Then Dathomir Will Be Your Grave.

“Then Dathomir will be your grave.”

unfortunately I think I win

lego rex?? I'm eloping right now.

(also tag your friends!) time to start a new chain of chaos >:)

let’s see who the lucky man is-

…hey yk what that’s not bad. it could be a LOT worse.

@stawberrywaffles307 @fiveminutetrash @salubriousbean @kybercrystals94 @royallykt @faithsilver (tags open!)

gonna start saying 'I am in touch with my emotions. slay!' as an affirmation from now on

DAY ONE

Rating: General - No Warnings Apply Relationships: Pretty much just platonic with mentioned Foxiyo Genre: Crack Word Count: 1K Prev | Next A/N: Part of the Fives State of Mind Universe. Read Ask Fives in my pinned post or on AO3 for context! Not beta read but I'd like to think if there are any typos, it was intentional on Fives' part given the form this fic is in.

The esteemed advice columnist Fives has taken some time off work to move into his new home. However, he cannot keep away from the pen for too long. Follow a week in the life of Fives through diary entries as he tries to figure out how to live with four Tauntauns while balancing clone rebellion logistics and organising a housewarming party.

Day one of world domination

Dear Diary,

I heard that all the cool kids keep a diary (not a journal) so they can track important life events. Since I’m going to become super famous (I’m already a famous advice columnist but I’m gonna be even more famous), I thought I may as well start working on my autobiography. After all, if someone is going to write about me and make credits off it, it may as well be the man, the myth, the legend itself. No, not Echo. ME. Mr Fivesalicious.

I like to call it peak multitasking - making credits, preparing for my future, and taking time out for self-care. If one is to give advice to the galaxy and guide it into glory, he must also make sure his personal life is glorious too. My mental health is top priority. I think if we were taught on Kamino to communicate our feelings, half of our problems would be fixed.

Well, maybe not half. More like a small portion. But the point stands - I am in touch with my emotions. Slay!

Bob (my precious smol shy baby boi Tauntaun) is currently snuggled up on my lap and fast asleep. I just moved into my new house and I think he took the move really hard. He really loved Hoth Dawg Ranch and they loved him. I don’t blame them. If you don’t love Bob, there is something seriously wrong with you. I’d follow him to the ends of the galaxy if he asked me.

Anyway, the sudden change of environment has been a bit of a shock. He is a bit anxious and the cooling isn’t cold enough for him. I’m going to let him sleep in my room until my sweet son gets settled in.

In the meantime, I’m working on making his floor of the house fivestastic. I’m giving him a whole floor to himself because he deserves it. There’s 6 floors in my house. One for each of my Tauntauns - Obi-Taun Kenobz, Tauntaunakin, Ahsoka Tauntauno, and Bob. Then there's one for Tup, then Echo and I are sharing because that’s been our lifelong dream. We’re gonna have bunk beds and posters on the wall and party every night! He's setting up a super sweet commlink so we can prank call Rex and Cody and Kix. He's a bit reluctant to prank call Wolffe.

I invited Rex to live with us but he said no :( I’m not sure why he refused my offer to move in with us. Why would he want to sleep in his stuffy quarters when he could have a whole floor to himself at the Fives Mansion! (Note to self: come up with a better name).

Bob’s room is gonna be painted dusty blue and Echo’s painting snowflakes on the wall. Jesse found a disco ball out the back of 79s in a dumpster and is borrowing it for Bob’s room. Tomorrow, I’m going to get some fluffy blankets and get the sound system working. I’m hoping that the playlist of ‘Ambient Noises for Tauntauns to Live To’ will help settle his anxiety. It’s really soothing. I think Captain Rexy should listen to it (I probs should have mentioned this earlier, but for context, he’s the Captain of the 501st and practically my Buir). He seems stressed all the time. Especially when I’m in the room. Funny that…

Otherwise, I didn’t really get up to much today other than renovating. The other kiddos are having fun. Obi-Taun Kenobz was sun baking with Echo when I last checked. They both refused to drink water when I offered and insisted on tea. Obi-Taun Kenobz went inside and rummaged through the cupboards and held a bunch of tea bags in his mouth. It was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.

Ahsoka Tauntauno was bouncing around in our trampoline room. The floor, all the walls, and the ceiling are covered in trampolines. Jesse suggested the idea and I have to say he’s got a point. He’s an icon, he’s a legend, and he is the moment.

Tauntaunakin, oh Tauntaunakin.

Tsk tsk.

He was being super duper emo FOR NO REASON like what?! And he had the AUDACITY to destroy the sunflowers Tup planted in the garden. I’m sure he has some pent up rage and anger issues. He either needs a therapist or some headphones so he can listen to heavy metal music to get his feelings out. Ideally both.

Do Tauntaun therapists exist? (Note to self: ask Echo because he is a genius and practically knows everything).

And then for some reason Tup, my PRECIOUS TUP, got out his blasters and started chasing Tauntaunakin around the garden. I think Tauntaunakin cried. How can Tup be so pure yet so ruthless? But he is such a beautiful soul. And so gentle! The sweet murderous bean is a mystery to me, one that shall take fivesever to solve.

Needless to say, Tup’s not too happy about his sunflowers. But he’s taking a nap in his hammock. I made him put on a bucket hat which was a good idea because the UV index is insane. I never thought I’d ever think about such things, but fatherhood really changes a man.

I’ll have to stop writing soon so I can make them all some sleepy time tea before I read them a bedtime story (we are currently reading Macbeth). It is their favourite part of the day. It’s also mine. They make a wonderful audience. I think I see potential in them to perform tragic plays. Obi-Taun Kenobz, Tauntaunakin, and Ahsoka Tauntauno love playing the witches. Bob prefers to just watch. The others may be born for the stage, but his artistic talent is art itself. His portraits of the Corrie Guard are otherworldly. If you need proof, dear reader from the future who is reading my autobiography diary, interview Marshal Commander Fox. Please just do it anonymously because I don't want him feeling embarrassed.

Echo suggested I write a poem to commemorate buying my first home. He’s a genius. I’ve thought about branching out into limericks. This could be the perfect chance to get in some practice (not that I need any because poetry flows through my veins). I'll have to do it later tonight.

Love,

Fives

There once was a boy called Fives

Who suddenly broke out in hives

His face was so red

I hope it won’t spread

He should hide forever in the archives

LOVE ECHO

THE MOST IMPORTANT NOTE TO SELF: Tuck the children into bed. Strangle Echo. Order Pantoran takeout.

just got this in the mail with stickers omg I'm going insane he's so CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

I will cherish him forever <3 <3

Sharpie Fives doodle oop

So what is this!? 🤷🏽‍♀️ What is this, me and Wrecker and his soul-soothing and back-cracking hugs, drawing and talking about 😂 So today you get one of my favorite Wrecker hugs and my first drawing of the one and only Captain Rex and finally… TECH 😎

Sorry, but not sorry – you have to deal with my interpretation of his hair, because I love to draw wavy hair ☺️

Have a look on the portait details! I really like to know, what Echo, Hunter and Tech are thinking in this moment. Let me know, what do you guess?

In my opinion, Echo smirks because this is maybe the first time his captain looks small 😂

Poor Rex 😁 Never gets used to hugs and maybe bone-crashing is a hurting thing too… 😀

This frame might be my favorite in this piece 😄🙏🏼 Hunter looks nearly shocked while Tech shows one of his rare little smiles!

In this artwork it’s the first time, I experimented with light on dark inverted shading and with the color pecker in Procreate, but only for the background colors ☺️ Hope you enjoy 🫶🏼

omg I loved this so much !!! nervous rex is my favourite, and such a nice concept too :)

Necklaces - Rex x f!JediReader

Summary: Rex told himself the necklaces you adorned were only so captivating because Jedi didn’t usually have such things. 

A Rex one shot where we follow Rex working through his thoughts (feelings) about your necklaces. 

Tags/Warnings: CT - 7567/Captain Rex, Jedi Reader, Rex is confused bless him, implied sexual content, alcohol references.

Word count: 1.2k

Author's note: This came to me this afternoon and I had to get it out of my brain. This is for my girlies who love layering their drip and love Rex. Niche? Probably yes.

On a more serious note, this is my first time writing again in years. Do I feel vulnerable posting this? Yes, dear reader, I do. But you gotta start somewhere. Feedback is appreciated :)

— 

It’s not like he hadn’t seen them before. Rex knew that. Many women wore them in a variety of colours, stones, metals, and he didn’t care then. So why, Maker why, was he so captivated by the delicate necklaces you wore around your neck everyday? 

It had been the second thing he’d noticed about you when you’d met. The sterile light of the ship danced across the silky chains, pulling his eyes both up to your neck and down between your cleavage. 

He told himself the necklaces were only so noticeable because Jedi didn’t usually have such things. Wasn’t it forbidden anyway? He thought as he regarded you from afar. 

He’d steal glances at them. He’d watch you untangle the fine chains during moments of respite, lifting your hair away and methodically shuffling the clasps to the back of your neck. He quickly realised you’d toy with them when deep in thought, too. 

He’d watch the chains dangle from your neck when you lent over the command table to point at something, and force his eyes to wherever you were gesturing. Doing his best to ignore the sounds of clinking pendants accompanying your smooth voice. 

He’d watch the way his brothers also took note of them, feeling a lump in his throat and twist in his gut which he didn’t want to name.

— 

He remembered the day he asked you about them. It had been a few months since you’d joined the battalion and while he cringed inwardly at asking such a personal question, he’d grown tired of wondering what the shapes and symbols meant to you. He wanted this information for himself, making sure to ask you when everyone else had left the command room for the evening.

You’d smiled at his question and absentmindedly moved your hands to fiddle with the chains – unaware that you’d mesmerised the Captain in the process – as you explained they were from your home planet. You frowned when you discovered they’d tangled yet again.

“Allow me, ma’am,” Rex stepped forward, feeling like his feet weren’t his own as he moved into your space and tilted his head to get a better look at your neck.

His ears felt so hot he almost didn’t hear you thank him. His hands didn’t betray his nerves as he brought his thick, calloused fingers to the dainty chains. He huffed as he managed to tangle them even more before finally getting the hang of it and gently prying them apart. 

In such close proximity, he almost felt dizzy. He’d never have guessed you’d smell so floral, sweet, womanly. You’d averted your gaze, watching him in your peripheral vision with a small smile. Rex could feel your heartbeat in your neck thrumming away, and resisted reaching out to run his knuckle along your high cheekbones.

—

Then there was that time you joined them at 79s. How could he forget? You’d worn a dress that, while modest, didn’t exactly hide your figure as you sat across the table looking at him. The sweetheart neckline you wore was anything but sweet on Rex’s alcohol-buzzed mind. 

And those necklaces. Fuck… those necklaces, Rex thought as he ran a hand over his face at the booth. They sit so beautifully on your skin, he noted, before realising this was his first time seeing them against your flawless skin and not your robes. Taking another sip of his drink, he shoved down his brain’s traitorous musings of how the chains would lie on your chest if he could lay you down and– 

Standing up, and feeling grateful for his codpiece, Rex went to get some air. He took a woman home that night. She wore necklaces too.

—

And then one day, while lying in his bunk and trying to fall asleep, Rex realised that his fascination with your necklaces actually had very little to do with the necklaces. 

—

It was stupid. Plain bloody stupid. Reckless, too. But there Rex stood. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other outside your door. His heartbeat thundering away. The door opened and you smiled at him. It may as well have been a bullet to his heart. 

“Yes Captain?”

“I-uh, I got you this.”

Rex reached into his utility belt, mentally kicking himself for stammering like a shiny. 

His chest tightened watching you quizzically look over the velvet pouch he’d put in your hand. He almost wished he could take it back. Take it all back and get on with his life again. No matter how much duller it would be.

You gasped as you pulled the necklace from the packaging. A fine golden chain bearing a pearl dangling in the air as you examined it. Rex tried to gauge your reaction. He both wanted to see every minute expression you made, but also to turn away and hide should you hate it or him for doing this. He felt sick. 

“Rex, it’s gorgeous,” you found your voice, “how did you know I’d lost my other one?”

“Hard not to,” Rex shrugged, before wincing at giving himself away. 

Great, now she thinks you're some creep keeping tabs on what she wears, he thought, before groaning inwardly at the realisation that he had been doing exactly that. 

But how could he not know? Rex had noticed your distress when you’d realised that one of your necklaces was missing only a few rotations ago. Most of the men were tired, sitting on the shuttle floor as it carried you to The Resolute. You hadn’t said anything, but you didn’t need to. He noticed. Through his helmet, he watched you clasp the base of your neck, counting your chains with knitted brows, before checking your belt, your pockets, even your boots, before you looked down and pinched your eyes shut. He knew what that expression on you meant by now.

He could feel your hurt from across the shuttle. And he hated it. 

Your soft lips pressed to his cheek snapped Rex back to the present moment. His eyes went wide and body as rigid as durasteel. He just knew his cheeks had flushed.

“Thank you Rex. Would you do the honours?” You fiddled with the new addition to your stack.

Red nodded, his throat too dry to speak. 

He watched you turn around, presenting your neck to him. Gently, so gently, perhaps as cautiously as he’d ever moved in his life, Rex swept your hair to the side. He raised the necklace, taking a selfish moment to breathe you in. He was so scared he’d wake up any minute now, in his bunk with his heart hurting and panicked breathing. 

But when he felt your warm skin under his fingertips, he knew this couldn’t possibly be a dream. Securing the clasp, he thanked the gods above that you liked it. That he hadn’t overstepped. That you’d let him get this close again.

His breath hitched seeing the pearl as you turned around. It looked like it was always meant to be there, falling perfectly between the other jewels and gleaming the light. 

“What do you think?” You asked cheekily. You’d pushed your chest out towards him, as if it would help him see any better.

Maker, are you trying to kill me? 

Rex wracked his brain for an intelligent response. For something that walked the line between professionalism and flattery. He blanked and settled with the truth instead.

“You’re beautiful.” 

Your subsequent blush is unmissable. Rex grins, euphoria flooding his veins and reaching every fibre of his being. 

— fin —