Barry To Bruce: Hal And I Bought Tickets Late And Each Wound Up In Middle Seats On The Same Row.

Barry to Bruce: Hal and I bought tickets late and each wound up in middle seats on the same row.

Barry: I've already apologized to the people beside me 10 times. He's sharing beef jerky with his people and might be in someone's wedding.

Bruce to Barry: That's why I fly private.

Look.

I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.

People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".

These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.

If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.

so no one told you life was gonna be this way

favorite Bruce Wayne hc of the week: you’re allowed to follow him into the Cave to continue your argument, but he’s going to start undressing and pulling off armor while heading for the showers and if you get an eyeful, that’s on you.

It’s an effective tactic and stops a good 60% of those arguments in their tracks. The remaining 40% are usually intense enough to follow Bruce into the showers and yell at him while he’s casually showering off grime and blood.

Bruce, walking into the manor: Hello people who do not live here.

Clark: Hi :D

Diana: Hey!

Oliver: 'sup man

Dinah: yo

Hal: Hiii

Barry: Heyo

Arthur: wassup

Billy: Hey

Bruce: Why are you here??

Barry, mouth full of doritos: We ran out of doritos

----

Bonus:

Bruce: Alfred, why the hell did you let them in??

Alfred, casually having tea w J'onn, whose just happy his son has friends: They ran out of doritos master Bruce, what was I to do? Let them starve??

Bruce: >:(

The League's Property damage video nights are an insane ritual on the Watchtower, where their largest screen is hijacked so that dragged footage from CCTV cameras, government databases, and social media of the most hilarious, costly disasters can be played.

Some notable mentions:

Superman got confused/distracted trying to save a building cut in half during a fight and accidentally permanently fused it onto a totally different building (they decided to merge companies)

Aquaman flooding a small space to fight someone and the resulting wave lifts all the cars on the street and sends them sailing

One of Oliver's explosive arrows blows up fireworks in warehouse district (leading to several flights getting grounded or rerouted)

Diana lassoed something flying and it yanked her so hard that she took out a traffic light and dragged it fifteen blocks with her

Barry tripped over something while running and was too shocked to phase through anything, going crashing (and bouncing) off multiple cars, a fire hydrant, taking out a post box before finally faceplanting to a halt

Hal used the classified schematics from a next-gen fighter jet to make his own construct, causing the Pentagon to lose all the money they'd invested in it