more, something forbidden but undeniably real.

“your highness, it’s simply breathtaking,” someone says beside you, pulling you momentarily back to the present. a noblewoman in an exquisite gown stands at your side, her eyes wide with admiration as she gazes at the painting. “the light, the detail… it feels as though i’m standing there in the market myself.”

you nod and smile, offering a polite thank you, but her words barely register. all you can think about is him.

the weight of his absence has been heavy, pulling at your heart with every passing day, each one more difficult than the last. and now, on the night of your birthday, as you prepare to embark on a new chapter, all you can think about is the chapter you left unfinished.

you glance at the painting again, tracing the familiar lines of the marketplace, the hidden alley. that was the moment you knew there was something between you and jay, something more than just student and teacher, more than just friendship. it was the moment you allowed yourself to hope. but now, standing here alone, you wonder if that hope was misplaced.

and then, through the hum of voices and the soft strains of music, you hear it—a voice that sends a jolt through your entire body.

“you captured it perfectly.”

the sound of his voice makes the air around you seem to freeze. your heart skips a beat, your breath catching in your throat. slowly, you turn toward the source, and there he is—jay, standing just a few steps away, his eyes locked on the painting, his expression a mixture of awe and something deeper, something raw.

for a moment, you’re not sure if you’re dreaming. after weeks of waiting, of wondering, here he is, standing before you, his presence filling the space that had felt so empty without him. he looks different tonight—still himself, but dressed in a way that blends with the formality of the event. yet, there’s something in his posture, in the way his dark eyes flicker between you and the painting, that betrays the turmoil he’s been carrying.

“jay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. but he hears you, as he always does.

he takes a step closer, his gaze shifting to meet yours, and for a moment, the world around you disappears. the ballroom, the guests, the music—it all fades into the background, leaving only the two of you in this fragile, suspended moment.

his eyes soften as they take you in, and there’s a vulnerability in his expression that you hadn’t seen before, something that makes your heart ache even more. “you remembered,” he says quietly, gesturing toward the painting. “the marketplace. that day.”

you nod, your throat tightening. “how could i forget? it was…” you pause, searching for the right words, but nothing seems adequate. “it was perfect.”

jay’s gaze lingers on the painting, as though seeing the memory play out all over again. his lips part, but no words come. instead, he takes another step toward you, his presence so close now that you can feel the pull between you—the unspoken tension that had simmered just beneath the surface for so long.

“i’ve been thinking about that day,” he says, his voice low and rough. “about us.”

your heart hammers in your chest. “and?”

his eyes flicker with a mix of emotions—regret, longing, and something you can’t quite place. “i thought i could stay away. that it would be easier, safer, for both of us. but i couldn’t.” his voice wavers, just slightly, and the vulnerability in it makes your pulse race. “not tonight.”

you swallow, your chest tight with the weight of everything left unsaid. the distance between you feels unbearably small, but also impossibly vast. he’s here. after all this time, he’s finally here. but the question still lingers, heavy in the air between you: what happens now?

just as you open your mouth to speak, to ask the questions that have been burning inside you for weeks, jay steps closer, his eyes locked on yours. the noise of the ballroom fades even further into the background, until all that’s left is him. and in that moment, with his gaze so full of emotion, you know that nothing has been forgotten. every stolen glance, every brush of hands, every whispered word—it’s all still there, between you, as real and undeniable as ever.

the night may be full of celebrations, but the only thing that matters is this: jay is here, and nothing will ever be the same again.

the grand ballroom continues to pulse with life around you, but the world feels quiet in the cocoon of jay’s presence. you haven’t even fully processed the fact that he’s here, standing in front of you after weeks of silence. his eyes—deep and full of an emotion you’ve longed to see—are fixed on you, as though he’s drinking in the sight of you, afraid to blink in case you disappear.

the weight of his absence, the unanswered letter, the uncertainty—it all rushes to the surface, but you force yourself to stay grounded in the moment. you open your mouth to speak, to ask the questions burning in your chest, but before you can, jay takes a step closer.

“you never stopped painting,” he says quietly, nodding toward the marketplace painting, his voice filled with a mix of awe and relief. “you’ve grown even more since i left.”

his words are a gentle balm to the ache in your heart, but they only skim the surface of what you truly want to know. you swallow hard, the emotions too thick in your throat to speak.

your breath hitches. “why didn’t you respond to my letter, jay?”

there’s a beat of silence before he looks away, the rawness of his feelings flickering across his face. “because i didn’t know if i was strong enough to walk away again,” he admits. “and i wasn’t sure if i could give you the life you deserve.”

“after everything we’ve been through, you still think i care about that?” you whisper, your voice trembling with the weight of all the unspoken words. “i just wanted you, jay. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.”

his jaw tightens, and he takes another step forward, closing the distance between you until his presence is overwhelming. “i couldn’t respond, because i knew that if i did, i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from coming back to you. and once i did, i’d never want to leave. but you… you have paris, you have a future.”

“and i want you to be part of that future,” you say, your voice stronger now. “i’ve had weeks to think about this, jay. i’m leaving soon, and i need to know where we stand before i go. please, just tell me how you feel.”

jay’s eyes flash with a storm of emotions—hesitation, fear, and something deeper, something that has been bubbling just beneath the surface. he reaches out slowly, his fingers brushing yours, the touch sending warmth rushing up your arm. “i’m terrified,” he admits in a voice so soft it makes your heart ache. “i’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and i don’t want to ruin it.”

“you won’t,” you say, stepping closer until your hands are fully entwined, your pulse quickening as his warmth floods your senses. “i don’t care about titles, status, or what anyone else thinks. you make me feel alive, jay. that’s all i need.”

his grip tightens on your hand, and for a moment, it seems like he’s grappling with the depth of what you’re offering. his breath comes in shallow, uneven bursts, as though he’s trying to hold himself together.

“i don’t want you to sacrifice everything for me,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “you’re a princess, destined for greatness, for a life most people can only dream of. i’m just... a man who paints.”

you step even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. “and that’s enough for me. more than enough.”

for a split second, he looks at you as though he can’t believe you’re real. but then, before you can say anything more, he steps forward, pulling you into his arms in one swift motion. the warmth of his body against yours is overwhelming, but in the best way, and as his arms wrap around you, holding you tightly, you feel the tension that’s been building between you melt away.

“i’m so sorry,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear as he holds you close. “for leaving. for making you wait.”

you close your eyes, leaning into him, your heart swelling with the relief of finally having him here. “you’re here now,” you murmur against his shoulder. “that’s all that matters.”

he pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands resting gently on your arms as his dark eyes meet yours. and in them, you see everything—the love he’s been holding back, the fear, the hope. “i love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “i’ve loved you since the first day we met, and i’ve been fighting it ever since. but i don’t want to fight it anymore.”

your heart swells at his words, the weight of them settling deep in your chest. “i love you, too,” you whisper, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you as you say the words out loud for the first time. “i always have.”

the smile that spreads across jay’s face is like sunlight breaking through clouds, and before you know it, he’s lifting you off the ground, spinning you around in a burst of joy and laughter. the world around you spins with him, but you don’t care—because for the first time in what feels like forever, everything is right. everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be.

when he finally sets you back down, your feet touching the ground once more, his hands stay on your waist, grounding you in the moment. his eyes, full of love and warmth, search yours, and for a second, neither of you speak. you don’t need to. the silence is filled with everything you’ve both been waiting for.

“i want to be with you,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “but i don’t want you to lose yourself for me.”

you smile, shaking your head. “i’m not losing anything. i’m gaining everything i’ve ever wanted.”

jay’s hand finds yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he looks at you, his gaze full of the future. “paris,” he says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “you’re still going?”

you nod, your heart racing at the thought of what’s to come. “i am. and i want you to come with me.”

he hesitates, just for a moment, as though the reality of what you’re asking is still sinking in. but then, his smile grows, and he nods, his grip on your hand tightening just slightly. “i’ll come with you. we’ll go together.”

your heart leaps at his words, the hope you’d been holding onto finally blossoming into something real. paris—together. it’s everything you’d dreamed of, everything you hadn’t dared to believe could happen. but now, standing here with jay, it’s all within reach.

“we’ll see the world,” he says, his voice soft but filled with excitement. “we’ll paint, we’ll live, we’ll—”

“we’ll be happy,” you finish for him, your smile widening as you lean into his touch.

he nods, his forehead resting gently against yours. “yes. we’ll be happy.”

and in that moment, as the ballroom buzzes with life around you, as the painting of your shared memory hangs on the wall behind you, you know it’s true. you and jay—together, free, and full of love. the world is yours, waiting to be explored. and with him by your side, you know that this is only the beginning.

as you stand there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the future stretches out before you like a blank canvas, waiting for you to fill it with all the colours of your love, your passion, and the adventures you’ll share. together, you’ll paint a life full of beauty, one brushstroke at a time.

and as the night fades and the dawn of a new chapter begins, you know—this is your happily ever after.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

taglist: @punchbug9-blog @firstclassjaylee @capri-cuntz @addictedtohobi @jaysfavoritegirl @yuniesluv @isa942572 @academiq @missychief1404 //the ones in bold could not be tagged for some reason :(

PLSS has anyone read jungwon wattpad called throat knive? i cant get it out of my head & still super sad about it😭🤧 im heary hurts💔

prince charming's mismatch

pairing: prince!heeseung x princess!reader

synopsis: you and prince heeseung have been rivals for as long as you can remember. what began as childhood clashes has grown into a deep-seated animosity over the years. but when your sister runs away on her wedding day, you're forced to take her place and marry heeseung—the last person you ever wanted to call your husband.

now bound in an unwanted marriage, you’re faced with navigating the tension between your unresolved hatred and an unexpected attraction. as palace intrigue and looming threats surround you both, you must confront the truth of your feelings. will the bitterness between you tear you apart, or will it ignite something far more powerful?

genre: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, arranged marriage au

warnings: highly suggestive content!!! kissing, hee and reader are mean at first, insecurities, jealous!hee

note: i've been meaning to write this plot for an year now, im happy with how it turned out! e2l with hee is always soo fun to write. enjoyy

word count: 11.5k

royally yours masterlist next: jay

if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

the first time you met prince heeseung, it was at a grand summer garden party hosted by your parents in the palace’s sprawling grounds. you were barely six years old, and he wasn’t much older, yet even then, the air between you crackled with something akin to competition. your governess had dressed you in your finest lace frock, with your hair tied in perfect ribbons, but none of that mattered. you were too busy building a grand sandcastle near the fountain, your little fingers carefully patting the turrets into shape.

that was when heeseung appeared, his shadow falling over your castle like a storm cloud. he crouched beside you without so much as a polite greeting, his royal title apparently excusing his lack of manners. his eyes, sharp for a child, surveyed your handiwork critically.

“that’s not right,” he declared, reaching out to touch one of your towers. “the walls need to be thicker, or it’ll fall.”

you frowned, already bristling at the unsolicited advice. “it’s my castle. i know what i’m doing.”

he smirked, a small, superior thing that made your blood simmer even at that tender age. without asking, he began "fixing" it, his hands too rough as he demolished what you had so carefully crafted.

“stop!” you cried, shoving him back with all the strength your little body could muster. heeseung stumbled, landing awkwardly on the grass, but instead of being chastened, he merely laughed.

“see?” he said, gesturing at the collapsed sandcastle. “i told you it would fall.”

tears of frustration welled in your eyes as you glared at him. “you ruined it! i didn’t ask for your help!”

heeseung stood, dusting off his fine clothes, a boyish smirk still plastered on his face. “you should thank me. i was doing you a favour.”

from that day forward, any time your families met, it was as if an unspoken rule had been established—whenever you were in the same room, you and heeseung would find something to argue about. it didn’t matter if it was who deserved the biggest slice of cake or who could recite their latin conjugations faster; the two of you were constantly at odds.

as the years passed, your mutual disdain only deepened. by the time you were ten, heeseung had already earned a reputation as the golden boy of his kingdom, a future king who excelled in everything he touched. your own accomplishments were always impressive—your parents had ensured you were well-versed in languages, history, and the fine arts—but whenever heeseung was around, it felt as though all your achievements paled in comparison.

“did you hear?” one of your tutors asked one morning as you sat in the drawing room, diligently practising your embroidery. “prince heeseung has been awarded top marks in his studies again. he’s to receive a commendation from the royal academy.”

you didn’t look up, but your needle paused for the briefest of moments. “how wonderful for him,” you muttered, the words heavy with sarcasm.

that evening, at another royal banquet, you couldn’t help but bring up your own accomplishments, eager for even a crumb of recognition.

“i’ve been practising my archery,” you said proudly to the gathered guests, though your eyes couldn’t help but flick toward heeseung, who lounged nearby, looking as regal and aloof as ever. “i managed to hit the bullseye several times this week.”

heeseung glanced up lazily, catching your eye with that familiar, insufferable smirk. “impressive,” he said in a bored tone, “though archery isn’t quite the same as, say, fencing. that requires real skill.”

your fists clenched under the table, your pride wounded by his casual dismissal. but this was the way it always went. no matter what you did, heeseung always found a way to make it seem insignificant, as though he were the sun and you were merely a star dimmed by his brilliance.

by the time you were both teenagers, the animosity between you had grown more complicated, though no less intense. you found yourselves at the same royal gatherings, balls, and court functions, and each time, it was as if the entire room held its breath, waiting to see what you and heeseung would clash over next.

at one particularly grand ball, you had been feeling proud of your debut. you wore a gown of the finest silk, and you’d received more than a few admiring glances from the eligible noblemen in attendance. you were certain this was your night to shine—until heeseung approached.

“you look well enough,” he said, his voice smooth but with an edge that set your teeth on edge. “though i hope you don’t trip during the quadrille like last time.”

your cheeks flushed, remembering all too well the minor misstep you’d taken at a previous ball. “i won’t,” you snapped, glaring at him. “and even if i did, it’s better than fencing yourself into a corner like you did at the tournament last month.”

his smile faltered for just a second, but that was enough to make you feel victorious.

yet, despite the constant barbs, there was something else simmering beneath the surface now—a tension you refused to name. you hated the way your heart raced whenever heeseung was near, the way his presence seemed to fill every corner of a room. and, though you’d never admit it, you hated even more that part of you missed the old days when your squabbles were simple, childish things.

it all changed the day your sister’s engagement to heeseung was announced. the prince who had been your lifelong nemesis was now to become your sister’s husband, the future king of your kingdom. it was a match made for political alliance, but it felt like a betrayal. you had expected more from him—well, not more kindness, but certainly more rebellion. yet, heeseung accepted the engagement with the same cool composure he did everything else.

for the first time in years, he stopped seeking you out, stopped picking those fights you had come to expect. he no longer bothered with sharp remarks or smug smiles. instead, he kept his distance, as though you were beneath his notice.

you told yourself it didn’t matter. after all, what did you care if heeseung ignored you now? he was going to be your brother-in-law, and that was enough reason to keep things civil. and yet, a strange, hollow feeling settled in your chest whenever you saw him and your sister together. he was colder now, more mature, but somehow more distant than ever.

little did you know, your rivalry with prince heeseung was far from over. if anything, it was only just beginning.

the night your world fell apart, it started with a simple knock on your chamber door. the palace had been abuzz with preparations—florists arranging garlands, tailors hemming gowns, and courtiers whispering about the grand union that would strengthen two kingdoms. you had spent the evening rehearsing your duties as maid of honour, biting back any remnants of bitterness that still clung to your feelings about the match. it didn’t matter that you had spent your entire life despising heeseung; your sister loved him, or at least, she was supposed to.

you were preparing to retire, brushing your hair by the dim glow of candlelight, when your sister slipped into the room, her face pale and eyes wide with fear. you’d never seen her look so frantic. your heart sank before she even said a word.

“i’m not going to marry him,” she whispered, wringing her hands in the folds of her silk nightgown. her voice trembled, but it was steady enough for you to know she wasn’t joking.

your heart lurched. “what are you talking about? the wedding is tomorrow!”

her wide eyes darted to the door as if she feared someone might overhear. she leaned in closer, gripping your wrist with trembling fingers. “i can’t marry heeseung,” she said urgently. “i don’t love him. i’m leaving tonight.”

the words hit you like a physical blow. “you’re what?”

“i’m eloping,” she said, her voice firmer now, as if saying it out loud gave her courage. “with lucien.”

lucien. you barely knew the man, a minor noble from another court, but he had charmed your sister quickly. he was handsome and witty, but far beneath her station. you stared at her, disbelief mixing with fury.

“lucien? are you mad? you can’t just abandon your duty for—”

“for love?” she interrupted, her voice rising in defiance. “yes, i can. i won’t be trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who cares nothing for me.”

you swallowed hard, your mind racing. heeseung, distant and cold as he had been with you, had shown no signs of affection for your sister either, but this was bigger than personal feelings. the marriage was political, a union meant to secure alliances, peace, and power. your sister fleeing would bring nothing but chaos.

“you’ll ruin everything,” you whispered, your voice thick with the weight of the consequences. “our families, the kingdoms—this is bigger than you.”

her eyes softened with a mix of guilt and determination. “i know. but i can’t live my life for duty, not like this.” she stood, gathering a small satchel you hadn’t noticed before, already packed and ready for her escape.

“you won’t stop me, will you?” she asked, her gaze pleading.

you wanted to scream, to shake her out of this madness, but your throat tightened. she was your sister. you loved her. and you knew, deep down, that nothing you said would change her mind.

“i should,” you said, your voice quiet, brittle. “but no. i won’t.”

your sister smiled, a fragile, relieved thing, before pulling you into a tight embrace. the hug felt final, like the end of something neither of you could come back from. when she finally let go, you stood frozen in the middle of her room as she slipped out the window and into the night, her footsteps fading into the shadows.

the palace remained blissfully unaware of the catastrophe until morning, when your mother’s scream shattered the early dawn peace.

the palace was in chaos the next morning. servants rushed through the halls, panic etched on their faces as whispers spread like wildfire—the bride had run away. you stayed in your chambers as long as possible, trying to gather your thoughts, your emotions, trying to prepare for the inevitable fallout.

when the summons came from your father, it felt like a death knell. the walk to the throne room felt endless, each step heavier than the last. the moment you stepped through the grand doors, you saw heeseung standing beside your parents. his face was a mask of icy calm, but his eyes…his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them, cold and unforgiving.

he didn’t even glance at you as your father spoke.

“your sister has disgraced this family,” your father’s voice boomed, his tone laced with anger and disappointment. “but the marriage cannot be abandoned. the alliance with heeseung’s kingdom is too important.”

you stood still, your stomach churning as you braced for what was coming.

“therefore,” your father continued, his gaze hard as stone, “you will take her place.”

for a moment, the words didn’t register. you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. you? marry heeseung? no, it wasn’t possible. you had spent your entire life in a silent war with him. the idea of marrying the man who had been your nemesis since childhood was unthinkable.

your mother’s voice, soft but firm, broke the silence. “the arrangements have already been made. the wedding will proceed as planned. you will become heeseung’s bride.”

“no.” the word slipped from your lips before you could stop it, your heart racing. “i can’t.”

your father’s eyes narrowed, and your mother’s expression hardened with disappointment. “you will do your duty,” your father said coldly. “this is not up for discussion.”

duty. it always came down to that. your entire life, you had been prepared for moments like this, but not this moment. not like this.

finally, you turned to heeseung, desperate for any sign of protest, for him to say something—anything—that would stop this madness. but he was silent. his face remained expressionless, as though none of this affected him. he looked at you as if you were just a piece of the puzzle, another part of the kingdom’s grand design.

“is that all i am to you?” you asked, your voice shaking. “just a replacement? a stand-in for the bride who ran away?”

for the first time, heeseung’s gaze met yours, and for a brief moment, something flickered in his eyes—something unreadable, buried deep beneath the coldness. but his words cut through you like ice.

“you’re a princess,” he said, his voice quiet but sharp. “your role is to serve your kingdom. that’s all that matters.”

a bitter laugh escaped your throat. “you’ve hated me for years, heeseung. and now you expect me to just—what? pretend none of that matters?”

his jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond. instead, he turned away, his indifference stinging more than any of the insults you had traded over the years.

your father spoke again, his tone final. “the marriage will happen. prepare yourself.”

the grand hall was suffused with the glow of flickering candles and soft sunlight filtering through stained glass windows. the scent of fresh roses—your sister’s favourite, not yours—hung heavily in the air, mocking the gravity of the moment. you stood at the entrance of the hall, your hands clenched so tightly around the bouquet that your knuckles were white. the murmurs of the courtiers echoed around you, a constant hum of speculation and judgement. no matter how well you carried yourself today, the whispers wouldn’t stop.

the switch of the bride was the scandal of the century, and you were at the centre of it.

ahead of you, heeseung stood tall, his face as unreadable as stone. the same detachment was in his eyes, his expression cool and composed as if this marriage was merely another political manoeuvre for him, another step toward the throne. he didn’t look at you with warmth, or even a hint of care. to him, you weren’t his wife—you were the replacement for the woman who had run away.

you walked down the aisle, every step heavier than the last, the reality of your situation crushing you. heeseung’s gaze was steady as you approached, but it wasn’t the gaze of a man looking at his bride. it was a look of cold calculation, a man who had resigned himself to duty.

when you finally reached him, your heart thudding loudly in your chest, you barely registered the priest's words. the vows—sacred, binding—felt hollow, like a cruel twist of fate. how could you stand here, repeating the words meant for your sister? they weren't meant for you. you were never supposed to be the bride.

heeseung took your hand, and the warmth of his skin was a sharp contrast to the chill that ran down your spine. his grip was firm, not gentle, but not cruel either—just dutiful. he spoke his vows with a steady voice, each word sounding rehearsed, as though they meant nothing to him beyond their formality.

and then it was your turn. you hesitated, the weight of the kingdom on your shoulders, your pulse quickening. your voice trembled slightly as you repeated the vows, feeling the eyes of everyone in the hall on you—expecting you to fulfil your role, to be the perfect princess. you could barely choke out the words, but somehow, you managed. and with every word, you felt the invisible chains of your new life tightening around you.

when the priest finally pronounced you husband and wife, heeseung’s lips brushed yours in the briefest of kisses—so cold and devoid of feeling that it felt more like a business transaction than the union of two people. the cheers of the court erupted around you, but in that moment, the applause sounded like the closing of a cage. you were trapped, bound to him, to this life.

as you turned to leave the altar, heeseung offered his arm, the tension between you palpable. his eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, but there was no warmth there. just that cold, resigned look you had grown accustomed to. you were both playing your roles, just as you had been trained to do your whole lives.

but this wasn’t a game. this was your future, and it felt like a noose tightening around your neck.

the wedding feast had been a blur—a cacophony of forced smiles, hollow congratulations, and polite toasts that masked the underlying tension. you had barely spoken a word to heeseung throughout the entire affair. he hadn’t made any attempt to speak to you either, remaining as distant and composed as ever.

now, as you stood alone in the chambers that were to be yours and heeseung’s, the reality of your new life settled heavily on your chest. the palace chambers were far too quiet, the air thick with the tension that had been building between you and heeseung for years. as you stood in the centre of the room, staring at the enormous bed draped in rich fabrics, it felt like the walls were closing in. the room was elegantly decorated—ornate tapestries hung on the walls, and the grand four-poster bed was fit for a queen. but none of it mattered. the splendour felt like a mockery of the situation you found yourself in. tonight, this room was not a sanctuary but a gilded cage.

your breath caught in your throat as the door creaked open. heeseung entered, his presence commanding even in the subdued candlelight. the tension between you was palpable, stretching like a thin, fragile thread that could snap at any moment. his gaze flicked toward you briefly, but he didn’t speak, and the silence that followed was suffocating.

heeseung moved with practised grace, his movements calm and deliberate. he began undoing the buttons on his ceremonial jacket, the fine fabric sliding off his shoulders and landing in a careless heap on the chair by the vanity. you stood frozen, unsure of what to say, what to do. this wasn’t how you had imagined a wedding night would feel—though you had never dreamed this night would be with heeseung, of all people.

his back was to you now, his broad shoulders tense, though he did nothing to betray any emotion. you could feel the distance between you both, even though he was just across the room. heeseung had always been composed, guarded, but tonight, his coldness cut even deeper than usual.

he finally broke the silence, his voice low but steady. “it’s late. you should rest.” there was no affection in his tone, just the same sense of duty that had hung over the entire day. you weren’t his bride by choice, and he wasn’t your husband by desire.

you bit back a bitter laugh. rest? as if you could simply close your eyes and pretend this was normal. pretend that this marriage was something other than a trap. “is that it, then?” you asked, your voice sharper than intended. “we go to bed and pretend everything is fine?”

heeseung turned to face you, his expression as unreadable as ever. he didn’t answer right away, as if weighing his response carefully. “what do you want me to say?” his tone was measured, but there was an edge to it, a hint of frustration that matched your own.

“i don’t know,” you admitted, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions. “this wasn’t supposed to happen. i wasn’t supposed to marry you.”

something flickered in heeseung’s eyes, though it disappeared as quickly as it came. he regarded you for a moment, his gaze unreadable, before he spoke again. “do you think i wanted this?” his words were quiet but laced with a bitterness that surprised you. “i didn’t ask for this any more than you did.”

you swallowed, feeling a lump rise in your throat. you hadn’t expected this admission from him, hadn’t expected him to show any vulnerability. “then what are we supposed to do?” your voice was softer now, the anger ebbing away, replaced by uncertainty. “how are we supposed to live like this?”

heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair, a rare moment of frustration breaking through his calm facade. “we do what’s expected of us,” he said, though there was a heaviness to his words, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you. “we fulfill our duties. that’s all we can do.”

“duties.” the word tasted bitter on your tongue. it had always come down to that, hadn’t it? duty to the crown, to the kingdom, to your family. and now, duty to heeseung.

the silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable. heeseung turned away, moving toward the window where the heavy drapes framed the view of the darkened palace gardens. his silhouette was stark against the faint glow of moonlight, his posture stiff, almost defensive.

after a long moment, he spoke again, his voice softer this time. “i’ll sleep over there.” he gestured to the chaise near the window, a fine piece of furniture that now seemed woefully out of place in this awkward, tension-filled room. “you can have the bed.”

you blinked, surprised by his offer. it was the last thing you expected from him, but it was a relief nonetheless. “you don’t have to—”

“i’m not doing this for you,” he interrupted, his voice firm, but not unkind. “i just don’t want to make this any more difficult than it already is.”

with that, he moved toward the chaise, gathering a pillow and blanket from the wardrobe. his actions were efficient, almost mechanical, as if he had already resigned himself to this fate. he didn’t look at you as he arranged the blanket over the chaise.

you stood there, feeling a strange mix of emotions—relief, awkwardness, and something else, something heavier that you couldn’t quite place. this was your wedding night, but it was nothing like you had ever imagined. there was no closeness, no warmth—just two people bound together by obligation and circumstance.

finally, you moved toward the bed, the thick carpets muffling your steps. the soft fabric of your gown felt heavy as you climbed beneath the covers, though they provided no comfort. you lay there, staring up at the intricate canopy above, your mind racing. this bed, this room—none of it felt like yours.

heeseung settled on the chaise, his back to you, the distance between you both feeling vast despite the small room. the silence was oppressive, each second dragging on longer than the last. you wondered if he was as uneasy as you were, or if he had already steeled himself to this new reality.

for a long while, neither of you spoke, the only sound in the room the faint rustling of fabric as you shifted beneath the covers. the weight of the day, of the vows, of your new title, pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.

finally, you couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “heeseung,” you whispered, unsure if you even wanted him to respond.

he didn’t turn, but his voice was low and steady when he answered. “what?”

you hesitated, searching for the right words. “do you think... do you think this will ever get easier?”

there was a long pause before he responded, his voice quiet, almost resigned. “i don’t know.”

and with that, the conversation ended. heeseung remained silent, his back still turned to you, and you knew there was nothing more to say. you turned onto your side, pulling the blankets tighter around you, though they offered little warmth. the room felt too big, too empty, despite his presence.

eventually, exhaustion crept in, dulling the sharp edges of your thoughts. but even as sleep began to claim you, a cold, sinking feeling settled in your chest. this was your life now—bound to a man you barely knew, a man who had been your enemy for years, and yet, somehow, your husband.

and as you drifted off into uneasy sleep, the last thought that crossed your mind was how strange it felt to be lying just feet away from heeseung, yet feeling as though he was a world away.

the morning after the wedding dawned cold and gray, mirroring the lingering tension between you and heeseung. you woke up in the large, empty bed, the space next to you untouched, a stark reminder of the distance that had been established on your wedding night. the air in the room felt thick, suffocating, as if the very walls were pressing in on you, reminding you of your new reality.

as you sat up, the unfamiliarity of your surroundings only worsened the tightness in your chest. this was your new life. not just this bed, but this room, this palace—heeseung’s palace—and you would share it with a man who barely spoke to you, who looked at you with that same cold distance he had always shown.

you dressed quickly, your movements mechanical, trying not to think too much. the maids moved around you silently, well-trained and efficient, but you could feel their eyes on you. it was impossible to escape the fact that everyone knew. the entire kingdom knew the story—the princess who had run away, and her sister forced to take her place. the whispers would never stop.

when you finally made your way downstairs to the grand dining room, heeseung was already seated at the long table, a plate of food in front of him. he didn’t look up when you entered, simply continued cutting into his meal with precise, practised movements. you hesitated for a moment, then took your seat across from him.

the silence was unbearable.

you picked at your food, barely tasting it, glancing at heeseung from time to time. his expression was as unreadable as ever, his attention focused on the papers beside his plate—likely matters of the kingdom that required his attention. he was already immersed in his duties, the weight of his impending kingship pressing down on him just as heavily as your new role as his wife weighed on you.

finally, you couldn’t stand it any longer. “do you plan to ignore me for the rest of our lives?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended.

heeseung didn’t look up immediately, taking his time to finish his bite and set down his utensils with deliberate care. when he finally met your gaze, his expression was cool, detached. “i’m not ignoring you.”

you scoffed, unable to hide your frustration. “you’ve barely spoken to me since the wedding.”

he raised an eyebrow, his tone as calm as ever. “what would you like me to say?”

the question took you off guard. you hadn’t expected him to be so blunt. you opened your mouth, then closed it again, unsure of how to respond. what did you want him to say? that he regretted everything as much as you did? that he hated this arrangement, too? or perhaps you wanted him to acknowledge the years of bitterness between you, to admit that this marriage was a farce.

instead, you said, “we’re married now, heeseung. we have to live together. we can’t keep pretending the other doesn’t exist.”

his jaw tightened ever so slightly, but his voice remained calm. “i’m aware of that.”

you waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. the silence stretched on once again, thicker than before, suffocating in its awkwardness. you pushed your plate away, no longer interested in eating. “fine,” you muttered under your breath, standing abruptly. “i suppose i’ll just get used to it, then.”

you turned to leave, but his voice stopped you. “you don’t have to like this any more than i do, but we have responsibilities now.”

you paused, your back to him, your hands clenched at your sides. “responsibilities,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. it seemed like that was all your life had ever been reduced to—duty, obligation, and responsibilities.

without another word, you left the dining room, the heavy doors closing behind you with a soft thud. you could feel the weight of the situation bearing down on you even more as you walked through the halls of the palace, each step echoing in the vast emptiness. you weren’t just trapped in this marriage—you were trapped in this life.

days passed, and though you and heeseung were forced to share the same space, your interactions remained minimal, stilted. in the mornings, you would find him already at the breakfast table, poring over documents and barely acknowledging your presence. he would spend his days attending council meetings and handling matters of state, leaving you to navigate the palace on your own, feeling more like a guest in your own home than its mistress.

at night, he would retire to the chambers late, often when you were already lying in bed, pretending to sleep. he would quietly take his place on the chaise near the window, far enough away to avoid any awkwardness, but close enough that his presence was a constant reminder of the divide between you.

it was during these nights that the loneliness settled in most heavily. the silence of the room, broken only by the occasional rustling of fabric or the soft crackle of the fireplace, was suffocating. you had grown accustomed to sleeping alone, but now, knowing heeseung was just a few feet away, the distance between you felt almost unbearable. there was an unspoken understanding that neither of you wanted to bridge the gap.

one evening, after yet another day of awkward meals and tense silences, you found yourself in the library, one of the few places in the palace where you felt at peace. the vast room was filled with shelves upon shelves of books, their spines worn and familiar. you had always loved to read, finding solace in the stories and histories of others when your own life felt too overwhelming.

you were seated by the window, the late afternoon sun casting a soft glow over the pages of your book, when the door creaked open. you looked up, surprised to see heeseung standing in the doorway. he paused for a moment, as if uncertain whether to enter or leave, his eyes scanning the room before they settled on you.

“may i join you?” he asked, his voice unusually soft.

you blinked, caught off guard by his request. this was the first time he had sought you out since the wedding, and the suddenness of it left you momentarily speechless. you nodded, unsure of what else to do. “of course.”

heeseung crossed the room, moving with his usual grace, and took a seat in the armchair opposite you. for a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet of the library enveloping you both. he seemed content to sit in silence, his gaze wandering to the bookshelves that lined the walls.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke. “this is... one of the quieter rooms.”

you raised an eyebrow, a small, incredulous smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “it’s a library, heeseung. of course it’s quiet.”

to your surprise, he chuckled softly, though it was a dry, humourless sound. “fair enough.”

silence fell again, but this time it wasn’t as suffocating. there was something almost... peaceful about it, the weight of your shared presence not as unbearable as it had been before. you watched him out of the corner of your eye, noticing how tired he looked. the weight of his responsibilities was evident in the slight furrow of his brow, the way his shoulders sagged ever so slightly.

after a while, you set your book down on your lap, deciding to break the silence. “it must be difficult,” you said quietly. “taking on so much.”

heeseung didn’t answer right away, his gaze still focused on the shelves, but eventually, he nodded. “it is.”

you hesitated for a moment, then spoke again, softer this time. “you don’t have to carry it all alone, you know.”

he turned to look at you then, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something softer than the cold indifference you had grown accustomed to.

“and what would you suggest?” he asked, his voice quiet but not unkind.

“i don’t know,” you admitted. “but we’re in this together, whether we like it or not.”

heeseung’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, and then he nodded, a small, almost imperceptible movement. it wasn’t much, but it was the first step—however small—toward something more than just forced cohabitation.

the shift in your relationship came faster than you expected. it started with a challenge—a reckless, unspoken dare that neither of you could resist.

it had been a clear, crisp day, the first after several weeks of rain. you were restless, tired of the palace walls and the constant burden of your new role. you had gone to the stables, hoping to take one of the horses out for a ride, needing to feel the wind in your hair and the ground beneath you. but when you arrived, heeseung was already there, adjusting the reins of his own horse.

you paused in the doorway, surprised to see him. “you ride?”

he glanced up, one eyebrow raised. “you sound surprised.”

“i am,” you admitted. “i’ve never seen you ride before.”

he chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

the challenge in his voice was unmistakable, and you couldn’t resist rising to it. “care to prove it?” you asked, moving toward your own horse.

heeseung’s smirk widened. “what do you have in mind?”

you mounted your horse swiftly, the thrill of the challenge already coursing through your veins. “a race.”

heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “you think you can beat me?”

“i know i can,” you shot back, turning your horse toward the open field beyond the stables.

without another word, you spurred your horse into motion, not waiting for his response. behind you, you heard heeseung’s laughter, low and rich, before the sound of hooves thundering against the ground told you he had accepted the challenge.

you raced through the fields, the wind whipping through your hair, the thrill of the chase making your heart race. heeseung was right behind you, and you could feel the tension building, the competitive edge between you sparking like fire. it was like being children again, challenging each other at every turn, pushing each other to the limit.

but this time, it was different. the stakes were higher, the tension thicker, and the way heeseung looked at you when he finally caught up to you sent a shiver down your spine.

when he finally pulled his horse beside yours, you were both breathless, your faces flushed with adrenaline. you glanced over at him, and the look in his eyes—intense, dark, heated—made your pulse quicken.

“not bad,” he said, his voice low, rough around the edges.

you smirked, trying to ignore the way your heart was pounding. “you almost kept up.”

heeseung leaned in just slightly, his gaze locking with yours. “almost?” he murmured, his voice sending a jolt through you.

you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. the space between you was too close, the air charged with something you weren’t quite ready to name. his eyes lingered on your lips for just a moment too long, and you could feel the heat of his presence, the tension that had always existed between you now manifesting in a way that was far more dangerous.

before either of you could say anything, heeseung pulled back, his smirk returning as if nothing had happened. “we’ll call it a draw,” he said, though there was a teasing edge to his voice.

you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, shaking your head with a laugh. “you wish.”

but as you rode back to the palace, the tension between you remained, simmering beneath the surface. it was no longer the resentment of old enemies, but something far more complex, far more dangerous. and for the first time, you found yourself wondering what would happen if that tension ever boiled over.

later that night, the air was thick with the remnants of the day’s energy. you couldn’t sleep, your mind still racing from the ride and the way heeseung had looked at you—how close he had come, how your heart had nearly betrayed you in that moment of suspended anticipation.

you wandered the halls of the palace aimlessly, your footsteps soft against the marble floors. the palace at night was a different place, quiet and still, the shadows long and heavy. it felt like a place where secrets lingered in every corner, where the walls whispered of things that could never be said aloud.

as you passed by the study, you noticed the faint glow of light beneath the door. curiosity piqued, you pushed the door open just enough to peek inside. heeseung was there, seated at the desk, bathed in the warm glow of candlelight. he was reading, his brow furrowed in concentration, his lips slightly parted as he focused on the page in front of him.

you hesitated, but before you could turn away, he looked up, catching sight of you. for a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words. then, without breaking eye contact, heeseung set the book aside.

“couldn’t sleep?” he asked, his voice low, intimate in the quiet of the room.

you shook your head, stepping into the room. “no. you?”

heeseung’s gaze flicked over you, his eyes lingering on you in a way that made your skin heat under his scrutiny. “i’ve been thinking,” he said, his tone soft but laced with that same dangerous tension that had been building all day.

“about what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you moved closer, drawn to him in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

heeseung’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. “about you,” he said quietly. “about us.”

the weight of his words settled in the space between you, thick and intoxicating. about you. about us. it echoed in your mind, stirring something deep within you that you had tried to ignore for far too long. you weren’t sure if it was the late hour, the dim candlelight, or the fact that you had been dancing around each other for weeks now, but something inside you snapped.

your breath hitched as you looked at him, his eyes dark and full of something you couldn’t quite name. but it was there—undeniable, pulsing in the space between you. and now that it had been spoken into existence, you couldn’t unsee it.

“what about us?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. it wasn’t just curiosity anymore. it was a challenge.

heeseung’s gaze flicked to your lips, and the tension in the room intensified, coiling tighter and tighter until it felt like the air itself might shatter from the pressure. he stood slowly, his movements deliberate, and took a step toward you, closing the already-small distance between you.

“there’s always been something between us,” he said, his voice low, rough. his eyes never left yours, burning with intensity. “even when we hated each other.”

your heart was pounding now, so loud you were sure he could hear it. you wanted to deny it, to tell him that he was wrong, that it had always been pure hatred. but that would’ve been a lie. you knew it as well as he did—whatever had always been there between you, it had never been simple.

“and what is it now?” you asked, forcing yourself to meet his gaze even though every instinct told you to look away. to run.

heeseung took another step closer, his hand reaching up slowly, as though giving you the chance to pull away. but you didn’t. you couldn’t. his fingers brushed against your cheek, the touch so light it sent a shiver down your spine. his hand lingered there, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw.

“maybe we’ve been fighting the wrong battle,” he murmured, his voice softer now, almost tender. the warmth of his breath ghosted over your skin, and you felt your pulse quicken.

your throat tightened. every word he said felt like a dangerous line, one that you were teetering on the edge of crossing. the tension between you had always been a fire—burning too hot, too fast. and now, it felt like it was about to consume you both.

heeseung’s thumb brushed over your bottom lip, and your breath caught in your throat. his touch was tentative, as though he wasn’t quite sure if this was real or if you would pull away at any moment.

but you didn’t.

instead, you took a step closer, closing the gap completely. the air between you was charged, thick with unspoken desire and the weight of all the years you had spent fighting against each other. your body was betraying you, leaning into him, drawn by a force you had denied for too long.

heeseung’s eyes darkened as he leaned in, his lips barely an inch from yours, the heat between you almost unbearable now. you could feel the tension in every muscle, the way his hand trembled slightly as it cupped your cheek, the way your own body was responding without your permission.

then, in a breathless moment that felt like it stretched on forever, he closed the distance.

his lips pressed against yours—soft at first, testing, as though he wasn’t sure you would let him. but the moment your lips met his, something ignited between you. the kiss deepened, filled with all the pent-up frustration and longing that had been building for so long. it was a clash of emotions—anger, desire, need—all colliding in that single moment.

you responded instantly, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, needing more. the kiss was rough, almost desperate, as though you were both trying to make up for years of missed chances in that single moment.

his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you gasped against his lips at the feeling of his body pressed so close to yours. the intensity of it was overwhelming, but you didn’t want it to stop. you didn’t want to think. you just wanted to feel.

but then, as quickly as it started, heeseung pulled back, his breathing ragged, his forehead resting against yours. his hands still gripped your waist, holding you in place as though he couldn’t quite let go yet.

“this isn’t... what i expected,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. his breath was warm against your skin, and his eyes searched yours, as though he was looking for an answer in your gaze.

you swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing, trying to make sense of what had just happened. “what did you expect?” you asked softly, your fingers still tangled in his hair.

heeseung’s grip on your waist tightened for a moment, his eyes darkening once again. “i didn’t expect you to feel this way.” his voice was low, almost a growl, filled with the same intensity that had been building between you all night.

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. you had no idea what to say, no idea how to explain the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside you. all you knew was that everything had changed in that kiss.

“i don’t know what i feel,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely audible in the heavy silence of the room.

heeseung’s lips twitched into a small, almost sad smile. “neither do i.” he stepped back, finally breaking the physical contact between you, and you immediately missed the warmth of his body against yours.

“but whatever this is... it’s dangerous,” he continued, his eyes locked on yours, as though warning you. “we’ve always been enemies. we don’t know how to be anything else.”

you felt a lump form in your throat at his words, because deep down, you knew he was right. but that didn’t stop the ache in your chest, the desire for something more—for the possibility of what could be.

“i don’t want to be your enemy anymore,” you said softly, the confession surprising even you.

heeseung’s eyes widened slightly at your words, his expression unreadable. for a moment, you thought he might say something—might admit that he didn’t want to be your enemy either. but then, he shook his head, the walls between you coming back up, brick by brick.

“this doesn’t change anything,” he said quietly, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

and with that, he turned and left the room, leaving you standing there in the soft glow of candlelight, your heart pounding and your mind reeling from the kiss that had shifted the entire balance between you.

as the door closed softly behind him, you exhaled a shaky breath, your fingers brushing your lips where his had been moments before.

everything had changed.

the royal court was buzzing with tension, and for once, the tension wasn’t between you and heeseung. the kingdom was on edge, not from war or rebellion, but from something far more insidious—political manoeuvring. rival noble houses were plotting against heeseung’s rule, questioning his right to ascend to the throne, especially after the sudden marriage to you. the whispers had grown louder over the past few weeks, the courtiers’ gazes sharper, waiting for the first misstep.

you had known court life would be full of power plays and alliances, but this was different. it was personal. every snide comment, every hushed conversation behind closed doors, felt like an attack on your marriage, on your family’s legacy. and worst of all, it felt like an attack on you.

one afternoon, as you made your way through the palace corridors, you overheard a group of nobles—close to your family—voicing their displeasure over your sudden marriage to heeseung. it was the same old song—how your sister should have been the bride, how you were never meant for this role, how heeseung marrying you was a strategic disaster.

you felt your blood run cold, but you kept walking, your head held high. you had grown used to these remarks, but today, they stung deeper. not because they questioned your worth, but because they reflected the deep-seated insecurity you had always carried.

that night, you found yourself alone in the study, staring out the window at the darkening sky. the weight of the court’s judgement, the impossible standards, the constant comparisons to your sister—they were suffocating. and then there was heeseung, whose coldness had thawed just enough to show you glimpses of something deeper, something real. but he was still heeseung—your husband, your childhood rival, and now the man who held your future in his hands.

the door creaked open behind you, and you didn’t need to turn to know it was him. you had grown attuned to his presence, the way the air shifted whenever he entered a room.

“what’s wrong?” his voice was quieter than usual, but still carrying that edge of command. he always knew when something was off, as if he could sense the turmoil swirling inside you.

you didn’t answer immediately, your gaze fixed on the stars outside. “they’re saying we’re not suited for each other,” you murmured, finally turning to face him. “that i’m not fit to be queen. that you made a mistake.”

heeseung’s jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. he stepped closer, his eyes narrowing in that familiar way, but this time, it wasn’t directed at you.

“let them talk,” he said flatly. “they’re just waiting for us to fail.”

“and what if they’re right?” the words slipped out before you could stop them, the fear and doubt bubbling to the surface. “i was never meant to marry you. this isn’t the life i was prepared for.”

heeseung stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable. then, to your surprise, he closed the distance between you, his hands gripping your shoulders firmly, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“i didn’t choose you because you were an easy choice,” he said, his voice low but intense. “i chose you because you’re stronger than you realise.”

you blinked, taken aback by the conviction in his words. heeseung wasn’t one to offer praise lightly, and hearing it now, in this moment, felt more intimate than anything he had ever said to you before.

“there are plenty of people who want to see us fail,” he continued, his grip tightening slightly. “but they don’t matter. what matters is that we don’t give them the satisfaction. we fight together.”

the intensity in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine, and for the first time, you saw beyond the cold exterior he had always shown you. there was something deeper there, something raw and unspoken. a partnership.

but the closeness also brought something else—a heat that had always been there between you, simmering beneath the surface. his hands lingered on your shoulders, his thumbs brushing the bare skin just above your collarbone, and suddenly the room felt smaller, the air thicker.

“you think i’m strong?” you asked, your voice quieter now, tinged with something more vulnerable. something real.

heeseung’s gaze flicked down to your lips, just for a moment, before returning to your eyes. his voice was rough when he spoke, low and filled with an unspoken promise. “i’ve always known.”

the charged air between you was impossible to ignore now. his fingers slid from your shoulders to your arms, the touch sending a jolt of warmth through you. it wasn’t just the weight of responsibility pressing down on you—it was him, his closeness, the undeniable pull you had both been dancing around for weeks.

you could feel the tension in every inch of your body, your heart racing as heeseung’s hands rested on your waist, pulling you closer, but still leaving just enough space for doubt. he hesitated, as if waiting for you to push him away, to remind him of the enmity that had defined your relationship for so long.

but you didn’t. instead, you leaned into him, your hands tentatively reaching up to rest on his chest. the fabric of his shirt was soft under your fingers, but beneath it, you could feel the steady beat of his heart, as rapid as your own.

“maybe i’ve been wrong about you,” you whispered, your breath hitching as the tension between you reached a breaking point.

heeseung’s eyes darkened at your words, his lips hovering just inches from yours. “maybe you have,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. but there was something softer there too, something almost tender.

before you could talk yourself out of it, you closed the distance between you and kissed him.

the kiss was like nothing you had ever experienced—fierce, desperate, and full of the years of unresolved tension between you. it was as if all the walls you had built around yourselves were crumbling in an instant, leaving nothing but the raw, undeniable attraction that had always simmered beneath the surface.

heeseung responded instantly, his hands tightening on your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. his lips moved against yours with a hunger that matched your own, and you could feel the heat radiating off him, his body pressing against yours as if he couldn’t bear to let you go.

it was overwhelming, the intensity of the moment, the way your bodies seemed to fit perfectly together, the way every touch sent a shockwave of desire coursing through you. you had spent so long fighting him, fighting this, and now, as his hands slid up your back, holding you close, you wondered why you had ever resisted.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. heeseung’s grip on your waist didn’t loosen, and you could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat as wild as your own.

“we can’t keep pretending,” you whispered, your voice shaky, your lips still tingling from the kiss.

heeseung’s eyes met yours, the vulnerability and uncertainty in his gaze mirroring your own. “no, we can’t,” he agreed, his voice rough with emotion.

for a moment, the world hung in the balance. you had crossed a line, and there was no going back. everything between you had shifted, and the question now wasn’t whether you would move forward—it was how.

heeseung’s thumb brushed gently against your cheek, his touch so tender it nearly broke you. “we’re in this together,” he said softly, the weight of his words heavy with meaning.

this time, there was no need to say anything more. you both understood what had changed between you, even if neither of you was ready to fully admit it. and though the path ahead was uncertain, you knew one thing for sure: you weren’t facing it alone anymore.

weeks passed, and with each passing day, things between you and heeseung slowly shifted. the cold, sharp walls that had once kept you apart were crumbling, revealing a warmth and understanding that neither of you had anticipated. where there had once been biting words and icy glares, there was now laughter, quiet conversations, and small gestures of affection.

the palace felt different. it was lighter now, with the growing sense of partnership between you and heeseung. your bickering had been replaced with genuine care, and though the wounds of the past hadn't fully healed, you were both learning to forgive. but it wasn’t just the emotional connection that was shifting—there was something deeper brewing beneath the surface. unspoken feelings, simmering tension.

it wasn’t until a grand banquet in honour of a visiting prince from a neighbouring kingdom that these feelings came to a head. you stood at the centre of the ballroom, dressed in a gown that glimmered under the candlelight. it hugged your figure perfectly, catching the attention of more than just heeseung. the prince—prince seojun—had been particularly charming throughout the evening, his eyes lingering on you a little too long, his compliments a little too bold.

“you are by far the most captivating presence in this room, your highness,” seojun murmured, his voice low as he leaned in slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. “if i had known such beauty awaited me here, i would have visited sooner.”

you laughed politely, glancing over your shoulder, searching for heeseung in the crowd. he was across the room, deep in conversation with some nobles, but even from the distance, you could feel his gaze on you, sharp and intense.

seojun continued, his hand brushing lightly against your arm as he leaned closer. “perhaps we could steal a moment away from the crowd? i would love to know more about the woman behind such an enchanting smile.”

before you could respond, a sudden shift in the air caught your attention. heeseung appeared at your side, his posture tense, his expression a mix of barely contained irritation and something else—something more possessive.

“princess,” heeseung’s voice was smooth, but there was a dangerous edge to it. his hand slid around your waist, pulling you firmly against his side. the claim was unmistakable. “i believe your dance card is full for the evening.”

seojun’s smirk faltered slightly as he glanced between the two of you, sensing the tension. heeseung’s eyes never left the prince, cold and unyielding.

“of course,” seojun replied, raising his hands in mock surrender. “i wouldn’t dream of overstepping. after all,” his gaze flickered to you, then back to heeseung, “she’s your wife.”

the words hung in the air for a moment, charged with unspoken meaning. seojun bowed slightly, a smirk still playing on his lips, before taking his leave. but even as he walked away, you could feel the lingering weight of his gaze.

you turned to heeseung, about to make a light-hearted remark about the interaction, but the look on his face stopped you. his eyes were dark, his jaw clenched, and his grip on your waist was firm—almost possessive.

“did he touch you?” heeseung asked, his voice low and tight.

you raised an eyebrow, surprised by his tone. “barely,” you replied, trying to play it off with a soft laugh. “why? are you jealous?”

his eyes flickered with something dangerous as he leaned down, his breath warm against your ear. “you’re my wife. i don’t like other men thinking they can take what’s mine.”

your heart skipped a beat at his words. the possessiveness in his tone, the way his body pressed protectively against yours—it was unlike anything you had ever experienced with heeseung. you had always seen him as cold, distant, but this... this was different. there was fire in his eyes, and you could feel it burning between you, a tension that neither of you had acknowledged until now.

“and what if i enjoy a little attention now and then?” you teased, testing the boundaries, wanting to see how far he would go.

heeseung’s eyes darkened even more, and in one swift motion, he pulled you even closer, his hand cupping the back of your neck as he leaned in, his lips barely grazing the shell of your ear. “i don’t care how many men look at you, but remember this—” his voice dropped, sending shivers down your spine, “you belong to me and i belong to you.”

a thrill ran through you at his words, and for a moment, you were speechless, your mind spinning from the intensity of his claim. the ballroom, the crowd, even prince seojun—all of it faded away as heeseung’s gaze held you captive. you could feel the heat of his body against yours, the possessiveness in his touch, and for the first time, you realised that this wasn’t just some marriage of convenience anymore.

heeseung cared—more than he was willing to admit.

your breath hitched as you looked up at him, your eyes searching his, trying to read the emotions flickering behind them. “and what about you, heeseung?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “do you want me to be yours?”

his eyes softened for just a moment, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his features before he leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against your temple. “you already are,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “and i’m not letting you forget it.”

the banquet had left the air between you and heeseung charged with an intensity that neither of you could ignore. his possessiveness, the fierce look in his eyes when he claimed you as his wife in front of prince seojun, had stirred something inside you—something that had been simmering for far too long.

as the last of the guests departed and the palace quieted down for the night, the tension remained, lingering like an unspoken promise. heeseung walked beside you in silence as you both made your way through the dimly lit corridors toward your chambers. though no words passed between you, the air was thick with anticipation, the unspoken pull between you stronger than ever.

when you reached your shared chambers, heeseung opened the door for you, his gaze never leaving you as you stepped inside. you could feel his eyes on you, burning with a need that matched your own. the soft glow of the candlelight cast long shadows across the room, but all you could focus on was the man standing behind you, his presence overwhelming.

you moved toward the vanity, fingers trembling slightly as you began to remove your jewellery. you were acutely aware of heeseung standing behind you, the weight of his gaze almost tangible as he watched your every movement. his silence spoke volumes, filled with desire and unspoken emotions that neither of you had fully confronted until now.

the tension was unbearable. finally, unable to stand the silence any longer, you glanced at him through the reflection in the mirror, your voice soft but steady. “you’ve been quiet,” you murmured, meeting his intense gaze. “what’s on your mind?”

he didn’t answer immediately. instead, he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to brush against the bare skin of your shoulder. the touch was light, tentative, but it sent a shiver down your spine. his fingers lingered, tracing the delicate curve of your shoulder before he leaned in, his breath warm against your neck.

“i didn’t like how he looked at you,” heeseung finally admitted, his voice low and rough with suppressed emotion. his eyes met yours in the mirror, dark with jealousy and something more—something deeper. “or the way he made you laugh.”

your heart raced at the possessiveness in his tone. you turned to face him, taking in the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes blazed with something primal. his emotions were raw, laid bare before you in a way that heeseung had never allowed himself to show before.

“it was harmless,” you replied, stepping closer to him, your voice softening. “but i can’t say i minded the way you stepped in.”

his gaze darkened, his hand moving to your waist, pulling you flush against him. you could feel the heat of his body seeping into yours, the hard lines of his frame pressing against your softness. his eyes locked onto yours, filled with unspoken desire, but also with something more—something tender.

“i’m not the kind of man who likes to share,” he said, his voice a low growl as he leaned in, his lips hovering just above yours. “especially not when it comes to you.”

your breath hitched at his words, your pulse quickening as the fire between you flared even hotter. you couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through you at his possessive tone, the way his hands gripped you as though he couldn’t bear to let you go.

“and what are you going to do about it?” you whispered, your voice daring, testing the boundaries as your lips brushed his, teasingly close but not quite touching.

heeseung’s response was immediate. his lips crashed against yours, fierce and hungry, as if he had been holding back for far too long. the kiss was searing, filled with all the emotions you had both kept hidden. his hands roamed over your body, possessive yet tender, as though he was staking his claim but also worshipping every inch of you.

you responded just as fiercely, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, needing to feel every part of him against you. the tension between you, the unspoken desire, it all poured out in that kiss, in the way his body pressed against yours with a need that matched your own.

heeseung’s hands slid down to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly as he carried you toward the bed. the air between you was electric, charged with desire and the intensity of emotions that neither of you had allowed to surface until now. he laid you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze dark and filled with a hunger that made your heart race.

for a moment, he paused, his fingers brushing over your cheek with a tenderness that contrasted sharply with the intensity of what had just passed between you. his eyes softened, and for the first time, you saw the vulnerability behind them—the raw emotion that he had been hiding behind his cold exterior for so long.

“are you sure?” he asked, his voice husky but laced with care, as if he was giving you one last chance to pull away, to stop this before it went too far.

you gazed up at him, your heart swelling with the overwhelming emotions coursing through you. heeseung, the man you had once considered your rival, your enemy, was now looking at you with a tenderness that took your breath away. you reached up, cupping his face in your hands, your thumb brushing softly over his cheek.

“i’m sure,” you whispered, pulling him down into another kiss, softer this time, but no less filled with the emotions swirling between you.

what followed was slow, deliberate, and filled with a tenderness that you had never expected from heeseung. his hands moved over your body with care, as though he was savouring every touch, every breath. the fierceness from earlier softened into something more intimate, more meaningful, as he explored you with reverence, his lips following the path of his hands.

your name fell from his lips like a prayer, whispered against your skin in the quiet moments between kisses. heeseung’s touch was both possessive and gentle, as though he was claiming you but also offering himself to you in return. the intensity of the moment was overwhelming, but it was the tenderness in his gaze, the softness of his touch, that made your heart ache with something deeper than mere desire.

and as the night stretched on, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony, you realised that this wasn’t just about passion—it was about the connection you had been fighting against for so long. the rivalry, the bickering, the walls you had both built between you—it all crumbled away, leaving only the raw truth of what you felt for one another.

when it was over, you lay beside each other, your breathing heavy, your bodies tangled in the sheets. the room was quiet now, the only sound was the soft rustle of the fabric and the faint crackle of the dying fire in the hearth.

heeseung turned to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. his eyes, once so cold and guarded, were warm now, filled with an emotion that made your heart skip a beat. he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and holding you against his chest as though he couldn’t bear to let you go.

you rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. it was comforting, grounding you in the quiet aftermath of everything that had just passed between you. his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, soothing and gentle, as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

neither of you spoke, but words weren’t necessary. the silence was filled with a sense of peace, of contentment that neither of you had known before. heeseung’s touch was soft now, filled with care as he held you close, his body warm and protective against yours.

and in that quiet, intimate moment, you realised something: this was more than just passion, more than just desire. it was something real, something lasting.

heeseung’s hand continued to trace gentle patterns on your back, his lips brushing your temple as he whispered softly, “are you alright?”

you smiled against his chest, your heart swelling with warmth at the tenderness in his voice. “more than alright,” you murmured, snuggling closer to him.

heeseung let out a soft sigh, his arms tightening around you as if he never wanted to let go. and as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, the weight of the past finally lifted, leaving only the warmth of the present and the promise of a future you were both ready to embrace.

the next morning, you woke to find heeseung already up, standing by the window of your shared chambers, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the early morning light. he looked deep in thought, his expression pensive as he gazed out over the kingdom.

quietly, you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. he stiffened for a moment at the contact but quickly relaxed, his hands covering yours as he let out a soft sigh.

“you’re up early,” you murmured, resting your cheek against his back.

“i couldn’t sleep,” he replied, his voice thoughtful. “i was thinking about everything that’s changed.”

you smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. “a lot has changed, hasn’t it?”

heeseung turned in your arms, his expression soft as he looked down at you. “i never thought this would work,” he admitted, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “but i’m glad i was wrong.”

you gazed up at him, your heart swelling with warmth. the man standing before you was the same heeseung you had known all your life, but now, you saw him for who he truly was—not your enemy, not your rival, but your partner. your husband.

“i’m glad too,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing for a moment, a small smile playing on his lips.

and in that moment, you knew that this was your new beginning. the past, with all its bitterness and tension, was behind you. what lay ahead was a future you hadn’t expected but one you were ready to embrace—together.

as heeseung pulled you into a gentle kiss, the warmth of the morning sun streaming through the window, you knew that this was the start of something beautiful. your marriage, once forged out of obligation and resentment, had grown into something real, something lasting.

and as you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, you realised that sometimes, the best love stories were the ones you never saw coming.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

taglist: @punchbug9-blog @firstclassjaylee @capri-cuntz @addictedtohobi @jaysfavoritegirl

𝐒𝐔𝐍 & 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 | 𝐏𝐒𝐇

PAIRING: neglected prince! sunghoon x princess! reader

SUMMARY: park sunghoon, the forsaken prince of the south, had always lived in the shadows of jaeyun's favor. but then you arrived. your presence ignited a flame within him that he had long thought extinguished, and he became profoundly attached to you.

but, when the news of your marriage to jaeyun, the very bastard who had usurped everything sunghoon held dear—reached him, his world shattered once again. now, consumed by helplessness and bitter longing, he understands that no matter how desperately you both cling to each other, you are slipping through his fingers. there is nothing he can do but watch as the love you share is slowly pulled away, knowing that no amount of trying can change the fate that’s already been written. but still, he is willing to try.

GENRE: royalty, love triangle, forbidden love, angst, smut, fluff if you squint

WORD COUNT: 9k

RELEASED: 12th september

TAGLIST: @dollyyun @indigoez @shuichi-sama @capri-cuntz @jiminie-08

@isa942572 @tasnim10 @alienqbrain @arcimedais @irers @mitmit01

@304files @sjakewrld @superbbananananana @deezbin @woorcve

WARNINGS: poor attempt at angst, sunghoon kinda desperate, unprotected sex, pull out method, fingering, breast play,

***

sunghoon was born into a world of privilege and wealth. he was surrounded by unending luxury since he was the lone heir to the royal line. his father planned a sumptuous feast to celebrate his birth and mark the coming of the beloved prince.

everything he could ask for was at his fingertips. he was educated by the most esteemed scholars, dressed in the finest silks, and surrounded by attendants eager to fulfill his every whim. he received expert sword training, had access to the most prestigious collections of art and music, and was given a magnificent garden by his mother.

he embraced every luxury and opportunity, fully prepared to ascend the throne one day. but everything changed when he turned ten. the king, to sunghoon's utter disbelief, revealed the existence of another son, jaeyun, an illegitimate child born of a mistress. 

people were at ease calling jaeyun the king's son, even though he lacked the royal qualities sunghoon so clearly displayed and looked nothing like the king. yet, what infuriated sunghoon most was the king announcing jaeyun as the crown prince, casting aside the rightful heir who carried the true royal blood.

sunghoon was left in a storm of anger and betrayal, unable to understand how his father could deprive him of his birthright and give preference to a kid who, in his opinion, was just a fake.

jaeyun swiftly rose to become the beloved, kind kid of the castle. and as he became the kingdom's favorite, sunghoon watched in rage. it was almost like a bad joke. nobility, attendants, and even royal officials all admired the mistress's kid, the bastard. they spoke of him as the real example of morality and commended his generosity, compassion, and soft heart. in the meantime, sunghoon was ignored, written off as nothing more than a spoilt, pampered prince who was born into wealth and status but didn't deserve the affection of the people.

the world around him refused to treat sunghoon with respect or justice, and his mother was the only one who stood up for him. but, despite her best efforts, the bitterness that was consuming him remained, and she was unable to protect him from the constant barrage of rumors that were echoing through the hallways and comparing him to jaeyun.

sunghoon hated jaeyun for stealing everything from him, including his position, title, and the affection that was rightfully his. but what he hated even more was jaeyun's constant attempts to build a bond between them, as if they were meant to be brothers. he always smiled and stretched out to sunghoon with his boundless generosity. sunghoon couldn't stand it. he hated that every time he made jaeyun cry or called him derogatory names, or pushed him away, jaeyun would always forgive him. that unwavering kindness served as a constant reminder that jaeyun will always be the preferred one, which only made  unghoon more enraged. he never referred to him as a brother since, to him, jaeyun was only a bastard.

but there was one thing sunghoon believed that the bastard couldn’t have; you. 

you were the only princess of a faraway kingdom, visiting theirs for the first time when you were seventeen. sunghoon first met you in his garden one bright morning, where the soft sunlight cast a golden glow on you as you were determined to gather a tangerine from one of the trees. he stood in amused silence as he watched you struggle, your expensive dress catching on branches as you failed miserably at climbing the tree.

“i do not recall permitting strangers to enter my garden?” he called out to you, a smirk playing on his lips. the sound of his words frightened you to the point that you lost your balance and fell off the tree. but before you could hit the ground, sunghoon was there, swift and steady, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you against him. he held you close, his grip firm and protective, your faces mere inches apart as you both froze in the moment, his gaze fixed on yours. “stealing tangerines, my lady?” 

he liked you in that moment, your wide-eyed surprise and the way you had been so determined despite the absurdity of climbing a tree in such fine clothes. there was something endearing in your boldness, in the way you held your breath as if caught in a mischievous act. sunghoon found himself lingering a little longer, not letting you go immediately, enjoying the closeness. and though he spoke of tangerines, it was clear that his interest had already shifted entirely to you.

but he knew he had fallen in love with you when you began treating him with kindness, not out of obligation like everyone else in the castle did. your kindness wasn’t because he was a prince or someone you had to impress. it was genuine, natural, and so effortlessly sincere. you spoke to him as if he were just sunghoon, not the forgotten heir, not the spoiled prince, but simply a person. it was in the way you laughed with him, how you listened, and how you seemed to see him for who he truly was. and that, more than anything, captivated him.

he sought your attention whenever you came, always finding excuses to be near you. whether it was arranging to meet in the garden again or subtly positioning himself where you would be, he was driven by a desire to be close to you. your presence, your genuine warmth, became the highlight of his days. he cherished every moment, every conversation, and every smile, desperate to savor the connection he had come to treasure more than anything else in his world.

you made him run after you for a whole two years, tirelessly pursuing you with an intensity that left no doubt about his feelings. he begged for your attention, presented you with countless gifts, and did everything in his power to win your heart, all in an effort to prove his devotion to you.

every time you visited his kingdom, he was there, waiting, hoping, and showing you just how much you meant to him, making you feel as though you were the only girl gracing the world with your beauty and grace. 

and finally, you accepted him into your heart. 

you began meeting him in secret, sneaking away from the prying eyes of the court. you both knew that keeping your relationship hidden was the only way to avoid the mess that would come from the royal court’s intense scrutiny. if people found out, it could create a scandal, stirring up all sorts of trouble and judgment. with sunghoon’s complicated position and the favoritism toward jaeyun, you wanted to protect what you had from all that drama. so, your secret meetings were your way of keeping your love safe and away from the harsh realities of court life.

you knew he truly loved you. it wasn’t just in the way he looked at you, but in every small thing he did to keep you close. his love for you ran so deep, it felt like something unbreakable, something that would make anyone jealous if they knew about it. he didn’t just see you as an escape from his struggles; you became his reason for peace, the one person who made all the weight of the world disappear when he was with you. and as much as he adored you, your love for him was just as fierce, a connection so intense that it felt like nothing could come between you, not even the royal court or the kingdom’s expectations.

though, it had all been an illusion – an illusion you both had created in your minds, one that allowed you to live in happiness for a time. but it was always fragile, destined to shatter eventually.

it came crashing down when your families made an unexpected arrangement – one that bound you to jaeyun instead. the announcement that you were to wed him, and not sunghoon, tore through everything you had shared. the life you had envisioned with sunghoon vanished in an instant, leaving only the cold, harsh truth of the kingdom's expectations. 

he thought you were his, that no matter what titles jaeyun held or how beloved he was by the kingdom, you belonged to sunghoon alone. jaeyun could never take that from him, or so he thought. but sunghoon was mistaken. the moment the marriage preparations started, he realized with crushing clarity that even you, the one thing he believed jaeyun could never possess, had been about to taken from him.

sunghoon’s frustration boiled over in the days following the preparations. the thought of you standing beside jaeyun, the very person who had stolen everything from him, sent waves of anger coursing through his veins. he couldn’t understand how fate could be so cruel – how it could give him someone as precious as you, only to rip you away and place you in the arms of the bastard he despised. 

that’s why sunghoon couldn’t just sit still and watch you slip away. his anger turned to determination, and one day he stormed into his father’s chambers. he didn’t know that was going to be the first mistake he made.

“how can you be so blind?! jaeyun is nothing but a bastard from the slums, not even your real child. and now you’re marrying off the princess of the east to him? this is a disgrace and an insult to the royal family and to her!” 

after sunghoon’s outburst, the king’s eyes narrowed with a mix of suspicion and fury. “you have no right to question my decisions! what is it that’s making you act out so violently?! is there a secret affair between you and the princess that you’re trying to protect? speak now before i take drastic measures!”

sunghoon stood paralyzed, his throat tightening as he struggled to find the right words. fear gripped him, thinking that disclosing any details about his relationship with you would put you at risk. he couldn’t afford for you to be harmed in any way. the words caught in his throat, and his silence only served to heighten the king’s suspicion. unbeknownst to him, this inability to respond only made him appear more guilty in his father’s eyes.

the king laughed bitterly, a harsh, derisive sound that filled the room. “so, you have no defense, only silence. how convenient. it seems you have been hiding something after all.” the king walked up to sunghoon, his hands clasped behind and a sick smile adorning his face. “pray tell, son, do you truly believe yourself a more suitable match for the princess? do you imagine that a mere boy like yourself could bring her the happiness she deserves? do you even understand the nature of women, boy? jaeyun will prove a far better husband for her than you ever could. he embodies all that you lack—kindness, duty, wisdom, and the adoration of the people. most importantly, he will be a true family man, qualities you sorely lack.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, and eyes fell to the floor, his father's words cutting through him like a blade. he felt as if he was nothing more than a pampered fool, unworthy of the love he sought and the life he was born into. he clenched his fists, struggling to push back the crushing weight of his own insecurities.

“she will wed jaeyun, and if you possess even a shred of regard for her well-being, you will abandon this foolish defiance. if your love for her is genuine, then you will step aside with dignity, for any further insolence will only bring suffering upon her—suffering caused by your own unworthy and unlovable nature.” with those final words, the kind left no room for further discussion, his decision made clear.

his heart, once filled with certainty and defiance, now cracked under the weight of doubt. he felt a wave of self-loathing wash over him. the king’s contemptuous questions echoed in his mind, making him question his worth and his place in the world. was he truly so unfit to love you? had his anger and resentment blinded him to his own flaws? was jaeyun truly the better man—the one who could offer you everything sunghoon never could? the thought of stepping aside, of watching you live a life with jaeyun, made his chest tighten with unbearable pain. he had always believed you were his, that his love was enough, but now... now, he wasn’t sure of anything.

a dark seed of insecurity planted itself in his heart, twisting his anger into something deeper, more dangerous. it was no longer just about losing his birthright; now, it was about losing you, the one person who made him feel like more than just a shadow. the idea of you loving jaeyun, of smiling for him the way you once smiled for sunghoon, was enough to drive him mad. but still, the king’s words echoed in his mind: if you truly love her, you will let her go. and for the first time in his life, sunghoon didn’t know if he was strong enough to do that.

and as he watched you across the table one dinner night, his gaze never left you. he observed your every movement as you sat beside jaeyun, the way your hand delicately rested near his, how jaeyun leaned closer to speak with you. every soft smile you gave jaeyun felt like a dagger in his chest. sunghoon’s jaw tightened as he gripped his cup, a torrent of emotions raging inside him. 

that should be me.

she should be marrying me, not him.

unable to take it any longer, sunghoon abruptly stood, the sound of his chair scraping across the floor echoing through the room. all eyes shifted towards him, but he didn’t care. his gaze remained fixed on you. 

“this charade has gone on long enough,” sunghoon declared, his voice cutting through the murmur of conversation. “i have no time for this.”

the king’s face darkened with anger as he seethed, his voice harsh and commanding. “sit down, sunghoon. the evening is not over, yet.”

sunghoon met his father’s glare with a defiant stare. “i refuse to be part of this farce,” he replied sharply. his eyes then shifted to you, and in that fleeting moment, his gaze was filled with longing. “i will take my leave now, your majesty.”

without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and strode out of the hall, his footsteps echoing as he made his way toward the exit. he threw one last meaningful glance over his shoulder, his eyes lingering on you with an intensity that spoke of all he couldn’t say. the door slammed shut behind him, leaving an empty seat and a heavy silence in his wake.

that night, sunghoon knew for certain that he couldn’t bear the thought of jaeyun’s hands on you. even the mere idea of jaeyun taking what was meant to be sunghoon’s was unbearable. his insecurities, his pain, all fed into a singular, desperate resolve: he would make you his. you might be promised to jaeyun by royal decree, but sunghoon would make sure that it was his touch, his smell, his presence, that lingered in your thoughts, that stayed with you long after the wedding vows were spoken. he couldn’t let jaeyun steal this last piece of his world, and he was willing to keep you tied to him, heart and soul. 

*

you wander through the garden, eyes scanning the surroundings as you search for your lover. you find him in his garden, as always. the early morning sun bathes the greenery in a soft, golden glow, its light just beginning to filter through the trees. the air is crisp, but you feel a simmering frustration inside as you approach sunghoon, who stands with his back to you, staring into the distance.

"what was that all about last night?" you ask, your tone sharp but not quite angry. it’s more of an irritated curiosity, the kind that demands an answer but without real fury behind it.

he doesn’t turn immediately, but you can see the tension in his posture. after a moment, he glances over his shoulder, eyes meeting yours. 

“you can’t seriously be asking me that.” he says quietly, though there’s an edge to his voice.

“i am,” you reply, stepping closer. “i don’t understand why you acted that way in front of everyone.”

sunghoon finally turns to face you fully, crossing his arms as he leans back against the stone bench. his gaze is intense, like the morning sun itself. “what else was i supposed to do? sit there and pretend everything’s fine? pretend i don’t care when jaeyun’s sitting next to you like-” he cuts himself off, jaw tightening.

you sigh, crossing your own arms. “you can’t keep doing that, sunghoon. storming off, making a scene. it only makes things harder.”

“for who?” he snaps. “for me? for you? or for that bastard, who gets everything handed to him while i-” his voice wavers before he swallows hard, regaining his composure.

there’s a beat of silence between you two, the only sound being the soft rustle of the leaves in the breeze. the frustration still lingers in the air, but underneath it is something deeper, unspoken, pulling at both of you.

abruptly, sunghoon closes the gap, his hands finding your cheeks with a surprising tenderness. the suddenness of his touch makes your breath hitch, your heart skipping a beat as his fingers brush lightly against your skin, holding you in place with an intensity that leaves you momentarily frozen.

“you don’t get it, do you, my love?” sunghoon’s voice trembles slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. “you don’t get how i can’t bear to see jaeyun near you,” he says, his nose brushing gently against yours, the touch almost tender, as if he’s trying to bridge the gap between your hearts.

“stop, someone could see us.” you attempt to push him away, but he stands his ground, his body staying firmly in place as if anchored to the spot. 

“no, you don’t get that even just the thought of him breathing the same air as you drives me to the edge of madness,” he continues, his voice growing more urgent. “you, my love, don’t get how much it hurts that he has what should be mine - that you are to wed him, even when you should only be mine.” sunghoon’s grip tightens on your cheeks, his eyes never leaving yours. 

you hold his wrists, your voice filled with emotion. “don’t say it like that, sunghoon. i am yours, always and forever. not a day goes by that i am not yours. i shall be yours forever. my beloved prince, the only thing keeping us apart is the world. i need you to feel and know that nothing, not even a promise or a crown, can ever change the reality of who we are.”

the weight of everything presses down on you in that moment, his touch, his words, the sharp edge of the world you both live in. your mind spins, torn between the life you've been forced into and the one you yearn for. sunghoon’s desperation, his jealousy, mirrors the conflict in your own heart. a part of you wishes you could forget the chains that bind you to the kingdom, to jaeyun, to duty. but reality is there.

you know the risks, the consequences that will follow if you give in to this, yet here you are, heart racing, palms sweaty, trembling under his touch. sunghoon’s love is overwhelming, but a part of you craves it. it’s been so long since you’ve felt that from anyone. he wants you fully, without restraint, and that truth fills your chest with warmth, even though it terrifies you.

but there’s guilt, too. jaeyun. the wedding. the vows you haven’t spoken yet but are bound by, nonetheless. you wonder if there’s a way out, if you could ever find peace in the chaos that surrounds you. you want to reach out, to close the gap that has been forced between you. 

despite the anxiety swirling within you, sunghoon’s presence feels like a powerful anchor, grounding you in a way nothing else can. his closeness, his unwavering focus on you, drowns out the chaos and fear. his love feels like both a burden and a gift, but in this moment, you realize how deeply you want to bear it.

“i want to show you a place,” you say quietly, your voice steadying as you pull back just enough to meet his gaze.

his brow furrows slightly, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

you take his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. “come with me.”

you lead sunghoon deeper into the forest, the trees growing denser with every step. branches twist together overhead, blocking out most of the light, casting the two of you in shadows. it’s a narrow, almost overgrown path—one that seems untouched, hidden from the world. 

after several minutes of walking in silence, sunghoon speaks up "where are you taking me?"

you glance over your shoulder, offering a small smile. “i know a place. somewhere no one will find us. just us.”

he doesn’t press further, and you continue the trek, leading him through the maze of trees. the forest seems almost impenetrable, the thick canopy overhead making it feel as if the world outside doesn’t exist. it’s as though you’ve left everything behind- the kingdom, the responsibilities, jaeyun - all of it feels far away here.

finally, after what feels like a long walk, the trees begin to part, but not in any obvious way. the path narrows further, and you have to push aside a thick cluster of branches. beyond the trees, the hidden lake comes into view, shrouded by the dense foliage that surrounds it. its surface is perfectly still, barely catching any sunlight from the sky above. it’s a place that could easily go unnoticed, tucked away in this forgotten corner of the forest.

you step aside to let sunghoon take in the view, the two of you standing at the edge of the water. “this is it,” you say softly. “no one ever comes here. it’s just us.”

sunghoon’s grip on your hand loosening slightly as his eyes scan the serene scene before you both. the hidden lake is breathtaking, a secret world untouched by the palace’s watchful eyes. the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze and the gentle ripple of water are the only sounds breaking the silence between you.

after a moment, he speaks, his voice laced with curiosity. “how did you come to know of this place?” he glances at you, brow raised. “i’ve lived here my whole life, and yet i was unaware of its existence.”

you flash him a cocky smile, a teasing glint in your eyes. "the castle walls are thin," you say with a playful tone, leaning in slightly. "i overheard one of the servants talking about it."

sunghoon lets out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “so, the esteemed princess of the  east takes it upon herself to eavesdrop on the musings of servants?”

you laugh, shrugging. "sometimes it pays off. i couldn’t resist coming to see if it was real. and now..."

your gaze grows more sultry, a hint of mischief dancing in your eyes. you step closer, fingers brushing lightly against his chest as you slowly unfasten the buttons of his blouse. the intimate gesture shifts the mood, and the air around you becomes charged with a new, heated energy.

“and now,” you say again softly, your voice a mere whisper against his ear, “i think it’s time we enjoy this secret together, don’t you?”

sunghoon’s breath catches, and eyes darken at your words, faces inches away from each other.

the blouse slips off his shoulders, exposing the smooth lines of his chest. his hand reaches for your wrist, guiding it to rest gently on his chest, where you can feel the rapid thrum of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips. he holds your gaze, a silent question lingering in his eyes, waiting for you to respond to the unspoken invitation.

without warning, you grasp the back of his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pull him toward you with a forceful urgency. his eyes widen in surprise, but they quickly soften as your lips crash against his. the kiss is fierce, filled with the passion and frustration that have been building between you, a desperate need to close the distance that has always existed.

sunghoon’s breath catches in his throat as he responds, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if trying to fuse your very beings together. 

he pulls away just enough to catch his breath. he speaks with a voice rough and filled with an almost primal need. “do you crave me too like i crave you, y/n?” then, he moves to your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he presses a series of burning kisses along your collarbone. "like i crave your body, every inch of you,” he murmurs between kisses, "the way you feel against me, the sound of your breath, the taste of your skin. please, i need all of you." 

“then have me, my beloved. have me all to yourself.”

your breaths mingle, warm and ragged, as you stay close. sunghoon’s hands slide to the front of your kirtle, his fingers finding the strings that are secured at your chest and he works them loose.

as the kirtle loosens, it gradually falls away from your shoulders, exposing your bare body to his appreciative eyes. sunghoon’s gaze roams over you with unabashed hunger, his eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts, the softness of your skin. the sight of you, fully revealed, makes his breath quicken and his eyes darken with raw, intense desire. he takes in every detail with a mixture of awe and possessiveness, as if he’s discovering a hidden treasure that belongs only to him.

to him, you are nothing short of a blessing, a gift that he feels unworthy of receiving. his breath catches as he takes in every curve, every detail, his heart swelling with an overwhelming sense of adoration. he feels blessed just to be in your presence, to witness you like this.

"you’re more beautiful than i ever dreamed." he whispers, his voice reverent, filled with a deep, unshakable awe.

he slowly removes his breeches, freeing himself from its confines, his movements unhurried. as his garment falls away, your eyes linger on him for a moment, drawn to the sight of his exposed manhood. a rush of heat floods your cheeks. your gaze trails over his physique, the hard lines of muscle and the evidence of his arousal, standing proudly before you.

sunghoon smirks at the shy look in your eyes before he reaches for your hand with a gentle yet firm grip, guiding you toward the shimmering surface of the lake. his touch is both reassuring and electrifying as he leads you into the cool, inviting water, the gentle ripples caressing your skin as you step together into the embrace of the lake’s serene depths.

“now, aren’t you my swan?” he murmurs, his voice soft. with deliberate slowness, he reaches out, brushing aside the strands of hair that had been modestly shielding your breasts. “such beauty, such grace. oh my lord, is it all for me, my love?” 

sunghoon pulls you closer, his chest pressing firmly against yours as his lips find yours once again, the kiss deeper and more fervent. the gentle waves lap at your skin, but the only thing you feel is him, his hands gripping your waist, his lips moving in sync with yours, the sheer desire in the way he touches you.

his hands roam over your back, the cool water contrasting with the fire that blazes between your bodies. you feel the way his fingers press into your skin, the possessive grip of someone who has craved you for too long, unable to hold back anymore. his breath is ragged against your lips, each kiss hotter and hungrier than the last.

"you're all mine, right?" he whispers between kisses, and you can only softly hum as an answer. 

his lips move down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking gently at the sensitive skin, drawing soft moans from your lips. hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you flush against him, and you can feel the hardness of his cock pressing against your thigh beneath the water. a rush of heat surges through you, mixing with the cool sensation of the lake, and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, steadying yourself as his kisses grow more fervent, more desperate.

sunghoon's lips trail lower, grazing over your collarbone and down toward your chest, his breath hot against your damp skin. every touch sends shivers through your body, your pulse quickening as his hands explore the curves of your waist, your hips, your ass. he tilts his head back up, head resting on the valley of your tits, eyes locked onto yours with a look of pure hunger.

the voice is low and hoarse as he breathes against your skin, “please tell me you’re mine, i need to hear it. i need to know you’re only mine. that no one else will ever have you like this.” his hands tighten slightly on your waist, his gaze burning into yours, desperate for your answer. "say it, please… that you’re mine, now and always." his breath shaky, waiting for you to respond, his need for reassurance almost as overwhelming as his desire for you.

you cradle his cheeks in your hands, your eyes softening. “in this moment, and every moment that follows, i am wholly yours. i promise you, my dearest, no one else will ever touch me, love me, or have me like you do. only you have this piece of me, forever.” you pull him for a kiss, pouring every ounce of your affection and reassurance into it. his grip on you tightens, and before you realize it, he has you pressed up against the edge of the lake, your back against the cool stone as he leans into you, while his lips continue to caress yours with a loving, unhurried rhythm.

his hands roam freely now, the water sloshing gently around you as his touch becomes bolder. the tension that’s been simmering between you for so long has reached its breaking point, and neither of you can resist it any longer. you can feel every inch of him against you, the heat, the longing, the urgency in the way he holds you. 

“i want you to make love to me, sunghoon.” 

sunghoon’s eyes darken with a fierce intensity as he hears your plea. he pulls back slightly, his breath mingling with yours. “i’ve waited my whole life for this, my love.”

as sunghoon captures your lips once more, the kiss quickly deepens. he bites down on your lower lip, causing you to whine into his mouth. seizing the opportunity, he slips his tongue into your moist heat, seeking yours with fevered urgency. his movements are messy, growing hungrier and sloppier with each passing second. the way his mouth devours yours, the slick heat of his tongue against yours, makes it feel as though you’re both desperately trying to claim every part of the other. 

your breath falters when his hands move to your breasts, fingers curling around them with a firm, possessive grip. his palms brush over your sensitive nipples, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. it overwhelms you, and you break the kiss, your forehead resting against his as you pant softly. a thin string of saliva still connects your parted lips. unwavered, he begins to massage, kneading the soft flesh with a steady rhythm, your gazes locked. the pressure of his hands send waves of slick pooling in your cutn, each squeeze making your nipples tighten even more.

then he lowers himself to the same height as your nipples, taking one into his mouth and beginning to suck it like a parched man at an oasis. with a consuming rhythm, his tongue tracing circles around the sensitive peak. he lavishes the same attention on the other, his fingers deftly rolling and pinching the neglected nipple. the combined sensations of his warm, eager mouth and the stimulation from his fingers cause a moan to escape your lips before you can hold it back. you bite down on your lower lip in a futile attempt to stifle the sound, but your body betraying you as quiet gasps escape.

he pulls away from your nipple with a wet, audible pop and looks at you, his eyes dark with desire. “don’t try to hold back,” he commands, though his voice betrays a hint of need. “i want to hear every sound you make.”

he then attaches himself to your other nipple, wetting it with his saliva like the other one. your hands instinctively grip his hair as you arch your back. his mouth works eagerly, his tongue flicking and sucking with a relentless rhythm. his fingers dip into the water and finds your clit, teasing it with skilled strokes.

the pleasure builds swiftly as he lavishes your breasts with attention, his hot, insistent mouth working in tandem with the relentless stimulation below. the overwhelming sensations push you to the edge, gasps and moans escaping uncontrollably as your body trembles under his touch.

“sunghoon… it feels-” you say, tightening your grip on his hair as you battle to retain your control.

“good? this is nothing compared to what i am about to make you feel, my love.” 

suddenly, a loud moan erupts from you as his finger breaches your entrance, sliding inside with a slow, deliberate motion. the new sensation leaves you breathless, your body instinctively pushing back against his hand, wanting more. the sight of him never taking his eyes from your face as he keeps busying his mouth, sucking and teasing your nipple, is an utterly lewd display, his gaze filled with raw desire. 

he curls his finger within you, searching for that perfect spot to send you spiraling further into pleasure. every movement of his hand is synchronized with his mouth on your chest, his touch igniting a fire that spreads through your entire body. you feel yourself losing control, the overwhelming pleasure making it harder to hold back your cries.

he inserts another finger inside you, scissoring them to ease you open nicely. you feel a deep pressure building within, like a tightly wound knot yearning to be undone. with each stroke, the tension winds tighter, leaving you aching with a desperate need for release.

“i… ugh please, sunghoon, i wanna cum,” you plead, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the urgency of your desire. hearing the desperation in your voice, his fingers hasten, thrusting deeper with a renewed fervor. every stroke sends a jolt of pleasure through you, drawing you closer to the brink, your body instinctively arching towards him as the pressure inside you mounts, ready to burst.

the lake water churns around his rapidly moving wrist, splashing against parts of your body that have remained dry until now. the sudden coolness of the water only heightens your climax as you come undone on his fingers. your broken moans reverberate through the forest, and you can only cling to the hope that no one is nearby to hear you.

sunghoon helps you ride out your orgasm before withdrawing his fingers. gently, he brushes the damp strands of hair clinging to your face from sweat, then cups your face in his hands and captures your lips in a searing kiss. lips moving against each other in a harmonious rhythm, and his tongue dances with yours in a way that feels both urgent and consuming.

sunghoon's fingers trail down the sides of your thighs, gripping hard enough to leave marks, his eyes burning with desire as they wordlessly tell you to prepare yourself.

with a throaty sound, he pulls you up in one swift motion, your body rising from the water as his hands grip your thighs tightly. your legs instinctively wrap around him, pulling him against you as he steps forward, pinning you against the rugged stone, its cold surface digging into your skin.

you cling to his shoulders, nails biting into his skin as he keeps you suspended against the rough stone. his hands move higher up your thighs, fingers digging in as he adjusts his grip, making sure you're locked around him. 

you feel the tip of his cock pressing against your folds, the thin layer of water between you doing nothing to cool the growing heat. you both whimper when his hips press forward, cock grinding against your folds in slow, teasing motions.

“sunghoon, don’t tease,” you moan as his cock’s tip presses inside you, then pulls out with a maddening slowness. the slick head brushes against your sensitive inner walls before withdrawing, making your body writhe in frustration. you shiver, your hole gaping as it aches for the fullness that was just barely given. “please, just fill me up. i need you inside me."

hearing your desperate plea, his hips snap forward with a brutal force, the head of his cock slamming deep inside you. a guttural groan rumbles from his throat as he fills you completely, stretching you with a pressure so intense it makes you shiver. you moan loudly, your walls clamping down around him, trying to accommodate his hard, throbbing length.

he wastes no time, thrusting into you with a relentless pace, each motion driving him deeper, his cock dragging along your inner walls with an intoxicating friction. the raw and rough feeling of him moving in and out makes your body quiver with intense pleasure.

he thrusts into you with such unrelenting force that each powerful stroke causes you to bounce up and down on his cock, making your tits jiggle with every thrust, moving rhythmically to match his powerful rhythm. his strong arms, wrapped securely around your thighs, keep you steady; without his firm hold, you would surely topple into the water. 

while he continues to drive into you, he lowers his mouth to your collarbone and begins to kiss, bite and lick the sensitive skin there. his lips are hot and insistent, trailing a path of fiery pleasure along your neck and shoulders. your mouth falls open in a breathless gasp, the only sounds escaping you are guttural moans of ugh ugh ugh that reverberate in the air.

as the pressure inside you mounts, your fingers claw at his back, leaving angry red trails as you cling to him for support. each thrust he delivers feels impossibly deep, his cock stretching you to the brink with every powerful movement. 

your climax builds rapidly, and you clench around him, muscles spasming around his cock with intense need. you can hardly keep your moans in check, the sound of your gasps mingling with the rhythmic slapping of flesh.

feeling the way your pussy tightens around him, he growls low and rough into your ear, his voice dripping with lust. “you’re so tight, my love, i can barely hold on. perfectly wrapped around my cock like you were made for me.” his filthy words drive you even closer to the edge. your head is thrown back, eyes shut tight, your body quaking uncontrollably as you come undone around his cock. 

he continues to thrust into you with relentless intensity. your body, already sensitive and over-stimulated from your recent climax, quakes with every powerful motion. the sensation of his hard cock pounding inside you is nearly overwhelming, making it difficult to catch your breath as the relentless pleasure surges through you.

as he feels the pressure building within him, he pulls out abruptly, the sudden emptiness making you gasp and shiver. his grip on you tightens with one strong arm, keeping you pressed  between the wall and his chest. with his other hand, he begins to pump his throbbing cock furiously, his movements desperate and urgent. each stroke is fast and rough, his hand sliding up and down his length with a frenzied rhythm as he chases his own climax.

his breath grows ragged and uneven, his groans becoming more guttural as he nears the edge. the water around begins to ripple with his frantic movements, the sound of his pleasure mingling with your own gasps. finally, with a low, throaty growl, he reaches his peak, his body convulsing as thick, hot streams of cum shoot from the tip of his cock. the warmth of his release spills into the water, mixing with the ripples created by your own tremors.

as he finishes, his hand slows, and he gasps for breath, still clutching you. the lake is tainted with his cum, turning the clear water cloudy with its creamy white streaks.

sunghoon carefully lets you down, his hands slowly loosening their grip on your thighs but keeping you close, never fully letting go. your bodies remain pressed together, slick with sweat and lake water, your skin sticking to his as your chests rise and fall in sync, catching your breath. his forehead rests against yours, the warmth of his skin comforting. between you, his cock, now soft but still thick, rests against your stomach, a reminder of how nice and hard he’d just fucked you.

his lips trail across your face, soft and unhurried, each kiss deliberate and warm. the gentle brush of his nose against your cheek sends a shiver through you as he moves down to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. "i love you," he whispers, the words barely audible but filled with a deep sincerity, his voice low and intimate.

his arms remain around you, holding you close as he pulls back just enough to look into your eyes. "you're mine," he murmurs, his tone firmer now, possessive but tender.

sunghoon gently guides you out of the lake, his grip both firm and tender, ensuring your safety on the uneven ground. as you step onto the soft grass, he supports you, his hands brushing away droplets of water from your skin.

he retrieves your kirtle from where it was set aside. as he holds it up, his fingers brush your skin, sending a shiver through you. he helps you into the kirtle, the material clinging slightly as it slips over your body. sunghoon fastens the straps with a practiced touch, his fingers lingering on the delicate fabric. each movement is meticulous, as if he’s trying to memorize every detail of this fleeting moment.

as sunghoon finishes fastening the last strap of your kirtle, his thoughts drift to the bittersweet reality of your situation. he feels incredibly fortunate to have shared such a deep connection with you, to have experienced your love and to hold you in his arms. the warmth of the moment, the way you look at him, and the way your body fits against his all fill him with a profound sense of luck.

yet, this profound sense of luck is tempered by a heavy dose of misfortune. the knowledge that you will soon leave his side to return to jaeyun and the duties that come with being by his side weighs heavily on him. the thought of you being with someone else, especially that someone being jaeyun, fills him with an ache he can’t easily shake.

sunghoon’s heart longs for more than just these moments. he wishes he could take you far away from the constraints of the kingdom, from jaeyun, and from the burdens of duty. he dreams of a place where the only thing that matters is the two of you, where worries and obligations don’t intrude on your happiness.

for now, though, all he can do is hold you close, cherish the time you have together, and hope that one day, he can make his dream of a life together away from everything else a reality.

“if only we could remain like this forever.” hee murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, holding you close one last time before you part again. as he drapes his blouse over your shoulders to shield you from the morning breeze, he presses a soft kiss to your neck, his touch lingering with a tender warmth.

*

being with sunghoon is not without its difficulties. each moment together demands a careful balance, where every look and touch is meticulously controlled to keep your affair with him under wraps. 

over the years, you've both perfected this unspoken language. a fleeting glance, a slight tilt of the head, or a barely perceptible smile - all of these become powerful tools in your covert exchanges. it’s an intricate dance of subtlety and intuition, where a single look can convey a world of emotions and thoughts. you've learned to read each other's cues with astonishing accuracy, understanding what the other is saying without a single word being spoken.

sunghoon, for instance, has become adept at detecting the smallest signs of your distress. he can sense when you're upset by the way your gaze momentarily drifts or how your smile falters just a fraction too long. a subtle furrow of your brow or the way you avoid direct eye speaks volumes to him. he’s attuned to these subtle signals, knowing instantly when something is amiss.

just like always, he notices how your body language shifts subtly right now too - the way you absently fidget with your dress or how your gaze drifts towards the window, clearly searching for an escape from the stifling room. it’s evident to him that you're not enjoying the conversation between your older brother jongseong and jaeyun, as they drone on about politics and subjects that bore you to tears.

sunghoon’s eyes narrow slightly as he watches you, his concern masked by a composed expression. he can see the restlessness in your posture, the way you shift your weight from one foot to the other. every now and then, you glance at the door as if willing it to open and offer a reprieve.

oh, the ways he could make you feel good, unlike jaeyun who is making you listen political matters that you couldn’t care less. 

he could slip his fingers inside you, feeling every tight, hot inch as he stroked and teased those sensitive spots, making you writhe with overwhelming pleasure. his mouth could bury itself between your legs, lapping up your sweet nectar and driving you wild with every skilled lick and insistent suck. and his cock, it could plunge deep inside you, filling you to the hilt and delivering a relentless, mind-shattering pleasure that no other man could ever hope to match.

he fantasizes about taking you in this very room, in front of jaeyun, to prove just how much you crave him and need him to make you forget everything else. sunghoon imagines your body responding to his touch, the sounds of your moans calling out his name, and how he could bring you to a peak of pleasure that leaves you utterly spent, all while jaeyun watches as soon-to-be-bride being ravished by him.

the vivid images make sunghoon’s pants tighten. he shifts slightly, trying to adjust his position discreetly, but the growing tension in his trousers becomes impossible to ignore. he knows he needs to act on his desire, and quickly. sunghoon subtly shifts his gaze towards you, his eyes locking with yours for a fleeting moment, filled with a smoldering intensity. then, with a casual but deliberate movement, he crosses his arms over his chest and leans slightly against the wall.

his stance is carefully crafted to appear nonchalant, but his posture is intentionally relaxed, his body angled in a way that draws your attention to the slight, purposeful pressure he applies against the wall with his hip. it’s a subtle but unmistakable signal, a quiet, urgent plea for you to follow him, to find a way to get closer, and to address the growing need he has ignited within him.

as you notice his silent message, you decide to make an excuse to leave the room. you mumble about needing to step outside for some fresh air, citing a vague headache that has suddenly come on. your voice is calm, but there's an edge of urgency as you quickly exit the room.

jaeyun’s gaze follows you as you leave, his eyes revealing a depth of unspoken emotions. though his expression is subdued, there’s a quiet longing in his stare. it’s more than just idle curiosity; his look reflects a mix of disappointment and a barely concealed yearning, as he silently observes your departure with a sense of unvoiced heartache.

sunghoon, noticing the subtle shift in jaeyun’s demeanor, lets a smirk creep onto his face. he meets jaeyun’s gaze with a knowing, almost triumphant expression before turning to follow you out of the room. the smirk lingers on his lips as he exits, leaving jaeyun behind, whose eyes remain fixed on the door, his expression a blend of wistful longing and resignation.

even as you're bouncing on his cock vigorously, sunghoon’s triumphant grin stays fixed, relishing the intense pleasure that the bastard never can have.

he lays on his back, eyes fixed on the way your breasts bounce with each thrust. gripping your hips tightly, he guides you to ride him harder and faster, ensuring to make sure you don’t miss a single stroke. with each movement, he takes satisfaction in the control he has over your body, his pleasure intensifying as he brings you closer to your peak.

as you cum, your body convulses with intense pleasure, and you collapse onto Sunghoon’s chest, trembling. he groans deeply, pulling out of you with a rough jerk. his thick, hot cum spills between your thighs, seeping down your skin. sunghoon, still catching his breath, carefully lays you onto your side, his eyes fixed on the mess he’s made.

with a satisfied smirk, he strokes your hair, his eyes fixed on the mess he’s made

, his cum glistening on your flushed skin. he watches intently as it trickles slowly down your inner thighs, savoring every drop. his hands, now resting possessively on your hips, hold you close, feeling the warmth of your spent body pressed against him. his breathing is ragged, each inhale a testament to the raw pleasure and control he’s reveling in. the scene of his dominance, with you at his mercy, drives him to the brink of satisfaction as he admires the evidence of his claim.

“you are breathtaking, my love.”

you smile faintly, your eyes barely open as you lay beside him, your body still trembling from the aftershocks of your climax. sunghoon’s gaze softens slightly, his smirk giving way to a genuine, if tired, smile. he runs his fingers gently over your skin, savoring the warmth and softness of you against him. 

“i want us to leave all of this behind,” he says quietly, his voice a blend of resolve and affection. “this palace, the endless expectations, the life that’s been forced upon us—let’s abandon it all. i need you with me, y/n, far away from here, where we can build something real and ours. a place where no one knows our names, where we can escape from all the burdens and start anew.”

he gently squeezes your hand, his expression earnest and hopeful. “imagine a life where we’re not bound by duty or tradition, where we can simply be ourselves, where we don’t need to hide from everyone.” 

as soon as you part your lips to say his name, “sunghoon…” his hand reaches up to gently cup your cheek, silencing you with a soft touch. his eyes are intense, filled with longing, but also with a flicker of hope as he continues.

“i know what you're going to say,” he murmurs, his voice unwavering. “but just hear me out.” he moves closer, his forehead almost resting against yours as his words spill out with quiet urgency. “we could go north, far beyond the mountains, to a place where no one knows us. i could build us a home, nothing grand, just something simple. you’ve always wanted a small house and a farm, haven’t you? somewhere quiet, peaceful, where we can live on our own terms.”

his thumb brushes over your lips, his tone growing more earnest. “i’ll work the land. i'll give you everything you need. no more castle walls, no more titles or duties. just us. we could wake up with the sun, plant gardens, raise animals, and fall asleep under the stars. you always say sheep are cute, i could get you a whole flock if you want.” you don’t miss the quivering in his voice as he rambles continuously, “imagine… you, tending to them every morning, their soft wool in your hands. maybe a little goat or two as well, something to make you smile every day. that’s all i want, y/n—a life with you, away from this place, away from everything that’s held us back.”

sunghoon’s eyes glisten slightly as he searches yours, his grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly. “we could have a life we’ve only dreamed of.” 

your eyes glisten with unshed tears as you hold his gaze, a faint, broken smile tugging at your lips. “sunghoon,” you whisper, your voice wavering. “you don’t even believe those words.”

his face falters for a moment, the hope in his eyes dimming just slightly, but his grip on you remains firm. "i do," he insists, his voice low, almost pleading. “i believe it-” 

"you want to believe it," you interrupt gently, your voice cracking. "and believe me, i want to too. i'd love to wake up next to you, tend to sheep, live that simple life… but we can’t, sunghoon." your eyes well with tears as you hold his gaze, the broken smile fading. "we can’t just leave it all behind. it’s not that simple as it sounds.” 

“please don’t say no, y/n,” he says quietly, his voice cracking with the weight of his plea. he holds you close, his grip firm but gentle.

“i’m sorry, Sunghoon,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “i wish things were different. i wish we could escape and live that life together, but i just can’t.”

sunghoon's face crumples with the weight of your words. his shoulders slump as if the very air has been knocked from his lungs. the passionate fervor in his eyes dims, replaced by a deep, aching sadness. his grip on you tightens momentarily, as if trying to hold onto the fleeting hope you offered, but the strength quickly ebbs away.

the light that once danced in his eyes is now overshadowed by a shadow of despair. he swallows hard, his chest rising and falling unevenly as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging within him. his hands, which had been tenderly cupping your face, now fall limply to his sides. 

it hits him hard. that you being with jaeyun and playing the role of his wife is like a knife in his heart. he has a tremendous feeling of hopelessness, knowing that he can no longer fight for the life he always dreamed. 

the thought of never being able to claim you openly or stand by your side without hiding makes him feel confined and smothered. he future he wished for is now permanently out of reach.

he knows that, even if he were to try and find a semblance of normalcy, he will always be living in the shadow of jaeyun. 

TANGLED DESIRES- p.sh

PAIRING: enemy!sunghoon x f!reader

SYNOPSIS: At a prestigious private school, you and Park Sunghoon are locked in a constant rivalry. During a party at your friend Karina’s, a heated argument between you two escalates into an unexpected, passionate encounter. The next morning, you wake up in his arms, forcing both of you to confront the new, complicated tension between you. As you navigate the fallout and shifting feelings, you start to question if your biggest enemy might actually be something much more.

GENRE: enemies to lovers, rich kids au

WARNINGS: smut (unprotected sex, oral sex) rivalry, hurt feelings, angst. ALL ARE OF AGE

wc: 15.4k

You attend the most prestigious school in Korea, where the sky-high tuition fees are only accessible to those born into pure wealth. This elite institution is a playground for the richest families, and your name is synonymous with success. Your family, being the owners of one of Korea’s top corporations, you seem to have everything at your fingertips—a glamorous life of luxury, an enviable social circle, and endless opportunities.

To the outside world, you’re the quintessential rich girl: impeccably stylish, effortlessly popular, and seemingly flawless. Yet beneath this polished veneer lies a different reality. Despite your privileged upbringing, you’re kind-hearted, fiercely intelligent, and deeply dedicated to everything you do. Your friend group, including Jake, Jay, Heeseung, Sunoo, Niki, Jungwon, Yuna, and Karina, forms a close-knit circle that navigates the pressures of their world together.

But there’s always been one glaring exception: Park Sunghoon. The feud between the two of you is infamous, an unspoken tension that pulses beneath the surface of your otherwise harmonious friendships. No one really knows how it started, and no one seems to care enough to unravel it. Instead, everyone just tolerates your constant bickering.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The lunch table is alive with conversation, the usual chatter amplified by the excitement of the latest gossip. Karina sits comfortably beside Heeseung, leaning into him with an easy confidence that only she can pull off. She’s in the middle of talking about her parents’ latest venture—something about opening another resort somewhere exotic—when she casually drops the bomb.

“So, they’re gone for the whole weekend,” she says, her voice loud enough to catch everyone’s attention. “And you know what that means…”

Jake perks up immediately, his eyes bright. “Party?”

Karina grins. “Obviously. Saturday night, my place. No theme this time, just show up and bring your best energy.”

Yuna claps her hands in excitement. “Finally! It’s been forever since the last one. I was starting to forget what a real party looks like.”

Jay laughs. “As if you’d ever forget. You practically live for these things.”

Yuna sticks her tongue out at him, but her smile doesn’t waver. “Guilty as charged.”

Heeseung wraps an arm around Karina’s shoulders, looking amused. “You’re not worried about your parents finding out?”

She rolls her eyes. “Please, they won’t even notice. And even if they do, what’s the worst that could happen? They’ll just buy me something to make up for being gone.”

“Must be nice,” Niki mutters, leaning back in his chair.

Sunoo nudges him with a grin. “Oh, come on, don’t act like you’re not excited. You were the first one to ask about the music last time.”

Niki shrugs, but he can’t hide his smile. “Yeah, well, only if it’s not Sunghoon’s terrible playlist again.”

You glance across the table, catching Sunghoon’s eye. He’s lounging back in his chair, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “My playlist was fine, thank you very much,” he retorts. “It’s not my fault you have no taste.”

You snort. “Please, Sunghoon, your taste in music is as bad as your taste in everything else.”

He looks over at you, eyebrow raised. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrug, feigning innocence. “Nothing, just that your definition of ‘good’ is highly questionable.”

He chuckles, the sound low and irritatingly smug. “Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Karina cuts in, sensing the rising tension. “Alright, let’s not turn this into another one of your little spats. Save it for the party, okay?”

Sunghoon smirks, still looking at you. “Looking forward to it already.”

You roll your eyes but can’t resist shooting back, “Don’t get too excited, I might just ignore you all night.”

“Oh, the horror,” he replies, his voice dripping with mock terror. “How will I ever survive?”

Jay laughs, nudging Jake. “You know, one day they might actually get along.”

Jake shakes his head, grinning. “Nah, where’s the fun in that?”

Karina steers the conversation back to the party details, running through a list of essentials while Heeseung nods along, offering suggestions. “Invite whoever you want,” she says, “oh except luci, last time I caught her giving mark head in my parents bedroom, I haven’t been able to go in there since.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, trying not to notice how Sunghoon is still watching you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you wonder what’s going through his head, but then you push the thought away. Whatever it is, it’s probably nothing you need to worry about.

Karina claps her hands, bringing the attention back to her. “So, everyone’s in?”

There’s a chorus of agreement, and the table erupts into a mix of laughter and excited chatter as plans start to form. You glance over at Sunghoon one more time, catching his eye for a brief second before looking away. This party is already shaping up to be interesting… and you have a feeling that’s an understatement.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The lunch buzz still lingers in your ears as the group makes its way back across the pristine campus grounds. The sunlight reflects off the sleek, modern architecture of the school’s main building, and you can’t help but admire the way everything here seems to sparkle—like even the bricks and mortar are aware of the school's prestige.

You find yourself walking beside Karina, who’s still chatting excitedly about the party, while Heeseung stays close, throwing in a comment or two. Yuna and Sunoo are a few steps ahead, their heads bent together as they giggle over something on Sunoo’s phone. You catch Jake and Jay trailing behind, still debating something about sports cars or the best summer destinations.

Just as you’re about to reach the entrance, you feel a presence beside you. You don’t need to turn your head to know who it is; Sunghoon always manages to sidle up to you when you least expect it.

“What, are you following me now?” you ask, not breaking your stride.

He chuckles. “Oh, please. Don’t flatter yourself. It just so happens our lockers are in the same direction.”

“Right,” you drawl, rolling your eyes. “Like you don’t go out of your way to annoy me.”

He glances at you, smirk still firmly in place. “Maybe I just like seeing you get all riled up. It’s entertaining.”

You shoot him a glare, but before you can fire back a retort, the group reaches the main hallway. The chatter from the student body fills the air, a mix of excitement and post-lunch drowsiness. The smell of expensive cologne and designer perfumes lingers in the air, an unmistakable signature of the school’s elite.

Karina stops at her locker, Heeseung leaning against it with a casual arm draped over her shoulder. She turns to you, her voice dropping conspiratorially. “So, you’re coming early on Saturday, right? I need a hand setting things up.”

You nod, grateful for the distraction from Sunghoon. “Of course. I’ll be there.”

“Great!” She beams. “And maybe you can help me make sure everything stays under control. You know how things can get with this crowd.”

Heeseung laughs softly. “Good luck with that. I don’t think anyone’s ever managed to keep Sunoo and Niki under control for more than five minutes.”

As if on cue, Sunoo pops up beside you with a grin. “I heard that, Heeseung! I’m an angel, thank you very much.”

Niki appears at his side, raising an eyebrow. “An angel of chaos, maybe.”

The group laughs, and you feel the tension in your shoulders ease. It’s moments like these that make all the bickering and drama feel worth it.

But then, just as you’re about to make another comment, Sunghoon’s voice cuts through the noise. “So, Y/N,” he says casually, “what are you going to wear to the party? Let me guess… something that screams ‘trying too hard’?”

You whip your head around, narrowing your eyes at him. “And what are you planning on wearing, Sunghoon? Something that screams ‘I own everything but a personality’?”

There’s a collective gasp from your friends, followed by a chorus of laughter. Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, feigning a look of hurt. “Ouch, that one actually stung a little. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

You cross your arms, feeling a triumphant smile tug at your lips. “I’ve got plenty more where that came from. Try me.”

He leans in slightly, lowering his voice just enough that only you can hear. “Maybe I will,” he says, his eyes flicking over you in a way that makes your pulse quicken. “But you’re going to have to do better than that if you want to get under my skin.”

You’re about to retort when a voice interrupts. “Can we get through one day without you two turning everything into a competition?” Jay sighs, looking exasperated. “Seriously, it’s exhausting just watching you.”

Jake nods in agreement, though he’s grinning. “You guys need to find a new hobby. Preferably one that doesn’t involve verbal sparring in the middle of the hallway.”

You shrug, unable to resist the urge to keep poking at Sunghoon. “I’m open to suggestions, but I doubt Sunghoon has any better ideas.”

Sunghoon leans back, crossing his arms with a playful smile. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of ideas. But I think you’d be too scared to try them.”

Before you can respond, the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. Karina groans. “Ugh, saved by the bell. I guess we’ll have to pick this up later.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

As everyone starts to disperse to their respective classes, Sunghoon gives you one last look, a challenge in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Y/N,” he says smoothly. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

You roll your eyes, but your heart is beating just a little faster. You can’t help but wonder what exactly he’s planning… and why a part of you is actually looking forward to finding out.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The day of the party arrives with a crisp, clear sky and a hint of excitement that seems to permeate every corner of the city. You wake up early, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervous energy. Karina had texted you the night before, reminding you to come over in the afternoon to help set up for the party. You agreed eagerly, knowing that any opportunity to help would give you something to focus on and take your mind off the strange tension building between you and Sunghoon.

When you arrive at Karina’s mansion, the house is buzzing with activity. Karina’s housekeeper greets you at the door with a warm smile, directing you to the large, open-plan living area where Karina is already busy coordinating the decorations with a small army of helpers. The space is being transformed into a glamorous party venue with twinkling lights, elegant table settings, and a dance floor that looks like it’s straight out of a high-end club.

Karina spots you as soon as you walk in, her face lighting up with relief and excitement. “Y/N! Perfect timing. I’m so glad you’re here. We could use an extra pair of hands.”

You smile, rolling up your sleeves. “What can I do to help?”

Karina hands you a stack of neatly folded napkins and points towards a table covered with party favors. “Start by setting these up on the tables. I want everything to look perfect tonight.”

You get to work, organizing napkins and arranging snack trays, chatting with Karina about the last-minute details. The hours fly by as you work alongside her, the room gradually coming together into a setting that is unmistakably Karina’s style—classy, sophisticated, and just a bit over the top.

As the afternoon drifts into evening, Karina claps her hands and gathers you for a brief break. “Alright, it’s time for a quick change. You’ve been working so hard, and I want you to look as fabulous as the rest of the evening.”

You raise an eyebrow, half-teasing. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

Karina waves her hand dismissively. “you don’t want me to answer that. cmon you’re hot, why not show off a little?”

Before you can protest, Karina ushers you into her bedroom and pulls out a sleek, little black dress from her closet. The dress is short and simple with a cut that accentuates your figure without being too revealing.

“Put this on,” Karina insists, handing you the dress. “Trust me, you’ll look amazing. And don’t worry about the hair and makeup; I’ve got that covered too.”

You change quickly, admiring the way the dress fits and the way it makes you feel more confident and glamorous. When you step out of the room, Karina is waiting with a professional-looking makeup kit and a few hair tools.

As she works on your hair and makeup, she chatters away, filling the room with her usual upbeat energy. “you look sexy”

You smile at her reflection in the mirror. “Thanks, Karina. You don’t think it’s a bit much? It’s definitely more out there than I usually go for”.

Karina beams, finishing up with a final touch of lipstick. “babe there’s no such thing as too much. And who knows, maybe you’ll catch someone eye tonight,” she tells you with a wink.

With a laugh and a final look at yourself in the mirror, you feel a surge of excitement. The dress feels perfect, and the makeup and hair make you look polished and ready for the night. As you head back downstairs, you catch sight of Karina’s smile of approval, and you can’t help but feel a bit more confident about the evening ahead.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The music starts pumping through the walls as you and Karina make your way back downstairs. The final touches have been set, and the room looks like a scene straight out of a teen movie: fairy lights strung up in every corner, a couple of disco balls catching the light just right, and a dance floor that practically begs people to let loose. Karina surveys everything with a grin that stretches from ear to ear.

“See?” she says, nudging you with her elbow. “This is why I always go all out.”

You chuckle, glancing around. “Okay, okay, you were right. This does look kind of amazing.”

The doorbell rings, and Karina practically bounces on her toes. “That must be the first guests! Come on, we have to greet everyone in style.”

The two of you rush to the front door, and soon enough, your friends start streaming in. Sunoo is the first to arrive, with Niki and Jungwon right behind him. They all look ready to have the best night ever, and Sunoo immediately zeroes in on you, his eyes going wide.

“Oh. My. God. Y/N!” Sunoo exclaims dramatically, clutching his chest. “Look at you in that little black dress! Who is she?!”

You roll your eyes, fighting back a grin. “Alright, Sunoo, calm down. It’s just a dress.”

“It’s not just a dress,” Niki interjects with a grin. “It’s the dress. Who are you trying to impress tonight?”

Jungwon nudges Niki. “Yeah, spill. Is there someone you’re hoping to catch the eye of?”

You smirk, crossing your arms. “Oh, please, like I’d tell you guys even if there was.”

More of your friends arrive, and soon the room is buzzing with chatter and laughter. Jake and Jay show up not long after, both of them effortlessly cool as always. Jay immediately gets to work DJ-ing from his phone, while Jake heads to the makeshift bar, already concocting a round of mixed drinks.

Then, just as you start to relax, you see him—Park Sunghoon. He steps in, looking annoyingly good in a casual black button-down and jeans. His eyes scan the room until they find you. For a split second, he looks almost surprised, but then his trademark smirk appears.

“Well, well,” Sunghoon says as he strolls over to you, hands casually shoved into his pockets. “Look who decided to play dress-up. You got a hot date tonight or something?”

You scoff, giving him a look. “Oh, please, Sunghoon. Unlike you, I don’t have to try so hard to impress everyone.”

Sunghoon chuckles, leaning in just slightly. “Right. Because you just show up looking like that for fun?”

Before you can shoot back a retort, Karina swoops in, looping her arm through yours. “Hey, Sunghoon, quit being a troll. Y/N looks amazing, and you know it. Now go get a drink and try to be nice for once!”

He holds up his hands, his grin widening. “Alright, alright, I’ll behave... for now.”

You watch as he saunters off to join Jake at the bar, and Karina gives you a knowing look. “Don’t let him get under your skin tonight, okay?”

You nod, trying to brush it off, even though you’re still buzzing from his teasing. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The party is in full swing now—music thumping, people laughing, and the lights twinkling overhead like stars. You find yourself swept up in the fun, moving from one conversation to the next, the earlier tension with Sunghoon momentarily forgotten. You’re by the snack table, popping a few chips into your mouth when Haechan sidles up next to you with his signature grin.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says smoothly, leaning in a little closer than necessary. “Looking good tonight. That dress is seriously working for you.”

You smile at him, amused by his blatant flirting. “Thanks, Haechan. You’re not looking too bad yourself,” you reply, playing along. He’s always been a harmless flirt, and you don’t mind the attention tonight.

He grins wider, clearly pleased. “I try. But seriously, I can’t believe I’m just now noticing how stunning you are. Were you hiding this whole time or just waiting for the perfect moment to make your grand entrance?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, you know me. Always dramatic,” you joke, and he chuckles, leaning in a bit more.

“You’re full of surprises, Y/N. Makes me want to know you better,” he says, his voice dropping slightly, and you can’t help but laugh at his over-the-top delivery.

What you don’t notice is that from across the room, Sunghoon has been watching the entire interaction with a growing frown. He’s leaning against a wall, a drink in hand, his eyes narrowing as he watches Haechan lean closer to you, flashing that charming smile. His jaw tightens, and his grip on the cup becomes visibly tighter.

Heeseung, who’s been standing beside him, follows his line of sight and notices the tense look on his friend’s face. A knowing grin spreads across Heeseung’s lips as he leans over to Sunghoon, nudging him with his elbow.

“Someone looks like they’ve got their feathers ruffled,” Heeseung teases, keeping his voice low so only Sunghoon can hear.

Sunghoon scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Sure,” Heeseung laughs. “That’s why you’ve been glaring at Haechan like you’re ready to knock that grin off his face.”

Sunghoon doesn’t respond right away, but his eyes remain fixed on you and Haechan. Heeseung watches with amusement, clearly enjoying the show.

“Just admit it, man,” Heeseung continues, his tone light. “You’re jealous.”

Sunghoon finally looks away from you, giving Heeseung a dismissive look. “I’m not jealous. I just don’t like seeing him act like a fool.”

Heeseung snorts. “Right. Because you’re so worried about Haechan embarrassing himself.” He claps a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Come on, dude, just go talk to her. Or are you afraid she’ll turn you down?”

Sunghoon shoots him a glare. “Shut up, Heeseung.”

Heeseung just laughs harder, clearly unbothered by Sunghoon’s mood. “Alright, whatever you say. But just so you know, glaring at Haechan isn’t going to do anything except make you look more obvious.”

Sunghoon doesn’t answer, but Heeseung’s words seem to hit a nerve. He turns his attention back to you, his expression unreadable, though there’s still a flicker of something in his eyes—something more than just casual interest.

Meanwhile, you’re still chatting with Haechan, completely unaware of the little drama unfolding across the room. But you can’t shake the feeling that someone’s watching you, and when you finally glance up, your eyes meet Sunghoon’s for just a second. He quickly looks away, and you can’t help but wonder what that was all about.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The party continues to buzz around you, but after a while, the noise and energy start to feel a bit overwhelming. You decide you need a break, a moment to yourself away from the chaos. Without saying anything, you slip out of the crowded living room and head toward the balcony, where the air is cooler and the music is just a muffled hum in the background.

You push open the glass doors and step outside, letting the crisp night air hit your face. It’s a welcome change from the warmth inside. You lean against the railing, taking a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. The stars are faint above the city lights, and you can hear distant sounds of traffic, a reminder of the world continuing outside this little bubble of a party.

You close your eyes for a moment, just enjoying the quiet. But then, you hear the soft sound of footsteps behind you. You turn, half-expecting to see Karina or maybe Sunoo, but your heart skips a beat when you see Sunghoon stepping out onto the balcony.

“What do you want, Sunghoon?” you sigh, not bothering to hide your annoyance.

“I could ask you the same thing” he replies, his voice closer than you expected. You feel the warmth of his body behind you, jus inches away. “Running away from the party?”

”Hardly.” You glance over your shoulder at him. “Just needed a break from all the fakes and liars inside.”

His lips curl into that familiar, infuriating smirk. “And here I thought you thrived on that type of thing. Who knew Y/N had limits?”

You roll tour eyes, turning back to the view. “Yeah, well, believe it or not I do. But you wouldn’t know anything, would you?”

Sunghoon steps closer, his breath brushing against your ear, sending an unwanted shiver down your spine. You feel a rush of heat flood your cheeks and something else you refuse to acknowledge. “You don’t know anything about me, Sunghoon. And id keep it that way if I were you.”

He laughs, a deep, rich sound that makes your skin prickle. “I think you like it when I get under your skin. Why else do you always react like this?” You scoff, turning to face him, only then realizing how close he actually was. “Maybe i’m just tired of you acting like you’re gods gift to the world. newsflash: you’re not.”

His grin widens, and he takes another step closer, invading you’re space entirely as if he wasn’t already to begin with. “Admit it.” he says, his voice dropping lower. “You like our little games. You like the way I push your buttons.”

Your heart is pounding now, and you hate that he’s right, that there’s something about him that gets to you in a way no one else does.But you refuse to five him the satisfaction of knowing it. “In your dreams,” you snap, though the breathlessness in your voice betrays you.

He reaches out, his fingers brushing your arm, and you feel a jolt of heat at the contact. “Is that so?” he whispers, his lips dangerously close to yours now, his eyes dark with challenge. “Because I think you’re lying. I think you want this as much as I do.”

Your breath hitches, and for a moment, you’re frozen, caught in his gaze. The intensity in his eyes makes your pulse race, a mix of anger and undeniable attraction. He’s so close now that you can feel his breath your lips, and before you can stop yourself, you grab his shirt, pulling him the last few inches towards you.

“Maybe I just want to shut you up,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper. “Then do it,” he taunts, his lips brushing against yours, almost but not quite a kiss. It’s all the encouragement you need. You close the distance, your mouth crashing against his. His hands grip your waist, pulling you closer, and you press against him, fueled by a mix of anger and desire.

The kiss is intense, a battle of wills as much as it is anything else. His lips are firm, demanding, and you meet him with equal force, neither of you willing to give an inch. Your hands move up to his hair, tugging slightly and he groans against your mouth, deepening the kiss.

You’re lost in it. Lost in him, every nerve in your body alight with sensation. His hands slide up your back, his touch sending sparks through you, and you hate how much you crave it, hate how much you want him despite everything.

You’re breathless when you finally pull back, your heart hammering against your ribs. Sunghoon’s lips are parted, his breaths coming in ragged, and his eyes are dark with something dangerous—something you know you shouldn’t be entertaining.

His hand is still on your waist, his thumb brushing the exposed skin just beneath the hem of your shirt, and you swear every nerve in your body is on fire. He leans in close, his lips grazing your ear, and his voice comes out in a low, almost pleading murmur. “Come back to my place.”

It isn’t a question, but there’s something in his tone that sends a shiver down your spine, a combination of hunger and desperation that mirrors what’s coursing through your veins. For a moment, you’re tempted—so, so tempted to just say yes and give in to whatever this is. But logic fights its way to the surface, and you pull back just enough to meet his gaze.

“Are you serious?” you ask, your voice wavering more than you’d like.

His expression doesn’t falter, his eyes locked onto yours. “Dead serious.” He swallows, his grip on your waist tightening, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “I don’t want this to end here.”

You hesitate, your mind racing. This is Sunghoon—Park Sunghoon—the guy you’ve spent so long arguing with, glaring at across rooms, doing everything in your power to avoid. But there’s something different about the way he’s looking at you now, something raw and real that makes it hard to think clearly.

“I don’t know,” you say, trying to sound firm, though your resolve is crumbling by the second. “I mean… this is crazy.”

“Maybe,” he agrees, his voice still low, still laced with that edge of desperation. “But I think you like crazy.” His lips curl into a half-smile, that familiar cockiness tempered with something else, something softer.

You bite your lip, weighing your options, feeling the tension between you both—hot, magnetic, impossible to ignore. “This is a bad idea,” you whisper, though even you can hear the lack of conviction in your words.

Sunghoon steps closer, closing the distance again, his forehead almost touching yours. “Probably the worst,” he says, his breath hot against your skin. “But if you don’t say yes, I’m going to lose my mind.”

You can feel his heartbeat through his shirt, can feel how fast it’s racing, and you know he means it. Part of you is screaming to walk away, to leave now before you make a mistake, but there’s another part—a louder, more reckless part—that’s screaming for you to stay, to see where this goes.

“Just one night,” he murmurs, his lips brushing yours again, barely a kiss, just enough to make you shiver. “No strings, no expectations. Just… us.”

You close your eyes, fighting against every instinct telling you to run. But when you open them again, his gaze is still locked onto yours, and you can’t deny the heat pooling in your stomach, the way your skin tingles with every touch.

“Fine,” you breathe, barely louder than a whisper. “One night.”

His grin is immediate, but there’s relief in it too, and he closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours again, this time harder, more insistent. “Let’s get out of here,” he says against your mouth, his hand sliding to intertwine with yours, and you know there’s no going back now.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You manage to sneak past your friends to leave Karina’s mansion, the partygoers and scattered distractions making it all that more simple.

The drive is quiet, both of you caught in your own thoughts. The city passes by in a blur of neon signs and headlights, the streets quieter than they were earlier. You steal a glance at him, watching the way his jaw clenches, the way his fingers tap against the wheel like he’s counting down the seconds.

Sunghoon pulls up to his mansion, its sprawling, modern architecture framed by towering trees and high walls that ensure absolute privacy. The wide driveway curves up to the grand entrance, where soft lights cast a warm glow over the marble steps and tall double doors. You glance around, taking in the sheer size of the place—not because it surprises you, but because you’ve never been here before.

Your own family’s estate is nothing to scoff at, but there’s a distinct style to his home—something sleek and almost understated, despite its size. You tilt your head slightly, noticing the details: the way the garden is meticulously maintained, the sharp lines of the building softened by the greenery that surrounds it. It’s impressive, in a way that’s different from what you’re used to.

He takes your hand to lead you inside, you follow him down the dimly lit corridor, decorated with family pictures and modern art that costs a fortune. He pauses at his bedroom door, his hand still holding yours, and turns to look at you one more time. “Last chance to change your mind,” he murmurs, though his thumb strokes the back of your hand, a comforting gesture.

You take a deep breath, then shake your head. “I’m not changing my mind.”

A small smile tugs at his lips. “Good,” he whispers, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

You step inside, and he follows, closing the door behind you. The space is dimly lit, warm, and there’s an unexpected coziness to it—minimalistic but comfortable. The air feels thick with everything unspoken between you.

Sunghoon turns to you, his gaze intense, and he steps closer, his hand moving up to your face, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve been thinking about this all night,” he admits quietly, his voice almost a growl.

Your breath catches, and you feel the heat rush to your face. “Then stop talking,” you murmur, your own voice breathless.

His lips are on yours in an instant, capturing your mouth in a kiss that’s all-consuming, filled with all the tension, the want, the frustration that’s been building for so long. You kiss him back just as fiercely, hands sliding up his chest, feeling his heartbeat pounding beneath your palms.

Sunghoon's hands roamed over your body, squeezing your tits. You let out a small involuntary moan, a grunt leaving him immediately after. His lips move down to your next, trailing up and down before reaching that sweet spot right behind your ear.

It all feels to fucking good, your panties sticking to your core. He moves to sit on the edge of his bed, pulling you into his lap before catching your lips once again. His growing hardness is poking at you. “You look so fucking sexy in this little dress,” He tells you in a low tone that makes you clench around nothing, the ache between your legs growing. You start grinding on him, his hands grabbing your ass, encouraging you to keep grinding against his clothed length. “That’s it baby, grind on me, keep rubbing that pretty pussy over my cock.”

Your head is thrown back, lip in between your teeth, his words encouraging your quickening movements. “Need you so bad, Hoon,” you manage to get out.

“Yeah baby? tell me what you need.” He tells you. It’s almost embarrassing how much you wanted him. “Need your cock.” Without another word you feel his hands back on your ass, lifting you up and throwing you down on his bed. He looks up at you with mischievious eyes, hovering over you as his hands roam down the sides of your thighs to them hem of your dress. “Can i take this off?” he asks, caressing the soft, exposed skin there.

Eagerly, you nod quickly, reaching for the hem to help him pull it up and over your head. Luckily you opted for a pair of black lacy panties and opposed to your more comfortable ones. He audibly sighs and your exposed figure, “You’re so beautiful,” He tells you, his fingers working to slide your panties down your legs and tossing them to the side, revealing just how much you wanted him.

“Shit baby you’re so wet.” He leans down, placing soft, wet kisses just below your navel, dangerously close to where you wanted him most. “Hoon please,” you murmur out. He straightens out, unbuckling his belt to pull down his pants and boxers all in one go. While he wasn’t remarkably long, he made up for it in girth. You lick your lips at the sight, anticipation and heat pooling.

He pumps himself a couple times before he’s lining himself up with your entrance. He takes his time, making sure to smear your slick between your clit and his length. You feel his tip parting your folds, your breath hitching in your throat. “You ready?” his eyes meet yours for assurance. No words come out your mouth, all you do is nod.

He enters you carefully, a strong contrast from his words earlier in the night. The last thing he wants is to rush, just because of how unpatient and horny he is. You close your eyes, holding in the gasp that threatens to escape your lips. “Relax baby, I got you.”

“I know,” you breathe out. The sudden stretch has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. The burn quickly turning into a delicious one. “That’s it,” he praises you continuing to slide in until he’s nestled completely between your walls. “You take me so well,” he grunts, his length twitching inside of you.

“Fuck me, Hoon” you murmur, your walls clench around him, throwing his head back at the feeling. Before you know it he’s pulling out of you, only to smack his hips back against yours. It knocks all the oxygen out your lungs, leaving you breathless as he repeats the same action over and over again. “Fuck,” you breathe out, focusing on how good he looks above you.

You’re in a complete feeling of euphoria. Sunghoon’s skills topping those of the few guys you’ve slept with before. In that moment, all the bickering and years of back and forth leave your mind completely. The only thing closing your mind is how good him of all people is making you feel.

“Hoon… faster,” you let out, his hips snapping in a faster pace on command. Your back arches off the bed, hands grasping the sheets in small fists. He notices and reaches for them to thread his fingers through yours, pinning them above your head. “You like that baby? love how good you feel… fuck you’re so tight. Gonna make you cum so hard.”

“I’m so c-close, fuck,” you breathe out. His thrusts become messier and you know he’s close. “Cum on my cock pretty,” he grunts, hands letting go of yours to grip your hips. Clenching around him, it takes a few for pumps before you’re both coming undone. His cock twitching inside you as he fucks his cum into you.

He drops his sweaty forehead against your shoulder, quick, deep breaths meeting your skin and he comes down from his high. It takes you both a while before your breathing steadys. “You good?,” he asks you, settling on the bed beside you. “mhm,” is all you say in response, unsure as to where this leaves your relationship. It all felt to good to ignore. “Are you good?” you ask him after a moment of silence. “Better than I have in a long time.”

You’re not sure when you fall asleep. The exhaustion taking over you all at once.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The morning light filters softly through the heavy curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. You wake to the sound of birds chirping outside, their songs a peaceful contrast to the intensity of the night before. The bed is warm, and you’re nestled comfortably under the covers, Sunghoon’s arm draped over you.

You shift slightly, the movement causing Sunghoon to stir beside you. He mumbles something incoherent, tightening his hold on you before settling back into a deeper sleep. You take a moment to just lie there, letting yourself absorb the strange, surreal comfort of the situation. There’s an odd serenity in the room, a calm that feels almost unreal given the whirlwind of emotions that led you here.

As you slowly become more aware, you gently untangle yourself from his embrace, careful not to wake him. You sit up and stretch, glancing around at the elegant room that’s now your temporary sanctuary. The soft morning light highlights the sleek lines and modern decor, giving the space an almost ethereal quality.

You slide out of bed and make your way to the bathroom, feeling a little self-conscious but determined to gather yourself. You glance at yourself in the mirror, trying to process the whirlwind of the past night. The evidence of sleep lingers in your eyes, and you smooth your hair, mentally preparing yourself for whatever comes next.

When you return to the bedroom, Sunghoon is still asleep, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. You take a moment to just watch him, the vulnerability in his expression softened by sleep. There’s a part of you that feels a pang of something—softness, maybe even affection—though you’re still trying to fully understand what it all means.

Deciding not to linger too long, you quietly gather your things and start to get dressed. You’re pulling on your clothes when you hear a rustling behind you. You turn to find Sunghoon blinking awake, his gaze immediately locking on you with a sleepy, yet intense look.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sleep.

You smile softly, trying to keep things light despite the previous night's intensity. “Morning. I didn’t want to wake you.”

He stretches lazily, a smirk forming on his lips. “And here I was thinking you’d sneak out before I even woke up. Not very considerate of you, you know.”

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize I was supposed to tiptoe around your mansion.”

He chuckles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Yeah, well, you should be lucky you’re not being kicked out for your unexpected visit.”

You roll your eyes, pulling on your shirt. “Oh, please. It’s not like I forced my way in. You made it pretty clear you wanted me here.”

His smirk widens. “True. And now I’m faced with the charming aftermath of our little escapade. How do you intend to handle that?”

You shrug, trying to keep your tone casual. “I think we both know this doesn’t exactly change things. We still don’t like each other. This was… a one-off.”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “A one-off? That’s what we’re calling it now? What happened to all that intense ‘hate’ from last night?”

You narrow your eyes at him, feeling a bit defensive. “It’s complicated. We both know that. I’m just here to sort myself out.”

He stands up, stretching with a yawn. “Well, I suppose if you’re done with the morning-after drama, I should at least make you breakfast.”

You look at him skeptically. “Breakfast? You’re really pulling out the stops now?”

He gives you a mockingly hurt look. “Don’t sound so surprised. Even enemies deserve to be fed after a night like that.”

You smirk, shaking your head. “Fine. Breakfast it is. But don’t think this means I’m sticking around for a whole lot of chit-chat.”

He grins, clearly pleased with your response. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Just a quick meal and then you can be on your way.”

As he leads you to the kitchen, you both fall into a familiar rhythm, trading barbs and jabs that feel almost comfortable in their own way. The awkwardness of the night before is still there, but it’s tempered by the humor and banter that defines your relationship.

In the kitchen, Sunghoon starts pulling out ingredients, his movements confident and efficient. You watch him, feeling a strange mix of irritation and appreciation. Despite everything, there’s something almost endearing about the way he’s trying to play the gracious host.

“So, what’s the plan after breakfast?” you ask, grabbing a coffee cup and filling it. “Are we going to pretend like nothing happened, or do you have some other grand gesture in mind?”

He looks over at you with a smirk. “Maybe I’ll just enjoy the novelty of seeing you eat my food. Consider it a small victory.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s a genuine smile on your lips. “Enjoy it while it lasts. I’m not here for long.”

He chuckles, placing a plate of food in front of you. “Don’t worry, I won’t be offended if you leave right after. I’m sure we’ll find new ways to annoy each other soon enough.”

You take a bite of the breakfast, shaking your head in mock exasperation. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As you eat, the tension from the night before begins to ease, replaced by the familiar dynamic of your interactions. It’s not exactly comfortable, but it’s familiar—a small reminder that despite everything, some things never really change.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The bell rings, signaling the end of the period, you gather your things and stand up, eager to leave the classroom and escape the strange tension that’s been hanging between you and Sunghoon all day. You’re heading toward the door when you feel a light tap on your shoulder. You turn around to find Sunghoon standing close, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Can I help you?” you ask, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Sunghoon leans in, his face just inches from yours. His breath is warm against your ear, and you can feel his proximity even though you try to back away slightly. “You look cute today,” he whispers, his voice low and deliberately teasing.

You freeze for a moment, your heart skipping a beat as his words sink in. You’re taken aback by the unexpected comment, feeling a rush of irritation mixed with something you can’t quite define. You quickly compose yourself, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Seriously?” you hiss, trying to keep your voice low so that no one else hears. “Now you’re trying to play nice? How pathetic.”

Sunghoon pulls back slightly, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I’m just making an observation,” he says innocently, though the amusement in his eyes betrays him.

You roll your eyes, your frustration evident. “Yeah, well, save it for someone who actually cares. I’m not in the mood for your games.”

As you turn and walk toward the door, you hear Sunghoon’s laughter behind you, light and mocking. You try to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks as you make your way out of the classroom, determined not to let him get under your skin. Despite your efforts to stay composed, his words linger in your mind, adding to the awkwardness and confusion of the day.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Lunch at school is a lively affair, with the cafeteria buzzing with the chatter of students and the clatter of trays. You and your friends—Yuna, Karina, and the rest—settle into your usual spot at the table. Sunghoon and his group are seated across from you, and you can feel his gaze lingering on you, even as you try to focus on the conversation with your friends.

Karina is mid-sentence, animatedly discussing the latest school gossip when Sunghoon's voice cuts through. “Oh, come on, Y/N. You can't actually believe that nonsense.”

You glance up, catching Sunghoon’s eyes. He’s smirking, clearly enjoying the opportunity to poke at you. “And what’s so ridiculous about it?” you retort, trying to keep your voice steady despite the irritation brewing inside you.

“Seriously?” Sunghoon’s grin widens. “It’s just a bunch of exaggerated stories. You’ve always had a knack for falling for that kind of thing.”

You roll your eyes, feeling a familiar annoyance bubbling up. “Says the guy who’s always spouting off about how everything’s ‘not worth his time.’”

Sunghoon leans back in his chair, folding his arms. “At least I don’t get caught up in every little bit of drama that comes my way.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “I’m not the one who spends half his day looking for ways to pick fights. Maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with making everything a competition, you’d see things more clearly.”

Yuna and Karina exchange glances, trying to stifle their laughter as the two of you go back and forth. Karina nudges you playfully. “Looks like you two are back to your old routine.”

You shoot her a sidelong glance, annoyed but unable to hide a small smile. “Oh, you have no idea.”

Meanwhile, Sunghoon’s eyes are fixed on you, his smirk never fading. Every time you catch him looking, you feel a mix of frustration and unease. His gaze is unrelenting, and despite your best efforts to ignore it, you can’t help but feel self-conscious.

“What are you staring at?” you snap, catching him in the act.

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, his expression innocent. “Just observing. Is that a problem?”

You narrow your eyes, crossing your arms. “Maybe if you had something better to do than harass me, you wouldn’t have to be so nosy.”

He chuckles, leaning forward with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Maybe I just enjoy watching you get all riled up. It’s entertaining.”

You glare at him, feeling your irritation spike. “Yeah, well, it’s not exactly a compliment.”

Sunghoon shrugs, still smirking. “Suit yourself.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

After lunch, you head to your next class with a sense of relief, hoping to escape the tension of the cafeteria. As you settle into your seat, the classroom buzzes with the usual pre-class chatter. You glance around, hoping to avoid any more interactions with Sunghoon, but he’s in the same class, sitting a few rows behind you.

The teacher arrives, and the room quiets down as the lesson begins. You try to focus on the lecture, but the lingering effects of the lunchtime bickering keep your thoughts scattered. Every now and then, you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes on you, though you avoid turning around to confirm it.

Halfway through the class, you feel a small piece of paper land softly on your desk. You glance down to find a note with neat handwriting:

*“Can we at least pretend to be civil? I promise I’m not plotting your demise.”*

You roll your eyes, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. You scribble a quick reply:

“Why start now? It’s more fun to keep you on your toes.”

You fold the note and toss it back over your shoulder, hoping it will reach him without drawing too much attention. A few moments later, you see Sunghoon’s hand reach forward to grab it, his expression unreadable.

The rest of the class proceeds in a blur of lectures and notes. The occasional glances you and Sunghoon exchange are filled with unspoken tension, but you both manage to keep your interactions to a minimum.

At the end of your lecture, you pack up your things and make your way out of the classroom. You’re heading down the hall when you hear Sunghoon’s voice behind you.

“Hey, wait up.”

You stop, turning to see him catching up with you. He’s wearing a casual expression, though there’s a hint of seriousness in his eyes.

“Seriously? What now?” you ask, trying to keep your tone even.

Sunghoon’s gaze lingers on you, and he seems to consider his next words carefully. “So, I was thinking… why don’t you come over to my place later?”

You raise an eyebrow, puzzled. “For what? We already had our… whatever that was.”

Sunghoon gives you a knowing look, his smirk widening. “Come on, you know you’re curious. Besides, you know you want me.”

You feel a rush of heat at his words, and you try to maintain your composure. “And what happened to it being a one-night thing? Are you trying to make this a regular thing now?”

Sunghoon’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Maybe I am. Or maybe I just want to spend more time with you. Either way, I think you’re interested.”

You hesitate, feeling the pull of his words. The desire that was ignited the night before is still burning strong, and you find yourself tempted despite your better judgment.

With a sigh, you give in, unable to resist the allure of what he’s offering. “Alright, fine. I’ll come over. But just to see what you have in mind.” Sunghoon’s smile broadens, clearly pleased with your decision. “Great. see you later.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Later that night, you stand outside Sunghoon’s, house, or rather mansion. With a deep breath, you ring the doorbelll, and a moment later, Sunghoon opens the door. His eyes rake over you, and there’s that cocky familiar smirk on his face. “Youre here,” he says, stepping aside to let you in. There’s no hint of surprise, just a kind of smug statisfaction, like he knew you’d come.

“Yeah,” you reply, stepping inside “so what’s this all about?” Sunghoon doesn’t answer immediately. He just walks past you, heading into the foyer. You follow, your curiosity piqued, but you don’t miss the way his eyes flicker back to you with that same intent look. He turns around suddenly, before you can even process what’s happening, he’s closing the distance between you, leaning in like he’s about to kiss you.

“Woah wait,” you say quickly, pressing a hand against him firm chest to stop him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Sunghoon pauses, eyebrows raised, but there’s no real apology in his expression. “What do you think in doing?” he counters, his voice low, almost daring him to challenge you. You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the way your heart is racing. “I didn’t come here just to… you know.”

He smirks, leaning in just enough that you feel the warmth of his breath. “Then why did you come here?”

You hesitate, caught between wanting to play it cool and the undeniable pull you feel toward him. “Maybe I was curious.” Sunghoon chuckles, “You’re here because you want this, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his hand grazing your hip lightly, testing your boundaries.

You swallow hard, trying to keep your composure. “You think you know everything, don’t you?”

His smirk widens. “I know enough.” He leans in again, and this time, his lips brush against your neck, a bold move that sends a jolt of heat through you. You bite your lip, figuring the urge to melt into his touch. “I didn’t say you could—“

“Then stop me,” he challenges, his voice a whisper against your skin. Your mind races every logical thought battling against the desire that’s been simmering between you since the other night. You hate how easily he gets under your skin, how is arrogance is both infuriating and strangely alluring. But instead of pushing him away, you find yourself lingering, testing the r limits just like he is.

“You’re infuriating,” you mutter, half annoyed, half breathless. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eye, his expression smug but hungry. “Yet I don’t see you walking away.”

You hate that he’s right. Instead of anything else, you meet his gaze head on, feeling that dangerous spark between you flicker into something more. “Just shut up and kiss me,” you say, finally giving in, if only to wipe that smug look off his face. And he does—without hesitation, with the kind of intensity that makes your head spin. It’s heated, unrestrained, and nothing like you imagined, and yet somehow it’s exactly what you wanted.

With a frustrated sigh, you put a hand on his chest and push him back a step. “Okay, seriously, what is this?” you demand, trying to keep your tone steady. “We can’t just keep… doing this whenever we feel like it. It’s stupid.”

He raises an eyebrow, looking way too amused for your liking. “Why not? You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

You shoot him a glare. “Don’t flatter yourself. I just… I don’t want this to get messy.”

He smirks, clearly entertained by your struggle. “Messy? You mean you don’t want people to know you like kissing me?”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “I don’t like anything about you, Sunghoon. But if we’re being honest, there’s… something here, and I don’t see it going away anytime soon.”

His grin widens, and you want to slap it right off his face. “So, what? You’re proposing a deal?”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe. Friends with benefits. No strings attached, no drama, no catching feelings.”

Sunghoon chuckles, but there’s an edge to it. “Friends? I don’t think we’re even close to that.”

“Fine,” you snap, annoyed that he’s right. “Enemies with benefits then. Just… an arrangement. To get this out of our systems.”

His gaze darkens, and for a second, you think you see something flicker there, something unreadable. But then he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear. “And what makes you think I’d agree to that?”

You raise your chin, meeting his challenge head-on. “Because you want this just as much as I do. Maybe more.”

He pauses, his lips curling into a slow, wicked smile. “Okay, I’ll bite,” he says, his voice low. “But here’s the deal: we do this my way. No whining, no complaining, and you definitely don’t get to pretend you don’t want it.”

You scowl, hating how cocky he looks, how certain he is that you’ll cave. “Fine,” you bite back. “But don’t think for a second that this means I like you.”

He laughs, the sound rich and mocking. “Trust me, I’d hate it if you did.”

You feel your blood boil at his arrogance, but there’s a thrill in it too, in the way you both seem to enjoy this game. “Deal,” you snap, holding out your hand.

He takes it, but instead of shaking, he pulls you in closer, his lips just inches from yours. “Just remember,” he murmurs, his eyes locked on yours, “this doesn’t change anything. I still can’t stand you.”

You smirk, matching his intensity. “Right back at you.”

And before you know it, his lips are crashing against yours again, and all that frustration and anger blurs into something reckless and wild. For now, you’ll play his game, but you know this is far from over.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Over the next few weeks, the “arrangement” with Sunghoon becomes a twisted game of secrecy and tension. You find yourself sneaking glances in class, meeting him in darkened hallways between periods, and exchanging heated looks across crowded lunch tables. The two of you are constantly dancing on the edge of discovery, and it’s becoming harder to hide the intensity simmering between you.

It starts small. The accidental brush of fingers when passing by in the hallway, the way his eyes linger a little too long when you’re speaking. But then, it escalates. The stolen moments between classes turn into late-night texts and spontaneous meetings wherever you can find some privacy. Empty classrooms, deserted stairwells, even the back of the library—places where no one would think to find the two of you together. The more time passes, the harder it gets to keep up the charade.

You’re starting to notice the way his friends glance between you two, confused by the sudden silences or the shared looks you forget to hide. Jay catches you one morning when you’re walking out of the library with Sunghoon following a few steps behind, your hair slightly mussed, your lips redder than usual.

“What’s going on there?” he asks, a teasing grin spreading across his face. “You and Sunghoon plotting world domination or something?”

You laugh it off, rolling your eyes. “Please. He’s too much of an idiot for that.”

But Jay looks unconvinced, his gaze flicking back to where Sunghoon is standing, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching you with a smirk that’s all too knowing. “Sure,” Jay says, dragging out the word like he’s not buying it.

At lunch, it’s even worse. Sunghoon sits across from you, his foot nudging yours under the table. It’s subtle, but it’s enough to send a jolt up your spine. You kick him back, hard, and he just chuckles, leaning back in his chair like he’s thoroughly enjoying the game.

“What are you two whispering about?” Yuna asks, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. You’re both quick to cover it up, but it’s obvious that your friends are starting to catch on.

“Nothing,” Sunghoon says smoothly, his voice annoyingly casual. “Just telling Y/N that she looks like she needs more sleep. Those dark circles are really showing.”

Your jaw clenches, but you force a sweet smile, playing along. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll sleep just fine once I stop seeing your face every day.”

He grins, but there’s a flicker of something more heated in his eyes, something you recognize all too well. “Yeah, right.”

Karina frowns, sensing the tension that seems to hang in the air whenever you two are in the same room. “Seriously, what is up with you guys?” she asks, tilting her head.

You wave it off, laughing a little too loudly. “We’re just being our usual selves. You know how it is—can’t stand each other.”

But your friends are starting to notice the little things. The way Sunghoon’s gaze always seems to drift in your direction, the way you keep sneaking out of group study sessions with flimsy excuses, only to return looking flustered and breathless. Sunoo even catches you and Sunghoon exchanging hushed words in the corner of the hallway, too close for comfort, and he raises an eyebrow, a mischievous grin forming on his lips.

“Are you two planning a secret mission, or is there something else we should know?” he asks, his tone playful but probing.

Sunghoon just shrugs, but you can feel his eyes on you, daring you to say something. “No mission,” he replies coolly, “unless it’s trying to survive Y/N’s terrible attitude.”

You force a laugh, but the heat in your cheeks gives you away. “Yeah, well, some of us have better things to do than deal with you, Sunghoon.”

But it’s getting harder to pretend, harder to keep the fire between you from spilling over in front of everyone else. Every time he’s near, it feels like the world narrows down to just the two of you, a constant push and pull that’s impossible to ignore. The stolen kisses, the midnight texts, the moments of heated bickering that seem to blur into something more—it’s becoming too much to hide.

And it’s only a matter of time before someone figures it out.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You grip the sheets of your bed, lip caught between your teeth as sunghoon is under your duvet, tonguing your wet entrance, heat pooling in your belly, felling the intensity of your orgasm creeping up on you.

It’s all cut short when your door bursts open without warning, and Karina barges in, her voice already raised. “Y/N, I swear I’m going to lose my mind—!”

You freeze, your heart stopping in your chest. “Karina!” you squeak, quickly yanking the sheets up to your chin. “What happened to knocking?”

Karina stops mid-rant, blinking at you. “Oh, come on, like I ever knock?” she scoffs, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Anyway, you will not believe what Heeseung just did—”

She’s moving closer to the bed, and you panic, shifting slightly to keep Sunghoon hidden beneath the covers. You can feel him tense up, and his hand slips to your thigh under the sheets, pinching you playfully. You bite your lip to stifle a gasp, kneeing him as a warning.

Karina continues her rant, oblivious. “I mean, he had the nerve to ditch me for practice again, and I’m just—ugh, I needed to vent to someone who understands!”

Your mind races, desperately trying to keep her attention away from the suspicious lump between your legs. “That sounds… really frustrating,” you say, a bit too brightly. “But maybe just, you know, talk to him?”

Karina flops down on the edge of your bed, dangerously close to Sunghoon’s concealed figure. “Oh, I’ll talk to him, alright. I’m just so sick of his stupid excuses—”

Sunghoon’s fingers press into your clit under the sheets. He’s grinning, enjoying the situation far too much. You jab him again, your heart racing.

Karina glances at you, finally noticing your tense posture. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird,” she says, her brows furrowing.

You force a laugh, your voice too high. “I’m fine! Just… woke up. Didn’t expect you to burst in like that.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Since when do you care if I burst in? And why are you so… red?”

You feel the heat creeping up your neck. “Uh, just… hot in here,” you stammer, shifting to keep Sunghoon completely out of sight.

Karina looks like she’s about to press further, but then she sighs, clearly more focused on her Heeseung drama. “Whatever, I just needed to get that off my chest. He drives me insane!”

You nod quickly. “Yeah, I get it. He’s… Heeseung, you know?” Karina gives you a small smile, her frustration easing. “Thanks for listening. And seriously, you look so weird right now.”

You laugh nervously. “Yeah, just tired.”

Finally, she stands up, heading toward the door. “Alright, I’ll leave you to… whatever you were doing. I’m gonna go call him and give him a piece of my mind.”

You nod eagerly. “Good luck with that!”

As soon as she leaves, you exhale in relief, lifting the cover to eye Sunghoon, who’s still grinning like an idiot. “What?” he whispers, amused.

“What?” you repeat, incredulous. “You almost got us caught, that’s what!”

He chuckles, pulling you back down under the sheets. “Relax. She didn’t notice a thing.”

You roll your eyes, but your heart is still racing from the close call. “You’re lucky,” you mutter.

Sunghoon just leans in closer, his lips brushing your cheek. “You love the thrill,” he murmurs.

And damn it, you hate that he’s right.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

It's late, the night air cool against your skin as you lean against the wall outside the school building, waiting for Sunghoon. You don't even know why you agreed to meet him here. Maybe because he seemed so insistent, or maybe because a part of you wanted to see him, even though you’d never admit it.

He arrives moments later, his footsteps heavy as he approaches. There’s a different energy about him tonight—something serious, something intense. His usual smirk is nowhere to be found, and his hands are shoved deep into his pockets. He stops in front of you, a little too close, and you have to tilt your head up to meet his eyes.

“What’s this about?” you ask, trying to sound casual, though your heart is pounding in your chest.

He doesn’t answer right away, his gaze boring into yours like he’s searching for something, something he can’t quite find. You shift on your feet, uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

“Sunghoon?” you prompt, your voice wavering just slightly.

He finally speaks, his tone lower than usual. “I’ve been thinking… about us,” he says, the words almost hesitant, like he’s testing them out.

You blink, caught off guard. “Us?”

He nods, his expression serious. “Yeah, Y/N, us. You and me… whatever this is.”

You swallow hard, trying to keep your face neutral. “I thought we agreed it’s nothing,” you reply, but your voice comes out softer than you intended.

Sunghoon’s eyes narrow, frustration flashing in his gaze. “Yeah, that’s what we said,” he agrees, “but it doesn’t feel like nothing to me anymore.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you feel a lump forming in your throat. You’ve never seen him like this—so open, so exposed. “Sunghoon, I don’t know what you’re getting at,” you say carefully.

He takes a step closer, his expression more intense. “I’m saying that I’ve caught myself… thinking about you. A lot. When you’re not around, I’m wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with. I hate that it bothers me when I see you talking to other guys, and I can’t stand the idea of you being with anyone else.”

You feel a wave of panic rising in your chest. This is too much, too fast. You press your back harder against the wall as if trying to create more distance between you. “Sunghoon, this was never supposed to be serious,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. “I know, and I tried to keep it that way. But every time I see you, every time we’re together… I can’t help it. I don’t want to help it.”

You shake your head, refusing to let his words sink in. “You don’t mean that,” you insist, more to yourself than to him. “You’re just saying this because it’s… new or whatever. It’ll pass.”

Sunghoon’s jaw clenches, and he moves even closer, leaving barely any space between you. “No, Y/N, it won’t. I’ve tried to stop feeling this way, but I can’t. And I know you feel something too, even if you won’t admit it.”

Your pulse quickens, and you feel your resolve starting to crumble. “I don’t—” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“Stop lying,” he says firmly, his voice carrying a hint of desperation. “You’re scared, I get it. But don’t pretend like this is all just a game to you.”

You feel a flash of anger, your defenses rising. “What if it is, Sunghoon? What if I don’t want anything more than what we already have?”

His expression falters for a moment, a flicker of hurt crossing his face. “Then I guess I’ve made a mistake,” he murmurs, taking a step back.

You feel a pang in your chest, a sharp, unexpected ache. “Sunghoon…”

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

For a second, you want to reach out, to say something, anything, to make that look on his face go away. But the fear of letting your guard down, of admitting that he might be right, keeps you silent.

He takes another step back, his expression hardening. “I won’t bother you about it again,” he says, his voice cold. “Let’s just go back to pretending like none of this ever happened.”

You nod, though you feel a tightness in your throat. “Yeah, let’s do that,” you say quietly, even though your chest aches with a feeling you don’t want to name.

Sunghoon turns and walks away, and you’re left standing there, the cool night air biting at your skin. You watch him go, feeling something inside you break just a little, and you wonder if maybe you’ve made a mistake too.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The next morning at school, everything feels heavier. The halls are crowded, but it’s like there’s a spotlight following you, and you can’t shake the feeling that everyone knows. You make your way to your locker, avoiding eye contact with anyone, especially Sunghoon.

You don’t see him at first, but you feel him—his presence looming in the periphery. It’s like he’s everywhere, watching you, and it makes your skin prickle with nerves. You busy yourself with rearranging your textbooks, trying to calm the storm inside your head.

“Hey, Y/N,” Karina chirps, appearing beside you. Her usual bright smile is there, but her eyes are curious, searching your face. “Are you okay? You seemed a little… off yesterday.”

You force a smile, gripping your locker door tighter than necessary. “Yeah, just tired, I guess.”

She studies you for a second longer, then nods. “Well, you should have come to dinner with us last night. It was a total mess, as always, but fun.”

You nod absently, not really listening. Your eyes flick over Karina’s shoulder and catch Sunghoon’s gaze across the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching you with an unreadable expression.

“Y/N?” Karina prompts, bringing your attention back to her. “You’re zoning out again.”

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Just a lot on my mind.”

Karina glances over her shoulder, following your line of sight. Her brow furrows slightly. “You’ve been weird around Sunghoon lately,” she remarks. “Did something happen?”

Your heart skips a beat, and you quickly shake your head. “No, nothing. Why would you think that?”

She shrugs, unconvinced. “I don’t know… Just a feeling.”

You’re saved from having to respond when the bell rings. You grab your books and make a beeline for your next class, trying to ignore the heat of Sunghoon’s stare burning into your back.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Class drags on painfully. You can’t focus. Your mind is a whirlwind of confusion and annoyance. You thought sneaking around with Sunghoon would be fun, a game—a way to blow off steam. But now it’s getting messy, and you’re starting to feel the consequences.

When the bell finally rings, you bolt out of the classroom, desperate for fresh air. But as soon as you turn the corner, you’re yanked into an empty hallway.

Sunghoon.

His grip on your arm is firm, and his eyes are intense, searching yours. “We need to talk,” he says, his voice low.

You pull your arm free, glaring at him. “What’s there to talk about, Sunghoon? We agreed this was supposed to be casual. No strings, remember?”

He frowns, clearly irritated by your tone. “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore, does it?”

You cross your arms over your chest, trying to steady your breathing. “That’s because you’re making it weird. Just… back off a little, okay?”

Sunghoon’s jaw clenches, and he takes a step closer. “Back off? You’re the one acting all paranoid, Y/N.”

“Maybe because you won’t stop staring at me like everyone else can’t see it!” you snap back, your voice rising. “This was supposed to be simple. But you’re turning it into something… complicated.”

He scoffs, a humorless smile tugging at his lips. “Maybe because it is complicated. Or have you not noticed?”

You hate the way your chest tightens at his words, the way his closeness makes your heart race. “Don’t do this, Sunghoon,” you warn, your voice quieter, more vulnerable than you’d like.

He pauses, his gaze softening just for a second. “Do what?”

“Make this more than it is,” you whisper, feeling a knot form in your throat. “Because I can’t… I won’t.”

Sunghoon’s expression hardens again, and he leans back, crossing his arms defensively. “Fine,” he mutters. “If that’s how you want it.”

You swallow, forcing yourself to stay composed. “Yeah. It is.”

He nods curtly, stepping away, his face unreadable. “Good. See you around, then,” he says before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving you standing in the empty hallway with your heart in your throat.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The next few days are torture. Sunghoon keeps his distance, and you tell yourself it’s for the best. But every time you see him, every time you catch his eyes across the cafeteria or in class, there’s a hollow ache in your chest that you can’t ignore.

Your friends notice the tension. They ask questions, but you shrug it off, pretending everything’s fine. But you can’t stop replaying your last conversation with Sunghoon, the way his face looked when you told him to back off. You hate how much you miss him, even if you’d never admit it to anyone, especially not to him.

One afternoon, as you’re walking to your car after school, you spot him leaning against a tree nearby, talking to some girl you don’t recognize. He’s smiling, that same smile that used to be reserved for your private moments. Something sharp twists in your chest, and you quickly look away, anger flaring up.

He catches your glance and, for a moment, his smile falters. But then he leans in closer to the girl, laughing at something she says, and your stomach churns with a mix of jealousy and frustration.

You grip your bag tighter, feeling a sting behind your eyes. This is exactly why you didn’t want things to get complicated. You turn away, refusing to look back.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Sunghoon avoids you. He’s usually the first one to shoot a teasing remark your way, but he’s silent. The hallways feel strangely empty without his usual jabs, and your friends are starting to notice the shift between you two.

“Are you guys fighting again?” Karina asks, as the two of you walk to lunch. Her tone is half-exasperated, half-amused, but you know she’s genuinely curious. “You and Sunghoon, I mean. There’s definitely more tension than usual.”

You shrug, trying to seem indifferent, but your stomach twists with anxiety. “When aren’t we fighting?” you mutter.

She gives you a knowing look, but thankfully doesn’t push it further. You’re not sure how much more of this you can take without your feelings bubbling over. You’re determined to get through lunch without letting Sunghoon get under your skin, but when you enter the cafeteria, you spot him immediately.

He’s at your usual table, talking to Heeseung, but his gaze is elsewhere. The second you walk in, his eyes find yours, and there’s a fleeting moment of something unreadable in his expression. A flash of frustration? Longing? You can’t be sure.

You take a deep breath and head over, sliding into your usual seat. Karina sits next to you, and for a moment, everything feels normal. But then Sunghoon starts talking.

“So,” he says, his tone casual but his eyes locked on you, “Heeseung, heard you and Karina had another spat. What was it this time? You didn’t say ‘I love you’ enough?”

Heeseung rolls his eyes, but Karina just laughs, lightly smacking Heeseung’s arm. “Don’t listen to him, babe. He’s just deflecting from his own issues,” she teases.

Sunghoon smirks, but there’s no real humor in it. “I don’t have issues, Karina. Just people who like to make things complicated,” he says, glancing at you.

You feel your face heat up, irritation boiling over. “Oh, please,” you snap back. “Like you’re the picture of simplicity.”

He leans back in his chair, his eyes glinting with challenge. “Never said I was. But at least I’m honest about it.”

Your chest tightens. “Honest?” you scoff. “You’ve been playing games from the start, Sunghoon.”

He shrugs, feigning indifference. “Maybe I have. But at least I know what I want.”

His words send a jolt of electricity through you, and you clench your jaw, trying to keep your composure. “And what’s that, exactly?”

He leans forward, his voice dropping low so only you can hear. “You. But you already knew that.”

Your heart skips a beat. For a second, you’re frozen, caught between wanting to slap him and… something else. Something you’re not ready to face.

“You’re such a—” you start, but before you can finish, Sunghoon’s foot nudges yours under the table, and your breath hitches.

You’re hyper-aware of the table between you, the curious glances from your friends, and the heat creeping up your neck. Sunghoon’s gaze is still on you, challenging, waiting for your response.

You can’t help the retort that slips out. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

He shrugs with a small grin. “More than you know.”

Before you can shoot back another insult, heeseung cuts in, oblivious to the tension. “Okay, what is happening between you two? I feel like I missed an entire chapter here.”

Sunghoon doesn’t even glance at Heeseung. “Nothing’s happening. Right, Y/N?”

“Right,” you reply, forcing a smile, but your voice sounds strained, even to your own ears.

Heeseung and Karina exchange a look, clearly unconvinced. “Sure, whatever you say,” Karina murmurs with a smirk. “Just remember, denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.”

Sunghoon’s lips twitch in amusement, and he finally looks away, leaning back in his chair as if nothing happened. But under the table, his foot is still lightly brushing against yours, sending sparks up your leg.

You bite the inside of your cheek, determined not to let him see how much he’s getting to you.

But you can’t help it—the sensation, the frustration, and the undeniable attraction between you are all mixing into one chaotic storm.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and everyone begins to gather their things. You stand, trying to shake off the tension still lingering between you and Sunghoon, but Karina has other ideas.

“Hey, Y/N,” she calls, grabbing your arm just as you’re about to head out. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

You nod, feeling a knot form in your stomach. She leads you to a quieter corner of the hallway, away from the crowd. You can tell by the look on her face that she’s not letting this go.

Karina crosses her arms, tilting her head slightly. “Okay, seriously,” she starts, her voice low but pointed. “What the fuck was that back there?”

You blink, trying to feign ignorance. “What was what?”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me. You and Sunghoon… there was some serious tension at lunch. It was like watching a live soap opera, and I feel like I’ve missed a few episodes.”

You sigh, glancing around to make sure no one is listening in. “It’s nothing, Karina,” you insist, but even to your own ears, it sounds unconvincing.

Karina raises an eyebrow. “Nothing? Really? Because from where I was sitting, it looked like something. A big something.”

You bite your lip, unsure of how much to tell her. “Look, we… we just don’t get along. You know that.”

“Yeah, but this felt different,” she replies, not letting up. “Like, I don’t know, it almost seemed like… there was something more there.”

Her words hit a little too close to home, and you feel your cheeks heat up. “You’re imagining things,” you say quickly, but Karina’s not buying it.

She leans in closer, her expression turning more serious. “Y/N, I’m your best friend. I know when something’s up. And that? That was definitely something.”

You hesitate, torn between the urge to confide in her and the fear of admitting the truth. “It’s complicated,” you finally admit, your voice barely a whisper.

Karina’s eyes widen with intrigue. “Complicated how?”

You swallow hard, looking away. “I don’t even know how to explain it. We’ve just… been hanging out a little more lately. And things got… weird.”

“Weird how?” she presses, clearly not letting this go.

You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “We’ve been… hooking up,” you confess, your voice almost inaudible.

Karina’s mouth falls open in shock. “Wait, what? You and Sunghoon?” She looks like she doesn’t know whether to laugh or gasp. “Since when?”

“A few weeks,” you admit, feeling a strange mix of relief and anxiety now that the secret is out.

Karina blinks, taking a moment to process. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I didn’t think it would last this long,” you say defensively. “I thought it was just going to be a one-time thing, but then… it wasn’t.”

Karina’s expression softens slightly. “And how do you feel about it? About him?”

You shrug, trying to appear nonchalant. “I don’t know. It’s confusing. Half the time, I can’t stand him. The other half… well, you saw how lunch went.”

Karina lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, I did. It’s like you two can’t decide whether you want to kill each other or… not.”

You groan, leaning back against the wall. “That’s exactly how it feels.”

Karina nudges you with her elbow. “Just be careful, okay? Sunghoon’s not exactly known for being straightforward with his feelings.”

You nod, appreciating her concern. “I know. Trust me, I’m not expecting anything… much. It’s just… whatever it is.”

Karina gives you a knowing smile. “Alright, but just remember, I’m here if you need to talk. Or, you know, if you need me to kick his ass.”

You laugh, feeling some of the tension ease. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

As you walk back to class, you feel a little lighter, but also more uncertain than ever. Because now that Karina knows, it feels more real. And that scares you more than you’d like to admit.

You pause for a moment, letting your thoughts catch up to your racing heart. Sunghoon had admitted it first, hadn't he? In his own cryptic way, he’d confessed he wanted more than just the back-and-forth, more than just the thrill of the chase. You remember the way he looked at you that day, his eyes full of frustration and something else — something softer, something you weren’t ready to face.

He’d said he wanted you. He’d practically dared you to deny that you wanted him, too. And ever since, you’ve been trying to convince yourself that it didn't matter — that it was just some passing thing, some fling to fill the boredom. But it wasn't. It never was.

You sigh deeply, leaning back against the wall of the building. The memory of his words still lingers like a brand on your skin: "I want you." It had sounded so simple when he said it, so sure. Like he wasn’t afraid of the mess that came with it.

You’ve been too afraid to admit it to yourself, but now… now it feels like you’ve been fighting a battle that’s already lost.

He confessed his feelings first, but you’ve been holding back, afraid to let yourself feel the same. Afraid of what it might mean, of how it could change things between you. You thought you could control it, could manage the situation and keep your distance, but all you’ve managed to do is dig yourself deeper into this mess.

You’re tired. Tired of fighting your own heart, tired of pretending you’re unaffected. Tired of feeling like you're caught in this tug-of-war between desire and denial.

*He’s already put himself out there,* you remind yourself. *He made the first move.* And that thought alone is enough to push you forward, to make you realize that maybe it’s your turn now. Your turn to decide if you want to keep running or if you’re brave enough to let yourself fall.

Pushing off the wall, you feel a wave of determination settle over you. If you’re going to do this, you need to find him and be honest. Not just with him, but with yourself.

Because you don’t want to keep this back-and-forth going, this constant dance of pushing and pulling. You want to know where you stand — with him, and with whatever this thing between you is becoming.

You take a deep breath and start walking, knowing exactly where to find him. And this time, you’re not going to let him get away without an answer.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You find Sunghoon by the lockers, leaning against the metal with that typical nonchalant pose he seems to have perfected. His head is tilted down, focused on his phone, but he looks up as you approach, sensing your presence. His eyes flicker with surprise for just a moment before his usual guarded expression returns.

“What do you want?” he asks, his voice laced with that familiar arrogance, but there’s something else there, too—an undercurrent of curiosity, maybe even hope.

You don’t bother with pleasantries. “We need to talk,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. You try to sound firm, but even you can hear the slight waver in your voice. Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.

“Oh, so now you want to talk?” he retorts, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “After avoiding me all day?”

You roll your eyes, feeling the tension bubble up again. “I wasn’t avoiding you,” you snap, even though you both know it’s a lie. “I just needed… time to think.”

He straightens up, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Think about what?” he asks, and his tone is a little softer now, less mocking.

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of your next words pressing down on you. “About this. About us,” you say, your voice steadier now. “I’m tired of all this back and forth, Sunghoon. I’m tired of pretending like there’s nothing between us when we both know there is.”

His eyes search yours, and for a moment, his guard slips. “I told you how I felt,” he says quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re the one who kept pretending it was just… nothing.”

You feel a pang of guilt twist in your stomach. “I know,” you admit, meeting his gaze head-on. “And I was wrong. I thought I could just… push it away, ignore it. But I can’t. Not anymore.”

Sunghoon’s expression softens, just a little. “So what are you saying?” he asks, his voice careful, as if he’s trying not to hope too much.

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to stay honest. “I’m saying… I want to figure this out. I want to try… whatever this is between us. But I need you to be real with me, Sunghoon. No more games.”

He takes a step closer, closing the distance between you, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve been real,” he says, his voice low and intense. “I’ve been real since that night at Karina’s party, and I’ve been waiting for you to catch up.”

You’re taken aback by the sincerity in his words, by the way his eyes seem to bore into yours like he’s trying to see into your very soul. “I’m here now,” you reply, your voice barely a whisper.

Sunghoon takes another step closer, and now he’s right in front of you, his breath warm on your skin. “So what do you want?” he murmurs, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair from your face. “Do you want me, or are you still trying to convince yourself you don’t?”

Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you’re not sure what to say. But then you realize you’ve known the answer all along. “I want you,” you admit, your voice steady, finally letting the truth slip past your lips. “But I don’t want to keep pretending like it’s nothing. I want to try… something real. But I don’t want it to be this constant push and pull, Sunghoon. I can’t keep doing that.”

Sunghoon’s lips curl into a small, almost relieved smile. “Then let’s stop playing games,” he says softly, leaning in closer. “Let’s see where this goes, no more pretending. Just you and me.”

You feel a strange sense of relief wash over you at his words, a weight lifting from your chest. “Okay,” you whisper, and it feels like the most honest thing you’ve said in a long time.

His smile widens just a fraction, and he closes the final distance between you, his lips brushing against yours in a way that feels both familiar and new. It’s not the frantic, heated kisses you’ve shared before—it’s slower, deeper, filled with a promise of something more.

And for the first time, you feel like you’re finally on the same page. Finally moving in the same direction.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Over the next few weeks, things between you and Sunghoon change in ways you never could have anticipated. At first, it’s subtle — small shifts that only the two of you notice. You spend more time together between classes, sitting closer at lunch, and texting late into the night. The playful bickering is still there, but it’s softened somehow, more like an inside joke than a battle.

Your friends don’t notice at first. They’re used to seeing you and Sunghoon together, arguing about this or that, so the extra time you spend with him doesn't raise any immediate red flags. But eventually, the signs become too obvious to ignore.

One day at lunch, you’re sitting next to Sunghoon, your legs brushing under the table. His hand casually rests on the back of your chair, his thumb occasionally grazing your shoulder. Jay, seated across from you, narrows his eyes, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Okay, what’s going on?” he asks, his tone teasing but his eyes curious.

You glance over at Sunghoon, who just smirks. “What do you mean?” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant, but you can feel the flush creeping up your neck.

Jay gestures between the two of you. “This,” he says, waving his hand. “You two. You’re being weird. Weird even for you two.”

Karina, who’s been listening in, gasps. “Oh my god,” she says, her eyes widening with realization. “Are you guys… together?”

The table goes silent for a second, everyone turning to look at you. Sunoo’s eyebrows shoot up, and Jake leans forward, looking like he’s trying to solve a particularly complicated math problem.

Sunghoon leans back, crossing his arms over his chest with a grin. “Depends,” he says casually. “What do you think?”

You elbow him in the side, rolling your eyes at his vague answer. “Yes,” you say, looking at your friends. “We’re… together. Kind of.”

“Kind of?” Sunghoon echoes, feigning offense, and you shoot him a playful glare.

“Yes, kind of!” you insist, turning back to your friends, who are now staring at you like you’ve just revealed you’re secretly an alien. “It’s… new.”

Heeseung chuckles. “I mean, I’m not totally surprised,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “You two have been like a powder keg waiting to explode for years.”

Yuna nods eagerly. “Honestly, it was about time,” she adds, and you can’t help but laugh at her bluntness.

Jungwon, however, looks mildly concerned. “So, you’re serious?” he asks, glancing between you and Sunghoon. “Like, actually serious?”

Sunghoon looks at you, his smile softening just a bit, and he nods. “Yeah,” he says, and there’s a sincerity in his voice that makes your heart skip a beat. “We’re serious.”

Your friends take a moment to process this. Then Jake grins. “Alright,” he says, raising his glass of soda. “To Y/N and Sunghoon. The enemies-to-lovers arc we didn’t know we needed.”

You laugh, and everyone joins in, raising their glasses. It’s strange, in a way, seeing everyone so quickly accept what feels like a massive shift in your life. But it also feels… right.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Over the next few days, things become more obvious. You and Sunghoon are no longer trying to hide. He reaches for your hand in the hallways, and you let him. He kisses you on the cheek in front of the others, and they pretend to gag but smile knowingly when they think you’re not looking.

You catch Karina’s eye one afternoon, and she gives you a grin that’s part smug, part excited. She leans over, whispering, “So… you finally admitted you like him, huh?”

You smile, shrugging a bit. “Guess so,” you say, and she laughs, nudging you with her elbow.

The hardest part, strangely enough, is getting used to the change yourself. It’s still weird to not have to hide how you feel, to be able to smile at Sunghoon without wondering if anyone is watching. But with each passing day, it gets a little easier.

And it’s not like everything is perfect. You and Sunghoon still argue — of course, you do. That’s just how you are. But there’s something different now, something that feels less like anger and more like… passion. Like you’re both on the same side, even when you’re bickering.

There are moments when you catch him looking at you from across the room, a small smile on his lips, and you feel a warmth spread through your chest. And in those moments, you know — this is real. This is right.

Your friends have stopped asking questions. They’ve accepted that this is your new normal, and honestly, so have you. The only thing left to do is see where it takes you.

taglist: @awqken @hollyoongs @enhastolemyheart @wonnienyang @skzenhalove @slvrnm @lovesangyeon @velvetkisscs @soobieboo @jakeflvrz @woorcve @moonpri @blockbusterhee @yjwsgf @doublebunv @moon4moony @woniebae @moon368 @jakeswifewithtwokids @love4hee @ikeryn @univershoon @indigoez @ramenoil @iilwji @riribell @ilabjungwon @tunafishyfishylike @psh23xie @toodeloosoo @leov3rse @onlyhyunjin @nyxtwixx @mnxnii @whateverhoon @jayrelics @laurradoesloveu @heeswif3y @enhalxvr @yunhoswrldddd @nikiswifiee @aiiselle90210 @lixiebokie @lelsforlino @eneiyri @punchbug9-blog @babystrlla @hee-yunie @hoonics @notevenheretbh1

𝐒𝐔𝐍 & 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 | 𝐏𝐒𝐇, 𝐒𝐉𝐘

𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗎𝗉 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗆 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗆𝗈𝗂𝗅, 𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋.

the sun burns bright, alone and bold, lights up the moon with its endless gold.

READ HERE!

PAIRING: neglected prince!sunghoon x princess!reader

SUMMARY: park sunghoon, the forsaken prince of the south, had always lived in the shadows of jaeyun's favor. but then you arrived. your presence ignited a flame within him that he had long thought extinguished, and he became profoundly attached to you.

but, when the news of your marriage to jaeyun, the very bastard who had usurped everything sunghoon held dear—reached him, his world shattered once again. now, driven by desperation and resolve, he is set on making you his, regardless of the consequences.

GENRE: royalty, love triangle, forbidden love, angst, smut

WORD COUNT: 8k

RELEASE DATE: 12th september

so could the moon can gleam with its lover, stars, their light a whisper of sun's scars.

READ HERE

PAIRING: crown prince!jaeyun x princess!reader

SUMMARY: spending years loving someone who will never see you in the same light is a quiet kind of pain, one that lingers and deepens with time. it is a pain that hurts jaeyun, like a lonely moon forever chasing the night sky, knowing it will never reach the stars. you are always so close to him, yet you remain just out of reach, forever distant. he can only watch as you give your heart and love to another—his brother—while he is left to bear the silent ache of unfulfilled longing.

GENRE: royalty, love triangle, arranged marriage, unrequited love, brother rivalry, angst, smut, infidelity (?)

WORD COUNT: 15-20k

RELEASE DATE: tba

TAGLIST: send an ask or comment on this post! only 18+ pls.

a/n: sorry for dumping my shit here but this fic has been sitting in my docs since last year and i think its time to publish. sunghoon's part is already written, but i need to revamp it before the release date. then, i'll dive into jake's part, which im really excited about because all the crazy shit happens there

— 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐒! (ONESHOT) | LEE HEESEUNG

୨୧ pairing — secretary-general!lee heeseung x delegate!fem!reader

synopsis: decelis high's academic weapon, future valedictorian, model un prodigy especially in the crisis council, and top-notch secretary-general of the mun club, lee heeseung has it all. from earning constant "best delegate-s" left and right, no one dared to go against his stances in any debate. until a student like you transfers into decelis high. as a soon graduating senior, you were a newbie to press. but with your endless love for writing, you'd managed to steal the hearts of your peers. it was your first mun, and you didn't expect much. but when heeseung finds out about an article you've wrote about his arrogant performance in a recent committee session, he is set to strike you down.

୨୧ genre — kinda angsty but with happy ending, high school au, secgen/crisis delegate!heeseung x press delegate!reader, academic rivals to lovers, dumbasses in denial, a brief moment of rivals in public but lovers in secret, one sided rivalry

୨୧ warnings — a lot of model un terms (hope you guys can understand), cursing, hurt no comfort, heeseung highkey hates reader, reader is a bit feisty and could care less but she lowkey has parental issues, featuring all the other enhypen members, aespa's winter aka minjeong, txt's yeonjun and beomgyu, stray kids’ i.n, gidle's shuhua, and ive's wonyoung, one bed trope, forced proximity

୨୧ word count — 13.3k (not proofread, but will slowly edit/make changes to tiny minor mistakes found)

୨୧ author's note — dear readers, i'm back from a long overdue hiatus with a new layout and theme! this fic is long as HELL i didn't expect it to reach this long omg. i also changed up a couple details so it will be quite different from the teaser! i’m so sorry for the long overdue wait, senior year of high school has been so hectic, and i’ve been finally able to finish this so enjoy :) omg holy shit y’all are finally reading my full length fic i’ve been harboring since what? february?

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 had it all.

the walls of his room were littered with delegate lanyards from conferences across the globe, "best delegate" certificates framed all over his house (and a couple crumpled up inside his desk to fit the space), and a collection of trophies stood in every nook and cranny.

no one at decelis high dared to go against his stance. whenever it was, whether it was a moderated caucus or unmoderated, he'd always have his country or character's placard raised high, ready to speak, or leading whatever bloc was being formed.

there was no doubt that no one had ever beat him. it was no doubt that he was decelis high's mun club's secretary-general, and those who chose to go against him either got crushed in fear or knew when to step back.

even with his "best delegate" status, he wouldn't have gone far without his best mates, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and park sunghoon.

park jongseong or jay, most known for his cold stares in the debate room, ready to make a delegate tremble, would always chair crisis. he was decelis high's deputy secretary-general alongside heeseung. and although being heeseung's best mate, he never favored him when it came to awarding. it's just that he was naturally talented.

sim jaeyun, known for his popular slogan around the school; "jake it till you make it!", was the strongest when it came to knowing what a country or character believed in. his research skills were like a pirate on the hunt for lost treasure, he had all the facts, the data, and the proof to back up any stance. whatever heeseung needed to know, jake already had his back.

and park sunghoon. even though he was the quiet one of the bunch, his position papers never ceased to appeal to any chair. even if he wasn't as strong in speaking out during committee sessions, his fingers were his weapon. the guys would always ask him why'd he chair press and not join in the heat with them, he'd always answer with "my words are stronger than my actions." where jay would always respond with "isn't that the other way around bud?"

the four were unstoppable when it came to model un. lee heeseung was unstoppable. he was. until you came along.

you were quiet at first. everyone just saw you as the new girl who transferred for her senior year. nobody cared. until decelis high's annual mun conference, which happened to take place a couple weeks after the first day of school.

students from all over the country gathered at decelis high once a year to join in on the fun. various councils were presented at decelis mun, from heeseung's favorite council, crisis, and multiple others like unhrc, who, unsc, disec, unicef, and your favorite, press.

without a doubt, you registered yourself for press, opting that you didn't have the guts to join any other council. you feared you'd tremble listening to another delegate question your stances and ideologies.

your parents would always encourage your writing. as a child, you loved to write little imaginary stories about your life as a princess. writing stories about the love you've seen in your parents, you were set to write a book. but when your mom passed away a few weeks before your senior year of high school, and your dad constantly traveling for work, you had resorted yourself to watching the news all summer long, spiking your interest in being a journalist, where all you had to do was report whatever was going on, spit out what had to be said, and done. you didn't need to think long and hard on what your character was supposed to do next to support the storyline, no opinions, no biases.

as you stepped into your assigned council's room, you felt a gush of wind. the nervousness had gotten to you more, seeing all the socially bright journalists with their laptops open and chatting amongst each other happily.

"hi! you're a new face! oh and you're cnn! me and you will be best buddies! bbc here!" a girl squeals, she has a bright smile and a oh-so friendly demeanor. no doubt a popular trait amongst the press council.

"minjeong! don't scare her off. we're so sorry, she sometimes comes off a bit too much to new people. i'm wonyoung, the co-chair for press." she introduces herself.

"oh, hello. i'm y/n. i just transferred to decelis this year. it's my first time at press." you smile. you lost all your socialite cheerfulness over the summer, but meeting minjeong and wonyoung felt like you've been recharged. "oh and i'm the journalist for cnn?"

the girls take a glance at your nametag, examining you, before wonyoung cuts, "first time? don't worry sweetheart, we'll tell you all about it! right hoonie?"

a tall figure walks up to the three of you, no doubt a intimidating face. "y/n right? i'm sunghoon, the chair for press." he asks.

"yes yes this is her! oh we've got to tell her all about press! first timer alert!" wonyoung beams, before entangling her hand with sunghoon's. there was no doubt that the two were a couple.

"ugh, okay you two cut it off! we're journalists, we gotta be professional!" minjeong argues, playfully slapping wonyoung's arm, causing her to let go of sunghoon's.

at first, you had no idea what you were stepping into. but when chair sunghoon welcomed you to press with his icy-blue eyes and quiet demeanor, the other journalists supporting each other when it came to writing their articles, you felt right at home.

it didn't feel like it, but two days of endless debates went on, countries arguing left and right, and articles written on the current hot topic. the tension was surely rising, and your fingers were tired.

you were glad it was all over.

at every post-conference social, before awards were handed out, the articles the journalists from press wrote would be released to the conference for the other delegates to read. besides their usual gossip box, the articles the press wrote were always the fuel to the fire.

one article stuck up to heeseung. it read; "secretary-general heeseung's love for crisis interferes chair jongseong's chairing process, now who's really chairing crisis?"

heeseung swore to himself that he's never seen a girl like you. so quiet yet so powerful in her writing. hearing rumors that you've only just recently transferred to decelis high. even sunghoon himself was surprised to meet a talented journalist like you, a first-timer at press.

"it was her first time?" heeseung protested, "i mean- she's so quiet and reserved, if she had been doing press for years, i wouldn't be surprised. but this is her first time?!"

"what do you mean she's quiet? look at hoon, he never says a word in comses, but look at him chairing press. and i would never mind you tagging along in crisis, you always give out good insights." jay interrupts his thoughts.

heeseung complains, "i understand that, but her innocent face says nothing to what she wrote about me!"

"her articles were critical. they were precise and to the point. there was never a single weak spot in her articles. i think she's gonna make a run for my position." sunghoon defends.

"it's just one article hee, it won't affect your entire track record anyways." jake compliments, giving him a pat on the back.

heeseung believed what jake said was true. he did have an outstanding track record. "best delegate"s here and there, one silly little article wouldn't ruin his entire reputation.

as the clock strikes seven, social night was slowly coming to a close. decelis high's third annual mun was coming to an end. all that was left was to hand out the awards.

heeseung made his secretary-general speech as usual, a couple thank you-s here and there, before he handed it over to the chairs to announce the awards.

as he was walking down the stage, he felt a couple stares from mostly the press council linger. fixing his tie, he shook it off before taking a seat in the front row.

awards were handed, from best position papers, verbal commendations, honorable mentions, most outstanding delegates, and of course, best delegates.

the press council was saved for last. sunghoon asked heeseung if he could be given more time to rethink his options for the awards, and as his best mate, he let him. in reality, sunghoon didn't need time to rethink his options. he and wonyoung knew who was going to win best journalist. sunghoon just wanted to save the best for last.

when heeseung hears sunghoon's announcement for best journalist, it clicks.

"and the press council's best journalist award goes to none other than... l/n y/n!"

cheers could be heard from across the conference room. minjeong practically jumping on you when they heard your name mentioned. you rushed to the stage with a red face and a still shocked reaction, receiving the certificate along with the medal. wonyoung gave you the biggest bear hug known to man, whilst sunghoon gave you a firm handshake.

you felt the cameras flashing at you, taking pictures from what felt like every single angle. unbeknownst to you, heeseung was glaring at you from the front row.

best journalist. best journalist? his mind was running all over the place. how could he? how could sunghoon, his best friend, let such a writer like you, who wrote a devious article about him, win best delegate?

a single glance at the other delegates of the press council only angered him more. amongst them were laughs and snickers. he swore he heard a journalist say; "looks like mister secgen is upseeet!" but decelis mun only happened once a year. he wouldn't have the need to care about you every other day.

or so he thought.

heeseung felt like you were everywhere. at every lunch break, you were always sitting across his and the boys' table, laughing at nonsense with yunjin and wonyoung. during free periods, you'd be at the library, hunched over your laptop or head deep in a book. and at mun club, you just had to be there.

he hated that you were gifted like him. he hated that his friends favored you. he hated that sunghoon would always send you to their rival school's muns to participate in their press councils. he hated that you always won. he hated that you were clouding his mind every single day.

you hadn't but uttered a single "thank you," to lee heeseung. as decelis high's secretary-general, you didn't think he'd care about you. you were just a writer. you had no strength in the debate field, no reason for lee heeseung to care. but why was he being so cold?

it started when you applied for the harvard model congress. you were ecstatic to find out you'd be attending the conference. obviously, you told minjeong and wonyoung all about it. even striking up small talk with sunghoon.

"that's amazing y/n. i mean, harvard model congress? that's big!" his tooth-rotting smile bringing a cheerful mood.

"you went from winning best journalist in schools across the state to varsity level in just a few months!" minjeong squeals, as she hugs you. you were really lucky to have such caring best friends.

laughing along in the mun club room, you could feel heeseung's glare from his desk. headphones on and focused onto his laptop screen, you felt a strange feeling resonating off of him.

heeseung was fuming. the entire club applied for harvard model congress. heeseung got in. his mates did. and of course, you also did.

it was supposed to be a three day long weekend with his mates full of debate, laughter, awards, and getting drunk on social nights. but no. you and your friends would be there too.

heeseung didn't understand why everyone was so trusting of you so easily.

even jay, was friendly with you. "well y/n, i think you're going to make a run for hee's job!"

wonyoung rolls her eyes at jay. "he should be scared. you've rose up through the ranks like jake's receeding hairline."

"hey! my hair is perfectly fine, thank you!" jake cuts, huffing at the ridiculous comment about his hair.

"yo hee! we gotta work out the letter to the school so we can get a few days off. come over here, you look like you're burning holes into your laptop!" jay chuckles, receiving a smack on the arm from jake.

a quick but surprising slam! from heeseung's laptop emitted a low echo throughout the room. followed by a ruffling of him throwing his decelis almameter over his shoulder, and another loud slam! of the mun club room's door. lee heeseung just stormed out.

"oof, what's got into him?" minjeong asks, her face contorting into an anxious look.

"i don't fucking know, he's been at it since decelis' annual mun. throwing temper tantrums left and right." jay sighs, concerned for his best friend.

"well i guess that temper is living up to my article." you suggest, letting out a huff and a subtle eyeroll.

sunghoon takes a deep breath before realization hits. "now that i think of it, he's been at it since you've joined our core team." while he points at you.

"what does that have to do with me? i didn't do shit. all i do is sit, join muns, write, and win awards for us. would he rather i'd be getting verbal commendations instead?" you sigh. you've done nothing but bring pride to decelis high's reputation.

wonyoung laughs, patting you on the back. "it's not about winning verbcom or bestdel, it's about heeseung finally finding his match."

"exactly! he's gone on and on about constantly winning at every mun. he's always complained about needing more of a challenge. and no shit he's been jealous of your achievements." minjeong pipes in.

"that's ridiculous. i don't understand crisis as much as he does, i'm just a journalist on the press council! he's basically just being an ass to me, that's all." you confessed, you and heeseung were basically on different levels. he was secgen and lover of crisis councils, whilst you were just one of the head journalists and co-editors of the press division.

"maybe he likes you? i don't know!" jake squeals, lifting his shoulders in question. jay and sunghoon gives him a slap on the shoulder each, a glaring stare between the three.

"no no, lee heeseung is a cold-hearted son of a bitch with an ego to feed every other day, there's no way he can feel shit." minjeong debates, a hint of anger in her voice.

"woah girl, what's got you mad? i get you two grew up together but that's a lot to say about heeseung." wonyoung asks her.

"i know it's a long story, but y/n deserves to know. right?" minjeong asks, waiting for you to nod to continue. "every single day of my life, i was my parents' star girl. i love my parents for supporting me. but ever since heeseung moved in next door, i was demoted from best girl in the neighborhood to second best to heeseung. ever since we were eight, heeseung didn't like to lose. to a boy he'd be a good sport. but when he lost to me in a mere storytelling competition, he'd throw a tantrum. that's heeseung to me. he's nothing but an egotistical ass who has to win everything."

you sigh, hearing minjeong’s words. "and you know what y/n?" she continues, "he's never lost it since we were 13. and you, y/n, have officially made him lose his mind. again."

this year's harvard model congress was held at seoul national university, the dream university of many korean students. the seven of you stayed at a hotel nearby, settling in.

sunghoon picks up the keycards at the check-in counter, "okay so there's three rooms in total, the girls are sharing, me and jake are in one room, which leaves heeseung and jay—"

"i'm sorry sir," the hotel staff interrupts him, "but the rooms are already divided by the hotel and cannot be changed. it says here, room 745 is for miss kim and miss yang, room 746 is for mister park, mister sim, and the other mister park— mister jongseong, and room 777 is for—"

"great. thank you. alright, let's settle in and get ready for social night." heeseung sighs, grabbing his suitcase and your shared room's keycards before heading to the elevators. you gave the rest of the group a shaky smile before following heeseung.

the moment you two entered the lift, and as heeseung tapped the keycard and pressing the button for the seventh floor, you could feel the tension.

as the lift begins to move upwards, heeseung lets out a sigh. "look, l/n. we're sharing a room by casuality, so don't make it a big deal."

you huff shakily, "a big deal? you're the one who's been avoiding me all year! i barely disturb you and all i do is win awards for decelis. what else do you want from me?" your voice slowly getting angrier.

as heeseung opens his mouth to answer, the lift comes to a halt as its doors open, signaling that they've reached the seventh floor.

heeseung holds the lift doors open, so you can exit it with ease. you were surprised with this gesture. coming from him who could care less about your presence, you were baffled.

as you both reach at your hotel room, heeseung gave you one of the three keycards given before tapping his at the hotel room's door.

and as if your romance stories came to life, you spotted an oh-so familiar trope sitting in the middle of your hotel room. there was only one king-sized bed.

"shut the front door." you sighed, looking at the clear situation in front of you.

heeseung entered behind you, "i clearly have, what are you talking abou—"

"no dumbass, it was a metaphor. i'm talking about this." you exclaimed, pointing your finger at the bed.

"great. i'll call up room service and get this sorted—"

"no it's fine, it'll be too much of a hassle and social night is in two hours. besides, we're civil adults, and we're here for only three nights. we can bear 72 hours living through this stupid one bed trope."

"fine. just so you know i'm taking the left side."

heeseung dropped his bag near his side, as he was trying his best to keep his composure. sharing a room with you was bad enough (that's what he keeps telling himself), but a bed as well? he'd rather win verbal commendation than share a bed with you.

you were unpacking your necessities before you decided to break the ice. "heeseung just so you know—"

but before you could finish, heeseung was already out the door. before the door closed, you could hear a mere; "i'll go down for social night. you do you." and a click! of the door.

you scanned the room that was once filled with such tension, spotting your room keycard on the bedside table.

you took off your sweater and switched to something a bit classier for social night, changing to a blood red dress you had packed to match harvard's colors. minjeong and wonyoung had helped you choose it a couple days prior, the conversation reappearing in your mind.

"harvard's got nothing on you with that dress! watch out best journalist!" minjeong hypes you up as you're trying it on in the changing room.

"are you sure it's not a bit too much?" you questioned, feeling insecure in the dress.

"too much? my guess is heeseung would drop dead seeing you in that dress. after all, he is in love with you." wonyoung giggles, which earns her a slap on her arm from winter.

"just own it y/n. maybe layer it with a leather jacket if you get cold?" minjeong suggests. you look at yourself in the mirror once more. maybe this would be the turning point between you and heeseung's rivalry. maybe he'd look at you and decide that he no longer hated you and instead loved y— no. enough of those thoughts.

as you touched up your makeup from earlier this morning, you headed out to find wonyoung and minjeong waiting at the lobby.

"there you are— oh that dress looks, damn!" minjeong exclaims, covering her mouth with her hand to hide the utter shock.

"i just know heeseung's going to gape at that dre—" before wonyoung could finish her sentence, she earns a smack on her arm from minjeong. "ow minie! i don't want my arm to be black and blue at social night! which starts in... thirty minutes. we should get to campus and fill in our registrations so we're set."

opening night was a blast. harvard model congress knew how to throw a goddamn banger of a opening night.

there were so many things to see. a karaoke booth, a photobooth station, a merch station, even a snack booth filled to the brim with various snacks and drinks.

after receiving your lanyards and a couple papers where you'd find your assigned councils for the next day, you, wonyoung, and minjeong, were set to let lose one last time before you were head deep into your laptops, writing articles for the next three days.

entering the room littered with decorations and other delegates, you and the girls entered the ballroom hand in hand, in awe with the decor.

wonyoung spotted the boys immediately, already saving a table for the seven of you. the three of you walked to the table, which had name plates for all your names. wonyoung next to sunghoon, jay next to jake, minjeong on your right next to you, and heeseung on your left.

sitting at the assigned seats and listening to the opening remarks by harvard model congress' secretary-general, the food was served and you all dug in.

although this was only the first of two social nights, you and the girls had to make the best of it. from abusing the “free photobooths!” booth, and filling the room with echoes of musical ballads, your first night at harvard model congress was deemed memorable.

before you knew it, you were dragged to the back of the room, as wonyoung pulled out a small paper bag—which turns out to hold a couple bottles of liquor, you grabbed your glasses and started pouring.

you could see out of the corner of your eye—the girls downing shots of tequila (in secret, cause you didn't want to get caught), and the guys coming along to take a shot or two. but heeseung looked, tense.

jake slapped him on the back, giggling, “come on man, loosen up a bit! mun isn’t all about the awards and the roles, it’s about the memories!”

“and the friends we make along the way, am i right?” jay chimed in, with a teasing tone.

before you knew it, heeseung grabbed an entire bottle and downed what was equivalent to maybe 4 shots, wonyoung squealed, arguing the fact that it was a very expensive bottle of liquor.

“dude! that’s from my dad’s cabinet, it’s at least 500.000 won!” she argued, grabbing the bottle out of his hands.

as you tried to ignore his gaze, minjeong gave you your first shot—which you downed immediately, but it only made you feel like heeseung’s gaze was burning holes into you more.

heeseung sighed, “give me another one.” holding his hand out for someone to pour him a shot. “come on, i don’t got all day.” before sunghoon poured him another shot—which he downed immediately.

you hated the feeling of his stare. it felt, uncomfortable, but you liked it? the more he stared, the more you downed more shots. before you knew it, opening night came to a close, and you were stumbling your way down the hallway with wonyoung and minjeong, before finally finding your room. and in your drunken state, you passed out.

burning pain. your eyes couldn’t handle the bright light emitting from what seemed to be all around you. as you open your eyes, head spinning, you flopped back down onto your bed, exhausted, and with the hotel room ac, you felt frozen.

but as you get comfortable onto the bed once more, you feel a sense of warmth engulf your body. it felt welcoming. comfortable. maybe a bit too comfortable for your sake. but the warmth was soothing. it was, moving?

you shot back out of the bed, trying to rub your eyes to focus back onto the warmth, but that warmth pulled you back into its embrace. as if it needed you to survive.

as you try to recollect the events of last night, your usual 7am alarm rung. what a great way to ruin the moment.

a groan echoed from that warmth you once clung to, a familiar sound, a familiar… voice?

“l/n, what time is it?” it asked.

fuck.

"chill y/n, you'll be fine." you whisper to yourself, walking to your assigned council's room. from the rest of the journalists in your gang, you had been assigned to report on different councils. while wonyoung and winter were assigned to report on the ASEAN council, sunghoon to report on the UNHRC council, you were unfortunately assigned to the crisis council. just to your luck. your mind was still stuck in what happened this morning. you met your chairs, shuhua and beomgyu, role call was held, and your first committee session began.

while you were typing away a starting paragraph for an article, a bright face comes to greet you. "oh hello, l/n y/n right? i'm jungwon, the journalist for KBS! i sit right next to you in our council room."

"oh hello! i'm y/n, reporting for the new york times, it's nice to meet you." you smile, offering a hand out for him to shake, which he accepts.

"so, you got assigned to crisis too huh?" jungwon asks as you nod, "honestly it's one of the worse councils to report on because everything is moving... too fast." he sighs.

"i don't mind the speed, it gives me inspiration to write. but everyone has their capacities right?" you try to reason, whilst jungwon gives an agreeing nod.

not long after some small talk before you could enter crisis' council room, another boy tags along. his bright smile clearly infectious as you and jungwon couldn't help but smile at his bright appearance.

"annyeong! nice to meet you i'm sunoo!" he smiles, his blonde hair reflecting the lights in the room.

you shake his hand as a boy with blonde hair and black streaks tags along behind him before slapping the blonde’s arm, "i'm nishimura riki, you can call me riki. can’t believe i flew all the way from tokyo for this."

“yah! your writing is fine riki, your good shots will steal the show.” sunoo assures him, before looking back at you, and smiling.

riki sighs, before turning on his camera “i wanna get the redhead over there, heard he’s super good at mun or something..”

you blink as you realize riki was talking about none other than—heeseung.

"oh him? yeah he's my secgen." you tell him, the sentence floating out of your mouth. jungwon and sunoo turn to you with gaping mouths.

"wait- what? he's YOUR secgen? THE lee heeseung?" jungwon exclaims.

you furrow your eyebrows, "um, yeah? what's the big deal about him?"

sunoo's face lights up, as he prepares his words. "girl, he's the most highest ranking student in the high school mun circuit! his countless awards and times he's chaired makes him a legend. he's a literal model un weapon, even delegates with the veto powers are scared of him." he explains.

as you open your mouth to respond to his comment about heeseung, one of the chairs of the crisis council exits the room to greet you.

"ah hello journalists, you're here. i'm yeonjun, the head chair for crisis. we currently have unmod going on right now so you're just in time. we'll give you guys a couple opportunities to interview the delegates, but please be mindful." he explains.

you and the three boys smile back at him, before he opens the council room door and lets you in.

"delegates! i'd like to introduce to you all the journalists from the international press institute council, who will be observing our committee session. we have yang jungwon from KBS, kim sunoo from associated press, nishimura riki from NHK, and y/n l/n from the new york times. please treat them with the upmost respect.

a couple delegates say their greetings, and even explaining the current debate going on, as the four of you smile back at them. the crisis council was a popular council, and you can tell that from the amount of delegates in the room.

as you return your laptop back into your messenger bag and pulling out a notepad, a pen, and some sticky notes, you look back up only to lock eyes with heeseung. his gaze was deadly. you give him a slight smile, which he responds with an eyeroll.

the only thing you hated about being a journalist was the interviews. you needed to research, but having to interact with people you don't know? you'd rather kill yourself. it just happened that heeseung's stance was interesting enough for you to pass a post-it note to him, which he threw away.

so you were surprised to see him walk towards you during break, as you had thought he had rejected your interview offer.

"l/n, you wanted to interview me?" he'd asked you, no bad tone in his voice.

you looked at him surprised, kinda shocked, "umm, yeah? are you okay with that."

"i'm good. just, make it quick."

you open your notes to find your question you wanted to ask him, "um, do you mind if i record?" you asked, which he nodded. "okay, so as the delegate of colombia, what steps would you take to face the ongoing drug trade happening in your country? as a journalist, we have not seen you speak up much lately, so i'd like to know your thoughts."

"um, thank you for the interesting question, well i think—"

it was unlike him to treat you like this. unlikely for him to keep his cool. as you try to remember the words he was saying as you hold out your phone to record him, nothing was catching on. it was as if words went in one ear and out the other. 

he was so professional. the way he walks, and the way he talks—the way his lips move when he talks, the way he explains his stance—the way he’s saying the words—the way his lips move to pronounce it, oh and the way he-

“l/n? are you done? i’m wasting my precious break time here.” heeseung asks you, breaking you out of that trance.

you compose yourself, hitting the stop button on the voice recorder app, “oh yeah, sorry, i was thinking of another question to ask you—got carried away…”

heeseung rolls his eyes at you, before thanking you and scurrying away.

what had gotten into you? you’ve never seen heeseung in that way before. he’s always been just a secretary-general to you. who also happens to hate you. you think. 

but as the unmoderated caucus comes to a close, you return back to your council room, ready to write an article on heeseung’s stance. after all, you still had a day’s left worth of committee sessions, as well as a press conference held at the crisis council. 

the press council room was chiming with the clicks and clacks of keyboards, journalists writing articles left and right. you were in the middle of writing once again another filler article, as you had no idea what to write for your mandatory article. as you look through your gallery, observing pictures you took earlier for your articles, you can't help but notice heeseung in his element.

as you're typing a possible title for your mandatory article, you hear from beside you, "hey, what's going on with you and heeseung?" sunoo asks, as you turn to him in shock, as you were in the middle of writing an article.

you laughed nervously, "what? nothing's going on between us. he practically hates me." you sigh.

jungwon pulls his chair over to you, placing his laptop on your table in the process, "i don't think so. not from what i saw last night."

you gasped at what he said, "and what i saw this morning! i could practically feel the tension emitting off the two of you as you were interviewing him. i've never seen a man so intrigued before." riki chimes in.

"this morning? nothing happened, i was interviewing him on his stances and whatsoever for a possible article! that's all to it!" you defend yourself, trying to get back into your article.

"y/nie, sweetie, i've seen way too many kdramas to tell that the way he's looking at you, is a look of love~" sunoo teases, smiling as if he knew something more.

jungwon and riki laughes at your expression, which seemed to resemble a disgusting look, but underneath that, you felt a sting in your heart. not a bad sting, a good sting.

"but hey you two seemed pretty cozy last night, i wonder what that was for?" jungwon asked.

riki gasps, "hey i took a picture! wait let me find it..." as he pulled out his camera, going through the camera roll. "here! you guys were dancing together a lot, and he basically was carrying you back to your room. what, did you guys get drunk or something?"

you choked on your water, as the events of last night start piecing together. "i remember taking a couple shots, he did too, but all i remember after that is falling asleep on my bed... i assumed my friends helped me to get back but now that i think of it... they were pretty drunk too."

taking another closer look at the pictures riki happened to capture, you saw two beaming smiles, and from the looks of it, it looked like you two were having fun. you've never seen him smile this much, let alone around you. the other picture resembled like a married couple. it was as if heeseung was trying to pick you up, but by the looks of your drunken states, it wasn't really working.

"wouldn't it be really funny if you guys accidentally fucked or something? that would explain the tension!" jungwon jokes.

you shake your head, before putting your face in your hands, "no way, not in a million years. our tension is, well, our tension! it's what happens normally!" you try to defend.

"no you're right won, they totally fucked. i mean the floor you guys are on? most of the rooms have king or queen sized beds. what would you guys be doing other than that? snuggling into each other till the sunrise?" riki assumes, scoffing afterwards.

your eyes widened in shock, as if jungwon cut your brain opened and took out the events of what happened this morning. you put your head in your hands once more before beginning to cry.

riki saw your reaction, "hey i didn't mean it that way! i mean it's- um... great? if you fucked? but if not then that's like, totally okay! i mean sex isn't for everyone—"

sunoo cut him off, shooing him away, "stop making it worse, ki-yah! y/nie? will you tell us what happened?"

you sniffed, not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears, maybe it was the frustration? you grabbed a tissue to compose yourself, "i don't know... all i remember is i woke up this morning, in his arms, and i just jumped out and got ready. we didn't even talk about it. all of a sudden he's back to his old self and he's being mean to me again."

you take a deep breath, sunoo rubbing you on the back, trying to calm you down. "he's been like this ever since i transferred. i was just the new girl who was a press prodigy, that's what they called me back at decelis, and i don't know, he's hated me every since. no reason whatsoever. i've tried to win his attention by winning muns and stuff but, it doesn't matter. he looks at me as if i disappoint him."

jungwon and riki both comfort you as well, before jungwon has a strike of realization. "you know, it's not that i wanna stir up delusion in your mind, but it's quite common for guys to hate someone because they like them. what if he has a crush on you?"

riki realizes as well, "yeah what if? what if all this time he's been trying so hard to hate you because he actually likes you?"

hearing the words likes you come out of their mouths makes you shudder in fear. no way he likes you. right?

before you knew it, your chair returns to announce that press conferences are due to start soon. and up first? was the crisis council.

stepping foot into the crisis room, with the information in mind, you start to notice the tiny little characteristics that match with the fact. the fact that the lee heeseung might as well have a crush on you. as you, sunoo, and two other journalists were guided to the front of the room, your chair explaining to the crisis delegates how the press conference was going to work, before giving the floor to the journalists.

you keep your head hung, distracting yourself by re-reading the questions you’ve written on your notepad, peeking through your hair, trying to take a glimpse of heeseung.

heeseung was in his element as always, head deep in his laptop, a couple volunteers passing by to give him a post-it note, filled with scribbles of other delegates wishing to be on his side. but as per usual, his critical self crumples the notes and puts it aside to his pile of other crumpled notes.

sunoo, on your left, nudges you in the arm, trying to snap you out of it. the moment you lift your head to look at the delegates and compose yourself, you catch heeseung looking at you.

with your bloodshot eyes, your usual smile fading, heeseung can’t help but notice what happened. you were fine last break. your eyes which used to be sparkling with curiosity had been traded for puffy eyes and a fake smile.

he wanted to come up to you, wanted to ask what’s wrong. but as your chair introduced the journalists, he’d wonder if it was just an impulsive thought.

each journalist had to share 10 minutes worth of press conference time to ask questions, a tight amount of time. as the journalist on your far left begins, the clock begins to tick. being the last journalist to ask, you begin to feel worried.

but as the mic is passed to you, and mere two minutes left on the clock, you scramble to compose yourself and your questions. “this journalist would like to open the question to the floor, with the excessive drug trade impacting the economy of your countries, what is an effective solution you’d have to decrease the drug circulation, but at the same time, would not damage your economy?”

placards were raised, and amongst them, were heeseung’s. you could see the colombian flag on his placard raised high, but as the journalist of the new york times, your work came first. therefore, you chose someone else. “yes, delegate of the united states?”

the delegate of the united states stood up, and you finally saw the name on his nametag. yang jeongin. he smirked at you, sending a wink. “thank you madam journalist for the intriguing question, as the drug trade across our country begins to increase…”

as you held your hand forward holding your phone out to record his answer, continuing to talk for the next minute. it felt like a lifetime. but in the corner of your eye, you could feel his gaze burning holes. heeseung held his placard high, glaring dead straight at jeongin even if he was still speaking. but as you thank jeongin for his answer, you open the question once more to the floor.

you hear a screech of the chair as heeseung, the only one holding his placard up, stands up to answer. but you don’t discern anything he says. you just stare at him. before you knew it, the clock rang, signaling that time was up.

sunoo nudged your arm once more, trying to snap you out of it. “you okay?” he asked, worry written all over his face. you nodded to tell him you were okay.

as you were escorted out of the room to head to the hotel restaurant for lunch break, you couldn't help but feel the same feeling of heeseung's gaze at the back of your head. you ignored him, walking out with sunoo by your side.

but you were stopped briefly by someone, none other than the delegate of the united states. "hey, that was a very interesting question you asked earlier at press conference. i was wondering if you need my insight on anything? given as i'm usa and you're the new york times." jeongin suggests, his usual smirk returning from before. sunoo winked at you, before leaving the two of you alone in the hallway.

you blink at him, "oh! yeah, i was thinking about gaining insight from, well our country's side of the story. so what can you tell me?"

your notepad flips open along the click of your pen, ready to jot down his words, before out of the corner of your eye, that sharp gaze returns. the burning stare heeseung emitted was back. you gulped and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "hey, um jeongin? could we find somewhere a bit more quiet so i can record the interview? i need to make sure everything is clear because i need to submit the questions to my chairs."

jeongin smiled, "of course sweetheart, i know just the place." before he took your hand and led you away. unbeknownst to you, heeseung was fuming.

as the two of you walked away, heeseung couldn't help but wonder. what's so great about yang jeongin anyways? compared to himself, his track record was not all that. yeah he may have won most outstanding or honorable mention a couple times, but never best delegate. consecutively.

heeseung felt a tap on his shoulder, before briefly turning around. jay was standing there with a cup of coffee. he grabbed it out of his hands before immediately drinking out of it.

"that's! hot coffee..." jay protested. but to heeseung, his rage burned hotter. "what's got your panties in a twist?" jay asked, sipping his own cup of coffee.

"nothing, just pissed at a delegate. per usual." heeseung lied. as the two begun to make their way to restaurant to eat lunch.

jay chuckled, seeing his pissed face, "dude, i've known you for over eight years, you don't get pissed at a delegate for no reason. this is harvard model congress for god's sake, everyone here? they're basically professionals. mun legends. i wouldn't have afford this shit if i wasn't good at it. the awards and prizes helped fund this hobby."

heeseung sighed, "it's not just a delegate. it's someone else."

"it's y/n, isn't it?" heeseung snapped his head to glare at jay, as if he grew three heads. "chill dude, i can tell. you're painfully in love with her."

"no no no, you don't get it, she's a menace to my track record. do you remember back at decelis mun before she transferred? her article basically ruined my record the next five muns? i basically had to avoid chairing so the rumors wouldn't be deemed true." heeseung argued, reminiscing the times.

"but you'd argue she's a damn good writer, isn't she?" jay defended, "i mean no one from decelis has won consecutively aside from you. and she comes in to make the decelis name proud. aren't you glad? you're secgen after all. you're just in denial."

heeseung sighed, looking at his cup of coffee, once full, now empty. "i'm not in denial! i'm just stressed with a couple delegates in committee session, unmoderated caucus was, stressful."

entering the restaurant, their eyes landed to the corner booth, where you sat face to face with jeongin. jay turned his head to look at heeseung staring deadset at the two. "well, whatever floats your boat man, i'm gonna get some lunch. unsc might as well go to crisis next comses." jay pats him on the back, joining sunghoon, jake, wonyoung, and minjeong.

heeseung stood still. he couldn't help but wonder. is this what love feels like?

"so, yang jeongin, what can you tell me about the united states' stance on the current illegal drug trade? i assume that the country is fully aware of it happening?" you ask, pressing record on your voicenotes app.

jeongin looked around, before reaching over and pressing the stop recording button on your phone. before you could protest, "okay cut the crap, what's going on between you and lee heeseung?"

you looked at him strangely, not expecting the sudden confrontation. "well, nothing? i don't know what you want me to say, this isn't part of the interview."

jeongin dug into his food, "screw that shit, i wanna know why your secgen is all on my ass. i mean i looked at you once at comses earlier, and he looked at me like i lit an orphanage on fire."

you almost choked on your pasta, "what the hell, dude. he's just like that. he hates my guts so much he has to make me feel uncomfortable everywhere i go. i literally bring home decelis as many awards as he has in the past two years. i don't get him."

"nah, i don't think that's hate. he looked at me as if he was clyde and i was trying to steal away his bonnie. that's a look of love."

you sighed, "the thing is jeongin, he doesn't care. i've done everything to pique his attention, best journalist awards left and right, i was supposed to run for deputy secgen but he didn't let me. he said i wasn't a true decelis muner yet. i mean 8 muns in the span of a couple months? and i've never lost a single one? he probably hates me because i chose the lamest council."

jeongin swallows his food before he comes to realization, "hey weren't you the journalist who wrote on heeseung back at decelis' mun? i remember felix-hyung, my friend, that he went feral over it. he was chairing unicef, and in the chairs' room, he overheard heeseung talking about your article. how it was going to ruin his track record, or something."

"i mean, i do remember briefly. wonyoung, my chair, said i was allowed to write about the chairs or staff, even if they were filler articles. i wrote about heeseung and jay out of interest, i didn't know their history." you confessed, feeling quite bad about the outcome. "i didn't want my article to end up being gossip or shit talk, i just wrote what i wanted to."

"freedom of the press, am i right?" jeongin laughed, "speaking of the devil." signaling heeseung heading towards your table.

heeseung stood at your table. "yang. l/n." before scooting next to jeongin's side of the booth. you couldn't help but move your eyes between the two. after what sunoo and the boys told you earlier, and jeongin's confirmation that basically people could tell, you sit there in silence.

heeseung clears his throat, "well i'm not seeing much interviewing going on, delegates."

you scoffed at him, "it's none of your business heeseung. we're all delegates, it's lunch break. you don't have to boss around all the time."

"our decelis guidebook strictly confers to not confide in the enemy. and here you are, with the enemy. you know if you spill precious information regarding us we'd be dead?" he scolded you.

a laugh escaped your throat, "the enemy? jeongin is far from the enemy to me. matter of fact, heeseung, you've been more of an enemy to me rather than a secgen."

jeongin whispered, "keep it down y/n, it's okay."

you stood up in anger, "no it's not okay! i've been trying my hardest to do everything i can, i've won consecutively since my first mun at decelis, i've done everything you ask for. i've done nothing but make the decelis name proud, but i just can't happen to make you proud. what do i have to do next? i do everything and all i do is fall at second best. if you hate me so much then kick me off the goddamn team! wouldn't want me tarnishing your precious track record by having a traitor on the team, would you? all this over a stupid article i wrote months ago." you walk away from the table, returning to your room.

heeseung was speechless, the rest of the room was in awe, normally delegates would be able to stay professional. even if there was a break up or something. even wonyoung and minjeong looked at heeseung in anger, meanwhile jake, jay, and sunghoon looked at him in disappointment. jeongin stood up and left the booth, avoiding any more anger out of heeseung. "if i were you, i'd apologize. that girl has done nothing but try to please you and make you proud. start there." jeongin added before leaving.

out of habit, heeseung hung his head low in embarrassment. this was worse than the time you wrote that article about him. as he stood up to confide in the boys for advice, he spots a small leather notepad in the corner of the booth. it was yours. he'd have to find you, face you and give it back. it wouldn't hurt to read a bit of what's inside, right?

running back to your room, you couldn't dare return till next comses. the fact that an entire room full of delegates and chairs had heard you scream at heeseung's face. and returning back to the bed you woke up from this morning, limbs tangled with heeseung, didn't really help.

hiding your face in your bedsheets, tears flowing freely, you couldn't help but smell the familiar cologne he had left behind. the smell stung your nose, and made your eyes water more. the scent that once plagued you, now had lulled you to sleep.

a blurry facade appeared, the sound of heavy noise music remained muffled. your feet were cold on the hotel floor, destination? room 777. you were swaying side to side, but thankfully you were able to hold on to a pillar, which was moving with you.

"we shouldn't have drunk this much, right l/n? i'm not even sure i'm prepped for comses tomorrow morning." the pillar said.

"you have it easy, lee. you don't have to write 4 pieces worth of mandatory articles and observe other council's committee sessions." you replied, a clear slur in your voice.

it, who turned out to be heeseung, laughed, and it was like music to your ears. "i thought you journalists just copy-pasted shit off google or something, didn't get why you'd have to sit in the back of council rooms."

you scoffed at him, "well, as secretary-general, you should've known better. if only you noticed what i've been doing all this time to get your attention, maybe you would've understood."

"you think i haven't been paying attention? i've had my eyes on you ever since you wrote that silly article about me back at decelis mun. 'who's really chairing crisis?' you do know me and jay have been friends since primary, right?" he argued.

"that i know know, lee. the fact that you caused all the fuss over an article that was purely for mun, and had no ill intention is just stupid. i just wanted to be able to express myself." you confessed, feeling underestimated.

he sighed, pressing the up button on the lift, "it's not that i fussed over an article, it's that you wrote about me. i don't see many people brave enough to write about a secretary-general." before he could continue, the doors to the lift dinged and opened, allowing the two of you to walk in.

"i mean," he stuttered, clicking the number seven on the lift's buttons, "you amazed me. i've never met a person who could express themselves so much through their writing. no one paid attention to me enough to write such a critical piece about me."

you smiled at him, "so i'm special? i was the first to write about you, right?" he chuckled at your cheeky comment, "yes you're a first. i wouldn't mind if you kept writing about me."

"but why'd you hate me? i've done so much for decelis to make you proud, but you still have a way to butcher me. i just wanted to impress you." you'd sighed into his chest, the world beginning to spin.

luckily, heeseung had caught you before you fell, right on time as the lift reached the seventh floor. he basically carried you out, trying not to drop you.

"if i hated you so much, i wouldn't be helping you get back to our room, nor would i be making sure you get back safely." he assured you, holding you in his arms.

you groaned in protest, "but you do, don't you? i'm never enough for you, after everything i've done. all the things i did—"

you were shut up by his lips on yours. out of the blue, with no warning signs, he had kissed you. out of habit you kissed him back, lips molding against each other as if you had been waiting for years, as if you couldn't live without each other. all hatred you held against him dissipated. your arms crawling towards the back of his neck to pull him closer, his own pulling on your waist.

he pulled away to take a breath, but you couldn't breathe. he was your oxygen. you connected the two of you together, chasing his lips, his touch, his presence. it was the sweetness, the flavor of love and lust hanging. you’ve been craving his attention, hell, even his touch for months.

but your lungs craved oxygen, forcing you to pull away, hiding your face in his chest. as you were taking in the moment, he chuckled, "i wouldn't have done that if i hated you, would i?"

waking up with a jolt, the memories of last night came rushing in. you thanked yourself that the two of you hadn't fucked, but the idea of kissing him and liking it gave yourself insight. you wondered if heeseung remembered too.

opening your phone and seeing the time, you rushed out of your room as you were late to your next editorial meeting. it being the last committee session of the day, all you had to do was submit your mandatory articles of the day, and you'd be done. running back to your council room, knocking slightly on the door, you rushed back to your seat.

"journalist, you're late. why is that?" shuhua asked, beomgyu beside her, taking notes.

you sat down and composed yourself, "i'm sorry chairs, i slept in during break. it won't happen again."

the chairs nodded at you, letting it pass. the room discussed about how press conferences was, reminding the journalists of the upcoming deadline, but your mind was in the gutter.

you touch your lips, and you feel the lingering taste on your tongue. you were shocked out of your trance with the knocks of the chairs' gavel hitting the sound block. with only an hour left to finish your mandatory article, you begin to type.

social night was an mun tradition. after a full day of committee sessions, all councils, no matter what their council was, it gave a chance for all the delegates to mingle amongst each other.

free from the deadline of your first mandatory article, you had the whole night to party it out before tomorrow, where you had to finish your final mandatory article.

social nights usually had themes, and tonight, harvard model congress' was inspired by bridgerton, along with masquerade masks were in array. you had packed a a black dress, which belonged to your mother. she’d always tell you to save it for a special occasion, a moment you wouldn’t want to forget. and for tonight, as you miss your mom's touch, you wear your dress with pride.

walking to the venue, and right before you could even enter, you’re immediately greeted by wonyoung and minjeong. "oh my god sweets are you okay?" wonyoung asked, holding your face, clear worry in her eyes. "we heard and saw what happened at lunch, good for you to finally confront the bitch." minjeong commented, which earned her, once again, another slap on the arm by wonyoung.

you nodded at the two, holding their hands, "i'm fine, don't worry. i just needed to get it out of my system, that's all."

"to think of it, i haven't seen him since. normally when you pass by the crisis room, you'd hear his voice bouncing off the walls..." wonyoung confessed, "that's very unlike of him."

minjeong scoffs at her comment, "who cares? he's been downplaying y/n's achievements for the past couple months, i wouldn't be able to stay quiet if i were you."

you sighed at the two bickering in front of you, "guys, i just want tonight to be about us. this is harvard model congress for god's sake, i want to make the best out of it. so can we stop the heeseung talk and have some fun? please?"

the two nodded at your request, not pestering you any further. you all walk into the venue, being handed masquerade masks. the venue was decorated to the nines, and it felt like a ball straight out of bridgerton. the three of you were guided to your delegation table, which seated you, the girls, jake, and sunghoon. but heeseung? he was no where to be found.

"where's heeseung? it's not like him to miss out on social night." jake asked you.

you sat down on your assigned seat, and the seat on your right, which was supposed to occupy heeseung, was cold and empty. "why are you asking me? he hates me, remember?"

jake shrugged, "i don't know, i just reckoned that since the two of you are sharing a room, you'd know where he is."

minjeong scoffs, "who cares? y/n got ready at me and wony's room anyways, so no, we don't know where he is."

"jay said earlier today that he's been looking for him. wonder where he went. and if he found him..." sunghoon tells the table, sipping on his glass of water.

stuck in your trance, you were snapped out of it by a screeching of a chair, one, being jay, and the other was right next to you. heeseung. he was in his usual suit and tie, a couple buttons on the top were unbuttoned. you glanced at his tired eyes, hidden underneath the masquerade mask.

"dude? where've you been?" jake asked jay, slapping him on the shoulder.

jay sighed and drank a gulp of his water, "looking for this asshole over here." while pointing at heeseung, "took me a while to find him literally on the rooftop. i swear seoul uni has the most crazy hideouts. i'm not even sure i can even find my way back."

"how'd you find your way there anyways?" sunghoon asked heeseung.

he sighed, "don't know. just, found it." his demeanor slipping away as you begin to see the raw brokenness. you didn't hurt his ego that much, right?

as the clock struck seven, waiters all around the room began laying out the meals. you took a glimpse of the dinner courses in front of you, not really having an appetite for anything. but you still tried to eat, tried not to waste your food, tried to seem okay in front of him.

heeseung, on the other hand, was trying his best not to combust. sitting next to you was hard enough, but the fact you were wearing such a beautiful dress had him awestruck. he also lost his appetite. he couldn't help but stare at you.

after dinner, your friends stood up and ran over to the dance floor, and you were unfortunately dragged along. a remix of many famous hits were played, before you sang your hearts out to iris, by the goo goo dolls. you felt someone tap you on your shoulder, which to your surprise you see jeongin.

"could i have this dance?" he asked, hand out for you to grab, iris still playing in the background.

you nodded and grabbed his hand before you two danced foolishly to iris, heels discarded, his suit as well, just dancing your hearts out. but you had your limits, you were tired and excused yourself to grab some water. before you felt a nudge on your right, as heeseung leaned towards your ear. "can we talk later? don't say no just yet, just follow the green post its."

he walks away, as you look at him in confusion. feeling bad for what you said at lunch, you decide to meet him and see what he has to say.

following the pins of green post-its he left behind, you find yourself at the hidden rooftop jay was talking about at dinner. you open the door to be shocked at the view. the stars twinkling in the night sky. and stood there near the edge, was heeseung.

you broke the silence, clearing your throat, "you wanted to speak to me?"

heeseung looked at you and your dress, his mind going places. "yeah. i did. i'm not expecting an apology. i deserve it."

"but why'd you hate me so much, heeseung?" you whined at him, sick of his jokes.

"the thing is l/n, i don't!" he shouts, walking towards you, "it's not that i hate you, it's that i hate the way you make me feel. i hate the way you're so good at writing, i hate the way you win everything to make me proud, i hate the way you know my weaknesses, i hate the way you never gave up. you're on my mind every fucking day."

you walk up towards him, pulling his suit to pull him down, and him not expecting anything, you slap him across his face.

heeseung immediately pulled back, "ow! what was that for?"

"that was for not telling me about how you felt. you didn't have to bottle it up, you know?" you scoffed.

"and you didn't have to either!" he protested back, pulling out a familiar journal. your journal.

you grabbed it from his hands, "how'd you find this? i didn't even realize it was missing..."

heeseung sighed, "you know for a smart writer like you, you're very forgetful." a smile beginning to emerge.

"what did you read, heeseung? tell me." you asked, afraid that your secrets would spill out.

heeseung walked towards you, "enough to know that you're too stubborn to even tell me the truth. if you'd been feeling this way for months then you should have told me."

you gasped at him, "i would have told you about it if you weren't such a dick all the time? and then you kissing me last night just added more fuel to the fire." not realizing what you said, heeseung cupped your face, which was full of confusion.

"you remember last night?"

you blinked. "everything."

he laughed, "then you'd know i wouldn't hate you as much if i was doing this, would i?"

the familiar taste of his lips returned as he kissed you. you held onto his hands as he caressed your face. the oxygen you once craved had been fulfilled. you strung your arms around his neck, clinging onto him for dear life. you could feel the burst of sparks just surrounding the two of you, a moment you both craved.

the wavering facade between the two finally faded, unleashing the raw desire the two of you had, rushing through your veins.

you pulled away, heeseung leaning his forehead onto yours, before he gave you his best smile. you blushed out of nervousness and proximity the two of you held, not used to this view.

"you still hate me now?" you joked, smiling at him. his eyes softened, before he laughed, and kissing you once more, not wanting to let go. and as the stars glimmered under the night sky, you forgot time ever existed. forget the committee sessions due tomorrow, it was the two of you against the world.

surely, waking up on the final day of the conference would give you a sense of peace, right? wrong. you had spent so much time last night making out and talking with heeseung that you forgot your final mandatory article was due soon. waking up from the bed the two shared, limbs tangled once more, this time, you weren't ashamed.

you kissed heeseung's forehead to wake him up, and despite heeseung's wishes to stay in and make out some more, you declined and got ready.

"can't you just stay? a bit late to the first comses of the day won't hurt your awards." heeseung groaned, asking you to return.

"i was late at yesterday's comses post-lunch, so i think i'm going to be a good girl and come early to this one." you replied, fixing your tie.

heeseung basically stood up and tried to pull you back to bed, "come on, just be my good girl. i promise you will be awarded with all of my kisses in the world."

you shook your head, "missing out on a couple kisses won't be the death of me. come on, you need to prep for comses too."

heeseung moaned in complaint, "no, i'd break my streak for you, i don't care. i just want to stay in with you, away from everybody."

you were able to crawl your way out of his touch, "nope! i'm not letting you lose your streak just over me. come on, get ready. i'm going down for breakfast."

"can i at least have a goodbye kiss before you go?" he pouted, and the way his eyes resembled bambi, you gave in.

you tried to just give him a quick peck, but his touch was so fragile and welcoming, that if you didn't stand your ground, you'd probably be pinned down till the rest of the day. but you didn't want that, so you let go of his touch, assuring him that you'd spend more time with him after the conference.

now, here you were, back in your conference room with a giddy look on your face. you couldn't help but dream of last night. even sunoo, riki, jungwon, along with wonyoung, minjeong, and sunghoon, were even surprised to see you better all of a sudden.

"okay is this some weird process girls do the cope with sadness, cause if so how do we fix her?" sunoo asked, concerned.

wonyoung was staring at you like you were beaming, "it looks like pregnancy glow."

riki basically spit out his coffee, "wait so they actually fucked?"

minjeong snapped at riki, "who fucked?"

"we had speculation that, y/n and heeseung fucked the first night, hence why she was out of it the next day..." jungwon explained to the rest.

sunghoon, the only person out of the group who happened to know heeseung the best, commented that; "no there's no way he fucked her. if they fucked, they wouldn't have been here."

"could you stop speculating that me and heeseung fucked?" you snapped at the group. not out of anger, but annoyed that you couldn't concentrate.

"sorry, but did you?" riki enquired, earning him a riki! from the group around him. "what? i just wanna know."

you sighed, standing up and packing a couple things, "who cares if we fucked or not? just leave us alone." as you head out of the council room, heading to the crisis room for some final details.

contrary to how you first felt when you walked into the room, your heart felt full of hope. that this time, heeseung wouldn't be staring at you with hatred, instead of love. you hoped you wouldn't distract him.

as you walked into the council room, you nodded at chair yeonjun, before taking a seat at the prepared seats for the journalists. you sit down, open your laptop as you're typing your final mandatory article. you tried to glimpse towards heeseung, but you were returned with the same feeling as yesterday. the sharp gaze was back. maybe it's because he's in is element? mun is important to him... you thought, and busied yourself to writing your article. since it was your final committee session, you just had to submit your article and return for the closing editorial meeting. quickly clicking submit, and the chairs deeming the final committee session over, you wanted to sneak a quick kiss before returning for your meeting.

you stood up from your seat and walked towards heeseung. he stood up and saw you, walking your way. instead of being greeted by a hug or a kiss, he brushed past you to talk to his fellow delegates. you felt a pang in your chest, the way heeseung ignored you like that. you thought everything was okay. the kisses you shared, the conversations you had. you looked back at heeseung only to see him busy talking with the other delegates, barely sparing you a glance. you left the room quickly, not looking back.

unbeknownst to you, heeseung saw you leaving, his heart barely surviving after treating you like that. you deserved better than him. he couldn't have it all.

the final editorial meeting of press councils should be a joy to you. no more deadlines, no more press conferences. but you were stuck in your head. repeating the interaction over and over in your head, you didn't understand a single thing.

after the comments and input from both the chairs and the journalists, chair shuhua decided to pull out the gossip box. you'd been informed prior about the gossip box filling at social night, but since you ran off with heeseung to make out the night away, you didn't have time to fill it in.

as shuhua and beomgyu begin to read the entries, earning laughter all around the room, a certain entry snaps you out of your trance.

"oh this is a good one! new york times from press and colombia from crisis actually fit really good together! hope the enemies finally turn into lovers! wait is this about y/n and heeseung?" chair shuhua asks, causing the whole room to look at you.

you looked at everyone strangely, "what? there's nothing."

chair beomgyu shook his head, "no no no, i don't think there's nothing. come on spill the tea, something must've happened the past three days."

everybody was waiting on your response. waiting for you to tell everyone what happened. you just wanted them to shut up. "okay well. we kissed."

the group of six who were pestering you earlier, gasped loudly. earning you a rumble of no shit's, wait actually's, and a loud jinjja?!

you couldn't help but sink back into your seat, still upset about the way he treated you earlier. "yeah, but he's treating me like shit again today, so. that's that."

the entire room aww'ed in disappointment, before the chairs read out a couple more entries, and adjourns the final editorial. you stand up to clean your table, taking out a pen to begin signing each others' placards. signing everybody else's, photo sessions were in array, and after you were finally allowed to have some free time before awarding ceremony.

awarding ceremony was one of those moments where you have hope, but at the same time you don't. you start rethinking choices you made during the conference, wondering if you made the right option. you headed your way to where the press council was sat at, where you met a couple other delegates, even bumping into jeongin, wishing each other a good luck!

you sit down between wonyoung and minjeong, which earned you an endearing hug from the two, assuring your problems with heeseung didn't matter. stuck in your head, you didn't notice the boys' absence in the room. and awarding had begun. the secretary-general of harvard model congress came up and made their speech, thanking all the delegates for participating and giving their best. chairs from other councils begin to come up to give their awards.

meanwhile, outside of the room, was heeseung cornered by jay, jake, and sunghoon.

heeseung, not caught up with the situation, looked at the three with confusion. "what did i do?"

jay scoffed, "what did you do? you managed to fuck it up again? what did i tell you?!" shaking the life out of him.

heeseung shook his head in confusion, not knowing what to do, when sunghoon came up to him, "look man, your little feud with y/n has to stop. i don't get you anymore. i thought you'd be good at this after helping me and wonyoung get together..."

"nah dude you're in denial. what do you mean you two basically confessed to not hating each other and then made out a bunch of times, only for you to leave her and ignore her like so? that's crazy." jake protested. that was the truth.

"i don't know what to tell you, but me and jake have got to get back for unsc awarding, but please think about it? i know you feel scared of this whole love thing, but i assure you, it's okay to feel this way." jay says, leaving with jake, which left sunghoon with heeseung alone.

heeseung didn't know what to do. for the first time in his life, everything was out of his control. he craved you and needed you, but he felt like he didn't deserve you. it was as if a crisis was happening in his own mind.

as he hears the cheers of the room with every award that is given out, his heart races. he hears the announcement where jay and jake both won best delegates, which they had been double delegating in.

sunghoon kept trying to comfort heeseung, not knowing what to say to him. "look, i may not understand the way your mind works, but i assure you that you deserve her. you've put yourself through it all for decelis, and the track record that we have wouldn't have been what it is now if it wasn't for you. i don't know what plan you're cooking up, but whatever it is, win her back." heeseung looks at sunghoon with sheer nervousness in his eyes. "press and crisis are left, so whatever you want to do? do it now. before its too late."

leaving heeseung alone outside the room, sunghoon walks back in, returning to where the press journalists sat. he saw you picking on your nails out of habit, nervous for the next awards. as your chairs walk up to the podium, sunghoon just hopes heeseung would do something.

as names begin getting called out, sunoo winning best pre-conference video, then riki and jungwon winning verbal commendations, wonyoung and minjeong winning honorable mentions, you held on tight to the tiny string of hope left. it was probably between you and sunghoon left. as you look around the room, heeseung is still nowhere to be found. you had hoped that maybe with this win, you'd make him proud once and for all.

"the final two journalists were a tight match. these two shown impeccable talent in their articles and presence the past three days." shuhua announces. "it is with our great pleasure that the most outstanding journalist goes to, park sunghoon!"

wonyoung, who was on the stage prior, basically screams in joy. you high five sunghoon before he winks at you, knowing you'd win best journalist. but a part of you still thinks you won't.

beomgyu gives sunghoon his award, before adjusting his mic. "this final journalist has pure talent in her writing, and have awestruck the both of us with her work. without further ado, we would like to present that the best journalist award goes to none other than... l/n y/n!"

relief. that's all what washes towards you. yes you've heard your name and the words best journalist go along too often, but every time it happens, it always feels euphoric. as you walk up the stage to receive your award, earning smiles from the other awardees, you couldn't help but look to the crowd.

you see jay and jake basically jumping up and down in joy, but heeseung was still nowhere to be found. a pang of disappointment burns in your chest as you walk down the podium with your certificate in hand. an array of congratulations! are heard, as you sit back down for the final awarding. crisis.

zoning out, after feeling the euphoria of your win, your mind drifts off to heeseung. how would he feel? was he proud?

as chair yeonjun announces the awardees, you are cut out of your trance with every round of applause. you see jeongin win most outstanding, and you cheer for him.

as yeonjun clears his throat for the final award, he begins his speech. "this final award goes to a delegate who really deserves it all. although this mun may have not been his best run, he deserves so much more than the title: prodigy. i'd like to present this best delegate award to none other than... you know what? lee heeseung get up here, get your award, and get your girl!"

with pure shock, you watch as heeseung bursts through the doors, run up to the podium, quickly shake his chairs' hands, grabs his certificate, and runs down. and he's running to you.

he drops his certificate on the floor, before engulfing you in the biggest hug he's ever given in his life. spinning you around, you squeal in excitement. he whispers in your ear an array of i'm so proud of you's, before putting you down, and kissing you in front of everyone.

you cling onto him, parting your lips allowing him to kiss you deeper and deeper, and the feeling of sparks flying around you made it feel like it would last forever. your ears muffle all the cheers surrounding you, only focusing on heeseung, and heeseung only.

he puts you down and rests his forehead on yours, exactly like how he did on the rooftop the night before. "how'd you pull this off?" you ask him, still on cloud nine.

"eh, had some help from chair yeonjun. didn't expect the bestdel though." heeseung laughs, holding you by the waist, tighter, and tighter.

you held his face closer, wanting to feel his touch, "why'd you do that? why'd you run?"

"y/n. i love you. i never knew how to say it all this time, because it's a feeling unlike any other. to the point it made me feel as if my life was in crisis. but that's when i realized i never had it all. not until i found you."

taglist; @riekiss @sesameoil721 @desistay @capri-cuntz @beomluvrr @shawnyle @tya0 @heexoolio @sunghoonsgff @spiderhanzzz (crossed out = i can't tag you)

back to my masterlist?

© 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐇𝐄𝐄, est. 2024 | do not plagiarize, modify, translate, or repost my works on any platforms.

cold hands - psh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis. plot plot plot what is a plot when you can just have vibes and a vague narrative direction... if you MUST know you go to your brother's hockey team back-to-uni party accidentally matching one of the members with your cowgirl barbie costume. hopelessly romantic sunghoon sees this as a sign that the two of you are meant to be together, but you're impossible to read and soon the two of you settle on an ambiguous secret friends with benefits relationship. unfortunately, conflict ensues.

genre. strangers to friends to fwb to lovers..?? its not an asahicore fic if it doesnt have fluff angst AND smut, brothers best friend, jock x nerd type vibe, slight miscommunication put your pitchforks away and hear me out pls it works out i promise, reader has ISSUES 💜 loser loverboy sunghoon, its mostly in his pov, i know nothing about ice hockey

word count. 39.5k 😂

a/n. inspired by @moonlighthoon's request for the 1k trope event! sorry it took ages to write but i hope you like it and that i met ur expectations!!!! hope everyone else enjoys it too, this is the longest fic ive ever written and im quite proud of it, pls pls pls let me know what u thought <333 shoutout to @zreamy .. good luck with your studies, thank u for beta reading and making this fic exponentially better as u always do ⭐️ credit to @/plutism for the dividers :)

Some men never think of it. You did. You’d come along And say you’d nearly brought me flowers But something had gone wrong.

The shop was closed. Or you had doubts - The sort that minds like ours Dream up incessantly. You thought I might not want your flowers.

It made me smile and hug you then. Now I can only smile. But, look, the flowers you nearly brought Have lasted all this while. - Wendy Cope, Flowers

When Sunghoon falls in love, it usually goes as quickly as it came.

Just to name a few:

There had been Ahn Yujin, whose family had moved next to his when he was twelve, and whose dog got on perfectly with his. His crush on the cute girl next door grew with every walk the four of them took but disappeared the second she ditched him to walk home from school with Na Jaemin. 

A few years later, there had been Bae Sumin, who sat in front of him and always had her hair up in a ponytail he found exceedingly pretty. An appointment at the hairdresser was enough for him to stop liking her, as if his interest in her had been laying in the ten centimeters of hair she had cut off. 

In his junior year of high school, there had been Kim Yerim, a college student that tutored him in Math and English. She was three years older, but that didn’t deter him—what did was the fact that she was dating a college graduate. She showed him a picture once, and the guy had biceps probably twice the size of Sunghoon’s. He thought it was safer to give up on her than to fight such a bulky guy five years his senior. 

The first time it stuck was during his first year of college. She was his coach’s daughter and he liked the way she would smile at him when she came to watch their practice. Sunghoon didn’t like to think about her, mainly because even after she broke his heart, for a while there, he continued to love her. 

So, when he first spots you from across the room at the Welcome Back costume party thrown by his hockey team, unintentionally the Cowboy Barbie to his Cowboy Ken, he tries not to read too much into it. Barbie was a hit this summer, it’s an easy and topical costume, of course there’s a pretty girl wearing the same bright pink cowboy hat he is. It doesn’t mean she’s the love of his life.

Right?

He knows you from the pictures that littered the walls of Minjeong, Yunjin and Chaewon’s apartment last year, from Instagram posts, both yours and your friends’, from your video calls with Jake, who dragged him into the camera’s view. Say hi to my sister, he’d insist, like Sunghoon was a child who didn’t want to greet his great-great-aunt. He’d dip in to say hi as requested, ask how you were, and mumble me too like a fool when you said you heard so much about him and were excited to meet him in real life. 

These are the things Sunghoon knows about you: Jake’s older sister by a year, currently on a year abroad in Rome, studies something fancy like Classics, which he hadn’t known people still did in the twenty-first century, deep attachment to Stardew Valley in first year, rarely seen with the same man twice, very pretty. Absurdly so. He’s also weirdly obsessed over the texts you’ve sent to the group chat he was added to at the beginning of last year—scarce, short, elusive. Never more than two sentences, and always long after the conversation was over. But sometimes you’d send photos and videos out of nowhere, of your adventures or of funny things you saw online, and he always hearted them. He even replied to it sometimes (brave hahas or that’s so cool!s), in hopes that it would make you like him, would make you think, he gets me. 

The two of you have never formally yet because you left for Italy the year he started university. He’s been nervous about meeting you since the first time the group told him about you. 

Now that he is about to, he can hear his heart thumping so loudly in his ears, it drowns out the bass of the music. He’s glad he gets to see you before having to talk to you—he’s not sure he could take in your presence and form coherent words at the same time. He watches you laugh with your friends, the smile lines that form like dimples around your mouth, the strands of hair you keep tucking behind your ear. Then someone joins your group—except it’s not just someone, it’s Minjeong, her denim jacket so often worn he recognises her from the back, and he realizes the people you’re with have been Chaewon and Yunjin this whole time. The three of them have been banging on about you all year, even more so due to the fact that their replacement flatmate was dreadful, a Spanish girl who only hung out with other Spanish exchange students and looked the girls up and down when they tried to invite her out somewhere.

You turn towards Minjeong, and before he knows it, he’s in your line of sight, and your eyes meet. Confusion, then a flash of recognition goes through your eyes. He had been resting his elbow on a countertop, cider bottle in hand and watching you, he realizes, not unlike a creep, but now he stands up straight and looks around him as if you hadn’t just caught him staring. Before he can find a way out, Jake appears by his side and throws an arm around his shoulders, guiding him into the throng of party-goers and, coincidentally, closer to you.

“Dude, you’ll never guess what.”

“What?” Sunghoon says, tone coming out more irritated than he means it to. He’s just had to give up on making a good first impression on you, and he doesn’t even have the time to think of a way to redeem himself. When he dares to look back at you, your eyes are already on him, a small smile on your lips. You probably hate him already.

“My sister is dressed just like you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you guys came together or something. Hey, guys!” Jake calls out, and all of a sudden, it’s not just your eyes on him, it’s everyone’s. Well, to be fair, they’re also looking at Jake. But you’re only looking at Sunghoon, and he can’t look away from you either, can’t even manage the politeness to hug everyone in greeting like Jake is doing now. He watches as your eyes rake over his figure, taking him in, assessing him, and he suddenly feels awkward in his costume that matches yours, like he’s somehow overstepped a boundary, like you might think he’s asked around about your costume, found out you were going as Barbie and decided to match you so you’d think the two of you were meant together, like he had two minutes ago, and come to the fairly reasonable decision that he was the weirdest man on Earth. But then you meet his eyes, smile a kind, genuine smile, and his whole body relaxes. 

“Hey, Hoon!” Chaewon calls, arms open wide. He remembers himself and hugs everyone, even you, and he has to pretend like this is completely fine and normal, like his hands aren’t practically shaking as his arms circle your shoulders in a two-second embrace. 

You squeeze one of his shoulders, and keeping his countenance is a Herculean task. He feels like those people centuries ago who passed out at the sight of a lady’s ankle. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, peering at him over the rim of your red cup. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Sunghoon feels the blush growing on his face; he wasn’t expecting so much of your attention so quickly. He takes a swig of his lukewarm cider, hoping if he seems drunk, it might explain his redness. “Good things, I hope,” he says, aware of the unoriginality but unable to come up with anything better.

“Oh, don’t worry, they’ve made you out to be a saint.” You’ve not once broken eye contact or stopped smiling—it should intimidate him, but instead, it makes Sunghoon feel like you’ve known each other for ages and that this isn’t your first conversation at all. He finds himself able to relax into a smile, and manages to meet your eyes for more than three seconds at a time.

“You don’t believe them?”

You pause, gaze zeroing in on him even more intensely than previously, smile turning smirk-like. Sunghoon’s heart skips a beat. Okay, maybe he’s not that relaxed. “I don’t know you well enough to make up my mind yet. But we’ll be seeing plenty of each other from now on, won’t we?”

This is exactly what Sunghoon has been warned about. You at parties, the way you look at guys, the way you talk to them. Sunghoon has been the audience of more than one recreation of such a scene, Yunjin pretending to be you, Chaewon pretending to be your “victim,” as the others liked to call them. Because once you had set your eyes on a man, he had little chance of making it out. Jay prides himself as being the only survivor, although he has to admit it’s only because Jake interrupted your conversation, telling him, “I see you’ve met my sister.” And Jay was not the kind of person that got off with their friends’ siblings, especially since his and Jake’s friendship was only a week long at that point, and he didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere in their dorm for the rest of the year just because his dick had gotten the best of him. His words. Whenever they were all hanging out together and they called you, one of the girls would inevitably ask if you had “turned any Italian boys into men” or if you had been “terrorizing the good men of Rome recently.” You would either roll your eyes or say this was not a conversation to be had in front of your brother.

Sunghoon had been sure they were exaggerating—it takes two to tango, as they say, and it wasn’t like you ensnared innocent men into your trap. They had to be willing, to want something from you just as much as you wanted something from them. He’d also gotten them to admit it wasn’t that frequent, that you weren’t looking for a new prey every party, just once in a while when you found someone you liked. (He’d been very quiet when Jay asked why he was trying so hard to defend you.)

But now that he is on the receiving end of your alluring smiles, he starts to understand how one could fall for you without meaning to. He knows he can’t — Jake probably wouldn’t take to it kindly, and he didn’t want to spoil the dynamic of his best group of friends at uni — but he has a feeling that ten minutes of talking to you would be enough to shake his resolve.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure we will. Jake said you studied a lot, but I’m sure we’ll get to hang out. All of us, I mean,” he quickly adds, lest you think he’s already asking you to hang out one-on-one. Sunghoon would not be that forward.

“Of course. I have to see if you did a good enough job replacing me for a year.” Sunghoon’s eyes widen, and before he can blurt out something weirdly laudatory like “I could never replace you, I would never even try, I don’t know you but you’re clearly far superior to me in every aspect and I could never even claim to fill your spot,” you giggle and tell him it’s just a joke. “If anything, I’m happy Jake has managed to make a new friend that he didn’t meet through me, that loser,” you say, and together, you laugh at Jake’s loserness, a topic that will never fail to amuse Sunghoon, although he’s not faring much better in that department. 

“Like, look at him right now,” you say, jerking your head in Jake’s general direction, somewhere behind Sunghoon’s shoulder—and that’s when he realizes that it’s just the two of you standing there, the others gone without him even noticing. Sunghoon turns around, finding the girls, Jay, and a bunch of other people he vaguely recognizes huddled around Jake. They all start chanting his name as he gulps down a giant red cup of beer, then raises the empty cup over his head in victory and crumples it, beaming at the people around him. 

“What is he doing?” Sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend.

“Jay called him over for a beer-off,” you explain. After a beat, you ask, “You didn’t notice?”

The implications are clear in your tone and in your eyes. In the smile playing on your lips, just shy of being a smirk. You didn’t notice because of me, is what you’re really telling Sunghoon—at least, that’s the impression he’s getting. And you’d be right. He was too busy talking to you and trying his best not to make a fool of himself to notice his friends leaving, too engrossed with you to register the sudden disappearance of four people. Across the room, where people have shifted their attention to yet another hockey player downing a sizable amount of beer, he catches Chaewon’s eyes, and she winks at him. Of course—leave it to Chaewon, to whom Sunghoon once made the mistake of drunkenly rambling about how pretty you looked in your Instagram posts last year, to give you and Sunghoon some time alone, “to get to know each other properly,” she would probably say. Although he isn’t sure that small talk over 2000s music counts as getting to know someone. According to the others, she and Yunjin started dating a month into their second year, so Chaewon has proclaimed herself as the goddess of dating and is now always trying to set people up. Sunghoon thinks she’s just living vicariously through her friends now that she has a Mrs. at home.

Because the filter usually at work between the part of Sunghoon’s brain where sentences are formed and his mouth is apparently on leave today, he says, “I do have a pretty distracting sight in front of me.” He’s immediately both mortified and impressed by this sudden bout of confidence, but then you look down and giggle, actually giggle, the sweetest sound he’s ever heard, and only pride remains. 

“So, Ken?” you ask, a cute attempt to change the subject, taking the fabric of the pink bandana around his neck between your fingers. Sunghoon wonders if you’re going to yank him down to your level, and he thinks he wouldn’t have much of a problem with that. 

He realizes that even though you should technically know each other’s names, you haven’t actually exchanged them, so in a confused but correcting tone, he says, “Um, Sunghoon.” He only belatedly realizes that you hadn’t gotten his name wrong, you were just making a comment on his costume, which he had completely forgotten he was wearing in the first place. Just as he’s about to backtrack and salvage what he can of the situation, you burst into laughter, hand leaving his bandana to cover your mouth as he hides his face behind his own hands, laughing along with you despite himself. 

“I know your name is Sunghoon!” you exclaim. The gratification of hearing you say his name takes away some of his embarrassment. “I’m Y/N, by the way. Not Barbie.”

Sunghoon nods. “Good to know.”

The laughter gradually dies down, but your smile stays the same; wide, bright, a smile that exposes your teeth and turns your eyes into crescents. Sunghoon can’t look away. He’s awash with nerves, your gaze simultaneously planting his feet to the ground like they’re full of lead and making him light-headed. His heart is beating so fast, he can barely feel it anymore. 

The two of you stand there, looking and smiling at each other, like in a cliché movie scene where everyone else at the party seems to fade into the background. He has no idea how much time has passed when you break the silence. “It really is nice to finally meet you,” you say, repeating your statement from earlier, as though you mean it more now. 

“It is,” Sunghoon simply replies, because he doesn’t know how else to express the relief of seeing you in the flesh after hearing about you and looking at a digital version of you for a year. The relief, but also the anticipation of what is to come now that he knows he likes you even more now that he’s actually seen you. And improbable as it sounds, you might even feel the same.

Sunghoon can already feel it. The beginning of something.

You nod towards his now empty cup. “Want a refill?”

Together, you make your way through the crowd of increasingly drunk students until you reach the kitchen, where the countertops overflow with open bottles of liquor of all sorts and paper plates with half-eaten pizza slices on them. He watches your every move as you find a cold bottle of beer in the fridge, a bottle of strawberry syrup in a random cupboard that you had to know was there, and a half-empty discarded bottle of lemonade on the counter. You ask him to tell you about last year, everything you missed out on, and so he does. He knows you’ve probably heard it all from the others before, but you still laugh and gasp like it’s the first time you’re hearing about any of it, all the hockey games they won, Jay getting food poisoning from the sketchy pizzeria he kept eating at, Yunjin almost getting into a fistfight with a man twice her size who was flirting with Chaewon. 

You assemble two drinks and hand him one of them. When he takes a sip, his eyes widen at the refreshing and sweet taste. “Good, right?” you say. “I discovered it on a trip to France last summer.”

“Thank God for France. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever enjoyed drinking beer,” he says.

“That’s probably because you can’t taste the beer at all.”

Sunghoon smiles. “Probably, yeah.”

You turn around, lower back against the counter, and take in the current kitchen population. “We really weren’t very original with our costumes tonight.” Sunghoon, who had not taken his eyes off of you this entire time, follows your gaze. He counts five partygoers dressed in some version of Barbie or Ken, and that’s just the kitchen. He doesn’t blame them—the fact that so many people came dressed in costumes at all impresses him, especially for a party on the 10th of September and not the 31st of October. The social committee of the hockey team just seems to really love themed and dress-up parties.

He chuckles, then takes a sip of his drink. It’s really nice. “Yeah, but we look the best.”

Your head whips towards him, eyes glinting with something that makes Sunghoon smile, even though he doesn’t know what you’re thinking. “Should we enter the couple’s costume contest?” you ask.

At the mention of couple, his eyes widen, his brain tricking him into thinking you’ve asked him out for a second. But when what you actually meant dawns on him, the first thing to come out of his mouth is, “There’s a couple’s costume contest?!”

“Mh-hm. The sign-up sheet should be around here.” 

For what feels like the millionth time since he’s started talking to you, his face heats up. “Are non-couples allowed to enter?”

“We’re Barbie and Ken. I’d say that’s enough of a couple, don’t you think?” 

Right. Because he had been thinking of Sunghoon and Y/N, while you obviously meant Barbie and Ken. In the contest, it doesn’t actually matter whether the contestants are dating in real life—it matters that their costumes match. Sunghoon knows that. He just needed a second.

He grins, deep dimples punctuating his cheeks. “Okay, let’s do it.”

Armed with your drinks, you walk around the kitchen in search of the sign-up sheet. You find it on a wall next to the dining table, which has been turned into a beer pong table for tonight’s festivities, and the sheet is almost filled with names already. Sunghoon can only hope that by midnight, when the contest is set to take place, most participants will have had too much to drink to remember it. You write your names on the list, and Sunghoon likes seeing his name in your handwriting so much he almost wants to take a picture.

“There you guys are!”

You both turn around to find Jake stumbling towards you, clearly more intoxicated than when he had left you half-an-hour ago. He rests his arms on your shoulders, forcing Sunghoon down to his height and making you stumble forwards from the sudden added weight. “I’ve been looking all over for you- You’re entering the contest?!”

For a split second, Sunghoon is scared he’s going to get scolded by Jake for trying to hit on his sister, but surprisingly, it’s you he narrows his eyes at. “Y/N, what are you roping my little Hoonie into?”

Sunghoon groans, face perpetually red at this point. Leave it to Jake to make him seem like a total loser. 

You frown at your brother. “I’m not roping your little Hoonie into anything.” Sunghoon wants to bury himself alive. “We agreed on doing it together. Right?” you ask, turning towards Sunghoon and batting your eyelashes at him. It makes him feel a bit better.

He turns back to Jake. “Right. We’re just joining forces to crush the competition.”

Jake scoffs. “As if.” He snatches the pen from your hands and underlines his name as well as Kazuha’s, the girl he came with tonight, three thick black lines that almost erases the names underneath them. “You can’t beat the hockey player and cheerleader combo.”

“Those aren’t even costumes, you guys are a hockey player and a cheerleader,” you protest.

“So?” Jake simply retorts, more attitude in his tone than he would have were he sober.

“So, that defeats the whole purpose of a costume contest.”

Jake knocks on your cowboy hat, and you immediately put it back in place, glaring at him. “As if Barbie was the greatest costume ever. Whatever, let’s just play beer pong so I can defeat you guys twice in one night.”

“You’re on, Sim.”

“You’re going down, Sim.”

Sunghoon had just been watching your back-and-forth amusedly when you grab his hand, leading him to the side of the table opposite Jake. His fingers tingle under your touch, but just like that, it’s gone. He’d rather keep on holding your hand than play this stupid game, but he isn’t opposed to taking Jake’s ego down a notch, either. The boy can barely stand straight, anyway, so it probably won’t be a very tough match.

Some guy he doesn’t recognize in a striped black-and-white referee t-shirt fills most cups with beer and a couple on each side with shots of vodka—he’s so earnest, Sunghoon isn’t sure whether he’s just taking his costume-slash-role very seriously or if he has genuinely been hired to look over the beer pong matches of the night. Some order in the brutish world of college parties, Sunghoon guesses.

Minjeong, Yunjin, Chaewon and Jay appear then, exchanging a quick look at the sight of you and Sunghoon together. The two former join your team, while the two latter join Jake’s, as well as other people that Sunghoon vaguely recognizes from other parties. But by the simple action of getting behind him, they become his most trusted allies for at least this part of the night.

You’re a terrible shot, but Sunghoon makes up for it by scoring almost every round. In his defense, he only misses when you come up close to him and whisper in his ear which cup he should go for. Your breath tickles his (oddly sensitive) ears and the combined scents of the strawberry and lemonade on your tongue and your delicate perfume make his head spin. He can barely think straight, so his aim is naturally thrown off—other than that, he makes Jay drink a healthy amount of beer. He almost feels bad for his friend, but he’d arrived late at the party and needed to quickly catch up with everyone’s level of ebriety anyway.

When the opposite team is down to their last cup, a lightning bolt of luck strikes you, and your ball disappears straight into the vodka-filled cup that Jake now has the honor of downing. 

Sunghoon gives you no time to celebrate, to gloatingly pump your fists in the air and point a mocking finger at your brother, because as soon as you make the shot, he wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you off the ground. When you’re on your feet again, you spin around to find a proud-looking Sunghoon beaming down at you. You burst into giggles and high-five him, your palms perfectly clapping against each other, and he threads your fingers together. A current of electricity rushes through him, and for a second, he swears it’s just the two of you in this packed room.

The moment is cut short by the loud cheers of the others on your team as they shake your shoulders and raise their hands for you to high-five them too. Minjeong flips the other team off and Yunjin has to go hug Chaewon and reassure her it’s nothing personal. It’s really quite easy to make college students happy—or devastated. 

You raise your eyebrows at Jake, who’s busy glaring at you instead of accepting his defeat and taking his shot. With a begrudging sigh, he tips his head back and drinks the vodka in one gulp, the cheers doubling in volume when his face scrunches at the bitter taste of the liquor.

“Don’t act so proud,” he scolds you. “Sunghoon carried your team.”

“Maybe, but she made us win in the end,” Sunghoon retorts, putting an arm around your shoulder. 

Jake scoffs, frowning at Sunghoon’s hand placement before eye-rolling his gaze away. “Whatever.” He slides his phone out of his back pocket and smiles as he shows the two of you his screen. “Would you look at the time? The contest is starting soon.” Then, with an accusatory finger pointed at you, adds, “You may have won this battle, but I’m winning the war.”

He stomps away, presumably to find Kazuha before the contest starts, and it’s your turn to eye-roll at his dramatics. You grab Sunghoon’s hand that hangs off of your shoulders, and together, make your way through the crowd again to the garage, where the contest is taking place. All the alcohol he’s been drinking has definitely started kicking in by now, and he finds himself giggling at nothing with you.

When you reach the threshold, still hand in hand, Sunghoon stops so abruptly behind you that you almost stumble. You look back at him, then follow his gaze towards the garage and the sheer amount of people in there. Worriedly, his eyes take in every single one of the contenders. You let go of his hand and stand in front of him, placing your hands on his shoulders and putting on a determined expression. You’d almost look like a parent reassuring their kid before their first day of kindergarten if you weren’t so much shorter than him. “Don’t even worry about them, Sunghoon. We look better than anyone here.”

His eyebrows crease. “There’s like, three other Barbie-Ken couples here. Some of these costumes are so original. And do you see their makeup? Is that even possible?” he asks, staring at a couple in scarily realistic cosplay of Simon and Jeanette from Alvin and the Chipmunks, fur and all. He can’t look at them for too long without getting chills.

You shake your head. “Almost everyone here is either a hockey player or a… hockey-affiliated person. You’re the beloved and talented defenseman of the team and I’m the star player’s sister. They’ll love us,” you say with a smile, watching the worry dissipate from his features.

“We’re like nepo babies,” he whispers. His lips break into a grin when your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I don’t know how nepotism works,” he admits, smiling wider when you burst into laughter. “How do you know if I’m talented, anyway? You haven’t seen me play yet.”

Your eyes rake him up and down appreciatively. “I took a wild guess.”

Not unlike a cartoon character, Sunghoon audibly gulps. As a hockey player since his most tender age, and dare he say, a pretty good-looking guy, he is used to girls flirting with him, and he is even hit sometimes by the occasional lightning strike of confidence that allows him to flirt back (he still can’t believe he managed to call you “a distracting sight” without spontaneously combusting). But there’s something in your eyes, in your smile, in the way you talk—something about you that has his breath hitching and his heart racing. He doesn’t know if he wants to run away and hide in a corner or kiss you right then and there.

Heeseung, the captain of the hockey team, announces into a microphone (which Sunghoon wonders where they got the money for) that the contest will start now, so he can neither kiss you nor run away. Instead, he follows you to the side of the room where all the contestants, including Jake and Kazuha, wait for their names to be called out. There are so many participants, it takes way longer than Sunghoon would like for the two of you to step onto the makeshift stage. Judging by the looks on the audience’s faces, everyone is surprised to see you and Sunghoon together—the hockey community at your university may be big, but everyone knows everyone, and gossip travels fast. No one had seen you and Sunghoon together before, for the obvious reason that you hadn’t even met before tonight. But you could be sure that by tomorrow, as silly as it sounds, word will have gone around that you and Sunghoon had participated in a couple costume contest together. 

At least, you give them something of substance to talk about—as you and Sunghoon pose on stage, wearing your brightest smiles to please the crowd, you stand on your toes and press a kiss to Sunghoon’s cheek. Sunghoon’s eyes burn a hole in the side of your face but you just watch as the audience of drunken 20-somethings goes wild over something as simple as a peck on the cheek. Jake is the only one booing. 

Sunghoon is still in shock when the next couple is called forward and you have to step off. His cheeks are redder than before and he can’t quite meet your eyes. Apparently, he also goes wild over something as simple as a peck on the cheek. You nudge his shoulder. “See, I told you they’d like us.” 

He feels like a fourteen-year-old for it, but Sunghoon can’t stop thinking about your soft lips against his cheek, so much so that he barely says a word as the three judges deliberate. If you notice the sudden change in his behavior, you don’t comment on it, perhaps chalking it up to nerves. He’s glad for it—he doesn’t know if he could handle being teased about it, especially from you. Although he’s not sure he wants you to think he’s the kind to stress over a last-minute Halloween costume contest. 

In the end, you don’t win. He suspects it was a rigged contest all along: the couple in the unimpressive Edward and Bella costume are friends with one of the judges, probably leading to their anticlimactic victory. At least it isn’t Simon and Jeannette who win, or Kazuha and Jake, even less original than the winners. Anyway, Sunghoon couldn’t care any less. With your hand in his as you walk back to the main room in search of your other friends, he feels like the biggest victor of the night. He doesn’t even mind it when his teammates tease him about his costume and how good the two of you look together—the smile you shoot him makes putting up with it worth it. He tries to think straight, but between the alcohol and your proximity, he feels like you’ve cast a spell on him.

Jake stumbles into your group, three drinks drunker than when Sunghoon last saw him, enthusiastically reporting that a game of spin the bottle is about to start in one of the rooms upstairs, because what every college party needs is a middle-school game to shake things up. None of the guys seem particularly interested until Jake reveals that the cheerleaders are playing. 

Sunghoon looks down at you, laughing when he sees your mildly disgusted moue. “Don’t feel like playing?”

“Not really, no.” Your eyes linger on his face. “There’s only one person here I want to kiss, anyway.”

All capacity for thought leaves Sunghoon’s brain. He just stares back at you blankly, lips slightly agape, willing himself to say something but also terrified that whatever leaves his mouth might make him seem like the biggest loser ever. 

You couldn’t possibly mean him—but did you? Was he the person you wanted to kiss?

As these questions resound through his head, your gaze drops to his lips. There’s his answer. 

His heart beating wildly in its cage, Sunghoon decides to do one smart thing tonight and leans in, slowly but surely closing the gap between the two of you. Then a sudden vibration in the back pocket of his jeans zaps through him like lightning and he jumps back, as if startled out of the trance you had put him in. Shame flooding his cheeks, he checks his phone; it’s the stupid alarm he set himself earlier to make sure he doesn’t get home too late. Midnight, Cinderella-style. 

You scratch the back of your neck as your eyes dart around the room. For the first time tonight, you look embarrassed—Sunghoon is in disbelief at how pretty you look even then. “I, um,” he starts, clears his throat. “I have this thing tomorrow morning, so I can’t stay too long…” he says guiltily.

He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he swears that what he sees on your face is disappointment. It makes him want to take it all back, to stay here with you for as long as you want and forget about tomorrow morning. 

“Oh, right,” you say, nodding. “That’s fine. What thing?”

“Oh.” Sunghoon turns an impossibly deeper shade of red, further resembling the strawberry syrup the more he gets himself in these embarrassing situations with you. “Just… choir. I go to choir on Saturday mornings.” He looks down at his feet like he’s just revealed a secret, shameful part of himself.

You burst into laughter, and Sunghoon is scared for a second that you’re making fun of him, and his feelings are a lot more hurt than they should be by someone he just met. Although, to be fair, you don’t feel like someone he just met.

“That’s so cool! It must be such a nice change from all the dudes on the hockey team,” you say, a sweet, curious smile on your lips. Like you mean what you say. Like you might want to know more.

Sunghoon thinks he just fell in love.

He chuckles. “Yeah. Definitely a nice change. As much as I love hockey, it’s nice to do something calmer, you know. And I like singing. And the cakes the local grandmas bring.”

“So that’s what it’s all about, really.”

“Yep, you caught me.” Sunghoon still feels the almost-kiss lingering, a tension between the two of you that has him on edge. He feels like he’s just missed his bus because it left a minute earlier than planned. The opportunity is gone, and he would definitely mess everything up, trying to kiss you now. So instead, he decides to leave. Whatever must happen, will happen, even if it’s not tonight. You have the same friends—this is definitely not the last time you will see each other. “Well, I should probably head. I have to be up at eight tomorrow.”

“Oh, wow. The choir grandmas don’t play around.”

“They really don’t.”

“Well, see you around then,” you say, a clumsy laugh falling from your lips as you wrap your arms around Sunghoon’s neck, bringing him into a tight but short hug. You also smell good, he notes to himself. Of course you do.

“See you, Y/N.” Just as he’s about to turn away, you wrap your hand around his wrist.

“Wait. Sunghoon?” He’s only half-surprised at the immense relief he feels to hear his name on your lips. Like you, too, didn’t want to part with him just yet.

“Yeah?” he says, wishing the hope and anticipation aren’t too obvious on his face.

“Where’s that choir of yours?”

--

When Sunghoon arrives at his neighborhood’s community center, ten minutes before nine a.m., you’re already there. Despite the seven hours of sleep under his belt, he feels like he could’ve done with three more, and the singular cup of instant black coffee he had for breakfast was both atrocious and useless. But your smile has the restorative effect of two Red Bulls and a power nap. You look surprisingly bright, like you either managed to get a very good night’s sleep or are just the biggest morning person to ever exist.

He hugs you when he reaches you on the sidewalk, tighter than he probably should, but you return it. You smell like fresh soap and sugar. The two of you exchange quick greetings before he leads you inside the center. 

“I made some cookies as well.” You point to your tote bag and Sunghoon’s jaw slackens.

“You had time to bake?” 

“Kazuha made me take Jägerbombs, so I felt crazy when I got home. I thought it wouldn’t be fair on the old ladies if they did all the work.”

Sunghoon laughs. “They’re going to love you.”

You follow Sunghoon up two flights of stairs and into a spacious room with a wooden stage. There’s a snacks table on one side of the room that is almost fully decked with plates and tupperwares of all sorts, and although their contents remain covered by tin foil or lids, the coffee and hot water pots are free to use. Most of the chairs are stacked on each side of the room but a few have been put in the middle, the grandmas sitting and chatting there waving at Sunghoon as the two of you walk in. There are about fifteen people in the room so far, most of them older ladies, but not only. There’s a dad that came with his daughter, a couple of teenagers, and a few other adults. It’s quite an eclectic mix, and Sunghoon loves it.

Minjeong is here, too, which Sunghoon realizes he forgot to say until he sees the sheer confusion of finding someone you know in an unexpected place on both of your faces. She walks towards you, suspicious eyes darting between you two.

“Hey,” she says only to Sunghoon before turning to you, arms crossed over her chest. “And what are you doing here?”

“Hi, Minjeong, so nice to see you too!”

“I invited Y/N,” Sunghoon says quickly, although you did technically invite yourself. For some reason, he feels the need to defend you, even though he knows you and Minjeong have been friends for years now, and Minjeong is just always this blunt.

“I didn’t know this was the choir you went to,” you say to Minjeong.

“Oh, this?” She looks around the room. “It’s only the choir I’ve been going to since I was a kid. You’d know that if today wasn’t the first day you showed interest in it, ever.”

“I came to your concerts!”

One of the old ladies calls Sunghoon’s name from the snack table, and he is glad for the diversion. “Right. I’ll let you guys talk this out.” A hand on your shoulder, he smiles down at you. “I’m gonna say hi to the ladies over there. Be back in a minute.” He shoots Minjeong a look as if to say, Be normal. 

As he approaches the small group, one of them asks very loudly if you’re his girlfriend. They all burst into giggles, blushing and eager-eyed like they’re sixteen rather than sixty. Sunghoon would be endeared if you didn’t look so alarmed and Minjeong so horrified, both of you looking at him before turning back to each other and getting into a very heated and secretive discussion. He is bombarded with a hundred questions: what your name is, where you’re from, how did the two of you meet, are you together? No? But you’re so pretty! And he’s such a nice boy! He answers all of their queries to the best of his ability while checking that your conversation with Minjeong hasn’t turned physical—your arms are now also crossed over your chest, and you look annoyed while she looks like she’s accusing you of something, but at least, punches aren’t being thrown. 

Thankfully, it’s only a couple more minutes until the conductor calls for everyone to gather on stage, and a weight is lifted off of Sunghoon’s shoulders once the ladies’ collective attention is no longer on him. He isn’t sure where they came from, or why they’ve decided to make the choir rehearsal their hang-out spot, but there is always a group of women who sit there and knit while chatting quietly or listening to the songs, and they are sometimes joined by children whose parents are part of the choir but don’t want to sing themselves and apparently have nowhere else to go. Sunghoon had been so excited at the prospect of having you come see him that he hadn’t thought of how boring this might be for you, sitting with sixty-year-olds for two hours, listening to an amateur choir go through scales and sing corny romance ballads—they’re rehearsing for a wedding they’ve been hired to sing at. But as the minutes go by, his worry dissipates when the delighted smile on your face hardly falters. He can’t imagine that his choir is that good, but you genuinely look like you’re having a nice time, and it makes Sunghoon stand a little taller, sing a little louder. Your eyes are on him for most of the time, and he blushes every time your gazes meet, but he still can’t keep himself from looking away from the conductor to check on you every few seconds.   

Once rehearsal is over, everyone gathers around the refreshments table. When you tell Sunghoon that he looked good out there, he stuffs his mouth with banana bread to stop himself from blurting out something stupid. Your cookies are a hit, and so is everything else—Sunghoon would be more than happy to watch you eat as many baked goods as you possibly can and chat with the grandmas, but he has something to ask you. Without thinking much, he wraps his fingers around your wrist, gently pulling you away from the table and towards him. The question that was at the tip of his tongue fades as soon as you meet his eyes, looking up at him like a deer caught in headlights, cheeks stuffed with brownie. You’re so cute that words fail him for a second, and when he notices the proximity between the two of you, takes a small, bashful step backwards. You glance at his hand still around your wrist, and he withdraws it like he’s suddenly been burned. 

A playful smile grows on your lips. “Everything alright?”

He scratches the back of his head. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. I just, um, well. There’s a bus that takes us from right across the street directly to the beach, if you’re, um, if you’re interested. In going. With me. If you want.”

Your eyebrows cock in surprise, and Sunghoon thinks he’s messed it all up. You shoot Minjeong a quick, worried glance, then seem to think for a second. But when you look back to him, your smile is soft. “That sounds nice.”

An hour later, you’re running around together on the beach—or rather, Sunghoon is running around, and after five minutes of watching him with a smile on your face, he’s convinced you to run around with him. You’ve both long discarded your shoes and socks, jeans scrunched up to your mid-calves, grins so wide, your cheeks start to hurt. The wet sand is hard under your feet and the water cold against your skin. Sunghoon’s t-shirt sticks everywhere you sprayed water on him, and he knows putting his shoes on later will be a whole ordeal, but it doesn’t bother him. Even the gray September sky feels brighter because you’re standing with him underneath it. 

The water-splashing battle quickly has you both out of breath, and Sunghoon is ready to call a truce when you spot something behind him, gasping and running towards it. He turns around to find you picking up a bunch of sandcastle-building toys that must’ve been left behind by some kids. “I haven’t built a sandcastle in such a long time, this is so exciting,” you say, excitement written all over your face. 

As much as he loves seeing the glint of childish amusement in your eyes, Sunghoon keeps looking around in case the owners of these toys might appear out of thin air. “I feel like there’s something immoral about this,” he says, and you stop stacking sand into one of the toys to look at him with a confused frown. “Aren’t we technically stealing from some kids?”

“Sunghoon. If those kids really cared about these plastic toys, they wouldn’t have left them here.”

“What if they come back for them?”

“Then we’ll give them back. We’re not monsters.” That’s all it takes for Sunghoon to give in. He helps dig trenches around the towers you build, carving out small windows on them and apologizing profusely when he accidentally pokes too hard into one of them, destroying half of it. 

The second he notices you shivering, Sunghoon is on his feet, unwrapping the scarf around his neck and laying it like a blanket over your shoulders. “I’m going to get us something warm to drink. I’ll be back in a minute!” he announces before you can even protest, and practically runs to the nearest café. 

He only leaves you and the slightly pathetic-looking sandcastle alone for a minute, quickly coming back with two take-away cups of milky Earl Grey tea and a brownie that he couldn’t help himself from buying. The moan you let out when you bite into it, gooey, sweet chocolate sticking to your teeth, goes straight down Sunghoon’s spine, but he tries not to let his thoughts get too carried away.

“Good, right?” he asks, laughing when you nod fervently. When you laugh too, it’s a sound so sweet, it rivals the decadence of the brownie. “I sometimes make the trip all the way here just for this.”

“I thought I’d be done with sweets after this morning, but this is so good.”

“Better than Berta’s banana bread?”

“Oh, a hundred percent,” you say, covering your mouth with your hand as you speak. “Sorry, Berta. I’ll be thinking about this for the rest of my life.”

Sunghoon hopes you’ll remember him as the boy who’d introduced you to those brownies, if nothing else.

The two of you are silent for a little bit, but it’s a comfortable silence—something Sunghoon didn’t know was possible with someone he’d just met. This was something he loved about the sea: it allowed for some quiet. The crashing of the waves against the shore, the calls of the seagulls, the dogs barking after them—it all meant he didn’t need to fill the space with needless chatter. He could look out at the peaceful water, you by his side, and just enjoy the moment.

“I’m still so amazed whenever I come to the beach, no matter how many times it’s been.” Sunghoon’s voice is quiet when he speaks, lower than usual. It sounds a lot more intimate than he means it to be. You turn your head to look at him, silently asking him to go on. There’s a small smile playing on his lips, a twinkle in his eyes as he watches the water. “The town I grew up in is right in the middle of the country, so the sea is like, a five-hour drive. There was a lake nearby, but it was nothing compared to this. It might sound silly, but being from somewhere where everyone knows each other, I never realized just how big the world was until I came here and saw the sea for the first time.”

“You’d never been to the sea before coming here?” you ask, surprise clear in your voice. 

He shakes his head. “My hometown isn’t far from the mountains, so it’s a huge tourist spot both in the winter and in the summer, which meant my mom had to work even when my sister and I were out of school and could actually go on holiday. We’d go visit my grandparents and aunts when we found the time, but that was it.” He meets your gaze, a smile playing on his lips at the thought of his hometown and his family. “This is the furthest I’ve ever been from home.” 

The corners of your lips raise into a smile too, matching Sunghoon’s. “And how has that been going?”

He sighs. “It’s okay. I miss my mom and sister like crazy, of course, but they FaceTime me so much that I barely notice it. And anyways, it’s also nice to be on my own. Discover another part of myself, and all that.”

“For sure.” 

There’s a slight shift in your expression that Sunghoon catches onto, a falter in your smile and a hint of sadness in your eyes. He doesn’t want to force a topic that you don’t want to talk about, so he just gently eggs you on, in case all you need is a small push.

“What about you? I think Jake mentioned you guys growing up around here, only an hour or so away.”

At the mention of your brother, the smile returns to your eyes. You take a deep breath and think for a bit, but eventually, you start talking. Although Sunghoon’s eyes are on you, you keep yours trained on the sea. “Yeah, we did. We live just up the coast, so we were always hanging out at the beach. In a way, it’s nice having the sea here as well. It’s like-I don’t know.”

“Like having a piece of home even when you’re away?”

Your gazes meet for just a second, the surprise clear in your eyes, but as quickly as it came, it’s gone, and you turn away from Sunghoon once more. “Basically, yeah.” A sardonic smile appears on your lips. “Although the constant reminder isn’t always appreciated.” 

He tilts his head. When you don’t say anything further, he flicks some sand onto your hand and asks you what you mean by that. He looks at you with curiosity and kindness only, eager to know more about you, to let you know that you can open up to him, that he won’t judge you, but careful not to overstep any boundaries either. It seems to work.

“It might sound stupid, but back home, the beach was a place I could go to when it all was a bit too much, you know? Like an escape from everyday life. Where I could forget about all of the pressure on my shoulders.” Sunghoon hums, and you take another deep breath. “I don’t know if you and Jake talk about this sort of thing, but… our parents are barely nice when we do well, and pretty awful when we don’t reach their expectations. So we were like, constantly having to outdo ourselves just for them to say, ‘Keep it up’, or something like that. And if we did something wrong, well…”

You trail off, but Sunghoon knows what you mean. “Yeah, Jake said they barely spoke to him anymore because he decided to play hockey instead of becoming, like, a doctor or something.”

You smile, but it’s humorless. “Yep. They send him money, and he comes home for a bit over Christmas and summer break, but that’s it. I’ve gone home by myself sometimes and they won’t even mention him, it’s insane.”

“He also doesn’t talk about it a lot.”

“I know. I’m always the one to bring it up. I know it’s a sensitive topic for him, obviously, but I still find it amazing how well he deals with it. But me… despite everything, I still need their approval, you know?” you ask, and Sunghoon nods.

“That makes sense.”

You sigh. “I guess. And I’m obviously not becoming a doctor like them. Not a medical one, at least. It took a year of convincing them that doing the degree I’m doing was okay. ‘Cause at the end of the day, it’s still me filling in my university applications, and they can’t actually force me to go to medical school, but I still wanted them to be proud of me. Even if I study languages.” It’s quiet for a few seconds as you both look out at the waves crashing against the shore. When you start talking again, you look down at the sand, picking it up and letting it filter through your fingers. “So, yeah. Jake got a scholarship here, and I didn’t wanna be too far from home, so here we are. We’re so close to home, the sea I went to when I needed a break in high school and the sea I go to now are one and the same. And now it reminds me of my parents rather than making me forget about them.”

“I’m sorry for bringing you here,” Sunghoon says. “I didn’t think…”

You cut him off with a smile. “It’s okay. Now I’ve created new memories. Nice ones. And you know… wherever I am, it’ll be at the back of my mind. It’s up to me whether I let it affect my life or not.”

“Letting go of these things is never easy,” Sunghoon offers. “You also can’t blame yourself if it does affect you sometimes.”

When you look at Sunghoon, your eyes darting back-and-forth between his like they’re searching for something there, he feels himself tense up slightly. He can’t read you at all, has no idea what you’re thinking even as you smile and say, “You’re right.” Even as you silently link your pinky with his, gazing down at your hands with a small smile. He hadn’t realized how cold his hands were until this small touch, so small yet able to spread warmth throughout his entire body. When he speaks, he can’t bring himself to meet your eyes—he’s still so focused on where your hands touch, too aware of the skin of your finger right against his. Such a small, innocent touch. He can’t even begin to understand why it means so much to him.

“For what it’s worth, I think what you’re doing is super cool,” he says. “I’ve always been so shit at foreign languages, let alone dead languages. And packing your bags and going abroad for a year, not everybody can do that. Becoming a doctor might be hard, but it also takes a specific kind of person to do what you do. And what Jake does. It’s all valuable.”

“Now, if you could say that again while I record you to show my parents, please,” you say, making him laugh.

“It’d be my pleasure.”

“What about you?” you ask him after a small pause. “I can’t be the only one who trauma-dumps on the first date.”

Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat. He hadn’t even dared entertain the thought that this might be more than a platonic hang-out in case he was crossing a line—but you’ve just called it a date. With just a few casual words, you’ve changed the entire meaning of the hours you’ve spent together. He hopes you can’t tell how flustered it’s made him.

“Well, there’s not much trauma to dump, really. Sorry.” 

You giggle. “Don’t apologize. That’s a good thing.”

Now that you’ve just opened up about your parents, Sunghoon is scared that telling you about how good of a childhood he had might come off as insensitive—but you smile softly at him, holding his hand face-up in yours, tracing the lines of his palm with the tip of a finger, and he starts talking. “So, it was just me, my older sister and my mom growing up. My dad died when I was 2.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It is a bit sad that I don’t have any memories of him, but everyone who knew him said he was a great guy. And my mom’s had this boyfriend since I was like, 10? He’s the one who got me to start hockey. So it hasn’t been that bad.”

“Your mom must be really strong.”

Sunghoon smiles. “She is. She’s amazing. To raise two kids on your own while grieving and not royally fuck up is… well, amazing. She’s always been so supportive of us, no matter what we wanted to do. My sister did well at school, but I wasn’t so good. I never really enjoyed it, but she’s never made me feel bad about it. She didn’t mind that all I wanted to do was hit a puck around.” 

“And you’re pretty good at hitting that puck around, aren’t you?”

“I’m not so bad,” Sunghoon says, chuckling along with you. He’s about to go on, but he is cut off by a raindrop hitting his hand, then another one; before either of you know it, your clothes are soaked through. Sunghoon takes his denim jacket off, using it as a makeshift umbrella for the both of you as you run towards the nearest awning, shaking with giddy laughter until you forget about the chilly rain and the clothes sticking to your skin. When it doesn’t let up for another few minutes, Sunghoon suggests catching the bus back, and you agree. 

The heating on the bus is set on low, but it’s enough to warm Sunghoon up as soon as he steps onto it. You sit at the back in a corner of your own, multiple rows away from the other people onboard. The two of you are relatively quiet, lost in your own thoughts until Sunghoon, after much internal deliberating, takes one of your hands in his and interlaces your fingers together. You look up at him, but he doesn’t return your gaze, eyes fixed on the window to hide his shy smile and the blush slowly staining his cheeks. To his surprise, you squeeze his hand and rest your head on his shoulder. He freezes for a second, unsure how to react to your reciprocated affection, but he makes himself relax into your touch, and starts brushing his thumb back-and-forth on the back of your hand. The sudden storm has made day turn to night a little earlier today, and with the quiet hum of the bus, he finds himself on the edge of sleep for the whole ride—the only thing keeping him awake is his booming heart.

The bus is nearing his stop when the buzz of his phone in his back pocket jolts him awake. You lift your head from his shoulder, massaging your neck as you fish your phone out of your own pocket. Sunghoon, more intrigued by you than by whoever has texted him, watches as the brightness of your screen makes you wince. Once you’ve read the text, you turn towards him, sleepy eyes and sleepy voice as you ask him whether he’s seen “this,” referring to a text from Chaewon. dinner at our flat tonight!!! come whenever. bring drinks. 

“Oh, I forgot she was doing that tonight,” you say through a yawn.

Sunghoon chuckles. “Do you have enough energy for it?”

“I always have enough energy for Chaewon’s cooking.”

You and Sunghoon make a pit-stop at a grocery store to buy two bottles of white wine and the hummus Chaewon likes, then head to your flat. Naturally, questions are asked when you and Sunghoon arrive at the exact same time, but before Sunghoon can explain that you spent the day together, Minjeong’s head pops out of the kitchen door, and she asks whether you ran into each other downstairs. Chaewon is only looking at the both of you, waiting for an answer, so she doesn’t see the very pointed look Minjeong gives you, as if to say Agree with me or else. You quickly glance at Sunghoon then say, “Yeah, we just arrived at the same time.” When they’ve both turned away, you tell him in a hushed tone that you’ll ask her about it later. 

The girls are busy in the small kitchen and Chaewon insists that they don’t need any more help, so you and Sunghoon bring two chairs by the kitchen door and sit as Yunjin catches the four of you up on the most recent drama in her Law cohort. Jay arrives twenty minutes later, but it isn’t another hour before Jake shows up with the excuse that he was taking a nap.

“Someone would think you don’t sleep at night, with the amount of naps you take,” you say.

“Oh my God, I miss when you weren’t here,” Jake replies, flicking your forehead before promptly plopping himself down on the couch. “I was so hungover when I woke up. I had to sleep it off,” he explains as he grabs four cans of beer from his backpack. 

Chaewon always makes a point to ask how everyone’s spent their day, but today, she unfortunately starts with Sunghoon, so he doesn’t have any time to come up with anything believable other than the truth, which is exactly what he does—and when Jay asks, What, to the beach by yourself? under Minjeong’s heavy gaze, he has no choice but to say yes. He isn’t sure why it’s such a big deal that you spent the day with him, or why it needs to be kept a secret, but there must be a reason. He’ll find out later. When it’s your turn, you look straight into Sunghoon’s eyes as you say you spent the day at the library but didn’t get much work done. Everyone ignores Jake when he exclaims Boring! and Chaewon swiftly moves onto Jay.

But you don’t. 

Your eyes stay on Sunghoon, unflinchingly watching him, expression unreadable, and he finds himself unable to look away, even as he feels his face heat up and his stomach flip. Then you smile, a satisfied smirk like you got what you wanted, and shift your gaze to Jay, who’s going on and on about the first six episodes of Lost he binge-watched earlier and wondering why nobody had told him about this “masterpiece of a show” before. Sunghoon is too busy thinking about the way you’d looked at him and pondering all the reasons for it to listen carefully. He watched Lost when he was fourteen anyway.

All throughout the evening, as the seven of you eat Chaewon’s pasta dish (which she made entirely from scratch, and is probably one of the best things to have ever graced Sunghoon’s taste buds), drink, talk, and afterwards, play card games, every glance between you and Sunghoon feels like a secret conversation that only the two of you are privy to. No one except for Minjeong is aware that you spent the day just the two of you until now—and even she doesn’t know what it is you did. Within a day of knowing each other, you already share memories that are yours and no one else’s. Sunghoon is giddy with the knowledge, heart skipping every time your eyes meet, no matter how fleetingly. When you’re all saying goodbye, it takes everything in him not to hug you for an awkwardly long time and to tear himself away from you. 

He can hardly fall asleep that night.

--

For the entirety of the year you were gone, Sunghoon could only nod and smile while the others bemoaned your absence or commented on how much more fun it’d be if you were here (even Jake, after enough wine spritzers, would admit to missing you). He understood that the group dynamics might feel different to them without you around, but this particular set of people was all he knew, so he never minded it. It reminded him of people telling him how sad it must’ve been growing up without a father, trying to be empathetic, when he didn’t know how he could miss something he never had. 

But now that you’re here, he gets it. You add something to the group that he can’t quite put his finger on. It’s in your affectionate gestures towards Chaewon and Yunjin, in your shared sense of humor with Jay (which no one else seems to find funny, save for Sunghoon, sometimes), in your bickering with Minjeong and downright arguing with Jake. It’s a hackneyed expression, but you do light up a room—at least in Sunghoon’s opinion, you do. In your presence, everything feels not only more lively, but also more cohesive, like you were the missing piece of a puzzle. Like a historic work of art that has been returned to its rightful owner. 

Sunghoon just finds himself drawn to you, at times unable to keep his eyes off of you, and the only things keeping him from making a move are his inherent shyness and the eyes of your friends. He doesn’t want to mess up the friendship he has with anyone from the group, least of all Jake, just because he can’t keep it in his pants. He thought of Yunjin and Chaewon, how their relationship had gone smoothly from the beginning and posed no problem to the dynamic of the group, but he had no idea if this was replicable between you and him at all.

If he had to be honest, a big part of him was also just afraid you’d reject him.

Getting a read on you is hard, which doesn’t help. It’s been three weeks since the gang reunited, since that party where you met. The first semester of his second and your fourth year started a little bit over a week ago; Sunghoon sometimes worries that you think there is some big age gap between you and that you see him as a kid, even though, admittedly, two years is not such a huge difference. In those three weeks, there have been many encounters which could be seen as cases of flirting between the two of you—Sunghoon has noticed every single one of them and replayed each an embarrassing amount of times in his head. A hand carefully posited on his shoulder; prolonged eye contact; jokes whispered in his ear at a crowded house party; knees lightly touching at first, then pressed together during movie night. None of it ever fails to make Sunghoon’s heart flutter. You could breathe in his general direction and it’d make his heart beat fast enough to worry a cardiologist, so when you smile at him, it’s a small death every time.

And so he dares hope that his interest isn’t one-sided—although most of the time, he is so stuck between thinking none of it means anything and thinking every single thing you do is a sign that you like him, that he rarely knows what to think. And whenever you’ve paid him enough attention to make him believe it’s not all in his head, you do something that proves him wrong. Watching you interact with other people, he realizes that you keep good eye contact with everyone and that you’re just as touchy and playful with all of your friends. At parties, you hit it off with new people and catch up with old friends without so much as a hint of awkwardness. He watches as you talk to other guys, the same smile that has been making him weak for the past three weeks, directed towards them and not him. Sunghoon assumes you’re either really nice to everyone and oblivious to the fact that it could be seen as flirting, or you just flirt with everyone. 

In that sense, the two of you are complete opposites. Sunghoon, whose entire friend group hangs on the fact that he befriended Jay, who knew Jake, who knew you, Minjeong, Yunjin and Chaewon. Sunghoon who has spoken to maybe half of his hockey team outside of the locker rooms and the occasional party. Sunghoon who, outside of his usual friend group, has managed to make three other friends on his own in the year he’s been at university, because they had been put in a group project and magically hit it off enough to upgrade from classmates to friends. 

Then there’s you, who has to stop every thirty seconds at a party to say hi to someone you know. You, who still keeps in touch with the friends you made in a foreign country, even those who spoke broken English. You, who didn’t make Sunghoon feel like his crippling shyness was a problem when you first met. 

He doesn’t understand how everyone who meets you doesn’t instantly fall in love. 

Or maybe they do, and he’s just one of many vying for your heart. 

Tonight is one of the nights where all he can do is watch from afar as you interact with another man that he desperately wishes was him. With your lower back against the kitchen counter, drink in hand as you laugh with that other guy, eyes never leaving his face, it almost looks like someone has copied your time with Sunghoon at the costume party and pasted it onto this post-hockey game party. All you’re missing is a bright pink cowgirl hat and boots to match.

And yet, it’s his team jacket over your shoulders, his name and number on your back. Sunghoon shouldn’t feel nearly as jealous as he does.

So he does what any good friend would do, and blames Jay for reasons completely unwarranted—even now, days after receiving his advice, and hours after taking it, Sunghoon still can’t help but regret involving him at all. 

Initially, Sunghoon hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about his growing feelings for you—he’d thought that if he pushed them away and kept them to himself, they’d go away on their own. But clearly, they didn’t, seeing as how his stomach always twisted in nervous excitement at the prospect of seeing you and how he could never get through a conversation with you without blushing. So, quicker than he’d like to admit, he’d given in and told Jay about the day you’d spent at the beach and how felt about you now, thinking it was some big shameful secret that would render his friend flabbergasted. 

That was his first mistake. 

Jay wasn’t impressed. “Yeah, it’s been pretty obvious, dude,” he’d said through a mouthful of cheeseburger. It was after hockey practice, and they were sitting in the burger joint near the ice rink that had some of the best student deals in town. Jake was going on a Hinge date, and Sunghoon had lured Jay in with the promise of free food (Jay wanted to go home and game, but all Sunghoon needed to do to convince him was to say “I’ll pay for it”). 

“Obvious? How obvious? Does everyone know? Does Jake know?” Sunghoon asked, growing more agitated by the second.

“Jake is possibly the worst room-reader that has ever lived, so no, I don’t think he’s caught on. But the rest of us know. I mean, you look at her like a twelve-year-old with a crush on his English teacher,” Jay said, unceremoniously cramming fries into his mouth.

Sunghoon ignored the slightly humiliating remark, still preoccupied by the fact that he hadn’t been as discreet as he thought he had. He leant in towards Jay and dropped his voice to a whisper, even though the restaurant was practically empty, save for them and a group of rowdy middle school boys who were definitely not paying attention to them. “Do you think… does she know?”

Jay dropped his fist on the table in sudden annoyance, causing Sunghoon to jump back in his seat. “Now you’re acting like a twelve-year-old.” Before Sunghoon could defend himself and argue that he’s being completely rational, Jay launches into a surprisingly moving monologue. “It’s fine if you like her, there’s nothing to be embarrassed of. Everybody feels attraction towards other people, everybody gets crushes, it’s no big deal. Just talk to her. Worst case scenario, she doesn’t feel the same way, and you both move on, because you’re adults.”

There’s nothing worse than a friend being right about something you absolutely don’t want to hear. Sunghoon did feel like he had been carrying a horrible secret around, but Jay was spot-on: crushes are a very common, very human experience. And yet Sunghoon managed to feel like he was the only one who had ever had to go through this torture. “You say that like it’s easy,” he said, sulking.

“It is easy. You’re making it hard.”

“So what, your advice is just to confess to her?”

Jay rolled his eyes. “See? You’re saying confess like it’s some sin you have to repent for. Yeah, just tell her.”

“Just tell her,” Sunghoon repeated, looking at his friend like he was crazy. Jay just took another bite of his burger.

“Yeah, dude. It’s not even like you’ve known each other for a long time, so there’s no risk of ruining a friendship, or anything.”

“But do you even know if she feels the same way at all?”

Jay shrugged. “She hasn’t mentioned anything,” he said, and Sunghoon’s heart dropped in disappointment. “But it’s Y/N, she’ll be cool about it. And who knows, she might actually see something in you, for some godforsaken reason.”

Jay laughed at his own joke, and Sunghoon afforded him a chuckle. They moved on to other topics, but later, as they waited for Jay’s bus to come, he couldn’t help himself. “Do you think Jake will mind? If something happens with Y/N and me?”

Jay thought for a second. “I think he’d be more upset with her than with you, what with everything that happened with Heeseung... But knowing him, he probably won’t care as long as you aren’t weird in front of him.” He puts a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder and shakes it gently. “Don’t let that stop you from making a move, okay? You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.” His bus came then, so Sunghoon couldn't ask for more details about this Heeseung situation—he knew that there had been something between you and him which hadn’t ended particularly well, but no one ever really talked about it so he didn’t dare bring it up. All he knew was that it had been significant enough for Jay to mention it now, and for Jake to seem bothered every time it was mentioned.

He put all of that out of his head for the time being. In a way, he had just received Jay’s blessing; even if it scared him shitless, he could make a move. Perhaps not something as straightforward as Jay was suggesting, but something, at the very least. 

The first major hockey game of the season was that coming Friday. Sunghoon had an idea.

The morning of, he shot you a text. He tried to make it sound as nonchalant as he can, so that you wouldn’t know he spent close to an hour deleting, writing and pouring over a singular sentence. Can you meet me in front of the locker rooms 30 mins before the game? 

That was his second mistake.

You replied twenty minutes later, twenty minutes that Sunghoon spent questioning everything that had led up to this moment.

yn.sim i’ll be there!!

You even got there five minutes early. He was waiting for you, all decked out in his hockey uniform, save for the gloves and protective headgear. He was anxiously chewing on gum, heart doing somersaults inside his ribcage—a grin found his lips as soon as you appeared around the corner, the sight of you alleviating his nerves for a second, then doubling them when you came close. “Hey,” he said, voice soft and slightly trembling.

“Hey,” you simply replied, a smile on your face to match his as he took you in his arms. It was a hug that lasted a second longer than it should, but that also ended too early for his liking.

“Um, I only have a second, Coach will be wanting to give one of his pep talks,” he said when you separated. One quick glance back at the locker room doors behind him, then back at you. The tips of his ears burnt, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from furtively darting between your face and the floor. But he’d come this far, so he couldn’t back out now. He just had to get it over with. “Here,” he blurted out, holding out the letterman jacket he had been hiding behind his back. You grabbed it, eyeing him with amused suspicion at first, but surprise spreaded over your features as you unfurled the jacket.

“Your team jacket?” 

He couldn’t tell whether you were amazed or horrified. You stared wide-eyed at the jacket, at its dark green sleeves, at the four letters of his last name and the huge number 8 embroidered onto the back. Your surprise faded back into what he thought — what he hoped — was excitement as you looked at him. He scratched the back of his neck, feeling his face flush red. “Yeah, I just, you know… It’s the first big game of the year, and I thought it’d bring me good luck if a pretty girl was wearing my name…” he explained, repeating the words he’d practiced over and over, voice turning into more and more of a mumble as he spoke. He had planned on speaking with more confidence, but now, the fact that he could speak at all felt like a miracle.

A light giggle spilled out of your mouth. Sunghoon immediately took it for mockery and regretted every decision that had led him here. “Sorry, it was a silly idea, you don’t have to wear it if you don’t like it,” he said, reaching for the jacket. But you were quicker than him, hugging the thick bundle of fabric to your chest as you now beamed at him.

“Are you kidding? I love it,” you said, shrugging off your jacket and replacing it with his.

First, relief flooded his body, then pride and excitement — as you spun around and showed the jacket off — at seeing his name on your back, and his attempt at making a move being successful. At least, he thought it was clear what he meant by giving you his jacket to wear at his game—he could only hope you understood. “Well… I’m glad.” Your eyes met, and you both chuckled softly, gazes holding each other’s for a second too long. 

Two weeks ago, Sunghoon still would’ve been able to convince himself this was a fluke; that this was just another one of his crushes that a gentle breeze could blow away. Because after all, when Sunghoon fell in love, it usually went as quickly as it came. But at that moment, in front of the locker rooms, his mind solely on you and not the opening game of the season, he realized this was something else entirely. And whatever it was, he hadn’t felt it in a good long while.

He was terrified—but infinitely excited, too.

“Okay, I should probably head back in now,” he forced himself to say, but made no move to go.

“Okay.”

He paused. “Will you be cheering me on?”

Your smile widened. “Of course.”

He nodded slowly, upper body starting to turn away but feet still firmly planted on the ground. “Okay.” 

Another second passed, and just as he was about to actually walk away, you grabbed his hand. Before he could compute what was happening, you lifted your head and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. His hand was still in yours when you took a step back, and for once, it was you who looked sheepishly at the floor. “For good luck,” you explained. He had no time to reply—you were already walking away, only looking back once to wave and shoo him in the direction of the locker room. He chuckled and nodded, but waited until you were out of sight to head back into the locker room.

Inside the locker room, everyone was too focused on getting their head in the game to notice his giddy smile. Your lips had been warm and soft against his cheeks, a welcome repeat of that time at the costume party, but the quickness of it all had only made him want more. From that very first night he’d met you, the question of how your lips would feel on his had scarcely left his mind. This brought him a step closer to getting an answer, but also made his curiosity grow tenfold.

Thankfully, by the time his coach gathered them around for a last minute pep talk, he’d managed to put the distracting thoughts of you out of his head, at least temporarily—he’d need to play well, for himself and his team mostly, but impressing you was also a priority. 

As the captain, Heeseung said a few words. He reminded the team of how important this match was and went over the main strategy points. For the time being, Sunghoon was able to forget about his arguably unfounded resentment against the older boy and whatever it was he had to do with you. This was not the time for jealousy over someone he had no right to feel jealous over. 

A few minutes later, his members and those of the opposing team poured out onto the rink for warm-up. Sunghoon searched the crowd for your face—when he found it, you were already smiling wide and waving at him. His heart did something funny, but Jay punched his shoulder pad and he remembered what he was there for. He could get lost in the eyes of a pretty girl later, specifically when he’d destroyed the other team and shown her how good of a hockey player he was.

Every now and then as he skirted around the rink and did his stretches, he stole glances at you. They didn't last long, because every single time, you’d already be looking, as if your eyes never strayed from him. Knowing you were watching made him nervous at first, but by the end of warm-up, mainly because he didn’t have much of a choice, he’d turned those nerves into an ever stronger will to do well.

The moment the referee blew the whistle, and for the hour that followed, Sunghoon was locked in on one thing and one thing only: winning. He was only competitive when it came to hockey—he didn’t care about dying in an online battle game or losing to Jake at beer pong, but once he was on the rink, he had to win. Pride surged through him and filled every crevice of his aching limbs whenever he or one of his team members scored, and the feeling that came with a victory, with hugging his teammates in celebration or hearing the crowd cheer for them, was like nothing else he’d ever known. The other side of that coin meant that any loss was a tremendous disappointment. Getting beat at an important game could put him in a week-long funk. His sister had once carefully hinted at his self-esteem relying too much on his hockey performance, and although his first reaction had been to dismiss her, he knew she had poked at some truth there. But what could he do—on particularly lonely nights, he truly thought hockey was all he had going for him. 

To his overthinking nature, becoming so single-minded the second the whistle blows was a relief, a break from the stress of daily life. He didn’t have to worry about his next deadline or about what the guys on the team thought of him or about the inevitable phone call to his mom asking for more money for groceries. It was respite from the thoughts surrounding you that plagued him: how you felt about him, how you might react knowing what he felt for you, how Jake might react. Why Minjeong hadn’t wanted you to say anything that evening, but why Jay had told him to just go for it. Heeseung, whom he had to respect as the captain and an undeniably talented player, but also as someone who had had something to do with you, whether good or bad. All of it had been wildly bustling around Sunghoon’s mind, but once on the rink, all he had to concern himself with was the puck and getting it in the opposing team’s goal. 

And Sunghoon did just that—he scored the first goal of the game, another one in the second period, then a third during the eleventh hour, breaking the tie between the two teams. He smiled right at you after each one, just to make sure you had seen everything. He couldn’t quite describe how it felt to see you clap and cheer for him, jumping up-and-down, forming a megaphone with your hands around your mouth and yelling, “Go Sunghoon!” all while you wore his jacket. It was a separate kind of pride and satisfaction from the sort he’d get seeing anyone else cheer him on, for sure. 

The other team put up a good fight, getting in a few goals of their own and protecting their side well, but in the end, thanks to Sunghoon’s goal, it was his team that won. He took his helmet off and got his hair ruffled by half of his team, then shook hands with the other team, trying to contain his boastful smile—some ice hockey players flew off the handle very quickly, and starting a fight was the last thing he wanted.

Kids and local fans huddled by the barriers on each side of the player’s tunnel to get an autograph or a picture. People around here were weirdly attached to their university sport teams, and the athletes on teams that did particularly well — namely football and rugby — were sort of local celebrities. Their ice hockey team wasn’t quite at that stage yet, but they were placing better nationally with every year, and so the local interest had grown. More kids had started signing up for lessons, and their parents often brought them to home games. As Sunghoon chatted with men twice his age and took selfies with ten-year-olds, he tried to find you in the crowd, to no avail. He’d been hoping for a thumbs-up from you for a game well played, or even a hug, but you were nowhere in sight.

It wasn’t until half-an-hour later, after saying bye to all the fans that had waited after the game for them, listening to Heeseung and their coach congratulate them (but also remind them to not take anything for granted), showering and changing, that he got to check his phone.

chaewon we going k-bbq! u guys played well see u later at da party!!!!

Disappointment only had a second to sink to the bottom of his stomach. He’d barely finished reading the text when he was hoisted up by the shoulders. Two of his senior teammates, Soobin and Beomgyu, marched him towards the exit. “We are getting you wasted tonight, Park,” Beomgyu announced, a wide grin on his lips.

“I have a good feeling about this season,” Soobin added. Sunghoon looked back to find Jay and Jake simply shrugging and laughing at him.

Indeed, the second they got to the dorm where tonight’s party would be taking place, a beer was thrusted in his hand. It was only 7 p.m., still light outside, but that didn’t stop the team nor their friends that had come to the game. They sipped beer like it was water, so much so that two hours later, when the party started to grow, Sunghoon was already quite inebriated. It didn’t help that his cup was never empty for too long, and that he had the reassurance of being in his own dorm—it was the closest student building to the ice rink, and so was one of the prime spots for hockey parties. He could get as drunk as he wanted — or as Beomgyu wanted — and still get home in less than a minute. 

He somehow ended up in the corridor, part of a nonsensical conversation about candle-making with two guys he had recognized from one of his Phys Ed classes but could not for the life of him remember the names of. One had shared that candle-making was a big hobby of his, and it had made Sunghoon and the other unknown man lose their minds—Sunghoon had never realized how curious about candle-making he was, but he couldn’t stop asking questions. It sounded great. Maybe he’d have to pick up candle-making, too. 

Eventually, he headed back to the kitchen for a new drink. For the nth time this evening, he thought of texting you, then immediately thought against it. He wanted to know when you’d get here, but he didn’t want you to know that he wanted to know—although as the night deepened and his intoxication rose, he could remember less and less why that would be such a bad thing. He stepped into the kitchen, and going from the brightly-lit corridor to the dark kitchen with flashing neon lights made him so dizzy that he made a beeline for the couch, needing to sit down for a second.

And that was when he saw you.

Lower back against the counter, talking with a guy he’s never seen in his life. You look like you’re having fun—smiling, laughing, keeping eye contact with that guy. You’re still wearing his jacket. It should probably reassure him—his name is literally on you, what does it matter that you’re speaking to someone else? But instead, all he can think is that wearing his jacket must mean nothing to you. What was basically a confession from him seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

His friends’ words over the past year come back to him—how much you flirt with people, how it wasn’t a rare occurrence for you to go home with a guy after a party and never speak of him ever again. Was this what was happening here?

He knows it’s unreasonable, but in his drunken state, he takes it as a betrayal. Like he can’t believe you haven’t read his mind, figured out how he felt about you, and decided to give special attention to him and him only. He’s only able to take it for so long—two minutes later, he trudges out of the room, walking right past you but not looking your way.

His new mission is to find his friends, but before he’s done much searching, he hears his name being called out. Of course, he recognizes your voice immediately, but he doesn’t quite believe it until he looks over his shoulder, and there you are, face glowing and smiling wide. You’ve clearly had a few drinks, but he likes to think you’d be just as happy to see him if you were sober. He turns around to face you, watching as you narrow the distance between the two of you. He’s not in a much better state—the simple thought that you had come after him makes him forget any sort of resentment he held against you a second ago. When you reach him, he holds on to one of your arms, as much an effort to stabilize his swaying body as an excuse to touch you.

“Hey,” he simply says. He’s always at a loss for words around you, so scared he’ll say the wrong thing that he ends up barely speaking at all. He’s only sober enough to know that with all the cheap beer and vodka running through his blood, his odds of making a fool of himself are even bigger. 

“Hey. I was wondering where you were.” 

“You’re the one who came late.”

“I know!” you exclaim. “I wanted to come right away, but Chaewon was hell-bent on getting her Korean barbecue.”

“She does get cranky when she hasn’t had pork belly in a while.” Sunghoon feels like he’s just won the Nobel Prize when you let out a laugh. “Was the food good at least?”

“It was amazing. So worth getting here late,” you joke.

He rolls his eyes playfully. “I see how it is.” Then, before he can stop himself, he adds, “Then we should go there together next time.” 

Your smile changes, turning from cheerful to surprised, but amused—almost mischievous. You take a step forward. Sunghoon gulps; the gap between the two of you was narrow to begin with. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Usually, this type of straight-forwardness would have him stuttering, but drunk Sunghoon is a man sober Sunghoon barely recognizes in the morning. “Yeah. I am. Is that okay?”

You nod. “Mh-hm.”

“Nice. Okay.” For a second, you just look at each other. Another thing about drunk Sunghoon: he doesn’t feel like prolonged eye contact will make him spontaneously combust. He actually quite enjoys it. He also stumbles, even when all he’s doing is trying to stand straight. “You’re still wearing my jacket,” he eventually says, reaching out to take the end of your sleeve between his fingers.

You stretch out your arms and appraise the team jacket as if you only remembered you had it on. “Yeah. It’s comfy.”

“It looks good. You look good.”

“You’re not quite sober, are you?” you ask suddenly. 

“Is it that obvious?” When you nod, he giggles, lowering his head in defeat. “The guys made me drink so much.”

“You did score three goals after all. And you looked good doing it.”

At the praise, he stands up to his full height and places his palms behind his head in a victorious pose. “I did, didn’t I?” he says, looking off in the distance with a self-assured look that makes you burst into laughter. He drops the confident facade and laughs along with you, until somebody bumps into him and sends him stumbling forwards. If you weren’t standing there to catch him, he’d probably have fallen flat on his face. But even though he doesn’t fall, he feels all the alcohol catching up to him and threatening to come right back out where it came from. You hold him for a second, and just as you ask him if he’s okay, he says, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

You sigh. “Okay. Where’s your room?” 

Arm under his shoulders, you let Sunghoon lean most of his weight on you as you guide him towards the elevator. It’s just one floor, but you said you didn’t want to risk the stairs with him. “Hey, who was that guy with you in the kitchen? That guy in the striped shirt? You guys seemed real chummy back there…” he mumbles as you help him out of the elevator. Even on the verge of sickness, Sunghoon is preoccupied by more important things.

“Oh, that was Jaemin.”

“Jaemin,” he echoes, more venom in his voice than needed.

You look at him, taking in his disgruntled expression, and chuckle. “Yeah, he’s having some problems with his boyfriend. He asked me for advice.”

Sunghoon almost freezes in his tracks, but you’re there to keep him walking towards his room. “Oh. He has a boyfriend.”

“Yeah…” He can tell you want to tease him about it, but thankfully, you say nothing. He’s made it clear he had gotten jealous of your gay friend—no need to spell it out in so many words. Once you reach his studio (which he’d stupidly left unlocked), he heads straight for the bathroom, locking himself in, half out of embarrassment, half because he really doesn’t want you to see him throw up. Talk about a turn-off. He leans over the toilet bowl, waiting for the vomit to rise, but nothing comes. He waits, and waits, mind completely empty, head spinning even though he’s sitting very still, when suddenly a knock on the door pulls him out of his stupor.

“Sunghoon? It’s been ten minutes. Everything okay?”

He doesn’t say anything, just unlocks the door for you. Without realizing, he fell asleep like a bored teenager in math class. “All right,” he hears you say.

He’s surprised you’re able to carry him out of the bathroom—if he was a deadweight before, by now, rigor mortis has practically set in. Despite his small student room, crossing it takes you an entire minute, and when you reach his bed, you all but let him flop on the mattress. He doesn’t mind. As soon as his body hits the bed, he feels quite snug, curling against his blanket. You start to unbutton his shirt, probably just thinking he’s already fallen asleep and wanting to make him more comfortable, but your fingers freeze when he starts giggling. Shoulders shaking with unbridled laughter, he feels as delighted as a five-year-old who just said a naughty word and made all his drunk relatives laugh at the family dinner. 

“I know I looked really hot tonight, but can we wait until I’m sober?” he asks, slurring his words slightly and keeping his eyes shut, despite the shit-eating smirk on his lips. You hit him on the chest but it just makes him laugh more.

“Bold of you to assume I’d still hit when I’ve just had to peel you off your toilet seat.” He lets you finish helping him out of his button-down. 

“Wouldn’t you?” he asks. He tries to look at you, but his eyes don’t quite open all the way, and they don’t focus properly, due to a strong mix of alcohol and inappropriate thoughts. Of you, specifically. His body feels suddenly very heavy, his want for you weighing him down into the mattress. The room is dark, your face illuminated only by the light in the bathroom and the glow of the street lights outside. You always look pretty, but your beauty is especially breath-taking right now, Sunghoon thinks. He wants to reach out and touch your face, wants to trace your jawline and know what your skin would feel like against his fingers. He doesn’t realize he’s actually doing it until he hears you inhale shakily.

The expression in your eyes is unreadable, and quickly gone, replaced by an annoyed squint. You grab his wrist gently, setting it back down next to him. “I’m gonna make you some ramen. You need to sober up, and you haven’t had dinner, have you?”

Sunghoon shakes his head. He feels rejected, and it makes him inordinately sad.

For five minutes, he watches as you rummage around his cupboards for a pack of ramen, fill a pot with water and bring it to a boil. His thoughts float back to your day at the beach, memories that he’s preciously held onto for the past few weeks. You running around on the sand, opening yourself up to him and letting him open himself up to you, holding his hand on the bus. That day, he’d really thought it would be the beginning of something new; but as time passed, he became less and less sure of himself. He’s scared it might’ve just been a fluke, and that he’d have to destroy the castle he’d built in his head. He’s seen you almost every day since, but it’s never been the same. And even if your eyes met unexpectedly sometimes, or if you went out of your way to sit next to him during movie nights, he can’t let himself go on with so few signs. Jay was right—he had to be clear about his feelings, otherwise this would go on forever. Even if it didn’t feel like it, the Earth would continue spinning on its axis if you didn’t reciprocate.

“I’ve missed you.”

You pause in your movements. “Missed me? But we’ve seen each other every day,” you say after a few seconds, still facing away from him. Your voice is softer than he’s heard it before, almost unsure of itself.

“No,” Sunghoon whines, frowning. He can barely keep his eyes open—he wishes you could read his mind so he wouldn’t have to explain, but alas. “I miss you—the you from the beach. When it was just me and you. It’s not the same with the others around.”

Silence falls over the room again. Sunghoon wonders if you’re just going to ignore what he said, until you take a deep breath, and walk back to his bed. You crouch in front of him and take both of his hands in yours. Electricity flows from where your hands touch to the rest of his body. He suddenly feels a lot more awake.

“It’s just the two of us now,” you whisper. 

Sunghoon nods. “I know. It’s nice.”

You smile. It might be the alcohol playing tricks on him, but Sunghoon swears there’s a hint of sadness in your eyes. One of your hands comes up to his hair. You thread your fingers gently through it, pushing it away from his forehead, then bring your hand down to the side of his face, your palm cupping it tenderly. Sunghoon lets himself lean into your warm touch. With his eyes closed, the darkness surrounding him makes this feel like a dream—he basks in the moment so as not to let a second of it go to waste.

“Do you wanna do something just us two this week?” you ask softly. His eyes shoot open—he needs to be sure this is really happening. He nods again, fervently this time, and it makes you chuckle. “Okay.”

“Just us two?” 

“Just us two.”

He relaxes once more. He guides your hand towards his mouth and presses his lips against your palm. Something shifts in your eyes—Sunghoon thinks the opportunity to finally kiss you has arisen, but as soon as his gaze drops to your lips, you’re back on your feet. “Let’s eat some ramen, shall we?” you ask as you head back towards the kitchen. Sunghoon tries his best (and probably fails) to not let his disappointment show.

There’s no dining table to speak of, only a low table near Sunghoon’s bed, on which you set down a wooden board and the steaming pot of spicy noodles. You hand him a pair of chopsticks and a spoon, and tell him to eat. Neither of you say much for a while, and Sunghoon grows redder and redder under your watchful gaze. He asks if you want any a few times, but you always turn him down. The silence quickly gets a little too unbearable for him, and he’s got a question burning the tip of his tongue anyway. Now’s as good a time as ever to ask it.

“Something’s been bugging me recently, actually…” You wait for him to go on. “So, at the costume party, right?” You nod. “You said there was only one person you wanted to kiss… Did you mean me?”

You tilt your head, looking at him like you’re trying to figure out whether he’s joking or not. “Yeah, Sunghoon… I meant you. Who else?”

He’s only half-relieved. “So why won’t you kiss me now?”

To his surprise, you smile. “Because you’re drunk.”

Confusion fogs Sunghoon’s brain. Is that all you’re worried about? Is his blood alcohol level the only thing stopping you from kissing him? “But I-I’m fine. I give you consent to kiss me, Y/N.” He’s dead serious, so when you laugh, it only frustrates him further.

“Finish your food, Sunghoon. We’ll see about kissing later.”

He sighs. Later he could deal with. “Fine. But I’ll hold you to it, okay?” he says, pointing a menacing chopstick at you.

“Okay.”

But Sunghoon can’t keep quiet for long—ten seconds later, he’s remembered another question he’s been dying to ask. He continues drinking his soup in an attempt to appear nonchalant. “So what happened between you and Heeseung?”

The question takes you so off-guard, you look like you would’ve done a spit-take had you been drinking water. “That’s-you know about that?”

“Well, not much, that’s why I’m asking.”

You scoff. “Why do you want to know? It’s boring.”

At those words, Sunghoon whips his head up to look at you. “It’s not boring!” he exclaims, perhaps a tad too vigorously. “Anything that has to do with you is interesting to me.”

Finally, the corners of your lips rise. Sunghoon hated the ten seconds in which you weren’t smiling. “Well, there isn’t much to say, anyway. We had a thing when we were in second year, I caught feelings and wanted more, and he didn’t. The end.”

Sunghoon freezes, staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth agape. He then sets his cutlery down neatly next to the pot of ramen and clasps his hands together like he’s in a business meeting. “So you’re telling me that he had the opportunity to make you his girlfriend and he just… didn’t?”

You shrug. “Basically, yeah.”

He hits the bedsheets next to him, huffing out in annoyance. “What an idiot.”

“He sure is,” you say. You smile to yourself as you grab Sunghoon’s spoon and try some of the broth. He wonders whether anything lies behind that smile. “But it happened a while ago. Don’t be weird with him on my account. He’s still your captain.”

Sunghoon thinks for a second. “Can I side-eye him once in a while? Or not pass him the puck during practice?”

“Sure,” you reply, laughing. You swiftly move on to other topics as Sunghoon slurps the last of his noodles, asking him about the beginning of the party and just how much his teammates made him drink. He’s recounting the shot contest they held, which Mark won with an impressive seven shots of tequila in a row — Sunghoon hopes the boy is okay now — when your phones buzz at the same time. Minjeong’s name appears on your screen, Jay’s on his, both asking where you are.

“Should we head back now?” you offer, although Sunghoon, wishfully perhaps, detects a trace of reluctance in your voice. “You look like you’ve sobered up a bit, seeing as you’re able to string more than two sentences together.”

“I wasn’t that bad!”

“I should’ve filmed you.”

It’s one a.m. when you head back down, and the party is in full swing. Pop music blasts through someone’s JBL speaker in the shared kitchen, the hallways are more crowded than the subway at rush hour, just as full of hockey fans celebrating their team’s win as students who just wanted an excuse to party, and every window is open to alleviate some of the stuffiness. They probably have another hour left before the dorm residents who decided not to join in the festivities call campus police on them.

Sunghoon is relieved to find that Jake is off with other team members, reaching levels of drunkenness that will most definitely be regretted in the morning. Technically, he hasn’t done anything wrong—he simply let you nurse him back to sobriety after he almost regurgitated his pre-game protein bar and three beers all over your nice shirt. Chaewon and Yunjin are busy making out in a corner, their lack of decorum only increasing when they’ve been drinking, but Jay and Minjeong eye you suspiciously upon seeing the two of you arrive together. You explain what happened so casually that they don’t question it any further.

Chaewon and Yunjin only tear themselves off of each other when a Beyoncé song starts playing, and they drag all four of you to the makeshift dancefloor, which is really just three meters away in the middle of the kitchen. Sunghoon is practically all sobered up by now, but he’s loosened up enough not to feel self-conscious with every step he takes; the fact that you look so happy, dancing with him and laughing at his silly moves, is a considerable bonus. He won’t drink any more, not wanting to risk embarrassing himself further in front of you, and Jay, as the group’s self-proclaimed health guru, probably had his last beer around nine p.m., but the girls, each of them with a cup of suspicious transparent liquid in hand, are getting drunker by the minute—and so is Jake, who has now joined you all on the dancefloor, if his inability to stand straight is anything to go by. Sunghoon assumes you’re also done with alcohol for the night, until you turn to him in the middle of a song no one has heard since 2015 and tell him you’re going to get a drink.

“Okay!” he simply answers, and for a good thirty seconds, basks in the blissful satisfaction of knowing he was the one you informed of your whereabouts. That is, until he realizes a minute later that it was probably a covert invitation for him to come along, which he totally missed. But when he looks over at the counter where all the drinks are, his heart drops—Heeseung is standing in front of you, pouring gin and lemonade into your cup. A flurry of emotions course through Sunghoon, emotions he has no idea what to do with, because he’s not sure they’re entirely warranted. He’s angry that Heeseung is talking to you, after what he did, confused that you’d let him; but mostly, he’s jealous. But he knows it’s only because he has no guarantee that you like him, and that you won’t go off with Heeseung, despite having just talked about how you were over him.

Wait—is that really what you said? You told Sunghoon that what happened with Heeseung didn’t bother you anymore, which doesn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t go back to him, given the chance. 

Before he can think it over a second time, Sunghoon heads over to where you and Heeseung stand. He places himself right behind you, reaching for a bottle of Coke on your side and pouring himself a drink.

“Oh, hey, Hoon,” his team captain says, clearly surprised to see him there and looking so discontented. Sunghoon can’t remember whether they’ve ever been close enough for Heeseung to call him by his nickname. “Having fun?”

“Yep,” he curtly replies, avoiding eye contact with either of you and looking out at the crowd of party-goers instead. He can feel your gaze, heavy on his face, can see the knowing smirk slowly rising on your lips. How was it that you could see right through him so easily?

“Too much dancing made you thirsty?” you ask, taking a drink from your cup and hiding your smile behind it.

He glares at you, more annoyed that his attempt at subtly sussing out what you and Heeseung were doing together was shut down so quickly than anything else. “Yep,” he repeats.

“You guys know each other?” the older boy asks, eyes darting between the two of you.

“Jake introduced us,” Sunghoon quickly answers. To his surprise, this makes Heeseung chuckle.

“Jay, Sunghoon, me… Wow, do you meet all your friends through your brother, Y/N?” he asks jokingly. Immediately, so many alarm bells ring in Sunghoon’s head—the implication that you and Heeseung are friends, the fact that he put himself and Sunghoon in the same bag, and above all, that teasing, almost flirtatious tone of his. 

He’s horrified to find you rolling your eyes playfully and saying, “I have other friends, thanks,” in a tone far too similar. At that moment, Minjeong starts yelling about how much she loves everyone in this room but particularly “you guys,” pointing to Jake, Jay, Minjeong and Chaewon, and “you guys, too!” screaming over the music as she points to you and Sunghoon.

“There’s one of them,” you say, half-amused, half-exasperated. “We should probably go check on her. See you around, Heeseung.”

“Right. See you, Y/N. Sunghoon.” 

Back to no-nickname basis, apparently.

Your group’s indicator of when it’s time to go home is when Minjeong starts one of her “I-love-my-friends-so-much” rants—if she’s that drunk, everyone else must be wasted. Indeed, Chaewon and Yunjin are holding onto each other to keep themselves from falling down, and Jake is unable to keep his head up. You, Sunghoon and Jay herd your friends outside and wait for Jake’s Uber, making sure to get him safely inside and to tip the driver generously for his pains. Jay lives nearby yours and the girls’ flat, and Sunghoon, ever the gentleman, walks you all home.

“Just ‘cause you and Jay might need a hand getting these three home,” he tells you. Yunjin, Chaewon and Minjeong are currently running around on the road, pointing and laughing at random shop names, and Jay is yelling at them to get back on the sidewalk.

“Mh-hm.”

“And it’ll be good to completely sober up before going to bed.”

“Right.”

There’s no use putting up a front with you—he’s an open book and you’re an avid reader. You don’t need to say anything to make it clear that you know it’s just an excuse to spend more time with you.

“You know, I told you not to be weird with Heeseung,” you say, gently punching him in the arm.

“Was I weird?” he asks, knowing fully well he hadn’t acted at all like he usually did around his captain. 

“You basically only spoke to let Heeseung know we’re friends. You were making yourself all tall and looking mysteriously out into the distance instead of at us.”

“But I am tall and mysterious,” he says, pride coursing through him as it always does when you laugh at one of his jokes.

“You’re probably the least mysterious person I know, Hoon.”

Hoon. How much sweeter that name sounds coming from you over anyone else.

“So you agree that I’m tall?”

You roll your eyes, but there’s a grin on your face. A win is a win. “That’s just a fact.”

Sunghoon smiles victoriously. “I’ll take a fact. But I’m sorry if I was acting weird… I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t bothering you.”

“Heeseung is always bothering me,” you say with a sigh. “He comes up to me like this at every party. He’s just asking how I’ve been, but it’s like he’s sussing out whether or not he’s still got a chance.”

“Do you need me to beat him up? Threaten him? Dox him?”

Even though Sunghoon was only half-joking, you burst out laughing, hard enough for Minjeong to whip around and shout, “What are you laughing about?” as if you had offended her personally. At least Jay is there to make her turn around and focus on walking straight.

“I appreciate the offer, but that won’t be needed. I just don’t like talking about it, ‘cause it’s really not that big a deal anymore. It feels like digging up old bones, you know?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “I’d commit grave robbery with you.”

“You-what?”

“Nevermind. We obviously don’t have to talk about it, but I’m curious.”

You sigh. “I guess it’d make sense for you to know about this.” Sunghoon thinks he sees something like panic flash across your features, but it’s so quick and such a rare expression on you that he’s not sure whether he just imagined it. “You know-just ‘cause everyone else is aware of it, and everything,” you quickly explain.

“Sure.”

“I just… I’m sure Heeseung is a nice guy when it comes to other things, but what the girls and I have concluded is that he’s a bit of an attention whore, you know. When it comes to girls. We fooled around for a while, and he never made it official, even when I made it pretty clear that that was what I wanted. But every time we saw each other after that, he’d flirt with me like nothing had happened. I fell for it at first and flirted back, thinking he had changed his mind… but he really just wanted to make sure I was still into him.”

“Looking for validation,” Sunghoon says.

“Exactly. And when I realized that, I stopped giving it to him. I was getting tired of him anyway, saying the same thing every time. But now, I entertain him for a couple of minutes before I walk away. I shut him down before he gets a chance to do it to me.”

“That’s smart.”

“I know,” you say, smiling. “I understand the need for validation, but he won’t be getting any from me.”

Jay bravely handles the three drunkards the whole way home, letting you and Sunghoon hang behind and carry on talking. You reach the boy’s apartment first, and yours five minutes later. But when you reach your front door, Minjeong announces she needs to talk to Sunghoon. “Privately,” she emphasizes.

You give Sunghoon an amused look and shrug as if to say “She’s your problem now.” He doesn’t have time to protest before you’ve bid him goodnight and disappeared behind the door, Yunjin and Chaewon in tow, yelling good night at Sunghoon like they’re not going to see him for months. 

Minjeong places her palms flat onto Sunghoon’s torso and looks right at him—to the best of her ability, at least, considering she’s having a hard time focusing her eyes. “Sunghoon,” she says gravely.

“Minjeong?”

“Listen, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” she says, slurring her words. “You know I love Y/N, she’s amazing…”

“Yeah, she is,” Sunghoon says firmly—already, he can tell where this is going, and he doesn’t like it.

“But she’s not the best with relationships.”

“What do you mean?”

Minjeong’s hands drop by her sides and she exhales deeply. “I’ve just never seen her in a committed relationship in the-in the almost four years I’ve known her. She never lets things get serious. She’s just so afraid of being hurt, Hoon, and I-” 

A hiccup escapes Minjeong’s lips as tears start pooling in her eyes. Sunghoon has only ever seen Minjeong cry when drunk—even movies that had him sobbing barely made her eyes water. Even if she isn’t in her right state of mind, he knows it means this must be important to her. He holds her arms and tries to put on the most reassuring tone he can. “But I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“No, I know that. I’m scared you’d get hurt. I don’t want things to become weird between all of us.”

Sunghoon shakes his head. “Minjeong, what-that wouldn’t happen.”

“But it will!” she exclaimed. “If something happens with you and her, and it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, it’ll make things awkward-”

“If that happens,” he interrupts, “I’ll deal with it. I won’t make it your guys’ problem. Y/N and I are adults, okay?”

“You’re like, nineteen…”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t worry about it, okay? It’ll be fine.” He takes a step back and opens the door for her to get in. 

She’s only on the first stair when she turns back around. “But, Hoon-” she tries, though he cuts her off.

“Minjeong, I promise-”

“Just don’t rush into anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Go inside.” 

She complies, giving him one last look before climbing the stairs to her apartment. Sunghoon closes the door behind her, a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

--

Sunghoon is on his way home from hockey practice when his phone buzzes with a text from you.

yn are you still up for doing something this week?

He almost throws his phone in the air in celebration, as if it was a graduation cap. His Sunday was spent going back-and-forth between lapidating himself for his drunken stupidity, memories, rough as stones, hitting him in the face every time he thought of what he said and how he acted, and congratulating himself for having finally made his feelings for you somewhat clearer. Hopefully, you now know he isn’t just awkward and silent around new people—well, he is, but it’s worse with you.

She never lets things get serious.

Minjeong’s warnings echo in his head as he types a positive — although not over-enthusiastic, ‘cause that’d be uncool — answer, but he dismisses them easily. Perhaps he shouldn’t; Sunghoon is, after all, incredibly serious about any and all romantic encounters. The girl at the grocery store who reached for the same red bell pepper as him was the most serious thing to him in the world for a good ten minutes; all of his school crushes were of utmost importance to him, however long they had lasted.

So this? This is capital-s Serious. But therein lies the problem; he’s so serious about you that he’d let you not make it serious. If Minjeong is right, and you’re not planning on taking this nearly as far as he wishes for it to go, he can already tell he’ll just let you. He’ll probably be happy you wanted anything to do with him at all. 

He has ways of reassuring himself, of convincing himself he isn’t a totally lost cause. Because when Sunghoon falls in love — and he had an inkling this was what this was — it usually goes as quickly as it came. Who’s to say this time next week he won’t have completely moved on? Maybe this date that he’s agreed to will go horribly wrong, you’ll be rude to the waiter, you’ll spill tomato sauce all over your shirt, and the flame in his heart will be put out. Easy as that.

You decide to meet on Wednesday evening, two days from now. Sunghoon suggests a Japanese restaurant he likes, a place he had gone to with his mom and sister when they had dropped him off at university before his first year, and that he knows is nice enough for a date but won’t burn a hole through his wallet.

Seeing you at the library the day before is a real thrill. Nobody but you knows of your plans—at least not until he caves in and tells Jay about it, who congratulates him with a roll of his eyes and a pat on the head. All of your eye contact feels loaded with the kind of complicity that comes with sharing a secret. As much as he would love boasting about it to every soul who’d listen, this secrecy electrifies him—it binds the two of you with something much more real than before. At least, more real than Sunghoon’s imagination and one-sided feelings. He knows that your text wasn’t in any way a confession of your own feelings for him, but it’s a step in the right direction.

In the few hours before your reservation at seven p.m., Sunghoon spends so much time thinking about the date that he’s almost late for it. He thinks about his expectations, then tries to get rid of them; he comes up with ideas of what your expectations might be, remembers Minjeong’s words, dismisses them, remembers them again; he goes through scenarios upon scenarios of everything that might go wrong and everything that might go spectacularly well. He ends up with less than twenty minutes to get ready, but manages to arrive at the restaurant a minute before you.

When he sees you approaching, Sunghoon feels like one of those boys in Disney movies as they watch their girlfriend coming down the stairs in her prom dress. You’re not wearing an over-the-top poofy purple dress, but the effect is the same—his eyes are glued on you with every step you take towards him.

You grab him by the arm and lead him into the restaurant as soon as you reach him. He’s too busy taking in your appearance to be bothered by it. “Don’t look at me like that,” you chide as you wait for waiting staff to seat you. He’d actually think you were mad at him if it wasn’t for the small smile playing on your lips.

“Like what?”

“Like what you’re doing right now! You’re staring.”

Realization slowly dawns on him; your gazes have made him lose his composure too many times for him not to know what being flustered looks like. He’d be lying if the fact that it was you in this tight spot and not him didn’t heavily stroke his ego. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You look beautiful,” he says, dropping his voice to a whisper so that the approaching waitress can’t hear. Her presence saves you from responding verbally, but as she brings you to your table, you pinch his arm lightly as if to say Be on your best behavior—although Sunghoon would argue this was his best behavior.

You have trouble making up your mind about the food—you want to try everything on the menu. Sunghoon tentatively offers to order a bunch of dishes and share them. “It’s what my family always does at the restaurant, just try as much as you want and take the leftovers to go. We never ate out very often because my mom would spend so much money every time,” he recollects, smiling fondly.

“That actually sounds like a dream. My parents would never do that. It was always just eat what you got, but I’m unable to look at someone else’s food and not want to try it. It honestly should just be common practice to share dishes at the restaurant.”

Sunghoon thinks he could get down on one knee right then and there. Whenever they went out to eat, the boys would roll his eyes at him when he stole bites of their food. But you—you’re like him. He knows he’s prone to over-exaggeration, but he can’t help but feel like if you understand each other on this, you must understand each other at a molecular level.

He had expected a level of awkwardness to your date, at least at the beginning — God knows the moments in which he doesn’t feel like a mumbling fool in front of you are few and far between — but to his surprise, everything goes smoothly. There is no uncomfortable silence, all his jokes miraculously land, even the lousy ones, and you both laugh and talk and share sushi and pork cutlets like it’s the most natural thing in the world, which perhaps it is. His attempts at flirting are well-received and he only turns violently red twice when you compliment him and smile at him in a particularly pretty way.

It’s that day at the beach all over again. Always on the same page, you dip in and out of topics with a synergy he has rarely felt before. Sunghoon realizes it must be the presence of others, rather than you yourself, that makes him feel like he can’t act the way he wants to around you, makes him so nervous. Save for the moments where you make his heart flutter like a thousand butterflies’ wings, he actually feels quite at ease with you, all things considered. Of course, he still tries — and fails — to look cool for you, but he knows it comes from a place within himself rather than because you make him feel as though he has to meet a certain standard. Surprisingly, he can be totally himself, and it seems to be enough for you.

He loves his friends. He wouldn’t trade them for the world. But he’s not sure he won’t have moments where he’ll wish nothing more than for them all to go away and leave the two of you be.

You eat until you can’t anymore and are still left with enough food for another full meal. You only let him get the bill once he’s promised that next time will be on you. If it means there’ll be a next time, he’s more than happy with making that promise. The sun has set when you exit the restaurant. Sunghoon shivers as he steps outside, the temperature having gone down by at least four degrees in the last two hours.

You grab his hand; it warms him right up.

Your apartment is a thirty-minute bus ride away, but Sunghoon offers to walk you home. Anything to spend more time with you.

He spends the first few minutes of the walk worrying about his hand, whether it’s too clammy, whether it’s holding yours right, but he eventually relaxes into the touch. When a particularly chilly gust of wind blows, you drop his hand and hold onto his arm instead, inching closer to him for more warmth.  He only drank lemonade with his meal, but he feels blissfully light-headed.

Silence only arrives when you reach your doorstep. You stand in front of each other, Sunghoon looking down at his feet, you gazing out at the empty street. He knows this is the moment where he is supposed to kiss you. If there was a step-by-step guide on how to date — there probably is, but Sunghoon hasn’t resorted to such loser-like measures yet — this would probably be the moment where it would be written to just kiss her, you idiot. But nerves get the best of him.

At least, you’re there to save the day. You direct your gaze towards him, a bashful smile playing on your lips. “So… are you gonna kiss me now?” you ask, essentially reading his mind. 

He reacts immediately. “Y-yep. Yes. I am.” Heart racing, he takes a step towards you as he rests his hands on your waist. Then he changes his mind, and brings one hand up to your cheek. There’s an eyelash that has fallen below your eye; he brushes it out of the way with his thumb before leaning in and pressing his lips against yours.

In all of his late-night scenarios and daydreams of kissing you, he had never imagined something as good as this. You find your rhythm within seconds. It’s slow, almost hesitant, yet so tender, it makes Sunghoon’s heart ache. As your lips move against each other in perfect sync, as your hands find their way around Sunghoon’s neck, he realizes he should have known — this will not go away as quickly as it came.

Only when you grab a fistful of his hair, making him react viscerally and wrap his arm around your waist to bring you closer to him, does he remember where the two of you are. He leans back, then almost passes out when you chase his lips and press a shorter but just as sweet kiss there. He commits this view to memory—the smile on your lips, the glow on your face, the haziness in your eyes.

“Do you wanna come up?”

“Yes,” he replies immediately, and it makes you laugh. You grab his hand and lead him up the stairs and into your apartment.

“Are the girls in?” he asks as you lock the front door.

“Minjeong is at karaoke with her school friends, and Yunjin and Chaewon are at a dinner party somewhere.”

“Minjeong karaokes?”

“Get enough G&Ts in her and she’ll do anything.”

You turn on a small lamp in your room and take off your jacket. Sunghoon has been in your apartment before, but never in your room—at some point, he’ll spend an hour observing every photograph and trinket in detail, asking you about every backstory, but right now, he’s got more important things to tend to. His heart beats uncontrollably as you shut the door to your room and walk towards him, eyes gazing deeply into his. The corners of your lips rise when you tug at the bottom of his sweatshirt, a clear indicator that you want it off. He wastes no time in obliging.

The air is buzzing with electricity when your lips find each other again. You’re both more confident this time around, and so the kiss is deeper, your touches bolder. Everything happens quickly—one second, you’re standing in the middle of your room; the next, you’re laying on your bed, Sunghoon underneath you. 

“You know,” he says between kisses, “I’d really planned on being a gentleman and not going up to your room after the first date…”

Your lips move from his lips to his jawline, warm and soft against his skin. Sunghoon closes his eyes and lets out a low hum of approval. “I’m glad you changed your mind,” you whisper, lips brushing against his neck as you speak. “And since we’re onto confessions, I can finally say I’ve been wanting to do this since we met.”

This information sends his mind reeling. Not once had he been sure of how you felt about him — he even remembers you saying no to a kiss — and here you are, saying you’ve been wanting to kiss him since the beginning, just like he had. 

“You’re me,” he replies breathlessly.

“Hm?”

“I mean, me too.”

You pause your kisses to giggle, a sound so soft and intimate it has Sunghoon melting impossibly more. “You’re me?”

Unfortunately, he is too preoccupied by you to put a filter between the weird, half-formed thoughts in his brain and the words that leave his mouth. “Don’t question it,” he says, a smile audible in his voice, before moving his head and catching your lips. If he couldn’t stop himself from saying odd things, he could at least distract you from them.

Sunghoon thinks he’s doing a good job keeping himself together, until you roll your hips against his. It’s barely anything, but it sends waves of pleasure and anticipation through his body. His grip on your waist tightens, and when you repeat the motion, his hands sneakily find their way down your back and under your dress. Palms splayed against your ass, he brings you down closer to him. The second you moan into the kiss, he’s a goner. 

After that, it doesn’t take long for clothes to be discarded or for curious fingers to find the other’s waistbands. Your movements are hasty, messy—the tension that had built up over weeks of pining for you, after getting close to kissing you twice and thinking about it a hundred times more, it all comes crashing down in this moment, as his teeth sink into the flesh of your neck, as your hands pull at strands of his hair, as your bodies gently bump into each other. If someone asked Sunghoon right now how long he’d known you, he’d say years, not mere weeks. It couldn’t possibly be real that this much desire had accumulated inside of him — and inside of you, if your broken moans and rapid breathing are anything to go by — in just over a month. 

He only slows down when he has you naked and heaving underneath him, reminding himself to savor the moment instead of rushing it. His fingertips graze down your sides until they reach between your thighs, and he marvels at the way his touch makes you shiver. His eyes are so wide with amazement at the sight of you that he probably looks like he’s never seen a woman before, but he can’t help himself—he always thought you were beautiful, but this is something else entirely. 

His first touch is hesitant, a slow upward motion of his thumb between your folds as if quite literally testing the waters. But it has you arching your back and gripping his bicep, meeting his eyes to silently plead for more. Sunghoon takes that as his green light, thumb circling your clit as his lips continue their work on your neck, on your face, everywhere they can reach. He slips a finger inside of you, then a second one, and when he is satisfied with the state he’s gotten you in, all disheveled and gasping for air, he replaces his fingers with his dick, rock-hard just from seeing and hearing you.

He slowly inches forward until he’s bottomed out, letting you adjust around him. “All good?” he whispers, lips moving against the shell of your ear.

“Never better,” you whisper back, smiling. You kiss him, and the tenderness of your lips on his, mixed with the feeling of being inside you, has Sunghoon’s heart constricting inside his chest. He starts rocking his hips back-and-forth into you, the side of his face is pressed up against yours, head light from the little oxygen the two of you share. It all feels oddly intimate for a first time, feels more like the kind of sex two people would have after years of knowing each other’s bodies. He moves like it’s second nature, thrusts deep and slow, trying to reach those spots that have your hands clawing at his back. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, using his free hand to push the hair that sticks to your face with sweat.

You wrap your legs higher around his hips, the shift in angle letting him go deeper. “Fuck, right there,” you say, voice strangled. Sunghoon doesn’t need to be told twice—he picks up his pace, and already within a minute, starts to feel himself reaching his limit. He tries to muffle his groans against your skin, but with the way your hold on him tightens and your moans go higher in pitch, you seem to be just as close as he is. When you do come undone around him, breath hitching in your throat before you release a heavy sigh, he has mere seconds left in him. A few thrusts later, his orgasm finally releases him from the tension that had been twisting his stomach into a knot for the past half-hour. You’re both spent, but he continues lazily rocking his hips against yours chasing the last remnants of pleasure, wanting to bask in it just a bit longer. He rolls onto his back after sliding out, wrapping his arms around you. You bury your face in the crook of his neck.

His chest rises and falls as his breathing takes its time returning to normal. In a way, he’s almost relieved it’s over, like any longer would’ve actually taken too much of a toll on him. He likes the comfort he gets from having you in his arms as much as the sex itself. “I didn’t know it could feel this good,” he says, the words spilling out of his mouth before he can stop them. He needs more than a few minutes to get his head back on straight and start thinking before he speaks again. You chuckle airily, he chuckles too, and within seconds, you’re both laughing for seemingly no reason. The bliss of such an intense orgasm and the lack of oxygen must have gone to your brain, too.

“Me either,” you say once the laughter dies down. When your lips find his once more, Sunghoon forgets entirely about his exhaustion and feels like he could go for a second round. “Shower?” you ask right when he realizes how sticky and smelly he is.

“Yes, please.”

He can’t keep his hands off of you in the shower, rubbing soap on every square inch of your skin when you could do it perfectly fine yourself, kissing you even when you’ve both got foaming cleanser on your faces. The taste of soap in his mouth is worth the giggles he gets out of you.

Sunghoon reaches heaven when you drop to your knees in front of him, water rushing down his back as you take him in your mouth. He’s eager to return the favor, of course, thumb flicking your clit with a speed and dexterity even he didn’t know he was capable of. If you weren’t already in the shower, you’d have needed another one.

As soon as your bodies hit the mattress, you both drift off to sleep, limbs wrapping around each other as though they had been separated for too long and finally found each other again—not to let go again.

--

When Sunghoon wakes up, it takes him a few seconds to realize that he hadn’t dreamt up last night’s events. He reaches a hand out hesitantly, still half-asleep and scared that you’ll disappear into thin air at the touch of his fingertips. But no—he feels your skin, warm and soft, and he knows this is real.

You’re laying on your side, facing away from him, so he has to strain his neck to peek at your face. You look so peaceful as you sleep—he doesn’t want to wake you up, but he can’t stop himself from wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing his torso against your back, humming contentedly to himself. He presses a soft, quiet kiss to the top of your head, just because he can.

Outside, clouds part, and a bright ray of sun shines through the window, landing right on your face. Sunghoon watches as you grumble and turn around, burying your face in his chest to avoid the blinding light, but the damage is done—you’re awake. He can tell from the drawled-out whine you let out and the way you grab tightly onto his waist, as if it was his fault the sun had decided to shine right on you. 

He lets you settle in a comfortable position. Stays still as you hike your leg over his legs, then slip it between them instead; as you press your cheek against his chest, then bury your nose in his neck; as you wrap your arm around his waist, then move it to thread your fingers through his hair, until you give up on falling back asleep altogether. “It’s so bright in here,” you mumble in lieu of a good-morning greeting.

You can’t see him, so Sunghoon smiles and tightens his grip around you—one arm circling your shoulders, the other, your waist. Skin to skin. “We forgot to close the blinds yesterday.”

“It’s okay,” you say, sighing. You press a kiss to the base of his neck, right between his collarbones, then lift your face to look at him. “How are you feeling?”

This is what it feels like to wake up next to her, Sunghoon thinks. He’d thought about it so many times: what you would look like first thing in the morning, what you’d say to him, what it’d feel like when your eyes met. If you’d be a slow sort of morning person, cuddling in bed with him until the very last possible second, or if you’d be up and about as soon as you woke up. If you’d be grumpy. If you’d want coffee. If you liked morning sex. 

It seems to be a recurring theme that Sunghoon’s imagination never quite lives up to reality. Your sleepy eyes boring into his, struggling to stay open, your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck; your skin, so warm and so soft, your scent, so intoxicating he can barely think straight.

You’re better than a dream.

“I feel great. Do you feel great?”

“I feel amazing, thank you so much for asking,” you say, burrowing yourself impossibly closer to him.

The two of you stay like this for a while, talking about your plans for the day and begrudging how little you want to go about them. Sunghoon wishes this could go on forever, but then his stomach growls so loudly, his face turns red from embarrassment. He hadn’t even noticed how hungry he was. 

“You’re me,” you say, laughing, and Sunghoon can’t help but join in. “Is it crazy to have last night’s leftovers for breakfast?”

What Sunghoon hears is that you want him to stay; that you don’t want to part ways just yet.

“If by crazy you mean the best idea ever, then yes.”

“Amazing, because I’ve been thinking about that curry all night.”

“Really? I was thinking about something else,” he says, burrowing his face in your neck and leaving warm kisses there. 

You hum and lean into his touches, leaning into his touches. Chills run down his spine as your nails graze his sides. “There might’ve been other things occupying my mind, too.”

And just like that, breakfast is postponed to thirty minutes later.

--

After that night, Sunghoon forgets how to act right.

His mind has never been so singularly taken up by sex in all of his life. It was already preoccupied with you most of the time, but now that it has more material to gnaw on, it’s practically started to eat away at him. It doesn’t help that you’ve seen each other every day since, or that at every chance you get, you smile knowingly at him or try to get him to play footsies with you. Of course, he loves every bit of attention that he gets from you, but whenever he feels his heart get carried away, Minjeong’s words come back to him in a panic, and he remembers that he has no idea what it is that’s happening between you and him. You could be stringing him along, for all he knows, or you could be as into him as he is into you and just letting things happen. Unfortunately, just letting things happen was not something Sunghoon was good at—if things weren’t written black and white, he’d find a way to overthink even the littlest of details. Like how you’d kissed him for a good five minutes before letting him leave your apartment, otherwise known as the least platonic parting to exist, or conversely, like how you’d sometimes take hours to reply to texts.

If he was already a mumbling fool in front of you before, his condition has only worsened now. He tries his best to be normal and not make you or anyone in the group feel weird, but the fact is that you rocked his world and now he can’t look you in the eyes and not remember how it felt when you touched him or the sounds you made or the way you looked. It’s all playing in a loop in his mind and the only way he knows how to control it is by limiting his interactions with you, which doesn’t even work that well. 

The first couple days, you seem amused by his shyer-than-usual demeanor, but you quickly grow confused more than anything. Sunghoon won’t sit next to you, only speaks to you when necessary, doesn’t seek you out outside of a group setting. He tells himself he just needs some more time to be able to be around you casually again, but before that happens, one day at the library, you make a point to ask him if he’ll come help you get drinks for everyone from the dispenser machine. He knows it’d be too odd to say no, so he follows you.

He presses the buttons for everyone’s order (a Sprite for him, Diet Cokes for the girls, a Red Bull for Jake who has a midterm tomorrow and nothing for Jay who only swears by his disgusting herbal infusion) as you lean against the machine, arms crossed over your chest as you stare at him.

He has never felt so awkward in his life.

“So…” he starts although he has no idea what to say—he hopes something will just appear in his mind and that it’ll alleviate the tension. However, you seem to have other plans.

“What the hell, Sunghoon?” you say, taking him aback. When he glances at you, you don’t seem angry—just genuinely confused. “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague.”

“I haven’t!”

“Sunghoon,” you say sternly. He gives in right away.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just-I didn’t know what to do. After we, you know…”

“After we had sex?” you say, then burst into laughter when he looks around the room to make sure no one’s heard. His cheeks heat up.

“Yes, after we had sex,” he whispers.

He pays for the drinks and picks them up. When he looks at you again, your smile has completely died down, and worry has settled into your features. “Do you regret it?” you ask, voice now as low as his. As if it hurts to say the words too loud.

Panic overcomes him, and he almost drops half of the drinks as he shakes his head. “No, of course not! I’m really sorry, Y/N, I never meant to be weird about it, I was just trying to wrap my head around everything, and I just… Well, I just didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

You nod, taking his words in. “That’s fine. I get it. I just wanted to say, you know, it doesn’t have to change anything. We can still be friends and all. Like you said, it shouldn’t make things weird.”

Sunghoon’s stomach drops. He knows you’re trying to make him feel better, but you’ve inadvertently said the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. He doesn’t want things to stay the same, or for you to stay friends. For him, things can’t go back to normal after that night — whatever normal means for the two of you — and he was foolishly hoping that you felt the same.

But clearly, you want to let the whole thing die and pretend like it never happened. And whether it’s a good thing or not, his feelings for you have grown so much, he’ll just let you lead him anywhere. Even if that turns out to be nowhere. 

So he conjures up the most convincing smile he can, hands you half of the drinks to carry, and says, “Yeah, sounds good.”

--

After that conversation, Sunghoon doesn’t think anything else will happen between the two of you. You had sex, you talked it out, and that’s the end of it. But then, it turns out that both of your last midterms are at the same time, in the same building, so you invite him to celebrate with pork belly and some drinks. Sunghoon is finishing his second beer when he starts to feel like he’s on that date again, laughing for no reason, butterflies in his stomach every time his gaze catches yours. You lean on your hand as you listen to him talk about a stupid memory from his childhood and he thinks he’s never seen anyone as pretty as you. 

The sun has long set when you say, “You know, it’s Wednesday today.”

He’s not sure what you’re trying to get at. “Yeah?”

“Minjeong’s out at karaoke tonight.”

With these simple words, all the images of you that Sunghoon had finally managed to banish from his mind come flooding back, and he is not even surprised to find himself half-naked in your bed thirty minutes later. So much for staying friends—one time is one thing, but Sunghoon knows he’ll never be normal again after a second time with you.

It’s not a long time before he finds himself in your room again. Every item of clothing between the two of you is gradually discarded while you kiss, lips growing more impatient with every inch of bare skin uncovered. He reluctantly lets you go when you suddenly giggle and say that you really need to pee, watching as you grab his t-shirt off the floor and put it on, just in case Minjeong comes home. You wear it like it’s yours, like it’s the most natural thing in the world that you’d be wearing his clothes. An indescribable feeling washes over Sunghoon at the sight, so intense he feels tears welling behind his eyes. Like something he’s been yearning for is finally at the grasp of his fingers; like it might slip away at any moment. 

His feelings must’ve transpired in the way he was looking at you—when you meet his eyes, your expression shifts slightly, and you quickly slip out of your room. He tells himself to reel it in. Get it together, he thinks. Or you’ll drive her away. 

A wave of tiredness hits him in the minute that you’re gone, probably due to all that soju and beer. “I’m back,” you whisper, but he doesn’t move, only opens his arms wide for you to get back into bed with him. It’s like a weight is lifted off his heart when he feels you against him again. You’re back. Your face is fresh, as if you’d splashed it with cold water, but when he slips one of his hands underneath your (his) t-shirt, your skin is still just as warm as before. Far from the fuzzy, tingly feeling he had gotten when you’d woken up together the other morning, now, he feels his desire for you deep in the pit of his stomach. The kind of hunger food couldn’t satisfy. “I missed you,” he whispers, voice low and gravelly. He reacts immediately when you squirm against him, tightening his grip around your waist and pulling you to him.

“I was gone two minutes.”

“I mean these past few days. I was starting to think I’d dreamt you up.” His hand on your lower back sneaks its way up between your bodies until it finds your breasts, cupping one of them with his palm before taking your nipple between his thumb and index, gently twisting. It pulls a half-gasp, half-moan from your throat, and the sound goes straight to his dick. “But you’re real, aren’t you?” 

“Very real,” you reply, a tremor in your voice. He’s barely touching you, and you’re already having trouble breathing. Sunghoon smiles at the idea of him having as much of a hold on you as you do on him.

“Good,” he says, voice so low it’s almost a growl. In one quick sweep, he pushes you down so your back is against the mattress, resting his palms on each side of your head.

He’s inside you within mere minutes. He’d wanted to hold back a bit, but you whispering Just put it in after thirty seconds of his fingers loosening you up was enough to convince him. His mind is already fuzzy with remnants of alcohol, and his overwhelming desire for you only makes matters worse. He barely has any control over his movements, rushed and sloppy, but as he drives himself deeper into you, your moans increase in volume. He only later realizes how tight his grip on your hips is when he sees two small bruises forming on the skin there. 

He comes quickly, probably embarrassingly so, but he can’t bring himself to care—he’s got other things on his mind. He’s not even bothered to discard the condom as he makes his way down your body, lips around your clit before you’ve even had the time to register what was happening. You cry out, a sound that Sunghoon works to pry out of you over and over again. Even when your thighs start shaking and you squirm away from him, he doesn’t relent. He’s just as desperate to make you feel good as he was desperate chasing his own pleasure earlier. He hooks his arms around your thighs, bringing you down to him and ensuring that you can’t get away. One hand still in his hair, the other clutching the bed sheets, you’ve turned your face sideways into the pillow so that your moans come out muffled. He is only satisfied when you’ve reached your second orgasm. 

As your breath slowly returns to normal, Sunghoon makes his way back up your body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. You clear your throat of its dryness and burst into soft, quiet laughter. “What’s funny?” Sunghoon murmurs, lips against your neck. 

“Nothing,” you say, still laughing. “That was just really, really nice.”

Sunghoon smiles. “I’m glad,” he says before kissing you, lips moving slowly against yours.

As he lays against you, the top of his head under your chin and your fingernails grazing along his back, a weird feeling overcomes him. Sunghoon is usually a pine-from-afar sort of guy, with at least five instances of hanging out that could or could not be a date before making things any sort of official. The pining has been a constant with all of his crushes. He’s gotten to the hanging out stage a couple of times, but the officialising has only happened once. Despite its low success rate, it’s a cycle Sunghoon feels comfortable with, and he’d imagined the rest of his romantic encounters would follow that pattern. 

But this is completely different. Of the three times you guys have met separately from your friend group, already two times have included sex. This isn’t a stage Sunghoon usually reaches before at least a few months and it disorientates him. What does it mean? That you like him so much, you decided to skip all of the steps and jump straight into the thick of it? He is reasonable enough not to delude himself into such a thought. He likes you a lot—that much he can be sure of. He’s liked you since the moment he laid eyes on you, even if the reason eludes him. Something in the way you smiled at him, the way you took him in stride as if you’d known him forever. When he thinks back to that party, he can’t believe it started out as the two of you being strangers. Even now, feeling your warm skin against his, it feels like a lie that just two months ago he hadn’t even met you. 

What he can’t say with total certainty is that you like him the same amount. Or that you like him any amount, really, although in his naivety he doesn’t understand how anyone could be this intimate with another person without liking them at least a little bit. And he doesn’t just mean the sex. He means this. The silently laying in each other’s arms, the soft kisses, the caresses wherever hands can reach. Eating post-sex snacks together, laughing as you watch the first episode of each other’s favorite sitcoms (Brooklyn Nine-Nine for him, Pen15, oddly enough, for you). Falling asleep together, cuddling the entire night then waking up and diving right back into each other’s embrace. 

After an entire day spent in rumination, Sunghoon’s still not sure what to make of it all.

All he knows is that when he DMs you that night, asking you how your day went, he goes through every emotion between anxiety, self-hatred and indifference in the five minutes that separate his text from your reply. He’s never been so happy to hear that someone couldn’t concentrate in class because of him.

--

Sunghoon has always been obsessed with the way couples stand together in public. 

Every time, it takes everything in him not to stare, because he wants to take in every little thing they do. He has that practically everywhere he goes, wanting to stare at people just to see what their deal is, but he is never quite as simultaneously fascinated and envious as when he spots a couple. But he knows staring isn’t the socially appropriate thing to do, so he either steals glances or watches for a little bit then pretends they aren’t there. He can’t help himself—even if they aren’t holding hands or obnoxiously making out in public, it’s still visible to anyone with eyes that there is something tying these people together. It’s in the way they stand near each other, their bodies turned inwardly, as though enveloped by a bubble containing just the two of them and no one else; in the way they look at each other, their eyes never straying from the other’s face as they talk, intimacy showing itself even in a loud, crowded room. Sunghoon craves to find that proximity, to be able to touch and be touched so softly, every graze of a hand purposeful and unconscious at the same time.

It’s the first of November already. The Weather app, as it tends to do, has deceived you; so instead of a walk on what was supposed to be a sunny day, you find yourselves in a busy café near the University, the air outside too chilly even with your scarves and gloves. You’re waiting for your order at the end of the counter — a mocha for him, an oat flat white for you — when he notices it. Your body is fully facing him, you’re distractedly playing with the hem of his sweatshirt, and you’re not looking at anything but him as you rant about that annoying classmate of yours that goes by a self-made nickname and always talks over the tutor. In this light, the two of you are like the couples he’s always longed to be—the simple thought makes him want to cry. As more and more often is the case these days, you have no idea what you’re doing to him.

It’s been around two months since you first met and in that time, although Sunghoon is lucky not to have enough fingers to count the number of times you have seen each other one-on-one, not much has happened. Minjeong, who had understood what was going on the first time she saw the two of you eating leftovers from the Japanese restaurant on the couch at 10 a.m., has grown accustomed to his presence in the apartment and even sometimes sits down to watch a movie with the two of you—a movie that Chaewon would usually have forced you to watch in the living room instead of the privacy of your bedroom, so that everyone could join. Sunghoon is just glad Minjeong has stopped silently scolding him with her eyes every time he comes out of your room. She never mentions that night when she essentially warned him against you after the party. 

Jake seems to be the only oblivious one in your group. Yunjin and Chaewon have eyes like hawks and horrifyingly vivid imaginations when they put their heads together, so they were probably already making plans for your wedding and fighting for the title of godmother when you and Sunghoon met at the beginning-of-semester party. They cornered him once at a party and forced him to spill the beans and spare no detail, because you apparently were “denying everything, but we know there’s something going on.” Jay is still Sunghoon’s go-to person when he needs advice concerning you, although the older boy doesn’t understand why it has to be so complicated and always tells him to “just tell her how you feel,” which Sunghoon will not do unless there is a gun to his head. But Jake just seems happy to see his friend and his sister get along this well—no matter how many times you wear his jacket at their games or disappear at the same time at the end of parties, he doesn’t grow suspicious. If he does, he doesn’t mention it to Sunghoon, at least.

Between the two of you, not a word is spoken about the nature of your relationship, which remains unbearingly undefined. For a while, he weakly convinces himself that he doesn’t need to have that conversation with you. He’s young, he’s free, he should be able to enjoy casual sex without putting a label on it. The main problem, though, was that the sex could not be further from casual, at the very least not to Sunghoon.

He has never known anything quite like it. In mere weeks, you’ve both mastered the art of pleasuring each other. He understands your body like it’s his, knows what each of the sounds and expressions you make means. He knows where to touch you to have a kiss go from light-hearted to dizzyingly intense, how to move his mouth to have you arching your back and holding onto him for dear life. And you—he thinks your skin must be laced with cocaine, the way he can never get enough of it. 

But it’s always the moments afterwards that get him in his head. To him, casual sex means getting dressed the minute it’s over and going off to do other things, which is the absolute opposite of what you do. Whether it’s falling asleep together or spending Sundays in bed, you always stay together afterwards, curled up in each other’s arms as you talk away the hours, conversations interspersed with slow, lazy kisses. He’ll say things like, “You’re so pretty,” or “Why do you smell so good?” because he’s so smitten with you that he can never stop himself from uttering every compliment that flashes through his brain, but the things he really wants to say are harder to speak out loud. Even just a What are we?—three simple words that he can’t bring himself to ask, too scared it’ll ruin everything. 

Arguably worse is that sex isn’t even a requirement for when you and Sunghoon see each other. He goes on walks with you whenever you’ve spent too much time in the library and need some fresh air. You go shopping with him when his department throws a fundraiser and he needs a formal outfit. He cooks you your favorite meal when your period is particularly nasty. You sneak into the ice rink after his practice and let him ‘teach’ you how to skate, even though you already learned how with Jake when you were kids. Even mundane moments become fun when spent with you, and you share so many hobbies and interests that you never run out of things to do or talk about.

And yet, it feels like one step forward, two steps back with you—if you let him close one night, you’ll run away the next. A week will pass without you seeing each other outside of the library or group hang-outs, and if Sunghoon asks you out, you’ll say no, usually blaming the amount of work you have. He gets it—due to the nature of your degree and your being a fourth-year student, your workload is much heavier than his, with essays, translations and oral presentations due every other week. And that’s not even including midterms and finals. But still, he doesn’t see why you would need to stay at the library for ten hours straight for days on end. He’d start worrying about your health if you didn’t at least relax on weekends. 

So while Sunghoon wants nothing more than to go all in with you, he senses you holding back. He notices you avoiding eye contact during particularly intimate moments, and when you look at him perhaps too fondly for your liking, you quickly catch yourself and resume your neutral, sometimes almost cold expression. When he tries to broach more personal, sensitive topics, you always find a way to change the subject or turn the conversation towards him before you get too deep. 

As time passes, and especially as exam season nears, he can tell there’s something that you’re not telling him about. His suspicions are confirmed when you come back from a weekend at your parents’ house. He’s also been away for an out-of-town hockey game, and because he hasn’t had much time to text you (and because their team won, so he wants to show off a little), he’s particularly looking forward to seeing you again that Monday. It’s only been three days since you’ve last seen each other, but he misses you like crazy. 

But the minute you’re back, you bury yourself in work like never before, often waking up at ungodly hours and staying at the library until midnight. More than once, he stays behind with you, long after the others have gone, reminding you gently every hour that it might be time to go home and get some rest. The moments you actually agree are few and far between, and although he sticks it out at first, sleeping with his head on the table until you tell him you’re ready to go, your stubbornness soon starts frustrating him, and he ends up leaving when he gets too tired. He knows this is important to you, but he doesn’t understand why you have to go to these lengths—you’d still easily be one of the best students in your class without all this exertion. And despite his many attempts, you won’t tell him what’s wrong, won’t even admit that something is wrong—you keep repeating that “it’s just what exam season is like.”

When he asks your friends about it, they seem just as confused as he is. One evening when you have plans to order some food and watch a movie at your apartment, he shows up at the agreed time, but you’re nowhere to be found. Thankfully, the girls are there to let him up and not leave him standing outside in the rain. You don’t pick up when he calls you and call him back a minute later, apologizing profusely but still saying that there’s something you really need to finish first. If it was only a one-time thing, it wouldn’t make him as angry as it does—but this has been going on for almost two weeks now, and Sunghoon is close to boiling point. 

The fact that it’s been months since your date at the Japanese restaurant, and the only thing that you’ve said about what was happening between you and Sunghoon “didn’t have to change anything.” The fact that you’re essentially each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend without the label or the reassurance that comes with it. The fact that there’s something clearly bothering you but that you won’t tell him about it. The fact that this something is effectively coming between the two of you. Sunghoon was originally more worried about you than anything—now that studying has taken obvious precedence over him in your list of priorities, he’d be lying if he said his ego wasn’t wounded. He isn’t asking to be the number one most important thing in your life, and he knew before even meeting you that high academic performance meant a lot to you, but he likes to think he deserves at least a little bit of your time and attention. 

Except, does he really? It’s not like you’re actually dating.

There’s a pang in his heart as he remembers this fact that he should never have forgotten in the first place. It hurts—and so perhaps, he’s less patient than he ought to be.

“Whatever, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, just let me know when you have time for something other than getting As.”

He hangs up and meets your flatmates’ worried eyes. 

“She still at the library?” Chaewon asks, tone delicate as if trying not to scare off a wounded animal. Sunghoon nods, a deep sigh escaping his mouth. 

“She always studies a lot,” Minjeong starts, “but this is something else.”

“Have you guys tried saying something?”

The girls nod. “Even Jake has talked to her, but she won’t listen. And he usually always gets to her,” Minjeong says. 

He goes home soon afterwards and spends the rest of his evening in rumination, torn between his worry and his anger towards you—emotions which only increase as more days pass, and he sees less and less of you. Your behavior was already concerning while preparing for your exams and final assignments, it gets even worse when exams actually do start. He doesn’t hear from you for an entire week, and the one time you miraculously agree to a short group hang-out in the form of getting coffee, you’re only half there, physically present but mind far, far away. You barely react when the guys tell you about their victory at the latest hockey game—which you didn’t attend, as well as any other game recently. 

No matter how much he tries to put it out of his mind, to focus on his own exams and hockey games, you stay at the forefront of his thoughts. The hockey team is away for another out-of-town game when he decides to broach the subject with Jake, with whom he’s sharing a room. The entire semester, he’s been careful not to raise Jake’s suspicions about the two of you, both out of consideration for you, who’d mentioned you didn’t want your brother to know what was going on, and for himself, who would also rather Jake not know, at least not until your relationship became official. Which it never did. But now that all he gets from you is radio silence at a time when you’d usually be an hour into a FaceTime call, he can’t help himself.

Jake is just coming out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel, when Sunghoon takes his shot in the dark. “Have you heard from Y/N recently?” he asks as nonchalantly as he can, pretending to not be avidly waiting for his friend’s reaction by keeping his eyes on his phone.

“Y/N?” Jake echoes. “No, not really. Why?”

“Just ‘cause I haven’t seen her around much. I’m wondering if everything’s okay.”

“You mean her staying at the library all day?” Sunghoon nods; Jake sighs. “Yeah, she’ll snap out of it soon enough. She gets somewhat like this every time exams come around, but even I have to admit it’s pretty tough this time around. The last time I saw her like this was way back in high school, and that’s because our parents were watching right over her shoulder. It’s been better in university thanks to the distance.”

“So this has to do with your parents?”

“Oh, one hundred percent. She’s always wanted to do well at school, but she only gets this obsessive when our parents are involved.”

“I guess this did start after that weekend when she went home…” Sunghoon muses absent-mindedly. It could’ve passed off as an off-hand remark, but Jake pauses in his movements and looks at him warily.

“Yeah, she did… You noticed that, huh?”

Sunghoon pauses. This whole time, he was sure Jake was oblivious to anything happening between you and him—but he might have underestimated his friend. Like brother, like sister; he can hardly read either of you when he really needs to. Jake might genuinely be surprised that Sunghoon remembered your whereabouts that weekend, or he’s onto him. “I guess I did,” he finally says, going for as noncommittal an answer as he can.

Jake says nothing for a bit, and Sunghoon thinks he’s managed to get through the conversation without raising too much suspicion—until a minute later, when Jake speaks again. “Do you… like Y/N?”

Sunghoon freezes, snapping his head towards Jake, who’s lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. His first instinct is to deny, but there’s no point pretending anymore. It’s one thing keeping it from Jake—lying to him about it is something else entirely. It’s an uncomfortable conversation, but it must be had. “Yeah, I do,” Sunghoon replies, guilt clear in his voice, more because he’s only now admitting it to Jake than because of his feelings themselves.

A shaky breath comes out of Jake’s mouth, as if this was the exact answer he had dreaded. “Right, okay. Since when?”

“Since I met her, basically.”

Jake’s head whips towards Sunghoon, and their gazes meet awkwardly. “Since that party in September?” he asks, shock written all over his face. Sunghoon nods, and to his surprise, Jake bursts out laughing. “Don’t tell me it’s because you accidentally matched costumes?”

Sunghoon looks away, frowning. “That might’ve helped things along,” he mumbles, embarrassment washing over him as Jake’s laughter intensifies. At least he was taking it well—a bit too well, perhaps.

“You’re so predictable, man,” Jake says when he’s calmed down, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“How did you know, anyway?”

“You’ve been pretty obvious with it recently,” Jake replies after a few seconds. “I could tell you were a bit shy around her at first, and when it got better I just thought you’d become friends or something. But when she showed up with your jacket at every game and you never left her side at parties, I assumed something else was going on. You’ve always been staying behind at the library these days, and I know you don’t have that much work.”

Sunghoon chuckles. “I guess I haven’t been trying hard to hide it lately.”

“Yeah, why would you hide it in the first place? You could’ve just told me.”

“I didn’t want to make things weird.”

Jake frowns. “It wouldn’t have been weird. If anything, hiding it makes it weirder.”

“I just thought, if one of my friends had a crush on my sister, I’d probably rather they hid it. Like, I don’t need to know about that,” Sunghoon says, and it makes Jake laugh.

“Dude, Y/N and I are only a year apart. Do you know how many guys have come up to me asking me for her number or advice on how to ask her out? It’s been, like, one every few months since middle school. Guys here especially have no shame telling me how hot they find her.”

Sunghoon makes a face. He doesn’t disagree, but he’d never go out of his way to tell your brother how exquisite you looked in certain outfits. “That’s gross.”

“Yeah, it is. But you’re my friend, not some greasy rando, so I trust you. If anything, I’d probably have to tell her to be nice to you, and not the other way around.”

“Yeah, you could say that again,” Sunghoon grumbles, then realizes his mistake immediately, eyes widening.

“What do you mean?” Jake asks, sounding genuine at first, but when Sunghoon stays quiet for a couple seconds, debating whether he should just lay the truth bare, Jake sits up on the bed and repeats his question, his tone much warier this time around. Sunghoon glances at him then looks away guiltily.

“Well, to be completely honest… We’ve sort of been seeing each other, kind of. But it’s complicated.”

Jake flops back down on his mattress with a grunt. “Who else knows?” he asks, rubbing at his eyes with his hands as if suddenly very exhausted.

“Everyone…”

“Everyone?!”

“Well, Jay, Minjeong, Yunjin and Chaewon.”

“So everyone.”

“Basically, yeah.”

“Great.” Jake sighs. “Since when?”

“Since October,” Sunghoon mumbles, feeling guiltier than ever. He’s belatedly realizing that it would’ve been much easier to have everything out in the open from the get-go, both with you and with Jake; now he’s both stuck in situationship limbo and has to face the consequences of keeping something this important from one of his closest friends. “Are you upset?” Sunghoon asks, feeling a bit like a ten-year-old.

“Kinda, yeah, but more at her than at you. I’ve told her not to go after anyone from the hockey team.”

“‘Cause of Heeseung?”

“Yeah. God, that was messy. He gave her mixed signals for so long, I could barely talk to him without thinking of her crying for so long. And now he’s the one who can’t quite look me in the eye,” Jake says, shaking his head at the mere thought of his captain.

“Was it that bad? She made it seem like it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Jake raises his eyebrows. “Really? It upset her for a while though,” he says, then turns his head to look at the ceiling again. “I guess that’s not so surprising of her. She sometimes likes pretending she doesn’t have any emotions, even though I’m pretty sure she has more than most people.”

“Huh.” That would explain some things, Sunghoon muses. Emotions are not a topic that comes up very often with you, and every time he’s gotten an inkling of them, you seem to shut it all down immediately.

“But you know, I’m more surprised than anything. About… about it all, really. Not just that you’re only telling me now, but that it’s lasted this long. She must really like you.”

“You think?” Sunghoon says, his face brightening with hope, the words slipping from him before he can stop them once again. He shrinks when Jake laughs at him.

“Look at you. Down bad, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“But yeah, dude. I’ve told you about this. I’ve never seen her in a relationship, ever. Says she doesn’t have the time,” Jake says, air-quoting you. “I’ve only had the displeasure of seeing her go home with one-night-stands. You know that since she started college, she’s had a rule that she’d only see someone three times and that was it?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, so she wouldn’t catch feelings. I’m telling you, she’s crazy. So you must be special.”

Sunghoon can’t stop the smile from spreading on his lips—special. But it doesn’t make him feel that much better, either. “It’s not like we’re actually dating, so I’m not sure how special I can be…”

Jake’s head turns to look at Sunghoon again, but the younger boy keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling fan above him. “What’s happening between you guys?”

A blush creeps on Sunghoon’s cheeks. “Is this something you really want to talk about?”

“Well, spare me the gruesome details, please,” Jake says, chuckling, “but yeah, I would like to know what’s going on with my best friend and my sister.”

“I’m your best friend?” Sunghoon says, grinning as he meets Jake’s gaze, who rolls his eyes.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Well, I didn’t think it would happen more than once-”

“What would happen more than once?”

Sunghoon pauses. “Well, you know…” Jake gives him a look as if to say, Well, no, I don’t know, so Sunghoon is forced to go on: “Sleeping together.”

“You guys slept together?!” Jake exclaims, sitting up on his bed once again.

“Yeah, what did you think?”

“I don’t know, just that you were going on dates, hanging out one-on-one, or whatever…”

“Well, we were.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Jake says, waving his hand in front of his face like swatting a fly away. “So, not just once, then?”

“No. And I thought it’d be a one-time thing, ‘cause a few days afterwards she said something about it not having to change our friendship…”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. But then it did. Happen again, I mean. And it’s been happening frequently since. But we’re not… dating dating. We haven’t had that conversation.”

Jake frowns. “Why not?”

Sunghoon releases a shaky breath. Why not, indeed. “‘Cause she hasn’t mentioned it. And I’m too scared to do it.”

“What are you scared of?”

“The typical stuff. What we have now… it’s not what I want, but it’s managed to not disrupt the group, you know. I’m scared that if I tell her how I feel, it’ll make things awkward between the two of us, and between all of us by extension.”

“Well, it might,” Jake says after thinking for a few seconds. “I wish I could tell you with certainty that she’ll like you back, but I honestly can’t. As obvious as you were towards her, she was not giving anything away.” Sunghoon chuckles, more out of self-deprecation than anything. This was not the pep talk he had hoped for. “But, I can tell you that she won’t be the type to make things awkward. You have nothing to risk by telling her, because in the long run, you’ll be better off that way. I know you, Sunghoon. You’ll be miserable if you can’t be fully yourself with someone.”

Decidedly, Sunghoon’s friends had a way of telling him the exact opposite of the things he wanted to hear while being completely right. He wishes things with you could stay the same — minus the overworking yourself and ignoring him in the process — and that he wouldn’t have to do anything that might make them change. But just as Jake said, he’d also reach a point where he couldn’t take it anymore—a point he was already inching closer and closer to with every passing day. He likes you enough to let you not define the relationship, but he likes you too much to let it go on. He likes you too much to not be able to tell you, and show you, and remind you of it every day. He hated having to hold back, and he hated feeling you holding back. He wanted to give you his all and he wanted all of you, too, not just bite-sized portions of you.

“You’re right,” he finally says. “I haven’t been able to talk to her lately, but I’ll have to tell her soon enough. When her exams are over, I guess.”

Jake sighs. “Yeah. I don’t know if there’s any getting through to her right now.”

“She’s blown me off so many times! I don’t know what she’s doing, spending so many hours in that library. I’d go insane.”

“She’s a perfectionist,” Jake says, shaking his head. “I’ve talked to her about it. When it comes to school, she needs everything to be as flawless as can be. She spends hours re-reading and editing her work. It’s not good.”

“Not really, no.”

“But she’s only got a week left. I’ll try to convince her not to go home for too long, and it’ll be better after the holidays. Then we’ll make sure there’s not a repeat of this next exam season.”

He thinks of Christmas break and of not seeing you for two weeks; of next semester and going through all of this with you a second time. The uncertainty, the fooling around behind your friends’ backs — although that might not be needed now that Jake is in on it too — Sunghoon’s not sure if he can go through it all again. “Yeah, we will.”

--

They lose their game the following day. They had an amazing run, either winning or tying every game so far; this loss is not enough to make them drop significantly in the rankings, but it’s enough to demoralize Sunghoon. It couldn’t have come at a worse time—between you and this failed game, his self-esteem is taking a real hit.

He dared hope for some comfort from you once he was back, but in vain. He doesn’t know why he imagined your attitude might’ve changed overnight, and when he texts you asking to hang out, the same old sorry I can’t atm fills his phone screen. And just like that, as strong as his feelings for you have been all this time, so is his resentment—unwarranted, perhaps, but he thinks he deserves better than this, and he’s both angry at you for not giving him anything and at himself for letting it happen.

Now, he’s the one who spends hours working himself to the bone in the ice rink, who’s clearly preoccupied with other things when everyone gets together, and who doesn’t even show up to the party the whole group goes to when you’re all done with exams. The last game before winter break is in two days, and he doesn’t want to waste a day nursing a hangover when he could be practicing.

That night, he thinks everyone is out at some random club downtown, so he does a double-take when it’s past eleven p.m. and you show up at the rink. He’s skating laps, practicing his speed and his goal-shooting, only noticing you when you’re standing in the middle of the rink. He almost skates right into you.

“Y/N?” he asks, not completely sure you’re not just a figment of his imagination. He’s so exhausted, he wouldn’t be surprised if he were dreaming you up.

“Jay texted me.”

“Oh. Why?” He’s out of breath, and the words come out blunter than he intends them to.

“Because it’s almost midnight and you’re still here,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. There’s a hint of a smile on your lips, but your eyebrows are furrowed in what looks like worry. It’s the first time Sunghoon’s seeing you concerned over something other than an assignment. 

He shrugs and resumes his laps, slower this time, forcing you to keep turning on your feet. “I’m practicing. There’s a big game coming up.”

“Which is exactly why you should be resting, like everyone else on your team right now.”

He resists rolling his eyes. “Why would I rest when I could be getting better?”

“Because you need rest as much as you need practice. You won’t be any use on the rink if you’re too tired to play properly.”

“And I won’t be any use if I can’t shoot properly, either.”

“Sunghoon, you need a break. You’re clearly exhausted-Will you stop it?” you suddenly snap. “I’m trying to talk to you, and I’m getting dizzy.” 

Your small outburst only has him growing more agitated, and even though he does stop, it’s more so you can see the annoyance on his face than anything. “You know, this is a bit rich coming from you, Y/N.” He knows this is not the right time to bring this up—if he has grievances against you, he shouldn’t be bringing them up when he’s already frustrated. He’s well aware of this, but he can’t help himself.

You scoff. “Excuse me?”

“You’re the one who spends twelve hours a day in the library during exams and does not budge even if I tell you you should go home.”

“That’s different-”

“How is it any different?” he interrupts, voice rising. “You don’t listen to me when you overwork yourself. I don’t see why I should.”

“So you realize that you’re overworking yourself?”

“Of course I do! But I have to.”

“No, you don’t-”

“Y/N, please. I have to win as much as you have to get the top grades. Is it actually necessary? No, but you know how shit it feels not to.”

“And it’s exactly because I know that feeling that I’m telling you to stop. You’re just feeding into it.”

“So are you, staying until 2 a.m. in the library. You’ve never once gone home when I asked you to.”

“Again, that’s different-”

“How?! How is it different? Please enlighten me, ‘cause they’re the exact same thing to me.”

You sigh. A sudden sadness appears on your face. Sunghoon is torn between wanting to see this to its end and taking everything he’s said back. But he keeps quiet, and your eyes, when they meet his again, harden. “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

“Yes.”

As if you couldn’t say your next words while looking at him, you tear your gaze away from his face. “Because I’m actually concerned about you, here. The only reason you want me to stop and go home is so we can fuck.”

Sunghoon is so astounded that all words fail him—he stares at you, mouth wide open like you just shot him. After a few seconds, all he’s able to come up with is an incredulous, “What?” His voice is a mere whisper. 

“You heard me,” you say coldly.

He closes his mouth and swallows. “So… you’re the one who’s worried, and I’m only after sex?”

You glance at him. “Yeah.”

A chuckle escapes Sunghoon’s throat, then another, until laughter spills out of him uncontrollably. He feels like the world is upside down. How could you have lived the same thing and come out of it with such different perspectives? Your account of his intentions with you is so ridiculous and unfathomable to him that he can’t do anything but laugh.

You seem taken aback at first, but your surprise quickly turns into annoyance. “Something funny?”

“Hilarious, actually,” he says, holding his stomach. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. All he finds at the end of his amusement is anger, bright red and hot. It’s not an emotion he feels often, its rarity only serving as an intensifier—he starts making his way out of the rink before it can explode and hit you in its wake. “Well, that’s convinced me to call it a day. So you got what you came for, I guess.”

His fingers tremble as he undoes the laces on his skates and puts his sneakers on again. You stand by the door of the rink, holding onto the frame as you look at him, that same sad look still on your face. “Hoon,” you say, voice weak. What would usually have him melting only has his anger flare harder.

“Don’t. For the first time ever, I actually really don’t want to talk to you right now.” He stands up, gives you one last harsh look, and turns away. He only halts right before exiting the bleacher area, and after a couple seconds of thinking, turns back around. “Oh, but don’t worry, I’ll let you know when I want to fuck again. Since that’s all this is, clearly.”

--

It seemed to you no one thought you were good enough for Sunghoon.

Only Yunjin and Chaewon seemed excited at the prospect of the two of you getting together, or at least getting to know each other, but they were also the type to coo at dogs in the street and tear up at the sight of old people holding hands; Minjeong was apprehensive from the start, and made it clear; Jay was indifferent; Jake was oblivious for a while. Sunghoon was…

What was Sunghoon?

Someone who had come out of nowhere, shaken up your routine and messed with your head. That’s what Sunghoon was. He didn’t seem apologetic in the slightest.

Maybe it was your fault for not opening up to the people closest to you and letting them think you were some kind of no-strings-attached one-night-stands-only emotionless maneater who had been single for as long as they had known her, who would be seen with someone new every few months, and never for long, who, as far as the eye could tell, only used men for sex. Maybe it was their fault for never trying to dig deeper.

No, okay, it was definitely your fault.

Based on your conversations with your friends, they thought Heeseung had broken your heart, and you had never bounced back properly. He’d hurt you so much, you couldn’t fathom a real relationship anymore—you could only be with someone casually. Which wasn’t so far from the truth, but what Heeseung had done was much worse than just breaking your heart. He’d confirmed what you already knew of yourself: you want too much. You want what you can’t have, what you don’t deserve.

From the moment you met Park Sunghoon, you knew you didn’t deserve someone like him. Minjeong seemed to agree, and when she saw you and him together at choir that Saturday in September, three months ago already, she made sure you knew her thoughts on the matter.

“This is so… unlike you,” was the first thing she’d said after she pulled you aside. 

“What is?”

“This,” she repeated, waving her arms around. “Being here. Coming with him.” She pointed at Sunghoon, whose hair was being ruffled by one grandma and his cheek pulled by another. He kept glancing back worriedly at you—you liked him so much already. “See? You’re smiling at him,” she said, making you realize a sappy smile had started growing on your lips at the sight of him. Your face dropped and you scoffed at the disgust in her voice.

“Yeah, some of us like to smile. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Y/N, you know what I’m trying to say.”

“I don’t think I do, actually.”

She sighed. “You don’t do this. You don’t meet a guy and show up to his choir practice the next morning. What’s happening?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. Had you known your presence would be questioned like that, you might’ve thought twice about coming. “Can’t a girl enjoy a choir without getting interrogated these days?”

“You’re avoiding my question! Listen, Y/N. Sunghoon is not the kind of guy you usually go for. He’s-Stop. Don’t smile at me like that.”

“If you like Sunghoon, you can just tell me. You know I wouldn’t stoop so low as to go after a guy my best friend likes.”

“So you are going after him?”

“So you do like him?”

Minjeong shook her head violently and put her hands on your shoulders, staring into your brain as if trying to make you see some sense. Calmly, she said, “No, I don’t. Sunghoon’s nice, but he is so far from my type. He’s too… nice.”

“You mean he doesn’t wear leather jackets or ride a motorcycle?”

“That was once. But no, he doesn’t do that. And what I’m trying to tell you is that he’s not your type either.”

“And how have you gathered that?”

“Because so far, you’ve only wisely chosen guys who are as detached and emotionally stunted as you.”

“I’m not-”

“But he’s not like that, Y/N. He’s the bring-home-to-your-parents-for-Christmas type. Not the hump-and-dump type.”

“I’m starting to get offended by this conversation.”

“All I’m saying is, don’t go breaking his heart. Or yours, for that matter. It pains me to say but I care about both of you very much and I don’t see this going anywhere good.”

You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Was her opinion of your romantic tendencies — or lack thereof — that bad that she couldn’t even recommend you to her friend? You felt like a chastised child whose mom told you you couldn’t get the toy you wanted. Despite being well aware that you weren’t the most committed when it came to relationships, you still felt like she was going overboard. Just because nothing had stuck so far didn’t mean it wouldn’t now—she was acting like you went around playing with people’s feelings for fun.

“Jesus, this is my second time seeing him. I just wanna see what his deal is. I’m not breaking anyone’s heart, okay?” 

The choir conductor had called out for everyone to gather on stage then, and that was the end of that conversation. You still remember how funny of a thing it was, seeing Sunghoon in his nice shirt and trousers, his hair falling into his eyes, singing diligently with the choir, when just the night before he had been playing beer pong dressed as Cowboy Ken. In this new light, you understood why Minjeong was so adamant about him not being your usual type, and why the grandmas were fussing over him. You hadn’t known what had pushed you to invite yourself to this rehearsal, and even then as you sat there, you weren’t sure what you were doing or why you couldn’t stop smiling as you watched Sunghoon sing. 

Time made things clearer, starting with that afternoon at the beach. The salt in the air that day had clouded your thoughts, covered them with a thin layer so that your usual reluctance to share anything remotely personal had dimmed. Or maybe it had had nothing to do with the air and everything to do with the boy sitting next to you on the sand, the way words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could think about them and were only met with understanding and empathy on his part. For once, you didn’t feel the need to guard yourself, to adapt your words and actions to the person in front of you. It was something you didn’t know was possible with a near stranger—perhaps because Sunghoon felt nothing like one.

He made you feel things you hadn’t felt in a long time; things you had been craving to feel, needed almost as much as oxygen. Being with him felt like breathing again. But you had been underwater so long, being on land again felt foreign, scary, and you couldn’t help but dive back into safe waters, coming up for air once in a while.

Whether he had intended to or not, Sunghoon had started to scratch at your surface, until he’d burrowed a small hole—shallow, but enough for cracks to appear, cracks you were quick to put back together as best as you could.

So when his gaze was too tender, his touches too gentle, you bristled. You went away, because you were afraid of what might happen if you stayed. The more you wanted to give him, the less you gave him anything at all. Your own desire overwhelmed you. His letterman jacket was warm around your shoulders, you proudly walked around with the four letters of his last name on your back, but you couldn’t get out of your mind how cold it would be if it was one day ripped away from you. 

You thought of Heeseung, how disillusioned you had been when you thought you had finally met someone who would love you the way you had always yearned to be, only for him to toss you away when you started asking for too much. You thought of your friends in middle school, how it seemed that no friendship could be more wonderful until you overheard them talking about you at a sleepover, about how clingy you were. You thought of your parents, how they had only bestowed kind words upon you when you performed well in your role of perfect daughter, of academically gifted child. How they hadn’t even glanced at any of the drawings you’d done of the four of you, mother, father, son and daughter holding hands with a bright yellow sun in the corner of the sky. How they had pushed you away from their bed when you seeked some comfort after a terrible nightmare. How they had never bothered to hide their disappointment when you came home from school with anything less than an A. How they had shunned your brother for not going down the path they had envisioned for him, how hard you had to fight to make them accept yours was not a worthless one.

Even your best friend seemed to think you were unable to receive affection of the likes of Sunghoon’s—but what you were afraid of was that he wouldn’t handle the amount of affection you knew you were able to give. In a way, that was what had drawn you to Sunghoon in the first place—from the moment you’d met him, you had been able to tell there was something of you in him. It seemed to you he had a heart that was overflowing with love, love to give, love to spare on whoever would have it. In his words, you were him. Nevertheless, your fear of getting hurt overrode your desire to feel Sunghoon’s love, and you didn’t know whether you would be able to revert to your nature after having spent so much time perfecting your new facade.

You knew what it was like to be cold. And so you prematurely braced yourself for it by pushing away Sunghoon’s warmth. If it was going to happen at some point, like Minjeong had hinted it would, might as well get used to it, right?

Except the cold never came. Sunghoon kept on burning relentlessly, no matter how much wood you fed his fire with—you could cling to him for nights on end or ignore his texts for days, without fail, he’d welcome you with his usual, unwavering warmth. He allowed you to bask in it, to momentarily let down your defenses. But something always happened to make you raise them back up—Minjeong would eye the two of you suspiciously, Heeseung would post on Instagram (Is one of the girls on slide five his new fling? Are they serious and it wasn’t that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, it’s that he didn’t want one with me?), or your mom would text you to ask you whether everything was okay.

Yet increasingly, you suspected there was something behind Sunghoon’s warmth, something you had missed, something that was tricking you. He looked at you like you had hung the stars in the night sky, yes; in public, a knowing look from you was enough to have his face turn bright red, and in private, one simple touch had his chest heaving, yes; he expressed disappointment every time you turned him down for a hang-out. Your attachment to him grew, and it became harder to put what the two of you had into words.

It wasn’t just sex—it couldn’t be. It ran deeper than that. You knew what relationships that consisted of just sex were like, and this wasn’t that, it was too good, too intimate to be just that. But you weren’t a couple, that much was clear. Only four other people were aware something was even going on, your brother not included, and you acted as regular friends in front of everyone. Jake had insisted you didn’t fool around with another member of his hockey team because his relationship with Heeseung had already deteriorated enough, he didn’t need to be on weird terms with anyone else on your behalf, so you were not keen on letting him know about what you got up to with Sunghoon. Anyway, even if everyone on earth was in on your shenanigans, you and Sunghoon hadn’t convened on what it all meant. Who knew what was going on in his head? You were no stranger to how deceitful men could be when they were after certain bodily pleasures. Unless Sunghoon said it in so many words, multiple times, you would not be a hundred percent sure he wasn’t only looking to get laid, or wanted someone to act like his girlfriend without the label and the obligations that came with it.

Because you basically were acting like his girlfriend, and he like your boyfriend. You always went to each other. Always, only each other. Whether he needed a second opinion on an outfit, you needed a rant session about your dissertation, either of you a really good orgasm, it was each other you went to.

You waited for him to initiate a conversation about the status of your relationship like one waits for church bells to ring at the turn of the hour—you knew it was coming, but the sound might be too much to bear. And the longer you had to wait, the more you dreaded it. Because how would you react when the time came? You didn’t trust yourself not to run away; neither did Minjeong.

The cold hadn’t come yet. You couldn’t let yourself feel the warmth unreservedly. It was all unpleasantly lukewarm.

Then you went home for a weekend.

It was a good friend from school’s birthday, and despite having spent a lot of time with Sunghoon at the expense of studying, you had done well this semester and thought you deserved a break. After having been away for so long, you had started to underestimate the power of your need for your parents’ approval over you. One small instance that your brother and many other people would’ve brushed off easily was enough to set you off—that same cold look of disappointment when you decided to be honest and told them one of your courses was deadly boring all while being unnecessarily complicated and you had received a low B-grade in it. They barely spoke to you for the rest of the evening.

Exams were a mere few weeks away when you got back. You buried yourself in work, forgot everything and everyone else, even Sunghoon, even yourself.

The cold hadn’t come yet, so you sought it out for yourself.

At the same time, you hadn’t indulged in enough introspection to realize how frustrated you had been at Sunghoon for not trying to create defined boundaries around your relationship. You were unable to do it yourself, you unrealistically wanted him to do the work for the both of you, you got upset when he didn’t. What you were able to do was make up reasons why he wasn’t giving you the what are we talk—he doesn’t like you that much, he just wants sex, he’s settling for you until he finds the next best thing, the real thing. This wasn’t leading anywhere, so you cut it off before he could.

You set foot in the library at seven thirty a.m. on a Monday and every following day of that week, then the next, then the next. He managed to pull you out every now and then—you weren’t that strong against his big pleading eyes, his soft messy hair, his warm hands that entirely covered yours. 

Oftentimes, you were too tired at the end of a long library day to have sex. Sunghoon never held it against you—he seemed more than happy to cook you dinner, let you fall asleep halfway during a movie you had chosen, and cuddle all night long. But your body burned with resentment at his mere presence in your bed, in your home, in your text messages. Who was he to stop you from studying, from achieving your goals, to distract you from that top grade just so he could get off? Even your friends and brother weren’t trying so hard to make you take breaks. The worry that furrowed his eyebrows, which you used to want to see fade away with a caress of your thumb, now infuriated you to no end, it seemed — to you — put-on. He kissed your neck and you wanted to push him away instead of melt into him like you had before.

It was his turn to leave for a weekend for an out-of-town hockey game, and you convinced yourself his absence came as a relief. But on the Sunday evening they got back, as you came out of the library, you spotted your brother waiting right outside of the building.

“Why is it so hard to reach you?” he said when he saw you in lieu of a greeting. “What’s the point of having a phone if you don’t even use it? I called you, like, five times.” “It was on airplane mode.” He rolled his eyes so hard, you could almost hear them moving beneath their lids. “What have you done to Sunghoon?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Sunghoon? What about him?” you asked, chest constricting at the mere thought of him and at the implication that something had happened to him, even if you were the cause. He hadn’t said it in so many words, but it was clear the truth had been revealed to Jake, and for some reason, it didn’t surprise you. You knew they roomed together and assumed Sunghoon must’ve told him. You tried your best to take it in stride. “I thought we said the hockey team was off-limits after Heeseung,” he said sternly. “Also, Sunghoon, of all people?” he adds before you can say anything. “That’s like, my bro. And he’s the nicest guy ever. Not the perfect pick for one of your victims, I must say-” “Oh, please, he’s not a victim. He’s a consenting adult.” “Then why is he so upset over you spending more time studying than with him?” “That’s the male ego for you, Jakey.” Your brother sighed deeply. “He’s really hurt, Y/N. If you were going to reject him, you could’ve done it nicely.”

You frowned. “Who said anything about rejecting him?”

“You’ve shut him out. You’ve shut all of us out.” Jake was staring at you, trying to get you to look at him, but you kept your gaze on the ground and kicked non-existent pebbles around, hands hiding in your coat pockets. “You might not have meant it as one, but he took it as a rejection.”

You scoff. “There was nothing to reject. It’s not like we’re actually together.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me anything was going on, by the way.”

“It wasn’t any of your business.”

“It is, ‘cause it concerns my sister and my best friend.”

“He’s your best friend?” you echo, a teasing smile on your lips. He rolls his eyes again.

“God, maybe you guys aren’t so bad together after all. But Y/N—I’m serious. You need to do something.”

“Why can’t he?”

“Because you’re the one who’s been fucking around.”

Ouch. “You’ve known about this whole thing for what, two days, and you’re already blaming me for the fact that it’s not going perfectly? How little do you think of me?”

“I don’t think little of you, Y/N, I just know you have a track record of not being serious about relationships.”

Your body tensed up. Maybe it had been a particularly long day. Maybe it had been a long time coming. Tears well up in your eyes—a sight you’ve not let your brother see in many, many years.

“You know what, fuck this, Jake. I’m stressed enough as it is. I’ve done my best with what I have, and you don’t get to pin this on me. As if I was the only person in that relationship. If Sunghoon has a problem, he can take it up with me directly.”

You walked away. Jake called after you once, and when you didn’t come back, caught up with you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t wanna upset you. I just-I hate seeing him hurt, you know? And you too.”

“I’m glad my feelings are of some importance to you.”

“Of course they are,” Jake said, too concerned to detect the sarcasm in your words. “And you’re right, I’ve only heard Sunghoon’s side of the story. But it really sounded like-”

“Listen, Jakey, I really don’t wanna do this right now. Let’s talk about it when exams are over. I can’t have anything else taking up mental space. I mixed up my Greek third declension endings earlier.”

“God forbid.”

After some arguing, Jake let you off the hook—“Just for now,” he said. You’d get him to recount his and Sunghoon’s conversation in excruciating detail later.

You come out of an evening of contemplation resenting Sunghoon for bitching about you to your brother, of all people. As if he had been begging on his hands and knees for your devotion, as if you had been cool-headed and detached and not thinking he’ll ask me to be his girlfriend any second now every time you spent time together. You told yourself you were well and truly done with him for the time being. If there was anything to salvage, that was future you’s problem.

But late on Thursday evening, Jay sent you a voice message, something he only did when he was gravely drunk, shouting over loud chatter and rap music that Sunghoon hadn’t shown up to a party and was apparently still practicing. You’d caught wind of their loss at the game, and even though your heart had swollen with concern for Sunghoon, very well aware of how important winning was to him, you’d managed to squash it down. You had bigger fish to fry, namely, an Italian written exam that made up 75% of your overall grade for that course. But after ten minutes of re-reading the same three lines of an article from Republicca, you couldn’t get the image of Sunghoon skirting endlessly around the ice rink and potentially hurting himself out of your head. You told yourself you only had this one exam left and plenty of time to revise for it, packed up your things and headed for the rink.

It was past eleven p.m. when you got there. The rest is history. 

Your grievances came out in an ugly way, but Sunghoon’s refusal to listen to you got the best of your nerves, and although you really did feel that your worry was more genuine than his, you didn’t truly believe that all he wanted from you was sex—at least, you hoped it wasn’t. It was the first time you ever saw any sort of negative emotion on Sunghoon’s handsome features, be it anger, sadness or pain. It tugged at your heartstrings, made you want to wrap him in your arms and get him away from whatever it was that tugged his eyebrows into a frown—even if that was you.

Now, as if the water has inched up your ankles and frozen over, your feet stay planted on the ice for a while after he’s stormed off. You don’t even realize you’re crying until a hot, salty teardrop falls on your lips.

Your feet regain control of themselves, and they seem to move of their own accord as they guide you right in front of Sunghoon’s dorm room. You’re barely conscious as your knuckles rasp against the door, and the tears that had fallen back behind your eyes spill out once more as soon as your eyes meet his. He’s just come out of the shower, a white towel wrapped around his hips, another one that he uses to dry his hair. His movements stop when he realizes who’s standing at his door, mouth falling slightly agape, chest visibly rising and falling. He’s so beautiful, you feel your heart breaking all over again.

Sobs pour uncharacteristically out of you, so much so that you have to hide your face behind your eyes. He ushers you in, holds you tight as everything flows out, the stress, the resentment, the loneliness, the longing. How could he be so close yet so far away this whole time? Did he want those miles of distance between you, or had you forced them upon him?

Sunghoon smoothes your hair down and shushes you, telling you it’s okay and that he’s here, voice strangled as if he’s on the verge of crying, too. A part of you still feels angry towards him, but the bigger part of you knows only he can give you the comfort you need.

“I missed you,” you say when you’ve calmed down partly. You only realize how true those words are once you’ve spoken them. You’ve missed waking up next to him, watching trashy reality TV together, taking coffee breaks that lasted too long in-between study sessions. You’ve missed the scent of his hair, the scent of his skin, you’ve missed watching the way his back muscles shift at the slightest of movements, feeling the weight of his head as he lay on your chest. All for a bunch of As you would’ve gotten without exerting yourself so much anyway.

“I missed you too, baby. Where did you go?” Just like that, you break down again, and he dissolves into apologies. “You’re here now, it’s all that matters,” he whispers against your hair.

“You didn’t see them, Hoon. You didn’t see the way they looked at me,” you say, struggling to speak, unsure you’re even making any sense but unable to stop. “I got As in everything, I worked so hard. Just one B, one week where I had four things due at the same time. Their faces, Hoon, like they were thinking, what was the point of letting me do this degree if I wasn’t even going to excel in it?”

“But you do excel in it, Y/N. You’re amazing at what you do. And even if you weren’t, you love it, and that’s what matters the most.”

“Not to them, it doesn’t.”

“Then forget them.”

“I can’t, Hoon,” you say, voice trembling. “I just can’t. I need them to be proud of me.”

“Isn’t it enough to be proud of yourself?”

“I wish it was.”

“Does it help if I tell you how proud I am of you and of how hard you’ve worked?”

He doesn’t see it, your face is still hidden in the crook of his shoulder, but a small smile makes its way to your lips. “A bit.”

“Then I’ll tell you everyday until you don’t need their approval anymore. They don’t deserve you, Y/N. They don’t even see what an amazing, beautiful, smart daughter they have. Or her sort-of-okay brother.” You laugh, and so does he. Sunghoon’s words and soothing touch against your back already alleviate the weight on your heart. “But I see it.”

You lift your head to look at Sunghoon. His eyes are glassy. “You see how amazing, beautiful and smart Jake is?”

He laughs again as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, exactly.” The way he looks at you makes you wish you could go back to the day you met him and right all of your wrongs. No more hiding or running away. You only want to stay under that gaze of his. But sadness soon replaces the joy in his eyes. “You mean so much more to me than you give yourself credit for, Y/N. This has never been just about sex for me. Not even for a second.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Then what has it been about?” 

He frowns like a student in an advanced math class who’s just been asked what three plus three is—isn’t it obvious?

“I love you.”

Your eyes dart between his as if searching for any trace of deceit there. Of course, you don’t find any—because there hasn’t been any since the start. You’d let your own fears invent things that weren’t there. Your lips tremble and you find yourself bawling on his shoulder once more, your tears like a well that digs deeper and deeper so as to never run out of water.

“I hope these are good tears,” Sunghoon says light-heartedly, but you can detect the nervousness behind his words. You nod your head vigorously, willing yourself to say something back, but your tears overflow, make your breath hitch.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” you manage in between sobs.

“I didn’t think it was the kind of thing you wanted to hear,” he explains.

“I was waiting for you to say something.”

“I didn’t know. I thought I was being obvious enough.”

“You probably were. I was the one who couldn’t see it,” you admit.

“I thought you didn’t want me like that.”

“I thought you didn’t want me like that.”

Sunghoon chuckles, a sound of relief. “I’ve wanted you like that since the start.”

“I think I have too.”

“You think?”

You lift your head again and when your eyes meet Sunghoon’s, it feels like coming out of your hiding place hours after the round of hide-and-seek was over. He hadn’t forgotten to come and find you. He was waiting for you to reveal yourself.

Which goes against the rules of hide-and-seek, but you don’t blame him.

You smile; he smiles, deep dimples carving crescents into his cheeks. “I love you, too.”

You hadn’t realized how cold your hands were until Sunghoon found them.

--

Everything after that was a blurry mess of tangled limbs, warm kisses, happy tears and relieved laughter.

Your touch had always been intoxicating, but Sunghoon was particularly sensitive to it that night. The mix of not having felt you close in weeks and the heightened emotions driven by your confessions made his skin tingle everywhere it came in contact with yours. He’d never slept so little without regretting it in the morning.

It goes without saying that most of the night was not spent talking, but you still had things you needed to discuss. The two of you laid out all of your fears, and Sunghoon was immensely relieved to finally get a glimpse into that mind of yours. He made you promise to always tell him what was going on, and he promised you you’d never be too much for him. Always just right.

Now, he gets to wait outside of your exam hall with your favorite flowers in hand, to put his arm around your shoulders during movie nights instead of holding your hand beneath the blanket, to kiss you over the barrier at the end of a hockey game he won. Heeseung’s narrowed eyes at the sight of the two of you is an added bonus.

You text him that you’ll hang around the locker rooms after the game so that you can head to the party together. The end of December is nearing and you can’t wait for the new year, for twelve whole months of not hiding your feelings for Sunghoon from anyone, not even from yourself, least of all from him. At least, that’s what you told him in a sappy, drunken voice message at two a.m. the previous night when the girls made you drink a bottle of prosecco to yourself—their way of congratulating you for an arduous but successful exam period.

He steps out of the locker rooms with Jake and Jay. You’ve never looked quite as pretty, face lighting up as you spot the three of them, his jersey on your shoulders. You’d worn it during your last exam—“I thought it might bring me luck to wear a pretty boy’s name on my back,” you’d told him, to which he’d replied that it was good practice for when you actually took his last name. You’d looked away, fighting a smile.

Now your smile is full-blown as you look at him, but the downside of being an official couple is that Jake has now more material to tease the both of you with.

“Oh my God, you waited for me, what a sweet sister I have been blessed with!” he exclaims, arms outstretched as he barrels towards you.

“Fuck off, Sim,” you say but accept his hug nonetheless. “Nice game.”

“I know.” He pulls away and ruffles your hair. Jay nods at you like you’re someone he shared a class with back in second year and not his friend of almost three years.

As if on cue, just as Sunghoon reaches you and envelops you in a hug, Jake turns around and yells loud enough for all the players spilling out of the locker rooms, “And don’t forget to wear protection! I’m not ready to be an uncle yet.”

“That’s disgusting, Jakey,” you yell back, and he smiles proudly. Sunghoon had never thought the day would come where you’d initiate a kiss in a room full of people—he’s on cloud nine when you take his head in your hands and press your lips to his, murmuring praises about how well he played.

“It was all for you, baby,” he says, trying to appear cool even though a blush is creeping up his ears. 

“Not for the recruiter of the national team?” you asked with a smirk.

He smiles, shrugging. “Maybe a bit for him too. You’re the one I want to impress.”

“Consider me impressed.” You stand on your tiptoes to kiss him a second time.

You head towards your friends, hands warm against each other.

--

In classic mysterious Jay fashion, he organizes a New Year’s Eve party that he can’t attend himself.

He’s on holiday in some exotic country halfway across the world with his family, but he’s offered up their house for a celebration and tasked Jake with making sure no one trashes anything.

The party started three hours ago, and you’re sure it’s in full swing by now—you’re sure everyone is having a jolly old time, getting drunk enough to welcome the new year with a hangover, searching the crowds of people for the person they’ll want to kiss at midnight. You’re sure that people are having so much fun that whoever notices your and Sunghoon’s absence might think you’re missing out.

And maybe you are—but there’s nowhere you’d rather be than where you are now, straddling your boyfriend’s lap in the backseat of his car. He’s a little bit tipsy, you’re a little bit tipsy, it’s obvious in the way you kiss each other, messy, impatient, interspersed with giggles and with perhaps too much tongue. Your hands are not much more polite, harshly grabbing at his hair just the way you know he likes it, and neither are his, having snuck their way underneath your black satin dress long ago already.

When Sunghoon pulled you away from the party, you’d appropriately exclaimed, “But the party?”, to which he replied, “Fuck the party.” It wasn’t like him to curse, or to have anything but a bashful smile on his lips, like a guilty dog who’d been caught doing something it knew it shouldn’t, even though he was just standing there, so when you see his stoney expression, you think something serious must’ve happened.

The something serious turned out to be “that guy who was touching your shoulder.”

Clearly, it’d take Sunghoon a little bit more time to be entirely secure in your relationship. In the meantime, you didn’t mind letting him fuck his jealousy away.

Although he’d been the one to whisk you away, you’re the one who finds yourself begging for him to speed things up. Your flimsy thong does absolutely nothing, so you’re basically grinding yourself bare against his clothed erection—and it’s not like the fabric of his suit trousers is very thick, either. A girl can only put up with so much dry humping before having her boyfriend’s dick inside of her goes from being a want to a need.

“Need you, Hoon,” you coo against the shell of his ear. A few words usually do the trick, but Sunghoon has other plans tonight.

“What do you need, baby?”

“You.”

“I’m right here,” he says, punctuating his words with a squeeze of your ass.

“You know what I mean,” you say, practically whining.

“I’m not sure I do, actually.”

You pull away and, looking at him directly, say, “God, Sunghoon. I want you to fuck me.” His shit-eating grin simultaneously makes you roll your eyes and goes straight to your core.

“That I can do.”

He keeps one hand on your ass as he loosens his tie first, then undoes his belt and trouser buttons. His slacks and underwear pool around his ankles, and all he needs to do is hike your dress up around your hips and push your thong to the side. You wrap a hand around his dick, but your mind is too hazy to do much with it—he’s started rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb, the pressure and speed as perfect as it always is. You let your forehead fall against his shoulders and moan unabashedly, thankful he decided to park the car far enough away from the house.

“You like it when I touch you like this, baby?”

“I love it, Hoon.”

He hums his approval. “You’re so perfect. So perfect and so wet for me, isn’t that right?”

You start to say “yes,” but you interrupt yourself with a gasp. You hold onto Sunghoon’s arm, feel his muscles move under your palm as he slips two fingers inside of you without warning. “Please,” you choke out, a tight knot already forming in your stomach.

“Please what?”

“Need you. Need your dick, baby.”

He smiles as if endeared, but his words couldn’t be more different. “Maybe you should’ve thought of that before going off with some random guy the one minute I was somewhere else.”

“He’s just-fuck, Hoon, he’s just a mutual friend of Jay and I. Fuck, right there, baby.” Forming coherent sentences when Sunghoon’s fingers flick against that perfect spot deep inside you again and again is no easy task, but you need to defend yourself.

“Right there?” he echoes, voice a whisper against your ear. When you nod, eyes shut tight, he slips his fingers out. You look at him, betrayed. “That’s too bad. Why don’t you ask him to touch you right there, hm?”

You don’t know how much of his jealousy is put-on to get you to beg and how much of it is real. You make a mental note to have a conversation with him about this later—right now, you don’t mind playing along if it means your boyfriend will deign to fuck you. You know he wants to, he’s just making you work harder.

You move your hand up and down along his dick, brush his reddening tip with your palm every now and then. “He couldn’t touch me like you, Hoon.” You lean in and trail kisses along his neck, his jawline, his ears. “Can’t fuck me like you, either.”

With exams, hockey matches and any other responsibilities out of the way for winter break, the two of you had had an obscene amount of sex in the past couple of weeks. You’d done other things, of course, namely having much-needed conversations with each other, your friends, your families. Sunghoon’s mother was overjoyed at the news, glad her “duckling had finally met someone” — her words — and his sister kept stealing his phone from him to talk to you when you were on FaceTime. You and Jake had gone home for two days for Christmas, and although Jake had needed to pep talk you into it for over an hour, you managed to tell them that you wouldn’t stand for being belittled for your life choices anymore.

But in-between these conversations, you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. You’ve grown more comfortable with each passing day, both of you bolder in vocalizing what you want and how you feel. And so, you quickly found out that your Sunghoon, your shy, sweet Sunghoon, got off like nothing else on salacious words. In line with his possessiveness, he loved hearing about how he and only he could do these things to you; in line with your need for validation, you could practically come from hearing his praises alone.

“That’s right, baby.” Like the gentleman he is, he fishes out the condom wrapper he had gotten ready from his trouser pocket, tears it open with his mouth and rolls the condom on with one hand, his other one still preoccupied with you. “Come here, my love,” he whispers, his sweet tone worlds away from his previous teasing, almost cocky one. He grabs your hips, guides you closer to him and lines your entrance with the tip of his dick. He lets you go at your own pace, rubs your thighs soothingly as you sink down onto him slowly and adjust to his size. You throw your head back, mind hazy with pleasure as you move your hips back-and-forth against him.

“You feel so good, baby. You’re doing so well for me.” His words make you pick up your pace, and you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers grabbing at his hair and sides of your faces pressed against each other as you start lifting your hips and sinking back down. Sunghoon’s hands hold your ass tightly, guiding you up and down. It’s hot in the car; sweat runs down your hairline and your back, air is running low, the windows are fogging up, but it only adds to the dizzying bliss growing in you. Even the seatbelt receiver digging into your knee doesn’t bother you.

“Feels so good, Hoon,” you moan.

“I know, baby.”

Your hours of studying everyday means your thighs aren’t the strongest—good thing for you that your boyfriend has enough stamina and strength for the both of you. As soon as he feels you tiring, your rhythm becoming slower and more irregular, he picks up your slack. One hand on your back, one arm around your waist, he presses you close to him, his hold on you so tight you can barely move. He bucks his hips harshly into yours, faster and faster, making you cry out with every brush of his tip against that spot deep inside of you. Your whole body shakes with pleasure as your moans grow higher and louder, until the tension in your stomach hits its apex and unravels. A gasp leaves your throat as you come around him, but he’s unrelenting, the overstimulation quickly making tears form in your eyes. Strings of curses and praises of how perfect you are spill out of Sunghoon’s mouth disorderly as he reaches his own end.

Together, you take your time catching your breath, his fingers roaming your back while you trail soft kisses all over his face and neck. “My pretty baby,” he whispers, and it makes your heart swell with so much affection for him that you press your lips to his, shutting him up in case he says something that actually has you exploding.

You wish you could spend some more time just the two of you before returning to the party, but when you check your phone, it’s already five minutes to midnight—he puts his clothes back on as you fix your hair in a rush, Sunghoon helping you wipe away traces of mascara under your eyes, and together, run back to the living room where everyone has gathered. You find Minjeong, Yunjin, Chaewon and Jake, who has Jay on FaceTime. It’s only five p.m. where he is.

Everyone counts down from ten together. The first thing you do in the new year is kiss Park Sunghoon—and you’ll make sure it’s the last thing you do, too.

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2024. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!

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EASY TO LOVE | jungwon smau!

SYNOPSIS: Y/N is the so called queen of Decelis University; rich, pretty, smart, a bit mean and oh so bossy. She has one rule and one only, no one can touch the guy she claims. At least not until she gets bored. But what happens when she finds out that Yang Jungwon, the newest guy at school, is actually way easier to love than she thought?

GENRE: smau, crack, might become angst but mostly fluff

FEAT: enhypen, illit moka, ive wonyoung, &team nicholas and more...

WARNINGS: cursing, drinking and smoking mentions, suggestive, ass humor (sorry i'm trying my best 😞)

TAGLIST: CLOSED

STATUS: COMPLETE

———————————————————————

PROFILES 1 | 2

ONE - skill issue

TWO - scared?

THREE - EW

FOUR - vip tickets

FIVE - win win

SIX - the party

SEVEN - dont get too hard

EIGHT - poop head

NINE - someone is going to die today

TEN - tiny girl jail

ELEVEN - this is hell

TWELVE - good girl

THIRTEEN - the video

FOURTEEN - groceries

FIFTEEN - i wont eat you

SIXTEEN - is it over?

SEVENTEEN - after all

EIGHTEEN - talk

NINETEEN - finally mine

TWENTY - you.

the good in the bad - yjw

✿ heroes and villains aren't meant to be together... that's what you and jungwon thought at least. perhaps your views have changed after having to work together with the yang jungwon. who would've thought.

pairing - hero!jungwon x villain!fem!reader (ft. heeseung and nct dream's jeno) genre - enemies to lovers, slow burnish, angst, fluff wc - 7.6k warnings - swearing, blood, violence, weapons, daddy issues, betrayal, jungwon's mean to the reader, kissing requested

tiana's note 🎀 - i'm so sorry this took so long to get out ! there was so many details i wanted to add, i know i could've added more but this was the best i can do. i really really had fun writing this, this is the longest fic i've ever written and it's something very different from something i'd usually write. thank you anon for requesting this !

౨ৎ reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3 ✧˖° ... (library)

“this way! come on!” jeno yelled as he darted around the corner. you were right on his tail, making sure you don't stray behind.

the building's alarm blared into the calm, quiet night along with the loud footsteps of your pursuers. let’s just say that some people aren’t necessarily happy with what you have stolen. 

you had pulled off countless jobs: successfully breaking into buildings, swiftly looting them, and disappearing into the night. you were pretty much considered a pro at committing crimes. but something about tonight was different. the shadowstone - supposedly a very rare stone, one that can "change lives" once you lay hands on it. selling this would earn you millions. you needed this.jeno  as he darted around . were right on his tail, making sure you don't stray behind.the building's alarm blared into the calm, quiet night along with the loud footsteps of your pursuers.

you had pulled off countless jobs: successfully breaking into buildings, swiftly looting them, and disappearing into the night. you were pretty much considered a pro at committing crimes. but something about tonight was different. the shadowstone - supposedly a very rare stone, one that can "change lives" once you lay hands on it.you needed this

what you didn’t expect was the large swarm of people chasing you right after you’d stolen it. normally, the ear piercing alarm would go off, signaling that it was your time to disappear off into the night, but tonight felt oddly controlled, almost as if they were waiting for you to steal the stone. almost like it was all planned out…

but that didn’t concern you. the only thing on your mind right now was to escape with your new shiny prize.

11 hours ago…

“heeseung, what’s the reason for this? what am i looking at?” jungwon asked with a puzzled look on his face. heeseung had called for him to his headquarters - something that wasn’t so common as jungwon usually handles his missions on his own. heeseung only asks for him when it comes to serious matters. this must be one of those cases.

“y/n l/n, she also goes by the name of ‘echo’,” heeseung explained, walking towards jungwon, “she is known to be one of the deadliest - not to mention, skilled villains as of right now. she’s made quite the name for herself.”

jungwon’s brow furrowed, “what does she have anything to do with my mission?”

“i need you to locate and bring her to me immediately. she has something i want,” heeseung commands, his gaze intense.

jungwon pondered for a moment. how is he supposed to find you? you’re in a very large city, you can be anywhere. and more importantly, why, out of all heroes, does he have to find you? 

“jungwon,” heeseung said sternly, bringing him back to reality, “don’t let me down.”

“yes, sir.” he replied. with a wave, heeseung dismissed him.

now to hunt you, echo, down.

present…

after what felt like an eternity of running, you and jeno finally reach a quiet, secluded alleyway. you no longer heard the yells and footsteps of your pursuers so you assume you’re finally alone. kneeling over, you try to catch your breath. jeno doing the same. once your eyes met his, the two of you laugh and celebrate another successful run. he made his way over to you with his hand up, waiting for a high five. 

“another point for us,” he said excitedly. “i can already smell how rich we’re going to be.”

you laughed, breathless, “right? jeno, this is huge. this is going to change our lives, maybe we can finally settle down after this.” 

you noticed how his eyes lit up, “you really think so?”

“i do. the shadowstone is worth millions, i’m sure it’ll get us the money for the house we wanted,” grinning at him, you put your hand on his shoulder, “imagine months from now, we’re living in our dream house, we’ve retired from this job of ours and we’re finally living in peace… we can finally live the life we deserve, jeno.”

he smiles at you, putting his hand on top of yours, “i would do anything to live that life,” he glanced down at the satchel that rested at your hip and nudges his head towards it, “let’s see that stone of ours?”

“let’s do it.” 

as you started to reach in your bag to grab the stone, jeno says, “stay here, i’m going to go check if the coast is clear.” 

you nodded as you began to rummage through the bag. your hands finally make contact with the stone. you sighed in content, pulling it out. as you observed the sharp, black stone that sat in your hands, your smile began to fade. the stone wasn’t glimmering, translucent gem you were expecting. instead, it was dull, solid - fake. “fake…” you muttered, heart dropping.

just as you were about to warn jeno, you heard him yell, “echo, run!” but before you could even react, a man appears in front of jeno, attacking him. jeno tried to fight back only for his punches to be blocked, resulting in him being stabbed in the stomach, collapsing to the ground.

hearing his cries of pain, you gasp, tears blurring your vision, “jen-“ you try to run to him but you couldn’t. another man appears behind you and grabs you by the arms. no matter how much you try to kick and break free from his grasp, he’s too strong for you.

“no running now, freak,” he whispers into your ear. “we got her, jakah.” 

jakah? you’ve heard that name before somewhere but you can’t seem to recall at the moment. your brain was scattered, nothing made sense. you feel yourself being turned around in the man’s grasp and there you were met with a man that had a tall, lean build. dark brown hair covered his eyes but you still were able to feel his piercing gaze. his energy exuding power and confidence. he was not here to mess around. 

you were being pushed closer to him. your eyes meet. those eyes. they were captivating. you almost couldn’t look away from him. you didn’t want to. no. you can’t let yourself surrender to him. 

jakah observed you for a moment. his eyes trailed all over your figure - you felt like you could shrink just under his gaze. once he turned his attention back to your face, he tilts his head and clicks his tongue, “you’re not as deadly as he said you’d be… what happened?”

hearing this made anger run through your body. without thinking, you stomped on the foot of the man holding you, causing him to loosen his grip. you took this opportunity to swing around and punch him in the face to create some distance between you. as he’s doubled over in pain, you quickly grabbed your dagger that you had hidden in your leg and swung it at jakah, making contact with his cheek. 

his quick reflexes allowed him to grab your wrist to prevent further injury. your eyes widen at how strong he is, he brings his free hand to wipe away the droplets of blood coming from his cheek, his expression a mix of irritation and amusement, “don’t even bother fighting back, echo. you’ll waste your energy.” he smirks, pushing you to the ground. 

before you could react, jakah pulled out a gun and aims it at you. 

this was it. this was the end for you. as you began to accept the fact that this may be the last few moments being alive, a surge of electricity runs through your body and everything went black.

you slowly began to regain consciousness, groaning as you slowly opened your eyes. you found yourself tied to a chair, the ropes dug into your wrists and ankles. you try to free yourself, but the ropes were too tight. “shit.” you muttered, frustrated. 

taking in your surroundings, you realized that you’re being held in someone’s headquarters. in front of you was a man that had his back turned to you. in the dim lights you could make out the red tint in his hair. 

“she’s awake, sir.” a voice said from behind you, followed by the sound of approaching footsteps.

“good,” the man in front of you turned around, revealing his face. “it’s about time.” he smirked.

“what did you do to jeno?” was the first thing you said. you didn’t care about your safety, you just wanted to know if jeno was even alive.

“hello to you too,” the man started walking towards you, “do you know who i am or where you are?”

“why would i?” you spat out, struggling against the rope, “does it look like i care about that?” 

“there’s no point in struggling. you’re only making it worse,” jakah said, next to you. “you can’t escape anyway.”

you glare at him only to be met with his cold gaze. you realize there’s no point in talking to him. “why am i here?” you turn your focus back to the red haired man who stared at you intently, “if this is me finally being caught for my crimes… it sure isn’t how i envisioned it would be.”

“and how would that have been?” he asked, feigning amusement.

“oh you know, a handsome, charming man sweeping me off my feet and carrying me to my roomy cell,” you turn to jakah and scanned his face, “could’ve been you, you seem to fit the role perfectly. what a shame.” you sighed.

his glare only deepens, “you think you’re so funny-“

“jungwon.” the man in front of you interrupted sternly, “that’s enough.” the supposed jungwon looks down at his feet.

“why am i here?” you repeated, growing impatient, “you never answered my question.”

“you’re here because you’re the key to something i want.” he said, causing you to raise an eyebrow. “find me that amulet.”

the energy in the room shifts as you processed what the man said. it feels like time slowed down. anyone would be able to feel the coldness radiating off of you. jungwon watched your reaction closely, confused.

“…you’re heeseung.” your eyes darkened, “so it is you.”

“it’s nice to see you again, y/n,” he smiled. but behind that smile had so much meaning. jungwon had a feeling there was something he didn’t know. but for his sake, he chose not to interfere. you had gone silent as painful, buried memories began to resurface. you wanted to make them stop.

heeseung continued, “i need you to find the amulet for me.”

“why should i help you?” you snapped, “how do i know you’re not gonna just send me to my death?”

“you know what would happen if that amulet is in the wrong hands. we can’t afford to let chaos ensue once he finds what he’s looking for,” he pressed, “and you won’t be going alone, jungwon will be coming with you.”

“what?” the both of you said simultaneously causing you to glare at each other. “i don’t need a babysitter. it’d be quicker if i went alone.” you argued.

“and have you run off? no, that’s not happening. jungwon is coming with you to make sure you return with the amulet.”

you scoffed, “of course, you don’t trust me.” you can feel both pairs of eyes on you, waiting for you answer. “what’s in it for me?”

“if you come back with the amulet, i will release you and jeno and you will have the chance to throw away this life and start a new one without anyone coming after you, just like you wished.”

jeno’s still alive. you felt a sense of relief wash over your body after hearing those words leave his mouth. but for some reason, you couldn’t help but be skeptical at his proposal. it felt too easy. it could be a trap.

“how do i know you’ll keep your word? how do i know you won’t just send people after us?” you questioned.

“i have no interest in what you do besides this. i only need you for this matter so you will be free to go if you succeed.”

“and if i don’t succeed?”

“you’ll be joining jeno in the cells. and be handed over to the authorities.”

figures. you contemplated for a moment. from what you were understanding, you and jeno’s future relies solely on you finding this amulet - to which you may or may not know where and how to find it. it doesn’t hurt to try though. you and jeno needed this.

“okay,” you sighed, “i’ll help you find the amulet,” this caused heeseung to nod, but you continued, “but i need to see jeno first. i have to make sure he’s okay.”

“that can be done.” heeseung said, nodding to jungwon so that he can untie you. you rubbed your wrists as soon as you were freed. “make it quick though, the sooner you leave the better. jungwon, show her to jeno’s cell.”

“come on,” he gestured for you to follow. you quickly caught up to him, eager to see jeno. 

you followed him down the hall revealing numerous cells, however there was no one in them. just jeno. he was sitting on the ground, head buried in his knees. seeing him in such state made your stomach turn. “jeno,” you called out, immediately running over to him. he looks up at the sound of your voice. his face lights up and he scrambled closer to the bars.

“y/n,” he says, relieved, “you’re okay. i thought you were-“

“i’m okay,” you reassured, grabbing his hand, “i’m going to get you out of here, okay? i just need to find that amulet for them then we’ll be okay.”

jeno’s eyes widen and shakes his head, “the amulet? no, you can’t go y/n. that’s not going to end well.”

“i have to, jeno.” you whisper, “for us. heeseung and i made a deal. we’re free once i find it for him.”

“and you trusted him just like that? it sounds weird…”

“what other choice do i have? it was either freedom or being stuck here. i’m willing to take a risk.”

jungwon stood off to the side, waiting for you to finish your conversation with jeno. there was a lot he didn’t know: you and jeno’s relationship, how you knew heeseung, your connection with the amulet. he was completely in the dark. but he knew it wasn’t his place to pry for answers. if anything, he doesn’t want anything to do with you. why would he want to? you’re from very different worlds, that aren’t meant to be combined. he doesn’t trust you. he’s only doing this to prove to heeseung that he trusted the right person. he doesn’t want to let him down. never. 

“just… be safe, okay? you need to come back.” jeno pleaded, “i can’t lose you.”

“i promise i’ll be back. don’t worry about me,” you lean in closer to whisper the last part, “besides, i have myself this fine man coming with me.” you joked, making jeno scoff at you.

“of course in a situation like this, you’d find someone to thirst over.”

you had to admit, jungwon was an attractive man. you couldn’t help but be drawn to his captivating feline-like eyes, button nose, and quiet persona. jungwon had a lot of qualities that make you curious about him. he intrigued you. you knew there’s a lot more than what he shows on the outside. a part of you wanted to dig deeper into who he is - jungwon, not jakah.

“it’s time to go,” jungwon says, “let’s get this done as soon as we can.” and with that, he began to walk away, leaving you no choice but to quickly say your goodbyes to jeno and chasing after him - finally setting off onto your journey.

nothing was more awkward than this very moment. ever since you and jungwon began your journey, not a single word has been exchanged between you. the only thing that could be heard was the crunch of gravel underneath your feet. you didn’t mind it since you barely knew jungwon - plus it didn’t look like he wanted anything to do with you anyways. but you had to admit, it was getting boring having to walk in silence. you decide to take one for the team and open up a conversation. 

“so,” you started, “your real name’s jungwon? and your hero name is jakah. how did you come up with it?” you asked, expecting a reply from him. but nope, you were only met with silence. “okay,” you muttered, “i don’t know how i thought of ‘echo’ to be honest, it kind of just-“

“can you not?” he interrupted, voice filled with impatience, “i really don’t care about what you have to say.” his walking pace sped up so now he was walking in front of you.

sucking in a breath, you try to maintain your composure, “look i get it, you hate me for what i am and you were forced into this mission but i’m doing us both a favor to try to make this experience at least somewhat enjoyable.”

“okay, well don’t. you’re not my friend. i don’t trust you and i don’t like you. if it weren’t for the mission, i would’ve handed you and that partner of yours to the authorities myself.“ 

you weren’t going to lie, that stung a little. “hey, fuck you too. it’s not like i had a choice either. you were the one that kidnapped us so if anything you put yourself into this mess. you could’ve left us as is but no, you had to go and prove that you were good enough to your precious heeseung.” you argued, if he wants to be an asshole, you’ll be one in return.

jungwon’s face flushed with anger. he hated how right you were. he hated how you knew that he accepted this mission to show heeseung how capable he is to have a job as big as this. he hated you. “tell me where the amulet is. i’ll go get it myself.” he demanded.

“no.” you said firmly, “you won’t be able to get it without me. like heeseung said, i’m the ‘key’ to finding it.” you decided to end the conversation right there. 

as you were about to continue walking, you feel jungwon pull harshly at your wrist. “bullshit. you’re not the key. i don’t care about how special you think you are to this mission, tell me where the amulet is.” 

“or what? you’ll kill me? leave me for dead? you don’t scare me, jungwon. i’ve been through it all.” you yank your wrist from his grasp, glaring at him.

“fuck this.” he mutters, walking away from you.

“where are you going?” you yell.

“i’m finding the amulet myself.” he yells back, his figure shrinking as he walked away.

“asshole.” you muttered under your breath. there was nothing else you could do. it was very evident jungwon hates you and couldn’t even stand being around you.

that’s his problem.

you genuinely had no idea how jungwon would find the amulet on his own. he had no leads. you tried to warn him. for once, you wanted to be a good person and help someone out, but of course it blows up in your face. maybe this was just how things are for you - always trying to do the right thing, only for you to face the consequences. maybe it’s just a fated thing for you to be a villain. 

as you walked to your destination, your mind couldn’t help but wander off to jungwon. this was the dangerous part in the city. it’s basically the abandoned part, no one dares to go here. it has everything bad you can imagine - thieves, gangs, all the sketchy things. you knew this place like the back of your hand unlike jungwon. this was your territory and that is why you should’ve stuck with him. he could get himself killed here. but wait, why are you worrying so much about him? why are you wondering where he is or if he’s even okay? it’s not your business. he was the one that wanted to go off on his own. he hates you. you remind yourself.

but he needs me.

as embarrassing as it is to admit, jungwon was completely lost. he had no idea where he was going. and the fact that the night time is slowly approaching does not help with his situation. everything’s starting to look the same to him. he could’ve sworn he saw that tree 3 times already. is he just going in circles at this point?

jungwon mentally cursed at himself for letting his stubbornness take over. maybe it was a good idea for you to lead the way since it did look like you knew what you were doing. but did he want to admit that? no, not at all. you were a villain and to him, all villains are the same - cold and heartless. of course, he would have his guard up. 

…but was he too harsh? the more jungwon recalled your conversation, the more he started feeling somewhat guilty? to how he treated you. you never really fought back unless you had to, you were just doing what you had to do.

jungwon was conflicted. he can’t seem to figure you out. you’re not like any of the villains jungwon has come across. you haven’t tried to kill him or cause harm ever since you started the mission. in fact, you were so willing to go and find the amulet for heeseung - and you’re pretty determined to find it. why is that? and why are you being so secretive about the location of the amulet? why were you the “key”? there were too many unanswered questions. he wants to know more, more about you. 

wait what?

snapping out of his thoughts, jungwon checks back into reality only to find him falling to the ground with a rope tied around his ankles. he must’ve stepped into a trap while he wasn’t paying attention. panicking, he tries to quickly untie himself but is suddenly pinned down by a masked man holding a knife to his throat. 

“well, well, well, what is jakah doing out here all by himself?” the man cackles. jungwon looks around frantically for his gun but finds it a few inches away from him. it was too far for him to reach. “where’s your little girlfriend? did she leave out here to die? classic echo.” the outline of the man’s wide grin can be seen through his mask, “guess you’ll have to die out here alone. well deserved.” 

jungwon could feel the blade pushing deeper and deeper into his neck. he winces in pain but suddenly he feels the man’s hand go limp. he opens his eyes to find that a blade has gone through the man’s chest, blood dripping all over him. he falls off to the side. 

it was you. you saved him.

breathing heavily, you stare at jungwon. he stares back, expression unreadable. did you run to him? how did you find him? “it’s you.” he let out a small breath of relief.

you haven’t looked away from him. jungwon observed your expression. you looked relieved? hesitantly you asked, “are you hurt?”

he shook his head, “no, i’m okay.” you nodded, bending down to help untie his ankles. you helped him up afterwards. neither of you knew what to say. last time you talked, it ended badly. you didn’t want it to happen again but at the same time, you wanted to stay by his side. you can feel his eyes on you - scared to look at him, you looked somewhere else. “…i think you should lead the way.” you heard him say softly, catching you by surprise. the only thing you could do was nod. for once, you didn’t have anything to say. jungwon wasn’t used to it.

you were getting closer to your destination. the building was in sight. all you had to do was cross a bridge and go through a run-down building then you have made it. the closer you got, the more the nerves started to kick in. this was not how you expected your day to go. you were not expecting to run an errand for good guys. you were not expecting to see that person again. you didn’t want to.

noticing the slight shift in your energy, jungwon looks to you and asks, “is everything okay?”

“hm? oh… yeah i’m fine. just thinking…” you replied, trailing off. jungwon waited for you to continue your sentence but you didn’t. “we’re almost there. we just need to cross this bridge and enter that building, then we can bring the amulet back to your boss,” you paused, “then i’ll be out of your way.” you gave him a small fake smile but he could easily see through it.

you weren’t going to lie, you didn’t want the mission to end. to your surprise, you enjoyed your time with jungwon even if it was rough at first. it was a different experience, but a good one. you liked being on the good side for once. you also couldn’t ignore the fondness you have developed for the boy… you were going to miss this.

jungwon only nodded, feeling a strange pang in his heart. to his surprise, he also felt a bit of disappointment that the mission was coming to an end. he has grown used to your company in a short amount of time. he’s not used to having a partner but honestly, he likes it. it’s going to be hard for him going back to working alone.

the two of you walked in a comfortable silence but that was soon interrupted when you suddenly gasped in disbelief, “no way!” 

confused, jungwon watches you run ahead to look at something over the bridge railing, “where are you going?” he asks, catching up.

he looks at you and notices an excited expression on your face. his gaze slightly softens as he observes this rare expression, “it still looks the same…” you whisper. jungwon looks to where you were looking. there was a small pond surrounded by a beautiful field of healthy grass filled with white daisies. a weeping willow stood nearby, adding to the scene. it looked like something straight out of a storybook. it was very much different sight to see compared to what you have seen throughout your journey.

you turned to jungwon with a grin, “i used to go here a lot as a kid. i’d sit by the pond and take in the silence…” you reminisced, tons of memories were coming back to you - the good and bad.

“you’ve been here before?” jungwon asked, seeing a hint of sadness in your eyes.

“i grew up here actually.” you confessed softly, “it didn’t always use to look like this,” you said, gesturing to the area around you. “it was nice actually, quiet.”

“i can see why you liked this place…” he commented, taking in the beautiful sight in front of him. he’s never seen you this calm before.

you thought carefully about what you wanted to say next. for some reason, you felt like you could tell jungwon anything at this moment. you felt safe. “you must be so confused on what exactly it is we’re doing,” you chuckled, grabbing jungwon’s attention, “uhm, you know how heeseung said that i was the key to getting the amulet?” he nodded slowly, “well, that’s because the person who has the amulet is my father.” jungwon’s eyes widened, it’s all starting to make sense now. “i haven’t seen him in years. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know that i’m alive.” you let out a bitter laugh.

“what do you mean by that?” jungwon asked cautiously. judging by your tone, this might be something you’d want to talk about. he’s not expecting you to open up to him especially with how he has treated you.

“i hope you realize i’m about to trauma dump you,” you joked, jungwon didn’t laugh. instead, he looked concerned - something that completely caught you off guard. because of this, your expression changed back to a serious one. “i wasn’t always like this,” you gestured to yourself, “bad, i mean. in fact, growing up i wanted to be a superhero. the idea of saving and helping people always spoke out to me as well as having people look up to you. but, not all dreams come true.” you sighed, “my father isn’t exactly the greatest person, in my opinion. i mean, he left me for dead at a very young age just to save that precious amulet of his. it’s funny cause i actually know heeseung,” hearing his name, jungwon perks up, “heeseung’s been looking for that amulet for all these years because of the secrets it holds. like he said, it being in the wrong hands can lead to chaos,” your eyes begin to water as you recall past events, “one day, my father and i were cornered by heeseung and his men. he demanded for the amulet but, my dad refused. a fight broke out, i tried to hide somewhere but my dad threw a bomb as a distraction and ran off, leaving me behind. everyone leaves, it was just me. i thought my dad would come back for me but nope. i was all scared and alone. so i had to do what i could to survive and unfortunately those things weren’t necessarily considered to be good acts…”

“heeseung didn’t save you? and where was your mom?” he asked, puzzled why heeseung would leave you behind.

“heeseung didn’t care about me. all he wanted was the amulet. and my mom died when i was a baby - complications during birth.”

“i’m so sorry…” jungwon placed his hand on top of yours, rubbing soothing circles. you looked down at your hands, surprised by his sudden gesture. your heart fluttered at his actions. “that must’ve been so hard to go through all alone.”

“i wasn’t alone.” you smile fondly, “i had jeno.”

“what is jeno to you exactly?” you raise an eyebrow at him, “if you don’t mind me asking…”

“why? are you jealous?” you tease.

“no.” yes he was. “i’m just trying to get to know you better.” he quickly clarified.

“you definitely weren’t trying to do that before,” you laugh, “but no, jeno’s not my boyfriend. he’s just someone really special to me. he found me when i was all alone and he stuck by my side through it all. he saved me when i needed somebody the most. so i owe him my life really.”

“is that why you accepted the mission so quickly, despite your father?” he asked.

you nodded, “i can’t just leave him there. he needs me. and it could give us the life we’ve always wanted.”

“and what’s that life you’ve always wanted?” jungwon’s not sure what possessed him but he built up the courage to get a little closer to you. his entire body now facing you.

flustered by the close proximity, you stuttered, “uhm not having to commit any more crimes. living in a quiet, peaceful area, nothing coming to bother us. just enjoying each other’s company…” you trailed off, looking into jungwon’s eyes, neither of you wanting to break eye contact. you could’ve sworn you saw his eyes flickered to your lips.

“and you want to live this life with jeno?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. his hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

“yes…” you whisper.

“okay.” was all he said, before turning his attention back to the pond.

you needed a second to calm down your racing heart. “well, i basically just told you my entire life story, what’s yours?” you ask.

he shrugged, “there’s not much to tell. just your average superhero origin story.”

you scoff, “please, i’m sure your story is very entertaining. i wanna learn more about you.”

he breathes out “well, kind of like you, i have always been on my own my whole childhood. but that was my choice. i’ve always wanted to be a superhero so i made that my entire life. i was dead set on becoming one so i ran at every opportunity to help people. eventually, all my acts got heeseung’s attention so he took me under his wing. he trained me and got me to where i am today. i’ve always looked up to him and never wanted to let him down. i guess it’s cause i don’t want him to regret choosing me to become a hero...”

“you’re a good person, jungwon.” you say, “i have a lot of respect for you actually. i think heeseung’s very lucky to have you. he’d be an idiot to not recognize all that you’ve done.” you smile.

“you know, you’re not the scary villain you make yourself to be.”

you laugh, “everyone has some layers to them.”

you and jungwon finally reach your father’s hideout. standing in front of the door, you let out a shaky breath. you feel jungwon’s hand on your shoulder, “hey, i’m right here.” he offers you a reassuring smile.

“here goes nothing.” you mumbled, opening the door.

you slowly walk in, looking for any sign of him. you gesture for jungwon to look around. as you wandered around and took in the details of his hideout, your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the past. how could he just leave you like that? you always thought you and your father had a strong relationship but apparently not since he was able to leave you so easily. you wondered if things would’ve been different if he never left you. maybe you could’ve walked down the better path. but that would mean that you’d never have met jeno… and even jungwon. that’s something you can’t even imagine - and you don’t even want to.

“y/n,” you hear jungwon call out anxiously. you quickly turn your head towards the sound of his voice and the scene in front of you causes you to freeze. there stood your father pointing a gun at jungwon, his hands were in the air, silently praying that he wouldn’t get shot.

you let out a shaky breath, “put down the gun. he’s with me.”

to your surprise, he slowly lowered the gun, “you’ve grown so much.” he said, his voice tinged with nostalgia. 

“well that’s what growing up does to you. you could’ve seen it if you hadn’t abandoned me.” you said coldly.

“i did what i had to.” he defended, causing you to roll your eyes.

“you did what you had to?” you scoffed, “so leaving me for an amulet was your top priority. wow, you deserve a ‘dad of the year’ award.” you say, sarcastically. 

“we’re not doing this right now, what even brings you here? why are you suddenly working with a superhero.” he motions towards jungwon, who’s eyes were only on you.

“that shouldn’t concern you,” you shook your head, “i need the amulet.”

“i’m not giving you the amulet, y/n.” he sighed, “you should know that.”

“i see you’re still the same,” you spit out, “you stole that amulet, dad. what good does that even do for you? it’s been years and you haven’t even done anything with it. why do you want to live the rest of your life in hiding?”

“i need this amulet for answers, y/n. don’t you want to find out more about our family history?”

“there’s a reason why this amulet was locked away. maybe those secrets could do more harm than good,” you look down at the ground, “besides, i have no interest in our family… i had to learn the hard way that i don’t even have one.”

the room goes silent at your words. all jungwon wanted to do was pull you into your arms and tell you that it wasn’t true - that you are loved and you have a family.

“i know you want nothing to do with me. but please, give me the amulet. you’ll never see my face again, i promise. i really really need it,” you beg, you don’t even care how pathetic you look now. all you wanted was to get this stupid amulet and save your best friend. “i have so much on the line.”

you honestly have no idea what you had just said because suddenly you see that the amulet has been tossed at your feet. you quickly bend down to pick it up and examine it. you had to make sure it wasn’t a trap. “i don’t know why you need this so badly or what even happened but… the last thing i want to is my daughter to lost whatever she has left.”

your eyes fill your tears but you quickly blink them away. “thank you.” you whisper.

“now go before i regret it.” he said with an awkward laugh.

you nod and begin to walk out but you were stopped by your father calling out to you, “i know i wasn’t the best dad but… i do love you, y/n. and i wish you the best in everything.”

you didn’t know what to say to that. it definitely wasn’t something you were expecting. but due to your circumstances, you couldn’t really give him a proper answer… so all you did was give him a sad smile before leaving.

once reaching the outside again, you and jungwon immediately make your way back to heeseung. you felt like you can finally breathe again. you stare at the amulet in your hands. this was what ruined what you had left of a family - this chunk of gold. “are you okay?” you hear jungwon say.

you nodded, smiling out of reflex, “yeah, of course. let’s just get back, yeah?”

his gaze lingered on you, a concerned expression on his face“you know, you don’t always have to put on a strong face. it’s okay to let your walls down, y/n.” 

his words made you stop. the walls you’ve spent years building suddenly crumble before you. your breath hitches and for some reason, you were no longer able to hold back your tears. jungwon, without hesitation, pulls you into his embrace.

“it’s just hard,” you sobbed into his shoulder, “ i don’t even know how i got here. how did i fall down this path? i don’t want it.” 

“it’s not your fault, y/n.” he comforted, “it’s never too late to start all over. you have it in you, you can be the person you want to be. it’s all over now, you and jeno can finally leave. you deserve it.”

“but i don’t want to leave you.” you confessed, pulling away from him.

his shoulders fell and he gently cupped your cheeks, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, “i don’t want to leave you either,” he admits softly, “but you deserve a chance at a second life.”

you stare into his eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. never would you have thought that you’d fall for the yang jungwon. the same goes for him. you’re from two very different worlds, it was never expected you’d even be on good terms with each other. but apparently in your situation, it was possible. it was something special.

“heeseung? we’re back.” jungwon announces, heeseung immediately runs up to you.

“you got the amulet?” he asked, a little surprised that you managed to make it back.

“right here,” you pull out the amulet and gave it to him.

he sighs in relief and examines the amulet, “finally,” he mutters under his breath. you watch heeseung in anticipation, waiting for his next words, “good work.” he comments. 

you see him glance at someone from behind you, gesturing something. before you could look back, you felt your wrists being restrained, “w-wait, what are you doing?” you panic.

“you really think i’d let a villain run loose? wow, you really are pathetic.” heeseung snickers, “lock her up.” he tells the man that’s restraining you. 

shock ran through your body as you try to process what had just happened. you struggle against the restraints and resist the man holding you back but the more you tried, the weaker you felt. your heart races as you were being dragged towards the cells.

“jungwon!” you call out in desperation.

“hey, this wasn’t part of the deal!” he yelled, attempting to run to you but heeseung holds him back. “let her go!” he tries to fight back but it’s no use. you’re already gone.

jungwon looks at heeseung in disbelief, “let her go.” he commands.

“since when did you care about her?” heeseung’s face drops, “don’t tell me you’ve fallen for her… do you know who she is?”

“i know that she’s a good person. she just fell down the right path but she’s capable.” he defends. “and you,” jungwon points a finger at heeseung’s chest, “you could’ve helped her. she wouldn’t be where she is right now if you’d help her when she was a kid. but you left her.” he accused. “you’re no better than her father.”

heeseung’s face hardens the more jungwon accuses him, “that’s not how you talk to your boss. don’t let your emotions take over.”

“i’ll talk to you however i want to!” he retorts, “you let her suffer. you could’ve saved her but you chose not to. you’re just as responsible for how she turned out.”

you sat in your cell, listening to every word that was being exchanged between heeseung and jungwon. you could hear the echoes of jungwon’s heavy footsteps as he walked away in frustration. now it was just you left alone once again. 

you pull at your hair in anger. what now?

it felt like hours since you’ve been locked up. you sat against the wall in defeat. you lost. you don’t know what to do anymore. you shouldn’t even be surprised. of course you’d get locked up - you’re a bad guy after all and that’s a hero’s job, put away the bad guys. you should’ve have gotten your hopes up. “jeno?” you croaked.

he hummed in response, “i’m sorry.” you say, your voice cracking, “this is my fault. i shouldn’t have trusted them.”

“it’s not your fault, y/n. stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. you did what you could.” he says gently.

“we’re never going to be able to be free. it’s never going to happen.”

“you don’t know that,” he whispers, “this might be another one of those sticky situations we get stuck in. we’ll get out of this.”

“it’s not that likely.” you sigh. you close your eyes, feeling exhausted and drained. there really was nothing you could do. all you could do was just sit and await your fate.

moments pass until you hear hurried footsteps coming towards your direction. you perk up, in caution. turning the corner, revealed jungwon who was out of breath. “jungwon?” you stood up and walked closer to the bars. jeno perks up, watching the two of you.

“i’m getting you guys out of here,” he whispers, “i’m not letting you stay here.”

your heart flutters once more. this boy will never fail to surprise you. “but what about heeseung? he’s gonna kill you once he finds out you let us out.” you asked, concerned.

“that doesn’t matter to me. you’re more important.” jungwon opens your cell and quickly moves over to jeno’s. 

“why are you helping us?”

“because i know there’s more to you than being a bad guy. you’re a good person, y/n. you just need a chance.” your gaze softens, “come on, hurry. follow me.”

the three of you run through a hidden passageway jungwon found. next thing you knew, you were able to be the light again. you walked until there was some good distance between you and heeseung’s place. reality begins to hit you and you start to realize what’s about to happen. you look at jeno and he gives you a smile before walking away, giving you and jungwon some space. you stand, looking down at your feet, not being able to look at jungwon. you feel him getting closer to you, feeling his breath hit your face. “you made it.” he whispers, tilting your chin up to look at him.

“thanks to you,” you smile at him. “you saved me...”

“you saved me first,” he laughs softly, his smile then falters, “is… it selfish of me to say that i don’t want you to go even though i saved you?”

you laugh, “i don’t think so. i don’t want to leave you behind either.” your eyes well up with tears, “god, jungwon what have you done to me?” you sniffle.

jungwon lets out a small laugh before closing the distance between you. his lips press against yours, almost out of desperation. you return the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. you let your tears fall. you wish this moment could last forever… but unfortunately all good things must come to an end eventually.

you kissed until you ran out of air. pulling away, jungwon wipes your tears away and kisses your forehead. “you guys should start heading out. i don’t want heeseung finding you.” he says, voice wavering. 

you nod sadly, “yeah…”

“i’ll come find you, i promise.”

“and i’ll wait for you.” jeno walks up to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder, giving you a comforting smile. you start to back away from jungwon, who gives you a sad smile. if you were able to hear the sound of his heart breaking, it would be very loud and clear. you had to fight the urge to just run back to him and stay with him, but you knew you had to leave. like jungwon said, you deserve a chance. you can’t give up now.

you give jungwon one last wave, “’til next time, partner.” you saluted and blew him a kiss.

there will be a next time. jungwon will make sure of it.

©berryyuni 2024. all work is written by me. do not copy, translate or repost

taglist (open): @suneng @j-jinxee @cherrikii @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @laylasbunbunny

UNLUCKY GIRL SYNDROME ✦ PSH

CLICK ME TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING

WORD COUNT. 14.5 k / 31.2 k

the plain ceiling of your bedroom has started to take on all sorts of shapes and colours the longer you look at it. a certain anxiety has been building up the longer you go without doing exactly as the flip phone asked.

the impending doom creeps in whenever you let it.

you're snapped out of your reverie though, by a chime from your phone. your actual phone, which is why you actually pick it up to check and see.

without even realizing, a smile rises to your face at the sender. park sunghoon, or as he's labelled in your phone, ice ice baby. initially just a reference to the boy’s chilling attitude, nowadays you try to ignore the little flutter you feel every time you read the contact. it says baby because of the song. that’s it…

ice ice baby: I made an Instagram 

wait, what?

you: news of the century!!!

you: the world trembles….

ice ice baby: Well?

you: well what?

ice ice baby: Aren't you going to give me yours

you: oh!!! right. my handle is ynism 

ice ice baby: Ha

ice ice baby: Okay

you furrow your brows, remembering there’s something you have to say, but not quite being able to put your finger on it until you open the social media app to accept sunghoon’s request.

on your way to the activity section, you see a post from sunoo on your home page and it hits you! right, you quickly accept and follow back, noting another thing to mention as you pause to laugh at the utterly blank profile. no name, bio, or photo. as expected, you're the only follower.

you: btw. u should add the other team members

you: and u def don't have to but I think ud want to have your account private

ice ice baby: Private?

you: like no one can see your posts or following or stories without you accepting them

ice ice baby: Oh

ice ice baby: Yes I want that 

ice ice baby: How do I do it

you: Settings and activity > Account privacy > Private account

your attention is grabbed by a message from the festival promotion team member group chat, labelled: promote this dick into yo mouth (courtesy of ni-ki).

seonflower: so did anyone post the 7 days to decelis festival story

fighting the supersenior allegations: not it

junglewon: i seem to recall you being it actually

fighting the supersenior allegations: nuh uh

ipadkid: bro’s trying to nuh uh his way out of it

you: did it not occur to anyone that we can just check the schedule

ice ice baby: It says Heeseung’s in charge of creating and posting today’s graphic

fighting the supersenior allegations: HE LIES

you: i’ll take over for u smh just make sure you put up the posters bcus thats also your job

fighting the supersenior allegations: OMG thank you i think ive seen true kindness

fighting the supersenior allegations: ur an angel everyone else can die

junglewon: she’s an angel… for enabling your bad habits

fighting the supersenior allegations: yup

fighting the supersenior allegations: crazy how that works

seonflower: i think i have a new ick

ipadkid: slackers?

seonflower: no. heeseung

you: LMFAO ur so right icklist gains a new entry

fighting the supersenior allegations: hey come on let’s think about this

you: mm. no. also, can i bring a friend onto the team?

ipadkid: depends. will they take my work?

junglewon: look at what you’ve done heeseung. what a bad influence

seonflower: dont listen to him, of course you can ^ - ^

you shake your head in amusement, pulling your laptop to quickly make a graphic to post on your school’s social media accounts. you’d probably end up using a random template from the graphic design site, but hey that’s what heeseung got on such short notice and if it turned out ugly you would simply blame him.

a chime comes from the nightstand you’ve set your cell phone and you instinctively reach out for it, flinching when you realize instead a flip phone is in your grasp. whoever this entity is, they’re a real piece of work. 

you sigh, opening it even while knowing it’s probably a bad idea.

unknown number: you’re real popular huh? how is two-timing working out for you?

you scrunch your forehead, what the actual hell is this motherfucker talking about? you sigh, tossing it god knows where in lieu of responding.

there’s two messages from sunghoon on instagram, around 15 minutes apart.

ps.hoon: Who are you inviting onto the team

ps.hoon: I don’t think I can figure this privating thing out. I’m at the park. Will you show me?

you don’t know what possessed sunghoon to send either of those messages, or what causes you to agree to him immediately, despite your fondness for your bed.

you do know that you’re practically skipping as you make your way to the park, though

you venture a glance above the top of your phone at the boy sitting across from you. it’s incredibly difficult to hold back a grin from breaking out on your face.

your hands twitch at the urge to squeal or rant on your old writing platform, or any of your abandoned associated social medias, but somehow it doesn’t seem right to do. that doesn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat every time you attempt to discreetly glance at sunghoon.

get this, he’s the one who pulled a chair to sit at your desk and eat lunch with you today. some might exclaim, “the bar is in hell!” but you know better. this means sunghoon is comfortable with you. he likes being around you, the thought is just about enough to send your mind spinning.

you had, however noticed how uncomfortable the stares and whispers seemed to make the boy. this prompts you to drag him outside the class, figuring one of the benches that litter the courtyard of the academy would make a good fit for lunch. the weather has been quite nice these days after all.

it has nothing to do with the wind that gently tousles sunghoon’s hair, messing it up almost lovingly. why would anyone think that?

of course, instead of bringing you elation and excitement, the revelation that ‘woah, park sunghoon is actually really fucking attractive, was he always that attractive?’ makes you feel like you’re going to throw up.

in a good way, you think?

regardless, said anxiety means your phone is definitely a much better conversation partner than the boy, especially because it gives you the perfect cover to admire him. you tear your gaze back to your phone, feeling it vibrate in your hand. ah, right. you were speaking to jake.

you: wanna meet the team 2day?

b2b mathlete f2b model: ummm

b2b mathlete f2b model: okay!

you: what a wonderful way to answer a yes or no question

b2b mathlete f2b model: （◕ω◕）✌

you smile softly at the response, amused at the use of kaomojis and curious as to who had shown them to him in the first place. you freeze mid-thought however, suddenly feeling a rather striking and intense gaze aimed your way.

you look up to see sunghoon… pouting? surely not. but there’s no other way to describe the slight furrow in his brow, pursed lips, and puffed up cheeks. you resist the urge to rub your eyes and check if they’re indeed functioning correctly.

you don’t have to comment on this odd behaviour, because sunghoon speaks.

“you know,” sunghoon drawls, “it’s not kind to go on your phone while you’re hanging out with someone.”

you chuckle at him referencing your joke again, before flicking his forehead, “and it’s not kind to prevent our team from having lunch and hanging out together.”

you’re talking about the fact that, of course, after sitting down at the bench you had mused letting the others know where the two of you are but sunghoon had adamantly refused. you agreed with mild confusion, reckoning that he just isn’t that comfortable with them yet, despite the fact that you had seen him teasing sunoo just yesterday. and also, him having some inane competition with heeseung on whose arms are stronger.

regardless, the point is that sunghoon had said no and now you’re forced to pretend like the mere action of catching his gaze with yours isn’t enough to set your nerves alight.

sunghoon raises a brow, rubbing his forehead petulantly as if you had actually caused the boy pain: “so you’re texting them?”

his assumption is logical in a sense, considering what you had said to him. but it’s wrong.

you pause, “... no.”

now sunghoon narrows his eyes, suspicious at the delay in your speech.

“is it the friend you asked about on the group chat yesterday?” he tries.

you nod with a smile, “yup! i was asking him if he wanted to meet everyone later today.”

and if sunghoon wasn’t already frowning before, he certainly is the second you said ‘him.’ he’s frustrated, but he can neither pinpoint nor explain why. ah, this is so annoying. he’s never had these problems before. mostly because he point-blank refrained from speaking to people, but that’s irrelevant. to him. it’s your fault.

just as he thinks he might be on the precipice, the cusp of putting these feelings into words, a hand smacks on the table between you, palm down.

he follows the hand to see a boy popular in their grade, sang jaehyun or something. he faintly recalls some of his ex-fans deliberately saying they were leaving to follow the model because he was quote unquote actually able to do his job right.

talk about harsh. sunghoon’s confused, wondering what the hell this kid would want to do with either of you, but that’s before his ears pick up a faint mutter of “speak of the devil,” fall from your lips.

his expression grows more sombre as he comprehends the meaning of the comment, as quiet as it is. so this is the friend you want to introduce to the team. sunghoon resists the urge to let out a scoff. only you would have a friend that you wanted to introduce be a model known by 99.9% of the school. crazy.

jake smiles at the two of you, an edge you hadn’t really seen before present, “oh? i didn’t expect to see you.”

he glances at sunghoon, “who’s this?”

a vein might as well have twitched in sunghoon’s jaw with how tense he is. he doesn’t know if the boy actually didn’t know who he is or is just pretending, but the question irks him all the same.

quick to (unknowingly) diminish all of his upset is you however, “this is my friend, sunghoon!”

you lean across the table right into sunghoon’s highly-valued personal space, ignoring jake’s scrutinizing look, to whisper to sunghoon.

“that’s okay, right?”

his heart stutters. sunghoon blinks. then blinks again. what did you just say? wait. what’re you even asking? you’re too close, he can feel the kiss of your exhales on his cheek. can smell the fragrance of what is either body wash or perfume wafting from you, forcing him to stop from inhaling deeply at the risk of looking like a creep.

when sunghoon finally gets all 349 critical errors and 122 warnings his brain is shouting under control, he manages to splutter out a, “yeah, yes, of course, yeah.”

at the end sunghoon’s not sure what came out of his mouth. maybe he should nod again to confirm. but all of his nerves are wiped clean when he finally tears his gaze away from you and back to jake, only to find an unimpressed expression in return.

sunghoon’s head is crystal clear now, focus sharp in a way he was only able to achieve while flying on the ice in a stadium. that isn’t quite right, jake is evoking his instincts of facing off against other skaters. the drive to compete.

but why did he see jake as competition? for what?

ni-ki’s incredibly excited as he makes his way to sim jake’s last period class. he has plans with the boy, sunghoon, heeseung to play basketball after school. 

as for why he’s so excited, sunoo and jungwon never want to play any sort of sport with him. which is just annoying, because it’s not like they're unathletic. they clearly have the physical fitness, and yet lack any sort of desire to play with him.

he used to just grumble about them being old men trapped in teenage bodies, but now he didn’t need to! now they could actually have a 2v2 and enjoy it. because as agreeable as heeseung is, even he gets tired of 1v1s with ni-ki on the court. even games of 21 weren’t cutting it anymore.

he’s eager to finally have a nice number. admittedly, the game would be even better if they joined in as a 3v3 is able to resemble a real game. but ni-ki has to choose his battles.

he is still a little awestruck, not expecting the girl they have absorbed into their friend group to bring two boys along with her. but that’s your charm, ni-ki muses. even the four of them were endeared by you in your first meeting.

you have an incredible capability to make friends, and if ni-ki gets two extra friends out of it, all the better for him. it ‘s like a buy-one-get-two deal. he snorts a little at the comparison, waiting for jake, now outside the classroom.

the boy’s resting-bitch-face prevents the second years that are spilling out from paying him any mind. as he waits he muses on jake’s introduction to the group.

initially none of them had believed you when you informed them sim jaeyun of all freaking people was going to join them and hang out. heeseung had even remarked that making outlandish claims is his job and not yours. but then he agreed to it easily enough, shocking ni-ki and the other two, because what?

sunoo and jungwon were consulting in the corner and together made the conclusion that you were pranking everyone. seriously, they had some sort of freaky telepathic bond going on. well, it isn’t really telepathy if they discuss it out loud, but why are they attached by the hip all the time?

anyways, when jake, as in smoking-hot-model-jake had actually walked through the doors, their jaws had dropped. less at the fact that it was him and more that 1. you weren’t lying and 2. heeseung of all people was the only one who was correct in this situation.

ni-ki could tell jake had initially been uncomfortable from their gawking, and probably the intense stare burning into him courtesy of sunghoon. he seemed to relax though, when he realized they didn’t really care.

no one wanted anything from him. well. ni-ki had immediately tried convincing the boy into picking up his festival duties, but that just seemed to relax jake more, realizing this was just a regular old group of highschoolers.

ni-ki had graciously done jake the favour of ignoring the mushy, soft, and grateful look jake had sent your way. which is why he doesn’t appreciate the time jake is taking right now. that’s 10 minutes they could have been playing basketball already, damn it.

finally, jake walks out, sending ni-ki a sheepish smile. 

ni-ki, of course, flips him off in response. 

jake’s raucous laughter fills the hall and he’s struck by the sudden thought that he hadn’t realized just how much he was missing out on until now. how much easier navigating through the murky and questionable issues that came with modelling is when he has somewhere to vent and relax. when he has a support system.

he ruffles the younger boy’s hair as they start to make their way to the courts where sunghoon and heeseung are undoubtedly already waiting for them. this of course, is a slightly difficult task considering ni-ki is, in fact, taller than jake.

still, he manages, laughing even louder when ni-ki swats his hand and grumbles that he’s ruining the style.

somehow, the conversation turns to the festival as they near their destination, twin looks of annoyance already visible on their friends’ faces.

“you’re attending, right?” jake questions nervously. he wants to go, but he doesn’t want to go alone. and he hopes that they’re good enough friends to hang out there, but it has been like two days since they met.

ni-ki huffs, “yeah, as overpriced as those tickets were, i wouldn’t miss it. sunoo’s been talking about how fun doing all of the activities together would be nonstop.”

jake hums, “i see.”

ni-ki seems to sense something, as he pushes out a quick, “we’re meeting at jungwon’s house first so get his address,” before running to where sunghoon and heeseung have been sitting like grumpy, neglected toddlers.

jake smiles as he watches them interact. ni-ki messes with them, what he did being unclear, and then gets chased around the court. jake discreetly pulls his phone out and films the scene. it occurs to him that it’s been a long while since he’s experienced an atmosphere like this.

you can’t tell if your most recent choice to check on the flip phone is a good or bad idea. sitting in front of you, on the floor, it somehow looks larger than it is due to its ominous nature.

there, lying in front of you, is an ultimatum. date or die. use or give up.

unknown number: you have until the day after your school festival.

unknown number: i’ve given you enough time.

unknown number: if the day arrives and you haven’t received a heart from either one of them, you’ll get eliminated ^ - ^

you don’t know what to think, can’t decide whether to blame yourself or not. it’s schrodinger’s ultimatum. if you hadn’t decided to open the phone, would it not exist? or would the entity on the other side have been cruel enough to off you without a warning?

you can’t decide, and that’s what truly stops you from launching into a spiral of self-blame. maybe the entity needed you to see it, that might have given you some more time. or maybe the entity is dead set on killing you if you don’t do exactly as it asks.

the point is, whatever the truth is, that you have approximately three days to get a heart from either one of the boys. you furrow, what does that even mean? romantic love, yes, but what constitutes a heart?

you: what counts as a heart

unknown number: you asked that later than i expected.

unknown number: you need a confession or you need them to acknowledge they’re in love with you in their heart.

you: how would you even know that second one

unknown number: just because i don’t have the power to manipulate the heart, doesn’t mean i don’t have the power to read it.

you sigh, putting the phone back down. well this is massively unhelpful. this basically meant you have to manipulate either one of the boys into confessing to you before the day after the festival ends.

the most logical way to do this is probably to choose the one more likely to be receptive to your feelings and confess in a way that would at least get them to give you a chance, if not say they like you back.

but that just doesn’t feel right. and you might be a fucking coward for not being able to pull together the resolve to do it immediately, but is it worth it? is it worth manipulating someone so you don’t die? logically yes. your life is worth more than someone’s feelings.

and yet. and yet, you still dial sunoo’s number and ask him if you can talk. he tells you he’s on the grass outside with jungwon, but upon noting the tremor in your voice says he’s coming right away.

of course, you’re in yet another storage room. which you text sunoo to inform him after you cut the call and realize you hadn’t told him where you are yet.

it’s another agonizing few minutes of running over every possible scenario in your head before sunoo arrives, out of breath.

he bursts into the room, neither of you noticing the presence of a door stopper in your disarray.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” the boy immediately questions, eyes wide with concern.

you take a brief moment to let your heart warm at the raw emotion from your friend before answering.

“i–” and suddenly it hits you that you don’t know how to put it into words. pathetic. this… entity had been tormenting you for weeks and yet you couldn’t even speak up about it.

the look sunoo gives you is gentle and patient, though. you stay silent for a few seconds, trying to gather the composure so that your voice doesn’t crack and waver when you speak up again.

“look, if you had a choice,” you start, and then nervously add, “hypothetically, if you had to choose between hurting someone or you’d die, what would you do?”

sunoo’s brows furrow in immense confusion. you seemed to be in a genuine panic, disarray present in every atom of your body, and yet the question you asked made absolutely no sense.

you’re highschoolers, what do you mean that you would die?

sunoo decides to address the bigger issue directly, “what do you mean, you’d die.”

you stiffen, realizing that there’s no way sunoo won’t keep prying if you went down this path.

you sigh, “okay, not that serious. but i mean, you have to hurt someone or you get hurt what would you do?”

“i don’t think i’d choose, because in which situation–”

you’re near tears when you interrupt, “sunoo. please.”

sunoo sighs and shakes his head, utterly bewildered and yet unable to tell anything but the truth. he seriously hopes he’s leading you away from harming someone else and not into you getting harmed.

sunoo’s voice is a soft murmur when he speaks, “if those were really, definitively the only two options, as selfish as it sounds, it depends on the person.”

you squint, “what do you mean?”

he purses his lips, “i could never hurt someone i love. i don’t know about the choice i’d make, but i know that when it came down to it, i wouldn’t be able to do it.”

you nod, contemplative. someone you love, huh. 

your mind is racing a mile a minute even as you numbly mutter that you got to leave, much to sunoo’s utter confusion.

the second you walk out the door though, a hand grabs your arm. it’s jake. he looks so serious; the only time you can remember him donning a similar expression was when he thought you were stalking him.

jake only says, “we need to talk about whatever the hell that was,” before dragging you to god knows where.

when he finally stops moving, you look around to realize this is the very first storage closet you had encountered jake in. or at least, the broken bottle in the corner is identical.

he makes sure the door is fully and properly closed before looking around for a random rag and stuffing it in the gap under the door.

you watch the scene with a sense of calm now that you’ve made your decision. it’s a shame you didn’t get to know jake and the others better before this. when jake turns to face you, you’re surprised to see pure terror on his face.

“what are you planning, y/n,” he urges with a panic you haven’t heard from him before.

you’re not quite sure as to why the boy’s so frantic, even as his hands grasp your shoulders.

“tell me,” he breathes, right in your personal space, “what do you mean you’d die if you didn’t hurt someone.”

you look away, trying to avoid his desperate eyes, “it was a mistake. i exaggerated.”

and then all of a sudden you feel the boy's head rest on your shoulder. when he speaks again, he’s quiet.

“please tell me you’re not planning on killing yourself,” he presses the plea into your shoulder.

you gasp, “what?! no.”

but then it hits you that that’s kind of exactly what you’re doing and you inhale sharply, “i mean, i-” but the words don’t come out.

you can feel jake take in a shuddering breath and you’re not even sure he can hear the words pouring out of his lips.

“please, i can’t go through this again,” he whispers. you flinch, aware you’ve just touched upon some trauma.

a hand comes up to soothe jake’s hair. you’re left with the question of whether it would really be that bad to tell the truth. but would jake believe you? you flip the coin constantly in your head, trying to choose one way or another.

but then jake speaks again, vulnerable and raw.

“just, please tell me what you’re going through, whatever it is. i promise i’ll be there for you.”

almost subconsciously, the words slip out, “whatever it is?”

jake just nods, serious as ever, “whatever it is.”

so that’s that. it’s not like you have no evidence considering the love count. although, you wonder if jake won’t be able to see it and that you genuinely are insane. but. if he doesn’t believe you and breaks off the friendship, what do you have to lose? you’re going to die anyways, right?

so you tell jake. everything. even going as far as to pull the flip phone as evidence, sighing in relief when jake does indeed see the love count.

jake is quiet for a bit, before he finally spoke.

“i believe you. you have no reason to lie about this, and it doesn’t seem like delusion either considering i can see the numbers too.”

you nod enthusiastically, encouraging him to continue.

“and you have to either get a confession, or someone to know they love you, in their heart?” jake questions, unsure if he's getting all of this right.

you sigh, “yes. but the only solution i can think of that would work before the day after tomorrow is just confessing to someone and getting them to date me. and i can’t do that.”

he frowns, “well, why not?”

you clear your throat, “the two options the phone gave me are… you and sunghoon.”

his brows shoot up, “what?”

“yeah… according to the flip phone neither of you have liked anyone before,” you mumble.

jake’s brows furrow, “well, that’s not… i guess?”

you decide to ignore the small comment, “yeah so, i can’t do that to either of you. to be honest, i don’t even know if admitting this all to you even leaves you as a valid candidate. and i can’t do something like that to sunghoon.”

‘not when he’s just started to believe people can be kind just for the sake of being kind.’

jake sighs, “well there has to be a solution other than just letting yourself die.”

you see the cogs turning in his head so you sigh, trying to nip whatever he’s thinking of at the bud.

“you haven’t dealt with that asshole like i have, i’m almost sure you’re not a valid candidate anymore, but even if you were i wouldn’t make you date me just for something like this. i’ll… i’ll figure it out.”

you’re already standing up even as you say this. jake doesn’t rush to stop you.

he wants to confess, he wants to tell you he likes you. the thing is, is this feeling a symptom of wanting to save your life, or is this genuine? he can’t tell and he definitely isn’t about to give you false hope.

one day, he has one day to put this all together and figure out if he likes you. and if he doesn't, how he can save your life.

the day is finally here. surprisingly, the knowledge that this quite literally might be your last day on earth doesn’t bother you as much as you thought it would.

instead, you lie on the couch in jungwon’s living room, bored out of your mind. you’d think for a group of guys, you’d be the last one ready as a girl.

no, instead, you arrive at 5 PM, an hour before the festival was slated to start and the agreed upon time for meeting up at jungwon’s house. not only are none of the other guys there, but jungwon himself isn’t ready.

a few minutes later, heeseung arrives, but not because he’s ready. arrives to change here? sometimes the boy really felt like an alien. instead, you stifle amusement as heeseung roots through jungwon’s closet and comes down the stairs holding an outfit that is surprisingly well put together and in his style, despite being from jungwon’s closet. huh. who would have thought. 

he turns to you, surprising you.

“which one?”

your attention is torn away from maeum, jungwon’s dog who’s been roaming around in front of you.

“what?”

heeseung reiterates, “between these two, which one looks better.”

you sigh, “they look exactly the same to me.”

he shakes his head in disappointment, pulling his phone out to do something, and it’s only after the call connects that you realize he’s video calling jake.

you sigh, wanting to get to the festival already. your saviour comes in the form of sunghoon, five minutes later.

your eyes widen when you open the door (jungwon and heeseung being occupied) to see him. wow. he looks amazing.

you clear your throat awkwardly, figuring you need to tell him as much.

“you look, uh. nice,” you fumble as you move out of the doorway to allow the boy to make his way inside.

you think you can hear heeseung snort from further inside, but you graciously decide to let it go.

especially, considering sunghoon chooses that moment to respond with a soft smile, “you don’t look too bad yourself.”

the comment makes you giddy; suddenly it feels like the festival is coming up too soon. you’d have to give up the time you get to spend speaking to just him for group activities.

sunghoon sits down on the couch with you, leaning into your space slightly as he speaks.

the two of you are so absorbed into speaking with each other, you don’t even notice when sunoo and ni-ki arrive. they snicker and nudge each other at the scene, already placing bets on when the two of you would get together. not without taking several candid photos first though, of course. jungwon comes out, dressed, to join in on their conspiracies.

ni-ki reckons something would happen today, but sunoo has a nagging doubt from when he had that conversation in the storage room with you. something felt off, so he puts out that he thinks it would actually be a couple of weeks before you two become a couple. jungwon maintains that you two were already together and simply keeping it a secret from everyone.

regardless, their hushed conversation is finally put to an end when just moments after heeseung finishes up, the doorbell rings.

it’s jake, the last person to arrive.

just as you’re about to look towards the door and greet the boy, sunghoon grasps your hand and the contact jolts you to your core. your attention, never having quite left, whips back to him. 

just as quick he whips his hand back, looking a little bashful, “sorry, i just forgot to say something.”

you raise an eyebrow, as if to say, “well?”

sunghoon averts his gaze and clears his throat a bit, “uh just… stick by me so you don’t get lost!”

…he does know the festival is taking place on the fields and lots that decelis owns, right? you nod in amusement, acquiescing easily. whatever sunghoon wants, sunghoon gets.

satisfied, sunghoon finally lets your attention turn to jake. 

you grin teasingly at the boy, complimenting his style.

“of course! i’m a model,” he chimes with a wink. 

it’s perhaps fortunate you don’t see the petulant frown and huff sunghoon lets out at that. so? he used to be an ice skater. po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe.

he does however let jake remain on your other side as the seven of you travel from jungwon’s house to the academy. finally, after a few months of unpaid labour, you’re set to enjoy the results.

it’s extremely fortunate the duty you had been assigned, promotion, is a job not set to continue during the event. otherwise you would have been stuck communicating with vendors, emergency services, and ensuring everything’s running smoothly all day.

you chew your lips, hit by an extreme wave of anxiety as you remember the ultimatum. before you fall deeper in the spiral though, sunghoon’s voice resonates in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“where do you wanna check out first?”

you hum, “not sure, but aren’t we travelling as a group?” 

sunghoon just gives you a mischievous grin and shrug in return. as if to tell you whatever the two of you do is your choice. you consider the options. sure, you like the lively atmosphere of hanging out as a group, but you don’t know if you can keep yourself from fraying at the seams around this many people.

especially jake, who knows exactly what the issue is, and sunoo who has an inkling that something is up with you. you purse your lips, before nodding at sunghoon. and you know you’ve made the right choice when his eyes light up and he practically grows an inch in stature.

sunghoon announces, “me and y/n are going to check out the petting zoo, let’s all meet up again at like 9 in time for the fireworks.”

“oh, cool i also want to–” heeseung starts to invite himself obliviously, but ni-ki slaps a hand over his mouth.

“okay! you two have fun!” he exclaims, eager to move the two of you along and possibly win the bet.

you shake your head in amusement, hearing heeseung whining to the others about not being able to see the goats. it seems someone’s appeased him, because he quiets down even before you’ve exited earshot.

the walk to the pens where they’ve kept the animals is quiet. you of course, have bigger things on your mind, but you can’t place why sunghoon also seems anxious.

you have a great time at the petting zoo, laughing as sunghoon compares each of the animals to one of your mutual friends. and maybe heeseung was onto something when he was eager to visit, that deer had to be a relative of his.

you take a bunch of photos, sunghoon offering to take some of you with the animals, but you decline in favour of taking selfies that included him instead.

and sue him if the most uncharacteristic over-the-moon, lovesick gaze is present in his eyes for each one. he’s surprised you don’t comment when in one of them you’re smiling at the camera and his eyes are just on you.

but alas, their fun is cut short when an alpaca licks the bare landscape of his arm. he yelps (no, park sunghoon did not shriek and he is ready to fight anyone that maintains this false fact) in surprise, immediately shooting almost two feet away from the pen.

you burst into laughter, stomach clenching in pain at the force of the peals of joy bursting out of you. and while sunghoon isn’t happy that that thing put its tongue on him, there’s nothing that he likes more than seeing you happy.

so he just sighs in exasperation, grabbing your hand to drag you over to a water fountain that he could use to clean himself. you finally calm down as he’s cupping the water and rubbing his arm with it.

you pause solemnly, and sunghoon almost thinks you’re going to say something serious, but then you open your mouth.

“do you think you were tasty,” you ask with a twinkle in your eyes.

sunghoon’s jaw drops slightly, before he pouts, “oh, fuck off.”

you just laugh again, mood lifted as your eyes fall onto another stall.

“sunghoon,” you gasp.

he hums in acknowledgement, following your gaze, but not knowing what you’re referring to. it’s one of those pools with water, containing little goldfish.

you jump in excitement, “please, let’s go.”

and of course, where you go he follows. 

the lady running the stall is amused to see a seeming young couple come up to the stall, the situation being apparent from a glance as you’re practically vibrating with excitement and he eyes the fish apprehensively.

to your utter dismay, all of your attempts at scooping a goldfish end up in failure. you’re just about ready to give up, but sunghoon’s hand appears in your vision, seemingly requesting the scoop. he absolutely doesn’t want you to be upset. not when he could tell there was already something bothering you this whole time.

lo and behold, sunghoon captures a sizable specimen in record time. you cheer in excitement, eager to grab the fish and take it home when you realize.

if you aren’t here after today, who would care for it? who would give it food and make sure the tank is clean?

you frown, nervous, “uh… actually,” you’re almost too embarrassed to say the next part, but you mumble it out, “i can’t keep it.”

sunghoon examines you quietly, bewildered. just a second ago you were ecstatic at the thought of keeping one and now it looked as though the life had drained out of you. he doesn’t know what’s going on with you, but what he does know is you’d want this fish when you’re out of whatever funk you’re trapped in.

he nods at the stall owner, insisting he wants it instead. she just smiles, thinking something along the lines of, ‘ah, young love.’

she puts the fish into a clear bag and filled some of the water into it for the fish, sending the pair off with some brief care instructions.

a sort of giddy feeling fills sunghoon as he looks at the fish, blank-eyed as it is. it’s something that connects the two of you. something like an inside joke or whatever.

he puts the fish into his fanny pack– yes, it is fashionable thank you– which he knew would come into use.

he’s immensely satisfied, but that’s besides the point. the point is that it is sunghoon’s (self-appointed) duty to cheer you up.

and so he does, maybe even acting less like his unbothered, nonchalant self. the two of you explore the rest of the festival, including visiting hand-crafted goods stalls (sunghoon buys you a jade bracelet; you valiantly hold back from trying to decipher if there has some sort of hidden meaning), playing rigged carny games, and pigging out at all the street food stands.

finally, there are around twenty minutes until the fireworks show. you and sunghoon have been skirting the perimeter of the festival, aware that no stalls or booths are set up there, but wanting to walk off your overeating. 

just as you’ve messaged the group, wondering where they are so you can all watch the fireworks that are set to start together, you receive a text back in a separate chat at almost light speed. it’s sunoo.

seonflower: dont worry about getting back to the group to watch fireworks

seonflower: have your little tryst with sunghoon ദ്ദി ( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ )

seonflower: we can all watch fireworks together some other time

you bite your lips. you won’t have any other time. but before you can refute sunoo and insist, you feel a hand grasping yours.

sunghoon avoids your eyes as he speaks, “why don’t we just watch the fireworks here, together?”

he gestures with his head at the clear view of the buildings and sky you have, majorly devoid of trees, “as long as they’re normal size, we’ll be able to see them. and decelis has a pretty big property, so it shouldn’t bother the residents.”

the end of his sentence trails off, as if he’s unsure of suggesting it himself, and yet his eyes are resolute. and well, how could you say no to a face like that?

you smile, “sure.”

to his credit, sunghoon does remember that you guys should tell the rest of the group you’re not coming, but you let him know sunoo already suggested the same as him.

“oh,” sunghoon comments, both intrigued and amused.

you settle on the grass, facing the direction of where they were set to be launched from. still attached to your hand, sunghoon follows suit in amusement.

when you’re seated, you shrug off your cardigan, and at sunghoon’s inquisitive gaze, defend yourself.

“in case i need a pillow! i can’t get my hair dirty…” you’re of course talking about the fact that it might be better to view said fireworks laying down, but for now both of you sit in the grass with no distinction in your personal space.

you’re not cold, but goosebumps scatter your skin as you can feel the heat emanating from sunghoon’s body. any closer and you two would be touching. when your gaze follows up to sunghoon’s face, he’s already staring at you.

and woah, that is really close. 

time seems to pass through molasses around the two of you, the only thing you can focus on is the eternities held in sunghoon’s eyes. is it normal to be able see this much detail?

just when you’re wondering if you’re too close, sunghoon leans in closer. your heartbeat seems to rocket up, practically highway speeds at this point. you swallow, were you about to kiss?

(what did your breath smell like again?! hopefully not the gamja hot dog you guys had devoured last…)

your mind flutters between, ‘he’s totally gonna kiss me,’ and ‘no, there’s probably a different reason for why he’s so damn close!’

sunghoon’s eyes flicker down into your lips, and all doubts get erased. shit.

“i like you,” sunghoon whispers out.

and with your proximity it’s almost as if he’s breathed the words themselves into your lips.

your stomach switches from doing backflips at his proximity to a whole gymnastic routine at his words. it makes your heart race, but at the same time, you love it. god, sunghoon has just confessed… confessed!

you respond quietly, “i like you too.”

you don’t know who bridges that final gap, but it doesn’t matter. not when everything feels so new, so special as you lean in to him. one of sunghoon’s hands comes to settle at your waist.

fireworks go off outside in tandem with the sparks of joy igniting in your brain. the two of you pull back to examine the show, before deciding 'fuck it, they’re just fireworks,' and reconnecting.

you resist the urge to smile in the kiss, but it seems sunghoon’s unable to do so.

you pull back slightly to lightly smack him, “hey, stop that!”

the smile you receive in response is one of the most vulnerable, raw expressions you’ve seen on sunghoon.

“i’m just really happy,” he grins, leaning his forehead forward to rest on yours.

the two of you decide that okay, maybe the fireworks are actually worth watching, considering the hours you’ve wasted away at getting this festival to work.

they’re beautiful, each bang an explosion of life and colour melting into the night sky. if happiness is tangibly procurable, it would be stored away in this moment. hiding away from prying eyes and kissing your worries away.

just when you two are about to go in for what is probably round ten or higher, your phone interrupts you. your real phone. jake’s contact lights up on the screen, bringing immediate displeasure to sunghoon’s face.

you consider declining the call in favour of kissing sunghoon, but something in your gut tells you this call is important.

so you stand up, explaining that you’ll quickly take this, before giving sunghoon a quick peck and darting away before he can do anything.

you move a couple metres away, on the chance that this call was something personal private.

“y/n,” jake frantically breathes as soon as he realizes you’ve picked up his call.

you respond with a mildly confused, “what’s up?” at the urgency.

“when you said you have until tomorrow,” he rushes, “did that mean the end of today the end of tomorrow?”

“i don’t know, i’m not sure,” you reply, but you continue before jake can panic even more at the current time.

“but. it’s okay,” even from the other end of the line he can hear the smile in your voice, “i’m with sunghoon and…” you trail off, realizing you two hadn’t made sort of a commitment, but jake gets the gist anyways.

“oh,” jake breaths, “that’s great.”

and it’s all he can do to hope you don’t hear the disappointment in his voice.

sunghoon’s giddy even as you get up to take jake’s call. he can’t believe this is happening. that someone like him, is getting a real shot of happiness.

your bright smile and soft laughter flashes in his head and he resolves that he’s not leaving you at your house until he gets at least a dozen more kisses. 

sunghoon thinks he might be addicted.

his attention gets captured by a phone chime coming from underneath the cardigan you left behind. he’s immensely confused because hello his phone is in his pocket, and you’re using your phone to talk to jake.

bewildered, he moves the fabric aside. lying there on the grass is a pink flip phone.

now sunghoon is not one to pry, had he known it’s ‘yours’ he would have left it alone on the grass and maybe commented on the peculiarity of having two phones, especially when one of them is an old fashioned flip phone.

(“are you secretly a mafia don,” sunghoon would tease.)

but that was if he had known it’s yours. for now, sunghoon is merely curious about the cell phone that apparently neither of you have noticed until now, oddly enough.

he picks it up and flicks it open.

the sight greeting sunghoon makes his blood run cold.

unknown number: congrats y/n you did it!

unknown number: getting two guys to fall for you, who would have thought?

it can’t be. his sweet, kind y/n? it can’t be.

you’d never do this to him. you’d never manipulate him to use him for your own gain… would you?

he can’t find a discernible reason for your kindness which had led him to believe you were genuine, but what if that isn’t the case at all? what if he was the target all along?

his breathing quickens, ramping up in a way it had only once before. briefly, a torrid memory flashes in his mind— the headline ‘YOUTH ICE SKATER PARK SUNGHOON HYPERVENTILATES AFTER MASSIVE FAILURE’--- and he knows he needs to calm down before it gets any worse.

sunghoon tries to call back into all of the techniques his coach had hammered into him– shove his emotions away, bottle them up so they can’t bother and affect him.

his next words come out cold and foreign, even to his own ears.

“y/n?” sunghoon calls loudly, phone call be damned.

you pause, noting the distinct chill present even in that one word. a sense of foreboding nips at your nape.

“come here,” he forces out, “i need to ask you something.”

on any other occasion you would ask him to wait until after you finish the call with jake, but he sounds so utterly serious.

you mutter a quick, “gotta go,” before blindly pressing at the screen and lowering the hand with the phone.

when you’re close enough to notice the pink phone in sunghoon’s hand, the high feeling you’ve been engulfed by after the confession comes crashing down around you.

“what’s this,” he asks after you’re right in front of him. and he’s asking, but he’s not really asking.

you’re not an idiot, you can see the turbulent emotions swarming behind his eyes even as he forces them out of his voice. hurt, confusion, frustration, anger, betrayal.

“sunghoon, wait,” you inhale sharply, not even knowing what he’s seen, but knowing it’s probably bad, “i can explain.”

“do tell,” sunghoon’s voice finally lets some emotion in, but it’s anger, “tell me how you can explain why you have a second phone where you’re getting texts like this?”

he pushes the open phone into your space, and if you thought you were in deep shit before, it gets so much worse as you realize exactly what he’s read. how were you going to explain this? the only answer is, of course, the truth.

your voice trembles as you try and defend yourself, “i– i need you trust me sunghoon, just listen.”

sunghoon shakes his head, “tell me these aren’t real, y/n, tell me that these are some twisted prank from a friend, please. that’s all you need to do, please just tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”

“it isn’t what it looks like,” you swallow, continuing quieter, “but those are real.”

“bullshit,” sunghoon exclaims, and you can’t help but jolt. it’s the first time you’ve seen him lose his composure like this.

“either this is fake or,” and now he can’t even look at you, voice breaking just a bit, “or. everything else was.”

you frantically shake your head, wanting to hold his hands, but having the feeling that invading his personal space would be even worse.

“no, it was all real, i like you sunghoon, more than i’ve ever liked anyone before.”

“how can i trust you?” sunghoon pleads, your heart splintering at the waver wracking his voice.

before you can try and plead with him to sit down and hear you out on what all this is, sunghoon freezes in place.

“wait,” he says slowly, almost in disbelief, “it said two, what did it mean two?”

you hesitate, trying to find a way to explain before he takes it the wrong way. you open your mouth, but sunghoon beats you to the punch.

“the other guy. is it jake?” his eyes are desperate, begging you to do anything but say yes.

and it’s impossible. being entirely honest might cause sunghoon to blow up here, but lying? maybe you could get him to calm down with that, and yet it seemed irreversible, a shattered trust you wouldn’t be able to get back in your relationship again. even though right now it doesn’t seem so different.

“yes,” you breathe out, ashamed.

a sense of regret fills you as his composure crumbles, and deep down you know why. deep down, to sunghoon, jake is everything he’s not.

“yes, but it’s different, i had to, just–” and you cringe even as you speak, because that really doesn’t come across well. but your mind is racing, thoughts fleeting away before you can hope to grasp them.

sunghoon interrupts you, “y/n. please. just, just stop.”

it takes a herculean amount of effort to hold yourself back from bursting into tears.

“i– please, i.” you don’t know what to say, how to stop him.

sunghoon shakes his head, stepping closer to you, but only to press the phone into your empty hand.

“i never want to see you again.” 

he bites the sentence out, tone more despondent than resentful.

before you can utter a word, he walks not in the direction of the festival, but away from decelis.

and you remain, a phone in each hand and tears finally falling.

you're still frozen in place when you feel your phone buzz. not the piece of shit that caused this whole mess, but your personal cell phone.

morosely, you lift it to check, hoping it’s sunghoon who’s miraculously changed his mind.

it’s not. it’s from jake.

b2b mathlete f2b model: you never cut the phone

b2b mathlete f2b model: where are you

you look around and send a message back, vision blurry. jake responds within the minute.

b2b mathlete f2b model: stay there. i’m coming right now

you let out a bitter laugh. it’s not like you had the energy to move anyway. 

eventually jake arrives, panting and sweaty.

he sits down, trying to regain his breath, and gesturing for you to sit down beside him as well. you comply, feeling as though the world’s moving in slow motion as you settle both phones on the ground in between you.

“i,” jake pauses, swallowing awkwardly, “i heard everything.”

you honestly have no idea what to say, “i had it coming, to be honest.”

“well, no,” jake frowns, “it’s not like you actually did what sunghoon thinks you did.”

“still,” you mutter, “i… i deserve it, don’t i?”

“hey,” he snaps a finger in your face, “no pity party. maybe you didn’t handle the situation the best way, but there’s no going back.”

he makes sure he has the entirety of your attention as he continues, “you have to fix this.”

you shake your head, “what’s the point?”

“what do you mean, what’s the point?!” he exclaims, and you’re surprised by the rush of emotion in his voice.

“you like each other so much, anyone with a working set of eyes can see it. tell me honestly you’re alright with sunghoon hating you. that you can deal with walking through the halls and pretending you don’t know him when you see him.”

you pout, not entirely convinced.

“and,” jake barrels on, “what if that person, or thing, on the phone decides they don’t like this outcome? that if you’re not with him they want to kill you anyways?”

you sigh, slowly but surely convinced as he continues talking and explaining why fixing your relationship with sunghoon was something you had to do.

several minutes later, you nod with resolution, “you’re right, i have to fix this.”

and then you get up, picking up your phone considering it would be essential in finding the boy.

jake splutters, “wait, now?!”

“well of course,” you reply, “i have to fix this right away.”

“alright,” jake sighs as you’re already walking away.

he notices you’ve left the flip phone and picks it up, about to let you know, but then he stops himself. considering everything that happened, there’s no way you’d want it right now. and with both everything you’ve told him and what he experienced, it would find its way back to you on its own sure enough.

but. jake is a bit curious, he doesn’t know what you had been messaged that caused sunghoon to freak out like that and he wouldn’t check.

but he wanted to see something. jake opens the camera app and aims it at your back before you can get too far away to be in the shot.

he lets out a sad smile at the label the phone attaches to you.

2/2

jake puts the phone back down. it isn’t like he had expected something different, someone like him isn’t made to be loved.

you glance down at your phone, shivering a bit as the night chill begins to set in on your journey to sunghoon.

you’re immensely relieved, as you had been unsure how to find the boy until you remembered you had made the boy share his location once when he was running late to a hangout.

hoping to all hell the boy hasn’t realized that unsharing his location is possible, you open sunghoon’s contact desperately.

the fact that sunghoon hasn’t blocked you is a small mercy. he’s probably too distraught and upset to realize right now.

after what feels like an eternity, you’re here. at the park where you’ve made so many memories.

there sunghoon is, sitting at the bottom of the slides. your heart clenches painfully when you notice his eyes are red. has sunghoon been crying because of you?

“sunghoon,” you start hesitantly.

immediately, his head whips up in your direction. but his eyes are no longer hurt. instead, they hold anger and frustration.

“how, no, why are you here? i told you to leave me alone.”

you try to swallow the lump in your throat, “i need you to listen, i need to explain.”

he glares, brows furrowed.

“i don’t owe you anything, i don’t care what your explanation is. nothing can justify playing with not only my, but jake’s feelings.”

your heart warms at how protective sunghoon’s grown over everyone. you just wish it wasn’t at your expense.

you try to move closer, but stop in place when sunghoon’s frown grows deeper.

“yes, that’s unjustifiable,” you agree, “but that’s not what happened, i promise.”

you can see sunghoon clench his fists. whether it’s in anger, confusion, sorrow, you can’t tell.

sunghoon frowns, “stop trying to mess with my head.”

your jaw drops, yes this is a really bad look for you, but surely sunghoon knows your character by now? surely…

your eyes waver in hesitation.

“it’s not like that, i’ve never had anything but honest intentions, what you saw was someone blackmailing me. i’ll tell you everything, just please listen.”

even as you speak you can tell it’s falling on deaf ears. you’re not sure if anything registered to the boy, who just burns his fiery gaze into you.

“i meant what i said, i don’t want to see you, i don’t want to hear you, i don’t ever want to think of you again.”

‘you’ve broken me.’

you stare at the boy, at a loss. it’s clear there’s no way to resolve this. at least, not right now.

it’s been a few days since the festival, and yet it doesn’t hurt any less. any time sunghoon’s mind drifts back to those texts he read, the thought that they’re real, it’s like his heart is breaking all over again.

he just wishes it wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. that he feels nothing everytime your name pops up on his phone screen. that he has the strength to block you, or even change your contact name.

another message buzzes sunghoon’s phone. he doesn’t look at it now, recalling all of your last texts.

he would begin to waver, feel unsure, that maybe he should hear you out. but then he would feel angry that you had affected him so much he couldn’t even stay firm on this one thing. you had ruined him. he thinks of your previous messages, trying to train himself to only summon rage instead of raw ache.

miss sunshine: hey i didn’t say sorry originally because it felt like agreeing that i played you but there is something i should be sorry for

miss sunshine: i never wanted to hurt your feelings

miss sunshine: i dont want to talk about it over text, but i really do have an explanation

miss sunshine: i miss you, i really like you sunghoon

miss sunshine: please hear me out

the contact name had initially been a sarcastic comment on the fact that you were always happy and pleasant. he should have known, even then, that you were going to shake his world considering you were the only person bestowed with a contact name that isn’t their government name.

eventually, the name had shifted meanings from being snide to genuine. you were his sunshine. when sunghoon came to school gloomy, a smile flashed his way was all it took to lighten the day up.

his eyes widen when he notices the most recent text is an extremely long paragraph. he doesn’t know what possesses him, but sunghoon finally finds the strength he’s been lacking. he sends out a short message, cutting contact.

sunghoon tosses his phone on his rug somewhere, lying back down into his bed, exhausted. he rests an arm over his eyes, trying to hold back all the emotions rushing up.

crying about it once is embarrassing, but understandable in a sense. crying about it again days later? he doesn’t want to be that weak.

‘you got played. get over it. what else did you expect?’

sunghoon had known it, knew there was no way someone could be this kind, this perfect. he’s the moron, the absolute imbecile that let his walls down for you only to be shown yet again why he had put them up in the first place.

the door to his bedroom whips open, and he flinches. not even a knock as warning, but really what should he expect from his dad? the man looks at his son, lying on the bed, listless and morose. he looks unimpressed.

“there’s someone at the door for you,” the man says gruffly.

sunghoon wants to scream. it isn’t enough to message him constantly, follow him to the park, you have to come to his home too? he doesn’t even want to know how you got his address. probably from a creepy ex-fan, no doubt.

“send them away,” sunghoon mumbles before turning over in the bed, his back facing the door.

he can feel his dad’s disapproving glare from metres away.

“stop being childish sunghoon,” his dad reprimands, “he’s been waiting a while for you. don’t be rude.”

he? sunghoon sits up in intrigue. maybe it’s one of his friends here to drop off notes, considering he’s been staying home from school based on the possibility that he’d run into you.

he’d rather endure the scolding and complaints from his parents every time he wastes a day staying at home. 

sunghoon sighs, not entirely keen on meeting whoever it is considering he knew everyone through you. but it isn’t like they had broken his heart and played him for a fool.

of all the people sunghoon had expected to see at the door, it certainly hadn’t been sim jaeyun.

“what’s up,” he nods unenthusiastically as he lets the boy inside. he leads jake to the couch to sit down. the model doesn’t seem to have anything on him, which is intriguing considering it means he’s most likely here just to talk.

he freezes when he remembers you’ve been playing jake too. this isn’t cool, he has to let jake know.

before he can attempt to put it into words, jake speaks instead.

his voice is calm, measured.

“i know why you and y/n haven’t been talking.”

nine words, that’s all he says. and yet sunghoon is flabbergasted. jake knows and yet he doesn’t look so upset? he thinks you’re even still friends considering he saw the two of you sitting together in jungwon’s instagram story.

what’s going on?

he frowns, “yes... what about it?”

jake looks into sunghoon’s eyes, trying to convey his seriousness, “i think you should hear her out.”

immediately, his guard is up. you’ve gotten into the boy’s head already.

sunghoon rolls his eyes, “i’m not interested in anything she has to say.”

jake bites his lips, he had been the one to encourage you to make things up to sunghoon at the cost of you being increasingly miserable over the next few days. sure, you would have been upset without his intervention as well, but he couldn’t help but feel responsible for the gloom following you everywhere recently.

sunghoon for his part is praying jake buys the nonchalant facade and leaves. he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and leave himself bare for the world to see. he was sick of being sensitive.

jake seems to be trying to find the words to convince him, “i promise you she has a good reason, just trust the person you’ve known.”

sunghoon shook his head, “do i know her though? she was hiding this much from me, how can i trust anything else she has to say?”

he continues, “i’m just fucking tired of this. i’m tired of keeping myself strong and perfect, only for people to attack like vultures the second i show a shred of vulnerability.”

jakes eyes soften, recognizing the pain in sunghoon’s voice as someone who is also highly visible in the public eye.

“this doesn’t seem to be about just y/n,” he comments gently.

“of course it’s not. it’s about the fact that no one, no one is in my corner. i can’t trust anyone. not even my own heart when it’s saying there’s no way y/n would do this to me when the evidence was right there in front of my eyes.”

jake pokes a finger into sunghoon’s chest, “if your heart is telling you there’s no way she would do this, maybe you should listen to it.”

“jake–” sunghoon starts speaking, exasperated.

“no,” jake interrupts, “i don’t care, because honestly man i get being scared. but think about this, when has she been anything but genuine to you? this girl’s never shown you anything to doubt her, and this is how you react? honestly, if something like a couple text messages is enough to shake you up, you didn’t deserve to date her in the first place. that girl doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

sunghoon hesitates, “you didn’t see them, you don’t know what i read.”

“no,” he shakes his head, “i didn’t, but i sure as hell know she deserves to be at least heard out. you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to hear her out and decide if her explanation is bullcrap or not.”

“but i–”

“if your next words are anything except ‘yes jake, i understand!’ i don’t want to hear them,” jake says, his expression clear that he means it.

sunghoon goes quiet. he doesn’t know what to think.

jake’s tone is back to being gentle again, “look, i don’t want to explain in her place, but i’ll just say this. this whole issue is so serious that y/n could have died the day of the festival, and the only reason she didn’t was your confession.”

sunghoon freezes, hands shaking, “what?”

his mind immediately flashes through everyone before considering a bloodchilling possibility. were you planning on—

jake realizes and shakes him out of it, “no, not that. well, not entirely.”

he gets up to leave, “anyways, it’s up to you. but know this, if you don’t hear her out now, you might not regret it tomorrow. you might not even regret it a year from now. but somewhere in you will always remain the doubt that you might have been mistaken, and it’ll fucking tear you apart sunghoon.”

“if for no one else,” jake says with finality, out the door at this point, “do it for your own peace of mind. either you were right and you can begin to move on from her, or you weren’t in which case, you were kind of an ass, weren’t you?”

sunghoon leans back against the door after closing it, sliding down with his head between his knees. should he listen to what jake said?

should he just let you come to him once more and finally accept this time? he flinches when he remembers what he did before jake arrived. 

miss sunshine: i’ll leave you alone after this message if you want, i promise.

miss sunshine: i don’t know if i’ll ever get to explain to you in person. but i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i never tried explaining at all. this is going to sound very unbelievable but i’m going to say it anyway. after i transferred to decelis, i kept seeing this pink flip phone everywhere i went. i would get threatening messages at first from this person who knew an uncomfortable amount about me. they said that everyone had a set amount of people that would love them, and since i had no one that would love me i was an error, and that if i wanted to live i had to manipulate someone who had never loved anyone before (you or jake) into loving me. but i didn’t want to that, i never did that! i was ready to die that day with the festival just so i wouldn't hurt you. but then you confessed, and my feelings for you are real! so of course i responded and kissed you as well. i like you.

you: I’m not reading that

and then he had blocked you. he still hasn’t read it. he had only read the first message where you’d leave him alone after that message. and so he hadn’t felt a need to read it. after hearing everything from jake, he’s tempted to read it now, but it doesn’t feel right.

he needs to speak to you in person. he needs to know it’s all real, needs to hear it from your lips.

the next day, sunghoon finally goes to school. he didn’t know if he should go to class initially, unsure if he’d be able to face you. but he did, because despite all of the torrent of hurt, he’s missed you. desperately, miserably.

he curses the fact that his desk is in a row ahead of yours, robbing him of the opportunity to relearn all the facets of your face. when the lunch break arrives, finally, he turns only to find your seat empty.

he holds back the hurt rising, trying to remind himself it’s only because he had been the one to tell you he had never wanted to see you again.

sunghoon rushes out immediately, but you’re not in the hallway. or any subsequent hallways. he opens every storage room he walks past, startled to see the whole friend group without you in one of them. just… chilling? why do you all have the habit of doing that anyways?

they’re all beyond surprised to see him. well, everyone except for jake.

heeseung speaks first, “hey sunghoon, do you feel better now?”

ah, right. he had told all of them that he was staying home because he felt sick. although they know the story is likely something else, considering the absolute gloom you’ve been radiating these past few days, they know better than to pry.

“uh, yeah,” sunghoon mumbles awkwardly, “do you know where y/n is, by the way?”

they all exchange a glance, relieved and hopeful they’d get the bubbly you back. jake’s expression and warm smile shows that he’s also proud of sunghoon, though.

this time it’s sunoo who answers, “no, sorry, we haven’t seen her at all today.”

sunghoon doesn’t wait to hear any other comments before leaving, dead-set on finding you before the lunch period ended.

he searches through practically every corner of decelis to no avail. he’s starting to believe that you had gone home right after realizing he had come to school that day.

almost out of hope, he opens the door to an unused (practically abandoned) stairwell and freezes at the sound of crying.

it’s you. from this angle, you can’t see him, but it’s not like you’d be able to anyways with the sobs wracking your body.

and if sunghoon hadn’t been sure he wanted to talk it out before, he sure as hell knew he had to now. fuck, he’s the one who was making you cry like that?

he panics, not taking a moment to consider what the best approach would be before he’s right in front of you.

startled at the slap of rapid footsteps, you look up, and flinch when you realize it’s sunghoon.

you stammer, “i– sorry, i. i’ll go,” and hiccup, “sorry.”

he grabs your hand frantically, “wait, no!”

sunghoon clears his throat nervously, “i.. messed up. i should have heard you out. but let’s talk now.”

if he didn’t feel bad before, his heart clenches at the hope that immediately floods your eyes. sunghoon has the nagging feeling that he’ll feel like a piece of crap by the time you’re done explaining.

and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, that’s exactly what happens. 

you start from the beginning, explaining everything that’s happened with the stupid flip phone until now. you start with that day that you had seen it on the street and it had known your name despite it not being discernable to strangers. and then, even after you smashed it to pieces it reappeared. it snuck into your backpack and no matter where you left the thing, it would find its way back to you. even now, you have it, despite seemingly having fulfilled the phone’s threat to you. you speak quickly and nervously, pulling the phone out to show him his and your love counts as proof.

his eyes widen at the astonishing number attached to himself, especially when yours is strikingly low in comparison. it makes sense when he remembers he used to be known very well, but it still makes him quite uncomfortable. how the hell can they have loved him when they didn’t even know him?

“two...” he mumbles, “the other is—”

you interrupt, feeling a little awkward, “yes.”

you wring your wrists, nervous, “i know it’s hard to believe, but–”

“i believe you,” sunghoon shakes his head immediately, “of course i do.”

and now it all comes rushing. all he said, all he did. sunghoon is beyond mortified. how could he behave that way? without even hearing you out? jake is entirely right.

“i’m so, so sorry,” sunghoon insists, eyes wet.

you smile sadly, “it’s okay, i understand.”

“no,” he vehemently denies, “my personal issues don’t make it okay to treat you like that.”

“actually i,” sunghoon hesitates, “i used to be a youth ice skater.”

before he can get further, you rush to reply, “hey, no, you don’t have to speak and open up just because i did.”

“but i want to. i think you deserve to know.”

you nod, pulling him to sit down on a step and following suit.

the boy continues, and when his voice wavers, you grasp one of his hands in yours.

“i used to be really well known, and because it was competitive, the pressure was unbelievable.”

he inhales, “my parents were elated that i was bringing them such pride like this. girls would stop me in the halls to confess. except it was all fake. the moment the pressure became too much and i–. and i broke down in the middle of one of my performances, i lost everyone’s support. some eagerly awaited for my return, but when i realized that i hadn’t been happy while skating for a while, that it was taking pieces of me away, i said i was retiring. of course, they stopped being sympathetic as well.”

“it,” he averts his eyes, “was even worse here because the performance was something the school had asked me to do to represent them as an opener for a winter event with other schools. i disappointed everyone.”

“well they should have never equated your worth with ice skating anyways,” you snark.

his eyes widen, the animosity present in your face a rare sight. his heart flutters, and yet again sunghoon’s heart clenches at the thought of being the reason for your miserable cries earlier.

he pulls you in closer by the shoulder.

“i am so, so sorry, and i will spend however long it takes making it up to you.”

“hey,” you poke his chest, “we’re talking about you right now.”

sunghoon smiles, nuzzling his head into your shoulder, “no need, just getting all of that off my chest was enough.”

he remembers something, asking curiously, “jake said that you could have died. why?”

“oh,” you stiffen, “the phone gave me an ultimatum of getting someone to increase my love count by the day after the festival, or it would kill me.”

sunghoon thinks as to why that rubs him the wrong way. and it clicks.

“that night,” he says into the air, only continuing when you hum in acknowledgement, “i was the one who confessed to you.”

you speak quietly, “yes.”

“were you,” sunghoon’s voice shudders, “were you going to let yourself die?”

he’s pulled back to examine your face as he speaks.

you give him a sad smile, “yes.”

immediately, sunghoon’s face crumples. he breaks down, wrapping his arms fully around you and pulling you in to shove his face into your sternum.

“i’m sorry,” he sobs as he speaks, “i’m so sorry.”

he keeps mumbling sorry into you, only stopping after several minutes of you soothing his hair.

you pull him back a bit to kiss his forehead, “i forgive you, my sweet sunghoon.”

“you know,” he sniffles, “i took that goldfish home and have been keeping it alive.”

“yeah?” you ask with a chuckle, eyes full of life. sunghoon’s yet again blown away.

he nods with such force that it reminds you of a young child, “it reminded me of you.”

you pull him in to give him a kiss. it feels like returning home after a harrowing voyage with numerous casualties.

it feels like falling in love.

“hey,” a first year whispers, leaning into her friend, “did you hear that park sunghoon and y/n l/n from second year are dating?”

“what,” she exclaims in shock, “but they’re so different?”

“are they?” the first one giggles, “they’re both quiet and… unpopular.”

the second one shakes her head vehemently, “y/n distracted my teacher so she wouldn’t notice that i was entering the class late once, she’s super nice. meanwhile once sunghoon bumped into me, and he glared at me. can you believe that?”

“so what you’re saying is she’s actually too good for him? for real?”

the other shrugs, “mm, who knows! i just mean y/n isn’t… like him. i wanted to make friends with her, but it’s so intimidating!”

the first girl nods, sighing in wonder, “ah, she’s so pretty. no wonder she’s friends with sim jaeyun.”

“she’s what?!” the response is a shriek.

“of course, you didn’t know?”

“no,” she sulks, “okay, maybe now i’m a little jealous.”

the first snickers, “as if you’d have a chance anyways.”

she gets a flick in the forehead in reprimand.

the flip phone has stayed silent for days, to the point where you thought it had basically become a normal phone at this point.

so you gasp in surprise and hit sunghoon’s arm repeatedly when it chimes on your writing desk. he wrinkles his nose, muttering “ow” as he pauses the episode of the drama you two are watching.

he raises a brow, but follows your gaze, also gasping.

you whisper to him, almost fearing the phone would hear you.

“what do you think it’s saying?”

sunghoon rubs your hand, trying to show you he’s fully in support.

“i don’t know,” he murmurs, “but maybe you shouldn’t open it.”

considering that thing had threatened to kill you. but you, of course, hold no such qualms.

“i think i’m gonna look,” you smile, “i’m not scared of it anymore. that much.”

“okay,” sunghoon pouts, getting up to retrieve the phone for you before you can move an inch, “but you open it with me.”

“of course,” you laugh.

unknown number: Hello, apologies for the inconvenience you’ve been put through. This was an error, it wasn’t supposed to happen.

you raise your eyebrows. that’s all well and good, but why? you also feel like the tone is off. this either isn’t the same person or something else is going on.

unknown number: The error was not with your love count, but the display. It had erroneously been set to 0. We hope you will keep this confidential of course.

there’s an undercurrent of threat to this one as well. you and sunghoon exchange a glance, bewildered.

suddenly another text flashes in.

unknown number: NO it’s not over until she updates unlucky girl syndrome

unknown number: Don’t be childish. I thought your authority had been revoked, J?

you raise your eyebrows, beyond confused.

“hey,” sunghooon starts, “doesn’t it kind of sound like–”

“two different people,” you agree. and then you ponder the words further, gasping when you remember something.

“sunghoon. that’s the title of this romance story i was posting,” you mumble.

he’s incredibly intrigued and begs for you to show it to him. of course, the first thing that pops up is your hiatus announcement that you read together and it starts to click.

“no fucking way,” sunghoon gasps, “did they do this all because you said you needed to experience love first?”

“i don’t know,” you start laughing, “but that’s hilarious.”

“no it’s not! you almost died!” he exclaims.

“maybe, but if this is true, i think it was all fluff. they’d want me to be alive to post, no?”

sunghoon grumbles, setting the phone down who knows where as well as the laptop. then he rolls over and pulls you into his chest, cuddling you.

“whatever it is,” he breathes into your hair, “i’m glad you’re here with me right now.”

jake laughs loudly at heeseung and ni-ki’s antics. he hasn’t quite pieced the story of what’s happened between them yet, only arriving in time to see them bicker and chase each other.

jungwon giggles, filming the scene and sunoo alternates between cheering either of them on. usually the one that’s losing.

he feels so fulfilled that he doesn’t even find himself dreading the 3 hour shoot he has to go to later today. he loves his friends so much. he honestly can’t think of anything he would choose over this at the moment, even the chance at your heart.

because sunghoon is part of that friend group, and he finds himself genuinely caring for the boy and rooting for his happiness alongside yours. which is why he worked so hard at putting the two of you back together.

that doesn’t stop him from internally sighing as sunghoon walks to the hangout spot hand in hand with you yet again. 

thankfully he doesn’t have to express his disapproval, because the others boo.

“imagine showing up late,” sunoo snarks.

“yeah, yeah,” sunghoon laughs it off while ruffling the boy’s hair and dodging the fist that’s aimed at his arm next.

the two of you integrate into the discussion seamlessly, although it’s quite amusing to see sunghoon constantly stick to your side. he’s like one of those sticky burrs you pick up by mistake and then frantically shake your leg to get off.

he would roll his eyes at the clinginess, but knowing all it took to get here, jake just smiles. he feels an unexpected amount of happiness as he watches the two of you interact, noticing the wide smiles that can’t seem to leave sunghoon’s face nowadays.

the boy is so bright and happy, even as he maintains his quiet and dorky personality, that jake can’t help but curse out the society that had turned him into the jaded version of himself that he was before.

sunghoon hugs you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder as you chatter with sunoo and jungwon.

“ugh gross,” ni-ki exclaims, covering his eyes.

“sorry, sunghoon,” you announce dramatically, “we have to break up. it’s for ni-ki’s sake.”

you’re only joking, but you expect neither the reaction from sunghoon nor ni-ki. both are appalled.

sunghoon tightens his hold on you, “absolutely not.”

and ni-ki shrieks, “no way, then you’d make me a child of divorce!”

“divorce– wha–” you burst into laughter at the unexpected comment. you didn’t know when it had happened, but somewhere along the way the friend group had become incredibly invested in you and sunghoon’s relationship. you found it incredibly amusing.

jake examines the scene quietly. he doesn’t know if he loved you, if his feelings ever developed that far, but. he does know that this hurts. he feels a familiar ache.

he closes his eyes, reminiscing back to his first love, years ago. he just kept losing. jake doubted anything could come close, but damn. this didn’t work out either.

and he had truly liked you.

sunghoon looks at you, almost lovesick. he thinks back to that day, months ago, where you had left a breakfast on that kid’s desk and shakes his head in amusement.

the difference time can make is truly astonishing. love isn’t a ‘transaction’ or whatever bullshit ideology he had developed over the years. love is beautiful, something you give out every day without expecting anything in return. but love means that it will all come back.

that just as you brushed the hair out of someone’s face while they worked, they would rub your shoulders after you went through a particularly physically intensive day.

sunghoon has finally, after years and years of life, learned what love is. intense, pure, and absolute. and he falls further and further into it every day.

“what would you like to do today,” he speaks in a cutesy tone, making eye contact through the glass as he practically baby talks.

from your place on your bed, you roll your eyes, “oh my god, sunghoon, stop talking to mulgogi like he’s sentient.”

he shakes his head in mock disappointment, “i can’t believe you named our child ‘fish’.”

“sunghoon!” you exclaim, reprimanding him for calling it your child before deciding to just roll with it, “also, our child is a fish.”

“don’t listen to her,” he whispers into the bowl, “i know you’ll grow up to do great things.”

you throw a small cushion at him, laughing, but then shrieking when he manages to dodge it and the cushion almost falls into mulgogi’s bowl.

“maybe i should take him to my house,” he says solemnly, “this feels like a hostile environment.”

“i’ll have you know mulgogi’s getting the best treatment here. that motherfucker eats 24/7, he’s actually draining my pockets.”

sunghoon yelps, staring into mulgogi’s fish eyes, “hey, you’re a rockstar.” before placing his hands on the sides of the bowl as if to simulate covering a child’s ears.

he pouts, “how could you say that, you know he’s sensitive.”

“oh my gosh, you love that fish more than i do, and i’m the one that wanted to get him,” you laugh, eagerly welcoming sunghoon when he returns to sit on the bed with you.

“he reminds me of myself,” sunghoon comments with faux solemnity.

you splutter, “he’s a fish.”

sunghoon simply laughs and attacks you with a flurry of kisses all over your face. you shriek and pretend you’re making a valiant effort in defending yourself, but of course you’re content to let him do as he pleases.

park sunghoon, the boy who you used to piss off. the boy who you had been forced to collaborate with by your teacher. the boy who slowly warmed up to you the more time you spent together. the boy whose heart you broke as he broke yours. the boy who cried in your arms at the thought of you getting hurt. the boy who is the father of your (fish) child.

the boy who you are truly and unconditionally in love with.

AFTERWORD. if you've made it this far, big applause to you! thank you for taking the time to read this. while initially a celebration for 100 followers, i've since reached 240! which is pretty crazy to me haha. anyways, this is a part of a series, for which a part will be dedicated to each 02. there's actually foreshadowing (? not quite the right word) for the other two in here, so take that how you will. that's also why there's a number of loose threads left here (not related to sunghoon & y/n's relationship)... side note, i hope no one was disappointed that it pretty much only takes the premise and character settings from OTL and nothing else haha. i'm not gonna lie, i do not enjoy the webtoon's plot that much TT esp in later chapters... but anyway this did take a lot out of me so it's probably going to be a while before jay's part is published... i hope you still enjoy! and a reblog with your thoughts would be greatly appreciated

DEVIL'S KNIGHTS' PREY (series masterlist)

PREVIEW: Halloween is approaching the next night, and your best friends have been imploring you to join them since they have been invited to an exclusive event that is known as 'The Devils Night' that is hosted by the fraternity of devil's knights. You know of them, including their corrupted fraternity, and you know better than to involve yourself with them after hearing unpleasant things about them from your peers. In fact, from the day you stepped foot into the university, you had been warned to steer clear of any of the devil's knights members, especially four certain individuals, and so you successfully did throughout those years, until now, because the moment you stepped foot into their territory, you have long since caught the attention of the devil's knights leaders.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), semi-college au, adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.

WARNINGS: indicated on respective parts.

TAGLIST: close

RUBY'S NOTE: this fic is inspired by the devil's night series by penelope douglas but with an entirely different plot. all feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated!

CREDITS: main top banner by @chaconnenha ! , hyung line solo banners by @hollyoongs !

SYNOPSIS: Final exams are approaching, and you have every intention to immerse yourself in studying for the next two weeks, but your best friends decide that it's a good idea to drag you out with them to attend an all-exclusive event called 'The Devil's Night' since it is Halloween week. Initially, you feel disgruntled and detested by such a social event, especially one that is hosted by specific delinquents, but eventually, you allow yourself to relax and enjoy the night. However, some of the invited guests, including you, have no notion of what the devil's knights' goal is for this year's Halloween. From the moment you begrudgingly agreed to go to the event, you were fucked because you had no idea what truly awaited you ─  you had no idea how your life would take a drastic turn, especially when you had become their prey.

➤ PART 1

SYNOPSIS: Jake Sim has got to be more bearable compared to the others. Unlike the rest of his club members, Jake is friendlier, making him an approachable figure. You recall when you got lost in the campus building during your second week of college in your first year, but Jake found you wandering like a lost puppy and was kind enough to guide you to the place you needed to go. Even after three years, his kindness is engraved in your mind.So, when Jake approaches you, you have little reason to suspect that he has an ill-intention towards you, especially when you have completely fallen for his trap. How can you not? With that charming grin on his handsome countenance and how he makes you comfortable enough to be yourself around him. It’s so easy to be with Jake. Little do you know that he is every bit corruptive like the rest of the knights.

➤ PART 2

SYNOPSIS: For some reason, Park Sunghoon utterly despises you ─ how you are the literal definition of a good girl who steers clear of troubles, how you remain loyal and abide by the rules, how you dress modestly, the fact that you're best friends with the popular girls who are his kind of girls, the way your eyes sparkle with your face being animated, and the dimples on your cheeks whenever you smile or laugh ─ you are every bit of a girl he has no desire to fuck.However, being naturally competitive even against his best friends, he is determined to be the one to break you, poison you with his corruptive ways, and change you for the worse.

➤ PART 3.1 | PART 3.2

SYNOPSIS: You have heard unpleasant things about Jay Park, one of which is his tendency towards violence, which brings you chills as you recall a student who nearly died because of him. You know better than to cross him, and so you ignore him whenever he attempts to speak to you or pesters you by throwing such crude remarks at you, because no matter how much you want to lash out at him, you worry that your words would greatly anger him.Little do you know that your silence and how you disregard his existence have long since angered him. So he decides to teach you a little lesson, making a different approach towards you and eventually you fall for his dark allure ─ one that has you on a delirious high, and yet you find yourself slowly breaking into pieces.

➤ PART 4

SYNOPSIS: You and Lee Heeseung are pursuing the same major, and the two of you have always been the top students in your cohort throughout your university years, with the only exception that his name is always above yours. Although you have never exactly interacted with him, sometimes you catch him staring at you, and the intensity of his gaze is enough to knock the breath out of you. After being heavily involved with his comrades, you should be staying away from him, you should be avoiding him at all costs, and yet, in your vulnerable state, including the lust clouding your better judgement, you fall for his dark allure, allowing him to breach through the walls that you built to protect yourself from them.

➤ PART 5

SYNOPSIS: The mystery behind whoever orchestrated the incident has yet to unravel, and the very same incident is the start of the palpable rift in your relationship with the four leaders. Things get gradually worse, and problems after problems keep piling up, especially having discovered a shocking revelation that causes you to develop mistrust towards them, but at the same time, you are caught in a dilemma where your mind and heart are in dissonance. In spite of it all, your heart still desires for them — the ones whom you have given your heart and soul to.

➤ PART 6.1

SYNOPSIS: Your heart and mind remain in an agonising dissonance, and this time, you choose rationality over what your heart desires most, even if it is slowly killing you. But you have underestimated their determination in luring you back to them, which leads to you rebelling against your initial resolution as you fail to resist your darkest temptation. So when the tension finally snaps, you find yourself back to square one, and this time, you fear that there is no way out to elude their intoxicating, dark allure once more.

➤ PART 6.2

SYNOPSIS: Just when you think that everything has fallen back into place as it was before, a twist of fate leads you to be thrown into a shocking revelation, one that results in the breach of trust once more, and this time, the damage is completely irreversible. Being broken beyond repair, you agreed to embark on a new journey for the sake of your sanity, burying the bittersweet yet painful memories in the wreckage of your mind. But perhaps there is another twist from fate that you won't be expecting in the midst of your new blissful journey.

➤ PART 6.3

SYNOPSIS: Embarking on a new journey was definitely the best decision you have ever made. Ever since your new life started out on the very place you have ever dreamed of visiting, which has now become your reality, everything works in your favour. But you can't deny the fact that deep down inside, you miss the ones who were a major part of your life. Just like that, the universe seems to favour you as you now find yourself in a predicament involving being chased by the very past you thought you had left for good.

➤ PART 7.1

SYNOPSIS: After the heated yet emotional confrontation that led to you involuntarily revealing glimpses of your hidden emotions seeping through the cracks of your tenacious resolve to them, you knew that it was for the greater good that you had officially driven them away. But little do you know that the four ex-leaders refuse to give up on you, doing whatever it takes to get you back, even if it leads to them repressing their pride and grovelling for your forgiveness on their knees. 

➤ PART 7.2

➤ PART 7.3

love potion / lee heeseung - requested

at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Lee Heeseung and you have always been rivals, each determined to outshine the other in every class, duel, and academic challenge. their heated competition has been the talk of the school since their first year, with neither willing to back down or admit any weakness. but when a special project forces them to work together, they begin to see each other in a new light. wc 14k genre hogwarts au, academic rivals au, enemies to lovers warnings im not a potterhead, so if my references or knowledge is off, i apologize thank you anon for the request

you were calmly making your way through the crowd toward the bulletin board, where the top students in astronomy would soon be announced. head held high with the confidence that your name would remain at the top, you moved forward as the other students stepped aside. you nodded in silent thanks, then waited for the results.

"well, isn't it my best friend, yn." of course, it was him. you looked to your left, offering the tall male a fake smile.

"heeseung."

"yn."

your enemy, your arch-nemesis, your rival—lee heeseung. a gryffindor with a knack for pushing your buttons and getting under your skin. he never missed a chance to challenge you, always eager to knock you off your pedestal.

"my favorite ravenclaw, ready to step down a rank?" he teased, his chuckle following as you rolled your eyes.

"still dreaming?" you nudged him, turning your attention back to the board.

you and heeseung had been the top students in your year since your very first day at hogwarts. your rivalry was as old as your time at the school, with each of you trying to outdo the other in every subject, every exam, and every challenge that came your way. both of you were fiercely competitive, and your battle for the number one spot was legendary among your peers.

yet, despite the constant competition, there was a mutual respect between you—an unspoken acknowledgment of each other's talent and determination. but that didn’t stop either of you from doing whatever it took to come out on top. today was no different, and as the results were about to be revealed, the tension between you was palpable.

"let's see if the results speak for themselves," you muttered, eyes locked on the board as the names started to appear.

"i guess we'll find out," heeseung replied, his tone teasing but with an edge of anticipation.

as you stood there, waiting for the results, your mind drifted back to your first year at hogwarts—back to when this rivalry with heeseung began.

it had all started in your first potions class. you were both twelve, eager to prove yourselves, and it didn’t take long for sparks to fly. professor snape had just finished explaining the day’s assignment, a simple potion to test your skills. you were confident, already preparing your ingredients with precision, when you noticed him glancing your way.

“think you can manage this without blowing up your cauldron?” heeseung had whispered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“worry about your own potion, heeseung,” you shot back, not even bothering to look up. but the challenge in his tone was unmistakable, and you felt a surge of determination to outdo him.

the class had been tense, the air thick with unspoken competition. every movement he made, every precise cut of his ingredients, only fueled your resolve. you’d both finished your potions at nearly the same time, and when professor snape evaluated them, he had given you both identical marks—top scores, of course. neither of you had been satisfied with the tie.

from that day on, it was a constant game of one-upmanship. every assignment, every test, every chance to prove who was the better student was met with the same intensity. your interactions were always tense, filled with sarcastic remarks and thinly veiled insults, but there was something else there too—an undeniable spark that kept you both on your toes.

as the memory faded, you found yourself back in the present, standing next to heeseung once again. the tension between you was still there, just as it had been from the start.

the results began to appear on the board, each name materializing in glowing script. your eyes scanned the list, heart pounding in anticipation. then, you saw it—your name, right at the top where it belonged.

a breath of relief escaped your lips, quickly followed by a triumphant smile. you had done it. again.

right beneath your name, heeseung’s appeared, just a point behind you. so close, yet not close enough.

heeseung’s eyes narrowed as he took in the results, his usual smirk faltering for just a moment. “looks like you’re still holding on,” he said, the edge in his voice impossible to miss.

“just barely,” you replied, unable to resist the dig. “maybe next time, heeseung.”

he let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “we’ll see about that. enjoy it while it lasts.”

you met his gaze, the familiar mix of rivalry and respect sparking between you. there was no need for more words; the scoreboard had spoken. but as you turned to leave, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this battle was far from over. heeseung was nothing if not persistent, and you knew he’d be back, ready to challenge you again.

the following week, the rivalry between you and heeseung only intensified. it was an unspoken rule now—every class, every moment, was a new battleground.

in defense against the dark arts, professor lupin had just paired you with heeseung for a dueling exercise. as you stood across from each other, wands at the ready, the air was thick with tension. the rest of the class watched in anticipation, fully aware of the competitive history between the two of you.

“expelliarmus!” heeseung was quick, but you were quicker, deflecting his spell with ease before countering with a well-aimed “protego!” the duel was fast-paced, each of you pushing the other to the limit, neither willing to back down. the room buzzed with energy as your classmates murmured, eyes glued to the battle unfolding before them.

it wasn’t just in defense against the dark arts where the competition was fierce. in every class, you and heeseung were neck and neck, always vying for the top spot. whether it was transfiguration, potions, or charms, the two of you were constantly being compared—by your peers, by the professors, and even by yourselves.

“excellent work, miss yn,” professor mcgonagall would say, only to follow it with, “and you too, mr. heeseung, as always.” there was no escaping the constant comparisons, the subtle remarks from professors who couldn’t help but pit you against each other.

your classmates had started to place bets on who would come out on top in the next exam or who would win the next duel. it was as if your rivalry had become a sport, a source of entertainment for the entire school.

as the duel between you and heeseung reached its peak, a burst of laughter erupted from the back of the room. jay, jake, and ni-ki, heeseung’s closest friends, had been watching the entire time, their eyes glinting with amusement.

“you two are at it again,” jay called out, his tone teasing. “honestly, yn, you’re going to give heeseung a complex if you keep this up.”

jake smirked, leaning against the wall with a casual air. “or maybe it’s the other way around? heeseung, don’t tell me you’re going easy on her.”

heeseung shot them a look, a mix of irritation and amusement flashing in his eyes. “as if. you know i never back down from a challenge.”

ni-ki, the youngest of the group, couldn’t help but add, “this is getting good. professor lupin should just let you two go at it every class. way more interesting than the usual lessons.”

you rolled your eyes at their comments, but couldn’t help the slight grin that tugged at your lips. their banter was all part of the routine now, just like your rivalry with heeseung. still, you weren’t about to let their remarks distract you.

“you might want to focus, heeseung,” you said, your voice dripping with mock sweetness. “i’d hate for your friends to see you lose.”

heeseung’s gaze snapped back to you, the competitive fire in his eyes reigniting. “oh, i’m focused,” he replied, his tone low and determined. “let’s see if you can keep up.”

with that, the duel resumed, your wands clashing with renewed intensity. jay, jake, and ni-ki continued to make their remarks, laughing and egging heeseung on, but you tuned them out. all that mattered was winning—proving that you were still the best, even with the added pressure of an audience.

the room seemed to hold its breath as you and heeseung traded spells, each trying to outmaneuver the other. you could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, the whispers and murmurs growing louder with each passing second.

finally, professor lupin stepped in, raising his wand to separate the two of you. “enough, that’s enough,” he said, though there was a hint of a smile on his face. “excellent dueling, both of you. i think that’s enough excitement for one class.”

you and heeseung lowered your wands, breathing heavily but refusing to break eye contact. jay, jake, and ni-ki applauded, their laughter filling the room as they moved to join heeseung, slapping him on the back and throwing more teasing comments his way.

“nice try, yn,” jay said with a grin. “but you know heeseung’s just getting warmed up.”

“we’ll see about that,” you replied, your competitive spirit as strong as ever. you knew this wasn’t the end—far from it.

class ended, but the tension between you and heeseung lingered like a storm cloud. as the students filed out of the classroom, you gathered your things, feeling a simmering frustration that you couldn't quite shake. heeseung, flanked by jay, jake, and ni-ki, was the last to leave, and you could feel his gaze on you as you shoved your books into your bag.

"you really think you can keep this up forever?" heeseung's voice cut through the air, stopping you in your tracks. you turned to face him, your eyes flashing with anger.

"what’s that supposed to mean?" you snapped, your patience wearing thin.

heeseung stepped closer, his expression hardening. "you act like you're invincible, yn. like no one can touch you. but newsflash: you’re not unbeatable."

you took a step forward, refusing to back down. "and you act like you're the only one who can challenge me. but you’re always just a step behind, aren’t you?"

jay, jake, and ni-ki exchanged glances, sensing the rising tension but staying silent, their eyes flicking between you and heeseung.

"maybe it’s time you realized that being at the top isn’t just about grades," heeseung shot back, his voice low and edged with frustration. "it’s about how you handle the pressure, how you treat the people around you. and from where I’m standing, you’ve got a lot to learn."

the words stung, and you felt your cheeks flush with anger. "and what about you, heeseung? always so smug, always so sure you’re going to knock me down. newsflash: you haven’t succeeded yet."

heeseung’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of something more—something almost vulnerable. but it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the familiar competitive fire.

"we’ll see about that," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "this isn’t over, yn. not by a long shot."

you glared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. "bring it on, heeseung."

with that, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the classroom, leaving heeseung and his friends behind. the echoes of your argument lingered in the hallway, a testament to the fierce rivalry that defined your time at hogwarts.

as you stormed down the corridor, trying to push the argument with heeseung out of your mind, you heard hurried footsteps behind you. before you could turn, sunoo, jungwon, and sunghoon appeared at your side, concern written all over their faces.

“yn, wait up!” sunoo called out, his tone softer than usual. when he caught sight of your expression, his eyes widened. “what happened? you look like you’re about to hex someone.”

jungwon shot a worried glance at sunoo before focusing on you. “was it heeseung again? we saw him talking to you after class.”

you let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair as you tried to calm yourself down. “yeah, it was heeseung. who else would it be?”

sunghoon, always the calm and collected one, placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you can’t let him get to you like this, yn. he’s just trying to mess with your head.”

“i know,” you muttered, but the anger still simmered beneath the surface. “it’s just—he gets under my skin so easily. he acts like he’s always just one step away from beating me, and it drives me crazy.”

sunoo, ever the empathetic one, frowned. “but you always come out on top, yn. you know that. heeseung’s just trying to throw you off your game.”

jungwon nodded in agreement. “and we’re here to make sure he doesn’t. you’re better than him, and you know it.”

you couldn’t help but feel a bit of the tension ease at their words. they always knew how to pull you back from the edge, reminding you of your strengths and why you were the top student.

“thanks, guys,” you said, managing a small smile. “i just… i don’t know why he gets to me like this.”

sunghoon gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “because he’s your rival. it’s natural. but remember, we’re all in this together. we’ve got your back, no matter what.”

sunoo grinned, his usual brightness returning. “and if heeseung gives you any more trouble, we’ll deal with him. right, guys?”

jungwon and sunghoon both nodded, their expressions determined. “absolutely,” jungwon added. “you’re not alone in this, yn.”

their support brought a wave of relief, and you felt the anger start to dissipate, replaced by a renewed sense of determination. with friends like these by your side, you knew you could handle whatever heeseung—and the rivalry—threw your way.

“thanks,” you said again, this time with more confidence. “i needed that.”

“anytime,” sunghoon replied with a smile. “now, how about we grab something from the kitchens? nothing like a good snack to take your mind off things.”

sunoo’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “great idea! let’s go.”

the next morning, you sat in transfiguration, trying to focus as professor mcgonagall addressed the class. but your mind was still replaying the argument with heeseung from the day before, the tension between the two of you lingering like a dark cloud.

“today, we will begin a special project,” professor mcgonagall announced, her stern gaze sweeping across the room. “this project will require you to work in pairs, combining your knowledge and skills to complete a challenging task over the next few weeks.”

the class buzzed with excitement and nervous whispers as students exchanged glances, already wondering who they’d be paired with. you exchanged a quick look with sunoo, who was sitting beside you, silently hoping you’d get paired with one of your friends.

professor mcgonagall continued, her voice cutting through the chatter. “i’ve taken the liberty of assigning the pairs myself. the purpose of this project is not only to test your abilities but also to challenge you to work effectively with others.”

your heart sank at the mention of assigned pairs. you braced yourself, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

“yn,” professor mcgonagall’s voice rang out, and your stomach tightened with anxiety. “you will be paired with… heeseung.”

a collective gasp and a few stifled giggles spread through the classroom as your worst fear was confirmed. your eyes darted to heeseung, who was sitting a few rows away. his expression mirrored your own—shock, followed by a flash of irritation.

sunoo, sitting next to you, shot you a sympathetic look. “i can’t believe this,” he whispered, his voice filled with disbelief.

“there must be some mistake,” you muttered under your breath, but you knew there wasn’t. professor mcgonagall’s decisions were final, and there was no way out of this.

heeseung’s friends, jay, jake, and ni-ki, exchanged amused glances, barely containing their laughter. ni-ki leaned over and whispered something to heeseung, who responded with a roll of his eyes and a barely concealed grimace.

“i expect both of you to put your differences aside and work together,” professor mcgonagall added, her tone leaving no room for argument. “this project is a significant part of your grade, and i trust you’ll take it seriously.”

you swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure as the rest of the pairs were announced. by the time professor mcgonagall finished, your mind was racing with a thousand thoughts, all centered around the fact that you were now stuck working with heeseung.

as class ended, you gathered your things slowly, dreading the inevitable conversation with him. you could already feel the tension building, the animosity between you growing thicker by the second.

heeseung approached you, his expression unreadable. for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air.

“well,” he finally said, his tone clipped. “looks like we’re stuck together.”

“it’s not like i’m thrilled about this either,” you shot back, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “but i’m not about to let this project tank my grade, so let’s just get it over with.”

heeseung’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he nodded in agreement. “fine. but don’t think for a second that i’m going to go easy on you.”

“i wouldn’t expect you to,” you replied, your voice firm.

despite your protests and the obvious tension between you and heeseung, there was no escaping the inevitable. the project was set in stone, and you both knew there was no way out of it. after class, professor mcgonagall handed each pair a parchment detailing their assigned project. as you and heeseung opened yours, the complexity of the task became immediately clear.

“ancient magical artifacts?” you muttered, scanning the details. “we’re supposed to research, analyze, and present our findings on three different artifacts from the restricted section?”

heeseung frowned, clearly not thrilled either. “and we have to perform a demonstration of how they were used in their time? this is going to be a nightmare.”

“it’s not like we have a choice,” you replied, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. “we’ll need to go to the restricted section as soon as possible to get started.”

heeseung glanced at you, a mixture of reluctance and resignation in his eyes. “yeah, I guess so. let’s just get this over with.”

the two of you made your way to the library, the tension between you palpable. as you walked in silence, you couldn’t help but reflect on how strange this situation was. after years of rivalry and animosity, you were now forced to work together on one of the most challenging projects either of you had ever faced.

in the library, you approached madam pince, the stern librarian who guarded the restricted section with an iron fist. after showing her your parchment and explaining the project, she reluctantly allowed you both access, though not without a sharp warning to handle the books with care.

once inside the restricted section, you and heeseung began the painstaking process of searching for information on the artifacts. the atmosphere was heavy, the air thick with the scent of old parchment and dust. as you leafed through ancient tomes and scrolls, the silence between you grew more uncomfortable by the minute.

finally, heeseung broke the silence. “look, we need to split this up if we’re going to get anywhere. how about we each take one artifact to research on our own, and then we’ll work on the third together?”

you looked up from the book you were skimming, considering his proposal. “fine,” you agreed, though you couldn’t help the edge in your voice. “but we need to make sure we’re thorough. this project is going to be tough, and i’m not about to let my grade suffer because of sloppy work.”

heeseung shot you a sharp look. “i’m not sloppy, yn. i know how to handle a project like this. just focus on your part, and i’ll focus on mine.”

you sighed, biting back a retort. the last thing you needed was another argument. “fine,” you repeated, turning back to the book in front of you. “let’s just get this done.”

as the hours passed, you and heeseung worked in near silence, occasionally exchanging a terse comment or asking a quick question, but mostly staying in your own worlds. the artifacts you were researching were fascinating—each one held powerful magic and a rich history—but the tension between you and heeseung made it hard to focus.

by the time you’d gathered enough information to start working on your individual parts, the sun had begun to set outside, casting long shadows across the library. you closed your book with a tired sigh, glancing at heeseung, who was still deep in his research.

“we should call it a day,” you said, breaking the silence. “we can start writing up our findings tomorrow.”

heeseung looked up, his expression unreadable. “yeah, we’ll need to if we want to stay on track.”

you both gathered your things, and as you left the library, the weight of the project—and your partnership—settled heavily on your shoulders. it was clear that this collaboration was going to be anything but easy. the animosity between you and heeseung was still there, simmering just beneath the surface, but now it was mixed with something else—an uneasy alliance, born out of necessity rather than choice.

as you walked back to your common room, you couldn’t help but wonder how you were going to survive the next few weeks. the project was complex, the stakes were high, and you were stuck working with the one person who always seemed to bring out the worst in you.

but despite the tension and the challenges ahead, one thing was certain: you weren’t going to let heeseung beat you. not now, not ever.

the next few days were a blur of bickering, frustration, and barely suppressed anger as you and heeseung tried to navigate the complexities of your project. from the moment you met up in the library each day, the tension between you was almost unbearable, and it didn’t take long for the disagreements to start.

“we need to focus more on the historical context,” you insisted one afternoon, your voice rising in frustration. “the way these artifacts were used is just as important as the magic they contain.”

heeseung rolled his eyes, clearly not in the mood to agree. “we can’t get bogged down in the history, yn. the practical applications of the magic are what really matter. if we don’t demonstrate that, our project is going to fall flat.”

you shot him a glare, feeling your temper flare. “and if we ignore the history, we’ll miss the whole point of why these artifacts are important in the first place. it’s not just about the magic—it’s about the people who used it and how it shaped their lives.”

heeseung crossed his arms, clearly not convinced. “fine, but we can’t spend all our time on that. we need to strike a balance, or we’re going to run out of time.”

“then maybe if you’d actually listen to my ideas instead of dismissing them, we wouldn’t be wasting so much time arguing,” you snapped back, your patience wearing thin.

heeseung’s eyes narrowed, and for a moment, you thought he might argue further. but instead, he took a deep breath and seemed to force himself to calm down. “fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “let’s focus on the history for now, but we’re going to need to move on to the practical demonstrations soon. agreed?”

you hesitated, still feeling the sting of his earlier dismissal, but you knew he was right about the time constraints. “agreed,” you muttered, though your frustration was still simmering just beneath the surface.

the rest of the afternoon continued in much the same way, with the two of you struggling to find common ground. every decision—whether it was about the structure of your presentation, the content of your research, or the approach to your demonstrations—seemed to turn into a battle of wills, with neither of you willing to back down easily.

“i think we should use the hand of glory for our demonstration,” heeseung said during one particularly heated discussion. “it’s one of the most powerful artifacts we’re studying, and it’ll make a big impact.”

you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s too dangerous. we don’t know enough about how it works, and if we make a mistake, we could end up causing real harm. the bezoar stone is a safer option, and it still has a lot of practical applications.”

“safe isn’t going to impress professor mcgonagall,” heeseung shot back, his tone sharp. “we need to take risks if we want to stand out.”

“and what if those risks backfire?” you countered, refusing to budge. “we’re not going to get any points if we end up in the hospital wing because of a careless mistake.”

the argument dragged on, neither of you willing to concede, until finally, heeseung threw up his hands in exasperation. “fine, we’ll go with the bezoar stone, but you’d better make sure it’s impressive.”

you bit back a retort, knowing that continuing to argue would only waste more time. “i will,” you said curtly, turning back to your notes.

something began to shift as you and heeseung spent more time together. the initial days of your partnership were filled with nothing but tension and stubbornness, but slowly, almost imperceptibly, you started to notice things about him that you hadn’t before.

one evening, while you were both deep in the restricted section of the library, you watched as heeseung meticulously transcribed information from a particularly ancient text. his brow was furrowed in concentration, and there was an intensity in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before. it was clear that he was deeply invested in the project, despite his earlier dismissive attitude.

“you’re really into this, aren’t you?” you found yourself saying, unable to keep the surprise out of your voice.

heeseung looked up, momentarily startled by the lack of sarcasm in your tone. “of course i am,” he replied, a bit defensively. “just because we don’t see eye to eye on everything doesn’t mean i don’t care about this project.”

you nodded slowly, feeling a small flicker of respect for his dedication. “i guess i just didn’t expect you to be so… thorough.”

heeseung shrugged, but there was a hint of pride in his expression. “i take my work seriously. especially when it’s something as challenging as this.”

you didn’t say anything more, but as you turned back to your own research, you couldn’t help but think about how different heeseung was when he wasn’t trying to one-up you. beneath the rivalry and the bravado, there was a serious, determined student who was just as passionate about his studies as you were.

over the next few days, you began to notice other things too—small details that hinted at a side of heeseung you hadn’t seen before. the way he’d quietly stay late in the library, long after you were ready to call it a night, making sure every detail of your project was perfect. the way he’d occasionally offer a rare word of praise when you made a breakthrough, even if it was grudgingly given. and the way his expression would soften, just for a moment, when he thought you weren’t looking, revealing a vulnerability that he usually kept hidden behind his confident exterior.

in turn, you sensed that heeseung was starting to see you in a different light as well. you caught him watching you sometimes, a thoughtful look in his eyes, as if he was reevaluating everything he’d thought about you. when you made a particularly strong argument or came up with a clever solution to a problem, there was a flicker of something like admiration in his gaze, though he was careful to hide it most of the time.

one afternoon, while you were both working in a quiet corner of the library, you noticed heeseung struggling with a particularly complicated spell that was central to your project. he was trying to recreate the effects of the spell using a detailed diagram, but no matter how many times he tried, the results weren’t quite right.

“here,” you said, surprising both of you as you reached out to help. “let me see.”

heeseung hesitated for a moment, clearly not used to accepting help from you, but eventually, he handed over the parchment. you studied the diagram for a moment, then adjusted a few key elements, altering the flow of the magical energy.

“try it now,” you suggested, handing the parchment back.

heeseung glanced at you, then at the parchment, before nodding. he carefully followed the adjustments you’d made, and this time, the spell came together perfectly, the magical energy aligning just as it should.

he looked at you, a mix of surprise and gratitude in his eyes. “how did you…?”

“you were overthinking it,” you explained with a small shrug. “sometimes the simplest solution is the best one.”

heeseung stared at you for a moment longer, and you could almost see the gears turning in his mind as he processed what had just happened. then, to your surprise, he offered a small, genuine smile—one that lacked the usual competitive edge.

“thanks,” he said quietly, and for the first time, it felt like he was speaking to you as a person, not just as his rival.

“don’t mention it,” you replied, feeling a strange warmth in your chest at the unexpected moment of connection.

from that point on, the dynamic between you and heeseung began to shift, bit by bit.

it was another late night in the library, the kind that had become all too familiar over the past few weeks. the moonlight filtered through the tall windows, casting long shadows across the room as you and heeseung worked in relative silence. the only sounds were the soft scratching of quills on parchment and the occasional rustle of pages being turned.

you had been at it for hours, piecing together the final sections of your project. exhaustion was beginning to take its toll, but neither of you was willing to call it quits just yet. there was too much at stake, and the deadline was looming ever closer.

“we’re almost there,” heeseung said, his voice low and slightly hoarse from lack of sleep. “just a few more details to iron out.”

you nodded, stifling a yawn as you scribbled down some final notes. “yeah, but we need to make sure everything’s perfect. professor mcgonagall isn’t going to go easy on us.”

heeseung snorted softly. “she never does.”

for a while, you both worked in comfortable silence, the earlier tension between you having dissipated over the course of your collaboration. it was strange how the rivalry that had once defined your interactions had gradually given way to a kind of mutual understanding. you still didn’t always agree, but there was a new level of respect that hadn’t been there before.

as the clock ticked closer to midnight, you leaned back in your chair, rubbing your tired eyes. “i can’t believe we’re actually going to pull this off.”

heeseung glanced up from his work, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “yeah, who would’ve thought?”

you chuckled softly, the sound a little weary but genuine. “certainly not me.”

for a moment, you both just sat there, the weight of the past few weeks settling over you. it had been an intense and challenging journey, one that had pushed both of you to your limits. and now, as the project neared completion, there was a strange sense of camaraderie between you—something that felt almost foreign after years of animosity.

“why do you push yourself so hard, yn?” heeseung’s voice broke the silence, catching you off guard. “i mean, we’ve been competing for so long, but i never really knew why you’re so driven. what’s your reason?”

you blinked, surprised by the question. it wasn’t something you’d ever expected him to ask, let alone something you’d planned to share. but there was something about the quiet intimacy of the moment, the exhaustion and the late hour, that made you feel like maybe—just maybe—you could let your guard down, if only a little.

“it’s… complicated,” you began, your voice hesitant as you searched for the right words. “i guess it all started with my family. they’ve always had high expectations, you know? being a ravenclaw, there’s this constant pressure to be the best, to excel in everything. my parents—they were both top of their class when they were here, and they expect the same from me. i’ve always felt like i had to prove myself, to show them that i’m just as good, if not better.”

heeseung listened quietly, his expression thoughtful as you spoke. you could see a flicker of understanding in his eyes, like he was beginning to piece together parts of you that he hadn’t seen before.

“it’s exhausting,” you admitted, feeling a little vulnerable. “sometimes it feels like no matter what i do, it’s never enough. so i keep pushing myself, hoping that maybe, one day, i’ll finally be able to meet their expectations.”

there was a long pause, the silence between you filled with unspoken emotions. then, to your surprise, heeseung spoke up, his voice unusually soft. “i get it. i mean, it’s different for me, but… i get it.”

you looked at him, curiosity piqued. “what do you mean?”

heeseung hesitated for a moment, as if debating whether or not to share. but then, he sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “my family’s different. they’re not as focused on academics, but… they’ve always been there for me, supporting me in everything i do. i know how lucky i am to have that, but it also means i don’t want to disappoint them. they’ve sacrificed a lot for me to be here, and i feel like i owe it to them to succeed, to make the most of the opportunities they’ve given me.”

you listened, surprised by the honesty in his words. it was a side of heeseung you hadn’t seen before—one that was driven not just by ambition or competition, but by a deep sense of responsibility and gratitude.

“so that’s why you’re always so determined,” you said quietly, beginning to understand. “it’s not just about beating me or being the best—it’s about making sure your family’s sacrifices weren’t in vain.”

heeseung nodded, his expression serious. “yeah, something like that. and i guess… it’s also about proving to myself that i can do it. that i’m not just coasting on their support, but that i’m actually capable of achieving something on my own.”

you both fell silent again, the weight of your shared stories hanging in the air. it was strange, this newfound understanding between you—like a fragile bridge built over years of rivalry and competition. but as you sat there, side by side in the quiet library, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t so different after all.

“we’ve both been carrying a lot, haven’t we?” you finally said, your voice soft.

heeseung nodded, a faint smile touching his lips. “yeah, we have. but i guess that’s what makes us who we are.”

“rivals,” you said with a small, rueful laugh.

“and maybe something more,” heeseung added, his tone thoughtful.

you looked at him, a little startled by his words, but there was no teasing or challenge in his expression—just a quiet, genuine honesty that you hadn’t expected.

“maybe,” you agreed, feeling a strange warmth in your chest.

as the days passed, the dynamic between you and heeseung continued to evolve —a subtle undertone of respect that hadn’t been there before.

you found yourselves falling into a rhythm, one that surprised you both. there were moments when you’d catch heeseung watching you as you worked, his expression unreadable, as if he were seeing you in a new light. at times, you’d notice yourself doing the same, observing the way he methodically tackled challenges, his determination unyielding.

it was during one of these moments, late at night when the rest of the castle was asleep, that you first began to acknowledge the shift between you. you were both hunched over the same ancient tome, deciphering the intricate details of a particularly difficult spell. without thinking, you leaned closer to see better, your shoulders brushing against each other.

“here, try adjusting the incantation this way,” heeseung suggested, his voice low and steady as he pointed to a line of text. “it should help stabilize the magical flow.”

you followed his suggestion, altering the incantation slightly before attempting the spell again. to your surprise, it worked perfectly, the magical energy aligning just as it should.

“that actually worked,” you said, looking up at him with a mix of surprise and appreciation. “nice catch, heeseung.”

heeseung gave you a small, almost shy smile—one that lacked the usual competitive edge. “thanks. you know, you’re not half bad at this either, yn.”

the unexpected compliment caught you off guard, and for a moment, you weren’t sure how to respond. eventually, you settled for a simple, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

the exchange was brief, but it marked a turning point in your partnership. there were still disagreements and moments of tension, but they were now balanced by a growing sense of camaraderie. you found yourselves working more smoothly together, each of you beginning to trust the other’s judgment in ways you hadn’t before.

during one particularly challenging task, you even surprised yourself by seeking out heeseung’s advice willingly. you were struggling with a particularly tricky potion that was integral to your project, and after several failed attempts, you finally turned to him.

“i can’t seem to get the consistency right,” you admitted, frustration creeping into your voice. “the potion keeps separating, no matter how carefully i follow the instructions.”

heeseung leaned over to inspect your work, his brow furrowing in concentration. “let me see… i think you might be adding the crushed bezoar too early. try mixing it in after the potion reaches a simmer.”

you followed his suggestion, and sure enough, the potion began to come together perfectly, the ingredients blending smoothly.

“how do you do that?” you asked, a mix of admiration and curiosity in your voice. “you always seem to know exactly what’s going wrong.”

heeseung shrugged, but there was a hint of pride in his expression. “i’ve always been good with potions. i guess i just have a knack for it.”

“well, it’s impressive,” you admitted, feeling a twinge of respect for him. “thanks for the help.”

heeseung nodded, his expression softening slightly. “anytime.”

as the days continued to pass, these moments of mutual respect and understanding became more frequent. you found yourself looking forward to the time spent working together, even if you were still reluctant to fully acknowledge it. there was something comforting about the way you could challenge each other, push each other to be better, without the usual undercurrent of animosity.

but despite the growing bond between you, neither of you was quite ready to admit it out loud. the rivalry that had defined your relationship for so long was still there, lingering in the background, and old habits were hard to break. you were both too stubborn, too proud, to fully let go of the competitive edge that had always driven you.

yet, even as you continued to trade barbs and challenge each other, there was a new undercurrent of something else—something that felt almost like friendship, though neither of you would have dared to call it that. it was still too soon, too uncertain, to fully embrace the change. but the first signs were there, undeniable in the way you worked together, in the way you’d begun to see each other as more than just rivals.

one evening, as you were packing up your things after a long day of work, heeseung hesitated before speaking. “you know, yn… we make a pretty good team.”

you paused, surprised by his words. for a moment, you considered brushing it off with a sarcastic remark, but something in his tone stopped you. instead, you found yourself nodding, a small, reluctant smile tugging at your lips. “yeah, we do.”

heeseung smiled back, and for the first time, it felt like a genuine connection—one that went beyond the rivalry that had defined your relationship for so long.

as you both left the library that night, walking side by side through the quiet halls of hogwarts, you couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for you both. the rivalry was still there, but it was no longer the only thing that defined your relationship.

one evening, as you were both working late in the deserted classroom you’d claimed as your project base, the air was thick with tension. the amulet lay on the table between you, glowing faintly with an eerie, pulsating light. you had just finished deciphering a particularly complicated series of runes when heeseung spoke up.

“we need to be careful with this next part,” he said, his voice low and serious. “the spell to activate the amulet’s power is extremely sensitive. if we get it wrong, it could backfire.”

you nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety form in your stomach. “i know. but we’ve come this far—we can’t stop now.”

heeseung met your gaze, and for a moment, you saw the same determination mirrored in his eyes. “agreed. let’s do this.”

you both took a deep breath and began the incantation, your voices blending together as you carefully followed the instructions you’d painstakingly translated from the ancient text. the air around you seemed to hum with energy, the light from the amulet growing brighter with each word spoken.

but just as you reached the final phrase, something went wrong. the amulet’s glow intensified suddenly, flaring with a blinding brilliance that made you both flinch. a high-pitched whine filled the room, and before you could react, the amulet exploded with a burst of uncontrolled magic.

you were thrown back by the force of the blast, crashing into the wall behind you. the impact knocked the wind out of you, leaving you gasping for breath as the room spun around you. through the haze of pain and disorientation, you heard heeseung shout your name.

“yn! are you okay?”

you forced yourself to sit up, wincing at the sharp pain in your side. “i’m fine,” you managed to say, though your voice was shaky. “what about you?”

heeseung was already on his feet, his wand drawn as he surveyed the chaotic scene. “i’m okay, but the amulet—” he broke off, his expression darkening as he pointed to where the artifact had been moments before.

the amulet was now hovering in midair, surrounded by a crackling aura of unstable magic. the runes etched into its surface were glowing with a malevolent light, and the energy it was emitting was growing stronger by the second.

“we have to stop it,” heeseung said urgently, his voice tight with fear. “if it releases all that magic at once, it could destroy the whole room—and us with it.”

you nodded, your mind racing as you tried to think of a solution. “we need to contain the magic, redirect it somehow before it builds up too much.”

heeseung’s eyes darted around the room, and you could see the wheels turning in his mind. “i think i can create a barrier around it, but i’ll need your help to stabilize it. can you do that?”

you nodded, pushing yourself to your feet despite the pain. “i’ll do my best.”

working quickly, you and heeseung moved into position, your wands raised as you began casting the necessary spells. heeseung’s barrier started to form around the amulet, a shimmering dome of protective magic, but the unstable energy was resisting, threatening to break through.

“it’s not holding,” heeseung gritted out, sweat beading on his forehead as he fought to maintain the barrier. “i need more power—now!”

you didn’t hesitate, channeling your magic into the spell he was casting. the strain was immense, the pressure of the wild magic pushing against your combined efforts, but you held on, focusing all your energy on keeping the barrier intact.

for a few terrifying moments, it felt like the magic would overwhelm you, like the barrier would shatter and unleash the full force of the amulet’s power. but then, slowly, the chaotic energy began to stabilize, the violent pulses of magic subsiding as your spells took hold.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, the glow of the amulet began to fade, the crackling aura dissipating as the magic was safely contained. you and heeseung maintained the barrier for a few moments longer, just to be sure, before finally allowing it to dissolve.

as the room fell into an exhausted silence, you both stood there, breathing heavily, your hands trembling from the effort. the amulet now lay on the floor, inert and harmless, the danger passed.

“we did it,” you said softly, your voice filled with a mix of relief and disbelief.

heeseung nodded, his expression a mix of exhaustion and something else—something that looked almost like admiration. “yeah, we did. you were incredible, yn. i couldn’t have done it without you.”

you met his gaze, feeling a strange warmth in your chest despite the lingering fear and exhaustion. “we make a good team,” you admitted, the words coming easier now after everything you’d just been through.

heeseung smiled, a genuine, unguarded smile that you rarely saw from him. “yeah, we do.”

the days following the incident were marked by an undeniable shift in the way you and heeseung interacted. the rivalry that had once defined your relationship felt less intense, as if the near-disaster had forced you both to re-evaluate what truly mattered. neither of you brought up the magical mishap directly, but it hung in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that had formed during those tense moments.

you noticed it first in the way heeseung spoke to you. gone was the sharp edge to his voice, the ever-present hint of competition. instead, his tone was more measured, even respectful. it was as if the experience had softened something in him, allowing a different side to emerge.

one afternoon, as you both sat in the library reviewing notes, you caught him glancing at you out of the corner of your eye. when you looked up, he didn’t immediately look away, instead holding your gaze for a moment longer than usual.

“about what happened,” heeseung began, his voice unusually quiet. “i’ve been thinking… maybe we’ve been going about this all wrong.”

you raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “what do you mean?”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he searched for the right words. “we’ve spent so much time trying to outdo each other that we never really stopped to consider what we could accomplish if we actually worked together. i mean, look at what we did the other night. we barely made it out of that mess, but we did it—because we were working as a team.”

you nodded slowly, his words resonating with the thoughts that had been swirling in your mind since the incident. “yeah, you’re right. it’s strange… after all these years of competing, I never really thought about what it would be like to be on the same side. it’s… easier than I expected.”

heeseung smiled faintly, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “easier? coming from you, that’s saying something.”

you rolled your eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “don’t get used to it.”

he chuckled, the sound surprisingly warm, and for a brief moment, the usual tension between you dissolved, replaced by something lighter, almost friendly.

as the days went by, this new dynamic began to take root. you still challenged each other, still pushed each other to be better, but there was a noticeable difference in the way you approached it. the sharp edges of your rivalry had softened, making room for something more collaborative.

one evening, while you were both working late in the library, the conversation drifted away from the project and onto more personal topics. it started innocently enough, with a question about favorite books, but soon, you found yourselves sharing more than just academic preferences.

“you know,” you said, leaning back in your chair, “i always thought you were just this arrogant gryffindor who enjoyed making my life difficult.”

heeseung laughed softly, shaking his head. “and i always thought you were a stuck-up ravenclaw who couldn’t stand to lose. guess we both had the wrong idea.”

“yeah,” you agreed, a small smile tugging at your lips. “it’s funny how things turn out.”

heeseung’s expression grew more serious, and he hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “there’s more to it than that, though. i’ve always felt like i had something to prove, like i had to be the best at everything to… i don’t know, be taken seriously, i guess. and competing with you—well, it made me push myself harder.”

you listened quietly, sensing that this was something he didn’t often talk about. “i get that,” you said after a moment. “i’ve always felt the same way. being the best is a way of proving to myself that i’m worth something. but i think… i think i’ve realized that there’s more to it than just winning.”

heeseung nodded, his gaze meeting yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. “yeah. maybe we don’t have to be rivals all the time. maybe we can just… be.”

the simplicity of his words struck a chord with you, and for the first time in a long while, you felt the walls you’d built up around yourself start to crumble. the rivalry, the constant need to prove yourself—it all seemed less important in the face of the connection you were beginning to forge.

“maybe we can,” you agreed softly, a tentative smile crossing your face.

as the conversation continued, you found yourselves sharing stories, laughing at old memories, and even confiding in each other about your hopes and fears. the change was subtle, but undeniable. you were no longer just rivals, no longer defined solely by your competition. you were two people who had been through a lot together, who were starting to see each other in a new light.

you found yourselves meeting up more frequently, not just in the library or classrooms, but in quieter corners of the castle where you could work without interruption. at first, it was strictly about the project, but gradually, your conversations began to drift into more personal territory.

“i’ve never really asked,” you said one evening, as you both sat by the fire in the ravenclaw common room, books and parchment spread out before you. “why do you push yourself so hard in school? i mean, i get the competition, but it seems like there’s more to it.”

heeseung looked up from his notes, surprised by the question. he was silent for a moment, as if weighing how much to reveal. “i guess it’s because i’ve always felt like i had something to prove,” he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. “being the eldest son in my family comes with a lot of expectations. and at hogwarts, it’s like… it’s my chance to show that i’m capable of more than just living up to the family name. but it’s exhausting sometimes.”

you nodded, understanding all too well. “i know what you mean. for me, it’s about feeling like i belong. growing up, i was always the odd one out, the bookworm who didn’t quite fit in. being at the top here—it’s my way of proving that i’m good enough, that i deserve to be here. but yeah, it can be lonely.”

heeseung looked at you then, his gaze softer, more empathetic than you’d ever seen it. “i never thought about it like that,” he said quietly. “i guess we’re more alike than i realized.”

the shared understanding created a new kind of bond between you, one that extended beyond academic rivalry. over the next few weeks, your study sessions became more frequent, and your conversations grew deeper. you found yourself looking forward to these moments, enjoying his company in a way that surprised you.

the shift in your dynamic didn’t go unnoticed by your fellow students. whispers and sideways glances followed you in the hallways, and more than a few knowing smiles were exchanged when you and heeseung walked into the library together.

“well, well, look who’s finally getting along,” one of your ravenclaw classmates teased as you passed by. “i never thought i’d see the day.”

you rolled your eyes, trying to brush off the comment, but you couldn’t ignore the slight warmth that crept into your cheeks.

heeseung, however, seemed unfazed by the attention. “let them talk,” he said with a shrug as you both settled into your usual spot. “they’ve got nothing better to do.”

but the teasing wasn’t limited to just your house. in gryffindor, heeseung’s friends were just as quick to notice the change.

“so, heeseung,” jay drawled one afternoon as they sat in the common room, “you and yn seem to be spending a lot of time together these days. should we be expecting wedding invitations soon?”

heeseung shot him a withering look, though his friends could see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “it’s not like that,” he muttered, but the way he avoided their eyes made them exchange amused glances.

“sure, sure,” jake chimed in, grinning. “it’s just a project, right? nothing more.”

“you guys are impossible,” heeseung sighed, shaking his head, but there was no real irritation in his voice. if anything, the teasing felt oddly comforting, a sign that even his friends could see the positive change in him.

over time, the teasing became a constant background noise, something neither of you could completely escape, but you found that it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. if anything, it only highlighted how much things had changed between you and heeseung. you were no longer just rivals locked in a never-ending battle for supremacy. you were… something else, something that neither of you had quite figured out yet.

and as the days went by, you realized that you didn’t mind the change. in fact, you were starting to welcome it.

as the end of the term approached, hogwarts was abuzz with excitement for the upcoming winter ball. the great hall was already being transformed, adorned with shimmering icicles and twinkling fairy lights that gave the castle a magical, ethereal glow. students chattered eagerly about their outfits, their dates, and the promise of a night filled with music, dancing, and festive cheer.

you, however, hadn’t given much thought to the ball. between your classes, the ongoing project with heeseung, and the unexpected shift in your dynamic, your mind was already occupied with enough complications. the idea of finding a date just seemed like another task on an already overflowing list.

that changed one afternoon when you found yourself alone in the courtyard, enjoying a rare moment of quiet. the crisp winter air nipped at your cheeks as you flipped through the pages of your book, trying to ignore the cold as you immersed yourself in your studies.

“yn?” a voice called, pulling you from your thoughts.

you looked up to see felix, a cheerful hufflepuff with a wide, friendly grin and an air of perpetual optimism. you’d always liked him; his bright energy was infectious, and he had a way of making everyone around him feel at ease.

“hey, felix,” you greeted him, closing your book and offering him a smile.

he seemed a little nervous, shifting from foot to foot as he approached. “um, i hope i’m not interrupting,” he began, glancing down at your book.

“no, not at all,” you replied, curious about what had brought him over. “what’s up?”

felix took a deep breath, as if steeling himself. “well, i was wondering… have you decided who you’re going to the winter ball with yet?”

the question caught you off guard. you hadn’t expected anyone to ask, especially not felix, and for a moment, you just stared at him, trying to process what he was saying.

“i… haven’t really thought about it,” you admitted, feeling a bit flustered.

“well, if you’re not going with anyone yet,” felix said, his grin widening as he took the plunge, “i was hoping you might consider going with me.”

before you could respond, a familiar voice cut through the air, laced with an unmistakable note of possessiveness.

“actually, she’s already going with me.”

you turned to see heeseung standing a few steps away, his expression calm but his eyes flashing with something that looked suspiciously like jealousy. his appearance was so sudden and unexpected that you found yourself momentarily speechless.

felix blinked, clearly surprised by the interruption. “oh… really? i didn’t know you two were—”

“we are,” heeseung interjected smoothly, stepping closer to you and giving you a look that was both challenging and expectant, as if daring you to contradict him.

you opened your mouth to protest, to correct him, but the words didn’t come. instead, you found yourself caught between the two of them, your mind racing to make sense of the situation.

felix, ever the good sport, chuckled awkwardly and raised his hands in surrender. “well, that’s settled then. i guess i’ll have to find someone else to go with,” he said, his tone light, though there was a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

“thanks for asking, though, felix,” you managed to say, still reeling from the sudden turn of events.

he gave you a good-natured smile. “no worries. see you at the ball, then.” with a final nod, felix turned and walked away, leaving you alone with heeseung.

the silence that followed was thick with unspoken words. you turned to heeseung, who was watching felix’s retreating figure with an unreadable expression.

“what was that about?” you asked, your voice tinged with confusion and more than a little annoyance. “i never agreed to go with you.”

heeseung finally looked at you, and you saw a flicker of something vulnerable beneath his usual confident facade. “i know,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck in a rare show of uncertainty. “but i couldn’t just let you go with someone else.”

you frowned, trying to make sense of his words. “why not?”

he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground before he spoke again. “because… because i wanted to go with you.”

the simplicity of his confession caught you off guard. for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. you’d always seen heeseung as your rival, your equal in so many ways, but this was different. this was him, standing before you, stripped of the usual bravado and letting you see a side of him that you hadn’t fully acknowledged before.

“heeseung…” you started, unsure of what to say.

“look, i know it’s sudden,” he continued, his tone softer now. “and i know we’ve had our… issues. but things have been different between us lately, and i just thought—well, maybe we could try being something other than rivals, even if it’s just for one night.”

you studied him for a long moment, searching his face for any sign of the arrogance that usually defined your interactions. but all you saw was sincerity, and something that looked an awful lot like hope.

“okay,” you said finally, your voice quiet but firm. “i’ll go with you.”

his expression brightened, the tension in his shoulders easing as he let out a breath he didn’t seem to realize he’d been holding. “really?”

“really,” you confirmed, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the confusion still swirling in your mind.

heeseung’s answering smile was one of pure relief and genuine happiness. “great. i’ll… i’ll meet you at the entrance hall before the ball?”

you nodded, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. “yeah. sounds good.”

with that, heeseung gave you one last look, a mix of excitement and something else that made your heart flutter unexpectedly, before turning and walking away.

the next weekend, you found yourself in diagon alley, flanked by sunoo and yuna as you wandered through a boutique filled with elegant gowns and robes. the winter ball was fast approaching, and the three of you had decided to make a day of it, searching for the perfect outfits to wear.

as sunoo and yuna enthusiastically pulled dresses off racks, debating colors and styles, you found your thoughts drifting to heeseung. ever since he had asked you to the ball—if you could even call it asking—you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. the way he had looked at you, the way his voice had softened when he spoke… it was all so confusing.

“yn, what do you think of this one?” yuna’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see her holding up a shimmering navy gown with delicate silver embroidery.

“it’s beautiful,” you replied automatically, though your mind was elsewhere.

“but is it you?” sunoo chimed in, giving you a knowing look. “you’ve been a bit out of it today. something on your mind?”

you hesitated, not sure how to put your jumbled thoughts into words. “it’s nothing,” you said, trying to sound casual as you flipped through a rack of dresses.

“it’s obviously not nothing,” yuna pointed out, setting the dress aside and crossing her arms. “you’ve been spacing out all day. is this about the ball? or maybe… who you’re going with?”

you sighed, realizing there was no point in trying to hide it. sunoo and yuna knew you too well. “it’s heeseung,” you admitted, finally voicing the name that had been circling your mind. “i can’t figure out what’s going on between us. one minute we’re rivals, the next we’re working together, and now… now he’s asked me to the ball. but i don’t even know if he really likes me, or if he’s just messing with me.”

sunoo exchanged a glance with yuna, and they both gave you a sympathetic look. “have you thought about just asking him how he feels?” sunoo suggested gently. “it might clear things up.”

“or maybe you could try to figure out how you feel first,” yuna added, her tone soft. “it sounds like you’re just as confused about your own feelings as you are about his.”

you let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through your hair. “i know, but it’s just… complicated. he’s always been my rival, my competition. i don’t know how to deal with this sudden shift.”

“come on, let’s sit down for a minute,” sunoo said, taking your arm and steering you toward the dressing room area. yuna followed, concern etched on her face.

once inside the small, cozy room, sunoo and yuna guided you to one of the plush benches, sitting on either side of you. the soft lighting and quiet atmosphere provided a much-needed break from the overwhelming swirl of emotions you were feeling.

“yn,” yuna began, her voice soothing, “it’s okay to be confused. you’ve been dealing with a lot lately, and it’s only natural that your feelings might be all over the place. but whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. you don’t have to have everything figured out right now.”

sunoo nodded in agreement, resting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “and if heeseung really does like you—and it sounds like he might—then he’ll understand that this is new territory for you both. you don’t have to rush into anything. just take it one step at a time.”

you looked between your two friends, their warmth and understanding providing a balm to your frayed nerves. “thanks, guys,” you said quietly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “i guess i just needed to hear that it’s okay to not have all the answers.”

“of course it’s okay,” yuna said, squeezing your hand. “and whatever happens, we’ll be here for you. whether you end up with heeseung or not, we’ve got your back.”

sunoo grinned, his usual playful demeanor shining through. “and hey, if heeseung gives you any trouble, you know we’ll take care of him.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at that, the tension in your chest easing a little. “i’m sure you will.”

the night of the winter ball arrived, and hogwarts was transformed into a winter wonderland. the great hall was adorned with twinkling lights, enchanted snowflakes drifting down from the enchanted ceiling without ever touching the ground. the sound of soft music filled the air, setting the stage for an evening of magic and memories.

you stood in front of the mirror in your dormitory, adjusting the soft, flowing fabric of your dress—the very same navy gown yuna had suggested. its silver embroidery shimmered in the candlelight, complementing the simple yet elegant look you had chosen. despite your earlier doubts, you couldn’t deny that you felt a mix of excitement and nerves fluttering in your stomach.

“you look amazing,” yuna said, smiling as she fixed the last few strands of her hair in the mirror beside you. sunoo, dressed in sharp robes, gave you an approving nod.

“heeseung’s not going to know what hit him,” sunoo teased, winking at you.

you rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile. “let’s just hope he doesn’t trip over his own feet when he sees me.”

with a final deep breath, you made your way to the entrance hall, where students were gathering before entering the great hall. you spotted heeseung almost immediately, standing off to the side, talking with jay, jake, and ni-ki. he looked up as you approached, his gaze locking onto yours, and for a moment, it felt like everything else faded away.

heeseung was dressed in dark, tailored robes that accentuated his tall frame, his hair neatly styled. but what caught your attention most was the way he was looking at you—something warm and appreciative in his eyes that sent a shiver down your spine.

“you look… wow,” heeseung said, his voice almost a whisper as you reached him. he seemed momentarily at a loss for words, a rare sight for someone usually so confident and quick with a remark.

“you don’t look so bad yourself,” you replied, trying to ignore the way your heart was pounding in your chest.

his friends took the opportunity to make themselves scarce, offering you both knowing grins as they wandered off into the crowd. you and heeseung were left standing there, the unspoken tension between you suddenly feeling much more tangible.

“shall we?” heeseung asked, offering you his arm with a slightly awkward but endearing smile.

you hesitated for only a moment before accepting, looping your arm through his. together, you made your way into the great hall, the soft strains of music growing louder as you entered the beautifully decorated room. chandeliers glimmered overhead, casting a warm glow over the assembled students, who were already beginning to pair off and dance.

for a while, the two of you simply walked around the edges of the hall, exchanging polite conversation about anything but the real question hovering between you. you couldn’t help but notice how heeseung’s arm stayed close to yours, how he seemed to be making a conscious effort to stay by your side.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, heeseung stopped and turned to face you, his expression a mix of nervousness and determination. “do you… want to dance?” he asked, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it.

“i’d like that,” you replied, surprising even yourself with how much you meant it.

he led you onto the dance floor, the soft strains of a waltz beginning to play as you found your place among the other couples. heeseung’s hand rested lightly on your waist, his other hand holding yours with a gentleness that contrasted with the fierce competitor you were so used to seeing.

the first few steps were tentative, both of you trying to find your rhythm. it was awkward at first—heeseung’s foot nearly caught on the hem of your dress, and you stumbled slightly as you tried to keep up with the music. but then heeseung let out a quiet laugh, the sound light and warm, and you found yourself laughing too.

“maybe we’re not cut out for ballroom dancing,” you joked, your nerves easing as you looked up at him.

“speak for yourself,” heeseung shot back playfully, his smile widening. “i’m just getting started.”

with that, he spun you gently, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way he seemed to be enjoying himself. the awkwardness began to fade, replaced by a strange but pleasant feeling of comfort. you found your rhythm together, your steps more in sync with each passing moment.

as the music swelled, you felt something shift between you. there was a new understanding, a silent acknowledgment that things were different now. it wasn’t just about competition or rivalry anymore—it was about enjoying each other’s company, about recognizing the connection that had grown between you.

when the song finally ended, you found yourself still in his arms, neither of you making a move to pull away. the applause of the other students was just background noise as you looked up at him, your heart beating a little faster.

“i had fun,” heeseung said softly, his gaze holding yours.

“me too,” you admitted, realizing that you meant it more than you ever thought you would.

for a moment, it seemed like he might say something more, but then the next song started, and you both became aware of the other students around you. with a slightly bashful smile, heeseung stepped back, releasing your hand reluctantly.

“should we get some punch?” he suggested, trying to break the sudden tension.

“yeah, that sounds good,” you agreed, though a part of you missed the closeness already.

as you walked off the dance floor together, you couldn’t help but feel that this night had marked a turning point. the rivalry that had once defined your relationship was beginning to fade, replaced by something new—something that was still unfolding, but felt like the start of something important.

as the night wound down and the last notes of music faded into the background, the students began to filter out of the great hall, their laughter and chatter filling the corridors of hogwarts. you and heeseung lingered near the entrance, neither of you in a rush to return to your respective common rooms. the night had been unexpectedly wonderful, and neither of you seemed ready for it to end.

“want to take the long way back?” heeseung asked, his voice quiet, as if not to disturb the magic of the evening.

you nodded, feeling the same reluctance to let the moment slip away. “sure.”

together, you slipped out of the main entrance and into the cool night air. the grounds were bathed in the soft glow of moonlight, the stars twinkling brightly in the clear sky above. the castle loomed behind you, its silhouette majestic against the night, but your attention was focused on the path ahead and the quiet presence beside you.

for a while, you walked in comfortable silence, the only sounds the gentle rustling of the trees and the distant hooting of an owl. it was peaceful, almost surreal after the bustling energy of the ball.

“tonight was… different,” heeseung finally said, breaking the silence. his voice was thoughtful, as if he were carefully choosing his words.

“yeah, it was,” you agreed, glancing up at him. “but it was nice.”

“it was,” he echoed, a small smile playing on his lips. “i didn’t think we’d end up having fun, to be honest.”

“neither did i,” you admitted with a chuckle. “i guess we’re both full of surprises.”

heeseung laughed softly, the sound carrying in the stillness of the night. “i guess we are. you know, i always thought we’d be stuck as rivals forever, constantly trying to outdo each other.”

“me too,” you said, your tone growing more reflective. “but maybe that’s just how we needed to start. it’s how we pushed each other to be better.”

heeseung nodded, his gaze fixed on the stars above. “and maybe… maybe there’s more to us than just competition.”

you felt your heart skip a beat at his words, the implication hanging in the air between you. “maybe,” you said softly, unsure of what else to say.

you continued walking, the silence between you now filled with unspoken thoughts and questions. there was a new understanding between you, something that felt fragile and new, yet powerful. it was as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting to see where this newfound connection would lead.

as you approached the point where your paths would diverge—him to gryffindor tower and you to the ravenclaw common room—heeseung slowed his steps, turning to face you.

“i’m glad we did this,” he said, his voice sincere. “i’m glad we… got to know each other a little better.”

“me too,” you replied, meeting his gaze. “it feels like a new beginning.”

heeseung smiled, a genuine, warm smile that reached his eyes. “yeah, it does.”

there was a moment of hesitation, as if both of you were waiting for something more to be said, something that might tip the balance of whatever was happening between you. but then, with a small, almost shy nod, heeseung stepped back.

“goodnight, yn,” he said, his voice gentle.

“goodnight, heeseung,” you replied, a soft smile on your lips.

The days following the winter ball were a confusing whirlwind of emotions. Your interactions with Heeseung had become charged with an unspoken tension that neither of you dared to address. The rivalry that had once defined your relationship seemed to be fading, replaced by something much more complicated. You found yourself drawn to him in ways you never expected, but the fear of the unknown kept you on edge.

Every time you were together, whether it was working on your project or passing each other in the corridors, there was a lingering sense of anticipation, like something was about to happen. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. The way he looked at you had changed—there was a softness in his gaze that hadn’t been there before, but it was always coupled with an underlying tension that kept you both on guard.

One afternoon, you and Heeseung were in the library, surrounded by stacks of ancient books and parchment. The project was almost complete, and with it, the excuse to spend time together was coming to an end. Heeseung was unusually quiet, his focus seemingly elsewhere as he absently flipped through a dusty tome.

“Are you okay?” you asked, breaking the silence, your voice softer than usual. You’d grown accustomed to his company, and the thought of something being wrong between you gnawed at your insides.

Heeseung didn’t look up. “Just thinking,” he replied, his tone distant.

“About what?” you pressed, sensing that whatever was bothering him, it had to do with more than just the project.

He finally met your eyes, but instead of the warmth you had come to expect, there was a hardness there, something defensive. “About how maybe we’ve been wasting our time on this project. I mean, what’s the point? It’s not like we’re going to change anything.”

His words felt like a slap in the face, cutting through the fragile connection you had been building. You had poured your energy into this project, but more than that, you had opened yourself up to him in ways you hadn’t done with anyone else. And now, it felt like he was dismissing all of it.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, trying to keep the hurt out of your voice. “We’ve been working hard on this—together.”

Heeseung’s expression was unreadable, but his voice was laced with frustration. “Yeah, together,” he repeated. “But maybe we’ve been too focused on this… on us, and not enough on what really matters.”

The implication behind his words stung deeply. It felt like he was saying that everything between you—the late-night study sessions, the shared glances, the subtle shifts in your dynamic—meant nothing to him. Your chest tightened, and you felt a surge of anger rise up, mingling with the hurt.

“So you think this was a mistake? That we were a mistake?” you asked, your voice trembling as you struggled to keep your emotions in check.

“No, that’s not what I—” Heeseung started, but the damage was already done.

You stood up abruptly, your chair scraping loudly against the stone floor, drawing the attention of a few nearby students. “If that’s how you feel, then maybe we should just finish this project and go back to being rivals,” you snapped, the bitterness in your tone making it clear how much his words had affected you. “It’s clearly all we’re good at.”

Heeseung’s face fell, and you could see the regret in his eyes, but your hurt and anger were too strong to let him off the hook that easily. Without another word, you gathered your things and stormed out of the library, leaving him sitting there, looking like he wanted to take back every word he had just said. But it was too late. The fragile connection you had begun to form was shattered.

The days that followed were some of the hardest you’d experienced at Hogwarts. You threw yourself into your studies and Quidditch practice, anything to distract yourself from the gaping hole that had been left by your fight with Heeseung. Sunoo and Yuna noticed the change in you, but they gave you space, sensing that you weren’t ready to talk about what had happened.

But no matter how much you tried to focus on other things, your thoughts kept circling back to him. The hurtful words he had said, the regret in his eyes as you walked away—it all replayed in your mind over and over again. You had never been this affected by someone before, and the realization of just how much Heeseung meant to you was overwhelming.

You missed him. You missed the way he challenged you, the way he made you laugh even when you didn’t want to, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room. But more than anything, you missed the way he had started to let you see the real him, the parts of himself that he kept hidden from everyone else.

In Gryffindor Tower, Heeseung was going through his own turmoil. He hadn’t meant to hurt you, but his fear of what he was feeling had driven him to push you away. It had been easier to fall back on the familiar role of rivals than to face the truth: that he cared about you more than he had ever cared about anyone else. But now, with you gone, he was left with nothing but regret.

He replayed your argument in his head, wishing he could take back every word. He missed you, more than he thought possible. The way you challenged him, the way you made him want to be better, the way your presence had become something he looked forward to every day. He couldn’t ignore it any longer. He was in love with you, and the thought of losing you was unbearable.

It took several days of wrestling with his emotions, but eventually, Heeseung knew what he had to do. He couldn’t let things end like this, not when there was still so much left unsaid.

It was late in the evening when you returned to the Ravenclaw common room after a grueling Quidditch practice. Your muscles ached, and all you wanted was to collapse into bed and forget about the day. But as you stepped through the entrance, you were greeted by an unexpected sight.

Heeseung was standing by the entrance, his posture tense and his eyes locked on you the moment you walked in. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his usual confident demeanor replaced by something much more vulnerable.

“YN, wait,” he said, his voice almost pleading as he took a step towards you.

You hesitated, your heart pounding in your chest. You weren’t sure if you were ready for this conversation, but something in his expression made you pause.

“What do you want, Heeseung?” you asked, your voice guarded. You couldn’t afford to be hurt by him again.

“To apologize,” he said quickly, his voice filled with urgency. “And to explain.”

You crossed your arms, trying to maintain your composure. “Go on.”

Heeseung took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to say. “I didn’t mean what I said the other day,” he began, his voice filled with regret. “I was… scared, confused. This whole thing with us, it’s different, and it caught me off guard. I’ve spent so long thinking of you as my rival, as someone I needed to beat, that I didn’t know how to handle it when I started feeling… something more.”

His words hung in the air, and you felt your heart start to race. You had suspected, hoped even, that he might feel the same way, but hearing it out loud was a different matter entirely.

“So you pushed me away,” you said, your voice softer now, the hurt still evident but mixed with something else—understanding.

Heeseung nodded, his expression pained. “Yeah, and that was wrong. I’ve been an idiot, YN. The truth is, I’ve come to care about you—a lot. More than I ever thought I could. And the thought of messing that up scared me, so I tried to pretend like it didn’t matter, like we didn’t matter. But we do. You do.”

You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability that he was laying bare before you. Heeseung, who had always been so confident, so sure of himself, was now standing in front of you, admitting his fears and his feelings. It was a side of him you had never seen before, and it made your heart ache with both sadness and hope.

“You really hurt me, you know,” you said, your voice trembling as you let yourself acknowledge the pain he had caused.

“I know,” Heeseung replied, his voice filled with remorse. “And I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, YN. I want to be with you. Not as rivals, but as… something more. If you’ll give me another chance.”

There was a long pause as you stood there, processing his words. The anger and hurt you had been holding onto for days were slowly melting away, replaced by a warmth that you couldn’t ignore. Heeseung had hurt you, yes, but he was also the person who had challenged you, who had pushed you to be better, who had made you feel things you had never felt before. And as you looked into his eyes, you realized that you didn’t want to go back to the way things were. You wanted to move forward—with him.

Finally, you nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I think I’d like that,” you said, your voice soft but filled with hope.

Relief washed over Heeseung’s face, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Thank you,” he said, his voice filled with gratitude.

Before you could respond, he stepped forward and wrapped you in a tight, warm embrace. It was the first time he had ever hugged you, and it felt like everything had finally fallen into place. All the tension, all the rivalry, all the confusion—it all melted away in that moment, leaving only the two of you, standing together under the soft glow of the common room’s enchanted candles.

As you rested your head against his chest, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that whatever came next, you were ready to face it together. And as Heeseung held you close, you knew he felt the same.

DEVIL'S KNIGHTS' PREY (series masterlist)

PREVIEW: Halloween is approaching the next night, and your best friends have been imploring you to join them since they have been invited to an exclusive event that is known as 'The Devils Night' that is hosted by the fraternity of devil's knights. You know of them, including their corrupted fraternity, and you know better than to involve yourself with them after hearing unpleasant things about them from your peers. In fact, from the day you stepped foot into the university, you had been warned to steer clear of any of the devil's knights members, especially four certain individuals, and so you successfully did throughout those years, until now, because the moment you stepped foot into their territory, you have long since caught the attention of the devil's knights leaders.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), semi-college au, adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.

WARNINGS: indicated on respective parts.

TAGLIST: close

RUBY'S NOTE: this fic is inspired by the devil's night series by penelope douglas but with an entirely different plot. all feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated!

CREDITS: main top banner by @chaconnenha ! , hyung line solo banners by @hollyoongs !

SYNOPSIS: Final exams are approaching, and you have every intention to immerse yourself in studying for the next two weeks, but your best friends decide that it's a good idea to drag you out with them to attend an all-exclusive event called 'The Devil's Night' since it is Halloween week. Initially, you feel disgruntled and detested by such a social event, especially one that is hosted by specific delinquents, but eventually, you allow yourself to relax and enjoy the night. However, some of the invited guests, including you, have no notion of what the devil's knights' goal is for this year's Halloween. From the moment you begrudgingly agreed to go to the event, you were fucked because you had no idea what truly awaited you ─  you had no idea how your life would take a drastic turn, especially when you had become their prey.

➤ PART 1

SYNOPSIS: Jake Sim has got to be more bearable compared to the others. Unlike the rest of his club members, Jake is friendlier, making him an approachable figure. You recall when you got lost in the campus building during your second week of college in your first year, but Jake found you wandering like a lost puppy and was kind enough to guide you to the place you needed to go. Even after three years, his kindness is engraved in your mind.So, when Jake approaches you, you have little reason to suspect that he has an ill-intention towards you, especially when you have completely fallen for his trap. How can you not? With that charming grin on his handsome countenance and how he makes you comfortable enough to be yourself around him. It’s so easy to be with Jake. Little do you know that he is every bit corruptive like the rest of the knights.

➤ PART 2

SYNOPSIS: For some reason, Park Sunghoon utterly despises you ─ how you are the literal definition of a good girl who steers clear of troubles, how you remain loyal and abide by the rules, how you dress modestly, the fact that you're best friends with the popular girls who are his kind of girls, the way your eyes sparkle with your face being animated, and the dimples on your cheeks whenever you smile or laugh ─ you are every bit of a girl he has no desire to fuck.However, being naturally competitive even against his best friends, he is determined to be the one to break you, poison you with his corruptive ways, and change you for the worse.

➤ PART 3.1 | PART 3.2

SYNOPSIS: You have heard unpleasant things about Jay Park, one of which is his tendency towards violence, which brings you chills as you recall a student who nearly died because of him. You know better than to cross him, and so you ignore him whenever he attempts to speak to you or pesters you by throwing such crude remarks at you, because no matter how much you want to lash out at him, you worry that your words would greatly anger him.Little do you know that your silence and how you disregard his existence have long since angered him. So he decides to teach you a little lesson, making a different approach towards you and eventually you fall for his dark allure ─ one that has you on a delirious high, and yet you find yourself slowly breaking into pieces.

➤ PART 4

SYNOPSIS: You and Lee Heeseung are pursuing the same major, and the two of you have always been the top students in your cohort throughout your university years, with the only exception that his name is always above yours. Although you have never exactly interacted with him, sometimes you catch him staring at you, and the intensity of his gaze is enough to knock the breath out of you. After being heavily involved with his comrades, you should be staying away from him, you should be avoiding him at all costs, and yet, in your vulnerable state, including the lust clouding your better judgement, you fall for his dark allure, allowing him to breach through the walls that you built to protect yourself from them.

➤ PART 5

SYNOPSIS: The mystery behind whoever orchestrated the incident has yet to unravel, and the very same incident is the start of the palpable rift in your relationship with the four leaders. Things get gradually worse, and problems after problems keep piling up, especially having discovered a shocking revelation that causes you to develop mistrust towards them, but at the same time, you are caught in a dilemma where your mind and heart are in dissonance. In spite of it all, your heart still desires for them — the ones whom you have given your heart and soul to.

➤ PART 6.1

SYNOPSIS: Your heart and mind remain in an agonising dissonance, and this time, you choose rationality over what your heart desires most, even if it is slowly killing you. But you have underestimated their determination in luring you back to them, which leads to you rebelling against your initial resolution as you fail to resist your darkest temptation. So when the tension finally snaps, you find yourself back to square one, and this time, you fear that there is no way out to elude their intoxicating, dark allure once more.

➤ PART 6.2

SYNOPSIS: Just when you think that everything has fallen back into place as it was before, a twist of fate leads you to be thrown into a shocking revelation, one that results in the breach of trust once more, and this time, the damage is completely irreversible. Being broken beyond repair, you agreed to embark on a new journey for the sake of your sanity, burying the bittersweet yet painful memories in the wreckage of your mind. But perhaps there is another twist from fate that you won't be expecting in the midst of your new blissful journey.

➤ PART 6.3

SYNOPSIS: Embarking on a new journey was definitely the best decision you have ever made. Ever since your new life started out on the very place you have ever dreamed of visiting, which has now become your reality, everything works in your favour. But you can't deny the fact that deep down inside, you miss the ones who were a major part of your life. Just like that, the universe seems to favour you as you now find yourself in a predicament involving being chased by the very past you thought you had left for good.

➤ PART 7.1

➤ PART 7.2

➤ PART 7.3

SO SOAKED yang jungwon

nerdy ravenclaw!jungwon x popular slytherin!fem reader

A/N : this will be my first full fic ! I hope you enjoy &lt;;33

SYNOPSIS: All schools have their cliques right? Right. Whether they’re a public school in America or a Wizarding school in England, everybody has their place. You, fortunately, were the ‘it girl’ as some say, you could have anyone you wanted, and anyone who’s anyone wanted you. Accept him, Yang Jungwon, the only boy you’ve ever wanted since your first year, yet ironically, the only boy who’s never wanted you. 

EST WC: 10k

WARNINGS: SMUT (MDNI), alcohol use, unprotected sex (how silly of them!), Heeseung is a little sexually aggressive, slight slut shaming, drug use (only weed), semi- public sex, possessiveness, unrequited pinning, strangers to ???

TAGLIST (open): I will be checking all accounts for ages! ADD YOUR AGE TO YOUR BIO!!!

SO SOAKED PLAYLIST

Everybody at Hogwarts knew the name ‘Hwang y/n’, and if they didn’t? Well, clearly they’re due a trip to the infirmary. Ever since your first year at the infamous school you’d been in your brothers the spotlight, you’ve always been surrounded with ‘friends’ though you only truly trust a handful of them, most of them are pure meat riders… You’re not surprised that you’ve always been the centre of attention, being from one of the most prestigious families of the wizarding world, yet sometimes, only sometimes, you wished you weren’t so well know, weren’t always crowded with people, attempting to take advantage of you and your societal position. Of course, it came with its perks, you barely got into trouble at school, teachers were rather scared of your family’s not so subtle connection to the terrorising death eaters. You always got your way, no matter what, everyone did your bidding. And what you find to be the most enjoyable perk, the boys. Wherever you went within the school, a boy was always tailing you, trying to get into your pants none the less but who said that was a bad thing? How else would you have gotten yourself into this situation..?

Jake Sim, hogwarts golden boy, Grade A’s across the board, teachers pet if we’re being honest, currently leaning on his headboard, eyes lulled, lip between his bottom teeth to suppress his unholy noises as he watches you practically choke on his cock. Who would have thought the same boy who placed top of his class again last year would have a monster cock yet not know how to use it! Many people had deemed it impossible to sleep with Jake, he was always reserved and turned down anybodies advances, but impossible wasn’t in your vocabulary.

“f- fuck oh my god, Heeseung was right you do have a holy mouth,”

Your eyes snapped up at that comment, movements stilling, leading the boy to let out a groan, attempting to push your head further onto his cock.

“Come on yn, don’t be a kill joy, suck.”

That was what made you snap, pulling off of the now groaning boys dick,

“listen here Sim, I don’t know who you and your creepy friends think you are talking about me, but I’m leaving.”

You stormed out of the dorm, pulling on your sweater as you trudged down the cobblestone stairs to the ravenclaw common room, ignoring the boys protests calling after you. You stopped at the bottom of the stairs, fixing your hair as to make yourself presentable before being faced with Jakes roommates. You didn’t know who they were, you didn’t care either but you knew they’d be waiting to go into the room as it was 1AM yet Jake had wearily left a sock on the dorms door handle.

Fuck.

Out of all people he was the person you’d least like to see right now, of course one of Jake’s roommates would be Jungwon. You were trying to sleep with Jake to keep your mind off the boy who was currently staring at you doe eyed across the room. Jungwon, the only boy you’d ever truly been interested in, ever since first year you’d tried to make a move on him yet to no avail, he never seemed to have any interest in you at all! As the boy stared at you with a perplexed look you smiled, slightly biting your lip as to surpress your embarrassment, bowing as you made your way toward the door.

“Leaving so soon ynnie? Was hoping I could join you two later, get another taste hah,”

Heeseung voiced as he entered the common room, smirking, making his way towards you.

“Fuck you Heeseung,”

you snapped, not having the mental capacity to deal with his shit. You felt the tall boys hands find their way towards your hips, pulling you back to whisper into your ear.

“Come on yn! You’re such a slut I know you want another round with me hm?”

“Heeseung stop,”

you warned, eyes darting anywhere but the boy who watched your interaction with a slight frown. You watched from the corner of your eye, Jungwon leave his spot on the couch, ‘don’t go now!’ You silently begged as you felt Heeseungs hard on press firmly on your ass.

“Heeseung she clearly doesn’t want your crusty dick,”

You felt Jungwons soft hands pull you away from the, now irritated Heeseung, pushing you lightly out the dorms door, quietly following before leaning on the oak door. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you before he finally broke it, turning his body slightly towards you,

“Are you okay, yn?”

Just him saying your name made you want to drop to your knees and worship the ground he stood on,

“Yeah thanks won, also, I didn’t sleep with Jake you know,”

The boy smirked at you, raising his eyebrows and nodding slightly, clearly unconvinced,

“Sure you didn’t,”

You laughed shortly at his reaction before shifting your body closer to his,

“Really, I didn’t, I was going to sure but he was being a dick, it was pissing me off,”

Jungwons amused look stayed painted on his face, chuckling again before leaning back against the tall door. His head hung back against it, slightly turning to face you,

“Think that’s just dirty talk ynnie,”

You shook your head once more, assuring the boy that hes just a massive dick, pretending his nickname had no effect on you.

“You should go to your dorm, before Filch catches you,”

You nodded at the boy, pushing yourself up from your position leaning on the door, quietly bidding him goodbye before turning to walk back to your dorm,

“Night ynnie, sleep well,”

“Yn come on this is your chance!”

Karina repetitively tapped your arm, attempting to go and thank Jungwon for what happened at his dorm, trying to convince you that he’d definitely fold if you were all ‘my night in shining armour’ with him. No way that’d work, she did not know Jungwon, neither did you really but that’s beside the point. Yizhou had joined in now, shaking your arm as if it’d help convince you,

“If I go and talk to him, will you stop touching me,”

both girls pulled their arms up in record speed, nodding enthusiastically at your offer. You sighed, begrudgingly getting up though deep down your mind was circling with images of all the different reactions Jungwon could have to your comment. He was sat on his own in the great hall, head in his potions textbook, stirring a bowl of muesli with his finger, you didn’t realise he was so skilled in charms, or with his fingers,

“Hey won,”

You chimed, sitting down opposite him. His head moved up to look at you, eyes shortly following to look in your direction. Jungwon preferred you like this, with your uniform on, no cloak though, your hair was styled neatly, resting on your shoulders and your face hid a subtle rosy hue, you looked more like you, not like the act he swears you only drop when conversing with him, he wasn’t complaining,

“Hey yn, you okay?”

He sent a half smile your way, one hand holding his textbook open, the other still entertaining the bowl of oats and fruit that sat between the two of you,

“I just wanted to thank you for yesterday, I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t there,”

Jungwon smiled, sighing slightly as he watched you lean onto the table, one arm laying across the oak while the other curled around your hair, you tucked your lip underneath your teeth slightly, sending a smile his way, you could share you saw him swallow and poke his cheek with his tongue at your actions,

“It’s no problem, they’re my friends but I can admit they’re dicks,”

you nodded at the boy, slightly brushing his arm with the hand that lay across the table watching as he chuckled at your seemingly innocent action,

“Anything else yn?”

he questioned, wondering what else you could have up your sleeve,

“Was just wondering, is there anything I can do to thank you?”

There it is. Jungwon laughed, hand abandoning his breakfast to bring it to your face, tucking a loose hair behind your ear, relishing in how your face turned a pinkish colour at his touch, only he had that effect on you, only him,

“Ynnie, I’m not going to fuck you,”

Your eyes widened at the boys words, stumbling over your tongue in an attempt to justify your offer,

“NO- no I don’t mean- no like anything, some soju or something I don’t know,”

your voice got quieter the more you spoke to the boy, a blush now finding it’s way to your ears,

“You really wanna thank me?”

you nodded eagerly at the boys question, his hand still placed on your cheek. He pulled it away, bringing his attention back to his food,

“Stop failing transfiguration,”

You sighed, accepting defeat before pulling yourself up from the table,

“If you ever want your thank you, I’ll be here,”

you finally stated before scuttling away back to your table with your friends, probably telling them all about the interaction between the two of you, Jungwon revelled in the fact that you could have anyone you wanted in this school, yet you always wanted him, cute.

Anybody within the right mind hates potions, it truly was the worst subject. Could anybody really find sitting for an hour listening to Snape drone on about Dittany anything but excruciating? Jungwon could, clearly. The way he sat, looking at the professor with such intent made your heart swell. You’d always admired the way Jungwon was so serious about his schoolwork, you wished you could be as bright as him, but you had more important things to focus on! Him. Snapes voice brought you out of you daze, completely souring your mood,

“It has come to my attention that a few of my students are failing, and we cannot have that can we! Now if I call your name please take this into account, Nishimura Riki, Jeong Aran, Hong Eunchae, Song Eunseok, Lee Sohee, Yizhou Ning, and Hwang yn,”

You looked at the girl beside you, both grimacing at the fact you were failing yet another subject. Yizhou fell dramatically into your lap, groaning about how her dad would kill her, you pat her head reassuring her it’ll be fine, though you aren’t completely sure yourself,

“Right! Time for you to make your own Dittany potions, you know the drill partner up!”

You and Yizhou stood up, collecting your belongings before making your way towards a work bench. As you reached the workspace you heard a draining voice from behind you,

“No, no, no, no, no! You two are not working together again! Not after last time, and you’re both failing. Yizhou you work with Sunghoon, Yn you work with Heeseung,”

Your heart dropped at the boys name, Yizhou looking at you in surprise while trying to bargain with the stubborn professor. As Heeseung made his way towards you, his face dripping with arrogance, you just wished you could slap some reality into him.

“Well well well yn, we meet again! You know, I could help you not be such a failure, gonna have to work for it though,”

He smirked, voice laced with false charm. You declined his offer, obviously, going to collect everything needed for your potion while also attempting to spend as much time possible away from the draining boy.

Jungwon had noticed Heeseung and you from the minute he made his way over to your bench, warily watching the way you reacted to the boys snide remarks. As soon as you left to collect your ingredients, he took it as an opportunity to save you from the situation. Making his way to Heeseung, Jungwon attempted to justify why he was helping you so much, landing on the fact that it’d be fun to cockblock his big headed friend once more. “Hey man, would you mind if I work with yn instead? I really need to talk to her, it’s important,”

Heeseung grimiced yet complied, not wanting to argue with the stern faced boy. Letting out one last sigh, he collected his things and made his way over to Jungwons previous place next to Sunoo. As your figure made its way closer to the workbench Jungwon could swear he felt his heart beat quicker, it was just you? “Wonnie? What are you doing here?”

you questioned while wrongly arranging the supplies for your potion, not so accidentally brushing against Jungwon in the process,

“Just thought you wouldn’t want to work with Heeseung after, well you know,”

he admitted, turning away from you as to bask away his slight blush, what was wrong with him! It was just you. You moved closer to the boy, trapping him close to you by placing your hands on the counter either side of him, leaning impossibly closer to quietly mutter,

“That’s so thoughtful won! You’re just so nice hm?”

Jungwon chuckled, taking your hands into his before placing them onto your chest,

‘It doesn’t mean anything ynnie, I’m just not a dick!”

You nodded at the boy, eyes slightly widening with skeptic. The two of you worked on your potion until the end of lesson, conversing ever so often though Jungwon was not good at replying to you, completely focused on your concoction, maybe his studies sometimes got the best of him. As the bell rang, signalling the end off lesson, you turned once again toward the boy,

“Any plans for the weekend Wonnie? Will I see you at the dorm party?”

Jungwon chuckled again at your advances, nodding lightly before modelling your previous actions, trapping you between you and the counter, taking hold of the test tube rack behind of you,

“It’s either that or smoke weed for hours on end with Jay and Sunghoon so yeah, I’ll be there,”

You looked down, flustered at your close proximity as you felt the boy pull away and grab his bag before finally patting your head,

“See you later ynnie!”

“Oh my god ynnie, if you wear that he’ll for sure fuck you,”

Aeri was convinced that Jungwon would be tempted by you in the skimpy black dress, having slipped it into your decision making process a good 3 times so far.

“no he won’t! He’ll just think I’m a whore..”

Karina let out a chocked laugh at that, explaining that if he was going to think that of you, he already would having seen you in and out of his dorms a good 6 times this term. You groaned, sliding off of your bed onto the hard floor, letting your eyes close as you composed yourself to face Aeris’ menacing look once more. Finally opening your eyes you were caught off by Minjeongs face directly infront of yours,

“WEAR THE DRESS YN!”

your eyes widened at the outburst from the usually composed girl, damn this dress must be a horcrux or something?

“If Min approves of it then you have to yn,”

You sighed, finally giving into defeat as you snatched the dress from Aeri. As you made your way to the bathroom to get changed you warned the girls that if you don’t look good it’s all their fault.

-

“Oh my- if I were Jungwon I’d fuck you, that’s all I’m going to say,”

you giggled slightly at your friends heart eyed reactions, you had to give it to Aeri, the dress was gorgeous, it hugged your body in all the right places yet it still left a good amount to the imagination. The five of you sat doing your hair and makeup, one at a time getting changed and having dramatic reactions to one and other, Rina fell off her chair more than once….

“The party starts at 11 so get there 11:45? We cannot be the first to a griffindoor party, well probably be mauled!”

Yizhuo warned as you finished straightening her hair. Minjeong told her that she was being mean and that some Griffindoors were actually normal. You sometimes wondered how you became friends, being so different, yet you loved her all the same.

“Eugh! Why is the floor so sticky?”

The Griffindoor dorms were always your least favourite place to be, for some reason they all had some kind of weird hatred for you, you weren’t actually a deatheater yourself! You turned to Karina as she debated on which boy to go for tonight,

“Oh! What about him he’s so hot!”

you laughed at the girls reaction, you’d think she was choosing which lolly she wanted, not which dick. You told the girl who her chosen cock was, dragging her over in his direction,

“Hey Hao! Have you met my friend Karina?”

you smiled watching the two gravitate closer and closer to one another, another perk of being well known! You scan the room looking for Jungwon though he’s nowhere to be seen, maybe he was smoking pot with his friends after all. You felt a tug on your waist, hoping it would be won, it wasn’t.

“Hey yn, seems the universe just wants us together hey? You gonna lemme hit yet?”

You make a disgusted face at the boy, attempting to push him away. He tightly pulled you back towards him, tightly gripping your hips. He pulled you into him, pressing your head onto his shoulder while his hands stayed secure around your hips, one of them subtly moving to your ass. You rolled your eyes as you slightly entertained the boy, dancing with him though not liking the way his hands roamed your body. Heeseung brought his hands to your face, closing his eyes as he pushed his puckered lips to your persed ones. “Heeseung stop!”

you muffled, trying to push away from him though to no evail, the boy only kissed you further, pushing his tongue into your mouth with no rhythm at all.

“Fuck- stop resisting yn! Just fucking take it,”

As you were about to attempt to push the boy once more, you felt his presence get ripped from next to you. Heeseung groaned at the sight of his younger friend, knowing he was fucked.

“Come on man, just let me be!”

he pleaded, watching Jungwons stern look become impossibly more irritated. He took that as his sign to walk away, not stopping himself from slapping your butt as he passed you. After avoiding eye contact you finally looked into Jungwons eyes, yours filled with embarrassment and his worry with a hint of anger. “Sorry won,”

You mutter, stepping closer to him as you watched his eyes soften at your words,

“Yn, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s him who’s a dick,”

you nod lightly, expecting the boy to leave you after one final remark. As your eyes flicker to the ground between the two of you Jungwon took your silence as an invitation to take your hand into his, pulling you into an open area of the dorm. A small balcony, secluded from the rest of the party yet entirely exposed to the remainder of the castle.

You watched as Jungwon sat him self in the chair placed in the corner of the balcony, pulling out a cigarette, quickly lighting it before pulling it between his lips. You leaned yourself back on the railing of the terrace, your body turned towards the sitting boy. Jungwon noticed your stare quickly (he was looking at you too) and he brought his cigarette up to you as if to offer it, you shook your head lightly before turning to look out at the school grounds.

After a few minutes of silence you heard Jungwons cigarette drop to the floor, followed by his foot crushing any remaining ashes. The boy stood up and made his way over to you, placing his hands either side of you before leaning next to your ear,

“Are you okay now?”

you shuddered lightly at the feeling of his hot breath on your neck, leaving any hairs to stand on end,

“Yeah, I’m okay now, thanks wonnie,”

Jungwon felt his heart tighten, the way you said his name, turned to face him and sent your signature smile, it all made his heart flutter. The boy hummed as his hands made their way down your body, feeling the fabric of your dress while his eyes racked your figure,

“Like this,”

he muttered, his hands tugging lightly at the fabric that clung to your body, You smiled up a the boy, hand making its way to the back of his head, pulling it closer to yours,

“Why don’t you take it off then?”

that was all Jungwon needed, he immediately crashed his lips onto yours, teeth lightly nipping at your bottom lip, forcing your mouth open to rhythmically dance his tongue with yours. The boys hands found their way quickly underneath your dress, hooking his fingers on your panties, grazing his fingertips against your core before stilling his movements all together,

“You sure about this?” he questioned, panting while his knee pushed its way between your two legs, you harshly nodded, looking up at the boy. Jungwon sighed against you,

“Gotta use your words princess,”

You groaned as you begrudgingly chocked out a,

“P-please,”

Jungwon felt his cock grow even more at the sound of your soft yet hourse voice,

“Hmm please what?”

You groaned again at the boys teasing, bringing your hand to his hard on, rubbing him through his pants. Jungwons eyes widened as he unintentionally bucked his cock into your hand,

“Please, fuck me Jungwon,”

You tell him confidently, watching as the boys smirk fell again at the feeling of you palming him while pulling his pants down to a midpoint on his thigh.

“F-fuck yn!”

he breathed out, head falling and eyes rolling back as his mouth hung open, ever so often groans slipping out while you continued your actions. After some times of palming Jungwon through his boxers, you slowly fall to your knees infront of him, revelling in the way his eyes grew with anticipation. The two of you made eye contact as you painstakingly slowly pulled his underwear down to reveal his cock. Jungwon had to look away after some time,it was all getting to intense.

“Look at me,”

you ordered, snickering as you watched Jungwons trembling face meet yours, chest rising and falling as he tried to calm himself. You remained in eye contact with the boy as you started to place light kisses against his tip, tracing the veins up and down his shaft with your tongue. You felt jungwons hand creep around to grab at your chin, positioning your mouth at the tip of his dick, letting out a chocked,

“f-fuck, yn please just- fuck,”

You finally took his dick into your mouth, looking up at him through your eyelashes as his hand made its way to your hair, pushing you down on his cock, forcing a gag out of you which just made him buck into you harder. You continued to suck his cock, ever so often pulling away to fixate on his tip, spitting on it as his whines got bigger and higher,

“g-gonna cum, you gonna swallow it? be good for me yeah baby?”

you nodded against his cock, wetness growing between your thighs at the nickname. Jungwon pushed your head against his cock a few more times before finally letting out a low groan, shooting his load down your throat. You swallowed anything in your mouth, opening your mouth to show the boy who was still recovering from his intense orgasm. The boy pulled you to your feet, kissing you once again as he put his dick back inside his trousers,

“My friends will be wondering where I am, I’ll talk to you soon ynnie,”

you smiled at the boy, watching as he opened the patio door, quickly disappearing behind it. What had just happened? Had you seriously just given Yang Jungwon the suck of his life then let him disappear back to the party? Well, at least one thing was for certain, he owed you.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?”

Sunoo screamed at the top of his lungs,

“You’re telling me, that THE Hwang Yn just gave you the suck of a lifetime and instead of repaying the favour, you disappear into the fucking night?”

Jungwon looked that the boy, pulling the joint from between his lips. He smirked slightly before admitting,

“Yeah? I mean she’s always ogling me and I suppose she can put her mouth to good use?”

Jungwon stifled a laugh as the boys jaw dropped,

“You don’t understand how lucky you are Jungwon, yn doesn’t want people, people want her, she’s fucking obsessed with you!”

Jungwon shook his head at the older boys words, explaining that he’d rather focus on his studies rather than ‘some girl’. “Jungwon, she isn’t some girl! She’s like gold!”

jungwon rolled his eyes once more, inhaling another drag of the blunt between his lips,

“You seem to be fucking in love with her, you go after her if you want her so bad,”

Sunoo simply shook his head, laughing at the boys words before snatching the joint from his hand,

“I would if I could Won, she only wants you though, I’ll catch you later man, gonna go and see if i can find Riki,”

Jungwon waved his friend goodbye, tapping out the blunt and making his way back to his dorm, it didn’t mean anything between the two of you did it? Sunoo was being dramatic, you weren’t obsessed with him, just wanted to sleep with him, right?

4 days ago you gave Yang Jungwon a blowjob, yet he hasn’t ushered a word to you, nor has he even looked in your direction. You even made the effort to go up to him in the library, asking him if he was having a good day, yet the boy looked at you, rolled his eyes, and walked away. You were determined to make sure that you being on your knees for him was not your last interaction.

“Hi Sunghoon!” you called out, silently laughing at the way the boys eyes widened at your voice, he greeted you back, moving his studying materials out of your way as you sat on top of his table,

“So, you know the dorm parties each Friday?”

Sunghoon hummed in agreement, looking up at you with anticipation,

“Well, I was hoping you guys could host it this week! I feel like I haven’t been there in ages,”

you winked at the boy, hoping it would remind him of the time you spent together in his dorm. It did.

“Oh! Yeah sure ynnie, anything else?” you shook your head at the question, hoping off the table before winking at the boys flustered face and toddling back over to your waiting friends,

“bye hoonnie!”

As you walk through the ravenclaw dorms you feel Karina tug on your sleve,

“Ynnieeeee, come on he’s probably in his dorm come and have some funnn,”

you laugh slightly at the girls drunken state, waving her comment off as you continued to scan the room for him. You slightly registered Jisoo wandering away from you, probably towards some guy, not acknowledging it though as finally spotted Jungwon and his friends in the corner of the common room. You were about to go and talk to him when you realised, you gave him head? He should come to you, a real gentleman would be eager to return the favour!

-

As the night went on Jungwon was yet to approach you, he knew you were there, you’d made eye contact, he just wasn’t making the effort. You’d danced with a fair share of boys, though none of them interesting, sometimes looking over at Jungwon only to see him staring daggers into the back of the random ravenclaws head who happened to be letting his hands wander lower and lower before you pulled away. But when you looked over, the boy was already preoccupied with one of his friends, as if he didn’t just look like he could kill. You stood for a while, wondering if this was all worth it, if he was worth it, worth all of your time when he can’t even look at you on his own acord.

Suddenly a pair of hands found their way to your waist, turning you around to meet his eyes, his eyes. “Oh hello,” you contort, “finally came to talk to me?”

You watched as Jungwon stuttered, slightly taken back at your boldness,

“Well my friends told me to so,”

Oh. It wasn’t that he’d finally decided to talk to you, it was his friends. You know that you probably should push him away right now, tell him to just fuck off. But it’s Jungwon. “Well,” you mumble, draping your arms around his neck, “you still owe me wonnie!”

Jungwon smirked, he knew this was coming,

“Oh really? What exactly do I owe you hm?”

You smirked at the boys change in attitude, though it was whipped off of you face as you felt the boys hot breath against your neck, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and weed lingering off his person. Your breath hitched as he leaned into your ear,

“What do you want in return hm? Want me to fuck you? Want me to use my fingers? I always see you staring at them so it wouldn’t surprise me,”

you swallowed harshly and watched out the corner of you eye as Jungwons tongue peeked out and brushed against his lip,

“I- I don’t know,”

you muttered, sinking deeper into yourself as the boy let out a chuckle,

“You know, you act so bold yet as soon as I talk to you you crumble, so cute,”

you felt as the blush that had set itself on your cheeks the minute Jungwon approached you grew a darker shade as crimson, letting out a whine only loud enough for Jungwons ears at his teasing,

“Come on ynnie, just tell me what you want,”

Jungwons hands tightened their grip against your hips, pulling you impossibly closer towards him, hoping you could feel his cock against your stomach. Your eyes rolled back at the contact, head flopping down onto his shoulder,

“Just want you,”

You felt Jungwons deep chuckle down your ear and before you could comprehend you were being dragged up the dorms stairs into his room. As soon as the doors shut you felt Jungwons body pressed against yours, leaning on the door. His lips slowly traveled down your neck as he unbuttoned your shirt, stopping momentarily to suck harsh marks into your neck. As you let out a pathetic moan Jungwon peeled your shirt off your body, swallowing harshly at the sight of your lace-clad tits. “You’re so hot,”

He mumbled out, letting his lips find yours again before nipping at your lip, leading to you letting out a raspy moan. Jungwon took the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips, licking against your own as a mix of your saliva began dripping out of your mouths. Never had anyone made out with you so messily and it was going straight to your core. As Jungwons hands wandered to the zipper on your jeans your hands found the hem of his shirt, silently begging him to take it off so that you wouldn’t be the only person undressed. Jungwon pulled away to fling his shirt above his head and discard it across his shared dorm. You took the opportunity to shimmy down your jeans leaving you in your underwear only.

“Fuck,”

Jungwon breathed out, he knew you were attractive but under the dim blue lighting of his dorm you looked ethereal, no way you were real.

You felt as the impatient boy pulled you towards his bed, flopping against it before pulling you against him. You giggled slightly at his movements, shifting slightly to straddle the boy, leaving your hands on his chest.

“So,” he started, “Can I eat you out?”

You were taken aback, out of all of your hookups no boy had ever asked if he could eat you out, you’d always had to ask them or it didn’t happen. You looked back at Jungwon, heart softening at his glazed over eyes,

“You want to eat me out?”

Jungwon laughed lightly at your question, how could he not? You were beautiful how could you not taste like heaven?

“Yeah of course, do you want me to?”

you could hear the hesitation in his voice, indicating that he was really hoping you’d say yes, cute.

“Fuck yes please,”

The bewildered look on the boys face was quickly replaced by his signature smirk, guiding your hips up as he pulled down your panties, revealing your perfect pussy to him.

“Can you, um, can you sit on my face?”

oh my god. No way Yang Jungwon has just asked you to sit on his face? Why was he so perfect? No other boy had ever wanted you to do that, ever. You avoided his eyes before mumbling,

“I mean, no one’s ever asked me that and I don’t want to hurt you!”

Jungwons eyes widened, no one had.. what! He hooked his hands around your hips, pulling you until you were hovering above him. “Trust me,” he muttered, mesmerised by the way your folds were glistening, “you’re not going to hurt me baby,”

you let out a moan at the nickname, feeling Jungwon reach up and lick between your folds,

“So wet and I’ve barely done anything, sit.”

Your head leant back at the boys harsh words as you hesitantly sat until you could feel the boys breath against your core. Clearly though, that wasn’t enough as Jungwon pulled you down against his flat tongue moaning at the feeling of you against him. You instinctively grinded against the boys tongue, hand shooting towards his hair to tug and pull as you please.

Jungwons tongue plunged in and out of your cunt, relishing at the noises leaving your mouth. His nose bumped perfectly against your clit, letting you let out a moan of his name and a harsh pull on his locks. Jungwon let out a moan at your actions and let his hand wander to your free one, holding it firmly. The feeling of him moaning sent strong vibrations throughout your body, leaving you grasping at his hair again, pulling his hand to rest against your thigh. Jungwons movements sped up, frequently getting egged on by your moans of his name and tugs of his hair,

“Jungwon please, oh my-, gonna cum f- fuck!”

Jungwon moaned again at your words, actions speeding up as he brought his free hand around to rub quickly against your clit, feeling your cunt clench as a collection of spit and arousal spilt down his chin. You started fidgeting away from his mouth as your overwhelming orgasm approached, forcing Jungwon to abandon your clit and hand to pull your thighs firmly against his mouth. All it took was one final bump of his nose against your clit for you to be spazzaming around his tongue, cum dribbling down Jungwons chin and into his mouth. He licked against you a few more times before pulling you off his face, taking a few deep breaths before getting up to go to his sink, washing off his face. “Any good for your first time?”

he teased, giggling at your fucked out face, you nodded, still in post-orgasm bliss. You felt the bed beside you dip and Jungwon sat next to you, he pulled your face towards his before leaning close, placing a kiss on your lips,

“Still want me to fuck you?”

You let out a groan, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you clambered atop of the cocky boy. Jungwons eyes widened slightly at your boldness, his ring clad hands finding solace against your hips.

“Of course I do Wonnie, you know, since you made me cum so hard, why don’t you chose how you want to have me?”

you whispered the last part down his ear, making sure to send your hot breath his way in the meantime. Jungwon let out a deep chuckle, bringing his hand to your pussy, teasing at how wet you were again, the mix of your cum, arousal and his spit still lingering,

“How about, you ride me? Think you can do that baby?”

Before you could answer him, Jungwon was lying back against his headboard and leading your hands towards his zipper, he was painfully hard now, not ashamed to admit he very nearly came untouched at the mere taste of your pussy. You fumbled down his zipper, laughing slightly as he lifted his hips to pull down his pants. You shifted slightly so that you were sat directly on top of his bulge, both of you hissing at the feeling, to test the waters you grided slightly against him, though shocked when Jungwons cold hands stilled your movements,

“As much as I don’t want to stop you pretty, if you keep doing that I’m gonna calm before I’m even inside of you, need you now baby,”

You laughed once more at the boys desperation, lifting your hips to pull his boxers down and set his hard cock free from its confinements. Jungwon let out a hiss as the cold air hit his cock, mumbling again how he just wanted you. Not wanting to tease the boy any more you lifted your hips, positioned him at your entrance and sank down onto him. Jungwon let out a hiss at the feeling, eyes rolling backwards and jaw going slack,

“Oh my god- so fucking tight yn, if you keep sucking me in like that no way I’ll last long,”

you moaned at the boys confession, squeezing harshly around him just to hear him whine again. He was so fucking hot. You felt as Jungwons hands held your hips, pushing you up off of his cock before slamming you right back down again. The feeling of his cock dragging deliciously against your walls had the both of you groaning and whining. You continued the ministrations, bouncing up and down on his cock as he pulled you closer to him, pushing his lips hard against yours. “Fuck,”

you muttered against his lips, a burning feeling starting to creep into your thighs. As you continued bouncing on his cock you could feel your movements slowing, the burning of your thighs becoming too tired to continue,

“Jungwon, can’t do it- fuck- help please,”

Jungwon let out a deep groan, not warning you before flipping you over onto your back, keeping his cock nestled inside of you while hovering above you. Jungwons movements had stilled, his hand coming to pull your lips apart, he leaned closer to you, letting a glob of spit travel from his mouth to yours, you immediately swallowed it, letting out a moan at the feeling of his saliva dribbling down your throat. “Such a good fucking girl,”

he muttered, dragging his cock out of you until it was just the tip left inside. He lent down to kiss you before slamming into you, keeping a relentless pace as he pulled his face back to watch your face contort at his actions. “I- fuck fuck fuck fuck Jungwon I’m going to cum ohmygod,”

The boy laughed once more, his hand that had previously parted your lips, making its way down to your clit, as he continuously flicked your bud he relished in the way your cunt tightened against him, whining again as he felt his orgasm creep up on him. You reached your hands round to his back, scratching deeply as you felt Jungwon hit your g-spot one last time. You let out an outrageously loud moan as your orgasm came over you, the feeling of your cunt pulsating around his dick sent Jungwon into the same euphoric feeling as he shot his load deep into your cunt.

Jungwon kept thrusting into you shallowly, riding out your orgasms before pulling out and flopping on top of you.

“I- I should probably walk you back to your dorm, Jake’ll want to come to bed soon so, you get it,”

You nodded at his words saw the boy pushed himself off of you and went to grab a wet cloth, he cleaned off the two of you, pulling on a pair of his own underwear and pyjama pants before turning his attention to you. “You can wear some of my clothes, I don’t mind I just want you to be comfortable,”

you smiled softly at the boys words, nodding while sitting up and smiling at him. He helped you into some of his boxers, a pair of socks and a T-shirt that traveled below your knees. The boy pulled another shirt over his head before he mumbled,

“I’ll walk you back, who knows who’ll be wandering at this time of night, the parties well over but I’m guessing some people will still be looking to get off,”

You laughed slightly at his comment, nodding as you went to stand up. Much to your avail though as the minute you went to stand your legs felt as though they’d turned to jelly, you wobbled slightly before you tumbled back and hit his bed. (Sorry if this is a bit inaccurate, unfortunately I’ve never been fucked hard enough that i couldn’t walk :( ben take notes) Jungwon let out a soft chuckle at your actions,

“I really fucked you that good?”

you rolled your eyes at the boy, telling him that he shouldn’t get to cocky and that you were sure he was putting up a fight not to crumble onto the floor, you weren’t wrong. The boy disregarded your comment though, opting to turn so his back was facing you, prompting you to jump onto his back. You did you, wrapping your arms and legs around your torso while leaning your head against his shoulder. Jungwons hands clutched your thighs before trudging out of his door and down the stairs, choosing to ignore Jake’s high taunts.

Before you knew it you were at your dorms, you had told Jungwon that you’d be fine to go in on your own though he disagreed, opting to take you all the way to your dorms door. “I’m not gonna come in because, well, I don’t think 4 girls waking up to me glooming over the, would be a good luck,”

you laughed at the boy, leaning up to leave a kiss on his cheek.

“Good night Won,”

he leant down and kissed your temple,

“Good night Ynnie,”

“So you’re telling me, you fucked her and now you’re ignoring her? The fuck is your problem man?”

Jungwon knew that telling his friends would be a mistake, so he opted to tell Sunoo, trusting him to not tell the others… rookie mistake.

“No! I am not blanking her, she wanted to fuck and we did so? I’m not going to make the effort to talk to her when she got what she wanted.”

Jay rarely spoke during these group discussions, so when he let out a taunt and Jungwons idiocy the others took it and ran.

“Jungwon you’re supposed to be smart, she’s obsessed with you,”

the boy stood up abruptly and went to leave the great hall before turning swiftly and snapping,

“She is not obsessed with me.”

Why do they keep saying that? Why would you be obsessed with him? In all honesty Jungwon wished you were obsessed with him, but you obviously aren’t! You just wanted to fuck him to show you could have anyone you wanted right? Right. A part of Jungwon wishes he hadn’t slept with you, hadn’t helped prove that you really could have anyone you wanted, but the other half of him hasn’t been able to make himself cum since without thinking of your cunt.

-

Jungwon sat on his own at lunch, he was still angry about his friends comments, and he had a lot to revise, though his ‘subconscious’ sat him right where he could look at you across the room. His ‘subconscious’ also kept stealing glances at you, laughing silently at the way your nose scrunches when you eat something you don’t like and how your eye smiles create creases next to them when you laugh. As people began to finish their food the hall stared to clear, leaving about 20 students per table, also meaning Jungwons stares could no longer be hidden.

Once he’d finished his food Jungwon began packing his things, standing to go to his class before he was abruptly met by your face. “Hi won! How are you?”

Your hair was breaded today and you wore glasses, maybe you’d ran out of contacts. Your hands were adorned with rings and bracelets as they fidgeted with the hem of your skirt. Jungwon was pulled out of his trance when the way you said his name in a sing song way met his ears,

“You got what you wanted yn you can drop the act,”

he huffed out, walking to his herbology lesson. Your expression dropped as he walked away, did he really think that’s all you wanted? A good fuck? Maybe you were wrong about Jungwon, maybe he is just a dick.

“You should flirt with some guys infront of him, see if he’s really as unbothered as he says he is,”

Minjeong let out a laugh as the five of you walked to the Hufflepuff dorms,

“Rina that is so dumb, you’re not seriously considering that are you yn? Are you?”

You avoided her eyes before bursting into a laugh, explaining that as dumb as it was, Jungwon was a boy, and all boys get jealous! Also, 4 against 1?

“Good luck is all I’m going to say ynnie!”

She laughed as you all walked into the dorms, splitting off to mingle. You opting to walk around with Aeri,

“What about the new boy? If you were his first fuck you’d definitely have him wrapped around your finger,”

you chuckled in disbelief at the girls comment,

“You know Aeri, you make me sound like such a bitch….. but honestly real,”

You bid farewell to the girl before making your way towards the lost looking boy,

“Hey I’m yn! You’re new here right?”

the boys eyes widened at your presence, stuttering slightly before mumbling,

“Y- yeah I’m Jaehyun, Myung Jaehyun, it’s nice to meet you,”

you giggled at the boys nervousness, taking his hand into yours as you began to walk around the crowded room. As you made your way to the drinks table you poured a rather strong one for Jaehyun and yourself,

“Oh I uh, I don’t really drink,”

you furrowed your brows at his comment, bringing the solo cup to his hands,

“Come onnn, it’ll be fine it’s just a bit,”

You watched as Jaehyun eyes flickered between your eyes and the cup, and occasionally your boobs, he gulped slightly before taking the drink into his hands, swigging some back, groaning at the bitterness,

“See,” you clasped your hands, “it’s nice right?”

The boy chuckled, letting out a staggered,

“It’s alright,”

The two of you continued to wander around the room, talking about nothing in particular, and as you finished your drink you turned towards him, arms draping around his neck and his found solace on your hips. “You know,” you stared, “you’re really hot,”

the boys eyes widened, muttering out a thank you, letting his thumbs dip into the waistband of your low rise. “You’re really hot too, like really hot,”

you giggled at Jaehyuns shyness, letting your hand find his hair, pulling him closer towards you, one of his hands left your hip and made its way to guide your chin up towards his. You tilted your head slightly, making it easier for your faces to morph together, you felt his breath on your face as his lips ghosted over yours, finally pulling your lips onto hi-

“Yn,”

You both stop, faces turning towards the ominous voice, oh. When did he even get here?

“Yn can we talk?”

Jungwons face remained completely emotionless, bar from the occasional bite of the lip as his eyes stayed completely on you. “We’re kind of busy here man,”

Jaehyun grunted, clearly not appreciating the blatant cock block, Jungwons eyes met his instantly, raising his eyebrows with a smirk. You felt Jaehyuns hands immediately retract from you, muttering out a quiet, “guess I’ll just go then,” before quickly whisking away. Jungwons eyes met yours again, signalling his head away before walking in the direction of a corridor, prompting you to follow him. You did, obviously.

“You know Jungwon, you’ve got some nerve, this better be good!”

Jungwon immediately shut you off, lips pressing harshly against yours as he pushed you against the cobbled wall.

“F-fuck,” he mumbled through the kiss, “why were you trying to fuck him when I’m right her ?”

you laughed, pulling his face slightly away from yours, his cheeks in between your hand,

“Jungwon are you being for real? I tried to talk to you and you just insulted me and basically called me a slut!”

You watched as the boys Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes slightly widened,

“Yeah I uhh, I’m sorry about that my friends were just teasing me about you so, I’m sorry?”

Your heart hardened once more at his words, he’d told his friends? Like Heeseung had? Had they spoken about you like they had before?

“What do you mean teased you Jungwon? Did you seriously tell them?”

you dropped your hand from his face, stepping away from him, how could he do this to you? You were sure there was something different about him, that your heart knew something about him you didn’t and that’s why you were always so drawn to him. But no, of course not.

Jungwon stared back at you, mouth opening and closing yet no words coming out. Sighing you turned to leave and maybe clear your mind when Jungwon finally reached out and grabbed your hand,

“I didn’t tell them ynnie, I told Sunoo and his big mouth told the others, and I promise they weren’t talking bad about you, they were just saying I was lucky and that you were uh, that doesn’t matter, but I promise, it wasn’t like what Heeseung did, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jungwon stared into your eyes, thumb sweeping over the palm of your hand and he silently pled you to believe him. “Hmm, okay won,”

He smiled lightly, pulling you into hug him, hands finding solace on your back. You patted his back, feeling the air slightly thicken as his lips started pressing lightly down your neck. Your feet naturally carried themselves backwards until you felt the cold brick of the corridor on your exposed back. Jungwons kisses began to get harsher, hands weaving around to brush against your hips, attempting to pull you closer to him. “Jungwon we can’t, not here someone could walk down!”

you felt the boys movements still for a moment, clearly contemplating, before he grabbed your hand and pulled you harshly through the dorms and into the shitty one stall bathroom. You laughed in disbelief at where he’d taken you. The stall was lit by a harsh cool overhead light which accentuated the many badger wall hangings that graced the walls. The sink directly faced the toilet and the two of you could barely fit, having to hold your breath as not to touch the gross wall.

“Jungwon,” you started, “are you seriously going to fuck me in a one stall bathroom?” You laughed slightly at the situation, though it muffled out as Jungwons lips met yours again,

“Yeah,” his breath fanned against your neck as his hands rushed to unbutton your cropped shirt, “I’m seriously going to fuck you in a one stall bathroom, is there a problem?”

As he chuckled the last part he brushed his fingertips over your clothed nipple. You huffed and muttered a ‘n- no’ as Jungwon pulled your shirt off, letting it hit the floor. His hands danced down your body to quickly unbutton your jeans, his lips resuming against your aching body. As your pants hit the floor with a thud you pushed Jungwon away from you again. His eyes looked into yours in worry, searching for any signs of hesitation, though it was washed away when he felt your hands tugging at his jumper,

“I don’t want to be in just my underwear when your fully dressed Jungwon!” the boy laughed, kissing against your cheek before tugging his jumper over his head and disregarding it with your clothes. His lips pulled your attention back to him, biting your lip to grant him access to the rest of your mouth, his tongue licking against yours as your make-out turned messier by the minute. When your hands found the buttons of his shirt, Jungwon chuckled lightly. You were irritability groaning against him as the buttons just wouldn’t work with you. He pulled away from you, swiftly unbuttoning his shirt, all while giggling at your impatient tugs at his pants. As shirt dropped to the floor, Jungwons attention focused in on you once again. His hand pulled you into him, connecting your lips for the nth time thst night.

“Jungwon,” you mumbled onto his lips, “please!”

“Hm? Please what ynnie?”

You pathetically grinded against his leg, hands attempting to unbutton his jeans, accidentally hitting his ever-growing bulge. Jungwons breath hitched at the feeling, your fingertips on his clothed dick the last straw for him.

“Fuck,”

he muttered, his hands weaving around and hooking onto your thighs, he tapped against your ass, signaling for you to jump. You did, obviously, as a small yelp left your lips, the cool porcelain acting as a dramatic contrast to the heat overtaking your body as Jungwons movements became more desire filled. As Jungwons kisses traveled across your chest and neck you became more restless, wanting nothing more than to feel him, however he pleased.

“Fuck, I don’t have a condom, do you want to go back to my room?”

you shook your head against his shoulder, lust overtaking your conscience,

“I don’t care just please,”

you felt his hands find panties, fingertips grazing over the place you needed him most,

“Please what ynnie? I thought we’d established this hm? Use your words or you’re not getting anything,”

a low groan erupted from your chest at the boys tantalising,

“Please just fuck me Jungwon,”

Jungwon laughed into your ear, mumbling a “see how easy that way?”. You swatted away his smug grin, opting to push your leg between his thighs instead of putting up with his teasing.

“Hmm, you need me to prep you?”

He questioned, hand slipping into your panties, immediately shocked at the amount of wetness that soaked his fingers,

“clearly not, all this after a few kisses? You must want me bad baby?”

you whimpered again, begging him to stop his teasing. He complied, for once, hooking his fingers onto your panty line to tug them to the side, his fingers spread your entrance before slipping his fingers into your cunt. As he stretched you out on his hand, his other unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down just enough to pull out his dick.

“You sure about this?”

he questioned, all while rubbing his dick against your cunt, you groaned,

“yes I’m sure just fuck me Jungwon please!”

oh my god. Sure he’d fucked you once before but feeling you raw was a whole ‘nother level, sure it was a bad idea fucking you unprotected, and sure he would definitely regret it tomorrow, but oh my god. The way your eyes hit the back of your head as your nails clawed his back, the way you tightened around him with every stroke, and the way he watched hour tits bounce, still trapped in the confinement’s of your bra, made him feel like he could cum any minute.

“Jungwon oh my god, so- fuck- so big!”

you brought your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. As you felt his hand creep down to your clit you knew it was over for you,

“gonna cum Jungwon, can you cum with me- ah! Cum with me pleaseee,”

The boy chuckled, quickening his movements- the way you kept tightening around him, he was close too,

“keep doing what you’re doing baby I’ll cum with you okay?”

you simply moaned against his shoulder, kissing his neck hard enough you were sure to leave a mark. As you felt Jungwons toying on your clit quicken you knew the coil inside of you was about to snap, the way he was moving inside of you, the raw intimacy of it all, the heat your bodies were creating, the lewd wet noises coming from your cunt and he fucked you the best you ever had been, the sweat building up between your two bodies, the-

“oh my god,”

as you finaly let the coil inside of you snap, you felt Jungwon pull out quickly and release onto your stomach- plunging his fingers inside of your heat to ride you through your orgasm. As the two of you slowly caught your breaths Jungwon lent forward to whisper in your ear,

“Do you wanna hand out? Like, without my cock inside of you I mean? Like a date or something?”

you felt the heat creep back onto your cheeks, pulling away from him to look into his eyes

“Are you serious? Of course I would! It took you long enough to ask wonnie!”

the boy felt his heart start beating again as he lent in to kiss you with more passion than he had before, his hands wandering back around your body to grope your ass and pull you towards him. Just as your hand was about to grab his dick again you two were, rudely, interrupted,

“are you done in there I need a fucking piss?”

A/N : I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!! so much has happened since I started this fix holy moly 😰 ANYWAY I hope you all enjoy it and PULEASE like reblog follow and comment (comments are my fave) so ik what to improve on next time and what you liked Abt my writing!! 🫶🫶

DID YOU SEE THE NEW ABS PICS ONFNDBDBD 👹👹👹👹

YES! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?? WHAT ABOUT OUR SANITY???? DUDES GOT ME TWEAKING FRRRRRRR

I SWEAR BROS TOO HOT FOR THIS WORLD!!

LIKE WTFFFF??? AJDJSMAAKKSKSK

UNLUCKY GIRL SYNDROME ✦ PSH

SYNOPSIS. if it was possible to see the number of people who would fall in love with you over your lifetime, most people would agree to it in a heartbeat, but some might not. you don't get that choice, labelled by a mysterious system as someone destined to receive no love and threatened to fix this 'error' before it's too late. but who will be your saviour, the social pariah sunghoon, or the school's golden boy sim jaeyun?

CONTENT. f! reader, love triangle, grumpy x sunshine, serious topics (burnout, mental health, etc.), she fell first he fell harder, drama, comedy, slight angst

PLAYLIST. listen here... ! feel free to send in an ask with recommendations

NOTE. the love triangle is between you, jake, and sunghoon. which I KNOW a lot of people hate love triangles and tbh i don't love them, but the main reason i think a lot of people don't like them is the main character tends to lead the second lead on and refuses to make a choice. i don't think that happens here! and anyways, not to spoil... but i'm actually going to make this a three part series for each of the 02z so jake will get his happy ending!

++ special thanks to suki ( @fleurre ) for beta reading, you helped me SO much!

WORD COUNT. 16.7 k / 31.2 k

PART TWO. link at bottom, and also here!

when sunghoon thinks back on this moment months later, he’ll shudder in embarrassment at his behaviour. right now, he’s just a bit of an asshole: the kind of guy to see a cat stuck in a tree and simply continue walking.

sunghoon of course, knowns none of this. he’s musing about how much longer he has to spend in the building when a harsh shove jolts him back to reality from the haze his mind had ventured to.

he stumbles slightly, almost falling into a desk, ultimately regaining his balance easily thanks to years of being an ice skater. he levels a glare at the culprit responsible for nearly making him eat tile, raising an eyebrow at the boy’s lurching gait.

his attention remains on the boy, half curious about the boy and half excessively bored from waiting for class to start. the bustle and chatter of sunghoon’s fellow high schoolers serves only to irritate him as he sees the boy slump into his desk and settle his head down onto the worn wood.

must be tired. still doesn’t stop sunghoon from internally chastising him. idiot. as an athlete… as a former athlete, he’s long since hammered it in to have a hearty and enriched breakfast every single morning.

he’s just about to turn away when a moving figure- seemingly headed straight for the desk sunghoon’s attention has been invested in- enters his field of vision.

sunghoon holds back a sigh. it’s you. he knows you yes, but he doesn’t particularly like you. in fact, one might venture as far as to say that you irritate him. piss him off, even. the frown on his face only deepens when you dart a quick glance around the classroom to make sure no one’s paying attention, to which he quickly looks away.

only for his attention to return back to you soon after. sunghoon watches as you, upon a seemingly clear coast, pull a cold coffee can out of your backpack as well as a pastry. he snorts, what an awfully non nutritious breakfast. you seem to falter a little, hands moving carefully so as to not disrupt the boy’s rest. satisfied with your work, you head back to your seat. 

he’s noticed that you seem to be wholly friendless. which is odd, considering how you behave when no one’s looking. 

now here’s the thing. he doesn’t dislike you because of something you did or still do, well not in the way most people would expect. as horrendously unreasonable as it sounds even to himself, you just don’t make sense.

how could anyone be kind for no reason? he would see you around school just helping people out both without them knowing and receiving no benefit from it. who does that? the reason this bothers him is that it isn’t possible.

love is entirely transactional; this is something sunghoon has observed from the people around him as a child, and that had only been cemented in his circuit as a child prodigy.

people loved him when he was good at what he did. when he ate, slept, and breathed ice skating. they loved how he never missed a day at the rink, never scored lower than the podium at competitions.

fans would do so much for him, but it was all transactional. the second he faltered, made a mistake, stopped being perfect and faltered, so too did their love. when he lost his passion and washed up, so too did their support.

not just love but even kindness is given with the expectation of earning something in return. the fact that you don’t seem to have this motive is incredibly suspicious, and he doesn’t believe it for a second.

there has to be something you’re hiding, and while he might not care enough to set out and find it, he would take extreme pleasure in knowing he was right the whole time when the truth inevitably came out.

you pout as you watch the hustle and bustle of the classroom during your lunch period. you don’t have anyone to speak to, yes, but it isn’t really by choice. you had transferred here this year, only to be slightly taken aback by the cliquey and peculiar culture. your old school was very friendly, enough that your friends knew all about your slightly embarrassing hobby about writing romance stories online even without ever having dated anyone. they would be perhaps 5 out of the 8 likes you’d receive on chapters.

you have never had a problem making friends, but that was back home. this is here. here, the atmosphere is so rigid and chilly that you’d never think for a second about opening up to someone about your pastimes even if you did get friends. in fact, the loneliness had gotten to you so much that you stopped posting full stop, not feeling you understood human relations enough to write about them at all.

so you try helping people, for no reason in particular. it comes entirely naturally to be honest. it’s just that if you can’t make friends with people then this is how you can still be near people.

everyone craves human connection in one way or another, the only difference is if they allow themselves to do so.

now you just watch wistfully as gaggles of teenage boys yell boisterously and raucous laughter fills the air. girls sit with each other, leaning in to hear the hot gossip or simply about each other’s lives.

the sun streaming in through the large windows casts a golden shine over the scene, somehow causing you to feel nostalgic even as you are present in the moment. not to mention the aromas. it’s all you can do to not rob the boy sitting a few desks away from you of his lunch, also alone.

though, once your eyes reach him, they don’t leave. why does he look bored out of his mind? maybe he has no friends like you? actually, that’s highly unlikely. he probably does, they’re just in another class. man, with a face like that, it’s hard to believe people in this class aren’t clambering to hang out around him.

your eyes narrow slightly; considering the wide berth the other students give him, such isolation may be intentional. oh well, not your problem.

not your problem, because what you have to worry about right now is finding friends. it’s harder than it sounds. the noise around the classroom peters out and you settle further into your chair.

oh well. there’s always tomorrow to start making friends.

jake’s eyes are just about to close when the door to the storage room he’s found for himself whips open. great. just when he thought he could get some alone time away from the hordes of people vying for his attention.

now the model genuinely appreciates the dedication people seem to have in supporting him, but. but. there’s this stuffy feeling in his chest he gets whenever he thinks about it nowadays.

he doesn’t like thinking about it, so his solution is just that. don’t think about it.

but now, you’ve arrived into the room and he has a strong feeling his peace will get disrupted. 

jake holds his breath as you curse lightly after stumbling in and closing the door behind you. he feels like a field mouse trying to evade a bald eagle’s notice. in both cases it’s useless, of course.

you gasp, and he winces, trying to prepare himself for the ear-splitting shrieks that are surely soon to follow. and then inevitably a horde of excited teenage girls bustling in. so much for a peaceful lunch.

contrary to his expectations, however, your volume remains to be under 60 decibels as you open your mouth, “woah! i didn’t realize anyone else would be in here, sorry!”

jake raises his brows, slightly confused. don’t get him wrong, while he is indeed what you would call famous, he doesn’t expect everyone to love or even know who he is. he’s met many people who were indifferent to him or seemed to possibly dislike him.

it’s just, that had never happened here. now that he has started going to decelis academy, there hasn’t been a single moment he’s alone or unknown. and that’s, well, the nature of highschool. people would find out a model is attending their school and spread it to all of their friends, or that they had seen him in an ad. that kind of stuff.

so considering school would obviously be full of teen aged girls, whilst roaming decelis’ halls he had never encountered a face that lacked recognition the way yours did.

jake speaks cautiously, but still maintaining his friendly air, “that’s alright.”

you blink, somehow this boy is a little familiar, but you can’t pinpoint exactly where you’ve seen him… oh well, again, not your problem! it seems like he’s open to sharing the space with the way he hadn’t immediately shooed you out. you take a cursory glance around the room, noting a broken fountain drink bottle in the corner.

you step further in the room clearing your throat a bit, “so, do you mind if i stay here?”

right now you’re really not looking forward to going outside and facing everyone. hundreds of people, and none of them as lonely as you.

you don’t know how much longer you can take it, going to school every morning and having the hours crawl by painstakingly slow.

internally, jake assesses how likely you are to bother him and be invasive; taking in your frazzled appearance and rather nervous state, he decides you’re most likely hiding out here for reasons entirely unrelated to him.

he smiles warmly and nods, “sure, you should probably take a seat, though.”

say… you could try making friends with this boy sitting on the ground? sure, it might go awfully wrong and he’d be weirded out by you, but considering you’ve never seen him before now, what’s the likelihood you’d see him after?

so you square your shoulders, ignore the way this boy is incredibly handsome– enough to be a model even– and open your mouth.

“why are you hiding out here?”

the words strike the silent air like a whip and even you wince when they exit your mouth. the way you said it sounded just a tad confrontational and you can see an undecipherable emotion fill the boy’s face as his brows furrow and eyes narrow. before he can open his mouth however, you interrupt in an attempt to not sound accusatory.

“that sounded a bit odd, i just meant i’ve never seen anyone other than me eat alone.”

the boy raises his eyebrows, and slightly embarrassed, you speak yet again.

“not that i don’t have friends!”

you pause, before sighing and deflating.

“actually, why am i trying. i don’t.”

by now jake is thoroughly bewildered, this encounter being the furthest thing from what he expected when you had entered through the heavy metal door (speaking of which, how did you have the strength to whip it open anyways?)

the conversation is so out of left field that jake’s perfectly maintained filter slips for a moment, and he asks, “are you new here?”

you blink a few times before sighing, “yes… how’d you know?”

now there are a great number of things he can say at this moment, that it’s unlikely for you to have no friends unless you’re new, that he has never seen you around before, but what came out is more honest.

“you didn’t know me.”

“what?” you raise an eyebrow, immensely surprised at what this boy (you really should ask for a name so you don’t have to keep referring to him as boy in your head) has just said.

jake panics at his admittedly less than courteous words, so he fumbles slightly in hopes of covering them up.

“uh, i just mean, i’ve never seen you! i know a lot of people around the school, but i don’t think i’ve seen you around.”

he scratches his head sheepishly, hoping you take the gesture and words and think about them instead of the slightly arrogant sentence he had uttered prior.

you nod, definitely not forgetting what he had said just now, but accepting the words as valid reasoning.

jake is a bit nervous, this didn’t fit into his usual case of interacting with others. it never took him this much effort to engage in a conversation and get people to like him.

and yes, you need to like jake, because everyone likes jake. he’s that guy.

the model rakes his brain for something to say before realizing a big glaring point he has missed all along.

“what’s your name?” jake levels another friendly smile at you.

you stare at him, focused on analyzing his features and trying to figure out where you’ve seen him before when the words break you out of your reverie.

you’re quiet for a second, listening to the sound of laughter and cheer that seems to encompass free periods, before you answer him with your name.

jake nods, “i’m jake.”

you frown, a little perturbed, that name is so familiar too. you know there’s no way this is the first time you’ve seen that face paired up with that name, “do i know you?”

in turn, he raises his brows, a little surprised at the question.

“not that i’m aware of..?”

he’s in the middle of figuring out how to say he’s a model which may be where you’ve seen him without seeming conceited when you gasp.

“yes, i do!”

jake waits for you to gush over said modelling, only to be slightly surprised when he’s met with a slight glare and pout instead.

“when i first transferred here you ran into me and made me spill my drink all over myself! and then you just made me write my kakaopay and ran away!”

the boy’s jaw drops open, extremely surprised by what came out of your mouth.

. . .

he struggles to find the right words, but there seems to be none in this situation. especially because he does not remember the encounter at all. he’s a busy person who interacts with countless people every day, and there’s no way he’d remember a one-off incident like that.

especially because he seemed to be in a hurry at the time you met him.

“i’m… sorry...”

you raise a brow, “it’s alright, you paid for it anyway. why were you in such a rush though…?”

“i’m not sure,” jake murmurs, but you’re not done with your commentary.

“the most exciting thing going on that day was the math competition, and that’s saying something.”

jake’s eyes light up, remembering, “that’s where i was going then! the math contest.”

your eyes widen slightly, “oh, i wouldn’t have expected that.”

wait.. is this boy pouting? it seems to be a mix between a pout and a grimace. 

“why not.”

oh gosh, did you offend him? does it sound like you’re saying he doesn’t look smart?

you wave your hands around frantically, not wanting to be misconstrued, “i didn’t mean anything, it’s just–” 

you’re interrupted by a phone notification, and when you glance at your phone it elicits a gasp.

“would you look at the time, sorry, i gotta go!”

you get up and immediately head for the exit without waiting for a response. gosh, this is so embarrassing.

meanwhile jake, is still frozen on the floor, a little upset. you only see him as a pretty face (if you even saw that…) how typical. that's all he is to anyone else, of course.

you’ve always loved the walk home back from school. well, always is a little bit of an exaggeration considering you’ve only moved here a couple months ago.

still, you’ve been watching the leaves fill the trees and spring begin to roll in. your path home is full of life and ardour brimming in the trees and small animals. today is no different of course, you hum slightly as you trek through the journey.

you’re so lost in the tunes pumping through your earbuds that you almost miss the stark pink rectangle on the path in front of you. 

‘huh, that’s odd,’ you think as you bend down to examine it more closely, realizing the object is a flip phone with a bright pink plastic backing. now who in their right minds would leave a phone on the floor? although, it most likely slipped out and fell…

and on top of that, having a flip phone in this day and age is slightly bizarre considering how outdated it is. not wanting to block the pathway, you pick the phone up and settle onto the bench.

maybe if you go through the details, you’ll find some information on the owner so you can return it to them. as old as it is, having a phone is still essential for communicating with everyone in your life and you’re sure whoever this phone belonged to won’t be pleased to lose it.

you power on the phone to go through it, and you find yourself able to go to the home screen immediately.

huh. either the owner hadn’t set a pin, or this phone’s so old it lacks the ability to set one.

which is good for you! it makes it easier to find the owner. but when you open up the contacts and try to check the owner contact, there’s no other form of contact there.

you’re just about to open the email app when the phone receives a message! you panic slightly, almost dropping the phone, but ultimately you decide to ignore the message.

but that’s before your eyes focus on the contents, to which you gasp softly.

unknown number: hey you who’s looking at this phone right now.

should you answer it? it might be the owner trying to contact you… a little odd that they would assume someone has it with them, but they could just be peculiar. nothing that would stop you from trying to return this device to the rightful owner.

unknown number: psst… answer me

unknown number: i have something to tell you

you decide to ignore the bizarreness of the message and respond with a quick: 

you: hello, is this the owner of the phone?

not even 10 seconds pass by before you receive a response. 

unknown number: you could say that. but that’s not important.

unknown number: what’s important here is you, you’re really lonely, huh?

okay, now this is getting really weird. too uncomfortable even for you, who’s always willing to help. but you make one last attempt.

you: sorry, i’m just trying to return this to the owner. if you let me know a meeting place i can give this back to you.

a message pings the phone at the same time yours is sent, causing you to widen your eyes. it’s a photo of you on the bench with a mocking sentence attached.

unknown number: poor little miss y/n. no one’s ever loved her, have they? :(

okay, now this is really fucking creepy. and there’s no way you’re helping them with the phone now. your stomach churns with unease, brain running a mile a minute, and you realize this person is close enough to see you. meaning they most likely left their phone on the road to observe and text whoever picks it up.

like one of those social experiments. except a million times more absurd. whatever. not your problem. you quickly settle the phone on the bench, knowing the owner would eventually come to retrieve it, before continuing on the sidewalk.

it’s only a few paces later when you freeze in your steps and you start to hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

how the actual hell did they know your name? this no longer seems like a (debatably) innocent prank to you.

shivers crawl up your spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. suddenly the breeze and peaceful atmosphere don’t seem so nice and the path seems to stretch before you for miles.

just amazing, you curse the world out as you rush home, shoes pounding against the pavement at near breakneck speed.

shit. what the hell is going on?

you lock the door as fast as you can and lean your back against it, breaths coming out as harsh pants.

your mind as an absolute mess right now, severely freaked out by what just happened. you would think someone you know is pulling a messed up prank on you except you had left all your friends several kilometres behind when you moved away.

your hands are shaking even as you make your way to your bedroom and pace around the walkable space. an idea occurs to you and you desperately shoot towards where you had left your backpack.

maybe, without your notice, your mom has labelled your backpack or something, it’s highly unlikely but it’s looking to be your last hope.

knots tie themselves in your stomach as a cursory search of the bag shows it to be the plain thing you have always lugged to school. you sigh, opening the front pocket to get your phone as a natural response, but you freeze.

there, nestled comfortably alongside your phone, is the same pink flip phone you had left on the bench.

your hands tremble uncontrollably as you pick it up. you try to remember if there was an opportunity for anyone to stuff it into your bag, but there’s no way. you were running home at full speed, there was no way you wouldn’t have felt someone try and hold on to you long enough to unzip, insert, and then zip again.

something is wrong, and it’s really fucking with your head that you can’t think of a logical explanation to all of this.

sure enough, when you open the phone, another message has arrived.

unknown number: you didn’t really think you could run away, did you?

unknown number: awww i didn’t take you for a coward, y/n. although maybe that’s the reason no one can seem to love you.

unknown number: a pity.

you can’t decide whether to feel scared or angry, so you settle for a mix of both. it’s probably a good idea to try and find out more about this mystery sender, but that really isn’t something you feel like doing.

so you run back outside your house, bringing a dustpan, and smash the phone on the ground, cleaning up the mess to bring inside and throw out.

now if you see this stupid fucking phone again, it really would be a miracle.

thoughts of mystery senders and bright pink flip phones circle around your head as you get into bed that night, mind forgetting all about boys who spill drinks on you and boys that sit all alone at lunch, oddly isolated for some reason.

you have bigger things to worry about.

your homeroom teacher clearly doesn’t care about your bigger worries, you muse solemnly the next day with a sigh.

here you are, set to spend the next few weeks with the quiet and solitary boy in your class and saddled with extra work. you don’t entirely mind the extra work, but you have an inkling working with ‘park sunghoon’ won’t be fun.

this is what has happened. when you enter class in the morning, everything is going as usual. you haven’t seen that cursed phone again (thank god) and everyone seems to be going about their day perfectly fine.

then your teacher comes in, and begins to speak about a school wide event. she says that other schools are set to be invited, as well as a multitude of other things. all stuff you couldn’t care less about, and so you zone out.

that is, until the classroom goes pin drop silent and you realize maybe you should clock back in.

the teacher, it seems, is asking for volunteers?

“now, i know we have class representatives, but as they already have many other duties, i want to pick two new students for the roles of managing our class’s contribution to the event.”

still not very interesting, but you feign attentiveness. you can hear whispers all around you, people considering if the perks are worth giving up that much free time. ultimately, no one raises their hands for fear of looking eager.

instead, they wait for her to strike.

she calls on park sunghoon, curiously enough, “how would you like to help with the event, sunghoon?”

you can read people, so it’s very obvious a snarky reply might have made its way to his mouth, but you can almost see him swallow it back.

“okay,” he intones instead.

immediately, it’s as if someone has pressed a mute button. all of the potential interest in participating vanishes. you raise a brow, sunghoon seems to be a handsome guy, with no glaringly apparent personality issues, so why does it seem like absolutely no one wants to work with him?

is he a pariah, maybe? perhaps he had caused an incident before you had transferred to the school, and that caused their aversion.

nevertheless, whatever the reason is, interest in working on the school event has dropped into the negatives.

which, of course, means the teacher has to volunteer someone again. and of course, the lucky person has to be you.

“y/n,” the teacher starts, jolting you into attention, “would you like to work alongside sunghoon for the event? you’ll be able to make a lot of friends, and it might help in getting to know the school and its students better.”

you flinch in your seat, a flush settling in your body. this is so damn embarrassing. did she have to call you out like that in front of everyone?

“uh,” your voice cracks slightly and it’s all you can do to not dive under the desk and cry, “sure?”

it isn’t like you have much else of a choice, what with twenty-something pairs of eyes locked onto you expectantly. maybe if you do this they’d actually like you. if they don’t make fun of you for being so obviously friendless first, of course.

you’re still in an almost trancelike state when you and sunghoon are alone in the room with the teacher to receive more detailed instructions after class.

“you two will be in touch often in the upcoming month, so i suggest you exchange contact information, if you haven’t already.” she leaves with a final note.

so now it’s just the two of you. great.

you clear your throat awkwardly, “so, should we exchange numbers?”

the words are uttered with a friendly air as you try to not take his standoffish aura and appearance at face value. never judge a book by its cover, or whatever the saying is.

scratch that- did this bitch just roll his eyes at you? okay, wow, so maybe the other students are totally valid in giving his ass a fifteen foot berth.

“what else?” 

and man, it might seem like a given to him, but it isn’t for you? there’s no reason to be so rude to a complete stranger. especially since you haven’t wronged him.

… nothing that you can remember, at least.

you hum, still being civil, of course. 

“hmm, social media would work too.”

he levels you with an unimpressed gaze, “i don’t have social media.”

“o.. kay?” not entirely sure how to respond, you hand your phone over to insert his number.

he takes it, and you expect him to hand his phone over to do the same, but he doesn’t.

after around half a minute he just puts the cell phone back into your hands, already packing up to leave.

when he notices you standing there in place, not having moved an inch as he’s all but ready to go, he stares blankly at you.

“just text me so i get your number,” sunghoon mutters as he brushes past you.

wow. either you’ve done something wrong to him and forgotten about it (‘like jake did,’ you thought with a chuckle), or he’s just a grouchy person in general.

you’re leaning towards the second, because then it would also make sense why everyone avoids him.

sunghoon is in a very grumpy mood. sure, he wouldn’t go as far as to call you the bane of his existence but considering how often the corners of his mouth have pulled down into a frown in the past week, you might be close.

‘although,’ sunghoon muses, ‘it’s been getting better…’

most notably, despite your initial interaction and the following few being quite stilted, mostly courtesy of one standoffish park sunghoon, he’s noticed a sort of reluctant peace start to settle between the two of you.

from you, because annoyingly enough you don’t seem to have a mean bone in your body, and also from him because as much as you bother him, you intrigue him.

how are you possible?

and that’s where he is right now. sunghoon discreetly looks at you from his end of the storage room.

this week, the two of you are taking inventory of the school’s supplies in order to see what needs to be ordered. unfortunately, there are a lot of storage rooms across your school buildings. like, an unsettling amount.

the number causes an odd feeling to arise; considering there are so many, what are the odds that you would happen to stumble upon the one that contained jake? funny how things work out, isn’t it?

back to the point, you try to ignore sunghoon’s gaze digging into the back of your head as you rummage through the shelves on your side of the room and make notes on a clipboard.

eventually, though, it’s too much.

“what.” you force out before tracing back to suck any annoyance out of your tone, “i mean, is something the matter?”

sunghoon just stares at you cryptically, a slight smirk arising at your slip up. so you aren’t little miss perfect all of the time. funnily enough, this doesn’t sate him and instead he just grows more keen on seeing you lose your composure.

‘that’s right, you don’t like being nice all the time do you?’

before sunghoon can try and calculate what to say to irritate you, though, the words just slip out, “why are you so nice all the time?”

you raise an eyebrow, “am i?”

he gives you an unimpressed look, but doesn’t bother speaking so you continue.

“i don’t think i’m nice. i get really frustrated at people and i’m not always polite or courteous,” you ramble.

now this is interesting. sunghoon is downright flabbergasted, because what did you mean, you’re not nice? 

“i’ve seen you help people out all the time,” sunghoon blurts out, realizing in hindsight he’s exposed himself.

you nod at him, deciding to ignore the fact that apparently you have been getting observed for a considerable amount of time.

“okay, but i consider that basic human decency. kindness, if we’re stretching it.”

his forehead scrunches and you hate that the mannerism gets marked in your head as ‘adorable’ before you reel yourself back and remember he’s been… kind of a dick to you.

although, considering the way everyone avoids him… maybe he’s just kind of a dick in general?

you are pulled from your musing when sunghoon speaks after his extended silence, “what’s the difference?”

you let out a startled, “huh?”

sunghoon shakes his head, his state of utter bafflement temporarily draining the previous irritation out of him, “between kindness and niceness, what’s the difference?”

“well,” you struggle to find a way to put it into words, “being nice is like being polite to others and having manners, like saying please or thank you. being kind… i think it’s more about other people and treating them well. caring.”

when he’s silent, you continue, “you can be kind without being nice, and you can be nice without being kind. the latter… is pretty common, considering how often people want to use others for their own gain.”

a certain light of understanding enters the boy’s eyes and you believe he’s starting to see your point, but sunghoon’s next words prove that wrong.

“kindness doesn’t exist.”

your eyebrows shoot up. what in the world is this guy talking about?

“of course it does, maybe it’s hard to be kind to strangers, but i’m sure you’ve experienced kindness from those that care about you.”

a frown settles on his face, and it’s like all the openness to discussion he had started to gather has vanished in an instant. sunghoon is akin to an ice cold wall.

he turns away from you, back to the shelves on his side of the room, cleanly killing the conversation in a few gruff words, “let’s get back to work.”

you sigh, turning and following suit, before you almost tip the basket you’ve started to peak into at his next words.

they find your ears in a faint whisper, almost as if they had not meant to be said aloud, “if kindness exists, i’ve never felt it.”

the words bring an immeasurable ache into your heart, despite this being your first proper conversation with him.

sure, he’s rude and unnecessarily curt with you, but he hasn’t gone so far as to be unkind. everyone deserves to receive warmth, to be nurtured and cared for.

of course, you sure as hell aren’t going to be the one to try and nurture him, it really isn’t your job.

that still doesn’t stop you from feeling a note of sympathy and sadness for the boy as you continue your inventory.

sunghoon is in a very grumpy mood. sure, he wouldn’t go as far as to call you the bane of his existence but considering how often the corners of his mouth have pulled down into a frown in the past week, you might be close.

‘although,’ sunghoon muses, ‘it’s been getting better…’

most notably, despite your initial interaction and the following few being quite stilted, mostly courtesy of one standoffish park sunghoon, he’s noticed a sort of reluctant peace start to settle between the two of you.

from you, because annoyingly enough you don’t seem to have a mean bone in your body, and also from him because as much as you bother him, you intrigue him.

how are you possible?

and that’s where he is right now. sunghoon discreetly looks at you from his end of the storage room.

this week, the two of you are taking inventory of the school’s supplies in order to see what needs to be ordered. unfortunately, there are a lot of storage rooms across your school buildings. like, an unsettling amount.

the number causes an odd feeling to arise; considering there are so many, what are the odds that you would happen to stumble upon the one that contained jake? funny how things work out, isn’t it?

back to the point, you try to ignore sunghoon’s gaze digging into the back of your head as you rummage through the shelves on your side of the room and make notes on a clipboard.

eventually, though, it’s too much.

“what.” you force out before tracing back to suck any annoyance out of your tone, “i mean, is something the matter?”

sunghoon just stares at you cryptically, a slight smirk arising at your slip up. so you aren’t little miss perfect all of the time. funnily enough, this doesn’t sate him and instead he just grows more keen on seeing you lose your composure.

‘that’s right, you don’t like being nice all the time do you?’

before sunghoon can try and calculate what to say to irritate you, though, the words just slip out, “why are you so nice all the time?”

you raise an eyebrow, “am i?”

he gives you an unimpressed look, but doesn’t bother speaking so you continue.

“i don’t think i’m nice. i get really frustrated at people and i’m not always polite or courteous,” you ramble.

now this is interesting. sunghoon is downright flabbergasted, because what did you mean, you’re not nice? 

“i’ve seen you help people out all the time,” sunghoon blurts out, realizing in hindsight he’s exposed himself.

you nod at him, deciding to ignore the fact that apparently you have been getting observed for a considerable amount of time.

“okay, but i consider that basic human decency. kindness, if we’re stretching it.”

his forehead scrunches and you hate that the mannerism gets marked in your head as ‘adorable’ before you reel yourself back and remember he’s been… kind of a dick to you.

although, considering the way everyone avoids him… maybe he’s just kind of a dick in general?

you are pulled from your musing when sunghoon speaks after his extended silence, “what’s the difference?”

you let out a startled, “huh?”

sunghoon shakes his head, his state of utter bafflement temporarily draining the previous irritation out of him, “between kindness and niceness, what’s the difference?”

“well,” you struggle to find a way to put it into words, “being nice is like being polite to others and having manners, like saying please or thank you. being kind… i think it’s more about other people and treating them well. caring.”

when he’s silent, you continue, “you can be kind without being nice, and you can be nice without being kind. the latter… is pretty common, considering how often people want to use others for their own gain.”

a certain light of understanding enters the boy’s eyes and you believe he’s starting to see your point, but sunghoon’s next words prove that wrong.

“kindness doesn’t exist.”

your eyebrows shoot up. what in the world is this guy talking about?

“of course it does, maybe it’s hard to be kind to strangers, but i’m sure you’ve experienced kindness from those that care about you.”

a frown settles on his face, and it’s like all the openness to discussion he had started to gather has vanished in an instant. sunghoon is akin to an ice cold wall.

he turns away from you, back to the shelves on his side of the room, cleanly killing the conversation in a few gruff words, “let’s get back to work.”

you sigh, turning and following suit, before you almost tip the basket you’ve started to peak into at his next words.

they find your ears in a faint whisper, almost as if they had not meant to be said aloud, “if kindness exists, i’ve never felt it.”

the words bring an immeasurable ache into your heart, despite this being your first proper conversation with him.

sure, he’s rude and unnecessarily curt with you, but he hasn’t gone so far as to be unkind. everyone deserves to receive warmth, to be nurtured and cared for.

of course, you sure as hell aren’t going to be the one to try and nurture him, it really isn’t your job.

that still doesn’t stop you from feeling a note of sympathy and sadness for the boy as you continue your inventory.

finally. after a long hard day of, well, avoiding pushy fangirls and brown-nosers, jake has glimpsed some freedom.

he finds himself enjoying the breeze on a local park bench instead. it’s close enough to decelis that he still flinches every time he hears a high-pitched noise, but finding peace is not impossible.

especially when the park is full of families having fun and apparent couples lazing on the grass. it’s not often he gets to experience an atmosphere like this. not often that he’s allowed to pause and allow himself to feel the moment long enough to experience anything at all, actually.

it feels as if most of his time is spent in making connections, modelling, events and the time he does get to spend at school is used up dodging people who want to talk about said activities.

it’s downright exhausting, and it’s to the point jake considers dropping modelling several times a week. the issue, of course, is that he loves it. to him, it’s a form of art, especially when he can see all of the incredible content created from him. it’s like a part of him is permanently out there for people to know and experience and that’s just amazing to him.

an impasse. 

but enough rumination, right now is his time to truly feel peace and enjoy the ambiance the fresh air and trees provide.

that is, until someone goes crashing to the ground in front of him. 

jake did think that a block of pavement jutting at an angle from the previous would be an issue, but seeing the stray train of thought come to fruition is unfortunate.

what has just happened settles in, and jake scrambles off of the bench, mourning his peace only a little bit after taking in the familiar decelis girls’ uniform.

“oh my god, are you okay?” his hands hover hesitantly, twitching in the air uselessly in response to the girl’s groan filling the surroundings.

when you turn towards the boy to reassure him that ‘yeah, i just got my shit rocked in front of you, but i’m fine!’ you instead end up gasping when you notice who it is, “it’s you! coffee boy!”

jake is a little astonished, since when is he coffee boy? “hey! i have a name.”

you furrow your brow a bit, and he can’t tell if you’re trying to remember said name or that’s pain on your face.

“jake! right?”

he ignores the odd, new feeling of someone having to confirm his name instead of intuitively knowing it before he even says a word and nods, “and you’re y/n.”

he’s not sure if he would have remembered your name were it not for the way your last encounter with him went.

you nod enthusiastically, before frowning at the sting you feel on your knees. it seems the right one is slightly skinned. you frown, contemplating what you should do, still on the floor.

jake clears his throat, “you, uh, should probably do something about that.”

you raise an unimpressed brow, as if to say, ‘what, pray tell, should i do here in the middle of the park?’

but, not one to be discouraged, you reach into your bag, frowning and dumping one of the pockets contents onto the ground in search of what you need. you cheer slightly in triumph, grabbing the handkerchief around your skinned knee for now.

good enough until you get home.

you hear jake chuckle and fix your gaze back on him, confused as to what’s funny in the situation right now.

he smiles, pointing at an item from your backpack, “you’re still carrying a flip-phone around in this day and age?”

the blood evaporates out of your body. you don’t want it to be true, but as you follow his finger with bated breath, your heart stutters as your gaze lands on it.

it, being a bright. pink. flip-phone.

unbeknownst to you, jake frowns in confusion as he notices the drastic change in your demeanour. he remains dumbfounded as you flounder, shoving everything back in your backpack whilst completely ignoring the object.

he doesn’t even have the time to question you before you bolt away, leaving him and the flip phone.

jake’s unable to hold his curiosity back and he picks up the phone. he almost drops it at the message sitting on the home screen that greets him.

unknown number: hey, you’re not supposed to look at this! (¬_¬)

just what the hell is this? jake shrugs off the unnerving feeling and pockets the cell, deciding he’d give it to you eventually when you spoke again. although with the way you ran off, you didn’t seem too keen about it.

the model is utterly confused, but. oh well. he supposes being strange is one of your character traits.

unbeknownst to him, the phone would appear back in your backpack as soon as you arrive home.

jake would not find the flip phone later and would anxiously assume he lost it– or that you took it back without him knowing. 

the second thought would lead to a misunderstanding later down the line, but that is currently unimportant.

when you finally burst into your bedroom, you’re hyperventilating. a cacophony of frantic thoughts swim around in your head, trying to find some way, any way, to rationalize this. except there’s no rationalizing it.

while you have always been open to the supernatural, by no means are you a quote unquote believer, or anything near the like.

so this is way beyond your scope.

you pace around your room, trying to consider what options there are. clearly, unless you have a devout and incredibly skilled stalker there is no human possibility for the occurrences so far.

with the hypothesis that what’s haunting you is indeed supernatural, what are your possible courses of action?

well, telling someone definitely won’t work out, not to mention the fact that the only people you could possibly tell are your friends, several kilometres away, who are no doubt busy with their own lives. ignoring it has clearly been going well for you so far.

so your only option is to communicate with the mysterious being on the other side and find out exactly what they want. and then hope they leave you alone. how ideal.

you sigh as you dump your backpack on your bed, hoping the flip-phone won’t be amongst your belongings and also simultaneously knowing you aren’t that lucky.

lo and behold, there it is. who would have known such a small object was capable of causing such immense spite? you flick open the phone, bracing yourself for whatever jeering remark is sure to be awaiting you.

unknown number: long time no see, huh? did you miss me?

you roll your eyes and shoot out:

you: no.

the response is unnervingly quick.

unknown number: you hurt my feelings, love. although I suppose you wouldn’t know much about that, would you?

you furrow your brows, having absolutely no idea what the entity is talking about. but before you could even begin to compose a response, another message arrives.

unknown number: alright let's cut to the chase. you’re unlovable.

what. the. fuck. tormenting you constantly isn’t enough, it has to mock you for being perpetually single as well. frustrated, you message back:

you: what do you mean?

unknown number: oh you know exactly what i mean. has anyone ever liked you, a little playground crush, developed feelings? no, because you’re not destined for love.

you don’t believe a word of whatever bullshit this cell phone is spouting.

you: alright, whatever. what’s the big deal.

the next gap between messages is longer, intriguingly enough.

unknown number: you’re an anomaly. a bug. and you know what happens to errors, we get rid of them don’t we?

your brows shoot up, unable to contain the shock at genuinely being threatened.

unknown number: this phone gives you the ability to see how much romantic affection someone will receive in their life ^ - ^

unknown number: you have 0. most normal people have at least 10. crazy, huh? try it out, take a selfie. this phone’s camera shows and tells all.

you roll your eyes, incredibly annoyed. as if. there are so many issues with that statement that you can’t accredit to supernatural abilities. how would the phone have the power to see the future? unbelievable. 

which is precisely why you shut the phone off and toss it somewhere unknown in your room. you can't help the nagging feeling that it may not be the best idea, but what actual power does this phone have?

whatever entity talking to you could message you through the cell and seemingly return it to you endlessly, but you had reason to believe they needed to talk to you for some reason. it doesn't seem like a good idea to just give in and accept whatever it says thoughtlessly.

although there’s no doubt the phone would appear in your vicinity in a little while again and bother you until you open it, right now you just can’t be arsed to care.

what does it mean, ‘incapable of being loved,’ you hadn’t written romance on the internet to other teens for years to be told this. in fact, no doubt your (few) readers are patiently waiting after your final update several months ago. 

you reminisce on the succinct author’s note you had left at the time:

hey guys, i’m moving schools! i’m going to be busy for a few months, but to be entirely honest. i haven’t been feeling writing for a while. i feel like i don’t know how to write romance at all. maybe if i had a boyfriend lol. but yeah, i’ll see you when i get the inspiration or motivation to write again! love you guys.

you snort, what’s happening to you right now might be a perfect romance plot.

finally, the two of you have arrived at decelis again, deciding to split up after bussing together here ‘for efficiency’

as sunghoon walks away after saying his goodbye, a thought strikes you. although you despised that damn flip phone with a burning passion, you’re just too curious.

so you pull the flip phone out of your backpack and point the camera at his back, wondering to see what his number would be.

you almost drop the phone, because what the actual hell? why did a high-school boy have thousands of people destined to love him? well maybe he'll be famous in the future? but that couldn’t be, you narrow your eyes, sunghoon has already earned quite a bit of those points.

the label attached to sunghoon reads as:

87k/90k

so sunghoon is already famous? but why is he through so many hearts so early? you don’t get a chance to ponder on it further because you see sunghoon turn around in your camera.

shit, shit, shit.

you make a split second decision to pretend you’re taking a selfie, which should be believable given the fact that you’re standing in front of a flower bush.

you pray he’s unable to discern the fact that the camera in the flip phone hinge is currently rotated to the outside, not inside, and make a pouty face at the hinge to try and sell the fact.

soon enough sunghoon turns back around and you let out a sigh of relief, not noticing the smile that had been on his face whilst observing you. before your brief calm can last though, you get a message.

unknown number: believe me now? you can target anyone, but i recommend sim jaeyun.

hold on, hold on, the stupid phone’s moving too fast. you raise your eyebrows, choosing to ignore the first question in your response:

you: who the hell is that?

the phone’s response doesn’t help at all.

unknown number: oh that’s precious. he’s a model at your school. you can also target park sunghoon i guess.

your brows furrow, not liking the idea of using anyone like that.

you: what’s so special about those two?

by now you're pacing back and forth, the conversation causing a spike in anxiety.

unknown number: they’ve never loved anyone. meaning we have no data on them. who knows, you could be the lucky girl ^ - ^

you sigh.

you: what does that have anything to do with me? can’t you use your powers to fix this all?

the response back is incredibly infuriating.

unknown number: it’s out of my hands. there’s nothing as indomitable as the human spirit.

oh, this bitch.

you: but why me? couldn’t someone else do this, like one of the other anomalies idk..

it takes a few seconds to get anything back, but what you see chills you.

unknown number: because someone who can’t be loved has no place in this world.

you narrow your eyes, more infuriated than hurt.

you: why the fuck should i listen to you

it’s as though the air instantly intensifies and the world quiets around you.

unknown number: i’ll give you a reason. move back

you shoot out a quick:

you: what?

before immediately receiving back:

unknown number: now.

now usually this kind of command would irk you into stubbornly ignoring it, but a seriously dreadful feeling settles into your gut. instantly you scramble backwards, tripping into the flower bush.

and just as well because as soon as you do, a motorcycle zooms past, on the sidewalk, tearing into the sound barrier as it breaks record speeds.

your hands tremble and you stare wide eyed in front of you, not even able to comprehend what just happened at first.

you tend to get absorbed in tasks, yes, but there’s no way even you wouldn’t have been able to hear the engine of a motorcycle approaching.

the thought of what would have happened to you if you hadn’t moved chills you to the bone. or if the phone hadn’t decided to warn you, or if it chose a more severe threat. you shudder.

the message is clear: ‘i can get rid of you anytime i want.’

you sigh.

you: okay fine i'll figure it out you piece of shit.

you slam the flip phone shut, not giving the other side a chance to reply. huh, that’s really satisfying, maybe you should switch your actual phone to one of these for that effect.

you sigh in frustration, the happiness and satisfaction from finally getting to glimpse underneath sunghoon’s stoic exterior now completely gone. 

the phone’s words run around in your head, haunting you. there’s still no way you were going to manipulate someone into falling in love with you, but you have to figure something out, and fast.

something has to give, and you hope to hell it won’t be the ground underneath your feet.

you’ve been on edge ever since the motorcycle incident a few days ago, constantly paranoid that someone is following you or set to attack you.

it feels like every day is spent looking over your shoulder, and you are, which is probably why you bump into another student so hard, on the way to find a secluded corner to eat in. 

you feel their hands grasp the sides of your waist to balance you before you yelp and jump back, finally realizing who it is when you do.

“oh gosh, i’m so sorry.”

then, remembering your first encounter you laugh, “looks like i’m the one bumping into you now, huh?”

you expect to see a smile or chuckle in response from the usually genial guy, but instead you're met with jake’s expressionless countenance.

you raise your eyebrows, about to ask if everything is alright, but jake interrupts you.

“sorry, but can we talk?”

you’re flabbergasted at the chill permeating his words, but you nod immediately, sensing the mood shift to something more serious.

jake on the other hand is incredibly frustrated as he walks with a brisk pace to the closest storage closet (again, why are there so many?)

you follow, even more confused now that this is apparently a conversation that has to be done in private.

when you turn after shutting the door, jake looks like he doesn’t want to be here at all, which is hilarious because he’s the one who brought you here?

jake inhales deeply before speaking, “be honest, are you stalking me?”

“what?!” your jaw drops, not entirely believing those words actually came out of his mouth. the notion to you is downright insane, because why would you go around stalking jake of all people?

you shake your head, disturbed, “what are you talking about?”

“i keep seeing you around after that first time we met; it looks innocent and coincidental, but you could easily be staging this. not to mention the phone.”

you have no idea what the second part of your sentence means, so you focus on the first part.

“we’re in a high school? we’re probably just in the same place? dude, i promise i’m not following you around, hell i don’t know how you’ve been seeing me when i haven’t been seeing you.”

seeing his unconvinced expression, you continue, “look, while i think being good enough in something to compete is incredibly cool, why would i be stalking a mathlete? i hate math!”

jake looks at you like you have a few screws loose.

“why would you be stalking me?” he repeats incredulously.

you nod.

“i’m a model. if you’re going to pretend you’re not stalking me, at least have a believable defense.”

now this is just ridiculous, you roll your eyes. “yeah sure. and i’ve sold a million copies of a book.”

not done with berating this liar, you continue, “the only model i’ve heard of going to our school is sim jaeyun!”

while jake was initially dead set on confronting you before this turns out like last time, the situation has just gotten bizarre.

“i’m sim jaeyun.”

“what.”

“that’s me.”

you shake your head, feeling like you’re speaking to a child, “no, you’re jake.”

“yes. that’s my nickname,” jake for his part, also feels like he’s speaking to a child.

he snaps himself out of it, “okay fine, i get all that, but that doesn’t change the fact that you forgot that phone with me and i kept it to give it back to you, but all of a sudden it disappeared? i took it with me and then it disappeared. so either you tried to get it back, or someone else stole it.”

a chill runs through you; you know exactly why the flip phone disappeared from jake’s possession. but there’s no way to explain that without sounding absolutely insane.

so you lie.

“i don’t know man, i’ve never seen that phone in my life. i didn’t even know it was in my backpack, which is why i freaked out a bit.”

you shrug, hoping to sell it.

jake stares at you for over a minute, trying to read your expression and determine if you truly were innocent. he must see what he’s looking for, because he sighs, and his shoulders relax.

“sorry, that was a pretty serious accusation. i just, dealt with a similar situation before and i didn’t react quick enough back then and it had severe consequences.”

you shake your head, “all cool. your evidence was mildly incriminating at least.”

he nods, “yeah, but still…”

“i was wondering,” you hesitate, not sure if asking would be going too far, “why are you alone so much? last time i met you, you were eating alone here for no reason.”

and jake could lie. he could brush it off. he could put up a big smile and let this opportunity to open up pass like every other one that’s come his way. and for a split second he’s about to, but then.

jake sighs. It’s not like anyone would believe the world of an odd, bright-eyed girl over him anyways. so even if you did open your mouth and blab to everyone about your conversation, no harm done, right?

“everyone hangs around me because they have something to gain or they’re impressed by some superficial trait i possess. no one sees me. not for who i am.”

you raise a brow, “which is?”

he pauses, not having expected that question and not entirely having an answer, but his mind flicks to one of his biggest grievances. that everyone only saw a pretty face and underestimated his intelligence. constantly.

“... smart?”

you burst out laughing, prompting a flinch from the teenage model. jake frowns at you, sure he doesn’t expect you to understand that even someone like him can struggle, but this is a little cruel isn’t it?

he voices as much, “hey… i bare my heart out to you, and you laugh at me. i know there are worse things, but–”

you interrupt him with wide eyes, not wanting him to get the wrong idea, “no, sorry! it’s just, when you were talking about being seen, i wasn’t expecting you to name something that’s also superficial.

he adjusts against the metal shelf, pursing his lips. “what do you mean?”

“well, intelligence is also something you’re born with, no?”

jake rolls his eyes, surprising you with his increasingly lax demeanour, “that’s something stupid people say to excuse themselves from learning and improving.”

now this actually prompts some derision from you, coming out in the form of an incredulous snort.

“not quite. you can learn things and grow smarter, yes, but some people are gifted with a natural intelligence. i don’t know, it just doesn’t feel right to use that as a metric when it’s not that simple.”

jake hums, contemplating, “what qualities do you look for in people, then?”

“like,” you pause, “loyalty, passion, dedication, kindness, humour, empathy, patience.”

you take a deep breath to continue, but get interrupted by jake, who’s laughing a little.

“i think i get it, that’s interesting. i’ve never thought of it like that before, but… you’re right.”

you smile, a little smug at coming out of this conversation with the upper hand.

jake, in the meantime, runs over what you’ve just said in his head several times. none of the people he surrounds himself with have a nearly similar line of thinking, and it’s exhausting.

hearing from you that the qualities you’re born with are the ones that don’t matter is a breath of fresh air, and jake can’t go back to the smog after experiencing it.

“hang out with me?” jake blurts before he can think about it.

he stiffens immediately and he rushes to clarify, a little upset at himself for being like this.

“not. like, in a date way. i want to be friends.”

you just give him an odd look, “i didn’t think it would be romantic?”

and it’s a little hypocritical, but that mildly offends jake, because why not?

he pouts, “what, why not? are you too good for someone vain like me?”

you laugh and shake your head, “no, no that’s not it. no one’s ever seen me like that, i mean.”

maybe it’s more of the phone’s words ringing around in your head, yelling at you that you’re unlovable, but it’s not like the phone lied. no one has ever confessed to you, or pursued you romantically.

your mind flashes briefly to the boy who left his number for you, but you shoo the thought away. if he was really interested in you, why didn’t he just speak to you? it wasn’t like you had claws or anything scary.

deep in your musing, you don’t notice the dumbfounded expression on jake’s face. how in the world has no one had a crush on you before? sure, it’s not like jake does either, but he isn’t blind, or stupid.

you were kind and pretty. and probably a bunch of those other qualities you had listed earlier. before he can make any sort of response, the bell rings, startling the two of you.

you gasp, looking at jake with a stink-eye, “you took up my entire lunch?”

“sorry, i’ll make it up to you?” jake responds with a sheepish grin.

you shake your head lightheartedly and turn to leave, exasperated but clearly not upset. before you can turn the knob though you feel jake clasp your wrist.

“wait!” he clears his throat, “add my number? so we can talk. and stuff.”

ah, this is so awkward. it’s been so incredibly long since he has made friends authentically.

you smile and agree. your smile only drops abruptly much later, when you’re in your seat and you realize you’re doing exactly what the flip phone wants. guilt fills your stomach and the idea of any of the pair finding out and thinking this is the only reason you became friends almost kills you where you sit.

although unwillingly, you have made progress on target number one. good thing you don’t notice target number two’s intense stare, because it might have truly taken you out.

sunghoon listens patiently as you explain the intricacies of online books versus published books on your way to the weekly event-planning meeting with your teacher.

except, imagine his surprise when you arrive and instead of their teacher there, waiting to cover what they had accomplished in the past week, there’s a bunch of other students?

you stop speaking at the same time sunghoon freezes, also noting the odd situation. simultaneously, the two of you back out to check the room number again.

nope, it’s the right room. 

the two of you exchange a cautious glance before venturing to enter the room despite the students occupying it.

seemingly noticing the confusion apparent on both your faces, a boy with bright eyes who exudes a sort of feline air, (if that’s possible?!), speaks to you.

“are you two part of the event-planning committee?”

you nod gingerly, still feeling a bit like you’ve stepped into the twilight zone, “yes?”

the end of the word pitches up, coming across as a question rather than a response. the boy just smiles kindly.

“apparently, we’re having a monthly meeting with every class’s representatives,” he explains. 

you feel comfortable enough to lead sunghoon into sitting where the boy is, although there are three others clustered there, not really interested by newcomers. there are also other groups scattered around the empty classroom, but you don’t think inserting yourself in any of them would be a good idea, given that they hadn’t looked up in the least when you entered.

they nod at you when the two of you sit down, but leave the introductions to the boy who spoke. it doesn’t escape your notice that literally all of their gazes hang onto sunghoon for a bit before looking away.

you’re starting to believe there’s some kind of lore, for lack of better words, behind why sunghoon is mildly ostracised amongst the school and yet also has an incredibly high love count.

you tear your gaze away from the other boys, however, when the boy who greeted you speaks.

“i’m jungwon, this is sunoo, this is ni-ki, and this is heeseung,” jungwon gestures to each of the boys respectively, who do some sort of acknowledgement upon being mentioned.

“nice to meet you! i’m y/n,” you pause looking over to sunghoon, who looks like there about a million other places he’d rather be right now, “and this is sunghoon.”

you ignore the gnawing idea that they definitely know who sunghoon is and don’t look too keen on meeting him.

instead, you focus on the bright smile you receive from jungwon, “nice to meet you too, so i guess you’re a second year then?”

he’s most likely referring to the fact that you’re with sunghoon, but you respond without acknowledging it, “yes! i transferred here a couple months ago, though.”

jungwon nods, “makes sense why i haven’t seen you around then, ni-ki here is a transfer too!” 

he ruffles said boy’s hair while he says so, ignoring ni-ki’s yelp and complaining that he’s ruining his styled hair. ni-ki doesn’t retaliate though, too absorbed in whatever game he’s playing on his switch right now.

“so,” you attempt to speak casually, “what are we all waiting for?”

this time it’s sunoo, if you remember correctly, who pipes up, “the teacher who initiated this event!”

he continues with an eye-roll, “real classy of him to be running late after emphasizing how important being on time was.”

you smile, endeared by both of the boys' behaviour. it seems jungwon and his group of friends have a lot of personality. even heeseung, who looks to be on another plane of existence thanks to his zoning out.

ni-ki mutters a curse when he loses the level yet again, shoving the switch into heeseung’s chest petulantly, “fine, you can do it for me.”

heeseung just gives a smug smirk back as he gets to accomplishing what ni-ki was unable to do in your short time in the classroom. now that his attention is free, ni-ki finally gives the two of you a good look.

“so how’d you get drafted onto the committee, volunteered or voluntold?” he waggles his eyebrows slightly, and you smile at the clear attempt to be friendly.

you nudge sunghoon’s hand gently, trying to see if he’d like to answer, but when a second goes by, you speak up instead, not wanting the boy to go unanswered.

“voluntold,” you speak with faux dramatics, satisfied to hear a chuckle from heeseung even as he plays and smiles from the other boys.

“yeah, same,” sunoo mourns, pouting exaggeratedly.

you venture a questioning glance towards sunghoon, curious as to why he’s gone back into his shell. noting that the boys have become absorbed into a conversation that you are evidently welcome to join, but does not centre around you, you pull your phone out to send a message.

you: what’s up with you?

when sunghoon feels a buzz in his pocket, he glances at you curiously, putting the dots together. a small smile makes its home on his face when reading, before he responds.

park sunghoon: Contrary to what you might believe, I still don’t like hanging out with people

park sunghoon: This school is unkind

the kindness thing had sort of become an inside joke between the two of you by now, so you could recognize that he’s being playful, but at the same time an undercurrent of truth seemed to run behind it.

instead, you just send a quick response before visibly putting your phone away.

you: they seem nice though, just give it a try.

sunghoon doesn’t respond, knowing you wouldn’t see it anyway. he does, however, consider the suggestion. he’s entirely conflicted. you don’t know what he’s gone through before you transferred here. at the same time, none of these boys are involved with that incident. 

maybe you’re onto something.

for now though, he stays silent, content to watch you interact and bond with these people instead. even though he’s seen it before, your ease in human connection is truly something astonishing to witness.

it’s a gift not many have, to be able to recognize boundaries and communicate at a level that matches your conversation partner.

to your surprise, it’s heeseung who’s been relatively quiet compared to the younger boys until now who suggests exchanging social media. sunghoon raises a brow, but says nothing from where he’s leaning against a desk.

after you’ve given the boys your account, you’re about to perhaps try and suggest exchanging numbers as well so you could include sunghoon, but before you can say anything, a teacher walks in.

presumably the teacher sunoo had been shading earlier.

he talks about compiling everyone’s efforts so far, and so the next hour is spent basically catching up the entire committee on the progress each team has made towards the festival.

evidently, this does not go as well as expected, because the man listens to each recounting with a slight frown, noting that several teams had been exploring the same things and basically doing tasks that others had already done.

he shakes his head as he speaks, “this structure is very inefficient, we’re repeating work like this. instead, moving forward i’ll be dividing you into teams targeted towards different aspects.”

the teacher goes on to make several divisions, including accommodations towards different disabilities, vendors, decoration, entertainment, and the like.

he hesitates, seemingly making a choice between two equally conflicting options, “you can all choose your own groups, i suppose. based on the people here, each team will have five or six people.”

your eyes immediately find sunghoon’s, who’s done the same, before snapping to the other boys nearby after a few seconds. the agreement that you’d be a team seems to fall even without any words.

in the end, you go up with jungwon to write down all of your names under the ‘promotion’ task force. it seems the conflict you had earlier has been solved as, being a team, the six of you have to exchange numbers to make a group chat anyways.

you smile, beyond elated at the possibility of actually having friends, and not ones who behave strangely like sunghoon and jake.

more than that, though, is happiness at the possibility of sunghoon gaining more connections as well. maybe it’s not your place, but sometimes you look at sunghoon and you feel an immense aura of loneliness. 

and it would make you incredibly happy to see sunghoon happy, to see him learn that kindness isn’t so uncommon. because admittedly, at this point you are friends.

although you’ve started speaking to the other boys more after that fateful meeting, you had reckoned you’re more on the level of acquaintances.

apparently not, because during your wandering (jake had some shoot to go to, leaving you unable to have lunch with him) near the gardens outside, you caught their attention. hell, you didn’t even know they hung out here during lunch time, but you supposed it only made sense considering you had never seen them inside before.

you also hadn’t expected said observation to lead jungwon to calling you to them with a, “hey, y/n, over here!”

you look around in confusion, before pointing at yourself with confusion.

sunoo laughs, “no, the other y/n behind you.”

despite knowing it’s a sarcastic joke, you play along and whip your head to look behind you, and gasp loudly at a supposed second y/n.

a shy smile lights up your face when you hear laughter. so you are funny, you had started to think you had lost it with the way you had remained absolutely friendless for so long. 

you make your way over to the group, desperately hoping they won’t notice you’re alone.

of course, this doesn’t happen.

“where were you going?” ni-ki questions, not unkind, but curious.

you cough, a little embarrassed, “the single friend i’ve managed to make so far has other plans today, so i’ve been abandoned…”

heeseung raises a brow, “i think i saw sunghoon sitting alone by the west end entrance earlier though?”

you shake your head, a little embarrassed, “not him, we’re friends, but we’ve never really had lunch together because i don’t know if he wants to?”

jungwon nods with understanding, “he’s always been a bit of a lone wolf, i was surprised to see him so comfortable with you at the meeting.”

“comfortable?” you laugh a bit, thinking he’s making a joke, but no, the boy is serious.

“well, yeah, usually sunghoon’s in a bad mood.” 

he mutters an ‘understandably,’ but then raises his voice again, “but he seemed very calm and at peace. i don’t know.”

jungwon shrugs slightly, ending off with, “just my thoughts.”

sunoo watches the exchange with keen eyes, noting your demeanour and reaction to all of this.

he brings out a bright smile to speak, “anyway, forget that for now, sit with us! now heeseung won’t look like a creep hanging out with first years despite being a third year.”

heeseung yelps with indignation, “hey! if i recall correctly, ni-ki over here is the one who begged me to join you guys. i have third year friends too!”

ni-ki rushes to defend himself, “because you’re the captain of the basketball team! if they see me hanging out with you, they’ll think ‘oh, he used to be captain’s friend’ when we’re deciding the captain next year.”

heeseung shakes his head, “see, they just use you.”

you hold your hand out for a fist bump from the teen, laughing at the third year’s scandalized expression, “he’s just trying to be a nepo-baby. i don’t see an issue.”

jungwon laughs, “that’s not– well, i guess.”

you have an incredibly enjoyable lunch with the boys, sunoo making sure to let you know you’re always welcome to eat with them. they’d usually be out here, but if they aren’t you should shoot a text and they’d let you know where they are.

as he speaks, a chime comes from your backpack, and it’s all you can do to stop yourself from pulling the flip phone phone out and smashing it on the concrete.

you know it’s that stupid phone because yours is currently in your pocket. while you’re tempted to see whatever taunt the entity has left you now, you’re not keen on shooting your blood pressure through the roof.

so there it lies, in your backpack, ignored as you laugh along with the boys’ jokes and converse with them.

life at decelis is finally looking good.

despite the boys’ insistence that sunghoon seems to be comfortable with you, you can’t shake off the fear of bothering him.

sure, they think he looks like he enjoys being in your presence, but considering what you know about sunghoon, you’re unsure. which is why the next time jake’s unable to have lunch together (another photoshoot.) and you’re left alone, you hem and haw.

conflicted between sitting next to sunghoon or sending the boys a text like they had encouraged you to do, instead you end up doing neither and glare holes into sunghoon’s lunch.

unfortunately, as anyone would, sunghoon notices the intense gaze being levelled at him and catches your eye, startling you. he raises an eyebrow, both amused and exasperated by your focus.

you shake your head as sort of a ‘it’s nothing, disregard.’

of course, sunghoon doesn’t care and he gestures you over anyways. you sigh, well whether you like it or not the choice is made for you now.

you make your way over to sunghoon’s desk, trying hard not to focus on your fellow classmates’ curious eyes and whispers. yah, sunghoon is such a headache.

he doesn’t speak even when you arrive, staring at you until you pull a chair to sit across from him at his desk.

“so what was the laser focus for,” sunghoon’s tone seems to be teasing, but you can’t exactly discern if you’re right.

you mumble, “was wondering if we should use this time to speak,” and then you notice his blank stare and panic, backtracking a bit.

“i mean. about planning for the festival.”

“planning,” somehow sunghoon doesn’t seem convinced and you don’t want to figure out why that is.

you still don’t meet his eyes, “right.”

“without the rest of our team,” ah, there it is.

you nervously laugh it off though, “yeah, that’s why i was considering it, we’d have to find the others as well.”

you wonder how speaking to sunghoon had seemed so easy before, when now it felt like his eyes are capable of gazing uncomfortably deep into your soul. he looks around the classroom, noticing several people jerk their attention away after being caught, and rolls his eyes.

sunghoon gets up, which wow, you knew maybe you aren’t the best company, but that’s a tad rude?

to your surprise however, he looks expectantly at you when he’s standing.

“let’s go for a walk,” sunghoon finally says when it seems the brain waves he’s sending your way aren’t being received.

you nod dumbly, a little stunned as you follow him out of the classroom.

when you’re a good distance away and now roaming the sparse halls, sunghoon finally speaks.

“there were way too many people paying attention,” he sighs, “i’ll never understand the interest in other people’s business.”

you bite back the retort that it’s less other people’s business, and more his business they’re interested in, fearing this talkative (for him) mood sunghoon’s in will disappear.

and despite your initial reasoning that this interaction is for the event, you don’t bring up the planning at all, instead choosing to mention that your neighbours got a dog instead, and that it kept you up at night.

sunghoon’s eyes widen slightly at your choice of topic being completely unrelated to the festival, but he chooses to simply respond to what you’ve said instead.

and so you make rounds, talking about anything but the event. embarrassingly enough, you even spot your team members at one point, although sunghoon doesn’t notice them and it seems jungwon’s the only one who notices you, sunoo being in an animated discussion with ni-ki and heeseung being missing.

he smirks at the two of you, while you just narrow your eyes, daring him to say something. jungwon shakes his head and looks away, letting you off the hook for now, but definitely planning on bringing it up later.

well. that’s later you’s problem. for now you can relax and enjoy the rich timber of sunghoon’s voice along with the admittedly pleasant decelis atmosphere.

you guess its inherent clique-y-ness isn’t so bad once you actually have people to hang out with.

now that you have sunghoon to hang out with. you’ve spoken and interacted with sunghoon countless times over the past month, but this is the first time you feel that the circumstances with the event planning have nothing to do with it. like sunghoon actually enjoys your company.

so of course you have to open your big mouth and ruin that.

in an attempt to prolong the conversation, even as the toll of the bell looms closer, you say the following:

“by the way, did you know there’s a skating competition happening at the rink near decelis this weekend?”

immediately, it’s as if the vitality has been drained from sunghoon.

he freezes, then when you stop walking as well, he puts on a neutral expression but it looks wrong. forced.

“really? that’s… cool.”

you furrow your brows, “is something wrong?”

and wow, that’s something sunghoon’s wanted someone to care about for years. for just one person to look at park sunghoon and not see an ice skater, incapable of (forbidden from) messing up. for them to see a human being pushed to the brink, desperate to live up to the expectations.

just for someone to ask, even.

he chuckles sardonically, “no. yes. i don’t know.”

“do you want to… talk about it?” you venture tentatively.

sunghoon shakes his head, “no.”

but then he adds on after a few seconds, “not now at least.”

right before you’re set to enter the classroom, sunghoon grasps your shoulder and pulls you back gently to mutter. you stiffen, his mouth is way too close to your ear, it feels intimate.

“thank you for asking,” he pauses, “and caring.”

before you can compose a response, he lets go of your shoulder and brushes past you to rush inside.

you grasp at your ear robotically, eyes wide, and inexplicably flustered. you didn’t know why you felt so affected, but it’s a euphoric feeling.

after several last minute commitments and cancellations, it’s finally time for you to eat lunch with jake again. admittedly, while you want to get pissed off at the guy for blowing you off several times in a row, you can’t.

in your opinion, it’s understandable that he doesn’t have much time to dedicate outside of his literal job. although with how often he’s running off and missing school, you’re surprised it’s still legal.

aren’t there some child labour laws that should be getting enforced?

regardless, it’s been around a week since you’ve last seen jake, and you’re not ashamed to admit you’re excited to see him again.

you wait in yet another of decelis’ storage closets, this time you and jake actually planning to meet there instead of happening to meet or getting dragged there.

while you wait you decide to examine your surroundings with a bored gaze. nothing interesting, except for the fine film of dust coating everything and causing you to sneeze every five seconds.

it seems this closet is especially unused.

unfortunately, jake enters during a loud sneezing fit and it’s evident on his face that it’s all he can do to stop himself from bursting into laughter at your state. 

he shakes his head, amused, “i think we should probably go out to eat.”

“wait no, i’m fine! i just–” you interrupt yourself with a thunderous sneeze, “need to get used to it…”

this time the gaze he levels at you is deadpan, as sort of a ‘really…?’

but to save you from embarrassment, jake disregards the blatant lie, “it’s fine, i forgot to pack a lunch anyway. let’s go.”

you sigh, getting off the floor and only mildly cringing at the dirt that’s collected upon you during your stay in the space. maybe jake is on to something; you can only imagine how many diseases you’re possibly contracting.

“so, where were you thinking?” you ask curiously, struggling a bit to keep pace with jake’s speed.

if sunghoon is like the winter: cool, arid, and measured, jake is the summer: energetic, loud, and headlong.

you wonder what would happen if the two were to meet, a friendship for the ages, or an intense showdown? of the unstoppable force versus immovable object kind. you’re pondering who would be which when you’re pulled back to reality by a hand waving in front of your face.

“hellooo?” this doesn’t seem to be jake’s first time calling you.

you respond quickly, embarrassed, “yes, sorry?”

he snorts, “man, i thought you were just quiet because you were hungry, but you were on a whole other planet just now.”

any possible protest is cut off when you realize the two of you have actually arrived at some of the mom-and-pop restaurants that had set up near decelis, attracted by the hub of student activity and guaranteed customers.

you muse, “hmm, will we make it back in time?”

“doesn’t matter,” jake’s smile is something between mischievous and eager, “what’s one skipped class?”

you smack his arm slightly, “you of all people have no right to say that, you’ve probably attended what, six classes so far?”

when jake gasps in mock offense, claiming he’s not that bad, you give him an unimpressed stare.

“do you even know your teacher’s name?” you squint at the boy.

“of course, it’s…” jake flounders, before whining, “you gave me a hard one.”

“sure i did,” you roll your eyes, “have you chosen what you want to eat yet?”

jake’s responding silence tells you everything you need to know, his sheepish gaze meeting yours when you glance at him.

“what’s good here?” he ventures.

you shake your head, exasperated, “i bet you hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.”

“i heard their yangnyeom chicken slaps, though,” you add on, deciding to grant him mercy.

jake hums in acknowledgement, but he looks a bit… hesitant.

then it clicks, “wait, are you not allowed to eat stuff like that?”

he is a model after all…

seemingly caught, jake looks at you in surprise, before rushing to deny, “no! if it’s just once…”

you shake your head, “i was planning on just eating this later, but i had some bibimbap for lunch if you want to eat that?”

it would be considerably healthier after all.

and if you had any doubts earlier, the exhale of relief that jake lets out is enough to tell you that you made the right choice. 

(unfortunately you lose in another battle for paying for your food; although this time you genuinely feel you have no grounds as jake insists it's the least he can do after taking your lunch. touché.)

when you eventually receive your order and settle down at an outdoor picnic bench with jake, you pull out your tupperware, a pair of chopsticks, and a spoon to give to him while speaking.

“it’s really not my business, but are you okay with such a strict diet?”

jake shrugs, “it’s alright. it’s not like i never eat anything i want to, but sometimes it is frustrating.”

you look at him curiously, setting up your own food, “you like modelling in general, though?”

jake pauses, thinking it through thoroughly for the first time in a while, “... the verdict is still up. it can be very satisfying. and yet i can’t decide if it’s worth the sacrifices it comes with. this shit tastes so good by the way, did your mom make this?”

you laugh at the dichotomy between his dialogues, only laughing harder when jake sends a confused puppy-esque look your way. 

eventually upon calming down, you let him know, “actually, i made it. and by sacrifices do you mean like. missing out on school?”

jake’s jaw drops open slightly, “no way, you made this?”

you narrow your eyes, “what, you don’t think i can?”

he laughs, “no it’s just… you should open a restaurant or something. it tastes like home.”

the wistful light in his eyes leads you to believe you should probably leave the earlier line of questioning alone, so you don’t bring it up.

still, after a few moments of eating in quiet peace, jake speaks up, “it’s less school and more… i miss having friends. i used to be on the football team in middle school, and we would all goof around. i can’t get that anywhere now.”

“nowhere?”

he sighs, “you know, i meant it when i said people only see a pretty face, earlier. if guys aren’t pissed off at me because their crush likes me, they’re jealous that i get good grades. or some other inane bullshit.”

you consider his words, before speaking quietly, “i think you just have to find the right people.”

“believe me,” jake rests his cheek onto one of his palms, leaning an elbow on the table, “i’ve tried.”

and maybe it’s not your place, but you cautiously suggest, “actually, the friends i’ve made here have been nothing but kind and nonjudgmental.”

now jake is looking at you with suspicion, “you’ve only been here a couple months! and just a little bit ago you were saying you had no friends. zero.”

you roll your eyes, “well you don’t have to rub it in. and yeah, i probably don’t know the extent of their character, but sometimes you can just tell. the kindness someone shows you when they have absolutely no reason to, it sticks. and also i’ve been friends with one of them for over a month now!”

the boy mutters, “very impressive,” with sarcasm, but he seriously considers what you’re saying.

sure, you could be wrong, but the feeling you're describing is the same one he had about you. that ‘this is a good person, and i’ll remember them for the rest of my life.’

jake gives in, “alright, introduce me to your friends.”

CLICK ME TO CONTINUE READING

TAGS.

@ashtxrie @mioons @won4kiss @txnwvc @mygnolia @vivi-nin @laylasbunbunny @coqhee @boyfhee @sungbyhoon @viagumi @strxwbloody @dreamiestay @doublebunv @hoodiebangtan @lol6sposts @neos127 @capri-cuntz @junislqve @itulipy @woorcve

an eye for an eye — p.sh masterlist

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: revenge, angst, smut, fluff

synopsis: Sunghoon nurtured a profound animosity towards his childhood friend, Lee Heeseung, blaming him for his sister's death. To Sunghoon, his sister was the only person who had genuinely loved him, making Heeseung's perceived betrayal unforgivable. This deep resentment sparked an intense desire for revenge, driving Sunghoon to extreme measures to achieve it. But to what extent would he go to find satisfaction in his vengeance against Lee Heeseung? Would his plans unfold smoothly, or would everything take an unexpected turn, throwing his schemes into something he didn’t expect.

word count: around 19k

warnings: swearing, unprotected sex, kidnapping (kinda), possessive hoon, mentions of death, fake marriage, depression, fist fighting, bleeding, hoon has detachment issues.

— an eye for an eye: part 1 (7k)

— an eye for an eye: part 2 (8.1k)

— an eye for an eye: last part (4.2k)

The Sweetest Thing

All your life you’ve been your sisters’ punching bag. Never good enough. Never fully accepted. When your mother makes one of them choose you as her maid of honor you reluctantly agree. Semi-vacationing in Tuscany with your ‘beloved’ family, you meet two handsome strangers one night and let them do whatever they want with you. Too bad you didn’t ask for their names first.

Pairing: Heeseung x F!Reader x Sunghoon 

Genre: Strangers to ???, Porn with Plot

Warnings: CHEATING!!! reader is hooking up with her sisters’ fiancés, sisters are horrible and suck, mentions of past verbal abuse, reader is somewhat a pervert (she defo is), heeseung & sunghoon definitely are perverts, heeseung & sunghoon are mean, they have nothing good to say about their fiancés, alcohol consumption, adult content MDNI! smut warnings under the cut

Word Count: 9.2k 

a/n: and here it is!! my little box of filth. i wanna give a shoutout to @c-oupsie for hyping this up and telling me to keep going, ilysm!! and also @chwepen for beta-reading!! sending you smooches. <3 now everyone, please enjoy this sausage fest.

Taglist: @skzenhalove, @haelahoops, @deobitifull, @shiningnono, @jakeswifez, @slut4hee, @gyuhanniescarat, @branchrkive, @doublebunv, @capri-cuntz, @jaehyuniewifeu, @whateverhoon, @c-oupsie

Smut Warnings: threesome, dom!heeseung, dom!sunghoon, sub!reader, lowkey public sex, p in v sex, throat fucking, unprotected sex (be smarter than this pls!!!), degradation (usage of the words: whore, slut, filthy, stupid (only indirectly?)), praise, tit job, mc is described to have big tits, sunghoon can carry mc, manhandling, cum eating, cum play, shower sex, consensual sex taping, pls tell me if i missed any!!

Pastel colors are slowly but surely becoming your greatest enemy. You can’t count how many different patterns and matches you have seen on this day alone - and the preparations for this wedding have been going on for months. 

In all honesty, you didn’t even want to be here. As pretty as Tuscany is - this is the last place you want to be at right now. You would rather sit at home and play a game, would rather sleep in and not have your mother be all over you, pressuring you to do better in a job you never wanted in the first place. 

It is your sisters’ wedding. Yes, sisters’. They are both getting married at the same time, same place. Just the grooms are two different men (even though you wouldn’t put it past them to share a man for convenience). Men, you haven’t even met yet. Men, that your mother and sisters kept on swooning over. Look, it is no surprise your sisters got lucky in that department; They are extremely conventionally attractive and they love doing fun things like going out and spending money on things they really didn’t need. 

You grew up with them being six and seven years older than you, making them already inseparable when your mum decided to push another one out. Getting along with them sure as hell wasn’t an easy task, in fact it still isn't. It’s pretty clear you only got the job as Linda’s maid of honor because your mother threatened her to do so. There was probably a very heated rock, paper, scissors round going on between your sister dearests to decide who got to have you. 

And now you are here. In warm, beautiful Italy with yet another color scheme to look over and authorize. You surely didn’t sign up to suddenly become the wedding planner as well. 

“Yeah, that’s perfect, thanks,” you say to one of the florists who are just now setting up the arrangements for the rehearsal dinner happening tonight. 

It’s hot, so hot that you have to take shelter every ten minutes because of the fear of burning up. You don’t usually like to spend this much time outside - let alone in the scorching hot sun, so this is rather the change for you. 

When the florists leave to get another load of flowers, you decide to take this as the next round of shade and air conditioning inside the resort your sisters have chosen for their special day. 

It’s insanely beautiful. High ceilings, incredible murals on the wall, a big round table in the center of the entrance hall with a crystal vase on top, filled with flowers that would make the florist outside turn green in envy. 

The air inside immediately cools you down and you take the moment to sit down in one of the arm chairs in the lobby to calm yourself. Only a week. That’s all you need to survive. A week with your sisters and their fiancés, soon to be husbands and your and their families. Guests would arrive the night before the wedding and as soon as the reception was over - you could finally leave and hopefully not see your sisters for another year or so. 

“Ah, there you are.” You close your eyes for a second. 

“Shouldn’t you be outside?” Linda and Liza are standing in the lobby in their designer sun dresses, very obviously judging you for not being where they want you to be. 

“I just came in to escape the heat for a second, that’s all.” You explain as you open your eyes again. The two certainly don’t look happy. In fact, they roll their eyes and flick their perfect hair over their shoulders.

“Okay, well, time is up. If this wedding doesn’t go according to plan, it’s on you.”

“You don’t want us telling mum you don’t care about your big sisters, do you? She’d be so disappointed knowing you aren’t doing your job right.” 

Your fists almost immediately ball into fists. How many times have they been like this over the three days you’ve already been here? You honestly lost count. One week. Just one week.

“I was just about to go back outside, don’t worry.” 

Anger well hidden away, you stand up and present them with a fake smile, moving to go back outside. 

“Oh and, Y/N?” Linda’s voice feels like a ray of ice hitting you, “try to look a little bit more presentable when talking to our staff. We don’t want them to think we can’t actually afford being here.” 

Your sisters giggle happily all while you bite your tongue once more. One week. Stay calm. One. Week. 

Something about the Italian sky seems different. Maybe it’s because you’re not close to a big city, but the stars shine brighter than you’ve ever seen them. It feels like a movie; the stars and moon so visible with no cloud in sight, the small street of Arezzo you’re currently sitting in - a small restaurant with a small menu but a nice older man that speaks decent English. A glass of wine standing on the small table beside you and the first bit of peace you’ve felt in days. 

It’s when you take your next sip of wine you see them. 

Two men straight out of a magazine walking towards one of the free tables next to yours and sitting down. There is nothing you can do but stare. Both of them have dark hair, one of them a bit shorter than the other. They are dressed elegantly, designer shoes and pants, blazers hanging over their chairs. Even if you wanted to - you could not possibly say which one was more attractive. 

What a nice way to end a horrible day, you think. Smiling, you finish your glass and immediately order the next, not entirely used to drinking so much, but not caring since you are miles away from home and no one here knows you anyway. The waiter nods and then proceeds to go over to the newcomers. The one with the slightly lighter hair and the mole on his nose orders in perfect Italian, with just enough of an accent for you to know they aren’t from here. Your choice of table appears to be perfect for watching them, listening to them converse in a language you understand. 

And it all stays innocent like this - they talk about their flight and about friends - until suddenly the conversation sways.

“I honestly- fuck, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this, you know?” The one with shorter hair says and his friend sighs, taking his wine glass and finishing it in one go. Impressive. There was at least half left in yours. 

“I don’t know what to tell you. We committed and now we’re fucked.”

“Just that we aren’t getting actually fucked.”

They look at each other before they laugh, shaking their heads. Meanwhile, your ears perk up. 

“Fuck, I really don’t know the last time she let me hit it, Hoon. I think I’m going crazy.”

“Yeah, same here. Like, yeah, we fucked once the day before her flight. But literally only missionary and she didn’t suck me off.”

“Again? Dude, is she ever even putting her mouth on it?” 

“Nope. Ever since we got engaged she’s like this fucking prude. Is yours like that too?”

“Yeah. I got her flowers and her favorite chocolates and she still wouldn’t even jack me off, like fuck, if it’s gonna be like this forever I can just go cut my dick off.”

Jesus. These two seem to be in very happy relationships. Makes you almost feel better to not be in one. Even if your mother would beg to differ. She’s been desperate for you to find a match for ages. For whatever reason, really, considering her two golden girls were about to get married to rich and handsome heirs. 

“Just one good blowjob, man, that’s all I want, really. I miss getting some good fucking head.”

The way short hair looks at mole - with so much understanding and pity, you can’t help but chuckle. Chuckle loud enough for them to take notice. 

Their gazes burn on your face before you even see them. But when you do your smile dies and instead makes room for horror. They heard you laugh at them. Even worse, they know you’ve been listening. Shit. 

Thankfully, you are three glasses of delicious white wine in and the fourth one is almost empty. Which means you aren’t the sweet little wallflower you’d usually be. Scary, how alcohol can change people.

“Oh, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have eavesdropped.” You apologize, placing your hand over your heart. 

“Agreed.” Short hair says, his eyebrow raised. Now, with both of their eyes on you, it seems like they are even more attractive. Perfect faces with pretty eyes and soft looking hair. Handsome men in unhappy relationships that fail to give them what they need. It’s almost comical how the switch in your head turns over, how the persona you normally never let anyone see until you’re in a secluded space comes out and gives you the courage to speak your next words.

“I just couldn’t believe my ears,” you let your finger glide over the rim of your glass, eyes on the two men with your tongue slipping out to lick over your bottom lip, “how anyone would be opposed to having sex with you.” 

Oh.

Sunghoon and Heeseung’s ears perk up just like yours did earlier. Eyes widen slightly as they understand the innuendo in your words. 

They think about the same thing - the last time they took a girl together. Probably during senior year in college. Back then, they used to do that regularly. Having almost the identical type in women. Instead of having to let her choose, she’d get them both. 

But it’s been years since then. They are in committed relationships now, about to get married. And still - neither of them can deny that you fall right into their usual prey, or well, the prey they’d chosen back in college before their parents had picked out their wives for them. 

It’s the way you look at them, the way your eyes say so much more than your words. It is also the way both of them feel like they are 22 again with nothing but getting their dick wet on their minds. One thing about Heeseung and Sunghoon - they always worked perfectly in a pair. Back in college and now, too. They can almost read each other’s minds at this point, only a short exchange of looks needed to know neither of them gave a single fuck about anything right now.

“Want to sit down with us?” Sunghoon asks and points at the free chair opposite them. You smile. 

“It’d be my pleasure.”

The very small bathroom stall is crowded with three people, but you make it work. 

Sunghoon is holding your head in place, his cock buried so deep down your throat he’s seeing red. You’re perfect. The sweetest thing on the outside, and a filthy little whore behind closed doors. You literally begged him to thrust down your throat without paying you any mind. You wanted, no, needed him to use your throat, to act like you were nothing but his little fuck toy. And, shit, he was more than happy to do exactly as you asked. 

His hips are moving in rapid speed, his groans music to your ears. Drool is running down your chin and dripping onto your knees. He is not holding back, he is just doing whatever he wants with you and you are throbbing. Throbbing around Heeseungs fat cock that is fucking into you with no care in the world. 

Heeseung is sitting on the toilet seat, his hands on your hips, cock rapidly leaving and entering your sopping hole. His head is literally spinning at how fucking good you feel. He bets you’d also sound fucking perfect if only Sunghoon’s cock wasn’t in the way. He can tell by the way you are already squeaking around his best friend’s cock, how your pussy is continuing to spasm around him after you already came on his cock once before.

“Take it, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Heeseung breathes out, hips speeding up and your eyes roll back into your head, your body seemingly on fire. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been fucked this good by a strange or, in this case, two strangers. All you know is that you’ve already cum before and that Heeseung surely will get you over the edge another time. He’s thick and veiny and he fills you up so good there was nothing you could do but cum after only a minute of him fucking you like an animal. 

“Shit, look at you,” Sunghoon groans, one hand now wrapping around your throat, his eyes glossy as he stares down at you, still fucking down your abused throat, “you’re a perfect little fucktoy, aren’t you? Enjoy being used by two cocks, huh? Fuuuuuck, you’re gonna make me cum, fucking slut.”

Heesung feels you squeeze around his cock, feels the way you suck him in even deeper. 

“This filthy little thing likes when you talk to her like that, Hoonie. Squeezing my cock so fucking hard.” His head tips back and his mouth drops open as he focuses on his pleasure, already fantasizing about stuffing you with his cum. He moves his hands up, squeezing your perfect tits over your dress and you moan around Sunghoon’s cock, tears streaming down your face. Every touch, every thrust, every word is getting you closer to another high. With Heeseung’s hands on your breasts you can freely move your hips now, bouncing up and down on Heeseung’s cock, matching his thrusts perfectly. 

There is no chance Sunghoon will last much longer. Your mouth, your throat - he’s scared he already developed an addiction to them. Maybe it’s the long time he hasn’t experienced anything like this, but right now it feels like no throat has ever taken his cock so well before.

“Where should I cum, huh? Down your throat? On your pretty face?” Sunghoon groans, his cock twitching over and over before he finally pulls out, jerking himself off so you can answer the question. 

“Cum on her tits, look at those fucking perfect tits, bro.” Heeseung decides to answer for you and Sunghoon smirks as he watches Heeseung get your tits out of your dress for which you thankfully don’t need a bra. Your perfect tits bounce free now and Sunghoon nods, eyes glued to them and how they bounce now that Heeseung continues to fuck into you, your back now arched against him. 

“Fucking hell, such fat fucking tits,” Sunghoon is in a trance, mouth dropped as he jerks himself off with the help off your spit and his precum. 

“Tell him to cum on your tits, slut, come on, tell him how much you want his cum all over you,” Heeseung whispers into your ear, his cock still continuing to ram into your g-spot like it has never done anything else. 

You moan loudly, eyes flying open and Sunghoon almost doesn’t need you to say anything - your fucked out face could well be enough to make him cum. 

“Pl-please g-give me your cum, want it a-all over my tits, pl-please, need it so bad!” You cry out and Sunghoon feels his orgasm hit him, thick spurts of cum landing on your tits and neck, some even on your lips that you hungrily lick off of them, only making another spurt come out of Sunghoons cock. 

“Holy fucking hell, shit,” he groans, falling against the stall door, his chest heaving. 

Heeseung, meanwhile, grabs your hair and tilts your head back as he does his final thrusts, filling your pussy with his seed, white making you feel warm inside and tipping you over the edge, milking him for all he has with your own orgasm, high pitched moans escaping you as your toes curl and your hands grip the material of your dress. 

Once he’s done fucking both of you through your orgasms, Heeseung helps you up, his cock slipping out of you. You’re a little shaky on your legs and Sunghoon catches you before you can fall, his eyes immediately going to your tits that are covered in his cum. He licks his lips. 

“If we had more time I’d take you to my room and fuck those tits until they are covered in even more layers of my cum, baby.” He mumbles, one finger scooping up some of his release and shoving his finger in your mouth, watching in awe how you eagerly suck it clean. 

“Holy fuck, you’re perfect.” Heeseung has put his cock back into his pants, considering to get it back out just to have you lick it clean of your and his juices. He decides against it mainly because he knows there isn’t much time. He and Sunghoon have to get back to the hotel, their fiancés probably awaiting their return. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Sunghoon says, but you shake your head, only putting your tits back into your dress and stepping back into your panties.

“I wanna keep it for a bit, keepsake if you will.” 

Both men are silent. Where the fuck have you been before they got engaged to the sisters from hell? For a second they contemplate just keeping you. Using you for when their soon to be wives were being difficult again. 

Obviously, though, this was just a fantasy not meant for reality. 

Perhaps it’s well deserved. Having the worst morning all week, the day right after you fucked two strangers in a restaurant’s bathroom. Two engaged strangers. It’s not a surprise that you didn’t care about the blurred lines of their… relationship status, considering you’ve had quite a few hook-ups with married men who were out of town and needed someone to fulfill their needs while their perfect trophy wives were sitting at home waiting for them. Not the proudest thing you’ve done, but whatever gets you cumming. 

Today, your sisters seem to have it out for you especially. You blame it on the nerves, after all their perfect fiancées are about to arrive today. Everything needs to be in order, their dresses, their hair, their nails, everything. 

You’ve become their personal stylist, nail artist and hairdresser all for nothing more than a chuckle at the way your shirt rises up and shows your stomach that they love to comment on. It’s a win-win situation, for sure. 

“Can’t you see you’ve made a mistake!” Liza screeches, pointing at her (to your eyes) perfectly drawn eyeliner. You blink at her and take a deep breath. Six days. 

“I apologize.” Quickly, you move to fix your error, but your sister slaps your hand away and rips the pencil out of your hand.

“No, thank you. I’ll do it myself, like everything else, you useless piece of trash.”

Six. Days. 

Since there is no point in responding to her, you only nod and turn to Linda who is currently checking herself out in her hand mirror. 

“Anything I can do for you?” You ask, feeling ridiculous. One could think you’re their personal assistant and not their younger sister. 

“Just get out, Heeseung and Sunghoon are about to arrive and I don’t want them seeing you first thing, imagine their shock.”

Heeseung and Sunghoon. 

Something rings in your head. Had they ever mentioned their fiancés names before? Probably - why else would they be so familiar to you. 

“Alright. I’ll be by the pool then.” 

Neither of them deems it appropriate to even slightly acknowledge you before you leave the room.

A huge sigh leaves you the second you step out of Linda’s room and instead head for your own. Just a quick change into a bikini and down you go. A few hours in the sun, maybe a couple laps in the pool. Another bit of peace while your sisters are occupied. Sounds like the perfect morning to you. 

Just that, when you reach your room and change into said bikini - you notice a bruise right above your hip. Your eyes widen at the sight, moving closer to the mirror to inspect it. There is no other possible reason but what happened last night. 

“Shit,” you mumble, looking around your clothes for this one light pink scarf you could easily wrap around your hips as some sort of cover. The last thing you want is for your sisters to see this and ask questions. Bad enough you had the face and figure you had - imagine their outrage if one of these was even further damaged! 

For as long as you can remember your sisters had been your biggest haters. No matter what you did, if you changed your hair or your wardrobe, they’d be mean to you about it. To them, you were nothing but an unwanted addition to a family they had deemed already perfect. Neither of them had ever wanted another sibling, especially not six and seven years apart from them. Suddenly, you were the center of attention, had your mother cradling you and loving you and not giving them the attention they were sure they deserved. 

Even now, at their grown ages, about to get married, they couldn’t seem to get over it. 

From an outsider's perspective their lives were fairly more successful than yours. With great jobs in high positions, a perfect routine that included gym visits four times a week, and of course their perfect soon-to-be husbands. If it weren’t so frustrating it might have been funny how they literally kept them from you - kept everything from you. Blocked you from their socials to not be associated with you, living in their own little bubble, acting like you didn’t exist. 

So, expect your surprise when Linda called and asked you to be her maid of honor. You had only accepted because you know your mother would be devastated if you didn’t. 

That all seems like an okay trade for the view of the hotel pool right by the beach, your body rubbed in sunscreen and your sunglasses on top of your nose listening to music and enjoying your moments without a sister (or mother) around to tell you what to do. 

But your life wouldn’t be yours if your peace weren’t suddenly interrupted by the high pitched laugh of one of your sisters floating through the air and reaching your ears. It hadn’t even been half an hour. Maybe, you think, they won’t even come over. After all, they had hidden you away from them for as long as they had been together. Perhaps they wanted to wait til the day of the wedding next week to finally introduce you. 

Curiosity gets the best of you at last. Who are these men they’ve been gatekeeping from you, who have been nothing but your mother’s pride? Slowly, you turn into the direction of the high pitched laugh, opening your eyes behind your sunglasses. 

And the world around you seems to shake. 

“No fucking way,” you breathe out, moving quickly to get up. Panic arises within you, sheer ugly panic that has your body shaking. This can’t be true. This can’t be happening! You move to throw your phone and headphones onto the lounge chair, your eyes darting back and forth between here and your sister’s location, finally freeing yourself of all the things that can’t get wet to jump into the pool. It seemed like the only way not to get noticed by them. 

There are several other people in the pool and the splash of you jumping in had been drowned out by the sound of a child laughing and screaming. You stay underwater for a good while, thanking your strong lungs, and only come back up when you feel like enough time has passed for them to have left - only to be met by absolute horror. 

They had taken seats right next to your stuff. In their bathing suits from Chanel or Prada or whatever, they looked breathtaking. Not that they would ever get into the pool. It wasn’t them, though, who made your blood turn cold and the insides of your stomach threatening to say hello again - it was their fiancés. 

Short dark hair, beautiful faces. One with a mole on his nose. The other with clear shock in his eyes. 

The men from last night. 

As if to remind you further, you feel the bruise on your hip suddenly starting to throb with pain. You wince and look down, noticing your make-shift cover up being gone. Wonderful. 

Your sisters notice you now, their eyes widening when they see you in the state you’re in. Dripping with water, your hair pushed back out of your face, your body dressed in nothing but a flimsy bikini. They had always envied you for your breasts - not that they would ever admit this. But seeing them right now made them even angrier, after  all Heeseung and Sunghoon were right here and could see those monstrosities! 

And yeah, they see. See your body in that bikini that is leaving nothing to the imagination. See your tits almost falling out of the bikini top - tits that were covered in Sunghoon's cum not even 24 hours ago. They see your pretty face, your long eyelashes, droplets of water sliding down your soft skin. 

Heeseung and Sunghoon don’t realize the gravity of the situation yet, right now all they think about is how they’ve hit the jackpot because you’re in the same hotel as them. Right now, neither of them knows who you are besides the girl they’ve fucked the night before. 

“Y/N!” Liza screeches, “get out of that pool right now, you look ridiculous!” 

Linda gets up and grabs one of the towels next to her, throwing it into the Pool. She wants you to cover up, needs you to cover up. 

It is then that Sunghoon and Heeseung slowly understand. Your name. They have heard that name before. Time and time again. 

“Mum made me pick my ugly little sister as my maid of honor, Hoonie, can you believe her?” 

“Ugh, Y/N, called today. Wanted to congratulate us. Can you believe her? I bet she is so jealous, Hee, she could never get a man to stay. She’s just… too…. ew.”

You’re their sister. Their little sister they have nothing good to say about. 

You. The girl from last night. The girl who potentially could become the best fuck of both of their lives. 

If they had been able to, they would have looked at each other. But they are too mesmerized by you getting out of the pool with the towel wrapped around your body, or at least around your upper half. They can still easily see your legs, your perfect thighs, the little bikini bottom that does almost nothing to cover up your ass, can see the bruise that is a clear indication of what happened last night. It’s safe to say they are both growing harder in their trunks. Relatively bad timing. 

“Sorry, I told you I would be at the pool,” you mumble once you get out, grabbing for your stuff.

“I don’t think so, I would have remembered that!” Liza hisses, her arm sneaking around short hair. So, he must be Heeseung. Heeseung who had his cock buried inside of you mere hours ago and whose cum was most likely still inside of you. 

“Just go back upstairs,” Linda shoos you away with her hand and you let your eyes wander to mole next to her. Sunghoon, then. Sunghoon who had been craving a mouth around his cock, Sunghoon who had his cock in your mouth, who had cum all over your exposed tits. 

Your body heats up and you quickly turn around to leave. 

“It was nice to meet you!” Sunghoon calls after you and you swallow hard, not turning back to them before you leave. 

Dinner that night is horribly awkward, to say the least. The fact you’re even allowed to participate is insane. Your parents are delighted to welcome you once you sit down, your sisters and their fiancés showing up a little while after you. 

As it turns out, the two men had insisted you’d join them for dinner. Judging by the way they look at you, you feel like they’d rather have you be their dinner. 

Nothing could have prepared you for this. For the utter want you see in their faces, the utter want you feel in your bones. It makes all of dinner extremely awkward, makes you press your thighs together, shove around your food on the plate because suddenly your appetite is for something entirely different. 

But you know you can’t. The first time, so you tell yourself, was fine because you didn’t know who they were. You even go as far as to blame your sisters for this, after all they had never bothered to show you what Heeseung and Sunghoon look like. 

Now, it’s different. Now you know who they are. And as much as you despise your sister’s, you don’t think you could do this to them. 

… Or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Because the second you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and find yourself pressed against yet another stall door, you know you’ve been lying to yourself.

It’s Heeseung, his hands on your hips, digging into the bruise on your side, having you moan in no time.

“What are the fucking odds, hm?” He whispers, his breath hitting your face. You open your mouth to answer, but Heeseung dips forward, his tongue sliding into your open warmth, his lips pressing down on yours. It doesn’t matter what you thought of before, doesn’t matter who he is. Your body is taking over, melting against the strong man, against his chest and arms. 

Heeseung kisses you hungrily, like he has been starving for days. He had wrapped his hand around your wrist and yanked you into the one bathroom stall for men, had claimed you as his for the next few minutes.

“We-we can’t!” You cry out, pushing him away, but Heeseung only grabs you harder, turning you around, your chest hitting the door and a gasp escaping your mouth.

“If we can’t, why are you so fucking wet, baby?” His fingers are inside your cunt the next second and your eyes roll back, hips already chasing his touch. He smirks behind you, shoving your dress up with his free hand. Your backside is a sight to behold and he licks over his lips before landing a slap to your right ass cheek. You squeak. 

“I guess bathroom stalls are just our thing now, aren’t they?”

Just that this one is spacier. You’re pressed against the door that leads right into the open restaurant. You can hear the people outside, can hear the sound of cutlery meeting plates, of glasses clinking. 

“Hee-Heeseung, yo-you’re my sister’s fiancé!” You tried again, even though your hips were already bouncing on his fingers. Heeseung chuckled lowly.

“Don’t tell me now you care about the fact I’m in a relationship. It seemed like yesterday you couldn’t wait to get this taken cock shoved into your pussy.”

He’s not wrong. You bite down on your lip and turn slightly, looking over your shoulder into his dark eyes. God, he’s beautiful.

“Please,” you pout then, and his smirk comes back, his nimble fingers freeing his rock hard cock. You lean back against the door, your cheek pressed against the cold wood, your hands on either side of your head. Your pussy is dripping down his fingers and once he removes them, you’re already impatient to feel his huge cock fill you up.

Wiggling your hips, he lands another slap on your ass before shoving his cock into you, both of you groaning once he bottoms out. 

Then, he doesn’t show you any mercy. One of his hands sneaks around you, pressing down on your mouth to keep you quiet as he fucks you right into the door. He is panting, staring down at the way his cock slides in and out of you over and over again. His other hand fishes for his phone in his pocket, halting his thrusts for only a second to concentrate on opening the camera on the phone and hitting record. 

“Need to bring Hoonie something to jerk off to later,” he grins as he continues to fuck you, your moans getting numbed only by his hand. He just feels too good. Feels like no other cock you’ve had before. He’s big, wide and so god damn veiny. Every vein seems to drag along your walls, seems to push you closer to the edge. Your eyes are rolling back as your ass bounces off his hips, as his thrusts become sloppier with every second. He needs to cum soon and so do you. There isn’t much time for this, no time in fact. But he’s been craving you, and so has Sunghoon. Thank all the luck in the world for him to have won that rock, paper, scissors round. 

“God, you take it so well, you’re such a good little whore, aren’t you? All ready to go when I need to get my cock in you, fuck.” 

Heeseung’s words make your pussy spasm around him, his next groan deeper than before. He changes the angle slightly, fucking into you faster and harder, his orgasm getting closer with every little squeeze of your pussy. 

“Gonna cum so hard into your pussy, gonna have you sit at that table with my cum trickling into your panties.” He breathes into your ear and bites into your earlobe after, causing you to triple over the edge and cum hard around his cock - taking him right with you. 

He curses as he fucks both of you through your orgasms, his cum filling you up, warming you from the inside. 

Planting kisses on the back of your neck, Heeseung pulls out, watching his release drip out of you. 

“I could get used to this,” he says and puts your panties back into its rightful place. 

It doesn’t stop there. And it also doesn’t stop with Heeseung. But while Heeseung is more daring (coming to your hotel room at night, sending you pics of his dick after a shower, telling you to send him a voice note of you cumming), Sunghoon decided to take his time to make his move. You know it’s coming. You just don’t know when. 

Heeseung is like a wild animal - he can’t get enough of you. He wants to have his hands on you, his dick in you and his cum all over you as many times as he can. But the week only has seven days, and you only have four more to go until this whole thing is over and they are married to your sisters. 

Four days until you won’t be around them all the time, four days until Heeseung won’t be knocking on your door at two in the morning asking you to get on your knees. He fucks you like he owns you, like he knows your time is limited. It is, after all. He leaves marks where it is hard to spot them, kisses you in places no one has ever kissed before. 

Yes, the nights with Heeseung are special and steamy and perfect - and yet you wonder where Sunghoon is in all of this. You see the way he looks at you, and you did get a dick pic from him the night you and Heeseung fucked at that first dinner, courtesy to him seeing the video Heeseung took of you. And that is the thing, Heeseung films you. He films you when you’re on top of him, when he’s behind you, when you got his cock down your throat, when you’re bouncing up and down his cock. All of it goes straight to Sunghoon, all of it leads to Sunghoon cumming all over himself in the bathroom and sending you a picture of it. He never leaves his room, though, never does anything about it.

It’s day minus three til the wedding and you’re at the beach with everyone. The other maid of honor has arrived, and so have the two best men. Jake and Jay, they had introduced themselves as and judging by the way they were looking at you… they knew exactly who you were. If you weren’t so busy with Heeseung, you’d gladly have slipped into one of their rooms at night. 

You’re laying on your towel, happy to have everyone around you be busy with something that isn’t you. Your book is in your hands, the words getting more and more raunchy, your thighs pressing together. Perhaps this isn’t the best place to read smut, but it’s not like you have any control over when these scenes happen in the book. You just know every word hits you deep and has you biting down your lip. Even with the soreness still left between your legs from last night's visit, you feel yourself growing wetter with every sentence. 

“In broad daylight, sweetheart, really?” 

The voice makes you flinch, your book flipping closed as you turn around, spotting Sunghoon standing right above you. He is wearing a slight smirk on his lips and you feel your cheeks heat up. Not just because he caught you with your book but because he’s standing there in nothing but his trunks, a cup of iced coffee in his slim hand. His chest is defined, so are his abs. His arms look strong, toned, like they could throw you against a wall and hold you there. You swallow the lust that is daring to come up.

“What do you want?” You hiss, sitting up and looking at him. 

He hasn’t really talked to you much. Too busy giving you looks and pretending like he didn’t when your sister or parents or any other already arrived wedding party approached him. 

“What would I want?” Sunghoon asks back, tilting his head. The view he has from up here, your tits sitting in your bikini top, looking as delicious as they always did. It takes all in him not to drag you up and take you in front of everyone. 

You snort and roll your eyes, turning back to your book.

“Well, if there is nothing you want, you can leave me alone.” 

He watches you, how you lay back on your stomach, how you open the book and look for the page you just read. Licking over his lips, he roams his eyes over you. At this point, he has lost count of how many times he’s looked at you. How many times he has waited in the bathroom at night for Heeseung to send the videos, the pictures. As much as he was jealous, he enjoyed looking at you as he used his lubed up hand to get himself off. Except… for the last two days. He hasn’t sent you a picture of him with his cum all over his torso or thighs for two days because he simply hadn’t let himself reach climax. He’s been edging himself for all this time, waiting for the right time to unload all of his seed… preferably on you. 

It doesn’t feel like enough. Just getting to watch you through a screen, imagine what you would feel like. Your mouth, he remembers. Vividly. Your pussy… he can only wonder. Only guess when Heeseung sends him those videos or when he tells him before they head down to breakfast. 

Letting his eyes wander over your frame, your neck and back, your hips and ass, your legs… 

“Get up.” He says. You don’t move. 

He growls.

“I said,” his voice is low and warmth gathers at your core, “get up.”

It is when you still don’t move, Sunghoon feels his patience run thin. He places his iced coffee on one of the tables next to the lounge chairs.

Then, he is quick to pull you up, both his hands on your hips, a yelp coming out of you as he skillfully gets you on your feet. You stare at him with wide eyes and your mouth agape. Oh… your mouth. He has to restrain himself - already half hard in his trunks. Sunghoon looks around, sees his fiancé in a conversation with your mother. An idea flashes before him and he smirks slightly, alarm bells ringing in your head. What is he planning?

Not even a second passes when he grabs his iced coffee and spills it all over himself.

“God, watch where you’re going!” He yells, making all of your family members and their friends look at you. This little shit. 

Linda immediately jumps to her feet.

“Look what you’ve done!” She screeches and you press your lips together, acting the part of the guilt ridden sister.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to!” You defend yourself, but your sister just shoots you a deadly gaze. 

“My darling, are you alright?” She is looking at Sunghoon now at his coffee stained self. He shakes his head.

“I really wanted that coffee. And these are my favorite trunks,” he sighs, “come on, Y/N, you’re gonna get me a new coffee.”

“I can get you a new coffee, babe!” Linda tries, her fingers wrapping around Sunghoon’s arm. It fills you with a sense of triumph when he moves out of her grip.

“You didn’t do this, honey. She did. Go back to your lounging.” He says it to her, but looks at you. And, god, you don’t think you’ve ever been more aroused in your life. 

It starts in the elevator up to his room. His hands are on your tits and your tongue is in his mouth. He groans when he feels you grabbing around his cock, hand swiftly inside his swimming trunks. There are no words being exchanged, only moans and sighs and gasps as he presses you against the wall, your kisses getting deeper and heavier by the second. 

Sunghoon has never wanted anyone as much as you right now. His cock is begging to be freed, leaking into his trunks. His thoughts are spiraling, a part of him just wants to push those skimpy bikini bottoms to the side and just fuck you right here, no matter if someone could walk in at any second, the other wants to take his time, bring you to his room and explore every inch of you. 

When the elevator stops at his floor, he drags you out, glad no one is around to see as he pushes you against the wall next to the now closing elevator doors, his hand immediately moving between your legs. He moans at the wetness already there. Well aware you haven’t been in the pool or the ocean today. 

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking wet.” He mumbles against your lips, pulling them into yet another heated kiss just as his fingers slip underneath your swimming suit, making you whimper. Your hips roll against his hand and he bites down on your bottom lip, fingers getting closer to where you want them, need them, the most. 

But he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you to his room, getting the keycard out of the small pouch he had in the pockets of his trunks. You watch as he opens the door, watch as impatience and need radiate off him and another feeling of triumph, of confidence overcomes you. He is actively choosing you over your sister. He wants you not her. 

Once you’re inside and the door is closed, you find yourself stuck between him and yet another wall, or in this case, door. His first mission is to get your tits out, his hands losing the strands of your top, the little fabric falling onto the floor a second later. He licks over his lips.

“I’ve been dreaming of these, baby,” he whispers, “come on, get on your knees.”

You do as told instantly. Dropping to your knees, eyes focused on him and only him. On how he now shoves his trunks down slowly, his cock, hard and red at the tip, springing free for you to admire. Your pussy starts throbbing. How badly you want him inside you, how badly you want him to fill you up with his cum, joining Heeseung’s from last night. 

“Open up, slut.” Again, you obey. Your mouth drops open, tongue sticks out and Sunghoon’s cock twitches at the sight. This is what he has been dreaming about. Your mouth around his cock, your perfect heavy tits naked and oh-so ready to be painted like that first night. 

“Good girl, so, so obedient.” He moves closer, right hand around his cock as the left is leaned against the wall, helping him keep his balance. Slowly, he brings the tip of his cock to the tip of your tongue, watching as you lick over it immediately. His eyes don’t leave yours when he begins shoving it in, his chest heaving. There is a good chance he might not last long, but he won’t let you leave this room without his cock having been inside you and if that means going again right after his first or second load. 

You take him like a pro. Feel him slide down your throat, hitting the back of it before going even deeper. You choke just slightly, breathing through your nose. He stops only when he is fully buried, his breath getting heavier with every passing moment.

“You take it so fucking well, what a good little whore.” Sweat is pooling at the top of his forehead, his knees about to give in. He begins to move his hips slowly at first, but when you tap his thigh, he takes it as a sign to go harder. And, shit, does he go harder. Throwing his head back as he brings both his hands to your head, holding it in place as he thrusts down your throat over and over again. His balls hit your chin whenever he moves to bury himself again, his moans and groans nothing but music to your ears. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck!” He groans in pleasure, pulling his cock out and the next thing you know there is cum all over you. Your tits are full with his seed, your neck, your chin, your face. You gasp slightly, staring at him with your lips swollen from the roughness of his movements. He breathes hard, hand around his cock to hold it steady as waves of his pleasure make more cum land on your tits. 

“That’s right, look at you, fuck,” his eyes are glossy watching your tits covered in his cum, his cock not losing any of it’s hardnes even after the amount of cum he just left on you. It’s not hard to notice. Your fingers scoop up a bit of it, sucking them clean and not letting him out of your sight. Sunghoon feels like he might have reached heaven. 

“You’re so fucking filthy,” he grumbles, pulling you up by your arms and crashing your lips against his again. He pulls you to the bed and pushes you down, watching your cum-covered tits bounce as you fall. You know what he wants and you slightly sit up, your elbows behind you, watching as he moves on top of you. His eyes are still so full of hunger, of need, of pure and hot lust. 

His cock slides between your tits, his hands pushing them together around it. Then, he begins to thrust again. Just like he had wanted back at the restaurant. Fuck your tits covered in his cum, add a little more. 

You feel like the luckiest woman on earth with him like this. Using you to get off, his cock fucking your tits like a madman, whimpers and moans and groans, his head thrown back as he enjoys the feeling. It is even better than his imagination. Every second feels like he’s gonna ascend any moment now. His skin is tingling with desire and he wonders if it’ll ever stop. Right now, he thinks, he could probably go on for hours, for days. Just you and him and your tits and your mouth and your pussy. 

When he looks down again, sees the way you look at him, see the way his cock looks sandwiched between your breasts, Sunghoon can’t help but cum again, less than before but still enough to cover your chest and neck, adding even more paint to the already perfect canvas. 

Exhaustion is starting to spread through his bones, but he’s ignoring it. Instead, he pulls you up with him again, kissing you hard, fingers now finally finding their way into your bottoms again. He shoves them inside you immediately. 

“Sunghoon!” You cry out, fingers gripping his strong shoulders as he places you on his lap, straddling him. He fucks you with his fingers, hard and fast. Your pussy squeezes them, your arousal dripping onto his bare thighs.

“So, so wet. So fucking filthy with my cum all over you. Tell me, baby, are you a whore?”

“Y-Yes!” You squeak. He grins wickedly, adding a third finger to the two. You cry in pleasure, bouncing up and down on his long, perfect fingers.

“So eager to be called a whore. Fucking a taken man, two taken men. Your sister’s men. Aren’t you ashamed?” He breathes into you ear and you moan again, nails digging into his skin.

“N-No!” You answer and he laughs quietly, thumb now pressing down on your clit. You feel the first tears starting to pool in your eyes.

“Oh, but you should be. Such a dirty fucking whore, full of cum, getting her pussy fucked by her sister’s fiancés fingers,” He chuckles, “and soon his cock.”

You reach the edge just then. When he promises you his lengths, when he tells you how ashamed you should be. As if you don’t know. That’s what makes this whole thing so ridiculously hot. 

He fucks you through your orgasm, kissing your mouth again, tongues slashing against each other in a heated fight. You need him to fuck you. Right now. And as if he could read your mind, Sunghoon picks you up, hands underneath your thighs, lips never leaving yours and brings you to the spacious bathroom. 

First, he fucks you in front of the mirror. Makes you watch yourself, getting fucked like a cheap whore by his sister’s soon-to-be husband. He makes you lick his cum off his fingers, thrusts them as deep down your throat as his cock is penetrating you. 

Your pussy might be the best he’s ever had. The second he was buried inside of you, he knew he was done for. Knew this couldn’t be the last time he did this. Every bit of you, he wanted for himself. He even thought about asking Heeseung to back off, which he knew his best friend never would. Not with you. Not when you were this perfect. Fulfilling their every need, letting them do with you whatever they wanted. 

When he gets you in the shower, he washes the drying cum off of you softly. He’s still inside of you, his still not fully satisfied cock. You squeeze around him, throb around him. You need him to do more, he knows it as well as you. But he’s gentle. Uses a sponge to get every bit of his seed off your body, his lips kissing your cheeks, lips, nose, neck and breasts. It’s almost too soft for you. 

This is supposed to be about nothing but sex. He is supposed to fuck you, call you names while you’re at it and then disregard you. Instead, he’s being gentle. 

That is, until the door outside opens and your sister’s voice interrupts the softness. It makes room for yet another wicked grin and Sunghoon’s first thrust inside of you for minutes. Your hand flies to your mouth covering the pathetic whimper that would have come out. Sunghoon’s eyes sparkle.

“Hoonie? Are you in the shower?”

He begins to thrust again, his hands on your hips, staring into your eyes as he gives you his fucking all. Your eyes roll back.

“Yes, darling. Your stupid sister managed to get me all sticky with that coffee!”  

Your pussy fluttered at the words. He grinned wider.

“Oh, like it when I call you stupid?” He whispers into your ear, cock twitching rapidly as he bites into your neck, hips showing you absolutely no mercy.

“Ugh, I am so sorry about her! She’s not just a klutz, she’s also insanely dumb. I can’t wait to never see her again after this is done.”

Perhaps these words would have hurt you, if Sunghoon wasn’t railing you like the god he was. Every thrust was smooth and yet hard enough to make your toes curl. He made quick work to lift you up, your legs now wrapping around his middle as he continued to fuck into you, moaning into your neck to drown out the noise. 

“Yeah, she is a real piece of work,” he finally replied, his eyes staring into yours as he smirked. 

“No wonder she can’t get a boyfriend! Who would ever want to be with that?” 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, pressing his body closer to yours, kissing you again, his tongue licking sensually over your bottom lip. It makes a shiver run down your spine. 

“Anyway, where did she go? I didn’t find her in her room.”

Sunghoon reluctantly parts from you.

“No clue. She got me a new coffee and stormed off like the big baby she is.” 

He grabs your tits again, squeezing and massaging, nipple between forefinger and thumb, leaning down so he can put it in his mouth and suck and bite down, your hand on your mouth pressing down harder. 

You explode around him. Squirt like a fucking porn-star, liquid shooting out of you and down his legs, mixing with the water of the shower. Sunghoon’s knees are once more about to give in. He moans against your lips, hoping Linda didn’t hear and at the same time also hoping she did. Your climax makes him cum for the third time that day, his hot semen filling your spent pussy, painting it white like the clouds. 

“That, she is indeed,” Linda laughs, “anyway, we’re gonna go get dinner in the city, baby. I’ll be at Liza’s room, love you!”

Sunghoon doesn’t answer and Linda just leaves. You feel like no words were even needed to understand. 

Once you’re sure Linda is gone for good, Sunghoon and you step out of the shower. It’s quiet between you, quiet and somewhat heavy. You don’t like it one bit. You’re quick to grab your bikini and put it back on, relieved to know you most likely won’t find your sisters back at the beach where you’re headed now. 

You don’t turn around again when you leave the bathroom. And you also don’t expect Sunghoon to say anything. Still, when you open the door to leave, you feel just a tiny bit disappointed that he doesn’t hold you back. 

How utterly pathetic of you. 

Heeseung doesn’t come for you that night. You wonder if it’s because of Sunghoon and decide it most definitely is because of Sunghoon. 

Yet, the slightly younger male doesn’t come to seek you out either. 

Tonight, it’s just you. 

And perhaps, you think, that’s just how it’s supposed to be. 

to be continued...

header & divider credit to the wonderful @wongyuseokie <3

SO SOAKED yang jungwon

nerdy ravenclaw!jungwon x popular slytherin!fem reader

A/N : this will be my first full fic ! I hope you enjoy &lt;;33

SYNOPSIS: All schools have their cliques right? Right. Whether they’re a public school in America or a Wizarding school in England, everybody has their place. You, fortunately, were the ‘it girl’ as some say, you could have anyone you wanted, and anyone who’s anyone wanted you. Accept him, Yang Jungwon, the only boy you’ve ever wanted since your first year, yet ironically, the only boy who’s never wanted you. 

EST WC: 10k

WARNINGS: SMUT (MDNI), alcohol use, unprotected sex (how silly of them!), Heeseung is a little sexually aggressive, slight slut shaming, drug use (only weed), semi- public sex, possessiveness, unrequited pinning, strangers to ???

TAGLIST (open): I will be checking all accounts for ages! ADD YOUR AGE TO YOUR BIO!!!

SO SOAKED PLAYLIST

Everybody at Hogwarts knew the name ‘Hwang y/n’, and if they didn’t? Well, clearly they’re due a trip to the infirmary. Ever since your first year at the infamous school you’d been in your brothers the spotlight, you’ve always been surrounded with ‘friends’ though you only truly trust a handful of them, most of them are pure meat riders… You’re not surprised that you’ve always been the centre of attention, being from one of the most prestigious families of the wizarding world, yet sometimes, only sometimes, you wished you weren’t so well know, weren’t always crowded with people, attempting to take advantage of you and your societal position. Of course, it came with its perks, you barely got into trouble at school, teachers were rather scared of your family’s not so subtle connection to the terrorising death eaters. You always got your way, no matter what, everyone did your bidding. And what you find to be the most enjoyable perk, the boys. Wherever you went within the school, a boy was always tailing you, trying to get into your pants none the less but who said that was a bad thing? How else would you have gotten yourself into this situation..?

Jake Sim, hogwarts golden boy, Grade A’s across the board, teachers pet if we’re being honest, currently leaning on his headboard, eyes lulled, lip between his bottom teeth to suppress his unholy noises as he watches you practically choke on his cock. Who would have thought the same boy who placed top of his class again last year would have a monster cock yet not know how to use it! Many people had deemed it impossible to sleep with Jake, he was always reserved and turned down anybodies advances, but impossible wasn’t in your vocabulary.

“f- fuck oh my god, Heeseung was right you do have a holy mouth,”

Your eyes snapped up at that comment, movements stilling, leading the boy to let out a groan, attempting to push your head further onto his cock.

“Come on yn, don’t be a kill joy, suck.”

That was what made you snap, pulling off of the now groaning boys dick,

“listen here Sim, I don’t know who you and your creepy friends think you are talking about me, but I’m leaving.”

You stormed out of the dorm, pulling on your sweater as you trudged down the cobblestone stairs to the ravenclaw common room, ignoring the boys protests calling after you. You stopped at the bottom of the stairs, fixing your hair as to make yourself presentable before being faced with Jakes roommates. You didn’t know who they were, you didn’t care either but you knew they’d be waiting to go into the room as it was 1AM yet Jake had wearily left a sock on the dorms door handle.

Fuck.

Out of all people he was the person you’d least like to see right now, of course one of Jake’s roommates would be Jungwon. You were trying to sleep with Jake to keep your mind off the boy who was currently staring at you doe eyed across the room. Jungwon, the only boy you’d ever truly been interested in, ever since first year you’d tried to make a move on him yet to no avail, he never seemed to have any interest in you at all! As the boy stared at you with a perplexed look you smiled, slightly biting your lip as to surpress your embarrassment, bowing as you made your way toward the door.

“Leaving so soon ynnie? Was hoping I could join you two later, get another taste hah,”

Heeseung voiced as he entered the common room, smirking, making his way towards you.

“Fuck you Heeseung,”

you snapped, not having the mental capacity to deal with his shit. You felt the tall boys hands find their way towards your hips, pulling you back to whisper into your ear.

“Come on yn! You’re such a slut I know you want another round with me hm?”

“Heeseung stop,”

you warned, eyes darting anywhere but the boy who watched your interaction with a slight frown. You watched from the corner of your eye, Jungwon leave his spot on the couch, ‘don’t go now!’ You silently begged as you felt Heeseungs hard on press firmly on your ass.

“Heeseung she clearly doesn’t want your crusty dick,”

You felt Jungwons soft hands pull you away from the, now irritated Heeseung, pushing you lightly out the dorms door, quietly following before leaning on the oak door. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you before he finally broke it, turning his body slightly towards you,

“Are you okay, yn?”

Just him saying your name made you want to drop to your knees and worship the ground he stood on,

“Yeah thanks won, also, I didn’t sleep with Jake you know,”

The boy smirked at you, raising his eyebrows and nodding slightly, clearly unconvinced,

“Sure you didn’t,”

You laughed shortly at his reaction before shifting your body closer to his,

“Really, I didn’t, I was going to sure but he was being a dick, it was pissing me off,”

Jungwons amused look stayed painted on his face, chuckling again before leaning back against the tall door. His head hung back against it, slightly turning to face you,

“Think that’s just dirty talk ynnie,”

You shook your head once more, assuring the boy that hes just a massive dick, pretending his nickname had no effect on you.

“You should go to your dorm, before Filch catches you,”

You nodded at the boy, pushing yourself up from your position leaning on the door, quietly bidding him goodbye before turning to walk back to your dorm,

“Night ynnie, sleep well,”

“Yn come on this is your chance!”

Karina repetitively tapped your arm, attempting to go and thank Jungwon for what happened at his dorm, trying to convince you that he’d definitely fold if you were all ‘my night in shining armour’ with him. No way that’d work, she did not know Jungwon, neither did you really but that’s beside the point. Yizhou had joined in now, shaking your arm as if it’d help convince you,

“If I go and talk to him, will you stop touching me,”

both girls pulled their arms up in record speed, nodding enthusiastically at your offer. You sighed, begrudgingly getting up though deep down your mind was circling with images of all the different reactions Jungwon could have to your comment. He was sat on his own in the great hall, head in his potions textbook, stirring a bowl of muesli with his finger, you didn’t realise he was so skilled in charms, or with his fingers,

“Hey won,”

You chimed, sitting down opposite him. His head moved up to look at you, eyes shortly following to look in your direction. Jungwon preferred you like this, with your uniform on, no cloak though, your hair was styled neatly, resting on your shoulders and your face hid a subtle rosy hue, you looked more like you, not like the act he swears you only drop when conversing with him, he wasn’t complaining,

“Hey yn, you okay?”

He sent a half smile your way, one hand holding his textbook open, the other still entertaining the bowl of oats and fruit that sat between the two of you,

“I just wanted to thank you for yesterday, I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t there,”

Jungwon smiled, sighing slightly as he watched you lean onto the table, one arm laying across the oak while the other curled around your hair, you tucked your lip underneath your teeth slightly, sending a smile his way, you could share you saw him swallow and poke his cheek with his tongue at your actions,

“It’s no problem, they’re my friends but I can admit they’re dicks,”

you nodded at the boy, slightly brushing his arm with the hand that lay across the table watching as he chuckled at your seemingly innocent action,

“Anything else yn?”

he questioned, wondering what else you could have up your sleeve,

“Was just wondering, is there anything I can do to thank you?”

There it is. Jungwon laughed, hand abandoning his breakfast to bring it to your face, tucking a loose hair behind your ear, relishing in how your face turned a pinkish colour at his touch, only he had that effect on you, only him,

“Ynnie, I’m not going to fuck you,”

Your eyes widened at the boys words, stumbling over your tongue in an attempt to justify your offer,

“NO- no I don’t mean- no like anything, some soju or something I don’t know,”

your voice got quieter the more you spoke to the boy, a blush now finding it’s way to your ears,

“You really wanna thank me?”

you nodded eagerly at the boys question, his hand still placed on your cheek. He pulled it away, bringing his attention back to his food,

“Stop failing transfiguration,”

You sighed, accepting defeat before pulling yourself up from the table,

“If you ever want your thank you, I’ll be here,”

you finally stated before scuttling away back to your table with your friends, probably telling them all about the interaction between the two of you, Jungwon revelled in the fact that you could have anyone you wanted in this school, yet you always wanted him, cute.

Anybody within the right mind hates potions, it truly was the worst subject. Could anybody really find sitting for an hour listening to Snape drone on about Dittany anything but excruciating? Jungwon could, clearly. The way he sat, looking at the professor with such intent made your heart swell. You’d always admired the way Jungwon was so serious about his schoolwork, you wished you could be as bright as him, but you had more important things to focus on! Him. Snapes voice brought you out of you daze, completely souring your mood,

“It has come to my attention that a few of my students are failing, and we cannot have that can we! Now if I call your name please take this into account, Nishimura Riki, Jeong Aran, Hong Eunchae, Song Eunseok, Lee Sohee, Yizhou Ning, and Hwang yn,”

You looked at the girl beside you, both grimacing at the fact you were failing yet another subject. Yizhou fell dramatically into your lap, groaning about how her dad would kill her, you pat her head reassuring her it’ll be fine, though you aren’t completely sure yourself,

“Right! Time for you to make your own Dittany potions, you know the drill partner up!”

You and Yizhou stood up, collecting your belongings before making your way towards a work bench. As you reached the workspace you heard a draining voice from behind you,

“No, no, no, no, no! You two are not working together again! Not after last time, and you’re both failing. Yizhou you work with Sunghoon, Yn you work with Heeseung,”

Your heart dropped at the boys name, Yizhou looking at you in surprise while trying to bargain with the stubborn professor. As Heeseung made his way towards you, his face dripping with arrogance, you just wished you could slap some reality into him.

“Well well well yn, we meet again! You know, I could help you not be such a failure, gonna have to work for it though,”

He smirked, voice laced with false charm. You declined his offer, obviously, going to collect everything needed for your potion while also attempting to spend as much time possible away from the draining boy.

Jungwon had noticed Heeseung and you from the minute he made his way over to your bench, warily watching the way you reacted to the boys snide remarks. As soon as you left to collect your ingredients, he took it as an opportunity to save you from the situation. Making his way to Heeseung, Jungwon attempted to justify why he was helping you so much, landing on the fact that it’d be fun to cockblock his big headed friend once more. “Hey man, would you mind if I work with yn instead? I really need to talk to her, it’s important,”

Heeseung grimiced yet complied, not wanting to argue with the stern faced boy. Letting out one last sigh, he collected his things and made his way over to Jungwons previous place next to Sunoo. As your figure made its way closer to the workbench Jungwon could swear he felt his heart beat quicker, it was just you? “Wonnie? What are you doing here?”

you questioned while wrongly arranging the supplies for your potion, not so accidentally brushing against Jungwon in the process,

“Just thought you wouldn’t want to work with Heeseung after, well you know,”

he admitted, turning away from you as to bask away his slight blush, what was wrong with him! It was just you. You moved closer to the boy, trapping him close to you by placing your hands on the counter either side of him, leaning impossibly closer to quietly mutter,

“That’s so thoughtful won! You’re just so nice hm?”

Jungwon chuckled, taking your hands into his before placing them onto your chest,

‘It doesn’t mean anything ynnie, I’m just not a dick!”

You nodded at the boy, eyes slightly widening with skeptic. The two of you worked on your potion until the end of lesson, conversing ever so often though Jungwon was not good at replying to you, completely focused on your concoction, maybe his studies sometimes got the best of him. As the bell rang, signalling the end off lesson, you turned once again toward the boy,

“Any plans for the weekend Wonnie? Will I see you at the dorm party?”

Jungwon chuckled again at your advances, nodding lightly before modelling your previous actions, trapping you between you and the counter, taking hold of the test tube rack behind of you,

“It’s either that or smoke weed for hours on end with Jay and Sunghoon so yeah, I’ll be there,”

You looked down, flustered at your close proximity as you felt the boy pull away and grab his bag before finally patting your head,

“See you later ynnie!”

“Oh my god ynnie, if you wear that he’ll for sure fuck you,”

Aeri was convinced that Jungwon would be tempted by you in the skimpy black dress, having slipped it into your decision making process a good 3 times so far.

“no he won’t! He’ll just think I’m a whore..”

Karina let out a chocked laugh at that, explaining that if he was going to think that of you, he already would having seen you in and out of his dorms a good 6 times this term. You groaned, sliding off of your bed onto the hard floor, letting your eyes close as you composed yourself to face Aeris’ menacing look once more. Finally opening your eyes you were caught off by Minjeongs face directly infront of yours,

“WEAR THE DRESS YN!”

your eyes widened at the outburst from the usually composed girl, damn this dress must be a horcrux or something?

“If Min approves of it then you have to yn,”

You sighed, finally giving into defeat as you snatched the dress from Aeri. As you made your way to the bathroom to get changed you warned the girls that if you don’t look good it’s all their fault.

-

“Oh my- if I were Jungwon I’d fuck you, that’s all I’m going to say,”

you giggled slightly at your friends heart eyed reactions, you had to give it to Aeri, the dress was gorgeous, it hugged your body in all the right places yet it still left a good amount to the imagination. The five of you sat doing your hair and makeup, one at a time getting changed and having dramatic reactions to one and other, Rina fell off her chair more than once….

“The party starts at 11 so get there 11:45? We cannot be the first to a griffindoor party, well probably be mauled!”

Yizhuo warned as you finished straightening her hair. Minjeong told her that she was being mean and that some Griffindoors were actually normal. You sometimes wondered how you became friends, being so different, yet you loved her all the same.

“Eugh! Why is the floor so sticky?”

The Griffindoor dorms were always your least favourite place to be, for some reason they all had some kind of weird hatred for you, you weren’t actually a deatheater yourself! You turned to Karina as she debated on which boy to go for tonight,

“Oh! What about him he’s so hot!”

you laughed at the girls reaction, you’d think she was choosing which lolly she wanted, not which dick. You told the girl who her chosen cock was, dragging her over in his direction,

“Hey Hao! Have you met my friend Karina?”

you smiled watching the two gravitate closer and closer to one another, another perk of being well known! You scan the room looking for Jungwon though he’s nowhere to be seen, maybe he was smoking pot with his friends after all. You felt a tug on your waist, hoping it would be won, it wasn’t.

“Hey yn, seems the universe just wants us together hey? You gonna lemme hit yet?”

You make a disgusted face at the boy, attempting to push him away. He tightly pulled you back towards him, tightly gripping your hips. He pulled you into him, pressing your head onto his shoulder while his hands stayed secure around your hips, one of them subtly moving to your ass. You rolled your eyes as you slightly entertained the boy, dancing with him though not liking the way his hands roamed your body. Heeseung brought his hands to your face, closing his eyes as he pushed his puckered lips to your persed ones. “Heeseung stop!”

you muffled, trying to push away from him though to no evail, the boy only kissed you further, pushing his tongue into your mouth with no rhythm at all.

“Fuck- stop resisting yn! Just fucking take it,”

As you were about to attempt to push the boy once more, you felt his presence get ripped from next to you. Heeseung groaned at the sight of his younger friend, knowing he was fucked.

“Come on man, just let me be!”

he pleaded, watching Jungwons stern look become impossibly more irritated. He took that as his sign to walk away, not stopping himself from slapping your butt as he passed you. After avoiding eye contact you finally looked into Jungwons eyes, yours filled with embarrassment and his worry with a hint of anger. “Sorry won,”

You mutter, stepping closer to him as you watched his eyes soften at your words,

“Yn, you don’t need to be sorry, it’s him who’s a dick,”

you nod lightly, expecting the boy to leave you after one final remark. As your eyes flicker to the ground between the two of you Jungwon took your silence as an invitation to take your hand into his, pulling you into an open area of the dorm. A small balcony, secluded from the rest of the party yet entirely exposed to the remainder of the castle.

You watched as Jungwon sat him self in the chair placed in the corner of the balcony, pulling out a cigarette, quickly lighting it before pulling it between his lips. You leaned yourself back on the railing of the terrace, your body turned towards the sitting boy. Jungwon noticed your stare quickly (he was looking at you too) and he brought his cigarette up to you as if to offer it, you shook your head lightly before turning to look out at the school grounds.

After a few minutes of silence you heard Jungwons cigarette drop to the floor, followed by his foot crushing any remaining ashes. The boy stood up and made his way over to you, placing his hands either side of you before leaning next to your ear,

“Are you okay now?”

you shuddered lightly at the feeling of his hot breath on your neck, leaving any hairs to stand on end,

“Yeah, I’m okay now, thanks wonnie,”

Jungwon felt his heart tighten, the way you said his name, turned to face him and sent your signature smile, it all made his heart flutter. The boy hummed as his hands made their way down your body, feeling the fabric of your dress while his eyes racked your figure,

“Like this,”

he muttered, his hands tugging lightly at the fabric that clung to your body, You smiled up a the boy, hand making its way to the back of his head, pulling it closer to yours,

“Why don’t you take it off then?”

that was all Jungwon needed, he immediately crashed his lips onto yours, teeth lightly nipping at your bottom lip, forcing your mouth open to rhythmically dance his tongue with yours. The boys hands found their way quickly underneath your dress, hooking his fingers on your panties, grazing his fingertips against your core before stilling his movements all together,

“You sure about this?” he questioned, panting while his knee pushed its way between your two legs, you harshly nodded, looking up at the boy. Jungwon sighed against you,

“Gotta use your words princess,”

You groaned as you begrudgingly chocked out a,

“P-please,”

Jungwon felt his cock grow even more at the sound of your soft yet hourse voice,

“Hmm please what?”

You groaned again at the boys teasing, bringing your hand to his hard on, rubbing him through his pants. Jungwons eyes widened as he unintentionally bucked his cock into your hand,

“Please, fuck me Jungwon,”

You tell him confidently, watching as the boys smirk fell again at the feeling of you palming him while pulling his pants down to a midpoint on his thigh.

“F-fuck yn!”

he breathed out, head falling and eyes rolling back as his mouth hung open, ever so often groans slipping out while you continued your actions. After some times of palming Jungwon through his boxers, you slowly fall to your knees infront of him, revelling in the way his eyes grew with anticipation. The two of you made eye contact as you painstakingly slowly pulled his underwear down to reveal his cock. Jungwon had to look away after some time,it was all getting to intense.

“Look at me,”

you ordered, snickering as you watched Jungwons trembling face meet yours, chest rising and falling as he tried to calm himself. You remained in eye contact with the boy as you started to place light kisses against his tip, tracing the veins up and down his shaft with your tongue. You felt jungwons hand creep around to grab at your chin, positioning your mouth at the tip of his dick, letting out a chocked,

“f-fuck, yn please just- fuck,”

You finally took his dick into your mouth, looking up at him through your eyelashes as his hand made its way to your hair, pushing you down on his cock, forcing a gag out of you which just made him buck into you harder. You continued to suck his cock, ever so often pulling away to fixate on his tip, spitting on it as his whines got bigger and higher,

“g-gonna cum, you gonna swallow it? be good for me yeah baby?”

you nodded against his cock, wetness growing between your thighs at the nickname. Jungwon pushed your head against his cock a few more times before finally letting out a low groan, shooting his load down your throat. You swallowed anything in your mouth, opening your mouth to show the boy who was still recovering from his intense orgasm. The boy pulled you to your feet, kissing you once again as he put his dick back inside his trousers,

“My friends will be wondering where I am, I’ll talk to you soon ynnie,”

you smiled at the boy, watching as he opened the patio door, quickly disappearing behind it. What had just happened? Had you seriously just given Yang Jungwon the suck of his life then let him disappear back to the party? Well, at least one thing was for certain, he owed you.

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?”

Sunoo screamed at the top of his lungs,

“You’re telling me, that THE Hwang Yn just gave you the suck of a lifetime and instead of repaying the favour, you disappear into the fucking night?”

Jungwon looked that the boy, pulling the joint from between his lips. He smirked slightly before admitting,

“Yeah? I mean she’s always ogling me and I suppose she can put her mouth to good use?”

Jungwon stifled a laugh as the boys jaw dropped,

“You don’t understand how lucky you are Jungwon, yn doesn’t want people, people want her, she’s fucking obsessed with you!”

Jungwon shook his head at the older boys words, explaining that he’d rather focus on his studies rather than ‘some girl’. “Jungwon, she isn’t some girl! She’s like gold!”

jungwon rolled his eyes once more, inhaling another drag of the blunt between his lips,

“You seem to be fucking in love with her, you go after her if you want her so bad,”

Sunoo simply shook his head, laughing at the boys words before snatching the joint from his hand,

“I would if I could Won, she only wants you though, I’ll catch you later man, gonna go and see if i can find Riki,”

Jungwon waved his friend goodbye, tapping out the blunt and making his way back to his dorm, it didn’t mean anything between the two of you did it? Sunoo was being dramatic, you weren’t obsessed with him, just wanted to sleep with him, right?

4 days ago you gave Yang Jungwon a blowjob, yet he hasn’t ushered a word to you, nor has he even looked in your direction. You even made the effort to go up to him in the library, asking him if he was having a good day, yet the boy looked at you, rolled his eyes, and walked away. You were determined to make sure that you being on your knees for him was not your last interaction.

“Hi Sunghoon!” you called out, silently laughing at the way the boys eyes widened at your voice, he greeted you back, moving his studying materials out of your way as you sat on top of his table,

“So, you know the dorm parties each Friday?”

Sunghoon hummed in agreement, looking up at you with anticipation,

“Well, I was hoping you guys could host it this week! I feel like I haven’t been there in ages,”

you winked at the boy, hoping it would remind him of the time you spent together in his dorm. It did.

“Oh! Yeah sure ynnie, anything else?” you shook your head at the question, hoping off the table before winking at the boys flustered face and toddling back over to your waiting friends,

“bye hoonnie!”

As you walk through the ravenclaw dorms you feel Karina tug on your sleve,

“Ynnieeeee, come on he’s probably in his dorm come and have some funnn,”

you laugh slightly at the girls drunken state, waving her comment off as you continued to scan the room for him. You slightly registered Jisoo wandering away from you, probably towards some guy, not acknowledging it though as finally spotted Jungwon and his friends in the corner of the common room. You were about to go and talk to him when you realised, you gave him head? He should come to you, a real gentleman would be eager to return the favour!

-

As the night went on Jungwon was yet to approach you, he knew you were there, you’d made eye contact, he just wasn’t making the effort. You’d danced with a fair share of boys, though none of them interesting, sometimes looking over at Jungwon only to see him staring daggers into the back of the random ravenclaws head who happened to be letting his hands wander lower and lower before you pulled away. But when you looked over, the boy was already preoccupied with one of his friends, as if he didn’t just look like he could kill. You stood for a while, wondering if this was all worth it, if he was worth it, worth all of your time when he can’t even look at you on his own acord.

Suddenly a pair of hands found their way to your waist, turning you around to meet his eyes, his eyes. “Oh hello,” you contort, “finally came to talk to me?”

You watched as Jungwon stuttered, slightly taken back at your boldness,

“Well my friends told me to so,”

Oh. It wasn’t that he’d finally decided to talk to you, it was his friends. You know that you probably should push him away right now, tell him to just fuck off. But it’s Jungwon. “Well,” you mumble, draping your arms around his neck, “you still owe me wonnie!”

Jungwon smirked, he knew this was coming,

“Oh really? What exactly do I owe you hm?”

You smirked at the boys change in attitude, though it was whipped off of you face as you felt the boys hot breath against your neck, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and weed lingering off his person. Your breath hitched as he leaned into your ear,

“What do you want in return hm? Want me to fuck you? Want me to use my fingers? I always see you staring at them so it wouldn’t surprise me,”

you swallowed harshly and watched out the corner of you eye as Jungwons tongue peeked out and brushed against his lip,

“I- I don’t know,”

you muttered, sinking deeper into yourself as the boy let out a chuckle,

“You know, you act so bold yet as soon as I talk to you you crumble, so cute,”

you felt as the blush that had set itself on your cheeks the minute Jungwon approached you grew a darker shade as crimson, letting out a whine only loud enough for Jungwons ears at his teasing,

“Come on ynnie, just tell me what you want,”

Jungwons hands tightened their grip against your hips, pulling you impossibly closer towards him, hoping you could feel his cock against your stomach. Your eyes rolled back at the contact, head flopping down onto his shoulder,

“Just want you,”

You felt Jungwons deep chuckle down your ear and before you could comprehend you were being dragged up the dorms stairs into his room. As soon as the doors shut you felt Jungwons body pressed against yours, leaning on the door. His lips slowly traveled down your neck as he unbuttoned your shirt, stopping momentarily to suck harsh marks into your neck. As you let out a pathetic moan Jungwon peeled your shirt off your body, swallowing harshly at the sight of your lace-clad tits. “You’re so hot,”

He mumbled out, letting his lips find yours again before nipping at your lip, leading to you letting out a raspy moan. Jungwon took the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips, licking against your own as a mix of your saliva began dripping out of your mouths. Never had anyone made out with you so messily and it was going straight to your core. As Jungwons hands wandered to the zipper on your jeans your hands found the hem of his shirt, silently begging him to take it off so that you wouldn’t be the only person undressed. Jungwon pulled away to fling his shirt above his head and discard it across his shared dorm. You took the opportunity to shimmy down your jeans leaving you in your underwear only.

“Fuck,”

Jungwon breathed out, he knew you were attractive but under the dim blue lighting of his dorm you looked ethereal, no way you were real.

You felt as the impatient boy pulled you towards his bed, flopping against it before pulling you against him. You giggled slightly at his movements, shifting slightly to straddle the boy, leaving your hands on his chest.

“So,” he started, “Can I eat you out?”

You were taken aback, out of all of your hookups no boy had ever asked if he could eat you out, you’d always had to ask them or it didn’t happen. You looked back at Jungwon, heart softening at his glazed over eyes,

“You want to eat me out?”

Jungwon laughed lightly at your question, how could he not? You were beautiful how could you not taste like heaven?

“Yeah of course, do you want me to?”

you could hear the hesitation in his voice, indicating that he was really hoping you’d say yes, cute.

“Fuck yes please,”

The bewildered look on the boys face was quickly replaced by his signature smirk, guiding your hips up as he pulled down your panties, revealing your perfect pussy to him.

“Can you, um, can you sit on my face?”

oh my god. No way Yang Jungwon has just asked you to sit on his face? Why was he so perfect? No other boy had ever wanted you to do that, ever. You avoided his eyes before mumbling,

“I mean, no one’s ever asked me that and I don’t want to hurt you!”

Jungwons eyes widened, no one had.. what! He hooked his hands around your hips, pulling you until you were hovering above him. “Trust me,” he muttered, mesmerised by the way your folds were glistening, “you’re not going to hurt me baby,”

you let out a moan at the nickname, feeling Jungwon reach up and lick between your folds,

“So wet and I’ve barely done anything, sit.”

Your head leant back at the boys harsh words as you hesitantly sat until you could feel the boys breath against your core. Clearly though, that wasn’t enough as Jungwon pulled you down against his flat tongue moaning at the feeling of you against him. You instinctively grinded against the boys tongue, hand shooting towards his hair to tug and pull as you please.

Jungwons tongue plunged in and out of your cunt, relishing at the noises leaving your mouth. His nose bumped perfectly against your clit, letting you let out a moan of his name and a harsh pull on his locks. Jungwon let out a moan at your actions and let his hand wander to your free one, holding it firmly. The feeling of him moaning sent strong vibrations throughout your body, leaving you grasping at his hair again, pulling his hand to rest against your thigh. Jungwons movements sped up, frequently getting egged on by your moans of his name and tugs of his hair,

“Jungwon please, oh my-, gonna cum f- fuck!”

Jungwon moaned again at your words, actions speeding up as he brought his free hand around to rub quickly against your clit, feeling your cunt clench as a collection of spit and arousal spilt down his chin. You started fidgeting away from his mouth as your overwhelming orgasm approached, forcing Jungwon to abandon your clit and hand to pull your thighs firmly against his mouth. All it took was one final bump of his nose against your clit for you to be spazzaming around his tongue, cum dribbling down Jungwons chin and into his mouth. He licked against you a few more times before pulling you off his face, taking a few deep breaths before getting up to go to his sink, washing off his face. “Any good for your first time?”

he teased, giggling at your fucked out face, you nodded, still in post-orgasm bliss. You felt the bed beside you dip and Jungwon sat next to you, he pulled your face towards his before leaning close, placing a kiss on your lips,

“Still want me to fuck you?”

You let out a groan, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you clambered atop of the cocky boy. Jungwons eyes widened slightly at your boldness, his ring clad hands finding solace against your hips.

“Of course I do Wonnie, you know, since you made me cum so hard, why don’t you chose how you want to have me?”

you whispered the last part down his ear, making sure to send your hot breath his way in the meantime. Jungwon let out a deep chuckle, bringing his hand to your pussy, teasing at how wet you were again, the mix of your cum, arousal and his spit still lingering,

“How about, you ride me? Think you can do that baby?”

Before you could answer him, Jungwon was lying back against his headboard and leading your hands towards his zipper, he was painfully hard now, not ashamed to admit he very nearly came untouched at the mere taste of your pussy. You fumbled down his zipper, laughing slightly as he lifted his hips to pull down his pants. You shifted slightly so that you were sat directly on top of his bulge, both of you hissing at the feeling, to test the waters you grided slightly against him, though shocked when Jungwons cold hands stilled your movements,

“As much as I don’t want to stop you pretty, if you keep doing that I’m gonna calm before I’m even inside of you, need you now baby,”

You laughed once more at the boys desperation, lifting your hips to pull his boxers down and set his hard cock free from its confinements. Jungwon let out a hiss as the cold air hit his cock, mumbling again how he just wanted you. Not wanting to tease the boy any more you lifted your hips, positioned him at your entrance and sank down onto him. Jungwon let out a hiss at the feeling, eyes rolling backwards and jaw going slack,

“Oh my god- so fucking tight yn, if you keep sucking me in like that no way I’ll last long,”

you moaned at the boys confession, squeezing harshly around him just to hear him whine again. He was so fucking hot. You felt as Jungwons hands held your hips, pushing you up off of his cock before slamming you right back down again. The feeling of his cock dragging deliciously against your walls had the both of you groaning and whining. You continued the ministrations, bouncing up and down on his cock as he pulled you closer to him, pushing his lips hard against yours. “Fuck,”

you muttered against his lips, a burning feeling starting to creep into your thighs. As you continued bouncing on his cock you could feel your movements slowing, the burning of your thighs becoming too tired to continue,

“Jungwon, can’t do it- fuck- help please,”

Jungwon let out a deep groan, not warning you before flipping you over onto your back, keeping his cock nestled inside of you while hovering above you. Jungwons movements had stilled, his hand coming to pull your lips apart, he leaned closer to you, letting a glob of spit travel from his mouth to yours, you immediately swallowed it, letting out a moan at the feeling of his saliva dribbling down your throat. “Such a good fucking girl,”

he muttered, dragging his cock out of you until it was just the tip left inside. He lent down to kiss you before slamming into you, keeping a relentless pace as he pulled his face back to watch your face contort at his actions. “I- fuck fuck fuck fuck Jungwon I’m going to cum ohmygod,”

The boy laughed once more, his hand that had previously parted your lips, making its way down to your clit, as he continuously flicked your bud he relished in the way your cunt tightened against him, whining again as he felt his orgasm creep up on him. You reached your hands round to his back, scratching deeply as you felt Jungwon hit your g-spot one last time. You let out an outrageously loud moan as your orgasm came over you, the feeling of your cunt pulsating around his dick sent Jungwon into the same euphoric feeling as he shot his load deep into your cunt.

Jungwon kept thrusting into you shallowly, riding out your orgasms before pulling out and flopping on top of you.

“I- I should probably walk you back to your dorm, Jake’ll want to come to bed soon so, you get it,”

You nodded at his words saw the boy pushed himself off of you and went to grab a wet cloth, he cleaned off the two of you, pulling on a pair of his own underwear and pyjama pants before turning his attention to you. “You can wear some of my clothes, I don’t mind I just want you to be comfortable,”

you smiled softly at the boys words, nodding while sitting up and smiling at him. He helped you into some of his boxers, a pair of socks and a T-shirt that traveled below your knees. The boy pulled another shirt over his head before he mumbled,

“I’ll walk you back, who knows who’ll be wandering at this time of night, the parties well over but I’m guessing some people will still be looking to get off,”

You laughed slightly at his comment, nodding as you went to stand up. Much to your avail though as the minute you went to stand your legs felt as though they’d turned to jelly, you wobbled slightly before you tumbled back and hit his bed. (Sorry if this is a bit inaccurate, unfortunately I’ve never been fucked hard enough that i couldn’t walk :( ben take notes) Jungwon let out a soft chuckle at your actions,

“I really fucked you that good?”

you rolled your eyes at the boy, telling him that he shouldn’t get to cocky and that you were sure he was putting up a fight not to crumble onto the floor, you weren’t wrong. The boy disregarded your comment though, opting to turn so his back was facing you, prompting you to jump onto his back. You did you, wrapping your arms and legs around your torso while leaning your head against his shoulder. Jungwons hands clutched your thighs before trudging out of his door and down the stairs, choosing to ignore Jake’s high taunts.

Before you knew it you were at your dorms, you had told Jungwon that you’d be fine to go in on your own though he disagreed, opting to take you all the way to your dorms door. “I’m not gonna come in because, well, I don’t think 4 girls waking up to me glooming over the, would be a good luck,”

you laughed at the boy, leaning up to leave a kiss on his cheek.

“Good night Won,”

he leant down and kissed your temple,

“Good night Ynnie,”

“So you’re telling me, you fucked her and now you’re ignoring her? The fuck is your problem man?”

Jungwon knew that telling his friends would be a mistake, so he opted to tell Sunoo, trusting him to not tell the others… rookie mistake.

“No! I am not blanking her, she wanted to fuck and we did so? I’m not going to make the effort to talk to her when she got what she wanted.”

Jay rarely spoke during these group discussions, so when he let out a taunt and Jungwons idiocy the others took it and ran.

“Jungwon you’re supposed to be smart, she’s obsessed with you,”

the boy stood up abruptly and went to leave the great hall before turning swiftly and snapping,

“She is not obsessed with me.”

Why do they keep saying that? Why would you be obsessed with him? In all honesty Jungwon wished you were obsessed with him, but you obviously aren’t! You just wanted to fuck him to show you could have anyone you wanted right? Right. A part of Jungwon wishes he hadn’t slept with you, hadn’t helped prove that you really could have anyone you wanted, but the other half of him hasn’t been able to make himself cum since without thinking of your cunt.

-

Jungwon sat on his own at lunch, he was still angry about his friends comments, and he had a lot to revise, though his ‘subconscious’ sat him right where he could look at you across the room. His ‘subconscious’ also kept stealing glances at you, laughing silently at the way your nose scrunches when you eat something you don’t like and how your eye smiles create creases next to them when you laugh. As people began to finish their food the hall stared to clear, leaving about 20 students per table, also meaning Jungwons stares could no longer be hidden.

Once he’d finished his food Jungwon began packing his things, standing to go to his class before he was abruptly met by your face. “Hi won! How are you?”

Your hair was breaded today and you wore glasses, maybe you’d ran out of contacts. Your hands were adorned with rings and bracelets as they fidgeted with the hem of your skirt. Jungwon was pulled out of his trance when the way you said his name in a sing song way met his ears,

“You got what you wanted yn you can drop the act,”

he huffed out, walking to his herbology lesson. Your expression dropped as he walked away, did he really think that’s all you wanted? A good fuck? Maybe you were wrong about Jungwon, maybe he is just a dick.

“You should flirt with some guys infront of him, see if he’s really as unbothered as he says he is,”

Minjeong let out a laugh as the five of you walked to the Hufflepuff dorms,

“Rina that is so dumb, you’re not seriously considering that are you yn? Are you?”

You avoided her eyes before bursting into a laugh, explaining that as dumb as it was, Jungwon was a boy, and all boys get jealous! Also, 4 against 1?

“Good luck is all I’m going to say ynnie!”

She laughed as you all walked into the dorms, splitting off to mingle. You opting to walk around with Aeri,

“What about the new boy? If you were his first fuck you’d definitely have him wrapped around your finger,”

you chuckled in disbelief at the girls comment,

“You know Aeri, you make me sound like such a bitch….. but honestly real,”

You bid farewell to the girl before making your way towards the lost looking boy,

“Hey I’m yn! You’re new here right?”

the boys eyes widened at your presence, stuttering slightly before mumbling,

“Y- yeah I’m Jaehyun, Myung Jaehyun, it’s nice to meet you,”

you giggled at the boys nervousness, taking his hand into yours as you began to walk around the crowded room. As you made your way to the drinks table you poured a rather strong one for Jaehyun and yourself,

“Oh I uh, I don’t really drink,”

you furrowed your brows at his comment, bringing the solo cup to his hands,

“Come onnn, it’ll be fine it’s just a bit,”

You watched as Jaehyun eyes flickered between your eyes and the cup, and occasionally your boobs, he gulped slightly before taking the drink into his hands, swigging some back, groaning at the bitterness,

“See,” you clasped your hands, “it’s nice right?”

The boy chuckled, letting out a staggered,

“It’s alright,”

The two of you continued to wander around the room, talking about nothing in particular, and as you finished your drink you turned towards him, arms draping around his neck and his found solace on your hips. “You know,” you stared, “you’re really hot,”

the boys eyes widened, muttering out a thank you, letting his thumbs dip into the waistband of your low rise. “You’re really hot too, like really hot,”

you giggled at Jaehyuns shyness, letting your hand find his hair, pulling him closer towards you, one of his hands left your hip and made its way to guide your chin up towards his. You tilted your head slightly, making it easier for your faces to morph together, you felt his breath on your face as his lips ghosted over yours, finally pulling your lips onto hi-

“Yn,”

You both stop, faces turning towards the ominous voice, oh. When did he even get here?

“Yn can we talk?”

Jungwons face remained completely emotionless, bar from the occasional bite of the lip as his eyes stayed completely on you. “We’re kind of busy here man,”

Jaehyun grunted, clearly not appreciating the blatant cock block, Jungwons eyes met his instantly, raising his eyebrows with a smirk. You felt Jaehyuns hands immediately retract from you, muttering out a quiet, “guess I’ll just go then,” before quickly whisking away. Jungwons eyes met yours again, signalling his head away before walking in the direction of a corridor, prompting you to follow him. You did, obviously.

“You know Jungwon, you’ve got some nerve, this better be good!”

Jungwon immediately shut you off, lips pressing harshly against yours as he pushed you against the cobbled wall.

“F-fuck,” he mumbled through the kiss, “why were you trying to fuck him when I’m right her ?”

you laughed, pulling his face slightly away from yours, his cheeks in between your hand,

“Jungwon are you being for real? I tried to talk to you and you just insulted me and basically called me a slut!”

You watched as the boys Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes slightly widened,

“Yeah I uhh, I’m sorry about that my friends were just teasing me about you so, I’m sorry?”

Your heart hardened once more at his words, he’d told his friends? Like Heeseung had? Had they spoken about you like they had before?

“What do you mean teased you Jungwon? Did you seriously tell them?”

you dropped your hand from his face, stepping away from him, how could he do this to you? You were sure there was something different about him, that your heart knew something about him you didn’t and that’s why you were always so drawn to him. But no, of course not.

Jungwon stared back at you, mouth opening and closing yet no words coming out. Sighing you turned to leave and maybe clear your mind when Jungwon finally reached out and grabbed your hand,

“I didn’t tell them ynnie, I told Sunoo and his big mouth told the others, and I promise they weren’t talking bad about you, they were just saying I was lucky and that you were uh, that doesn’t matter, but I promise, it wasn’t like what Heeseung did, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jungwon stared into your eyes, thumb sweeping over the palm of your hand and he silently pled you to believe him. “Hmm, okay won,”

He smiled lightly, pulling you into hug him, hands finding solace on your back. You patted his back, feeling the air slightly thicken as his lips started pressing lightly down your neck. Your feet naturally carried themselves backwards until you felt the cold brick of the corridor on your exposed back. Jungwons kisses began to get harsher, hands weaving around to brush against your hips, attempting to pull you closer to him. “Jungwon we can’t, not here someone could walk down!”

you felt the boys movements still for a moment, clearly contemplating, before he grabbed your hand and pulled you harshly through the dorms and into the shitty one stall bathroom. You laughed in disbelief at where he’d taken you. The stall was lit by a harsh cool overhead light which accentuated the many badger wall hangings that graced the walls. The sink directly faced the toilet and the two of you could barely fit, having to hold your breath as not to touch the gross wall.

“Jungwon,” you started, “are you seriously going to fuck me in a one stall bathroom?” You laughed slightly at the situation, though it muffled out as Jungwons lips met yours again,

“Yeah,” his breath fanned against your neck as his hands rushed to unbutton your cropped shirt, “I’m seriously going to fuck you in a one stall bathroom, is there a problem?”

As he chuckled the last part he brushed his fingertips over your clothed nipple. You huffed and muttered a ‘n- no’ as Jungwon pulled your shirt off, letting it hit the floor. His hands danced down your body to quickly unbutton your jeans, his lips resuming against your aching body. As your pants hit the floor with a thud you pushed Jungwon away from you again. His eyes looked into yours in worry, searching for any signs of hesitation, though it was washed away when he felt your hands tugging at his jumper,

“I don’t want to be in just my underwear when your fully dressed Jungwon!” the boy laughed, kissing against your cheek before tugging his jumper over his head and disregarding it with your clothes. His lips pulled your attention back to him, biting your lip to grant him access to the rest of your mouth, his tongue licking against yours as your make-out turned messier by the minute. When your hands found the buttons of his shirt, Jungwon chuckled lightly. You were irritability groaning against him as the buttons just wouldn’t work with you. He pulled away from you, swiftly unbuttoning his shirt, all while giggling at your impatient tugs at his pants. As shirt dropped to the floor, Jungwons attention focused in on you once again. His hand pulled you into him, connecting your lips for the nth time thst night.

“Jungwon,” you mumbled onto his lips, “please!”

“Hm? Please what ynnie?”

You pathetically grinded against his leg, hands attempting to unbutton his jeans, accidentally hitting his ever-growing bulge. Jungwons breath hitched at the feeling, your fingertips on his clothed dick the last straw for him.

“Fuck,”

he muttered, his hands weaving around and hooking onto your thighs, he tapped against your ass, signaling for you to jump. You did, obviously, as a small yelp left your lips, the cool porcelain acting as a dramatic contrast to the heat overtaking your body as Jungwons movements became more desire filled. As Jungwons kisses traveled across your chest and neck you became more restless, wanting nothing more than to feel him, however he pleased.

“Fuck, I don’t have a condom, do you want to go back to my room?”

you shook your head against his shoulder, lust overtaking your conscience,

“I don’t care just please,”

you felt his hands find panties, fingertips grazing over the place you needed him most,

“Please what ynnie? I thought we’d established this hm? Use your words or you’re not getting anything,”

a low groan erupted from your chest at the boys tantalising,

“Please just fuck me Jungwon,”

Jungwon laughed into your ear, mumbling a “see how easy that way?”. You swatted away his smug grin, opting to push your leg between his thighs instead of putting up with his teasing.

“Hmm, you need me to prep you?”

He questioned, hand slipping into your panties, immediately shocked at the amount of wetness that soaked his fingers,

“clearly not, all this after a few kisses? You must want me bad baby?”

you whimpered again, begging him to stop his teasing. He complied, for once, hooking his fingers onto your panty line to tug them to the side, his fingers spread your entrance before slipping his fingers into your cunt. As he stretched you out on his hand, his other unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down just enough to pull out his dick.

“You sure about this?”

he questioned, all while rubbing his dick against your cunt, you groaned,

“yes I’m sure just fuck me Jungwon please!”

oh my god. Sure he’d fucked you once before but feeling you raw was a whole ‘nother level, sure it was a bad idea fucking you unprotected, and sure he would definitely regret it tomorrow, but oh my god. The way your eyes hit the back of your head as your nails clawed his back, the way you tightened around him with every stroke, and the way he watched hour tits bounce, still trapped in the confinement’s of your bra, made him feel like he could cum any minute.

“Jungwon oh my god, so- fuck- so big!”

you brought your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. As you felt his hand creep down to your clit you knew it was over for you,

“gonna cum Jungwon, can you cum with me- ah! Cum with me pleaseee,”

The boy chuckled, quickening his movements- the way you kept tightening around him, he was close too,

“keep doing what you’re doing baby I’ll cum with you okay?”

you simply moaned against his shoulder, kissing his neck hard enough you were sure to leave a mark. As you felt Jungwons toying on your clit quicken you knew the coil inside of you was about to snap, the way he was moving inside of you, the raw intimacy of it all, the heat your bodies were creating, the lewd wet noises coming from your cunt and he fucked you the best you ever had been, the sweat building up between your two bodies, the-

“oh my god,”

as you finaly let the coil inside of you snap, you felt Jungwon pull out quickly and release onto your stomach- plunging his fingers inside of your heat to ride you through your orgasm. As the two of you slowly caught your breaths Jungwon lent forward to whisper in your ear,

“Do you wanna hand out? Like, without my cock inside of you I mean? Like a date or something?”

you felt the heat creep back onto your cheeks, pulling away from him to look into his eyes

“Are you serious? Of course I would! It took you long enough to ask wonnie!”

the boy felt his heart start beating again as he lent in to kiss you with more passion than he had before, his hands wandering back around your body to grope your ass and pull you towards him. Just as your hand was about to grab his dick again you two were, rudely, interrupted,

“are you done in there I need a fucking piss?”

A/N : I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!! so much has happened since I started this fix holy moly 😰 ANYWAY I hope you all enjoy it and PULEASE like reblog follow and comment (comments are my fave) so ik what to improve on next time and what you liked Abt my writing!! 🫶🫶

𝐓𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐎𝐄 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

desc. │ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴜɴᴀɴɪᴍᴏᴜꜱ ᴅᴇᴄɪꜱɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴀʟʟᴇʀɪɴᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴅɪɢʏ ʏ/ɴ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋ ꜱᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʟᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴊᴜᴅɢᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀᴛ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴏʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ ʜᴀᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴏʀ. ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʙɪᴛ ᴏꜰ ɪᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ.

pairings. │ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴏʏ!ꜱᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ x ɢᴏᴏᴅ ɢɪʀʟ ʙᴀʟʟᴇʀɪɴᴀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

warnings. │ ꜱᴍᴜᴛ (ʏᴇꜱ…ɪ’ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀʏ), ʜᴀɴᴅᴊᴏʙ, ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ, ꜰᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ, ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ.

It was a unanimous decision that ballerina prodigy y/n was too good for someone like Park sunghoon. It was obvious in the glaring judgmental stares that followed them around at school or in the way that your parents had hated sunghoon and everything he stood for. but you didn’t care about any of that. Not one bit of it at all. They didn’t know Sunghoon like you did, they didn’t know that sunghoon was caring, he was sweet, he was romantic.

Sunghoon would do anything for you and you him. Including sneaking him into your house in the middle of the night while your parents slept only a few doors down.

Your parents hated Sunghoon, loathed him. Your father had called him filth the first time you brought him around to meet them. They had forbade you from seeing him, they didn’t like his motorcycle or his down low attitude.

They thought of him as a lowlife nothing. Sunghoon was far from a lowlife, and just because he didn’t grow up rich or with parents that gave him everything didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of taking care of you, or loving of you.

Trying to convince your parents that was an impossible task. One you had eventually gave up on. You continued to see Sunghoon not allowing them to take control of your life. You may be a ballerina but you aren’t fragile. You could take care of yourself and you knew what you wanted, and what you wanted was Sunghoon.

Your phone was ringing. The constant buzz awaking you from your sleep. You snaked your hand underneath your pillow haphazardly searching for your phone. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room glancing over at the alarm clock that sat on your bedside table, it read 1:26am. Glancing at your phone you see Sunghoon’s name flashing across the screen. In a daze you answered you voice horse with sleep.

“Hoon?” You whispered into the phone “It’s 1am”

“I’m outside” There was a chatter to his teeth, probably due to the frigid cold of the january night. You hurried out of bed, hair disheveled in a tank top and frilly shorts to your window peering outside to see a shivering sunghoon.

You opened your window “Balcony!” You whisper shouted at him. Signaling him to meet you at the balcony. He nodded tucking his hands into his pockets and making his way to the balcony that connected to your room. You opened the sliding doors to your balcony being extra careful at being quiet.

You would never hear the end of it if your parents were to catch Sunghoon sneaking into your house in the middle of the night. They would be livid, they would ground you forever. Even at the grown age of twenty-one it seemed you was still a prisoner to your parents rules while in their house and while they paid for your ballet classes.

Sunghoon climbed the balcony as quiet as he could, letting out a soft grunt when he finally reached the railing, jumping over and landing on your balcony swiftly like the goddamn Spider-man.

"Ok Peter Parker" You teased at Sunghoon, flashing him a cheesy smile.

"I'f I'm Peter Parker that would make you my Mary Jane" His arms wrapped around your waist bringing you into him. He buried his face into your hair and inhaled. "You smell good" He mumbled as you giggled at his sweetness.

"I'm about to freeze to death if we don't go inside you" You had began to slightly shiver due to the cold. Sunghoon picked you up swiftly causing a small yelp to escape your lips.

"Park Sunghoon!" You giggled "put me down you barbarian" He opened the door to the balcony smoothly and closed it just as smoothly.

A sharp sting to your butt had you yelping in surprise as Sunghoon landed a slap to your behind. He tosses you onto your plush bed landing amongst the pillows and fluffy duvet that had adorn your bed.

Sunghoon made a show of crawling over to you slowly, running his hands up your legs and finally to your hips. "I love making men crawl" You teased looking up at Sunhoon as he hovered over you. His laugh rang through the room, you flinched slightly at the sound, hoping and praying that your parents were sleeping too deeply to hear it.

"Only for you baby" Sunghoon said, the smirk on his face giving. away all his intentions for tonight. He landed a soft kiss to your collarbone and another to the nape of your neck, making his way up until he reached your face. He. kissed your cheek softly before letting out a huff of air and plopping down beside you on the bed beside you.

"What did you do today?" he asked you nonchalantly. You had no interest in small talk. You hadn't seen Sunghoon in three days you have missed him, badly.

"Practiced" You mumbled, rolling over onto his body. You straddled his lap making your own way over his face and neck with your lips. Peppering kisses over his cheeks and down his neck. "Yeah?" He asked a breathy-ness to his voice that had further fueled your need to please him. "And then what?"

"Yeah" You whispered "and then I went shopping for new ballet flats" Your hands traveled down Sunghoon's zipper slowly bringing it down to tuck your hand in, freeing his hard cock from the confines of his jeans.

Sunghoon let out a small hiss when your hand made contact with his length. Long and heavy in your nimble hand you fisted him, moving your wrist up and down. "Did you find the fuck- the right flats baby?" Sunghoon wheezed out breathing turning heavier as your small hand moved up and down on his length, slowly at first.

"Mhm" You mumbled looking up at Sunghoon meeting his wild eyes as they frantically looked at you, dark with desire. Sunghoon licked his lips before looking down at your hand as it started moving with more speed. Up and down. "They're white with tiny little lace flowers on the top."

"Just like that sweetheart" Sunghoon groaned out forgetting all topic of conversation, throwing his head back against your soft pillows. "That feels so fucking good"

"Just like this?" You asked quickening the speed of your hand.

Sunghoon lifted his head up slightly too look at you, his eyes flicking from your face to your hand that was tightly wrapped around his cock then to your breasts that sat perfectly perky in your little pink tank top that he loved so much. He licked his lips meeting your eyes before looking down at you boobs once again.

"You want me to use them hoon?" You said not letting up on the speed of your hand.

Sunghoon's rapid nod akin to his suppressed groan was all the confirmation you needed. Reaching for the thin straps of your tank top you yanked them down each arm until your chest was on full display to his hungry eyes. "Fuck yes" Sunghoon moaned "You're so fucking hot"

His compliments only served as fuel to your ever growing need to please him. Your hand left his cock to squish your breast together over his cock barring them between, the head poking out inviting you to bend your head down kissing it softly.

You began moving your breast up and down on his cock, spitting on them to make your movements that much easier.

"Holy f-fuck" Sunghoon hissed out, all worries of your parents hearing you fleeing. His moans turned slightly high pitched as you continued your movements on him. His hands found his way to your face, cupping the apples of your cheeks.

"you're beautiful" He whispered in a daze. His thumb came up to your lips begging for you to open your mouth and suck on it.

You continued your movements bringing Sunghoon closer and closer to his end. "I'm almost there" Sunghoon said in a rush chest heaving.

The sudden bang of a door swinging open knocked you backwards, your hands scrambling to cover your chest, a feeble attempt indeed.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" The boom of your father's voice shook you to your core. The terror of what he just walked in on leaving you speechless. You scrambled to find yourself in the heap of mortification of the moment.

Sunghoon was up on his feet his cock back in his pants and his zipper zipped back up. Your shaking hands reached for you tank top straps yanking them up your arms.

"W-why didn't you knock?" You shrieked, coming face to face with the red angry face of your father and the disgusted look on your mother's.

Your father's attention was on Sunghoon now. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest. Your father moved in a flash yanking Sunghoon by his jacket. "What the fuck are you doing in my house in the middle of the night, you filth!"

Sunghoon's face was red from embarrassment or anger you truly didn't know. Probably both.

"Get off him!" You yelled grabbing at your Father's arm. Your dad yanked his hand back, pushing you to the ground in attempt at pushing you off of him. You looked back at your mom in bewilderment, but she just sat there emotionless not looking you in the eye.

"Don't fucking touch her" Sunghoon hissed out at your Father, his face red definitely from anger.

"Don't tell me what to do in my own house you punk" My father yanked at Sunghoon again before pushing him towards the balcony door. "Get out! Go the way you came. You're never to see my daughter again or you'll regret it."

Sunghoon turned around to look at your father a calmness on his face that had only scared me rather then comfort me.

"That won't be happening sir." Your Father let out a scoff "I love her, and nothing you say will keep me away from her."

Your father let out a full body laugh before nodding his head. "Ok" He said surprising every bone in my body, that quickly vanished in an instant as soon as the next few words left his mouth.

"If you don't stop seeing this scum, I will pull your inheritance and the funding for your ballet classes. You will no longer be a dancer. Do I make myself clear?"

A sob left me at this ultimatum. Your heart cracking in more ways the one. "Dad" You said weekly "Plea-"

"No." Your father stated firmly. "Do I make myself clear?"

without giving you time to respond he turned back to Sunghoon who sat there looking almost as broken as you, his eyes only on you not even your father.

"Get out" Your father said again, and this time Sunghoon had listened. Backing out the door, his gaze still on you before he jumped over the railing making his way down.

Through your sobs you looked at your dad with disgust written all over your face, and with the sharpest tongue and most poisonous venom you could muster you yelled "I hate you."

A sharp slap was heard not even a second later, the sting from your father's hand felt like it would last forever. A gasp was sounded before your mother's voice was heard over your cries "Y/d/n!" She shouted.

"Do not speak to me that way" Your father spit out "You act like a whore you'll get treated like one. If you want to continue to dance you will no longer be seeing that boy"

Sobs racked your entire as your father stormed out of the room in a fleet of anger. You your mother were left alone. You looked up at her with blurry eyes and a shattered heart.

"Mom" You croaked out only to be met with the shake of her head and a sigh before leaving the room after your father.

At ballet class you could forget about most things in life that had left you troubled. The sound of the music and the way your body had reacted to it had left your mind empty. You could only think of the simple things in life. The easy things. It was simple that you loved ballet. At one point in your life you would have given anything to dance, it was your striving force in life.

It kept you going, it was the most important thing to you no matter what. It left you wondering when exactly all that had changed, because here you were doing something you know without a doubt your sixteen yourself would be absolutely mortified to see.

You were giving it up. You were giving up your number one passion in life. The one thing you couldn't live without. Or you thought. Because it seemed you had found something else worth living for. Someone else.

Sunghoon had meant too much to you, and you'd be damned if you'd let a love like his go.

Some people would call you absolutely foolish for making this decision but you didn't care. You would choose Sunghoon in every single lifetime.

After Dance had wrapped up you felt like you had made peace with your decision, preparing yourself for the fight that would be inevitably happening when you got home and informed your parents of your rebellious decision to stay with Sunghoon and give up dance.

You left the dance class building with your duffel bag slung over shoulder and your head held high. What you didn't expect to see upon leaving the double doors was Sunghoon casually leaning against his motorcycle, hands in his pockets looking just as ethereal as he always did.

"Sunghoon!" You said rushing to him, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. "What are doing here?" You said smiling up at him.

He smile was small, the look on his face slightly grim. It had made your stomach drop in an uneasiness you didn't like at all.

"What's wrong?" You asked with urgency. His arms wound tighter around your frame holding you impossibly close to him.

"Should we go somewhere?" You asked pulling away to hop on to the back of his motorcycle like you had a million and one times before. Before you could reach his motorcycle Sunghoon was pulling on your arm lightly.

"What's that bruise on your face" His voice was stern, a tone you were not used to hearing from him. "It...it was my father" You said horsely "But, it's ok." You rushed out quickly. "I'm giving up dance, I'm telling him today"

The smile was back beaming up at Sunghoon with a lovesick look on your face.

"What?" Sunghoon spit on "Y/n you can't do that"

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion at his words. You had thought he would be happy to hear this. You and him would be able to be together without all the fighting from your dad since he would no longer be able to hold the funding for dancing over your head.

Sunghoon's reaction was the exact opposite of what you were expecting it to be.

"What?" The confusion was evident on your face "I thought- I thought you would be happy about this?"

"You thought that I would happy that your'e giving up the best thing in your life up for me? Your god given talent. No. I cant let you" Your heart had felt heavy at his words, the reality of what was happening sinking in.

"Sunghoon..he's going to take my funding away anyway." You said looking up at him. He averted his gaze from you, looking down at the floor. "We can't keep it a secret again he's going to be on me so much harder now..."

"We're not keeping it a secret Y/n" Sunghoon's voice was weak and frail sounding. It was the most small I had ever heard him speak.

"I think.." He trailed off his eyes still not meeting yours no matter how much you silently pleaded for them to. "I think we should stop seeing each other Y/n."

"No" You said weakly "No, no forget about my-"

"It's not about that y/n" Sunghoon interrupted you with a sigh. "I can't let you give up dance ok? Not for me"

There was an ache so deep in your chest you felt like it was going to explode. The contents of your shattered heart to be on full display for everyone to witness.

"You're not 'letting me' I'm choosing to Sunghoon it's my choice." You fought back, your voice cracking breaking the smallest chance you had of seeming strong.

"You're only doing it for me y/n and I cant accept that. I won't be the reason you give up something you’re so amazing at." He took a deep breath grabbing onto your shaking hands bringing them to his lips and kissing them lightly.

"You once told me that dance was your world, that it was the one thing that had ever made you feel important. I would never forgive myself for being the source of that all coming to a stop." He let go of your hands, a glisten to his eyes that you had never seen from him before. It had shaken you to your core.

"Please" You whispered "pl-"

"I love you." Sunghoon said sternly. "Go be the greatest ballet dancer this world has ever seen ok?"

He left a single kiss to your temple, not allowing you to say another word before he was getting back onto his motorcycle. Helmet in his hand he says "Take care of yourself y/n"

The tears continued to fall down your face as you watched him speed off down the street cursing yourself for not fighting harder, for allowing his words to render you motionless.

The next few weeks had felt like a fever dream, an emotionless blur you were a robot of yourself. Eating, sleeping and speaking only when necessary.

You were getting ready for one of the biggest recitals of your career. A lot of important people were coming to watch you dance. Normally you'd be excited, nervous but ready. Now you felt shallow. You didn't care who was going to be there you didn't care that this was one of the most highly anticipated recitals for most of the dance world. In truth you just wanted to get it over with.

The night of the recital was becoming a blur. Your mother and father were there in the crowd awaiting your grand entrance. Your makeup was down flawlessly, you hair in a slick by high bun and your corset top tight to your chest.

You should feel beautiful, radiant even but all you could think about was how you didn’t want to do this. You didn’t want to get on stage and dance for all these people. You didn’t want the pressure and most certainly didn’t want hundreds of eyes watching you like a hawk only to judge your every move.

“You’re up” Your dance instructor said coming up behind you startling you from your thoughts. You nod your head at her readying yourself to get on stage.

The Music began, you ran out to center stage under the spot light moving your body in all the ways you were taught. The routine going off without a hitch. You start to feel yourself starting to enjoy it when all of a sudden a flash of certain someone’s face had made that all come crashing down.

Sunghoon was tucked into the very back of the theater but you wouldn’t dare miss his face. You could point him out in a room full of a million people. He sat there eyes ablaze as he watched you dance. His presence had overwhelmed you, it had distracted you. One wrong leap into the air and you were hurriedly down hitting the floor hard with a big thump, your head slamming into the floor boards below you leaving you in a daze. Your body was frigid, the mortification of falling in front of all these people seeping in like a chill to your bones.

You would never live this down. Your father would be furious and you might as well kiss your chances with all these reps goodbye.

You had fell. During a simple leap you had let yourself slip. It had felt like a punch to the gut when your instructor had ran out to the stage, shouting for them to close the curtains cutting off all visibility of you and your utter humiliation.

“Y/n?!” A frantic voice was heard from the crowd. A deep, husky voice you had loved. It was Sunghoon, Sunghoon was here and you weren’t imaging it. He had come to watch you on the most important night of your life and you had ruined it.

You head was spinning and your vision blurry. You heard frantic shouting from voices you didn’t know and some that sounded familiar but you couldn’t quit place them.

Then suddenly all you could see was darkness.

The sound of beeping and thin white walls was what you had awoken to much later on. Your head was groggy and your mind a jumbled mess of itself.

You knew what happened i mean how could you forget but you didn’t know how you had ended up here. The conclusion that you had passed out had been easy to come to after a few minutes of thinking about it.

You looked around your room, it was empty save for some clothing items strewn about that indicated that people had been in here with you.

The sound of muffled speaking just outside the door also a clear indication that someone was here with you. Probably your parents. But foolishly enough you couldn’t help the small amount of hope that Sunghoon had come. He had shouted for you at theater, that you were sure of. You just didn’t know if he’d come here, where your family most likely occupied. In truth he was the only person you actually wanted to see.

“Hello?” You said hoarsely the words not coming out loud enough to penetrate the door and be heard outside. So instead you pressed the nurses button notifying them that you were awake. Within a minute or two a nurse rushed in with your mom quick on her heels.

“You’re awake!” Your Mother wailed grabbing your hand as the nurse started to inspect you a bit closer. “How do you feel?”

“Ok” You said voice still hoarse and scratchy. You looked around the room, your eyes landing on a black leather jacket that you knew all too well.

“Sunghoon” you said in a whisper looking up at your mom with wide eyes gaging her reaction.

“He’s here sweetheart” Your Mother said rubbing your hand with her palm. “He came..He’s just outside-“

“Tell him to come in” You said quickly, taking your mom aback a bit. “Please” You added on.

Your mother nodded getting up from her spot besides you. She reached the door hand on the handle before turning around to look at you. “Your father did not come” She said, a glum look on her face. “I’m sorry”

You nodded, the hurt from him not being here stung more than you expected but it was painfully obvious that your father was not going to change his mind. It was something you were going to have to accept no matter how much it hurt you.

A few minutes later the door opened revealing Sunghoon in his plan white tea and black jeans.

“Sunghoon” You didn’t know what else to say. The embarrassment from falling earlier creeping in on you.

“I’m sorry” He blurted out before you could say anything else. He sat next to you occupying the spot your mother was just in. “I’m so sorry Y/n” There was a crack to his voice you had never heard before, one that had surprised you.

“Why are you sorry?” You asked confusion laced in your words. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He shook his head a tear falling from his eye. “I thought that letting you go was for the best. That being a dancer was the most important thing for you to do..and i’m sorry for making that decision for you. When i seen your head hit that floor today as hard as it did i had felt a pain i had never felt never. I fear i had never felt before.” He cupped my cheek lightly lifting my head to look at him. Tears fell down my cheeks, his thumb whipping them away in one swift motion.

“I love you, i’ll support you in whatever you want to do. I’ll get 4, 5, 6 jobs if i need to, to help you pay to keep dancing if that’s what you want. i don’t care. i just want to be with you.” This was a side of Sunghoon you had never seen before, a vulnerable side he hadn’t really ever shown anyone.

“You don’t have to beg” You teased “I love you too” You leaned you forehead on his “We’ll get through this i promise” You kissed him. It was soft and delicate and light and sweet and perfect. You didn’t know what was going to happen after this. You didn’t know how your dad would fair with this, or what kind of life you were going to live but all you knew was that it was going to be with Sunghoon, and that really was all you needed.

Guys. i’m literally so sorry. This was absolutely TRASH. It was going so good in the beginning and then it just spiraled down down down. Hopefully you give me another chance in the future lol.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞, 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬. ©𝐡𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨

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