When Have You Last Hugged Someone?

When have you last hugged someone?

No, not those hugs you give when you meet up with a friend or bid goodbye.

When have you last hugged someone? Wrapped your arms around them as tightly as you could, smiled or cried at their familiar scent, buried your face into their neck, pulling them to yourself as close as you could, so much that you wished you were one with them, so much that you never, ever wanted to let go.

For Gojo, the answer was never.

"C'mon, Satoru, let me go already!" Your laughing voice sounds muffled beneath his suffocating body. "You're such a baby."

Until he met you.

He tries to laugh with you, but he's too relieved, too focused on holding his tears back to let you go.

He had a nightmare, you see.

One you kissed him a teary goodbye, one your hands felt cold, one where he hugged you just like this but you felt cold and limp.

For the first time in his life, Gojo had a nightmare that woke him up with tears running down his cheeks.

His heart races as he thinks back on the cursed dream, his hand pull you even closer.

As someone who never let anyone get close to him- physically or emotionally, as someone who never let anyone touch him or his heart, it sure is terrifying to be on the verge of tears just because he saw you dying in his dream.

Gojo is no coward.

But he sometimes wishes he never met you.

Because he can't leave you. He can't leave you like he has been doing all his life. Whenever someone got too close, whenever he cared too much about anyone, leaving was the better choice for both parties.

But this time, even when he tried to, Gojo can't leave you.

Gojo is no coward.

But he sometimes wishes he never met you.

Because then, he wouldn't have to wake up crying in fear to the thought of you leaving him.

a/n: a lil drabble because it's free therapy to write when I'm sad. Anyways. When have you last hugged someone?

It’s always either chartreuse or rainbow ,, you‘re my best friend but i would kiss the shit out of you ig 🙄❤️

It should always be rainbow.

pretty colors for sweet people

Do you think gojo is the type to self sabotage his relationships. I get the feeling from him because of geto and the whole "love is the most twisted curse" quote. He really gives the vibe of someone who's cynical about "love"🤔

Give me a minute, I think I'll cry.

No but jokes aside, that quote just resonates with me a lot, and I know what he means and feels as he says that.

I've seen many people fall in love. It's true, it's beautiful, but oh so ugly.

I never understood why anyone would want to fall in love. Loving someone so much that you put them before you, care for them more than you do for yourself? No, thanks.

Imagine how Gojo would feel in that situation, though. He's a selfish person, I think we all know that very well, and imagine how weird and terrifying it should be to see all these people who he thought were like himself (incapable of love, he explains) lose themselves for this one special person.

To stay alive, Gojo has to stay alone. To succeed, he has to be alone.

But to stay sane? He's not so sure.

So he goes on dates anyway, seeks the validation, secretly hopes to feel that thing everyone tells him he will- "you'll know when you meet them."

Of course, Gojo has people he likes, people he thinks as attractive, cute, amazing- but here's the catch. If he can push them away from himself, if he still can self sabotage with these people he likes, how is that love?

It's a paradox. He pushes people away before he can fall in love, but if he can push them away, he's not I love.

He's glad he doesn't fall in love. He's seen so many people do, so many people feel that highest form of happiness now that they finally feel whole- and he's seen so many people die because of it.

He's not willing to take the chance.

Gojo hates the idea of love. It's irrational, almost like a contract of death; but that's not why he hates it, it's because he can't feel it.

Cynical, he is. It's just to cover up the fact that he longs for it, though.

p.s: I do not mean to say that Gojo is incapable of love. He just doesn't let himself fall in love- and it's ironic because everyone tells him he can't help it. You can't help but fall in love.

Well, surprise. Gojo can. The moment he feels that tingle in his chest, he can just push them away. See? Helped it.

Still, he sometimes wonders if that does mean he is incapable of love as everyone tells him, or if he's just too good at controlling his emotions.

Whatever it is, he just doesn't think being alone feels as good as it used to.

fuchsia + cinnamon + umber! <33

BAABWJAJW ur so sweet!! I love chatting w you we really should talk more lmao

you have so much writing omg I wanna binge read through your masterlist

... are you sure you wanna do that 😅😃 no but jokes aside your writing is so damn good I'd feel very stressed if you did shehwje

Still thank you very much it makes me feel sum kinda way knowing you'd wanna read that

I will kill this man with my bare hands. I do not care. If you touch shinsou one more time I'll break your mid-air-dancing-ass.